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jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets · 3 years

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I Loved Him... Once - CH 5

Title: I Loved Him… Once

Author: jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Heid (Aaron Hotchner x Spencer Reid)

Rating: This ones General but eventually as the series goes it will be Explicit

Tags: canon typical violence and gore, eventual smut as the series goes, angst, fluff, pining, its gunna be a slow burn guys.

Summary: A series following the team as they solve crimes and take down the bad guys.

In Part one of this series, we follow the team as they take down a serial killer that has taken a piece of one of their own. And through it all, Spencer and Hotch come to a few conclusions and realizations of their own.

AO3

Masterlist

*** My works are not to be posted on any sites without my permission! But comments and reblogs are love! <3 Please and thanks!!

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Chapter 5

"Anything?" Dave asked as they joined the rest of the team in the conference room.

Aaron shook his head, "No DNA or any other evidence left behind, same as the others. How is the geographical profile coming along?"

Dave walked over to the white board with Aaron and Spencer. There were four red pins stuck into the map with a series of circles, all coming together in the center. “We've narrowed it down to this area here,” Dave pointed to the point where the circles connected, “his comfort zone isn't very large, but it's still far too large to just go around knocking on doors.”

“Do we have any form of a profile?” JJ walked over, standing beside Spencer with her arms crossed, “Aside from knowing that he's organized, revenge driven, and possibly done with his list, we don't have much more to go on.”

“Unfortunately not,” Aaron walked over to the table and caught Derek's attention, “call Garcia, put her on speaker.”

He dialed, placed his phone on the table, and after a few rings she answered, “Magical mistress of pleasure, what services can I offer you today?”

“Baby girl,” Derek crooned, “behave, you're on speaker.”

“Oh you're no fun!” She whined, but then asked, “What can I help you guys with?”

Aaron leaned on both hands on the table and towards the phone, “Have you found anything that connects our victims, Garcia?”

“Still nothing, oh fearless leader.” They all sighed. “I mean, they lived in the same city, sure, but none of them even went to the same grocery store or gas station. They seem to be just random victims. But that's weird right? I’m not a profiler, but there's usually always something that connects the victims and murders somehow, right?”

“Yeah, you're right, baby girl,” Derek ran a tired hand down his face and slapped it down on the table, “we'll call you back if we have anything that can help you in your digging.”

“Right, tahtah for now my beautiful flowers-”

“Garcia, wait.” Aaron stopped her before she could leave.

“Present, Sir. Is there something I can help you with?”

Aaron took a moment to look over to the still very quiet Spencer. He was still standing at the back of the room by the white board, hands in his pockets, and eyes fixed on Aaron. And he could tell just by the look in his eyes, Spencer knew what he was about to say, so he gave Aaron a barely noticeable nod before he turned back to the phone. “Yes, actually. I'd like you to speak with Reid about our last victim. He might be able to give you more insight that could help with your searching.”

“Why's that, Sir?”

“Because I knew him.”

Everyone fell silent, including Garcia, to the point where Aaron wasn't sure if they had lost their connection. “Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.”

Spencer didn't reply, just put his head down, so Aaron spoke, “I'd like Reid to tell you as much as he can about him and maybe we can find a missing link there.”

“Is… is he okay to do that? Losing someone is never easy, and if he's not ready to talk about him then I’m sure I can do this myself, I mean, I don't want to make Spencer uncomfortable or upset anymore then I’m sure he already is, Sir, and I-”

“Garcia,” Spencer cut in as he took a few steps closer to the table, stopping her mini rant, “it’s fine.”

“Sweetie, are you sure? I mean, really, really sure? Cuz I can dig my heels in and wave my magic wand and you know I will eventually find the things that people do not want me to find.”

“I'm sure,” he smiled a bit, it was nice to have someone looking out for his feelings, “I'll tell you everything I know.”

“Okay…” She breathed into the phone, “Okay, whenever you're ready.”

Spencer took a breath and looked around the room. Suddenly all eyes were on him, and as much as he loved his team, his family, he wasn't sure he was ready for an audience. It was one thing to talk to Aaron, and another to talk to Garcia to help the case along, but in front of everyone all at once…

“Give us a moment, Garcia,” Aaron stood and motioned for Spencer to come with him, and made his way towards the door, “I'm going to take Reid into another room, I'll call you from my cell when we're settled,” and they were gone.

“What do you think that's all about?” Derek asked, brows furrowed and a hint of worry in his voice. “Is there something we can’t know? Is the kid caught up in something here?”

“Lover, I'm sure it's fine,” Garcia was still on the line, “talking about these things isn't easy, you know, maybe Hotch just wanted to give Reid some space.”

“You don't think he's giving him a hard time do you?”

“I think you're going in the wrong direction,” Dave moved to sit beside Derek, a small smirk playing on his lips, “I’m certain this doesn't have anything to do with Aaron giving Reid a hard time. Just let them play this out.”

“Play what out?” Derek raised a brow and looked around the room, finding nothing but more confused and concerned faces. “What's going on?”

“More than you know, kid.” And David just left it at that, but of course Derek was not satisfied with that vague answer.

“That's our man calling on the other line,” Garcia said, getting Derek's attention again, “gotta go, lover. I'll make sure he's good, promise.” And she was gone, leaving Derek to think through what could possibly be going on in the other room, and worrying about Spencer alone with their boss.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Spencer entered a smaller room on the other side of the station with Aaron, who closed the door behind them and shut the blinds. He gestured for Spencer to sit at the table, pulling out his phone and placing it in front of him, “I know this is going to be hard,” he began, standing beside Spencer, “but I want you to tell Garcia as much as you can about Eric. Start from the beginning, where you both went to school, anything you know prior to your meeting, and as much as you can about his personal life. Maybe something you say can help Garcia find something to help us catch a break in this case.”

He nodded, looking down at the phone and watching as Aaron dialed her number. “I'll give you some privacy.”

He turned to leave, but Spencer reached out quickly and grabbed his arm to stop him, “I'd rather you stayed… if you don't mind.”

“Of course.” He turned and sat back down and Spencer immediately moved his hands from Aaron’s arm to hold his hand, pulling it over into his lap to play with his fingers again. It was becoming somewhat of a comfort for Spencer, and Aaron wasn't going to stop him.

The phone rang a few more times then before, and the bowling ball in his stomach seemed to sink further and heavier as they waited for her to finally answer, “I’m here.” Her soft voice soothed Spencer a little. “Are you ready, Reid?”

“Yeah, I'm ready,” he squeezed Aaron’s hand as he prepared himself, “I'll just start from the beginning then.”

“Yeah, honey, yeah. You just… you start wherever you feel comfortable.”

He took a few calming breaths, holding Aaron’s hand even tighter, then started, “His name was Eric Watts, we met at Caltech. I was working on my first doctorate and he was a third year math student. I don't know much about his past, except that he was an only child and was orphaned at the age of six. His parents died in a car accident and he had no other family, so he was filtered through the foster system until he was eighteen.”

“Good, good, this is good. Keep going if you can.”

“We both spent a few more years in university after we first met, then I got an offer from the BAU and Eric got a job offer in California, at some financial company, but I don't know the name, I… I never asked….” He trailed off.

“You okay? And you're doing great by the way.”

“I’m okay, I just,” he trailed off again, thinking back on everything he knew about Eric, which now that he was put on the spot about it wasnt really much, “now that I'm thinking about it, I don't really know too much about Eric's personal life. We never really spoke about stuff like that.”

“That's okay, whatever you can’t tell me I'm sure I can fill in the rest. Is there anything else?”

He thought back, “I know he was never married, no kids, no other family. He's never been in any kind of trouble, worked the same job since we graduated, I… I don't know how he could have possibly gotten himself into something like this.”

“I promise you I will do everything I can to figure this out, Reid.”

“Thanks, Garcia,” he sniffled, using his free hand to wipe at the tears that had snuck up on him, “if I think of anything else that might help, I'll call you.”

“Alright, let me go work my magic. Warrior goddess, out.”

They sat there for a while, Spencer still holding Aaron’s hand until he was able to calm himself back down, and Aaron let him take as much time as he needed. Eventually he stood, pulling Aaron up with him and towards the door. “We should probably try and get a profile together, at least something to help the Sheriff and his officers in their search.”

“If you're ready.”

He stopped at the door and turned back to Aaron. He pulled him into another crushing hug, holding him as close as he could for as long as he could, reveling in the feeling of Aaron’s hands moving up and down his back, before he pulled back, “Now I'm ready. Let's go give a profile.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

The officers sat in front of them while the agents occupied the front of the room. This used to be something Spencer hated. Standing in front of people, other officers, and giving a profile. But now he enjoyed it, he enjoyed sharing his knowledge with the officers and detectives so that they could bring down the unsubs together.

His team mates around him all said their parts, then it was his turn. And this profile, if any, meant more than any of the others. They had to get this right, they had to find and take down this unsub.

He shifted where he sat on one of the tables, and leaned forwards a little as he spoke to the officers, "We believe this unsub to be extremely organized, highly intelligent, and on a path of revenge. They are not delusional however, but rather extremely focused and mission oriented. If you come face to face with this unsub it is very unlikely you will be able to talk him down, and more likely that you will become his next victim."

"We suggest if you do meet this unsub to please take cover where you can and call us for backup," Aaron came to stand directly beside Spencer, leaning his hand on the table beside his leg, providing him a small amount of comfort through the light touch. "And be advised that if cornered, this unsub will become extremely aggressive, even more so than he already is. Please, proceed with caution and if you find anything call us immediately. Good luck."

The officers filled out, ready and armed now with a profile to help them catch this killer. Derek came in just as the officers were leaving, and waved them all back into the conference room.

Once inside he closed the door and motioned to the phone in the middle of the table, "Hey, baby girl, they're all here, go ahead."

"So I was doing some deep diving through the lives of our victims and… I found something, a few something's actually."

"About Eric?" Spencer moved closer, sitting in a chair.

"Oh, honey," she began, her voice soft and quiet again, "I don't… I don't think you should hear this."

"I… I have to."

"Reid, you should have good memories of your friend. I don't think you need to hear this."

"I'm fine, Garcia. I need to hear this." He snapped a little, moving closer to the table.

"If you're sure…" She trailed off, giving him a second to think and change his mind, but when she was met with silence she took that for the answer it was. "Okay then. So, I was emailed a copy of the newest coroner's report, as well as the sheriff's report on his findings and, well, something didn't add up."

Everyone waited, still silent, but all eyes were on Spencer.

"Reid, you told me that his name was Eric Watts, but the report that the sheriff sent me has the name Mason Maddox on the file. There was a copy of the ID that the sheriff found through the database when the coroner scanned his prints. And so when I went deep dive I discovered that Eric Watts doesn't actually exist."

"What do you mean?" Spencer asked, brows furrowed as he stared at the phone on the table, taking a seat, "Garcia, I've known him for years. Eric Watts very much does exist."

"Honey, I'm telling you, he doesn't. His real name is Mason Maddox, and Eric Watts was a fake identity he made to try and cover up a very dark past."

"That's.. that's impossible. I've known him since university, he was twenty-one when we met, are you telling me he's been lying to me this whole time?"

"Yes, Reid, that's exactly what I'm saying."

"I… he can't…" He leaned forward, placing his head in his hands and covering his face as she went on.

"When I dug into his past, not his past as Eric but his past as Mason, before he met you sweetie he was into a lot of very bad things. He even spent five years in prison."

"Baby, how could he have spent five years in prison before meeting Spencer," Derek asked, clearly doing the math in his head, "he would have been under age when he was convicted."

"Yeah, he lied about his age too. He lied about everything."

"What did he serve the five years for?" Emily joined in now, seeing Spencer was too far gone at this moment to even think about asking questions.

"When he was younger he had a myriad of charges that were eventually all dropped. Breaking and entering, petty theft, and then all of a sudden he jumped right on up into assault with a weapon."

"What happened?" JJ asked this time.

"He nearly killed the guy, said he did it out of self defense but there was never any evidence to prove so. But he served his five years with no issues, not even one night in solitary. Then suddenly Mason Maddox just drops off the face of the Earth and that's when Eric Watts appears. With his new identity he got a job, moved to California, enrolled in school, and that's when he met you, Reid. But… there's more."

Aaron stepped forward then, placing a subtle soothing hand on Spencer's back where no one could see and asked, "What else, Garcia?"

"Your other victims, they aren't who their ID's say they are either. Who we originally thought were Karl Jennings, Adam Knoxs, and Joe Marsden, are actually Trevor O'Connell, Hayden Marletto, and Reese Runge. And when I searched the pasts of the real victims, I discovered that they actually are all connected.”

“Prison?” Emily assumed.

“Bingo, my fair maiden. All of them, including who we now know to be Mason Maddox, were in the same prison together over the same five year period, two of them even sharing a cell.”

“Did the other two share a cell with anyone, baby girl?”

“Yes, Trevor and Hayden shared a cell with each other, Reese shared with someone named George Yurish, and Mason shared with a one Tyler Prince.”

“What were the two cell mates in for, Garcia?” Hotch asked.

“Already on it, Sir.” They could hear her fingers furiously typing as she searched for the answer to his question. “George was in for arson and Tyler for, oh… multiple counts of murder. Apparently he was a part of one of the worst gangs in California, was a suspect in various different felonies, and was soon after caught red handed by California police dumping a body off the pier at night. After investigation they managed to connect him to at least three other murders. He was released from prison a month ago, which was four days before the first murder of Trevor O’connell.”

“He sounds like our guy. Got out and the first thing on his mind was revenge,” JJ added, “but why? What did the other four victims do to him that caused this much rage?”

Derek nodded along with JJ then asked, “What were the other victims in for?”

“Money laundering, fraud, and theft. Nothing even close to murder, so why did this guy kill his friends from prison?”

“None of this makes any sense,” Derek shook his head, “five guys meet in prison, one guy gets out years later and kills them all, and none of the victims even come close to matching the level of aggression needed to have been involved with a murderer. Why all of a sudden go after these men?"

“Garcia, send us the addresses of all the victims and Tyler Prince. Maybe our missing answers will be waiting for us there,” then he turned to the rest of the team and said, “Emily, JJ, you go to the houses of the first two victims, Derek and Rossi take the last two, Reid you're with me, were going to pay Tyler a visit.”

“The addresses are already sent to you, good luck and be safe my loves.”

The team started gathering their things to leave, but Aaron noticed that Spencer was still sitting at the table with his head down.

“Reid?” Aaron moved a little closer to his chair, but Spencer did not move, “We have to move, Reid.”

“I…” He finally looked up and stood abruptly, “I need a minute, excuse me.”

He quickly pushed through the rest of the team standing at the door watching with worried eyes, and practically ran out of the station. Derek grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair and started after him, but Aaron moved first this time, holding a hand up to Derek and stopping him in his tracks. He then headed out almost as fast as Spencer and followed his path around the side of the building.

Derek stood in the middle of the conference room, looking both a little hurt and angered that Aaron had stopped him the way he had. He cared about Spencer and was worried that not only was this case hitting him hard, but also that Aaron was making it worse. “What the hell was that?!”

“Derek, don't worry so much-”

“Don't worry so much?! Rossi,” He threw his hands up in frustration, getting angrier by the second, “not only am I worried about Reid because he just lost a friend and found out that he has been lied to for years by someone he considered close, but if you haven't noticed, since we found out he knew the victim, Hotch has not left his side for more than ten seconds. He keeps hovering over him, watching him, following him, he even came to our room last night to talk to Reid. He can still do his job, Rossi! I know he lost a friend and that’s hard, but he can still see this case through and catch this son of a bitch!”

David held his hands up in a calming motion with a small smile on his face, “Derek, easy, this is not what you think.”

“Then what is it?!”

“Reid can still do his job, we all know that. And as for Aaron, he knows that too, more than anyone. So just let this be, alright. Reid is fine and I promise you Aaron is not giving him a hard time.”

Derek eyed him, obviously still not convinced, “Yeah, well, I'm gonna keep my eye on that anyway,” and then he left the room to head out on his assignment.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Aaron ran around the side of the building where he had seen Spencer go, and sure enough he found him there looking as miserable as he had expected. He stopped short of him, watching him violently rub the palms of his hands into his eyes, before slowly walking over.

"Reid?"

He sucked in a sharp breath, wiping his eyes before answering, "I'm fine."

"Reid, you're not," he placed a hand on his shoulder to turn him around. Now face to face he could see how red his eyes were, a little wet, and he didn't know if he could do anything to make it better. "Sit this one out, please, I hate seeing you like this."

"Hotch, I'm fine, I told you," he sighed, hard and long, "but I don't think I'm fine enough to go to the apartment of the man who might have killed Eric. If I could I'd… I'd like to go to Eric's instead, see what I can do there to help figure this out."

"Yeah, yeah of course," he nodded, placing his other hand on Reid's shoulder, "I'll switch you out with Rossi. And if you need anything while you're there, do not hesitate to call me. Anything.”

Spencer just nodded, then suddenly the weight of Aaron’s hands on his shoulders had become hypersensitive to him. His arms itched to wrap around what was now becoming Aaron’s familiar frame against his, and his fingers itched to dig into the fabric of the back of his jacket. He took a small, shuffling step forwards and said, “There is one thing-”

And before Spencer could even say anything more, Aaron was already closing the gap and pulling Spencer into his chest. He allowed them to stay like that for a few long minutes, since the tree line in the garden beside the station provided them cover from anyone who might be walking by. And Spencer did dig his fingers into Aaron’s jacket, and buried his face in his neck, breathing in his cologne and letting the scent slowly calm him. He also let himself fall into the soothing feeling of Aaron's hand at the small of his back, and the other rubbing his fingers into the nape of his neck, massaging his stress away.

Aaron let him cling to him until Spencer felt he was ready and pulled back muttering a quiet, “Thanks.'' Aaron was more than happy to be there for him anytime he needed, and he let him know as much before leading them out to the cars, informing David of the change and watching Spencer leave with Derek. He had wanted to keep Spencer as close as possible, but if this was what he needed right now, then he would make sure to be there for him as soon as they were finished and back at the hotel. But for now, he had to focus and catch this bastard before he could do any more harm, and bring Spencer the closure he deserved.

~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Hey guys! Sorry this is so late, but here is the next chapter as promised XDAnd I know I said there would be another Spencer and Aaron moment, and there is a small one, but the one I was actually talking about will be in the next chapter. This chapter was getting too long and I had to split it into two parts.

Also, the reason this is so late is because I was accepted into university today! And it only took me ten years after graduating high school, but I am finally here! And I didn't think I would even get in. I applied on a last minute whim and the program is super competitive, but I got it! So I spent a lot of my day today getting some things ready for that. And that being said, I might change this from a twice a week posting schedule to a once a week posting. That'll give me a little more time when school starts up in a few weeks to make sure I have updates ready for you guys.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Let me know what you guys think <3

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may-odaigahara · 5 years

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Fandom: Supergirl

Ship: SuperReignCorp

Summary: Kara surprises even herself as she and Sam flirt relentlessly, much to the chagrin of Lena. Will the three women be able to navigate their increasingly complicated relationships, and will any of them ever just look up what “polyamory” is? Will they all be able to find their happy ending?

This is a no-powers AU

Hey guys, chapter 3 is up! Please leave some comments/kudos!!

Lena finds herself in CatCo, having been invited to speak at one of their all-hands-on-deck biannual staff meetings. Since L-Corp does, in fact, own the entire corporation, she can’t blame them for asking her to give a speech. She feels more than a little out of place, and focuses mostly on the excellent return-on-investment CatCo has been (something that Sam is always going on and on about), and ends with a few quick platitudes about the importance of good journalism and the value of unbiased reporting.

Lena hangs around throughout the entire meeting, since James is going to give a speech as well and that’s always pretty funny, and because there’s a meeting back at L-Corp she’s desperately trying to miss because all of the people in it annoy her. She tries her hardest to slip out and disappear once it’s over, but before she can get to her car who else taps her on the shoulder but her best friend, Kara.

“Lena, hi! That was a great speech.”

“Really? I thought you’d have qualms about my praise of unbiased reporting. I still remember the rant you went on about how there’s no such thing and a ‘lack of bias’ often skews towards the status quo.”

“Well, yes, that’s all definitely true. But it was still great! Sam’s been talking a lot about the ROI stuff, too. Economics and accounting definitely aren’t my thing, but making money is good. Means we can keep fighting the good fight.”

And there it is. A reference to Sam, already. Lena knows she shouldn’t feel this way, and thus pushes these feelings as far down as they can possibly go, but watching her two best friends (best friends she also has or has had crushes on) embark on this relationship together is hard to handle even when she’s at her best, and public speaking always makes her feel a little more fragile.

“You’re such a bleeding heart,” Lena says, attempting something of a playful smile at that. “And your job is safe. Keep it up and we might even buy you guys a second espresso machine for the break room.”

“Oh, I don’t know if that would be a good idea,” Kara says, grinning. “Daisy – she has an office near mine – already goes through, like four cups of coffee a day. A second espresso machine might be genuinely deadly.”

Lena laughs. For obvious reasons, she hasn’t been spending as much time with Kara as she had before she started dating Sam, but even this is enough to make her miss it. Kara is just so delightfully easy to be around, so willing to carry a conversation, so happy to tell even the dumbest of jokes just to make someone laugh.

“Well, I’ll certainly take that under consideration.”

“Hey, so, do you have some time to grab lunch? I feel like I haven’t spent as much time with you lately and we need to hang out. I’ll even let you choose the restaurant.”

Lena certainly doesn’t feel like she needs to hang out with Kara, mostly because she thinks doing so would slowly kill her. At the same time, though, Kara is looking at her with that look in her eyes and she sounds so genuinely apologetic about not carving enough time out of her schedule for Lena, despite the fact that it’s been Lena who hasn’t been making time for her, and there’s no way she’s going to say no at this point.

“Sure, I have some time. I’m taking you to a place that serves only salad, though.”

Kara presses her lips into a tight line but doesn’t complain, and Lena counts that as a victory.

Kara naturally orders what is genuinely the least healthy salad that the restaurant has – a some kind of monstrosity with blue cheese dressing and bacon bits. Lena just shakes her head fondly as Kara begins stuffing lettuce into her mouth while also trying her hardest to continue telling her story about how she and her coworker, Jemma, have discovered the perfect ratio of Lucky Charms to Frosted Mini Wheats to milk in their morning bowls of cereal. It’s silly and dumb and perfectly Kara to start a friendship over appropriate cereal ratios.

It’s then that Lena realizes just how deeply in trouble she is. Because she wants this, she wants this always, to have Kara all to herself to tell her dumb stories from work and take her out to different restaurants around the city, to bask in her bright smile and blue eyes. It’s impossible not to fall for someone like Kara.

But, she could never betray Sam like this. Though it’s becoming increasingly difficult, Lena wraps up her feelings in a tight little box and shoves them off into a dusty corner of her mind. She thought that things would be easier now, having tried so furiously to stamp out whatever emotions she had the night of the gala, but everything seems to have gotten worse.

“Hey, what’s on your mind?” Kara asks, voice full of concern. “You seem a little off today.”

“It’s nothing,” Lena says, smiling. “Nothing. Just work.”

Lena swears that Kara can see right through her, see right down to her hidden feelings and buried insecurities and darkest secrets. Those blue eyes are so open and earnest that Lena genuinely considers simply giving all her secrets away, but there’s no way that she could. Doing so would result in ruining not one but two friendships, and Lena is low on those to begin with.

“Okay,” Kara says, plainly not believing her but also kind enough to not press the issue. She rests her hand atop Lena’s, who nearly begins hyperventilating at that casual contact. “Don’t work yourself too hard, alright? You deserve to take a break, just like anyone else.”

Lena laments Kara’s natural, earnest kindness – it is a torture too much for her. “Thank you, Kara. You’re very sweet.”

“Well, you are my best friend and all,” Kara says. “I’d get awfully lonely if you work yourself to death.”

Lena feels as if her heart stops.

Lena knocks on the door to Sam’s apartment and Ruby quickly opens it up for her, a bright smile on her face.

“Auntie Lena! You’re here!”

“I’m here, Rubes,” Lena says, drawing Ruby into a quick side-hug. “Where’s your mom?”

“Mom is here,” Sam says, poking her head out from her bedroom. “Sorry, I had to decide on which t-shirt I didn’t mind getting glue on.

Lena lets her gaze travel up and down Sam’s figure – she’s just dressed in an old band tee and a pair of slim-fitting joggers, and yet she’s still so beautiful that Lena finds herself chewing on her lower lip just to have an outlet for the desire that coils up in her gut. It’s really not fair, Lena figures, that she happens to have a crush on both of her best friends.

“How do you look good dressed like this? It’s very frustrating,” Lena asks, feigning annoyance.

“Because I’m tall and hot, Lena. And you’re one to talk, given that you always look like that.”

Lena feels Sam’s gaze roam over her body as well, and she certainly couldn’t say that the attention isn’t welcome.

Ruby crinkles her nose. “You guys are weird.”

“Hey, kiddo, when you’re our age you’ll accept any compliment you can get.”

“I’m twenty-four,” Lena says flatly.

“I know! Compared to Rubes you practically have one foot in the grave.”

Lena glares at Sam, who just grins cheekily back at her. “Can we just start this project?”

“Fine, nerd, let’s do it. Ruby, could you please take the floor and explain to Auntie Lena why we’ve gathered here today?”

“We’re making a 3D model of an organelle for AP Biology! Mine is the endoplasmic reticulum.”

“Good job choosing such an easy one to do, Rubes,” Lena says, teasing her fondly.

As Lena had assumed, this little arts and crafts project quickly descends into chaos. Ruby is struggling to properly glue the pieces of felt together in the right way to emulate the folds of the organelle, Sam is having a harder time than she’d like to admit sewing on the beads that are supposed to represent ribosomes, and even Lena herself has already cut two pieces of felt in the wrong shape.

At one point, Sam groans out loud, grabs a bottle of glue, and begins attaching beads to the back of Lena’s shirt. Ruby giggles as Lena dramatically gasps.

“Sam, what are you doing?”

“I’m sorry, but this project is dumb and annoying.”

“So you’re also going to be dumb and annoying?”

Sam just grins at her as Ruby giggles. Lena, her face a mask of faux fury, grabs a sizable piece of felt and begins pouring glue all over it.

“Lena, don’t you dare,” Sam says, backing up.

“Oh, Lena dares, Sam.”

Lena advances on Sam, who dodges out of the way into the living room. Lena dances to and fro before lunging at her, who trips over her own feet and falls backwards onto the couch. Somehow, Lena manages to get tangled up in her flailing limbs and also loses her balance, ending up falling forward onto Sam. The piece of felt slaps against the wall and slowly slides downwards, its glue-soaked weight working against it.

Lena is laughing so hard and feeling so genuinely joyful in a way she hasn’t in weeks that she doesn’t realize that her body is pressing against Sam’s, the heat radiating from her body and settling somewhere deep in her gut. Her laughter fades in her throat but her smile doesn’t and Sam is looking back at her with an expression that mirrors her own. She doesn’t know what it means and it makes her insides feel like twin coiled snakes of guilt and desire.

“You gonna get off, Luthor?”

The way Sam’s voice wraps around the syllables of her last name is positively sinful and that’s enough for Lena to practically leap off of her.

“Sorry,” Lena says, smoothing down the now wrinkled front of her shirt. “I think I got glue on your wall.”

Sam cranes her neck to see the piece of felt sadly peeling off the wall and laughs.

“Yeah, you did. I’ll take it out of your salary.”

Lena just snorts and looks off to see Ruby staring at her, an unreadable expression on her face.

They all redouble their efforts and finish the endoplasmic reticulum, and Lena politely but firmly refuses Sam’s offer to stay for dinner and heads straight back to her penthouse, where she makes a beeline for her bed and lies there as the colors of the sunset bleed into her room.

Lena wakes up blearily the next morning and the lines of her bedroom seem entirely foreign to her. It takes her a while to realize that she fell asleep in her clothes last night when it was barely eight. She props herself up on her elbows. The light of the early sunrise slips in through her curtains, opened just a hair, and she stares at the way that strip of light illuminates her white sheets for a long moment.

Lena thought she was in love with Sam back when they were in college together. They would make one another laugh like nobody else could, they shared secret glances and smiles and, once, after Sam had put little Ruby to bed, they kissed in the dim light of Sam’s crappy apartment living room. In all of her life up to that point, Lena had never felt anything like she felt with Sam.

Lex was arrested on charges of insider trading a month later, which Lena has always found incredibly, tragically hilarious. They hated him because he was fixing the game, so to speak, but not because he had been funneling money to domestic right wing, white supremacist groups for years. So, after that, Lena decided that she couldn’t let herself get close to anyone ever again.

(Sam had been perhaps too understanding and let this all happen. She was even nice enough to accept the position of CFO and pretend like nothing had ever happened between them).

Lena didn’t let herself get close to anyone ever again, not until Kara came around. And, really, she’s the reason Lena’s in this mess. (Lena’s feelings are the reason she’s in this mess, really, but when is that not the case?) She had thought her feelings for Sam had faded around the time she started falling for Kara. She thought wrong.

Lena finally extricates herself from her bed and walks into her kitchen, soaked in the morning light, and hopes that settling into her routine will quiet her treacherous feelings.

“Hey, what the hell is up with you?”

Lena regards Alex for a moment and snorts. Leave it to her to be blunt.

“Nothing is up with me.”

Lena tries to hide her pounding heart behind a veil of feigned annoyance, but with the way Alex is looking at her right now it’s like she knows, knows far too much about how she’s feeling.

“Something is always up with you, but especially in these last few months. You’ve been even quieter than you normally are. I mean, we’re at your favorite bar and you’re over here nursing a whiskey by yourself instead of kicking everyone’s ass at pool.”

Lena glances over at the pool table and spends just a little too long looking at the way Sam and Kara laugh over a particularly bad shot by Winn. Alex observes her and narrows her eyes.

“Is this about Sam and Kara?”

Lena begins to panic and it takes all of her experience as a CEO to keep her face an unreadable mask and still her body.

“Do you not approve?” Alex goes on to ask, an edge to her voice, but Lena is relieved that she hasn’t quite guessed her secret. Not yet.

“Of course I approve, not that it matters. Look how happy they are together.”

Lena realizes she must’ve said that too glumly, because Alex’s gaze is now painfully soft and she’s rubbing Lena’s back.

“Hey, don’t worry, Lena. You’ll find someone. You know, if I wasn’t married to the greatest woman on Earth, I’d take you out on a date.”

Lena raises an eyebrow at that. “Oh, you would, would you?”

“Yeah, you know you’re pretty hot, right?” Alex says, leaning against the bar. “You’re a little rich for my blood, though.”

“You’re an orthopedic surgeon,” Lena says flatly.

“And yet, you make as much in a month as I do in a year.”

Lena just stares at her, though it only takes a moment until Alex is laughing. Lena can’t help but join in, and suddenly, she feels at least a little better than she did before. Alex draws her into a warm side-hug and, as Lena rests her head against her shoulder, she completely understand why Kara loves her sister so much.

“Hey, friends!” Kara greets, bouncing on her heels. “Are we ready to get started?”

Alex takes one look at her and pulls the brim of her cap until it’s covering her eyes. Kara sputters and readjusts it, looking terribly offended as everyone laughs.

“Jock Kara has returned,” Alex says. “Everybody watch out.”

“I’m not a jock!” Kara protests.

The group is silent.

“Okay, who thinks I’m a jock?” Kara asks.

“It’s so obvious,” Alex is quick to say. “You did basically every single sport you possibly could in college and in high school. Total jock.”

“You also spend way more time in the gym than anyone I know,” James says. “I can see it.”

“Yeah, but Kara also loves art. I remember when we visited National City’s museum of modern art – I don’t think anyone could’ve gotten her to stop rambling,” Lena says fondly, a thrill going through her just from being able to say that she has this memory of Kara that’s shared just between the two of them. “So, she’s an art ho.”

“An ‘art ho?’” Winn asks. “C’mon, Lena, that’s not even on the Nerd-Jock, Goth-Prep axes. And, besides, Kara is a total nerd, just like me.”

Everyone stares at him.

“Okay, fine, not just like me. But, Kara does have all of the nerd credentials – multiple degrees, a deep love of science, an ability to recall minutia about the pop culture she consumes…”

“At least I don’t play Magic,” Kara says, grinning at him.

“Hey, Magic is cool! It’s a lot of strategy and high-level thinking!”

“Right, totally,” Sam says, patting Winn’s shoulder. “You are right, though, Kara is a total nerd. She was at my apartment the other day and she spent half the time helping Ruby with her chemistry homework. Voluntarily.”

“Chemistry is fun!” Kara says. “I mean, they’re just getting into, like, stoichiometry, which is pretty basic but still very important!”

Alex groans. “Oh god, you are a nerd.”

“You’re the one with the biochemistry degree,” Kara fires back.

“Yeah, but I’m also super cool. Orthopedic surgeons are the jocks of the medical world,” Alex says, before turning to Maggie. “Right, babe?”

“Uh huh, you absolutely are, babe,” Maggie says, a playful grin on her face. “Very cool. Super, super cool.”

“Ugh, traitor.”

“Can we please just start this hike?” Lena groans.

Lena knew she would be in trouble. She knows what both Sam and Kara look like in athletic clothing, but to have them both here in front of her, a light sheen of perspiration on their skin as they conquer this hike with ease as they laugh and flirt, is just too much for her. They both had the audacity to wear perfectly form-fitting workout shorts and tight tank tops and Lena finds it nearly impossible to look away. Kara’s biceps alone draw her gaze back in about a half-dozen times.

“Luthor!”

She turns around to see Alex marching up towards her with ease, like the crushing incline of their path doesn’t even register to her. It’s incredible unfair that both of the Danvers sisters are in absurd shape.

“Danvers. What’s up?” Lena asks, trying to make it sound like she’s not terribly out of breath already.

“So, I was thinking about that conversation we had the other day, at the bar.”

Lena is surprised. That had been over a week ago, and Alex is still caught up on it?

“There’s woman who works in the admin department at my hospital,” Alex continues. “I think you’d really like her. She’s smart, funny, and attractive in a sort of ‘reformed punk/goth’ sort of way, which I can only assume you’d be into.”

“I never should’ve shown you those high school pictures,” Lena grumbles.

“Anyway, she’s single and aggressively bisexual – you would not believe how many bi pride flags, pins, and stickers she has around her desk – so if you want me to set you two up, I absolutely can.”

As Lena mulls the offer over in her mind, she can’t help but steal another glance at Sam and Kara. They’re walking side-by-side, their shoulders brushing even though the trail is wide enough to accommodate them both, and Sam is smiling in that way she only ever does around Kara and…

“Yeah, that would be great,” Lena says, managing a smile. “What’s her name?”

Chloe! You guys will hit it off, I promise,” Alex says, rambling off about her, and Lena hopes this is what she needs. A worthwhile distraction.

Lena gets Chloe’s number and invites her to a casual yet highly-regarded French fusion restaurant downtown. It’s fun, in its own way, to go through the rituals of going on a date, something she hasn’t done in a very long time. She agonizes over her outfit, she does her makeup and hair to perfection, and she even revels in the way her heart speeds up with nerves as she’s waiting for her date to show up.

Chloe is exactly as advertised. She’s incredibly smart, funny in a surprisingly and refreshingly sharp and biting way, and easy to talk to. Not only that, but she’s stunning, with warm, kind eyes, a strong jawline, and, as Alex had alluded to, the underside of her hair is dyed a hypnotic blend of blue and purple in a sort of concession to the days when he hair was entirely dyed in those shades. Lena genuinely can’t remember the last time she had a first date that went this well. Even her first date with Jack was awkward and uncomfortable at times.

Chloe isn’t Kara, though, and she’s not Sam.

And therein lies the problem.

#superreigncorp #supergirl #superreign #supercorp #fanfiction #personal writing

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ddrkirbyisq · 7 years

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The past week or so has really felt like a rush of activity for me. But it was satisfying to work through it all and have enjoyed it a lot. Work has been getting steadily busier as we approach our deadline for getting a demo build out for PAX (which is at the beginning of September). There is plenty to get done and at this point it's mostly a matter of working hard and making sure that we are prioritizing the right things, as well as pacing ourselves and making smart decisions. The pacing part is especially important for myself, as I learned from experience about half a month ago that it's really unsustainable for me to try bringing work home with me. That kind of thing always tends to sneak up on you before you even realize it was happening, but it's important to be cognisant of it. Since then I've tried to be better about setting boundaries for myself and understanding (through experience) my own limits and what works best for me. After all, if you aren't the one who is going to understand that, then who is? I also had a brief stint keeping an "energy log" of sorts where I was tracking physical/mental/emotional energy over the course of the day -- not very rigorously or anything as I wasn't aiming to get much quantitative data, but more just general observations to understand the kind of things I need to stick to or avoid to make sure that my days are closer to the way that I would like them to be. It probably comes as no surprise, but I figured out that I basically need to keep in mind 4 pretty important things -- #1 is not taking work home with me, #2 is getting enough sleep, #3 is not eating heavy meals, and #4 is a more general not getting distracted by "junk" type activities. Out of those the first three are really the most important as without those in place it's really hard to have good habits anywhere else. Again, no real surprises here, but perhaps it was at least helpful for me to see the more direct correlations between things here and there. We went again to go watch shooting stars (the Perseids meteor shower) this year! Viewing conditions were a lot further from ideal this time and we didn't get to see nearly as many as a result, but it was still a good time for sure and I was glad to have good company for it. JaSmix finally happened and it was a smashing success! I actually barely had enough time to prepare for everything, due to multiple factors all compounding together...I hadn't been getting a great amount of sleep that week but still had to make sure I was prepared to teach both my WCS and waltz workshops, as well as help co-dj. Except, last minute it turned out that I had to be the only DJ, whoops! We went to go see the Perseids the night before (and thus stayed out really late) so I slept in the day of, and I actually basically did nothing else for the entire day besides JaSmix stuff, lol. I woke up and set to work preparing 2 extra sets worth of music, then after that I wanted to run through my WCS class one more time to make sure I had it under my belt...then we packed up everything, picked up food, and went off to campus... Despite all the minor snafus that happened along the way (including the brief stint of time where we were just teaching WCS out in the courtyard since we couldn't get inside) I really couldn't have asked for a better event. The classes went well, a lot of people showed up (a surprising amount of people showed up on time too!), I saw people having a lot of fun, and everyone seemed to like the music too. Definitely checking this one off as a success in my book. Teaching the classes was pretty fun, though of course stressful in terms of preparing (especially for Intro to WCS) as well as a bit nerve-wrecking. Before this I've actually taught two other waltz classes -- a class on waltz musicality last year at JaSmix 2016 (which I also ran), and then a class on role-reversal variations (a.k.a leading from the follow position) a few years ago at JaSmix 2014. I've come quite a long way since 2014 -- I remember teaching that class and feeling quite stiff about it, though I think it still went "more or less alright". It's also a weird feeling (and kind of sad) that so few people at JaSmix this year were around for that class -- I could probably could them on a single hand... Anyways, these two classes were quite a bit better (improvement, yay!). I think part of that is due to having better class structure -- especially for the WCS one, where I really tried to think about what order to go over things in (there's a lot). The other part of that I think is just my own skills having improved a lot in the intervening 3 years. My WCS is still very sloppy but it's at least somewhat improved since then (...I think...), but especially in waltz I feel so much more knowledgable about how the dance functions than I did before. Nowadays when I dance together with someone or even watch them dance I think it's very easy for me to understand what is going on with their dancing and what (if anything) they should be working on improving, whereas before I could probably sense it on an intuitive level but could never pin it down. I also understand a lot more about really what goes into the physics of leading and following and that has immensely helped me in becoming a better waltz dancer. WCS actually has done a lot to help me in that regard, as things like prepping, connection, acceleration/tension, and being relaxed are really emphasized a lot more in WCS instruction and are super applicable to the social waltz that we do. One of my weak points as a teacher is that I find it really difficult to adapt and react to how people are doing when I teach to a large group -- it pretty much takes all of my mental focus to remember what I'm supposed to be saying and teaching so I don't have a lot of bandwidth to watch people and try to analyze how they are doing, but this time I actually felt like I was able to do that a few times, which was quite helpful. As for specifically how the classes went, I think WCS was a "valiant effort" at instilling some good fundamentals in people, but of course it was difficult since there was such a wide range in experience levels -- there were some people who had never done any social dance before, so there's only so much you can expect from them, really. Nevertheless, I think at the very least people were having fun and at least trying things out, which was the most important part (it is an intro class after all), and hopefully some of the more experienced dancers at least walked away from the class with some better understanding of anchoring or technique or footwork or...anything really. The waltz class was a blast I think, and it seemed like everyone really enjoyed it, despite again there being a wide range of experience levels. I think I had a better "spread" of concepts in that class where there was a lot to soak up for the more experienced dancers but there were also some low-hanging fruit for newer folks to digest more easily -- I'll have to remember to keep that in mind if I ever end up teaching again. The most difficult part of the class was actually getting everyone to be quiet and pay attention so that I could keep the class moving along, but since I was moving along at breakneck pace I actually managed to cover a *lot*...looking back on it, there were only like...3 figures that I didn't end up going over, and I don't think those would have been a particularly great fit for the class anyways (though they are still very cool). If nothing else, I'm at last satisfied that I was able to do my rant about pattycake->free spins because that has been a pet peeve of mine FOREVER now and I am tired of seeing that mistake be made over and over again. It seemed like that concept really clicked with people so here's hoping that at least that alone will have done a little bit to raise the proficiency of our lead/following... One thing I forgot to do is ask if there were any students who were interested in forming an organization to host workshops and practice sessions in order to work on more stuff like what I taught. You might remember that I was turning that idea around in my head quite a while ago but in the end after pursuing it further decided that there was no point in considering it until some student stepped up to make a VSO of some sort. Of course, now that I'm thinking of it more, maybe a regular weekly practice session isn't quite the best format after all -- maybe I could just randomly host a workshop + practice again, like a mini-JaSmix of sorts during the year -- more like a waltz weekend-type thing. But that is neither here nor there...I'm ready to be done with dance planning for a good bit now. Ludum Dare rating has been continuing to go on and there's still about a week left -- I've been going through games here and there and have rated 24 so far (our game has gotten 32 ratings). People have really been enjoying our game and its style/character which has been great! Despite almost killing ourselves on Sunday night while making it, it all came together really well and I'm pretty happy with how it all went. I'll be writing the postmortem either sometime this week, or maybe after voting ends and results come out. Things have been a bit slower on the music front recently as I've been busy with other things (namely, preparing for JaSmix and everything), but we've still got half the month left, and I hope to come up with one or two more "Potpourri" mashups to finish off my album, so that should be good. I'll be reaching out to a fan artist pokemon007 soon to see if I can get them to help out with the album artwork for that -- would be awesome if that actually ended up happening! We are finally starting to get a little bit of glorious fall weather now and I'm happy that we made it through another summer. I can't tell you how excited I am to be walking to the train station in the morning under cloudy weather again, hahaha. I've definitely been slacking on letter-writing (and connecting in general) lately, so hoping to spend a little more effort on that, I think. It seems crazy (probably because it is), but in just a handful of weeks it's already going to be time to start thinking about Christmas letters again. Yes, it's that time of year again already, hahaha. I actually have a special letter project that I'd like to try doing before all that though, so I guess that should be my next goal as far as writing is concerned. Then I can also try to take care of the birthdays between now and xmas, and after that, start on xmas 2017... This week is a fresh start and it feels like I actually don't have a lot weighing me down right now. Let's all do our best!

#Blogger

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summertime-writing-blog · 7 years

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When Stars Align and Worlds Collide- Chapter 1

Summary: Life is made up of good and bad times. It’s always better to experience both with others by your side.

Kim Seokjin learns this when he ends up collecting a ragtag group of boys who somehow end up teaching him much more than med school ever could. Min Yoongi learns this when he realizes there are some people you can trust. Kim Namjoon, when he figures out how heavy grudges can be to carry. Jung Hoseok, after he sees that not everyone leaves and forgets. Park Jimin, recognizing the importance of self-care. Kim Taehyung, when he finds people who love him without hurting him. And Jeon Jungkook, when he finally understands how precious and limited time can be.

Through all this, ‘they can smile as long as they’re together.’

Genre: Angst/fluff, Coming of age, HYYH-based AU

Pairings: Hoseok x Jimin, Taehyung x Namjoon, Taehyung x Jimin (minor) Jungkook x Yoongi (minor) Jin x Yoongi (minor)

Rating: M

Warnings: Implied child abuse/neglect, Unhealthy relationships, Underage drinking, Referenced drug use, Mentions of suicidal thoughts/attempt, Anxiety attacks

5 years earlier

Seokjin

It was raining, and he was going to be late. He was so going to be late. Of course, the one time he was running late for work had to be today of all days.

Jin was currently tearing the room apart, cursing his apartment and his job and his life, and everything else under the sun. He stopped and stood in the middle of the now messy living room, eyes frantically searching every inch.

‘I must be losing my mind. It has to be around here somewhere,’ he helplessly thought. He decided to call for backup.

“YOONGI!”

He heard a low grunt coming from his best friend-and-roommate’s room through his closed door. Sighing, he stomped down the hall to the last room and banged on the door (against the homemade ‘do not disturb’ sign’s warning).

“Yoongi, have you seen my work hat,” he began, “I’ve looked everywhere in this house, I’m going to be late! Then I’ll be fired, which means we’ll go broke, which means both of us will be out on our asses in the street! Do you—”

The door slammed open, cutting Jin off from his rant. Yoongi stood there—looking way too exhausted for his 22 years—with Jin’s work visor hanging from his bony fingers.

“You left it in the washer with my laundry yesterday. Stop screaming, it’s 6:30 in the morning,” Yoongi mumbled, rolling his eyes.

“And you couldn’t have told me this earlier? I have to be at the café in 10 minutes!” Jin yanked the hat from Yoongi, hurriedly snapping it around his head, his fluffy brown hair sticking up around the crappy Velcro flaps.

“Didn’t know you had work today,” the blond boy responded, heading back to his bed.

“We’ve lived together for almost two years and you don’t remember which days I work?”

“I don’t have enough brain cells left for remembering shit like that, Hyung.”

Jin sighed, fingers rubbing at his temples.

“You’re lucky I like you. I made pancakes for breakfast, there’s some left in the kitchen. I should be back around two, so we should have time to do dinner before I have to be at the bar.”

He got another grunt in response.

Taking that as an “okay”, Jin grabbed his pink Princess Peach umbrella (“it was on sale, Yoongi!” “Jesus Christ, I live with a child”), his keys and his wallet and headed out the door, rushing down the apartment building stairs.

Jin normally loves his job at ‘The Grind’, a small and homey café and bakery. His boss, Mr. Choi, is incredibly helpful and friendly for the most part, letting “his best baker” Jin take home some of the leftover stock when possible. The rough part is, having to be there a half an hour before opening time to get started on the baking. Which he wasn’t going to be, since the café opened in 5 minutes.

Today they were getting annual inspections done, and of course the universe would make him be late on the worst possible day.

That’s Jin’s life. Universe fuckery and Princess Peach umbrellas. Oh, and disappointing his parents, of course.

Jin subconsciously stepped harder on the gas pedal. He needed this job.

He also works nights part-time as a bartender at ‘Good Tymes’ an honestly questionable and seedy bar, which is decidedly less pleasant of a job than the café. But he’d been working there since he started university, and even though he dropped out and got the extra job at the café, he still needed both jobs. So, he deals with it. Like everything else.

“Jin, sweetie, your father and I just think you’re making a rash decision. You’ve already gotten this far, there’s no sense in quitting. What are you even going to do if you drop out now?”

“Mom, I just…can’t do it anymore. I don’t think I ever really wanted to in the first place.”

“You’re just going through a rough patch, that’s all. Everyone goes through moments like that in college. You’ll be fine; forget this dropping out nonsense. Your father is paying good money for that program.”

“Mom! You’re not listening to me. I don’t want to be a doctor! I feel like I’m turning into someone I’m not. This isn’t…this isn’t my dream. This isn’t what I want for my life.”

“Well, why don’t you just switch to another program then? Still a bit of a waste of the program tuition, but at least you’ll be working towards something. The law program there is very good too, they say. Or accounting!”

“I…don’t want to be a lawyer either… or an accountant. I don’t know what I want. That’s why I want to take a break. I need to figure out for myself what I want.”

“This is ridiculous Kim Seokjin. You’re being ridiculous. I knew that Min Yoongi character would be a bad influence on you. After everything your father and I have done to help you, this is how you’re repaying us?”

“This has nothing to do with Yoongi! I only ever started med school because you guys wanted me to!”

“Don’t raise your voice at me, young man. Your father wants to speak to you.”

“Mom I—"

“Seokjin. If you think we’re going to sit here and let you drop out of college, you must be out of your mind. I won’t have my only son throwing his future away because of some delinquent from the streets putting absurd ideas into his head about dreams, like he knows anything about life.”

“Dad, I’ve felt like this since before I even met Yoongi. I just can’t do it anymore, it’s driving me insane. I don’t want to quit school completely, I just need a year or two to figure myself out again.”

“…Alright. If you promise your mother and I that you’ll go back to university within 2 years, with a REASONABLE major picked, we’ll go back to helping you pay for school, and keep paying the truck’s insurance. BUT, you have to keep your job, start working full time. This isn’t a vacation. You’ll have to keep paying your rent on your own.”

“Yea, of course, definitely Dad. I promise. Thank you, thank you so much!”

“You better be sure about this Seokjin. This isn’t some game you can just start over.”

“I know. I’m sure. This is what I need to do.”

Yoongi

Shaking out his hair, still wet from the shower, Yoongi headed to the kitchen on a hunt for the pancakes Jin said he left for him. It was around noon, and Yoongi had a lot to get done before Jin got home. Dishes, probably, and vacuuming. Oh, and he promised Jin he’d take out the trash.

Technically, Jin doesn’t make him do all the housework. In fact, Jin is always telling Yoongi that he doesn’t mind cleaning, and that they can share the workload. However, Yoongi would often end up doing most of the work anyway. It’s the least he can do, he figures.

After all, Jin took him in when he was at his worst. And Jin’s the one working two jobs to pay bills and keep them from starving. Meanwhile Yoongi is just barely managing to sell enough of his music to get by with his part of the rent.

He leans against the wall and rubs his eyes, trying to ignore the stress and constant worry and guilt that always threatens to bubble up. No sense in thinking about all of that right now. He stands up straight and keeps walking.

‘I should be able to get everything done before two, no problem, it’s not too—’

His train of thought cuts off when he walks into the living room.

“Jesus Christ, Seokjin. What the fuck.”

The room was a sight. It looked like a mini tornado had torn through the small space. Couch pillows and throw blankets strewn all over the floor, bookshelves and side tables all disarranged, shoes everywhere except the shoe rack, and was that a Pikachu pillow pet on the floor? When did they even get that?

Yoongi lets out a deep breath. Alright, maybe some of this can wait until Jin gets back.

It was raining, and Yoongi was drunk.

Making his way down the familiar city streets at 1 in the morning, most of the usual places were starting to close up for the night. He wasn’t trying to go back to the party house yet though; too many fucking people, too much noise. So he was determined to find somewhere else to sit and have another beer... or two.

Jiho had told him about some bar that stays open until 3, but right now he couldn’t remember the name if he had a gun to his head. So he just kept walking.

After what felt like way too long in drunk-Yoongi time, he finally found a bar that looked like what Jiho had described. Some of the name sign’s lighting was out, and it was missing a few letters. Probably would have taken him a few seconds to figure out the name even if he was sober. He shrugged to himself and headed inside.

Surprisingly, there was still quite a few people there. Mostly depressed looking old men, but still. He wasn’t the only one, then.

Yoongi sat down at the end of the bar, looking around. It wasn’t very clean; smoke hung in the stagnant air, and there was a mysterious stickiness to the floor tiles that were broken and chipped in some spots. The worn out jukebox in the corner by the other end of the bar was currently playing some old, mumbling sad country song over the crackling speakers, too quietly for Yoongi to hear it clearly. There were a couple of ancient looking pool tables and some electronic dart machines in the back, one with an out of order sign carelessly taped to the front.

“Hey, you want to order something, or are you just admiring the beautiful scenery?”

Yoongi’s head snapped up toward the voice, and he tried to focus on the person speaking to him, his head swimming.

His eyes widened.

In front of him was a gorgeous guy, probably around his age or a little older, broad shouldered and tall. He was smiling at his own joke, his deep brown eyes shining and crinkling at the corners; his white teeth seemed to glow. His black hair fell effortlessly in place—it looked so soft, feathery. Yoongi wanted to touch it.

“Uh…yea. Just a. I mean. Just a house draft, please.”

“ID?”

Yoongi clumsily dug his ID out of his ratted wallet, thanking whatever deity above that he didn’t lose it somewhere back at the house.

The bartender looked closely at the ID, concluding it wasn’t a fake. He looked again at the reddish brown-haired boy sitting in front of him, looking like he had lost everything he had in the world—way too skinny, his face sunken in, triangle shaped eyes displaying a lifetime of exhaustion.

He offered another smile, giving back the ID, “Yoongi, hm? What are you doing out so late by yourself?”

Yoongi glanced at the man, wondering whether or not to answer that question. He was tired, so tired. But he wasn’t sure about spilling his guts to some random dude at the bar, either.

“You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to, it’s fine. My name’s Seokjin, by the way, but you can just call me Jin.”

“Like the drink?” was the only thing Yoongi’s alcohol and weed soaked brain could think to slur out of his mouth.

Jin rolled his eyes, “Yes, Yoongi, like the drink,” he complied, sounding like he’d heard it a thousand times. However, he was smiling just as brightly as before.

Then, his facial expression suddenly looked a little more serious, and he nodded to himself.

“I’m going to go get your beer really quick. I’ll be right back, okay Yoongi? Don’t disappear on me.”

For the first time in a long while, Yoongi smiled.

“I’ll be here waiting, I won’t go anywhere. Promise.”

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