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arvandus · 9 months

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Touch Chapter 16 - A Night Out

Pairing: Dabi x Fem!AFAB!Reader

**18+ ONLY - MINORS DNI**

OVERALL FIC WARNINGS: Soft!Dabi, Fem!AFAB!Reader with a fictional backstory, fanon version of past events (I started this before the canon stuff dropped), manga spoilers, canon deviation, drug abuse/withdrawal (with inaccuracies since it’s outside of my experience and relies on research and imagination), violence, heavy angst, past trauma/abuse, anxiety/panic attacks, PTSD, hurt/comfort, pining, slow burn, eventual emotionally charged SMUT, all characters will be written with complexity (i.e., no one-dimensional/hateful representations). *please pay attention to specific warning tags within each chapter!*

CHAPTER WARNINGS: Drinking. Lots of drinking (both Dabi and reader). Overall drug themes apply; bar scene/club scene (look, we get to have some FUN in the chapter, OK?? We deserve it!)

Chapter Songs: I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys/All I Need by Radiohead

Part 1 Part 15

Chapter 16: A Night Out

You were in the hideout briefly. Dabi changed into his more preferred attire of his stitched jacket, matching pants, and boots. He was free of his mask and his sunglasses now, and you were grateful to finally be able to see his face again. His blue eyes looked at you with mirth when he showed up at your bedroom door. You handed him your pills and he downed them with water before crinkling the bottle and tossing it into your trash can.

“You ready?” he asked.

“Do you need me to touch up your scars first?” you asked, your brow furrowed with concern.

The ‘yes’ hung on the edge of Dabi’s tongue, the desire for relief always present, but this time he swallowed it. Wherever he was taking you, he didn’t want your sensory overload to be an issue.

“I’m fine,” he replied.

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Uh-huh... you know, that word doesn’t mean what you think it means.”

“It means that I’ve got it under control.”

You pursed your lips and looked down at your attire. It was the same one you’d been wearing earlier: jeans, a shirt, and a jacket.

“Should I change...?” you asked.

Dabi shrugged. “Do you wanna change?”

“Depends. Where are you taking me?”

“Not sure yet.” Dabi looked you over, head to toe, his eyes leaving fire in their wake across your skin. “You look great. Let’s get outta here.”

You were too flustered to argue, so you followed him down the stairs and out the door into the night air. A gentle mist of rain was falling down slowly, coating everything in a diamond dust of dew drops.

“We might get soaked tonight...” you commented.

“You worry too much,” Dabi replied as he put his arm over your shoulder again.

A smirk played at your lips. “And you don’t worry enough.”

Your hand came up to interlock your fingers with his comfortably. Right now, you didn’t want to dwell on what it meant; you just wanted to enjoy the contact that he was suddenly offering so freely.

“Then we’re perfect for each other,” he teased.

Your skin burned hot at his flirting and he glanced at you, taking in the surprised look on your face that you struggled to bury. He smirked.

“Let’s get some dinner first,” he continued. “What d’ya want?”

“What can we afford?”

Dabi flashed the fat wad of cash nestled in the inner coat pocket against his chest. “Whatever we want. My treat.”

Your eyes bulged. “Dabi! Where did you get that??”

Dabi scoffed. “Did ya think I was just checking out your cute ass while I was walking behind you all day?”

“I— What??”

“Gotta make a living somehow, sweetheart. I’m an expert pickpocket, remember?”

You did remember. But right now, Dabi pickpocketing was the last thing on your mind. He was getting under your skin on purpose, and you were enjoying it. It felt like old times, before things had gotten... complicated.

“Pick your poison, doll. What’re ya feelin’?”

“Hmmm... how about sushi?” you suggested.

Dabi grimaced. “Uhhh, gotta confession. I hate fish.”

You laughed. “How can you be Japanese and hate fish? It’s like a cultural staple.”

Dabi wrinkled his nose. “It tastes... fishy. And slimy. And I hate the way it smells.”

You laughed again. “Okay, not sushi then. How about ramen?”

“Didn’t we have that recently? Twice?”

“Yeah, because it’s delicious. I could probably live off ramen, to be honest...”

“Hm.”

You rolled your eyes. “Okay, smartass, what do you want to eat?”

“I know just the spot. We gotta hop on the bus, though.”

“Lead the way.”

A few minutes later, you stepped off the bus to see a small little restaurant. Its entire front was a large window that was open to the street, with a counter and bar stools attached into the cement. An animated neon sign of a ramen bowl danced on its low roofline.

“I thought you didn’t want ramen?” you asked confused.

“Surpriiise.” Dabi singsonged. You began crossing the street together. “The owner is a bit rough around the edges, and a total alcoholic. But his ramen is the best I’ve had.”

A canopy overhang allowed for protection from the drizzling as the two of you sat down at the counter.

“Oy,” said a gruff voice. You looked up to see an old man with what remained of his hair pulled back into a ponytail and tattoos up to his jaw line. “You again.”

“Long time no see.” Dabi replied.

The man nodded at you. “Who’s this?”

“A friend.”

Your heart sank in your chest at the label, and then you cursed yourself for being an idiot. Of course you were friends. All of this – helping you through your panic attack, letting you lean on him on the ride home, taking you out to get your mind off things... it was Dabi being a good friend.

A friend who held your hand.

A friend who put his arm around your shoulder.

A friend who almost kissed you the night before...

You refocused your attention when Dabi nudged you with his elbow. “Huh??”

“What do you want?” Dabi repeated.

The old man waved his hand dismissively. “Don’t worry, I’ve got just the thing.” Then he set down a bowl of edamame for you to share and immediately began preparing the food.

“Wait, what just happened?” you asked.

Dabi laughed. “You took too long deciding so he decided for you.”

“Oh.”

“You want something to drink?”

You stared at the list of beverages. “Beer. Sapporo?”

Dabi’s grin widened. “Oh, loosening up now, are we?” He put the order in, holding up two of his fingers. A moment later, two tall, ice-cold beer cans were placed in front of you.

You took a sip, letting the carbonation and flavor play on your tongue. You didn’t answer right away, unease swimming in your chest. You took a few more sips.

“Dabi...” you finally probed. He looked at you sideways as he drank. “Why are you doing this?”

What is this to you?

Dabi set the can down and began to fiddle with it, his fingers wiping patterns into the condensation.

“Because I didn’t want to go back there either. We were both stir-crazy in that place. Figured it was time to stretch our legs a little. Tonight should just be about having fun.”

“Well...” you smiled. “If that’s the case, you know what I want?”

Dabi looked at you attentively, his eyes trying to pry the answer before your lips could give it. “What?” he replied.

“I want to get drunk.”

Dabi let out a surprised laugh.

Your grin widened. “Like, stupid drunk.”

“Wasted?”

“Absolutely shitfaced.” You grinned into your beer as you drank more of it down, letting it wash over the knot you felt in your gut.

Dabi laughed again. “I think we can manage that.” He took another swig of his beer. “This’ll be fun...” he muttered.

You didn’t want to think about anything tonight. You didn’t want to worry. And you didn’t want to rehash what had happened earlier during the day. All you wanted was a break, a night to feel like a normal person, to be able to feel like you were a part of the world again.

So, you drank, and laughed, and ate. Dabi was right. It was the best ramen you’d ever had. Thirty minutes later, your stomach was now full and happy, and your veins hummed warmly with the first beer you drank. Just as you finished your can, another took its place.

You stared at it. “What’s this?”

Dabi held up his new can in a toast. “You said you wanted to get wasted. Cheers.”

“Oh God...” you laughed. “But I’m so full...”

“Don’t worry, doll. We got all night.”

“Really?”

Dabi shrugged. “Not unless you got plans with someone else,” he teased.

You laughed. “Trust me, you have nothing to worry about in that department.”

“Not even your dealer friend from earlier?” Dabi prodded curiously.

“Yatsu??”

“You two even have nicknames for each other. How cute.” he commented dryly, his stiff grin never reaching his eyes.

You rolled your eyes. “Uh, nooo.... I mean, there’s history there, but... it’s long past.”

The shop owner refilled the small bowl of edamame. Dabi grabbed one and skinned it with his teeth.

“Yeah?” he said, “I’d be curious to hear that story...”

You laughed. “Not much to it, really... Yatsumoto was interested but I wasn’t.”

“Really?” Dabi’s sarcasm dripped heavy. “An upstanding guy like that?”

“I wasn’t too interested in relationships back then. Very single focused on my research at the time. Besides,” — you took a swig of your drink and then leaned into Dabi, your voice dropping to a whisper — “he’s not really my type.”

You picked up an edamame shell and ate the soybeans from it.

“Oh yeah? What is your type then?”

‘Someone tall, dark, and handsome with the world’s biggest daddy issues.’

You thought it, but didn’t say it.

A grin started on Dabi’s lips, a mischievous glint in his half-lidded eyes. “Maybe someone who’s in horrible need of chapstick?”

Shigaraki instantly came to your mind, and you laughed. You threw the empty edamame shell at Dabi. “What?? No.”

Dabi’s grin widened. “Hmm, maybe someone with a wide variety of personalities...”

“You’re terrible.”

“Or maybe someone who knows magic tricks.”

“Oh my God, no. Compress is like a brother to me, that’s so weird.”

Instant elation filled Dabi’s veins, but he tamped it down, keeping his expression neutral. Instead, he grabbed another edamame. “Coulda fooled me; you two seem close.”

“That’s because he’s the one who recruited me into the League,” you replied. “He saved my life a while back.”

Dabi’s amusement fell apart at this new piece of information. His smirk was gone, his expression neutral.

“What happened?” he asked.

“Not long after I’d been kicked out of the university, my place got broken into. I came home when the robbers were still there, shuffling through my things.” You shuddered at the memory. “They saw me, I saw them, and I ran. They chased me down the stairs and outside... It was Compress who stopped them, popping up out of nowhere. I probably would have been killed if he didn’t show up...”

Dabi’s mind rolled over the information, filing it next to all the other little facts he’d gathered about you.

“Do you know what they were after?” he asked.

A half smile curled your lip that didn’t reach your eyes. “They weren’t going through my bathroom or bedroom looking for jewelry or digging through my bags for cash. One of them had my laptop, and the other was shuffling through papers.”

“They were after your research.”

You snapped finger guns at him. “Bingo.”

Dabi took a long draw of his beer and you followed suit. He stared into the can as he swirled its contents slowly. “So how does your brother fit into all of this?”

You had begun to raise your beer can to your lips, but you hesitated, then lowered it back down to the counter. “He was the reason for my research. I wanted to help him, figure out how to make it so that his quirk couldn’t hurt himself or anyone else ever again. And I needed to prove that he wasn’t a bad person. That it was his quirk manifesting itself, forcing itself to be expressed.”

Dabi stared at you for a long moment. “What was his quirk?”

You hesitated again, and Dabi began to have second thoughts about his questioning. Tonight was supposed to be about having fun, and at this moment, you weren’t smiling. The gentle misting began to transition into heavier drops, the sound drumming on the canopy above you.

Dabi opened his mouth to rescind his question, but you answered before he could.

“Others called it Mind Flay, but he called it Tabula Rasa.”

“Blank Slate,” Dabi hummed. “That doesn’t sound pleasant.”

“It wasn’t,” you replied. “He had the ability to make people literally lose their minds. Like, one moment they’d be themselves, and the next moment, they’d be a dumb, drooling mess. Like he wiped them clean, basically turning them into vegetables.”

Dabi fell silent as his mind ran through the ramifications of such a quirk. “When did it manifest?”

You gave a sardonic laugh. “The same age it did for everyone else; at around 4 years old.”

Dabi let out a low whistle. Kids were small, emotional creatures. A child having that level of power...

Dabi wondered who the first victim was. A family member? A classmate? A teacher?

You drank more of your beer as if it helped you get the words out. “He was older than me,” you explained. “He was in and out of institutions for years, so I didn’t see him very much. My parents put him through every kind of therapy imaginable, every quirk suppression program. They’d think it worked, but then it’d happen all over again. Like he couldn’t help himself. It’d come out when he was angry... or when he was protective...”

You swallowed, and Dabi realized you had tears in your eyes.

“We don’t gotta talk about this.” he said.

You gave a small laugh and wiped at your eyes. “Sorry,” you replied.

Dabi gave a dry laugh. “You did it again.”

“What?”

“Apologized when you didn’t need to.”

“Oh,” you laughed.

Dabi cut you off before the words could fall from your lips again. “Don’t say it.”

You laughed and gave him a light shove. “Get out of my head.”

You were smiling again; and it made the pressure sitting on Dabi’s chest ease slightly.

“I shouldn’t have asked,” he said.

“I don’t mind. I just...” you stared into your beer can. “I might need more alcohol than this if you want to hear the rest.”

Dabi gave a small smile. “I know a place.”

He paid the bill, finished the last of his beer, and the two of you left the protection of the canopy to venture out into the rain. You held onto his arm and pressed yourself against his side against the cold as the two of you made your way down the street. He skipped the first bar, knowing they overcharged for their alcohol, and then ushered you quickly into the next one.

It was busy, a small dive bar packed with bodies, the sound of pool balls being struck at the opposite end of the room. Music played loudly over the speakers, blending in with the hum of multiple drunken conversations. Dabi managed to spot an open bar stool and squeezed you onto it. He remained standing next to you and had to put his mouth to your ear to ask you what you wanted. You had to do the same to answer him, and he leaned across the counter to give your orders to the bartender.

A moment later, your drinks were in front of you.

“Aren’t you worried about being recognized here?” you shouted into Dabi’s ear.

Dabi leaned close to speak. “Nah, not here. This side of town doesn’t give two shits. Half of the people here are wanted by the Hero Commission anyway.” You stared at him with uncertainty, and he leaned in even closer, his hand warm on your back. “You’re safe, doll. I promise.”

So, you sat and drank, the place too loud to carry a conversation. Eventually the seat next to you opened up and Dabi took it.

A couple of drinks later, and you were feeling the effects of the alcohol much more. You felt more liquid than person, and you swayed slightly to the thrumming of music that played over the speakers, barely audible over the din of the space. Dabi watched you silently with a half-lidded gaze, his eyes always observing. You didn’t bring up your brother again, and Dabi didn’t ask, determined to keep the smile on your face for as long as possible.

After a little while, he leaned over to speak to you.

“Do you play pool?” he asked.

“What?”

“Pool.” he repeated.

You looked over at the pool table and noticed it was empty. In fact, the entire bar had a little less people in it, some of the patrons deciding to continue their bar hopping elsewhere. Still, it remained plenty busy, and you knew the table would get snagged up immediately.

Before you could answer, Dabi grabbed your hand and yanked you off the bar stool. Before you got too far, you grabbed your drink from the counter and brought it with you.

You stared at the table in front of you as Dabi grabbed a couple of cue sticks from the wall.

“This is a bad idea,” you chuckled.

Dabi looked up at you as he began setting the balls into the triangle. “Why?”

“Because I’m fucking drunk, Dabi...” you laughed.

“You? Drunk?” he teased. He stepped closer to you and held up his fingers. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

You rolled your eyes. “Three.”

“Eh, you’re fine.”

“Wait, did I get it right??” you asked.

Dabi’s grin widened and he refused to answer. “Do you wanna break or should I?”

“Hm, you go first. I’m waiting for the room to stop spinning.”

“Suit yourself.” Dabi hit the cue ball and the triangle of balls burst in all directions. The purple ball fell into the corner pocket. “You’re stripes.”

You puffed air out of your cheeks and took a sip of your drink for courage. You stepped up to the table, lined up your cue stick, and missed horribly.

Dabi laughed, and you shot him a glare.

“I told you I was too drunk for this.”

“C’mon doll, you’re just a lil’ rusty,” he chided. Dabi lined up his next shot and sank another ball.

“How are you so good at this?” you complained. “And how am I drunker than you??”

“Experience,” he replied.

You mimicked his response with a bratty tone and a scrunched-up face. “Experience. Please.”

You lined up your shot, and this time you hit the ball, but barely, the cue stick sideswiping. It caused the ball to spin off at the wrong angle before bouncing off one of Dabi’s, causing his to roll into the side pocket.

“Hey, thanks for that.” he commented.

“I swear to God, Dabi. If you don’t stop with your commentary, it’s gonna be your balls next.”

Dabi burst into laughter at your empty threat. “Based on your hits tonight, I don’t think I’m too worried about it.”

You gave a shocked laugh. “You’re an asshole.”

“Oh, c’mon doll. Don’t be like that. Tell you what, I’ll give you a free shot.” He coaxed as he leaned on his cue stick.

You narrowed your eyes at him and took your position again. Just as you were about to strike, Dabi interrupted.

“Hold on.”

“What?”

“Your form is all wrong.”

“Shut up, no it’s not.”

Dabi put his hands up in defense. “Okay, sure. Go for it.”

You squinted at him, half to get your vision to focus and half to glare at him. You repositioned yourself again, but now doubt and two failures loomed over you. Finally, you cursed and stood up.

“Damn it. Okay, fine. Show me what I’m doing wrong.”

“You’re not holding your cue stick right,” he commented.

“What do you mean?”

Dabi modeled for you. You tried to imitate, but hand-eye coordination was getting more and more difficult. He chuckled at your attempt and leaned his cue stick against the table. Then he came up behind you, his hands on your hips.

His touch sent a shock of pleasure through you, and you sidestepped out of his hold. “What are you doing??” you demanded, your eyes wide.

“Relax, doll,” he laughed. “I’m gonna help you.”

You let him get in position behind you, his body lining up with yours. You could feel his breath on your ear, and it made every nerve sing at peak frequency. He placed his hands over yours, setting up your hand along your cue stick.

“You hold it like this, and...” -- Dabi slowly moved the stick back and forth within your hands -- “you hit it like this.” He pointed to the middle and the bottom of the cue ball. “You’ll want to hit the ball here or here. Got it?”

You glanced at him, and instantly realized how close his face was to yours, your nose practically brushing his when you turned your head to look him in the eye. His hand was on your waist, and all you could think about was closing the distance to kiss him. But he broke his gaze with you and nodded at the pool table.

“Give it a try.”

Dabi stayed next to you, his body lined up with yours as you lined up your shot and took it the way he showed you. This time, you hit the ball you wanted, but it bounced off the edge, and hit the eight ball.

“Wha... NO!” you yelled as the black ball rolled into a pocket.

That was it. That was the game. Dabi won.

“Wow. That was actually impressive how bad that was.”

You smacked his chest with the back of your hand. “I told you I was too drunk for this.”

“Hey, at least you hit the ball…”

You stuck your tongue out at him and took another sip of your drink. He cocked his head to the side as he looked at you.

“How’re you feelin’?”

“Good,” you replied with a smile.

“Good. Let’s try again.”

“Nooo,” you whined.

“C’mon, don’t be a sore loser. I thought you wanted to have fun,” he teased. “Besides, that was barely a game.”

“Ugh, fine. But don’t they have like... cards here or something?”

“I’d probably win at that too. Something tells me my poker face is better than yours.”

“You are so full of yourself, aren’t you?”

Dabi chuckled as he set up the balls again. “You break this time.”

You lined up your stick and hit the cue ball, sending the balls scattering.

Time passed as you played, Dabi refilling your drink when you asked as you bantered with him between turns. Your skills improved slightly, with Dabi giving you tips here and there. But the progress was hindered by the way you had difficulty focusing and the way your body didn’t always move the way you intended it to. You made it through two games, with Dabi beating you both times before you finally gave up, the floor beneath your feet pitching much more than it had before.

“I quit,” you finally said.

You leaned on your cue stick, your body swaying slightly. Dabi was next to you, so you took the opportunity to lean against his chest to ground yourself. But between the alcohol, stuffy bar, and his body heat, you pushed him away almost immediately.

“Ugh, you’re too hot,” you complained.

Dabi chuckled. “Come on…”

He took you back to the bar and you sat down onto the barstool with less grace than you’d had before. It wasn’t your fault; the damn thing seemed to move. There were no other seats again, so he stood next to you like before.

You laid your head on the counter, letting the cool, smooth surface soothe your forehead.

“She okay?” the bartender asked.

Dabi nudged you. “You okay?” he repeated.

With your head still down, you gave a thumbs up.

“She’s good,” he replied.

You zoned out to the sound of the bar noise and the music playing, your body swaying slightly to the beat. A moment later, a glass of water appeared in front of you.

“What’s this?” you demanded.

“Water, drink up,” Dabi ordered.

You shook your head. “Nuh-uh.”

“Your call... you’re gonna feel like shit tomorrow.”

“Where’s my drink?” you asked, looking around bleary-eyed.

“You finished it.”

“Oh. It was good, can I have another?”

Dabi stared at you for a long moment. Then he pushed the water glass towards you. “Drink, doll. You’ll thank me later. Then I’ll order more.”

You grumbled but drank it anyway. As promised, Dabi ordered you another drink, and you gave a happy wiggle as you began to drink it.

Dabi leaned against the bar counter with his head propped in his hand. He stared at you.

You narrowed your eyes at him. “What?”

“I like you like this.”

“What? Drunk?” you teased.

“Happy,” he corrected.

You stilled for a moment as you looked at him.

“It’s because I’m with you,” you confessed.

Your answer seemed to surprise him, his eyes widening slightly as his grin faltered. He gave a scoff. “I’m sure the alcohol is helping too.”

“Shut up and take the compliment,” you retorted. “I’m happy with you. You make me happy.”

Dabi’s cheeks were starting to hurt from how much you were making him grin, the bruise and the torn skin thrumming low. “You’re repeating yourself now.”

“It’s so you’ll listen to me,” you replied adamantly as you took another sip. Your thoughts were more fluid now, your usual filters and reservations carried away on the current of booze in your system.

“I think…” you started thoughtfully, “I thought going back to the hide out would help me feel better. But...”

“But it didn’t.”

You shook your head. “I looked at that place and I just felt... lonely.”

“And you don’t feel lonely now?” Dabi asked.

You shook your head again and leaned against his shoulder. “I feel safe.”

Dabi froze under the contact as your confessions fought with his own denials. You weren’t safe with him. He was unstable and violent and he didn’t deserve your trust.

But you were smiling now, and he couldn’t say that.

He turned his body towards you slightly to put his arm around your shoulders, and you nuzzled comfortably against his chest.

“You ready to go back?” he asked.

“Not yet,” you whined.

“You sure? You’re looking awfully shiftfaced now.”

“No, I’m not!”

“Says the girl falling asleep over her glass...”

You sat up and pushed against his chest with your hands. “Shut up.” Then, your eyes lit up with an idea. “Oh! I know! You know what I want?”

Dabi quirked an eyebrow at you. “More alcohol?”

You pointed at him. “Yes. But also, I want to dance.”

Dabi’s grin vanished immediately. “What??”

“I want to go dancing!” you repeated. “C’mon Dabi, pleeaassee?”

Dabi stared at you with a mixture of amusement and disbelief.

Dabi was familiar with the club scene. He used to visit it frequently before the League, chasing quick highs and whatever chick would spare him a passing glance in an effort to drown his pain in a few cheap hours of euphoria. He knew just the place to go, a place that was safe for people like him, where they didn’t really care about IDs or police records, where cash and drugs were the only currency that mattered.

But it’d been a long time since he’d been there, and the place was filled with temptations and potential dangers. It was no place for someone like you.

Besides, you already looked ready to fall over.

“I bet you can’t even walk straight.”

“Yes I can!”

“Okay, prove it. If you can walk out of here without help and without bumping into anyone, then I’ll take you dancing.”

It was a tall order as the world tilted on its axis around you, but you were stubborn and determined.

Dancing. To be able to finally move your body, to feel the freedom of music against your skin. You hadn’t realized how wound tight you’d been since you’d lost everything and joined the League. It’d been nonstop healing, and sneaking around, and hiding away. Dancing, even for a little bit, to lose yourself to movement and be just another face in the crowd, sounded like just what you needed.

With determination, you stood up from your stool. The motion instantly made you lightheaded, and you swayed on your feet, balance eluding you. Dabi’s arms were out in an instant, catching you, and you fell against his chest in a fit of giggles.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“No, no,” you giggled. “I can do this.”

“Doll, you already failed the test.”

“Shh!” you put a finger to his lips, but now the giggles had you and you couldn’t stop them.

Dabi’s arms were around your waist as your arms hung around his neck. You swayed in his hold, the motion soothing. Your vision focused on him, and for once you allowed yourself to blatantly stare at his beauty, at the shape of his jaw, the color of his eyes, even the staples along his cheeks. Your thoughts made their way seamlessly from your brain to your mouth.

“You’re really hot,” you cooed.

“Yeah, you told me earlier.”

“No, I mean, like... you’re hot. Like attractive, hot. It’s unfair how hot you are.”

Dabi, for all of his self-control, couldn’t stop the heat from warming his cheeks, and he forced a laugh as he began to untangle your fingers from his neck. The way your eyes were looking at him, the way your tongue peeked out to wet your lips...

“Okay, now I know you’re shitfaced.”

“Shut up, it’s true.”

“Everyone looks more attractive when you’re drunk.”

You looked around at all the other faces at the bar. “That’s not true...” you muttered.

Dabi laughed again while internally his mind was spinning. You were going to be the death of him. God, he wished you were saying this shit while you were sober... he wondered if you’d even remember any of it.

He sighed. “Let’s get you home.”

“But what about the dancing??”

“We’ll have to save it for another time.”

You pouted as Dabi began to lead you out of the bar. The realization that your evening of fun was coming to an end made the weight of dread return to your shoulders. Tears pricked your eyes as you began to leave.

You didn’t want this to end. You didn’t want to stop being with Dabi, spending time with him like this. You didn’t want to go back to that stuffy hotel with your medical bag and PTSD waiting for you.

Once you stepped outside, Dabi let go of your hand and walked ahead of you. The cold night air began to clear your head slightly. Everything was coated in rainwater now as the low, heavy clouds passed over you, painted in the yellowish-brown light of the city; but there was a lull in the rainfall that gave a much-needed reprieve and brought a heavy hush upon the quiet street compared to the boisterous bar inside.

You inhaled the air deep into your lungs, letting the damp crispness cool your blood. You stared ahead of you at Dabi, donned in his black coat, his black hair lit under the streetlamp. He turned to look at you, and for a moment you stood still and stared. He was picturesque, the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen.

“What?” he asked.

“I...” you swallowed, a million different responses piling onto your tongue at once.

I don’t want to go back.

I want to be with you a little longer.

I want you to kiss me.

I never should have left last night...

God, you cared for him. You cared for him more than you had let yourself realize. But now, here away from the chaos, with your worries subdued under liquor and fresh air, you understood just how incredibly head over heels you were for him. It scared you, because he was not someone you ever thought you’d fall for. He was self-destructive, broken, and single-minded in his obsession. It left little space in his heart for anything else. But he was also intelligent, highly self-aware, and surprisingly kind, in his own way. You’d begun to see a side to him that you hadn’t known existed before, and it was a side that only you ever seemed to witness, something that was reserved special for you. You felt protected by it, cared for. In a world that had tried to erase you, he somehow made you feel... wanted.

All you could think as you stood there unable to answer, was that you wanted to be with him always.

Dabi’s dark brows furrowed and he stepped close to you, his eyes looking over your face through his black bangs. His thumb came up and brushed fresh tears from your cheek.

“Why are you cryin’ again, doll?” His voice was deep, coating you like honey, and you closed your eyes to let it wash over you.

You hadn’t realized you were crying; you hadn’t felt the tears fall, too focused on your emotions as your skin hummed like an aura around you. You could still feel the ghost of his touch on your cheek, even though he’d already lowered his hand.

You shook your head in disbelief. So much you wanted to say, but you couldn’t say any of it. Not without scaring him away. If he learned how deeply you felt about him...

You’re not my type.

You understood those words more clearly, now. It wasn’t that you weren’t his type; it was that Dabi didn’t have a type. He wasn’t someone who would commit, who would settle down. He couldn’t even picture a future for himself beyond taking down his father.

But you didn’t want to face that either, because that train of thought only led to more heartache. What you wanted was to remember the way he put his arm over your shoulder, the way he wiped your tears from your cheeks, from the way he’d hovered over you the night before, his eyes drinking you in as if you were all he wanted. You wanted to hold his hand, to lean against him as you sat together, to bask in his attention a bit longer.

“I...” you started again. “I’m not ready. I’m not ready to go back.”

Dabi stared at you, his expression unreadable, and you could tell he was deciding on what to do next. He looked around, taking in his surroundings, and checked the time on his phone. It was late, but not terribly; there were at least another couple of hours before the public transportation systems shut down for the night.

“You wanna dance that badly?” he asked.

What you wanted was more time to pretend. To pretend that this was more than what it was, to pretend that you were two regular people enjoying each other’s company and seeing where things went without worry or consequence about what sat on the horizon.

“I... I just want a little more time,” you whispered, “to feel normal.”

Dabi stepped even closer, his body inches from yours. His long fingers brushed a stray strand of hair from your forehead, his eyes following his action.

“You’re the most normal girl I’ve ever known.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at the odd compliment, and Dabi’s lips turned up at the corners slightly.

“If we stay out longer, I might need more of your pills. Do you have any on you?”

You anticipated this possibility and pulled the small Ziplock bag out of your pocket. Dabi took the pills you offered, noting the few remaining. You tried not to stare too intently at the way he placed them onto his tongue and swallowed them, but you were pretty sure you were failing at being discrete.

He put his arm over your shoulder. “Come on.”

Warmth swelled from his touch, and a great wave of euphoric victory washed over you. Your smile came back.

“Where are we going?” you asked.

“Dancing.”

Dabi led you towards the train station where he grabbed a quick snack from the vending machine and a drink. Once you were seated in the empty train car, you ate as you watched the city lights pass by. While you watched the city, Dabi watched you. He watched the way your eyes lit up, the longing in them as you looked out at what used to be your home, at a world that you’d been cut off from.

Normal. You wanted to be normal. And Dabi meant what he’d said. You were as normal as they came. You never belonged with the League, but you did it out of necessity. The way you talked about it made it sound like a cage, and the more Dabi thought about it, the more he realized that for you, it probably was.

He wondered what you would be like if you could have your freedom again. If you could exist without fear, without worry, without pain. How much brighter would your smile be? How much happier would you feel? He could picture it; you, successful and happy, with a career, a home, a family... you seemed like the type that would want a family.

But no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t picture himself there with you. His future didn’t hold the potential that yours did, and he didn’t want the things that he assumed you wanted. No matter which way he looked at it, he didn’t belong there, his dark shadow blocking out the light that you desperately needed to flourish.

And yet, for some reason, you always shined brightest when you were with him. You were happiest with him. You’d even said so with your own words. The safety that you’d been seeking before wasn’t at the hotel; it was with him.

His mind and his heart couldn’t reconcile the two realities. They co-existed in his consciousness, yet their edges never touched.

You wanted to feel normal, but Dabi knew that normal would no longer be possible for you. Not after what had happened to you, how they had tried to erase you. There was nothing for you to go back to, not with hero society being what it was, the status quo still locked in place and the people who hurt you still in power.

Dabi mourned his past while you mourned your future.

So, you wanted to pretend tonight. Dabi couldn’t blame you. That’s why he changed his mind, even though discomfort and warning bells nagged at the back of his consciousness. That was why he took your pills so that he could stave off any temptation he might feel once you both reached your new destination. It was the only option available that he had in order to give you want you wanted.

He’d let you pretend. And maybe... just for a little bit... Dabi could pretend too. He could set aside his identities of Dabi and Touya, stashing them away to a deep, dark place inside himself. They would never be gone from him entirely but, maybe tonight, he could quiet their screaming for just a little while. He could pretend, take on a third, unnamed identity. No one important, just some guy having a night out with a girl that he had a crush on.

You stepped off the train with Dabi into a different neighborhood. More bars lined the streets here, more people walked the sidewalks. The heavy thrums of music spilled out of open club doors into the streets where people lined up for entry.

Dabi led you along with his arm over your shoulder, keeping you close to him. It was as if he were making sure you didn’t get separated from him, lost in the throngs of drunken passersby. And it was a good call, too... you were still very much tipsy, your balance uneven as you followed along. Your eyes kept getting distracted by the things around you, and Dabi had to guide you around oncoming strangers more than once.

“Careful, doll,” he muttered.

“Sorry,” you said off-handedly. His hand gave your shoulder a small squeeze.

You were looking around, trying to guess which club he would take you to. Instead, he turned down a dark alley.

“Wait, what...?”

“Just trust me.”

So you did, letting him guide you until you found a back door entrance with a line of strangers waiting.

“What is this place?”

“It’s a special place for people like us,” he replied. Then he grinned down at you. “What, do you think villains are just constantly fighting and stealing all the time?”

You smiled and leaned against him as you waited. The closer you got, the more anxious you felt, a mixture of fear and excitement. You could feel the music in your feet now, could hear how the building seemed to vibrate from the bass that spilled out of the open door.

“You still got those extra pills on you?” Dabi asked, his eyes ahead.

“Yeah, why?”

“Hand ‘em over.”

You hesitated, and Dabi looked down at you.

“They’re not for me, doll. Money’s not the only currency here, and that stack of cash I had is gonna dry up if we’re not careful. We still gotta be able to get back later.”

Discomfort stirred across your skin, but you pulled out the pills and handed the bag to him anyway.

“Good girl,” he muttered as he pocketed them.

The reaction your body had to those two simple words was astronomical, heat washing over you and moisture pooling between your legs. It took you by surprise, and you bit your lip to keep yourself composed as you took another step forward in the line.

It wasn’t long before it was your turn to go in. You had expected them to check ID, but instead, Dabi talked to the man guarding the door in low whispers. A few words and an exchange of bills and the pills and you were finally in.

The atmosphere smothered you instantly, invading all of your senses. The noise, the smell, the heat, the vibrations, the flashing lights and smoke... It was overwhelming at first, but Dabi kept his arm over you, guiding you through it. Your eyes took it all in, watching people dancing, grinding, making out. You averted your eyes, realizing exactly what you’d gotten yourself into and who you were with.

You turned your attention back ahead when Dabi stopped, and you realized he’d found the bar.

“I’m gonna need a drink before we do this,” he commented, his voice loud to override the noise. “You want one?”

Yes. Yes, you definitely needed another drink.

You nodded at him.

“Whad’ya want? Better make it strong, this is probably our last one for tonight,” he replied as he checked the money left in his hand. The stack was significantly thinner than when you first started.

You gave him your order, picking something that would taste awful but be highly effective. He grinned at you and gave the order to the bartender. A minute later, you both had your own drinks. You took a sip of yours and grimaced.

“You’re not gonna scold me?” he teased, holding his drink up for emphasis.

You scoffed. “Would it make a difference?” you asked.

Dabi laughed. “Not really.”

“Exactly.”

Dabi’s shoulder bumped yours playfully. “Don’t worry, doll. I’ll get you home safe.”

A small smile tugged at your lips. “I know you will,” you replied.

You watched the people on the dance floor with longing as you sipped at your drink, waiting for the effects to kick in. You needed to be drunk enough to not care about how you danced or who was watching. You need to be drunk enough to be able to nearly forget yourself and all your troubles.

While you watched the dance floor, Dabi kept an eye out for any potential trouble. His eyes caught a couple popping pills in their mouths and chasing it with alcohol. Further away, a group of girls bent over a table, snorting white powder into their noses off their makeup mirrors. In this place, no one cared what anyone else did, as long as they didn’t start any fights.

Dabi’s arm around your shoulder tightened as he looked away, angling you slightly so the groups were behind you. He didn’t want you to see it. He didn’t want you to see any of it. Because as soon as you did, he knew you’d want to leave, your worry over him greater than your desire for freedom.

And Dabi understood why. He could feel the pull of it, the drag of the old familiar behaviors brought forth by old memories of a time when he didn’t care about consequences. If he were by himself, he probably wouldn’t be able to resist it, the temptation too great. But this time, he had you with him, and it was you that kept him grounded.

It was excruciating waiting; he finished his drink long before yours, knowing the sooner he finished it, the sooner it would hit, and the sooner he’d be able to sober up later. It mixed with your pills in his gut and he could feel the lightheadedness, could feel the numbness settle over him comfortably. His scars didn’t hurt, and the headaches and nausea that came and went each time your medication wore off was once again silent.

But he still had enough awareness to realize how stupid he was being, the risk he was taking by bringing you here. He was being a damn idiot just to make you happy and keep you smiling. What if he fucked up again? What if he couldn’t stop himself? What if he got caught up in something and you ended up getting hurt tonight?

That single possibility lingered in his mind, and he used it to shackle himself to you, using your presence as a lifeline. He refused to let it happen. He’d never be able to forgive himself if it did.

He watched as you finally finished the last of your drink. Your body was loose and untethered again, and you swayed subconsciously to the music.

“You ready?” he asked.

The sooner he could get you out onto the dance floor, the easier all of this would be for him. He’d let you dance, you’d get what you needed out of your system, and then he’d take you home.

He just needed to not see it. He needed to be distracted. He needed to stay focused on you.

You stared at him, eyes wide with hesitancy. But there was longing there as well, hidden behind the glassiness of your eyes.

“Yeah,” you finally answered.

He let you lead the way, allowing you to pick your way through the crowd to find a space where you could squeeze in. Dabi followed behind you, his hand on your waist to make sure you didn’t get lost and to make sure no one else tried to approach you.

The music was upbeat and fast paced, the kind that made people want to jump and sway and sing. Your body fell into it naturally, carried along on the beat.

Dabi stood, his body frozen to distraction as he watched you move. Your eyes were closed, every part of you in motion, and he could tell that you were happy as your mouth sang the lyrics. It was as if he weren’t even there, or more like you weren’t there anymore, just a vessel through which the music moved through. It was a tide that you ebbed and flowed with, and Dabi was the rock.

You loved to dance. Dabi had never even thought about it before; he’d never once asked himself what it was that you liked, what you enjoyed. And the more he thought about it, the more he realized how little he really knew about you. It only made the curiosity burn brighter, hotter.

What else made you happy?

You pulled him back to reality with a tug of your hand, your eyes and face alight with joy.

“Dance with me!” you pleaded.

So, he did, his body coming up to fit behind yours. He let you set the motions, let your hips lead his as his arm wrapped around your waist. His body burned like fire everywhere your bodies touched, and he let it consume him, let himself get lost between you and the music, finding solace in a place where time had no meaning and all that mattered was the movement, the rhythm, the feel and smell of your skin.

The songs changed, blending from one to the next as you danced together, heady from alcohol and arousal. You stopped thinking, you stopped worrying. You let yourself drift in happiness with Dabi pressed against you, his body like a brand against your skin that burned itself into your soul. You were tingling, your skin singing everywhere.

The palms of Dabi’s hands grazed the curve of your shoulders and down your arms until they found their home on your hips, his fingers curling around and bringing you flush against him as you danced. The movement of your bodies were different now, changing, evolving. And faintly, you realized that a threshold was being crossed, a line drawn in the sand that was being etched away with each hot breath across the shell of your ear. You could feel Dabi’s belt buckle against your lower back, could feel the denim of his jeans and the firmness beneath it that had made itself at home against the curve of your ass, and all you could think of was how you wanted more, more, more.

Every inch of you began to tighten like a coil, and you weren’t the only one. Dabi lowered his head until his nose was brushing the crook of your neck, his lips ghosting over your shoulder but never quite touching, never actually reaching out and...

Your movements together slowed to a standstill as people continued to dance around you. Dabi tucked his nose behind the shell of your ear, the breath from his lips tickling your neck in ragged gusts.

He was holding back. Every fiber of Dabi’s being was pulled tight as he fought every natural urge that coursed through his veins.

Your hand reached up to tangle your fingers into his hair soothingly. It was hot and sweaty, the strands sticking between your fingers. You scratched at his scalp, and he hummed, the vibration echoing in your own chest.

“You okay?” you said just loud enough for him to hear.

He growled low and his grip tightened, fingers digging into the plush of your hips, causing your breath to hitch.

“You’re driving me fucking crazy.”

You turned in his arms to look at him, and he stared back, his ocean eyes glowing with hunger. You put your arms around his neck, and you moved in a gentle sway, even as the music continued to pound loudly and quickly around you.

“Am I now?” you grinned.

Dabi’s eyes narrowed at you.

His hands gripped your ass and pushed you tight against him until there was no mistaking just how crazy you were making him, just how badly he wanted you.

“Yeah. You are.”

His action stole a little gasp from your lips, and he grinned devilishly. It only emboldened you, eager to finally rip away the thin, false veneer of a boundary that no longer existed between you.

“So...” you said as you put your forehead to his, your noses bumping gently, “what’re you gonna do about it?”

He could feel your hot breath, could smell the alcohol on your tongue. He squeezed his eyes shut, his brows furrowed. You were drunk, he was drunk and slightly high, and none of this was supposed to be happening.

He shouldn’t do this, he shouldn’t...

He didn’t want you to wake up in the morning and regret this, to write this off as a mistake. He wanted this to mean something.

But then you whined his name, the same way you did last night, with that needy, pleading tone that made his heart drop in his chest and his cock throb against his jeans.

“Dabi...”

Fuck it.

Dabi’s resolve shattered into a million pieces, and he kissed you.

Pleasure erupted like wildfire and you gasped against his lips. Your hands behind his neck instantly tightened around him as you slotted against his body like a magnet. His arms tightened around you, his hands following up and down the curve of your back before returning to cup your ass and push you tight against his groin where his need was heaviest. Your need was heavy too, pulsing in your veins and throbbing between your legs until you were sure you’d drown.

Your mouth opened hungrily, and Dabi was done for, his tongue meeting yours as he kissed you fiercely. His hand came up to cradle the back of your neck, keeping you close, preventing you from pulling away as he drank you in.

You were lightheaded, on the brink of fainting, when your lips finally parted. Dabi stared at you, his pupils dilated, his lips wet.

“Wanna get outta here?” he finally asked.

“Yeah,” you breathed.

Dabi grabbed your hand and dragged you out of the club into the night air. The cold chilled the sweat on your skin, your hearing muffled from the aftereffects of the club music. Everything held a strange lucidity now, despite the alcohol still rampant in your veins. It was as if a heavy veil had finally been lifted and you could see the beauty of the world around you, all of its edges in crystal clear clarity, and at the center of it was him.

You practically had to jog to keep up, your head still swimming. You turned the corner and managed to find yourself on a quieter street, with less people. He led you down it, making another turn into another nondistinct alleyway, much quieter than the last without any back entrances to clubs or bars.

You needed to kiss him again. You needed it like you needed air.

You tugged on his arm, yanking him back toward you. You met the incoming momentum of his body with your hand on his cheek and your lips on his, hot and eager.

He kissed you back instantly, his tongue opening your mouth again and he backed you up against the wet brick wall, his palms exploring your body. Your hips, your thighs... he pressed himself against you, and you moaned at the feeling of his thigh pressing between your legs, your hips rolling.

Dabi’s mouth broke from yours to trail wet kisses to your jawline and down your neck. Your fingers gripped his hair, your body moving of its own accord, finally cut loose of its strings.

But suddenly, a wave of unpleasant heat began to wash over you, and the lightheadedness from before evolved into full-on spinning.

“Dabi...” you warned.

“Hm?” he hummed, too engrossed in the feel of you to hear the shift in your tone.

You could feel it, the way your stomach rolled. All that drinking, and dancing, and running...

You were going to be sick.

“Dabi stop –”

You shoved him away just in time to bend over to the side and vomit your alcohol all over the ground.

“Oh shit.” Dabi’s arm was around you in an instant, holding you up as you emptied your stomach, his other hand brushing your hair back and out of your face. “It’s okay, doll. I gotcha.”

The lust in Dabi’s veins evaporated immediately, his mental fog receding as he held you while your body convulsed.

Realization crashed over him on all that had just happened.

He shouldn’t have done any of this.

He shouldn’t have taken you that club, he shouldn’t have danced with you, he shouldn’t have touched you like that...

And he definitely shouldn’t have kissed you. Not while you were both drunk off your asses, where you couldn’t tell where the alcohol ended and your feelings began.

Fuck, you were too important to him to fuck this up.

It was too late now. He could still taste you on his tongue, could recall in stunning clarity the feel of your body beneath his palms, the way it had bent to his will. He’d finally had a taste of you and he craved more. He’d unlocked something within himself that couldn’t be put back, had given away something that couldn’t be returned.

You moaned miserably once you were done and wiped your mouth. You propped yourself against the wall with your body bent and your hands on your legs.

“Ughh...” you groaned.

Dabi crouched in front of you so he could look up into your face. “You okay?”

You looked at him with tired eyes and shook your head. “Nnnnope. Everything’s...” – you whirled your finger in a circular motion – “ssspinning.” You lowered your head again. “Oh, God. That last drink hit hard.”

Dabi took your hand in his. “Let’s get you home.”

“Yyyup,” you replied. You made to stand up, but the nausea came back. “Woah, woah... hang on... I’mmm gonna... need another m-minute.” Your words were slurred and your movements slow. You bent back over, your head low again as you breathed deep breaths in and out.

Dabi crouched in front of you again. He placed his hands on your calves and rubbed his thumbs in small circles into the denim.

You glanced up at him and a drunk giggle escaped your lips. “Totally sexy right now, aren’t I?”

Dabi smirked. “You’re always sexy.”

You straightened up slightly and breathed in through your nose and out your mouth as the nausea began to subside and the spinning slowed. You leaned your head back against the wall, your eyes closed.

“I thought I wasn’t your type,” you joked.

Dabi stood up and brushed your hair away from your face. “Obviously that was a fuckin’ lie.”

“Liar, liar, pants on fire.”

You were spiraling now, all the alcohol you didn’t throw up running amok in your system, and it was late. Dabi put his arm around your shoulder to keep you steady.

“C’mon, doll... I think we’ve had enough fun for tonight.”

“Mmm... I like when you call me doll,” you hummed.

“I know you do.”

“And sweetheart.”

“Yep.”

Dabi started to help you out of the alley, but you stumbled, your steps wobbly. You broke out into a fit of giggles but had to pause again as another wave of nausea washed over you.

“You gonna throw up again?” he asked.

“I dunno. I mean... I’m pretty sure there’s nothing left to throw up.” You looked around you, the surroundings unfamiliar. “How far away is home?”

“We gotta get to the train.”

“Ugghhh... too far,” you whined. Exhaustion was coming on fast and hard. You wanted to lay down on the ground and sleep.

A raindrop struck the top of your head, then another. More and more began to fall.

Dabi cursed. “Ah, shit...”

You held your hand out, watching as they landed on your palm, your fingers. You opened your mouth and caught a couple drops on your tongue.

Dabi stared at you, his breath stuck in his chest.

You were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. And, for at least a little while tonight, you were his. He watched, memorizing the nuances of you, your laugh, your smile, the color of your eyes, your hair, every beauty and every imperfection locked away into a safe place on the possibility that tomorrow everything would be different.

Tomorrow you may not want him at all.

So, for now, he’d enjoy however much was left of the night, even if all that was left was laughing, stumbling, and dancing in the rain.

The drops began to fall faster, heavier. It began to flatten his hair and soak into his clothes. You were oblivious, your face tilted up towards the falling rain, as you held your arms out. You did a small spin but stumbled, and Dabi caught you in his arms before you could hit the pavement.

“Whoops!” You giggled.

“Shitfaced,” he teased.

“Happy,” you replied. You put your arms around his torso, your head resting against his chest. “Happy.” You repeated again, your voice softer.

Dabi allowed his arms to wrap around you, allowed his quirk to warm his body slightly to stave off the cold for the both of you.

He had to get you back, before the trains shut down.

“Come on doll, we gotta hurry.” Dabi grabbed your hand and began dragging you down the street. You followed him, your feet barely able to keep up.

As the rain soaked through your clothes, you began to shiver. Puddles formed in the street, small streams trickling down the gutters. By the time you’d managed to reach the train station, you were both soaked. Dabi managed to get you onto the last train for the night. You sat down together and you began rubbing your arms, your teeth chattering slightly.

Dabi took off his stitched coat and draped it over your shoulders. “Here.”

You wrapped it around you gratefully and snuggled against him, your arms wrapped around his.

As the train began to move, it rocked ever so slightly, back and forth. Dabi allowed his cheek to rest against your wet head as he watched the city pass outside. He felt an unusual sense of quiet in this moment, a peace that he’d never felt before. The usual darkness in him was always there, lurking, but for once, he didn’t care about it, didn’t look at it. He knew this night was wrought with impermanence, and he told himself that he would pretend.

After a silence that lasted for eternity, Dabi allowed himself to speak from a place that he usually kept quiet, a place he’d never before given credence to.

“I hope you remember this...” he whispered against your hair.

You didn’t answer. The mixture of alcohol, exhaustion, warmth, and the movement of the train had lulled you to sleep. It forced a small loneliness to settle on Dabi’s shoulders.

It had been fun while it lasted.

He had to shake you awake once the train reached your stop. You were half asleep as you followed him off and leaned against him the entire walk home. Dabi had half a mind to give you a piggyback ride to save time, but the healing wound on his back itched as a reminder. His scars didn’t hurt terribly yet, but he remained cautious, aware that your quirk had burned off long ago. Now it was only your pills that were keeping the excruciating pain at bay. He could feel them lurking beneath the surface, waiting to wreak havoc on his body again.

It was an ordeal getting you in and up the stairs. You’d gravitated towards the couch in the common room as soon as you saw it, and whined at him when he redirected you to the stairs.

“Elevator,” you whined.

The old machinery squeaked and rattled, and Dabi didn’t want to wake the others just to deal with curious looks and even more curious questions.

“Too noisy.” Dabi replied.

So, he helped you up the steps of the stairwell, catching you when you faltered.

By the third stumble, your giggles returned.

“Shh, shut up,” he whispered.

Your giggle turned into a cackle, unable to control yourself, and Dabi put his hand over your mouth to try to quiet you. Your tongue stuck out and licked his palm, running across his staples.

He yanked his hand away, repulsed. “Ugh! You’re disgusting.”

You cackled some more, and your voice echoed off the stairwell. You clamped your own hand over your mouth to stifle your laughter as your eyes squeezed shut, tears stinging the corners.

Dabi couldn’t help but chuckle at you.

“You’re ridiculous,” he muttered. “Come on, you idiot.”

He finally had to put your arm around his shoulder and his arm around your waist, and your giggles finally subsided, the occasional chuckle escaping your lips.

Dabi managed to get you through your bedroom door and plopped you down on top of your bed, where you lay sprawled out, your eyelids heavy.

“Dabi...” you slurred.

Dabi began helping you out of your shoes. “Yeah?”

“Did we kiss?”

Dabi froze, his hands in the middle of peeling off your wet socks. It was as if like you’d shot a bullet through his chest, and now his heart was bleeding out, leaving nothing but emptiness inside.

You didn’t remember.

You already forgot.

Dabi stared at you for a moment as you laid back with your arm over your eyes to block the light. His jaw clenched.

“No, doll.”

“Aww...” you pouted. “I thought we did...”

“You must’ve been dreaming on the train.”

“Mmm, it was a really good dream...”

You rolled to your side and curled in on yourself, tears in your eyes as you stared at your bedside lamp. You were still wrapped up in his coat, with your own soaked jacket underneath.

“C’mon, doll.”

Dabi made you sit up and began taking his coat off you. You rubbed at your eyes sleepily. As soon as he got your own jacket off, you fell back sideways into the bed. Dabi grabbed your blanket and laid it over you.

“I wish I were your type...” you whispered.

Dabi froze for a moment, his eyes on you. But you didn’t look at him; it was almost as if you were talking to yourself.

It stung him how little you remembered from your night together. But Dabi accepted it bitterly, playing along. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe tomorrow you wouldn’t hate him.

“No you don’t,” he replied quietly.

“Yes I do....”

Your eyes closed, and Dabi watched and waited. But they didn’t open again, and your breaths fell soft and even. You’d fallen asleep.

A heavy sigh escaped out of his nose, and he crouched at the edge of your bed, his arms on your mattress with his chin in his fist as he watched you sleep.

His type. It was the second time you’d brought it up that night, even though you didn’t remember. He remembered the jab he’d thrown at you ages ago; he remembered how you reacted. It was his first real hint that showed him you were interested in him.

But then everything fell apart and you put him back together piece by piece. And it was all different after that. Dabi had assumed that his little comment no longer mattered; that it had become a thing of the past, once you’d gotten to know him and all of his problems. After all, why the hell would you even want to be his type anyway?

But you did, and now his careless words from before were back to bite him in the ass. Because now he had only one type, and it was you.

And you weren’t going to remember a thing.

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Chapter 17

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TAGLIST: @babayaga67 @ladroone @samemec @georgettesand @horsetechie @ajaviary @thegratefulbread25 @lovingandenjoying @jammakesjam @christalcake @moth-baybee @kdadss @stealingyourturts @purplesweethart @reapersbarge @ren-z @dabi-lover @ohh-takuuu @darkovergrownforestnymph @silverrings-n-prettythings @kirisbeltbuckle @wynnsmelody @sleepyfairyxo @noonasaryn @alittlemoth @prettylambs @n0san1tyl3ft @afuturefailure @sleepycrybby @piratequeen-impact @n3cr0p0l1s @ladyinfini @forrest-of-the-fae @here2vibe @dabislittleprincess @dabislittlemouse @zephoncocaine @kowalsqq @lovingandenjoying @ravenskit @stealingyourturts @crunchtits @byebyeeye @wanhedavaliquette @toastycp @diplotzakkaistriftatsigara @redmilligan @endlessfreaky @noonasaryn

#Dabi x reader #touya x reader #dabi x you #dabi x y/n #touya x you #touya x y/n #Dabi #touya todoroki #soft dabi #angst #pining #slow burn

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phefics · 6 months

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omg hi i love your scream fics but i was wondering if you could write #23 from the prompt list for simon from fear street?? he is sooo underrated <3

more than a one night stand

ship: simon kalivoda x gn!reader summary: “just once.” (x) warnings: reader gives a blowjob word count: 588

Just once, is what you had said.

You thought it was your last night on Earth, who could blame you? Dying a virgin would have been a total bummer. Simon had agreed, and so, you had lost your virginity to your best friend in a dirty school bathroom, not expecting to survive until sunrise.

And then you did. Simon did, too. And Kate, Sam, Deena, and Josh. Everyone lived.

And now, things were fucking awkward.

You kept finding excuses to not be alone with Simon, unwilling to talk about what had happened back at the school. You certainly weren’t ready to confront the wetness in your underwear when you walked by the same bathroom later that week.

You couldn't avoid it forever, though. You and Simon both weren't fans of vulnerability, but the friendship was just too valuable to lose.

It was a Sunday evening when Simon showed up at your house, dangling his car keys with a shy smile, his silent way of inviting you on a drive.

How could you say no to that face?

His car played Radiohead quietly as you climbed into the passenger's seat, and he drove the short distance to the local park you two liked to smoke at.

"So," he said.

"So," you replied.

It was tense. You hated tense. It was time to rip the goddamn bandaid off.

"We thought we were gonna die," you said. "But...I don't regret it."

"Me either," Simon replied, a look of relief washing over his face. "And I...I mean, I wouldn't mind...doing it again, sometime. If you know, you wanted to. If not, that's fine, I don't wanna push—"

You shut him up with a kiss, leaning over the car's center console to cup his face in your hands.

"No condoms," he breathed after a bit of making out, sensing where your mind was heading.

"Then let me help you out with this," you said, hand reaching to cup the bulge in his jeans.

His needy moan and full-body shiver were adorable. You knew he wasn't going to last long if you did it, but you didn't care. It was weirdly endearing that he lacked stamina.

You had never sucked a dick before, but you understood the concept. No teeth, breath through your nose, it'll taste salty. It couldn't be too complicated.

Simon leaned his seat back, hands clumsily making work of the button and zipper as you took a deep breath, watching as he pulled out his cock, wet with precum and clearly desperate.

You bent down and experimentally licked along his shaft, swirling your tongue around the tip, tasting his precum and being surprised at how not disgusting it tasted.

He wasn't huge, but he wasn't small, either. You had seen Simon's cock before that night, accidentally walking into the bathroom or changing in the same room. It was bigger, better, up close, in your mouth, inside of you.

You had barely put his whole cock in your mouth before he came, clearly embarrassed, but you just grinned at him.

"Where'd you learn how to do that? I thought I was your first," he said, a teasing tone of faux-betrayal.

"You were! I just winged it," you responsed.

He scoffed. "Well, you are already a master at your craft."

Simon smirked as he cupped your jaw, bringing you in for a kiss.

"Your turn," he whispered.

Fucking your best friend turned out to be the best decision of your life, and you were glad it would be more than just one time.

#IF YOU SAW ME ACCIDENTALLY POST THIS PREMATURELY NO U DIDNT!!!!!!!!!#simon kalivoda x reader #simon kalivoda #fear street 1994 #ophelia's fics

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apirateslifeforbudgie · 14 days

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This is not the soundtrack, this is a playlist I made comprised of songs that reminded me of or felt like the story. Some show up in the final, some don't. A lot of these are actually cut! But that doesn't make them feel any less like Wandering Star to me.

Go ahead and give a listen: YouTube | Spotify

Track list below the cut!

True Colors - Richie Kohan, Faux Fix {YouTube Playlist Only} Main trailer music; feels so much like Wandering Star it hurts.

When It's Cold I'd Like to Die - Moby Feels just so vividly like Carmen and her story. Really wish I could convey how much.

This Is War - 30 Seconds to Mars I have a bitchin' amv in my head for this one.

Bottom of the Deep Blue Sea - MISSIO Stripped version used in episode 3.

Put Your Head On My Shoulder - Paul Anka Actually used for a scene in the camp!

Some Things Last a Long Time - Lizzie Grant/Daniel Johnston Couldn't decide which version to put on the playlist so one is on Spotify while the other is on YouTube.

Don't Let The Stars Get In Your Eyes - Perry Como Still debating if I'll use this in a scene or not. Because the lyrics? C'mon on.

Fire Up the Night - New Medicine

Happiness Is A Warm Gun - Joe Anderson/Salma Hayek Makes a tiny acoustic/background appearance.

Bad Moon Rising - Creedence Clearwater Revival Cut song for castle siege prep at the beach camp.

Ho Hey - The Lumineers Cut camp song.

Time of the Season (Mono Version) - The Zombies Cut camp song (maybe)...

Say Yes To Heaven - Lana Del Rey

Counting Stars - OneRepublic Important, uncut camp song!

Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Lorde Trailer 2 music

Dancin' (feat. Luvli) (Krono Remix) - Aaron Smith Used for Carmen's "name game". Also, I have a little promo music video in my head to this one.

The Night We Met - Lord Huron

Dark Paradise - Lana Del Rey

Brandy (You're a Fine Girl) - Looking Glass The very first thoughts I ever had about Wandering Star were to this song

Misery - Maroon 5 Reminds me of Carmen and Law for some reason??

No Surprises - Radiohead Another Law one. May use it

I Wanna Get Better - Bleachers Just feels like some of the story to me. But like...alot...Reminds me alot of the Heart/Kid Pirates

Knee Socks - Arctic Monkeys Cut song, but the vibes...There's one part in particular...

With You in My Head - UNKLE

High On A Rocky Ledge - Moondog This one I just HAD to have in Wandering Star the moment I heard it in Our Flag Means Death. Brook will sing some of it

Will the Circle Be Unbroken (Bioshock Infinite) - Courtnee Draper {YouTube Playlist Only}

Still Here - Digital Daggers

Coming Undone - Korn There is an episode of the same title

Celeste - Ezra Vine Cut song for the "bar incident" scene. Liked the lyrics, but not the sound for it

Come Out and Play - The Offspring

You're Gonna Go Far, Kid - The Offspring pfft...there's def not a cut lapdance scene to this song...

Lost at Sea - Lana Del Rey Does show up. Super important. Major moments - 'dress drop' scene.

Do You Feel It? - Chaos Chaos

Mermaid - Skott

Saturn - Sleeping At Last This one hits hard....really like it

Stars - fun. A certain character's theme song

Paradise - Coldplay Really good fit for the story - just feels like it

Song To The Siren - This Mortal Coil Yeah...This is another major one. It always shows up for Carmen. Even in Gundam it played for a key moment. It feels so much like her and will show up on her own playlist

Black Bird - Evan Rachel Wood Debating on whether to use this song or the one above for a major moment. They both just fit so well and hit so hard

Kingdom Fall - Claire Wyndam Wandering Star end credits

#one piece #wandering star #playlist #music playlist #youtube playlist #spotify playlist

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ladyimaginarium · 8 months

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Clem sits on her knees, preparing the syringe filled with testosterone as golden eyes flicker up to look at the most loveliest pair of blue eyes as Marlon's fingers caress her cheek and she leans into his hand, thumb brushing against her lips, and he gives her a nod. Her fingers intertwine with his and she softly kisses his knuckles and the back of his hand, before injecting the syringe into his inner thigh, feeling him slightly wince underneath her fingers. Thank God for Diana's basic medical training. Ejecting once finished and wiping any possible chance of infection off with a wipe, she rises up and kisses him as his hands cup her cheeks. They didn't even need to say anything. He gently picks her up by her waist after she discards the supplies in the trash, and he gently twirls them both around as she wraps her legs around his waist while Radiohead's acoustic variant of High and Dry play in the background of her bedroom until he lets them fall back on her bed, a surprised squeal escaping her lips. "Marlon, don't play wi' me like that." she pouts afterward, eliciting a chuckle from the taller man. "I like it, though." A moment of silence, before he's reminded."Oh yeah. We gotta see David for another round of service dog training." he murmurs into her ear as he lights a cigarette for the morning, hand tracing down her back in gentle circles, exhaling the smoke away from her face. Clem's lips press at his pulse, box braids surrounding her like a halo, "Yeah, but we need to eat brunch first tho'." she whispers back. Marlon puts his cigarette in the ashtray before he looks up at her. "A BNE, huh. Bacon and eggs. Fuckin' delicious."

Clem chuckles in agreement, nodding, "Yeah, I know that's right."

Erica's fingers slowly trace the back of Yang's hand as he rests in his hospital bed, barely awake. His skin is warm, she thinks, like the sun. One of his eyes wink open to look at her in the light of the winter dawn filtering through the window and illuminating her hair, her eyes. Yang cracks a soft smile, a breathy chuckle escaping him even despite the pain. "You look like shit... but hey, at least I'm holy... heh, get it..." he teases, his larger, warmer hand clasps around her own. Erica's breath hitches, lip trembling before her head dips, shaking her head, "You fool." He's always doing this, trying to make her laugh, even after all these years. Yang's been like this for as long as she can possibly remember, which was very little, but he never once hesitated to do so. His thumb rubs the back of her hand.

"I'm sorry." he murmurs, dropping the lighthearted act, both half lidded eyes looking up to meet her own as his gaze shifts all the way down her body. She always looked so beautiful, even now, all these years later, despite everything.

The albino woman slowly shook her head, "Stop..." she whispered, trailing off, her voice threatening to crack. None of this had ever been his fault. "If I had ever known or suspected..." Yang's tone is filled with the rage of a thousand suns, causing Erica's heart to skip a beat, "Delico and I would've fucking ended him."

The Twilight woman believed him with all her heart, but that didn't mean she wanted him to beat himself up over something he couldn't possibly control. "I'm alright," she lies through a blueberry lipstick smile in the hopes of comforting him, but that only makes him angrier. "Please don't do this shit to me, Erica." he's gentle, but firm, "no one in your position would ever be fucking fine."

"I just want you to be okay, please don't get angry." her voice is soft, hushed after a moment of silence as Yang complies squeezing her hand in support with a long sigh.

#arcana.writes #t4t rituals babey #bedside vigils babey #ship: you were the one i'd come looking for over and over and over again. || marlontine.#btw this is just a preview !! had 2 write some of this up b4 it ran away !!#fictives.#marlon hawthorne.#clementine maria jasmine cree.#jinhai yang.#erica abaddonato.#fandom: gangsta.#fandom: twdg.

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gayairbud · 3 months

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huge shoutout to the string quartet at the hospitals fancy dinner event type situation i was at for playing a strings arrangement of no surprises. in the middle of the fine arts museum no less. unparalleled radiohead experience.

#they were so sweet i went over to thank them for playing and to tease them abt playing radiohead #one guy admitted they do it on purpose so ppl like me expose ourselves HFJSNCKDH it was so funny

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needsmorewlw · 2 years

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Again I'm so late to this tag train but I'M HERE NOW

Ty for the mentions everyone! alot of em got lost in my feed but ily. if you said I was your fave writer because of my hcs just know I DID cry about it. Y'all are adorable. I can't write for shit. I use "like" as a conjuntion. But I love you.

Favourite and least favourite counselor and why:

No one is surprised my fave counselors are Dylan and Kaitlyn. They can do no wrong they will live in my head forever.

Least fave?? Ehh... honestly this is one of those things where when I replay the actual game, there are characters who annoy me but when I'm interacting with the fandom I love those same characters and they're my beautiful babies.

So I guess if I had to pick some it would be Jacob and Laura. Don't get me wrong I love them in the fandom but like I said, when I replay the game I find myself getting irked by their writing. Y'all fanfic writers are too good tbh. Giving me unrealistic expectations.

Favourite and least favourite chapter and why:

CHAPTER NINE and yes entirely for the scrapyard scene. Best sequence of the whole game hands down.

Least fave would probs be chapter 7. Like it was obviously an exposition chapter but it definitely coulda been more interesting. Laura and Max escaping and making their plan woulda been fun to play instead of it ending as soon as it got interesting 😭 the Laura/Ryan/Travis scene at the end of chapter 10 also sucked ass. I've made my peace with the ending being Garbo but I'll still say it.

Favourite ship:

Just like everyone else, Radioheads and blygbank. Absolute babes. Can't get enough of them. I need to eat the content.

Biggest counselor crush:

This may come as a surprise but it's Emma. Idk if it's because of Halston Sage but I know that if I met Emma irl I would be intimated by and attracted to her just like all my past gfs

How would you survive in The Quarry?:

My instinct is to say I wouldn't but let me give myself the benefit of the doubt here.

I would have been right there with Dylan overthinking and bringing up stuff from horror movies Ive seen and comparing it to the situation I'm in.

And I'd also befriend Kaitlyn and hide behind her so I think she'd do all the work keeping me safe tbh. Although I do have a really good aim not to brag 💅 I clean up at those shooting games at fair and carnivals and I can throw axes with accuracy so maybe I'd be fine 😌🤌

Favourite fic writers and fanartists:

Writers: @drylan @five-rat-lore @mothamcity @dylan-lenivy-appreciation-day @lowonmelatonin @chipper9906 there's undoubtedly more but just off the top of my head <<

Artists: @divomria (you breathe air right into my lungs. I hope you're safe and well x) @denkicide @korianderbandit @garbage--chan @somecleverartname05 @lenillusion again there's probably more but just off the top of my head y'all are incredibly talented.

Some friends you've made in the fandom:

I've been wildly busy and bad at making friends as of late I'm sorry, but I'll just shout out all my mutuals and people I keep seeing in my activity feed. @lowonmelatonin @wlwmages @amberpriceenthusiast @drylan @stressedanime @blygbank @goodpointsandbadpoints @faeremis @116t98 @ggh0stb0yy @alwaysher @bisexualmultifandommess and everyone else who I tagged earlier and everyone who's all up in my notes interacting with my posts you've made this fandom so fun 💕 You're all so fun and sweet and I consider us friends 😌🤌

#tag game #the quarry #fr this fandom is so fun youre all the cutest #im so sorry if i missed anyone im on my lunch break zooming though ny notes for people to tag 😭

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frogswithfrogs · 8 months

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More facts about my Au’s Micheal

Slight TW for drug reference

He and Jeremy have an adopted daughter named Bonnie (Jeremy’s daughter in popgoes) She’s was born in 2000 and they adopted her in 2005, she is 25 by the events of security breach

Weird relationship with rabbits, the shade of purple “Dark violet”, and people with bow ties

Sarcastic af

Super good at dancing, says he can’t

Plays DND

Occasionally sells his art

Paints his nails pink to honor Elizabeth, who would paint her nails pink

Didn’t live to see the Barbie movie (🙁)

He loves the movie “Fight club” and other film bro and film girl movies

Gets real defensive when anyone tells him he needs therapy “I don’t need it! I’m perfectly fine!” (He then proceeds to have a mental breakdown about 30 minutes later)

He used to hate how curly his hair was, but he grew to appreciate it due to the fact that it made him look less like his dad

His favorite song is “No Surprises” by Radiohead

He can roll his eyes back into his head

Huge “Fun Grass” reliance (Kinda Jeremy’s fault)

#he is so silly #he lives in my head rent free #i love him #micheal afton #fnaf au #headcanon

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baekhvuns · 1 year

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Helllooo. My trip is going well, though there's so much going on and I'm extremely tired, I don't have enough time for work 😭😭

See idek know if Madrid played well, but it's good to hear they can win when I'm not watching. Lmao right, he could've pulled a Zizou, but waited for him at the car park instead kwjdkskajsjahajaj

Man City? I don't know her, I'm sorry...

Omfg my Exol flatmate has been freaking out about all the Exo stuff, I hope I can bring her a little Exo related gift, perhaps Kim Kai?

Sports being fixed shocking 🔪 they're not even subtle. Okay maybe I'm holding a grudge cause I have two F1 friends and I sometimes read their posts and both dislike Leclerc and I definitely remember him pissing me off at some point, je suis désolé Charles jskajsksjajawjaj. But fuck Max! Oooooh a Lewis movie, a docu or a regular film?

Maybe if Chelsea did the Rover challenge they would manifest a win, because it's looking BAD for them 💀

Seonghwa needs to give me a Radiohead cover, I still of him singing Creep for a few seconds 😭 or a different Troye song, something about more... cheerful. Idk even cover Anti-Hero from Taylor cause I surprising tolerate that track. Or you know.... TAMINO. It's him in Rewrite the Stars! ❤❤❤❤ and not San giving us a sad cover too a d a song that Jonghyun has written. I haven't heard it yet, because I don't wanna be sad lol

I only heard the Xikers song once, it was fine, but I'm just not interested, and my boy Yechan - the only one I know is giving HJ lol.

I'll send you a whole truck of miso aubergine 🍙 if you stop mentioning undercut Hwa! Ok but he's legit the only one who looks good to me with undercuts... not my fave hairstyle, but still it's Hwa http://twitter.com/atinyteez009/status/1645777420413460481?t=4DN7__sgeyNsFQWfLDOg8g&s=19 except for middle row left and right THAT BALD ASS LOOK NEEDS TO GO. HWA BBY I'M SORRY BUT THIS IS A JUMPSCARE https://twitter.com/hwaberrymilk/status/1641244669551190016?t=6J038XLKmCEVkRgOTq3-SQ&s=19

No way he went coconut head when I have a chance to see him?!?! https://twitter.com/nobodylikehwa/status/1646889850082058242?t=bzDLXyXSeSsPZV-EuZUVlQ&s=19 he looks cute, but there's nothing to brag about, boy :/

I hope we'd be able to record the Taemin meeting 😭 I'm so happy. Sad that it's not the whole Shinee, because I miss them, but Lee Taeeeeeeeeeeeemin!!!! If we get Ten, Taemin and Taeyong to do the Rover challenge I want SuperM back! Btw if my friend convinced me to go to the Dojaejung album premiere I'd have seen THE LEE TAEYONG, but I didn't :"))))))

Yeah Ravi... I can see why he was desperate, but??? My guy, covid fucked everyone over you're not special

I was so shocked seeing WayV like?!?! YY was very cute and shy, they all were. I also spent too much money in that dumb grocery store, like why even, was blinded by the men! SM actually disappoints me greatly, but at least they like me now... I'm hoping for Ateez in Japan, but idk 🔫🔫🔫

I watch Kamisama Kiss and Maid Sama regularly <3 truly the blueprints

Many kpop idols should just stfu, seriously. And need to act like adults, Bambam's agency wants to sue people and alright, does who call him a pedo need to relax, but... no apology? I'm so disappointed in Chaeyoung and her shitty response, girl :/

Model is annoying and Y/N was too nice to him! I still stand by that! Ooooh true Domino as well, it fits so well.

See one of my friends went to the EXO meeting, she's Korean and was appalled by the shit she heard and saw :( kinda ruined the experience for her, because some bitches next to her were awful

Pls I hope Pique's girl cheated and especially with Pep 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Hellllooooo https://twitter.com/nobodylikehwa/status/1646412780126314496?t=URn3wDrqRANfwQsY3gwniQ&s=19

https://twitter.com/NotBonkyP/status/1647252825884315651?t=2YBhU2HWp8M4rd_dzjJpTQ&s=19

????? And they're going to Qatar too. I'm gonna go and stand outside KQ's building and yell. And Waterbomb festival, uhm not Seonghwa soaked kn water THANXX - DV 💖

hello!!!!

Helllooo. My trip is going well, though there's so much going on and I'm extremely tired, I don't have enough time for work 😭😭 //// See idek know if Madrid played well, but it's good to hear they can win when I'm not watching. Lmao right, he could've pulled a Zizou, but waited for him at the car park instead kwjdkskajsjahajaj

hello!!!! hope you’re having lots of fun!!! see madrid only played well bc all our players were injured 🤚🏻 NOO SERIOUSLY AND THAT OTHER DUDE IS TRYING TO BE INNOCENT??? MF U MOCKED A UNBORN CHILD WHILE UR A WHOLE ASS ADULT !!!!!!!! anyway, not a new news but real madrid fc dropped to a new low and is distorting and rewriting spain’s history <3 local football news : neymar’s having his second kid, hakimi did a uno reverse , livapool doing a 1-6 😳, rm dropping to a new low by bringing n*zi’s in it?????? mané and sané beef, benzema next season last season, and messi barca ✊🏻😭

???? like barcelona’s presi was unalived by that dictator they are saying favoured barca????? legitimately what the fuck

Man City? I don't know her, I'm sorry... /// Omfg my Exol flatmate has been freaking out about all the Exo stuff, I hope I can bring her a little Exo related gift, perhaps Kim Kai?

man city the one that’s most likely gonna win the treble?? hMMMMMM THE EXO STUFF PLS THE WAY I WAKE EVERYDAY TO NEW CONTENT IT FEELS SUSPICIOUS, yes! if ur in sk april 20,, u might see kai at a hello 82 event! ur exol flat mate better be ready bc we are getting the cb and world tour 😭😭 AND I WILL BE THERE, I WILL BE THERE

NOT even a little it’s ridiculously mad how they are messing w certain teams just for a former racers kid to win,, we are tired of the dutch national anthem, put that same energy to schumachers kid too then 🔫 LMFAOOO SEEE if they dislike leclerc they do not know race 🔫 this overtake he did was insane

honestly i think the universe dislikes him so adding a few dislikes won’t hurt i guess fbwndbsn but he’s mad resilient i rmr his father passed away and the next day (?) he was at the race and won it and then his godfather (bianchi) died and then his close friend did, crazy guy but just drives for ferrari, his teammate tho, he deserves it <3 really does ngl <3 YEAH MAX CAN GET IT HES ON MY LAST STRAW BC IF HE WINS THE CHAMPIONSHIP AGAIN ITS ON SIGHT I UNDERSTAND UR FRIENDS ON THAT PART 🤚🏻 a full fledged movie!! a biopic and brad pitt’s in it as well, i think he’s playing alsono or vettel!

LMFAOOO atp nothing can make chelsea win, not even our lord and saviour kai maybe if they get nagelsmann or enrique somehow come

STOP IT UR RIGHT HE NEEDS TO DO THOSE CLASSIC COVERS RATHER then the tiktok things pls 🔫 anti hero?? omg hwaxtay >> EVERYTHING STOP! ITS TAMINO X HWA AND MADDOX NEEDS TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN WHAT THE HELL, after hearing san’s cover i had to immediately go hear the lee hi’s ver and then stumbled upon her performance of it crying and then sobbed my eyes out

I only heard the Xikers song once, it was fine, but I'm just not interested, and my boy Yechan - the only one I know is giving HJ lol. //// I'll send you a whole truck of miso aubergine 🍙 if you stop mentioning undercut Hwa! Ok but he's legit the only one who looks good to me with undercuts... not my fave hairstyle, but still it's Hwa http://twitter.com/atinyteez009/status/1645777420413460481?t=4DN7__sgeyNsFQWfLDOg8g&s=19 except for middle row left and right THAT BALD ASS LOOK NEEDS TO GO. HWA BBY I'M SORRY BUT THIS IS A JUMPSCARE https://twitter.com/hwaberrymilk/status/1641244669551190016?t=6J038XLKmCEVkRgOTq3-SQ&s=19

idk what it is but kq doing a lot of songs w that middle eastern sound track that just ✨ like esp the real’s last part, play it at a party and everyone would sTEP UP LMFAOOO I GUESS I WONT GET IT BC UNDERCUT HWA >>>> very hot man, very,,, OKAY SOME PHOTOS HE REALLT LOOKS BALD FHWJFKSFHKS that last one, needs a slap on his neck

NOOOO I WAS SO UPSET HE BROUGHT THAT BACK WHY IS IT ROUNDER THAN USUAL 😭😭😭😭😭 TAKE IT OFF HWA

PLS RECORD EVERYTHING GET HIS SIGN ON EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE A SHINEE MEMBER HOSTS IT 😭😭 speaking of superm, wonder how that dozen is doing jcbwkcjcl came and posted a picture then sent the kpop into a havoc and then disappeared smh,,, NAURRRRR U DIDNT SEE THE LEE TAEYONG????? TOP 10 BETRAYALS OF LIFE

Yeah Ravi... I can see why he was desperate, but??? My guy, covid fucked everyone over you're not special /// I was so shocked seeing WayV like?!?! YY was very cute and shy, they all were. I also spent too much money in that dumb grocery store, like why even, was blinded by the men! SM actually disappoints me greatly, but at least they like me now... I'm hoping for Ateez in Japan, but idk 🔫🔫🔫

yeah 😭😭😭 ravi bro use some of ur mind,,, like now u gotta do jail AND military?? AAAAAAAAAAAA STOP THEIR SKINS MUSTVE BEEN SO BLEMISHFREE,,, YANGYANG SHY??? DID HE DRINK SOMETHINGVFANBDWK WHAT DID U BUY FROM THE GROCERY STORE 😭😭 are the insides like pc’s and collectors items??? ATEEZ IN JAPAN!!!!! WATERBOMB FESTIVAL!!!!

I watch Kamisama Kiss and Maid Sama regularly <3 truly the blueprints /// Many kpop idols should just stfu, seriously. And need to act like adults, Bambam's agency wants to sue people and alright, does who call him a pedo need to relax, but... no apology? I'm so disappointed in Chaeyoung and her shitty response, girl :/

TRULY TRULY!!!!! omg anon do u rmr pretty rhythm aurora dream, alice academy, kodocha, itzurana kiss??? no seriously like what’s it take u to stop ur mouth,,, if i was in their place id say nothing AND still be earning, imagine earning millions for not speaking??? idols need to go back to being mysterious,, someone said her apology was straight out of chatgpt 😭😭😭 and youngji…saying the n word, wearing a ganesha shirt on a drinking show…while drinking 😭😭

I'm so stocked for Barbie, even if it's bad I'm living for it, but I'm looking forward to edgy MEN reviewing it lmaooo. Omg the Le Sserafim photos and teasers?! So gorgeous, I hope I like the song though /// Model is annoying and Y/N was too nice to him! I still stand by that! Ooooh true Domino as well, it fits so well.

I AM TOOOOOO!!!! booking tickets for it right after oppenheimer bc i think everyone will need barbie after watching that movie,, hoping both of the movies reach a great success!! this year’s movies are so packed, oppenheimer, barbie, dune 2, insidious series, hunger games, ghosted, pope’s exorcist, indiana jones, mission impossible, the nun 2, the exorcist (omg), wonka AND IVE BEARD THEYRE TRYING TO MAKE A LEGALLY BLONDE 2 ???? WE ARE WINNINGGG,, domino’s vocals are so stUNNING YES THE LSF SONG IM SO EXCITED TO SEE WHAT THEY DO

See one of my friends went to the EXO meeting, she's Korean and was appalled by the shit she heard and saw :( kinda ruined the experience for her, because some bitches next to her were awful /// Pls I hope Pique's girl cheated and especially with Pep 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

right 😭😭 idk why they treat them like this for having a family come on 😭😭 BUT WHATS GOOD KEXOLS WERE THROWN BY EXOS BODYGUARDS ✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻 THROWN!! KARATED!!!! kexols were also mad bc exo went to japan and were like “are exo japanese singers now???” gIRL IF U DONT SHUT UR MOUTH!!! APPARENTLY SHE DID SHE WAS FRIENDS WITH PEP’S DAUGHTER AND THEN PIQUE CHEATED ON HER WITH A LAWYER THIS IS SO MAD BUT FUNNY pep did it for shakira i knew he was a fan

Hellllooooo https://twitter.com/nobodylikehwa/status/1646412780126314496?t=URn3wDrqRANfwQsY3gwniQ&s=19

that outfit😵‍💫😵‍💫

https://twitter.com/NotBonkyP/status/1647252825884315651?t=2YBhU2HWp8M4rd_dzjJpTQ&s=19 ????? And they're going to Qatar too. I'm gonna go and stand outside KQ's building and yell. And Waterbomb festival, uhm not Seonghwa soaked kn water THANXX - DV 💖

ateez in japan,,, anon are u 👁👁 not qatar come on 😭😭😭 SOAKED IN WATEF FBWNBDKW AND THE WET HAIR???? ANON HOW WILL U SURVIVE FBWNFHK

we winning??????

now hold on…

LMFAOOOO my asian queen 🤲🏻 this is so fun bc imagine her singing fireworks @ buckingham palace fbwkfbsk, can’t wait to see the coronation and the history

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

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dustedmagazine · 2 years

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Stephen Becker — A Calm That Shifts (NNA Tapes)

Photo by Chris Weiss

A Calm That Shifts by Stephen Becker

Stephen Becker disguises the craft invested in his music by keeping melody front and center. Deftly fingerpicked guitars scaffold a host of instrumental embellishments, mostly played by Becker himself. And then there’s Becker’s voice, airy and multi-tracked, sitting high in the mix, like Elliott Smith at his most upbeat. The level of detail in the music invites close inspection, while the songcraft keeps everything moving along at a sprightly pace. It’s an enviable balancing act, and one that Becker walks with aplomb.

Though A Calm That Shifts is his solo debut, Becker’s involved in a long list of other bands, including Market, who put out the very fine The Consistent Brutal Bullshit Gong earlier in the year. Becker makes explicit reference to his involvement in other people’s projects on “Secondary Player” (“Let me play bass!”), while his lyrics play with the idea of blending into scenarios and patiently allowing situations to unfold rather than forcing matters. It gives the impression of a creative force both formidable and humble.

Take “Unspoken,” for instance. It’s built around a deceptively simple see-sawing pair of acoustic guitar chords: a gorgeous, open major-seventh and its relative minor. Becker occasionally throws in some subtle passing chords to spice up the recipe, then when the song feels like it’s wrapping up, a drum machine fades into the picture. The song then takes a surprising left turn into a rhythmically complex coda, chock full of instrumental counterpoint, including piano and chugging bass. On an album full of wonderfully constructed instrumental parts, it’s perhaps A Calm That Shift’s finest moment. “Unspoken” is also a telling title given that Becker leads most of his songs from the front. Vocal melodies are afforded prominence, so when there’s an instrumental break, such as the blaringly loud electric guitar at the end of “Water In My Eyes,” it really stands out. Crisp drum parts also make a welcome addition to serpentine single “Disappearing Hand,” and finale “Home Isn’t Home” clearly doffs its cap to Phil Selway’s distinctive drum part from Radiohead’s “Weird Fishes/Arpeggi.”

A Calm That Shifts’ greatest strength is how subtly it insinuates its way into your consciousness. Gently expansive and modestly understated, these songs are both familiar and addictively unconventional.

Tim Clarke

#stephen becker #a calm that shifts #nna tapes #tim clarke #albumreview #dusted magazine #market #brooklyn #bedroom pop

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kyotakumrau · 4 years

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2020.09.19 ROCK AND READ 091 - interview with utA - translation PART 2/2

And so hati and I left Niigata with very little money, but carrying a guitar and a bass with us, we went to Tokyo.

Interview: Yukinobu Hasegawa Photos: Yosuke Komatsu (ODD JOB LTD.)

Translation: kyotaku You can buy the magazine on amazon, tower records etc ฅ( ̳• ·̫ • ̳ฅ)♡

PART 1 HERE

-- With 40~50k yen you can do a short sightseeing trip to Tokyo (laughing).

utA: Yeah, that's why we got part time jobs soon and started saving, and together with hati we rented a cheap place in a wooden building for about 40k yen. And there our Tokyo life has started.

-- Sounds very Showa style (laughing). Where in Tokyo was it?

(*Showa era, 1926-1989, is often referred as nostalgic old times, retro style; but the house utA and hati lived in was likely an actual Showa building... which are seen as not safe during disasters and thus very cheap to rent)

utA: It was in Komagome. There was no bath, but it was something like a detached house, so for 45k it was super cheap. But it was a considerably old building.

-- But still that's cheap. For a detached house. Was it a stigmatized property by any chance?

utA: Right? But it was cheap, so we thought why not (laughing). The two of us. Even if there's some issue.

-- There's issue with you two (laughing). There were two of you meant to live there, but it would be totally fine if the third unknown occupant appeared suddenly?

utA: Yup (laughing).

-- So you wouldn't be bothered if some floating life form came out?

utA: Yup, no problem at all (laughing). Actually, there was an episode of the ghost visit. You probably won't publish this part of the talk, but it seems like I can actually sense the supernatural. It was when I was writing music when living in that place, I suddenly felt strongly some weird presence behind me, I've been hugged tightly, and when I shouted surprised 'who's it??!' I couldn't see anyone. I thought, ah, someone had passed away in this room at some point. There is really a lot of interesting stories from when we lived in that house (laughing).

-- This is something that must end up in the printed interview for sure.

utA: Seriously?! Won't that be too scary for people who really believe in ghosts? (laughing)

-- Have you encountered many phenomenons like that?

utA: Yes, I have. I could feel many spiritual beings already from before, but there were just a lot, in that place. When hati came back from his part time job I remember telling him 'holy shit someone just grabbed me from behind, we have to move out as soon as possible' (laughing).

-- As you were living in a crazy place like that you have later started a band, it was 9GOATS BLACK OUT, right? It's a bit spooky/ominous band's name, was it because of this?

utA: I guess (laughing). It was crazy living over there, but also very fun. During summertime, the two of us would be bathing in the small garden outside, hati would be taking a shower in the kitchen sink, or sleeping in the oshiire*(laughing). He was a great guy, super funny. With this hati I've done one more band in Tokyo before 9GOATS BLACK OUT. But it only lasted about a month. When looking for a good potential band members, we reached out with invitation to a vocalist ryo from Niigata who done bands like D'elsquel or GULLET. And even as we went to Tokyo to look for band members, we ended up forming a band with 3 guys from Niigata, starting activities in Tokyo. And for that ryo moved to Tokyo.

(*oshiiire is Japanese closet. It's much deeper than Western style closet and has a shelf, you can actually put a single mattress in😆)

-- To that stigmatized/haunted house?

utA: No, no!! (laughing) He actually refused 'I'm not coming to a place like that!' (laughing).

-- ryo was working as a designer then.

utA: Yeah, he was working as a designer in Niigata, but we asked him if he wouldn't quit (laughing). As we could write great songs to make it [in music]. And ryo agreed. Starting the band in Tokyo was like turning over a new leaf. All of us moved to Setagaya ward in Tokyo.

-- Did you choose a stigmatized place again?

utA: It was also an older building, but without any strange situation going on, it was fine (laughing). This time not house sharing, all of us got our own small apartments.

-- 9GOATS BLACK OUT has a very firm image as a very original, strongly idiosyncratic band.

utA: That's definitely true. From when we started activities, the pace of work has never decreased, I think it was a good condition.

-- It was a visual kei band, but musically it had quite a lot from the ambient like elements. You had many very interesting songs.

utA: Yup. Gradually I was leaning more and more to add ambient style to songs. As for why, when we started in Tokyo, in my mid 20s I was increasingly listening to Western artists. Before that I think I wasn't listening to artists outside visual kei, but as I progressively became a better musician I started noticing more and more the greatness of the overseas bands and music. I really got into Radiohead and MUSE, and the songs I was writing got a bit more ambient.

-- Those artists place big importance on the sound of each album.

utA: True. My favourite band now is Radiohead. But at that time I was probably aiming to have a band in a style of MUSE. But our songs were not as rock-ish as MUSE is.

-- MUSE is not only an English rock, their sound is very much arena rock like.

utA: The MUSE now definitely is like that, but I really love their first album 'Showbiz'. Starting from the first song 'Sunburn' there was an amazing ambient, I was probably influenced by that.

-- You got attracted to the clean tones from when you started to play the guitar, so do you like the air surrounding the sound, the pleasant feeling of the ambient style?

utA: That's right. It was with 9GOATS BLACK OUT that we gave shape to songs like that, so musically it was very fulfilling. Speaking of albums, songs were mainly written by me, ryo and hati done 1 or 2 songs each. So with that it's like I kinda run out of song ideas fast (laughing), or I used everything I had [and it wasn't enough]. There was a pattern that with each album I felt I had to open new doors.

-- You included plenty of synthesizer sounds, creating a three-dimensional sound.

utA: I did, yeah. I was exhausted with every song. There were times when I'd write the main part of the song, and after that I would throw it to the drummer or bassist asking them [to finish it]. Creating songs with 9GOATS BLACK OUT was a good learning experience, but I also experienced how it is to use everything you had and look for new doors to open. I had a healthy attitude towards music, but on the other hand it was also harsh.

-- Around 2013 9GOATS BLACK OUT has ceased activity, where did that come from?

utA: We disbanded 5 years after the formation. It was due to the differences between the band members (about music/band direction).

-- Each of you were writing songs, when you followed through did the music production make each of you do some soul searching?

utA: Yeah, it felt like each of us was changing a bit and the gap growing between us was slowly getting closer to reaching the limit. And as a result, we arrived at the point where we didn't agree where to go next as a band. That's why I think at the latter period each of us felt that as a band our demise is nearing.

-- When that came did you start thinking about your next step?

utA: Nope, not at all. This is similar to when I was graduating the high school, I don't think about what's next (laughing). For now let's stop. After that somehow it will work. Like I'll do what I have to. Weirdly optimistic, I didn't know what's ahead. I wasn't planning on quitting music, but I was tired of writing songs, I was thinking of taking a break for 1 or 2 years from that, wanted to do it properly.

-- And then Kyo contacted you?

utA: Yup! I was very grateful, happy and surprised.

-- I heard that Kyo contacted you saying that he has listened to 9GOATS BLACK OUT music and wants that sound?

utA: That's why I was so moved when I heard that. Since I started music I felt I wanted to maintain my own worldview, this hasn't changed even now. I was glad I could continue, really glad. I felt 'even among musicians there's someone who really appreciates [my sound]'. That time Kyo and Takumi already started writing music for sukekiyo, and were at the stage of thinking what to do about other band members.

-- Have you met those two before?

utA: Not really. But I think we played at some big event with RENTRER EN SOI. And I also had a chance to see DIR EN GREY live twice. But we haven't met then, so our first meeting was when we talked about sukekiyo. [It went like] 'it's really an honour, I'm really grateful that you appreciate my music, I'm really looking forward to working together'.

-- Did Kyo had any specific requests?

utA: It's the same now, he told me to do whatever I want. He hasn't changed since then. That's why from the start I had freedom when working. When working on "IMMORTALIS" I could just let out my worldview freely, so I really enjoyed it. But from the next title "VITIUM" I started to wonder what exactly do I want. So for me, the freedom was the reason I started to lose my way. From around "ADORATIO" Kyo might have started to ask us 'what about something like this as a big picture?', but beyond that it was all 'please do whatever you like'. Not only in terms of music, but I'm quite a free spirit, also among band members (laughing). So I'm very grateful to receive such a generous support from Kyo and other members. YUCHI and Takumi, and Mika help to unify my songs. I really have freedom when creating the original melody. I really think I'm blessed to have those people around me. I'm truly thankful that even though I'm such a free spirit they are all people who can understand me and treat me kindly. They are amazing.

-- It's been 7 years since sukekiyo started, is the gratitude only getting stronger?

utA: On one hand it's getting stronger, but as our time together becomes so long there's also a thing it's by now embarrassing to say. It became difficult to say thank you. Especially having all this support from Kyo, I'm just so grateful to him. It feels like he cares so much, for me. If I got it wrong, sorry for assuming (laughing). When I fail, I get pulled in by that thought, I'm not able to do anything including song writing. Having freedom when creating songs, there's no end of ideas, but rencently they came a bit. With the release of "ADORATIO" in 2017 and "INFINITUM" in 2019 I've been thinking about it a lot, what will we do next. sukekiyo is doing quite a lot music wise.

-- So now it's not like you get influenced by something so you can write?

utA: That is rapidly going away.

-- But for example, even when you write a thing influenced by something else, when it's finally sent to other member shouldn't it be reborn as a totally new thing?

utA: You're totally right. Yeah, it will be reborn as something new, so I just thought it'd be totally fine if I let my mind wander more and create. Of course I want to push myself and always create something that will make you think 'oh amazing' the moment you hear it, including the worldview as well, but if I only do things this way it will always be like that, when I instead pass the idea to the band members it's so interesting to see how it will change. So now, you gave me a very good hint (laughing). Just, my hate of loosing in weird way comes out here, I want to be able make people react 'I'll be damned, what was that!' all by myself. I want Kyo or other members to accept the song when listening at first only to the sound I created. I want to surprise Kyo, who blessed me with 'I want your sound'. Actually, I already made some crazy songs, I want to make more songs I'm happy with and that members can listen.

-- When thinking specifically about the next [work], what kind of sound or songs do you want to pursue?

utA: It's something I've been saying from the start, I want to bring out abnormality/transformation. If the band's sound become electro or other, I don't care about this direction, but there's the thing were I don't want people to listen without questioning it. When no matter how many times you listen but it's hard to understand. And then after a year or so you start thinking it actually might be a good song. Saying that this is my ideal might sound strange, but I think songs like that are way more attractive. Not a song that you like from the first listen.

-- I totally get that feeling. Listening to the song, you can enjoy the wrestling with the music. It's beyond your comprehension, but you're drawn to it somehow. Because when you keep listening to it again and again, you start noticing more sides to it.

utA: That's true. It took me about 5~6 years to truly understand Radiohead. Especially "Pabro Honey" or "The Bends", at the beginning they totally didn't resound with me. The vertical axis felt off, or wasn't there a better chord than this etc. I was thinking that for so long, but then I finally understood after some years, it's because of those things they are good. I hope to someday be able to reach that level. Even if fans probably don't want songs for which you need 5~6 years to understand (laughing). But there is a joy of bringing something unknown to life. sukekiyo has created that for each album, so I'd really like to give birth to something even better again.

#sukekiyo #utA #interview #translation #rock and read #rock and read 091 #kyo #9GOATS BLACK OUT

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radramblog · 3 years

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Radiohead Retrospective Part 5: I forgot what I was gonna call this one

The previous few entries in this retrospective have had a big old lead-in, about where the band was and how the next album came to be. This gets somewhat awkward now, as we discuss Radiohead’s fifth album, Amnesiac.

The issue is, this tracks on this album were recorded in the same session as Kid A, and it was released just over half a year later, so there isn’t as much to talk about. Kid A was, obviously, huge, but its success wouldn’t affect Amnesiac that much. I guess it got a bunch of music videos? Like, Kid A didn’t have singles, so it didn’t have either those or B-sides.

Regardless, despite being recorded simultaneously, Amnesiac is not truly cut from the same cloth as Kid A. It’s a titch more traditional and less electronic, bringing in jazz influences and classical stuff in addition to the electronica the previous album debuted. It also apparently has krautrock influences, but I don’t really know what that means, so perhaps we should just dive into it and find out.

Much like Kid A and Everything In Its Right Place, Amnesiac opens on an electronic line, albeit one that is slightly less iconic. Packt Like Sardines In a Crushd Tin Box (the spelling errors are not mine) is a substantially more muted introduction, driven by a scattered electronic percussion and a very low melody. The lyrics are pretty simple, but “I’m a reasonable man, get off my case” is kind of just a great, memeable line I’m sure people have had fun with.

Packt Like Sardines does unfortunately introduce us to a problem surrounding Amnesiac, and the discussion surrounding it. It is extremely often considered an outtakes album, a smattering of disconnected tracks, and I consider that completely unfair to the album’s design. However, Packt does inevitably invite comparisons to Everything, and it doesn’t compare favourably. I still really like the song, it’s soft and somehow comfortable in its coldness, but Everything is, well, everything.

This theme may continue.

youtube

It is exceptionally frustrating that a higher-quality copy of this video isn’t available, because it’s really good.

There was a solid period where I considered Pyramid Song my favourite Radiohead track. It is impossibly deep, and beautiful, and above all else evocative. I have no idea why it’s called the way it is, a name echoing either geometry or the ancient past, but the little piano loop Pyramid Song is built upon is just…so much. The lyrics aren’t especially complex, but they manage to capture a very specific emotion of loss and grief, but of absolution, and just hnnng.

If you didn’t watch the video, by the way, go fucking do that. It might have the graphics of an early 00s video game cutscene, but it is genuinely as evocative and tragic as the song itself. Although according to the comments, Pyramid Song was apparently in Cyberpunk 2077, which on the one hand is cool it exposed a bunch of new people to this baller song, on the other hand it deserves so much better than being in that of all games.

I’m just going to say this ahead of time, I don’t think Radiohead captures beauty so well again until two albums from now.

We go from the utterly iconic Pyramid Song to the significantly less so Pulk/Pull Revolving Doors. I…really don’t know what there is to say about this one. It’s kind of an electronic soundscape more than a piece of music. It technically has lyrics, but they’re so heavily affected that it’s hard to see them as separate from the tune itself. I’ve spoken before about songs that are driving towards a point, that have a clear sense of forward motion from a repeating instrumental that feels like the consistent rattle of a train car. This song sort of has that, but without as much of the energy as those songs often have- it’s like a ride you have no control over. It’s basically fine, but I have no idea when I’d ever go out of my way to listen to this.

Also, what the fuck is a Pulk? That’s actually a word, I’m not getting a red underline like with Crushd, but I’m not sure if it’s an intentional misspelling or not.

The next song, You and Whose Army?, is something I remember as being way less subtle than it is. I mean the lyrics are very clearly directed at a person, and spoilers, it’s UK Prime Minister Tony Blair, but if you don’t know the period, or the band’s politics in general, it’s probably going to go right over your head.

It’s a song with two clear halves. One of them is quiet, muted even, subtle instrumentation over muffled vocals, and the second is swelling, and triumphant, powerful instrumentation over muffled vocals. The second half is a lot of fun, but it wouldn’t feel as paid off were it not for the first, so fair enough. I think I used to like this song a lot more than I do now, unfortunately.

youtube

I Might Be Wrong is probably the most traditional song we’ve seen from this band in a minute, huh. A bass-driven track that is unquestionably a rock song, even with more electronic percussion and effects on it. Try listening to this with headphones, by the way- it’s extremely heavily panned, something I picked up on in high school since every pair of earphones I’d get would break in one ear eventually.

Despite the previous track’s eventual energy, I Might Be Wrong conveys the general mood of the album- that is, it’s pretty mellow? Even as the bluesy groove keeps going, the track never gets as intense as even say No Surprises. It’s a bit of a vibe, isn’t it? I especially enjoy the little Afterword the song has, it’s not much but I feel like it really adds to the track as a whole.

Wait how the fuck is You And Whose Army? more popular than this? What 23 million people pop that song on the reg? I don’t understand.

youtube

Considering the subject matter of this song, and that I’d never watched it before, I was somewhat apprehensive clicking this music video. And…..yeah………..it sure is like that…..

Anyway so Knives Out is about eating people. Probably? That’s the text of it, the subtext is probably a fair bit deeper than that. Like taking advantage of what people leave behind in their absence in a more general, non-cannibalistic sense. Maybe.

I think this song is the most acoustic/least electronic song on the album? Save for one we’ll get to later, maybe. Its lyrics are kind of gross, but that’s allowed.

I’m somewhat frustrated by the lack of things I can think of to say, because I really like this song. It’s a lot like I Might Be Wrong, in that it’s a more chill rockier song than most of the album, but with a different sort of vibe. Uhh…yeah? Shrug? 8/10, would listen to again.

Anyway, we now hit Morning Bell/Amnesiac as track number 7, and it’s the least subtle reference to Kid A I guess you can think of. I mean, it’s a different version of the same song, much louder and more discordant. Bits of it sound like they could be comforting, but juxtaposed with some of the more distressing elements it’s a bit of a whirlwind.

I can comfortably say that Morning Bell/Amnesiac is A Good Song. However, I can’t really appreciate it as such, for a very silly reason. Since I thought the pun would be good, I had this track as my morning alarm for a very long time, and as a result, I cannot stand listening to it. Let this be a warning, never use a song you like to try and get out of bed, if you want to keep liking it.

Dollars and Cents is another sparse, low rock track that eventually builds into a bigger deal as it goes on. Honestly, it’s kind of hard to make out the instruments, a low cymbal line and loose guitar folding in on each other in the background. It, regrettably, doesn’t quite land on the same stick as many of the other tracks on the album, being basically fine but not really notable? And I think that’s the biggest difference between Amnesiac and Kid A, Amnesiac actually misses. Like, I always forget about In Limbo, but it’s unquestionably a good song. Between many of Amnesiac’s more experimental tracks not living quite up to snuff, and Dollars and Cents being largely okay, it’s no wonder why the album is often seen as the inferior follow-up.

This is not particularly helped by the ninth track, Hunting Bears, a loose guitar instrumental that doesn’t work nearly as well as Treefingers. It doesn’t have the vibe, and it doesn’t fit as cleanly in the middle of the album like that one does. It’s just, kind of, there. I genuinely usually skip it when I listen to this album, but I figured it wouldn’t be fair to do that here. It’s just, kind of, a miss. Pretty short, though- I could believe this originally having been part of Dollars and Cents, like a longer version of the end bit from I Might Be Wrong.

youtube

While I know this is a video for both Pulk/Pull and Like Spinning Plates, I associate it more with the latter. Not only is the version of Pulk/Pull very different from the album, well, you’ll see why I think the LSP bit is more memorable.

I think Like Spinning Plates is extremely cool. If nothing else, it’s super interesting how they got this to work. The vocal effect for the first verse was achieved by getting Thom to sing the lyrics, reversing that recording, having him memorise how that sounded and perform that, and then reversing that into the final results. How cool is that? I think it’s cool. Also at some points in the second verse, they’re playing a forwards and backwards vocal track simultaneously, which is a really neat effect.

The instrumental is…hard to describe. Apparently, it was a result of trying to make I Will (which would release one album later), which they reversed and played with to get this track. If you’re very familiar with that song, I suppose you could hear that, but I can’t. I just sit back and appreciate the music.

Amnesiac’s final track is Life in a Glasshouse, easily its most bombastic and jazzy. This sounds like a cabaret closer, a swaggering tragedy, an exploratory rehearsal of a final track. It also kind of sounds like a mental breakdown, which, mood.

There’s like, a whole band on this thing. Horns and woodwinds, a piano and probably more than one percussion element. The clarinet (?) noodling on the song is incredibly fun, giving it an almost playful edge, undercutting the downtempo mood of the song, and keeping it from being such a dirge. Especially as the track builds towards its finale, it’s clear that there was a bit more fun going on here. Of course, it can’t end on such a climax, as that little stitch of paranoia that ends up being the album’s closing word manages to sneak through.

And that ends Amnesiac. Now, obviously, it isn’t as good as Kid A. It’s less consistent, it doesn’t have Idioteque, et cetera. But I don’t actually think the comparison is as one to one as often it appears people do. The styles of the albums are completely different- Kid A incorporating so much ambient and electronic noise while Amnesiac has more of the acoustic and jazzy stuff going on. The two albums may have released closely, and recorded even moreso, but they are extremely different beasts at the end of the day.

It’s far from my favourite album of Radiohead’s, but I wouldn’t fault anyone for having it as theirs, you know.

We’ll get to my favourite album next week, where we will also see if I can either defend or maintain that opinion. Hail to the Thief beckons.

#ramble #music #radiohead #amnesiac

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the-rad-pineapple · 3 years

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to help with the nightmares (Supernatural one-shot)

This idea was planted into my head while I was listening to Exit Music (For a Film) by Radiohead.

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It was all in slow motion. Opening his eyes. Staring at the ceiling. Seeing Jess pinned and helpless. Her blonde hair hanging down, and her blood soaking through her white, silky nightgown, staining it dark red. It pooled on her waist and dropped down onto him. Each drop falling painfully slowly down towards him as he tried to move. It felt as if he was underwater, everything he was doing was delayed. Fire ignited. It was bright and beautiful as it licked up her perfect skin. He had barely even moved, and he knew as their eyes met, that he was too late. But he had to try. He sat up just in time to see her swallowed up by the flames. He screamed, but even that was hard to manage. He felt the heat surround him as the fire spread. He just wanted to stay here with her. He couldn't go on without her. Someone grabbed him and started to pull him away. He screamed again, but his slow reaction time only made it easier for him to be dragged away. "Sam." Something held onto his shoulder. Sam sat up blindly trying to see what had touched him, the memories of Jess taking over any reasonable thoughts he was trying to grasp. It was dark, and he tried to focus on his surroundings. He couldn't remember where he was, and he felt as if he could hardly breathe. Sam's heart was hammering so loudly he thought he wouldn't be able to hear whatever was in the room with him. He pushed away the arm that had been grabbing him and realized he was sitting in a bed.

Of course. He was in his room. In the bunker. He was safe. A light turned on, and Sam instinctively covered his eyes with his hand. His face was wet. He wiped his face off in confusion only to realize he had been crying. He looked up to see Castiel standing by the lamp next to his bed frowning at him. "What's going on?" Sam asked, trying to focus on the present. He was still struggling to get his breathing under control, his adrenaline still pounding in his ears. "I don't know. You called for me," Castiel replied. "I did? I thought I was asleep." "Perhaps you prayed to me in your dream." Sam closed his eyes and leaned back against the headboard. "Yeah, I guess so." "What were you dreaming about?" Sam pressed his palms into his eyes. He didn't want to talk about it. Honestly he just wanted to move on. Jess had died years ago. Why had he been dreaming about her? His nightmares about Jessica persisted way longer than Dean knew, but it had been over a year since he last dreamed about her. He thought he was finally getting over it. "Sam?" Castiel asked. "I'm okay," Sam lied, getting out of the covers. It was one thing to have a dream about Jess again, but now Cas knew something was wrong. Sam swung his legs over the side of the bed to face Castiel and ran a hand through his messy hair. "What time is it?" "It's nearly five a.m." Sam sighed. He probably shouldn't even try going back to sleep. His mind was still cluttered with thoughts of Jess, and now he was waking up enough to feel embarrassed. He wished Cas hadn't been here to see all of this.

"Okay," Sam said. "I just need to take a quick shower."

He glanced up at the angel. He was eyeing Sam worriedly. Sam could tell he wanted to say something, but instead he was just staring at him like Sam was made of glass and could break at any second. Sam hated it.

"I promise I'm fine," Sam reassured. He just wanted Cas to stop looking at him like that. Sam stood up and brushed past Castiel. He made his way to the shower and shut the door behind him. He undressed and got inside, turning on the water. It was cold, but Sam didn't feel like changing the temperature. He needed to wake up anyway. He stood there for a moment, trying to shove away all the emotions his dream had brought up.

Why did he dream about her again? It had been years since her death. Why couldn't he just move on? But he couldn't deny it. He missed Jess. Even after all this time. Tears welled up in his eyes, and he let himself cry. He just wanted to forget her. He wanted to move on and never feel this way again. Crying did make him feel a little better, and he eventually made his way out of the shower and into clean clothes. He walked down the hall and into the bunker's main room on his way to the kitchen. Castiel was sitting at the map table, and Sam's chest tightened. He didn't know what to say. He slowly approached the angel. "Hey, Cas," Sam said softly. Castiel looked up. "Hello, Sam." "Look, uh, about earlier—" "You don't have to say anything," Castiel interrupted. "I understand what you and Dean do is difficult, and dreaming is a way of processing your emotions, which I know you don't always deal with." Sam felt his cheeks heat up in shame. He uncomfortably cleared his throat. He didn't know what to say. A simple "thank you" felt wrong, but now an awkward silence was beginning to build.

"Um, yeah, thanks," Sam said. And that was probably the worst response he could have come up with. Castiel stood up. "I'm actually surprised you haven't called on me in your sleep before." "Wait, really? Why?" "Dean calls for me all the time." Sam raised his eyebrows and smiled in amusement. "Just don't tell him I told you," Castiel quickly added. "He doesn't know how often he does it. I usually change his dream for him." "...you can do that?" "Yes. I didn't touch his dreams at first since it seemed like I was violating something private, but it happens all the time, so I go ahead and do it." "Why the hell are you guys up so early?" Dean walked into the room eyeing the two of them. Sam quickly answered, "Because I like to get an early start on the day, Dean.” Then he frowned in suspicion. “Why are you up so early?" "Who says I went to sleep?" Dean winked, walking past them towards the kitchen. "Dean, we have a job today," Sam reminded. Dean turned. "They said they're gonna take X-Files off of Netflix. I needed to finish." "Oh my god." Sam sighed in annoyance, but he was really just playing it up. He didn’t want Dean to know about the whole nightmare thing. Dean shrugged. "Want any coffee? I'm about to put a pot on." "Yeah, sure," Sam answered. "Nice to see you, Cas," Dean said before leaving the room. "Thank you," Castiel said quietly to Sam once Dean had left. "For what?" "For not telling him what I told you." "Well, thanks for taking care of him. I know he doesn't always tell me everything." Castiel looked towards the kitchen. "I wish he worked on his communication more." Sam chuckled. "You and me both." Castiel smiled.

#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #writing #sam winchester #castiel #dean winchester #ao3

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toogoodmusic · 3 years

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THE TOO GOOD TEN with YAM HAUS

Pursuing a career in music is tough but made a bit easier when you get to do it alongside long-time friends. That’s a reality for the four-piece band, Yam Haus out of Minneapolis. The alt-pop band appeared on the scene in 2018 with their debut single, “West Coast” - a chill synth infused pop song - that immediately gained some traction and shot up over a million streams. Since then, the group has released their 13 song debut album, Stargazer and the 2020 The Band Is Gonna Make It EP and more recently their single “novocaine.” They follow-up “novocaine” with the upbeat and funky “Whatever It Is” that encourages you to not sweat the small stuff. Just as much friends as they are musicians the boys of Yam Haus show their less serious side in their Youtube Vlogs and social media and have garnered a passionate fanbase to boost. Get to know your new favorite band by checking out their latest single above and their full Too Good Ten interview below:

The Too Good Ten. Ten Questions. One Artist. Too Good. Let’s go.

1. Taking it back to the beginning – how did the four of you come together to from Yam Haus?

YAM HAUS: We’re high school friends that met up after college and decided to go for the dream of being in a band together. This is something we’ve all dreamt of doing since we were kids.

2. We’ve gotta touch on the band name – Yam Haus – its so unique. The YAM is an acronym stands for “You Are Me” correct? How did the name come to be? What does “You Are Me” mean to you?

YH: We were living in a house together when we started the band and had started calling it the "Yam House” as a reminder of the whole “you are me” thing in relation to being good roommates, friends, etc. We were totally strapped trying to find a name that wasn’t already taken and someone suggested calling the band that and we just went for it. We spelt house in German just to make it look weird.

3. You guys have played alongside some impressive names in music such as Kacey Musgraves, Tori Kelly, Andy Grammer, American Authors and lovelytheband just to name a few. What does it mean to share a stage with acts like that? Any learnings from watching these artists perform?

YH: It means a lot. It’s such a privilege to get the chance to play alongside artists that are further along than us. One of the biggest things we’ve learned from a lot of bigger artists is to stay humble and not take any of this for granted.

4. “WHATEVER IT IS” is out now! How does this song feel different or similar to previous releases? How long had you been working on this one?

YH: To compare it to our previous releases, it has the feel good message of a song like “Groovin’” and the more ambitious production of a song like “The Thrill.” It was fun to see those two vibes come together. It’s a song we needed personally, with how gloomy this past year has been for literally everybody on earth, it felt good to stumble into making a feel good song organically. Seth made the demo in February of this year, and we made the verses and then brought it down to Nashville with our producer Mark Needham and a co-writer Aaron Raitiere and they helped us bring it to the finish line that same month. It was a pretty quick process.

5. Your social media is hilarious and seems like you guys are really good friends in addition to being bandmates. Do you guys feel it’s important to not take each other/life too seriously when pursuing a career in music?

YH: Absolutely. Our friendship is a very integral part of what we do. It’s one of our biggest strengths. Another important aspect we’ve tried to remember is to not tie up our personal identities too strongly into social media, while still being true to ourselves and what we’re about. That can be a fine balance to maintain. When we get too wrapped up into everything and in our heads too much, things can start to feel really hopeless and unnecessarily stressful, so it helps to always remember to take a step back and have healthy personal lives that stand can alone outside of the band. When we’re healthy personally it bleeds into Yam Haus in a really beautiful and effortless way.

6. You guys played your first live stream concert (that also featured some in person attendance) in early April. Although there was a live audience component did you prepare differently knowing it’d be a live stream? How’d it feel to be playing shows again?

YH: Not really, we just made a set list we were excited about and showed up and played it like we always do. It feels really good but also it brings up a lot of sad emotions that I feel we’ve all repressed a bit pertaining how much we’ve missed stuff in the past year. It’s bittersweet in a way, and we’re really grateful to be playing again.

7. Do you guys have any funny/weird/heartwarming fan stories/interactions?

YH: Loads! One of my favorites would be when everybody passed little hearts around and held them up at us at First Avenue in December of 2019. We didn’t know that was happening and it surprised us in a really sweet way. Seeing all those hands holding them up at us was so wonderful.

8. Are there any pranks you guys have pulled on each other throughout the years? If so, any stand out?

YH: Yeah we occasionally have thrown surprise “turkey parties” for each other where we decide one of us is a turkey and we have this huge turkey themed party in their honor.

9. For each member, if you could only listen to (5) artists for the rest of your life who would they be?

Lars: Leif Vollebekk, Radiohead, Sheryl Crow, Outkast, Charli XCX

Seth: Coldplay, Frank Ocean, John Prine, Kendrick Lamar, Radiohead

Zach: Bon Iver, Kendrick Lamar, Charli XCX, Stevie Wonder, Radiohead

Jake: Coldplay, Leif Vollebekk, Corrine Bailey Rae, Stevie Wonder, John Mayer

10. What’s the rest of 2021 look like for Yam Haus?

YH: Lots of shows and music releases. Hoping people get vaxxed so we can get back on the road ASAP.

Yes - let’s all hope everyone gets vaccinated so we get live music back ASAP! Especially as they JUST announced their latest tour. For ticket information click HERE.

Shout-out to the guys of Yam Haus for hanging for the most recent Too Good Ten. Need more from these talent guys? Be sure to follow along on their journey below:

SOCIALS:

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Instagram

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Website

#music #pop #yam haus #whatever it is #interview #interviews #the too good ten #toogoodten #too good ten #blog #music blog #kacey musgraves #andy grammer #tori kelly #lovelytheband #american authors #alt #alternative #minneapolis

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interesting-blog-name · 4 years

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Björk DISCOG REVIEW Part 1

One of the most recognized avant-garde singers in the world, Björk Guðmundsdóttir is an Icelandic artist who has been releasing critically acclaimed albums since the early 90s, and an icon in the experimental music scene. I thought it’d be an exciting experience to dive into her discography to find out if her music resonates with me, and to understand what this revered singer is all about. I decided to start with her major studio albums first, then moving on to her early work with Icelandic band The Sugarcubes and whatever else she has out there.

Debut

Björk’s properly titled debut is a wild amalgamation of sweet love songs, upbeat house music inspired by the UK’s early 90s scene, a hint of jazz, and of course, Björk’s enchanting voice. I won’t pretend to be a music university graduate or whatever, as I know close to nothing about what 90s music sounded like, what could have potentially influenced Björk on this album, nor will I try to give some sort of lecture about what is going on here; I’ll just cite what I enjoy and what I don’t, and why.

Debut feels authentic, it’s a finely crafted album, from its musical styles to its production to its songwriting. What spiked my interest immediately in it were the drums, and how fresh and varied they were; this is a very percussion-heavy album, the UK beats Björk implements are all about the infectious rhythms that enter your body and seem to control it, but even on tracks not so influenced by the nightclub life, the percussion is very good, in songs such as the opening Human Behaviour, with its fat bass drums, or the iconic, soothing Venus As a Boy, featuring tambourines, strong kicks, some rattle instrument, a prominent sampled echoing sound and a hint of bongos; these are all alongside various other rich instruments, violin passages that flow with the track perfectly, what sounds like xylophones peppering the track, all of this making this the best song in the album, in my opinion.

And when these instruments are not there, of course Björk herself makes up for it. Like Someone In Love is a beautiful ode to, well, love, comprised only of a harp, the singer’s eye-watering performance, and some ambient noise; it reminds me a bit too much of her cover of I Remember You, mostly because they’re both based on harps, but it is still very beautiful on its own. The Anchor Song is the emptiest on the record, closing the album up with some tension and overall introspection. It features only one verse from Björk sung two times, and like three saxophones? Definitely two at least, I’m not sure how they work, but it makes for a great, simplistic finisher (even if latter editions include Play Dead, a beautiful song, but not exactly fitting after the song before it).

Throughout the first handful of tracks, the pattern of “inward emotionally potent song sequenced by urban-life dance anthem, and back again” became apparent to me, but then broke after One Day did not transition into a dance track. Basically, my instant perception was that the record was this rollercoaster showcase of the hopeless romantic experience in a metropolitan, nocturnal city, and it may be, but if it is, it’s not as in-your-face as I initially thought. What catapulted these thoughts was the live version of There’s More To Life Than This, probably the most commercially-adept instrumental tune in the record, performed by Björk in a version purposefully awkward and weirdly personal, where she sings her second verse directly into a mic while the beat faintly plays in the background, fading further and further until the song flawlessly transitions to Like Someone In Love. It really makes you feel like your are at the Milk Bar, the night is packed, and Björk just pulls you into the bathroom and starts singing the rest of the song (for some reason); it reminded me of all those YouTube videos where the uploader takes a popular song, adds some background chatter, and soaks it all in reverb to give you the experience of listening to the song from the bathroom of a party. It is a distinct, creative way of spinning the original dance track around into something more, something that conveys this feeling of slight loneliness, even when surrounded by people, the central topic of the second song, Crying. The lyrics describe the big city, the huge crowds, but conversely the feeling of solitude and missing your loved one, or maybe even a place, it’s not explicitly told who or what Björk misses.

Romance is ever-present in Debut, through many incarnations. Big Time Sensuality, one of the most upbeat tracks here, is about a fresh romantic relationship, and the growing sensation of “something important (...) about to happen”, assumingly between Björk and whoever else. The house beat paints the scenario for this relationship as a club, by default. It brings you into this exciting nightlife, only for you to be pulled away immediately after by One Day, a track so cheerful it’s irresistible, and holding tight to the theme of romanticizing a loved one, then reaching Aeroplane in yet another beautiful transition. I have to admit this is the first song I don’t love in the album, I think it is good, and in the context of the album, definitely brings something new. What sets it apart is, this time around, the bongos are being used to their full extent, paired with birds chirping and a comfortable bass, incremented by occasional saxophone passages, this track ends up very tropical. After this, Come To Me is another passionate song, this time, Björk sings of comforting her partner and nurturing them, which naturally creates a super chill aura to the song. Accompanied by the violins and the lowkey guitars, it makes for a solid track, which in the context of the album I think eases the mood a bit too much, but is appreciated as a solid production, and closes out by bringing out the bongos once again, in a very nice outro (I should also note this is the first appearance of a real drum set on the album [I think]) (I should also also note the bassline sounds a little like early studio versions of True Love Waits by Radiohead, just some trivia).

Violently Happy right afterwards is the least interesting of the house tracks, with a mostly simple instrumental, and vocals Björk seeming to be compressed, or dowsed in some other effect. It’s not a standout in the tracklist to me, but the beauty of Debut is that the worst song is still solid as fuck. I think it’s a very consistent album, that delivers a unique and one-of-a-kind experience.

I didn’t expect this type of sound from Debut, but I was pleasantly surprised. It took me a while to like, but it definitely grew on me on with this 4 a.m. listening session I just had. I look forward to everything else I will listen to by Björk.

FAVORITE TRACKS: Venus As A Boy, Like Someone In Love, One Day, Big Time Sensuality, Human Behaviour

LEAST FAVORITE TRACK: Violently Happy

8.7/10

“Lately I find myself gazing at stars, hearing guitars like someone in love.”

Post

Going into Post, I was aware this would be quite different from Debut. I had listened to Army of Me and It’s Oh So Quiet before, seeing as they’re two of Björk’s biggest songs, and they obviously sound nothing like the acid house beats and soft, calming ballads in her debut, and that’s what is good about it, the sudden shift from a relatively safe musical environment to aggressive, chunky electronic production in Army of Me and Enjoy, and the absolute turnaround that is It’s Oh So Quiet.

The bold production decisions are what make this album exciting and surprising, in tracks such as I Miss You, mixing a synth-line with super loud bongos and some addictive synthesized drums, and trumpets at the end of the song, or the famous use of the Locrian mode in Army of Me, creating this menacing, dissonant melody, which perfectly fits the song and serves as an appropriate intro to the album that succeeds it. But they don’t always have to be out there to be notable and great: what I can tell from around the internet is that you can ask every single Björk fan ever what their favorite track by her is and it feels like at least a quarter will answer Hyper-ballad, and (even though I’m not nearly done with her discography) I can I say it’s with very good reason, as it is an amazingly composed song; same with Possibly Maybe, an enheartened slow jam which progresses from a cute love song about desiring to be with the one she’s flirting with, to disappointment in how they treat her, to the breakup, where she states she started wearing lipstick again, sucking her own tongue in remembrance of her once lover.

The album is very love-centered, specifically focused on the desire to be physically with someone, with how Björk mentions her love interest’s touch in plenty of tracks, such as I Miss You, a song about missing someone she apparently has never been with, where she literally asks her significant other “when will I get my cuddle?”. uwu.

(also what is this cover art lmao)

Also including this thirst for deeper contact are the songs Enjoy (“I wish I’d only look, and didn’t have to touch”, “How can I ignore? This is sex without touching?”) and Headphones (”They start off as cells that haven’t been touched before, these cells are virgins”), but the subject matter isn’t always literal and spelled out, as the tracks Isobel and Hyper-ballad seem to play with the idea of a hermit lifestyle, whether it’s at the top of a mountain or in the heart of a forest, with different meanings between the two, however. In Hyper-ballad, she’s isolated from the world alongside her lover, while in Isobel, she’s completely alone, married to herself, as she says. I enjoy the theme, but I think the vocals and instrumentation, while interesting, aren’t as good as many other examples from the album, same with the track previous to it, You’ve Been Flirting Again, which employs very faint and uniform violins under some soothing yet stagnant lyrics by Björk; it serves mostly as an interlude, I suppose, but it could go a little further, in my opinion.

To end the album, Cover Me and Headphones subdue the atmosphere by a lot. They’re very toned down, the first features some really nice windy background noise, and what I think is an oud. It’s an amazing section of the album, and from what I can gather, seems to be about her own experimentation with her music, describing a journey into what I think is this very album, a big departure from Debut for sure. It then transitions seamlessly into Headphones, which, on par with its title, is a much better experience if you are wearing headphones. The buzzing bass, Björk’s nearly ASMR vocals turning into gibberish at the end, and bubbly percussion are all super pleasing to the ears, and it continues the theme of her own musical creating process, singing how her headphones saved her life, and how nothing will ever be the same; it’s almost prophetical, and definitely one of my favorite songs here.

Post is much more colorful, daring and wild than Debut, but I don’t know if I like it better than its predecessor. I feel like Debut is obviously much more comfortable and pleasing than Post, and that even though Post has amazing tracks like Hyper-ballad, Enjoy and Possibly Maybe, as an album, I’m not really feeling it as much as the last one. The sense of cohesion in the last one, and how it used the UK beats to the best of their potentials, mixing them with much more soothing tracks and beautiful vocal performances is what attracts me to it so much. I really appreciate the direction Post took, as I don’t suppose many people were doing anything close to this in the 90s or before, and it certainly has its highlights, but I think Debut just got a tighter hold of me, and I just enjoyed it more, if looking at it from a purely superficial standpoint. The experimentation here is great, but I enjoy how fresh Debut sounds slightly more.

FAVORITE TRACKS: Hyper-ballad, I Miss You, Army of Me, Headphones, Possibly Maybe, Enjoy

LEAST FAVORITE TRACK: You’ve Been Flirting Again

8.5/10

“This is really dangerous, cover me. But worth all the effort, cover me.”

Homogenic

Alright shit got real.

This is way better than the last two albums, and they were amazing to begin with. But this album is insane. It’s focused, but also so loose and free. It’s an amazing experience, and I think Björk in her most comfortable style yet. She doesn’t miss the mark in one track of this album, they’re all at the very least good.

It starts off with the delirious drum patterns and violins in Hunter, and I tell you, I haven’t seen a better streak of amazing songs in an album yet: from the intro to 5 Years, all the songs between it are fucking fantastic, and that is only broken by Immature, a track which I don’t think is supposed to be much more than an interlude anyway; then it’s right back with Alarm Call.

I really don’t think I have anything to complain about in this review apart from 5 Years and Immature. On the first listen, I thought Howie B’s version of All Is Full Of Love was inferior to the original, which I had heard and loved a while ago, but I can’t even say that, because this one is perfect as an outro. With the drums gone, the track feels like a goodbye from Björk as you slowly descent from heaven after listening to this album; plus, it comes right after Pluto, by far the most aggressive song in Homogenic, with the singer yelling over her glitchiest production yet. Then it suddenly gives way to that incredible outro. Other amazing transitions include Unravel to Bachelorette, decorated by the overlapping violins, and from 5 Years to Immature. The serene, gorgeous sound of Unravel against the energetic, cinematic Bachelorette orchestra is easily one of the best moments in the album as well.

I find that whenever I find an album really good, I have problems describing why, but I promise this time I’ll try harder than when I listened to MAGDALENE. To start, Björk’s singing and the instruments backing her have never been more in harmony with each other, mainly due to Björk’s and her producers’ focus on maintaining a homogenous sound throughout the record, as its title implies, and this style is the mix of strings and other orchestral instruments (including an accordion at some points) with the odd, sometimes glitchy (All Neon Like, 5 Years, Pluto) other times fleshed out and bulky (Hunter, Immature, Alarm Call) production of Mark Bell, Guy Sigsworth, Howie B, Markus Dravs and, of course, Björk herself. Jóga and Unravel are my favorite Björk songs so far, and the fact that they come back to back, right before Bachelorette, is still crazy to me.

Alarm Call is a beautiful song about how your music impacts the world, and just an anthem of euphoria basically, which might be a little out of place surrounded by the very specific sound the album goes for, with its bop qualities and dance rhythm, but I appreciate it a lot just for how easily Björk can pour her feelings onto a track and make it work out of seemingly nowhere. This song demands happiness from the listener, and it’s extremely difficult not to give in to its groove (“I’m no fucking Buddhist, but this is enlightenment”).

In my opinion, All Neon Like is the perfect embodiment of Homogenic’s atmosphere: it’s not as brilliantly and enormously produced as the songs before it, but it is frigid and ethereal, the lyrics are sung fairy tales, continuing the genius metaphors in Bachelorette.

It’s slightly futile for me to try and dissect Björk’s lyrics one by one, but they do stand out more than in her previous records as well, even though the focus on Homogenic is mainly in its aesthetic. 5 Years is the first song that features lyrics that point themselves against someone, a former love interest of Björk, accusing them of not being able to handle her, and while Immature’s lyrics don’t go anywhere due to them consisting of a verse repeated twice, they follow the theme of abandoning a lover, and this time, the questioning is to herself, wondering how she thought her significant other was a cure to all her personal issues. Hunter, an amazing intro to an amazing album, centers its lyrics around some of the same topics as the outro in Post (Cover Me and Headphones) which describes a voyage into the unknown that was Björk’s musical endeavors at the time, her will to go the distance to create something brand new and exciting. In this intro, she compares it to hunting and bringing the food to the table. It starts: “If travel is searching and home what’s been found, I’m not stopping”. It’s fucking brilliant man holy shit.

Now that I write this, I realize, from 5 Years onward, the songs cease to be about idolizing another person, with tracks such as Immature and Alarm Bell being introspective looks at Björk and her current feelings, and Pluto being about batshit self-change. Even All Is Full Of Love, with its first lyrics being “You’ll be given love, you’ll be taken care of”, seems to be addressing more of the ambient surrounding the person than the person themselves, as if they’re a placeholder for all the angelic ambience around the listener. Maybe the song is literally about placing the listener in this scenario, who knows.

Definitely best album I’ve heard yet, and what excites me is that people praise the next album so much, I’ve never seen someone talk much about Homogenic. I literally don’t know how Björk can top this, but I’ll see.

WORST TO BEST: 5 Years, Immature – Mark Bell’s Version, Hunter, Pluto, Alarm Call, All Neon Like, Bachelorette, All Is Full Of Love – Howie’s Version, Jóga, Unravel

Fuck it, 10/10

“I’m a path of cinders burning under your feet. You’re the one who walks me, I’m your one-way street.”

Vespertine

I am pleased.

This is insane, man. I think I’ll be a huge Björk fan after I’m finished with this discography. Vespertine is meticulous, it’s enchanting, it’s all-around wonderful. You can tell Björk and her team put incredible effort into this album, for it to sound as effortlessly beautiful as possible; not one idea or song here sounds forced, out of its element, or simply put bad. They unite to create one of the most astounding listening experiences I think I’ll ever get in my life.

Vespertine is proud, but introverted. As a sequel to Homogenic, it serves as its lighter half: where Björk described Homogenic as “confrontational”, “active” and “warrior”, Vespertine flips that upside down, and brings microbeats, music boxes and harps to the table. This is a very effective alternative to songs such as Jóga and Bachelorette, where the instrumentals and the singer seemed to try and outdo each other, creating these grand, empowering songs; in this album, they merge together into living, breathing and deeply personal lullabies. One of the most impressive talents of Björk is that she seems to take the identity of her album to heart, and mixes her unique songwriting and singing talents and her otherworldly personality into the project’s own personality, becoming an artform much greater than the sum of its parts.

Songs like Hidden Place, It’s Not Up To You and Pagan Poetry are Björk to the bone, with their more elaborate and ear-catching production, their humongous vocals, and would be comfortable if they were to be pulled from this album into another; however, deeper cuts such as Aurora, Cocoon, Undo and An Echo A Stain are the embodiment of this album’s aesthetic, its frigid atmosphere and tiny, fragile surroundings. They are like symmetrical, unique snowflakes when softer, or huge, arctic blue glistering caves when grander. They’re precise; stable, but at the same time would not work if they weren’t organized exactly how they are.

It’s easy to get too comfortable listening to Vespertine. The tracks are almost spiritual in a way, they convey an unparalleled bliss to the listener, and getting lost in the album is almost part of the experience. Especially in the second half of Vespertine, where things get real lowkey. Songs merge into each other, starting with the wonderful music box interlude Frosti into Aurora, which features one of Björk’s strongest vocal performances, proceeding to An Echo A Stain, a standout for its weird, suspenseful and eerie instrumental, evoking a dark vibe, it sounds like a deep underwater exploration into the darkest abysses of the ocean or some shit. The lyrics are also uniquely confrontational, they don’t portray the undying passion of songs before it, instead proclaiming “Don’t say no to me. You can’t say no to me. I won’t see you, denied.”. With all the vague and spacey lyrics, and the uneventful instrumental, it’s impressive this song progresses so well, mainly due to its weird, unsettling tone that sets itself apart from the rest of the songs. In a way, these odd and abstract lyrics mixed with the ethereal and bittersweet instrumentation remind me of some Radiohead songs, such as The National Anthem, How To Disappear Completely and Ful Stop, and I’m realizing this is a style of music I’m prone to liking.

Sun In My Mouth is not much of a standout topically or sonically to me, as it doesn’t do much to expand upon the sexuality of the album, with lyrics once again referring to inserting fingers into wherever, and closing with “Will I complete the mystery of my flesh?”, the themes seem to have nowhere to go. Heirloom depicts a reoccurring dream about Björk losing her voice, and having her mother and son pour a glowing oil into her mouth, which is a cute and artsy way of saying they’re her fuel for continuing with her craft, I guess. The lyrics don’t go anywhere with themselves after this though, but the instrumental is very creative and memorable, it creates a neat little bubble of involving, resonating synths.

Employing some heavy strings for Harm Of Will, Björk doubles down on the romance of the album, in a rather stripped-down song, with a few vocal highlights from her. It finds its place in the tracklist, I guess, although the oral sex line comes off a bit too strong for the smooth sentiment of the song.

To close Vespertine off, Unison, the longest song in the album, lays back on an ambient sample by Oval, and features one of Björk’s most unique vocal harmonies on its chorus; overall a nice, upbeat outro for a wonderful album.

I will say I felt more excited listening to Homogenic, as I think Vespertine’s romantic, sexual aura doesn’t expand into much after some of the many heavily sensual verses, while Homogenic wasn’t as tight and claustrophobic for me. Vespertine, however, was freer and left a bigger impact on me, It’s Not Up To You succeeded in making me cry. At the same time, none of the songs here felt like they didn’t belong, like they took away from the experience; every sound and line collaborates to make something bigger, something I don’t think I’ll get from many other albums in my lifetime.

BEST TO WORST: It’s Not Up To You, Pagan Poetry, Undo, Hidden Place, An Echo A Stain, Unison, Aurora, Heirloom, Cocoon, Harm Of Will, Frosti, Sun In My Mouth

It is a 10

“I can decide what I give, but it’s not up to me what I get given. Unthinkable surprises about to happen, but what they are, it’s not up to you.”

Medúlla

Björk’s 2004 Medúlla is, surprise surprise, an acapella album. And to further surprise, I liked it.

After Homogenic and Vespertine, I guess there was nowhere to go but towards the more experimental. You can’t really outdo those two albums in their own game, so you gotta branch out, try different things; and trying different things is exactly what Björk excels at, apparently. With Medúlla, all that wild, bombastic or serene instrumentation her previous albums were peppered with is gone, giving way to backing vocals ranging from super deep male bass to angelic choirs, beatboxing, and occasionally an isolated instrument. The album is rooted on the most primary form of music: barely any instruments, almost no effects or audio manipulations, just many voices uniting to become one; lyrics about childbirth, the human body, oceans and, of course, love.

Listening to Medúlla is interesting because it is very familiar, while also being a completely different experience from Björk’s previous albums. Songs like Who Is It and Mouth’s Cradle are unmistakably her, while at the same time being coated with an extra layer of experimentation, and with this new direction, Björk and her team are able to channel an energy that stands shoulder-to-shoulder with some of her best production. Where Is The Line? and Oceania are intricate and complex, showing just how much can be done with only the human voice. The low male vocals and beatboxing structure the songs, the choirs in the background give them depth, all the sounds link with themselves to amount to some incredible songs.

On the flipside, however, few songs fail to achieve that, in my opinion. Desired Constellation is notably bare and empty, with few aspects to its composition. The mystical lyrics that characterize Medúlla are still here, describing Björk playing routinely with stars to form whatever she desires, but apart from that, there isn’t much to experience. Mouth’s Cradle and its successor Miðvikudags are also not of much significance to the rest of the album, as they drift from its acapella compositions by employing some pleasant, but unnecessary synths as the basis of the songs. The simpler, shorter interludes that are peppered through the album are pretty much the standard sound for this record, fleshing it out with small little vocal passages and, of course, gibberish. Show Me Forgiveness, from my interpretation, is Björk apologizing to either herself or her daughter (as implied by the last line, “The girl might live”), for letting her interior voice be drowned out by the exterior; Öll Birtan is a simple buildup to the aforementioned Who Is It, but the best of the bunch are Sonnets/Unrealities XI, the poem it may not always be so; and i say by e. e. cummings over some of the best backing vocals in the album, Vökuró, where Björk sings a traditional Icelandic song in a very intimate and gorgeous moment in the album, and Ancestors, which features some passionate, odd and intriguing growls all throughout it.

It’s remarkable what Björk came up with in this album, the mystical aura surrounding it and forming its lyrics, in particular the verses in Oceania where she takes the role of the Ocean, exploring its perspective of Earth, time and the continents, Pleasure Is All Mine, which describes motherhood and childbirth for a sublime intro, and Submarine, featuring Robert Wyatt, evoking a sense of rebelliousness and urgency. Great album.

FAVORITE TRACKS: Oceania, Sonnets/Unrealities XI, Where Is The Line? Pleasure Is All Mine, Vökuró

LEAST FAVORITE TRACK: Mouth’s Cradle

8.8/10

“When in doubt: give”

Outro

I postponed ths review for like 2 months or something, I don’t even know. Basically, from Debut to Vespertine was probably a one-month span of time, while it took me about double that time to actually write about Medúlla, because of what I think was a depressive episode. In the meantime, I started just reviewing shit on RateYourMusic (my username is fantaguarana, if anyone cares). I thought of stopping, I had this feeling that the whole “writing about everything I listen” thing was really forced and starting to become a chore, but now that I actually got to it, I think I notice how much it helps me organize my thoughts on music, compared to just listening to an album and never really reflecting on what it really means.

I’ll probably stop writing about everything I listen to, and leave this blog for the albums that really change me as a person. Have a good day yall.

#björk #post #debut #medúlla #homogenic #vespertine #art pop #art-pop #pop #review #album #album review

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