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wood-white-writer · 6 months

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"Didn't mean to make your heart Blue" || [6/...]

— OPLA!Buggy x F!Reader

“On sunny days I go out walking, I end up on a tree-lined street. I look up at the gaps of sunlight. I miss you more than anything."

— Mitski, "Francis Forever"

Pairing: Buggy the Clown (Live action) x F!Reader

Summary: You were an apprentice of Gol D. Roger’s crew in your youth, long before his eventual demise. Along with the Red-Haired Shanks and Buggy, you were a formidable trio; the embodiment of a new generation of pirates yet to come. But times changed, and so did you and your friends. The crew arrives at the Baratie, and several things go down in a matter of hours. Decisions are made, both stupid and not so stupid. Old and new faces come back into your life, and unable to deal with the events in Orange Town, you handle it in the worst best way possible: through the bottle.

Warnings: Canon typical violence, fem!reader, LA!Verse, slight canon divergence, alcoholic indulgence on a catastrophic scale (drink responsibly ppl), blackouts, morally grey reader, violence, mentions of everyone (marine, fish people, pirates, etc.) having a past beef with Reader/"Cross-Hairs", Buggy POV in the end,

A/N: So, since this chapter was delayed, I think it compensates due to the fact that it is approximately 7k words long. The chapter jumps a little between the events of the Baratie, but there's a reason for that: the reason being that the Reader is shitfaced for most of the time during this chapter. Also, shout out to @ay0nha for putting up with my rambles during this period, really appreciate it XD

It hurts. Everything hurts. That’s the first thing he feels.

His feet, his back, his torso, but especially his head. It’s like a hamster is running on a wheel inside the bones in his skull, squeaking, chirping, driving him insane from the inside.

The wheel is pounding, and pounding until all he wants is to chuck that fucking hamster into–

“Hey, he’s waking up!”

Shanks? Why is he in his head? Fuck, he takes it back. The hamster can stay, rent-free, for as long as it fucking wants to, as long as it isn’t fucking Shanks—

“Buggy?”

On second thoughts, that voice doesn’t strike any sense of irritation with him. In fact, he finds it comforting, like the morning sun shining atop the ship deck. He doesn’t mind listening to that.

“Buggy?”

His eyes open, and he thinks he's seeing the sun for the first time. The sun and the moon, in fact, at the same time. Golden, blinding, warm, and cold, but he wants to watch them until his vision turns white and all sense of sight abandons him.

It’ll suck to be blind, but damn, what a hell of a way to go.

The more he stares, however, the more everything else falls back into place. He realizes it’s not suns he’s staring at, but two sharp eyes and a concerned face that makes him feel just as warm.

He’s in a bed, he finally discovers. There’s a pillow under his head, a fresh sheet up until his midsection which strangely smells of vinegar, inside a room he just now remembers is the Oro Jackson’s de-facto ‘infirmary’ which really is just an old storage space that was refurnished when they first got the ship.

There’s something wrapped around his head, tight but not too tight that it’s squeezing. It’s been done by precise and sturdy hands; a professional, someone who knows what they’re doing.

He blinks once, then twice, and everything around him finally settles. Including everyone perched around the bed.

“Ah, Buggy, my lad!” It’s hard not to recognize the booming voice of his captain, who proceeds to lean over him with his hands pressed around his biceps until the massive mustache trickles his chin. “Thought you were a goner for a moment!”

He kind of wishes he was one because the strength of Gol D. Roger is not to be underestimated. His ribs squeeze and it's hard to breathe, but out of respect for his captain, all that leaves his throat is a guttural groan that he hopes conveys the message clearly enough.

Gol D. promptly removes himself from his poor apprentice with his hands raised, and when he steps back, Shanks takes his place next to the bed. “Gods, Buggy! What were you thinking? You could’ve been killed! Rayleigh said you were lucky it was just a concussion!”

That’s when it dawns on him. Riiight, there was a scuttle. Some asshole pirates trying to ambush them, they picked the wrong fucking targets. Some … guy was flying over him? Did that happen, or was it just a fever dream?

He remembers kicking someone in the balls, and then … and then …

Lightning. Making its way for him as the darkness embraced his vision. A line of gold, straight as a sword, narrowing in on him.

Did it catch him before the darkness did?

He hopes so.

“Lay off me, will ‘ya!” he shouts at his friend, trying to get up. However, the fucking hamster wheel in his head keeps spinning until he settles back down against the pillow. “I was doing good!”

“Yeah, until you weren’t!” Shanks disputes and grabs his fellow apprentice by the collar of his sleeve. “I told you to fucking move, but it’s like you spaced out! She had to carry you all the way back here with your head all bleeding!”

Carry him?

He glances at you, finally. You’re sitting there, hunched slightly over the bed with those eyes looking at him, and he’s thinking you fucking carried him? It’s not that he’s ashamed, not at all, but if anything, he was always hoping the roles were switched.

He’d be the one carrying you. With your strength, he imagined it would be quite the weight to uphold, but he would do it. For you, he would move the seas if he could, Devil Fruit or not.

“Buggy, are you alright?”

You’re the one talking this time. Not the captain, nor Shanks, just you. The lighting is here, and he feels his skin prick. It’s electric. Cold. Warm. All and nothing combined. He could listen to it – feel it – for hours, days, maybe even years without ever growing weary of it.

He puts on his best brave face and scoffs, forcing his arms to cross themselves despite the surge of aches that rush through his body doing so. “Of course I’m alright! I’m Buggy! I bounce back, always!”

“Still,” your hands fall on top of his, and he feels his body freeze. “I was worried.”

“’Worried’?” Shanks cackles and gestures to you with his thumb over his shoulder. “You should’ve seen the damage she left behind. The entire place was smithereens, I tell you, Buggy! She knocked over those assholes like frickin’ chessboard pieces!”

“What did I always tell you?” Gol D. slams a hand on top of your shoulder, knocking you slightly forward. “She’s got eyes sharp enough to cut through steel, and pirates too, apparently.”

You laugh awkwardly. “I didn’t cut through them, really. I just … knocked them a little over.”

Shanks cackles. “Don’t be humble. You should’ve seen the guy who knocked you out. I swear, none of his bones were where they were supposed to be. He won’t be walking, or doing much of anything, ever again.”

Buggy can imagine it, but also not. He looks at you now, and he sees his concerned friend with those kind eyes that contain both the sun and the moon. He’s always known you’re strong – the strongest person he knows of save for his captain, but not unkind. Not cruel. Not sadistic.

Yet, if what Shanks just said carries any weight, it confirms what he’s always known.

You’re a beast, and beasts only follow their prime instincts. They don’t allow others to harm what or who they consider theirs.

And it means that you consider him yours.

Maybe in a different way than he’d prefer, maybe in a way that’s different from the kind he harbors towards you, but it still confirms he’s yours.

He will never want to find himself on the opposite side of that. Of you. Never you.

When he looks at you again, looks down at where your hand is pressed on top of his, he takes it in his own.

“I’m fine,” he finally says, his lip tugging in what is supposed to be a smile. “Remind me not to get on your bad side, though.”

You chuckle softly, and he smiles. Fuck, how can he not? He remembers it all so clearly. The way your dimples are shaped, the length of your hair, the soft tint of your lips.

“You? Never.” You finally say. “Never you”

---

You reflect on how it's weird that some things change whereas others don't.

Flowers prosper and bloom and die. The sun ascends, stays up for a few hours, then descends back into the horizon.

Friendships grow strong, stay strong, then they aren't.

Some things change, some don't.

Baratie being among the latter.

It's bright enough inside to momentarily blind you, just like it was a little over ten years ago. Save for new faces with the employees and some design choices, the overall place has stayed the same.

There are people there of prestigious backgrounds - both pirate and not - and you think of how receptive the restaurant must've been to make both parts come together without any regular scuttles.

A neutral ground for all to come and enjoy the feast. Well, that is the principle, but not everyone abides by it.

It’s been a while since you last visited the establishment, and last time, you were banned for life.

Frankly, you don’t recall much of the events; too drunk on rum at the time.

What you do remember is that it involved a few broken bottles of Baratie’s finest wine, some mashed-up furniture, and cutlery, a rival captain who wouldn’t take a “fucking get lost” for a “no”, and it ended with you standing surrounded by a bunch of broken bodies of your own making.

Needless to say, Zeff was pissed.

More than pissed, actually. He was fuming.

He probably still is.He has a thing for grudges if he’s still alive.

Maybe … Just maybe the old man’s chewed off something more than his leg and kicked the bucket? That’d be a sight to see considering he only has one remaining foot.

"My name is Sanji. What can I get for you?"

The waiter - Sanji - is fine, not going to lie. A good fighter, too, if his little display seconds ago is a testament to that. A bit too young for your preference, with a nose too small, and hair too bright and blonde. Not quite blue colorful enough.

All in all, not a bad look at all. Just for the aesthetics, though. A solid 7/10, you conclude.

"One of everything, please!" Luffy requests enthusiastically.

For whatever reason, Sanji does not seem to share your general affinity for the restaurant. That’s odd. Most people who work here tend to boast about their occupation in the famed restaurant.

Though, if you have to make a guess, Zeff is likely a contributing factor behind that disdain. He’s tough on people, even tougher if he likes someone.

As discontented as Sanji seems, however, it does not keep him from trying to withhold his flirtatious demeanor with Nami. A Casanova, it looks like. Funny.

"Waiter, can I get a beer and something for my friends?" Zoro asks, fed up with the one-sided dalliance going on between your shipmate and the waiter.

"Two beers!” Usopp promptly adds. “though, I usually have three."

"And one milk!" Luffy chimes in.

"Three beers and a milk," Sanji notes. His eyes land on you, and that signature smile falls to his lips. "And for the ladies?"

You’re already here, you think to yourself. Why not make the most of it? For nostalgia’s sake.

"A bottle of Baratie's Finest," you request, your chin resting in your palm. "Not the kind you keep for customers, though. Pick one from Zeff's private stash, if you can afford to smuggle it past his bushy nose?"

"A classy beverage for a classy lady, I see." A mischievous glimmer shines in his eyes and smile. "Although that stash is off-limits, what kind of a man would I be if I refused a lady her desired beverage?”

You tilt your head a fraction to the side. "I'm sure he won't mind. At his age, he needs to watch his liver."

"That is true,"

Quite frankly, everything else evades your attention the second the waiter arrives with your order. Sanji brings you your meals, and your pricey bottle of Baratie's Finest, and it’s the Red Apple edition.

Perfect.

You eat, and eat, and drink, and then drink some more, not even stopping to concern yourself with the price tag.

The food at the Baratie's has not been in decline when it comes to quality above all else. It's delicious, and not a lot of places have earned that kind of claim in your life.

The food is good, but the drinks are ethereal.

One glass turns into two, and two promptly becomes three. So forth, and so forth. Anything to dull the tightness lodged in your chest.

A tightness that has not left you alone in the past couple of weeks.

You've developed a pretty good tolerance over the years, and after several more units, you begin to feel the tickle on the edge of your hands. Baratie’s Finest indeed.

After five, the feeling settles on the tip of your spine.

After seven, you start to wonder what went wrong. It's a dangerous area to indulge in, especially if liquor is involved, but you don’t stop.

What went wrong?

What did you do wrong?

In another life, you would've traveled the world with them, doing nothing but drinking, fighting, exploring together.

Instead, you’re here, drinking with a crew yet still feeling like the loneliest asshole in the world. It’s not your crew.

You lose a smidgen of focus, and in the grand specter of things, focus is something you could do well with less off.

You can afford to think less, feel less, and know less. Life has been full of ups and downs, and quite frankly, you've grown weary of it all.

Fuck, maybe Luffy’s onto something? Maybe you are sad?

… Nah.

Once Zoro orders another beer, you go as far as to share your bottle with him. His face scrunches at the taste and he coughs several times, but he admits that it’s good.

As you sit there on the edge of the couch, sipping your beverage and tasting your food, Sanji arrives to collect the bill. You know Luffy doesn’t have a berry to his name yet, and so you wonder how long it'll take before Zeff notices.

More specifically, how long it’ll take him before he realizes he's missing something from his private collection?

“Who the hell is Monkey D. Luffy?!”

Speak of the Chief… and he shall appear.

This time, you do not interfere when Luffy attempts to bargain for his lack of cash. You simply sit back and observe.

As much as Luffy tries, he does not have the words or mind suited for this kind of business yet. It’s Capitalism at its finest.

“You eat, you pay!”

Thoughts and dreams can only get you so far in life, but at the Baratie, it’s coin.

When Zeff grabs Luffy by the front of his shirt, the chief's eyes turn to you, and holy hell, is he furious.

“And what in the blazing hell are you doing here?!"

“Zeff,” You greet him and raise your beverage his way, a tilted smirk on your face. "It’s been too long."

"Not long enough! I thought I told you to get fucking lost last time? The damages you did cost a fortune!"

“In my defense, it was the other guys that started it.”

He gives you such a dirty look that his jaws clench. “Don’t give a shit. Why are you here?”

You twirl the bottle around in your hand. "Just enjoying the ambiance, as always. I was in the area, and so how could I pass up the chance to try your scrumptious meals again? Or drinks, for that matter?"

On cue, you raise your - or rather his - bottle closer up to him.

It’s stupid, the rational part of your brain argues. One does not fuck around with the Chief of the Baratie, but among the few joys you have left in life, this remains one of them.

His eyes narrow in on the bottle and there he is.In the blink of an eye, he snaps it out of your hand with such fast precision that you're almost caught off-guard.

Zeff narrows in on the mostly empty flask like it's personally insulted him and his entire lineage. “Where did you get this?"

"It was on the menu."

"It sure as shit was not! How could you—" He freezes like a thought suddenly dawned on him, and if a man can become purple from anything other than oxygen deprivation, Zeff's current mood is the closest thing to it. "Sanji. Why that snot-nosed, little—! ... When I get my damn hands on him."

It seems that whatever vendetta Zeff has towards his employee, it outweighs the one he has for you tenfold, which says something. Without another word, he yanks Luffy by the scruff and all but drags him with him to the kitchen.

Ordinarily, you would’ve intervened on behalf of your captain, but with Zeff now preoccupied, it’s your chance to rob the bar of a few more beverages.

And in your dictionary, “a few” is the equivalent of “a shitton”.

"Wow," Usopp murmurs with a low whistle. "That guy really hates your guts."

"What are you talking about? I’m his favorite customer." You raise what remains in your glass to them. “Anyone want another one?”

"I do," Nami relents.

Zoro laughs, probably for the first time since you’ve met him. "Now you're talking."

Maybe, just maybe, you’re beginning to like these people.

With a couple more drinks, maybe you’ll be able to tell.

———

“You know, I kind— I kinda assumed you were an asshole when we first met?”

Usopp’s struggling to stand on his feet, legs bent slightly forward as he makes a half-assed attempt at ordering another drink. You can’t tell if the bartender is electively ignoring him or not, and truth be told, you don't blame the guy if the former applies.

Between the two of you, you’re more adept when it comes to dealing with liquor. Sure, your lips are a little looser now and the bright lights are starting to hurt your eyes, but all in all, you’re not even half as drunk as you want to be.

Seriously, fuck me sometimes. You just had to go all out when you were younger. Days and nights spent pouring bottle after bottle left your liver hardened rather than weakened.

Now, because of the high tolerance you stupidly developed, it's come here to bite you in the ass and keep you from getting wrecked.

“Oh?” Your sarcasm couldn't be any more discernible than it is now as you eye your crew mate. “What made you reach that conclusion?”

Usopp twirls around, horribly off-balanced, and slaps a hand over your shoulder.

A little too personal for your liking, but you let it slide for now.

“I mean, for starters, you—,” he hiccups. “You always have that look about you. Like someone just pissed in your ale.”

You give him an unimpressed but vaguely piqued once-over. “Descriptive. Go on,”

“And soso— And so I and the guys are wondering if you’re like that because some clown broke your heart or—,” he hiccups again. “Or some— something? Did he piss in your ale?”

You shrug his hand off at once. You don’t want to think about him, now least of all. "No.”

Not even a second later, his arm his back over your shoulder and he leans closer. It's probably meant as a comforting gesture, but given how absolutely wasted he looks, you perceive it with a grain of salt.

"Y-You can tell the great Capt— I mean, the Great Usopp, alright? We've all been there before, I—I'm ssssure. I mean, Zoro doesn't strike me as much of a ladies' man, but he's probably got stories, too."

The bartender finally stops by and leaves a beer bottle in front of you on the table, completely ignoring your companion, and disappears to make his next rounds.

You take the flask and flick the cork off with your thumb. "Well, if you really want to help, —"

You turn around so that your back hits the bar counter, twirl Ussop around with the guidance of your hand and shove him lightly towards where Nami and Zoro are sitting. "— Talk to the others first about their heartbreaks."

If he wants to object, he's too drunk to for it. Instead, he recollects his limited stance and all but wobbles over to the corner where your other companions are seated.

He’s their problem now, but it’ll be an interesting display.

You recline against the bar counter to chug your beverage in peace when a voice suddenly speaks up from next to you.

“I thought you were retired.”

With how loud the music is, it might have slipped your notice completely. Then again, the owner of said voice has always had that thing about him.

He could whisper, and the entire room would’ve heard.

You glance up at your side, and you’re halfway tempted to smile when you see who it is.

“It’s been a while, Hawk-Eyes.”

Everything from the feather on his hat to the cross around his neck and the pointy way his beard is trimmed has stayed the same. Not a scar, a bruise, or blemish to spot on him.

In ten years, he looks to have aged only one. Some people are fortunate in terms of youth, and you would definitely consider Dracule Mihawk one of them.

“Cross-Hairs.” He inclines his head to you, a silent courtesy reserved only for those whose company he tolerates. “I believed you abandoned your life behind the mast years ago.”

You take another generous gulp from your bottle before you respond. "So did I, but life finds a way, doesn't it?"

"Indeed." He peeks over his shoulder to where your companions are seated, his countenance less than impressed. Then again, that's just his face by default, so hard to tell with him. "And last we met, you were a Captain."

"Last time we met, you almost cut my right arm off." For emphasis, you pull back your sleeve to show off the straight scar that separates your upper arm from the rest. It's faded, old, and never noticeable unless you decide to wear anything short-sleeved, but it's there all the same.

He doesn't apologize. Of course, he wouldn't. Instead, he raises his sparse glass of wine to you. "Nothing personal."

You raise your bottle to him in turn. "Of course not,"

Clink!

You drink your respective beverages in companionable silence. However, even with your halfway inebriated state of mind, you can't help but think of the reasons for his presence.

You have your suspicions, and you're not shy about voicing them.

"This isn't your usual scenery." You say. “What makes one of the great Warlords of the Sea seek out a place such as this? Business or pleasure?"

"Business," he answers curtly, as though he'd prefer to do anything but. "I'm looking for a captain."

“It’s not Shanks, I take it?”

“No, it’s not. It’s a captain by the name of Luffy.”

It doesn't surprise you. It should, but it doesn’t.

The lengths the vice-admiral is willing to go to retrieve his grandson, which apparently includes hiring a Warlord to do so, doesn’t surprise you in the slightest. Unbreakable willpower is a family trait, after all, if you've learned anything from Luffy.

It wouldn’t suffice with a gun; he had to send the entire fucking arsenal.

Still, at least it’s Mihawk of all people. It shouldn’t be a source of relief, but had it been anyone else, be it Kuro or Axe-hand or Bu-...

Your fingers subconsciously dig into the fragile, empty bottle you’re holding.

The point is, had it been anyone else, you would've intervened. You have intervened, several times by now, but not tonight.

Tonight, you're here to drink and forget, then drink some more. You don’t have the sobriety to worry about much of anything anymore.

"Garp must truly be at his wit's end if he employs you for his endeavors." Once you retrieve the bottle at your disposal, you pluck off the cap and swirl it lazily in your hand. The lights from the bar dance around the transparently brown rim, like a shooting star with no exit and no entrance to the rest of the universe. Forever stuck. "Seems excessive to send you of all people after something so seemingly simple."

"From what I've heard, this particular quarry is something of a wildcard."

"If you’re here, I’m sure of it."

Mihawk tilts his chin up, eyeing you curiously in your peripheral vision. "Are you saying that you're acquainted with this Luffy?"

"I'm saying no such thing. It's just mere speculations on my part." Another fistful of alcohol travels down your esophagus. "You're only employed when it's truly serious, and the vice-admiral is known for only getting involved in those kinds of matters. It adds up, is all I’m saying."

“I hardly consider it dire. It's more a means of killing some time on my part." He does not take his eyes off of you, and even in your current state, you can tell that something is brewing beneath those sharp eyes. "However, if said captain has you in his arsenal, then I feel like some investigation is warranted. After all, the Captain of the Cross-Haired pirates is not particularly known for her tendency to submit to others."

You quirk an eyebrow at him and circle your finger around the bottle rim, pondering on the subject yet not biting at the metaphorical carrot he dangles in front of you. "Technically, it’s just like you said: I'm retired, and the Cross-Haired pirates are no more. I’d think most people are aware of that.”

"The Marines believe otherwise,” he counters calmly. “The Cross-haired pirates may be disbanded, but their captain’s bounty remains on the posters. The vice-admiral was quite adamant that, while he wants the boy alive, he’d prefer it if you weren’t."

“I see.” The vice-admiral should learn to take a fucking number. “Tell me, have you elected a means of execution, or is it the dealer's choice?"

"I recall he mentioned something along the lines of wanting your head on a spike."

"Crude."

"I agree."

"Then," you raise your glass. "Am I to have my last drink here tonight?"

He shakes his head. "No, I'm here for the boy and nothing else."

You'd expect him to be forward with his line of questions; demand you just give Luffy up and be done with it, not side-stepping the subject like he's doing now.

If he suspects something, he'll sniff it out like a bloodhound until he gets what he's searching for, regardless of how many cards or people fall around him. You’ve not exactly been subtle about your affiliations with his quarry, something you’ll berate yourself for come morning, but it all depends on how this plays out now.

"I won’t give you the answer you seek. You’ll have to do that on your own.”

You're not friends, but you're not necessarily foes either.

For as long as you’ve known the swordsman, Mihawk's only ever had a beef with Shanks for reasons undisclosed even to you. Even after you parted ways with your red-haired crew mate, Mihawk never seemed to have anything personal against you despite the rather brutal nature of your previous encounter.

If anything, there's a certain level of respect veiled between you, one former pirate to another semi-former one, and it’s something you hope he'll honor just this once.

To your relief, he decides to not push the matter, but the interest lingers in his eyes.

It's not easy to notice, but you make it a habit to take note of limited details. "The boy must be something special to have earned your loyalty like this, Cross-Hairs."

"I suppose you'll have to find out for yourself."

"Perhaps so," he concedes.

You chug the rest of your drink in one go, put the empty bottle on the tabletop in the space between you, and push yourself off the counter. "For what it's worth, I wish you good fortune with your endeavor. However, I’ll warn you; if anything happens to the kid, I'll get involved.”

“Duly noted.” Once again, he dips his head to you. "And Cross-Hairs,"

"Hmmm?"

You glance at him from over your shoulder, but his gaze is fixated on something else this time. Something on the other side of the bar, to the borders of the waters. If he sees anything, you can't tell what it is, and he doesn’t share.

Not explicitly.

"There is unrest brewing in the seas," he finally reveals, casually as if he's discussing the current state of the weather. "I'd suggest you keep your feet dry for now, at your convenience."

You don't know what he speaks of, but whatever it is, you'll follow. He is not a man who prides himself on his capacity to proclaim falsehood. If he tells you that the sun is green, you'll believe it, and you make it a habit not to believe in a lot of people.

That applies to this warning too.

"I'll see you around, Hawk-Eyes."

You need another drink.

———

You slip in and out of consciousness a couple of times throughout the night, never coming to the same places twice, with a belly full of rum, beer, and whatever else with enough alcoholic percentage to knock out a horse.

At one point, you're in the restaurant munching on some bread rolls.

At another, you're puking your guts out in the bathroom stalls.

At the third, you're chugging even more liquor straight out of the bottle while a bunch of people cheer you on.

The circle goes on and on and on until it spins out of control like a zoetrope. Faces flash in front of you, one after the other, never the same two times in a row.

It's alright, you tell yourself, as long as you forget.

You forget about blue eyes, blue hair, and red noses.

You forget about Gol D. Roger and the time you spent on his crew.

You forget it all, if only for a few hours.

Next time you come to, you're still miraculously standing on your feet. You’re currently in the kitchen on the Merry, and currently listening to Nami telling a ridiculous story about how Zoro challenged Dracule Mihawk to a duel.

What a funny story.

In fact, it’s so funny and so outlandish that you can't help but snort. Since when has Nami been the kind of person to tell jokes?

Maybe Usopp's tendencies have rubbed off on the standoffish young woman, or maybe she's smoked something along with her drinks?

Fuck, you have to ask her where she got the stuff.

It takes a few moments of awkward silence until you realize that no one is joking, Nami least of all. The room is still, and as if all alcoholic content has left your blood, it dawns on you last of all.

Oh hell no.

You slowly turn to Zoro with a deadpan look in your eyes, and despite the urgency, you ask him as calmly as you can, "You challenged Dracule Mihawk to a duel?"

He bobs his head and continues polishing his swords. "Which he accepted,"

You blink, and blink, hoping that this is just a fragment your beer-and-bottle-drenched brain has conjured to fuck with you, but Zoro remains where he is and so is everyone and everything else.

Fuuuuuuuck…

You thought he was one of the smart ones, too. His sense of navigation doesn't work for shit and if anyone can get lost on their way to the lavatory, it's him. Still, you withheld some semblance of hope that he would exhibit the same kind of recklessness as his captain.

Turns out, it has all been for naught.

You rub your temples hard enough to sting. With a nasty headache developing, you decide to pop the question. "Cremation or burial at sea?"

"... What?"

"Pick one or the other, I'll see to it that arrangements can be made."

"I'm not going to die.”

"You are a fly to him." Nami grimaces. "Something to be swatted and forgotten,"

"Not if I win." Zoro is steadfast and determined, like every new pirate on their first voyage.

It’s a look you remember well. In a way, the young swordsman kind of reminds you of Mihawk himself, and if there's one thing you can link to both, it's that annoying stubbornness that never yields. Even when the odds are against them.

"You're not going to win," Nami tries.

Zoro remains infuriatingly unconvinced. "You don't know that."

"You won't." This situation, to your chagrin, sobers you up enough that you can't blame the liquor on your next actions or words.

You take a step towards him, and with an iron fist, grab him by the front of his shirt and force him to face you. He's unamused. “I think I liked you better when you were drunk,” he murmurs.

"I want you to get this, really get this.” You snarl. “Once you go against Mihawk, and there's no coming back for most. He's not known as the World's Greatest Swordsman for no reason, and as good as you are, take it from me. He'll end you."

He inclines his head to the side with deep-rooted skepticism. "Sounds like you really know the guy,"

"It doesn't matter whether I know him or not."

"Everywhere we go, we make enemies, and for some reason, they've already got a grudge against you, Captain Cross-Hairs."

With one hand clenched against your offending wrist, he starts to list off his other hand. "Since you know just about every asshole we come across, you might as well tell me about Mihawk's preferred method of execution. Will he chop me in half, or is he excessive like the damn clown and goes all the way with splitting someone into pieces?"

You feel your nails begin to pierce through the fabric of his shirt, inches away from leaving open gaps. You're not their guardian or their mentor. You're not the one supposed to keep the crew at ease or lead them towards certain victories.

That's the captain's role, and you're not it. Not on this ship, with this crew.

Your only purpose here is to keep them from killing themselves on their first voyage, but if they're so determined to do it themselves despite the warnings you provide, then it's not on you.

Pulling him a few inches closer to you, you look him straight in the eyes, and that's when you see it. The aforementioned stubbornness that follows each and every young pirate you've come across in your life. The notion that they're invulnerable; unkillable.

Nothing can hope to end them.

You remember what it was like, that feeling, and it almost breaks you to see it in front of you like this.

You know aggression won’t do it for him, so you try an approach you haven’t tried in years. Bargaining.

“What will it take for you to pull back from this?”

“He’s coming for Luffy. I’m his first mate, it’s my duty to protect the captain.”

To protect the Captain…

That's how you know that there's no convincing the young swordsman to stand down, not this time.

He's persistent, exceedingly so, and if there's one thing you've learned during this voyage with these people it's that hell hath no fury like a straw hat pirate determined.

This is not on you, yet it doesn't make it any easier to let go of him. But you do.

Taking a deep breath, you uncurl your fingers and let him step back.

"Fine."

You need another drink.

Glancing over your shoulder, you meet Luffy’s concerned gaze. “This is your call, captain.”

You don’t need to be here for this. You’ve done your part, and now it’s his turn to do his.

You give Zoro a pat on his back, just one. It's not meant for comfort, it's not an act of sympathy either.

It's just a pat, like the kind you give your friend when they're about to gamble away all their savings over a game of cards. It’s the “fuck around and find out, but do it yourself”-kind of gesture.

Heaving a sigh, you sidestep him and let your fingers fall off his shoulders. "It's been fun, Zoro."

And the worst part about this all is that you mean it, truly. It has been fun to sail with them, share a few beers, and joke at the expense of others. Your time on this ship has been fun.

Like old times.

You won't go as far as to call Zoro a friend, you never do, but it's close enough that you'll probably miss him in the long run.

Zoro looks at you, his countenance indecipherable. "Say that to me again when I win this fight,"

"I can't." Because you won't.

---

The water forces its way into his lungs at such speed that it feels like he's swallowed buckets by the time they finally come up for air. He harks and coughs and tries to get as much of it out, but he doesn’t feel any lighter.

Get it? Lighter, because he’s just a head now and— alright, forget it.

For once, he's happy his head is disjointed from the rest of his body because if it wasn't, he'd probably sink to the bottom of the ocean from the fluid in his belly alone.

The taste of salt and sand stays like a sour afterthought on his tongue, and as much as he tries to spit it out, he can't be rid of all the grains. "Fuck! Give me a warning next time, will ya?! Kinda vulnerable to seawater and all that!"

Whatever fish-guy has him strapped to their back this time does not dignify his complaints with a verbal response. Instead, all he hears is a couple of snickers, like their humor is fuelled at his expense.

Assholes, the lot of them.

It takes some time for the tangy scent to abandon his nostrils, but once it does, it's immediately replaced by the fine scent of something divine. Something delicious.

It smells of food. Actual fucking human food. Not whatever Arlong and his litter gorge on, which he personally believes to be carcasses of dead sea animals they happen to catch on the shores of their island.

It's honest-to-god cooked, seasoned, edible food.

Buggy can feel his mouth water, and for once, he cannot blame it on seawater.

They're finally at Baratie.

The finest restaurant in all the East Blue, renowned for its excellent taste and unrivaled quality. Only the richest of the rich get to dine here, and while he's not exactly flowing with berries at the moment, he’s famished.

“Hey, Lips!" he yells out as loud as he can through the shitty bag. "How about you order me some hot dogs once we get a seat? A clown's gotta eat!"

The only sort of response he gets is an elbow to the bag, which incidentally clashes right into his nose. "FUCK!"

"Shut up!"

There's scuttling to be heard, doors opening, and a shitton of gasps echo from all around him. They have an audience, he deduces, and not a particularly receptive one at that.

Arlong makes a spectacle, something about "serve" and yish and yash about dinner and last meals as they get a seat.

Fuck, what he would give for a meal.

For the first time in what feels like forever, he feels solid ground settle under his neck. Though it's a pleasant reprieve from being thrown back and forth like a yarn ball caught in a cat’s game, he won’t consider it much of an upgrade. He's fucking hungry, damnit!

"Who are you, old man?" Arlong speaks, and Buggy hears uneven steps approach them.

An unfamiliar voice answers. "My name's Zeff, and I own this place."

Right, the Chief. Maybe he can ask him for some crumbs since his captors aren’t exactly on the generous side.

"Well, I'm Arlong, and I own the East Blue."

"No one owns the sea. Not even a fish man."

Ooooh, burn! Suck on that, shitface!

"Listen up!” Arlong exclaims when the chief’s negotiation tactics fail to appease him. “I'm looking for a pirate in a straw hat! Goes by the name of Luffy!"

The saw-nosed motherfucker truly has to be even more extravagant than himself, Buggy admits to himself with no short amount of begrudging compliance. Fishface even goes as far as to threaten the poor diners with having them for dinner instead, by the sounds of it.

Buggy can appreciate the message it conveys; he’s used it himself, but he refuses to find any common ground with his captor, so he buries the sentiment ten feet down into wherever the hell his body is.

He listens as the diners lose their appetite, all the while Arlong begins to gorge on whatever he has on his plate. For a while, all he can make out is the sound of meat being torn off something and the occasional cry from one of the diners in the distance.

Even from miles and miles away, Buggy can feel his stomach twist painfully due to the lack of food in it. Oh, it’s hell on earth to smell everything you want yet being unable to even grasp it. And here his captors are, toying with him, torturing him with it.

Seriously, fuck them.

He’s about to demand to get something to chew on when Arlong’s other henchman — Kuroobi or some shit like that — beats him to it. "Hey, boss, I'm feeling for a bottle right about now."

Arlong laughs. "Don’t have to tell me. Take what you please. I don’t think that one will mind sharing one of hers.”

“And get one for me too while you’re at it,” Lips supplies.

The henchman cackles and gets up to his feet to retrieve what he’s looking for, but not before lightly kicking the bag that is Buggy’s current prison cell in the side.

“HEY!”

“Sorry.” He apologizes unapologetically.

Buggy grinds his teeth together and tries to think of something — anything — to keep his mind off his ever-rising hunger. When he gets his body back, he'll take some bottles and shove them right up these fuckers a—

CRASH!

Buggy hears the sound of something breaking from the opposite side of where the fish man just headed. Countless gasps ring through the restaurant’s interior, bouncing on the walls, and he hears the henchman’s painful wails from a distance away.

He’d laugh - he does laugh, because it seems like someone didn’t want to share their precious drinks and decided that full-on attacking one of the fish people was the appropriate kind of response.

It’s impressive, he thinks. Very much so. Oh, he’d pay to see that again, and he’ll have to give that person a fucking kiss, just for making his day a little bit better.

It’s a shame he can’t see the—

"Fucking get lost."

Buggy feels his head freeze in the bag.

He recognizes that voice. The morning sun shone atop the ship deck. Warm. Cold. All of them at once.

He's finally found you.

---

Taglist: @kurinhimenezu, @carpinchootaku, @ay0nha, @teh-vampire-bunny, @lokiscure, @internationalsuper-spy, @detectivesparrow , @yuriwk , @notyuralycat , @angeli-fucking-cat, @machinema7k , @shuujin, @avatar-lover, @gingernut1314, @autumn-slaves. @marvelouskatie, @floristoflillys, @dizzyenby, @redpool, @deliri-yum22, @aemondsb1tch, @ackroxia, @gayandfairycore (If you want to be tagged for this story, just send me a message or leave a comment :))

#buggy the clown #buggy x reader #buggy one piece #buggy the clown x reader #one piece live action #one piece x reader #buggy x you #one piece #buggy the clown fanfiction #buggy x female reader #DMTMYHB #didn’t mean to make your heart blue

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tboywriter · 3 months

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Crush | Angus Tully x reader

pictures not mine, edit is mine gender neutral reader edited: no (might edit in future) warnings: angst(?), swearing, drinking/drunkenness, weirdly-written pov, disappointed "parents", idrk summary: Angus and reader are both pining but all it takes is a little alcohol to fix that. -> Hunham isn't fired, reader goes to Barton a/n: I'm so glad the internet loves this man as much as I do. This movie got me to write again so I'm just glad for that. I might post more for him, idk. Let me know if you want some shorter stuff. I tried to capture Angus's dorkiness but IDK how well that turned out, LOL!

♡ ♡ ♡

“God, that was so nerve-wracking!”

“Really?” He smirked. “You didn’t look nervous when you were up there practically singing your heart out.”

“I mean it! My heart’s going so fast! Here, feel it.” Before he could process what you meant you had already grabbed his hand and stuck it flat against your chest. He could feel the thumping, rhythmically beating faster than usual, but mostly he was fixated on his hand being pressed against your body. His eyes widened a little, staring at your hand that still held his, his mouth parted ever so slightly.

His face became flushed as you rambled on about the presentation and how you worried about how it might affect your grade. He envied you in that moment, able to be so normal about something as intimate as this. He wanted to move his hand lower, feel more of your chest, but instead you released his hand and he returned it to his side.

You didn’t notice how quiet he was, trying to stop his mind from going to places he didn’t want you to know about. He nodded along whenever you looked up at him and laughed when you laughed but his eyes flitted between your neck and your lips.

He noticed he was walking at some point, didn’t even realize he was moving until you stopped in front of the door to your room. You walked inside, turning when he didn’t follow. “Coming in?”

He shook his head, effectively shaking his wandering mind free of dirty thoughts. “Yeah, yeah. What are we doing?”

“I don’t know,” You sigh, flopping on the bed. “What do you want to do?” He stood awkwardly beside you, his hands in his pockets. Laughing, you pat the spot next to you. “Relax, what are you so on edge for?” Right. This wasn’t something unusual. You two often came to each other’s rooms and lounged around.

He didn’t smile back but he could feel his cheeks heating up. He only hoped you wouldn’t notice– “You okay?” You sat up, leaning against the headboard and staring into his eyes as he sat down across from you.

“Yeah, sorry, my mind is somewhere else.”

“Yeah? Where else?” You tilted your head slightly, like a puppy diligently listening to their owner.

“Nowhere.” You didn’t press, you never did. He’d tell you if he really wanted to, no sense in annoying him about it. After that fateful Christmas break that brought you two together, though, you couldn’t help but wonder if he was thinking about his dad every time he began to stare off into space.

You’d met because of circumstance. The only two ‘holdovers’ left at Barton academy. Angus’s parents couldn’t be contacted and you couldn’t stand the thought of spending three weeks with the biggest jerk in school. It’d be much nicer to spend the weeks alone, reading in your room– or studying as Mr. Hunham originally governed. Instead you got to, albeit unintentionally, sort out your trauma together. Who knew Librium was such a popular drug?

“You wanna go see if Mary’s got the Match Game on? I kind of just want to sit on the couch.” He nodded.

Mary was in fact in front of the TV and Mr. Hunham, a bit unexpectedly, was too. They shared the couch facing the screen although sat on each of the ends, as far away from each other as possible. Mary and Mr. Hunham both liked their respective routines: Mary’s was to relax each night with game shows and Hunham’s to be alone… somewhere.

You and Angus entered the room silently and sat on the adjacent couch, considerably closer than the two adults. Angus grabbed a pillow and handed it to you before grabbing one for himself and hugging it. He leaned back into the cushions, tired eyes lazing towards the television. You had a similar approach, putting the pillow on the arm rest and lying down, legs tucked in.

When you woke up, you were just as you were when you first sat down. Only now there was a blanket draped over you. You peeked over the blanket to see where Angus had taken up the same position you had on the opposite armrest. He was rubbing his eyes currently, only just have woken up himself.

He winced as he stood up and stretched out. You smiled, his long legs must hurt from being curled into that awkward position all night.

Mary walked in, fully dressed in her uniform. “Good, you two are up. I didn’t want to have to wake you. Hurry back to your rooms, it’s already 7:15.” You glanced at the clock to confirm.

“Shit!” Angus exclaimed but then rescinded under Mary’s disapproving gaze. “Breakfast is in fifteen minutes. Mary, why didn’t you wake us up last night?”

She put a hand on her hip. “Why should that be my job? Anyways, I fell asleep too. Only one who didn’t was Hunham who was gone when I woke up.”

“Fair point.” Turning to you, Angus got caught in his own tracks. He meant to quip a ‘let’s go’ and begin to head back but he was instead met by you, still leaning against the pillow with slightly tousled hair and half-open eyes.

Mary had left at this point, leaving the two of you to awkwardly stare at one another for a couple moments. You broke it by standing up next to him, slowly and steadily. “Guess we should get ready for breakfast, huh?”

“Yeah. Uh, yeah.”

♡

After breakfast, you and Angus didn’t see each other until your Laws and Government class. He usually sat in the back corner, unseen and unheard, but you preferred the front so you could pay better attention. Instead, a compromise was made, and the two of you now sat in the center of the room.

The teacher of the class was a highly pompous and old-fashioned old man. His hair was stark white and his cheeks and nose glowed red. He’d almost look like Santa Claus if it weren’t for his contant scowl. Worst of all, he hated uniqueness. If you didn’t kiss up to his highly conservative values then you weren’t getting an A. And you needed an A.

He was handing back the scores from the oral presentations you had the day prior. The one that made your heart jump out of your chest and into Angus’s unexpecting hands. You both looked at each other, making reassuring eye contact before flipping the papers. He smiled, B+. You, on the other hand, couldn’t be more disappointed. C-? What was the point of putting a minus when anything under a C was failing? You shrank back into your chair, never having got a failing grade before.

You stuffed the paper in your bag, not caring that it crumpled. Angus reached over and placed his hand on your knee. He didn’t say anything but you appreciated the gesture. He knew how much your grades meant to you. You stuck your tongue out at him and his decent grade but he knew you meant well.

♡

You didn’t usually drink, but tonight was the exception. Was it dramatic to be drinking due to a bad grade? Yes. Did that stop you from taking up Teddy Kountze’s offer to go to an off-campus party? No. Yeah, maybe it was a bad idea to accept the offer of the guy who was a constant ass to you and your best friend, but when he asked you were already in a bad mood. You didn’t even have to interact with him there, just confiscate all the free alcohol and get comfortable on the couch.

And so you did. When you walked into the house you said ‘hi’ to a couple people you knew and then ran to the kitchen. The smell hit you immediately, there was no second guessing what everyone was drinking. God, people really like this stuff? Whatever, it’s just one night.

“Angus Tully, call for you.” A teacher Angus didn’t recognize had knocked on his door at nearly five to one in the morning. He groaned, trudging down the hall to the nearest phone. Getting a call was already rare for him but one at one at one a.m. was out of the question. It was even more surprising when he heard the voice of the person on the other end.

“Tully?”

“Kountze?”

“Thank God, can you get down here?”

“I already told you, I don’t want to come to your stupid-ass party. Shouldn’t it be ending soon, anyway?”

Teddy groaned. “I don’t want you to come and hang out, I want you to come and pick up (Y/n).”

“(Y/n)? What’re they doing there?”

“I don’t know, man. Just come get them. I don’t know how much he drank but he’s been passed out on the couch for hours. Every time I try to wake him up he just kicks me.” Angus laughed. “Just get him out of here, okay?”

“Yeah, okay. Give me twenty minutes.”

Angus didn’t have a car but he knew someone who did. He knocked on the door to the teacher’s lounge where he knew Mr. Hunham would probably be watching TV with Mary. They seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Mary yelled for him to come in.

Mr. Hunham nodded. “Mr. Tully.”

“Hello, Angus. You didn’t come all the way down here just to watch TV with us, did you? Usually you’re not alone.”

“I didn’t, actually. I was hoping I could get a ride, (Y/n)’s drunk and needs a ride home.”

Mary frowned. “(Y/n)? I didn’t think they were the type.”

Angus just shrugged. “Usually he’s not but he’s been talking to Teddy Kountze more. I think he’s the instigator here.” He stuffed his hands into his front pocket, shrugging.

Hunham scoffed. “That boy is a devil.”

“Oh, shush. He’s just a kid.” Mary scolded. “... even if he is a little asshole.”

They shared a laugh, followed by Mr. Hunham groaning as he stood. “Alright, I’ll drive. But I'm staying in the car. And tell him not to vomit on my seats.”

Angus nodded, following his teacher out. “Yes, sir!”

When they arrived Mr. Hunham parked on the street, right out front. Angus got out onto the lawn. “I’ll be right back.” Hunham nodded.

He saw Teddy first. Teddy just scowled and pointed to a room to the right. You were exactly where Kountze said you would be, passed out on the couch. You had a bottle of something in your arms, snugly held tight against your body. Angus pulled that out first and set it on the table across from you. You grumbled softly, missing the feeling of having something in your arms, and shot your leg out to kick who you thought was Kountze.

Luckily Angus was just out of reach and laughed in response. “(Y/n), time to wake up.” You lifted your hand to shoo him away but he persisted. “Come on,” he shook you softly. “Let’s go. Mr. Hunham’s outside.” That woke you up.

“Mr. Hunham?” Your eyes got wide. “What’s he doing here?” You sat up and Angus sat next to you, keeping you upright after a bit of sudden dizziness.

“He’s our ride.”

“I’m a bit embarrassed.” You put your flushed face in your hands, leaning your elbows on your knees.

“I’m sure he won’t judge you… Maybe just a little disappointed.” He laughed, standing back up and holding his hand out.

“No, I’m embarrassed with myself. I shouldn't have drank.” Your slurring was becoming more apparent now and Angus was sure you’d start crying if you stayed here any longer.

“How much did you have to drink?”

You knit your eyebrows together and frowned, obviously starting to get a bit grumpy. “I don’t know. Three? Four?”

“What? Bottles?”

“Cups.” You nodded towards a red solo on the table.

“Cups?” He laughed. “That’s it?”

You sighed, grabbing his hand and standing up. He couldn’t help notice the way you didn’t let go. Chests almost pressed together from the tight space. “Yeah, It’s my first time.” He breathed in sharply, eyes floating down.

“Really? You’ve never drank before? Mary was right about you.”

You slapped his arm half-heartedly. “Mary knows too? Who else did you tell!?” He broke from the spell and began to lead you towards the door.

He smiled. “Only the whole school.” You groaned in response.

When you got outside, Mr. Hunham rolled down the window to begin his speech before you even had the chance to get to the car. Angus opened the door to the backseat and helped you in but you grabbed his arm when he began to back up. You tugged ever so slightly and he gave in to the weak show of force, climbing into the backseat with you. You didn’t put up a fight but neither did he.

“... this isn’t the way to go about life. When you get to my age you…” You nodded along to whatever Mr. Hunham was saying, occasionally adding in an ‘I know,’ ‘You’re right,’ or ‘I’m sorry.’ Angus sat a bit stiffly next to you. You still had his arm in yours, hugging it as you had with the bottle.

♡

He dropped you onto the edge of your bed before falling down beside you with a groan. He needed a moment before he went back to his room. You, slightly more awake now, slung your legs across Angus’s chest in an awkward L-shape. He let you stay like that for a moment, catching his breath and savoring this while he could.

“Angus?” You asked softly, tilting your head to peer down at him.

“Yeah?” He pushed your legs back off the side of the bed so he could kneel beside you and help you take your shoes off.

“You’re so pretty, do you know that?” He paused, staring across at you, obviously shocked. Your face, though, was completely indifferent. “I mean it, you’re so beautiful. You’ve got perfect hair and perfect skin and perfect eyes. I don’t get it. You must know, right? I hope you know.”

“I-” He tried to speak but what would he say? He was still knelt down, desperately watching your face– which was still staring back innocently. Without thinking, he crawled onto the bed next to you, leaning up against the headboard. You adjusted, too, so you could continue staring at him, head on the pillow. He felt a bit hot under your gaze but he basked in the attention, he only wished he knew how to respond to make this last. To get you to look at him like this forever.

“God! You’re just so perfect! I don’t tell you that enough but I do think it. A lot. You’re just so pretty…”

“I don’t think you’ve ever told me.”

He could see the fatigue slowly taking over your eyes as you kept going. “You’ve got this dopey smile,” You saw his face turn. “Not a bad dopey! Cute-dopey. It’s the kind of smile that makes me want to smile too.” Absent-mindedly you began to reach up to touch his lips, stopping centimeters from contact.

“Um, thank you.” God, that’s what he came up with?

You giggled, though.“You’re welcome.”

“I think you’re pretty too. I’ve been staring at the back of your head since I got to Barton. And then when Christmas break happened I was pissed I didn’t get to go home, sure, but man I was so excited when I found out you were staying too. I’m glad I get to see more of you than your hair now.”

“You’re lying.” You accused him but you were smiling.

“I’m not, I swear!” He couldn’t help but smile too.

“You can’t have been looking at me since you moved here because I’ve been looking at you since you moved here. And before Christmas, I don’t think we made eye contact once.”

“Believe what you want,” He laughed. “I’m telling the truth.”

You sighed, brushed him off wistfully, and went back to longing. You spoke as if you’d forgotten the previous few exchanges. Perhaps you had. “I wish I could look at you all the time. I wish I could touch your face and your hair whenever I wanted. I wish I could–” You abruptly stopped and stared him down. Angus had to remind himself again that you were out of it. You looked as if you were trying to make a decision but the alcohol was making it impossible to choose. Angus leaned forward a bit, almost unwillingly. He hardly even noticed his movements until your fingers finally touched his face.

Your eyes flickered down, his did too. Slowly you brushed against his bottom lip. He parted his mouth slightly, cheeks becoming more red by the second. You moved onto his top lip before brushing his cheek. His eyes hadn’t left your mouth. Pulling your hand back slightly you looked up to his messy curls. Reaching up, you grabbed the hair at the back of his neck, running your hands through it. He had to stop himself from making any noise.

“And you’ve got these big brown eyes, they’re really pretty, you know. I feel all shy when you look at me… like in the way you are now.” You sighed deeply, as if the weight of the world were on your shoulders. “God, Angus. I think I love you.”

It took everything in him to not swoop down and kiss you right then. He was glad you were drunk so you wouldn’t remember his bright red face, but he also couldn’t help but wish your confession had been a sober one. His mouth was stuck in a small ‘o’ before he realized you were waiting for an answer. “I don’t think this is the right time.”

You cut him off before he could clarify. “What do you mean? Are you dating someone else…? I’ll wait.” Your words made him sputter out a short laugh but your face was nothing but serious.

“That’s not what I meant. I–”

You frowned. “Then, what do you mean?”

“I mean,” He brushed some hair from your eyes. “You’re drunk and probably won't remember any of this in the morning. How about you tell me again when you aren’t inebriated?”

You grabbed his hand, holding it close to your chest. “Why? What if I forget? It hurts too much not to tell you…”

“I won’t forget.” He smiled. “Don’t worry, I’ll remind you.”

He kissed you on the forehead, needing something to tide him over until he could act the way he truly wanted to. You curled up on your side before looking at him expectantly. He blushed and compiled, lying down next to you but leaving a couple inches between your two bodies.

He heard you laugh and move closer. He let out something between a moan and a gasp and you smirked in victory. Still, though, he wasn’t close enough. You reached out and grabbed his hand, setting it on your waist.

“You never told me,” You leaned into his chest. “Do you like me back?” You sounded like a middle schooler talking to their playground crush. Angus was almost unable to respond from the grin that trapped his face.

“Isn’t it obvious? Of course I’m in love with you too.”

#the holdovers #paul giamatti #angus tully #dominic sessa #x reader #x gender neutral reader #x male reader #angus tully x reader #fanfiction #da'vine joy randolph #mary lamb #paul hunham #teddy kuntze

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hanggarae · 6 months

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౨ৎ mansae

requested by @seuonji OMG NAII again congrats on 1k! idk if you’re still taking reqs but if you are i wanna request joshua+mansae by svt! i love YOU and your writings sm have a great day<3

AYAAAAAA THANK U SO MUCH BAE RHIS REQ WAS SO CUTE 😢 mansae is literally one of my favourite tt’s ever it’s so <33 i love u so so much and ur writings too like i read the jeonghan x daycare worker reader as a weekly routine atp hfhfhf

joshua x f!reader, fluff, friends to lovers, 0.7k words, part of 1k event

“shua” you said happily, taking the seat in the library next to him. when you sat you noticed the work and textbooks splayed out in front of him “what’re we working on here?”

“yn hey!” joshua said with a smile, already clearing space for you to join him more comfortably. “i was just finishing off that assignment we had for chem, it’s so tiring i’m starting to lose my mind i think” he laughed easily.

you looked at his work for a second and nodded at his words, you were still only halfway through yours. “i get you, i tried working on some of it last night and contemplated dropping out at least five times”

joshua smiled when you laughed, taking notice of the pretty ways your eyes crinkled in joy causing a warmth to creep up on his face.

for the next thirty minutes a steady atmosphere settled over the both of you, both focused on your work and occasionally asking the other for help.

joshua wouldn’t like to admit it but he looked over at you enough times to make it embarrassing and plain desperate.

“did you hear about that movie playing this weekend? apparently it’s super scary some people even passed out” you said with excitement lacing your tone.

truth be told, joshua couldn’t handle scary movies well. sure when he went to a haunted house or an escape room he could handle it but the movies were different. the way they make it just makes it overly eerie!

that would not hold him back if you asked him to go with you though.

“really? you .. go?” idiot, what the hell was that?

and joshua swears all the colour must’ve drowned from his face when you furrowed your brows in confusion, “huh?” you laughed off a little awkwardly.

joshua cleared his throat, “sorry, meant are you going to see the movie this weekend?”

he sighed in relief when you smiled at him, “i was hoping to, yeah. but i don’t really have anyone to go with..”

‘this is your chance. literally this is your chance. this is a free pass’

“we could go together..” joshua proposed, voice quiet and eyes searching yours for any signs.

“we as in- me, you and uh, jeonghan!” and joshua swears he can hear jeonghan in the distant telling seokmin that joshua’s an idiot. and jeonghan would not be lying at all.

“oh, uh yeah i guess that’d be great” you said, disappointment colouring your face.

‘why was this so hard?’ joshua thought as he looked at you. you’d already turned back to your work and bit back a pout wanting to settle on your lips. ‘why’s this so hard to get out? can’t someone else just do it for hi-’

“joshua, do i make you uncomfortable?” you shot up and asked him suddenly. “or like, do you just not like me like how you like the others? because you’re usually so.. honest with everyone else but with me it feels like you’re beating around the bush with your words sometimes”

“it’s not like it’s something i dislike!” you quickly reassured him when you saw how he looked like a kicked puppy, “it’s just, well it’s what i’ve noticed. and it only made me think i’m just maybe not as good a friend and maybe i’m just overthinking-”

“it seems different because i don’t want to be your friend” joshua cut off your rambling, “because i want to be your boyfriend”

“you what?” you looked at him a little out of breath and in disbelief that he just admitted that.

“i want to be your boyfriend, and obviously i’d talk differently to my friends than to someone i want to date” joshua moved his hand to hold your own, gently stroking the skin experimentally to leave space if you wanted an out but you didn’t and only grasped his hand tighter. “and i’d obviously be nicer to my girlfriend than my friend. no offence but you’d definitely get special privileges over jihoon”

you laughed lightly at his words, lips settling to a slightly teasing smile. “getting a little ahead of yourself, huh? i don’t remember you asking me to be your girlfriend, loverboy”

“not yet,” joshua smiled, “but i’ll ask you after i kiss you on our date this weekend, deal?”

#౨ৎ itadorins 1k event #seventeen x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen x you #joshua x y/n #hong joshua x reader #svt joshua x reader #joshua hong x reader #svt joshua #joshua hong imagines #joshua fluff #joshua imagines #joshua x reader #hong jisoo x reader

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theyhavetakenovermylife · 5 months

Note

Hi! Gotta say that your writting is so, so amazing!! It's so in character and the way you work with descriptions and words is really beautiful! <333

It's so very impressive and inspiring that you post almost every single day(like WOW), I hope you're not overworking yourself and take breaks!

I'm not sure if your requests are open(if not, feel free to ignore it pls!!), but I would've liked to request pretty much anything with either 2007 or 2003 Donnie if that's okay :D

Timeless Love (Fluff)

FastForward!Donatello x reader

A/N: Thank you so much!💕 I’ve been writing for years, but actually sharing my writings is still pretty new to me, especially in English💚 It’s so sweet of you to think of my well being. I do not feel overworked just yet😂 Anyway, I already had this idea floating around for Fast Forward Donnie, so I thought this was the perfect time to get it done. I might continue it and have some more fun with it in the future, but I’m not sure yet. But until then, hope you enjoy💜🐢

--------------

Donatello and Cody make a device that can freeze time, but does it work?

Warnings: None that I can think of💜

--------------

Donatello had been eager to show you and his brothers, his and Cody’s latest project. At night when the two of you were about to got to bed, he would start rambling on about how it might be one of the greatest innovations ever made. This left you very interacted, as you had thought Cody’s accidental time machine was the greatest innovation ever made.

It didn’t take long before that day came. In the depths of Cody’s lab, Donatello and the young Jones proudly presented the small top rounded machine to you and the rest of the turtles.

“That’s it?”, Raph asked, looking at the clock-like machine in front of him. “All this for a fashy stopwatch?”

“I think Donnie finally lost his mind”, Mikey whispered to Leo, causing the oldest turtle to roll his eyes.

“It is not a stopwatch”, Donnie said. “It’s a Temporal Interruption Device - or TID for short”.

“Donnie, sweetheart”, you said, using that nickname that made Donnie churr whenever the two of you were alone. “You know I love it when you tech-talk, but I have no idea what that means”.

Donatello sighed before pointing to the machine with a deadpan look. “That thing can stop time. Pause it, you can say”.

“So I was right!”, Raphael laughed. “It is a stopwatch!”

“Kind of”, Cody smiled, finding the banter amusing. “I have to admit, when Donatello first came up with the idea I thought it was strange, impossible even. But then Donnie reminded me that if you can travel in time, then it should also be possible to stop time”.

Leo hummed in thought, rubbing his chin. “It sounds pretty amazing, Donnie, but is it a good idea to freeze time?”

“Well, just like time travel can have its consequences on the space time continuum, I would speculate that freezing of time would most likely have some of the same”, Donnie said in thought, looking through his notes on his holographic tablet. “But we got time to figure that out, no pun intended. The Temporal Interruption Device isn’t ready yet. It still has a few bugs we need to smooth out, before it even can freeze water”.

“But if it worked”, you started, your curiosity peaked like it did so often when Donnie talked about his work. “How do you use it?”

“It’s very easy”, Donnie said, beaming bright at your interest in his invention. He took your hand and led you close to the machine, causing Mikey and Raph to make gagging noises behind your back, only for Leo to give them a light scolding. He took your other hand, making your stomach tingle slightly, before putting it on top of the rounded machine. “You just put your hand here”, he said, his face close to yours as he did so. You turned your head to smile at him, almost forgetting his brothers and Cody being nearby.

“Gross, they’re doing it again”, Mikey said. “They are doing that weird tech PDA thing!”

“Be nice, Mikey”, Leo said, just as Donnie put slight pressure on your hand.

“And then you just push”, he said, ignoring his younger brother. The machine made a small click as it was pushed down. You didn’t think anything strange of it as the lamps lit up, but when you saw Donnie’s confused expression, you knew something was up. Your boyfriend never looked confused at his own inventions.

Before you could ask him what was going on, the machine made a small thing. Then all sound stopped. The small background hums of the machines in Cody’s lap, Splinter’s soap opera in the living room and the song Serling had been singing in the kitchen, all stopped.

The other turtles and Cody were stuck in various poses, mid-action, all in the midst of moving towards the two of you, in what seemed like a hurry. You and Donatello however remained unaffected.

"Oops”, he said, in an almost unintentional comical manner, as he took in the others' appearances. “This wasn't supposed to happen".

You looked around at the frozen scene, a mix of awe and amusement on your face. "This is so cool, Donnie", you said, grabbing onto his arm.

“I guess so”, Donnie said, turning his head to the side as he looked at his brothers, a small smile spreading across his face once more, when he turned to you once more. You loved whenever he adorned that smile. Slightly mischievous but never any less than sweet and bright. Typically a smile Donatello would show, whenever he had an idea he thought to be good. “Wanna take a look around?”

“Of course”, you smiled back.

You and your boyfriend walked from the lab and into the living room, where you found Splinter frozen in front of the television, shock spread across his face, taking in the character on the screen, that was in the middle of telling her cousin she was actually her stepsister.

In the kitchen you found Serling in the middle of his cooking. Food on the stove while he stood at the kitchen counter, a knife slightly raised over the vegetables he had been cutting.

“Okay, you were right”, Donnie chuckled. “This is pretty cool”.

“It almost feels wrong”, you said, making your way behind Serling so you could get to the fridge. “To be walking around without them knowing”. You opened the fridge and took out two juice boxes.

“You’re once again right”, he said, accepting the juice box with a grateful smile, letting his hand linger on yours for a bit. “But I have to be honest, I do like how quiet it is”.

“There’s something about that”, you giggled, bringing the straw of your juice box to your mouth so you could take a sip. But before you could manage that, Donatello put his juice box on the kitchen counter and brought his arms around your waist, pulling you into a quick sudden kiss. You kissed him back, but couldn’t help but giggle against his lips. “What was that for?”

“With my brothers frozen in time, I can kiss you as much as I want without them acting up”, he joked, dipping in for another deep kiss. You smiled against his lips, enjoying the nice and quiet moment, knowing that no one would come and interrupt you. Maybe the Temporal Interruption Device would become way more handy than you originally had thought it would.

When the two of you pulled apart, you had already forgotten the presents of frozen Serling in the kitchen, causing both of you to jump a bit.

“Maybe we should go back and unfreeze them”, Donnie said, still with his arm wrapped around you, his hand making soft circular motions on your back.

“That’s probably a good idea”, you said, handing him his juice box once more, before finally taking a sip of your own.

You and Donnie went back to the lab, chuckling at the sight of his brothers and Cody, frozen in the same position you left them in. Still with your juice boxes in hand, you went over to the machine, where both of you placed your hands on top. You gave it a good press, watching as the world around you got unpaused. The humming of the machines came back, followed with the sound of Splinter gasping at his soap opera.

“Bianca, no!”

The turtles and Cody came back to life, hurrying forward, only to stop in their tracks when they saw you and Donnie happily drink out of your juice boxes. They stared at you, confused by the sudden appearances of the juice boxes, let alone who the two of you managed to get to the other side of the Temporal Interruption Device in less than a second. But before they could ask any questions, Serling came into the lab with a heavy sigh, metallic hand rubbing the place where his nose should have been.

“Master Donatello, Miss (Y/N)”, he started, sounding very strained. “I understand the need and appeal of getting affectionate with no interruptions, but please refrain from doing it in front of me. Even with time frozen, my picture memory and motion sensors can read any interaction”.

“Don’t say it like that, Serling”, you sighed, trying to ignore the expression on the boys’ faces. “You make it sound like we had sex in front of you”. Donatello almost choked on his juice by your forwardness, causing the boys to burst out in laughter. Even after such a long time together, it still managed to surprise Donatello every once in a while.

“I am just happy you left before deciding to do so”, Serling sighed, before turning towards the door so he could return to the kitchen. “That mental recording and terabyte trauma just wouldn’t be worth it”.

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rainybubbles · 1 month

Text

Silent- Gaz x plus size reader

Summary : Finding a way to relieve the stress of work in a DnD discord, Gaz meets Silent. A player whose microphone is always turned off, using chat only. Maybe he'll find a way to break the silence with them and finds why their mic is off…

(Sorry in advance, English is not my first language, so sorry if it's bad or OOC.)

-TW social anxiety.

-"What a quiet kid you've got there. I wish mine was as calm at home."

-"Oh, you know, they're pretty mature for their age."

-The laughter faded into distant murmurs as I glanced over at the other kids.

-Yelling, chasing, breaking a vase or two—my eyes couldn't look away from them.

-They seemed to inhabit a world entirely different from mine.

-A world where scraping by at month's end, nightly dinners, locking up the house, solo bus rides, laundry routines, and helping siblings with homework simply didn't exist.

-Because, after all, they were just eight years old.

- But so was I…

-So why didn't I have the right to have fun, yell, chat, ask for sweets, act immature, or doodle on walls?

- My hand reached out briefly, hoping for a connection, but my mom's glance quickly reminded me to stay put…

-Being silent seemed to be the key to earning praise and keeping peace.

-So, I stifled that urge, withdrawing into myself, standing alone behind her legs, engulfed in a heavy silence.

____________

"Silent, huh?"

-My gaze drifted slowly to the chat.

-"Yeah, dude, they're usually a regular on Thursdays. Never says a word, their mic's busted, can't afford to fix it," one of the guys responded.

-The tone carried a hint of disdain.

-I felt out of place.

-Yet, I stayed put, unable to leave the server.

-It was the only place where I felt I could express myself.

-Through words, carefully chosen, controlled, retyped, erased, and sculpted to bring a story to life—a space where my imagination, so often overlooked, could finally roam free.

-By chance, I'd become enamored with Dungeons and Dragons.

- The only snag, of course, was the void in my social life.

-So, like figuring out how long it takes to cook broccoli, I scoured the internet.

- Discord groups organized sessions. I panicked at the sound of mics, voices.

- What would they think of me? What should I say? What could I do? And then someone asked if my mic was broken.

- Ever since, I'd stayed that way, and the nickname Silent stuck.

"Hi Silent, then :) I'm Kyle aka Gaz."

-Usually, I ignored introductions.

- People interested me little, their characters were the interesting ones.

-However, Gaz hadn't spoken those words aloud.

- He had written them. It was stupid honestly, but few people wrote back to me, few people responded to me in writing.

-Everything was done orally.

-Suddenly, someone was on my turf, reaching out.

-The campaign proceeded as usual.

-My thoughts were focused on my actions, the dice rolls, and the resulting outcomes.

- Yet occasionally, I let my eyes wander over Gaz's profile.

________________

-"Hello guys, I don't know if I've played with some of you before or not. "

-"Don't worry, we accept everyone. The days are rarely fixed."

-Gaz was back. It was Friday. It was my favorite group, the game master Ylias really managed to transport you.

-"Well, I'll start then-"

-Ylias started rambling, I followed the story when I noticed a notification in the discord. My finger brushed it, and then ignored it.

-What would he think if I clicked now? that I'm a friendless attention-seeker? But if I wait, they'll think I don't care about the campaign?

-So I waited 5 minutes, trying to find the right balance between the two.

-"Hey, Silent. I missed a campaign without you, the others keep on rambling about their athletics, last time I even had a guy mimicking a goblin with his mic, I'm glad to see you back in text :) !!!"

-Pressure flooded over me. What should I reply? A heart? Thanks? Ignore it? Tell him he's nice too?

-"Thanks."

-Too cold, too short. I thought it wrong, I should delete it, rephrase it, add a smiley, make it warmer, he must think I'm a monster.

-"I think we should try opening the door, are you coming with me? I don’t feel like going into the forest with the rest of the team."

-Oh. Usually in campaigns, I go with the flow, I heal and stay in the background. I never-

-"You need a score of 13 for that, folks". Ylias said.

-"Come on, Silent, roll the dice." Gaz replied

-Nervously, my mouse hovered over the virtual dice. With a score of 15 showing, I heard Gaz's laughter.

-"I knew we had to do it! Let’s go, plus with your stealth, impossible to get spotted. "

-"We'll see about that." Ylias replied, laughing.

-And just like that, Gaz made me smile. It was probably one of the worst campaigns, but it was the first where I could finally choose my actions.

__________________________

-"Back again :) ?"

-" Yes."

-Dry, too dry.

-"I was waiting for you. "Gaz replied.

-" Why? "

-"I don’t want to play a campaign without you, you bring me luck."

-" I'm not sure about that. "

-"Yes. I tried a campaign with colleagues, we died blowing up. "

-"Probably because of your colleagues. "

-"Okay, maybe my colleague set fire to a mystery barrel. But it was their first campaign. "

-"You're recruiting? "

-"Introducing them. He's trying to quit smoking, and I thought DnD could occupy his free time."

-I stopped myself.

-Curiosity, imagination, everything overwhelmed me.

-What was it like to be close to colleagues like this, to freely discuss your passions, to laugh…

-"And then?"

-" It's not his thing, he's more into action. "

-"I see. "

-"It's not for everyone. "

-"Is it your thing? "

-"What? "

-"To let off steam? If your colleague needs it, so do you, right?"

-Stupid. Too personal a question. Invasive.

-"Yes. It allows me not to think, to be someone else."

-" Me too."

-" Plus, being an elf is great."

-" You say that because I am one."

-" Maybe. "

-"Thank you. "

-"For? "

-"Talking in chat. People usually ignore me outside of campaigns, they don't respond by text."

-" They ignore the sexiest elf?"

-" There's no image, you don't know what I look like"

-". Hm, exactly! I imagine your elf tall, muscular like the Rock, hair like Gordon Ramsay's, and maybe makeup like Ru Paul's."

-" I'm not sure about the result. "

-"Sexy."

-I snorted at my screen.

-"Ok."

-" How do you imagine me? "

-"Your wizard? "

-"Yes. "

-"With long hair, maybe dreadlocks, white eyes, and a smile. "

-"A smile?"

-" Your voice sounds soothing. "

-"Really? "

-"Yes, sorry, it's weird to say that, I shouldn't have."

-" No. No. I've never been told that, I was just surprised, that's all."

-" I see. "

-"So, a sexy elf and a smiling mage.

-"Sounds like the beginning of a weird porno."

-He responded with a meme.

_________________________

-"So, what do we decide, Silent? Honestly, I don't want to raid the goblin but the vampire to face, I'm sure the score will be high." Gaz asked through his mic

-"It's your choice, not mine."

-"they're right, Gaz, this one's all on you," Ylias said.

-"Can't I even ask for help?"

-"Score of 15 in insight to spot an ally." Ylias announced.

-Gaz scored a 10. No one addressed me throughout the campaign.

________________________

-"Back, Gaz?" someone said.

-Three weeks of radio silence.

-My mind had been looping, wondering if my refusal to break the rules had driven him to find a more interesting group, a more exciting duo.

-But there he stood, his username glowing green.

-"Yeah, I finally got some days off."

-"Good for you, man."

-"So spill, I see some new names and all!"

-Strangely, his voice had become grating to me. I didn't understand why, so before he could reach me, I disconnected.

- Alone in my apartment, I held my knees to my chest.

-Why am I reacting like this? He's entitled to a life, damn it.

-I fet like he...gave me up.

-Shit it's stupid.

-I didn't understand. I tried to calm myself, but the deafening silence of my apartment seemed to slowly engulf me, and before I knew it, I found myself in a new spiral of anxiety.

____________________________

-There were no campaigns. I just liked reading. Reading what had happened. Living vicariously, imagining their voices, their reactions.

-"hey :)"

-The off-campaign tab was blinking.

-He was addressing me, I knew it, I was the only one online with him.

-My thumb grazed the notification, but I ended up entering the chat.

-"hey."

The period was too harsh, too dry.

-"It's been a while! Something happened?"

-"Work." I answered.

-That's a lie.

- But lying is like oxygen, it's easy to come up with excuses to avoid others.

-But harder to let go of it to face the potential risks of social suffocation.

-"I know quite a bit, just got back from mine."

-"At 1 am?"

-"Yep."

-"Cook?"

"Soldier."

-A shiver ran through me. Uniforms had never been positive in my life.

- As the long seconds passed, I hesitated.

-"Not a fan?" Gaz asked.

-"You could say that."

-"Military family?"he asked.

-"yes."

-"I see."

-"Sorry, that's stupid."

-"No, I understand, I mean, we all have red flags." He said.

-"It's not a red flag."

-"You'd been quiet for 5 minutes."

-"With everyone." I answered.

-"Everyone?"

-"I'm not the best at socializing."

-"Really? Yet when you blew up a castle instead of talking to the princess in a campaign, it seemed normal to me." He joked.

-A laugh escaped.

-"And you?" he asked.

-"Me?"

-"Your job?"

-"Proofreader."

-"For books?"

-"Yes, I read, annotate, and correct."

-"No humans."

-"Exactly."

-"Would you like to add me? I'm not super comfortable with everyone seeing this."

-"Why?"

-Stupid. I should have accepted without questioning.

-"To prevent everyone from knowing the secrets of the sexiest elf on the discord."

-Always there to catch my blunders.

-I accepted it even though suddenly there was added pressure, what to say when there's a pause?

_____________

-"A dragon arrives and—"

-My eyes glanced at my notifications. Kyle was in the campaign but—

-"The narration is terrible, isn't it? The guy has been stuck on the dragon for thirty minutes while Théis killed it."

-He was writing to me. Like someone whispering in your ear during class.

-"Yes, Roxanne is a beginner, but she'll get there."

-"So kind."

-"Not really, one day I insulted a game master."

-"Oooh, a gangster among us?"

-"Never, besides, you'd arrest me, wouldn't you?"

-The ellipses seemed to linger.

-"I wouldn't mind."

-Oh.

-"I don't want to end up in a secret government cave."

-"Caves are old school, we have containers now."

-"I don't know if you're joking."

-"Classified."

-"Gaz…"

-"I'll keep the secret, I think you won't have a choice but to be arrested by me someday."

-"… it won't happen."

-"Why?"

-"I haven't committed any crimes."

-"Not even indecent exposure? I thought you were 45 years old and hiding in bushes naked."

-"For that, I'd have to leave my house."

-"Quite the homebody?"

-"You could say."

-"I'm the same, I don't like going out much."

-It's different. I didn't know what to add, so I let him continue the conversation.

-----------------------------

-"Still into your nerd stuff?"

-Gaz looked up at Soap.

-"It's not nerd stuff." Gaz said.

-"Dragon, princess, elf, discord all mixed together. It's nerd stuff. "Ghost replied

-"Dressing up as a skeleton at Hot Topic too, L.t."

-"Ooh, I wouldn't have liked that. "Soap laughed. "But seriously, don't you think about doing it for real? I mean, gathering around a table."

-"They think about it, but we all live in different parts of the world."

-But it would be amazing. Maybe he could even hear Silent's voice, see them…

-"Hm." Johnny said with a smirk

-"What?"

-"It sounds like you have someone in mind."

-"I don't have anyone in mind."

-"Not even an elf you get along with, Garrick?" Ghost retorted

-"I- we're a duo, it

-"It's different."

-"I mean it, we just get along."

-"So if you check discord in a military bar at 11 p.m., it's not to reply to him second by second?"

-"Shut up," Gaz said as the two laughed.

__________________________

-"You're not participating anymore?"

-I ignored his message.

-Three months.

-Three long months of descent, of confinement, of discomfort, of crises.

-Everything was too much.

-Crowds, outside, errands, people.

-My lungs constricted at the thought of meeting someone's gaze. My eyes avoided every contact. My lips were dry from lack of words.

-"I admit that campaigns suck without you," he had written.

-That was two weeks ago.

-"I refused to play with Théo, he wanted to take your place," he had sent.

-That was three months ago.

-"The office GIF."

-Three weeks.

-He… Gaz had never stopped.

-No matter the views, the winds, his boldness didn't stop.

-I was confused.

-Usually, people quit after a month.

-They had better things to do, and I understood. The burden of my social anxiety was mine and shouldn't inconvenience them.

-So why was Gaz standing there carrying this burden unknowingly? Coming back every day, bearing a heavier load…

-"hey."

-Three letters.

-Too short.

-Too dry.

-"Sorry." I continued.

-For what?

-I didn't deserve his forgiveness, I knew it.

-"Glad to see you're back :)" he replied.

-A tear rolled down my cheek.

-"thank you." I replied by text.

-For staying.

-For not asking questions.

-For welcoming me.

______________

-"Sorry, I was at the hospital, do you think I can join the campaign or not?" he had sent.

-My eyebrows raised.

-"No. Wait, you're just out of the hospital and your concern is DnD?"

-"I should really stay by my favorite elf's side."

-"Gaz, seriously, are you okay?"

-"Fractured ribs."

-"Ouch."

-"Broken arm."

-"Wait, what—"

-"And a bullet in the thigh."

-"Wtf."

-"But I'm fine."

-"No."

-"I assure you, I've had worse."

-"And???? You need to rest, not focus on rolling dice to defeat Mindflyers."

-"…but I have no distractions."

-"I'm here."

-"You're in the campaign."

-"No."

-"Wait, what—"

-"I- I saw you were absent so I didn't…join that one."

-"But you only play on that day."

-"I know. But it's not the same without you."

-I didn't know he was currently smiling like an idiot.

-"Thanks, Silent."

-"No worries. Besides, I was also coming out of the hospital."

-"WHAT?! Why didn't you start with that?!"

-"It's ridiculous."

-"No, are you okay?"

-"It's awkward."

-"Oh, serious awkward or-?"

-"No, I'm used to it. I- I took the tram and I couldn't handle it, the crowd was too big, I passed out inconveniencing a hundred people, embarrassing."

-"That's not embarrassing."

-"Yes, I made people late, Gaz."

-"And??? It was for your health."

-"No, I should've known I couldn't handle taking the tram. It's been two years since I couldn't do it, I shouldn't have tried again."

-"Two years?"

-Shit. I said too much.

-"Forget that."

-"Wait, no. You help distract me when I'm on base, I can listen to you in return :)! "

-"There's nothing to say, I don't handle social stuff, that's all."

-"So, your mic, that's it?"

-"Yes."

-"My sister has it too."

-"Has what?"

-"Social anxiety."

-"I see."

-"I know it's different for everyone, but don't give up. Honestly, it's a huge step, right? Taking the tram after two years. Surely you wouldn't succeed all at once, I mean it's like rolling a 20-sided die hoping for a 35."

-I snorted.

-"Nerd."

-"You're a nerd too, Silent."

-"yes, I- I just thought I could succeed, tell myself I could do it."

-"You did it."

-"I passed out."

-"So what? next time can't be worse."

-"Yes, if I have another one."

-"Then you'll have another one, I'm sure you'll manage. Look, I can even show you a tutorial."

-I furrowed my brows and saw a video. A man in an apartment, a cast on one arm, his face cut off from the frame.

-"Quick tutorial for falling on a tram. So lesson 1, stand next to a tall person. We want a good pillow when we fall, so tall people are perfect. Then manage the fall. Fall on the person, not forward. We want to avoid a bloody nose. Especially if there are vampires on the horizon." Gaz said in the video.

-He lay on the ground pretending to fall.

-"Step three, play dead to see sexy firefighters and avoid stares, and step 4 get taken home while flexing in the truck."

-I snorted.

-"Wow, thanks for the tutorial."

-"I know, I know. Passing out pro here."

-"Do you often fall on fridges?"

-"Hm, considering the build of my colleagues, you could say that."

-"Are they as tall and wide as a fridge?"

-"My L.T. yes. With Soap, we even thought he was an android, I mean it's not human to be that built."

-"You look fit too."

-"Oh, a compliment?"

-"Gaz, I-"

-"But yes, honestly, I try to do his routine but I think his genetics play a big part."

-"Shame, no Fridge Gaz then."

-"No, you'll have to settle for Normal Gaz."

-A smile slowly spread across my face.

-"Thanks for the video, it was funny."

-"You're welcome. Plus, if I can flex with my favorite elf."

-"I'm not an elf."

-"Nothing proves me wrong."

-"Gaaaaaazzzz"

____________________________

-"Who are you posing for? "

-"No one."

-" So shirtless, sunlight, flexed arms for no one? Damn, don't tell me it's for your mom. "

-"SOAP!"

-" I'm just asking, man."

-" It's for Silent. "

-"Oh, your magical voiceless elf."

-" It's not— "

-"Yes, yes, not a magical elf, I know, no need to give me another DnD lecture."

-Gaz sighed.

-His selfie was good.

-Shirtless, in the sand, sun rising.

-He looked good.

-But he was nervous.

-What if it was too much?

-After all, this little game of sending each other sunrises or sunsets had started by chance.

-Silent had told him the view was beautiful and sent him a sunset from their window.

-Gaz replied with one from Las Almas, and eventually whenever he went to a new country, he would send a photo.

-But now… maybe it was too much?

-Sending his face.

-Price would kill him.

-But he wanted to progress the relationship.

-Maybe his face could appeal to Silent, they would send him a voice note or even a selfie back?

-"Is this too much? "

-"Hm? "Soap asked confused.

-"This photo, is it too much? "

-"For a thirst trap?"

-" To say hello."

-" It depends on the hello. "

-"Hello as in "I'm showing you my face for the first time." "

-"Oh, maybe. I thought it was a "hello, did you sleep well because look what I could bring to your bed" kind of thing. …But if I received this photo, I'd be happy. "

-"Soap. "

-"I mean, man, you're handsome."

-" Soap. "

-"Plus, who would say no to your abs? "

-"No need to- you know what, I'll send it. "

-"Also, you—"

-Gaz ignored him and sent it.

-Damn, he hoped everything would be fine.

________________________

-Beautiful.

-Too beautiful.

-My eyes scanned that smile not knowing what to do.

- How could someone like that end up playing DnD?

-I closed the conversation.

-I am…. Out of his league.

-So much.

-I could barely bring myself to look at my mirror.

-I knew what I would see there.

- My rolls, my thighs, my stretch marks, my horrible hair, this disproportionate face.

-I'm not ugly.

- But I'm not…I'm not like him

-. I'm the second choice, I'm aware of that.

-I don't get free compliments.

- Nobody turns back to look at me. I'm just…there.

-And him.

- He seemed so radiant, so kind. Damn, I wasted his time.

__________________________

-"So? " Soap asked

-"It's been two weeks with no response."

-" Ouch. "

-"It's not— Sometimes it happens, I think they are doubting."

-" Doubting what? "

-"Themselves. They…before every message, they take 5 minutes to rewrite it, every syllable is thought out and then I send this out of nowhere, I didn't handle it well."

-" You couldn't have known, Kyle. "

-"Yes. YES, I could and I messed up. They told me about their anxiety and then I send them a half-naked photo when I've never even heard their voice. "

-"Try to talk to them then. hmph."

_____________________

-"hey."

-My eyes hesitated.

-"hey." I finally replied

-" For the selfie, I can explain. "

-"No, I- it's not your fault."

-" Yes, honestly, I screwed up" he texted back

-". No, I've been looping again. "

-"You- "

-"seeing you, it was…good, really, but too good." I answered.

-" Too good?"

-"I feel- Illegitimate to talk to you. "

-"what- "

-"You're so- beautiful, and smiling and nice, and the only thing I do is disappear for days and turn up out of the blue. I-"

-" And it's okay, we talked about it." he said.

-" But you deserve better as friends."

-" I decide what I deserve, Silent. And no one beats you. "

-"…I- I don't know what to say. "

-"Send me your sunset :) I haven't had mine."

-Damn. A tear rolled down and I took my phone and sent my sunset. How can someone be so adorable?

-"Perfect." he replied

_________________

-He had continued to send his face on the sunsets. It was stupid, but I waited every time he could and I rewatched them.

-However, it had been three months of silence. I wasn't worried, he was probably on a mission somewhere.

-By a stroke of courage, I had put my phone down to take a photo with the sunset.

-He wouldn't see it. I would delete it.

-But for a moment, I felt beautiful. The sunlight on me warmed me, my outfit was cute, my curves were beautiful.

-I sent it. I would delete it tomorrow. After all, Kyle had said it could last four months.

___________

-"Hey, everything alright, mate?"

-"They're amazing."

-"Lasswell or tony ? For Lasswell of course, why do you think her wife is—"

-"Look."

-Soap raised an eyebrow and glanced at Kyle's phone.

-"Oh, oh."

-Kyle couldn't tear his eyes away from his screen

-. During the mission return, he had picked up his phone and seen a notification. Clicking out of habit, he saw it.

-their smile, their hair, their body. My god.

-"Lucky bastard." Soap said.

-They were perfect. And their belly, their hips, everything was beautiful. Kyle had always preferred curvy people, it was a fact.

-Sure, he had imagined that silently they could be one, but the fact that it was true… It filled his heart with joy.

-"They… damn. "he murmured, zooming in on every detail.

-Mole or freckle, he observed every pixel.

_____________________

-"So the elf wasn't the only one sexy." he texted.

-I raised an eyebrow at the notification as I woke up.

-"Hm?"

-"The photo. "he replied.

-Oh fuck.

-"You saw it?"

-"Yes, I shouldn't have?"

-"I thought of deleting it before, I—"

-"Oh."

-"But did you like it?"

-"Yes. you— I— honestly, I can't stop looking at it. you look radiant."

-He was lying. -No?

-"And that outfit is amazing on you, really."

-It hugs everything, why… why is he complimenting that?

-Usually, people say "those jeans make you look thinner than you are" "you look better in loose clothes" "hide your rolls".

-"Thank you."

-" I have to admit I'm so relieved. I mean if you ended up being a 40-year-old, I wouldn't have been so confident I think."

-"Oh really, wrinkles and gray hair aren't your thing?"

-"No, I'm more into curves and people my age."

-"Damn, I was about to confess that I was 70 years old". I joked.

-"I can make exceptions, but only for elves."

-"I'm lucky then."

-"Very. I— I hope to have more, or occasionally."

-"Of?"

-"Photos of you, it's more beautiful than a sunset."

"-oh."

-A warmth spread to my cheeks, a smile settling in.

-"ok."

-"ok?"

-"Okay."

___________________

-"Do you think I'll hear your voice someday?"

-It was late, or early for him and late for me.

-"I don't know."

-showing my face in a photo…

-I could control that, take back the photo, delete it, edit it. But talking…

-Talking is taking up space.

-"I imagine it smooth."

-"My voice?"

-"Hm, like a stream, it rocks slowly."

-"I might have a smoker's voice."

-"That would suit you too."

-"Maybe one day then."

-"I'm looking forward to that."

_____________________

-Those were the last words sent from him.

-No more contact.

-His absence wasn't due to missions, he had confessed to me that he was off the day before.

-So he had decided to stop.

-I tried to find excuses, before accepting the reality of it.

-Days passed and I hoped he would come back.

-Maybe he was like me, needing time to recover.

-Maybe he was hurt.

-Everything was silent.

-When four months had finally passed, I understood.

-He had grown tired of the silence. I held back a sob and closed the discussion.

-A stab wound would have been better I think.

-To ease the constant pain and intense questions in my mind.

-What had I done wrong? Was I too much? Did I ask the wrong question? Should I have kept quiet?

-Everything was spinning and I finally closed the app. damn.

_____________________________

-My feet led me to the publishing house.

-Today I had to make the final corrections for Madame Lasswell before her vacation with her wife Kate.

-Hesitant, I knocked on her door.

-An "enter" was heard and I entered the already crowded room.

- A mustached man in a beanie, a masked man, a mullet, Kate, and Gaz were watching me.

-My eyes betrayed my surprise at his presence. What was he doing here? Why now? How should I react?

-"Y/n, sorry for the crowd. I guess you have it."

-"Yes ma'am."

-My voice barely above a whisper was usual for Jocelyn. I handed her the manuscripts.

-"We're going to drink at the bar downstairs, do you want to come?"

-Come? To a crowded place, surrounded by drunk people, constant noise, blinding lights with the icing on the cake being a guy who blew me off for the year?

-"No, I'm busy tonight, sorry."

-"No problem."

-Slowly my heels turned, I took the elevator but I heard footsteps. Kyle was with me.

-"I was on a mission."

-"hm."

-"I know I told you no, but he… there were quite a few problems and I had to leave, I didn't have time to warn you, it dragged on, Ghost broke my phone by sitting on it with his stupid hard ass, and we just got back from the airport actually. Lasswell, Kate finally— she works with us so that's why I'm here"

-A silence stretched, he took a breath.

-"you didn't have to explain… I mean after the word mission, I understood I was wrong."

-"I wanted to be clear."

-"I should have asked and sent you messages."

-"No, it's okay, it must have seemed suspicious. I ask for your voice, you say no, and I disappear. The conclusion was logical."

-"but it wasn't the right one."

-"It's okay, we're here, aren't we?"

-"yes."

-The elevator rang, the door opened. Hesitant, I watched him.

-"I love it." -"hm?"

-"your voice."

-"Oh."

-"I… you're really busy tonight or…"

-"No, I just don't like…"

-"The crowd."he guessed

-"Hm."

-"I— I can invite you for dinner? At my place, we'll grab takeout, no crowds, no one to see us."

-"That sounds like the pitch of a serial killer."

-He widened his eyes. I snorted.

-"Okay, you got me." he chuckled.

-" At your place sounds good. Better than a restaurant." I admitted.

-"Cool, so…"

-"Shall we go then, yes". I murmured as he finally released the elevator button and we stepped out of the elevator.

_________________

-At his place, everything was calm.

-Not me.

-How should I stand? Too close? Too far? What to talk about? And what if I'm boring in the end? What to order? Does he like seafood or is he allergic? My eyes focused on every detail and…

-Everything's fine.

-His hand on mine, he took the initiative for the restaurant to order, asking me my preferences, and we waited for the delivery guy.

-Slowly, he asked questions about my work. I mastered it.

-And slowly everything unfolded naturally.

-Sitting on his couch, his hand not letting go of mine, he drew circles with his thumb while talking.

-I liked that. In groups, I liked… listening.

-People like to talk about themselves and I like listening to that, not participating, and Gaz understood that in such an impressive way.

-Occasionally, he asked questions in return, gauging my desire to speak, I answered and this back and forth held until the food arrived.

-Maybe everything would turn out for the best.

-Standing in front of his door, I didn't know what to add to this evening.

-A not-so-stranger, three years of virtual chat and now I was unable to figure out the right goodbye on his doorstep.

-Hesitant, we observed each other.

-"I hope we'll do this again."

-"Yes. "I replied.

-He stepped forward.

-I remained still, his face close to mine. -Kiss? Cheek? Goodbye? Whisper? -Which action would he choose? -I wished for a dice to decide, a title, or a "Gaz approves".

-"May I?"

-Oh. -I nodded. -His hands on my hips, he placed a brief kiss on my lips. -"I'm glad we managed to break the silence." -"me too."

-Perhaps, after all, I wouldn't return to my solitary silence tonight. His hands guiding me back to his apartment and the door closing behind us.

-I could easily guess that a die had just been thrown for a long evening and we both seemed to have the right score.

If you want more my COD Masterlist

#cod x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #gaz x reader #kyle garrick x reader #kyle gaz garrick x plus size reader #cod x plus size reader

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keepingitformyself · 11 months

Text

learning to warm cold hands

A/N: i don’t know what this is????? just a bunch of love nonsense because i was in the absolute mood for love (you’ll see). will it make sense? idk. the ending was intentionally made abrupt… hope u like it tho :]

synopsis: two people who love each other belong together. that’s it.

pairings: natasha romanoff x reader

genre: fluff?

warnings: none i don’t think…

please do not repost my work anywhere for any reason at all. if you do see this happen to any of my stories, please let me know. thank you x.

—————————————

natasha still doesn’t know how to deal with it; being loved.

but every little obstacle she has ever faced in her life has been that she had to deal with it.

sometimes she’s still a bit astonished at the fact that she has an entire family who has her back, a sister who calls just to annoy her, a best friend who defends her, and you who she comes home to, to kiss and to love endlessly.

natasha thinks that in some sense she had always been in love with you. for the amount of time you’d know each other she thought it was so strange that it took so long for you to be together.

you were always there, in plain sight. then one day, the stars decided to align and you were there and she had finally seen the light.

so yes, natasha decides that you were the best thing she’s ever had to deal with. being in love with you? she will own up to it for as much as she can.

she has accepted the scary fact that she must let herself be known. she shall let you unravel her and climb inside her heart and choose to stay. she will deal with the consequences of it later, but she hopes not.

she carries a polaroid of you in her wallet as a reminder of this. it’s there when she opens it to pay for dinner with you, or groceries, or when she sees a bouquet of lillie’s she thinks you’d appreciate.

and when she comes home to your shared apartment you’re there in the kitchen cooking a meal for her.

‘my grandmas recipe. i know you loved them when she came to visit us.’ you say as you stir a pot on the stove. she lets out a laugh through her nose and comes up behind you for a hug.

‘i made it dairy free for you. i know you’re trying to cut that off a little.’ natasha’s heart swells even bigger.

when the food is ready and the table is set and you’ve put the lillie’s in a vase at the center of the table, you will sit together and eat. natasha will listen to you as you tell her about the dish.

how you cried chopping the onions and had to take a break in between, how much you thought about her liking this meal while you made it, and how you specifically only used red and orange peppers because you remember her telling you that ‘green is boring when it comes to vegetables’ and when you’re done with your rambling you’ll reach over the table and kiss her.

she’ll tell you she loves you and you tell her she has onion breath and you’ll both laugh and god being in love is such a beautiful thing.

but everyone has their bad days.

you usually enjoy the rainy weather but it’s that time of the month and it’s effecting your mood swings greatly. natasha offers to go out and buy your favorite snacks and a deli sandwich from the bodega two blocks down.

you decline her offer with a sad smile and hide yourself under the covers of your shared bed. natasha sighs, she knows you better than that. she knows how badly you want all those things but she also knows how much of an inconvenience you feel like when you get like this. she tries to let you know that she’s okay with going out in the rain to make you happier.

you don’t budge, instead you groan into the pillows and hide further into the sheets. ‘i just need to be alone for a while.’ you mutter, a bit annoyed.

with a new determined mindset she decides she’ll give you the space you need. she brushes off all comments you made and grabs her coat before quietly leaving out the front door.

the rain doesn’t bother her one bit. she makes it to the bodega in record timing and orders from the deli. your order leaves her mouth as if she were ordering for herself.

‘can i have teriyaki grilled chicken on a sourdough with three slices of mozzarella and honey mustard, some grilled onions on the side too, can you also toast the bread for about thirty seconds longer? please, thank you.’ she orders for herself and smiles at the man working the grill then sets off on finding your desired snacks.

she’s quick with it, easily acquiring the cucumber lime gatorade you love so much, a payday bar and baked hot cheetos. she pays at the front where her deli order waits and rushes home to you.

she checks her phone on the way only to find it with four missed calls from you. the worst comes to mind and she’s home within two minutes.

she finds you on the couch looking small, her heart drops when she spots the tears that stain your cheeks. ‘i thought you were upset after i told you i wanted space.’ you mumble out. natasha sighs and sets the stuff down. she takes careful steps towards you, afraid you might disappear if she does anything too quickly.

‘no..’ she grasps your cheeks, her thumb brushing along your cheekbones. ‘i just wanted to make you feel better.’ she kisses your forehead. ‘it wasn’t anything to do with me being upset.’

you look down almost in shame. you hate being so sensitive, it makes you worry even more and you feel like an even bigger bother when things like this happen. your mind gets way ahead of your heart and you let things bother you that you know shouldn’t.

natasha notices the wheels turning in your brain. she recognizes the mental battle you’re having with yourself. your shoulders slump a little, she knows you’re tired. you’re biting your lips to keep from saying anything.

‘hey..’ natasha whispers. her heart clenches a little. it’s such a silly thing, all this. the normal you wouldn’t have let anything get this far. she laughs a little at the fact. screw periods.

‘why are you laughing?’ you’re confused and your girlfriend is laughing at you. it makes her laugh a little more and you grow a little impatient.

natasha pulls you in closer. her arms enclose around your waist and her chin rests on your shoulder. ‘i love you, okay?’ she whispers it in your ear.

she hugs you tighter.

‘whatever you’re thinking right now is only half true.’ she tells you. you’re just as confused as ever and you’re about to ask her what she means but then she’s pulling away and grasping your cheeks in her hands.

‘i want to be inconvenienced by you.’ the look in her eyes is as soft as ever. her lips have a slight tremble to them. ‘please bother me, like all the time.’

‘you are the very notion of my existence. i want everything that i do to be for you.’ she says it with that raspy tone in her voice, you know she means everything she’s telling you.

you are putty in her hands at this point, she went out and ordered your favorite comfort meal in the pouring rain…after you told her not to. because she knows you. the intimacy of it all, she knows you and she chooses to stay after the stupid things that come out of being with you.

she notices the slight furrow of your eyebrows, you’re processing what she’s just told you. you never say anything, instead you pull her in and bury your nose into her shoulder. natasha hears your inhale and she holds you even tighter.

she smells like home. like the candle you love to leave on all day, the fabric softener you use to wash her clothes, that perfume you complimented her on your first date.

a silent understanding settles between you both.

you feel the absolute removal of any walls when around each other. you have seen sides of natasha not even her own best friend has seen, or her sister.

she makes the corniest jokes, you always laugh, sometimes snort and that makes you laugh even harder. when you’re having dinner it’s silent. but it’s a good silence. the silence is comfortable and she’s holding your hand while the other is holding her spoon and when either of you talk, it’s listening and you feel like the most heard person in the world.

it all feels so perfectly warm in the bubble you’ve created together. you feel so seperate from the rest of the world in the best ways possible. in the they don’t us like we know us kind of ways.

you pull away to look at her. your heart is cradled in her hands.

#natasha romanoff #black widow #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x reader #marvel

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internet-ink · 1 year

Note

Would you write a fic where LW and reader have been best friends for years, both play for arsenal. They’ve both been in relationships until this year. Reader thinks she’s straight until she realises she’s in love with her best friend

Confessions

Thank you for the request anon!

I haven’t wrote anything like this before but I hope you enjoy it :)

This past year had been a difficult one. It started out great - I was with a wonderful guy, I was doing well at Arsenal, and I had my best friends surrounding me.

Then it all went to shit.

In the space of a week I had caught my boyfriend in his bed with another girl and my childhood dog had passed away.

This was ten months ago and now there was another issue arising. My landlord had decided that now would be a great time to evict me. One night I had a few people round and apparently someone had complained about the noise. He said that he had past complaints about the noise from my flat which just wasn’t true but I really couldn’t be bothered to argue with him.

I had nine days to find a new place to live. Originally I had planned to just find another place to rent, however with the days going by and having no luck finding anything I was beginning to worry.

“Y/N! Pass the fucking ball!” Katie shouted, interrupting my thoughts. I snapped out of my day dream and quickly passed the ball to her.

“Sorry.” I replied.

She ran over to me and put her hands on her hips in a sort of ‘you better tell me what’s going on’ way.

With a sigh, my shoulders deflated as my mind went back to all the issues in my life. “I’m just stressing about this whole finding a place to live thing. You’d think in a big city like London there’d be at least somewhere that was available. But no…anything that is available is just ridiculously expensive and out of my budget. Like what am I meant to do? Live on the streets? If my stu-”

“You could stay with me?” A voice from behind me interrupted my rambling, and a smile took over my face as I saw it was Leah.

Leah and I had been close friends since I joined Arsenal three years ago, I mean we were literally inseparable from the first day of training. She was there for me through everything that had happened this year and I was there for her while she was going through her break up with Jordan.

Up until a couple of months ago everything was normal between us but then I started to get butterflies whenever she gave me a hug which then turned into feeling awkward whenever she’d hold my hand - everything that felt normal before now turned me into a complete mess. I had come to the realisation last month that I was in love with her…with Leah.

“Uhh…em. Do you have the room?” I stuttered, mentally kicking myself for acting so awkward around her.

“Yeah, Jordan moved out a couple of months ago so I’ve got a spare room.” She shrugged although I could still see that the mention of her ex-girlfriend’s name hurt her.

I scratched the back of my neck out of awkwardness before replying. “Only if you’re sure.” I said while scrunching my face up.

“Y/N we’ve been best friends for years, of course I’m sure.” She smiled. My heart sunk at the words ‘best friends’. That was all we would ever be and it hurt to think of that.

“Okay well if you insist.” I giggled.

———

“Is that all you’ve got?” Leah asked after I brought all the boxes with my stuff from my car and into my new house. There was a significantly smaller amount of things with me now than what Leah was used to seeing at my old place.

“Uh yeah, I donated some stuff. Decided to start over.” I laughed. Leah took a box and carried it into my new room, which was across the hall from hers.

“Well this is you. Feel free to decorate obviously…just don’t go knocking down any walls.” She deadpanned making me uncomfortable before she started to laugh at me. Leah was always like this.

With a roll of my eyes, I started to unpack the first of my boxes. As I turned to place my fake bonsai tree on the bedside table I noticed Leah staring at me with a small smile on her face, snapping out of it when she noticed I was looking at her.

“Takeaway pizza for dinner?” She asked.

“Yup. Plain cheese?” I replied. She nodded with a chuckle before turning to leave the room.

I spent the next hour or so unpacking everything and decorating the once plain room. It felt weird knowing that this room once belonged to her ex, I wasn’t entirely sure if they did sleep in the same bed while they were together, but I did know that this room was Jordan’s from the previous times I had come over. It just never once occurred to me that I would be living here with the girl that I had a fat crush on. How was I going to survive this? How would I manage if Leah ever brought home another girl or guy? I didn’t know how to feel.

“Y/N! Pizza’s here!” Leah called up to me from downstairs. I sighed to shake the doubts from my head before walking down to where Leah was waiting in the living room with one big box of pizza.

With a confused look on my face I opened the box, my confusion only growing as I confirmed that there was indeed only one pizza. “Where’s the other one?” I asked.

“Oh, I only ordered one. I thought we could share.” She shrugged as she sat on the couch and patted the cushion next to her, telling me to sit down.

My heart fluttered at the idea of sharing a pizza with her. “Cool. Sounds good.” I smiled, internally groaning at how weird I sounded. Leah returned a small smile before reaching over to take a slice.

Pull yourself together, it’s a pizza for Gods sake.

“You okay?” She asked with her hand covering her mouth to prevent the food from showing. I nodded before taking the seat that she had previously pointed at.

“Sorry, just in my own head.” I giggled as I grabbed a smaller slice than the one Leah had, letting out a small moan at the taste of it. Leah whipped her head to look at me with wide eyes as I blushed at the thought that I had actually done that out loud. “I’m so sorry, but holy shit where do you get this? This tastes better than most pizzas I’ve ate.” I exclaimed.

Leah laughed before shaking her head and wiping her hands with a napkin. “This chippy down the road. Discovered it when I was drunk and I’ve been loyal ever since. I can’t say I’ve ever moaned at the taste though.” She spoke, still laughing her head off. I rolled my eyes before taking another slice.

“Shut uppp.” I groaned. “It just slipped out.” I sighed, still feeling rather embarrassed about the whole situation. “Wait…you kept this delicacy from me this whole time?” I questioned, my mood now going from extreme embarrassment to confusion and slight betrayal.

“Guilty.” She put her hands up like she had been caught red handed before the both of us folded into each other in laughter. During our antics, Leah’s hand made its way onto the top of my thigh, making my breath hitch and my laughter halt. As her laughter stopped too, I looked up to see that she was already staring at me with a nervous look on her face and her eyes half closed, focusing on my lips.

“Leah?” I whispered. The tension in the room grew as the distance between us shrunk until I could feel her warm breath on my lips. My heart rate rapidly increasing as her eyes fully closed and her lips moved closer so that they were millimetres away from my own, my chest finally felt like it exploded as I finally felt the weight of Leah’s lips on mine.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and she wrapped hers around the back of my neck as her tongue licked my bottom lip, sighing as I opened my mouth wider and felt her consume me. We broke apart as the need for oxygen overcame us.

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

I panted as Leah looked intensely into my eyes, making me feel more nervous than I had ever felt. “Are you alright?” I finally asked as she had been quiet for quite some time.

She leant forward so that her elbows were resting on her knees and her head was in her hands. Feeling immediately off, I reached forward with her and placed a comforting hand on the back of her shoulder.

In all honesty I thought it would’ve been me that was like this if we ever kissed.

“What was that?” She finally asked, leaning back into the couch and staring at me again. I felt my heart sink as she asked that. She sounded annoyed.

“A kiss.” I deadpanned.

“Obviously.” She rolled her eyes. I let out a breath as I mentally prepared myself for the possible rejection that could come from my next statement.

“I like you.” I replied, now looking anywhere but Leah as I didn’t want to see the current look on her face. “No…I love you. I have for awhile - well, a couple of months anyway.” I continued.

“Really?”

I frowned as I stared into the wall behind Leah. “Yeah. I’m sorry.” I said.

As I was getting up, a hand on my knee prevented me from moving anywhere. I took a deep breath as I looked at Leah, not seeing the disgusted face I though I would, in fact she had a huge grin on her face.

“I love you too.” She stated, making my world feel like it crumbled. She actually liked me back? I sat back down next to her and looked at her with wide eyes.

“Really?” I replied.

She laughed and leant in closer to me. “Of course I do, I thought I made it obvious but maybe not? Ever since that night when you held me while I was drunk crying, not complaining once about the snot that I had gotten on your favourite jumper. I love you, Y/N.”

“I think that’s the most romantic thing someone has ever said to me.” I smiled, noticing the crinkles on her nose as she smiled and the small freckles that dotted her nose.

“Shut up and kiss me.”

#fanfic #arsenal #imagine #leah williamson #leah williamson x reader #lgbtqia #oneshot #request #wlw post #womens football #katie mccabe #romance #confession #leah williamson one shot #foorball #woso soccer #woso one shot #woso fanfics #woso x reader

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justanamesstuff · 11 months

Text

Didn't mean to hurt you baby - Matty Healy x f!reader

Matty is drunk and hurts her feelings with his words.

A/N: Had this in my drafts for a few weeks. I'm working on Chapter 8.5 but I needed a break from it. Hope you like it!! Reblogs, comments and all of that it's always welcomed ♥♥♥

Warnings: drunk rambles, mention of alcohol and weed, angst, hurt feelings, comments about bodies, Matty's a boob man, typos.

Word count: 1.8 K

Blog MASTERLIST

“Come on, sweets.” she said, trying to get Matty out of the car. After a night out with the rest of the band and their partners, saying that he was just drunk was very far from the truth. He was almost passed out from all he drank.

“Mmm.” Matty mumbled.

Answering to her commands, Matty leaned forward and almost meet the floor, tripping with his own feet. Y/n catch him by sneaking an arm around his waist, and passing his right arm to rest on her shoulders.

“Watch out, Matty.”

“Mm- sorry.”

She turned to look at his face, saying, “Can you walk or do you want me to help you?”

“I can…” he answered, drawing out his words. Y/n nodded, so they started the short–but long with him in that state– trip towards the bed upstairs. Matty spoked again when his girlfriend managed to open the front door while holding his body, “Y’know what I’ve been thinking?”

“No, you want to tell me?”

“Boobs.”

Y/n suppressed a laugh, “Okay?”

“Your boobs.” he clarified.

“What about them?”

They reached the bottom of the stairs, Y/n breathed loud, trying to gain enough force to push him up without him falling down the stairs.

Matty and Y/n touched the first step.

“They’re perfect.” Matty let his free hand touched the intricate patters on her shirt under her left boob.

Y/n went to thank him for the compliment, “Thank you ba-“

But Matty interrupted her, “Not perfect perfect, but perfect for me…”

She couldn’t help to feel hurt after hearing his words. Y/n thought he liked her body and usually felt like he was obsessed with her breasts. Always sneaking his hands under her shirts and hoodies to touch her skin but especially the soft skin of her boobs. ‘Don't him love me any more?’, the question popped inside her head.

“Let’s get you in bed.” she didn’t acknowledge his words out loud.

Y/n felt like the stair had more steps than she remembered.

Matty couldn’t seem to let go the topic, “They could’ve absolutely perfect if they were a tiny bit smaller….although I love them, I love you.” he talked directly to her chest.

“Are you talking to my breast, Matthew?”

“I’m just in love with her, y’know?” his words making less and less sense.

“I can see that.”

Y/n managed to drag Matty to their shared bedroom. Matty fell on the mattress with a loud sound.

“Okay, sleep. Now.” Y/n instructed him.

She took his clothes, leaving him to rest with only his boxers on. Matty closed his eyes when she tugged him in. Y/n quickly went through her night routine and joined him.

Matty felt her get under the sheets, “I love you.” he breathed out into her chest.

With his words still in her mind, Y/n hesitated to replied, “I love you, Matty.” because she mean it, although her heart was swelling.

……………………………………..

Matty woke up the next day. His head was hurting, his limbs weight more than usually, and his mouth was dry. Even though, her first realization that morning was the empty space beside him.

Y/n wasn’t in bed.

The singer huffed and groaned more than necessary, letting the world know he was in pain and craved the touch of his girlfriend. He wondered where she went, or she had mentioned having to do something that morning. He couldn’t recall anything.

Y/n was seated on the kitchen table, the sun touching her factions, while she read something on her phone. She was perfect.

“Hi, baby.” he let his hands rest on her shoulders, approaching his face to her neck, breathing her in.

“Hey.” she dryly said.

“You weren’t in bed.” Matty pointed out, hugging her from behind.

“Had to do some laundry.” Y/n moved forward, feeling nervous in his embrace. “I’m going to run some errands now. We’re out of milk…” she moved away from him. Matty felt his stomach twist.

He looked at her moved around the kitchen, leaving her mug on the sink, “Okay, do you want me to go with-“ he started to offer.

Y/n cut him, “No, it’s fine. Be right back.”

The sound of the door closing down let behind a very confused Matty. She hadn’t kissed him or even hug him. He felt hurt.

The frontman tried not to think too much into it. He walked towards the fridge. Looking for some eggs to cook, his hand found something. Milk. Matty stared at it, deeply puzzled. She lied? What’s going on?

——————

Late after lunch, Y/n made her way inside the house. The sound made Matty rushed out of his studio, startling her.

“Hi!” Matty shouted.

“Shit- Hey, you scared me!” Y/n brought a hand to her racing heart.

Matty looked down at her hand. They were empty.

“Sorry. Did you forget the milk in the car?” he wondered.

“What? Ah- Um…yeah, I’ll-“ Y/n started to turn around, avoiding his eyes.

“Y/n?” Matty asked.

“Yeah?” she reached for the handle, having him her back.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, why?” Y/n quickly answered.

Matty started walking, stretching the space between them, “Baby…”

“Fuck.” she said under her breath, feeling her eyes watered. “It’s…nothing.” While inside, she debated to tell him or not.

“It’s not nothing if you hide from me, and run out when I’m around you.” Matty accused her from a few steps behind her.

“I’m not-“

“Y/n, please tell me. I’ll help.”

“I- This is stupid.” Y/n let a hand ran through her forehead. She turned around, taking him in. She went to say something but closed her mouth. Matty waited. With one more look to his eyes, Y/n sighed loud, “Do you remember anything from last night?”

He tried to think, but his mind was blank.

“Not really, babe.”

“Mhm.”

“What did I do?”

“Why you think you did something?” Y/n let her hands touched the cold door behind her.

“Because you’re running away from me, my love.” Matty’s face softened, feeling like this was indeed a big deal.

“You- It’s nothing major, you just made some comments.” She avoided his eyes.

“About?”

“Me.” Y/n choked a little.

Matty felt instantly bad, “What did I say?”

“You don’t really remember?” she almost pleaded.

“I swear to god…” Matty approached her fully, taking her chin in his hand, forcing her to look to his eyes. “Even though I’m an atheist.” He tried to joke. “George brought this weed seed…that blown my mind, and it was a mistake to mix it with alc-“

“Matty.” she interrupted, exhausted with his long speech.

“Sorry, sorry…I don’t remember, I swear!”

“Okay, I believe you. Thing was…” she looked everywhere around his face, but not his eyes. “You made some comments about my body, about my…breasts.” Y/n finally admitted.

“Y/n, just tell me.” Matty tried to found her eyes.

“Do you find me attractive? Like be the most superficial about it right now.” she dared to ask.

“Y/n? Baby…”

“Abstain yourself, answer my question.”

“I do! You’re the hottest chick out there…I- I don’t even know where to start without sounding like a total douche.”

“What about my breasts?”

“You mean my girls?” he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Matty…”

“I adore them, you know that. If you allowed me, I’d have my hands and…or…my mouth there all the time. I’ll do it without skipping a bit. I thought you knew that.” Matty let his hand fell to his side.

“I thought I did…”

“Tell me what I said.” he requested.

“‘They are perfect…’”

“See?” Matty smiled wide.

She continued, “‘Not perfect perfect but perfect for me’ well, you…you know.” Matty went to interrupt himself, Y/n held a finger up. “They would be perfect perfect if they were a bit smaller.”

“Y/n.”

“So now you know why I was avoiding you.” she stated, feeling her eyes stung.

“Baby.”

Her lip was quivering when she said, “You can’t comment on my body like that, Matty. I don’t care how stoned or drunk you were, are…you just can’t. Because over all morality, you hurt my feelings.”

Matty took her face in his hands, “Y/n, I'm so, so sorry, baby.” She didn’t say anything. “I’m a fucking asshole, a twat….fuck, I don’t deserve you, I really don’t. Please forgive me.” He approached his face really close to hers.

“It was horrible to hear it from your mouth.”

“I know…I understand.”

“I’d never do that to you. You’re perfect in my eyes, Matty. Even when perfection is impossible.” Y/n moved uncomfortable on her spot.

“You’re perfect perfect in my eyes, baby.” he hid his face on her neck, sneaking his arms around her waist.

“Apparently I’m not.” her words made him leaned backwards.

“Y/n…”

“I couldn’t sleep thinking about how you probably fancy another girls more than me…and you’re around models all the time-“

“Y/n, stop.” he begged. “I don’t want anyone the way I want you, I need you…body and soul. You’re my everything. I want to worship you, your body, for the rest of my fucking life. Please tell me how to fix this.” Matty dared to peck her lips softly.

“Don’t lie to me, Matty.”

“I’m not lying! I swear, I’m sorry- I just- please believe me when I tell you…”

“Matty-“

“Let me show you then.” he urged her.

“No, I’d be self-conscious.”

“I can beg.”

Y/n kept her silence. Matty stared at her eyes. She felt like he was sincere and continued fighting was a waste of time. Although she wanted to take the advantage she had at the moment.

“Can you?”

Matty instantly dropped to his knees, without breaking the eye contact.

“Please, Y/n.”

“It’s not fair that you’re so pretty.” she whined, instructing him silently to move back up.

Matty kissed her fully. He felt completed once more after one long day of not having her.

“I love you…I’m sorry for being such a shitty boyfriend.” he apologized.

“You're not shitty…there are things you have to learn, me too.” Y/n explained.

“And I want you to teach me.”

“Sure.” she smiled.

Matty took a step back, looking down at her body, “I’m sorry girls.” going to press his face on her chest. The scene made her laugh, and Matty’s insides fluttered.

“Such a weirdo.” she chuckled.

“I love you too.”

“I love you. Next time I’m dumping your ass though.” she warned him.

“Yes, ma’am! There’s not going to be next time, I promise!” Matty left a trail of kisses reaching her neck.

“Ok…although, there’s a lot of reassurance you have to do, Healy.” Y/n took her hand, leaving the entrance of their house.

“With pleasure, my beautiful, drop dead gorgeous girlfriend.” Matty said, trailing behind her.

Y/n rolled her eyes at him, “Don’t push it.”

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yourfavoritewitchbitch · 8 months

Text

Evermore Part 4

Summary: It’s been 7 years since the love of your life left you behind for his career. When he decides to come back, is it too late to start anew? Will you decide to start over or realize what's been right in front of you this whole time?

Chapter Summary: Backstory for Eddie and Peach.

Chapter Warnings: 18+ MDNI! AFAB reader. Angst (of course). Hurt/no comfort. Alcohol/drug use. Brief, soft smut. P in V. Minimal use of Y/N. Reader is given the nickname Peach.

Word Count: 6.3K

Masterlist

June – 1985

Another party was in full swing at the Harrington residence. It was an unusually muggy, sticky night. Everyone that was somebody at Hawkins High, as well as a few nobodies were in attendance. Steve never minded who showed up. Drinks were flowing, the smell of weed and sweat clung to the air; hormonal laced teens spaced throughout the house and back yard out by the pool, and more than a few getting some relief in the cool water. The epitome of high school parties. This was Steve’s last hoorah before starting a summer internship and then off to college.

You were sitting in one of the loungers, cut-off denim shorts and billowy tank to help with the sweltering temperature. Even past sundown, the heat radiated from the concrete surrounding the pool. He saw you across the yard, lost in your own little world, nursing your drink. Running in different circles, you’d never talked at school, but he knew you weren’t one of those bully types, though you were popular. He knows that infectious smile that could captivate anyone lucky enough to be graced with it sent their way.

You were zoned out, thinking about refreshing your drink when he sidled up in the lounger next to you.

“Hey, this seat free?” he blurted out, not knowing what else to say in the moment.

Initially jumping from the voice, then turning then to see who had spoken, “Oh hey.” The metalhead looked a little frazzled, out of sorts. “I’m not looking to get stoned tonight, so don’t bother trying to sell any. I don’t do that around big crowds.”

You knew Steve invited the local drug dealer to all his parties, even though neither he nor you did any of the hard stuff; just the occasional blunt being shared when it was just the two of you. He said it was for effect, King Steve trying to stay on top.

“Oh, that’s not… I mean… Yeah, I sell. I was just chilling,” Chilling? Had he just said that out loud? He internally groaned.

“Sorry, that’s cool. I shouldn’t have just assumed. Eddie, right?” you smiled radiantly at him then. You knew HIS name.

“Yeah, that’s me. You’re uh… Harrington’s girl, right? Y/N?”

You snorted, “I’m not Harrington’s girl. We’re just close friends. And you can call me Peach, everyone else does.”

The two of you hit it off instantly. You hadn’t judged him for not graduating yet, even offering to tutor him if needed, he would gladly take the offer if it meant spending more time with you. You had even gone as far as commending him for not giving up like most people would already have.

“Yeah, well, if I don’t graduate this time my uncle will kill me.” He barked a laugh, slowly taking a drag of the blunt he now held.

“You’re into D&D, aren’t you? You’re, what do they call it…? Oh, Dungeon Master!” you snapped your fingers as it came to you, he nearly choked on the drag.

“You,” he pointed for emphasis, “Ms. Popularity, know about D&D?”

“Oh yeah, Steve and I know these kids that are starting high school this fall that absolutely love it. I was hoping you might be looking for some new members. They’re good kids, I’m just worried how high school is going to treat them.” You stopped yourself before you started rambling too much, the alcohol starting to affect your mouth, as it usually did when you were buzzed.

“Hellfire could always use some new members; I thought you might be interested there for a sec,” he took another drag as he spoke. “Wishful thinking,” he mumbled to himself lowly, but you had caught it, shyly grinning to yourself.

“Sorry to burst your bubble Eds. They tried to get me to join in before, don’t get me wrong, I like the fantasy of it but it’s just not my thing.”

Eds, he liked that. He knew he was in trouble the moment he heard the nickname roll off your tongue so easily. He started to say something else, when he was interrupted by a gruff sounding voice from behind the two of you.

“Peach, this guy bothering you?” You both turned to look, Billy Hargrove staring daggers at Eddie, pointing to him, cigarette in hand, eyes briefly flicking to yours before landing back to the other boy.

“Oh, hey Billy, no, this is Eddie. He’s a friend.”

Billy seemed to think it over a beat, taking a drag from his smoke before speaking once again, “Alright Peach, I’m heading out, you need a ride home?” he stubbed out what remained of his smoke, heading toward you.

“Nah, I’m good. I’ll just stay here tonight. Be safe getting home and say hi to Red for me!”

“Sure thing, Princess. Don’t let Munson keep you up too late.” Winking at you as he walked away, rolling your eyes in reply.

“Ugh… odd company you seem to keep.” Eddie was a little dumbfounded. He knew Hargrove as a grade-A asshole. Even going as far as beating the shit out of Harrington last year if his memory was correct.

“I know what you’re thinking, I tolerate him. Don’t get me wrong, still a total dick but uh, he really changed over the past couple of months. His dad left his stepmom, and Billy was caught in the middle, with Max his kid sister. Now that guy, Neil, was a real piece of work. Max and I are close.” Eddie nodded along with the story of woe you told, pondering how a girl like you wasn’t already taken. Beauty, brains, and it was obvious the compassion you held for others.

“But, uh, I guess you could say our little group of friends is a bit odd to people on the outside looking in. Oh, Max lives at Forest Hills now. You may have seen her, broody girl with fiery red hair. Can’t miss her!”

Eddie had remembered seeing them the day they moved in. He had said hi to her in passing but she wasn’t much for talking. Stayed mostly to herself.

The rest of the night went by too quickly, chatting with Eddie into the early morning hours. Party goers eventually ran out of alcohol and energy, just a handful still mingling and talking amongst themselves. You and Eddie enjoying the quiet bubble you had created for yourselves.

You suddenly stopped Eddie mid-sentence when you heard I was Made for Lovin’ You by KISS begin over the speakers as you started to loudly sing along.

“Tonight, I wanna give it all to you… In the darkness, there’s so much I wanna do…” you stopped when you noticed Eddie slack jawed, taken aback, staring at you a little bug eyed with a quizzical look plastered to his face.

“I’m so sorry! This is one of my favorite songs. I just couldn’t help myself!” Your laughter rang out, as you continued, “I was made for lovin’ you, baby,” pointing to him, then to yourself, “You were made for lovin’ me!”

He laughed out at your energetic outburst, “Ever a surprise, Peach.”

Steve eventually came downstairs, looking for you and spotted you sitting with the metalhead. At first, he thought he may have been bothering you, but he heard you laugh, throwing your head back. You were enjoying yourself. He smiled to himself and left to grab some water and aspirin, knowing by the way you sounded you’d need it in the morning.

“Well,” Eddie finally resigned, watching your eyes grow heavier by the minute. “It’s late, or early…,” checking his watch. “I guess I better head out.” He stood, tucking his metal lunchbox under his arm. “It was a pleasure, Peach.”

He bowed dramatically and winked holding out his hand out expectantly. You placed your hand in his, feeling the buzzing electricity from his touch. Noting his warm skin in contrast to the coolness of his rings. He slowly brought your much daintier hand to his plush lips and placed a soft kiss there at the top of your knuckles.

He rose, reluctantly letting go, your hand dropping with a soft thud back to your lap. “So, uh… If you ever want to come watch my band play, we’re at the Hideout every Tuesday night, for now at least.”

“That sounds nice Eddie, I’ll have to take you up on that before Summer ends.”

He smiled so sweetly and vast, dimpled cheeks on display and big does eyes shining brightly.

“See ya ‘round Peach!” with that he was out the door your eyes trailing after.

It was then that Steve rounded the corner, leaning against the doorframe. Crossing his arms against his chest with a smug look on his face. You knew you’d never hear the end of his teasing.

“Not a word!” you held up your hand to shush him.

“What?” he made his way over to you. “Just shocked you actually talked to a dude all night, especially Munson.”

“What? I offered to help him study so he can graduate next year.”

“Right. That looked like a lot more than just talking about school.” Pointing toward the door Eddie had just let out of.

“I’m going to bed!” You yelled over your shoulder as you headed to the guest room. You heard him laughing behind you.

You had gone to see Corroded Coffin that very Tuesday. The rest of the guys were entirely shocked that someone their age had come to see them, especially someone of the opposite sex. Dubbed you their first groupie, mostly as a joke. Eddie ate it up.

“Hey now,” he warned them. “She’s here to see me, that makes her my groupie.” Throwing you a wink and a smile, making your cheeks flush the slightest shade of pink from the attention.

You loved watching him on stage, completely in his element. He was made to be up there in the spotlight. The way his nimble fingers played the notes perfectly, his curls bouncing with every bob of his head enjoying every moment on stage. Tossing another wink your way when he found your eyes already on him. You were mesmerized.

The summer had gone by more quickly than you had anticipated. Days mostly spent by Steve’s pool or taking the kids here and there. Nights were filled with hanging out with Eddie, usually to watch him practice. On nights reserved for Hellfire, you joined as a spectator loving every theatrical moment.

At first, Steve didn’t like the idea of you dating “the freak” from Forest Hills, given his reputation and of course his source of income. They eventually warmed up to each other, only from your insistence because you wouldn’t have them hating each other. Though you could still detect a hint of jealousy here and there on Eddie’s part. You knew Steve was always looked out for you with only the best of intentions.

By the time Fall made its debut, you were completely gone for him. It admittedly took your head a little longer to admit what your heart had already been telling you. If Eddie had been honest with himself, he had fallen for you the night you’d first talked.

As promised, you’d helped him study and pushed him. He graduated the following May, much to Wayne’s delight. The older man adored you from the first moment you met.

“Get together kids!” He yelled, polaroid at the ready. Your faces smooshed together, but at the last second you had turned, looking up at him with admiration in your eyes and the brightest smile you could muster.

Being this close, you could see the smattering of freckles that dotted the top of his nose and cheeks, the young Spring sun helping coat his usual alabaster skin with the faintest color. The way his lashes lightly kissed his cheek when he blinked. His smile, big and bright, dimples on display. You wanted to soak in his happiness and drown in his laughter. That was when he snapped the photo. This was the photo that was still hung at Wayne’s. Anyone could recognize the love radiating from that single glance forever caught in time.

June – 1987

You were sat in the small apartment you shared with your boyfriend, listening to him lazily strum his guitar, only stopping to hum to himself and write down lyrics or notes on the pad that lay beside him, while you were trying to catch up on some reading. The sun began to set, orange and pink hues of the evening sky sending shadows dancing around the room.

He was perched on the stool in front of the window with a cigarette held loosely between his lips, bare chest on display, grey sweats slung low on his hips. He was occupying far more of your attention than the book in your hands, as you peeked over the top for the 100th time.

You were done with your first year of community college, and everything was looking up for the both of you. Eddie was still working on his music, playing different gigs every weekend, and gaining quite a bit of traction in Indianapolis. The big city was much more than he could have hoped for. The audiences there really welcomed their type of music with open arms. Proud of all his hard work and what he had accomplished so far, though you never had any doubt more was to come.

You stayed in Hawkins with day jobs to keep you afloat. The apartment was cheap since the Hideout was just below, where you waitressed and Eddie bartended. It paid the bills and Hank, the owner who also happened to be your uncle, cut a great deal on the rent.

Finally admitting defeat and abandoning your book, you slid up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist. “Hey baby,” he hummed as he put the rest of cigarette out. “Hey handsome” you sighed and hooked your chin over his shoulder, “working on new stuff?”

“Just a little.” He moved out of your grasp long enough to put the guitar down and stood around to face you. Hand coming to rest on your hip, as his other caressed your cheek, thumb stroking your skin lightly before leaning down to put his lips to yours.

You moved your hand to the back of his neck to pull him closer, deepening the kiss, as his tongue slid languidly against your lips, begging for entry, giving in immediately. He tasted of the freshly finished nicotine and soda he had been nursing mixed with what you can only explain as Eddie. You melted into him, humming into the kiss.

“I love you,” you murmured against his mouth.

”I love you too sweetheart.” He sighed, wrapping his arms around you, enveloping you with his embrace.

When you thought of the good memories, these were the days that came to mind. Just the two of you enjoying each other. No worries, no hurried days.

Eddie finally felt that his life was headed in the right direction. He had received a call from an agent the day before and he had been in Indy all day meeting this Reggie guy in person. The boys were on the precipice of a lifetime opportunity. This deal could make Corroded Coffin a household name if they were lucky. One of the biggest dreams he’d ever had could be coming true.

He put the key in the lock to the apartment and was immediately met with you jumping into his arms. Smothering him in kisses to his cheeks, chin, forehead, and nose; ending it with a peck to his perfectly pouty lips. He had left early that morning, so you’d not able to tell him goodbye.

“Happy Birthday Baby!” You cheered and leant back to look at him, his eyes already looking you over, catching the slightest glint there. You were wearing a new dress, hugging your curves perfectly leaving nothing to the imagination that had him practically drooling onsite. He knew you had something planned.

“So, how’d today go?” you beamed up at him.

“It went great, but I don’t want to bore you with the details right now.” He was holding something back; this was a conversation meant for another time. He’d enjoy the night and fill you in on everything in the morning.

“Alright, well, if that’s how you want to be, we’ll wait but, I’ve got a surprise for you. So, follow me!” You took his hand, practically pulling him out the door.

“Baby,” he whined, pulling you back into the apartment to face him. “You sure I can’t unwrap my present first?” His eyes sparkled with mischief, pinning you under his gaze as he slowly pored over your form from head to toe.

You giggled in reply and pulled him back out the door. He huffed but followed, “Fine!”

You led him to the front of the Hideout and when you two entered, you were met with cheers, and screams of all your closest friends and family shouting, “Happy Birthday!” Hank had let you rent out the entire bar for the evening.

“Wow, sweetheart! All this for little old me?” snaking his arm around your waist and bringing you close nuzzling your cheek, before kissing you there.

“You sure know how to make a guy feel special,” he whispered close to your ear, breath fanning your skin, sending a shiver through you.

“Just wait until later handsome.” You moved close to his ear, so only he could hear. “If you’re a good boy, I’ll let you unwrap your present and you can enjoy it, All. Night. Long.” You placed a soft kiss to the pulse point right below his jaw. The place you knew would get him worked up before pulling away, leaving him speechless as you stepped away to speak to your friends. You looked over your shoulder as you walked away, the look on his face leaving you in a fit of giggles.

The night went on without a hitch. Everyone mingling amongst each other, drinking, and catching up.

“So, have you told her yet?” Gareth asked later in the evening, already buzzed.

“No! Lower your voice dumbass. I want to tell her in private.” He hissed back at him, gritting his teeth at the younger man as he took another swig of his beer.

“Got it… lips are sealed!” He made a zipping motion across his mouth, locking the end and throwing away the invisible key.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow man,” spotting you across the room then, giving him a slap on the back and tunning out whatever else Gareth had said as he walked away.

You were laughing with Robin and Steve, along with his flavor of the month. What was her name this time? Candy? Mandy? He couldn’t remember. What he could tell was this one seemed to be enjoying herself and didn’t mind the closeness you and Steve shared. Unlike most of the ones before. Eddie would be a fool if he didn’t admit some days it got on his nerves as well, but Harrington was actually a pretty good dude. And it was genuinely hard to hate the guy.

As he made his way over, he studied the way you were so animated in whatever story you were in the middle of. Your smile radiating sunshine that he could feel across the room. How’d he get so lucky to land his dream girl? He scooted in beside you possessively grabbing your hip, body pressed close to his nuzzling into the side of your neck, drowning in the smell of the perfume that he loved.

“Eww, you always get so clingy when your drunk” Robin mumbled into her drink. You smirked, loving how affectionate he was.

“Eds, baby, you remember Emily?” Oh yeah, Candy, Mandy was from last month.

“Hi again,” she was bubbly, “Happy Birthday!”

“Thanks!” pulling himself away from you.

Steve spoke up next, clapping him on the back with that signature Harrington smirk, “yeah, happy birthday man!”

“Thanks Harrington.” He spoke, but his half-lidded eyes were already drifting back to you. He could feel the effects of the alcohol and the lengthy day wearing him down.

Shoes in hand, long abandoned once they started to hurt your feet, you followed behind Eddie stumbling up the back steps to your apartment holding onto him with your free hand, as if he might drift away and leave you behind. He hurriedly opened the door as you both slid inside.

Your mouth was immediately on him, barely giving him time to shove the door closed with his foot, as you were pushing him against it, his back hitting it with a thud. It was a clash of teeth and tongue. You smoothed your hands up his torso, under his signature leather jacket, searching higher feeling the expanse of his chest and finally reaching his shoulders trying to help him out of the offending garment.

It was then you noticed some folded papers in the breast pocket that made you pause.

“What’s this baby?” You went to lift them from their position, but he was quick to snatch it back.

“Let’s uh… let’s talk about this in the morning, when we both have some clearer heads.” He went to kiss your neck, but you stopped him, pushing firmly on his chest to make him look at you.

“Eddie, I know your keeping something from me.” You were scared to look him in the eye then, looking down, picking at the skin around your nail instead. He never hid things from you, so you assumed the worst. He saw the worry etched on your face.

“Peach, baby, it’s nothing bad. Just a lot to take in. Hell, it’s still a lot for me to take in.”

“Then tell me!” you half shouted, growing frustrated, under the haze the alcohol held over you.

He slowly opened the folded packet as you watched him intently. He let out a shaky, nervous breath he realized he had been holding.

“This,” holding it up for emphasis, “Is a contract for Corroded Coffin with a very lucrative label company. They listened to a few songs today and immediately wanted to sign us.”

You jumped up throwing your arms around him. “Oh my God Eddie! This is amazing news!” he didn’t quite meet your hug with the same enthusiasm. You pulled away searching his face.

“What’s wrong with you? You should be bouncing off the walls!” He sighed and leaned back in, forehead meeting yours.

“I’m thrilled, truly, it’s everything I… we’ve ever wanted. They’re just waiting on my signature. The boys have already signed.”

“Eds,” taking his face in your hands, “what are you waiting for? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity! You have to sign! Baby, this is a no-brainer!”

“It’s just… If I sign this, it means I’ll have to leave Hawkins for at least 6 months, maybe longer. They want us to come to California immediately. And they’re only giving me the til’ the end of the week to decide.”

“Baby, listen to me. This is your dream!”

“Peach, I… I’m not sure I can do this without you there.” This was it, that’s what he’d been worried about this entire time. Not that the band might fail, he might fail but he was worried about leaving you behind. Wondering what kind of boyfriend he is for not taking you with him.

“Baby, I’ll always be here to support you, but I can’t go right now. We can do the long-distance thing for a while. You can call me every night and tell me about your big adventures. And you’ll come home as soon as you can. I’ll still be here.” You kissed his lips and pulled him in tighter. He melted into you then, nerves soothed. He just needed your support and reassurance.

“And, once you get back, we’ll see what the next steps are and go from there.”

Eddie signed that same night and dropped the contract off the next day. The rest of the week was a blur. The boys stayed in Indy to make sure everything was ready to go. Excitement and nerves bounding all around.

And finally, the day came. He boarded the flight to LA, leaving you and Hawkins in the proverbial rear view.

For the first couple of weeks, Eddie called you every day to let you know about his day and how everything was going. When they had gotten to LA it was a whirlwind of meetings, studio sessions and more meetings.

Within the first month they were already in talks of going on tour as an opener for Metallica. Eddie could have died then and there. But that also came with the possibility of being away from you longer.

As he got busier, it became harder to keep up with the nightly chats.

“Baby, It’s ok. I know you’re busy. As much as I love hearing from you every day, I understand if you can’t make it sometimes.”

“Peach, you are the absolute best. How the hell did I get so lucky?” He sighed, exhausted once again. “I miss you like hell.”

“Hey handsome, I’m the lucky one and don’t you forget it, but go get some rest. Call me in a day or so. I love you, Eddie.”

“I love you more! Goodnight baby.”

Eventually, the calls started coming in more infrequently. Understanding how demanding his lifestyle was; you weren’t going to complain, you just missed him. Being away from him was like missing a vital piece of yourself, but life, for all intents and purposes, had to go on.

February 1988

“Hello?” you huffed; voice groggy from being woken up in the dead of night.

“Peach! Baby!” Eddie practically yelled; you pulled the receiver from your ear at the sudden intrusion. There was music and voices in the background.

“Eddie? What’s… Are you at a party?” wiping your eyes as you sat up and looked at the clock that read 3:40. “Baby, have you been up all night?”

“Oh shit, I’m sorry baby. I know it’s late, I just… just had t’ hear your sweet voice.” As saccharine and earnest as he seemed, you could tell his words were slightly slurred. He was either drunk, high, or maybe both.

“Eddie? Are you ok? Are you staying safe?” your voice now an octave lower, laced with concern for your boyfriend.

“I’m soooooooo good baby. I just missed ya!” he purred. “Oh, hey Gare… Nah… Just Peach.” He spoke away from the phone then, muffled words, not catching what else was spoken between the two men. “Baby, I’m so sorry, the boys are heading out. I gotta go. I love you, see ya soon sweetheart.” He hung up without giving you the chance to reply.

You sat there stunned. Eddie liked to overindulge from time to time, but in all the time away he had never called you while faded, let alone at a party. His newfound fame leaving him in the public eye more often could lead to a lot of backlash if he did or said the wrong thing. He knew better, or at least you thought he did.

You waited until the afternoon to try the number to his apartment. It rang until the machine picked up.

“Hey, it’s Eddie, you know what to do” followed by the beep.

“Eds, call me back. Please.” You attempted a few more times. Always met with his voice on the machine, now seemingly mocking you. You stopped leaving messages after a few more tries.

It was two days later before he finally called back.

“Where have you been? I’ve been worried sick about you.”

“I’ve just been working Peach. Nothing to get worked up about.” He sighed.

“Nothing to get worked up about? You call me fucked up in the middle of the night and wait two days before calling me back and it’s nothing to get worked up about? I was worried about you Eddie!” agitated that he seemed so nonchalant about the whole thing.

“Look, I’m sorry about that, but it was nothin’. We were just blowing off some steam. And I’ve been busy the last couple of days, okay. I was going to surprise you but I guess it’s a good time to let you know I’m coming home for the weekend.” It had been eight long months since you’d seen him. “Look, I hate to cut this short, I know we haven’t gotten to talk much here lately, but I’ll be in tomorrow afternoon. The boys and I will get a lift to Hawkin’s from the airport. I’ll see you soon. Love you!”

“That’s… That’s great baby!” Click. “I love you too,” you whispered into the line as it went dead.

You didn’t want to admit what was happening, but the distance was finally getting to you. There seemed to be a rift between the two of you that seemed to grow larger each passing day. You weren’t sure what to expect when you’d see him. You’d hoped it was more your imagination, but there was this nagging feeling in the back of your mind that you couldn’t shake.

Not able to sleep from excitement and nerves, you stayed up all night with anticipation. You went on about your daily routine as best you could. You had thought about having a small get-together but instead opting to cook dinner for the both of you. Trying to make it cozy and romantic, lighting candles around the apartment. You did your hair and makeup, even opting to buy a new outfit for the occasion.

He said he would be there by 7, but as the hands of the clock slowly ticked closer to 9, you’d all but given up hope. He hadn’t called since before he was supposed to get on hi flight so you had no idea where he was or if he had even made it in.

Around 9:30, you heard a familiar jingling from the hall, as his key entered the lock. The breath left your body as the metalhead entered.

“Peach?” he called out, eyes adjusting the dim light within, sliding his bag from his shoulder and onto the floor. “Peach?” Calling out once more, as he rounded the corner spotting you by the window. Wine in hand, your face down turned.

“Hey Eds, I uh, made dinner. I thought you’d be in sooner.” He made his way over to you in a couple of strides. Barely giving you enough time to put the glass down without spilling it, his hands found you. Pulling you into a bone crushing embrace.

Your hands wound around his waist, meeting the warmth you missed so much, nuzzling your face to his chest and breathing him in. You noted a tinge of new cologne that smelled expensive. He peppered your hair with tender kisses then. Mumbling into your hair, “God, I missed you so much. And I’m sorry I’m late. I tried to call, but then got dragged away because they found us another flight.”

“It’s ok.” You had said that for what seemed a million times in the last few months. Was it ok? Were you ok? You pulled back enough to study his features. His cheeks flushed, tinted the lightest shade of pink. Eyes drifting to his lips. His tongue darting out slightly, wetting them. His warm, gentle gaze bringing you a comfort you hadn’t felt since being apart. He was your everything, your home.

“Peach I,” he sheepishly began, but you surged forward, effectively shutting off anymore words from escaping him.

The moment your lips met his, it was desperate and needy. Your hands find purchase on the front of his shirt. He moved his hand to the back of your head, tilting his own to deepen the kiss. His tongue grazing your bottom lip, begging for entry. Gently parting your lips, silently granting him permission. All at once, he’s everywhere. Hands roaming, feeling any of the exposed skin he could get to. You fervently wish in this moment you could crawl under his skin, desperate to be as close as possible.

You feel a familiar ache between your legs, the intensity of it has you reeling. He closes the space between your bodies; you feel the hardness of his own need pressing against your thigh straining against the denim. He finally releases your mouth, sucking your lower lip gently before releasing it. You’re both out of breath, panting. He leans his forehead onto yours, the small breaths being shared in the space between you the only sound.

“Eds, I need you,” you finally manage to speak.

“Peach, we… I…” he began again.

You brought your hands up to gently cup his face. “Whatever you’re about to say, don’t. It can wait until morning. I just want you to hold me tonight.” There was something unspoken behind his eyes with the way his gaze didn’t fully meet yours. He simply nodded.

You took his hand, interlacing your fingers, you led him down the hall to the bedroom. The air felt thick, making it hard to breathe.

He took you slowly like he was trying to memorize every inch, every mole, freckle, and scar. Kissing you from head to toe, the way his lips roved your body, mapping every inch. Savoring each sight and sound his touch coaxed from you.

His throbbing cock filling your aching cunt like no one else ever could. Each delicious inch splitting you open as he lazily fucked into you, relishing each moan and hum of pleasure as your walls began to flutter around him. You didn’t want it to end. Even this blissed out, the alarm bells were still ringing. You pushed them from the forefront of your mind, focusing instead the man pressed close to you.

You laid there in bed once you were both well and spent. No words were spoken in the time that passed while you began to level back out and the haze of the afterglow subsided.

He was sleeping peacefully now, with his arm around you. Your back pressed in close to his chest. Puffs of breath fanning across your cheek with every exhale. You gently brought his hand to your lips nuzzling his palm, kissing the tender skin there. “I love you,” speaking into the night, sighing, and giving yourself over to sleep.

Eddie had heard you then, and silently cursed himself for what he was about to do.

You opened your eyes slowly, with the now rising sun, scanning the room. You reached over, expecting to feel the warm body of your boyfriend. Instead, you were met with nothing but cold emptiness. You stretched, yawned, and sat up clutching the comforter close to your chest.

“Eddie?” you groaned. Waiting a few beats, only met with silence.

“Eddie?” you squeaked out a little louder this time, mouth now dry. Nothing but the sound of your own breathing, becoming a little more ragged as your heart started to race a bit more as the seconds ticked by with no response.

You swept the covers from you, grabbing your robe throwing it over your naked form as you made your way from the room.

The apartment was too quiet. No one stood in the kitchen or lingered by the window. His pack from the night before now missing from where he dropped it beside the door. No trace or evidence that he was ever there. You suddenly wondered if you’d just awaken from a dream that had conjured everything from the night before.

You saw it then.

A folded note. The same paper you kept by the fridge for grocery lists.

In Eddie’s messy scrawl, it simply stated “Peach”.

You stared at it for a few moments, unbelieving still. Hesitantly stepping forward, blinking back a few tears starting to swell, already fearing what it contained. You had felt a shift in him, you didn’t want to admit it even now with the evidence staring you in the face.

You slowly unfolded the paper, taking one deep breath and exhaling.

I’m sorry.

Pain shot through you as your bare knees hit the hard, cold floor. Even with all the warning signs nothing could have fully prepared you for the reality before you. Gone like a thief in the night, leaving you alone with your shattered heart with no explanation.

If only he had noticed the pamphlets around the apartment for various colleges in and around LA. You had every intent of completing the rest of the semester and transferring in the fall just to be closer to him. He was worth leaving the only home you’d ever known. Now feeling stupid for thinking he felt the same.

You curled into yourself; the noises ripped from your body barely sounded human. Shuddering cries left you breathless as the sobs wracked your body. You stayed like that on the bare floor for what felt like hours.

In the days that followed, you tried reaching out to him numerous times, only to be met with his voice on the machine each time.

“Hey, it’s Eddie, you know what to do.” Each message you left more desperate than the last.

“Hey, it’s Eddie, you know what to do.” Those words now seared into your brain, insulting each attempt you made.

“Hey, it’s Eddie, you know what to do.” One last call, a week after he had left.

“I hate you!” Blurting it out but meaning it with every fiber of your being.

Weeks gave into months, into the years that now separated you from Eddie. You never gave anyone the chance to get close enough to break your heart again. Closing yourself off to the prospect of ever loving someone the way you had once loved him.

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