my-moony-and-padfoot

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

I should stop scrolling on Tumblr before bed

This shit never ends well lol

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

I feel like deleting every single thing I've ever written

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

I just love how some people read one fic and then read like 20 more

It warms my heart to see the same name pop up in the email about kudos or notifications from Tumblr

I'm just omg you liked it!!! And that one too???

Warms my tiny heart <3

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

Promise to never die

Word count: 2 300

TW: implied character death, nothing graphic but it just is there.

Also, muggle au :) Set after their days in school

Sirius looked at the photo album in his hands, full of happy memories, full of love. It was black leather, worn out from years of use and dusty from sitting on a shelf. It was one of the few that he had, but this one was the oldest, it meant the most. He hadn't opened it in a while, though. He couldn't muster up the courage or strength to open it and flip through the pages, he hadn't done it to any of them. He just let them sit on the shelf, collecting dust.

He felt arms wrap around his waist, chin hooking over his shoulder. “It's okay.” Remus whispered into his ear, his voice was thick with sleep, making Sirius feel bad for waking him. Sirius nodded, taking in a deep, shaky breath, looking down at the book and Remus' arms. They were holding him close just atop the waistband of his pyjama bottoms, rubbing small circles into his hip underneath the jumper he was wearing. “Let's go back to bed.”

“Can't sleep.”

“That's okay.”

Sirius reached up to slide the album back into its place on the bookshelf, then he turned around to look at Remus. He smiled sadly, wiping away the tears that were trailing down Sirius' cheeks, he wrapped his arms around Remus' neck, hiding his face into his chest. “Promise to never die.” he whispered after a moment of silence, pulling back from the hug so he could look at Remus who gave him a sympathetic smile, rubbing his back for a moment. “Remus please…”

“You know I can't promise that, love.” Sirius just sniffled in response, looking down as the tears fell, trailing down his cheeks before Remus could wipe them away. “But, I'll try my best.” He nodded, leaning back against him, feeling safe in the warm embrace. “Let’s go to bed, you need sleep, baby.”

“No.”

“At least come lay down with me, please?” He asked, brushing his hand through Sirius’ hair, frowning as he shook his head, sniffling quietly. “I don't want you to be sad all by yourself.”

“Then don't go away.”

“I’m here. I don't think I could even go with the way you're clinging onto me.”

“Sorry.” he whispered, letting go of Remus, wiping his eyes before glancing up at him.

“Hey no, you know that's not what I meant.” He whispered. “I don't wanna go anywhere, I was just joking, love. I want to be here with you. Come to bed with me, please?”

“Okay.”

…

Remus woke up around four in the morning, reaching for Sirius so he could pull him close and try to fall back to sleep, but he was met with an empty space and cold sheets. He sat up, looking around confusedly before getting up from bed in search of his boyfriend. He walked to the living room, but Sirius wasn't there. But he found him in the kitchen, sitting on a counter that was right next to a window.

He wasn't sure if Sirius noticed him coming into the kitchen, if he did, he didn't show it. “What are you doing, baby?” He asked quietly, leaning against the doorframe. He just watched Sirius shrug and pull one of his knees up to his chest, leaning his chin into it. He walked over to him, smiling as Sirius glanced at him, giving him a small smile. “Why are you awake?”

“Can't sleep.” He mumbled, sniffling quietly as he looked away again. “You can go to bed though.”

“I don't want to if you're not.” Remus whispered, brushing a strand of hair behind his ear. He could see Sirius' eyes slowly fill with tears through the reflection in the dark window. “Can you come back to bed with me?”

Sirius shook his head. “Do you- do you think they can see us?”

“I don't know, baby.” He whispered. “Maybe they're out there somewhere, watching over us. I hope they are.” He nodded, glancing up at Remus, making sure he was close enough so he could lean against him. He smiled slightly as Remus' arm wrapped around him, rubbing his side gently. “Is that why you're sitting out here?”

“Yeah.” He breathed out. “Can't see a thing, though. Too dark.” He said, sounding bitter and sad at the same time, making Remus frown slightly leaning to kiss his head.

“Maybe tomorrow night.” Remus whispered into his hair. “Supposed to be less cloudy.”

“Okay.”

“Wanna come back to bed with me? We've got work in the morning.” Sirius shook his head. “Okay, then.”

“You can-”

“No.” He whispered, interrupting him. “Gonna stay with you, if you let me.” Sirius nodded, closing his eyes for a moment as he leaned more against Remus. They stayed there for a while, eventually ending cuddled up on their sofa, watching the sunrise through their big living room window.

…

The next week or two went by like this, Remus would wake up in the middle of the night or too early in the morning to cold sheets beside him. His boyfriend no longer laying there, though he had been there when they went to bed. Then, he'd get up and find Sirius from various corners of their flat, living room watching some show with the volume, so low Remus was sure he didn't even hear it. Sometimes he was on their balcony, sitting in the freezing cold weather, looking up at the stars. Once he was even reorganizing and cleaning their kitchen at five in the morning.

Each time, Remus would ask what he was doing, and Sirius would answer with something simple and obvious like, cleaning the kitchen. When he asked what was wrong, he hardly ever got the answer, it was just shrugged off. He knew what was wrong, but Sirius didn't want to say it, neither of them did, it was easier not to talk about it. He would always ask Sirius to come back to bed with him, but every time he resisted, saying he couldn't sleep. Then they talked, Sirius asking some weird question that made his heart hurt, and Remus couldn't do anything but kiss his head and try to comfort him somehow.

Every so often he'd stay to sit with him. They watched the sunrise with steaming mugs of tea and blankets to keep them warm in the autumn breeze. He helped Sirius with cleaning out random drawers in their kitchen; they ended up spending the whole day cleaning every nook and cranny they could possibly find in their flat. Some nights he managed to convince Sirius to come back to bed with him, they'd cuddle up together, eventually falling back to sleep. The mornings after those nights, when Remus woke up, he felt relieved when he found Sirius still sleeping beside him and not somewhere trying to spend all his built-up anxious energy.

They never talked about it though, not once did Remus mention what had happened, or what they had talked about. He didn't because Sirius seemed to be in a good mood when he had gotten through those early hours of the morning. He smiled, giving Remus a soft kiss before he rolled out of bed and made them both breakfast. It was weird, it was as if all the sadness, grief, and anxiety that came out during the night was replaced by this happy energy, a good mood that nothing could ruin. Not until the evening came and got more quiet and reserved, then they went to bed and Remus would wake up without Sirius.

Even though Sirius seemed happy during the day, Remus could see through it. He was covering up all the pain, smiling it away until he couldn't. He wasn't sleeping, at most he got two to four hours of sleep, and it was wearing him down. He had dark circles under his eyes, only further highlighted by his pale skin. He constantly had a cup of coffee or tea within reach, fuelling himself up on caffeine to keep himself going. Remus could see the sad expressions, trembling hands, and shaky breaths when he tried to hold back tears that he refused to let fall. It was slowly breaking him down.

It broke his heart to see Sirius destroy himself like this, and there was nothing he could really do. He didn't want to push Sirius into something he wasn't ready for, talking being one of them. He didn't want to and Remus respected that boundary, maybe he'd talk when he was ready. But he felt so helpless, he couldn't do anything but tell Sirius /it's okay when it didn't feel like it and provide him with all the comfort he possibly could.

It was a night just like all the previous ones, he woke up to a weird feeling and a lack of warmth without his boyfriend sleeping either cuddled up with him or beside him. So he got up, stretching out as he made his way out of their bedroom, finding Sirius quickly, he was sitting on the floor, leaning against a bookcase that sat right next to the sofa. He had the photo album laying on his lap, it wasn't open, but it just was there.

“Hey, baby.” He whispered quietly, Sirius glanced up at him, giving him a small smile, then looked back down at the album. Remus sat down next to him, taking his hand into his and intertwining their fingers together, Sirius leaned his head on Remus' shoulder, closing his eyes for a moment. “What-”

“Why aren't you sad?” He asked quietly, interrupting the question he had heard at least a thousand times by now, or that's at least what it felt like. “I don't understand. It's like you've moved on? But how- I'm still so… so sad. I don't understand Rem.”

“I haven't.” Remus whispered into Sirius' hair, kissing his head before continuing. “I'm still sad, and grieving. I think about them every single day, love. But it's different for everyone, isn't it? Everyone deals with loss differently.”

“I guess yeah.” He whispered. “I don't wanna be sad, though. I really don't.”

“I don't either.” Remus said. “But it takes time, it'll get better eventually.”

“When?” He asked brokenly, tears starting to well up in his eyes. “When does it get better?”

“I don't know, love.” It was silent then, both of them taking a moment to calm down. Sirius quickly wiped his eyes with his sleeves, then he lifted his head, looking at Remus. He smiled sadly, wiping away the tears that were trailing down his cheeks then leaned to give him a soft kiss. “I love you.” He whispered, leaning his forehead against Sirius'.

“I love you.” Sirius whispered back before laying his head back down onto Remus’ shoulder. “M’sorry I keep you awake.” He mumbled after a moment. “I don't mean to- I just can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes I can't stop seeing this- Just can't sleep.”

“It's okay, I don't mind being awake.” He said, rubbing small circles into his wrist with his thumb in an attempt to make him feel better. “Not if it's for you.”

Sirius smiled for a moment. “I'm so tired.”

“I know. I'm too.”

They fell silent for a moment, just sitting there on the floor of their living room, there was no light except for the small side table lamp that had been switched on. The curtains were drawn closed, blocking out most of the possible noise that came from outside. After a while, Remus reached for the album that was laying on Sirius' lap, he let go of his hand so he could wrap his arm around Sirius and pull him a bit closer.

“How about we flip through this together?” Remus asked quietly, leaning his head against Sirius'. “Makes it easier, yeah?”

“Yeah.” He whispered, waiting for Remus to open the book, he couldn't find himself to do that. It felt like too much of a task. Remus opened it, holding it up so they could both see clearly, the first picture was a group photo of them, him, Sirius, James, and Peter. They were all smiling, arms around each other. It had been taken in front of their school building sometime during winter when they were around 16. “Where do you reckon Pete is now?”

“I don't know. We should maybe call him sometime, catch up.” Sirius nodded, looking down at the picture, he smiled at the memory.

“Do you-” He trailed off, trying to form sensible words off of his scrambled up thoughts. “Do you think he knows? Y'know, about…”

“I don't know, maybe he does.” Sirius nodded, reaching to turn the page, somehow finding strength in realising there wasn't anything bad in this album, only happy memories from their school days. The next pictures in the book were various pictures of different parties they had thrown and been in, pictures of all of their friends taken when they didn't know. Photos of them doing random things, dates and all of these other memories that were long forgotten by now. It made them both smile and laugh when they remembered what had happened before or after taking a particular picture. There was a series of pictures where Mary had thrown cake at Remus for no real reason, and it ended up with a picture of all of them covered more or less in frosting.

Towards the end of the album there were pictures of lily and Remus being hidden behind piles and piles of books and papers when their final exams neared. Similar ones of him and James sleeping on said books, playing chess and bothering their partners instead of studying. The last few pages were designated for their graduation pictures, all of them in a group photo, all smiling, and laughing at each other, Sirius was pretty sure one of their teachers had actually taken that picture.

When they had gotten through the first one, Remus got up, only to reach for the other two, watching as Sirius smiled at him when he showed the books to him. He leaned back against Remus when he sat down next to him, opening the next one. There was a picture of him and Remus sitting on top of a few moving boxes, sharing a kiss. It had been taken on the first day they had moved into their flat, Lily had taken the picture and James had come to shove them off after it had been taken.

There were pictures of James' and Lily's wedding, more group photos at different places and things they had been to. There were long gaps between some photos, but they had tried to put them in a chronological order as best as they could, but some of them were in the wrong place. Then there were pictures of little baby Harry, all of their friends happy and taking turns holding him. It brought out a lot of memories, both of them feeling happy as they saw these again.

The last album was mainly pictures of the last year, though it ended halfway through, the last picture was from Halloween. There was Harry, wearing a little ghost costume made from an old sheet, holding a pumpkin bucket in his hands, James and Lily standing behind him, Lily was dressed up as a cat while James was a pirate. On James' side stood Remus and Sirius, dressed up as the big bad wolf and red riding hood, Peter was there too who was in a police costume. On the other side, standing next to Lily were Marlene and Mary who was a zombie and Marlene who had created a skeleton costume for herself. They were all happy and smiling. It was the last time they had all gotten together, last time they had all been happy together.

A/N:

Hello :), hopefully we liked this one, I really liked writing this.

If you find any of these slash signs (/) or whatever the fuck it is, the text after that is meant to be like this I just missed that one

Have a nice day/night/morning and remember to take care of yourself <3

<3

#sirius black #remus lupin #sirius orion black #remus john lupin #wolfstar #remus x sirius #sirius x remus #marauders #fluff #wolfstar angst #fluff and angst #angst #hurt/comfort #comfort

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

We should talk

Starchaser :)

Word count: 2 300

TW: Nothing much? It's a bit angsty and they talk about the dark mark so I guess if you don't wanna read that then don't

He watched as James' eyes slowly filled with tears, his gaze flicking between his eyes and arm, then he closed them, but still; he didn't say anything. And Regulus felt he might suffocate if he didn't hear him speak soon, he needed to hear something, just something, he wanted to hear his voice. Needed to. James took a deep shaky breath in, and let it slowly out as he leaned his head on his hands, opening his eyes and looking back at Regulus who was still standing in front of him.

“Say something.” He whispered, almost wanting to take a step back at the look he got from James, then he looked back down at the mark on his arm, taking another deep breath. “Anything, James. Please.”

“I got nothing to say.” His voice sounded oddly calm, and Regulus was taken by surprise. He looked angry and disappointed and betrayed, but so calm at the same time. “Absolutely nothing.”

He nodded to himself, starting to feel uncomfortable under his gaze, like he was slowly being studied inch by inch. Like all his secrets were revealed, which they pretty much were, but he felt so bare, and like James was staring straight into his soul, tearing it up into pieces. He rolled down his sleeves, folding his arms on his chest, looking down.

“I can't believe you.” He whispered after a while. “How can you-?” He trailed off, like he was unable to say the words, he just closed his eyes again, trying his best to stop the tears from falling.

“No-no you don't understand, I didn't want to. James I promise it's not-” he said quickly, needing James to believe him. “It's not what it looks like, I swear, it's not.”

“Am I supposed to believe that?”

“James, I didn't want this. I've told you, haven't I? How they were going to- you know there's no saying no to them, they do what they want. You know that.” He said. “Seriously, I didn't want it, never. If it were up to me, I'd never. But you know-”

“Stop telling me what I know.” He said, finally looking Regulus in the eyes, he looked sad, and betrayed. “Just go away.”

His eyes widened. “Jamie -”

“Don't fucking call me that.” He interrupted, and Regulus took a step back again. He had never heard James being so angry, he had never seen him like this, and it felt like a stab straight into his heart. “Go away Regulus. I- I need to think.”

“I'm sorry.” He whispered before turning around and slipping out of James' dorm room, quickly making his way out of the Gryffindor tower not stopping when his name was called. It was Sirius. He made his way down to his own common room, this time stopping when his name was called, he turned to look at the sofa where Barty and Evan were, both looking at him worriedly.

“Everything alright, Reggie?” He nodded, managing a small smile. “You sure? You don't -”

“Everything's good.” He said, disappearing into his dorm, not bothering to listen to what else they had to say. Once the door was closed he basically fell on the floor, his back against the door, pulling his knees up to his chest.

This was never supposed to happen. Never. He had never wanted to take the mark, and that's what he wanted to explain, and he needed for James to listen, but he hadn't, he didn't get a chance to explain himself. Though he was sure it would do nothing, there was no way he was going to get out of this mess.

He didn't want to lose James, he just couldn't but that just seemed inevitable, James would hate him. He had every right to, of course he did, he had done something horrible, something unforgivable, but maybe this was better than lying to him. Maybe it was for the better, though he wasn't sure for who, but maybe it was.

Regulus heard knocks on his door and someone calling his name, but he just held his hands over his ears, hoping they'd stop soon. He didn't want to talk, or see other people. He just wanted to be alone, maybe forever. He could only hope it wasn't over with them, or that he hadn't completely ruined everything, but he was sure he had. It wasn't his fault, he knew that. But it felt like it.

He hoped he had been able to resist his parents, that he could tell them no. That he could've done the same thing Sirius had done and just left. But he felt like he couldn't do that, like he was tied down, tied down to that house, their bloodline, their beliefs, and their ideas. He knew it wasn't right, that it wasn't something he believed in and wanted to follow, but like he was made to. Which he was.

He had tried to forget the night he had gotten the mark, he had tried to fight them forever, that he didn't want to. But they made it happen anyway. He did not have a choice, of course he didn't. He wished, more than anything, that he could've done something differently, fought harder and been braver so he could've just left it all behind.

…

He didn't sleep well. He just lied there staring at the ceiling, horrible thoughts plaguing his mind. If he fell asleep, he woke up a few hours later to a nightmare, unable and unwilling to fall back to sleep. He couldn't even focus on reading to make the early hours go by quicker, he'd just have to lay there, getting lost in his thoughts. Maybe that was fair?

Regulus avoided being outside of his dorm, he didn't want to see all those people. Especially not James, it hurt him so much every time he even caught a glance of the boy, he just couldn't face it. He didn't want to see Sirius either, every time he saw his brother in the corridors, he always looked so irritated with him. So, he just quickly ran to his classes and back to his dorm, only going to the great hall when his friends forced him to.

There was no one bothering him outside or in the more abandoned parts of the castle, so he often went to those places during nights and early mornings. He could be alone in peace, even the thoughts seemed to leave him be for a moment. Usually, it was the astronomy tower, he could look over the grounds and look at the stars on clear nights. But sometimes he wandered down to the edge of the forbidden forest, trying to distract himself with something to do.

After another sleepless night, he slowly got up from bed and made his way down to the quidditch pitch for an early morning practice. He wasn't really feeling like playing, but he was the only seeker they had so he did it anyway.

Towards the end of practice he almost fell off of his broom when he saw James sitting in the stands. He wasn't in his gear nor did he have his broom with him, so he couldn't be waiting for Gryffindor's practice to start. But he wasn't really looking at their team either, focusing on something else, though Regulus was too far away to actually see.

He was glad practice ended soon, and he couldn't stop thinking about the fact that James was sitting in the stands as he took a quick shower and changed out of his quidditch gear. It made him anxious, he wanted to talk, but he didn't want to be yelled at or for James to get mad at him. He just hoped that James wasn't here to tell him he wanted nothing to do with him anymore, that their relationship would be over. It was the last thing he wanted. When everyone had left, and he made his way up to the stands hoping James was still there.

“Hey,” He whispered when he made his way over, James looked up, smiling slightly as he closed the journal that was on his lap. He leaned against the railing, crossing his arms at his chest, letting his broom lean against the bench. “Why are you here?” He asked quietly, looking around, trying to avoid eye contact with him.

“I thought we should talk.” James looked hurt, just like he had on that night a few weeks ago. He looked hurt and tired, and he could just hope James wouldn't get mad at him. He had every right to, but Regulus just hoped it wouldn't happen. “This is the only place I thought I could find you.”

He smiled momentarily. “We don't have to talk if you don't want to.”

“I know,” James whispered. “But I want to. If you do too.” Regulus nodded. “What happened? Like what actually happened?” He asked quietly, looking at him.

“T-they made me get the- the um mark.” He said, hugging himself tighter as he looked down. “I didn't want to, but they- you can't say no to them. I promise I didn't want it…” James just nodded as Regulus took a break to wipe his eyes. “I don't believe in that shit, they're just horrible and I couldn't say no. But I promise I- James I didn't want it. I'd never. I'm sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?”

“Everything.” He whispered brokenly, more tears falling down as he looked away, trying to take a deep breath, letting out a quiet sob when James wrapped his arms around him. “I'm so s-sorry.”

“Shh, don't be sorry. It's okay.” Regulus nodded, hesitantly wrapping his arms around James' neck, hoping he wouldn't leave. “I’m sorry for not believing you.” He whispered, voice wavering with tears. “I've missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.” He said, looking up at him. James smiled even though there were tears in his eyes, Regulus reached to wipe them away with his sleeve when they fell down. “So much.”

He rose up to his tiptoes, looking him in the eyes, James gave him the smallest of nods, and closed the short distance between them; kissing him softly. It was short, but it meant so much. Everything would be okay. When they pulled away, Regulus wrapped his arms back around his neck, hiding his face back to his chest. James held him close in return, burying his face into Regulus' hair, breathing in the comforting scent.

“Why aren't you mad at me?” He asked quietly after a moment of silence, pressing himself closer as if to make sure James wouldn’t leave. “You should be…”

“But I'm not.” James whispered softly, rubbing his back to try to comfort him the best he could. “I hope you're not mad at me either.” Regulus shook his head quickly, mumbling something quietly though James didn't really catch what it was. “Let's talk later, yeah? Just wanna be with you.”

“Want to be with you too.” Regulus smiled, lifting his head to look up at him. “I'm so tired.”

“Have you slept?” Regulus shook his head. “Me neither.” He whispered, rubbing his side gently. “My dorm is empty, wanna go there, sleep a little?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, pulling away from James' hold to look at him better. “It's fucking freezing out here.”

James laughed, taking Regulus' hand into his before starting to walk towards the castle. “How did you know where I was?” He asked after a moment of walking in silence.

“I just looked at the schedule.” He smiled, and Regulus hummed. “And, you hardly ever skip practice, so it's not too hard to find you.”

“I didn't wanna go today.”

“I'm glad you did though.” James whispered, smiling as Regulus glanced at him. “Why didn't you want to go?”

“Didn't feel like it.” He whispered. “But I'm the only seeker we have, the back-up broke her leg or something I- gotta do it.”

“Why don't you wanna play?”

“I'm just tired.” He whispered, glancing at James who nodded as the walked through the castle doors, starting to walk up to James' dorm. “Also, our captain changed and he fucking sucks.”

“Yeah, I heard.”

They fell silent after that, but it wasn't an uncomfortable one, they just were silent for the rest of the walk. It felt nice to finally be with each other, even a simple gesture like holding hands made both of them feel so much better, and cared for. Everything would be okay in the end, they'd be okay.

“I’m so tired.” Regulus complained as they climbed into bed, and he could cuddle up with him. He rested his head on James' chest curling up against his side with one of his legs thrown over James' while he pulled the blanket over them, wrapping his arms around Regulus. “Are you comfortable?”

“Always with you.” He smiled, kissing his head, laughing quietly as Regulus hit his arm. “Yeah, I'm comfortable, don't worry.”

“Good, ‘cause I'm not moving.”

“Don't have to.” He whispered, starting to play with his hair. He felt better than he had in weeks, he felt safe and comforted in James' warm embrace. He had really missed this, missed the feeling of being close to him, of feeling loved. James felt it too, it felt like he could finally sleep in peace, with no worries or fears. He could be sure that Regulus wouldn't disappear, he'd still be there when they'd wake up, he'd still be there, laying in his arms, curls messily spread on his chest. “Reggie?”

“Mhm?”

“I love you.” James whispered softly, watching as Regulus lifted his head to look at him, smiling sleepily as he leaned in to give him a kiss.

“I love you too.” He whispered against his lips, giving him another kiss before laying his head back down. “Now, shut up, I wanna sleep.” James laughed, kissing his head before taking off his glasses and laying his head more comfortable on the pillow. They started to slowly drift off to sleep, both feeling happy and safe to finally be in each other's arms.

A/N:

Hellooo, hope you're well and liked this little thing, I finally got a starchaser fic written and it was so fun to write them for a change. I should probably do it more

I feel like James could not stand seeing Regulus cry, it would just break something inside him, y'know? No that's not a reason to leave out the majority of the conversation that I don't wanna write. I swear it's not

Anyway, I hoped you liked it and found it even somewhat enjoyable to read. See you around maybe somewhere sometime? Have a good the rest of your day/night/morning :)

<3

#regulus black #james potter #regulus arcturus black #james fleamont potter #starchaser #marauders #marauders era #fluff #fluffy ending #angst with a happy ending #fluff and angst #angst #death eaters #the dark mark #comfort #hurt/comfort

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

Y'know, sometimes I feel bad because of the way I write and describe things, and it's not because I mostly write angst, but because of the way I write characters. Especially when it's not the typical way or complies with canon, which happens to be most of the time, because that's the way I think about this characters

Maybe I feel like this because on my late night scrolls of my Tumblr feed, I see a lot of people talking about the way other people write. Like we shouldn't feminize certain characters, or give them some personality traits that "don't fit them". And yeah, I understand this when it's overly done, tacky or done in a discriminating way.

One example of this is writing Sirius as a short person because canonically he's tall. Like what does it really matter? Besides, I think it's much cuter that way, and I don't really understand what's the problem with making changes like this. Especially when we are talking about fictional characters

And some people are really mad about this, like why? I thought we all knew that if you don't like it, don't read it. I totally understand this when there's a reason to get angry or upset, but when it's just the way someone writes or decides to portray a certain character I don't understand and can't get behind it. Maybe it's just me though?

The reason why this makes me feel bad is because I probably write that way. Well, I know I write that way most of the time. I don't really care about canon that much, for me it's just a vague guideline, and I hate ends where everything doesn't go well, and don't really see a problem with that. I write like that because I enjoy reading it myself. So why shouldn't I? That's what fanfic is about after all, isn't it?

I've lately been going back to my older fics and reading them, and I see all these "mistakes" which aren't really mistakes. I did it intentionally, I wrote it, and now I read it and I notice the thing I did "wrong" but I don't think it's wrong?

I feel like writing characters differently, or writing something that isn't canon, just makes it better, and gives the characters more depth. But again, maybe that's just me.

Maybe I just don't understand why we're fighting (or getting mad) about dead gay wizards from the 70s

I don't know why I wrote this, just came to mind this morning when I woke up way too early. And I know it doesn't really matter what I say, but I just want to share my thoughts, cause why not?

<3

#fanfic writing #fanfic #fic writing #writing #dead gay wizards #is it just me #maybe?

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

So you're pansexual, right? *Smiles

Yes...?

*Tries not to laugh

What-

*Tries not to laugh again

What is your favorite kitchenware?

I don't know, fucking pots?

Not pans?

No not pans...

So, you are attracted to pans?

Nah

What's your favorite type of pan?

Bitch what?

Why do I keep having this conversation over and over again. With the same people?

Though, I am not annoyed by this. Well, sometimes I am. Most of the time not. But still, why

My favorite type of pan is a wok pan btw

I made this while procrastinating studying for my math exam (because I'm totally not failing math) Why did I post this, that's a different question for a different time

(I felt like it, okay?)

(I thought it was funny)

#pansexual

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

Black in my bed at three

#sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #capcut #edit

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

I slept for ELEVEN and A HALF hours and I'm STILL TIRED

What the actual fuck

How? Why?

#i dont like this #why

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

Even like this?

Word count: 1 700

It's quite depressing but nothing graphic :)

Remus closed the door behind himself, kicked off his shoes, dropped his bag by the door, hung his jacket on the hook and stepped further into their small apartment. He didn't get far until he stopped, only to the doorway. He saw Sirius laying on the floor of their living room, on a hardwood floor curled up on his side, right next to the soft rug.

“Hi love.” He whispered, walking closer. Sirius opened his eyes, watching as Remus walked over to him, first getting down on his knees, then shifting so he was laying down beside him. “Why are we on the floor?”

“It's comfy.” He whispered, voice hoarse like it hadn't been used in days. “You shouldn't- back always gets worse.”

“It's okay.” He smiled, reaching to brush a curl behind his ear, looking Sirius in the eyes. The grey looked darker than usual, he could see all the pain and hurt in them, all the anxiety and discomfort. It looked like a storm, wind whistling loudly, dark grey clouds filling up the sky, just waiting for the water to fall. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, but dropped his gaze, though looked back at Remus when he cupped his cheek, gently caressing it. “I'm okay.”

“It's okay if you're not.” Remus whispered, watching as the storm calmed down slowly, eyes softening ever so slightly. It was a subtle change, something no one would notice, something so insignificant that it wasn't worth paying attention to. But for Remus, it was worth it, it was significant, it mattered. You could tell so much by just someone's eyes, and no one ever pays enough attention to it. He frowned slightly as a tear dripped down, it fell in the same way Sirius' guard did whenever he was with Remus, he could let it fall without shame.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don't be.” He said quietly, reaching for Sirius' hand, intertwining their fingers together once he gave it to him. He laid down on his back, smiling as Sirius took in the silent invitation to move closer and lay his head on Remus' chest, throwing one of his legs over Remus'. He closed his eyes when he felt himself be wrapped up in his arms, his safe place.

“I'm so tired.”

“I know, baby.” He whispered into his hair, rubbing his side over the worn out jumper. It was the kind of tiredness that sleep didn't help, no matter how much he slept or didn't, he'd still be tired. Even though he knew it didn't help, all he wanted to do was sleep, it was the only way he could get away from all the thoughts. Except when they followed him all the way to his dreams. Nowhere to run from them, nowhere to hide, he was left there laying on their bed, woken up from a nightmare, too tired and scared to sleep again. Sometimes he found the courage to wake Remus up like he had asked him to do countless times. Sometimes he didn't but just got closer to him, getting wrapped up in the warm embrace once again, hoping he could have better dreams when his eyes shut again without his permission.

It was quiet, he could only hear the clock ticking away quietly in the kitchen, it had bothered him for hours, but now it had blended into the background. He heard Remus’ slow, deep breathing and steady heartbeat right under his ear. It made Sirius feel even safer, just knowing he was there. Knowing he was with him and wouldn't go anywhere. It was just them in their own little bubble where nothing bad could ever happen.

His hip ached from however long he had already laid there, he wasn't sure how long it had been, an hour? Maybe two. He wasn't sure, but he didn't want to get up, no matter how much it hurt. Though, it didn't hurt that much anymore, that too had turned into a dull buzz that just was there, but didn't bother him that much anymore. His shoulder hurt too, but now that he wasn't lying on it anymore it wasn't as bad, the change in position had definitely helped.

“Should we go to bed?” Remus asked after a while, playing with his hair, slowly swirling it around his finger and combing his hand through. Sirius blinked his eyes open, slightly startled at the voice, before remembering it was only Remus. He shook his head after a moment of thinking, pressing himself closer as if to prevent him from getting up and leaving him alone. “Why not, baby?”

“I've been there the whole day.” He whispered, closing his eyes again. “And yesterday, and the day before.”

“How about we move to the sofa then, y'know it's much comfier than this floor.” Sirius shook his head again.

“Have to?”

“No, not if you don't want to.” He nodded. “We'll get up when you're ready, yeah? When you want, I've got nowhere to be, but here with you.” Sirius nodded again, feeling more at ease. “Do you wanna talk?”

“No.”

“You sure?”

“I don't know.”

“Okay.” He whispered, kissing his head. “I'm here if you wanna talk, anytime, love. Always here for you.”

Sirius hummed, getting lost into his thoughts again. He didn't remember why he had even laid down onto the floor in the first place, he remembered getting out of bed and maybe taking his meds, and then he was on the floor. It was like the past few hours had just disappeared, like time had only started running at normal speed when Remus came home. Before that, it had either gone way too slowly or too fast, anything but the normal speed.

He wanted to talk, it would probably help, but he didn't know what to talk about. He wasn't sure what was wrong. It felt like everything and nothing was wrong at the same time. He was tired and anxious, but he wasn't sure why, he just was. There just were these random anxiety inducing thoughts floating around, no way to let them out. They were just stuck, piling on each other, making it all worse. So, he thought it would be easier not to say anything, he didn't want to bother Remus with these lost random thoughts that barely made any sense.

But, whatever it was, it made him so incredibly sad, and he couldn't even tell why. The feeling was slowly suffocating him, it felt hard to breathe, and he could feel himself trying to catch his breath. It brought tears to his eyes, but he wouldn't let them fall. He could feel them burn in the corners of his eyes, but he just couldn't let them go. The task of holding the tears back felt almost impossible, it was so overwhelming, and it felt like the dam would break from the smallest poke at it. It would fall and crumble into pieces without-

“You can cry, Sirius. If you need to” Remus whispered quietly, gently caressing his cheek. That was it, that was all it needed for it to break. It felt impossible to hold the emotion back after that, the tears just fell without his permission. Sirius still shook his head, he didn't want to cry. “It's okay, baby. I'm here, right here with you.”

“Don't want to”

“I know, love. But sometimes we need to let it out, yeah? Doesn't do any good to bottle it all up, does it?” Sirius shook his head, more tears spilling out as he hid his face more into Remus' chest. “Shh, it's okay, there you go. Just let it out, sweetheart.”

“I-I’m sorry.”

“No, shh. Don't be. Nothing to say sorry for.” He whispered, playing with his hair slowly. “It’s all okay, baby.”

“Breathe love.” He whispered, running his hand down his side, then back up again, hoping to help him calm down his breathing. It took a while until he calmed down, the tears slowly dried away and his breathing wasn't as fast anymore. “Feeling better?”

Sirius shook his head, wiping away the tears with his sleeve, sniffling quietly. “Sorry.”

“It's okay, baby, don't say sorry. You don't have to feel better, it's okay if you don't.” Sirius nodded slightly. “Anything I can do to help?”

“Don't go.”

“Wasn't planning on it. Don't worry.” Remus whispered, kissing his head. “I'm here. Always here for you.” It was quiet again for a while, Sirius taking a bit more time to calm down before slowly sitting up, looking at Remus. “Wanna go to bed?”

“Yeah.”

Remus smiled, getting up from the floor and offering his hand for Sirius to help him up, he smiled, letting himself be pulled up and led to their bedroom. “Moony?” Remus hummed, turning to look at him. “Can I have your jumper?”

“If you want.” He smiled, handing Sirius' favourite jumper to him. He pressed it up to his face before pulling off his hoodie and changing into the jumper, then he climbed into bed, getting under the covers. He smiled slightly when Remus climbed in next to him, and he could cuddle up to him.

“I feel so bad.” Sirius whispered after a moment of silence. “I don't even know what it is- it just hurts. It's stupid. I don't like it. Make it go away, rem. Just make it go away.”

“You know I would. I'd take all the pain from you, if I just could.” He said quietly, brushing his hand through Sirius' hair. “I love you, baby. More than you know.”

“Even like this?”

“Especially like this, love.” Remus whispered, kissing his forehead when Sirius lifted his head to look at him. “Love you so much.”

“I love you too.” He said. “Don't go away.” Sirius whispered as he rested his head back down, hiding his face into Remus' neck. “Ever.”

“I'm here, baby. Won't go anywhere.” Sirius nodded, smiling slightly as Remus pulled the blanket better over them. “Try to sleep, yeah? I'll be here if you wake up. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, rem.”

A/N:

What did we think? Hopefully you liked it :)

See you around somewhere maybe, have a nice day/night

<3

#sirius black #sirius orion black #remus lupin #remus john lupin #marauders #remus x sirius #sirius x remus #wolfstar #wolfstar angst #wolfstar fic #fluff #fluff and angst #angst #tw depressing thoughts

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

Please tell me it's not only me

Often when I come up with ideas for my fics it's when I'm trying to sleep. It just pops out of nowhere into my head

I'm laying there on my bed really sleepy with my bunny trying to fall asleep and then my brain is just. Hey, what do you think about this? Yeah yeah cool idea we'll look into it in the morning.

Nah. Nuh uh. No This would be a great way to describe these feelings, Oh what a perfect piece of dialogue

I open my eyes and stare at the wall for a moment, fucking hell. I turn around and pick up my phone and start to write, then after like five minutes I realize, heyyy y'know this is gonna take a while so I turn on a podcast or music and stay up another hour or two JUST BECAUSE OF A STUPID SENTENCE THAT POPPED INTO MY MIND THE MOMENT I WAS ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP.

Fun times being me. But like I hardly ever get fanfic ideas during the day, and they're never as good as these random middle of the night thoughts

Is it just me? Probably.

Definitely didn't happen again last night, definitely not...

#fanfic writing #fic writing #writing #marauders #writing ideas #why is it like this

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

I'm not mad at you

TW: Mentions of suicide (it is the topic, but there's nothing too graphic) So that being said, this topic is very sensitive (like most of my writing stuff you shouldn't be surprised if you've been here before) Anyway, please, if you get triggered easily do not read this, or at least be careful

Word count: 2 900

“Jamey?” Remus asked shakily, coming to stand next to James' bed, who was currently the only one beside him in their dorm. “I-i think I need help.”

“What's up, moony?” He asked, sitting up on his bed, immediately getting worried as he looked at Remus. He was shaking all over, skin pale and eyes wide, then he glanced at his hands, seeing blood. “There's blood. Remus, why's there blood?” James asked before he could answer.

“I- um. Don't feel well.” He said, closing his eyes, trying to get rid of the spinning in his head, though it did nothing to help the way he was swaying on his feet. Soon he felt James' hands on his shoulders, he opened his eyes, trying to focus on James' worried gaze.

“Okay, c'mon sit down, I don't want you to pass out.” He said, guiding Remus to sit down on his bed. James bit his lip, looking over Remus, when his eyes landed on his arms, he was starting to panic, the sleeves of his jumper were stained with blood. “What's going on, re?”

“Sirius is mad at me.” He said unhelpfully, looking at James as if it was the most obvious thing.

“That's not-.” He started but stopped himself mid-sentence, knowing that wouldn't help with anything. “I know he is. But did something happen today? Or now?” Remus shook his head, closing his eyes again. “Okay, okay. Can I take a little look at your arms? You're bleeding.”

Remus didn't answer, but James did it anyway, he needed to know why there was blood. He gently pulled up the sleeve of Remus' jumper on his left arm. He couldn't exactly see where all the blood was coming from, it looked like there were many cuts. He had never liked blood, and it made him a little uneasy, but he kept looking, he needed to know. He turned Remus' hand over, there was even more blood dripping from around his wrist, but he couldn't see the wound, not clearly at least.

James was definitely starting to panic now. He quickly checked his other arm, there wasn't nearly as much blood but still some. “Hey, rem, how 'bout we go see Poppy quickly? I think she'll be able to help you, yeah?”

“No, no.” Remus whispered, shaking his head. “Please James n-no.”

“It's good for you, yeah? I'll go quickly grab something, and then we're going.” He said, getting up from the floor, he went to the bathroom, seeing a blade on the floor but ignored it for now and just grabbed a roll of bandages. He quickly wrapped it around the biggest wound on his left hand, hoping it would help at least a little.

“C'mon Remus, please? Let's go.” He said, and Remus looked up at him, his eyes looked hazy and unfocused, making James even more worried. He took Remus' hands into his and pulled him up from the bed, leading him into the hospital wing, even though he was very much against it.

He knocked onto the locked door, hoping madam Pomfrey wouldn't already be sleeping, since it was already late. It didn't take long until the door opened and madam Pomfrey peeked into the corridor, first looking at James and then her eyes landed on Remus, taking in his appearance. He was swaying just slightly, he looked very pale, and then she saw the blood stained bandages.

“What's going on, Mr Potter?” She asked as he let them in, gesturing onto the nearby bed where Remus could sit in.

“I-i don't know. He didn't say. There was so much blood and I thought this was better than um...”

“Well you made the right decision.” She said, quickly glancing at him. “Go take a seat in the corridor, please.” James nodded, though he didn't want to leave Remus alone, but he knew he couldn't stay, he couldn't just say no to madam Pomfrey, so he slipped out of the door, closing it behind him.

“What happened, Remus?” She asked gently, trying to look him in the eyes, but his eyes were very unfocused as he stared at a spot on the floor. She started to pull up Remus' sleeves to see where the blood was coming from. Remus just shook his head.

“I'm going to quickly clean these up and close them.” She explained, taking out her wand, starting to apply the spells she had just told him about. “Then, I'm going to put some bandages on to keep them clean, and I'd like you to stay here for a bit, just to make sure everything is okay.”

Remus didn't answer, but didn't fight back about her treating him, or doing the spells that she knew would hurt at least somewhat. But she kept talking to him, knowing from the countless times she had treated him after full moons that he liked to know what was going on. That he didn't like if he didn't know what was done to him. “You've lost some blood, dear, you must feel dizzy, no? But I have this potion that'll help with it, then it'll be good that you get some rest.” Pomfrey said, finishing up bandaging his arms.

She summoned the small vial of potion. “Now just a warning, this tastes horrible, but it'll make you feel better, think you can take this?” Remus looked up, blinking a few times before nodding, and she nodded, handing him the vial. His hands were shaking slightly as he brought it up to his lips, swallowing the horrible tasting liquid. “Alright, I'm going to give you something to help you sleep. I'll come check up on you a little later.”

Remus nodded slightly, accepting the next thing she gave to him. “Just a small sip is enough.” She instructed, and he did as he was told, handing the bottle back to her. Remus laid down, and Pomfrey pulled the blanket over him before getting up and going to the hall.

She sat down on the bench next to James, who looked up at her with teary eyes. “He's okay, Mr. Potter.” James nodded quickly, wiping his eyes. “Do you know any reason for this? Has anything happened lately, has he been acting differently?”

“No, I don't think so. He said nothing happened when I asked. I-i mean he and Sirius were fighting, even he said that, but- but they always are so I don't know why he did that.” He said, trying to think if something had been different. “He doesn't talk, I don't know.”

“That's okay, don't worry.” She said with a small smile. “Could you talk me through what happened before you came here?”

“Of course, yeah.” he said, running a hand through his hair and fixing his glasses on his nose. “He came from the bathroom and asked for help and I asked him why there's blood, and he just said he didn't feel well.” James tried to explain. “I asked him if something happened, but he just said that Sirius is mad at him and that nothing happened. He tried to fight me on coming here, but I was scared he'd pass out -”

“You did good. Go and try to get some sleep, Mr. Potter.” James nodded, looking at her. “If something comes up, please come see me. And, if you see Mr. Black, ask him to come by in the morning.”

“Okay.”

…

“Good morning, Remus.” She smiled, pulling a chair next to his bed. “How are you feeling?”

“M’tired.”

“That's to be expected, any pains?” Remus shook his head. “That's good, but like before, no need to hide the pain for me. Just tell me and I'll give you medicine.” She reminded, like she did every time after a full moon. “Now, can you tell me what happened?” He looked away, shaking his head. “Okay.” She said with a nod. “Your friend was very worried about you last night, do you remember?”

“He always panics.” Remus said quietly. “No matter what it is.”

Poppy smiled slightly. “Do you want to talk with me?” Remus shook his head. “That's okay. I'll check back in later, but is there anyone you want to see or talk to?” He shook his head again, biting his lip. “A house elf will bring you breakfast soon.” she said, starting to get up.

“Y-you mean I don't get to go?”

“No, I'm sorry about that, but I'd like to keep you here for at least for a little while.” Remus nodded slightly, watching as she got up from her chair, and into her office.

He quickly wiped his eyes, turning to lay on his side and curling up to himself. He felt tired and weird, he wasn't even sure what the feeling was. He felt guilty too, and his arms were burning horribly against the bandages. He fell asleep after a while, ignoring when madam Pomfrey tried to wake him up to eat breakfast. The next time, he woke up to someone opening the curtains around his bed, and the legs of the chair scraping against the floor.

He slowly opened his eyes, seeing James sitting in the chair he had heard. “Hi rem.” He smiled slightly. “Poppy said you're not up for talking, but she also said you're gonna be here a while, so I brought you a book.” James rambled, handing the book to Remus.

“Thank you.” He whispered, setting the book down onto the bedside table. “Why are you here?”

“I brought you the book.” He said simply. “She asked to see Sirius, so I thought to pop to see you and bring you the book.” he said as Remus just continued looking at him, knowing there was another reason for him to be here.

“Why does she want to see Sirius?”

“I don't know, rem.” he said. “She didn't say, just asked me to ask him to come by, last night.”

“Oh.” He looked away from James, closing his eyes for a moment. “What did he say? To you.”

“Nothing, just followed me. I think he was worried.” Remus shook his head. “He still cares about you, y'know. He- he did say he'd like to see you, but then he said that you probably don't want that.”

“Okay.” he whispered. “Can you go, please?”

“Mm yeah, of course. I'll come tomorrow, okay? I can bring you something if you'd like.”

“It's fine.” James nodded, getting up from his chair. “James?” He whispered before he could leave, and James turned to look at him. “Wanna see him.” he whispered even more quietly, James nodded with a smile.

When James left, he picked up the book, just to see what it actually was, of course he had brought the most boring one out of the books he owned. He laid down on his side, wanting to sleep, but he couldn't find himself to fall asleep again. So, he just laid there listening to the faint conversation he could hear in Pomfrey’s office, the voices sounded familiar, but he wasn't exactly sure how he knew them. Then that died down too, and after a moment the curtains opened again.

Remus looked over his shoulder, seeing Sirius, he sat up, blinking a few times. “M’sorry, I-i can go but um James -”

“No, no, don't go, please.” He said quickly and Sirius smiled, closing the curtain before sitting down onto the chair that was still pulled up to the bed. “Why- why are you here?”

“Poppy asked.” He said, pulling one of his knees up to the chair, wrapping his arms around it, resting his chin on it. “She asked if anything had changed lately in your life, if anything had happened, if me or James noticed anything.” Remus nodded. “She said she's going to talk to Minnie as well, probably lily too and Pete, but I'm not sure.”

“What did you say?”

“I told her the truth, Rem.” He said. “I told her what happened, that we fought and haven't talked and that- Nevermind. What happened, Remus? I was so fucking worried when James came back crying, and then I saw what our bathroom looked like. I was so worried, and I couldn't even come to see you cause-”

“Sorry.” He whispered, his voice cracking. “It was just too much. I didn't mean for this to happen. I was- I'm so sorry.”

“No, hey, don't say sorry.” Sirius hesitantly got up from his chair, sitting down onto the bed. “It's okay Re, I understand. I do. You don't have to explain yourself, not to me, okay? Never ever, you know that rem.” Remus looked up, and it hurt to see him like that, eyes filled with unshed tears and so much pain.

“I- thought.” He trailed off, shaking his head. “Why're you not mad at me? Why- you were. Why aren't-”

“What?” His voice was filled with genuine surprise as he looked at Remus. “Why would I ever be mad at you, hey Remus, no look at me? Shh, don't cry, please no. Love, I'm not mad at you, never. Why would I, huh?”

“Love?”

“Shit, sorry. No, not sorry. I mean it, of course I do, just not supposed to now, used to it y'know…” He smiled for a moment. “Anyway, Remus, it's okay. Don't have to explain yourself, and I'll never ever be mad at you for something like this.”

“But before -”

“I know. And I'm so sorry for that, I shouldn't have, not to you. It's been shit, and I've tried to think how to make it up, I really have.” Remus nodded. “I shouldn't have acted like that.”

“It's okay.”

“No, Re. It's not.”

“Can't think.” He mumbled after a moment. “My head's all hazy. Can we, um, talk later?”

“Of course.” He moved to get up, but Remus grabbed his wrist before he could.

“Sorry -” he whispered, letting go of his hand. “Can you stay?”

“Do you want me to?” Remus nodded. Sirius smiled, sitting back down, shifting so he was sitting across from him on the bed. “Have you eaten?” He asked, glancing at the tray on the bedside table.

“M'not hungry.” he whispered, shaking his head. “Don't… I don't want to.”

“I won't, don't worry.”

Remus nodded. “Could- Can you come here?” He asked, nervous as he looked at Sirius, who just smiled, moving so he'd be sitting next to him on the bed. “Thank you.” He whispered, leaning his head onto his shoulder and letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

“Don’t have to thank me.” Sirius whispered, wrapping his arm around him, hoping to make it better somehow. He took Remus' hand into his, seeing a small smile flash on his face at the gesture.

“I'm so sorry.”

Sirius shook his head. “No, don't say sorry, Rem.” He sniffled sadly, tears threatening to fall. “You can cry if you need to. I'm here.”

“I've missed you.”

“I missed you too. So much.” He whispered, starting to run his hand through Remus' hair, gently playing with the dirty blond curls. “I'm sorry for everything that happened.” He spoke into his hair, feeling the need to say it, he needed Remus to know that he was sorry, that he regretted everything. He wanted everything to be okay.

“I'm sorry too.” He turned to look at Sirius who smiled sadly, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, then moved to wipe away the tears that were trailing down his cheeks. “I'm so sorry, Sirius.”

“Shh, it's okay.” he whispered softly. “We're okay. We'll be okay”

“You promise?”

“I promise, Rem.” Remus only nodded, giving him a small but genuine smile. “Let's talk later?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I kiss you?” He asked cautiously, eyes searching for Remus'. He hummed, looking at Sirius for a moment, closing the distance between them, smiling as Sirius rested his forehead on his when they pulled away. “You should try to get some rest.”

“I'm not tired.” He whispered, laying his head down onto Sirius' chest. “I can't sleep.”

“Okay.” He whispered. “I can read to you? Don't have to sleep, I just thought…”

“Please.”

He nodded, rubbing his side as he reached for the book. “This is what James picked? What the hell is wrong with him?” Remus laughed, and Sirius smiled, kissing his head before he started reading. Remus ended up falling asleep, but Sirius continued reading knowing it calmed him down, and he found it easier to sleep with background noise, it also usually made him stay asleep.

He only stopped reading when the curtain around the bed was opened, it was madam pomfrey, he lowered the book looking at her. “You should leave, Mr. Black. Visiting hours are over.” She said, but smiled as she looked at the pair.

“Please Poppy?” He asked, rubbing Remus' side as he stirred, curling up in an attempt to stay asleep. Pomfrey looked at him, raising her eyebrow, and Sirius blushed slightly. “Sorry, madam Pomfrey. Can I please stay? Only an hour or two.”

“Only this time, Sirius.” She smiled. “I’m glad you two made up.” Sirius nodded, smiling slightly at her. “I’ll be back later, then you really do have to go.”

“Okay.”

Pomfrey left again, making the tray of food disappear from the bedside table as she went, closing the curtain behind herself. Sirius picked up the book again, continuing to read, smiling at the way Remus huffed in his sleep, hiding his face more into his chest, falling back to sleep.

A/N:

Hi :)

Did we like this? I hope we did because I really enjoyed writing this

I am supposed to be studying for my exams right now, but instead I finished this, what a good reason to procrastinate, right?

I would really like to write more of this, but my head is empty, so if you, yes you, would have anything to suggest you can just message me or something? Please, I'm asking nicely

Also, if there is anything else I should tag, please tell me, I do not mind, I wanna know

Anyway, hopefully you're doing well, if you aren't, I hope it gets better soon. See you around somewhere maybe?

<33

#sirius black #sirius orion black #remus lupin #remus john lupin #remus x sirius #sirius x remus #wolfstar #marauders #marauders era #wolfstar angst #fluff #fluff and angst #tw sui implied #tw sh implied #minerva mcgonagall #james potter #madam pomfrey

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

Hello! I just wanted to come on here and say that I love your writing! I’ve been reading your fics on ao3 since July last year when I stumbled across one, I think it was called “leave the light on” or something like that. Anyway, since then I have read most of your fics and they are all my absolute favourite! Whenever I’m feeling shitty I go to your account, and re read one and they make me feel so much better! So yeah, I just wanted to tell you how impactful your writing is to me!

Thank you so muchhh <33

I can't even tell you how happy I was when I woke up to this in my notifications. Really happy you've liked my silly little fics

<3

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

Happy birthday, moons

Word count: 1 800

I am incapable of writing happy things, so some birthday angst for you people, the end is very happy tho

The windows rattled loudly, rousing him from the light slumber he had fallen to. Once again reminding him of the darkness of his bedroom, nails scraping against the window, then the glass broke and someone climbed in. Remus opened his eyes, trying to calm his breathing. Just a dream, he reminded himself, it was nothing but a stupid memory. He looked around, though could barely see, the curtains were closed around their bed, and it was dark apart from the small sliver of moonlight he could see.

“ ‘s just the wind, Re.” Sirius mumbled sleepily, pulling him out of his thoughts for a moment. Sirius tightened the arm that was draped over his waist, face burrowing more into the back of his neck to fall back asleep, and provide at least some comfort. Remus nodded, holding his hand over Sirius', lacing their fingers together from the top.

He knew it was just the wind. He knew that. But he couldn't help thinking what if? What if something happened while he was sleeping? Happened before why wouldn't it happen again? Remus closed his eyes, trying to block away the sound, but it just got louder and louder as the minutes passed, bringing tears to his eyes.

He heard the sheets rustle as Sirius shifted behind him, Remus hoped he was moving only to get more comfortable so he could fall back to sleep. But soon he felt Sirius' chin rest on his shoulder, meaning he had woken up properly, which only made Remus feel worse. “What’s wrong, baby?” He asked, voice thick with sleep, but he sounded worried.

“Nothing.” He whispered, voice weak and quiet, wavering with tears. “You can sleep.”

“You're not.” He said. “I don't want you to be awake all alone, especially if you're upset.”

“M’not upset.”

“Okay, love.” Sirius whispered. “Look at me?” Remus turned to lay on his back so he could look at him, Sirius was laying on his side, propping himself up on his elbow. “What's wrong rem?”

“It's loud.”

“What is?” He asked, watching as Remus glanced at the window, or where it was behind the curtains. “The wind?” He asked after a moment, and Remus nodded. “Did that wake you up?”

“Never slept.”

Sirius frowned, brushing Remus' hair back. “If you can't sleep, you can wake me up, y'know. I don't mind being awake.” He whispered. “Not if it's for you.” he smiled then, leaning down to kiss his forehead.

“Mm, but you've got quidditch in the mornin’” he mumbled. “Against Slytherin in a week, Sirius. You should sleep.”

“Slytherins are easy.” He grinned. “It's just one practice anyway. But, I still don't mind. I don't want you to be awake all alone.”

“But-”

Sirius just shook his head. “Wanna talk about it?” He asked then, continuing to play with Remus' hair, hoping it would somehow make him feel better.

“Talk about what?” Remus asked quietly, looking away again. “Nothing to talk about.”

“Why can't you sleep?” He whispered softly. “Why's the wind bothering you so much, usually doesn't love.”

“Just memories.” He said. “It's nothing.”

“It's not.” He said. “If it upsets you, it's not nothing. I wanna hear, baby. If you wanna talk, I want to listen, I wanna help you.”

“It's my birthday tomorrow.” He whispered, turning to look at Sirius, who had laid down on his side, head resting on the pillow. Sirius nodded, taking Remus' hand, prompting him to continue. “Then it's um- 12 years since I-.” He trailed off, looking at Sirius with tears in his eyes, who just reached to wipe away the single tear that fell. “I was five.”

“What happened?” Sirius asked quietly, He had never heard the boy talk about this, he had briefly mentioned that night all those years ago, but after that, he had never talked about it. He could only imagine how much the memory bothered him, especially now.

“I-it was a night like this. All windy and rainy, it kept waking me up. An' I was so excited for my birthday then that I just couldn't sleep.” Remus said, voice wavering with tears, he played with Sirius' fingers, and he let him, it was a comfort habit of his. “He came through m-my window. It woke me up and- I was fucking five. It's not fair.”

“I know.” Sirius whispered, pulling him into a hug, holding him close as Remus cried, face hidden into the crook of his neck. “But it's not your fault, Rem.” He said, rubbing his back gently. “You've done nothing wrong. Nothing to deserve this, baby. Absolutely nothing.”

“I-i know.”

“That's good.” He whispered softly. “I'm sorry that happened to you, so sorry.” Remus just nodded, pressing himself closer to Sirius, who just held him tighter in return. It took a while until he calmed down, but Sirius just stayed there, whispering gentle words and trying to comfort him the best he could.

“I'm sorry.” He whispered, looking at Sirius, who just shook his head, cupping his cheek and wiping his eyes with his thumb.

“Don't say sorry. It's not your fault, love.” He said, leaning down to kiss his nose, getting a small smile out of Remus. “I can put on a silencing charm, would that help you sleep? We can light a candle too so it's not so dark.”

Remus just nodded, wiping his eyes as Sirius sat up, reaching for his wand from his bedside table, casting a simple spell before quickly lighting up the candle on the bedside table. Then he laid back down, smiling as Remus rested his head on his chest, he just pulled the blanket over them, wrapping his arms around him.

“I love you.” Sirius whispered into his hair, kissing his head.

“I love you too.”

“I promise you'll have a nice birthday tomorrow. You're gonna get so much chocolate love.” Remus laughed, hiding his face more into Sirius' chest, who laughed as well. “I'm gonna steal all your chocolate frog cards.”

“Oh no, how horrible.” He said, lifting his head to look at Sirius. “Like I wasn't going to give them to you anyway?”

“You always do.”

“It's because I love you.” Remus smiled, leaning up to give him a kiss before laying his head back down. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, sleep well, baby.” Sirius whispered, rubbing his back, and starting to play with his hair. It took some time until Remus finally fell asleep, but Sirius didn't mind, he just stayed there talking to him something dumb about quidditch since he knew it helped him fall asleep. But when he felt Remus' breathing evening out, soft little snores escaping from him, Sirius blew out the candle, letting himself drift off as well.

…

“Moony.” Sirius whispered softly, caressing his cheek to wake him up. He kissed Remus' nose, smiling as he slowly opened his eyes, his eyes looking golden in the morning sunlight. “Good morning.”

“Mornin'.” He rasped, voice still thick with sleep, smiling slightly as he looked up at his boyfriend, who looked far too happy. His hair was still slightly wet from the shower he had probably taken after their morning practice, though he was dressed in pyjamas and one of Remus' jumpers. He wasn't sure how long he had been back already. “What's the time?”

“Just over nine.” Remus nodded, stretching out as best as he could. “Feeling better?” He asked, he nodded again, smiling as Sirius leaned down to give him a kiss. “Happy birthday, love.” He whispered against his lips. “You're fucking ancient now.”

“You're older.”

Sirius just grinned, giving him another kiss before sitting up. “I've got you something.” He said, getting up from bed to go fetch something. Remus sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard, smiling as Sirius came back, sitting down next to him. He handed Remus a gift that looked like it had been wrapped by a five-year-old.

“Wrapped it yourself, did you?” Remus asked, smiling as he looked down at the gift, Sirius just rolled his eyes.

“Open it, rem.”

“Calm down.” he said, trying to be careful with the wrapping paper as he opened it. Inside, there was a book, a chocolate bar and three bookmarks, clearly made by Sirius. One had pictures of them on it, the other had book titles written all over it in Sirius' cursive handwriting, and the last one had pressed flowers on it. He looked up, smiling at Sirius, who looked nervous. “Thank you.” He whispered, Sirius smiled, seeming more at ease.

“Do you like it?” Remus nodded. “That's good. Lils helped me with the flowers and James lent me some photos from his album.” He rambled nervously. “I hope you like the book though, Effie said it's good.”

Remus turned the book over, reading the description. It was from one of his favorite muggle authors, the first part to a series he didn't have yet. “Sounds really good. Thank you, love, really. I like it.”

Sirius smiled, shifting slightly so he could give him a kiss. “I love you, moons.” He whispered, looking up at him. “So much.”

“I love you too.” Remus whispered, resting his forehead against Sirius'. “Thank you.” he said, closing his eyes for a moment, looking at Sirius when he leaned back.

“Let's go get breakfast, birthday boy.” Remus rolled his eyes, but let himself be pulled up from bed by Sirius.

“Are you gonna call me that the whole day?”

“Absolutely.”

A/N:

Hi :)

I did not properly proof read this so it is what it is okay? I hope you liked it anyway

<3

#sirius black #remus lupin #sirius orion black #remus john lupin #marauders #marauders era #wolfstar #remus x sirius #sirius x remus #fluff #wolfstar angst #angst #fluff and angst #fluffy ending #werewolf

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

I would like to show off my cat

Thank you for your time :)

#cat #cats of tumblr

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

We'll be okay, I promise

TW: nothing? Please do tell if there's something I should warn about with this one

Word count: 3 100

The idea for this fic was from a post by @breakmyheartwolfstar :)

He leaned against the cold wall, closing his eyes and taking in a sharp breath. It did nothing to help the pain, it never did, and he knew that, but at least he didn’t have to look his mother in the eyes when the next hit would come. Sirius whimpered quietly when the next wave of the piercing pain hit him directly onto the chest, he clutched at it, eventually falling to the ground from the force of the tremors and pain. Walburga had laughed. High-pitched and self-satisfied, it sounded like she was enjoying the view of watching her own son suffer. Maybe she did enjoy it.

The rest of the evening was a blur, he couldn’t really tell what was happening. There were flashing lights, incoherent words that he somehow through the fog recognized being the voices of his parents, possibly Regulus too? He couldn’t be entirely sure, Sirius wasn’t sure if he wanted to know. His head was spinning, and it was difficult to keep himself upright when he finally got the chance to stand up, though he was pushed right back down. Everything hurt, there wasn’t a single part of his body that didn’t, he was sure he was bleeding too, though he couldn’t tell where the blood could be coming from.

It felt like hours, days even until it stopped, and he was left alone, or at least he thought so. The voices around him had stopped, at least for a moment it was quiet. It was the type where you acknowledge all the smallest of sounds, making you on edge at all times, scared something might happen. There was only the quiet echo of his mother's laugh ringing in his ears, but Sirius was sure it wasn’t actually there; just his mind playing tricks on him. He hadn’t yet found the strength to open his eyes to check though, so they might just as well still be there, he hoped they weren’t, though.

“Leave,” The sudden sound of her voice made him jump, and his eyes snap open, barely seeing her through the blurriness of his vision, but he could somehow make out the outline of her figure standing in front of him, hovering over him in a way that made his whole body go rigid. Even though he could barely see or move, he still followed the command, slowly standing up, his legs barely carrying his weight. He didn’t want to know what would happen if he didn’t, something would. Something always happens. “And, don’t come back.”

Sirius didn’t even look at her, he had understood the message loud and clear. He gripped on every possible surface for support as he walked, the back of a chair, the railing on the stairs, his knuckles turning white as he took a break to gather strength to continue. He leaned against the walls, swaying from side to side in the narrow hallway, when he finally made his way outside, he collapsed at the front steps, leaning against the door, breathing heavily. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, hear it in his ears, and it drove him mad. He just wanted for the noise to stop. Even for a moment. He needed to get out, he had to leave; hopefully his wand was still in his pocket. He eventually managed to get up, though he still felt like he might fall over at any point as he walked.

It was raining, it felt refreshing on his burning skin as he made his way down the street. When he got to an underpass, he leaned against the cold stone wall, trying to think what he should do. Remus lived too far away, and he wasn’t even entirely sure if he was home at the moment. Peter lived closest, but he was away on a holiday, and he didn’t want to go there anyway, he knew Peter wouldn’t understand. James didn’t live close either, he had walked there a few times, but it had been summer, and he wasn’t tripping over his feet every other step.

He could apparate there, technically. It would put him at the risk of being expelled from school, but maybe the ministry would understand? Maybe he could somehow sort it out? Though that would mean he’d have to explain everything, and more people would know, maybe he could leave that part out? He’d have time to worry about that later. James was his only option though, unless he wanted to stay outside, which he really didn’t want to do either. Euphemia and Fleamont were nice, so maybe they would understand if he showed up at their doorstep in the middle of the night.

Apparating made him feel even more dizzy, almost losing his balance when he landed at the Potter’s driveway, taking some time to gather his balance again. No lights were on, at least from what he could see, which wasn’t that much. But still, he knocked onto the door once he got there, hoping it was loud enough for somebody to hear. It took a few minutes before the door opened, he must’ve been a pathetic sight to see, if Euphemia’s expression was anything to go by.

“Sirius, dear, what happened?” She asked, ushering him inside and immediately leading him to the living room sofa, afraid he would pass out. Just that simple question said with so much care and kindness made the floodgates open, tears streaming down his face as he sobbed. He wasn’t sure what he could even respond to that. There were no words that could explain the incredible pain he was feeling, nothing that could explain what had happened well enough for someone to understand what it all meant. He wasn’t even sure himself.

“No, no, no.” He found himself saying, glancing up only to see the confusion in her expression, but nothing coherent enough left his mouth. He found himself repeating the same sentences over and over again, as if it would start to make more sense if he repeated it. “T-they know, they know. I- They know. They can’t- It’s- no.”

“Shh, it’s okay.” Euphemia whispered, interrupting his anxious rambling. “That’s not important now, you can explain later.” Sirius just nodded feverishly, burying his face into his hands. “I’m going to get something to patch you up. You don’t look too good, I’ll be right back.”

Before she could get up, though, Sirius spoke. “Jamey, where-? I-”

“Upstairs. Monty went to get him, don’t worry, Sirius. He’ll come down soon.” Sirius nodded again, looking around confusedly before his eyes focused on James standing at the doorway, giving him a sad smile as he walked over.

“Couldn’t wait until the morning, could you?” He teased, adjusting his glasses and running a hand through his hair as he sat down next to Sirius on the sofa. Sirius apologized quietly, not fully catching the playful tone of voice, wiping his eyes as he looked at James. “Y’know, that’s not what I meant. C’mere, you look like you need a hug.”

…

“Who knows?” Remus asked quietly, leaning his head into his hands as he looked at Sirius who was sitting on the bed, while he was in the armchair in the corner of the guest bedroom at the Potters. Sirius shook his head after a moment of thinking. “Who knows, Sirius?”

“Is that important?” He asked, glancing up. Remus didn’t look annoyed or angry, but rather disappointed and upset, which somehow was even worse than just being yelled at. It made him feel even worse about what had happened, about what had led to this in the first place. It was all his fault. “After w-what happened, I-. That's all you wanna know? What the hell does that matter?”

“It does.”

“How?” He whispered, picking on his fingernails, trying his best not to cry, or start an argument because he really didn't want that, but it seemed like Remus didn't care, he was so focused that it made him ignore all the signs that usually tipped him off. For once, Sirius wished he’d notice. “I don't understand.”

“I don't understand how you could let this happen.” Remus answered, making him take a sharp breath in, though he didn't notice, or care. Sirius wasn't sure. “How could you possibly be so stupid? You promised t-”

“I didn't mean to.” He said, shaking his head. “Rem, I swear I didn't mean to. It was an accident. I'd never-”

“I don't believe you. How could that happen?” Sirius nodded slightly, mouth hanging open as he looked at the ground, swallowing past the lump in his throat trying to figure out something to say, but no words would come out, they just got stuck halfway. He could feel himself starting to shake even more; it wasn’t just the aftermath of the spells used the night before, it was something else too. He didn’t understand why Remus was acting this way, maybe he had done something seriously wrong? Maybe he had deserved everything that happened, maybe it was only fair.

“M-mum and dad.” Sirius whispered, the events replaying clear as day in his mind as he thought back to it. “I-i don’t know how they- They know.” he said, reaching up to wipe his eyes on his sleeve before going back to hugging himself as tightly as he possibly could. He really wanted to be alone now. The one person he thought would make it all, at least a little better, made him want to just be alone.

“Mm, ‘cause they’re definitely the best people to know about this, aren’t they?” That felt like a stab in the heart, it hurt more than anything he had endured at the hands of his mother. It was a different kind of pain. “I guess Effie and fleamont know as well?” Sirius nodded quickly, still not daring to look at Remus. He didn’t want to be yelled at, again. Maybe he deserved it, though? “Do you realize how bad this is? Everyone’s gonna fucking know Sirius. Everyone. Does Regulus know?”

“I don’t know.” He cried, shaking his head. “I don’t- Remus, I-i really don’t know. I-” He was tripping over his words as he cried, breathing getting quicker as he tried to think. “I fucked up. I fucked up, I-i know. I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to, I promise. It w-was an accident. I swear. They- they. You don’t understand. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Rem. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry.”

Shit. “No, Sirius. I'm sorry-” He said, trying to correct his behaviour, he should've reacted in a entirely different way. He didn't mean for this to happen, of course he didn't. Sirius slowly looked up, wiping his eyes and hiccuping as more tears continued to trail down.

“I didn't mean to…” Sirius whispered weakly, shattering Remus’ heart into pieces. “I promise.”

“I know.” He said, trying to get his voice to be as soft and gentle as he could. He didn’t want to make Sirius feel even worse. “I know you didn't mean to. I'm so sorry.”

“Can I have a hug?” Sirius asked quietly after a moment of silence, taking him by surprise. After all he had said, he still wanted to be closed. He still wanted Remus, even when it was part of the reason he was feeling so horrible. “Please, moons?”

“Baby.” He whispered, slowly standing up and wrapping his arms around Sirius when he got up as well. He hid his face into Remus' chest, clinging on as if he would just disappear. “I shouldn't have gotten mad at you. Not now. That could've waited. I'm so sorry.”

“ ‘s okay.” Sirius mumbled. “I get it.”

“No. It's not okay. Don't say it is.” Sirius only nodded. “It's- Sirius something really bad happened to you and I should've been there for you- I shouldn’t have said what I did, it’s not fair to you.” He cleared his throat as tears started to burn in his eyes and a breath got caught in his throat. “I'm sorry.”

They fell silent after that, it wasn't uncomfortable, both just taking a moment to calm down. Remus swayed them gently, rubbing Sirius back to try to comfort him the best he could. Sirius just let himself be wrapped in the warm embrace, feeling like everything was okay for a moment; the tremors were gone and so was all the pain, physically and mentally. He felt better, for a moment, forgetting everything that had happened. He always felt better with Remus.

He listened to Remus' calm breathing, finding comfort in the way his hand went up and down his back slowly in the same way it always did when he was with Remus. It was calm and gentle, a ghost of a touch compared to what other people did, it was so familiar and comforting. When he felt Remus' lips press against the top of his head, that too, soft and gentle, made him feel at home. It was a simple gesture, but it meant so much more, especially now. It was a simple expression of love, but it said all the things that were left unsaid for now.

I'm sorry Remus had whispered again, but Sirius just shook his head, pressing himself even closer to him, It's okay.

It took a long while until the pair pulled apart, only to look at each other, Sirius reached up to wipe away the tears with his sleeve. Remus smiled slightly, leaning down to rest his forehead against Sirius' who let his eyes flutter closed, feeling safe with him. He finally felt safe.

“Do you want to talk?” Remus asked after a moment, kissing his forehead before looking at him, Sirius opened his eyes, looking up at him.

“I don't know.” Remus nodded. “Wanna sleep.”

“Okay. Do you-”

“Stay.” He chuckled quietly, getting a smile out of Sirius, it was small, but it was a smile. Eventually, they broke the embrace to get settled in bed, Remus sat down with his back against the headboard, Sirius sat down next to him at first, resting his head on Remus' shoulder. But eventually ended up with his head resting on his chest, curled up to him the best he could. Remus played with his hair, twirling the curls around his fingers, holding his hand with the other. Sirius closed his eyes, he wanted to sleep. He hadn't slept last night, but he couldn't find himself to fall asleep. There was still so much on his mind, and the pain was starting to break through whatever bliss he had fallen to.

“What hurts, love?” Remus asked quietly, as if reading his mind.

“Everything,” Sirius whispered, sounding defeated. “My chest hurts, and I'm all shaky.” He said, and Remus nodded, shifting so he could rub at his side gently, prompting him to continue. “My head hurts too.”

“Have you slept at all?”

“Maybe an hour.”

“Okay.” He whispered into his hair. “Can I help, baby?” Sirius shrugged, rubbing his nose onto Remus' jumper for a moment. He wasn't sure if he was just getting rid of an itch or if it was an affectionate gesture, but he didn't mind either one.

“They all know.” Sirius whispered after a while of silence. “I'm sorry, Remus. I promised it wouldn't happen.”

“It's okay, Sirius.” He said, though he wasn't sure if it would be okay, he shouldn't be mad at Sirius for that. It wasn't his fault. “It'll be okay. We'll be okay.”

“What if we won't be? It's my fault. I don't- Re, I don't want anything to happen to us.”

“Me neither.”

“I fucked up again.” Remus shook his head. “I'm so sorry.”

“Shh, it's okay, love.” He didn't answer, but a tear fell down anyway, Remus just reached to wipe it away before continuing. “You didn't fuck up, nothing will happen to us, nothing, I promise.”

“But- People?” He said. “They're not supposed to know.”

“Maybe it'll be okay. Effie and Monty won't do anything, neither will James. They're good people, Siri.” Sirius nodded. “It'll be okay.”

“Yeah.”

“I'm so sorry I got mad at you.” Remus whispered quietly. “I panicked, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have.”

“It's okay moony.” He said. “It happens.”

“It shouldn't.” Sirius just shrugged. “Do you wanna talk about it? About what happened yesterday?” He tensed up slightly, but nodded anyway, slowly calming down. “If you don't want to, we don't have to talk. We can just sleep, whatever you want.”

“It's okay.” Remus nodded, waiting patiently as Sirius took a moment before he started. “I don't know how they- they found out. I really don't know… I might've slipped it, sorry.” He whispered, starting to draw shapes into Remus' side with his finger to distract himself. “She got really angry with me, so did dad.”

“They- um they used the spell on me. It hurts so much, rem. I hate it, and they just kept on doing it. I was so scared.” his voice wavered with unshed tears and fear, but he kept on. “They a-always threaten with it… I didn't think they'd actually do it. She told me to leave, if I wouldn't, s-something bad would happen.”

“That- that's horrible, love.” Sirius just nodded. “I don't know what to say.”

“Don't have to say anything.” He said. “It just hurts.” He said, wiping his eyes before taking Remus’ hand back into his. “I always fuck up.”

“You didn't fuck up.”

“Remus?” He hummed, running his hand through Sirius' hair, waiting for him to continue. “Do you promise…? That we'll be okay.”

“I do.” Remus whispered, kissing his head. “We'll be okay, Sirius.” He nodded, a small smile flashing on his features.

“Can we talk more tomorrow? I'm tired, Rem.” Remus nodded. “Thank you.”

They were quiet again for a long while, falling into that comfortable place wheqre it was just them, only them, with no worries about what was outside. They could just be, and not care about what had happened. Remus gently nudged his forehead with his nose, a silent ask for Sirius to look at him. He did, sleepy eyes gazing up at his boyfriend, smiling slightly as he leaned up to give him a kiss. It was soft and warm, just full of love. “I love you, moony.” Sirius whispered quietly, against his lips.

“I love you too.” He whispered back, giving him another kiss before Sirius rested his head back down, tucking it underneath his chin, getting as comfortable as he could. He closed his eyes, smiling as Remus pulled the blanket over them. “Sleep, baby. I'll be here to keep you safe, yeah? Nothing to worry about.”

A/N:

Hello :)

Hopefully you enjoyed this one as much as I enjoyed writing it and that it all made sense at least somehow. Any weird things going and grammar mistakes we are blaming on writing this mostly at two am, okay? We're not blaming it on me

Also, I'm horrible at writing fighting scenes so I always try to resolve it quickly. I personally hate arguments so I avoid writing them, but I still hoped it worked out even tho it was quite short

I also have a small fic written for Remus' birthday 👀

Hopefully you're doing well :) If you aren't, I really hope it gets better soon <3. Have a good day/night/morning? Idk whatever time it is. Maybe probably see you around somewhere?

<3

#sirius black #remus lupin #sirius orion black #remus john lupin #remus x sirius #sirius x remus #wolfstar #marauders #marauders era #fluff #angst #fluff and angst #heavy angst #fluffy ending #wolfstar angst #comfort #hurt/comfort #child abuse #fic writing

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

You know what brings me so much joy? Well, let me tell you,

Whenever I get the email from ao3 saying hey you've got kudos, that makes me happy as it is, but when I open it and see the same name pop up like ten times

I'm like, aww you read something and went back to read more? Omg you're amazing.

Also love it when I recognize someone's nickname and I'm like wow you came back? Thank you so much

Same goes with Tumblr, makes me so happy when I see the same people pop up over and over again

That's all I wanted to say on this lovely Tuesday, take care <3

I'm trying to write something but my brain is all mushy and incapable of producing anything creative. I'll try to get back to as quick as I can tho :) I'm on a break from school next week so I hope I'll get something done and published

#ao3 #fanfiction writer #this makes me so happy