#// mike;; just carries toby around

[rockislandadultreads]

New Title Tuesday: Graphic Novels

Land of the Dead by Brian McDonald 

There is wisdom in the land of the dead, for it is the place that all stories lay to rest. And what is a story, if not a simulation of survival?

Wielding his massive experience from film, tv, comics, and more, Brian McDonald lays out a history of storytelling and shows the reader how the best tales tug at our truest biological the need to survive. Readers will see how different forms of survival―physical, emotional, spiritual―inform the arc of character development in a way that makes them more complex and compelling. And how plot and circumstance must then force your protagonist to meet their worst nightmare. Toby Cypress’s electric art guides the reader through the underworld, visualizing each narrative masterpiece, and bringing the ideas to life.

Whether you’re in film, books, comics, or simply a story enthusiast, this book offers a way to see character development and the crafting of plot through the lens of human questions of morality and mortality.

Critical Role, The Mighty Nein Origins: Nott the Brave by Sam Maggs

When you become that which you fear most, how do you carry on?

Veth Brenatto doesn't have an exciting life, but she likes it that way. Unlike her childhood, it's safe. Predictable. And her husband and son love her almost as fiercely as she loves them. But Veth's cozy existence is turned on its head when she and her family are captured by raiders. In order to save them, Veth will commit an atrocity that will sever her from all that she loves--maybe forever--and lead her to become Nott the Brave of the Mighty Nein.

This is the fifth volume in the “Critical Role: The Mighty Nein Origins” series. 

Last on His Feet by Adrian Matejka

On the morning of July 4, 1910, thousands of boxing fans stormed a newly built stadium in Reno, Nevada, to witness an epic showdown. Jack Johnson, the world’s first Black heavyweight champion—and most infamous athlete in the world because of his race—was paired against Jim Jeffries, a former heavyweight champion then heralded as the “great white hope.” It was the height of the Jim Crow era, and spectators were eager for Jeffries to restore the racial hierarchy that Johnson had pummeled with his quick fists.

Transporting readers directly into the ring, artist Youssef Daoudi and poet Adrian Matejka intersperse dramatic boxing action with vivid flashbacks to reveal how Johnson, the self-educated son of formerly enslaved parents, reached the pinnacle of sport—all while facing down a racist justice system. Through a combination of breathtaking illustrations and striking verse, Last on His Feet honors a contentious civil rights figure who has for more than a century been denied his proper due.

Superman: Space Age by Mark Russell

Meet Clark Kent, a young reporter who just learned that the world will soon come to an end (Crisis on Infinite Earths) and there is nothing he can do to save it. Sounds like a job for his alter ego…Superman! After years of standing idle, the young man from Krypton defies the wishes of his fathers to come out to the world as the first superhero of the Space Age. As each decade passes and each new danger emerges, he wonders if this is the one that will kill him and everyone he loves. Superman realizes that even good intentions are not without their backlash as the world around him transforms into a place as determined to destroy itself as he is to save it. 

Uniting the critically acclaimed writer Mark Russell (One-Star Squadron and The Flintstones) and Eisner-winner Mike Allred (Silver Surfer and Bowie: Stardust, Rayguns & Moonage Daydreams) for the first time, this series promises fans an unforgettable journey through U.S. history and culture starring our beloved characters.

This is the first volume in the “Superman: Space Age” series. 

#Graphic Novels #new books #new library books #new books to read #Book Recommendations #book recs #Reading Recs #reading recommendations #TBR pile #tbr #tbrpile #to read #Want To Read #Booklr #book tumblr #book blog #library blog

[popentertainment-moviereviews]

A GOOD PERSON (2023)

Starring Florence Pugh, Morgan Freeman, Chinaza Uche, Celeste O'Connor, Molly Shannon, Zoe Lister-Jones, Nichelle Hines, Toby Onwumere, Ignacio Diaz-Silverio, Oli Green, Alex Wolff, Brian Rojas, Ryann Redmond, Sydney Morton, Mike Menendez, Chip Hamilton, Drew Gehling, Dudney Joseph Jr., Mark Thudium, Victor Cruz, Jessie Mueller, Emilia Suárez and Anthony Cedeño.

Screenplay by Zach Braff.

Directed by Zach Braff.

Distributed by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. 129 minutes. Rated R.

The title A Good Person carries a certain amount of baggage. After all, all of the characters in this well-meaning, if sometimes slightly manipulative drama, are basically good people, although they all have flaws.

I believe the specific good person in the title is supposed to be Allison (Florence Pugh), a twenty-something pharmaceutical rep who has a tragic accident which not only kills two people but ends up destroying her engagement and causing her to become addicted to Oxycontin.

I say I believe it’s supposed to be her, I guess, because the description just as easily fits Daniel (Morgan Freeman), a retired cop and ten-years-sober alcoholic whose daughter was killed in the accident, and now is struggling to care for his granddaughter.

It would also be a fitting way to refer Nathan (Chinaze Uche), Allison’s former fiancé who watched the accident not only kill his sister and brother-in-law, but also destroy the life of the woman he loves. (Allison broke off the engagement, not Nathan.)

Or it could even be Ryan (Celeste O’Connor), the granddaughter who lost her parents and now is trying to come up with the empathy to forgive the woman responsible for their death.

Like I said, they’re all good people. Good, imperfect people. Which may be the point.

A Good Person is sweet and messy and tragic and sometimes a little schmaltzy, much like life.

The film is the return to the New Jersey roots of writer/director Zach Braff, who is perhaps better known as a light comic actor (Scrubs, and more recently a ubiquitous series of T-Mobile commercials), nearly two decades after his filmmaking debut with Garden State.

Garden State has had a weird trajectory over the years. When it was originally released, it was an acclaimed arthouse hit. However, over the years a massive backlash has formed on the film, to the point that it now is pretty much mocked and despised. I come down somewhere in the middle – when it first came out, I didn’t think it was as good as so many said, but it’s also in no way the embarrassment that so many say now.

A Good Person is not likely to excite so much passion – either in the positive or the negative.

Yet, in several ways it is rather similar to the earlier film. Like that film, the female lead is “manic-pixie-dream-girl” adjacent, although one who in the long run has been cowed by tragedy and medical and psychological problems. Braff, a New Jersey native, also still does have a firm grasp on the people and places of the Garden State.

Also like Garden State the storyline pulls on the heartstrings, sometimes shamelessly.

However, the acting is rather terrific, particularly by Freeman, who is a welcome presence in one of his too few current leading roles, and Uche as perhaps the most grounded person there, who is trying to keep the fraying relationships and people around him from falling apart.

Pugh is mostly sympathetic in a much more difficult role. Sometimes you don’t totally buy her as an oxy addict, but otherwise she negotiates the bombshells that the script throws at her with confidence and aplomb.

But whoever it was who thought it was a good idea to give Molly Shannon a somewhat dramatic role as Allison’s worried mother… no. Just no.

Still, even though the audience feels slightly manipulated, A Good Person often works.

It’s a good movie. Not a great one, mind you. But like the good people it is portraying, greatness is something it can aspire to.

Jay S. Jacobs

Copyright ©2023 PopEntertainment.com. All rights reserved. Posted: March 24, 2023.

#A Good Person #2023 #Movie Review #Florence Pugh #Jay S. Jacobs

[amaranthineoceans]

Everything Weird About Deltarune!

Spoiler Warning for Undertale and Both Chapters of Deltarune! Really! I Literally Go Through Everything I Can Remember About Them!

This is a long post so get comfortable. Also note that my brain doesn't process thoughts into words very well so some of these might not be worded in the best way. :)

Deltarune. The first teaser chapter was released on October 31, 2018, and it came out of nowhere. We've all gone through this, but I'll try and go through every single painstaking detail I can remember. Feel free to reblog and add/correct things.

The weirdness begins right off the bat. The title is an anagram of UNDERTALE. We all know Toby likes to use anagrams when he wants to indirectly tell us when things are related, so it's no surprise that when you go to download DELTARUNE, it warns you that the game is designed for people who have played UNDERTALE. You think, "Cool, so it's a sequel? Or maybe a prequel? A different perspective of UNDERTALE perhaps?" You were wrong; so terribly, terribly wrong! I'll elaborate on this later.

Before you download the application, the terms of service that you must agree to beforehand reads simply and plainly, "You accept everything that will happen from now on." This detail was kinda brushed off in the beginning, because, hey, it's Toby Fox. He does weird stuff all the time. But even in the first chapter, it's apparent that the concept of choice, or more accurately, the lack of it, is a very present theme in the game. I would like to remind you that Toby has announced that there will be one ending in the game. One. I'll elaborate on this later.

The program (as in, what the game is called in your files) is named SURVEY PROGRAM. Why not just call it Deltarune like it is when you download chapter two?

The game launches you, without a title screen, without any setting adjustment options, straight into a reference to the theme of the entire franchise: the lack of choice. A strange formless voice guides you through "making a vessel", with what we know now as a fountain in the background. You have the option to make some very disturbing choices in this character creator, such as making its favorite flavor "pain" or expressing your feelings about it with options such as "fear" and "disgust." You name your "creation," tell the formless voice your name (which is different from your vessel's name) and watch as said formless voice muses over your name at an agonizing pace. It thanks you for your time and tells you that your wonderful creation, (cue music cutout and background removal) will now be discarded. "No one can choose who they are in this world." The screen slowly turns white as the voice says, "Your... name... is..."

It gets weirder. The next scene appears from the whiteness and showcases Toriel calling "Kris" out of bed. Kris' area of the room is very bare in contrast to the other side, which we later discover is Asriel's.

It's Toriel. Why is Toriel here?

Kris is kind of an anagram of Frisk (the protagonist of UNDERTALE) but without the F. I highly doubt this is a coincidence.

Speaking with Noelle is the only reason you can proceed (see what i did there?) while finding a partner in the classroom. This means you can't go through the 1st chapter without knowing who she is. Is it because of the Snowgrave route?

Ralsei is just suspicious to me. There's no way he was just waiting in that castle his whole life alone without some mental toil. So either he's insane or he wasn't alone the whole time. What happened? Is it related to how he can close his eyes and see what Susie is going through when she's apart from the party? Was he just watching everything? Is he related to the formless voice?

Susie's icon is the only one without color in the Dark World.

Jevil's fight is more difficult than Sans'.

Your actions have little consequence in the first chapter. If you choose to go genocide, the only difference in the ending is being run out of the kingdom, and this doesn't carry over to the next chapter. Again, lack of choice, people.

If at the end of chapter one, you walk around town, it's mentioned (notably by Noelle) that you're usually not this talkative. If you go to the hospital and speak with the receptionist, they mention that you used to play the piano in the corner. If you decide to attempt to play the said piano, an out-of-key bash can be heard and the receptionist comments on how you used to play beautifully. If you try this in chapter two, the result is the same. All this is confirmation that Kris is acting noticeably weird.

When you leave the Dark World and walk around town, you can find Sans. He "pretends" to recognize you, and if you tell him you recognize him, he tells you it's funny, considering that you two have never met before. He winks. I'm pretty sure he knows that the player is there.

The mention of Papyrus in both games, but the purposeful lack of him. Like he's avoiding you.

If you go upstairs while inside Asgore's flower shop, there are flowers in glass cases resembling his SOUL collection in UNDERTALE. There's a red flower.

You can't enter the church.

The clock in the storage closet shows a different time than all the others in the school.

If you go all the way south in town and into the woods, the music stops and you come across a rusty, double door is in a hill covered in crass. It's locked. If you go this way in chapter two, however, you watch a cutscene where you and susie happen to find Monster Kid from UNDERTALE (or someone resembling them) and an owl kid in front of the door. The owl kid is pressuring Monster Kid to (presumably) break inside, telling them that they don't want to be a wimp like Kris. Does this imply that Kris is connected to this strange door somehow?

The ending. You know what I'm talking about.

Did Kris actually rip out the SOUL (I say "the" because I'm not entirely sure it's Kris') and knife because they wanted to eat the pie? Did they only eat the pie because Toriel caught them?

Why did they look at the player? Are they sick of being controlled? Is that why they freaked out after the Spamton fight? (later)

Anyway, now we're at chapter two.

DELTARUNE Chapter Two was released on September 17th, 2021. 17. Entry Number 17. Sound familiar?

Asriel's part of the room is different from the last chapter. I don't think this means anything sinister, but I think it means Kris notices different things about the room as the story progresses. My theory is that it will become more sinister in each chapter.

Ralsei getting super excited to see Susie and Kris after a day. As in he has separation anxiety and it breaks my heart. not anything suspicious but it makes me sad so it's on the list.

Kris and Susie's rooms. Ralsei REALLY doesn't want them to leave. Seriously get this boy a therapist. Or a stuffed animal. SOMETHING.

Kris having to gather everything from the storage closet so that people appear in the Dark World????? Why??????????????? They had to do the same thing for the computer lab too.

The golden door. I don't trust it.

How/why the heck did Noelle and Berdley go into the Computer Lab Dark World? I don't see either of them just walking into pulsing void doors without Susie.

Apparently the knight has been gone for a bit and can corrupt people's minds? The king in the first chapter doesn't seem like he can be redeemed but Queen just seems,,, not bad, but a little crazy. I wonder what happened.

Then again, name ONE person in this franchise without trauma.

Spamton.

Horror doesn't bother me. Spamton? Spamton bothers me.

SPAMTON. ENOUGH SAID.

A Kromer is a type of hat invented in the '70s. Nobody named Mike is associated with it, that I can find.

SPAMPTON. HOW DO I EVEN DESCRIBE IT.

HIS SONG IS THE ONLY ONE WITH WORDS.

The way he asks Kris is they want to be a heart on a chain their whole life. Like, dude, no wonder they were screaming after the fight.

WHERE DID THE YELLOW HEART COME FROM. YELLOW MEANS JUSTICE. WHY DOES JUSTICE APPLY.

Kris screaming after the fight and the player not being able to hear it. Don't you dare tell me that's just how the game is designed. There are sound effects characters make throughout the game. None that I can think of apply to Kris, apart from when they rip their soul out.

Ralsei brushing off the Spamton fight. Either that's his coping mechanism or he was trying to shut Susie and Kris up to protect them from... something. I'll touch on that in a minute.

According to Queen, DETERMINATION is a key factor in creating a fountain.

Also according to Queen, Kris, Noelle, and Susie all have DETERMINATION SOULS.

Ralsei freaking out about Berdley making a fountain implies that he may also have DETERMINATION. Why I'm bringing all this up will make sense soon.

How was Noelle able to cast Snowgrave... a spell that she, according to her, didn't know?

The Snowgrave route is so twisted.

You manipulate Noelle into killing Berdley and then, when you get back to the computer lab and investigate his corpse, the text box says that he doesn't seem to be awake. As if you're in denial?

Burgerpants recognizes you. Not Kris. As in the player.

The ending. I don't think I need to describe it. Kris is very methodical without the SOUL. (I say "the" because, again, I'm not 100% convinced it's theirs.) I'm saying this about how they left clues that someone broke into the This proves that they are NOT a mindless, vengeful husk.

HOW DID THEY MAKE THE FOUNTAIN WITHOUT THE SOUL INSIDE OF THEM. DID THEY FEED THE SOUL TO IT AFTERWARDS? IS THAT WHAT THAT WAS?

Another point I would like to make is my theory that Ralsei knows much more than he would have us believe. I might put this into a different post because I have yet to gather my points into a coherent bullet point list, so keep an eye out for that.

Anyway apart from Toriel and Susie being VERY heavy sleepers, I think I've gone through everything. I have a few theories.

1. Kris is possessed by the player and figured out that they could make a fountain from Queen and related to Spamton freaking out about freedom. They then decided to make a fountain going by the logic that "this would tick the player off." This is one of my top theories that assumes that the SOUL is theirs.

And 2. Kris is possessed by both the player and the knight. I think the formless voice at the very beginning of the game is the knight, and they somehow needed the player to possess someone with DETERMINATION. If so, then why Kris? We know from Queen that Noelle and Susie, and maybe even Berdley also have DETERMINATION. The most plausible thing I can think of is the fact that human souls are stronger than monster ones.

I do think that the popular theory (about the one that suggests that the Dark Word is nothing but a figment of a child's imagination, and the events that occur in said Dark World are simply children playing with toys) has been thoroughly dashed due to Berdley's murder in the genocide route of the second chapter. Unless he's not dead. Regardless, how the events (or lack thereof) that occur in the second chapter play through the next will be interesting, especially considering Toby's announcement about how there will be one ending to the game. So either Berdley isn't dead, or he will be.

Aaaand I think that's it! Sorry for the long post; let me know your thoughts and if I missed anything!

#deltarune #deltarune chapter 2 #deltarune theory #deltarune theories #deltarune chapter two theory #deltarune chapter two theories #snowgrave #pipis route #deltarune snowgrave #video games #indie game #deltarune spoilers #ralsei #kris #susie #undertale #sans

[alyssasmuses-blog]

{ @beaniesandbutterflies }

“...You know why Toby’s overweight, don’tcha?”

Mike was carrying the massive Mastiff as he were a really, really big baby, bouncing him around a bit as he tested his weight.

“It’s cause you keep sneaking him treats when I’m not looking. Uh huh. Yeah. I know, Ash. I know.” He said, letting out a small groan as he shifted, setting the dog back down as he leaned against the wall, giving her a dramatic glare.

“You know what we do with puppy fatteners, Ash, d’ya know?”

He turned on his heel, nodding for her to follow her down the hall.

#beaniesandbutterflies #// mastiffs; can weigh up to 230 pounds #// mike;; just carries toby around #// me; sweats #interactions;;mike

[saffron-nova21]

Truth or Dare: The Game — Bonus Chapter

Jokes on You! Masterlist:

< Previous • Next >

A/N: This chapter had a lot of suggestive content. None of it is relevant to the story, so if you would like to skip it, you can.

Warnings: Strong language, Suggestive themes and content, make out scene, like one body shot

The dares had been pretty mild, so far. You’d expected much worse from the conniving group of boys.

Though the most eventful thing that had happened was Oikawa, running down your street in only his boxers. Only one shot had been taken for the game: by Lev when he was questioned about the most strange place he’d had sex in. Anyone from Nekoma boys volleyball team knew exactly where it had been though: the bus... With everyone else in it.

Not that he’d ever admit it.

You’d had a few dares for one another to take shots as a group and everyone had been steadily drinking their own choice of alcohol, your own personal choice being some Mike’s Hard Lemonade.

It wasn’t until a smirking Oikawa looked at you and asked you that question that you realized that they’d been lulling you into a false sense of security. Though, even still, you answer confidently. “Dare.”

“Y/N, I dare you to... Let Tendō take a body shot off you.” Your eyes widen a bit at his words, before you nod.

“Alright. Ready, Tendō?” You turn towards the male in question, who just chuckles a bit and lets you up to go retrieve the necessary items, also bringing extra, guessing you wouldn’t be the last two to be doing this.

When you get back, you sit in front of Tendō, letting the zipper of your onesie come down a bit (yes you are all still wearing pajamas) and leaning your head back. Tendō wastes no time leaning in and licking a stripe from your chest up your neck, before pouring a bit of salt on your skin. Then, he takes the lime slice and taps your lips, making you open your mouth and hold it in between your teeth. He smirks at you, raising an eyebrow and you don’t exactly understand why, until you look down and realize that you’ve been gripping onto Tendō’s onesie.

You’re quick to release your hold on him, rolling your eyes and flipping the others off as you hear them laugh at you. You lean your head back a bit, once again, while Tendō takes a quick shot of tequila, before licking the salt off of your neck. Then he grips your chin and pulls your face towards his, leaning in and taking the lime from your mouth, watching the way you melt against his touch as he sucks in the lime, then releasing you and tossing the rind of the lime into the spare bowl you’d brought, for the rinds.

You then just turn right back around and sit in his lap again. “Iwa? Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” he sighs, though he knew what you were going to do.

“I dare you to take sweet Tōru over there... And spend thirty minutes in our guest room, together.” You smile innocently, watching Tōru flip you off as Iwaizumi drags him to his feet.

“Come on, Crappykawa,” he sighs. “Let’s get this over with.” He shoved him forward and forwards the guest room.

“Aww! Iwa-Chan! No need to be so rough!”

With the two walking away, you glance around. “So, who wants to go next?”

Goshiki grins, raising a hand; “I will!”

It’s another forty minutes before you and Tendō fall victim to the other’s plotting. However, it’s not even Oikawa who does it, this time, but instead it’s Lev.

“Tendō, truth or dare?”

“Dare, of course. What do you take me for?” He smirks confidently.

Of course, that was a sentence for you both with the way Lev smirked knowingly.

“Well, Tendō. I dare you to take our Y/N to their room. You guys can get thirty minutes, as well.”

Tendō hums, “I can work with thirty minutes. That okay with you, little monster?” Tendō looks at you to make sure it was okay.

You narrow your eyes at Lev, “I’ll get you back... Just you wait, you shithead.”

Though, with your consent, he just tossed you over his shoulder and started carrying you to your room, easily closing the door behind you both. He placed you on the floor, watching you with a smug grin as he placed his hands on the wall, caging you in his arms, against the wall.

“Your reactions are so cute,” he cooes to you, watching the way you shrink against the wall. Though he persists and leans in. “All you’ve got to do is tell me to stop and I will, Y/N...” Waiting for your nod, he then moves one hand to your cheek, “Kiss me, Y/N.” He says quietly.

That’s all it takes for you to lean in, one hand moving to come around his neck, trailing into his hair and pulling him close to you, lips landing on his. Your other hand moves to grip the fabric that covered his chest, pulling him closer to you, as close as you can possibly get him.

He presses his body against yours, pressing your back to the wall. His hand dips to hold your chin, index and middle finger pressing lightly against your pulse point.

Then, he moves his lips from yours, kissing a line to your jaw, then lowering his kisses from there. Open-mouthed kisses against your slowly warming skin. They begin to slip lower, the male slipping your zipper down to expose your chest to him. Your shoulders, collarbones, and chest were where he began to suck at your skin a bit, leaving small marks that would soon be turning purple.

Tendō smoothly lifts one of your legs to hook it over his hip, using it so he can press himself against you. And you’re able to feel him hardening through the thin clothes between you both. A quiet moan escapes you as you feel him against you, rolling your hips against him weakly, “Feels good,” you whine.

Tendō lets out a breathy laugh against your skin, the warmth of his breath making you shiver. “I know it does. Gonna be a good monster for me and stay quiet, or do I need to give your mouth something to do?”

The weak, breathy moan you let out with a roll of his hips was answer enough and you were soon sinking to your knees in front of him, quite happily, might I add.

You and Tendō are both consenting adults and I’ll leave you to imagine what happened in that room.

You two did return after thirty minutes, though continue playing.

However, they’d already begun playing Bad People, while you were both in the other room.

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I hope I did Tendō justice. 😳 Tendō just 🥵 You know? Ya feel? I can’t be the only one who thinks that. Baby deserves the world.

You guys better be getting something to eat, drinking some water, and taking care of yourselves mentally and physically! Remember, guys, I’m proud of you and I love all of you guys! 🤍 Keep it up, loves! You’re doing wonderful!

Taglist:

@kookie-doughs @missalienqueen @kodzuklutz @halesandy @pelicanpizza @pandauniverse @sevenlol @mixed-bag-of-tricks @satoriluver @uniquepickle @geloikawa @babyshoyo @ilauvcoldpizza @ghoulgirlradio @maer-333 @tobi--o @ermahgerd-larry-and-ziam @ashtounding @rogueofbullshit @tendousfingertape5 @rintarawr @a-little-pebbl @420-uwu

#haikyuu smau #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! #haikyu x reader #tendō smau #tendō satori x reader #tendō satori smau #tendō x reader #tendō satori

[joezworld]

Toby - Rap God

Guys I was making myself laugh when I wrote this - I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. 

Based entirely on one line from this.

2019

There are many engines on the Island of Sodor, and like many people, music is often part of their lives.

Some engines, like Percy and Duck, have no interest in the subject, having never been exposed to it in a real manner.

Others, like Gordon and Henry, have extremely well-defined music tastes. (Unfortunately for those around them, they do not like the same music, and arguments often ensue.)

James, being extremely vain, enjoys the songs written about him for the children's television show based on the writings of The Thin Clergyman.

And then there’s Toby...

-----------

Toby is a small brown steam tram. He has spent almost all of his life on Sodor on Thomas' branch line, where he and his coach Henrietta trundle up and down the valley at the top of the line - providing a valuable commuter service from the branch line terminus to the stone mines at Anopha.

Toby likes music, as does Henrietta; they like it so much that in 1989 the workmen installed a radio in Henrietta so that the two could listen to music on it as they worked.

This was very thoughtful gift, but there was a small problem:

The hills outside of the quarry meant that many radio stations couldn't reach the small antenna on Henrietta's roof.

Fortunately, a few did, mostly overpowered stations on the Isle of Man. These stations were designed to reach boats far out at sea, and mainly played uninteresting things like the Shipping Forecast.

There was, however, one station that did come come through loud and clear no matter where you were...

---

You're listening to ManxPirate - the Barely-Seaworthy voice of the Sudrian Sea. I’m your sea-going Deejay - or Sea-Jay - Musik Mike! Up next is our most popular block of the day - that’s right, the JAMS are LOUD and we're all gonna get DEF!

"Oh Henrietta! It's starting!"

"Just be ready on the choruses Toby"

------------------

The sounds of music echoed off of the Els river valley as Toby and Henrietta trundled towards Elsbridge.

Aside from their Quarry duties, Toby and Henrietta also worked 'the school bus', a daily train that carried schoolchildren from the remote farmhouses between Elsbridge and Hackenbeck to the Saint Pedroc's school in Elsbridge.

Toby loved this route - many of the children had been taking 'the bus' since Grade 1, and he felt privileged to have seen them grow up into fine young adults.

-

As he pulled into the platform at Elsbridge station, he saw those young adults crowded around each other.

'"Peep Peep! Let's go, everyone!" he called to the teens.

"Just a minute Tobes!" Called back Sera, one of the teenagers, before she turned back to her friends, who were filming her with their 'smart-phones'.

"Whatever could they be doing?" He asked Henrietta as Sera and her friend Phoebe bounced up and down in unison while waving their arms around.

"Undoubtedly something for the internet," the coach mused. "But I have no idea what - trends change so fast now".

"Internet?" Toby was puzzled. "Don't they need a computer for that?"

"Toby. Smartphones have been around for over ten years. How do you not know about this?"

"I'm sorry that I'm not as technologically advanced as you - but at least I know what steam is!"

"Oh my goodness, it's also a video game company now. You've heard those jokes before!"

Toby and Henrietta likely would have gone on like that until the guard blew his whistle, but Phoebe broke away from the group of teens, her phone in her hand.

"Toby?" She asked, clearly trying not laugh. "Do you know what Vossi Bop is?"

Toby was taken aback. "Of course I do. Vossi Bop isn't my favourite, but that's just because I don't like Stormzy that much - I'm not one for Grime."

Phoebe blinked like she'd been poleaxed. "What?"

"It's a Stormzy song, isn't it?"

"Toby," Henrietta sighed. "She was asking because she thought you didn't know. Was this going to be some kind of thing where you show rap music to the elderly and laugh at them being shocked?" She asked Phoebe, who nodded slowly.

"Well, you're going to have to better than that young lady," The coach smirked. "We've been listening to ManxPirate since before you were born!"

"Really?" The blonde asked slowly.

"Oh yes!" Henrietta boasted. "Eazy-E was still alive when we first tuned in!"

"Oh, em, gee!" The girl said, before turning and shouting down the platform. "Guys! They do know!"

-

The excited teenagers crowded around Toby and Henrietta as they quizzed the tram on rap music. Any thought of leaving on time was totally forgotten about as Toby's extensive knowledge of gangsta rap was laid out for them.

"Mate, mate," said John, one of the boys. "You gotta do The Challenge if you know all this!"

"What challenge?" Toby asked.

The teens clamored over each other, before they all stopped to let someone speak intelligibly.

Rachel Kyndley eventually spoke up: "It's a thing that ManxPirate is doing on TikTok. You sing along to a rap song and whoever does it the best gets to record a charity single with Stormzy!"

The teens again spoke over each other, all claiming that Toby and Henrietta should sing for the challenge.

Toby had to blow his whistle to calm them down. "I suppose there's nothing to lose by it," He said after a moment. "But I should say that my flow isn’t that good."

"Mate, I am amazed that you know what that means,” Said John. “But you just need to sing along to somethin’ that’s already out there.” 

“Oh.” Toby looked back at Henrietta. “Well that shouldn’t be too hard. Do you have any N.W.A we could sing along to?”

As he had the only ‘eye-phone pro’, Simon the student newspaper editor was volunteered as cameraperson, while Rachel set a small ‘blue tooth speaker’ on Toby’s bufferbeam so that he could hear the music.  

The remaining teenagers pulled out their phones as well - whatever happened next was going to be un-fucking-believable. 

-

The music began with record scratching. The kids looked at each other in shock. There was no way that Rachel had picked this.

"Right about now NWA court is in full effect” Henrietta sang.

Rachel had. The teens could barely contain themselves. 

“Judge Dre presiding in the case of NWA versus the police department.

Prosecuting attourneys are MC Ren, Ice Cube and Eazy motherfuckin' E”

Hearing Henrietta say ‘fuck’, was an astonishing experience for the unprepared teenagers.

“Order, order, order, Ice Cube take the motherfuckin' stand

Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth

And nothin' but the truth so help your black ass?”

“You goddamn right” Toby responded. Rachel Kyndley barely could hold back a shout of astonishment. I hope there’s no book written about this! She thought.

“Well, won't you tell everybody what the fuck you gotta say?"

Then there was a record scratching sound. 

The teens knew what came next. They hoped that they were prepared to hear this song come out of Toby.

"Fuck the police comin' straight from the underground!" 

Toby and Henrietta not only sang this lyric, they sang it in harmony. 

The teenagers thought that they had been prepared. 

They were not prepared. 

Most of the next few verses were lost underneath the clamor of twelve teenagers losing their goddamn minds.

--------------------

A few days later

Toby was resting in his shed when a little car came tearing into the station parking lot. More girls than should have been possible to fit in it came tumbling out and made a beeline for his shed, Rachel Kyndley in the lead. 

“Toby! Toby! Toby! You won! You won!” She shouted as she skidded over the gravel. 

“Won what?”

“The Contest!” She shrieked. “Your video went viral and you won The Contest! Stormzy said on Instagram that he was excited to meet you!” 

She and her friends dissolved into happy squealing, preventing any further speech. 

“What’s Instagram?” Toby asked Henrietta. 

--------------------------

The Next Week

Stephen Hatt was enjoying his tea and tolerating his toast and marmalade, when his son Richard burst into his office, waving his phone around like a sword. 

“Were you just not going to tell me that you let Stormzy visit the engines? Or was I just supposed to figure this out when Kieran and Micah tore my ear off for not letting them meet him?!”

“I have a phone, you know. And a receptionist.” Stephen said as he cleaned tea off of his desk. Fortunately, most of it had gone onto the marmalade covered toast, which he unceremoniously dumped into the trash. “And who have I let meet the engines?”

“Stormzy? The rapper? He headlined at Glastonbury last bloody month?”

“I don’t follow.”

“He’s a musician, and you let him record an album with Toby!”

“He recorded music? With Toby? Our Toby?”

“Yes! It was supposed to be a single, but now it’s an album! It hit number one! And it’s been out for three hours!”

“You’re saying this as if I have the slightest idea what you’re talking about.”

“Just read the article!” Richard shoved the phone into his hand. The website for  BBC Sodor and Man was open. 

-

STORMZY DROPS SURPRISE ALBUM WITH SURPRISE COSTARS

ELSBRIDGE - Music fans across the world were surprised this morning when Stormzy unexpectedly announced via Instagram the release of his newest album, Back in Their Day - featuring two of the realest OGs I’ve ever seen.

Residents of Sodor were especially surprised to discover who those “two real OGs” were: Toby and Henrietta, an engine and coach on the Ffarquhar Branch Line. 

This unexpected collaboration began several weeks ago when a viral video on TikTok featuring the pair attracted the attention of the rapper...

-

Stephen skimmed the rest of the article, not quite believing what he was reading. “I didn’t authorize any of this.” He said at last. 

“Really?” Richard said, not quite believing him. “Because that’s what the staff on the Branch told me too.”

“I swear to you I didn’t do anything.”

“Then what, did the biggest star in the country just go to Ffarquhar and record an album with Toby? With nobody’s permission?”

----------------

[TWO YEARS LATER]

--CHANNEL 4 INTERNAL TRANSCRIPT: THE LAST LEG 2021 CHRISTMAS SPECIAL--

ADAM HILLS - So we’ve had a lot of questions, about, the last album you dropped-

[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

AH - The one with the train engine -  I think his name is Toby?

STORMZY - And Henrietta. Can’t forget her. 

AH - Of course not.

S - What do you wanna know?

[MORE LAUGHTER]

AH - Well, I don’t have any questions - and when I say we, I don’t mean Alex or our viewers - 

[PROLONGED LAUGHTER]

AH - I mean Josh.

JOSH WIDDICOMBE - [TO ADAM] You’re an Arse. [To STORMZY] - Um, I just wanted to know how you did it really. Is it, is it true that you snuck in and did it all in one night?

S - Oh yeah! Absolutely. ‘Cause, I thought that it was gonna be a one and done, like just a single y’know? So I just went there and was gonna do it and go. But as we kept talkin’ I realized that, that, I just had to make more, and then it became the album and we shot a music video for ‘scrapp’ on the same night and then I did some sound work  and then it went up. 

AH - Just like that?

S - Just like that.

#music #music tastes #fanfic #ttte #ttte fanfic #ttte toby #ttte henrietta #rap music #cursing #long #I wrote this one for me #and I was laughing hysterically the whole time #I'm american and listen to disco #why did I make this about rap and stormzy #story #headcanon #ttte headcanon #sodor #sodor shenangians #shenanigans #fic #toby rap god

[notyetneedcoffee]

Not What He Had Planned

Just a quickie . . . 

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warning: NSFW, 18+, pure smut 

Everything about the day sucked. Stark said the meeting would be a slam dunk. Still, you prepared as thoroughly as possible. It should have been simple. You held all the appropriate qualifications. Your work was exemplary. You record looked like a shining freaking beacon compared to other people on the team. You did not expect it to go to shit.

So when Fury pulled out surveillance photos of you and some of your male friends, accusing you of ‘questionable behavior’ when in fact it was just a few football nights out, it took everything to not tell him to fuck off. To make matters worse, half the team sat in the room listening to you sputter.

As soon as the meeting adjourned, you bolted as fast as your four inch heels would carry you.

“Y/N.” Steve followed hot on your tail. He did not sound pleased.

“What?”

“Stop.”

“Why?” You snapped. Wishing he’d just drop it for now. You’d turned a corner, heading for the elevators at the back of the building, having no desire to see anyone else from the meeting. How dare Fury insinuate such bullshit.  

A strong arm came around your waist, lifting you off the ground. “Rogers!”

“Shut up.” He growled, hauling you into tiny privacy room. It had no windows, just a couple comfortable chairs and small conference table. He dropped you on your feet and locked the door. “What the hell was that about?”

“What?”

“All that! Those pictures, those…dates.” He spat the word out.

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” You tried to push by him, but he stood solid.  

“No!” Steve grabbed your wrist with perhaps a little more force than necessary. “Tell me. I deserve to know.”

“Those ‘dates’ weren’t dates, you ass.” You spat, really pissed now. “In fact, they were all group outings. That was Toby, my cousin, and Mike, his little brother. Oh yeah and Mike’s boyfriend Donny. You know, Sunday brunch and…”

“Football.” Steve swallowed, instantly feeling like an idiot, but not being able to shake the fever running through him. Fuck it, he thought as you ranted on.

“Yes. Football, Steve, with family and a bunch of friends! About as slutty as gets, huh? Makes me totally compromised. Nowhere near, Stark’s past jumping on anything with two legs and a twat! No! At least he tried to stand up for me. What hell did you do? Jesus, Steve. You just sat there looking like I was guilty as sin or something. You’re supposed to be my friend and you were looking at me like I was out there boozing it up, sleeping around, and giving away our secrets.” You were on a roll. “And why the hell should YOU care? Deserve to know? What the hell? Why should I…”

Steve’s hand wrapped around the back of your neck as he cut off your words with a desperate kiss. Even taken by surprise, you instinctually fell into his kiss. His tongue slid over you lip and you eagerly opened to him. Strong arms wrapped around you, clung to you, pulled at you. Your head spun.

You pushed him away. “Wha…Steve?” Anger and frustration now whirled around confusion and desire.  

“We’ve been dancing around each other for months.” He grabbed your hips, pulling you against him again. He ran hot open mouthed kisses down your neck, growling in your ear. “I lost my head at the idea that you going out with other men the whole time.” When you shivered under his touch. “I want you to be mine.”

He bit down on the cord of your neck sending a shiver all the way down your body. All the emotion, all the anger and tension, spiraled and flipped, turning to white hot passion. You ground into him. He was hard and ready. “Holy shit, yes.”

Steve pulled at your skirt, lifting the hem until you felt his hands on your ass. His mouth covered yours, wet and messy. Your tongues battled, hands pulled at one another, months of denial tearing free. You whined when his hand slipped between you, beneath your panties.  

“So wet.” He growled. “Need you now. Here.”

“Yes.”  

You jerked as he tore your panties at the hips. “These are mine.” He stuffed them in the back pocket of his pants. Before you could reach for him, Steve spun you around to face the table. His mouth attached to your neck, one hand cupping your breast, the other buried between your legs. “You feel so fucking good.”

Running your fingers through his hair, you rocked against him. “Mmm, Steve, want you.”

His fingers rubbed your clit, making your knees shake. “Tell me you’re my girl.”

“Yes,” you panted.

His fingers curled into you, pumping in your cunt with sloppy wet noises. “Want to fuck this sweet pussy right here.” His voice lowered.  

Your whole body shook in reaction. “Fuck, Steve.”

Steve unfastened his pants. You felt the length of him rub against your ass. One large hand pulled your shirt free of the skirt, finding the flesh underneath, squeezing your tits through the lace of your bra. Back arching, as he rutted against you, his cock slid between your legs. He groaned. With a guided push, he slammed into you.

You cried out. His hand covered your mouth. Hot breath in your ear. “Quiet, sweetheart. We don’t want anyone banging on the door.” He slid out, slamming in again and again. “While I fuck you senseless.”

A whimper escaped your lips. His large frame curled around yours, holding you up, making you shake. Steve’s pace increased. His ragged breath fell across your kiss damped skin. The tension in your core coiled. When Steve’s fingers danced across your clit again, you moaned against his other hand. Body quivering.

“Yes,” he breathed. “Fuck, yes, sweetheart.” Using the hand on you pelvis as leverage he pounded into you faster, harder. Your came with a violent shaking of your legs and flooded over his cock. Both hands dug into your hips hard enough that bruises would likely appear. He fucked hard, fast, deep, hips snapping and his own moan swallowed into a growl as he came.

Your legs shook but Steve held you up, arms around your waist as he peppered your neck in kisses.  

“That was” he took a deep breath, turning you to face him. “Not the way I planned this in my head.”

You kissed, slow, arms wrapping around his shoulders. Both of you oblivious to whatever mess sex had made of your clothes. “You planned this?”

“A hundred different ways.” Steve smirked. “Starting with you pissed a me and ending with a desperate quickie in an office wasn’t one of them.”

“A hundred?” You laughed.

“At least.”

“Hm.” You kissed him deeply one more time. “You think we can work our way through that many scenarios?”

He smiled into another kiss. He loved a challenge.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fic #steve rogers smut

[d2kvirus]

Dickheads of the Month: January 2021

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of January 2021 to make sure that they are never forgotten.

Once again, we knew that Donald Trump wasn’t going to take losing well, but when a legion of his most boneheaded supporters storm the Capitol demanding the election result be overturned because a certain thin-skinned orange gobshite had spent several weeks screaming about electoral fraud and, by the way, also set the date of January 6th for some major event, even Mike Pence couldn’t sanction his buffoonery any longer - especially when said buffoonery involved him saying “I love you” to people who were guilty of sedition and, by the way, murder - all of which led to him finally, finally, getting the boot from various social media platforms

...all while Lauren Boebert appeared to be trying to help out the insurrectionists by livetweeting the location of Nancy Pelosi, presumably because Boebert forgot about that Glock she claims to take to work with her every day and was looking for a convenient meat shield, which naturally has nothing to do with her tweeting the day would be like 1776 earlier that morning

...but the real victim in all of this was Melania Trump as it interrupted a photo shoot she was doing, which she somehow thought it was a good idea to mention several days later in a statement riddled with two opinions: “both sides” and “me, me, me” which shows she didn’t realise the optics of rearranging the china as Washington burned around her

...but according to Laura Kuenssberg it was merely a “scuffle” at Congress, as opposed to an organised group attempting to stage an armed insurrection against the government complete with at least one member carrying zip ties

...and finally, we had Ian Austin reminded us that he’s still alive by saying the exact same thing would have happened in the UK with Jeremy Corbyn supporters storming parliament, as if that happened in the four years Corbyn was wishing Austin would go away, then did go away, but sadly didn’t go away

Once again the Tory government think they know better than virologists, epidemiologists and pharmacists with their one-two punch of thinking they can just mix and match the various vaccines available rather than give people two doses of the same vaccine, but they further weaken any chance of vaccination succeeding by ignoring Pfizer’s recommendation the second dose be given within three weeks of the first by adopting a policy of the second dose is given three months later, and it it’s just as likely to be the less effective but cheaper Oxford vaccine they get a dose of

...swiftly followed by the BBC did their bit to encourage people to get vaccinated by reporting a story of a nurse getting a dose of Covid six weeks after her first vaccination jab not by reporting how she was three weeks overdue for the second dose (or, if you prefer, six weeks before her second one) but simply saying that people vaccinated can get Covid, which goes beyond the BBC’s sociopathic inability to criticise Tory fuckups into being downright fucking dangerous - as does their putting sentient testicle Toby Young on Newsnight to say how we’re all overreacting as it's not as bad as all that

Of all the things proven liar Boris Johnson should have said when the UK’s Covid death toll officially passed 100,000 (as opposed to unofficially, which would have been last December), “We have done our best” was not it, because if their best includes not going into lockdown in order to protect landlords, having Dominic Cummings dictate herd immunity in spite the fact that you need vaccinated people for it to work, refusing to have quarantine at airports until July, thinking it would be a bright idea to tell people it’s their patriotic duty to go to the pub, giving them £10 vouchers to go to restaurants, putting children going back to school ahead of any concerns about every single school could become a petri dish and countless other horrifically mismanaged instances, then we should be kept up at night dreading what their worst would be

The fact that Chartwells were given a contract to provide free school dinners with a budget of £30, and the supposed lunches that arrived had £5 worth of food in them which begged the obvious question where the other £25 went, is appalling - but not surprising, as the Tory government gave them the contract and, equally unsurprising, Chartwells was founded by a Tory donor, and equally unsurprising their response to their grift being exposed was to tell all the public school clients they cater to a pack of lies while hoping nobody found out about them doing so...which worked about as well as you can guess

Something possessed the EU to ramp up the row over the AstraZenica vaccine not passing the rigorous tests for over-65s by threatening to trigger Article 16 and limit the number of vaccines that Northern Ireland received, and that something was it was hopelessly misguided as it allowed the Tories to get their hapless response to the pandemic off the front pages for a few days and let the Leave headbangers say this is why we left the EU...in spite this threat would have never been in play if we were still in the EU

There is no way to make jokes about Kellyanne Conway posting what was, in effect, revenge porn photos of her 16-year old daughter, because that sentence is so far out there that it is borderline incomprehensible

In the space of less than twenty seconds proven liar Boris Johnson claimed that there was no prior warning of the new strain of Covid, he had the SAGE paper stating it was coming which was handed to him last September held up in his face, and then said the government acted accordingly.  Yes, you read that right, he claimed the government acted accordingly to something they had no prior warning about, which is literally impossible, all in the space of ten seconds

In the latest hire by the BBC which is cause for both comment and concern, they announced their new chairman would be Tory donor Richard Sharp, whose credentials for the position are being Rishi Sunak’s ex-boss at Goldman Sachs, donating at least £400,000 to the Tory party, and having no background in journalism whatsoever

Smirking bully Priti Patel said that the UK should have closed its borders in March 2020 in order to prevent the spread of Covid.  Presumably she forgot that she was a.) Home Secretary in Marsh 2020 so could have done that, and b.) Home Secretary when she said that the borders should have been closed as that indicates she doesn’t know what’s going on

The terrifying world which Alison Pearson lives in has now started to cross over into our reality due to her responding to one of the four people she hasn’t blocked on Twitter calling her what she is - namely a liar - by siccing the Torygraph’s lawyers on them claiming libel, doing the usual cry bully tactic of learning the person she is harassing works for GlaxoSmithKline so promptly went to their CEO demanding he be fired, and howling about the hate campaign being waged against her - while telling the person, who was saying he was thinking suicidal thoughts after the pile-on that Pearson had instigated even after he had deleted the tweet and apologised , that “You’re finished”

Someday in the future, scholars will study Ted Cruz responding to Biden rejoining the Paris Climate Agreement within hours of getting his feet under the Oval Office desk by pontificating about how terrible it is that Biden is more interested in the citizens of Paris than the jobless of Pittsburgh and wonder just how somebody who doesn't know why the Paris Climate Agreement was named the Paris Climate Agreement ever got to be a senator

...and judging by how Lauren Boebert also latched onto this brainless rhetoric, not only can it be asked how she got to be a senator when she had the opportunity to actually realise Cruz’s mistake, she also begs the question how she can be a senator after her publicly trying to use Nancy Pelosi as a meat shield during the Capitol riots

Unifying force Keir Starmer stated that Labour should be devoting their time to fighting the Tory government rather than fighting court cases, somehow forgetting that by breaking the guidelines of the EHRC report (which he pledged to follow without question months before it was published) is the reason that they’re fighting court cases, and just so happens to be the reason why people are asking how a meeting attended by Starmer, Angela Rayner, Len McCluskey and others either didn't have a single person taking notes, which is David Evans’ entire defence, or they did take notes by quite conveniently lost them

Oh boy, did Wall Street cheerleaders not take it well when r/WallStreetbets exposed to the entire world that the stock market is little more than a game people play with other people’s money - because the teams the Wall Street cheerleaders support started losing, and all it took was a few Redditors investing in Gamestop and Bed Bath & Beyond 

Nice of Shaun Bailey to remind everyone that he’s a Tory by giving his suggestion for how the homeless could get on the property ladder, namely by saving a minimum of £5000

Clearly Marjorie Taylor Greene didn’t get the memo about the Streisand Effect, as the first thing she did after taking her seat in the House of Representatives was go on a mass deleting spree of Facebook posts - which only served to draw attention to her video saying that Nancy Pelosi be executed for treason, her track record of spreading conspiracy theories about the Parkland and Sandy Hook shootings, and her claims that a Jewish space laser is responsible for the 2018 California wildfires

Insufferable self-promoter Jess Phillips got her 2021 off to a good start by tweeting out that, as Britait has happened, we should shut up and accept it.  To the surprise of nobody other than insufferable self-promoter Jess Phillips, this led to a lot of people saying that, no, they will not accept an advisory referendum somehow being bolted onto the Ten Commandments, especially as numerous things that were promised wouldn’t happen such as a border in the Irish Sea, leaving Erasmus, losing freedom of movement, leaving the Common Market have all happened

It is wrong to say that smirking bully Priti Patel has lost 150,000 police files.  The actual figure is closer to 400,000 - which begs the obvious question as to what those files were, for example if those files also happened to fall under the same category as the ones that 55-year old ex-minister Mark Francois might want to have disappear for the sake of convenience

At last CD Projekt Red took some responsibility for Clusterpunk 2077 being such a cyberfuck...if by “taking responsibility” you mean “taking responsibility, dumping it all on the QA testers, and saying that everyone should blame them for everything” - and then with perfect comedic timing CD Projekt Red released an update for Clusterpunk 2077 that was so broken they had to release a hotfix for their broken patch

Expenses-fiddler Robert Jenrick decided that the most important thing to protect in the United Kingdom at this exact moment in time is...statues.  Not key workers, not the vulnerable, not any human life at all.  Statues.

So either Rafael Behr wrote a column for The Guardian where he tried to blame Jeremy Corbyn for his heart attack which saw Guardian higher-ups remove that passage from their print edition but forgot to remove it from the online version of the article, or The Guardian deliberately left the passage in the online version of the column in order to get some form of engagement from rage clicks while allowing Behr to act as if he is suffering some great injustice

Of course it wouldn’t take long for Steve Baker to try and claim some spurious victory for Britait, namely him claiming that tampon tax he spent so long fighting against being abolished is proof of the sunlit uplands of our post-EU nation...which ignores the fact that a.) It had nothing to do with the EU in the first place, and b.) The fact that Baker voted to keep it in place in a 2015 Commons vote

Employer of the year WWE went for an interesting twofer, as one minute they were proudly stating that WrestleMania would go ahead with a prospective 30,000 in attendance without any concerns for social distancing or any other Covid preventative measures, and the next telling the wrestlers on their roster that they would not be supplying them with Covid vaccines at the exact same time the NBA were floating the idea of providing vaccines for all their players

Make no mistake, the criticism that Erik Lamela, Sergio Reguilon, Giovani Lo Celso and Manuel Lanzini have received due to the four of them flouting lockdown regulations to attend a New Year’s party is justified - however, the fact that Duncan Castles tried to chase a headline by claiming that Lo Celso and Lamela had tested positive for Covid in a swiftly-deleted tweet is a new low for the noted barrel scraping rumour monger

Self-awareness sceptic Laurence Fox was entirely predictable in his response to the news that talkRADIO had been booted from Youtube for repeated violations of their ToS, specifically the part about spreading Covid misinformation, screaming the usual things about being “cancelled” - and then, within hours, responded to the BBC announcing a plan of educational programming to help during Lockdown III by saying he will be shielding his children from being “indoctrinated” by the BBC’s “left-wing bias” - which not only means he’s cancelling the BBC, but also had people remember that Billie Piper has custody of his children so it's not like he can even enforce his rules on what his children can and cannot watch

...by the way, Fox said nothing about Lord Sumption appearing on the BBC’s Question Time (the same show where failed actor on the grift Laurence Fox announced his new career as a clueless right wing irritant) where he told a woman with bowel cancer that her life wasn’t valuable, it was merely less valuable as she has less life left.  Yes, that is eugenics getting free airtime on the BBC, thanks for noticing

Somehow the best choice of words the BBC could find when reporting the death of Phil Spector was “talented but flawed” as if murder is some character flaw instead of, oh I don’t know, a criminal activity?

You would have thought that Twitch would have simply retired the PogChamp emote permanently in the wake of Gootecks going all insurrectionist, but no, instead they thought of having a rotating cycle of emotes of various creators, in spite of those creators telling them this would be a bad idea - and those creators were proven right when Critical bard was inundated with racist and homophobic abuse in his chat that led him to close his social media profiles when he was selected for rotation, with Twitch doing fuck all about it

Fashion editor no matter what she claims she is Hadley Freeman had a really clever take about The Sopranos...actually, no she didn’t, she had an absurd belief that it’s the exact same show as Sex in the City but people overlook it Because Misogyny, and when she was lambasted for missing the point so badly she had noted dipshit David Baddiel rushing in to her rescue to mock those getting “triggered” by her insipid take while saying he never liked The Sopranos because, as he isn't an Italian-American mobster, the show did not speak to him - in other words, he made himself a subject of equal mockery

...but there was no sign of Baddiel when Hadley Freeman then jumped on the BidenErasedWomen bandwagon alongside the TERFs of Twitter as soon as Biden got his feet under the desk, which also happened to show hard centrist extremist Freeman say how she thought Trump did far more for women than Biden ever has, which as takes go is so bad that the best explanation is that she briefly forgot the difference between the words “for” and “to”, before she then deleted the tweet and tried to deny ever posting it with increasingly nonsensical explanations that rapidly looked uncannily like gaslighting

...although David Baddiel wasn’t quite done being a bellend, as he was soon yukking it up with professional victim Rachel Riley about his latest book which accuses the entire progressive left of antisemitism

The oppressed underclass known as Manchester United fans really showed their colours, first by responding to a loss to Sheffield United by sending racial abuse to Axel Tuanzebe and Anthony Martial on social media, and a couple of weeks later responded to a draw with Arsenal by sending racial abuse to Marcus Rashford, because apparently when your team drops points the most important thing is to look for which member of your team you can racially abuse

And finally, oh so finally, we have Donald Trump and his discovery of electoral fraud at last - electoral fraud that consisted of Donald Trump calling Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger demanding he change the result and all he needs is Raffensperger to “find” 11,780 votes while also saying that he had proof of vote-counting machines being removed early...and when told they were still in Georgia, changed his lie to say the inner workings had been removed without anyone noticing.  By the way, the only reason anyone knows about this is because Raffensperger told Trump that he wouldn’t release the call to the public if Trump didn't say anything about it - so, of course, the Orange Overlord took to twitter, ran his mouth, and the Washington Post had one hell of an exclusive as a result

#dickheads of the month

[mizjoely]

Eight Percent

Inspired by this post and @theemptyquarto‘s subtle little nudge :)

St. Barts Pathology Lab, 2012

Sherlock came storming into the lab, nearly causing Molly to drop the armful of glassware she was carrying to the autoclave. “Sherlock! You’re in a strop, what’s wrong? Case gone bad?”

“Case gone bad? No, of course not!” he snapped back, stopping directly in front of her. 

“Oh, er, then no cases at all?” she asked, giving a squeak of surprise as he snatched the glassware out of her arms and jerked his head toward the autoclave.

She moved obediently, her mind as much as jumble as the assorted items she’d collected from the lab’s previous tenants, a group of Mike Stamford’s students.

“You shouldn’t let them just run right over you, treat you like a lab technician,” Sherlock grumbled as he helped her sort the glassware and put each item into its proper place. “You’re a Specialist Registrar, for God’s sake - and that, Molly Hooper, is exactly the problem!”

Molly scrunched her brow in confusion. Sherlock was often like this - moody and disgruntled, although he wasn’t ever as helpful as he was being right now. Not unless he needed something. And if he needed something, he at least had the decency to pretend to be nice about it. So, given that he was being moody and disgruntled, it seemed unlikely he always wanted something. But it wouldn’t hurt to ask - and hey, maybe this would be one of the times he’d actually explain what he meant. “Why is me being a Specialist Registrar a problem, exactly?”

“For the same reason that I know your cat’s name is Toby, that you’re saving up to buy an expensive flat, and that your favourite fruit is cherries!” he practically bellowed, slamming the autoclave shut. “Because you take up exactly 8% of my Mind Palace. 8%! And I have no idea why!”

“Well, 8% isn’t actually all that much,” she started, only to fall silent as he glowered at her.

“8% is an enormous amount when it comes to my Mind Palace, Molly. Stamford barely takes up 1%, my family not more than 12% total, except for Mycroft, he’s in a category of his own, and The Work takes 75% of what’s left over!” He tugged irritably at his curls and continued to study her. “So why you? Why 8%?” he muttered.

Molly could nothing more than shrug. Sherlock was still an enigma to her, even after having known him for almost two years. This whole Mind Palace and 8% thing was his problem to deal with, but there was something she could take from this confusing conversation. “You’re right,” she said, gesturing toward the autoclave. “I do let them treat me like a, a lab technician, and I know they do it because I’m a woman, even the female students.” She nodded decisively. “So I won’t let it happen again.”

“Yes you will,” Sherlock contradicted her. “It’s in your nature. You can’t help yourself; you’re one of those” His lip curled in contempt. “A people pleaser. It’ll take you at least, mmm, I’d say another six to eight months before you manage to stand firm.” Then he gave her one of his rare sincere smiles, the one that lit up his features and dazzled her like the sun. “But I do hope I’m around that day, because I guarantee it will be a sight to behold!”

Then he strolled back out the door, leaving Molly utterly flummoxed as to why he’d felt the need to come up here in the first place, ranting about Mind Palaces and percentages.

She shook her head as the door swung shut behind. “I don’t think I’ll ever understand that man,” she said with a sigh, then shrugged and returned to work.

TBC

#dis is mine #sherlolly #miz joely writes #mizjoely's fics

[arcadialedger]

Fictional Friendships that Mean the World to Me

Friendship has always been the strongest, and most important, form of love in my life. Every so often, one of those fictional friendships comes along which depicts the true depth of what I experience in my own-- the feeling of being someone’s other half, of two souls intertwining as one.

True friendship is a deep connection, pure platonic love. It is not bound by blood or physical desire, but wholly unconditional. Here is a list of my favorite fictional friendships which I hold incredibly near and dear to my heart, and I believe paint an example of just how powerful friendship can be. 

I. MERLIN AND ARTHUR

Oh, can I talk about this beautiful relationship without crying? The answer is no. I have always said that Merlin the show of the INFJ, and the central relationship between these two, as well as the depth and complexity of Merlin himself, are exactly why. 

Merlin and Arthur’s friendship is the purest depiction of unconditional love-- of two souls bound in destiny to be each other’s half-- I have ever seen. It is also the first time I have also seen a friendship depicted as the primary love on a show/ central relationship on a show. My best friend @shadowqueendiangelo​ and I share a very similar friendship, and even carry Merlin and Arthur necklaces to symbolically have each other close to our hearts. 

II. HOLMES AND WATSON

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes stories served as a foundation to my childhood. Oh, how I adored escaping to Victorian London and solving mysteries with my favorite detective and his beloved Watson. 

To this day, the Holmes and Watson friendship remains one of the greatest partnerships I have ever witnessed in media-- from the original novels and short stories to various modern depictions-- and one of the fictional relationships which shaped my life and my understanding of friendship. 

III. SAM AND FRODO

“I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you”

“Frodo wouldn’t have gotten far without Sam.”

 This is one of the few cases where I like the relationship the adaptation depicted more than the relationship that the books depicted, but Sam and Frodo in the novels still make me sob. 

I am a huge fan of Samwise Gamgee, and firmly believe him to be one of the greatest characters ever written. Period. And his undying loyalty and love for Frodo is one of the reasons why. Sam got Frodo through his hardest times-- still believed in him at his lowest and darkest moments-- and if that isn’t a true best friend I don’t know what is.

IV. THE DOCTOR AND DONNA

(I know all my other gifs have been hugs, but I couldn’t NOT include one of the most iconic scenes of all time)

One of the most brilliant TARDIS pairings in history. Period. In terms of companions and their relationship to the Doctor, Rose and Donna for me share the #1 spot, each in a very different but equally brilliant way. Oh, what an iconic comedic adventure duo these two are. 

A true match made in TARDIS heaven, and a season which will forever go down in Doctor Who history. 

V. JIM AND TOBY

*Someone needs to gif these two dorks more often because I could not even find a hug gif and that is CRIMINAL*

Probably the most recent fictional friendship discovery for me. Oh, these two warm my heart. These two are the most adorable friends, and it is so wonderful  to see such a strong friendship at the center of an an animated series. 

These two have a lightheartedness-- a best friendship  so strong you can just see how happy they are when around the other-- that is truly special and representative of real life hanging out with friends. They good off, make each other laugh, and are all together the best duo. 

VI. KIRK AND SPOCK

Don’t get me started on how beautiful these two are. And how my college dorm mate made me fall in love with the friendship only to rip my heart out from underneath me with The Wrath of Kahn. 

Kirk and Kahn represent something in friendship which is normally only done in fictional romance, and that is two people from two opposite walks of life coming together and forming an unforgettable bond, against all odds. I adore that. They are opposites in every way, you would never expect them to come together. Yet they are each others other half and make one another whole. Truly a remarkable partnership/ duo in storytelling history. 

HONORABLE MENTIONS: Harry and Ron, Mike and Will.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And there you have it! There is my list. Please note that I focused on friendships in fandom properties here, so no sitcoms or classic films or anything like that.

another note-- WHY IS IT THAT ALL BUT ONE OF THESE FRIENDSHIPS ARE M/M. I desperately need some favorite female friendships in my life. Part of it is me-- I have a personal soft spot for strong male friendships-- but there is definitely a lack. 

MAKE 2020 THE YEAR OF STRONG FEMALE FRIENDSHIPS PLEASE AND THANK YOU. 

#admin #admin post #fandom #fandom post #fandom talk #friendship #friendships #best friendships #best friends #fictional friends #fictional friendships #merlin #arthur #merlin and arthur #sherlock holmes #sherlock #watson #john watson #holmes and watson #sherlock and watson #lord of the rings #the lord of the rings #sam #frodo #samwise gamgee #frodo baggins #sam and frodo #doctor who #the doctor #donna

[etraytin]

Directors cut for “Ourselves and Immortality” (I sobbed, btw, the whole way through it. SOBBED. Especially when Donna has to ID people. But I loved it.)

Ourselves and Immortality is by far the most depressing fic I have ever written, but thinking about it makes me happy because I FINALLY got it finished, woo-hoo! It started out as a one-shot (just like Such A Winter’s Day, in fact), at the beginning of my 100-Day-Fic-A-Day back in 2016. I was in a very creative mood back then and taking pretty much any prompt anybody threw at me. My husband, who is only a very casual TWW fan but gives good prompts, tossed me “Roger Tribbey’s first hour as President.” 

“Wow,” I mused, “Everybody’s going to hate that.” 

But the idea was too tantalizing to pass up; it was so completely unlike anything I had written so far. Even just doing the one-shot involved a fair amount of research, figuring out where Secretary of Agriculture falls in the order of succession and such. Turns out, basically everybody else has to die in order for Roger to land in the hot seat. And if President Bartlet, Vice President Hoynes, and the Cabinet were going down, it seemed obvious that most of the staff would be gone as well. This fic prompt came along just as Designated Survivor was getting started, so I didn't want to go the "terrorists blow up the State of the Union" route, because that felt too done. Unfortunately (or fortunately for real life) there's really not that many ways to take out the government that don't also take out Washington DC and that don't involve targeted building destruction. 

(This got kind of long and involved, so I’m tucking it behind a cut.)

I wound up reaching back into my sci-fi reading childhood, to an original series Star Trek novel called The Pandora Principle. In that novel, the crew discovers an alien artifact and takes it to Starfleet Headquarters for research, only for the artifact, secretly a weapon, to shatter when it is scanned and release a bioagent that eradicates all the oxygen in the air like a self-replicating virus. Everyone in the building dies except for Captain Kirk, who for shenanigan-related reasons is in a self-sealing bunker under the building, and the rest of the novel is devoted to trying to nullify the agent before it manages to escape the hermetically sealed building. It's a great book, evocative and claustrophobic, and I definitely recommend it, but for the purposes of what I thought was a quickie one-shot, I stole the idea of a weapon that could asphyxiate everyone in a building nearly faster than they could realize they were doomed. As the story developed I had to cobble together a little modern-Earth science to flesh it out, but I hoped that the story would hold without much in the way of explanation of how everything had happened. 

One thing that helped was that OaI was not, at its heart, an action adventure story. It was barely a mystery, really. Our main characters were not the ones charged with solving the mystery or catching the bad guy. For the most part, they were not even in direct danger (except for Syl's brief action turn at the end). We spent one chapter with Mike Casper as he investigated and one chapter with the bad guy to get some important creepy exposition, but by far the character we spend the most time with is Roger. It's not Roger's job to know what the Asphyxiant is made of or its exact biological effect, and it's not Roger's job to hunt the bad guys down like dogs in the street. Like pretty much every West Wing story, it's Roger's job to keep the country running, and it's the job of the people around him to help him. The story had to be about what was happening in The White House, with the action-adventure plot clicking along offscreen and occasionally cropping up in a phone call or Sit Room briefing. I had to avoid a lot of temptation, but in a way it made the job easier. West Wing stories are stories about relationships. 

Writing the canon characters was very hard, especially in the beginning. The thing that never caught for me about Designated Survivor was how quickly the survivors moved on after the disaster. Their friends and colleagues were murdered, and there was little indication that anybody even cared. But Margaret, Carol, Mrs. Landingham, Danny and especially Donna, these people were gutted. Every single one of them was utterly devastated, but from Roger's perspective it was hard to see because all of them are so good at their jobs and so dedicated, they'd keep carrying on as best they could until they collapsed. I decided pretty early on that I would start spreading the point of view around so we could see what the characters were going through in their own voices, but that only Roger would get more than one chapter. (I did break this rule right at the end; Donna gets the first and last non-Roger chapters in the story.) Roger's narrative ties the story together but being the President requires one to stay largely in one place while being told things, so spreading out the POV also gave the story a little more momentum.

Donna's first chapter was probably the hardest part of the story to write, both because I am a hardcore J/D shipper and I'd just shut the pairing down in the cruelest of ways, and also because it was through her eyes that I had to bring the scope of the horror home without fully traumatizing the readers. My first draft of the chapter included considerably more time in the refrigerated warehouse with the FBI team, and a lot more detail about the last minutes of the lives of the senior staffers. I ended up going through and cutting a lot of it out, leaving the audience to understand how terrible it was by the way it affected Donna, rather than by my descriptions of it. And yes, it is one of several chapters I cried while writing. There's a reason (several reasons, but my own feels especially) that I had to let Zoey and Charlie live!  And yes, Margaret was speaking for me when she admitted to temporarily forgetting about Annie and Gus, but we got around to them eventually. 

OaI wound up containing most of the material I wrote for it, but it has one deleted scene and one crackadelic alternate ending. The deleted scene occurs shortly before the state funeral and is from Bonnie's perspective; she and Ginger are trying to pack up Sam and Toby's offices to allow the new senior staffers to move in. I got it half-written, then thought I lost it in a computer-related accident. It was so damn sad to write the first time, and it was all character work and only smidgens of plot, and I was really mad about losing the work, so I decided to skip over it and go straight on to the next thing, which I believe may have been Zoey's chapter. It turned out that I did recover most of what I'd written for the chapter, but by the time I found it, the plot had moved on. I tried to make it up to Bonnie by giving her a nice little character bit and a job promotion at the end of the story. 

The crackadelic ending is sort of a long story. Most of the reason that OaI got finished despite all my life changes and busy years and general creative slump is that my parents both fell in love with it. You may ask, "Doesn't having your parents reading your fanfiction make things awkward sometimes?" and in answer I will point you to the number of real sex scenes in my published fanworks, which is zero. And then I will nod enthusiastically. But my dad, especially, loved this story and decided that he ought to be in it. And that he ought to be the Chief Justice. My dad is a retired judge, so he felt this should not be too much of a stretch for him, career-wise. I tried to explain the concept of self-insert to him, but then caved and created a thinly-veiled expy of him to be Chief Justice, then gave him a little ceremony in-story and a few extra mentions here and there. I gave him that chapter as a Christmas present, and he was happy! For awhile. Then he decided that he ought to be the President. I tried to explain to him that this is not how governmenting works, which he of course already knew, but he was firm. His Chief Justice character was great, and he ought to be President. He is nothing if not persistent, and also nothing if not hard to buy gifts for, so for Christmas the next year, I presented him with Chapter 28: The Surprise Noncanonical Epilogue, which has never before been published to the internet. It is very silly. 

This has gotten very long and I still need to write today's Quarantine Journal, so I guess I'll wrap it up there. If you have any specific questions about the story or any other stories, feel free to toss them my way! 

#the west wing #fanfiction #director's cut #ourselves and immortality #roger tribbey is the president #abandy

[eddycurrents]

For the week of 13 August 2018

Quick Bits:

Astonishing X-Men Annual #1 is a rather dark tale of reuniting the remaining members of the original five X-Men and the current creature claiming to be Charles Xavier running around as X. Given his attitude in Charles Soule’s run and now in this story penned by Matthew Rosenberg, there still seems to be something very wrong with the once altruistic, peaceful founder of the team. I personally don’t really like this character, but it still leads to a good story from Rosenberg, Travel Foreman, and Jim Charalampidis. 

| Published by Marvel

By Night #3 is another fun issue with a bit of a twist as we follow Heather’s father and Jane’s co-worker instead of the women. The voice John Allison gives to Heather’s father, Chip, is hilarious, the perfect mix of no-nonsense “dad” thought and aimless absurdity.

| Published by Boom Entertainment / Boom! Box

Cable & Deadpool Annual #1 is a very entertaining issue of time-travel nonsense and Deadpool being tricked into a recreation of the plot of Terminator from an obsessive stalker. David F. Walker packs this story with humour, creepy lesson teaching, and a bit of a monologue on the nature of comics storytelling. All nicely illustrated by a rogues gallery of Paco Diaz, Danilo S. Beyruth, Nick Bradshaw, Luke Ross, Marco Rudy, Edgar Salazar, Flaviano, Francesco Manna, Leonard Kirk, Chris Sotomayor, and Jason Keith.

| Published by Marvel

Coda #4 packs the issue with more stunning artwork, from character designs to page layouts and panel transitions, by Matías Bergara (with colour assists from Michael Doig). This series is just a visual treat. It also helps that the story from Bergara and Si Spurrier is equally incredible, taking many of the traditional forms and modes of fantasy literature and turning them into something new. The opening poem outlining the fall of the world and the rise of Sir Hum’s wife is particularly inspired. 

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Coyotes #5 is a welcome return for this series after the trade break, beginning a new story-arc that goes more in depth to the history between the wolves and the grandmothers, as the book’s purpose pivots to the offence. I love the ingenuity of the mythology of this story being built by Sean Lewis and Caitlin Yarsky. Also, like the first four issues, Yarsky’s art is just stunning.

| Published by Image

Crowded #1 is great. The concept of tapping into our current app-driven and crowdfunded world is brilliant, especially as extended to an assassination app in reapr. Christopher Sebela, Ro Stein, Ted Brandt, Triona Farrell, and Cardinal Rae seem to have captured magic in a bottle here and the execution is just phenomenal. The characters of Charlie and Vita are instantly relatable, the premise is on fire, and the art is exceptional. I really want to see what Charlie isn’t telling us.

| Published by Image

Ether: Copper Golems #4 is another stunning visual feast from David Rubín. Seriously, he has outdone himself this issue, as he handles the usual fantasy sequences, then changes art styles several times as we get our characters living out some of their fantasies. His work is just stunning. The story that he and Matt Kindt are telling just keeps getting better and better.

| Published by Dark Horse

Extermination #1 begins the next big X-Men event with a bang as past, present, future, and alternate universes collide in this explosive issue. I feel like discussing just about any piece of it is a spoiler, so I’ll just suggest that if you’re at all interested in the original five brought to our time, you need to read this. Ed Brisson, Pepe Larraz, and Marte Gracia present an impressive opening salvo.

| Published by Marvel

Flavor #4 is a bit of a piece-shuffling issue, as Xoo spends a bit of time in jail and we get a couple more hints as to the something that is being done with children. Although we still don’t know what, and a bit of a revelation of Anant’s mother. Joseph Keatinge, Wook Jin Clark, and Tamra Bonvillain continue to work wonders on this series. Highly recommended for all ages. 

| Published by Image

Gideon Falls #6 ups the level of weird in this concluding chapter of the first arc. To say that the implications of that final page are confusing, compelling, and chilling is an understatement, as Jeff Lemire, Andrea Sorrentino, and Dave Stewart construct one of the oddest instalments of this series yet. A lot of this series has been in building tone and atmosphere, spooky unexplained happenings, and here the story goes full David Lynch. It’s wonderful.

| Published by Image

The Gravediggers Union #9 is the conclusion to what has been an exciting and different take on the occult and elder gods mythology from Wes Craig, Toby Cypress, and Niko Guardia. Fittingly, this end comes down to the family conflict that this arc has revolved around, and it’s a well played out finale. I highly recommend this series.

| Published by Image

Hunt for Wolverine: The Claws of a Killer #4 is probably the least satisfying “conclusion” of these minis so far, giving us a kind of hand-wavy explanation for what they were tracking, no insight into the organization who brought about these zombies while resurrecting family members, and Daken shuffled off to who knows where. Mariko Tamaki successfully captures the tone and atmosphere of many of the original Wolverine series stories laced with action and black ops, but unfortunately also carries on its tradition of obfuscation instead of an enticing mystery. Nice art from Butch Guice, Mack Chater, Cam Smith, and Jordan Boyd, though.

| Published by Marvel

Ice Cream Man #6 is highly inventive, even for a series as highly imaginative already that this one is. Instead of one story, here, W. Maxwell Prince, Martín Morazzo, and Chris O’Halloran give us three different flavours to fulfill the “Strange Neapolitan”. It’s a mostly silent issue of three different paths our protagonist can possibly take with each of them presenting their own flavour of horror. This is a really great issue.

| Published by Image

Infinity Wars #2 is pretty damn epic. I know that the pieces will be reshuffled and everything will be put back together more or less as we found it, but hot damn are Gerry Duggan, Mike Deodato Jr., and Frank Martin working overtime to tell a heavy story here. The art is some of the best I’ve ever seen from Deodato and Martin and the stakes have just ratcheted through the roof. I’m loving every moment of this book so far.

| Published by Marvel

The Lost City Explorers #3 is still doling out the tension as the kids continue to try to evade Sagan security on their way to try to find Hel and Homer Coates’ father’s discovery site under New York City. We’re still only get bits and pieces before a revelation of whatever the discovery actually is, but Zack Kaplan, Alvaro Sarraseca, and Dee Cunniffe are still presenting a compelling story.

| Published by AfterShock

Luke Cage #1 is another digital original like Cloak & Dagger and Jessica Jones, and also like the latter series offers two chapters at once, and is really rather good, from Anthony Del Col, Jahnoy Lindsay, and Ian Herring. This sets up an interesting mystery of a strange kind of serial killer, the possibility of Luke suffering from CTE, and the wonderful family dynamic between Luke and his daughter.

| Published by Marvel

The Magic Order #3 continues as a slow burn as Madame Albany and her coterie keep working their way through murdering her family members, all while those family members attempt to track down information on who her assassin is and how to stop him. Mark Millar, Olivier Coipel, and Dave Stewart are crafting a wonderful story here that reminds me a bit of Wanted, but good and about magic.

| Published by Image

Multiple Man #3 takes a particularly dark turn as Matthew Rosenberg, Andy MacDonald, and Tamra Bonvillain toss us into the dark future where an evil Madrox reigns. Of the dark futures where the X-Men stories have taken place, this is probably one of the most twisted, even as Rosenberg peppers it with some nice humour. The throw rug in particular is hilarious.

| Published by Marvel

Ninja-K #10 is a single issue story focusing on Ninja-H and the horrors that soldiers can have to deal with and how they sometimes cope with it. It has some great art from Larry Stroman, Ryan Winn, and Andrew Dalhouse.

| Published by Valiant

Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man #308 is probably the best issue of this series since Chip Zdarsky and Michael Walsh’s single issue story of Peter and Jonah hashing it out in issue 6. Zdarsky shows us here that he really excels at getting into the head’s of some of the characters, giving us a good look from their perspective, and humanizing them. He does that here with Flint Marko, the Sandman, and it feels like an interesting transition to something else. It also helps that it’s wonderfully illustrated by Chris Bachalo and his usual team of inkers of Tim Townsend, Al Vey, Wayne Faucher, and John Livesay. This is a great start and I’m excited to see what comes next for this story.

| Published by Marvel

Rumble #6 begins this volume’s second arc and is the other series with glorious David Rubín artwork this week (this one with colours from Dave Stewart). I love this book, with its fun mix of humour and arcane magic and fantasy, and how John Arcudi, originally James Harren, now Rubín have built the characters, the overall story, and the absolutely beautiful artwork.

| Published by Image

Stellar #3 takes an interesting look at the existential price of war and at the notion of “you can never go home again” in this somewhat depressing, but no less entertaining, issue.

| Published by Image / Skybound

Thor #4 is the glorious conclusion to this opening arc sending Thor to Niffleheim to fight Sindr in this leg of the War of the Realms. The artwork from Mike del Mundo is incredible.

| Published by Marvel

Tony Stark: Iron Man #3 builds another largely single issue story into the larger arc, with a beta test of Tony’s new eScape platform. I like how Dan Slott and Valerio Schiti have been approaching this series and building up Stark’s supporting cast, while also progressing the recurring subplot of Bethany Cabe’s subterfuge and X-51′s newfound robot rights activism.

| Published by Marvel

Volition #1 is another interesting debut from AfterShock, this time focusing on a world featuring artificial intelligence that hasn’t sparked an apocalypse, instead adapting and continuing on as just another class within society, fighting to survive and combat prejudice like their human counterparts, as created by Ryan Parrott and Omar Francia. The art is gorgeous and a real driving factor for the story, Francia’s style reminds me a bit of JG Jones and it’s incredible.

| Published by AfterShock

Weapon H #6 continues to be that weird, offbeat comic from Marvel that used to be published in the ‘80s or ‘90s that nobody read, but was actually rather good. Greg Pak has been doing a great job of building up this rather eclectic cast of characters and the art has been wonderful. Here Ario Anindito takes on the art chores with Morry Hollowell and it’s quite nice. His style reminds me a bit of Brian Hurtt mixed with Leinil Yu and it really fits the gritty action of the story.

| Published by Marvel

Weapon X #22 is more irreverent fun with the “new” Weapon X-Force team as they follow the money instead of altruistic reasons for saving people (though their second mission out already sees a reversion to the old remit). It’s a not-so-serious take on what is almost a team entirely composed of villains with a good sense of humour and action from Greg Pak, Fred Van Lente, Yildiray Cinar, and Frank D’Armata. It’s also another good place for some obscure X-mythology insertions and follow-ups in the story. 

| Published by Marvel

The Weatherman #3 continues to keep readers a little off balance with some of the elements in the story, echoing what’s going on with out protagonist, Nathan Bright. Jody LeHeup, Nathan Fox, and Dave Stewart are crafting something here that feels a lot like some of the zanier action strips from 2000 AD and it’s pretty glorious.

| Published by Image

Other Highlights: Analog #5, Babyteeth #12, Cinema Purgatorio #15, Crude #5, Deadpool: Assassin #5, Doctor Strange #4, Edge of Spider-Geddon #1, Evolution #9, Infinity 8 #5, Jeepers Creepers #4, Jim Henson’s Beneath the Dark Crystal #2, Jughead: The Hunger #7, Mage: The Hero Denied #11, Manifest Destiny #36, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers #30, Mysticons - Volume 1, Proxima Centauri #3, RuinWorld #2, Sherlock Holmes: The Vanishing Man #4, Spider: School’s Out #6, Star Trek: The Next Generation - Terra Incognita #2, Star Wars: Beckett #1, Star Wars: Poe Dameron #30, Summit #8, TMNT: Bebop & Rocksteady Hit the Road #3, TMNT: Urban Legends #4, Usagi Yojimbo: The Hidden #5, The Wicked + The Divine #38, Witchfinder: The Gates of Heaven #4

Recommended Collections: Bettie Page - Volume 2: Model Agent, East of West - Volume 8, Hellboy: The Complete Short Stories - Volume 2, Kill or Be Killed - Volume 4, Old Man Hawkeye - Volume 1: An Eye for an Eye, , Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man - Volume 3: Amazing Fantasy, Rose - Volume 2, Transformers: Lost Light - Volume 3

d. emerson eddy has now been doing this incarnation of weekly round-ups for a year. Has it really been that long?

#This Week in Comics

[mikelenihan]

Purchasing Charlottesville Luxury Homes using FHA Loans

Toby Beavers Realtor

FHA loans are a fantastic option not just first-time homebuyers but for many buyers looking to purchase a Charlottesville luxury home with a low-down payment and flexible credit options. As there are ways to get around having purchased a home in the past. Plus, you can qualify for an FHA loan even if you have a credit score as low as 500.

There are so many facets of an FHA loan so choosing the right loan will save you the most money and get you into the house that you love. So, get with a qualified and PATIENT Charlottesville mortgage broker to discuss the numerous options.

As you probably know, FHA loans are insured and backed by HUD which means is if you stop paying your mortgage, the lender will foreclose on you and HUD will come back into the transaction and give your lender their money back. This will not help you in the long run as you will be out of the home, but it sure makes getting a loan easier.

Carrying an FHA loan for longer than you need can be costly. It is a good short-term option but not long term as the rules on your loan will tighten.

Many local Charlottesville lenders during COVID-19 will tell you the minimum credit score is 640 but that is not true. It is still a 500-credit score, but many Charlottesville luxury home lenders are choosing a 640-credit score especially if you are self-employed and the FHA will want strong evidence of seeing your on-going income during COVID-19.

The minimum FHA down payment quoted is 3.5% but your down payment will eventually be tied to your credit score. The good news is you can use collateralized loans such as a 401k loan or home equity loan to be able to qualify for the down payment and closing costs. But not unsecured and personal loans or credit card. You can however use a family gift or loan to go towards our closing cost or down payment.

There are also local down payment assistance programs, but most are worthless. To recap, FHA loans are an excellent tool to purchase Charlottesville luxury homes, Charlottesville luxury condos, or Charlottesville luxury townhouses. Just ask your neighbors…Toby Beavers Charlottesville Luxury Realtor – https://www.tobybeaversrealtor.com

This blog post is originally from Purchasing Charlottesville Luxury Homes using FHA Loans and written by Toby Beavers

source https://www.tobybeaversrealtor.com/purchasing-charlottesville-luxury-homes-using-fha-loans/ Purchasing Charlottesville Luxury Homes using FHA Loans published first on https://www.tobybeaversrealtor.com/ from Mike Lenihan https://ift.tt/2YQWtsI

[2020laxteentour]

Returning Home…

The 2020 WECCAN Tour was truly one to remember and tops the charts for me, just following behind 2017’s Miami trip, but I think that’s because it happened to be my first. This tour allowed me to embrace in the culture and lifestyle of those who live in California while also continuing to allow us to help a community other than our own. As being people from the east coast this experience gave us the opportunity to see and be a part of things that you could only dream of or see on TV. While on this tour we were also shown just how close those who are less fortunate are to those who bask in wealth. Almost as if they lay right within the shadows of the big city. Finally, this tour to California, for me, was in memory of the late great Toby Mekhail Wanye Holt, who also happens to be my big brother. California was always something that he loved and truly admired from a far. With that one of his dreams was to travel to, and possibly live in, California, and with that trip I feel I made a part of that happen. Thank you Dr. Mike for this opportunity, until next time. -Bobby H.

This service learning installment to Los Angeles and San Diego was definitely one to remember and is now one of my favorites. No one should take anything they saw or heard lightly. Many people take things for granted and don’t realize what they have until it’s gone. I am glad someone took a chance with me and saw the best in me even when I still have a hard time seeing the best in myself. I honestly believe in my heart that WeCCAAN helped shape the person I am today and the person I still strive to be. I am very grateful to have been a part of this tour and hope to be a part of another one sooner than later! -Kristen L.

The Final Day! This trip was truly inspiring, the work that we had done that helped a community in LA DURING A PANDEMIC is something that I will always remember and use to motivate me in the future. It will make me think of strength and resilience and push me to strive harder. I was able to see Wealth and Poverty stricken areas in neighboring communities. The difference between the two was astonishing but I was not surprised by the difference of care and attention each one had gotten. The people on this trip have made this trip one of the best parts. Since coming out of quarantine for the past few months it’s was exciting to be able to be around others for a chance and just catch up with everyone since last seeing them in Chicago. I truly have made new friends that having meaningful connections through our shared experiences in different cities thanks to WECCAAN. -Marcus R.

Another successful WeCCAAN experience in the books. I don’t have words for it... just a feeling. A feeling that I wish I could bottle up and keep forever.  These tours are always the highlight of my year and this one didn’t fail me. I’m so blessed and grateful for the opportunity. -TeShania B.

Arriving on Crenshaw Blvd. was epic. We didn't just view we made an impact, by clearing away garbage around the alley where "The Marathon" was located. The legacy of Nipsey Hussle shows on several different structures in the surrounding area. As we took our journeys up and down Slouson the community embraced the service we were giving, and that's wonderful because it's the community whom we serve. Being a part of change is a pride for me, the thrill of being able to see and make a difference brings joy within. Exploring California was so exciting from San Diego to Venice Beach and the Hollywood Walk of Fame the sight was great to see. Seeing the different structures of architecture and taking bites into the different dishes they had to offer, I can say I left Cali full. Full of life, knowledge, love and connections. -Tia J.

The overall trip was very impactful. Every place we visited.....the college campuses, skid row, the beaches, etc. left an lasting impression on my heart. I have shared pictures and stories with my daughter and close friends because I honestly feel like this trip has grown me and stretched me in a way that will help me be a better a person for myself and my community. Knowing that we were able to sow back into Nipsey Hussle’s neighborhood was heart warming, a lot of people come for the pictures, but we left an impression on the people there. The college campus tours sparked an interest in me to get back into school to finish pursuing my degree in Social Work. I'm so thankful for the opportunity to serve and be a part of this amazing experience. -Patrice C.

This morning on the beach we had time for reflections. Spent time with the ocean and God. It was beautiful. Dr. Mike’s words reminded me, you’re not promised tomorrow. Do what God has for you every day you wake up. Live with purpose, honor the lords ordered steps for your life. Serve. Be kind. Travel. And take it all in. Every experience. Create memories. Ultimately LOVE HARD. Grateful for each and every soul I’ve met in this trip. It was magical. Thanks a Bunch. -Toquetta C.

I really liked coming to California. It was fun. I don't like how California has Skid Row, their own street for homeless people. And how so much people are homeless but some were nice. Cleaning up the streets was fun and people were thanking us. I'll remember feeling the cold water of the Pacific and seeing a lot of Porsches and only a little bit of Ferraris. -Jamil B.

My overall experience with WECCAAN in California was great. On TV they only show the pretty and nice side of California and that’s what I somewhat expected but when I came here I realized it wasn’t what it was to be. For example it’s not always warm, skid road and the large amount of homeless people which would be expected since the cost of living is expensive. Another thing that I realized that the water in the ocean here is much colder than the water in Miami. I can’t wait for the next trip. -Jordan B.

SECOND VISIT--AUGUST 21ST-23RD

The WeCCAAN tours are always a pleasure to go on with the coordinator, Dr. Mike. I was a bit upset when I was not able to with him to L.A. for the first tour, but someone donated the funds needed for a part two of the tour. I am very grateful for the donor who decided to fund the part two of the trip. I always wanted to visit L.A. and when Dr. Mike said that there would be a part two, I jumped on the opportunity to go with them. This was my first time being on a plane and I was a bit nervous flying on one, especially by myself, but once the plane took off and we were in the air, it was like we left the nervousness and all the small troubles on the ground. When I finally got to L.A., we hit the ground running just like we always do. From start to finish, the entire tour was an experience and a pleasure to be a part of. My favorite part of these tours is always the community service parts because it lets me give back to the people and allows me to be a part of something bigger than myself. I always enjoy my time with WeCCAAN and I look forward to the next tour! -Javon B. (PART II)

The overall weekend was absolutely amazing! From the lessons from Dr. Mike to the various sights we were able to see. It was a blessing to be able to come on this trip and meet some very amazing young professionals and/or students. Bonding and getting to hear everyone’s story was also a highlight because we were able to learn so so much from each other in just a few short days! Skid Row, Watts Towers and evening Manhattan Beach after some research were all such eye openers. The things that somehow got left out of our history books unfortunately. Nonetheless I am forever grateful for this tour and the constant drive to educate and open doors for young people all over the world! Thank you! -Sierra W. (PART II)

My overall experience this weekend was great. It was nice getting to meet new people and reconnecting with returners. Skid Row was the most touching part to me. A lot of times people talk about poor countries but in reality, the United States of America has its own poverty-filled sections that continue to be overlooked. I am glad I was able to join WeCCAAN for part two of the Los Angeles tour! -Kristen L. (PART II)

This weekend was kind of surreal. Being able to travel during corona was a big feat in itself. I didn't really allow myself to be tired until it was time to go to bed so I took in so much of the city while we were just driving. I honestly had the best time that I've had in while. Going to see how Hollywood looks in real life, seeing the Staples Center, seeing a bit of Crenshaw, and especially seeing Skid Row demystified a lot of what I expected Los Angeles to be. I just feel so blessed that this second trip happened and that I was able to go this time around. My favorite part of the trip was probably Venice Beach. Seeing all of the creativity and freeness of the people there reminded me a lot of a larger scale Little Five Points. Although, I do have to admit that the amount of people there was a little bit alarming given that we are in the middle of a pandemic but nevertheless I enjoyed people watching and just taking and breathing in the fact that I was in California and not Georgia like I've been pretty much all year. Seeing historical places like Watts Towers and being able to walk Rodeo Dr almost took me aback at how blessed I've been to be able to do what not even my parents have done made the trip even better. I really enjoyed my time here and I can't wait til I have the means and opportunity to come again. -Kasamba A. (PART II)

Wrapping up LA and reflecting on the beach thinking about everything I did over the weekend makes me feel like I was able to carry on a piece of token.  Several tokens to be exact... I’m glad I was able to join in on another service trip! Of course every service tour is different but this trip was very different for me.  Being able to help clean up Skid Row and communicating with them filled my heart with extra care for them.  The tour of the beaches was very beautiful and also learning the history behind Manhattan Beach.  Looking forward to help and serve another community and learn their importance. -Joy F. (PART II)

[d2kvirus]

Dickheads of the Month: September 2019

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of September 2019 to make sure that they are never forgotten.

As if proven liar Boris Johnson suspending parliament to try and force through a No Deal Britait at the end of August didn’t look dictatorial enough, he then moved on to threatening and Tory MP who doesn't fall in line with deselection - and yet, rather than call this the obviously despotic move that it is, instead the media spent more time focusing on him adopting a fucking dog

Master strategist Dominic Cummings said that, rather than listen to “rich Remainers” in London, people should listen to those all over the country - which certainly helped, as Cummings’ genius idea to have proven liar Alexander Boris De Pfeffel Johnson walk the streets of Morley and Doncaster saw said proven liar have to listen to the non-rich giving him both barrels for being responsible for the mess we are currently in

Not only did Laura Kuenssberg repeat what the press did with Carrie Symonds’ neighbours and throw around the term “Labour activist” to dismiss the very real concerns of the father whose daughter was in the understaffed hospital that proven liar Boris Johnson visited for a press op and then called out the proven liar’s claims it wasn’t a press op by pointing to the camera crew a few feet away, but she went one step further by doxxing the person by posting one of his tweets to her Twitter timeline, which unsurprisingly led to him getting a dog’s abuse from people because he dared say bad things about proven liar Boris Johnson - abuse he would not have got if Kuenssberg hadn’t doxxed him to her 1.1m Twitter followers, all because she wanted to distract attention from the fact her beloved BoBo had been caught on camera lying to someone’s face

...and it wasn’t long before the BBC proved their blatant double standards, having circled the wagons around Kuenssberg to say she did nothing wrong while doxxing a member of the public, yet disciplining Naga Munchetty for an off-the-cuff remark about the Orange Overlord saying Trump saying non-whites who criticise him should “go back where they came from” is racist

There is nothing sinister about Dominic Cummings saying that, if MPs wants to stop receiving death threats, they need to get Britait done.  Absolutely nothing sinister about that at all...

When Jacob Rees Mogg wasn’t literally lying in parliament, he was dismissing the genuine concerns of neurologist Dr David Nicholl by comparing his concerns to those of anti-vaxxer Andrew Wakefield, who was struck off for giving erroneous advice

I’m trying to work out if Justin Trudeau forgot about the whole wearing blackface thing, or merely assumed everyone else had.  Either way, at best he could generously be accused of gross naivety - especially when the second round of photos came out, after he tried to pass it off as a one-time prank

So not only did proven liar Boris Johnson sound supremely cuntish by saying that leaving the EU would honour the memory of Jo Cox - that’s the same Jo Cox who, while campaigning for Remain, was murdered by a member of Britain First - but when quizzed on this Bernard Jenkin could only respond about the stress that the proven liar was under, because as we all know the real victim is the person who said something monumentally dense and not the person murdered by a member of the far-right on the streets of their constituency

If anyone can explain what the hell compelled Stephen Kinnock to suddenly decide that Theresa May’s deal should have yet another going over in parliament in spite it being defeated three times already and her not even being PM at this point, let alone why he wanted to bring this up at the moment No Deal was being defanged, I would love to hear it

Something compelled Quentin Letts to compare the recently-deceased Robert Mugabe to Boris Johnson...as a compliment

Compelling argument against nominative determinism James Cleverly thought he was being clever by keeping up the “chicken” jibes against Jeremy Corbyn that proven liar Boris Johnson and his cronies at The Sun had been keeping up for days in a desperate attempt to pretend Corbyn hadn’t spotted an obvious tarp by Dominic Cummings and sidestepped it...right up until his stunt ended up seeing the entire Tory party get bitchslapped by Kentucky Fried Chicken

...and it wasn’t long before proven liar Boris Johnson rendered all jibes of Corbyn being “chicken” laughable when he responded to some heckling when visiting Luxembourg by publicly running away from a press conference with Luxembourg’s PM 

According to Kwasi Kwarteng there are people up and down the country questioning the impartiality of the Scottish judges who ruled Boris Johnson’s prorogation of parliament unlawful.  Just a reminder, Kwasi Kwarteng is the Business Secretary and not a Youtube right-wing conspiracy nut

Waffling gargoyle Nigel Farage has decided that those dozens of appearances on BBC political programming over the last decade were examples of the BBC being biased against him, and he;s boycotting all future appearances.  He neglected to mention whether or not any other member of The Nigel Farage Ego Project would follow suit...

We saw just how little credibility Laura Kuenssberg has on the 2nd September edition of The Six O’Clock News where she stood outside 10 Downing Street talking about how proven liar Boris Johnson would be calling a snap election, only for her to be cut off mid-sentence by the proven liar walking out to waffle for five minutes where the only thing of note he said that wasn’t an easily-debunked lie was that there would be no election...and once he was finished Kuenssberg continued talking about a snap election as if she hadn’t been stood less than twenty feet away when it was said there would be no election

The fact that nobody was surprised when James Cleverly falsely claimed that the Tories created the NHS during the Tory conference isn’t a surprise - not least because it’s not even the first time Cleverly has made that patently false claim 

It would appear that Alan Sugar misses the days that he and not Alexander Boris De Pfeil Johnson was being held up as the British answer to Donald Trump, judging by his posting a tweet taking aim at the dogwhistlers’ favourite target Diane Abbott

We are supposed to feel sorry for David Cameron after his memoirs stated that he thought that Boris Johnson and Michael Gove behaved “appallingly” before and during the EU Referendum campaign.  If only the party leader did something about this, which they were in the position to do, and what was the name of the leader of the Tories at that moment in time again...?

Forgetting that we’re supposed to be calling Jeremy Corbyn a chicken, instead our good and honest friends at the Daily Mail instead ran an article about how awful it was that Jeremy Corbyn supported the Guildford Four’s Paul Hill.  That’s the Paul Hill who, like the other members of the Guildford Four (and the Maguire Seven) were threatened, beaten and tortured by the police and served fifteen years in jail for being members of the IRA in spite of the fact that they weren’t members of the IRA nor plotted any terror attacks, and the Mail thinks it’s bad to show support for someone who was a victim of one of the worst miscarriages of justice in British history

It’s a bit rich for Rachel Riley to be the face of the Don’t Feed The Trolls campaign considering her history of harassing, doxxing and encouraging pile-ons on anyone who disagrees with her

Sentient testicle Toby Young thought he was being really, really clever when he accused Phillip Hammond of an “anti-semitic conspiracy theory” after Hammond stated that the sole reason for proven liar Boris Johnson trying to take the UK out of the EU by October 31st is to help out his speculator mates - although the cleverness rapidly evaporated when Hammond responded personally with a threat of suing for libel, and for some strange reason Young’s really, really clever tweet vanished off the face of the earth

...and because Toby Young has to be Toby Young about things, rather than keep his head down after Hammond’s threat of legal action instead he came rushing to the defence of the proven liar by saying that female Spectator employees felt upset if they weren’t groped by proven liar Boris Johnson, which is not only the defence of the rapist but his “defence” only serves to say that proven liar Boris Johnson has a history of groping

It’s as if The Sun have decided they can go back to their pre-Leveson levels of scumbaggery, judging by how they’d both told Gareth Thomas’ parents he was HIV positive and threatened to publish it, as well as reporting how two members of Ben Stokes’ family had been shot and killed several years ago without actually obtaining consent from Stokes before splashing it across their front page

...and right on their heels was the Daily Mail doxxing Jo Maughan for the sole purpose of...nope, no idea why they felt the need to do so, but they did it anyway

If Steve Baker thought he was helping the Leave side look non-deranged, his claiming that proven liar Boris Johnson is moving the Tories back to the centre ground failed to do that on a molecular level

It’s all well and good the Liberal Democrats acting as if bringing in Luciana Berger and Angela “funny tinge” Smith as MPs is some kind of major breakthrough...but they sure kept it quiet that they wouldn’t be defending the parliamentary seats they’ve been squatting in since February

So nice of Mike Gapes to join the dogwhistling brigade with his deciding to highlight Diane Abbott’s poor use of grammar...by highlighting that she was using grammar correctly while Gapes’ attempts at grammar bullying only served to highlight his grasp of the English language could be better

It says it all that the Daily Mail was encouraging their readers to stop sponsoring the RNLI for the crime of using 2% of those donations to support causes abroad

To nobody’s surprise, as soon as John Humphrys was out the door he harrumphed about the BBC’s “liberal bias” to the Daily Mail - as if over thirty years of his using the Today programme as a platform of his right-wing views and generally being a miserable twat

How generous of Tim Martin to say that, as the UK had left the Customs Union, Wetherspoons could now charge 20p less per pint...except Britain hadn’t left the Customs Union, revealing that Martin could have cut prices long ago if he wanted to, but he obviously felt he didn’t need to as the chain’s profits weren’t nosediving as a direct consequence of Tim Martin alienating half of his customer base for the past three years

According to reports, Nicalis head honcho Tyrone Rodriguez went to the same business school as Channel Awesome supremo Mike Michaud, judging by the reports coming out that he would go weeks without answering any calls - which is not what an indie dev who sent their game over to Nicalis to be ported wants to discover - as well as a laundry list of evidence of him not realising he isn't a 14-year old edgelord who can only talk in raicst, antisemitic, homophobic or ablest slurs, on top of his charming habit of bullying members of staff

In the latest attempt by PewDipShit to prove he's not beholden to the alt-right section of his fanbase he offered to donate $50,000 to the Anti-Defamation League...and when that same alt-right section of his fanbase kicked up a fuss, he cancelled the donation and waffled about “taking responsibility” while demonstrating that how averse he is to the idea

This month it was John Ocasio-Nolte who was getting insanely triggered by Greta Thunburg, taking to Twitter to suggest she either needs to be spanked or receive psychological counselling (which worked about as well as can be expected the second the tweet was posted) while Dinesh D’Souza said she looks just like images used for Nazi propaganda as if that means anything other than Dinesh D’Souza spend hours going through Google image searches to try and find something, anything that would serve as the basis of an utterly batshit proclamation that his moron followers would swallow

Not a good look for Focus Home Entertainment to decide that, once their deal to distribute Frogwares’ games expired, their solution would be to drop all of Frogwares’ games from every online store - yet rather than return the code to Frogwares, instead they’d be keeping those as well because if Focus Home can’t sell those games, no-one can

It’s not a surprise to see The Sun forgot the faux outrage they stoked last December at trying to say Jeremy Corbyn called Theresa may a “stupid woman” (even though any lipreader will tell you he said “stupid people” of the entire Tory front bench) judging by their response to proven liar Boris Johnson calling Corbyn a “big girl’s blouse” was to dispatch one of their hacks to Corbyn’s house the following dya waving an item of women’s clothing at him, seemingly under the impression this looked anything other than mad

Meanwhile The Daily Telegraph wrote a piece comparing waffling gargoyle Nigel Farage to Britait’s Icarus...somehow forgetting how the story of Icarus ended

Britain’s most triggered man Piers Moron Morgan took to Twitter to howl about how Dora the Explorer discourages men from becoming explorers.  I’m guessing that he forgot how Indiana Jones and Nathan Drake exist...

What would a month be without Donald Trump doing something utterly lunkheaded?  Not this month, that’s for sure, judging by his response to mistakenly claiming that Hurricane Dorian was heading to Alabama wasn’t to admit the mistake or even never mention it again, but instead draw on a weather map with a Sharpie to make it look like Dorian’s path would now head into Alabama - so not only did he prove he can’t admit to being wrong, but he’s so thin-skinned his being wrong eats at him so much he can’t let his being wrong go, which only draws attention to his being wrong in the first place

#dickheads of the month

[junker-town]

3 modest suggestions to rebrand VAR

Tottenham-Manchester City showed that the term “VAR” isn’t quite up to the chaos that video replay wreaks on sports.

Hello, and welcome back to Tactically Naive, SB Nation’s weekly soccer column. We begin with a confession: didn’t even make it to halftime of the Super Bowl. Disgraceful.

State of the VARt

The Premier League is getting desperate. Once, it drew viewers in with thrilling title races. Now, as Liverpool canter away into the distance, it is forced to stoop to offering low farce and cheap hilarity.

Which suits Tactically Naive fine, of course. We’ve always preferred low farce and cheap hilarity to good football. As such, Manchester City’s visit to Tottenham was everything we could have hoped for. Jose Mourinho clowning around. Pep Guardiola looking angry and stressed. A debut goal for a young lad who was so excited he forgot how to celebrate. City thumping Spurs by 19 shots to three; Spurs mugging City, 2-0.

And then there was VAR. It was a big day for the Premier League’s eye in the sky. First the video referee declined to upgrade Raheem Sterling’s mistimed tackle/ankle stamp from yellow to red. Mourinho was upset about this. Then a penalty was given some two minutes after the relevant incident, though Hugo Lloris saved it. Mourinho was pleased.

But! After making that save, the ball ran loose, and Sterling pounced. Lloris scrambled out, and intercepted Sterling (or the ball, or both, or neither depending who you ask). Again to VAR, but no penalty this time. Mourinho: pleased. Until he realised that Sterling could have picked up a second yellow for diving, which sent his mood swinging right back round to upset again. Honestly, being Mourinho seems exhausting.

One of the oddities of VAR is the way it sounds, in coverage and conversation. Tactically Naive is as guilty as anybody here, but calling VAR “VAR” does rather hint at something grander and more sinister than what we actually have. VAR is just another referee, watching television. With this in mind, Tactically Naive is beginning a campaign to rename VAR to something better. Here are some options.

”Another referee, watching television”

It’s not as catchy as “VAR”, perhaps, but it’s a whole lot more reflective of what’s actually going on.

One of the odd things about football — as opposed to other sports that employ video refereeing, such as rugby and cricket — is that it has barely tried to humanize the officials behind the screen. You don’t get to hear their voices, and you get only the vaguest pictures of them hard at work.

This is exacerbated in the Premier League by a widespread refusal to consult pitch-side monitors. On TV, pictures appear and lines are drawn. In the stadium, nothing. The on-field referee holds his hand to his ear. The optics are conspiratorial.

Just think how much more ordinary, and so much less enraging, VAR could be if this went out over the tannoy: “Hi, Mike. What do you reckon?” “Hi, Mike. Hang on, just having a look.” “No worries.” “There we go. Hmm. Roll that back again? Yeah, not a red for me, Mike.” “Thanks, Mike.” “Pleasure. Best of luck with the rest of the game.”

Sure, you could still disagree with the decision. But at least you’d know you were disagreeing with a couple of human beings and not some vast all-measuring supercomputer.

”The Panopticon”

Or perhaps the best way around “VAR” is to lean into it Big Brother-ness. We’d need to tweak things here, just a little. The Panopticon should make one or two inexplicable, unexplained decisions early in every game. Nothing serious, of course. Reverse a throw-in award here; order a corner retake there. Just enough so that everybody on the field and in the stands knows that the Panopticon might be watching.

And then, after everything that happens, an agonising wait. Will a decision come? It might. Oh, it might. It might … nope, not this time. The big red eye has passed on.

Obviously we’d need a giant red eye, but that shouldn’t prove too much trouble.

While “The Panopticon” might not give us confidence in regards to replays ability to make “correct decisions,” it would helpfully anchor the sense of paranoia that all football fans have towards officialdom in general. This, paradoxically, might calm everything down a bit. When you suspect you’re the victim of a vast and sprawling conspiracy, you get a little jumpy. But when you know you are? Then you can relax and enjoy the game.

A side benefit would be that video referees, having established their supervision early, can sneak out of the game early to get on with something more useful. You don’t need the Panopticon to be watching all the time, after all. You just need the possibly-watched to know that they’re being possibly-watched. Get the referees out volunteering a doing some good.

”Mike Dean”

Or perhaps we should go further still. Mourinho, Guardiola, Sterling — they gave it a go, but the most compelling presence on the pitch this Sunday was, of course, Mike Dean, who remains undefeated and will rule the Barclays forever.

There will be no better passage of play this season than Dean booking Toby Alderweireld and then stalking through a crowd of terrified players, yellow card in hard, looking for his second victim. Players bug-eyed in fear. Raheem Sterling whispering prayers. A stadium and a nation quivering in anticipation.

Where is he going? His card’s still out. It’s Sterling! He’s going to send Sterling off! Pep’s going to pop! No, no, he’s passed Sterling. What the hell— Oleg Zinchenko! Obviously!

So let’s call VAR “Mike Dean” and be done with it. The man can carry on refereeing; it’s the myth we need. Set him up as an explanatory black box above English football: incidents go into Mike Dean, decisions come out, and neither you nor Tactically Naive needs to actually know the mechanisms. We think we want decisions to be right, but we don’t; we want decisions to feel appropriate. And there is nothing so appropriate to the Premier League as Mike Dean.

Insert tab A into slot B

Lionel Messi did something ridiculous this weekend. Nothing new there, perhaps, but still: he’s the greatest footballer ever and we’ll miss him when he’s gone. And this weekend’s particular slice of ridiculousness was a through-ball to the feet of Ansu Fati, just 17. It comes with an overtone of torch-passing. One day, all this will be yours.

No pressure, lad. Anyway, here’s the pass. Look at this thing. Look at it.

A quickfire double from Ansu Fati! The 17-year-old has Barca 2-0 up and in complete control What a pass from Messi to set the first goal up too! pic.twitter.com/jrbf7dbUmX

— Premier Sports (@PremierSportsTV) February 2, 2020

First there’s the gap. It must be lonely, being Messi, knowing that you can see things that mere humans cannot. There’s 11 Levante players on the pitch here who know that there’s no gap in their defence; and then there’s Messi, insisting that there is. Look! It’s right there! You just have to do this!

[does something impossible]

And then there’s the urgency within the pass itself. Good passes find players in useful spaces. Great passes — and this is a great pass — find players in useful spaces and then tell them what to do next. The instructions for completion are included; all the receiving player has to do is follow the simple steps. You just need to provide your own screwdriver. Er, feet.

This is Tactically Naive’s Flatpack Furniture Theory of Footballing Brilliance. Here we see Fati put together the MESSI in just a few simple steps, needing no special tools. What could possibly be easier?