stillsoaring397

[stillsoaring397]

[stillsoaring397]

Define Your Grind

[stillsoaring397]

Signs of a fantastic Dom

We always talk about “signs of a terrible Dom” so let’s talk about some signs of an actually good Dom

They ask you about your day: They show compassion and actually want to listen about how your day went

They ALWAYS want to keep fields of communication open: Whether you’re in the middle of a kinky-as-fuck scene or you two are in a heated argument, the means of communication is ALWAYS open. Once you give your safe word, IT IS DONE

Aftercare is a top priority. No matter what this is for you in particular, they put a lot of emphasis on aftercare (cuddling, movie watching, bath time, etc.)

They aren’t afraid to scold you when you actually mess up. Sometimes we fuck up, both with our dynamics or we screwed up something at work or school. Doms will scold you, put also help cheer you up and might even offer ways to make it positive

Sex might be apart of the dynamic, but it’s not the focus. I get the fact some people get involved with other BDSM partners for the sole reason of sex, but outside of those VERY SPECIFIC DYNAMICS, sex is NOT the sole focus. It might be a fun “add on”, but it’s NOT the primary objective (penetrative sex or other forms of sex acts).

They are concerned for your safety, but don’t overdo it. They want you safe, but don’t take it to the paranoid level where they need to track every little thing you do.

They respect your privacy. EVERYONE has secrets (”skeletons in your closest”), even among romantic partners who have been partners for a long time, people have stuff they just don’t feel comfortable confessing every little thing in their life. A respectful Dom understands this and doesn’t need to go spying on you or attempt to invade your privacy (track internet history, track phone usage, track where you’ve been, etc.)

They trust you. A Dom who doesn’t trust you will purposely try to fuck up the relationship/dynamic, they will show severe jealousy, and other negative aspects. A Dom that trusts you will respect YOU as a person as well as you to keep your word on different things.

When disagreements happen, they use constructive language. There is not a healthy relationship on this earth that is 100% argument/disagreement free. However, whenever these do happen, it is NOT a “me against you” style argument (”I WON THE ARGUMENT”, none of that). It is done in a way with minimal accusatory/hurtful statements

They respect your hard limits. Doms know hard limits don’t mean “convince me”. They know to stay the fuck away from hard limits with a ten foot freaking pole.

[stillsoaring397]

“Every incident chips away at your limit. Every time you choose to stay, it makes the next time that much harder to leave. Eventually, you lose sight of your limit altogether, because you start to think, “I’ve lasted five years now. What’s five more?””

— It Ends with Us, Colleen Hoover

[stillsoaring397]

“Helen dreaded now to find that he was really no different from any other man.”

— Mary Balogh, from The Wood Nymph

[stillsoaring397]

Define Your Grind

[stillsoaring397]

Don’t choose the one who is beautiful to the world. But rather, choose the one who makes your world beautiful.

Harry Styles (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[stillsoaring397]

You only have so much emotional energy each day. Don’t fight battles that don’t matter.

Unknown (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[stillsoaring397]

“Get comfortable with being alone. It will empower you.”

— Unknown

[stillsoaring397]

“Healing is layers. Healing is time. Healing is excruciating. Once you think it’s done, it’s not.”

— Mary DeMuth

[stillsoaring397]

I love hard.

I love with my entire being. When I love someone I will go to the ends of the earth for them, will always be there when they need me, will always care how their day went and if they ate enough that day. I do not know how to love with less than “all of my heart and half my heart.” I’m in, 150%

I just wish that one day, a man could love me the same way.

[stillsoaring397]

Do not take people for granted

Even when they say

They’ll always be there.

In the fine print

Exclusions apply.

Love is not

A reason to

Settle or be disrespected.

Love is not

Always enough.

C. Points 8/9/21

#quote #quotes #spilled ink #spilled poetry #spilled prose #prose poetry #prose poem #love #I love you #relationship poetry #relationships #boyfriend #girlfriend #couple #couple things #relationship problems #i love him #i loved him #i loved her #i love her #i loved them #i miss you #falling in love #falling out of love #emotional abuse

[stillsoaring397]

Dear Aunt Ruth,

I’ve tried to write this a thousand times and each time I stare at the blank, white space before me at a loss for words. With the way reaching out to you has been weighing on my heart, you’d think this would be easy...that it would all spill out like water from a broken dam.

The thing is, I get stuck - at a loss for words, because what you did is so unbelievable because I could never. I am an aunt to two amazing children; my niece is 16 now and she is so beautiful and has a happy go lucky personality and my nephew is 5 with a heart full of kindness and too smart for his own good. The way I love them, I almost burst at the seams. I would walk through fire, fight off bears, and if it came down to it I would gladly give my life to protect them. When I look at them, their innocence amazes me - and then it amazes me that anyone could ever blame a child the way you blamed me.

I can’t fathom it. I look back even at 18 year old me and the maturity - the difference, is astronomical.

I was 13 when I couldn’t keep his secret hidden any longer. How could you blame me? Even if you didn’t believe that my father molested me, the next logical question would be - who did, who is hurting her, why would she make this up? Even if this isn’t true, she needs help of some kind...

Thing is - you never asked. That leads me to believe that you did believe me and you behaved the way you did anyways...

Either way, you let me down and weren’t true to your word. You told me that you loved me and would be there for me no matter what - but you weren’t. The moment things got tough, a little too uncomfortable, scary, or maybe might uncover some other family secrets - you ran. But before you ran, you threw me under the bus, pulled me out, and tossed me to the wolves.

Who were you protecting? What were you hiding? The way you exiled me from the family, I question whether or not something else happened in the family before...

How could you? You told me you loved me like a daughter of your own. You paid me special attention; you French braided my hair, baked bubble bread with me, and bought me all the best supplies and taught me to knit... You even begged me to let you take me in - to move in with you and you’d support me financially including private school. How could you go from this to telling me that I could not be in the family unless I “took it back?”

What a 180 - you flipped the script and pulled it out from under my feet like the lumpy rug that had been covering up the abuse.

You hurt me.

C. Points 8/2/21

#family #estranged family #estranged #abuse #child abuse #child abuse and neglect #prose poetry #family drama #family issues #family is complicated #coverup #repressed memories #help me #im hurting

[stillsoaring397]

Waiting for your call

I feel the anxiety swell-

swirling in my gut until it rises into my chest.

As my heart beats faster

and the nausea grows-

I realize just how much it would hurt to lose you.

C. Points 7/21/21

#quote #quotes #spilled ink #spilled poetry #writers on tumblr #i love him #i love you #in love #love poetry #poets on tumblr #phone calls #anxiety #anxious love #relationships #relationship #relationship poetry #prose poetry #prose poem #prose #love quotes #i’m in love

[stillsoaring397]

Grasping for an innocence

long lost,

I hold onto

the rush of playing with a child,

the awe when taking in something new,

the sense of smallness when wrapped in someone’s arms.

Grasping

grasping

grasping,

just a piece of

peace.

Building myself back,

brick by brick - stained to pure,

holding onto bits of

innocence.

C. Points

7/16/21

#quote #quotes #poets on tumblr #spilled words #prose #spilled thoughts #writers on tumblr #writers #child trauma #child abuse and neglect #childhood #prose poetry #csa #sexually abused #child sexual abuse #family is complicated #estranged family #im hurting #depression poetry #depressed #spilled poetry #sad poetry #excerpt from a story i'll never write #late night writing #writing blog #spilled ink

[stillsoaring397]

“You are not a reflection of the people who can’t love you.”

— Unknown

[stillsoaring397]

“I used to dislike being sensitive. I thought it made me weak. But take away that single trait, and you take away the very essence of who I am. You take away my conscience, my ability to empathize, my intuition, my creativity, my deep appreciation for the little things, my vivid inner life, my deep awareness of others’ pain, and my passion for it all.”

— partyof5plus1.tumblr.com