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breezymichelle99 · 2 years

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Let Me Go | Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes.

Summary: After Thanos Everything changed including your relationship with Steve. And now a life changing decision could change everything.

Warnings: Unrequited Love, multiple POVs, loving someone else, Endgame, Infinity War spoilers, Steve:Peggy, Feelings of regret, reader feeling like the were never enough, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of terminating said pregnancy, tough decisions, Bucky being an angel, best friends girl, friends to lovers, mentions of depression, almost losing a baby, Stress, hospital visit, Wanda Using her powers, suicidal thoughts, story line inaccuracy, time travel, life changing choices, mentions of marriage, mentions of sex, babies, Worried Bucky, Steve feeling like an idiot, Reader having to make the best choice for their family. Writing this made be cry several times (I think think that should be a warning. lol), Happy ending. (As always let me know if I missed anything)

A|N: I hope you enjoy. I spent a lot of time trying to navigate the Dynamic of this story in the best way I knew how. I hope you guys enjoy it :)

(Photo’s for the moodboard are all from Pinterest, I do not own).

When you met Steve you knew his heart belonged to another; Peggy Carter. He’d loved her for most of his life but then he met you and things began to change for him. He began to feel something he hadn’t really fully experienced; true love. Though his love for her faded over the years you wondered if he ever truly stopped loving her. That thought was always in the back of your mind no matter how long you and Steve had been together.

Over time Steve fell more and more in love with you. Perhaps more than he had ever loved Peggy, especially after her death you thought the memory of Peggy Carter had faded from Steve Rogers mind and finally things between the two of you had actually begun to blossom.

“I love you.” Steve whispers as he’s holding you tightly as the two of you lay together in bed one night after he had spent hours working with Bruce in the lab, searching for a way to get the “Infinity Stones.” back to where they belong to reset the timeline. You run your fingers over his perfectly sculpted chest, Looking up into his gorgeous blue eyes. “I love you too, Steve. You whisper as he leans down to kiss your lips gently. He snuggled you into him and you fell asleep quickly unaware of the heavy weight that Steve now carried.

As long as you’ve been with Steve he’s never been able to resist the urge to save the world, it was just who he was. So when he came to you with an Idea to finally get the stones back you weren’t entirely surprised that he would be involved somehow. For the last few days Steve had been acting strange with you. It didn’t take you long to realize that it had been the anniversary of Peggy’s death this week. Would you ever be able to escape the hold this woman had on your relationship? Not only was it the anniversary but the long hours spent working out a plan with the team, and the desperate undeniable urge to save everyone always that plagued him. So when he got into bed beside you mentally and physically exhausted you knew something was wrong.

“What is it?” you ask him as he pulls you into his body, holding you a little too tight. You knew then something was wrong. There was a long lonely silence that filled your shared bedroom. “I think Bruce and I have finally come up with a plan to get the Infinity Stones back to where they belong.” you notice almost immediately that he’s not making eye contact with you. You move on the bed sitting up so you are looking down at him beside you. “Okay what is it?” you ask, he looks away. “Steven Grant Rogers, look at me.” you demand. “Baby please..” he says. Silence fills the room again and you know in your heart you aren’t going to like this plan.

“I'm going to take the stones back myself.” he says. You gasp. You knew it. “Steve, no. You can’t.” you beg him. “You don’t always have to be the hero, it’s not always up to you to save the world.” you sob. He touches your face, wiping away the tears. “I know but I feel like I have to do this.” he says not telling you the entire truth because he knows it will only break your heart more.

“I know there's no talking you out of this so I’m not even going to try.” you say getting up from the bed. He can see the heartbreak in your eyes and he can’t stand the way he feels right now. “You know I love you…right?” he says as he watches you walk out of the room. A deep aching silence fills the space between you. “Yes Steve, I know.. I love you too.” you say leaving the room struggling to look at him, knowing you had a secret of your own.

In the coming weeks things are tense between you two and you struggle to find the words. When will you be enough for him? Will you ever be enough for him? If it’s not peggy then it’s saving the world. To Steve Rogers you will always be second best in his life.

Finally, Everything is ready and the day comes when Steve would risk everything to return to the infinity stones.

Steve was holding you close. You still have no idea of his true intentions even though you know in your heart that Steve Rogers was not planning on returning to this timeline when he returned the stones.

“I love you always.” you whisper to him as you hold him close. There was a distance in his eyes and you weren’t the only one that noticed it. Bucky was standing there beside you and noticed it too. He was worried his best friend was about to make the biggest mistake of his life. After everything they’d been through this was how their story ended; with the dumbest decision in history.

A long deep sigh leaves Steve’s lips. And you know this is it. Steve turns to Bucky first. They hug and Steve says something to him that you don’t hear. But Bucky nods. Then it was your turn. Your turn to say goodbye to the love of your life, who no matter how much you loved him it would never be enough… You tried to stay strong to hold yourself together. Maybe you were wrong, maybe he’d return the stones and then return to you and the two of you would live happily ever after and this would all be like a bad dream. But you knew better, you could feel it in the air between you, in the way he looked at you and the way that his lips didn’t quite kiss you the same… This was goodbye.

“I love you Steve Rogers… Never forget that.” you sob. He gives you one last long sad look as he steps into the time machine. You feel Bucky put his arm around you and you don’t know what to do, how to feel. Steve nods at Bruce and without another word he’s gone. You begin to cry.

There is a long period of silence between everyone. “He should be back by now.” Bruce says breaking the deafening silence. You begin to sob again. You knew it. Everyone begins to panic. Bucky’s looking at you. Other than the tears that filled your beautiful eyes you were calm. You look too bucky. “He’s not coming back.” you cry and turn into Bucky’s Arms. he holds you tightly. “What do you mean?” Bruce says. Everyone is looking at you more confused than ever.

“He went back to her.” you whisper. Bucky the one hearing your words. His heart sank. Steve you idiot. He thinks to himself. You break free of Bucky’s hold and you walk away. He wants to go after you but he knows everyone else deserves an explanation. So he gives it to them. Bucky does his very best to explain Peggy Carter to his friends.

“After her death and the Thanos events Steve realized he was still in love with her and wished that he could go back in time to see if they ever had a chance together and Then you two discovered he could travel back in time, he knew this was his chance to get back what he lost; to finally get his chance with her.” Everyone gasps. “It’s not that he didn’t love Y|N we all know he did but there was always this ache inside him for a girl he’d always dreamed off and he knew that wasn’t fair to Y|N to only half love her, he knew she deserved better.” Bucky does his best to try and explain everything to everyone; who are all shocked. But how could they have known?

As you walked away from your friends from the man you loved deeply and unconditionally, you realized there was something in your pocket; a letter, he must have slipped it into your pocket when he was hugging you. You pull it out, unfold it and quietly begin to read. “My dearest Y|N, I know at this moment you are confused, upset, heart broken and you probably hate me more than ever but I need you to understand that I do love you. You were my true love. And I need you to know that you deserve to be more than half loved, to be treated like the absolute light you are. For someone to worship the ground that you walk on and that man is not me. I am sorry and I hope that you can find it in your heart to someday forgive me. I need you to let me go, be happy, fall in love, be wild, be crazy, live a life full of all the things that you deserve and so much more. All my love always. Steven G Rogers.”

Your heart breaks into a million pieces as you hold his final letter in your shaky hand. You slide your hand down to your stomach, clutching your secret. A few weeks ago before all this craziness with Steve going back in time, you found out you were pregnant. You and Steve were going to have a baby, you were going to have a family…Together. You had been searching for the just right way to tell him when he broke the news to you that he would be time traveling to return the infinity stones. And you knew then you couldn’t tell him because even a baby wouldn’t make him stay and you knew that.

You walked into your bedroom. The silence was deafening. You grabbed his shirt from the floor and slipped it over your body, that had now been taken over by uncontrollable shivers. His picture beside the bed you grabbed it clutching it to your chest as you climbed into bed and sobbed uncontrollably. How has this become your life? Alone, broken, sad and pregnant. There was no way you were going to be able to do this without him; especially since being without him made you want to die. How could you go on?”

You hear a sound as the bedroom door creaks open. ��Y|N?” you hear. Bucky’s sweet velvety voice fills the room. You groan in response. “I know you don’t really want to see anyone right now but I thought I would check on you.” he whispers. As he peers over into the bed. The first thing he notices is the handwritten letter from Steve and then you sobbing into his pillow on the bed. “Fuck Steve you really are a god damn idiot.” he curses outloud as he sits beside you on the bed.

“I'm Sorry.” Bucky says pulling you into his arms and just letting you cry. “I don’t know what to do, Buck.” you finally say absolutely sobbing. He wasn’t sure what you meant.

“I loved him more than anything, he was my everything. I always knew deep down he’d never love me as much as he loved her, I always knew that no matter what I would never be enough for him, but I clung to the little bit of hope that at least for a while he loved me enough and that was good enough for me.” you sob into Bucky's chest. Bucky hated the way Steve had made you feel over a girl he seriously only kissed once, but he knew it was the “What If” of it all for Steve. What kind of life could he have had with her that kept him yearning for something he had never known.

“Sweetie.” Bucky pauses to wipe the tears from your eyes. “You know he loved you.” he adds. “Obviously not enough.” you continue to sob. Silence fills the room. Several long minutes pass without either of you saying a word. “James.” you whisper, breaking the silence. “Yes.” he says as he continues to rub your back. There was silence again as you tried to find the words to say. “What is it, Y|N?” he asks, knowing it must be serious if you called him James. You look up into his eyes hoping to find some answer within them.

“I'm Pregnant.” you sob and just like that your heart aches at the thought of the little one you could possibly bring into the world, of the love he or she will never know from one of the greatest men you had ever known. You hear a quiet gasp leave Bucky’s lips as he searches your eyes for his own answers.

“Did he know?” he finally mustered up the courage to ask. You swallow. . “No” you say dryly. “I had just found out right before he told me about the plan to go back in time and I was still looking for a way to tell him when he told me his plan and I knew the moment he told me, that he didn’t plan to come back and how could I make him stay somewhere he didn’t want to be just because of me. I couldn’t ruin his chance to finally be happy, to finally be with the woman he always wanted to be with. I couldn’t take that from him” you sob.

“Oh Sweetie.” Bucky holds you tightly and you cling to him. Sullen with the decision you now had to make. “I don’t think I can go through with it, I can’t do this alone. I just can’t. This baby deserves two people who can love them unconditionally, not just me desperately trying to cling to the last memory of Steve I will ever have….” there is silence again as you weep. “I just can’t do it.” Bucky’s heart broke for you.

You knew this was a huge decision. But you knew what the right decision was. You were in no place right now to raise a baby, one that deserves your undivided attention and love. And how could you love someone in such a way when you couldn’t bear to love yourself in such a way right now. You had your mind made up. This Baby deserved better.

You had always dreamed of having a family; and you always hoped you’d have one with steve. A beautiful wedding, a few kids, a house in the hills but now you’d never have anything with him.

In that moment Bucky knew what he had to do. There is no way he could let you lose your last connection to Steve. He’d do anything to help you hold on to that little glimmer of him. “Listen to me.” he says as he tucks his fingers under your chin so you look up at him. His eyes begging you to listen to him. “Let me help you. Let me take care of you, of this baby. Let me give you everything you’ve always wanted.” his eyes are begging you to let him in, let him take care of you.

You swallow hard. You can’t ask him to do this and you know it. “Oh Bucky, I can’t ask you to do that.” you are looking up at him as his hand caresses your cheek. “Please.” he begs. You sigh. “Buck I can’t ask you to do this, to take care of me, of a baby that’s not yours, to put your life on hold for me, to keep you from finding the love of your life. I can't, I just can’t do that to you James I'm sorry.” you look away from his intense gaze.

He pulls you into his arms. “Trust me beautiful, there is nothing I’d rather do, please I promise you’ve got me always.” he says Steve’s last words echoing in his ear. “Please take care of her Buck.”

After a very deep and intense conversation between you and Bucky you decide to keep the baby, with James by your side.

But despite everything you’ve been struggling a lot these days and not even a sweet conversation and warm bath could calm your broken heart. You still missed Steve a lot and no matter what you did you could not seem to mend your broken heart. “I need a favor.” you ask Wanda one day. She looked at you hesitantly. “Sure, what is it?” she asks. You knew Bucky was out with Sam and there wasn’t a better time to ask. “I need you to show me Steve.” you ask as tears fill your eyes.

You had just found out last week you were having a baby boy and the thought of him growing up not knowing his dad was Captain America was killing you inside. Wanda gave you a sideways look. “Please Wanda, I need to know he’s at least happy wherever he is.” you beg her. “Alright.” she gives in. “Just this once, okay.” she knew you were very pregnant and very emotional and she hoped that maybe this could give you some closure.

So she did what you asked. She placed her fingers to your temple and she showed you a vision of Steve. He and Peggy were dancing in the living room, some 40’s music playing in the background as they laughed and kissed and you saw that glimmer in his eyes you always wished he’d shared with you, he was happy and they looked like they were very much in love.” you began to sob. “Alright that’s enough. Sweetie please, I want you to be happy.” you grab Wanda’s wrist. “How can I be happy without him?” you shout leaving the room in tears.

You keep torturing yourself with Steve’s happiness, begging Wanda to keep showing you his happiness over and over again until you had somehow managed to forget completely bout the little life that you carried inside of you. You were so depressed and lost that you didn’t care about anyone or anything anymore, and it’s not like you could drown yourself in booze and bad habits, no you’d much rather just torture yourself until you were barely hanging on. . “Please Wanda just one more time.” you begged. “Y|N ths is the last time I’m not doing this anymore.” she warned but once again she placed her fingers to your forehead as she took a peek into another timeline, where Steve was happy without you.

You feel yourself getting light headed, you hear Bucky yelling at Wanda in the background as you pass out. You hadn’t been taking care of yourself lately and you knew it. You woke up to the sound of beeping. Your vision was blurry. Bucky by your side. “Hey you.” he smiles but you can tell there's something wrong, his eyes filled with worry. “The baby?” you gasp. As you realize what you have done. How could you? Bucky takes your hand. “He’s fine, he's a fighter, just like his mom. Everything’s going to be just fine.” he whispers. You smile at him as you close your eyes exhausted. “I'm sorry James.” you whisper as you fall asleep. You feel him squeeze your hand. “No need to be sorry doll. I'm here I’ll always be here.” he says, he never lets go of her hand.

After your hospital scare you decide it’s time to make a change in your life. Everything is about you and this baby and Bucky. Through everything you and Bucky had started to get really close. Finally after what seemed like a wild 9 months you have your little Boy; Noah August Rogers. Bucky is amazing with him and with you; so patient and kind and loving.

You and Bucky begin to fall for each other. Slowly in the way he looked at you and the way he always dropped everything for you and how he held you and how much he loved your son like he was his own, and how he listened to you and how you always felt like you were the only girl in his world. You fell in love with James Buchannan Barnes.

He realized as he sat there in the light green nursery that the two of you had painted together, as he held baby Noah in his arms, slowly rocking him to sleep as he let you have a few minutes to yourself ; that he had fallen in love with his best friend's girl. Even though Steve had forfeited that right when he left you both alone.

But somehow in the late movie nights, and soft giggles, and lunch dates with you and Noah, and how you asked him to hold you at night till you fell asleep, and how you always seemed to be looking at him with so much love and admiration as he bounced your baby boy on his knee, or how you never judged him for the things he did when he was the winter soldier.

The two of you are healing each other, him from his past as the winter soldier and you from your broken heart caused by Steve.

It was late Noah had been asleep for a while now and you had fallen asleep in Bucky’s lap as you watched some stupid movie on TV both exhausted from taking care of Noah all day. “Doll, let's go to bed.” he says smiling as he looks down at you smiling in your sleep. You groan. “Fine.” you whine with a smirk as you pull yourself from Bucky’s arms. You stare at him for a second.

“What is it?” he asks, smiling back at you. “Thank you.” you whisper. He tilts his head at you a little confused. “For what doll?” he asks. You sigh. “For everything.” you say touching his cheek with your soft fingertips. “I feel like I don’t tell you enough how grateful I am for you… You saved me Buck, you kept me from making the greatest mistake of my life. I couldn’t have done any of this without you. I definitely wouldn’t have survived without you.” you confess. Bucky blushes, he can’t stop his body from leaning forward, his lips capturing yours. You pull yourself into his lips, fingers running through his long brown locks.

He pulls his lips from yours slowly. “Oh My Gosh I'm sorry I didn’t…” he words are halted by your lips on his again. once more. “Don’t be sorry.” you whisper into his lips. You’ve been feeling something wild for him lately. Something you never thought you’d feel again. You were so grateful to him for sticking by you all this time, for taking care of you, of Noah. he didn’t have to do any of it but he did and you would forever be grateful to him.

It had taken until this moment right now for you to realize that you were in love with James Buchanan Barnes and he was hopelessly in love with you. You pull your lips away from his slowly, a flash of worry dances in his eyes, but you reassure him with a soft smile. “Come On Buck let’s go to bed.” you whisper, getting up from the couch beside him and pulling him with you. He gives you a questioning look. “Together.” you smirk. It takes a minute for his brain to process what you are asking. But once it did there was no stopping the handsome super soldier. “As you wish, my lady.” he smirks as he sweeps you up in his arms, you giggle and his heart for the first time feels complete.

As the days went on you and James became inseparable, finding a love in each other that you never thought either of you would find. “Close your eyes.” he insists as he guides you from the car. You had been driving for sometime at his request because he had a surprise for you. “James, where are we?” you giggle as you feel grass beneath your feet. “Patients sweetheart.” you hear him chuckle. Suddenly you stop. “Alright doll, open your eyes.” he says moving his hands from your body, stepping aside so he can get a good view of your reaction.

You open your eyes and gasp. “JAMES! OMG” you look at him shocked. “What is this?” you ask him as you stare at a gorgeous one story house, surrounded by trees, with a play set in the backyard, and a wrap around porch with rocking chairs, and a little barn. You look at him begging him to explain, as you stand there in the front yard of this gorgeous home. “You needed a place of your own, a place for Noah to grow up, a place for a fresh start, some place peaceful and beautiful just like you.” he whispers. There was silence between you for a minute as you tried to stop the tears that escaped your eyes. “You… you did all this for me.. For Noah?” you reach out for him.

The look in his eyes, the look he always had for you, the look of a man who truly loved you unconditionally. “Bucky?” you whisper. “I thought it was time you got out of the compound, had a place of your own, a place to heal, I’ve been working on it for a little while now trying to get everything just right for you..” “For us.” you whisper interrupting him. James takes a deep breath as you look at him taking his hand. “For us James, I wouldn’t be at this place in my life without you. Without you helping me with Noah, and taking care of me when I wasn’t at my best, for this gorgeous, thoughtful home you made, none of this would be possible without you James..” you pause. Because you are about to say something you never thought you would ever say again. “I love you James Buchanan Barnes, and I Can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me and for Noah...” you say the words feeling so natural and safe and meaningful as they leave your lips.

His hand is on your cheek in an instant pulling your lips to his kissing you wildly. “I love you too, doll.” he whispers, barely taking his lips from yours. “You and Noah are my world and I hope you never forget that.” he says kissing you again. “I could never.” you whisper into his lips. “Never ever.” his hands fall to your hips, yours are in his hair as you make out in your new front yard. He pulls his lips away from yours slowly. “Do you want to see inside?” he asks, taking your hand. “Of course I do.” you laugh. “I can’t believe you did this. It’s so beautiful, Bucky I just can’t believe this is ours, Our home.” the way your voice; so happy and warm and full of love says “Our home.” melts Bucky’s heart and for the first time in a very long time he really does feel like he’s home.

He opens the door for you and you walk inside. Everything is so open and bright. As you wander room to room, giggling and gasping; James holding your hand. From the gorgeous kitchen, the spare rooms, and the master bedroom, and Noah's perfect little nursery. The huge backyard with the swingset and pool. The perfect quiet place for two people who had been through so much. “What is it?” he asks as you look over at him. You lick your lips as you turn to him. “I think you and I should take full advantage of this time alone.” you whisper. “Just you and me in our little world, no baby, nobody asking us how we are, just the two of us.” you say as you pull him in close to you. A smirk crosses his lips. “I like the sound of that.” he whispers into your lips as he presses his body into yours. Fingertips tracing your body as he backs you into the wall. Soft little moans leaving both of your mouths.

“James.” you groan. As you find yourself in your new bedroom. “Yes beautiful.” he whines. “You are my everything.” you say breathless. A smirk crosses Bucky’s beautiful lips. “As you are mine.” he says into the soft skin of your neck as he kisses down your body, clothes scattered on the floor of the bedroom. Your bodies tangled together in the sheets of your new shared bed. The air filled with the sounds of each other's names, soft little moans and breathless whispers. Back’s arching and nails digging into skin, kisses and sweet little cries. “I love you doll.” Bucky whispers as he holds you in his arms, as you both try and catch your breath

Neither of you had felt like that in a very long time. As you lay there in Bucky’s arms you can’t believe this is your life. Though you always imagined your life differently since you always thought you’d be here with Steve but that didn’t matter now. “I can’t wait to bring Noah home.” you whisper looking up at Bucky as you lay on his chest. He smirks as he runs his fingers through your hair, gently kisses your forehead. “Well let’s go get him.” Bucky smirks. You lean up, a sparkle in your eyes. “Really?” you say placing soft kisses to his chest. “Yeah babe, let's go bring our baby home.” he says leaning over you, kissing you slowly. You pull your lips from his slowly, fingers caressing his cheek as you look deep into his eyes. “I love you James.” you whisper as you give him a quick kiss, then jump from bed to get dressed so you can go and get your baby.

You drove back to the compound, Bucky holding your hand across the center console. The two of you are laughing and talking about the future. Everything was perfect. When you get back to the compound you find Nat snuggling baby Noah on the couch. “Well don’t you two look happy.” she says with a smirk. You squeeze Bucky’s hand and give him a loving look. “I think we’re getting there.” you smile. “We’re?” Tony asks as he brings a bottle in for Noah. you and bucky look at each other. “We.” Bucky smirks, pulling you in close to him and giving you a gentle kiss on the cheek. Tony and Nat look at each other with large grins. “We are happy you two found each other, you both deserve it.” they both say. You sit with Nat as she feeds your sweet little baby, talking about the gorgeous home Bucky had made for the three of you, showing her pictures of all the gorgeous rooms and all the thought and love he had put into everything.

It takes you a few weeks but you finally get everything moved out of the compound, finally you three have settled into your gorgeous new home. “Bucky dinner.” you call placing Noah in his highchair. “Coming doll.” he calls to you as he comes from his office down the hall. You feel his lips on your neck. You melt into him. “Smells amazing, love.” he says, grabbing a beer from the fridge. You smile at him as you set the dinner down on the table, “Roast, mashed potatoes, asparagus. My favorite.” Bucky chuckles as you kiss him gently before you sit down at the table between your two favorite boys.

You were settling into life as a family pretty easily. Bucky still went on a few missions every now and again, which you didn’t mind. You worked from home so you could take care of Noah. But no matter how far Bucky went he always came back to you. It was after a particularly difficult mission when he came home to you exhausted. The two of you were laying in bed when he asked you something you never thought you’d ever hear. He’s holding you tightly in his arms, kissing gently down your neck, you snuggled in close to him. “Marry me?” he asks. “What?” you ask, leaning up looking down at him. “Marry me.” he says again, his hand caressing your cheek. “Be my wife. You and Noah are my family and I feel like it’s time I make an honest woman out of you. Please marry me.” he says again. A tear drops down your cheek onto his chest. He reaches up to trap another with his thumb. The two of you look at each other for a few minutes. “I would love to Marry you James.” you say his lips capture yours, your fingers run through his hair deepening the kiss. He pulled his lips away from yours in an adorable smile, as he reached over into the bedside table drawer, retrieving a small velvet box.

He opened it, revealing a gorgeous diamond engagement ring. A tiny gasp left your lips. “James, it’s beautiful.” you say as he slides the most perfect ring onto your shaking finger. “I love you so much.” you whisper, capturing his lips with yours. “I love you more doll.” he whispers, kissing your forehead gently as you both fall asleep. When you wake up the next morning, you catch a glimpse of your new ring shimmering in the sunlight off of Bucky’s tanned chest. You couldn’t help but smile. He was still asleep beside you. “I love you James Buchanan Barnes.” you whisper as you kiss his cheek slowly, letting him sleep a little longer, he deserved it after all. You got dressed and went to get Noah from his Crib who had been babbling about for a while now.

As you sat at the table, cup of coffee in one hand, baby in the other. You finally get a moment to take everything in. You were a Fiance. Someone wanted to marry you, and all your baggage. But not just anyone; the most sweetest, selfless, loving man you had ever known. Somehow out of the darkness you two had found the light; in each other. “Good morning, beautiful.” Bucky says kissing you slowly. “Good morning.” you whisper, getting a quick look at him, shirtless and in gray sweatpants. You chuckle. Bucky leans down to give Noah a soft kiss.

The two of you talk a while after putting Noah down for a nap later that day. About the engagement, about the wedding, about the future. Working everything out. Deciding on a quick engagement. The two of you had waited long enough to be happy. Why waste it? You did let Nat throw you an engagement party at least.

There he stood at the end of the aisle, tears in his eyes as he watched you make your way towards him. You couldn’t stop smiling. Tony Holding Noah in the front row. “Mama” he called with a giggle as you walked by, you blew him a kiss and returned your gaze to Bucky. He reached out for you as you made it to the altar. “You look beautiful.” he whispers. You couldn’t help but blush. You hand Nat your flowers as you take Bucky’s hand. You both decided to read your own Vows, and everyone was in tears. It was the most beautiful day. “You may kiss the Bride.” “Finally.” Bucky Laughs as he leans in to kiss you. “I love you.” he whispers. “I love you too.” you say. “Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. and Mrs. James Buchanan Barnes.” Everyone cheers as you walk by Bucky scooping up Noah in his arms as the three of you walk out together.

After the wedding you threw a reception for your friends and family. Noah had fallen asleep hours ago and you couldn’t get Bucky off the dance floor. “I'm proud of you.” Nat says as she finally is able to steal you away from Bucky, who is now taking shots with Thor. “You’ve been through so much. And through it all you managed to find love again, to have a family to get married, to survive. I am so very proud of everything you’ve gone through babe.” she says. You sigh. “It was difficult there for a while, honestly I didn’t think I was going to make it. But James rescued me, if it hadn’t been for him I would not have made it here, with a sweet little son and a gorgeous husband. He saved me. I fully believe if it hadn’t been for him I would not be here.” you admit. You look over to your husband who was already looking at you. “Hi” you whisper. He winks at you. God you loved that man. You and Nat talk a few more minutes before you are interrupted.

“Sorry to interrupt but would you mind if I steal my wife?” he says, wrapping his arms around you and kissing your neck. “Not at all, Congratulations again to both of you.” Nat says, giving you a little wink as she walks away. “What do you say, we grab our sleeping son and get out of here.” he grins against your neck as you sigh, melting into him. “Well Husband, I think that sounds like a great Idea.” you say leaning into his kiss.

You grab your son who was still sleeping and head home. You undress Noah from his little suit that matched Bucky’s and place him into his crib. You and Bucky looking down at the sweet little sleeping Blonde haired blue eyed boy. You turn on the night light, and close the door. The first time getting a good look at your new husband. “I feel like I have barely seen you today.” you whisper. “I know.” he says, kissing you gently. You two held each. “Hey James.” you say looking up at him. “Yeah Doll.” he says looking down at you with so much love, like he always had. “Thank you for being the best husband, dad and friend that I could have ever asked for. You didn't have to take care of me and Noah but you did and you never ever complained. You loved me always and I don’t think I tell you enough how much I appreciate you, for taking care of us, for loving us.” you whisper. He tucks his long fingers under your chin making you look up at him.

Your eyes meet his gorgeous blue ones. “There is no place I would rather be. Being with you, and having Noah has been everything to me and I wouldn’t change a single thing. Having you as my wife is something I could only dream of. You and Noah changed my life and I couldn’t be more grateful to you. I love you so much baby.” he says leaning down to kiss you. You both fall into bed, laughing and giggling. The perfect day, with the perfect man.

Two Years had passed now and your little family was growing. You were 5 months pregnant with a little girl Ivy Sophia Barnes. Noah was 2 and running around like crazy keeping both you and Bucky on your toes. “Noah August get back here.” you laugh as you chase him through the kitchen his little giggles filling the kitchen. Bucky was standing over the stove stirring some concoction he was making for dinner. He looked out of the kitchen window, he thought he saw someone standing there, a ghost from the past but he knew it couldn’t be.

Outside of this gorgeous white house, with a wrap around porch, toys in the yard stood Steve Rogers. As he looked in through the kitchen window a scene played out in front of him that made his heart ache. Steve had spent his time with Peggy and soon he had come to realize he had made a very big mistake. Being with her was not exactly what he thought it would be. He missed you, he missed his friends, he missed his old life. So he decided to find a time loop and go back to the present day, hoping to pick up where he left off but was surprised by what he found.

As he looks in he sees you with a toddler on your hip and another on the way, Bucky his best friend with his arms wrapped around you as he reaches to grab some plates from the cabinet above where you stood. The life that he always wanted, that he craved being played out in front of him. “You wanted them to be happy, you wanted him to take care of her, he kept his promise, he loved her when you couldn’t” a voice echoes in his head. Steve moves from the window as he sees Bucky look out, almost noticing him.

Steve leans against the wall struggling to decide if he should ruin their happy life together, or if he should just disappear like he was never there and let them live their lives. He decides he wants to see you and knocks on the door. A small blonde-haired blue eyed little boy opened the door. Steve stared down at the tiny child, and it was like he was looking into a mirror, he swallowed hard, could this little boy be his son. “Uncle Steve!” the little boy shouts wrapping his little arms around Steve’s leg. Steve greets the small boy with a smile. “Hi there buddy.” he says. The same blue eyes as his staring back at him. “Noah How many times do I have to tell you about opening the door..” Bucky stopped in his tracks as he saw Steve standing in the door. “Holy shit.” he says. Steve Smiled. “Language Buck.” he whispers. Bucky couldn't help but laugh.

“James, who’s at the door?” you ask as you turn the corner. “Steve.” you gasp. “Mama look it’s Uncle Steve.” Noah Calls to you. “I see that sweetie” you say as you scoop up your young son in your arms. The three of you stare at each other silently for what seemed like a lifetime. “I’ll let you two talk a minute.” Buck says as he takes Noah from your arms. You give him a look like please don’t leave me. But he knew you needed this.

Bucky gives you a gentle kiss and sweet I love you before he leaves the room. You swallow hard, your heart racing. He looked as good as he ever did. “What are you doing here Steve?” you ask, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to escape your eyes. Years of mourning the loss of this man and here he was at your front door like nothing ever happened. You led him to the front porch so you could sit down. You sit and he sits beside you. “Talk to me Steve.” you say arms holding your pregnant belly as you try to get comfortable.

Inside Bucky was playing 20 questions with Noah who hadn’t shut up about Steve’s arrival. “Dad, why is mama so sad? Is uncle Steve going to stay with us? Dad, I thought Uncle Steve was gone? Dad was mama crying? Dad, will Uncle Steve show me his Captain America shield?” “Son I don’t know, we will have to just wait and see what happens okay.” Bucky tells his young curious son. He had no intention of letting the little boy get his hopes up. Bucky’s heart raced as he wished he knew what was being said outside on the porch.

“I'm sorry Y|N.” Steve begins. You swallow. Here we go. “I'm afraid I made a huge mistake.” he confessed. “I thought a life with Peggy is what I wanted but it turns out it was nothing like I imagined it would be, she wasn’t you.” Steve whispers. Oh no, here come the tears. “Steve.” you manage. He didn’t have the right to do this. He chose what he chose and it wasn’t you. He didn’t deserve an explanation. You stood from the porch swing. You couldn’t do this.

“You know what Steve, I went through hell after you left. I didn’t even want to be alive. I hated you and myself and the whole fucking universe for doing this to us, to me. I needed you and you weren’t there, but James, James was. And he loved me when I thought I was the most unlovable person because of you, he chose me when I couldn’t even choose myself. So please don’t tell me you’ve made a mistake because it’s all too late.” you say as you reach for the door looking away from him, trying to run away as fast as you could back to the safety that was James. That was until Steve’s words stopped you dead in your tracks.

“Noah is my son, isn't he?” the words stung in your ears. There is a thundering silence between you before you answer. “Yes Steve, Noah is your son but only by blood, James is his dad and nothing.” he interrupts you as he stands to reach for you but you pull away.”If I would have known.” he says. “If you would have known you would have still chosen Peggy, Steve you and I both know that. You had your mind made up then and there was no changing it. So please just let us be happy.” you beg him.

But you can’t stop the tears anymore and you leave Steve standing on the front porch and you head to your room slamming the door behind you. Bucky comes out with Noah. “I'm sorry.” Steve says “This isn’t what I wanted.” he adds. Bucky looks at him. Tempted to torture him by leaving him in a room with Noah and his millions of questions but he knew he probably shouldn’t do that. “I know Steve. I get it, us together wasn’t what you expected when you decided to come back. You hoped you could just pick up where you left off with her, like she waited around for you to decide Peggy wasn’t really what you wanted. You should have seen her, Steve, she was heart broken and there for a while I didn’t think she was going to survive without you but she did and she’s the strongest woman I’ve ever known. You can’t blame us for being together. It just happened we needed each other after you left and.” Bucky stopped, he didn’t owe Steve anything. “And you should know that the decision for you to be part of Noah’s life is going to ultimately be up to her, whatever she choses.” Bucky reminds him. Steve nods. “Now do you want to meet Noah, word of caution he has A LOT of questions.” Bucky Chuckles. “I think I can handle it.” Steve laughs. Bucky shakes his head. “I dunno.”

He left Noah and Steve in the living room while he goes to check on you. He knocks on the door. “Baby it’s me.” Bucky calls. “Come in.” you say through sobs. Bucky opens the door slowly seeing you crying on the bed. “Oh baby,” he whispers, coming to you, holding you in his arms. “I can’t do this Buck, I can’t go through this again. I almost lost everything last time and I just can’t.” Bucky kisses your lips. “Shhh baby. It’s going to be okay. I don’t think his intentions are to ruin anything. He made a mistake babe, we made it, you and me. I don't think we should hold it against him but like i told him the choice to let him in Noah’s life is going to be up to you. If you want him to go I’ll make him go. You tell me what to do babe. I’ll support you in whatever you choose.” he says, kissing you slowly.

You can’t help but smile. “I love you James Barnes. You have always been my rock and I think Steve deserves to get to know his son, but on our terms.” you say. Bucky smiles. “I'm sure Noah has talked him to death anyways so we probably won't have to deal with it.'' Bucky Chuckled. You laugh. “We probably should go rescue him.” you say. Bucky wipes your tears and kisses you on the forehead. “Everything is going to alright Doll, I promise.” you squeeze his hand, and head out to the living room to find Steve and Noah sitting together on the floor, Noah chatting away and Steve just nodding and laughing. Bucky heard you sigh. As you look out at Steve with your little boy. A sight you had always dreamed of. Bucky began to worry. Was his marriage about to be in trouble?

“Steve, you can stay for dinner if you want, it seems like you and Noah have a lot to talk about.” you finally say, you hadn’t noticed the instant fear in Bucky’s eyes, the fear that he was about to lose everything. You walked into the kitchen and set another table setting. Steve stayed for dinner and then played with Noah for a while before bedtime. “Thank you for letting me have this chance.” Steve says. “I want Noah to get the chance to know you, but please don’t make him any promises you can’t keep Steve, I’m begging you. Our family has been through enough.” you say with a sigh. “I'm not going to ruin it this time. I appreciate you and Buck even giving me a chance.” Steve says as he gets ready to leave. “Hey Steve.” you say. He turns back up the porch. “Yeah.” he says, his perfect blue eyes meeting yours. “Here’s Bucky’s number. If you want to see Noah Just call, we'll arrange it. I want you to be a part of his life Steve. He doesn't deserve to never know the kind of man his dad is because we were idiots.” you say handing him a small note with Bucky’s number on it. “Thank you Y|N” he says. “Also I'm pretty sure Buck is over the moon to have his best friend back.” you smile. Steve can’t help the smile that crosses his lips. “Thank you.” he nods and he heads out to his truck.

You stand out on the porch as you watch him leave. Knowing your simple little life, just became more complicated. You sigh as you head inside. Bucky had finished up the dishes and was sitting on the back patio. You knew today had to have been a lot for him. You walk out to him. “Hey you, let's go to bed. It’s been a long day.” you look down at him as he smiles up at you. You could tell something was on his mind but you didn’t press him you knew he would tell you whenever he was ready. He took your hand and you led him up to bed. The pair of you lay there in silence, you were tucked tightly into Bucky’s arms, listening to his heartbeat. The slow and steady rise and fall of his chest.

You hear Bucky sigh. You turn to him. “What is it, Buck?” you ask him, turning in his arms so you can look at him. There is silence again. “Baby, talk to me.” you say your fingers caressing his cheek. He melts into your touch. “Do you still love him?” he whispers, he can’t believe he’s saying this. He knows the answer. But still he can’t help that it’s on his mind. You look over at your sweet husband.

“Of course I still love him James, I’ll always love him in some sort of way he gave me Noah, but you, you James Buchanan Barnes you gave me love and light and happiness, loved me when I thought I was absolutely unloveable, you saw me when I was invisible babe you gave me everything, including this sweet little girl we have on the way, who is going to be such a Daddy’s girl, and never have a boyfriend till she’s 45.” you pause because Bucky was finally laughing. “You got that right.” he chuckled as he rubbed his hands over your growing belly.. “You gave me everything James and not even Steven Grant Rogers could change that. You are my Forever Bucky Barnes and I hope you know that.” you whisper into his lips. “I do know that baby, I'm sorry I just got a little insecure.” you smile down at your husband. “Baby you have nothing to worry about. I promise. It’s you and me forever and always.” you kiss his lips then down his chest as you disappear under the blanket. “And I promise to prove it to you every day if I have too.” you whisper. You hear him groan and you know your distraction is working.

The next few months you saw Steve more and more. Noah was loving having his “Uncle” around. What could be cooler than knowing captain america right. Bucky and Steve were getting their friendship back and finally everyone was settling into their life of having Steve back. Someday when Noah was older and you knew he would understand you’d tell him the truth about Steve but for now you’d let him have his Heroes. Baby Ivy was Born and Bucky was over the moon, and that sweet little girl had your husband wrapped around her tiny little finger. Somehow You, Bucky, Noah, Baby Ivy and Steve managed to work out in this weird new family dynamic, finally getting a happily ever after that everyone deserved.

The End.