#whatever i'm thinking or feeling

[daenerys-targaryen]

i think the pipeline from #leah rambles being banned ➡ me becoming a journal girl makes a lot of sense.

#leah rambles #i mean here i am still posting but... journaling is fun #😝 😝 #i just write!!! #whatever i'm thinking or feeling #thanks shauna shipman for inspiring me to do that #among other things #but yeah #we'll see how it goes #some days i dont' do it (forget) #but i've also started using reminders more on my phone #we are trying so self care so hard

[bixels]

Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.

Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).

Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.

Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.

Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).

AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.

But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s

At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.

#mlp #yeah i wrote this last night during insomnia. #yeah i know an embarrassing amount of crap about this kids show #but whatever it's my hyperfixation i'll store as much useless information as i want!!! #i'm gay and neurodivergent i have an excuse #in case you needed more proof that aj's my favorite character #personal #delete later #unless you like this analysis stuff #i get why they didn't reveal aj's parent's death until way later and why they didn't do much with it but i wish they did #cuz narratively there could've been so much material with aj's grief. like. i feel like we gloss over the fact that she lost her #mother and father as a teenager #i tried keeping my personal hcs out of this to keep it unbiased #but i'll put some in the tags #involving rarijack –– i think aj can be (but not always) very self-conscious about her relationship with rarity #anxieties that she's not the right fit or that rarity will move away and leave her some day or that another woman will take her attention #(like in rollercoaster of friendship?? nudge nudge??). basic seperation anxiety stuff #long post #regarding applebloom whenever i think about her and her parents i think about that scene in steven universe where steven looks up at #a portrait of his mother and openly wonders what kind of sack lunches she would've made for him. that episode still fucks me up

[thepunkpanther]

BOTTOMS + trivia

#i feel like the bottoms hype has died dramatically BUT I'M NOT OVER IT #also tbh i think the film is set in the late 2000s but these are from imdb whatever and also i hope no one has done this yet? sry if so #bottoms 2023 #bottomsedit #filmedit #filmgifs #bottoms movie #cinemapix #moviegifs #useraurore #userclara #userallisyn #tuserdee #userriel #usereri #usertiny #usertj #userkam #tusercourtney #userbrittany #tuserbelovas #userjl #userzil #userrobin #userbeckett #usercleo #usergay #*

[sutekinii]

So I just found out that Trigun Stampede was #2 on Polygon's best anime of 2023 list. Keep going forward, running man.

#Vash the Stampede #Trigun #Trigun Maximum #Trigun Stampede #Trimax #Tristamp #nii art #I think that dub line really encapsulated the feeling of how Vash has existed and kept running as several incarnations now #I'm really glad to hear Tristamp has been doing pretty good overall #Here’s to the future and whatever studio orange have cooked up for the series #because while there’s a general outline there are so many ways they could get to the end now

[astrolavas]

thinking about the... potential clawthorne woodcarving mentorship.

+ bonus cuz also thinking abt how if hunter ever met dell's palisman and got reminded of flapjack, he'd probably feel bad abt making that association cuz he knows what it's like to be seen only as someone's different version (even though the bird wouldn't mind much so lol)

#eda having that palistrom seed.. hunter saying he wants to learn how to carve palisman... his relation to clawthornes. it HAS to mean STH js #the owl house #toh #hunter toh #toh hunter #hahaa always thinking abt hunter growing a soft spot for palismen and loving creating and bringing them to life #but never being able to replace flapjack no matter how many palismen for other ppl he carves. I'M GONNA- #:((((( :/// #like he's not going to want to replace flapjack just like that rn. cuz he LOVES that bird. it's gonna be so hard for him to just.. Move On #and flapjack's a PART of him.. so very curious where they'll go with this because..... HM. HM like he serves as his disability aid almost #and he can't just REMAKE him. but he cannot also just.... ignore what happened straight away. but it's also important to heal #but whatever he decides to do i feel like he'd love to just............ create. whether it be for himself or others #BUT GAH. ANYWAY XKJSJSK wrote an essay abt this already don't need to write one in the tags TOO. so uh .. yea #little guy.. pls find happiness #my art #fanart #hunter #hunter noceda #hunter wittebane #eda #eda clawthorne #dell #dell clawthorne #dell's palisman #toh art #edalyn clawthorne #also like...... if flapjack and dell's palisman were caleb's and evelyn's palismen...... and knew each other........ #and while flapjack was waiting for his new person at the bat queen's cave dell's palisman was being passed down clawthorne generations #OUUHGHHHHGHHHH they were probably friends..... they Knew each other #what's up with you you mysterious yellow bird with eyebrows...... what's your story

[voltaical-art]

part twooo!!! less sad on this one :)

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #wyll ravengard #tav #comic #voltaical ocs #bishop #well i kinda ran out of steam on this one #but i still like how it turned out :) #will bishop ever explicitly tell wyll how he feels? probably not he will continue just being affectionate and hope he gets the hint #so wild having ocs that i'm not planning long form comics for so i can literally just make comics for whatever scenario im thinking about #crazy if you want to make comics you actually just have to do it LMAO

[literaryspinster]

I hear a lot of talk about how Hollywood isn't comfortable with showing romantic relationships, interracial or otherwise, without a white person involved. But I'm not sure that fans are actually comfortable with that either? And I don't think they're comfortable without a significant white (white male specifically) presence in their favorite genre shows.

#i'm not trying to start drama but i'm hearing some takes on gen v twitter that are making me not know how to feel rn... #like we have a show that doesn't go out of its way to center white men too much and yet i sense they wish they would do it more #and like #why? #because the combo of cate emma and sam can literally do the job of whatever new white character they think would add something to the cast #if you need a nice white character to be a man for whatever reason then maybe watch the boys? you'd probably like it. i do. #dm me if you're curious i guess but again i don't want drama and i don't want to automatically think the worst of people

[madneywedding]

the way i would pay for oliver to write meta about buck's character

#like. he Gets it. i've been thinking about buck in this ep for five days straight and he said it better in one sentence than any paragraph #i could ever come up with #people are arguing over whether buck #acted the way he did bc he wanted tommy's attention or eddie's attention or bc he was feeling left out or whatever but i don't think it's #any one thing i think it was just a general feeling of Wrongness when tommy showed up borne from thirty years of repressing his sexuality #and he tried to rationalize it as jealousy or whatever and worked through the fact that his behavior was completely unreasonable but #it wasn't until tommy kissed him that all of the rage that was trapped inside him was allowed to escape bc he finally had a name for it #he's been turning over parts of himself for years trying to find that final piece and getting more and more upset when it eludes him #n this kiss was the kind of cathartic relief that he so desperately needed bc it allowed him to understand what's been missing #anyway. oliver stark i love you so much i'm so grateful you play buck #buck #rae.txt #911

[mblue-art]

BAD SANSUARY // [29] glow for owl-bones's event !

pov u attacked the little error doll he gave u w/ sooo many smoochies and he felt all of it

alt. vers. under the cut !

#badsansuary #error!sans #error sans #mblue art #tsundere idiot. get loved on <3 #i like the idea of him having a dual-color blush but i'm still trying to figure out how to do that;; i think it ended up looking good :0 ! #also!! love the idea of error making a (magic-infused?) plush doll of him for whatever reasons; i think its cute and thoughtful #have little guy w/ u by ur side whenever he's away so u can cuddle him whenever u miss him; #it being infused w/ magic (?) making it somehow possible for him to feel the hugs n kisses; #i think it's a nice way to be physically affectionate w/ him even when he still has haphephobia #(haha oh man im rlly kissy for badsansuary HSBJHSBDFJSDH wait 'till you see the next one 😎 bet u cant guess what's in it 😎😎 /silly)

[mintjeru]

rough day?

open for better quality | no reposts

#kaveh #alhaitham #kavetham #genshin impact #genshin #fanart #myart #doodle #i'm fine!! probably. i just wanted to draw alhaitham being comforted #while it is funny that he became acting grand sage despite not liking leadership positions- #i do feel bad for him just bc those positions often entail much more stress and work #kaveh gives him hug hugs and patpats and chu chus to help him feel better! and they will talk about whatever's bothering him #while i would love to wish for alhaitham this coming update i think we all know my priorities lie with a certain adeptus #i will have him eventually though #for kvthm reasons and personal reasons #unrelated but i also got k.hadein b.yleth in feh this morning. if anyone plays #snagged two 4 stars early into pity and decided that was a sign to stop #it's good though i have feathers so he's a merged 5 star now #didn't even have to whale 😌 #'whale' meaning i spend the 2k orbs i've been saving since forever

[cherry-blossomtea]

Ifrit shows up after LT wearing a gimmick t-shirt ‘liberated’ from the Rhine gift shop that says “Tested and Certified by Rhine Labs, LLC” and Silence about passes out

#I’m going to draw this when I wake up I promise #arknights #and to be clear i don't think shoplifting is a habit of Ifrit's #she's far too responsible #but I think she passed by it one day while visiting Silence and said #'i feel i'm legally entitled to whatever I want from here actually' #and she was right!

[saphushia]

|| part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4 coming soon... ||

man sabo really thought he'd get away from ace that easy, huh? well tough shit buddy you just got the attention of one of the most stubborn men on the seas. i do wonder how this'll play out now that sabo's cornered... hehe >;3

textless versions below the cut for those who want to look at. pictures <3

(skipped page 5 due to. y'know. it not having any dialogue)

#see this is why i don't give estimations on when updates will come #because literally 3 days ago someone asked when part 2 was coming and i said at least a week or so cause i only had 1 page done #and then i just got in the grove and cranked out 3 1/2 pages in 2 days dfkghsdjkf #consistant workflow? what's that lol #warlord!ace au #one piece #sabo one piece #sabo the revolutionary #portgas d ace #hmmm koala's here but i don't think enough to tag her #cause she's entirely offscreen #ah well #art #comic #warlord!ace au update #feels wierd to post textless because like. the bubbles are a very important part of the page balance #but i'm also the kind of nerd who likes to look at that sort of thing so i get it akjbdfkgj #i'm posting this so late but whatever. your welcome uhhhh australians? maybe? sdfkbgk #pleaaase let there be no more errors i've corrected like 4 since starting the post and i'm so worried i'll post it and find another

[horse-surgeon-barbie]

maybe we STOP playing house ,, we're not good at it

#rick and morty #rick and morty spoilers #fear no mort #rick sanchez #diane sanchez #beth sanchez #beth smith #amramdoods #this was kinda venty (which is why i didn't post it on main tbh) #but like the idea of beth losing in every possible scenario of this made me feel really bad </3 #like the more i think about the show the worse i feel because it's just this tragic story of how these three people can't fit together ever #like it taught me that maybe some people just should not be parents if your kid is gonna lose THIS much at all times :( #anyway i'm rambling whatever i just needed to post this idk #oh idk if this needs a tw so if it does for anyone just tell me and i'll add it

[awsok]

shin hati — season one character study

introduction in the odyssey, emily wilson / ahsoka, 'master and apprentice' / ahsoka, 'fallen jedi' / so we must meet apart, gabrielle bates & jennifer s. cheng / ahsoka, 'far far away' / between dog and wolf, rené-xavier prinet / ahsoka, 'far far away' / ahsoka, 'dreams and madness' / ahsoka, 'dreams and madness' / camp damascus, chuck tingle / ahsoka, 'the jedi the witch and the warlord' / the sun is also a star, nicola yoon

#shin hati #web weaving #this is kind of incoherent i'm sorry. and the colouring is all over the place. whatever! #anyway shin hati character study! #wolfwren shipping goggles are very much optional but i'll tag it anyway #ahsoka #wolfpack #wolfwren #baylan skoll #ahsoka tano #* #*gif #btw not sure if it's apparent but i do love shin and baylan's dynamic and i think there's real caring in it! #it's just that shin's journey is season one has them growing apart and shin ultimately feeling betrayed by him (at least i think so) #so this reflects that #100 #500 #*weave

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Detectives at the Disco (Elysium)

#disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #harry du bois #“Hail holy queen of the sea -- You're whirling in rags -- You're vast and you're sad.” #I have been taken back by the disco fever and I wanted to draw these guys now that I can...y'know...draw. #I owe a lot to DE honestly. #If it were not for yagrandmapeach's daily disco elysium comics this blog would have never existed. #The idea that I could do lighthearted daily doodles made art feel possible and approachable. That fun was most important! #I was so inspired by their fun style and goofs! I loved the pen on paper look and their stylizations! #I'm still really inspired by them to this day! Peach if you're out there (unlikely)...Thank you for all the art you have shared. #To those who are considering giving DE a try: please be aware of it's many content warnings. #It is dark but also so extremely full of hope and love!!! #it's a murder mystery where you think you're supposed to be finding the culprit but you end up finding....yourself. #Also it has Kim Kitsuragi. The best companion you will ever have in a video game. #And it lets you dress up a stinky old man in whatever clothes he finds lying around. It's great.

[bakudekublogblog]

talking to normal people about mha is always so enlightening because someone told me they didn't like season six and i was like???? THE BIBLE??????? YOU DONT LIKE THE BIBLE??? BAKUGOU KATSUKI RISING?? THE APOLOGY??? THE CHASING AFTER HIM TO FIGHT SHIGARAKI, THE REVEAL KATSUKI HAS BEEN WORRIED ABOUT IZUKU, IZUKU'S FERAL RAGE WHEN KATSUKI IS STABBED, KATSUKI BEING THE ONE TO FIND IZUKU AND THEN THE ONE TO BRING HIM HOME??? YOU DONT ENJOY THE SACRED TEXTS?? and then i'm like oh right not everyone is a fujoshi high on that sweet, sweet bkdk yaoi

#bkdk #bakudeku #it took all of my willpower not to be like my brother in christ i'm a fujo i'm gonna like anything that bkdk appears in #i'm not here for the powerscaling or the pacing or if they should be third years #i tried to say it like “oh lol i know everything that's gonna happen hhaha i am one of the crazies who stays up for leaks” #but i wanted to be like listen man i'm really only here for the homoeroticism idc about whatever it is youre talking about #not that i dont love mha as a whole i think it's got such a fun sandbox world and cast #it just feels like someone being like omg tell me if that new restaurant is good #and i'm like what the fuck i'm in the kitchen doing cocaine with the cooks #i was a waitress i'm allowed to say this #like we are not consuming the same thing #i'm in the goddamn trenches my emotional state depends on how homoerotic mha is gonna be #i'm in the deep underbelly of bkdk hands and soulmates and yearning i dont even know what you're talking about #i like mha an annoying amount #i wanted to be like remember when i came into work skipping and singing that was because we got bkdk sunset/ptsd scene #i'm a little freak goblin dont ask me if it's good i dont care that it's good I CARE THAT ITS MINE but also fuck you its good #it's the best fuck off if you dont like it you arent worthy of it #hori this is why you should give in and make bkdk canon the fujos are the ones who really love you