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taki118 · 4 years

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Go Watch the Venture Brothers

So just heard the complete and utter Bullshit news that Adult Swim has cancelled one of (if not the best shows) they have the Venture Bros. This series is one of those shows that for WHATEVER reason never got to the level of fandom Rick and Morty has even though they’ve been at the genre parody game longer and in my opinion better.

The series is about Rusty Venture former boy adventurer and failing super scientist who in an attempt to keep his head above water in debt goes around with his two boys Hank and Dean, and bodyguard Brock on misadventues while various legal archnemisis go after him, such as the Monarch.

So if you never watched or never heard of this 7 season series let me give you a break down on why you should,

1) Art Style & Animation

Venture bros is one of those rare Adult aimed animated series that that really truly tries to utilize their medium to the best of their abilities. Season 1 had like such a small budget and corners had to be cut so it can be a little hard to watch at times.

But with each passing season they get a little better, a little more fluid, go just a little harder and it truly feels rewarding to watch. Like seeing an artist you follow online improve over the years. Like they COULD have stayed with the choppy and stiff animation from season 1 it fit right in with its fellow adult animated shows but it didn’t. They strove for quality to have something that matched the story they were telling.

2) The Writing

Venture Bros has some of the tightest and consistently great writing of ANY serialized show I’ve seen, adult, animated or other wise. Wanna know why? Cause it’s all done by TWO people (save for like one ep each season where one other person is allowed to touch their baby). Yeah TWO people and they work their asses off every season to interject, humor, refrences, parody, plot and character development in equal measure.

3) Character Development

Um yes in case you were wondering that’s right an adult animated show has CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT that holds as the series goes on. Not to give spoilers but characters will go through changes in alignment, relationships will develop and change, some characters will go through negative arcs where they are straight up unbareable for a season before coming out the other side even better than they were before. There is no end of epsiode or even end of season reset. Characters, settings, and dynamics all change over the course of the show and it feels just so god damn good.

4) Story Development

Just like the characters the story of the Venture Bros grows and changes each season. Things that are set up even as early as season one are paid off as the series goes on. Like not to be that bitch but you know how RIck and Morty teases an overarching plot ALL THE TIME but like will often just spit in the face of fans hoping for more than like one episode a season addressing it? Yeahhhhhhh that doesnt happen here, fans are consistently rewarded for putting the time in to rewatch and really think about what happened in the series. Characters that are seen in the background or are just referenced by other characters will be brought in to be recurring characters, things that start off as a small detail or gag will be given larger relevance and each time they do this you get that “OH I remember that from last season! So thats what it was!” The writers WANT you to rewatch, they WANT you to analyze and they WANT you to theorize, and they give you a show that gives back the time you put in.

5) Parody & Reference

This series does a great thing with parody. They make real characters who are just as enjoyable as the characters they parody, they make story lines that both poke fun at the absurdity of the media but shows the writers love for it. So often parody and references are just used to mock the thing but with Venture Bros you feel the love and care so when you know the thing being parodied you can laugh but feel good about laughing cause they are never laughing at a thing maybe you cared for in your youth but rather laughing with it.

And it’s never just one thing. When they parody a thing its often layered with other things to make it even more unique. Scooby-Doo is overlayed with famous criminals, Laura Croft is mixed Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, GI Joe is given the look of the Village People and so on. They never go for the easy joke or reference. Hell theres an episode that starts with them reciting the lyrics to David Bowies Space Oddity for really no reason other than they could. They weave these things in naturally with their setting and characters so nothing feels out of place. Like if you dont catch a reference or parody you dont feel like “I think this isa reference to something?” like a LOT of things do not just adult animated shows. You arent taken out of the moment cause it all feels so natural.

6) The Characters

God damn these characters, I could go on for hours about these characters. From main to one off these are some of the most likeable characters you can find. I mean it when I say I can’t think of a single character I wish they had cut cause they are all so well created. Even the ones I hate i have fun hating cause they were made to be that way. I’ll be good though I’ll only talk about my absolute top faves.

- The Monarchs

You ever sit and wish villain couples could have functional healthy relationships? Well look no further than Malcom Fitzcarraldo aka The Monarch and Dr. Shelia Girlfriend (yes that is her last name). The Monarch is a high strung impulsive saturday morning cartoon villain whos tendency to over react is only matched by his unspecified hatred of Dr. Venture. And Dr. G is his nonsense partner in crime who will cut a bitch if they don’t play by their admittedly weird rules. Both characters are great on their own but are better together. Though that doesnt mean they always get along. Like a real couple they have their ups and downs they fight, break up, make-up and grow stronger in their relationship with each season.

- Shore Leave

Ok ok so I want you to imagine James Bond, mixed with GI Joe simmering in a cocktail of the most flamboyant gay men you have ever seen and you have one of my favorite gay characters/characters in general. Shore Leave is a member of OSI (the shows SHEILD/GI Joe parody organization) he’s loud, brash, flippant, sassy and highly competent at his job loving every second of getting to beat bad guys down within an inch of their life. I love seeing him play off the stoic Brock and the two have this great brotherly dynamic that’s never called into question. He also gets to have a very cute romance with Al the Alchemist (who is also great). I could talk about this man all day.

- Dr. Rusty Venture

They did such a good job with this man. He’s a self serving, sexist, perverted, whinny, self important asshole and yet you feel pity and genuine sympathy for him and want him to succeed. You can see how Dr. V was given a raw deal by his father who seemed to care more about his adventures than his sons well being and how this molded him into the bitter man he is today, but on the flip side you can see where he chose to use that as a crutch for his worst behaviors and impulses. Seeing him slowly grow and change and be an actual good father to his boys while all the while still be a giant dick is actually really great.

- Dr. Byron Orpheus

Ahhhhh Dr. Orpheus part Dr. Strange Parody part busybody stay at home dad, he’s just such a delight. Dr. Orpheus is a divorcee, with an unfulfilling job of maintaining order to the cosmos (which isnt as hard as one might think), and uses his magical ablities in ways most of us would (ie menial tasks and home chores). Overly dramatic and affectionate Dr. O is a delight whenever he appears, but he’s at his best around his daughter and old friends The Order of the Triad.

Again I can go on but all these characters ranging from main to recurring are crafted with the utmost care for you to want to see them succeed or fail, to see them again even if you know it’ll never happen, and want them to cross paths with other characters.

The Venture Bros is one of those series that I will ALWAYS recommend even to the pickiest of humor tastes. But if you don’t believe its as good as I said or don’t think the concept is to your tastes I’ll recommend a few eps that I think best show off the base idea of the series without giving much away. In terms of plot and spoilers, though somethings wont make a lot of sense.

- S1 ep10 "Tag Sale – You're It!" - Dr. V is having a yard sale so of course all manner of costumed weirdos show up. - S2 ep5 "Twenty Years to Midnight" - basically a fetch quest around the world to save the planet with daddy issues - S3 ep2 "The Doctor Is Sin" - Again daddy issues but with one of the best recurring characters and a great showcase of the series deeper emotional plots - S4 ep6 "Self-Medication" - Really embraces the parody as Rusty goes to a former boy adventurer support group. Anyway the show is 7 seasons with 80 episodes, please go watch it. I will never forgive @adultswim for cancelling what was to be their final season. And in closing GO TEAM VENTURE!

#venture bros #the venture bros #venture brothers #adultswim #adult animated shows #animated shows #animation #go watch this show #go watch #adult animation

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wayward-mikaelson · 4 years

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His Little Sister--Part Two

Word Count: 2192

Requested By: @myinconnelly1 She hyped it up for me and I am glad she did! The part where the Fan ask a questions was all her idea and I love it!

Pairing: Jared x Reader

Characters: Reader, Jared, Jensen, Richard Speight Jr, Misha, Alex, Rob Benedict, Fans, Cliff (Mentioned), Danneel Ackles (Mentioned). Ackles Twins (Mentioned).

About: Months have gone by and the Reader and Sam have successfully (and playfully) hidden their relationship from Jensen. But during a convention, the Reader and Sam don’t know that their soft conversation was heard by a fan who asks Jensen his thoughts about it in front of everyone.

Disclaimer: Language, Quickie (Unprotected--Don’t be silly wrap that willy), Angst, Fluff, Possible Pregnant Reader,

Disclaimer 2: Any of the shorts that are hot and steamy, I want to put out there that it's in no way disrespectful towards Gen at all. I love her to death and respect that marriage between her and Jared. So when reading those shorts, know that it all takes place in an alternate world where they aren't married at all.

Forever Tag List: @donnaintx @myinconnelly1 @hobby27 @magssteenkamp @elansaidaris @440mxs-wife

*18+ CONTENT. ANYONE YOUNGER THAN 18 WILL NEED TO MOVE ALONG. I DO NOT WANT TO RISK MY ACCOUNT BEING THANOSED.

**PLEASE DO NOT COPY AND PASTE MY WORK ANYWHERE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION AND OR GIVING ME THE PROPER CREDIT. I WORK TOO HARD ON MY WORK TO HAVE IT STOLEN. YOU MAY COPY THE LINK TO THIS WORK AND SHARE IT. YOU MAY ADD THIS LINK TO A MASTERLIST.

***THIS WORK IS ALSO POSTED ON IG, WATTPAD, AND AO3. PLEASE GO SHOW IT LOVE OVER THERE.

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*****DMS ARE OPEN FOR REQUESTS

Read PART ONE

Want to read my favorite fanfics click HERE

I hold tight to the extra as he takes the fake blade out of themselves and stabs me with it. I pop the 'blood' capsule in my mouth and let it trickle out the corner of my mouth. I chuckle and take a step towards the fake cliff edge.

"Opheila, No!" Jared yells his line from a distance. I turn to him and give a smile smile before turning back to the extra.

"This is for Claire," I say my line in a wicked tone as the extra and I fall five feet into the giant air bag waiting for us below.

"Cut!" Rich yells from his chair. "Now that's what I call a wrap up!"

The extra and I roll off the bag. Jensen is waiting for me on the ground. "That was awesome," he says steadying me. I eye Jared off in the distance. He looks me up and down and winks at me before walking off. We have plans to meet up later.

Jared and I had been sleeping together for some months now. We had plans on telling my brother but, we kind of like the sneaking around. And since we were seeing each other secretly and having amazing hot sex, it made our characters chemistry on set better. Jensen and everyone just thought that it was amazing acting. So what everyone saw as Sam touching and or kissing Opheila, was actually Jared touching and or kissing me.

"So," Jensen and I walk back to the make up area so I can get this thick make up off my face. I feel like a part time clown and part time stripper. "What do you say we go out and celebrate tonight. It'll be me, you, Jared, maybe that chick Jared had talked to months ago, and that extra that keeps checking you out."

I choke on my water. "Jared says that chick," I say chick as smooth as I can. "wasn't what he's looking for. It wasn't going anywhere. Plus what extra?"

Jensen pulls me close to him and points to a dude all dressed up in black. "The demon that you killed before your fall with Claire's killer. He's been looking at you all freaking week and I've talked with him a few times. You might actually like him. Maybe get you back into the dating game."

I choke again. "We will see about that."

After I'm make up I free. I avoid my brother at all costs. I even avoid the journalist that have been hounding me for months. Ever since word had gotten out about my return to acting. every magazine and online news outlets wanted some part of me. And it wasn't because I was on Riverdale before it was because I am YN Ackles the little sister to Jensen.

I do a million double takes as I walk towards Jareds trailer. No one and I mean no one knew about us. We hid it that well. I get to his door when a voice stops me.

"Hey," it's Misha. "Tell that knuckle head it's on." He tosses an empty bottle of fart spray towards me. I barely catch it and realize it still has a smell.

"Oh God, "I make a face and throw it back Misha. "You're fucking gross, Misha." Misha dodges it and laughs as he walks away. The guys and their games and pranks. One of these days one of their pranks are going to back fire on them. Now that will be worth watching.

I walk into the trailer and once the door closes, Jared hands are pulling me away from the visible windows and pushing me up on the wall where no one can see us. "Took you long enough," His voice purrs into my ear as he unbuttons my shirt. I close my eyes and exhale. This is the best way to relax after a day like this.

"Sorry," I fumble with my belt and pants. "I was too busy loosing my brother on set." I finally get my belt off and pants undone. I push Jared back towards his bed, he's already working on his pants. I kick my pants off and throw my already unbuttoned shirt to the side. I walk up to Jared, whose now just in his boxers. His hard erection extremely visible. The throbbing and wetness in my core is screaming for it to be inside of me.

I push Jared onto his bed and straddle his lap. His cock poking me hard through our thin underwear. Jared reaches down between us and shoves not only his underwear off but mine as well. I lift myself up and slowly lower myself over his long, thick and throbbing cock. Jared groans and falls back onto the bed as I begin to move my hips up and down. He feels so good inside of me.

After a minute, Jared sits up and flips us over. He grabs my hands and pins them above my head and thrust deeper and faster inside of me. I bite my lip to keep myself from making a sound. A few small whimpers escape me. I kick my leg up and throw them around Jared waist to make sure he stays deep inside. Jared thrusts go from lightning fast to average and sloppy. He's close and I start to feel myself tighten hard around him.

I look into his eyes, "Don't pull out," I manage to get out in between thrusts and whimpers. With that, I feel Jared slam himself into me releasing everything he's got inside of me. I feel myself let go and arch myself into his chest. Jared slowly thrusts through both our orgasms.

"Wasn't my plan for it to be that short," Jared rolls over and pulls me to his chest. "Still amazing though." He kisses my head. "I love you YN."

"I love you, too, Jared," I take a deep breath until theres a knock on the trailer door.

***

A month as gone by and we are all back home. Jared and I are still seeing each other secretly. Jensen is doing interviews and such about this latest season of Supernatural. I have been contacted multiple time about bringing back my character on Riverdale. Today I gave the middle finger to them. They did me dirty by cutting me off from the show without telling me or let alone talking to me about it. I have a lot on my plate.

Dallas Con.

I walk out of the bathroom of my hotel room and see Jared sitting on the couch. His wringing his hands as he looks up at me. I hand him the stick in my hand. "This one says negative, but the one from last night for sure said positive." My period was a week late. It's never late. It's always been on time. Until now. Six tests later four say I could be pregnant but the other two say I may not be.

"We just keep testing," Jared sits it next to the other test I took from last night. "Until we know for sure."

"Babe," I sit next to him and take his hand. "Danneel needed a blood test with the twins after getting wonky test results like this. I'll call an OBGYN tomorrow and get in as soon as I can." I lean in and kiss him.

"Okay," Jared smiles. "I trust you." He stands up and I stand up with him. "Should we head on down?"

Walking down the hotel hallway, Jared stops us and looks at me. "You know, I can actually see this whole thing being possible."

"That I can convince you to rip a condom off and have you cum inside me," I say. My mind is in the same place. "And to not pull out when a condom isn't in play." Those nights and days where Jared cums in me were always the best.

"Quite a few times, actually," Jared licks his lips which he knows is a dead ass turn on for me. "If we are pregnant, we will need to tell Jensen." Jared leans down to kiss me. "You'll be an amazing mom."

The convention is a blast. We laugh and joke about our time on set. We even answer questions about Sam and Opheila. I don't think I have ever laughed that hard before. Everything was settling down and it was my cue to go off stage. As I am walking off I hear the next question.

"This one is for Jensen," a fan says.

"Ha! Mine," Jensen playfully pushes Jared.

"How do you feel about YN being pregnant, becoming an uncle, and Jared being officially apart of the family?"

I spin around wondering if I heard that right. Jared chokes on his water. My brother's eyes widen. Rich and Rob both have their mouths hanging open. I feel the color drain from my face. I look back to see Misha and Alex staring too. The whole ball room is quite. I look back and lock eyes with Jared. How the hell did this fan know?

"What's that?" Jensen asks looking my way.

"How do you feel about your sister and Jared becoming parents?" the Fan asked again. This time there was something in her voice that knew that no one knew.

"Um," Jensen looks back at Jared. The look on his face was unreadable. "I'm still processing that. How do you feel, bro?" Jensen says bro with enough emphasis that makes me make my way to the water.

The rest of the panel is awkward. All questions were about Jared and I. Jensen's entire face is still unreadable that made me nervous. He has only been like this a few times before and it usually ends with him being pissed off.

When the panel is over Jensen walks up to me and takes my arm and pulls me out of the ballroom. Jared is following behind. Jensen takes us to a whole other part of the hotel. Before we know it we are in an empty room. Jensen lets go of my arm and spins around and rubs his face. Jared steps closer to me but I stop him. I don't know what my brother was thinking.

"You guys are sleeping together?" He exclaims making a face. "My little sister and best friend are having sex and a baby. How long has this been going on?"

Jared and I exchange looks. "November," I look back at Jensen who has risen is eyebrows higher than they normally go.

"Six months?!" He claims. "And you guys didn't tell me?! This hurts guys. What hurts more is I have to learn that you guys are having a baby. From a fan!"

Jensen rubs his face again. Jared pulls out his phone and looks at the both of us. "Uh, Cliff is looking for me. Wants me for mine and Misha's photo op."

"Go," Jensen and I say.

I sit on the ground and Jensen sits as well. "We aren't sure if I am pregnant or not. The tests are wonky. Kind of like Dee's were with the twins. And we meant to tell you but we got caught up in the fun of sneaking around." Jensen takes a deep breath and just stares at me. "I'm sorry Jay," I reach for his hand. "If it makes you happy or feel any better, no one else knew either."

"I can see it now," Jensen looks down at the ground and starts to pull at a piece of rug. "It was right in front of me the whole time but I was blind to it." He looks up at me. "So, will you be getting a blood test?"

I nod. "The only way to know for sure. And if I really am," I pat Jensen's hand. "You'll be a kick ass uncle."

"Damn right I will be."

By the end of the next week, Jared and I go public about our relationship and the news that by the new year the two of us will be introducing our first child into the world. A couple months later, Jared and I tie the knot in a very intimate ceremony that included just both our families and closest friends. Three days before Christmas, Jared and I welcome a little girl into the world. She is the most beautiful thing on the planet and watching my brother fall in love with her melts my heart.

By the time New Years Hit, Jared is home on break from filming. We rent out a small apartment on the outskirts of Austin. I had a few more weeks before I was cleared to go back. Jared leads me to our apartment balcony the view is absolutely breath taking. Even at night. Jared pulls me close to him and kisses me gently as fireworks were set off in the distance. "Happy New Years, Mrs. Padalecki."

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blondecarfucker · 5 years

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Bed of Roses (Chapter 20)

Roger Taylor x Reader

BoRhap!Roger Taylor x Reader

Fic Summary: It's 1971. You just moved to London to study, and you find a band on a local pub after a bad date. The encounter doesn’t go the way you expect it, and neither does what follows this evening as you try to deal with loving Roger Taylor.

Fic Note: So I’ve had this story in my head for the last three weeks and finally decided to write it down. It’s completely planned. It will have 21 chapters and it’s divided in three acts: Dusk, Night and Dawn. It’s will be a bit angsty in the future, and it will most likely have some smut as well. I hope you guys enjoy it! Tell me what you think about it in the asks/comments/messages. PLEASE REMEMBER THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER OF THE STORY. If this is your first time stumbling upon Bed of Roses, thank you for stopping by! The rest of the story is in my masterlist, the link is in my bio - can't put the link here or else the post will disappear from the tags.

Chapter's notes: GUYS THIS TOOK SO LONG AND IM SORRY. im actually in another city at the moment and yeah, having free time has been a bit hard - i wrote this mostly on a plane and now im editing it on an uber on my way to class. BUT, theres only one more chapter to go!!! WTF!!!! its so close to the end???? i mean?????? but its been an amazing journey and mostly thanks to you all!! more thanks on the next chapter where im gonna be so cheesy thanking you all, just wait. anyway, nice fun sexy chapter to heal our hearts from the break up and stuff! hope you enjoy

Words: around 4k

Warnings: smut, alcohol, swearing probably. all in good fun tho. probably some errors cause its been a busy week

ACT 3 - DAWN

"It's the moment night time seems weaker and everything seems easier to figure out"

Chapter 20

Paris

You hold Roger's hand as you wait in line for the immigration officer to check your passports. The activity in itself is something the both of you did many, many times before - you travelled a lot with the band.

But this was different. You were not only alone with Roger, but there was nothing concerning you - his mood, your job, nothing. You feel at ease.

Roger's idea to go somewhere where none of you knew very well was brilliant. Since you're outside of your comfort zone anyways, you were both more easy going, not overthinking anything, just spontaneous. You knew the time where you would talk about your relationship and how you want to deal with everything would come, but you weren't stressing about it. You would think about it once the time came - there was no reason to be concerned now.

Cause now you could only feel Roger's touch, hear him humming something - you couldn't believe he was humming La Vie En Rose, the most cliche Paris song of all times, but of course he was. His shoulders are relaxed, and he brushes his thumb against the skin on your hand. His smell is all around you.

You could really immerse in the presence each other, now. Ever since you left London, where almost everything between you happened, you didn't really knew anything else - the fields on the window, the french being spoken by the people on the cabin next to yours. So you just laid your head on his lap as he ran his fingers through your hair and told you about the little things you missed.

His eyesight has gotten worse, and now he can't really do anything without his contacts. He met David Bowie in an award show, and he thought of you - he knew how much you liked him. He still knew all of Fleetwood Mac's 1974 album songs by heart - he kept the album you left in the old flat.

And also stuff about the boys. John's kid was a cute, quiet boy, just like his dad, and he didn't enjoy any of Roger's songs when he went to rehearsals. Veronica was pregnant with another baby - Roger's pretty sure it's a girl. Brian was still thinking about finishing his PhD, but never got around doing it - his schedule is too crazy. Freddie was growing tired of the long hair and clean face, and kept thinking about changing his looks, but couldn't decide on what he would do. He told you that ever since Freddie and Mary broke up, he started seeing more guys - none of you thought much about it. It was just another aspect of Freddie's life.

Roger kept writing songs now, even when they were on tour or at home. He was getting annoyed at the "No Synths" rule in the band, and tried to convince them to drop it. But he was happy with the new album - he enjoyed how they simplified the process of writing it, and thought mostly about writing songs they can play live the same way they play it in studio. The last time they did it was in their first album.

You just kept looking up at him, his defined jaw glowing against the sun, his bright blue eyes looking down at you to watch your reaction, your grin once he told you he finally finished writing Sheer Heart Attack, a song he tried to get done and in an album ever since 1974.

And now the immigration officer called you, and you laughed as you watched Roger try to speak french to the guy before taking the matter into your own hands.

And when he asked you what was your relationship with him, you just smiled and said "mon copain".

You knew Roger chose the hotel as you packed in London, sitting between all the boxes so he could use your phone. You didn't pay attention to which hotel he picked, but once you got to the Champs-Élysées, you knew he spent too much money.

You got off the cab at the Four Seasons George V Hotel, a building that was basically a modern castle, and you stared at him, shocked. "Roger, you didn't do this", you told him, your eyes wide as you entered the spacious and luxurious lobby, your luggage already being taken to your room as the lady on front desk recognized Roger. "Did what?", he asked jokingly, raising his brow at you, even though he knew what you meant. "This hotel. It's too nice and probably a fortune", you told him, and he shrugged. "Hey, we deserve it. We always did. But now we can afford it", he winked, and then took the room keys from the front desk.

"C'mon, I want to see how you're going to react to the Penthouse Suite", he laughed, and you coughed. "Um, I'm sorry? The what now?", you asked, and he playfully pulled you into the elevator.

He kept looking at you the whole lift ride, excited and nervous - he wanted you to like it, to enjoy his efforts, to take him back into your life somehow.

When he opened the door and walked to the side, his old genuine smile was back on his lips, and you couldn't help but smile back, even before taking a glimpse into the room.

And what you saw surprised you - everything looked expensive, but still comfortable. You first entered a huge living room, and every couch looked comfortable enough to sleep in. Then you walked to the bedroom, and the huge bed caught your eye - it was big enough to fit comfortably at least five of you. The bathroom looked like a spa, a huge bathtub in the middle of it, a delicate statue of a woman under the window that overlooked the Champs-Élysées.

You walked to the balcony with Roger beside you, and he laughed when you gasped.

The Eiffel Tower looked back at you, glimmering at the sunset.

You looked at Roger.

"You're unbelievable, you know."

He smirked. "I'm just trying to get you in bed, though", he told you, and you laughed as you walked closer to him.

"You did that when you didn't have a penny, Rog. You don't have to get us a huge suite with artwork everywhere and a view of the Eiffel Tower", you said, bringing him closer to you by his collar as he snaked his arms around your waist.

"I never have to do anything. I do it because I want to. Because I love you", he whispered, his breath against your lips, teasing, feeling like the ghost of a touch.

"I love you, Roger", you told him, moving your hands to the back of his neck and pulling him in for a kiss.

You held his hand as the cool wind passed through your bodies. It was the next day, and you've decided to walk to the Louvre by the side of the Seine.

It would be faster if you got on a cab, but the view of the Seine, the sounds of the city and the smell of pastries and perfume made everything feel even more like a dream. You were still tired from last night, and the night before it - you and Roger were acting like a couple in honeymoon ever since you met again, stolen kisses and arms wrapped around each other, trying to make up for the lack of touch in the last couple years.

And once you were alone, you'd hug and touch and kiss and fuck passionately wherever - sloppy kisses and love bites all over each other, first in London and now here. It didn't feel like you were together again for only about 36 hours - so much has happened, yet time passed by so fast. It was like you lost touch with reality ever since you looked at his hands on the pub.

When you thought of being alone in New York, it felt like a past life. But the weird thing was how your first years with Roger also felt like another life - you wouldn't act the way you did again, ever. But you were grateful for both times of your life. You felt like you could never get here, to Paris and to Roger, if those things didn't happen.

You got to the Louvre and you were surprised at Roger's interest - he wasn't simply acting interested while trying to get you to leave somewhere else with him. He was genuinely interested in the art, commenting about each style and dropping trivia about artists.

"Someone has been spending some time with Freddie, I suppose", you noted, and he gave you a half smile. "Well, the person responsible for bringing culture into my days spend some time away. I had to look for substitutes", he said, and you jokingly nudged at him.

He still looked at you adoringly once you started talking to him about the excellent state of conservation the mummy was in, or once you started analysing "L’Européenne".

You both kept quiet as you watched the Mona Lisa, only holding hands as you tried to get closer to the painting, dozens of visitors separating you from it. It was a time for reflection, too. The Mona Lisa invited you to think about yourselves, her neutral expression making you wonder - seeing it was one of your life long goals, and now you're realizing it with Roger. Being with Roger was something else you struggled to achieve, ever since the first time you saw him. But now it was the time to realize dreams - hell, you'll start working at the British Museum in a few days.

But you got distracted as soon as you got to the Venus de Milo. Roger snaked his arms around your waist from behind you and pressed a slow kiss under your lobe before whispering "You look just like her".

You felt a goosebump on your neck, but you tried to laugh it off. "I can think of a few things we don't have in common, though", you said, and he rubbed his nose on the curve of your neck. "Like what?", he whispered.

"I'm gonna start the list with the basics: arms", you told him, and he laughed against your skin. "I can think of a few other things, too", he tells you, back at kissing your neck. "Yeah? Like what?", you asked, and he sucks on your skin for a few moments, hitching your breath. "Your skin is softer", he says, and then lightly bites you, running his tongue over it to sooth it. "And you taste amazing. Everywhere", he whispers again, and you bite your lips as you feel another goosebump on your neck, and it didn't go unnoticed by Roger. "And the way you react to me”, he whispered, wetting his lips. "God, it kills me", he said, running his fingers over the area where the goosebump was.

It was a public place, but it didn't cross your mind when you turned around and pulled him in for a kiss, making it deeper as your tongue massaged Roger’s. His fingers brushed over your exposed skin, and you could feel how strong his grip on your waist was, wrinkling the fabric of your summer dress - probably inappropriate. You pulled him even closer to you by his hair, already used to its new length after two nights. It was only when you broke apart to recover your breath that you noticed how you were making out in a public place, and only because Roger told you.

"I know we're in public and I'm trying to be more discrete now, but all this artwork just made you look even more beautiful, like you belong around them. I just couldn't hold myself any longer", he said.

The warm water ran through your fingers as you filled the bathtub, only in your robe, as Roger spoke with the concierge on the bedroom. He told you he was getting champagne, but you didn't see why the concierge would go to the bedroom for it. Anyways, you wanted a warm bath.

After the Venus, you and Roger had a hard time keeping your hands away from each other. So you didn’t argue when he suggested you take a cab to the hotel.

The cabbie was an older man with a very rosy skin, and he barely knew how to speak english, but he sure tried - specially with Roger. You were suspecting he knew who Roger is, and Roger apparently thought the same, an amused look on his face as the driver tried to continue the conversation with him.

He was looking amused for another reason, too. His hands took his time on your legs, his long fingers brushing over your inner thighs, making you press them together as you tried to control your breathing. Roger kept talking to the driver as he slowly moved his fingers closer to you again, and you bit your lips to hold a moan when he pressed two fingers against your core.

You were already wet from all the teasing, and it goes through the lace of your lingerie, wetting Roger’s digits. He took his fingers away from you, and you frown as he rubs his two fingers against his thumb, smirking at you.

Then the driver asks him something and he turns to answer, putting his hand on your knees and then quickly sliding them up, moving them to your core again, massaging your clit for a few seconds. He looks at you so he can see your reaction, and you can hear the driver’s voice as you grip on Roger’s arm so he keeps touching you, pressing your lips together to keep quiet.

He keeps smirking as the conversation with the driver goes on, and you decide you can tease him, too. You move your hand from his arm to his leg, and he moves his gaze back into yours as you move your hand slowly to his inner thigh. His eyes get wider once you run your finger over his length, his cock already getting hard and visible through his always tight pants. The driver called his name so he answers another question, and you wrap your hand around him through the fabric of his trousers.

His breathing audibly hitches and he tries to be discrete by making it into a cough. He answers the driver and then looks at you, but you’re looking forward, innocently. He smirks again and then pulls your lingerie to the side, and, without more teasing, puts his two fingers inside of you. You gasp, and the driver looks at you suspiciously as Roger starts pumping his fingers inside of you.

But then the car stops in front of the hotel.

You take your hand away from Roger and he does the same, feeling like two children who got caught with your hands inside the cookie jar. Roger pulls out his wallet from his pocket so he can pay the cabbie, his fingers still glistening as he holds the leather wallet.

You then walk to your room without saying anything until you close the door. “So, that guy was pretty close to figuring out our little teasing game, huh”, he said, unbuttoning his shirt. “I was pretty close, too”, you said, winking, and he smirked. “I guess you want to go back to where we were before getting interrupted?” he raised his brow.

But you wanted to tease him a bit more. So you nodded a no. “Actually, Rog, I think I want to take a warm bath”, you came closer to him, wrapping your fingers on the back of his neck. “That’s a really good idea, in fact”, he said, and started undoing his belt. But you held his hand in place. “But you won’t join me”, you said, and he pouted in protest. “Not until you get me some champagne. I thought you were gonna be romantic before luring me into bed, Taylor”, you said, and he laughed. You let go of him and turn around.

“Can you unzip me, please?”, you ask, and you can hear him scoff, annoyed at your teasing, but then you feel him slowly unzipping your summer dress, then moving his hands to your shoulders as he slides your dress down.

You're not wearing a bra, so you can feel the cold wind from the AC on your hard nipples, getting even harder as you felt his lips on your neck once again, his hands pulling your dress down at your hips before it falls to the ground.

Then you move away from Roger’s grasp as you walk to the bathroom, without looking back at him, and you can feel his eyes on you as he watches your hips sway as you walk, only in your burgundy lace panties, your hair cascading on your back.

And now you’re inside the bathtub already, feeling the smell of roses and cinnamon from the bath salts you used, waiting for Roger. You hear the door close, and the concierge is gone.

“Rog? I’m waiting for you”, you say out loud, waiting for his answers. “Actually, I think I’m not in the mood for a bath. But your champagne is here”, he says, and you can hear a fake tiredness in his voice.

“Are you sure you’re gonna leave me here, alone, in this bathtub? I’m gonna have to do something to let the time pass, you know. And you’re gonna hear me do it without doing anything about it?”, you asked with an affected voice. You haven’t teased him in so long, you forgot how fun it was, especially cause he always teased you back.

“As tempting as your bathroom plans sound, I’m also alone here, you know. And your champagne is here. Can’t believe you’re gonna waste it after I got it just for you”, he said, and you laughed. You got up from the bathtub and barely dried yourself on a towel before putting your robe back on and walking to the bedroom.

Roger was sitting against the bed’s headrest, completely naked and rock hard. You moved your hand to your lips and you let out a sigh at the vision. He looked like a greek god - Apollo, maybe, with his golden locks shining against the afternoon sun, his skin glowing under the golden hour lights coming through the window. The bed was filled with red rose petals under him, the smell filling your lungs.

He opened his eyes when he heard your sigh, and he smirked at you. “Get the champagne and come here already”, he said, pointing his head at the table where a Dom Pérignon bottle sat on an ice bucket, and you did so. You climbed on top of the bed and started moving towards him. “Are you suggesting we play with food, Mr Taylor?”, you asked, and he nodded. “Give it to me and I’ll show you”, he told you, and you gave it to him as you sat on his thighs.

He popped the bottle open and some of the liquid poured over the edges. He licked it, looking at you, before undoing your robe with his free hand. He pulled it to the sides, looking at you with admiration as if he was unwrapping a Christmas gift.

You took the robe off and threw it to the side, and his free hand moved to the back of your neck and pulled you in for a kiss. It was a slow, delicate kiss, where Roger tried showing you love, admiration, respect. Not only how much he wants you, but how much he cares about you.

But you pulled him closer to you, moving closer to him, and your bare breasts touched his naked torso, making the two of you moan.

That gave a new sense of urgency to the kiss, and after a few seconds, Roger broke it apart. “Tell me if you want me to stop”, he told you, and you nodded. He poured a bit of champagne above your collarbone, the cold liquid making you shiver, and then Roger’s tongue licked it, warm and wet.

He looked up at you to make sure you liked it, and you gave him a quick nod. He smirked, then poured champagne on your other collar bone, and licked it off again.

As you seemed to like it, he poured champagne between your breasts, licking it off right after and waiting a few seconds to see if you’d protest. He then finally poured a bit of champagne on one of your breasts, right above the nipple, licking you and the drink.

He kept doing it for a while, sucking on your skin that tasted like champagne and cinnamon, the smell of roses intoxicating him.

You broke away from his touch, and he looked at you, confused. “Can I try it?”, you asked, and he nodded, passing you the champagne bottle.

You started above his collarbone, and you could feel him moving under you. You wondered how much he would be able to wait before fucking you, considering he was already hard before you licked champagne off of him.

Once you poured champagne over his chest, you didn’t lick fast enough, and a drop of champagne rolled down on his torso. You leaned in to lick it right before it fell to his pelvis, mere inches away from his cock.

The feeling of your tongue close to his length did it for him - he had to have you, right now. He gripped your hips and motioned them up, and you understood what he wanted, so you got on your knees and stood right above him as he positioned himself on your entrance.

You slowly moved down, feeling him filling you, and you let your head move back as you moan in pleasure, your moan intensifying as you heard Roger’s voice whispering your name.

You started riding him slowly, small moans leaving your lips every time you felt him bottoming out inside of you, but you wanted him to go deeper.

So you got off of him, and he grunted, frowning at you as he saw you on your knees in bed. But once you leaned forward, putting your weight on your elbows, he smirked. “I want to feel you deeper”, you told him.

He moved to your back, spreading your legs a little more so he had better access to you, and you both cursed under your breath as he got inside you again slowly, so you could get used to his size on this new position, his grip on your ass getting stronger once he was completely inside you again.

You moaned his name, and he moved his hands to your waist so he could move inside of you with more control.

He developed a rhythm after a few moments, and all you could hear was the sound of your skin on his and the moaning (and cursing) coming from his lips and yours, too. You could feel yourself closer to your orgasm.

It wasn’t long before you reached your high, crying his name as you pulled the duvet into your fists.

Roger kept thrusting through your high, but once he noticed you were done, he pulled out. "Can you turn?", he asked, and without much thought, you turned over and layed down, wrapping your legs around his hips.

He gave you a tired smile and then got inside you again, thrusting. "I like to look at you", he told you, closing his eyes, focusing on his movements. He was like that for a few seconds, and you could see the beads of sweat forming on his face, his blonde locks glueing themselves to his forehead.

As his movements got more intense, you could see he was close. "Y/N? Can I pull out?", he asked, and you nodded a yes. He liked to do that sometimes, when you could get messy, but it has been so long you nearly forgot.

So he pulled out and his cum fell on your torso, covering your breasts and stomach. He fell to your side and stayed there for a few moments, before opening his eyes and looking at your torso. "Sorry for the mess", he said, getting up and going to the bathroom. You smiled when you heard the sink open, and your smile got wider as Roger appeared with a warm cloth on your hands.

"I guess this helps", he shrugged, wiping his cum from your torso carefully. Once he cleaned most of it, he giggled. "Maybe a bath is not a bad idea, after all. Will you join me?", he asked, offering you a hand.

---

Chapter 21

Masterlist

Taglist:

@taylorroger-s @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @its-nessi @anamcg317 @frenchieswiftie @queen-danielle-dani-dan @minihemo @shutup-sorry @theyrealllegends @killerqueenisthebest @ashagracelove @hardy-s @fuckinghurricanesoul @secretsweetscollectionblog @mrswinterhater @11mb0 @tamtam-go92 @derptatosaur @brianandthemays @phantom-fangirl-stuff @the-hysterical-queen @rogerofmylife @notevenlxvely @discodeakyy @x1975sos @16wiishes @jennycidesstuff @partydulce @melros-e @onevisionliz

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blankdblank · 5 years

Text

My Pearl Pt 5

Pt 1 - Pt 2 - Pt 3 - Pt 4 -

Tags –

@himoverflowers, @theincaprincess, @aspiringtranslator, @sweeticedtea, @ggbbhehe4455, @thegreyberet, @patanghill17, @jesgisborne, @curvestrology, @alishlieb, @jogregor, @armitageadoration, @fizzyxcustard, @here2have-fun, @lilith15000, @marvels-ghost, @catthefearless, @imjusthereforthereads, @abiwim, @jotink78, @c-s-stars, @evyiione, @deepestfirefun, @queenoferebor, @here2have-fun, @onewithleaf

…

All around you in the kitchen after you washed your hands you stepped to the bare station feeling all the free Durins peering at what you were doing. The apples Fili had prepeeled for you were claimed in your hands as a caramel sauce was started. Easily you diced and added the apples into the mixture while Thorin followed your instructions on the dough you guided him through how to kneed and stretch it properly before you spooned some of the mixture into the center before you tucked it into a ball and added them into muffin tins you added into the oven. The remaining bit was hastily tasted and passed around by the cooks around you all wondering how the strange mixture of ingredients could taste.

Growls sounded from the stomachs of the chefs around you when your dessert was taken out of the oven and carefully plated in a small bowl you coated with barely a sprinkle of sugar then handed over. The simple appearance of the dough puff made you roll your eyes at the questioning glance before you mumbled to Thorin, “Is everything I prepare going to get that look?”

With a smirking glance at you he caught Dis’ eye saying, “It’s finished.”

With another glance at it she turned and carried it out to the table as Frerin claimed an extra fork and stole a bite of one of the extra puffs and let out a pleased hum after adding the sugar himself. Each of the Dwarves around you sectioned it off and enjoyed the remaining puffs, leaving the last for Dis who smirked at you and said, “You should have a list of desserts we add in through the week.”

Your lips parted as she turned to share the thought with her Mother who was watching the customer through the window in the doorway and signing back their response with a growing grin. In a glance up at your right Thorin caught your eye smirking as he told you, “A well deserved chance to keep your practice up.”

After a nod you turned and helped Thorin put out the next set as more of the tables had caught a whiff of the desserts. By the hours end you had made four more helpings and passed the recipe on to Diaa before you joined Thorin to head back home again when she reminded him of your need for rest. In the car again Thorin stole another smirk at you asking, “So, lunch and a movie still?”

You nodded, “Sounds good.”

He smirked and started the drive back again then asked, “Amad reminded me of your saying you couldn’t work tomorrow?”

You nodded again, “I have an appointment.”

He glanced at you, “Something serious?”

You shook your head, “Just a usual yearly check up.”

He nodded, “Did you want me to get Frerin to take my shift again so I can take you?”

You shook your head, “I don’t think the stirrups and paper gown will be more enjoyable with an audience.”

“Oh, your women’s check up.”

You nodded, “Plus the extra enjoyable mammogram.” He glanced at you, “They take the breasts and squeeze them between two plastic plates to get the image.”

“I can make sure they are more gentle if you wish.”

“Gentle doesn’t get the images they need.” Making him sigh, “Thank you though.”

He smiled at you when your hand and head rested against his arm.

Back at the house you both eyed the now washed clothes that were resting across the island in your closet beside the stack of shoe boxes you walked to and eyed the empty closet. Reaching out you grabbed the first shirt and added them to the rack above your worn shirts as Thorin added your jeans to the cubbies to the left of them you asked him to add them to. After, you hung the dresses to the rack on the left of those without anything under it allowing them to hang freely. With a smirk Thorin turned and opened the first box of shoes and passed you the pair you set up on the racks before he grinned larger at the lingerie carefully placed in a basket on the island you moved to at Thorin’s not so subtle smirk eyeing his choices.

Each of which you tried on for him with the final pair being stripped off you on his path to your bed where he spent hours seeing to your pleasure and comfort. With yet another meal in bed from him in the middle, he scrolled on his phone through a few ideas for the fur wrap he wanted for you, asking for your opinion on them. With his choice selected and ordered it was now a waiting game leaving his phone on the night table to roll you over for another round at your teasing nips at his ear, ending with him wrapping you in his arms when you dozed off again.

Morning came with a shared shower and your pulling on your clothes with Thorin wrapped in a towel for the walk to his closet to get ready himself as you pulled on a pair of your new jeans and a t shirt. Finally you added your sneakers and pulled your hair back into a high ponytail on your path to join Thorin in prepping the breakfast Fili and Kili arrived for once again seeking another ride. A gentle peck later you split up for the morning with Thorin hoping you could make it to the Stone for lunch at least, should it go quickly for you.

Lunch came and went and as Frerin arrived for his shift Thorin drew his phone from his pocket dialing your number. Under furrowed brows he listened through Dwalin and his Nephews gathering around him curiously to the sound of cars whizzing by as you managed to fumble your phone open and shouldered it as you tightened the bolt you were working on, “Hey Thorin.”

“Where are you?”

“Um, over by Atlan square. Had to stop in at a car shop, damn brakes gave out.”

His lips parted as his stomach dropped before his blurted out inquiry making the entire kitchen freeze for a moment, “Are you alright?!”

“Ya.” A thunk was heard and you mumbled, “Damnit.”

“What is that sound?”

“Hm? Oh I’m putting my tire back on, just have one more to go.”

“You’re fixing your brakes?!” Without giving you a chance to answer he asked for your location precisely and headed to his car with Dwalin and the boys in tow and Fili now chatting with you assuring you were safe until they arrived.

The empty parking lot came into view with you parked across from the car shop that the mechanics were watching with arms crossed commenting on your ease at the task and especially the car pulling up beside you making them flinch back inside pretending to have not been aware of your place there at Thorin’s tensed rush to your side. On a jack your Jeep was resting as you finished adding the final pad and turned to reach for your tire after setting down your tool into the well used tool box beside you. Curiously he eyed the spread of tools and the oil coated rag you’d used to wipe off your hands beside a bottle of water and a blue bottle of soap for scrubbing off oils and grease while he asked, “Please explain this to me. You’re not even a hundred feet from the mechanic’s shop!”

Wetting your lips you stood and said, “Ok, I know there’s rules but I’m not going to have anyone just look at me and assume I’m a clueless wallet on legs. I spent fifty years working in body shops through my training courses and internships. I pulled in and those assholes wanted to charge me $3000 for a simple brake pad and rotor swap!”

Kili rubbed his neck, as Fili simply looked at your jeep trying to imagine what it actually cost as Thorin replied, “You have the card I gave you?”

You met his eyes, “Thorin, the parts are only $400-500 at the most for an hours job. I might not seem like much but they eyed the car spotted my earrings and smirked hiking the price that high! Just because I’m supposed to be taken care of doesn’t mean I’m going to allow anyone to abuse that or your generosity by assuming I’m an idiot. It’s a simple job, all I have to do now is put the tire back on and pump the brakes and I’m good to go. If it was something more serious I would have argued with them but it’s just a simple swap I can do in my sleep. Besides, I know a couple guys that’ll take the old scraps for a couple hundred.”

Unable to help it he smiled at you proudly as Dwalin glared at the men peeking out from the shop at the group through Thorin’s rolling the tire closer to you as he rumbled, “Next time please call at least before you start taking apart your car so we can keep watch.”

With a soft victorious giggle you knelt grabbing the tire and raising it, revealing the formerly relaxed muscles in your arms flexing, revealing the dips between the easily missed layer of protection you had making the task look as strenuous as lifting a pen from a table. Easily the lug nuts were added and tightened by hand before you lowered the jeep and finished it with the tire iron asking “Who wants to pump the brakes for me?”

Fili hastily raced around climbing inside grinning at his brother, who was just a bit too slow to miss out on helping. A few presses later you closed your tool box and carried it back to your trunk, with Dwalin adding the soap and water bottles. On your left however Thorin raised your sleeve checking what he hoped he hadn’t seen. The large thumb sized bruise drew a growling question from him, “Did they do this?!”

You peered at your arm then looked up at him shaking your head, “I had to get a shot.”

He raised a brow and Fili stated, “But it’s huge!”

You nodded, “It was a big needle.”

Thorin lowered his voice to a comforting tone, “What sort of shot would leave a bruise this big?”

After a glance at the boys you met his eye with a sigh, “It’s for my birth control.”

Kili’s brows furrowed as he asked, “Don’t they have pills for that?”

You nodded again slowly, “They made me really sick, I tried a couple.” You looked up at Thorin again, “It’s only four times a year.”

Looking you over he took in the irritation of the simple fact the process left such a mark on you but relented, understanding that it was what you and your Doctor had chosen as the best option for you. “How did it all go?”

“As well as it can, I suppose. Should get the call about the scans tomorrow.”

Kili peeked around the jeep as you closed the trunk, “Scans?”

“Just a mammogram.” Making his lips part, “It’s an annual thing, just, the full check up.”

He nodded and Thorin smiled passing him your keys as he gently nudged you to his car, saying, “Let’s get you home.”

The boys followed Thorin’s car while Dwalin shared about their shift from the back seat, only to ask after a glance at you, “Are you sore?” You turned your head to meet his eye, “Dis’ mentioned it before, being sore after.”

You nodded, “Bath usually helps.”

After a stop at Dwalin’s you were parked in the driveway of Thorin’s and accepted your keys and hugs from the boys before they took the short walk home again leaving you to be curled under Thorin’s arm for the walk inside. Through the doors Thorin watched you remove your shoes and walk to your house as he followed after, physically hurting at your seemingly sunken mood. “Is there anything I can do?”

In a glance back at him you replied with a tired smile, “I think just a bath, and, could we watch a movie after?”

Thorin nodded, “There is a tv in my bathroom if you wanted to use mine.”

“I’ll grab some clothes.”

Turning from you he went to his bath starting to fill the tub and switch on one of your favorite films just as you entered the room spotting his towel and film he’d set up for you with a soft smile. Wetting his lips he said, “I’m going to make us something to eat.”

“You don’t have to.”

He smiled at you, moving to be closer to you and brushed your bangs behind your ear, “You don’t have to eat, but still, I’m going to make us something.” You nodded and watched him leave the room. Turning around you stripped and lowered into the hot water easing your sore body adjusting to the pokes and prods and uncomfortable spreader you tried to forget by focusing on the opening credits.

With a plate of snacks in hand Thorin entered again and sat beside the tub leaning against the edge resting his arm on it and faced the film. Through it he kept glancing over you eyeing your sinking demeanor, “Was it the plastic thing?” You looked at him, “Dis said the plastic thing is the worst part.”

“It’s tolerable. I’m really ok.” His eyes scanned over your face, “I just get, I feel like I’m sinking after I get the shot. It goes away by morning, just all the hormones at once. I didn’t know if I should say it in front of the others, cause an uproar, and bring all the clan over at once.”

Gently he brushed a stray wet strand of curls back around your high bun with an adoring smile, “Anything else I can do?”

Wetting your lips you asked, “Could I sleep with you tonight?”

His hand moved to stroke your cheek sweetly, “Of course My Dearest Pearl, any time you wish.” Focusing on the film again after a weak smile you shared the snacks then climbed out dried off and pulled on your tank top and shorts over one of the more comfortable pair of lingerie Thorin had bought you. As Thorin tossed the wet towel into his hamper he drained the tub and shut off the tv and led you into his bedroom. Your former spot on his right was swapped for his right due to your bruised arm. Snuggly he curled you against his side planting a kiss on your forehead as you mumbled, “Just a warning I might fall asleep.” As he switched the film on in this room making his smile grow back.

“When you do I’ll hold you tighter. Get as much sleep as you wish My Dearest.” Planting another kiss on your forehead.

Slowly as the film played on you wrapped around him tighter making him hold you tighter in return, forcing back his tears at his inability to help you through this in any other way until he was on his side tangled with you completely and finally fell asleep himself after a long slew of Khuzdul sentiments muffled in your hair between his gentle pecks.

Pt 6

#Thorin x Reader OC #Hobbit #lotr

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callingitaday · 6 years

Text

Terrors

Bucky x Reader WC:1869 Breathe by Fleurie

I remember being the new person here, not that it was horrible but it was awkward. No one knows how to act. They don't know or trust you but you feel the same. Both don't know what could set another off, how to speak without a soft voice afraid of what could come next. It just a huge fucked up guessing game. The worst part is the new comer doesn't want to be treated like they could break any moment, but no matter what you say it still happens for a while. It's no one's fault.

You were here for a good 6 months before everything settled and everyone was normal. Laughing, teasing and just having a good time in general. No more tiptoeing around our own home. Over this time you and Steve have grown close, he is the big brother you'd never had. He was always there for you when you needed someone to talk to no matter the time or place. He was also so kind and gentle to you, making sure you had what you needed and everything in between. On nights the terrors would come they would eventually lead me to wake up in a cold sweat and tears or Steve waking me up reassuring everything was okay. You were forever in his debt. But things changed when Bucky showed up, Steve's oldest friend from the war . From before being a popsicle. He was stressed about Bucky, if we would except him and not treat him like the monster HYDRA created but lost.

Not that your upset about anything because Bucky needed him more than I do but it's still hard knowing when I have my terrors- I have them alone now. You were the next room over from Barns and he has some really bad ones and Steve helps him through it and he deserves nothing less. You now sit in the dark kitchen with cups of water to calm you. Now and then he would come scuffing into the kitchen for water. Like water was some magic healing shit for them. He was looking at you for a split second before continuing then leave.

Everyone pretty much kept to themselves trying to avoid him altogether . Especially Tony, he was just a ass to him and Steve. Saying that he still is the Winter Solider deep down and one day he might return and not be in our favor and all in all just wouldn't expect him even though he's tried to gain his trust. You understood how he felt in your own way and didn't tiptoe around him, you hated it and theres no doubt he feels even worst.

I know I enjoyed when someone patted me on the back or gave me a hug, I hadn't had in such a long time I almost forgot what it felt like. So when I get the chance ,walking past him I would drag my hand across his back, pat his shoulder and shoot smiles every time he looked at me.

You may have falling a little bit for this super soldier. But like every day you just keep to yourself.

Tonight's agenda was no different than usual, waking up in cold sweat and tears. Before heading to the kitchen you decided to jump in the shower and rinse of the memories of the night and craved your magic drink. Sitting there in the dark humming some tone you listen early that you have stuck in your head. It was when you refill for the 3rd time that you finally hear him. Its only feet padding the floor but you know its him. He enters with a quick glance. Just watching his back as he fills up his cup, you can see his how tight his muscles are even through his shirt, he's so stiff it looks painful.

" hey, buck?" you said just above a whisper. It was so quite in the house if you spoke any louder you might even scare yourself. Barns turned around and leaned against the sink, squinting at you before taking a drink. you shrugged your shoulders "care to join me this time?" without an answer he just steps over and takes a seat next to you. He set his water down and hung his head low letting out a deep sigh.

" I have them too you know" he looked up at you " the night terrors, Steve use to help me with them " you gave him a smile . " I know you'd probably rather talk to Steve but I'm here, for you, if you want to talk.... well since I get them too I understand. I mean I don't understand yours but like I get the feelings and what makes me feel better, maybe they could help you?"

Bucky was just looking at you, really intrigued with your words. He was studying your face to the point he had not heard anything after this point. He was looking at your lips, the way they moves when you spoke. The way your eyes widened, squinted and wondered around like you couldn't decided what you could look at. You were memorizing.

"... I'm sorry I just, I just thought I'd let you know I have them and I'm here for you" you finally finished your rant, all the while . Looking at Bucky but he wasn't quite with you.

"Thanks, doll" he spoke making you smile which he reflects.

You guys stayed there for a while longer until you felt sleepy but instead of leaving you took a chance and laid your head on Bucky's shoulder feeling him tense at the touch, lifting your head back up "no stay" he whispered but you got up and set your cup in the sink. Turning around you held out your hand "okay, come?" he looked bewildered at the motion but took your hand anyways, grabbing your hand, following you in a trance.

Making it to your bedroom was quite and slow, opening the door stepping in and aside for Buck to enter before closing it. " Steve would always lay with me until I fell asleep, the present of a person always helps me, an anchor to the real world so to say" you stated while crawling into bed. He looked scared and very unsure about what was happening . " it's okay Bucky, let me be your anchor tonight" you pulled the covers back and with a sigh he crawled in. Bucky laid on his back and I laid on my side, carefully I placed my arm across his stomach. I could feel his stomach clench but I dare not move.

The sunlight was peeking through your blinds right in your face making you grown in annoyance. A chill ran through the room making you pull the covers up. Just laying in the silence for a few minutes until you realize it's to quite. Twisting just enough to look behind you, sadden to see no one's there. Grabbing your phone you realize it late in the morning with it being almost 10, decided to get up and get ready. Throwing on some makeup so we don't look so dead and some Nike legging with white strip up the side, a light sweater paired with running shoes. Satisfied you head downstairs for breakfast and coffee.

"morning sweets" Steve shot over his shoulder which you responded with a' morning' and hug from behind " Have any plans today Cap?" grabbing the eggs and bacon.

" Well I may take Buck out on the town and if I remember right before Wanda left she said she wanted a move night with everyone later" Steve responded as he turned around and asked you the same

" I might actually go out to, I could use some new jeans and some other things but a movie night sounds fun!" you responded while watching your eggs

" Well see you later Y/N" Steve began to rush out "HEY! get back here"

"Yes?"

" What's going on with you" " Nothing. Nothing why"

"you never just quit conversation and rush out. And your being awkward " you snorted

" nothing really, I swear everything good"

"Fine be that way. But before you run away where's Barns" making him cough "umm, I don't know, gym" he shot back.

Sighing in confusion you finish up your breakfast. Quickly washing your plate off you realize your still feeling a bit hungry you decided to make a beagle

On your way down to the gym while snacking on the beagle, stopping at the wall of photos almost like studying them. It was all of our group photos of exploring, some singles of like Steve n Bucky, Natasha n Bruce and one lucky one of you n Bucky. Until now you hadn't realized the way he was looking at you. Like I dare say loves you more than anything else. Makes you wonder doesn't it?

Your feet finally started to drag you to the destination but they planted like stones just outside the door, completely frozen as you hear Steve tell who I assume is Barns that he should just give in, take a chance, he deserves some good in his life and " She's good for you Buck, I see the way she's been looking at you lately. Like a light bulb lit up and reality hit her" you peek through the door.

"But Steve what if it's not what you think? I'm really liking the idea of her being mine but I'm scared" Bucky practically cried out.

"Everything will work out okay? have some faith, and really the only way to find out is to talk to her" Steve finished before patting his shoulder and headed to the door.

"shit shit shit " you murmured running around the corner and peeked around the edge until the cost was clear. Slowly and as casually as possible walking into the room, towards him who had started on the punching bag.

"Hey Buck?" you said just loud enough, but he still jolts, his actions stopping and grabbing the bag.

"H-hey" he breathed

" I just wanted to check on you, did last night help?" you smiles a little

"Um ya actually, I slept well. Thank you, it means a lot"

"Okay ya good I'm glad, before i leave are you planning on attending Wanda's movie night?

" are you?" you nodded a yes " than ya I'll show my face " causing you to smile, nodding your head and turned to leave. This time not only did your feet stop you but your whole body . Slowly spinning on your heals you look back , he's still looking at you.

You walked up, pausing to look at his face, he's scrunching his eyebrows together but continuing , engulfing him in a huge hug. Bucky was beyond shocked but quickly hugged back. It was the best feeling he's had run through his vein's in such a long time. He squeezed you harder now becoming addicted to the rush before kissing your head, then you pulled away.

"what was that for" he questions "because" is all you answer with, " see you tonight James!" you kissed his check and ran out to go get ready

"Maybe everything will work out " Bucky muttered before starting back up.

Tag list : @dugupbeauty @leslie2898 @sophiealiice @xpixelle

Part 2??

#Bucky Barnes #winter solider imagine #bucky x reader #bucky imagine #marvel imagine #marvel #Sebastian Stan #james bucky barnes #captain america #Chris Evans

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brotherzachariah · 7 years

Note

"#the last hours #not gonna lie #i want nothing to do with this series if matthew and james aren't canon" really? wtf?

yes, i said it.

first of all, james and matthew are very gay/bi/pan-coded in nothing but shadows, the book from shadowhunter academy where they meet and basically follow the classic enemies to friends to lovers trope that we all love so much. there are so many quotes that made myself as well as my best friend (we are obsessed with this otp together) believe that james and matthew were into each other in a non-straight/bro way. here are a few:

“That was when Matthew Fairchild said, “Sir,” and smiled.

James had forgotten about The Smile, even though it was often broken out to great effect at family parties. The Smile won Matthew extra time before bed, extra Christmas pudding, extra anything he wanted. Adults were helpless to resist The Smile.

Matthew gave his all to this particular smile. Butter melted. Birds sang. People slipped about dazed amid the butter and birdsong.”

okay sorry but does one really wax that fucking poetic about some guy they’re not attracted to? no.

then later, to further prove this point:

“Matthew glanced at him and smiled: it was The Smile, gradual and illuminating as sunrise, and James had the sinking feeling that he might not be immune after all.”

ha. not immune to The Smile. james refers to matthew’s smile as a proper fucking noun. that’s not gay at all, folks. also, referring to your bro’s smile as being akin to the sun, just bros being bros.

“I was jealous of you first. I was jealous of everything about you, and I still am.”

“Wait,” said Matthew. “Wait, wait, wait. You don’t like me because I am so very charming?”

He threw his head back and laughed. He kept laughing. He laughed so much that he had to come and sit beside James on the step, and then he laughed some more.

“Stop it, Matthew,” James grumbled. “Stop laughing. I am sharing my innermost feelings with you. This is very hurtful.”

“I’ve been in a bad mood this whole time,” said Matthew. “You think I’m charming now? You have no idea.”

James punched him in the arm. He could not help smiling. He saw Matthew noticing, and looking very pleased with himself.”

THIS IS GAY.

“He found Matthew looking at him. Matthew had known, all the time, exactly where he was.

“Jamie,” Matthew said, sounding unsettled but impressed. “That was terrifying.”

“It’s James, for the last time,” said James.

“No, I’m calling you Jamie for a little while, because you just displayed arcane power and calling you Jamie makes me feel better.”

James laughed, shakily, and that made Matthew smile. It did not occur to them until later that a student was dead, and the Shadowhunters feared and distrusted the demonic—that somebody would be blamed. James did not discover until the next day that his parents had been informed of everything that had transpired, and that he, James Herondale, was now officially expelled.”

to quote my best friend and roommate “when ur gonna be expelled but it’s chill bc ur crush smiled at u”

“Father, please,” James said in a quiet voice.

“Mr. Herondale, please!” said Matthew. “We cannot be parted.” James braced himself for the explanation about truth and beauty, but instead Matthew said, with devastating simplicity: “We are going to be parabatai.”

James stared.

Father said: “Oh, I see.”

Matthew nodded encouragingly, and smiled encouragingly.

“Then nobody should come between you,” said Father.

“Nobody.” Matthew shook his head as he said “nobody,” then nodded again. He looked seraphic. “Exactly.”

HMM INTERESTING. CAN’T BE SEPARATED FROM EACH OTHER. BUT DIDN’T ACTUALLY PLAN ON BECOMING PARABATAI, DID IT ON A WHIM. SOUND FAMILIAR? YEAH ITS THE SAME EXACT SCENARIO AS EMMA/JULIAN. BINCH

now here comes the gayest quote

“We don’t . . . have to be parabatai,” Matthew said, his voice quiet under the sound of the blast. “I said it to make your father take me with you, so I could execute my new plan, but we don’t . . . have to. I mean, unless you . . . maybe want to be.”

James had thought he wanted a friend like himself, a parabatai who was shy and quiet and would enter in on James’s feelings about the terror of parties. Instead here was Matthew, who was the life and soul of every party, who made dreadful hairbrush decisions, who was unexpectedly and terribly kind. Who had tried to be his friend and kept trying, even though James did not know what trying to be a friend looked like. Who could see James, even when he was a shadow.

“Yes,” James said simply.

“What?” said Matthew, who always knew what to say.

“I’d like that,” said James. He curled his hands, one around his father’s coat sleeve, and one around Matthew’s. He held on to them, all the way home.”

GAAAAYYYYY

moving on to my actual points.

i feel like it’s important to take into account that so far, emma and julian are the only parabatai relationship that’s been canon. (unless you count michael and robert, but since they never acted on those feelings in canon, and it never actually came to fruition bc robert had his Big Gay Panic, i’m not counting it for the sake of this argument.) if cassie is really telling us that in her four main series, as well as her side novellas and miniseries, etc. the only parabatai relationship we get to actually see be together and fall in love is a cishet couple, i will fucking scream. that’s really homophobic and gross, considering. but honestly cassie has never been into qu**r-baiting, that’s not her style. and homophobia has never been her thing. which is why i have to believe that matthew and james will be canon.

also, matthew is obviously not straight. and i’m not going to search for the ask, but cassie was once asked about matthew’s sexuality specifically, and she was like “i would rather… wait… till the books come out… for you to know.” or something to that degree. like, fam she would never say that if matthew was straight. like i said, not a qu**r-baiter. matthew is obviously into james, and their relationship as i said before was gay/bi/pan-coded in nothing but shadows. BUT you say, MAYBE james is straight and matthew’s love for him is just one-sided! and then he just ends up with a random dude side character!! um, no. that’s the same thing that happened with alec-jace-magnus in the mortal instruments. it would be lazy af to run with that same storyline again, and i honestly would fucking lose my mind if i had to deal with another unrequited gay parabatai love story ever again.

next, and honestly this is REALLY important to me as someone who’s not straight. clary, tessa, and emma. the three /main/ characters of the last three series were fucking straight. they were written straight in the books. canonically straight. yes obviously we all headcanon them as lgbt bc why wouldn’t we, but the point is that the narrative painted them as straight. (disclaimer, i have not read lord of shadows yet, so if emma and christina somehow got together in that book, i take this statement back.)

with her fourth and possibly final (??) series coming out, how could she pass up the chance to make the main character lgbt? the world has changed since she started publishing her books ten fucking years ago in 2007. readers and publishers are much more open and willing to accept lgbt main characters and main relationships. she made alec gay back in 2007, which honestly seemed groundbreaking at the time, but having a side lgbt relationship in your novel is hardly groundbreaking in 2017. everyone’s doing that. but, she has a chance now, with all her popularity and money, and the fact that her books no matter what are instant bestsellers, to finally make her /MAIN/ main character non-straight. she can do anything she fucking wants. so!!! why!!! not!!! make!!! james!!! fucking!!! herondale!!! bisexuall???

and another thing, while i’m ranting like the crazy person that i am. yes, clearly james and cordelia get ~married and have kids or whatever the fuck according to that family tree we saw when clockwork princess came out. BUT keep in mind that at the time, cassie herself said that the family tree had purposeful inaccuracies and she left out the fairchild family line on purpose.

cordelia imo is obviously going to bi, pan, or a lesbian, and end up with anna. that’s just my two cents, and honestly i’m really happy about that because in all her fifty or so books, the amount of wlw is astoundingly low. obviously theres helen/aline, but they are background characters and a background relationship, and we didn’t even see them get together. so i’m glad there will be a wlw relationship in the core main group of the last hours. STILL though, still, that just means that cordelia and james got fake married so they could be with other people. but back to my original point: it makes more sense for that person to be matthew, rather than grace.

another thought to consider is that tlh and tda are meant to parallel each other in multiple ways. i know this seems obvious, but i have to believe that one of these parallels is the whole falling-in-love-with-your-parabatai-making-you-both-monsters drama that jem brought up. JEM, who had a very close relationship with his favorite nephew james and tried to comfort him when james thought he was ‘becoming a monster’ in nothing but shadows. i haven’t even read lord of shadows yet but idgaf bc this obviously still holds up.

tldr; obviously james and matthew should and can be together. and like i said in those tags, if they aren’t i have no interest in the book series.

#james herondale #matthew fairchild #the last hours #heronchild #mames #JUST #MAKE THEM CANON #Anonymous

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alluratron · 7 years

Text

85 question game rules: answer these 85 statements and tag twenty people

tagged by @steambend

the last

drink: coffee

phone call: my dad

text message: actual text “can i come over now?” but i use whatsapp or messenger more

song you listened to: uhhh i was listening to 5h’s new album

time you cried: honestly cant remember its rare

dated someone twice: i went on one date with this girl 2 years ago and thats the extent of my dating history

kissed someone and regretted it: oh god idk if we kissed (i mean probs) but in like april i went out with my football team and the next day i got a text from some rando that identified himself as “the oyinbo prince that got your number last night” (oyinbo is nigerian slang for white) rip me

been cheated on: never

lost someone special: two years ago

been depressed: few months ago

gotten drunk and thrown up: i dont throw up when drunk only when badly hungover. last time was in june.

three favourite colours: all shades of purple/ burgundy/ yellow

in the last year have you made new friends: yeah

fallen out of love: nope

laughed until you cried: yep

found out someone was talking about you: nope

met someone who changed you: no

found out who your friends are: i mean i guess i rediscovered the strength of some friendships

kissed someone on your facebook list: yes

in general how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? majority of them but sometimes i add them when drunk and im like who tf

do you have any pets? i used to have a dog but she died a few years back :(

do you want to change your name? no

what did you do for your last birthday? got drunk went out

what time did you wake up? ehh like 7

what were you doing at midnight last night? tungle

name something you can’t wait for: honestly i really want vlds4 to reignite my love for the show

when was the last time you saw your mum: she went out like 3 hours ago lol

what are you listening to right now? nothing

have you ever talked to a person named tom? yeah

something that is getting on your nerves: more ppl wanting someone (coughcough) to replace shiro as permanent black paladin (someone was really out here saying they hope keith unlocks more black lion features than shiro did miss me with that shit fam shiro bonded with black within two (2) episodes more than keith did in 7 ANYWAY IGNORE THE SALT)

most visited website: tumblr

hair colour: purple usually, brown rn

long or short hair: long usually, short rn lol

do you have a crush on someone? ehhhhhhh theres this dude at uni and weve kinda been flirting for 3 years but nothings happened but like i wouldnt be opposed to a date i guess

what do you like about yourself? im honest

piercings: two in each ear and a nose ring

blood type: honestly no idea

nickname: al

relationship status: single

zodiac: libra

pronouns: she/her

favourite

tv show(s): a:tla, vld i guess, orphan black, skam before s4 (im sorry s4 was a mess)

tattoos: one on me finger

right or left handed: left

surgery: wisdom teeth

sport: football or zumba

vacation: i went to santorini last year

pair of trainers: nike airs

more general

eating: im not currently?

drinking: also not currently…

i’m about to: find some food

waiting for: going back to uni

want: allura to go back to being leader/fake shiro theory to be true and real shiro comes back to the black lion/keith is part altean(or polluxian whatever just make him romelle’s kid) and is related to acxa/shallura get together in canon

get married: i’m not fussed

career: engineer

which is better?

hugs or kisses: hugs

lips or eyes: lips

shorter or taller: taller

older or younger: older

nice arms or nice stomach: arms

hookup or relationship: either i guess. depends on the person

troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant i guess? idk im not really hesitant but i dont go looking for trouble

have you ever

kissed a stranger: ya

drank hard liquor: ya

lose glasses/contact lenses: lol YA

turned someone down: i was gonna say no but i remembered i turned down my best friend in summer camp when i was 10 LOL he was cool about it tho

sex on the first date: does it count if there was no date

had your heart broken: um…platonically moreso than romantically if that makes sense

been arrested: not my black ass

cried when someone died: yes

fallen for a friend: mhm

do you believe in

yourself: right now yeah

miracles: yes

love at first sight: attraction my guy not love

santa claus: nope

kiss on the first date: if the date went well why not

angels: yes

other

eye colour: brown

favourite movie: probs like. moonrise kingdom. or aquamarine. idk fam lol

tagging: @the-allura-shirogane @allurahimesama @littlespacestars @katiiesbishop and anyone else who wants to pls feel free

#about me #i guess

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melien · 7 years

Text

100 questions tag

Tagged by @teekapoa, thank you! It was an interesting tag.

1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED?

Closed. I like privacy :D

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS?

Hmmm no

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT?

Let’s just say my bed is a mess when I wake up

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE?

What no?

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES?

Not anymore

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM?

I don’t even cut them out

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES?

Neither xD

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES?

They show up only in summer but not really

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES?

No... sometimes I end up with a resting bitch face which doesn’t reflect my personality at all

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE?

I think people who don’t keep their promises. And who hate on others for no reason

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK?

Maybe... sometimes

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS?

I guess so

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS?

Noooope

14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING?

Sometimes xD

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS?

Only pens. Pencils taste yucky

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK?

Zero

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED?

Middle-sized one (I fit just right)

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK?

Happy birthday? Because it’s my birthday tomorrow

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK?

It’s okay for anyone to wear any colour they like

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS?

Of course!

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE?

50 Shades of Grey... it’s the most boring movie I’ve seen imo

Also those movies where they harm animals

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME?

Hmmmmmm am I supposed to reveal this? :D

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER?

Usually tea

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN?

Ketchup

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?

Pizzaaaaaaaaaaa

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE?

Back to the Future 1-2-3, Love Actually, 21-22 Jump Street

27. LAST PERSON, YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU?

I don’t even remember who I last kissed on the cheek

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT?

Nope

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE?

Well if I had a flawless body, I’d think about it... but I think I wouldn’t either way

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER?

Damn it was so long ago I can’t remember

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR?

No, I don’t even have a car

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET?

Nope

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS?

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH?

Burger

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST?

A sandwich with cheese and sausage

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME?

12 am

37. ARE YOU LAZY?

Yeah

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN?

I remember dressing up like a witch once, generally I didn’t celebrate Halloween often

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN?

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK?

Four, not sure about the fifth one

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS?

Nope

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS?

Uh legos? Because I didn’t have lincoln logs

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN?

When something is very important to me, yeah

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN?

I have no idea who they are

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS?

Nope

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS?

Oh yeah

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR?

No, I’m usually there with my parents

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?

Sometimes

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR?

No xD

50. EVER USED A GUN?

Held a decorative gun at some museum

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER?

Long ago, I think it was for my passport

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY?

Yeah, but there’s nothing wrong with this kind of cheesiness. I enjoy some musicals

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL?

I don’t think so

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI?

Yeah I love them!

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE?

Probably berry pie

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID?

I wanted to be a teacher... what was I even thinking

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?

Maybe... but I don’t want to

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING?

Sometimes yeah

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY?

Shit xD

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS?

I do

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE?

Yeah, it makes me feel cozy and warm

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED?

Old T-shirt and pants

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT?

Some local singer’s

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART?

We don’t have them here

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS?

I don’t care xD

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS?

Maybe fritos, idk they seem similar to chips

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS?

Peanuts!

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN?

Has anyone?

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS?

I used to but I’m too awkward for dancing

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING?

I’d like both of our jobs be connected with travelling

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE?

I can xD

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE?

Oh man don’t remind me, we once had this contest in middle school and I was super close to winning but mixed up one letter (I think said c instead of s), and it ended with me crying so hard that my whole face was red at photos

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY?

When I’m happy, I usually laugh and blush

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS?

Maybe old ones

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER?

Yeah but it has no use now

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE?

New Year night usually

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE?

Yeah... but now I’m not sure it was real love, rather huge teenage crushes

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT?

There’s a lot of singers and bands who I’d like to see! But I’ll probably never see them

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW?

Two days ago my friend dragged me to the concert of some Korean guitar duo. They were really cool and I felt sorry that barely anyone came

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA?

Hot tea, cold tea doesn’t have a taste for me

81. TEA OR COFFEE?

I can drink both

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES?

Um it’s hard

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL?

Yeah

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE?

I can (holy shit I actually had a dream today where I had to hold my breath under the water in order to escape some cruel kingdom without being noticed)

85. ARE YOU PATIENT?

I’m good at pretending I’m patient

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING?

Band

87. EVER WON A CONTEST?

Uh not really besides winning some Polish language contest at school and getting winning places at English contests but it doesn’t count does it

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY?

Nope

89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES?

Green, only green!

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET?

I think I could when I was younger, because my mom is good at it and she taught me, but now I don’t remember how to do this

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE?

Living room if that’s what was meant

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED?

Yeah

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED?

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH?

I didn’t have crushes at high school, I had them on celebrities and fictional characters

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY?

Nope

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

My sims xD

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS?

Yeah I do, but when I feel like I can ensure them a good life

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?

Maybe blue and pink

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW?

My niece and my grandma

100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS TAG NEXT?

As usual, I tag everyone who’s feeling like going through these 100 questions :D

#nonsims #saviorhide #personal

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hoetron · 7 years

Text

okay christ i got tagged in htis massive tag game by @mothable but i love a good ol challenge lets do this buckfucks

RULES: ANSWER THESE 88, THEN TAG SOME PEOPLE

BASICS:

a. NAME AND PRONOUNS: Rae, she/her

b. AGE (and birthday!): 13, Aug 28th :3c im a fucking fetus ny’all

c. SEXUALITY: am i bi? am i lesbian? am i just craving existential death 24/7? i dont fucking know a thing my guy

d. GENDER: cis female hooooh

e. COUNTRY: AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI OI OI

f. FAVORITE AESTHETIC: pastel colours and really nice fashion i guess..??? (also smoking is kind of aesthetic eyes emoji eyes emoji)

TRIGGERS/MENTAL ILLNESSES: i’m not actually sure :x

THE LAST:

1. DRINK: salt water hah normal water is for the WEAK (dont drink salt water please im begging y

2. PHONE CALL: my brother asking what kind of pizza i wanted

3. TEXT MESSAGE: “:3c” im such a fufcking furry...fuckck,,,,

4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: Daydream warriors by Aquors listen nyall im reconnecting with my hidden buried weebass side of me okay im crying

5. THE TIME YOU CRIED: i dont actually remember? probably like last year unless you count me having tears from laughing too hard as cryng then thats yesterday during the meme aka now called lightning mcqueen server

HAVE YOU:

6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: nahh

7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: dont think ive ever kissed someone thats not my family before im #Pure

8. BEEN CHEATED ON: nope lmao

9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: my grandfather i guess? but he died when i was really young so at that time i didnt really undersyand the feeling of loss and mourn so ksdjfk but we had some goodass memories together

10. BEEN DEPRESSED: they ask you how you are and you just have to say that you’re fine when you’re not really fine but you just cant get into it because they would never understa

11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: im severely underaged please

TOP 3 FAVORITE COLORS

12. red

13. yellow

14. either black or lavendar,,

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: yis

16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: ya,,

17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: okay im known as the most giggly person in class i laugh so easily that i easily have tears over everything

18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: nahh dont think i wanna know if its like in a bad way :x

19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: aw y e s

20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: ya :,) (Thanks em, lily, mae and imogen for making this year truly greater than last year and for being the best friends i could ever ask for)

21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: facebook is dead to me

GENERAL

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: serious facebook is dead to me i roasted above the flames of negligence (also because i have like two facebook accounts one using my pesonal email and the other using my more general email , the one using my more general email keeps recommending to me my OWN personal account and its personally so hilarious)

23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: a cat called lucky! (i love him even though im p sure he hates me)

24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: i guess my irl name uhhh im 50-50 with it? but granted on the internet i waaay prefer using the name Rae over my irl one because its short and simple and nice-

25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOU LAST BIRTHDAY: just want to a chinese resturant with my fam and my uncle because we’re simple that way and like. back then i didnt had that much friends so uh l m a o (but vidhi gave me a nerf gun so that was Really Cool and i love her)

26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP TODAY: 9 oclocK BECAUSE A HOUSING AGENT WAS COMING OVER (but then i fell back to sleep and woke up at 12 so lmao)

27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: watching a video on why ‘anime art isnt technically allowed in art school’ because i was just curious and then drawing

28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: VOLTRON LEGENDARY FUCKNG DEFENDERS SEASON 3 SHIT BABES IM REA LLY FUCKING PREPARED AND NEAR END OF MONTH AVCON BECAUSE EYES EMOJI

29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: an hour ago lmao shes like just outside my room

30. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: sighs my shyness and social anxiety and awkwardness (all three of those are counted in a pack right? the pack of “socially inept” people)

31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: daydream warriors... by aquors..... (listen im RECONNECTING with my weeb side like said above im actually weeping)

32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: uh idk mate

33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: i havent brushed my teeth yet but im lazy to move my legs lmao

LOST QUESTIONS

34. MOLE(S): um quite a lot like a few small ones on my arm and like one on my face below my right eye and theres one underneath my boob i think lmao tmi and the rest i cant be bothered to find

35. MARK(S): a kind of burnt scar mark on my left shoulder from like 6/7 years ago when i got too close to someone smoking and their cigarette burnt me oh and a scar on my knee from the time i fell off my bike while playing bike catching in the neighbourhood with a couple of other friends like 4 years ago?

36. CHILDHOOD DREAM: vet (now im eh about that tho im probably just going to pursue some art career)

37. HAIR COLOR: brown eyy

38. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: long

39. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: yeah. hopefully its dying down now especially since the person is straight (its hard when she sits next to you in class and you guys are sort of friends now and u somehow feel really satisfied when you make her laugh :,) shit )

40. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: im generally kind with people regardless of whether or not i dont like them or i dont know them well or i know them i guess? (at least in my group of friends im probably the most willing to socialise with others) and uhhhh i guess i can make people laugh? im a huge fucking loser meme nyall

41. PIERCINGS: none and personally dont really want to

42. BLOODTYPE: shit i think it was either a B or an O i cant remember (i think its B tho)

43. NICKNAME(S): maggie, migi, bela, bob, bobbo

44. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single pringle

45. ZODIAC: virgo

46. PRONOUNS: she/her (lmao yay for repeated question)

47. FAVORITE TV SHOW: fuckngin,,, voltron,,, (probably going to stay my favourite for a long while tho)

48. TATTOOS: none atm (unless you count waterbase tattos then yes stick all the water based tattos on me) but like when im Much Older maybe? just a really small tattoo tho not anything big that covers an entire limb

49. RIGHT OR LEFT HAND: right

50. SURGERY: had a surgery on my foot forgot which side when i was in kindergarten because the skin was *censored for tmi* and yah stitching up your skin fucking hurt babes

51. HAIR DYED A DIFFERENT COLOR: nahhh i dont think id dye my hair tho who knows

52. SPORT: im probably going to retake up basketball again eyes emoji eyes emoji

53. VACATION: ooMMF nothing planned so far

54. PAIR OF TRAINERS: like uhhh what kind of sneakers?? just normal canvas sneakers i guess????? im, what.

MORE GENERAL

55. EATING: OXYGEn

56. DRINKING: IN OXYGEN

57. I’M ABOUT TO: complete this fucking 88 questions then chat on discord and scroll tumblr and tell myself “hey finish up your art!” but then 5 hours later im still scrolling tumblr. oh and im watching wonder woman later so :3c

58. WAITING FOR: nothing atm i guess?

59. WANT: my family’s financial situation to be solved and so that money isnt going to be a huge bother anymore...

60. GET MARRIED: sounds nice but probably only marriage idk the idea of kids doesnt really sound v appealing atm

61. CAREER: artist! (i wanna either work in a game development team or an animation studio eyes emoji )

62. HUGS OR KISSES: HUGS

63. LIPS OR EYES: lips erally nice to draw really nice to look at

64. SHORTER OR TALLER: buhhh im short so i guess taller would be nice (tall people have such nice legs too im frankly a little jealous)

65. OLDER OR YOUNGER: what is this in regards to

66. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: arms so that dO YOU SEE THESE GUNS

67. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: shrug emoji idk man

68. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship

69. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: troublemaker pardnyars in crime amirite

HAVE YOUR EVER:

70. KISSED A STRANGER: no

71. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: nope

72. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: yeah p sure i had to go through a whole day of school half blind once without my glasses

73. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: nah..

74. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: nO IM 1 3

75. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: dont think so?

76. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: nah babes

77. BEEN ARRESTED: nah

78. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: somehow when someone dies i decide to laugh instead of breaking down in tears i guess laugh away the pain?

79. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: ...shit its a bad idea babes dont do it

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

80. YOURSELF: shrug emoji

81. MIRACLES: sometimes? sometimes no?

82. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: even bigger shrug emoji

83. SANTA CLAUS: nah lmao listen i caught my father and mother wheeling in bicycles for my sister and i when i was like what 8? usually i just played along because hey i was a child

84. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: ehh depends i guess

85. ANGELS: not really lmao

OTHER

86. CURRENT BEST FRIENDS NAME(S): Emily, Mae Shuen and Lily

87. EYECOLOR: dark brown?

88. FAVORITE MOVIE: this changes all the time

only tagging uhhh @pluminkdot (KASJD I FORGOT IF YOU HAD A MAIN REBLOG ACC IM SORRY RACH), @jaspereffect , @blabrabs / @spaceboomerang (it isnt letting me tag ur main boomers skldfjksd) and uh im too lazy for the rest

#raedy to talk shit #mattie #mothable #w e eps #this took fucking forever babes #LONG POST

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elvesofnoldor · 7 years

Text

got tagged by @jedihighcouncil (thanks! Sorry this is a little late haha)

Nickname: my mom has 234802394 unofficial nicknames for me and they are all...technically...in Chinese. she has one official nickname for me and its also in Chinese. Star sign: cancer Height: 5′7? (idk i should be b/w 1.69-1.70cm lol. i’d like to think im 1.70cm) Time right now: 10:25pm Last thing I Googled: star wars rebels season 1 Song stuck in my head: i have no idea what is called :\ Favorite music artists: im never too passionated abt musicians (these composers doing classical music in 19th century r exceptions lol). I’d say Leslie cheung but i genuinely hate these trashy ass mf canto pop songs :\\\ I like indie shits that features poc as band members, so im gonna go with....Bloc party? There is also this black canadian artist that goes with the name of “cold specks” and i luv her stuff too! I’ve been playing her songs on this radio show ive been doing cause i only aimed to feature indie songs from artists of colour or bands consisted of mainly artists of colour. Speaking of which, I actually played one of the songs Oscar isaac covers in inside llwyen davis on the show too lmao, so i guess Oscar Isaac can count too??? If i gotta go with an established mainstream musician i’d go with Sia. Last movie I watched: logan ( it could be “kubo and the two strings” tho) When did you create your blog: September 2013 Currently wearing: black to white gradient leggings, long sleeve shirt with a hoodie, black socks Blog content: mostly star wars now, movies and a few tv shows. Obviously theres joke posts, a few bizzare shit posts, too much personal posts and some social justice content Other blogs: i have a leslie cheung sideblog but that blog has been inactive for over a year cause i decided to only post original content on there and...its been very hard for me to open photoshop to do edits and gifs and graphics these days :((( Do you get asks regularly: not at all tbh lol i used to get moderate amount of asks when i was in spn fandom Why did you choose your url: i love poe and i want to make my url related to his name! I also couldn’t think of something artsy to go with “poe” or “dameron”...well i could, but im not satisfied with any of urls i came up with so i resort to make a url that sounds as close i can get to his full name. Also I kinda want my url to be unmistakably... “star wars”? Gender: cis girl Hogwarts house: pottermore sorts me into ravenclaw?? But honestly im not sure if im hufflepuff or ravenclaw and i dont really care Pokemon team: UM! the blue one??? i forgot lol its been a while Favorite color: i always say “blue”, or “sapphire” for this kind of question, but honestly? blue gets boring for a while, lilac is probably my 2nd fav Average amount of sleep: ...LOL! who the heck knows?? 5-6? These days i woke up at 6 or 7am and then fell asleep till 10, 11 or even 12 a lot sooooo Dream job: I would love to be an indie filmmaker making documentaries or fictional narratives but I also like to survive in a capitalist society! There r literally filmmakers out there who wins awards at film festivals but couldn’t pay their goddamn rent! Captalism is evil my dudes! Even awards don’t pay then what if you don’t get awards! I’d also want to be a prof specialized in transnational Chinese cinema or whatever, but do i wanna get a phd after getting my masters tho? Also there aren’t that many universities out there with positions in humanities programs, and im not as scholarly as I should be. Tbh i love screenwriting, I’d probably try to write for feature films or maybe even tv shows, cause filmming on set is exhausting as fuck and i aint got the brains and passions for considering logistics as a director.

tagging @sammywilson, @platanochips, @poefinn, @scoundrelhan @fineiljosten, @skygualker, @softdameron, @bodhiroks @jewneto (no pressuring in doing this guys!! Also while im pretty sure none of u mentions not wanting to be tagged in tag games, if you actually don’t like to be tagged, just tell me so i wouldn’t do it again <3)

#tag #yolanda talks #previous url: Crownlesscas #long post for ts

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very-cherry · 7 years

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Hey. Hi. Big fan. I don't watch half of the shows that you reblog, but your enthusiasm is quality. Um.. this is super personal, so I totally understand if you don't answer, but how did you realise you were nb?

omg im so sorry you have sat through my tags for this long, buddy you deserve better lmao. but no this is super okay to talk about, and ya its personal but im alright with it bc sometimes its nice to talk about?? like its a lot easier to explain over here rather than to my family (rip) but yeah i can get into it. um, itll be under the cut tho bc its a long answer, so if my other followers (or people who may get triggered) dont wanna read like ya theres that

the short answer: i realised last year, bc of everything that piled up and me finally finding the time to sit down and Think About It.

(tl;dr: at the bottom if youre not here for the Super Long answer)

the long answer: gender had never come easily to me as a kid, like i understood that girls played with dolls and that boys played with trucks. but i also was raised in a family where girls could play with trucks too, as long as they still looked like girls. so from the get go i had a v “tomboyish” look about me, and how i presented myself. i found i was v comfy with the tomboy label growing up, bc it meant i could play with the boys but still be sensitive and emotional while the boys werent allowed to feel like that

my biggest stepping stone tbh was (is) my mother. now if youve followed me for a while you probably know that while my mother loves me, and i suppose i love her (still up in the air), our relationship is v v v v Tense. this is due mostly to the fact that she has this preconceived notion of what the world looks like, and how people should act and present themselves. for her, to have me as a child saying “i wanna dress like a boy” “i wanna be a boy” was no biggie bc i was Just A Kid and would grow up to flourish into a beautiful young woman. which, for the most part, i did. but that doesnt mean i enjoyed it. from the age i was allowed to dress myself, my mother and i would fight about my clothing choices (and i literally mean fight. she would refuse to take me somewhere if i didnt dress the way she wanted. would throw my own clothes at me or on the road outside our house etc) and she would dub my clothes “too casual” and tell me to “dress up” and “look a bit more girly, please?” which i now know is totally Gross and not v nice, but at the time i didnt know any better, i hadnt grown into myself. this, alongside many years of condemnation in regards to my interests and hobbies and things i just enjoyed and wanted to talk about, just Didnt Add Up to my mother. she loved having two pretty daughters, pretty daughters who could wear dresses and live out the life she couldnt bc she fell pregnant with my older sister at 19, and thus had to grow up v quickly (no blame on my sister tho, shes my favourite person in the world and shes trying v hard to understand me and loves me v much)

fast forward a couple years: i was 15 when i first developed my eating disorder. quite frankly, it was only upon realising that im nb as to how i figured out what my ed was Actually About. i didnt like my curves. i didnt like being “girly”. i did constant misguided ab workouts and ate three rice cakes for lunch, followed by nothing but a banana until dinner. my sleep patterns were hit and miss bc i would either write away the pain or stay up wondering what this Thing i was feeling was (spoiler: it was dysphoria). i tried super hard to love my curves, to own myself and how i looked, but it never felt Right. i never understood. i would see my psychologist and ramble about my ed and she would pinpoint it and say it was curves and i would always just say “but its not”. bc it wasnt Just Curves, it was the idea as a whole. and it was v confusing and scary, so much like my exploration into my sexuality, i just put it off.

it was combating my ed that helped me most, i think. it was getting over it, and forcing myself back into a natural sleep pattern (so i could actually do year 12 without wrecking myself). i didnt get over it until around april 2016, which was when i fell in love with the idea of self love, and decided to give it a go. i listened to my psychologist, and she was v patient with me, and was cautious with where i placed my blame (”yes its your mothers fault for making you react and feel this way, her words hurt you. but youre the one that decides what to do with that negativity”) and it was so so so helpful. she taught me that i was deserving of love, and positivity, and that loving youself is a process, and it doesnt always work the way you want it to, but you need to find what makes you happy and keep doing that. for me, that tied into my food, my talents, my friends, and my actions. im not going to sit here and claim that fitness is key to happiness, but its part of whats key to mine (to the point that i have been inspired to become a personal trainer and teach other people that being “healthy” isnt just about food and exercise). each person has their own individual things that keep them balanced, and if yours is painting your nails instead of doing sit ups fucking go for it - just make sure you find that thing, because it gives you clarity.

my clarity hit me in the beginning of year 12, when i Sat Down and really had a think. i thought back to how i wanted to look growing up, how i wanted to act, i remembered the day i first had a proper bra bought for me instead of a crop top and the way i cried for hours that night without knowing why. i remember not wearing shirts to bed and then suddenly feeling awful when i started having to. i remembered trying to wear boxer shorts and nothing else around the house and being yelled at. i remembered telling my dad i wanted to look how he did when he was 18, and yelling at him when he said “but dont you want to be pretty like your mum”. i remembered my sister cutting my hair in the dead of night in her bedroom, bc i didnt want to look the way i did. i remembered wearing all these oversized clothes to hide my chest. being uncomfortable when anyone (family or stranger) would say “lady”, “girl”, “miss”, “female”. shrinking into myself when someone pointed out my curves. looking in thw mirror and only smiling when my hands were covering and pushing my chest. looking at the scale and not seeing anything other than a number that meant i was stuck being curved. refusing to go swimming bc it meant having to wear a bikini instead of just board shorts. wanting to play on the mens basketball team, wearing mens clothes, being mad when i suddenly couldnt wear them anymore. overcompensating by wearing midriffs and muscle shirts and short shorts and lacy underwear to impress my boyfriend(s) bc i was their GIRLfriend and this is what I Needed To Do. wearing clothes around my first girlfriend that i was really comfortable in, and her telling me that im still nb even if i have to wear a bra for now, and that she wouldnt ever take my shirt off or act as if my chest ever existed if thats what would keep me comfortable, and me nearly crying bc of how validating and overwhelming it was.

it all hit me at once, and i was struck with the blatant honesty of what this had been all along. id ignored it and shoved it down bc i didnt want to upset my mother, disappoint her. i didnt want to be what she never wanted. but then i remembered that i am deserving of love, even if its only ever from myself.

so i told my best friend, and she was so wonderful with it, and she asked what pronouns i wanted to use from now on, and she helped me ease into shopping for clothes. and i bought a binder, and it fits v well and i fucking love it. and i told my other friends, and all the ones who matter are v supportive and beautiful (one even offered to make me a suit). and i told my two favourite cousins, and my sister, and they make sure to text me that i should stretch when i wear my binder, or to take deep breaths in case i forget to and its v homey and nice and they want me to be happy. and i blurted it out to my mother and she fucking hates it, and shes threatened to “burn” my binder if she ever sees it, to “rip it off [my] body” if i ever wear it in front of her, that she wants “nothing to do with It” and that “its a fucked up idea” someone has “put into my head”. but you know what? thats okay, bc i Know who i am now. and sometimes things dont always go how you want, and sometimes the people who love you most cant love all of you, and i want you guys to know that if that ever happens, youre not obligated to love them back, okay? love yourself, love those who love All Of You.

tl;dr: years of dysphoria piled onto me when i had a hot ten minutes to fully think about it in between classes.

#replies #about #tw: emotional abuse #tw: eating disorder #im so sorry about how long this is #im sorry if it didnt answer the question the way you wanted it to #tbh im v thankful you asked this question bc its v cathartic to answer #and its so much easier to be honest to an anon #(or just someone who wont judge in general)#if you (or anyone else who read) want to personally hmu feel free to message me its totally a-okay #Anonymous

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epooleymajorproject2018 · 6 years

Text

Untitled (proposal deconstructed through speaking)

My final major project will extend the written word constructed as a thesis, in an attempt to demonstrate skateboarding’s combination of physicality, skill, image and mindset. Into a medium within the plastic art’s that can visually express the motion/emotion of a skateboarder. How does the habitual repetitiveness of skating construct the individual.

Untitled Unknown City Image Into Representation Representation Into Image Good Stacy Peraltta Quote… What is the language of skateboarding? (medium) thing Page 6 Pause —

write list as submission…use deconstruction as work.

Highlight the non list parts in colour

So my final major project will an extol of the thesis i wrote upon the action and gesture of skateboarding, er not predominately of skateboarding imagery wise errrrr but of the many different fasits and tangents that form from one when they skateboard. So in order to articulate, as an extension from the thesis that i wrote, um I'm going to clearly…like aesthetically visualise what the piece of work will be..um

I have so far written…..a seriece of notes witch are various different ideas, so far…and so..make a google map of spots, post images to coordinates, post map. make a google map of graffiti and statements…post locations and images…and passages. make a google map of my own personal derive, that pin points specific places that attract then repulse me.

Cover public architecture with canvas…collect two weeks later…if they are still their… stretch them over wood. photograph them. Cover specific spots with canvas…have skaters skate them…stretch them over a wooden stretcher. Cover a wall with canvas….wallride them, stretch them over a wooden stretcher.

Détourn billboards…detourn public space…pour concrete over public space.

As and example of this, my, i was…errr basically took…I spray painted over a sign and then i write poo next to it, when ‘poon’ not poon or poo next to it i wrote um as to remove the label of the..Osbourn sign witch was on a construction site….errr…back to reading this out…

Détourn Chilche phrases in skateboarding.

Graffiti statements across the roads that are interesting to you as a skateboarder———skatepark statement with spelling mistake..ironey of appropriated/détourned…so here I'm talking about…um…talking about when i…when i wrote…(sigh)…i wrote a statement with was sort of an appropriated from Guy Debord and the situationists and i spray painted onto a ramp, thats at the skatepark but it wasn't a ramp for sort of..was built by the skatepark, it was a ramp that was built and then taken their by a skateboarder, its like a wooden ramp, not a concrete one…um and i wrote the phrase Work is the slavery…of…hold on…gonna have to check now…work is the slavery of…(indistinct noise)….not the slavery..”WORK IS THE BLACKMAIL OF SURVIVAL”… and then i wrote my ‘poon’, like a tag type thing next to it..its pretty dumb but….

Go to the skatepark late at night.. and over the whole ramp and cover..o…(tuts) Go to the skatepark at night and cover a whole ramp in canvas record the response.

Appropriate, reappropriate and collage all material collected as imagery and resend…….(long pause)

Appropriate, reappropriate and collage all material collected as imagery………and research, as in imagery and research..(deep breath in) and (out) wheat paste these up…plus inspiration imagery..so that was my idea to take everything that i produce wether it be imagery and research and sort of appropriate them…reappropriate the appropriations….and collage..so..have some sort of non-order or an order dependent on what it be of the materials and wheat paste them across Brighton…in sort of a..a sort of gesture of being aware of all the imagery and everything thats sort of being articulated and have some sort of..public factor in this piece of work..(burps)…pardon me…(cloths rustle)…(makes noise with mouth)…..

de knob the defensive architecture at Edward Street put in a bag and mail them to the university of Brighton hang..hang a…Banner Détourn-ing University’s…Hang a banner détouring…this one doesn't really make sense…Hang a banner detouring universities and the passivity of the student affiliation…er..passivity of the student alienation from the realistic practise that would have been..at the hand of the student in the past…….thats sort of like me wanting to..make a point of being in uni to everyone..that it would be hanging a banner or something like that..about the fact that..like..universitys have just changed..from…what i know of it obviously I've only been in university once but there just getting worse…and its all fucking…so much austerity…(deep breath in)..errr..create a fake organisation called get people to sign up…o…get people to sign up..create a fake organisation called…sort of a name…like an acronym..get people to sign up..and then…once they've signed up photograph them and have them with there like sign up sheets…urmm…so I'm sort of photographing them them in the process of them signing up to a fake organisation…and then…it would be called Fasade…Alienation..Kingdom..England…so the acronym of that would be FAKE..like…yeah Facade Alienation Kingdom England…(noises)…(stretches)…

Film yourself skating in Brighton and London for 1 hour go to the tate project it on the turban hall floor’s..thats simple enough..i just wanna film skate for an hour and then take it too the tate modern and according to the idea i had thesis about Jennifer West n how..she….sort of…she just sort of seemed to…usurp..skateboarding as a…cultural sign or signifier of something and then work it into her own practise in that piece. An i wanted to yeh take skating around Brighton or London or Brighton and London for 1 hour maybe just journey too London, i haven't really thought far ahead..these all just random ideas…um..and got to the tate and project it on the turbine hall floor, so have a portable projector and project it on the turbine hall floor…be funny to see response of people around me as i do that…(laughs to himself)…probly get kicked out or just looked at n some people would ask questions or just dunno..all sorts of reactions probly…um…

all moments of daily life that captures your attention photograph, film, draw, write and collage weekly…so weekly..yeh..this sort of relates to the inspiration imagery where i wanna wheat paste up…loads of imagery across brighton of this sort of project..ina sort of public environment…um….yeah so…everything i do towards this project…all the imagery and everything that gets created or whatever it be that gets created through this project i want to..weekly..do like a wheatpaste of it…so it sort of continually grows and it can also give me something to do which is like an activity which is sort of like uh accumulation of the project across time until the final thing comes out…cause i still haven't figured out the final thing..(breath in)..er..

Get kicked out of university for making art…yehh…(laughs to himself)…thats probably not going to happen…o it might do what use the studio space on the second floor and skate it and blah blah blah (breaths in) but yeh..ummm…….have a fake meeting witha..hold a fake meeting with a tutor..put,place a cardboard cut out of yourself in place and have them….in place of your human presence yeh..have a fake meeting with a tutor and place a cardboard cut out of yourself…in place of your human..presence yeh

so thats 18 ideas..and theres..so more…(picks up piece of paper) ..um..(breaths in) do a lecture on my thesis that incorporates google images and is a live streamed and is live streamed to an audience that may have a response or interest in the subject matter of my work. (breaths in) So..yeh screen record and audio record yourself whilst studying and tabs that you open while your showing them things on google…i supposed it would have to be a duration so what of a duration to the piece cause so many tabs can be opened before the internet starts crashing um………yeh that could..sort of be a reproduced version like..the lecture itself if i record all of that whole thing and then sort of have the screen screen recording and audio recording..of myself…studying (mumble)..basiclly thats yeah..i wanted to a lecture on my thesis thats incorporates google images and is a live stream to the audience..um…they may have a response or and interest in this subject matter of my work..but also………….i have another part the pei..the same piece where its like its a screen recording and an audio recording of myself studying..the tab growth..when I'm sort of researching…something i wanna do(breath out)..its sort of like a diary or a dialog of….the person using the internet to find out something……….

Get a large group of skateboarders to boycott the skatepark in there local city……yeah thats pretty self explanatory.

make a dairy of when you skate, time and date it, and where you skated (coordinates+postcode)… yeah thats quite unlikely that I'm gonna do cause when i skate i just go and skate cause i wanna go skate…you sort of do it…you cant really ‘do’ skateboarding and think about skateboarding at the same time if that makes sense..(breaths in)….(indistinguishable sound)………..yeah

Defensive architecture academic text, try and find something on defensive architecture, that’s something i wanna research into..urm..

Make an animation of one of Rodney’s clips, so yeah make an animation of Rodney Mullen…casue he's fuckin sick..(sighs)..

Go to the keep and talk about Brightons industrial revolution, so yeah, thats came out of an idea…well..thats came out of going to speak to someone…at the museum of Brighton..about where i can find maps and stuff, and actually that came out of me and Matt talking about…um…this idea for a project i have…(breaths in)…um….yeah…she..she gave me a good idea about…a good idea of where…to sort of find those industrial maps and stuff. Cause id like to collage and stuff and sort of use them in my work somehow, and it gives it a good context…if you think about it…cause I'm doing work..specifically a city…um..yeh..shes actually a really nice person..and she’l probably come to the exhibition..if i.i tell her about it later date, at a later date or something, but yeh i need to go to the keep, before i do all that.

(breath in) Get blue prints of the skatepark that was original, the wooden one, what was the location, before it was a skatepark. How did the change the community..the er..sort of..try and find the original blue print’s of that skatepark that was built..there was like a wooden…wooden skatepark..and what was the location..of it..so like…whe where did it sit in a city sort of where…how did that..affect the community…surronding that skatepark…what was the..dynamic of that areaofe that city of Brighton…um yeah.. skateparks are pretty shitty places..

work in super 8 or earliest medium of skateboarding..i still haven't figured out…how I'm gonna film all this..or not..i think that gonna come through the process of actually…doing these 18 ideas…(scoughs) not even 18 theres probably…21 22 23 24 25 (faintly) 26 27 (indistinguishable sound)..30..31..like 31 roughly…(shuffles)…yeassss..(shuffles)…ive also got a Gary Hill book out..(ruffels pages)…(indistinguishable sound)…(breaths out)..

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