jina-juhi

[jina-juhi]

Feels like

you can love again.

Pairing : Johnny × fem!reader

Rating : 18+

warning: smut with plot, protected sex, i tried fluff? fluffy sex? and heart break. and basically all things sex. oh alcoholism. cute sex? plus doggy style plus face sitting:) oral m/f

word count : 4.5k

summary : I could fuck you, right here, right now, but only if you'd ask.

[if you wanna skip to the smut part just go straight down]

Playlist

all too well, Taylor Swift

you heard me, Heather Sommer

1 step forward, 3 steps back, Olivia rodrigo

graveyard, halsey

right where you left me, taylor swift

wouldn't come back, Trousdale

ghost of you, Selena Gomez

company, Justin Bieber

yours, Raiden

crushing, illenium

begin again, Taylor Swift

feels like, Gracie Abraham

link

When all is said and done, and the person you loved is no longer there, what's left to do? How do you cope when you've given your all, only to find yourself empty, a mere shell of your former self? It's like being left with nothing but bones and muscles, a broken machine barely keeping you going.

So, how do you restart? How do you function when they've taken everything and left you with nothing? How do you shift your mindset to believe that this is all for the better? And most daunting of all, how do you open your heart to love again?

It feels like trying to breathe without air, as if the very essence of life has deserted you, leaving behind a jagged landscape of shattered pieces. It's dangerous to get too close to those sharp edges, so you stand alone and don't let anyone close. Trying to find yourself again.

Stand alone and contemplate what you've gotten yourself into and what you've done to yourself. How could you have ignored the warning signs? They were crystal clear. How could you have not predicted it? Too innocent.

Too gullible to let him in.

Thinking about it now feels pointless. "He was a nice guy, but he was too caught up in himself. He never really saw me. He claimed he did, but I never felt truly understood," you confide while he brews your coffee.

"I never felt loved by him," you add, as he sets the mugs on the counter—one for each of you. It's a chilly evening, and the cafe where he works is quieter than usual. You're a regular here; it feels like a safe haven, a place where you can find comfort in familiarity. You accept your coffee in silence, opting not to say more.

"Take a deep breath," he urges, his voice gentle as he nods, trying to seem strong and supportive. "How?" you reply absentmindedly, staring out the window where the fog thickens by the second. The ache in your heart grows, and despair overwhelms you as you fall back into the familiar trap of negative thoughts.

"He wasn't giving you what you needed. You shouldn't have to beg for love. Believe me when I say it's for the best that he's gone." He says.

"I loved him."

"You did, Maybe you still do, but people change," he interjects gently, his gaze fixed on the coffee between you, his words carefully chosen. "In different ways. You may have promised forever, but forever is a long time. Sometimes you grow together, and sometimes... you grow apart. It's nobody's fault in the end. You just drift away, lose that connection, maybe take each other for granted, and before you know it, the fights start."

His voice falters slightly, betraying the depth of his emotions. "I know it might not make sense right now, but what I'm trying to say is... you deserved more than what he could give you. Trust me, you're better off without him."

You inhale deeply, shaking your head in resignation. Raindrops cascade down the window, distorting the glow of the city lights outside. His words echo in your mind, and as you take another sip of coffee, its comforting aroma envelops you. Yes, he's right. You're undeniably better off without him, yet the ache lingers.

Why does it still hurt, months after the breakup? Why does the pain persist, stubbornly refusing to fade away? Days blur into months, but the heartache remains a constant companion. People change, move on. But the pain always stays. It gets a little better each day. You learn to accept. You learn to love yourself. Yet, just when you think you've moved on, something triggers that familiar ache, dragging you back to square one.

But life doesn't pause for heartache. Despite the pain, the world keeps spinning, and you move forward, one step forward and three steps back, hating, crying, wanting, but never stopping.

~~~

A year and almost a half have passed since then. Things have been getting better. The clouds are clearing up, leaving behind a little less hurt and a lot more clarity. There's a sense of hold, of something stirring within—gratefulness, perhaps, or hope. Or maybe its the sound of a familiar ring at the door. You turn around to see a familiar face, a smile lighting up your face as you recognize Johnny.

"A latte, please," you say as he approaches, his presence bringing a comforting warmth to the room. Johnny nods, his gentle demeanor never faltering as he starts to brew your coffee. Johnny's a gentleman, and a law student. He works part-time in this cafe, not because he's broke or anything. He simply lives the high life. Gym first, then college, and then in the cafe followed by late nights of studying. He's a quiet guy who keeps to himself. Disciplined and courteous. Doesn't really like to waste his time on the things undeserving of his attention.

Your friendship with Johnny began in this very place. You remember it must have been around 10 o'clock at night, you had just split up with your ex. It was a stormy night, It felt like the world was collapsing around you and someone was sucking the breath out of your lungs, alone and broken, you found this cafe nearby. The rain was pouring nonstop, so you decide to take refuge, sitting in the corner, your tears flow with the raindrops tapping against the windowpane.

Jhonny brings you a cup of coffee and a napkin with words of reassurance, "It'll be okay, just hold on."

He saw you when you felt invisible to the world, and he understood you when no one else could. In Johnny, you found not just a friend, but a shimmer of light in your darkest moments.

You still have that note.

Jhonny could hardly fathom the possibility of falling in love, especially with someone as uniquely eccentric as you. Little did he know, his heart had already been quietly captivated by your presence over the passing months. As you walked through that door, disheveled and drenched from the rain, the only word that echoed in his mind was "beautiful." From that moment on, an unspoken longing stirred within him, urging him to reach out and connect with you. He extended that napkin, not just to offer solace, but as a gesture of his desire to understand you, to unravel the mysteries you hide behind those smiles. There was an enigmatic force pulling him toward you, compelling him to take that first step.

You became a regular at the café, grateful for Johnny's caring nature. It seemed like nobody else noticed you like he did. Unintentionally, Johnny had fallen deeply in love with you over the past few months. He paid attention to everything about you - your likes, dislikes, comfort songs, and movies you could watch a 100 times.

He became your confidance, your best friend, always there when you needed him. Watching you cry over someone unworthy filled him with the desire to show you wat true love actually is. Late at night, he found himself thinking about you, wondering if you were okay, if you had eaten, or if you were thinking of him. He felt your sadness as if it were his own and rejoiced in your happiness. But despite his feelings, he couldn't bring himself to confess his love.

Simply put, Johnny wanted you. He wanted to show you what true love was, and that no girl deserved to be treated the way you were, left alone in the middle of nowhere, weeping in the pouring rain. Hearing about your past hurt him, but it also revealed your strength and resilience, which only made him love you more. He wasn't drawn to the roses and smiles you showed the world; he was captivated by the scars and bruises you tried to hide.

The more Johnny got to know you, the deeper he fell.

However, he made a conscious decision to hold back because he didn't want to become a rebound love. Instead, he wished for you to heal from the wounds of your past relationship, to move forward and see him for who he truly was, not just as a replacement for what your ex lacked.

He longed for the day when you would accept him completely, with no remains of the past clouding your judgment. So, he waited patiently, hoping for your heart to mend. Hoping for you to let go. Hoping for you to see him.

Time passed away, six months turned into a year, yet you still struggled to let go completely. Though it was getting better, the ghost of your past still lingered, haunting your thoughts and emotions.

How could you not feel shattered? Johnny was just too good for you, too kind. But when you've been hurt before, love becomes terrifying. Trying to piece things together while pretending to be okay is exhausting. It's hard to focus on anything when you're struggling to keep it together. Knowing you love someone and they love you back, yet being unable to fully embrace it because you're afraid of losing them, of getting hurt again - it's paralyzing.

And then there's the guilt. Even though your past relationship ended a year ago, the promises made still weigh heavily on your conscience. How do you reconcile having Johnny in your thoughts while someone else occupies a part of your heart? It feels unfair to him, but you can't shake the feeling.

How are you supposed to let go and move forward when your heart is still stuck in the past? People say "move on" like it's easy, it's anything but easy. It feels like an impossible task, especially when nobody seems to understand what you're going through.

Except for him. Johnny. He understands.

It's so damn difficult," you thought to yourself, feeling the weight of your emotions. Letting go seemed like the simplest solution, but in reality, it was anything but easy. As Johnny led you towards his flat, the thought lingered at the back of your mind.

He mentioned the party he was hosting with his friends at him appartment, someone got a job or something. The atmosphere inside was luxurious, yet simple. with crimson sofas exuding a regal aura in the soft golden light. The air was filled with the sweet scent of vanilla candles and the sound of champagne being poured, it was cozy.

The gathering was intimate, with only the chosen few invited. Amidst the fancy party, all you could think about was Johnny. You wanted to tell him how you felt, that you'd fallen for him too, about the guilt that shouldn't be feeling. Johnny was the best guy you'd ever met, and you couldn't just let him go because you were scared. Even though your past hasn't been great, you didn't want to hurt him because you knew he loved you too. Since the day you met, he's been there for you. And he still is, always there in every little thing. It feels like you're stuck in between, torn between your feelings for him and the uncertainty.

As Johnny left momentarily, you found yourself walking towards the balcony, away from the small talk and pretense inside, with a bottle of champagne. all you needed was a stunning view of the city's glittering skyscrapers, illuminated by the twinkling lights.

You craved peace of mind, a moment to quiet the storm raging within you. Being around Johnny, even for just an hour, had a profound effect on you, all the thoughts and insecurities on one side, and all the feelings of desire and lust, unlike anything you've ever experienced before.

There was no rush of blood and getting all hot and bothered every time your prior partner looked at you. You would never have felt this shy and nervous in his presence. Yes, there was attraction, but nothing like this, but with Johnny, it is the exact opposite. His mere presence left you weak-kneed and breathless, yearning to surrender to the intoxicating pull between you. He awakens you. He makes you want to succumb to him, give into him.

Yes, you yearn to experience the warmth of love, to be cherished and valued in return. And perhaps, deep down, you crave these feelings from Johnny, who has shown himself to be both kind and breathtakingly amazing. The way he gazes at you speaks volumes about his feelings for you.

It's confusing, isn't it? Frightening even. Because all you've ever known about Love is that it breaks and burns and ends, yet here you are, falling for Johnny despite your fears. It's a terrifying feeling, but there's something about it that makes you want to continue. Makes you want to keep dreaming. But you're afraid to confess your feelings, terrified that you'll only end up hurting Johnny in the process. It's hard to find the words, to admit to yourself, let alone to him, that you're falling for him. But despite the uncertainty and the fear, there's an urge within you, a desire to reach out and claim him for your own. All you want is to grab his face, to feel his lips against yours, and to lose yourself in the sweetness of his embrace.

Hard.

And never let him go. You've been thinking about it, about you. And him. And since, you've been moving on, you've been trying to forget and forgive and embrace and accept. You have come to a conclusion that amidst all the chaos, Johnny was the only one there. And that you have hopelessly fallen in love with him.

~~~

Hey," he says, joining you on the balcony, "you're standing alone?"

"Hey jj," you reply, meeting his gaze.

"You call me 'jj' when you're happy," he remarks, puzzled because your tone isn't cheerful.

"I guess I'm happy, sort of. It's been a while, but it feels good," you admit, looking at him standing beside you. He smiles, his eyes filled with happiness. He's genuinely pleased for you.

"That's great," he says with genuine enthusiasm. "Actually, that's fantastic."

He eyes the glass of alcohol in your hand. "Can I have that glass, though?"

That's great," he says with genuine enthusiasm. "Actually, that's fantastic."

He eyes the glass of alcohol in your hand. "Can I have that glass, though?"

"Nope, I'm having a pretty good time," you say, pulling the glass away from him. He noticed a whole bottle nearby on the floor. "I think you've had enough for the night, darling."

darling.

Even in the dim light, Johnny couldn't miss the blush spreading across your cheeks. He's skilled at noticing your reactions and knows how to tease you.

Trying to steer the conversation away from any awkwardness, you say, "So I was thinking..."

"About?" he interjects playfully, trying to provoke a response.

"Everything that's happened, you know, with my ex, and then with you," you begin, but he interrupts.

"Oh, nothing happened between us, as far as I can remember... unless..." he trails off, a mischievous glint in his eye.

"That's not what I meant," you quickly clarify.

"Okay, okay, just kidding. But I kinda wish you did mean it," he mutters under his breath, a smirk forming on his face.

You feel your thoughts becoming fuzzy as you both dance around the topic. Usually, your brain would shut down any such ideas, but tonight feels different. Instead of being repelled, you feel drawn to him, wanting something you've suppressed for so long.

Despite trying to hold back, you find yourself unable to think of anything else.

As the alcohol courses through your veins, emboldening your desires, you find yourself unable to resist the urge to ask him what has been in your mind for quite a long time, and so you ask "If I were to ask for a kiss, would you kiss me? Right here, right now?"

The intensity in his gaze heightens, his pupils dilating as his demeanor shifts, becoming more serious. "Ask me," he demands, his jaw clenched with anticipation. His eyes linger on your lips before locking onto yours, a silent plea echoing within them.

Overwhelmed by the intensity of his gaze, you turn away, feeling a rush of emotions flooding your senses. With a deep breath, you struggle to compose yourself, but before you can respond, he chuckles softly. "I knew you didn't have the nerve," he remarks, his tone teasing yet tinged with disappointment. Meeting his gaze once more, you're taken aback by his confidence. As he straightens himself and takes a sip of his drink, his words hang heavily in the air. "I don't know how much longer I can wait for you," he confesses, his voice low and filled with longing, "but if you were to ask me to fuck you right here, right now, I wouldn't even think once." With that declaration, practically deadpanned on your face, he goes inside the flat, leaving you to grapple with your miserable self.

~~~

The night after that seemed to stretch endlessly, a void you couldn't escape. Frustration and regret gnawed at your mind, You turned to more alcohol, a fleeting attempt to numb the pain within, but it only amplified the train of thoughts swirling in your head.

As you sat alone on the balcony, the chilly night air enveloped you, matching the coldness you felt inside. Time lost its meaning, slipping through your fingers as you drowned in a sea of overthinking. Every possible scenario played out in your mind like a relentless storm, each outcome more daunting than the last. What could have happened if you could have just said.

Johnny appears through the doorframe. His presence was unexpected, you thought he was mad yet oddly comforting, a reminder that you weren't completely alone in this chaotic night. "Will you spend the whole night here?" he asked, concern etched in his voice. But you were too lost in your own thoughts to fully grasp his words.

Refusing to retreat from your self-imposed exile, you remained rooted to the spot, the numbness spreading through your limbs. Yet Johnny persisted, his care evident as he gently coaxed you back inside. "It's cold. Come inside, everybody left already," he urged, worry evident in his eyes.

Too weary to resist, you allowed him to guide you indoors, his touch grounding you in reality. As he settled you into his bed, a wave of familiarity washed over you, a stark reminder of the times you'd been here before, always on the edge of leaving. You had been here countless times, yet never truly stayed. But tonight was different. Tonight, you found yourself unable to muster the strength to leave, surrendering to the comfort of his presence, if only for a fleeting moment.

As he guided you to sit on the edge of the bed, you instinctively reached out, clinging to his shirt. "Kiss me," you implored, your gaze locking with his warm brown eyes, overflowing with affection.

His response came with a gentle sigh, his concern evident in the furrow of his brow. "You're drunk," he stated softly, his voice laced with worry.

"I am, but I can still make sense of it all," you insisted, determination shining through the haze of intoxication.

"We'll talk about it in the morning, okay?" Johnny reassured, his face drawing closer to yours.

"Please," you exhaled, closing your eyes, feeling the weight of your confession pressing down on you. "I know I'm the worst person alive right now but I- I'm just afraid. Please understand. I want you, I do, but it's so scary."

"Shh, it's okay, I know," he murmured, his words a soothing balm to your troubled soul. "I know you're trying."

Foreheads pressed together, your breaths mingled, each exhalation a testament to the vulnerability you shared in that moment. "I'm sorry," you whispered, the weight of your guilt heavy on your heart.

"You don't have to be," he replied, his lips brushing against your forehead in a tender gesture of forgiveness. "Look at me."

As you met his gaze once more, his eyes filled with understanding and compassion. "Relax, okay? I'm happy that you opened up about it."

"I'm sorry," you repeated, the words a mantra of remorse.He shook his head gently, his touch comforting. "Let's try sleeping now, shall we? Don't think about it." With his reassurance enveloping you like a warm blanket, you allowed yourself to drift into the embrace of sleep, for the first time with him.

As consciousness reluctantly seeped into your foggy mind, a wave of discomfort washed over you, fueled by the repercussions of last night's poor choices. The harsh glare of morning light pierced through your eyelids, adding to the throbbing ache behind your temples.

Attempting to remove yourself from the confines of the bed proved to be a tough task, your limbs heavy with exhaustion and your head swimming with dizziness. Searching for Johnny's presence beside you, you found only an empty space, adding to the disorientation.

Succumbing to defeat, you surrendered to the comfy embrace of the mattress, sinking into its softness as you lay there, gazing blankly at the ceiling above. Dehydration gnawed at your parched throat. As you drifted in and out of consciousness, the world around you faded into a haze of half-formed thoughts and fleeting sensations. The rhythmic hum of the ceiling fan above served as a lullaby.

In the midst of this surreal feeling, fragments of memories from the night before flickered like distant stars in the night sky. Realization and what-ifs danced at the edges of your mind, their haunting presence a constant reminder of the consequences of your actions.

Yet, amidst the turmoil, there lingered a glimmer of hope, a faint whisper of possibility that perhaps, despite the mistakes of the past, redemption was still within reach. You clung to this fragile thread of optimism, a lifeline in the midst of the storm.

Minutes stretched into hours, the passage of time marked only by the shifting patterns of sunlight filtering through the curtains. And then, as if on cue, the sound of footsteps drew near, with a weary sigh, you opened your eyes to find Johnny standing in the doorway, his expression a mixture of concern and relief. "Hey, you okay?" he asked softly, you nodded sleepily.

As you reluctantly stirred from your sleep, you felt the duvet being tugged away, prompting a sleepy protest. "Erugh, let me sleep," you mumbled, trying to shield yourself from the intruding light.

But his teasing remark about your state of dress snapped you awake, and you jolted up, "You're completely naked," only to realize you were already covered. He pointed out with a playful grin, causing you to blush and scramble for cover.

However, your movements triggered a sharp pain in your head, and you winced, instinctively reaching to soothe it. Before you could fully register the discomfort, another hand joined yours, gently stroking your head. Slowly opening your eyes, you found him sitting close, his concern evident in his gaze.

"Who told you to drink that much? You puked two times," he said softly, his tone filled with worry and care. Giving in to his touch, you leaned into him, finding solace in his presence amidst the pain.

"I... may have overdone it a bit," you admitted sheepishly, feeling a mix of embarrassment and gratitude for his concern. He chuckled softly, his fingers continuing to massage your head as you relaxed against him.

"It's okay. Just drink some water and take it easy," he reassured you, his voice a soothing balm to your frazzled nerves. With a nod, you reached for the glass he held out to you

He's far too good for you. A voice at the back of your head screams at you.

"Johnny..." you say, breaking the silence that hung heavy in the room. His presence alone was enough to make your heart race, but you needed to speak your mind.

He turns to you, his gaze softening as he listens intently. "What is it?" he asks, concern lacing his words.

You take a deep breath, gathering your thoughts before continuing. "I've been thinking about..." you trail off, unsure of how to articulate the right words.

Johnny reaches out, his hand placing a strand of hair behind your ear,offering silent support. "Go on," he encourages gently.

"I'm sorry," you say, the words heavy with regret. "I know this is complicated, and i am making it even more complicated but I just don't want to hurt you." You could barely manage to say even that.

Your breath catches in your throat as his fingers trail through the loops of your hair, sending shivers down your spine. His hum reverberates through you, a sensual melody that ignites a fire deep within. But then, in an instant, his demeanor shifts, catching you off guard.

His hand tightens around your hair, pulling your head back with a swift, yet gentle force. The sudden change in his touch sends a rush of adrenaline through your veins, heightening your senses to the electrifying proximity between you.

Your eyes meet his, dark and intense, and you find yourself unable to look away. His breath, warm and fruity, fans over your face, stirring something primal within you. In that moment, you're acutely aware of every sensation, every heartbeat, as you surrender to the magnetic pull of desire that envelops you both.

"Can't you see what you do to me?"

Johnny..." you say, your voice barely above a whisper, the intensity of the moment almost overwhelming.

He pauses, his eyes locked with yours, waiting for you to continue.

"I... I didn't mean..." you stutter, struggling to find the right words as his grip on your hair loosens.

He chuckles softly, his laughter dancing in the air, easing some of the tension between you. "I know, I know," he reassures you, his tone gentle yet teasing.

"But..." you start, only to be cut off by his next words.

"You talk a lot when you're drunk," he says with a smirk, his fingers tracing light patterns along your skin.

Your cheeks flush with embarrassment, knowing he's right.

"What did I say?" you ask, trying to piece together the fragments of the night before.

His gaze softens, a hint of mischief glinting in his eyes. "That you tend to get... aroused whenever I say your name," he says, his voice low and husky, sending a shiver down your spine.

You shake your head in denial, but deep down, you know he's right.

He leans in closer, his breath warm against your skin, sending tingles of anticipation coursing through your veins.

"Johnny..." you breathe out his name, a mixture of desire and uncertainty swirling in your mind as he hovers above you, his presence consuming your senses.

"Say it," he urges, his voice low and demanding, sending a thrill through your body.

"Johnny, listen to m—" you begin, but he cuts you off with a firm command.

"Say it!" he insists, his intensity leaving no room for argument.

"I want you, for fuck's sake, I want you," you finally admit, your voice tinged with both desire and vulnerability.

Closing your eyes, you release the grip you've been holding onto, allowing yourself to surrender to the overwhelming attraction between you.

You lay back, flattening against the bed, pushing your hair away from your face to meet his gaze head-on. His eyes, dark and intense, never waver from yours, sending a flutter of nerves through your stomach.

"I want you, in every way possible, and it's no secret. I'm just afraid," you confess in a small voice, baring your soul to him.

Johnny's smile is reassuring, his touch gentle as he lays on top of you, ensuring he doesn't overwhelm you with his weight. "Don't be afraid," he whispers, his breath warm against your skin. "You'll love me just fine."

In that moment, as you lay entwined with him, all your fears melt away, replaced by a sense of warmth and comfort in his embrace. You know that no matter what lies ahead, you're ready to explore this newfound connection with him by your side.

As Johnny hovers above you, his gaze dark with desire, you feel a surge of anticipation coursing through your veins. His lips brush against yours in a teasing caress, igniting a fire that burns hot and fierce between you.

"I've been waiting for this," he murmurs, his voice low and husky with need as he trails kisses down your neck, leaving a trail of fire in his wake.

You arch into his touch, a soft moan escaping your lips as his hands roam your body, exploring every curve and contour with an expert touch that leaves you trembling with desire.

"God, you're so beautiful," he whispers, his breath hot against the skin of your neck as he takes you in, his eyes drinking in every inch of you. You feel his breath against your skin, warm and inviting, as he leans in closer, his lips brushing against yours in a feather-light kiss.

With each touch, each caress, the tension between you dissolves, replaced by an electric current of desire that pulses through your veins. His hands roam your body, mapping every curve and contour with a reverence that leaves you breathless.

You arch into his touch, a soft sigh escaping your lips as he explores every inch of your skin with a delicate touch that sets your senses ablaze. His fingers trace patterns along your spine, sending shivers of pleasure racing down your spine.

Your lips collided with his in a heated embrace, sending shockwaves of desire coursing through both of your bodies. Crashing into each other, feelings of desire over powering you both. In that moment you knew, it was gonna be a hell of a ride and you couldn't be any more excited than you are right now.

After the kiss, you both laid side by side, "By the way you didn't really say any of that." Johnny gently whispers in your ear, and you both end up laughing, cuddling.

~~~

You like it?" Johnny asks, his eyes sparkling with warmth as he watches you take a lick of the ice cream. You nod enthusiastically, a wide smile spreading across your face like a child on Christmas morning. His smile widens in response, a soft glow of happiness emanating from him. It's moments like these that make everything feel so right.

Since that unforgettable day when you poured your heart out to him, your life has been like a dream come true. Flowers, date nights, chocolates – you name it, he's made sure to fill your days with joy and love. From cozy movie nights to endless cuddles, it's like you've found the missing piece to your puzzle.

But it's not all sunshine and rainbows. Like any couple, you have your disagreements. Yet, what sets you apart is the unwavering understanding and support you both offer each other. Johnny never lets you go to bed upset, always there with reassurance and kisses to mend any hurt feelings.

He constantly reminds you that you're doing just fine, and it's true. It's not just about healing from past wounds; it's about the beautiful exchange of giving and receiving love. It's about reciprocating the care and affection you both share, knowing that the more you give, the more you receive.

In a world where it's easy to become complacent, you both choose to love each other every single day. And that, in itself, is the greatest gift of all.

You plead with puppy dog eyes, urging him to let you indulge in more ice cream because, well, why not? 'Pleeease let me have another scoop!' you whine, the anticipation of the creamy goodness making your mouth water. But alas, he declines with a chuckle, warning, 'No way! You'll catch a cold!' You pout, but secretly admire his concern."

Disappointed but not defeated, you pout and playfully stick out your bottom lip, giving Johnny your best puppy-dog eyes. "But Johnny," you protest, "I promise I'll bundle up extra warm tonight! Pretty please?"

Johnny can't help but laugh at your antics, finding your determination to get that extra scoop of ice cream utterly endearing. He shakes his head, still chuckling, and gently takes your hand in his. "As much as I love seeing that adorable pout of yours, I can't risk you getting sick, [Reader]. How about we save the ice cream for tomorrow, hmm?"

You sigh dramatically, but a mischievous glint dances in your eyes as you lean in closer to him. "Fine," you concede, "but only if you promise to share a warm blanket and snuggle with me tonight."

A grin spreads across Johnny's face as he leans in to press a soft kiss to your forehead. "Deal," he agrees, his voice filled with warmth and affection. "Anything for you, my love."

As you both leave the ice cream parlor, the cool evening air wraps around you, the gentle breeze a welcome contrast to the warmth of your intertwined hands. As you both step into the cozy cafe, the familiar scent of freshly brewed coffee fills the air, bringing back memories of the first time you met. Johnny's hand tightens around yours, his touch sending a thrill through you that's impossible to ignore.

You find a secluded booth in the corner, and as you settle in, Johnny's eyes lock with yours, a silent invitation sparking between you. "You know," he murmurs, his voice low and husky, "this place holds a lot of memories for us."

You nod, a soft smile playing on your lips. "It feels like just yesterday that we were sitting here, nervously sipping our coffees," you reply, your voice filled with affection.

Johnny leans in closer, his breath warm against your ear. "But this time," he whispers, "we don't have to be nervous." A shiver runs down your spine at his words, and you meet his gaze with a newfound sense of boldness. "No, this time," you say, your voice steady and sure, "we can just be us."

With a gentle touch, Johnny cups your face in his hands, his eyes searching yours with a depth of emotion that takes your breath away. "I like the sound of that," he murmurs, his lips hovering just inches from yours.

Before you can respond, his lips capture yours in a passionate kiss, the world around you fading away as you lose yourself in the heat of the moment. It's a dance of tongues and teeth, of whispered words and soft sighs, each touch igniting a fire that burns hotter with every passing second.

As you finally pull away, breathless and flushed, Johnny's eyes meet yours with a hunger that mirrors your own. "I never want to stop kissing you," he confesses, his voice thick with desire.

A smile tugs at your lips as you lean in to press another kiss to his, the promise of countless more moments like this hanging in the air between you.

~~~

As you sit at your desk, textbooks spread out before you and notes scattered across the surface, you're fully immersed in your study session. The material is dense, and you're determined to grasp every concept before the upcoming exam.

Just as you're deep in concentration, Johnny enters the room with a mischievous grin, his eyes lighting up at the sight of you buried in your books. Without a word, he crosses the room and leans against your desk, his presence a distraction you can't ignore.

"Hey there, studious one," he says, his voice low and playful. "Need a break?"

You look up from your books, torn between the desire to keep studying and the temptation of Johnny's irresistible charm. "I really should finish this chapter," you reply, trying to sound firm despite the flutter in your stomach at his proximity.

But Johnny has other plans. With a swift movement, he slides your textbooks aside and pulls you to your feet, his hands finding their way to your waist as he draws you close. "I think you've earned a reward for all that hard work," he murmurs, his lips dangerously close to yours.

Before you can protest, Johnny's mouth descends on yours in a fiery kiss, his tongue tracing the outline of your lips before delving deeper, igniting a fire within you that threatens to consume you both. Lost in the heat of the moment, you abandon all thoughts of studying as you melt into his embrace, the world around you fading away until there's nothing left but the two of you and the intoxicating rush of desire.

Minutes, or maybe hours, pass in a blur of tangled limbs and heated kisses, until finally, you break apart, breathless and flushed, the taste of Johnny still lingering on your lips. "Now that's what I call a study break," he says with a grin, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

You can't help but laugh, the tension of the study session now a distant memory as you bask in the warmth of Johnny's love and the thrill of his touch.

~~~

As you made your way back from college, the skies darkened, and before you knew it, a heavy downpour unleashed its fury upon you. The rain hammered down relentlessly, soaking you up and down. Despite the continuous ringing of your phone from within your backpack, the rain made it impossible to retrieve. With no umbrella in hand, you quickened your pace towards the bus stop, only to witness the last bus pulling away just as you rounded the corner. Desperation set in as you attempted to sprint after it, but the distance between you and the departing vehicle only widened. Defeated, you exhaled heavily, feeling the chill of the rain seeping into your bones. Seeking refuge at the bus stop, you huddled under its shelter, which wasn't helping much.

As you stood there, shivering and dripping, you couldn't shake the feeling of unease creeping over you. The relentless rain seemed to whisper secrets in the wind. With each passing moment, your mind raced with thoughts of your worried boyfriend waiting at home, unaware of your predicament.

As you glanced down at your phone, the screen illuminated with missed calls and frantic messages from him. Frustration bubbled within you, knowing that you were only adding to his worry by being stranded in the storm. You tried to call him back, but the signal was weak, and the connection kept cutting out. Time seemed to stretch endlessly as you waited for the next bus, the minutes ticking by like hours.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the bus appeared on the horizon, its headlights piercing through the darkness like a beacon of hope. With a sigh of relief, you boarded the bus, grateful for the warmth and safety it offered. And soon you were standing in front of his appointment door.

As the bus finally pulled up to a stop, you hurriedly disembarked, your heart pounding with a mix of fear and relief. You practically sprinted the rest of the way home, the rain still coming down in sheets, soaking you to the bone.

Finally, you arrived at the doorstep of your apartment, soaked and shivering. With trembling hands, you fumbled for your keys, desperate to be inside the safety of your home. But before you could even insert the key into the lock, the door swung open, revealing a worried and furious Johnny.

"Where have you been?!" he exclaimed, his voice laced with anger and concern. "I've been trying to call you for hours! Do you have any idea how worried I've been?"

"I-I'm so sorry, Johnny," you stammered, tears mixing with the rain on your cheeks. "I got caught in the storm, and I missed the bus, and...and I couldn't get through to you. I'm so sorry."

Johnny's expression softened as he took in your trembling form, his anger melting away in an instant. Without a word, he pulled you into a tight embrace, wrapping his arms around you protectively. "I'm just glad you're safe," he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "I was so worried about you. Let's get you inside and warm you up, okay?"

You nod, feeling the weight of your backpack against the wall as you follow Johnny into the bedroom. With a quick movement, you pull your hair up, hoping to keep it from sticking to your clothes. Sensing his hands on your torso, you inhale sharply as they glide around to the front, undoing the button of your jeans. Anticipation mounts as he pulls them down, and then he sits, planting kisses on your damp thigh, eliciting a dissatisfied moan from you.

In a swift motion, your undies join the jeans on the floor. "Nice butt," he remarks, drawing a rhetorical look from you. Stepping closer, he removes the t-shirt clinging uncomfortably to your skin, and with it, your bra disappears too. "Beautiful as always," he murmurs, enveloping you in a warm towel and pulling you close, his lips finding your neck, leaving their mark.

"Johnny," you sigh as his hands slip under the towel, teasingly moving between your legs, knowing just where to stop, leaving you breathless. "I'll be right back, change into dry clothes, okay?" he says, his voice a tantalizing promise hanging in the air.

He returned with a steaming mug of tea, fragrant steam curling upwards in the air. He handed it to you with a tender smile, the warmth of the mug seeping into your chilled fingers.

"Here, drink this," he said softly, his voice soothing.. "It'll help warm you up."

"I only need you to warm me up."

"Come here then." He motions you to sit with him in the bed he made, warm and cozy. As you lay there in Johnny's arms, the intimacy of the moment enveloping you like a warm embrace, you couldn't help but feel a surge of emotion welling up inside you.

"Johnny," you murmured softly, your voice barely above a whisper, "I'm so sorry for worrying you. I never meant to cause you so much distress."

Johnny's arms tightened around you, pulling you even closer to him as he pressed a tender kiss to your forehead. "It's okay, sweetheart," he whispered back, his voice filled with reassurance. "I was just so scared when I couldn't reach you. All I could think about was making sure you were safe."

You buried your face against his chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat a soothing lullaby against your ear. "I promise I'll be more careful from now on," you vowed, your words muffled against his skin. "I never want to put you through that kind of worry again."

Johnny tilted your chin up gently, his eyes locking with yours in a tender gaze. "I know you will," he said softly, his thumb brushing away the tears that had pooled in your eyes. "And I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

With a contented sigh, you snuggled closer to him, reveling in the warmth and comfort of his embrace. Johnny's fingers danced along the buttons of your blouse, a spark of desire ignited between you, fueling the passion that simmered just beneath the surface.

"How about we finish what we started earlier?"

Your heart raced at his words, the anticipation building with every breath. With a smile, you nodded in agreement, your own desire mirrored in your eyes as you leaned in to meet his lips in a fiery kiss.

The heat between you intensified quickly, passion igniting like a wildfire as your bodies melded together in a tangle of desire. Teeth clashed against each other, tongues danced in a feverish rhythm, and hands roamed eagerly, seeking out every inch of skin they could find.

With a swift movement, you straddled Johnny, taking control of the moment as you traced a path of kisses down his neck, relishing in the soft gasps and low growls that escaped his lips. As his shirt fell away, revealing his beautifully toned body beneath, you couldn't help but admire the sight before you, feeling a surge of desire coursing through your veins.

Too shy to say anything, you let your actions speak for you. Lingering on his nipples, you teased and tantalized, eliciting soft moans of pleasure from Johnny's lips. With each flick of your tongue and gentle nip of your teeth, the tension between you grew, pushing you both closer and closer to the edge of desire.

But you weren't done yet. With a mischievous glint in your eye, you continued your exploration, trailing kisses and caresses down Johnny's torso until you reached the waistband of his jeans. With practiced hands, you teased and toyed with him through the fabric, making him harder with every stroke, relishing in the way he squirmed beneath your touch.

As his pleasured groans filled the air, you couldn't resist escalating your actions, eagerly sliding his pants down while he sat up, fixated on your every move. Locking eyes with him, you took him into your mouth, teasingly tracing the tip with your tongue, prompting a soft curse from his lips. Pulling back, you continued to lavish attention on him, savoring every moment as you licked his length, stealing glances up at him. "Enjoying yourself?" you teased, to which he responded with an enthusiastic nod.

Returning to him, you gradually took more of him into your mouth, relishing in the way his hands urged you on, guiding you further down. He pulled you up for a heated kiss, expressing his desire to explore your taste. As his lips trailed down your neck, he urged you to sit on his face, igniting nerves and excitement within you. With his encouragement, you straddled his eager mouth, blushing at his sweet words as his lips planted kisses on your thighs.

Feeling his hands on your hips, he drew you closer, his tongue eagerly finding your clit, eliciting moans of pleasure from you. As his hands explored your body, adding to your arousal, you couldn't help but cry out in bliss as he skillfully pleasured you,

As your pleasure surged, you couldn't contain your cries, feeling the intensity of his actions. "Oh, fuck," escaped your lips as he intensified his efforts, his mouth and tongue working fervently on your clit. His suction grew stronger, his tongue moving with increasing speed, drawing out guttural moans from you. "Oh my god," you exclaimed as the waves of your orgasm crashed over you, "fuck," you moaned as he persisted in his ministrations.

His hands gripping your hips, pulling you closer, he delved deeper into your core, his touch sending shivers down your spine. "Oh god, don't stop," you gasped, your breath ragged as you requested his fingers. With a calm demeanor, he complied, easing his fingers into you, eliciting a blissful moan from your lips. As he continued to pleasure you, his fingers moving rhythmically inside you, your cries of ecstasy filled the room.

"Oh my god," you moaned aloud as he momentarily paused, only to reposition himself behind you. Bending you slightly, he inserted two fingers, drawing out a soft, pleasurable moan from you. With relentless determination, he showed no mercy, driving you towards another peak of pleasure. The sound of slick noises filled the air as his fingers worked expertly within you, pushing your head gently into the headboard to ensure your stability as you surrendered to his touch.

As his hand pressed you down onto his fingers, a fervent moan escaped your lips, the sensation overwhelming you. "Oh my god," you cried out as he intensified his movements, driving you wild with desire. With increasing speed and force, his fingers plunged into you, eliciting a chorus of ecstatic moans from your lips.

Suddenly, he withdrew his fingers, his command clear. "Turn around," he instructed, guiding you gently as you complied, meeting his intense gaze. Enveloped in his embrace, you shared a deep, passionate kiss, his desire evident in his words as he broke the connection. "I want to fuck you," he declared, and you eagerly nodded in agreement, urgency coursing through your veins.

Pushed onto the bed, your legs spread wide, you watched as he knelt between them, his eyes fixated on your dripping arousal. His finger traced circles on your swollen clit, then slipped inside you, claiming you as his own. "Mine," he whispered, his gaze never wavering from yours, and you nodded in submission, a smile playing on your lips. "I'm yours," you affirmed, anticipation building in the air.

With a hungry look, he licked his lips before slowly entering you with his cock, causing you to gasp in ecstasy. "Oh my god," you moaned loudly as he began to move within you, the intensity of his thrusts driving you to the brink of pleasure.

As he increased the pace, driving into you with fervent desire, your cries of ecstasy filled the room. "Oh my god," you moaned loudly as he relentlessly fucked you, each thrust pushing you closer to the edge. Leaning down, he captured your lips in a passionate kiss, his declaration of love mingling with the sounds of your pleasure. "I love you," he murmured against your lips, his words igniting a fire within you.

Wrapping your legs around his waist, you reciprocated his declaration, your voice filled with desire. "I love you too," you confessed as he continued to ravish you with his relentless thrusts. With a swift motion, he withdrew from you, flipping you onto your stomach. "Get on all fours," he commanded, assisting you into position.

Meeting his gaze over your shoulder, you were met with a declaration of your beauty, sending shivers down your spine. As he entered you from behind, a rush of anticipation flooded your senses. His movements became more intense, driving into you harder and faster, eliciting moans of pleasure from your lips. "Oh my god," you cried out, overwhelmed by the sensations coursing through your body.

Feeling his hand reach around to play with your clit, a surge of pleasure washed over you, intensifying the pleasure building within. "Oh my god," you moaned again, lost in the ecstasy of his touch. With each deep thrust, you felt yourself teetering on the edge, your body aching for release.

As he took control, holding both your hands behind your back, you surrendered to him completely. Your petite frame under his dominance, your face buried into the sheets muffling the sounds of pleasure escaping your lips. Sensing his impending release, you knew you were on the brink of ecstasy.

With a few final, deep thrusts, you both succumbed to the ecstasy, waves of pleasure washing over you in a euphoric crescendo. As he pulled out, licking you clean, you whimpered from the overstimulation, your body trembling with aftershocks of pleasure.

a sense of blissful exhaustion washed over you both. Lying tangled together under the sheet, hearts racing and skin still tingling from the intensity of your lovemaking. As you caught your breath, he peppered soft kisses along your neck and shoulders, his touch gentle and tender. "You're incredible," he whispered, his voice filled with adoration as he caressed your cheek. You smiled up at him. In his arms, you feel safe and cherished, the weight of the world melting away as sleep begins to claim you. Drifting off with the rhythmic beat of his heart as your lullaby, you rest easy knowing that you are safe. And you finally know, what love actually feels like

~~~

hope you liked it. umh? idk tried, if you want to request anything, please do. (it'll take forever but ill respond)

please check out other works m.list

and enjoy, have a good day, night~

#fanfic #kpop #nct fic #nct imagines #johnny smut #johnny suh smut #johnny nct #johnny suh #kpop smut #smut masterlist #nct smut #nct 127 #nct #johnny nct smut #wayv smut #nct ten smut #taeyong #jaehyun smut #mark lee #mark lee smut #nct nakamoto yuta #yuta nakamoto #nct yuta smut #nct dream #renjun #chenle #haechan #haechan smut #jeno #ides of march

[jina-juhi]

Birthday.

~Kim Namjoon x female reader.

Playlist for this vibe~

• Birthday by Ten.

• make me feel by Elvis drew.

• bad drugs by King Kavalier.

• codeine by solv

• dangerous hands by Austin Giorgio.

• your body by Jimmy brown, Rovv.

Authors note :- Hey guys this is jina, introducing @covertlydark, she's my friend and from now on we both will post our content on this page. hope y'all enjoy

• Reader's pov •

"Okay, This one?" my husband asks the same thing maybe for the sixth time for the night, his voice flat and heavy.

"Noo, we'll watch this some other day. I'm not feeling it right now." My voice lowered on its own at the end of my response when I heard his exhausted sigh. But he still manages to be patient with me.

"This one? This better be the one."

"Nope. Already watched this one."

"Without me?" He raises his eyebrows at me.

"Namjoon, we watched it together." I deadpan.

He scratches his head. "Oh yeah, right. I have an idea, you stay here to get ready, and decide which one you wanna watch while I prepare the table for us, the food is here and the cake is already waiting in the fridge."

"Okay." I smile at him and at the way his brain makes quick decisions and plans, a major contrast to my indecisiveness. He mirrors a smile and his lips brush against my cheeks and give me a quick kiss.

I bury my face in between his neck and shoulder, inhaling his fresh scent of soap and shade of spice and musk. My favorite combination. His mouth touches my bare shoulder and I can feel the curve in his lips against it.

"Go wash up, birthday girl." his husky voice and hot breath fell on my skin leaving a thrill in my spine.

"Be quick or I'll eat the cake myself!" he got up and sang on his way out of the bedroom. I shake my head at his goofiness and stretch my arms on the empty bed, squealing in content.

I hop into the shower and try my best with a little time in my hands. The insta-routine with all that exfoliating and shaving always takes a toll on a girl.

I hear the ringing on my phone after I'm dressed, Seojun's name on my screen, a friend who is also my senior colleague. A frown grew between my eyebrows because one thing that Seojun surely does not do is call after working hours.

I answer while I mindlessly flatten my black flowy dress and fiddle with my necklace, Namjoon gave me last night. It is the prettiest piece of jewelry I ever owned. He slipped it around my neck while I slept in his arms last night and I woke up with a shiny turquoise stone sitting on my chest.

"Happy birthday!" a scream drills my ears from the other side of the line and then an apology, not for me but for a really angry lady. I laugh at her carelessness. "Thank you for the wish, not for the hearing aid bill."

"Oh come on. Why didn't you tell me it's your birthday? I thought you were on leave because you were going somewhere. Jin told me with a cocky-ass grin on his face. I wanted to know it from you not him..." I tune out her blabbering.

I exhale a breath annoyed at the fact that I specifically warned him not to tell anyone. But it's too late now I think he went around the office with a banner of that information because I could hear my notification box exploding.

I don't like it when too many people know about my birthday. It gets overwhelming with all the wishes and responding to everyone with an equal amount of emotion so that the person wishing me does not think I am not grateful or something. I am. I really am, the thing is I don't know how to react to them.

My excitement for my birthday is as same as my excitement for hugging a porcupine. It is just a normal day for me, not for my husband. He is filling the gaps in my lacking enthusiasm because he has got tons of it.

"...and then you know what he told me? He told me that I am not that important to you!? the man really got some nerves to say that on my face. I swear-"

"Okay okay! Calm down. You can discuss him some other time." I huff.

She scoffs and then grumbles, "no one wants to discuss him. Well anyways, I'll be out of your hair. You must be getting ready to go out, right?" exciting curiosity enters her voice. "I mean of course you are. You are THE party girl after all. Wear something sexy, that husband of yours will fall for you all over again..."

Wow, sometimes I forget about how much she talks.

"Seojun, we're not going out. We are just celebrating at home. I wanted to keep it small and simple." I cut in between her chattering.

"Oh." she was speechless after the 'oh'. I know she tried her best to make it sound less pitiful but well she failed. Yes, I've always been the party girl but I guess people change.

I didn't want to go through all that hassle of going out and posting pictures just because I am supposed to do so. I'll do all that when it feels right and when I'm in the mood to go to some fancy restaurant.

"Okay. Well, enjoy your evening. Happy Birthday again." The call ends after I thank her and assure her to call later.

Maybe I'm feeling this because I'm not in my twenties anymore. Am I getting boring? The past-me would be so disappointed, in her eyes, the present-me is lame and boring. If anyone hears this in the office maybe they'll think the same.

You are not fun anymore.

My subconscious screams. I should not have forced Namjoon to stay in today I should have listened to him. What if he thinks-

"Y/N!" I hear his voice anchoring me to earth. "I called your name three times. You okay?" he looks at me with concern but I mask my face with a smile.

"Yes. Just thinking...which one of these should I wear?" I hold up two pairs of earrings while he closed the distance between us in just two long strides.

He changed into a black shirt- with sleeves folded, shriveled up to his elbows- and black pants, looking handsome as ever even in something so simple like this. His hair was perfectly set, not blocking the view of his gorgeous face. He always leaves me mesmerized.

He wraps strong arms around my waist and tugs me closer to him, and uncountable butterflies escape dancing in my stomach. Even after five years of our marriage, he pulls out that effect on me that I know would be the same forever. Every touch, every kiss is like a first. Better than the first.

"The gold ones." his full lips touch my forehead reaping my tiny smile. "Now tell me what is really going on inside this head." he kisses the same spot again.

I sigh against his chest. "How do you always know?" I squint my eyes at him earning his soft laugh.

"Always." he simply shrugs.

He waits patiently for me while I contemplate what to say. "Am I getting boring or... lame?" the question sitting on the tip of my tongue finally made it to my lips.

He frowns and searches for my eyes but I settle them on his chest, and so do my palms. "What makes you think that?" his deep voice pins me with a question. I shrug to lighten the mood, "Nothing it's just the birthday blues hitting me. You know how I was, I used to be the girl who looked forward to going all out and having fun on birthdays. And now... I just don't feel that way."

I finally look him in the eyes and he looks at me with his soft ones with an understanding look. "Now I absolutely feel like I'm getting old." I chuckle lightly.

"Hey... you are not lame or boring. We still go out and have fun when we feel like it. Sometimes I feel the same way, to stay at home and have a good quality evening, just the two of us. That does not mean we are boring people. It simply means we can enjoy ourselves no matter what age we are or the setting is. We are just normal people in our thirties, having fun together in our own way." he finishes with a firm steady voice making me believe every word he said and cherish it, tattooed on my heart.

"Normal people," I whisper out repeating it in my head with a smile. My chest balloons with emotions. He makes me look at things from different perspectives. Good perspectives. He is the anchor of my ship in the vast sea and I will forever be grateful to him.

Now both of us smile. A real one with no masks. He hugs me tightly, healing every tiniest crack in my soul.

"Also," he moves his nose and traces along my neck to my ear. His hot breath rushes on my skin making me twitch with giddiness. "...I don't think boring people do things we do in bed or... kitchen or bathroom. Especially not the ones we did last night and this morning."

My breath gets caught. Eyes wide and lips parted at his low tone. My head replaying what he just reminded me. White silk sheets, whispered promises, his heavy breaths and grunts, his hands tracing the goosebumps of my skin, his tongue on my—

Heat rushes to the south of my body and my face. He breaks the hug to have a good look at my face and fucking laughs at my state.

I suppress my smile and slap on his buff chest. "Now if you are done thinking about obscene things then let's go I have something to show you." he covers my eyes and starts guiding me through the hallway.

"Nomjoon I don't think covering my eyes is necessary."

"Shh. Ofcourse it is. Just walk." We enter and stop in I suppose the living room.

"Okay now, ready?" He finally says.

"Yes!"

He removes his hand and back hugs me while I open my eyes taking in the view of the living room. I gasp at the beautiful set-up he arranged, a canopy decorated with tiny fairy lights and cushions scattered under it and my favorite duvet.

He set the dinner table with plates and my favorite food, a bottle of red wine and glasses sitting next to them. Bunch of scented candles here and there, radiating warmth and light in the darkest of corners just like he fills my life, my soul, with his presence.

"Happy birthday, baby."

The pressure builds behind my eyes and in my throat constricting my words. I blink a few times to drive out the moisture in my eyes.

He settles his chin on my shoulder maybe waiting for me to say something but I'm speechless at his gesture.

"You like it?"

Like? "I love it, Namjoon. All this... It's so beautiful." my voice shakes with emotions.

"Thank you. So much. This is perfect." he turns me towards him, "glad you love it."

I lace my hands on his neck, raise on my tip-toes to make up for our height difference, and lock my lips with his soft ones. He sucks in a breath and yanks me flushed against him to deepen the kiss. His sweet taste invade my tongue.

Namjoon groans, and his hand fist the locks of my hair. His lips glide on mine and our chests glued to each other running out of oxygen. He brushes his lips against mine one last time. Breaking the kiss before it gets heated and we end up in the bed like always.

"I love you," I say in a daze.

"I love you." He says back his eyes gleaming in the candlelight and his face glowing with a golden tint. He is fucking perfect. He completes me. Every crevice in my life. We complete each other.

We sat at the table for our evening candlelight dinner. He opened the wine bottle with the cork opener and poured the content, an action that had no right to be that sexy.

"Enjoying the show?" he raises an eyebrow at me.

I hide my smile behind the glass. "Hmm, maybe." I sip the rich red liquid while soaking in the hard work he put into all this. "How did you do all this on your own? How long was I in there, four hours?"

He rasps out a laugh. "One hour. You were in there for one hour, thank god i completed it way before you walking in on me trying really hard to figure out how the hell am i supposed to hang that thing." He gestures towards the dreamy canopy. I would have loved watching him do that.

"Do you know what the most shocking part is? I didn't break anything today." He jokes. "Wow, that's a new record. I'm impressed, Mr. Kim." Our chatter and laughter mingles with the cozy air around us. We finish off what I call, the best meal I had in a long time. He sang me the birthday song while I cut the cake, his goofy playful side returning to him.

These are the little moments I treasure the most in our relationship. No grand gestures, no phones, no office talk, just us. I'll never be tired of this. Of him.

We settle ourselves under the canopy net after dinner. He brought his laptop to watch some k-drama or a movie. "Decided what you want to watch?" he asks me. "Yeah. Since today is Monday I think the new episode of the one we were watching is out by now. I'm so excited to watch that only three episodes are left."

We cuddle under the duvet. I feel safest and comfortable when he cuddles up and grips his arms around my tummy.

His chest moves subtly against my back. I feel every rumble in his torso when he laughs at something comedic. I barely pay attention to the drama. I miss reading the subtitles when the main character said something important about the story. I rewind the scene, "sorry I missed what he said."

He hums and kisses on top of my head. The scene replays but I get distracted yet again when my husband ran his hand on my stomach to my hip, giving it a squeeze before resting it there.

Well, this was not the first time. It is almost normal now. Almost, because every time he gets my mind fogged up.

I replay the scene again this time without saying anything and he too stays quiet. His hand grazes the texture of my dress, resting right on the curve of my thigh.

My mind is blank. Laser focused on his touch. And for the third time, I watch the same thing.

Great. Fucking great. I can't even read the damn subtitles.

"Can't read the subtitles, honey?" he reads my thought in a subtle mocking tone above my ear and my chest tightens.

"He is... talking too fast it's impossible to read that much within seconds." I justify after clicking pause on the screen. He hums in response in a way of saying, 'yeah right'. Not buying any shit. "What? unlike you, I have to pay attention to both the subtitles and the scenes."

Of course, living with him I have improved my Korean but I am not perfect at it.

He chuckles in his deep voice which always sinks into my heart, as deep as it is. "He barely said ten words." And just like that, I'm caught. Thick silence surrounds us, turning up the anticipation.

His lips skim over my neck. I am quiet but the sounds of our breathing fill the air.

He kisses the soft spot on my neck while his hand moves further to the hem of my dress. It takes him no time to find out that I'm already wet for him because I skipped wearing my underwear.

I exhale sharply when his cold fingers swipe between my folds. He groans in my neck, "Fuck. No underwear?" His voice is strained and breathy sending a shiver down my body. "There is no point in wearing one." I manage between my pants and focus back on his fingers working in the slowest circles.

"You're gonna kill me if you keep saying things like that so innocently."

I turn towards him to meet his mouth with mine. He props himself over me. His tall frame consumes my short one. His warmth radiates in the deepest of my soul, renewing it.

He takes away his fingers and I almost cry at the loss of contact. I whimper between our kisses. Namjoon kissed me the same as he fucks me, rough with a burning passion. Claiming me all over again.

"Take this off." He commands tugging on the cloth and making me sit. I collect my hair to side them and he took the hint to unzip me. He drags the zipper down taking his sweet time, his way of saying- you're not getting what you crave so easily.

In a quick slide, the dress comes off leaving me naked and at his mercy. The fact that I am completely bare before him and he is still in his clothes is so unfair and a fucking turn-on. I can feel myself dripping down. We haven't even started yet.

My eyes flicker down to his pants a huge bulge down his waist. I palm his erection and rub it until his breaths become short and fast. I fumble with the button and the zip to free him.

In a quick movement, he pins my hand above my head making me lay down on my back. The light from the fairy light makes his eyes glimmer. He stares down at me and I can feel the love he holds for me. A love without judgments and conditions.

"Today is all about you."

We exchange a smile. He peppers open mouth kisses on my chest. My heart thumps louder between my lungs. His tongue smooths over my skin offering my breasts his much-needed attention. His tongue flicks, licks, and laps on my hardened nipples making me moan, and giving me intense pleasure in every way possible. His hand made up for the other one twisting it between his fingers.

He reaches to my belly unhurriedly caressing the goosebumps. Sending a buzz of electricity in my body. Every touch, every caress is always filled with possession and lust.

He moves further down stopping just above the part of me begging for his touch. He lifts his head to look at me with a devilish glint.

"Click on the play button." He says.

"What?" I blurt out loudly, it sounds funny. I would have laughed at myself but I decide not to. His smile gets wider.

"Just do what I say, Y/N."

My heart will do anything he says if he takes my name in such a way. I click play and the scenes continue. I look back at him and raise my eyebrows at him to say something that's going on in his wicked mind. But instead of any explanation, he dips his head between my legs and I watch his tongue poke out to flick on my clit sending a jolt of electricity in me. He cursed under his breath when he watched how i reacted.

"You take your eyes off the screen, I take my tongue off of your sweet little pussy." He pins me with a playful look.

"But that isn't fair." My voice wavers.

"It... is" between his words, he licks a thick strip with his tongue from my wet entrance to the sensitive apex with a torturous slow speed and my mind staggers in response.

With hooded eyes I watch his beautiful lips curve up in a smirk as if he can see through my poor soul, what effect that action had in my mind, clear as a sky and the sun of reasoning clouded in an instant.

Well, he will always know what effect he has on me. Also, the sight of his face- with that wicked gleam in his eyes- between my legs, I can't expect anything else.

And I lay in a frenzy no longer able to decide what's fair and what isn't, all I wanted was his tongue on me for a lot longer than it just was.

He tips his head towards the laptop silently commanding me to focus my eyes on it, knowing me very well that I won't argue anymore.

I do what he said. Now, all I can feel is his tongue lapping on the sensitive skin making my whole body shudder and moan under his spell. He pushes one finger inside me. Perfect pressure against my walls. The sensation runs through me like an electric current. Heighten every nerve ending on its way.

The power of a slowly building orgasm force my head to watch what he's doing to me and when I turn, his sharp eyes are already watching me like a hawk.

He stops.

He fucking stopped. All that I was just feeling ruined like a sand castle in a wind. A useless heap of sand was all that was left.

"Need another chance, baby?" he speaks up cheekily. I am mad. Annoyed. It probably shows on my face because he rasps out a laugh looking at me. I will keep this in mind when he is at my mercy.

"Yes."

Yes is all I can say. He resumes working on my pussy after I avert my eyes to the screen barely paying attention to the story. The tip of his tongue flicks on my swollen nub and my hands clutch on the cushion for my dear life. Head trying to stay put.

Soon he adds a second finger and then a third while sucking on my clit. Speeding up and edging me towards oblivion. My breathing is harsh, familiar feeling lingering at the base of my spine.

Long gone the soft moans, and screams of pleasure left my throat. My eyes flutter close on their own.

"Eyes on me now." His voice laced with pure lust and... Oh God, the contact of his heated gaze tips me off the edge. And I come. Hard. While chanting his name and whispering how good he makes me feel. Free falling into bliss.

"That's it. Good girl." He wisphers lowly with a strained voice. My body mourns the loss of his fingers. He looks at me and licks his fingers clean, tasting me. God, this man will be the death of me.

I pant, my chest falls and rises dramatically to catch my breath. It feels like I was drowning and I just made it to the surface.

He closes the laptop with a flip. I'm still in a trance when I hear the clank of his belt. I watch him settling between my legs, opening his button and zipper to free himself from the constraint. Pushing his pants slightly down. My fingers clutched his soft hair. My heart skips a couple of beats waiting and eager for him, banging on my ribs trying to leap out.

He placed the tip of his hard cock ready to be inside me but still not giving in, making me whimper. He kisses me, burning with desire, silent permission for carrying on what we started. He pauses to look me in the eye.

"How do you want me, hm? Gentle... or do you want me to fuck you hard?"

My breath got stuck somewhere in my lungs. Without breaking the trance of his gaze, I snake my hand down to hold his cock, pushing just the tip inside me. "Fuck me. Harder." I say, earning his amused-proud smile.

He sits upright and lifts my right leg to anchor it on his broad shoulder. He pushes inside me completely, inch by inch with a steady pace. It warms my heart that even if i gave him permission to be rough with me he knows It always takes me time to adjust to his sheer size. Both of us moan because of how fucking good it makes us feel. Bodies shuttering as he finally moves once i am ready.

This time he thrusts so hard it knocks the air out of my lungs. His hand trails up my stomach to my breasts, pinching my hard sensitive nipple making me cry out his name.

"Tell me, still think the things we do are boring?" He wraps his hand around my neck with a firm delicious pressure while the other one plays with my breast.

I shake my head unable to voice out coherent words. All I can do is float in the magic he creates. I reach out for him but he is a bit far. He slows down and frees my legs and guides my arms around his neck to be closer to me. He kisses me as if it has been days without it, picking up the pace where he left off.

He is still clothed. The picture of his clothed body over my naked one doing the most intimate things is erotic to me.

Though I want to touch him. Feel him. Closer than we already are. My hands fly toward the buttons of his shirt. Undoing each one of them until my hands find their home.

His muscles ripple and his body shudders when I drag my touch slowly to the south. Feeling every curve of his criminally toned body, finally reaching his ass to feel the intensity of his thrusts. He groans out a curse.

"See what you fucking do to me? You make me so impatient, can't even wait to undress before I fuck my wife's tight pussy."

He slams inside me with immense force. I sob hearing him say these things with such ease. No holding back. His dark side resurface with teasing words laced with sin itself, pouring out of his smart intellectual mouth. It always leaves me in awe.

"Namjoon..." I can't recognize my voice as I moan his name breathlessly.

"I'm so– so close, please." Tears leave my eyes as the plea leaves my lips. His thrusts become more rough and harder. His fingers reach my clit. Firm strokes and overstimulation finally cracks through me. i surrender to the climax for the second time this evening. I lost my count for the day as our morning started early today.

"I've got you. I've always got you, baby."

My walls squeeze him tight. He grunts with every jerk. With a louder moan he finishes and empties himself inside me. I love watching him loose control, how his beautiful face twists while he gives in to the pleasure. The way his heavy breaths fall on my skin. It makes my heart swell to watch him like that. A sheen of sweat makes him sparkle. Both our bodies limp as the energy drains out along with our shattering orgasms.

He pulls out and lays beside me. He grabs a tissue and gently cleans up the hot mess we made. He always insists on doing that even after my half hearted protests.

Securing his strong arms around me he brings me closer to his heaving chest. "Tired?" He asks in a whisper while kissing lightly on my shoulder.

I weekly nod to answer. "Really? I was thinking of another round," he says and we laugh wrapped into each other, both knowing that none of us barely have the energy left to move.

"Enough orgasms for today, Mr. Kim." I mumble. I turn towards him to hug him properly. The back rubs, his breathing and the beats of his heart makes my body relax without any effort.

"So how was your birthday?" his chest vibrates with his question.

I place a kiss on his heart and with a satisfied smile I answer, "The best I ever had."

• Author's note

~ Written by @covertlydark

Hope you like it. Do tell me in the comments if this gave you butterflies lol... or you know somthin' close to it. <3

#kpop #fanfic #bts imagines #bts army #bts rm #bts smut #bangtan #kim namjoon #bts fic

[jina-juhi]

pls~

can someone recommend me fanfics on here that don’t make me bawl in sadness, but more of like a tiny punch in my heart type thing? like not a tragedy where the mc dies of cancer but more of when the mc gets excluded from something and feels alone type thing ☹️

im in my angsty feels rn

[jina-juhi]

the possibility of us.

pairing - yuta × female reader

word count - 7.7k

warnings - Panic attack (i tried to keep it short) penetration, protected sex, grinding, corruption kink, yuta is not angry and dom, controlling, over stim if i can say so? oral ( both receiving ) and literally everything that comes w this. choking!!!! yea. heh.

summary - You promised yourself you wouldn't fall for him, and you thought he could never fall for a girl like you. There was no way you both could be together, and even if there was one, your past wouldn't let you.

playlist

"eyes off you" - prettymuch

"phases" - prettymuch

"under the influence" - chris brown

"slow down" - chase atlantic

"show me" - black atlass

"safety net" - ariana grande

"used to this" - camila cabello

"chills, dark version" - mickey vallen

"3:00 am" - finding hope

"no guidance" - chris brown ft drake

Authors note:- so this whole thing is someone's request and i have not done justice to it. But here i am still hoping that they like it. I wrote like a whole seed to tree thing but it all got deleted and then I just left it to where my mind led me. I swear im working hard on my English vocab and duh sentence forming skills, but i hope you get the feelings mentioned below~~~

also if u wanna like request something~

m.list

so fucking loud.

The party was getting louder and overwhelming. You were quite alright just a few seconds back but it only takes a thought, to remember everything you want so badly to escape.

You danced like crazy, and drank. A lot. To forget. And now your head is hurting like hell and you don't know what to do or where to go, everything is spinning around and its all a blur. One thing that you could think of right now is your phone.

Searching your pocket and the couch you have been sitting on for so long, you can't find it. Its not lost its with Haewon, your friend. Sadly though your friend had to leave early due to some urgency, you thought it would be okay, you would manage but truly speaking, you're just a child. You try to be brave but being left alone is one of your biggest fears.

The fear kept building up since you were a kid and now it has settled in and made itself permanent in you. First it was your dad leaving you and your mom for a second family, then your mom in chase of her new life and then your so called first love who thought you were too fucked up to be loved. Leaving you like you were a crumbled up piece of paper ready to be dumped. Since then, you have not loved.

Not because you forgot, but because you're sacred.

You're scared everyone would leave you just like them and in the end, they'll move on, they'll live better but you're gonna be wounded. Trust me, you're already wounded enough to go out there and put a knife in your chest with your own hands. You know better or so you may think. That being alone, and not letting anyone in is the key to overcome this but truly, it is just making it worse. You can't help it.

You stumble on your way out of the once filled room with sweaty bodies, heels in one hands and a bottle of water in another. Your legs hurt more with every step you take, mentally cursing yourself for going absolutely reckless. You stand leaning against the main gate, supporting yourself so you don't fall in the wait of a cab.

You watch as tired bodies pass you by one by one. Everybody having someone to lean on to, you have a door. Not complaining but it feels sad sometimes not to have that one person who's always gonna stick by your side and other deep shit. It gets lonely. Fiddling with the hem of your dress, you give up on waiting, shifting your wait from the gate to your feet, you start to walk in the direction of your home, finding it hard because of all the alcohol.

Not even two steps forward, you hear a faint voice calling your name, a voice you would recognise even after your death, a voice that could send you into overdrive in a mere millisecond. You find yourself panicking, why is he calling your name, he shouldn't be calling your name. He's supposed to be the mean guy like everybody says but he's good to you, he's supposed to be cold hearted but he's kind to you, he's supposed to ignore you like he does everybody else, but he treats you different.

Nakamoto Yuta is not supposed to know you.

But he does, and that's what got you falling for him. Hard. It began with a single look in the hallway, you were a fresher and he was in the senior year. You weren't allowed in the library back then which you didn't knew, so you went in to issue some books. A bunch of seniors saw you, scolded you for not abiding by the rules, they could have gone too far but Yuta kinda saved your ass in there. He'd been kind, which was very unlikely of him because they all called him cold-hearted, but you saw no such characters in him, he'd always been nice to you. No matter how much you refused you did had a minute crush on him since that day, which eventually turned in something you'd rather not give a name to.

You turn around to see a very familiar face, you could draw an exact replica of him with your eyes closed. You fumble, he hands are firmly griping you by your arms, holding you upright, "you okay?"

On usual days, if Yuta is taking the first floor hallway to get to his class, you'd take the third floor even if it means you'll be late by five. But on some very rare unusual day, when your hormones decide to throw random tantrums and make you realise how much dry of a pussy cat you have, you'd take the same hallway 0as he does in order to feed your brain with his mere looks alone, which would be enough for the next 5 to 6 days so you could go back on avoiding him, for the sake of your sanity.

Today, most probably was a usual day. Throughout the party, you made sure to not cross paths with him but always keeping in check as to where he was. He looked drop dead gorgeous today in that white tshirt of his, loose hair falling over his face blocking your sight of view but adding up to his perfection. Maybe, just maybe you might have been too obvious with that watching from afar game of yours you think he didn't notice but he does. He knows, he always has known. Boys like him, they always know.

"I just wanna go home." Your voice comes out tired and slurred, the alcohol in your system is probably damaging your sense of judgement, you're saying things you're not supposed to be saying.

"It isn't safe for you to go alone." His voice could make you fall to knees, yea that is the amount of power he holds on you. If he says your name one more time with that pretty mouth of his, you'd be curling into a ball and stay like that for the rest of your life because it would save you from the embarrassment of facing him with your red flushed face and needy eyes. Yes, you're a sucker for him and you don't like it. It's not about him it's about you. How could you risk everything again for just a crush. He's not just a crush. And what about the too fucked to be loved part? What if thats true? You can't risk losing Yuta.

"I'll tak- a cab or somethin you don't have to." Sitting in the same car, having him around you when you're drunk and could literally say anything is not a safe option, safer than going alone though but, it's just too much of a risk. He doesn't give you much choice when he says he's gonna drive you home and you're gonna be quite and let him. All those moments in which it was only him and you alone, all the amount of tension in the air there was is playing on repeat in your mind right now. What could possibly go wrong right? Nothing really went wrong before, but you also weren't drunk.

He takes you to his car, walking beside you still holding you tight. You didn't say but your stomach keeps hurting from time to time, probably from all the drinking you think. Opening the door for you he seats you in, placing his hand on your head carefully so you don't bump your head in the process.

You wait for him to come inside the car, hearts already beating fast. Don't know why but the alcohol has somehow made you more hornier and confident than before, especially him touching you played a major part it in. I mean your allowed to have a crush right, and even though you don't really want someone in your life right now you too want some, need some. How many days can you go without being touched? is two year a normal number?

"Put your seatbelts on." You were too disoriented to understand and implement, he repeats. "Oh!" You try to pull the seatbelt down, its stuck. Or maybe you're just weak. He notices you struggling. What happens next is not the first time, he does things like these often that do some unexplainable things to you. He would randomly place his hands on your shoulder in the middle of nowhere making you jump out of your skin, or rub his thumb against the back of your hand when you're having coffee with him. Play with the long strands of your hair, tangling then detangling them. Eyes contacts were definitely his thing, he's eyes would never leave yours during a conversation no matter how small or big, it made you hard to look at him and hold his gaze. These were some of those moments you couldn't get over even after trying hard.

This guy would be the cause of your death. All happens in one sudden move, he loosens his seatbelt, leaning over you extending his hand to reach the seatbelt that seemed to be really stuck, which he could have managed to pull from afar but no, he had to come close. Goosebumps from his wild eyes form on your skin when they watch you, like undressing you. Up and down and around. Biting and wetting his lips unnecessarily just to turn you on. You, on the other went stiff, for you it was like some one had pushed the pause button because every second felt so heavy, the weight of his gaze was so hard you felt your lungs crushing under the pressure. You could literally listen to your heart thumping in your ears like some one was playing a boombox on maximum volume. Afraid to take your eyes off of him, you just stare blankly at him, though that blank expression was more of a wanting one.

He knows what he's doing, the little curl on his lips showed that, and he knows the effect it has on you so he always over exaggerates everything that he does. You never stopping him is his motivation.

"Dumb girl" he mouths and secures your seatbelt. You gulp hard and release the breath you were holding in. Before you could register what had just happened, his hand was reaching for your forehead with a tissue. "You sure you good? you sweating like crazy!" poking his tongue he hands you the napkin, you pretend wipe your face, actually cursing him making you sweat like this. The ac is not broken, its his fault.

Its so fucking complicated it's like you've got this big crush which isn't even a crush anymore, and it is him who turned it into real damn feelings that you don't want. You know you're better off without him, without the feelings part. You're not ready for him. You'll never be. You know it still you always fall for him, even when you don't want to, even when you know someone's gonna get hurt in the end. It must be something that he said that got you off track. That got you thinking shit and feeling shit, you just can't ignore that anymore. A year is a long time to pretend that you absolutely do not adore Yuta. Its getting harder to pretend.

You crave him.

You need him.

You want him.

but no.

You're saying it as if he wants you too. The possibility of him falling for you is as rare as finding a galaxy in the night sky with naked eyes. Impossible. He's got high standards or maybe you're just not his type. He may play round and about but it's just a play. Not reality. And you've come to peace with that. You're not gonna try, you're not putting your heart at stake but if you do, just in case, there's no way you're gonna have your heart broken because after doing all the math and physics, the probable occurrence of this event called 'us' is zero, even after considering all the factors affecting.

There is a chance, but you wouldn't take it.

But even the greatest of the greatest laws have exceptions, don't they? Not everything can be calculated or predecided. Now who knew a day like today would come in which the drunk you would be driven home by a totally sober Yuta, and the very science that you thought was denying the possibility of you both being together is giving you an unforeseen factor that could change the whole equation, alchol. And alcohol, as we all know is a bitch.

Miserable looking you was sat on the passenger seat, hair tousled, body covered with sweat that glistened whenever light fell on it, lips dry and eyes tired. Though the heat you feel is undeniable, you try to not give in and have some sense of control over your mind that's floating in the pool of hormones mixed with alcohol right now. Pushing your hair back, you look out of the window, chasing the street lamps, counting them to keep you distracted. Clearing your mind, trying not to think anything. Not to feel anything, but the ache in the pit of your abdomen is growing with passing time. You see yuta roll down the window, his hair swiftly swaying with the breeze, what a sight to be witnessed, enough to distract you from your chosen distraction. Allowing yourself to calm down letting go of all the blood rush from before, you take a deep breath, sleep kind of taking over your body but the pain isn't allowing you to. Feeling even more uneasy, you shift a little in your seat pushing the feeling away. You try and concentrate on the moving landscapes, breathing deeply.

Yuta has been noticing you. Hes certain of what's bout to happen. He doesn't panic, he must have had the experience. He lets you take your time. Breathing helps for some time more, but doesn't prevent it. You have to throw up, "Can y- stop the car?"

In a minute, Yuta pulls over and you're out on the street seated by the footpath trying to empty your stomach. Yuta was seated by your side patiently with a water bottle in his hand, rubbing your back in sweet circular motion, and holding your hair back. "It doesn't wanna come out!"

You complain in a broken tone. "Who told you to drink that much when you can't handle it?" he says side eyeing you.

"It's hurting"

"Drink some water" And before you could, you were already throwing up. He calm you down, never once leaving your side, holding your hair back, he knows you're weak especially right now.

Cleaning up you pout, "I was feeling good"

"Now you're not, dumbass."

"Why do you always call me dumbass." you fake cry, more like dunk cry.

"Because you're too cute." He half chuckles.

"I don't wanna be cute." You snap at him. "I wanna be hot!" This makes him laugh. "And i wanna be cool and i wanna be free and i wanna be different and confident and happy and not dumb. I'm not dumb, though i like it when you call me dumb, but im not im not dumb!!"

He looks at you, amused, brows up like a puppy, smiling like a child at this new face of yours that, that he doesn't quite know how to describe it, but is adorable. "You don't talk this much when you're sober, you should drink often."

"And throw up like this every time."

"Yea maybe, it would be an our thing"

"An our thing?! Oh and i don't talk? you don't talk!"

"I don't because you don't, and i respect that."

"I- I don't? i do, i want to."

"What stops you then?" You think.

"Yuta." and you chuckle. "He makes me nervous."

His eyebrows furrowed for a second after suddenly listening to his name from your mouth. Conten and eager to know more, "Why?"

You sigh loudly, hiding your face in your hands, "It's hard to explain you know? It so fucking hard-!" by getting to the end of the sentence you actually break down into tears. Yuta sees this, suddenly extra concerned about your situation, he takes your face in his hands, cupping it, making you look at him. He has a soft expression on his face, a kind one. "hey there, don't cry, it's okay." he coos, wiping a tear away.

You sob a few times in his arms, trying to catch a breath. You don't know why and what you're saying, but it just flows out of your mouth, "I like him, i think i do, like so fuxking much. And it's sad because I don't think he likes me back, like why would he and even if he does, it's not gonna change the fact that im too fucked up to be loved."

He frowns, disappointed in you. Looking deep in your eyes, you try to hide away from him,"You're not girl. Look at me! you are capable of being loved"

"I don't think so. Even if i am, why will he ever like a girl like me!" You say blandly.

"What if he does?"

"You think he likes me?"

"All you need to do is ask."

"Why can't he!?" His hand leaves your face, wiping your fallen tears. Making you drink a little water with his hands, he slowly says, "what if he's afraid he would scare you away?"

You're tired eyes look into his bright one, searching for meanings you couldn't find. He helps you up, now that you've been feeling better than before. "Not if he holds me tight enough." Yuta doesn't reply to this rather his eyes glint, as if he was satisfied with your answer. As if he knew what to do now. He makes you seat in his care again, securing you with the seatbelt, too tired to even move your finger you let him guide you home.

Soon enough you were standing in front of your apartment, staring at the locked door and then staring at each other, "I'm sorry." you apologise because apparently, you lost the keys and no they're not with Haewon. "It's okay lets just go to my apartment." You nod your head, tip toeing behind him like a child, on the stares he lets you walk by yourself but watches out for you. In the car he gives you a bottle of electrolytes to sip on. In the lift of his apartment he practically have to carry your weight because your legs gave up walking and your brain stoped working.

_______

Wet kisses were planted down your spine, leaving a tinglish feeling behind. With every kiss your breath hitched a little more, eyes squeezed even harder. He plants a kiss at the bottom of your bare back. You arch your back, rolling your head back in pleasure. He stands up behind you, your knuckles turn whiter. He grips your hair in his fist, pushing your head back further enough to plant a small kiss on your forehead, then releasing the grip. Holding back a moan, you let a short breath out. Seeing your efforts at holding your moans back, he lands his palm flat against your clothed ass making you fall ahead on the counter. Smacking it hard again, making you yelp in pleasure, the sound echoes in his small bathroom. "Let me hear that sweet voice of yours baby." His voice calling you baby makes you dizzy, a whine leaves your lips without your permission, but on his command. Anything he wants you would do. Rubbing and groping your ass cheek he pulls you a little up by your hair, making you stand straight. He bites and nips at your earlobe. With his one hand squeezing your ass and his lips occupied by your ear, his other hands creeps it's way in front of you, dipping lower and lower until it cups your pussy, applying only slight pressure on your throbbing, untouched clit with his middle finger, just enough to take you over the edge. His hand is so big. He taps it, feather touches only. Once, twice and he continues slowly with long intervals in between the taps, leaving maroon marks on your shoulder. He only plays with you to make you wetter so you could take his dick, he's not letting you cum just yet, you deserve more, you deserve his dick and you deserve a grand climax, because you're his. Without much efforts he pushes you flat against the counter top, carefully though, he doesn't wanna hurt you. Delivering you pleasure is his only motive, and he does just that when he pulls your underwear down enough to expose your ass to him. You wiggle it a little in anticipation, and he gives in to your plea, after all it would be his pleasure to serve you. He greets you with a spank. And then another spank followed by intervals of him easing the pain and rubbing your ass cheeks untill you voice came out louder than the sound of his hand meeting your flesh. And in a blink of an eye your panty was slid all the way down and his thick girthy cock was being shoved in your already dripping aching hole. He was showing no mercy, fucking in and out of you at a demonic pace, looking like an angel! His long hair covering his face, slick because of sweat. He yanked you up with your hair causing you to scream out, still slamming in and out of you, this angle enabling him to go deeper. Sinfull voices getting louder and louder with every thrust, you hear him say your name, "y/n!" He sounds concerned. Furrowing your brows, "Yuta, don't stop!!" you whine as he slows down his pace.

Another loud call of your name forces you awake from your dream, panting heavily you adjust your vision to the lighting in the room. The first thing you see is Yutas face, concerned. Seeing him in your bedroom starled you, you hastily move back in defence, "what are you doing here" You question him in hoarse voice, your throat dry.

"It's my bedroom and you called my name. " he hands you a glass full of water, sitting by the bedside. That's when you realise the change in the intensity of light and the unfamiliarity of the duvet. Embarrassed, that you just dreamt of the guy sitting in front of you, you thank him for the water. You try to play the events of last night that might have led to this, nothing comes to your head. Its all a blank. You mind curse yourself, head hurting a little probably because of hangover. The second thing you notice is that the cloths you wore weren't yours, it was one of his black tshirts, as he owns many, and before you could look at him with an unquestionable question, "You were sober enough to change, I didn't." He answers. You relax your shoulders, sighing.

Just the very presence of him makes your head go into a never ending spiral. It was embarrassing looking like shit in front of him. You called my name, what the fuck. "Your head must be hurting?"

"Not really, I just need to take a shower." You say shaking your head confirming that you are alright.

He gets up.

You don't know what you did last night with him, or said but it feels like you pretty much fucked up in every way possible. You don't even know if the whole session was just a dream or you both actually really did something. You watch him uncover the curtains and opening the window so some fresh air could come in. He opens his cupboard taking out some pills, keeps them on the side table for you. Too busy thinking, you didn't hear whatever he said and watch him exit the room keeping a black tee on the chair.

whatever the fuck happened last night.

Taking the pills you went for a quick shower, wearing again one of his tshirt. Going in the another room, he already prepared lunch for you. You take the spoon in your hand, and it's some kind of soup. You smell it, the aroma filling you up. "You're not eating?"

"I am." he says sitting down beside you. You never knew he could cook, such a dream boy. You dip the spoon and circle it around in the bowl feeling anxious. "You talked quite a lot last night, you kno-" he bantered eyeing up playing with the spoon. Without a second thought you interjected, "What exactly did i say?" not looking at him.

"We have a lot of time to discuss that in detail, right now focus on eating." he poked, smirking. "Just tell if i said something offensive or you know, stupid I won't stay for long." Finally taking a sip of the soup while it's still hot. "Look outside, its raining." he says moving his head towards the window wanting you to look out. It indeed is raining, which means you will have to stay. 

"So now that you're staying, why not have some fun? You play video games?" he asked cheerfully.

"No." you deadpanned.

"I knew, we'll watch a movie then." You look at him blond eyes, he's goofing around again.

He made popcorns, everything was set in front of his decent sized tv. It was like he was being extra cautious about everything, thinking twice before saying or doing anything. You on the other hand were embarrassed and awkward as hell. God only knows what beans you spilled last night, the possible things you could have that are coming to your brains are extreme. Plus he's not even telling.

He kept a decent distance between you two when he sat down on his small sofa, it was a small sofa so the decent amount means close enough to feel him right next to you. The movie was playing but neither of you were paying any attention to it. If it wasn't for the presence of the other, you could have both said the rain was distracting. Already tired and even more tired after forcing yourself to concentrate on the movie when exactly you dozed off to wonderland you didn't remember. One loud roar of thunder startled you back to life, "It's okey, just a thunder, go back to sleep." His words come in a low register, whispered close to your ear his hot breath almost tingling. You shift comfortably on what felt like a lap, shooting your eyes open you realised the position you were in and quickly sat up murmuring sorrys and fucks while trying to hide yourself, "When did i sleep!?" you mumbled, rubbing your eye, in order to avoid his.

"Sleep again you look tired." he pointed out looking at you. As if it wasn't awkward enough already for you to sleep in his goddamn lap. You shake your head, "No its good." You grin at him. His eyes never leave your frame. You shift to the left putting as much distance possible in between. He notices it. "Do I make you nervous?" 

 fuck yes.

It was like the oxygen was taken away from you. You tried breathing but it was useless. So this is one of the manys of what happened last night. "I said that?" He looks at you, nodding his head lights. "And they say one doesn't lie when there drunk." raising an eyebrow. Pressing your lips together you turn your head to the tv, "Let's not talk abo-" he didn't let you finish, "Answer me." He turns off the tv causing you to frown, "Answer!" You roll your eyes looking away again, it's hard maintaining eye contact right now. "What do you wanna hear?" 

"Truth."

You look at him. For a minute nothing was spoken. You looked at him and he looked at you. And that was that. Many of the hardest one minutes of your life. You sigh out in defeat, giving up the eye game, he sits straight. "What else did i say last night?" 

"Just that." 

You laugh, "That can't possibly be true." 

"Then you already know what you might have said last night." Wetting your lips, looking out of the windows, rain pouring harder by every passing hour, things getting more and more awkward. You could either tell him everything, and expect him to not act on it and be awkward Or you can just ask him to pretend last night never happened and let everything be awkward for the rest of the lives, because theres no way things are going back to normal, as if they ever were. 

Clicking your tongue, "Will you drink hot chocolate?" The only way to avoid a conversation is a hot chocolate. It works most of the times. All you wanted to do was escape his vicinity.

You stand by the window in his small kitchen, rain drizzles over your face as it falls down, rainy seasons are gloomy, you think. Cold air rushes in leaving you cold and shivering, alone, in the middle of the darkness in this room with your thoughts which are way too louder than your capacity to hear. You don't know why but him knowing how you feel about him just complicates everything by a thousand fold. And what if he wants to be with you? What will you do then? Yes you like him but, you can't risk being in a relationship again. You've already lied to yourself everyday by believing that you'll not love him, but now you do. And the fact that last night will fuxk everything up between you two is saddening because you are going to say no and he will not be very appreciative.

If; he likes you back. 

You feel his presence behind you. Not too close but not too far. You call out his name, he confirms. After a moment you speak, "Yes you make me nervous." trying to speak loud and clear but you voice only manages to come out in whispers. You hear him cackle. "I know." His deep voice goes straight down to your core, leaving you weak in your knees, he's standing just behind you. You feel his breath on your ear making you hold your breath, not moving even one inch. How desperately you want his hands on you and how badly he wants to sqeeze you in his arms and tell you everything he's been keeping inside for so long. Only if you knew. Only if you saw his face right now, looked into his eyes. You would know he wants you too, he always has. Since the day he saw you on your first day he craved you. Every day being by your side wasn't enough but oh he was just so scared to lose you after being told everything you've been through by your batchmates. He figured your past won't allow you to. So he kept quite. Falling in love with you everytime you looked at him, everytime you smiled at himz shyed away from him. He fell in love with the way you lived and laughed and cried. Just like you fell for him. 

"Take a chance with me?" he spoke lowly, carefully. You turned around, facing him. Shaking your head no caused the tears to fall down that were building in your eyes. You kept shaking you head moving back untill your back touched wall. You sobbed, no you were practically crying like a child in front of him only it was on mute. He approaches you coming closer and closer it was like you lost your mind and your senses gave up on working. "I can't" you managed to speak aloud.

"Why?" he asks trying to stop your crying at the same time. Holding you by shoulders, gently stroking up and down, calming. "You don't know what happened." 

He lifts your tear stained face up by his fingers, making you look at him, "I'm willing to know." he pushes further, caging you between him and the wall. "And if I don't understand, make me!" it's hard to understand the expression on his face. He's sad but, he's also angry. And frustrated and hurt but at the same time, gentle and understanding and concerned. Hands moving to cup your face, "You want me to confess first right? I love you okay? I have ever since god know when. And i know you do too so why the fuck can't you just let go and let me!?" The last part he says through greeted teeth while punching the wall behind you, you jump out in fear, "Fuck Im sorry." he apologizes under his breath, realising he's being to harsh.

He moves in closer, connecting his forehead with yours, "I'm sorry." he breathes out heavily, he's crying. He's hurting. "I can't help but think of what we could be." You open your eyes to look at him, tilting your face up a little, closing in the gap even more. His eyes are tight shut. "I can't help but think about you." He opens his eyes to look into your dark ones, getting lost. You both breathe heavily, hearts beating at the same pace, passion shooting through your veins. He closes the inches left in between you too, both of you close your eyes, nose touching, breathing in the air only the other can provide. His lips linger close to yours, quivering, afraid to harm you. Afraid to scare you. Chest heaving up and down in synchrony, lips ready melt into each other, only a moment apart, only a touch apart, still apart.

He draws a sharp breath in moving away but only slightly. You look down, the tension in the air is so heavy it could crush your weight under it. Tears still falling down like a waterfall.

 "Please don't say no." he speaks in the quietness. You shook your head again, whispering "Don't cry." 

He wiped it as quickly as it fell. "I'm sorry" you say, trying to move past him, but he stops you holding your hand, making you turn around. Gripping you face with only one hand he crashes his lips on yours, you pause. You didn't try pulling away, not because his grip was too tight but you didn't wanted to. When you moved your lips, he moved his. He held you by your waist with his other arm. Making you dizzy, holding you close you could feel his beating heart against your chest. Head tilted to deepen the kiss, body crushing into each other like planets colliding, teeth clashing like two swords in a battlefield, hands roaming the bodies freely, holding on to each other like you were to lose them the very next second. He could taste your tears in his mouth. He could taste his life. It was beautiful, it was perfect. In that moment you felt you could let go of everything that was holding you back, you past didn't matter in that moment. You saw one chance, one possibility. 

Struggling to stand straight, he walks your over to the counter never leaving your lips. He slows it down, letting you breathe. Softly sucking your swollen lips. He takes your lower lip between his teeth, he bites it so hard you whince in pain, which only makes him lower his hands and squeeze your butt, pulling you lower body to meet his, grinding into each other, desperate for each other, not getting enough and wanting more and more. The visible bulge in his bottoms evidently hit the right spots, making you lose control, making you go wild and grind yourself into him too. The height difference makes it so much easier like his body was made keeping you in mind so you both could fit each other perfectly. His hands travel north, tangling your hair and pulling them down, which makes your head go back, exposing your neck to him. His lips leave yours, sucking in a new space found, leaving deep red marks, marking you as his.

It took one single thought to pull you out of it, again. You try to push him away, struggling at first, he backs off, and the moment he does you leave, "So you're going to ignore me now?" he says panting, making you stop and turn back. He looks at the red mark on your neck that he created. He chuckles, "Thats the plan? huh? Ain't gonna work." you're hurting him you know it. You turn around to leave, "You're gonna come back."

And you leave.

You just leave. 

And like that, 5 months pass. The day turns into night and night into day, you go to college and come back home then go to college again. You see him every day and he sees you everyday and like strangers you cross paths. He started a new job, you heard. You started having panic attacks, he heard.

Sit and stare out of the window, thinking of all that you could have done differently. You thought not being with him or anybody would make things alright. Being alone would make your head clear and a little less messed up and then maybe you can go out date freely without having to be afraid of what might go wrong. But it seems like it all backfired on you. Now you have one more thing to forget, one more thing to carry everyday.

You thought you would get better, but little did you know it was him who was making you better. You thought you would get over him but you really do love him. You can't get him out of your head and he's gone, you fucked it all up. You broke his heart which ended up breaking you too.

Sitting on the couch in the parties is the only thing you've been doing lately. How long can someone pretend that they're okay? A month? A year? You've been doing it since your childhood. You're tired of pretending and tired of hoping that it's all gonna get better. You can't even pretend anymore to be honest, it's evident you do that you miss him. You've been sitting here for 3 hours, just sitting not drinking. What if you get drunk? Who's gonna drive you home you have no one. He's here too. Not drinking. Not looking at you, not thinking about you, rather having fun actually. he moved on?

Why wouldn't he, why shouldn't he? It wasn't his fault. You're the only one to blame. He cried, he begged you to stay to not say no, but you didn't listen to him. Why should he wait on someone like you. You push all your hair to one side letting them cover your face in an attempt to hide from Yuta, you can't help but watch him closely, laughing and talking and everything, he's faking it. You know him this much to know which smiles he is faking. And suddenly he is looking at you. Earnestly. 4 minutes of intense gaze and then you give up. Breathing already uneven and your palm is sweating, you know what's gonna come. You throw your head back to rest on the sofa and stare blankly at the ceiling.

I shouldn't have said no.

I should have stayed.

Why did I do it.

I knew you i wrong.

I broke his heart.

It's all my fault.

Something is really wrong with me.

I made him cry.

He really loved me, how could you!

"Fuck."

The walls were closing in on you. It was going dark before your eyes, you couldn't shut your brain up. It was like you were trying to breathe but couldn't like someone evacuated your lungs out of oxygen or maybe there wasn't any oxygen left in the air to breathe. Head was hurting like someone was constructing a fucking road on it. You were panicking, heart beating at an abnormally high rate, sweat collecting at the low of your back. You lose complete sense of the surroundings. You try to get up but can't, so you just sit there on the sofa in the middle of a crowded room, trying to breath, with your head down to your knees. The music and the people get too loud, it felt like they were screaming your name you shut your eyes and cover your ears with your hands, just praying this would pass away soon.

A jacket was thrown over you, over your head. He was rubbing your back up and down, in an attempt to soothe you. He makes you shift from the position you were in to a position where your head was down on his knees, and his jacket still covering your face. His hand creeps under the jacket to caress your hair and he whispers sweet nothings in your ear, trying to make you focus on him, and on his voice.

You start crying in his lap, under his touch listening his voice after so many days, you missed him. His heart aches seeing you like this, watching you deteriorating day by day. He hated that he couldn't do anything, couldn't help you through it but he knew better. He knew nothing he could have said or done would have made you realise that running away was not an option, you have to face it, face your past and get over it, let go. And let love. Because what is love is not a risk? what is love if not taking a shot in the dark? what is love if not a mere chance? what is love if not a distinct possibility? Him trying would have just made you push him away even more! He wouldn't let that happen, so he waited on love. He waited on you. . He calls your name, twice "listen to my voice okay? It's okay, you're okay! Just try to breathe." You nod your head, the tears disappearing in the fabric of his jeans. "Let's go out okay?" He asks, after five minutes or so he walks you out of the room. Breathing the fresh night air somehow calms your nerves but you're still hyperventilating. He makes you side on the boundary wall that's pretty low. Your still a mess, eyes watering and breaths hitch you murmur small sorrys to him. The crying is just making it all worse, he noticed. Taking your face in his hands making you look straight into his eyes, "Breathe in." he asks you to and you do "hold." you hold your breath. "Release." you let go. At first it was hard but with his help you gained control again.

"I'm so sorry Yuta, i was i was trying to protec- protect you. I didn't wanted to hurt you i swear on my life." You sob. He nods, coming face to face "I know, you did your best."

"But I made you cry."

"because i couldn't see you hurting, also you left but i knew you were gonna come back."

"I tried that day, i wanted to stay i wanted to be with you but i couldn't i just couldn't bring myself up to believe that i was deserving to hold you. I-

I didn't deserve you, i still- "

"Don't complete that sentence or I'm gonna be real mad at you."

"no listen to me i don't have anything to give you I'm just I'm a messed up piece of shit i would've just wasted your time and energy."

"Well then you're my messed up piece of shit, whom i get to take care of because i want nothing but only you. And i totally wanna waste my time with you."

"I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be, Its all good now"

You took a deep breath. Nothing is gonna change the fact that you hurt him, but he was wise enough to know you weren't intentionally trying to. Love. "I don't know what else to say but i love you"

"And that's more than enough babe."

"Ba-be?"

"I've been dying to call you that you know?"

"Why are you so good to me?" He just shrugs and ruffles your hair. "Wanna complete watching that movie together?" You sigh in relief nodding your head a big yes.

You thought he was taking you to watch a movie, but it was a whole different scene the moment you entered his apartment. He changed the lights. They are a warm shade of yellow now. He did put the movie on, but you weren't paying any attention to it. Your head was hurting because of the sudden attack you had at the party, so he insisted on sleeping instead. 

You tried sleeping, but the smell of his perfume on the bed kept you awake. makes you reckless. made your thoughts run wild. You remember how it felt the last time you were here, in his apartment. The tension, the dream, the heat, the kiss. Not the fighting part of the whole situation, but the part where you were wholly in love with him. The part where you wanted to take a chance The part where you wanted to give him your all. 

Feeling too overdriven by your train of thoughts, you get out of bed. You follow the noise that was coming from the kitchen to find Yuta making something. "What are you doing at this hour of the night?" You speak softly, standing by the door frame. He looks at you unfazed. "I assumed you were sleeping," I said. "The bedsheets smell like you." You walk behind him slowly, his eyes following your every step. "Quite distracting." 

"If you weren't drunk enough the last time you were here." 

"Then I wouldn't have been here." 

"Fact," he says, nodding."Try it," he says, handing you the cup. He emptied whatever he was making, tea. "Since when did you start drinking tea?" you question, placing the cup down, trying to sit on the counter. He helps you jump. "Since hot chocolate started reminding me of you." 

"I'm sorry," you whisper quietly. 

"You don't have to do it, and you shouldn't waste your time!" He scolds you, taking the empty cup from your hands and placing it in the sink. "I'll say it as long as I need to." 

"Useless "

Then how can I make it up to you? You can only tell. " 

"Endless ways I can think of right now." There was a sudden change in the way he spoke. The hoarseness in his voice lingered in the air and warmth creeped into his eyes. The coldness in the air was replaced by this heavy heat of want that was engulfing you and him alive. "Like?" 

Keeping your voice at a hearable volume, you make space between your legs by separating them, which was taken by him the very next second, "like finishing what we started." " You know what's coming next." The movie? " You put on the most innocent face you ever had in your life, looking him directly in the eyes, playing with him like he plays with you. "Now now, what a disappointment you are," he says while tapping your cheek with his index finger. Biting your lower lip, you say, "Someone used to call me dumb..." 

"You're playing the wrong game, babe." He warns, tracing your jaw line and down your neck. He then lines your clavicle up and down, "You're gonna lose." He takes both his hands behind your back, pulling you closer with a jerk. His face was only inches away now, his lower body already in contact. You could feel him hardening against your pussy. He was this close. 

"What if I want to lose?" You answer, your voice barely above a whisper, the taste of the tea still in your mouth, sweet, but you want his taste now. He chuckles lowly, his lips brushing against yours as he speaks, his voice firm and demanding, unlike yours. "Well then, wait for me in the bedroom." 

It was new and exciting to get to see this side of him. Unlike his normal caring and soft self, this Yuta knew what he wanted. He is precious and just, and he needs no explanation for anything he does. "Oh and babe, undies off but keep my t-shirt on." You follow his command, going straight to the bedroom and removing your underwear and tossing it aside. 

You wait in anticipation, but don't quite know what to do. You were pacing around the room like a mouse chased by a cat. Butterflies in your stomach won't quiet down. The mere thought of what might happen causes goosebumps on your skin.Sitting at the edge of the bed, you check the time. It's 12:30 in the morning and that's when he enters. 

All of them changed. His demeanour was that of a wolf out on a hunt. And you were his prey. He shut the door behind him. His eyes were darker and his skin appeared a little bit colder than before. It's not like there's a third person but. You get up on your feet and just stand there in the middle of the room, a thousand thoughts in your mind playing every possible scenario that could happen. He drags a chair by its arm, situating it just in front of you, and sits down on it like a king. 

"Come ahead!" he orders. You start walking in an instant, almost tripping. His voice alone makes your insides curl and your pussy clench around nothing. Wetness is leaking down. 

"You really want to go down this road?" Changing his expression suddenly, his eyes glistened with a golden tint, probably because of the light coming in from the window. You try to play along, "Aren't we already down?" He smiles. "You can stop me anytime you don't feel comfortable, okay?" You nod, melting into his softness. How can this person do it? switching between personalities in mere seconds. 

"I doubt I'll stop you." You push a strand of your hair behind your ear, getting a little closer so your legs touch the chair. His legs were separated, and you were in the middle. The only source of light in the room was the street light, perfectly lighting up his face and your body. He lifts an eyebrow at what you just said, sitting upright in his chair. "Confident much? I like that. It won't be for too long though. " You shiver when his hands rub your outer thigh. He was waiting for a reply from you, but he was correct. The moment his hands touched your bare skin, all the confidence you were mustering up to talk back was thrown out of the window. His hands travel south and leave your skin hot, high, and dry. 

You gasp at the loss of contact. Being touched by someone, by him after so many years, you don't think you can last in this game for even a minute. 

"Let's begin, shall we?" 

You manage an "uhhm..." as you brace yourself for whatever he's about to do. He relaxes in his chair. With his eyebrows lifting up and down, he asks you to sit on the bed with a simple but powerful command. "Sit." 

You sit at the edge of the bed, your legs shut tight, your hands sweaty, and your mouth dry. 

"Let me see you." You didn't quite hear him, but you heard him. It was just so shockingly sudden. 

"Huh?" you stutter under his strong gaze. 

"Lost already." He deadpanned. He was mocking you, and he knows it's affected you. "Spread your legs, sweetheart." 

On his command, your agape mouth was shut, your legs already following his order, deciding to move on their own as your mind had given up on thinking ages ago. 

The show hasn't even started yet, and he's enjoying himself watching your timidity in every move you make. "No, actually, shift a little back. Make yourself comfortable." He gets up and shifts his chair forward as you move back on the bed. He got a glimpse of your core while you were shifting. You know he did because you saw the expression change on his face. Right there in that split second, you saw him almost lose and regain his composure.

Not letting him speak again, you spread your legs wide and open. The loose t-shirt that was covering you shifts up automatically, leaving you uncovered for him to devour you with his eyes alone. You looked at him and he looked at your core, shamelessly. This somehow gave you some kind of power over him. He is too weak for you. He curses under his breath, closing his eyes and breathing deeply but fast. 

The moment he opened his eyes and met yours, your soul definitely left your body. Your breath hitched, and you tried to look away from him, but his gaze was so hard it locked yours. You couldn't. "Touch yourself." You clench at his words, and he sees that. 

"Be more specific." That was bold of you to say that. He almost choked on your words. You may be the shy girl who is affected by small things, but you are also a freak. Although you do want to lose, you'd still give it your best shot. 

He poked his tongue under his cheek, nodding his head in approval of your regained confidence. "Touch your clit with only one finger and don't move it." 

Very precise. You do as he says. There is only one finger on your clit, and there is no movement at all. 

"Tap it." You do, lifting your finger up and keeping it gently on your throbbing clit. You clench again the moment your fingers touch, gasping out silently. "Keep on doing it until I say stop." He bites his lower lip as he watches you enjoy yourself at his command. The fact that you were doing it while he was watching you with his sinful gaze has already got you gripping the sheets and curling your toes. 

You do it slowly, sensually, watching him watch you. He's affected in ways he can't explain and in ways you can't fathom. Feeling good, you take your lower lip between your teeth and close your eyes. You get more comfortable as you fully submit to the task you were given. You let your head hang freely, trying to be more vocal, but letting out soft whimpers only. You didn't want to give him too much just yet. 

"Stop." 

You hiss at him. Drawing in a sharp breath, you bite your lip harshly in agression, not wanting to stop but stopping anyway. You look forward to him, his dilated pupils eyeing you like a scavenger, making you light-headed. "Enjoying yourself too much?" 

You nod slowly, your gaze never leaving his, and it drives him insane. 

Warmth creeps beneath your skin when he gets up from his chair and motions for you to come forward. You get on your knees, the t-shirt covers you again and you crawl to him to the edge of the bed to where he was standing. Sitting on your heels, you watch him loosen his belt. Then he undoes the waist button and unzips his pants. He slides them down, revealing white boxers and his untamed bulge, which he somehow managed to keep inside and hidden. 

You're dizzy by just imagining the size of him. You're unsure of what to do. Should you help him undress himself or should you just sit back and anticipate? Like a lost child, you wait for him to tell you. He asks a question instead. "I suppose you don't know how to give a blow job." Feeling belittled, you shook your head, looking up at him, "perfect." He compliments.

He slid the boxers down, his hard, thick and girthy dixk slapping against his abdomen, now free of any restrictions, standing tall and proud in front of you. You were too busy focusing on his perfection that you failed to keep up. He had already removed his shirt, and was now standing completely naked in front of you for the very first time. It's nerve awakening.

That is when you actually felt the gravity of the situation. It wasn't just some game you were playing; it was actually happening. You and he were actually happening. You fucking confessed to him yesterday! Yuta thought he was going to be angry and not talk to you at all because you broke his heart, but it's the complete opposite situation, he just couldn't be angry at you. Yuta knows better, good for you. He loves you. You love him and all your dreams about him were about to come true, he was going to make you his. 

"Fuck!" You didn't mean to say that out loud.

"Like what you see? I bet you dreamt about me. " It was like you were hypnotised by him or you lost control of yourself. It was like you were high on some drug. Or maybe you were high on him because you weren't thinking before nodding your head when he asked you that question. 

"What was I doing in them?" He takes his cock in his hands and starts palming it. You swear you saw it grow even bigger in size, as if it already wasn't. Too astonished to see the action just inches away from your eyes, you answer, "You were fucking me raw. From behind." You look up and gulp, "And you were spanking me, pulling my hair, kissing me, and marking me yours," you say in a small voice, so shameless, so pure.

"Get up on your knees." You do, inching yourself closer to him; he's still stroking his length in between. You look down, a new angle to admire him. You place your hand on his, your hand moving up and down his shaft with his. He slows down. "Want me to do all those things for you? Want me to touch you? " You looked up, mouth parted and eyes glistening to meet his dark ones. "Want me to pull your hair? want me to kiss you? fuxk you?" 

You nod frantically consumed by your arousal, his voice travelling straight to your untouched, unlooked, un-taken-careof core, your wetness literally sliding down your thigh. It's hurtful. 

"Oh baby, don't be that cute or I'll just have to fuck you right now." He says this restlessly before connecting his lips with yours. You let out a sigh of relief before giving into him. It was kind of the first physical contact he made after getting in this room, which has been nothing but hard for him to keep his hands away from you. He deepens the kiss. Tilting your face to the left, he locks his fingers in your hair, pulling them. The kiss was sloppy and messed up and just perfect, laced with desire and lust in every bit of it. Your tongues collided, your teeth clashed; you both just couldn't get enough of each other. Your hands rested on his neck, gripping tightly for support. He bites your lower lip making you gasp, then sucks it like candy. 

You reciprocate his every move. You try to, but you are getting out of breath. His hands travel down your back, lifting the t-shirt up and gripping your ass, squeezing it hard. You say his name aloud, breaking the kiss, "Yuta!" Your forehead rested on his shoulder while he kissed and nipped at your ear while kneading you, "Yes baby, you like it?" You hum in response, lifting your head up and looking at him, holding him close. "Rub your clit for me, baby." 

You bite your lower lip, lowering your hands and legs, your gaze never leaving his. You rub yourself up and down and in circles. He can't really see, but he knows. It makes his dick twitch. You let out a loud, breathy, dragged out moan, setting up a pace, "mhmmm shit."

He mimics that moan, his eyes burning with desire and lust. "Mhmmm shit... Nice and slow, yea baby, so good for me." You let out another breathy moan, closing your eyes but quietly this time, not wanting him to mock you again. 

His finger was placed on yours, on the one that was rubbing circles on your clit. You jump, in shock or excitement, you don't know. Your brain seizes the movement of your finger completely, "Why did you stop?" he takes over. His fingers move up and down, making yours move as well. Resting his forehead on yours, he continues to play with you, making you whimper with every flick. 

He moves your hands aside, your face contouring in pleasure when his fingers touch you, bare and raw, with nothing in between. There were chills running down your lower back, your stomach tightening with the pleasure he was delivering. Slowing down a little, he collects your wetness in his fingers, bringing it to your mouth to suck on it. You lick it first, then swirl your tongue around it, and then take it in completely, sucking like a lollipop. 

You kiss him with your flavour in your mouth. His hands find their way back between your legs, rubbing your clit, up and down and sideways, the wetness making his movements sloppy, his fingers gliding frictionless on your sweet swollen nub. His finger circles your opening before carefully dipping it inside of you. You purr in his ear while his lips ghost over the exposed skin of your neck. His breath hits you every time he exhales, absolutely burning your skin to a hot red. You clench around his finger, not letting it escape. Well, you finally have something to clench around this time. He stays inside of you for awhile. 

"Rub yourself again." And in no time, you're following his words, bringing your right hand to circle your clit. Now desperate to release, you don't go for slow motion but rather set a high pace. 

"Slow it down." 

You might be in disagreement looking at him but he gives you one look and you're slowing your fingers down. He pulls his finger out just to push it in again, and again, and again. You try to match your movements with his, setting a slow rhythm. You go up every time he pushes in, and that's how he drives you to your first orgasm of the night.

You've been at the edge for so long, you're coming undone with only one finger. You stop circling yourself and hold him to keep yourself up while his fingers are still working you up, slow and steady, riding you through it and pushing you into the beginning of the next one. 

His finger was buried up to his knucles, deep in you. He places his palm flat against your mound. You press into his touch. Moving your hips to grind into his hand, breathing harshly, he supports your body and whispers praises in your ear about how good you are and the amazing job you're doing. Just when you thought you could cum again, he makes you stop and removes his hand from between your legs. 

Licking his finger clean, he asks you to get on your hands and knees, "face down ass up, fast!" he said while pumping himself. The site of his hardened veiny dick was hard to look at. It was begging for your attention, but you weren't really confident with that. Instead of following his order, you stare at him palming himself. You look at him with a question written in your eyes. He understands what you're asking for but doesn't really acknowledge it. "Please." You kneel in front of him. He rolls his eyes, but gives you a look of content. 

"My girl wants a taste." 

You smile when he calls you his girl, "Yes. Your girl wants a taste." emphasis on the, "your girl." 

When you bring your face closer and look up at him, ready to take him in, he curses under his breath, holding your head in place with his hands clenching your hair in a fist, in the softest manner. "Open your mouth." You do, also giving a little extra you stick your tongue out for him.

He places the tip of his dick on your tongue, gently sliding it in against the surface. You close your lips around it. He slides further deep into your mouth, controlling himself to not push in too deep. Very slowly, he draws it out, leaving you empty and wanting more of him. He lets you take a taste, though. Slithering against your tongue in swift motions.

You swirl your tongue around his tip, which is already leaking. You try to take him deeper but his grip won't let you he only fucks his tip in. Finally bringing up the courage to take him into your small hands, you wrap your hand around the base of it, applying slight pleasure, moving your hand up and down his shaft. 

"Just like that." His voice boosts your confidence. He lets you play with him with your innocent little hands which are like a tease to him, until he can't take it anymore. Seeing you determined, his grip on your hair tightens and with his other hand, he moves your hands aside. He yanks your head back. "Open wider" He growls, as you do. And he slams his cock deeper than before. The sounds you produce are embarrassing. He goes deeper, causing you to gag, your heartbeat fastening even more all of a sudden. You mumble protest, telling him to remove himself and wrap your hand around his wrist, taking a hold of it. He withdraws himself, you cough a little, breathing deeply, then open your mouth again to take him in. He grins, "Now that's my baby!" tightening his fist around your hair and pulling your head a little more up. 

He slides his dick down again, slowly and gently going deeper. He wasn't even going deep to be honest; he was just at the brim, yet your mouth was full of him. Hair messed up and eyes watery, swollen lips wrapped around his girthy member, saliva trailing down your neck, only acting as a lubricant. When he finally siezes his dick after seeing your tousled state and didn't want to cum just yet, you try to regain your breath. Holding your hair back, not pulling anymore, rather soothing your nerves down. Wiping a tear away, he devours your glistening lips with his, not taking any time to deepen it. Pushing you down on the bed, he hovers over you, keeping his knee in between your legs, very very close to your aching to be touched core. His lips leave yours, connecting to your still aching jaw. He leaves a warm wet trail of kisses down your neck and everywhere in between. Sloppy kisses were placed along your clavicle, purposely sucking and leaving red marks around, making you hiss in pain and take his name. 

His hands roam up and down your body, making sure there isn't a single inch left to be touched and explored by him. His hand stretched the tee you were wearing, revealing only the upper part of your breast. He kitten licks the area, then bites the flesh and soothes it with a kiss, making every part of your body his, messed up, burning hot and so beautiful. 

His lips go south, taking your hardened nipple in his mouth and sucking on it through the thin fabric of the tee. While playing with the other, Your lower body automatically starts grinding on his knee, trying to obtain some friction, but it seems to be not working, but you swear the amount of heat dissipating from just the mere contact was enough to melt gold and silver. 

He is too intoxicated just by the way you feel against his lips. He brings himself back to reality to perform the second main job. He gets off the bed only to sink down on his knees in front of you. His face only a few licks away from your heat, you move closer to his mouth. He separates your legs further away, only able to look at you in full bloom this once. Drunk already, he dives in for a sip, and he is not disappointed. A long lick from the bottom of your warmth till up to your clitoris got your toes curling. While he laps at your juices, you curse his name a hundred times. He flicks your clit with his tongue, then sinks it as deep as it can go into you while nuzzling his nose to brush against your clit, it's a perfect blend to which he adds his fingers, the middle one he pushes in first. Out he comes to push it in 2 knuckles deep and then finally sink it deeper, curling it inside, making you roll your eyes back in pure bliss. You're feeling extremely. He adds another finger. That hurts a little but is soon replaced with pleasure. He works you up to your second orgasm, but doesn't let you cum just yet. 

His hands leave your body at once, and you hold back a moan, trying not to sound desperate. His figure walks across the room where he must have kept his wallet. 

You hear a wrapper being torn, goosebumps crawl up on your skin. He takes no time to return. "Make room for me." He gets on the bed, splitting your legs wider. He lets you rest in a comfortable position, keeping a pillow under your head. He drags his fingers between your folds, collecting your juices and spreading them on his member. You look up at the ceiling, aftain, excited, impatient. The yellow lights are forming abstract patterns on the wall. You feel his tip at your entrance, and soon he pushes it in with optimum pressure. You contract your muscles and your eyes shut tightly at the feeling. It's one of pain and fear and not pleasure. "Yuta, it hurts." You breathe out and call his name, your hands trying to grab his shoulders. He pushes in further, rather slowly this time while towering over you and coming face to-face, "Good." 

You lift your hips up a little to ease out the passage, and he bottoms out. He stays like that for a minute. No words were exchanged, just the feelings being felt. His breaths are uneven matching with yours. He connects your foreheads together. You don't know if his eyes are closed or open. They're closed. You inhale him in as he exhales you. 

"Fuck," he growls just before abruptly slamming into you, "Fuck." 

And then it continues, and it hurts no more. He's fucking you hard and slow, going deep and deeper. Making you cry out every time he hits that spot. His voice is husky and low, sending shivers dancing up and down your body. You whimper under him. Your sounds, mixed with the slickness of your bodies crashing into each other, were playing on repeat; warmth and lust in the shade of red were decorating the room, and the orange glitched tint was illuminating the perfect parts of him and you. 

He goes from a painfully slow to a pleasurably fast pace, no mercy he was showing, abusing your little cunt with his big thick dick, driving all the pleasure out for himself as he should, while giving you exactly what you wanted. So good. It feels so good to finally have him inside you, using you, destroying you to only mend you as whole, as his. 

He's fucks you so right.

He lifts his body up a little, supported by his hands over you, looking at your contoured face. He slaps your cheek playfully in an attempt to get you to open your eyes and look at him while he fuxks the shit out of you. He grabs your hands and pins them behind your head. Oh, he knows you are going to come, but it doesn't make him stop or slow down. He continues fuxking you harder and harder until you come undone under him. Your body convulses. Waves of pleasure travel through your nerves, hitting your brain. Your vision go black and, for a brief moment, you lose complete sense of reality, being in a state of complete euphoria. You've never had an orgasm like this before.

And the best part of it all is that he doesn't stop. 

He's drilling in and out of you at a monsteric pace. Your body writhes under him, trying to squirm its way out of his grip, but all these go in vain when his fingers wrap around your dainty neck, applying only the right amount of pressure to hold you down and keep your body fixed in its place. 

When he loses control, his merciless pace becomes even more merciless, banging his head hard, fast, and deep all at once. His thrusts became sloppy and rushed. Chasing after his high, he goes feral. You watch him clench his jaw in pleasure, the sweat rolling down making his hair stick to his skin, his low grunts and humming sound. He's trying to contain himself. What a sight. It makes you want to cum again. 

The pleasure starts building at the pit of your stomach again. You wrap both your hands around his hand, the one that was choking you, while rocking your hips back and forth, trying to match him, looking into his eyes, speaking with an unspoken language. 

And that's how he fuckls you into believing that you are enough, for him and for yourself. That you are capable of being loved and taken care of. That even if you're messy and stupid and dumb, you're still perfect. That you can let go and you can trust. That you can be.

Be his.

And then he explodes inside of you. He couldn't be more grateful, couldn't be more precise in saying that his wait was worth it. You were worth it. He rubs you into your third orgasm. And after that, nothing was like it was before. 

All of you changed. 

All of you changed when he kissed you and told you that he loved you so much. All of you changed when you saw him clean you up in the after hours. All of you changed when he fell asleep beside you, taking you into his arms. 

All of you changed when you met him for the first time.

______

did not proof read, but hope u liked it, The constructive criticism is accepted here, do leave a follow ~

#nct #nct 127 #nct dream #wayv smut #wayv #jaehyun #yuta nakamoto #taeyong #mark lee #nct jhonny #nct yuta smut #nct yuta #nct nakamoto yuta #jaehyun smut #spotify #aesthetic #smut masterlist #nct smut #nct fic #nct imagines #music #kpop #fanfic #under the influence #no guidance #corruption

[jina-juhi]

Hello hello again me here. And yes your Ten one really had me curling into a ball because it was so good ,, whatever you tried to portray out your words literally spoke. I read and explore different ffs from different authors alot. And honestly not everything sits with my taste. I stand to be picky here. But your one had me.

And coming to the point sadly no I donot have any sepcific concept in my head which I would want from you:'( . I will just want to leave it to you trusting you with it. All I would want is for it to be a bit realistic like it should be very Yuta of him like yk his silly nature but kind of dominating abit possesive kinda. We can further have a good discussion about the plot too. I would love to have few plot suggestions as we go by or just you can make it on your own no probs.

so i tried.

to put everything you wanted.

but tumblr had to delete it all.

:)

so i just went with the flow AND I HOPE YOU LIKE IT IM SO SO SO SORRY LATE AS ALWAYS NOT EVEN DELIVERING YOU WHAT YOU WANTED but here something to make it up to you,,,, i.

i hope you like it, the possibility of us.

@yutassugarhoe

with luv, <3

[jina-juhi]

walk me home?

Pairing : sweet! Jaehyun × female reader

Genre : smut (minors dni)

Ratings : 18+

word count : 5.6k

Warnings : soft ! Jaehyun, orgasm, fingering, oral (f reciving), very minor dom jaehyun, he likes to command okay? use of pet names (not much) protected sex, not so shy!reader, sad!reader, quite!reader, riding, licking. a little corruption kink maybe?

Preview:- In which a stupid game of truth and dare makes you realise how much you want Jaehyun.

A/N : very slight plot:) I've been mia i know,,,

my smuts kinda revolves around the reader, and for some reason the reader is always in a place that is not so happy. So if you're not okay with reading such a concept you're free to not read this.

not proofread,

other works~

Been a difficult day? It's been a difficult year. Speaking out loud and clear, your life is a mess and you're not at all happy with it. If skipping college classes to be able to steal a one hour sleep off the day to only stay awake the whole night taking care of old grannies at the old age home was the original plan you would have considerably switched onto the next option. But what could you have done, night is the only time you could find to take up a part time job because money is important, which you unfortunately don't have enough. You can't totally skip college or they wouldn't let you take the scholarship exam you're currently studying and doing all the hard and extra work for.

The original plan was to get into college and have the best time of your life possible, maybe, not the best life, maybe not the best clothes, the best laptop or the best grades but at least, a little less tension, a little less uncertainty and hopelessness. A little more independence. Maybe some good friends and night outs, and going to carnivals together, and movie date with someone you could call your own.

Was this all too much to ask for when you finally got into college? No. But life isn't fair, and you never complain. Bad things happen, they keep on happening, you just gotta learn how to deal with them. And that is what you are doing, going out, at 10 pm, to a party, alone because your friends didn't really find it necessary to ask you to join, hoping that you got the address right.

It has been pouring and it's chilly out on the streets, you're quite grateful for wearing a cardigan over your cute, not so little tube dress. So many uncertainties driving you mad right now, what if you didn't qualify for the scholarship? who's going to pay for your studies. Loan, not an option. You can't always keep working and sacrifice your sleep and peace of mind, your health is important which hasn't been good lately.

With all these thoughts running through your head you arrive at the party, you walk in without a second thought. Pretty house, pretty lights, pretty people. All so happy. Too happy for you, you think to yourself while finding something to drink, something non alcoholic, and someone. It's not like you don't know anyone here, you know a lot of people, it's just they don't know you.

Grabbing a drink you decide to go over to the sofa, sit and watch people, what you usually do, in the library, coffee shop, classroom. So many different faces, so many different stories. So many different problems everyone must be going through, and yet everyone fails to understand each other. What a tragedy.

You were never like this, sitting alone, not talking. This you is not you, you used to be bubbly, funny, radiant. Once you used to start talking, no one could shut you up, and oh the random shit you would do, you used to be happy. Right now, you don't even know if you're breathing anymore. You're just there, time goes by, the tea gets cold and butterflies get born and you, are still there. Stuck. Thing after thing happens, and it's like they nail you to the ground. You just can't move on.

the truth is, you're too tired to move on. Enough times you've tried, you're tired of trying. So you learnt to live with whatever it is, you learnt to stay quiet and enjoy your own company, not really wanting to get close with people, not really going out and having fun. Just your room, earphones plugged in and a painting brush in your hand whenever time allows. This was your small, but happy little world.

Strangely familiar faces pass you by as you sip on your drink under the dim lights. The music's loud, but it's sexy. You spotted your friends a long time ago in the room somewhere, who don't really seem to have noticed you too, gratefully. Everybody is either dancing, or drunk or both.

and he's watching you.

Your brain has been screaming this one sentence since past how many? 10 minutes you've been sitting there. He's sitting on the kitchen counter across the room with his evergreen group of friends. Loose white tee hugging is frame perfectly. It's not a clear view, people are moving in between and the lights are low, but you are so perfectly able to see him ruffling his already messed up hair, laughing but not paying attention to whatever others are saying, sipping on some liquor you suppose, sweet glimmering eyes dancing from person to person landing on you at the same time your's lands on him, looking somewhere else the moment they meet. Bracelets in both hands, silver chains hanging around his neck. Pretty.

as always.

Why would he even look at you. Out of all the pretty girls in the room, why, would he even bother to look at you, who are you. Does he even know you? He doesn't even need to say a word and it would be a long line of girls waiting with their legs wide open for him, after all its Jaehyun.

and he knows you.

So it happened on a very fine normal working college day, your friend Mark, with whom you share one or two classes, thought it would be nice to have lunch with him, he was being kind as your friends ditched you in front of him. He's a nice guy, decent one, cute, angel-like, and a very caring friend. You thought it would be just you two but his friends were there too, amongst them was Jaehyun too. So yeah he knows you, your name. Not much interaction, you don't really talk, and he doesn't really initiate, just some hi and hellos and smiles in the hallway, and small little conversation when you have lunch with them. that's it.

that's it? the way he always makes sure you get what u need?

and passing you water whenever your glass goes empty.

You decide to get up as the more you sit there the more you notice. The more the urge to go there and be with them, because they seem to have fun there playing some game. You wanna play too. As you get up to find some other spot, Mark calls you over. Something that you have been ignoring, but you don't this time, it would be rude, he has been kinder than anybody, involving you in small little things, texting you making sure you're okay, that you ate, that you got home safely from your work.

Passing the crowd you greet them all and stand beside Mark who side hugs you, "I've been calling you, where were you looking?" Rummaging through the excuse section in your brain you make a confused face, "couldn't hear the phone over the loud music, sorry." you shrug, he mouths a 'its okay' quickly, asking you to play the game of truth or dare with them.

"Who plays truth and dare." You make a bored face expression your disapproval, shaking your head no. You just didn't want to with Jaehyun sitting right in front of you. "We, and you're playing with us. C'mon Markie it's your turn! Pick a chit" Yuta smiles at you first, switching his attention to Mark, offering him a bowl full of chits. So basically it's a bowl of written truths and dares, and you gotta do or answer whatever comes.

You look around at everyone, everybody is saying something, smiling, laughing, having fun, being there. Happy. Effortlessly.

why couldn't you.

Its this overwhelming feeling that overshadows all the good you feel, every fucking time. It's not that you make yourself feel bad, its not kike you make the choice, its there, and you dont know what to do about or how to make it go away, how to deal with them.

The chit reads, "to finish 2 full bottles of liquor by the end of the game" and everybody cheers him up because of course, we all know it's gonna be hard for him given his tolerance level.

"Truth or dare?" You were taken off guard by Haechan, who threw the cap of a bottle he just opened passing it to Mark, and passing you the bowl, everybody taking your name unison, you roll your eyes and pick up a chit. Before you could open it Haechan snatches it away from your hands, opening it himself, smirking.

"I hope she doesn't back off now!"

"What do you mean by back off?"

"Say you'll do it no matter what or I'll not waste a dare on you." as poking as his tone was, no of course you're not going to back off.

"Just tell me the fucking dare"

For some reason Haechan looks over at Jaehyun and laughs, "I'm gonna enjoy it the most" Looking at you now, "You gotta lick something off of someone's chest standing in front of you."

All the hooting and oohs were background noise because all you could hear right now is the excitement your heart was beating with, and the fear of doing something, in front of everyone, with Jaehyun, that you've never done before. Did I mention somewhere that you're one the most sexually frustrated teens round the corner? And did i also mention that Jaehyun right now is the main character of your thoughts and dreams? But isn't it obvious? Like day to night to morning, one thing you use as a distraction is this guy. But he's not a mere distraction. More like, the centre of your attraction.

Little things he does for you are remarkably the sweetest of all. He won't ever mention them though. It's like, he knows something's down with you, and not being very obvious he makes sure you're doing fine whenever he possibly could. Listening to you when you don't even speak. Understanding you just with one single look. That's what you need, what you want, you crave being understood, being known, being heard. You need someone who could tell just by the way you walk that you are not okay. Who doesn't believe you when you say you're fine. Who doesn't walk off when you say you wanna be alone. Who could hold you close and never let go. Whose mere presence could make you feel at home, because home, is a place you've never been to. It's a feeling you've never really known. It is a word you've never really spoken, but oh how every broken piece of you wanna feel like it belongs somewhere, or to someone.

Oh and you're really inexperienced, had a little fling back when you were 18 but it lasted barely a year. So to lick, is something foreign, but exciting,"unless he doesn't have any problem." tilting your head sideways you direct your sentence to Jaehyun, god knows where this confidence is coming from, but hell you love it!

The corners of his lips turn slightly up, the soft angelic eyes turning a bit devil like, swallowing hard he parts his lips to say something, looking right into your eyes, as if studying you, "only if you're fine with it."

Taking a second to register his words, he's asking for consent, personally.

The littlest things he does.

Giving him an assuring nod, you move forwards, "So what do i have to lick?" and everybody gets so fucking loud, as if they've never seen this before happening. To be a disappointment now would be a greater disappointment. Gulping every ounce of courage you could, taking the ice cream from yuta's hands, you stand in front of him, trying to control your shaking hands and beating heart. Moving slightly backwards to give him space as he removes his tee, for you.

You're mind is yelling a million things to you right now, the situation's already intimidating enough, with his eyes on you, watching every move you make, not helping at all.

"You don't have to." he reassures.

"No it's okay, i just have to figure this thing, it's melting"

"What's there to figure, just put it here and lick it off"

lick it off.

And you lick it off. The smell of his perfume filling up your lungs blurring out your senses, adjusting your focus on the licked area, theres some cream still left, you don't hesitate once before licking it all clean. You don't care what's going on in the background it's just you, and his presence.

Before you could even be proud of yourself, a whole bottle of wine? liquor? was emptied on you by a very annoyingly excited Haechan. Everyone went silent all of a sudden, you wanted to speak but nothing really came out of your mouth. He was apologizing non-stop, you just said it was fine and excused yourself to go to the bathroom.

The whole situation was a question mark but Haechan's just crazy, a well known fact, so you tried not to think about this. Finding your way to the bathroom upstairs, everything just got irritating for some reason. You don't quite like going out because things like this happen, and it renders you irritated and exhausted. For no reason at all. These are normal things that happen but you're not used to them, this is what is irritating, you don't know what normalcy is, you've forgotten what it's like to be normal.

Getting in the bathroom, inhaling deep to calm yourself down, you step out of the tight, and now stinky dress leaving it on the floor. Going over the sink, finding a towel and wetting it you wipe yourself clean.

"Shouldn't one lock the door behind?"

You jump out of your skin turning back to look for the source of the voice, your hands instinctively try to cover yourself.

"Oh it's you" It was Jaehyun standing at the bathroom door, your hands moving down because you didn't really feel the need to hide, and for some reason you felt at ease.

"Need help?" he asks stepping in.

"It's really okay, I'll manage, thanks." You turn around, opening your soaked up hair, looking for another towel. He finds it for you.

"I'll help anyways." You don't really say or protest, you just let him be; present. Let him help you. He locks the door behind, stepping closer, he stands behind you, "the smell won't go away easily."

"Courtesy of your friend" you give a plain smile as you feel him detangle your hair from behind, a feeling you never knew could be so soothing? "Ignore him, he can be a lot sometimes." he says gathering your hair in the towel, squeezing them gently.

You nod not really wanting to say something at the moment. "Well, you don't really know how to lick something or someone right?" You open your eyes to the sudden change in topic, "i mean, you were good enough for a newbie but, you could do better."

"Erm? what are you talking about"

"Oh you have every idea of what I'm talking about." Moving your hair aside, fingertips touching your skin, leaving a tickle behind, the contact titillating you both. Licking his lips, he uses the towel to wipe your arm, pressing the cold cloth on your skin, dragging it up in slow sensual motion, he looks you in the eyes through the mirror, "Don't play the innocent card now."

"Jaehyun what-"

"What?"

You pause. Not really knowing what to say next. It's hard to look him in the eye when he's looking directly at you, eye to eye. You shift your focus on the tap, just something but him, his eyes. His goddamn eyes.

The realisation hits you when you struggle to take a breath that you haven't been really breathing for don't know how long, he chuckles.

"I asked you something."

"huh?" was all you could manage, his hands were leaving burning flames on your skin, his breath hitting your neck was making your senses go feral, every second under his hard gaze was making it impossible for you to breathe, given you were with him alone in a locked room, only in your undies, hair soaking wet with liquor and desire evident in every inch of your exposed skin.

Only if you were looking at him you could see how much he was controlling. How much he wanted you bent right now under him, under his mercy, screaming his name, begging him to stop but not really wanting him to, oh how badly he had wanted to make you feel right every time he saw you crying, how badly he had wanted to take your pain away and make you feel okay, and loved and heard. Make you his.

You jump in surprise when u feel his tongue roll on your shoulder, flat against your skin, burning every inch it covers, and up your neck, just baby licks and kisses, "What are you doin?" you speak lowly in a hurry, barely above a whisper,not trusting your voice at the moment.

"Showing you how it's done."

"Why?" Every emotion you ever felt was put into this single word. Unsaid and unheard but deeply felt feelings were expressed in a vivid eye to eye conversation.

"Because you're letting me." An answer beyond your expectations.

It's a different feeling, you've never ever experienced this, i mean all this adrenaline rush through your blood, this gush of heat you feel in your fingertips is all fine but this understandability, this connection, this feeling of someone, this is new, and it's all him, it's all Jaehyun. You don't stop him, you just look at him, silently speaking your heart out. He's looking at you too, understanding everything.

His hands are holding you by your waist, you lean into him and his lips have already found their place in the crook of your neck, kissing and licking lightly which soon was replaced by harsh sucking and biting, tracing invisible lines on your skin, working art with his tongue on you, your head resting on his shoulder, hands creeping up to fiddle with his sweaty hair while his pretty lips are leaving a trail down your neck.

You gulp hard, mouth drying, breathing unevenly, lips parted and eyes closed, lost in this heavenly feeling. He takes this opportunity to capture your lips with his, taking you in for a gentle kiss, he makes you turn around never breaking the kiss, now face to face, tilted at an angle, melting under each other's touch he cups your face, his body pressing into you.

Tongue gliding against each other, his hands roaming your body freely, discovering places you've never been before, eliciting feelings you've never felt before, he deepens the kiss, pressing his body against yours, your hands shakey, no power in your legs to stand straight he holds you up, suckling your lower lip he breaks the kiss letting you breathe, hands never leaving your body.

It felt like you were drunk. Drunk on love. Drunk on him. Being able to feel this intimacy with him got you falling for him head over heels all over again. Being able to feel his hands on you, his lips on your lips got you all dizzy in your head. Intoxicated by him wholly and completely, not being able to resist, you reach for his lips but he moves away.

"Wear your cloths and meet me outside the front gate."

It was quite sudden and processing the information was quite a job as you were still ticklish from his touches. Studying the confusion on your face, "fast."

You nod your head yes as he leaves. You pick up the alcohol drenched dress and wear it in a hurry, collecting your things you leave the bathroom, down the stairs your heart racing at the speed of light in the anticipation of what is to come next. You make your way through the crowd, eyes searching for his figure.

You meet him right where he told you to meet him. You take a breath, walking in his direction he smiles at you which you return, "let's go."

"Where?" You ask cuz genuinely you had no idea where he was gonna take you.

"Home, your home"

"I'll- I'll go by myself you don't have t-"

"I will. Now shall we?" he motions you to walk by him. You follow. Moving beside him, you both leave the house. Too afraid rather too shy to open your mouth and question literally everything that was happening right now you prefer silently walking. But someone had to say something because then it would get really awkward to even look him in the eyes, so you do, "umh so like are we a thing now?"

"A thing?" he looks at you with raised eyebrows, eyes glimmery under the street lights

"No! i mean like, like what are we now that we have, you know now that we have-"

"-kissed, and made out." he completes your sentence knowing your too shy to say the word.

"yea that." you reply not looking at him.

"What do you think are we?" For a moment you went blank. But then you thought. About the both of you. the term Friends is underrated and lovers is overrated.

"I truly don't know, but it's better this way."

"Better that nothing can define what we have?" he says looking at you.

"Better that we don't have any labels attached?" and you're looking at him.

"Better that we don't have to just be that one thing?"

"Better that we can be anything."

"we can be us." This line you both say in unison. Looking at each other you both chuckle, he's cute, he looks cute when he smiles, you both notice every little detail about each other. You dont have to say the I love yous, its natural you know, its in the way he smiles at you, its the way he looks at you that you know he loves you.

Moving in for a kiss, his warmth greets you again in the cold of the night. It was only meant to be a cute little peck but the hunger took over and it turned out to be a full blown make out session in the middle of nowhere.

"Fuck" he groans in between the hot battle of the lips not being able to keep up with you, cupping your face looking at you amazed and in awe, yeah apart from sad you are some greedy needy girl one must know, "yea me, please!" puppy eyes with need written all over your face he couldn't help but get even more excited by each second passing in your presence.

"Don't you think it's too early for that" he asks and an immediate frown drowns on your face. Shaking your head no, you convey your disapproval. Thinking of all the times you've wanted this, all times you've wanted Jaehyun, of all things you wanted him to do, and now that it is happening, you wouldn't say no to this not now not ever.

It's some kind of a different craving you have for him, it's not just love hell you don't even know what love is. This is not entirely a sexual, physical or mental want or need. It's an undescribable yearning for a connection. And it's beautiful.

Within seconds you both were melting into each other's arms, time was a forgotten concept and the world is a non-existent place for the both of you. Lips and hands and touch and kisses are the only reality you both are living in right now, it's crazy falling in love and it's even more crazy falling in love with him. If this is what love is.

With your mind going dizzy and vision blurry, lust taking over your body, knocking you out of your senses, too afraid to let him go and too afraid to hold him close, you let him take control. Under his guidance you reciprocate his every move, complete his every action, repay his every touch. His aroma soothing your pain and his presence giving peace to your heart, he's leading you home, you're home, he's your home.

Breath hitching and muffled moans leaving your mouth, your hands clench the blanket tightly as his tongue spells stars on your throbbing clit, hes been at it forever it seems, driving you too close to the edge but holding you strong enough to not let you fall just yet. The teasing part was the hardest. You didn't even knew when you guys made it to your bedroom, like just now you both were awkwardly talking on the road and then you were kissing in the elevator and tripping on the hallway and now you're lying completely naked with his head in between your legs, drinking your juices, bittersweet and he loves it.

"I thought it was the liquor burning but it's only you." the loss of contact makes you look up, his deselved look incites a tickle in your lower tummy, lips glistening because of your essence and eyes drunk, you reward him with a maon rolling your hips up, shutting your eyes tightly. A hiss leaves your lips when he replaces his tongue by his finger moving in sweet circular motion. His lips found a new spot sucking and biting the tender skin of your inner thighs leaving cherry sweet love bites here and there.

You throw your head back in ecstasy breathing in deep before completely holding your breath as he fastens the torture. Low grunts left his throat watching your core drip honey in full blossom. He lifts himself up, hovering over you, fingers never once stopping their job. Giving your neck an open mouthed kiss, he connects his lips with yours, biting and sucking your plump delicate lips, savouring every moment, tilting his head to be closer to you he inserts his finger into your wet hole, your body spasming to his unfamiliar touch, you arch your back meeting his chest, breathing in synchronisation, his fingers picks up the pace, breaking the kiss, his eyes never leaving yours, his palm grazing against your clit and finger going in and out of you makes you go feral, and he doesn't hold you this time. He lets you come undone under him.

Electricity running through your nerves sends your brain floating high up in 7th heaven. He lets you ride your high, training soft kisses down your neck to the middle of your breasts. Taking your left nipples in his mouth, suckling it sweetly he let his hands from between your legs to cup the other breast. The utter delicacy he does it with, god he's perfect in every way possible, how hes sucking and how hes nipping at it how he lets his tongue taste every corner of your skin, slowly and deliciously hes mind mapping you, learning every sound your making.

Too much, little do you know he's controlling himself too much, he wants to give it to you slow but little does he know you don't want it slow.

"Umh Jaehyun please" half a voice and half a moan you ask him to fuck you right then and there.

He laughs and sits in between your legs. "Impatient much huh?" tilting his cute little head his hair wavering with the motion, you nod with pleading eyes. He chuckles at you for the 9th time tonight. "Might have a condom?" No. You don't. You lay with a blank face. The thought saddened you that you won't be able to do it but, "Aww i do cutey"

"Jaehyun!!" You shout in embarrassment as he gets off of bed laughing hard at you. That's when you realise the whole time he was literally fully dressed, from head to toe. Disappointed in yourself, you get on your knees on the bed, him eyeing your every move, you shift to where he stood frozen looking at you, for a moment it was frightening, but you extend your hands reaching for his shirt, he gets what you want to do. With a smirk planted on his lips permanently, he turns towards you giving you full excess and freedom.

You look at him and divert your gaze, focusing on removing the shirt. One job done. Now as much as you wanna sit and stare at his abs, and ofcourse lick them again, this time properly pants still are needed to be undone.

You gulp hard, opening the button and sliding down the zipper, but before you could slide them down your hands were caught by his, "I know you wanna lick me again."

What the fuck.

Eye contact was a dangerous move in this game.

"Lick it."

And you are, your tongue flat against his hard muscles dragging from the bottom up to his clavicle.

"Good girl, you learn fast."

Planting a small kiss on his jaw you speak in whispers, "now im impatient and i need you to fuxk me real bad like right now."

He huffs. Not even in a second you're pushed back on the bed. "Don't move." is what he says as he removes his pants and boxers at the same time, revealing himself to you for the very first time. He sure is all breathtakingly sexy but all you care about right now is your dripping core and and his hard member inside you.

You let out a harsh noise of annoyance when he gets on the bed gently adjusting you the way he wants. He was gonna say you sure or not but before he could you reassured him that yes you want this as much as he wants it, and that you will never ever regret and and he could hurry up a bit because the need to feel him inside is physically hurting at this point.

Your soul leaves your body when he enters you, slowly at first but then when you insist hes in you in one swift motion. He stays like that for a while letting you adjust to him. He grunts lowly, "Baby don't do that."

"Do what?" your voice is barely audible.

"Let loose, relax yourself" he says, that's when you realise what you were doing. You mutter a small apology and try to relax yourself. You sigh in relief when he finally starts moving. "Feels good hmm?" his muffled voice sending shivers running down to your core, you whine in response not being able to think straight, just feeling him gripping your hips, his head buried in the crook of your neck, listen to his uneven breathing and low grunts is adding to the pleasure his providing you with.

He's aiming for his release, setting a fast pace, sweat dripping from his body, forehead sticking to each other hes holding himself up so he could go deeper and deeper with every thrust. Feeling his tip every time he enters you drives you towards your orgasm faster than before.

He sits himself up dragging you along with him. Positions are reversed now, "Put it in yourself." hesitant at first, with shaky hands you take it into your palm, not quite sure what to do first you give a few strokes which is enough to drive him insane, "Dont know how to?"

You were too busy admiring him in your hands for the first time that you almost forgot he was watching you, his question startled you, looking at him you say, "i do."

"Then do it."

"I am, just giving myself some time."

He imitates you, teasing you knowing your too innocent for him, he could do this all day. Flustered and somehow determined to prove him wrong you position yourself on top of him pointing its tip at your entrance. You slowly sink down on him, both of your eyes closing as a reflex. Holding his shoulders for the support you bottom out on him, making him moan your name loudly, you open your eyes and you are greeted with the most handsome face you've ever watched. Eyes shut closed, head rolled back in pleasure and furrowed forehand, what a view. Setting up a steady pace, you rock your hips back and forth, riding him leisurely.

His hands grip your waist assisting you,"Fuxk baby so sexy, just like that." Jaehyun seemed to have lost all control. Holding you up he thursts up at a hurried pace with all the energy that he can. Not once has he released for the night and now hes reaching hos high and so are you.

Breathy moans getting louder and louder with every thrust, harshly breathing and coming undone in each others arms was a pure bliss, especially when he held you close to him as you both tried to catch your breaths.

Both of your hair are a mess, bodies tired and covered in sweat, panting heavily. He is whispering praises in your ear, rubbing your back telling you you did good. Scratches of your nails formed on his shoulder and neck now turning red, tickling with sweet pain. Your head is on his shoulder, face in the crook of his neck, hands tangling and playing with the small stands of his hair. His arms holding you, making you feel safe. Making you feel loved. Making you feel at home.

"Tired?"

"yes"

"Why are you so cute huh?" you purr at his cheesy comment, Laughing a little, hugging him tighter.

"Jaehyun?"

"hmm?"

"Thanks for walking me home."

_________________________________________________

And thanks to you for reading and putting up with this utter piece of cring. I totally understand if you wanna unfollow and dislike and never read something like this ever.

But if you liked it, THEN PLS LIKE AND SHARE AND FOLLOW AND REBLOG. Because it matters a lot~

my masterlist ✨

#Spotify #kpop #fanfic #aesthetic #jaehyun #nct smut #nct imagines #nct fic #nct 127 #nct jaehyun #jaehyun smut #nct127 smut #smut

[jina-juhi]

bestie I followed because you I loved your ten fic. Also it's so hard to find idol x reader fics so I had to follow you so I wouldn't lose you when you post again lol 💜💜

Can't wait for the next fic. Post notifications: ON

I am honoured beyond my expectations_

I will try my best to keep up i promise!!

Thank you so much for the support✨✨

[jina-juhi]

Hey I've read your Ten Fic and I think as of now. This is going to be the top one in my favourite list. Can you write upon Yuta too? 👉👈

Omgggg i am so so sooo sorry for replying too late,,,,, i literally am so happy to know you liked the, yk whatever i tried to write, thank you so much!!! Top one in your fav list is a great achievement.

And yes ofcourse imma write for yuta! Do you have any specific idea, or plot, or request like something you want me to write about, kinks or literally just anything you can either send in another ask or DM me about that,

Or I can just write something of my own, whatever you want.

#thank you #request #nct yuta nakamoto #fanfic #kpop

[jina-juhi]

Master list

by : jina

NCT

Ten~

I'm not your Baby

Jaehyun~

walk me home?

Yuta~

the possibility of us

Johnny~

feels like

by :- @covertlydark

BTS

Namjoon~

Birthday

#nct #wayv #nct 127 #nct dream #fic masterlist #masterlist #nct masterlist #nct smut #smut masterlist #bts rm #fanfic #kpop #nct fic #nct imagines #bts smut

[jina-juhi]

I'm not your baby

Pairing : soft dom! Ten × female reader

Genre : smut (minors dni)

Ratings : 18+

word count : 5.2k

Warnings : soft dom!ten so tehe, orgasm denial, multiple orgasm, oral (f reciving), very minor bondage, pussy slapping (?), use of pet names (mainly baby) [ten is such a dream] protected sex, shy!reader, sad!reader, quite!reader, sub!reader.

Preview : You weren't in such a situation before, your hands tied up to the headboard of his bed, eyes closed and legs spread wide eagerly awaiting his touch, which he wasn't planning to give you just yet.

A/N : so turns out this smut has a lil plot:)

Triggers : Talks about characters' mother's death (only one line) but Pls do not read if not ok with it. Talks about loneliness, the character is dealing with mental illness not really mentioned in the story, only pills mentioned once, and anxiety issues being mentioned once. Pls pls pls do not read if your not comfortable with it. I tried to keep these as low as possible? Yea.

You weren't quite sure how you ended up in front of his door at literally 11 in the night, desperate? you definitely were, pacing back and forth in your room, fiddling with your phone, contemplating if you should call him or not, the next thing you remember is giving up on calling him and picking up the car keys and driving straight to his apartment, and now your unaware of what to do next because if you call him or text him you'll look desperate (which you are) but then how can you not be because the last meet up was two whole damn weeks ago, 14 days, ofcourse you missed him, more like you missed his touch.

It was discussed the last time you met that you both won't be meeting too often because ten basically has a busy schedule and ofcourse, doesn't wanna get caught, with a girl, not that he cared what people said but he has a career, to which you agreed. You both aren't dating, just sleeping together? as friends? fwb? nah these terms wouldn't be enough to describe what you two have together. It's more than just sleeping together, you both rather not name it.

You knew Ten way before he knew you, it was only a coincidence they performed at the University you study in and you happened to be co-incharge of catering. The moment Ten entered the room you couldn't take your eyes off of him, mesmerized in every way possible you offered them coffee and some cookies, you were so stressed with the job but they made it so easy for you, literally the best people you ever met in your life! Ten actually offered you some help by carrying coffee for the staff and that's how you both got to know each other, from talkin while filling empty coffee cups to watching him perform live, you were hooked. You never really thought about him in that way no! you were busy. College was tough and you had bills to pay, but since that day you just couldn't stop thinking about him, and dear lord! neither could he.

Remember you got bills to pay? Yea you worked a part time job at a bakery, maybe not the best one but they paid good amount so you had no problem. Guess who showed up one day? Ten. How did he found out? "I have my ways." he answered with a smug smile on his face, you talked for hours that day, can't remember what about but it was pretty watching him telling you everything he ever dreamt of, and you remember thinking how can someone like him would even wanna know someone like you. It was pretty. He was pretty. Soon after that you both kinda got closer? He stared telling you things and then you stated telling him things, he opened up about his life and how hard it gets sometimes, then you told him about you and how lonely it gets after your mother passed away, and that's just how it was and still is. When it gets overwhelming for either one of you the person that comes to your mind is him, and for him, it's you.

The only difference now is that you both are sleeping together, which is a whole different level of messed up stories, "you don't have a boyfriend?? you out of everybody in this whole damn world dont have a boyfriend! That's unbelieva- wait that means you're a virgin?" Ten shook his head in disbelief which ended with a laugh, somehow he thought this was funny which only made you even more frustrated. Ten was obviously being extra loud and over exaggerating when you told him you don't have a boyfriend because again college! bills! shitty life! who cares about having a love life when you can't even have a normal one, but deep down you wanted someone and he must've figured that out from just talking with you.

"shhh! Ten you're being loud turn it down, and yes I am so what? life's not fair, don't laugh." You look away from your plate for the first time during the whole conversation. You fix your eyes on some couple, they were cute, holding hands and all, you roll your eyes at them it wasn't jealousy you were feeling, it was the need to be wanted by someone, touched by someone. All these years, through everything you've been through, all those sleepless nights you hugged yourself only hoping it wasn't your hands. All those days when you couldn't breathe and tears would stain your cheeks, how you wished someone to hold you tight and wipe your tears, just someone, anyone.

"I know but nobody's is, and I wasn't laughing at you, It's just that everybody needs some action some perso-" you didn't let him finish, it was getting too heavy to keep everything inside, you blurted out with defeat written all over your face "I know ten I know, yes I need someone, I know that. Someone who could.. who could, you know what never mind" You pick the spoon up to eat the pastry in front of you averting your eyes from him, hoping he would take a hint and change the topic.

"who could make you feel loved." But Ten had to continue. "No, good" you corrected his sentence looking straight into his eyes, "and wanted and needed. I don't know what love is, I just wanna be touched and felt and craved like I want to touch and feel and I don't know why I'm telling you all this, I'm sorry" you sigh, once again looking away playing with the spoon in your hand, not really wanting to eat anymore.

"You never kissed someone right."

Sometimes you're grateful you got to know this guy but the rest of the times you wished you never really met in the first place. Yes he is the best person you ever mate, you love talking to him and spending time with him and yes he is the only person who ever took interest in you but how has this helped you? Are you sleeping better? No. Feeling less lonely? Yes but no. Sadness in your life is something you've learnt how to deal with, and after getting into college and getting yourself a job, life was actually taking turns. It was becoming less of a burden, it wasn't all roses and daisies but, it was better.

Love was a concept you didn't wanted to think about because at that point, focusing on yourself was what needed to be done. But what about your sex life? Dry as a dessert. You weren't a teenager anymore, how long were you gonna get yourself off. Ofcourse you were gonna be wanting more. He just made you more needy let's face it, ever since you started hanging out with him, everytime he looked you in the eyes you could swear every single atom in your body was on fire, everytime he said your name every single fibre of your body wanted to be touched by him.

It took you a few seconds to register his question to which you would have said no to but his hand kept moving forward untill his thumb slightly graze the back of your hand, "We can try things." Taking your hand in his and giving it a little squeeze while smiling at you, you on the other hand were trying to convince yourself that he's just kidding, like this wasn't happening, he's fooling around, you know he talked shit he didn't really mean. But a part of you hoped he meant that because after that day, waking up to an empty bed somehow made you feel emptier than before, living in an apartment alone felt more lonelier, and nights were the toughest, no matter how hard you tried you couldn't stop thinking about how it would feel to have him laying beside you, his arms wrapped around your waist, his body heat radiating into you making you feel safe and warm, breathing in his cologne and how it would calm you down and put you to sleep better then them pills, how it would feel to have his soft fingers dangle over your delicate skin, his breath fanning your ear, his mouth skillfully leaving marks on your skin, his nails digging deep in your flesh, him buried deep inside of you, you're fucked.

The first time you both actually did it, was months after that day, two months to be precise, were spent in denial and self hate for even considering his offer but little did you know he was hoping you would. On usual days, he would talk you through your anxiety over the phone instead of showing up at your apartment in the middle of the night, it must have only taken him about 10 minutes and he was already beside you, trying to calm you down, he held you so close that night like you were some fine piece of pottery that needed to be handled with utmost care, it felt ethereal. You almost broke in his arms, nobody ever did this for you, you know the 'I will be there for you' kinda stuff, you must have been light headed you didn't even remember when sleep took over you but what you do remember is that it was the best sleep you've had in years.

He stayed the night sleeping next to you making sure you were fine in the morning. The tension was thick and evident, it just happened naturally, he grabbed you by your waist and smashed his lips, his soft lips on yours, "we shouldn't." your voice only above a whisper, shuddering as his lips ghosted over your neck, lips touching your burning skin delicately, "you want me to stop?" gently nibbling your ear, you look him in the eye, and shook your head in silence, not really trusting your voice at this moment, he chuckled, "then shut up and let me make you feel good."

And this is how you ended up in front of his dorm, at 11 in the night, dialing his number hoping he isn't asleep already, he wasn't. He was sketching in his room when he saw your name pop up on his screen, he picked up not expecting you to say you were standing right outside his house, he rushed to let you in, "quite though, other may be sleeping." He guided you to his room offering you a glass of water from the kitchen in between. It wasn't your first time here, he has invited you on someday before his birthday as he was gonna be busy cuz he wanted to celebrate with you too. "This wasn't there the first time I came around?" You were talking about a sketch that he must have drawn and stuck on his room wall.

"You like it? you can take it if you want to" you weren't really paying attention to what he was saying you were too busy deciphering the black lines, they were messily drawn, out of any order forming some abstract? something you didn't quite understand, it was alluring, "It's messy but it's beautiful." you say with your eyes wandering around, watching other sketches on his wall, "just like you" he speaks coherently from across the room where he was sitting on his chair. You turn your face following the direction of his voice, and for the first time tonight you take notice of him, the way his hair were messed up must've been ruffled too often, the way his plane black shirt was hugging his figure with only one button closed, the way he was shaking his leg impatiently, the way his eyes lingered over your body devouring you from head to toe, intoxicating you, making it hard for you to breathe, his presence was strong and suddenly your body was hyper aware of it. He knows he has this effect on you that makes you weak in your knees, makes you do things you never thought you would, make you go crazy for him just like he is for you. He gets up from his chair walking towards you, "here for a reason baby?" lifting his eyebrows when he met your face under the dim lighting of his room, his features appearing sharper. You moved back shaking your head no, "No? I read the messages you sent me earlier baby, don't lie I know what you're here for." His voice suddenly an octave low, eyes of a darker shade than before, he caged you between him and the wall, his arms resting on the wall keeping you in between, "why didn't you reply then?" you murmured under your breath not wanting to be too loud and demanding cuz seeing him this way made you nervous, but excited at the same time, "because you've been getting it too easy baby don't you agree? gotta work a little for it right, beg for it."

Beg. for. it. He never said this to you, what has gotten into him? what happened to his sweet and soft side? Beg? For it? How? this was new to you, this Ten was new to you, he was in some other headspace and he was taking you there with him because you were enjoying every single second of this.

"I don't know how." your voice comes out dizzy, as if you were high on some drug, as if you were loosing control on yourself, every nerve in your body was short circuiting, goosebumps forming on your skin and all he was doing was looking at you.

"Just say what you want me to do, don't be afraid."

"ten how can i-"

"Don't make me repeat baby, When I say beg for it, you beg for it."

Shit, mentally cursing yourself for coming here, why is he like this but damn he is hot. This is getting on you, his demanding tone make your heart beats faster, you could feel it pacing against your chest, your breathing fast, it took every ounce of courage, which you didn't had much of, in your body to open your mouth, "I- I want you" was all you could manage under his sinful gaze never once leaving your eyes.

Clicking his tongue, "You need to be more specific baby" he wasn't satisfied with your answer. He moved his hands over to tuck your hair behind your ear, "I- I want you to tou- touch me." You quiver under his touch, blood rushing to your face, heart pacing faster with every second.

"Where?" Moving his hands to unbutton your shirt, you watch his hands as he purposefully makes it slow, you swallow hard. It's just a game for him.

"Everywhere." he smirks undoing the last button and sliding the fabric down your shoulders. Cold air from the ac hitting your newly exposed skin but all you could feel was hot, "And?"

was that not enough Ten? His fingers playing with the button of your shorts, seems for every answer he's going to remove one piece of clothing, glad you didn't wear much. "And kiss me."

Nodding his head yes and humming in response he unzipped your shorts which now lay on the ground near the already discarded shirt, he wasn't giving it to you just yet, he was enjoying it. The mischief in his eyes was prominent, the smirk on his lips only growing as you were giving into him more of what he wanted, he loves to see you loose it everytime, he knows just how needy you are, desperate for his touch, his lips, his dick. For him. You would do anything for him. "And?"

"Ten- please." shaky when you speak as he takes both your hands and pinning them above your head, "Please what baby?" you purr instead. "Say it." as demanding as he was, you did.

"fuck me"

His lips crashes on yours before you could even process that you just said it, the control he has over you. Melted under his lips, your legs felt like jelly thanks to his other hand holding you by your waist so you wouldn't fall. His kiss was demanding, lips moving against yours in sync, tilting your head back he deepened the kiss, his height enabling him to tower over you, incapacitating you in the most incredible way possible, taking full control of you, making you feel things you've never felt before.

He bit your lower lip making you gasp, taking this opportunity he slid his tongue in, gliding over yours, swirling around it, sucking on it like his life depends on it. His grip above your head was tightening, the kiss was becoming hotter, your breath hitched and he broke off the connection to let you breathe, you suck in deep as he moves his lips south, attacking your neck with kisses and nibbles leaving marks, first underneath your ear, then against the collarbone moving lower to the exposed skin of your breasts, you didn't knew you were holding your breath untill he said looking up at you "you can breathe baby."

Ten reconnected your lips together, kissing gently, hand on your waist moving down over your belly, leaving a ticklish feeling behind, his palm covers your heat. You moan into his mouth pushing your hips into his hand, clenching around nothing, the ache now unbearable you were practically dripping, "Already so wet baby?" he tease, applying slight pressure over your mound, you whimpered. He chuckled moving his hand away, tugging your underwear to the side he gathered your wetness on his fingers spreading it accross your folds, slowly, teasing you like he owns you, you threw your head back, sighing in relief of finally being able to get some friction which was soon turned into a mewl as he retracted his fingers, placing the fabric back in its place, he pouted at your sound, he thought that was cute, he placed his fingers in his mouth tasting your arousal, then kissing you, moaning as you taste yourself. You felt his fingers on your clit, moving in slow motion over the fabric, he's teasing, "Ten please" you breathed out.

"Take what I'm giving you princess, you don't wanna argue"

You bite your lower lip moving your hips in sync with his fingers, trying to get the most out of it, though he is doing the barest minimum right now you're still getting closer to the edge, all that 'beg for it' took a toll on you, it would be embarrassing if you came just yet but then you didn't really cared, he pressed his long slender finger against your nub, applying the slightest of pressure. His fingers were moving in delicious circles driving you closer to your release, with his mouth working wonders on your sensitive neck and his fingers spelling magic on your clit you were closer than ever, two more flicks of his fingers and you would've been coming undone in his arms but he chose to stop, his hand above your head leaves your hands, "ten why did you stop??" You cry out breathing heavily. He smiled. He fucking smiled.

"You wanna cum, baby?" Ten asks with such a sweet voice, what is wrong with this guy today? He cups you face gently stroking your cheek with his thumb, your hair a beautiful mess, lips swollen from the kissing and neck decorated with all shades of red, "You need to answer baby." He nudges his knee between your leg seeking any response from you, you let out a whiny yes griding your mound against his skin, he hums as you seek his approval looking him in the eye, you hold onto his shirt while he holds you by your waist guiding your movement, setting a steady pace, you rest your head on the wall, eyes closed, body focused on catching your release, Ten lowers his head sucking at your jaw, leaving sloppy kisses down you neck then blowing over it, the cold sensation adding up to your pleasure, "You like it like this, don't you? Look at yourself, grinding on me for your dear life." the knot in your stomach tightens again and you move faster, "Such a good girl for me, so desperate to get yourself off on my thigh, aren't you close already baby..."

"Ten... am- close..." grinding your hips faster unable to catch your breath but you couldn't care less about that. Heart racing faster and faster, mouth parted in an O, eyes closed shut, that familiar feeling of euphoria almost clouding your brain, you were so close, again, and it was taken away from you, again.

Ten withdrew his leg from between your legs, hands leaving your face in a blink of an eye, before you could register what has happened your voice comes out begging, "Ten- please no!" your hand simultaneously goes to your pussy rubbing yourself over the thin fabric of ur undie, he slaps your hand away and your pinned against the wall, he comes in closer to your face, "you can't fucking touch yourself without my permission, do you understand?" His eyes digging daggers on your skin, "don't leave me in the midd-" your small voice barely audible, his grip on your hands tightening, "Don't make me fucking repeat myself." His voice deeper and angrier than before, but you don't speak. You just look him in the eye, bad move because now he's pissed. His hands leave yours once again, removing his shirt now he orders you to bring your hands in front, he ties the shirt around your hands making sure the knot was tight but not tight enough, you didn't dare to protest, it was evident in his eyes, he was drop dead serious about this.

Ten motioned you to get on the bed, he got on caging your lower body between his legs, pushing you down on the bed face up, he took your arms from where they were tied, tieing the left over shirt to one of the wooden bars.

Situating himself between your legs, he hooked his fingers in the waistband of your undie pulling it down in one swift motion. Cold air hitting your warmth, shivers run down your spine. He brings his face closer to your pussy, blowing over it, "behave babygirl" raising his brows at you, eyes never leaving yours, hands keeping your legs apart and put, he dips his head low and presses his tongue flat against your warmth, taking a lick from your slit to the to of your nub, suckling it slightly. The feeling of his tongue pressed against your pussy, his plump lips sucking your nub, teeth grazing at it slightly makes you cry out in pleasure, he guides his tongue on your clit, flicking it in random motions, licking it deliciously, making your eyes roll back into your skull, his tongue was working wonders on you but you weren't expecting anything, better not to expect than to be left wanting more, one hand rubbing circles on your thigh, he brings the other one to finger fuck you, diligently easing the first one in, you moan out his name in pleasure, welcoming him inside you, clenching around him showing him how much you appreciate him, he moves his finger in and out of you while licking your pussy, the pace was delightful and so was his tongue, you can feel it coming again, any moment now but you don't show any signs of it afraid he would stop again. He moves his lips away from you, fingers replacing his tongue now moving frantically on you clit, your mouth left open, broken words and sighs of pure bliss flowing out of it, eyes shut tight and back crescent, you were almost hitting your orgasm, but he abruptly stopped. Again.

"Ten no nonono please" you sobbed, bucking your hips up towards him at the loss still pleading him with whatever you can manage to speak, he hovered over you moving to your side resting his head on his arm, his legs trapping your thigh, the free hand moving over your belly, "you think you can fool me, huh?"

His hand lands on your pussy, smack, your whole body twitches in shock, warmth creeping under your skin. And another smack, "Oh god ten-" all the noises you were letting out, the low whimpers and the the breathy cries, the whiny moans were only encouraging him to continue his assault on your pussy, which by the way you were enjoying a lot, the slight sensation of pain the moment he hits you turns into this, exquisite, indefinable feeling of pleasure.

You were begging him not to stop, and he didn't stop this time, rubbing you again with his fingers, this time setting a merciless rhythm, which you were grateful for, a you could remember after that was waves of pleasure pulsating through your body, your heart and breath at an abnormal rate, your pussy clenching around nothing, hands trying to free themselves from the loop only causing them to get bruised, his hands never leave your body, he fingers rubbing your clit harder than ever not giving time to you to recover, your second orgasm hitting you at the speed of light, driving you over edge, he eases 2 fingers inside of you plumping in and out of you, you came so hard you could hear the slick voice as he slammed his fingers in again and again. He grunts lowly when you came for the third time, and no matter how fucked you were out of it, you realised he has been quite, you open your teary eyes when he stopped his hand, watching him watch you as he palms your pussy, helping you ride your orgasms, you look down, the bulge in his boxers wasn't hard to notice but didn't say anything, still breathing heavily you watch him get of the bed, opening the drawer of his table, probably taking out condoms. Ten comes back, removing his boxers, his member standing tall and prode, beads of precum already leaking, he situates himself between your legs, positioning your legs accordingly, your doe eyes looking at him as he tears the condom down and wraps it around himself, the moment his eyes meets yours, you divert your gaze to anything but him, he laughs lowly, hovering over you.

"Don't look away baby, focus on me." You avert your eyes, meeting his, a hint of smile on your face watching him smile at you, he's eyes softer than before, making you feel comfortable. You were a little scared before, but Ten made it safe for you. "You good baby? Wanna continue?" you nod your yes as fast as you could which made him break into laughter, laughing like a little kid all the dominance leaving his aura for a minute. "So needy aren't you?" Ten kisses your nose softly, your cheeks burning at his comment, where's the lie in that though, afterall this was the reason you came in the first place.

Positioning himself along your entrance, he pushes inside of you, your walls welcoming him in, setting his senses ablaze, he curses under his breath, "Fuxk, still so tight," bottoming out, he stills for you to adjust. "Good to go?" He asks for your confirmation, you manage a yea which was turned into a scream because he pulled out and slammed into you so hard you sure were seeing stars and planets and everything else all at once, all the sweetness, the softness he had a second before was all gone, he was banging himself into you hard & fast, your legs wrap around his torso trying to keep yourself in place which you weren't able to under his mercy and also your hands were tied up. Sounds of skin slapping, his low grunts and your breathy moans filled the rooms, a sweet sounding rythmic masterpiece that you both were creating, while fucking.

He sat up, hands on your waist, lifting up your hips a little, fucking you deeper than before. Your hands were starting to ache, you were trying to loosen the grip all while he was fuxking you but you end up only tightening it, "I-I Ten My hand- please-" finally giving in your request, he bends over you, freeing your hands. Your hands instantly wrapping around his body bringing him closers to yours, his head in the crook of your neck, licking and kissing, whispering sweet nothing's in your ear, his pace little less animalistic now. A few thrusts more and you were coming undone again around his cock, convulsing and clenching around him, hugging him close, he kisses you through it but does not slows down, he sits up and fucks you chasing his own high this time. Relentless his movements gets sloppier and he's spilling himself into you, you both breathing harshly tryna catch your breaths while moaning each others names.

He pulls himself out leaving you on the bed, sleep was taking over you when you feel a warm cloth being dragged gently across your heat and thighs. It's ten, looking soft in his pink tee, "oh? did I wake you up" sliding one of his shorts up your legs, "nah, i wasn't sleeping, thanks" you spoke softly, smiling at him. "For what exactly?" he asks with mischievous smile and squinted eyes, you huffed at that, looking up the the ceiling, redness flushing across your neck, only laughing when he laughs at your reaction.

"want water?" you nod sitting up on the bed, as Ten goes to his table filling himself a glass of water, offering you the bottle, while he grabs one of his tshirt, throwing it at you as he lays beside you on the bed. You put on his tshirt, smells like him, it's actually pretty cold in the rooms he likes to set his ac up on high he says it feels good to feel the warmth of the blanket. It's just his small little things, you learned you appreciate a lot. He pulls you into his arms, your head resting on his shoulder, feeling his heart beating kinda calms you down, his hand taking yours in his, carefully massaging your wrists, "Was i too rough baby?"

"I'm not your Baby."

"Uh? Ok ma'am?" He asks contently laughing at your protest playing along.

"I am but like only when your fucking me."

"woah woah woah, one night of me being a lil extra and your already on level 10, damn girl what did I do?"

You laughed at his reply, he always made sure you were praised and encouraged no matter what. He always made you feel, better, somehow. You know what? it's not the sex, it's him you're desperate for, it's him that keeps you wanting more. Its Ten you come back for.

~

A/N: do share your thoughts, if you liked it or not, what couldve been better, or if you have any ideas, advice or wanna request something, it will all be appreciated.

#wayv ten #wayv smut #kpop #nct imagines #wayv imagines #nct drabbles #wayv drabbles #nct fic #wayv fic #nct ten #ten smut #nct ten smut #nct smut #soft dom #ten x reader #nct #fanfic #idol x reader #ten x you #i hope you like it #sorry if this is dumb #sorry if this is cringe

[jina-juhi]

About us~

call me jina,

like to be a loner

infp

21 | she/her

somehow, a med student

love stars and everything cosmic

attempting to write

[jina-juhi]

About this blog

Hello everyone! greetings,

I hope you're safe and sound wherever you are and I wish you good health and happiness. I will post imagines, drabbles, short fics and other things here (mostly 18+). Requests are always open just know that I am not the best writer and English is not my first language, and this is my first time as a writer so pls understand, don't hate me or anyone or anything, no hate allowed here. I do accept constructive criticism.

More than anything I want this place to be a safe place for everyone let's be friends, unless you're a minor (pls don't be here), ask me anything, I would love to talk to all of you. I am not the best person to give advices but I will listen.

[I would only write for the idols I know, because it's only natural, how can I write for someone that I do not know about.]

What i prefer writing :

I write for male idol × female reader. If we talk about Dom sub topics, I prefer writing for Dom idol × sub reader.

#about me #kpop #fanfic #fiction #aesthetic #i dont really know #first time #writing