#(she says; not even taking the original down)

[ladykailitha]

Paper Hearts Part 7

Hello and welcome to the penultimate chapter. There is literally only one more chapter after this.

Steve enjoys the weekend for a change, and Eddie is sneaky.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

****

Dustin had called to hang out Saturday afternoon and Steve really couldn’t say no to that kid even if he tried. And he had. It never worked. The big eyes with chubby cheeks and gap-toothed smile, Steve would give in every fucking time.

It was annoying.

Of course the kid went on and on about the AV club and D&D and how cool it was going to be to join the D&D club his freshman year.

Steve thought hard on that last one. He wasn’t sure if they accepted freshmen. Or even what the club was called. Dustin couldn’t remember. Only that he had heard some older kids talking about it once while he was at the library.

Steve scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Then how do you know it was even about D&D?”

“Because, Steve,” Dustin said rolling his eyes right back, “they were talking about THaC0.”

Steve tilted his head to the side in confusion. “What’s thayco?”

“‘To Hit Armor Class Zero’, it means what you have to roll to hit a monster or for the monster to hit you,” he explained cheerfully.

“Then why isn’t it pronounced thaycz?”

Dustin reared his head back in disgust. “Because it’s too hard to say?”

Steve looked up with raised eyebrows and then nodded. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

And then the conversation moved on from there.

Steve stayed for dinner as Claudia, like her son, never took no for answer.

As he drove home he thought about his afternoon with Dustin. Yeah, it sucked that he didn’t have people his own age to hang out with these days, he could always count on that little twerp to make him feel better.

When he got home there was a single pink heart stuck to one of his front doors. Steve pulled it off with a smile. It was from Kas again.

-Stevie You’re a great friend. I wish more people knew that. Kas

He slipped it in next to the others in his wallet and then opened the door. He slipped off his shoes and jacket, leaving both by the front door. He thudded up the stairs to his room and tossed his wallet and keys on the small dish he kept on his desk.

It was a deformed ceramic little lily pad with its leaves bent slightly to form the dish with a misshapen frog in the middle. There was a chip on one of the leaves and the frog was missing an eye. It was supposed to be an ashtray for his mom for Mother’s Day. But that was the year she ‘quit’ smoking that year and had thrown it in the trash. That night he had dug it out and hid it way for years until he got his license. His mom never commented on it, so he assumed she didn’t remember what it was originally for.

Like most of his childhood, if he was honest.

He sat down in his chair and looked over at his wallet a moment. He sighed and picked it, opening it to take out the pink hearts.

Steve laid them out on his desk and made a little discovery. When he laid them out in order he received them the paper had gone from really pale pink to a lighter pink. He wondered what that was about.

With a sigh, he decided to go for a run again. To clear his head. Only this time he was going to bring water and properly stretch. His coach had been decidedly unimpressed when he explained why he was so sluggish on Monday.

Secretly Steve was with him on that one. It had been stupid, but his mom yelling at him had set him off and he ended up paying for it.

He had been grateful for Eddie’s rescue. Hell, he had been grateful for Eddie just being around the last few days. He was always hanging out at Steve’s locker between classes or waiting for him by his car after school.

It was... nice.

****

Eddie had successfully delivered the Saturday heart out of sheer dumb luck. He had pulled onto the street when he saw Steve’s BMW pull out of the driveway and turn the other direction further up the street.

Eddie had hurriedly taped the heart to the door and booked it before any of Steve’s neighbors could even peek out of their windows.

What was worse was that he knew he couldn’t capture lightning in a bottle twice. He couldn’t bet on Steve leaving twice. But he didn’t know how to get it to Steve without the gig being up.

He chewed on his nail until he bit the bullet.

He pulled out the White Pages and went looking for the right Harringtons. Sure enough about half way down the list was Harrington, Clint and the right address.

He picked up the phone and called.

“The Harrington residence, this is Steve,” the warm voice greeted. “How can I help you?”

Eddie let out a little snort. “Your parents make you answer the phone like that, Stevie?”

“Eddie?” Steve asked.

“One and the same, darlin’,” he replied. “I got the number from the White Pages if that’s all right?”

“That’s fine!” Steve hurried to reassure. “I’m glad you called!”

Eddie preened in the comfort of his kitchen where only Wayne would laugh at him and considering the man was sleeping because he worked the night shift, couldn’t.

“Hey, did you want to hang out today?”

There was silence on the line for a beat or two. Long enough that Eddie feared the line had gone dead.

“I–I’d like that,” Steve finally stammered out. “Do you want to hang out at my place or yours?”

Eddie hummed like he was thinking about it, but secretly he was doing a happy dance. “Is yours okay? My uncle Wayne is sleeping right now because he has to work.”

“Are you going to feel comfortable coming over in your van?” Steve asked, a little hesitant and shy.

Eddie frowned for a moment before he realized what Steve meant. “I’m borrowing Wayne’s truck, it’s newer and in better condition. As long as I get back before he goes into work, I’ll be fine.”

“Yeah,” Steve said. “Come on over whenever you want. I’ll be here all day.”

Eddie fist pumped. Seriously the D&D gods must really be in favor of him hanging out with Steve if everything kept lining up so fucking perfectly.

“I’ll be there in an hour.”

They said their goodbyes and Eddie hung up. He went into the front of the trailer and gently shook Wayne awake.

Wayne rubbed his eye a moment. “You heading out?”

He nodded. “I’m taking your truck, but I’ll be back before you have to go.”

Wayne waved him off. “Go have fun. I’ll just borrow your van. It won’t kill me if I take it this once.”

Eddie kissed his forehead and told him he was the best. Wayne buried under covers grumbling about having his image ruined, to Eddie’s cackling glee.

****

Wayne’s truck was a bronze 1973 Ford F150 with a white camper shell. It was hideous as fuck, but respectable and serviceable and the damn thing ran like a dream. Best part was that it wouldn’t stick out in neighborhood like Steve’s.

Eddie pulled up to the curb and parked, hopping out of the truck. He locked it up tight and came up to the door.

He stuck the little heart on the door and then knocked. While he waited he pulled the paper off the door.

Steve threw open the door and smiled. Then he looked down at the heart in Eddie’s hand, eyes wide.

“I found it on your door just now,” Eddie replied with a grin. “Good thing I came over, huh? Otherwise it might have been hanging there for awhile and you would have never have known.”

Steve blinked and then his smile grew. “Yeah, triple bonus because it’s supposed to rain tonight.”

Eddie beamed at him and followed him inside.

“My parents are gone until the weekend so make yourself at home,” Steve said, indicating the room to his right.

Eddie frowned and tilted his head to the side. “Isn’t already the weekend?”

He flopped on the large beige sofa and looked up at Steve expectantly. Steve padded over to sit down next to him.

“My dad is taking my mom to Paris for Valentine’s day so they won’t be home until late Friday early Saturday if they come home at all.”

“That sucks, man.”

Steve shrugged. He plucked the heart from Eddie’s grasp.

“Oh, it’s another Kas one,” he said with a soft smile. “These aren’t as awkward as the others I’ve gotten.”

Eddie huffed a laugh. “You get some pretty awkward hearts there, Stevie?”

“These are high school students and very few of them have any kind of social skill,” he said with a snort. “They’re almost all awkward as fuck, dude.”

“You get any red hearts?” Eddie asked, far more curious than sane.

Steve shook his head. “They aren’t handing those out until Thursday. And to be honest, I’m not expecting any.”

Eddie tilted his head to the side. “You don’t think that the female masses at our great school aren’t going to give Steve Harrington a single red heart? There must be some that see past the bullshit social mores.”

He just shrugged. He set the heart down on the coffee table and then picked up Eddie’s hand. It took every ounce of will power that Eddie had not to read into that.

“I always wondered about this ring,” he said softly. “It’s so unlike the other rings you have. It isn’t big or flashy, it’s not over the top. The others are a pig, a skull, and a coffin but this is just a simple gemstone. So beautiful.”

Christ! If Eddie had been a cartoon steam would have been coming out of his ears.

“It was my mama’s,” he said just as soft. “My Uncle Wayne hid from my dad so he couldn’t sell it for drugs. He gave it to me for my eighteenth birthday. It was supposed to be a graduation present.”

“It’s exquisite, Eds,” Steve breathed. “My mom has a lot of jewelry, but nothing like this. It’s all over the top and gaudy. I’m glad your uncle was able to keep it safe for you.”

If Eddie could have turned any redder, he’d be a tomato. “Thanks.”

They were silent for a moment and then Steve cleared his throat and sat against the arm of the sofa. Still nearby by but no longer pressed to Eddie’s side. His poor frazzled brain wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

“We could watch movies,” Steve suggested. “Or I’ve got some board games around here somewhere.”

Eddie straightened up. “I’ll tell you what. I pick the movie and you pick the game and we can do both at the same time.”

Steve brightened. “I like that idea. Pick one you’ve seen so we don’t have to pay attention to it if we don’t want to and I’ll grab the game.”

Eddie agreed and wandered over to the cabinet that held the Harrington family VHS tapes. They had a lot of sports movies and family friendly stuff. A bit of Disney but nothing since Steve turned twelve. A couple of westerns, too.

He picked a western that he could tolerate and slipped into in the player. He turned on the TV and let it play through the trailers at the beginning.

Steve came out with Life. “Whatcha pick?”

Eddie told him as they both set up the game. Steve nodded approvingly. Westerns weren’t his thing either, but “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly” had a good plot.

Eddie won. Steve kept landing on all the children places and had to grab a second car just to hold all of them.

Steve laughed. “Now there’s the dream, a good paying job, six kids, and Winnebago.”

“No mention of a wife there, Stevie,” Eddie said, nudging his shoulder with his own.

“I’m waiting to see if my partner is male or female,” Steve said with a shrug.

Eddie put the now boxed up game on the coffee table and sat back up on the sofa. “I know I’m shit at school, but I’m pretty sure two dudes can’t make babies.”

“I’d adopt all the ones like me,” Steve said. “The ones with shit parents who only care about how a child makes them look good and not about raising someone with love.”

“Sounds good, Stevie.”

Soon it as time for Eddie to leave and Steve went back to put the game away. When he picked up the box, the little pink heart fluttered to the ground.

-Stevie Watching you make the best of out shit situation, inspires me to be a better person. Kas

Steve smiled down at the paper with a wistful sigh. He looked up out the window to where Eddie was pulling out of his driveway.

And not for the first time he wished it was Eddie giving him the Kas hearts.

****

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#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #post season 2

[marvel-snape-writes]

just an idea - a situation where you have never referred to severus by name (only professor snape), and him going feral for you when you do say it in a one on one setting, if you catch my vibe 🙈

Watch Your Mouth

Snape x original female character

18+ smuuuuuuuutty

3.7+ words

Thank you to whoever requested this, I hope you enjoy it! 🫶

The marking of his students’ papers was growing monotonous and never-ending for the Potion’s Master. Even now cursing himself for the way he would always insist on himself to go through each and every paragraph of potion ingredients with a fine tooth comb. He muttered to himself as his eyes skimmed the text, then his eyebrow arched as he found himself impressed with a particular piece of work. He completed his first pile of books and then moved onto the next, huffing as he pushed one pile away and brought one closer.

A knock sounded upon his classroom door whilst he opened the first student’s book and his eyes briefly glanced over to it.

If they really want me, they’ll knock again, he thought to himself.

They did.

He exhaled slowly, almost irritably, and looked up properly this time, speaking loud enough so that his voice would carry to the door, “Come in,” He then mumbled under his breath, “If you really must.”

“Sorry to disturb you, Professor,” The voice spoke as a tall, dark haired woman entered the room without a moment of hesitation, “Oh, marking in your dinner hour?”

“My students appear to apply fifty fifty to either of the following; they simply lack common sense and therefore I need to doublecheck their pathetic attempts at stringing a sentence together or they host a little too much knowledge in that their writings are so… pointlessly long when they really could have summed it up in one or two paragraphs,” Snape spoke in a very matter-of-fact tone, “Either way meaning that I have to spend endless hours doing this.” He gestured toward the several piles of student books.

“And I assume your face tells them all that without you having to open your mouth.” She bit her lip to hide a grin.

Snape remained silent, jotting down something with his quill as he glanced back and forth over the written text in front of him.

“Nice candles in this dark dungeon, Professor,” She commented as she glanced around at the many lit candles scattered about the room, “Have you got enough of them?”

“They are to ward off unwanted visitors.” Severus replied bluntly.

“Oh, you don't need candles to do that.” She mumbled under her breath, her eyes still looking around the room.

“Was there something you needed from me, Miss Eleanor, or have you just come here to simply distract me from my work?” Snape asked in a flat tone, growing irritated by watching Eleanor wandering around his dungeon classroom.

“I just thought I'd drop by…” She was now behind him, “Since you have barely acknowledged my existence since… that night.”

“Forgive me if I have been a little invested in finding out exactly what level my fifth years are at prior to them taking their O.W.L.s.” He fought not to break character, though her words did cause a slight stir in him.

“You say the word and I will leave you be,” She placed a hand on his shoulder, “Relax, Professor.” She said with a gentle squeeze over his cloak, knowing full well he was the last person to relax in a situation like this, especially not on command.

Snape huffed quietly under his breath and pushed the books to one side, staying quiet for a few long moments until he felt Eleanor’s hand leave his shoulder, “Alright!” He spoke rather louder than intended, “Alright, I am sure this marking can… wait.” He turned his head to look up at her stood at the side of him.

“Wait for what?” She played dumb.

“What ever it is that you came here for.” He spoke in an oddly timid tone, almost as if there was a hint of fear within it.

“And what do you think I came here for?” She bit her lip, now standing with her hands on her hips.

“Do not play games with me,” Snape warned dominantly as he stood up, facing her, “I cannot stress how much I urge you to not-”

“Not play games with Professor Snape, hm?” She finished his sentence for him, her head now tilted upward as he towered over her.

“Let… me… finish,” He emphasised each word more than the last, gritting his teeth.

“Oh, I know how you like to finish, Professor…” Her lips curled into a smirk, “In my mouth.”

Snape’s throat suddenly became very dry and he hoped his face didn't look as warm as it felt. His hands both balled into fists and he struggled with how to respond, blinking hard as his mind helplessly transported itself back to that night. When he dared to look at her again, this wasn't helped by her saying,

“I can still feel the marks of your fingers on the back of my neck…” As she reached over one of her shoulders and lightly rubbed her fingertips back and forth over the red raised skin on her neck that his frantic fingers had caused whilst trying to hold her head in place that night.

“I… did not…” He cleared his throat sheepishly, trying to push down the knowing that her words’ effect would very soon show itself in his trousers, “D-Did not invite you in here to… to make mockery of me… in my own classroom…” It was as if trying to string a sentence together was suddenly a huge task.

“And, yet, you do not ask me to leave… Severus.” She spoke in a tauntingly seductive tone.

Though the way she had spoken would've made anything sound appealing, it was her calling him by his name that caught him off guard. Not once had she ever addressed him as anything other than ‘Professor Snape’ or just simply ‘Professor’, not even during that night. He didn't know if it was the shock of her calling him by his name and the knowing that she would be slightly afraid of how he would react to not being addressed by his usual title, or whether it was the intimacy of her now speaking to him on first name basis — something only those who he really let in would do in confidence.

His lips were still parted in brief shock as their eyes met again and he felt his heartbeat throb in his throat, urging him to respond to her new daring confidence of calling him by his name for the first time. He raised one of his large hands and cupped her cheek in it, both of them now as eager as each other for their lips to be pressed together.

“Do not think I forget how you pleaded,” She breathed against his lips, now standing on her tiptoes and placing her hands against his chest to secure herself in order to deliver a more firm kiss to his lips, “How you begged, Severus.”

“Watch your mouth.” Severus snarled against her lips, kissing her harder.

“What, watch my mouth now?” She asked in between kisses, “Or when it's filled with your cock?”

Severus felt a shiver down his spine and into the pit of his stomach. His cock jolted in his trousers, earning a shaky breath from his lips. Both of their eyes opened briefly, but the look on Severus’ face took Eleanor’s breath from her completely; she had never seen such want mixed with such a furious expression. Before she even had chance to question what was on his mind, it was soon answered for her when his lips crashed back down on hers at the same time his hands gripped her hips.

“Oh…” She gasped but it was barely audible, hearing a load of clattering on the floor whilst eagerly kissing him back and then quite literally allowing him to sweep her off her feet and place her on his desk.

Once upon it, arms snaked around his neck, it became rather apparent that he had swept all of his marked and unmarked books to the floor in one desperate motion. His hands switched to her thighs and he lifted them up, gesturing for her to hook them around his waist as they devoured one another’s lips.

“Mm.. are you sure you don’t want me on my knees again, Severus?” She spoke quickly in between kisses, her fingers tangled in his black hair whilst his were frantically trying to grab at the buttons of his trousers.

“No,” He answered almost immediately, popping the button and pulling down the zipper of his trousers desperately and inhaling shakily against her lips, “I’m going to fuck- you- senseless,” He emphasised each word with a harder kiss to her lips each time and then speaking lowly against them, “I suppose you’ve earned it.”

“Oh, earned it, have I?” Eleanor grinned, lightly grazing her fingernails against the nape of his neck and kissing him with parted lips as he began to whimper into her mouth, “Is this what a girl has to do to ‘earn’ Severus Snape’s cock?” She dug her nails in a little harder, “Just suck him off a few times?”

“That’s certainly a good start, Princess.” Severus growled against her lips, reaching under the hem of her skirt and tearing her underwear down her legs as their tongues tangled.

“I’m no fucking Princess, Severus.” Eleanor tugged at his bottom lip and dipped her hands into the front of his open trousers, repeatedly caressing her fingertips back and forth over his hardened length straining against the material of his boxers.

Severus hissed from the feeling and narrowed his eyebrows, already feeling precum seeping into the material as Eleanor practically jerked him off through them with the pressure she was now applying with her palm. If this had been the first time they had ever gotten intimate with each other, that would have been enough to get him off completely, and he hated that she was aware of that, too. Now he had built somewhat of a resilience to her touch, mainly her lips, causing him to last more than all of three pathetic seconds. Still, he didn't quite fancy his chances with the aroused state she had managed to get him in, in impressive timing.

“Enough.” He spoke lowly, pushing his own hand now between her legs, “In my classroom, you are whatever I say you are.”

Eleanor’s hand returned to her side and her legs parted more the higher his hand traveled, eventually gasping when she felt his fingertips lightly brush against her. She instinctively leaned up to press another kiss to his lips, purring against them as he continued to circle his fingertips.

“That’s right…” He whispered against her lips, “Just because I haven’t fucked you yet, doesn't mean this doesn't belong to me.”

“Fuck… me, Severus.” She gasped shakily, wrapping her legs around him and trying to bring him closer with her heels against his bottom. One of his fingers pushed inside her and curled each time she pleaded for him, making him smirk against her lips when she began to moan.

Without barely a second thought, he removed his hand completely and pushed her legs further apart, fumbling in the crotch of his underwear before thrusting himself forward in one, heavy motion. Eleanor gasped in pleasure and Severus gritted his teeth, exhaling shakily as he repositioned his hands on her thighs. Their eyes met for a brief moment before their lips smacked back together, desperately kissing one another as his desk began to move beneath them from his movements.

“Fuck, how do you feel even bigger than you do in my mouth…” She breathed against his lips, tangling her fingers in his hair.

Severus didn't answer. Instead, he bit down on her bottom lip harshly and earned a small squeal, speeding up his thrusts as he gripped onto her thighs harder. He pulled her a little further off the edge of the desk and moaned against her lips from the feeling of her legs tightening around him.

“Wh… where are we going?!” She gasped when she felt Severus lift her, now holding her around him as he spun them both around, “What’s this, a change of scenery from your desk to your board?” She asked through a muffled laugh as her back thudded against the display board fixed to the wall at the side of his desk.

“If you’re not a Princess, then don't expect to be fucking treat like one.” He grunted, pinning her against the board with his hips as his arms secured themselves around her.

“Mm.. yes, Professor.” Eleanor grinned and snaked her arms around his neck.

Her lips gradually parted as Severus’ relentless hips continued to slam upward against hers, her head falling slightly and her lips landing upon his neck. She suckled on the skin briefly before breaking the contact to gasp in pleasure from the impressive motions of Severus’ somewhat questionably inexperienced hips.

“Christ, if I’d have known you’d be this good to fuck, I'd have done it weeks ago…” Severus grumbled, feeling his cock pulsating in delight with each movement.

“Too much time spent with your cock in my mouth, hm?” She teased him, lifting her head so she could kiss his lips.

“I…” Severus swallowed hard, the images of her knelt in front of him now flooding his brain.

“This mouth?” She kissed him again, “How does it feel to kiss the mouth that has contained your cock so many times, hm?”

“Sh—Shut up.” He grunted.

“Do my lips taste of—”

“I said…” Severus butted in, inhaling sharply though clenched teeth. Though, he did think about it, only for a short while before their lips were pressed against one another again, “Shut. Up.”

Eleanor began to rock her hips down against his, creating a slight banging noise against the wall as the board behind her began to hit against it with each movement. The beads of sweat began to gather upon Severus’ forehead as they continued to kiss and moan in sync, surprising Eleanor at how quickly her orgasm began to approach. Unaware of how close Severus was, she squeezed her legs around his waist, digging her heels into his bottom and urging for him to keep going, as if her world would stop if he did.

“O-Oh, Prof…” Her eyes rolled back in pleasure as she squeezed them shut, “Severus!” She half cried out in pleasure as her climax fell victim to his thrusts before he clasped a hand across her mouth in an attempt to quieten her, “Sev, Sev, Sev…”

“Mm… yes?” He asked wearily, pressing their lips together but growing dizzy from his own orgasm fast approaching and Eleanor continuing to address and moan at him by his first name certainly not helping.

“Do you enjoy the taste of your own cock against my lips?” She asked, smirking tauntingly against his lips.

Severus broke the kiss immediately and pulled back, now pressing his lips so tightly together that they turned white. He stopped moving his hips, careless of whether he was cutting the ride of her orgasm short, and unhooked her legs from around his waist, making her feet land back on the floor.

“On your knees,” He glared darkly, “Now.”

“Severus…” Eleanor inhaled shakily, her eyes daring to look up into his black ones.

“Knees.” He terrifyingly emphasised it this time, grumbling under his breath, “I want to cum.”

Eleanor nodded quickly and began to kneel in front of him, almost afraid that she would reach her orgasm again just from the way he was speaking to her. She fluttered her eyelashes innocently and parted her lips, flattening her tongue for him as their eyes met. Severus stepped closer to her and cleared his throat, glancing down at his angrily red length still glistening with the remanence of Eleanor’s orgasm, also a droplet of precum threatening to drip from the tip and land upon her tongue.

“Good girl,” Severus exhaled deeply once Eleanor had leaned forward to push the tip of his cock into her mouth, gently suckling on the head tenderly whilst making sure to massage her tongue against the underside.

“Mm, mm…” She made soft noises each time more pushed into her mouth, feeling his hands beginning to entangle themselves in her hair.

Severus’ head gradually tilted back more and more as his length slipped further into her mouth and he gripped her hair slightly tighter when the tip of his length touched the back of her throat. Eleanor raised one of her hands and wrapped it around the base of his cock, starting to bob her head back and forth over him and following the movements of her head with her fist.

“Now…” Severus exhaled shakily, trying to talk through the moan taunting his lips, “I ask you a similar question, you little brat…” He felt his breath hitch from her actions, “Do you enjoy the taste of my cock with you splattered all over it?”

Before Eleanor even had a chance to reply, he swatted her hand away from him and firmed his grip on her head. Eleanor gazed up at him with a willing expression and tightened her lips around him, the head of his length now lingering in her mouth as she teasingly traced the tip of her tongue back and forth over the leaking slit. That bolt of pleasure was enough for Severus to begin thrusting himself back and forth into her mouth, throwing his head back with painfully quiet shouts of bliss; afraid he would bring too much attention to his classroom if he did so, but unsure how long he could keep himself quiet. One of his hands slipped to the back of her neck and his fingertips began to re-raise the reddened lines on the back of her neck again.

“Fuck, fucking… fuck,” He grunted, his hair covering his face now as it whipped in time with his thrusts, “Agh!”

Eleanor’s eyes began to water from the force of his hips and the constant bounce of the tip against the back of her throat each time. Thankfully, she was used to his liking of her mouth, so his size wasn't that much of a surprise.

His hands began to tremble, hers now pressed against his thighs to keep herself still, and he felt the all-too-familiar warmth in his stomach rapidly begin to rise. His moans caught in his throat and he suddenly stopped his hips, leaving only the head of his cock in her mouth again and weakly gesturing down to her;

“Fu… fucking make me cum…” He could barely speak, his toes already curling in his shoes in anticipation.

Eleanor immediately obeyed his command as if it was second nature at this point and began to suck on the head whilst her hand frantically pumped up and down his entire length. It wasn't long before his cries of, “Oh, oh, oh-!” quickly developed into sticky warmth landing on her now flat tongue. She gazed up at him with heavy eyes and watched as his face screwed up in pleasure, hands shaking madly in her hair as he struggled to grip onto anything from the ecstasy now coursing through him.

“E-Eleanor, ugh!” He whimpered, now stumbling back slightly and catching himself with his hands weakly gripping the edge of his desk.

“Mmmh…” Eleanor gradually slowed down the movements of her fist but continued to wiggle her tongue against the sensitive ridge, making him twitch madly from the sensitivity of it.

“I-If I open my eyes and find that you have not had the decency to swallow what you caused, I shall have to put a stop to these… encounters.” He spoke still out of breath, leaning back against the desk as his heavy eyes opened.

He was met with the sight of Eleanor still on her knees and licking her lips before they settled into a proud grin, their eyes meeting. The sight alone sent a shiver down Severus’ spine, and he feared his cock would never soften if that image was forever in his mind.

“I hope this has allowed the encounters to continue, then.” She bit her lip, getting to her feet.

“It does make my dinner hour go rather quickly, and my students’ markings may suffer, but…” He sighed softly, watching as she stood.

Eleanor began to nonchalantly tuck him back into his underwear and fasten up his trousers, arching a brow as she looked up at him again, “But?”

“I suppose I can make an acceptation for something like this to take place again.” He replied in a calm tone, trying to ignore the feeling of her hands upon him still and trying to distract himself by looking at the time, “But, I am afraid I am going to have to ask yourself to leave my classroom… for now, at least.”

“Don’t strain yourself, Professor…” Eleanor jokingly rolled her eyes and fixed her dress properly, walking over to the door, “It is not good for a man of your age.” She giggled.

“Actually…” Severus spoke, his footsteps evidently close behind her and making her silently fear a loud verbal repercussion of her daring words. She stopped at the door and turned around to face him, raising her eyebrows, “Drop ‘Professor’. I liked it when you called me ‘Severus’.” He admitted.

“Oh?” Eleanor smirked, “I couldn't tell.” She spoke sarcastically.

“I would tell you to watch your mouth, Miss Eleanor, but I am actually rather fond of doing that myself.” He swallowed hard, his lip twitching.

“Mm…” She grinned, placing her hand on the door handle, “Have a good rest of your day.”

“And you, too.” Severus nodded.

“In fact, one more thing…” Eleanor quickly turned around and bent down, picking up the torn underwear that had been carelessly tossed to the floor from before and then standing up straight again. Severus’ eyes narrowed and his breathing suddenly quivered when he felt her finger push into the waistband of his trousers, then underwear, pulling it away from his skin slightly and tucking her underwear into the front of them, “This way, I can always be wrapped around your cock… Severus.” She spoke in a seductively smooth tone, quickly pecking his lips.

Severus barely had time to take a breath before she had left his classroom, let alone form a response. Instead, he watched her leave from the doorway; once again on his own, once again counting down the seconds until their next encounter, and once again visibly aroused.

---

Thank you for reading! ♥️

Tags: 🫶

@acupnoodle @megladon045 @overgrownbat @hamiltonstann @icytrickster17 @honeyshampoo @bibliosophie @snifellus @liv2post @eyesinmymindinmay @pinterestwhore145 @dracolilhoe @anxietydevelopement @nidamae-approvedhpfanfics @hauntinq-6 @dontrunannabelle @callm3c0nfus3d @slytherinqueen4life @ilovesevsnape @wh0reforthemarauders @sorryimdyingrn @nooneeveryonenoone @mrs-snape5984 @vulnus-sanare @missgurlthang @thesecretsofseverussnape @evil-eyebrow @peppiloll @hazedwords @darlingvica @indigosparkle444 @sevprince-91 @dreamshopesfantasies @ficswjackson @secretpandaconnoisseur @dark-t1des @nyx-greenwood99 @severinaprince @serpentsbone @sil-writes-fiction-too @dark-tides-dungeon @marisimps @caprica99 @hisleastfavbrit

#snape smut #severus snape fanfiction #snape fic #snape fanfiction #snape love #professor snape #snape #severus snape #pro snape #snapedom #snape fandom #snape community #snape x oc #severus snape fluff #severus x oc #pro severus #severus snape fandom #severus snape fic #severus snape smut #alan rickman #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fandom #harry potter #harry potter smut #half blood prince #slytherin

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

sorry if something sounds strange. English is not my first language

I don't know if your asks are open, so please do it whenever you feel like it. How would the Tokrev boys react to a s/o who fights dirty? She is not necessarily an aggressive person, but once involved she sees no reason to fight with honor. Her favorite moves are kicking her opponent in the balls, spitting in their eyes or hitting their Adam's apple.

Yeah that's fine! I was kinda imagining their partner being in the middle of fighting a group of guys when they just so happen to stumble upon the fight!

Takemichi- He is very shocked, just stands there with his mouth wide open as he watches you. He didn't even realise you could fight, let alone this!

Mikey- Watches you with an amused look. He was originally going to jump in but seeing how you're handling it, he'd prefer to observe. Thinks it's pretty cool of you even if the moves are a bit dirty.

Draken- Brain short-circuits, he's torn between thinking you shouldn't fight that dirty and being impressed with you. 

Baji- Let's out a whistle of approval before jumping in and fighting them too. He loves that you fight dirty! These guys probably deserve it anyway and now the two of you can fight together!

Chifuyu- Stands there in awe of you, he thinks you're awesome! Praises you a lot after, saying how cool it is that you can do all that and took those guys down.

Mitsuya- He's more worried then anything else, not about the guys though. You seem to be doing a good job physically in the fight but wants to know why you're fighting and if you're okay. Will step in to pull you off them.

Hakkai- His soul leaves his body for a moment as he mutters "what the hell" Watches you attentively and thinks it's pretty cool of you.

Pah- Doesn't care that you're fighting dirty, he's more worried about you fighting at all. Joins the fight to help you.

Peh- Straight up cheers you on, thinks this is the best thing he's ever seen.

Smiley- Oh he's super into this, finds himself falling in love with you even more as he joins in, wanting to team up with you.

Angry- Doesn't think you should be fighting like that, he tries to stop you and later offers to teach you a more fair way of fighting. 

Mucho- Shrugs, he doesn't care at all if you want to fight dirty against these guys. Closely watches you though in case he needs to help you out.

Sanzu- Smiles, generally likes this and your abilities. Get's his phone out and records you so he can watch it back later. He wants to see more of you fighting.

Kisaki- Frowns, he has no issue with the dirty fighting but he doesn't think you should be fighting at all. He has people who can do that for you.

Hanma- Happily laughs at you, this is amazing! Joins in and flirts with you the entire time.

Kazutora- Doesn't hesitate to step into the fight, he's fine with you fighting dirty but wants to support you and make sure you don't get hurt.

Koko- Loudly gasps and immediately comes over to try and help you. He's supposed to protect you right? So he doesn't appreciate you having to do this, fusses a lot over you trying to make sure you're ok.

Inui- Lifts an eyebrow at you as he calmly watches, you look like you're doing fine. He's actually impressed by you and thinks it's smart that you're fighting dirty.

Taiju- Laughs when he sees it, wants to join in too so helps you out a bit. He's just so amused by this. 

Izana- "oh?" He's impressed but also a bit surprised, wants to know why you never told him about these abilities before. Also wants to see more, takes you out somewhere special as a reward after. 

Kakucho- Eyes widen as he sees you and quickly rushes in to help. Fully supports you fighting dirty or doing whatever you need to for you to come out of a fight safely. 

Rindou- Stares for a moment before getting involved, he actually has a bit of a dilemma because he thinks it's pretty cool of you and wants to watch but also wants to try and protect you.

Ran- "huh?" Takes him a moment to fully understand what's going on but quickly smiles when he does. Happily helps you out while praising you.

Shion- Cheers when he first notices you, picks up one of the barely conscious guys and turns his head towards where you're still fighting, telling him to never mess with what's his again.

Mochi- Charges straight into the fight, but still appreciates how well you've done. He would prefer a clean fight though and decides to show you some moves later.

South- Loudly laughs, practically singing your praises and asking the guys if they regret it as he takes out the last of them for you. 

Wakasa- Raises an eyebrow at your "techniques" but he's ultimately impressed, didn't know you could do that and now he wonders if you have any other hidden talents. 

Benkei- Cheers you on a bit, encouraging you as he also helps out. Believes your safety is more important then fighting fairly (you get a pass)

Shinichiro- Immediately rushes into the fight to try and break it up. He's determined to not let you get hurt and probably didn't even notice how you were fighting before he rushed in.

#tokyo revengers #tokrev #tokyo rev

[alittlebitofloveliness]

Tim and Sylvia Friendship Headcanons

-They both met at Buck’s when they were ten years old, Tim having just started dealing and Sylvia flirting with the old drunks at the bar so she could pickpocket them. Tim noticed how much money she was getting and tried to shake her down for it but when he flipped open his switch she just laughed at him and pulled out one of her own. They’ve been best friends ever since, even though it took ages for Tim to admit it

-Sylvia is the only person who can call him ‘Timmy’ without getting slugged and it’s mostly because she wore him down.

-Sylvia is a con artist extraordinaire and Tim’s a gang leader and somehow they know everything and nothing about each other at the same time

-Almost everyone in Tulsa thinks they’re an item/have hooked up at least once but their relationship has only ever been 100% platonic. Even if Tim wasn’t gay and Sylvia was capable of love they both just couldn’t ever look at each other that way

-Tim thought HE had a good poker face but his is nothing compared to Sylvia’s. The only thoughts or feelings people can read from Sylvia are the ones she wants them to 

-They both have a radar for when Curly and/or Angela are about to get into trouble even though Sylvia is better at dealing with problems AFTER they arise whereas Tim is all about stopping them from happening in the first place

-Sylvia will occasionally disappear for a few days or a week and Tim never asks where she’s gone, but once she was gone for nearly two months and when she showed back up (twenty pounds lighter and with a newly stitched stab wound) he almost cried- he didn’t, but he did hug her and she actually let him

-Sylvia has been locked up almost as many times as Tim has, and they have a joking competition where they keep track. Whoever has the most tally marks each new years owes the other a pack of cigarettes. Tim had the title for three years in a row before Sylvia beat him and he was genuinely kind of upset about it (mostly because she kept making smart remarks about him becoming a ‘model citizen’ and he has a reputation to keep)

-Curly got the idea to play chicken with Ponyboy from Sylvia because he overheard her make an offhand comment about she and her cousins used to do it

-Sylvia originally went on a date with Dallas Winston because she knew it would piss of Tim, and then kept going out with him because of curiosity (y’know that meme that’s like ‘i wanna study you in a lab but also share fries with you’- that’s how Sylvia views Dally)

-Tim also warned Dally he had no idea what he was getting into when he asked Sylvia out but he obviously didn’t listen 

-we all know Dally & Sylvia we’re a toxic ass couple, and I think a huge contributing factor is that Sylvia played dumb but she was actually way smarter than Dally ever gave her credit for so every time he thought he had her figured out, she’d do something or say something that would shake up how he saw her and it made him feel stupid (which we all know he hated) but also made him more desperate to figure her out 

-Sylvia thinks the Curtis brothers are strange and avoids them as much as possible because they’re genuinely upstanding guys and she’s not used to people who aren’t just out for themselves

-Sylvia lives in six inch stilettos and they make her the same height as Tim (Sylvia is already tall for a girl) and it annoys him to no end

-Sylvia and Steve absolutely loathe each other but because they’re both friends with Angela they try to be civil when she’s around. Tim finds Sylvia’s ire at the guy endlessly funny

-Sylvia was the first person to find out about Tim being gay. He was terrified but she just rolled her eyes and told him to hide his magazines better 

-Tim is the only person who knows anything about Sylvia’s parents that isn’t rumour based speculation, and he will take those secrets to his grave

-Sylvia was originally HORRIFIED when she realised Tim had a thing for Darry Curtis because she does NOT trust that guy he is too nice to not be hiding some dark secret. It’s the only time Tim didn’t at least take her advice into consideration (and Sylvia was eventually forced to grudgingly admit she was wrong about this one)

-Sylvia is a better marksman than Tim, but Tim is more patient than Sylvia, so when they go hunting Tim bags more animals, but when they’re target shooting Sylvia always has a better score

#the outsiders #tim shepard #sylvia the outsiders #dallas winston #darry curtis #angela shepard #steve randle #curly shepard #ponyboy curtis

[shatcey]

I've become an animal (Ellis)

Ellis Elbert

I'm not a native speaker of either English or Japanese. So there may most likely be errors in my translations. I use autotranslation and rewrite the text to a readable state. Some phrases are not clear to begin with, and I use my gut feeling and some experience of reading such poorly translated texts that have taught me to see meaning in them. My summaries are always full of my comments and jokes. If you prefer a clean translation, then you definitely won't like it.

Hmmm… Not bad. I have to put that on my main page.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Where were many onomatopoeic sounds that varied greatly in shape and duration depending on what Kate was "saying", I will stick to the original as much as possible. I haven't used it here often, but I'm warning you just in case.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kate woke up and realized that something was wrong. She looked in the mirror, slowly processing what she saw.

She remembered how the day before they went on a date with Ellis and she saw a black cat.

Ellis immediately asked if she interested, and she replied that she wanted to pet her and was worried if she was hungry.

Don't worry, girl, Alfons feeds them… She's fine.

So… back to the present.

She finally accepts the fact that she is a kitten and runs to Ellis. But she stopped worriedly in front of his door not knowing what to do.

Suddenly the door opens and Ellis kicks the poor kid. Ouch! He immediately apologizes and notices that she seems to be in pain.

I do not think so… But I have no choice but to agree when you smile like that…

Roger examined her and found only a bruise, but put a bandage on just in case… And recommended complete rest. As Ellis likes, she is completely under his care. But suddenly Roger heard something...

NO! Don't leave me with him...

Thank you, thank you, thank you... I'll kiss you later.

Jude is clearly not happy with this addition to their team.

Initially, it was an even more colorful description, but I didn't figure out how to make it sound normal. So I shortened it to this.

I can almost hear him saying: "What is… THAT?" pointing an accusing finger at the cat. Hah…

Jude listens to Ellis's explanation and gives them time to eat. So Ellis feeds the cat milk, puts it in his pocket, and they all go to work. I wonder which pocket? I only see them on his pants… no… I don't wanna think about it… Damn it! I cannot stop thinking about it!

This was another person who decided that he might NOT return the money to Jude in time. Why are they so stupid? They know about his reputation, but they keep doing it…

As usual, Ellis and Jude are playing good and bad cops. But… suddenly, the nobleman noticed the kitten and was very scared. He's allergic. So in order to save his life (or pride), he immediately returns the money.

Outside, Jude is thinking out loud, looking at the cat.

I'm sure he figured out… He's too smart not to notice…

And after that, he gives Ellis the day off, and they return to the castle. Ellis went all over the rooms and couldn't find Kate anywhere. He became restless, so Kate, in the form of a cat, tried to calm him down by asking him to pet her. Ellis remarks that she behaves exactly like Kate.

Premium ending

Somewhere on the way home, Ellis bought everything he needed to take care of the cat. And decided to comb her fur, of course, for Kate's sake.

They're both having a great time. But Kate suddenly thinks about what would happen to Ellis if "she" continued to be missing, and somehow… she kisses him…

Ellis is in complete shock

He recovered from the shock and gave her his jacket. He remembered all the awkward details of what she had been doing all day… And suddenly Roger knocked on the door, saving her.

But Ellis wouldn't let him. When Kate asked him why. He said he didn't want Roger examined her entire body… So the fact that she turns into a cat and back should remain a secret between them.

And after that, Ellis starts checking if Kate is human by kissing her…

So...

I didn't buy the epilogue. I'm already a little burned out of Ellis (I'm so fickle). I'll probably buy Elbert's epilogue though. His event made a greater impression on me. NOT because of Alfons! Okay, partly because of Alfons. But the event is really interesting for a completely different reason.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

🔝 Start page 🔝

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#cybird ikemen #cybird #ikemen series #ikemen games #ikemen villians #ikemen villains #ikevil #ellis twilight #ikemen villains ellis #ikemen ellis #ikevil ellis #ikemen villains roger #roger barel #ikemen roger #jude jazza #ikemen villians jude #ikemen jude #ikevil jude #ikemen event

[pinkeoni]

Bruh. The episode name is "the vanishing of holly wheeler". Not only did they copy Will's episode name and gave it to Holly but they also are intending to give the kidnapping plotline to her character. And we know that should follow up by the other wheelers trying to save her. It is basically making the wheelers byers.

First of all, that list of episode titles come from an unofficial source. Could be real, could be fake. And the name of the title was "The Vanishing of *BLANK* Wheeler with no real confirmation as to the number of letters in the first name since the leak was given verbally, which was then relayed over the internet with "*****" making people believe that it could be Holly.

Second of all, rehashing season one with Holly instead of Will doesn't make any sense and likely improbable and here's why:

I don't see the narrative reason to have Holly go missing. Sure, it could still happen, but I wouldn't see the necessity for it.

The purpose of Will going missing in season 1 was to act as an inciting incident to get all of the other characters involved. The story was driven by Will's disappearance, thus why it was one of the first things we saw happen in the show and why it was deserving of the first episode title.

What would be the purpose of Holly going missing in season 5? Everything has already been set up at the end of season 4. The Upside Down is coming into Hawkins and Vecna has plans to basically take over the world. Max is in a coma and Will can still feel Vecna's left nut. That's reason enough to get the characters involved. We don't need Holly to go missing for the characters to want to take action. Also, if you wanted to get Karen and Ted involved, they already have their two other children involved with the supernatural, so they can get into it that way tangentially.

I think that people are overestimating the reasoning for wanting to replace Holly with an older and more experienced actress, I don't necessarily believe that this recast means that something terrible will happen to her, I just think she was replaced because there is a time skip and Holly is going to need to say more lines than "Mommy, it's snowing!" The original twins cast to play Holly were cast as toddlers, and Nell has more experience actually performing and saying lines. But I don't think that the Duffers are going to end their final season with giving irreparable trauma to a young girl without the chance for that to be resolved in later seasons.

What purpose would Vecna have with taking Holly? What would he even want with her? Vecna targeted specific characters for a specific purpose last season, he doesn't just kidnap little girls for the hell of it. That would be a waste of his time.

He doesn't need to kidnap Holly to get to Will, and personally I hate hate HATE the idea of Will going into the Upside Down in order to get to Holly. Will already has ties to Vecna. Why would he need to kidnap someone to get to him? Also, why would it be Holly? Why not Joyce or Jonathan? What significant relationship does Will have with this little girl who I'm pretty sure he doesn't have any screen time with?

I think people outside of fandom forget that the show has not given the audience a reason to really care about Holly other than the fact that she is a little girl. She has had no significant lines, no significant screen presence, and no significant story line. And all of a sudden the final season of the show hinges on finding this girl that the audience doesn't give a shit about. Okay.

And before someone tries to straw man me and say "Oh, so you're saying that the Wheeler's doesn't have ANY connection to the supernatural and isn't important?" Of course I think they are important. They are as important any character is, they all have their own roles in the story. But the Wheeler's involvement with the supernatural has always been tangential. Barb was taken so Nancy got involved. Will was taken and Mike found El so Mike got involved. Karen is likely to now get involved since her children are now involved. I am making my assertion based on what I am seeing in the show. They are involved with the supernatural because they make themselves involved. Both Will and El are tied to the supernatural in a more direct way, and based on what the show has told me as well as what official sources (The Duffer's themselves), they are more integral to the supernatural plot than any Wheeler. Point blank.

#~in my opinion~ #feel free to disagree idc #but ive been annoyed and holding it in so i had to get it out but now my opinion is all out there so #also i still think its gonna be ted if any wheeler goes missing but i ranted enough here #feel free to read if you want #anon #asks #holly wheeler #st5 speculation #byler #<- target audience #cause thats where most of this conversation has been happening

[bomberqueen17]

snippet post

I'm in the editing mines, lol. But I was writing a Lu POV chapter and Morvran was acting funny so I was like ok I have to know why he's in this mood or whether I need to rewrite this, so I went in and wrote, just to throw away, his immediately-preceding conversation with Kalia, Ciri's household manager and a fellow Intelligence operative.

And this is something I'd put in earlier in the series, from Ciri's POV, but it seems relevant that Morvran is aware of it now. So I'm putting it here to preserve it, as this isn't a scene that's going to go into the main continuity anyway. And I wanted to post something as a proof of life, LOL.

Kalia considered that a moment, then snorted. “Morvran, it’s not like she’s going to marry someone else.” He glanced up at her, startled by her bluntness, and Kalia gestured widely with one hand. “You think any of the other candidates haven’t committed war crimes?” Morvran blinked, trying to determine whether he knew that for a fact or not. “Well,” he said. “Would any of them write up a report about them?” she asked. “Have any of them even made an effort to get to know her?” “Kalia,” he said, exasperated. “I’m not competing with the other candidates.” It wasn’t until he said it that he knew it was true. “I”m competing with her not choosing anyone. She doesn’t need me. She doesn’t need anyone. If she doesn’t find someone to marry she can just leave. And then we’ll have another fucking civil war.”

For a separate conversation I had to go look up the name I'd made up for Morvran's little brother and in so doing I wound up rereading most of the FFP series so I'm finding all kinds of shit I've already said in there. Ciri had the exact thought above very early on, before she even arrived in Nilfgaard I think. But she didn't say so. (And yes, i'd meant initially to have there be more suspense over the other candidates, but then I just didn't create any good characters, so that fell by the wayside. It's fine, LOL, I don't think anyone really needed that to be a side plot. There's still room for someone cool to pop up. We'll see if I get to it.)

As I was rereading, I remembered that I made a deliberate choice sometime during the pandemic: I realized that it would take longer for me to edit and cut down the story to make the pacing taut, and given the givens of what was going on in the world, I wasn't going to do that. I was just going to post the long sprawling story as it was. And I've stuck to that. So it's just. This long sprawl with all these meandery side bits, and as part of that yeah, some stuff is kind of repeated.

I know it's working for a bunch of readers, and it's working for me, but sometimes I'm like oh my god why is this so long why didn't i make myself a style sheet why didn't i edit anything down ever. So, LOL, if you've ever been like hmmmm this story is getting kind of long, well you're not the first to have that thought. I used to treat fanfic as like, "practice" for "real" writing (publishing original works), which is still a thing I'd love to do and may well someday, and I know nothing published as an original work is going to sprawl like this, and the worldbuilding would be all different, but you know, it's not like I'm not learning stuff from sprawling like this. It's been a fun ride and I'm not done yet. But that doesn't mean there won't be deleted scenes; I can't include this conversation with Morvran and Kalia simply because the pacing of the chapter works better starting with the other POV, and it's not worth trying to shoehorn in a flashback.

(This is also making me remember another decision I made in the fog of lockdown, which was that I had to stop replying to comments temporarily, because I had such limited time and realized I was spending it all in lovely conversations in the comments instead of writing more material, and while that wasn't bad per se, I really needed to tell the rest of the story. And I still haven't gone back to catch up on replying to comments and I feel guilty about that. So if you've left lovely comments and I haven't answered that's why, there's a three-year backlog at this point, and I've answered a few but it's not necessarily because they were the best, it's more that they came in during a moment when I had time, spoons, attention, and mostly, just happened to click through and do the thing and hit post. Alas.)

#my writing #snippet #fit for pearls #meet death sitting #the witcher

[songbirdseung]

Can you do one of Ariana grande new songs for sunghoon ? Please! (Supernatural or intro or fantasize (please this one where he thinks she is singing the lyrics for someone or even better one of the members bc she started to get close to another member!) if you are still taking requests that is if not please ignore this

supernatural / park sunghoon

pairing: sunghoon x reader

warnings: doubt, insecurities, cheating?? accusation??, lmk if i missed anything

wc: 1.8k

requested by: @laylasbunbunny

You had been singing Ariana Grande's "Supernatural" non-stop for the past week. The catchy tune had become your go-to song around the dorm, and you sang it everywhere — in the kitchen while making breakfast, in the living room while watching TV, and even softly to yourself as you walked down the hallway. Sunghoon loved hearing you sing, but lately, the lyrics were starting to bother him.

You are in the kitchen with Jay, cooking a meal together. The kitchen is filled with the delicious aroma of spices and freshly chopped vegetables. As you stir the pot, you can't help but sing under your breath, the catchy tune keeping you energized. Jay hums along, occasionally joining in with his own voice.

Just need you right here You're like the only thing that I see

Meanwhile, in his room, Sunghoon hears you singing the familiar lyrics. Curiosity and a hint of worry make him leave his room to see what’s going on. As he approaches the kitchen, he hears both you and Jay singing together, your voices blending harmoniously. He stops at the doorway, watching as you laugh and sing, completely immersed in the moment.

Jay grabs a spatula and uses it as a microphone, singing the lyrics about feeling an electric connection and something supernatural. He spins around, bumping into you playfully, and you both giggle. Neither of you notices Sunghoon standing there, a mix of emotions crossing his face.

Sunghoon clears his throat loudly, making his presence known. You and Jay turn around, surprised to see him. "Oh, Sunghoon! I didn't see you there," you say with a smile.

"I just came to get some water," Sunghoon says, trying to keep his tone neutral. He walks over to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water. His original plan to join you in the kitchen fades as he watches you and Jay together, feeling a pang of jealousy and hurt.

Jay, noticing Sunghoon's expression, tries to lighten the mood. "Hey, Sunghoon! Want to join us? We're making your favorite dish."

Sunghoon forces a smile, twisting the cap off his water bottle. "Maybe later. You two seem to have it under control." He takes a long sip of water, trying to push down the uneasy feeling in his chest.

It wasn't that he disliked the song; in fact, he thought your voice was beautiful. But there was one thing that was nagging at him: the way you seemed to emphasize certain lyrics. Specifically, the lines about feeling an "electric connection" and something "supernatural" were making him uneasy. He couldn't help but notice that you had been spending more time with Jay lately, and his insecurities were starting to get the better of him.

-

It’s a sunny Saturday afternoon, and you’re in the living room, flipping through a magazine. Sunghoon walks in, a hopeful smile on his face. "Hey, Y/N," he says, sitting down beside you, "I was thinking, maybe we could go to that new café downtown? The one with the amazing pastries."

Just as you’re about to respond, Jay enters the room, looking excited. "Y/N, I just found out about this cool art exhibit that’s opening today. It’s all about modern sculptures. Wanna check it out with me?"

You hesitate, caught between two great offers. Sunghoon’s suggestion sounds cozy and relaxing, while Jay’s idea seems interesting and different. You think for a moment, then make your decision. "Jay, the art exhibit sounds really intriguing. I’d love to go with you."

Sunghoon’s smile falters slightly, but he quickly masks his disappointment. "That’s cool. You’ll have a great time."

Sensing his feelings, you reach out and hold his hand. "Sunghoon, it's not that I don’t want to spend time with you. I just really wanted to see this exhibit. Why don’t you come with us?"

Sunghoon shakes his head, forcing a smile. "No, it’s okay. You two go ahead. I’ll just check out the café another time."

You squeeze his hand gently, trying to reassure him. "Are you sure? We’d love to have you with us."

"I’m sure," Sunghoon replies, standing up. "You guys enjoy the exhibit. I’ll see you later."

You watch as he walks away, feeling a twinge of guilt. You wish he would join you, but you understand his need for some space. Turning to Jay, you give him a small smile. "Let’s go see those sculptures."

Jay nods, his excitement evident. "It’s going to be awesome, Y/N."

As you leave for the exhibit with Jay, you can’t help but think about Sunghoon. The art exhibit is fascinating, filled with creative and inspiring pieces. You and Jay discuss each sculpture, sharing your thoughts and interpretations. Despite enjoying the exhibit, a part of you wishes Sunghoon were there to experience it with you.

Later that evening, when you return to the dorm, you find Sunghoon in his room, reading a book. You knock gently on the door frame. "Hey."

He looks up, a small smile on his lips. "Hey. How was the exhibit?"

"It was amazing," you say, sitting down beside him. "But I missed you."

Sunghoon closes his book and takes your hand. "I missed you too. I’m glad you had a good time, though."

You lean in and kiss his cheek. "Next time, we’ll do something together. Just the two of us."

Sunghoon nods, his smile growing. "I’d like that."

-

One evening, Sunghoon decided he couldn't keep his feelings to himself any longer. He found you sitting on the couch, scrolling through your phone, and sat down beside you.

"Hey," he began, trying to keep his tone casual, "you've been singing that Ariana Grande song a lot lately."

You looked up from your phone and smiled. "Yeah, it's just stuck in my head. It's such a good song, don't you think?"

Sunghoon nodded, but his expression remained serious. "Yeah, it is. But… can I ask you something?"

"Sure," you said, putting your phone down and giving him your full attention.

"Is there a reason why you're singing it so much? I mean, the lyrics… they seem kind of… personal."

You raised an eyebrow, confused. "Personal? What do you mean?"

Sunghoon took a deep breath. "It's just… the part about feeling an electric connection and something supernatural. You've been spending a lot of time with Jay lately, and I can't help but wonder if… if maybe you're singing about him."

Your eyes widened in surprise, and then you burst out laughing. Sunghoon felt a pang of hurt, but you quickly reached out and took his hand.

"Oh, Sunghoon," you said, still chuckling, "you're so silly. Jay and I have just been working on a project together. There's nothing romantic going on. I sing that song because it's catchy and fun, not because it reminds me of Jay or anyone else."

Sunghoon felt a wave of relief wash over him, but he still felt a little embarrassed. "I guess I was just being paranoid. It's just that I care about you a lot, and I don't want to lose you."

Your expression softened, and you leaned in to kiss him gently on the lips. "You have nothing to worry about, Sunghoon. You're the only one I feel that 'supernatural' connection with."

He smiled, his heart swelling with affection. "I'm sorry for doubting you."

"It's okay," you said, snuggling closer to him. "Just remember, no song lyrics can ever change how I feel about you."

As you sat together on the couch, Sunghoon felt the last of his worries melt away. He knew that your bond was strong and that nothing — not even a catchy song — could come between you. And with you by his side, he felt more connected than ever, truly experiencing something supernatural.

-

Sunghoon wakes up to the soft hum of a song playing from his phone. Groggily, he reaches out to turn off the alarm, but he’s surprised to see you sitting on the edge of the bed, smiling brightly.

"Good morning, Sunghoon!" you say cheerfully, leaning in to give him a quick kiss on the forehead.

"Good morning," he replies, a bit confused but happy to see you. "What’s going on?"

"I have a surprise for you," you say, your eyes twinkling with excitement. "Get dressed and pack a bag. We’re going on a little adventure."

His curiosity piqued, Sunghoon gets up and quickly gets ready. You help him pack, making sure he brings everything he’ll need for a couple of days. He keeps asking questions, but you just smile and tell him to wait and see.

Once you're both ready, you grab his hand and lead him outside, where a car is waiting. "Our ride is here," you say, opening the door for him.

As the car drives off, Sunghoon looks at you with a mixture of excitement and curiosity. "Where are we going?"

"You’ll see," you reply, holding his hand. "Just enjoy the ride."

After a couple of hours, the car pulls up to a beautiful, cozy cabin nestled in the mountains. The view is breathtaking, with lush greenery and a serene lake nearby. Sunghoon’s eyes widen in surprise.

"Welcome to our little getaway," you say, stepping out of the car. "I booked this cabin for us. We have the next two days all to ourselves."

Sunghoon is speechless for a moment, then he wraps his arms around you, lifting you off the ground in a tight hug. "This is amazing, Y/N. Thank you so much."

You laugh, hugging him back. "I’m glad you like it. Let’s go inside and get settled."

The cabin is even more beautiful on the inside, with a warm, rustic charm. You’ve already stocked the fridge with his favorite foods, and there’s a cozy fireplace with a stack of firewood ready to go.

For the rest of the day, you and Sunghoon explore the area, taking a hike along the scenic trails and enjoying the fresh mountain air. You have a picnic by the lake, complete with all of Sunghoon’s favorite snacks. As the sun begins to set, you head back to the cabin, where you cook dinner together, laughing and talking as you prepare the meal.

After dinner, you light a fire in the fireplace and snuggle up on the couch with a blanket. Sunghoon looks at you, his eyes filled with gratitude and love. "This is perfect, Y/N. I can’t believe you planned all this."

You smile, leaning your head on his shoulder. "I wanted to do something special for you. You deserve it."

Sunghoon kisses the top of your head, holding you close. "Thank you. This is the best surprise ever."

The next morning, you wake up to the sound of birds chirping outside. Sunghoon is still asleep, looking peaceful and content. You quietly get out of bed and make breakfast, wanting to surprise him one last time. When he wakes up, he finds a delicious spread of pancakes, fruit, and coffee waiting for him.

"This is amazing," he says, sitting down at the table. "You’ve thought of everything."

You sit down across from him, smiling. "I just wanted to make sure you had the best time."

For the next two days, you and Sunghoon enjoy every moment of your getaway. You hike, swim in the lake, and spend hours talking by the fireplace. It’s a perfect escape from the world, and you both cherish the time together.

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen au #engene #enha #enhypen x reader #sunghoon #park sunghoon #enhypen park sunghoon #sunghoon au #sunghoon imagines #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon enhypen #sunghoon fluff

[thesparkling-diamond27]

The Second Bridgerton And I: Part 4

Benedict Bridgerton x Reader

Summary: Y/n Clearwater becomes named the “Sparkling Diamond” by Queen Charlotte herself, but she doesn’t know what to do with all this attention. Of course she has her family, but sometimes that doesn’t seem enough. But what happens when she encounters a specific Bridgerton, which changes the course of her season.

Author’s Note: I am sorry for not updating sooner. When I posted chapter 3 I already had half of this chapter written, but I stated working recently and I have been reading the Bridgerton prequels (which are amazing by the way I highly recommend), so I have been a little busy. I am here now and I already have most of the next chapter written, so there should be another update really shortly. This story is also going to be a lot longer than I originally thought wave I planned to do about one chapter per episode and that plan is out the window. Especially since am adding scenes that are not from the show.

Author’s Note: This chapter includes scenes from season 3 episode 3 of Bridgerton. Down below is the link to the part 3. I hope you enjoy! Y/nn= reader’s nick name.

My family and I entered Lord Tremble’s house and it was quite different from other social events. This event was nothing like a ball and was more like an event to socialize and mingle with one another. I would definitely be glued to my families side tonight because I knew many people would approach me. Last ball I was able to completely occupy myself with Maxwell, but here it won’t be the case.

I wonder if Benedict and his family were here yet. He did say he was coming and all week I have been looking forward to spending more time with him.

My siblings and I were rather hungry and we made our way to the food table. As I picked my desired foods I couldn’t help but notice the deer heads that were hanging from the wall.

“Is it just me or are those deer heads watching us?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” Adeline said, “but it sure seems like it. They are creepy. Let us hurry so we can leave them.”

Adeline and I hurried with our food selection and forced our brothers to do the same. The four of us then made our way across the room. It has been a while since the four of us passed the time with another and it brought back memories from our childhood.

“What are you thinking about Carina?”

Noah asked.

“Nothing.” I said. “I just missed this. The four of us all together.”

Alex put his arm around my shoulder and said, “Well we are not going anywhere little sister. Even when you want nothing to do with us we will still be here annoying you. And you will still be here annoying us when we want nothing to do with you.”

He said that in the most brotherly way possible and it warmed my heart. Adeline and Noah both gave smiles filled with the same message and meaning as Alex.

“So.” Adeline started, “How are things with you and Lord Tewkesberry? I’m assuming things are going well.”

“And here is where we take our leave.”

Alex said.

“Why?” I asked.

“We do not need to hear the two of you discussing men. We hear enough of that at home.” Noah said. “We will be over there in the corner in case you need us.”

Adeline and I both nodded in understanding and the both of them walked away.

“So. Lord Tewkesberry. How are things?” Adeline asked.

“Things are going well between us. The way things are going I am expecting him to ask to court me soon.”

“That is good.”

“How are things going with you and Lord Harvey?”

“Very well! I think he might propose before the end of the season!”

Lord Harvey asked Adeline to court her the day after the ball last week. They have been courting ever since and Adeline seemed content.

“Are you happy Adeline?”

“I am.” She said with a smile.

I smiled in return. We were interrupted by someone clearing their throat. Speak of the devil.

“Miss Clearwater. Miss Clearwater.” Lord Harvey said.

Adeline and I slightly curtsied while he bowed in return.

“Can I steal you for a moment?” He said towards Adeline.

“Of course!” She said excitedly. “Are you going to be okay all by yourself?” She asked me.

I wanted to say no. I did not want suitors to approach me and I would feel uncomfortable being all alone. I have also been on edge all day, and being left alone can possibly trigger me, but I did not want to hold Adeline back with Lord Harvey.

“Do not worry about me. You go on ahead.”

Adeline nodded and she placed her hand into Lord Harvey’s and they went to have more privacy. I found myself quite parched and decided to find a lemonade table.

The lemonade table was in a separate room tucked in the corner. It was the perfect place to hide away. I took a sip of the pale yellow liquid and it was refreshing.

“Miss Clearwater.”

I turned around and was startled when I saw three men standing in front of me. When did they get here?

“We’re sorry for frightening you Miss Clearwater. We simply wanted to talk with you.” Said Lord Clayton I believe.

“That is alright. I thought I was alone.”

I said.

“Well now that we have your attention, we are quite curious about you.” The second man said.

“Curious about what exactly?”

“About you.” The third man said. “What are your hobbies? What makes you tick?”

“Are you a morning person or night person? What makes you you?” The second man asked.

Lord Clayton started asking me a series of more questions, but I could not hear him. His words were blurred as if we were underwater. The questions from the three of them were all too much at once. I felt the oxygen slowly leave my lungs and I could not breathe. Tears started to fill my eyes. I had to get out of here.

I walked past the three men and tried to find a quiet private place to breathe. Several suitors tried to stop me, but I kept on walking. I even bumped into one of them, but I did not pay them any mind. I just needed to get out of here. I walked down the hall and opened the nearest door. It was empty, so I quickly shut the door and slid down to the floor. My tears continued to flow as I tried to control my breathing. This was not the first time I have had a panic attack, but it was the first time in a while. The solution for me to become well again is for me to be secluded until I felt like I was better.

After a while my breath evened and I could finally see clearly. I took a moment to look around the room.

To my right was a marble fireplace with the fire running and a portrait of Lord Tremble, I’m assuming, above. Towards the center of the room was a sofa and two chairs across which a coffee table in between. Behind the lounge area, facing me, were windows that were ceiling high. It had a windowsill to gaze at the view. The room was cozy.

I wiped my tears from my face when I was pushed forward by a force. I turned around and noticed someone opened the door.

“I’m sorry I hit you! I did not realize you were on the floor.”

It was a man’s voice, but it did not belong to my father or brothers. The door opened fully and Benedict stepped into the room

—————————

Benedict

I entered a room, with Eloise and Colin, and I saw Ms. Stowell and her mama noticing my presence.

Great! Just the two people I needed to see.

I turned to Eloise.

“If anyone asks for me, I am not here.”

I did not wait for her response and escaped. I wonder if Y/n is here, because she did say that she will be here. I started reading the book she recommended me and it was very interesting. Maybe we can talk about it. I definitely had some thoughts to share.

I walked into three entirely different rooms with no sight of Y/n. Maybe she has not arrived or I missed her. I noticed the table with alcohol and decided that that was the way to go for tonight. If anything was going to save me from the relentless mamas it would be this, but not too much that my mind will be too affected to function.

I took a sip of the amber liquid and it burned as it went down my throat. However it kept me in check and awakened my senses.

Suddenly someone bumped into me and I looked to see that it was Y/n. But something was wrong and she did not look well. I placed my cup on the table and went after her. She was walking fast past people, so it was difficult to keep up, and she made a left. I heard a door slam coming from an empty hallway. She was in one of these rooms.

I opened the first two doors and was left with empty rooms. I approached the third door and I heard sniffle coming from the other side.

She was crying and my heart clenched at the sound. Y/n deserved nothing, but good things. I could not bear to hear her cry and I knew I would not like seeing her cry if I was in the room with her.

I waited until her crying to die down before I opened the door, however I did not realize she was sitting on the ground and I accidentally hit her.

“I’m sorry I hit you! I did not realize you were on the floor.” I said.

Y/n looked at me from the ground and her cheeks were stained with dry tears. I quickly crouched down to meet her on the floor and pulled out a handkerchief from my coat pocket.

“Here.” I said softly.

Cautiously I dabbed under her cheeks and around her eyes. I caressed the side of her face with handkerchief and started into her eyes. They were the most mesmerizing e/c eyes I have ever seen, and I somehow saw my future when I looked into them. It was crazy to think of such things, but when her irises met my own I felt a sense of warmth and home.

I snapped out of my daze and handed her the handkerchief. She blew her nose and we fell into a comfortable silence.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” I asked.

Y/n said nothing, but she stood up and walked over to sit on the windowsill. Her gaze upon the view below. I slowly raised to stand up and followed her to where she sat.

“The windowsill has always been a source of comfort for me. Whenever I am having a hard time, here I can find peace.” She said.

I nodded in response, but she did not look up at me,so I do not think she noticed.

“I had a panic attack. It has been a while since I had one that I forgot how exhausting it can be. The questions Lord Clayton ,and a few others, were bombarding me with and the immense pressure was all too much at once. I had to get away.”

“Do you feel better now?” I asked.

“I do not know.”

“What immense pressure do you struggle with Y/n?”

“Pressure from being the diamond. My family. Society. Especially society.”

“Why mainly society?”

Y/n stayed silent and I thought she would remain that way. Then she looked at me for the first time, during this conversation, and I saw frustration in her eyes.

“People in society want everyone to remain in a neat little tiny box. To fit in. But would if I do not want to remain in the neat little tiny box. Would if I want to explore outside the box. See what more life has to offer. Would if I want to break free from the restraints that society has put on me because I am a woman.” She said

I did not know what to say after that statement. As a man I knew that we were “more free” compared to women. Especially involving marriage. We had the choice to be unwed, while unmarried women are considered spinsters. I guess I never really thought of ideals of this nature because I am a man and those rules do not apply to me. I could never know what a woman goes through, but I wanted to understand for Y/n.

Y/n stood from the windowsill, walked towards the fireplace and continued.

“I cannot do that though, because as soon as I step out of that box everyone will cast me aside. They expect more from me because I am the diamond. I have to be perfect. I have to be the perfect mold of society. And it kills me every time I play the game. There are so many rules! You can dance with who you like, but it is rude to deny a dance if you have not already reserved one with another man. You cannot ask to court a man because you must wait for them to do so. You cannot dance with one partner too many times. If you are caught in a scandal the whole ton judges you.And so much more. When does it end Benedict? When?”

Y/n’s voice cracked at the end and I noticed she began to cry. I quickly rushed over to her from where I sat. I stood in front of her and she looked up at me. Her eyes glistening with tears. I slowly wrapped my arms around her and laid my head on top of hers. I slowly began to caress her back. It was only thing I thought to do without making her more upset.

“I know I cannot make things better, I said, “but I will do everything in my power to make you happy. As your friend.”

—————————

I pulled away from Benedict and thanked him. He nodded, but I can still see concern in his eyes. I freed my self from his embrace and cleared my throat.

“We should both leave this room before someone notices that both of us are gone and catches us here. I would not want anyone to get the wrong idea.” I said.

“That works with me.”

I noticed I was still holding his handkerchief and motioned for him to take it back.

“Keep it. It is yours.” Benedict said.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

I looked down at the white handkerchief and noticed that Benedict’s initials were beautifully sewn into it with blue stitching.

B.B.

“Thank you.” I said.

I looked up at Benedict and we both shared a mutual understanding. We will discuss this later. I folded his handkerchief and stuffed it into the top of my dress. I then made my way to the door, twisted the door knob and left the room.

I began to search for my family. This incident happened because I strayed from my family in the first place. I hope I look presentable because I did not want my family asking questions about what happened. Not when feelings from the situation was still fresh. I did not even ask Benedict if I looked decent. I regret not asking.

I entered the room with the deer heads and I saw my brothers in the corner. As I approached them they must have noticed my affected mood and appearance because they looked at me with concerned expressions.

“Are you okay Y/n?” Noah asked.

“Can…can I stay with you two for the rest of the night?”

“Of course.” Alex said.

They did not say anything, but I can tell by the looks on their faces that they would want to talk later on like Benedict.

—————————

The balloon was quite disappointing. For the past week, all throughout the ton, people have been talking about the giant ballon. That it was grand and majestic and could transport several people to other areas.

The balloon part was beautiful. I can tell that a lot of detail and time went into the design. The basket part on the other hand , was small and strong looking, but not grand and majestic. It could fit about two people if you want enough space to maneuver around and three people tops if you are content with little wiggle room. I would definitely not ride the balloon if I was in need to travel a long distance. I assumed it would be bigger.

“Come one! Come all! Watch man attempt to take flight! Soaring to nights never before seen!”

A man with a megaphone was shouting

these words as my family and I entered the area. I was wearing a light blue day dress with a pink sheer scarf wrapped around my shoulders. Blue was uncommon in my everyday wardrobe, so I was excited to wear such a dress. The fabric was light and breathable, which was perfect for the hot weather.

“Let us all address the queen.” My mama said.

I linked my arm with Alex and we carried on to Queen Charlotte.

“I thought the balloon would be bigger. At least able to fit more than three people.” I said.

“People always tend to use hyperboles with such things like the balloon.” Alex said.

“What kind of sweets do you think they would have?”

I motioned to the pink tent with a pink sign that said “Ms. Plaskitt’s Sweet Treats”.

“You always have room for sweets Carina.”

“There is always room for sweets Felis.”

“Hoping for macarons?”

“Of course!”

We both laughed in unison. Our walk came to a halt when we became within talking distance of the queen. She looked beautiful with her turquoise colored dress and her unique wig. Her wig was extremely unbalanced, but that didn’t seem to deteriorate her poise and elegance. Queen charlotte is always so calm and collected and manages to always keep people on their toes. I wonder if I can become a lady like her one day in the future.

I approached the queen with my sister and mama. My brothers and father close behind. I curtsied with as much grace as I had.

“Flawless my dear. As I expected.” Queen Charlotte said. “Have you been enjoying your season so far.”

“I have your grace.”

“Any updates on Lord Tewksbury?”

Queen Charlotte was asking if Lord Tewkesberry courted or not. My family and his family were the only few people who know about the news and I intend to keep it that way.

“No. I am afraid not.” I said.

“Pity. Hopefully he courts you soon. I do not want my efforts to be in vain.”

“What do you mean your efforts being in vain?”

“I was the one who insisted to your parents for you to pursue Mr. Tewkesberry.”

This was the first time I was hearing this news and it made me feel unsettled. I thought I had made a bond with Maxwell and it was I who decided that he was a man I would like to persue, but all this time that was not true. It made me feel like my parents did not trust me with making my own choices.

“I hope your generous efforts result with a beautiful match.” I said.

“As do I. Now enjoy the day my diamond. I do not want to hold you forever.”

I gave the queen a grateful smile and curtsied before leaving. I noticed my mama looking at me with a defeated look. Hoping I would look at her, so I can speak with her, but I was not in the mood at the moment. This shall be a talk for later.

I went on a search for Pen or Benedict. I knew both of them were on their way if they were not already here. Whichever one I see first shall keep me company. As I was walking, I came across the sweets tent again. Maybe they have lemon cakes or possibly macarons I thought.

I entered the tent and notice Pen with Colin. I was surprised to see them with one another after everything that has happened, but they are friends after all. Pen was the one to notice me first when she turned from Colin.

“Y/nn! How lovely it is to see you. Care to join me?”

She did not give me a time to respond and grabbed my arm to follow her.

“My goodness. Eager are we?” I said.

Penelope realized that she was pulling my arm and set me free.

“I’m so sorry Y/nn.” Penelope said, “I’m in an excited state. I am trying to locate Lord Debling.”

Penelope and Lord Debling hit it off the other night at Lord Tremble’s gathering. I was happy for Pen. I knew she was wrong with her headspace on marriage and I was glad I was able to prove her wrong.

“Let us find him then.” I said with a smile. Penelope smiled back and we began our search for Lord Debling. We made a roundabout around the balloon when I noticed Lord Debling conversing with Eloise and Cressida Cowper.

“Pen he is over there past the hill, but are you sure you wish to talk to him considering who he is with at the moment.”

“I cannot let people stop me from doing what I would like to do. If that is how people lived nothing would get done.”

Penelope began to walk towards Lord Debling and I admired her determination, because if I were in her shoes, I would be walking the opposite way. I quickly caught up with Penelope and we continued our way. When we were three yards away from them Penelope hesitated.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Maybe you were right. This is a mistake. We should head somewhere else.”

“No Pen! Let us—“

“Ah Miss Featherington. Miss Clearwater.”

We both turned to see the owner of the voice to be Lord Debling. Penelope seems stuck not knowing what to do, so I nudged her along to continue walking. As we walked towards them I noticed Eloise and Cressida looking not pleased with us joining them. There is free rein around the park, so both of them have to deal with it I thought.

“My Lord. We do not wish to intrude.” Penelope said.

“Nonsense.” Lord Debling said, “I am about to embark on another trip with no one, but my crew. Surely you two will not deny me the company while I have the pleasure of it.

“Of course not.” I said.

The conversation became extremely uninteresting. I believe Cressida mentioned the bird the great auk,but I cannot say for certain. I tuned out most of the conversation. The wind was blowing more strongly than before and it felt nice against the humid air. I was mentally counting how much money I have to purchase sweet treats when I heard Penelope say,

“I must prefer the natural world to the..unatural one. There is nothing I love more than…grass.”

I mentally face palmed at the mention of grass. This conversation was not going great for Pen. I was about to intervene and help, but Lord Debling stated.

“What about grass do you so love Miss Featherington.”

“Uh…how it is so…green.”

“It is quite green.”

Cressida was trying to hide her laughter while Eloise seemed sorry for Penelope. I could not tell how Lord Debling was feeling, but he did not seem to find Penelope’s comment about grass odd. Maybe it is due to him being odd himself, but I would never say this out loud.

As the conversation progressed the wind grew stronger and it caused my scarf to blow throughout the wind. I chased after it, but the wind blew it even further. I ran after it, but the basket of the balloon was coming towards me. I could either run towards the basket to retrieve my scarf or run the other way empty handed. The latter was more safe, but that was my favorite scarf . Who knows what can happen to it.

I heard Penelope shouting my name, but I ignored them. My mission was to retrieve my scarf.

From the other side of the ballon I heard men trying to pull the balloon the other way. Hopefully this can give me the leverage I need to reach my scarf. The ballon moved from the bottom of the steps up to the middle of the wooden platform and it gave me enough room to run as fast as I could to my scarf.

My hand wrapped around the silk fabric and as I stood I noticed the basket of the balloon coming straight towards me.

The balloon is going to hit me.

The balloon is going to hit me.

The balloon is going to hit me.

That is all I could think about as the balloon came closer. I heard Penelope shouting for me to move, as I shuffled backwards. I tripped over my feet and fell on the ground. I closed my eyes in fear as I waited for the balloon to hit me.

Suddenly I felt someone from behind wrap their arm around my waist to shield me from the upcoming balloon.

#bridgerton #bridgerton season 3 #benedict x reader #eloise bridgerton #friends to lovers #colin x penelope #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #cressida cowper #lord debling

[ssruis]

Hello welcome to yet another post that was 1) originally meant to be a short thing but it rapidly got out of hand 2) caters to me specifically 3) is all over the place because I kept finding more things I wanted to talk about

The way rui approaches emotions is so fascinating to me bc like. He approaches everything with a very rational/logical thought process instead of an emotional one and he tends to either ignore his emotions or view them as an obstacle/hinderance.

(From his gleaming stars card story)

If he acknowledges that he’s upset or unhappy he tends to just go “oh well. What can you do.” & then berates himself for not wanting to be unhappy. I feel like a lot of that can be explained by his childhood alienation from his peers.

In RMD his reaction to his classmates refusing to take part in his play once he explained the tree jump stunt & them calling him weird is to blame himself:

Little Nene: Rui, what’s the matter? Did something sad happen?

Little Rui: Nene… No. That’s not it. I pushed my show onto everyone and bothered them.

(From RMD - TL by Arven Oven)

Which is pretty telling. To Rui, the issue is that he asked for too much, that he as a person is something that must be tolerated by his peers.

But ultimately he still has faith that he’ll find his people.

Little Rui: …That’s right. People like you, Nene, who would say that they like my shows, surely exist out there. I want to make my own shows. But as of now - I think it might be a little hard.

(RMD)

And he *did* keep trying to find people who would accept him for a while - Wonder Halloween shows that he continued to try to reach out even after the stuff that happened in RMD, but eventually anyone he got a little close to would end up leaving & reinforcing his idea that he was too different from others to form relationships.

(From Wonder Halloween)

I’ve seen some people say him giving up on forming relationships was due to the events shown in RMD, but I think it was more of a result of him experiencing the same rejection over and over again. The definition of insanity is trying over and over again when the result never changes, and despite what his peers may think, Rui is not insane. I think he gradually lost faith in his parents assurance that he would find people who accepted him - he begins pushing Nene, the only person who hasn’t left him yet, away.

Middle School Rui: I’m working on a solo project… but I haven’t found anyone else like you that’s willing to help.

Middle School Nene: oh, I see…

Middle School Nene: then would you like to join the troupe I’m in…?

Middle School Nene: I mean, uh…

Middle School Rui: hehe. It’s nice of you to invite me, but there’s no need to pity me. I’m doing ok on my own, and it’s for the best anyway.

(From Wonder Halloween)

Why he pushed Nene away is sort of left up to interpretation - To protect her from himself? To leave her before she left like everyone else? - but I think the assumption that her invitation is out of pity show that at least part of his decision to push her away was out of the belief that she, like everyone else, was simply tolerating him. If he assumes everyone hates him/is scared of him right off the bat, he can avoid getting his hopes up and being crushed when he’s inevitably abandoned. It’s not unhealthy or detrimental to forming relationships he’s just recognizing a pattern and using it to predict the behavior of others (blatantly wrong).

Zombie Plushies: We can tell you’re just pretending to be friends! Deep down, you’re probably scared and disgusted by us too!

(…)

Zombie Plushies: We’ll never fit in with them anyway…

Rui: …! (Never fit in with them, huh…)

(…)

Rui: When I look at them… I remember how things used to be.

(WXS world link, TL by Haruka’s penguin)

He rationalized his loneliness with “I’m just incompatible with other people” which

1) ow.

2) if he’s incompatible with other people, there’s no reason to get his hopes up because he’ll never find people he fits in with

3) if nothing is ever going to get better, he should be content with being alone. There’s no reason to be sad over a fact of life. It is what it is.

4) being sad over this is inconvenient, unhelpful, and a distraction from following his dreams (on his own)

5) inflicting himself onto others is a selfish desire and he should just keep to himself. “It’s for the best, anyway.”

6) he’s perfectly fine on his own. He doesn’t need anyone for his shows, and he doesn’t need friends.

By the time the WXS main story takes place, he’s already fully convinced himself that he’s better off alone, and that Actually It’s Super Beneficial For Him & His Shows And He’s Fine Like This.

Middle School Rui: Solitude isn’t as bad as people make it out to be.

Middle School Mizuki: huh?

Middle School Rui: In fact, it has had certain benefits for me. It’s given me plenty of time to see plays and to think over ideas for shows, for example.

(Kamikou festival)

Rui: hehe. Unfortunately, we won’t be doing a show together.

Rui: you see, I like to work alone and with absolute freedom to stage any show I want.

Rui: as long as my shows fill my audience’s hearts with joy, I’m perfectly satisfied.

(WXS main story) (“I’m perfectly satisfied” me when I lie)

I feel like it’s overlooked that the only reason rui joined wxs was to get nene in the group. I’m probably going to talk about his continued pushing of Tsukasa’s limits/suggesting insane stunts and over emphasizing how dangerous they are at a later date - and how that was (imo) an attempt to find the point where Tsukasa would hate and leave him too -

(surely this is too good to be true, Tsukasa/wxs will be like all the others -> wait he’s not calling me a freak and leaving ok I guess I’ll go full throttle on the insane shit surely at some point he’ll get tired of me -> he got injured because of me and he’s still here?? what the fuck???? Well now I care about him & this group so I need to pull back I’m not going to get a second chance)

(Wonder Halloween)

- but I would like to briefly mention that Rui literally suggests risking Tsukasa’s life right off the bat & when Tsukasa is like “?? I don’t want to die???” Rui just goes “alright I’m out of the group I guess bye. have fun nene!”

Rui: Don't worry, the device can be securely attached to the stage in a way that will keep the audience perfectly safe. Please make sure you don't touch it or you'll die.

Tsukasa: what about keeping ME safe?!

(…)

Tsukasa: I’m not going to risk my life on-stage!

Rui: but you said you’d perform any role I gave you to, quote, 12000%, unquote!

Rui: I'm afraid that I have no choice but to step down as a stage director. Nene, good luck working with these people.

(Wxs main story)

Unfortunately humans are a social species & emotions don’t follow (faulty) logic so rui *was* unhappy on his own and he *did* want to have friends. Which I’m sure he continued to call himself selfish/greedy for feeling. Rationalizing all of this was a way he could accept/make peace with being miserable (because it must be this way, because this is how it will always be).

Rui: I was the same a long time ago… I gave up on fitting in with anyone.

(…)

Rui: If they don’t understand me, that just can’t be helped, if they disagree with the way I think, that just can’t be helped… I would think like that.

Rin: Rui-kun…

Rui: - in reality, I really did want to put on a show with someone else. But people didn’t understand the shows I was making. On a subconscious level, I convinced myself it wasn’t going to work out and gave up on the idea.

(WXS world link)

(Wxs Journey to bloom animation)

This added scene from the main story animation adds to this - why he leaves WXS did have to do with Tsukasa yelling at Nene, but the reason he doesn’t come back after Nene forgives Tsukasa is because Tsukasa’s self centered attitude is something that antithetical to a belief that Rui thought he’d given up on a long time ago: great shows *can’t* be made alone, no matter how many times you insist that you don’t need anyone else. As much as he denied it, Rui *did* still want to connect with people and be accepted - not just for the purpose of making shows, but to have a place where he belonged. For the first time in years Rui got his hopes up, started believing in what his parents told him, and Tsukasa proved to him that he never should have done so in the first place. Unlike the other times, though, Rui is the one to walk away first. & then tsukasa/wxs do the whole “true feelings” show etc etc we know how the main story ends.

That being said, I think that Rui still subconsciously believed WXS would grow to hate him and leave because he would finally be Too Much. Wonder Halloween showed him that this wasn’t true (Which is why it’s so important that the zombie plushies in the world link performed potato ghost to connect to the other plushies - it’s the show that was performed when Rui fully realized that wxs was not going to abandon him.) but I feel like that only cemented the fact that wxs would keep performing alongside him, not that they were his friends.

Rui also very clearly did not process or evaluate how his childhood impacted him.

Nene: When you talked about the old days, you seemed happy.

Rui: fufu. I don’t mind it anymore because it was so long ago.

(His RMD card story - TL by Rubilia Heartfilia) (me when I lie part two)

After so long by himself, with shows as the only thing he had, I think that having a connection to people *outside* of shows was completely unfathomable to Rui.

Which is why he’s kind of incapable of realizing why the idea of leaving wxs hurts him so much,

(Curtain call)

why he doesn’t realize why he starts holding back in wonder Halloween or why he holds back on the cheer squad,

(Cheer squad event)

And why he’s surprised that wxs cares for him not just as a director, but as a friend.

(Festival bathed in twilight)

I make fun of him for taking a year to finally be like “yeah tsukasa-kun and I are friends” but I think it’s pretty reasonable taking his trust/abandonment issues into account. Accepting Tsukasa’s offer to join wxs (twice) changed his life drastically - he realizes that he can connect to others outside of shows, that it’s possible for him to form relationships with people outside of wxs. Rui just needed to make the choice to accept the outreached hands - not changing the parts of himself that people previously deemed too weird or strange (not that he was ever going to do that anyways) but changing his attitude of “it’s just impossible for me to be accepted.”

Rui: I had always thought that I could never properly understand everyone around me.

Rui: as I started doing shows at Wonder Stage with everyone, my way of thinking and feelings began to change.

Rui: now, I am able to understand and connect with someone without relying on shows, and I’ve come to value the beauty of laughing alongside others

Rui: that’s why — tsukasa-kun. Thank you for giving me the chance to change.

(…)

Tsukasa: but… it’s not only just thanks to me, y’know?

Rui: eh?

Tsukasa: think about it. No matter how many chances I gave you, if you had refused to change, you would never have done so, right?

(Pandemonium, TL by Tsukasa’s #3 fan)

This is also why he tends to berate himself for having the very normal desire to hold on to wxs. He’s never had something like this before, where he has people who accept and love him as he is. He’s never wanted to keep something as badly as this. He’s asking too much of them, he’s imposing like he did with his classmates in RMD, he should let them leave. It’s the mature thing to do. He spent so long on his own, he should be fine going back to that, isn’t it selfish and greedy to want more?

(Curtain call)

(Talking abt wanting to keep doing shows w wxs and his actions in OHE) Rui: Now that I think about it, I’ve been pretty selfish.

(World link)

Rui: (…When the time comes, even I, too, will have to move forward.)

Rui: (…Moving forward, can I do that?)

Rui: (…Geez, I really lack a backbone. When will the time come when I find myself satisfied with the way things are?)

(…)

Rui: (While working to make my dream come true, together with everyone, I will make their dreams come true. A way to do that - let me think of one.)

Rui: (fufu, how greedy of me.)

(Curtain call - TL by Arven Oven & Tsukasa’s #3 Fan) (fuck you ensekai)

I think that, in future events, he’ll (hopefully) come to realize there are more people who will accept him (& get more trust ranks. Please.). I think it’s an impossible ask for him to be completely fine with wxs going their separate ways some day (and the same goes for everyone else in wxs), but I think when the time comes it will at least be bittersweet and with the knowledge that he can find other places to belong & that his relationships with the rest of wxs is strong enough to withstand not being in the same troupe. Things can’t stay the same forever, but change doesn’t have to be bad. Etc etc.

#mine #project sekai #analysis #rui #hiii (twirls hair) (covered in blood) (visibly dying) #me when I’m so normal about these characters #you don’t want to know how long I spent on this post the answer is too fucking long. #i hate that purple fuck (said with incredible fondness and love) #at some point I’m sure I’ll write about emu & her 400 mental illnesses and analyze nene’s character in depth #and do that analysis on the roof & it’s importance to rui & tsukasa (mainly rui) #but also I need to not spend hours on miku game analysis. #incredibly self serving post in that every in depth analysis on these characters I create is one step closer to feeling comfortable #writing the 3 million fic ideas in my head #and also because I’m not organizing this better you’ll take the word vomit and like it

[inkskinned]

am i gonna put you in the book acknowledgements am i gonna be able to say your name without flinching am i ever gonna get a word in edgewise am i ever gonna recover the time i spent with you. computer virus kid; i arrived in your life already begging to be let in. somehow insecure i could even be your friend. like you had a line outside the door and we were all shifting our weight, begging.

you're so fucking good at that - at making people feel like they need to earn you, like you're a commodity none of us can afford. no kindness or careful communication could work on you - you were so good at just going-ghost, about deciding someone just wasn't cool-enough. something about that is super ironic. even the parts of it that weren't romantic felt like a romance book. i wanted you to like me so badly i scrubbed myself clean just so you'd spare me - what. your favor? a look?

okay okay okay. it's just a friendship - if it was even true that we were friends, if you even saw me as someone you trusted. on reddit someone would tell me girl literally just cut her out of your life, it's not that difficult. even i was aware of how fucked up the whole situation was. like, why the fuck do i even care about your approval? you're like, not even that fun to be around. you are often a little bit cruel.

but for almost four years of my life, i thought i had found someone like me. somebody who liked the same things i do. someone who liked to read and who liked making jokes with esoteric references and who spent maybe too much time on the internet and who was absolutely a little bit pretentious. i don't know, something about that was powerful and addictive.

i keep thinking about our last conversation. about how i said - okay, enough is enough. you pushed me too far, you really hurt my feelings.

and how you laughed and said - you think you're the victim?

#spilled ink #warm up #writeblr #she physically assaulted me and then screamed in my face #but not before sh'ing first and blaming it on me #while she was locked in my bathroom. at 1 in the morning #while i begged her to please just calm down and to try taking a deep breath and to go to sleep #and then she was like - ur just like my abuser #bc she had screamed in my face which was triggering to me and i froze like a deer in the headlights #and since i had shut down at that point evidently i was the problem child #i know she is out there telling our mutual friends i abandoned her and it makes me SO pissed off #like dude you spent so much fucking time forgiving & forgetting that your decrepit asshole of a boyfriend #pushed me down in the fucking hallway #but noooo hes <3 troubled <3 at 43 and divorced #bc according to you it's important that u don't '''see anyone as a monster'' #but god forbid i not handle you SCREAMING IN MY FACE #i couldnt even get you to say sorry for crossing my original and only boundary you were like ''what did you want me to do'' #babe i said 'the bf is not allowed around here he scares me and u said ur broken up with him' #that was the thing i wanted you to do: not fucking invite him to WHERE I LIVED #godddd typing this shit out and knowing it's only 2% of what actually happened makes me feel pathetic #i can't believe i let you treat me like that. you were a TERRIBLE friend.

[jek11]

Lego Monkie Kid Top Tier Chart: except im being brutally honest

🏆S: you gave it your all- Lady bone demon.

🥇A: your given potential led to your position- Posessed wukong, Mei, Mayor.

🥈B: you had potential, but your a fucking pussy- Nezha, Macaque, (Samadhi fire) Mei.

🥉C: you’re only here cause you’re hot- Spider queen, princess iron fan, Syntax.

💎D: you spend more time on talking than fighting/you’re annoying as shit- sun wukong, red son.

💰E: You’re pretty useless/very little potential- little girl, mk.

🪙F: just throw the whole damn character away/below useless- Tang.

#Half of these votes are from twitters perspective #I’d say lbd gave them more character #so if mk had been possessed (he has been only manipulated by lbd) he would’ve been higher on the list #possessed wukong spent more time on fighting than talking unlike the original #the the mayor did have quite the mouth he still got his shit done #red son focused more on others than himself #the little girl can redeem herself #but I doubt she got passed down lady bones powers #the passed down powers should go to the mayor tbh #the mayor has been nothing but faithful to her even when she was locked up #all the little girl did was be a hostess #which isn’t much cause all she had to do was let lbd take control #and suffer unbearable pain (like every else has) #I have nothing to say about tang #him and his wasted potential #top tier #lego monkie kid #lmk mayor #lmk lady bone demon #lmk lbd #lmk macaque #lmk mk #lmk wukong #monkie kid mayor #lmk mei #lmk tang #monkie kid mei #lmk red son #monkie kid red son #monkie kid

[giantkillerjack]

Thank you, younger me, for drawing so many things in which the lines were never quite right. It is quite literally the only reason I ever figured out how to get them right.

#And I imagine future me will have a very similar thing to say when I am them and they are no longer me. #original #something about zyr improved composition and speed hopefully #i keep wanting to use she pronouns for future me. probably bc that is what i do for past me sometimes. #but i really don't think I'm ever going to want she her pronouns again #I still don't get my lines exactly how I want them a lot of the time but I am at a point where I'm fairly confident I can #produce nearly anything I see in my head and capture the spirit of it in a way that makes me proud. #even if it takes a really really long time sometimes. #and although I don't think the art I made growing up was bad i love the phrase #' the road to good art is paved with bad art.' I think I saw it in a video by Bobby Chiu? idk. #and I like it because whenever I'm not sure about what I'm making and I get to insecure or perfectionist about it #*too insecure #I remember that if I want to get good at the thing I'm struggling with I'm going to have to do it poorly or just okay a bunch of times #and that doing this is my ticket to this skill I'm placing value on. also doesn't hurt that Im drawing things I love and I enjoy doing it #although at this point I really really should just sit down and study leg muscles for like a hundred years #it's one of the more longstanding blindspots of mine. that and literally everything that is not people. #as in locations animals objects scenery... did you know that most graphic novels have some or all of those things??? #how homophobic that in order to show my characters experiencing such luxuries as plot action and context I couldn't just #drop them on a gradient and be done with it! #I've been drawing for like 20 years and only a couple years ago was i like... OH MY GOD I CAN'T DRAW A FUCKING TREE

[tabzanite]

sometimes it genuinely escapes me that i have an identity that no one else has

i am me, yknow

#When you take an original character and slap on a new race or feature of identity to them you're saying you cant make an original characte #character with that kind of value. #like sometimes i forgot not everyone else is bengali American and when i find another one out in the wild its like #woah.... woah hi #and then it really like hits me yknow #cuz i can be as homo as i want. its easy to find others #but to find a bengali person with similar interests to me? i don't have that #aint even gotta be bengali. love my pakistani and indian siblings #and ig seein velma doin the race swappy thing #at first i was like “bro does it really matter all that much man like its a shit show stop getting angry over it” i was #honestly treating it lik rage bait lmaooo i still dont think its fully processed its not #but then i saw another bengali dude talk about it. like actually talk about it #and then it hit me like. i am south asian. this velma is south asian. #but is she actually? is this character I am seeing right now #is this what people see when they learn i am brown? is this what they imagine? is this an actual brown women? #and the answer is no. maybe if it was mindy kaling then yes it would be #now i cant say race swapping makes me angry. i don't care bro #literally its so much more EFFORT to care and why should i it'll all die down when its over #hate watching does nothing but fuel the things you dislike #but ig i rlly like sat down and thought about it. like rlly think about it #this character. even if the original ip WAS south asian. or even if this was an original character #its not perpetuating what its like. no no no not at all #its just putting the label on #making it known and #i dont know man i never expected stuff like this to irk me #i saw the guy i watch say this that stuck with me #smthn like that #and idk man #sorry for the rant but FUUUUUCK its hit me my identity is my identity

[lavender---sunshine]

i am so deep in my feelings right now, i both sad and mad enough that i cannot sleep

#ive been angry oscillating between angry and sad pretty much the whole day #i had a rare saturday off and i feel like i wasted half of it for my mom and she didnt appreciate it #i wanted to take her to somewhere new for brunch and a cool bookstore and to get our nails donw #and she drove like 30 minutes in the wrong direction and wouldnt listen to me and tried to blame it on me #im not allowed to be sick on my own. she has to be sick too. if i have a headache so does she and worse #if im nauseous in the afternoon she 'threw up' that morning. she'll say its something we ate even if we ate nothing in common #ive broken our in hives that keep popping up and the whole day she was acting as if she was itchy too AND dizzy. #we had to stop multiple times because she was so dizzy. im not saying she was lying but it stopped her from cleaning #she didnt want the original breakfast place near the bookstore and salon and when we got to the second one it was closed #found a third but she didnt want to deal with parking. went to option 4 and she didnt like her food. #she also kept asking me what she was getting instead of just ordering herself. 'what was it that i wanted? yes can you tell her i want xyz' #(and let me just say i have 0 patience left for people who cant do anything themselves. helplessness is a hard hard no for me #we didnt go to the bookstore or the salon and shes like oh okay tomorrow. i told her i had plans and shes like oh you always make plans #with your friends and none with me. Girlfriend. what are we doing right now? #went home to try to clean up our apartment and got overwhelmed when i realized i have to do everything myself because she no help #while she laid down and watched pitch perfect for the 1000th time #im also trying to figure out how to tell an ex friend i dont want them back in my life because theyre so much work #but i dont have room in my life to have that conversation. im also probably going to start looking for a different job soon #i just want my parents gone. my apartment furnished. free time. and a vacation.

[shadowtraveled]

"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.

but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)

mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…

the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.

every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.

first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic

which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.

which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.

the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.

walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?

well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.

you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?

it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.

when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.

and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.

kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.

yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.

#dungeon meshi spoilers #mithrun #dungeon meshi #this has been rotating for a while but i wanted to check my evidence before getting into it thanks user angelspenance for posting that meme #half of this is just the text and the other half i'm sure has been said before but it's making my brain [radio static] so here this is #someone did for sure mention this but i do find it very cute that in his fucked up conjured world meant to portray his ideal reality #his teammates came to visit him. like part of the fantasy was then explicitly that they cared about him and were his friends. even though #he says he tried to see the worst in them. #hm it does feel important to note that i do also believe 100% in mithrun suicidality--his desire to be eaten does seem to focus a lot on #wanting it to be Over. wanting not to be left incomplete and empty anymore. #but that loops back around a bit to the hole in your heart that appears when you feel unloved. it's many things and the same thing at once #snakes #long post #severe problems #meshy