#undiagnosed madd | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fleurfay · 25 days

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I (probably) have Maladaptive Daydreaming this wouldnt work well but oh boy the want to do it is SO STRONG just to see what my brainy brain would do–

I'd get distracted probably oh no—

#fleurfay speaks #christian rambling #christian memes #christblr #undiagnosed madd #maladaptive daydreaming #music is my trigger #always making movies #inside my mind #24/7 #aaaaaaaaaa #poor attention span

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everythingisredisetitonfire · 1 year

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I'm starting to think my hyperfixations are equivalent to others' crushes.

#aromantic spectrum #adhd #undiagnosed #giftedness #gifted kid #aroace #neurodivergent #hyperfixation #maladaptive daydreaming #madd

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maladaptive-daydreaming-aphant · 6 months

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i'm so fuckin stressseddddddd i have assignments to do but my adhd mind refuses to focus and it's very frustrating and i want to escape into my fake little daydream world but if i let myself do that i'm definitely just gonna lie down and fall asleep and not get anything done at all so instead i'm sitting here wasting more time writing this stupid tumblr post to give me a reason to close the app because my brain would rather do literally anything other than my assignments right now. anyway that's enough of that i guess ttyl

#thanks adhd thanks madd thanks anxiety thanks depression thanks whatever the other (undiagnosed) thing is that keeps making my life hell #adhd #madd #madd things #madd problems #maladaptive daydreaming

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madd-mer · 2 years

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List of MaDD Things I do

I feel like I'm constantly invalidating me and my MaDD. It feels like my experience with daydreaming inherently differentiates from the experiences of other maladaptive daydreamers. I hate that I'm doubting myself so much so in order to fix that I will write about specific things regarding my MaDD that I haven't really seen anywhere else here on Tumblr or other social media platforms.

First of all, I do suspect that I might be neurodivergent. I currently have no way of getting a diagnosis but I have done a lot of research which lead me to the conclusion that it is highly possible I have ADHD. I felt the need to say this because I think some things I'll mention will correspond to my neurodivergent tendencies.

Here's my list of unusual things I do in order to daydream/while daydreaming:

I can't focus enough to properly daydream in my everyday life because of noises or people talking in the background

because of that I prefer to daydream right before sleeping

the room or space that I'm daydreaming in has to either be completely silent or play music without lyrics (preferably classical music)

I lie completely still most of the time to be able to fully concentrate on my scenario or paracosm

since I practically cannot daydream throughout the day I often distract myself with literally anything

that is mostly tiktok, tumblr, youtube, netflix, homework, or any type of media/activity I can indulge in to forget my need to daydream

I get quite a lot of intrusive daydreams where a possible outcome of the situation or event I'm currently in just starts sort of manifesting in my head and I have to stop myself from continuing that daydream (these scenarios are often very unlike to actually happen and mostly consist of me getting hurt, accidents or other unpleasant stuff)

I have exactly one (1) distinct memory of me daydreaming similarly to maladaptive daydreaming as a child leading me to believe that it had just recently started developing (probably during the pandemic)

I'm aroace and had a lot of difficulties coming to terms with me being aromantic, so most of my daydreams/scenarios/paracoms include a lot romance with f.e. a parame to cope with that

All in all Maladaptive Daydreaming is my biggest comfort and NO.1 coping mechanism •°. *࿐

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the-sky-the-stars-the-sea · 1 year

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I was today years old when I listened to Fireflies by Owl City for the first time.

Where has this song been all my life?!?!?!

#actually autistic #autism #actually neurodivergent #neurodivergent #madd #actually madd #every other post i see about undiagnosed neurodivergence talks about this song #so i listen to it finally #and WOW what the heck #why haven’t i heard it before???

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dumb-lab · 8 days

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Pls help.

Does anyone know of an informative video or article that talks about adhd in women specifically and also goes over all aspects. Like how at the beginning one can seem to be a good student but in later life start to do bad. And every other thing like time blindness, hyperfixation, executive dysfunction, burnout, anxiety, rsd, poor short term memory, inability to organize big tasks, the pressure influenced hyperfixation (like studying only when exam is near or deadline is near), how its genetically related and every other small and big aspects of it. Or most of it at least and unbiased .

#adhd #adhd problems #neurodivergent #adhd brain #madd #adhd diagnosis #adhd in women #adhd in girls #adhd inattentive #adhd issues #adhd in adults #adhd in college #undiagnosed adhd

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chaos-in-one · 1 year

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Anyways I love you all systems

Especially the ones who get a lot of shit for how you are

I love you large & polyfragmented systems

I love you introject heavy systems

I love you systems with no intention to work towards final fusion

I love you self diagnosed & undiagnosed systems

I love you systems who aren't sure yet what kind of system you are

I love you systems who want to be seen as separate individuals rather than parts of a whole

I love you young systems

I love you nonhuman heavy systems

I love you systems with a lot of lgbtq alters

I love you systems who don't use the more mainstream language to refer to yourselves

I love you systems with no host & with multiple hosts

I love you systems who formed through trauma that isn't as well recognized

I love you systems who feel your system *is* linked to other disorders you have

I love you psychotic systems and systems with MaDD

I love you non-white systems

I love you physically disabled systems

I love you systems who don't remember their trauma at all

I love you systems with complicated identities

I love you systems who do fit in stereotypes about systems, and ones who fit in none of them

I love you systems who are loud about who and what you are

I love you systems who worry you're faking

I love you systems from religious and ethnic minorities (ex: Muslim systems, Jewish systems, Celtic systems, Tibetan systems, etc.)

I love you all <3

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pawphobia · 29 days

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Doin a system introduction !! /pinned post.

Whomp whomp

Names: Fang, Alistair, Graves, and Ky (key)

Nicknames (ask before using: Al, Ev

Collective Pronouns: It/Ze/Paw/Pup/Lost/Blood/Red

Collective Gender: Nonbinary??

Body age: Under 18, but in high school.

Headcount: 120+

Diagnosis’s: Autism, GAD, Persistent Depression, Processing Disorder

Undiagnosed: MaDD, System/Osdd1b

Extra: Use tone tags pls!!

Dni:

Under 13 bodily, Basic dni, Anti xenos/neos, Icest/Illegal shippers, Endogenics + Their supporters, Overly rude people, Anti recovery, IRLS, Pro delusions, Anti agere/petre, Kink/Nsfw centered accounts

:p

Hmmm

Under the cut is our freq fronters

Graves/Ky || Host + Persecutor (healing) + Holder || || Ask prns || Bodies Age || 🩸

Lucifer || Fictive + Co-Host + Caretaker + Protector || He/Him || 4.5 billion+ || 🦆

Kayuri || Unknown || Unsure || 8 ish ? Possible age slider to older tho || 🦴

We have one more but they are vulnerable so we will not be sharing information about them.

We usually go through rotations of who frequently fronts. Graves/Ky is our almost always consistent alter in the rotation!

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guardianssystem · 6 months

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Okay, hello! We have really never used Tumblr before, well, this week (for all you "you're from Tumblr" folk) but here we go!

We are a traumagenic DID system with severe CPTSD and PTSD. Our collective pronouns are phe/phex/phins, based off the word "phoenix", and yes you can use them, we have been posted on LibsOfTikTok and been harrassed for them. We have autism, ADHD, NPD, BPD, MADD, and a couple other things (a lot of it led to each other.) We're also legally blind and yes us needing glasses is a disability, we currently have undiagnosed breathing issues, and we have seizures, usually as a response to trauma. We're gay, an adult, Elfkin/Angelkin/Fallenkin/Deitykin/Alienkin, a femboy, transmasc, and some form of intersex :)

We currently live in New Zealand, and we're "NZ European," although we're not entirely sure where our family comes from. Some were Romani, a lot were Bulgarian, some were Celtic, apparently? We hope to look into it further at some some point.

We currently live with our abusers! We hope to move out by the end of 2023, when our mother's legal control over us ends (she has control because we're disabled, also yay.) Until then, we live at home in a single small room with our husband @theharbingerofxhaos . We can't get a job because we're considered a danger to the workplace, so we're relying on our wife's benefit to live until we're able to get on our own (love you Chaos xoxoxoxo)

We stream on Twitch sometimes! We hope to post art on BlueSky and used to post on DeviantArt! We post about plurality on Twitter, we post about Otherkinity on Reddit, we post about real life shit on Instagram, and we post what's supposed to be cosplay on TikTok! You can almost always find us under GuardiansSystem.

Uhh - we write stuff, we draw stuff, we cosplay sometimes, we walk around dressed as a goth, we own really dumb cats, we used to do.. a lot of dance, we sing, we guess? We might start SW stuff in the future, too. We hope to properly study psychology at some point, and we're doing some on-and-off psychology stuff right now, but money.

And we guess we should mention this, but we support, well, stuff that other folks might not support, we've never really specified exactly everything we support and what we're against. We don't have a DNI except for those really annoying kids who go "not reading all that" (mostly /s, but please don't waste our time :(

We will specify, however, that we do support mspec lesbians/gays and pronouns not equaling gender, because no, they aren't hurting anyone, and yes, they've been in history forever, and no, mspec does not mean male-spectrum, and yes, being against them is being against plurality as they're a part of nearly every system even of you don't realise it. And yes, we used "plurality" because being anti-endogenic systems and non-traumagenic plurality is racist and endorsing colonisation.

That's all we can think of, so a little intro for our alters at the time of writing this, since we've never done it before. Not complete list, we don't name some trauma holders and our littles :)

-alters-

Ash: they/them, 16, a cloud. They're a little strange and probably won't be around a lot.

Austin: he/him, 23, basically a Lizardfolk thing from a very specific D&D game, protector. He's a common fronter, overly serious, and also not serious.

Avira: dae/daem/thay/thayme, 14k, a ghost, protector. Incredibly ADHD, won't be online a lot.

Crimson: red/reds, 22, "Royal Dragon Celestial" (no, we don't know what it means either), persecutor. Bit of a dick, really, but can be pretty sweet, just please, don't annoy them. Also incredibly femboy gay.

Desmond: he/him, 27, a variation of Desmond from Assassin's Creed in that he describes himself as a "Templar God," protector/persecutor. A little bit stupid, has horrible dress sense, tells everyone he's straight when he really is not.

Elliot: he/him, 29, he's Elliot from Stardew Valley and looks identical, protector. Very serious, no fun, very autistic.

Katharos: xe/xyr/xyrself, 27, a Fallen Angel (profile picture), old host for a long time, persecutor. Doesn't come out a lot due to some undisclosed reasons, can be sweet or very rude.

Khaos: dre/dren, 16, Abyssal Dragon, protector. Very, very hyper, no filter at all.

Lotor: he/him/her (not she), 10k+/ageless, we had a horrifically intense hyperfixation on Voltron Legendary Defender for years and this is the result, caretaker. Overly serious but can be fun sometimes, not a fan of his source material.

Marcus: he/him, 38, Moon Knight, persecutor. Very stupid, blunt, rude, and an asshole (and the one writing this)

Nightsong: she/they, 48 or 4000, an altered demon-y factive from our past life, protector. Incredibly blunt and dresses in a very revealing fashion.

Rakan: he/him/nyc/nycto, 39, Hellhound, protector/persecutor. Tiny bit stupid, very sweet, very protective, and very gay.

Sombra: voi/void/voids, 32, floating piece of void that looks sort of like a biblically accurate angel, gatekeeper, and maybe current host. Original asshole, nicknamed asshole, very much assholy.

Tim(e): he/him, ageless, an altered angel-like factive from our past life, self-helper. Very autistic.

Tristan: it/its, 16, an ocean and also somehow Scandroid's cover of Thriller, gatekeeper of our non-traumagenic subsystem. Hyper, strange, doesn't front a lot.

Zalaph: lun/luna/lunself, ageless, a shadow, persecutor. Hasn't been out a lot but very lesbian.

Okay thanks, goodnight, going to bed o/

-Marcus

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giraffefeather · 2 months

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Thoughts on maladaptive daydreaming. Read more for easy skip. 😊

I watched a video on reality shifting (where you experience a time in a reality of your choice - be it one you are an actress or on you go to Hogwarts) by Strange Aeons. Kudos to her for being respectful while also having an opinion! But one big point brought up was where does reality shifting start and maladaptive daydreaming begin?

And I realized that I check quite a few boxes in maladaptive daydreaming (MADD from now on because jesus christ that's too much to keep typing). As a child/teen, I absolutely had my own little reality I would escape to.

In it, I was part of a spy crew that could turn into one animal each, the animal picked based on your personality, and we all had nicknames after that animal. I was Wolf (hi, yes, I was absolutely a wolf girl and this was just an extra level). My crew included Lab (Cody), Fox (Cassie), Eagle (Derek), Bug (Logan), and Panther (Toby). Bug and Eagle were the tech guys, based in a secret safe house directing us to our next mission. Fox, Lab, and I were the boots on the ground people. Sometimes we battled various bad guys. Sometimes (on car rides), we directed a system that chopped down telephone poles and helped spread tree seeds. Instead of a creature running beside the car, I had a friendly robot system that I talked to, and a mission to save the planet. In class, I would type secret messages to my team, and give and receive directives. Every moment I did not have enough real-world stimuli, I was half in that world.

Now, I have to wonder if all that qualifies as MADD, or just regular imagination. Or the secret third option - undiagnosed ADHD child lacking the stimulus she needed.

The quick paraphrased definition of MADD I found is that it's a behavior of excessive daydreaming, usually a coping mechanism, that may disrupt work, hobbies, and/or relationships. Working with that definition, there's a few more boxes to check.

Was it excessive? Yes. Absolutely. While I never had the obsessive bug with this one, it was a constant in my mind. It was always there if I had a moment of boredom, ready to come to the front of my mind.

Was it a coping mechanism? ...sort of? It didn't help me with any real world problems. I was fortunate enough to be a fairly happy child. I had a manageable amount of anxiety. I had close friends just as weird as me, and more close friends that appeared perfectly neurotypical (my brain wants me to rant on this neurodivergent vs neurotypical next, let's skip it for now). My family was loving, if a bit strict, and home was a safe place. I was overall accepted by my peers (despite the teenage urge to divide the alts and the preps, I was accepted by both). I have no trauma, to the point that i can't even try to fake it. But my biggest problem was boredom. In a time before portable video players and smart phones, I was constantly trying to avoid boredom by multitasking. Homework was filled with doodles. Drawings either had a TV in front of them or in an depth story behind them. When I had a DS, it was constantly within reach, and my Animal Crossing world thrived while I had full conversations with family. Car rides and school, with only one focus (that often felt like none), were unbearable unless I slipped inside my fantasy world. That was the only thing I needed to cope with: boredom.

Did it disrupt work, hobbies, or relationships? No. Not at all. My "work" was school at the time, and I was a straight A student despite being half in my false world half the time. My hobbies were drawing, writing, and cross country. The first two i could focus on if the motivation was right. Cross country is, arguably, a very boring sport; running for a fantasy purpose just enhanced the experience. (Hell, my friends and I used to sing a capella during practices to pass the time). My family and friends knew nothing of where my mind wandered. It wasn't a secret or anything, the conversation of what fantasy is playing in your head just never came up, so I never thought to share. I guess if I would have actually thought about it, I would have assumed everyone had their own world they went to when bored.

So... was it MADD? I... don't know. Maybe? If so, by a technicality? I didn't use it to escape a horrible life. Maybe I would have, if I needed to. But it was just something to do. I wasn't delusional, always knew it wasn't real. But it was fun, like a game of pretend with myself.

But I think, to some extent, I still do it. I will always love my fantasy shapeshifter crew. And sometimes, I still catch myself chopping down poles and collecting tree seeds on long car rides. But for the most part, I left that world behind. Now, I only daydream at night.

Perhaps that's due to access to constant stimulus. I work from home, and always have music, podcasts, or youtube on in the background. There's no room, no need for daydreaming. I have headphones in when I walk, the radio on when I drive. I watch tv and browse tumblr at the same time. I have so much I can do at any moment of the day.

But night? I need to occupy myself while I fall asleep. And I pick a scenario to daydream about. I put myself into a fantasy world, usually a fandom but not always, and play out a scene until I fall asleep. Often, I'm in the same world for weeks at a time. Currently, I'm in a crossover with Captain Jack Harkness in the Dragon Age Inquitision storyline, and you bet your ass I'm working on my Blackwall romance! (Tmi, but we're still early on in the campaign, and Jack hasn't found anyone to successfully flirt with, which is driving him insane! But soon we'll meet Dorian and Iron Bull, and I think things will start to look up for Captain Jack). I literally cannot fall asleep without my little stories now.

Is that maladaptive? Have I trained myself to only sleep if I'm in that world? Eh, who cares. It works and it's not hard to do.

So I guess the biggest question left to answer is that of MADD vs... whatever neurodivergency I may or may not have (again, lucky enough to have made it through childhood happy and successful, so never sought diagnosis of anything). If anyone dared to read the ramblings above, please weigh in with your own experiences!

#maladaptive daydreaming #???#please forgive the tag #i have done research #but have no firsthand accounts #if you're in a place to educate... i am willing to learn #rant #long post #read more

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acircusfullofdemons · 3 years

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not sure if its bc of madd or neurodivergency or some weird teenage-ego thing but. i always feel 'out of place' when sitting with my family....like im pretty sure i should be spending more time with them but im tired & dont wanna interact with anyone & ive just gotten used to being alone most of the time. whenever i try to sit in the living room with them i feel sort of ignored?? not always bc obviously people are free to do their own things, but nobody talks to me & eventually i feel like id enjoy myself more in my room....which i do.....so its just this horrible cycle...

#maladaptive daydreaming #madd problems #adhd #undiagnosed adhd #luka.txt #i kind of wanna explain my paracosm to my mom but i am SO BAD at verbalizing....literally anything. esp when it comes to my paracosm.#on text im fine i can write an essay all day but just?? verbally explaining it....ugh no #not to mention im worried shell try to suggest things that ill have to shut down bc theyll probably not work or contradict what i already #have. idk maybe im just Too Used to being Alone. not physically but...emotionally...?? but like also physically too ig #tho i am a bit touch adverse ngl

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fleurfay · 8 days

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My mood rn lol

#christian memes #christblr #godisgood #my god is amazing #god is my refuge #fleurfay speaks #undiagnosed madd #madd

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everythingisredisetitonfire · 1 year

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How do you call the state between hyperfixations.

The one when you feel like dying, to be more specific.

#adhd #undiagnosed #maladaptive daydreaming #madd problems #madd stuff #actually madd #madd things #madd #hyperfixations

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sanktazoyaslut · 3 years

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there's a point you reach when you can't differentiate between real life and your daydreams so when something in your life happens that overwhelms/overstimulates you, you go straight to the fantasy world and it sometimes seems like that feeling isn't real at all and you forget about it later lol

#maladaptive daydreaming #madd #adhd #undiagnosed adhd

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madd-fujoshiteko · 3 years

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Everyone makes me angry.

When I'm not daydreaming or studying or stressing over university I am feeling anger

I'm tired

I don't want to exist like this anymore and I don't know what's wrong with me

#madd #maladapting daydreaming disorder #actually maladaptive #maladaptive daydreaming #almost functional #undiagnosed something #i cant find my own solutions #at least i have something more informative to tell to my psychologist

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maladaptive-daydreaming-aphant · 3 years

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i didn't even know maladaptive daydreaming was a thing until just a couple days ago. thought i'd just been increasingly losing my mind over the past five years tbh

i was like, wow! more people suffer from this!!

...but then it turns out most MADDers don't regularly spend six hours daydreaming in a row oops

and hahaha lucky me bc i don't want to go to the doc about it because apparently it isn't really officially recognized? so it feels like a waste to address it when it's dangerous to go outside at all rn

finally found an answer for my struggles but can't even do anything about it lmao typical, can't wait for the doc to just blame it all on depression like they've done with the very obvious adhd symptoms i have too that have been ruining my life for years now

mmmmmm pain and suffering

#maladapting daydreaming disorder #maladaptive daydreaming #madd #depression #undiagnosed adhd #Rivulette's Thoughts #rant

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