grieving-me

[grieving-me]

Pic is by @ghostyprince

Edited by me

[grieving-me]

Megtévesztés

Lassan a bizalmadba fogadsz.

Mi baj lehet? - gondolod,

hiszen ragadozó vagy én pedig préda.

Mire ráébredsz a hibádra,

addigra fogaim mélyen a nyakad puha bőrébe vájnak.

Feltépik a húst, ordítasz.

Ragaszkodsz hozzá hogy amit teszek helytelen, megbocsájthatatlan.

Még is reszketve nyúlsz utánam, karmaiddal felszakítva régi sebeimet.

Bűn cseppen a padlóra, vörösre festi lábunk alatt a kopott parkettát.

Felnevetsz, mintha élveznéd a kínt amit egymásnak okozunk.

#poems and quotes #hungarian #magyar vers #vers #szabadvers #aesthetic #poetry #writing #dark poetry #writing practice #creative writing #elbaszott szerelmesvers #románc #túl sok krimit olvastam #fordítás #átírás #gyakorlás #kreatív írás

[grieving-me]

Hanahaki

I wish I could send you the flowers blooming in my lungs. Carnations of purples and greens that make me suffocate at the thought of you.

I wonder if you'd keep the petals once they're stained with my blood or throw them away in disgust.

Perhaps you'd even return them if the carnations bloomed pink, yet I cannot change who I am and wouldn't wish to.

What if-s be damned

You can just pretend that your laugh causes no hitch in my breath and when I say your name, I don't choke on it.

#aesthetic #poems and quotes #poetry #writing #dark poetry #romance #writing practice #creative writing #flower language #flowers #hanahaki #hanahaki disease #love poem #love poems to my friends #I am aroace for the record #also a hopeless romantic #yes it can coexist #I would never change a thing between us tbh #I just want my love accepted is all #carnations #oscar wilde #green carnation #gay love #love between two men #unconditional love #unrequited love

[grieving-me]

Sweet Deception

Let me be your undoing

Slowly

You'll become mine

I gained your trust

Thought you were the predator and I the perfect prey

By the time you notice your error-

My teeth are already sinking into the soft skin of your neck

Tearing into flesh

Vicious, unforgiving

I might like to suffer but I give as good as I get

When I'm underestimated

Sadistic joy

I know you like it,

Your laugh rings true

Let me show you

how true predation looks like by the hands of prey

#aesthetic #poems and quotes #poetry #writing #romance #writing practice #creative writing #dark poetry #potentially shizaya #this is kinky shit so #beware

[grieving-me]

Background Noise

The harmony created by soft jazz music and the murmurs of patrons sets the atmosphere at the bar.

Here I feel like I'm allowed to fade into the background while also being a part of something bigger than myself.

#bar #poetry #kind of #creative writing #aesthetic #writing practice #poems and quotes #writing #romance #my stuff

[grieving-me]

Maybe it's me who dreams of unrequited love...

Sometimes I dream of unrequited love, the familiarity of it's pain so easy and predictable.

To me, being loved is a phantom pain, except my leg is very much there and yet I still feel the absence of it, hurting

It's as if I can't believe it's there or maybe I'm preparing myself for it to be taken away.

Being loved is like carrying something delicate while I can barely carry myself.

Sometimes, I trip

And even if what I carry remains unscatched, my heart breaks with every impact.

I wish I could just let myself be loved without being crushed under the weight of it.

#poetry? #not realy but #poetic #i guess #inspired by dead can dance #dead can dance #aesthetic #dark poetry #writing #sketch #not finished #poems and quotes #mine #writing practice #raw #short draft #i love being loved i promise #I'm dramatic #dramatique #romance #title is from dead can dance #music

[grieving-me]

Violence

You said you hate violence, yet every time you smiled at me I felt violated, torn open mercilessly and thrown at your feet like a black sheep, about to be sacrificed to the gods.

Every time you laughed, something shattered inside me and I could almost hear my bones breaking under the force of it.

It made me want to break you, too.

I used to think feelings were making you weak, that was until I realised you vield them as your only weapon.

Sure, I knew love can be violent. Before I met you I imagined it as a knife in the heart, being twisted every once in a while.

But I could have never imagined the kind of violance yours came with.

Some dogs go straight for the throat, but you choose to slowly peel away the flesh and bones to get to my heart instead, gently wrapping your hand around it, as if it was something precious.

Then it gave away, like a branch gives away it's ripe fruit, almost as if it was always supposed to fall into your hand

Knowing that, you took a bite out of it, red blood dripping down your chin and I tought - hell, you've never looked so beautiful

In that moment I would have loved to give you my heart, let you devour all of it but I was too scared.

Because whenever you gave me love or took it, it felt like someone rearranging my insides.

So I chose to hurt you instead.

Oh but wasn't it beautiful? How you cried, and begged as if you were anything but a beast who would rip me apart the moment I let it get close.

After, the hate in your voice would almost make me cathartic. It felt like being put back together.

I became addicted to it- to hurting and being hurt.

To your smile and laugh, never directed at me anymore-somehow hurting evne more and all the more delicious for it.

Oh how you'd scream my name from rooftops with sweet desperation.

As if asking me to "please come back" but also to warn "stay away from me or I'll kill you."

A plea and a threat. That's what we are to eachother.

#can be read as shizaya #shizaya #poem #violent love #love poem #romance #dark romance #dark poetry #writing practice #dark aesthetic #gothic #desperation #desperate

[grieving-me]

Interrupted

The bar is crowded with people,while soft jazz music is playing in the background. It's a busy Friday night, and I'm sitting alone at the corner, nurnsing my drink. It's some sweet cocktail I don't remember the name of.

It's been a shit day or rather it's been a shit week, months- years even and I am so sick and tired of it all.

So I'm sitting there, thinking about my life, and how little of it I even lived. How most of it was spent trying to survive.

"For what? " I ask myself as I drown the rest of my drink.

I can't seem to find a compelling reason, or a good excuse for it anymore.

The thing is, I often dream of death

Yet I don't see him as some scythe wielding dark figure in the dark or as some hungry beast preying on innocent souls. It's the opposite, really.

When I dream of him I dream of gentle hands, kind eyes and tender kisses that make my pain fade into sweet nothingness-

The atmosohere in the bar changes and I look up, my train of tough interrupted.

#death #aesthetic #writing #writing practice #jazz #aestheitcs #short story #short draft

[grieving-me]

Spring

The scent of blooming flowers were overwhelming the day I met him.

I remember-

How the leaves trembled by the gentle caress of the wind as it passed through the forest quietly

The trees, letting some sunlight in, it's touch warm and delicate on my skin as I lay on the grass

Unbothered

And perhaps unprepared to meet him there.

His presence was so out of place, I expected the scenery to change for a moment

The wind picking up, tearing the leaves apart, the ray of sunshine dissapearing and leaving me cold, while the flowers wither and die, the scent of them lingering in the air.

yet nothing changed

I could still feel the warmth of the sun, hear the hum of the wind, and see the different colours of the wildflowers blooming.

His presence was so out of place, yet he fit right in somehow.

I've never seen anyone quite like him.

He moved elegantly towards me, careful not to step on the flowers, with the smallest hint of a smile playing on his lips.

His eyes were so light and warm that the sunlight almost felt dull and cold in comparison.

A pale hand reached out for me and I took it without a second thought, lacing our fingers together.

The responding smile he gave me made him seem Eternal

But he was, after all,

Eternal

As he always had been.

"One does not expect to meet Death in Spring"

I said playfully, and the last thing I felt was soft lips on mine before I drifted off to sleep.

-Tea

#poems and quotes #my poems #spring #death #aesthetic #poetry #quotes #dark poetry #romance #love poems #love poems to death

[grieving-me]

The sea

As night fell, your gentle blue colors changed to midnight black

Your waters are cold and foreign, if I were to immerse myself in you now, I would be swept away by your wild waves

I could cry and struggle against them with all my might,

Yet I would still sink

for my heart, heavy with ice, would draw me down into the deep

At Last, I would choke out

"I love you"

Those would be my last words to you, whom I love the most,

Who ultimately causes me my demise

#aesthetic #sea #poetry #angst #could be read as #shizaya #orihara izaya #heiwajima shizuo #death #poetsandwriters #writing #creative writing #nature #angsty #dark poetry #romantic poem

[grieving-me]

Death of a Prophet

red,

red,

red.

Lies

lost in red eyes

waiting to emerge as truth

only for it to be denied

red blood

hot-in your weins

cold-spilled on the pavement

what a waste

your truth-

I'll never know

red,

red,

red.

your blood on my hands.

-Tea

#aesthetic #poems #poems and quotes #my poems #poetry #poetsandwriters #writing #orihara izaya #durarara #shizaya #orihara izaya inspired #heiwajima shizuo

[grieving-me]

Celebration

I was born on a harsh winter night.

The snow was falling, and I cried out in pain, so cold and scared or life.

My mother held me in her arms, tired happiness in her eyes. I stopped crying then, feeling a bit of warmth for the first time, not knowing yet that it would never be enough.

When I first met Death I cried, clinging to the idea of life as if it didn't feel worse, the longer I was alive.

It took me years to realise, that there was no place for me here-I wanted to go.

Meeting Death the second time, I was hopeful.

"Is it my time yet?" I asked, only receiving a simple but soft "No."

Then, I bargained.

"Please come for me when the nights are warmer, when nature comes alive, that's when I want to go."

It took him some time to answer, looking into my eyes, searching for something. Then he nodded his head and left.

The third time I met Death, I smiled.

If I could do one more thing I would tell my loved ones "Don't you cry."

I want them to smile at me as they lower me into the ground, to celebrate as if today was my wedding day.

As I take Death's hand in mine I notice that they're warmer than I ever felt when I was alive.

"Let's go home" He says and I turn my back to them all, to the life I was forced to live. Leaving behind that feeling that never left me alone, now clinging to my corpse, a much better place for such coldness to be.

#daily poem #aesthetic #tea #edits #dark aesthetic #death #poetscommunity #poems and quotes

[grieving-me]

Sunflowers

Sunflowers bloom in my lungs

It's getting hard to breathe yet-

I don't have the heart to rip them out

Not when,

Sunflowers remind me of you

and the home we made together

I realise

I'd rather die than to forget the way you make me feel

Understood, and like I belong

To forget the softness of your hair and the kindness in your eyes

Is unimaginable

I cough up yellow petals splattered with blood and I think-

"I'll remember you until the day I die"

I paint sunflower fields with red skies-

You tell me it's pretty, yet you look sad

I have to cover my mouth as another cough shakes my body

You hold my hand then, and it stops for a little while

Then-

you start to tell me more often how much you love me

When you can't, you show me, with the way you sit with me in silence

It makes breathing around you easier

The sunflowers in my lungs are gone

In my heart, they remain

-Tea

#poetry #diary

[grieving-me]

its so funny isn't it? how quiet it gets when you're dying and nobody wants to be around to witness it