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sweetbuckybarnes · 4 months

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Who is This? - Bucky x Reader

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: Bucky had a wife during the 40s, she was left heartbroken after the telegram arrived (missing, presumed dead). It's surprising when 80 years later, she was working behind a bar in Madripoor of all places!

Bucky followed Sam and Zemo into a loud bar, he immediately wanted to turn around and go home, why had Zemo demanded he go back to being the Winter Soldier (even if it was one night)?

The sound of heavy drums and guitars also deafened his hearing, a song he had come to learn was The Wild Boy by a band called Duran Duran. A few bartenders and waitresses were walking around, there was only one who stuck out to him - a dark-haired young woman who reminded him too much of his departed wife.

His heart breaks even more, thinking of the woman he had left behind, his girl. The love of his life. Bucky doesn't think he will ever 'get over' her.

The way the young woman walked, carrying a tray of empty glasses (before being tossed an empty bottle by a patron), was so similar to the way his girl walked in the hole-in-the-wall diner she worked in.

She wasn't quick enough to duck under the bar before they got to the door leading upstairs (which was coincidentally next to the bar), Zemo was talking to the bouncer. "Excuse me, gentlemen," the young woman said, squeezing between the back of Zemo and the front of Bucky. Which is when he got a good look at her face.

There she was.

His girl. His wife.

He couldn't even say anything to her, as he was taken upstairs and away from his girl. He could only hope he would be allowed back in at the end of the night to see her.

Y/N Barnes made her way behind the bar, glancing up at the TV where the Kansas City Chiefs were currently playing the Buffalo Bills at Arrowhead Stadium, then down at her phone which showed the live score of the Dodgers game against the San Francisco Giants.

She had been a long-time Dodgers girl, even after she found out they had moved from Brooklyn to Los Angeles.

"Did you see the way he was looking at you?" Yasmine asked, pushing a dry Martini in front of a 26-year-old woman.

Y/N looked up from the glasses she was putting in the dishwasher. "Huh? What are you talking about?"

"One of the men who went upstairs. The way he was looking at you," Yasmine fans her hand for dramatic effect. "I would drop my panties for him in a millisecond."

"Like you don't do that every night."

Yasmine rolled her eyes and served the next half-drunk who had come to the bar.

"Don't listen to her," Anastasia told her, rolling her eyes as Yasmine flirted with her current flavour of the week.

"It's not often I do, darling," Y/N replied, fiddling with Anastasia's curls for a second, before spotting a patron. "What can I get for you, darling?"

He hung off the bar, obviously far too drunk to understand what was going on. "Another beer and your phone number," he slurred.

She shook her head, reaching over and grabbing him another beer. As far as the boss of the bar (whoever that was) was concerned unless they were unconscious- why should you stop serving them? Y/N thought it wasn't right, but no matter how often she voiced this - she was shut down.

She set the beer in front of him and then went to the register to add it to his bill (good thing she currently has his credit card behind the bar).

"Oi, sweet cheeks!" He calls, but Y/N doesn't pay attention looking over at Yasmine and Anastasia with a raised eyebrow. "Sweet cheeks! I asked for your number."

Y/N replied by simply raising her hand proudly displaying her engagement and wedding rings to the drunk. It was only a small diamond (given Bucky worked on the docks before he was deployed), and the plain band she inherited from her great-grandmother.

"What's the matter with that 'un?" He hiccups. "He got you costume jewellery or somethin'?"

Y/N shook her head. "I'm going into the back for a moment," she tells Aidan.

Little did the drunk patron know, all those years ago, this was the date she was handed the telegraph - putting in such blunt words. Her James was missing, they presumed him to be dead. It breaks her heart that they never got to have a proper funeral.

"You alright, honey?" Elizabeth (another one of the waitresses) asked, she had been outside on her break. Elizabeth was the only one who knew her true age and about her James.

"It's the day I found out James was missing," Y/N said, before bursting into more tears.

Elizabeth wrapped Y/N up in a hug, everyone oblivious to the fact that Y/N's presumed dead husband was now running through the bar, flocked by Sam and Zemo, and into the alley behind the bar.

When Bucky was sure Zemo, Sam and Sharon were asleep, he slipped out of the safe house and into the night - determined to find out if the woman he saw in the bar was that of his (presumably? should be?) dead wife.

He eventually made his way to the front door of the bar, the bouncers had long since gone home. He could see lights on in the building and just about make out words being spoken thanks to the Super Soldier serum running through his veins.

He grasped the handle and gave it a push, the door hadn't been locked, as it gave beneath the slight push.

He could see three young women sitting on the bar, a man who was counting the money from the register and another man who was dancing.

The young woman sitting closest to the bar, had golden curls hanging around her head. "Mark, you didn't lock the door!"

The man dancing, Mark, looked over at Bucky, eyes widening when he saw the size of Bucky. "I say we just serve him, then lock the door behind him."

As the bartenders and waitress argued amongst themselves, Bucky's eyes never left the woman in the middle. It looked as if she had been crying. "Babydoll?"

The woman stopped giggling, tipping her head back to normal and looked at him, before dropping her glass as tears welled up in her eyes. "James?"

The curly-haired woman gasped, setting her glass down and giving Y/N a push off the bar.

Bucky held his arms out to catch her as her feet landed on the floor. He couldn't stop looking at her big eyes, he'd always loved her big expressive eyes. He always knew how she was feeling by just a look in her eyes.

"James? Is that you?" Her hand came out slowly, and shakily, as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing in front of her.

"Hi, babydoll," Bucky smiled, tears starting to fall down his cheeks, a heavy sob held tightly in his chest at the moment in time. As soon as her fingers met his skin, Bucky let out a heavy sigh of relief, reaching over and pulling her into his arms. Y/N's arms dug themselves away from his chest and up around his neck before her hand soon started fiddling with his hair.

The couple stood there for a moment, finally finding their slice of peace. Some came barging into the bar, and the dark-haired woman who had been sitting on the other side of Y/N practically demanded Mark lock the door before the Hounds of Baskerville came in.

Y/N was so happy to finally have her James back in her arms, but there was a whirling sound she couldn't let go. "What's that noise?"

Bucky looked from his wife to his arm and back to his bride. "I'll explain everything to you later, but... I lost my arm, and I now have a prosthetic one," he tells her, letting go of her for a moment so he could take his glove off and show her the black and gold Vibranium one he had made.

"Ok, James. It's a good thing you gave me this," she reached beneath her top and pulled a ring out from beneath, hanging from a chain. "Before you were deployed."

Bucky smiled, cupping her face so he could kiss her. Bucky pulled away chuckling a little. "Babydoll, will you please put my ring back on?"

She reached behind her to unclasp the chain, and slid Bucky's band off, "if it doesn't fit we'll get it resized."

"I don't care what size it is, as long as you put my ring back where it belongs," Bucky almost growled, a piece of him falling back into place with the ring back on his finger.

The next morning - Sam, Zemo and Sharon came into the living room, seeing Bucky sleeping on the sofa (Sam was expecting this, after being told by Steve), however, there was a lump lying next to Bucky they didn't recognise.

Sam slowly makes his way over, gently easing down the thick blanket lying over Bucky and the lump.

Lying there, practically on top of the 'bionic staring machine' was a young woman.

"Did he somehow pick up a girl?" Sam whispered. Sam and Sharon were trying to be quiet - however, Zemo (who didn't care) started clattering around the kitchen, causing Bucky to wake up in a start, which then caused the young woman to look up with tired owl-like eyes.

"What the hell is going on?" Bucky nearly demanded, keeping his arms wrapped around his companion.

Sam raised his eyebrow. "I could ask you the same question, Barnes?" Sam looked at the young woman in Bucky's arms. "Who is this?"

Bucky looked down at her, Sam watched as a smile grew on his face. "This is Y/N. Y/N Barnes. My wife."

#bucky fic #bucky barnes x reader #james buchanan barnes #bucky x reader #sam wilson #sharon carter #baron zemo #takes place in the falcon and the winter soldier #this had been going around in my head for DAYS!!!#1k #2k

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waitimcomingtoo · 3 years

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Give Yourself a Try

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader enemies to lovers

Synopsis: you and Peter hate each other, which becomes a problem when you’re given a group project

Part two and three

Masterlist

“Good morning Ned.” You kindly greeted as you took your seat in front of Peter in your first period physics class.

“Morning Y/n.” Ned said back, gearing up for what he knew was coming.

“I really like your makeup today, Y/n.” Peter smiled as he leaned forward in his seat. “Is it hard balancing your schoolwork with your job at the circus?”

“Not at all.” You smiled sweetly at him as you turned around. “I could get you a job there if you’d like. We’ve been needing something small to feed to the lions between shows. You’d be perfect.”

“Small? Darling, you must be mistaken.” Peter kept a sickly sweet grin on. “I’m bigger than your boyfriend of the week over there.”

“Silly goose.” You scrunched your nose at him. “Harry Osborn is not my boyfriend. And just so you know, steroids are really bad for you. I’m worried about your well being.”

“I’m not on steroids.” Peter hissed, dropping the act. “Stop trying to start that rumor.”

“Why not?” You shot back. “You had no trouble spreading the rumor that I was the one who killed Herbie the hamster when we all know it was you who left the door open after cleaning his cage.”

“Are you kidding me? That was fifth grade.” He whispered harshly.

“I will never forget it.” You snapped back.

“Ahem.” The teacher cleared her throat as she stared at you and Peter with an annoyed expression. This was an everyday occurrence in her class, and any other class you had with Peter. You hated each other and everyone knew it. You and Peter stopped arguing and slumped in your seats, giving each other one last look of disdain.

“Instead of a final exam this semester, I’ll be giving you a final project.” The teacher continued. “You’ll be working with one other student.”

“Nice. We can finally present our work on quantum physics.” Peter excitedly high fived Ned.

“Can you guys reschedule your virgin convention for later?” You asked seriously. “I’m trying to listen.”

“Because of the disappointing grades on the last project, I will be assigning your partners.” The teacher went on.

“Don’t worry.” Peter whispered to Ned again. “We could still end up together. We got an A last time so she knows we work well together.”

“We got an A last time.” You mimicked his voice and moved your hand like a puppet.

“Yeah. An A.” Peter said as he leaned forward in his seat. “You know, like your bra size.”

“What did you just say to me?” You snapped as you whipped around. He had on his infamous shit eating grin that you hated.

“Young man, can you please stop interrupting our conversation?” He said as he held up a hand. Your jaw dropped at the insult, face growing warm with anger. You decide not to give him the satisfaction of an insult exchange and turned around in your seat. Your teacher began to list off the partners for the projects.

“Leeds, Stacy.” She called out. “You’ll be working together.”

“Sorry, man. But also, not sorry man.” Ness frown quickly turned into a smile. “Gwen, over here!”

“Aw.” You snickered as you turned around on your chair. “I feel bad for whoever gets stuck with you now. That poor, unfortunate soul.”

“Parker. L/n. You’ll be working together.”

“What?” You and Peter screamed in unison. You gave each other an angry look before looking at your teacher in protest.

“You two are always holding up my class and I’m tired of it.” She held up a hand. “This project will teach you how to finally get along and stop disrupting me while I teach.”

“Mrs. Avery, with all due respect, I can feel myself getting more disruptive already.” You told her.

“I think that’s your STD.” Peter mumbled.

“You two need to learn how to be professional and amicable.” She ignored your protest. “You won’t always like your peers. But you will always have to collaborate with them at some point.”

“I understand that.” You assured her. “But if we do this project together, my fist is going to collaborate with Peters face.”

“That’s a threat.” Peter piped up. “I’d like to file a report.”

“And I’d like to take that report and shove it up your-“

“Enough.” Mrs. Avery cut you off. “You will be working together and that is final.”

You both shrunk in your seats, fuming with anger over the teachers decision. You didn’t cause any more disruptions throughout the class and quickly left once the bell rang.

Peter saw you at your locker, which was coincidentally next to his locker, spraying some perfume on.

“Darling!” Peter exclaimed as he stood next to you. “So good to see you! You know how much I love when you hog all the locker space and make the entire hallways smell like perfume.”

“Why, thank you.” You touched your hand to your heart. “As I’m sure you know, some of us prefer to smell like things other than Neosporin and baby powder. After all, that’s your signature scent and I’d just hate to step on your toes.”

“I didn’t know. Thank you for opening your gigantic mouth and telling me!” Peter said through a toothy grin.

“Oh, Peter.” You laughed airily. “You’re very welcome, you sad sack of shit.”

“Classy.” Peter faked a smile as he opened his locker. “Do you want to come over to my house after school to work on the project? I live walking distance from here.”

“What? No.” You scoffed. “You’re not getting me to a secondary location. We’ll work in the library.”

“Actually, we won’t, because it’s closed for maintenance.” He replied with a tight smile.

“I wish you were closed for maintenance.” Yoh grumbled as you zipped up your bag.

“Hilarious.” He fake laughed loudly. “Are you coming over or not?”

“Not.” You said in disgust. “I don’t know you or your parents. You might try to kill me as a part of some Parker family cult ritual.”

“My parents are dead.” He told you, unamused. “It’s just me and my aunt.”

“Is your aunt a cult leader?” You asked.

“No.” He groaned.

“Cult member?”

“No. All she does is cheat at cross world puzzles and shop at Whole Foods.” He said.

“So you lied.” You slammed your locker and looked at him. “She’s in the Whole Foods cult.”

“Can you try not to be difficult for two minutes, please? We need to get this project done.”

“Jokes on you, Parker.” You folded your arms. “Difficult is my lowest setting.”

“Ooo. Scary.” He mocked you. “What’s your highest? Because I’m pretty sure I saw it last Tuesday when your backpack got stuck on the door handle and you decided to blame me.”

“I know that was your fault. And I go from difficult to hooligan to the step mom from Parent Trap.” You shrugged.

“And they said women aren’t funny.” Peter replied as he slapped his knee. You raised an eyebrow at him, judging him for his material.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled.

“You’re gonna be sorry.” You told him. “Where do you live again?”

“Waking distance from here. I said that less than five minutes ago.” He rolled his eyes at you.

“Well I didn’t hear that because I tune you out when you speak. You know, like most people do.” You said sweetly.

“Wow, you’re so funny.” Peter said sarcastically. “If I meet you here at the end of the day, will you come home with me?”

“Fine.” You huffed. “I’ll go home with you. But if I start detecting any cult shit going on, I’m leaving.”

“Fine by me.” He scoffed. “I’ll see you later.”

“Are you ready to go?” Peter asked after the last bell had rang. You shouldered your backpack and shut your locker, feeling unusually anxious around him. You could deal with Peter for 40 minutes at a time when all you did was trade insults. Something about walking to his home together and spending time alone knocked the confidence right out of you.

“I’m ready.” You nodded.

“What, no insult?” He asked. “No mocking of my voice?”

“We were assigned each other as partners so we could learn to be civil, right?” You shrugged. “I guess I’m just mature enough to give it a try.”

“There she is.” Peter smiled as you began to walk in the direction of his apartment. “There’s my girl.”

You looked to the side when you heard him say this, unsure of how it made you feel. You often called each other pet names ironically, but this felt different. There was a change in the dynamic between the two of you and it was clouding your judgment.

You let Peter do all the talking as you walked home, thankful that he lived so close to the school. He spewed out ideas for the project the entire elevator ride up and didn’t stop until you were standing outside his bedroom door.

Peter stopped talking and opened the door, gesturing for you to go inside. You made a face at him before walking, staying in one spot as he shut the door and sat down. You were frozen as you looked around his room, not liking how human it made him. He had notes from classes you didn’t have with him strewn around and an open first aid kit on his desk.

“You can sit.” He chuckled when he noticed how stiff you were.

“I’m scared to.” You admitted.

“Why?”

“I don’t know.” You answered honestly. Something about sitting on this boys bed with him seemed finalizing, like you’d be opening a door you couldn’t close.

“Just sit down.” He repeated. “I didn’t rig the place with boobytraps, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“That’s what someone who rigged the place with booby traps would say.” You replied as you took a hesitant seat on his bed.

“There. Isnt that nice?” He asked sarcastically.

“No.” You said immediately. “Am I the first girl to ever sit on your bed?”

“Psh. No.”

“I’ll take that as a yes ma’am.” You mumbled.

“Whatever.” He replied. “What do you want to do the project on?”

“How about micropenises?” You suggested. “You won’t even have to do any research.”

“Haha. So funny.” He rolled his eyes. “You are so annoying it’s actually impressive.”

“Please.” You laughed. “You so have a crush on me.”

“What?” His entire face went red. “No I don’t.”

“No I don’t.” You mimicked his voice. “Yes you do. That’s why you’re up my ass all the time.”

“That makes no sense.” He scoffed.

“It makes total sense.” You insisted. “You know I’ll never like you back, so you made me hate you. That way, you still get to talk to me all the time. Genius, really. I applaud you.”

“That’s a nice little fantasy you’ve created for yourself. Is that what you tell yourself to help you fall asleep?” He teased you.

“Yep.” You smiled brightly. “Right after I finger blast myself to the thought of you in your Catholic schoolboy sweaters.”

“Oh my God.” His cheeks turned even redder at your inappropriate joke.

“And they said women aren’t funny.” You used his words from earlier.

“They were right.” He said, making you laugh.

“God, I love it when you talk down to me.” You fanned yourself. “Can you tell me how to change a tire?”

Peter began to laugh as well, looking at you as you both laughed. You quickly stopped laughing when you realized you just gave him a genuine smile and looked away.

“Do you want to do the project on tensile strength?” You suggested to break the tension. “I know you’re weirdly into that.”

“How’d you know?” He wondered.

“You almost popped a boner when we talked about in last month.” You teased him. “It’s just rope, dude.”

“It’s not just rope. It’s the force-“

“-the force required to pull something until it breaks. I know.” You finished his sentence. “I’m smart too, you know.”

“Oh.” He was dumbfounded that you knew something he was interested in. “I didn’t know.”

“Yeah.” You nodded. “Women use brain sometime. Woman say smart thing like man.”

Peter laughed again, realizing you were actually kind of funny when you wanted to be.

“I’m not a misogynist, you know.” Peter said after a beat. “You don’t have to make jokes like that. I may not like you, but I respect you.”

“You respect me?” You raised a skeptical eyebrow at him.

“I respect all women. The strongest person I know is my Aunt. Plus, I’ve still never met anyone who was as smart as my mom. I wouldn’t be half the man I was if it weren’t for the women who raised me.” He shrugged. “But it would be ignorant and naive of me to only respect woman who are related to me in some way. So I respect all of them unless they give me a reason not to.”

“Have I given you a reason not to?” You batted your eyelashes at him.

“Not yet.” He chuckled to himself. “You’re annoying, but you’re brilliant. I know you would never admit this, but we’re basically the same person. You’re just more extroverted so you have more friends and popularity. And you’re smart but you don’t make that your whole personality, so it impresses more people when you let your intelligence show.”

Your body language shifted when you realized he was actually a nice guy. He clearly paid attention to you and was impressed by what he saw. You didn’t say anything, so Peter kept going.

“People lean in to listen when you start speaking instead of tuning you out.” He brought up your insult from earlier, and you felt bad. You didn’t realize he admired you in any way and you felt guilty for always teasing him. Peter’s kept his eyes down, playing with his fingers to distract himself.

“You’re…you’re kind of every thing I wanted to be.” He said quietly. You smiled softly at him, but he didn’t see it. It was the first time you had a nice moment with Peter, and you didn’t hate it. You could tell he was beginning to panic for sharing so much, so you reached forward and tilted his chin up to look at you. His wide eyes met yours and you gave him a small smile.

“How did your parents die?” You asked quietly, immediately ruining the moment.

“Damn.” Peter pulled away with a shocked laugh. “When was your first period?”

“All right. I get your point.” You rolled your eyes. “That was a little abrupt.”

“You’re telling me.” He teased. You sat in silence for a moment, neither of you sure where to go from there. You knew Peter was still processing you touching his face, so you talked first.

“My parents are dead too.” You said without looking up at him.

“They are?” He asked, scooting a little closer to you on the bed.

“Yeah.” You looked up and gave him a sad smile. “But if you think we’re gonna take a turn and fall in love because we have similar trauma, you’re wrong. I can’t stand orphans.”

“But you’re an orphan.” He reminded you.

“And?”

“Never mind.” He shook his head. “I have a feeling I won’t be getting through to you.”

“Probably not.” You agreed. “Tell me more, though. Did your parents die doing something cool?”

“I don’t really know.” He shrugged. “It was a plane crash. That’s all I’ve been told.”

“Oh.” You nodded. “Sounds lame.”

“What?”

“A plane crash?” You raised your eyebrow. “That’s so boring. Yawn.”

“Excuse me?” He laughed in shock again. “Fine. How did your parents die?”

“Firefighters.” You said proudly. “Died saving three children.”

“Wow.” Peter sat back, stumped.

“Yeah.” You nodded. “I was one of them.”

“Seriously?” His eyes widened as he fought the urge to hold your hand.

“No. I’m fucking with you.” You began to laugh as he let out a groan.

“Why would you do that to me?” He whined. “You had me, for a minute there.”

“What can I say? I’m an actor.” You flipped your hair ostentatiously.

“What actually happened?” He wondered. You stopped smiling and bit your bottom lip.

“Drunk driver.” You told him. He didn’t fight the urge this time and reached over to take your hand in his. You stared at your interlocked hands, wondering if you should pull away or not. On the one hand, he was your enemy. But that didn’t make his warmth any less inviting.

“I’m sorry.” He said softly. “That must have been really hard on you.”

“You know the feeling, don’t you?” You asked with a sad smile.

“I do.” He nodded. “And I know how much it sucked to not have someone who knew how it felt. You don’t have to feel that way anymore. Neither of us do.”

You opened your mouth to speak but quickly shut it, not wanting to ruin the moment again. The guy holding your hand was not the same guy who sat behind you in physics. This guy was someone you actually liked.

“I might have misjudged you, Peter Parker.” You laughed shyly. “You might not be as unbearable as I remembered.”

“And you might not be the frigid bitch I thought you were.” He matched your tone.

“Watch it.” You warned.

“Sorry.” He mumbled.

“You were right.” You said after a beat. “We are pretty much the same person. I never realized that before.”

“Maybe that’s why we don’t get along.” He shrugged, rubbing soft circles into your hand.

“I’d be willing to give it a try, if you were.” You said sheepishly. “Who knows? I might just like you.”

“You want to give this a try?” He asked, eyes lighting up in excitement.

“Why not?” You shrugged. “What do I have to lose?”

“Okay.” He nodded eagerly. “Then we’ll try.”

“Cool.” You smiled.

“Cool.” He said before leaning in for a kiss. Your eyes widened as his fluttered shut, making you realize you were on different pages. His lips made contact with yours for a few seconds before you pushed him off.

“What the hell are you doing?” You asked as you covered your mouth with your hand.

“Kissing you?” He asked in confusion as hurt flashed in his eyes.

“Why the hell would you do that?” You exclaimed, still in shock. You got off the bed and backed away from him, trying to process what just happened.

“You said we were giving it a try!” He was shouting now too, but not out of anger. “I thought we were finally admitting that we like each other.”

“I meant giving friendship a try! I never said anything about a relationship.” You shouted. You quieted down when you saw the upset look on his face. “You... you like me?”

“I thought it was obvious.” He said quietly. “I-I thought you knew. You said it before and I just…I thought you knew.”

“Peter, I was joking when I said all that stuff.” You calmed down and sat back on his bed. “I didn’t actually think you liked me.”

“Oh.” He blinked a few times before looking down. “I…I do.”

“Peter, I’m sorry.” You reached for his hand again but his withdrew it.

“No, it’s my fault.” He shook his head and got off the bed. “I misunderstood the situation.”

“Peter, wait.” You caught him by the wrists and pulled him back down to the bed. He sat down again but looked anywhere but at you. You could see that his eyes were glassy so you put a hand on his face.

“You were right.” His voice wavered. “I did like you and I did think you’d never like me back. That’s why I always tease you. I just wanted you to talk to me.”

“Pete.” You whispered, rubbing his cheekbone with your thumb.

“I’m sorry. I really don’t want to be here right now. I’ll email you my part of the project and-“

You cut him off by wrapping your hand around the back of his neck and pulling him into a kiss. You both had your eyes closed this time and it lasted much longer. Your lips moved against his slowly and you could feel how inexperienced he was. Even so, it was perfect. You pulled away after a minute and looked into his eyes, feeling better now that there were no traces of sadness in them.

“You kissed me.” He said, dumbfounded.

“I can’t know I don’t like you back if I never give you a chance.” You shrugged as you withdrew your hand from his face.

“Well what did you decide?” He asked curiously. You puckered your lips and tilted your head, staring at him as if you were making a decision.

“I still think you’re super annoying.” You concluded.

“Okay.” Peter nodded.

“But it’s an annoying I’m willing to put up with.” You decided as you slipped your hand back into his. Peter broke out into a smile and nodded again.

“Okay.”

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#peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker enemies to lovers #peter parker fluff #peter parker angst #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #marvel #spiderman

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serenityseventeen · 3 years

Text

Love & Letter: To The Thirteen Boys I've Loved Before

The Twelfth Letter

----------------

To: Chwe Hansol/Vernon

From: Y/N

Hello, Vernon.

It hasn't been that long. Actually, as I'm writing this letter, we had our first kiss a few days ago.

I guess I must have the worst timing when it comes to love or just falling in love in general. Maybe I took way too long getting to know you. Maybe I didn't believe in myself enough and I let the curse take effect again.

I told you about how I had the worst luck with love. During all of my time in graduate school, I haven't fallen in love again, but now, I guess I have fallen in love with you.

I don't know what it is that made me realize what I had for you was love, but from the moment we met, I felt a spark in my chest.

That day when I had my ears plugged with white headphones, looking down at my phone with music blasted high, you grabbed me by the arm and pulled me to your chest. You also had headphones on.

I guess that left a great first impression.

You saved me from a dashing motorbike that could have crashed into me and for the first time in years, I felt my heart race. With your hand holding my back, you asked me if I was okay, but I couldn't hear a thing.

Then, you removed my headphones and brought me back to reality when I was having a daze.

“Are you okay?” You asked as you let go of my body. “You should watch where you're going, always.”

I was almost too caught up in your handsome visuals to say anything. Your eyes were such a beautiful brown and your foreign-like visuals were mesmerizing. In the end, I just nodded and thanked you for saving me.

As you were walking down the street, about to plug in your headphone piece that fell, I was still able to feel my heart thumping. I brought my hand to my chest and I knew this undeniable feeling.

That's when I called out to you and told you that I'd repay you.

Liking you brought back the feeling of having a youthful crush. I felt like I could fall in love again. It felt like I was returning to my youth and I was able to recover all those broken love stories with yours. Of course, I knew I was just getting ahead of myself.

I didn't expect anything from us. Our career paths and majors were similar but also different. We didn't get to see each other often and when we did, it was usually always coincidental; at the coffee shop nearby, or library, or the burger place nearby campus... It was just like that for us.

We didn't start hanging out until I asked you out to the movies. Well, not really ‘asking you out’, I just asked to hang out as repayment, since you saved me from getting hit by a bike. I remembered that you liked to watch movies.

I guess that would be named our first date for me. It was fun, sad, and scary, thrilling, and fun, and I could tell that you enjoyed the movie a lot. It was awkward being at the movie theater with you at first, but the moment we sat down, you talked to me casually, making me feel comfortable when I was the one who should have made you.

You acted like yourself during the entire movie and seeing that side of you made my heart race. You laughed and clapped out loud. At times, you seemed to be an extrovert who was confident, and at times, you seemed to be a quiet introvert. Your personality baffled me in a good way but I know one thing for sure.

You give the best reactions.

Watching you laugh at the movie was enough to make me almost laugh as well. Before I knew it, I was enjoying it just as much as you did. I think the fact that I was with you left an impact on my happiness during that movie.

Vernon, you're a fun guy. We started hanging out more often after the movies. Sometimes we would even grab lunch together, go buy books, chill at the beach watching the waves, stay cool at a pool, etc, whenever we had free time. We also talked a lot with each other.

I liked that we talked a lot with each other. I had only a few friends that I could talk to but with you, I felt like I could tell you anything. You just had this trustworthy aura floating around you at all times and I knew I could trust you.

You seemed to tell me everything too. I'm glad that I could vent out my anger to you and you would always be willing to listen to me and give me advice. I'm also glad that I was able to hear all of your problems and help you with them too.

I remember a day, when we were walking in the park while drinking soda, you told me about your insecurities. It was the first time you ever brought it up. Usually, we didn't talk about anything too personal like that - just our families, work, friends, hobbies. Yet, you were able to tell me about what you were insecure about.

To me, Vernon, you seemed like a perfect guy that I didn't even know you had such insecurities. I don't want to write them down in this letter to you just in case someone reads it, so I won't. I'm glad I was able to make you feel better about your insecurities though. I just always remembered your insecurity and complimenting that part of your body made me feel happier too. I can still remember that smile of yours when I complimented it. It was so bright, shining, and warm.

Since you were able to tell me such things, I felt that I could tell you such things about myself too. I had many insecurities and as a person, I wasn't satisfied at all with how I looked. To me, everything about my body seemed like a flaw.

Thank you, Vernon. I can still remember that scolding tone of yours when you responded to my confessions.

“What are you talking about? Why are you even insecure about that? You are literally- your skin is perfect! Your hair- it's not oily at all?! And your fingers- I mean, they are so delicate, how could you even be insecure of them?”

I wanted to say the same thing to you. How could you be insecure about that one thing? To me, you were complete perfection with imperfections, and it was alright to be that way.

You took my hand and that's when I noticed your long and large hand. It was much bigger than but since it was the first time our hands were up against each other, I could finally compare the size; which revealed to be strikingly different, unsurprisingly.

Vernon, you were like a therapist. Every week that I spent with you, my feelings began to grow. I'm sure I loved you but at the same time, this feeling that I feel for you seems to be like friendship. I don't know if I love you as a lover or a friend.

I guess spending so much time with you made me realize what a great guy you are as a friend and potential boyfriend. I would be glad to keep you as both, it doesn't matter which one. I just wish that I could keep you by my side; though it's quite obvious that being friends is the more obvious chance.

A few days ago, we kissed each other.

I know you know which day that is because it's your birthday. You held a small celebration and invited me over. Of course, I wasn't expecting much but since it was your birthday, I decided, “Why not get dolled up for it?”

After the birthday party, we were both a bit drunk. I'm pretty sure I was drunker than you were so the memories I write down may be blurry.

Everyone else had left except us. The restaurant was closing and since I was drunk, it was a bit hard for me to walk. I managed to get out the front door with the help of your hand holding my arm but when I took a few steps outside of the restaurant, my feet finally turned to jelly.

Like a hero, you caught me with your large hands. You had pulled me with your hand and scooped my waist with your other hand.

Trust me, even though I was drunk, I was able to feel emotions and I was a tiny bit sober enough to think properly.

Standing in front of the restaurant in our cliche but romantic position, it just felt like the right moment for the drunk me. We were holding eye contact and though I couldn't tell what you were thinking, it seemed like you felt it was the perfect time too.

That's why I wrapped my arms around your shoulders and pulled your face closer to mine until our lips were gently mashed. My heart was pounding but I couldn't distinguish whether it was from nervousness or enjoyment.

I just remember your warm breath and the strange sweet taste of wine lingering on your tongue as you kissed me. I'm sure the kiss was a bit sloppy but to me, it was passionate and sweet, even though I was a bit out of it. You had your hands tracing up and down my waist and hips while my hands were digging the back of your hair, my chest pressed against yours.

After that, I think you took me home.

After your birthday, you told me that you'd want to stay friends, though it seemed like you were a bit unsure of what you were saying. I was fine with that decision though because, after the kiss, I sort of felt that it wasn't right for us to date. It seemed like to us, friends were the best we could be. You and I could lean on each other.

Kissing that night on your birthday was probably just a one-time thing for you and me.

I'm glad that we can stay friends though. Even after that kiss, you're acting normal around me, like we're still friends, which I'm thankful for.

Up until now, I'm pretty sure I loved you. Love is a confusing topic to me. I still love you.

I've loved you romantically.

And now, I'll love you as a friend.

I'm thankful enough for that.

Sincerely,

Y/N.

-----------------

7/13/21 - 8:40 pm

a/n: Vernon Chwe... Gosh why does he look so good in that photo!? + I have a plan/general plot for a book but I am having trouble deciding the male lead... I plan for it to be a fanfiction but I'm stuck on the male main character.

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lifeofstar · 3 years

Text

NIGHTMARE [the devil judge] x oc

Part 01

Kim Yuna hated men.

She despised the way they controlled society and belittled the women within it. The way they expected women to do whatever they want and whenever they want. How they stare and indulge themselves, creating wicked fantasies in their minds.

Of course, she didn't hate all men. There were a few exceptions in her life, such as Kim Gaon, her junior in high school. She was two years older than him and they coincidentally shared the same family name - Kim. He was a decent man (boy in her eyes) and was like a younger brother to her. They took care of each other, like a mother bear and baby cub.

Some would say that she was doing a man's job. But not Gaon. He respected her and always pushed her to follow her dreams. The same went for their mutual friend Suhyeon, who was also a junior and just like Yuna's younger sister. They both were doing a man's job according to society. Both were police officers. Yuna and Suhyeon worked in the same unit with Yuna being a senior detective whilst Suhyeon was an inspector. Whilst Yuna ranked higher than Suhyeon, they both worked as partners and were stuck to the hip constantly.

Yuna adored Gaon and Suhyeon. She adored them like siblings and she was thankful every day that she had met them.

So, on a surprisingly sunny day, Yuna and Suhyeon were meeting with Gaon for some morning coffee before his first day of work as a new judge. The three of them stood outside Yuna's car and leaned on it, comfortably sipping on their coffee.

"Noona, do you think I'll do well?" Gaon asked Yuna, biting his lip.

Suhyeon nudged his shoulder whilst Yuna patted his back.

"Of course you will, Gaon," She said, smiling, "everyone will love you."

"Unni is right, Gaon," Suhyeon agreed, "everyone will love you."

"Yeah, you'd know wouldn't you?" Yuna muttered under her breath, a smirk tugging at her lips.

"Shut up!" Suhyeon whispered, slapping Yuna's arm.

Gaon laughed and shook his head, sipping his coffee again. "I hope so."

"You'll be working with Kang Yohan," Suhyeon said. "He's a king to the public."

Gaon hummed. "I suppose. I'm interested to see what he's like at work."

Yuna watched Gaon and Suhyeon interact with each other like two birds in a tree. She smiled. It was times like these when she missed her mother the most. Losing her mother in that fire was the worst thing that happened to her. Much worse than what happened at the church that day. Nothing was worse than losing your own mother. She had woken up in the hospital, walked out of her bed, with strength she didn’t know she had, to find her mother. In the hallway of the hospital, a nurse found her and told her the news that her mother had passed away. Yuna had fainted from the shock.

Shaking her head, she tried to rid her mind of these thoughts.

“Time to go,” Yuna announced, glancing down at her watch, “it’s almost 8 am.”

Gaon nodded, looking down at his watch and agreeing with her.

Suhyeon smiled at Gaon. “Good luck.”

“Yeah, kid, good luck,” Yuna told him, ruffling his hair and grinning.

“Thanks,” Gaon said, rolling his eyes.

*******

Soon enough, they all made their way to their work lives. Suhyeon and Yuna got a call on the way for additional backup at a robbery. As they arrived, they noticed the culprits running across the street. There were two of them and they decided to go separate ways as soon as Yuna and Suhyeon stepped out of their car.

“You take right, I’ll take left,” Yuna told Suhyeon, running in the direction of the second robber.

“Got it,” Suhyeon confirmed.

Yuna’s legs burned as she raced after the criminal. Like lightning, she kept a close distance and pulled out her baton as she ran. The robber hit a dead end and Yuna smirked as she reached him. He put his fists up, his eyes burning with determination. She didn’t move though, simply stared at him with venom in her eyes.

The first move was his. He moved to punch her.

Wrong move, buddy. She dodged his fist easily.

“Finally,” Yuna muttered, lifting her baton up. “Everything I do from this point onwards is considered self-defence.”

He came at her again, this time with a kick. With one swift movement, she used her baton to hit his legs out of her way. The robber fell onto the floor, visibly in pain.

Yuna smiled. “Good day, criminal. I’m Detective Kim. You’re under arrest for robbery and assault.”

She informed the rest of the officers on her radio that she had caught him. Taking out her handcuffs, she cuffed the robber roughly before reading him his rights and then proceeding to take off his ski mask.

“You’re just a kid.” Yuna stated, looking down at a maybe sixteen-year-old child.

“Yeah and? You’re like 40.” He retorted.

“I’ll have you know, I’m in my 30s.” Yuna snapped. “And shut up. You have the right to remain silent, remember?”

The kid grumbled something under his breath.

“What was that?” Yuna asked.

“I hope I have Kang Yohan as my judge on my trial.” He said louder, signalling behind Yuna with his eyes.

She looked behind her and saw the big screen on the building replaying the press conference that she had missed yesterday. Of course, Chief Judge Kang Yohan. Yuna dragged the kid up roughly so that they were standing. She eyed the judge closely, watching the way his lips moved as he spoke and the way he stood with such a calmness that Yuna had never seen before. Or perhaps she had. Her inner subconscious has felt that calmness somewhere before. And those eyes. Those eyes felt familiar…

Blinking, she snapped out of her thoughts, realising she had a criminal to escort and process back at the station.

"Whatever," she muttered, tearing her eyes away from the screen.

*****

Back at the station, after having processed the young kid, Yuna sat at her desk. She was putting together the pieces from the robbery today and writing up her report. They still had some investigating to do as both of the young robbers had been ordered by someone else to commit the crimes - the boys wouldn't say anything further. Sighing, Yuna thought carefully about which crime bosses across Korea specialised in using young kids for their criminal activities. She made a list, getting out of her seat to go to Suhyeon with her theories.

"Hey Suhyeon-"

But she didn't get a chance to finish before Suhyeon cut her off.

"It's starting!"

"What's starting?"

"The live court - Gaon is there, remember?"

Oh yes, Yuna remembered, Gaon would be appearing on the live court show. She facepalmed. How could she forget?

She turned on her phone and went into the app, sitting back down in her seat. As she watched, she realised she was staring at Kang Yohan again. She was hanging onto every word he was saying, watching him like a hawk, admiring him and the way his voice drew everyone in. Throughout the session, she kept avoiding his eyes. Something about him felt so familiar, so calm. Yet she could not think why.

As it ended, Yuna sat staring at the blank screen for several seconds in deep thought. The trial itself had drawn her in yes, but the way Kang Yohan illustrated the whole thing was flawless.

The corner of her lips lifted up in disbelief, unable to believe that she was impressed by him.

Well played, Kang Yohan, she thought, well played.

prologue (previous)

part 02 (next)

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bloodelves88 · 3 years

Text

Fundamental Game Design Problems with Genshin Impact

I’ve been playing Genshin Impact since its launch, and I’ve had some sort of a love-hate relationship with it. On one hand, I love the world, the characters, the story, and how it feels so carefree and beautiful. On the other hand, I really hate its leveling system, its gacha system, and the time-reward ratio of its activities.

I find that there are quite a few issues in Genshin Impact that just doesn’t make sense from a game design perspective. These issues make the player want to play less, or avoid features in the game that should not be avoided, and instead should be encouraged to explore. Coincidentally, the very same game design issues do encourage players to spend real money on the game, so I guess that’s the crux of the issue.

Issue 1: The Resin System

If you play Genshin Impact, we all saw this issue coming, didn’t we?

Resin is basically the stamina/energy that you would know in other gacha games. The problem is that there’s just too little resin, which leads to almost every other problem that I’m going to talk about later.

In short, there’s just too little resin given to the player. The amount of time to recover resin is just too long for the amount of rewards given in exchange.

In Genshin Impact, you can spend resin on ley lines (random fights in the open world that give either character experience or money), domains (instanced fights that give you artifact equipment, or weapon ascension materials), and open world bosses (gives you character ascension materials). Nothing wrong with that, so far so good.

What if I told you that you need to spend approximately 5 hours worth of resin in order to get the rewards from a world boss, and that boss might not even drop the material? Just this past week alone, I spent about 5 days worth of resin on just one boss and nothing else, and I came out with no high tier materials at all. On the bright side, the game does allow you to combine lower tier materials into higher tier materials. This still doesn’t sound too bad... but read on to issue 2 and 3 to see why this becomes a problem that snowballs.

Another strange point is that the weekly quests require you to spend more resin than you can recover. This pretty much means that you must spend real money in order to complete the quest. Totally broken.

Issue 2: The World Level System

In Genshin Impact, there is something called a “World Level”. This determines the level of the monsters in the world, which in turn determines the quality of the loot that they drop.

The problem is, the world level increases as your adventure rank increases. Your adventure rank increases when you do pretty much anything in the game. Completing quests, opening chests, completing domains, defeating bosses, and completing ley lines all give you adventure rank experience.

This means that you will be kept on your toes, and you cannot afford to spend your resin on things you do not need. God forbid that you end up with a high world level with weak characters. You’re pretty much dead if that happens.

I’ve not found myself in such a situation yet, and I have no idea if it’s possible to break out of such an impasse. Too weak to farm materials, and no way to get around that. Big oof.

It’s strange, because this is such a chill and calming game, but the system behind it is anything but.

Ever since I hit adventure rank 30, I’ve avoided doing any random quests that I come across in the open world (game design problem: your players are avoiding quests). I simply do not want to level up! I’m scared of leveling up (game design problem: your players do not want to level up).

Now, why does this happen? The resin system! The player is just not able to farm enough to become strong enough to handle a higher world level.

There is a minor breather for this though. Every 10 adventure rank levels starting at level 25, there’s a trial that you have to pass before the world level will go up. This gives the you an infinite amount of time to catch up and farm whatever you want, and the world level will not go up. However, you will still earn adventure rank experience, which will all be added once you’ve passed the trial. I skipped level 26-30 this way and jumped two world levels because of this. Luckily, I was prepared enough to handle it.

You might think that this trial is there to counter this problem of being too weak in the world level you’re in. Nope. The boss (electro hypostasis) in the trial is one of the easiest bosses in the game due to a lack of an enrage timer (DPS check) and it has very obvious attacks that are easily dodged. So... it doesn’t gatekeep anything.

Issue 3: The Leveling System

In Genshin Impact, your characters level up using character experience cards. These cards are dropped from chests, and are given as rewards from quests or ley lines.

In Genshin Impact, you also control a squad of four characters at a time, and elemental reactions and elemental advantages are a big part of the combat system. So, you aren’t just going to be able to get away with training one character, and I’d say that you would need about 6 characters to cover all your bases.

I’ve personally leveled up two characters to 70, one to 60, two to 50, and one to 40. And I’m all out of character experience cards.

The problem? The resin system! Your main source of character experience cards in the late game would be from ley lines, and this requires resin if you want to gain rewards from it. But wait! I also need resin to farm weapon ascension materials and character ascension materials! Well, too bad. Welcome to Genshin Impact.

The fundamental game design issue from this is that it prevents the player from experimentation. You would think, “Hmm, what would character X be like if I used her in this squad? Oh wait, I don’t have the resources to level her up anyway”. You might think that’s fine, because you might think that you could just go farm some resources to level this character up and try her out. But remember issue 2? Your world level might go up while you’re doing this, which will make all content more difficult to clear. Is there really time for experimentation? What if the character doesn’t work out? Then your main squad hasn’t gained any strength while the world level went up. I guess you’re dead.

I’m not even excited about getting new characters anymore, because I know that all they’ll do is sit in my roster at level 1, and the only time they’ll ever get used is when I send them off to collect materials on expeditions. I have a Venti doing just that. Will I ever be able to train him? Ha! Who knows? Maybe when I’m stuck at adventure rank 45.

So from the start of the game, you have to pick your squad, maybe you’re allowed to deviate and level up two new characters on top of your main four, and that’s it. You got to lock that squad in and never use any other character ever again because you just can’t afford to.

Wut.

Issue 4: The Gacha Rates

In Genshin Impact, the highest rarity (5 star) comes at a 0.6% rate. Compared to other popular gacha games which come in at around 1-2%, the difference is huge.

To me, this alone is already an issue from a design perspective. When it’s too low, it can get people frustrated enough to quit the game (I was planning to, until the last roll I could afford gave me Klee). The amount of money the whales are spending just to get a single character or weapon can easily go into the hundreds or even thousands of dollars.

Another problem that arises from the poor rates is you start to lack important archetypes in your squad. For a long time I lacked a heavy-hitting claymore user (this is important to break shields and rocks), and I also lacked someone good against frost enemies. So I spent all my free gems (six 10 rolls, worth US$180) and finally got Klee, a fire bomb user. The game does give a free claymore user, but I don’t have the resources to train another character (see, resin raises its ugly head again). The game also does give a good free fire character, but she isn’t fiery enough to fight a whole domain of frost enemies.

If Genshin Impact wants to keep its gacha rates low, fine by me. But the game needs to give all players a complete and well-rounded set of characters that can cover all bases. Every element needs to be countered, a healer is needed, and a shield-breaker is needed. And this set of characters need to do the job well. Having complete jokes of a character like Amber is not going to help. Having a difficult to understand/build character like Noelle is not going to help.

-----

I do like this game, and I do want to keep playing it. But sometimes I wonder if I should wait a little and let Mihoyo fix the game before I start playing again.

#genshin impact

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ramblefang · 4 years

Text

Rabbit Town; BNA ep 2

“Previous Post

Preface

My previous (and first) post of these BNA first impressions ended up being more rambly than even I want to be. Most of that was due to me retelling events, which I was actually doing to help me remember what happened in the episode. So instead, I’m going to try just going through the episode again in another tab and using timestamps (which I think is the norm for this sort of thing anyway.) This technically means I’ll be writing down my second impressions, but I’d really prefer my first watch of episodes to not be interrupted every minute by me needing to tab out and write something. I’ll still try to remember and write out my first impressions anyway.

(Hmm, Netflix doesn’t seem to provide a precise timestamp. Guess I’ll just approximate things by mousing over the...runtime...bar thing.)

Cold Open

0:15 Starting off right where the last episode ended: Michiru saying that she’s human.

0:22 Shirou says she’s a tanuki, based on the appearance of her tail. She seems offended by the idea. My best guess is that her reaction has to do with what tanuki are famous for: having huge balls. (Also they’re magical spirits, which may or may not have something to do with the powers Michiru has.)

0:45 The police arrive and it seems Shirou is a known entity. Gives me Batman vibes. Is Shirou a vigilante? And in that way where the police are just used to it by now?

Opening

0:50 The OP starts and I notice the strands of DNA. Makes me think of how Michiru apparently changed species, and also the way there is some pharmaceutical company behind the very existence of Anima-City. Oh, and I just got that “BNA” is basically a pun on DNA.

1:30 Last time I had recalled something about shadowy feral transformations, but it looks like Michiru transforms into something more equine than anything else. (With what I know from later in the episode, she definitely seems to be a shapeshifter, which I think is appropriate for a tanuki.)

1:40 Oh, and there’s still totally something about this vocal melody that reminds me of “Bad Apple.” Admittedly, it’s been years since I actually listened to that song, so maybe I’ll have to go compare them later.

Forms

2:00 A detail spoiled by the OP: apparently beastmen have human forms that they can switch to, yet Michiru can’t. Honestly, it sort of looks like she’s stuck in a halfway state—a kemonomimi for the most part, though with the nose and “mask”

2:10 Shirou appears surprised, and possibly skeptical, about Michiru being unable to switch forms, indicating that it is by far the norm to be able to do so

2:35 Ah, by the way Michiru speaks about it, switching forms seems to be common knowledge even among humans. Shirou says “Quit talking like a human” in response to the idea that they’re always in beast form, which means this is a common human misconception (and this comes up later as well, illustrating how Michiru really comes across as human in little ways).

2:45 Bystanders seem to be paying special attention to Michiru, likely to her form. (This sets up what happens later over her inability to assume a human form)

Cooperative

3:00 A lot about this scene speaks to me as a trans person: someone running tests that “prove” someone’s identity and insisting that what they see on the surface is all there is to the truth

3:35 Michiru says she must be afflicted with a “disease”, reminding me of the worries I had about a pharmaceutical company being behind the city and how there may be a darker purpose involving a “cure.” Unsettlingly, Michiru also isn’t far off from saying that being a beastman—the very existence of beastmen—is itself a disease. (Mind, she doesn’t literally say that, but based on things she says at the end of the episode, it may not be too far off from how she actually feels—right now.)

4:00 Back to trans stuff, this reminds me of how being trans was, as a whole, labeled as “Gender Identity Disorder”, categorized as a mental illness rather than a natural state of being. (Also, I’m currently building a headcanon of Michiru being a trans girl. Not only because of this stuff, but also due to how she reacted to being called a tanuki: I can interpret her as feeling gender incongruence/dysphoria over the big balls thing.)

4:30 Interesting that this is a “cooperative”. Are they technically not part of the government and are more independent than that? Or maybe the term means something else in Japan.

4:40 Again with trans feels. Filling out forms and needing to identify as something you don’t actually see yourself as

4:50 (Didn’t catch that my first time around: different blood types? Wonder if blood harvesting and blood mixing will be a thing. Remembering the kids that were about to be sold off... Might these things be connected?)

(Rather than making things shorter, this is just resulting in me going even more in-depth. Oh well. I guess I’ll just have to deal with it.)

5:10 Probably a bit of an exaggeration that you can’t get back anything stolen from you: says more about how this is a seedier place than the video in episode 1 let on. We sort of got that from Michiru being pickpocketed in the first place, but this lets us know that that wasn’t an irregular occurrence

5:30 (Also didn’t really absorb this my first watch, but it does make sense that Michiru has been sleeping outside while on the run. Doesn’t feel good to think about how she had to spend that time being scared of the humans around her.)

5:40 Kuro is a wonderfully round birb.

6:10 Michiru making the same connected that I made (and that the audience in general is probably expected to make) about Shirou potentially being that big wolf who was up on the rooftops

6:25 Michiru probably expected Anima-City to be the end of her struggles where everything would just be better and easier. Indeed, she is young and naive.

The Next Morning

7:20 While Michiru may be surprised by the “rule of the strong” here, it does work effectively in parallel with the focus that has been put on money (between these two episodes). The powerful get to do what they want, whether it comes from physical strength or financial power. When it comes down to it, the human world, under a capitalist framework, doesn’t behave all that differently

7:45 Oh, Shirou has some sort of direction connection with the mayor and/or the government. Is this what they meant by “social worker”? Is he some sort of government agent? Does he have the extrajudicial authority to just beat people up (and even kill them?) the way he did with those terrorists?

9:00 (Considering Marie’s apparent connection to Rabbit Town, she probably does have some connection to the pickpocket. But now that I’m making this connection... Did Marie bring those kids to Rabbit Town after they were separated from their parents by beastman hunters?)

Rabbit Town

9:25 My very first expectation with a place called “Rabbit Town” was something akin to “Little China Town”

9:35 Then it struck me as something of a red light district

10:00 And we learn what Michiru might have to deal with in the future for being unable to switch to a human form: more people may think she’s trying to pick a fight.

10:15 Saying that she’s “not some baby” indicates that there are people who can’t control their forms: young children. Or, perhaps, someone who hasn’t been a beastman for a long time. (Maybe she’ll figure it out when/if she gets back with the kids she helped rescue.)

10:45 (Struck by how “coincidental” it is that someone like Grand Grandma would end up with a random kid’s wallet. It’s making me think that the pickpocket and Marie actually funnel people into this person-trafficking ring)

11:15 With my early impression of Rabbit Town being some sort of red light district, I thought this was some sort of communal daycare. (But seeing it again, I’m noticing how stern these women are at seeing the children. Definitely doesn’t look like they care about the kids.)

11:20 The line about them being “women who were betrayed by men”, and the following lines, really fit in with my thinking that this was a red light district, and they probably just didn’t want to outright say these were sex workers. (And maybe some of them are, but it turns out to be far from the whole picture)

11:40 And it does seem to be the image they want to give to Michiru: that they’re a bunch of women struggling together with all of these kids to take care of. There was also a bit about “what it’s like to live as a beastman” which makes me think that it’s definitely the norm for beastmen to be poor—not a surprise since they are clearly an oppressed minority group

Literacy

12:05 Totally expected “Poop” to become the kids’ nickname for Michiru. (Glad it didn’t since it would have made it harder to really care about what happens later.)

12:50 Look at these cuties wanting to learn. (And sobering in retrospect to think how this is probably the most care and attention they’ve had in a while.)

13:10 I forgot to say something about it last episode, but the way Shirou’s sense of smell is visualized is amazing.

13:20 Again with the red light district impression, I was thinking this was the arrival of a pimp or something

13:40 I appreciate Michiru caring about what the kid is already doing instead of reprimanding them for not paying attention

14:00 So we learn about Silver Wolf, who could be the wolf Michiru saw when she arrived in the city. Since Shirou seems to be that wolf, does that mean he’s actually Silver Wolf? Is this an urban legend based on him? Or is he actually some sort of god?

Money

14:45 The demands of payment really played into my pimp impression, but then this guy mentions “letting these women be gangsters.” They could totally still be sex workers as well, but this clues us in that these women may be involved in shadier stuff

15:10 I wonder if the politics of these criminal groups will come more into play in the future. Wouldn’t be surprised if some of the villains we meet end up being allies by the end, considering the way Trigger tends to tell their stories.

15:35 “It’s all women are good for anyway” is an impressively disgusting line to tell us that they’ve been talking about selling the kids. Also, I wonder what it means for the mayor to know about the kids: that the government will be sending people to rescue the kids and shut them down...or that the mayor would be interested in buying...

15:45 The line about the kids being “snatched away” probably means the mayor, so probably not about buying the kids. Still doesn’t mean the “rescue” could end up being more nefarious than it would seem. (Look, I just don’t trust the head of a pharmaceutical company also being a mayor, especially when a video about the city was directly associated with the company instead of being its own thing.)

15:55 Given the earlier scene between Shirou and the mayor, and Shirou being here, I guess he’s something like the mayor’s enforcer? Her trusty hand that does what needs to be done? But I’d also guess that if the mayor is secretly a villain, Shirou has no idea

Trafficking

16:30 I immediately put together that these kids were probably separated from their parents due to attacks by those beastman hunters. (And earlier in this post is when I retroactively put together that Marie, or people with the same job, likely gave/sold the kids to Grand Grandma, if they don’t work for her directly.)

16:40 The rule of the powerful coming up again. This is the way this world (and our world) works. (Which I could go off on a political tangent about, but I’ll refrain for now.)

16:55 Michiru is an atheist. Or at least incredibly pragmatic. Not the most helpful thing to say to people who literally can’t do anything in this situation, but I appreciate the sentiment of actually doing what you can instead of hoping someone else does something about it

17:20 Hmm, no one seems too surprised about Michiru’s expanding tail powers. Maybe this is a relatively normal tanuki thing?

18:00 But the stretchy arms totally aren’t normal, even for a tanuki. Thinking about it, no one else has obviously shown any kind of powers yet. Shirou’s fight with the terrorists could have just been his physical prowess. Do these powers have something to do with Michiru’s transformation from human to beastman?

18:50 In case you didn’t catch on to everyone’s surprise, confirmation that what Michiru just did was very unusual.

19:25 Never a big fan of the “even if they’re women” line. They’ve been doing a very bad thing. Stopping them shouldn’t have anything to do with gender. Why even bring it up. But I guess it does play into Shirou being a masculine and “chivalrous” type of character, as well as this being a generally patriarchal society (which isn’t really any different from our world). (Thinking back to my post on the previous episode, I guess “this isn’t too different from our world” is probably the point that the pseudo-branding contributes to.)

20:00 It seems that Shirou’s relationship to the police is less like Batman, and more like he just outranks them.

20:20 “Facility” is such a cold and impersonal term that it really does make me worry about what the government is going to do with these kids. Again, pharmaceutical company. (I’ll make sure to go back to episode 1 and get a better look at the company’s actual name so I can use that. May as well if I’ll continue to make a big fuss over it.)

20:35 “Even though you’re a beastman, don’t you have a human heart?” is a horribly offensive question. I was initially going to refer to it as a microaggression, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how terrible it is. It’s heavily loaded with the ideas: 1) beastmen are expected to be bad, hence the “even though”, and 2) being human is inherently a good thing. Despite what she said to Shirou at the end of last episode, it seems that she really just has the inverse of his beliefs. And this is so clearly something that only a human would say that it convinces Grand Grandma of Michiru’s “humanity”

21:20 Shirou, needing to wait for evidence before he can do anything, kind of illustrates Michiru’s point of view of not being able to count on society—on anyone else—to be able to help you.

21:30 Shirou, representing the police and government authority to an extent, believing that he “never makes mistakes” again reminds me of the protests we’ve had throughout this year. How the police totally does make mistakes—or rather, the way they don’t even view things they’ve done as mistakes—is totally a problem. (ACAB)

21:40 Following up on what Grand Grandma mentioned earlier about being “betrayed by men”, Michiru questions why it’s only “women and children” that Shirou is protecting. Is it that men don’t need to be protected? “What makes males so special? Are men really that great?”

21:55 And Michiru outright says what she had only implied earlier. Also, she seems a bit scattered between being angry at men, being angry at beastmen, being angry at the police, bring angry at society, and being angry in general. But I get it.

And that’s the end of the episode. I’m not sure if this is how I’ll continue to do these impressions, but I guess I’ll have to see how I feel about it once I get to episode 3. Maybe I’ll try out some genuine first-impressions, even if it means interrupting the episode constantly.

#bna #first impressions

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boku-no-imagine-this · 5 years

Note

I HIGHKEY LOVE YOUR TODOROKI ANGST! I. NEED. MORE. can you please make a angst scenario of Todoroki and a fem!reader with a quirk that makes her live forever. I wanna see how you'll make my heart ache with this 👀. Love you so much!!!!!!!

a/n: thank you,,,, you asked for angst, You got angst. Love you too anon!!! I added a twist to the quirk as well. Shoutout to the betas from the bnha x reader discord server for helping me with corrections. I’m so so so so so thankful to the people who took their time off to beta this 💕

Promise to Neverland

“Peter Pan and I have similar quirks.” you said softly, looking at the children’s book. Your small child hands lifted the book up from the table then placed it back on the bookshelf.

“Huh? Does Peter Pan even have a quirk”

You shook your head. “I don’t think so. He just lives forever,” you stated.

“Then we can be like Peter Pan and Wendy” The young boy with those deep blue and grey orbs had suggested with a blush tinted on his cheeks but you frantically shook your head in disapproval.

“Silly! I should be Wendy and You should be Peter Pan since I’m the girl” You huffed, puffing your cheeks.

“You said you’re like Peter Pan…” Shoto trailed off. “So Wendy is the one who lives normally”

“I know…” You sighed in disappointment. “I don’t want that… Peter Pan and Wendy’s story end badly. Peter is stuck in Neverland and Wendy grows up and never sees him again. I…” You trailed off, trying to hold your tears back.

“I don’t want to say goodbye!” you yelled with tears pricking the end of your eyes.

Shoto walked forward and engulfed you into a warm, gentle hug which you were too upset to even return. “I promise to never say goodbye.”

You finally returned the hug. “Promise? Promise to the second star to the right and straight on till morning”

He pulled away and smiled at you. “Promise to the second star to the right and straight on till morning”

Promises were meant to live on forever. However, they were made in such a naive stage of life when you were both unaware of the fact that unlike promises, those who make them don’t live on forever.

———-

Growing up, your appearance had only moderately changed. Your quirk allowed you to stop and slow down time in certain objects. Due to a malfunction of your quirk, you had accidentally used it on yourself, causing you to age differently. Even with that, you were able to still be cared for by your best friend, the boy whom you had met and befriended merely through your parent’s connections.

Shoto was there for you when things went downhill, just as you were there for him in his lowest points in life. Here you were, a second year in junior high school, training with him while your face was burning red. He was panting heavily with his face inches from yours.

You were just about to fall from tripping on one of the small ice shards he had created. You had coincidentally stopped time around you two while his arm was around your upper body.

Once the realization of the situation had dawned over you, your face combusted into a deeper red causing you two both to lose balance. Your quirk had deactivated making you both fall as his grip on you loosened.

“I’m so sorry Shoto!” You quickly apologized getting up. He dusted his clothes off and stood up. “It’s fine. We both need practice with our quirks to become stronger.”

“Promise you’ll stick with me forever. No matter what happens, we tell each other anything and everything if we want to. Best friends forever.” You firmly stated, however, your heart had somehow felt as if it had twisted when you had said the last few words.

He looked at you with a confused expression before nodding with certainty. “Sure”. With that, you unknowingly forced on a smile.

——–

“Gahhhh! I really envy you L/n! You still have such perfect skin and a cute babyface!” Ashido whined as you walked with her to the classroom.

“It’s just a side effect of my quirk… it happened when I was young causing me to age slower” you chuckled awkwardly, attempting to make your friends calm down.

“Yeah but, that’s so cool, We’re gonna be grandmas while you’re gonna look like you’re 40! You look like a Junior High Schooler!” Ochako smiled. “Plus your quirk is awesome! Time manipulation!” she awed.

“It really isn’t much of a big deal compared to you two- oh! Shoto!” You called out immediately as you saw your dual color haired friend. You ran up to his table and smiled. “Good morning.” you greeted.

“Good morning Y/n.” He greeted in return while you took your seat beside him. “I’d like to ask you something.” He said causing you to turn your attention back to him.

“Yeah? What’s up?” you inquired.

He looked around the classroom to see that not many people had arrived yet. It was just Uraraka, Iida, and Ashido who were all gathered in Iida’s table, possibly talking about something.

“I like someone,” he said.

You opened your mouth to reply. However, once the words had processed into your mind, you slowly pursed your lips together. You were unsure of what to say. Did you understand and hear correctly?

“Y-you like someone?” You questioned hesitantly and he nodded and you felt your throat run dry. “I like many people as well. I mean, you like me, Midoriya, our classmates, your siblings, our teachers, of course. How would you be close to everyone if you disliked them?” You laughed, attempting to make your assumption of it to just be a misunderstanding. It couldn’t be that. Right?.

“I believe you misunderstood. I…” He paused clearing his throat. “I like someone, in a romantic sense.”

Your face paled as your eyes dilated. Was he joking? Were you dreaming? How could it be? Your mouth stayed slightly agape as you observed him. He was as stoic as ever, but he seemed to be avoiding your gaze; his cheeks were tinted with a slight, barely visible pink.

“Who is it?” You inquired, holding onto the hope that it could be you. “If you don’t mind me asking that is.” You added with a small chuckle after.

He looked back at you straight in the eye, causing a light blush to dust your cheeks… You always got flustered whenever you would meet the gaze of his mismatched, beautiful irises.

“Promise you wouldn’t tell anyone.” He asserted. Back then, it would usually be you who would initiate promises, out of mere childhood spirit.

You nodded, your anxiety growing and adrenaline levels rising. “Promise.”

“Yaoyorozu. I like Yaoyorozu,” He stated.

You bit your tongue to hold back from saying anything in spite. You finally managed to regain control of your composure and let out a deep breath. “Really? That’s good I guess.” You smiled. “What made you like- I mean, realize you like her?” You asked, stomach churning at your words.

“I realized it when I began feeling differently whenever I would talk to her. I felt… calmer and happier. I began to take notice of small things she would do. I began to see her as more than a classmate, more than an acquaintance….” he said trailing off.

“Oh I see, I guess I just misunderstood what you had said” you laughed timidly. “I.. I’m proud of you. If you want to talk about it, feel free to approach me anytime.” you grinned.

He gave you a soft smile while nodding, “Thank you.”

“No problem! After all, we made a promise back then that we’d tell each other everything and anything; stay together forever,” you responded.

“Right. Thank you once again” he said.

“You don’t need to,” you said awkwardly laughing.

“Apologies. You’re like a younger sister to me” he said. You looked down to your hands to calm the even stronger aching in your heart. Before you could respond, you immediately spotted Yaoyorozu.

“I’ll go to my seat. My stomach isn’t feeling well” you said, turning around to walk over to your seat. Shoto tilted his head slightly in confusion and attempted to go and question if you needed anything, however, he had quickly realized that Yaoyorozu had taken her seat. His gaze shifted slowly back and forth from her and you causing his eyebrows to furrow in confusion. ‘Is Y/n trying to help me?’

You sat down and placed your head atop your arms on the desk. You gritted your teeth trying to soothe the heavy ache and the painful throbbing of your heart… ‘He likes her and he sees me as a little sister… It’s kind of reasonable, but, if it weren’t for my quirk’s effect, would he still see me as a little sister?’

You turned back to see both Yaoyorozu and Shoto talking. ‘It might just be a crush. Crushes are sometimes things people get over.’

You nodded, happy with your homemade resolution and looked over to see Hagakure and Tsuyu already in their seats. You figured it was best to just clear your mind and you would get over it soon.

———-

If you could have gone back in time to view yourself and your decisions, you would have scoffed.

Years had passed by, but it had felt like it had only been months. You laughed as you talked to Kirishima and Kaminari, who were making jokes about how the graduation would go. The rest of your class, 3-A; the class you had been with and gone through so much from the past three years; villain attacks, various intense training sessions, life-changing events, and personal events on friendship and love. All in your togas and graduation caps, everyone was having last minute chats before the ceremony begins. There would be no telling of who would immediately be going out in the hero field or who would decide to seek higher education, but no matter what decision each one of you would make, U.A. had prepared you all for anything that would come in the future.

You chuckled, shaking your head. “All jokes aside, let’s hope that really doesn’t happen”

Kirishima nodded with a close lidded grin. “Gotta agree with that. We wouldn’t want a goodbye scolding from Aizawa”

“Yeah” Kaminari shivered. “But it would’ve been pretty damn funny if it happened”

“Don’t even think about it” You and Kirishima deadpanned in sync.

“I was kidding!” He retorted

“Yeah.. anyways, let’s enjoy this day to the fullest. After all, it might be the last day we’ll see each other almost every day” You said.

“Hey, don’t talk as if we’re all gonna die. Some of us might go to university but many would go to hero work immediately. Maybe even at the same agencies.” Kirishima replied. “What are you doing? Starting your own agency or gonna go under another agency? Since we’re all relatively popular, we’d all be either in areas like Tokyo or Musutafu”

“Kirishima and I are temporarily gonna be under agencies which were coincidentally close to each other. We’ll check how things go and later on start our own agencies” Kaminari explained and you hummed in understanding.

“I see, That’s a good plan” you nodded.

“What about you?” Kaminari inquired.

“Oh actually-” you were about to explain until you had spotted the distinct dual colored hair. “Hold on. I wanna tell Shoto first.”

Kirishima frowned but he raised a brow. “He still doesn’t know?”

“For someone so smart, he’s pretty stupid” Kaminari.

“Yeah. Though it’s partially my fault…” you trailed off.

Kirishima placed a hand on your shoulder and looked at you firmly in the eye. “Hey. Don’t look so down now. Just tell him what you gotta say” he grinned and you nodded, turning around to go to his direction.

Once you were about to go and talk to Shoto, you paused your steps. He was still talking to Midoriya. ‘It’s alright, I’ve still got the rest of the day.’ You turned your heel around and walked back to the opposite direction, to your other classmates.

The day had passed by just as smoothly as the ceremony had thankfully gone well. Midoriya had finished his final speech as one of the representatives aside from Iida. Now Aizawa, All Might, and Principal Nezu were making final remarks. You smiled softly throughout the speeches, they were all so warm and comforting. It was all over, however it was a new beginning as well. You looked to the side and saw Shoto listening intently.

“… and once again, Class 3-A, you are all graduated. Congratulations.” Principal Nezu finally stated as everyone clapped and cheered. Oh, how you wished things would always be like this.

———

U.A held a party after the ceremony, mainly to just celebrate and have a farewell event. You stepped into the auditorium with the toga finally off revealing the semi-formal dress you wore under.

You scanned the room to check for anyone to go and hang out with until you felt a tap on your shoulder. Your quirked a brow up, confused to who it was before you turned around and saw Shoto standing behind you. “Oh, Shoto, hey.” you greeted.

“Hey. I’ve been looking for you” He said.

Your cheeks flared up slightly at his words. “Oh, really?” you inquired, replying.

He nodded. “I wasn’t able to talk to you earlier before and after the ceremony. Wanna sit down?” He motioned over to a free table and you nodded.

You both took your seats. The room was dark however, dimmed white lights were illuminating the room, along with the colorful lights that danced around. Several students, not only your class but the rest of the third year graduated batches were as well.

“I can’t believe we made it” you started. “Yeah. After everything we’ve all gone through, It makes me glad that everyone’s happy” Shoto replied.

“Mhm. Everyone is just smiling and enjoying their time, despite it being one of the last times we’re gonna see each other for a long time” You spoke, smiling softly yourself as you rested your cheeks in your palms..

“Right. Speaking of that, have you decided what you’re doing?” he questioned causing your eyes to brighten.

“Yeah. I wanted you to be the first to know since you’re my closest friend. The pro hero I did my work studies with this year offered to help me build my own agency” you happily said.

His eyes widened before his features softened into a smile. “That’s great. Here in Musutafu as well?” he inquired causing you to purse your lips and shake your head.

“Unlike your agency, here in Musutafu, I’m going to be all the way in Nagasaki,” you said, averting your gaze. “I know I won’t be as close to you and everyone and it seems like I’m being selfish but…” you trailed off, unsure and unable to even say anything.

“It’s alright,” he said. “You chose that because you want to be a hero for not only people in the main cities but in areas in the south and others” he stated. “That’s being more selfless rather than selfish,” he stated. You felt your heart skip a beat as you clenched onto the hem of your dress tightly. You smiled under your pursed lips. His words always cleared your mind and reassured you.

You nodded and looked up to face him. Your eyes met his. It felt as if time stopped, and that was not because of your quirk. You felt your cheeks heat up even more. No, you couldn’t bear to continue like this especially when he has someone he loves. You abruptly stood up with your palms on the table and turned around. “Sorry, and thank you. I’ll get a drink and tell everyone else before I leave tomorrow.” you excused yourself and made your way outside the auditorium to the restrooms.

You turned the sink on and filled your hands with water then splashed it on your face. You grabbed a piece of tissue and wiped your face. Thankfully, you weren’t wearing much makeup. You looked at the mirror to see the blush fading away. You let out a groan and covered your face once again. He managed to make your heart ache, in the way that you yearned to be with him and have that immense joy whenever you were in his presence.

You looked at your face in the mirror with a smile and furrowed brows. Starting tomorrow, you promised yourself to do your best as a hero.

——-

You adjusted to Nagasaki fairly well. It had been more or less 5 months, however, you didn’t keep track of time nor did you have much free time. You dealt with villain groups in the area, helped with rescue missions, and had just finally finished a mission regarding a black market within the villain society you had been working on ever since the start of your career, which had been the sole reason why you barely had free time.

You hung your trench coat on the coat hanger behind your office door and took a seat at your desk. You scanned through papers and files, quickly taking notice of a creme white envelope embroidered with rose gold on the sides. You tore off the seal and brought the paper inside out.

—

‘Dear Y/n,

It has been so long since we have seen you. We understand that it is due to your hero work in Nagasaki and we’ve heard so much about it. You’re doing so well and we’re extremely happy for you. It has been so long since we’ve caught up and we understand you’re a busy person but we have wonderful news: We’re getting married. We hope you can make time to come, it will be in 4 months. You’ve made such an impact on both of our lives that we truly believe you need to be in one of the biggest times of our lives.

Best wishes, Shoto and Momo’

—

As soon as you finished scanning the letter your heart felt as if it had stopped beating. You shook your head with your mouth agape. What was going on? It had only been 5 months since everyone had separated and graduated. Wasn’t it too early?

Your mind was filled with questions but you quickly shuffled the table making various items on the desk fall off, for your phone. You quickly scroll through your contacts and clicked on Shoto’s name.

You abruptly stood up with your phone connected to your ear and your other hand grasping onto your hair. You bit your lower lip while walking back and forth across the room, anticipating him to answer.

“Come on, pick up, pick up. Pick-”

“Hello?” A deep voice had responded from the other line. “Shoto!” you yelled out of relief, your chest tightened as your heart began to race faster.

“Oh, Y/n? Hi. Are you alright? Is everything fine? You sound troubled” He replied with a worried tone.

“I’m…” you struggled to even reply. You were clearly at a disheveled state due to a reason you should be ashamed of however you chose not to say why. You breathed out deeply, “yeah I’m fine. Just tired. I received your letter”

“You have? I was planning on telling you in person. However, when I came, they said you were out” He said.

“I know. Sorry about that. So…. you and Momo are getting married?” you inquired painfully. “Yeah. I proposed a month ago.” He smiled.

“C-congratulations” You stammered. “But, isn’t it too early?” you laughed awkwardly.

“We’ve been together for almost 8 years and live together so I guess not?” He replied, confused.

“What?!” You yelled. “8 years?! It’s only been 5 months since graduation” you quickly stated.

“No,” Shoto said, confused. “It’s 20XX. It’s more or less half a decade since we graduated from U.A”

“Impossible…” You breathed out. “I-it can’t be! I mean-”

“Are you alright? Do you want me to come over?-” He questioned. “No! I’m sorry… I think I’ve been careless about the dates and I’m just tired… I’ll come to the wedding. I just need to rest for now” you sighed, tears already pricking the rims of your eyes.

“Right. Thank you, I’ll be sure to inform Momo. Get some rest and send me a text when you feel better. Bye”

“Bye” you managed to whisper before ending the call. Your hand trembled as you placed your phone on your desk. Soon after that, you slumped over to the wall and fell to the ground.

You felt sick, disgusted at yourself. You were so ignorant and busy. Part of you wanted to strangle yourself for being immensely ignorant of how time passed. However, the reason why you were being ignorant was that you carried the burden and wanted to save people’s lives. That part of you felt as if your ignorance was in the way of your love and chance to impress Shoto and possibly win him back. You were disgusted at that part of yourself. How could you ever wish that?

Tears continuously streamed down your face as you purse your lips, biting back a wail. You continued to silently cry at the corner of your office for a while longer. You needed to vent out your emotions to properly think straight.

Finally, you stood back up and wiped your tear stained face. You looked at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes were glossy and red. Sighing, you walked back to your desk and pressed the button to communicate with your assistant.

“Hello?” You called out with your voice strained. “I’d like to clear my schedule for next week Saturday and the 2nd week of 4 months later,” you said then removed your finger from the button. As soon as you had done that, you placed your head over your arms above the desk. ‘I’ll keep my word and be there. I have to’

——-

4 months had quickly passed by; those words were to be taken literally in your case.

You leaned against the wall as you watched Ochako and Mina fuss over Momo’s hair. You would’ve been doing the same; would’ve been helping her out, would’ve been panicking about the rush of time, and would’ve been happy for her.

“Y/n!” Hagakure called your name causing you to perk up. “Yeah?” you inquired and walked over to them.

Mina immediately pouted and fixed your hair. “Quit leaning against the wall. Your hair’s getting ruined and your gown’s wrinkling”

“Oh right.. Sorry” you apologized and decided to help out by getting a few bobby pins and cleaning a few strands of Momo’s hair out of the way. The ravenette frowned. “Are you alright Y/n? You look troubled. Shoto’s been worried and said you hadn’t been feeling well the past months”

Your heart had suddenly began to flutter; hearing that he was worried and actually cared made you feel hopeful, just for a while, until you quickly reminded yourself about the event you were currently at. “I’m fine. I’m just really proud of you and Shoto”

She turned to you and smiled. Oh how you wished you weren’t envious of that smile, the smile Shoto fell in love with, “Thanks”. For now, you decided to genuinely attempt to truly be happy for them, for both her smile and his to last forever.

You suddenly flinched. “Momo! Your hair!” you yelled, causing her to immediately turn back to face the mirror. “Sorry, go on”

You nodded and continued with her hair along with the rest of the girls.

——-

You failed to do what you had thought of just earlier in the dressing room. Throughout the entire ceremony, your heart clenched and twisted as it did before. Envy engulfed you while they said their vows; while the vows were being exchanged, you were forced to bite back a cry.

You knew you couldn’t take it anymore, the first few hours of the party were spent alone until you finally decided to step outside.

The party was being held at a high starred hotel by what you had presumed to form the appearance of the venue. You leaned against the railing and let a deep breath out.

“You alright?”

You nearly jumped at hearing a new voice. You turned around and almost froze. You turned back around and nodded. “Perfectly fine”

He walked forward next to you and did the same, leaning on the rail. “Shouldn’t you be inside… Y’know, enjoying your wedding” you spoke up, causing him to shrug.

“I am, though I saw you were alone and walked out here,” Shoto said.

“I’m fine, go back inside to Momo” you replied, brushing him off.

“Y/n” he called you out making you stiffen. “I’ve known you for almost 2 decades and I’m pretty sure I know when you’re lying.”

“Touche” you chuckled. “Things have just been hectic lately, in work-”

“Right, you were able to put an end to underground villain organizations” He replied, cutting you off and you nodded. “I guess news gets around fast”

“It does. Anyways, apologies for cutting you off. Go on” He replied.

You nodded, “Right. And personal problems”

“Such as?” he inquired making you pause. “It’s a secret” you replied.

“I don’t want to be insensitive but, we made a promise that we’ll tell each other everything” Shoto frowned. Your eyes widened at his statement, later on, your features softened finally processing his words.

“True, but I guess I’m just still unsure about it” you covered as he hummed in understanding. “It’s fine. Just tell me anything you want to and can” he stated.

“Thanks, Sho” you sighed. Silence took over as soon as you uttered those words. It was a comforting silence, that made you reminisce about the past and how simple things were, how calm and silent they were.

You decided to speak up, feeling guilty. “Time has passed by so fast.” you began, causing him to perk up and listen intently. “Honestly, I kept adding onto my own work for the wrong causes. Now that I realize it, I feel horrible, disgusted at myself. It’s been so stressful and mind breaking that I forgot about why I even became a hero… I was so congested in it that I forgot to even take time off to the point I forgot to even keep track of time” you explained.

“I believe you’re a good hero. A good person, with a good heart” he responded, making you smile. After the longest time, you had met his eyes, not in longing and pain, but in genuine, true happiness.

Out of spite, you tipped up your toes and brushed your lips against his cheek before going back down. You both met eyes once again until your action had processed in your mind, making you turn back to the door of the hotel.

“Sorry, I just felt like doing that. Y-you know, like how your mom and sister do… since I’m like your little sister as you had said years ago” You explained out of the whim. He nodded and gave a soft smile “It’s fine. Now let’s go back inside to everyone” he said and you and he did so.

Shame filled you immensely just as guilt washed over you. You knew you shouldn’t have done what you had just done. Peter Pan had given Wendy a hidden kiss that he shouldn’t have.

———–

It took you awhile to get over it. You finally managed to gather your strength, courage, and composure to just move on, as hard as it seemed.

You opened your phone with a smile to finally text Shoto. You looked up at the penthouse and rung the doorbell.

Instead of either Shoto or Momo, whom you had expected to be the ones to answer to door, a young girl had run out. “Auntie Y/n!” A little girl with raven hair and heterochromic irises ran towards you and tackled you into a hug. You laughed and hugged her in return.

“I missed you so much” the little girl grinned, pulling away. You smiled at her and nodded. “I did too, Shiro”

You both finally got up and nodded at each other. You both performed a series of hand clasps and claps before grinning at one another.

You both immediately heard a stern clearing of a throat, causing you and the little girl to turn to where the sound had come from, clearly knowing who it was.

“I see you still have the audacity to do a handshake with my own daughter after only texting me just now that you’re staying in Musutafu for 16 days” Shoto crossed his arms with a frown.

You chuckled and got back up, “Well, what’s the point of a surprise if you know?” You teased, making him playfully hit you.

“Come in. Momo immediately started cooking just seconds ago when I got your text” he rolled his eyes, opening the door to let you in.

You followed in after Shiro then removed your shoes. “The house still hasn’t changed much huh?” you smiled.

“Not at all,” He said while walking in. You entered the living room, connected to the kitchen. “Hey L/n, I’m getting some Sukiyaki done, please wait for a while” Yaoyorozu perked up from the kitchen then stepped back in to tend to the food. “It’ alright really. I’m just visiting” you said.

“If you were, you should have warned us ahead of time” Shoto frowned making you roll your eyes. “Well, If I’m going to be honest, this trip really was last minute” you replied. Shoto raised a brow, intrigued by your reply. “How so?”

“Hero work” you replied.

Shoto gave you a deadpanned look. “How am I not surprised. For what exactly?” he inquired further.

“They’re working on a case regarding a villain like black market here in Musutafu. Since I handled it well back in Nagasaki, they decided to call me up for backup”

“I see. I remember Midoriya informed me that he was working on that case as well” he stated and you nodded.

“I’m actually staying at Ochako’s place since she lives close to various agencies”

“You could’ve stayed with us” Shiro interjected with a pout.

You laughed and ruffled her hair. “I would but I’m pretty sure if I surprised your dad with the fact I’m staying over, he’d be even madder”

“I’m not mad” Shoto replied, rolling his eyes making you and Shiro burst into a fit of giggles.

“The Sukiyaki’s done! Please come over” Yaoyorozu called over while popping up from behind the wall. You three got up and walked over to the dinner table. You used the ladle to get a bowl for yourself then saw Shiro’s mouth watering from the scent of the soup. You used the ladle to get another serving and poured it on the young girl’s bowl.

You took a sip and savored the flavor before turning to Yaoyorozu. “This is great Momo. You really didn’t have to”

She shook her head, “it’s fine. You’re our guest and it is almost lunchtime after all” she explained, you nodded as thanks then continued eating.

“So are you here for vacation?” Yaoyorozu questioned but Shoto replied for you.

“She’s working on the case Midoriya is doing,” he replied.

Before you could interject, Shiro spoke up. “Daddy, you’re just mad at Auntie Y/n because she’s prettier than you”

You were tempted to choke at your soup but ended up laughing softly. Shoto’s brows furrowed. “I’m not mad about that, I’m not even mad. I just-”

“You are. You’re mad that she’s prettier than you. But you’re pretty too”

“I said I-” Shoto was about to retort back but you decided to intervene.

“Shiro, Your dad’s right. He’s not mad…” you trailed off as a smirk crawled up to your face. “He’s upset”

The young girl beamed and nodded repeatedly making you and Yaoyorozu chuckle while Shoto had given up.

“If you’re so pretty Auntie, then why aren’t you married?” She innocently inquired. You weren’t sure how to answer. You glanced slowly at Shoto who was also anticipating an answer.

“You really are cheeky and talkative huh? You better start eating before I get your Sukiyaki” You jokingly threatened to cause her face to pale and immediately, she began to eat more.

After lunch, you offered to wash the dishes along with Shoto as Yaoyorozu fixed the table and gone to do some urgent paperwork for her agency.

“So what wrong? About what Shiro said earlier at the table, don’t you want to be in a relationship? You used to babble about it a lot before” he spoke up.

“You really do have this hidden telepathic quirk huh?” you said while scrubbing the plate.

“Of course, I’ve known you for decades” he rolled his eyes.

“To me, it seemed like only a few years…” you replied lowly. “That’s the reason. I’m afraid of initiating because if I’m going to live 2 times longer than my significant other, It would hurt even more to lose them and live on. I’ve seen people envy me for my youth but really, I envy everyone else” you paused. “It’s like Peter Pan remember? He had to see everyone grow up, live, forget, and pass away. I’m afraid of that. Plus people won’t even take me seriously” you finished.

“I see,” he said. “Well, no one’s gonna pressure you to get into a relationship any time soon. What matters is if you’re happy”

Your mind processed his words several times and they repeated; every syllable echoing. You forced on a smile, questioning to yourself if you could still be happy knowing that he couldn’t love you and that one day, You’ll have to face the harsh reality of your words that were previously uttered.

———–

As per usual, time had passed by quickly that it had become an inside joke every time a big event would occur or if you remembered that either 5 or ten years had passed by. You witnessed many blissful: birthdays, weddings, celebrations, and mournful circumstances, such as one you were currently at.

You looked around the people around, several were familiar faces, however, they were all upset. Everyone was in black and either busy mourning or talking to each other.

You stared at the coffin with a blank expression; eyes sore and red while your face was pale. Your body was weak and frail despite you only looking like a middle-aged woman.

Gripping onto the stem of the bouquet, you bit back tears from streaming down your face. Your legs were probably going to give up on you if you wouldn’t take a seat any time soon. You let out a deep sigh as you turned around to look for a vacant seat. As you did, your eyes drifted off at the press who were outside, thankfully being kept out by security. They were all shamelessly trying to get a story of how the great Pro Hero, Shoto, had passed away, audaciously begging for details. You finally took a seat and continued stirring into a daze while your eyes were fixated at a framed photograph on the table beside the coffin.

You suddenly snapped out of your daze from a tap on your shoulder. You looked at the woman with raven hair and mismatched hues behind you, who looked no more than a few years younger than you. “Aunt Y/n, my husband and I are going to leave. The kids would get out of school anytime soon” she said as you nodded.

“It’s alright. I’m not your mother,” you replied.

“You were always like one to me” she frowned. “Dad wouldn’t want you being like this. You’ve been like this at other funerals already. It’s not bad but you shouldn’t blame yourself for what happened. He passed away peacefully at an old age.” Shiro stated, to comfort you even though she was just as grief struck.

You gave her a soft smile. “Thank you. Go on, your husband is waiting. I’ll stay here for a while” She nodded and left.

The words you had previously uttered were an understatement. You had stayed there for more than several hours, people had already left and the moon was up. You decided to stand up and bid a final farewell.

You smiled, placing the bouquet down beside the gravestone.

“Promise that I’ll see you in Neverland”

#bnha #bnha x reader #todoroki #todoroki x reader #Shoto todoroki #Shoto x reader #Shoto todoroki x reader #angst #bnha angst

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telltalebatman · 5 years

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@biformers let’s go

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? wine glasses, they make everything seem so... elegant

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? lollipops!! they don’t melt in the sun and when i pull them out of my mouth they make that POP sound. very good.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? bubblegum, last time i checked i couldn’t make cotton candy balloons

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? bright and bubbly and curious and energetic. very energetic. too energetic. mister crispin, please, your daughter is way too energetic, the school’s gonna expl-

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? wine glasses. (that’s not an- well, it is now.)

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? pastel and formal, but mostly formal.......... formal clothes make me look super nice. (so do pastel ones. well, i look 12 in pastels.)

7. earbuds or headphones? earbuds can he shared, so... earbuds.

8. movies or tv shows? movies for watching with someone, tv shows for watching alone. sometimes it’s the other way. sometimes it’s neither.

9. favorite smell in the summer? raspberry lemonade, freshly cut grass, and uh... oswald. yes, that’s a smell. he smells nice in summer. in fact he smells nice all the time, but he smells best during the summer.

10. game you were best at in p.e.? i was never good at anything p.e related........ i’m good at yoga i guess.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? w a f f l e s. shit, i’m hungry now. oswald! i want waffles!

12. name of your favorite playlist? kiss me hard, fuck me harder, love me hardest (what? you heard me. i did, i’m just... what? is this a suggestion? a hint? :) )

13. lanyard or key ring? i’m gonna go with “not attaching my keys to anything and losing them all in my purse”.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? those little, chewy, caramel candies that make your teeth stick together.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? do i look like a girl who had ever read a book in her life? (you got a master’s degree. ...kristeva’s “powers of horror”.)

16. most comfortable position to sit in? with my legs crossed.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? those!

18. ideal weather? warm and sunny, so oswald has an excuse to keep a ton of ice cubes in the freezer, so that he can- she likes it when it’s hot, so she has an excuse to devour buckets of ice cream. and also wear short skirts. that’s coincidentally also /my/ favorite weather.

19. sleeping position? preferably wrapped around oswald, if not available... i like to take as much space in bed as possible. on my stomach. limbs spread.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? notebook app on my phone

21. obsession from childhood? z-zorro.............

22. role model? if i had a role model i wouldn’t be the person i am.

23. strange habits? none! i’m perfectly normal. the normalest girl in gotham.

24. favorite crystal? see? i’m normal. i don’t have a favorite crystal.

25. first song you remember hearing? not a song, but an instrumental piece. something by tchaikovsky. my mom used to listen to tchaikovsky after work.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? swimming. and sitting around and complaining it’s too hot.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? ; )

28. five songs to describe you? you should ask oswald that one. i bet he’ll have a good answer. (sweet talking woman, a girl like you, how to be a heartbreaker, gold dust woman and fear and delight. what? of course i know how to describe charlie with songs. i can describe her in any way.)

29. best way to bond with you? feed me and have sex with me. not neccesarily in that exact order. wink.

30. places that you find sacred? i wouldn’t have sex on anyone’s grave, if that’s what you’re asking.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? i’m gonna be honest with you. what part of me suggests i’m capable of KICKING ASS or TAKING NAMES? oswald once called me a silly girl and i cried. (well, love, to be fair, you /did/ spend quite some time on the road.) and to this day i don’t know how did i manage to not die after a week. idk. i guess... pants, that’s for starters. a leather jacket. biker boots? and also a gun and a knife.

32. top five favorite vines? i like pink wine. are there even that many kinds of pink wine?

33. most used phrase in your phone? omg

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? aNIMAL CRACKERS IN MY SOUP-

35. average time you fall asleep? two a.m

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? can i haz a cheeseburger...

37. suitcase or duffel bag? suitcase, duffel bags don’t work well for... well... people who wear clothes.

38. lemonade or tea? yes.

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? yes.

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? one of my teachers had straight up died when i was answering his question in class. i still don’t know if my answer was correct. :(

41. last person you texted? louise!! she’s such a good friend. i love her.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? oswald’s pockets.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? leather jacket

44. favorite scent for soap? bubblegum, duh

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? superhero, and not just because my boyfriend is a literal supervillain.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? none. ; )

47. favorite type of cheese? sharp cheddar

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? a strawberry! sweet and red and begging for c-

49. what saying or quote do you live by? “there’s bravery in being soft”.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? someone once tweeted a picture of oswald, challenging batman to a fistfight, captioned “i aspire to 1 day have self-esteem this high #blessed”.

51. current stresses? yes.

52. favorite font? do... do people have favorite fonts? huh.

53. what is the current state of your hands? soft and clean, thank you very much. (i punch people so charlie doesn’t have to cook. it... makes sense, i swear.)

54. what did you learn from your first job? do i look like a person who had ever worked a day in her entire life? do i /sound/ like i ever had a job? no. no, i don’t.

55. favorite fairy tale? beauty and the beast!

56. favorite tradition? don’t tell oswald i said it, but i’m kind of sort of fond of that traditionalist concept of men being dominant and assertive and capable. or maybe i just like not having to do anything, who knows.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? well, first my parents died, then it turned out my then-husband was behind it and THEN i almost died because a man cut my heart out and attempted to eat it on my mother’s grave. and he didn’t even cook it! (and for that i am eternally glad.)

58. four talents you’re proud of having? i have zero talents. (that’s not true, but she firmly refuses to believe me when i say so. let’s go with talents charlie SHOULD be proud of. she can read people, behave properly in any given situation, is a fantastic listener... oh, and she’s a fantastic, caring, loveable girlfriend.) that’s not a talent. (but if it was, you’d be the best at it.)

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? “OH!”. i say that approximately... 100 times a day.

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? a shoujo anime, with little to no actual drama and a hentai spin-off.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? i... hm. ah. hm. i don’t know. i knew the answer 30 seconds ago - but now it’s gone. please don’t ask me about my favorite things. i only know what those are when no one’s trying to learn about them.

62. seven characters you relate to? persephone, beauty from beauty and the beast, emma frost, sleeping beauty, triss merigold, that absolutely brainless blonde boy from kingdom hearts aaaand... sakhmet from the wicked and the divine comic. not because i’m bloodthirsty, but because i too prioritize sex and looking good.

63. five songs that would play in your club? bulletproof, six shooter, tongues, horns and bittersweet

64. favorite website from your childhood? absolutely do not tell oswald, but... club penguin.

65. any permanent scars? what, you mean physical, or mental? because there’s one on my chest and one on my heart. both are permanent and can’t be loved away, even though oswald’s doing his best to love them away. : (

66. favorite flower(s)? red roses... i’m not a very original person.

67. good luck charms? oswald once gave me a gun. so... a gun.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? anything pear-flavored. pears are the devil’s fruit.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? parmesan isn’t vegetarian.

70. left or right handed? right. and i didn’t just pick up a random pencil only to make sure of that.

71. least favorite pattern? the behavioral pattern of constantly repeating one’s mistakes. (i... think they meant things like polka dots.) but do you have any proof of that? no. no, you don’t. so... repeating one’s mistakes it is then.

72. worst subject? politics. :)

73. favorite weird flavor combo? spicy chicken wings dipped in honey.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? 4 or 5. i’m a big baby when it comes to physical pain.

75. when did you lose your first tooth? do most people remember losing their first tooth? because i don’t. at all.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? french fries french fries french fries FRENCH FRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? basil. i like the smell... and forgetting to water my plants.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? gas station coffee. sushi has to be... well... good to be good.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? they both look the same, because i’ve been cursed with the curse of “eternally looking like i’m twelve” :(

80. earth tones or jewel tones? jewel. and not just because i don’t know the difference between those two.

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? ...are you telling me fireflies and lightning bugs... are two different things? huh.

82. pc or console? pc, because i can do my taxes on my pc. can you do taxes on a console? of course you can’t, that’d be stupid.

83. writing or drawing? writing.

84. podcasts or talk radio? podcasts!

84. barbie or polly pocket? b a r b i e

85. fairy tales or mythology? hm. fairy tales, because there’s less... rape in them.

86. cookies or cupcakes? yes.

87. your greatest fear? i’m not saying! my greatest fears tend to become reality, so maybe let’s not speed the process up.

88. your greatest wish? i,,,,,,,,,,,,, i’d like to maybe get married once again one day,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, maybe,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

89. who would you put before everyone else? the man on whom i’m sitting as we speak.

90. luckiest mistake? well, i once told bruce wayne i have a dog named pingu, which lead me to instantly adopting an actual dog.

91. boxes or bags? boxes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? fairy lights forever

93. nicknames? love it when people come up with nicknames for me!

94. favorite season? summer

95. favorite app on your phone? proooobably instagram. or twitter.

96. desktop background? a photo of a baby seal. it’s so cute!

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? ...do people really memorize phone numbers?

98. favorite historical era? okay, now you’re making fun of me. no one has a “favorite historical era”. that’s made up.

#4.txt #charlie

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lucidlucy · 6 years

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Different anon. I think my main worry is that I don't know if I trust JJ to further Reylo, it wasn't canon by no means in TFA, no matter how much (some of) the fandom wants to believe it, and from what I've piece together, Rian did an almost 180 on the script (yes i know JJ was a producer but still, Reylo is Rian's baby) I just fear that even tho they undoubtably have feelings for each other, they will still be enemies in 9 and won't develop past that...

I actually disagree. The foundation for the reylo dynamic was created during TFA. The events of TLJ couldn’t in any way, shape or form have happened without those foundations. The “draw” to the girl, the curious “I feel like I know you” parallels (the visions in which Kylo seems to be the only one to turn and notice Rey in the rain, Rey’s feeling like she’s heard his voice before (novelization), that whole interrogation scene in which Kylo may have as well been speaking about himself because he saw his own loneliness in hers, Kylo’s sudden strong pull to the light coincidentally when Rey enters the picture, and vice versa in TLJ) that point to, as Rian plainly put it, two parts of a whole… those things were created by JJ. Rian simply brought them to light as a logical next step in that dynamic. The fact that Rey continually bested Ren, marking her as his equal when up until then he seemed to be the champion undefeated, were JJ’s ideas. When Reylo was born, it was literally as a way to explain that dynamic.

The romantic aspect of it was born out of other well established fairytale tropes (the bridal carry to starkiller base with the heavy death and the maiden symbolism, the whole light/dark dynamic of equally powerful users fighting it out in the enchanted forest (literally the name given to the forest set in the call sheet by JJ, btw) etc), that, lo and behold, were expanded on by Rian. But Rian couldn’t have done ANY of that without those seeds first planted in TFA, and while I understand that a lot of people aside from Reylos didn’t see it coming, it was more because they had already entrenched themselves in headcanons they wanted to see fulfilled regarding the Skywalker legacy and lineage more than it was about what both the text and subtext of TFA made clear. These two would be important to each other (the hero/main character and the last Skywalker left being important to each other? shocking /s). JJ is basically where the whole concept of Reylo was born. Nevermind that he loved what Rian did so much with the story progression he’s on record saying he wished he had directed it himself. Why would anyone think he wouldn’t continue on from that, when it’s obvious that he’s 100% on board?

Now, whether he’ll make it explicitly romantic is another thing altogether, but lack of explicit romance (kisses on screen, etc) doesn’t invalidate what’s already there. One can’t say that the dynamic of Reylo isn’t integral to the story, in fact, the beating heart of it, simply because we don’t know whether they kiss or not. Fans have taken the concept of “endgame” to mean characters kiss/fuck/whatever or else it’s a bust, but I disagree. They’re already the it thing of this whole trilogy. They already pushed past enemies. It’s obvious they can’t hurt each other. By TFA it’s because the Force refuses to let them when the ground splits neatly between them (and again in TLJ in the throne room when the saber splits), then in TLJ it’s not because they don’t have the chance, but because they choose not to. Rey chose not to kill him when he was passed out, and whatever he may have anger!shouted at Luke, the second he saw her again his look was not one of anger, but one of “I fucked up and I know it” and regret when confronted with Rey’s disappointment.

The story can hardly backpedal on that when we’re THIS close to the end, else the whole 2 first movies become redundant, and that’s not how movie making or storytelling goes. You have point A to point C with a dark and hopeless point B in between for the heroes to overcome. That’s it, that’s storytelling 101. So, going back to hateful enemies to the bitter end is no longer really in the cards, even if IX opens up with Kylo trying and continuing to fail in his endeavors. You have to remember the whole concept of this trilogy is the idea of balance, and these two are presented as the personification of that. Enemies as a concept to the end only leads to death for one or the other, and they can’t/won’t hurt each other, so…

That can’t be really disputed at this point, and all signs point to JJ furthering that story rather than detracting it, given that he was the one to put it in place, imho. I think a lot of the worry people have that they’ll remain enemies is misplaced. they’re not enemies now. They’re stuck on two sides of a war with clashing ideals of what is right but they have long since moved past personal hate for each other. That’s not enemies. That’s “it’s complicated.”

I also hear this is the last movie of the whole Skywalker saga, and I personally don’t see a 40 year legacy ending on a sour note, killing off the last Skywalker unredeemed and branding the whole thing as an exercise in futility by the Force via this one family that ended in tragedy. So there’s also that.

#;;mailday #Nonnie #holy shit this got long #sorry Nonnie #I have a lot of opinions about this lol #reylo

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365dailyaffirmations · 4 years

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TGIWednesday....and a teachable moment

TGIWednesday News

Ok, so sticking with the theme of learning for this month, today we’ll touch on teaching. We are all teachers! If you’ve taught a child how to tie their shoe, or a pet how to sit and stay, you’re a teacher! And even teachers are constantly learning and honing their skills and talents. So if you’re stuck and complacent it’s not the world’s fault - get to stepping! And if you aren’t reading a book or studying something, maybe even our online course...What are you waiting on? Time is ticking away! Even if it’s gardening, dancing, computers, whatever interests you, get going! You are never too old or too young. Louise Hay learned about computers in her late 70’s and then took up ballroom dancing after that! Move towards the direction of your goals and dreams and you’ll eventually get you there! Reminder that throughout this month of education/learning/teaching... our special MyBeliefWorks™ for Clearing Educational Blocks MP3 will be 20% OFF OR you can GET IT FREE when you sign up for either the Mastery or Practitioner Certification Course this month. Read about MLF Mastery training here. Already taken the Mastery Course? Have you thought about becoming a Certified MLF Practitioner so you can add this into your toolkit in working with YOUR clients? This is your reminder... Also in the shop this month Receive 20% OFF ALL DIGITAL EBOOKS. YOU MUST USE THIS LINK and go through to Checkout page OR type in code FISHSCHOOL

TGIWednesday Download

~ TEACHING & LEARNING~ Today I will learn to be more of a teacher/helper/contributor. I believe, think, know and feel that I still have a lot to offer others. I am ready, willing and able to teach others while learning a new part of myself. I know, when, where, how and why a journey can start with making preparations and taking that first step. I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is!

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

When you sign up for either the Mastery or Practitioner Certification Course this month, you'll GET THIS FREE! MyBeliefWorks™ for Clearing Educational Blocks and Traumas MP3/PDF

LEARN ABOUT CERTIFICATION HERE

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library.

Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

Abundance Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe COVID-19 Clearings Creative Spark Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives The Gold Coin Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss Windfall Youth & Vitality *MySwitchWorks Videos

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

THIS THURSDAY - September 10th at 2pm ET/11am PT Straight Talk for the Soul with host Cari Murphy You're invited to Season 16 as we launch into highly progressive, transformational, light-Fueled discussion on her Straight Talk for the Soul Global Masterclass Series! Register Here to Catch the Full Series Thursday Sept. 23rd - The Global Gathering

with host Dipal Shah. The Gathering is an online spiritual event in which multiple healers, lightworkers, catalysts and spiritual teachers come together as ONE to support humanity by anchoring love, light, joy, wellness and optimism. Join Us and Watch Online!

For nearly a decade, more than 6 million people have been attending the You Wealth Revolution and the ALL NEW Global Awakening Project™ online event, starting this month, is going to impact millions more! Join nearly 1 million people who will experience a ‘high vibration’ energy field as 40+ top teachers, healers, and scientists (including myself in November) will reveal their #1 quantum energy activations to instantly help YOU and Get Your '639 Hz Abundance & Harmony Kit™' Gift + The Global Awakening Project™ LIVE Event Access — FREE Register here & Get Your Free Gift!

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack SEPTEMBER 9th "Today I will be clear about my intent and create a list of what I want to see happen and materialize in my list. In this list there will be basic fundamental traits that I want to see in my job, my mate, and my life."

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show

NEW VIDEO FORMAT! WATCH IT LIVE TUESDAY'S at 4pm EDT / 1pm PDT Watch and Participate (via Comments) during the Live TV Show streamed on Goldylocks Productions YouTube Channel, Facebook Page and Periscope. NOTE: You will need to log into your YouTube (Google) or Facebook accounts to comment. If you watch the Live show from any other location other than the 3 listed below, your comments will not be seen by the Show Host or Producer. https://www.facebook.com/GoldylocksProductions https://www.pscp.tv/Goldylocks168/follow Or watch all live and replays in the archives here: https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Instructions for the VIEWERS: 1. One reading/message per person. The first question posted will be answered, so please think about your question carefully before posting it. 2. If you want a longer and more detailed message, please book an appointment with the Show Host. 3. Spirit does come through and gives messages that can apply to many, not just the person asking the question. 4. It is not required nor should be expected that every question or comment will be addressed by the Show Host. 5. If you have any issues with the show host or show format, please contact the Show Producer... not the Show Host. 6. Contact the Show Producer, Rev. Tiffany White Sage Woman via email: [email protected] Yesterday's Show - Watch the replay here! Special Guest Jeremy Riden | Cards and intuitive readings https://divinesparkministries.com/about-jeremy-riden September 15th Gosia Lorenz| Clearing negative entities and intuitive readings www.gosialorenz.com September 22nd Ayla Murray | Tarot/Angel Cards and intuitive readings https://www.facebook.com/harmonicperspective/ September 29th Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

From the Fish Box

"Hi Jimmy,

Firstly, every time you have a monthly call, it just seems to resonate with wherever I am at the moment. Your Breakthrough Switches call was fantastic and really lifted me up, I think it's a great one! I've also been mixing up some of the Windfall and Abundance Switches audios too, and things seem to be good in the middle of this crisis. In the three weeks between the end of April and mid-May, I've received over $4000 in expected and unexpected money, literally checks coming in the mail. Not just one, like a few, and deposits in my account. One of the audios has 'seeking best insurance on it', and coincidentally a renewal date was approaching. I switched companies on the last day before renewal and saved us $1500, plus both the old and new insurance companies sent us COVID-related refunds, over $200. So, things like that are happening. I'm feeling a lot more trusting in the Universe! I've also been inspired to start "fun" investing/trading again (besides my IRAs), and have delved into the crypto market - so far, haven't lost on one trade, and have settled in with one pick that's a long term "moonshot" investment - I'll let you know how it goes (in 3 years or so! Lol!) Thanks for sharing your gift with everyone, I look forward to the monthly calls!"- L.S.

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf. Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers. *NOTE if the MDP Service was purchased via a special telesummit or radio show offer, prayers will be limited to BUYER ONLY - and will not include family members or pets.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day!

Tampa Office Sessions

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS

Friday sessions are back to being phone-only for folks that I usually see at Kodawari until further notice. You can book time with me in the shop and schedule online. 3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa ☎️ (813) 999-1874 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/

TGIFunny

Forward

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session Transformational Healing of Body, Mind & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations! Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit (*Updated May 2019) Audio MP3 Downloads and books to improve your life! Get Certified in My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for Supplements http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2020 All Rights Reserved

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com

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thedivinefish · 4 years

Text

TGIWednesday....and a teachable moment

TGIWednesday News

TGIWednesday Download

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

When you sign up for either the Mastery or Practitioner Certification Course this month, you'll GET THIS FREE! MyBeliefWorks™ for Clearing Educational Blocks and Traumas MP3/PDF

LEARN ABOUT CERTIFICATION HERE

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library.

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

From the Fish Box

"Hi Jimmy,

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Tampa Office Sessions

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS

TGIFunny

Forward

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

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divinefishingtips · 4 years

Text

TGIWednesday....and a teachable moment

TGIWednesday News

TGIWednesday Download

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

When you sign up for either the Mastery or Practitioner Certification Course this month, you'll GET THIS FREE! MyBeliefWorks™ for Clearing Educational Blocks and Traumas MP3/PDF

LEARN ABOUT CERTIFICATION HERE

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library.

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

From the Fish Box

"Hi Jimmy,

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Tampa Office Sessions

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS

TGIFunny

Forward

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

0 notes

advancedthetapractitioner · 4 years

Text

TGIWednesday....and a teachable moment

TGIWednesday News

TGIWednesday Download

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

When you sign up for either the Mastery or Practitioner Certification Course this month, you'll GET THIS FREE! MyBeliefWorks™ for Clearing Educational Blocks and Traumas MP3/PDF

LEARN ABOUT CERTIFICATION HERE

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library.

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

From the Fish Box

"Hi Jimmy,

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Tampa Office Sessions

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS

TGIFunny

Forward

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

0 notes

everylittlelie · 7 years

Text

Tagged by: @roombagreyjoy <3 Rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

THE LAST

1. drink: black coffee 2. phone call: a close friend 3. text message: coincidentally the same friend 4. song you listened to: Wrabel - The Village 5. time you cried: beginning of June I think? Idk, I’m not really capable of crying 6. dated someone twice: ahahaha, I have to date someone once before I can date them twice... and that hasn’t happened yet 7. kissed someone and regretted it: roughly the same thing as above 8. been cheated on: just look at the answer of seven 9. lost someone special: depends on how you define it - I’ve never had someone close to me die, thankfully... but I’ve lost quite a lot of special people to other things in the past three years 10. been depressed: right now, today, this wonderful hour *shrugs* 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: I’ve only gotten buzzed so far 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS 12. Red 13. Red (but also yellow) 14. Red (also blue) IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU 15. made new friends: oh yes and I couldn’t be more lucky about that 16. fallen out of love: yes 17. laughed until you cried: maybe once? hopefully? I dunno, I don’t laugh that much 18. found out someone was talking about you: YES AND I WANT TO BURN THOSE BITCHES TO THE GROUND

19. met someone who changed you: definitely 20. found out who your friends are: yes 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: 1. I’ve never kissed anyone 2. I hate facebook and I never open it unless I have no choice GENERAL 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: I avoid facebook like it’s the plague 23. do you have any pets: I wish... 24. do you want to change your name: I like my first name, but I want to change my middle and family names 25. what did you do for your last birthday: I had a fight with one of my closest friend, had a group of more than a hundred people who didn’t even know me randomly sing “Happy Birthday” to me (I cried), drank vodka, tried to beat depression back with a stick, went to the finals of a competition (my birthday was on Sunday, we were in a different city for the competition the entire weekend), didn’t do as well as I’d liked, cried again when my coach tried to comfort me, hung out with some friends on the beach, swimming despite the cold weather, spent the entire train ride back to my hometown pranking friends and sticking my head out the window to watch the stars... all in all, definitely not the worst birthday I’ve had 26. what time did you wake up: something around 14 o’clock, if I’m not wrong? 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: finally started watching Brooklyn Nine Nine 28. name something you can’t wait for: the day I graduate and move out 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: today, unfortunately 31. what are you listening to right now: Wrabel - The Village 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: nope 33. something that is getting on your nerves: the fact that fucking depression won’t leave me alone 34. most visited website: this fucking hellhole of a site 35. hair colour: dark brown 36. long or short hair: short 37. do you have a crush on someone: no 38. what do you like about yourself: generally everything about the person I am today, with very few exceptions that I’m working to improve 39. want any piercings: not really anything fancy but I’m planning on getting one on the helix of my right ear xd 40. blood type: AB+ 41. nickname: Fox (someone I used to be close friends with gave me the nickname because I love foxes and it stuck through the years) 42. relationship status: single 43. zodiac: Taurus but I disagree with 50% of the zodiac posts out there xd 44. pronouns: she/her 45. favourite tv show: eh... the more I love a show the more it ends up disappointing me so there are none currently 46. tattoos: I’m too young to get one, but I have plans for several and I can’t wait until I’m old enough and financially stable so I can get them 47. right or left handed: in the general case, right handed... but there’s this funny thing called cross-dominance that loves to complicate my life 48. surgery: nope 49. piercing: none yet 50. sport: Kangoo Jumps and horse riding (but I rarely get to do the second because #money #time #distance :/) 51. vacation: anywhere where I don’t have to see my parents and don’t have anything specific to do 52. pair of trainers: mmm the only pairs of shoes I own are boots MORE GENERAL 53. eating: pelmeni, pasta, pizza 54. drinking: coffee coffee COFFEE (also tea, water and smoothies to substitude food) 55. im about to: practice my language skills on Duolingo and read up on Norse mythology

56. waiting for: graduation day, seriously I can barely survive here 57. want: look above... but also, to change the world and make it a lot better for everyone 58. get married: probably not, at least not legaly 59. career: mostly figured out, waiting to graduate so I can get on with it

WHICH IS BETTER 60. hugs or kisses: I haven’t kissed anyone but hugs are super nice

61. lips or eyes: always eyes 62. shorter or taller: both? like, for example short people are so fiery in order to make up for their height but I also love hugging them because I get all mushy like “YES LET ME CRADDLE YOU AND PROTECT YOU I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU” while taller people tend to challenge my competitiveness a lot (Idk why but I always end up competing with tall friends and I love it) 63. older or younger: uuuh I dunno? maybe older? I mean, half my friends are several years older than me but somehow I get along with them way easier (also, there’s less teenage melodrama around them and more real talk and goofiness without unnecessary complications xd) 64. nice arms or nice stomach: both I guess 65. hook up or relationship: relationship 66. troublemaker or hesitant: troublesolver XD nah, always depends on the situation but I usually do anything to stand my ground and defend my position HAVE YOU EVER 67. kissed a stranger: nope. 68. drank hard liquor: yes, but I’ve never been drunk 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: no 70. turned someone down: yes 71. sex on the first date: *cough* I have to go on a date first and that hasn’t happened *cough* 72. broken someone’s heart: probably 73. had your heart broken: ahahaha what are feelings let’s ignore those 74. been arrested: nope 75. cried when someone died: no 76. fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN 77. yourself: I try 78. miracles: I’m a weird mix between “everything happens for a reason” and “FUCK FATE I MAKE MY OWN DESTINY” 79. love at first sight: eh... more like “more-than-friendly feelings after several conversations” (I’m really quick at figuring people out and, thankfully, I’ve never been wrong so far) 80. santa claus: haven’t in quite a long time (fun fact: I was scared of telling my parents that I didn’t believe anymore) 81. kiss on the first date: how the fuck would I know? 82. angels: I’m agnostic, so allow me to take a neutral strance here - I neither believe nor *not* believe OTHER 83. current best friends name: I’m never gonna pick between friends about who’s the “best”... if you’re my friend, then you’re fam and I’ll go to the other end of the world for you, it’s that simple 84. eye colour: brown 85. favorite movie: Wonder Woman <3 also How To Train Your Dragon

I’m not gonna tag 20 people because I don’t communicate with that many people on tumblr, but here are some: @youbuggingme @distractedbylife @goshimeverythingtrash @thesarcasticweirdo127 @robb-greyjoy

#personal

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flauntpage · 5 years

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The Outlet Pass: All Hail LeBron's Step-Back Three

Terrifying: LeBron is Adapting

In the first year of his second stint with the Cleveland Cavaliers, LeBron James went 3-of-9 on step-back threes. Four years later, we’re just 27 games into the season and James is already 17-of-32 on the same shot. I'm not sure if that volume makes this worthy of opposing scouting reports, but it belongs in there. It's at once demoralizing and a relief, a form of self-preservation that seemingly lets whoever’s guarding him exhale and wipe sweat from their forehead.

I’ve never defended LeBron one-on-one, but can imagine how glad it’d be after realizing he didn’t want to bulldoze his shoulder through my chest and dunk my whole being into oblivion. But three points are also more than two, and the threat of him careening into the paint makes the step back unguardable. It’s also the perfect counter for defenders who beat James to his spot and cut off his drive.

LeBron’s embrace of the three-point line isn’t new—nor is the step-back, which he’s pulled out of his bag from various distances in big spots throughout his career—but the pure, undisguised awareness of it is. If a path exists for him to get behind the line, even when presented with a runway to the rim, that’s what he’ll usually go down.

If you include his step-back jumpers inside the arc, LeBron’s effective field goal percentage on these shots is 71.9. (Last year it was 53.3.) Sometimes they have a comical effect, especially to those who remember how LeBron’s outside shot was treated by defenses earlier in his career, up until the San Antonio Spurs begged him to pull up—the hesitancy that came of it was the closest LeBron's ever come to feeling mortal. Now, he’s so damn comfortable out there. In the clip above, watch him completely dismiss Aaron Gordon, then barely leave his feet to drill the straightaway three. Old LeBron is Adapting LeBron, toying with the competition, taking his sweet ass time, and still evolving in his 16th season. Lord have mercy.

The Wedgie Rule

This is all-time Outlet Pass pedantry and has probably already been a topic of conversation elsewhere, but when a player's shot gets stuck between the rim and the backboard (a.k.a. a wedgie), why is there a jump ball? Why should the team that shot the ball be rewarded with a second opportunity? This doesn't make any sense. The offense did not do what they were supposed to do. The defense, however, prevented the ball from going into the basket. Give the defense possession!

Coach Cam

Last weekend, for only a few minutes, I found myself watching Duke basketball. While the game was being played, the announcers couldn't stop talking about Zion Williamson, who wasn't playing. So the camera cut to him live, sitting on the bench, watching the same action I was.

It was a little strange, but sparked an idea: What if you could opt into that same feature during an NBA broadcast, except instead of players on the bench, you'd get a zoomed-in look at each head coach? I would pay extra money for those facial expressions, to observe how they'd react to each pass, shot, and whistle. Think about how much you could learn by scanning their body language and, from there, deducing what their team should've done vs. what they did? It’d be 10,000 times more instructive than a sideline interview, and I very much hope that someday it becomes a real thing.

Jalen Brunson is...Lefty Lowry?

Jalen Brunson is a 22-year-old rookie, which, contrary to popular belief, actually doesn’t make him a puddle of toxic waste. He's solid, has room to grow, and, based on very little besides the fact that they attended the same school, are both strong as hell and were overlooked on their respective draft nights, why can’t he also be the next Kyle Lowry? Brunson sets great screens, makes smart passes, and plays with a scrappy fearlessness on both ends that partially mitigates his lack of gravity.

When Lowry entered the league he didn’t have a three-point shot. Brunson was only 9-for-33 from deep heading into Wednesday night's win over the Atlanta Hawks, despite shooting just under 40 percent in three years at Villanova. But that hardly defines his contribution. Minutes have been sparse off one of the league's most effective benches, but as Dennis Smith, Jr.'s temporary replacement in the starting lineup, Brunson has come equipped with a nifty floater and Metal Gear Solid off-ball movement along the baseline; he already makes the little Marcus Smart-esque plays that impact winning. The Mavericks have absolutely owned the defensive glass when Brunson is on the floor and box-outs like the one below on Sheck Wes Iwundu help clarify why that is:

There was also one play against the Houston Rockets that really stood out, where Brunson challenged P.J. Tucker off the dribble, then separated with a short baseline turnaround along the baseline. Not too many (zero?) rookie point guards are making this play right here.

As the reigning NCAA Player of the Year, a two-time national champion, and someone who clearly isn't fazed by the NBA, Brunson deserves more minutes in the Mavericks's rotation, and to be taken more seriously as an important part of their exciting young core. Hopefully, after DSJ comes back, Rick Carlisle can figure out a way to keep him on the floor.

Julius Randle’s Defense is Still Not Good

As an anachronistic big who’s useless outside the paint, Julius Randle has turned himself into an efficient and useful offensive player. Since he replaced Nikola Mirotic in the starting lineup on an apparent full-time basis, Randle has put up numbers worthy of All-NBA consideration in a six-game sample size.

“If you look at his numbers as a starter and what he’s done, it’s definitely something we have to sit down and talk about,” Pelicans head coach Alvin Gentry said, when asked if Randle’s role would permanently change.

But the Pelicans lost three of those games. And for the fourth consecutive season, Randle remains thoroughly detrimental to his team’s defense. While his All-Universe teammate Anthony Davis ranks first among power forwards in Defensive Real Plus-Minus, Randle is 91st out of 93 players. When Davis cleans up Randle’s mess (a.k.a. they play together), the Pelicans rank just outside the top-10 in defensive rating. When Randle is out there without Davis, they fall to 24th (which, coincidentally, is where New Orleans ranks overall).

None of this is a coincidence. As a bullish but undersized center, Randle doesn’t have the wingspan or intuitive awareness to affect plays as a help defender. Opponents almost shoot 60 percent at the rim when he’s near it, and so much of that number is thanks to late rotations from the weak side. According to Cleaning the Glass, New Orleans’s defensive free-throw rate ranks 23rd when he’s on the court and second (second!) when he sits. Plays like this illustrate why.

Instead of stopping Andre Drummond’s roll and forcing Reggie Jackson to either skip the ball to the opposite corner or get swallowed whole by Davis’s pressure, Randle gambles for the steal and is, per usual, a split-second slow. Sometimes he doesn’t bother to rotate at all. It’s impossible to ignore someone with Randle’s numbers, but over the long-haul Gentry may want to reconsider how his new big man’s flaws tangibly negate those impressive counting stats.

For all the rambunctious good he does when New Orleans has the ball, Randle’s game was designed to give it right back on the very next play. It’s unfair to call his stats empty, but it's also unclear how the totality of his contribution amounts to a winning player, and if the Pelicans make the playoffs, teams will go out of their way to attack him ad nauseam.

Jaylen Brown Should Dominate His New Role

As a starter, Jaylen Brown has been one of the most disappointing players in the entire league. Off the bench, he’s been a Rottweiler. Against the Pelicans on Monday night, the Boston Celtics were without Al Horford, Gordon Hayward, and Kyrie Irving, among others, but Brad Stevens still chose to bring Brown off the bench, a notable decision that forecasts long-term placement in that role. So far, for him and the team, that’s been a good thing.

Both sample sizes are extremely small (like, three or four games) and against weak competition (the Cavaliers, Knicks, and Bulls, for example), but Boston’s new starting five—which has Marcus Morris and Marcus Smart replacing Brown and Hayward—is +6 in 48 minutes, with an offense that annihilates everything in its path. The unit has a more natural hierarchy and is absent the uncertain selflessness seen from the original starting five (a group that still needs to figure each other out if the Celtics want to reach the Finals, by the way).

For now, though, Brown looks terrific. Just look at his starter vs. reserve splits, courtesy of Basketball-Reference. (On top are his 19 games as a starter.)

via Basketball-Reference

While minutes are basically the same, Jaylen is thinking less than before, and, as one of the most athletic players in the world, he's finally getting to the free-throw line! As a starter, 13.3 percent of his points came at the line. As a reserve, that number has climbed up to 22.2 percent. Brown is attacking the paint without hesitation, off pin-downs and flairs and catch-and-accelerate line drives. He’s turning the corner with ease, jacking up more threes off-the-bounce, and generally resembling the free and confident blue chipper he was six months ago.

Big picture, moving Brown to the bench lets the Celtics (when healthy) start the second and fourth quarter with units that feature him, Hayward, Terry Rozier, Aron Baynes/Daniel Theis/Time Lord, and Semi Ojeleye (or literally any one of the starters). That is uncut ridiculousness and, from a talent standpoint, unmatched by every other team in basketball.

Sometimes Jaylen’s aggressiveness gets the best of him and there are two or three possessions in every game since he’s returned where his tunnel vision eclipses the correct play. But the Celtics will accept sequences like the one below—where Brown drives into a scrambling Knicks defense to draw the foul instead of kicking out to a wide-open Jayson Tatum in the strong-side corner—over those where he’s timid, limp, and forgettable.

Brown is a key part of the Celtics future, both as a trade asset and member of their ceiling-free young core. He was always too talented to stay in the slump that plagued his start, but even though 58 percent from deep isn't sustainable over the next few months, it’s crucial that he rediscovers the active, loose, and carefree elements of a skill-set that are always fun to watch.

Checking Up on the NBA’s Five Worst Contracts

Remember the amnesty provision? That hilariously cruel mulligan each NBA franchise was awarded by collective bargaining negotiations just after the turn of the decade? Back then, long before the salary cap spiked, the length of a contract had enough power to prevent an entire fanbase from knowing how “hope” or “joy” truly felt. But now “bad contract” is almost an oxymoron. They still have the power to restrict flexibility but none are definitively untradable. Not every team needs to shed someone from their books, though there are a few deals that already/will inevitably keep general managers up at night. Here are the five worst.

1. Andrew Wiggins - $146.6 million through 2023

Wiggins may still become a quality NBA player, but nobody should argue against him being first on this list. He turns 24 in February, is already in his fifth season, has never come close to making an All-Star team and doesn’t project to ever do so. If someone asked “what’s your favorite Andrew Wiggins moment?” could you even name one? He’s barely making 40 percent of his two-point shots and is ten percent less accurate at the rim than he was a year ago.

There has been no progress as a rebounder, defender, or playmaker, and aside from the uptick in threes and changing hairstyle, he’s the exact same person today that he was when Cleveland drafted him first overall. That player possesses unteachable athletic gifts and is not astonishingly terrible, but how many first-round picks would the Timberwolves need to attach if they wanted to get off it? Two? Good luck to whichever team is paying Wiggins the $33.3 million he's due in 2023.

Until then, the Timberwolves are an independent record label that bet the farm on an incoherent Soundcloud rapper who isn’t gregarious, seductive, or talented enough to infiltrate the mainstream. It’s a sunk cost, and an embarrassing one at that.

2. John Wall - $188.5 million through 2023—including a player option

While there’s a small chance Wiggins actually improves through the life of his current contract, the same can’t be said about Wall, who, while not close to bad, isn’t young or consistently healthy enough to transform his game for the better. Wall is 28 years old but turns 32 right before the $46.8 million player option on this contract transforms whichever city he’s living in to Pompeii circa 79 A.D.

While his numbers remain All-Star caliber and his speed off a high screen is too blurry to comprehend, Wall's outside shooting has regressed, and for the first time since his rookie year the Wizards are better on offense when he's not on the floor. To justify this contract, Wall either needs to be the best player on his team, or the side-kick to someone good enough to make the Wizards a title contender. Right now neither is true. That’s a pretty big problem that doesn’t even speak to Wall's penchant for taking plays off on the other end, impersonating a statue whenever a shot goes up as his man rushes by to tip in the miss or grab the rebound. (He averages a comical 0.3 box outs per game, while averaging just over 34 minutes a night. Yikes.)

There’s a reason trading this version of Wall is so difficult, and, to be frank, wouldn't be easy even if his contract weren't a grand piano dangling overhead by a strand of dental floss. He's a point guard in decline, with weaknesses that don't mesh with the league's most irreversible trends. I personally enjoy watching him play, but that's because I'm not a 12-year-old Wizards fan.

3. Dion Waiters - $36.3 million through 2021

So, like, is Dion Waiters ever going to play again? His most recent game was December 22, 2017, and there’s no timetable for his return from [checks notes] instability in the left ankle. The dollar amount on this one isn’t a cap crippler, but $36.3 million is a lot of money to pay someone not to play, and couldn't strike the fear of God into anyone when he was 100 percent healthy. I wonder if/when the Miami Heat stretch Waiters and move on.

4. Nicolas Batum - $76.6 million through 2022—including a player option

While Kemba Walker demolishes defenses with a late-career leap that’s comparable to those made recently by Steph Curry and Isaiah Thomas, the Charlotte Hornets are quietly good enough to ignore those all-too-frequent nights when Nicolas Batum doesn't show up. Last night he scored two points in 30 minutes and it didn't even feel like an outlier. His usage has plummeted and he's averaging nearly five fewer minutes than he has throughout the previous six seasons. Batum isn’t finishing at the rim or hitting above-the-break threes, either. This is a problem.

"That's my job, to help him take his offense to another level, become more of a playmaker, more usage. That will take our offense to another level," Hornets head coach James Borrego said when I asked him about Batum's dwindling production. "We've been pretty good offensively so far. Kemba's usage has been pretty high all season. We're trying to balance out the roster right now and how we're playing offensively."

It's not like Batum has been bad, but he just clearly isn't what the Hornets prayed he'd be when they signed him to this contract. His PER is a career low 11.9 and, despite being more efficient than previous years, is not even averaging nine points a night. He turns 30 tomorrow. There are so many red flags; nothing about Batum's season is particularly uplifting for a Charlotte organization that's smashing piggy banks to prepare for Walker's looming payday.

Instead of peaking, Batum turning into dust.

5. Chris Paul - $159.7 million through 2022

This take might accelerate global warming, but Paul's contract is already an anvil. He's a six-foot point guard who turns 34 in May. There's no historical precedent for this type of player being an All-Star, and there are still three more guaranteed years left the on deal. He's currently averaging the fewest points per shot in his entire career, and Houston's offense is just so-so when he's on the court. Bleh.

Paul can still skate to his signature spots and create enough space for himself from the mid-post. Every so often he'll drill a step-back three or dribble a defender out of their Nikes, but that's few and far between relative to how impressive Paul looked last year. He's banged up, and that's a reasonable excuse. But at this price point there are no asterisks; Paul needs to play at a superstar level, and his struggle equals doom for a Rockets organization that desperately needs him to shine.

It's unclear how Houston's new ownership would feel if Daryl Morey traded Paul, but that's one of two short-term options for a team that entered the season with championship expectations. How much longer can Paul’s post-prime last? What could they get for him if it became clear they wanted to move on? This is a little silly. Paul deserves the benefit of the doubt because he's an all-time legend. But if they regain health, don't turn things around, and either miss the playoffs or get bounced in the first round, major changes feel like they'll be right around the corner.

Honorable mention: Chandler Parsons, Russell Westbrook, Blake Griffin, Kevin Love

The Outlet Pass: All Hail LeBron's Step-Back Three published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/

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