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#depression poetry

I am reminded of a raging river

As my heart starts to shiver


They’re not flowing

They’re running


I’m crashing

And I can’t swim


Water floods my ears as I am bashed from the boulders

My body bruised


The clouds are dark

Lightning carrying the sky


Why should I try?

A life does not come free


It’s cold

I scream but their growls silence me


The water fills my lungs

My hands are slipping trying to catch my breathe


The river isn’t flowing

The river is screaming


And I can’t swim

I can’t swim


My lips are red from biting them

I silence my screams


Because there are other rivers

They’re mad too


I need to save those who can’t swim

I need to save you


It’s dark

I’m sorry.

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Decaying Reality


Uncontrollably thrashing

as I’m controlled to be.

Throwing myself against the glass

praying to whatever god is left for me.

Breaking free of my prison

falling through the ceiling.

No use in screaming

my voice has long since been dead.

Free falling through my life

as I lie still in my bed.

Alone as lonely can be

as the great poets once said.

I’m living as I die

as my world decays to nothing inside my head.

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⚠️slight trigger warning⚠️ this poem contains content that deals with suicide, and depression.


I feel trapped but lost,

I’m someone I’ve never known,

I’ve been replaced with someone I’m not.

Wondering if this is the end

standing on top of a cliff,

daring myself to take another step.

Screaming,

I jump over the edge

but relax as I feel my pain leaving.

It’s over,

but maybe only just begun.

I’m awake now,

with nothing in my mind to hold me down.

I’m freed.

It’s mine now.

Sweet sentiment of relief.

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Do You Remember?


A Beautiful Mind, Girl Interrupted,

Metropolitan and the plight of Sylvia Plath.

I think of all of them when I think of you,

and that beautiful New England hue.

We laughed and laughed when we saw

Winona Ryder amongst all that fuckin’ 60’s decor.


Never saw the end of Girl Interrupted,

because our dog interrupted the movie

barking and barking til I went to snuggle him tight.

Do you remember when we brought him home that September night?


The summer of ‘09 is branded in my memory,

for you, I know it’s all ephemer-y.

Do you remember the waves in the bay?

You waded in during your outpatient hours;

I waited patiently for them to overtake me.


I remember each time you tried to reach for Heaven;

no matter how much I drink I can’t forget them.


For at least seven years,

I prayed to God to take me

Begging in your stead

“please God, save thee.”


And here we are, barely two years later

and I thank God for saving her.

The past you, the future you I want to meet so much;

but the present you, I can’t help but want to ask, “What about this world was too-much?”

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Twisted Soul

I ache for what I’ve lost. Good and bad, it’s gone forever and leaves me empty.

It’s a heavy kind of emptiness that weighs on my soul yet keeps me hollow.

I never wanted what I’ve lost but now it’s gone, I miss it so. Misery loves company, I guess.

I yearn for what I need but keep reaching out to find nothingness.

I feel too much at once and then nothing at all.

Exploding with emptiness is a strange feeling.

Overwhelming and underwhelming at the same time.

Torn between two states of being. A constant confusion of how to be me.

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The tunnel

I walk in a daze, every second of of every minute of every day, I walk it’s dark a tunnel never ending, always going; cold, dark, alone no where to go only forward is the way. The way back is pitch black nothing there empty only a dim light between you and the pitch black darkness behind, a glimpse of what you once were but nothing more just a sliver a piece of your former self slowly being consumed but the darkness behind. Ahead a light so far so bright but yet out of reach at the end, you tredge forward. Walking with ease steady you take careful steps towards the light. You see it clearly without grasp within reach you run for the exit happy to day the light, the day, the chirping bird, the sun on your skin at the end awaits happiness, but you have reached it, and nothings there; just the same tunnel you were in only moments ago. Dark, cold a faint light ahead, You are now all alone, but wait you have always been.

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cuheText

Im unloved

Forgotton

A constant pain

A bore

A loser

A living strain

A waste of time

With every breathe

A noose already

Around my neck

Life has a chokehold

Around my soul

A soul thats sick

Sad and pissed

Doomed to wander on

In lust

Of nothingness

For it all to stop

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One September Morning


One September morning,

How could it have done so much?

And yet, did it?

The same things had resurfaced,

So why did I bleed so differently?

Had you accepted my offer,

For me to lower myself

below the frost line,

I would have never changed.

I would have made sure to polish the mask.

Do you still miss the memories more?

Tell me, is he the one you still adore?

One last thing, before I go,

Something you should ought to know,

“I love you” has never felt the same

Since that strange September day.

Will it ever?


- Dal W.

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Post Traumatic


It wears on you.

It’s like a monster,

dark and twisted,

Chipping away at its cell

And at my mind.

Sometimes he reaches through the bars,

Scratches at my face,

At my heart,

And at my throat.

He grabs my wrists,

Moves my hands

however he wants.

And when by the time

I open my eyes,

I see the blood on my hands,

And we scream.

We know we must kill the other

To survive.

The trouble is, we don’t know who

Is

Who.


- Dal W.

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Garden crucible


The stones in my head

Are sinking to my heart.

I feel the tar in my voice

And in my eyes.

I’d reach out,

But I’ve blood

On my hands,

And I don’t want to stain your skin

Anymore.

Just let the thorns in my head

Keep growing,

Or set them on fire

To take me with them.

They’ve left so many scars,

I hardly have any skin left


- Dal W.

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