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kafus · 1 year

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please let me introduce you to NeverHappy, my most beloved pokemon ever.

i found her as a budew on someone else’s save file after buying a used copy of pokemon platinum. the name “NeverHappy” was a pretty obvious joke about how budew evolves from happiness, and since the previous owner was going to keep her in a box forever, never use her, and never evolve her, she would never be happy. this activated some feral response in my brain and i decided no. she WOULD be happy. i was still replaying through all my old gen 4 games at the time but i traded her off to my other gen 4 files for safekeeping until i could do stuff with her.

oh trust me game. i would.

so you might have thought my plans were to simply evolve her and beat the game with her, get her to level 100, maybe even EV train her - but i had much bigger plans. i was going to ribbon master her. the ribbon master challenge, or the process of “ribbon mastering” a pokemon, is getting every single ribbon possible on a pokemon from the game it was caught in to the most recent game it can be transferred to. if you weren’t aware, that’s a LOT of ribbons. there are 40 in gen 4 alone. i had a lot to do.

(the above clean screenshot was taken by backing up my cartridge save and screenshotting a battle video in emulator. however, i did all of this on my actual DS! i don’t like playing on emulator. not as fun)

i had to beat every contest (normal-master rank in all 5 categories) and do a bunch of other random stuff but my favorite part of the process was defeating the battle tower... 6 times. the battle frontier contains the most challenging battles in gen 4 by far, as opponents have good stats and competitive movesets. there’s 6 battle tower ribbons in gen 4 - two for singles at different points in the win streak, one for doubles, one for multis /w NPCs, one for multis /w another player (i just played with myself on two dses), and one for ranking up in the wi-fi room, which is now accessible again due to fan servers restoring internet functionality for gens 4 and 5.

NeverHappy was randomly caught in the wild and did not have a competitive nature or stats, so i figured that she would just be tagging along in the back while i took out all the win streaks with 2 good pokemon, but she ended up clutching out wins in times of dire need... multiple times. she even ended up being necessary in the wi-fi room to stall out prevalent hacked pokemon like no guard sheer cold machamp, which hits 1 hit KO moves every time, with a gimmicky and convoluted leech seed + substitute strategy.

i could go into all of my team members and the excessive lengths i went to get them all (don’t even get me started on my shiny competitive latias from pokemon emerald) but that’s a story for another day.

by the end of gen 4 i was extremely emotionally attached and she was already becoming one of my favorite pokemon, now with 40 whole ribbons after days and weeks of effort.

i have ribbon mastered pokemon before, so all of my save files in gens 6, 7, and 8 were already set up to transfer neverhappy into and grab all of the ribbons. i had a lot more battling and little tasks ahead of me. it’s really cool how ribbon mastering forces you to interact with pretty much every feature of every pokemon game.

and so i transferred her! gen 5 doesn’t have any ribbons, so it was just an intermediary to transfer into gen 6. at this point, i had also acquired a shiny luxray from pokeradar chaining in platinum named Nightlight, and i was ribbon mastering them together, but once again, a story for another day.

first into gen 6... getting the super training ribbon was really annoying but the battle maison was pretty easy. i had a team in multis with terrakion and a whimsicott with beat up that could 1 hit KO all of the boss battle’s legendaries in one hit LOL

then gen 7... this one went by pretty quickly but i opted to get the best friends ribbon here instead of in XY or ORAS because it was really simple to get with rainbow pokebeans, since all you have to do is max out affection and it only takes a couple rainbow beans to do that in USUM.

and gen 8! you can see nightlight to the left in this picture. by far the hardest part of gen 8 was getting the ribbon awarded for winning a battle in master rank in online VGC against other players. i definitely had to grind that one for a while.

then, she even got an award in BDSP for being a pokemon originating from the original diamond/pearl/platinum games, which was really cool.

oh, and since i had cloned neverhappy back in gen 4 with a glitch so that i would always have a copy of her in her origin games, i was able to take this neat picture! how the times have changed LMAO

luckily she was even a part of PLA’s roster and i was able to take a picture with her there, too... which actually might end up being important since there’s an invisible flag somewhere in the game’s code that gets turned on when you take a picture with your pokemon in the photo studio, which could potentially become a ribbon in the future in another game.

so, trainer Platina from 2016, you were wrong! NeverHappy is in fact happy now and has done more than most people’s pokemon have seen in their entire lifetime. she is my most cherished pokemon and i love her more than i love myself. i think i would die for her

i abbreviated this story a lot because i didn’t want to make this post longer than it already was but i was randomly inspired to talk about this today since SV is coming out soon and there will be more ribbons to collect for any of my ribbon masters that can be transferred into SV, which got me thinking about her. my journey with ribbon mastering has taught me more about pokemon games than any normal person should ever know and if you were interested in any details i left out or how i accomplished certain ribbons (including battle frontier strategies) feel free to shoot me an ask! :D i love talking about pokemon at any time any day of the week.

#pokemon #pokemon platinum #budew #roserade #dppt #long post #kiki was here #probably no one will see this but i was in an infodumping mood ok #kiki.txt #kiki plays games

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charcoallbaby · 3 months

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the chase

smutty asf. 18+

wrote this last night while i was half asleep enjoy!

matt sturniolo was the biggest slut ever. if he wasn’t too busy with college work or being the hockey teams captain, a girl was definitely getting dicked down by him.

i was a sophomore, he was a junior so we never crossed paths until my best friend started to date one of his brothers nick. my best friend, sam was head over heelings for nick, it was annoying to be around but i was happy for him, he seemed to be really happy.

his brother matt sturniolo could never get his eyes off me when i was around him, it made me pissed off. i knew what his thoughts were, even if he was a cool guy, which he is. he’s nice and pretty and would never dare try to do something with me since sam and nick warned him that im off limits. but i think matt liked the chase, he liked the fact that he couldn’t have me. so all he did was eye fuck me across the room with a solo cup in his hand talking to some blonde who was practically begging for him. he could smile and girls would be throwing themselves at him.

i sighed before making my way over to sam and nick. “can we go?” “im getting tired,” i exhaled. “girllllll, come on!!!!” “the party is just getting started!” sam cheered. i rolled my eyes at him. nick touched my arm, “matt’s going home soon, he has a project to work on, i’m sure he’ll have no problem dropping you off.” “yeah-um sure, i’ll ask him.”

my eyes darted over to where matt was. no where to be found.

3 months later.

“it’s so fucking hot god!” i groaned. “don’t worry y/n, it’s because im here.” matt joked. i angrily rolled my eyes. “matt, what?” nick cringed. “it’s too hot in this car and i’m gonna die if we don’t get there soon.” i whined. “stop whining and be happy!” sam patted my head like a dog. “wait is there a pool or hot tub there?” chris asked nick. “hot tub chris, it’s a cabin in the middle of the woods!” “but we can just get the hot tub in while it’s cold.”

the second matt parked the car in the garage, i grabbed my bag, hopped out and ran towards the door inside. i needed to get into minimal clothing, i was wearing sweats for some reason.

“here she is!” “here she is!” sam sang out. a smile formed onto my face.

i wore a baby blue bikini set. it made my girls look amazing which rarely happens while having a heavy chest, bikini cup sizes always do me dirty.

i pulled myself up onto one of the kitchen island stools. “care to make me one?” i asked matt who was on the opposite side of the island cutting himself limes to put into his bottles of corona. “yeah sure,” he flashed me a small smile. he could be really sweet sometimes, it didn’t suit his slutty alter ego that he had. he had no shirt on. he looked really fucking good. small beads of sweat were around his neck, i wish i could lick them off. what. no. y/n stop. my eyes shifted down to his tattoos covering his right arm, it made him more attractive if that was even possible. i shook myself out of the heart-eyeing gaze i was in and turn my stool around to sam, chris and nick playing mario kart.

something cold touched my back making me jerk away from it and turn around. “here.” matt nodded his head. “thanks,” i took the bottle off him, our hands quickly touching. he had nice hands. matt made his way over to the boys in the open-planned living room joining them on the couch. “i’m just gonna go tanning!” i called out to the boys. “okay!”

i placed my headphones into my ears, pressing shuffle onto my playlist. the first song playing was “we are the people.” by empire of the sun.

i opened my eyes, something was blocking the sun. all the 4 boys standing in front of me. i ripped my headphones out of my ears. “excuse me?” i pull my sunglasses down from my head to cover my eyes. “we’re going to the store do you need anything?” sam asked. “oh-em,” “get me more tanning oil i’m out,” i propped myself up with my elbows. “girl, we meant food,” nick sighed. “oh, im good.” i smiled before laying back down. “can i have the keys?” sam asked. “oh yeah here,” i hear matt’s keys jingle. “wait,” i sat up. “who’s going?” i asked. “just me, nick and chris why?” sam pushing his hair out of his eyes. “oh no, just wondering.”

great. i’m gonna be here alone with matt.

the boys walked back inside. i picked my headphones up to put them back in my ear until i hear the door re-open. “thought i’d join you,” matt’s voice became louder.

i mentally groaned. i moved my head to my left and looked at him. “i’m not going to be doing a lot of talking, i’m tanning as you can see you,” i looked back up at the sky. a husky chuckle left matt’s mouth. “i was gonna turn on the hot tub and make the water cold for us,” i sat up for the 3rd time in the space of 2 minutes and looked at him. “nice glasses.” he teased. “thanks.” i gave him a fake smile.

i couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic or not they were the iconic simple black raybans.

i walked over to the hot tub, taking off the covering. “do your job.” i crossed my arms. matt laughed. “such a pretty attitude.” he walked past me and turn the hot tub on. i rolled my eyes and looked out at the view infront of us while matt did his job.

“should be good to get in.” matt picked up his bottle of beer, taking a gulp. “alright.” i dipped my foot in.

“ohhhhhhh fuck,” i moaned putting my head back in pleasure. the cold water hitting my skin felt so good against my boiling body. matt followed in after me. “so,” i clicked my tongue. matt looked at me while licking his teeth. his teeth and lips were so perfect fuck. “what’s your body count so far?” i crossed my arms. he shot me a glare.“i’m not as bad as you think i am y/n, i just like to feel good,” he put a wet hand through his dry hair. “yeah sure matt, does that mean by being inside every girl that you make eye contact with?” i tilted my head and smirked. “i’d bet you’d love it.” he raised his eyebrows and shot me a smile. “yeah, no thank you.”

i layed down on the couch in my bikini scrolling through different social media’s on my phone.

matt drained me in the hot tub. all he did was try to flirt with me and try to get me to accept to let him fuck me, so i left. it was way cooler inside from the blaring AC.

“we’re backkkkk!” nick sang while walking upstairs from the garage. i put my phone down and sat up. “did you get bottled water?” “i’m dying,” i followed nick into the kitchen. “yeah, sam and chris are bringing the groceries up now, i didn’t want to carry anything!” he chimed. i let out a small laugh before nick asked, “where’s matt?” “he’s in the hot tub,” i looked outside at him. “oooooo, i wanna get in the hot tub, “please tell me he’s not a psychopath and it’s cold?” “it’s freezing don’t worry.”

it was around 9pm. everyone was tired from the sun. all of us were in the living room, me laying on the cold floor, nick and sam sharing a arm chair, chris and matt both sprawled out on the big couch. my arm draped over my eyes while we talked while chris’ playlist while lowly playing on the tv.

“we’re off!” nick yawned. i pulled myself to sit up. “don’t go to bed too late y/n!” sam called out.

“i won’t thanks mom!” i called back.

after awhile of chris yapping to me and matt, i decided to head upstairs and going to bed.

it was 4am, i went to use my bathroom until i noticed there was no toilet paper. i groaned and made my way to my bed to grab a t-shirt to put on.

i threw on a baggy t-shirt before opening my door and making my to the bathroom. i rubbed my eyes and pushed open the half-closed door infront of me.

"fuckkkkk,” i heard a deep groan. i rubbed my eyes again. matt standing in the shower touching himself. he didn’t notice me. i quickly turned around before i heard him moan my name. no. no. no. i needed to leave. i quietly shut the door and ran back to my room.

i anxiously sat on the side of my bed biting my acrylic nails. that fucker was thinking of me while jerking off. i sighed before waiting until i could hear matt’s footsteps.

i walked out of my room to matt with a towel wrapped around his waist, wet hair and water droplets all over his body. i gulped. “showering at 4am?” i questioned. “i like night showers y/n,” he stopped. “oh yeah, i bet you do matt,” i jokingly winked. “wha-” i cut him off. “it’s okay matt, you get off to me,” i crossed my arms. “n-no, no i don’t how would you know?” his face was covered with confusion. “i have ears, anyway im going to use the bathroom,” i walked past him. he quickly grabbed my arm. “no, no,” “y/n tell me what you heard?” he quirked his eye brows up. “matt i’m going piss myself.” “i’ll see you in the morning then.”

i made way back into my room. i jumped seeing matt sitting on my bed with shorts on. his phone screen lighting up his face. “what the fuck are you doing in my room matt!” i whisper-yelled.

he smirked. “i think we should recreate what you suppose heard in the shower,” i rolled my eyes. “matt,” i sighed. “go please, i’m tired and i don’t want to fuck you sorry if that bruises your massive ego, but your probably a walking form of chlamydia,” i made my way to the opposite of my bed.

he turned and looked at me. “come on baby, i’m clean i get tested im not stupid,” he layed down on my bed, resting his hands behind his head. i layed down beside him. “i’m going asleep matthew,” i placed my head down onto the pillow behind me. “mhm,” he mumbled. he leaned down to me his lips hovering over mine, they looked so kissable. “you don’t know how bad i want to fuck you, you make it so hard when all i want to do is bury myself inbetween those thighs y/n,” he groaned. i clenched my thighs together which made his eyes shift down. a smirk now planted onto his face. “i bet your panties are soaked, can i check?” his fingers trailed down my under my shirt. i nodded my head. god what am i doing. 2 minutes ago i didn’t want him anywhere near me, now i want him everywhere.

he pulled my underwear down slowly making me impatient. i groaned and leaned my forehead against his bicep.

matt slid his fingers down my soaking pussy that was begging for his touch. “oh my fuck, “your soaking,” he groaned before slipping two fingers into me. a low moan left my mouth. “look at me,” he spoke. i quickly pulled my head up and looked at him. he picked the pace up hitting my g-spot making me moan loudly. “there it is,” matt whispered. all he did was hit my g-spot making me on the verge of my orgasm. “come on sweetheart, finish on my fingers.” his thumb met my clit making my orgasm come quicker. i clenched around his fingers and shivered while coming down from my high.

matt’s fingers were in his mouth tasting me. “you taste so sweet,” his lips finally meeting mine. i hungrily kissed him, i didn’t know i had this much energy from just coming down from my high. his right hand met my waist slowly pulling my shirt up. “take it off,” he mumbled. i quickly took my shirt off before placing my lips back onto his. his hands met my nipples. he pulled his lips away from me before placing his warm mouth onto my nipple slowing sucking it. “matt,” i moaned eyes rolling back from the pleasure. he pulled away from me. “that’s all i wanted to hear from the moment, i met you.” he grunted. “fuck me, please.” “as you wish.”

he was massive. i didn’t know if he would be able to fit inside of me.

he lined himself up with my entrance. “ready?” his chain hanging over me. i nodded my head. his head slowly entered me before pushing his whole self into me. “ohhhhh,” i let slip out. “you ready baby?” he asked again before kissing me. “mhm.” i mumbled.

matt was pounding into me roughly and i wouldn’t want it any other way. god he felt so good inside of me. i have been missing out.

he slowly pulled out of me finishing all over my stomach. his load tripping down my hips. i quickly picked it up with my fingers and placing my fingers into my mouth. the salty-sweet taste entering my mouth. “i think you were made for me y/n, you feel way too good.” matt mumbled into my neck.

#matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #smut #pov #imagine

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colleendoran · 1 year

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How Do I Do Stuff

The question was phrased a little strangely, and I don't want to embarrass the person by posting exactly what was said, but I'll answer it and hope this clears everything up.

I do almost all of my drawing by hand. No, I don't trace in Photoshop. Not a judgment on those who do, but I come from a generation of artists who did not use Poser programs or other digital tools. We learned to draw using a technique called the Sight Size method. I know a lot of people assume everyone - including the old masters - traced everything using optical tools, but while it is true some people did, it is just as true that most didn't, and you can draw with great accuracy if you learned how to draw the old fashioned way.

Sight Size breaks everything down into its barest components of geometric shapes and you build from there. Once you learn it, you never forget, and it applies to everything you will ever draw.

I learned it using a set of Famous Artist Course books my mom had since she was a kid, and they are still the gold standard. They're often on ebay. If I were you, I'd buy them.

I actually find using figure reference really annoying because I like exaggerations and modifications from reality in my final work.

This page from Neil Gaiman's Chivalry was drawn and painted without figure reference of any kind.

I don't know why people assume I trace all the time. If you were to try to use photographs to replicate these figures, you would find they are slightly off. There is no tracing here.

This is not to say I never use reference. This page, for example, was referenced from a photo of my mother. Isn't she pretty.

But this page of Sir Galaad was drawn and painted without reference.

He's pretty, too.

If he were real, I'm sure a lot of people would be very happy about it. But he's not. And had I reference, the art would have gone a lot faster. I had a time trying to nail this face that is very alive in my head but doesn't really exist.

Back in the ancient days, all cartoonists had to learn to draw and paint extemporaneously because reference was limited and digital tools didn't exist. While some high end artists had photography studios and professional models with costume and sets on hand, small fry like me were limited to what was in the house or available at my small local library, which was no bigger than a few rooms of my current house.

Artists kept extensive "morgue files" or "swipe files" which were collected from magazine clippings and photographs so we would have as much of what we might need on hand for quick reference. These ephemera collections could get unwieldy. I have thousands of photographs I've simply never sorted. I finally dumped most of my files this past year.

Have I ever traced anything? Of course, especially if I have to re-use a shot or setting over and over. Making extra work for myself is just silly. It's my job to make pictures, not to perform magical feats, like copying one shot after another over and over without making a mistake.

However, for almost 15 years of my career, I refused to copy or trace anything, and did not even own a lightbox. On the one hand, that forced me to learn to carefully examine what I saw. On the other hand, it was a stupid hill on which many deadlines died.

Only after I realized many professional artists had lightboxes and overhead projectors did I finally break down and get one.

The one thing I use my lightbox for more than anything is for tracing my thumbnail sketches to the final drawing paper. Instead of trying to capture the liveliness of the original sketch by copying what I see - only bigger - I blow the thumbnail up to the size I want the final art to be, then I trace over the thumbnail using a lightbox onto the final drawing paper.

Here's a look at thumbnails from the graphic novel Neil Gaiman's Snow, Glass, Apples.

I enlarged these on my computer to fit onto 11"x14" paper, and traced the thumbs before finishing the art which was drawn in pen and ink and colored in Photoshop.

While I obviously made some changes, the essence of the thumbs is there in the final work. Tracing my thumbs retains some of the looseness of the original sketches, which is often lost otherwise.

So, there is a valid purpose to tracing at times, though in my opinion, too much tracing can weaken drawing ability, substitute for developing skills, and make the work kind of stiff.

If you want to, I'm not your judge. But it's weird to me that people think I must be faking my skills in some way.

Ironically, the word cartoon comes from the Italian word cartone, which is a large heavy sheet of paper - also, the origin of the word carton.

Preparatory sketches were made on this paper which was then transferred to the final work surface via either tracing or by stamping little holes in the paper through which dust was sprinkled, recreating the contours of the drawing for the artist to follow.

So the origin of the word cartoon comes from a process often used...for tracing.

#snow glass apples #chivalry #neil gaiman #drawing

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celestiababie · 1 year

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A Handful - K.MG

Pairings: Stay at home husband! Mingyu x fem! reader

Genre: fluff, highly suggestive (18+), domestic!au, established relationship!

Warnings: PREGNANT READER, chest fondling (m and f receiving), cursing, Mingyu is a little shit, reader is hormonal and easily annoyed, Mingyu possibly has a breeding kink, reader is shorter than Mingyu, let me know if I need to add anything else!

Word Count: 915 (short but I was on hiatus and this is the first thing I'm writing in MONTHS)

Summary: Your husband is no stranger to being touchy and clingy, but he's been especially annoying ever since you gave him the big news.

A/N: I'M MOTHERFUCKING BACK!!! I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing this. For reference, this acts as a small prequel to a small series I have about stay at home husband/dad! Mingyu. You don't have to read the other parts, but I will leave a link to the series masterlist just in case people want to read it. Please leave feedback, I'd really appreciate it, especially since I'm a bit nervous about posting again haha.

Series Masterlist

A pair of warm hands suddenly wrap around your growing stomach, engulfing you as a gigantic presence looms over you.

The shriek that escapes your lips is embarrassing, but not nearly embarrassing as your hands lose their grasp on the plate you were scrubbing, dropping it in the sink and causing the fine porcelain to shatter.

"Shit—are you hurt, baby?" Your husband's voice echoes through the not yet completed kitchen, irking you more than it normally would.

Spinning in his hold, you wipe your damp hands on the sides of your sweatpants before shooting him one of the deadliest (and sexiest) glares he's ever witnessed.

"No, I'm not hurt, but I keep telling you not to sneak up behind me when I'm doing the dishes! I don't even understand how your tall ass is that fucking quiet," you start, your brows furrowed as you hold your glare.

Mingyu opens his mouth to reply but can't get a single word out before you shush him with a single finger to the lips.

"I'm not finished. And this is the fifth. No, the sixth time a plate has broken since we've moved here."

"That's not that bad, Y/n," Mingyu defends with a pout accompanying his words.

You cock a brow at the tall man, scoffing at his pathetic defense, your tongue pressed into the side of your cheek.

Six plates is a lot for any man, but it becomes comical when it's only been a month and a half since moving into the new house with your klutz of a husband.

"You've also spilled drinks. Many times. Dropped multiple glasses. And don't think that I'm stupid and don't know you dropped the bottle of wine Minghao gifted us. I was looking forward to drinking that. That's pretty bad, admit it, Gyu," you list off, enjoying how a deep rosiness reaches the tips of his ears, almost as deep as the wine you'd never be able to appreciate.

Mingyu slowly turned your frame back around to face the sink once again. His hands roamed across your stomach, which was getting bigger and bigger with every day that passed.

Like always, Mingyu felt his heart racing in his chest as he caressed your stomach, his body flooding with that overwhelming emotion he could only describe as true unconditional happiness and love for both of his girls.

Okay, maybe he didn't know the sex of the baby yet, but his gut was telling him he was gonna be a father of a little baby girl, and he was sticking to it for now. His intuition rarely failed him, and if he hadn't stuck to his guns, he would have never got together with you.

"You wouldn't be able to drink it right now anyway, baby. Let's focus on things I'm good at, hm? The kitchen is almost done, and the living room looks beautiful, if I do say so myself. I'm pretty good at painting, so I'll have the nursing done in no time. I just cooked my beautiful wife a wonderful meal that she was moaning about the entire time," he shamelessly declares, the smugness apparent in his voice.

You bite back a sassy remark when you feel his hands traverse up your abdomen, gently grabbing your swollen breasts in his large hands to massage them carefully. Your head relaxes against him as you let out a deep sigh, your husband's skillful hands rubbing away the ache and soreness.

Mingyu studied your blissful expression for what felt like the millionth time. He'd never grow tired of how your eyes would flutter shut, eyelashes resting on the tops of your cheeks as your pretty lips parted, taking deep breaths as you savored the feeling of his hands on your body.

He tilts his head to bring his lips closer to your ear, "And I'm really good at making mommy feel good, isn't that right, baby?"

Your eyes roll behind your eyelids as you let out a breathy laugh, amused but not surprised by your husband's antics.

"You're so annoying, Mingyu," you moan, practically purring your husband's name, which only inflates his ego more.

"How convenient for me; you've always looked so damn sexy when annoyed."

A light bulb lights up in your head as you watch your husband's back muscles as he walks over to the kitchen sink to set aside the dishes.

Let's see how he likes it.

A Cheshire-like smirk paints your lips as you slowly come up behind your half-naked husband to wrap your arms around his waist, your stomach pressing against his tanned skin.

But much to your disappointment, Mingyu didn't give you the reaction you hoped for.

"Gonna keep me company while I wash up?"

You frown and deeply exhale as you crawl your hands further up his torso. Your nails drag along his skin, which generates a shiver throughout his entire being, goosebumps forming on his skin.

"No, I'm trying to give you a taste of your own medicine, but you're enjoying this too much," you reply, your fingers inching further with every word.

A low moan rumbles out of Mingyu as your hands feel up his sore chest from working out right before waking you for breakfast.

Shit, his chest got even bigger. Damn, that home gym he insisted on.

You watch as Mingyu writhes against you as your fingers trail over his nipples, a shaky breath forced out of his body as he grabs the edge of the sink.

He's so annoying.

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beetlejuicyy · 5 months

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Hi, hope you're doing well! If it's not much trouble, may I please request Jealous/Protective Bada x fem reader? Where reader is part of team Bebe and dating Bada (a fact only known by the other members and family.) Throughout the show, alot of the other ladies from different teams take a liking to reader and crush on her, finding her sexy and adorable and try to flirt with her and ask her out. Which Bada does well with brushing off for the most part until reader's ex shows up out of nowhere and tries to win her back.. With a little angst, but all in all fluffy and a tad smutty at the end, with sexy dominant Bada?

Possessive

Pairing: Bada × Bebe! reader

Synopsys: you are a member of team bebe in swf2 but not many people know you are also Bada's girlfriend

Warnings: gets nsfw by the end

Notes: im sorry this took so long :(

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

You were the first member of team Bebe to find out about Street Woman Fighter 2. The production reached out to Bada and, unlike the previous year when she had to turn down the offer, she was very much excited to join the show this time. She talked to you first, because being on TV meant that all eyes would be on you and your relationship which was very much intimate.

“Are you comfortable with that?” Bada asked. She was the leader of the team you were part of and she always made it clear when she was speaking as your leader or as your girlfriend.

“I know it’s important for you.” You replied.

“It’s important for you too.” She frowned.

“Yes, but I wouldn’t go through the hassle of hiding our relationship on TV for myself. I’d do anything for you though.”

Bada knew that. After deciding you would be teammates only for the public eye, she talked to the rest of the girls as well. Fast forward to the first few days on set, you found it harder and harder to act like friends only. It was stressful and tiring but you couldn’t lean on Bada as your girlfriend, but only as a friend. People were always with you, staff members, other contestants, lately fans would even greet you at the end of a long recording day. When you got home both of you only wanted to rest so there was really no time for the two of you.

But the show was fun and it was rewarding. People liked you more than you expected and soon you made friends amongst the contestants thanks to the missions you collaborated for.

“Bada is the type girls like.”

You heard this over and over since the first day. But the girls took a liking on you too. Maybe you weren’t as intimidating or cool like your girlfriend was, but you would often hear the girls screaming because of your sexy dance or cute charms.

“I wanna take you home with me!!” Harimu yelled as you showed off your moves in a battle. Bada would only smirk and brush it off, even if it was somewhat annoying. She was very proud of you and she couldn’t wait to reward you with a warm hug. She was the one taking you home anyway.

“Could you stop being so pretty? It’s distracting me.” Wackxxy joked when you were on a small break on set.

“Only for you.” You winked back at her in a flirting tone and she only yelled at you in embarrassment, blushing.

Bada didn’t mind this either. She knew you were playful and she was happy you felt comfortable around everyone. It was annoying though because she noticed Wackxxy had been checking you out across the room the whole day. But you were hers and that’s the only thing that mattered.

She didn’t witness the most annoying thing of all though. The leaders were working on the choreography for their mission and Bada was chatting with Halo exchanging impressions and advice about leading a team.

“It’s hard especially when they’re in a bad mood.” Halo complained, although she smiled. “Actually yesterday Haechi Wang was sooo impossible to deal with.”

“Is she ok?” Bada asked.

“Yeah, actually she will be.” Halo laughed. “It’s a secret though.” Bada raised her eyebrows in surprise. Halo didn’t need convincing. “She asked out one of your members. Y/n.” Bada felt her heart stop for a second. People making you compliments, flirting with you that was bearable. But she felt jealousy creep through every cell in her body when she imagined someone else taking you out.

“Oh really?” She replied, forcing herself to laugh nonchalantly.

“Yeah, she was rejected though.” Halo said. Bada exhaled in relief. “But she couldn’t concentrate at all after that. She really likes y/n.”

Bada confronted you that night on your way home, as if you weren’t exhausted enough.

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” She asked annoyed.

“When exactly? When you were busy teaching everyone the choreography or when you collapsed on the bed and fell asleep in your dirty clothes?” You spat back.

She didn’t say anything. It was sad that the only intimate discussion you had that day was to argue.

Sometimes you felt more like a fan of hers during the show. Whenever Bada would leave everyone astonished with her powerful moves and boyish charms you cheered with everyone else. She rarely looked at you, though, busy paying attention to the feedback of the judges or complimenting and hugging Kirsten. That also pissed you off but you brushed it off.

The closer you got to the finals, the more pressure Bada felt as the leader. Often times she would cry because of stress and all you could do was comfort her like a friend. You couldn’t kiss her, you couldn’t touch her more than a friend would. But that was ok.

Bada missed you, even though you worked together everyday. After Haechi Wang asked you out she started paying twice as much attention to every person getting close to you. She would get so petty that she would simply walk up to you and grab you by the hand when someone would be too familiar with you. It started showing on her face how annoyed she was when people called you sexy or pretty. Her tongue would poke against her cheek in suppressed anger when Mina Myoung called you girlfriend material.

However, the worst thing happened on the first time you had to perform with an audience. After several episodes aired on TV, people were very interested in the show so the venue was full. Amongst those people was also your ex. After the show, as you were waiting for the other members of Bebe to get ready to go home, a familiar voice called out your name. You turned around to see your very ex waiting outside to talk to you.

“Long time no see.” She said. You immediately thought you didn’t want Bada to see her here.

“What are you doing here?” You asked. The relationship didn’t last much but the toxic behavior left wounds that you still had to heal.

“I saw you on TV…” She said, taking a few steps closer to you. “And I missed you.”

“I don’t.” You brushed her off harshly.

“Hey.” She grabbed you by the hand and you felt your whole body react. You slapped her hand away in annoyance. “I know you miss me too.”

“I don’t. Can you leave please?”

“Don’t you think we deserve one more chance?” She insisted, standing right in front of you. You could smell her perfume and the smell brought back not so nice memories.

“What’s going on here?” Everything just got worse, you thought when you heard Bada’s voice. She knew your ex all too well. She walked past you, stopping in between the two of you, her taller frame pushing you gently behind her.

“We were remembering beautiful memories.” Your ex grinned at Bada, although your girlfriend was towering over her intimidatingly.

“She was leaving.” You said at the same time.

“Get the fuck out of here.” Bada said in a low voice. You saw her whole body tense as she clenched her fist.

“So you two are fucking after all! It’s so obvious even on TV.” Your ex was unfortunately not intimidated by her and you expected it. “I know that look in her eyes, when she’s looking at someone she’s fucking.” She continued, and you groaned in exasperation. You tried pushing Bada away but she wouldn’t move. “She’s giving it to me right now.”

As soon as the words left her lips Bada pushed her violently, kicking her against the wall. Grabbing her by the collar of her shirt, she pulled it harshly as she leaned her head so she could look directly in your ex’s eyes.

“Get lost or I call security.”

“Fine, fine.”

You remembered Bada being angry when you told her things about your past relationship. But you never imagined she would get this violent about it. As your ex left, not before gesturing you to call her, you leaned against the wall and sat down on the floor, exhausted. Bada crouched down in front of you, asking you if you were alright.

“I could handle it you know.” You sighed.

“I’m sorry I just… I got carried away.” Your girlfriend mumbled, grabbing your hand.

“You were badass though.”

The ride home was quiet as always since you started filming for the show. However, it wasn’t stressful like other nights. You were very tired so when you got home you went straight in the shower. You heard Bada over the sound of the running water, asking you if she could come in so she wouldn’t scare you. You thought she was going to take her makeup off or something, but she slid the door open and joined you in the shower. You gasped as her hands were cold when she grabbed you by the hips, pulling you closer. Your back was pressed against her as she pressed her cheek against your wet hair.

“I miss you.” She said.

“You saw me five minutes ago.” You joked but you were feeling a pleasant pressure in your lower stomach as your wet bodies pressed against each other.

“I miss my girlfriend.” She repeated, lips almost touching your ear. Her hand moved lower between your legs and her fingers slid between your folds, over your wetness.

“Then act like it.” You said, grabbing her by the wrist, guiding her hand exactly where you needed it to be. She pulled you gently, pushing you against the wet shower wall, careful not to slip.

“You’re mine, you know.” Her other hand cupped one of your breasts as her fingers pressed in circles against your clit. It was always so easy for her to get you wet. “You can tell that to everyone.” You moaned, leaning back your head in pleasure. “We can rehearse, hm? Tell me.” Her lips presses against the wet skin of your neck, sucking a little to hard.

“I’m yours.” You breathed out.

“That wasn’t it.” She clicked her tongue. You moaned loudly as she inserted a finger inside you, making it even harder for you to talk. “Try again.”

“I-ah…”

“Mhm. Come on baby.”

“I amhm…”

“You can do it, princess.” The more you tried to articulate words the faster her slender fingers moved inside you and you whimpered half in pleasure half in frustration.

“I am yours, Bada.” You finally managed to say.

“Good girl.” She praised you. “You can tell Haechi Wang that.”

#bada lee #bada lee imagine #bada lee x reader #swf2 x reader #bada lee x y/n #bada x reader #smut

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choppersconfirmedkills · 1 year

Text

Just Flowers

Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader (Ft. Best Friend Tess)

Word Count: 1.75k

Genre: Angst, with a bit of fluff

Warnings: Arguments, Joel being Joel, slight reference to an age gap, but it’s got fluff, not proofread

A/N: Happy Valentines Day! Here’s my first Joel Fic, I’m not all that content with it, the idea I had in my head didn’t really its way onto the page but I felt I should post it anyways.

Summary: It’s Valentines Day and you just wanted to do something nice for Joel.

It’s raining… in February. You could swear that ever since the outbreak occurred mother nature decided to switch everything up, weather included. But the rain didn’t bother you all that much especially when you had what you were looking for and you were finally home.

Or at least whatever this hobble was that you and Joel shared could be considered. The wallpaper was ugly and tattered, springs were sticking out of the couch, and you were pretty sure it was rat-infested, but it was what you had.

You tried to be as quiet as possible when entering the confines of the apartment knowing Tess would probably be over and sleeping and Joel trying to get some semblance of it. You didn’t wish to do that to them today because the truth is the two of them deserved just a little bit of peace. And luckily for you, they might have found it because the coast was clear.

Taking off your soaked outerwear, you took a sigh of relief. Everything had gone according to your hopes, which meant that tomorrow was going to go swimmingly. You wanted to surprise them with a few things. You had grown to care for both of these people, it was supposed to be just strictly business but eventually, they became the closest thing you had to family. With Joel, it was a bit different though. You knew he was closed off and pushed everyone in existence away, but you couldn’t help but fall for the old grump. And you thought he deserved to feel a little bit of that care you had for him.

Click.

“Shit,” you turned around to see that the lamp was turned on and Joel and Tess were on the couch, staring at you. As if your parents caught you sneaking in after curfew. Which you technically did.

“Do you have any idea what time it is?” Tess was the first to speak, adjusting in her seat slightly.

“Uhhhh, dark?”

“You’re damn skippy it is, where the hell were you at this time of night?” She stood up.

“Oh, nowhere and everywhere,” you responded, knowing you were being difficult, but there was no way you were spilling this secret right now. It wasn’t even Valentine's Day yet.

“That’s not a good enough answer,” Tess replied moving to grab your face and scanning you for injuries and bite marks. Tess would never admit it but she had a soft spot for you, you were like her younger annoying sibling that she could never get rid of. She was taking mental notes of your figure when she caught sight of your bandaged hand. You winced, preparing for the barrage that was about to come your way. “Where were you?” she asked again.

“Outside,” you huffed. It was a vague answer but they both knew what it meant.

“WHAT?” Joel was screaming, enough to make you physically flinch. “You went outside the walls? Alone? What the hell were you thinking?”

“Joel, would you chill out? You’re scaring her” Tess glared at him. “Sweetie, come with me. Let’s talk where grumpy can’t bother us.” Taking your hand Tess brought you out into the hallway.

“No, but seriously, what the hell were you thinking?” She smacked the back of your head, eliciting an obnoxious yelp from you. “Outside the walls?”

“Tess, I can handle myself just fine. Plus I didn’t go far,” you countered.

“It’s not you that I’m worried about. Joel about damn near had a heart attack. I’ve never seen him like that. And your hand? He’s going to lose it!”

“It’s not a bite,” you answered looking down at the bandage.

“I know it’s not, you wouldn’t have come in the apartment if it was. You scared us both, Y/N. Just don’t do it again.” Tess sighed.

“I’m sorry. I won’t. But I do hope this makes up for it a little bit?” You smiled reaching into your pocket and pulling out-

“Chocolate?” She gasped pulling the bar out of your hand.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” you smiled at her.

“How’d you even get your hands on it?”

“A lot of shifts shoveling shit, and putting up with one handsy smuggler,” you laughed, earning a scowl from her. “It’s dark chocolate so I hope it hasn’t gone bad, but I know it was your favorite from before all of this.”

“Alright, you’re forgiven, and thank you.” She pulled you into a hug which was not something she did very often. “Now go back in there and talk to Joel. Hopefully, you’ve got some incredible sweet talk up your sleeves for this because he is pissed.” She smiled at you and walked off towards her place, leaving you to deal with the fallout of a very angry Joel.

You took one last deep breath before opening the door to your inevitable doom.

“Are you stupid, dumb, or both?” So that’s how he was going to start this.

“Joel, I can take care of myself just fine. I did it long before you or Tess came along,” you sighed moving to look at him. When your eyes finally focused in the dark you realized, he was wet. His clothes and his hair. “Joel, did you go out there and look for me?”

“Of course I did! What else did you expect me to do? Sit here in our place and wait for you to possibly come back home?” He yelled. “What in the hell possessed you to do something so damn reckless?”

“I didn’t go far. Not even a mile outside the walls! I was out there maybe an hour tops,” you yelled back.

“An hour is plenty enough time for you to end up dead or worse.” Bit. “Knowing you that ain’t too far off an option!”

“Are you saying that I’m stupid enough to not watch my own fucking back? I know how to survive out there! You’re not the only person in the world who can do it!” You couldn’t understand why he was so angry at you. He had no reason to be, no ulterior motive. He didn’t have to take care of you. You just worked together and were roommates essentially. And like he told you all those years ago, he won’t get attached.

“Yes, I am. Considering you went outside the QZ, at night, past curfew, in the rain, and alone! If that ain’t stupid I don’t know what is.” He huffed.

“And would you look at that, I came out unharmed!”

“Then what the hell is this?” He grabbed your bandaged hand and held it up like it was the final clue in a murder mystery movie.

“It’s fine,” you started unwrapping it, “the bleeding stopped a while ago so I should probably take this thing off.” There it was, just a bunch of superficial cuts littered across your palm. Some as faint as a paper cut others deep enough to leave a faint scar.

“How did you possibly do that?” Joel sighed inspecting your injury. He had calmed down considerably seeing how unharmed you really were.

“What time is it?” You asked gently pulling your arm back to you.

“2 am. Don’t avoid the question,” he nearly growled. You just ignored it, walking towards the backpack you had long since discarded on the table. Reaching in you pulled out what you had caused this argument over.

“Close your eyes and hold out your hands,” you said facing away from him.

“Are you fucking shitting me right now? Answer my damn question, Y/N,” he grumbled, starting to get himself angry again.

“Just do it Joel, Jesus Christ.” You took his disgruntled sigh as a sign that he gave in to your ridiculous request. Being as subtle as possible you put the gift in his hands, delighting in the confused look that graced his features. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

You smiled a little watching him inspect what you gave him, but then you watched as he frowned and your heart broke a little. “Flowers? You did all that just for some fucking flowers?”

“Well, I’m sorry you don’t like them,” you scowled.

“It’s ridiculous! All that danger for a couple of fucking wildflowers. It’s not important!”

“It is to me, Joel!” You snapped.

“They’re just flowers, for fuck sake.”

“I know I was young when this all started, but every year on Valentine’s Day, my mother and I would go out into the yard and pick flowers to bring to my father as his gift,” you paused gathering your breath in hopes to prevent your voice from breaking, and you wore you could’ve heard him mutter ‘shit’ under his breath. “My mom used to tell me that giving someone flowers was a way to show you care and that Valentine’s Day was the perfect day to do so. So I wanted to do it for you. I don’t expect anything out of you, I never have, and I know you don’t let anyone in. I just wanted to show you my appreciation for you. Give you something beautiful in this shithole of a world.”

Joel was frozen gazing over the flowers, stuck in whatever thought process he was in. It was agony for you, floating in limbo while Joel fought a war with his thoughts. You don’t know how long it was until you heard him release the breath you didn’t even notice he was holding in. “God, don’t you ever do that again, you understand me?” He relented, pulling you into a hug, a hand placed on the back of your neck and the other on your lower back. “I thought you were gone.”

“I don’t ever plan on leaving you, Joel,” you nuzzled into his chest, content to just live within his warmth like this.

“Now, seriously, how did you hurt your hand?” he sighed.

“Oh, I guess I forgot that a lot of these things have thorns in them. It was worth it though,” You smiled looking up at him.

“That’s because you got me weeds,” the lightest chuckle escaped him, which made your heart burst at the seams.

“You asshole,” you lightly shoved him through your giggles, breaking away from the hug. “They are beautiful flowers!”

“You risked your life to get me weeds because that’s what these are.” You just huffed at his commentary and tried to stomp away from him. That didn’t fly with him because he pulled you back into his embrace, holding you even tighter this time. “But thank you,” he whispered into the crown of your head, leaving a ghost of a kiss there.

#tlou #the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #joel miller imagine #pedro pascal x reader #tlou imagine #the last of us imagine #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal angst #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction

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directdogman · 2 months

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Hey there's someone trying to say you said you were pro Israel on discord? They're anonymous and say you blocked them before they could get screenshots so I don't really believe them, but still :[

Mhm. Nice bit of news to wake up to, this.

Yeah, so this person's a troll and they're more than likely lying on purpose in order to try to me look bad because I blocked them on Twitter for being unpleasant, something I rarely even do and they're still seething about it. The block had nothing to do with Gaza, the person was just being annoying and I thought it'd be healthier to block and move on. I'd really prefer not to have to give this person energy, but if there's a rumor going around, I'd like to nip it in the bud, since it's very easy to disprove in this case.

To explain what this person's blathering about: Earlier this week, on a Phonegingi plush advert, this random user that doesn't follow me (and actually instructs fans of mine not to interact with them in their bio) made a dramatic QRT decrying me for posting a DT advert during a strike week, which I honestly had no clue it was, especially since my own timeline was (and still is) full of accounts posting normally.

Given that the person seemingly encountered one of my posts in the wild and ended up seething because of it + likely didn't want anything to do with me on their timeline (as their bio indicated), after thinking it over briefly, I did the healthy thing and just blocked the person + moved on. Makes sense, right? I'll admit: Even if the way the person approached me was regrettable, if I'd known it was a strike week, I'd have participated (as I'd participated in the last one), so I stopped posting teasers for the week anyway, only resuming again yesterday.

I'll also say: I checked my own timeline btw and looked at the accounts posting, and nobody else had anyone acting like this in their replies, even the much larger accounts. Nor did anyone else contact/reply to me in any way stating any disapproval.

Given that I've only blocked one account recently that isn't a replybot (and ofc, given the subject matter of that tweet), I'd have to assume that this is the anonymous person spreading stuff.

I'd understand where this person was coming from if maybe I'd stayed completely silent about Gaza, (which a lot of accounts I follow have) but I haven't. I had a Palestinian aid post pinned on my Twitter for weeks, I've talked about Gaza's child population and my support for South Africa's Hague suit in my discord server, I've engaged in the boycotts, wound down posting during strikes, donated a pretty substantial amount of Dialtown revenue towards sending money/esims... I have 4 bucks in my bank account right now and when my next DT check comes in, you'd better believe I'll be giving more. That's my right as a private citizen and one I'll continue to exercise.

I feel pretty uncomfortable having to put this stuff in front of me to 'prove' myself, even if some of it is public anyway. Charity should be something you do because you CARE and if it wasn't for this person, I'd have been far happier keeping a lower profile and not explicitly calling attention to my own aid, but given this ask, I feel it'd be stupid not to nip this in the bud. The majority of this information could be easily found with the tiniest amount of digging, btw, so it's not like the user couldn't have known any of this. This is the part of having a fandom that creators seldom talk about. You block one person for being a lil annoying, next thing you know, there's rumors that you support genocides! Fun.

So yeah, I'd like you to tell this person to just move on like a normal person (send them this post if you have to) and to stop spreading incorrect rumors about me out of spite. If they insist, I'm happy to pull up receipts to prove everything I've said. If they actually thought I was pro-Israel, they wouldn't be spreading it anonymously, they'd be writing another public post about the subject matter. Also if you see anyone repeating the rumor, please correct them. Thanks.

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drdemonprince · 1 month

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Your post about "transitioning to escape gender but then there's more gender" has been rotating furiously in my mind since I saw it. When I first realized I was trans at age 15, I identified as agender, but I knew I wanted to go on T and get top surgery so I decided it would be simpler to tell everyone I was a trans man and that just kind of became the truth. Now 10 years later I'm sorta starting to feel like I wanna actually be agender again, but the idea of an identity shift like that at my current age is terrifying and idek who I'd tell, or how I'd do it, and I don't think I wanna stop using he/him exclusively, and I have no idea why I'm telling *you* this other than that I'm scared to talk to anyone I know about it because it feels like somehow admitting that I was wrong about the gender I fought like hell to become, even though i don't really think that's the case I think my sense of self might just be continuously evolving... but I just wanna say you talking about having a gender shift like once every several years is helping me process this rn and feel like I'm not faking anything now AND wasn't faking anything before.

Dog i am right there with you. As a kid I always thought gender was bullshit, the coercive nature of it disgusted and scared me and I rebelled against it the best that I could. I loathed being assigned to any gender category, I never identified as a "girl", but I didn't really identify with any other category either. Puberty terrified me (and of course, it does most young people, but it felt like it would only more deeply entrench the category that I was assigned to in other people's minds, it made it more difficult to escape). I had trans friends as a teen but it did not occur to me to transition because there was really no end goal that I wanted to head toward, I just knew what I wanted to avoid and not experience. I coped mostly by degendering my body with a fairly androgynous style and way of presenting myself to the word and mannerisms, but also by starving myself which was not so great, and not sustainable. I considered transness for myself, even trying on a friend's binder and presenting masculinely at certain queer events, but it seemed to me at the time like just another way in which to obsess over gender, a foolish coercive socially constructed thing that i was trying to avoid.

In my 20s, I learned more about nonbinary people and figured that explained things pretty well. I was enamored with the transition journeys of some other trans people, largely trans women more than trans masculine ones (with some trans-effeminate faggot boy exceptions), but I still didn't want to take on all the expense and uncertainty and hassle of navigating the medical system for myself. I didn't think that the pursuit of being happy merited taking on so many risks or fiddling with myself so much. I saw it as an extravagance I didn't deserve, I guess, and I also couldn't locate a target outcome that seemed desirable enough for me. I was still dealing with an eating disorder and recovering from some trauma and didn't really think about my life in the long term. I guess I still don't, haha, whoops.

Eventually I came out as nonbinary, and nobody really gave a shit. There is a lot of useless, solidarity-breaking discourse that happens online about essentially who is "more" oppressed, binary trans people or nonbinary people, and a lot of that fight amounts to the two groups shouting about the ways in which they annoy one another without there being any cogent analysis of power and where oppression comes from (let alone how much those two categories overlap).

But I will say that being a they/them was far more difficult than being a trans guy socially and institutionally, because your identity is completely illegible to every system around you. "binary" trans people struggle under this too, but i have found there are some immense benefits to having a socially and institutionally legible target gender. nobody would fucking actually they/them me. not anyone. not even other trans people and queer people. there were no public gendered spaces for me. there were no spaces for me. there was no way to move through the medical system, professional life, and other public institutions as a nonbinary person. i was still just a cis woman in everyone's eyes. including the people who claimed to support me. and it was massively frustrating.

and so i think ultimately, i took my frustrations with not being at all able to escape coerced gendering as a nonbinary person and combined that with the affinity i do feel for queer men and the general sense of misery i was still experiencing in my life and decided what the hell, i'll round myself up to being a trans guy. i upped my T dose, i dressed more masculinely, i eventually got a super masculine hair cut that really squared off my jawline and got me gendered correctly, and i started more consciously inhabiting queer men's spaces.

and it was pretty dope. for a while. i felt the rush of having gotten away with something. when people effortlessly gendered as male i felt freed at last from the pressure to be a woman. i was no longer being coerced into being something that i was not. i had escaped the enforced category so much that people couldn't even see the history of that category being pushed onto me. there was relief.

but then. as always happens. people made little comments about my handshake being too weak for a man. the hypermasc dudes at the leather bar rolled their eyes at me and all the other effeminate dudes swanning around the bar. the people who picked me up off the apps or at the sauna would always let it slip, eventually, that they had a lot of experience with trans guys, or had most recently been dating all trans guys, and it would make me feel like a stock character to them, yet another category into which all kinds of assumptions had been projected. a type not a person. a few people said my haircut made me look like i was in the military or described me as actually masculine, which was equally jarring because it was so incorrect. people tried to affirm me by saying i was such a dude, i was such a man, i was such a fag, i was such a gay bro, pawing all over me leaving the mark of all their assumptions and oversimplifications behind. i had tried to run away from gender and there i was just BASTING all the time in everybody's goddamn assumptions about gender. trans people didn't talk about it any less than cis people did, they were just as fucking confining to be around.

it honestly feels really dirty. when people try to affirm your gender constantly and can't stop talking about it, when people look past you and see only your body, your history, or the role they have typecast you in, when people use your body as an outlet for their own gender or sexuality explorations, when they keep trying to measure every single facet of existence up into being masculine or being feminine or being toppy or bottomy or any other gendered type, it's claustrophobic.

as a trans man i tried playing this whole gender game and the second i started winning i began to feel even more disgusted with myself. it wasn't a victory or an escape, it was a capitulation. exploring with my identity and presentation has brought positive things into my life and my health has gotten better as a result, and i've made wonderful friends who, like me, are disaffected by this coercive gendering system. so i don't regret any of that. but trying to make myself legible under the existing gendered system was a fool's fucking errand. i wish i hadnt done it to myself and i wish i hadnt had it pushed onto me. to be clear, it was cissexist, binarist society that forced it onto me; even when other queer people coated me in their gendered assumptions that is obviously a byproduct of societal conditioning, and it's conditioning that ive reinforced in my own behavior and outlook toward others plenty of times too. we all do it, and we are all wronged by the existing coercive gender system.

i dont even care how i fucking identify anymore and i have no intention of changing pronouns again or anything, i'm so bored of it, i just actually want off this fucking thing. im not interested in trying to make others understand what i am anymore or in who i am even being simply categorizable, i dont want to obsess anymore over how i am perceived or to attempt engineer my appearance and mannerisms to broadcast an identity to anyone. i dont even want to fuck anybody right now at all because im so sick of how much that's a gender pantomime for people. i want off this fuckin ride man im so done.

it's kind of freeing, to hit this point of complete gender apathy, and i think it is a pretty common stage of identity development for a lot of queer people who have explored multiple identities and roles over time. there is no category that i actually am, or that anyone is, there are just the frameworks that society has given us to work with to understand ourselves, and the ways in which we flatten who we are to be able to make sense of the world using those frameworks. but who i actually am is so much more contextual and mutable than all that. i am a different person in the classroom than i am on the train platform than i am in the bedroom than i am cuddling on the couch than i am when i'm working out than i am when curled up on the floor crying than i am at a big furry convention. who i am continues to change as new people come in and out of my life and age and change and my body alters and as the weather turns. who fuckin knows man it's nothing and everything. i want to let it just be

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 month

Note

AITA for breaking up with my partner of four years who I live with?

sorry this is a long one but I don't want to leave stuff out and make it seem biased.

My partner (22F) and I (22F) have been together since senior year of high school, just before COVID hit, and have lived together for a bit over a year now.

It's her first time living outside her parents' house, and early on she was a really crappy housemate. I ended up nagging at her a lot and having to use gentle parenting techniques to get her to do basic housework and do her share of responsibilities. We had a fight around six months in, where I told her I felt like I had to parent her, and she understandably took it poorly. Since then, she's put in a lot more effort around the house in a way that felt less like it was a product of caring, and more like the product of fearing abandonment. I pointed this out to her, and she said that she was trying harder because she loved me and wanted me to be comfortable in our home, though she had made several offhand comments that she was always worried about pissing me off.

I've been clinically depressed for a long time, and one of the chief ways it's manifested is irritation and anger. It developed into a problem, and I started getting therapy/ medication. Often I would end up being pretty mean to her. I felt bad about it, but she would get on my nerves a lot. I get overwhelmed and overstimulated easily. She has unmedicated ADHD and often comes in and starts hyperactively info-dumping about her day without a greeting or anything, knowing I had just woken up (I work nights).

She stopped doing that only after months of me asking her to and enforcing that boundary. Sometimes I was hurtful about it, but when I was nice about it she tended to ignore me or "forget" I'd asked her to stop doing that.

The last six months she's been better about things, but the first six months of living together kinda killed my feelings for her. At first, I thought it was stress from school, work, and other things related to the house (bug infestations, things breaking constantly, standard Landlord Special bullshit). But more and more I found myself annoyed with her. I'd often make rude comments about her behavior out of frustration. When I tried to discuss things more maturely, she'd break down crying and panicking, and I'd reassure and comfort her afterward instead of getting to express my feelings. She'd rarely express hers, just start sobbing and apologizing and saying she'd change, which made me feel awful and like I couldn't express grievances to her.

I'd try to get some space from time to time, and she'd get extremely anxious and seek reassurance, which I'd give to her because I didn't want to start anything. I thought I'd come back around and find happiness with her again. She'd been extremely patient with me throughout the relationship, with my moodiness and temper. I'd tried changing that about myself, but I found that the only thing that ever seemed to help my moods was getting space from her.

In late 2023/Jan 2024 I ended up having to get a couple surgeries, and she was supportive and caring in a way not many people would be for their partners. She made time to take care of me while I was more or less disabled and gave me grace as I worked through the emotional aspects of my health issues.

During this time I started having feelings for her again, but within a week of recovering, I was back to feeling the same sense of vague irritation and resentment as before, even though her behavior had changed and she was objectively being an amazing partner.

I realized I wasn't happy in this relationship and felt tremendous pressure to be responsible for somebody who had fallen behind me in terms of emotional maturity. I couldn't discuss big issues with her without her breaking down and panicking, and I felt like I had to walk on eggshells because of it. I was hurtful to her because of it, and it wasn't fair to stay a relationship I was no longer emotionally invested in.

Before I left for work one day, she ended up pressuring me into talking about what was on my mind after I told her I didn't feel the time was right to discuss it. I told her how I felt and that a breakup seemed like the healthiest way forward for us. She shut down, started crying, panicking, saying that we could work it out and go to couples therapy, etc. By this point, I had kind of lost faith in her ever fulfilling any promises related to therapy. I had to leave for work and she wouldn't stop talking about it, so I ended up apologizing, taking it back, and saying we could work it out.

A busy week or two went by where I was noticeably less nice to her, hoping that when I tried to break up with her again she wouldn't get emotional whiplash from it coming seemingly out of nowhere. I wrote out what I wanted to say in a letter and told her that I had things to talk about, but put them in a letter so she'd have time to process it instead of shutting down. I told her this, as well, to give her something of a warning.

I asked her what she thought we talked about during that big argument, and she said she honestly couldn't remember. We then went to a concert where I got drunk to try and enjoy things (I did) but she couldn't have a good time due to worrying about our conversation. I gave her the letter two days later, left it for her in the morning to read and process while I was in class that day.

It understandably went poorly, and she blames me for being a shitty partner, for being mean, for ruining the concert which was the one thing that she had looked forward to us doing as partners, and for treating her like shit in the weeks leading up to the breakup, and has indirectly asked if I can stay elsewhere on the nights where we'd be sharing a bed. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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harleehazbinfics · 2 months

Text

Home is where my heart is.

Chapter 5: Happy Hotel Table of Contents | Profile

Word Count: 2032

“—so ladies and gentlemen, I’m opening the first of his kind! A hotel that rehabilitates sinners!”

I give an amused hum looking at the TV then commenting, “Well, isn’t that something, hun?”

“Indeed so. How about we introduce ourselves later, sweetheart?” he mentions somewhat mysteriously holding the small of my back.

“Wow, look at you, perking up all of a sudden,” I said looking at him surprised, but he just raises an eyebrow at me, I shrugged and continued, “Well, you know. You just seem so disinterested in these matters concerning others, especially angels before.”

He laughs and replies, “Well, over the years of toppling overlords, angels seem to be the most troublesome bunch for now. Not to say I’d lose to those pesky flies from heaven.”

I nodded my head finding reason in his explanation. “That’s fair enough. Though, things have changed since you’ve been gone, Al. Even I’m attending those annoying meetings for you,” I complained.

“I apologize, my dear,” he coddled, “I know how fussy you get when you go for long without me.”

I gasped dramatically hand over my chest, “Me? Fussy? Should I mention that you would literally drag down a person that was just talking to me?”

“Oh, please. He was very clearly trying to hit on you, and you’re too nice to even turn them down, sweetheart,” he rebuts rolling his eyes.

“I could’ve handled it myself,” I harrumphed cheekily turning my cheek at him.

“Of course you would have, my darling,” he dismisses me playfully.

I scrunched my face at him which he only responded with a pinch on my nose playfully with a genuine smile on his face. I turn to face some demons who were charging at us, no doubt some of Mammon’s goons who accepted the job for some drugs, I sighed and waved my hand over their figures and watched as water appears and jets them off to the side. Tightening my hands into a fist encasing them in water to drown in, leaving them there.

“See. Very powerful,” I told my husband gesturing at the drowning fools that stopped releasing water bubbles from their mouth.

“Seems like you’ve also been busy for these 7 years apart,” he mentions.

“I’d rather not talk about it,” I glared off the side annoyed.

We appeared on the hill where this hotel that the princess of hell advertised earlier. My heart clenched when I hear her trying to call her mom wondering if Abby did as much when I disappeared so suddenly. She goes inside without noticing us.

Al, being the gentleman he was, knocked on the door first.

“Hel—” slam “—oh” slam

“Pff, you scared the poor thing,” I laughed at him crossing my arms. He pinches my cheek then turns back to the door.

“May I speak now?”

“You may,” she elongates crossing her arms trying to be authoritative making me chuckle at how cute she was.

“Alastor! Pleasure to be meeting you, sweetheart! Quite the pleasure. This is my wife, Miledy,” he introduced the both of us while he walks right in through the door, and continues rapidly, “Excuse our sudden visit but we saw your fiasco at the picture show, and I just couldn’t resist! What a performance! My I haven’t been that entertained since the stock market crash of 1929! Hahaha! So many orphans...”

I raise my eyebrow at him, then realizing he really doesn’t care much for other people’s well-beings if it was our family. I’m pretty sure he misses Abigail to this day.

“Hi, I’m Miledy. Aren’t you the cutest?” I cooed pinching her cheek dotingly. She awkwardly laughs at my actions and waits for me to pull away from which I did, seeing how polite the daughter of hell is. “Sorry about him.”

“Stop. Right. There!” a spear pointed at Alastor making both Charlie and I’s eyes widen at the aggression. “I know your game. I’m not gonna let you hurt anyone here! You pompous, cheesy, talk show shit-lord!”

He laughs drily and moves the spear away, “Dear, I wanted to hurt anyone here... I would have done so already.”

They back away frightened at Alastor’s intimidation the room changing, symbols and shadows flickering in the room while his eyes turned into their infamous stare.

“No! I’m here because I wanted to help!” he exclaimed.

“Say what now?” “Huh?”

“Help!”

I let him do his theatrics while I moved around looking at pictures framed on the wall finding many paintings of the Morningstar family, some probably with their close friends, and many posters of Lilith’s shows.

“So, who’s fish breath over here?”

“I beg your pardon?” I turned to the voice and met eyes with a pink spider sinner adapting a very... voluminous form.

“What’s the deal between you and smiles over there?” he asked jabbing his thumb at Al’s direction.

I just smiled at him and said nothing while the little lady asks, “Wait, you’ve never heard of them before? You’ve been here longer than me.” He shrugs making her continue, “The Radio Demon, The Siren? Two of the most powerful being’s hell has ever seen?”

“Eh, not big on politics,” he gives up slumping back on the couch where I sat next to him, much to his comfort.

“Hmm, I’d like to know how the masses see us,” I mused placing my chin on my hand curiously.

She bites back a groan and explains, “Decades ago, Alastor manifested in Hell, seemingly overnight. He began to topple Overlords who have been dominant for centuries. He and the Siren always worked together, always one without the other. She had the voice that only second to Lilith herself. That kind of raw power had never been harnessed by a mortal soul before. Then, he broadcast their carnage all throughout Hell just so everyone could witness their ability. Sinners started calling him "The Radio Demon" (as lazy as that is). Many have speculated what unimaginable force enabled him to rival our world's most ancient and destructive evils. But one thing's for sure: They’re an unpredictable source of danger, a wicked spirit of mystery, and a violent monster of chaos, the likes of which we can't risk getting involved with unless we want to end up erased!”

“Interesting,” I commented with a grin grazing my eyes over at Alastor.

“You done? He looks like a strawberry pimp,” he laughs looking back the pair.

She huffs then crosses her arms and answers, “Well, I don’t trust him!”

“To be fair, do you trust any man? Any men? Men?” he chides then laughing making the woman glare at her while I just stared at the both of them, my head resting on both my hands now finding their exchange fun.

I appeared beside Al as he waited for Charlie to decide, “Why are you suddenly invested in the princess?”

He shrugs and gives me a lazy grin and answers, “Well, it seems like fun.”

“Rightt,” I drawled out not asking him further, he may be like this in public, but I know he doesn’t do anything unless it favors him.

“Okay, so, Al. You're sketchy as fuck and you clearly see what I'm trying to do here as a joke.” She pauses, “But, I don't. I think everyone deserves a chance to prove they can be better. So, I'm taking your offer to help. On the condition that there be no... tricks or voodoo strings attached.”

“So, it's a deal, then?” he offers holding out his hand to take as the room glowed green and wind blowing past us.

“Nope! No shaking! No deals! I... hmm... As princess of Hell and heir to the throne, I, uh, hereby order that you help with this hotel. For as long as you desire,” she orders politely as Alastor fixes up his hair, “Sound fair?”

“Hmm... Fair enough!” He hums as he inspects the room.

“Smile, my dear! You know you're never fully dressed without one!” he teases Vaggie wiggling his finger under her chin to annoy her. “So where is your hotel staff?”

“Uh, well-.”

“Ohohoho, you're going to need more than that,” he remarks walking towards the pink spider, “And what can you do, my effeminate fellow?”

“I can suck your dick!” he offers enthusiastically.

“HAH! No,” Al denies immediately while I gave the spider a harsh glare, a few of my water demons popping out of the ground menacingly making him whimper.

“You know what? I changed my mind!” he states awkwardly trying to save his skin.

“Well, this just won't do!” Al yells summoning his staff, “I suppose I can cash in a few favors to liven things up.”

He conjures up a nice fireplace and lifts up a black blob with a big eye, dropping it to the ground.

“Hi, I'm Niffty! It's nice to meet you! It's been a while since I've made new friends!” he introduces, “Why're you all women? Are there any men here?! I'm sorry, that's rude. Oooh, man! This place is filthy! It really needs a lady's touch! Which is weird because you're all ladies, no offense. Oh, my gosh! This is awful! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope!”

When Nifty walks past me I give her a pet on the head with a smile which she enjoyed, as Husker arrives along with a casino table.

“Ah, Husker, my good friend! Glad you could make it!”

“Don't you "Husker" me, you son of a bitch! I was about to win the whole damn pot!” he yells and facepalms when the money disappears.

“Good to see you too!” he replies clearly enjoying annoying Husk.

“What the hell do you want with me this time...?” he sighs defeated.

“My friend, I am doing some charity work, so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services! I hope that's okay!”

“Are you shittin' me?!”

“Hmm... No, I don't think so!”

“You thought it'd be some kind of big fucking riot just to pull me out of nowhere?! You think I'm some kind of fucking clown?!”

“Maybe!”

“I ain't doing no fucking charity job.”

“Well, I figured you would be the perfect face to man the front desk of this fine establishment!” he says summoning a bar, “With your charming smile and welcoming energy, this job was made for you! Don't worry my friend. I can make this more welcoming! ...If you wish.”

Husk stares at the bottle of cheap booze that Al summoned for him and exclaims, “What? You think you can buy me with a wink and some cheap booze?! ...Well, you can!”

Vaggie starts yelling while gesturing at the bar, “Hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! No! No bar, no alcohol! This is supposed to be a place that discourages sin! Not some kind of mouth…brothel…man cave!”

Angel lunges at her effectively cutting her of and yells “SHUT UP! SHUT! UP! We are keeping this!”

“So, whaddaya think?” Al asks Charlie.

“This is amazing!” she answers happily rubbing her cheeks.

“It's... okay,” vaggie answers less enthusiastically while her arms crossed.

“Hahaha! This is going to be very entertaining!” Al pulls the three of us in and starts his little parody of the song Charlie sang that we listened to earlier.

“Hah! Well, well, well. Look who it is harboring the striped freak! We meet yet again, Alastor!” Sir Pentious greets valiantly making me smile.

Alastor only responds with, “Do I know you?”

He visibly deflates like a balloon and retaliates, “Oh, yes you do! And this time, I have the element of- SURPRISE! Ahaha! I'm so evil!”

With the power in Alastor’s hand he immediately shuts down Sir Pentious’ little parade. Summoning a portal of his black tendrils and smashing the blimp into bits. We watched as it was broken apart and him being thrashed around, making me feel bad for the poor guy.

“...Well, I'm starved! Who wants some Jambalaya? My mother once showed me a wonderful recipe for Jambalaya. In fact, it nearly killed her! Hahaha! You could say the kick was right out of Hell! Ohoho, I'm on a roll! Yes, sir! This is the start of some real changes down here! The game is set! Now... Stay tuned…”

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin angel dust #hazbin charlie #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin husk #hazbin lucifer #alastor x reader #hazbin vaggie #alastor x oc #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor

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gay-wh0re-slut · 6 months

Note

When I say angst I mean I’ve read all of your work twice and it’s sooooo good

I need it

OOOHHHHH!!! thank you so so much then! lemme think lemme think!! i hope this one will suit your needs hehe but i’m gonna do just angst w happy ending no smut bc i’m afraid i’m repeating myself so enjoyyy

Just Lovely

rhea x fem!reader

content: just angst, but happy ending! with a kiss probably!

The Feud, everyone called it. You and Rhea had hated each other since the minute you met. Unfortunately, you had some matches against her but the chemistry or lack of made for a good show, so they kept scheduling you to fight. You hated it. You always wanted to stay professional though, so you didn’t want to actually hurt her in the ring, just her ego. You were the complete opposite of her style, girly, flowery, pastels, but you became a heel for her only. Everyone ate it up.

Without requesting, the PA’s would make sure that you were on the completely opposite side of the locker room or in different ones entirely depending on the venue. Neither of you were sure why you hated each other but you didn’t have the will power to figure it out.

One day, the producers told you that you needed to fix the feud for the storyline. You refused of course and you assumed she did too.

“The people want to see the two of you kiss and makeup, essentially,” they said.

“I would rather never see her again, to be honest with you,” you fired back.

“Unfortunately, that can’t happen.”

“Unless she comes to me herself and says that she wants to, which I doubt she will with that big head of hers, I will not ‘kiss and makeup’ for the sake of the story line,” you cross your arms.

The men sighed as they nodded and walked away.

“Do I really have a big head?” the annoying accent said behind you.

You’re kidding, you thought. You turn around with your jaw clenched, rolling your eyes, “you win every match, how can you not?”

“Guess they asked you to play nice, huh?” she walked towards you.

You put your hand up to stop her from coming any closer, “yes.”

She stopped right at your hand, centimeters from her chest. You pull your hand away immediately, what was that about, you thought as your stomach turned.

“And what if I did want to stop ‘the feud’, would that be so bad?” she smiled.

“You’ve hated me the moment I got signed, why would you change now?”

“For the fans…everything I do is for them,” she sounded sincere, but you couldn’t help rolling your eyes.

“Oh shut up, you’re here because you bring in the big bucks, not because of-”

“Don’t start,” she growled.

“Did I pinch a nerve?” you pouted.

“I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them,” she admitted.

You felt a soft spot forming for her but you pushed it down, “I don’t have time for this, I have the first match,” you walk away.

The show came and went, but you couldn’t stop thinking about her. She consumed your thoughts, she made you shake and see red anytime you thought of her. It was exhausting, honestly. Part of you wanted to stop this whole thing so that you could rest but it brought you more fame, and unfortunately you wouldn’t be where you are without The Rhea Ripley.

“Hey…uhm, Rhea wants to see you,” the PA was nervous, “I can tell her no, no problem, though she is pretty scary but I can do it.”

“Did she tell you what she wanted?” you were packing your bag.

“N-no, I didn’t get that far,” they were wringing their hands.

You sigh not wanting to scare them more, “It’s okay,” you reassure, “where is she?”

“In locker room 12.”

“Thank you,” you gave a weak smile and walked out of the locker room. You heard them sigh with relief behind you.

So you started making your way across the arena, it felt like. You racked your brain to figure out what she could possibly want. Does she actually want to go through with this? Does she have an ultimatum? Does she want to beat the shit out of me? All these thoughts ran through your head.

You knocked on the door and let yourself in without a response.

“Glad to see you got the stick out of your ass to come here,” she snickered.

“What do you want, Rhea?” you stood just inside the door with your hands on your hips wanting this to be over as soon as possible.

“To talk,” she gestured to the chair, “Is that okay?”

You squinted at her to try to figure out the game she was playing. You stood for a good minute before you decided to sit. You threw your duffle beside the chair as you sat down. You crossed your legs and your arms as you leaned back.

“Thank you,” she sat across from you leaning herself on her knees.

“Psh,” you rolled your eyes.

“About the storylin-” she started.

“I already said no,” you interrupted.

“And I would much rather not do it either, but I’m trying to be the bigger person here, princess,” she mocked.

Your stomach turned again, “For a heel, you’re too nice sometimes, you know that?”

“It’s a curse…anyway,” she leaned back, “I think we should do it.”

“Why?”

“Because we’ll get more attention. In turn, getting more of the women involved, and you know how we’ve been treated,” she seemed to be quite nice but somehow it made you dislike her more.

“I guess so,” you started to swing your leg, “what’s in it for you? There’s always a catch.”

“When has there ever been a catch with me?”

“Oh c’mon, you can’t be anywhere without your puppy dog Dom following you around on and off screen. He brings you more attention than you could on your own,” your tone was pointed.

“Don’t bring Dom into this, this isn’t about him,” she leaned herself back towards you with a point before leaning back again.

“Whatever,” you turn your head away.

“There is no catch, I’m serious. This would be better for both of us.”

You let that sit in the air for a moment before she spoke again.

“Why do you hate me so much?” her voice was small.

You looked back towards her rubbing your tongue over your teeth before you opened your mouth, “I don’t want to get into this,” you start to stand up.

“Please,” she grabbed your wrist.

You’re shocked at her reaction, your stomach turning again. You ripped your hand away from her grip. You stood for a moment contemplating whether or not you should tell her the truth or make something up. So you decide to ask, “Do you want the TV answer or the truth?”

She shrugged as she gestured towards you, letting you choose. She leaned back once more.

You look at your phone for the time, unfortunately it wasn’t as late as you thought it was so that excuse was out. “Fine,” you didn’t sit back down though. “I hate you because I can’t beat you.”

She chuckled, “You’re serious?”

“…Yes.”

“You’re lying. Now I want the truth, because that was obvio-”

“Please shut up,” you rest your head in your hand. You look back at her as she’s smirking, your heart begins to beat faster, “I- yeah, no I can’t do this right now. We have a plane to catch tomorrow.”

You grab your bag and head for the door. Somehow she beats you to it and closes it, basically pinning you to the door. Your breath hitched and your stomach turned. Only now did you realize that it wasn’t sickness, it was butterflies, dammit.

“I want to know. I want to know what I did wrong so I can fix it. If I hurt you, I’m sorry. I’m tired of fighting off camera, you’re the only person who seems to not like me and I want to know why…please,” she admits.

Your breathing was heavier and you didn’t have much air left. You ducked under her arm and went back to the chair leaning your hands on the back of it. She turns to face you, not getting closer.

“Fuck…Damn it,” you said under your breath, “fine!” you threw your hands up in surrender. You were tired of fighting too, you guessed now would be the time to tell her because obviously you didn’t have to balls to start the conversation. “I’m jealous of you.”

“What?”

“I’m jealous of you! Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“Well…no,” she leaned against the door with her arms crossed.

“Well, I am. You’re so popular, and strong, and your fans absolutely adore you, they’d do anything for you. You get everything you want here and more! It’s ’Monday Night Mami’ for crying out loud,” your face was red and you could feel the tears starting to form but you pushed them back.

She let you continue.

“Even Triple H loves you, the writers love you, everyone loves you. I get jack shit when I walk into the ring. I’ve tried everything to get people to like me, I’m the girly girl who hates you because we’re complete opposites,” a single tear fell down your face, “I’m tired of being compared to the other girls. I don’t know how you do it. So I’m jealous okay, that’s why I… don’t like you.”

She stared at you for a minute before she grabbed a tissue from the box on the counter and handed it to you.

“And you’re too nice,” you added.

“Well that I can vouch for but the rest?” she lifted your chin to wipe the tear away, “I worked my ass off to get here, that’s why people love me I like to believe. Nothing was handed to me though it may seem like it. Like I said earlier, everything I do is for my fans, seriously, if it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t be pushing myself to be better.”

“God this is embarrassing,” you sniff.

“It isn’t, I’m glad you’re telling me,” she rubbed your shoulder.

You gave her a weak smile before brushing off her hand and stepping away from her, “that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want to change the storyline.”

“Not even for one match?”

“No,” you crumble up the tissue, “being mean to you on camera is too fun,” you giggled.

“Right,” she sighed dramatically, “it would be a shame if we became best friends and won the tag team titles though.”

“Don’t dangle that in front of me,” you point.

“The writers love a redemption arc,” she kept going.

“Stop it,” you begin to smile.

“Or maybe, we could kiss and makeup on camera for our next match instead of fighting?” she swayed towards you.

“W-we could do that,” the butterflies in your stomach were sprinting. Her eyes were filled with hunger, her stance was powerful.

“Or,” you hoped this was her last suggestion, “we could kiss and makeup right here?” she brushed a strand behind your ear.

You backed away, “What?”

“Oh, c’mon, you don’t think the jealousy was a cover up for the crush you have on me? Even subconsciously?” she smirked.

“I do not have a crush on you,” you lied.

“So if I did this,” she cupped your cheek, “You don’t feel anything?”

Your face got hot and heart beat faster than it ever has before, “Nope,” you lie again.

“Well,” she dropped her hand, “That’s a shame. We could’ve been WWE’s It couple,” she sighed.

“D-Do you have a crush on me?” you asked surprised at your realization.

“No, I just wanted to mess with you,” running her hands through her beautiful jet black hair, you watched as her arms muscles tensed and released with every movement, “yes I have a crush on you, idiot.”

You shook yourself from your gaze, “Are you serious?”

“I don’t care if people hate me,” she scoffed, “but I do care if I hurt somebody, so that part was true. I didn’t want you to hate me because I don’t hate you.”

“I’m so confused right now,” you rub your eyes, “what do you mean you have a crush on me?”

“I. Like. You,” she took a step closer to you with every word. “It’s not hard to understand.”

“But I’ve been so mean to you.”

“I like a mean girl every once in a while,” she smirked. She was now standing in front of you looking down into your eyes. You weren’t much shorter than her but enough to where it made your knees weak.

You couldn’t say anything, you were in shock.

She lifted your chin again to make full eye contact with you, “Now, can I kiss you or no?”

You slowly nodded your head.

“You sure?”

You nodded your head more seriously this time.

She cupped your face with both hands and brought her lips to yours. Fireworks went off in your head, you couldn’t believe this was happening. Your lips danced against hers perfectly as your hands brought her waist into yours. Your heads tilting in sync, from one side to the other, you didn’t want to let go.

Sadly, she let go, “so,” she breathed, “my room or yours?”

#rhea ripley #wwe #rhea ripley x reader #hate to love

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honey-on-your-tongue · 1 year

Text

Discipline

Series Masterlist

Part one

Summary: Jake is sent to teach you discipline within the rules of the Omaticaya, from which you are constantly rebelling. Except...he finds unorthodox methods that get you to behave.

Warnings: smut, smut, smut. Jake being a hard, hard dom. Degradation. Dub con, I think. Uh. Spanking. Jake treats you like a whore, ngl. If I miss anything, please lmk.

Jake Sully had made one hell of an effort to fit in. He'd bended over backwards just to become part of the Omaticaya clan. He'd become Toruk Macto and fought the Sky People and everyone had come to love and admire him. He'd been through hell and back, and then he'd been transferred to his Na'vi body, and still, he was doing his utmost effort to fit in.

And it pissed him off because you—You pissed him off.

You were a native, already part of the clan, and yet, you didn't care. You hated following rules, you were always pissed at your parents, at traditions, at fitting in. And the crazy thing was, they let you. Everyone around you just knew it. They weren't happy about you, or your defiance, but they just accepted it. Sometimes, he saw, they excluded you, but you didn't seem to mind. You seemed almost glad that they left you to your own.

And that angered him. He'd done so much to fit in, and so much was still expected of him, it wasn't fair that you were just left to do as you pleased.

It was an incessant little thorn of rage within him that refused to dissipate. He tried to push it away, but the more he did, the more he found himself really angered towards you.

That's why he was so surprised—and, honestly, a little pleased—when you finally seemed to get on Mo'at's nerves and she decided you could no longer go along without discipline. She said you were to start small, with everything you'd refused to learn and do since you were a teenager, which is when your rebellion had begun.

And, just his luck, Mo'at asked Jake to help.

“She would do well to learn from someone like you,” she'd told him. “Disciplined and determined and strong.”

And now, here he was. Teaching you to use a bow, teaching you how to stand and to straighten your arms, correcting your posture and poking your stomach in so you'd strengthen the muscles there.

You were annoyed. He could see your eyes, bright with anger, your ears flattened back, and every time his hands met your skin, you'd bare your teeth silently at him.

“You're not listening,” he accuses, pushing your elbow higher, correcting your shoulder's stance. “Stand straight, arms straight, shoulders squared. Otherwise, your aim and the force of your arrow will be wrong.”

He pushes against your stomach again as he tells you, “Your strength must come from the muscles here.”

You hiss at him again, baring your teeth. “Touch me one more time, I'll bite you,” you snarl.

He is unfazed. “Back straight. Eyes forward. Aim carefully—”

You let go of the arrow. It flies in a perfect, straight line, full of strength, and lands on the tree, right where Jake had drawn a target. Your arrow lands in the center, piercing right through the white circle. A perfect shot.

You glance over at him, raising an eyebrow as if challenging him to tell you that you can't work a bow and an arrow.

The thing is, you did learn. In your spare time, on your own, and you'd gotten pretty good at it. You just weren't eager to fall in with the other Na'vi. Mostly because you'd grown up, trying to impress everyone around you, and eager to please everyone, and one day, you grew tired of it. Why should you live your life for other people?

Jake glares at you, amber eyes boring into your face. “I didn't instruct you to shoot,” he points out.

“I still hit the target,” you deadpan. “As you can see, I don't need you to teach me shit. I can handle myself.”

He raises an eyebrow. “You will not do that again,” he orders. “You will go fetch your arrow and then you will follow my instructions.”

You roll your eyes and drop the stance, irritated. “Here's your bow,” you tell him, holding the weapon out to him.

His yellow eyes fall down to the bow but he makes no move to grab it.

You push it against his chest but he still doesn't take it, so you let it fall to the ground.

His gaze follows the weapon to the floor before he glances back at you. “Pick it up.”

“No,” you respond. “All you've done is feel me up, tell me what I don't do right, and pretend to give me orders. Frankly, I just don't want to keep it up. So, thanks for wasting my time,” you spit sarcastically, “but I won't be doing it again.”

You turn away from him, ready to climb up your favorite tree and be free from everyone around you, but he grabs you by the wrist and harshly pulls you back to face him.

“Pick the bow up and go fetch your arrow,” he insists, his voice a growl. His grip around your wrist is tight, enough to hurt a little.

“Let go of me,” you demand, snarling, your sharp canines bared.

“I don't want to be here, and yet I am,” he spits. “I'm here because of you; the least you could do is be fucking respectful.”

“Respectful?” you scoff. “You think spending an hour trying to teach me something I already know how to do is respectful? Being condescending and patronizing and pretending you're better than me just because you ache to kiss everyone's ass—that's what you think is respectful?” You snarl at him. “It's fucking ridiculous. You're asking for something from me that you haven't deserved. So, no. I will not be respectful until I deem you worthy of my respect.”

He tugs you closer, your wrist aching beneath his grip. “What? You think I want this? You think I'm here because I enjoy it?” He sneers. “Trust me, girl, I would rather be anywhere but here. You're a pain in the ass.”

“If you don't wanna be here, then, why are you here?” you demand.

He frowns at you. “I'm here because you behave like a spoiled little brat. A bitch who aches to get in trouble and needs to be put in her place.”

You wrench your wrist out of his hand. Baring your teeth and folding your ears backward, you snarl, “You pretend to put me in my place, halfling?”

Something flashes in his eyes, something wicked and enraged and...hot. It boils within his amber gaze, sending a shudder through you. He growls at you, canines showing and somewhere within you, the most primitive, instinctive part of you is delighted with his rage, attracted and even eager to see how far you can push him.

Jake has had enough. He is sick and tired of your attitude. He is annoyed at you, pissed at the way you look at him, unfazed, the way you constantly bare your teeth and hiss, the way your ears fold backwards. And he hates the way you smell. Your scent is thick, sweet, intoxicating, and it only furthers to infuriate him.

But then, when he growls at you, your stance changes. Your eyes shine bright, even through their narrowed hatred. Your ears fold backward against your head, but not in annoyance...in submission. And your scent...it grows stronger, and it makes his chest tighten with sudden animalistic lust.

“Do you need me to put you in your place, girl?” he questions, but his voice grows husky, rough.

You shudder visibly, eyes fluttering a little closed.

Jake's other hand moves up to your neck and he holds you tight, your air coming into your lungs with some effort. “You do, huh,” he hums, grinning cockily, teeth showing.

“I don't,” you respond, but it comes out as a purr. Embarrassed, you close your eyes and attempt to turn your face away from him, but his hand around your neck holds you in place.

“Where should I start, girl?” he asks lowly, leaning in, his breath fanning across your face.

“Let me go,” you snap, but your voice is weak and shaky, clearly hungry—hungry for him.

He chuckles and tsks. “If you won't tell me, I'll have to figure it out on my own.”

His hand releases your wrist and travels to cup your face. He grabs your cheek and drags his thumb down your lips, eyes catching on your plump lip as he caresses it. He inhales a sharp breath as he snakes his thumb into your mouth, pressing his digit down against your tongue.

You groan in protest, but your resolve falters and you end up humming softly, in a wordless plead for more.

He pulls his finger out of your mouth and trails it down your chest, under your beaded necklace and around a breast. He massages your tit, eyes locked on yours, as you pant softly. He pinches your nipple between his forefinger and his middle finger, making you whine softly, back arching and forcing your chest further into his touch.

“It seems this is the only way to put you in your place, huh, girl?” he hums, inching his face down to your chest. “By treating you like the dirty little slut you are.”

You mewl softly, pussy clenching around nothing, folds dripping.

“Yeah, that's right,” Jake continues, voice dangerously low. His mouth reaches your chest, his tongue maneuvering around your beaded necklace and suckling on your nipple. “You're a little whore, aren't you? Just acting up because you want some cock. Isn't that right, girl?” he says against your nipple, tongue spelling the words across your sensitive breast. You sigh gently even though there's still a sliver of you that wants to punch him away for being so good with his tongue.

He moves his head to your other breast, licking your other nipple as one of his hands trails down your torso, past your lower stomach, to your thigh and under your loincloth. Hi middle finger is rough and calloused as it trails between your folds, tracing all the way up from your entrance to your clit. You groan softly and he rubs circles against the nerve-packed bud, making your hips buck against his touch.

He removes his mouth from your tit and licks his way up to your neck. As he places wet, open-mouthed kisses against your throat, his thick finger slithers down to your slit. He pushes it inside you with ease, your spongy insides tight around his digit.

You gasp gently as he snakes his ring finger into you as well, curling both fingers against a spot inside you that makes your back arch.

He chuckles quietly, almost sadistically. “There it is.”

He continues to fondle you, movements rough but measured, carefully angled to make you jerk with each curl of his digits. His mouth reaches your jaw, nipping at your skin, and your body is trembling with frustration.

You moan gently, making him growl in response. “You're gonna say my name, girl,” he promises. “You're gonna beg me to fuck you, beg me to make you come, beg me to fill you up with my come.”

You writhe in place, barely held up by your weakening legs, but you shake your head. “I don't beg,” you gasp out, eyes shut tight from the pressure building within you.

“Still being a brat, I see,” Jake says. “It seems you still need to be disciplined, girl.”

He pulls his fingers out of you, grabbing you by the wrist and dragging you over to a large rock that rests by a stream. He sits on the rock and pulls you to him, draping you across his lap.

You struggle to push yourself up and get out of his grasp, but he presses a hand against the small of your back, holding you in place. You can feel his cock, hard as a rock, press against your stomach.

His other hand caresses your inner thigh, teasing its way up to your ass.

“First lesson for you: you don't say no to me,” he says, spanking your ass, making the pain whip through you with such force, the breath is knocked from your lungs. “Count them.”

You shake your head again, and he spanks you once more. “I wasn't asking, girl. You will count them, just like you will beg for my cock.” He spanks you harshly, and a soft gasp leaves your parted lips. “You know how to count, yes?”

You nod feebly.

“Then count.” He spanks you once more and you tremble in his grasp, skin slick with sweat from the pain and the pleasure.

“Four,” you say, voice shaky.

He spanks you, a little softer this time.

“Five,” you announce.

“That's good. Atta girl.” His hand falls to the skin of your ass, the sound reverberating against the foliage around you.

“Six.”

Another spank, another little whimper from you as you manage, “Seven.”

“That's right. If you keep being a good little slut, I just might eat your wet little cunt,” he offers, and something within you purrs, eager to have his smart little mouth between your thighs.

He spanks, you count. You're not sure how long it goes on for, but you do know that you eventually start mixing numbers, saying the first one that comes to mind, not really keeping track. Tears are streaming down your face, lips open, breathing heavy, your own spit coating your chin.

With one final spank that you barely feel from how numb your ass has become, Jake says, “Have I made myself clear, girl?”

You nod, eagerly. “Yes, sir. I-I won't say no to you.”

He chuckles, the sound making your already-soaked cunt drip even more. “You're gonna behave now, aren't you, baby?”

You nod again. “Yes, sir.”

He lifts you up wordlessly, placing you on the rock and spreading your legs as he kneels between them. He hastily pushes your loincloth away, eyes falling to your sodden pussy.

His pupils dilate at the sight and he glances up at you through his eyelashes. Returning his eyes to your sex, he uses two fingers to push your folds apart and he admires the sight before him.

He hadn't been aware of how bad he wanted you until now. Until he had you too close to not touch, too close to not want, too close to not smell your scent and have it take over his mind.

If he's going to teach you something, he decides, it might as well be with his cock deep inside you.

He leans his face to your pussy and sticks his tongue out, flattening it against your clit before flicking it up and down, side to side, and then snaking it down to your entrance, drinking in your arousal.

You whine lowly, legs spreading wider, back arching, as you lean back on your elbows. Jake's hands come to your thighs to hold them apart as he slides his tongue into you. He can taste you, he can taste how bad you need him. And it excites him even more.

His cock prods against his loincloth, precum dribbling out the tip, staining the thin fabric. Fuck, he needs you to touch him, to suck him off, to let him into your tight, warm pussy.

But he hangs on. He watches you, watches your reactions as his tongue drags across your cunt, as he sucks your clit, as he licks your folds, as he kisses your thighs.

The slurping of Jake's tongue on your pussy is all you can hear. Well, that and your ridiculous moans. Your back arches, your legs shake. Your fingers dig into the rock beneath you, and you can feel your orgasm pricking at your skin, warning you of its nearing arrival.

“Jake,” you gasp, throwing your head back as your eyes flutter. “Jake, I can't—”

“Come on, little slut,” he says, mouth full of you, chin slick with your arousal. “Don't tell me it's too much. You're so wet for me, so needy. There's no way you don't want me to make you come on my tongue and then on my cock.”

“I do,” you gasp, hips rocking against his face. “I do, but—”

He bites you. Sinks his teeth against your clit, nibbling on it, his sharp canine dragging against your sensitive bud in the perfect combination of pain and pleasure.

You cry, “Fuck!”

“No but's, girl,” he says against you. “If you're going to misbehave, you're going to have to deal with the consequences. So deal with them, you brat.”

The way he calls you a brat makes you even wetter. Your body is shaking, your breath leaving your lungs, your thighs trying to clench together, but he holds them wide open.

“Fuck,” you gasp again as he slides a finger into you, leaving his tongue to flick against your clit. You're dizzy with pleasure, body contorted with the buzz of your approaching orgasm.

“You should be thankful, too,” he adds, nibbling at your folds. “I could leave you here now, all wound up and dripping, without offering you the release you're crying for.”

“No!” you gasp, hips bucking up against his face. “No, please, please let me come.”

“I will,” he tells you. “Once you thank me for the favor I'm doing you.”

Through the searing pleasure, you purse your lips, adamant against giving in. Your eyes blink down at him and he can see the defiance in your gaze.

He raises an eyebrow. “No?” he questions, slowing the movement of his fingers.

Normally, you'd be too proud to give him what he wanted. But this was more for your benefit; you needed this, and you weren't too proud to go after what you wanted.

“Thank you,” you tell him between groans.

“For what, girl?” He orders, “Say it.”

“For...for disciplining me and making me come,” you respond between whines. “Thank you, sir.”

He chuckles darkly, lowly. It makes you shudder against him, your body quivering, your lungs inhaling sharply at the increasing ecstasy within you.

His fingers pick up the pace again, curling against that spot within that makes your toes curl, your eyes flutter.

“Thank you,” you repeat, over and over, a soft chant, the only words left in your mind as he eats you out. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

The pleasure is unbearable, blinding, so intense it makes your ears ring and your body start to tremble.

Jake can feel how close you are. He can tell by the way you hold your breath, by the way you squeeze around his fingers, by the way your body writhes.

And then you come, hips rocking against his mouth, arousal dripping out of you, his name escaping your lips.

“Jake,” you gasp. “Jake.”

The sound makes his ears perk up, his cock twitching in anxious eagerness. He keeps licking at you, pulling his fingers out of you and pushing your thighs further apart only to lick his way into your entrance, savoring your orgasm.

You whine and jerk away from him, overstimulated, but to no avail; he holds you tight, nails digging into your thighs as he cleans you with his mouth.

When he's done, Jake glances up at you, lips swollen, chin slick with your arousal, and he grins that stupid, cocky grin.

You're still gasping, breathing heavily when he stands and pulls you to your feet. He turns you around and pushes your chest down against the rock you were lying on moments ago.

He kicks your foot, spreading you out for him, as he tangles a hand in your hair and forces your cheek against the hard rock.

Without a warning, Jake's cock slides over your pussy, pushing your folds aside, and then slides into you with ease.

He groans as he bottoms out, bruising your cervix, making you grimace and jerk your hips away from him in equal parts pain and pleasure.

“Where do you think you're goin'?” he scoffs, grabbing your hip with his large hand, pulling you back to him as he tugs on your hair.

“'s too much,” you groan, cunt clenching around his long cock.

He throbs inside of you almost painfully, twitching and ready to fuck you hard.

“I don't care,” Jake seethes in your ear. “You got to come, why shouldn't I? Now, listen to me, girl, I am going to use you, understood? As long as I want to, as long as I need to.” He leans down to your ear and says, “You're going to be my good little whore, otherwise you'll have consequences. You don't want that, do you?”

You shake your head, muttering, “No.”

“No, what?”

“No, sir,” you respond, shaking.

“That's a good slut,” he says as he begins thrusting in and out of you, his hips crashing against yours.

You whine, back arched, head being tugged back by Jake's harsh hold on your hair, tears of both pain and pleasure welling in your eyes and spilling down your face.

Soon, you're sobbing, body quaking, pussy raw and swollen, as you beg, “Jake, please, please...”

“Take it,” Jake orders, groaning as his cock pounds you. “Take it like the brat you are. Don't think cryin' will get you any pity from me, girl. I'll use your cunt as much as I want to, and you won't do a goddamn thing to stop it.”

You're shaking, crying, your own spit coating your chin as you withstand Jake's wonderful, bruising pace. You can feel another orgasm growing within you, ready to burst, ready to prove how much you fucking love what he's doing to you.

Jake can tell.

He can feel the way you grow tighter around him, the way your legs shake and your breaths falter and the way your moans turn into mewls.

He chuckles between groans. “Fuckin' slut,” he says. “You beg me to stop, but come when I don't. Say it, girl,” he tells you, voice low and thick, “say how much you like me using you, how much you enjoy the way I turn you into my cumslut. My little toy.”

You moan unintelligibly, unable to formulate thoughts, let alone words.

He laughs, “Yeah, you just needed some cock, isn't that right? That's why you were acting up. You just needed a good dickin' down.”

You writhe under him, crying and torn between begging for him to stop and for him to give you more.

His relentless pace keeps up even as your orgasm washes over you, rattling your body, making the edges of your vision grow black.

He continues fucking you, his hips slamming into yours, your hip bruised from where he holds it, your scalp hurting as he pulls your hair.

And then, finally, just when you think you're going to faint from the pleasure, he comes, hot spurts of his seed filling your insides.

He comes and comes and comes, the liquid oozing out of you, dripping down your thighs as he finally pulls his cock out of you.

You're panting, boneless as you try to stand on wobbly legs.

Jake gives you a quick look, studying you up and down, before saying, “Tomorrow, same place, same time. Don't be late, girl.”

And he walks away.

#avatar jake sully #avatar #avatar fanfiction #fanfic #jake sully #jake sully x reader #reader insert #avatar smut #jake sully smut

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sweetmage · 6 months

Note

If you have a moment would you mind going thru how Wyll's character changed from early access to the current game? What was the feedback on him in early access/what caused the changes? I'm curious about it, I paid no attention to this game at all until I bought it a month or so ago on a whim, so I don't know much about the early access happenings.

Hi! Thanks for the question, I'd be happy to answer!

I actually still have my early access version of the game so I have been going through and recording scenes to upload to a playlist for people's comparisons. This is on hold for the moment because I've been very sick the past week or so, but when I return to it and begin uploads I can tag you if you'd like!

As for a brief summary of the differences. Wyll had quite a different origin story that was heavily tied to the goblins.

*Note: lease excuse me if I misremember something or if I leave out another big difference, it's been a bit! If anyone has a correction/addition I'll update this post.

The entire blighted village was a pretty big story location for him (killing goblins was kind of his thing) and it was the Goblin torturer Spike that took his eye.

He was also taking a more proactive role in tracking down Mizora, going to such lengths as even torturing a man (on Spike's orders) in exchange for information on her whereabouts.

Early Access Wyll seemed to have more of an internal struggle about his role as a hero. While he was still very charming, kind hearted, and an amazing friend he clearly possessed a darker side such as his burning rage for goblins, occasional arrogance, and the aforementioned torture scene.

He also used to have a romance scene at the tiefling party in which Mizora interrupts which seems to really distress him. From that + some datamined voice clips, it would seem that Mizora was a slightly more sinister figure prior to the rewrite.

As for the complaints, if you can believe it, they were basically the same. He's boring, he's useless, he's annoying, etc. I also used to see people singling him out as being untrustworthy and implying his kindness was wholly a facade (which I did not and do not agree with when it comes to Early Access Wyll).

In the full release he was made more objectively and clearly good, his story was more front loaded with big events to make him "more interesting", and a lot of the details of his story were changed. Yet still the exact same complaints exist.

Personally I like both Wylls. I think there is something interesting in both! I just don't think he should have been changed to appease people who clearly would complain about him no matter what, especially when it comes at the heavy price of him having a lot less content than anyone else.

Most of the things referenced can be found in this playlist I put together of other people's existing EA Wyll videos though its wholly incomplete + there are rarely variants of the scenes since he was unfortunately never documented well (why I want to go back and do it myself).

#sorry for any typos i am not feeling well atm so my brain is foggy. hopefully this made sense!#bg3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3 #wyll ravengard

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lllivia · 1 year

Text

I adore you Enid Sinclair.

Enid Sinclair x fem!reader

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°★.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

You were on your way to study in Enid's dorm one Saturday morning a little bit too early out, because you hated the possibility of being late anywhere.

You were about to knock on her door before you heard your name being mentioned from inside.

"Of course she doesn't like me Wednesday! I mean, have you seen her?? Y/N is like the prettiest girl in school she could quite literally pick anyone she wanted! Also I'm pretty sure she sees me as just a friend, I've been giving her signals all of term, like when I've shared my favorite bubblegum with her and took my time brushing my hand against hers, or when I've held her hand and snuggled up to her while watching a horror movie, or like when she said my favorite teddy that I've had since I was five years old was cute so I gave it to her for her birthday! What more can I possibly do?" You heard Enid's muffled voice coming from the room, she sounded frustrated.

"This is sickening to look at Enid, your fawning and giggling at everything she does is making me nauseous and not in a good way. Just tell her that you have feelings for her and get over it" Wednesday said in her monotone voice, tho she sounded the slightest bit annoyed. You leaned in closer to the door and heard some tapping. "Even Thing agrees that you have to act on your feelings" you heard Enid groan frustrated and heard her most likely fall back onto her bed.

You were honestly really shocked, you had liked her since your first year at Nevermore Academy but never had the courage to say anything. How could someone not like her and her bubbly and sociable personality. She was the prettiest girl you had ever laid eyes on, her multicolored hair, her painted nails, her smile, the cherry vanilla chapstick you always wandered what tasted like on her lips, and her blue eyes that never failed to make your bad mood change.

So, you decided to finally knock on the door seeing that it was actually time for you to study now. You heard some shuffling before Enid yelled "Come in!"

As soon as you went in Wednesday walked passed you out the door, with Thing sitting on her shoulder. Enid squealed and ran up to give you a hug "Hi Y/N! I missed you so much" "we facetimed for five hours last night Enid" you chuckled loving how warm her arms were around you. "Still! So the project, what should we present about" she said smiling brightly at you. "I'm not sure yet, actually I was thinking maybe you could paint my nails first?" You said wanting to spend as much time with her as possible before sitting down on the edge of her colorful plushy filled bed on her side of the room. "Of course, what colors do you want" she said pulling out all her nail polish from under her desk and putting her desk chair so she was facing you, blushing slightly as she found you already staring at her with a soft smile. "Hmmm OOO we should match!" You answered moving closer so she had better access to your hands. About five minutes in painting your nails where you both just sat in comfortable silence, which was pretty unusual for Enid, seeing that she always had someone to gossip about, you decided to speak up. "I heard what you were talking about to Wednesday earlier" You said blushing. Enid looked up from painting you pinky looking absolutely horrified. "WHAT, how much did you hear? Oh I'm so so sorry I totally understand if you don't want to friends anymore, or even speak to me, I shouldn't have caught feelings for you, you probably don't even like girls, I just couldn't help myself- " Enid's distraught rant came to an end when she saw how close you had moved. You layed your hand on the back of her neck and looked down at her lips and then up at her eyes again and all Enid could do was nod slightly, her whole face a bright pink color, and she looked like she was going to explode of happiness. You leaned in, and finally your lips touched in a passionate and loving kiss. After a few seconds you pulled away slightly out of breath and leaned your forehead against hers. Enid still smiling like she couldn't believe what just happened.

"I adore you Enid Sinclair."

💗 Masterlist 💗

This might be a little bit corny but 💀🤷‍♀

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ftm-radio · 7 days

Text

My gender is 4 years old

...and four days, as of April 15th. This post is a bit late. 😅

Four years ago, all the confusing little puzzle pieces I'd been collecting came together in a genuine eureka! moment and I realized I was transgender. It was exhilarating and terrifying and it undeniably changed my life for the better.

The last few years have felt pretty damn slow and I've had to scramble over a few frustrating obstacles (never changing my name AGAIN, lmao, that was annoying as fuck) but it's all been worth it and now it feels like I'm really making headway.

I started testosterone this past year! I did that! I'm almost 7 months on T now! Currently on a dose of two pumps of gel, which I have only missed applying once in all that time because I was literally sick. The changes are gradual but they are real and they have already brought me so much joy and made me so much happier in my humble flesh prison. 💗

The most anticipated change for me (and for a lot of transmasc folks, I imagine) is my voice, and BOY (heh) am I happy to share this data comparison with you:

[ LEFT: A screenshot from the Voice Pitch Analyzer app, dated November 3rd, 2021. It shows that OP's voice registers fully within the female voice range. RIGHT: Another screenshot from the app, dated April 12th, 2024. This one shows that OP's voice registers mostly between the Androgynous and Male voice ranges. ]

My voice is so different now. It sounds different, it feels different, and in just the last week or so I swear it has gotten a little rougher and raspier and I am LIVING. I could not be happier!!!

...okay, fine, I could be happier lmao.

I'm adjusting to my deeper voice and still learning how to use it in a way I like & that feels best to me, so I'm starting to do some casual at-home voice training again after basically forgetting about the concept completely since 2021. (Whoops.) But I am already so much happier and more content with my voice than I have ever been in my life, so it's only getting better from here, lads. <3

I've also had to go to a lot of appointments and answer a ton of phone calls about said appts recently because I kinda fucked up my eyeball (it's better now, don't worry! and be gentle to your eyes, they are delicate and eye drops are so fucking annoying when you're doing them seven times a day, jfc) and my voice has reached a point where I was a lot more comfortable interacting with strangers and I also didn't notice any surprise or confusion when I introduced myself with a male name! It was kind of amazing.

Also singing is even more fun now. I love love LOVE singing along with a male vocalist and feeling the way my voice kinda rumbles through my chest. 10/10 sensory experience.

Other changes aren't nearly as exciting or obvious as my voice, but here's a quick (?) rundown, for those who are curious:

Mood — Gotta be honest, I don't think I've really noticed any significant change in my day-to-day mood, though I may not be the best judge for this because I have trouble figuring out what/how I'm feeling in general, tbh. But I think I have certainly gotten more comfortable and content with myself and I'd even go so far as to say I feel a little more confident these days. It's nice, I appreciate it.

Acne — I definitely noticed a change in how my acne presents itself on my face. I wouldn't say it's worse than before (I've had very bad acne since I was a young teenager and only got medication for it like, last year which has helped immensely) but I think it's different. More little red spots and roughness than the unpleasant and painful pimples I'm used to. I don't even mind it, really. Oddly affirming.

Facial Hair — I've got facial hair. I really do!!! Not clickbait!!! It's not much, not enough for me to be brave and take my dad up on his offer of shaving lessons quite yet, but it has grown in enough that I don't feel silly including it in self portraits! 🤭🧔🏻 Got a little bit of a mustache happening, a little bit at the sides of my face, some fuzz on my chin (with one LONG hair that I can only assume has been greedy and stealing his brothers' growth), and a frankly surprising lil patch of hair under my jaw. On a semi-related note, not sure if my brows have gotten much darker/thicker. They might have? idk.

my new discord icon, hehe... 👁💜🪓

Body Hair — I have gotten a little more hair on my forearms, and it may have gotten a little darker too! I have a tattoo on my arm just below my left wrist and it's been surprisingly helpful for measuring arm hair growth because for years my tattoo was not covered by hair at all but the left side of it's a little fuzzy now... 😏 I've gotten more noticeable hair growth on my upper arms, which were basically hairless before (free gender euphoria every time I put on my T) and on my thighs. Don't think my lower legs have gotten much hairier, and I'm a little impatient about it lmao. I want to get hairy enough to rival my brother.

Energy/Appetite — Can't say I've really noticed any differences here? I am not a very active person and I already struggled with appetite and getting myself to eat before I started T (thank you adhd & poor eating habits 🥲💀), so I can't quite tell if I'm ignoring more hunger signals than usual. 😅 I am hoping to get more active and start doing more physical activity now that it's starting to get warmer outside again, so hopefully that will help me see these sorts of changes and also get me into some better eating habits as I expend more energy and work up a proper appetite! (Also, since we're on the topic... a reminder for all of us that taking care of yourself and feeding the body you live in is a million times more important than aesthetics and numbers on a scale. ❤)

Menstruation — I am still getting my period right on schedule, but I am happy to say it is considerably lighter than it was before I started testosterone! My period has begun getting shorter, too. It lasted for roughly 7–9 days before, but I was bleeding for exactly 7 days last month, and only 6 days this month. I'm not sure if this trend will continue at such a dramatic rate, but if my next round is only 5 days I will be very excited about it, lol. My uterus can retire any day now, please...

Bottom Growth — if any of my friends read this part, don't speak to me about it lmao — Yeah... there's a little bit of something happening down there. Not a lot, and I haven't really noticed any pain or sensitivity, but there's a Difference. Aaaaand I like it. 😌 I am looking forward to any and all future developments. 😏👉🏻👉🏻

Okay! I think that's it, really.

I know I haven't been super active on this blog for quite a while now (I have really gotten into fandom blogging on my main lmao, and also discord is my favorite thing right now, it's where 90% of my friends live) so I hope this nice, long, ramble-y post makes up for that a little bit. <3

Not gonna make any promises that I'll post here more often, but y'know. I might. It could happen. Definitely not leaving this blog to sit and gather dust, that's for sure. I'll still be reblogging stuff semi-frequently, even if I'm not writing up my own posts.

So goodbye for now, and thanks for tuning in! 👋🏻📻💖💙✨️

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