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tomieyamazaki · 1 day

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“The gloomy girl washed over the places she was touched,

the aching sensation down there he had thrust,

the sloppy, disgusting noises of ‘pleasure’ from her; he had trust,

for she’d keep up with this act

even if she didn’t like any of it, and she’d prolong to wait until he’d retract.

She’d close her eyes and gulp down the disgust,

dig cavity into her own trust,

cry out and adjust,

She’d pray to one day associate love with lust; just as easily others were able to ardor this sullen thirst.

Nonetheless, he’ll only continue his quest,

a prideful smirk as all he’d see was her ‘enjoyment’ expressed

and never

her silent repentance as she subsequently dressed.

He loves her, so he invades.

She loved him so she lays.

He’d take her whenever he wanted, and She’d take it whenever he needed.”

— Tomie Yamazaki, Unanswered Lust, 2024.

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tomieyamazaki · 8 days

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Writing is rather a shush to the sparse thoughts of my very existence, than it is to convey out loud on paper, through concerning consistence, whatnot I live, bearing of you.

— Tomie Yamazaki, To the Love I’ve Never Met, 2024

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tomieyamazaki · 10 days

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“She couldn’t hurt me,

but with the mere turn of a finger, I’d drop to my once mighty knee.

She couldn’t bestow a single scratch on me, yet was able to

pose irresistible, burning,

adjourn; distraction

to my chaos; immoral destruction.

Hell, She couldn’t even do anything

except emit me her absence,

Her silence,

Her frown; deadly yet sweet,

which were the worst punishments to a man so dead beat.

I deserved hell, I admit that.

And I’d rightfully go to that demonic prison after death,

I’d bow, lay my life forward, for Her to sway away my last breath,

as one moment away from Her was worse than the aching catastrophe my soul awaits,

if it meant I wouldn’t get to live without kneeling by Her presence.

Oh what I’d give, to have met Her in adolescence;

to live life

entirely

by Her chords,

have Her tug every thought, every string, with Her mere words,

that emerged me into a wretched monster

into whatever set forth the slightest peck of Her smile.

She is everything, the kind queen to the most corrupt, vindictive unworthy king.

Send me to hell a thousand times, burn every inch of my body, force me to praise the gods I hate,

but never dare show me a frown on Her face

unless it is slaughter you await.

Because then,

I’d challenge god himself,

I’d ravage the world for wronging Her,

myself.

Every single life of mine, I’d shatter every floor that caused her a falter of her shine,

every mirror that spoke ill to Her,

every soul that dared gaze of Her.

I was in no position to be considered king; pathetic, corrupt, careless, a man due for punishment.

And though I’d never be a king,

She was still my queen,

and during my pathetic stance,

She could restrain my reckless sin with just a glance.

Words cannot describe Her,

paint cannot portray Her,

revenge cannot avenge Her,

and no man worthy of protecting Her with every once of his being, fighting until his body gives away but his soul forever persists,

but me, exists;

foolish nothing that turns into something through Her mere acknowledgement.

I am because of Her.

I will for Her.

I exist solely through Her.

She wasn’t the bane or center of my existence,

She was the anchor to it.

She was it.

I am a being molded of whatever is left of Her.

A villain and the epitome of kindness; in no world are we to be.

In no mind, shall our goals aline;

Hers of spreading love, everything good,

mine of eyes twitching with ruthless revenge, every sin of mine carried a gory stench.

I exhale revenge and inhale Her.

A villain and his unknowing queen; in no life shall I let Her go

from igniting up an impossible shine

in the pitch black heart of mine; She made a home.

She wasn’t the object of my desires, She was what kept me from them; the hushing water to my cruel fires.

And, for the world, that was good.”

— Tomie Yamazaki, Queen To A menace, 2024.

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tomieyamazaki · 14 days

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“I had everything. I was everything. Position, power, money, masculinity, the stimulus for submission. My men quivered before me, my scent crazed and confined the strongest of man into devotees. My presence was powerful, my mouth spoke nothing but truth fulfilled commands—victims could only pray I was feeling merciful. My hands evinced nothing but death; my fingers grabbed and tackled, shot mercilessly and took away God’s gift of breath. My heart was too dark to ever feel remorse, to ever indorse morality; to ever feel.

It was not until she had entered my life,—she who had the lasting impact of an interjecting knife, for whom I had prayed, to the God i hated, to be my rightful wife—, she had ignored me, she had frowned and turned away, that I had found myself weaker than a pathetic kolibri. I could not avail an inch of my hand forward, afraid she’d disapprove henceforward. I couldn’t raise my voice, for one flinch from her would drive me to raise my carnage upon my own being; put an end to my corrupt destroys. After her, is when I learned what a man really is.”

— Tomie Yamazaki, Chaos x Kindness, 2024.

Notes

1. Stimulus: trigger, to evoke something. 2. Envinced: reveal the presence of. 3. Indorse: approve or support. 4. Interjecting: interrupt. 5. Kolibri: a very weak gun. 6. Avail: do; attempt. 7. Henceforward: from this/that time on. 8. Carnage: the killing of a large number of people.

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tomieyamazaki · 15 days

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There’s only so much words can acquit; and so little my heart is able to admit.

— Tomie Yamazaki, Words, 2024.

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tomieyamazaki · 16 days

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One of these poesy lives, I shall run out of word. But never the incessant reverie of a lovebird. Writing is rather a shush to the sparse thoughts of my very existence, than it is to convey out loud on paper, through concerning consistence, whatnot I live, bearing of you. I scrawl away like a little girl in love, but when pen reaches its destination, paper folds away in ration, the forlorn-ignorant adolescent knows inevitably it is true; that I am to never find you. You of whom I have never glimpsed, never known, never evinced. Yet, you I so desperately muse of, delude the greatest deity of love, the illicitly enchanting creation of God, you bring all men to an insecure doubt of fraud. I do not know you yet I do know. I savvy the sweet sounds of your laughter, the wrinkled corners of your lips I frail after, I know what it is like to grow old with you, to explore young with you. Yet I shall never know who it is you. Of you I want and need. Of you I pray to one day meet.

— Tomie Yamazaki, To the Love I’ve Never Met, 2024.

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tomieyamazaki · 16 days

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𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫

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Do NOT claim my writing to be yours.

Please respect my work. Thank you.

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