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enchantingjacarandas · 3 months

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Two Sides (Felix) [1/2]

Pairing: Felix / Hyunjin (Minor or Background, Han Jisung | Han / Lee Minho | Lee Know)

Tags: Smut/18+, College/University AU, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends With Benefits, Non-Linear Narrative, First Meetings, Old Money

Other Sites to Read on: Ao3 or Wattpad

Words: 6,221

Part: (1/2)

Felix stared up at his ceiling. This wasn’t what he had planned. When he first met Hyunjin he thought they’d end up in a nice, happy, normal relationship, that he and Hyunjin were destined to become an envied couple by all. Instead they became friends with benefits. Felix knew he was one of many. He briefly wondered if there was ever a side to Hyunjin that only he had seen. Just one part that was his, and his alone.

He sighed as he went to collect his clothes from last night, not bothering to check if Hyunjin was still in the bed. It was always cold and empty when he woke up. Placing his clothes in his dirty hamper, he moved into his bathroom to take a shower. He paused in front of the mirror and wondered if he was really deserving of Hyunjin. Even if he didn't get everything he wanted, he knew others were envious to be in his place. Yet he wasn’t satisfied, when he should’ve been grateful for what little of Hyunjin he got.

What was worse than Felix being utterly entrapped by Hyunjin, was that the man often treated him like he was nothing. Always leaving before Felix woke up. In front of everyone he’d pretend not to know Felix. When it was just them two, sex sometimes felt like a transaction. Yet when Felix would discover something new about Hyunjin it all seemed worth it. Every time he saw a new side he fell deeper.

One time when Hyunjin told him to grab a condom from his bag Felix accidently opened the wrong folder, finding a drawing inside. It was colored with only yellow pencils; the tree felt life-like even though it was made from only a dark yellow color. He hovered his pointer finger above the paper as he traced the outlines of the tree. The tree reminded him of the ones on campus. He was certain he had visited this place before, but Hyunjin’s drawing made it magical. He wanted to be transported there. However, Hyunjin had beckoned him to bed so Felix quickly rushed over with condoms in hand.

Once sex started, Felix’s mind often worried about how it would soon end once Hyunjin was satisfied. Hyunjin would still satisfy Felix plenty, but Felix was starting to need more than just sex to fill him. He wanted their relationship to be more than just friends with benefits, but he worried if he tried to make that change Hyunjin would run away, and that seemed so much worse. If that were to occur, it would be proof that he had just wasted his time pining for someone who didn’t care for him. He wasn’t ready to face that reality.

Felix hated how wrapped around Hyunjin’s finger he was. He couldn’t bear to leave him, but it always seemed like he was at an arm's distance. So close to being able to touch, but still out of reach. Felix had yet to see Hyunjin make any effort. Eventually he gave up his dream of wanting something adventurous with Hyunjin. For the moment they were stable and Felix decided to be content with that. Still, while the nights were fun, the mornings were cold and lonely.

During his shower many thoughts raced through his head. He remembered how they first met at a business arrangement between their parents. After seeing Hyunjin sat on the other side of the table Felix was immediately smitten. Later on he saw Hyunjin at his university. Upon spotting him, Felix had run up to him to introduce himself. Hyunjin didn’t seem to remember him, but Felix hadn’t been able to stop thinking of him.

Felix felt heartbroken wishing nothing more than to have the earth swallow him whole so there was no proof of his existence anymore. He had just thoroughly embarrassed himself after trying to have his first conversation with Hyunjin. He was caught so off guard seeing him at his university that Felix had chased him down, just to ramble about a documentary. The documentary was about paper production. It was quite boring, but his professor wanted to make sure they understood the importance of paper. Saying that was why his class wouldn’t be done online. Felix even had the nerve to ask Hyunjin if paper was something that interested him. Meaningless to say, Felix never got a reply from the man and instead opted to spirited the other direction where he knew his friends would be waiting.

The university's sky was sunny, breathing comfort which contrasted Felix’s rather embarrassed and slightly dreary mood. He rushed up to the table his group of friends were studying at. Minho and Jeongin were working on a group project with a laptop, while Seungmin had his nose deep in a book studying. The spot was the usual place they would meet, as it was in between most of their classes. He hoped his friends would ease his unpleasant mood and give him some form of comfort.

He sat in his normal spot across from Minho

“Why didn’t you guys tell me Hyunjin goes here?” Felix whisper-shouted as he took his spot at the table, setting his backpack down.

Minho sarcastically spoke, pulling his head up from the project. “Hello to you too.”

“Who?” Jeongin asked, ignoring Minho’s remark, more focused on the project. Minho simply rolled his eyes at the lack of care.

“Hwang Hyunjin of course.” Felix couldn’t get this guy out of his head and he’d just found out that he attended the same university as him. Felix still remembered how sophisticated and reserved he was from across the meeting table. How his feathery voice floated around the room. How Felix’s cheeks felt hot after their parents passingly joked about their boys dating. How he wished Hyunjin would have looked at him just once during the meeting.

“Oh you mean the guy that sleeps around a bunch?” Minho spoke, rather displeased. He had fully switched his focus to Felix instead of his and Jeongin’s project. Knowing Minho, Jeongin finished some last minute details before eventually closing the laptop. Minho went on with the conversation. “Why would you care about him?”

“He’s the guy I’ve been talking about for the past month.” Felix spoke in a hushed tone as he leaned in closer to the middle of the table. He didn’t like eavesdroppers.

“The guy from your mom’s business deal?” Jeongin was shocked, not quite believing his ears. He never considered a nice proper guy like Felix would go for the money-flaunting playboy type. Felix simply confirmed his thoughts with a nod as he positioned himself back into his seat.

“I thought you said that guy was boyfriend material.” Minho looked Felix up and down, almost like checking to make sure he was okay in the head. “Hyunjin is not boyfriend material. He’s barely even friend material.”

Seungmin finally pulled his nose out of his book just to nudge Minho’s side, silently telling him not to continue. “So, did you talk to him?” said Seungmin as he placed his book down.

“Yes and no?” Felix let out an awkward laugh rubbing the back of his neck. “Listen, I tried, but I only ended up embarrassing myself.”

Jeongin glanced around the table making sure no one else had something to say first. “So, do you have a plan for how you’re going to win him over?”

“Honestly, I have no clue.” Felix frustratedly sighed as he laid his head on the table. The rest of the group looked around as if they all had the same idea.

Seungmin cleared his throat and put on a devilish smile. “Felix, it sounds like to me that you need a pick-me-up.”

Felix gave a knowing smirk back as he lifted up his credit card. “I could go for an escape.” The group broke out in cheer. Last time they went on an escape sponsored by Felix, they ended up in Paris. The group was more than happy to go on another adventure rather than staying stuck on campus studying.

They visited several luxury brand stores, picking out a light blue and white striped sweater they collectively agreed was made for Jeongin. Of course Jeongin adamantly tried to talk them out of it. However, the group eventually wore him down. Seungmin was still reassuring Jeongin about the sweater as Minho tried on a white pair of pants. Felix was wandering around the store glancing around to see if anything could catch his eyes.

He paused in front of some display cases taking a peak at the rings they had in stock. His eye caught on one ring in particular. It was gray mixed with white creating a marble like pattern. He couldn’t help but to think of Hyunjin. He searched the room making sure his friends were busy, so he could quietly purchase the item without being talked out of it by them. He asked the person to add in another of the same ring. It had always been a small dream for him to have matching rings with his significant other, and now he was one step closer.

He imagined how Hyunjin’s face would be upon receiving the ring. He wondered about how he could confess with the ring in hand asking Hyunjin to be his. His mind abruptly changed course thinking about worst case scenarios. Would Hyunjin see him as outdated for giving a gift for courting? Or worse, Hyunjin could think he was some sort of creep? He quickly had the person behind the counter box up the items before his thoughts could get any worse. He placed the bag in his backpack then met up with the rest of his friends.

Minho sighed at Seungmin. “No, we are not going there.”

“Come on, it looks really fun,” Seungmin defended.

Felix turned to Jeongin. “What are they arguing about now?”

Jeongin seemed over the pair’s arguing as he explained the situation. “Seungmin wants to go to this yacht party, but it’s being hosted by Jisung so Minho doesn’t want to go.”

“I thought you guys were back together?” Felix questioned tilting his head to the side.

“We were until I saw his messages with Hyun– '' Minho got cut off with a slap to the stomach from Jeongin. Jeongin’s eyes motioned to Felix. Minho knew he shouldn’t mention the name. The whole reason why they were here was to help Felix forget about him for a bit. Minho glanced at Felix finishing his sentence, “with another guy.”

Seungmin huffed out, “Hyung people send hearts and talk like that to their friends all the time”.

“If I go to that party he’ll think I’m not mad anymore.”

Seungmin smirked. “Well, if you don’t go, I’ll tell him you’re not mad anymore.” Jeongin couldn’t help the gasp that escaped his lips. Seungmin had won the game and there was no way Minho could change the tides. It was the perfect checkmate.

“Fine, but I’ll just stand in the corner.” Seungmin gave a proud smile at finally beating Minho.

Felix cooed at Minho’s tiny defiance. “Awww. To make it up to you, how about I buy those pants?” Minho broke out into a smile as he headed back into the dressing room.

“Are we going then?” Jeongin asked.

“Yes, you heard him.” Seungmin nudged Felix. “and as long as we have Felix, we can get in anywhere”.

Felix playfully rolled his eyes. “Wow, I love you too.”

“You’re not on the list.” The buff bouncer towered over the group standing in front of the velvet rope.

“Oh come on.” Seungmin pouted.

“Well I guess we can’t get in, oh well.” Minho shrugged, walking away from the entrance. Felix grabbed his arm pulling him back.

“Well if I’m not on the list–” Felix turned to Minho. “Then you certainly are.”

“Name?” the unamused bodyguard asked.

“Lee Minho,” answered Jeongin. Minho clicked his tongue at his friends for giving out his information so easily.

The bodyguard seemed to pause for a moment, recognizing the name. “ID?”

“Here.” Seungmin gave the ID he’d taken from the older’s back pocket.

Minho narrowed his eyes. “Are you guys for real?”

“As real as it gets,” Felix joked, turning his attention back to the guard.

The bodyguard offered Minho back his ID. Minho harshly grabbed it, putting it back into his wallet, this time opting to keep the wallet in a front pocket instead. The guard moved to the side, letting the crew head into the party. Seungmin seemed thrilled to finally be let in, dragging Jeongin and Felix inside as well. However, the bodyguard placed his hand in front of Minho, not letting him pass. The group turned around to see what the problem was.

The bodyguard spoke. “Boss wants to see you.”

“Well I don’t want to see him.” Minho turned his head away.

“He’s expecting you.”

“Expecting me?” Minho raised an eyebrow.

Seeing Minho’s confusion, Seungmin let out a small laugh. “Sorry Hyung, but he offered me the camera I’ve been looking at for the past month.”

“You traded me for a camera!” Minho attempted to lunge at the man, but was stopped by the guard. Who then radioed something inaudible over his walkie talkie. Seungmin, seeing he was free from being attacked, took Felix’s hand and ran away deeper into the crowd of the party.

Jeongin spoke to Minho before joining the rest of the group. “Listen, it's really dumb to stay mad at him. I hope you guys make up by the end of the day.“

“Did you know about this too?” Minho yelled. He never got his answer. Instead two more bodyguards showed up. Minho knew the drill and went with them willingly. Last time, he opted to dive into the water rather than deal with Jisung but running away wasn’t something worth dirtying his new white pants for.

The rest of the group didn’t really know too many people at the party. Normally Minho would keep his boyfriend to himself, so even though the group hung out through trips and outings they never really met Jisung or his friends. Minho would always claim that Jisung’s friends were annoying anyways so there was no point. They honestly wondered how the two lasted as long as they had. Even though they were on again off again they were only ever really off for a day or two, so the group felt like it didn’t really count as being broken up. Seungmin might not understand their relationship, but he was glad to get a free camera from it.

The boys decided to dance around for a bit, having a blast simply enjoying the blaring music and the pulsing lights. They had a couple of drinks in them, but not enough to be considered drunk. After all, this was far from their first party. Memories of Jeongin’s first drink passed through Felix’s mind. He still remembered how the boy ran to the sink thinking he was going to throw up.

“I hear they’re playing beer pong down stairs. I wanna join,” Jeongin yelled over the music, begging Seungmin while pulling on his arm. “Please. I know we’ll make the best team.” It came from some truth as they had won at parties prior. Seungmin gave a simple nod and then was dragged away by the younger. Felix gave them a light wave goodbye before continuing to dance, solo this time.

After a while, he placed his hand on his throat feeling like it was getting quite dry. He searched for where the non-alcoholic drinks were, hoping some plain water would help clear up his throat. His eyes finally found a small table next to some stairs leading upwards. It held snacks and what Felix hoped was some bottled water.

Felix made his way to the table. He was on the hunt as he looked through the items, finally spotting the water in tiny glass bottles. He reached to grab it, ready to down it, but a voice spoke up before he could enjoy his drink.

“I never took you for a vodka type of guy.” A man spoke from the steps.

“Huh?” Felix was confused by what the guy was talking about and also who he was. When he turned to face him his eyes widened with recognition. It was Hyunjin.

Hyunjin attempted to clear the confusion. “The drink you’re holding? You do know that’s vodka, right?”

Felix glanced down at the drink in his hand before politely setting it down. “Oh no I didn't know. I was just looking for some water.” He tried to give a reassuring smile, but feared it looked more awkward than anything else.

“Are you staying sober because you're the designated driver for your group?”

“How did you know–” Felix shook off the thought. “I’m not. We’ve got a different driver.” Hyunjin raised his eyebrows. Felix giggled. “We were just going to call a Substitute Driver.”

Hyunjin lit up with understanding. “Ah, well that’s good then.”

“Oh, and why is that?” Felix smirked.

Hyunjin seemed to be a little taken back at Felix’s bold question, but then once again regained his composure. “It means I can have you all to myself tonight.”

“Shit,” Felix thought. “Was this really happening? Once Hyunjin was a man who couldn’t even look at me, now he has me against my bedroom wall.” Needless to say, Felix was on cloud nine. He could feel Hyunjin’s hot breath as Hyunjin’s lips worked around his neck. His hands lightly picked at Felix’s shirt. Felix could tell by the action that Hyunjin wanted the shirt off. Felix obliged by unbuttoning the top buttons of his shirt, halting when Hyunjin’s lips moved to his collarbone.

A sharp inhale came from Felix as Hyunjin lightly bit his collarbone. This wasn’t Felix’s first time doing things. However, it was his first time having sex with someone he barely knew. Yet he was so enthralled with the person in front of him. When he looked in Hyunjin’s eyes he felt like they were on the same page, that Hyunjin felt the same lust he did. Fantasizing about this moment was one thing, but reality was turning out to be much better.

Felix separated from Hyunjin for a moment only to tug his hand leading him to the bed. “I hope you don’t mind staying at my place.” Felix could be silly at times, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew the other boy had a habit of sleeping around, that’s why Felix had asked him to come to his place. To stay in his bed. He hoped maybe being in a different location would set him apart from the others. That he could make it special for him. After all Hyunjin’s eyes seemed so full of want when he was looking at him. Maybe a change of setting would show Hyunjin that he was different from the rest.

Hyunjin simply replied with, “sounds good. I sleep over at other people’s places all the time.” Swing and miss. Felix had struck out. He was just like the others. Felix’s gloom must have shown on his face for Hyunjin turned towards him. “If you’re not okay with this, we don’t have to do anything. If you just want to talk I’m down for that as well.”

“No! No. I want this.” Felix desperately wanted this, although he preferred it under different circumstances. It would be better if he had gotten to know the man a little more. However, he wasn’t going to let a chance like this pass him by. A chance to go wild for once and have sex with someone he barely knew. While it didn't sound like him, college was a place for figuring out one’s self, so what was wrong with him doing the same? Was it really that wrong for him to want something that was so close?

Felix’s hand traveled to the back of Hyunjin's head, lightly gripping his hair. He pulled his head closer as he pressed their lips together. Butterflies swarmed around in his stomach. He opened his mouth, tasting the alcohol from Hyunjin’s tongue. It told him that he wasn’t the only one who had drank. Felix gripped Hyunjin’s hair tighter, not wanting him to run away. He wanted to hold onto this moment, for just a little bit longer. He worried if his grip loosened then Hyunjin would fall through. He’d be back to spending his nights alone in his cold room. He urgently needed a body to heat his bed tonight.

Hyunjin smirked at the pull of his hair. He had no idea such a sweet looking guy liked it rough. Hyunjin was more than down to play along. He placed his hand on Felix’s shoulder and lightly pushed him away, just to stare into his eyes. Felix couldn’t hold the shared gaze for long, eyes wandering around the other’s body. Even with that Hyunjin kept his eyes focused and concentrated on Felix’s, giving out a little smirk when their eyes met once again.

“How do you want me?” Hyunjin questioned. Felix could feel the routine in his actions. He could only wonder if Hyunjin had bad experiences that led to this becoming a default question. Maybe he asked it to add to the overall experience. Felix had never really thought about boundaries when it came to sex.

Felix was still uncertain how to answer the question when words seemed to tumble out of his mouth. “I just want you.” Immediately a deep blush spread across his face after the words left his lips. Hyunjin simply smiled looking down at him. Felix started stuttering. “I- I- I want…” He trailed off unsure of how to finish his sentence.

“If you don’t know what you want, that's okay too. We can just play it by ear. Tapping your finger three times will be our safe action. I’ll pull back and make sure to check on you when you do that. Do you think that’s a good action?” Felix gave a simple nod and Hyunjin gave a small smile at the cute gesture. ”For now let’s just take things slow and steady.” Hyunjin stared deeply into Felix’s eyes. Felix stared back hoping to communicate that he was more than ready. After Hyunjin got whatever answer he was looking for he continued his movements from earlier.

Leaning in he let his breath cascade over Felix’s exposed neck. The next sensation Felix detected was Hyunjin’s soft lips, then the tongue that eventually peeked through them. Felix’s breathing started to shorten. He was enthralled with the sensation. He didn’t believe it could get better, but Hyunjin proved him wrong when he dragged his finger over his nipple through the thin fabric of his shirt.

That’s when Felix remembered he was wearing one. The material had roughly rubbed his nipples, but Felix wanted to feel Hyunjin’s delicate hands. He kept his neck exposed as he glanced down, noticing Hyunjin was also still fully clothed. Felix didn’t like that idea. He wished to see more of Hyunjin. All of Hyunjin. He reached for the bottom of Hyunjin’s shirt, pulling up. Hyunjin finally broke away from Felix’s neck to help lift the shirt over his head. Once the shirt was free, Felix took off his own.

Hyunjin halted, taking in Felix’s exposed upper body. His eyes seemed to be taking in every detail. Felix almost started to feel embarrassed from all the staring, when suddenly Hyunjin's eyes locked with his. His eyes seemed to ask, “Can I?” Felix wasn’t one to say no offen so he gave a nod. Hyunjin immediately let his tongue slide out of his mouth and onto Felix’s nipple. The sensation sent sparks through Felix’s body. Hyunjin’s tongue outlined the nipple then went straight over it. When he wasn’t using his tongue on the nipple he was using his mouth to suck on it. He traded in between the two as Felix had begun to dig his nails into Hyunjin’s shoulders at the feeling.

Hyunjin’s hand played with the nipple he wasn’t sucking on, flicking and rubbing his knuckle on it. His other hand seemed to have gotten bored and he trailed along Felix’s stomach getting lower and lower, until it halted right at the top of Felix’s pants. His fingers traced the rim of the pants, ghosting along Felix’s skin, before moving away completely. Felix was saddened by the sudden loss, but the feeling soon got replaced as Hyunjin groped his dick from the outside of his pants. It was shocking and Felix let out a moan at the feeling, but quickly covered his mouth.

Hyunjin abruptly lifted his head up at the noise, pulling Felix’s hands away. “Don’t be afraid to make noise.” Hyunjin’s eyes scanned Felix’s face. “I think you sound really pretty.” Felix felt the remark pour over him filling him with desire. He desperately wanted to be noisy for Hyunjin’s approval. Hyunjin took the opportunity of their separation to take off his pants, getting up from the bed to do so. Felix, trying to follow suit, fumbled with his clunky belt that refused to become undone.

Hyunjin must have heard his noises of struggle for he kneeled down on the floor in between Felix’s legs. Felix’s eyes widened at the sight. Hyunjin slipped the belt off with one swift motion, not losing eye contact with Felix. A speck of doubt fell into Felix’s mind. “How was that so easy for him to undo my belt?” He wondered how many times he had done that for someone else.

“Could you lift up your hips?”

“Oh right,” Felix gave a sheepish smile. “Sorry.”

“Are you okay?” Hyunjin asked as he stroked the side of Felix’s face. Felix leaned into the touch. It didn’t matter how many times Hyunjin had been in this situation before. He was in front of Felix ready to have sex with him. He chose to be with Felix in the moment, and Felix should respect that choice by staying in the moment as well. He shouldn’t be worried about Hyunjin’s past.

“Yeah I’m fine. My mind was just elsewhere for a moment, but I’m here now.”

“I’ll make sure to keep you here then.” There was a shuddering determination in the way Hyunjin spoke those words. He moved up the bed pushing Felix further onto it as well. Hyunjin hovered over Felix’s dick causing him to grip the sheets below him in anticipation. Hyunjin leaned in closer, placing a kiss on Felix’s pelvis sending chills throughout his body.

Hyunjin used his pointer finger to trace the outline of Felix’s dick. The sensation caused Felix’s breath to stutter for a brief moment, stopping completely when Hyunijn harshly gripped the base of his dick. Hyunjin was fascinated with the man 's reactions. There was so much more he could do to tease him with anticipation. However, when his eyes fell onto the man’s hands gripping the bed he let up a bit. He gave a light kiss on the tip to amend for his previous teasing.

Felix’s eyes rolled back when Hyunjin ran his tongue along the bottom side of Felix’s shaft. He held Felix’s dick circling his tongue around his tip. Felix sighed at the feeling, his toes curling with pleasure. Hyunjin expertly lowered his mouth on Felix’s member in one swift motion. Using his free hand, he pressed against Felix’s hole. Felix moaned at the pleasure of having the two areas be appreciated. Hyunjin began to bob his head up and down Felix’s dick as Felix’s knuckles started to turn white from gripping the sheets.

They stayed like that for a while, Hyunjin sucking him off as Felix’s moans got more frequent. Hyunjin pulled away after a particular loud moan came from Felix. Felix worried for a moment that he had been too much, but soon he felt a cool liquid sensation in his back entrance. Instead of simply teasing from the outside, for the first time, Hyunjin’s finger had finally entered him. He glanced down through his legs to see Hyunjin placing a condom on his dick with the hand that wasn’t in his ass. The sight undoubtedly sent Felix spiraling deeper into his sex filled mind. He let his head fall back onto the bed, closing his eyes, too focused on the feeling of being spread open by Hyunjin’s lubed fingers.

Hyunjin’s expert hands slowly added another finger to Felix’s hole. As Felix felt himself being stretched more and more he craned his neck backwards. Familiar lips landed back on Felix’s neck leaving open mouth kisses as Hyunjin stretched him wider and wider. Felix’s nails dug deep into Hyunjin’s back in an attempt to feel some stability. As Hyunjin pulled his fingers out of his ass, Felix couldn’t help but to whine at the loss.

“Don’t worry pretty,” said Hyunjin lustily. He was right not to worry because the loss was soon replaced with Hyunjin’s member filling up Felix’s hole. The feeling of Hyunjin’s dick swarmed through his brain, as he perfectly filled him. Hyunjin stayed still, allowing Felix to adjust to his size. He gave light kisses around Felix’s chest as he waited. His hands were placed next to Felix’s sides. Hyunjin had affectedly caged him with his body, giving Felix reassurance. There was Hyunjin everywhere and Felix no longer wanted to live in a world without him.

Once Felix knew he could take more, he spoke. “You can move now.” He felt a little strange speaking the words out loud, but felt a rush of pleasure soon after. Once Hyunjin had registered the words he started pulling out just to ram back into him full force. Everytime he did so, Felix’s moans would grow, which only seemed to fuel Hyunjin more. The constant in and out repetition was mesmerizing. It had caused Felix to claw his fingers down Hyunjin’s back from the pure satisfaction it was giving him.

Hyunjin maneuvered Felix onto his knees with his hands on the bed. Now Hyunjin had a view of Felix’s muscular backside as he spread his ass wider trying to get Hyunjin deeper inside of himself. Felix gripped the sheet underneath him as Hyunjin hit new places. After hitting a particular spot, Felix let out a scream of pleasure arching his back. Hyunjin seemed to let out a small chuckle and then abused that spot. Felix started to see stars as the pace quickened faster and faster.

Felix’s moans got louder and higher as he felt his climax approaching. He didn’t want to hold back or pretend anymore. He tightened up his hole as he came on his stomach and the bed. Felix’s arms gave out as Hyunjin continued thrusting into him. He quickened his pace to chase his own high, enjoying the new tightness of Felix’s hole.

Hyunjin came with a groan, finally releasing his load into Felix. They panted heavily. After a few more moments Hyunjin pulled out of Felix. A strange sense of voidness crept up on Felix at the loss of the other inside him. Hyunjin took off the condom, tying it up and throwing it into the bin nearby. Felix simply gazed at him through heavy eyelids. Hyunjin curled up next to him, resting his head on Felix’s chest, still attempting to catch his breath. Warmth seemed to bloom in Felix’s core at the action. This was the start of something beautiful.

Hyunjin spoke out of breath. “That was amazing.” He looked up at Felix and smirked. “I’d love to do that again sometime.”

“Oh. Oh. This was a–” Hyunjin gave him a confused look. Felix let out a small laugh trying to cover up his mood. “Never mind.” He then plastered on the best smile he could muster as he turned to Hyunjin. “Yeah I’d love that!”

Hyunjin glanced down at Felix’s stomach. “Here let me get that.” Hyunjin abruptly headed towards the open bathroom door. After hearing him stumble around for a bit, Hyunjin returned with a damp washcloth. Felix sharply inhaled at the coolness of the cloth. “Sorry, is it cold?”

“It’s fine.” Felix turned his head to the side. He couldn’t look at the man in front of him any longer. Felix wished he could tell Hyunjin to stop. The cloth was too cold, but he kept quiet. Hyunjin didn’t know his feelings and Felix knew telling him now would only ruin the night.

The warmth from before had vanished and suddenly the whole bed seemed much colder than normal. Instead of being the start of their relationship as boyfriends it was the start of their relationship as hook up partners. Felix was just like everyone else. He felt stupid for thinking he could ever be more than that. His friends were right, Hyunjin was just a guy who hooked up with people. Yet when Hyunjin would call, Felix always came. That’s how it was and that’s what Felix fears it will always be.

Felix shook off the memories. He wished it didn’t end with him always waking up alone. He was dazed in the bathroom feeling the water from the shower drip down his body. He has long given up crying or feeling upset about his situation. He was mostly just frustrated with himself. He was too weak to break it off, yet keeping things the way they were was only making him suffer more. He always felt like he was a spy or a liar, sleeping with Hyunjin under the false pretense of it being casual when it always meant the world to Felix.

Felix let out a huff of his frustration. His worries on this subject had been contained to just him. It clogged up his head at times making him wish for some sort of release. He wanted to tell his friends about it, but found it too shameful. He had become stuck in the same story when Hyunjin had asked him to just be friends. “Afterall, friends with benefits are still a type of friends, right?” Felix shook his head at his lame excuse.

He exited the bathroom looking around his bedroom for his notes and books. He had a test coming up Friday that he needed to study for. He flipped on the light switch hoping it would help his search. However, his thoughts were broken when he heard a groan coming from his bed. “Could it be?” He wondered as he got closer.

It was Hyunjin lying peacefully in his bed. It was the first time Felix had ever seen him asleep. If he could wake up to this sight everyday, life would be worth living a little bit more. He got closer, admiring his eye lashes and the mole under his right eye. Finally Felix stopped at his lips. He wanted to kiss them so badly. They never kissed outside of sex. It was a boundary Felix never dared to cross. While the other layed there Felix could feel that the boundary was getting closer and closer as he leaned in. Was he really about to cross it?

The sheets moved as Hyunjin started to stir awake. Felix quickly leapt across the room getting as far away from the other as he could in such a short amount of time. Felix found his school bag as the perfect distraction and went back to searching for his notes. His back faced the bed as he searched intensely, pushing his thoughts from earlier away.

Hearing Hyunjin sit up, Felix decided to break the silent room. “You slept over here for the first time.”

Hyunjin spoke groggily out loud. “Did I?”

Felix’s heart dropped at Hyunjin’s nonchalant attitude. This was such a big moment for Felix, but it was being torn down by Hyunjin not noticing him once again. Why did he get his hopes up that Hyunjin was being different or doing something special because it was him? Did he think that Hyunjin suddenly woke up and was ready to confess? Felix wondered if ending this relationship would be better than being in it.

Felix continued looking through his bag. He hoped Hyunjin still believed his focus was on the contents of the bag. In reality all his thoughts were on Hyunjin and their conversation. “Was there anything you needed?”

“Yeah, I had a question,” said Hyunjin. “I kinda need a date for my mom’s charity fundraiser, and I was wondering if you’d wanna go?”

Felix felt his heartbeat speed up, as he paused his searching. “Are you asking me to be your date?”

“Uh yeah, just ‘cause you also come from old money as well. My friends just don’t get this kind of thing.”

“Oh.” Felix was disappointed once again. “You’re asking me to be your fake date?”

Felix heard a muffled “Yeah,” come from his bed. Felix sighed, zipping up his bag deciding that his notes weren’t in there. “Is there a problem with that?”

Felix did his best to make his voice sound stable. “No, not at all.” He turned to his desk, spotting the notes he had been searching for. Of course it would be there, it was the simplest solution. Felix turned back to see Hyunjin typing on his phone. Maybe he should go for the simple option with this problem as well. Wasn’t it better to just end things plain and simple?

⤷ Part 2

A/N: I hope you liked it! It was my first time writing smut so hopefully I didn't do too bad. As always helpful criticism is highly welcomed and thank you for reading!! <3

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