#what the fuck bill

[pintsofguinnesmakeyoustrong]

not sally writing a whole show where shes an amazing mother supporting her kid out of an abusive relationship and then becoming abusive towards her real life kid. not telling her agent that she has 'more to bring to the table than breakfast' only to end up as a waitress in a breakfast bar. not barry spinning a narrative to his son about being a war hero and even naming himself after superman when his son doesnt even know his real name or that they're on the run for murder. 'he thinks my name is emily' 'but he knows who YOU really are.' not hank telling barry that he didnt want to take everything for himself and wanted to split it 50/50 with cristobal only to kill cristobal and taking it all for himself but still acting like it's both of their empire. naming his business a combination of their names and erecting a golden shrine to his dead lover. everyone is acting. everyone trying desperately to live their own lie.

#even fuches leaning into the raven narrative #what the fuck bill #barry #hbo barry #barry spoilers #bill hader #alec berg #barry berkman #sally reed #noho hank #cristobal sifuentes #sarah goldberg #anthony carrigan #michael irby #barry meta

[thatrandomblogsays]

Annabeth: I, a child, had to earn Thalia’s love, that’s how the world works! I have to earn my moms love. Love is transactional, you gotta be worthy of it first silly :)

Percy, listening to this on the train

#STOP TRAUMATIZING THIS CHILD PLEASE #this is what it’s like when you were raised in a loving home and you find out your friend wasn’t #but they don’t know they weren’t #so you’re like um hey that’s fucked up and sometimes a crime? #you tell them parents are supposed to love you as is without earning it and they don’t believe you #you can hear the therapy bill racking up #annabeth chase #Percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo #pjo series #pjo tv show #mine #adding on to my tags because some people are debating if that’s how love works #love is meant to be a mutual exchange and something that grows over time between two people as their bond grows #whereas how Annabeth says it #in my opinion at least #she had to do XY and Z to be worthy of thalias love before receiving it #like with her mother #she has to be amazing before Athena is proud of her #vs Athena being proud of her just for being her daughter #that being said I’m not hating on a traumatized child having potentially negative and toxic patterns #more pointing out the comedy of the scene from Percy’s perspective who has a good grasp on healthy vs unhealthy relationships

[originofwest]

HOLY SHIT NEW BIPPER DESIGN IN THE YEAR 2024???!?

#what fucking timeline are we living in omg #bipper #gravity falls #bill cipher #dipper pines

[inkskinned]

no, but really, we need to talk about the casual objectification that has become the fallback discourse of the internet: if you're pretty and dressed nicely, you're a slut. and if you're even vaguely outside of their body standard, you're fucking disgusting.

too-frequently, people position sex workers as being "the problem". they sneer you're addicted to pornography, you don't know what a real woman looks like. but real women are in pornography. the real bodies on display are not the issue here: the issue is that other people feel extremely confident when commenting on someone's physique.

2000's super-thin is slowly worming its way back into the public ideal. recently i saw someone get told to "go for a run", despite the fact she was on the thinner side of average. not that it would ever be appropriate to say that: but it's kind of like sticker shock when you see it. people think that is fat? holy shit. do they just have no idea about things?

but what are you going to do about it? that's the problem, right. because chances are - you're a normal person. we can say normalize carrying fat on your body, but we are not the billion-dollar diet industry. we are not the billion-dollar fashion industry. we are just, like. people. who are trying to make content on the internet, without being treated shittily.

as someone who has been on both sides of things: you are treated better when you are thin and pretty. this is statistically correct. i am not saying that you cannot be bullied for being thin; i'm saying there are objective institutional biases against certain bodytypes. there are videos of men and women who lost weight all saying: i now know for a fact exactly how much worse you're treated. in the comments, some asshole inevitably says something akin to you deserved to be dehumanized when you were fat.

which means that ... the easiest thing to do is be pretty and thin. it is the path of least resistance, because of course it is, because any time you post a picture of yourself without a thigh gap, someone immediately comments something like you need to try a diet.

the other half is also dehumanizing though, huh, just in a different way. when i put on makeup and nice clothes, i am told i slept my way to the top as a professional. do you know how many women in STEM have told me they purposefully dress to "unimpress" because they already struggle to be taken seriously and if they're ever considered pretty - it for some reason takes away from their authority.

so they make it seem like it's your fault. you, existing in a body - it's your fault! if you didn't want shitty comments, don't have a body. they position us against each other like chess pieces; vying for male attention we don't even need.

and i can be an authority on this unless you think i'm fat and unattractive. when i am pretty and thin, i'm an activist. when i am just a normal person who makes a good point: i am immediately dismissed. nobody fucking believes you if you're not seen as attractive. you literally lose value. you cease to exist.

but the whole time, it feels like - is anyone actually grounded the fuck in reality? the line of "pretty and thin" keeps shifting. nobody seems to understand what "a normal weight" even looks like, because it's not something that exists - you cannot tell a person's health by looking at their body. even if you think you could tell that, even if you're sure a person is dangerously overweight - people are not your dolls. they do not need to be dressed up or displayed properly to soothe your aesthetics. you aren't concerned for them, you're stealing their agency. you don't get to say if they're "allowed" to take pictures and post them on the internet - you don't get to tell them how to exist.

people hide behind "the obesity epidemic" without any actual qualifications. they crow things about "normalizing unhealthiness".

but it's bullshit. i have visible abs. there is a pair of parallel lines on my body, even when i'm relaxed; where my obliques meet my abdominal wall. i am proud of this because it means i'm strong, because i overcame an eating disorder only to be ripped as fuck. it is genetic and physical luck that i even get any definition, i'm pleased as punch.

but it does mean that my abdominal wall sticks out a little bit. the other day i posted a video of myself dancing, and, for a moment, my shirt slipped. you could see a little bit of my stomach. i was cartwheeling to the floor. moments before this, i'd had my foot over my head.

a guy slid into my DMs. a row of vomiting emojis prefaced: you should really lose some weight before you think about dancing.

i stared at it for a long time. there was a time when i would have been triggered by this, where it would have encouraged me to starve myself. i would have ignored the fact i'm flexible, agile, good at jumping: i would have lost the weight for a stranger's passing comment. i would have found myself and my body fucking disgusting.

and for what? to please what? because why? so that he can exist in this world without an unchallenged eyeball? what would my self-hatred even accomplish? usually i write paragraphs. obviously. on this particular occasion, in this body i've been at war with for ages: i just felt exhausted.

it shouldn't be even worth saying. it shouldn't be hard to explain. all of this emotional turmoil when he cannot even comprehend the most basic truth: i am not an object on display for him.

#spilled ink #writeblr #warm up #like if im getting fatshamed. babe......... wake up #is there fat on my body? yes :) #btw this behavior wouldn't be okay even if I WAS overweight!!! that is my point!!! #it is both that people have no idea what weight is supposed to look like #and even if they DID... they do not seem to understand that PEOPLE ARE NOT DOLLS #YOU DO NOT GET TO TELL THEM HOW TO EXIST #if you respond anything akin to ''but raquel there IS an obesity epidemic'' #you're blocked and reported. #go fucking DONATE TO A FOOD BANK THEN. volunteer in a food desert. start a free fitness program #GO GET A DEGREE AS A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL AND PRACTICE IN NUTRITION IN UNDERPRIVILEDGED LOCATIONS #FIGURE OUT HOW TO LOWER FOOD COSTS. FIGURE OUT HOW TO NORMALIZE AND STANDARDIZE #ACCESS TO FARM-FRESH FOOD. PROVIDE ACTUAL FREE ACCESS TO OUTSIDE ACTIVITIES #FIGURE OUT HOW TO TEACH PEOPLE HEALTHY CHOICE MAKING WHILE ALSO LOWERING THE COST OF MEALS. #THE AVERAGE GROCERY BILL OF THE AMERICAN CITIZEN HAS QUADRUPILED IN THE LAST YEAR. #SHUT. THE FUCK. UP!!!!!!!!! #you don't want to help these people!!!!! #you want to bully them but still feel like a good person! #you want to be justified in your hatred of an entire CLASS of people!!! #you don't give a fuck about how it makes them feel!!!! #you care ONLY about whether or not YOU get to VIRTUE SIGNAL that YOURE so thin and pretty!!!! #it is BECAUSE of people like you #and the fact you tolerate fatphobia - BECAUSE of that normalization. that men like the one who called me fat #feel like they can get away with it. #bc there's a line for you where you WOULD be okay with it. where if i WASNT thin you'd be okay with it. #which means the line can always be pushed in a certain direction. and it's always going to appeal to male aesthetics. #''well you didn't deserve it'' maybe fucking NOBODY does babe. maybe we should just all agree not to comment on ppls bodies!!

[roach-works]

hey i just wanted to say thanks for still expressing positive sentiments towards homestuck even after all this time. most BNFs aren't creating fanworks as much anymore (no one could maintain that intensity forever tbh!) but when they completely divorce themselves from that part of their life it's just... those creations brought a lot of joy, and it's extra sad when they feel the need to go scorched earth. i'm happy your works are still around and i really do wish you all the best going forward!

i think a lot of us abandoned homestuck because of two factors: the first was the collapse of the proudly sex-positive fandom space that let us be weird and creative without fear or shame, and the second was the fact that homestuck ended, then launched several epilogues, in a way that seemed specifically designed to mock fans for caring.

like, some very dark, sad, awful things seemed to happen to hussie, and he certainly did not have a good time with his own fandom. but from the perspective of someone in the audience, if a show i love turns on me and starts directly insulting me for loving it, caring for it, and hoping for the best, i get up and leave the theater.

'isn't it horrible to be the hero? aren't stories just prisons? isn't love ultimately meaningless? isn't hope the main driver of tragedy?' sure, fine. yeah. you're not the first man to ask these questions. they're big damn questions!

'aren't you stupid for sitting there and watching me ask these questions? because the answer is that i'm an idiot for asking them and you're twice an idiot for thinking that the answers might be worth the wait.' now you're just being an asshole to yourself, your story, and your audience. im taking my toys and going home.

homestuck was a brilliant, fascinating, unprecedented monument to storycraft... and it ended like a sandcastle getting kicked over by a toddler. that, to me, is the central tragedy of the piece.

#homestuck #on writing #i learned a LOT from homestuck #like 'sooner or later the bill for monsterfucking will come due' #'a huge mob of teenagers are several bombs waiting for someone to happen' #'don't write to spite your fans everything will suck immediately' #'what you love is as important as how you love it' #'do not end a story so badly it makes everyone who loved it hate you' #'“fuck” is an excellent intensifier'

[lexosaurus]

Companies nowadays are getting SO comfortable asking for our social security numbers.

Like why tf does Optimum need my social to install wifi? They're just an internet provider, they don't need my social. I don't care that the last people living at my location didn't pay their bill, there are a dozen other ways to prove that I'm not them without me handing over my social.

Anyway, hot tip, legally you can refuse to give your social security in unnecessary cases like this. If a company needs to prove that you are who you say you are, they have alternative ways to do so.

#not dp related #and y'all im SO fucking cautious about fraud #that's really what this is about #protecting yourself from fraud #i just always say i dont give out my social over the phone #if kelly from geico needs my social security to prove my identity post-crash #then she can tell geico to go fuck themselves and whatever dispute between our insurance companies is between them #here's the police report again hasta la vista #if optimum needs my social to untag my apartment for 'do not service' #then they can go fuck themselves there are other ways to prove i'm not Juan #here's my billing address hasta la vista babey

[pempempemto]

i cant do this no more u guys

#what the fuck what the fuck #alex hirsch i will break into your house and eat your walls #i cant do this again oh god #POITNGING AT THAT YELLOW FUCKC WHAT ARE YOY DOUNG HERE #GET OUT #I CAMAT DO THIS SGAAIAGAIN #gravity falls #alex hirsch #bill cipher #book of bill #i heard of the news yesterday at MIDNIGHT #IT TOOK ME TWO HOURS TO GO TO SLEEP I AM GOING TO KILL THAT TRIANGLE

[samglyph]

I can’t be the only member of the unhealthily obsessed with gravity falls as a kid to unhealthily obsessed with malevolent as an adult pipeline

#yes these are some of the sketches that are old but I tricked you cause I did clean them up prior to posting #just so they like. make sense #the problem with these is that now I’m thinking about the implications and I’ve got like a whole au in my head #malevolent #my art #gravity falls #malevolent podcast #Arthur lester #John doe #dipper pines #kayne malevolent #bill cipher #anyway arthur and John circa season 2 get transported into the future and into Oregon and they wander into a shack in the woods with weird #signs looking for medical help because Arthur is once again fucking dying and dipper is like. yellow eyed BITCH oh wait no this is different #fuck what’s wrong with this British man

[nitekrawlerz]

Did he really fucking work RAD into the fucking script

#what the fuck bill

[ohhamlet-art]

One last black bird without a place to be turns around, in hopes to find the place it last knew rest.

#violently rattling my screen with both hands like it's bart simpson #also it took me so fucking long to align these two images you have no idea #case file : going insane #lyrics from 'too many birds' by bill callahan #<- no.1 twelveclara song of the moment for me #have to bite my knuckles every time it comes on shuffle #and yes I accidentally disneyfied peter capaldi while sketching - voila #don't know what to do with myself now #can't replicate it exists by pure chance #so enjoy #doctor who #twelveclara #twelve x clara #clara oswald #doctor who fanart #dw #dr who #dr who fanart #the doctor #dw fanart #doctor who art #twelfth doctor #12th doctor #nuwho #hell bent #face the raven #heaven sent #twelve #ohhamlet art

[swampthingking]

andrew’s definitely gotten in trouble with his pr manager for tweeting things along the lines of:

“no mania inducing medication will compare to the euphoria i will feel the day donald trump drops dead”

#pr manager is like: andrew… this is the last time i’m gonna tell you #andrew: whats the point of democracy if i can’t exercise freedom of speech #pr manager: andrew it’s no longer about your image #at this point we are concerned the fbi is going to show up #andrew: neil has connections. i’m fine #they thought marketing andrew on social media would be good #they were sooooo wrong #because now andrew has a place to share every insane thing he’s ever thought #for instance—a tweet that just says ‘an alien googling: human clothes’ #he’s on there advocating for lgbtq+ youth you KNOW HE IS #he’s cursing and mildly threatening members of congress for imposing these disgusting bills #one day he tweeted ‘does mitch mcconnell know he’s dead yet’ #when mitch mcconnell stepped down from senate andrew tweeted ‘hopefully next he steps down from life’ #unsurprisingly: this endears him to some people and makes others fucking hate him #and he’s such a shit. he does not care either way #he’s kind of just like: pr manager. you gave me a twitter and told me to tweet. i’m just doing what you asked me #they’ve threatened to change his password so many times #they actually did once but andrew reported the account so many times for defamation and fraud that it got suspended #and he made a new account out of pure spite #his pr manager is like: andrew nobody is going to want to sign you because of your public image #and andrew is like: ?? ok. they can lose every game then #(he knows he’s the best goalie) #ok i think that’s enough for now. however i will probably be back #andrew minyard #aftg #tfc #trk #tkm #the foxhole court #all for the game

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

last of us tv adaption decided to make a Gay Romance For The Ages out of a Gay Pettiness Subplot and i respect that sm 💘but PLEASE recognize both r valid

#the last of us #tlou #looking up the frank & bill video game canon backstory after that episode? whiplash so bad i'm wearing a neck brace #*leaves a goodbye note telling my husband of 20 yrs i hate his guts #then vanishes without a trace only to have my body gruesomely discovered after an undisclosed length of time* #i mean what a WAY to go out #forgive me if i have misinterpreted the 90 seconds i spent reading the game wiki but that is the impression i came away with #'dear bill. go fuck yourself. i'm running away to a caribbean island to lay on a beach & be fed grapes by young men in speedos' #*immediately dies*

[genevawren38]

There's...a lot to unpack in this next bit.

First of all. The yelling at Tallulah? That is the first time I have ever heard him raise his voice in anger at his children.

Second. She can tell Phil, that something isn't right. She knows her Dad, though emotionally distant in a lot of respects, would never ever turn his rage upon her. And the fact he has been gone so regularly on this quest for lining their pockets, completely unlike how he used to be. At the beginning all he wanted to do was build a house and spend time with his eggs.

Now he is often gone the moment he wakes up to loot or find more treasures, away more often than home. His want for earthly goods has begun to outweigh the value of familial love, so wrapped up in this desire to protect his family and gathering more shinies.

She knows his heart. And she knows his intentions have begun to warp to unhealthy levels.

She knows her Papa as one with a joyful laugh, kind words, gentle hands and a willingness, above all else, to help others.

This stranger wearing the blonde's face is not her father.

She was the one to widen the gap in Phil's armour after Fit broke the initial hole. She knows how to speak to his emotions, to find his soul and try to revive it as it decays.

Then....this.

I think this is the moment it hit how serious she was.

I never quite clocked the fact she held that accidently swing against Philza from months ago now...she's just a kid. How often did she think or worry about the possibility of it happening again?

I think the worst part for Phil is he realises she isn't upset with him. She's scared of him. And that's so much worse.

Another thing I also just remembered; she hates having things withheld from her knowledge, its a breach of trust.

This is terrifying for her. To watch the steadiest thing she has ever known to shatter and break apart. To fall into the clutches of endless needs over what truly matters.

Spending time with those you love.

It doesn't matter if you own the most expensive things in the world, some happiness is only found eternally in the souls of those you came to grow close too in this small blip on a forever timeline.

Tallulah's only thing she can hold in a storm is her family. To see the head of it become hostile and deliberately ignore his own descent....goddess she must feel so hopeless.

#qsmp #wrenrambles #qsmp tallulah #qsmp philza #philza minecraft you are paying for my therapy bill posthaste #cause what the fuck what the fuck

[rofax]

I took a piece of art from my journal like, 2 years ago, and re-did it digitally bc it has been feeling ESPECIALLY POIGNANT LATELY.

#ro talks #art #line art #self love #you're here for more than that babes!! #you're not here to be attractive and demure and unobjectionable to others #your main value is not how young you look or how closely you mirror what is on the media #there is fucking more to life than anti aging #than going to work every day just to make ends meet #than constantly fighting your body because you think it should take up less space #take it from someone who had to stare her own mortality in the face #when that time comes #you aren't going to be wishing you were just a little prettier or a little smaller or had paid all your bills #you're going to wish you'd had more time with your loved ones #with your friends #your family #your pets #your hobbies #i know we live in a capitalist hellscape and you can't just #opt out #you have to work to pay bills and all that #but don't let it be your whole world #you're worth so much more than that #take care of you first #fuck the ideal body or face #fuck your boss #(not literally please) #take! care! of! you!!!!!

[petite-phthora]

Do you think it was a date?

[DP x DC fic]

[Love at first... murder? - part 5]

<< Prev | Next >>

Part 1

Ao3

---

In-chat nicknames:

Daniel = Danny

Sharpshooter = Jazz

TooFine= Tucker

Chaos = Sam

TheCoolerDaniel = Danielle/Dani/Ellie

---

Private chat nicknames:

Bill = Danny

Pants = Jazz

---

As soon as Danny enters his apartment, face bright red, he takes his head into his hands and lets out a silent scream.

He could have said anything, and he panicked and went with Toodealoo Kangaroo???

At this rate, he’ll never get a partner.

As Danny stands there in misery, his phone starts buzzing with messages. Curious, he checks his phone to see what going on.

Uh oh.

---

Team Phantom 👻😎

Chaos: Guys check this out

Chaos: *link*

Chaos: The Joker escaped from Arkham again, but no one’s heard anything of him since, nor have they been able to find him

TooFine: @Daniel 👀

TooFine: ok the @ had been a joke but the fact that he has read it and not replied is concerning

Sharpshooter: @Daniel, what did you do?

Sharpshooter: @Daniel

Sharpshooter: I can see that you’re reading this, don’t ignore me.

TooFine: ohhhh someones in troubleee 👀

Sharpshooter: Tucker.

TooFine: 🤐

---

Danny takes a deep breath.

Well, it’s now or never. Let’s hope Jazz is feeling merciful.

---

Private chat

Bill: ok so you know how you said you would still love me if I was a worm?

Pants: I have no clue how this ties into the previous conversation, but yes. Why?

Bill: hypothetically

Bill: would you also still love me if I

Bill: hypothetically

Bill: accidentally

Bill: vibe checked someone that tried to uh

Bill: hypothetically

Bill: kidnap and or kill me??

Bill: 🥺🥺🙏

Pants: Danny, did you accidentally kill the Joker?

Bill: yes or no Jazz??!? 😩🥺

Pants: Yes, Danny. I would still love you if you, hypothetically, accidentally killed the Joker.

Bill: this is why you’re my favorite sister 🥹🥰😘

Bill: don’t tell Ellie 😳🫣

Pants: Danny, what happened?

---

Danny lets out a sigh of relief before proceeding to tell Jazz what happened.

---

Pants: Oh Danny.

Bill: are you mad at me?

Pants: I’m not mad at you, I just want you to stay safe.

Pants: While I don’t condone murder, I understand that it was self-defense and an accident. I‘m just glad that you’re alright.

Bill: 🥰💞😘

---

With a small smile on his face, Danny goes back to the groupchat.

---

Team Phantom 👻😎

Daniel: you know

Daniel: if I had a nickel for every time I’ve had to fight off an insane clown that attacked me 🤡

Daniel: I’d have two nickels

Daniel: which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice, right? 🤔

Chaos: Damnit Danny, we leave you alone in a new city for a week and you already manage to get into a fight with one of Gotham City’s most infamous rogues

TooFine: actually its been 6 days 10 hours and 17 minutes

TooFine: so not even a full week yet

Chaos: Did you at least get a good few punches in?

Chaos: Danny?

TooFine: @Daniel ???

TooFine: if i had a nickel for every time danny said something concerning and then didnt provide context id be richer than vlad

Daniel: anyway, for completely unrelated reasons, @TooFine I need you to wipe some cams for me 😃

TooFine: danny im not wiping the cams again so no one will have proof of you tripping backward and falling ass-first into a trashcan

Chaos: Speaking of, Tucker do you still have that footage and can you send it to me?

TooFine: already done

Daniel: noo it’s nothing like that this time 😫

Daniel: pleaseeee 🥺🙏🙏

Daniel: I’ll get you an autograph from Tim Drake-Wayne?

TooFine: deal.

Daniel: 🥳🎉

Daniel: ok so the footage from somewhere around 3 am last night

Daniel: around some place named park row??

Daniel: I think it’s called?? 🤔

Daniel: though I’m pretty sure I’ve also heard some people refer to it as crime alley

Daniel: not sure why tho 🤷

TooTine: aye aye captain o7

Chaos: Danny, in an alley getting attacked by the fucking Joker: I wonder why this place is called crime alley

Daniel: stop bullying me 😠

Chaos: No

TooFine: hey danny r u sure thats right? i checked the cams n stuff but theres no available footage from the area n time u described

TooFine: its like someones already wiped it all

Daniel: oh!

Daniel: that’s so sweet of him  😊

Chaos: Wait who is this ‘him’?

TooFine: the joker????

Daniel: oh no not the Joker

Daniel: just some cute guy I met last night  

Daniel: he witnessed me killing the Joker 🫣

Daniel: and didn’t call the cops on me afterward 🥰💞

TooFine: def green flag

Chaos: Oh hell yeah, he’s a keeper

Chaos: Wait you killed the Joker?! I thought you just fought him off!

Daniel: it was an accident!! 😭😭

Daniel: he crept up on me and tried to grab me 😓

Daniel: so I got startled and because all I saw was a clown

Daniel: I just kinda punched his face in with my ghost strength… 😰

TooFine: f

Chaos: f

Sharpshooter: Have you gotten rid of the body yet? Did you leave behind DNA at the crime scene? Will I need to start saving up bail money or getting ready to enact the Fenton Break Out plan?

Chaos: Jazz asking the important questions here

Daniel: well, considering the footage was wiped

Daniel: and also the fact that no one’s found him yet

Daniel: I think it’s safe to assume it’s all taken care of

Daniel: that’s honestly really sweet of him though 🥰😊

TooFine: oohhhhh ur mystery boo??

Daniel: yeah, this random guy saw me vibe-checking the Joker

Daniel: and let me go home without any trouble

Daniel: pretty sure he’s the one who wiped the cams 🤔

Daniel: and then today he showed up at my apartment with flowers 🥺

Daniel: they were sweat peas!!!! 🥰🤩

Chaos: Was that to thank you for the murder orrrr?

Sharpshooter: Oh those are your favorite, was that on purpose?

Daniel: well I didn’t tell him

Daniel: so I’m not sure if he knew or if it was a coincidence 🤷

Daniel: but yeah then he took me out to this restaurant called Pete’s for dinner

Daniel: they had some amazing cannoli

Daniel: you should try it sometime if you get the chance

Daniel: and then after dinner he took me to the observatory!!!!!!! 🤩🥰

Sharpshooter: Gotham observatory?

Sharpshooter: Isn’t that the one with the special telescope, I think you mentioned it before

Daniel: yeah, the crystal-powered telescope!! 😍💞✨🤩❤️

Daniel: and at the end, he brought me home

Daniel: and he asked for my number!!!

TooFine: nice dude!

Chaos: The guy really went all-out and planned your dream date hu? So, what’s this mystery hunk’s name?

Daniel: oh I’m not sure, I didn’t ask 🙃🤭

Sharpshooter: Danny…

Daniel: yes?

Sharpshooter: Did you go on a date with a complete stranger who witnessed you commit a murder?

Chaos: How do you not even know his name?

Daniel: two words Jazz: Johnny 13

Daniel: and he’s not a stranger!! 😠

Sharpshooter: But you don’t know his name?

Chaos: We just can’t leave him alone, can we? Less than a week on his own and he already murdered one of Gotham’s most infamous rogues and then completely forgets the concept of Stranger Danger

Daniel: I mean he probably just found it when he tried to do some research on me or something

Daniel: probably got it from the school’s system now that I think of it 🤔

TooFine: dude who the hell is this guy??

Chaos: Who the fuck did you go on a date with?

Daniel: do you really think it was a date? 🥺😳

Daniel: I wasn’t sure

Daniel: cause he mainly took me out for dinner to thank me for the night before

Daniel: but then again

Daniel: he did get me flowers and ask for my number after he brought me back to my apartment 🤔

Daniel: like I wasn’t sure if I was reading the signals right…..

Daniel: but do you think that was a date? 🫣

Sharpshooter: Danny, for the love of the Ancients.

Sharpshooter: Who was it?

Daniel: oh, it was Red Hood 🥰

TooFine: damn dannys got that vigilante rizz

Sharpshooter: Red Hood? The crime lord?!

TooFine: former, actually

Daniel: what he said ^^

Chaos: Danny, you really have a type huh? Vigilantes with a Red theme. Who’s next? Red Robin?

Daniel: stop bullying me

TooFine: never

Chaos: Never

Daniel: on a different note, who changed my name in the chat again?

Sharpshooter: Ellie did.

Chaos: Ellie

TooFine: @TheCoolerDaniel

TheCoolerDaniel: 😎

TheCoolerDaniel: wait i just read back, danny’s dating a crime lord?? :0 👀

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Taglist (for now, I’ll probably stop if I cant keep up):

@i-always-say-yea  @uraniumwizard

#i had more planned for this chapter #but this already started to become too long #so the batfam reactions will hae to be in the next chap #sorry #anyway #dp x dc #dp x dc fic #dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc crossover #dead on main #dead on main ship #Danny in an alley getting attacked by the fucking Joker: I wonder why this place called crime alley #team phantom has questions #but then again weirder shit has happened #danny killing the joker and going on a date with red hood is barely in the top 10 of weird/fucked up shit he's done #he seems fine and happy so theyre not too worried #might be planning a shovel talk in a private chat tho #sam: alright ill get the creep stick #sam: jazz-- #jazz: already getting the ecto-skeleton ready as we speak #oh for those who are curious #jazz and danny's private chat nicknames are references to invis-o-bill and jazzie-pants the nicknames #question: would anyone mind me adding some plot? it'll still be mainly crack of course #but i got a thought of how i could add in a lil plot #tho i won't do it if people prefer it like this #so let me know what y'all think

[searching4sarahtonin]

Shit Actually

ok, so I know this might ruffle a few feathers, but the 2003 film Love Actually fascinates me. It's a terrible script, I mean god-aful, but all ten British actors of the early 2000s act the shit out of it. They're delivering these stellar performances with absolute garbage lines and barely 2-dimensional characters. It has at least ten different stories, none of which have any plot whatsoever, and somehow all the characters are connected in a bizarre Six-Degrees-of-Separation that makes absolutely no sense and stretches the non-plots to their breaking points just to depict. It has a completely pointless song feature, unrelated to the story about a musician trying to score a hit with an atrocious cover that he himself eviscerates. It has a child dodging post 9-11 airport security like Simone Biles. It has a porn shoot. It has a Hugh Grant dance sequence. Bill Nighy is naked. Just describing this clusterfuck of a film makes me sound psychotic. And somehow, somehow, UNRELATED to ALL OF THE ABOVE, it's a Christmas movie?! I think I'm having an aneurysm.

#what the fuck #love actually #There are only ten British actors #plot? what plot? #bill nighy #emma thompson #alan rickman #hugh grant #liam neeson #Oh yea and Billy Bob Thorton is the president? to Hugh Grant's Prime Minister? How is that not queer coded? #nina sosanya