#AND accept the tool itself is a neutral thing

[lwoorl]

AI art isn't bad by itself, "It doesn't have the heart real art has!" and "It looks ugly!" are absolutely meaningless criticism, and "Maybe if we all work together and don't feed them these AIs won't success!" is wishful thinking. (Although it's still good practice not to feed corporations your information)

At the end of the day AIs are just a tool that won't go away by itself, and it does have its potential for good uses you know, there's no need to demonize technological advancement. The problem is that the industry isn't ready for its widespread use without causing great levels of unemployment, and that we don't have a good infrastructure to protect people's art from being used without consent.

At the end of the day what we need to push for is regulations and labor laws, framing it as an issue of robots vs humans is regressive, and demonizing the technology itself won't create laws around it. Stop fear mongering, stop getting mad at people who are excited about the technological advancement, AI art is here and it will stay and the technology itself is a neutral thing, now let's adapt to it and push for regulations.

#I've see so many post just crying their heart outs about how AI destroys and mangles other people's images #And like. I get it? No one wants to have their stuff being used without their consent #But these posts always take a certain robots bad humans good tone to them. A 'This technology is monstrous! it shouldn't exist!' tone #idk I think we can be excited about technological advancements #AND be aware we need regulations or they'll become and issue #AND agree the companies using the lack of laws to profit using them in immoral ways are fucked up #AND accept the tool itself is a neutral thing

[drdemonprince]

hi, devon. i’m a very socially anxious white autistic person who has been quite active in protests and some related events and actions the last couple of months. i really agree with your opinions on how white supremacy can shift our focus away from community, but i find it nearly impossible to actively parttake in community. i show up with a mindset of actively contributing but feel paralyzed when faced with the chance. i don’t really know how to make social connections in general, but i so badly want to contribute to community. i think white guilt kinda plays into things as well and that makes me so ashamed and then i spiral. ik it’s a lot but do you have advice on navigating a deep urge and feeling of responsibility (as it pretty much is my responsibility as someone who wants to fight for liberation) but feeling paralyzed whenever a chance to connect actually presents itself? i always end up fumbling and unintentionally rejecting people who try to connect w me as well. i used to be very politically active as a teen but that was through organisations with a lot of structure which enabled me to feel more able. i do whatever actions i can, but being hindered by my inability to form connections makes me worried i won’t be able to end up in the communities that fight for liberation in the long haul. i’m ready to this this for the rest of my life, but not alone.

I understand this feeling so much. Please keep at it. One of the biggest problems with the white supremacy brain disease is that it expects us to do more & more quickly than is reasonable or helpful to expect of a person. So it is very likely you are beating yourself up for not speaking up, for not jumping in to offer help, and for not asserting yourself to the degree that you think that you "should," but in reality many of those efforts would be misplaced or self-defeating if you were to embark on them right now. This is a long journey, and white supremacy culture believes in urgency above all things too, and so it's important for you to give yourself some grace as well as to accept that progress for you will be a long haul, and that's okay.

Many people have told me that becoming even a neutral member of a community as a white person is an uphill battle. So many of our impulses and the social tools that we wield actively destroy community. to learn to become a good community member, we have to listen and learn a lot, and keep showing up, and risk looking foolish, inert, useless, or whatever else we worst fear. If you're not doing much right now but still showing up, you might be a neutral member! That's a good start actually. Keep going.

Also try to keep an open heart and an open mind when people of color or longstanding members of the space challenge you, correct you, playfully tease you, or try to include you, even if it feels embarassing or like an attack -- it isn't an attack, but white supremacy brain will have you thinking that it is. If you read my essay Moments of Protest, I describe a moment like this at the Powwow I recently visited. Indigenous men singled me out, brought me into the dances, included me, taught me the moves, and gave me an award even tho I was doing a miserably bad job -- I was MORTIFIED and the white fragile person inside me wanted to run away and apologize for being so inept and never come there again. Instead, I pushed past my stupid ego and kept dancing and felt incredible gratitude in my heart. This kinda thing happens in a lot of POC-led activist spaces too. People will ask you your opinion, tell you how to contribute, correct you, include you, and it will humble you, and it will be scary at first, but do your best to just stick with it and stay present doing the thing, even if you feel red-faced and guilty. Slowly you will get more used to it and you don't reflexively withdraw or push people away. It took me no joke YEARS to get to this point. I used to flee instinctively or even be mad at people for bursting my self protective bubble. You can work through it.

A lot of my usual distress tolerance building advice also applies here (see my substack for more). But I think that if you are already showing up to actions a lot and are self-aware about it, you are on the right track. You just need to keep going. Attend organizing meetings, not just protests themselves if you can. Contribute your opinion when it is warranted. Don't beat yourself up for being silent sometimes and don't beat yourself up for disagreeing with people or having questions and your opinions. Accept conflict as a healthy form of intimacy and dont run away when a moment gets awkward. Just keep learning and retraining yourself and noticing the love that people show -- by offering food, by making jokes, by acknowledging your presence to make you feel welcome, by allowing you to be there and helping you to be a better version of yourself. we all have a long way to go in this work, but you can do it. you're already doing it! you got this.

[mxtxfanatic]

Another pro-reader tip for mxtx novels: they are all stories with clear-cut good guys and bad guys and a strong moral message, BUT you have to actually read what the story has to say about characters without taking anything at face value, relying on genre tropes, or using identities and statuses as shorthand to your understanding of the moral system and themes of the story. So no, most characters in her stories are not morally gray (though some are, most can be definitively categorized as either morally good or bad, and ALL of her main characters are definitively morally good), and no she does not write morally gray plots where “morality is just subjective!” If anything, the term I think people are looking for is “morally neutral” (meaning that the thing is not assigned a morality in and of itself) in many cases.

An mxtx character is never designated as good or bad based off their backgrounds or class: Wei Wuxian, Jin Guangyao, Shen Jiu, and Mu Qing all grow up outside of the elite class, but Mu Qing (eventually) and Wei Wuxian are unquestionably good guys while Jin Guangyao and Shen Jiu are unquestionable villains. Shen Yuan, Lan Wangji, and Xie Lian all grow up within the gentry class but are all good guys while Jiang Cheng, Jun Wu, and The Old Palace Master are bad. Likewise, life circumstances or tools don’t determine morality. In mdzs, the sword path (which is the orthodox one) is used to commit genocide by the general cultivation world just as easily as Lan Wangji wields it to protect the forsaken commoners. Wei Wuxian’s ghost path was created to protect himself before being used to protect others, but Xue Yang and the Jin Clan pervert it to cause mass destruction for their own wishes. In tgcf, Xie Lian uses his god powers to attempt to help the Yong’an people while the other gods simply collect worshippers to increase their power and oppress lesser gods. Every character I’ve listed minus the Old Palace Master has experienced intense trauma that has informed their lives and colors their morality, but it does not define why they have chosen to take on certain moral stances.

(This is not to say that mxtx doesn’t have certain tropes she dislikes, as she clearly hates the “dedicate their whole existence completely to another person” trope. Su She, a villain dedicated to Jin Guangyao, dies. Zhuzhi-lang, a sympathetic antagonist dedicated to Tianlang-jun, dies. Hua Cheng, A WHOLE LOVE INTEREST dedicated to the literal main character, dies a whopping three (3) times before he learns his lesson.)

Mxtx does not condemn those who stray from orthodoxy. In fact, every story she’s (currently) written is about the dangers of entrenched and unquestioned hierarchy and status quo giving way to corruption every time. She wants you to question the dominant narrative of the benevolent group who descend from on high to “save the ignorant masses.” She wants you to question the idea that the only people with the right of choice are those at the top of the hierarchy. She wants you to question the idea that even the smallest decision of “powerless” people does not matter in “the grand scheme of things.” She wants you to actually think about the story conventions that you accept as infallible and question whether or not it would make for good shorthand by which to understand well-written characters and story arcs (and also, hopefully, how society is structured at large). So if you find yourself reading an mxtx novel and siding with the mob characters or lamenting how x character was locked into making certain choices “against their will” or being unable to reconcile how a recognized trope led to an unexpected conclusion because “that’s not how it’s supposed to go,” then it may do you some good to stop and ask yourself “was this idea supported by the narrative that I read in the book, or is this an idea I’ve come to entirely from my own preconceived notions of how I wanted the story to turn out based on how other, similar stories have panned out?”

#human metas mxtx #mdzs #svsss #tgcf #and this isn’t to say that you can’t question mxtx’s choices #again her work BEGS you to do just that #but you can’t have an adequate critique of something you refuse to even see for what it is #if you are expecting a normative genre piece from mxtx #you will leave disappointed with the ways in which she specifically breaks those norms #you will walk away without understanding how or why she chose to do so #and you’ll misunderstand her intentions and her works by foregoing this understanding

[ladyzirkonia]

Mandalorian tenets or the six actions.

Early Mandalorian culture, originating with the ancient Taung species, was believed to have begun as a religious warrior society, War was practiced as a form of ritual worship to their multiple gods and because of this, many of the Mandalorians' earliest conflicts were seen as holy wars and their warriors known as the Mandalorian Crusaders.

After the Great Sith war where most of the Taung had perished , the Mandalorians began accepting beings of other races and species into their culture and transforming what it meant to be a Mandalorian. Those who considered themselves Mandalorian were bound by a single, unifying culture rather than any one race, and they believed that an individual was defined by their actions rather than the circumstances of birth.

Resol'nare

Young Mandalorian children were taught a rhyme to help them learn the tenets of the Resol'nare (basic: six actions) These six tenets defined what it meant to be a Mandalorian, and any who wished to be considered as such was expected to follow them.

Ba'jur, beskar'gam, (Education and armor)

Ara'nov, aliit, (Self-defense, our tribe)

Mando'a bal Mand'alor — (Our language, our leader)

An vencuyan mhi. (All help us survive.)

This code is self-perpetuating and was directly responsible for ensuring the survival of the Mandalorian culture and society.

Wearing the armor (beskar'gam or ''iron skin'')

Once Mandalorians reach adulthood, they assemble a suit of armor that suits their needs and skills. It is both a tool and a symbol of their cultural identity. Aside from its defensive capabilities, armor served another function: in a group formed from so many different species, often times it was only the armor that displayed an outward sign of the culture that bound these individuals together. The paint scheme of a Mandalorian's armor occasionally represented a soldier's state of mind, or their personal mission.

As many soldiers preferred the inconspicuousness afforded by camouflage, Mandalorians believed in the saying:

"It's one thing to see us coming, it's another to do something about it."

Speaking the language (Mando'a)

While most Mandalorians know and speak Basic and other languages, all are raised speaking Mando'a, the language of the Taungs. When among themselves, they speak Mando'a almost exclusively. The language itself is very fluid and simple, reflecting the culture of which it is a part, and like the culture, it has changed very little over the centuries.

Mando'a was often thought of as easy to learn, a trait highly desirable in a culture that regularly adopted adults from numerous races and species. But there were difference speaker of Basic had to adjust, including Mando'a's expression of tense, and its gender-neutrality.

It was not unheard for Mandalorians to speak other languages such as Huttese and Basic alongside Mandalorian as it was necessary to communicate with others when working as a mercenary or bounty hunter.

Defending oneself and the family

While the Mandalorians are best known as a warrior culture, they are also strongly family oriented. Each member of a family is expected to protect the others, garaunteeing their survival and through this, ensuring the survival of the clan and culture.

Adoption was extremely common in Mandalorian culture, to the point where even adults could be adopted. Because of the Mandalorians' constant connection to war, widows and orphans became an inescapable fact of life.

Contribute to clans welfare

Each individual and family is expected to contribute to the welfare and prosperity of their clan, which in turn helps provide for the family and individual as needed. This act is far from the socialist prop it first seems, as it is a neccessity for a society that spends a great deal of its time at war to provide for such neccessities as food, shelter and manufactured goods when a large number of a clan's adults are on other worlds fighting.

Raise children as Mandalorians

It is a Mandalorian's responsibility to raise children in the traditions of their culture. However this is not simply an imperative to breed, as it might seem on the surface. Mandalorians often adopt their children, caring very little for blood lineage and bowing to the neccessities created by their lifestyles as nomadic warriors. This act is a mandate to perpetuate the culture, as are the majority of the Six Acts, by passing it down to both offspring and adopted war orphans.

Rally to the cause of the Mand’alor

While the social structure of the Mandalorians is very simple, revolving around family and clan, each clan and family answering to itself, in times of war all families and clans are expected to answer a call to war by the Mand'alor, the leader of the Mandalorian people.

The old and the new way.

In order to retain their heritage in the face of outside influence, Mandalorians placed a high value on rigorously carrying out the Resol'nare's tenets in a daily manner. However, interpretation of the Resol'nare differed, and at least one group of Mandalorians, the New Mandalorians, potentially followed an alternate interpretation of the Resol'nare by doing away with personally-owned sets of armor and refusing to aid the Mand'alor.

The New Mandalorians was the pacifist movement who placed great importance on the virtues of pacifism, neutrality, and nonviolence rather than martial prowess and military strength as the Old Mandalorians did. They were led by a Duchess of Mandalore up until its dissolution following the coup in 19 BBY.

Similar to Death Watch, the Old Mandalorians were exiled from Mandalore, but unlike their Death Watch counterparts, did not seek vengeance on the New Mandalorians. Instead, the Old Mandalorians resettled in other parts of the galaxy and worked for the highest bidder, maintaining their Mandalorian warrior heritage as bounty hunters, mercenaries and other professions.

"Here's why you can't exterminate us, aruetii. We're not huddled in one place—we span the galaxy. We need no lords or leaders—so you can't destroy our command. We can live without technology—so we can fight with our bare hands. We have no species or bloodline—so we can rebuild our ranks with others who want to join us. We're more than just a people or an army, aruetii. We're a culture. We're an idea. And you can't kill ideas—but we can certainly kill you."

― Mandalore the Destroyer

#the mandalorian #mandalorians #mandalorian culture #mandalorian armor #foundlings #the old way #new mandalorians #satine kryze #mando'a #star wars #legends #mandalorian tenets #six actions #clans

[lilacxquartz]

Don't Make Me Feel Alive | Chapter 2

Kenjaku (Pseudo-Geto) × Fem!Reader

[This fic contains Shibuya Arc spoilers and is updated every Saturday.]

ABOUT: Diagnosed at an early age with an illness that slowly deteriorated your body; you went from being a promising sorcerer to a retired husk of your once former self until he found you, offering you an opportunity to live instead—not that you had a choice to refuse.

CHAPTER SUMMARY: You’re not sure how, but he did a good job in keeping you up and running, albeit on limited energy.

TAGS/THEMES: (in the future chapters): »yandere, chronically ill reader, forced dynamic, non-con, dub-con, violence, caretaking, unrequited feelings, sorcerer reader, dead-dove, mixed pov, potential interpretations of dubious sorcery«

Previous Chapter.

[Side Note:] extremely dubious sorcery up ahead, after feverishly researching cursed tools in jjk until like 3am, there doesn’t really seem to be any real limit, so we will pretend this all works. also his name isn’t revealed until the next chapter, so he’s just a he for now instead of kenjaku :)

***

2. Trial and Error

Reluctantly, you ended up accepting his help as long as he followed through with restoring you back to life, finding that to his credit, he proved somehow more capable than the hospital staff—his care actually keeping you in check and as a result, preventing the disease from completely claiming you.

His method of keeping you alive initially was through channelling energy into your body, pushing a small fraction into your core, forcing you to live.

However, while it proved effective, it was inefficient and unsustainable, even draining on him.

Luckily, he was quick to devise an alternative, just for you.

“This should do the job better,” he announced as he fastened a chain around your neck, a small item of some sort resembling an amulet weighing it down.

“And what is this…?” you asked, fiddling with the pendant as it rested slightly heavily against your chest.

“It’s a cursed tool containing a looping feedback of energy,” he explained, gently guiding your hand from the stone, not wanting for you to somehow damage it already, “you can draw energy from it and it will give you life, simply returning it to the pendant once you have spent it.”

“That… totally makes sense,” you replied, not following at all.

He rolled his eyes, wondering how to explain it exactly, putting on (somewhat) good behaviour while he still had you in his reach. For as long as you remained compliant, he would be neutral.

“Consider it a bit like breathing; it gives you energy that then returns to the stone that it then gives back to you.”

“And this will… this will cure me?” you asked with some hope.

“Not at all,” he replied rather bluntly, “but, it will prevent you from dying. Your disease, while incurable, won't be the cause of your death as long as you just keep this pendant close.”

“Oh,” you replied, knowing deep down that it was all too good to be true, after all.

“Also,” he spoke, still needing to hold your attention, “surprise, surprise—there’s a catch to it.”

“T-there is?”

“While it gives energy, it also takes away energy as it restores itself,” he explained as he held the pendant in his hand, “so there is a chance you will feel your condition in its raw form as it recharges.”

“Wouldn’t that kill me?” you warily asked.

“No,” he continued to explain, shaking his head, “the energy is constant, but it’s closer to being a battery, if anything. Just like when an electronic device powering down when the battery is low, doesn’t mean it’s nonfunctioning. So, I suggest sleeping during that time.”

“So, my condition will still continue to develop when this… ‘battery’ thing is recharging?” You asked, feeling a little defeated at the thought. While you liked the idea of staying alive, you didn’t like the pain during your down time.

“Correct,” he confirmed as his smile returned, “although there is a chance I might be able to prevent that in the future. Don’t get your hopes up though.”

A deep and heavy silence followed as you processed the words that he delivered, feeling equal parts relieved that you had an opportunity to prolong your existence so you didn’t have to meet a premature end—while also feeling defeated, knowing that the disease will continue to worsen as time passes you by.

All things considered however, you already were in the late stages of your illness as it already had done its damage, so technically speaking, whether it got worse or not, if it was somehow even manageable, then it wouldn’t have been for nothing.

All you had to do was help someone that you probably really shouldn’t. Besides, you felt normal right now, what if he’s able to fix that even further?

“Anyway, I want you to try walking,” he spoke up after a while, his hardened gaze relaxing as he longed for his experimentation to continue—feeling that this method was strangely humane for someone like him, he could have taken a more drastic turn with you, but he played the safer route for now.

The temptation to dissect you was still fresh in his mind though, wanting nothing more than to crack you open to prod and poke at your mind, maybe even finding some sort of anomaly that surgeons couldn’t but it was all too risky. From what he knew about your disease, it was a neurological flaw, so as to not damage your capabilities further, he refrained.

As a compromise, he settled on something simpler. A cursed tool was fine for the time being.

It would do for now, he thought.

Besides, it was actually sort of fun—as long as you were compliant. Had you not been so easy to work with, then he would have done more to make you give in. He almost felt disappointed that didn’t fight back more, wanting to mess with you until you gave in.

But, this wasn’t bad either.

He then observed you quietly as you fulfilled his request, slowly rising from the bed, making a mental note of each and every single movement you made. His eyes continued to glare over you, watching carefully as you gambled your own stability.

You gritted your teeth as you struggled to maintain composure, focusing all of your efforts into hopefully regaining control of your legs—being unfortunately familiar with the loss of sensation from time to time. Walking quickly became something you dreaded as the disease ate away at your core, exhausting you whenever you would try to fight it.

“You can manage a little step can’t you? I’m sure you’re not that weak,” he teased, offering you some encouragement to take a step forward, feeling slightly frustrated as you remained statued on the spot, too cautious to move.

Eventually though, you did finally take a step forward, finding that you could indeed walk, even if your legs did feel strangely heavy but you supposed that it had also been a while since you were last out of bed.

His gaze meanwhile locked on the pendant, observing that while you used up a significant amount of energy, that this might stabilise over time as you continued to train yourself to get back on track.

His end game was to harvest some sort of function from you come Halloween; the night that his long-awaited plans would finally take place. He had just under a year to build on those final details, having already found a set direction with how he wanted for this all to unfold.

This whole thing was just a what if—an experiment, a side project at best, so he had some time to spare, finding it almost fun in restoring a sorcerer, a challenge that he hadn’t yet attempted.

“Can you channel your technique at all?” he asked you, intending to try and test something out.

You nodded as you attempted to channel your own dormant cursed energy, feeling the life energy that you had otherwise lacked before. Your hands drew out wishing blue flames and upon forming the correct sign, electricity crackled at the edge of your fingertips—in turn, his dark eyes lit up with fascination as he continued to trial the limitations with you.

“So you aren’t useless. Now hit me with it,” he requested next, wanting to see if it would actually electrocute him or if it would feel like a tingle.

“Like… attack you?” you warily asked.

“I can take it,” he teased, a small arch forming on his lips.

He thought that it was actually kind of amusing that you were so hesitant to do so, especially considering the strange situation he had you tied up in. In his mind, you should want to grasp at the opportunity to attack him, not question the very idea.

You hesitantly nodded in response, doing your best to channel your cursed energy, locking it into a pointed sign, launching an attack that hit him with a crackle of electrifying energy—initially feeling pleasantly surprised that you were able to do so, but then feeling terribly wrong as something felt violently off.

Suddenly, your body was overcome with sweeping exhaustion; quickly draining you of the remaining energy that the pendant offered, leaving you feeling completely and utterly depleted. Your vision darkened next, pulling—pushing you somewhere unknown, not quite meeting with death but at least mingling with it.

Noticing this quickly, he took a step forward to catch you before you collided with the floor. He grunted as he allowed for you to fall forward with his body tanking the hit, your frame leaning against the front of his own for support—without realising he was doing it, he held you closer, finding that he actually quite enjoyed the warmth.

Perhaps it was the fault of the situation he had placed you under; spending the last couple of days tending to your needs, ensuring that your health wouldn’t continue to deteriorate. As a result, this pushed him unintentionally closer to you, taking on the role of a caretaker whether it suited him or not—and, as he held you close, he couldn’t deny that some sort of connection was beginning to form.

As you otherwise started to slowly stir back awake, he pondered the possibility of surrendering this responsibility to one of his subordinates instead, knowing that they likely had nothing better to do. Yet, the more thought he gave the idea, the more it didn’t sit quite right with him.

After all, they lacked the knowledge that he did, they wouldn’t know exactly what to look out for nor would they know how to lessen the pressure of your condition, should the pendant fail to do so.

It was simply better to do it himself.

This was his project to bear the burden of and he wasn’t about to let it fall into the hands of someone who would likely kill you out of negligence alone.

So no, he thought, settling on a firm decision deep within his mind, dismissing the idea completely. His subordinates would mess it up somehow, he was certain of it.

So as he guided you carefully back to bed, he gently laid you down and focused his attention on the pendant, wondering what exactly could be done to prevent another hiccup like this in the future.

Thinking that maybe he could change the function of the cursed tool, he plotted potential adjustments that could ensure a more steady flow of energy, thinking that it could in theory be an easy fix.

Noticing that you were now at least partially awake, he placed a firm hand down on your shoulder to keep you in place.

Studying the pendant with unwavering curiosity, he spoke up to you in a detached tone, waving you off with the flick of his wrist, “Rest for now. I’ll think of something.”

You listened as the exhaustion encouraged you to do so anyway, feeling the heavy weight of sleep anchor you down.

He watched intently as you surrendered to a deep rest as slowly but surely the tension you harboured washed away. With each and every single breath that you took, your bruised complexion slowly returned to looking healthier again—the pendant in turn glowed, pulsating a ripple of energy as it slowly restored your core.

He took note of the pulsating from the amulet, still not being satisfied with it. Ideally, he wanted for the glow to be constant but that was something else to work on at another time. For now, he focused on the output conducted by you before doing anything else.

His eyes continued to lock onto your sleeping body for what felt like an eternity, his own limbs growing gradually stiff the longer he stood there. He did so in order to monitor your condition and ensure that nothing else would go wrong, but at least for now it all seemed as stable as it could possibly be.

Slowly he kept creeping closer as you slept, intending to work on the pendant while you were out cold. Whether he intended for it to happen or not, your recovery room started to merge with his workspace, deciding that it was better to work on the battery as closely as possible rather than to risk a potential death from letting his guard down and as such, even if it took many hours on end, an adjustment was made.

Whether or not it was successful however, only tomorrow would tell.

And if the pendant was able to actually fuel life when it shouldn’t, then he would have made another breakthrough. He just had to refine it all a little first.

It was then that exhaustion caught up to him as well as he felt his host body reel in from such unrelenting overtime. He yawned as his eyelids fell heavy against his eyes and his movements became gradually sluggish.

Despite such overwhelming fatigue, he couldn’t quite bring himself to leave you alone by yourself, at least not yet, speculating that this early on that failure was right around the corner.

It had been a long time since he had included someone so personally intertwined in his plans and admittedly, he found your company surprisingly tolerable, if even enjoyable.

Not that he would ever admit such a thing to you.

If you ever asked him if he liked you, he would simply leave you alone for days on end just to mess with you.

(Just to make you miss him.)

#yandere kenjaku #kenjaku x reader #weekly updates #in which he claims to be on good behaviour but also takes the opportunity to lightly bully you at every whim #most of the tags start kicking in by chapter 5 i assure you #kenjaku x you #pseudo geto #kenjaku #yandere x y/n #yandere x female reader #yandere x you #jjk yandere #yandere jjk #dead dove fic #dead dove do not eat #dark fanfiction #dark yandere #dark fic #yandere x reader #yandere fantasy #yandere trope #yandere fanfiction #yandere #jjk dark content #yandere fic #xposted to ao3 #yandere jjk x reader #dead dove content #multi chapter #cross posted on ao3

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Can I please request 🤹📖🩹❤️

Please Stay a While Longer (Please Stay Forever) - Abner Krill/Reader

Warnings: Hurt/comfort, angst, doctor!reader, gender-neutral reader, no use of Y/N, S.T.A.R. Labs era!Abner, training injuries, brief implications of parental abuse/neglect.

Wordcount: 1600

Summary: He was in your office again today, and you really wished you'd never have to see him sitting there ever again.

Notes: If you wanna join me in the Misery Parade, listen to this song as you read ;w; this ended up being a LOT more angsty than I expected when I saw the prompts, but man sometimes things just write themselves and you gotta go with the flow, y'know? I'll do something more comfort than hurt the next time I get that prompt, I promise!

The sight before you was a familiar one, you’d seen it almost every day since you’d started working there a year and a half ago. You were in your office when they’d arrived, almost as if on cue, the clock reading just after 4PM; training had started an hour ago, 3PM sharp as usual, he’d lasted longer this time, but still, he was there all the same, outfit torn and body sporting new burns.

You’d commended him at first at the growing knowledge of his strength, impressed with his ability to hold it in as salve was pressed to circular marks, angry and blistered but never drawing blood, so unlike the people he’d gone up against. Now you just felt sad, knowing that it wasn’t strength, it was resolve, acceptance, something forced upon him so they could drag him out again the next day to do it all over again.

He was used to it, numb to it, that’s all it truly was.

His jumpsuit was undone and bunched around his hips as you examined him, his eyes anywhere but on you and himself as he occasionally let out the odd hiss or whimper when your medical tools poked and prodded a little too hard, a whisper of apology falling from your lips each time. You didn’t want to hurt him any more than he already was, you’d learned during your short time here that that was always a possibility for him and his siblings, but he’d gotten banged up pretty hard during the training session today and it needed to be taken care of before She let it get worse.

And She would, if you didn’t do anything about it now, he was only allowed to visit your little office because it was close to Her personal corner of the building and he complained too much otherwise, after all.

‘This will only hurt a little,’ you promised him, seeing the way he braced himself as his hand clenched over his thigh when you raised the antiseptic-coated cotton swab to his side where one of his older wounds had been reopened. The coldness of it made him flinch for just a second as you offered another apology, but he didn’t accept it, something like that was nothing compared to what he was there for. Thankfully, his powers would do most of the work, the colourful dots inside of him mercifully offering him the ability to heal faster along with the curse to destroy in an instant, but you still wanted to do this much for him before it faded away to yet another scar.

He was covered in them by now, the dots never breaking the skin unlike his targets but still leaving behind reminders that he hadn’t been careful enough, he’d been too distracted or tired or, worst of all, stopped caring enough to want to defend himself anymore, and you once again found yourself wanting to offer him more than just a fresh bandage and a silent wish (plea) that you wouldn’t have to see him again the next day. But it was an impossible dream, more impossible than the virus that showed itself under his skin if he didn’t keep training, lighting him up from the inside with the constant threat of bursting, his scars a mesh to hold it all in until they couldn’t any longer.

Your hands hesitated as the peroxide bubbled over the wound, your throat tightening as he waited patiently for you to be done so he could go back to his room and wait to do this all over again tomorrow.

‘Why do you let her do this to you?’ you couldn’t help but ask, fingertip brushing against the edges of a pale scar long since healed. He didn’t answer at first, you two never talked when he could get away with staying silent, and today your voice seemed to catch him off guard, your soft tone so unlike what he normally had to hear.

‘Do what?’ he asked back just as softly, like he truly didn’t know what you were talking about.

‘Hurt you like this.’ The liquid ran down his side and soaked into his outfit, three more polka-dots needing to be sewn into it to show everyone of today’s fumbles along with all the previous ones.

‘It was my own fault, I wasn’t paying attention, I’ll do better next time, I’m sorry.’ It came out so calmly, practiced like he’d said it a million times before and he probably might have considering who his mother was. It made your chest hurt to hear it, your lip quivering as you tried to be strong for him, but for all his silence and refusal to pay attention to himself, he was so observant of you, his eyes finally landing on the top of your head as you kneeled by the wax paper covered bed. ‘Why’re you sad?’ he whispered, like if he raised his voice any higher then his own might break, and when you blinked your vision blurred for just a moment.

‘If you could leave this place, would you?’ you wanted to know, his body stiffening in your peripherals as he thought about it, the silence stretching on for so long that it made you wonder if you’d offended him for making him think of freedom, of a life outside of the windowless room he called home, away from his remaining siblings and the woman who kept them all there.

‘I… I don’t know,’ he answered honestly, back arching as he slumped forward, his shoulders sagging and dark eyes so tired as you looked up at him.

‘Abner, you don’t have to stay here,’ you tried to tell him, your hand finding his on his lap, the first real contact you’d ever made outside of fixing him up; his fingers instinctively curled over you as he cautiously flipped his own hand to hold yours, probably the only kind touch he’d received in years. His eyes rested on your clasped hands before they finally met your own, a sadness unlike anything you’d ever experienced before hiding behind them making your breath catch in your throat like all the air had been sucked out of the room.

‘Yes I do.’

A tear rolled down your cheek before you could stop it, a miserable smile on his face at your empathy for someone as unworthy as him. The hand not holding yours reached up to brush it away before he caught himself, said sorry for touching you even as he held your hand a little tighter, unable to let himself let go. You let out a shaky sob as you rested your head on his lap, feeling him still again before letting his free hand lay over your head, almost pulling away at first before deciding otherwise. He ran his fingers through your hair, offered you comfort even though he was the one who was hurting, and you once again wished (begged) that you wouldn’t see him again tomorrow.

I love you, your mouth longed to say, you having fallen for him more and more with every visit ever since the first time you’d met him; your breaking heart was torn between longing to see him, this the only time he was allowed to leave the highly secured and reinforced floors he roamed, and never wanting him to have to visit ever again. Not seeing him meant he was fine, safe, unhurt for once in his life between the testing and the training and the pain and the loss that haunted him like a growing collection of phantoms. Not seeing him meant that he was okay.

You wanted so badly to get him out of there, to let him experience the world again after a near lifetime of knowing only this, but as you sighed into the costume that’d been so painstakingly tailored just for him, his rainbow-speckled prison suit with the gauntlets that allowed him not only the ability to destroy but also to keep himself alive as his silver slotted shackles that bound him to this place, to his siblings, to Her, you knew that it was impossible.

I love you, so please don’t go back there.

One of the scientists working for Her appeared in the doorway, still flipping through his clipboard and giving you just enough time to sit back up, his hands leaving you as he stood on command, suit back in place once more before you could finish your work; it’d still heal, but it’d be messy compared to the others without your bandages to shield him, the only protection you could offer as the man in the door motioned for him to follow.

He had a few more tests to do now that he’d ruined their training session, the man told him without even looking up, She wanted to see if exposing him to the dimension the dots came from again would allow him a little more resistance against them, maybe remove the need to expel them five times a day, your body frozen on the floor in the most unprofessional manner as he glanced back at you over his shoulder, a forced smile trying to tell you it’d be okay, he’d be okay.

‘Don’t go…’ you finally managed to say but it was too late, he was gone again.

It’d be okay though, just like he promised, you knew it would be as you curled in on yourself now that you were alone again, your hand burning like a peroxide-dabbed wound or a beautiful and deadly polka-dot.

He’d be back again tomorrow, after all.

#Ray's Readers #Ray's Requests #david dastmalchian #abner krill #abner krill x reader #the song I picked to write to was too powerful and I almost cried as soon as I picked the plot so that might translate TwT #okay I'm done writing now and I'm gunna CRY dude how did it turn out this way why am I like this

[dailyadventureprompts]

Adventure: The Grand Cathedral

All good things of this earth are made by hands at toil

Come in, ye weary, and be welcome in the home you have raised

-Words inscribed above the Lawberer’s gate.

Built to honour Trevennah the Arbiter, a saint of the goddess Erathis, this sprawling complex of temples and convents is a settlement unto itself, a waystation for those travelling through the frigid wilderness in search of home. Folk of all kinds make the cathedral a central stop in their routes through the region, be they traders, pilgrims, or nomadic peoples seeking a sturdy refuge during the harshest of the winter months, The Cathederal accepts them all, which does sometimes lead to monks and strangers living cheek to cheek for months of a time, giving the temple to order a rather chaotic air.

Adventure Hooks:

Just passing through, the party are helping an architect and lay brother  of the Lawbearer’s order map a few of the lower catacombs in preperation for a new expansion. a fire some decades back destroyed the records for exactly what sort of tombs, vaults and whatever other subterranean chambers might exist down there. This can make a great intro dungeon for first time players, giving them a chance to get to know eachother and share goals while fending off underground pests and the occasional rogue gargoyle.

Though the gods are ever present it’s said that they can hear us more clearly through their holy places, and in desperate need of the law bearer's guidance the party has decided to seek out the holiest place they can. Getting the attention of the goddess of civilization isn’t as easy as kneeling at an altar and reciting some words, and may be an undertaking of days, maybe even weeks. While spending some of their off hours in study or just looking for something to do one of the party will run into some monks loading tools into a local wagon: apparently a bridge in a road near by has broken and it needs some quick mending. It’s hard work, but if they volunteer their time, the handy hero might just find themselves working alongside a grey-eyed old woman who might lend an ear to their troubles.

The  has intrigues that stretch back generations, factitious priests, traders from warring nations, an indentured peasant class that chafes at the presence of outsiders . The only things to keep the peace is tradition and the wisdom of the ostensibly neutral Grand Matriarch, and she’s just been found murdered. Now with tensions flaring and fingers pointing, the party must find the true murderer before their one safe refuge from the cold burns itself to the ground. More on that Mystery Below the cut:

Setup: While on the surface the Matriarch was beloved by all, having given up her family name and dedicated her life to the lawbearer’s service, there’s plenty of folks who would have wanted her dead, creating a tangled mess of suspects and motives for the party to investigate. 

The local peasant population were once a pagan people conquered by holy warriors under the guise of bringing “civilization” to the savages. Though it happened generations ago, these resentments run deep, doubly so for the clan of nomads who’ve stopped in by the cathederal to trade, all of whom who have experienced the tyranny of the more zealous Erathians first hand.

Despite being a goddess of order and good goverment, Erathis’s clergy can be quite the contentious lot, constantly jockeying for position to ensure their interpretation of the Lawbearer’s will is the default. There are numerous factions within the Cathederal who wanted the Matriarch’s seat in their grasp, and are now squabbling to consolidate power.

The Cathedral of Trevennah occupies territory ruled over by a tyrannical Bishop-Prince, who has sent a zealous and determined agent to convince the Matriarch to hand over certain sainted relics as a sign of obesence to her religious superior. Just because the Bishop and the Matriarch worshipped the same god does not mean they’re part of the same holy order, and so the agent had lingered on for months getting slowly more frustrated as they were denied.

A visiting noble who happens to be the ACTUAL killer, despise feigning innocence. The Grand Matriarch was actually their elder aunt, who do to a stipulation in his mother’s will had inherited a large portion of profitable lands that were due to her before she became a dedicate. Fearful about his domains being bisected, this noble came to convince his aunt to put aside her plans to use the income generated from that territory for some kind of charitable mission, and instead give him his rightful due.  Striking her down in a fit of rage, the noble now lurks around the cathedral so he can secure the land’s documents and see them destroyed.

Other Npcs include:

 A Knight-Excognatia of the Cloven Shield order, a sort of wandering law officer who will help the party in their investigation. Should they prove themselves, this knight will take the party onto their next assignment, a small border kingdom beset by some kind of beast.

A highly skilled warrior woman serving as the noble’s bodyguard. A bit smitten with her lord, she’ll vouch for his innocence and honour right up until his crimes are revealed, at which point she’ll drop her blade where she stands and head off into the wilderness looking for redemption. Some time later the party might just find her leading a band of outlaws sheltering people from an ongoing civil war, trying to earn back her honour by any means she can.

The poor Architect Lay-brother, who will vouch for the party’s innocence to anyone who will hear and will try and give them what support he can while they untangle this mess. Some time later he will send the party a missive: he’s discovered something ominous down in the catacombs they were exploring and he’d like them back to help delve further.

#Press Start #winter #settlement #plains #mystery #dungeon #seeking communion #seeking healing #low level #mid level #temple #erathis #Cleric #chivalry #knights of winter

[monstersdownthepath]

Monster Spotlight: Nuno

CR 1/4

Neutral Evil Tiny Fey

Bestiary 5, pg. 132

Wretched little hermits who live in anthills, Nuno are a species of Gremlin, destructive and spiteful Fey that exist to cause misfortune and chaos. Unlike every other Gremlin we’ve seen on this blog before, though, Nuno... aren’t like that. They’re downright harmless compared to most of their kin, spending their days alternating between gathering food and peacefully meditating inside anthills or termite mounds and generally not really bothering anything that doesn’t bother them first. Their Ant Affinity keeps their tiny (or not so tiny) neighbors from ever harming them and allows the Nuno to command and even train them as though they were intelligent animals, and if you know anything about Pathfinder’s ants, it likely comes as no surprise to learn they’re often the significantly more dangerous factor whenever a Nuno’s antics draw a party’s attention.

Nuno are entirely harmless on their own, having only a slam attack that can’t deal lethal damage and no listed weapons or means to actually damage or kill another creature if they don’t have their ant assistants at their side. If something--even a commoner with a club--wants one dead, there’s little a defenseless Nuno can do to stop it, their meager DR 2 protecting an outstanding 3 hitpoints. They aren’t built to fight and aren’t keen on sticking around to try their hand at it, relying on being able to tell an aggressor is coming--usually via their 30ft of Tremorsense--and rapidly burrowing away from danger. Safely underground, there’s few attacks that can reach them, letting them bide their time until the ants drive the attackers off (or the attackers become bored and leave on their own). Should they be unable to burrow, their +14 to Stealth is typically enough keep them out of trouble until they can secure their safety.

As for why anyone would want to harm a creature whose entire evil plan is “play with its pet ants,” that would be because anyone a Nuno touches, anyone who touches a Nuno, and anyone who damages or steals the gremlins’ property--even accidentally--must make a DC 14 Will save (or 16 in the case of property damage/theft) or become afflicted with the painful and humiliating Nuno’s Curse. This curse triggers even if the Nuno is out and about, finding bugs and fungi to eat or feed to its pets, so anyone kicking over anthills or who picks up any curious tools can find themselves afflicted. The curse manifests as painful swelling, unseemly coarse hair sprouting at random, dark spots on the skin, and sores that regularly discharge unpleasant black pus. While mechanically it only inflicts a -2 penalty to Dexterity, the social effects are likely quick to become an inconvenience, especially since the curse is A) permanent and B) extremely difficult to remove. The DC to the check to remove a Nuno’s curse is raised by 10, raising it from 14 to 24, all but impossible for lower-level casters to be rid of without a pinch of luck on their side. 

However, there are ways around it. You can, of course, simply kill the gremlin, which ends every curse it’s ever created and uncurses all its belongings at once. But you can also reason with it, should your party not wish to kill a creature who--while Evil--tends to keep to itself. Nuno accept bribes of fruits, trinkets and gemstones, or interesting arguments and side-splitting jokes... and if a particularly fetching Humanoid or Fey is the one negotiating, the gremlins are almost comically easy to convince, especially if their curse is the thing marring the victim’s beauty. Of course, regardless of if you’re going for Pacifist or No Mercy, you’ve got to find the blasted creature in the first place.

Unfortunately for the Nuno, they have a unique fey quirk that makes them easy to track for anyone with just a bit of prep. Any being cursed by the Nuno can spend a minute dripping molten wax into a spoon, then into a bowl of water. The wax curls into a shape that unerringly indicates where the Nuno is (if you’re closeby, it straight up points directly at it), and no matter what the gremlin does, it cannot avoid or hide from this Wax Locator. With a means to defeat its stealth and burrowing capabilities, all that’s left is deciding whether or not the party is morally okay with killing it.

Maybe after the third ant swarm, they’ll be more amenable to the idea?

You can read more about them here.

#Monster Spotlight #CR 1 to 5 #Pathfinder #Dungeons and Dragons

[sweetyluvs]

𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒

[1.0] I don’t get to answering requests as often as I used to, so if i don’t answer your request for a couple months don’t worry, i will most likely get to it! If i don’t ever answer your request, it probably accidentally got deleted so feel free to request it again!

[2.0] some things like Abuse, manipulation, references to sexual themes and mentions of gore will be found on my blog. They are tiggers for some people so I will put warnings, but if i ever forget, please feel free to let me know!!

[3.0] i will write smut, but some rules for requesting it is; no minors in the sexual part story/no minors reading the story. Nothing that includes either R or the character to not consent to the sex, and nothing like rape or incest.

[4.0] I’m not super selective with my requests, but I will only do the ones that i find i have motivation for— only because i don’t want to complete that request with a poorly written story.

[5.0] please do not copy, translate, transfer, or claim any of my work! If you would like to, please ask me. If i say yes, please give me credit.

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄

[1.1] I will accept a decent amount of requests. I like a lot of themes, I am not that picky! Dark themes, mentions sexual content and more are welcome, But only with appropriate characters. Feel free to speak your mind. REQUESTS ARE CURRENTLY CLOSED.

[2.1] I don’t have a problem with tropes. send me any tropes that you can think of and i will read it over and consider writing it. Any tropes are fine; enemies to lovers, lovers to enemies, friends to lovers, mutual pinning, fake relationship, secret dating, friends with benefits, and more.

[3.1] I will write a variation of things; angst, smut, fluff etc. you can request anything, but try and be specific when surrounding the angst and fluff.

[4.1] writing about sensitive and triggering topics (abuse, sh, mental health, etc) is fine with me, but only if it is an important asset to the story itself.

[5.1] writing gender neutral & non binary readers is not a problem only as long as they are specifically requested as such.

[6.1] i only write for female characters. so please do not request for anyone with any other gender than female.

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈 𝐖𝐎𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄

[1.2] Anything regarding rape, incest, pedophilia, or necrophilia. I find that stuff to be very gross and if you are interested in any of that stuff in at all, please get off page.

[2.2] I won’t write any mentions about nasty bodily fluids such as urine, vomit, feces and such as.

𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐎 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓<𝟑

[1.3] first off, go to my inbox

[2.3] you can say hi or get straight to the point, but i like talking so i also like hellos :)))

[3.3] begin with who you want me to write for and the reader. (2 EXS. Ellie williams x fem! reader & Ellie williams x fem! singer! reader.)

[4.3] then, write down what trope you’d like, which could include friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, strangers to lovers, something like a platonic relationship even, or just smut (be detailed)

[5.3] now, as the final part, I’d please like to insist you write what happens in the story. instead of j saying “ellie x fem reader fluff?” I would appreciate something more descriptive, and it does not have to be long.

[6.3] put it all together and ask!

𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐒 𝐈 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑

THE LAST OF US

STAR WARS

THE WALKING DEAD GAME

HORIZON ZERO DAWN & FORBIDDEN WEST

ARCANE

AVATAR: THE WAY OF WATER

SPIDER-MAN: ITSV & ATSV

all rights reserved © clemsgff 2022

note: all my masterlists, along with other links & tools, can be found at my blog navigation

#rules and guidelines

[im-the-j-in-anthony-j-crowley]

The institutional problem

I think one of Metatron's phrases that makes me think the most is the one where he says that sending people to hell twice would make it an institutional problem. Because in that he is absolutely right, doing it twice would confirm that the problem is institutional. But doing it once still proves that, it's just easier to excuse

From the beginning it was not the right answer to dismiss them. Especially when we know that there is at least one demon that was taken out just for asking questions.

There are two other publications where I talk about the hierarchy of both heaven and hell. They might be of interest

I feel that what happened when they expelled the demons was that they took every angel who had committed the slightest revelation and branded them as the enemy. In the hope that all those who were left would be able to do the job, for all eternity. And never to reveal themselves

That is the reason why demons are seen as inferior. Because you should not consider being able to be like them.

But in the end, you can't hold that kind of idea for eternity. Not when you have demons and angels interacting with each other. Not when you have god talking to satan as if they're equals

We see demons and angels interact. We see how they talk to each other under very specific circumstances. The only problem is that the only ones who can make an institutional change are the angels. Because they are the only ones inside the system.

When you are outside the system, the only way to bring about change you have is:

A.- Destroying the system and building a new one (Armageddon).

B.- Convincing the members of the system that you are part of it and deserve rights

In the series itself option a has been discarded multiple times, and I feel it should stay that way, and it will stay that way. So I'm going to talk about option b

We know that the ultimate goal is for humans to be seen as equally rights-worthy entities, which is what Crowley and Aziraphale are trying to do. But I feel the issue that is not talked about before that, is that even before you get that acceptance, you need demons and angels to accept each other as equals. You're never going to get angels to empathize with humans when they're not even able to empathize with demons who were like them. The ones they worked with for who knows how long.

We have no example of a total acceptance of demons and angels as equals. We have two examples that are close to being so, but neither of them is total acceptance.

In both examples, humanity is the meeting point. It is the neutral territory. But both are examples of different ways of looking at humanity.

And then we have Crowley and Aziraphale, who connected on the basis of seeing humanity as equals. Who spent 6000 years deconstructing the ideas they had and learning to accept humans, and themselves. They haven't succeeded yet. But they are getting closer and closer to it.

For Gabriel and Beelzebub, Earth (and humanity) are the means to an end, they are simply the place where they can converse while ignoring their responsibilities. Yes, they connect a bit with the human stuff. But they never see them beyond a tool to an end. They connected based on the responsibilities they had in their respective positions, and it was the desire to be together that made them find a way to be together. That's why I don't think any of them end up seeing the institutional problems for what they are. They simply saw the system as something that did not allow them to be together. Ignoring all the other problems.

More about my vision of them here

I think the institutional problem is heaven defining as wrong every single thing that challenges them, and defining them as irreparable and deserving to be discarded. That everything is means to an end, and that if something can't reach that end, it doesn't deserve to continue.

I feel that the solution to the institutional problem is heaven accepting demons and humans as beings deserving of rights.

And I feel that this implies that what is about to happen is that we will see many more demons, and many more angels

#good omens #good omens season 2 #good omens demons #good omens heaven #good omens 2 #good omens meta

[micahweil]

<<You're...you're being serious, aren't you?>> The other-planar being, form shifting and scintillating unnaturally, seemed confused by the mortal before them. There were usually screams of terror, attempts to flee, or at worst, attempts to do them harm. This one was different; their usual introduction of "be not afraid" didn't draw so much as a shrug.

"Very much so," the mortal responded, almost coldly. "I understand what you are offering, and I accept."

<<Without question? Without fear? Without wonder if I am telling the truth?>> It shifted again, its colors bleeding into a concerned shade, reflecting how it felt.

The mortal sighed. "I'm tired. Do you know why I'm tired?" The being remained silent. "You are offering me the power to change the world, correct? Well, the world needs changing."

<<That is correct. That is why I am offering you what I am.>> Its form warped again, taking a more inquisitive color. <<Every time I have been sent to offer, though, everyone has had an unfortunate response. Screaming, almost always, sometimes fainting. The offers are met with fear, if not outright hostility>> Ephemeral streaks of red coursed over its surface. <<I have been called a demon more times than there have been people in your world>>

"I do not doubt it. Especially since such things could be used for immense evil." The mortal shifted on their feet, trying to make sure they wouldn't hurt. "Yet...the world is overrun by evil, would you not agree?" The being's form untwisted itself, neutral tones bubbling up to its surface. "S'what I thought. Frankly, I'm glad you understand. But, at the same time, I've thought about it. A lot. It's why I'm tired. And I've only come to one conclusion." <<And that is?>> "Evil must be used to defeat Evil." The mortal held up three fingers. "I see one of three things happening here. First, you are, in fact, a demon, and this is to tempt me into doing even worse things. Second, you are on the side of Good, but cannot affect the world directly. This is your way of getting around that, and I am to be your tool for good. I will be absolved of any wrong doings, so long as things are corrected." <<And the third thing?>> "I am going to be held accountable for my actions. Anything I do will be used to judge me, and I am likely going to be sacrificing myself to an eternity of punishment because I am going to do with it what I feel is correct, no matter how vile the actions are. Am I correct?" The being had fully inflated, and was a beige, floating orb before the mortal. No answer came from it. "Which brings me back to being tired. I am tired of the Evil. It needs to go. The consequences don't matter. If I'm to suffer so everyone else's lives are made better, so be it."

<<I Understand>> The mortal held his hand out. "Then I accept your gift. Now, come along. I have some ideas. Let's change the world."

#story time #short story #fiction

[vinhmakesanexperimentalfilm]

Proposal

Vinh Nguyen [email protected]

Working Title:

I Had To

Software, Material, and Technical Needs:

Program: After Effects, Premier, Pro Tools

Technical Needs: Mix Pre, A few old TV’s, and a Projector.

Found footage of old childhood tapes potentially

Medium(s):

Found footage. Projection.

Installation:

I’m not sure how many TV’s I would want but I want an old TV or two to be sat in between a projector and backdrop. It’ll have a loop of found footage (most likely a snippet of what I use within the film) playing while the projector projects repeated words onto it and as well as the backdrop. The TV(s) will cast a shadow on the backdrop itself and inside I want a little note to be hung with a little note. Maybe the message will say something provocative like “I’m not okay but, I have to be”. 

Aesthetic:

I’m going for a real “crunchy” found footage look when it comes to my visuals. Repeated words on a couple of screens aided with a projection on top of old TV’s. I haven’t solidified colors yet but, I might do something like a neutral yellow or muted oranges. Something that symbolizes the draining feeling of day to day mindless tasks. 

Pick a theme(s):

A monotonous lifestyle with a hint of grief and, maybe/possibly, a hint of commentary. 

The Written Proposal:

With this film I want to tackle a couple of things: As you know I want to make a film that can represent the monotony of living a day to day life. Something akin to feeling like a robot. That monotony can stress and stress until something breaks and all those unwanted thoughts and feelings find their way in. I want to achieve this exact feeling with this film. There are ugly things we tend to forget or shove aside and they don’t find their way in until we’re vulnerable to them. And ultimately we either run from them or accept them and walk with it. I want to reach a conclusion with this piece. I want to be able to let those thoughts wash over in that moment of vulnerability and come to terms and accept them. Maybe not a truly happy ending but more of an acceptance. Because I want to bookend the film with a similar repetition but, instead of it feeling like a slog, maybe, perhaps, it’s repeated with a certain resilience. 

There are many ways I wish to execute this film. One of the ways is to use found footage that can represent the repetition of a day to day life. I don’t know what’s at my disposal but a few obvious ones that come to mind are things such as: A populated highway, people walking in the streets, people working (factory workers would really drive this home), and similar things of that nature. Things that feel cluttered and busy almost to a point where it feels suffocating. And when the film enters the vulnerability state the footage used will be something that’s less beat to beat and more space in its moments. Visuals that linger just a tad too long and evoke this sense of fear or danger. Something like a slow crawl toward an edge of a cliff or potential use of empty liminal spaces. Another visual aspect I want to use to supplement the found footage is the use of repeated words on a couple of TV screens. I want to touch on this fact that the more you tell yourself something the more it can become a lie. That at first the lie can act as a shield to motivate resilience. But eventually that lie can crack. Coming to the question of what happens when the lie that has kept you going doesn’t help you any more? 

As far as sound goes I want to do my own sound design. This will range from recording my own voice, editing, and even a song to go with it. I’m thinking of something like a repeated note of some sorts that can eventually turn into something haunting or melodic when the flow of the film starts breaking. I want the sounds to be very glitchy and crunchy. Almost like the speaker’s voice is deteriorating as the film progresses. Specifically when we get to the breaking point where the sounds and voice will be moving around the audio space. 

The script will be a spoken poem. Specifically a revised poem titled “I Had To”. It’s a poem that deals with similar themes of repetition in life to the point where it will break you. The pressure of doing something over and over again cracks any strong will and invites these unwanted feelings. Before the revision the conclusion of the poem was to accept these feelings as law with a negative outlook. But revisiting it years later with a mature mindset I’ve revised it so that the voice of the poem chooses to sit in these feelings and comes to terms with it. It’s been a very cathartic journey looking back at what a younger me was feeling and how far I’ve come now. While not overcoming a lot of these emotions, I’ve definitely accepted them rather than run.

[the-tempest-divine]

There really is such a thing as spiritual psychosis that takes us too deep down the rabbit hole and to extremes.

It's maddening in many cases.

The human mind is a vulnerable thing. It's easy to manipulate and it's hard to discern truths from the elaborate illusions.

This whole great time of great awakening and awareness isn't the first rodeo this planet has been through. Each time a wave of awareness reaches humanity, outside entities swoop in and dilute it, mask it, and reform it into yet another delusion. Then we're all lulled back to sleep for another few decades or more until the next opportunity to wake up comes along.

This time, it has been a bit more intense, yet the same patterns have repeated itself. There is more of an uproar and fight this time around, but the one thing that seems to be different is the madness that has seemingly plagued the collective.

In this shift, we learn truths about this world and ourselves that we have a hard time understanding and processing. It's almost unbearable in many cases as people do not have the tools to mentally process things properly anymore.

The majority of people have become more introverted, isolated and more disassociated.

We're more and more fragmented within, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It doesn't help that humanity has become more divided collectively. Everyone claiming they are right in what they believe to be truth about anything and everything, refusing to step back with an open heart and mind to observe everything from a completely neutral point of view.

There is a mess of new mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical issues that we are dealing with, and no one knows what to do about it. We're in so deep that we don't even know that we are in so deep. It has become the norm. This is how it is now.

Instead of realizing the root of it, we just deal with it and give ourselves a pat on the back wear it like a badge. This isn't a judgment on the said issues, the point is that we should realize what we've become and how we've been programmed to think this is acceptable when we are in fact not as limited as this. We are sovereign being. We are sacred beings. We are truly limitless. We are divine, and yet we are settling for much less. We are accepting the diagnosis of different issues of our mental and emotional health. We're settling for being lesser than what we truly are.

These 'issues' that we now proudly allow to label ourselves with were once called 'ascension symptoms'. The 'extra sensory' issues were once the effects of the awakening process. Becoming extra aware of our surroundings and of different dimensional plains. Becoming more spiritually aware, connected and tapped in, now has become some neurodivergent issue.

There is a lot to unpack. A lot to observe. With this said, a lot of us have felt disillusioned, confused, frustrated, lost, angry, resistant, and a huge disconnect and void. We're not living the human experience anymore as far as truly LIVING. There is no joy in the simplest things anymore. Our families/friends are so divided, or we just don't feel like we resonate anymore with them. Nothing in common, feeling like no one would understand, etc.. We don't even understand ourselves; how do we expect anyone else to understand us?

We can't enjoy anything in this world anymore because of what we've learned about them and what we're told to believe about them. There is a difference. A seed of truth gets sabotaged with embellishment and exaggeration. Then, complete lies are thrown in the mix, and no one knows the difference. Then everything is wrong. No more joy in the simplest things because this world has been completely tainted and ruined for us.

We're too isolated and disassociated from family and friends now due to the differences in opinions or lack of feeling we've anything in common anymore. There is such a disconnect from everything, including spirit and energy. We're not only isolating ourselves, but we're being also isolated by outside sources to keep us from expansion.

I don't see people talking about the magical experiences they have nearly as much anymore. I don't see the amazing pictures taken with inexplicable phenomena in them anymore. I don't hear the fun glitches in the matrix stories anymore. I'm hearing it from clients, but I don't see people sharing it here anymore. I don't see the videos of people sharing these stories or pictures with excitement and wonder anymore. It's like everyone is dead inside and have lost their passion for such things.

I can't say where the world is going as far as the will of the collective. We could get a lot more done if we could find our way out of the smoke and fire that we've created for ourselves. It's a matter of will. The thought of actual freedom from what keeps us from crossing from one world into another is such a foreign concept. We don't know what we would do without being told what to believe, or how to behave. We can't fathom a world where we are all unified and One again, remembering ourselves as sovereign divine beings that are all from the same Source. Coming here with that amnesia and figuring out how to break out of that and breaking the quantum barriers is one difficult task. It's possible and we have all that it takes. We just don't.

[perpetual-fool]

Morality

(12/19/22*, 1.5k) I think to resolve my feelings about the past, I need to work out my own understanding of morality. I've never been able to make any coherent sense of what others consider right or wrong. It seems like it's just all wrong. Unless it isn't?

So, what is good? I've tried researching what core values people may have, and found a couple of hypothesis that seem decent: Self-Determination Theory and Consistency Theory. But I was never able to confirm much of anything because I only felt bad. I also got a huge list of stuff someone told me they personally value. But I don't think, biologically speaking, there can be all that many things. Take for instance, the thousand different genres of music. I don't think evolution would have had long enough to give anyone an inherent preference for Korean Jazz Metal or some such. I think there could only be a handful of values, maybe just expressed in a broad variety of ways. Here are some guesses as to what those might be:

Aesthetic? Beauty, but in a broad sense. Could be the way something looks, or possibly how something is organized. What I've noticed: certain types of music I find engaging. Notably, Tool, but generally anything Maynard does is interesting to me. And conversely, it's painful for me to hear people sing badly. And it's offensive to me to hear singing or playing which is competent but ruins some other aspect of the song. And conversely to that, things done badly on purpose in a competent way are enjoyable; Neil C's version of "Fly Away" for instance.

Belonging? Being understood and accepted by others. What I've noticed: when I've believed I was understood I felt better. And when people said they understood but demonstrated that they do not, that was crushing. The magnitude of that being relative to how significant the person was to me.

Competence? Being able to do things. What I've noticed: when I've found information I can actually apply immediately, it was very engaging. When I come across information I can't apply, it doesn't interest me. And when I run across information that I could apply except it doesn't work, that's infuriating.

Understanding? Making sense of things; having a mental model that matches the world. What I've noticed: piecing together theories about the universe is intriguing. For instance, dark matter being an explanation for why, based on our model of gravity, there's too much gravity in the universe. Supposedly. There might be more stuff and we just can't see it, but also it could be our model of gravity is wrong in a way that only breaks on a very large (or small) scale. And conversely, not being able to work out how information fits together is taxing. For instance, trying to figure out the organization of the Linux filesystem.

Security? Thinking things will be okay; anticipating good things and the lack of bad things. What I've noticed: when I've had health problems and doctors who either seemed incompetent or didn't explain things, I would dread what might happen. But when I had one doctor actually explain things and show me a bit about what he was looking at, I felt relieved and comforted about the issue.

These are my fundamental 'goods’. They seem to come in variants of good, false good (which is bad), bad, and false bad (which is good). And then, moral behavior is simply anything that promotes good or hinders bad, immoral being the inverse.

You may have noticed, if you looked it up or were familiar, those theories I mentioned aren't actually about morality. The concepts generally used to refer to moral issues don't seem valid to me. Deception, for instance. Deceiving someone in a relationship is bad, but deceiving someone at a magic show is good. That's not nuance, that's just a bad model. In one instance someone gets hurt, and in the other they're entertained. It's those things that are actually important; deception itself is a neutral party.

So now, I hope, instead of saying to myself "you're a piece of shit" I can ask "was that promoting bad or hindering good?" If nothing else I can at least have an answer as to how what I did was wrong. And I can move on.

---- Edit: okay that's not quite enough.

What makes a person bad? I'm not sure how I feel about this; I've pretty rarely thought a person was in themselves bad. But I've long considered my father to be my personal archetype of evil.

He's not that terrible as far as people go, just had a severe effect on me. And I don't know how you'd go about comparing different sorts of bad. Mostly it was forcing me to do things and yelling at me for being autistic. The stuff wouldn't have been that bad were it voluntary, if I could have done it my own way and had the reason for it been explained to me. For instance: mowing the lawn. If I had been able to go out in the cool of the early morning and do the work with a scythe and a half-moon edger, that would have been comfortable enough. But no, I had to drag that foul-smelling gas mower up and down that hill, balance that stupid heavy edger on two wheels. Choking on dust and the stench of crushed grass, the dirt in my socks grating on my skin. All of this under the heat of the mid-day Texas sun without so much as a hat, and with no reason why any of this has to be done in the first place. The yelling was about stuff like: I didn't read his mind and I did what he said instead of what he wanted; "Why can't you be more like your sister!" And while he was yelling at me I was very uncomfortable, I was fidgeting and not looking at him in the eye, so he yelled at me about that too; "You're not paying attention!" All of this implicitly backed by threat of the belt. Though to be fair, I didn't get hit that often. But I'm told that was only because it didn't work on me.

And what am I to make of this? Causing bad is certainly part of it. Though I don't feel like simply deliberately doing bad is evil. As if bullying is bad choice but not a bad person, for instance. Nor do I feel being wrong is evil; attempting to do good but failing. The only thing I really feel is evil, is doing bad having decided it is good. Perversion? is there a better word for it?

So I'm not evil, I'm just a failure.

---- Still not enough apparently. I think my feelings want to avoid the bad thing in the future. So I need blame.

The issue has been, broadly, saying or doing the wrong things, but being unable to figure out the right things. Even if I could go back and do things better knowing what I know now, I didn't know what I know now. It hurts for some reason, to think I might not be to blame. Other people never gave me what I needed. Even when I was of the state of mind to ask, they either wouldn't or couldn't do it. You came the closest, Morgan. But usually the response was to tell me I'm wrong or to say nothing. There was nothing to work with.

Again, this hurts my brain to even consider: was it their fault? This only seriously crossed my mind once before, when I lashed out at Ash. I think I have to say, yes. I can't figure things out if no one explains them to me. I could have phrased it less harshly but.. well, no, I couldn't have. I was completely overwhelmed, not in control. And my feelings were the very thing I had trusted you with. I needed help and instead I got "you knew it was wrong". I felt guilty because I had been unable to stop my emotions from pushing me into something. It probably was wrong, but I needed to understand it. That night was.. bad. Apparently, I stand by what I said to you. It's your fault?

There's also the possibility that it's purely the fault of circumstance. But people responses are almost universally the same; it would be extremely unlikely that I only happened to run across people who were also broken. Maybe in the sense that other are wired differently, circumstance is to blame. Though that seems like a slippery slope towards "blame is a meaningless concept because we live in a deterministic universe and free will isn't real". Maybe true, but it's missing the point the mechanism.

So, it's not my fault? It's not my fault.

It's not your fault, *Arden.

#Morality #personal #autistic

[goldkirk]

it’s my first day of trying assignments for art therapy! my thoughts on what I kind of realized today are in the tags if you want to read 💛

#katie only look at this tag when you’re in a good and SOLID headspace with not much vulnerability to sudden feelings hijacks #I’m embarrassed and super insecure about showing anyone any art I ever do because I stopped learning at about 10 and decided I was #a SHIT drawer but like. I need to work towards open-arm accepting every part of me as the state it’s in right now and THEN I can work on #improving or changing each part and I need to work on not thinking I am categorically #incapable untreatable insufficient inferior disappointing and never as good as anyone else #because that’s untrue black and white thinking and I am the only one who can love this body the way it should have been loved when I was #younger and taught to hate it and be terrified of it and treated it badly #this year is a LOT of effort in several different areas to slowly feel neutral about myself #…among a lot of really really hard neurodevelopment catch-up work in therapy…bruh… #…brain surgery on your own self without tools to use and having to only use single electrical pulses from where #you’re stuck working within the area itself—it’s so exhausting. like SO exhausting I thought my brain was totally spent and dead a few #times over the years but I truly don’t have the words to describe how the effort of developing or RE-building parts of my brain/brain stem #is. the best I can do is compare it to the time after you’ve found that a ship that you’re in that’s got holes and bent beams in a storm and #is slow-flooding—that’s the ship #/!;and you know it has to BE fixed and you’re the only one there so it’s gotta be you but you DO have instructions from a helpful #coast guard officer who you FINALLY made radio contact with and he’s your only instructions but he’s a lifeline bc of it #so you’re in this ship and you’ve gotta fix it and the officer tells you all the things you have to do like un-weld an entire damaged #bunch of panels from the hull so you can bend the beam etc etc #religion #and under normal circumstances that gets done but a team of five trained guys who’ve Got It and they have the power tools to make it easy #you are in this bungled ship with a few holes and flooded hallways and some major structural damage #and you have #one. single. screwdriver. for the first task. of undoing NINETEEN THOUSAND BOLTS #just to access the damaged area at all #and after THAT you can scope out the area and plan what you want it to be when you’re done #and THEN you do the final step of actually doing the repair and closing #that is what we do in therapy #and our daily lives while we PRACTICE all the things we’re told to try in therapy #katie does art therapy

[vicxy]

───── ❝ 𝓒𝓻𝔂𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓵𝓼 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓫𝓮𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓷𝓮𝓻𝓼 ❞ ─────

Hello everyone! This is my new crystal series! I sure hope it doesn’t flop lmao but yep happy reading, and let’s get into it!

What then, are crystals?

Crystals have a stable and unchanging energy pattern, each with a unique frequency and energy field, or resonance that gives them special properties.

In this post, I will be recommending crystals which are suitable for beginner crystal collectors! Keep in mind I’m not the best at these so feel free to add your own opinions! 💗

Disclaimer: crystals cannot replace medicine, don’t think that it’s an all rounding healing tool, it isn’t. If you’re sick, seek medical advice please!

Crystal #1: Clear Quartz

Associations:

Crown Chakra

April

The Sun (astrology)

All elements & zodiacs

Colours: Colourless or white

What is a clear quartz? A clear quartz is one of the most common and readily available crystals out there. Their energy resonates easily with everyone. It is a material made of oxygen and silicone atoms. Clear quartz is very versatile in nature and has many uses. It can easily adjust itself to fit with your energy, and was and is still used for healing purposes. Quartz amplifies energy, and is used because of how it stores, absorbs, releases, and regulates negative energy. It revitalised and harmonizes chakras, as well as strengthens and cleanses auras.

Some things that Clear Quartz aids us with:

Clarity & neutrality

Strengthening of will and personal points of view

Improves memory and perceptive faculty

Increases awareness & brings clarity in thinking.

Enhances energy flow and helps with psychic abilities.

Fortifies nerves, brains, glands, alleviates pain and swelling.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Crystal #2: Rose Quartz

Associations:

Heart chakra, sometimes throat chakra as well.

Taurus and Libra

Venus

Earth and Water

Colour: Rose pink

What is a Rose Quartz? A rose quartz is a crystal commonly associated with universal and unconditional love. It helps with self love as well as love for others! It has high amounts of energy which are soothing and calming. It can restore calm, balance, and clarity. It is most commonly used to heal wounds and open our hearts to all kinds of love. It also comforts us in times of grief, encourages self acceptance, and increases fertility, Lastly, it controls disagreements / personal conflicts, and gifts sound sleep.

Some things that Rose Quartz aids us with:

Supports relationships

Letting go of judgement

Supports positivity and suppresses inner critic

Sensitivity and empathy

Helps with sexual difficulties

Clearly illuminates personal needs and desires of others, harmonists heart beat, promotes strengthening of sexual organs & identity.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Crystal #3: Smoky Quartz

Associations:

Base chakra, solar plexus chakra

Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn

Earth & Air

Color: Typically brown-grey

What is a Smoky Quartz? A smoky quartz is a protective crystal which removes and dispels negative energy. It provides a protection barrier, and removes emotional and surrounding stress. It helps to ground us in meditation, brings in positive vibrations, and removes things from our lives that no longer serve us.

Some things Smoky Quartz aids us with:

Relaxation

Releases tension

Helps with stress

Enhances rational thought

Helps with headaches, tense shoulders and back, relieves pain & strengthens nerves.

Promotes a sense of serenity, positivity, and stability.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Crystal #4: Amethyst

Associations:

Third Eye Chakra, Crown Chakra

February

Air / Water

Jupiter

Virgo, Sagittarius, Aquarius, Pisces

Colours: Pinkish Violet to a deep grape Purple

What is an Amethyst? An amethyst is an extremely powerful crystal which has strong healing powers. It removes all sorts of negativity, like negative energies, feelings, etc. It can help with sobering one up and in some cases, alleviates insomnia. It is also good for meditation!

Some things that Amethyst aids us with:

Spirituality, spiritual awareness.

In some cases, it can help to open the third eye.

Promotes peace and serenity

Helps with focus + stimulation of the mind

Helps to develop psychic abilities, intuition and wisdom.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Crystal #5: Citrine

Associations:

Sacral chakra, Solar plexus chakra, Crown chakra

Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra

Jupiter

Air

Colours: Yellow / Yellowish brown / Smoky grey or brown

What is Citrine? Citrine is known as the crystal of abundance. It helps to attract positive things in your life, e.g luck and wealth. It has a very light and positive energy to it, and encourages sharing with others. It is also energising and recharging. It is sometimes known as the "light marker" as well.

Some things Citrine aids us with:

Helps to overcome fears by providing new experiences for us to unlock our inner wisdom.

Very protective, it absorbs and dissipates negative energy.

Gives courage to face life

Helps with self expression and confidence!

Lastly, it helps manifest wealth!

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

okay im finally done! I hope this was alright and that you enjoyed reading it! good day :) 💖💗

#astro notes #astrology #astrology observations #astro observations #thank you #astrology notes #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #astro community #crystals #witchblr #clear quartz #rose quartz #smoky quartz #amethyst #citrine #dont let this flop