holdmyowos

[holdmyowos]

Antecedent 

tags: AFAB reader (referred to as ‘mama’), established (kinda toxic) relationship, canon divergence: secret family au (post arrest), spoilers for touya backstory and chapters 349 onwards, hurt/comfort, original child character (‘Kaiyo’; he is your shared biological child), no reference to readers quirk, mentions of canon attempted suicide and canon child abuse, themes of generational trauma, family feels, todoroki family centric, villain rehabilitation, dealing with trauma and recovery, second chances

wc: 16.5k

You shouldn’t have come. 

There are crowds of press, packed so tightly that getting any closer would be futile, all of them a cacophony of questions and accusations. You’re standing atop a small brick wall encasing a flower bed of hyacinths outside of the hospital, a head above the sea of cameras, watching as a group of heroes — Endeavor and Shouto included — slowly lead Touya towards an armoured van. 

Relief floods through your system for a few precious seconds, overwhelming the hopelessness in your stomach. He was alive. 

One little rumour from a patient in your clinic, an unsure whisper of I heard they’re moving that Dabi kid from the ICU to villain corrections had led you here. It’d been two long, devastating weeks since the final battle. Two weeks with no word from him, two weeks of reading every article you could find about the ‘elusive first son of Endeavor’ and learning nothing. 

The media blackout that came thereafter was the only thing that kept you hoping that he was okay. The Todoroki family, though disastrous and complicated, held some influence in Japan. And though Touya would vehemently try to reject it, they could not allow their surviving first son to be fed to the wolves. 

And wolves they were; yelling obscenities and insults with spitting anger. Legal justice was one thing, but the court of public opinion was another thing in its entirety, a fragile and fickle thing that held the power to sway even government policy. 

Kaiyo stirs in your arms at the noise and you soothe him, rubbing your hand along his back until he quietens, then you tuck away the stray red hair that has fallen loose from beneath his hat. Truthfully you never intended to bring him here, but given recent events it has been hard for him to separate from you, cheeks still slightly pink from his earlier tantrum. 

It’d been damn near impossible to prevent the four year old from learning about the broadcast a few months prior, paired with the sudden less than frequent visits from his father, he knew something was deeply wrong and he didn’t understand it. 

Touya is scanning the crowds lazily, expression impassive to everyone but you. You could see was exhausted, more gaunt than you last remember, but his disinterest only fed into everyone’s fury. 

“Villain!” they’re bellowing at him, fingers pointed and words sharp, “don’t you care about the suffering you’ve caused?” 

He cares, you think, more than anyone could ever understand. 

You cannot look away as Shouto lingers by his brother, the other sidekicks giving them a wide berth. Endeavor is tucked away beside the van speaking with an armed officer, his shoulders hunched forwards in an uncharacteristic manner. He appeared to be ashamed. 

Good, the thought bitter and weighing heavily in your chest. 

Touya shuffles along obediently, wrists out and pressed together against his pelvis. Quirk suppressing cuffs, you assumed. They were bulky, and no doubt uncomfortable. You hold Kaiyo a little closer as you ache, distantly wondering if he’s cold without his quirk. 

After today it was entirely possible you’d never see him again, that your son would grow up without his father.

Nobody knew of your connection to him, something both of you doubled down on after your pregnancy came to light. There would be no way for you to visit or contact him now without suspicion being cast upon your little family. Law enforcement will without a doubt assume you were aware of his intentions, and worst case they would believe you to have played a part in them yourself. 

He couldn’t allow that to happen. And yet, here you were. 

You just needed one last look at him to know he was breathing, living flesh and blood, to know that the only thing you would have to mourn was your relationship. More than anything you needed him to be ok. And he does look different – better, in some ways. The new skin grafts hug his jawbone comfortably, and the rings that once kept him together are gone. 

Being alive meant he still had a chance. 

Touya tilts his chin up, squinting against the flare of the sun, and the corner of his mouth crooks into a smile. It’s the irony, you think, as your own lips twitch. The heavens should have opened by now, rain should be soaking your clothes to your skin, influenced by the utter misery flooding throughout your body. Instead, the day is bright.

As if he can feel it, he turns, and his gaze immediately falls on your figure in the distance. You’re close enough to see the abject fury flit across his features, eyes wide and unblinking as they stare back into your own. 

The hand you have rested against Kaiyo’s back slides up over his hat to cradle his head, his small fingers curled tightly into the fabric of your shirt, drawing Touya’s attention to the boy. 

To his son. 

The anger dissolves like sea foam, it washes away to give space for his grief. This was it, the final goodbye. You couldn’t find it in yourself to hate him for his choices, because it was something he had told you he’d do from the start. 

In hindsight, you can only curse your naivety. 

You’d met Touya a few months after your eighteenth birthday while shadowing one of the senior nurses in the clinic. The place was small, run down and barely funded, but it was valuable work and they were kind enough to give you the extra experience.

He’d been brought in unconscious by a concerned passerby. The skin of his arms has been rough, raised and pale pink, inflamed where they’d been burnt. Barely nineteen at the time, it was nothing compared to what he would do to himself years later. 

“Watch him until he wakes up,” they’d told you, and you did so dutifully until his eyes flew open in alarm. 

Back then his identity as Dabi was makeshift, fresh and unrefined. With the glue still wet between the cracks it was unsurprising that he would slip. Touya. That was how he introduced himself to you on that first day, under the hazy influence of painkillers.

The memory stuck with you throughout your relationship. You’d see it now and then — you’d see Touya plainly behind the veil. Sometimes you said his name as if it was a dare, and he’d hated it so much that he loved you. With you there was no need to exert effort in maintaining his bravado, he could just be. And that was dangerous, or so he’d insisted.

He would disappear for weeks at a time. He always had a myriad of excuses, from expressing concern for your safety to spitting that you were nothing but a good fuck. You could no longer count on one hand the amount of times you’d heard the ‘I’m a villain, you shouldn’t be with me’ speech. 

Touya would leave, and yet you’d still come home to a receipt on the counter, or to your clean sheets unmade. It was laughable, and you loved him. 

The pregnancy was… unexpected. Difficult. If his emotions were a switch on the wall, your growing baby was a finger flicking it up and down incessantly. Mornings full of nausea and nights full of reassurance. You offered him an out, a door that would always be left open, and he refused it. 

Stay and be a bad father. Leave and be a bad father. Those were the only options he thought existed for him. And maybe you should’ve believed him when he told you Kaiyo’s birth wouldn’t change a thing about the path he’d set for himself. 

But you couldn’t accept it. Not as he’d held your boy in his arms, not as the apprehension and fear in his eyes softened into love. Not as he’d laughed and told you, “guess I needed to give one good thing to the world before I die”. 

Sometimes the adoration would become overcast with anguish. There were days he couldn’t even look at Kaiyo because of how much he loved him, reminded only of how little he had been loved by his own family — but he never let Kaiyo see it. 

“Just because he’s too young to understand now doesn’t mean he won’t later”.

The only small mercy is that your son remains asleep, blissfully unaware of what he is losing, and unperturbed by the noise around him. His light, shallow breaths against the skin of your neck are a warm comfort. 

Touya can’t say anything for fear it will draw attention to you both, and you think that alone is punishment enough. 

Shouto stands beside him in silence, surveying the surroundings and eventually following Touya’s line of sight to you. Instinctively you step backwards into the soft soil of the flowerbed, your thoughts offering an apology to the hyacinth flattened beneath your shoe. 

With the realisation that his youngest brother has noticed you, Touya turns and lunges in Shouto’s direction with his teeth bared. It could almost be comical if not for the unpleasant murmurings of the crowd. In the short moment that Shouto is distracted, you jump down from the brick wall and slip away. 

You don’t look back. 

A small part of you had hoped your role in the story had ended, that you now might just move forward as best you can. Instead, you were shadowed by an overwhelming sense of dread everywhere you went. There was little to do besides work and walk, yet you couldn’t help but feel watched. The cashier at your local market, your neighbour, Kaiyo’s teacher, the food vendor on the corner; with just one look you can’t help but to think that they must know, that any day now this false peace will collapse onto you like a tonne of bricks. 

The anxiety keeps you up at night, counting the glowing stars stuck to the bedroom ceiling to pass the hours, tension threading itself into your muscle fibres. Kaiyo was warm where he laid curled at your side, but the loneliness — in all its violent emptiness — made the night colder. Despite it all, you missed Touya, your eyes still searching for him across the futon. 

Remnants of him are still scattered throughout the apartment. Should anyone come looking, there would be plenty of him to find. He’d hated having his picture taken, yet always gave in to you quickly, and you never needed to ask him for anything twice. There were photographs of his lips pressed to your hair, of his smile tucked against your neck, of his arms holding the baby; hand cradled around the crown of his head, his purpled scars a stark contrast to Kaiyo’s soft skin. 

He had treated fatherhood like he was a dying man, a clear red flag that you can only now see with hindsight. He had spoiled the two of you with his time and effort, no matter how uncomfortable it made him, because he knew any day might be his last. Touya was born with inherited wounds that were left to fester. To him, his failure was terminal, and no amount of love would undo that. 

The wood panels are cool beneath the soles of your feet as you pad your way through to the bedroom, bending at your knees to pick up stray toys and socks left throughout the hallway. There’s still an ache in your cheeks, the strain of smiling too long through all the tears and questions from your son that morning before school. You wish you had answers. 

Your shared room looks much emptier with the large futon hung over the balcony to dry. You find a small star in the centre of the room that has fallen from the ceiling. Held between your fingers in the daylight it is dull, a pale yellow, much different to the green glow it emits at night. Touya had bought them for Kaiyo after a series of bad dreams, lifting the boy onto his shoulders and letting him stick them wherever he pleased. 

Another piece of him. As you are slipping the star into your pant pocket, you hear a knock on the front door. You weren’t expecting anyone — rent had been paid, Kaiyo was with his sitter and your neighbours were at work. It sounds again, reverberating throughout the apartment, and the soft hair on your arm lifts in anticipation. 

There is a sense of embarrassment somewhere within you as you creep towards the entryway, keeping your body low and your steps light. You can hear muted, muffled voices through the cheap wood, fingertips carefully lifting the peep hole cover to look through. 

You hold your breath, stunned. There are two women just an arms length from you, both of them beautiful and horrifyingly familiar to you. Rei, Touya’s mother, stands with her head held high despite the nervous fiddling of her hands. Fuyumi, his sister, is clasping the strap of her shoulder bag with a white knuckled grip. 

“Mother, are you sure this is the place?” she asks, her eyes darting anxiously over the surroundings, “maybe Shouto made the wrong assumption”.

Rei is lovely, you think, even with the air of sadness  Her smile is gentle, and her expression softly determined. “The worst outcome to this is that he misunderstood the situation,” she replies, “but if this person is important to Touya then they’re important to me”. 

Fuyumi nods, shifting her weight between each foot. You inhale shakily through your nose, blinking back the dryness in your eye as you continue to watch through the lense. 

“He said… there was a child”. 

Your forehead bumps against the door as you startle, cursing under your breath, lungs tightening as the dread floods your system. The two women freeze alongside you, observing the door cautiously, glancing at one another in silent conversation. 

“If you’re there, we aren’t here to hurt you,” Rei lifts her hand, and rests it against the door in a show of reassurance, “I believe you know my eldest son. We only want to talk”. 

The push and pull of guilt, relief and fear forces the weight of your body to sink forward, drawn to the sincerity in her voice. There is no amount of time or distance that would dilute the loyalty you felt towards Touya. Letting them in would be a betrayal. 

“Please,” Fuyumi’s voice is wet, thickening with tears, “he’s my older brother. He’s refusing to talk about you or— or anything! We just want to—”

Rei turns to soothe her, and you’re reminded of your own parenthood. If something ever happened to Kaiyo you might just scorch the earth in your attempts to find him. It’s hard to swallow the swell in your throat as you watch his sister turn into the touch, seeking that comfort. 

Touya had loved his mother, a difficult thing for him to stomach but true all the same. He’d grieved the attention he never received from her, but you knew he didn’t blame her, and it is that which leads your hand to the door handle. 

Time feels like it’s in suspension. To see them standing so clearly before you without the film of dirt from the glass is still a shock to process. Behind you is a home filled to the brim with evidence of your own criminal involvement, the first photograph they’ll see hung in the hallway is of their grandson.

Kaiyo deserved his chance at having a family. 

“Please come in,” your fingers are trembling where they sit in your pocket, curled around the divots in the star. Please forgive me, you think. 

You step backwards to allow them through, both accepting with a short bow and a quiet thank you. It’s unnerving and tense, their stares lingering along the walls and shelves, the mother and daughter now hand in hand as they take a seat on your couch. 

“Would…” a blunt point of the star sinks into the thickest part of your palm, the sensation acting as your tether, “…can I get you anything to drink?” 

“Some tea would be wonderful,” Rei concedes, her voice full of earnest and so light it’s almost wistful. As you steep the leaves you can’t help but get the feeling she knew you needed more time.

The ceramic cups are old, stained with time and well loved. You fill them with hot water, tendrils of steam billowing warmth across your face, and place them atop the coffee table before kneeling onto the floor. 

Beneath your mug is a clumsily drawn cat, the marker permanently stained into the wood. There are others, too, little marks left by mistake. Faint lines of kanji where the ink had seeped through the paper, hearts and stick figures and stars. Rei reaches her hand out to trace a finger along them, lips pressed thinly in a sad smile. 

“I apologise for our unexpected intrusion,” she tells you, “I’m Himura Rei and this is my daughter, Todoroki Fuyumi".

“Believe it or not I’ve been waiting for someone to find us,” your hands wrap tightly around the hot cup, incognisant of the sting to your skin, “it was beginning to eat away at me a little bit”.

“Then Shouto was right,” Fuyumi mirrors you, keeping her voice soothing and calm as she speaks even as her eyes are tearful. You recall Touya telling you she was a teacher, and you can see why. 

“You did know him,” she says, “it looks like he spent… a lot of time here”.

You hear yourself laugh breathlessly at her tiptoeing of the subject, “he practically lived here until he decided to join the league. After that he stayed away for our safety, I suppose”. 

She nods, seeming to accept your answer, glancing then to her mother in a silent plea for assistance. “Could you tell us what he was like?” there’s a mellow, apologetic tone in Rei’s words, but to whom she was apologising you didn’t know.

“Could you tell us all the things we missed?”

So you sip your drink to smooth the dryness in your throat and it’s scalding against the roof of your tongue, and you tell them everything you know. 

After your first meeting you’d thought about him every day for a week, haunted by the intensity in his eyes and the marks on his skin. You had talked and talked and he had done nothing but listen. While you thought you'd never see him again it wasn’t long at all until he came back to your dingy clinic, this time of his own accord, in need of painkillers and suturing. 

He’d gone straight to you, rudely bypassing the doctors with any qualification in the ward, and shoved some money into the palm of your hand. He was still young, his attempts at carrying himself like a man seemed more like puppetry to you, but still you entertained it and attended to his wounds. 

“Since I’m still not fully trained you’ll need to sign this,” you remember holding out the clipboard to him, your supervisor lingering by the curtains, the impatient tap of her foot echoing in your ears. 

“Touya—” 

Back then his aversion to hearing that name was much greater. Every time it’d passed through your lips was as if you had pressed your thumb on a fresh bruise, and he’d lash out in kind. 

“Don’t call me that here!” 

“Why? Are you running from something?” 

He’d laughed at you with eyes that glittered like he was about to cry, but the tears never came, they never could. “Running implies that someone is looking for me,” his skin pulled uncomfortably taut as he smiled, “there’s no one to run from”.

“He dyed his hair black soon after that,” the mug held between your trembling hands grows cold, your tea mostly untouched and leaving a faint brown ring around the ceramic, “sometimes he would visit me all soaked with rain, and the colour would run down the back of his neck”. 

You pause every so often to offer them a chance to ask questions, but the two women remain quiet, listening raptly to your story. Their genuine trust and willingness to believe you bore a sense of unease, or perhaps guilt that you’d had him to yourself while they’d mourned. 

“Then things eventually progressed to… more,” even with the air of melancholy, you couldn’t help but take refuge in the normalcy of being timid around your partner's family, sheepish as you recount your relationship. 

“Did you love him?” Rei asks, and though not unkind, her question makes you feel unspeakably lonely. 

Loving Touya had felt nothing like a free fall, there was no moment in which you woke up and realised your feelings. It’d been no great feat to love him, no grand prize or climax at the end of a long battle; you saw all the worst parts of him and it didn’t change a thing. Even with all his flaws your feelings only deepened until they hollowed you out. 

Despite it all, you had walked into it knowingly, each step forward towards him a purposeful choice. 

You have only your own hunger to thank. Your eighteen year old self had been fiercely persistent, and however much he denied it, you knew he was drawn to your sympathy. Even though he was never entirely honest you pursued him with the small truths he did offer, motivated by the selfish wish to see him happy. 

“Yes,” in sickness and violence, in struggle and fear; you’d loved him through holidays and birthdays, through time spent apart and nights spent alone, “I love him”. 

“And the little boy, is he your son?”

Kaiyo. An unexpected yet happy accident. Named after forgiveness and the spitting image of his father, a red haired cherub, you both already knew the answer. “You can say it, Ms. Himura,” your smile strained as you run your thumb along the handle of your mug, “he’s our son. Mine and his”. 

Fuyumi exhales shakily, slumping forward like the fight left her body along with it. You can see the moment your confession truly registers, misty eyed and sparing a glance between one another. Turning on your knees, you reach into the shelves of the TV cabinet, grasping the framed photo of your son as an infant. 

Rei takes it from you delicately as you offer it to her with an outstretched hand and traces her fingers across the glass pane, circling the swell of Kaiyo’s pink cheek. It’s a personal favourite of yours — his arms are held above his head in triumph, the lower half slightly blurred from the excited kick of his feet. He’s grinning widely, so much so his eyes are squinted. 

Touya had been the one to take that photo, making ridiculous noises from behind the camera, the ghost of their intermingling laughter still ringing in your ears. 

“His name is Kaiyo and he’ll be turning four soon,” you watch warmly as Fuyumi leans over her mothers shoulder to get a better look, hand clutching at the fabric of her knit sweater, “the pregnancy was unexpected. We didn’t… I told Touya I would raise him myself, but he insisted on taking responsibility”. 

As you recall, the very notion that he wouldn’t stick around had offended him. He loved his son. He’d even cried over the baby scans, dry blood still smeared across black and white where they sit in your bedroom drawer. But you could see how the fear had eaten away at him throughout those nine months, restlessly doting on you and bringing home stolen things for the baby every few days but never being able to touch your growing bump. 

“Then, why did he join the league?” Fuyumi asks, but you were intuitive enough to see the real question between the lines. Why wasn’t any of this enough? Why did he leave this behind, too? 

You’d guessed from the beginning that his relationship with his family was, at best, a strained one. In reality it was worse than you could’ve imagined. The small pieces to his past that he let slip every now and then would always fill you with distress, at a loss for words. 

The reveal of who his father had been all you needed to understand the secrecy, of both his identity and of your relationship. 

“Stain,” you cross your arms over the surface of the coffee table, knees folded beneath it, and resist the urge to hide your face, “he continued to use his quirk so his condition was worsening, and his anger towards Endeavor had been festering for years”.

You ignore their plaintive wince at the mention of the pro, blunt nails curling into your inner wrists as you continue. “Touya felt his death didn’t matter. It didn’t change a thing,” and he had to watch his world move on without acknowledging it, “everything Endeavor did made him susceptible to Stain’s cause”.

Stain’s temporary reign of terror over Japan was the first time he’d ever heard anyone criticise hero society so blatantly. You remember the vengeful kindling in his eyes as he recited the vigilante’s words, your son sound asleep in his arms and none the wiser. 

It was that night, and every night that followed, that the stress had started to gnaw at your chest until you felt your lungs collapse under the weight. Panic gripped you each time he returned home with a new injury, the smell of smoke suffocating and clinging to the futon covers no matter how much you washed them. He carried a feral sense of excitement and restlessness that left you helpless — something had breathed new life into him, and it had not been you. 

Fighting had been pointless, your pleas like water to a ducks back. He loved you, he loved his son, and somehow he had rationalised that burning himself and the world would give rise to a better place.  

“He already died once,” your smile is tight but not as tight as your throat,  “and it did nothing. So this time he’d do it where it couldn’t be hidden, where everyone would have to look right at his self immolation and know their part in causing it”. 

It's then that Rei carefully places the photograph on the table as she lowers herself onto her knees, the frame remaining upright with the support of its stand. With her hands resting one atop the other, she leans forward into a full bow in front of you. 

You’re stunned with arms suspended in the air as you hesitate to reach for her, a swell of tears lining your eyes at her softly spoken apology. Your son watches over the exchange, his presence poignant even through an image. 

“Ms. Himura, please lift your head,” you shift towards her, close enough to thread your fingers over her own, feeling the peaks of her knuckles against your palm. 

“I failed him as his mother,” she says, overturning her hand to hold yours and squeezing, “it was those failures that led to your own suffering. I’m sorry”. 

In your peripheral you see Fuyumi as she moves to mirror her mother, sitting close beside you, fingers ghosting a chill along your forearm where she comes to entangle with the two of you. 

“Please don’t take responsibility for my pain. Besides, it wasn’t always terrible,” you stare at the knot of limbs, comforted by the gentle warmth of their touch, “I don’t think… I’ve ever met anyone who loves as much as your son does”. 

Rei’s eyes fall shut, a faint pinch between her brows, sorrowful as she replies: “I know”.  

Her expression is so full of regret it’s almost contagious, drawing you in and reminding you of your own mistakes. There’d been so many opportunities that you could’ve fought him, could’ve said something, but didn’t for fear of pushing him further away. 

“How did you find me?” 

Your voice cuts through the plaintive silence and you shrink under their gaze as their eyes lift. Fuyumi speaks in place of her mother, her thumb rubbing back and forth over your wrist. 

“Shouto saw you as Touya was being transferred, and in all honesty he didn’t think anything of it until Touya attacked him to keep the attention on himself,” she explains with an amused lilt, “he appeared to be very protective of you”.

Idiot, you think fondly. 

“I assure you he only told my mother,” Fuyumi squeezes your forearm once again as if to comfort you, “he was concerned and wasn’t sure if he just misunderstood. But we wanted to look for you to make sure”. 

“Then, the authorities aren’t aware?” 

“No,” Rei murmurs. 

You’re surprised by just how much you were being upheld by stress, shoulders sagging forward in relief, sinking your teeth into the soft inside of your cheek to withhold a whimper. 

“Thank you,” you say hoarsely, and you repeat it again and again until the two women have swaddled you in their arms, surrounded by the gentle scent of lavender and detergent. 

“You’re family to Touya, therefore you’re family to us,” Fuyumi reassures you, “you don’t have to do this alone anymore if you don’t want to”. 

Family. The prospect almost seemed too good to be true, an enticing offer laid out only to trap you at the end. You couldn’t risk Kaiyo’s safety or wellbeing, but their sincerity is so palpable it’s stifling. 

“How is he?” you ask instead, “is he safe?” 

“This knowledge isn’t available to the public, but he has been moved into a private villain corrections centre,” Rei looks at Kaiyo’s picture as she speaks, and you wonder if she sees Touya looking back.

“He will be undergoing rehabilitation with the hopes of one day joining us for a period of probation,” she continues, turning to you with a soft smile, “rest assured we have no intention of removing his autonomy. Touya consciously chose to carry out his actions and he should take responsibility for it…”

Her voice breaks, “… but we had our own part to play in his creation, and believe he deserves a second chance”. 

It’d sound like a perfect dream if you did not know Touya as intimately as you do. You’re unable to repress the grimace that crosses your expression. 

“He won’t be happy about that,” your eyes fall closed momentarily as you exhale, “he won’t see it your way. You already took his autonomy by removing his choice to die, that’s what he’ll think”. 

“You really do understand him, don’t you?” Fuyumi laughs mournfully, “he’s refusing to cooperate. He was relatively fine in police custody but since the transfer he’s become more hostile”.

The room grows a little smaller with every word. “Do you think it’s because I was there?” 

“Shouto asked twice who you were and Touya attacked him both times. It’s a big part of why he came to me about it, and why we knew we had to find you,” Rei says. 

It would make sense. Touya always smothered his anxiety with anger, a response that allowed him some control or imitation of power, and power meant safety. You knew he found common ground with his youngest brother, that being the reason he ultimately lost to him, but that didn’t mean he trusted Shouto. The thought of him restlessly wondering if you and Kaiyo were in danger causes your chest to tighten. 

“Maybe if you’re able to tell him we’re okay, he’ll start responding to treatment?” 

“Maybe,” Rei nods and then the apartment is veiled in heavy silence. It wasn’t unlike sitting at his wake. You wished he could bear witness to how much love you all felt for him. 

Suddenly, a muted beeping sounds from the thin, mint coloured watch clasped around Rei’s wrist. She sighs and pressed her lips into a thin, displeased line. “I’m sorry but we can’t stay longer. They still get a little nervous if I’m out too long,” she says. 

Right. She too had spent time locked away in a hospital. It must be difficult, you think, to have a mistake follow you wherever you went. A perfect recovery did not mean other people would forgive, or forget. 

Maybe one day, Touya would see that he and his mother are more similar than he realises. 

“That’s fine, Ms. Himura,” you bow forward towards her, and then again while addressing Fuyumi, “I’m grateful to you both for finding us”. 

“And we’re grateful you gave us a chance,” Fuyumi lifts her arms in an aborted motion as if to hug you, but decides against it, “we’d like to leave you with our contact information. If there’s anything you need or… if you’d like Kaiyo to visit, please don’t hesitate to call”. 

Their touch lingers long after they leave. The evening moves on, sun dipping below the seam of the horizon as it always does as if nothing had changed, an unintended reminder of how minuscule your problems really were. Kaiyo is returned home by his sitter, excitedly babbling about his day, rushing throughout the apartment with bare feet padding over the spot where his grandmother had been seated only hours before. 

You’re reminded of how intuitive he is when he curls himself around your thigh, asking you if you’re okay, if you were feeling sick or sad. There’s a guilt there that can only come with parenthood, your depression smothered like a wet blanket as you pull forward a smiling mask to wear, hoping it will placate his worry. 

“I’m okay baby,” you tell him with fingers combing through unkempt red hair, his eyes wide and bright and distinctly your own, “I’m just a little tired”.  

There is an anger that accompanies the insurmountable love you feel when you look at your son. It is difficult to accept his abandonment, to know you will have to be the one imparting that pain into him. So gentle, excitable and considerate of those around him, qualities taught to him by his supposedly villainous parents.

Despite his mistakes and doubts, Touya tried to be a good father, he’d wanted to be one. You suspected a lot of it came from a place of wishfulness, parenting his child in a way he’d wanted for himself, as painful as it might’ve been to realise just how little he’d mattered to his own. And you can see it now — Touya’s inherited wounds are steadily present on Kaiyo, a passing of the torch, and all you can do is try to stop the bleeding.

If you truly thought about it, you could say your whole relationship had carried a disquieting dark shadow beneath its skin, something of a spreading blood wheel. You overlooked it anytime he was callous and unruly, you’d cry and ache but it pleased you to know he still cared enough about himself to be angry. 

Soon after joining the league he’d gradually plateaued, urges satisfied, and you should’ve noticed. 

“Mama, look,” Kaiyo appears and lifts a thin sheet towards you, paper wrinkling under his chubby fingers, “I drawed dad!”

“Drew,” you warmly correct, cradling his cheeks as you duck to press a kiss to his forehead. The drawing is that of three stick figures, each one distinct with features. Touya’s figure has his black spiked hair, and across the lower half of its face is a purple shadow. His scars, you assume. 

It was all perfectly normal to Kaiyo; the sutures and rings, the burns, the ever present smell of smoke. From the moment he could open his eyes, they would follow his father with love and excitement. The admiration would sometimes unsettle Touya, too familiar, too much like looking into a reflection. 

“It’s brilliant, baby,” you tell him, gentle as you take it from his grasp, “shall we put it on the pinboard along with the others?”

He huffs, incensed by your request, “but I want to show my friends!”

Therein lies the dilemma. You wonder how often this problem will crop up in the years to come, how quickly you might run out of acceptable excuses as he becomes old enough to understand. Dabi was too easily recognised, even in your son's amateur rendition of him. 

“I really love this one though Kai, it has all of us,” you twist your lips into a cartoonish pout, pulling the sweet sound of a laugh from him, “please can I keep it?”

His childish glare withers as he fights a smile, the restrained happiness plain on his face and entirely contagious. “Ok mama, I guess,” he relents, innocent and forgiving, head tilted and cheeks pink under your praise. In moments like this, you can truly understand a parent's wish to freeze time. 

You recall Touya’s claim of putting good into the world before his death. You too could hardly believe that you’d raised such an unequivocally good little boy. But as you watch your son appraise his art with an excited wiggle, you’re reminded that children are not a tool for redemption. 

“I love you,” I promise I’ll be better for you, “and dad loves you too. How about we draw him another picture? I’ll do one aswell". 

“Okay!” he takes your hand and begins to pull you along the hallway towards his room, your back bent uncomfortably to lessen his reach. Halfway to his destination, Kaiyo pauses, pulling anxiously at the hem of his metallica shirt. 

“When… When is dad coming back from work?” 

That’s right. Work in Okinawa, you’d told him. A terribly flimsy excuse given in a moment of panic. At the time you just wanted him to have a reason to hold onto, to reassure himself with, but it was slowly coming back to bite you. 

“He still has a lot to do baby,” an understatement if you’d ever heard one, “it’ll be a little while. But we can be patient, can’t we?”

His lips purse into a pout, eyes shimmering with unshed tears as he bravely nods, and the thought of Rei’s phone number waiting in your contacts lingers in the forefront of your mind. 

Truthfully it haunts you throughout the rest of your week, stomach lined thickly with guilt. You eat, you work, you walk Kaiyo to school with eyes on every corner. You sleep in Touya’s most recently worn hoodie and pretend it’s his skin, his hands, too attached to his scent to wash it. 

Kaiyo continues to draw, to write and create. He brings graded homework back from school to keep in one of your old folders along with his other keepsakes; just in case Touya comes back, just so he can show him. 

You were looking over some of the old home made cards the night you finally called Rei, reliving another time and wondering if it ever really had been better, or if it’d just been a figment of your imagination. 

It can be difficult to know when a memory has been altered by nostalgia. 

“What’s this?” Touya had said as Kaiyo handed him a Father’s Day card, the inside lined with confetti and star sequins that toppled into his lap when opened. 

“I— I made it for you,” Kaiyo had explained nervously with eyes wide, hands flexing at his sides, “see… that’s you and— and me!” 

“Those potato shaped things are us?” Kaiyo had visibly deflated even with Touya’s playful tone, “this is pretty fuckin’ cool if you ask me”. 

“Freakin’,” you’d gently chided, lacking any heat for it to sound truly scolding at the time, too pleased by Kaiyo’s excited dancing. You recall the relaxed smirk on Touya’s lips and how he’d pressed a kiss to your shoulder, a rare moment of him being truly at ease and present. 

“And the heart, why s’it blue and not red?” 

“Because of your fire, dad!” Kaiyo grinned as he lifted his arms, mimicking the pose of a hero, “I hope I have blue flames, just like you”. 

Fragile. You'd watched on as Touya’s expression became strained, closing the card and setting it on the table, “I guess we better keep it somewhere safe since you worked so hard on it”. 

Into the folder it went. 

You decide to make the leap the following morning, allowing Kaiyo to sleep a little longer while you sift through your shared wardrobe for a suitable outfit. Work had happily allowed you a day off — even though they were chronically short staffed, you didn’t often call in sick so they were glad to give it to you. 

Usually Kaiyo would be dropped off with his sitter, an older woman known in the neighbourhood for fostering children. She’d been around for a long time, had seen and worked with many a criminal, and she understood young people more than you could comprehend. You trusted her with your son, trusted that even if he unknowingly slipped up she wouldn’t say a thing. 

But today that wasn’t necessary. You feel the fabric of the small knitted sweater between your fingers, frowning at the aggravating itch. He wouldn’t wear this, too scratchy, but it was also the closest to nice clothing he had. 

It isn’t like you’re living in poverty, but one mistake and it could very well be a truth for you. Clothes were fine as long as they fit — Kaiyo loved the little band tees his father would bring him more than anything, he didn’t care much for formal wear. 

The unbidden image of Touya’s displeased scowl flashing through your thoughts is enough for you to put the sweater back. Forcing Kaiyo to conform for the sake of his wealthier relatives, indicating that your own reality was something lesser, is something you wouldn’t do. Something Touya would hate you for. 

A small lump curled up beneath the futon covers begins to move. Kaiyo stirs, almost as if he can feel your turmoil, sleep lined eyes searching for you. 

“Ma?” 

“Mornin’, handsome,” a smile pulls naturally at your lips and warmth unfurls in your chest when he reaches for you. Half of his hair is pressed flat to the side of his head where he’d laid. 

He blinks slowly from your lap, his fathers nose wrinkling as he surveys the clothes you’d been mulling over. It’s an unspoken question. 

“I have a surprise for you so I wanted to find something nice for you to wear,” you tell him, hand rubbing along the length of his back. He perks up noticeably, foot kicking out against the sweater you’d just been holding. 

“Don’t like that one,” he says. You laugh, eyes closing for a moment to silently send thanks to Touya, even if he had just been a fleeting piece of your imagination. 

“Thought so,” you murmur, leaning forward to move it aside, “pick something for yourself, then. Make sure it’s something you’ll feel good in, because we’re going to meet some new people today”. 

“Who?” he asks, mouth wet and shaped into an ‘o’ as he fists his hands into another one of his dark coloured t-shirts. 

“You know how a lot of your friends have more than just a mother and father?”

He mumbles a dejected ‘yes’. 

“Well, I know you’ve been missing dad so I thought we might be able to connect with him in a different way,” you explain, helping him lift his pyjama shirt over his head and refraining from pinching his belly. 

“What would you say if I told you… I was going to take you to see your grandma right now?” 

“Grandma?!” he squeaks from behind the clean shirt you loop over his head, frowning then as you help him push his arms through the sleeves, releasing a small noise of complaint. 

“That’s right, your dad's mother,” — your smile dims slightly while he insists on dressing himself, reminded of how quickly the time has passed, how much he was growing — “I guess he didn’t talk about his family a lot did he?”

Kaiyo shakes his head excitedly, bouncing on his toes as he struggles to tug his pants over his clean underwear. He relents and allows you to do up the fiddly top button of his trousers. 

“That’s not all…” 

“More?!”

“You have an auntie and two uncles,” you tell him, and his hands fly to cover his mouth as he begins to dance with excitement. His joy is contagious, you feel it fill you and spill over as you pull him back into your lap, holding him tightly. 

Rei and the siblings, that had been the deal. No Endeavor. Touya may forgive the former, but never the latter. You wouldn’t do that to him.

It isn’t strenuous getting him out the door, but it is taxing to get him to the station, hair once again tucked under a knitted beanie despite the day's warmth. He jumps over the cracks in the pavement, follows the pattern with his feet, stops to greet every stray he sees. 

And you let him. Because his happiness is your own, and you dread to imagine him without it. Maybe it was selfish for you to cover his ears to the cruelty around him. He knew of fear, pain and crime, he knew that people sometimes did bad things to others. But it had never been personal to him, not yet. 

Perhaps the biggest question as a parent was just that — at what point do you expose your children to what may hurt them? 

You had told Rei the cover story ahead of time, embarrassed by your own lies, but she’d been understanding. Gentle. Somehow it only left you more ashamed. 

You wanted to preserve the innocent lense in which he viewed the world, wanted to encase the image he held of his father in amber. Because when you’re a child, the power of those traumas stay with you, chemically alter you; they become the epicentre of your nightmares, they shape your convictions and morals, they fuel your will. Touya knew that more than anyone. 

You observe Kaiyo while he watches the surroundings change, clutching the backrest of his seat as he looks out the train window, propped up on his knees and ignorant of the glare from the elderly woman beside him. Folded on her lap is the morning newspaper, a grainy black and white photo of flames and the words ‘Where is Endeavor’s Villainous Son?’ printed across the front. 

You adjust the hat, his eyes fixed on the moving landscape. He’d never been this far out of the Kanagawa prefecture, Touya’s unease with regards to your safety always taking precedence over the freedom to explore, so you let him press his nose to the glass and laugh as his voice begins to vibrate with the train. 

“Do you remember the names I told you?”

“Yumi!”

“Fuyumi,” you emphasise, tucking the tag by his neck back into the confines of his shirt, “who else?”

He holds out his fist, fingers unfurling one by one as he counts, seeking your praises as he goes. “Fuyumi… Shouto… Natsu…o… Natsuo!”

The two hour journey passes in what feels like a minute. With one blink the train arrives in Shizuoka, slow as it pulls up to the second platform, the anticipation knotting thickly like yarn in your gut. Kaiyo, as perceptive as he can be, is bubbling with too much enthusiasm to notice your inner turmoil. 

You hold him on your hip, arms pressing him close into your chest as the sliding doors part, and step into the throngs of people waiting to board the train. As if you’d been in a soundproof bubble the noise of the city amplifies, a cacophony of voices and cries and whistles echoing uncomfortably in your ears. There are suits everywhere, hats tipped over eyes, too many unknowns in such a crowded space. 

The relief of stepping out onto the clear street almost buckles you. Kaiyo is squirming in complaint, wanting to be put back on the pavement but you hike him up a little higher. You couldn’t let him down, couldn’t let him out of reach, couldn’t let anyone take him. 

“Sorry baby, you can walk soon. I just need to find the car first—”

You’re interrupted then by a low, nasal voice, startling you to pivot on your feet. Behind you stands a large figure, bowler hat held politely to his chest as he bows forward. Kaiyo shrinks into the crook of your neck at the sight of a stranger, sensing your unease. The man repeats your name, the well groomed moustache sitting on his top lip moving as he speaks, curled into spirals at either end. He’s formally dressed, wearing a three piece suit and a large black topcoat. 

“That is you, correct?”

Grappling at your thoughts, you recall the riddle that you had given to Rei after her suggestion of having you picked up. She hadn’t wanted you to make your own way there, adamant that the family staff would drive the two of you to her home, and you gave in only at the promise of a safeword.

You inhale to steady yourself. “What is it that, given one, you’ll have either two or none?”

His eyes soften considerably but it does nothing to soothe the tension, only when he gives you the answer do you let yourself relax. “A choice,” he says, “my apologies. I should have been more considerate of your circumstances”. 

Circumstances. What a kind understatement. 

“My name is Ono Hiroki, I’m under the service of Ms. Himura and will be your driver,” he continues with a well meaning tilt to his head as he leans towards Kaiyo in greeting, “and what is the young master's name?”

You feel your son shift beneath your chin, presumably to look up at Hiroki, but he remains stubbornly quiet. “This is Kaiyo,” the grip he has on your shirt lessens at the sound of your voice, “we appreciate you coming out here to meet us but… please don’t refer to him with that title”. 

Touya would turn his nose up if he heard. You can almost imagine the shiver that may have run down his back just now, wherever he may be, and the thought forces you to hide a smile into Kaiyo’s knitted hat. 

“Of course,” Hiroki assents, and he begins to lead you towards the car. You cringe at how obviously it stands out amongst the more common models, clearly something owned by someone with great wealth and status. Even with having chosen your best outfit, the clothes on your back suddenly felt like straw, cheap and unfit for the occasion. 

The drive is smooth, though your sense of time becomes warped — had someone asked you how long it took to arrive, you wouldn’t have an answer for them. Kaiyo, just as he had done on the train, pressed his nose and fingers to the window; leaving behind murky smudges against the glass. 

As the car pulls to the curb you’re left feeling alienated by the neighbourhood. Worse, Hiroki steps out and speeds around to your door, opening it for you with a reflexive bow. 

It feels… uncomfortable. 

The property itself is walled off from the street and the building is large, though you’re sure that’s only in comparison to your own homes. You’re drawn in by the greenery that surrounds it, though the trees were likely put there for the sake of privacy the garden was clearly a labour of love. 

It appears to be a single story house, the roofs tiled dark brown with broad waves and an exterior hallway that frames around each room. You could picture Rei tending to her garden while her children sat on the veranda in the summer months. 

It was beautiful. 

Hiroki slowly leads you up the path, the gravel between each step crunching beneath your shoes. The pace can be attributed to Kaiyo’s adamance in standing on each individual stone, which the man kindly indulges. 

The entrance is made up of a large sliding door with plaster slitted windows. Hiroki pushes it across and moves aside to allow you into the house. You murmur in wonderment at the width of the genkan, the wall above the shoe cupboard  lined with traditional calligraphy. 

“Yes— it’s fine! I’ll bring them through…”

A sweet, familiar voice echoes throughout the entryway. Kaiyo tucks himself against the back of your knees as Fuyumi rounds the corner, socked feet slipping slightly on the wooden flooring in her excitement. 

Her lips part to greet you, the words caught in her throat as her gaze is drawn to the movement behind your legs. Typically Kaiyo could be quite rambunctious around others, loud and eager to befriend others. Here you can feel his anxiety, how small he must feel in this large, unfamiliar place. 

Fuyumi, too, is at a loss for words. A little pale, teary eyed as she blinks, visibly composing herself in front of you both.  “It’s good to see you again, Fuyumi,” you say as the silence stretches on, taking pity on her. 

Her demeanour lightens, and she appears grateful. Somehow her awkward loss of words and your son's hesitance lent you courage even if you, too, did not have your footing. 

“How about we take off our shoes and make proper introductions?” the question ends with a soft hum, a gentle verbal push, reaching back to pluck the hat from Kaiyo’s head. 

His hair is mussed, cowlicks pointed in all directions after being pressed beneath the yarn. You run your hand through it, wetting the pads of your fingers to flatten some of the more unruly curls down until they’re neat. The red is brighter in the sunlit genkan, and Fuyumi does well to conceal her sharp inhale. 

Kaiyo steps forward, nervously wringing out the material of his t-shirt, and Fuyumi lowers herself to his height as if approaching a cornered animal. Tender with her motions, she reaches out to still his anxious tic, ducking her head to smile where he can see it. A teacher, you remember. 

“It’s so wonderful to meet you Kaiyo. I’m your aunt Fuyumi,” she says. He turns over his wrist and takes three of her fingers into his fist, head nodding forward in what you know to be a bow. 

“Nice to meet you, aunt Fuyumi,” he replies. 

“Don’t worry about formalities, sweetheart,” she uses her free hand to straighten out the hem of the shirt, her eyes flickering over the logo with some recognition, “you can call me ‘Yumi. You are my nephew, after all”. 

Kaiyo straightens his back, overjoyed by the privilege, and looks up to share the feeling with you. If you could read his thoughts you’d guess it was something along the lines of told you her name was ‘Yumi, mama. 

“Natsuo isn’t here yet as he stayed overnight at his girlfriend's dorm,” Fuyumi continues as she rises to her feet, still keeping a firm hold of Kaiyo’s hand, “but mother and Shouto are in the tatami room. She likes having all the doors open on a day like this while we sit together, would you like to meet them?”

“Yes!”. In his excitement he pushes up onto the tip of his toes, shedding his timid attitude and grinning so wide his cheeks begin to pinken. It’s infectious, Fuyumi brightening considerably at his sudden comfort in her presence, and she begins to guide you both through the house. 

Soft spoken murmurings become louder as you approach the open sliding door into what you presume is the tatami room. Kaiyo pauses a few steps before, hidden behind the panel, waiting until you’re close enough for him to wrap an arm around your thigh. 

“You’re ok, baby,” you whisper warmly, “let’s go in together”. 

You enter the room with an awkward gait, slowed by the weight of your son against your leg, the matts firm beneath your feet. Immediately you are embraced by the scent of earth and autumn bellflower. Rei is seated on a pale green cushion across from Shouto, cross legged and holding a steaming cup of tea with both hands, on the table between them is a vase blooming purples and blues. You garner their attention, self-consciousness twisting uncomfortably in your chest as they appraise you and Kaiyo, a part of you always ready to jump to his defences. 

But the two, despite the cool air and unreadable expressions, only seem to thaw as their eyes fall to your son. 

The light knock of Shouto’s mug levelling atop the table surface brings you above water. “Greet your grandmother properly, sweetheart,” you step further into the space and lower to your knees, Kaiyo mirroring your actions with caution, facing Rei with his hands resting politely on his knees. 

You bow forward, thank you for having us Ms. Himura, and watch with fond exasperation as Kaiyo leans until his forehead is touching the tatami in your peripheral. “It’s nice to meet you, grandmother. It’s— it’s nice to meet you, uncle Shouto,” he recites, “my name is Kaiyo!”

You smile at the force behind the words, as if he’d practised them in his mind repeatedly before arriving. Rei appears to come to the same conclusion, returning the words and beckoning him to sit beside her, and Fuyumi ushers you to take a seat by Shouto.

In closing the distance Rei appears mystified, eyeline wet as she blinks back the tears, hands lifting to cradle your son's face in her palms. Kaiyo tenses for a moment on contact, shoulders relaxing as her thumbs graze over the swell of his cheeks. You wonder who she was truly seeing as she looked at Kaiyo, a little boy almost identical to her own. “My hands are a little cold, aren’t they?” her voice is soft, weak. There’s an intonation of grief, of regret, and an apology in her eyes. 

And your son, ever loving and perceptive, covers them with his own as if to tell her it doesn’t bother him in the slightest. Then he shifts closer on his knees until he’s tucked against her chest, her chilled touch running along the length of his back as she holds him. At your side you feel Shouto exhale a short, hot breath of emotion. 

“Tea?”

You look to see Fuyumi has set out more cups, now with a pale cream teapot in her grip, unphased by the temperature as tendrils of steam wisp and dance from the spout. Along the curve of her jaw is a single tear, and she tilts to wipe it on her shoulder with a weak sniffle. You feel it too, pulling the sleeves of your shirt over your wrists to conceal the trembling, lifting your chin to keep the emotions behind your eyelids.

“That’d be great,” you nod, accepting the cup that Shouto slides towards you, “thank you”. 

You’re tempted to thank Fuyumi again as you bring the ceramic to your lips, a slight sting to the skin of your palms and your lower lip, breathing in the potent scent of green tea. This family must enjoy it a little stronger, steeping the leaves for longer, the bitterness heavy on your tongue. There is at least some respite in the distraction it provides — you could not talk if your mouth was busy. 

Kaiyo ignores the silences, leaving his grandmother's lap to squeeze himself next to Shouto. You try not to laugh, the youngest at a loss for what to do as your son looks up at him in wonderment and admiration, though it is hard to restrain yourself at the barrage of questions Kaiyo targets him with. 

“Are you really going to be a pro hero, uncle Shouto?”

“I am,” he replies solemnly, “I’ll be a hero that my family can rely on. Do you want to be a hero?”

“Hell no!” 

“Kaiyo—”

“I’m going to go to space,” he barrels on without a care, too wrapped up in his own passion to recognise the informality, but with Rei’s quiet laugh you realise there was no need to worry. As Kaiyo stumbles over his words about asteroids and comets, about how the sunset on mars is blue and isn’t that so cool, Shouto seems to relax even further. 

“He doesn’t think he’s good at talking to children,” Fuyumi whispers at your side, “believe me, Kaiyo is doing him a favour”. 

Even as the time passes Shouto’s tea remains steaming in his left hand while yours begins to cool, and Rei observes their back and forth with an autumn bellflower petal between her fingers, gently as she handles it like it were something precious. There’s no tension, any growing pains soothed as Kaiyo soaks up the attention, the beating heart of the room. 

“I’m gonna go to space an’ clean up all the junk,” he announces. A goal that you’d heard many a time, manifested in his fathers arms one evening as they’d sat together watching a pre-quirk era documentary about space travel. 

“Pro heroes came along and suddenly we forgot everything that used to be important to us,” Touya muttered, “going to space is—”

“—a hero's job in its own right,” Shouto says. 

You do well not to drop your drink as Kaiyo launches himself into Shouto’s lap, one of his arms outstretched to not spill his own while the other steadies the boy to his chest. Gleeful, childish laughter wells throughout the room, paired with the balmy sun and the whistle of a Japanese tit flitting through the gardens. 

“Dad told me that too,” you feel as the mother, the sister and the brother all hold their breath at the mention of Touya, the one topic they weren’t sure if they could even touch upon, “do you really think so, uncle Shouto?” 

“I do…” he shifts, hugging Kaiyo only after glancing at you for permission, “...and you don’t need to prefix my name with ‘uncle’ every time. You can be casual”. 

“Prefix?” 

“A word that comes before another,” you interject gently, “he means you can just call him Shouto, baby”. 

In that instance your back straightens at the sound of another voice ringing throughout the house, low and distant. “I’m home,” they shout with familiarity, “sorry I’m late!”.

Fuyumi jumps to her feet, leaving to meet the new arrival, and Kaiyo watches her go with a chubby fist curled into Shouto’s sweater. He pats his hand awkwardly to Kaiyo’s thigh in reassurance, “don’t worry, it’s just Natsuo. He’s my other older brother”. 

Kaiyo lessens his grip, tentative as he watches the open doorway, and you can’t help but to reflexively reach out to pinch his cheek. “It’ll be fine,” you murmur. 

Your first impression of Natsuo is that he’s much bigger than his siblings. He must’ve inherited his build from his father and his demeanour in spite of him, because even with the chill that he brings, his grin is refreshing. The type of person that sets you at ease and wordlessly invites you in, that actively wants you to feel welcomed. 

“Wow, you’re really here. You’re really…” Natsuo's throat bobs as he swallows his next words, silenced by Fuyumi’s encouraging touch. Rather, he hastily greets his mother with a kiss to the cheek, and then he settles down at the table facing Kaiyo. 

A litany of emotions flicker through his face, like he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel. Even so, his smile doesn’t waver as he introduces himself to you, nervously rubbing his neck as he bows. 

“And you must be Kaiyo. I’m Natsuo, I guess that makes me your uncle,” he inhales deeply, chest expanding and falling, “you… you really do look like your dad”. 

He sounds mournful. Kaiyo senses the change in atmosphere, though he doesn’t understand it, and the anxiety settles into his restless fingers as they pick a thread loose from Shouto’s sweater. 

Fuyumi lightly swats at him: “Natsuo, you’re freaking them out!” 

He gives a wounded complaint, dramatic only in a way you can find with siblings as he clutches at his bicep, and Kaiyo laughs. Like it was called upon, the sun moves from behind a cloud and brightens the room. 

“Sorry, buddy. I didn’t mean to be awkward, I was just surprised,” he says. 

Kaiyo slides down from Shouto’s lap, the youngest briefly forlorn at the loss before schooling his expression once more. “It’s ok, mama said I look like dad too. That’s why I’m so handsome,” he grins triumphantly. 

Your chest knots tightly at the spotlight it shines on your relationship with Touya, thoughts running amok with assumptions of what they must think of you, whether they approve of how you have raised Kaiyo. But despite your inner conflict the family don’t flinch, in fact — they smile with him. 

“Touya was indeed a beautiful little boy,” Rei briefly looks at the purple petal still held between her fingers, “I have a lot of pictures here. Would you like to see?” 

Kaiyo scrambles, almost knocking the table as he stands, “yes please, grandmother!”

There’s an air of nostalgia as she leans down to take his smaller hand into her own, in the way he looks up with love, height falling just short of her hip. The last time she had seen her children this size had been before she was sent away. You can’t even begin to comprehend such a loss.

“Just 'grandma' is fine,” she assures, and Kaiyo bounces with each step as they leave to find the photographs. 

You realise, then, that you are left alone with the siblings. Fuyumi pours more tea, the sound of running water loud in your ears, Natsuo’s words barely audible to you. 

“I wanted to thank you,” he says, cup in hand with his thumb anxiously tapping the rim, “for being there for Touya when we couldn’t be. For bringing Kaiyo here even when you have every right to distrust us”. 

The words pick away at the composure you’d maintained throughout the morning, their gratitude, while completely genuine, feels undeserved. In the grand scheme of things your relationship to Touya had not changed much at all, perhaps he’d staved off his mission for a while to play house with you, but the outcome was the same. 

“It isn’t you that I distrust,” the ‘Endeavor’ goes unspoken, “I wanted Kaiyo to keep his connection to his father. And you don’t need to thank me, I didn’t…”

Didn’t help him. Didn’t save him. Didn’t stop him. You only loved him. You laid with him in darkness and thought if you held him tight enough that something might crack, that the light might get in. 

“What I did wasn’t enough,” you tell them, the words broken with your wet exhale, “it was your actions, your dedication to understanding him. It’s… it’s you I should thank, Shouto”.

“Still,” Fuyumi is tender as she speaks, her hand resting between your shoulder blades, “knowing that all that time he wasn’t alone, knowing that he had you, it means a great deal to us all”. 

Even if he hadn’t been alone for those few years, there was still a rotten past from before he met you that he wouldn’t touch. Touya, stone faced and eyes narrowed, watching you from beneath the sheets of his hospital bed as if he were a wounded animal. Your slow, telegraphed actions, promising respite. That’s why despite wanting to stay away from you, he couldn’t — because you saw who he was, and you still loved him. The burning flesh, the distended skin, the smoke and the blood. You saw the bodies on the news, you saw the flames across the city, and you still loved him. 

Maybe that was the only thing you got right; because there isn’t much else worse than someone loving the potential of who you could be, or loving someone you’re not. In the end, you think, we all want to be seen first and loved second. 

“I do think he’s worried about you,” Shouto interjects plainly, “ he’s not directly asking about your wellbeing because he doesn’t want to reveal your identity, but the staff say he’s restless”. 

“You can be quite perceptive, Shouto,” Fuyumi says. 

“A friend of mine has told me that before,” there’s a flicker of a smile pulling at his lips and it warms his expression. If you needed to attach a word to it you’d pick fond. 

“Though he also said I make all the wrong assumptions about what I’m seeing,” he exhales through his nose in what you think might be a laugh, “that’s why I went to my mother first. This seemed… too important to be wrong about”.

“I’m truly grateful for your discretion,” you wipe a tear along the heel of your hand, ignoring the sting in your sinuses, “and for your acceptance of us”.

“You’re our family now,” Natsuo’s grin widens, “and I can’t say I wasn’t curious ‘bout the kind of person my brother fell in love with”.

You knew what Touya would say to that. You're too good for me, I don’t want to hurt you. You should’ve seen through it then, with every premature apology. People only say those things when they know they’re going to hurt you. 

Over your thoughts you hear the siblings begin to talk again with affection, your eyes drawn to the empty end of the table. You should be here, you think, I wish you were here. 

Kaiyo returns excitedly with a large picture frame held to his chest, the paint worn and flaking, encasing an old school photograph of Touya. His uniform is buttoned to the top, face youthful and pale, not a scar to be seen. You recall his discomfort with high collared clothing, always irritable against his sutures. 

Following behind is Rei with an album of family pictures. Some of them have been awkwardly cut, some burnt along the edges, some faces notably scribbled over with a pen almost out of ink.

“Mama look, he really does look like me. And dad’s hair was white! Did he colour it like that, too?”

“No sweetheart,” you murmur with gaze fixed to the page as it turns in Rei’s lap, the siblings all gathered around to look, “remember, he told you he had red hair like yours, but it changed like magic”. 

“So cool,” he mumbles in awe under his breath, “dad is so cool”. 

Rei stiffens minutely. Maybe that, too, was uncomfortably familiar. 

The conversation continues into the late afternoon, moving only to sit beneath the clear skies and stretch your legs, Rei guiding you along her well loved flowerbeds. They tell Kaiyo stories of his father, diluted but true for the most part, their smiles tightening with the memories. It feels odd, wrong, mourning a man that is very much alive. You give them a piece of him and in exchange, they offer one back as the hours pass. You come to know another Touya — their Touya — and when you line him up aside your own you find that they aren’t all that different.  

As Kaiyo’s confidence grows with his newfound family he begins to wander. Natsuo lifts him into the air and he laughs joyfully, a sound you wish you could solidify and keep by your breast, and they take off to hide in the house with Fuyumi close behind. 

“Are you sure it’s ok for him to play indoors? I’d hate to leave any mess—”

Rei smiles. The light reflects against the crown of her head forming something of a white halo and Shouto is at her side, eyes softening at his mothers happiness. 

“I assure you it’s alright,” she says, “truthfully I think I’ve missed the mess”. 

You think of toys left astray, crayon smudging cheap wallpaper, juice rings staining the coffee table. Marks of your little boy left all around the apartment. Touya cursing as he steps on a building block, hopping on one leg theatrically to make Kaiyo laugh. Touya spilling the warm bottle of milk as he falls asleep and Kaiyo on his chest, exhausted from a day without rest. 

“I know what you mean,” you reply. 

Shouto only blinks. You couldn’t imagine that he was allowed to make much of a mess at all, and that thought alone makes you ache. His brow furrows then, and anticipation settles in your gut. 

“There was something we wanted to ask of you now Kaiyo is distracted,” he seeks Rei’s support as he talks, and she nods gently before turning to face you. 

“As we’ve told you… Touya is not being cooperative to treatment. In all honesty, we are getting anxious that he will be removed from the programme,” she says with regret, “you are free to refuse. But as you suggested when we first met, I thought he might benefit from knowing you’re safe”.

It feels as if the ground beneath your feet has steepened, a weightlessness flooding through your chest, and you reach for the closest pillar on the veranda to steady yourself. 

“You’ll let me visit him?” 

“Strings can be pulled to get you a visitor's pass,” Shouto confirms sagely, “typically it is for professionals or family. Which you now are”.

You hadn’t even let yourself entertain the idea of being able to see him again. The possibility of hearing his voice, of holding him again, felt too good to be true. 

“And Kaiyo? Where will he stay?” you ask, “I can’t take him with me, I don’t want him to see his father like that—” 

Approaching you from the house is the soft, pitter patter of socked feet. You feel a weight fall on your back, Kaiyo interrupting to wrap his limbs around your waist and neck, giggling into your nape. Natsuo lands unceremoniously on the tatami matts, leaning himself against the inside of the sliding door panels with pink blossoming on his cheeks, “damn, kid. You’ve got too much energy”.

“Your house is so big, grandma,” the words carrying a little embarrassment as Kaiyo says “ours is a lot smaller”.

“Sometimes houses are too big,” Natsuo reassures as he slumps forward to rest his chin against his fist, “you can get lost and feel lonely in a big house. I bet at your place, you can always find your mama, huh?” 

He nods, bouncing on the balls of his feet and rocking your body forward with the motions, “does that mean dad was lonely in the big house?” 

Rei’s hands wring tightly in her lap, the question pulling a forlorn atmosphere over the three, and you’re quick to try and rectify it. “Even if he was, he won’t be anymore because he has you,” you say as you twist your body to pull him into your arms, squirming as your touch curls against his ticklish stomach, “isn’t that right?” 

“Yes,” he stammers between deep inhales, giggles tumbling from his lips and ringing across the garden. Rei reaches to thread her fingers through his hair, the red stark against her skin.

“You are both free to sleep in my guestroom tonight,” she offers warmly in response to your earlier concern, “we will watch him while you’re busy tomorrow”. 

“We can have a sleepover!” Natsuo shouts, the excitement forcing him to sit straight and eyes gleaming. Kaiyo gasps, mirroring his uncles enthusiasm as he clings to your shoulders. Shouto, however, remains plain faced as his gaze flickers between the two. 

“Is it really that fun?” he asks. You hide your abrupt laugh into Kaiyo’s hair as Natsuo’s expression settles into disbelief. 

“What? You’ve never had a sleepover in the dorms?”

“We have a curfew,” Shouto shrugs, and Natsuo guffaws.

“What the f… heck is wrong with your school—”

As they bicker you observe contentment settle around Rei. A gentle breeze passes through the shrubbery and you hear the leaves rustling, light breaking through the canopy above and dancing along the grass. Fuyumi calls everyone back into the house as the scent of curry is coaxed out into the open, and you all make your way to the dining area. 

The night comes sooner than you expect. Kaiyo whines at the full feeling in his stomach, cheeks orange and smattered in sauce. Apparently Rei brought over all the childrens things during her move — everything, from toys to certificates to baby clothes, and you’re offered the hand me downs with a wistful smile. 

Aside from the red sleeves the shirt is white, a flame embroidered into the centre and the word fire written below it. Then you’re given an old blanket, slightly thread bare and clearly well loved. It is a light purple, faded after years of being washed, and dotted with stars. It’d belonged to Touya, she’d said, he always loved stars. Kaiyo clutches it tightly to his chest where he lay across from you on the guest futon. 

“Did you have fun today?”

The covers shift, a tell tale sign that he’s kicking his feet. “Yes mama,” he mumbles, nose wrinkling as he fights to keep his eyes open, “I feel really happy”. 

“I love you baby,” you hum fondly, leaning over to needlessly readjust the covers once more, if only for an excuse to kiss his forehead again, “are you sure you’ll be alright while I’m gone tomorrow?” 

Kaiyo nods, cheek turned against his pillow, jaw already slackening as he succumbs to sleep. It isn’t home, there’s no glowing iridescence on your bedroom ceiling tonight, but the space across from you feels empty as it always does. 

“Watching you two sleep soundly together was the happiest I’d ever been,” he’d said. You have no doubt in your mind that he had been telling you the truth. 

When you're pulled into consciousness it happens gently, the house so quiet that it’s unsettling. You were used to rousing with voices in the streets, car engines spluttering as they passed, thuds from the apartment above your own. Here it’s peaceful, a reality that you never thought you’d come close to, and for a moment you can hardly believe you’re awake. 

The staff offer to make the two of you breakfast but you politely refuse, a possessive twist in your stomach. Accepting help never came easily to you, a deeply buried seed of insecurity in your heart that first leapt to defensiveness. You could feed your son just fine on your own. 

Rei joins you soon after tending to her potted plants, Kaiyo pushing up onto the tip of his toes to kiss her cheek as she holds her dirtied hands away from his clean clothes, passing by you to wash the soil from between her fingers. “Grandma, will you have breakfast with us?”

“Of course,” she smiles. 

The rest of the family slowly trickles into the dining room with slow, sleep leaden movements. A full table, a full heart, a full stomach. Breakfast tastes all the better in their company, even Kaiyo seems to have soaked up the serene atmosphere as he quietly recounts a strange memory he had to Fuyumi. 

Still, the dread begins to settle, your knee bouncing restlessly and concealed by the table cloth. Hiroki enters the house with a deep bow and a lanyard around his wrist, your ID badge clipped securely to the end. “It’s best we leave now to avoid any run-ins with the press,” he tells you apologetically, “the likelihood is low. But I’d like to completely mitigate the chance, if possible”. 

Kaiyo lingers in the genkan, shifting on either foot, fiddling with the strings on his sleep shorts. “I’ll be back later, baby,” you hook your pinky around his and squeeze, “I promise”.

He presses a wet kiss to your cheek and you do not wipe it away, the morning air cooler on the skin where the imprint is left. An off duty officer waits by the curb to follow behind Hiroki’s vehicle — another safety precaution, they say — and he opens the side door on your behalf. 

“What will happen once we get there?” you ask, stare fixed on the streets as they speed past, flocks of people continuing with their days as normal. The thin, plastic card in your hands feels like lead. 

“Upon arrival the officer will escort you to the reception as I am not permitted to enter the building,” he explains while subtly adjusting the rear view mirror to watch you, “you will sign yourself in and then you’ll just have to wait. I’m afraid Master Touya isn’t aware that you are his visitor, so it’s entirely possible he’ll refuse to see you…”

Eventually the words become muffled, a disjointed hum in your ears, and your fingers tighten around the lanyard. You play out every hypothetical in your head, try to script questions in preparation, explanations and excuses. But you come up empty. 

Anything that you think of would be rendered useless as soon as you laid eyes on him. 

Pulling in, you survey the land. The facility is double fenced, double gated, and for all intents and purposes it looks to be a prison. There are patients spread out across the grounds, some lounging in the shade while others gathered under staff supervision. 

Surprisingly you are hesitant to part ways with Hiroki, the man bidding you goodbye with a bow and with promise to pick you up as soon as you’re done. The click of your shoes echoes throughout the building as you walk, the accompanying officer striding ahead of you and silent, beckoning you hastily through the security scanners.

A man stands incredibly tall behind the desktop screen situated atop the main desk, large auburn jackrabbit ears protruding from the crown of his head, paired with two large antlers. As you approach his nose wrinkles. 

“Pass?” he asks, interrupting any chance of you greeting him. You swallow the agitation in your chest and show him the ID card, to which he scans with a handheld device and waits until it beeps. Satisfied, he hands you a clipboard detailing a list of names and tells you to find yours. 

“Write your signature in the arrival slot, and when you leave write it in the departure slot. Wait to be called upon in the seating area”. 

You exhale shakily as you sink into your chair, taking in the room, unable to describe it as anything other than impersonal. You had spent a good deal of adulthood working in a clinical setting, and yet this place only seems to make you uneasy. No colourful posters, no informative leaflets, no magazines for people to read. No stickers by the doors, no colour in the staff uniform, guards posted at every entrance. 

Eventually a red light above the doors to the wards flashes red, a loud buzz cutting through the silence and startling you so harshly your chair scrapes against the tile. A doctor calls your name from the doorway, all eight of her beady eyes observing closely as you get to your feet. 

“The patient is being given forty milligrams of quirk suppressant every four hours while he acclimates to his skin grafts. So rest assured he will not burn you,” — you quickly smother your anger at her insinuation — “since you have a high ranking family pass, contact has been allowed, but if anything goes awry there are guards posted at the door”. 

You’re barely given time to process her explanation or the new information as she abruptly comes to a halt, almost stumbling into her back. All eight of her eyes blink at you expectantly as the door clicks open, inclining you to enter. 

“Thank you,” you mutter as you pass, flinching when the door once again clicks shut. You steel yourself with a deep inhale, lungs ballooning to expend the anxiety spiking throughout your chest, and lift your head. 

The air remains there, held in your mouth so as not to make a sound. Touya stands across the threshold with his back to you, facing the wide barred up windows and observing the other patients. He’s in a loose fitting t–shirt and pants, all white and blending into the rest of the room. Where the collar dips below his nape you can see pink, inflamed skin, and for a moment you are reminded of your first meeting. 

“Finally decided to come look your failure in the eye, did you?” his voice is harsh, like talking through gritted teeth and lilted with sarcasm. You’re frozen in place, muscles tensed as if you were bracing for impact, throat swelling just from hearing him speak again. 

“Hate to say it but there’s no cameras here,” he laughs, a hollow and dry sound as he begins to turn, “so you can drop the fuckin’ act—”

The anger dissipates as soon as he meets your gaze, his seething grin slipping until his jaw slacks in surprise. Even as your eyes sting you cannot blink for fear that he’ll disappear, a wishful figment of your imagination. He’s really here, a few feet from you, flesh and blood and breath. 

Closer now, you can clearly see there are lines of scarring where his previous body had been sutured together. No longer held by staples and rings, the patchwork skin fitting the curve of his cheeks without pulling taut and tearing. He doesn’t wince in discomfort as his expression contorts into disbelief, as his brows pinch and he starts toward you. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?” 

Even with the obvious ire behind his words you aren’t frightened by him. Your legs carry you to meet him halfway, reflexively reaching out for him in all the ways you had longed to over the past few months, only for him to catch you by your wrists. His grip tightens in warning, answer me he snaps, but his demand goes ignored. You’re focused entirely on how cold he feels, sharp around your forearms, just like his tongue. 

“You’re freezing,” you whisper.

He huffs in exasperation, a sound you never knew you could miss. “I know,” he says, dropping your arms as his hold loosens and you silently mourn the loss, “it’s like this all the fuckin’ time now”. 

“Because you don’t have your quirk?” 

He nods curtly, lips twisting in disdain, the confusion in his eyes sinking through realisation and settling on betrayal. “You’ve been getting cosy with my family, haven't you? It’s the only way you would’ve been able to get in here,” he sneers.

You rub away the chill from your inner wrist, following him further into the room as he walks away from you, pleading with him to listen before he makes any assumptions. “Touya, it isn’t what you’re thinking—”

“Don’t call me that!”

Your own anger steers you then, frustrated by his refusal to hear you.  “Touya. Touya. Touya. Touya,” you repeat childishly until he spins on his heel to glare at you. I’m going to keep your name in my mouth until my last breath, you think.  Arguing, scowling, you’ll take anything in this moment as long as he keeps looking at you. 

“Your mother and sister tracked me down, I didn’t go looking for them—” your own fault, you shouldn’t have been there “—they wanted to help me. They wanted to look out for your son!”

He hums like he doesn't believe it, and the forced amusement in his smirk irritates you, crawling hot through your chest. “I bet you’ve been enjoying all that bastard's money, right? He’s got plenty to throw at you and keep you quiet”.

You almost forget to breathe with how his accusation takes you by the throat, the regret crossing his features being the only thing keeping you in the room. It’s hard to handle his vitriol when it is directed at you, hard to see him like this, so wounded and cornered. In his mind you have gone behind his back, you have sought help from the people who hurt him the most, and you are only here on their orders. 

It’s a cycle he cannot break from. He’s gone again, tethered still to the world, but they are all moving on without him. He’s gone again, tucked away where no one needs to look at him, and they are all better for it. 

“I have not met Endeavor and I have made it clear that Kaiyo will not meet him either,” you tell him firmly, “I have not, and will not, accept financial help from that man. You… I’d never do that to you”. 

He wilts then, partially limbless as he sinks back against the hospital bed frame tucked beneath the barred window, covers still spotless and unused. As you glance up at the star-less ceiling, you wonder if he manages to get any sleep at all. 

“Why are you here?” he asks again, no fight left in his words. Without the bravado to keep him up he looks exhausted, torpid. You join him cautiously, settling yourself on the edge of the mattress. 

“To reassure you that we’re okay. That we aren’t in any danger,” you murmur, splaying your hand out in the space between your bodies, “we’re worried about you, Touya. Why aren’t you talking to them?”

He rests his hand beside yours, stretching out his pinky to hook over your own; the one you’d linked with Kaiyo only two hours before. “What good would that do?” he says, “I’m defective and this is just a waste of taxpayers money. Why let me live in the first place?”

The worst part of it all is the grating monotony in his tone, the total disregard for his own life and wellbeing. “Don’t say things like that,” you rasp, “it isn’t true. You have a real chance to do better now”.

“Fuck you,” he snorts without malice, giving a light shake of his head as he continues, “I was always going to end up here. You knew the path I was going to take from the start”. 

“And so did you, Touya!” 

The words come hoarse as they catch in your throat, heavy where they press against your nerves. Around you the room becomes smaller, stifling, and yet he is still miles from your reach. You’d do anything if only it meant wiping that look of indifference from his face. 

“You knew, and you could have made the effort to change. Don’t act as if this was predestined for you, it was your own choices that led you here—” 

“This wouldn’t be happening if you just hadn’t come looking for me!”

“Of course I looked for you,” you pleaded with him, “what would you have had me tell Kaiyo?”

“That I was dead,” he replies plainly, “he would’ve been better off”.

“You…” fatigue floods your system and you feel yourself sink back against the bed frame “…you truly believe that”. 

You don't sob, don't let yourself whimper, you simply let the salty burn overtake your vision and clog your throat, thick and cloying. “Don’t cry,” he murmurs, “you know I’m bad with crying”. 

“You’re crying too,” and he laughs humourlessly, eyes still dry. Amongst the quiet you can hear people outside talking, the window panel slightly ajar to let in a continuous breeze, carrying in the scent of spring. You shiver, and when his icy touch begins to move away you upturn your hand, interlocking your fingers together to keep him there. 

You can feel him watching you as you appraise his belongings. No character, no personality, everything looks brand new and unused. Compared to your stingy one bedroom apartment tucked away in the sparse Yokohama neighbourhoods, this place was completely lifeless. He must hate it here, waking up in yet another unfamiliar place against his will, treated as if he were something to fix.

Though after everything he’s been through, it must be a relief to do something bad and be punished for it, rather than to be punished for all the things you couldn’t do. 

“How is he?” he asks, ending the drawn out silence. 

“He knows something isn’t right,” you say, feeling the chill along your wet cheeks, “he wants to see you”.

He makes a sound of acknowledgement as he strokes his thumb along the back of your hand. You tighten your grip, still habitually cautious of the sutures that are no longer embedded into his skin. “What a kid wants isn’t always what’s good for them”.

“That’s priceless coming from you,” you huff, and he knocks his shoulder against yours in response. Bittersweet, you recall how you sat beside him on a hospital bed just like this five years ago, IV hooked into his veins to ward off infection. Hair white, skin mottled, growing accustomed to your freely given affections. 

You breathe, the exhale long, and lean your weight into his side. Your hands, still interwoven, rest together in your lap. “We just wanted to be closer to you,” you tell him, your apology unspoken, “Kaiyo misses you. I miss you. Even if I’m angry with you, don’t ever believe that we aren’t thinking of you”. 

The word sorry does not come naturally to Touya, it never has. Remorse was best shown through action, overbearing attention and unnecessary gift giving that only ever left you wondering who he’d stolen from. When he rests his cheek atop your head, nuzzling softly into your hair, you know he’s trying to apologise as well. 

So you recount everything that happened over the past two weeks. Of nightmares and paranoia, of old photographs and starless ceilings, of autumn bellflowers and cultural dissonance. You rush each story, unsure of how much time you would be allowed in this place, nor how often you would be able to visit. And he listens, slowly sagging against you the more you speak, your bodies two beams upheld by the other. 

“Oh, and the driver called him ‘young master’ at first,” a small grin pulls at your lips at his amused snort, the only sign that he was still awake, “I know. I told him right away not… not to call him that. I knew you’d hate that”.

His muscles tense then as an intrusive knock reverberates throughout the room, a white knuckled grip on your hand at the interruption. The doctor from before steps into the threshold and is followed closely by one of the guards, eight eyes blinking simultaneously as she takes in the scene, her expression unreadable. 

“Your allotted time for visitation is up,” she says, her voice softer than before and perhaps even tinted with regret, “I’ll give you a few moments to say goodbye and notify your driver”. 

A part of you wishes that the wordless goodbye you gave back at the hospital by the hyacinth beds had been your last, because this time around it is impossibly harder. If his expression is anything to go by you think, if he could, Touya would freeze your hands together in an eternal block of ice. 

“Touya,” he begrudgingly meets your gaze, “what happened to you was undoubtedly a tragedy. Still you— you hurt people, and you need to accept that. I’m not going to tell you to forgive anyone, you don’t have to, but…”

You lean forward, pressing your forward to his “…even if others can’t, I want you to forgive yourself”.

“For who I was or for who I wasn’t?” he mutters, so close you can see the stray white stripes in his eyelashes. The doctor clears her throat quietly where she lingers by the door, and so you get to your feet. His throat bobs as he swallows, expression suddenly pleading as you let him go, and you take his face between your hands. 

His cheeks are rough, the sore skin raised under the pads of your thumb. “For all of it,” you say. 

You’d always thought that love didn’t need to be so complicated. Sometimes it was as simple as I see you, and I understand you. Sometimes it was dirtying your hands to make their life a little easier. Sometimes it simply took the form of an illusion, and all you needed was for someone to point out the tangled lines, the true image irreversibly seen. 

“We love you. If that means anything to you, then take advantage of this second chance and let yourself be better”. 

Afraid of testing their patience, you step away from the bed, heading towards the door where your guide awaits. While only four strides, it feels like a lifetime, and you find yourself dragging your feet to stall for time. The thought of leaving him here made your stomach sink, an invisible magnetism tied to your spine and begging you to turn around. 

You startle as the guard suddenly steps forward, recounting Touya’s patient number with warning, but the doctor holds her hand out to settle him. You’re tugged back against a firm chest, familiar if not for the deathly temperature, arms circling firmly around your waist. 

Their presence falls away as he kisses you, and the sensation is new. No awkward angle, no need to be aware of his sutures, no copper tang left on your tongue as you pull back. Once, twice, and thrice — Touya kisses you without regard for time he was wasting, for the people who were waiting to take you home, and you give him every extra second you have. 

“Tell Kaiyo I’ll be out by the time he starts his training at JAXA,” he murmurs. You laugh wetly, finally forced to take your leave. 

“Better make that ten years sooner, you hear me?” 

The door begins to shut behind you and he’s crying again, eyes dry as he calls out to you.

“No promises!”

[holdmyowos]

(Mature) A Taste of the Night Switch Eren Yeager x reader TW: oral (reader receiving), unprotected sex, fingering, foul languageSwitch deprived virgin Eren x gender neutral reader (Mature Content) Guys I found this playlist it is very underrated. If you like Eren, check it out. https://youtu.be/zZ-LmC5_OjI Eren Yeager. Your hero. It wasn’t his fault he was a titan, but everyone treated him as a monster, even though he had shown his loyalty time and time again, serving the scouts. They kept him in a dungeon. It looked normal enough, but perhaps it was slightly titan proof. They feared him, but trapping him wasn’t going to make him more likely to help their cause. No doubt if he wanted to, he would easily have destroyed the place by turning into a titan. “You can’t be too careful,” people said, whenever talking about him. Some, the religious, crossed themselves in his presence or when talking about him. This imprisonment isn’t careful, it's stupidity. You always thought that. Eren was treated like an animal, only let out of his cage when they needed him for something, which, most of the time, was for fighting, and the other part was interrogation. He never had any leisure time, only staring at the walls of his cell, thinking of who knows what. You were often the person sent down to give him his meals, or supervise during baths, though you didn’t look at him. There were always one or two guards, too, staring him down as if he would do something any minute. He could, but you knew he wouldn’t. Just because a king has the power to kill innocent people, if they are a good ruler, they’ll try not to. When you gave him his food, which you were often told to do, since you were one of the few people not terrified by his existence. You always slipped notes in from his friends with the napkins, sometimes writing on the undersides yourself, telling him to bear it, keep up the good effort, what a great person he was. If he ever actually got to read any of it, you didn’t know, considering how the guards always watched. He always slipped them under his pillow case before the sentries could see the writing. Perhaps he pretended to sleep while actually reading them. After working for the scouts, being kind, everyone trusted you. This was his one night of release, where he could leave the cell and do anything he wanted. As a ‘gift’, they let him out for 8 hours. Something others would take for granted, thinking nothing of it. Night, not day. It made people much less likely to notice him. You were told to secretly guard him, report back if he did anything suspicious. You wouldn’t tell on him, no way, no matter what he did, but if they were giving you permission to go follow him on his one day to keep secrets, you were going to see what he was up to. The sun was down, and the sky was dark. You gave the signal. The guard unlocked the gate, and Eren stretched, and slowly walked out of the door, as if a house cat, seeing the door open for the first time, the possibility of the outdoors calling. From there, cautious, he set a fast pace of walking away. You followed him out of the barracks, and he seemed to have a place in mind of where he was going. You almost lost him a couple times, a combination of his fast walking and you trying to be stealthy. You had borrowed a plain scout cape with a hood on it, concealing you. You saw him duck into a bar, and you stopped your feet, disappointed, but not entirely surprised. Wasn’t he 19? Could he even drink? You shook your head. If you were in his situation, wouldn’t the first thing you’d do is go and get drunk? You walked in cautiously, if they hadn’t stopped him, they wouldn’t stop you. Everyone stopped to stare at you, and you looked around. Eren wasn’t there. How did he give you the slip? You turned back around, headed out, and bumped into someone. They were so close, they must have been an inch or two behind you as you were walking in. “Boo.” He said. You looked up, and it was Eren. He flipped your hood, revealing who you were. He pressed you against the gray stone wall as a couple walked into the

bar, their faces in shadows. He took his hand off your mouth, instead grabbed your hand, and pulled you with him. He started walking, slower this time, allowing you to easily keep up. “I knew they’d send someone after me. Pointless to try to hide. ” Instead of being angry, he replied, “I suppose I can’t put it past you for following orders. Well then, be my guest. Follow me all night. I’d much rather have you than another guard. Who knows, maybe we can do something fun.” He put an earbud in the ear opposite from you. Where did he possibly get that? What was it attached to? Was he communicating with someone? You realized that you had stopped walking, and he was looking back at you, gently pulling on your arm. “Come on, I don’t have all day,” he complained. You apologized, and kept up. You heard some loud music, the beat dropping hard, it was blaring, but quiet to you. You looked around, and saw nothing. It sounded far off. You realized that it must have been coming from his earbud. “You’re going to lose your hearing, like that,” you muttered quietly. “Maybe,” he hummed. “But I heal so quickly, I doubt it.” You walked a bit, and he stopped in front of a house. He opened it, and stepped aside for you to enter. Was this his? It was small, and looked like it had been recently cleaned, but no one lived here, since the place wasn’t decorated at all, and the only furniture was a dresser, a lamp, and a bed. There wasn’t even a fridge or television. He shut the door and locked it. Should that be a red flag? He pulls open the dresser, and you try and peer in, but he pushes you away. He takes a bottle of something, probably wine, out, and lays it on the top of the dresser. “You can have some, if you want. It doesn’t work on me, as much as I wish it did. You take the bottle in your hands, turning it over. Maybe later. “Come on, hurry up. We don’t have very much time. I only have a night off.” He pauses, his shirt halfway off. What is he doing? You can see his nipples. You look away, blush flooding your cheeks. You had just wanted to talk, but if he wanted to do this instead, could you say no? You had never thought of him in a sexual way, but now that you looked, probably the only thing he could do in that cell was exercise, push ups and sit-ups. It showed on his body. His dark hair was messy and long, no one had bothered to help him with it. It wasn’t too bad, though. Under his eyes, lines showing that he had recently been in titan form. Every second, they faded a little bit more. In a couple hours, they’d be gone. His eyes were halfway closed, and you could tell he was thinking bad thoughts. He sighed, a breathy, needy sound. The noise made its way down to your core, and you were sure your cheeks were flaming. He sat you down on the bed. “You were the only one that was kind to me, this whole time I'd been there. Even my friends can't visit me. Please, let me return the favor. If not, I’ll just take matters into my own hands.” His hand traveled up your leg, but you flinched away from him. His eyes hardened, disappointed. “Fine, be like that. But if you don’t want me, then have the decency to act like it. Yes or no, I’m still having a good time tonight.” You looked down at his crotch, if he was this horny, then, how long had he been planning this? Did he know you liked him that much? You felt your underwear was no longer dry. “No, don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself later. I just want to taste you. Eat you. Please, let me. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to resist grabbing your wrist and keeping you in the cell with me. But I couldn't do that. It’d put you in danger, since you would be with me. It has to be a secret. You are my candle in the darkness.” On his knees, he has fully taken off his shirt, and you can’t help but stare. He grabs your hips. “Please, I need you.” You cracked. “Of course, I’d do anything for you. I’m just surprised you’d want to please me instead of yourself.” The words slipped out of your mouth. “Don’t think so lowly of me.” He growled. “I recently. Turned 19. A whole year being

legal, and I wasn’t able to do anything that whole damn time. I was so desperate for someone.” He slid down your bottoms and gently took off your underwear. He thrust a finger in your hole and you cried out. "S-sorry. I… haven't done this before." You guided his fingers, and he had you feeling good in no time. He seemed so desperate to learn, to make you feel better. You could feel that you were close. He must have seen something on your face that gave it away, or perhaps it was the way you squeezed around his fingers when they slid out. He placed his mouth between your thighs, and you felt his hot breath hit you. He was staring, a starved man waiting for the prayer to be over, to finally be allowed a meal. You held the back of his head and pushed him towards you. He didn't hesitate, he stuck out his tongue and went at it like a pro. You couldn't help the noises that came out of your mouth. Even better, he really seemed to be genuinely enjoying it too. When you came, he gulped it down. He stayed there, at your knees, staring up at you, as if wanting more. "Want to… actually… do it?" You put the offer out there. "If you really want. Are you sure? I might not be able to help myself-“ you cut him off. “Yes, please, I want you. You’re my idol, Eren. You don't know how much you mean to me.” He pushed you into the bed and suffocated you with his kisses. You had never dreamed you’d end up like this with such an amazing person. He let out a couple of loud huffs as you sat on his lap, slowly taking him in. “Damn, I’m already- fuck, I don’t think we should do this. I might spend my whole night like this uhf.” His words were stopped as you rocked gently on him. “I’m warning you, if you don’t get off right now, I’m going to do something that’s your fault.” You just kept doing it, enjoying him underneath you. He was probably a virgin, never having the chance of doing stuff before. However, he was obviously well educated. “Go ahead, I don’t mind.” He brought his face up to your ear, and you felt his body rubbing against you. He huffed in your ear, and slowly fell still under you, and let out a shameless moan in your ear as he released, trembling. He clutched you tight, knocking your breath out, and gently lessening his pressure on you until he was hugging you gently. “That was so fast. I wasn’t expecting that. I have all night. I wonder how many times you can make me do that. I've never felt like that before, never done that, but you felt so good. I need more, baby.” Your hands were all over each other, grabbing, needy. Knowing you might not be allowed again, perhaps ever. Every second you were together, you got wetter, everything he did, sexy. He would never have a supervised bath that you weren’t staring at ever again. He spent most of the night shoving you into the mattress, fucking you from all the positions you wanted to try. In total, he made you cum four times, and he did at least twice that many. You were drained, but happy, when the sun rose, and he walked back into the barracks. You followed about five minutes later. “So, how was he?” Your supervisor whispered to you later in the day, after allowing you time to rest. “He didn’t do anything I wouldn’t approve of, sir.” You answered truthfully. “Well, I’ll be damned. Who knew? Perhaps we should give him more free time after all.” #erenxreader

legal, and I wasn’t able to do anything that whole damn time. I was so desperate for someone.” He slid down your bottoms and gently took off your underwear. He thrust a finger in your hole and you cried out. "S-sorry. I… haven't done this before." You guided his fingers, and he had you feeling good in no time. He seemed so desperate to learn, to make you feel better. You could feel that you were close. He must have seen something on your face that gave it away, or perhaps it was the way you squeezed around his fingers when they slid out. He placed his mouth between your thighs, and you felt his hot breath hit you. He was staring, a starved man waiting for the prayer to be over, to finally be allowed a meal. You held the back of his head and pushed him towards you. He didn't hesitate, he stuck out his tongue and went at it like a pro. You couldn't help the noises that came out of your mouth. Even better, he really seemed to be genuinely enjoying it too. When you came, he gulped it down. He stayed there, at your knees, staring up at you, as if wanting more. "Want to… actually… do it?" You put the offer out there. "If you really want. Are you sure? I might not be able to help myself-“ you cut him off. “Yes, please, I want you. You’re my idol, Eren. You don't know how much you mean to me.” He pushed you into the bed and suffocated you with his kisses. You had never dreamed you’d end up like this with such an amazing person. He let out a couple of loud huffs as you sat on his lap, slowly taking him in. “Damn, I’m already- fuck, I don’t think we should do this. I might spend my whole night like this uhf.” His words were stopped as you rocked gently on him. “I’m warning you, if you don’t get off right now, I’m going to do something that’s your fault.” You just kept doing it, enjoying him underneath you. He was probably a virgin, never having the chance of doing stuff before. However, he was obviously well educated. “Go ahead, I don’t mind.” He brought his face up to your ear, and you felt his body rubbing against you. He huffed in your ear, and slowly fell still under you, and let out a shameless moan in your ear as he released, trembling. He clutched you tight, knocking your breath out, and gently lessening his pressure on you until he was hugging you gently. “That was so fast. I wasn’t expecting that. I have all night. I wonder how many times you can make me do that. I've never felt like that before, never done that, but you felt so good. I need more, baby.” Your hands were all over each other, grabbing, needy. Knowing you might not be allowed again, perhaps ever. Every second you were together, you got wetter, everything he did, sexy. He would never have a supervised bath that you weren’t staring at ever again. He spent most of the night shoving you into the mattress, fucking you from all the positions you wanted to try. In total, he made you cum four times, and he did at least twice that many. You were drained, but happy, when the sun rose, and he walked back into the barracks. You followed about five minutes later. “So, how was he?” Your supervisor whispered to you later in the day, after allowing you time to rest. “He didn’t do anything I wouldn’t approve of, sir.” You answered truthfully. “Well, I’ll be damned. Who knew? Perhaps we should give him more free time after all.” #erenxreader#erenyeager

#erenjaeger

#aot

#smut

#erenyaeger

#erenyeager

#aotsmut

#anime

#aotxreader

#erenxreader

[holdmyowos]

Hawks x Gender Neutral Reader x Dabi smut

Dubcon, cussing, semi public, smut

You sat up, panting hard, a blush slowly creeping across your cheeks. What. The. Hell. You had just had the most realistic wet dream ever. You laid down to get back to sleep, but you couldn’t. You glanced at the alarm. 5:18. You rubbed your eyes and stretched. You couldn’t forget the way Hawks felt, his hands roving up and down your body. Your blush deepened as you remembered the whole dream, the twitching of his cock inside you, you covered your face in embarrassment, even though the rest of the league was still asleep. You had slept in Hawks’s room, since your old room was being renovated. He had given you permission, and then some, in fact, he insisted. What a gentleman. Maybe that was why you had that dream, getting to sleep in one of your crush’s beds. Sinful thoughts pervaded your mind. In the dim glow of your night light, you looked down, seeing your nether regions doused in slick. “Oh fuck.” You muttered, getting hornier by the second. You needed relief. You already got your fluid all over his bed, but that would be fine. He wasn’t coming back for another five days, which gave you plenty of time to clean it up. You quietly got up, quickly moving your way through the hallway back to your own bedroom, reaching for the door when someone scared the hell out of you when you felt them behind you. You turned your head around as arms wrapped around your waist, holding you in place. Crystal blue green eyes stared back at you from out of the darkness. "You startle easily baby. I wasn't exactly quiet. You should be more aware of your surroundings." His hands lowered, hovering over your lower stomach. He sometimes acted like this around you. Usually, you would swat his hand away. This time, you did nothing. "What are you doing out this late? Nothing good, that's for sure." You held deathly still, unsure of what you wanted to do. You really wanted Hawks, but he wasn't there. Could you settle for Dabi? He cocked his eyebrow, no doubt surprised that you didn't knock him back. It was no secret he wanted you. His breath was hot on your neck. Seeing how you didn't stop his advances, he gently slid his lips along your throat, the metal slightly catching along your skin. Your breathing shuddered, and he chuckled. "Looking for some real fun tonight, are you? I'm so happy. I won't disappoint." He lifted your shirt and pressed his body flush against yours, his hips on your ass. "If you're really not going to tell me no this time, I might as well make the most of it. I guess you're the one surprising me tonight." His cold hands slipped under your shirt, making you shiver. You could feel the goosebumps as his hands trailed higher. "Won't you be mine for tonight? I'll make this time worth it." He gently bit down on your neck, his hands going under the tight bra. His cold hands against one of your warmest areas made you shudder, and you felt the nubs hardening under the touch. "You haven't even said a thing since I saw you." He growled. "Why don't you fucking answer me?" He bit down hard on your neck as he squeezed your boobs. "A-aah" the quiet sound left your mouth before you could stop it. "That's kinda nice. Let's see how much I can make you moan tonight." He took one of his hands out from under your shirt, and you realized how good it had felt. "D-dabi, should we really be doing this in the hall?" He just chuckled, and replied back in a deep whisper, "of course not." You heard the sound of his belt unclicking, and the sound of moving cloth. "Can you feel that?" he said, his voice gentle. You weren't quite sure what he meant. By this time, both of his hands had left your skin, he must have been preoccupied by something else. "I said..." he growled, flipping you around and pressing your back against the wooden wall. "...can you fucking feel this?" He harshly whispered. Through your clothes, you felt a hard thing rubbing between your thighs. You looked down. His cock was freed from his clothes, pressing against the seam of your pants. You felt the wetness of him permeate through. You gasped. "Y-yes." He gently pushed himself in and out

of the crack between your things, and you saw his turquoise eyes slowly roll partway back into his head. "Baby…" A sudden light in the hall cut him off, the yellow light seeping into the darkness. A door had opened. Shigaraki shut the door behind him as he entered the hall, the light disappearing as he did so, and the three of you were enveloped in the darkness. Dabi pressed his hips hard against the depression in your pants where your hole was, hiding the fact that his underwear and pants were pulled down at the front. You let out a gasp as Dabi covered your mouth with one hand and squeezed your neck gently with another. "What the hell are you doing out here, cinders?" Shigaraki's voice rasped. You could only assume he meant Dabi. "Nothing, just choking this dumbass, teaching her a lesson for stealing something." Shigaraki sighed and moved on, opening the door to the outside. "Fine, as long as you don't kill her. Good luck, Y/N." He shut the door with more force than necessary, and Dabi let go of you and backed up a few steps when he was out of sight. You breathed in the air and recovered. "Was that really necessary?" You said, rubbing your throat where his hand had been. He didn't hold you very tight, but it had been a little difficult to breathe. "Yep." He all but dragged you back to Hawks's room. You were about to protest when he slammed you on the bed. Seeing your expression, he scoffed at you. "I know you're in love with him. I just don't see what he has that I don't." You refrained from answering that nonexistent rhetorical question he had partway brought up. "Tonight, you're mine, got that? Pretend that I'm him, if that helps." He said bitterly. "You've let me go this far, so there's no turning back now, even if you wanted to." He shut the door and straddled you, flipping so that you were on top. He gently pressed back into you. "Bounce on it a little for me, won't you?" He chuckled, as if he told a joke, but it turned into a groan as you actually did as he asked. He covered his mouth with one hand, and you saw a blush spread across his face. You stopped, and he breathed in a few breaths of air, as if gasping. When it returned to normal, he said "I didn't think you'd actually do that for me. You're so damn perfect. Why can't you just want me back? I see it in your eyes, you really want him instead." His eyes glistened, a tear flowing from his face and for once you kinda felt bad for him. He wiped it off with his sleeve before he thought you could see it. "No matter, I'm going to make this night one you can't ever forget, so even if you're screwing him you'll think about now." He flipped you over faster than you thought possible, put one hand gripping tightly to your right shoulder for leverage, lifting up your left leg to the side. "Hope you're ready for me. You're sick, you know, to already be this wet for someone you don't even have feelings for." Guilt washed over you as you were reminded of what got you here in the first place. That stupid, stupid, lovely dream. You gasped as he started pounding into you. So that was what he was doing, preparing how to best fuck you. You didn't even know a dick could fill you up that far. You were unable to suppress your moans. He silently kept at it, the only sound he made was the occasional huff. "Don't you see how much your body likes mine? You were made for me. Choose me." His words were violent, and his actions matched. Somehow, he picked up his rough pace even more. Your hands clenched around the shirt he still had on, squeezing his sides tightly, no doubt your nails piercing his skin. You heard the slap of your skin every time. He started reaching the part in you that really made you moan. "Dabi please it's too much!" You screamed, tears flooding your vision. He covered your mouth with his hand, and you gently bit it to lessen your own pain. He didn't stop, each thrust now hitting that special spot. Your tears dropped down your face as you felt unstoppable pleasure. You screamed, only to be muffled by his hand. You dug your nails into him and for the first time he

let out a real moan. You came against him and he shuddered in surprise, thrusting a few more times to give you the last bit of pleasure before taking himself out and cumming right under you, on the bed. He let go of you and stroked himself a couple times while the stream of white slowly ended. Breathlessly, he got up and pulled his pants back on. "Better wash that out before your bird gets home." He smirked at you, your naked body laid out against the bed, covered in his cum. He slowly shut the door. "Good luck."

See Part 2, for more on Hawks.

[holdmyowos]

#my art #bnha #tododeku #tododekubaku #bakudeku #todobaku #bnhaship #myhero #myheroacademia

[holdmyowos]

Jirou's ear jack is a little odd, but Iida has two engines in his calves like... how does he maintain it? Does he have a way to open his legs? Does he need surgery everytime?

It’s so weird, because what is the source of power, does he burn carbon hydrates, fat and proteins? I would never assume for the human body to be able to maintain a mile without burning your entire body if your body is literally a racing car, hahaha

[holdmyowos]

Anyone else notice how Deku’s pupils are now white in the anime? No? Just me? Ok...

You did? Yea, it’s wierd. After 4 seasons of black pupils they just go and change like that. Perhaps the oddest part is that his pupils turning white in season 4 actually meant something, (being mind controlled) so them turning white now is really confusing. Also, how are they going to easily show that he is being mind controlled from now on? Manga spoilers: he does get controlled again by Shinso. Also, on the covers, the pupil color changed on the cover of volume 24, but on the back cover of volume 25 he is back to black pupils. Furthermore, his pupils were not colored in the EXACT same volume. What’s going on here?

#bnha #mha #my hero academia #boko no hero academia #deku #izuku #izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku #midoriya #dekuswhiteyes #dekuswhiteeyes #bnha conspiracy theories #bnha fan theories #bnha fantheories

[holdmyowos]

Ode to my hero academia

#poem #anime #manga #ode #bnha #mha #my hero academia #boko no hero academia

[holdmyowos]

Colored in a manga panel

#pop step #popstep #bnha #bnhagirl #bnha girl #Anime #anime girl #animegirl #cute girls

[holdmyowos]

Fake Virus Tumblr Warning!

Hey guys. Time to talk about some real serious stuff here. I was on my iPhone, and looked up my username, ‘Holdmyowos Tumblr’ and I clicked on the site without looking too closely at the link. You can still see it, first result on Google. It was really convincing, and I thought that it was legitimately my Tumblr page. Then, ads started popping up all over. I thought, well, Tumblr has some ads, so maybe if I’m not logged in there’s a lot more. But, after scrolling for a few seconds, 57 virus warnings went off so I immediately got out and hard reset my phone. Everything seems good now. I’ve seen others have had similar experiences, posting about them on Reddit. Please check your links before clicking! This specific one sent me to Tumgir dot com. At first glance, it looks exactly like tumblr. They did this on purpose, same first letters, same amount of total letters. Be careful out there!

#virus warning #tumblr news #important #please pay attention #warning

[holdmyowos]

Dabi x Reader NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) He doesn’t give a fuck about you afterwards. Clean yourself up.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) He actually doesn’t mind his scars all that much. As long as they keep people from prying into what he’s trying to do. Sometimes they remind him of his past, which serves as a reminder why he’s a villain, doing what he’s doing. On you, he likes playing with your hair.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) It might be slightly hotter than usual because of his quirk. He loves seeing it on you or in you. He wouldn’t be too pleased if you swallowed without him getting to see it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) He won’t hesitate in a moment during sex to burn you if you defy him, but he might feel guilty later seeing the scar he left. He also thinks Hawks is kind of hot, but he won’t admit it.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) Despite his appearance, with all the money he ‘borrowed’ from his dad, he had plenty of chances to get with people, and has a pretty good amount of experience.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) He loves any way he can see his dick going into you. He’s always a top dom, but if you somehow beat him for dominance he’ll let you have it once, and secretly like it, but he’ll put you back in your place next time.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) He teases you all the time, but other than that, he’ll never make a joke or anything.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) He probably keeps it hairless, not wanting to ruin his black-hair’s ‘natural’ edginess.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) He isn’t really sure how to be very romantic, and he prefers just having sex. What’s the point of a relationship otherwise, that’s what he thinks. He got you flowers like once, and that’s about it.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) He prefers you, but if he’s on a long mission he might do it a couple times. As long as you keep him satisfied, he never does it.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) Cumplay, Sadist, Gunplay, pretty much anything that makes you feel like you’re in danger, even if you really aren’t. That includes choking and breathplay.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) Probably on a bed, he doesn’t really like doing it in public. He might do it in a restroom or somewhere slightly more public if he’s desperate, though.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) If someone else is hitting on you, and you seem to be enjoying it, he’ll teach you a lesson on who you belong to. He gets jealous easily, afraid that you’ll leave him.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) I have a hard time thinking that he has any. He both loves and hates being called daddy, because for one, it shows him you know who’s dominant, but at the same time he thinks it’s really weird, especially how he hates his dad. He doesn’t like it when you think you can be dom.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)  He prefers receiving, but he’ll give it too if you want him to. Just be prepared to beg for it, and you’ll get it.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) He starts out pounding you, but he becomes slow at the end, preferring the sheath himself inside you and feel your walls constrict around him.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) Since he’s a villain, he hardly ever has time for actual sex, even though he prefers it. Mostly all you two will do is quickies, but he doesn’t really enjoy it very much. When he finally finds himself with free time, you better be in the bedroom ready for him, or he’ll drag you in there and throw you on the bed.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.) He doesn’t mind risk, but he just doesn’t like doing it in public. Like I said before, he would do it in the bathroom without a second thought.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) It really depends on the situation, and how aroused he is. If he has the free time, he could stay up all night with you, edging himself until he finally cums in the morning.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) He definitely owns a lot of toys. He loves trying out new sex toys on you, seeing the new ways you come apart for him. He usually wouldn’t use them on himself, preferring to use you instead.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) He is the biggest tease. If you have nipple piercings, he will twist and touch them all the time.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) He gently moans in that deep voice of his right before he cums. Other than that, it’s mostly incoherent muttering about how good you feel against him. He might start gasping if he is edged for too long, but he won’t admit defeat until you’ve came first.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) Being with him he would like to stay mysterious as possible, all part of his angsty-twenty-year-old vibe, but if you stay with him long enough, he’ll tell you his secrets because he trusts you.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) He has multiple piercings on his dick, no doubt. He loves seeing them go in you and stimulating you. It’s one of the few parts of him that isn’t totally burned.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) Once a day. That’s what he wants. If it’s only a quickie, he could do a couple.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) He won’t let sex effect his sleep schedule, so if he was tired before, he might sleep, but otherwise he will just tuck you in and let you sleep.

#dabi x reader #bnha x reader #dabi #bnha

[holdmyowos]

Escape (Hawks x Reader)

In which you get railed by Hawks when he learns your secret.

Includes: kidnapping, bondage, angsty themes, use of word 'slut'

You wake up, and you can immediately tell something isn't right. The lighting is all wrong to be your bedroom. You look around, dazed and wary. It seems to be somewhere underground, since there were no windows. When you notice that, you also realize that you're tied to a bed, hands bound behind you to the headboard. Shit. You must have been kidnapped by a villain somehow. You try moving, try to get out, but the ropes keep you in place. You try to calm down. You were trained for situations like this. The problem was, your partner (pun intended) hero, Hawks, didn't know where you were. You were always supposed to know where your partner was, but you hadn't even talked in a few days.

"Hey there pretty little birdie." Your heart freezes. Or maybe he did know where you were. Hawks steps out of the shadows, his golden eyes burning into yours. You don't know what to say, utterly shocked. He straddled your thighs. Your cheeks burned. You looked down to where your bodies met, but he takes his hand, cups your head, and tilts your head gently back up to stare back at his face. He was so hot. "Never mind that. So, tell me, what made you think it was okay to stop coming by?" A million thoughts raced to your mind. So somehow he knew of your trespassing in the night? No, you'd been too careful, or so you thought. Perhaps he just meant how you didn't come by during the day as much as you had. "I-I was busy. I couldn't come over as much as you asked." You answered dryly. He slaps your face, and you turn away, the place stinging. "Look at me." You slowly turn your eyes back to his. He smiles, his eyes looking over your lips. "Breaking into my house, lovebird. Don't play dumb. You should have known you never would get away with it." He gives you a moment to process the information before kissing you on the cheek where he hit you. You can feel the heat rise in your face. "H-How long have you known?" You stuttered. "A month or so." He shrugs. "You should have told me." You scoffed, amazed at how he could have known for that long. He lets out a dry laugh. "Pfft. You're scolding me?" He rolled his eyes. "I didn't want..." He sighed, rubbing your wings at the joint where they met your skin. Fuck, that felt good. You leaned into his touch. He smiled more, getting a bit rough with his movements. You had to put in everything you had into not moaning. How did he know that turned you on so much? "I wasn't sure how to tell you I knew. But... I just couldn't wait any longer, you know? You've ignored me for a couple weeks. A man has his needs, you know."

He licks his lips, slowly trailing his fingers down your shirt to your boobs, gently fondling them. You finally grasp the situation you're in. Hawks kidnapped you, tied you up, and had blackmail on you. It made your core ache. It shouldn't have, it really shouldn't, but it did. He was straddling you, and whether it was to stop you from escaping, mess with you, or to pleasure himself, you couldn't tell. "You just loved my cock so much you couldn't fucking help yourself, isn't that right, slut?" He squeezes you particularly hard through your clothes. You feel yourself getting wetter. There's no reason to deny it. "Y-yes, H-hawks." You breathe. He lets out a shuddering breath. "So compliment. I love that. Now, how about you beg? Beg for my dick in you. You've been getting it for free for way too long without any repercussions. I'd love to see you, such a great hero, come undone for me." Did he mean that? "Fuck yes, that'd be so cute baby bird." It seemed as if he did mean it. You swallowed. "H-hawks, I've fantasized and dreamt about this moment. But this is way better than I ever could have imagined. I want you so badly, it hurts." You honestly tell. "Nice choice of wording. When I'm done with you, it'll hurt way more." His threat makes you shiver with lust. "Oh? Are you such a fucking little cockslut that this turns you on? Answer truthfully." You nod for him. "Babe, you're so submissive when I want you to be. Shit, I can't take it anymore. That's too hot." He unbuckled his belt and pulled down his pants, revealing the tent in his pants.

"Now, I wanna see those pretty lips of yours around my dick. Suck me off. I know you've done it before, bitch." "B-but my hands-" you start. "Hush, you don't need your hands, now open up." He takes off his boxers, and you're hit by his sexy smell. "Y-yes sir." He roughly shoves himself into your mouth without a warning. Your mouth immediately constricts around his length, trying to make him feel as good as possible. "Oh fuck, when I'm done with you, you'll be stuffed full of my cum." You didn't want to disappoint him, so you hollowed your cheeks, tears coming to your eyes as you moved up and down his shaft. "Yes, yes, yes mmm stuff your mouth full of my cock birdie yes. You're doing great. Doing all the work for me." He closed his eyes halfway, very gently rocking into your mouth with an occasional small thrust. He shuddered, holding the back of your neck and guided you deeper onto him. You felt the tears leaking from your eyes, but it was for him. You wouldn't choke, you couldn't. He was counting on you. His eyes fluttered open, and at the sight of you in tears, he comes undone. "Aah... mmmm." He thrusts one more time and stills, you swallow his hot load as it comes out.

After it all comes out, he pulls away from you, humping your thigh instead. You whine, not being able to touch him. "I don't have the words for how good you make me feel birdie. I just couldn't go without you. You turn me on so badly. I can't stop pleasing myself for a moment. Now, open your mouth. He keeps humping you as he says this. You obediently obey, showing how you swallowed. His fingers tremblingly enter your mouth, making the iconic v shape with your tongue in between. "You're so hot. How could you have fallen for a guy like me?" Was he being serious? It was totally the other way around.

"Feel free to come by anytime again, songbird." He lines himself up with you, taking his time. "But don't expect me to be so gentle as I was when I was when I was asleep. Are you ready, kid? I don't care if you aren't!" The sound of his hips bucking against you filled the room. He flapped his wings a little with each thrust, cooling you off. The snapping noise was a constant, and he set the pace fast and rough. You wanted to grab onto him, but couldn't, instead being railed into the mattress. Way too quickly, you climaxed, cumming against him. He kept going for a few seconds, then took himself out. "Oh no, I don't think I told you to do that." He gently stills his hips in you and grinds on you. It makes you miss the rough pace he was at earlier. "P-please Keigo, f-fuck me senseless." That seems like just the thing he wanted to hear, because in no time at all, he was right back at it. "I can't believe it. You just came and you're still so needy for me." A few feathers shot off of his wings, cutting the ropes that held you. Immediately, your hands gripped his hips. He slung your legs over his shoulders. He hit at an angle that kept ramming into that one spot that made you feel the most pleasure. It hurt, hell it did, but it felt amazing. "You feel so good around me..." His thrusts grew few and far between as he said this, deepening every time. Soon, with every thrust, he was fully sheathed against you. You knew this was going to hurt tomorrow. His thrusts all but stopped and he gently pushed himself all the way in and let out his load. You felt his hot seed pushing into you. You felt something in you snap too, and soon you were cumming again. He stayed in for a minute, then gently took himself out.

You unwrapped his legs from him as he bent down to kiss you on the mouth. His tongue muscle slid into your mouth. You backed away. "R-really? How many rounds are you going to do?" You said nervously. "After what you did, you need more punishment. You've been too happy this whole time. Mess with the sleeping bear, or well, bird, you get the claws. I mean, you even learned how to fly and pretended you were scared to jump off a roof. Oh, no. We've barely even begun." The malicious glint in his eyes tells you it's the truth. "You could fucking faint and I'd keep pounding you." You feel his length already hardening again.

"I didn't know you had this side to you." You said in a whisper. He chuckled darkly. "There's a lot that even you don't know about me."

Part 1:

https://holdmyowos.tumblr.com/post/645176778242064384/little-bird-hawks-x-yandre-reader 

People who asked for part 2! @twig-rose @munchkinzies @hawksadmirer 

#Bnha #my hero x reader #hawks x reader #bnha x reader gender neutral

[holdmyowos]

Please (Tamaki x reader smut)

Includes:dubcon, oral, unprotected sex, very slight vore (not really, but just putting it here in case), face sitting

No One’s POV

Tamaki Amajiki could not sleep. He tossed and turned, but try as he might, he could not. He couldn’t think of anything keeping him awake, yet here he was, restless. Sleep usually came so naturally to him. This was an odd night. He got out of bed, giving up on the notion of a full night’s sleep, and glanced at the clock. Almost midnight. There was no sound, so he had no one to go and talk to, since they were all likely sleeping soundly. He got out one of his hero work books and reviewed it. No reason to waste time, he reasoned. If he was up, he might as well be doing something.

Suddenly, there was a muffled noise from the bedroom next to him. Was that a scream? With his ears, he would have been the only person to have heard it. What was happening? That was Y/N’s bedroom, one of the few third years at U.A., and one of his closest friends. Was she being kidnapped, or attacked by a villain? Tamaki dashed out his door and slowly opened Y/N’s cautiously. Seeing and hearing nothing more than breathing from one person, he crept in and slowly shut the door behind him with a very slight click only he could hear. Since he kept his clothes on when he slept, (he liked how they hugged his body and provided comfort and warmth) he did not need to bother getting any on.

Oddly enough, after surveying the room, there didn’t seem to be any villains there at all. “Y/N, a-aare you okay?” He asked in a hushed whisper, not wanting to wake the other people in the dorms. Perhaps she had just stubbed her toe or something. Why had he come into her room? He felt shame flood him. He had probably read the situation entirely wrong. He had wanted to come in like a knight in shining armor to save his beloved Y/N, yet here he was, just intruding in her room in the middle of the night. He looked down at her. She was breathing deeply. Asleep. Should he wake her up? Was she having a nightmare? The thoughts confused him. He didn’t know what to do. Should he ask Mirio? He shook his head. No, then he’d have to wake him up too. He knelt next to the bed, and turned her head so it wasn’t being practically suffocated by the pillow. He brushed the hair away from her face with one of his hands. She was so pretty. He always wanted to tell her he was in love with her, but he would never have the courage. He started to get up, to leave, seeing that everything seemed all right.

“Tamaki, please... ” He froze, startled, and turned back to her, alarmed. Her deep breaths told him that she was still sleeping. How could she know he was here? Or perhaps was she dreaming of him? “I need you Tamaki…” She stretched and changed positions. Tamaki felt heat rising in him, sure he was turning red. That was hot. He felt his cock twitch, and turned even deeper red. Did she feel the same way about him as he did her? She must have, to have dreamt of such a thing. No, no, no. Tamaki told himself. Maybe she’s just having a nightmare and she wants me to save her. He told himself, shaking off his lewd thoughts, ashamed of thinking so lowly of Y/N. He was just about to shake her and try and wake her up when she said “Tama-sama! Yes…” That was a moan, nothing like what she had said earlier. His lewd thoughts came back, and he felt the urge to please her, and himself, if he could. He couldn’t just leave her if she really wanted him as well. He peeled down the blanket, turning away seeing that she had no clothes. He slowly stared up and down at her body, feeling himself grow harder every second. This was so wrong, but it felt so right. He had all but entered into her room without permission. Shouldn’t he wake her still? No, she seems to be enjoying herself in whatever fantasy she had conjured up with him. He wondered how often she had dreams like this. He undressed and slowly straddled her leg, and pressed himself gently against her thigh. It felt so good, he was barely able to control himself. All he had ever wanted was for you to love him as much as he loved you. He rubbed himself against your skin, shuddering at the great feeling it gave him.

Gaining a bit of bravery, he started kissing your inner thigh, and looked up. Somehow, you were still sleeping. But, if she wanted to be pleasured by Tamaki he wouldn’t, no, couldn’t disappoint. He felt himself getting harder, and he was feeling a bit desperate. He slowly opened your folds and stuck two fingers in. “Aah~” you moaned. He loved the sound of your voice, and pushed in and out of you with his hand. Your hips involuntarily pushed up against him. Was he really making you feel that good? He looked up at your face, shocked to see that you had awakened, your eyes glaring back at his. He slowly pulled out his fingers, and you trembled at the sensation. “I-I-I can e-explain I I I uh uhh uhhmmm I-I…” He started to mutter, pulling away from you, then looked at his hand, covered in your slick. His voice immediately changed, no longer scared, but in a hushed, husky tone of awe. “You’re so fucking sexy Y/N. Oh fuck. I just want to eat you up so badly.” His eyes flickered to her heat, then flicked away, not looking at her. “I’m so sorry Y/N. I shouldn’t have said that, shouldn’t have done that. God, what have I done?” Guilt washed over him in waves. He really shouldn’t have done that, but at the same time, he really didn’t regret it either. The clench of her walls around his fingers… He moved his middle and pointer fingers so that they were no longer together, and the thick liquid moved with it. He couldn’t stop staring.

Y/N’s POV

You groggily woke up, still in bed. A pressing sensation almost made you cry out. You looked down. Tamaki Amajiki, your biggest crush, had his hand deep in your core. How did that happen? What was going on? You had just awoken, and did not have time to think of things like that, only that he was giving you so much pleasure. His eyes were fixed on your heat, as if it was the last bit of food left in the world. Fuck, he felt so good against you. You gently pressed your hips up more, and gasped, seeing how he sped up the pace. His eyes slowly met yours, a predator looking up at his prey. That expression, paired with what he had been doing to your pussy, nearly had you cum. Sadly, he pulled his fingers out of you, and you trembled as they left. His expression changed to one of guilt, then one of fear. “I-I-I can e-explain I I I uh uhh uhhmmm I-I…” He tried to explain, but his anxiety got the better of him. A moment of silence filled the room. His voice changed slightly. “You’re so fucking sexy Y/N. Oh fuck. I just want to eat you up so badly.” He went back to his guilty face. “I’m so sorry Y/N. I shouldn’t have said that, shouldn’t have done that. God, what have I done?” He looked like he was on the edge of crying or being really angry. His emotions were nearly impossible to read, because the only emotion he only ever really showed to you before was fear, just like with every other person on the planet. “Then do.” You responded. He looked back at you, confused. In a sore voice, he replied, “Do what?” You chuckled, blushing yourself. “You said you wanted to eat me up, didn’t you?” You could see his face turn even redder, and his breaths became shallow. Was he having a panic attack? Tamaki confused you so much. Why had he been in your room, touching you, if he was just going to have a panic attack? You sat up on your bed, and crawled over to sit next to him, hugging him from behind and wrapping your legs around his waist, very aware of just how naked you both were. “Deep breaths, Tamaki. I believe in you.” His breaths stopped shuddering almost immediately, and evened out. He turned around and buried his head between your breasts, pinning you against the bed. You felt a new burst of warmth against your hips. You didn’t need to look down to know that Tamaki didn’t have underwear on.

He took deep breaths, as if craving oxygen, pushing himself against your chest, his earlier bravery all gone. “III It was so much eeeasier when you were asleep, and w-when you had just w-wokenn up. I thought I had I-I I hhhad the confidence bbbut I don’t think so anymore and I just really love you and want to be with you but I can’t because there are so many more better people out there and I thought I just wanted to make you feel good but it was just me being selfish. Y/N I’m so sorry. Please, please, please! Forgive me.” You felt wetness gathering against your chest, and looked down. He was crying against you. You pulled him into a hug, pulling the blanket around the two of you, with the shy boy underneath you, pushing your chest against him. You could have sworn he smiled. You straddle his waist, slightly feeling his hot dick brush against your ass. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I love you too, Tamaki.” He gasped between his sobs. You knew that he couldn’t have had enough oxygen, but he looked so pretty like that, you had to. You pressed your mouth against his, and he shuddered underneath you, and grew still. You could no longer hear his breathing. Had he fainted? “Tamaki?” You nearly shouted, alarmed. “I-I’m fine,” he responded, nearly in a whisper. “I-I just never thought yo-ou could like me back. What could you possibly see in me?” You frowned, rubbing your wrist against his cheek, drying his tears. “Well, at least three reasons. For one, you’re going to be a great hero.” He sniffled. “Two, you’re amazing, and talented, and I’ve never met anyone like you before.” You smiled. “...and three?” He sniffed. “Three,” you leaned in near his ear, “...you know how to please a woman.” You nibbled on his ear, and he took in a few shuddering breaths. How he was still breathing, you had no clue. “F-Fuck, please.” He begged, surprising you. All you were doing was nibbling on his ear. “What, does the elf have sensitive ears?” You teased, rubbing them, a rhetorical question. He responded. “Yes, fuck. Yes.” He really got off to that? You had never taken Tamaki for the type to be really kinky, or even want sex at all. You were obviously wrong.

He took the two fingers that had been in you and licked them seductively. Since when had he known how to do that? “It still tastes like you…” He reached up and started squeezing one of your nipples, making your sensitive spots yearn for more. “I just want to taste you. All of you.” He swirled his tongue against your bud, still pressing his head against your chest like before, but with a totally different motivation. His eyes kept straying down to where your two bodies connected. “That’s not really what you want to taste, is it?” He took his lips off of your collarbone. “I think you already know.” Is all he would say. “You want to eat my pussy up Tamaki? I’ll let you if you ask nicely.” He seemed at a loss for words. “I-I would very m-much lllikeee that…” You get up, realizing that some of your slick had dripped onto his stomach. He looked down and saw that too. “mmmm..mmm. Y-youuu’rre so w-w-wet fffor mmme Y/N...” His indigo eyes briefly made eye contact with you before shying away. There was no way he could have said that looking at you.

“P-please, let me taste you.” He asked again. Who were you to deny him if he asked so nicely? You gently lowered yourself onto his face, slightly self conscious, but his face was so filled with lust that was quickly forgotten. The man really wasn’t kidding. He prodded, poked, licked, and slurped. The sounds made you cringe, but it felt amazing. Plus, he seemed to really enjoy it too. “You’re doing so good Tamaki. You make me feel so good.” You tell him. It was immediately obvious that he had a praise kink. While he was taking care of you, you reached back and took care of him with your fingers. Reaching back like that allowed his tongue to go deeper, too. After awhile, you felt a knot building up in your stomach. “Do you want to… for me-me t-t-to b-be in y-y-you?” He stuttered, when you sat back down on his stomach. Was that his way of asking you to actually have sex? “If that’s what you want, Tama-sama.” He gulped at the nickname. You slid down to his hips, enjoying teasing him, going slowly. His pained expression told you just how much he wanted you.

You spread your legs wide and slowly took him in, and he already was a moaning mess beneath you. He dug his nails into your hips. You had to put your hand on his mouth to quiet him from being too loud. You set the pace, slowly bouncing up and down on him. That seemed to work fine for awhile. “You fill me up so good Tamaki.” You felt him twitch under you. It was cute how the smallest compliments could get him going. You massaged his ears while rocking back and forth. You were almost there. He was still under you the whole time, aside from his slight trembling. “I-I’I’m t-ththink a-ab- going to-“ He surprised you. With his strong arms he lifted you up and pressed you against the wall, thrusting a couple more times, deeper than would be possible on the bed. It felt great, and had you seeing white. With one last deep thrust, you felt the knot in your stomach snap, and your juices trickled around him. He was a blushing mess, holding you against the wall as he came too, pushing you harder onto him, chasing both of your highs.

No one’s POV

He let out a sob of happiness, seeing the trail between the two of you. He had done that. He had made you feel so good that you had come with him. You wanted him as much as he had wanted you. He has never seen the day ending like this. “Is everything okay, Tamaki?” She said, cupping his face with that beautiful hand of hers. “Yes. Everything is perfect.” He wiped his tear and lifted her off, tucking her into bed. Pretty soon, Y/N fell back asleep, no doubt exhausted. Tamaki got up and left his phone number on her pillow. It was so much easier to text than talk for him. Hopefully, this was just the beginning of their relationship. He gently closed the door, careful not to awake her on his way out.

#Smut #bnha #tamaki #tamaki amijiki #tamaki x reader

[holdmyowos]

Your New Boyfriend (Shigaraki x Reader smut)

Shigaraki x Dom!Reader

Includes: gore, angst, cussing, watching p0rn, masturbation, oral

Author's note: I feel like Shigaraki's naturally a dom, but I like to think that he would be a sub because he really doesn't want to hurt you accidentally with his quirk. Also, I found the song, 'Your New Boyfriend' after writing this so I added bits.

"He's in your bed, I'm in your Twitch chat"

Your POV:

Your boyfriend had been too late to save you. The world was starting to go blurry. That damn hero had snapped both of your arms. Not a very heroic thing to do. They hung uselessly, blood trickling down all over. There was no way you would ever use them again. You stared up at the sky. A quirkless nobody like you never should have been in the league. The only reason you were was because All for One had saved you from the rubble of your house. You had no one else to turn to. You looked up at the stars. Wasn't it supposed to be daytime? You must be hallucinating. Hawks descended, the moon shining on his beautiful feathers, looking angelic, and scooped you very gently in his arms. "Baby, I'm so sorry. I should have been there. I should have protected you." He nuzzles your head. You see the tears falling off of his cheeks. Your arms dangle. He takes a few deep shuddering breaths. "No! You can't die on me! Fuck!" Your vision dimmed and you fell limp in his arms.

"If I could change a single thing, I'd make it me and not him."

Shigaraki's POV:

The battle was over, and the League had finally won for once. Hawks had said that there was something I was supposed to see, and it was important. Usually, we never really talked, so it must actually be important. I ran after him, flying ahead of me. He swooped down next to an unmoving mass. "It's Y/N. They didn't make it." My jaw dropped. Y/N? How? They were the only one that didn't ever make fun of me. They were my reason to live. "Leave. Now. I'll take care of this," I harshly said to Hawks, making him flutter away, not wanting to defy me. I delicately raised them with a pinky in the air, putting my ear to their chest. There was a faint noise, but perhaps that was from somewhere else. "This can't be. You aren't dead." I stared at my hand in confusion. My hand was covered in blood. In the dark of the night, I had failed to realize that they must have been severely injured to make Hawks think they were dead. "Kurogiri!" I snapped. He appeared almost immediately. Upon looking at the person's body, he said, "My condolences. They meant a lot to you, right?" I said nothing. "Don't tell me that. They're not dead. Or... are... are they really gone?" My voice ended sounding almost like a whisper, hoping that it was not so. Kurogiri knelt down next to them, and took a pulse. "It's your lucky day, they're not quite dead yet." My heart fluttered. Hawks you dumbass bastard. Didn't even check for a pulse? "...like I said, yet. If they don't get severe medical treatment very soon, they'll bleed out. None of us have the expertise to fix wounds like this. Both of their arms appear to be broken in multiple places, I severely doubt that they'll live and-" I stood up. "Damn it, Kurogiri! Do what you have to to keep them alive. Anything." Kurogiri nodded, and teleported away, leaving me to scream at the sky.

"I thought when I get older, I'd marry her"

"A half Nomu? You're sure it can be done?" I stared up at the giant cylinder of blue liquid that was keeping them alive in it. Their arms had been amputated. The doctor nodded. As secretive as he was, the guy was totally loyal to All for One, and therefore loyal to me."All we have to do is fix the arms using the process we use for making the Nomu. It should work out perfectly." I nod. That would have to do, as it seemed to be the only way of them getting out of this unscathed. "Well, there could be a few side effects, but nothing too major." He said, ruining the moment. "Like what?" I snapped. "Well, there could be some mental side effects, such as body dysphoria. I mean, there is always the chance that it won't work at all, or that perhaps it works too well and the Nomu part takes over the rest of the body." I scratched my neck. The stress had given back my old habits. "But they'll still mentally be themself, right? I don't want them to end up just like another Nomu." He nodded. "Likely. Still, I'm not sure why you are going through such lengths for one of your minor lackeys. Unless you want to program them to be totally loyal to you or something. But the resources alone for a quirk less nobody-" I put my hands around his neck, making sure to not touch him with all my fingers. Program them? That had to be crossing a line. I took a few deep breaths trying to calm down, but it made it worse. It took all my self control to not disintegrate him for saying such a horrible thing about my love but I needed him to save them. I glanced up at their body, seemingly lifeless in the canister. I tightened my grip. "Never. Never ever talk about them like that. Unless you want to die here and now." I released him to let him go do his work.

After getting the call from the doctor that the treatment had worked, and the healing was done, I immediately had Kurogiri teleport me to see. They looked perfectly fine, their arms free of even scars and blemishes that were there earlier. Something still bothered me. "Why aren't they waking up?" The doctor backed away, no doubt fearful of me turning him into dust."They just need a little time. Take them back to the hideout, and they'll be fine." I did just that, sitting by the side of their bed. "I hope someday you'll realize how much I love you. Enough to bring you back from the dead."

"Your new boyfriend's an arsehole"

Your POV:

You woke up. Groggily, you opened your eyes. How could you have woken up? Weren't you supposed to be dead? You moved your arms. Totally unbroken. In fact, they felt strong. Seeing Shigaraki next to you, you said, "How did Hawks get me to the hospital in time? I thought I was a goner." He sneered. "Pfft. That hero saved you? Please. No. Sorry sweetheart, it was me. He thought you were deceased, and left you for dead. The dumbass should have checked for a pulse. Anyway, after your... boyfriend," he sneered. "...thought you were dead, he abandoned the cause, and revealed that he was a fucking secret agent for the heroes." You shook your head. "No way." He got up. "Whatever princess. Just happy you're fine." He left the room, gently shutting the door. Looking around after getting out of bed, only Kurogiri and Shigaraki were at the league's hideout. How could you be alive. Your arms were supposed to be broken. It was obvious that Shigaraki did not want to talk about it, so you went to his second in command. "Kurogiri, how did you guys get me not dead?" That was a dumb way of putting it. His pupilless eyes turned towards you. "I am programmed to not answer that question. Oh, keeping secrets, are we Shigaraki? There was always a way around, and you would find out. "Do you know how?" He nodded his head yes. "Ok then, what did you do yesterday that had to do with me?" That seemed to work. "I took you to the doctor's lab where he fixed you." He was silent for a moment, then added his two cent take on it, something he rarely ever did. "Shigaraki seemed really concerned for you, Y/N. He loves you. He saved your life. You are in his debt. You must repay him." His words sent chills down your spine. Kurogiri never talked like that. He was always monotonous, giving only the requested information. You backed away, creeped out.

"I just think that I deserve A little bit of what I earned"

You sat behind Shigaraki, on the couch behind his gamer chair. The game blared boss battle music. "Do you wish to fight me, mortal?" That was an odd phrase. Must be the end game boss or something. He kept muttering little things under his breath. It was kind of cute. He won the game after two tries. A smile was on his face. You hardly ever saw that. He started a new game when you sneezed. He turned around, startled. "Oh, Y/N. How are you? I didn't know you were there. How long have you been there, exactly?" Since Kurogiri had said Shigaraki was in love with you, that had to be true. Kurogiri always told the truth. Since Hawks had backstabbed the league, you were open for a new boyfriend, right? You surveyed him with new eyes. Even though he wasn't heather most handsome, with his chapped lips, he wasn't that bad either, his hair was fluffy sky blue color, and something about his eyes entranced you. "Hey, what's with that look? Are you okay?" He seemed concerned for your well-being. This relationship could work out. You shook your head as if clearing the thoughts out. "Fine, thanks." He looked away from you, back at the game. You went over the couch, making a few quieter footstep sounds to make him think you were out of the room, and ducked behind the couch, peering out at him. What did he do in his alone time? He glanced around to check that you had left, and popped a different game into the CD drive. This game was very different from what he had been playing before. Instead of his, shooting, taking-over-the-galaxy-type game, the intro screen had girls in bathing suits... and some without. He started the game up, and immediately a very lewd picture of a girl showed up. He played the dumb game for a bit. Really? The second you leave the room he goes to play that kind of game, and fuck with some cartoon girls? That was actually kind of cute. Did you make him that horny? "None of them are as good as Y/N. Fuck."

"When I'm only one click away from insane"

He drummed his fingers on the desk. Slowly, you heard the unzipping of his pants. This was wrong. You shouldn't be listening in on him. But you couldn't help it. He had a crush on you, and the feeling was mutual. He started making little sounds, no doubt masturabting. Too bad he was turned away from you. "Ugh! Yea, mmmm. Just like that you little slut. Take it real good." Now that was too much. You felt your own panties behind drenched at ugly of him saying such dirty words to you. You slowly crept up on him. Somehow, he must have realized that you were there, because in one deft motion he zipped his pants, turned off the monitor with the naked girls, and stepped in front of the screen as if covering it. He turned to face you, a hand against your throat. "Kinky," you said. Realizing who you were, his hand slowly relaxed from the tight grip he had, letting it fall off of you. He stood there for a second, unsure what to do, unsure of how long you were there.

"'Cause she's living the dream"

"Poor Tomura. Did I stop you from cumming? I know what you did for me, and I want to make it up to you." His scarlet eyes widened and you slowly pressed him back into his chair and straddled him, holding his wrists with your strong arms. "Don't deny it. I know you want this." He looked away, unable to look at you in the eyes. "Yea, sure whatever." His words didn't match his actions. You felt him growing against you, straining against the fabric. "Naughty boy, looking at others for pleasure. They aren't even real. They can't make you feel like I can." You gently pressed your lips against his, and he went along with it, moaning softly. You rolled your hips onto his, giving him a little friction. "Fuck," he muttered softly. You grabbed his hair and made the kiss deeper, his rough lips against yours. You stay like that for a while, content with tasting each other. He finally backed off. "Y/N, you don't know how much I craved you, how much I wanted this." "Oh, I haven't even done anything yet." You very slowly unzipped his pants, and he blushed furiously under you. When you were finally done, you revealed his underwear, soaked where his head met the fabric. You got down on your knees and licked him through the fabric, and he shuddered, digging his nails into the soft leather of the chair. You gently stroked the tip, then slid his pants and briefs down to reveal his cock, which twitched when you blew cold air on it. "I want you so badly. Please. Please." You took him into your hands and licked it a few times before shoving his length into your mouth. He became a sobbing mess beneath you, calling your name as you sucked him off. His words became a string of incoherent praises. You knew he was getting close, so you finished him off and he came onto your hand. After a couple of shuddering breaths, he returned to normal, yet his dick was still erect.

"Love isn't quite what I thought it'd be"

"Please, I want to taste you. Let me, please, let me eat you up," he begged. You took off your lower clothing, and he went onto the couch. You slowly descended onto him, and he spent no time waiting. He grabbed your hips, digging some of his broken fingernails in, making sure not to touch you with all his fingers. You let out a squeal of pain, but that did not stop him. He covered you with his mouth, his tongue making lewd sounds. You let out moans as he did it, and soon you were ready to cum. Surprisingly, he took it well and swallowed it all, still licking you as if a puppy, desperately wanting a last bit of milk from its mother. "You're so desperate, babe. Lighten up." You fluffed his hair, but he kept going. His eyes were half lidded. How was he enjoying this so much? "Dirty little bitch, you just love sucking me, don't you?" He just vibrated his lips against you, and shuddered. "You look like you're fucking possessed. Stop it." He just kept licking and sucking until you came another time, and he came with you.

"I've got the key, and he's just the doormat"

You got off of his face and he gasped for breath, clear and whitish liquids coming out of his mouth. "You make a cute ahegao face," you said, taking a pic. He swallowed, wiped off his mouth, and frowned. "Did you just take a picture?" He tried swiping your phone. "Uh, no?" You replied, keeping the phone out of his reach. You laughed, and whispered in his ear. "I'm keeping this for blackmail until I know we'll do this again." You kissed him on the cheek, and he leaned against you in an attempt to take your phone. You clicked the power button, so he'd have to guess your password before he could delete it. He growled, up in your face. "Fine then, let's go right now."

"Cause she moves on pretty bloody quick"

#bnha #bnhaxreader #bnha x reader #bnhasmut #bnha smut #shigaraki #shigaraki x y/n

[holdmyowos]

Little Bird (Hawks x Yandre Reader)

Includes: Non con, yandre reader

Quirk: Swallow (the type of bird): you have a pair of wings and two long tail feathers.

Your first day at the hero agency. You were looking forward to this. The number two and number five heroes working together? It would make news halfway across Japan. The crime rate would be next to none in the city you two resided in. Last week, you had interviewed to be a partner to Hawks, in the business sense, of course. His real name was Keigo Takami. He was a handsome guy, perhaps the hottest dude you had ever seen, and you were instantly infatuated. Luckily, he had taken a shine to you as well, though perhaps not in the way you liked. “Birds of a feather have to stick together, right?” He had joked. How many times had you heard that? All your life people had thrown bird jokes and insults your way. He had to have the same experience, but here he was, dishing it out. You rolled your eyes. On your way out of the interview, one of his secretaries remarked quietly to her friend, “Oh, great, another bird brain.” Hawks did not care, and just went up to her and struck up a conversation about some random thing. She was in your way. You would need to take care of her.

The first week went by, and as you expected, crime rates were near nothing, so you had nothing to do but greet fans and make public appearances with Hawks. Since he was so outgoing, next to him you seemed timid, shy, and kind. Slowly, you flirt with him a bit, until it becomes nearly obvious. He seemed perhaps uninterested in you, or more focused in his work. Either way, he never makes any comment that could lead that he likes you back, other than things that he says to all. One thing you had noticed, was that every time you called him sir, he would become flustered. “You have wings, but can’t use them? That’s odd. How did you even get to the fifth hero spot like that?” He asked. “Sir, I never really needed them, with my eyesight and hearing, not to mention my fast reflexes. Besides, what if I tried and fell?” You looked up to him for guidance. He cleared his throat, blushing. “Well, first of all, please don’t call me sir. Second of all,” he took a step away from you. “Don’t look at me like that. And third, I’ll show you how to use your wings,” he decided for you, letting your feathers from your wing stretch between his fingers. It felt odd, almost intimate. No one ever touched them. You stiffened up.

“Hawks, not like this! I’m not ready!” You wailed from the roof of the skyscraper. How had he dragged you up here, again? It was just after your hero agency had closed, at nine. It was dark out. “You’ll be fine! Just jump and spread your wings like a little birdie!” He made dumb flapping motions with his hands. You sighed, clinging to the pole as if it was a raft in the ocean. He came over and pried you off of the metal. “If it doesn’t work out, I’ll catch you. You know of my trademark speed, obviously.” He flashed you a smile with a winking eye. That guy was sure something. What, exactly, you did not know. Caught up in your thought, he took the chance to push you off the roof. Time seemed to stand still as you saw him practically push you to your death, the traitor. You gave him a murdorous look and gave out a very undignified screech as you plummeted to your certain doom. “Spread your wings!” Hawks reminded you, shouting. The ground was coming up at you too fast. You were going to be nothing but a splat on the ground. You curled into a ball, as if a cannonball on concrete. Surprisingly, there was no pain. You slowly lifted your wings’ feathers off your eyes to see what was going on. You were… flying? No, your wings were still curled up. Hawks’ strong arms were carrying you, his wings beating and flying in a way you were sure yours never could. Seeing that you were okay, he flew up higher than the building. “Are you ready to try again?” You nodded, and he dropped you. This time, you knew he would catch you. You took in a few deep breaths, caught in free fall, and let your wings unfurl. At least you were trying instead of chickening out. Sadly, you just kept tumbling, unable to angle your wings like a real bird. As you got closer to the ground, you started panicking, and spread your wings out as far as possible. It slowed your fall, but it was not enough. Hawks soared under you and caught you, not even taking a heavy breath as he simply continued flying, leaving you at the entrance of the building. “You almost had it! Next time, try using those tail feathers for balance. Or perhaps try off a takeoff from the ground a few times before doing that again? I don’t want to scare you again.” The next words out of his mouth sent shivers down your spine as he leaned in close, golden eyes staring at you, his lips ghosting over yours. “...unless you’re into that type of thing?” All too quickly, he had put your feet back down on the ground, and had flown away into the dark sky.

Everyone in the office seemed pretty upset the next day. Apparently, a villain had killed one of your secretaries. Sure, your popularity had dropped, since you could not even keep someone that worked in the same building as you safe, but things happen. Thankfully, everyone forgot about her and got over it.

Hawks invited you over to his house. It was so out of the blue, you had almost declined, but you could not say no to the chance to be with him. He did not name a specific occasion, nor did he say it was for a date. Now you stood next to your closet, trying to figure out what was appropriate to wear. You decided to wear your favorite outfit, hoping it would be okay.

When you got to his house, you realized how rich the man was. It was ginormous. Being the second most popular hero has its perks. You, on the other hand, had no clue how much you had since most of it went directly to savings. Perhaps you should check it out. You pressed the button on the large black iron gate, hoping it was a doorbell of sorts. The spiked on the top of the gate seemed intimidating, and there were many security cameras. The gates swung inwards quickly with a snap. You walked in, and Hawks greeted you with an open door. The inside of his house was quite odd. He looked up to what you were staring at. “This used to be an old firehouse, before I renovated it. As you can see, I took out the fire pole.” You saw what he meant. When you stood under it, you saw that the hole still went up through all five floors of his house, with each floor being about fifteen feet high. “How do you get up to the other floors?” You asked, feeling dumb as soon as the words were out of your mouth. He looked at you as if you might be stupid too. “I fly. And the only other person that I bring here sometimes; her name’s Mirko, can jump that high.” Wow. What type of quirk could make someone jump that high? Too bad that you could not fly like that. The two of you ‘hung out’ as Hawks would have put it, not really doing anything but staying on the bottom floor and talking. The next week, he had invited you again. You noticed that he had just put in an elevator. How rich could he be to put in an elevator in a week? When you asked him about it, he mumbled snippets of answers, like “Well I would have needed to get one eventually.” That day he let you explore his big house. He even had a pool on the roof. That seemed a bit structurally iffy, but it seemed to work. He even let you see his bedroom.

You had stalked Hawks for about a month now, and you were ready to go on with your plan. You knew you were insanely in love with him, but it could not be helped. You needed him, but you did not have the courage to tell him that you liked him. What if that ruined your friendship? No. Instead, you had come up with a better way to see him. You knew that it was weird, but you felt the need to do it.

Since you had already been there twice before, you easily avoided the numerous cameras and security measures, keeping your wings tucked in close. You climbed silently up his terrace, feeling like the Romeo to his Juliet, or the prince to his Rapunzel. Sadly, his room was on the fifth floor, and the trellis only reached the third floor. You would have to fly from here, and carefully.

You had secretly trained your wings since Hawks had helped you realize that perhaps they were for something better than just being pretty. You were only able to go short distances, built you could fly. Doing a straight line upwards would still be too hard. You started having doubts about how well your plan was going to work. You decided to fly in a diagonal pattern up to the floor, hoping that it would work. You beat your wings hard to get the momentum to propel yourself upwards. There was no wind to help you either.

You land silently on his balcony, wings spread wide to balance. You pick the lock easily, and you hope the hinge does not squeal. You shut the door slowly, and sigh in relief. The hard part was over. You turned to see Hawks. His feathers practically shone in the moonlight, his breaths light and quick. He never awoke once. When you realized what a heavy sleeper he was, you returned a few times.

One night, you took your normal position kneeling next to his bed, and realized something. To your delight, he was not wearing any clothes. Your hungry eyes roved over his naked body, studying the way his muscles moved as he breathed. Since he had never awoken before, touching him could not do anything, right? You gently placed your hand on his beautiful chest, and slowly trailed it down to his abs, your hand landing slightly on his v-line. Would you dare peek? Your curiosity got the better of you, and you looked down. Oh. He must be having a wet dream, because on the top of his length there was a wet pool of moisture. Surprisingly, the handsome guy never brought any pretty girls home, so you would have to help him out. You were more than happy to do just that, reaching down and squeezing him. From then on, almost every other night you ‘help him out’, sometimes even letting him inside of you.

Sadly, this took a toll on your body. During the day, you were tired, unable to concentrate well. If it pleased him, why would a little sleeplessness matter, you told yourself. Every day after you had slept with him your eyelids would fall in the middle of the workday, no matter what you were doing. Frequently, you found your assistant shaking you awake to deal with a villain. Your trips to his house were much less frequent.

“Hey, Y/N. We need to talk.” Hawks said. He laced his fingers together, as if gathering his thoughts, wondering what to say. “What’s disturbing you?” You said in your sweetest voice. He ruffled his hair. “It’s just that… you seem tired and unfocused lately. I can try and help. I’m here for you, you know.” You nodded. “Thanks, but it appears something is bothering you, not me. Out with it, Hawks.” He seemed hesitant. When was he ever hesitant? When you gave him a small smile, he cracked. “Well, I suppose it is a bit weird to talk about around another person, but for some reason, I feel better this month than I ever have. I’ve been having this dream that this angel of the night comes into my room and… well…” he struggled for words. “...sleeps in my bed. I’ve been having this dream for awhile. It’s was just so realistic. I didn’t even long for my ex anymore, they felt so real. Nothing like that could happen in real life, right? I mean, all my security and stuff, not to mention I sleep on the top floor. It used to happen almost every night, and after the dream was done, I would wake up feeling better than I ever had. But now, it’s gone, and the night is dreamless.” He flopped down onto his swivel chair.

Not wanting him to get suspicious, but happy he confided in you, you say, “Well, with all the security you have, I’m sure, there is no way that anyone could possibly get into your bedroom without you knowing, sir.” He nods and dismisses you. At least you knew that he enjoyed what you did. Once you had gotten well rested, you went back over to his house for another night of ‘fun’. As you get on top of him, he moans. “Songbird please.” You freeze, but realize that he is still asleep, his breath even. He never said that before. How cute. You continue to pleasure him, unaware of the black orb camera hidden in the corner that has been watching you every time you came into his room or left.

With an ending like that, I’m thinking of making a part two. Let me know in the comments!

Part 2: https://holdmyowos.tumblr.com/post/649615062271688704/escape-hawks-x-reader

#Hawks #bnha #bnha x reader #bnhaxreader #hawks bnha #hawks x reader

[holdmyowos]

The Lion King (Hitoshi x Reader Fluff)

A/N sorry this is short I just did not have any more ideas

"It's my favorite movie, if I'm being honest. I'm disappointed that I couldn't get a role in the play. I've watched it over a hundred and fifty times, and that's not an exaggeration. Well, a few of the parts were pretty different from the movie, and I would have had to sing, so..." He said, laughing, as if he was admitting something embarrassing, holding his neck. You loved it when he did that. It was such a cute pose for him. Your class was doing a play for the School Festival. Since another class, class 1-B, perhaps? You were not sure. They were doing Hamlet or Romeo and Juliet, a Shakespeare play, your class wanted to do a more lighthearted play. The Lion King, to be more precise. You did not get a role either, like Hitoshi, so the two of you had to dress up as Simba and Nala, the main characters, and pose with little kids. "It's just a distraction, though, on my goal to try and get into the hero corse and become a hero." His expression hardened. Hitoshi did not really have any friends in the school, but two teachers, Mic and Aizawa seemed to be nearly friends with him. If you could show him you were friend material (or perhaps a bit more), you would have not only him, but also two teachers on your side.

His expression softened whenever the kids came to take pictures with him dressed up in a costume as Simba, the cute lion cub. One of the kids remarked, "I like ya kicks, Simba!" You had never seen him like that before, his grin from ear to ear. "You like them? They're new." Your heart melted. He was so cute with them. Hitoshi was so good with the children, being kind and only growling slightly when they pulled on his ears. It was not a very exciting job to have, but at least it gave you an excuse to be with your crush for a little bit. Your other classmates were rehearsing or selling tickets with Present Mic, who was doing a very good job of yelling at the customers to come see the presentation.

"You look good in that," Hitoshi said, matter of factly. You look around. There was no one else, not even a child. "You mean me?" You asked unironically, pointing to yourself with a confused expression. He laughed. "Of course. You look so cute, kitty." You hoped he could not see you blush under the makeup you had to put on. Had he called you kitty on accident, or was it because you were wearing a large cat costume? That was a pet name, right? Your crush had just came up with a nickname for you! You were so busy thinking about that, a tiny boy came over to you with his mom and sister. The mom snapped a picture of the four of you, the flash taking you out of your daze. "Hey, why don't you two kiss? Aren't you supposed to be in love?" The kid says. You pause, unsure what to do, laugh at the mom slightly, but when she does not do anything, you bend down to level with the kid. "You're right, Simba and Nala are in love, but they're lions, and lions don't kiss." The kid looked like he was going to start bawling. "Mommy! It's a lie, the lions aren't in love. I'm going to tell my friends that class 1-C's play is terrible." You were not even supposed to have to be an actor. You sighed. "Ok, ok. Come on, I can get you a toy from the souvenir stand, will that help?" You said. He shook his head no. His sister seemed sad too. "Come on, we have to do something," Hitoshi whispered. "We can't have a kid crying before the play has even started," You sighed, out of ideas. "I'll do it," Hitoshi said gruffly. "Do what?" Before you knew what was happening, he nuzzles your face gently, not enough to mess with the makeup, and leaves you blushing. The close contact with you ended too quickly. You touched the spot where his breath went over you. "Oh, guess they're cool. Come on, Shiro! Let's go," the little boy sped off with his sister. Was Hitoshi hitting on you? He had complimented your looks and had just been up in your face. He did not even ask. Did he know you had a crush on him as well? Hitoshi waved at the siblings as they went into the distance, then turned to look at you.

"I'm sorry if I didn't respect your personal space. I did not mean to violate your space. I should have asked first. It's whatever, though, right? It's in the past, and you have to leave the past behind you." He shoved his hands into his pockets, looking nervous. You waved your hands at him, trying to express how you felt. "Oh, no, it was great. I mean, oh it's okay. It's fine." Oops. You looked down at your feet. It was great? Why did you say that? What did that even mean? He nodded, and went back to what he was doing, satisfied with your answer. When the play was over, Hitoshi started to take off the costume. You watched, assuming that he had a shirt or hoodie underneath. Seeing his bare chest made you realize this was not the case, and you panicked and turned away to respect his privacy. "Hitoshi, a bit of a warning next time before you strip, please!" You said. He just chuckled. "I still have my pants on, so why's it matter?" Your face got red with the possibility of seeing him without a shirt. No. No. No. You told yourself. You did not want to be seen as a pervert in Hitoshi's book. You were not peeking. As he left, he had put on a black hoodie and pulled the hoodie over his head.

You went around, helping other classes take down their decorations from the festival. Your one chance to do something with Hitoshi, and you had acted uninterested, even when he made physical contact with your face. Like a kiss. Well, there's always later, right? You could try talking to him or class, if you somehow got the courage of a lion. Or next year. Unless he joins the hero course... maybe you should make your move sooner rather than later.

#BNHA #bnhaxreader #bnha x reader #hitoshi #Shinsou #shinsou hitoshi #shinso hitoshi #hitoshi shinso #hitoshi shinsou

[holdmyowos]

[holdmyowos]

Training (Aizawa/Shinso x Neko Female Reader Smut)

Includes: Age gap, neko, polyamory, predator-and-prey dynamics, bondage, use of word 'sensei', unprotected sex

A/N: The two of you are done with hero studies but Hitoshi still trains with Aizawa pretty frequently.

You had been with plenty of other guys, but Hitoshi was by far the best you had ever been with. He was so sweet and caring. Plus, he loved cats! Since your quirk let you transform into one, it was perfect. The only downside was that he was a virgin, and he refused to have sex with you. After a couple months into your relationship, he had decided that he was finally ready to take the next step. You had it all planned out. That special occasion would be nowhere near when you were on your period, so he could do as he pleased, and you would be totally ready for him. Often you had caught him looking at cat girls on his phone and touching himself, so you knew exactly what he liked. His favorite color was black, and his second favorite color was silvery grey, so you made sure to incorporate that into the design. Since he was a pro hero with a ton of money, he gave you all the money you wanted to make your costume. You were going for an e-girl type of vibe. You had a black choker with a small silver bell on it. You had long boots on with fishnet tights. You were wearing a short black skirt over your lacy grey panties that matched your lacy silver bra. You had your hair back in two loose buns, tied with silver ribbons. You topped it all off with a black crop top with a revealing boatneck. You put a deep red color of lipstick on. When you were done with your eyeshadow, you worked on making your eyeliner wings perfectly sharp, matching. Your tail and cat ears were out. When you looked in the mirror, even you were impressed. It was ridiculous, no doubt. If you walked into a store, everyone and their grandma would be staring. Any other day you would have laughed at how over-the-top it was, but today you looked sexy as hell. You put your hand on your butt and took a picture in the mirror. Today was going to be a day to remember for sure.

After spending half an hour getting ready, you called your boyfriend, sure he could hear the smile in your voice. "Hey baby, are you ready to come over?" You tried to put as much excitement in your voice as possible. He chuckled. "You better believe it. You want to prepare yourself before I get over there, so we can fully enjoy ourselves?" You shuddered at his implications. "I'm not so certain I catch your drift," you prompted him. You got the desired reaction. "Listen, kitty cat." You could hear the tightness in his voice, as if he wanted to fuck you then and there. "I want you to take that vibrator that I got you for you as a present, and shove it in that tight pussy of yours until it's leaking for me." He clicked the end call button, and a buzz went off in your ear as you turned the vibrator on a low setting.

Your plans were totally falling apart now. You soon became bored with playing with yourself, and angrily called your man. He would not answer. You texted, 'Where the hell are you?' Happily, almost immediately he started typing. 'I had to go train with Aizawa. Sorry. Just be patient, I'll get home around 8.'8? Freaking 8?! It was currently 5. You were not waiting that long for him. He had promised you, and you had been planning this for too long for him to just say 'later'. He had even taken the last couple days off of hero work just so that he had plenty of rest. He had recently looked really good, for once not totally sleep-deprived and running only on coffee and kisses. "Gotta make your first time special, 'toshi," you muttered to yourself as you slid in the car. If he was not coming to you, then you could come to him. He was not getting around this, even if you had to fuck him in front of his old teacher. That thought caught you off guard. In school, you had a slight crush on the young, handsome Shota Aizawa, but thinking of fucking your boyfriend in front of him was a bit strange.

When you were finally at the building, the gym that Hitoshi and Aizawa trained at, you shut the car off and turned off the lights. The gym was privately owned by just the two of them together, so they often came here to train during the day or whenever they had free time. Aizawa might seem modest, but he had a huge salary just like the rest of the pro heroes, so he could afford things like that. You walked up the stairs to the door, slowly opening it. You heard breathless sighs and grunts. It was pretty cute. They must be busy training. You slowly shut the door with nothing but a small click. A small brick wall about four feet tall separated them from your view. You glanced down to the area below the walking track that you were on, leaning over the edge to see. The two of them seemed engaged in a sparring match, both of them having discarded their shirts. You found yourself looking at Aizawa instead of your boyfriend. He just looked so sexy, his long hair rubbing against his large muscles. Reluctantly, you turned your gaze to Hitoshi, not unimpressed with what you saw there either. Hitoshi had abs? His workout sessions must have been paying off. The two stopped their match when Aizawa glanced up towards you apprehensively. You ducked under the wall before they could see you. The two talked in hushed voices. "Did you hear that sound? Is someone else here?" One of them said quietly, but your cat ears picked it up. Footsteps came up the stairs. Maybe you could have fun making them chase you.

You flicked your bell so it jingled, and ran in the opposite direction of the stairs, ducking so they could not see you over the wall. You skidded to a halt as Aizawa landed in front of you, his capture weapon having propelled him up from the ground. Sadly, his shirt was back on. You frowned. In a matter of seconds, he had you hanging from the ceiling, suspended upside-down, your head a foot away from the floor. You put your skirt up so it was covering your thighs again, and held them there with your hands. Being held upside down had made your skirt drop, and he probably saw your panties. "Hello, Aizawa-Sensei!" You said, enthusiastically. It had been awhile since you had seen him. Aizawa had gained a cute little scar on his cheekbone, right below his eye. He scoffed, loosening his white rope that he had tied around you, yet he still did not let you go. "Oh, it's just you, Y/N. What are you doing here, in my gym? I thought you were a villain, or something." He remembered your name! Yay! That must be hard, knowing the hundreds, perhaps even thousands of students he had to go through.

Your croptop flipped, revealing the underside of your breasts and your bra. You kept your hands on your skirt, however. You giggled at him. He noticed the motion of your croptop against the gravity, and eyed you up and down, as if only now realizing what you were wearing, he looked away from you. "And why the hell are you wearing something so slutty? A man with less self control could become a villain with just the lust of looking at you." He turned his back to you, running his fingers through his hair. Was he trying to hit on you? Did he think you were here for him? Your tail swayed gently at the thought, accidentally and lightly brushing against his neck. He shuddered at the touch, running your tail through his fingers. Rarely did anyone ever touch your tail, and usually it was intimately. You gripped your skirt tighter at the thought, not wanting him to see how wet your underwear was getting. Or did you want him to see?

Hitoshi came up behind you from the stairs, panting and out of breath, his shirt still off. You turned to see him, still dangling in midair. You were staring at his muscles that moved as he breathed and walked towards you. He sucked in a breath as he saw you. "Y/N, is that really you? You're stunning," he said, amazed by your looks. "Hitoshi, there was many better ways to get up here faster than running. You need to learn to use your rescources," Aizawa said, not looking you in the eyes, dropping you from his capture weapon and holding you bridal style in his arms before letting you go, waiting for your feet to gently touch the floor before he stopped supporting you. It was a really sweet gesture. You twined your tail around Aizawa's arm, then let him go.

The three of you just stood there in an awkward silence. Hitoshi came forward. "Sorry, sensei. This is my girlfriend, Y/N. I think you already know her." Aizawa simply nodded. "Well, are you sure she's your girlfriend?" He challenged. Your heart leapt at the words. "W-what do you mean? She even dressed really nicely for me. I... I was supposed to do something with her tonight, but I postponed it to train with you when you asked. That's probably why she's here." Aizawa backed you into the wall behind you. You gulped, face flushed. You loved and hated this feeling at the same time. What would Hitoshi think of you being aroused at this man's advances? He gently held your arms, pinning them above your head, and pressed his lips against your neck, trailing up to your face. His chest rubbed against your sensitive breasts. "What a pretty kitty," he said. You blushed, not smiling, at Hitoshi. "Hey, leave her alone! She doesn't want you!" All that Aizawa did was let out a low chuckle. "Of course she does. You've made her wait too long. I would never do such a thing. I'd... feed my kitty whenever she felt hungry." He growled the last part of his speech in your ear. Your heart skipped a few beats. "She likes you and doesn't want to offend you, I can tell by how she doesn't smile at me, but her blush and her cute little voice says something else all together." He took his hands and gently fondled your breasts under your shirt, and you let out a very slight whimpering sound, biting your lip to try to keep it from betraying your feelings. "Y/N, is this true?" Your boyfriend asked. You looked away from him in shame, making the mistake of meeting Aizawa's intense eyes. You did not need to say anything, since the deafening silence spoke volumes.

Surprisingly, Aizawa slowly released you from his hold. To say you were disappointed was putting it mildly. You practically whined at the loss, his warm hand's touch still lingering on your breasts. He smirked at Hitoshi. "However, since you brought her back to me, I will make you a deal. First one to find and capture her gets to control what happens next. Sound good to you, kitty cat?" You saw Aizawa slip him a pair of handcuffs. So that was how the game was going to be played. You nod. Seeing Hitoshi's uncertainty, you goaded him. "What, you're not scared of him, are you?" He fell for it, snapping at you. "I am not!" He turned to the older man, who obviously knew what he was talking about. "Fine, I'll accept your dumb terms, but with one condition. We both have to do what Y/N tells us to do." He stuck out his hand, and Aizawa immediately shook it. A thrill went up your spine, knowing that both of these men had fallen hard for you, willing to do anything just to be with you. Both of them turned to you.

Hitoshi flipped the lights off, so only you and your cat eyes could see well. "You better run, kitty. The chase is on," one of them said. You held the bell tightly in your hand, keeping it from jingling too loudly. You kicked off your boots so you could be more silent, moving around the track and down the stairs onto the training floor, making no noise other than the small muffled jingles. There was no way either of them could find you. You were in your element, the darkness was your friend. If there was one thing a cat was good at, it was quietly slinking around. You let go of your bell, and let it jingle once.

"Hey there kitty. I found you." Aizawa popped out of seemingly nowhere, forcing the handcuffs on your arms, pressing his knee gently into the small of your back, sending a small wave of pain over you. You knew he did not mean anything of it, that was simply the best way to do it. Still, you let out a tiny cry, a mewl of pain. "That was cute, kitty. Do it again." He pressed on you harder. Now he definitely meant it. "Sensei, please let go," you said desperately. He reluctantly got off of you and turned half of the lights back on, giving the place a different vibe. You looked up at his head as Hitoshi came towards you. He had on his yellow glasses, the ones that let him see in the dark. He had a giant grin on his face. "What did I say, Hitoshi? Think smarter, not harder. You need to learn to use your resources," he said, clicking your handcuffs off once Hitoshi saw that he had won. He sighed in defeat, realizing the power his teacher had over him.

"What's our safe word, kitty cat?" He all but hummed. You were turned on by how abrupt he was. "How about catnip," you suggest. "Great idea. Perfect for my little kitten," he said, piling up some of the training mats for a makeshift bed. "It was supposed to be 'toshi's first time. Please go easy on him, sensei," you admitted for your boyfriend. He only let out a sadistic chuckle, guiding the two of you to the mats. "Fine, then. Show me what you were going to do for him when he got home," he said. You were only too happy to oblige. "Well, first I was going to beat his ass for getting home so late, figuratively, of course," you said, glancing at Hitoshi. "Then I... well, I think it's best if I let the actions do the talking for me." Aizawa nodded.

You kissed Hitoshi fiercely, so happy that you would finally get to feel someone's skin on yours. You had been denied for too long. You straddled his body, and made the kisses deeper, practically eating his face, and he did it right back, desperate for you before Aizawa stole his fun. He shuddered, breathless, gasping for air from the kiss. You pulled away. Little smears of your lipstick were obvious on his face. You wiped it off of him with your thumb. Hitoshi had a face so red, you knew what had happened. You glanced down at his pants. "Hitoshi, did you already cum? I hardly even touched you!" He looked away in embarrassment. "Well, you just looked so pretty and everything happened so suddenly."

He tried covering his face, but you pulled down his pants and boxers. "You're doing this for me, aren't you? So you should have waited until I let you cum. I would have gladly let you do it inside of me," you whispered. You straightened his still hard dick, running your fingers up and down it's length, smearing his cum all over. He was average in length, but had a wide girth. You gave kitten licks to the tip and under the head, right where the bundle of nerves are. He smelled delicious. Slowly, you took him into your mouth. He held one of his hands in your hair, lightly pulling in it as you sucked him off. He used his other hand to gently pull on your collar.

Feeling a slight touch at your butt, you almost turned around, but you were too busy. You had all but forgotten about Aizawa with what you were doing to Hitoshi. He smoothly tugged your skirt off, and you crossed your legs. "Come on now, kitty. Why are you hiding from me?" Hitoshi pushed you down deeper onto him, almost having you gag. "Y/N your mouth feels so good wrapped around me," he said. Your heat warmed up with his words. You used your tongue against him, pushing it to the side of your mouth. Aizawa uncrossed your legs and tenderly pulled your leggings off, leaving you with only your panties on your lower half. He gently teased you with his fingers running along your folds. He slipped a finger under them, your juices gathering on his fingers. "Wet for me, my kitten? I could just stick myself into you without preparing you." You let out a moan in response, vibrating on Hitoshi. He gripped you harder. "Kitty..." he said, his eyes rolling to the back of his head in pleasure. You let out a cry as Aizawa penetrated your pussy, muffled because Hitoshi was balls deep in your mouth, but still audible. He had not even taken the time to remove your underwear, so you were unprepared. You adjusted as his length came down inside of you. After a couple months without sex, it felt so good to finally have something filling you up.

It seemed to go on forever. He was long. Once he was finally all in, or you guessed he was, he stopped moving, as if content to just be in you. You continued with Hitoshi as Aizawa's hands roamed your body, groping your ass and pulling and pinching on your curves. He pulled your bra up and fondled your breasts again, squeezing the nipples. You found yourself clenching around Aizawa and sucking in your breath for Hitoshi. "I'm close again, kitty," Hitoshi informed you, pulling out of your mouth. He backed away from you. You gasped for air, finally able to use your mouth to breathe. Behind you, Aizawa slowly thrusted up a few times, hitting the spot that made you claw the mat. "Sensei, please!" You clenched your fists around the material around you. "You like that kitten? You want me to fuck you better than Hitoshi can?" You nodded, unable to control yourself. He moved his hands away from your chest and to the floor so he had a better angle. "Hitoshi, the key to making a girl happy is giving her what she wants. If it's a little rough," he thrusted hard into you and you yelped, more in pleasure than pain, "...so be it." He started pounding you into the mat below "It's too much Aizawa!" You felt your walls squeezing around him as he continued his relenting attacks.

"You can take it, kitten, I know you can. Take it for me." He kept hitting that one spot that made your vision blur. Your boyfriend was in front of you. You wondered what Hitoshi was up to, but when he placed your hand on him you got to work, squeezing with Aizawa's thrusts. You moaned and squeezed Hitoshi, and he came into your hand. Still running your fingers against him, you felt a knot in your stomach. You had felt your own climax building up for a while now, and you saw white as you came hard onto Aizawa, and you felt yourself being filled up with his seed. When he was done, he pushed his fingers into you, pumping you a few times. Your juices leaked all over the mat, leaving a white stain. He got up to get some paper towels. You dizzily got to your feet, about to head to the bathroom to clean yourself up. He put a hand around your throat in a loose grip. A threat. "Where do you think you're going, kitty? You were supposed to be mine. I won't let you forget that when we get home," he promised. "Or maybe now. Do I need to teach you a lesson?" Your body ached at the thought of more, knowing that you would hurt for quite a long time after.

He spread your legs apart, and buried his tongue into you. You tugged on his hair as he did, lapping up the juices. "I think it was unfair that Hitoshi got to cum two times. I think you need to come back here sometime again so we can have a rematch," Aizawa said, fully clothed again as he came back and gathered in the scene. "Young people," he sighed dramatically, cleaning up the dribbles here and there. You were too busy feeling Hitoshi's tongue squeezing inside you to notice Aizawa gently brushing through your hair and tail fur with his brush. He wanted you as much as you had wanted him.

Slightly inspired by Cat Girls Are Ruining My Life by Corpse Husband

#Bnha #bnhaxreader #smut #anime #animexreader #anime x reader #bnha x reader #hitoshi #hitoshi shinsou #aizawa #shota aizawa