#warms my sad johnlock heart to know that this is still loved

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hey steph!! would you happen to have any 'medium burn' (slow burn for the impatient) Johnlock fics? preferably minimal to no spice and a happy ending is a must! my weak heart can not bear an angsty ending :<

Thank you for all you do here <3

Hey Nonny!

HAHAHAH AHHHHH YES. The Medium Burn, huh. I never thought of calling my shorter "slow burn" fic lists Medium burn, but like... that's a good thing to call it! Because you don't have to wait too long to get it, hahha!

Ah, let me collect all the shorter fics on my Slow Burn Fics Lists and compile them here! I provide ratings for all of them, and chose to keep under.... 25K, let's say! If you're here on my blog, I'm guessing you can read through my lists like eating candy, so 25K is nothing hee hee.

I tag all my fics, so feel free to ignore the Ratings and Sad tags that you don't want to read <3

MEDIUM BURN FICS (Slow Burn Under 25K w.)

New Year, New Beginning by DaisyFairy (T, 810 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, New Year’s Eve, John POV, Friends to Lovers) – New Year at a crime scene and John makes a decision.

Ex by Itsallfine (T, 1,248 w., 1 Ch. || Angsty Fluff, Love Confessions, Coming Out, Exes, First Kiss, Fake Relationship, Getting Outed) – One night, in the midst of their post-case high and on the cusp of something more, John and Sherlock run into John’s ex. His ex-boyfriend.

In Dreams by Youarethelightoftheworld (T, 1,340 w., 1 Ch. || Falling in Love, Accidental Cuddling, Snuggling, Fluff, Romance, Domestic Fluff) – Every once in a while, the dark makes it easier to see.

There's Always Three of Us by Itsallfine (T, 1,765 w., 1 Ch. || S4 Fix It Fic/Post TFP, Parentlock / Rosie, Angelo’s, First Kiss, January 29, Love Declarations) – Sherlock takes John and Rosie out to Angelo's and gets a chance to correct the biggest mistake of his life.

Want by siennna (T, 1,806 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Pining, First Kiss Requited, Second Person POV Sherlock) – When John speaks, you hear more than words. You hear the rise and fall of his tone, the comfortable quake of his laughter, the warm pauses of silence in between. When John laughs, there are stars glittering on his tongue and galaxies resting just behind his teeth, and you wish you could press your lips there and burrow into the warm sound. Part 6 of sienna’s favorites

100 ways to say 'I love you' by Teatrolley (NR, 2,143 w., 1 Ch. || Slow Burn, Fluff, Domestics) – Sherlock sleeps with John’s body next to him, and wakes up to find him making them both toast in the kitchen with sleep still sitting in the corner of his eye, and he holds on tight to every little intimacy that John gives him; every little small moment, every little fond smile. It could be enough. Still, he’d like more. But Sherlock Holmes doesn’t know how to ask for things. Luckily, John does. In which there are a hundred phrases and none of them are “I love you.” Until they are.

The Marriage Proposal Negotiation by Goddess_of_the_Night (G, 2,161 w., 1 Ch. || Dev. Rel., Possessive Sherlock, Insecure Sherlock, Fluff, First Kiss, Post Mary) – Sherlock hasn't ever really done anything the traditional way, so of course it wouldn't bother him to propose to John even though they're not even dating. And the fact that John is already on a date with someone else when he decides to do it? Tedious. 

Rooftop Confession by Random_Nexus (T, 2,514 w., 1 Ch. || Ace Sherlock, Developing Relationship, Friendship / Love, Angsty Fluff) – Sherlock asks John to join him for a slightly unexpected discussion.

BBCSH 'How To Save A Life' by tigersilver (T, 2,784 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, Angsty Schmoop, Requited Love) – Pining, requited, and unabated spates of 'first kiss' fluff. Post Mary, AU, mildly cracky. John lays a smooch on Sherlock's nape in passing. The world does that thing it does when it wobbles and Sherlock practically falls off his own pins. Part 1 of 'How To...'

What He's Like by magikspell (E, 2,919 w., 1 Ch. || Love Confessions, Fluff, First Time, Inexperienced Sherlock) – Realistic first time. They love each other so much.

Once is Enough by Jominerva (T, 3,030 w., 1 Ch. || Love Confessions, Domestic Fluff, Whump) – Just as the earth rises to meet the sun at every mountain crest, John reaches out for Sherlock and takes his hand in his own."Tell me it won't end like this," he says, blue eyes holding grey while he laces their fingers together. Sherlock lets out a shaky laugh and shakes his head. "I wish I could."

A Bit of Indulgence by beltainefaerie (NR, 3,364 w. || Fake Relationship, Pride Parade, Declarations of Love, Fluff, Dev. Rel., Case Fic) – A case leads John and Sherlock to fake being boyfriends and John runs into an old acquaintance.

Hope Springs Eternal by QuinnAnderson (T, 4,054 w., 1 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, Pining Sherlock, Vacation, Anxious Sherlock, Love Confessions, Fluff, Requited Love) – John Watson and Sherlock Holmes go on holiday, and Sherlock has romance on the brain.

How Will I Know? by eragon19 (E, 4,895 w., 1 Ch. || Pining, Love Confessions, POV Sherlock, Fluff, Sherlock’s Imagination, Papa Lestrade, Masturbation) – Here was the problem: Sherlock Holmes was completely and irrevocably in love with John Watson, and he had absolutely no idea how to tell him.

changing tides by simplyclockwork (M, 5,983 w., 1 Ch. || Substance Use, Drug Relapse, High Sherlock, Sherlock Falls Down Stairs / Injury, Caring John, Drugs, Oblivious John, Hurt/Comfort, Angst With Happy Ending, Acceptance, Pre-Relationship, Addiction, Starting Over, Self-Destructive Behaviour, Drugged Hallucinations, Forehead Touching, Sherlock POV) – If Sherlock were to stop to think about it, he might wonder if he’s simply lonely. He doesn’t stop to think about it.

Closeted by sussexbound (T, 6,115 w., 1 Ch. || Love Confession, First Kiss, Games, Trapped in a Closet) – Sherlock and John get trapped in a closet while on a case. Some revelations are made while they play a game to pass the time. Part 1 of Intimacy

Full Disclosure by Itsallfine (E, 7,032 w., 1 Ch. || Bars & Pubs, Fake Relationship, First Kiss / Time, Love Confessions, John’s Army Mates, Three Continents Watson, Semi-Public Sex) – John’s army mates get together for the first time post-discharge and invite John “Three Continents” Watson to join them. If John shows up alone, he knows he’ll be the object of non-stop ridicule all night. Sherlock plays along. John tests the waters.

A Lifetime Together by LondonGypsy (M, 8,886 w., 1 Ch. || Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Falling in Love, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Pining Idiots, Alternating POVs, Domestics, Retirement) – John and Sherlock falling in love.

You fit me, Sherlock Holmes by orphan_account (G, 10,077 w., 1 Ch. || It’s An Experiment, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Questionable Science) – An unfortunate series of events leads to John accepting being a part of Sherlock's study in physical intimacy. As the days pass by, John realizes he might be in for more than he bargained for. He doesn't entirely mind.

Their Great Reward by BeautifulFiction (T, 10,095 w., 1 Ch. || UST, First Kiss, Fluff) – Boxing day, in John's opinions, is the worst day of the year. Christmas is over, the tree is wilting and stripped of gifts, and there's a week of dead-time until the clean slate of the new year. However the combination of a blizzard, a power-cut and Sherlock might just make it a day to remember.

Down with this Ship by FrostedFlame (PinkOrchid) (M, 10,862 w., 10 Ch. || For a Case, Gay Bar, Pining, Coming Out, Slow Burn) – Sherlock drags John undercover to a gay bar - for a case, of course - looking forward to seeing John flustered by their surroundings (since you know, he's NOT GAY). John decides that he has hidden both his orientation and his feelings for his daft flatmate for far too long. He is done hiding, time to be honest with his bloody best friend in the world. He just hopes it won't change anything between them. And then it does.

Iris by slashscribe (E, 11,948 w., 1 Ch. || Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Post-S3) – Sherlock does his best to make John happy when John comes back to 221B with his new baby after the events of Season 3, but Sherlock has a track record of getting things wrong in this area. This story is an exploration of their gradual shift from friends to lovers, told from Sherlock's perspective, full of a lot of pining and lack of emotional awareness.

I See You Through by belovedmuerto (T, 12,078 w., 8 Ch. || Psychic AU || Empath John, Alternate TGG, Whump, Nightmares, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn, Pre-Slash) – John has never asked Sherlock about his past, his childhood, the reason he quails in lonely misery almost every time he sees his brother. He’s never needed to. Part 2 of An Experiment in Empathy

The Slow Burn by CaitlinFairchild (E, 12,097 w., 4 Ch. || Romance, Emotional Infidelity, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock POV, First Kiss/Time, Fix-It) – John smiles, something small and private and for him alone, and Sherlock just...he knows. With a heart-stopping certainty, Sherlock suddenly knows. It feels like falling off the edge of a cliff. It feels like falling off the edge of the world. It feels like flying.

holding steady by darcylindbergh (E, 12,724 w., 4 Ch. || Post S4, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Growing Old, Gone Fishing, Mood without Plot, Soft Sherlock, Caring Sherlock, POV John Third Person, Anxious Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Touching, Feeling Old, Sherlock Worship, Crying Sherlock, Cuddles, Comforting, Introspection, Retirement, Hand Holding, Forehead Kisses, Caring John, Bed Sharing, Emotional Love Making) – Sitting on a thick wool blanket at the end of a rickety dock side-by-side, legs dangling over the edge, a styrofoam container of wet, dark dirt between them, they’re fishing. John knows what this is about. This is about finally figuring it out.

Speaker for the Bees by antietamfalls (M, 14,649 w., 3 Ch. || Deaf Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Fluff, Sign Language) – It isn't always easy assisting a deaf detective. Luckily for John, they make a pretty good team.

Merlot by Itsallfine (E, 14,844 w., 17 Ch. || Christmas, Pining Sherlock, Wine, Slow Burn, First Kiss / Time, Love Confessions, Wine, Holmes Family) – Sherlock and John work toward becoming something more as they prepare to host the Holmes parents at 221B for the holidays. Part of 25 Days of Fic-Mas 2015.

A Hooligans’ Game Played By Gentlemen by scullyseviltwin (E, 15,213 w., 1 Ch. || First Time, Rugby as Foreplay, Porn with Lots of Plot, John POV, Ogling, Body Appreciation, Cranky Sherlock, Slow Burn, Bed Sharing, Cuddling, Touching, Heavy Petting, Blow Job, Botttomlock) – In which John wants to get back in shape, does so, joins a rugby league and has sex with Sherlock Holmes. In that order.

Pleasure to Burn by scullyseviltwin (E, 17,863 w., 1 Ch. || Firefighter AU || Firefighter John / Arson Investigator Sherlock, Slow Burn, Pining, Case Fic-ish) – “If you’d kindly stop knocking about in there and destroying all of my evidence, it would be most appreciated!” John groaned and for a moment rested his head against the side of the truck. Of course he was the only captain left on the scene, which meant he would have to be the one to deal with the arson investigator.

Anytime by SilentAuror (E, 17,995 w., 1 Ch. || UST, Porn With Feels, POV Sherlock, Romance, UST/URT, Happy Ending, Drunken Endeavours) – Sherlock blinks and attempts to focus. There is a little too much vodka in his veins at the moment and it’s having an unfortunate effect on his brain and retinas both. There are two Johns sitting across from him, and both of them are frowning at him. “You’re drunk,” the Johns tell him. Sherlock blinks some more. “Says the man with Mrs Hudson’s doily on his head.”

Permanent Fixture by vitruvianwatson (E, 18,836 w., 9 Ch || Post-S4, Parentlock, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, They’re Good Parents, Blushing Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Explicit Consent, Sexual Content, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Big Feelings, Crying, Fluff, Anxious Sherlock, Inexperienced Sherlock, Emotional Communication, Love Confessions) – Now, as Rosie sat curled up against Sherlock’s side, John watched and wondered exactly how he had ended up here. Domesticity had never suited him before, not at any point in his life. His disastrous marriage had been proof of that. But somehow, here in the warmth and safety of 221B Baker Street, here with Sherlock Holmes reading medical jargon to his daughter, Sherlock’s bony feet nudging against his leg, John couldn’t imagine anyplace that would make him happier. 

The White Lotuses by SilentAuror (E, 20,340 w., 1 Ch. || Slow Burn, Domestic, Romance) – One day John realises that he just isn't where he belongs, which is back at Baker Street with Sherlock. So he goes back and Sherlock, in his own way, courts him. Romance.

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

whiskies neat by Ellipsical (E, 20,660 w., 15 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, POV Second Person Sherlock, Slow Burn, One Night Stand, Rimming, Blow Jobs, Anal, Soldier John, Crying, Emotional Lovemaking, Switchlock) – Home and hearth and whiskies neat, or, alternatively, Sherlock Holmes falls in love.

Once More, With Feeling by cellard00rs (T, 21,178 w., 7 Ch. || John’s Family, Fake Relationship, Romance, Fluff, Humour) – To put off his meddlesome, matchmaking mother, John convinces Sherlock to play the role of his significant other. Unparalleled awkwardness ensues.

Ghost Stories by SwissMiss (M, 22,256 w., 1 Ch. || Pining, Holmes Family, Christmas, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, First Time) – Sherlock's parents think he and John are a couple. They might be onto something.

You Can Imagine the Christmas Dinners by ardenteurophile (T, 23,584 w., 9 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Drama, Fluff & Angst, Humour, Romance) – Sherlock takes John along for Christmas dinner with Mycroft and Mummy (And "Anthea", too). Over the course of the evening, John realises that everyone in the room - apart from him - seems to think that he and Sherlock are a couple. Part 2 of Xmas Dinners Verse

Tomorrow's Song by agirlsname (M, 24,645 w., 5 Ch. || Post-TRF, POV Sherlock, Angst with a Happy Ending, Virgin / Repressed Sherlock, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Pining, Jealous Sherlock) – How can he think a relationship with me would be a good idea? I am the sort of person to take a break from my life and when I come back after two years, I expect to find it exactly as I left it. In reality I find it shattered to pieces. (I actually equate you with my life. When did I start doing that?)

State of Flux by Atiki (E, 24,655 w., 4 Ch. || S3 Fix It, Sherlock POV, Slow Burn, First Kiss/Time, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Cuddles and Snuggles, Awkwardness, Insecure/Virgin Sherlock, Romance, Humour, Masturbation, Love Declarations, Bottomlock, Brief Suicidal Ideations) – John’s marriage is over and he is finally back home (i.e. at Baker Street, where he belongs). Sherlock is awfully insecure and John is awfully hesitant, and they’re both awkward idiots, of course, but they figure it out. Many First Times happen.

#johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #slow burn fics #under 25k fics #long post #medium burn fics

[elisabethvanroseblood]

The Nameless Story

Memories

"Go Go go!!!!! If you were all so lame, the enemy would have defeated us!!!"

A man in uniform yells at the young soldiers who are making a long march.

"HURRY UP!! GO!!!"

He yells and marches 15 meters in front of the group.

The new one from the troop collapses because she cannot breathe properly. The others march on, but one of them stops and hurries to the young girl.

"Hey, are you okay, Richards?"

Says the soldier and helps her up. She points to her breast and indicates that she cannot breathe. He pats her on the back, which makes her cough and gasp.

"Th-Thanks"

She coughs and looks at the soldier with thanks. He smiles.

“No problem, that's what comrades are for. Come on. We have to catch up with the group"

He says, takes her hand and marches on with her.

After a while, the group rested in a forest and pitched their tents for the night.

"Thanks again for helping me"

Says the young woman and smiles gently. Her blue eyes in the night sky shimmer slightly in the light of the campfire while she sits next to the soldier.

"No problem Richa—"

"Sky. Just Sky"

The young woman smiles and eats an apple.

"John"

Said the soldier before sipping his canteen.

The two still eat something and talk about God and the world.

“Tell me, why are you here in the military? This is no place for a pretty young woman like you"

Says the man and looks at the blue-eyed woman, who blushes slightly.

“My father was in the military. He wanted his children to go there too. But I am his only child because my mother, whom he loved very much, passed away after I was born. He didn't want to and couldn't remarry, so he raised me and trained me as best he could. I never minded, I always thought it was cool to have a father who was in the military and supported me. And well....now I am here"

The young woman tells the blonde man and opens her bun, which causes her long, white hair, slightly wavy, to fall over her shoulder. John carefully strokes a strand from her face, which is why it is even redder. He chuckles.

"You are so adorable when you turn red, Sky"

He chuckles before she punched his shoulder and snorted red.

"Pah!"

She says and turned even redder and looked like a tomato.

"You are so stupid!"

She calls before she punched him more, which is why he started laughing more.

"Idiot!"

She snorts and turns away from him, offended.

"Oh come on, Sky"

He laughs lightly and squeezes it.

"I know you don't mean it"

He pouts with dog eyes.

"Oh please stop looking like that, Watson!"

She says and hits him in the chest, which makes him giggle.

The two always did such nonsense and were branded as a married couple by the whole troop, because they only behaved that way and because sometimes they were just fighting. Yes, the two of them sometimes called each other by surname, but only when they were training or on duty. And if not, then they reminded each other to use her name. But sometimes they called themselves by their last name when they weren't in a good mood.

On other days, the two cooed like two freshly in love and on other days....it got loud in a tent of the two of them and the next morning they would be lying in a sleeping bag, hugged tightly. But the two always denied that they were in a relationship.

Always.

But we want to be honest. They are together no matter how many times they would deny it.

The white-haired woman has closed her eyes and is propping herself on the floor with her hands. She is 21 years young and has a temper that others would shake. For that, she coos and chuckles the other half of her time with John, which makes the others just roll their eyes or make a quick exit because it gets too sappy after all.

A gentle breeze blows through the trees, causing the pleasant smell of pine and resin to slowly spread over the square. The young woman's hair is blowing gently in the wind and bobbing back and forth. It was a sight to the gods, and the Doctor slowly melted away. For 1 year they had been in a secret relationship that wasn't so secret because everyone knew it, but they pretended it wasn't. His hand gently strokes hers before he wraps his hand over her bandage. He runs his thumb over the back of her hand and smiles as she sighs contentedly.

"I love you, John Watson..."

The young woman whispers gently and opens her eyes just to look into his.

"I love you too, Sky Richards"

He smiled gently before the two leaned forward for a gentle kiss.

It was short, but warmed up both of them, from the inside wonderfully and gave goose bumps run over their bodies. When they release the kiss, both of them blushed and chuckled.

"Nawwww how cute you are when you blush, Watson"

The young woman grins and giggles.

"I can only answer that, Richards"

He laughs lightly and presses a kiss on her cheek.

Oh the two were such a cute couple.

But the emphasis is on the word were.

The years passed, but something happened...

“John, you slept with her! You can't deny it !!!! She admitted it herself !! God, HOW CAN YOU ONLY!"

the white-haired woman cries in horror and does not look at her boyfriend. It's her birthday. On her birthday of all times, something like that had to come out. Her mood was ruined and her heart was broken.

"I wanted to tell you Sky, really!..."

He tries to explain, but is pushed away from her.

"You know, there are people who at least say" let's break up, I'm no longer happy in our relationship". But SOMETHING LIKE THAT! To do is under all dignity!! I never want to see you again, John! Goodbye!"

She exclaims angry and hurt, with tears in her eyes, and walks the other way.

"SKY PLEASE WAIT!"

He exclaims desperately, hoping she would turn around, but unfortunately it wasn't. It goes on and on. Ignore the voice calling after you.

She sniffs and sits down by a tree before she lets her tears run free.

"Damn it, that asshole!"

She thinks for herself and sniffs hard once.

Footsteps come towards her, but it's not Watson. Two slender arms grab the young woman and press her against a thin body. She hugs the person and starts crying.

"All good, I'm here"

Whispers the person in a soft voice.

"Jackson..."

The young woman whispers, broken and hugs the man.

“Everything will be fine, Sky. He's an idiot if he cheats on you with someone else"

The man whispers and presses her to his warming body.

She takes out all of her frustration and sadness and, in the end, is something broken.

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"John?"

A voice called, now for the 10th time. The doctor looks up into the eyes of the detectives.

"Yes?"

The blonde asked, blinking lost in thought.

"You thought about your past again, didn't you?"

Asked the detective.

"Yes..."

The blonde answered and ran his hand over his face.

"About the war and your injury?"

"Hm?....No no.... I...just remembered someone..."

"So? And to whom? "

"...to a colleague..."

"And what is the name of this colleague?"

"...Sky....Sky Richards..."

He said there was sorrow in his voice because he missed her. He had really lost it with her then. And he knew that, unfortunately.

Later at noon, Sherlock and John were walking the streets of London as a murder had occurred. Oh how enthusiastic the detective jumped up and sprinted out, glad that there was finally something to investigate again. Once at the scene of the crime, the evidence was first collected before turning to the corpse. It was a young man. He wore a uniform because he was a soldier. His throat was slit and his eyes were removed. Otherwise, he lay there as if he were lying in a coffin. The hands were on his chest, the legs were together, while the blood soaked his clothes.

"Where is he! Where's dean! Where is my husband!"

An angry young woman called and wanted to see her dead friend. Annoyed, the detective sighed and questioned the distraught woman.

"It's been a long time since we met, John H. Watson."

Said a clear and calm voice, which made the doctor look up.

"No......."

"Aren't you happy to see an old comrade again?"

"II thought you died when there was a shooting in your apartment.....Sky..."

To be continued ;)

<- previous Chapter

Sky

Ao3

Tagging: @cutelock, @peanitbear and @johnlock-and-merthur-4ever

#fanfiction #fanfic #bbc sherlock #Johnlock #John x Reader #John x co #john watson #james moriarty #jim moriarty #james moriarty x reader #James Moriarty x oc #andrew scott #sherlock x john #sherlock holmes #benedict #benedict cumberbatch #mycroft x oc #mycroft #mycroft x reader #mycroft holmes #martin #martin freeman

[adetectiveandadoctor]

Sources of Light and Warmth

 -- A Johnlock fanfic --

It's quiet. Calm. Peaceful.

Not hateful, though.

He has wrapped up his latest case only yesterday evening. No reason to be bored, not yet. Later, in the afternoon, another case will be nice, but right now, there's no need.

Contentedly, Sherlock readjusts his position in his chair slightly towards his left, relishing the warmth of the morning sun now touching the back of his neck.

There's another feeling though, that, unlike the boredom, should be present. Would've been present, only eight months ago.

A year ago from now, the sun wouldn't have been enough to warm him. A year ago from now, alone in his flat on Montague Street, he would have felt cold in spite of the sun.

However many experiments he would have come up with to conduct, the emptiness, the loneliness would have crept into his consciousness regardless. The sadness, the pain, would have wrapped themselves around his heart and lungs like a vice and squeezed until he could no longer breathe properly, until he would have been unable to think, until he would have wanted to scream and cry in agony.

He would have known that, however hard he may try, it would be impossible for him to always prevent himself from feeling hurt at people's remarks – because, in spite of whatever people may think of him, he is no psychopath. He would have known that, in all probability, he would never find someone who got him, someone he could share his work, his thoughts and feelings, his joys and sorrows, his life with, and who would want to share theirs with him in turn. That however much progress he might have already made – that even though he had managed to get rid of the drugs, had managed to find someone at Scotland Yard allowing him into crime scenes – that however hard he might fight, at some point, he might perhaps be no longer able to go on alone.

But now, there is another source of light and warmth in his life besides the sun, wrapping him up in a blanket of happiness, safety and love: John Watson.

Today, there isn't even a risk anymore of John storming out of the flat to “get some air” as he did one time, five months ago now. Over the course of the last few months, they've grown to understand each other completely, learned everything about each other and many things from each other. Sherlock is secure in the knowledge that, whenever they quarrel, as couples are sometimes wont to do, that John would never leave him, and that, whenever he goes out to “get some air” now, he goes to the park or the pub, and never to visit a woman.

Resurfacing from the recesses of his mind, Sherlock opens his eyes, refocusing his attention back on his surroundings.

The light streaming in from the two large windows behind him is bathing the whole flat in a rusty orange glow. John is moving around in the kitchen, clearing up their breakfast table and storing away plates and mugs that have accumulated in all sorts of places over the last few days. He is wearing his wine red cardigan and green chequered shirt, which shouldn't look attractive but does, and his brown leather belt that accentuates his hips as he walks. Stretching up to reach one of the higher shelves, a ray of light falls on his head, making his blonde hair twinkle and shine like wisps of straw on a field and his dark blue eyes sparkle like ocean waves.

How could he have ever been so lucky to meet such a man? A man who is both, a fighter, and a healer. A man who will always protect him, no matter what, and with whom he'll always feel safe, on the battlefield and at home.

He doesn't believe in any kind of magical or supernatural beings, in wonders or miracles, and yet there is absolutely no doubt that John, both his presence here and his existence as such, is a miracle.

Lifting his hands back up into a steepling position, and closing his eyes once more, Sherlock lets his mind drift back to the events of the previous day.

Roughly twisting his arms behind his back, bruising them and pulling his right shoulder in the process, his assailants had had him forced down on his knees.

He can still see the expression of surprise and shock on his would-be murderers' faces as John had appeared, from out of the shadows, pointing his gun at them, hands steady, fierce determination in his eyes.

He can still feel his body being flooded with adrenalin, his heart beating in his chest as they fought them off together...

John had been fantastic. As usual.

Being brought back to the present by the sensation of his own lips moving over the tips of his fingers – a smile must have formed in the corner of his mouth – Sherlock reopens his eyes to find John standing in the kitchen entrance, drying a mug with a towel and looking at him.

“What were you thinking about?” he asks, a warm smile passing over his face.

“You.”

“Me?”

“About yesterday evening. How you saved my life... How you always make me feel safe, wherever we are.”

John stops towelling and lets his arms sink down by his side.

“And... about the time before I met you... You know I don't believe in miracles and such things, but you... you are my miracle, John. The only one I'll ever believe in.”

John is coming over from the kitchen, dropping the mug and the towel into his own chair as he goes, crouching down in front of Sherlock.

Cupping the detective's face in his hands, he breathes, “And you mine. You mine, Sherlock.”

Weaving one of his hands into Sherlock's curls and the other – his right one, Sherlock notices, so as not to disturb my injury – around his back, John draws him in close and holds him, their cheeks coming to rest against each other.

Closing his eyes, Sherlock places his left hand on John's back, burying his fingers in the fabric of John's cardigan, and pressing them both tightly together.

After a while, Sherlock pulls back far enough to be able to look at John.

“I love you, John. So, so much.”

“I know, Sherlock. I know. I love you too.”

John kisses him. Long, tender and deep.

Eventually, slowly, with a gentle caress to Sherlock's bottom lip, he draws back.

After both taking a moment, John gives a nod towards Sherlock's shoulder. “How's it doing? Is it still hurting?”

“No, it's stopped now. As long as I don't move it, I don't notice.”

“Good, good. In a few hours, I'll put on some more ointment, alright?”

“Mmm... In the meantime, what do you think about going for a walk?”

“That'd be lovely.”

“And later, after we've come back here, lunch at Angelo's?”

“Perfect.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

This ficlet was inspired by an artwork, which you can find over here.

#bbc sherlock #sherlock #john watson #johnlock #fanfic #my fanfiction #my fanfic #hurt/comfort #vague allusions to #suicidal ideation tw #my works

[vulpesmellifera]

Fics I Read & Loved in February 2019

For January’s list, check it out here. 

I am super late with this, but I was very busy writing! I read a lot of fanfic in February in between writing my own, but I stuck with a lot of shorter pieces so that I could get back to my writing. I picked out my faves, and here they are:

To All the Lovers in the House Tonight by kedgeree. Mystrade. Mature. 15,950 words. Greg always gets his man, doesn’t he? 

Survey Says by involuntaryorange. Johnlock & Mystrade. G. 9,048 words. I got on a crackfic kick, and this was amazing. If you haven’t seen Family Feud, that’s fine, but it may help with the visuals. 

Corpus Hominis by mycapeisplaid. Johnlock. Explicit. 47,709 words. Gone to a hotel to investigate for Mycroft and there’s only one bed! I think the mounting tension between the two is the best part of this fic - and the payoff is sweet!

The I Know the Steps Series by stardust_made. Mystrade. Explicit. 37,394 words. This is great - Mycroft and Greg come to know each other - first from Mycroft’s POV, and then Greg’s.

Many Happy Returns by sussexbound. Johnlock. Explicit. 5,557 words. John wants to do something special for Sherlock on his birthday. I saw the Co-Bathing tag, and thought, “well, that’s interesting,” but sussexbound makes it work! 

Praise Me by testosterone_tea. Johnlock. Explicit. 4,204 words. Sherlock loves it when John gives him praise. John notices. Super sweet and hot.

Iris by slashscribe. Johnlock. Explicit. 11,948 words. John moves back to Baker St with his daughter Iris. Sherlock pines.

As The Stars of Heaven: Holmesian Reproductive Strategies by Tammany. Mystrade. Teen. 24,342 words. Mycroft decides he wants a family. Greg is sort of jealous. Well, really jealous. 

Home is Not a Place by sussexbound. Johnlock. Explicit. 15,614 words. This series is wonderful. John and Sherlock slowly open up to each other while John deals with internalized homophobia.

Queer Eye: Johnlock Edition by fellshish. Johnlock. Teen. 5,817 words. Crackfic! My favorite line: “Look, five gay guys came in and the first thing he did was lose his dressing gown like a fierce Beyoncé rising from the ashes. No way that boy’s straight.”

Enough is Enough by sussexbound. Johnlock. Explicit. 10,122 words. John is trying to manage his feelings, and shares some old hurts with Sherlock.

A Proper Marriage by afteriwake. Adcroft. G. 1,228 words. I can actually see this ship sailing, and this is a sweet ficlet. (I prefer Mystrade, but if I can’t have it, like when I’m shipping Sherstrade, I can see Adcroft.)

like a moth to a flame by egmon73. Mystrade. Mature. 12,343 words. Greg realizes that he’s attracted to Mycroft. How can he be 52 and just now attracted to a man???

Sweetheart by janto321 (FaceofMer). Mystrade. Explicit. 1,312 words. Mycroft thought it would just be sex between them.

Taking His Time by sanguisuga. Mystrade. Explicit. 8,040 words. Mycroft didn’t quite expect these developments with Greg Lestrade.

Thawing the Ice Man by sanguisuga. Mystrade. Explicit. 5,681 words. Mycroft and Greg get stuck at Baker Street one night and have to share a bed. It’s Christmas!

On The Dangers of Semi-Skimmed by loveanddeathandartandtaxes. Johnlock. Mature. 1,536 words. There’s wanking and innuendo. 

You’re What I Couldn’t Find by hubblegleeflower. Johnlock. Explicit. 6,454 words. This is so hilariously meta, and worth the read.

so let’s go to bed (before you say something real) by JenTheSweetie. Johnlock. Explicit. 18,492 words. John and Sherlock are shagging and that’s all. Then John gets hurt.

Boat Chase! by shamelessmash. Johnlock. G. 14,314 words. NINE NINE! Listen, if you watch Brooklyn 99, then this is the fic for you. If you haven’t watched Brooklyn 99, get thee to Hulu and start watching! It’s funny, it has a diverse cast, it’s LGBT-friendly (not everyone is out in the first season). And then come back here and read this and be in on the jokes and laugh yourself senseless! 

Valentine’s Day Ficlets:

Happy Valentine’s Day by sussexbound. Johnlock. G. All the feels on this one as Sherlock suggests retirement. 

Late Valentine by missselene. Sherlock/OMC. Explicit. This is part of the Sherlock & Sanjay series. If you haven’t read Entangled, it won’t make much sense. Sherlock and Sanjay celebrate Valentine’s Day in their way.

As I did for January, I will post my February 2018 fics as well, below the cut-off so this isn’t such a ridiculously long post!

I was still new to the fandom, so a lot of these are fanfiction faves/classics.

Cold Hands, Warm Heart by chasingriver. Mystrade. Explicit. 51,553 words. Mycroft gets forced into a family ski vacation. The ski instructor is hot!

So Full of Light by mydwynter. Mystrade. Explicit. 21,450 words. One of my favorite Xmas fics. Mycroft and Greg grow beards for a cause. And beards are hot. 

On Pins and Needles by 7PercentSolution & J_Baillier. Johnlock. Explicit. 598,196 words. I remember being wholly absorbed in this story. A debilitating disease befalls Sherlock, and John does what he can to be at his side. 

Damage Control by TheDevilsFeet. Mystrade & Johnlock. Explicit. 46,679 words. Mycroft and Greg go on a drive to extract Sherlock from a precarious situation. It has some very awkward moments, but they get to know each other better.

Sinking the Land by emungere. Mystrade. Explicit. 34,302 words. It started with random cock sucking. And then it gets even better. So good!

The Vampires of London by consultingdetective. Johnlock. Explicit. 72,660 words. Here we get to see some real BAMF John. Mysterious deaths have Sherlock in a tizzy. John knows what’s going on, and leads Sherlock on a dangerous adventure.

Working it Out by sideris. Johnlock. Explicit. 111,824 words. The cases on this one are fantastic. Sherlock finds himself struggling with feelings of attraction, arousal, and repulsion. John is trying to keep up, but he’s about had it. 

Beyond These Games by recreational. Mystrade. Explicit. 37,736 words. Greg wants to know about the man behind the voice. It gets complicated.

Mister Big series by L_Morgan. Mystrade. Explicit. 41,007 words. This is one of the sweetest Mystrade fics out there. And not fluffy sweet...just sweet. Well done.

Virtually Perfect by Random_Nexus. Mystrade. Explicit. 19,680 words. A great Mystrade fic! I’ve reread this one when I needed a pick-me-up. Mycroft and Greg meet over the internet.

Cracks in the Ice by Mice. Mystrade. Explicit. 31,739 words. This is fantastic. It takes Greg and Mycroft from pre-canon to post-Reichenbach, and the ending is such a surprise. 

And the Law Won by MofBaskerville. Mystrade. Explicit. 10,531 words. Mycroft has had a less-than-stellar experience with relationships, and breaks it off with Greg before those things can come to past. Greg isn’t happy about it. 

Pater Noster series by manic_intent. Mystrade. Explicit. 26,551 words. Good Omens AU! Mycroft is a demon and Lestrade is an angel. Things get tangled from there. 

For Services Rendered by Mottlemoth. Mystrade. Explicit. 10,582 words. Greg runs into someone at A&E on Christmas Eve. 

True Minds series by green_violin_bow. Mystrade. Explicit. A Jane Austen Persuasion AU! Need I say more?

Out of Thought  by green_violin_bow. Mystrade. Explicit. 89,323 words. A fabulous love story wherein a disbelieving Mycroft is pursued by a besotted Greg.

The North Wind’s Lord by Mice. Mystrade. Explicit. 7,931 words. An AU where Greg tries to find out why the winter won’t stop. Mycroft is an out-of-sorts sorcerer. 

The Habits of a Lifetime by out_there. Mystrade. Explicit. 54,234 words. One of my very favorite Mystrade stories. Mycroft is dealing with the aftermath of Sherrinford. 

A Safe Prisoner of His Fate by out_there. Mystrade. Explicit. 33,812 words. Young Mycroft is the captive of a dashing pirate. Yes please!

The Sad Divorced Bastards Club by out_there. Mystrade. Explicit. 19,987 words. Greg invites Mycroft to join a club. Mycroft accepts. I love out_there’s work!

Finding a Way series by MuchTooMerryMaidean. Mystrade. Mature. 116,152 words. This one is a difficult but wholly worthwhile read. TW for rape and rape recovery. I think this is a really important piece, though, the most genuine treatment of the topic in the fandom that I have come across - how rape impacts a person, but also the people around them. It also explores identity, politics of sex and gender, family relationships, and so much more. I’ve reread it twice now, and will probably reread again.

Performance in a Leading Role by mad_lori. Johnlock. Explicit. The very first AU I read! And then I was hooked on AUs! And if you haven’t read this, I don’t know what you’re doing here. Are you even serious about this? ;-)

Bonfire Heart by JessieBlackwood. Mystrade. Mature. 44,075 words. Greg is a surgeon, and Mycroft is a pain in the arse. Excellent story!

Clearly, I read a lot of Mystrade last February, and that’s because I got obsessed. Still my favorite Sherlock ship today!

Happy Sailing!

#sherlock fanfic #fanfic rec #mystrade #johnlock #johnlock fic rec #fanfiction #sherlock fanfiction #mystrade fic rec

[sherlockmormorrp]

Had the most amazing rp

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say STAND WITH HONG KONG AGAINST THE CCP!

You both like johnlock.

Stranger: [Cam! Boy Sherlock, y/c is a regular viewer. They've started DMing, and y/c requests special things for extra money. 19.] Hey, love. Haven't heard from you in a while... SH

You: Hey, sorry. Money has been kinda tight. I've missed seeing you. JW (25)

Stranger: Yeah? Everything okay, hun? SH

Stranger: I've missed you, too. SH

You: It's a long story. I didn't want to bother you. I know you've got other customers, your time is important. JW

Stranger: It is, but I've always got time for you x SH

You: I'm sure you say that to all your regulars. JW

Stranger: I do, but I mean it with you. SH You've been a regular for a year now. Can't say I haven't got a bit of a fondness for you. SH

You: Don't get my hopes up like that. I've already fallen for you. JW

Stranger: Aren't you sweet? SH I'm sure you can do far better than some boy in a shoddy flat in London. SH

You: Not really, well I've never been with any boys. JW Not..really out yet. I started looking at gay porn as I got curious and that how I found you. JW

Stranger: Really? SH With the things you've asked me to do, I figured you were a bit of a pro... SH

You: Just curious I suppose. And a bit imaginative. JW I like you. It's more real than porn, porn seems fake. But you're real. JW

Stranger: I'm definitely real. SH [...] I do hope Ive never hurt your feelings, knowing you're not my only client.. SH

You: I'm not a fool. I know this is a business. JW It's your job to make sad blokes like me feel special. JW

Stranger: You're not sad. SH Believe me, some of my clients are far, far worse. SH

You: Glad I'm not the worst. JW I'm sorry I can't send you anything. I won't be upset if you take me off your viewing list. JW

Stranger: I'm not taking you off my viewing list, John. SH Hard times are hard times. SH [Long delay, image attached of Sherlock sucking on a dildo] Here. To lift your spirits. No charge <3 SH

You: Christ, Sherlock, you're giving me a boner at work..JW You sure know how to cheer me up. You're too sweet. JW

Stranger: Figured you could use a pick me up. SH And eh, it's supposed to be Will when I'm working ;) SH

You: Oh, yeah-sorry. Will. JW I've always like your..real name better, can't help myself. JW

Stranger: I like it when you call me Sherlock. SH You're the only one that knows my real name. SH

You: Really? JW

Stranger: Yeah, really. SH

You: What'd I do to get the honor? JW

Stranger: [....] Made me feel special. SH That's supposed to be my job. SH

You: You are special. JW I'd make you feel special anytime, free of charge. JW

Stranger: Sap. SH .... Thank you, John. SH

You: Do you..ever ask for pictures of your clients? JW

You: Or do you prefer them to be names on screens? JW

Stranger: I've never asked for a picture before. SH But, I wouldn't mind seeing the man behind the mask, ha. SH

You: I just thought it'd be fair, I've seen so much of you. JW [Image attached; a selfie of John. A warm smile, dusty blonde hair and a maroon jumper]

Stranger: Oh, look at you! SH You're so cute! SH

You: Ha, thanks..I'm not too good at the whole selfie thing..JW

Stranger: You look great, John. SH Honestly, I was a bit afraid you were some 60 year old old man. SH

You: Oh, I'm sure you have 60-year-old customers, probably got a lot more money to spend than I do. JW I'm only 25, by the way. JW

Stranger: Oh, thank god. SH I'm sure I do, but they get to call me Will, and you get to call me Sherlock. There's a difference. SH

You: Well, you certainly make me feel special..JW

Stranger: You are, genuinely. SH You shouldn't be. It's bad for my work, you kow. SH But you are. SH

You: Oh? I'm bad for business, how so? JW

Stranger: Because I think about you far more often than I should. SH Was genuinely worried about you. SH

You: You're really the only person who'd notice if I went missing...JW

Stranger: Oh, come on, I'm sure that's not true. SH

You: No, it is. JW I haven't got anyone, my work would probably notice for a bit but would find someone to replace me rather quick. JW

Stranger: What about your family? SH

You: Only got my sister left, she'd be too drunk to notice. JW

You: Sorry, I'm only proving that I'm just another sad bloke. JW You're a cam model, not my therapist. I shouldn't be bothering you. JW

Stranger: I really don't mind. SH

Stranger: [....] I'd like to think you can talk to me, even when I'm not Will. SH

You: You're a lot more than Will to me. JW That's what scares me. JW

Stranger: I am? SH

You: Yes. JW

Stranger: [....] You're sweet, John. So sweet. sH

You: Not sweet, just a sappy fool. JW

Stranger: I think it's sweet. SH You're more than just a client to me. SH

You: What am I then? JW

Stranger: [....] Special. SH

Stranger: A friend, maybe. SH

You: I'd be honored to be considered your friend. JW

Stranger: Yeah? SH

You: Yeah. JW

Stranger: Thank you, John. SH

You: Of course. Sherlock. JW Thank you for talking to me, you made my day better, even without the photo. JW

Stranger: I'm glad. SH I really enjoy talking to you. SH

You: Me too. JW Do you do anything beside caming? JW

Stranger: I do. SH I play violin. I try to do uni, though caming doesn't pull in enough money for me to really succeed with that. SH

You: Violin? That's a beautiful instrument. I'd love to hear you play. JW I understand that I've been trying to work enough for Uni but it's never enough. Might go into the army, actually. Seems to be the only way I'll get medical training. JW

Stranger: Think you could handle the stress of the army? I know I couldn't. sH

You: Yeah, had a pretty strict father. I'm used to being yelled at. I'd like to have the training too. JW

Stranger: I suppose... SH I'd definitely miss you. SH

You: Well after Bootcamp I'd get my phone again. Only be unavailable if they deploy me. I'd send you letters, if you really wanted to hear from me. JW

Stranger: Yeah? SH I'd like that. SH

You: I'd like to have someone waiting for me..JW I'm still thinking it over, but with the way finances are looking. It might be my only option, unfortunately. JW I'd miss seeing you. JW

Stranger: I could send you pictures. Give you something to look forward to, hm? SH

You: I'd love that. Couldn't be anything..explicit. They check your mail as a soldier. But honestly, you're so handsome I'd just like to have a photo of your face. JW

Stranger: You're so sweet. SH

You: I mean it. You're gorgeous Sherlock. Your curls are probably my favorite thing about you..JW

Stranger: Yeah? SH [...] I've thought about you, sometimes. SH During my shows. SH

You: Thought about me how..? JW

Stranger: I think you can imagine. SH Even without me knowing what you look like. SH

Stranger: It's quite distracting. SH

You: I want to know. What exactly you were thinking. JW Were you thinking about me when you ride your dildo? JW

Stranger: God, yes. SH The vibrator, too. The purple one. It's bigger, I've always imagined... that it was you. SH

You: I'd love to do /everything/ to you, Sherlock. JW

Stranger: Yeah? SH I'd let you. SH Everything you've asked me to do. SH

You: Your arse is perfect, and the way you moan. I'd stop at nothing to hear you moan my name. JW

Stranger: Yeah? SH You should come by. SH

You: You mean it..?JW

Stranger: I do. SH If you want to, I mean. SH

You: I do, of course I do. JW I just..didn't think it was allowed. JW

Stranger: I shouldn't. sH But... I do a lot of things I shouldn't. SH Maybe... if you like it, we could even do it a second time, on camera. SH

You: On camera? Oh wow. Maybe..JW I can come by after work? JW

Stranger: Perfect. SH {address attached] I'm here. SH

You: Wow, I'm pretty sure I've had a dream about this..JW Is that lame, of me to say? JW

Stranger: Not to me. SH

You: Good, because I'm sure I'm only going to get lamer from here..JW

Stranger: You're sappy. It's cute. SH

You: Glad you think so. JW I should be getting off around 2, I'll stop by my flat and shower. Should be around maybe 4 or so, is that okay? JW

Stranger: That's perfect, yeah. SH I can order takeaway, if you want. SH

You: Sure. JW I can always eat. JW

Stranger: Perfect. SH

You: I'll see you at 4. xx JW John's heart was beating out of his chest. When Sherlock said he was special a part of him never really believed him. It was Sherlock's job to say things like that. To give blocks the illusion that he was into them, he was fairly certain though that Sherlock didn't invite clients over. He was special, he couldn't believe this was really happening. He hurried home, showered, shaved and put on after shave before he stopped by the corner store and got Sherlock flowers. He knew it was probably a bit much but hey Sherlock knew he was a sappy idiot and seemed to like it. On my way. JW John hopped into a cab and tried to keep his breathing even as he finally came to terms that he was about to meet Sherlock. The gorgeous boy he'd be watching and fantasizing about for a year.

You: (heres my email incase omegele acts up and disconnects : [email protected])

Stranger: Sherlock couldn't believe he'd just done that. He invited over a client! And sure, John was more than a client to him, but who was to say the man wasn't lying about the photo he'd sent? What if he was actually that 60 year old Sherlock had been afraid of? Still, it was too late now, he'd given him his address and he was on his way and oh /god/. Sherlock placed the takeaway containers down on the table, not even sure if John would like it, and began to pace, closing the door to his bedroom, which had quickly become his filming space. He had his toys laid out to make camming easier, and he had purple fairy lights that helped to make his scenery interesting, and he really wasn't sure he wanted John to see that. When he heard his door bell ring, he swallowed, moving to let the blonde in.

You: John's heart hadn't stopped thumping since he had read Sherlock's text inviting him over. He took a deep breath to steady himself before he rang the door bell. His heart skipped a beat when Sherlock opened the door. It was him-it was really Sherlock. He swallowed-his mouth suddenly dry. "You're..even more gorgeous in person..' he muttered. He blushed as he realized he must look like a big idiot, blushing and gocking over Sherlock with flowers in his hand.

Stranger: Oh, thank god, it was the same man from the photos. He was attractive, and sweet, and... "Oh, are those flowers? John, you really didn't have to." He insisted, ushering the man inside and taking the bouquet from him. "You're so sweet." No one had ever bought him flowers before, not ever. He really didn't know what it was like to be fully wooed and dated. If this is what it was like, it was nice. "I got us Chinese, I hope you don't mind. I didn't know what you liked, and I figured it'd be a bit awkward to just text you and be like hey, what do you want to eat, you know? So I just got chinese, and I hope you're not like a vegetarian or anything, but if you are that's totally fine, I'll just order something else, and-" And he was absolutely rambling. So badly. He forced himself to shut up as he took the bouquet and disappeared into his tiny kitchen, filling a vase with water and putting them in it. "Thank you."

You: John smiled as he heard Sherlock rambling-it was down right adorable really. And sort of a relief that he wasn't the only one nervous. In Sherlock's videos he was so confident and in control. This was welcoming- to realize Sherlock was just as nervous as he was. He found it a bit funny that Sherlock was worried about texting him and asking what he'd like to eat but was confident to do all sorts of things on camera, he supposed Sherlock and Will were really different. When Sherlock came back in he smiled, "Chinese is perfect. I'll literally eat anything so don't worry." he assured him. "I'm glad you like the flowers, I know it's a bit cheesy..but you had to expect I'd do something sappy." he joked.

Stranger: Sherlock and Will were more than just a little different. Will was confident and sexy and would do anything for a tenner, but Sherlock... well, he was shy, and he'd never had a boyfriend, never even really gone on a date. He was inexperienced with the romantic side of things, and he was awkward, and not nearly as graceful as he was when it was just about the sex. It was why he'd approached John with sex first, instead of just asking him for a date. At least John had gotten the message, though, right? He offered a smile as he took a seat on the sofa, motioning for him to sit down next to him. "I knew you would, but they're still super sweet. I love them."

You: John joined him on the couch looking around the flat briefly before he focused his attention back on the beautiful brunet in front of him. He couldn't help the idiotic smile plastered across his face as he stared at Sherlock. "Sorry-I'm just still in shock that I'm here..that you're here. " he admitted. They had spent so long talking and to finally be sitting in front of Sherlock was amazing. He wasn't entirely sure what to do or how to go about this, he was just glad to be here. He leaned against the sofa, "Smells good, what'd you get?" he asked.

Stranger: Sherlock blushed at the way John was smiling at him, shaking his head as he opened up the takeout containers. "Chicken, some rice. Some beef, too, since I didn't know what you'd prefer." He admitted with a sheepish grin, rubbing nervously at the back of his neck as he handed over some chopsticks to John. "Eat, eat. I've never really... done this before, but I figured dinner was a good start, right?" He offered, looking over at the older blonde. He was more attractive than his photo had made him look, honestly.

You: John nodded, "It's okay, I haven't done this before either." he assured him, not really sure what to classify this as. He gave Sherlock a small smile before he began eating. "I..guess I am special then. I..didn't really think you meant it.." he admitted, "I-I just figured you say that to everyone..." he blushed softly. "I wanted to believe it but..didn't want to get my hopes up."

Stranger: Sherlock offered a small smile, reaching over and placing his hand on John's thigh. He was nice, sweet, just like in his messages. It was really, really nice. "I told you, you're the only one that knows I'm Sherlock, not Will. You're the only one I"ve ever asked for a photo from. You're special, John." He insisted, blushing a dark red. He didn't open up like this, it felt foreign and strange, and he didn't know what the hell to do with it.

You: John smiled when he saw the blush on Sherlock's face, it was adorable. "I'm glad.." he muttered. He ate a few bites of his food and looked around before he spotted Sherlock's violin case. "Oh, you know I'm going to want you to play something for me one day, right?" he asked, smiling. "Did you learn as a kid?" he asked. John wasn't really in a rush for sex, he liked talking with Sherlock, they enjoyed one another's company. At least they had over texts, but even now it wasn't too awkward.

Stranger: Sherlock felt like he was fucking this all up. John was expecting exciting and comfortable, confident Will, and that just wasn't him. Well, it was, but not all the time, and certainly not now. Still, John didn't seem put off by it, and Sherlock was starting to feel at least a little better about it. When John asked about his violin, he perked up, nodding quickly. "I started learning when I was five. It helps me to think, you know? Real relaxing." He smiled, looking over at his violin case. "My neighbors complain sometimes, because I'll play at like, 2 AM, when I can't sleep."

You: John chuckled, "They should appreciate it. It's just a violen..should be soothing. I mean it's not like you're playing the drums at 2 am." he joked. "It's a beautiful instrument really...I've heard it's not an easy one to learn either." he ate a few bites as he listened to Sherlock talk. The other had a rather nice speaking voice, his voice was deep and /very/ sexy. He offered Sherlock his to-go box. "Want some?" he offered

Stranger: Sherlock smiled, taking his own chopsticks and grabbing out a piece of chicken. "Thanks." He mumbled as he popped it into his mouth and chewed. It was definitely good chinese food. "I'm glad you find it relaxing, I guess your sentiment isn't shared by my neighbors. As for it being hard... I guess it can be. I dunno, I started learning so young, it's like second nature." He admitted with a shrug. "But you never did tell me about what you like to do, when you're not viewing my shows."

You: John chuckled a small blush crossing his face. "Uhh I don't know I'm pretty boring. I work at lot..taking a few classes-whatever I can afford really." he answered. "I managed to get a job at a clinch..I'm only a medical assistant so I'm not really doing anything important but I get to work with doctors and they show me things here and there." he answered."Oh-I box. I guess that's interesting.." he shrugged. "I box here and there..just to work out."

Stranger: "You box?" Sherlock turned to face John, taking his own to go container and eating as he listened to the blonde. "You never told me about that. Guess it explains your muscles, hm?" He winked, chuckling. "How long have you been doing that?"

You: John smiled when Sherlock complimented him, amazed the other found him attractive at all. He chuckled, "uh..since I was in high school. I played rugby. Some of the blokes invited me to the gym and I gave a go at the punching bag a few times. Had a knack for it and just kinda found my way into it. It's a good way to know how to protect yourself." he explained, not adding that he'd needed to learn how to properly block his fathers drunken swings.

Stranger: Sherlock nodded. He could tell there was something else there, with how John's gaze went far past him for a moment, but he decided not to comment on it. At least not for now. He didn't want to scare him off, after all. "That's great. Bet you're great at it." He smiled, and for once he felt himself actually relaxing around the blonde. Sure, he wasn't used to all of this, but John was /nice/. He really did make him feel special. "Maybe I'll come watch you box sometime."

You: John smiled and nodded, "Really? I'd like that." he placed his to-go container on the coffee table in front of him. "That was really good. Way better than the Chinese place I have near my flat." he smiled, satisfied and full without stuffing himself. John looked around, "Where's your loo?" he asked

Stranger: "Ah, down the hall. First door on your right." He said, motioning towards the hall that led to his bedroom. It was a tiny flat, it was, but it did him fine. It worked for his camming, and when he was able to do classes, it worked for studying, which was all he really needed.

You: John nodded and stood up, he needed a quick bathroom break. He washed his hands once he was done and stared at himself in the mirror, anxiously fixing his hair and trying to calm himself. He could do this, he'd fantasized about Sherlock for so long and now it was truly happening. He could not fuck this up. He came back out and smiled, "Thanks for dinner, Sherlock." he hummed

Stranger: Sherlock made himself anxious all over again when John disappeared inside of his bathroom. He was doing fine, this was fine, and if John wanted sex, he knew how to do that. He just hoped that the man would like whatever they did. He wanted things to be good between them. He stood when John came back into the living room, nodding quickly. "Yeah, of course. Sorry about the rambling and everything, I just get a bit nervous, sometimes." He admitted with a shrug. "You're not leaving already, are you?"

You: John shook his head, "Course not-not unless you're kicking me out." he joked. He came over and stood in front of Sherlock, taking the other's hand softly. "Don't be sorry. You're cute...and not the only one nervous." he assured him. "Honestly I nearly puked on the way over here." he admitted, cracking a smile as he did so.

Stranger: Sherlock couldn't help but chuckle at the idea of John being that nervous, shaking his head as he stepped just a little closer to John. "Well, I'm glad I'm not alone, but you don't need to be nervous. I'm not nearly as intimidating as I seem to be online." He teased, moving to press a kiss to the older man's cheek. He didn't want to push things too far and scare John off, but he had been telling the truth earlier, he'd been thinking of John for a long time.

You: John smiled at the kiss on his cheek, Sherlock was certiantly very different than the man he'd met online. Will said and did very dirty things with so much confidence that he commanded attention. He was in his element and it was intrancing. -But Sherlock. Sherlock was nervous and more than the act he put on for his show. John had convinced himself that Sherlock had said all those nice things because he had to, but he was quickly realizing that he was something to Sherlock and he never felt so important. He smiled, "Do you want to go grab drinks? I..know I'm a client and all..but I didn't come over just to have sex and leave." he explained. "I know..our meeting was based on your body and..sex but that's not the only thing you are to me. I hope you know that."

Stranger: Drinks. John wanted to get drinks. Maybe that would help Sherlock to not be so nervous, maybe it'd make the Will in him come out more. "I know, John. I do. You wouldn't have brought over flowers if all I was to you was sex." He teased, but there was sincerity there. John was so, so kind, he truly didn't know how to show him how much he appreciated the kindness. "I think drinks is a wonderful idea, though."

You: John smiled softly, he wasn't entirely sure what he was to Sherlock. He'd assured him that he was special but what did that mean? Did Sherlock want more than sex...? What was the brunette wanting out of all of this? John didn't dare ask, afraid of the answer. He nodded, smiling as Sherlock agreed to drinks, "Get your coat." he hummed.

Stranger: Sherlock didn't have an answer himself as to what he wanted from John. He hadn't been thinking when he'd invited him over, he'd just done it, and now... well, he had feelings for the blonde, that much he knew. Anything past that... it was all foreign to him. He hadn't dated since Victor, and that hadn't turned out well, he'd used drugs, and he was still recovering from that, but John was so kind, and nice, and he did want /something/ more than a professional relationship with him. At the direction, he nodded, going into his bedroom for a moment and coming out with his coat on, and shoes as well. "Alright. There's a pub not far from here, we can head there?" He offered, following John to his front door.

You: "Sounds good to me, lead the way." he smiled. As they walked John wanted to take Sherlock's hand. He had a lump in his throat just thinking about it. Usually, he was so forward, especially with women. He'd dated and slept with many women-nothing ever lasting very long but he was known as some kind of ladies man. Yet with Sherlock he felt..so nervous. Like he was a kid again. He finally got the courage to reach for Sherlock's hand. Mentally preparing himself for Sherlock to drop it just as quickly.

Stranger: Sherlock looked down when John took a hold of his hand, his cheeks burning as he smiled. That was... nice. He couldn't remember the last time someone had just held his hand, but it felt nice. John's hands were bigger than his own, and a bit rougher, but warm, and nice. He smiled up at John, keeping a hold of his hand as he led the way to the pub. Once they got there, he opened the door for the both of them, keeping a hold of his hand as they walked straight up to the bar. "What do you like to drink, then?"

You: John felt a wave of relief wash over him when Sherlock kept their hands linked together. This was a big step for him, holding another blokes hand in public. He'd slowly been coming to terms with his bisexuality and was proud to hold Sherlock's hand in public. He looked over everything before he shrugged and ordered a beer to start. "What's your drink of choice?" he asked

Stranger: He should have figured John was a beer guy. He turned towards the bar, looking over everything before he ordered himself a cocktail. Something fruity, with about six different kinds of alcohol. He had never been a beer fan. "Anything with vodka is typically what I go for." He laughed, looking down when he realized their hands were still linked together, between the bar stools.

You: John got out his card to pay for the first round of drinks, he turned to look at Sherlock, "You want to sit at the bar or grab a booth?" he asked, letting go of the others hand only to sign the receipt. He thanked the bar tender as he was handed their drinks and handed Sherlock his. "I usually start with a beer or two..then maybe get a jack n coke." he explained.

Stranger: "Booth would probably be better. Not as loud." Sherlock nodded, taking the cocktail from John's hand and looking around. "Jack and cokes are nice. I typically drink with the plan to get drunk, if I'm honest, so I'm used to things that work fast." He laughed, taking a hold of John's hand again and leading him towards a booth near the wall of the bar. It was quieter over here, and he did in fact want to hear what John had to say. "Not to say I plan on getting drunk or anything, I don't, I just mean like, in general, you know? I wouldn't come out with you just to get wasted, I swear." Oh, god, he was definitely rambling again. He shut himself up with a drink of his cocktail as they each took a seat, hoping that the alcohol would at least make him less nervous.

You: John smiled when Sherlock took his hand again and lead him to a booth with some privacy. He smiled as he heard Sherlock ramble again, he just smiled and slid in the booth beside him. "You're really cute, you know that." he smiled. He thought he was going to be the one fumbling to keep up with Sherlock. "I know what you meant" he assured him, giving him a playful wink. "I think the last time I got..truly drunk was probably 2 years ago." he chuckled, "I don't really drink often." he explained, with his father and sisters history he'd always sort of had a fear of becoming an alcholic.

Stranger: Sherlock nodded, glad that John understood, though his cheeks did burn a little when John called him cute. "That's sweet of you." He smiled, taking another drink of his cocktail before he forced himself to relax, leaning against John's side once they were both sat down. "I don't get drunk as often as I made it sound, but when I do get a chance to do classes, the few friends I have usually want to get cocktails after. It can be nice."

You: John smiled when Sherlock leaned against him. He brushed their knees together, "It's good to destress now and then. I'm taking Microbiology right now and..God that class definitely makes you want to have a few." he joked. He sipped his beer before setting it down. "When you do take classes, what are you going for?" he asked.

Stranger: Sherlock laughed at that, his hand moving to rest on the other man's thigh as he allowed himself to relax. This was nice, wasn't it? Being on a date, at a pub, just having /fun/. It was good. "Forensics, actually. I'd like to be a detective." He shrugged, tracing patterns onto John's jeans to distract himself. "They're interesting classes, even if I do already know most of the material."

You: "A detective? Wow...that does sound interesting. You're really bright." he smiled, he could tell Sherlock was relaxing a bit more and he was glad the other felt comfortable enough to be himself. "What kind of forensics..I know there are different kinds like financial forensics and stuff like that but when I think of forensics I think of homicides."

Stranger: Sherlock was quick to nod, trying to ignore the blush that just would /not/ go away. He wasn't used to compliments that didn't come through a screen, and it was hard, to accept them. "Homicides is exactly it, yeah. Well, that's what I want to do, anyway. They're fascinating. Not like. Not like I think the killers are fascinating, though I kind of do, with wanting to know why they did it and all, and how, but I'm not like. Obsessed." He took another drink to silence himself, shaking his head at himself. He needed to stop with the rambling before he embarassed himself.

You: John smiled, he could tell Sherlock was passionate about this. "I understand. I watch the crime shows too, don't worry. It is interesting..hearing how they solve the cases and I've even watched some documentaries about serial killers. It's fascinating hearing those people explain themselves." he looked Sherlock over. "That will be an interesting job." he hummed.

Stranger: Sherlock nodded, looking up in time to see John look him over. Oh, that felt... nice, honestly. To have someone interested in him, and not just through the computer. "I think so. Think Scotland yard could use someone who actually knows what they're doing. Have you seen some of their detectives? Bloody idiots." He shook his head, rolling his eyes. "I tried to sneak into a case once, it was a double homicide and it was fascinating. They pushed me out before I could even get a good look, though."

You: John chuckled, "You've got to be careful, they'll think you're the one who did and you're trying to get a second look at your work." he joked. He squeezed the others hand, "Don't worry, you're young. You've got plenty of time to get through school then you'll get to see plenty of double homicides." he chuckled. (do you continue rps? I absolutely LOVE this. But its already 3 in the morning for me )

Stranger: [We can try but i'm absolutely TERRIBLE at remembering to respond to emails, and that's the only place I continue them]

You: (my heart ;(. Well it's up to you! I'd hate to see this die but I am very active on email and respond quickly! )

#cam!Sherlock #johnlock #johnlockrp #cam!lock

[cupidford]

I didn’t have time to put up a list of the fics I read and wanted to rec in October - so here is a MEGA list of the best 39 fics from the last 2 months that I’d love to share! ~654k...over half a million words of Johnlock-love to read? Hell yeah!

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙

Whiteout by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John 😍🗻

A documentary crew follows an aerial rescue team as they save patients on a mountain. Mountain Rescue Expert Sherlock, Paramedic John. 37k

One Good Scare by blueink3 😍🎃

Mummy invites Sherlock, John, and Rosie to the country for her birthday, which just so happens to coincide with the annual Harvest Festival. Jealousy and misunderstandings ensue.17k

Uphill by scullyseviltwin 😍⛷️

Sherlock is striving for gold in his fourth and final Olympics as a downhill Alpine racer. Olympic skier Sherlock, medic/physician John, Sochi. 85k

The Heart of a Pirate by StarlightAndFireflies ❤️⚓

A historical AU in which Sherlock is a pirate and John is a sailor who is accidentally taken aboard his pirate ship after an attack. 66k

Shiloh by FinAmour1969 ❤️👻

Jacob has always seen ghosts, and he meets Shiloh, a ghost, However, the two of them have always been in each other's lives, in every life. 5k

Dust and Ashes by Atiki ❤️

Ever since he was little, bones spoke to John in the night. The only bones that don't speak, are Sherlock's. 10k

Bring Me a Dream by lotherington ❤️

Magic Realism. After the fall, Sherlock becomes a sandman. He crafts dreams for John and tries to find his way back home. 6k

The One Where Sherlock Doesn’t Ruin John’s Holiday by nutmeag83

John wins a cruise vacation for two and brings Sherlock along. But when it turns out to be a couples cruise, they have to pretend to be a couple themselves (for science). 19k

Heart's Desire by 88thParallel (CanadaHolm)

After a tragic loss, John is surprised when he finds love again. After a lifetime of illness, Sherlock finally feels his heart truly beat for another. 21k

Kissing in the Name of... by juliairian

Did you know that kissing transmits healthy bacteria? Well now Sherlock knows, too, and is off on a new experiment. 22k

Grave Wax by CatieBrie

Sherlock solves his own murder. (Hopeful ending) 7k

The Paper Of His Skin by teahigh

Magic Realism, The first time John paints him, it's almost three in the morning and he's drunk on red wine. 5k

Imagines Moti (Series) by SwissMiss

The stories of our lives are written on our skin. Magical realism - tattoos. 10k

Broken Substitutes by zarah5

RDJ/Ritchieverse. ACD. Death and loss, hurt and comfort, Moriarty, drugs, addictions and sex that is a means to an end, until it isn’t anymore. Holmes comes back after hearing of Mary's death. 34k

Whatever you say, Gobbo by Ewebie

“I purposely get your coffee order wrong just so you’ll talk to me again” AU Coffeeshop/Cafe, balletlock, rugby/barista John. 5k

The Deepest Secret Nobody Knows by Raina_at

Post TRF. Sherlock is back. Now all he has to do is get back his Blogger. 8k

Becoming Watson and Holmes by black_rose_blade

Parentlock, post s4, A short story about Sherlock and John finally getting together. 30k

When He Sees Me by itsalwaysyou_jw

John's attempt to meet men at a club has failed spectacularly. A handsome stranger outside the club ensures that his night is far from over. 4k

Through the Maelstrom by BenAddictViolaBatch

John Watson is a doctor who meets a gorgeous British violinist in a chance encounter in Kansas City in 1977. 34k

Other Side of The Moon by love_in_mind_palace (mysleepyhead)

After the fall, everything going according to plan, but Sherlock's suddenly just too late everywhere. It’s John. Avenging his death. 23k

The Stars Move Still by BeautifulFiction

Magical demon-summoner Sherlock sells his soul to allow John to live. 96k

Figments by blueink3

What if Sherlock had returned after The Fall six months earlier? 7k

Songs Out of Emptiness by harlequindreaming (wordstruck)

John Watson dies, and Sherlock Holmes finds a new way to use his violin. Greek Mythology, Orpheus/Eurydice. Sad ending. 3k

Forward by johnwatso, Salambo06

"If I could do it all again, I'd make sure it was what it could have been. Sooner, that is." Confessions by the fireside after a tough case. 7k

Empty Houses by Raina_at

Sherlock comes back to Baker Street, and John is gone. 7k

A Man's Best Friend by unicornpoe

John does know him; Sherlock is not subtle when it comes to dogs. 3k

Just in Time by addicted2hugh

What if John visited 221b one last time before asking Mary to marry him? What if Sherlock was home, rehearsing his "I'm back" speech? 3k

The Internal Temperature of an Average Sauna by zigostia

It's cold. Sherlock joins John in his bed. 2k

At Longhall Drift by tweedisgood

ACD/Victorianlock. Norse Mythology. Our heroes meet a legend (perhaps), take a train journey in midwinter and complete a more personal journey. 6k

The Last Summer by CumberCurlyGirl

Sherlock lovingly cares for a bedridden John in their Sussex cottage. John reveals that he's always wanted to grow a beard. (Major character deaths, suicide, heart failure, sad ending but together). 3k

Dreams & Dalliances by thegoatlady

After The Great Game, John has nightmares. Sherlock tries to comfort him and joins him in sharing his bed. 12k

Third Date by Calais_Reno

John Watson dates a lot of women, but never gets beyond the Third Date. Sherlock solves it. (Jealous John). 4k

❤️🧡💛💚💙Honourable Mentions🧡💛💚💙💜

Warmth by bumbleholmes

John moves back to 221b with Rosie, and (mostly) everything is soft and gentle and warm. 21k

Unimaginable Happiness by WhereDoYouWantMe

John Watson is getting married and Sherlock is there to see him off. 6k

Lord, What Fools by Calais_Reno

Cupid mike, mythology, A night of madness may not make England fall. But it may bring together a consulting arse and an irresistible army doctor. 10k

you alone that i care to keep by subtext-is-my-division (Quill_Angel)

Established relationship, Each time John leaves, Sherlock feels the familiar gaping holes. When he comes back, oh. John finds all of this aching, raw holes and stitches him back together. 5k

History Rewritten by sans_patronymic

ACD, victorianlock, 1920--The Great War has ended and Sherlock Holmes has settled into country retirement with his lover and his brother. Established relationship. 5k

Five Times by good_old_days

There are endless ways to fall in love. Watson can count at least five. ACD/Downey films. 1k

Dead Man Walking by positivelymeteoric

Magical Realism. Everyone had a gift. John Watson could wake the dead. 5k

#fic rec #fic recs #these are like...half the fics I actually read so bc im too obsessed

[susandwrites]

2018 Fic Year In Review

Tagged by @sherlockedcarmilla - I’m so glad we’re fic friends now!

This is going to be a little difficult because I haven’t written a ton of fic this year - I took a bit of an accidental hiatus, but jumped back into AO3 with both feet, desperate for more Sherlock. Anything Sherlock.

Total completed stories: Only three this year, but two unfinished.

Total word count: 32788

Fandoms written in: Sherlock

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? More, actually. This year in fic writing sort of took me by surprise. I wrote a novel for a friend of mine (in proofing now) which took a ton of time and effort. But I found that when I was done with the novel, I was sort of on a roll and wanted to write some stuff that wouldn’t stress me out. Johnlock does this.

What’s your own favorite story of the year? I’m gonna say... Fallen Through Time. Not done yet, but I am thoroughly enjoying writing it and thinking my way through it.

Did you take any writing risks this year? I always feel like writing itself is a risk. Especially writing erotica because you have to swallow down the fact that now everyone knows what you know about sex and kinks and things that people don’t talk about. But, honestly, I love the feeling of strength and empowerment I get from writing and talking about things that people pretend are taboo, but are so eager to experience.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? My personal writing goals are pretty lofty: as soon as my novel from 2018 gets edited, I’m going to search for an agent and try to get it published. I’m also already working on a sequel, which I would like to finish by February for my friend’s birthday. Fanfic-wise, I plan on finishing Fallen Through Time as well as possibly going back to an old fic called The Love of a Child. And I have a few AUs in mind, including but not limited to Die Hard and The Greatest Showman.

Best story of the year? I’ll say Fallen Through Time again. I’m just proud of how it’s going so far.

Most popular story of the year? A tie between Fictober 2018 and Fallen Through Time at 984 hits in 2018. But since I finished The Adventure of the Swinging Hips a few days ago, it has climbed to a whopping 2,412!

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: The Adventure of the Swinging Hips. I actually had a bit of a comment battle (which has since been deleted) regarding whether or not I was remaining true to Sherlock and John’s voices. Obviously, I felt that I did, but I got some snark about Sherlock and John and who should be on top and what type of sex they’re having. All that being said, I feel like this story doesn’t get enough notes, but that’s probably because I had so much fun writing it.

Most fun story to write: Swinging Hips again. I listen to the playlist almost constantly and - while it is marked complete for now - I plan on eventually adding more chapters. Imagining Sherlock and John dancing about, loving each other in a myriad of little ways, expressing themselves through music... It just warms my heart.

Most unintentionally telling story: Probably Trimmed in Red. It’s angsty and was VERY hard to write, even though it’s pretty short. While I’ve never taken drugs (of any sort), trying to put myself in Sherlock’s mindset was emotionally difficult because of my own clinical depression and what I suspect might be ADHD. I struggle so much with my own memory and emotions - since there was a time in my life when I was so sad, it is easy to forget things because of the way I felt at the time. But I don’t want to forget moments in my life - they led me here.

Biggest disappointment: Ugh - I just could not finish the Fictober challenge on time. It’s STILL a wip! I will say that I am a bit of a masochist - most people treat each prompt as an opportunity for stand-alone ficlets, which is the sane decision. I, however, decided for some godforsaken reason to make each prompt the start of a chapter in a long-ass, full-blown fic. Now, in my defense, I was finishing a novel in October and treated Fictober as a bit of stress-relief. But I really like the direction in which the story is going and I am going to finish it, come Hell or high water.

Biggest surprise: Just & Loyal, a conversation between John and Sherlock regarding their respective Hogwarts House sorting. I finally started listening to the Three-Patch Podcast (AMAZING!) and in their first episode, their discussion about characters’ sorting was entertaining, but - as a hardcore Hufflepuff - I was disappointed that they decided emphatically that Sherlock would never be a Hufflepuff. We’re great! Don’t underestimate the Badger! Anyway - I cannot believe the number of notes this little ficlet got on Tumblr. It is so encouraging to see people liking and commenting. I love you guys!

I can hardly believe how much fun I’ve had after throwing myself into fanfic at the end of the year. It is so wonderful to be affirmed and supported, especially by people I’ve never met, and for what I consider My Work. I have a day-job, but writing is what drives me. What sustains me. Letting off steam while writing a novel or two and getting to be creative feels so great and the love and support I’ve been getting just gives me the boost of confidence I need.

Ok, tagging time. I’ll go with @cellard00rs and @nofate88, if you guys haven’t already done this. Love and kisses!

#2018 fic year in review #2018 year in review #year in review #ao3 #johnlock #susandwrites #sherlock #bbc sherlock #sherlock holmes #john watson #johnlock playlist #fanfic #fanfiction #profic #support independent writers #2018 #fallen through time #the adventure of the swinging hips #fictober 2018 #johnlock au #let's keep this going #i love you all

[majiksart]

The ultimate OTP Advent Calendar

This is an advent calendar for the OTP’s of me and my friends. Odd numbers are Marvel OTP’s and even numbers are for other OTP’s. So everyday you’ll get a drawing and a story, that you can find below :) x

Day 01 - Stony Day 02 - Drarry Day 03 - Winterwidow Day 04 - Superbat Day 05 - Les Hawkeyes Day 06 - Destiel Day 07 - Clintasha Day 08 - Johnlock Day 09 - Frostiron Day 10 - The Impossibles Day 11 - Science Bro’s Day 12 - Merthur

Day 12 - Merthur

Arthur takes a deep breath. He could totally do this. One day he is going to be a king! This shouldn’t be more difficult than the responsibility he has then. But still Arthur is incredible nervous and his stomach is upset, too at this point.

„Arthur? You wanted to see me?“

Merlin comes in and his blue eyes seems a bit worried. Arthur just stares at him and can’t help but smile, when Merlin nearly falls on his ass, because he trips on the last step.

„Yeah actually. Thank you for coming.“ Arthur says then and he shakes his head at himself. Normally he doesn’t really have problem with asking for the things he wants.

Now he wants Merlin and he can’t even get a straight word out. Arthur looks away, because he knows he will do something stupid if he looks even longer at Merlin, like blushing or something like that.

„So what’s going on? Do you …I don’t know why you called for me. I would’ve been here in an hour anyway.“ Merlin says and he shrugs as if it were nothing. But Arthur knows him too long for that. He knows that Merlin actually very worried about his friend.

Arthur smiles. Friends. In the beginning he would’ve never guessed that. And now…

Now he wants even more than that.

„It is… something important. Do you mind if we take a walk?“ Arthur asks and he closes his eyes for a moment. Did he really suggest they go for a walk? Arthur seems to find, that he doesn’t mind, when he sees Merlin’s smile.

„Yeah we can do that. Let me just grab my coat.“ With that words Merlin leaves him alone for a few minutes and Arthur tries to get his coolness back. It doesn’t work. He is just too nervous.

He only realizes he is still wearing part of his chain armor, because he exercised earlier. Normally Arthur feels a bit tired, after such a morning, but today he is fully awake. And a bit crazy apparently.

„Ready?“ Arthur asks, once Merlin is back and after a nod from the wizard they leave Arthur’s rooms. Arthur goes in front of Merlin and takes them to a small path, that he always follows, when he needs to think.

„So I just have to ask… are you okay?“ Merlin asks, once they walked for over ten minutes in silence. Arthur glances back for a second and sees the light blush on Merlin’s cheeks. It’s actually pretty cold and Arthur looks quickly forwards again.

„Yeah of course.“ Arthur answers and he hopes, Merlin doesn’t hear his voice cracking. Oh god. What is he 14 again?

„Well you just seem a bit weird. And I should know that, because normally I’m the weirdo.“ Merlin says and Arthur stopes so hard at that, that Merlin runs directly into his back. Arthur turns around and this close he can see how blue Merlin’s eyes really are.

„You aren’t a weirdo.“ Arthur says then and he frowns. Merlin just laughs at that and he puts both of his hands on Arthur arms. For a moment Arthur wants to lean even closer and finally kiss Merlin, but at the end, he doesn’t. Merlin closes his eyes and a moment later Arthur feels incredible warm again, even though he knows how cold the wind is.

„Oh pretty sure I am.“ Merlin whispers, but he doesn’t sound sad or unhappy, so Arthur let’s it go for now. He doesn’t want to fight with Merlin, but one day he would make sure that…

„Stop talking about yourself like that. You aren’t weird, you are… you are the king this country deserves.“ Arthur can’t help himself, he has to say it. Since he is a little kid he waited for his turn to be king. He loves the idea of being a king. But he also knows Merlin would be a better one, than he can ever be.

„What - Arthur now you are really scaring me!“ Merlin says and Arthur takes a step back. Merlin’s hands not longer on his arms. He can’t think this close to Merlin.

„I mean it Merlin. I just… wish you could be the King one day.“ Arthur says finally and he looks down. He knows his father would kill him, if he suggested that. But he just wishes he could marry Merlin. Merlin Pendragon. Arthur chuckles.

„Maybe you should sit down.“ Merlin suggests and Arthur shakes his head. He isn’t ill or crazy. But that is just another thing… what if not only his father hates the idea of two man? What if Merlin hates that too? What if he never speaks to Arthur again, to disgusted to even look at him.

„Hey.“ Merlin says softly, when he sees how nervous Arthur is. This time he puts his hand on Arthur shoulder and Arthur can’t help it, even if he doesn’t feel it through his chain armor, he shudders.

„Are you still cold?“ Merlin says, when he notices that and he frowns so adorable again. Arthur will never understand why a man like Merlin could be ever worried about him. Arthur doesn’t even deserve his kindness.

„No I’m just…“ Arthur takes Merlin’s hand in his and then puts his over his heart. Merlin can’t feel his heartbeat, but maybe he understands Arthur anyway. If there is one person out there, who understands Arthur, even when he doesn’t understand himself, then it’s Merlin.

„…nervous.“ Arthur finishes and Merlin looks surprised. His eyes are focused on their hands, but he smiles a bit.

„Nervous? Why?“ Merlin whispers then and it takes Arthur’s whole courage, but he pulls at Merlin’ hand again and leads it to his mouth. He kisses Merlin knuckles carefully and he hears when Merlin gasps quietly.

„Because of you.“ Arthur whispers just as quietly and Merlin’s eyes widen once again. He looks really shocked this time and Arthur just kisses his knuckles again.

„I’m… uhm I’m nervous too… about you.“ Merlin stutters then and this time the blush on his cheeks isn’t because of the cold weather. No. Arthur put it there.

He knows what Merlin wants to say with that and he nods. Merlin smiles back at him and they just stare into each others eyes for a few minutes. Arthur laughs and breaks the eye contact. God he feels so happy now. He can hear Merlin’s laugh and even though he starts walking again, he doesn’t let go of Merlin’s hand.

He would never let go of Merlin.

#merthur #merthur fanart #merlin x arthur #arthur x merlin #my advent calendar #advent calendar #ultimate otp advent calendar

[forest-jay123-blog]

DAN AND PHIL IN THE DARK

WARNING:explicit sex scenes
DAN BOTTOM PHIL TOP -Dan and Phil are at their house when all of a sudden the power turns off (dan is afraid of the dark) what will dan do? And how will phil help him? One must truly wonder.-
 It was late at night, dan looked at the clock on the laptop it read 9:14 PM. He already knew he was in for another night of the deep Tumblr; which basically was all the fanfics and edits people did with their OTPs. He was scrolling when all of a sudden he noticed that phil walked into the living room with a bowl of cereal HIS CEREAL…. “Really phil again with taking my cereal.” Dan said dramatically “What…. I ran out of mine and you always have my favorites ready.” Phil said trying to seem innocent “Phil how many times have I told you get your own cereal.” Dan replied sarcastically In reality though dan loved it when phil took his cereal it meant they had the same taste in things, and phil may not know but Dan always got phils favorite on purpose just so he could have something to bicker about with him. "I try but the store is soooooo far and I’m to lazy to go outside….plus it’s OUTSIDE THE OUTSIDE KILLS.” Phil said dramatically again with a sort of exaggerated voice "Whatever next time at least ask.” Dan said to Phil rolling his eyes "Ok….” phil said lightly, he slowly saw phils face lift into a smile Dan now wondered if phil purposefully took his cereal so he could be noticed or something. Dan felt his face lift into a small smile and went back into his laptop, he felt phils gaze upon him as he went to turn on the tv. Phil put a tv show him and dan liked and immediately sat next to dans feet curling up into a little ball, he then started eating his cereal. Dan was reading some Johnlock and decided he rather watch this tv show with phil then read the fanfic, so he shut the laptop off and placed it on the coffee table then he laid up straight and put his elbow on the arm rest. Dan felt phils toes curl up as the tv show got more dramatic and it sent a wave of pleasure and happiness towards dans heart. Dan shuddered a little and couldn’t help but blush, he slowly felt his face heat up and could tell that his cheeks were probably red. Phil looked at dan and noticed "Hey are you ok? Your face is kinda red.” Phil asked worried “Yeah I’ll be fine I’m gonna get some water though, do you want any?” Dans said trying to hide the crack rising in his voice Dan knew it was a stupid question to ask since phil had a bowl of cereal with milk but he was trying to be polite. "Um no I’m good I got cereal,” phil shook his bowl lightly in his lap “oh but if you don’t mind can you put this in the sink for me.” Phil said with his light blue eyes that always struck dans heart. Dan never could deny phils requests even if they were stupid because dan would always get happy when he saw phil happy. That smile that could stop anyone in their tracks the hair that looked like a lions mane and the pale skin that always looked bright against his dark black hair. “Yeah I got you.” Dan said with a big smile he felt his face calm down as he walked toward the kitchen he banged against the glass door and felt a wave of pain and shock, "Ugh!” Dan said loudly He always forgot about that dumb door. He opened it with his free hand and placed the bowl into the sink and walked to the fridge to get a bottle of water. He started thinking that he since he loved phil so much wouldn’t it be ok to already tell him since they already acted like a married couple. However what if phil was homophobic or what if he starts to hate dan for thinking that way towards his roommate and bestfriend, or worse what if phil rejects his feeling completely and leaves him the next day. As all these thoughts rush through dans head as he started walking back to the living room he noticed the lights flicker. UGH THATS WEIRD I BETTER TELL THE MAINTENANCE GUY TO CHECK THE LIGHTS TOMORROW dan thought a little bit scared. He continued his thoughts of him and Phil together and how nice it would be to finally snuggle with phil in his bed and playing with each others feet under the blue and green covers of phils bed. He also thought of how nice it would be to sleep with phil and finally smell him all night long. He sat down on the sofa that had taken his unique shape and slowly felt his body sink in the cushion, phil was still in the same position he last saw him in and he thought of how cute he looked…. he looks like some sort of bunny huddled in that corner. Dan saw the lights flicker again and got stiff he always hated the dark because for some reason when he saw the darkness all he saw was his own loneliness staring back at him. PHSSSSSSS the lights turned off with a little light wave, OH NO NOT THIS dan thought as the water bottle fell onto the ground. THUMP! The water bottle fell and phil yelped “AH! Omg dan what was that?” Phil asked concerned Mghm dan cleared his threat and tried not to show the shakiness in his voice “Um that was the water bottle sorry…. I’m phil….” dan said Phil already knew dan was scared of the dark because he always watched his videos so he knew dan probably wanted someone right now. Phil went and crawled towards dan quickly and caught him in a bear like hug he was shorter than dan so it was weird. OMG PHIL IS HUGGING ME RIGHT NOW! Dan thought screaming inside his head. "Um Phil I was gonna say if you could contact the maintenance guy.” Dan chuckled a little trying to hide his embarrassment "oh of course but I’m not letting you go. Dan I know your scared I watch your videos for crying out loud so don’t worry I’m here for you.” Phil said confidently, he squeezed dan a little tighter feeling dans skin a against his, it was soft and amazing. Phil blushed because he was always close to dan but this felt a little intimate. Dan squeezed his eyes shut scared because he knew that it would be awhile till the lights turned back on. THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP BDUMP BUDUMP Dan felt his own heart beating hard and loud he was sure phil could hear it to. Dan squeezed phils arm tight scared that if he let go he would be stuck in an never ending hole in the dark. Phil felt his arm being squeezed and grabbed his phone which was in his pocket he immediately called the maintenance guy 
“Hey Um…. me and my friend are in our apartment and the lights have gone out it might be a black out. Can you please fix the lights……thank you.” Phil said and hung up the phone once the maintenance guy said ok.
The guy had said in a gruff voice that it would take 1-3 hours fixing the light. OH NO dan thought, it could take hours and it would just be him and phil cuddling in the dark. Phil felt dan shudder again and dan couldn’t help if he was scared so all phil could do was hold him harder. Dan felt phils chest and could hear his heart beating it was nice and for a while he felt so calm and at ease he thought he could live like this, in a world where only him and Phil existed. Dan blushed harder than ever when he felt phils impressive dick nudging him….. it was actually asleep but he could feel it on his stomach. 
“Oh I got it!” Phil exclaimed happily 
“Got what?” Dan sat up confused but still holding onto phils arm
Phil turned on his flash from his phone and the room filled with a bright white light. Dan felt calm and sad, on one hand he was happy there was some light back on the other he wished he could’ve cuddled with phil more. 
“Oh you mean that, I accidentally left my phone in my room while it was charging.” Dan explained quickly, he let phil go and went back to the position he was in earlier before the lights turned off. 
“That’s explains why you didn’t think of this, and why you didn’t just take out your phone.” Phil said smiling a little, there was something else…. there was some pink in his cheeks and dan knew he was blushing from the cuddling. In the dark dan thought and seemed like he was the only one nervous but he guessed wrong. Once he saw phil smiling at him he felt at ease and knew he had to tell him….tell him everything he was holding back. This seemed like a good time as any it was already kinda romantic the pitched lighting the sweet cuddling before hand and they were both blushing. Dan felt his heart tighten as he tried to get the words out, 
“Phil……I….. um….I…..i have something I need to tell you I’ve felt this way for a while now and I knew it was only a matter of time before it came out.” Dan said stuttering trying to stop his fast pacing heart.
Phil immediately covered dans mouth and looked serious….seriously sexy, his blue eyes turned a sexy ocean misty blue and his lips looked delicious as he licked them to speak.
“No dan.” He said and dans heart started falling apart he felt himself freeze over, did phil really not want to know what he had to say or did he know already and just didn’t want to talk about it. Dan fell silent and felt tears prick his eyes and his warm heart that was lit with hope felt cold and frosty. 
“Let me speak first, you always beat me to the punch line well now it’s my turn. Look I’VE been wanting to tell you this for a while now and I just didn’t know how.” Phil choked back and felt himself getting emotional once he saw dans dark brown eyes filling with water and his cheeks turn bright red.
“Dan…..I love you always have and always will. I love the way you get hobbit hair in the mornings, I love the way when you see your favorite characters interact you light up and get jumpy, I love the way your brown eyes never cease to stop watering when something magical happens, I love the way that no matter what you always have my back.” He touched dans cheek lightly with his hand “ but most of all I love the way your cheeks turn red when you either get excited about something or are embarrassed. I have always loved you since the very first time you walked through my door even though I never knew it back then my heart knew and now I know myself as well.” 
He grabbed dans hand and placed it over his heart it was beating so fast BUDUMP THUMP BUDUMP THUMP it was like a drum it felt like dans when he was cuddling with him. 
“My heart is always like this whenever I’m near you, whenever we touch I feel this….electricity surge through me and I’m overcome with happiness. I always try to play it cool and be the one guy with all the puns and ice breakers and all the innocence…. but if you knew what I thought about when I masturbate to you, hehehe I would probably scare you away.” Phil said choking up again, he grabbed dans face immediately and whispered lightly as if he was the only one meant to hear it
“I guess what I’m saying is…. will you be my boyfriend?” Phil was shaking a little and his pale cheeks turned even more bright pink. 
Dan started crying lightly and felt his voice break
“Yes….omg yes phil a million times yes!” Dan said excitedly and at that exact moment they kissed. 
The heat from both of them felt magical dan felt as if he was flying, flying high into the sky he felt his whole heart beating fast as the kissing got more intense by the second. Phil didn’t look like it but he was very…. assertive, dan couldn’t help but be mesmerized at the new found lion. He felt heat passion and love in the kiss phil was giving him….. it felt lustful and hungry. It was amazing dan felt phils tung skim over his lips and he granted phil access. He felt phils tung explore his mouth and dan whimpered a little under phil as he started feeling weak. Phil pulled away allowing both to breath, they were both breathing hard and the intensity could be felt between them. As phils mouth parted from dans there was a line of saliva that ran down dans chin and phil seductively licked from his chin back to his mouth where they began a non stop make out session. 
BAM! 
The lights had turned back on and when they did phil and dan jumped and started laughing
“Wow what amazing timing, I was about to take you to my room to make some sweet loving.” Phil said smiling at dan with the biggest smile.
“Stop with the corny jokes,” dan laughed
“Let’s go I can’t wait anymore…” dan begged he sounded needy but with phil he didn’t care he just wanted phil BADLY like how a bird wants to fly. 
Phil grabbed dans hand and guided him to his room he sat him down gently, dan wanted him to possess him to make him into a bitch… his bitch at least. He wanted it hard and rough he wanted to know that this was real that he wasn’t just dreaming. Phil stripped down to his lion printed boxers and went to his dresser, dan noticed what phil had taken out IT WAS LUBE! OMG WERE REALLY GONNA DO IT dan thought biting his bottom lip harshly. He felt his erection growing, he was 6.5 inches when erected so he felt confident. Phil got on the bed pushed dan down on the blue and green bedspread and got between his legs where his entrance was, phil put the lube down on the sheets and started stripping dan. Soon there was nothing but phils boxers between him and his hungry little dan. As phil kept looking at dans naked body he felt his penis twitch, he was 8.5 inches so going inside dan would be tough, he started licking dan all over from his pink swollen nipples to his erect penis. As soon as he got where his penis was he slowly looked at dan and gave him a hungry beastly look, a look only he would give dan. Dan felt his breathing hitch as phil took his member deep into his mouth and wrapped his one hand around his cock. 
“AH…” dan moaned
Phil nibbled a bit when he got to the tip and that made dan twitch 
“MHHHM….” dan moaned again
Phil erection was already hot and ready but he wanted to make dan feel good first since dan would be in the most pain soon. He kept licking dans penis until dan came 
“AH AH AH AH……MMMM MMM” dan started moaning louder and louder 
“WAIT PHIL IM GONNA COME!” Dan screamed
“Do it, feed me.” Phil said in a husky voice as he started stroking dan faster and faster
Those words were dans undoing and as soon as dan felt himself coming his whole body clenched up and came into phils warm tight mouth. Dan looked at phil as he swallowed all of his come and growled low and deep
“That was delicious.” Phil said while lining up his fingers
Dan felt a finger breach his entrance and it felt weird at first but after 5 minutes he started moaning 
“Ah phil…” he said low 
“Hold on don’t tempt me I’m trying to be nice.” Phil said lowly his eyes focusing on dans asshole
Phil just kept stroking his finger in and out dan he was sooooo tight. It felt like he was trying to suck in his fingers, he was so greedy. He felt his cock twitch and dan just kept moaning softly he couldn’t handle it wanted so much to just stick it in but he couldn’t bear it if he hurt his baby. He suddenly felt a little bump inside dan and stroked it 
“AH!” Dan helped shaking a little his cock grew a little 
Phil looked at dan smirking, he found his weak spot
From then on phil kept stroking that spot hard and faster and harder each time.
“AH AH AH MMMMM MMMM AH MMMM AH MMMMM!” Dan moaned loudly and he grabbed phil before he came and whispered into his ear
“Just fuck me already I want you bad.” Dan said growling a little and turned over with his butt in the air. 
Phil took off his boxers immediately and positioned himself over dans entrance, before he went in he whispered 
“Don’t blame me when you can’t walk tomorrow” phil slowly licked dans ear and bit it a little 
Dan felt that in his whole body and it sent a shiver down his spine. The all of a sudden he felt phils wet member slide into his entrance and push deep into him
“ah…..” dan gave a low Moan 
“Mmmm” phil moaned as he entered dan
“Holy shit dan….. you don’t know how….amazing you feel right now. I can feel you twitching your amazingly hot inside.” Phil said while thrusting a little 
“Mmmmm….ahhhh…..mmmmm….ahh” dan couldn’t speak he felt so full and amazing he felt like he was about to collapse. 
Soon phil started picking up the pace and he was getting harder and rougher 
“AHHHH MHMMMMM AHHHHH” dan started yelping and moaning loudly 
“That’s right baby I know all your weak spots now, especially since I’ve read your porn history. Bdsm, rough gay sex, rough dildo in men’s ass; I know everything baby.” Phil growled into dans ear 
All dan could do was blush hard and moan. He and Phil came at the same time and it was heavenly, they spent the last 4 hours just having non stop sex. They both fell asleep into each others arms and the next morning when dan woke up he was so sore but he didn’t care the pain he felt was nothing compared to the pleasure and happiness he felt. His whole world was glowing bright and his heart clenched and felt heavy as he laid next to a “just fucked” hair phil. He smiled and held his hand as he fell asleep again knowing that him and phil will be just ok, hopefully forever if phil accepts dans proposal on his 30th birthday(which is 3 weeks away.) 
THE END

#dan and phil fanfiction #phanfic fluff #phandom #phan #fanfic #dan and phil #fluffy #love #romance #smut #phan smut #dan bottoms #phil tops #phanfiction

[teaandforeshadowing]

a story for which the world is not yet prepared; estranged and desperately unspoken

[This went from a 500-word idea to a 3k-word final product. Oops.

Let's just pretend that Mary is either dead or the real Moriarty, and she or Moriarty's minions are coming after John and Sherlock and they have to do some crazy secret spy shit in order to take them down again. John and Sherlock secretly come to Baker Street to reminisce and feel sad and gay and neither of them actually happen to be there at the same time and its fucking miracle that Moriwhoever hasn't caught on and killed them yet.

My first actual Johnlock fic, please be gentle. On AO3]

No one lives at Baker Street these days, but Sherlock visits anyway. He shouldn't be here, too suspicious, but he can't help himself, and the desire to remember those days before everything went to shit is more powerful than his willpower to stop his legs from climbing the stairs.

He sits in his chair, and a red plaid blanket sits gathering dust on the one opposite him. Eloquent, his brain supplies, and he is painfully reminded of the last time John's chair sat empty. His eyes threaten to water, so he takes a deep breath and closes them, focusing instead on the smells that linger just below the dust. The remnants of Thai takeout, formaldehyde in the fridge, John's pea dish. He smacks his lips as that thought leads him to think about John making him tea on the weekends.

He hears the end of John's favorite violin piece, and the smiling praise that greets it. He absently runs a finger along his violin case. More dust, his heart aches. He wishes he'd gotten to play it for John one last time. John's chuckles ring out over the crap telly, and his heart swells at how charming it is. Familiar footfalls sound on the stairs, and deductions flood him with old memories.

Slower than normal, and lopsided, his brain supplies. It's been a long day at the clinic, and he'll be in the mood for a nice murderer to chase around London to take the edge off. Breathless laughter in the stairwell, a few fingers of whiskey, and a maybe Bond movie to end the night.  Sherlock smiles sadly that his brain would fill in the silence with only his fondest memories, he realizes those exact nights when he fell just a little bit deeper.

And then the door to 221B opens.

Sherlock is snapped out of his fantasy when he hears the surprised but soft "Oh!". 

"John," he breathes, and suddenly he is standing, his legs carrying him closer to the door in a few short steps. John meets him half way. 

Months without any kind of direct contact has him starving to make up for it with some kind of physical connection. But what's appropriate for the moment that faces them now? A handshake? A hug? Full-on sex?

"I--ahem--wasn't expecting you to be here." Johns voice is so soft and cautious, like speaking any louder could shatter the fragile opportunity that fate has handed to them. It suddenly occurs to Sherlock how stupid he is for thinking the John in his mind palace could do the real thing any justice, and Sherlock's ears are suddenly so full, and he's suddenly desperate to say anything in order to hear John speak again. 

He nods. "I was..." he starts, but finds himself at a loss. John has seen him sitting in his chair, eyes closed. What could possibly be said as a plausible excuse to be somewhere he shouldn't?

But John merely nods accompanied by a smooth hum, and Sherlock's attention is drawn downwards when he nervously shuffles a bag from his left to his right hand. Lopsided. John's eyes subconsciously follow his.

"Ah." He clears his throat. "Just some of Mary's things." It comes out halted like the words are being painfully forced up. Sherlock wants to run his hands down his neck to soothe it for him. He restrains himself until John drops the bag with a shake of his head and reaches for him.

Sherlock releases a breath he didn't know he was holding in when Johns arms finally take hold of him. He's had many hugs in his lifetime, and some of them were even enjoyable, but he never imagined that a hug could make him feel...complete. It was the kind of Complete that would make you wonder how on earth you managed to convince yourself you weren't living such an empty life, and how you managed to ever survive it until now.  As if slotting against another person was like finding the last piece of a puzzle he thought he'd already finished. 

"It's good to see you again," John sighs into his collarbone. It sends a jolt of electricity straight to his heart which pounds ferociously next to John's. The simple contact has his mind reeling with everything he's wanted to say but never had - And you. I'm so glad you're okay. I'm sorry it had to be this way. I miss you. I need you.

He settles for "and you" before anything else leaves his mouth that he might regret. After all, nothing good had ever come from trying to protect John. If he'd just told John he wasn't dead, he never would have needed therapy or met Mary. If he'd just told John about Mary's true nature, he never would have married her and had a daughter. If he'd just backed off and let John live his married life, he never would have found out the truth. If he had just left well enough alone, Mary's past wouldn't have caught up to her, and John wouldn't have to be a single father. 

Pain strikes him hard in the stomach at the thought of Rosie growing up without a mother. Of course John wouldn't be the only one to suffer, how could he have forgotten?

A hand brushes softly up Sherlock's spine, and it grounds him in the present again. "I'm glad you're okay. It's hard to tell in the messages you send." Heavily coded, for their protection, but it warms Sherlock's heart to hear he's able to work them out. My clever Watson.

"A necessary precaution," he explains. The nature of their mission demands that what little contact they have with each other in cryptic messages through drop points and the homeless network contains only the most vital information. If their system allowed it, Sherlock would gladly send John a ten-page essay every day detailing how wonderful John is for putting up with him, and how he doesn't deserve such a man as a best friend and confidant, and how much Sherlock regrets their arrangement. Regrets the past that led them to this present, but alas fate was not so kind.

"I know," John concedes, bunching up the back of Sherlock's shirt as his hands close into fists. He knows, but he doesn't agree, and Sherlock feels a lump form in his throat at the sentiment of it all.

"Speaking of, we shouldn't be here." Together. At the same time. At all, really. But John still has his arms curled around Sherlock, and his fists wrapped up in his shirt, and Sherlock is starting to lose track of time. "Suspicious." is all he can manage to spit out as explanation.

"Yeah," John agrees, and he slowly withdraws from their embrace, leaving Sherlock's chest feeling empty and cold. "But," he continues, shedding his coat, "there's no harm in a quick cuppa, is there?" He moves to the kitchen to put the kettle on and grab the mugs, and Sherlock opens his mouth to object. The longer they sit around, the more likely it is they'll be found out. It was risky enough for Sherlock to come here alone, but the two of them together will surely draw too much attention. The sooner they leave Baker Street, the better. "Since we're here, we might as well get each other up to speed. Go over everything we can't fit into secret notes? Who knows when we'll have an opportunity like this again." 

The thought of not seeing John again for months makes his stomach sink and his mouth snap shut, and suddenly he understands why John is delaying the inevitable. Neither of them are eager to let this moment go. It's dangerous, what they're doing, but their life together has always been dangerous. "Dangerous" is what brought John to him on their first case. 

"Indeed," he relents. 

They sit quietly in their chairs, sipping their tea and relishing the calm silence of 221B. The usual afternoon traffic is nothing more than a dull hum outside, as if the flat itself is willing time to go just a little slower in order for them to have this day to themselves. 

"I'm starting to get the hang of the vigenere," John says into his mug. "It was a tricky one at first, but Steve helped me work it out." 

"That's good," Sherlock says into his. The steam warms his face and it smells just like it tastes - perfectly blended the way John knows he likes it.  "How is Lestrade faring?"

"Good, great. He's still a bit out of his depth with all this secrecy business, but he gets me what I need."

Sherlock nods. "Probably better he doesn't get too involved."

"He's still seeing D.I. Hopkins." Sherlock lets out a disbelieving huff. "No, no, they're getting on really well. They've both been on the top of their game lately. They make each other better."

Sherlock's hand stops its journey to his lips at the phrase, which was uttered with the kind of wistful sadness that one would use in remembering a childhood home, before it was torn down and replaced by a strip mall. He glances up over the top of his mug to find John staring morosely into his. 

"John," he breathes. "I'm sorry for putting you through all of this." John looks up at him and hums quizically through a mouthful of tea. "You should be home enjoying your life with your daughter, not running covert errands for me. It's not fair."

He's already shaking his head before Sherlock can finish speaking. "No, Sherlock, that's not-- Nothing is ever fair. Not for us. I'm perfectly happy to do this with you. It's just what we do. And I'm the one who married her, it's at least partly my responsibility to clean up this mess. She told me she loved me, and I believed it because it's what I needed to hear. It's my fault for dismissing my own feelings and letting it get as far as it did." He takes another sip of his tea and lets the statement hang in the air between them. Sherlock can sense that there are other words there as well, words that have been there between their chairs for years, sitting silently, waiting to be acknowledged. The thing is, Sherlock can't tell anymore which ones are his. 

"I understand what needs to be done," John begins again, but quieter this time, "and I'd follow you anywhere to do it. I just want this over with so we can get on with our lives."

A rush of affection swarms Sherlock's chest, and the room brightens as if those unspoken words were blocking the sunlight instead of the curtains. "Thank you, John," he smiles.

His mug is too light, but he brings it his lips anyway, willing it to magically fill again. He hears the dull ringing of John's mug landing on the side table, and Sherlock knows their meeting has come to an end. Their tea is finished, their time is up. 

He stands and takes a deep breath to prepare himself for what he has to say, and he hopes John will understand how much he doesn't want to say it. "We should get going. If we linger any longer, people may start to talk."

A smile creeps onto John's face as he gets up to meet him by the door, and Sherlock is glad for the rare glimpse of happiness one last time. "People do little else." 

Sherlock smiles back at him, but it fades too quickly. He wishes they had more tea. He wishes they had more time. He wishes the circumstances were different. 

John takes his coat off the rack and shrugs into it again, and it's like watching him become a different man. His John, the blogger and constant companion and best friend who'll follow him to the ends of the earth becomes Dr. Watson, the widower and single father and general practitioner, who sees a therapist on Wednesday afternoons. Sherlock wants to strip him of the jacket again, along with his shirt and tie and his trousers so that he can run his hands over the bare skin and scars and show John how much he prefers the former.

"I'll head out the back precisely 23 minutes after you and check for anyone who may be watching. Send word as soon as you can," Sherlock asks, almost pleading. He hasn't even left yet and he's already desperate to hear from John again. 

"Right." John picks up the bag of Mary's things from where he dropped it hours (days? years?) ago and shuffles his feet, fixes his coat collar, and stares regrettably down the stairs ahead of him. 

Sherlock wants to walk him down the door, to see him off and not leave him until the last possible second. The front step of 221 Baker Street is where their privacy begins and ends. It’s the last defense against the prying eyes of the public, but even they are able to catch a glimpse into their secret life when the door is opened. As much as he hates it, it's safer to remain upstairs. 

"This will all be over soon, John," he reassures him. We'll be together again soon, he means.

"That doesn't mean I have to like it," John complains to the stairs.

Sherlock smiles painfully. "No, I don't like it either. But it's all necessary, at least until the danger has passed. Someday it'll be safe for us to go back to the way things were, but not now." He turns and speaks to the stairs and the door and the millions of ears waiting just outside, and he stands up a little straighter when he realizes he's reassuring himself as well.  "The world's just not ready for us to come out yet." 

His subconscious counters with a rogue thought, And what if I don't want us to go back to the way things were? It's almost painful for him to consider as John futzes with the bag in his hands, and Sherlock grips the mug he forgot he was still holding just a little tighter.

"Well," he sighs, and John looks up at him for what he's sure to be the last time in a long time. He's already cataloged the roughness of John's fingers along his forearm as they search for incriminating pinpricks, and the nuances of color in John's hair when the sunlight hits at every angle, but nothing matters more to him now than the depth of emotion that sits behind John's eyes. He has to remember this look forever, for it's all he will have until they can meet again. 

They stare at each other for a long time in complete silence, but words still pass between them, desperately unsure and unspoken. Words not yet permitted to be said aloud, communicated with a single look. Sherlock's just about had enough - any longer and he may just start to cry. 

"Well," he says again, louder, and gesturing behind him with his mug. "Goodbye, John." He steps away towards the kitchen to busy himself at the sink in an effort to distract himself from the fact that John is leaving him and Baker Street again, but a warm hand catches the sleeve of his shirt.

"Wait."

Sherlock turns and meets a steady gaze--John has decided something. He takes a step forward and they're closer than they were before. Sherlock feels a tug on his sleeve and the angle of John's chin changes slightly enough for him to understand. He lowers his face, ear cocked to hear John's soft parting message. They are in each other's breathing space, and Sherlock can smell this morning's coffee, and last night's Indian take out, and a lingering hint of alcohol and baby formula. It's a smell he imagines falling asleep and waking up to everyday. 

They pause. They linger in each other's spaces for a fraction of a second, and then Sherlock realizes he's miscalculated. When solid fingers ghost over his cheekbones and guide him facing forward again, his heartbeat stops. 

Eyes glide softly closed, and lips part. The connection is warm and deep, but soft and fragile. Fleeting. John takes Sherlock's hand and puts it to his heart, covering it with his own like a promise, a gift. It's yours. I'll be back. 

Before he has time to react, John breaks away.

"John," Sherlock breathes again. His eyes are still closed, dreading that the joy and relief he feels that very moment will be scared away by the fear and longing that's been looming over him since they first left Baker Street, since he first came back from the dead, since their first case together.

"Be safe," he hears John mutter, and those steady fingers leave a trail of what must be scalding burns to that magical spot at the nape of Sherlock's neck. 

Chills shudder through him when they're gone. 

There is a six-second pause between his last (slower than normal, lopsided) step down the stairs and the sound of the door opening. A pause that starts a 23-minute countdown. 

@joyfulblazestarlightlove @englishghosts @honey-bees-and-ginger-nuts @writinginsuperwholockhell @whereisjawn @misanthropic-acedia @squirrelwithoutparentingskills @lesyaholmes @sumeragisakura @carlgrimeschildsoldier @snakeinthesnow @ladylizaelliott

I don’t know why it’s not letting me tag half of you I’m so sorry ._.

#also tell me how it is??? #bbc sherlock #fics #i thrive off feedback #johnlock #johnlock fanfic #make sure to comment/bookmark/give kudos on ao3 if you like it! #not betad fyi #pls be gentle #s4 fix it #s4 fix it fic #sherlock #sherlock fanfic #sherlock holmes #sherlock s4 #so i might write another one???? #this is my first major fic for this fandom guys #tjlc #taqqy talks

[homosociallyyours]

Johnlock 11. "You came back!"

With a shuddering gasp...you came back. 

WELL I GUESS I HAD SOME #FEELINGS TO WORK OUT. 

umm angst, pining Sherlock, soft baby aching Sherlock, dream Sherlock, Molly Hooper being The Best Person (tm) and getting John and Sherlock together (spoiler alert, after this happened she went home and fucking cried, held her cat, wrote a lot of fucking sad diary entries about love/being unloved/unrequited love, browsed okcupid and tinder, gave up, got drunk, had some bad days, had some good days, and yeah, eventually met someone but HAD A PROCESS ABOUT IT LIKE A GODDAMN HUMAN FUCKING PERSON JFC). 

god. y’all i think this is worth reading if you want a really flangsty Sherlock confessing his love for John. thanks for this prompt, V. I

---

The moment was passed. They’d left the flat and gone for cake--cupcakes, actually, Molly’s idea. Better than expected, small enough to eat in two bites and with unusual flavors: lemon and lavender, orange and thai basil and mint chocolate, goat cheese and passionfruit. One vanilla sponge with plain chocolate frosting and silver dragées that reminded him of birthdays when he was young. 

Sherlock put a hand over his stomach and patted. Molly was asleep, snoring softly. Supposed to be watching him, but there was no need tonight. Not after John had come so close. Or Sherlock had. He wasn’t sure. Tea might help. 

He eased himself up from his chair, quiet and careful, half to keep Molly from waking up--she needed to sleep, really--and half to keep himself from crying out. The bruises of John’s beating--not to mention the abuse he’d done to himself leading up to it--had started clearing, but he found he hurt all the way to the bone these days. His hand shook as he reached for a mug, absently flicking the kettle on. 

The moment was passed, wasn’t it? John had told him to take a chance, to love someone, and he’d come so close to saying it. Finally, out loud, John standing there, berating himself. He’d almost said that he thought what Mary thought. That John was good--the best--man. That whatever he did, he’d made Sherlock better. Exposed something Sherlock had kept back for so long, longer than he could remember. His heart. 

“John,” Sherlock exhaled, quiet. Soft. His mouth played over what he’d have said next. “You have made me better. More human. You’ve loved me, and I love you. I love you.” The kettle clicked off. “I’m in love with you,” he said aloud, voice barely a whisper. His hand clenched against his mug, squeezing it as tears began to fall from his eyes. He was shaking, but silent. He breathed deep, in and out breaths, until he felt the heaviness in his chest start to dissipate. He poured the water into his mug and went to his chair, seeing that Molly had shifted on the couch while he was in the kitchen and grateful that she still seemed to be asleep. 

Sherlock drifted off too, eventually, though his dreams were haunted by the faces and hands of men who wanted him: dead, alive, theirs. Their voices and bodies blended into one. Magnussen, Moriarty, Milverton. They grabbed him, tugging off his coat, shirt, trousers, til he was naked, running past them, the slick sound of their whispers turning his legs to soft rubber. He couldn’t run anymore. 

“Exhausted, Sherlock? Tired of running?” they asked, pushing him to the ground. It sank with his weight, swallowing him. “Who can help you now?” 

“John,” he said, his voice a frog’s croak half stuck in his throat. “John!” He yelled louder, frantic. He should have said it. When John admitted cheating he should have stopped him. Told him the sins of the past could be forgiven. That Sherlock had cheated him, left him without a word. That Mary had cheated him--lied to him, left him. That John, too, was not beyond the very human act of deception. That it didn’t make Sherlock love him less. 

Hands closed over his shoulders and Sherlock woke, sobbing. John’s face came into focus above him: worry, regret, fear, compassion. Love? 

“I love you,” Sherlock said with a shuddering gasp. “Please. Human, you made me. Human. I love,” he was hyperventilating, choking on his own breath. Desperate to wake up. Suddenly Molly appeared behind John and Sherlock realized he wasn’t dreaming any more. 

“Back,” he said, between stuttering breaths. “You--came--back.” 

“Molly texted, said she was worried,” John said, smoothing a hand through Sherlock’s hair. Behind him, Molly bit her lip and looked away. She knew. Always knew, clever Molly. 

“Breathe for me Sherlock, slow breaths now, with me,” John said, inhaling and exhaling, slow and steady. “That’s good,” he said, when Sherlock’s breath started to come back to him. “Very good.” 

“You came back,” he said again, voice raw from crying, sleep, shouting--from his life for the past few weeks. 

“Of course I did,” John said, one hand still on Sherlock’s pulse and the other resting on his head. 

“I should have told you earlier. Stopped you. Only I couldn’t, once you. When one chooses to confess something difficult, it’s best not to stop them, I’ve found. Better out than in, or get on with it. Confessing, that is,” Sherlock reined in the thousands of tributaries of emotion that were bleeding out of them, forcing them into a single, unified stream of thought. “I’m in love with you, John. You. Not Irene Adler, not any other person in the world. I don’t have many friends. You know this. You truly are my best friend, the best man that I have ever known. And you--I don’t deserve you. Could never deserve you. But I had to tell you, come what will.” Sherlock waited, not daring to look into John’s eyes, the thought of what could be there to terrible a risk. 

“Hey,” John said, sliding his fingers from Sherlock’s wrist and into his upturned palm, clasping his hand. “Sherlock, look--look at me, please,” he said. Quiet, serious, possible--impossible. 

Sherlock looked up to see John smiling down at him. Fond, warm, kind, open. Possible. John. 

#johnlock #tld fix it fic #angst #fluff #flangst #my fic #i'm really proud of this and might put it on ao3 #i mean i haven't re-read it yet so it could be el garbagio BUT #i really liked writing it and had a lot of feelings while doing so #sherlock is hurt and soft and sad #GOD OUCH GOD #valeria2067 #answers

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hey Lovely! I was wondering how you first became a part of the fandom? When did you start watching the show, at what point did you feel John and Sherlock might be(come) a thing, what made you start a blog on these two? I just want to know it all ^^ Hope you don't mind sharing a bit :) Thank you for everything you do for this fandom, love you lots!

Hi Lovely!

Oh gosh, what a nice question! I think I’ve talked about this in snippets in various posts, this post being the one talking the most about it, but never as a whole! Apologies if this turns into a long ramble, hah hah!

So I remember exactly when I got into the show SO CLEARLY. It was July of 2013, just a few months before S3 was to air in January 2014. I was over at my friends’ place, and they suggested the show to watch, since we always watch movies together whenever I visit. I remember asking, “Is that the show with Martin Freeman and that Khan actor from Star Trek 2?”. We finished Season one all in one go, and immediately fell in love with Ben and Martin’s portrayals and their chemistry. And then I had to head back home. I was ANGRY because OMG WHAT HAPPENS NEXT and my friends just laughed.

So as soon as I got home, I downloaded S1 and S2 and watched them ALL the way through. I needed more. So, because I already had a Tumblr and knew it was for fandoms, I decided to see what it had to offer. 

Oh boy what did I get into???

So I lurked for a bit, and then I discovered something called “meta”, back when the TRF theories were the prominent meta in the fandom. So while I was getting deep into meta, I started switching my fanart from Ninja Turtles to Sherlock, because I was warming up to Ben’s ethereal face and I wanted to draw it. And I wanted to be a Sherlock fanartist. I briefly shipped Sher1011ie for a week or so, until I rewatched the series again and it just didn’t jive like it did the first few watch-throughs. I was too invested in John and Sherlock’s friendship – I saw them as bestest friends ever, too devoted to each other.

Now, at this point, y’all need to remember this: I was naïve, have never been exposed at length nor ever heard of subtext, was and am not part of the LGBT community (I grew up in a different time and in a conservative city, so being “gay” just wasn’t a thing), had a very heteronormative view on my life, and I just had always just insisted that in all of my fandoms, when I liked two male characters together, it was because “bestest friends ever!!”. I didn’t know I was ace and I’d never read smut up until 3 years ago (yes hi hello I’m so old and so innocent LOL).

Okay, so I was just lurking for a bit, learning my way around fandom, reading meta and just generally dipping my toes quietly into the fandom.

Then came Season 3. 

As many of my followers know, a lot of my fondness for season 3 stems from this being the season that LITERALLY opened my eyes to EVERYTHING: subtext, Johnlock, my own sexuality, and my meta-writing career. 

So, season 3 aired and I decided to dip my toes into “reviewing” the episodes as my first “meta”. They were posted onto my multi-fandom blog here, here and here. I was so proud of them, because it reinvigorated my love for writing (I used to be a pretty prominent Sonic fan-fic author back in the 90′s… I never finished my stories because my interest in the fandom died before I finished them), despite how laughably bad they were, haha. I got a couple compliments on them, but nothing beyond that, especially since I sat down and wrote them for HOURS after each episode aired.

Sometime between TSo3 and HLV, I discovered loudest-subtext-in-television (aka LSiT) and deducingbbcsherlock completely by accident and I was FASCINATED. I ate up everything they wrote. The first time I watched TSo3, something was niggling at my brain but I couldn’t quite place it. It was one of LSiT’s meta that twigged at it. That’s when I learned about subtext, heteronormativity and the queer community. And suddenly, just like that, something in my brain clicked.

Oh. My god. This show is gay, and I actually SHIP these idiots like I did in the Mother Ship (ie. The X-Files Mulder / Scully). That’s why I was SO ANNOYED with Irene. Why Molly was slowly grating on me. Why Mary’s introduction kind of annoyed me but okay I guess I can deal with it. Why everything seemed really romantic but it just couldn’t be, could it? 

I rewatched the series. And it was gay. Y’all, those rainbow-coloured glasses were suddenly GLUED to my head, and I saw gay EVERYWHERE.

So, after HLV, I discovered The Johnlock Conspiracy and I was eating up all the meta about Johnlock I could. Around this time, I also was learning a lot about the LGBT community, its history and sexual fluidity from wsswatson. It was also around this time I discovered asexuality, and I started reading a lot about it. 

In February of 2014, I started this blog because I wanted a place to reblog Johnlock meta. This was the first post I made on this blog, and looking back at it now, I am DYING because wow I never imagined I was going to be this deep into the fandom the day I wrote that. I don’t even remember writing it, to be very honest. I just shake my head, HAH. I think I really started understanding Johnlock because of this post here. It’s still one of my favourites and is one of the ones I credit for helping me understand what I was watching was actually a romance, not a “crime show”. 

Anyway, after learning how to read subtext from mostly LSiT (they wrote a meta about how to read subtext and it was super informative) and other Johnlock bloggers, I wanted to try my hand at my own little Johnlock meta. It was more of an observational post, as my way of trying to interact with the fandom. I am a terribly nervous and shy person, so I never tagged anyone in anything. It was an overwhelming fandom, and it was terrifying to interact. A few bigger bloggers noticed me and were nice enough to comment on a couple of my posts, but I mostly stayed in my little corner, and interacted with my small little group of other smaller fans. I dabbled in both fanart and writing, just plopping my thoughts and art into the aether, hoping something would interest someone enough to start a discussion. 

I started getting braver, and I was “moderating” some of my favourite posts that weren’t mine, but had my additions to it. Mostly, the Phones and Hearts post. I didn’t want to impede, but it was one of my favourite posts, so I went and copied all of the comments in the notes and put them onto one post. I don’t honestly remember HOW I ended up moderating it, but I just did because I was FASCINATED with symbolism, and I was excited because I could finally read subtext and understand it. I still had a small following, and a few people I regularly interacted with on my blog.

So, during the hiatus between S3 and TAB, somewhere along the way I suddenly had a sexuality crisis, when I suddenly realized I wasn’t broken and there was absolutely nothing wrong with me, and damn it, there’s such thing as split attraction model and asexuality?? Mind was BLOWN. I was also slowly becoming obsessed with Mary’s character, and at the time I couldn’t understand why (inevitably, it was because of events happening in my own life and me trying to understand them), but I really enjoyed just psychoanalyzing her. It’s something I’ve ALWAYS loved doing – character studies; I’ve done it in EVERY fandom I’ve been in – and I was doing it for her, Sherlock and John’s characters. 

So yeah, nothing much really happened to me during the S3 hiatus, except my entire world view flipped on its head and I was completely Johnlocked beyond repair. I became known for some painful posts and some lovely revelations and writing a lot of character study posts on both John and Sherlock. I’m very proud of some of my earlier meta, just sad they never really got seen (some of my earliest meta can be seen on my Ao3).

Then came the announcement for TAB in 2015, and the start of my “Tumblr Career”. I put a lot of my energy into my fandom life. I was OBSESSED with TAB, and became known for it. I put my moderation skills to use and created the TAB Starter Pack, which started gaining me some followers because OMG some loser is taking the time out of their day to compile all the news about this new series! AWESOME. I remember, it was around this time I was excited because I got to 1895 followers and it was one of those milestones all Johnlockers like having, hahah. 

In October of 2015, I lost my job and was unemployed. Conveniently, this is also the time when the promo season for TAB started, because we now had a name and airdate. I devoted a LOT of my time, when I wasn’t job hunting, to working on this blog. I was just writing a lot, and obsessing about the upcoming episode.

Then the trailer aired.

And immediately after that trailer dropped on October 24, 2015, I made this post here, which, some would probably say, was the beginning of everything for me. As I was writing that post, with a cracking headache, something clicked in my head, and several hours later, I had written and posted the original Mind Palace Theories of TAB at 2AM-ish, and went to bed.

When I woke up, my post had suddenly gone viral and I couldn’t figure out why. Then it just kept expanding from there, and I made sure to include everything I could onto it, because WOW something I wrote was gaining traction, and interaction, and I just wanted us all to have a good time with it. And as the time for TAB drew closer, suddenly I was gaining followers, and more people interested in what I had to write. I welcomed everyone to continue to predict the outcome with me.

January 1st. Was a complete and total mind fuck. I was liveblogging the episode, and inadvertently created another viral post with my Mycroft’s Death post because FUCK ARE THEY KILLING MYCROFT OFF?? kind of freaked people out (sorry loves!), which gained me some more followers, and at the time, my top post was my December 31st reblog of my Mind Palace Theories post, so anyone who came to my blog, it would have been on the first page of it.

After the episode aired, suddenly, EVERYONE had questions for me, about EVERYTHING, but mostly to scream at me that I was a mind reader, LOL. No, I’m not, I was just a sad, unemployed twat with too much time on my hands and was avoiding job hunting. But good god, all DAY on Jan 1, I was replying to asks, gaining followers like crazy, and pretty much just stating my opinion on anything that someone wanted to know. 

I became known as the unofficial TAB blog, and the one to come to with questions about my interpretation of the episode. I was SO obsessed with TAB, studied every nuance and narrative structure I could. 2016 was “my heyday”, and it was fun. I found my niche, and meta-writing is what I became known for. And until I got a job in April of that year, I was a pretty solid presence in the fandom, if I understand some of what I’ve been told correctly. I still ran my blog as full-time as I could having a full-time job, and still do in some ways, but yeah, 2016 is when I produced a LOT of meta, mostly Mary meta because, as I said above, I was and am obsessed with her character arc. I was learning about myself a lot more by writing meta, and my “original” meta turned into “asks” meta, which was fine by me, because I do like a good prompt to get me going.

Somewhere in there I also somehow became the blog new bloggers came to, which I didn’t and don’t mind at all, because being new in a fandom is scary and I wanted to be a friendly face because I like meeting new people. 

Then we got an announcement for S4, and like TAB I also kept track of anything and everything S4-related, so once again I was sort of the “go-to” place for everything S4 because I compiled all the stuff from setlock bloggers and listed them all for easy-access. I kept track of everything promotional, and I reblogged some of my favourite pre-S4 meta here.

Essentially, I LOVE organizing things, and people liked that I LOVED doing it, so that’s sort of how I kept my following when I wasn’t posting as much new meta. I did make a few original meta before S4, and I made a 68 day video countdown to the series which is cringy AF and I’m not linking it (lol you can find it if you look hard enough). 

We all know what happened in S4. I took a bit of heat after S4 aired, because I got people’s hopes up. I was discouraged for a bit, but then I started receiving asks that weren’t really asks, but “I need advice” and “I need support”. 

And I started answering life questions, and realized people LIKED my responses, liked my little personal anecdotes in each of my replies, and felt comforted by it. So, after S4 aired, I became an eclectic mix of life advice, meta, fics, music and TJLC / tinhatting blog. I have a “no judgement” approach to my blogging, and I think that’s why I’m still gaining a steady dozen or so followers every couple weeks, rather than losing. The only time I took a big hit was the Tumblr Feedpocalypse, where they fucked up the algorithm and I’m not getting nearly as many hits on my posts as I used to, but that could also be because we lost so many people to S4, especially after Jan 1, 2018 when people were hoping for another episode.

I personally don’t think I’m popular, but I suppose I am by Tumblr standards. I dunno, I think we all have that “starry eyed” view of popular bloggers, and I just can’t picture myself as someone anyone would fawn over. I’m just me, and you can take it or leave it.

I think where I’m at now and what I’m known for is a good place to be, to be honest, despite how S4 turned out. I’m not certain, but I FEEL like I have a positive reputation here, but don’t quote me. I know I have people in this fandom who hate me, and quite frankly it saddens me that they feel they need to expel energy on me that way when they deserve to just be happy and forget about me. 

ANYWAY, sorry that got long and rambly, but it’s something I’ve wanted to talk about for awhile, but I was waiting for the prompt to come because *shrugs* I dunno, self esteem thing, makes me think no one REALLY cares until someone actually asks, hah.

And if you made it all the way to the end here, Love ya Nonny, and thank you for asking and thank you for being a follower of my blog

#steph replies #about me #fandom life #steph's storytime #fandom history #Anonymous #long post #my blog

[youwinoryoudiethatswhatpeopledo]

Solving the Final Problem

Here is a fix-it fic for anyone who was hoping for a little more Johnlock in their lives (also a hint of Mystrade, but little enough that you can hopefully ignore it if it’s not your thing.) Technically canon-compliant, as it takes place after the main events of TFP. 

Written for @xaphaniaas as promised, hastily, as soon as I got home from watching it. I hope you all enjoy

Sherlock Holmes was broken. He was exhausted, his nerve shattered, his heart racing and so so close to falling apart. Pulling John from the well, safe at last, and hearing that his brother was the same brought tears of tired relief to his eyes. He fell to his knees in the mud beside the well, tears rolling down his cheeks to splash on the grass. But his shaking shoulders were stilled by the ever-firm hand of Doctor John Watson, wrapped in a warm blanket and holding him tight. “It’s ok.” Sherlock couldn’t find a gap in the sobs to deny him, but he knew deep down, calmed by a heartbeat, strong and alive, that it would be, soon.

When Euros had been taken away, John was taken back to Rosie and Sherlock himself was driven to Baker Street. He stepped out of the police car and stood on the pavement, staring at the door, its knocker still straight, and the windows of his own flat now replaced by wooden boards. He felt guilty for all of it: Euros, and his betrayal of her; all the innocent people he hadn’t been able to save; Mycroft, almost dying for John – Molly. Molly’s sobs still rang in his ears. The taxi brought him to St. Bart’s with admirable swiftness. It wasn’t the ideal place to reconcile himself with a close friend, but her shift wouldn’t end for hours and he couldn’t leave it a second longer. Sets of double doors crashed open as he ran through the warren of corridors towards her, almost falling through the entrance to the morgue itself. When Molly saw him, she turned away abruptly, aiming to leave as quickly as possible. “Molly!” She only sped up. “Molly, wait, please!” As his voice cracked she spun on her heel to face him again, but her look of anger and pain didn’t last long. For even as she looked at him, she could see how sad he was. “Would you- would you, um, like to get coffee?” She nodded and hung up her coat. The coffee shop turned out to be closed for remodelling, so they bought paper cupfuls from a machine down the hall and stood outside with them, side-by-side. Without hesitation, Sherlock started recounting the tale of the past few days to Molly. From the very beginning with John’s therapist through their own telephone call right up to rescuing John the previous night. She didn’t give anything away as he spoke, not even a flinch at the suggestion she might have been blown up. “I’m so sorry, Molly. You are one of my greatest friends, of course I knew that that would hurt you, and if I’d had any choice at all, any other way-” “I know, Sherlock. I believe you. Something that insane could only happen to you, and only a Holmes could be that cruel.” She sipped her coffee, looking beyond him. “I suppose that’s fair.” He cast his eyes to the ground. They were silent for a few moments, birds singing a lilting melody. “Say it again.” She told him. “I’m sorry, I can never say enough, I know, but-” “No.” She cut him off. “Not that, and not to me.” She finally looked at him, embraced him, before leaving him alone and puzzled.

Soon afterwards, when the renovations of 221B Baker Street had only just begun, he saw Mycroft again. They organised his schedule and clearance to visit Euros, to be something like home for her, as he’d promised. But there was a deep sadness in Mycroft’s eyes as they did so. It would take him a long time to recover from this failure in his most precious duty of protecting his siblings. He was looking thinner as well, unhealthily so, as if he’d simply forgotten to eat. Sherlock wanted to say something to him, anything, but- well, it had been mostly his fault. “How’s John?” He heard, before he could speak. “Well. Healthy. He’s helping me clear up Baker Street, I think he and Rosie are going to move back in, he can’t afford to keep a house anymore.” Not without Mary. “Oh, well, that will be excellent for both of you.” “What makes you say that?” “How is little Rosie?” Mycroft turned, pretending to peruse a bookshelf. “Fully functioning, as you would say. Why would it be excellent?” “Oh, Sherlock. Please don’t let me have almost-died for nothing.” He glanced at his pocket watch. “If you will excuse me, brother dear, I’m expecting someone.” “Someone?” “Someone.” Mycroft replied, trying to shut him up and politely shoo him from the house. Relenting, he opened the front door to see the figure of Lestrade, poised to knock. “Sherlock! What a pleasant surprise.” “What are you doing here, George?” He was shot a poisonous glare. “Well, I said I’d look after him for you, didn’t I? Here I am,” he raised a bag of groceries, “looking after him.” The inspector disappeared past him into the house, closing the door between them. He could have sworn that the packaging of Mycroft’s favourite cake was poking out of the supermarket bag.

The governor of Sherrinford prison and his wife were buried a week afterwards. There was a shadow at the back of their funeral where Sherlock Holmes stood watching the proceedings. The couple were well known and well loved, judging by the eulogies and the tears. As such it took a long time for the last mourner to leave, Sherlock at last able to stand alone before their graves. The loving partners were buried beside each other, festooned in vibrant flowers and the memories they carried. Sherlock himself, of course, had few memories of them, and at that moment he could only recall one. That of the hero, willing to die, willing even to kill himself to save the person he loved most in all the world. It took a great amount of love to make someone so stupid as to pull a trigger, or fall from a rooftop, for someone. He could feel the cold of a pistol against the skin of his own chin once again. There was a slight drizzle over his dark curls.

The redecoration of the flat was all but finished, John’s belongings almost all boxed up for moving. The first thing to greet him on his return home was Mrs. Hudson’s worried expression. “Back at last, dear, oh I do wish you’d bring an umbrella with you in this rain. Surely your brother won’t miss one.” He hung up his coat and scarf with a fond smirk. “I’m convinced he loves them more than his own parents, Mrs. Hudson. I borrowed one once as a teenager, for an experiment, and lets just say he proved his relation to my sister that day.” She smiled warmly at him. “You know, John was just telling me he’s packed and ready to move in.” “I believe so.” He approached the stairs to his flat. “It’ll be so nice to have the two of you back again. Oh, but what can we do about a nursery for Rosie?” He tried to keep his voice even as he replied: “I’m hoping we’ll have enough rooms to accommodate one all of her own.” Mrs. Hudson gasped as Sherlock began ascending the stairs again. He just caught sight of her grin as she marched purposefully towards what he presumed to be the telephone and a long, high-pitched conversation with Mrs. Turner, next-door.

When he nervously pushed open the door with a shaking left hand, he immediately saw John, standing with Rosie in his arms in a room which looked just the same as when John had first moved in all those years ago. Sherlock’s heart swelled as he watched the soldier wave a small flower around in front of her as she tried in vain to reach out and grab it from him. Rosie gurgled happily when she saw him in the doorway and gave him an upside-down grin. John at last looked up, equally happy, it seemed, to see him. “There you are! Here, there’s a case for us. A client came while you were out, and brought – this.” With his free hand, he pointed towards a granite statue of an elephant, spattered with blood and what appeared to be ink. “Fascinating.” He said, stepping forward to offer his fingers to Rosie’s eager fists. The two entertained her for a while in near silence, broken only by some of John’s endearing baby talk. “Look, John, can I talk to you?” His voice was shaking, he fought to bring it under control. “Yeah, of course.” The other man looked up at him. He adored the smile on his face, had done ever since that first delighted exclamation at his brilliance, the first person not to run from his deductions. “John, there’s something I’ve been meaning to say to you for… a very long time.” He began, interrupted by a yawn from Rosie. John began to rock her gently in his arms. “You mean a lot to me. Ever since we met, you’ve been special to me, unique, constantly there for me at my side. I told you as much at your wedding, that you were the best man I’d ever met and, of course, you still are.” He fiddled with his cuffs as he forced himself to continue. “When you told me I was your best friend, I was surprised. I never expected that anyone would ever call me that, let alone that it be true.” The expression on John’s face suggested he very much wanted to tell him to get to the point. “But at – at the wedding, I also told you that I loved you, more than anything in the world and, what I’m trying to say, what I’ve come to realise is…” it took a lot of courage to look back into John’s eyes, “that it’s true. I mean, I do – love you, that is – I… I love you.” “Yeah, I know.” John replied with a half-amused smile. “No, no, you don’t. Please, John, you have to understand.” He began to panic, he couldn’t do this wrong, not now. “I really love you, I love the way you make tea, the way you talk to Rosie. I love that you don’t get annoyed at my playing, even when I’m so frustrated I’m practically torturing the poor instrument. I love your bravery, and your cleverness,” John snorted, “yes, John, you may not see how good you’ve become during our cases, but I have. You’re far from just my blogger, now, I couldn’t solve half of them without you. I love that you will face up to the most dangerous people in the world, that you’ll punch senior police officers in the face, for me. I love when you stay up with me sometimes when I’m thinking.” His eyes widened. He knew John thought he didn’t notice him there, but he always did. “I – god, I loved your terrible moustache because you liked it, and I love your smile, and your laugh, and I just – I love you, John. Please, please, tell me that you understand.” “Of course I do, you idiot. Even Mary did, that’s why she – why-” he cleared his throat. “She knew how I felt about you before even I did, maybe she guessed from the very beginning.” Sherlock’s brain had stalled in the middle of the sentence. “What?” “Well, you must-? Don’t tell me you don’t know I feel the same?” He looked concerned. “I had… hopes, but I didn’t ever know for certain.” “That great deductive mind, defeated by love once again. You take after your brother.” He thought about the inspector, and the cake. “I really think I do.” “Well anyway, you know now, yes, that’s- that.” John knew what he was avoiding. His soldier’s nerve steeled, and he couldn’t help recalling a moment not so long ago, in the grand scheme of things, when he stood before a gravestone and begged for just one thing. He matched the detective’s gaze. “I love you, Sherlock.” Sherlock smiled, more out of relief than anything else. And John smiled back, heavy with years of newly-recognised affection. “Of course, you know what this means.” John said casually. “What?” His brow furrowed in puzzlement. “You have to change Rosie.” He smirked as tears began to form in the hitherto-silent baby’s eyes and she began to cry obscenely loudly.

He pulled Sherlock down into a kiss, just a brief taste of every day and every year they would spend together, and he pressed their baby into his arms.

#i hope you enjoyed this #i'd love any feedback if you have some time #i also wrote and read it through hastily so please say if i've made any mistakes #bbc sherlock #sherlock spoilers #fix-it fic #fanfic #johnlock #mystrade #the final problem #has hopefully been solved to your liking #john watson #sherlock holmes #molly hooper #greg lestrade #mycroft holmes #mrs. hudson #euros holmes #rosie watson #soon to be rosie holmes-watson #mary watson #sherlock #time for me to sleep at last #tfp #tfp spoilers

[sighingrae]

My embarrassing fanficlet whatever #Johnlock

Forgiveness

Sherlock was sitting quietly in his chair with his hands in prayer position. Eyes closed. What’s he thinking about? Thud thud thud. It was John’s heavy steps schlepping up the stairs. Sounded diligent but sad. But why was John here? Why now? After months of nothing. Months of silent agony, and painful memories of the day Mary was killed. Or murdered? John abruptly opened the door. And stood there in the threshold, eyes welling, lips compressed. Hands in fists. John took 2 menacing steps toward Sherlock with his arms raising in rage, which prompted Sherlock to stand to defend himself. John lifted his arms up to strike Sherlock, but the farther up he got, his trembling hands became weaker. John crumbled to the floor over Sherlock’s feet and suddenly, Sherlock didn’t know where to put his hands. Sherlock felt John’s knees jolting into his feet with every sob.

Sentiment. Sherlock thought. Sherlock waited, apprehensively, mouth ready to spill a thousand words. He would neither welcome or reject John until he explained himself. John’s head tilted upward to meet Sherlock’s gaze, a gaze that said, you’re back. I need to know what you need from me. I needed this.

“Sherlock, I need to ask your forgiveness. I’ve been cruel. To you, my best friend. Who had nothing to do Mary’s death.” John put his head back down. “I beg you Sherlock. Let me in.”

Sherlock was new to this whole thing, but he knew the facts behind it. He quickly made up his mind in how he would handle it. Bowing slowly to John’s level Sherlock took John’s trembling cold hands in his warm ones and drew a warm inch closer to John’s moistened cheeks. John’s wet eyes look down at Sherlock’s parted lips. Sherlock made a deduction that day, that would remain his most courageous and scariest. He was smart enough to know John’s longing for him, he was smart enough to know that John’s rage was really the reaction to losing Mary, his security blanket. Who would John give his love to, now that Mary was gone? The inconceivable was happening. John and Sherlock crouched beside each other hand in hand shared a flushed moment just inches apart. The smell of Sherlock’s skin made John suddenly realize how close they were. John’s eyelashes fluttered downwards, but Sherlock grasped John’s jaw his huge hand, pulling his face towards him. John reestablished the gaze. Where did that come from.

“I forgive you,” said Sherlock diligently, “will you forgive me too?”

John looked into Sherlock’s steel blue green eyes and at his eyebrows furrowed with fear.

John needed nothing else but to hear this, and he replied Sherlock’s question with a feverish dive into Sherlock’s scared lips, that melted out every bit of fear in Sherlock’s heart, and Sherlock’s tense chest softened closer to John like melting butter. He reached safety. John sucked his lips until Sherlock was deep in the clear blue waters of John’s love, safe, warm, reassuring waters that were present in John’s eyes when he let go for a moment still breathing heavily. Sherlock was embarrassed, and averted his eyes and stood up. John stood and caught Sherlock by the wrist.

“I knew it,” John said. 

  “Obviously,” said Sherlock looking down with flushed cheeks. John pulled sherlock’s body toward him again by the wrist, and Sherlock let himself be drawn into John’s warm embrace. John shut his eyes. Sherlock shut his eyes.

#Johnlock #s4 #sherlock #John watson #johnlock fanfic #fanfic #Sherlock fanfic #johnlock fanfiction #Johnlock fluff #always fluff

[whitewolfofwinterfell]

4 , 9 , 17 , 18 , 24 , 26 , 31 , 32 , 20 ,

4. What’s your current NOTP?D*lena and C.lace. 

9. Do you have many ships that never got together at all?I already answered this, so I’m just gonna copy and paste, cos obviously it’s the same answer. I have a fair few. Off the top of my head, Eleven/Amy, Daryl/Beth, Dexter/Debra, Harry/Hermione, Bella/Jacob. Then there’s Emma/Regina and Bonnie/Damon, but there’s still a chance they may get together (we can hope!).

17. Talk about a pairing you’ve stopped shipping romantically.I already talked about Emma and H00k, so this time I’ll talk about Sherlock and John. I’d always been unsure about whether I shipped them romantically tbh, but it was one of those situations whereby cos the Sherlock fandom is so dominated by Johnlock fans, I kinda got sucked into it too and started shipping them. But I just realised that I don’t ship them romantically at all. Don’t get me wrong, I can see the chemistry is there, but I just see Sherlock as being so bad for John. There’s a very unhealthy dynamic to their relationship and ultimately Sherlock is always the one pulling the strings and John is forced to follow. But honestly, it’s mostly because I just see them as being friends more so than anything else. 

18. Talk about a moment which made you question an entire ship.I’d definitely have to say the TVD season 4 finale where Elena chose D*mon. Like I had complete faith all the way through season 4 that by the end of the season Elena would find her way back to Stefan because he was the love of her life, so I was actually so shocked when that happened and it made me doubt everything. Because like, her choosing to be with D*mon and loving him more than Stefan is something she said would never ever happen, so the fact that it had definitely made me question everything. There were a lot of moments are that that made me question everything too, but that’s another story haha. 

20. Talk about a ship you feel alone in shipping.Dexter and Debra. I’m pretty sure when the show as still airing and the fandom was bigger and more active, there were probably some Debster shippers, but most of them are long gone. And I remember in season 6 when Deb finally admitted she was in love with Dexter so many people were disgusted at the writers for going down that path and complaining how it was wrong for them to be together because they’re brother and sister and blah blah blah. But they’re probably one of my OTP’s and at the darker end of the spectrum on my shipping scale. I loved them for - in Deb’s words - being so fucked up. I loved that they were complicated, messy and dangerous. It was such an intriguing dynamic to me and it sucked me in. 

24. Do you mostly ship canon pairings?Definitely. There was a time when I pretty much only shipped canon pairings, because I didn’t understand the concept of non-canon ships. Like a lot of the time non-canon ships are two characters that are portrayed as being solely friends or they barely interact and I’d be thinking, “So why/how do people ship them?”. But over the last year or so I’ve opened myself up more to non-canon pairings and they can actually be so much more fun than canon pairings. The reason for that is that there’s more creativity involved. The shippers can create endless headcanons and write stories of what could/should happen in the future with the ships or create endless AUs, they can make manips, write theories on how they think the ship could be canon or why they should be canon. With non-canon ships it’s an entirely different world that is completely open and free for the shippers to do what they want and I think sometimes canon ships don’t have that, because there is a limit on the creativity and freedom because the focus is the material/scenes they’re given by the show/movie, rather than creating their own, if that makes sense. 

26. Have you noticed a pattern in your shipping? Is there a romantic dynamic you’re more drawn to?I already answered this one, too, so here’s my answer from before: I don’t think I have a pattern to my shipping. In fact, I think if you look at a list of my ships it’s very random. I’m really the kind of person where if it’s there for me it’s there. Like, your ships just choose you and it’s a hard thing to explain why or how it happens. I think that the only thing that all of my ships have in common is that they changed each other’s life in some drastic way. I think I’m generally drawn to those domesticated, loving, supportive, soul mate, vanilla type relationships where the two people are good for each other. So I’m talking about ships such as Monica/Chandler, Snow/Charming, Jane/Michael, Glenn/Maggie, Michael/Sara. But at the same time, I have a fascination with ships that are the complete opposite, ships that have an interesting, messy, complicated and sometimes even a dangerous dynamic, such as, Regina/Emma, Dexter/Debra, Chuch/Blair, Cook/Effy, Henry VIII/Anne Boleyn, Phoebe/Cole and Jax/Tara. So yeah, for me it’s all about chemistry and whether the story of the couple intrigues me or not. Whether or not I like the characters involved as individuals also has a pretty big influence. Generally, most of my ships involve two of my favourite characters.

31. Talk about one of your favorite headcanons for a ship you love.The one that really sticks out in my mind, is one I have for Eleven and Amy. When the Doctor was gone for long periods of time, Amy missed him so much that there were nights where she’d lie awake at night. She just couldn’t sleep, because every time she closed her eyes she saw his face and she was constantly straining her ears to listen out for that familiar sound of the TARDIS. So, she’d wait until Rory fell asleep, then she’d sneak downstairs, go in the freezer, grab a box of fish fingers and then go to the cupboard and reach for a can of custard. Once they were done she’d take her bowl of fish fingers and custard outside into the the back garden and perch herself on the bench. It would be bitterly cold, so she’d have a woolly blanket wrapped about her shoulders, the bowl cupped in her hands and steam rising from it. She didn’t even notice the tears streaming down her face until she lifted the bowl up to her face, inhaled the smell and noticed them dropping one by one into the bowl. Once she saw them it made her cry harder until she was sobbing. She stayed out there in the cold for a long time simply bawling, until the fish fingers and custard were cold and then she looked up at the stars and prayed for her raggedy Doctor to appear from the dark night sky. She thought back to the night she spent lying back in the grass, hand in hand with the greatest painter that ever lived and her Doctor, she wished for more nights like those. She knew she should be moving forward, living her life with Rory, but she couldn’t let go of the Doctor or the life she had with him. Even after all those years, she was still the girl who was waiting and she’d realise in those moments that she didn’t know how to stop waiting. Eventually when the tears ran dry, she’d get up, take one last look up at the stars and whisper, “Goodnight, raggedy man” and then turn to head inside the house. She’d climb into bed next to Rory and feel so guilty that she still longed for the Doctor, that she still dreamed of running away with him all over again. Eventually she’d drift off to sleep, memories of the Doctor at the forefront of her mind. In the meantime, the Doctor would just be returning to the TARDIS after yet another adventure, he’d step in, a spring in his step and a jolly grin on his face, but once the door was firmly closed behind him, the mask would slip and the sadness would return. He’d lived for nearly a thousand years, spent a majority of his life without Amy, yet the TARDIS didn’t quite feel the same without her presence. It didn’t feel like a home to him anymore. There was a deep sadness in his eyes, that no matter how hard he tried he could never hide, yet none of the people or creatures he met seemed to notice. He’d get ready for bed, change into some hideous grandad pajamas and he’d warm up a bowl of fish fingers and custard - just like he did every night - then he’d sit on his bed, eat it and finally feel like he was closer to home. Unlike Amy, he wouldn’t cry, because he knew he’d see her again soon. Instead he’d place the empty bowl at the side of his bed, turn the lights off, lie back and whisper, “See you soon, Pond”, before falling to sleep with a smile on his face and Amy in his heart

32. Share five must-read fics.I have to admit, I haven’t read many fics, so I don’t know if I can share five, but here are the ones I recommend:1. Break Me Everytime (Dexter) - honestly, no fanfiction story could ever beat this in my eyes. @six-impossible-things is such a talented writer, I could read her stuff forever.2. In the Aftermath (Dexter) - this is an addition to Break Me Everytime (above)3. There Are Rules (Dexter) - a sequel to Break Me Everytime (basically, if you like Dexter, read all of the fics Solia has dedicated to Break Me Everytime, because they’re amazing). 4. Black and Blue (Once Upon a Time) - the first (and only) Swan Queen fic that’s managed to keep my attention so far. But there are so many Swan Queen fics out there and this is only the beginning, hopefully soon I will be able to recommend a lot more. I don’t have a fifth to share. Sorry, I suck. 

send me a number…

#answered #my meta

[majiksart]

The ultimate OTP Advent Calendar

This is an advent calendar for the OTP’s of me and my friends. Odd numbers are Marvel OTP’s and even numbers are for other OTP’s. So everyday you’ll get a drawing and a story, that you can find below :) x

Day 01 - Stony Day 02 - Drarry Day 03 - Winterwidow Day 04 - Superbat Day 05 - Les Hawkeyes Day 06 - Destiel Day 07 - Clintasha Day 08 - Johnlock Day 09 - Frostiron Day 10 - The Impossibles Day 11 - Science Bro’s Day 12 - Merthur Day 13 - Ironhusbands Day 14 - Turrow Day 15 - Ironwidow Day 16 - Sheriarty Day 17 - Winteriron Day 18 - Wolfstar Day 19 - Phlint Day 20 - Sterek Day 21 - Winterfalcon Day 22 - Spirk Day 23 - Stuckony

Day 23- Stuckony

Bucky doesn’t know why he is in this situation. No wait. He actually knows why he is here. Because of his stupid boyfriends. It took only one frown from Steve and Tony in his very tight leggings and a bit of begging and here Bucky is.

On the ice. Ice Skating.

Or in Bucky’s case more like: Trying not to fall on his ass.

„Are you having fun?“ Steve asks and he grins so widely, that Bucky wants to shove him, so Steve will fall on his ass. The luck seems to come back to him, because just as Bucky think it, Steve falls.

„Now I’m having fun, thank you.“ Bucky says and he chuckles a bit at Steve. Steve sits on the cold ice and pouts. It looks adorable and Bucky would even help him up. But he can’t. Just one step and he would fall, too. He knows that from the last ten falls.

„Stevie, you okay?“ Tony asks worried and he skates over to them. He is smiling all the time, but now he kneels in front of Steve. Steve pouts a bit more and Bucky could swear even his underlip wobbles. Traitor. Tony seems to feel sorry for him and kisses Stevie right on the mouth.

Now it’s Bucky’s turn to pout.

„Hurts.“ Steve whispers and Tony cuddles even more into him. Bucky rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. Unfair. Steve knows exactly how to ice-skate. Bucky was even as a kid horrible at it. But of course he couldn’t say no, to his boyfriends.

„Do you maybe wanna hold my hand? Maybe you can skate better than? Feeling safe, with me?“ Tony says softly and Bucky’s heart does a flip. Steve smiles widely at Tony and then he tries to stand up again. As soon as he stands next to Tony, he holds his hand out.

„You are right. Now I feel safe.“ Steve whispers loudly, so Bucky can hear it and Tony blushes badly at that. He looks always so cute, when he does that and luckily he does that a lot.

„Good.“ Tony says back and then he stands on his tiptoes (in the ice skates holy shit) and kisses Steve. Bucky would be jealous, if that wasn’t so hot. Steve puts his hands on Tony’s hips and Tony’s hands are already in Steve’s blond hair. Bucky whistles loudly, because he can.

„What would be do without you?“ Steve asks, when they break the kiss. Bucky loves how destroyed they both look after just one kiss. Steve’s hair is a mess and Tony’s lips are already swollen.

„We would be inside, in front of the warm fire. Drinking tea and cuddle.“ Bucky answers and Tony turns around on him. It looks so easy when he ice skates.

„If.. if you don’t have fun, then we can go inside.“ Tony says and even though the soft smile is still on his lips, it doesn’t reach his eyes anymore. Bucky wants to kick himself. Steve behind Tony is also glaring at him.

„Oh no, doll. I just… I’m making a fool of myself here.“ Bucky says then and he shrugs. He is a super soldier. Why is such a simple thing like iceskating to hard for him?

„Don’t say that. You didn’t laugh when I said, that I can’t swim.“ Tony says quietly and Bucky remembers last summer. Tony was so shy and cute about it and Bucky loved to teach him.

„Will you hold my hand, too?“ Bucky asks and just as Steve he looks as sad as he can manage. Tony claps his hands and nods happily. This smile is real.

„Of course, Bucky! Okay so just take my hand and we start slowly. Steve gimme your hand, too.“ Tony says and then he is between Bucky and Steve. Where he belongs. Tony explains it slowly to them. He shows them how to skate and also how they don’t loose their balance.

Bucky doesn’t fall on his butt every two seconds, but he still falls. Luckily Steve is always there to hold Tony, so he won’t fall, too. Even though Bucky wouldn’t mind catching his sweetheart. And nobody is laughing at him. Not even Steve.

When he manages to skate 10 minutes, without falling, Steve kisses him so hard, that Bucky sees stars and then Tony giggles at them and he gets a kiss from both on his cheeks. Bucky feels a lot better now.

„So now you know the basics, how about some tricks?“ Tony asks after a while, when Bucky even manages to take a few steps without holding Tony’s hand.

„Tricks?“ Steve asks and Bucky wants to sigh. Even Steve doesn’t know any tricks, so he is at least not alone with this. Tony just nods and a moment later he has one leg in the air and skates on his other leg.

Bucky screams.

„Tony! Be careful!“ Bucky says and he holds onto the foot, that is in the air. Tony laughs loudly and Steve laughs, too. But he also holds Tony’s hand, which means he is a bit worried, too.

„I am carful, Buckaroo. I’m good at this.“ Tony says and then he sets his foot back down. Bucky hugs him as tight as he can.

„Sorry.“ He mumbles, but he still hugs Tony. Steve comes over to them as well and the dork puts his arms around them both. Tony giggles happily and Bucky kisses his head.

„Can we go back inside now?“ Bucky whispers and Tony laughs so loud, that Steve slaps Bucky’s head.

„What?“

„Well actually. Yeah we should go back inside. Because I know many things that Tony is good at.“ Steve says and Tony gasps loudly.

„I don’t know why everyone thinks Bucky is the dirty one and Steve the worried mother.“ Tony says smiling at them and Bucky shrugs.

Well he knew that from the start. And he wouldn’t change it. 

#stuckony #stuckony fanart #stuckony fanfic #tony stark x steve rogers x Bucky barnes #my advent kalender #advent calendar #ultimate otp advent calendar