#wow i need to sleep

[py6oto]

DAY 5 - OUTSIDE

almost missed today too. i really need to stop leaving these for 11 pm

2023.10.05

#bugs when you lift up a rock #hlvrai #hlvrai fanart #hlvrai coomer #aitober #aitober day five #not tagging gordon bc .... yea #it also technically is not him ! soooo #me watching as my friend opens their mouth to say the most atrocious words that would get them years of jailtime had we been in public #sorry these eyes are really funny to me in a way. stop looking at me like that sir please........ #eye contact #Direct Eye Contact #Directly. Looking #WOW i need to sleep #goodnight tag world !! #today i learned idk how to draw the moon

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

rough day...

#i might come back and color this. Eventually.... #scribbled this after a busy day of lots of moving things into storage and hauling boxes around #i felt a bit like a workhorse! #at some point i sat down on the uhaul w/ my water and thought. Wow. How Does Eddie Manage #poor guy deserves a break... #he needs a day off smh #i mean the neighborhood would fall apart w/o him probably but still. he needs a vacation! #he works too hard! someone tell him to prioritize himself for once! #scribble garnish #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home fanart #eddie dear #alrighty well its 12 am i need to get up in less than 6 hours and i still have Several Things To Do before i can sleep! #so! queuing this and getting those last chores done #wait fuck. what where they #well! i'll remember when i get up to do them! probably! #yknow 7 hours into tomorrow's drive im gonna be like OH FUCK I FORGOT THE [insert task here] #oh. shit did i eat dinner? hm... im not gonna be ready for breakfast when i wake up #so i might as well add 'quick cup of noodles' onto tonight's Before-Sleep list.... #im rambling! sorry! #anyway i have Much affection for eddie! somebody get him a spa day and some shiny new stamps!!!

[fatuismooches]

At the beginning of your relationship with Dottore, there had been numerous times when he had tried to leave you, or rather, attempt to force you to leave him in the Akademiya. Ignoring you, snapping at you... most notably literally kicking you out of the dorm (to waking up and nearly stepping on you, as you had decided to knock out right at the door.) Merely because he still had difficulty believing he was loved by you, despite having known you for years. It took much time but, eventually, your feelings finally clicked in that genius head of his.

However, uncharacteristically enough, there was one time you debated on whether you should leave Zandik. Only one time. And he had found out. If only you had been more careful.

It happened during the later stage of your illness when your ability to do many basic tasks had been stripped from you, leaving you reliant on Zandik for many things. You felt very guilty, for making him so do much work for both himself and you, but there wasn't much you could do about it, being the way you were now. Did you tell your lover about this? No, of course not.

But today, today would just be another regular day of what you had accepted to be your new life. However, you had noticed in the morning he seemed rather irritated, but you had no chance to ask him about it since he had to leave for class. You wondered what that was all about. (You, somewhere in the depths of your mind thought. You were continuously being a burden on the knowledge-driven scholar, no wonder he'd be irritated.)

When he returned to the dorm, you could tell that the foul mood still remained. Though, you could not understand what had caused it. He was perfectly fine last night, something must have happened after you fell asleep... As you watched him, the words "welcome home" could not seem to come out as they usually did, especially when he had not even acknowledged you yet, only emptying his bag with all of his books and other tools. You swallowed nervously, wondering how you were going to go about this when he spoke.

"Where?"

"Huh?"

"Where do you plan to go?" You were understandably confused by this seemingly random question.

"Um... nowhere?" A nervous smile made its way to your face, as Zandik only gave you a blank look, before carefully unfolding a piece of paper, and reading it over once more, no emotion on his face. Which, was already quite alarming for you, because Zandik was the kind of person who always had a hint of annoyance written on his face. He then turned the paper to face you and you squinted, reading the contents.

Oh. You instantly recognized what it was. It was a form that one had to fill out if they wanted to move out of the Akademiya's dorms.

When you said you felt guilty for everything, you meant it. Meant it to the point you worried if you were still good enough for him, if you had become annoying, a bumbling nuisance that had become more of a chore rather than a partner. It worried you, and you couldn't help but think about it. What if you were right? What if he did feel all of those things? Then maybe, maybe you should relieve him of this burden. You. Then, he could continue to pursue his goals, without the added hindrance of taking care of you.

It wasn't something you were set on yet, more like something you mulled over in your head. But you had filled out the potential moving out form tentatively just in case you decided to go through with it. Ah, you probably had shoved it in your bag along with your many missing assignments, and Zandik must have found it after trying to check your homework... But now, your lover was staring holes into you, expecting an answer.

"Well, I- I didn't mean it. It was... just in case," you were just spewing words at this point because you really had no defense. After all, how do you explain to your roommate of many years that you were going to move out and disappear without telling him?

"Just in case," the scholar repeats. "Just in case..." And then Zandik laughs. At what? You're not sure, because you've only seen him laugh at other people's foolishness, or in scorn and bitterness. It's a bit unsettling, seeing him act this way, but you have no time to think about it before the paper is torn right in half twice and then abandoned in the trash bin.

"No." Well... alright then.

"Za-"

"No, no no no. How utterly absurd. Ridiculous. You are not going anywhere." The way he says it simultaneously sounds like an order to you yet also an attempt to reassure himself of your impossible departure. You wondered if he interpreted your reason for leaving as something more... drastic.

"Hey-" You stand up, hoping an embrace would calm his nerves, but he begins to pace around. Now, this wouldn't be unusual, he tends to do this while he's ranting or deeply thinking about his research but obviously, it's different this time.

"Leave? No," Zandik scoffs to himself, "the possibility is nigh on impossible. There is no need to plan for such lengths, I shall make sure it doesn't come to that." When he finished mumbling to himself, you tried to interject before his gaze snapped back to you.

"And you. You, how dare you go behind my back and do such a thing? Do you think me incompetent? Do you think me a senseless fool that I would allow you to do this?"

"..."

"I find this quite tasteless, especially after how much you parroted about 'always being by my side' or 'never leaving'. Or have you finally shown your true colors? Leaving me after-" Zandik cut himself off because the words he was going to say next shouldn't be said out loud. Leaving him after he's already obsessed with you, when he's already in love with you and would go mad without your presence. But then all he could feel was your arms around him and your face buried in his chest.

"Zandik please, I'm sorry," your voice was but a whisper. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything like that." Zandik's hands itched to hold you back, but he restrained himself, needing to hear your reasoning.

"I don't want to leave you, I really don't. I love you! So... that's why I filled that form out. Because I... am scared of burdening you too much. I know how you are. I know you want someone who is useful, w-who can be of assistance in all kinds of ways, not someone who is dead weight. So I... I don't want you to force yourself to- ow!" Your increasingly pitiful dialogue was interrupted by a flick to your forehead and the clicking of a tongue.

"Fool..." he moved his hand to rest on the top of your head. "You can be quite intelligent, but the reasons for your stupidity can be headache-inducing sometimes. Now that you've said all of that, has it clicked how idiotic it sounds?" Though your partner's words sounded harsh, his tone was noticeably softer. You could only cast your gaze downward as he sighed.

"I too wonder why you do not take your own advice. Were you not the one who said to... 'talk things out', before jumping to conclusions? So why have I not heard of this?" (The phrase feels out of place and rather disgusting on the man who normally refuses to hold a conversation on anything other than research, but he forces it out for your sake. Unfortunately, he can also hear your sing-song voice in his head as he replays the words.)

"Because... it's dumb, like you said. I shouldn't waste your time anymore..."

"I usually do not entertain dumb inquiries but... you are an exception. My assistant's questions must always be clarified." And as his lover, your troubles must always be assuaged, but that part was left unsaid, although you knew what he meant. "Yes, your usefulness was a great help, but I couldn't care less about that right now. I care about you, and if taking on extra responsibilities happens to fall under that feeling, then so be it. I don't care," Zandik said bluntly. Was it elegant? No. Was it truthful? Yes. It made your cheeks warm a bit.

"Well... thank you for the honor," you couldn't help but crack a tiny smile as Zandik only mumbled something incoherent before pushing you back to bed. Ah, you were feeling a little drained from all of that.

"Now that all that is sorted out, and that hopefully every inch of that nonsense has left you, I suggest you go to sleep quickly, unless you want to be kept awake by the sounds of my latest experiment." You only giggled at your boyfriend. He's unkind... in a kind way if that made sense. But before you could be whisked away to the land of dreams, Zandik spoke once more.

"[Name]."

"Mhm?"

"...Do not try to leave me ever again."

"...I know, Zandik."

#smooches talks #fragile reader <3 #dottore love notes <3 #divider by cafekitsune #another idea i came up with at 1 am (that seems to be the time my mind wont stop working unfortunately) #u dont understand im SO delusional abt them... sorry guys... f-fragile reader #im literally so tired rn ughhh... wah i just want dottore to cuddle me!! (i need to fix my sleep schedule) #but wow this is pretty indulgent huh! #dottore x reader #idk if i should put this in the tags but im feeling bold

[martyryo]

his biggest sin was having blue hair and pronouns.

#artists on tumblr #digital art #illustration #art #faith #faith the unholy trinity #john ward #father john ward #hiii heyyy #watching videos abt this game got me out of some very bad mental state like wow #he's narratorcoded #bro is played by edward norton idc #anyways loved the game sm and I tried replicating the plai color on black style while maintaining my type of rendering #also I figured out thst adding additional lineart after the shading makes things kinda more organic #like it's not all a messy mix of colors #so proud of having done this in around an hour #also dw I'll still post fight club but I need to draw some other stuff as well or I'll get tired of drawing the same three prople all over #stage is going really well #feeling workercore workerpilled workercoded #huhu going to sleep cause I'm sealing my casket with this late hour stunt #bye bye <3

[burymeinblack2022]

you know what really gets my goat... all the people on that sub got to experience at least 4.5 decades of life. they got to explore and travel, they went to college, they found love, built families, established careers and got their name out there, they got to make some sort of mark in the world....all of them except for the kid. this dude was only 4 years (maybe 3) younger than me. he was barely a legal adult, still a teenager. prob didn’t even know much life outside of school, prob was only now starting or hadn’t been to college yet, hadn’t had a chance to experience life as an adult yet.... and he wasn’t even really supposed to be on that sub. 

he *didn’t* want to go. he was TERRIFIED. he was the only person on that stupid tuna can death trap with any semblance of common sense. dude basically got dragged there by his rich ass dad  (literally the richest family in pakistan for crying out loud) bc yall know how it is with rich ppl (SPECIALLY the billionaires) : business over everything, live to work but don’t work to live, family is secondary, etc etc...dude probably didnt get to spend much time with his dad bc he most likely wasnt around most of the time and was all work work work but knew he (the dad) wanted to go, prob wanted him to go as well and tried persuading him to join. and even though something didn’t feel right to him, it was father’s day weekend and he must have felt like he owed it to his dad to go and took the risk bc he trusted his dad/wanted to make him happy even though his gut feeling said not to and he really didn’t want to do it. ik he ‘was an adult’ technically, but he was literally only 19 and parental approval gets people to do stupid shit they probably wouldnt otherwise do against their better judgement...  

they literally confirmed (his aunt) he only went to bond with his dad...and instead his dad basically dragged him to both their deaths....this is so fucked. irresponsible and selfish. everyone else knew damn well at their big ages that was stupid and it was only a matter of time before something seriously tragic happened. and this guy knew better than to drag his kid into this knowing he probably would do it just bc it was his dad and a grown ass adult that could probably be trusted bc he’s ‘wiser and more experienced in life and knows better than a 19 y.o’ ...and now they’re all dead. literally fuck off for this

#rip to that kid and that kid only. maybe the old expert too but he knew better the kid def didnt deserve this tho. fuck his dad for that #oceangate #the titanic #titanic #titanic sub #titanic submersible #titanic submarine #wow anna said something #anna's shitposts #i read abt this and now im fiery bc i suspected this but now im ughhhhh #*im just #anyway this situation has turned my brain into swiss cheese i need sleep for several days and get the men in black mindwipe

[ssstrawberryflowers]

the blood murderbot and their angel boyfriend in silly tshirts woaw

#ultrakill #v1 ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #gabv1el #suggestive #my art #fan art #what do you mean eight hours of sleep does not fend off sleep deprivation #also just realized i used to draw gabe's halo wrong whoops #well i guess he can get a laurel crown now #yeah V1's tshirt is based on the lesbian anti anita bryant tshirt this is on purpose i will abstain from commenting further #tho admittedly i need to learn more stuff about lgbt history #she her person who doesn't know what she is and who she likes takes comfort in gay machine and gay angel as coping mechanisms wow #im so sorry #shitpost #ssshitpost

[pivsketch]

back on my bullshit again-- i started this stardew villager sprite overhaul project like 8 years ago (2016!) and picked it back up recently. the great news (sarcasm) is that the game updates since then have given me twice as much work to do as everyone has cute little beach and winter outfits now? im going to endeavor to at least get shane done (#biased) but i did dream of getting to everyone. we'll see how far i get this time.

heres an elliott doing a silly dance because i saw the frames in his sheet and thought it was cute

#pixel art #stardew valley #publicly posting about this because i finished shane's regular sheet (wow!) so im making tangible progress #did you know the incapacitated 6 heart event shane sprite is in the sprite sheet for all of the UI. so is motorcycle sebastian. #and a dancing marnie? #get out of there you clowns #also shane sleeps with his shoes on. but in winter he sleeps barefoot. lmao? hashtag fun facts #i wanted to keep the heights but i might need to make the women slightly taller because they look goofy. w/e i'll cross that bridge later

[to-make-yourself-known]

this session.........

#double life smp #my art #i am EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED #i was okay until i watched grian's pov and now i'm laying flat on the ground sobbing gently #WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE DUDES SO DRAMATIC FOR #HRHDHFGEHFGR #this is super sketchy and quick cuz i gotta sleep but i needed to get this out #grian #double life spoilers #desert duo #ish? #trafficshipping #just in case #mcyt #grian fanart #dlsmp #trafficblr #wow #i'll need to make fanart for the ranchers too #gosh #and the end of grian's episode too??? #sighs

[thecanvascreature]

It’s 1:30 in the morning

Sooooo worth it for old men yaoi.

#madness combat #hank j. wimbleton #2bhank #2bdamned #mc hank #my art #madcom #mc 2bdamned #madness combat 2bdammed #my beloved #I need sleep #omg #HIIIIII #MwA #a thousand kisses for my fav couple #wow #I’m crazy

[super-nowa-art]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#one piece #fanart #comic #istg nami is fighting for her life trying not to have an aneurism #then she turns to law thinking he'll be the rational ally she needs #and he is.....also wearing a fake mustache #and the worst thing is??? IT WORKS #luffy is in the tournament like gum gum bitch and everyone still goes oh wow who is this mysterious person #i love these stupid fucks #also omg franky's braids.... slay king go off #it's like 2:30 am i did this in a rush and it looks like hot garbage but honestly idc anymore #we cried ourselves to sleep yesterday the standards are not high right now

[lollytea]

i bet hunter has blonde moments a lot. he is such a little ditz sometimes.

#AGSVDJBDK #i think he has a lot of ''ditz'' moments because hes got a lot of tabs open in his brain at the same time #whenever hes too busy overthinking the more convoluted stuff he somehow forgets small but crucial details #once he starts attending hexside he gets bullied by his own locker #it keeps trying to eat him #and hes like i wont let this stop me #so he makes a potion that puts his locker to sleep for the whole school day #gus: wow awesome plan. #hunter: [smug] yeah... #gus: but uh. you need your locker to be awake in order to get your books out. whats the plan there? #hunter: ....wait...shit....

[camels-pen]

the difference between zosopp and sanuso (romantic OR platonic) is that Usopp is Zoro's specialest little guy and Zoro is someone Usopp hangs out with and looks up to and hides behind when things get scary, but Sanji and Usopp are best friends. They horse around, they beat each other up, they confide their worst fears trying to one up each other. Usopp hides behind Sanji sometimes, sure, but idk, Sanji's weaknesses are more obvious (bugs, fighting women, etc) so there are times when Usopp has to stand in front of Sanji too, yknow?

Like, how do I say this, all the crewmates are equal- Usopp and Zoro are equals- but with Sanji it feels like more... comradery? Zoro's a rock in a terrible storm- even rocks tend to get weathered and chipped and worn down, but they overall stay strong and steady. He has trouble being vulnerable and there are times when the burden he's placed on himself to keep the crew safe is crushing his chest. Usopp would help with that and be very understanding, but the point I'm trying to get with that is that those moments are few and far between. So I feel like Usopp, especially after Water 7, would take Zoro's lead on something like that, and keep most of his worries to himself or only talk about them sparingly unless they're really bad and/or he can't hide them.

Sanji is like a tree in a storm; he can be strong, yes, but it feels like he bends and sways with the storm, and has more obvious breaking points. He can relate more to Usopp's struggles rather than resorting to blunt honesty that might border on callous like Zoro. And while, with Zosopp, I tend to think of scenarios with Zoro being blunt like that as a good thing- because sometimes when you're spiraling, it's nice to have someone say exactly what's great about you and shoot down all your worries with straight facts that you can't argue with- I can also see this as being a bad thing. Anxiety can really twist up your brain sometimes, you know? And despite the words, the tone could still mess someone up if they're already feeling like a burden on others in some way.

With Sanuso it's a lot more understanding and thoughtful words. It's distractions and comfort food and patience- the kind reserved for Usopp- until Usopp talks about whatever's troubling him. Compared to Zosopp, it doesn't take as long for Usopp to open up, since he's done the same thing to Sanji at times and it's more familiar to him to talk and commiserate with Sanji about his worries and doubts and such. However, there are times stuff like this has absolutely no effect and Sanji will end up at a loss, no idea what to do or how to help over the course of several days with Usopp being quiet and keeping his distance, and he'll end up working himself up about it which will only serve to make Usopp feel worse and. yeah. bit of a vicious cycle with them.

So it's like. Usopp can be weak with both of them, but since I see Sanji as the type of guy who'd be more open with his worries (at least compared to Zoro), there's less of a need to 'perform' and be his best self around him. He's comfortable around Zoro, yes, but he is constantly wanting to show that he won't be a problem to him. On the other hand, while he's more open with Sanji, and Sanji with him, they tend to relate a bit too much with each other and they both have issues with causing trouble for others and being 'deserving of love' so failed attempts at consoling one hurts the other and creates an unpleasant cycle of misery and avoidance before some other crewmate (Zoro) tells them to quit being stupid and just fucking talk to each other.

#one piece #sanuso #zosopp #long post #nemotime #does this make sense or is this the ramblings of a person who's only got 3 hrs sleep #bc thats me. 3 hrs sleep. ugh #listen okay its like. zosopp has their own growing pains to get through yknow? zoro will eventually get the whole #'oh usopp isnt as open with me bc he wants to seem tough and is also kind of doing the same thing i do. thats bad for him' #and it'll be a whole thing about making a promise between the two of them to try and be more honest with their fears and seeking help #when they need it #the sanuso thing is like. i hope i didnt mean to make it seem like sanuso is 'better' or w/e bc its just a different thing #sanuso got their own problems to sort out. 1. Sanji's everything 2. boundaries on special treatment- #i'm not gonna go seriously into this but both relationships start out not the best and get better over time yknow #also i know usopp's afraid and freaking out a lot but for this post i meant his deeper fears and insecurities #not 'i've got can't-go-on-this-island disease' lmao #the tl;dr of this post is: Usopp is more closed off with Zosopp. Usopp and Sanji have similar issues that cause problems with Sanuso. #also the way i see these ships will probably change at some point. who knows #there was a post i saw recently that was like 'hey sanuso bc romance trio were already chill with each other so sanuso became chill with #each other in an 'alone together' type of way and also they have the same issues' and i thought 'wow so true bestie' and here we are #also. man. usopp taking on / copying the behaviours of his loved ones regardless of his age is just. my jam. in a positive or negative way #maybe i'll make a post about that explaining it more. maybe

[weirdowhodraws1214]

GOOOOOODDD MORNING MURDER DRONES FANS (it is currently 2:50 am while I’m writing this)

Have this lovely piece of traditional art of murder drones I spent 6-7 hours on (yes my body hurts)

#murder drones #murder drones uzi #murder drones n #serial designation n #uzi doorman #md #I think I just died a little holy hell #anyway #bleh #I need to sleep #and probably drink some water #WOW IM DEHYDRATED #aaugshhff #MWAH goodnight everybody!/ref

[magnusbae]

Anakin is on his knees.

This on itself should be humiliation, should be the most obvious sign of defeat, of finally at admittance of being the force Jedi, of never truly surpassing Obi-Wan in anything by brutal strength. What of wisdom, what of listening to the living force and filtering the mud and fuss, what of true servitude, what of being....good... of being just.

There is nothing of this within Anakin. He is tainted with anger and hatred and jealousy. He needs to have, he needs to posses, he needs to be loved and to love, to love so completely it'll burn away all that hs should be. He is too damaged to truly be a Jedi, and Obi-Wan?

Obi-Wan Kenobi is perfect. All what a jedi should be, all that a man should be, all that...

A gentle hand caress through his hair. His Master is unmoving otherwise, standing straight and proper and in control. He shows no emotion on his face, within his force signature. He is a fine statue of a proper jedi and yet.... he embraces Anakin's head and lets him lean in, lean his face against his Master's tan robes.

Oh, oh to be close to him. Oh to be seen by him kindly. Oh, oh to be lov.....

The word die within his heart, the word is beaten and hallowed and used up till it's barely there.

If only it could be used by the man, if only... then Anakin would... surely it will fix him, them, everything. Right?

He reaches his hands up, would be prayer, he takes a hold of his Master's belt, holding upon i for balance, for stopping him from leaving.

His Master does not leave. His Master radiates a deep, reserve sadness through the force, strong enough to sip through impeccable shields. His Master looks down at him, Anakin can feel that. He does not dare look up. He will not live to see a rejection in those blue eyes.

He will stay here, within his Master's protective shadow, where he belongs. Where he should never left.

#yo don't bnjpwo in wht state i am so wipex i cnzt werei msgs at all #and yet i wrote this #haha! #different brain #me/; ejisending total mss msgs in dms #also me; but what if i write ssok #obikin #i ugESs #obikin fic #it is for that delicious fanart from beneath ok like it #should hzve wrote more of kneelsing #wow i am needing to sleep like now asap #dkd #star wars #buns.w #buns.all

[frrrozi]

he is a great dad

#i needed to get this out of my system before bed #nozdormu #anachronos #thank you for your service it wouldn't have happened without you #oc #bronze dragonflight #dragonflight #wow #warcraft #world of warcraft #the way i forgot he had a son and this meme was the first thing that came to my mind #i'll go sleep now enjoy papa noz

[frokkie21]

This lil goober was in my dream today :0

#in my dream i posted this and i was like wow i need to post this fr #then i went right back to sleep #persona 5 #persona 5 fanart #ryuji sakamoto #art #frokkie art