#what does this mean for the addiction metaphor??????

[your-local-lucifer]

Did Jekyll ever realise that he (in a way) caused Lanyon's death? By shocking him with his transformation so badly he couldn't eat or sleep or think of anything else? So badly he fell deadly ill? All because of him?

Did Jekyll ever realise he killed his best friend?

#crying #what does this mean for the addiction metaphor?????? #i might be wrong and i missed something in the text idk #jekyll and hyde #j&h #the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde #jekyll j&h #lanyon j&h #gothic lit #gothic literature #goth lit #textpost #lucifers gluttony #lucifers inferno

[teamatsumu]

PLS I JUST NEED SOME DOMINANT XAVIER

a/n: I GOTCHU BABY

warnings: smut, nsfw, swearing, fem!reader

Xavier is….. quiet. Playful and slightly teasing, but he usually remains withdrawn. Sometimes, it’s hard to tell what he’s thinking, so you can’t often predict what he will do next. Moments like these can catch you off guard, but not in a bad way. In fact, you welcome the display of emotion, when he goes from being quiet and endearing to…. this.

Sex with Xavier is almost always initiated by you. He is shy when it comes to intimacy, but when you initiate, he reciprocates enthusiastically. He is eager to please, and eager to make you feel good. You turn him on, so he finds pleasure in giving back to you, and that means making you cum as many times on his cock as physically possible for you.

With how giving yet teasing he is, it’s rare to see Xavier lose his composure, especially in bed. But sometimes, like right now, your pussy squeezes around him just right, and fits snug around his cock, pushing him closer to what he knows will be a mind numbing orgasm, and he can’t help but want to chase that addicting high.

You are face down on the bed, holding yourself up by your elbows, with Xavier behind you, cock sliding steadily in and out of your wet cunt. You already came twice, but your body continues to want more, the glorious feeling of reaching your end when it is Xavier getting you there. Your arms struggle to hold yourself up, trembling under you as your body begins to feel more and more like jelly.

“Harder.” You manage to gasp out, feeling your walls tighten around his heavy cock. You can feel how much you are gushing, how close you are to the next orgasm, and it makes you arch more, push yourself back on him as he continues to fuck into you.

Xavier almost growls, feeling his inhibitions ebb away with every squeeze of your wet pussy, every squelch of your juices when he sinks in balls deep, as he eyes the pornographic arch of your back. He wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you up so your back meets his chest, one hand twisting around your jaw and holding you in place. It reminds him of how often you cup and squeeze his cheeks, and somehow squeezing your jaw right back in this context is driving him wild.

His speed picks up, one arm holding you in place while the other pins your own behind your back until you can do nothing but take whatever he was giving you. He liked you this way, pliant under him, accepting everything with open arms (metaphorically). He pounds into you harder, feeling the sudden urge to immobilize you further. And he does, pushing you down again and draping his broad body over yours.

You gasp at the change in angle, feeling your senses tingle and insides turn into mush. Xavier doesn’t manhandle you a whole lot, but that’s exactly what he is doing right now. He’s catering to his own pleasure right now more than yours, and paradoxically, this is turning you on even more. You moan approvingly when you feel your orgasm approaching, and you let him know.

“Xavier, I’m gonna come again.” Your voice is high, pleading, so desperate to get there, and it makes Xavier grit his teeth and speed up, slipping into the same urge he always had. The urge to please.

Your orgasm barrelled into you with full force, making your body seize up and tremble hard as wave after wave of intense stimulation wash over every nerve fiber in your body. Your pussy near about strangled his cock and his pce stuttered, burying himself impossibly deep into your core and holding himself there, feeling his muscles tense and tremble as his cum coated your insides in long, copious spurts. It made his head spin and eyes roll, releasing a shuddering breath once he finally pulled out his rapidly softening cock from your fluttering cunt.

You felt lips trace up your bare back, soft and barely there, sending a shiver up your spine. You felt his warmth encase you, firm but lean muscle pressed to your back, wispy hands running up your sides.

Your lips ticked up in a little smile. Gentle Xavier was back.

#xavier #xavier x reader #love and deepspace #lad #lad xavier #xavier lad #xavier x you #lnd #xavier x y/n

[rockrosethistle]

TSH hot takes 🔥

-Julian was actually a dick. He isolated and groomed vulnerable students (do you think it's a coincidence that every single member of the greek class had a difficult home life?) into thinking that these very outdated concepts of love and power were good for them. He compared their dangerous behaviour to that of ancient gods. Then, rather than face the consequence of his actions and take accountability, he left when it mattered.

-Charles was an asshole, but he's not a scapegoat. You cannot blame all the problems on Charles, he was an addict as a result of his trauma. He needed help. This doesn't excuse him from his actions, but it explains them. At the beginning of the book he physically could not bring himself to hurt Camilla. He's not a "bad" person. He's a sick person.

-Bunny didn't deserve to die, but he was also probably going to condemn the group at some point. He didn't just die for no reason. (Believing that Bunny's death was truly pointless also means believing that Henry was an actual psychopath who killed his friend for shits and giggles.)

-Judy, Cloke and Sophie ended up the happiest. That is literally the moral of the book. Judy wasn't all tortured when Richard didn't want to hang out with her, she shook it off and kept living her life. That's literally the point.

-Richard was never in love with Camilla. He loved the idea of her, but didn't see her as a person. Because of this specific dynamic and the fact the Richard is narrating, we know nothing about her actual personality. Anything he says can be disputed, and a lot of it contradicts itself.

-Francis is not blameless or unproblematic, but of the group he probably had the best intentions. Most of his behaviour that can be interpreted as creepy can be chalked up to Richard's internalized homophobia (remember, everything is told from his point of view, and Francis was a gay man in the 80's) When you look objectively at what Francis did, you see that he made a pass, got rejected, then dropped it and moved on. There is (i think) one more attempt made later on in the book, and that is furthered by Richard and only interrupted when Charles shows up.

-Henry may be the metaphorical representative of death when talking about the book, but in the narrative it's important to remember he's also just a person. Otherwise everything he does seems beyond question, and he's assigned this label as just "evil." He was 21!! Literally still a kid

-There were not good or bad characters. The reason they hit so hard is because each of them are so layered. They all have good traits and bad traits, but calling one "evil" takes away their humanity and dismisses their complexity that makes them so great.

#the secret history #tsh #donna tartt #charles macaulay #camilla macaulay #henry winter #richard papen #bunny corcoran #francis abernathy #judy poovey #booklr #hot take

[ellestra]

Paul Muad'Dib Usul

Dune Part 2 had more changes to the story than Part 1. It's not just omitting stuff for the sake of time but also changing the roles of many prominent characters. On one hand I understand why it feels like changing the story and characters. I felt it too watching - especially with Jessica and Chani becoming so different.

But on the other I feel it makes final message clearer. There are so many people who mistake this for a hero's story. This is why the white saviour phrase is so often thrown around. I feel like this version of the ending makes it very clear that is in not what Paul becomes.

It makes it sadder too since we see him try to avoid this and just be part of his new home. But the weight of expectations of so many people leave very limited options - from the believers and Jessica to his old life and Gurney Halleck - they all push for what they want him to be so they can get their fight and their revenge. And none of them is interested in the cost. Just like Stilgar they see the opportunities to get what they want and ignore everything else (which really is so common in wars it's not surprising even 20 000 more years in the future nothing changes). So Paul is left with only two options - it's either swim with the current and keep some control over where it takes him or go against it and drown.

It is of course magnified by the other side doing all they can to stack the deck for themselves so it's either victory or annihilation. And trying to pull the rains out of the hands of forces controlling the universe is never not bloody.

Reverend Mother Mohiam admits here directly that Bene Gesserit didn't just want a Kwisatz Haderach. They wanted one they could control. Just like they planted religions to control the populaces of countless worlds. But this kind of manipulation is easy to get out of hand when infighting happens and in the end not even chosen one can chose how it ends.

Even knowing the truth doesn't stop it. Even knowing what will happen doesn't stop it. Avalanche of history only stops at the bottom and you can only hope not to be one buried by it. But you can still judge those who started it.

The parts under the cut are bit more spoilery (about spice and controlling the universe)

So I don't necessarily disagree with the changes. Like I understand why Alia the way she is in books wouldn't really work. And I certainly get why they cut Count Fenrig. But there is one thing I wish they did leave - the Space Guild confrontation. Because this is missing important part of the message - the person who rules the Empire isn't the Emperor but the one who controls spice. Paul taking the title is just a formality.

Spice has always been the clear metaphor for oil. Spice is what allows for space travel and without it world become stranded alone. People are literally addicted to it and its life prolonging properties. Who controls the Spice controls the universe. And the person who can destroy something controls it. And this means there is no stopping the jihad. No bombing Arrakis from space. No travel ban on Fremen from Spacing Guild.

This allows Paul to destroy the old balance of power. He controls it all but he only does it through fulfilling other people expectations of who he is. And that means he becomes figurehead of a holy war. Those who helped him win now awaiting their rewards in blood for all that was done to them.

#paul atreides #paul muad'dib #muad'dib #usul #lady jessica #jessica atreides #chani kynes #chani #gurney halleck #stilgar #bene gesserit #kwisatz haderach #reverend mother gaius helen mohiam #fremen #arrakis #dune #dune part two #dune part 2 #dune 2024

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

TTPD Track Speculation/Prediction: @wavesoutbeingtossed Edition

Against my better judgment, I’m putting down my predictions before I am proven completely wrong on April 19.

on the other hand I did correctly attribute all of the 1989 TV vault track teaser lyrics to their songs before it was released so maybe I’m just that good jk.

I’m putting everything under a cut because it’s long and mostly just shooting the shit but it’s a long weekend so what the heck!

I started writing this the night the album was announced at the Grammys in February, so obviously things may have evolved in the meantime. It will be very interesting to see just how wrong I am!

Here be speculation, musings, jokes and more! Enter at your own risk!

SOUND:

I honestly have NO CLUE. I’ve said many, many times that I would be absolutely gagged for an Americana-folk type sound like Carolina/Safe and Sound/some of her acoustic performances on tour. I don’t really expect TTPD to sound quite that stripped back, though. (Prove me wrong, Taylor!)

I am kind of feeling pop-rock-y though, à la WCS, TTDS, based on absolutely nothing but that is also a genre/sound I love that I am begging to hear more on albums.

Completely off the wall guess: Something more jazzy-big band-y, based on nothing but her styling in recent months on the red carpet that harkens back to golden age of Hollywood vibes (especially the Grammys), the inclusion of Clara Bow (renowned flapper girl) on the track list, and the way she keeps talking about being grateful fans accept her bending and switching genres over the years and support her when she does “weird” things.

FORMAT (?)

OK this is just me spitballing, but I said awhile back that I am just getting vibes that there may be, like, a story within a story with this. As in, using some fictional settings as an allegory for the story about herself. The example I used then was The Lumineers, and how they wrote their album III about three generations of a fictional family dealing with addiction, which was an allegory for the lead singer’s own family’s experience with it (without directly calling out the family member in question at the time). There were characters in the album, but many of the songs were sung from an “I”/“you” perspective. I may not be explaining myself well, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there are “fictional” stories in that they’re sung about characters (e.g. Clara Bow?), but it will be obvious to fans that she’s using the characters to speak about herself and her experiences. I’m just getting big “storytelling” energy from the hints. Which means I’m totally wrong!!!! Don’t listen to me!!! (I do think there will be some shades of this somehow, though.)

TRACK LIST SPECULATION

Fortnight: Think you are all on the money about it being the time between the start of tour and when Joever happened for good. Sort of a “two years of uncertainty coming to a head in two weeks” thing. Spending two weeks agonizing over what to do. Two weeks for your whole life to blow up. Finally being removed from the situation and grasping onto your dreams that have been on hold for years and realizing your mind’s made up because you won’t give this part of you up even if it means letting go of what you thought your future held. But another thing I’ve thought of: some common wisdom claims it takes two weeks for a new routine to become a habit, so… outside chance it’s like, two weeks go by and you’re finally used to/accepted whatever it is you’re trying to kick? Also had a thought that there could be many two-week periods that can mark your life and give pause. 

The Tortured Poets Department: No idea really lol. For some reason I feel like this is going to be a little more experimental, “laying the groundwork for the defense” type of vibe, kinda like Mastermind, or using the investigative/academic metaphor to delve into it like, Mad Woman or Vigilante Shit. (Or: it could be super petty roasting the infamous group chat lol. In all seriousness though I would doubt that because I feel like this album is very much about Her… unless said group chat was so insufferable she needs to blast it on main.)

My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys: I saw some talk on my dash about this giving renegade themes (you fire off missiles because you hate yourself but don’t you know you’re demolishing me), and I totally thought the same thing. Also those of you who pointed out the parallels to Cardigan are geniuses (when I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed you put me on and said I was your favorite). Again kinda think there might be some more metaphor in this but guessing it may be along the lines of “he’s only doing this because he knows I won’t leave” themes? It instantly gives dark and uneasy. It gives, the people you love are the ones you hurt the most. All signs point to Not Good.

(Or this is about Benji destroying his spin toys or is that just my cat that does that.)

Down Bad: Someone said (on Jaime’s blog I think*) that this is giving False God but icky and I can TOTALLY see that. (Then again I’ve always found False God sad in the sense that it’s like, “even when we fight so bad we can’t communicate we still have the sex holding us together.”) But, Taylor does like to take sayings with common meanings and twist them on their heads, so I also wouldn’t be surprised if “Down Bad,” isn’t referring to being down as in being horny for someone, but being down as in, feeling devastated/hopeless. (Or, even worse, mean both at the same time. 😵‍💫)

(*I wrote this post in February after the announcement, I don’t have a clue when any of this was said anymore sorry)

So Long, London: like a lot of people, I feel like this is her goodbye to the life they had and more importantly/poignantly, the dreams she had of their future. (I don’t know but, “remember looking at this room we loved cause of the light, now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time” just feels like it’d be part of this story.) So because I’ve said that, watch it be an excoriation of London Boy lol. (You know I’m mad at a London Boy / who just really won’t leave Camden / Market in the afternoon / he hasn’t seen my American smile / in two months cause he won’t come to see me / when I have a show to do…) Feel like it’s going to gut us. BUT, also wonder if this is her “I’m getting the fuck out of dodge ROCK FLAG AND EAGLE” anthem haha. (Or: she ran away to London to escape the Bad Stuff but then got stuck in another kind of Bad Stuff living there for so long…)

But Daddy I Love Him: Pretty obviously the Little Mermaid reference. Very curious if the actual quote is in the song, or if it’s just named that to set the scene but the song instead is an expounding on the theme of giving up her voice for the sake of the relationship like Ariel. Also wonder if this is an overtly diaristic song or if she is going to use characters/figures/fiction to expand on the theme subtly, a little like Maisie Peters’ History of Man or Florence & The Machine’s Cassandra or even more pointedly like her own Last Great American Dynasty or The Lucky One. I do assume the overarching theme is going to be the push-pull between keeping her love and giving up things that are important to her to make that love work.  (Watch this be about her arguing with her father about marrying *** lol.)

The theme of giving up your voice/what you hold dear for love is so loaded, and has some parallels to Clara Bow’s story, which is also on the track list so… Lots to chew on I’m sure.

Fresh Out The Slammer: Totally think the reference to her locking herself up for years at home because she was scared in the Time POTY interview is a likely link to this. Feeling free after the weight of this decision is off her shoulders, yet the sheer terror at now being on her own and rebuilding her future. It could be uplifting but I could also see it being like pure chaos. BUT, a thought I had earlier is that, if this is a song that was written pre-Joever, maybe it’s about the aftermath of a rough patch. Like, we just got our get out of jail free cards, we made it through the other side of this Big Thing that almost ended us (e.g. the final blow in YLM), where do we go from here?

Florida!!!: Emphasis on the “!!!”!!! Honestly it had me at FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE. I’m soooooo curious and sooooooooooooo pumped for this one. I don’t want to let myself hope it’s going to sound like a Florence song BUT I HOPE IT SOUNDS LIKE A FLORENCE SONG. I’m going to guess it may be a reference to the first stop on tour after the news broke. Wasn’t that also a show where a ton of things went wrong? I can see it going so many ways! Is it a hopeful “Florida I’m coming for you you’re a symbol of my great escape my prison break my entire life crumbling and rising again”? An introspective “I never thought I’d have to rebuild my whole world after it imploded, in Florida of all places?!”? Is it a sarcastic “fucking Florida always the scene of the crime I can’t believe my life is falling apart and I need to go to FUCKASS FLORIDA oh great every thing that can go wrong with my show is FLORIDA!!!!”? Is it a rant about the corporate mouse? Or a scathing takedown of Republican politics ahead of the 2024 elections? (lol) Who’s to say?!

Guilty as Sin?: Sooooooooooo curious about this. I’m a Carolina Stan and I know there is 0% chance there is a link between the two songs other than the lyric which is a common term, but it does make me happy. My first thought about this one is that it’s going to be biting or self-reflective — kinda like the bridge of Is It Over Now? Or the chorus of Anti-Hero. As in, “what is it exactly that you think I’m guilty of?” (E.g. ambition? Drive? Seeking attention? Being selfish? But could also be sad: Loving too hard? Caring too much? Being too needy? Hmmm.) I’m kind of feeling like it’s a “if it’s wrong to be guilty of these things I don’t want to be right.” Again if I had to guess I’d wonder if it would have the same vibes as the bridge of YLM. (For some reason, with the question mark, I don’t necessarily think it’s going to be accusing someone of something…)* I also had a thought about the seven deadly sins and this title and… THOUGHTS ARE THINKING**.

(*I may not have found it accusatory in February, but with the benefit of hindsight in March I… reserve the right to change my mind about this.)

(**Future Waves here: the thoughts may have been thinking for February Waves but March Waves has no idea what she was talking about.)

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?: I don’t knooooooooooow. At first the title kinda gave me Blank Space vibes, like, you don’t know how much I could fuck this up if I wanted. Then some people mentioned the similarity to Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? And now that’s absolutely all I can think about. If you’ve ever seen the movie (or the play), it is rooooooooough. Watching George and Martha drunkenly eviscerate each other as their guests watch on in horror is… oof. (As someone who has seen this happen in real life and was trapped on a boat with a couple in full unhinged mode… OOF. Just OOF.) Of course there’s the Burton-Taylor of it all too so… (there’s also an interesting theme in Virginia Woolf about buying into illusion to avoid the messiness of reality… and Martha resenting George’s lack of ambition.) Is this song cheeky? Or a threat? Is this a Better Than Revenge/Vigilante Shit rebuke or is it Bejeweled owning her personhood?

(Like any of these songs, there’s also the chance that it’s heartbreaking and is really a reflection on how the things that make her her can be weaponized against her… Or how her struggles/vices alienate her to the person she loves a la Anti-Hero…)

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can): My first thought is this is going to be one of her sarcastic/satirical/funnier ones, based on nothing except that this sounds like it could be an Olivia Rodrigo cheeky song lol. (Like, I immediately start singing this to the tune of “Get Him Back.”) Never beat those allegations, Taylor, we’ve all been there. It definitely feels like a stereotypical tale of “girl tries to fix a man who doesn’t want to change and refuses to give up.” Watch this actually be a sad ballad about the flip side of renegade and trying to help a partner through a crisis 😬 

loml: the quiet menace in this list!!!! Obviously we’re all immediately thinking “love of my life,” but because this is Taylor, we should not rest easy. The fact that it’s all in small caps is curious to me and calls back to text speak, so is this a term of endearment that turns into a final parting sign off? Is it from an email ahem? Is it a sweet song about the good parts of being together? A wistful song about a lost love? BUT THEN, because it’s Taylor, I can totally see this being a bait and switch and it standing for something else as some of you pointed out, like loss of my life, or love OR my life. Or something entirely different. I’m pretty convinced that this one is going to be devastating in some fashion. I just feel it in my bones.

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart: Like many of you, I’m fairly certain this is going to be a bittersweet Long Live-esque ode to the Eras tour. The pick yourself up by the bootstraps, get out of bed, the show must go on and the show is saving my life story. Just thinking of the quote from the Time POTY interview where she said, “I know I’m going on that stage whether I’m sick, injured, heartbroken, uncomfortable, or stressed.” And in those early weeks, it seems like she might have been all of those things at once. Just trying to talk yourself into getting out of bed when all you want the earth’s core to swallow you whole and never come back. Kind of like, I can pick up the pieces of my life and carry on even when I am dying inside. 

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived: Obviously this is about one Benjamin Button, please. OK, in all seriousness, it’s giving, well… *shots fired*. It’s giving “your integrity makes me seem small.” It’s giving “I’m a monster on the hill, too big to hang out.” It’s giving “all you are is mean.” So, part of me thinks it’s going to be turned on its head a little bit, just because… it seems to point to something directly and sometimes Taylor enjoys a bit of misdirection. So is this about someone who takes shots at someone else and in so doing, displays their own insecurity? Another thought I had is: Is this about someone who retreats into their own world so much that they’ve shut out everything and everyone else? Their whole world gets shrunken down to the four walls around them? I have a strong feeling this is an allegory-type song, using a fictionalized and possibly fantastical story to tell the real life one, but obviously I could be wrong.

The Alchemy: gonna be real with you all: I didn’t know that alchemy was the practice of turning base metals into something that looks like gold. I think I was mixing it up with apothecary or something, lol. I thought it was the practice of making potions and whatnot. #TheMoreYouKnow ANYWAY, I think the idea of “turning nothing into something that shines” is going to be important. Is it about using her best colours for a portrait to hide the cracks underneath? Is it about trying your best to make something work and thrive but ultimately coming up empty because the foundation is gone? Is it about turning these base experiences into art that fuels her? There are so many possibilities! (@taylortruther’s post about The Alchemy and other comments got me thinking too about the magician/illusionist scenario in So It Goes and now my brain is on fire.)

Clara Bow: Soooooooooo intrigued by this one too. People have pointed out so many of the interesting coincidences and parallels in their lives. Clara Bow was a silent film star who found her voice in the talkies — that right there is one metaphor about finding your voice in your art and your life. But it’s also an interesting parallel that she managed to parlay her success in silent film into talkies, at a time where few actors enjoyed a successful transition, which mirrors Taylor’s transition from country to pop. There’s the way Clara’s private life was splashed all over the press, driven by salacious rumours about her sex life and her perceived revolving door of lovers, which seems like something Taylor would empathize with. There’s the way she had a breakdown and left Hollywood, which may have some shades of 2016. Or that she got married and started a family, but insisted on keeping it a secret for many years to maintain privacy, which is interesting because in this case it seems like *Clara* was the one driving the need for secrecy, not her husband. (At least I read that in one article somewhere, sorry if that’s wrong!) Ultimately though, she died relatively young and was forgotten by mainstream Hollywood, a relic of a past uninteresting to all but the most diehard of film buffs. I’m getting vibes of “The Lucky One,”  (and “Nothing New”) both in themes and in storytelling. So, watch it be completely different and not a story about Clara Bow but instead just have it be an off-hand line lol.

BONUS TRACKS

The Manuscript: I’m veeeeeery intrigued by this one. (I know I say that about all of them. That’s because they all intrigue me.) I love the idea that this wraps up the “standard” album; the chair(wo)man of the Tortured Poets Department has submitted her thesis for review, and it’s up to the board to draw their conclusion. OR: the idea that this is the unfiltered submission to a publisher, before the editor’s review that will cut and tighten and ultimately make it better, but loses the author’s initial vision in the process. (Like self-editing to share the most palatable story to your reader. Which… Also gives Dear Reader/Midnights in general vibes.) OR EVEN: this is the author’s story, submitted to the audience for their review, leaving it up to them to draw their conclusions and annotate. There are sooooooo many ways I can see this going. 

The Bolter: A curious one indeed! I feel like of all of the bonus tracks at least, this is the one I have the least idea about. My immediate guess is that it refers to a person who runs, which would have all kinds of implications. Running from the law (unlikely lol), running from commitment, running from conflict… running for your life. Like running from commitment because you’re scared of being tied down (single girl version) to running from commitment because you’re scared of being tied down (bitter wife* version). (*NOT saying there was a secret wedding lol. I mean as in, that’s the future that was in store if one stayed.) I saw other takes saying bolter is also slang for jailer, which is also interesting with the Ready For It of it all. 

The Albatross: So much has been said about this one, so I don’t think I have much to ado about this one! The famous poem is rife with all kinds of allusions: the bird soaring on its own for up to six years, but being brought down by man’s cruelty. The bird looking majestic in the skies, but the burden of its wings dragging it down on land, slowly killing it. The story being a metaphor for how the very thing poets are exalted for in society are the things they are punished for personally. I think it’s safe to say this one is going to hurt regardless, whether it’s a reference to herself, to ***, or something else entirely.

The Black Dog: Also another one I’m not sure I have many thoughts on yet. The black dog being a metaphor for depression is likely the inspiration, and I’m assuming this has the potential to be one of the most vulnerable songs yet. I have a feeling most of this album will be, but the imagery of this — the black dog being a constant companion, wanted or not, casting a pall over its master’s every move — points in a pretty obvious direction. And one that is probably going to gut us.

Well there you have it folks! I am ready to be completely wrong!

#the tortured poets department #Happy Good Friday this post has risen from the dead #(oops was that uncouth of me) #three weeks!!!!!! #i need this album now #my brain is on fire #Writing letters addressed to the fire

[bluejay757]

TW: mentions of self harm

Lies. Simon out right said he didn't want to be Ice King and that he would have rather died. "But what about what Ice King wanted?"

They're the same fucking person. Ice King is not a separate consciousness or personality, he just doesn't remember being Simon.

Betty was not wrong or selfish she fucking sacrificed herself because of how much she loved Simon. She deserves the world. Simon is not depressed because he lost his ice powers he's depressed because the love of his life is fused with an all powerful demon and he's never gonna see her again, not even in the after life, had she made it out he would have been happy. Would they still feel out of place in the futuristic and magic world? Yes. But atleast they wouldn't be going through it alone.

Simon's predicament was a metaphor for two things. Addiction and dementia. Are you saying you think addicts don't deserve help when they literally beg for it? "You can't force an addict into rehab" you're right you can't, but he wasn't forced he wanted help. Do you think if an addict seeks help they deserve to be told, "no you should just accept who you are now" and be forced to live in their condition for eternity? Wtf. And dementia obviously isn't curable, but if it were everyone with dementia or alzhiemers would want it cured and deserve it. Because no one wants to live like that.

Simon wanted to be himself again he just wanted his wife there with him, he wouldn't have rather stayed the Ice King the only thing he misses is the blissful ignorance that came with it. It's like when you're depressed and you purposefully make yourself numb because numbness is better than sadness, until even that stops working so you turn to SH because you think it's better to feel pain than nothing at all. It is unhealthy and a harm to yourself, Simon doesn't need to go through that again.

"Ice King deserved to be accepted!" He literally was. Everyone had accepted him except for betty, but oh wait she was about to accept him until patience fucked her up and gave her a false sense of hope, it's not her fault Magic Man made her insane. Not to mention everyone else had waaaaay more time to come to terms with Ice King. It took Finn his whole life, and he didn't even know him as Simon, PB took hundreds of years to be on good terms with him, and Marceline, the only other person who knew Simon as his true self took nearly 1,000 years to come to terms with and accept Simon as Ice King. So what makes you think his Fiance, who had gone crazy through no fault of her own, would be able to accept everything that happened just like that? I mean did you ever stop and think how quickly that all happened for her? One morning she's having breakfast with her fiance in like 1999 and then that night she's in the year 3000 fighting a demon to save that same man? She had literal minutes to process all of this, she woke up that day not even knowing that Magic was real.

And one last thing Simon fears death now. He has a will to live unlike before when he wanted to die or kill himself, if that doesn't prove he's better off now idk what does.

I will not stand for Betty slander. She did the right thing. And I'm sick an tired of people saying otherwise.

#adventure time #simon petrikov #ice king #fiona and cake #betty grof #petrigrof #magic betty #as you can tell im very opinionated about this #fionna and cake

[u3pxx]

disco meshi au rambling below major spoilers for both disco elysium and dungeon meshi (only up until chapter 62)

BARKS anyways i was suddenly hit with a pang of "extremely normal about harry du bois" and thinking about the idea of harry being a former dungeon lord in this au

i'll copy-paste a bit of the rambling i did in tags (and clean them up) to catch you all up to speed

- ok so maybe harry + kim won't go dungeoneering on their own but maybe they were sent to investigate dangerous dungeons and sent to make sure those aren't threats anymore (kind of like the canaries) - maybe harry had become a dungeon master at some point and the part of him that was eaten was his memories. - GODD dungeon master harry is kind of giving me grief though. can you imagine what he would count as his perfect life. can you imagine when the illusion starts to fall apart and he's accepted that he will be consumed? but he doesn't get to die. that's his curse.

i have like several ideas on what things would be fun to explore in the au and one of those ideas is harry and kim being assigned to maintain the safety of a dungeon which just so happens to be: the dungeon that harry used to control.

(note: i do not remember that well what happens to a dungeon after the dungeon lord has been dethroned. iirc it does still stay there so OOF. imagine traversing to a dungeon and seeing things that should be familiar to you but you just cannot remember anything. it hurts when you look at it, but what did it mean to you?)

i just think that harry after being left, now an even more broken man than he ever was, being granted this false escape from his situation in the form of his deal with this demon. the kingdom he's built inside the dungeon, what if it was just a home. what if it was just a home, like any other home on the surface. surrounded by trees bearing apricots. what if it was a humble home for him, his wife, and their unborn children. what then huh orz

and then i thought: "hey now, didn't dolores have a line that LITERALLY had the words, "i will eat your mind"?" and then --

Dolores Dei: "... it was *a hundred million years ago*. I was someone else then -- filled to the brim with love for you. Hanging on your every word. Oh Harry, you were the *coolest*... But I am no longer that person. This..." She points to herself. "... has taken her place. It will devour you. Harry -- I will eat your mind."

COME ON. MAN. DO I EVEN HAVE TO DO ANYTHING HERE ORZ

thinking about. the demon manifesting as this monstrous amalgamation. if i think of a better animal than lamb that symbolizes what dolores dei represents then i'll change it but MAN.

anyways. thinking about this comic ryoko kui wrote and thinking about the dungeon as a metaphor for addiction. thinking about a demon that devours and feasts on a person's desires until there is nothing left of that person and thinking about the pale that slowly grows and expands and turns everything into nothing at all. MY BRAIN ISN'T WORKING ANYMORE SO I'M SORRY IF I CAN'T EXPRESS MY THOUGHTS MORE COHERENTLY. HELLO CAN ANYONE HEAR ME DFGDHJK

also, i think dora is an elf from a wealthy family in the au. just another layer of arghhhhgghgh to add above everything else. another reason why her family doesn't like harry is because he's from a short-lived race.

#den off the shits DFGHDJ #if u dont care abt spoilers or have no interest at all in this. i also drew a very neat drawing of a demon if u want under read more pfttt #disco meshi au #sunnysidedisco #sunnysiderambles #cw gore #tw gore #starry don't look

[sure-to-lure-someone-bad]

I have a whole theory about that contract and Angel and Val’s relationship! I was a domestic violence and sexual assault center volunteer, I have a degree in psychology, and I’m trained in trauma as a social worker in trauma informed foster homes. My thoughts are under the cut!

If you watch the music video for Addict, I think the beginning depicts the situation Angel was in and exactly how Angel and Val met. This is all just theory and unconfirmed, so please take it with a grain of salt!

Angel appears to be living in a shitty apartment and has a shitty life. He works as a stripper at some club and it seems he barely makes ends meet. I think this is supported by the flashes between Angel on the stage and Angel crying in his bed in a messy room. And then Valentino hires him for the night, which is the performance we’re watching from the opening.

Then Valentino sweeps him away to a life of gifts and drugs and expensive outings. I think Valentino spends time romancing Angel and love bombing him. My reasoning for this is that Angel signed that contract with a heart, his pet pig was a gift from Valentino, and the lyric in addict that says “you fell in love but you fell deeper in this pit”.

On top of that, there’s a popular theory that Valentinos saliva is an addictive drug. You can see it’s pink when he licks Charlie’s arm in this episode. You can also see during the Poison sequence that 1) Val specifically bites Angel and 2) Angel is shown to be disoriented from some kind of drug after pink smoke is blown in his face and 3) Val’s tongue is dripping pink drool immediately following that. It’s thought that the pink smoke cigarettes and the drug that was put in Angels drink are made with Val’s saliva.

If this is the case, it also makes the song poison both figurative as a metaphor for Val and literal as a description of the addiction Angel has to this drug. Not only does this tie into the video called “Addict” (where we specifically see Val shove his tongue in Angels mouth), but Val also calls Angel “addict trash” in episode 2 during the voicemail scene.

So now, the situation is that Val has convinced Angel he is loved, most likely gotten him addicted to a drug he produces, and has shown him a fun time. For all we know, Angel could’ve been high from Val when he signed that contract. But it would also make sense if he just signed it because he loved Val and trusted him.

And if you look at the lyrics to poison, it supports this idea; “spewing red hot lies” (believing Val loved him and trusting him), “addicted to this feeling”, “every night I’m living like there’s no tomorrow”. All of these portraying he is enjoying the life he’s living (early in their relationship when he was being won over by Val).

Then the next part changes; “I got so good at being untrue”, “telling you what you wanna hear”, “I dissociate, disappear”. These show how he started trying to appease Val when things were going sour. I would assume he’s already signed the contract at this point and is now trying to maintain the fun relationship they had beforehand. Letting Val have his way and escaping from what he doesn’t want to do by checking out mentally and emotionally.

This is also supported by the lyric change in the next chorus; “choking from taste”, “every night I’m wasted like there’s no tomorrow”. These indicate that Angel doesn’t want or like the poison anymore. “Choked” is a very specific word choice that has multiple meanings here. I think it’s alluding to already signing the contract and having that collar on his neck, to the sexual acts he’s forced to perform, to how forceful consuming this “poison” is. And he’s wasted on drugs and alcohol as a means to cope with his life. Things are definitely soured and he’s just trying to stay on even ground in his relationship with Val. He can’t escape and he feels trapped.

And then there’s the last bit; “drowning in poison”, “filling up my glass but it’s always hollow”, “sick of the poison”, “wish I had something to live for tomorrow”. He’s drowning. He can’t stabilize his relationship, he’s always trying to right himself against the waves of Val’s treatments and mood swings. He’s filling up his glass with the same alcohol he used to cope but it’s not working anymore. He’s sick of this situation. He wants out. He knows Val is bad for him and that this relationship and deal is hurting him, but he knows there’s no escaping it. He has nothing to keep him going and he thinks dying would be the only way out.

And the sad thing is, he’s right. He also thinks he deserves this for signing the contract in the first place. We see this with the lyrics “what’s the worst part of this hell? I can only blame myself” and the constant use of “I made my choice” in the chorus.

And don’t even get me started on Angel’s facade! I think Angel Dust is a persona that has been created in order to protect the real person he is underneath, Anthony. Angel Dust is used a way to cope with the abuse he faces and also as a way to protect Anthony from everyone around him.

Angel keeps people at arms length. He either distracts them from seeing behind the mask with sex and attraction keeping their attention or by diverting that attention away by making them uncomfortable. He also uses it to test people and see how they’re going to treat him. On top of that, he uses it to protect Anthony from judgement and rejection. “You can’t hurt me if you don’t actually know me. You can’t reject me when I created someone else for you to judge.”

And THAT is why Husk gets under his skin! Husk calls attention to the “masquerade” that Anthony is under. He can see through him and it makes him uncomfortable because the performance of Angel Dust is the one thing in his life that he has actual control over. Husk is a threat to the only thing Angel has to cope with outside of drugs and alcohol.

And I think Angel has spent years pretending everything was fine and normal so he wasn’t faced with the actual pain of his abuse. He’s numbed himself to the wrongness of a lot of it. I think we see that with how he reacted to someone drugging his drink. “I do this all the time” Angel says, but he means “people do this to me all the time. This is my normal.”. He doesn’t want it or like it, but it has to be fine because he has to deal with it anyways. And when Husk says “you just let people drug you all the time”, it gets a reaction out of Angel. I think the idea of Angel letting people do anything to him is something he hates because he’s so desperate to have some bodily autonomy in his life. He’s controlled and forced to do things so often and he hates it because he /does/ blame himself for his position. To him, he did let this happen.

So he responds “you think I ask for it?!” Because he doesn’t. I’m sure he has to hear that he’s “asking for it” all the time in the porn industry. That he’s somehow causing others to treat him this way.

I’ve run out of brain power, but I’ll probably have more to say later!

#huskerdust #hazbin hotel #angel dust #hazbin hotel husk #op #angelhusk #valentino #analysis

[tobiasdrake]

What's the best depiction of/metaphor for addiction you've seen in fiction?

I don't know if I'd call it the best; I have a hard time remembering all of the media I've consumed when given general questions like that. But the one that stands out most in my mind, at least, is Willow Rosenberg's four-season decline into overdependence and eventual substance abuse of magic in Buffy: The Vampire Slayer.

A point I really like about the way BTVS handles addiction is that it doesn't blame the substance. The message isn't, "Magic is bad for you; It makes you an addict." The problem is never magic, and we see other characters both using magic responsibly and confronting Willow for the way she uses it throughout the series.

The problem, the message that BTVS conveys through Willow's addiction plotline, is addiction. The problem with addiction is addiction. You can be addicted to all kinds of things, not just controlled substances like drugs and alcohol. Caffeine can be addictive. Sugar. Video games. Fast food. Gambling. Sex. The internet. Money. Whatever gives your brain that dopamine hit that makes life worth living, that can form an addiction.

The problem in BTVS isn't magic. It's Willow's dependency on it. The way she makes it her personality, replacing who she was before. The way she leans on it as a crutch whenever things are physically or emotionally difficult. The way it substitutes for her lack of self-esteem, validating her with an artificial confidence boost by making her feel powerful and uniquely capable.

It starts in season two, with Willow casting her very first spell in the season finale to restore Angel's soul. Giles warns her then and there that casting this spell will "open a door that you may never be able to close". She doesn't really know what that means and neither do we.

But from season three onwards as Willow begins to learn about magic, we see her constantly turning to magic whenever things get hard - against advisement from the rest of the cast. People think the addiction storyline began somewhere in season six, but it actually began in episode 03x08 "Lovers Walk".

Willow and Xander, at this point, had begun cheating on their boy/girlfriends Oz and Cordelia with each other. Willow feels intensely guilty for it. At this point, they have three options in front of them:

1 - Break up with Oz and Cordelia, and get together. 2 - Do a better job of controlling their attaction to one another and remain faithful to their partners. 3 - See if Oz and Cordelia would be up for a polycule.

Willow decides to take a fourth option: She decides unilaterally that she should cast an anti-love spell on herself and Xander to magically erase their feelings for one another. She doesn't even consult him on it; In fact, she actively lies to him to keep him from realizing what she's doing.

She's put in a difficult but relatable situation; This is her first time having to make a choice between two people she's interested in. It's a situation where she needs to figure out what she wants for herself. And her response is "I can lobotomize us with magic".

It's gonna be a bumpy ride from here. This is Willow's chief character flaw. When things are hard either physically or emotionally, she leans on magic - Whether it's appropriate or not. Something that both Giles and Tara criticize her for as the seasons progress, to which her response is to sneak around behind their backs and do spells without their knowing - Such as trying to curse Oz after their breakup or giving Dawn guidance to perform an ill-advised resurrection spell on her mom.

Again, the problem is never that she does magic. Magic is shown to be tremendously useful in making the impossible possible. The problem is that she keeps leaping to extreme gestures of magic to do what was already possible. That she uses it as an emotional crutch, as a surrogate for her own self-esteem.

Magic makes her feel powerful. It makes her feel valid. That's something she didn't have before she had magic, and something she doesn't have when she isn't using magic. So she overindulges and rides the high of being able to crinkle her nose and make party favors go up, or stab a god with knives, or make anyone she loses come back to life because she is Willow Almighty and magic has made her omnipotent.

She likes being Willow Almighty. It's an awful lot better than Willow the Put-Upon Nerd. So she lets an otherwise benign activity become her entire personality, and she is made worse because of it.

#btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #willow rosenberg

[itsclydebitches]

ted's, "it's not about me. it never was"

and all I felt from trent was, "oh, but it was"

I thought trent was going to stick to his word and tell ted why he was wrong...

but I guess ted just summed up his outlook and something trent so loves him for, so trent couldn't deny ted's wish. but there's got to be a future out there where, while still published as "the richmond way," trent still goes on and tells ted why, for trent, ted was entirely wrong about that.

I feel like in the show I want Ted Lasso to be -- and, crucially, the show I thought it was; the show it arguably should have been based on every other episode that came before this -- Trent would have corrected him. Because this is not an acknowledgement that Richmond doesn't belong to Ted, or even Rebecca, which is a reminder that I like. Ted allowing the fans to sit in on the practices and Rebecca selling portions of the club to people like Mae highlights the heart of the team, that this club "means something" to the community, to quote Trent. However, the book is explicitly, specifically about this particular season of football and how Richmond came to have their Cinderella moment... which is all due to Ted. I get why "Believe" is framed as the fourth factor in Total Football (and frankly I think it would have been a better title for Trent's book if he had to reject The Lasso Way), but belief is only the end result of the work Ted has done. Anyone could have waltzed into Richmond and said, "Believe in yourself!" but it wouldn't have done a damn thing because it was the unique approach of The Lasso Way that taught everyone what belief really means. Ted is the fourth aspect because it is only through his methods that generic concepts like Belief, Friendship, Trust, Compassion, etc. become understood well enough to be implemented despite the obstacles.

So yes, I think Ted is wrong. Trent isn't arguing that Richmond belongs to him, he's arguing that Ted irrevocably changed Richmond for the better... which is true. But the finale doesn't commit to that argument because, frankly, the finale commits to VERY little that the rest of the show lays out.

Ted Lasso spent its whole runtime arguing for Roy/Keeley and then dodged it at the last moment.

The finale argues strongly that Rebecca is already a metaphorical mom to the team and the fans, but then throws in a literal, blonde-haired blue-eyed daughter in at the last second.

The show has consistently framed Beard/Jane as an abusive relationship -- from Higgins intervention to Beard talking to God about his addiction to "pain" -- but the finale irrevocably fames this as true love instead.

Our wonderful queer plot-line made it clear that Colin was too scared to kiss his fellow after a game because that would out him as the only pro, queer footballer... and then he just does it anyway. Which I'm not upset about on its own, to be clear, rather I'm upset that there was no setup for why Colin's feelings changed; why he's suddenly willing to shoulder an understandable, HUGE downside.

The finale argues VERY strongly that Ted should not go back to Kansas. In fact, I plan to write a whole damn essay on that. He's clearly not himself, Rebecca is begging him to stay, Beard is staying and is in tears over the idea of betraying him, they haven't won the whole thing yet which provides a practical reason for him to stick around, Ted literally questions whether he's making a foolish, horrible choice as he's sitting on the plane... and then he does it anyway.

This finale is chock-full of choices that don't match up with what the rest of Ted Lasso has written, or even something from earlier in the finale itself. When Trent says that he's going to push back against any criticisms and explain why they're wrong, outside of the jokey "I'm a passionate writer, an ~artist, who is a little on the arrogant side," it sets up a moment for Trent to indeed correct one of them about their view of the book. After all, he's been the observer all season and arguably has a more objective understanding of what's been happening around him than they do. We've already seen it! Trent stops Ted and (accurately) explains how no, he hasn't changed tactics. You've been doing this for three years. I can see that even when you can't.

The show sets up the moment where Trent will explain that Ted is the foundation of Richmond's success and, presumably, helping him come to terms with staying here.

... and then we never got that.

There were honestly so many parts of the finale that I loved, but most of them were details like the Sound of Music farewell, or putting the "Believe" sign back together. Structurally, one of the few things I really bought into was the team winning the West Ham match and losing the league... which was unfortunately soured after the fact because that now reads as the PERFECT excuse for Ted to stay another season, yet he doesn't. I'm trying so hard not to read the whole thing pessimistically given how many of those details I loved, but when the core plot of the episode has so many problems, damn is it difficult. Other than Rebecca, it felt like the whole cast, Trent included, just gave up on Ted and given my very strong feelings about Kansas I wanted to shake the episode by the shoulders and go, "Stop acting as if this is a good thing just because this is what the writers originally planned! Did you learn nothing from HIMYM??" There are these moments, like with the book note, where you get this sense that everyone is respecting Ted's wishes, but that they thoroughly disagree with them, and the show never hits the point where Ted's viewpoint is appropriately challenged in a way that would make him reconsider. Despite the fact that Ted is a character who frequently needs to be challenged due to limited, inaccurate perspectives brought on by his anxiety (this season gave us "Find out before you freak out" as a big example). I legit had hope for a moment when Sharon showed up, thinking that Ted's therapist of all people would be able to articulate why giving up his family/support system to play his mother's approved version of fatherhood might not be the best decision... but, like so many other aspects, her return didn't amount to anything other than a wholesome callback.

It's a tragedy, frankly. As in, the genre definition. Everyone in the Ted Lasso cast is living the Rom-Com ending of found family, new romantic relationships, and bright, happy, humorous moments... except for Ted himself, staring pensively into the camera as he comes full circle, back to where he began. Back in Kansas. Back (non-romantically) with a woman who doesn't like him very much. Back trying to be a perfect father because that's what's expected of him + that's what his trauma demands of him. And now he's dealing with Jack, no Beard, no American football, no professional soccer, no visits as the rest of his family undergoes major life changes. Just Henry and the reminders from Season One that you're allowed to be a goldfish. After all that growth Ted has gone backwards.

I said before that obviously they were setting up the Kansas ending -- I'm not saying it came out of nowhere, not at all -- but I really don't understand how anyone can watch that and not feel depressed as hell about it. Ted Lasso is a show that consistently left me feeling good and hopeful and nearly giddy with pleasure. It says something that after finishing yesterday I mostly just felt hollow.

#Ted Lasso #Ted Lasso spoilers #mymetas #Trent Crimm

[rogue--nation]

Uncommon Simon Ghost Riley (mostly for OG than Reboot) Headcanons that I find realistic.

1. Social Anxiety and Communication Issues. Simon finds it difficult to communicate with people outside his field of work, especially women. He doesn't have much experience with them and he is afraid to be perceived as a freak. However, women are usually afraid of him, sometimes curious, but keep away, feeling this sense of uneasiness, awkwardness around him. It is simply because he doesn't know how to be a so called normal person. Nothing about him is quite normal. Military has always been a significant part of his life, of him entirely. He doesn't know what to talk about or even finds civilian life boring. Every time he is on a shore leave he feels like an outsider among the locals. He keeps to himself to save himself from a conflict or an embarrassment. But if he gets comfortable enough around someone, he can be perceived as a very interesting and intelligent person. Simon usually gets rid of this anxiety by drinking. A little bit of alcohol percentage really makes him a normal person.

2. Soldier intuition and reflexes. It helps him a lot and sometimes... It causes trouble. Intuition sure saves his life in tricky situations and also this same intuition makes him read the signs wrong and cause a misunderstanding, a fight or a conflict, especially around civilians. Let's say, he casually activates his fight or flight response. Not always, of course, but there are some instances that make his life a lot harder than it has to be.

3. Adrenaline addiction. He is very paranoid. Always ready for a fight. Maybe even looking for it, looking for trouble. Civilian life indeed is boring for him for this lack of adrenaline release, so sometimes he intentionally escalates situation to let out some steam, despite being a very calm person by nature. (IDK maybe that's why he still lives in Manchester, there's always trouble).

4. PTSD. Yes, he suffers from it. Especially after Brazil and Rojas. He's been tortured psychologically, physically. Beaten up, raped, buried alive with a corpse. And he fucking survived. It didn't make him stronger, it broke him. It killed something that doesn't let him step away now. This very mission has branded him, cursed him to go on and never lay down his weapon. There's no way back from battlefield for him. He has nightmares, but tries to cope with them. Most of the time he is to tired to have a very emotional reaction to such dreams. And he wears himself down to have a dreamless sleep.

5. He knows a bit of Spanish and Portuguese. And he understands when locals speak these languages, he can read and easily communicate, but he prefers to not show off this skill too much, this is a tactical decision. The less enemy knows about you, the less they're expecting.

6. Detachment from him face. He almost forgot how he looks like in the mirror, he barely looks in it. When he thinks about his face, he mostly thinks about his mask. It's a part of him now, like an another layer of skin. The skull pattern on it is an echo from the masquerade paint he had on his face during Los Muertos. He metaphorically died back there in Brazil, died in the hands of his torturers. He is shell of a man he used to be. He is Ghost now. Phantasma.

When he has to take it off, especially in civilian environment, he feels naked, unsafe. Like if he is stripped of something that makes him who he is. It's almost an equivalent for a regular person to put on a mask and hide their face. The mask IS Simon's face.

7. Emotional spectre and control of them. He has a hard time processing and understanding his emotions sometimes. He reads anger well. Despair, too. They're common. But others, more complex states are a mystery to him. Cause-and-effect relationships of his own mind are troubling time to time. He well knows what can trigger him. And when Simon understands what's bothering him, he can develop means to control it.

The struggle to read himself, however, does not affect his ability to read others, especially the enemies. He can predict what they're about to do, how they're going to react.

On the outside, he tries not to show much, but his voice reveals his emotions in critical moments: the screams, the stutter, the growl.

8. Need for affection. Like any other human being he needs attention, care, words of affirmation. He lacks it in his life. Yeah, he is on a good terms with his team, he is stoic and self-contained, but deep inside he is needy. Physical touch, emotional connection, romantic love.. he aches for it. But his logical side clearly understands that he is impossible to love. He is a troubled man. Wrecked. No one would ever want him in their life. A burden. Loving someone like him is a death sentence. So, there's this emptiness within him.

His perfect match would be someone "normal", mature and understanding. By saying "understanding" I don't mean just being able to accept him as he is, but someone having a similar experience in life, someone, who knows how to cope with trauma. And this significant other shouldn't be a "crutch" for Simon, because in my opinion such relationship wouldn't last long. It's not about fixing him, but about showing him that things can be different if he finds other means to cope with his demons than just restlessly fighting. He has to make a choice: to keep himself in that vicious bloody cycle or finally step up and take another challenge. I don't think he can actually change, but he definitely can make it work if someone believes in him.

Yes, he can hire a prostitute and let out some tension, but he will feel terrible afterwards. If, of course, he will actually be able to get intimate at all, by setting aside all the anxiety, fear and hate he has for himself . It's easier to take care of himself on his own.

Talking about sexuality. As I mentioned, he is not very experienced and he gets intimate rarely, so at first he doesn't last long at all. He can be a bit awkward, but he is never rough, since he has enough violence in his life and for him the act of making love is about tenderness. He would never want to harm or hurt his partner in any way. He is usually quiet in bed, but can be very audible from time to time when he simply cannot control himself.

#simon ghost riley #headcanons #simon riley #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare 2 #call of duty modern warfare reboot #Please note #this is just my opinion #don't take it personally. #“uncommon” because I've never personally seen anything like this mentioned in headcanons I've seen here #I might be wrong #throw rocks at me

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Propaganda why Dean Winchester is insufferable:

Really mean to Cas (called him a child, zero respect for him, calls him family and casts him out when the angels are looking for him), and an absolute dick to Jack (threatening to kill him CONSTANTLY)

>Was a misogynist (loved to call women skanks, bitches, hoes)

>Used gay as an insult multiple time during the show's run (idc if he's gay an homophobic, that's still insulting)

>Beat up his brother for being possessed

>Beat up his brother for losing his soul (not his brother's fault)

>Used dubious consent to get his brother possessed in a different unrelated possession incident after possession was being used (badly...this is supernatural after all) as a metaphor for SA

>Threatened to murder his brother when he was hallucinating (yay we aren't ableist)

>Locked a child up in a box

>Threatened to kill the child he locked up in a box

>Made a creepy, sexual comment about a barely-legal high school girl

>Got the woman and kid he was living with memory-wiped

misogynistic scumbag. theres also a few different times that dean finds teenagers sexy with the most recent and prominent example that i can recall being the scooby doo crossover episode in season 13 where hes super into daphne who in the version they chose for the episode is 15-16 and is interacting with her as if shes a real person cause they got magicked into the episode. he treats everyone around him like shit and the only time the narrative agrees that thats a bad thing is when he has the mark of cain put on him and hes acting no differently than he does usually its just now acknowledged that hes treating others like shit. ive been rewatching the show for shits and giggles with a friend and wow he really does not treat anyone well but i wanna focus on how he treats sam for a second cause dude's hobby seems to be ignoring what his brother wants and lying to sam about doing stuff that directly concerns him the demon blood and souless things are reasonable cause those were both Bad for sam but theyre still part of a wider pattern and the most prominent example of this being when dean tricks sam into letting gadreel possess him and actually gaslights sam about it with the whole ordeal ending when its revealed gadreel lied about who he was and while possessing sam murders a friend of theirs. his voice is just also stupid as fuck im sorry this is just petty but he just sounds like hes trying so hard to be gruff n intimidating but he just sounds like a kid pretending to be batman

Dean’s list of sins is crazy long because of how long the show ran, but the key thing for me is that post-locking Sam in the bunker (season 4 I think?), I just can’t enjoy their relationship anymore. I normally love their sibling dynamic, but Dean’s ultimate worst past-the-point-of-no-return moment for me was demonizing (pun intended) his little brother for being “addicted” to demon blood, which only happened because of a series of events that were either Dean’s or someone else’s fault, not Sam’s. I also really dislike how the fandom treats Dean like this angel (pun intended) who has done no wrong and even tries to justify the MULTIPLE times he’s beaten up and otherwise abused his little brother. Canon Dean is like the polar opposite of fanon Dean: he’s homophobic and racist (jokes about a Black man being sexually assaulted in prison), misogynistic (take a shot every time he calls a woman a slur and you’ll die of alcohol poisoning), and abusive.

Propaganda why the Tenth Doctor is insufferable:

They’re so *edgy*

That one time he committed a genocide by drowning the last children of a near-extinct species (Racnoss) because their mother was evil. The closest anyone ever got to calling him out on it was when Donna noted that his take on a *different* set of weird alien babies (the Adipose) was a lot nicer than last time.

A combination of hypocrisy, sanctimony, and an equally insufferable fanbase. And the dissonance between what he actually does and how the narrative presents it.

#dean winchester #supernatural #the tenth doctor #doctor who #insufferable protagonist poll #insufferable protagonist tournament #tournament poll

[tetsunabouquet]

Hey there! Idk if you still do knb but if you do and and are fine with it, can you please write some Murasakibara nsfw headcanons? Much thanks!

A/N: Of course I still do KNB… Anyways, here you go!

(18+)

-Don't be surprised at this man's oral addiction. He loves the taste of your pussy's love juices. -Sometimes, he's not even in the mood to actually have sex and he'll just eat ou out as you climax over and over again. -Which is why his favorite girl is one who squirts, because of how much more fluid he can feed on. He gulps it down like its his favorite soda. -Honestly, you don't need to worry this guy is too selfish in bed, Murasakibara's quite the opposite. -Often he praises you for how amazing you taste, and what a delicacy your pussy is. -He's low-key a bit submissive too. -Murasakibara likes a woman who's confident and strong willed. He likes it when you take charge and prefers you on top. -He does adore the view and watching your breasts jiggle as you ride him, even though he doesn't really cares for breasts all that much. It often tempts him into sucking away at your breasts because of how it reminds him of shaking pudding. -Once you get pregnant and start producing milk however, his interest in them skyrockets. He loves drinking your milk. -You have to smack him across the head when he starts pondering on wether he should use your breast milk instead of regular milk as an ingredient in pancakes. -He somewhat develops a minor breeding kink afterwards, just to keep the milk going. -Do not underestimate this man's gluttony. -Which is why he actually has a lot of food themed nicknames for you. Like Sugar, Candy or Cookie. -And also why, if he were to put on a playlist during sex, it would be one filled with songs using food metaphors like, Candy Shop by 50 Cent. -Birthday sex with Murasakibara can only mean one thing: Whip cream, lots and lots of it. -He also gets turnt on easily if you eat certain foods, like licking ice cream or hearing you moan when you eat your favorite for dinner. It's his kryptonite, I swear. -Murasakibara loves to snuggle and cuddle after sex. -He adores holding you as if you are his stuffed animal. -Murasakibara will bury his face in your hair, he loves the feel of it and the scent of you and your sweet shampoo. -It's not unusual for him to fall asleep still holding you like that. You honestly think it's kind of precious. -He drools a little in his sleep so he does get your hair wet too. -Even this man's dirty dreams consist out of you being covered in melted chocolate. There's no end to his hunger.

#knb #kuroko's basketball #murasakibara #murasakibara atsushi #murasakibara x reader #whip cream #melted chocolate

[the-hype-on-tv]

vignette and addiction: my takes

(cw & tw: substance addiction, general addiction, mention of sexual themes and pornography, self destructive behavior, anxiety and depression)

vignette is one of my favorite songs on clancy (all of them are, but that's not the point), and as i was watching the livestream i heard tyler mention explicitly that the song was about addiction. and that's a theme i think it's important, and it's good that he brought it to light

while you'd read the lyrics and think the song is clearly about substance abuse, I don't think this is what tyler meant it to be about. not entirely.

the thing about addiction, is that everyone can have it, be in larger or smaller scale. it's like a tick that latches onto your skin but you can't see it or feel it because it numbs your senses.

I've dealt with addiction before (not substance, but adult entertainment on the internet, and then in real life) and i think this to be true: anything can be an addiction. be it a mania like biting your nails or maybe an eating disorder, to spending too much time on certain apps; everything that keeps us enslaved can be hurtful for our health.

we become mindless zombies, we can't see what's around us, we can't think unless it's related to that thing in specific that will bring back the feeling, the comfort. it's desperation for relief, for numbness, for a familiar pain. i see "the vignette" as a metaphor for something you can't always see, but it's there, until it swallows you completely

when i was deep in my addiction, one of the things i couldn't stop thinking about was: "can people see that I'm an addict? am i hiding it well?" the anxiety of wanting to appear normal, like I want struggling, like i wasn't under the control of something so simple and mundane, it consumed me to the point of wanting to isolate myself.

you're always clinging to the promise you won't do it again, you won't let it win, but sometimes you can't. and that's okay. it's a constant fight, a process, and it might never truly go away, but you'll get stronger each time.

the second verse messes with me the most. when you see someone who has openly struggled with addiction, the before and after may surprise you. people who were once so full of good values and confident in themselves "suddenly" let themselves rot away without realizing, or without caring.

i think "where do i go from here" represents the emptiness you feel once you're sober. you feel lost, like you're in the dark and you can't find footing. you want to feel comfortable again, but it never lasts long enough.

and of course "no not me it's for a friend" would be a controversial one. you could say that the hurtful thing you're consuming isn't for you, it's for a friend, but you could also say that about help. i personally like the help one, but i think both can be right. admitting to having a problem is the first and most difficult step in all of the process, you're always so scared of feeling judged that you'd rather pretend it's someone else who has to deal with it. heck, I'm feeling that right now as i write this! sometimes I can't use the right words at all without feeling a chill down my spine, but i believe that it's just like exposure therapy, and I'm sure it will be less and less scary to talk about it as i grow, just like tyler is talking about it now

vignette is a masterpiece, and although I don't and probably won't know for sure whether tyler has dealt with a different kind of addiction like i have, or if he actually is just referring to substance ones and I'm putting my bias into it, I don't care. this song will always have a special meaning to me and i hope it does to everyone else as well:

everyone struggles. we might be ashamed of it sometimes, but we should take pride in our recovery instead. it'll be hard to seek help, but the search party will come.

#twenty one pilots #tøp #twenty øne piløts #skeleton clique #twentyonepilots #tyler joseph #the clique #clancy #vignette #cw addiction #tw addiction #cw substance use #tw substance abuse #cw hypersexuality #tw pornography mention #song analysis

[morethanwonderful]

All the talk about Kendall and his recurring water motif today just made something click in my brain, and I finally understand what that symbolism is all about.

In the "western literary canon," very often, water is a symbol of rebirth. A character being submerged in water (or sometimes even just drenched in the rain) is a metaphorical baptism. It's a symbolic way of wiping away past sins and starting anew. And I don't think there's anything Kendall wants more than to be reborn.

Kendall is constantly trying to reinvent himself to be new and better. He wants so badly to be a force for his idea of good and to be free from the oppressive influence of his father, but he can't do that while he's still an addict weighed down by old baggage and the misdeeds of his past. His attempt to buy the company in s1 is an attempt at this very glorious reinvention. So is rehab after the car crash. So is his betrayal at the end of s2, going onward into third season.

The water imagery isn't even the only allusion to his rebirth! He's shown with references to Jesus multiple times. He does the Judas kiss before sacrificing himself, and he was going to crucify himself at his birthday. Between that and the baptism, he is constantly coming back to this very Christian idea of being reborn. The show does it through imagery, and sometimes Kendall even engineers these images himself! He wants to have his old sins wiped away and become something good and better and new. And if he can martyr himself Jesus-style as part of his glorious rebirth, that's even better.

The problem with this, though, is that each and every one of his rebirths is a failure. His crusade for women crumbles into a narcissistic mess, which then crumbles into a possible attempt at suicide. He's pulled out of the hot tub prematurely to do his father's bidding.

At the core of Succession's writing is the idea that, now matter what happens and no matter what choices you make, you can never escape the person you are inside. People in Succession do not fundamentally change, which means that Kendall's dream of rebirth will always be impossible. His attempts at reinventing himself into a wholly good or successful man will never work because he still has all the same broken pieces down inside. He can never not be Kendall Roy.

Kendall's water motif is the symbol of his constant pursuit of a rebirth he cannot have, but he cannot understand this. He always thinks that it's going to work this time, but every reinvention is just the same as him lying in his empty bathtub. The baptism he dreams of does not exist.

#I think this might be my first proper Kendall meta #he's honestly my least favorite of the big 3 sibs #in that I'm generally less drawn to his story than his siblings' #but god do I love a good piece of symbolism #succession #kendall roy #succession meta #english major hours #kendall roy my beloved #long post #successionposting

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

Adhd Sanzu propaganda because I want to, I already convinced someone:

He's a chaotic gremlin (Not need to explain that).

Same way that happened with Kakucho and Izana. Sanzu's days and life revolve around Mikey (I don't think I need to put examples here). Mikey is Sanzu's special interest and I'm saying it without shame! (Maybe a little bit of shame only)

Sanzu doesn't have sociallization skills. At all. But in a specific way that gives me adhd vibes (putting the trauma a part). Sanzu as a kid is sweet but weird. We can see him not reacting to Baji's tantrums in a way that yeah, can be bc he's used to, but also, his focus is not there. He's awkward in a way that makes me think that he's used to not fit in, to be look as a weirdo every time he talks. So he does the "I'm not gonna talk at all because when I do people hates me". Then, as a teen no division wants him because he's "a wild horse". Excuse me? Have you seen half of Toman? It's because he's weird and doesn't fit in, the wild part would not bother them so much on it's own.

Sanzu doesn't have a middle point. He's always extreme. When he followed Muto became extremly quiet and calm, almost like a shadow (again, it could be literal thinking of the orders Muto gave him).

His weird poses once he's not hiding himself anymore. All the Bonten scene, he's just doing his show, talking too much, too loud and too fast.

All the energy he have also in Kanto Manji. He's so hyped with being with Mikey. Acting loud, being weird and saying things that are only funny in his head bc he forgot to explain the joke (besides the cryptic timeleaping things I mean).

I know in Bonten and Kanto Manji Sanzu is unhinged, but there is something in the way he does it, not caring at all if people gets him or not. It screams adhd "fuck you all i'm not masking anymore" mood so badly!

The katana. The freaking katana is so over the top and so dramatic. And he obviously cares about his katana a lot, he never drops it in the fight against Toman, not even when Taiju sends him flying.

The teatricals of his plans in general. He kills Mucho with a katana in the place where the Kanto Incident took place. And he takes his mask after doing it. Such dramatic and aesthetically pleasing way of killing people.

The train. Hello? This is not NT thinking. Killing everyone, okay, sure. But with a train? What? And he brings his katana just in case? No middle point legendary level here.

He plans chaos. He literally thinks for days how to do the most random and chaotic unhinged thing ever! (The train, the train!)

He have literal thinking. Mikey told him to "smile" so he does it once he's finally serving his king. A big grinn all the time.

His addiction. Since adhd brains don't have impulse control, we tend to be addicts more than the average (I know this part doesn't prove it but it checks too).

The way he have so much beef with people that is happening only in his head. Yeah, he's a hater. But also, I can see a lot of rejection sensitive dysphoria and overthinking because he's mind is telling him everyone would reject him.

He was childhood friends with Mikey and Baji. No one is neurotypical there xD

Visual stimulation. Bright pink and so many vivid/strident colors. C'mon, his bike is pink and pretty! That aesthetic makes my adhdbrain happy. He's obsessed with pink in a not at all NT way.

He's hypersensitive and can't handle some smells (Takemichi, I'm so sorry for you).

Twisted sense of danger over here too. But different than Kakucho. Where Kakucho runs towards danger, Sanzu is the one causing it directly.

Sanzu being banned from meetings in the final timeline. Because he doesn't know when to shut up since he never did masking here.

THE UNMASKING METAPHOR! I left this one for the last because I just realized yesterday and it's beautiful. When he enters the 5th Division, he stops being loud and wild (he's still weird bc Sanzu). The same moment he starts wearing the mask. There is something there, a ND teen who doesn't fit, who is tired and just want to be like the others, being told to "just do that for not driving so much attention on you". And he does it. He wears the physical mask and he starts acting different, doing masking (not literal this time). Until he frees himself of the physical mask. And he stops masking his symptoms, his full personality. He doesn't give a shit anymore about getting too much attention, he's so sick of hiding, that he thrieves in attention now (even in the final timeline does that, he's a youtuber). Unmasking legendary level! (And hardcore masking when he does it)

Edit bc I was sure I wrote this but apparently not: Sanzu has no interest in forming new relationships either. Like Kakucho with Izana, he only does with Mucho because Mikey told him to. But even if he has zero interest in forming new bonds, he's still the center of attention (after unmasking), still being there loudly, being a big part of what marks the dynamic of the group. The "I don't wanna make new friends" but "I can't stop talking and being loud in a group", also a classical adhd mood!

So... I think that's all I can't think for now. It's probably messy and chaotic but hey, it's a post about adhd, so that's fine, right? 🙈

@just-sp-in-inginthevoid spreading adhd!Sanzu like I promise.

Ps: here is the Autistic Kakucho Propaganda in case someone is curious. This two are a pack and they hate it so much 🤣

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers spoilers #sanzu haruchiyo #sanzu headcanons #tokyo revengers headcanons #also you know the 'autism vs adhd' meme? considering sanzu and kakucho are basically archnemesis... yeahh #adhd gremlin #adhd #adhd sanzu