#what am i supposed to say? no one who raped me or abused me ended up in jail or fired? n those who did it to my friends just lost some | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

14buddy22 · 11 months

Text

I’ll Spend the Rest of My Life Making It Up To You Series

Part 5 WC: 7.3K

Warnings: Hospitals, Nurses, Self-blame, Bruises, Police Officers, Angst, Fluff, Cuts, Scars, Cute Jack and Aaron moments, Family fluff, mentions of marital rape, mentions of verbal, emotional, mental, and physical abuse, restraining orders, custody battles, broken engagements, marriage

A/n: I really liked this chapter, reader finds safety in Aaron in this chapter. Next chapter, we really get going again. If I missed anything... LET ME KNOW!!

Series Masterlist // Masterlist!

Aaron was getting everything into Mason’s diaper bag, looking around your house, a place that was supposed to bring you safety, and it was a mess. He was trying to take pictures, trying to send a text, his mind going a mile a minute.

He finally was able to get a text off to Dave, just saying that he needed help at your home. They needed to collect as much evidence as they could and he was taking you to the hospital. Dave would know what to do, so Aaron wouldn’t have to be worried about that.

As you made your way downstairs with a duffel bag and Mason’s clothes, you looked at Aaron standing in your kitchen. He looked like he belonged there. You had this scary thought in the back of your mind that Aaron would be the one to investigate you if something were to happen to you. It’s strange seeing him in your kitchen. A kitchen you had once hoped to share with him.

“Let’s get you to the hospital. We’re leaving your car here. Come on.”

As he grabbed Mason’s car seat from your car and quickly installed it into his, you got in the backseat with Mason. You all drove in silence, quickly coaxing Mason back to sleep. As you and he walked into the hospital, he took Mason’s car seat carrier from you and began to talk to the Nurse.

You stood behind him, almost like you were hiding as if the nurse was your abuser. You were ashamed to even be there in the first place. Had you not left this relationship years ago, you wouldn’t be in the hospital right now. This was on you.

“They’re going to take you to a room. They’re going to have you change. They’re going to photograph everything. They will document every scrape, cut, and bruise. They’re taking you for X-rays at well. It’ll be lengthy, but once everything is done, we can leave. I’ll be out here with Mason when you’re done. Don’t worry about Mason. I’ll protect him. Nothing’s going to happen to you two anymore. I’m here now.”

Aaron went to go move to sit and you grabbed his arm. You were silently pleading with him to go with you. You didn’t want to be alone. You just wanted to feel safe and you didn’t feel safe with those nurses. You’re sure they weren’t going to hurt you, but they’re an unfamiliar face. You know Aaron. You know he’d protect you if he said he was going to protect you.

When Aaron realized you wanted him with you, he nodded at you and grabbed your hand. When he squeezed it, a part of you knew you were going to be okay. Somehow, somewhere along this deep mess, you and Mason were going to be okay.

Mason began to stir in his car seat and began to wake up. Before you even had a chance to grab him, Aaron grabbed him from his car seat and grabbed the diaper bag.

“I’m going to go see if he needs to be changed. I also am going to have the nurses call their local precinct to get SVU detectives down here.”

“No. Aaron, please. Don’t call them. It’ll be a hassle.”

“I’m calling them, Y/n. You’ve been abused by Jake for 10 years. It’s time to stop this. Put an end to it. Once this is behind, you can learn to move passed it. I know it’ll always be a part of you. I know that. But, it’s going to make you a stronger person and an even better mom to Mason. I’ll be right outside. I will be watching your room like a hawk, I’ll know who is coming in. Okay?”

You felt Aaron press a kiss on your forehead. For a second, it felt wrong. You shouldn’t feel comfortable in his arms, but you have no choice. He’s your safe spot. He’s your person. He was your best friend, and deep down, he continued to be, even if you hadn’t seen him for the past 3 years.

When the nurse came in, you told her to wait until your friend and son came back. You weren’t ready to be poked and prodded by foreign things and have them take pictures of you just yet. You know they were just doing their job, but you were scared. You needed Aaron.

When Aaron walked back in, he was cradling a sleeping Mason in his arms. He placed the diaper bag down and walked over to you. He didn’t miss the way you flinched when the door opened up. He didn’t miss how you flinched when he dropped the diaper bag on the chair a little too loudly.

“Dirty diaper and he’s now fast asleep. Did the nurse come in yet?”

“She did, but, I told her to leave. I-I didn’t want to be alone.”

You began to break down and cry. It didn’t help that you were just exhausted from the sleepless nights, the eventful day, and then the evening. Emotions were running high, you had a baby to take care of, and now you’re trying to think where you’re going to go next, and how you were going to afford a good lawyer to make sure that you get sole custody of Mason.

Aaron moved towards you and wrapped his free arm around you, pulling you closer. It was nice to feel loved. It felt good to be back in his arms. You missed that. You never realized how much you missed him until he was gone. Scratch that, you knew how much you missed him. You wrote to him almost every other day like you actually were going to send him those letters. Aaron was your safe space, and you didn’t realize that until now.

Bruised. Battered. Broken.

“Let’s get the nurse back in here. The quicker they take care of you, the quicker we’re going back to my apartment. We’ll talk through everything in the morning. I don’t want you worrying about a thing. You’ve taken care of your students and your son, yet, nobody has taken care of you. Let me take care of you.”

When you finally made eye contact with Aaron again, you couldn’t help but notice the glimmer of tears in his eyes. He was trying so hard to keep it together for you. It only made you want to cry even more, to see that a man had an emotion that wasn’t angry towards you.

After you closed your eyes and let your tears continue to fall, you felt Aaron’s hand come up to cup your cheek, wiping the tears that had fallen. When you looked up at him again, leaning into his touch, you whispered, “Okay.”

You were going to get the help you’ve been needing these past 10 years. You were going to get help from the man you once loved all those years ago, the one you had never stopped loving.

When the nurse came back into the room, Aaron had got you calm enough where she could begin to take photos. You had asked her to see the photos, to see what else they’ve found, but you watched the nurse look at Aaron and then she quickly smiled at you and began to take more pictures.

He didn’t let you look in the mirror, he wouldn’t let you see the photos. He refused to let you see yourself in this state. The bruises developed quicker than he would have wanted them to, but, that just meant they’ll heal quicker.

“I don’t want you to see yourself right now.”

“Aaron, please. Let me see what he did to me.”

“No. Not right now, I can’t let you do that to yourself.”

You were upset with Aaron. Why wouldn’t he let you see yourself? It was your body you had to live with. You were the one with the cuts, stitches, and bruises, but he wouldn’t let you look at yourself? You know he’s trying to protect you, but from what? The damage had already been done.

Aaron had put Mason in the car seat and when he made sure to buckle him in and that he was secure, Aaron moved towards you and grabbed your hand. The nurse still taking pictures and documenting everything.

All Aaron could think about at that moment was how he was going to protect you. How was he going to make sure you never had to see Jake again? How was he going to keep you and Mason safe? He also couldn’t stop thinking about the letters. He still had to get through a lot more, but he didn’t want you to know that his team gave him the letters.

Especially when you didn’t even want him to read them in the first place. Every heartfelt emotion was put into every single word of your writing. He wanted to get back to reading them. He wanted to know every single thing Jake did to you so he could use it as evidence.

But, he also knew he needed to be there for you. You needed him more than ever, so if that meant it’d be a while until he read the rest of your letters, so be it. You needed him. So, he needed to keep you safe.

“It’s almost over, okay?”

When Aaron said it was almost over, you wanted to say to him “It’s just getting started”. You know he was talking about the picture taking, the statements the police were asking for, but you were talking about what was going to happen next. Restraining order, custody battles, and getting justice for yourself.

Aaron wished he would’ve been more honest with you. He knew that the situation was only the beginning. He just wanted to ease your mind with the poking and prodigy the nurses were doing. The constant clicking of the camera. The questions seemed never-ending. He was just trying to calm you down.

When the nurses were done, the doctor got your head stitched up, then the police finished asking you questions.

“Where is he now, ma’am?”

“He’s out of town on a business trip he said. He’ll be gone until next week, but at any moment, he could always come back.”

“Does he have a family?”

“He does, his father’s the district attorney.”

You didn’t miss the way Aaron’s body visibly tensed up, just as you watched the way the cop who was writing this information paused for the briefest second. You knew this was going to be a hard battle. Especially when Jake’s father is well-respected in the district.

“But, his father’s so sweet. He loves Mason so much. I don’t want a restraining order put against his parents and brother. Just Jake. I can’t be mad at them. They don’t know what Jake’s been doing to me.”

You cried at the realization of what you were saying. You were getting the help you needed. You were going to get out of this cycle. Finally. 10 years worth of abuse was enough. It should have been enough after the first 3 months, but you didn’t realize it was a bad situation until he hit you. It took you 10 years to realize that.

When the police were finally done, they stepped outside of the room with Aaron. Leaving you to put on clothes that were not bloodied or torn. Clothes that covered up the bruises he left on you.

*****

“It’s going to be a hard case, sir. Her father-in-law is a highly-respected D.A.”

“I don’t care what it takes. You have a woman in there, with a 4-month-old son, who has been in an abusive relationship for 10 years. Anyone who has come in contact with her should have seen the signs to get her out. You’re going to go and do your job and investigate. They have a D.A. higher up than Jake’s father who will oversee the case. You do whatever you need to do to make sure that woman gets the outcome she deserves. No custody of the little boy, jail time for months and months of abuse.”

“And who are you to tell us how to do our job?”

Aaron wanted to lash out and beat the cop who was asking that. It didn’t sound like the one guy was going to be any help. Aaron’s team might have to do all the work. If Aaron lost his cool now though, it’d be over, and Jake would win, not you. He needed to set his ego aside and think of you.

“I’m a supervisory special agent as well as the Unit Chief for the FBI’s BAU. I also used to be a prosecutor. I know that as long as you document the evidence, this will be a case she has no problem winning. You need to do your jobs. My team will get everything they have to your unit by the morning.”

*****

When Aaron came back into the room, he whispered to you, “We’re going home. Come on.”

After walking out of the hospital room, you felt like everyone was staring at you, and you hated it. You didn’t want sympathy. You didn’t want people to say, “I’m sorry you went through that.” You just wanted Jake gone and out of your life.

As you and Aaron drove in silence, you couldn’t help but keep looking over at Aaron. He really was your hero. He always had been your hero, even when you two were childhood friends. He would make the bullies go away. He would yell at the older kids bothering the younger ones. You always said he was your hero. You just never believed that he’d be your hero someday.

As you pulled into Aaron’s apartment, you carried Mason’s carseat into the building and Aaron grabbed your bags. When he showed you the way to his apartment, he carefully unlocked the door, making sure you walked in before he did.

“It’s nice in here, Aaron. Didn’t take you for an interior decorator.”

“Well, it wasn’t really my doing. I had help from the team and Jack likes to decorate for the holiday occasions. It’s nice, really.”

You both chuckled and he said, “Here’s your room. Uh, I snagged Mason’s pack-n-play, we can put him in there to sleep until we can get a crib. Why don’t you go take a shower while I put this together.”

“Aaron, stop. You’ve done so much. Go get some sleep. I will put it together, it really doesn’t take long. All I have to do it open it and put the soft mattress on. It’s okay. Please. Just, trust me.”

“Y/n, I’m not arguing with you. Go take your shower. There arere towels in the hallway closet. Take as many as you need. There’s also extra shampoo and conditioner in there as well. I figured you didn’t want to use Jack’s Spiderman shampoo and conditioner.”

You chuckled thinking about the little blonde boy using his Spiderman bathroom set. It made you wonder, would Mason grow up to like Spiderman, or would he like someone else?

“Thank you, Aaron. For everything. I mean it.”

Aaron smiled at you and you heard him whisper, “Anything for you” just as you were walking away. It made heat rise to your cheeks. You felt it. You saw it when you looked in his bathroom mirror. You chuckled to yourself when you saw the Spiderman-decorated bathroom.

When you got into the shower, you felt like you were scrubbing for hours. You were trying to scrub every bad memory of him off your skin. The only problem was that Jake was always going to be a part of your life, of your story. You just had to choose how you were going to move past it. Jake will always be a part of you, but he gave you one good thing. He gave you your son, your pride and joy, the little boy who kept you going.

When you finally got out of the shower, you didn’t realize that you were in there for nearly an hour. You quickly changed into some clothes, threw your hair into a braid, and went to walk into the guest room.

What made you stop in your tracks is when you saw Mason sleeping in his pack-and-play with Aaron sleeping on the floor right next to him. You know he was an agent, you know he as a father, you know he had to be exhausted, but for him to make sure your son and you were safe, it made your heart swell. To know that you and your son would eventually be okay, it made things a little easier in your mind.

You didn’t want to wake Aaron up. He looked so peaceful, but you know if you didn’t, he would have a terrible backache tomorrow and you couldn’t live with that. You quietly knelt next to him and shook his body, whispering his name.

When he opened his eyes and saw you, he smiled. “You smell good, like Spiderman shampoo and conditioner. How was your shower?”

“It was good, longer than I expected it to be. Come on, get up, you can’t sleep on the floor.”

You helped him up and when he took a step forward, you and him both didn’t miss the way your bodies both let the tension go for a split second. You didn’t know what spell took over your body, but you put your hand on his face whispering, “Thank you for everything, Aaron.”

He looked down at your lips, and just when you thought he was going to kiss you, he stopped himself. He straightened his body and whispered, “You know if I kiss you right now, this will make things complicated. I want to kiss you so, so bad. But, I just. I can’t right now.”

For a second time, it felt like you were getting your heart broke by Aaron, even though he’s right. You and him can’t do it. It won’t look good. You knew you always had feelings for Aaron. He was your first true love. He was your only true love.

“Goodnight, Aar. Get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”

When you finally laid down in bed, plugged your phone in and looked at the clock, it was 3:15AM. You didn’t realize that Aaron probably was only going to get 3 hours of sleep if he was lucky. That made you feel bad. But, you didn’t have much time to think about it because you fell asleep.

****

When Aaron got up the next morning, he didn’t dare go for a jog. He didn’t want to leave you alone until he knew that Jake was in police custody and the judge got a warrant for a restraining order.

He decided to text Jessica to see if she was up. He wanted his little boy home. After what you were going through, he couldn’t imagine being away from his son any longer. Sending a quick text off to Jessica, he decided to start baby proofing the house a little bit. He knew Mason was nearly 6 months old, but he was starting to crawl all over.

Once Aaron finished babyproofing his home, he decided to go check on you. It was nearly 8am and Aaron remembers what it as like when Jack was Mason’s age. Jack was up bright and early every morning. Aaron just wanted you to sleep though. You needed it. Aaron wondered how many nights were you actually able to get a good nights sleep when you were married and living with Jake.

He quietly walked into your room and saw Mason playing with his toys while you were fast asleep. Mason began to smile at him and Aaron picked him up, taking a few of his toys and carried him out of the room. He shut your door quietly and took Mason into his living room.

He placed Mason on the ground and said, “Alright buddy, you’re probably hungry, and you need a diaper change. So, let’s get your bottle started and then change you.”

Aaron felt like he was in a twilight zone. Why did life lead him down this dark and twisty road when it would just lead back to you and him and some kids. Watching Mason crawl on the floor and play with some of Jack’s toys just made him think of how good of a big brother Jack would be. How good of a father Aaron would be if you and him had kids.

As Aaron changed Mason, then began to feed him, he found himself falling into a little conversation with Aaron. He didn’t want to talk to Mason about his father but he just talked about anything and everything. They talked about the weather, food Aaron was going to make for lunch and dinner, Aaron talked about Jack.

“So, Jack is my son. He’s older than you. I bet he’s going to love you. I know you’ll love him. He’s always wanted to have a little brother. He’ll show you all his comic books, action figures, his favorite toys, everything.”

Mason began to smile up at Aaron and Aaron smiled down at him. Aaron’s heart fluttered at the thought of Jack being a big brother. Aaron always knew Jack would make a great big brother, he just never thought it’d happen this way.

Aaron was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard the little pitter-patter of very familiar feet yelling, “Daddy!”

After a very excited Jack hugged his father, he finally asked the question Aaron’s been needing to talk to him about.

“Um, Daddy, who’s baby is that?”

“Jack, this is Mason. He’s my friend, Y/n’s, baby. Y/n sleeping in the guest room right now. But, I was thinking would it be okay if they stayed with us for a while?”

Jack ran off and Aaron looked at Jess.

“I knew I should have warned him first. Jess, if he continues to lash out today could you just keep him for another day until I can get Y/n and Mason set up in a safe house.”

“He won’t lash out, Aaron. He’s going to be okay. Look.”

Jack came running back into the room with a picture frame. A frame Aaron quickly recognized. It was a picture of you and him from your wedding. He had always kept it framed in his office.

“Daddy, this is Y/n, right?”

“Yeah buddy, that is. If you don’t want her to stay with us, she doesn’t have too.”

“No, she’s your best friend. She can stay with us. I’ve always wanted a little brother.”

“Jack, he’s n-”

Jess cut Aaron off by quickly saying his name and smiling. Aaron didn’t know how to tell Jack that he didn’t know how long you and Mason would be in their lives. He wish it could be forever and if it was his way, he wouldn’t let you go. But, he knew the choice was up to you and he wouldn’t force or pressure you into anything.

“Y/n’s sleeping, but I was thinking since it’s Saturday… Waffles for breakfast?”

When Jessica left, Aaron and Jack began to make waffles. It felt surreal for Aaron. This was supposed to be his life that he dreamed of when he met you. He wanted to get up with your kids, make breakfast while you were still in bed. He wanted that, yet it’s a funny way of how he got there.

****

Your body was exhausted, your face hurt. For some reason, you thought Mason broke his cycle of getting up early. You didn’t even bother to look at the clock, you wanted to check on him.

When you sat up to look in his pack-n-play, you immediately began to freak out. Mason was gone. He was there when you went to bed. How could he be missing? You began searching to make sure he didn’t climb out, but then you heard laughter coming from down the hall.

Then you heard the cutest little, “Mason! Look at my spiderman!”

You let out a sign of relief. Jack was home, Aaron must have come in and grabbed Mason from your room. Which just makes you think what a terrible mother you are. You couldn’t hear someone come into your own room?

If that was Jake, Mason could be missing, or worse.

As you made your way into the kitchen, the scene in front of you made your heart stop from how cute it was. Mason was in a smaller highchair that sat on top of the counter, Jack was showing him his spiderman, and Aaron was making waffles, smiling at both boys. You took a picture of it. If Aaron and Jack weren’t going to be in your life forever, you were going to at least make sure you had a picture of this happy memory.

“Ahem, good morning boys.”

“Good morning, how’d you sleep?”

“Are you Y/n, daddy’s best friend?”

“I am. You must be his cousin.”

“Cousin?” Jack started laughing and said, “No! I’m his son, Jack Hotchner.”

Jack stuck his hand out and you shook it. You couldn’t believe how grown up Jack looks. You met him when he was just 3 months old. You saw him again when he was 8 months old. Now he was a 6 year old little boy.

“Waffles for breakfast, Y/n! Daddy makes them so good.”

You looked over at Aaron and then you saw the time on his kitchen stove. It was nearly 9:30am. You hit Aaron’s shoulder and said, “Why didn’t you wake me when Mason got up? I’m probably the world’s worst mom. I didn’t hear him cry. I didn’t hear you come in and take him. I certainly didn’t have a motherly instinct to wake up around 7am to feed him.”

“Y/n, relax. You’re not the world’s best mom. You’re apart of the world’s best moms.Mason wasn’t crying, he was just playing. I went to get him because I wanted you to sleep. You deserved it, especially after last night. It was the least I could do.”

“To be quite honest with you. I’ve gotten the best sleep that I’ve had in a long time. Thank you.”

As you sat at the counter, Aaron handed you a plate of waffles. Jake sat next to you and Aaron stood up and began eating. He then grabbed yogurt and said, “Is Mason allergic?”

“No. But, I’ll feed him when we’re done. He’s okay right now.”

Aaron just shook his head while he grabbed a small spoon and bowl. You watched as Jack ate his waffles talking about Spiderman and the new comic book Jessica had gotten him. You began to eat while Mason tracked Aaron’s every move, smiling everytime Aaron looked at him.

It was pure bliss. You always dreamed of waffle saturdays with Aaron and your kids. It’s just a shame you had to go down the road you did to end up with it. While Aaron began to feed Mason, you chuckled as Mason kept trying to grab the spoon every time.

While you didn’t know how much longer this would be your reality, you just wanted to live in a good moment for as long as you can before all hell broke loose later on in the week.

You decided that since Aaron made breakfast, it was only right and fair that you cleaned up. As you thanked him for breakfast and began to clean up, he sat on the stool that you were once seated at and was talking to both Jack and Mason.

Mason was still eating his yogurt and trying to talk while Aaron would smile and talk back to him. There was hope. Hope that you and Mason would be okay. Hope that after a while, you and Mason would find someone who would love you and take care of you, start a new family with the one you began to create. Hope to find someone who will love you even after everything you went through, all the trauma you have.

That’s what you were holding out on. You were going to hold out for as long as you needed to to make sure you were going to be alright. When you did the dishes and looked around to put them back, you chuckled to yourself. Aaron had his kitchen set up the same exact way it was set up when you were together, all those years ago.

“I see things don’t change.”

“Well, you know, a habit. The way I had the kitchen set up was conducive to the environment.”

You rolled your eyes and chuckled at him, then proceeded to grab Mason from the high chair and moved him to go crawl around on the floor. You sat on the ground, setting up a barrier that he hopefully wouldn’t go and crawl into Aaron’s office.

Jack grabbed his toys from his room and brought some out to play with Mason. It really was sweet. You never imagined this is where your life would be 10 years ago. You also didn’t imagine that Jake would beat you.

There was a knock on his door that startled you. You didn’t know if Jake was there, you didn’t know who it could be. You moved Mason more into your lap and Aaron immediately got up, telling you it’d be okay.

You went into this silent panic mode, standing up with Mason, and moving towards the hall. It was like a fight or flight situation, although you knew Aaron would protect you with everything he had.

“She’s in here. Come on. Y/n, it’s Dave and JJ. They’re alone. It’s okay.”

You felt your heartbeat getting slower as you calmed yourself down. Maybe it wasn’t you calming yourself down, but it was Aaron’s voice, telling you it was okay. Everything that seemed to clam you down these days revolved around Aaron. You were deeply grateful for that.

“Hey Y/n. We just wanted to come by to talk to you and update you with where we are with everything.”

You walked back over to the kitchen and you heard Aaron telling Jack to go to his room to clean up for a little bit. You knew Aaron was doing that to get Jack away from your situation. You were grateful for that. You didn’t want Jack to hear what was going on.

Aaron sat next to you on the couch. He wanted to be there with you so you didn’t have to go through those frightful, traumatic moments alone again. You felt him place a hand on your back and you melted into him a little more.

“I know you already know this, Y/n, but with Jake’s father being as successful as an attorney he is, this is going to be hard.”

Aaron’s hand left your back. The one thing that was keeping you grounded was one that made you start to get nervous again. You started bouncing your leg up and down. You hugged Mason just a little bit tighter.

“Dave, you can’t say that. To hell with Jake’s father. We’ve taken down worse. We’ve taken down the chief of police’s sons, we’ve taken down internal affairs members. You can’t come in here and say that it’s going to be hard.”

“Aaron, I understand that, but I just want you two to be aware of what could happen.”

You decided to speak up. This was your life. Jake was technically still your husband. You and him did share a son together. He was always going to be apart of your life. You gave Jake 10 years of your life, when you should have been giving those 10 years to Aaron.

“I know it’ll be hard, but can we win. Can I get full custody of my son? I’ve given you all proof. I had the pictures and the exam at the hospital. I did all that, now please. I just want Mason to be safe. I know he’ll be safe with me. Please tell me I can win custody. If he doesn’t go to jail for what he did to me, fine, but I don’t know if I can leave him with his own son.”

“The evidence we have is enough that we’ve filed a restraining order. His father has been notified. The papers are going to be sent to him today, he’ll be served in this afternoon. You have the best working for you. But I want you to know that the system could be rigged when it comes to this. His father is the county’s D.A.”

You knew it was going to be a long battle. You knew that the minute Jake introduced you to his father. He introduced him as “the city’s most successful district attorney”. He was right. 10 years, you heard how your father-in-law very rarely lost a case. You were praying that this was one he lost. You loved your father-in-law. He was a very good grandfather to Mason, but you hated him for not asking about your relationship with Jake. You hated that even after you had just been pushed down the stairs, your father-in-law had still come over for dinner and he didn’t notice the broken picture frame that hung on the wall, or the way you tensed up whenever Jake got close to you.

“Dave, JJ, I want to go through with this. If I don’t go through with this, I’m just another living proof that these abusive men will win. They will win by scaring their partners. From now on, Jake can say whatever he wants, but I’m not going to back down. Not when I have a son I have to raise. I went through the abuse for 10 years. The amount of times I have showed up to the police station but was too afraid to go in and file for a restraining order because I was scared he’d come after me, or kill me. He took my life over for 10 years, it’s my time to get out. That’s why I showed up at Aaron’s office. I knew that if I didn’t come to you guys yesterday, I would have never went.”

You took a deep breath. You didn’t realize you had begun crying. You didn’t realize that Mason had been moved from your arms into Aaron’s arms. You didn’t realize that Aaron’s one arm had moved around your waist tighter as he pulled you into his side.

“I went home last night thinking everything would be okay. If it weren’t for Mason being alive, I think he would have killed me. No, not think. I know he would have killed me. I want to get out of this relationship. So, please. Help me.”

You began to cry harder and Dave and JJ looked at you and Aaron with sympathetic looks. Aaron passed Mason to JJ and Aaron had pulled you into his body. This was the 2nd time you were really able to admit you needed help. 10 years of trauma. 10 years of the “unknowing” what was going to happen to you everytime Jake stepped foot inside your home. 10 years of the verbal, mental, emotional, physical abuse. 10 years, and you were wanting to put a stop to it. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that. No, you deserved so much better.

When you finally calmed down a quick minute later, you explained that JJ and Dave could ask for anything they want. They could have anything they need. You needed to be like an open book, especially if you’d be going up against Jake and your father-in-law.

Dave said, “Y/n, we do need to ask. When you married Jake, was there anytime from that point until now that you, um, had relations with-?”

Aaron was furious. From your side view, you saw Aaron’s jaw clench and his fist tightened. If Dave wasn’t his friend, he sure as hell would’ve punched him.

“Dave. I would really rethink how you’re going to finish that sentence.”

JJ then spoke up as well. “Hotch, you know if this were any other case, we have to ask. Did you two ever have an intimate relationship when you were with Jake?”

You knew you had to respond before Aaron did or else it would not be good for anyone in that room. The man was your best friend, your first love, he was very protective of you. Especially after what he had found out from yesterday and last night. You were sure he would not let you out of his sight until Jake was in prison.

“No, when Aaron and I broke off the engagement, that was the last day that we had done anything intimate. That was 12 years ago. Even for the 5 times I had seen Aaron after, all we did was lunch. Jake was so controlling that he had to time my lunches with Aaron. I hadn’t been sleeping with Aaron, I wasn’t sneaking around with him either. I wasn’t sleeping or I wasn’t sneaking around with another man. I was loyal. I still am. Even if Jake doesn’t deserve it, I vowed to him on my wedding day that I would be. I didn’t want to break my promises. But I promise you, there was nothing going on between us. If there was, trust me, Jake would have known about it. He would spy on us during lunches. He tracked my bank records, you knew he was tracking my car, had cameras inside the house. He’s not a fool. Jake has no defense against Aaron.”

JJ and Dave just nodded their head and quickly after saying a few more remarks, Aaron was walking them out the door. You took Mason from his arms and let Mason play on the floor while you yelled for Jack to come back out.

“Hey Jack, keep an eye on Mason. I need to talk to Y/n in my office. Can you handle that?”

“Yeah, I can dad! I’ll be the baby watcherer ever.”

You chuckled at hearing Jack talk like that. You knew while you and Aaron were right around the corner that Jack and Mason would be okay. You saw how Aaron had the corners of tables and everything else baby proofed and how he had covered up the outlets.

You followed behind Aaron, into his office. That man was on a mission and you’d hate to be an unsub.

“I’m sorry. They were out of line. They know better.”

“Aaron, you can’t fault them for doing their job. It’s only fair that they asked about us. I mean, I got into this because of you.”

You didn’t mean it like that. It wasn’t Aaron’s fault, you never wanted to blame him. Jake had always been so insecure of himself when he knew about Aaron. But the hurt you saw in Aaron’s eyes right now could make you throw up. You’d rather get back with Jake, get slapped around a few times, and continue to be married to him if you had the chance again to never say that, to never see him react to that.

“Aaron, that’s not what I meant. Please. You have to hear me out. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

You searched for his hand, but he pulled it back from the desk. Just moving to sit down in his office chair, leaving you standing in front of the desk.

“Aaron. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. The flaws in Jake and I’s marriage was not your fault. It’s Jake. Jake is the only one to blame for his behavior. He was the one who hit me. He’s the one who verbally abused me. He’s the one who hates me. You don’t. It’s not your fault. What really set him off is because I said I had gone to see you. I didn’t want to lie because I knew he’d track me, there’s no point in lying to him. I’m sorry I said it was because of you. It’s not your fault. I’m so grateful for you and, and for Jack. Aaron, I got the best sleep of my life last night. When I fell asleep, I knew that I didn’t have to be in a light sleep so I could hear when Jake got into bed. I didn’t have to fear that if Jake got in bed, he would force himself on me. When I was in bed, I didn’t have to fear that he would hit me if I told him to stop, to tell him “not tonight”, to tell him I was tired. I got to lay in bed and have a good night’s sleep because he wasn’t there, and I knew I was in a safe environment. I thank you for that. You saved my life, Aaron Hotchner. You did when we were in high school and you saved my life yesterday. You will always be a big part of my life. No matter where I end up in 5, 10, 15 years, I will always be grateful that you came into my life, that you were the best thing that’s ever happened to me, that you saved me not once, but twice.”

Aaron didn’t realize how much he’d be affected by your words. He was hurt, but hearing you talk about him saving you just made him more upset with himself. He should have saved you one time, that was in high school. He saved you once and you two were together until your engagement. Had that engagement never been broken off by him, you wouldn’t be in this situation. Haley could still be alive living her life with someone else. You could have been his and he wouldn’t have had to save you.

But here’s the thing, he would save you every single day, until the day he died. Whenever you needed him, he would be there for you. He was going to make up all his mistakes and flaws to you for the rest of your lives.

Aaron had stood up now, wiping your tears, then wiping his.

“I promise you, I am going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, to Mason. You and him deserve to be loved every minute of every day. When this all over, I’m going to do whatever I can to make up for the 12 years of your relationship with Jake. I promise you.”

“I know you will, Aaron. I know.”

It was one of those intimate moments that were non-sexual. You wanted to kiss him. You really did. But you didn’t know if your judgment was clouded. Yes, Aaron was your first love. Your break-up was hard, especially when his reason for the engagement to end was a cop-out, but did you still love him or were you just grateful he was helping you get out of your relationship with Jake, helping give you a better life so that you could give Mason a better life.

Deep down, you’ll always love Aaron. You always held onto a small sliver of hope that one day Jake would just get tired of you and divorce and then you’d make your way into Aaron’s life, but unfortunately, that didn’t happen the way you wanted to.

“Aaron, I really want to kiss you, but, we can’t.”

“I know. I know.”

You were proud of yourself for holding back. Proud of Aaron for understanding why. As you stood in his arms for just a bit longer, you heard him whisper, “We’re going to be okay. Everything’s going to be okay.”

In that moment you knew he was right, but farther down the road, you wanted to believe in him so, so bad.

Next Part

Tagging: @8crazy-freak8 @angelmather1 @rousethemouse @lex13cm @mrs-ssa-hotch @comfortzonequeen

#aaron hotchner angst #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x single mom!reader #aaron hotchner fanfiction #Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner fluff #criminal minds #restofmylifeseries

108 notes · View notes

bakudeku-recommendations · 5 months

Text

BKDK Hurt/Comfort Recs

NOTES: you all voted, and I have answered. Here are a few Hurt/Comfort works. I know I say this on every rec I do, but please be careful with your mental health. If you don't like the tags or if something is too much please don't read it. I am doing this by myself, and is why there will not be too many works compiled at one time.

***I have personally ordered this from the least hurt to the most hurt. I will also take more care in tags, as there are various triggers that could be throughout this. This list is not objective, but it should help you to not go past your limit.***

LEAST HURT

1. the being unknown by twinstarsies

Tags: secret relationship, top Bakugou/bottom Midoriya, a/b/o, smut, Alternate Universe - Regency, elopement

Summary: Izuku comes to realize that home is, truly, where the heart is.

2. It Must Have Been the Wind by battybabe

Tags: (domestic) abuse, izuku/omc, sexual abuse/rape (mentioned), smut, quirkless au

Summary: New neighbors moved in above Bakugo and something's not right

(Inspired by It Must Have Been the Wind by Alec Benjamin)

3. true friends (stab you in the front) by saturnsorbit

Tags: quirkless Izuku, bullying, bully Dekusquad, pre-relationship bkdk

Summary: Days into his first year of UA, Midoriya Izuku believes this school really is different. He's happy! He has his absolute best friend, Katsuki, with him and they're learning and training to become proper heroes together! He even made some new friends. It all falls apart two months in when his secret comes out.

4. oh, mama's boy (kissyshima)/ Mama's Boy (Dqrk_Mxxn)

Tags: abuse, verbal abuse, abusive mitsuki bakugou, child abuse, panic attacks

Summary: Bakugou has a panic attack after being called "Mama's Boy" and Izuku finds him in his room. Discover Bakugou's past and what led up to this panic attack.

5. So Much Worse Than A Phantom Limb by s_the_queen

Tags: brief major character death, abusive/controlling/mean dekusquad, class divide, panic attacks, continued arguments

Summary: There was a buzzing under his skin and a tightness in his chest. Lesser mortals would call it panic—or maybe terror. But he was the strong one. He didn't even panic when he'd been kidnapped. If he panicked now, everyone else would break. He didn't have that luxury, but he supposed that was the price of being the strongest. Only one person could handle the full weight of his fears. He could panic when Deku woke up. -or- Izuku is involved in an incident with a villain and Katsuki *goes through it*.

6. The Dragon's Consort by Mrs_Galaxy_M

Tags: abuse, domestic abuse, child abuse, a/b/o, hurt no comfort, they legit hate eachother, twins Uruaraka and Izuku, Omega izuku, sick izuku, dragon hybrid Bakugou, soulmates

Summary: Everyone believed ochako and katsuki were soulmates, the reincarnation of the first-ever soulmates who sadly never ended together Izuku, her twin, was bullied and starved since he just wasn't considered as important as ochako Yet in their wedding. Katsuki could only feel izuku through a just formed bond

7. Love Me (Not) by Scaevus

Tags: suicidal ideation, attempted suicide, abuse, child abuse, child neglect, alcohol abuse, overdose (attempt), self-harm, depression, dissociation, torture

Summary: Bakugou Katsuki believes two things with his entire being. One-he's destined to be a villain. Two-he should definitely kill himself before that happens. Or, Katsuki show up to the dorms drunk when he's supposed to be spending the weekend home. Suddenly, his classmates are starting to notice little things that don't add up about their explosive friend. And Izuku is oddly closer to his childhood friend than they thought.

MOST HURT

#fanfic #bkdk #fanfiction #ao3 #ao3 link #ao3fic #fanfic recommendation #mha bkdk #bakudeku #mha #hurt/comfort #sensitive topic #tw abuse #tw sui ideation

19 notes · View notes

eliamartel · 1 year

Note

So, I'm way more critical of GRRM than, like, 90 percent of the fandom so I have a very low opinion of how he will handle R/L. I 100 percent think that when he conceived of the story back in the 90s he meant for R/L to be an unambiguous, consensual love story. He once called R 'lovestruck' and a fool in love in a few interviews which lmao. I am not saying this as a R/L shipper, I actually intensely despise both characters. But this is the same man that called the Dani/Drogo wedding night a 'seduction' and included a J*n/Ar*a romance in his original outline. Keep in mind, J*n knew Ar*a while she was literally IN UTERO but people somehow think GRRM will frame R/L as some parable on the dangers of an older man grooming a young girl lol. Do I think that now, in the post-me too era where everyone is super cognizant of issues like age gaps and grooming, etc. he realizes that he needs to 'fix' that relationship? Yes. A big reason I think it's taking him so long to finish the books and why he never will is because a lot of his ideas back in the 90s are now deeply unpalatable to modern audiences. That's kinda what happens when you procrastinate for three decades on finishing a series - social mores change dramatically and now you have to course correct. I just don't think he has the effort, care, or energy to critically reappraise his framing of R and R/L as a couple. I do think prophecy played a part in R's actions, but GRRM also meant for R/L to be in love. Now, do i hope GRRM does not frame it this? Yes. But I have almost zero faith in him lol.

Hi anon, I think you're saying that since Grrm has a warped view of consent because he called Dany/Drogo's first night as seduction (when it's clear it was rape), you think he might not view R/L as problematic and might depict them as a love story because he has also called Rhaegar a love-struck prince before, and paired Jon with Arya in the original outline... I don't agree. Grrm is wrong for what he said about Dany and Drogo, but in the text, though Dany views Drogo positively, their relationship is still depicted as abusive.

I'm just basing my thoughts on what we know from the main series here because I have no idea what Grrm initially intended for them in the 90s.

If Grrm intended this relationship to be consensual and positive, I don't think he would characterise Rhaegar as someone obsessed with siring three children, nor would he give Rhaegar a wife who he reproductively abused for children before he left for Lyanna.

Remember, Rhaegar and Aerys' main purpose in the story is to incite events that bring the end of House Targaryen in Westeros; their actions and their crimes are supposed to spark the rebellion that destroys their dynasty. That's why GRRM has characterised Rhaegar as prophecy mad: he was obsessed with siring three children; he impregnated his chronically ill wife in quick succession and humiliated her in front of the nobles from across the kingdoms at Harrenhal; he knew something had to be done to remove his father from power but chose to make everything worse by disappearing with a Lord Paramount's daughter. He left his family and the realm at the mercy of his mad father for months before reappearing and promptly dying in his first battle.

I don't see Grrm positively depicting such an irresponsible character or giving him any narrative triumph or hero-like treatment just because he contributed sperm that created one of the protagonists. I think GRRM intends for Rhaegar to be glorified through the eyes of some (very flawed) characters, and then later dismantle his romanticised image by exposing his true nature. Alongside Rhaegar's romanticization, Grrm has also written many instances that hint that Rhaegar was not as great a man as his admirers say.

In ASOS, Jorah Mormont tells Dany that "there was no higher honour than to receive your knighthood from the Prince of Dragonstone." To readers, it looks like Rhaegar was an incredibly noble and admirable person; however, that line is a callback to AGOT (Sansa II), where we read that Rhaegar had knighted Gregor Clegane, the man who brutally murdered his wife and children. This shows GRRM didn’t intend to depict Rhaegar as a good man, even when he published AGOT in 1996.

Since Rhaegar's faults are not yet as emphasised in the text compared to his romanticised image, readers may not notice or give importance to them. However, Grrm is not the type of writer to continue glorifying a character whose actions brought so much pain and suffering to others, so I'm certain he will negatively depict Rhaegar in the future.

My take on R/L is this. I think Grrm is only making R/L seem like a love story when what actually happened is much darker. I really can't see how he could have intended for R/L to be unambiguously consensual once Rhaegar is implied to desperately want 3 children and it's implied that he might have raped Elia for conceiving Aegon because he impregnated her when she was on bed rest recovering from the birth of their first child, Rhaenys. It was only after Elia was said to be too weak to give birth to another child that he took Lyanna. He hid Lyanna in a secret tower in the middle of nowhere, and she died giving birth with not even a maester to assist her. It sounds like Rhaegar cared more about her staying hidden and giving birth in secret than about her health.

Also, when Grrm glorifies Rhaegar through the eyes of characters like Jorah, Barristan, Cersei, Kevan Lannister, and Jon Connington, he uses that character's (and the reader's) prejudice regarding misogyny, racism, and ableism to depict Elia. Many of them call Elia unworthy and blame her for Rhaegar cheating on her and for the war. Elia is also sidelined without a voice. I'm pretty sure Grrm characterises Elia like this for now in order to build Rhaegar's image and Rhaelya's 'love'. If Elia was given more space in the backstory, readers would sympathise more with her than with the mirage of noble Rhaegar and his beautiful romance with Lyanna that birthed our hero Jon Snow.

And notice how none of Rhaegar's admirers care about Lyanna either! Some of them romanticise Rhaegar's love for her, but they don't care that he was said to have abducted her and she later died because of it. It's interesting that Rhaegar is romanticised through characters who don't sympathise with the women he harmed. It's only a bunch of randos who personally never knew Rhaegar that are shown to admire him (Dany, too, is only idealising an image of Rhaegar that Viserys and Barristan fed her). I'm certain that in the next book, GRRM will condemn Rhaegar and dismantle his legacy.

#asks #anti rhaegar targaryen #anti rhaelya #thanks for your message ❤️. i thought a lot about this ask #thats why my response is so late #cw rape #lyanna stark #elia martell #asoiaf #rhaegar #lyanna #elia

44 notes · View notes

petpluto · 1 year

Note

shocked and appalled and intrigued and delighted to hear that you hate my number one good time gal faith lehane. i have so many questions!!! actually it's more like one question and it's just "???????????"

I would love to know why she doesn't work for you as a character (if you ever want to go into it, but no pressure!)

ALWAYS ASK FOR MY BUFFY THOUGHTS! I am legitimately thrilled to go into everything about this show.

And I want it to be clear - I think she’s an exceptionally well written character and Eliza Dushku was so good in the role. She just doesn’t work *for me*.

I’m going to start in the middle - the moment when Faith confronts Buffy at Sunnydale U and says, “You gutted me, Blondie”, it embodies the type of bully I hate more than any other. The type who will, in this case, try desperately to kill you and end the world while also trying to kill your friends and boyfriend, and then see themselves as the victim and you as the aggressor if you fight back. The kind of bully who will use any aggression against them - in this case, getting stabbed in the gut after months of violence directed toward the scoobs - to be even more violent.

Faith is a victim, 💯, of her mother, of probably any number of people before she became a slayer; and I don’t want to discount that. I have a lot of sympathy for Faith, and think she was not cared for in the way she deserved. The Watcher’s Council failed her, the adults who knew her in Sunnydale failed her, and the system continually failed her. Joyce was willing to sacrifice her for Buffy to have a normal life, and no one seemed perturbed she was living in a crappy motel - let alone questioning where she was getting money for things like food and clothes and rent. And I understand that breeding resentment and creating a nihilistic person. I understand abuse begets abuse, and that Faith lashes out at Buffy because she sees this girl getting everything - having *everything* - that Faith feels like she deserves. That Faith *actually* does deserve. Faith deserves a warm home and parents who care and lunches and dinners. She deserves a watcher who has her back. She deserves all of these things.

But when she goes after Buffy, when she talks to Buffy about how everything Buffy has should be hers, when she steals Buffy’s body (which I see as a metaphorical rape) and then sleeps with Riley in Buffy’s body (which I see as actual rapes of both Buffy and Riley), when she makes Buffy the subject and target of her ire, I hate it and I hate her. When she sexually assaults Xander as she works on killing him, I hate it and I hate her. When she rages at Buffy for stealing her life when she was trying to end the world, I hate it and I hate her. Because these are good people; these are also kids; and these people aren’t and shouldn’t be her targets.

And I hate it when she comes back in season 7, because the show doesn’t allow her the space to reintegrate into the gang, after everything. It’s partially the way her arc resolves in season 1 of Angel, where it and Faith coming to terms with what she did is separate from the majority of her violence (torture of Wesley notwithstanding). If she had remained on Angel the Series, I think I could have grown to tolerate her, because that show and those characters interacted with her during the season 1 arc and the season 4 arc. But the story the writers were telling on BtVS necessitates Faith’s presence, because it affects her as well. She deserved to be part of the discussion and the resolution about the slayer line. But the writers also had her talk about stealing Buffy’s body like it was ultimately fine, and had the line, “There's only supposed to be one. Maybe that's why you and I can never get along. We're not supposed to exist together.” Which, for me, sums up the thing I dislike most about Faith, even post-turn toward the good side arc. She is myopic. It’s not that they couldn’t get along - it’s that she wouldn’t let them get along. There isn’t a force in the Buffyverse that gets in Faith’s way when it comes to her relationship with Buffy other than Faith herself. And I hate that I think that line is supposed to be funny, because it just drags Faith back toward still being that bully who can’t handle it when someone fights back. And I want her to work beyond that, and be someone who can see and empathize with other people’s experiences. And, for me, we don’t get there.

I used to describe Faith as a Tennessee Williams character, and I hate Tennessee Williams. And I think that’s still true. I don’t enjoy nihilism. I think there’s value to Faith in the story they told. I think there’s a reason she’s here. I just don’t enjoy the journey, or the resolution.

#faith lehane #anti faith lehane #buffy the vampire slayer #shiverandqueeef #ask me anything I will rant and rant and rant #this is a bit all over the place #I meant to answer it from my computer but I’m typing it up at work which means it’s all from my phoooooone

35 notes · View notes

crazy-stupid-potato · 9 months

Text

This is mad long, bare with, or don't lmao

TW's for: References to depression, r*pe, a*use towards women, and a bunch of other women rights related issues. I don't go in depth, but they are very much there. Be careful. Look after your mental health, please. Also a smidgen of spoilers for the Barbie movie at the end.

So, this whole tangent began with the Barbie movie. I've wrote all my thoughts down in a notebook, that's how I know what I'm going to type - vaguely. This will seem insane to have come from the Barbie movie, but I think it will hopefully be coherent. (Not like anyone will read this, lol. I am NOT anywhere near popular enough for this to even get a comment but here we go)

Right. A bit of context to my life. Since I was about 14, I have always felt that I am some sort of trans. For a while I thought I was non-binary, then I thought I was gender-fluid, then (a recent development) I thought I was a guy. So, you can imagine the absolute loop I have been thrown through when I realised that what I might have been feeling is internalised, borderline, misogyny.

Wild right? Let me explain.

Since I was 11, I have repeatedly heard the horrors of being female in this world. The rape/murders that happen on a daily basis. The horrors towards women in the past. The continued disregard for female autonomy. The abuse faced at the hands of people who are supposed to protect us. It's all horrific. Not only this, but I have seen, heard, learnt, about the way society completely destroys women. The lack of acknowledgement for the pain of females', the constant dismissal of mental illnesses, physical illnesses and disabilities (this also happens with males, too, I am aware, especially in the mental health department, but this section of this post is about people with the female anatomy.) The blatant disregard towards women who report abusive partners or stalkers is disgusting. (And that is just in 1st World countries where human rights are supposed to be the best. The horrors that happen in other countries are worse, but I am writing about what I know. I cannot say anything about other countries other than I know that there are some truly atrocious things happening to women in a lot of them because I am not educated on those situations. But believe me, I see it.) I see people AFAB lament the horrors of having the female anatomy. The wish to not have periods, or a uterus at all. The constant pressure put on women to look a certain way all the time. To not be too thin or too fat, not have too much hair but have enough that it doesn't look like you're trying too hard, etc. Honestly, the Gloria speech in Barbie is the best one I have ever heard about what it's like to be a woman. I see people expressing disgust at pregnancies, how they never wish to have one because it'll make them look ugly, or because of the complications that come with it. I have seen it, and do see it, all. For the past 7 years I have seen it all.

Can you imagine how much that has f-ed me up? I'm sure you can, because I'm sure it's also true for a lot of you.

All of this has made me hate the idea of being a woman.

When I was in my early years of high school (I'm in the UK and we start high school at 11 and finish at 16) I always said how I would "love to be a boy" because I always saw it as easier. I hated being a girl because everything was so shit. And that carried on into my later years of high school.

As I was introduced to the wonderful different gender identities that exist, I began reading and hearing stories of how trans/non-binary/gender-fluid, etc, people felt before they realised they were what they are. And I thought, "oh, damn. That me." So I began experimenting with labels. But even whilst I did that, whilst I played around with pronouns, names, hairstyles, clothing, I always felt this deep want to wear pretty dresses and have long hair. But I rejected those wants because I was "trans/non-binary/gender-fluid now and if I want those things then I can't be any of those." Which, yes, I know, is very binary of me. I understand that anyone can wear pretty dresses and skirts and have ling, flowy hair that they place sparkly pins in. I know. But you have to understand how damn difficult it is to ignore the stuff you have been taught all your life. I wanted to be called she/her but at the same time rejected those feelings because the thought of being a woman made me sick.

But then I watched the Barbie movie.

Now, I don't remember my childhood much. I don't know if it was what you would call "traditional girlhood." But I know it was good. And I know many AFAB have experienced horrendous childhoods, which hurts me to think about every time. But when I saw the ending of the Barbie movie. When the videos of those girls and women were playing. I felt something in me. I'm sure you've all heard different renditions of how the montage made women feel, and a lot of them is how I would describe how I felt. So, I won't get into it. But just know I felt a shift in me.

As well as that montage, other things in the movie got to me. The inherent femininity of it, for one. I know from discussions with other people, and from seeing many videos/blogs online, that what I'm going to mention is a common experience for a lot of AFAB. I hated the colour pink. Despised it. I only very very recently, before the Barbie movie, began admitting that the colour wasn't so bad. But the Barbie movie made me think that, omg, I might actually love the colour. Alongside the colour pink, I loved the outfits of the Barbies'. They were so freeing to see. As I wrote previously, I wanted to wear pretty skirts and dresses and have pretty hairstyles, but always refused to acknowledge that. Seeing the Barbies' in their overtly feminine clothing (again, I know I'm leaning into gender binary but please give me some slack. It's hard to write when you're not a novelist) made me feel giddy. I saw them and was like "pretty pretty pretty" and not just because all the women were beautiful lmao. It lit up a spark of joy in me seeing them dress in those clothes. That's how I can best describe my feelings. I just suddenly felt that I could wear those things. Weird, huh?

Another thing in the movie is the portrayal of happy older women.

This again links with the video montage, but also links with the old lady at the beginning of the movie saying she knows she's beautiful, with Ruth Handler being so gentle with Stereotypical Barbie and not ridiculing her for being stupid or naive. It also links with Gloria. I freaking loved Gloria. All of these portrayals made me so happy because it gave me a sudden sense of hope that I will be okay one day.

As someone with severe depression and probably autism/ADHD, who doesn't remember not being depressed, that really spoke to me. These women were happy. They were okay with themselves. No, the LOVED themselves. It was beautiful.

This movie healed me, just a bit, and let me make the first real steps to healing fully. I'm still not 100% sure about my gender identity, but tbh I don't quite care. I'm starting to wear makeup often, starting to take care of my body better. I also bought a cute little Stitch dress lmao, and a white, frilly tank-top with purple flowers on it. I'm embracing my feminine side and I've never felt more free.

It's a wonderful feeling. I'm surprised myself that this all came from a Barbie movie. But, at the same time, I think I was beginning to realise this about myself before the movie. Having finished college and not needing to worry about Uni as I'm not going has given me the freedom to actually look at myself, internally, and ask "what do I feel?" Again, linking back to the Barbie movie when Ruth says, "Take my hands...Now, feel." And I have done. I've asked what my brain needs, and it's full of pretty dresses and pretty hairstyles and warmth and a want to live again.

I'm aware that this may seem silly to a lot of people. Maybe even childish. But I don't care. And that's a lot for an 18 year old to say, because many people my age, and older, do care. A lot.

This has just been an introspection, but I chose to share it because maybe it will help other people.

(Also, heavy disclaimer if you got this far. I don't know what terms are still used now, or how they're used. And writing about girl/womanhood and femininity whilst also trying to be inclusive to those who have the female anatomy but don't identify as a woman, and those who don't have the female anatomy but identify as women is very difficult. So, I deeply apologise if I used the term AFAB wrong, or if it is no longer an accepted term. Also, if anything else in this post is wrong/offensive or incorrect, again I'm sorry. Please let me know what is wrong and how to fix it and I will do my best to edit this post with the updated terminology/fixes.)

#this was a doozy #drink some water #stretch #this took me an hour to write #barbie #the barbie movie #barbie 2023 #barbie the movie #barbie movie #barbie spoilers #self introspection #introspection #women #beautiful women #love life again #womens rights #speak up

17 notes · View notes

tabbyphobos · 1 month

Text

So I started A Court of Thorns and Roses the other day, and actually made some progress before bed last night (Stardew Valley 1.6 is out, I dunno what you want from me). I am 90 pages in and I have something to tell fans of this series.

Acotar is Strictly Worse Black Jewels series.

I read Throne of Glass years ago and in the back it had an interview with Maas. One of the questions was about her favorite authors and she mentioned Anne Bishop. I could see some of the inspirations she took from it: the salt mines being a prison, a badass assassin girl, stuff like that.

But ho-lee shit.

Lucien is, so far, Lucivar--he even uses the phrase "old son." I dunno who Tamlin is supposed to be, but the Fae are clearly the Blood. High Fae are likely Warlord Princes and Queens. Having different fae that are different species is LITERALLY the Kindred. I'm just waiting to see where Kaelas and Ladvarian are. And Andras the wolf? It's that Arcerian cat coat Karla sees someone wearing, and finds herself horrified to find that that cat was a witch and they slaughtered her for her skin.

"But Tabby," you ask, "why do you say strictly worse?"

I Capital H HATE keeping things from the reader by not telling the main character. I get it; Feyre is our conduit into this new world she's in. It's a writing technique as old as time. But nobody tells her anything, so we're just frustrated waiting for the story to start.

Black Jewels gives us a prologue that introduces the main plot and a character we will never have the pleasure of reading from the perspective of again, and why. After that, the book assumes you are in the world and doesn't hold back. It shows Lucivar and Daemon in their slave conditions. It shows Saetan growing tired of his vigil waiting for Witch. And it doesn't wait; Lucivar meets Jaenelle in the first chapter, first scene. And his last line in that scene? "Witch now walked the realms." It's the plot in action.

A Court of Thorns and Roses keeps threatening violence. So far these have been so empty I don't believe them. Black Jewels shows the torture the slaves undergo, and the responses Lucivar and Daemon inflict on their captors. Daemon is not called the Sadist for no reason. In Heir, Jaenelle literally splatters a man around the room. And the Kindred aren't safe either; the end of Heir shows how a unicorn kills a man, and it is pretty fucked up.

So why is Acotar popular and Black Jewels is not? So far, it looks like it's because Acotar doesn't come with the triggering content Black Jewels does.

Black Jewels has genital mutilation, pedophilia, child abuse, sexual slavery, rape, literal actual gaslighting, animal cruelty, and probably more but it's been a few years since I read this, my favorite series.

Again, I am 90 pages into A Court of Thorns and Roses, so I may be wrong. Maybe it gets better. Maybe they stop hiding information from the main character for no damn reason. Maybe they do stop talking about ripping someone into ribbons and actually do the deed.

But Acotar fans, I am BEGGING you. Give Black Jewels a try. A major criticism is that it's very gendered, and you know what? They're right. But you will be so surprised at the similarities, it will be as if Maas wrote another 11-12 books in the Acotar series.

#acotar #black jewels series #tabby talks about books #dark fantasy #a court of thorns and roses #daughter of the blood #heir to the shadows

3 notes · View notes

romana-after-dark · 7 months

Text

“Blessed be the fruit”

“May the lord open”

The Handmaids Tale AU

Commander!Joel Miller x Darkish!Handmaid!Reader

Summary: A few decades into Gilead’s conception, you head into your first posting as a handmaid after an affair with a guardian landed you in trouble. Determined to keep your head low in order to keep your son safe, you take on the moniker of OfJoel. Commander Miller has very little to do with you and mrs. Miller regards you with disgust, however you find solace in an unlikely friendship with Commander Miller’s daughter from a handmaid 14 years ago, Ellie who just got done with wives school. You and your friend, Ofthomas start teacher her and her friend Reilly under her mothers nose. Slowly, Commander Miller begins spending time with you and you begin to learn more about the man he was before and an affair begins outside the confines of the ceremony. Although initially you go along with it out if survival, you find yourself falling for the version of Joel you saw in these late night rendezvous.

Which Joel is really him, and how will he react when his own daughters secrets are revealed?

Content and Warnings: DARK JOEL! DUB CON!

Although no violent rape happens like in TWW, reader is under systemic misogyny and a society of ritualized sex abuse. Everything other than the violent rape scenes, everything that happen in either The Handmaids Tale book or show are liable to happen here including but not limited to discussion of rape, child abuse, child marriage, ritualized sexual abuse, sexual abuse in general, acts of violence, major character deaths, mentions of miscarriage but never shown and never pregnancies we know of. Big ole homophobia warning, specifically in regards to lesbophobia. As for Joel, PIV sex, breeding kink, degrading (slut, whore etc but thing like Raider!joel) forced breeding and breeding kink, power dynamics, Joel is not the good guy but he’s also not the worst, slightly rough sex but not violent. Cucking, reader cucks joel's wife, is dark, participates in non con.

Warnings are liable to be added as the story goes but I’ll always update. As always if I miss something please tell me, but i extensively label my warnings and in the end media consumption is your own choice. If you would like to know if this is a happy ending or not you can message me and I’ll tell you that way I don’t spoil for everyone but you can decide if this is for you.

Immersability: Reader has long hair, can conceive children theoretically. At one point, she has to pose as Ellie's mother and I know this can be loaded in terms of skin tone. I am no genetics expert but I know dark skinned parents can have white passing children, like Lional Richie and Nicle Richie. It's up to you to see if this is going to take you out of the story or not.

Undecided amount of chapters

Chapter 1: You meet your first commander, his family, and your new walking partner

Chapter 2: Your first ceremony, and you see something you aren’t supposed to.

Chapter 3: Everything is not as it seems in either Miller household.

Chapter 4: it’s smut.

Flashback Bonus Chapter: Insight into Tommy, Angela, and Joel's relationship.

Chapter 5: Joel takes you somewhere special. Tommy is involved.

Bonus Chapter: Tommy and Angela

Chapter 6: Gina gets what’s coming.

Chapter 7: Tommy, Joel, OfJoel and Angela explore

If you are interested, please comment or say so in a Reblog! Rebloging a masterlist is super helpful to get a series off the ground well!

Thank you so much for your support!

276 notes · View notes

lovely-oh-so-lovelyyui · 2 years

Note

I wanted to ask you one question?

Why do you focus so much on the point that the boys are all toxic and ignore the lateral side of them?

I agree with you, they insulted the heroine a lot, raped her and subjected her to violence, and they all have psychological trauma since childhood and psychological complexes as a result of parental neglect or bad environment.

But we cannot say that they are unable to love properly to understand love

Many times they have taken care of Biwi and her health and treated her kindly and from them and make an effort to make her happy, worry about her and defend her. All these actions indicate that they can change for the better.

You can't convince me that they won't treat Yui nicely and take care of her with some game details and take care of her happiness

So after Yue I taught them the meaning of love and brought them out of the darkness they were in and they knew true love Is it impossible for them to become good with their wife and children Yes it is possible that they have hurt their wife before marriage and harassed her but after I don't think after they fell in love it will be the same thing

You say the abuser can never change, why not? Everyone has chances to change. They are all psychopaths and emotionally drained. They may need someone like Yue who can tolerate them, teach them love, guide them in the right path, and then they will automatically change.

To clarify:I noticed that in many of your posts you describe children as very toxic, so I wanted to discuss with you and understand your point of view. I have no intention of attacking or criticizing. We are all free and we all have different opinions, but I wanted to understand your point of view more,

Hi angel, sorry this took a long time. I've been busy for a bit!

Whilst I have expected this question, it was certainly not like this. Whilst a recent trend of my posts seems very bitter, on my master list I have plenty of softer content for the boys. I suppose this is about the father headcanons, it is honestly just how I perceive them.

Whilst their “emotional growth” is often a large part of many of the routes, I simply don't believe they have yet developed and gained the growth for the patience and care to raise a child.

Also, another thing I cannot agree with is that their complexes are entirely stemmed from their childhood, whilst I do empathise with what they were put through as children it shouldn't be used to excuse their actions. As one of my mutuals has stated before, what they were put through can explain many of their actions and their subconscious reactions to things but should never be used to excuse and let their actions slide past.

Under no circumstance, am I saying this as an ambassador for all children who have undergone trauma as children, I am not qualified for that but I really am just stating observations from their characteristics.

I also think they are capable of unlearning their twisted form of love from their parents and actual affection, which is precisely why I hold them accountable for their actions. If they do not truly regret what they have done or lack the ability to admit they have done some seriously messed up things they still have not properly matured enough for a relationship.

This is why I agree to disagree with your point, yes yui comes along and teaches them how to “love” someone. But my issue is that if they are becoming dependent on this one person to become better, it's not self-development that won't last.

The biggest proof of this is whilst there are many great routes where they develop there are still some horrific endings for yui, I personally do not believe it is just to monopolise one person and control everything they do and after dealing with all their dehumanising behaviour being rewarded with affection. No matter how much their relationship develops, they originate their relationship between victim and abuser.

And I agree they need someone to help but that person should never be your significant other. All the qualities you've stated for them to improve on are things they should work on with a therapist or psychologist, not a vulnerable 16-year-old girl who barely knows anything about the world.

I also under no circumstances say they cannot change, everyone can change it just. Does it change if after centuries of no remorse to any of their previous victims they tell yui the only person they will prey on is her? Is that fair to her? If she ever wants to leave would they let her? If their attitude towards one person changes, will it change towards all humans? The boys have developed their intellect over the years of living, they have stated they are aware they’re playing with these girls, and that they enjoy torturing them.

Can their actions solely be blamed on how they were raised?

Now I don't quite understand what you mean by I've said children were toxic but yeah, those are my thoughts on the matter.

#dl #diabolik lovers #diahell #yui komori #reiji sakamaki #ayato sakamaki #shu sakamaki #diabolik lovers headcanon #asks #kallisto mumbles #psych stuff

56 notes · View notes

official-megumin · 1 year

Note

I hope I'm not overstepping a boundary but I just want you to know that your needs are important too.

I'm also trans and I feel like I often have to hide the fact that not everything is sunshine and roses once you come out and start transitioning. I try my best to remember the positive but damn it can be hard to keep your spirits up. I'm sorry it has cost you so much.

I'm in a rough spot myself and have been for a long time, but I keep hoping for something better and I hope you can keep that hope alive too even though it can be very hard or feel impossible.

You are not just what you give to others. Your needs matter. You are important.

frankly not much about being trans is great.

I don't say this to try to discourage transitioning either, because it is very much the only good option.

The only options we have as trans people is to live a life in the closet denying ourselves and slowly withering away without really living a single day. Or to transition, and whilst to me, and I would assume many other trans people. It's still not even close to enough to what I really want. It's still the best I have, it's the only way I can escape being a man in any way.

And whilst it's cost me everything, I suppose I still am alive.

I'm about 3 years into my transition, I started passing after less than 2 months on just t-blockers. No one really questions my appearance or voice anymore. Really I should be happy for what I have. But everything still just feels hollow. I don't really experience gender euphoria, still just dysphoria. Dysphoria from knowing that regardless of what I do, I will never really truly be female.

I suppose my history of abuse from my father, the rape. All because I was trans helped. It does just kinda cement in my mind that I was just never meant to be happy. And every time I lose it all again, it just makes me wonder more and more if I should just settle for a chaser who really only sees me as a fetish and nothing else. Because it seems like no else out there really wants anything to do with me. But even here I feel like I look too grotesque to be good enough.

Sigh, it just never really ends

#you didn't overstep any boundaries #I appreciate your attempt #but I just can't be cheered up right now

12 notes · View notes

internetcatholicism · 9 months

Note

hi, i'm a recent convert to Catholicism and one thing that i've been struggling with is, for example when reading a horrific story of a little girl whose introduction to life is repeated rape by family members, how do you manage to not commit the sin of wrath and hate? the perpetrators deserve to be ripped apart limb from limb in front of a crowd, so how are we supposed to not say / think this? sorry hope this question makes sense

Hi Anon, thanks for asking

Part of being Catholic is having a very counterintuitive perspective of suffering and evil that some have a hard time grasping. This is why I left the Church as a young adult for about three years. Thanks to God's Grace I was able to come to a better understanding when I returned.

If you really get down to it though, it's very uncomplicated and applicable, sort of like St. Therese's little way. I have given an entire speech/talk on the subject and I am also in the process of writing a book about it (shhh). So, I'm not gonna give a complete answer here but you can message me if you so desire.

In the end, we have no right to say what evil people deserve, because that is taking on God's role, not yours. Christ calls us to see Him inside everyone, even the worst of the worst. It sounds insane, but we need to show love and forgiveness to people like this. That does NOT mean you cannot be angry at all. Anger is often justified. It's where you go with the anger that matters. St. Paul says, "Be angry but do not sin."(but as you are describing it, probably a sin in this case.)

Truly it takes total abandonment to God's will and trust in the Lord that someday, somehow EVERYONE (including yourself) will be given what is just and what is deserved.

Catechism of the Catholic Church 2302 "By recalling the commandment, "You shall not kill," our Lord asked for peace of heart and denounced murderous anger and hatred as immoral.

Anger is a desire for revenge. "To desire vengeance in order to do evil to someone who should be punished is illicit," but it is praiseworthy to impose restitution "to correct vices and maintain justice." If anger reaches the point of a deliberate desire to kill or seriously wound a neighbor, it is gravely against charity; it is a mortal sin. The Lord says, "Everyone who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgment."

It took a lot of practice to be able to try and see my abusers the way Christ does. But it came. Prayer before the blessed Sacrament is crucial. Ask for the Grace to forgive. Ask for justice to be had and TRUST that it will be. There is great peace in knowing that everything is in God's hands.

Oh! Also I forgot to mention St. Maria Goretti's story. Here's a video about it. She's a perfect example of what we are discussing.

youtube

#this is a hard subject to give a short answer to #I hope this helps at least a little #ask #anon #anger #tw csa #tw rape

6 notes · View notes

soxcietyy · 2 years

Text

Dollhouse

In a world where females are not commonly born you are kidnapped and taken to the kingdom of Valgore to be sold off to whoever can afford you. The General of the knights Yuta Okkotsu who isn’t sure if he wants a wife, takes you in but you arnt going to make his life easy by submitting yourself to him.

Tw: bad language, violence, drinking, beating, woman being mistreated, abuse, murder, rape, things that may trigger people.

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

"I don't even have my shoes on yet!" You yell while watching Yuta rushing around getting his things.

"I know I know but we can't afford to be late, I booked a dress appointment around 9pm." Yuta said as he grabbed a pair of your heels from the closet. It was the black ones you always wore.

"Who told you to book it so early?" You sit on the bed.

"Well I didn't see the invitation till yesterday. Plus the earlier we go the fastest it can be adjusted to your body. I have VIP access so it will be quick." Yuta kneeled down to slip your shoes on your feet. You shake your head in disappointment but you couldn't blame him. He didn't read the invitation when he was supposed to. Quickly he grabbed your hand making you follow right behind him. Your steps echoing loudly in the house. "Yuta" you say trying to get his attention. He didn't hear you due to all the thoughts going on in his head. "Yuta!" You called out louder. Eventually you made it to the front door with him. Not wanting your husband to embarrass you, you pulled back. He looked at you confused for a second until you opened your mouth.

"Yuta darling you still need your shoes."

His eyes quickly look down to see he had no shoes of yet. He let out a fake chuckle. "I knew that" he said before leaving to put on his own shoes. You watch as he walked off before walking outside. Walking outside you watched as the guards stood outside guarding the place. They where still outside guarding since their general didn't inform them about his absence today. You walk down the path to the carriage as men try approaching you.

"Stay down boys I am with my husband today. He's just running late. What would he think of other men where to touch me?"

"And do you think we'll listen to you? Your just a fortune leech that managed to attach them selfs to the general. Why don't we go inside now?" A red headed guard said. You glare at them as they got closer.

"Maybe we can convince him to tie you down in your room or have you in the guard tower when you miss behave. Iv had enough from you this week." A blond said grabbing your arm. His big hand folding it to your back.

"Good morning general men, I see we've started off with a tough morning. To inform you the General in on his way and I would hate to see you guys fired. So I advice you letting her go."Haru said as he fixed his handkerchief. He had came into the scene out of no where.

The men looked at each other and dispersed. Giving them a small smile you continued walking forward but before you could step in carriage you heard footsteps behind you. Turning around you saw Yuta.

You approached him quickly and gave him a tight hug making him stumble back a bit shocked. "Yuta these men are being so rude to me, one grabbed me aggressively, Iv never need manhandled like this." you flutter your eyes. His pale skin quickly turned pink as he grabbed you by the shoulders. "Go into the cart, please. I’ll talk to my men" He whispered into your ear. His hand intertwined with your hair. You complied and entered slamming the door shut.

"Wow general I see your already hitting it. Cant blame ya." A man with blue hair said with a smirked. Yuta smiled at him, "glad you see the beauty I see too but sadly your fired" he said cheerfully as he looked at the the rest of the men. "Say something disrespectful and you'll also end up with no job. You will not speak to me as if we were friends. I am your general, your boss, your paychecks are because of me... Anyways I'm going to be taking my wife out so theirs no need for you guys to stay here. Take your old patrols and work. I'll see you gentlemen later." Yuta sent them off with a nod and got inside the carriage. Sitting across from you he rested his elbows on his knees and looked at you with his hands intertwined. "What was that?" You asked as the carriage started moving.

"What do you mean? I corrected them" Yuta tilts his head confused.

"You didn't tell them that the rule of me not being able to go out was lifted. Or for them to be treated kindly." You throw your hands up.

"First of all it hasn't been lifted and second they probably treat you that way because you treat them like that too." He looked at you.

The carriage began to move in a steady pace as you looked at him in his eyes. They still looked tired even after sleeping. Not looking quite fond of the situation.

"Of course you take their side, is it because I'm a woman? Your scared that they won’t see you as a man if you take my side? Why do you act like you actually care?" You say looking away from his eyes.

"I care because your my wife of course. Why wouldn't I care for the person who will bare my children."

"Of course the person who will bear your children. That's all that men see in woman. I never wanted to be your wife! The only reasons you care for me is because you paid for me. You don't truly love me. Your just pretending to look good in front of everyone. You don't even know the simplest thing about me. What's my favorite food? Color? Place to go out? Song? You know nothing." You say as tears begin to form.

"Y/n where is this suddenly come from? Are you home sick? Have a fever? Or just not feeling well?" He said pressing the back of his cold hand to your forehead.

"No I'm absolutely fine. Theirs no issue with me." You throw his had away. He looked at you sadden. His eyes dropping down. "I see... I'll call Megumi to meet with you in a bit. Since it seems I'm the issue." Yuta said getting up to stop the driver, suddenly Your back hit the back of the seat hard. You groan rubbing your head.

You both looked at each other trying to register what just happened until you heard commotion outside. He quickly pulled out his sword out with his right hand. Slowly approaching the door he opened it hopping out. You following behind curious on the situation. After closing the door Behind you, you look to see the horse laying dead in the floor with the rider. Your body freezing in the spot. "General!" You hear a raspy voice yell. To your right a old man appeared. He had white wrinkly skin, rotten teeth, long gray thin hair. He held his pocket knife at Yuta as his shaky hands fumbled in his pocket. Quickly pulling out a piece of paper.

"Give it to me!" The shaky old man said as he waved his weapon in the air. You look at Yuta who also looked shocked. He slowly looked at your direction as he dug his hand into his right pocket. Eventually taking out the bag of gold. It was a fat pouch that contained enough to buy 5 expensive Horses. He quickly threw it at the mans hands who looked at it disguised.

"I dont want this shit" he threw it on the floor. "General you know what I want now. Don’t play a fool just because your wife is here. Give me her." He said pointing at you. You looked at them bewildered. Their was no way he could of possibly done all of this to give you off. Was he offered doubled the amount he paid for? As you questioned everything He handed Yuta a paper that contained a bunch of horrible hand writing and Yutas signature.

"I know well Iv never promised anything. I said that as a joke five years ago sir. But of course I didn’t mean it. I said it because I never thought I would marry. So let’s just forget about this no?" Yuta said giving him a smile. Ripping the paper into pieces in front of him.

But the old man shook in anger. He fell to the ground and slowly started picking up the pieces. Trying to connect them together in his hands hoping to make something out of it. "I don’t care what you say anymore I’m going to have it my way." He said as he launched himself towards you. You gasp at the sudden movement closing your eyes tight. Surprisingly nothing occurred, opening your eyes you see Yuta having a firm grip on the man’s throat who begged for him to let go.

He clawed at Yutas veiny hand that started turning white due to him having such a tight grip. Your husband’s face having no reaction to what was happening. One of the best poker faces you’ve ever seen. "Yuu, you can let go of him now." You say quietly in your corner.

He flinched hearing your voice and looked at you. "Right I’m sorry you must be frightened." Yuta said walking to your direction as he dragged the man behind him by his hair. "Can you do me a favor?" He said quietly as he caressed your face with his free hand. "Close your eyes and don’t open then no matter what you hear. You can open them when I tap you okay?" He said looking at you with a stern look. You nod and cover your eyes with your hand. You could hear a bunch of punching and kicking. The groans of pain from the man. His attempts of crying for help quickly being shut. "I’m sorry! I’m sorry okay?! Please spare me. I won’t ever bother you again!" He cried. You could feel the lump in your throat as you stood their quietly. Not daring to take a peak. Soon horrific yelling could be heard. Your shaking legs make you crouch on the floor. Silence suddenly falling. Everything happened so fast it was hard to even imagine the situation.

Your hand was removed from your face and you were met with exhausted Yuta. Sweat on his forehead and blood splattered over his cheek. "You didn’t peak right?" He asked holding your hand.

You shake your head telling him the truth.

"Good girl" he said as he leaned in pressing his lips onto yours. For some odd reason you didn’t push away. You leaned into it more enjoying every second of it.

Authors note: I ended up taking it out Lmaoo. Sorry 🧍‍♀️

Tags 🏷: @hannya-exists @pinkraindropsfell @halparkebitch @mokonasenpaiposts @a10vely-yutazen

#jjk second years #jujutsu kaisen #yuta okkotsu #yuta okkotsu x reader #yuta okkotsu x you #jjk movie #jjk 0 movie #jjk x y/n #gojo saturo

110 notes · View notes