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#music is my trigger

fleurfay · 25 days

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I (probably) have Maladaptive Daydreaming this wouldnt work well but oh boy the want to do it is SO STRONG just to see what my brainy brain would do–

I'd get distracted probably oh no—

#fleurfay speaks #christian rambling #christian memes #christblr #undiagnosed madd #maladaptive daydreaming #music is my trigger #always making movies #inside my mind #24/7 #aaaaaaaaaa #poor attention span

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drabsyo · 25 days

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Are you ever going to draw more for your Heather's Murder Mystery AU? I would love to see more art of it! If not, that's okay

something something obligatory "Veronica and Heather are all alone in the hospital after Heather is trying to recover from her stab wounds and the killer is one of their friends (?)" scene, and oh they've just confessed their feelings for each other earlier because seeing the other one get hurt made them realize how badly they want each other in their lives

welcome to Act Three

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didderd · 1 year

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Congrats on 300+ followers!!! Hehe your gift is on the way uvu

In the meantime, how about a little doodle of Tic enjoying something? Maybe like his favorite treat? Anything really 🥺

(Click/tap images for better quality)

TY, Mothie!! (You don't have too. I will cry. /pos ;v;)

Tic loves music. :> Depending on the song/genre (and how active his tics already are), it could either trigger or help prevent tics. :3

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wanderingcas · 7 months

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so i've been having a hard time with my ✨depression✨ the last few days and i want to share something that may help someone? it helps me? and that's: go to bed earlier. don't stay up past 10 - 9:30 if you can help it. im so serious. it's the literal depression witching hour past 10 if you stay up too late and!! there's a scientific reason for it. (something about cortisol levels idk my therapist explained it to me once but point remains: you get sadder at night) drink some chamomile tea if that's your jam, take a bath, take some melatonin drops, ANYTHING you can do to try and sleep earlier. if you can't sleep that early (like me), simply lie in bed with a cozy blanket and read a book. or watch a familiar, uncomplicated sitcom. turn off the phone (read: social media). don't engage in anything that's upsetting. and i promise you the world will feel better.

#i say this at nearly 11 pm my time but that's because i took a bath and drank chamomile tea when i started to spiral an hour ago #exactly at 10 pm on the dot!!#and now i'm about to lay in bed with some calming music #i'm serious it helps. not only do you end up getting a little more rest #but nothing can trigger you deeper into the emotional pit of despair that you're already in lol #sam rambles

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artist-issues · 11 days

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I’m going to talk about something potentially suicide-related, so watch out.

Music can’t save you.

I keep seeing that all over the place—seriously, all over the place, not just from actual musicians— and I feel like someone needed to say it.

All you’re really claiming when you say “music saved me” is:

Music has a powerful effect.

During a time in my life where I felt like giving up, that powerful effect changed what I was feeling so that I did not give up.

Okay those two things are true, but let’s take a step back for a second.

If you’re lost in the woods and considering giving up, sitting down, and letting yourself starve or be eaten by wild animals, a bird could have the same impact. You might look up, see a colorful shape flying through the trees, and decide to follow it. Now you’re moving. Now you’re doing something, instead of giving up—regardless of whether or not you can keep up with the bird, regardless of where it’s leading you. So sure, that is a good thing. But it’s only temporary, a bandaid solution to your problem. Even if it leads you to water, or shelter, you’re not “saved.”

You’re not “saved” until you’re no longer lost, no longer in the woods. You have to get back to your home. You have to get back to a place where you know where you are in the world, and how to get what you need, and everything makes sense again.

It is the same way with music. Or any art.

Art can remind you of what’s good, and beautiful, and yes, true. But it is not the art that saves you. It is the truth that does the saving. The art just had a hand in reminding you of it. So it would be way more accurate to say “music helped me.” But you still have to deal with whatever it was that got you to the place where you felt like giving up. And part of that is making sure that you know what the song is saying has truth in it, and that truth actually applies to the problem you’re having, because you can lean on truth, and it’s what made the music worth anything in the first place. Otherwise, the music is just a distraction, and distractions end.

In that sense, it’s more like a tiger is stalking you through those woods. You can get away from it briefly, especially if something beautiful or good or true distracts you from the thought of laying down and letting it take you. But eventually you have to kill the tiger, or get out of the woods where it lives.

Truthfully—truthfully—a song can get you out of, or into, a state of mind and emotions. But those emotions have a source. And if you don’t get rid of the source, or neutralize the source, your songs are only going to be bloody bandages on a wound. Worse, the songs might make you start to love the sight of bloody bandages, when what you really need is disinfectant and actual healing.

I do know this from experience. I’m just saying, think about it.

#Soap box #personal #personal post #for my followers #suicide #suicidal thoughts #music can save you #music has power #the power of music #music #mental health #trigger warning #suicide warning #twenty one pilots #Tyler Joseph #kings kaleidoscope #Chad Gardner #Clancy

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madaratheestallion · 1 year

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If you watch this and don't want to watch World Trigger afterwards, I can't help you.

AMV: World Trigger Fan Trailer

Song: Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush (cover by Samuel Kim)

Trigger Warnings: Flashing lights, guns (fantasy anime guns but better safe than sorry.)

Reblogs appreciated!

#This is probably a weeks worth of work it's my baby I hope y'all love it as much as I do #world trigger #amv #mageposting #video #tw flashing #tw flash #flashing lights #anime music video #tw gun image

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mychemicalroadworkahead · 2 months

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Lotms triggers

PLEASE DO NOT TREAT THIS AS AN INFALLIBLE THING IF YOU HAVE MEDICAL CONDITIONS TRIGGERED BY FLASHING LIGHT! I tried my best but I may’ve missed a few.

Flashing: 0:33-0:44

Vomiting: 1:04

Depression and addiction discussion: 1:05-1:16

Post vomit fatigue: 1:12-1:16

Mention of suicide: 1:16

Flashing: 1:35-1:36

Helena MV: 1:44-1:46

Helena MV: 1:59-2:02

Flashing: 5:32-5:35

Mention of shootings and drugs: 6:24-6:26

Flashing: 12:03-12:08

Image of 9/11: 18:18-18:21

Images of 9/11: 19:00-19:09

Image of 9/11: 19:33-19:37

Flashing: 21:09-21:11

Flashing: 21:28-21:32

Flashing: 22:20-22:23

Mention of addiction: 25:59-26:06

Flashing: 34:47-34:50

Fake blood: 36:22

Fake blood: 47:33-47:36

Discussion of death: 54:36-55:04

Flashing: 1:00:04-1:00:08

Discussion of addiction: 1:00:22-1:03:10

Vomit: 1:02:48-1:02:57

Flashing: 1:07:07-1:07:11

Fake blood: 1:07:17-1:08:20

Addiction: 1:08:29-1:12:31

Vomit: 1:08:55-1:09:01

Suicide: 1:09:22-1:11:49

Flashing: 1:15:17-1:15:49

Flashing: 1:29:27-1:29:30

Flashing: 1:30:22-1:30:25

Flashing: 1:31:19-1:31:24

Helena MV: 1:31:24-1:33:19

Flashing: 1:33:31-1:33:43

Helena MV: 1:34:10-1:34:13

Fake wounds: 1:34:28-1:34:39

Flashing: 1:42:17-1:42:23

Helena funeral procession: 1:52:41-1:53:23

Coffin on stage/Helena live performance: 1:53:28-1:54:38

Ghost of you MV: 1:54:55-1:57:09

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foxes-and-ghosts · 3 months

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*screaming, crying on the bedroom floor* SOMETIMES BEFORE IT GETS BETTER THE DARKNESS GETS BIGGER

#the person that you’d take a bullet for is behind the trigger #fall out boy #emo #emo music #music #lyrics #random #my chemical romance #mcr #panic! at the disco

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enhanced-operatives-division · 27 days

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Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble

I will not be brief, all under the cut

To clear some things right off the bat:

No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.

Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality

The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.

This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.

Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:

Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.

All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.

Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).

And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.

At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.

I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.

Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.

This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.

It shifts something between them.

From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.

As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.

Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.

Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.

I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.

I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.

I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.

As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.

I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.

Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great

#ty right-agent for explicitly telling me that this would be welcomed you a real one #i had a massive babble to my friend abt what if they all feed me to the hounds for speaking #and he said “girl that fandom is like 12 people big they need you to speak” and yeah that also helped #i have a hard time talking if I'm not asked/prompted to that's why i adding tags is great for me. that and i like the format #anyways.#THESE TWO.............dear lord can you tell I have been unwell abt them forever..#this is propeganda (/j) for them. btw. please you have to understand the potential here. it's so good.#it's slowburn <- my (probably) demiromantic ass cannot handle romance without a build up and this set up is perfect (it will never happen)#also i find it easier to write ANYTHING between these two from Juniper's perspective because i find it easier to get into his head #idk reggie is like the gay version of the: what is he thinking of? i could take a bear in a fight. audio ive heard.#whereas with juniper i have him trapped under a microscope #im going to tag this now so i can use the remaining tags to RANT #ieytd #john juniper #reginald crane #junicrane #starstruck #i expect you to die #<- being BRAVE!!!#when I get really excited i start getting like this internal shaking feeling and uh. yeah this rant started that #the worst part abt that is it also triggers my tourettes so like. double whammy. excited about blorbos? jail :(#but. yeah I uh. yeah. sorry this IS so long..I did warn but . AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHAUUUUUUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH #also i did this rant in 2 parts. last night and this morning so yeah uh. yeah.#god im so messed up about these two #make me a boat by the family crest came on while wroting this and while it's mainly a roxanix song to me......AUUUUUG.....#i struggle to find music for these sillies because they have such a specific vibe to me amd I've not quite managed to find something which -#- genuinely feels correct for them and it drives me up the WALL #GOD NIGHT SHIFT JUST CAME OF SHUFFL.....all my ieytd songs are coming out to drive me up the wall.......#FINISHED I've been adding tags as I've gone alonga #thank you for reading hope you enoyed and if you didn't im sorry

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