#which isn’t better or worse (im not gonna get into ALL of it now) but diff

[ironunderstands]

2.1 was so good holy shit (spoilers, obviously)

GOD THEY ATE AND IM SPECIFICALLY GONNA TALK ABOUT HOW WELL THEY WROTE RATIO IN THIS BECAUSE IM FOAMING AT THE GODDAMN MOUTH IT CHANGES HOW YOU VIEW EVERYTHING BUT IN A GOOD WAY.

so, let’s start from the beginning in 2.0 I want to walk you through my experience of it

ratio mean to aventurine, everyone gets mad. I feel weird about it, pre-2.1 I come to the conclusion that he got used as a plot device in that scene, since being racist contradicts his core motivations and the dialogue is awkward and has no real reason behind it, I chalk it up to bad writing but ultimately forgive it because 2.1 seems centered around Aventurine so they need setup for that

2.1 drops, my bsf plays the update throughout the night and we are losing our shit. He gets to the part where Ratio “betrays” Aventurine. I fucking lose it, I try to reconcile this with my preconceived notions of ratio, they don’t match up at all, his behavior that whole time doesn’t in the slightest. I am confused, I wonder if I have been wrong about him this whole time, if his whole speech on the Space Station and his character quests were some kind of fluke. I mean it could be in character? Knowledge of how a stellaron works could save millions if not billions of lives, invaluable information which Ratio would have trouble turning down because of its value. It still feels deeply wrong, Ratio isnt a backstabber, and he wouldn’t so easily bargain with Sunday over information he has no confirmation of (and could likely obtain in some other way).

The story continues, me and Haseeb (aforementioned best friend) are still pissed, I’m losing it because my favorite character just did something so unforgivable and out of character and I feel like a complete and utter idiot for interpreting a character to be a good person when they so clearly weren’t. Well, I (luckily) was so so so so so so so wrong about that, as it was all a setup, a plan devised by Aventurine to distract Sunday and forward their goals. I’ve never been happier, and suddenly every weird behavior, every “this doesn’t make sense” goes from “bad writing” to perhaps one of my favorite retroactive twists in fiction.

Ratio belittling Aventurine for his background doesn’t make any sense, I mean we literally saw the guy give a whole ass speech about how he believes all people deserve access to knowledge and that everyone is capable of being creative and having intellect, but that they just have to try for it, and if they are incapable of it, he DOCTOR Ratio is there to lend a helping hand. To cure the galaxy of stupidity, something which he views as not the lack of knowledge but rather the misuse and misinterpretation of it, how he depises the Genius Society because they mostly do not try and use their intellect from the betterment of other, and actively guide/encourage other scientists (and in Hertas case the researchers at the space station) to view knowledge as some sort of prize or commodity rather than tool. This notion is what causes Screwellum to acknowledge that Ratio is more like a medical doctor than a scholar. And this notion is something Sunday Isn’t Aware Of.

Sunday doesn’t know who Ratio really is, he may have heard of his various exploits, but Ratio has a reputation for arrogance, bluntness and insensitivity, something which Ratio plays up to the nines. The 2.0 scene with Aventurine goes from seemingly massively OOC for Ratio to him actively playing up his negative reputation to play into Sundays perceptions of the pair for their plan. Ratio->

a) makes it seem like Aventurine fucked up and he’s mad at him for losing the cornerstones, something which Sunday would see and go “hmm they don’t like each other

b) this “oh I can drive a wedge between them” notion gets worse (although in their case better) when Ratio brings up Aventurine’s (not entirely accurate) background. Sunday now thinks he has leverage over Aventurine and even more of a chance of getting Ratio to betray him. Ratio also makes it seem like he just learned this information by stating he “did his homework” and this supposed unfamiliarity with one another would give Sunday more confidence to try and drive a wedge between them

c) this makes it seem like the IPC are unaware of the Families constant surveillance, as it looks like they are having an important conversation in a private room, which would make Sunday think they are unaware of his eyes and ears everywhere

Now let me qualify this notion with more evidence because you could still try and argue that the deal Ratio and Aventurine struck was post 2.0 argument

Topaz (my glorious Queen). At the end of the 1.4 (or was it 1.5?) Belabog quest she has a conversation with Aventurine in which he requests for her help in Penacony, and we do not get a confirmation on if she said yes or not. Until 2.1, in which the the Topaz (and Jade) stone in in Aventurines possession, meaning she took him up on that offer prior to 2.0 because how else would he bring multiple cornerstones there, which we know there are many because Ratio says he lost the cornerstones, not just his own. Topaz would not give this item up easily or on a whim in between 2.0 and 2.1, meaning she would have to be let in on his plan prior, meaning the plan was formed prior. Since Ratio was also assigned to this mission keeping him in the dark would make negative sense and actively undermine their collaboration, something which he brings up in their fake argument

2. The Final Victory Lightcone. I originally thought this scene to be after their argument for complicated reasons, the most important of which being the minor snippet of conversation we see between Ratio and Aventurine during the first time we meet Acheron. Aventurine mentions 3 chips, Ratio doubts him, and the lightcone description starts with Aventurine questioning his doubt and firing three shots, a perfect correlation that made me place the order of events in that way. However, we get to see the snippet of conversation between Aventurine and Ratio in game, right before they meet Sunday, not prior to the lightcone events. However, they are still clearly connected for aforementioned reasons, just in a different manner, let me explain. Now we know the three chips reference not bullets but the three cornerstones, and Ratio openly expresses his doubt because the family is always watching (something which I will get into) and because a part of him does doubt this plan will go well. However, Aventurine prior reminds him of the events of the lightcone with the three chips. My interpretation is that Aventurine took that gamble in the lightcone to convince Ratio to go along with his crazy plan since if he can win a game of Russian Roulette with an unwavering smile on his face he an insane gamble means nothing to him (ratio doesn’t buy it because it’s ratio but the sheer audacity or you could say the “charming audacity” makes him go along with it). In my opinion this scene only makes sense pre-penacony, due to the timeline of events, which is why I believe it the reason for the events in it has to be Aventurine trying to convince Ratio to join in.

3) The family is always watching. During the 2.1 story quest it gets brought up several times in many different ways that it seems like the family has eyes on everything and everyone. Sunday’s fuckass bird is everywhere, and the man himself (minus being a goddamn biblically accurate angel) is covered in eye shaped shit and possesses close ties with the Harmony, which lends itself well to a character that knows things considering the Aeon itself is a conglomeration of many different perspectives. He fucking perception checks Aventurine, when the crew goes to look for info on firefly they learn the dream pools monitor people’s vitals and everything, even producing a dialogue option where the trailblazer states they feel like their every move is being watched. Topaz gets stalked by bloodhound members upon arrival, I could go on. TLDR Sunday knows almost everything that’s going on in Penacony, this is what leads him to believe the traitor is within the family, and his access to knowledge is something the IPC 100% knows about. I mean they have been presumably attempting to try and get it back for a while, and they would reasonably extensively try and learn everything about it. The Family notoriously hates negotiating with them so the IPC either learning and/or coming to the conclusion that the Family is watching their every move isn’t a ridiculous notion. If this conversation was genuine, if Ratio truly wanted to discuss this matter with Aventurine, why would he do it in a likely wiretapped, not very soundproof room where any passerby could hear Ratio loudly exclaim that Aventurine lost the very important cornerstones and that he is also one of the most despised groups in the galaxy because that would really do numbers for both their reputations. If you think about it, this not being staged is an incredibly stupid blunder on Ratio’s end (minus the deliberate OOCness) because of all the places Ratio could set up a very important meeting he does it in one of the worst places ever.

4) The dialogue in the scene. It’s awkward, it’s so awkward and the whole “also my family died I didn’t get an education” seemed so tacked on the first time I watched it. Knowing now, it seemed so tacked on because it was, Aventurine had to shove the info in there somewhere and their incredible conversational skills decided that was the best part in there. Ratio fucking leaving before Aventurine is even done talking goes from a “huh weird” to a “wow he is really playing up this arrogant scholar role”. And if Ratio is playing the arrogant scholar, Aventurine is playing the dumb, helpless, blonde to a T. Losing the cornerstones and acting nonchalant about it, letting Ratio insult him so callously and letting the insults slide, talking absolute nonsense at the end about random things that don’t matter, sadly lamenting into the distance that he’s alone again. Bro is playing it up and I live for it. They also and play up these personas in their little adventure prior to meeting Sunday, Aventurine asks stupid questions like wondering about the species of the bird that make up the statues and talking about how he wants to play in the sandpit and even insulting Sunday a bit, behavior that would make Sunday think him unprepared and unserious rather than cold and calculating. If Aventurine does that well, Ratio plays up his arrogant, uncaring scholar persona to the nines. He insults any and every decision or thing Aventurine does, loudly sighing of how happy he is to finally have some peace and quiet when Aventurine leaves his sight for 0.00008 milleseconds, pointing out his sarcasm, beefing with a random Pepeshi bodyguard no reason, pointing out his sarcasm, just the exaggerated way he talks in general, and suggesting he admit Aventurine into the Genius Society (even Ratio wouldn’t stoop so low as to suggest Aventurine was worthy of that).

Moreover, this is really, really tragic because I do think there are several moments of genuine banter and fun the two share “Ratio, you’re huge!” was not added to the script to enhance the plot guys. And obviously Aventurine knows most of Ratios behavior is acting, however he has such severe trust issues, and Ratio is so damn straightforward and blunt that he worries the man was serious about some of it which just breaks my heart. Soft Ratio please add it give me one conversation, the note at the end of 2.1 doesn’t count it’s too short.

Ultimately, knowing what I know now I can’t help but view the 2.0 conversation with Aventurine as being anything but staged, it simply makes no sense otherwise, and it happily obsolescent Ratio of his sins. This was a bit incoherent I honestly just wanted to rant (if you couldn’t tell haha) but I hope you enjoyed it regardless. I need sincere Ratio more then I need oxygen and I’m not afraid to say it.

#honkai star rail #hsr spoilers #aventurine #dr ratio #aventio #i love 2.1

[onlyjaeyun]

i’ve been following ur writing for some time now and i do have to agree with that anon who said you did CH dirty. you are a very talented writer so it’s just hard to watch.

you started off CH so strong with the lore and little chapters here and there but as it progressed you kind of just got lazy and it shows. when important events happened in the story, they weren’t conveyed through writing but through the texts (ie the riki and yn fight, that was definitely worth a written chapter) and it was honestly disappointing.

the ending isn’t much to say about either. yn and hoon barely go through development after the letter incident and all of a sudden they’re dating and married with a kid like two chapters later?

idk, if it was a mental health issue then i get that but even then you should’ve just gave it a break and thought everything out more. you could do so much better.

thank you for the feedback!

i wanna put you through the progess of a piece of writing from the POV of a writer okay? now keep in mind: i work two jobs, am a fulltime uni student and the daughter of an immigrant household with two parents who still work most of the day just so you know what else i have to deal with, besides my mental health okay?

now, i started off CH strong right? yes. i uploaded on the daily, fine i chose that. a chapter usually takes me around one hour if i actually sit down and focus on nothing but the chapter itself, which includes IG stories, editing, formatting etc. alright

on top of the daily chapters, i constantly replied to 40+ asks a day, a blessing in disguise because no matter how much i enjoy talking to you guys, the pressure does get worse the bigger that number of my inbox becomes, i hope this makes sense

now, i started CH back in october, right when my semester started, thats why i started off strong but as time went on, my assignments and private life got too busy and i guess i felt entitled enough as a writer to skip a few certain chaps and make life a little easier for me by making them regular chapters instead of written ones.

and this is gonna be my main point: i'm not a machine. i wrote a minimum of 5 THOUSAND words per written chapter, MINIMUM. we're talking about a 5-9 THOUSANDED worded chapter EACH WEEK. which usually took me about 6-7 hours, even allnighters.

yes, i chose to do that and maybe my time management wasn't the best but i had to create a compromise where i wouldnt have let you guys wait for over two months which would have resulted in me losing my motivation completely, and yet still focusing on EXAMS. because you know, i'm a fulltime uni student with TWO jobs 😮‍💨

if YOU think i did CH dirty go write an alternative ending yourself but it should be a minimum of 15 chapters including 5 written ones, with at LEAST 9k words each yeah? i wanna see you manage it all, pls prove me wrong snd show me you're better than me i'm genuinely begging bc it might inspire me to do "better" next time.

as a writer/artist/creator, and i can tell you probably arent one yourself or havent been one for long, the longer smth takes to come to an end the worse the pressure becomes which results in a blockage i dont wish upon my worst enemy i'm being deadass. i dealt with some of the worst writer's block ive had since i started writing literally 12 years ago and you're telling me i should have just "taken a break" and do "better"

i never, ever expected anything from anyone but some of you are so entitled to a writer's time and skill it's giving me a headache. maybe you didn't like the timing and writing of the last few chapters of CH and i guess that's unfortunate but this was so unnecessary because you completely dismissed everything else that could have been going on in my life and even belittled my mental health issues like im some fucking AI writing machine

do better, be nicer, write it yourself if you don't like it i'm so fucking over this

if i had gotten out of my own comfort and wellbeing and have actually written another set of written chapters i would have burned myself completely out. ive been in this fandom for not even a year and have already finished FOUR smaus with 50 chapters each, you do NOT get to tell me what i should or could have done better because you dont even give a fuck about me as a person this is just about receiving what YOU think YOURE entitled to but this is MY art and I will do what I see fit even if it's not what was expected of it because i'm a fucking human being with a life before i'm a writer on tumblr

oh, also: i do this for free ㅤ:) just a reminder :) this is my HOBBY :)

and don't you EVER call me lazy again when it comes to writing because i'm not gonna pour my heart and soul into a fic just for you to call me lazy when i literally wrote 50 THOUSAND words for this fucking fic just for the written chapters

goodbye

#; mailbox 📬 #; cold hearts

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Ok a rant about Cerri bomb and how much I HATE her

In the addict music video she was a very supportive friend of Angel and I loved her in the pilot! I wish we got that supportive best friend to Angel in the final product, but unfortunately she is a woman in a vivziepop show.

She’s AWFUL now I can’t stand her, the way she tried to make Angel relapse was so weird like pilot cherri wouldn’t do that! I also really dislike her design it has to be one of my personal least favourites (not the bottom though nothing is worse than alastors design to me) she isn’t enjoyable to watch anymore she had potential if she’d only been introduced earlier! Imagine if she was introduced in episode 4 and played the supportive friend she was originally supposed to be!

And GOD I hate her ship with pentious, it was SO RUSHED, so poorly done and the ship isn’t very “so cute and in love!!” When you remember she showed literally NO interest in him until Angel brought up that he has 2 dicks, and this is supposed to be a romantic relationship we CARE about.

Cherri didn’t need a romantic relationship she needed CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT we needed to get to know her! If you’ve only seen the show and no other Hazbin media at all (which shouldn’t be required you should be able to get all your info FROM THE SHOW) you’d barely know anything about her character or who she is. I wish we got pilot cherri bomb, and that she got a design update, and that her and pent’s relationship was either taken slower or didn’t happen at all

You silly little creature you, you have me writing in my notes app instead of Tumblr because I’m about to go crazy!

Cherri Bomb. More like Cherri what the hell happened

Anyway I’m gonna tackle this one thing at a time, and also forgive me if I word something weird I just woke up an hour ago at the time of writing this.

First thing, design: I personally quite like her design since it very loosely reminds me of Iris from Ruby Gloom with ofc the one eye, the very rowdy personality and kind of the hair, but those are very broad design choices and its just me remembering some random girl I thought was silly but like Iris did it better.

Okay now second thing and then we go into literally everything else: My blog has been an angry pit of despair for everything in Episode 6 as of recent so let’s tap into that again 🤏 just a little. I am going to give my classic centrist opinion and say I don’t mind Cherri Bomb all that much but I absolutely get why people dislike her, and I mean this in the kinda way as people who dislike… Idk Fukuchi from BSD. WILD jump in fandoms but gimme a second. I can’t 100% say that Cherri Bomb in the pilot was better than the series since we have no idea if maybe for some reason she was intended to be like that offscreen, but judging by the pilot and “Addict” alone, it’s very unlikely. I could see her maybe being a bad influence at times and being like “Loosen up dude we’re in hell and its Friday” or something (idk if they have Friday in hell but everyday is probably Monday 🥁) but overall I feel like she’d end up apologising for it. However on the other side of things, I can understand why Cherri did that in Episode 6. Of course not to say this is okay, but Cherri is still very clearly not in the “redemption” mindset. She’s happy the way she is and is really only focused on certain aspects of issues. We see her comfort Angel in “Addict” but thats basically the extent of it. Cherri’s definition of “self-care” seems to be less of actually taking care of yourself and more like just letting go and having fun instead which really only gives a momentary fix to the issue, much like how substances can be abused. Do you kinda see what im getting at? Cherri offering Angel drugs while he’s trying not to relapse is not okay, full stop. But her reasoning as to why makes a bit of sense for her purpose in the show which is honestly not much, since, as you said, she is a woman in a Vivziepop show.

To my knowledge Cherri is like 30-ish years younger than Angel Dust in Hell experience so she’s likely not reached a point where she’s gotten tired of how things work, as well as the fact we don’t really have much of an idea on her backstory aside from that random shot in “Addict” of that guy in a puddle??? But generally she seems to be in a better position than Angel is, so there isn’t really any reason for her to want to change, yknow? I will say I do like exploring characters that are good friends while still being bad influences at times, but I’m going to be honest I feel like thats really not what Angel needs right now. I wouldn’t be as pissy about it if she did end up apologising afterwards (I’m just gonna headcanon she did for my sanity) but even then as Angel’s friend we don’t know like… anything about her. I would’ve really liked to get some kind of callback to the pilot where Cherri mentions she thought Angel was dead until the random Sir Pentious turf war, and maybe we could see her actually being worried about Angel again instead of those 3 frames in “Addict”, but Hazbin is rushed and I guess we don’t have time for that. And also YES it would’ve been great to see her in Episode 4 and actually doing something but again, Vivziepop is boring.

Going forward I would really like to see Cherri, if not become a patron, at least try to be a better friend and sure if she wants to keep doing stuff she can keep doing it, but just don’t encourage other people to relapse. It is very simple.

SIR PENTIOUS! About Sir Pentious, this is going to be incredibly short. I don’t hate the ship but also I’m not really crazy about any of the Hazbin Hotel ships? I also don’t really hate any except for the genuinely horrid ones but thats basic sense. I absolutely agree with you, Cherri does not need a romantic interest. Romance doesn’t always = growth and growth should not always = romance. She needs some genuine character TLC and I hope to god she gets some in season 2. We’ve only seen a few minutes of her so I have yet to give a firm opinion, but as of now I’m just hoping they do something actually interesting with her instead of just alluding to Sir Pentious ship. Also the penis thing. 1. What was that, and 2. It made me and my friends briefly pause to sex Sir Pentious and come to the conclusion he is likely transgender/hj

TLDR; Please give us a fun Cherri Bomb again. ☹️

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin critical #hazbin hotel rewrite #cherri bomb #cherri hazbin hotel #cherri bomb hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel cherri bomb #hazbin cherri bomb #angel dust #hazbin angel #hazbin angel dust #angel dust hazbin #hazbin sir pentious #hazbin hotel pentious #hazbin pentious #sir pentious #cherri x sir pentious #raimble

[jungwonderz]

SECRET IDOL EXTRA - chanyn hangout

desc ; in which yn has a secret stan acc , and lee know finds it under his alias : lino. nothing could go wrong when the two idols meet under different identities and start talking to one another, right?

wc ; 558 (not proofread)

as soon as chan opens the passenger door to yn’s black BMW , he was immediately greeted with the smell of lavender and the sound of ‘the lakes’ playing. “finally , the great bang chan decides to arrive 7 minutes late.” yn says as she checks the time accompanied by a playful smirk. “you’re acting like you weren’t just late to your practice, and now you have to get dinner for everyone. so shut up and start driving.” chan retorts back in a quiet voice. even though he thought he said it quietly, yn could still hear it perfectly fine, seeing as he wasn’t as quiet as he thought. yn gasps dramatically as she says something about him being so sassy today, while she turns up her music and starts to drive to the cafe. “don’t even mention that tragic event again… they all want fried chicken and dumplings. and what’s even worse is that i have to drive them too! but hopefully the staff won’t let me drive, so maybe one of them will drive.” yn stops to take a breath then continues. “it’s horrible, they all act like hungry animals who have never eaten in their life when i have to pay for things.” yn continued. chan laughs at yn’s ‘tragic’ event as he opens his phone to be greeted with spam messages from the straykids groupchat.

a while later, they are still driving in the car with the only sounds being heard are; yn humming, taylor swift’s evermore album playing, and chan typing and occasionally laughing or sighing. that is until chan says, “your driving actually isn’t bad. i thought this was gonna be my revenge for not giving you lee knows number.” yn does a little shrug and says “nah, im not worried about that. anyways, how is your little mischievous undercover twitter account going?” chan stays silent for a while. “i dont know,” he murmured. “its not like i was actually trying to get followers or make friends. i just wanted see how and what stay were doing, buuuutt it seems like i never get what i want.” he finishes, before picking up his phone to check the account.

yn makes a confused face, but before she could ask a question chan changes the topic and says “turn left here, why aren’t you paying attention?” she softly hits him on the shoulder in a playful matter and says “oh im sorry sir chan, would you like to drive on the way back since you are so much better at driving than me?” she jokes. chan looks at her weird and says “maybe i will if you continue to risk me getting in a accident. i have to prepare for a comeback.” yn rolls her eyes and is about to say how her driving isn’t even bad, but they already made it to the cafe and she decides to stay quiet and focused to find parking.

a few minutes after, they found parking and are walking into the cafe with masks on so no one recognizes them. “could you order for us while i get seats?” yn pleaded. “there’s a certain seat i like to get in here and i want to take it before anyone gets it!” she says while getting her card out to give to chan. “ugh fine just go you loser.” he says playfully as yn smiles and goes to find the seat.

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a/n - i suck at writing so nobody talk abt that😓 but also this was just a filler so yeaa!!

taglist - open, bold cant be tagged. @lcv3lies @m111nho @nikisbf @aroyaldarknessblr @felinows

#sserafimez;work #sserafimez #sri #sri;lk🎤 #sri;chp #secret idol🎤 #lee know #lee know x y/n #lee know fluff #skz lee know #lee know x you #lee know x reader #lee know smau #lee know angst #skz scenarios #skz smau #skz fanfic #skz x you #skz fluff #stray kids smau #stray kids lee know #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x reader #stray kids x you

[oifaaa]

Please tell me how Roy’s characterisation was massacred for N52.

I understand how Jason and Roy’s relationship can be annoying where Roy never questions Jason and just follows him around blindly, never second guessing him. Roy is hard on himself and lacks self esteem and so thinks highly of Jason when really he should be angry, maybe even jealous of the power (all caste magic) Jason has. Then i get confused because I’d think someone going through a bout of depression and self hate and self medicating would have low self esteem and would think everyone is better than them and that they are a fuck up so isn’t that accurate portrayal of how awful Roy’s situation is?? Doesn’t that show the way Roy struggles just as he has pre N52?

Additionally Jason always compliments Roy on his greatness and abilities (Not in person which is annoying because grr he has to be manly and can’t compliment a friend) but in his little thought bubbles he’s always talking about how great Roy is and how grateful he is to have him.

Now this is where I get more confused because surely Roy respects Jason and through Jason’s monologues he clearly respects Roy though he may not say it out loud. The point is, people exaggerate so much how Roy is used as a crutch for Jason to look cool but Jason is constantly mentioning Roy and how important he is for the team. (Though I won’t deny there are times he may call him a goofball or undermine him but I mean cmon it’s literally ‘Red Hood’ and the outlaws, not ‘Titans’ where they’re equals, so it’s understandable that Jason would have swords and magic and stuff and save the day whilst Roy is not the main character). Idk I just haven’t noticed Roys character being MASSACRED when he’s with Jason.

People say Roy’s biggest trauma is having to be with Jason but I don’t know why that’s so bad like don’t just say it’s shit writing, fucking give me the evidence. (Sorry for the rant no offense to you what so ever). If the writing is so bad then blame the writer idk why Jason gets so much hate.

Anyway, please tell me how and why Rhato is the worst comics because I don’t think it’s that bad personally and I’d get shit for saying that.

Ps. This isn’t even about JayRoy or Lobdells disgusting history it’s literally just about why Rhato gets so much hate. I’m so confused so please explain /gen.

Thank you, have a nice day :)

Okay im gonna start this off by saying I think your looking at this the wrong way, your treating RHATO as just a stand alone story and if you want to know why people hate it you have to look at it in the broader context of it being a continuation of three different characters stories bc that is what it is - kory Roy and Jason are all pre established characters with rich backgrounds and personalities that have been building up for decades if you ignore these histories your gonna get push back from fans and Lobdell actually took it one step further

I'm gonna be short and sweet with this bc people more knowledgeable about roys character can put it way better then me but lets get straight to the point - the reason why people say Roy harper was massacred in RHATO is bc his whole character was changed- his back story, his relationships, his addiction, a lot of his personality and hell even his tattoos were changed and changed for the worse as a lot of it seemed to get done just to better suit Jason who was also changed a lot by lobdell but not to the extent that Roy was - a lot of it comes off like lobdell didn't even bother to read any comics with Roy in them before he decided to try and shove him into a role that wasn't suited for him which if your a long time Roy fan watching a character you adore get a complete overhaul just so he fits with the character the author uses as a self insert your gonna be a wee bit agitated

When your writing stories in the dc universe you have to be careful as a lot of these characters are main characters in their own right when they team up together sure you can focus on one more then the others but you have to be at least abit aware of each of the characters your including back stories motivations and personalities and what lobdell did was use the fact that the new 52 just happened as an excuse to create whole new characters with the same names as these much loved pre established characters and this rightfully pissed off a lot of people who loved these characters especially bc the things that happened in the n52 have had a lasting effect as these are the comics newer fans are reading and if your favourite character has been given a complete overhaul into a character you no longer recognise too bad a lot of people are gonna go forward only seeing Roy as Jason Todd's side character the guy in the baseball cap

#ask #anon #im one of those people that hate RHATO with a passion #i dont acknowledge it even exists half the time #but yeah if you like RHATO thats fine #nothings stopping you from liking it #just be aware that theres a reason why people dont like these comics #like i didnt even get into kory who imo had it the worst #like all these characters have been damaged by RHATO #but theres definitely a tear system #with jason at the bottom #then roy and at the top kori #and yeah i didnt get into the other stuff that makes RHATO the worst #but this post is already so long #and im not particularly fond of long posts so ill end it here

[comfymoth]

(duckspiderbit anon) It can be nightmarish... but the hilarity of their dynamics combined and the sudden unexpected sweet moments they share at times make them perfect. Would LOVE to hear your thoughts on them btw, I'm very interested :D

anon i just want you to know that i have been trying to answer this ask since i woke up, i just apparently cannot talk about these fuckers without writing a novel, i am So Sorry.

i’m gonna try to be as short as i possibly can (spoiler warning it’s still not short IM SORRY) but like, basically. basically. in my head, right, in the version of events that lives in my head— roier and quackity already have a history. not exactly dating, just fooling around “as friends”, but it makes their friendship now very overly-familiar. they’re very touchy, very flirty, but at this point it’s all just playful. they’re just very comfortable with each other, you know? they’re best friends! and what best friends Aren’t this close, huh?

and cellbit isn’t fully aware of whatever they had going on before he knew them, but he knows there’s something he missed, like an inside joke he’ll never quite understand. and it’s not like that bothers him, exactly? because him and roier are completely secure, there’s never been a couple more fucking obsessed with each other, he knows he has zero reasons to feel threatened. it’s more like— he knows quackity is always going to special to roier, in this weird way, so they are just stuck with him. for better or worse. me and you and your friend steve, just a little bit, that’s kind of the vibe.

but it’s not like quackity and cellbit don’t also have their own share of familiarity. not nearly to the same extent, obviously, but they are familiar. cellbit gave him partial custody of his child, they’ve taken each others sides in disputes over how to raise said child, richas calls quackity pa, they are very much already stuck with each other anyways.

so like. what do you even do with that. right? what do you call your husband’s not-quite-ex and your co-parent, what does that make him to the two of you. and how is that impacted by the fact that he’s always desperately hitting on you both?

so again, in my head, in my head— i think it Has to be a slow burn with them. because quackity has baggage around relationships, right, he’s had a history of chasing romance just because he thinks it will fix him or make him feel something, and he needs time to cool off on that first. now, he never cools off on the flirting, i don’t think he ever physically could, but he needs to be okay with it not going anywhere. and i think spiderbit needs time to warm up to the opposite idea, that it might actually go somewhere. but over time they do. over time, quackity just worms his way into more and more of their life until they’ve basically made him a part of it without saying. they fall into comfortable routines. cellbit gets used to roier and quackity’s teasing, he starts to join in on it. over time, all the joke flirting just stops really being a joke, and all the friendly affection just escalates and escalates until they finally have to acknowledge what they’re doing.

they’re all very stupid about it. cellbit brings it up to roier first, who is somehow embarrassed because he thought they were all just joking and he was the only one catching feelings which he did NOT wanna think too hard about. they have a talk about what this means for them, come to an agreement, bring it up to quackity— who also somehow thought this was a bit and that they were just doing it all to tease him! and then, somehow, they’re both surprised when he says yes, because they couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. morons all around. they do have braincells, they just short circuit when they’re in a room together, it’s very sad and very comical

i actually…. okay, i Actually might’ve started writing the world’s most self indulgent oneshot about them, like… three or four weeks ago? idk, it was before school started so a bit ago, and i’m just never gonna finish it now i’ve accepted that but i Might just turn part of it into a comic. idk. idk we’ll see ahdkdjd if i don’t get too embarrassed to actually do it

anyways i’m sorry i talked so much i just have demons okay i have demons. and i didn’t even TALK about festa junina or “go take care of him” I MADE SO MANY CUTS GUYS I DID!!!!!

#long post #qsmp #duckspiderbit #sure that’s what we can call them. that works

[writinandcrying]

2007 TMNT Movie Review

ok so i watched 2007 movie for the first time (ive read about it and seen some scenes, but never watched the whole thing) anyways finally got a hold of myself and watched it! Specially bc of 3 reasons

1- i need to cuz to fr wtf

2- bc of a certain match up 👀 @melancholysway

3- aaaand I wanted to visualize better a 10 part scenario COF COF @melancholysway hi babe

i decided to write down my comments (i usually dont comment on movies but me and jas talked SO MUCH about it i wanted to do this lmao) basically if you have seen the film (and love it like a certain someone) you will be able to recognize the scenes from the my comments without detailed description, TW spoilers if you havent watched it!

Leo’s voice is HOT. mmhhmmOHMYGOD

Raph's movements and bike scenes are so smooth I love it

“sir im not playing hard to get this is not that kind of phoneline” ON A CHILDRENS MOVIE???????? KHBADKNJLJ

Donnie with his huge ass googles he’s so cute

APRIL???? SHORT HAIR APRIL?? CHANNEL APRIL??? SUIT APRIL??? Move aside Casey im down on one knee

I love the entrance to the lair, also I love when tmnt versions mix like subway stations with he sewers you know? Gives a perception that it isn’t so gloomy where they live and all

“I can’t even sleep without the sound of the subway rumbling above my head, i guess that’s what you get when you grow up on a house full of brothers” soft king we love to see it

Leo jumping out of a plane - AGAIN - like on the bayverse movies, every version he’s an adrenaline rookie istg

Raph diving on the elevator was fucking badass ngtl

SPLINTER SINGING WHILE 1 SECOND AGO THEY WERE ALL BEEFING LMAO PEAK SIBLING REP

Leo mispronouncing nightwatcher like a 40 y/o

Thinking out loud here I kinda wanted to know how they defeated The Shredder tho 

im gonna be honest...... besides rottmnt April..... i dont usually dig her, i always thinks theres some spice laking to her character, (bayverse included, sorry Megan Fox my queen) idk it feels the writers always go for miss perfect with her which doesn't give the character some interesting characteristics besides being "the perfect girl who's also the only one in the group" its lazy writing and it pisses me off. but this April??? i kinda like it! and her 2 LIL BUNS WHILE SHES TRAINING JDNJLA SHES SO CUTE

- “WHAT WAS THAT?” ”did I mention we ran into a monster last night’?” “oh you forgot buddy, did you also forget I only have a WODEN BAT?” im loving this Casey lmao 

“And now we got walking statues??? You got a plan for those?””hey those are a first for me too” WHO WROTE THIS MOVIE

Thinking out loud here part 2 the comeback - Like the only thing I miss is a more mature mikey I think? Everyone sort of grew up and have more mature lines, and he still on the "Yo dude” teenage phase, like idk if feels they all are in their mid/late 20s and Mikey still a 16 y/o :/ I wish writers would give him more development, or more clever lines? like clever pun lines if he's gonna be the comedy relief. anyways the only show I’ve seen doing more than just "dumb funny guy"for mikey is rottmnt 

Warn me next time, I got allergies - Casey I love you fr 

I wish they kept the birthday cake scene cuz the interaction with donnie, splinter aaaand Mikey is priceless

April and Casey apartment tho oh my 

Leo didnt even tell April or Casey that he came back????? bro??

THE DRAMAAAAAA with Raph and Leo omg seriously its like me and my sister but 10 times worse lmao

I love the background music is like… so early 2000s teens movie fhnsjdinaouji I know its an early 2000s teen movie but the music they be listening in the radio IS like.. something you would listen to in “she's the man” soundtrack and it makes it more realistic to the era it was made u feel 

*Makes passive aggressive comment about Raph*” “ok Leo whatever you say no one was talking about him” it goes b u s t e d you are busted

ABSOLUTELY LOVE when the movie starts playing badass music with radio police talking in the background and raph turns to the camera like its the office and simply says “they are playing my song”

Raph being done that Leo first idea when meeting the night watcher was to give him a lecture LMAO

I hate that Leo won the fight but the “good night dark prince” took me ujnnaojnjkl shut up Leonardo oh my god u r annoying *tucks hair*

*un-tucks hair* Bro I SWEAR I hate when Leo on any tmnt say they are better than Raph SHUT UP OH MY GOD

“Dont do this raph” “im done taking orders” PRESIDENTIAL ALERT THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING 10 bucks on Raph 

MY MAN BROKE THE GODDAMN KATANAS YEEEEES RAPHAEEEEEL

*raphs eyes soften after winning* and it was in this moment, he knew he fucked up

*runs away crying after fucking up an argument due angry issues*

Shut up Master Splinter speech to Raph made me emotional 

THE AMOUNT OF FOOT SOLDIERS THEY ARE FIGHTING ON THE PATIO THING 

April and Karai fighting (2 seconds) more culturally significant than the whole renaissance

Mikey and Casey having a special high five and APRIL PINCHING HIS ASS AAAAAAAAAAAA

“I presume this is the vortex for another dimension””cool. I want one” relatable 

Karai helping them - once again im in one knee

Leo did NOT say come to daddy oh my god that’s actually embarrassing

April driving poorly while arguing with Casey and karai + foot soldier in the back barely moving like its their emo children being forced into a family road trip gives me so much joy 

aaaaaand the movie is over! honestly there were some parts i didnt see it coming and udsjnounsoa like the little things they got away with it while being a children movie is surprising, sucks they couldnt make the other 3 movies :(

if you read all of this, first of all thank you and this for you:

#rottmnt #rottmnt fandom #2007 the nightwatcher #tmnt 2007 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles 2007 #tmnt raphael

[littlefroginthegarden]

Sold to Heartsteel 1/24

its a liiiittle bit late but whatever... im trying to write an advents calendar fic, theres some buffer but ill write during the month so im also open to input if you have any good ideas :)

hope you enjoy!

Tags: semi-ironic adaptation of 'sold to one direction' trope so yeah theres obv selling involved, angst, fluff, friendship, romance, maybe smut, mlm, transmasc character, some transphobia but mostly just parents being shit but nothing explicit or slurs or stuff, yeah i think thats about it, ill update this if anything changes xoxo

Part 1

Hi, my name is Hwei and I’m a misunderstood artist. Well, that’s not exactly true. My Parents hate my art and they think it’s just a waste of time. But under the name DemonBrush I’m known all around the world, my art account just recently hit two million followers. Which didn’t help me at all in my real life. I’ve been 18 now for a few months but my parents still act like I’m 16. I haven’t finished school yet and I can’t move out because my anxiety has made working impossible so far. My parents don’t allow me to get therapy or meds and I’m on their insurance so there’s nothing I can do. I sigh and try to think about something else but looking out my small window into the dark December morning isn’t helping. I go and pull the curtains, turn on my fairy lights and sit at my small desk that is crammed between the bed and the heavy wooden dresser. 

My reflection stares at me in the mirror, dark shadows under my amethyst eyes, a sign that I slept terribly, once again. The nightmares wouldn’t leave me alone. I sigh and start doing my makeup, nothing bright, just some smudged dark eyeshadow and black eyeliner on my waterline. My mom was probably gonna complain again but I don’t care. Last week she told me “People might think you’re gay!” Yeah, sure mom. I mean, why do you think I have all these Heartsteel posters hanging in my room? Because I love their one song so much? But when she says "gay" she means "lesbian". She would have an aneurysm if I tried to explain to her that I’m trans. And then she would probably throw me out. As if she could read my thoughts, I hear her shouting from downstairs “Come down immediately, Hwa! I can hear that you’re up.”

Ugh.

I throw on a black oversized hoodie that matches my skinny jeans (also black) and put my dark juniper green hair in a messy bun before I run downstairs as quick as I can. Better not make mom wait, she’s awful enough as is.

When I enter the kitchen, I almost bump into a large man in a suit that is standing next to my mom.

“Oh fuck, sorry!” I quickly say, getting a death stare from my mom but for once she doesn’t even berate me for swearing. She just looks between me and this dude, who was wearing dark sunglasses (in December!) for some fucking reason.

“Who is this?” I ask after a few moments of awkward silence.

“My name is Mr. Mundo, nice to meet you, Hwa.” His voice fits his impressive stature perfectly.

My mother steps forward and puts her hand on my shoulder, looking at me more seriously than I have ever seen her. “You know that we haven’t had the easiest time since dad lost his job. And since you refuse to work and pay your share, we had no other choice.”

“What do you mean? What choice?” I ask, slowly starting to panic.

“You’ll go with Mr. Mundo, he has a job for you where you’ll work for six months. You’ll get a room and food and the money goes to pay back all the debt you owe us.”

“Debt? What do I owe you?”

“Darling, you've been living and eating here for free for 18 years!”

“This is insane!” I yell at her. “You’re selling me? You are a monster!”

“Selling? It’s just temporary honey, and it’s a decent job, don’t make it sound worse than it is!”

“You can’t do that, I’m an adult, you can’t force me!” At this point I’m full on panicking. This can’t be happening, it should just be another nightmare. But I know it’s real. My nightmares are way different.

“You are right and nobody is forcing you. But think about this, it would give you the perfect opportunity to get some good job experiences while at the same time helping out your family! Also –” she adds “if you don’t take this offer then you’ll have to pack your bags, we can’t pay for you any longer.”

“If you stayed off the booze you could.” I press through my teeth, anger winning over panic.

She just ignores it and tells me “Please Honey, think about it. If you go with Mr. Mundo at least you’ll have a roof and food. We just want what’s best for you! You’ll thank us in a few years, mark my words.” With this she turns around and leaves me alone in the kitchen with this absolute hunk of a man.

“Go pack your stuff, we leave in an hour.” He hands me a big suitcase before sinking down onto the washed-out red leather couch in the living room, turning the TV on, unfazed by all of this as if it was his daily job. Which it probably was.

Still in shock, I go back to my room and just stare at the mirror for a solid minute. I still haven’t processed what just happened but I start throwing my most important stuff into the suitcase. I have a lot of clothes but most of them are from my parents and I hate wearing them. So it’s not too difficult to fit all my favorite pieces into the suitcase, some skinny jeans, flowy tops and hoodies and of course accessories, I can’t leave my choker collection here. Then I go to my bed and from under the mattress I pull my binder. I put it under all the other things so it won’t be visible if my mom checks my suitcase. She would freak out. I gather the rest of the stuff, making sure I have my laptop, makeup and favorite books, and check the time. I still have 15 minutes left but at this point, the quicker I’m gone the better. I grab the heavy suitcase and try to carry it down the stairs. Two steps in I nearly slip and the suitcase crashes onto the step with a loud Thud. Before I’m even up I can hear heavy steps on the stairs.

Mr. Mundo grabs the suitcase without saying a word and carries it down. I awkwardly follow him, hoping my mom is distracted and hasn’t noticed the commotion. For once I seem to be lucky, she’s nowhere to be seen. At the door, Mr. Mundo turns around and asks me “Are you sure that you have everything? You won’t be able to come back here anytime soon.”

“Yeah I’m not planning on doing that anyways. Can we go?” I ask impatiently.

He doesn’t answer and just opens the door and walks down the driveway towards the black car with darkened windows that is waiting at the end of it. He puts my suitcase in the back of it with ease and opens the door in the back, gesturing for me to get in. I hesitate for a second, but when I can hear the front door of the house open again, I quickly get in before I can hear whatever my mother wants to tell me. He slams the door behind me and gets into the driver’s seat, which I can’t even see from back here because there’s a divider between the front and the back of the car. Like in a limousine. Or a cop car. It feels more like the latter, like I’m a prisoner.

The car rumbles to life and even though the windows are heavily tinted, I can see the shadows of trees racing past us. Where are we going?

#heartsteel #ezreal #yone #kayn #sett #aphelios #ksante #hwei #league of legends #riot games #riot games music #heartsteel headcanons #hwei pov #hwei x heartsteel #not gonna tell you who though hehe youll have to find out i guess #heartsteel mlm #transmasc character #this is just a trashy fun little project #dont take it too seriously

[whatthehelltony]

could be doing anything else right now but I’m sitting in bed with all the windows open writing text post for tumblr and freezing my ass off. My pants are too big for me and it’s making me so mad and I want to make something but idk what and it’s so messy in here and I need to clean and I feel sick so maybe i should close the windows and maybe I should eat something other than sugar and caffeine and maybe I should make lunch but it’s too late so I’ll just wait til dinner cause everyone knows calories don’t count after dark which is maybe my problem and my throat hurts and I’m cold and I want to talk to someone but instead I’m here rambling to no one and I hope that I remember to delete this before anyone I know sees it but I probably won’t and I feel like I’m wasting time but I can’t stop and I just want to do something but idk what I and I just want to build something but it seems like maybe right now I have to do nothing because the only other thing I can do is destroy and talk to much and maybe I should sleep well tonight but I’ve already decided I won’t until my giant painting has a sky and I know that i cannot move the dresser til after dark and I need to hide my energy drinks cause people are coming over and might want to sit on the closet couch and I also need to move my sewing stuff and the dress I started and of course never finished because if I don’t do it all at once it won’t get done like the book my girlfriend gave me that I had to force myself to read in one sitting cause i knew I wouldn’t otherwise and why is it is a struggle to do things I want to do and why can’t I type and the music is too loud in my earbuds but it needs to be loud and I can’t type and I feel like I’m going deaf and maybe I’m going blind cause my eyes are always blurry now and maybe I should drink some water cause otherwise I’m gonna die at practice and maybe I should eat something but I ate a cookie at midnight last night and my mom isn’t home to tell me to eat and why am I complaining cause I eat dinner and I eat and I don’t have a problem and I’m itching but I know the thing that will make it stop will be too obvious and the last thing I want is for people to know anything and I wanna go home but I’m sitting in bed with the windows open and I am home and it’s cold but the sun is shining and my heart is beating too fast and maybe it’s the caffeine or the adrenaline from talking too much or maybe it’s my heart and I’m going to die and maybe I should close the window and put a period in my writing so that people can actually read it but maybe I’m making it unreadable in purpose so that no one reads it and maybe I could not post this but we both know I have to because I can’t text my girlfriend and even if I could I know I wouldn’t say anything cause she’s got it way worse and I’m actually good so idk what I’m doing here and why I’m typing and there’s a notes app for a reason but it just isn’t the same and I need to stop and I need to put a period somewhere but it’s too bright and my eyes are blurry but I won’t sleep til tomorrow and I need to shut up but my head hurts and maybe this will make it feel better but now I have to go because people are coming over and I need to clean and I keep forgetting things and maybe I’m crazy but people who are actually crazy don’t think they’re crazy so im ok and I won’t put a period because fuck

[haechannabelle]

hiii today is bad my hair is messy but we out here i guess. lots of very negative venting under the cut yayyy (it’s okay tho venting made me feel better)

i’m just frustrated because my stupid job where i have to stand on concrete floors for 7 hours a day has ruined my knees, i have the knees of like a fucking 60 year old and i’m not even 30, like i can’t exercise and i keep gaining weight from my medication and idk what to do about it

and i made an appointment to hopefully get a doctor’s note so i can sit at work but because i’m on medicaid my doctor was like yeah earliest i have is in three months and even then he’ll have to refer me to a specialist to get anything done about it

and my arm has also been bothering me since we moved in august, it’ll go away but then it comes back worse. so of course i’m worried about that too

and NOW my foot is all fucked up on TOP of that stuff and because they’re doing stupid construction on all the public transit i’m walking like an extra 3 miles some days which obviously isn’t helping anything…and i had to leave work today because i couldn’t stop crying because i feel like my body is failing me and i can’t afford to take time off of work and also fuck the healthcare “system” in this country, i just had to pay a $750 bill for dental work so who KNOWS how much it’ll cost if i need treatment for my knees OR arm OR foot OR all three of them

anyways i’m sad and in pain and im freaking out about how i’m gonna get it all fixed or IF i’m gonna get things fixed and how much i’ll have to pay if i do…. it’s just not a good situation and it’s only been building as i tried to ignore the problems and hope they would go away, so now i’m directing anger at myself for not taking care of myself

but whatever my partner will be home soon and he’s gonna drive me to the doctor tomorrow and i know he’ll have comforting things to say. i know it’ll all be okay i’m just upset and what is tumblr for if not long sad personal posts and also selfies riiiiight ???

in other news tomorrow is 4/20 and i WILL be ceremoniously ending my 3 week T-break and i cannot fucking wait. i read four (4!!!) books in that time which is 4x as many books as i had read in the previous 5 years so,, i’m doing good in other ways !!!

everything is gonna be okay, it’s just hard right now. shoutout to anyone who read this far i am virtually giving you a fresh baked cookie 🍪

#myself #annabelle talks #i promise i’m okay i just needed to get some of this out

[rianafying]

i’m having a really bad day emotionally. idk if it’s my period hormones or bpd but i’m just in a really sucky mood today. yesterday i recovered from one illness that i had since late jan. i’ve been desperately waiting to feel better and this morning i woke up with another kind of illness. and i’m doing my best to recover from this as well. and something triggered my abandonment response and im just having a really really hard time right now. and i can’t even freely talk about it to anyone or even write about it in my journal. i’m just. so sad right now. i’m not abandoned but i feel that way. i have been feeling abandoned for a while now and a small thing that happened last night really amped it up. then this morning i woke up with a crazy amount of physical pain and fever from said illness and im also severely dehydrated because i have been too upset to drink water so i’ve been forcing myself to drink lots of water all day. and had to take painkillers and sleep the fever off. all by myself. i hate being by myself. but it was worse when i was living with family back in bangladesh. somehow i felt even lonelier and more horrible there. lately i’ve had very little hope about myself and my future. i’m just going through a rough time mentally. so are my loved ones. i’m sobbing as i’m writing about this. this isn’t even bad. like it’s just my mental illness over reacting and my hormones possibly amplifying the negative emotions. but nothing terrible has actually happened it’s just that i wanted something and i can’t have it and even in my dreams, my desires plague me. it all sounds vague but that’s on purpose because i can’t openly talk about it. even when faced with much greater difficulty, i have handled things better but right now even though it’s not actually that bad, i feel exceptionally sad. i did my groceries. made the right decisions. i literally did my very fucking best today. and yet i feel nothing but awful awful awful. even some self hatred and self pity. i’m having a hard time trying to logic myself out of this one. maybe it just needs some time. the problem is that i don’t have all that much time to give. i have a class early tomorrow and it’s one of those classes that i really have to participate in and even though i normally look forward to this class, im dreading it right now. i dont have the energy to learn a whole bunch of things right now. and my friends invited me for drinks after classes, which is great but sucks because i literally have 5$ in my bank account to last me the whole week, and today was just monday. idk how this happened. actually i know exactly how this happened, i paid of my medical bills when i got paid this weekend. that’s why i have nothing left. but it’s a big relief. that i have paid off all my hospital debt. it’s a huge deal. and it’s done. now temporarily i’ll struggle a little but it’ll be okay soon. also it was just 11:11pm and i made a good wish. i’m going to try my best to bring it to fruition. rn im still a bit sick, and im not gonna beat myself up for having a bad couple of days. i know im doing my best. my best is not as good as other people’s but it’s mine. and i am choosing to go easy on myself. i’m feeling a fever coming back. the plan for the rest of the night is to maybe rest till my fever goes away. then watch the movies i downloaded w the library wifi, because guess what, i didn’t have money to get wifi this month. so i barely use my data and i try to download as much as i can at uni and at the library. it has been kind of good for me. to be off the internet mostly. this reminds me i should deactivate my instagram soon. idc if i loose my work flow. or maybe try to find balance between life offline and online. after i’m done resting and my fever subsides, ill boil some eggs and what not. i deserve to eat well. nvm im back to crying in my fetal position. oh god i feel so bad. i feel so bad right now. i can’t do anything about this. and the things that i can fix, i don’t. this is literally my life. crying about things i can’t control and ignoring the things i can control

this is the worst i have felt in 2024 so far. i’m so sad that it’s giving me a headache. i’m so disoriented and confused and tired and sad i don’t wanna do anything. i’m depressed as fuck. why does this happen to me. oh god i let a couple of hours pass, and i’m doing a little bit better. this is so stupid.

#personal #journal entry

[henbased]

CHARACTER INTERVIEW - JUDE BLANCHARD

tagged by @florbelles to do an age old OC interview that im sure i had been tagged in so many other countless times. so how about i be the one to spring them back around!

no pressure, i have no idea whose done this but if you have but havent for another character... 👀✨. sending them out to @adelaidedrubman @8bitpizzacoupons @unholymilf @fourlittleseedlings @roofgeese @stacispratt @dirtyimbecile @necro-hamster @shallow-gravy @poetikat @strangefable @deputy-morgan-malone @strafethesesinners @turbo-virgins @killyourrdarlingss @thespiral @locustandwildhoney @ishwaris and anyone else who wants to do it! for any fandom just tag me i wanna see 😈

shoutout to stella for letting me completely steal her template #slothliving

the heralds are very curious about the deputy hanging around joseph after the botched arrest. john's been tasked with gathering information.

NAME?

JUDE. jude.

JOHN. full name, if you would?

JUDE. judith.

JOHN. i heard from a certain little mouse that your last name is —

JUDE. nancy, yeah. It’s blanchard.

ARE YOU SINGLE?

JUDE. raises an eyebrow.

JOHN. clicks teeth.

ARE YOU HAPPY?

JUDE. i wouldn’t use that word.

JOHN. what word would you use then?

JUDE. neutral.

ARE YOU ANGRY?

JUDE. depends.

JOHN. on?

JUDE. the hour.

ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL MARRIED?

JUDE. snorts. i guess.

JOHN. you don’t know?

JUDE. is a dead widow still married?

JOHN. it depends on how long the deceased has —

JUDE. been deceased? guess they wouldn’t be married after 13 years. it really isn’t death do we part then, huh.

BIRTHPLACE?

JUDE. philly.

JOHN. hm.

JUDE. something to say?

JOHN. it just explains a lot.

JUDE. like?

JOHN. would you like to continue?

HAIR COLOR?

JUDE. blonde.

JOHN. dullish blonde.

JUDE. dishwater blonde.

EYE COLOR?

JUDE. brown.

BIRTHDAY?

JUDE. march 13th, 1990.

JOHN. you’re a pisces.

JUDE. isn’t your little creature a scorpion?

JOHN. how do you know my —

JUDE. joseph told me.

MOOD?

JUDE. could be better. could be worse.

JOHN. are you not delighted by my company?

JUDE. laughs.

GENDER?

JUDE. gal.

SUMMER OR WINTER?

JUDE. summer for the weather, winter for the ambiance.

JOHN. the ambiance?

JUDE. i like the quiet.

MORNING OR AFTERNOON?

JUDE. morning, but i hate getting up for it.

— EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE.

ARE YOU IN LOVE?

JUDE. hums.

JOHN. (after a beat) if you don’t want to answer, we can —

JUDE. let’s do that.

WHO ENDED YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP?

JUDE. laughs. I don’t even remember.

HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART?

JUDE. don’t think so. (a beat) probably.

ARE YOU AFRAID OF COMMITMENTS?

JUDE. that’s an interesting question.

JOHN. are you avoiding answering it, deputy?

JUDE. well, seeing as i haven’t shown up to be a deputy in awhile, guess you could say i am.

JOHN. why is that?

JUDE. cuz i’m busy answering people’s stupid questions.

HAVE YOU HUGGED SOMEONE WITH IN THE LAST WEEK?

JUDE. laughs. yeah.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SECRET ADMIRER?

JUDE. it was more like a stalker situation.

JOHN. that sounds frightening.

JUDE. yeah. the guy even had his siblings in on it, asking them to try and get in my head. was a whole thing.

JOHN. i'm assuming you got away safely.

JUDE. eh. got me to where i am now.

HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN YOUR OWN HEART?

JUDE. you gonna be asking me questions like that you should be treating me to some whiskey.

JOHN. eden’s gate does not endorse drinking alcohol, which you very well should know, and second of all, i do not have anything like that in my —

JUDE. oh fuck off, i won’t tell him. pour us some shots. what’s the next question?

— SIX CHOICES.

LOVE OR LUST?

JUDE. coughs. fuck. uh — 

JOHN. actually, let’s —

JUDE. lust.

LEMONADE OR ICED TEA?

JUDE. iced tea.

CATS OR DOGS?

JUDE. either.

JOHN. you strike me as a cat person.

JUDE. that feels like an insult coming from you.

JOHN. it’s just an observation.

A FEW BEST FRIENDS OR MANY REGULAR FRIENDS?

JUDE. (silence) i miss — (silence) many regular friends.

WILD NIGHT OUT OR ROMANTIC NIGHT IN?

JUDE. wanna do this one with me?

JOHN. no.

JUDE. (sound of glass clinking) romantic night in.

DAY OR NIGHT?

JUDE. daytime. the feel of sunlight on you. can’t beat it.

— FOUR HAVE YOU EVERS.

BEEN CAUGHT SNEAKING OUT?

JUDE. we were all teenagers once.

FALLEN DOWN/UP THE STAIRS?

JUDE. (gags) god this taste like shit.

JOHN. can you please answer —

JUDE. it’s not even a good question, calm down. ‘course i have, i was a teenager once.

WANTED SOMETHING/SOMEONE SO BADLY IT HURT?

JUDE. hums. yeah.

JOHN. pause. is it —

JUDE. it’s hard to explain.

JOHN. how so?

JUDE. it’s complicated.

JOHN. care to elabor—

JUDE. no.

WANTED TO DISAPPEAR?

JUDE. laughs. yeah.

— FOUR PREFERENCES.

SMILE OR EYES?

JUDE. is this almost done with?

JOHN. answer the question.

JUDE. smile.

SHORTER OR TALLER?

JUDE. doesn’t really matter much to me.

JOHN. you are quite on the —

JUDE. shorter side, you’re so funny.

INTELLIGENCE OR ATTRACTION?

JUDE. attraction.

JOHN. quick to answer. are you truly that shallow?

JUDE. yeah.

HOOK-UP OR RELATIONSHIP?

JUDE. what’s the section after this?

JOHN. family.

JUDE. do one with me and i’ll answer the question.

JOHN. no, i already have to edit this, just —

JUDE. so you’re already editing it! i’m pouring two.

JOHN. don’t — you haven’t answered —

JUDE. relationship.

— FAMILY.

DO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY GET ALONG?

JUDE. we did.

JOHN. not anymore?

JUDE. nope.

WOULD YOU SAY YOU HAVE A MESSED UP LIFE?

JUDE. (a beat) no.

HAVE YOU EVER RUN AWAY FROM HOME?

JUDE. no.

HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN KICKED OUT?

JUDE. no. well, my mom used to tell me to go to the park whenever she got pissed off at me, but i don’t think that’s falls under being kicked out.

JOHN. hmm. did your mother get angry at you a lot?

JUDE. eh, she was just hotheaded and opinionated.

JOHN. and your father, was he around during all this?

JUDE. i’ll answer if you tell me what the duncan’s were like.

— FRIENDS.

DO YOU SECRETLY HATE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS?

JUDE. it’s not really a secret, and they’re not really my friend.

JOHN. i’ve never seen you talk to anyone besides joseph.

JUDE. and you. right now.

JOHN. we are not friends.

JUDE. i wasn’t talking about you anyway, moron.

DO YOU CONSIDER ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS GOOD FRIENDS?

JOHN. what kind of insult is moron, anyway? what are you, ten?

JUDE. are you upset over being called a moron?

JOHN. i’m not upset —

WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND?

JUDE. don’t have one. wanna be my best friend, john?

JOHN. no.

WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU?

JUDE. do one with me, come on. don’t be a buzzkill, i know you drink.

JOHN. you’re — you — groans. will you promise to answer the rest of them with no complaining?

JUDE. yeah, i swear. 

JOHN. (a beat, sound of glass being set on a surface) there. now, if you would please —

JUDE. (coughs) god, i hate whiskey. joseph does.

JOHN. he does not like whiskey.

JUDE. no, he knows the most about me, you moron.

JOHN. i am not a —

JOSEPH. (muffled) what are you two doing?

(recording stops abruptly)

#oc: deputy jude #oc interview #this was just a fun lil thing to get back into writing jude #and figure out her dynamics with john #bc hes a funny lil man

[saldrath]

Magic System In Saldrath

This is a quick explanation of how my magic system in my conworld Saldrath works! It's just a introduction to my short stories (and future novels) im gonna write in this universe! ____

Mage population in general

Magic in Saldrath is something not as common as one may think. Only a small percentage of the world population is born with an aptitude to feel mana, but even less actually make use of it.

Why is that? Well, for a few reasons - first of all, learning magic is expensive. You would think that countries would try to sponsor young children who can feel mana to learn magic so they can have their own private army that can raze cities to the ground in a matter of minutes, but no! As a matter of facts, a lot of countries believe that magic is something that only nobles should be able to use. So if you were born with a great talent but in a poor family, you're fucked. Well, that was until the Great Magic School opened up, but we’ll talk about that a bit later.

Most of the old school mages are home-schooled and nobles, but nowadays almost every mage graduates from one of the many magic schools. 

Mage Ranks

Mages are ranked, in order with their progress in their Path Of Magic (more about that a bit later).

The ranks are:

- Halfling - you know nothing about magic, and can only feel mana. You don't even know how to cast spells, manipulate mana and in general have no clue what to do.

- Apprentice - you just learned how to use some and know how to cast some very basic spells. You still haven't really stepped onto your Path Of Magic, but you're getting somewhere. 

- Mage - this is it. From this moment onward, you can officially call yourself a Mage. You have stepped onto the true Path Of Magic, you started to understand what magic is and how it works. A mage can cast a lot of different spells (though not very complicated ones) and manipulate mana at some basic level.

- Great Mage - it's a big step up from a Mage. At this point you're in the top 5% of Mages in the world. You can use more complicated spells with ease, but you're still following someone's Path Of Magic and you still haven’t found your own, you only follow a path someone else laid out before you, but damn you followed it well. You can be considered a true master, and a powerful mage. With enough time you can easily raze mountains (or create them).

- Half-Magus - you finally realized what Path Of Magic is. Congratulations! You're one of the very, very, very few people who understand what these words mean. You finally took a big step into the unknown and decided to make your own path instead of following a path someone else made for you. It is still in the baby steps, and very incomplete but it's still your path.

- Magus - you have stepped outside of the path you were following before, and left it behind, abandoned all of your accomplishments in it and now follow your own and unique Path Of Magic. You have reached the epitome of magic. 

Path Of Magic

So what exactly is all this *Path Of Magic* we're talking about so much, huh? Well if we want to keep it simple: it's a class, your specialization.  Everyone is better at one thing, and worse at other things, right? Well, Path Of Magic is a way for the world’s mana to guide you to choose the "specialization" that suits you best. 

Let me give an example: you are really good at using telekinesis, but you're not so good at using any kind of elemental magic, then the world of Saldrath is going to guide you into a path that focuses on telekinesis. It can be a path made by someone else, or made by the world itself.

So what exactly does it mean to "make a path"? Well it means that the mana isn’t guiding you anymore, you are guiding it. You decide in which direction you want to go, and how you want it to work. It's just that - it's a very simple step in theory, but in practice not many people know this. 

What's also important is that people who realized what a "Path Of Magic" is are prohibited by the world to speak about it with people who don't understand it. 

How exactly does magic work?

Magic in Saldrath works in a very simple yet refined way. By the usage of correct formulas you can guide the mana into making certain things real. What are formulas then? To put it simply, it's pure math. You may ask "if it's math then why can't everyone use magic?", because you need to be able to feel mana to use it.

Every mage uses mana in a different way, some try to guide the mana, some force it, others manipulate it - and all these ways will have their own advantages and disadvantages. 

Every person is born with two very important aptitudes on how to use magic:

- The first one being how precisely can they feel the mana, we call that the mana sensitivity, people with higher mana sensitivity can use much more precise and delicate spells with ease

- The other things is how much mana they can handle at once, we call that the mana capacity, people with higher mana capacity can use a higher quantity of spells and bigger ones with ease

So what is Mana?

No one exactly knows what mana is, but it's everywhere even though it is invisible to the naked eye. It's mixed with the air, it's inside of every grass, stone, tree and even in every living being. 

Every living being has a unique type of mana inside of them, and it can't be found anywhere else. 

Mana is not an infinite resource; it is limited and will flow back into the world once the spell has dissipated. There were only a very few occasions where the amount of mana in the world has diminished or increased. 

Magic Aspect

This is the last thing when it comes to magic: aspects. Everyone is born with a certain aspect that is applied to their person and is engraved within their mana. For certain people it's something very simple, like increased sensitivity or capacity, but for others is something far more unique. 

One of the most unique magic aspects in the world belongs to Midas Vose Hathe. It is something he calls “Eternity”, which allows him to keep a spell active indefinitely.

#oc #fantasy #writing #conworld #magic #saldrath #custom worlds #original writing #novel #epic #introduction #intro post #writers on tumblr #world building #fantasy worldbuilding #fantasy writing #fantasy world

[angelmichelangelo]

so i found a dr raynor vs dr harrow analysis i wrote a while back just sitting in my drafts so here it is for anyone that cares lol:

so in hindsight, neither of them are necessarily good or bad therapists. i think, like real life, they have varying qualities about them that will either play into their patients strengths, or just totally go against their weaknesses.

i think marvel is a little… unbalanced, shall we say? when it comes to portraying real life therapy. now, i would like to stress that dr harrow isn’t real (in terms of existing in the mcu world) he’s simply a creation from marc’s mind, and so when i discuss his tactics against dr raynor’s consider that im saying all of this with a pinch of salt because some of his behaviour/actions just stems from marc’s own perspective on therapist and therapy.

i’ll talk about dr raynor first however since we saw her actually exist with the mcu and give a real therapy session. now, bucky barnes and marc spector are two completely different characters. they’ve experienced different things, experienced different mental health issues, however it’s evident that both of them are victims of very heavy trauma.

so when we meet dr raynor in episode one, it’s evident that her and bucky do not get along. which, in itself is no crime. im sure a lot of people can relate to having some sort of resilience towards their therapist, especially under bucky’s circumstances where it’s government mandated instead of voluntary (aka, he’s not doing this for his own sake of getting better but rather because it’s required of him to do so). their relationship is strained, he’s very closed off, there’s a lot of very blunt answers and raynor… i feel lets it aggravate her. now, we know as a character bucky is stubborn, he can be blunt and snappy. and im gonna pretend like marvel put any thought behind this at all, but i imagine that when picking an appropriate therapist for bucky, they went with someone that was most like him, in order to make him feel vulnerable enough to open up. bucky certainly doesn’t need to be babied. he doesn’t need a therapist that is gonna coddle him every time he refuses to talk about his ptsd fuelled nightmares, or allow him to simply sit in silence for the entirety of the session just so he can say he went. in that aspect, raynor is a good therapist for bucky. someone who isn’t gonna shy away from him, someone who’s clearly not afraid of him – and that’s key. bucky spends a lot of time worrying about himself and how he is perceived. having raynor be blunt with him isn’t her just being an asshole, but it’s simply showing him “hey, im not gonna treat you any differently because who you are and what you did. this is how it is now suck it up and help yourself get better.”

i believe in that aspect, raynor is a pretty good fit for bucky. my gripe comes with basically how the show wrote her. i think again, it’s not so much her as a character but how marvel projects therapy into their show. raynor did some pretty unprofessional things. she taunted him about his dead family and friends as a means to get him to open up (yeesh) she makes sam sit in on a therapy session with neither of their consent (big no no) and her entire purpose of her being there is to get bucky to make amends to the people the winter soldier has hurt in the past. not once does she make it explicitly clear to him that HE is not responsible for any of that. that bucky is not behind all those deaths, that it was hydra who did that. she sends him on a wild goose chase, basically making him feel worse, and the guilt just piles on. her character is good, her execution of how to help bucky is not.

so overall: raynor gets a 3.5/5 stars from me in terms of, okay i see what you’re doing but holy cow marvel you’re going about it the wrong way entirely.

as for dr harrow, again, like i stated before, it’s a little tricky to compare the two because he’s not an actual therapist. his existence stems from marc’s subconscious whilst they are dead so… again: pinch of salt lol

i think, from my own perspective, his portrayal comes across as very authentic. again, marc (nor steven) need to babied. they don’t need to be treated like children because of their mental illnesses. but in this sense, dr harrow does treat marc (and i’m just gonna reference marc since he has the most screen time with him) with a sense of… fragility.

it’s evident that in those scenes, marc is definitely unwell. he’s going through an episode and he’s clearly not at his peak in regards to his mental state. dr harrow doesn’t belittle him, nor is he cruel. he’s gentle and soft spoken because it’s clear he knows what kind of environment marc needs when he’s in this headspace. i actually really loved ethan hawke’s betrayal of this character, it was really interesting and fun to watch, and i think he just really felt like an actual therapist of a mentally ill man, rather than someone pretending to be one.

he engages in marc’s questions or worries. he’s never dismissive however, he gets to the point in telling marc (or jake in this scene, whatever you want) that the things he’s seeing with the hippopotamus is nonsense, and gets him to say it out loud so that he can understand it better. he reiterated that not everything he is seeing is real, and does so by not necessarily talking down to him but just… telling him. talking to him and then parroting back his own statement so that marc can confirm he understands why that is.

he makes a sharp turn though when it’s steven fronting. and again, dr harrow is very calm with him, he’s patient in allowing him to ask questions and then insult him (lol) but when it comes down to his mother, steven starts to panic and dr harrow’s idea of helping him with that is to pretend to call steven’s mother to which it’s just an empty dial tone, and that is the moment steven is confronted with the information that his mother is in fact dead.

now… idk about you but uhhh that would fuck me up pretty badly lmao. if i was under the belief that my family member was alive and well, and this was because of years and years of childhood trauma had caused me to repress that so much (which dr harrow knows) i don’t think it’d be a safe and sensible thing to do that kind of shock/exposure therapy. he very bluntly (but packages it up to look like he’s being nice) forces steven to face the facts that his mother has already passed away, and he’s been essentially lied to. i personally just don’t think that’s a fair way to do it, but understandably a lot of people differ in how they react to certain forms of therapy, and if it works for you then it works, but again, none of this is real and this is just me rambling lol

so in conclusion i think marvel are still figuring out how to write a good therapist. and don’t get me wrong: i don’t think either of them were meant to be necessary “good” therapists, but marvel sometimes think they’re writing a positive character trait when in actuality they’re not and that can blur the lines sometimes as to what their actual purpose is there and what marvel is essentially saying is a good example of therapy, and what isn’t.

this is all just my own personal opinion. im not a therapist and honestly i just make all of this up as i go along but yeah. that’s my babbling done for now :) if anyone has anything else they’d like to add on to this then feel free !! thanks :)

#i think i made a point here somewhere…. #hmmmm #but yeah #neither of them are perfect but i honestly don’t think anything marvel writes is ever intentional lmao #and i think we the fans just kinda of… inject our own thoughts and theories until marvel is like: #YES we meant to do that 🤗🤗🤗 #like um sure jan.. #anyways! i hope this made some sense lol #if not then beat me over the head with a stick and tell me to shut up #cool! #moon knight meta #dr harrow #dr raynor #tfatws #marc spector #bucky barnes #steven grant #arthur harrow #marvel

[twinkskeletons]

okay first off, love you <333 and secondly, it’s gonna. well i can’t promise it’s gonna get better tomorrow or next week but it might, you never know!!! that’s the thing about us (rock bottom sue eye cide craving 20-somethings), things can’t really get much worse anyway so! the only way is up! (<- me forcing myself into optimism so i don’t kms)

what i can promise is that your life isn’t meaningless, waking up isn’t meaningless, getting up isn’t meaningless. hell, staying in bed isn’t meaningless. not in the context of your life, and the things happening around you. and if you think about the context of the universe then all of it is meaningless anyway so might as well reduce it down until you find meaning! otherwise what would be the point of art and literature and music and nature? it’s not gonna matter in the end, but it matters NOW. and so do you. bc how else are you gonna experience all that?

“inherent worth to your life” arguments never worked on me, honestly, and neither did “but the ppl whose lives you make better :(“ ones (they might for you!!!) bc literally they don’t exist really, but what did work on me is realising that kms would mean i wouldn’t get to look at stuff anymore. not read nor write nor listen to music nor rain nor poetry nor watch films and sunrises and birds nesting and the way the sky darkens and the moon. the moon! that big ass rock! illuminated by another’s light and yet the most beautiful thing to lift your eye to! im a bit of a romantic so you know. that worked on me. has been working for like, half a decade now. so you reallllllllllllly gotta find the argument that works on you.

cause there’s stuff that’s important to you, right? reduce it down to that, if you have to, for now, even if it’s one thing. love that one thing with everything you have. it’s gonna get easier to breathe. so breathe. breathe when it’s easy, and breathe extra hard when it’s hard. i believe in you!!!!!!!! “meaning” is so fucking vague anyway. who decides that shit!!! who cares!!! the most important part is that inside you there’s a beating heart whose pumping is testament to the love you feel for whatever it is. there’s meaning in that, i can definitely promise that.

this got. extraordinarily long. so im sorry for giving you the choice to read all that cause really, you don’t have to. but i hope it helps, like, just a little, to recategorize and breaaatheeeeeee. xo

waugh this is so nice thank u :’) i think my biggest problem is that im just. so alone and that will never change and can really only get worse when my entire family disowns me for being trans. only time i talk to people im not related to is when im threatening suicide on tumblr lolll and i kind of dont know how to interact with people outside of that anymore.. not sure i ever did actually my experience with the three friends i made in high school was sitting and listening to them talk to each other and never saying anything myself which. doesn’t really translate to online very well. ur right though there are at least two things i care abt my dogs and my art so i guess i just need 2 really focus on those 👍 keep making merch and planning that potential artist alley table

#really hard to actually pick up my pencil most of the time though -_- #answered #and ofc there’s the jealousy how could we forget the jealousy #soo sucks anytime i see someone draw better than me or get more attention it makes me miserable it’s so cringe + lame

[aylinaliens]

you know what probably kills junho inside too, is that all the little battles /she/ doesnt know about. those shitty friends of his, minwoo's conversation about her, then now his sister (which she knows) but everyone telling him that /HIS/ feelings arent real. telling /HIM/ he's not happy while youngwoo is having everyone tell her she's not good enough, she's not the one he has a crush on, she's not this and that. god they must be so tired. the last 2 eps better be long af (i doubt it) but im sure they'll come back together, its just the rest of the story is gonna be a disappointment most likely

anooon THIS THIS THIS!! his feels were continuously disregarded by everyone! his friends, family, the world. and that has to hurt because ?? he KNOWS what he feels. and youngwoo…unintentionally…did the same thing by breaking up with him because she thinks she can’t make him happy. just. oof. the lack of communication is making this situation worse. i love these two more than anything but if they just get back together without some kind of conversation or some kind of sit down it’s going to be frustrating. i think everyone is so invested in their relationship at this point that the typical ‘i’m sorry’ ‘same lol’ ‘let’s get back together’ thing will not work. neither youngwoo/junho are the bad guys in this situation the real villain is lack of communication (and writernim 🥰). just getting back together isn’t going to solve their issues…they have to learn to work together. internalizing feelings is normal and realistic but if that’s going to be the foundation of their relationship? yikes :(

eaw fandom fighting!!! let’s stick together and either celebrate the final episodes (or lick our wounds if it turns out bad kejdjwjdjdhdh)

#kay answers #extraordinary attorney woo #ANON you are so so right about all that of this #if junho would have told her about those things it could have planted more seeds of doubt #but i want them to learn how to handle it together. learn how to express their pain in an open honest manner. BOTH of them!! #kdrama