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actuallylorelaigilmore · 2 years

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2022 MOVIE OF THE WEEK #27

wonder woman 1984. i looked forward to this one because of the cast, but didn’t know how likely i was to enjoy it because i only saw the first one once--and while i do remember liking it, i don’t actually remember much about it. i watched it simultaneously with a long-distance friend, just like the movie carol...and since that friendship ended, things that were related to it in my head i feel very detached from.

i loved this movie, though. enough to watch it again, happily. so i think it’s fair to say i enjoyed it more than the original and that’s rare and nice. i felt way more invested in diana and steve’s relationship this time--i didn’t dislike them in the first movie but they also didn’t grab me much, and here a couple of scenes made me cry.

one of the only things i read about this movie when it came out was that pedro pascal’s character was very trumpy. i thought that made sense for the ‘80s setting but understood it even better once i was finally watching this: they soften him and give him an arc, but boy do i see the parallels outside of that. it was really jarring at first though because i love the actor, so meeting him in this where he induces skin-crawly feelings was just like ‘you?!? how can it be???’ but i do think he was the right casting choice because you had to be able to believe that he would be That Guy to such an extreme AND that he would still have enough humanity and love for one single person in his life to turn it around. not an easy line to walk.

speaking of walking difficult lines, one of my favorite things about this movie is how truly dark and intense and bleak it got before the end. it really raised the stakes and kept pushing them, in a way that felt genuinely rare to me, and thus kind of brave. like, it’s a superhero movie--if things were 2/3 less bad they still would’ve had enough chaos and end times drama for a world-saving plot. i don’t think another movie has made me think about that, so it was cool to be pulled into genuinely believing their version of the world could end.

as i knew she would be, kristen wiig was fascinating and an excellent antagonist. she’s got great facial expressions, and i enjoyed the way they used not just her physicality but also her costuming, to evolve her from tentative friend to feral. it’s deeply unsettling to see how easily she turns, trusts a man who is obviously unsafe, and chooses vengeance and power...but it made sense for her, too. though i will never be a fan of women turning on each other, so the couple of big barbara vs. diana fight scenes were not my favorite.

literally my only complaints about this movie, which was truly a good time (that cameo at the end! i was delighted), are related to barbara. the way they designed her once she transformed into an animal hybrid was horrifying, and not in a ‘what a scary villain’ way--more like the live-action cats. why did they do that?? who signed off?? i was immediately pulled out of the scene and just couldn’t buy in, as long as she looked like that. (got very ranty below, oops.)

it also didn’t help that when diana electrocuted her as a last resort, barbara was underwater so long that i truly believed she was dead. and then she isn’t dead, but the movie doesn’t treat it like a ‘she’s revealed to have survived’ moment...it’s just like, nope she’s back out of the water and breathing, silly me to have thought otherwise, forget about that long lingering shot on her lifeless face. (this isn’t really a complaint, it was just confusing for me because i thought the impact there was meant to be diana making the deeply-against-her-values decision to kill, to save the world. instead it was sort of anticlimactic.)

my other issue, which will bother me forever, is that when the movie ends we have no idea where barbara’s life is headed. and by that i don’t mean that i love villains (though i generally do) and so i think she deserved more screen time. what bothered me is that we saw pedro pascal close out an arc and we know he’s likely to at least try to be a changed man, for his son’s sake, going forward. we can hope--even though we don’t know for sure--that diana will try to be less isolated in the future, that losing steve this time won’t stop her from building a life without him instead of just making herself a distant savior figure who feels empty inside.

but barbara, unlike the rest of humanity who diana convinced to collectively save the world, never changed her mind. she didn’t renounce her choices, and beyond diana electrocuting her we only get a final shot where she’s damp and alone looking out at the world. if we’re supposed to draw a definitive conclusion from that, it didn’t make that happen for me. and the reason why i care so much is that barbara had already chosen her path before also teaming up with the bad guy. that’s part of why she was a real villain--she could have turned back, she wasn’t ‘just doing what she had to,’ she was in her own way empowered and taking action in a way that female characters are not always allowed to do...she made choices.

and so it really frustrates me to be left not knowing if after the world was saved, barbara went back to being her old meek self, mostly ignored and mistreated, mostly alone--but now having learned that it was not the power she saw in diana that was the real answer to her unhappiness, because making herself a villain didn’t fix her past experiences of being a victim. is that what happened? are we supposed to assume that because she nearly died and diana was stronger than her in the end, barbara ‘learned her lesson’--just because stories about good and evil usually end that way?

because it seems just as likely to me that at the end, barbara could be stripped of the power she wanted that gave her respect and attention and stole her humanity, and she could want it all back. i don’t think there’s a guarantee that regaining her humanity would make her the harmless, sweet woman she was before, especially when she only went down her path in this movie because she had that yearning for power in the first place. it was always in her.

so without any indication that she would turn over a new leaf like the movie’s male villain, and without any reason to think that diana planned to keep an eye on her in the future as potentially unstable...her ending kinda just felt like a supervillain origin story to me. she knows what power feels like now, she was willing to keep it at any cost, and the only hero who knows her--wonder woman--is someone whose main weakness, steve, barbara also knows in return.

there are no plans for other wonder woman movies in the ‘80s as far as i know (which, sad! on many levels. i love the ‘80s) so it’s not like this is actually relevant to anything. it just stuck out for me because the rest of the movie’s plot threads and characters had endings that were more conclusive, whether sad or hopeful. i felt like barbara’s ending was ??? and if that was the point, to be like ‘after all this only she will able to decide where she goes from here and how she ends up’...well, i didn’t like it. lol. if she’s going to be good now tell me so i can be happy for her, and if she’s not then i want to know that diana will be around to stop her.

overall though this movie gets high points for the wardrobe and her lasso and the fireworks (this movie said dark DC era? don’t know her and gave us all the colors) and chris pine and gal gadot bringing in a lot more believable emotional connection and not one but two antagonists with real arcs and some parts of the apocalypse plot were a little ehh for me at first but i really enjoyed what they did with it. definitely ranks highly among the modern superhero movies for me.

#me: sees a really good movie about wonder woman and loss and doing what's right #'yeah but what are we supposed to take away from this when we don't know the ultimate fate of the movie's female villain?'#i have my priorities and i accept them for what they are #2022 motw #wonder woman 1984 #kristen wiig #pedro pascal #chris pine #gal gadot #long post

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swordofpevensie · 3 years

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As I've seen it again, here are my favorite things about Prince Caspian (2008):

warnings: It is a very long post and I can't help but swear sometimes.

• How Caspian is confused all the time.

• Prefossor: “Don't use that until you really need to use it.”

Caspian: *Uses it the first time he is in danger.* Good job boy, good job.

• “Phyllis.” “SUSAN!” (Lucy does the same thing in tvodt *emotional voices*)

• That disappinted look in Susan's eyes when she sees Peter fighting, and they way she doesn't do anything to help him. Like girl they are beating your brother??

• Edmund comes and saves Peter by simply jumping on everyone who is trying to hurt Peter. We love a clever and quick boi™

• Lucy's little comfort to Peter. *sniffing*

• Peter's iconic hair, that rebel and sassy hair.

• “I'm not touching you!” “I'M NOT HOLDING YOUR HAND!”

• How happy they are at the beach and the way they finally can have pure fun. *more sniffing*

• Narnia is so beautiful in summer and Pevensies look so beautiful too.

• And for my own please, I'll mention how beautiful Peter looks when he is playing in the sea and walking among the ruins.

• The way Lucy holds Peter's hand to show him the way and THE TORCH SCENE GETS ME EVERYTIME.

• Everyone is like where the hell are we and Lucy is just enjoying her apple.

• And again for my own pleasure, I'll mention how beautiful Susan looks.

• “wHiCh cHeSs sEt?” “whOt?” We love a one confused king.

• That shot when they all stand in their places in the ruins and Peter says “Cair Paravel.” I'm like YES SIR I'M READY TO SACRIFICE MY WHOLE LIFE FOR YOU.

• I'm lowkey attracted to General Glozelle. (shameful sniffing)

• I like it that Edmund is the first one to figure out what might have happened to Cair Paravel. And our confused king is again like “whOt?”

• C'mon Peter is very committed to make a torch and it is SO CUTE. And Edmund watching him is so funny, he is like ‘I'm about to end this man's whole career.’

• I'll not tell my thoughts on the time Peter takes his sword. I'm trying to be a good. *choughs*

• Boom! “Drop him!” YOUR QUEEN IS BACK YOU IDIOTS! OOOH HOW I LOVE SUSAN.

• Peter jumping to the water and Lucy using his dagger to cut the ropes.

• “High King Peter, the Magnificent.” I mean if I were magnificent just like him, I'd tell it loud very frequently too.

• Edmund using sword... 10/10 His final pose 20/10. *chefs kiss and sniffing*

• “Or do I have to sit on your head again?” Narnians and humor? Count me in!

• Caspian's accent... YES SIR.

• “I'm Prince Caspian... The tenth.” and “High King Peter, The Magnificent.” are cousins and you can't tell me otherwise.

• “Running away.” Oh just come into my arms you sad and broken boi. *too many sniffings*

• Proffesor inside: Eheheh they are back. You are a dead man now Miraz.

• That underwater shot... 10/10. Peter paddling... 10/10. All of them sitting in silent, sadly... Okay this one hurts A LOT.

• “We didn't mean to leave you know.” *no more sniffing i'm crying*

• Lucy greeting and trusting in a bear is me vs. life. Susan saying a bear to stay away from Lucy is me vs. life again.

• Peter helping Lucy to stand up and her hugging Peter for comfort.

• And that bear scene is very clever to me. It shows that those bad times have an effect on everyone. How even Narnians, kind, gentle, happy Narnians turned into wild creatures because of bad times. Also Susan not killing the bear immediately shows how gentle she is and she always gives a chance.

• “I can hear you.” We love a done™ prince. And him asking questions about Narnia is so cute!

• That zoom to Caspian's face is kiLLING ME.

• AND REEPICHEEP I'd kill and die for him unless he kills and dies for me first.

• CENTAURS ARE BACK!!! Oh I love them so much.

• “You can't carry a map in your heads.” “That's because we have something in them.” LUCY DIDN'T STUTTER.

• “i'M nOt lOst.” My baby tries so hard I love him bye.

• “OH SHUT UP!” is one of my favorite Peter lines. Also he is very sassy and why is no one talking about it?? (I'll talk about it later btw, eheh)

• IF SOMEONE BELIEVED AND LISTENED TO LUCY THE FIRST TIME SHE SPEAKS, THINGS WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER AND EASIER FOR ASLAN'S SAKE.

• And Edmund supporting Lucy? We love a supportive and cute brother.

• Caspian is so brave and the speech he gives... *CHEFS KISS* I mean I would fight and die for him too. And when Narnians believe in him, I cry even more. (++Ben Barnes' voice in that accent... Gets me every freaking time).

• The look in Peter's face when he sees the making of the bridge. He is like “Not my kingdom, you bitches!”

• The conversaion between Lucy and Susan... I hate to think their struggles, adjusting to Narnia, adjusting to England.

• Lucy telling a tree to wake up is me vs. life, again.

• The way Peter just comes and hides her out of nowhere... WE LOVE A PROTECTIVE BROTHER.

• When Caspian and Peter fights... Okay, for your safety I'll shut up but the way Peter is ready to hit him with a rock is both funny and shows how a quick and smart fighter he is.

• “PETAH!” Okay Susan, we get it honey.

• “Well if you like, we can come back in a few years.” LIKE WHY IS NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT HIS SASS??

• “You were right to fear the woods.” IS. EXCELLENT.

• Caspian and Peter walking in the front and talking casually. My heart goes *butterlifes* *looove*

• When the papa centaur rises baby centaur's sword... *a loud sniff* .

• I love that there are pictures of Pevensies and Golden Age on the walls. It makes me feel so majestic.

• Caspian: *dramatically lights fire*

• They are looking at The Stone Table and Caspian in the back is like look at the mess you made.

• When Peter and Caspian talk at the same time.

• “There is always a first time.” THAT. SASS. AND CONFIDENCE.

• “We could collect nuts!” “Yes, and throw them at Telmarines!” Reepicheep... Love you babe.

• Okay the whole castle stuff is so freaking cool until the last minutes. Like Edmund and his torch, Susan and THE WAY HE KILLS A MAN BY THROWING AN ARROW.

• But... Caspian babe, kill your bastard uncle anyways.

• And it just should be said: I love how Narnians are always ready to sacrifice themselves because freedom is much more important than their lives. They are not afraid of death as long as it means to get freedom back.

• That poor cat... I don't know what to say.

• You are attacking a castle and your baby Caspian just casually knocks the window.

• Professor doing his best to help Caspian escape and then seeing him back in the castle again... I mean a disappointment level I can relate.

• I wish I could be woken up at night by Caspian, with a sword on my throat? Depends on my mood.

• Miraz being so done is a mood.

• They all are in Miraz's bedroom like:

• Edmund literally headbutts a man wearing a metal helmet. I am speechless.

• You don't have sword? Don't worry you have a torch... just don't break it.

• Reepicheep and his friends pushing that thing makes me cry and scream.

• “Who exactly are you doing this for Peter?” THE LOOK ON PETER'S FACE.

• When Peter screams “FOR NARNIA!”

• My Queen Susan throwing an arrow to man and killing him despite his armour. I. LOVE. ONE. POWERFUL. QUEEN.

• Sometimes I wish I was an minatour.

• Edmund kicking that dude's head by sliding. A simple and powerful move.

• OKAY SO MIRAZ PUSHING THIS MINATOUR IS VERY PERSONAL TO ME. AND I AM VERY PISSED OF.

• And that minatour holding the door. I love you, you strong and scary baby. And I always will.

• When Edmund casually jumps back, I hear Blow Your Mind by Dua Lipa playing.

• That moment when other Narnians are trapped inside and Peter and Susan watch them... MY BABY PETER HAVE HAD ENOUGH PLEASE LET HIM REST. And Edmund seeing the dead bodies...

• That agressive “HEY!” from Caspian and the way Peter and him just scream at each other, idk what to say but it is sort of funny.

• When mama centaur cries, you know I'm dead on the floor.

• King Miraz getting on his throne... Sassy and majestic af. He is a psycho but you know he has taste.

• “What do you want? Congratulations?” Okay Caspian put that sarcasm down babe.

• When my mom watched the scene where The White Witch sort of comes back for the first time, she was like “Not that bitch witch again.”

• The way Peter pushes Caspian is skcjskfsj MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY

• And Edmund killing the wolfish thing is so cool, he is a very talented warrior. Also him stabbing Jadis, he gives like zero fucks.

• And when the ice is broken, they see Aslan on the wall and it is such a strong scene!!

• Can someone please explain me why Miraz and his men wear those freaking helmets?

• “And she won't be alone.” WE. LOVE. ONE. SUPPORTIVE. AND PROTECTIVE. SISTER.

• No, Caspian you may not, no matter how hot you say Miraz.

• Edmund in Miraz's place... Just perfect. That sass, that confidence, that intelligence. THAT look on his face.

• “Your brother's sword is sharper than his pen.” It is an adage in Turkish btw: “A pen is sharper than a sword.”

• “Or hooves.” Lucy, was that joke really necessary honey?

• THE LOVE OF MY LOVE AND MY ONE TRUE LOVE PETER SAYING “WELL, FEEL FREE.” AND “JUST. ONE.” WITH A BRAVE LOOK ON HIS FACE IS THE CAUSE OF MY DEATH.

• Queen Susan standing on her own, holding her bow to hunt men... YES. QUEEN.

• Proud brother™ Edmund.

• The way Peter snarls at Miraz. I mean I WOULD SURRENDER TO HIM.

• AND MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION FOR PRAISING WILLIAM'S ACTING? He fights amazing and his expressions are both beautiful and real. He makes you feel what Peter feels. I just love the way he portrays Peter.

• “Keep smiling.” King Edmund just knows things.

• And the way he just doesn't listen Peter and fixes his arm... 10/10

• When he hits Miraz's wound. He is a smart fighter, and I'll not even bring up how he stabs Miraz.

• “It's not mine to take.” Me inside: *MINE IS YOURS TO TAKE.*

• Caspian just stop screaming and kill this bitch for Aslan's sake.

• “Not one like you.” WITH TEARS ON HIS BEAUTIFUL BLACK EYES. I HATE HIM SOMETIMES.

• Although I hate that they have to fight again, what the Lord did was really smart, I have to admit.

• Have I told you that I hate that ball-throwing-machines?

• Queen Susan telling archers to get ready and Prince Caspian telling “Narnians, attack!” while riding his horse. ALSO WHAT THEY DID WAS SO CLEVER. PETER COUNTING WITH THAT BRAVE FACE.

• My baby Peter fighting again. And Caspian coming out of the underground. *CHEFS KISSES*

• KING EDMUND RIDING A HORSE AND ARROWING PEOPLE?? MORE CHEFS KISSES.

• Reepicheep's tiny armour OMG

• I HATE THAT BALL-THROWING-MACHINES.

• When they all run again (Not to mention Peter has to attack and fight like for like the hundredth time) THEY LOOK FREAKING GOOD AND MAJESTIC AND KING EDMUND CUTTING MEN IS PER.FECT.

• I AM IN STRONG NEED OF HUGHING AN ASLAN.

• THE TREES ARE COMING BACK HELL FREAKING YESSS!!!

• Queen Susan killing with this bows and arrow is just perfect. I love her. Like so much.

• Ooh there is shield wall? Don't worry Narnians will jump on it.

• Peter proudly saying “Lucy,” and looking at Caspian like “Hehe did you expect that?”

• And my baby yells “For Aslan!” and goes to fight. AGAIN.

• Lucy and her dagger? FREAKING DANGEROUS. RUN AWAY.

• Welcome water grandpa, you are very cute!!!

• Aslan is like hehe this is my friend. He is very proud of his friend.

• The guilt on their faces when they see Aslan is so cute.

• “All of you.” SHUT UP YOU MADE ME CRY AGAIN.

• OH AND REEPICHEEP. PLEASE I LOVE HIM SOOO MUCH. HE'S HAD ENOUGH.

• Aslan calling him “Small one.” awWWW

• “Do you see him now?” QUEEN LUCY NEVER STUTTERS.

• Okay but the way they all look perfect during the parade. Caspian's crown and Susan's dress are my favs.

• AND THAT LOOK ON SUSAN'S FACE. IT KILLS ME.

• What the hell is Caspian wearing when Telmars go back?

• There is a talking lion in front of them and Telmarines still are amazed by a turning tree.

• Peter looks so good in blue and him giving his sword to Caspian is awwww again.

• Peter and Susan are the ones who'll not come back again and they both wear blue while Lucy and Ed wears green.

• Peter shaking hands with the centaur is an another awwww.

• The kiss makes me feel weird but I'm alright with that.

• “I'm 1300 years older than you.” is CUTE TO ME.

• Peter's proud brother smile. 10/10

• The way Lucy looks back at Aslan breaks my heart.

• THE ENDING KILLS ME. DESTROYS ME. VANISHES MY EXISTENCE. THAT LION ROAR. THAT SONG. OH HOW I LOVE THIS MOVIE AND NARNIA MOVIES... I AM CRYING AGAIN.

oooh okay, thank you for sharing this emotional roller-coaster with me. i hope you enjoy it.

love, andrea.♡

#narnia #the chronicles of narnia #peter pevensie #edmund pevensie #lucy pevensie #susan pevensie #peterpevensie #edmundpevensie #lucypevensie #susanpevensie #high king peter the magnificent #king edmund the just #queen lucy the valiant #queen susan the gentle #prince caspian #princecaspian #caspian #caspian the tenth #prince caspian movie

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alynawatchestv · 4 years

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Alyna watches Xena - 01x02 Chariots of War

Reblogs and comments will make me very happy. :)

OK, so the story starts with Xena and Gabrielle walking into some tavern. Apparently, it has everything Cyrene’s tavern was lacking which is wine and beautiful women to sleep with, but because Xena is with Gabrielle she only lets herself to drink wine.

Gabrielle is telling Xena a story how Zeus turned two lovers into oak trees while Xena is drinking wine and checking out women.

*old habits die hard*

Gabrielle asks Xena if she knows what happened next and Xena responds in a typical Xena-like fashion “Somebody built the boat out of them?”. This is gold and a reason while I love Xena so much. Unlike spiritual, daydreaming Gabrielle she is more pragmatic and down to earth, just like me.

So Xena slightly irritated asks what the point of the story is and Gabrielle says she believes everyone will find their tree in the forest meaning Gabrielle is unintentionally hitting something our hero doesn’t notice or is really trying not to notice (I mean, “let me be your tree” is a new way of saying wanna go out with me?” I guess). But Xena being a typical drama queen says the strongest trees in the forest are to ones that stand alone. And Gabrielle is trying really hard not to facepalm by saying that Xena doesn’t always have to be strong and can afford to be soft.

Xena is trying to get out of the tavern ASAP and tells Gabrielle she’s gonna check if they can cross some river so they don’t have to lose two days on… Something. And I’m pretty sure it’s not about losing two days. It’s Xena not wanting to talk about her feelings so Gabrielle won’t find out what a big softie she is. After all, a girl doesn’t reveal all of her secrets all at once.

Our Warrior Princess decides they need to find a place for Gabrielle to stay in and when Gabrielle is asking why some drunk dude puts his dirty hands on Gabby’s arms begging to tell him a story. So our little sidekick is all like “Fuuuck. Nuh uh. New place! Now!”

But apparently, Xena couldn’t find a place for Gabrielle to stay in because she leaves her in the middle of the road and rides off on her trusty stallion. I mean… At least you could find some barn or something, Xena. Gods.

Meanwhile, we jump to some village where we can see how child labor looked in ancient Greece. Kids are working hard and one of the boys hits himself with a hammer (not with Draco’s father’s blacksmith’s hammer, mind you). So their father, I presume, teaches the boy how to hold the tool without hurting himself as the build a barn or something like that.

I’m not sure if little kids working in unsafe conditions is ok, but it’s normal, I guess. The kids are afraid they would have to go back to Troy but their dad tells them they won’t, which could be a good decision as we all know what happened to Troy.

The father leaves his sons to keep working while he takes his daughter with him to do something else. When he’s occupied with picking up the most beautiful stick his daughter notices some raiders coming towards them. Being a child of few words she just gives signal to her dad. But when he turns there’s nothing there. The raiders are on the low ground and can’t be seen. But the second time everyone notice them and panic starts.

There is a group of warlords looking like Conan movie rejects closing in on the peasants. The Boss Warlord, with really beautiful eyes, I gotta adit, is riding a chariot and seeing this ”good looking”... I mean, I honestly don’t get it. There’s nothing there but fields and some half-build barn or something like that and a bunch of people doing… There are no houses even. It’s confusing really.

So the Boss Warlord orders the attack and Conan movie warlord rejects run towards the peasants doing “arrrgh, rrra” and other scary and weird noises. The father tell everyone to take cover. So what those peasants do? They fucking start running in all directions. Like look at that! Chickens! Seriously, chickens running everywhere.

*Don’t run towards danger, people! Run away from it, gods damn it!*

The warlords chase after people, make funny noises and even try to destroy the barn or whatever this thing is supposed to be. But thankfully, Xena is on her horse and seeing what is happening she rushes into the action with her battle cry! The Boss Warlord is watching intrigued while Xena kicks another two guys and then another and then jumps on one end of a table (there are no houses, but there’s a table. Priorities.) and hits the attacker with another and he falls on his end so Xena can flip from her end and... Well, it looks pretty awesome.

So another warlord is still trying to bring down the unfinished building which is weird it takes him so much time, because I’m sure whoever built this… ’building’ needs “Carpentry for Idiots” book. Gods, even me, with minimum knowledge of woodwork can see this building has no right to stand as long as it is. Go back to baking bread and pitch hay peasants!

Xena rushes to save the kid who’s hiding there… In the most visible place… Seriously, these people. So Xena rushes to save the kid and grabs him just in time before the building falls down. The father runs to Xena and thanks her, but the Boss Warlord is giving the order to fire arrows. Xena turns her head, arrows are flying and she catches two! That’s how badass she is! This scene is gold, I tell you.

But! A third arrow was shot and this one wounds our heroine… ok, this sounds really stupid… Our warrior princess! Xena falls down from the horse unconscious.

*And scene. In the times of ancient gods… Blah, blah, blah.*

So the father takes Xena to his house to help her. And here’s my question. Where did the evil warlords go? Did they vanish? Did they decided this joke of a place wasn’t worth of their time? They decided to wait till Xena gets better? Where are they and why didn’t they kill everyone?!

So the father puts Xena on bed to take out the arrow, but seeing the wound he slightly panics, but Xena being badass says she’s done it a few times. She tells the father what to do and when he leaves the room his kids show up to look at the guest. And it’s understandable, kids are kids, curiosity is natural. But when the father comes back and tells them to GTFO the oldest son turns out to be a fucking savage!

Father: Everyone. Out.

Savage Son: Do we have to?

Father: Yes.

Savage Son: We always miss everything good.

He’s awesome.

Xena asks if he knows who the warlords was and it turns out they were the men of Sycnus… The men of Sycnes… The men of Sickness… Crap, just a sec, gotta check IMDB. They’re the men of Cycnus.

So the father says Cycnus wants to claim right to the lands while taking Xena’s armor. She instantly checks if her boobs look good in the light, while stating it’s something more than that. When it turns out the arrow didn’t go through the body she makes the father push it.

Xena tells him what to do step by step. He’s a little bit panicked but being a big boy, fortunately he doesn’t faint but Xena does.

Meanwhile we can see Cycnus’ camp and the Boss Warlord is fighting some random dude just like Xena and Draco where fighting in episode 1. But it’s not really that awesome and enthralling to be honest. But the Boss Warlord wins and his father, who’s Cycnus decides to spar with him. The Boss Warlord tells Cycnus he’s ready to take his place, but Cycnus says the Boss Warlord is missing a desire to kill unlike his brother, Stentor killed in Korinth. And frankly, how can you be a warlord without burning villages, enslaving people, killing people, conquering people and all that?

But the Boss Warlord say he killed a warrior woman but doesn’t know the name and the father laughs at him saying killing a woman is not gonna impress Ares. Bitch, if you only knew.

He makes fun of his son telling him Ares won’t even pay attention to him and that he can’t conquer a valley with simple peasants who just wanna live peacefully. And frankly, he’s right. I mean, these are warriors vs peasants. How hard can it be? This dude thinks he killed a warrior and then what? Let go and backed out? This part is really messed up and it’s just a lazy writing.

Oh, and we learned the dead brother’s name, but not the Boss Warlord’s.

We’re back to the house and Xena is sleeping. The two boys come in to check out on her and are wondering if she’s gonna die. The older one being savage himself says if Xena dies he’s taking the horse. He’s super compassionate. Xena wakes up tells the boys one arrow is not enough to kill her and… goes back to sleep I guess. Awesome scene. Really there for a reason.

Meanwhile, Gabrielle is back in the tavern. I think it’s because it got dark and the road isn’t a good place to spend the night. So she’s hopelessly looking at the tavern entrance hoping Xena will walk in so she could jump in her arms and kiss her and… Oh wait, we’re not there yet.

Gabrielle talks to the barkeep just to feel a little bit less nervous and the barkeep says she’s either ordering or GTFO so she takes some water and the barkeep is kinda pissed off, because apparently, the water is free but she’s a client and he can’t kick her out.

And when Gabrielle is there, all alone, scared, wondering if Xena’s ok, if she’s coming back, our warrior princess is chilling out in bed, telling kids a story about a giant and how she jammed her fist in… OK, let’s not dwell on that. And the dad doesn’t want Xena to go graphic too so she says she used a feather and the Savage Kid is all like “what? You used a feather?” and Xena is like “Oh no, I used the whole goose because giants have big feet”.

*Fear me giants for I am your doom!*

The kids laugh, the dad laughs, everything is peaceful and then the little kid asks if Xena travels with her family, but she responds she has no family.

WHAT? Who the fuck wrote this script? One already stupid thing is the Boss Warlord wounding Xena and deciding to bail, because why kill everyone and take the land to yourself? And now Xena, who reconciled with her mom, says she has no family? Instead of saying she has a family and a friend traveling with her whom she left in some village and needs to get back as soon as possible, Xena says she has no family and chills like nothing happens?

*fuck you lazy writers*

Oh, one more thing, we’re almost 14 minutes into the episode and the dad still hasn’t told Xena his name! I hate this episode.

But Xena tells the kids about how hard life on the road is, she smiles at the dad, he smiles at her and we’re supposedly are to believe there is a chance there’ll be something between them. Xena changes the subject, because she, as the viewers, knows how stupid that is. She asks the girl what her name was and she learns she doesn’t talk since their mom died (I’ll bet you, she’ll be talking by the end of this episode).

Suddenly, there’s a knocking on the door and a neighbor comes in asking when will Xena GTFO and… it’s 14:04 minutes and we finally learn the Dad’s name! It’s Darius! Oh, praise Hestia for this reveal! Again, fuck you writers.

Darius tells the neighbor he ain’t gonna tell a wounded person to GTFO, but the neighbor says he gets Darius has been without a woman for a long time, but maybe this isn’t the best way to get another. Because he respects women and doesn’t want Darius to take advantage of a wounded person.

So they talk about Xena for a while and Darius promises that wen Xena gets better, she’ll GTFO. But Xena makes the decision for him and is found in a barn preparing Argo saying she needs to get her friend she left in some other village. So Darius, being a clingy dude says Xena’s friend will take care of herself for a few days. I mean, sure, I guess he knows better. Because apparently he knows Gabrielle. Burn in Tartarus, Darius… And you too writers for giving the characters such stupid lines.

I do get he wants Xena to rest and get really better, but this is another moment of bad writing, imo, and I’m waiting for the Boss Warlord and some fights, because I, frankly, can’t stand Darius and his clinginess. So he’s pining over Xena when, out of fucking nowhere, a whole bunch of warlords show up, burn the food silo… And leave. There are five people in this team. Five warlords against a wounded warrior and a farmer. And they burn a silo? Come on, this is another example of lazy writing you guys!

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a terrible episode, but it’s bad. Like Draco was straight up ruthless. He came to Amphipolis, said he’s gonna kill everyone and had he won, we know he’d have stuck to his promise (I’m pretty sure I messed up this conditional pretty bad). But Cycnus and his warlords are just a bunch of amateurs. They’re doing this in the name of Ares? Ares stopped paying attention, because I’m sure burning silos made him question if he should still be a god of war having such believers.

So the warlords leave, Darius is trying to put down the flames and Xena is like “fuck it, it’s gonna burn anyway. Let’s look at the dark, empty road instead.”

The next morning Gabrielle, who apparently did sleep in some barn or under a tree, walks into the tavern and orders water… Damn, this girl is cheap. Moment later some pirate is hitting on her and she puts him down using lots of words the pirate doesn’t understand. But the pirate is stupid enough not to get when a girl says no, and when Gabrielle says she’s looking for a friend he says he could be her friend smiling disgustingly. And the dude is dumber than a sack of potatoes, because when Gabrielle tells him Xena is her friend he offers to be friend to both. So when this doesn’t work Gabrielle uses fake boyfriend excuse pointing at… Yes, you guessed it right. The Boss Warlord. He’s there drinking wine, brooding, thinking how lame of a warlord he is by not killing everyone when he got a chance and burning only a food silo and not the whole house.

But the pirate isn’t maybe as stupid as he looks, because he immediately knows Gabrielle is lying so the girl walks over to the Boss Warlord and kisses him telling him to pretend he knows her. Seeing a beautiful, young woman kissing him out of nowhere the Boss Warlord is totally cool with that. Because who wouldn’t be cool with that. I know I wouldn’t complain.

Meanwhile, Xena is looking for her weapons when Darius comes in telling her he doesn’t need to fight as the neighbor is gonna go with a peace offer. Xena says that people like Cycnus don’t deal with peace and he’s the thing I actually liked in Darius. He’s a lot like Gabrielle. He tells Xena that she’s changed for better so maybe those guys can be convinced too. I mean, this is actually cool. I’m still all for killing all those warlords, but I like the parallel here.

In the meantime, Gabrielle is talking to the Boss Warlord. He’s totally into her laughing at that little stunt she pulled, but his mood shifts the moment Gabrielle tells him she’s looking for her friend, Xena. Suddenly, he’s like “oh fuuuuuck”, but he lies saying he hadn’t seen her. And then we get this scene.

*How did the writers put so much subtext without knowing it’s subtext is beyond me.*

So they keep talking and it turns out the Boss Warlord isn’t really a bad guy. He works for his dad, because his bro died and he took his place. But we can see this isn’t something he wants to do. Aww, he’s a big softie. I mean, a softie who will shoot and arrow to a chest but still. Gabrielle understands him perfectly, because her mother also expected her to follow certain path the young girl didn’t want to go. So the Boss Warlord is kinda panicking and decided to leave hoping they’d meet again. He leaves and Gabrielle is sort of swooning over him? Yeah, let’s pretend she does.

Oh, we still have no idea what the Boss Warlord’s name is. Facepalm.

So Darius and Xena are preparing to go and talk peacefully to the warlords, but when Xena comes out in her armor Darius says she can’t go negotiate in this and is trying to give her a dress after her dead wife. Xena doesn’t want to but Darius is pushing and pushing and she finally gives up and when she puts on the dress she realizes she actually looks smoking hot in it. If only Gabrielle could see her now.

Meanwhile the Boss Warlord comes into a tent and here after, 23 minutes, we learn the Boss Warlord’s name. 23 minutes, because someone forgot to introduce characters properly. The Boss Warlord spoke to his dad, no name given. He spoke to Gabrielle no name given, although she gave him hers. Those lazy writers. So Sphaerus, because that’s his name, but I'm gonna stick to Boss Warlord, walks into a tent and his father informs him he will go to this peaceful meeting and kill all the villagers.

And the Boss Warlord is keeping poker face but inside is all like: Fuuuuuck.

So we move back to Darius’ house and in this scene the Savage Kid is winning again. So Darius is preparing kids to go and the younger son asks if the meeting means they’re gonna be friends with the warlords now and Darius says that not really, but maybe they will come up with some sort of relationship. And the Savage Kid is all like

Savage Kid: It might require a sacrifice, so we’ve decided to give them Lykus.

Lykus: What? O_o

Darius: Argolis! Don’t taunt your brother.

Savage Kid: But, it’s so much fun.

This kid is going places. Some serious psycho ones, but still.

Also, 24 minutes in and we finally learn kids’ names… Except for the Quiet One, because, who cares about her anyway.

Xena comes in wearing that blue dress and the Quiet One grabs her hand smiling, because I bet Xena reminds her of her mom. Darius smiles also and they all leave for the meeting.

Meanwhile the Boss Warlord is waiting for the villagers to arrive visibly nervous. He starts talking when Xena comes in and he’s like “Fuuuuck, she’s alive”. Darius seeing his neighbors are still alive is “You see? I told you we could trust them” and Xena looks at him like he’s a naive fool that he actually is. So the neighbor, the one that revealed Darius’ name to the viewer, comes to Darius and he says Xena can’t be here and she was supposed to GTFO. Xena says she’ll wait in the back and while The Boss Warlord explains there’s an idea for peace between two groups Xena is observing the surroundings for any sign of danger. She notices someone is trying to open the from the inside so she… jumps out of the window… Yeah, OK, it’s Xena, we all know she’s a show off sometimes and I love her for that.

So she starts beating the…. No wait. She shows attackers to wait for a moment so she can be even more sexy when fighting and she tears off her dress so we all can see those beautiful legs of hers and starts fighting the men.

She kicks them, punches them, hits them with clay pots that are lying all around and tells the villagers to run while she’s waiting for another bunch of attackers. So the Boss Warlord’s father’s lackey (Saxon Genitive strikes again) wants to attack but is stopped by the Boss Warlord who doesn’t really wanna kill those peasants so he lets them escape.

After the escape Darius is packing some old rags and two wine cups into a bag, because he wants to take his kids to safety, which is of course understandable but why pack rags and wine cups? Anyway, Xena comes in and Darius starts blaming her for the fight and that the peace offering didn’t pan out. Xena tells him those men she fought would have killed them all, but he’s still acting like it’s all Xena’s fault. Some men, I tell you. Smh.

Xena tells Darius that he should fight and that those warlords can’t be negotiated with, but Darius tells her he’d been to enough wars to know what it’s like and he’s not going to pick up a sword again.

Personally, I can respect that and I get Darius. He’s got three little kids he needs to take care of and fighting anyone is the simplest way to make those kids orphans. Now Xena is all pissed off at Darius not understanding why would Darius run away instead of fight although he gave her the reason. It’s a scene where we can see Xena is always in battle mode no matter what, and no matter who’s life she risks, because fight is all she knows and it’s the only way she knows how to deal with problems.

At the same time, Cycnus shows up angry and awaiting explanation. First, he accuses his lackey, but the Boss Warlord say it was his fault those peasants are alive, because he didn’t have guts to kill them. So Cycnus is all like “Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your cow!” and leaves pissed off.

In the village, Xena is preparing her horse when two little kids come in wondering if Xens is gonna fight Cycnus and his merry band, she says maybe, the little kid hugs her, Darius comes in and tells her she can always change her mind, but she says she wish she could and leaves. And of course the tender music and the way Darius looks at Xena and the way she looks at him is supposed to indicate there might have been something between them if times were different. And Xena decided to live a boring life. And stop being a warrior. And… You get the point.

But while Xena is finally coming back to Gabrielle the leader of villagers is meeting with Cycnus and tells him the person responsible for the whole fight was Xena. Cycnus immediately knows who he’s talking about and tells him to go back to the village and await slaughter. While preparing to go to fight, the Boss Warlord comes in and learns his father is planning to find and kill Xena because she killed the Boss Warlord’s brother. Shocking! So the Boss Warlord gets angry and tells his father he’s going to avenge his brother.

So Xena is slowly riding her horse and stops seeing Gabrielle running her way. How did these two met in the middle of nowhere is a mystery, because I have problems with finding my friends in my town. And it’s a really small town. But anyway, Xena is notably happy to Gabrielle is well and good.

*blink and you’ll miss it*

Xena apologizes to her for leaving her alone for so long, Gabrielle is surprised, because apparently, Xena never apologizes. Anyway, Xena tells her friend to wait for her in a farmhouse down the road because she has something to do. When Gabrielle asks what she gives her the “I’m about to murder people” look and Gabrielle say she’s not gonna wait again while Xena has all the fun and they leave together.

While they walk Gabrielle tells Xena she might have found her “tree in the forest” mentioning the Boss Warlord she met in a tavern. She wonder if she’s ever gonna find him and what if she’s supposed to be his and have kids and… Oh, first season is so cute and naïve this way. And it’s funny how after a few minutes of conversation Gabrielle starts thinking on having family and kids while just an episode earlier she was talking how it’s not a life for her. That she was born to become someone greater.

But at least we have this

*oops*

Xena isn’t listening to Gabrielle noticing warlords in the chariots coming their way. She tells Gabrielle to get on the horse and distract them.

Gabrielle is riding a horse trying not to fall from it while the warlords are chasing her while Xena climbs the tree, ties the rope jumps on a second chariot, ties the two guys who are there and when they fall out of the chariot she takes over and starts chasing the first chariot. Awesome scene.

So they chase for a while and the camera operator did a great job creating such a dynamic scene. Warlords chase Gabrielle while Xena takes a short cut and manages to catch on with her friend telling her to jump from a horse to a chariot. Gabrielle jumps and they Xena give her reigns so she could fight the Boss Warlord and his dad. She quickly realizes she has no chakram, because if you recall, when she was packing to leave, her weapon was covered by the dress and Xena forgot about it.

Cycnus takes out his sword and Xena takes out hers and they start fighting, and at the same time, Gabrielle realizes the Boss Warlord is the dude she met in the tavern and who was supposed to be her future husband or something. Xena manages to cut the reigns and both warlords fall off. Unfortunately, moments later the women hit some grass and fall out too. Xena is surprised to learn the Boss Warlord is the guy Gabrielle wanna have kids with, but this conversation has to wait as both men attack.

The Father Warlord decides to attack Xena and the Boss Warlord attacks Gabrielle. I mean, they don’t really attack, Cycnus tells Xena he’s going to kill her for what she did and she’s like:

Cynus explains Xena killed his son Stentor in Korinth and Xena explains he wanted all Korynthian prostitutes for himself and she wouldn’t let that happen and… nuh, just kidding. I’m sure when Xena was in Korinth all the ladies belonged to her.

Xena explains Stentor came to her with an offer of peace and it was his own men that killed him. Cycnus, of course, doesn’t believe her and orders his son to kill Gabrielle. But Gabrielle tries to convince the Boss Warlord not to do this. Cycnus, apparently bored, attacks Xena. She fights back and this goes on for a while when suddenly the Boss Warlord stops his father. He explains there’s no need for fight and the father is so angry he attacks his own son calling him coward for not wanting war. The Boss Warlord throws away his sword pledging he will never fight again.

Meanwhile, Darius shows up and gives Xena her chakram she forgot and she manages to throw it at Cycnus stopping him from killing his own son. These two continue the fight, but it’s a really short fight as Xena cuts his belly and he falls down bleeding. The Boss Warlord runs to him only to hear his father mocking him one last time. What an asshole.

The Boss Warlord tells Darius to call his people to make real peace this time so the next scene when we’re in the village we can see the Boss Warlord kept his word and everyone is happy.

Gabrielle walks over to him to talk and they have a lovely chat where she tells him he did a good job by saving lives and he tells her he misses his father although he has no regrets things ended up the way they did. Gabrielle says goodbye and leaves while the Boss Warlord longingly watches her.

The villager who was in charge comes over to Xena to apologize for his behavior and the boys tell her she can’t leave. Xena is obviously sad, because these are really cool kids, but she says she has to. So the little girl comes in and says the first word in a long time “Stay” and everyone is like :O

The kids can’t understand why Xena would leave, it’s not like they’ve known her for two days maybe, but ok, I get it, they’re kids, they need mom. Darius takes Xena to the side trying to convince her to stay, but she says she can’t and maybe one day but not today.

So she leaves and Gabrielle is there, waiting. Xena asks if she ever misses her family and Gabrielle says sure, but not as much when she’s with Xena. Awwww, it’s a really sweet moment, because Gabrielle sees Xena as a part of her family and I’m sure Xena thinks the same about Gabrielle, but, unlike Gabrielle, she still isn’t in a place where she can talk about it so easily. They both leave making fun of Gabrielle horse riding.

So… This wasn’t a terrible episode. But it wasn’t good either. The main plot was ok, I mean, I would change warlords to slavers who wanted peasants to work for them, because why kill people who know how to farm land? It’s more efficient to make them work for you, but ok, I guess some people just want to see the world burn.

What I didn’t like was the lazy writing, plot holes and establishing the supporting characters. I can’t really get attached to a person without knowing their names. The Boss Warlord was pretty cool and he and Gabrielle had a chemistry together. Darius was an ok character, a bit boring, but he’s a single father with three kids living in a small village so he’s life isn’t exactly exciting. Overall, it’s a pretty standard filler episode with some good moments like the chariot chase and the fights, but honestly, this is the episode I usually skip as, to me, it doesn’t establish much. But the Savage Kid was awesome. He’s my favorite in this episode.

P.S. I’m sure the Quiet One didn’t say another word after Xena left. Also, IMDB shows her name’s Sarita, but of course, this isn’t something we’ve learned in an episode at all. Go to Tartarus lazy writers.

5/10

#alyna watches xena #xena warrior princess #xena and gabrielle #xwp #xena #lucy lawless #renee o'connor

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jbbarnesnnoble · 4 years

Text

Hello lovely humans!

I’ve recently hit the 500 follower milestone and want to celebrate with another challenge! This time, dark fics are welcome!

I have a lot of prompts here and what doesn’t get used will probably be put aside for a future challenge. I like to make sure there is a wide array of prompts to be chosen from and tend to go overboard. Whoops.

The Rules:

1. Use the hashtag #JBBNN500

2. Dark fics are welcome - Just be sure to utilize trigger warnings and indicate that it is a dark fic.

3. Even if you aren’t writing a dark fic, use trigger warnings if the content warrants it. If you write something that has heavier themes, like those that delve into mental health topics, be sure to label it appropriately.

4. Selecting Prompts: Just let me know which one you want to do! 2 people per prompt! Tell me which subheading and the number of the prompt so I can mark it down! If it’s a lyric prompt, please give me the song and the number!

5. You don’t have to be following to participate!

6. Deadline: January 11, 2021

Yes, I’m giving about 3 months for this. January 11 also happens to be my birthday, so I figured that would be a good date to choose.

The subheadings are: dialogue prompts, sentence prompts, quotes from popular media, and song lyrics!

Find the prompts under the cut!

Dialogue Prompts

“Life is made up of maybes and regrets. I don’t want this to be one of them.”

“You can’t do this. It’s my choice to make, and mine alone. If you don’t agree with it, the door is there. Feel free to use it.”

“I used to be afraid of the dark, you know. Until I learned that the real monsters thrive in the light.”

“So, what you’re saying is if I gave you a nickel, you’d do it.”

“No, I don’t know how the cheese got there, and honestly, I don’t think I want to know.”

“You’re sounding more like a cult leader every time you open your mouth. Don’t think I’ll be accepting any Flavor Aid from you anytime soon.”

“How did you...you know what, I’m going to forget I saw a thing, and go read a book. Or bathe in Holy Water. Or both. Both is good.”

“If you say one more word I swear--” “One more word” “I hate you”

“You can’t come in here singing my favorite song and expect forgiveness, that’s not how this works!”

“No. You mean nothing to me. You never did. You never will.”

“But if it did, it would work and you can’t convince me otherwise.”

“You are simultaneously the smartest and least intelligent person I have ever meant. Truly, an amazing accomplishment.” @bonkywobble

“Next thing you’re going to say is that ghosts are real...please tell me that’s a joke”

“All I’m saying is, I could do that blindfolded.”

“But why was there pizza on the ceiling?”

“If you write me a four thousand word essay on why you think that’s a good idea, then sure.”

“I didn’t think you were serious. Do you know how illegal this is?!”

Sentence Prompts

Feel free to change the pronouns used to suit your needs, even if they aren’t bracketed! You can also change the tense if you need to!

The January rain fell, feeling like razors against [your/her/their] skin as [you/she/they] stared out over the horizon.

This was it, the moment where life as [you/she/they] knew it ended.

[His/her/their] gaze fell on [her/you], like a lion circling its prey.

You never thought that it would come to this, come to being the one to end it all.

You took a moment to calculate [his/her/their] next move, figuring out the perfect counter.

Hanging by your ankles from a tree was most definitely not how you planned on spending your Saturday.

Glancing around the room at the decor, one thing was obvious: it was [his/her/their] doing.

Hurt was the only thing you felt, the only thing you could cling to in this abyss.

Lies, it had all been lies and they were crumbling around you.

The screech of tires on the pavement sent a shiver down your spine.

He/She used to love this time of year, the beauty of it all.

It was like climbing Everest: ambitious, dangerous, and maybe a little insane.

Forgiveness was not something you were willing to offer so freely, not this time.

Chaos may as well have been the code name of this mission. @nekoannie-chan

Silence was your new best friend, one that never seemed to leave you alone.

That smile, that smile was something you could get used to waking up to every day.

Your face twisted in disgust as you realized what you had fallen into.

You were beginning to wish you had taken [him/her/them] up on that trip to Madrid.

Quotes from Popular Media:

With these prompts specifically, you can use the full thing, paraphrase, etc, since some of them are quite long, or just write something based off an idea it sparks.

“There are so many stories where some brave hero decides to give their life to save the day, and because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after. But the hero... never gets to see that ending. They'll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. They'll never know if the day was really saved. In the end, they just have to have faith. Ain't that a bitch.” -Epsilon, Season 13, Red vs Blue

“We're so arrogant, aren't we? So afraid of age, we do everything we can to prevent it. We don't realize what a privilege it is to grow old with someone. Someone who doesn't drive you to commit murder or doesn't humiliate you beyond repair.” - Daniel, P.S I Love You

“After centuries of men looking at my tits instead of my eyes and pinching my ass instead of shaking my hand, I now have the divine right to stare at a man's backside with vulgar, cheap appreciation if I want to!” - Denise, P.S. I Love You

“Life isn't just death. Don't ignore the living.” - Vada Sultenfuss, My Girl

“Life's full of barbaric customs. But I hope they all end with a kiss like that.” - Vada Sultenfuss, My Girl

"You're a little scary sometimes, you know that? Brilliant ... but scary." - Ron Weasley, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

"It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends." - Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

"I’ll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I’m not there." - Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Sweetie, this is one of those times when I know what's right and everybody else is confused.” - Angela Montenegro, Bones, Season 3

“Oh, God. I'm in the middle of something, aren't I? Oh, look! Dead guy!” - Cam Saroyan, Bones, Season 5

“Don’t make it sound trivial when you know it isn’t. You keep talking about how we just need a little more time, but you’re not the one having to struggle.” -Nora, RWBY, Volume 7

“It's called survival. But I forgot, you two at best are functional morons.” - Crowley, Supernatural, Season 5, Episode 10

“I once had to judge a tighty-whitey contest for Lambda Kappa Pi. Trust me, I can handle anything.” - Elle Woods, Legally Blonde

“How were we supposed to know? It's not like we run background checks on all her boyfriends.” - Kathryn Kennish, Switched at Birth

“Don’t try to get on my good side. I no longer have a good one” - Ouiser, Steel Magnolias

“I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.” - Shelby, Steel Magnolias

“You have the handwriting of a serial killer” - Clairee, Steel Magnolias

“I didn’t know if you would hire someone who might be married to someone who may or may not be a criminal” - Annelle, Steel Magnolias

Lyric Prompts

What Do You Think Of - Lauren Alaina ft. Lukas Graham

What do you think of when you think of me?

When you look back on us what do you see? Is it the good times, is it the bad times, is it somewhere in between?

I can’t even drive down 8th Avenue because the whole damn town reminds me of you

Hurts to Know - 1551

But you stayed when I made another promise to keep

And you waited and waited for the life you saw in your dreams

You walk in and begin to try to heal me again, but each night is a fight that’s getting harder to win.

Sick - 1551

Everyone I meet feels like another target

I’m feeling sick, I’m feeling twisted, I wasn’t home before this feeling existed

I never knew that wrong could feel so right

seven - Taylor Swift

Sweet tea in the summer, cross your heart won’t tell no other, and though I can’t recall your face, I still got love for you

Passed down like folk songs, the love lasts so long

I think your house is haunted, your dad is always mad and that must be why

We’ll hide in the closet, and just like a folk song, our love will be passed on

the last great american dynasty - Taylor Swift

How did a middle class divorcee do it?

The wedding was charming, if a little gauche

And they said “There goes the last great American dynasty. Who knows if she never showed up what could have been.”

epiphany - Taylor Swift

With you I serve, with you I fall down

Something med school did not cover

And some things you just can’t speak about

Chapters - Brett Young

Chapter one, I was raised on the Dodgers

There’s no perfect life, you can’t hold back time

Everybody expecting perfection

Things change in the blink of an eyelid, guess my body knew way more than I did

The Daughters - Little Big Town

Girl, know your place, be willing and able

Girl, watch your mouth and watch your weight

Pose like a trophy on a shelf, and dream for everyone but not yourself

I wash the dishes, feed the kids, and clean up all this mess, do my best, forgive myself, and look good in this dress

It Won’t Always Be Like This - Carly Pearce

I remember how I couldn’t wait to get out of my hometown, now I’m looking for every excuse to go back on the weekend

I remember hearing the door slam, twenty-two, didn't have a clue who I was, who I could trust, and who were my real friends

The heart won’t ache forever, no matter how hard it gets, it won’t always be like this

Next Girl - Carly Pearce

You overlook a lot when he looks like that

He’ll charm your mama with that smile, hide the red flags for a while

He’ll make you think it’s love, but I promise you it’s not

Bar Back - Lauren Alaina

You can have that coffee shop we went on our first date

I’ll give you back that sweatshirt, that one you know I love

I’m taking back that little hole in the wall, the red door sign saying “come on in y’all”

If I Was a Beer - Lauren Alaina

Honey you’re in luck, ‘cause I’m a fine, fine, wine. I’m a slow sweet pour, I can be a little bitter, but I ain’t a hard hitter, like a 30 from the grocery store

Waiting for Superman - Daughtry

She says “he’s still coming, just a little bit late”

She’s talking to angels, counting the stars, making a wish on a passing car

If life was a movie, then it wouldn’t end like this

Before You Go - Lewis Capaldi

When you hurt under the surface, like troubled water running could, well time can heal but this won’t

Before you go, was there something I could have said to make your heart beat better?

Our every moment, I start to replay, but all I can think about is seeing that look on your face @arrowsandmixtapes

Hard to Forget - Sam Hunt

It's kinda funny how I can't seem to get away from you, it's almost like you don't want me to

You’ve got a cold heart and the cold hard truth

Told me to leave all your things out on the porch on the swing

Oh you’re breaking my heart, baby you’re playing hard to forget

This is It - Scotty McCreery

You can open your eyes

Can’t you see forever

On top of the world here together

If there ever was a time for a perfect kiss, this is it

Wish You’d Miss Me - Chase Wright

I was good for you, you were bad for me

I was solid ground, you were broken wings

I gave you love you gave me pain

You gave me hell, I gave you grace

I knew all along that you were gonna leave

What a Man Gotta Do - Jonas Brothers

I’m not trying to be your part time lover, sign me up for that full time @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad

This Feeling - Chainsmokers ft. Kelsea Ballerini

I lay out all my reasons you say that I need help

They tell me think with my head, not that thing in my chest

They got their hands at my neck this time

I tell you all my secrets and you tell all your friends

Hold onto your opinions and stand by what you say

What Are You Gonna Tell Her - Mickey Guyton

She thinks life is fair

But what are you gonna tell her when she’s wrong?

What are you gonna tell her when she figures out that all this time you built her up just so the world could let her down?

Do you tell her not to fight?

Can you look her in the face and promise her that things will change?

#writing challenge #marvel writing challenge #jbbnn500 #mcu #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #bucky barnes #sam wilson #wanda maximoff #marvel

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resonanteye · 3 years

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via https://resonanteye.net/horror-movie-reviews-day-one-the-horror-of-everyday-life/

horror movie reviews: day one, the horror of everyday life

a series of reviews, two each day, of horror movies.

day one, movie one: # alive.

1: half the people are crazed and trying to kill the other half of the people, panic and mass casualties, violent infection, etc – yes, it’s 2020-2021 thank you, continue

2: infected people trying to get in and infect people who are quarantined, aggressive mental illness -yes, yes

3: your neighbors are all worse than you ever knew -yes. yes

4: cops eating each other -please do go on

5: oh no several days how will you ever survive with only ramen

two whole days of lockdown

6: so you’re warned to have plenty of food and water, yet you don’t immediately fill up the bathtub at least, or the sinks. and you don’t go into the zombie neighbor’s abandoned apartment to see if there’s food

7: too much tech, not enough walkie talkies. I doubt.

8: I get it, people expect the end of the world to be like, a switch flipped, but no. this shit draaaags forever

9: the golf club is reminiscent of funny games. maybe an intentional nod to his change in mental state

10: slapstick!

11: finally, foraging.

12: the Mormons are at the door

13: we have skipped two weeks, without water or food?

14: and finally the lights out- wouldn’t that go before the running water?

15: oh the melodrama. don’t be a moron, but this magical dude has been alive a month without water

16: Kim Yu-bin is keeping track of her shit. I bet he gets her killed. nice waterworld callback with watering the plant.

17: of course he’s that stupid, he’s the protagonist and you’re a competent woman in a movie. how else would it justify you endangering yourself for him?

18: oh, wait. he HAS water? from where?

19: finally the tech is worth a damn. and she’s feeding him, which is ok because yes helping each other matters but

20: ok yes the tech is nice, good point, this is a scene from hackers vs zombies. slapstick is fine. zombie big mad. give me back my hand you bastards

21: Jun-u. I had been ignoring his name the entire movie. This is a bad habit of mine with zombie stuff.

22: finally some decent fuckin plot movement. there’s kids, in a good movie he’d have to kill one. instead, a treasure trove of all the survival gear. it’s handy when someone else did the preparation FOR you. I mean damn

23: oooh she’s only alive to help HIM. what a fucking surprise

24: reminds me of the pandemic “share a window” website crossed with a gentle, normal mukbang (not a weird fetish feeder one)

25: the zombies are going hooome. the zombies are going hooooooome

26: ok yes sounds scary, looked scary but it seems like there’s only five of them at her door

27: she’s skilled. of course. melee fighter. I like that this isn’t the dumb-ass slow zombies, nor the superhuman ones. just regular people.

28: another pile up!

29: don’t drink koolaid from strangers, but spam? NO NOT THAT EITHER. of course there will be cannibals in this that aren’t sick, that’s another nice callback (the road) (dead alive). I’m still holding out hope a kid zombie gets killed, although it’s unlikely at this point.

30: holy fuckin generational-divide-monologue for the ages

31: oh damn a gunshot in South Korea.

32: look, Kim, I wasn’t given any backstory for you, but I really want you to outlive “regular dumb guy”. the suicide subplot is going nowhere and we both know it

33: it’s never a good look to be fighting zombie hordes on the stairs. I don’t know why, it just isn’t good. just stay in the damn apartment. please.

34: regular Joe, you are doing the right thing by staying behind, keep that up.

35: FUCK THIS SHITTY APARTMENT

36: finally, machine guns. sorry, I’m American. I’ve been waiting for an hour and a half for logic to set in

37: where are they even going? she’s cooler than him, why isn’t she getting messages? so I guess his Instagram saved her? is that a subversiveon of what I’ve been complaining about? I think it is.

7/10 excellent slapstick, callbacks, just enough humor without ruining the narrative. subversive ending in that he’s only in the movie for the sake of saving her life, and neither died. points deducted for lack of depth to the woman in the film, too much depth for the guy, and for showing us a lack of water then changing that enough to keep someone alive for 20 days. (also, he didn’t even fill up the sink, the hell)

number two, day one: condemned

this movie is about squatting, a lifestyle I’m too familiar with. let’s see how close to the mark it gets. oh, and zombie infection stuff. that too.

1: the supe is always the strangest thing in any building in NYC. always. this isn’t a narrator. this is realism.

2: when will rich kids learn that poverty isn’t an aesthetic? when will something that poor people authentically live through, be safe from commodification and the thievery of the privileged? where does class/cultural appropriation end? why are people using their yacht money on a tiny fuckin house? find out on the next episode of generation x, when we discuss the occup- wait no- this is just a zombie flick. sorry about that

3: I know she’s saying other shit on the phone but all I hear is “the rain was such a blessing”

4: montage is always good with good music over it. going anywhere in the city is basically a montage in reality

5: cigarettes cost 14 bucks in New York holy fuckin shit I’m old

6: ominous: “what could be worse than where you are now”, teens having sex, neon lighting, drainpipe footage, “what difference is a day gonna make”, “I won’t make the same mistake like I did in Vladivostok”

7: this bondage shit on the third floor is giving me a real, serious flashback to a job I did briefly which paid incredibly well. every time these characters show up I have a flashback, every time I watch this.

8: every character in this movie is someone I’ve met. every fuckin one. even cookie. I hate that and love it at the same time. I don’t know if you’ve ever lived in bad beat city but this is accuracy.

9: the glitch hallucination is wonderful. don’t show me people’s bad dreams, though. it’s a waste of film. especially someone’s dream who doesn’t know that squats don’t get the garbage picked up. at least he was gentle about her tourist status. (yes, that was fucking gentle. she’s visiting, but they LIVE there. he’ll show you the life of the mind)

10: the colors in this movie reminds me of Mermaid in a Manhole, an amazing movie itself- this is a compliment

11: yes punk means you puke and say “did you SEE that” yes it does

12: the way sickness spreads in close, unmaintained quarters is accurate too. these old buildings were originally tenements and were notorious for being built in a way that contributed to outbreaks of diseases. ny poverty history

13: the glitch used as stand-in for visual mirage is again amazing and continues to be throughout

14: that walk up all the stairs after a day at work to complain about the horror of everyday life, with a back crack and sore feet.

15: the cops are also accurate

16: the plot takes a nice strong left turn here, and it’s perfection. since the development of the plot cookie was leading us to doesn’t matter to the people in this building, it’s better to truncate it. and then we can get to business.

17: yes. if you die in a squat, you’re getting rolled in a carpet and left blocks away. you’ve got to. nobody’s gonna kill you but nobody’s going to be on the street over your ass either.

18: guitar axe skyline lightning. that may be a summary of the whole movie.

19: absolutely pitch perfect “you ruined new york city” rant for the ages

I used to live there

20: if the building wasn’t shit, this would be a nice Shining callback

21: FAWKKING

22: this movie just will not let you have any expected outcome. it’s brilliant.

23: I’ve lived in a brownstone that had a cellar which connected to every building on the block and beyond. that was in Philly, but the construction of this landscape is perfect.

full disclosure- I own this DVD and have watched it a lot. it’s one of my favorite movies, structurally and visually, and I think it’s one of the best horror movies made this decade.

#true stories

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papers4me · 4 years

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Fruits Basket SE02, Ep15

The anticipated” teacher conference”. While this ep is focused on yuki successfully overcoming his frightening “mother’s ghost”, I think it does a brilliant job amplifying the real “mother ghost” in the story.

A Mother’s Ghost:

Tohru is haunted by her mom’s ghost. Everything must stay as her mom wished:continue high school/find job. No selfish desires for herself. Nothing personal to pursue. past plans were made for two: a mother & daughter. Now she’s all alone. Future Status: In stagnation.

Kyo is haunted by two ghosts (his mom & kyoko). Literally two ghosts of two dead mothers. both deaths are supposedly caused by him. "you aren’t forgiven/won’t forgive you” are uttered by so many adults now, his father, Akito, the sohma’s & kyoko herself. Now he believes it, too. He must mend his mistakes by making sure the only two ppl he loves are safe. from him. Accuse a child of hideous things for too long, soon it becomes his reality. Future Status: Nonexistent.

Yuki is haunted by his mom’s ghost. tho his is alive & denying him affection, love & care. The old yuki would’ve got asthma attack & fainted. The new yuki is different. He isn’t alone. far more ppl have reached out to him. Tohru, Haru, kakeru & Aya. He had discovered warmth. The ghost isn’t scary as it used to be. It’s actually small & panicky. He’s stronger. Future status: hopeful & bright.

Real Mother vs Unknowing Mother Figure:

Yuki continues his plot line of moving forward & altho I suspected that he’ll receive help to overcome setbacks, I totally forgot abt Aya! XD. I thought tohru might’ve had a more active role in defending him as usual. But I’m glad she didn’t have any physical part in the conference scene cuz it helps the theme of yuki moving away from tohru & learning to lean on others until he can stand tall. Also, the writer excellently accelerated yuki’s growth using Ayame cuz (a) it helps strengthen their brotherly bond. (b) Yuki accepted his brother completely, thanked & defended him in front of his scary mom, adding to (c) Aya’s subplot of being rewarded for his many attempts to atone for neglecting yuki. (d) Teaching yuki that his scary mom can be rendered helpless in front of a confident person. (e) Yuki taking all that in & using it to stand up for himself by the end of the scene & articulate that His future is HIS. (f) yuki discovering that he doesn't need tohru’s help as much as before. (g) yuki realizing what he sought in tohru (motherly emotional nurture). Finally (h) tohru letting go of yuki!! She saw he doesn't need her as much anymore. While tohru obviously doesn’t look for a child/baby in yuki, she most genuinely cared for him as a friend but she also indulged in his issues to escape hers. the more the sohma’s get strong & don’t require much of her help, the more she’ll be forced to face her mom’s ghost..What will you do tohru if tomorrow the curse broke?.if all you have left is you & your mom’s picture..

Eating somen & its double meaning. a.k.a ( brilliant writing)!!!:

SE02, Ep.2, was the introduction to future planning. Kyo, troubled by his future, decided to eat comfort food & cooked somen. Tohru, troubled by her furure, couldn’t seep, joined in & cooked/eaten with him. Later Shigure & yuki joined. That day tohru felt so much better. Why? cuz she ate somen with friends? NO. Cuz she opened her heart & cried for herself. kyo made her,unwillingly, peek into her fears. Had she not talked & broke into tears, shigure wouldn’t have suggested the laundry analogy & enjoying the already cooked food together. The somen would’ve become just a normal late dinner in shigure’s house. The difference is kyo pushed tohru to acknowledge her tears. She resisted first “don’t kyo, don’t force me to look deeper”. Her tears turned into excitements by the end of the night, they all shared teasing & jokes.

Tohru wants that relieved feeling again. Except she wants it without opening her heart. She refuses to peek inside & cry over herself & her fears. She associated the feeling of relief with “eating somen with friends” NOT “facing your fears & opening up, accepting help”. She knows everybody is worried abt their future. so they must go home together & share somen. How did that work out? Laughing & teasing happened. but what abt the feeling of relief ? kyo is still worried abt hurting tohru, painfully gazing at her (not relieved), tohru still wears the happy mask, pretending all is fine (not relieved). Yuki calling his mom in dark corridor & fearing her (not relieved) Brilliant writing indeed! The only one who changed positively afterwards is yuki cuz he opened his lid in next scene, peeked inside & faced it by accepting help.

Tohru’s tight shit lid:

I had previously compared kyo’s feelings/ trauma with fire that spreads fast, burn him & hurt others. His trauma is tied strongly with death (kyoko) & suicide(his mom physically & him metaphorically thro confinement). How can you put out the fire without killing it? His trauma must be dealt/healed in a way that doesn’t kill the fire. Keep the light & warmth in it by igniting kyo’s desire to live. (I can’t figure out how & it’s driving me crazy!!!). Yuki’s feelings/trauma is a kin to a flowing river, calm in the surface but can flood dangerously & destroy. How can you fix it without rendering the river into a lifeless pond? by insuring it runs/flows regularly & reaches its destination!! Always changing & moving forward (already happening).

but what abt tohru? tohru’s feelings/trauma is a kin to a tiny flower. tender & fragile, it needs warmth, light & water to grow. This flower isn’t particularly prettier than the others nor rare. But it’s precious & provides joy. One might not notice that this flower is sick from the inside until it withers & dies silently.

Tohru’s closed box has more than her mom now. It has kyo. But why is kyo, who is a source of comfort to tohtu, is now paired with her mom’s saddest flashback?? Why can’t tohru accept loving kyo? altho tohru didn’t say it, we saw her shaken reaction to kyo’s confinement the day Akito told her & how she sought kazuma. Tohru might not have realized that kyo is her most loved one yet, but we as viewers don’t doubt it as the writer has amazingly led us thro their most normal & gradual relationship. Still it doesn’t explain why is kyo put away in tohru’s box along with kyoko’s haunting flashback & falling deep into the dark ocean of tohru’s darkest hidden thoughts?. Tohru hides pain.. why is loving kyo a pain to tohru?? why is she refusing to face her growing attachment to him?? she’s tragically lonely but she refuses to acknowledge her feelings of belonging to kyo?? could it be cuz she’s denying herself selfish desires? she doesn’t see herself worthy for him? tohru has often looked down on herself. Could it be thoru is scared of loving kyo? scared of being abandoned?? scared of changing herself? Weird!!!!!!I need More tohru!!!!

Side Notes:

Tohru’s story keeps getting more complicated emotionally in ways I haven't anticipated & I love it!! altho I don’t really get the part of fearing to love kyo?? it’s a bit weird since tohru has a loving nature. but hope to learn why soon.

kyo asks hana if she can read his heart with her waves. Also kyo openly stares fondly at tohru right in front of hana & co. boy is so preciously lovesick! XD.

Shigure is right. tohru isn’t his responsibility. Him providing support for her is already enough from a non-relative. I love his brash honesty.

Shigure/Mayu scene is the best comedy. I love their dynamics.

Kazuma’s “Its fine if you take as long as the others” is such inspiring line. It spoke to my heart! finding your future isn’t a competition!! It reinforces furuba’s brilliant message of everybody having their own pace. just cuz yuki is moving fast & healthy towards his future, doesn’t mean the others are less worthy for fearing a future or not finding the way to begin with. Everybody moves in different speed cuz they’re different ppl with different character traits, trauma. Also, foreshadowing!. Kyo’s lid will be opened last. Bring it on kyoko!

Is Aya the first sohma to get his happy ending/full redemption/achieved goal? YUP! fitting for Mr. Most-Confident!

Yuki’s conference scene is one of the well-directed, gives me hopes for tohru’s future dark story, but also it could mean the director is saving their craziest dramatic animation/adventures/experiments for her.. yikes!!!! plz NO.

Kyoko being a dotting mom, role model, gang member, cool friend & a chilling haunting ghost is brilliant story-telling!

tohru literally drawn in the sky after yuki saying ” you’re like the sky” is too much. lol.. but I’ll let it pass, it’s minor.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #excited paper #SE02

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chuckepisodes · 4 years

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Chuck vs. The Helicopter Part 4

Casey was still sitting on the floor, still feeling the effects of the dart. "Casey, he's got Sarah. We've got to save her." Chuck said. "Brilliant deduction, Nancy Drew. " "Hey..." you said starting to defend Chuck. "Now pull out the tranq dart! " "Oh, I have a very strong aversion to needles." " Do it!" "I got it Chuck." You pulled it out real quick and Chuck looked like he was going to be sick. "That was the doctor, right? He's probably not dead? " Chuck asked. "And the sun sets in the west. Nothing gets by you." You and Chuck both got on either side of Casey and helped him up. "One, two, three. what's he gonna do with Sarah?" you asked. "He's gonna torture her until she tells him all about you two. Come on. If we hurry, we can catch him. "

You then all started to rush over to Chuck's car. "All right, where are we going?" Chuck asked. " I laced my quiches with micro bots." " You're not kidding, are you? " you asked. "I don't kid about quiche." Casey said looking over at you in the back. "We can trace him using the car's tracker." " Yeah, I think that only comes with the sports package. " "We made some enhancements when your car was in the shop. " All of a sudden a tiny screen came up, tracker all set. "What?! Did you do that to my car too?" you asked. "Well we always seem to be using Chuck's car so no." "Oh...that's cool." you said trying to not sound disappointed. "Got a signal. Let's go."

Chuck floored it. You all found yourselves pulling into the Buy More. Chuck parked the car and you all quickly got out. You went through a side door at the back, being quiet. "Let's go. " "Hey, Casey, Casey. Wait a minute. Why, why would he bring Sarah here? " Chuck asked. "I don't know." "You two wait here." He then fell down to the floor and quickly got up. The dart still affecting him. "Damn tranq dart. come on." You all then heard screams coming from the home theatre room and quickly but quietly made your way over. You moved the curtains out of the way only to find Morgan sitting there, eating food and watching an old horror film. "It's Morgan." You said. " He ate your quiches." Chuck added. " We're on the wrong trail." You all got back into the car, figuring where Zarnow could have taken Sarah. Casey was trying to track her somehow but nothing was coming up. "I got nothing." "What do you mean you got nothing? Then what do we do?" Chuck asked. " It's over. She's gone. No, no, no, no, no. Okay, this is our fault. We didn't believe her. Now we have to save her." you said. " Look, if you were a bad guy, what would you do, fly Sarah out on a plane? Would you use a boat or a-a-a what"" Chuck asked. "Chopper. Small airfield near the water. The closest I could find." " Then do-do a satellite search using the touch screen and then maybe limit that to airfields that are within a certain range of us and then maybe limit that by if there's activity on the ground?" Chuck said. " That's not bad." Casey said impressed. "Nice Chuck!" " Thanks. Yeah, I was just kind of, you know, spit balling, just kind of top of my head." Casey punched some info in. "Found it. Port of Los Angeles. " "Floor it." you said. " Okay."

You all made it to the port and saw the helicopter as well as a guy with a huge gun coming out of it. This was the spot. Casey then turned to look at you both. "This is how this is gonna work. I'm gonna go over there, rescue Sarah, and capture Dr. Zarnow, shoot anybody who gets in my way. You two, you're gonna stay here. " "So, in this plan we basically do nothing? " you asked. "Yep." " Let's do this." you and Chuck said at the same time. Casey nodded then got out of the car. You then climbed up front to sit beside Chuck. "All right, all right. Now we wait." Chuck said. You then both looked over and saw Zarnow coming out of a warehouse. "Uh Chuck?" "Stay in the car. Stay in the car. Do not leave the car. Do not leave this car." "We aren't staying in the car are we?" you asked. Chuck then turned to look at you. "Nope." "Let's go then." You and Chuck got out of the car and Chuck came up close to you. "Stay close Y/N." You nodded looking at him and you both quietly walked into the warehouse. You were sneaking around when you noticed Sarah first, her wrists chained up above her head and a duct tape over her mouth. You tapped on Chuck's arm and pointed. Sarah then turned and noticed you both as well. You quickly ran up to her. "Sarah, are you okay?" you asked. "What are you doing here?" she was saying through the piece of tape. "Stupid question." you said. "Okay, uh, should I... ? " Chuck started and then ripped off the piece of tape. "Sorry. " "Y/N, Chuck, you have to get out of here." " No, we're here to save you." you said. " You guys shouldn't even be here; you're too valuable, and, besides, I have this well in hand." " Uh-huh, yeah, 'cause it looks well in hand." Chuck pointed out. You jabbed him in the side with your elbow. "Ow!" " Just find me something to pick this lock." Chuck found something that could work and handed it over to Sarah. All of a sudden Zarnow was coming back in. "Go, go, go! The tape, the tape." Sarah urged. Chuck quickly put the tape back over Sarah's mouth then he grabbed you and pulled you along with him to find somewhere to hide. You both ended up hiding behind a wall that still had a spot to see what was going on. The whole time you were both hiding, Chuck kept his arm around you. You watched as Zarnow approached Sarah. "The helicopter's ready, agent Walker. This is your last chance. We're going to a special facility where they're going to torture you. Really torture, not this child's play. Or you could just tell me who are the patients X." He then pulled out a needle. "Something for the flight." "Oh crap!" Chuck ended up saying it a little too loud. Zarnow heard and looked over to find the two of you. "Run!" you yelled. "Oh crap! Oh crap!" Chuck held onto your hand pulling you along with him. Zarnow then threw the needle which ended up going right past Chuck's face, sticking into a box. You pulled Chuck closer to you. You then both turned to look at him and began to flash, learning all his secrets. "We know you. We know your secret." Chuck said. " You-you've been feeding American science to north Korea for years." You said. " Ah, patients X. To think that my secrets are in those heads of yours. It's an honor, really. Of course, to hell with honor. I'm here for the impressive dollar figure the human intersects will fetch." He had the dart gun pointed at you both. Chuck saw him about to pull the trigger and pushed you out of the way before he shot. Chuck ended up getting hit with a dart in the chest. "Chuck!" you screamed. Chuck said your name before falling to the ground. You went to go hide quickly before he could find you too and shoot you as well. A guy then came up and started dragging Chuck to the helicopter. You wanted to run and save Chuck so badly but you knew you needed to help Sarah first. You ran over to her to try and help when Casey came in to give you a hand. Once you finally got Sarah free you looked over at Casey. "They've got Chuck! We need to go save him now!" You said, worry clear in your voice. "Don't worry Y/N, we'll get him back." Sarah reassured putting her hand on your arm. She knew how you felt about Chuck. You never told her but it was obvious.

You both ran out and saw the chopper leaving. Casey was about to shoot when Sarah put his arm down. "Don't shoot! Chuck will be on there." You were all looking up when you noticed the helicopter was flying all over the place. You were all able to get a good look at who was flying it and it looked to be Chuck. "Oh my God." you said. "Oh, my God, Casey, I think Chuck's flying the chopper." Sarah then said. Casey then grabbed his phone and dialed Chuck's number. "Yeah, I'm here." Chuck answered. " I told you two to stay in the car." You know what? Forget about the car. Tell me how to fly a helicopter. And is Y/N okay?" "Y/N is fine. All right, there's a collective in the cyclic control. " "What?" "One's the stick. One looks like an emergency brake. Grab 'em both." "Okay, okay, I got it. This is not working!" " Push the stick just a bit forward while doing the same thing with the emergency brake." "Ground-- not good." " Pull up! Pull up! Pull up on the emergency brake! Level off. Level off! " "I don't know how. I don't know how to level off! " "Listen, moron, you want to die?" You were panicking watching this all unfold. "Give me the phone, Casey. I think I know how to help him." you said. " Here." "Chuck?" "Y/NN?! You okay?" "I'm fine Chuck. Let's worry about you though." you said trying to sound calm. "Okay. Okay." "Now we have played a lot of games together. Can you remember any of the flight simulators we played though?" "Uh yeah! Uh, maverick of the skies... uh, stealth fighter elite... uh, chopper patrol." "Okay! The last one! Now just pretend that we are playing the game at your place. We are just chilling in your bedroom playing this game. None of this is real." "It's just a game. It's just a game. Okay, I can do this. I can play this game. " "Easy, Chuck, easy" ". Uh... uh, is this one of those helicopters that can turn into a boat?" he said while flying over the water. " No, it isn't. Just ease to the right and goose the brake. They designed the game exactly like the helicopter." "I got it. I got it. Almost there. A little more to the right. Keeping right. Keeping right. Goosin' the brake. It's just a game. A big scary video game. " He then slowly but surely landed the chopper on the ground. "oh, thank you, god! oh, yes! You are wonderful." Chuck cheered. You smiled real big and started running over to him. You saw Chuck jump out and do a little dance. "And that is how... I do... that! That's how we do that." "Oh my God Chuck!" You jumped on him, giving him the biggest hug ever and breathing a sigh of relief. Chuck instantly wrapped his arms around you. "Hey, hey, hey. It's okay Y/NN. I'm okay." "I know." He squeezed you tighter then put you down. You both turned to see Sarah and Casey approaching you both. "Go team! Up top on that one!" he said raising his hand. "What the Hell were you thinking?!" Sarah yelled. "Chuck, the secrets that you two know are incredibly important. You compromised everything when you two stopped trusting me." Sarah said now looking at you two. "And when you got out of the car." Casey added. "Listen, I'm... I'm sorry, okay?" Chuck said. "Listen this was not all Chuck's fault . I went along with it too." You said, not wanting Chuck to get all the blame. " No, it is not okay. How could you guys think I was the double, huh? You know, I am not Bryce. Bryce betrayed everything that I believe in, and if you ever accuse me of that again, then I will walk away. Mission over. We all go back to Washington. And you do not want that to happen. That you should trust me on." Sarah then began to walk away. "Way to go ace." Casey said before walking away as well.

You went with Chuck back at his place. Your car was parked there again. But before you left, you sat down on the fountain, bringing Chuck down with you. "What's the matter Y/N?" he can see the concern on your face. "I just... you have no idea how scared I was tonight. Seeing you get shot by a dart, getting dragged away..." you started trying not to cry. Chuck sighed. He hated that you had to see that and he imagined he would be feeling the same way as you if it was the other way around. "I'm so sorry Y/N. If we had just stuck to the plan and stayed in the car none of that would have happened." "Chuck it's not your fault. I went along with it too you know." You said looking at him giving him a little smile. "You know though, I probably would have never been able to land that chopper if you weren't there. You saved my ass tonight." "I did didn't I?" you said smirking. He let out a soft laugh then put his arm around you, pulling you close to him. "Again. I'm so sorry Y/NN. I hope to never make you feel that way again." "Our lives are different now so I don't think we can guarantee that that kind of situation will happen again. We just need to have each other's back and protect each other." you said leaning your head on his shoulder. "You know I'm always going to protect you Y/N." "You always have Chuck." You two just stayed that way for a little longer, thankful to be each other's company.

#Chuck Series Rewrite #Chuck #Chuck TV Series #Chuck x Reader #Chuck Bartowski #Chuck Bartowski x Reader #Zachary Levi

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mysticdragon3md3 · 3 years

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md3 watches Primal

7:25 AM 5/30/2021

I thought that watching Primal would elicit the same emotive quality in me, that watching the expressions in Godzilla vs King Kong and Rampage did. But turns out those giant animals were much more affectionately empathic than the giant animals in Primal. The relationship between Spear and Fang isn't just affectionate caring. They get annoyed with each other, have fights, and aren't so "touchy feely". Primal reminds me that there is a wider range of emotions that can be silently emoted.

(Sorry I didn't write reactions to ep1-3. I've been trying to not turn everything I watch into a production.)

7:39 AM 5/30/2021

Genndy Tartakovsky's Primal ep4 starts

8:01 AM 5/30/2021

Wow.that was a lot of fun ^o^

I haven't watched an action-adventure series in a while, if I was this surprised by the problem solving solutions that the protatonists came up with: using the spider thread to climb down; using the raptor pack vs teh pack of bats.

8:02 AM 5/30/2021

Genndy Tartakovsky's Primal ep5

This series has got me on so high-alert, that I keep expecting something horrible to appear as part of this peaceful cove. I thougth the butterflies would be poisonous. I thought a big sea serpent woudl appear from the deeper part of the water. I thought the pollen would be poisonous. I thought that some bigger predator would appear, to explain why the fish were too docile or why the resources of that cove weren't used up already.

Hey, the title of the episode is "Rage of the Ape Men". Maybe that cove was a sacred site that no one was supposed to touch.

Well, if you wanted to set up a society that's super ritualistic or religious, without dialogue, this is how you do it. O.o

With the beatings that Fang can take, sometimes I think she has a healing factor...and an indestrucable skeleton...She's Wolverine. lol

Oh no! but there are 10 episodes of this series according to Google! Fang can't be dead! ;o;!

8:30 AM 5/30/2021

Genndy Tartakovsky's Primal ep6 "Scent of Prey"

Yay! Fang is alive! ;o;!

I like these episodes that really linger on how Spear and Fang care for each other.

Aaaaand she's back! ^o^

8:52 AM 5/30/2021

Ok. I'll pick up on ep7 later. I should have brushed my teeth and gone to bed. Then again...I'm not really sleepy anymore...

2:32 PM 5/31/2021 Finished Primal ep8 "Coven of the Damned". I guess I didn't write notes for it while I watched. But I actually watched most parts of this episode ages ago, through YouTube reaction vids. So I wonder if I have an old journal file with my reactions from back then, when I watched those reaction vids.

11:36 AM 5/31/2021

Genndy Tartakovsky's Primal ep7

Is that a zombie dinosaur?!?!?

Dont' let it into the water supply!

Ithink now's the time to run!

Nooo! It bit the apatosaurus! ;o;

Oh now, the zombification worked fast! ;o;!

So isthis poor infected dino infecting the water supply? ;_; Well, if it wasn't by drinking before, spewingblood into the water now is going to do it. ;_;!

The sad part is whoever fights the zombie apatosaurus to save the eggs is going to get bit and infected.

Why is the infected zombie dino faster than the healthy dino running away????? Noooo! Don't die! Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! ;O;

Well...now I remember how burtal this series is.

Dang,this zombie apatosaurous is scary.

I was afraid it was going to start infecting a herd of another pack of dinos at the bottom of that canyon.

Is it dead...????

Aw, Fang is scared for Spear.

I really hope one of theose postules doesn't burst onto them. Man, Infections are scary.

Oh, you've gotta be kidding me. ...She says while absolutely knowing this trope would happen. ^^; Hey, it's still effective! At least when Tartakovsky does it.

Omg when will this poor thingbe put out of its misery?

Is this a literal use of "out of the frying pan and into the fire"? lol

Gonna have to kill that poor thing.

OMG Nothing is killign this thing! Even lava! You guys jsut wanted to do a zombie episode, huh?

At least lava is heat that will kill the virus.

Poor thing.

"Ashes to ashes" huh.

Dang this seriesis beautiful. Genndy Tartakovsky does good work!

But seriously, this is distracting. I have to put on a different video. ;_;

4:28 AM 6/1/2021

Genndy Tartakovsky's Primal ep9 "The Night Feeder"

omg I can't believe that Spear didn't take Fang's celar warnign to run away!

Maybe a big snake? Fang is already established to be freaked out by snakes after the River of Snakes episode. And the big cat's killing must have been set in a jungle for a reason.

Nevermind. That predator perspective sounds like feet.

Why arne't the triceratops continuign to run?!?!???? ;O;!

Well, if it's a "night feeder" maybe they're safe by the fire.

Oh yeah, predators can come in teh day, just as much as night in this world. They may not be accustomed to a "night feeder" that only comes at night. Reminds me of how my dad who grew up in a haunted house, used to always say how funny it was that horror movie ghost stories always took place at night, as if scary/weird things didn't also happen in the day too.

It's funny how much tension is in that fire going out, while simply knowing the title of this episode.

So scared for Fang not being shown running as fast as Spear. Evne though I know she can.

Ok. What is it?

And why is it so fast? Sonic blasts?

What the heck? Why did Spear and Fang run in different directions? Ok, and what's teh black goo?

I was scared before, but now I"m just curious what the monster is.

Having this final battle with this specialized tactic from the protagonists, but shown from the perspective of the enemy/monster is really interesting.

It was just another dinosaur? Really? Ok, sure. I guess sometimes there are just all types of dinos.

---------------------

4:48 AM 6/1/2021

ep10 "Slave of the Scorpion"

Why throw back teh fish? That's still food. You can catch a bigger one afterwards.

What the heck?!? A human?!?

Fang is your friend. Gotta priorizie helping Fang.

Is he going to stop Fang's growling eahc time? lol

Oh yeah...The body language for "afraid" also looks like "cold".

Wow. A whoel civiliation that can work metal, uses tattoos to brand people, creates a system of slavery... Where exactly did this person come from?

Wait a second. Is Primal actually set in a "land of the lost"? And not just prehistoric times? omg

Well, she recognizes the plants in this area so it can't be all that different from where she comes from. If her civiliation has agriculture and uses the same plants... So this isn't a "land of the lost" situation.

I was just thinkign that if she comes from an organized settlement civilization she would have been the type of person who would've tried talkign to Spear already. lol. So she says her name is "Mia".

i'm really surprised that Spear missed teh chicken, but I guess it was a little small for his usual targets.

I'm always excited to watch a sequence of "Telling a story through pictures" made by animators and cartoonists. I feel like I'm about to watch a masterclass in effective storytelling.

Gotta pan back to show the carnage left behind! lol Most of the carnage in this series is beautiful or feels meaningful, but what was that pan?

So Mia's captors took her back...And they put up skulls of the tool-using primates to scare them off?

omg I sthe episode going to end with Mia taken away? ;o;! omg! Is there a 2nd season announced for this series?!??????

Oh, her name is "Mira".

5:13 AM 6/1/2021

Yay! Finished the series! I hope it gets another season.

5:14 AM 6/1/2021

YouTube sais there are 2 seasons! ...Oh. Each season is 5 episodes. The 10 episodes on HBO Max are the "2 seasons" on YouTube.

#md3watches #reactions #genndy tartakovsky #primal #cartoons

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letterstothemidnightsociety · 4 years

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THAT’S RIGHT BITCH! It’s October and I am still watching and inexplicably blogging about Supernatural - a dinosaur of a television show that’s been on the air longer than most children I know have been alive.

I know I’m An Old because I don’t think kids these days understand the struggle it was watching television before streaming. We had to wait for episodes. Hell, I don’t think kids these days even really have to wait for seasons. I mean, Voltron premiered on Netflix in 2016, capped off their seasons at 13 episodes a piece and, oh yeah - aired seasons 5 - 8 all in 2018. Was I mad about that? No of course not. Do I also say phrases like “kids these days? Yes, so who even knows if what I think is relevant anymore.

Alright, so speaking of seasons, last time I looked at pilots and pilot seasons and how the streaming era is changing everything we know about starting a TV show. But once you’ve got your pilot down, now what?

Not this kind of pilot. Also, based on the prerequisites for demon possession, we’re all agreed this co-pilot’s like, an alcoholic, right?

There’s a rule in TV (sort of) that the first six episodes (some might argue the first season entirely) should be a kind of rehash of the pilot. The pilot sets up your premise and once you’ve got your pilot down, your job as a TV writer is to re-establish that premise over and over again. You’re building your world, you’re writing it’s rules. You’re setting up a template, a formula for how your episodes are gonna play out. This helps your audience get to know the characters, get familiar with your world, get comfortable spending time with them. Essentially, you’re getting your audience to trust the show that they’re going to be tuning in to for at least the next 20-some-odd episodes.

I’d also argue that this is important so that later, you can break that format later. I’m not saying you should break the trust your audience puts in you, and that’s probably a real fine line of distinction. But if you break your rules right, it can hit the audience with a big emotional sucker punch. Or, it can stand out as a real breakout, tentpole of an episode - I’m thinking specifically about Ghostfacers! In season 3, or Once More, With Feeling, from Buffy. Those episodes work, really work, because they deviate from the formula, but they only work because we know the formula so well. And these aren’t big changes to the way episodes are done, they’re just shifted ever so slightly that they felt new again..

So what is the premise of the first four episodes Supernatural? What’s the formula they set up for the rest of the series?

Brothers. I said it in my last post, I’ll say it again, Sam and Dean/Jensen Ackles and Jared Jared Padalecki are what makes this show. Full stop. I think we could have gotten 5 seasons out of a show starring two other dudes. I do not think this show could have gotten 15 seasons with two other dudes. So from the pilot through Phantom Traveler, we learn that Sam and Dean have a sh*tty home life - their mother was killed by some mysterious evil thing and their father raised them to be little demon-hunting child soldiers while they look for the killer. Oh yeah, and Sam’s girlfriend died the exact same way which we will never forget because Sam’s gonna have a dream about it almost every episode from here on out. We set up the tension between the brothers - that Sam got to go to college while Dean stayed with their dad like a good boi. We learn that everybody hates each other probably because they are deeply and unhealthily codependent love each other so damn much.

Next we get the basic rundown of the season arc:

Dad’s on a hunting trip and he hasn’t been home in a few days. The Winchester brothers are looking for him and by extension, looking for answers as to what killed their mom/Sam’s girlfriend. We also get the basic rundown of every episode: dad is a mysterious and elusive sonuvuabitch, so every episode they go about, say it with me now:

“The family business.” I would also accept “Killing as many evil sons of bitches as I possibly can,” but why can’t I find a gif for it?!?

Backtracking on this but you know what else gets hecking established with the Winchesters? Sam is the cute one with the people skills and the puppy dog face, so you’d naturally assume that he’s the soft one. No. Not the case. Dean is the Sofffft Boi. The SOFTest boi. Dean wants Sam to talk about his feelings, Dean wants Sam to not keep things bottled up, Dean is the one who desperately wants to keep a hold of his family and also is just deeply broken and traumatized on the inside and oh no, I told myself I wouldn’t do this but I did it anyway. Sorry not sorry. This watch, I’m really picking up on the fact that Dean is, weirdly, the Mom Friend in this first season. Like, he’s basically a Trailer-Trash-Teen-Pregnancy Mom who’ll give you spaghettios five nights a week and a shot of whiskey so you’ll quit yer bitchin’ and go to sleep faster, but he’s the Mom nonetheless. Later in this season and in other seasons, I think you even see him do his dumb-baby-best filling in as the Mom when John went off the deep end. Anyway, I have a lot of feelings and we don’t have time to unpack all of that so I’ll just move on.

RUDE.

Next we set up our Supernatural Bag of Holding - what’s in it? What are the mystical artifacts they use to kill those evil sons of bitches? First up is The Car. Damn, I am not a cars girl, but that 67 Chevy, it does things to me.

This car has some weird pavlovian trigger for me, it’s not NATURAL.

The journal.

John Winchester, you journal the way I imagine a psycho killer journals and I would just really appreciate it if you could be ANY MORE ORGANIZED THAN THIS.

The Trunk Full of Weapons - I love that in these first few episodes (and possibly the rest of the series???) they give this HELLA conspicuous look every time they open the trunk full of weapons. It’s hilarious EVERY TIME.

No, you’re not being obvious at ALL, guys.

The Fake ID’s - from credit cards to impersonating feds, these boys are not afraid to break the law to save some lives and I feel like that’s...that’s the theme of the show maybe? They’re here to save people and they’ll do what they have to to do that? In a world that clearly establishes a dark vs. light/good vs. evil dichotomy, the Winchester make it their job to live in a world of grey? Basically?

Next on the checklist for this first season of Supernatural - it’s spoopy. *Spoop mileage may vary.* I said it last time, but I’ll say it again: this first season aired at 9:00pm at night. That means it’s primetime stuff for the 18 - 25 year old crowd, but they don’t want to risk some 13 year old watching it and getting too scared before bed. 9:00pm is X Files time slots, Fringe time slots. 9:00pm says you’re gonna get something a little more gruesome and gory and shocking than at 8pm. 8pm is for Friends. Vampire Diaries aired at 8pm its first season. 9pm is for the real adult content (but not too adult because the audience is still mostly children).

SPOOP!

But yeah, let’s look at the real horror vibe that you get off of these first four episodes. We talked about La Llorona from the first episode - this is a legit ghost that they fight. The kids at the end that literally drag their mom to hell? Pretty spooky stuff. The Wendigo in episode 2 is a literal monster of the week and so for me personally, it’s not that scary, but it is a cannibal monster that eats human flesh. Dead in the Water has vibes from both Jaws and Friday the 13th. Everything from the lighting to the sound design let’s you know this is a horror show, or as horror as you can get on network television. Listen to the scenes just before somebody dies and you get a nice creepy “Come play with me” whisper coming out of the water. I’m a little spooked just thinking about it now. Yes I know I’m a chicken, and I’m OK WITH THAT. And if we go past my season 1 disc 1 into episode 5, Bloody Mary is STILL terrifying and I STILL watched that episode with half my face covered. That’s where I am these days. It’s 2020 and the world is a nightmare but imagining Bloody Mary creepin’ out in my mirror does not need to be a part of it.

SHE F*CKIN CLIMBS OUT OF THE MIRROR GUYS! I DIDN’T KNOW SHE COULD DO THAT!!!

Then we get Phantom Traveler and our very first case of black-eyed-demonic possession. Watching this episode now, it’s like watching someone’s home movie of their first steps as a baby. They’ve never even done an exorcism before guys! They have to read the exorcism rite out of the journal! It’s so cute!!! Let’s not think too hard about how they got that full sized bottle of holy water past TSA in a post-9/11 world. And try to ignore how poorly these special effects have aged - the smoke from the demon possession?? OMG! THIS EFFECT! I’m pretty sure I could make that effect with my first ever graphic design software on my, like, 2009 mac book pro. So cute and soooo good! I’m gonna leave that CG plane alone, they’re doing their best.

SO cute and SOOO good!

You want to know what my favorite established staple of Supernatural season 1 is? The extras. LOOKIT these guys -

Wendigo you have Cory Monteith who later goes on to star in Glee.

You have Alden Ehrenreich, Debatable Han Solo, doing a lot of face work with very little dialogue.

You have Gina Holden who is in SO. MANY. Spooky-type things! My personal favs are Blood Ties and Harper’s Island, but she’s in Fringe, she’s in the SAW franchise, she’s in the Final Destination franchise, she was in some deleted scenes on an episode of Teen Wolf! I LOVE seeing Gina Holden, anywhere she pops up.

And speaking of Harper’s Island, you’ve also got Callum Keith Rennie who played John Wakefield in Harper’s Island, a show that was A+ Great and I highly recommend if you like Agatha Christie and/or murder mysteries.

Honestly, Rennie looks like he’s about to murder a bitch in this episode of Supernatural, it is not a stretch to believe he’s a psycho killer.

Dead in the Water you’ve got Amy Acker, a regular in Joss Whedon and Whedon-adjacent type shows.

Good LORD, this wardrobe was SO 2000′s WB and it PAINED me.

And finally in Phantom Traveler, you have Jaime Ray Newman who also shows up in a lot of the shows that I like to watch. She was in Eureka, she was in Midnight Texas, both kind of terrible shows that I love because they are terrible, but she was ALSO in Bates Motel and Veronica Mars, which are generally considered to be more quality, so there’s that.

This still implies that they actually LIT scenes, which is a SURPRISE TO ME.

Point is, seeing these actors in Supernatural back in the early 2000’s felt like I was seeing the start of their careers. That may or may not have been the case, but as a viewer it was exciting to see them pop up again in other things.

So what about TV now? Do we still use those first 6 (sometimes more) episodes to re-establish the premise? Well, it certainly hasn’t gone away. Look at any network show that still produces 22 - 24 episodes a season and you’ll still see that the pilot season just keeps re-iterating the premise established in the pilot episode, specifically in anything that’s procedural - that’s you’re monster/problem-of-the-week shows. Think sitcoms like Brooklyn 99 or Superstore or dramedies like Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist. The reason being that these shows play in the traditional model of television - on a network, once a week. They are not releasing episodes all at one time or relying on their audiences to stream a whole season in one sitting. These are shows that still assume that someone out there is going to tune in or stumble across their show one night while they’re surfing channels (lol) and need to be told, no matter what episode they’ve just turned on, what the premise of the show is. They need to be formulaic so that people can pick it up anywhere at any time.

But what about shows that don’t follow this traditional model? I mentioned in my last post that seasons are getting shorter and shorter, so when you’re writing a show that only has (8) episodes instead of 22, how much time do you really want to spend establishing the premise? Because of these short seasons, you’re also dealing with shows that are more serialized and less procedural than their predecessors - meaning, you’re dealing with a show that focuses on a season long story (think Game of Thrones or Stranger Things where each episode is an important chapter that you can’t skip) vs. a procedural (think the shows I mentioned above or any cop drama really) where each episode is it’s own contained story, neatly wrapped up at the end. These are shows where you can skip an episode and still know where you are in the show no matter where you start or stop watching. Supernatural is a little bit of both - procedural with their monsters of the week AND serialized with a season long arc. We’ll talk more on that in a later post.

Not only are we getting shorter seasons, but we’re also dealing with shows that are not released over long periods of time. A few streaming channels, like Disney+ and HBO Max, make a deliberate point to slow-drip their seasons, but most streaming channels will release entire seasons in one shot. You don’t need to worry about your audience missing an episode because they have 24/7 access to all the episodes all at once. And for the most part, they’re designed to be binged. They start at full speed and they don’t slow down to keep driving you to the finale.

Do I think the procedural is ever going to go away? No. As much talk as there is about dropping the cop drama from TV all together, I think audiences still love a good mystery series. And you can’t just think of procedurals as cop dramas either - a procedural also covers most if not all sitcoms. New Girl, Letterkenny, Parks and Rec, Superstore - these all have a premise that doesn't change from week to week. They may make tiny shifts away from what they set up in the pilot, but by and large, you know what you’re getting into any time you turn on an episode. I think we as an audience still like that kind of familiarity. We may be seeing a bigger swing towards more serialized content, but that doesn't mean that the procedural is dead and gone.

So that’s what we’ve got for Supernatural - two dudes, driving around in a car full of spears and hand guns, killing bad guys. Some day, they may even find that father that’s missing. What could possibly go wrong? A lot. Stay tuned.

#Supernatural #Supernatural Season 1 #Supernatural Rewatch #Sam #Dean #Winchester #Pilot #Wendigo #Phantom Traveler #Television #History of television #Dead in the Water #Jensen Ackles #jared padalecki

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polygon-streams · 5 years

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22/04/19 - Jenna & Pat streaming Days Gone

Pat and Jenna are streaming Days Gone for one hour because that’s how much they’re allowed to show us. The game is about fighting zombies (”freakers”), other humans, and keeping the main character’s brother alive, but mostly actually about riding a hog around. They also discuss the horror genre, Alien vs Aliens and if you can pet dogs in this game.

Link to the VOD.

The stream starts with a “Stay Tuned” screen, but Jenna is welcoming people in the chat.

“I’m just oiling my bike up, polishing my decals.”

“Yes I am steaming up my hawg”

Pat enters the chat to say “Yeehog”

Video starts at just after 6:00, Pat begins by saying “Yeehog” out loud, Jenna echoes back, Pat then immediately goes to fix sound levels

Jenna’s bike is named “The Tenderloin” and we’ll see why when she starts running down some zombies

Jenna’s played about 10 hours of this game, but we’re back to a specific save

Pat: “It seems like a video game” Jenna: “It certainly is that”

Subs get turned on, game audio gets turned down, Jenna says writing of the game is surprisingly good

Jenna: “about to make some friends”, Jenna then attacks and kills a man with a bat

Stealth is important in this game, freakers (zombies) can take a lot of damage, but stealth attacks allow one hit kills

Explanation of the game: it is like Last of Us, but with “sick hogs”

“There were no hogs in Last of Us, which I think is one of the biggest shortcomings.” - Pat

This is one hour into the game play and they’re only allowed to show us one hour of the game from this point, if they go over time Sony will send a biker gang and Jenna will be in trouble for being “too cool a biker”

An important mechanic of the game is marking “boyos” with binoculars, because enemies wander and it tracks their health

Pat thinks zombies sound like they are eating spaghetti. He also makes spaghetti eating noises. Don’t like that.

Jenna hasn’t had an issue with ammo management, Pat is excited for some “hog action”

Chat asks if the game is running at 60 fsp. Pat: “My gamer eyes tell me big no”

Chat really likes Pat’s gamer eyes

Embargo on this game is apparently pretty strict and maybe the lower fps is a preview setting

“Should we go deal with Crazy Willie’s infestation?” - Pat

Pat: “Oh, cool, you got a fleshlight” Jenna: “Uh, yeah, I guess you could call it that”

Pat, at the chat: “I said flashlight, why is everyone being weird?” (No, you didn’t)

The controller starts speaking and neither of them like it

They’re talking about hogs now, Jenna: “Hog ride real good”, “Hell yes you can drift this hog”, her previous hog got “metroided” (Pat’s word)

Jenna just ran over a zombie for chat. She did that for us.

Someone from chat says “Jenna is too good at games to know what happens when you fuck up”, Jenna is one with the hog, in tune with it

Jenna doesn’t like zombies surprise attacking her since she’s talking on stream

She goes to deal with a zombie infestation and keeps saying she’ll “release the Molly” (Molotov cocktails), she is nervous because there weren’t many zombies inside the nest

Apparently the freakers eat each other ??? like when one of them is dead, the other will eat it

Jenna kills a zombie, Pat: “Knife to meet you”

She said that if you kill a zombie, you keep their EAR!!

There are children zombies, which are called newts, and adult zombies will sometimes attack and kill them, which is “something”

There are human enemies in this game as well, Jenna: “as we all know, humanity is the true monster”

Pat says the zombs seem really dumb

He thinks they’re too easy to kill, but I think Jenna is just too good at gaming

They’re talking about horror! (timestamp 27:30, if you want a discussion about the origin of zombies in this game and whether they are infected or not)

Jenna says that she keeps thinking we’re over zombies, but we’re not, she predicts environmental horror as next big thing

“We’re seeing an emergence of horror movies where people without disabilities are forced to live the life of people with disabilities. Which isn’t great.” Go off Jenna.

Pat talks about Godzilla and climate change, also he thinks the new Godzilla looks good because it looks like a bunch of big monsters fighting

Pat asks Jenna what her favourite horror archetypes are

Jenna likes witches, but doesn’t like how a lot of the stuff is like “what if we were right for burning witches”, she also likes undead and cult stories

Jenna doesn’t like and understand the grading - she got 44% and doesn’t understand why

Pat says he thinks it looked boring, Jenna says she’s already done this story, so she knew what to expect

Continuing with horror (timestamp 31:00): Alien or Aliens? Pat likes the first one more, the second one is “a bunch of James Cameron bullshit”, they then discuss why they like the first film more

They are wondering how much of a good guy the main character is, as he kills nearly all other humans he meets, Pat: “and then a book about their murder plans falls from their body”

Oh we’re meeting Jenna’s in-game brother. A cult burned his arm because they didn’t like his tattoos. Pat doesn’t like his tattoos either. Jenna appreciates the aesthetic of a full head tattoo.

Jenna likes that every time the main character is asked where his brother is, he tells a different lie about his location.

Pat asks about “bike juice”, they then discuss game mechanics regarding the bike

Jenna’s having some hog trouble, she ran into a fence.

Jenna’s riding to go “fuck up some humans who have done nothing to us, but someone’s paying us to do it”

Oh shoot Jenna drove too far into the human’s camp and everyone is swarming to the bike, she stealth kills some from a bush, then runs away while shooting from an AK, Pat provides extra sound effects

Someone from chat asks what happens when you die, Pat says that that’s a difficult philosophical question, another ask is if the main character is going to hell, Jenna says definitely, there was some drug delivering she had to do

Jenna killed another guy with a wooden plank, Pat: “You just introduced him to the newest millennial trend: planking.”

Chat is mad at Pat for that

They discuss Rockstar-type open world games and having to do stuff for characters you don’t like

Jenna: “You know he’s [main character] a good guy, because he let that one woman go, despite killing ten people just before.”

Everyone in chat is saying that Deacon, main character, is a true feminist (probably because he saved that one woman???)

Pat points out that the location of the game is Bend, Oregon, the location of the last Blockbuster. Jenna will keep her eyes peeled for it.

“I feel like zombie fiction just gave up on scary and just goes for stressful.” - Pat

My cat just showed up to cuddle with me and I just think that’s worth noting.

Someone from chat notes that they got a blueprint for a spike bat, because you can’t just hammer nails into a bat, need a plan for that

The in-game brother says to the main character that “That code of yours is gonna get you killed”, Jenna repeats that to Pat, is this a running joke/thing for them? (Pat nods in response)

Pat has started yawning

Jenna starts riding and says “Hogs up, boys” (timestamp 51:47, I recommend listening to it), Pat asks, while laughing, if that’s what bikers say when they start riding, Jenna says that that’s what this biker says and repeats it, Pat laughs more

Pat: “Hills are sort of nature’s bike ramps”

They’ve decided to close out the stream “just ridin’”

Oh Jenna’s STUNTIN, she drives into a tree, Pat: “you are immune to trees”

Except she just ran into some people and has to kill them

She’s just freed Charlie Day from a hostage situation

Apparently the studio that made this also made Bubsy 3D? I don’t know what that is. Pat verified that with a quick google.

Pat asked if she can drive the bike into water, it killed both the bike and the main character

Pat yawns again

Jenna took out some more humans and then stunted too hard

“Ooh my bike’s really smokin’ isn’t it?” - Jenna

“It’s vapin’. You got a vape bike now.” - Pat

Jenna says that biking is the best part of the game.

Jenna’s hog has run out of juice and they’ve just decided to end the stream there

The game will be out on the 26th, that is it.

Jenna, rotating the camera: “Here’s Deacon. He’s doing his best, but that involves a lot of murder.”

Lighting round: haven’t seen other outfits for Deacon, can do hog upgrades, can do new weapons, the bike has a decal and a bandana (it’s part of Jenna’s gang)

Final note: Jenna hasn’t seen any dogs in the game, but there are wolves. You cannot pet the wolves, more “die by their hands”.

They might stream this game again once it’s out of embargo, they’ll stream also when they have other games they want to show us.

Pat has got the lunch time sleepies and that’s why he’s yawning, he says that Deacon is a bastard and “hog up, boys”, and that’s the end of the stream.

#polygon #days gone #jenna stoeber #patrick gill #pat gill #twitch #sidenote: there's two of us admins who worked on this post and sadly only one of us has a cat #winky #sofia

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hitchell-mope · 5 years

Text

(Second film. At cotillion. Part three. After Mal’s been pulled into the water by huma)

Ben: where is she I can’t see her?

Carlos: how long can she hold her breath

Jay: I. I don’t know

Ben: not long.

Evie: what?

Ben: our first date. She thought I drowned. Went in after me and

Jay: you saved her. I remember. Now we gotta save her again.

Ben: I know to oh boy

(Just then the water bubbles furiously and Uma rises from the surface the lower half of her body octopoid and at least the same height as Ursula was during her final battle, perched on her should is Harry. And bound in a tentacle, barely conscious is...)

Ben: MAL!

Doug: Uma stop this now! You’re acting crazy!

Uma (voice booming): oh no dear. Spiteful vindictive

Harry (having the absolute best time of his life): INCREDIBLY LARGE!

Huma: but never crazy!

Uma: now on to business

(She drops Mal into the ocean and begins trying to capsize the boat)

Elsa: time to put that rusty old wand of yours to work headmistress. Children! Jay Evie Jane Ben. With me

Jane: what’re we doing

Elsa: we’re going to stop this boat from becoming the second titanic. On three. 1...2...3!!!!

(They’re eyes all glow and the boat steadies)

Evie: how the

Elsa: the beauty of a crisis. Now Ben. I assume you’re about to do something heroic and foolhardy

Ben: probably

Elsa: try and make sure that nobody gets hurt.

Ben: of course. I might have a plan. Doug is Agrabahn silk shrinkable

Evie (sternly) and Doug: yes

Ben: ah. Ok then how about this

(A flick of his wrist and he’s back in his vk outfit with a few small differences)

Evie: what happened to the jacket

Doug (tired dad mode): and the undershirt

Ben: they’d weigh me down. Jay could you hold this please?

(He hands Jay the crown)

Jay: sure but oh jeez (Ben’s jogging to the railing) wait wait wait

Ben: yes yes yes?

Jay: first of all stop that. Second of all. Here (he summons Maleficent’s sceptre our of thin air and hands it to Ben). Take this. It should help her

Ben: thank you so much woah head rush. Ahem woozy. Hm. All better now

Jay: yeah that’s because it recognises your magic but not you

Ben: I love being a hybrid

Adam: a WHAT?!?!?!

(Ben uses telekinesis to shove his father out of the way into the corridor)

Ben: blow it out your ass dad. Wish us luck. Imma coming honey!

(He launches himself over the side and into the water. Just barely missing Uma’s tentacles)

Doug: his magic will protect him right

Jay: possibly. If not. Hope you like the throne

Carlos (hitting his arm): not funny.

Jay: sorry

Doug: genies can breathe underwater right?

Jay: yes

Doug: Ben has five minutes. Then you’re going in after them

Jay (phoney British accent): as you command. My liege

(Under the water Ben’s swimming to Mal who’s sinking fast. He keeps dodging Uma’s tentacles. Finally he reaches Mal and put her mothers sceptre within arms reach. The moment it touches her hand her eyes open)

(Back on the ship)

Elsa: can anyone see them and Dizzy please stop throwing canapés at Uma

Dizzy (conspicuously giving Merida the food): it was Merida (innocent giggle)

Elsa: remember that I have a younger sister.

Doug: Hook seems to be having some sort of religious experience up there

Evie: yeah. He sorta reminds of someone

Devie (looking at each other in recognition): Troy McClure

(The waters bubbling again)

Jay: come on guys. Come on. Don’t let her win. Not like this

(Ben and Mal come shooting out of water. Mal’s now a dragon. Ben’s perched on her back laughing and shrieking his head off)

Ben (at the top of his lungs): WAAAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOO!!!! MY GIRLFRIEND’S A DRAGON!!!!

Devie: donkey from shrek

(Mal climbs further up into the sky. Ben slips. And falls off her).

Harry: He not gonna make is he?

(Ben plummets through the clouds but pulls up out of it just barely skimming the water)

Harry (fed up): of course he did

(Ben shoots up into the sky. His clothes melt away. From blue and gold to green. He lands on the railing still sopping wet. Now clad in green skelton leaf)

Ben (at the top of his lungs): COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!!!! (He strikes a power pose, fists on hips and turns to the others on the boat) that was amazing!

Jay (laughing): wow. You look

Carlos: like Pan.

Evie: HAHA! Harry’s in the drink. Again. (She cackles)

(Harry’s fainted dead away off Uma’s shoulder and crashed into the waves below)

Evie: lets boil him

Jay and Doug: no

Evie, Carlos and Dizzy: aww man

Ben: alrighty then. Anyway.

(He flies up to the girls and puts himself between them)

Ben: This isn’t the way. Both of you know that letting whatever happened years ago influence your actions today won’t solve anything. The best thing to do is to keep moving forward and

Uma: back off flyboy

(She swats Ben away and he gets knocked into a pole)

Uma: c’mon Mal let’s finish this once and for all

(Cecealia vs dragon fight begins)

Evie: and that only took twenty minutes to happen

Carlos: yeah. I woulda thought it’d happen the moment ma turned up not dead

Devie, Jay and Dizzy: yeah

Lonnie: we have to help him

Evie: right. Jay get a ladder. I’ll climb up

Lonnie: no. Not Ben. He’s fine. Look

(Ben’s currently trying to help Mal. Setting up shield after shield against Uma’s tentacles)

Lonnie: I meant the other one

Evie: no.

Jane: we should at least try. It’s the right thing to do

Doug: usually is be inclined to agree but you’ve not seen him in action

Carlos: I say we let it drown

Devie: ditto.

Jay: we’ve gotta fish it-him-out.

Carlos: why?

Jay: because if we wanna get Uma on side then the mollusk has to live. No matter how much he deserves to be lost to the depth

Carlos: I hate it when you’re right

Gil (Boyce quivering): please. Please don’t let him die. Please?

(Carlos looks at Gil stony faced. And relents)

Carlos: have it on record that I WILL stab him at the first opportunity. No matter how much the human golden retriever begs

Jay: so you’re not against Evie and I fishing him out

Carlos: against as in anti harry? Yes. Against you doing what’s gotta be done. Reluctantly no

Jay: love ya C

Carlos (giggling): you are now officially out of the doghouse.

Jay: Melody could you?

Melody (now in a lovely ice blue crystalline dress courtesy of Elsa): yes?

Jay: wow nice threads. Anyway. I have it on good authority that you carry around a certain family heirloom?

Melody: Ja

Jay: don’t know what that means. I’m not danish.

Melody: yes I’ve got my grandfathers trident. So I can help you however you want

Adam: miss Boisen I absolutely forbid you help them

Melody: I do not take orders from you Adam. Never have. Never will. Because I am not part of your staff. I am a student teacher. I am my sisters assistant until such time she graduates. But I am not your employee. So yeah. I’m helping my students. Jay. What do you need

Jay (massive grin on his face): we’re going squid fishing

Melody: where do I aim?

(She juts our her hand and the trident spears)

(At the buffet table)

Vision!Harry: sup losers

V!Ben: oh fuck off you no handed blunder

V!Harry: two hands. Numbnuts

V!Ben: keep talking. See what happens. I would love to dismantle you like a Lego Death Star and immolate your bones with you skin still on them

V!Harry: and the bitch says Uma means nothing to her

V!Ben: no. It’s the island Mal doesn’t care about. If Uma meant nothing to Mal. I’d still be jay.

V!Lonnie: ok I’m completely lost

V!Doug: we change when the closest person to our one changed. I used to be Evie. Tall ghostly pale and terrifying used to be Gil. And our “esteemed” leader. Used to be jay.

V!Carlos (smugly): I’ve always been like this

The other soul guides (sans Lonnie): yippee for you

(V!Carlos smiles indulgently)

(Back to the action at the railing)

Jay: so you’re sure you know how to do this without killing Uma?

Melody: oh my friend. With a fun and grin it works fine

Jay: what

Melody: yes. Yes I do know how to do this without hurting my second cousin

Jay: I’m sorry. Did you say second cousin?

Melody: yes. Ursula is my mother’s aunt. That makes Uma and my mother cousins. That makes her and I second cousins.

Jay: I am so sorry

Melody: why would you be sorry? So I’m related to a villain and her daughter. So is Ben. So are you and your little found family. Let’s help your friends.

(She throws the trident in Uma’s direction and it nicks the tentacle that was about to knock Ben out of the sky. Uma bellows in pain)

Uma: WHO DID THAT

Melody: hey! Hey you! Giant scary girl! Listen to. Ben. Or you know, me. Either one will do so

Jay (aside to her): not helping

Melody: yeah thought not

Jay: ok here’s what we’re going to do. Evie. Carlos. Fish the creature from the black lagoon out of the drink. I’m gonna help Ben.

(With that he flies up to where Ben is)

Jay: hey buddy. Need a little help?

Ben (still desperately dodging the tentacles): yes please

Jay: then grab a tentacle

Ben (scandalised): what?

Jay: you heard me. If we don’t do this then the student body will be a human interest story on the news tomorrow morning

Ben: ok

(They dive down and grab one of Uma’s tentacles. Below them in the water Harry’s screaming at them to let her go. Uma for her part does a good job of fighting them off. Mal just hovers there confused)

Jay: and lift

Ben: oh dear

(They fly upwards past Mal and drag Uma along for the ride. Harry grabs on to a tentacle and refuses to let go. But then he slips and lands painfully on the railing)

Carlos: finally. The Hook family line has ended

Harry: I HAVE TWO SISTERS

Carlos: who the fuck cares! Lonnie. Doug. Would you be dears and drags that on to the deck. I’ll get the carving knife

Doug: should we

Lonnie: quiet I don’t think we’re allowed to talk

(They deposit Harry in the deck and Carlos stands over him knife in hand)

Carlos: what do you want me to do Jay!

Jay: keep him there. And E! Keep those force fields up. Otherwise the first thirty rows WILL get wet

Evie: what are you gonna do?

Jay: this (to Ben) DROP HER

(The king and the genie let Uma fall into the water and the impart would’ve reflooded the deck if not for the shields. Unfortunately. This only serves to make Uma mad again. And she channels this anger by ensnaring Ben in her tentacles slowly choking the life out of the king. Jay’s had enough. His body assumes its golden lustre and he flies up into Uma’s face)

Jay: THAT. IS. ENOUGH. YOU KNOW THIS ISNT THE WAY. YOU KNOW THIS WILL ONLY SERVE TO FURTHET ALIENATE YOU. IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE YOU NEED TO STOP ACTING LIKE A PETULANT CHILD AND START PLAYING THE GAME RIGHT. OTHERWISE IT WILL BE JUST YOU AND THAT THING THAT IS SPEWING TWICE SWALLOWED SEA WATER ON EVIES MANOLOS LEFT ON THE ISLAND TO ROT

(On the deck Evie jumps out of Harry’s range)

Jay: SO WHAT IS IT GOING TO BE. A TANTRUM OR ARE YOU GOING TO USE THE BRAINS I KNOW YOU HAVE

(Uma’s face silently crumples. She (surprisingly gently) puts Ben back on deck, soaked to the bone and retching slightly from the choking but none the worse for wear, plucks up Harry and swiftly disappears beneath the waves leaving Ben’s ring behind)

Jay: well. That was surprisingly easily handled

(He flies down to the deck and hands Ben back his crown. Mal flaps back down, purple and green smoke surrounds her and she’s back in human form, except her hair’s undone, her dress is purple green and black and she’s holding the sceptre in her right hand. She smiles weakly at the crowd. The promptly spins around and vomits over the side. Loudly. For two full minutes. Jay rushes over to her)

Jay: hey you. Now. I got you a cap of mouth wash. And a breath mint. There you go. Now. (Loud whisper) a dragon. A giant fire breathing scaly ass mother fu

Mal (taking his face in her hands gently to shit him up): I know. I know.

Jay: how?

Mal: that I don’t know

Jay: oooh the sceptre.

Mal: that’s probably

Jay: now. The king awaits. Shall we?

Mal: we shall

(They walk down the stairs to where the series is. She and Ben smile at each other. Then he scoops get up and plants one on her. Carlos, not one to be outdone, scurries over to Jay, dips him and plants a longer one in him. Which gathers an even bigger cheer from the crowd. Especially Gil who can be heard over the others)

Doug: it’s about damn time.

Mal: hey jay. Stop by my room later. We gotta talk

Jay: well let’s see have you talked with Doug yet?

Doug: no. No she has not

Jay: you first then me. Capiche?

Mal: capiche

(On the chaperones platform Fairy Godmother is tight lipped)

Elsa: they’re teenagers headmistress. They will kiss.

Fairy Godmother: oh it’s not that your majesty. I can smell something unpleasant

Elsa (sniffing): you know what. I can too

Merida: it’s rotten skeleton leaves. What our dear little boy king is wearing.

Elsa: Oh. Queen Mother. Your turn

Belle: Ben?

(Ben doesn’t answer, he’s still looking at Mal in reverence, until Mal clears her throat and cocks her head to Belle’s location)

Mal: it seems that your clothes are rotting away dear.

Ben: is everything

Mal: oh yeah. But your shoulders are exposed

Ben: right. Ummmm. Wait right here

(He teleports to his mothers side. When the smoke clears he’s back in his vk outfit. Still without the beanie jacket or undershirt)

Ben: better?

Mal: ooooh so much better

Belle: the tuxedo was so much more

Evie: don’t worry Belle. The silk used is shrinkable. So this is preferable.

Belle: ah. Ok. Now Ben. I and the others adults are going to the yachts bar. Lumiere is going to be here as damage control. But you are in charge. Understand?

(Ben nods emphatically. The four women turn to go but Mal catches up with them before they leave)

Mal: Fairy Godmother. Do you think I could get my spell book back from the museum? Tomorrow I mean. Only that the last few days did a number on me and made me realise I can’t not use what I have. It’s not healthy and it’s not right. Is any of this making any sense to you at all?

Fairy Godmother: of course dear. It’s your property after all. Just say the word and it’s yours

Mal: please?

Fairy Godmother: where would you like it to be?

Mal: Jay’s room. Bedside cabinet. With a protection spell on it so only Ben and I can use it. Because. I have helluva lot to teach him

Ben: I very much look forward to learning from you

Mal: and. I’m sure Ben would agree. Magic classes. For those that want them. I know I would. No. I know that I need to learn more control WOAH!

(Ben’s scooped her up in a bear hug)

Mal: I take it you like that idea

Doug: when you were >ahem< out for the count Ben decided that it was time that magic be fully reinstated

Mal: I LOVE THIS BOY

Belle: I can see that the kingdom will be in very safe hands with you two and you are on his back

(Mal’s clambered onto Ben’s back and she’s stroking his hair away from his face)

Elsa: Queen Mother. I believe this is our exit cue

Merida: aw but I wanna dance

Elsa: the bar has Guinness whiskey

Merida: PEACE FECKERS

(She runs off)

Belle: that was easily handled

(As they’re leaving)

Belle: Verna could you get me the family lawyer please

Verna: of course ma’am. Uhhhh. Heh heh. What for?

Belle: I need to see mr Hartcourt about divorcing Adam and adopting that young man

Elsa: Gil? You want to adopt Gil?

Belle: yes. Problem?

Elsa: none whatsoever. In fact I’ve got an idea I’d like to run through with Ben. When the cotillion is over tomorrow of course

Belle: I assure you your majesty you shall have the full unwavering support of my son and I

Elsa: god save the king and his mother then

Belle: indeed

(Back at the cotillion)

Carlos: alright. ALRIGHT! Everyone. The ones of the hour. My parents! King Ben. Lady Mal. Take it away old man

Ben (laughing): I’m only two years older than you C

Carlos (a “I’m cute so I can get away with it” look on his face): still older

Mal (chuckles as she tilts Ben’s crown): I think what Carlos is trying to is: let’s party

(She uses magic to levitate the electronic equipment above the deck and they all start dancing)

(This is when “it’s time” happens)

#disney descendants #zendaya!mal

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nemetonisevilpassiton · 5 years

Text

Where we’re going we won’t need Eyes to see - a teen wolf meta

With Teen Wolf meta we have this tendency to name check Event Horizon (1997) and run off without explaining it - especially in regards to the episode “Ghosted” where they were in Canaan which uses a lot of the same techniques and tropes. But before I explain how Teen Wolf got there we have to explain Event Horizon.

A friend of mine once called Event Horizon the greatest horror movie almost made, and that sums it up nicely.

Following the success of Mortal Kombat [1995 starring Linden Ashby] the studio gave give the director Paul WS Anderson [the Resident Evil guy] a budget of 60 million dollars, the large soundstage at Pinewood and Carte Blanche to deliver an R rated horror. The film he delivered was 121 minutes long and X-rated. It was externally editted down to 91 minutes or 96 minutes depending on region and legend has it that most of the narrative exposition went out of the airlock. As gory as it is - and it IS - it was much much worse and it’s entirely possible that this studio inflicted hatchet job is the reason Event Horizon has the cult following that it does.

Anderson did not waste a dollar of the money he was given, everyone in the film is a noted character actor and most of the dialogue makes them feel real [with the exception of one distinct line which is just hilariously bad]. The ship was a set [there is minimal cg and it’s bad as you’d expect for 1997 but it’s things like a floating water bottle] based on actual gothic architecture specifically notre dame. The crew of the Lewis and Clark [the rescue ship] is seven people because they were meant to represent the seven sins - maybe in the longer version they did. The “stranger” in their midst is Doctor Weir, who following the suicide of his wife whilst he built the Event Horizon, became obsessed with the ship is the one who wants to bring it “home”. The shot of the rotating space station where Weir is based was a miniature. As most of the effects were practical, as opposed to CG, they stand up to modern scrutiny.

The film was a critical and commercial bust, but over the years since it’s release it’s been insanely influential on the field of Sci Fi being responsible for IPs such as Warhammer 40k, Deadspace and even the Alien franchise [which Anderson dipped his toe in with Alien vs Predator] and is considered one of the greatest Lovecraftian horrors ever made.

Event Horizon is not a great movie, it’s…. I’m one of the people who adore it, as scary movies go it never fails to make my skin crawl but let’s get into the plot.

The Event Horizon was an attempt at FTL travel, instead of going really fast it punched a hole through the universe creating a worm hole that would allow the ship to exit somewhere else with a device called “the gravity drive”. On its test flight it vanished. Seven years later it reappears where it should have with no crew and only a mild distress signal. Weir (Sam Neill), the original creator takes the crew of the Lewis and Clark, a rescue ship captained by Miller (Lawrence Fishburne), to bring it back.

On finding the ship the youngest member of the crew, Mr Justin (Jack Noseworthy), goes into the drive room in full EVA and is dragged into the black liquid at its heart. He is rescued by Cooper (Richard Jones), but when they confront Weir he denies it’s possible despite that they could not have known what to describe. Justin is comatose. They find a recording of screams which has a latin phrase which DJ (Jason Isaacs) translates as save me. The med tech Peters (Kathleen Quinlan) starts to see visions of her son covered in sores. Weir starts to see his dead wife as she was when he found her but with empty eye sockets. The ship starts to pull at their sanity damaging the Lewis and Clark, Smith (Sean Pertwee) refuses to leave the Lewis and Clark and in the middle of that Justin gets up and puts himself in the airlock, setting it to open.

All of the characters are shown to have a dark history but because of the editting we often don’t know what that is. We know Peters has left her terminally ill son because of her visions. Miller tells us about a crew member he had to leave to die in a burning ship. Weir has his guilt over his wife, but the rest was cut.

They find the ruins of the old crew with a tape showing them dismembering themselves and each other and it turns out the translation wasn’t save me but save yourself from hell. Fans have actually translated it more accurately as save yourself from the fire.

Miller comes to the conclusion the best thing to do is go home and blow the ship from orbit but Weir refuses to go. He takes one of the explosives from the nave hallway and blows up the Lewis and Clark and Smith, this sends Cooper into space [where he has the worst line in cinema, seriously https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUozFOlxVnM] and Miller and Starck [Joely Richardson] confront Weir on the bridge where he has ripped out his own eyes. DJ is found disembowelled over the medicine table. Distracted by Cooper’s return Weir fires a rivet gun at the ship’s window causing the decompression to suck him into space. Miller tries to use the explosives along the nave corridor to separate the ship from the gravity drive which he considers the source of his evil but he is separated from his crew by a burning man who turns into Weir. They fight, the corridor explodes and Miller is sucked into the black hole.

There is a gotcha ending where Starck sees one of their rescuers as Weir but wakes up screaming before the very ominous door closing.

So what happens? what is the one sentence synopsis?

See that’s where Event Horizon sort of wins. On its surface the ship went to hell and became alive and is now luring people in and trying to drag them into Hell. Except even within the movie that explanation doesn’t make sense. The characters talk about the lack of good air, that they are running out of air and it turns them on each other to an extent so did anoxia cause the hallucinations combined with the very gothic imagery to create a mass hysteria? Is it a pseudo Catholic vision of Hell where the characters unable to deal with their own guilt at ultimately tortured? Maybe? Was it all of the above? I don’t know. Other people have amazing explanations of what happened and here’s the reason why Event Horizon freaks some people out and others are meh, it’s not that easy.

It has holes and contradictions and huge chunks obviously missing. It has a narrow focus and it never lies to the audience, it misleads them by assumption but it’s consistent. Weir is the hook character we expect to be the hero, he is the outsider amidst the crew of the Lewis and Clark, he is the one with the answers and the refusal to see alternative answers. He has the most fleshed out back story but he turns into the human manifestation of whatever is going on with the ship yet he is the one who becomes the face of the villain. The ghost apparitions are genuinely disturbing. The quality of the acting could carry a much weaker script. The effects are excellent and the gore is astounding, and best shown briefly [although production stills are available if it was too quick for you]. The Lovecraftian questions are presented and NOT answered. They are isolated in a place where they are in constant danger and the hallucinations mean even their thoughts are unsafe.

Did the ship go to hell? Or was it an explanation Weir made up when he broke? Or is this a purgatorial nightmare where Weir is sent out to fetch more victims for the ship? Is he repeating this ad infinitum with this crew or is it a new crew every time? Is the she Weir speaks of the ship or the manifestation of his wife, Clare?

The film doesn’t answer any of these questions. They are all valid ways to see the movie. And based on Anderson’s filmography the reason that these all DO work is because the film was butchered like one of the ship’s crew.

Recently they found a copy of the uncut film in a salt mine in Transylvania so maybe we’ll see it.

But people who take it on surface value that the ship went to hell and is now evil wooo, generally just dismiss it as poor. It is clearly a mishmash of things Anderson thought was cool instead of deep, sets are so Alien inspired that the xenomorph could pop out of any of the lockers and no one would be surprised. The ship’s set is so gothic Dracula could be drinking tea in the med bay and it would make perfect sense. Yet it somehow, probably despite itself, works.

So back to Teen Wolf.

Event Horizon clearly had its shadows over the production and it’s in the ambiguity more than the cinematography [which owes its debts to Silent Hill]. What Event Horizon managed by accident [Anderson couldn’t have pulled it off deliberately] Teen Wolf tries.

Every character in Teen Wolf, no matter how minor, has a backstory but it is not one we are necessarily given. They have their own stories which intersect with the story we are being told. If we look at the chimera, for example, we saw Tracy’s complicated relationship with her father, we saw Lucas and his boyfriend, Corey, and Corey before we knew he was a chimera told us about Lucas. Caitlyn’s girlfriend Emily was taken by the Darach but she was nervous about her first time having sex so Caitlyn tried to make it special for her. This makes the characterisation rich and this one of the complaints about the show. We learn as much about someone who gets murdered five minutes later as we do about the show’s mains. Beacon Hills feels real because the people in it feel real.

Teen Wolf offers a surface answer which does not hold up to scrutiny - at all -ever and which is often ridiculous. @Sublimeglass refers to this as the show vs tell, Teen Wolf tells us one story and shows us quite another. Solutions to problems are often best guesses with the information that they have and are often contradicted seasons later as characters learn more.

The main character is presumed to be the hero but by the end is very clearly the agent of whatever it is that is going on that wants conflict - however defining that very clear presence in Teen Wolf is like getting rid of glitter, you know it’s there but you’re never going to get it out of the carpet.There is clearly an evil presence, and it is clearly in the water, specifically the lake beside Lydia’s lake house [which Lorraine set up a mountain ash barrier to protect her from] but the character’s don’t know it’s there. I am not saying that Scott is evil or villainous in this - that’s a very different meta - but instead that he is continuing the war that existed before him. He is recruiting a character like him to carry on the story. He is repeating the cycle like Weir sacrificing another crew to the ship.

One of the arguments with EH is that the ship is freeing them from “the fire” which is light and energy, which is complicated, basically that our universe with its physical reactions is Hell, and that by removing the flesh [I did mention Hellraiser was a huge influence, right, and the video game Doom 3] you could be “free”, and there is a similar idea in Teen Wolf where characters try to escape the detriments of flesh - Gerard looking for a cure for his cancer, the dread doctors extending their life, the attempts to build a better beast for their own immortality, the leonmensch trying to capture the Wild Hunt.

Yet if you reduce Event Horizon to “the ship went to hell and is now evil” the two do not match but both are phantasmagorical.

Phantasmagoria is where one or more reality might not be real but is instead a dream/hallucination that is indistinguishable from reality, and thus brings the “reality” in question.

In Event Horizon this is several dream sequences, Weir and Starck both have nightmares whilst in stasis. This means when Clare starts appearing to Weir and the child appears to Peters we are primed to know they are not real and this knowledge means we’re primed for a scare even when the subject is not scary, such as Peter’s visions of her sick son.

In Teen Wolf we have several sequences that are not “real”: Scott’s visions of the school bus attack; Stiles’ visions of the bandaged figure; Scott’s dreams of killing Liam with the mute. Then we have sequences where reality is much more loosely defined in Motel California - where the characters hallucinate - and Ghosted which is the most obvious point for the Event Horizon characters.

We also have flashbacks which are subject to the “Rashomon effect” where several variations of the same narrative are shown and the whole is unreliable [the Fox and the Wolf, Blitzkreig and Visionary] What we are shown in Teen Wolf is only slightly more reliable than what we are told, and the telling is from Scott’s point of view - although it is unclear if it is only the last episode, the last season half or the whole show which is narrated. Personally I think it’s the whole. Either way Scott is an unreliable narrator. We cannot trust the narrative as it is presented even if it didn’t openly contradict itself.

The Lovecraftian parallels have to be mentioned even if when it comes to writing Teen Wolf meta I find him popping up like a particularly obnoxious infestation. Combined with that is the heavy influence of Hellraiser [3 metas later I am quite confident that Hellraiser was involved] and the whole is unsettling if not disturbing or scary.

The visual language of Event Horizon is medieval gothic, with columns, long empty corridors, flourishes and twists and the ship itself is a cross based on Notre Dame. In Teen Wolf colours have meaning, characters have symbolic associations [although unlike the intent for Event Horizon they do not represent anything as overt as the seven sins. They reveal the characters but not general themes.] Each of the first five seasons has a symbol which is represented by Godai, Fire, Water, Earth, Air, Void [if six has one I haven’t cracked it yet but it is probably the ethereal or the other] and the cinematography is certainly as deliberate.

I can’t just end this meta because it’s one of those as soon as you see the movie you can see the parallels because they’re pretty much laid out on a plate but the two are so different that unless you sit down and think about it you’d never consider it.

I can’t say that Beacon Hills is a phantasmagorical town that exists outside space and is poisoned by its proximity to Hell - but I can’t say it’s not either because of the ambiguity and contradiction. I can’t say Weir is a victim driven mad by his own guilt or the ship possessed him because of the same contradictions.

Event Horizon managed what it did despite itself. Teen Wolf might have done the same.

#teen wolf meta #anti scott mccall #event horizon parallels

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mezzopurrloin · 5 years

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Mezzo Plays Final Fantasy X: Part 3

Surprisingly, Tidus isn't dead.

He's just washed up on the coast of some island. He's hit in the back of the head with a blitzball, and spies some people on the beach waving to him.

He decides to do a midair flip kick to send it back, impressing their leader.

Then he swims to shore and introduces himself, first saying he's from Zanarkand, then after that confuses everyone, telling people he was infected by Sin's toxin.

His name is (probably) not a Pac-Man reference. Tidus asks if it's true Zanarkand was destroyed a thousand years ago, and Wakka dispenses some exposition.

"It was just as Rikku had said. Wakka and Rikku couldn't both be lying. Why would they? I appreciated the fact that Wakka was trying to cheer me up. But at that time, all I could think about was... everything that happened to me -- all of this -- started with Sin. Maybe if I could find Sin one more time, I could go home! For now, I'd just live life until that time came. No more worrying about where, or when, I was. Sure it was hard not to think of home. But I started to feel better already. A little better...maybe."

Wakka decides to escort Tidus back to his village.

Of course, they end up meeting some fiends along the way. Wakka fights using his blitzball as a weapon, which seems a bit odd, but it makes for a good throwing weapon apparently.

He also tells Tidus about a big blitzball tournament coming up. Wakka says that maybe someone there will recognize Tidus if he plays, and Tidus agrees to help out.

Here we get a nice view of Besaid Village. Wakka joined the Aurochs 10 years ago, but the team hasn't won a single game since then. He's about to give up on the blitz, but wants this last tournament to be his best yet. Tidus agrees and hopes to steer the Aurochs toward victory.

Just before entering the village proper, Wakka asks Tidus about the prayer, which of course just makes Tidus more confused.

You just put your hands in this position while saying "Praise be to Yevon."

"Any blitzball player would know that prayer. It was the blitzball sign for victory."

Time to loot some stuff! This house was wrecked by Sin and the owner never bothered rebuilding it, so it's not like they have any use for these things anyway.

There's also a little lodge here belonging to a group called the Crusaders. They're sworn to battle Sin, but no one's ever been able to truly defeat it, so their duties mainly involve keeping it away from populated areas.

One thing I forgot to mention about save points is that they also provide a full HP/MP recharge. This makes them a convenient replacement for the inns of other RPGs, though you're free to rest at the Crusaders' lodge if you want.

Once that's done, Tidus heads into the temple. It's the biggest building in the village, and faces away from the ocean, as that's where Sin comes from.

Inside the temple plays the Hymn of the Fayth, another plot-important song. No, 'fayth' is not a typo.

"It was then, standing in that place. I began to realize how different this world was from my own."

Tidus talks to one of the temple attendants, and after using the toxin excuse again, gets some more exposition.

"It was funny hearing myself make the same excuse over and over. Funny, and a little sad."

"So what he meant...was that we should respect some kinda great men or something like that...I figured."

Tidus goes back to Wakka's place for a quick nap.

Which leads us to another flashback sequence. Young Tidus is happy to see Jecht gone from his life.

His mom isn't quite that sympathetic to him.

After he wakes up, Wakka is gone. Tidus heads back to the temple to find out what's going on.

It seems that the summoner is in trouble, and Tidus immediately runs into the temple depths to help.

Monk: "The precepts must be obeyed!"

Tidus: "Like I care!"

This takes him to the Cloister of Trials, a puzzle that must be overcome before reaching the chamber of the fayth. This one's pretty simple and teaches you the basics of these rooms.

The puzzles are based around spheres. Glyph Spheres open the way to the chamber, Destruction Spheres destroy things to uncover hidden treasures, and each temple also has its own type of sphere. Only one sphere can be held at a time and you can stick them into sphere-shaped slots to activate things.

In this case, there's a Besaid Sphere powering this lovely Tron lines complex.

If we replace it with a Destruction Sphere...

It blows up a wall to reveal a hidden chest. Inside is a Rod of Wisdom, which we can't use yet. It's important to get every Destruction Sphere treasure we can, as there's a late-game reward for obtaining them all. And generally, it's important to grab everything we can the first time, since backtracking isn't really a thing for 90% of the game.

Anyway, after completing the Cloister of Trials, Wakka meets up with Tidus again, and he explains that only summoners, apprentice summoners, and their guardians can enter. Wakka is free to enter because he's a guardian. Summoners go on a pilgrimage to every temple in Spira, and the guardians protect them.

We meet some more guardians outside the chamber. And then the door opens, revealing...

"Man, was I surprised. And here I was, thinking summoners were all old geezers."

The group heads out to the town square, and the summoner decides to show her prowess.

"I had never seen anything like it in my life. Sure, it was a little scary, but still... I could feel a strange kind of gentleness from it."

You get to pick a name for the aeon too. Her canon name is Valefor, but I went with Yvonne on a suggestion from Umbra.

The celebration continues into the night, and Tidus and the summoner finally get to meet face-to-face.

Yuna forgives Tidus for barging in, as she feels it was her fault for taking so long.

"I remember... That night, we talked for the first time. I didn't know it then, but after that night, everything changed. For everyone... For me..."

If you haven't already figured it out, yes, Yuna is the main love interest. After talking to her, Tidus heads to the Crusaders' lodge to sleep.

It's only been one day and you're already having dreams about her?

Yeah, yeah, Rikku's cute too.

Jecht, stop being such an asshole. This is why your son hates you.

Tidus awakens and sees Wakka and the girl in black, Lulu, talking.

You know how they say Final Fantasy characters are obsessed with belts? Yeah, here's a prime example. Apparently they made Lulu's dress entirely out of belts as a challenge to the animators.

The camera moves up so we can get a nice head shot of her too.

Wakka gives some context on the conversation after coming inside. His brother Chappu joined the Crusaders, and was killed by Sin. Wakka learned the news on the day of the last blitzball tournament, which understandably threw his game off.

In the morning, Wakka presents a gift to Tidus.

This sword is called Brotherhood, and is quite fancy. It was originally meant to be a gift for Chappu, but he never used it. Tidus leaves the village with Yuna's group, as they're going on the same ship.

Well, not quite yet. There's one more thing to grab first. See my comment above about how it's really important to pick stuff up the first time around.

No, I don't get it either.

Once that's done, the group stops to pray at the monument above town. Chappu didn't pray at it the day he left. While making their way back to the coast, we get some more random encounters.

Flying fiends are Wakka's speciaility. They have a big evasion bonus vs. melee, but Wakka's ball can hit them with no problems.

This slime monster looks dangerous, though. Its amorphous body gives it strong resistance to physical attacks.

Time to call in our black mage. Lulu uses these adorable little plushies as weapons and as focuses for her magic. Many are references to other Final Fantasy creatures, like the moogle up there. She also takes the time to explain this game's element system. Fire and ice oppose each other, as do lightning and water. This blob is water based, so...

Zap! Problem solved.

Tidus runs a bit ahead of everyone else when we reach the next area...

And runs into this furry guy, who we saw at the temple earlier. He doesn't take kindly to Tidus and attacks. The two trade blows for a bit, until everyone else comes in and puts a stop to it.

He's another one of Yuna's guardians. He doesn't talk much, and can't be used as a party member yet, but he will be later.

I know this post is already overloaded with screenshots but really, check out the view here.

Anyway, upon encountering a large flying fiend, Wakka decides that rather than handling it himself, he lets Yuna try out her summoning. You can swap party members in and out at any time during a battle.

Time to see what our aeon can do. By using the Summon command, Yuna calls Yvonne to the field. All other party members disappear while the aeon is summoned.

Yvonne can use standard attacks, cast black magic much like Lulu, and has the Sonic Wings special which deals damage and delays the opponent's turn.

Much like players, aeons have their own Overdrive bar too. That's what picking up the thing from the dog was all about. In this case though, I decided that her first Overdrive, Energy Ray, was enough for this fight.

She charges up a laser in her mouth, then fires it at the ground.

Then, explosions. Perfect for taking out any irritating fiends.

One last encounter to show here. In this case each character is up against the type of fiend they're specialized against. You want to have Tidus hit the wolf thing, Wakka go for the flyer, and Lulu cast Thunder on the blob, and they're finished off easily.

All of our other party members have their own places on the Sphere Grid, and they gain S.Lvls and spheres the same way Tidus does. Tidus learned a new ability too: Flee, which guarantees escape from any non-boss fight. Some say that fleeing from battles is cowardly, but it's still handy to use in a pinch.

Oh, by the way, that Rod of Wisdom we found? It's a weapon for Yuna. It gives a good magic boost and the Sensor ability, allowing her to show enemy HP and traits. When not using aeons, Yuna acts as our white mage, giving out heals and buffs when needed.

One last thing to grab as we hit the beach. This is a component for a postgame weapon for Yuna. I don't know if I'll get into the postgame for this LP, but it's good to have anyway.

Yuna and her crew board the ship. Yuna waves goodbye to the villagers as they set off.

#mezzo's screenshot lps #final fantasy x

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neverwatchedonepiece · 6 years

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531-533: "The Ryugu Palace! Taken by the Shark that they Saved!", "A Coward and a Crybaby! The Princess in the Hard Shell Tower!" and "It's an Emergency! The Ryugu Palace is Occupied!"

Pappagu’s gonna stroke out with stress. Yup. Any minute now.

Loved these episodes! The humour that took an exit stage left during Marineford (for obvious reasons) is back. Most of the humor was comedy of errors type stuff. We had Luffy accidentally bouncing on some giant mermaid tiddies. Luffy being unwittingly rude and poor Pappagu nearly having a stress embolism (look at those veins!) There was Zoro getting drunk and waking up in a jail cell. Brook, Usopp, Nami and Zoro accidentally occupying the entire palace and taking a bunch of important hostages... xD

There were some short updates on other characters too. Some have already had an impact on the plot. Caribou has kidnapped some Mermaids with intent to sell them at the Sabaody slave market. Without knowing it, he has exacted perfect revenge on the Strawhats! But how will you leave Fishman Island, Caribou. You don’t have a ship, you absolute roaster.

Others I’m guessing Oda is keeping up his sleeve for later. Robin, Franky, Sanji and Chopper are still at large. Robin is wandering the island in search of important evidence of missing history. Franky, bless his mechanical heart, is off looking for Tom-san’s family. Chopper is done treating Sanji. He has a new point: Kung Fu Point. Nice to see that Chopper has some more offensive abilities that don’t completely strip him of his intelligence. :)

That’s Some Nice Real Estate, Neptune. Would Be A Shame If Someone Occupied It.

You know what? I like Neptune. His advisors might browbeat him, but at least he’s the type of ruler who will listen to advice, even if he doesn’t take it. He has his own mind and will follow his inner sense of justice, though it might conflict with what his advisors tell him.

Luffy on the Fish Boat back to Ryugu Palace was hilarious, though. Neptune kept doing a Jason Derulo: saying his own damned name all the time in the little songs he sang to himself and Luffy was like, “Mate, your chant is dumb.” (I mean, Luffy, you’re not wrong but maybe not to the king’s face next time?) Either Neptune is chilled enough to ignore it, or he didn’t hear, Pappagu did, though, and was on hand to give Luffy a five-armed starfish spanking.

Neptune cares about his family too. The princess’ happiness is important and as she can’t get out the house much (more on that later) rescuing Megalo was a Big Deal. “Didn’t mean to save you, but I’m glad you’re okay!”

Too honest, Luffy! xD

Then Neptune told the Strawhats that one of their crewmates was already there. I knew instantly it was Zoro. Only Zoro could be that hopelessly lost that he’d accidentally infiltrate a palace with only one heavily guarded entrance and a buzzer system.

There was also a handy bit of world-building. Neptune handed Luffy a device that looked suspiciously like a pink dildo with multipurpose attachments. It was called Bubbly Coral and enables the user to form their own oxygen bubbles whenever, wherever. Useful.

They zoomed through the entrance flume and emerged into a beautiful place full of light, grand buildings, colour and dragon statues. Dat real estate.

As soon as Neptune stepped through the door, his Minister of the Right advisor (seahorse guy) got laid into him. “WTF, my lord?? You went out again on your own? You know the situation in this country??” Neptune is like Princess Jasmine All he needs is a cute Sea Tiger pet and he’s sorted. Either that, or Neptune is confident enough in his strength to face whatever’s out there.

The Minister of the Left (catfish guy) took one look at the company Neptune had brought back and was like, “Um.... my lord, there’s something you should know about those Strawhat Pirates.” They spilled the current intel: Memaids had been kidnapped, which is something human pirates are known to do, and Madame Sharley had predicted Luffy would destroy Fishman Island. Unconscious Zoro had already been taken into custody. The rest of the Strawhats were under arrest!

(I’m having doubts about this Madame Sharley, by the way. I wonder if she’s working with Hordy Jones, or is being forced to work with him? Zero basis for this prediction. Only that the timing of the prediction is pretty damned convenient...)

Then Everyone Fell Out

Suddenly, the Strawhats were surrounded by guards. I say the Strawhats. I mean Usopp, Nami and Brook because Luffy had gone AWOL (more on that later). The Mermen made a sensible, tactical decision to burst the Strawhats’ bubbles and force them to fight in the water. But they made the mistake of showing Nami how to operate the Bubbly Coral. She used a giant one to drain the room of water. (Good job, Nami. Quick thinking as usual!) Brook had a badass moment. That’s why I like him. He can go from his goofy, kind, fun-loving self to scary swordsman with a snap of his bony fingers.

Usopp was ready to throw down, which was a nice surprise. I was so hyped to see what his new weapon can do, but was blue-balled. Ah, well. Next time! :D

Oh, and Zoro let himself out of jail. xD

Or Zori, as Neptune kept calling him. Another trait to add to Neptune being a stand up guy was that he volunteered to fight Zori because he didn’t want anyone else getting hurt. A good king!

The next thing, Zoro had plowed through everyone and Usopp was freaking out about overkill! “FFS, Zoro! We were just going to intimidate them and run!”

Zoro thought, “Yes. Run. Let’s bail.”

Usopp said, “A great plan, but we don’t know where Sunny is. Plus, the coating came off when we crashed through the bubble.”

Nami also added that the Log Pose had been unstable ever since they arrived (what does that mean?)

Then a nearby DDM rang.

Accidental Criminals

This whole scene was hilarious. Honestly, I came into this arc expecting lots of heavy stuff about Fishman vs humans racism and I’m getting accidental criminal activity and comedy hostage-takings. It’s awesome.

Zoro picked up the DDM and Usopp freaked out. “Don’t pick it you, you dumbass!” It was Fukaboshi, the eldest Merprince. He asked Zoro to open the gate.

“Yeah, no can do. But I’ll tell you what you can do...”

For Zoro had spied an Opportunity. (For all everyone calls Zoro a dumbass, he can be really clever sometimes).

“We have your father and the palace hostage. We need a new coating for the Sunny. And we need the rest of our crew: a gloomy woman, a robot, a raccoon, and a dirty water imp.”

“HAHAHAH, a dirty water imp. Classic!” Brook chortled.

“Oh, and a million Berry in cash, please, Zoro,” Nami added.

The Strawhats really have taken a level in grey morality, it’s hilarious. Their reactions to Zoro’s Big Idea were even more than I’d have expected from them two years ago (except Nami. She’s always had half an eye on treasure). And they are clearly confident they can escape from Fishman Island in one piece.

Fukaboshi agreed because he had no choice. It seems he’s a stand up kinda guy too, because he delivered a message from Jimbei to Luffy (this caused a stir in the palace. Jimbei is even more godly down there than on the surface).

The message was: “Do not fight against Hordy. I will meet you at the Sea Forest.”

Do not fight against Hordy? Really? There’s history between them, right? Jimbei and Hordy, I mean. They were both Sun Pirates. Or is that Arlong and Jimbei? Yeah, I think it’s Arlong and Jimbei. But maybe Hordy was also on that crew?

Something is up here...

But I never found out what because some Big Booms happened off-panel in the direction of the Princess’ room.

Which happened to be where Luffy was, of course.

Princess Peach

So Luffy, who only came to the palace for food, got fed up within 0.5 seconds of arriving and wandered off. He came across a pair of massive, solid-looking doors. A pair of axes were embedded in them. Must admit my first thought was, “Oh cool, the princess is an angry, fighting type!”

Nope. Completely wrong.

Luffy sneaked inside because he could smell food. One thing led to another and he ended up bouncing on the giant Mermaid Princess’ giant tiddies. (If Sanji ever finds out, he will never speak to Luffy again.)

Of course, she woke up and was like, “Why is there a tiny human bouncing on my tiddies? I did not consent to this.” And she shrieked and cried, as you would if some hungry, little random was bouncing on you. I love how Luffy could not deal with her giant tears. It’s one of his rare weaknesses. Like, what, why are you crying, stop, plz, I did nothing to you.

Turns out the Princess is not a fighting type. She is actually a terrified, sweet girl who has been locked in a Hard Shell Tower for ten years because Captain Bloody Vander Decken is an annoying fucking sex-pest who will not take no for an answer!

The action briefly cut to him ranting away about how he was convinced Neptune wanted to force her into a political marriage because she was really in love with Decken. That he could not allow her to be with anyone else and he would rather see her dead than with anyone else.��“Your life is either death or marriage. I will present her this lovely boomerang axe with a rose on it.” You know, because if you’re going to be decapitated, I guess it’s nice to know it’s done with love and good intentions, right? Absolutely insane. This guy is Major Incel Material.

Of course, Decken’s latest “gift” whirled into the room and Luffy stopped it. He was like, “WTF, where did this come from?”

The Guards burst in and the Princess saved Luffy’s ass by hiding him. Of course, Luffy overheard what had happened to the others. He wasn’t bothered. “Meh, that’s fine. Your lot won’t be able to control them, anyway.” Just goes to show how much faith Luffy has in his crew’s strength after those two years.

To repay Luffy, the Princess said he could eat her giant food. While he ate, she asked him questions. The most interesting was this one:

“You’re a pirate,” she said. “Does that mean you’re a bad person?”

Luffy thought about this, then answered, “Hmm... I dunno. You decide.”

(Just another incident to add to my growing: Luffy’s Grey Morality Evidence Pile.)

The Princess told Luffy Decken has a DF power called Mark Mark. It sounds pretty useful, actually, (which is bad for her). If he designates someone as his mark, he can throw a weapon and hit them every time, unless an obstacle is in the way. That’s why she’d been locked in the Tower for ten years.

Luffy was confused, as you would be if someone told you that. “He wants to marry you but wants to kill you? WTF?” and said, “Ten years? You must be bored. I’d get sick if someone locked me up for ten years.”

Then he yelled at her because she poked his cheeks while he was eating (tbh, that would make me mad too. Just because he’s little does not mean Luffy is a pet!) But she’s just a lonely girl with minimal social skills because she’s been locked up for so long and she could not handle Luffy yelling at her.

Luffy being Luffy, was honest to the point of being Super Harsh. “You might be big, but you’re a coward and a crybaby. I don’t like you! You’ve stayed hear for ten years, eh? That could make you sick. Isn’t there anywhere you wanna go? Come on, let’s go for a walk!”

Luffy gave her the Unblinking Luffy Stare.

There is no returning from that.

Once he puts an idea in someone’s head and gives them That Look, they are done for.

The whole meeting the Princess scenes reminded me of the Big Baby from Spirited Away. The one who wouldn’t go outside because Yubaba had told him all about germs and he was afraid but was still fascinated by Chihiro because he was lonely and wanted her to play. Except this situation is more complicated because Neptune is a Good Dad and only wants to protect his daughter from a pest who he is trying to arrest but cannot find. It’s for her safety. Just as well Luffy is there with a cunning plan to get her out for a walk, eh?

Nah, Luffy. Absolutely no one will realise there’s something up here... xD

Sex-Pest Shakes Hands With Roid Peddler

Meanwhile, the shady villains have teamed up! I don’t think that’s happened in One Piece yet. It’s an alliance of convenience based on a common enemy. They both hate Neptune for different reasons. Hordy’s is political. Decken’s? Because he’s a sex-pest.

Prediction? I bet Hordy will betray Decken. Evidence? None. Just wishful thinking. I want to see Decken get his pathetic ass kicked.

“And I would like to add a side order of salt and chili fries to our ransom demands.”

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