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#I am so honored people care about this blog and I strive to make that attention worthwhile
impeccablebackside · 24 days
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Have any thoughts about the Queens riding their toms?
Sorry for the bit of a wait with answering this anon. I just have not had time to focus much on this blog recently, but I fully welcome and absolutely love any new asks, ideas, and such when they do come. I greatly appreciate anyone and everyone who chooses to follow or interact with this blog, so thanks for that.
I know I have also been threatening a new fic for a bit too, and I am indeed overdue for giving you one given the last one was back in December. I do promise there is one coming as soon as possible. I have started writing it and have it more or less planned out, but it has unfortunately been sitting neglected in my drafts for over a month at this point. It will be good either way, that I can guarantee, so please hold tight.
Anyway, in terms of thoughts about the queens 'traditionally' riding their toms, I would suggest you read this past ask over. That should be the most comprehensive post that collects those wonderful thoughts in one spot. Given it was a couple of years ago, there are certainly new thoughts that have been spread throughout this blog in the time since, so if you have a hunger / thirst for a specific character or idea either take some time and read through my posts or simply ask and I will try to round the newer thoughts up. If you want new thoughts to further the fun, please let me know as well. That works for me.
If you are more inclined for face riding (which is simply perfection), there was a past ask about that as well further explored in another more recent ask.
As always, I welcome your thoughts anon(s). I am sure there are some good ideas out there that I have not considered, and reading new perspectives is always wonderful.
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phantovia · 23 days
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who are a few mutuals that you appreciate alot? mutual appreciation day 🥰❤️😊🤩💐✨
꒰ FOR MUTUAL APPRECIATION DAY! ꒱ :
yippee!! literally beamed when i received this ask, lovely excuse to gush about my moots — my incredibly talented, kind, caring, and supportive friends who have been here and to those who i recent met. thank you! (if you weren’t included, i still love you immensely & will eventually get around to add you <3 currently 3 in the morning so AHAHA)
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to the stellaronhvnters staff:
@rainswept : crow! god, i don’t have any words to explain how dear you are to me - from the moment we first became moots to the start of our friendship when you comforted me after a horrible turn of events, nothing in my vocabulary can explain how utterly grateful i am for you. we clicked quicker than i’ve ever clicked with anyone especially considering the circumstances behind it too, and im so grateful for that !! not only are you incredibly easy to talk to, you’re a wonderful writer. your descriptions are vivid, immersive, engaging - and your dialogue has been improving significantly <3 i’m so proud of you and honored to call you a good friend of mine, working on stellaronhvnters with you and meisha has been so fun and i hope there’s many more years to come. you’re amazing, so so funny and absolutely one of the coolest people i’ve ever met <3
@meidnightrain : you’ve archived your blog, for good reasons too. i hope you’re doing okay, that you’re taking the time for yourself that you strive to obtain - that you’re taking it easy on yourself. despite you no longer being apart of the admin team, your presence always lingers there & everyone in the network absolutely adores you !! as they should, meeting you in teyval was one of the best things to ever happen to me - along with us friending each other and getting close as time went on. you’re one of my biggest inspirations, and your writing was always so heart aching to read because i could feel the motion in your words and the way you chose to form your sentences. you are so loved, and you deserve every last drop of it. coming together to form the network using what knowledge we did have before involving crow was so so fun, our little brainstorming sessions will always live in my heart, hehe !! 💗
to the stellaronhvnters members:
@mitsvriii : bell!! i’m going to ignore the fact that the other members have to see me as a dottore kisser for a week bc of u 🫵 but you’re such a sweetheart, even before you joined the network you were already someone i loved seeing on my dash!! your energy never fails to make me smile & the conversations you have w the others never fail to make me double over in laughter either 😭💗 you. yes you. are so so talented and i hope you know that !!
@flower-yi : yee hawyee 🥹🤍 ur never getting rid of that nickname like ever 🫵 !! but in all honesty, you’re the light that the network absolutely cannot live without. i’m sure the others can agree that the humor, the playful affection, the never ending jokes & battles between you and crow - make the server and network as a whole such a familiar place. you are so loving & the energy you radiate is something i sincerely hope you never lose. it’s a huge part of you that a lot of people absolutely adore, including myself. love u so so much hanyi <33
@tragedy-of-commons : gwen stacy. (/j) you!! are a ray of sunshine and a cute lil ball of energy that always completes my day <3 you are also so effortlessly funny, it’s so comforting to have someone like you in the network and as a mutual ☹️🫵 ur writing is so squishy, i wanna nom nom on it for how cute they are (even the angst.)
@harque : SETH. YES ALL CAPS 😭😭 you’re an absolute riot & we adore you for it. once again, our members have a shared trait : being so hilarious that i almost spit out my drinks and choke on my food. (flashbacks to the stellaronhvnters fanfic) next chapter when?? the way you interact w everyone else makes it seem like you’ve known them for a long time, like a bond always existed but hasn’t been explored - at least that’s how i felt when we first talked 🫵 i eat your works up like a 5 course meal, all of them!! ur doing so so well & ily thank u for being yourself 🥹💗
@iceunhie : miss mhie!! known u before u joined the network & it’s been filled w nothing but tons of fun and absolute joy <3 you are such a wonderful person, friend, writer, it truly amazes me - the way you carry yourself 💓 we aren’t the closest, but your never ending love and support to not just me but everyone else you’re friends with reminds me time and time again how lucky i am to be moots w you !!
@snobwaffles : snob !! i’ve known you for quite a while now oh my god 😭 it really does feel like ages, you’re quite literally everywhere ms worldwide and i adore that sm !! seeing u in my dash is an instant mood boost, seeing u in our mutual servers is a sign of a good day, talking to u makes me feel so relieved & it’s so easy to do so <33
@akutasoda : q !! must be investigated under a microscope, live laugh love illufornia & americrow. you’re equally chaotic as the others despite it being so unexpected that it’s actually so fun 😭🫵 & ur so so sweet too :(( im putting u in my pocket u cannot escape ily /p
@milksnake-tea : illu when i catch u illu. i still have the guess where crow lives convo stuck in my head. i have no idea how many states u guessed during that but i laughed so hard 😭😭 and honorary pissapocalypse survivor - you deserve a badge just for that fr HELP ur carefree energy can change quite literally anyone’s mood from a negative to a positive tell me im wrong.
@scribs-dibs : sunni ur funny yet very abstract questions make me want to hide in a bird cage ily /p great example here: “how much dirt is caked up beneath his toenails real talk” (we should go back to that question lowk.. dr ratio’s feet gotta be investigated on a molecular level ong?? AHAHAHA 😭 but aside from that, your writing is absolute chef’s kiss & your personality makes u so easy to talk to it’s literally effortless !!
to the astronetwrk staff members:
@heiayen @opalthea @naraven @versadies @.xianyoon @dawndelion-winery @kazumist @chaoffee
not moots w a few of you, but i thought i’d give you all a tag nonetheless <3 i want to thank you, one for accepting me as part of the mod team in the first place and for allowing me to be in such a warm and supportive group !! at first, i didn’t feel like i fit in, sometimes i still struggle to believe that im surrounded by such talented individuals until i eventually grew into it. i don’t think i’d be the same without you all, even if i don’t interact with a few of you a lot outside of astro (which im hoping to change at some point) - you still mean a lot to me 🫵 looking forward to more silly interactions & con cen and can AHAHAHA 😭
special mentions:
@mwahkazu : yuomi !! one of the biggest sweethearts on this platform, and my dear kazuha kisser <3 being 🪄 anon for the short period of time that i was helped me get over my jitters bc you are so so cool !! being mutuals w you has been such a gentle ride and you never fail to make me smile w your rambles 🤍 #1 yuzuha supporter 4ever, #1 stealing the spotlight fan too bc your smau is already looking so well-developed and i’m so immensely proud of you :)
@ughscara : ayame !! i’ve also known u for quite some time, it’s been a while - hasn’t it? i’m so grateful that we managed to reconnect after months of not talking, and seeing you in my dash is such a pleasure. your encouragement & support means the world to me, especially your comforting words recently when i was in a pretty bad situation. you’re a sweetheart, and please know that i adore and love you so so much /p but i’m sure kuni shares the sentiment, he loves you !! (real he told me himself)
@ceneid : elise !! thank you, one for hearing me out whenever i need you despite how we haven’t been talking as much lately, and two for being a good friend to me. you’re so kind, talking to you feels like a relief & you give amazing advice, i hope you’re doing well lovely !!
@xianyoon : ying (took ur pretty format for this one i hope u don’t mind HELP) !! i saw ur post and god :(( i teared up so quick, thank you so much. from the bottom of my heart, you are another one of my inspirations - your mindset and way of doing things caused me to look at life as a whole in newer ways - ways that i didn’t think i’d get to see before. i’ve known you for a long while now, and our interactions always leave me with wanting another conversation because of how lovely it feels getting to talk to you is. you own up to your mistakes, you spread positivity and never ending kindness to others - and that’s something i strive to do too. thank you again, for being here and for being the beautiful person you are.
@seelestia : one of the first people i’ve had the pleasure of being mutuals with, i don’t know how long it’s been but i will forever be thankful and proud of the person you’re becoming - the person you were before, and the person you are now. writing hasn’t always been my strong suit, and out of everyone, i look up to you the most. to me, you’re more than a close friend of mine, you’re my role model and an inspiration to a good amount of people. your writing feels like a hand being dipped in sunlight seas, creating shapes and strokes with your index finger as you stare into the distance. you are so talented, and i will never forget how much you mean to me <3 thank you for being here! i love youuu /p
@ryuryuryuyurboat : yukari !! we don’t talk often but you’re someone i love seeing around, whether it’s in other people’s posts or finding out the latest things you’ve been involved in - all of it makes me feel so proud of you <33 i hope you’re doing well rn, take care, okay? 🥹💘
@realkavehgf : had to include u bc ur so cute & squishable <3 this is another reminder that im here for you, whatever it is you’re going through - im here. if it’s only for an idle conversation or if you need to let out your feelings, i hope that i can provide you with a safe enough space to do so. i care about you deeply and being friends with you is always something im going to look back on and thank the stars for :)
@haismie : kassie!! hi there, how have you been faring lately? we don’t talk nearly as much anymore, but you always have a special place in my heart - you’re another one of the people i’ve been friends with for quite a while, and it’s been the best feeling in the world getting to know someone like you. i adore you sm and i hope we can chat again soon!!
@scribetry : andrew 🫵 one of the coolest ppl i’ve have the joy & honor of meeting !! we became moots not too long ago but it’s been such a pleasure though we don’t interact much (hoping to change that bc ur such a lovely person!!) i’m glad to see you’ve been making lots of friends too !! ur latest dainsleif work had me going thru like 5 emotions at once, it was a fun read 🦅🦅
@catcze : catte!! (literally had to change the settings bc ur name kept getting autocorrected to carter??) but oh my god you!! are so!! so fun to talk to + interact with. i love stopping by your inbox & dw abt any late replies bc i completely understand <3 being mutuals w you is such an honor, i was a huge fan of yours before i finally reached out - still am btw!! #1 catte supporter hehe 💘
@k4zushi : uni :( shoutout to u for being the first smau creator i’ve become mutuals with, i know life hasn’t been kind to you at all lately - and wherever you are and whatever it may be that you’re doing, im so proud of you for continuing on. it takes so much time and patience to be dealing with this much and continue to strive forward, i adore u immensely & i await the next time we can have a convo via ur inbox <33
@ilyuu : yui !! our latest convos have been so fun & i love looking back at them, i appreciate you so much. your trust in me & how supportive you are always warms my heart - i can’t thank you enough for being here even after all this time, super excited to talk to you more & grow closer !!
@callilouv : dottore liker. ik what u are 🫵 but CAL i’ve absolutely missed u & our talks so much ?? i had to tag u ur so wonderful & talented and and and and … 💔 your art is such a beautiful sight, any time i see something created by you in my dash, i instantly brighten up bc of how utterly stunning they are !! we don’t interact much, but please know that i’ve shown ur art to one of my irls & it inspired them to start drawing after a long while of hesitation. you’re such an inspiration to me and lots of others & i will 4ever be grateful to have u as a mutual 🤝
hello to my recent mutuals:
@sxmmer-cherry @his-grapejuice @astrxealis @alexisomnias (minus apollo who has been around for a while <3 still wanted to mention you as a way of saying hello again!)
thank you all for becoming my moots, i’m certain that you’re all wonderful and skillful people & i can’t wait to interact a lot more with you all soon!
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italoniponic · 2 years
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hi!! i really wanted to congratulate you on 100 followers!! have some flowers as my gift to you, you are amazing for your writings and stories that you make on this blog🌻🌼🌼🌺. supporting and cheering you on!!
and if it won't be too much trouble, may i have fluff hcs about deuce spade with a shy, but kind gn! s/o? like how do they get together and how does their relationship function? hopefully this makes sense to you, feel free tho to skip if you want. stay safe!! and please take care as well!
𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲'𝐬 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 - 𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭
| Notes: Hi, anon!
Thanks, thank you so much for the flowers, your compliments and your support. You’re so cute <3 I did my best with these hcs, I hope they’re good enough. I love Deuce, he’s such a sweetie and so wholesome in all aspects~
Thanks for the request! | 
Deuce Spade x g!n shy and kind reader / fluff at extreme doses / crush to lovers / use of “you” pronouns
Cherry's Harvesting event 🍒 Masterlist
Such a Shy First Love
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For you, it was quite natural to fall in love with someone like Deuce. He was kind, hardworking, full of energy and determination. Despite his background, he was working to improve himself and become an honorable student. He was your best friend, always by your side. But for a long time, Deuce had no idea of your feelings for him;
Being shy didn't help the situation much. When you tried to talk to Deuce about it, something hindered you and scared you enough to delegate this task for another day. You thought that somehow maybe it was the universe trying to stop you but, at the same time, you loved Deuce so much that you would challenge the entire idea of destiny for him;
But in the end, it was a matter of time for Ace to call the shots. “Are you moron-sexual? It’s the only way for you to like Deuce, you know,” he had asked, apparently joking. Both Deuce and you were lost in a spiral of blush and conflicted feelings, not knowing what to do. Red just like roses. Deuce didn’t believe that his friend had compromised his crush so bluntly;
“I… I am!,” you responded in a nervous impulse, almost screaming, which was not typical of you. The lunch table was silent and some people around looked at you, trying to understand what the problem was. Ace and Deuce were the ones who looked at you most shocked. The first because the plan really worked out despite his low expectations and the second... well, apparently his feelings were reciprocated afterall;
It hadn't been long since Deuce was diagnosed as in love by his friends. Epel was the first to reach that conclusion, actually. Because of the amount of attention Deuce gave you, the affection and support he always gave and sometimes, the way he suddenly got nervous when he wanted to say that you were “best friends”, there was no way to be anything else. That workout session with Epel and Jack made Deuce have an epiphany about his own feelings;
Now revealed, it only remained to move on. That is: you two start dating. It was a strange start, unlike anything you tried to prepare but,you had all the patience in the world with Deuce and his time to get things done, just as he had with you. It may have seemed slow to others but everything was walking in a pleasant step;
In normal situations, Deuce could turn around and act normally while you stood by him, shy but kind — and happy to know that he loved you as much as you did. But when your hands were leaning against each other or he said something relatively romantic without thinking, you both end up in a blushing mess of stutters;
Oddly enough, even in such moments you could communicate in some way. You could just throw loose words at each other, nervous hand and head gestures, nervous laughter and embarrassed smiles, but you could understand each other. This made Ace particularly stunned. And annoyed. He still hasn’t decided yet;
Despite everything, things have not changed too drastically. You still showed up at the Track and Field club practice, happy to sit on the bench and quietly cheer for Deuce to strive for the goal of improving in the sport. Sometimes Deuce would stumble when he looked to the side and recognized your presence. But after a while, seeing you — always there for him, from the beginning of your friendship until now — motivated him to run faster, always towards the prospect of a happy future;
On vacation, Deuce accompanies you to his hometown to introduce you to Mrs. Spade — who has heard so much about you and unfortunately, to her son’s embarrassment, would keep repeating it as many times as necessary. Deuce held your hand the whole time he showed you the city, assuring you that he was there and you didn't have to be nervous. When you walked past a place terribly familiar to former delinquent Spade, it was you who did assure him. What was good, you reminded Deuce that that was a turning page in his life;
Study sessions — or dates — are usually quiet, but a comfortable type of silence. You always help Deuce with the doubts he has and when you come across something very different from your own world, he explains it to you. In common doubts, you go after the answer together and support and encourage each other to improve. Especially when you train in public speaking with Deuce, reading a part of the subject to him, Grim and the ghostly walls of the Ramshackle. Although, you notice sometimes, Deuce looks at you with such bright eyes that you aren’t sure if he is paying more attention to you or what you are reading.
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Text
Dancing in the Dark [G.W]
Description: You and George work to make Fred and Angelina’s wedding absolutely perfect, while planning your future together in the process
Pairing: George Weasley x fem!reader 
Word Count: 3.8k
A/N: I wanted to take a quick minute to thank @theweasleysredhair for giving me some advice on starting up this blog! I’m really excited to share some more of my works and I hope you all enjoy them. Please go check out her writing!
                                                           X
“George let’s go! We’re going to be late!” You looked at the clock and waited precisely five seconds before barging into the room.
“What could possibly be taking you so long?” You asked him. You found George in the bedroom with an open suitcase and his wand, packing all his belongings at the last minute. “You told me you packed last night,” you said sternly.
“Well I did. But then I felt I needed to add to my luggage a bit. Just in case.”
“You’re even more high maintenance than I am,” you joked.
“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” he smiled at you. He finally finished up his packing and he walked over to you, embracing you in a tight hug.
“You may have mentioned it a few times. Lucky for you I never get tired of hearing it.” You gave him a peck on the lips and then went to gather your belongings.
“Now we really need to go. We’re already late and something tells me we’re one step away from getting kicked out of the wedding party.”
“Whatever you say, my lady.” He grabbed your hand and you apparated to the Burrow. It wasn’t the ideal time for a wedding, but it was something everyone needed. Fred and Angelina were set on getting married and they were so in love that they didn’t want to wait.
You had grown particularly close to Angelina over the past few months considering you were living together. You ended up moving in with George after finishing at Hogwarts and Ang was living in the apartment, staying in Fred’s room. It was a small space for four people, but you made it work and had fun being cramped. After the wedding, Angelina and Fred were planning to move out and get their own place (somewhere spacious to raise all the children they planned on having). You were sad seeing them leave, but you and George were excited to finally have the place to yourselves. 
You arrived in the kitchen of the Burrow right as breakfast was being served.
“Y/N! Darling!” Mrs. Weasley said, shuffling over to give you a big hug.
“Yeah, don’t mind me. It’s not like I’m your son or anything,” George remarked.
“Oh hush you,” she said, swatting him with a tea towel before hugging him.  
Everyone at the table got up to greet you. Everyone was staying at the Burrow for the weekend, since the wedding was to take place there. You were impressed when Fleur actually remembered your name after meeting you for what seemed like the hundredth time. Mrs. Weasley pulled up two seats at the table and you sat and ate while she sent your bags upstairs. Everyone seemed pleasant and conversation flowed easily, but you could still feel a little bit of tension in the room. For one, Harry barely said a word. Harry was usually quiet, but this was something else. George had mentioned that the three of them weren’t returning to Hogwarts for their 7th year and you couldn’t say you blamed them. Snape had been instated as Headmaster and everything about that seemed awful.  Soon everyone finished eating and you went out back for a friendly game of quidditch.
                                                             X
The day had gone by pretty quickly (the Burrow always had stuff going on, which made time move fast) and soon enough it was dark out. Technically, the night before the wedding day was reserved for some sort of bachelor/bachelorette festivities, but nothing wild was planned. All the girls were staying in Ginny’s room for the night, aside from Fleur who was staying with Bill, and you all decided to drink and have a girls’ night.
You supplied firewhiskey and Fleur had contributed a few bottles of “ze finest wine in France.” You were not planning on getting that drunk, considering tomorrow was a big day for Angelina, and as Maid of Honor, you had to make sure everything went according to plan. Ginny and Hermione let the alcohol get the best of them and went to bed relatively early. Fleur left to be with Bill, which left you and Ang. She told you about how excited she was to get married and how she knew she was making the right decision and everything. You couldn’t have been any happier for her and once your talk ended, you suggested going to bed to get some sleep before the big day tomorrow.
By the sounds of her light snoring, Angelina fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow and that left you alone with your thoughts. You were truly thrilled for her and Fred. But it was hard not to compare their relationship to yours. You and George started dating before they did; yet they were the ones getting married. You didn’t doubt your relationship with George for a minute, but it did make you think. You had never really discussed the future in detail. After lying awake for what seemed like hours, you decided to go down to the kitchen for a glass of water and maybe a snack.
You slipped down the stairs as quietly as you could, careful not to wake anyone. You heard some shuffling coming from the kitchen, but you assumed it was the ghoul in the attic rattling the pipes or something. You were surprised to find a ginger figure walking around the kitchen looking for food. You thought about sneaking up on him, but the minute you reached the bottom step he turned around.
“Hey darling,” he said, kissing you on the forehead. “What are you doing down here so late?”
“Couldn’t sleep.”
“Stressed about tomorrow, eh?” he asked.
“No, it’s not that I don’t think. I just have a lot on my mind.” 
You took a seat at the kitchen table and he brought over a plate of biscuits and a tall glass of milk to share, which was exactly what you needed.
“What are you thinking about love?” he half-smiled.
“Just overanalyzing things as usual,” you sighed, taking a bite out of a biscuit.
“Meaning?”
“You’re happy with the way things are going between us, right?”
He looked at you a little concerned. “Well yeah, I couldn’t be happier. Are you happy?”
“Yes, of course I’m happy. It’s just all this wedding stuff is making me think about the future and we haven’t really ever discussed that and I’m just worried we aren’t on the same page.”
“Tell me what you want,” he replied, “for the future.”
“I…I mean I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it in detail…” you trailed.
“Just tell me what you want, anything and everything that you want, and I’ll make it happen,” he said softly. He gently picked up your hands and looked deeply into your eyes. You weren’t sure you had ever seen him this serious. 
“All I want is to be with you,” you said, matching his eye contact. He took your hands and pulled you to his side of the table, where you found a seat on his lap. “I think that can be arranged,” he purred while pulling you towards him even further, into a deep and passionate kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck and brought him closer to you. He countered your move by squeezing you even tighter and making you feel even more loved. You parted shortly and you rested your head on his shoulder.
“Just so you know, you essentially just turned over all the wedding decisions to me,” he smirked.
“Oh did I?”
“You did. That was your opportunity to demand your perfect wedding and you failed to do so. Therefore, I get to plan the wedding. I’m thinking…an outdoor winter wedding, right in front of the Whomping Willow.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. And I will make sure it snows, since I know how much you love snow.” It was obvious he was messing with you, since he knew you didn’t enjoy the cold and the snow, as well as the deranged willow tree. Instead of getting all pouty like he expected you to react, you decided to surprise him.
“As long as I get to marry you, then I don’t care.” Your words had indeed surprised him. His grin spread from ear to ear and you couldn’t help but kiss him.
“Don’t worry love, I’ll make sure our wedding is perfect.”
“Okay, I’ll hold you to that. Might be hard to top Fred and Ang though.”
“I think we can do it. You know, I was planning to propose to you a few months ago, about the same time when Fred and Angelina got engaged. But I didn’t want to steal his thunder and I didn’t want you to think I proposed just because Fred did.” His statement made you giddy. It all just became so much more real. The fact that he had actually almost planned a proposal was reassuring and you knew you’d get your happy ending.
“Really?” you smiled, excitedly.
“Yes really.”
“Weren’t striving for the double wedding?”
“Definitely not. I want our wedding to be ours. I don’t want to share that day with anyone.”
“You really are saying all the right things. What are you trying to get at here? I can’t reward you in the way you want to be rewarded. Not here and now.”
“But you will keep this in mind when we return to the apartment, right?”
You chuckled, “Maybe. If you behave.”
“Now when do I ever behave?” he grinned. You ruffled his hair and kissed him on the cheek.
By this point the biscuits and milk were gone. You waved your wand and sent the dirty dishes over to the sink, where you magically cleaned them.
“Ready for bed? Got all your thinking out of the way?”
“I think so. It is pretty late and tomorrow’s going to be a long day.” 
He put his arm around you and you walked up the stairs. Ginny’s room was the first bedroom on the way up, but once you reached the door, George walked right past it.  
“Um, I think this is my stop,” you said, as he continued walking.
“No it isn’t,” he insisted. George grabbed your hand and started pulling you up the stairs. “You’re staying with me.”
“Don’t do this to me. What if we get caught? Your parents will hate me.”
“One: my parents could never hate you. They love you more than they love me. And two: when do I ever get caught?” The latter of the two points was definitely true. It wasn’t a hard decision to make and you gave in moments later.
You scurried up the stairs, as quietly as possible. The door opened with a slight creak, but Fred was out cold and did not wake.
The two of you tip-toed over to George’s bed and he got in, sliding over toward the wall to give you ample room. George’s bed was a twin, which was smaller than you were used to, but you can’t say that you minded. It just meant you could snuggle closer with him. He put his arm around you and you rested your head on his chest. He kissed you on the forehead and whispered, “You’re perfect. Don’t ever change.”
“I won’t if you won’t,” you responded. 
“I love you Y/N.”
“I love you too, Georgie.” It wasn’t long before you drifted off to sleep.
                                                          X
You woke up the next morning with George snoring softly beside you. The sun was just starting to rise, so it must’ve been early. Fred was still asleep so this was the perfect time to stage your escape. You nudged George gently and he opened his eyes and smiled at you. “Well isn’t this a beautiful sight to wake up to,” he said, voice stale from sleep. “Stop trying to charm me. You’re making it harder to leave.”
“Don’t leave me,” he pouted.
“It’ll just be for a couple of hours. I don’t want to get in trouble, or get you in trouble. Come down and grab me on your way to breakfast.”
“Yes darling.” You kissed him on the cheek and ran your fingers through his hair. He held your hand in his, in what you assumed was an attempt to get you to stay, and he looked at you lovingly. You swiftly hopped out of bed and blew him a kiss before leaving the room. The staircase seemed clear and you snuck back to Ginny’s room without being caught. Hermione and Ginny were still passed out, so you decided to brew a bit of a hangover cure for the two of them to make the morning a bit more pleasant. You crawled into bed and planned to sleep for another hour or two when you heard your name. It was Angelina. She clearly had been tossing and turning all night and you couldn’t blame her.
“Were you with George last night?” she whispered.
You tried to hide your smile and shrugged, “It’s possible. Now hush and get some more sleep. Today’s a big day for you. You need to preserve your energy.” She shook her head and curled up into a ball under the covers. You closed your eyes for a moment and suddenly you were dozing off.
                                                           X
You awoke to a figure sitting on your bed and stroking your spine with a gentle touch that almost tickled. You opened your eyes and found George waiting for you. Everyone else was gone and you suspected they had gone downstairs to grab a bite to eat. George helped you out of bed and you stretched before joining the rest of the family downstairs. Everyone was present except for Harry, Ron and Fred. Harry and Ron were still sleeping and Fred was banned from seeing Angelina, so he had to wait until she was finished eating to come downstairs. You found a seat next to George at the end of the table where you could observe everyone. Ginny and Hermione looked awful and were clearly playing it off as being tired. You saw right through it though and figured you’d be a good friend and help them out. You bumped Hermione’s knee and she turned to you with a pained expression. You found her hand under the table and placed the small vial in it. She looked at you with confusion and you simply winked at her. She trusted you enough to know you had her best interest at heart. When no one was looking, she dumped the contents of the vial into the cups of pumpkin juice in front of her and Ginny. A few sips later and it was like they were good as new. 
Breakfast came and went and then the stress began. George joined the boys in the backyard. They were responsible for setting up the tent and all the tables, as well as de-gnoming the garden. Meanwhile, the girls gathered upstairs to pamper Angelina. The bridesmaids’ dresses were lovely, and something you would probably wear again. The dresses were teal, a color everyone looked good in, with a strapless sequined bodice and wrap skirt. The dress fell right above the knee and managed to lengthen your legs. While all the bridesmaids were making themselves look great, Ang was changing into her gown. She emerged and all of you gawked over her beauty. The strapless, silk chiffon gown could not have been more perfect. The simplicity was breathtaking and was perfect for Angelina. The A-line silhouette gave the illusion that she was floating as she walked and the detailed, shimmery belt gave just the right amount of sparkle. You had never seen a more beautiful bride. 
                                                            X
The backyard was all set up and the guests were seated. Angelina was positively freaking out and it was your job to keep her calm and smiling. You were the first to descend down the aisle so you had to pass off your responsibilities to Hermione for the time being. 
George nudged you with his elbow and held his arm out, waiting for you to latch onto his bicep. “Ready love?” he asked. “Let’s get this show started,” you smiled.
The music started and you took that as your cue to begin walking. The guests all stood up and you gracefully walked down the candlelit path together.
“Don’t tell anyone I said this, but I think you’re the most beautiful woman here today,” he whispered in your ear.
You couldn’t hold in your grin and replied, “You know that’s why I keep you around, the endless amount of compliments.”
“Ah ha ha. Very funny. I know the truth is that you can’t resist me.”
“You just keep thinking that,” you said as you departed. George found his rightful place next to Fred and you stood and watched the rest of the wedding party walk down the aisle. Angelina was escorted by Mr. Weasley, seeing as her parents couldn’t attend the wedding. She was glowing. The sunlight was hitting her in the perfect spot and she had this twinkle in her eye that completely brightened her face. You looked toward Fred and he was visibly in love. The only time you’d ever seen that look before was when George looked at you that way. As she reached the altar, you held her bouquet as she grabbed Fred’s hands. She took a deep breath and focused on holding back her happy tears. You caught George’s eyes and noticed while everyone else was watching the happy couple, his eyes were focused on you. 
                                                            X
The ceremony was beautiful. No maid of honor emergencies came up but you still spent your time making every little detail perfect. The reception was even better. Everyone took the opportunity to have a good time and escape from the cruelties that were currently going on in the wizarding realm. 
You and George kept the champagne flowing in everyone’s glasses, as well as your own. Fred and Ang spent most of their time on the dance floor when they weren’t mingling with all the guests. They both looked so happy and you couldn’t help but smile whenever you saw them.
“Y/N! I know I haven’t seen you all day, but I just wanted to thank you for all your hard work. The day has literally gone flawlessly and I owe it all to you,” Ang came over and hugged you.
“Oh honey, I just wanted everything to be perfect for your special day!”
“It is, it really is. Now stop worrying about everything and go have fun with George!”
“You sure? I mean, what if…”
“Y/N, stop. Go dance.” She didn’t have to tell you twice. You gave her another hug and scurried off to find George.
He was over by the bar, talking with Lee and Ron, drinking what you assumed was firewhiskey. You snuck up behind him and ran your hands up and down his back. He turned around and put his arm around you.
“Sorry to interrupt boys. Mind if I steal him for a bit?” you asked. They both nodded  and you grabbed his hands and led him to the dance floor. 
“Where have you been all night?”
“I’m sorry baby. I just wanted to make sure everything was perfect for Ang and Freddie.”
“Well you did a fantastic job. But I think it’s time to hang out with your awesome boyfriend now.”
“You’re right. Now I just need to find him…” you said, looking around the crowd of people.
“Oh you’re funny. No wonder I like you so much,” he said wrapping his arms around your waist. You just smiled at him and he kissed your nose. You always tried not to show too much PDA, especially around family, but this was a special occasion. Everyone was so loved up that you didn’t feel weird being cutesy with George. 
He took your hand and you started dancing to whatever upbeat song was playing. You forgot how fun dancing was and it seemed like you had been out there for hours. Soon, the tempo started slowing down and George swiped you up and placed you in a waltzing position. His right hand was resting comfortably around your waist while his left was intertwined with yours. Your right arm was lightly draped on his shoulder and it almost looked like you knew what you were doing. Normally, the height difference would make this difficult, but the heels gave you a few inches and brought your faces closer.
“You know, we should just get married. Like tomorrow,” you said, as you swayed to the music.
“Tomorrow?”
“What, is that not enough notice for you? Still deciding if you want to spend the rest of your life with me.”
“Oh no. It’s not that at all. It’s just that I know you and that’s not what you really want.”
“I just want to marry you.” He smiled as you said this and kissed you passionately on the lips.  
“But if we got married tomorrow, you wouldn’t get to plan out every little detail of the wedding. And you wouldn’t get to wear your dream dress. And we wouldn’t be able to spend it with all of our friends and family. Besides, I still need to plan out an extravagant proposal.”
“I mean I guess you’re right. You always seem to know what’s best.”
“That’s just you wearing off on me.”
“I know I’ve probably said this a million times, but I don’t know what I would do without you.”
He kissed you on the forehead and squeezed you tight. The song ended and you stopped swaying and just stood together. Your head was resting on his shoulder and you let out a yawn.
“Someone’s sleepy,” he said, running his fingers through your hair.
“I am pretty exhausted. It’s been a long day.”
“We can probably turn in. There’s still a ton of people here, no one would even notice if we left.”
“Yeah, it doesn’t seem like this party is dying down anytime soon. I don’t know how much longer I can stay awake,” you replied.
“Come on then,” he grabbed your hand and led you back into the house. The Burrow was quiet, aside from the dull sound of the party outside, which was strange since most of the time there were people running about, fussing over this and that. 
You walked up the stairs and found his room. Fred had packed up his stuff, since they were leaving for their honeymoon right away. That meant the room would be all yours tonight. Even though you technically weren’t supposed to sleep in the same bed as George, you knew that tonight no one would notice or even care. As soon as he shut the door, your lips were on his. You didn’t think he was expecting you to be so forward, but he definitely didn’t mind. You pulled off his suit jacket and started to loosen his tie. He picked you up and carried you to his bed as you started unbuttoning his waistcoat.
“You know, I’ve always wanted to do it in my childhood bed.”
“Oh yeah? Well I guess it’s time to cross that off the list,” you winked at him.
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quantumconfidence · 3 years
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The Stigma Of The Trophy Wife & Why I'm Proud To Be One
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Trophy wives and the never ending stigma... So much to say and so much to address. In this blog post as you read it in the title is all about why being a trophy wife (TW) is what I was meant to be. And most probably who you're meant to embrace too.
Keep reading Sister.
First of let me start with this mini clip...
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This is all self explanatory to me and many other women who believe in hypergamy. The natural selection and order of things for women who desire to be married to a masculine man.
There's SO many negative cliche about being a trophy wife. The main one being a pretty air-head married to a rich old guy waiting to die so she can inherit all his assets and money.
And then you hear everyone around you saying things like: "why do you want to depend on a man? beauty doesn't last forever and some day he will replace you with someone hotter and younger"
But to me this is coming from such a small minded and scarcity point of view. These idea are filled with lack of everything.
There's SO, so, so much more than this about thinking of yourself as a TW!
Let's address a few of these points though because that is very important.
The "pretty air-head" Idea:
Who said that beautiful women were air-heads?
Just like everyone in this world, God has created each one of us, and you, with a special gift that NOBODY will ever provide like you do it. And that's a FACT.
I personally have worked for the largest and most successful companies in the world during my corporate career. As a people manager in technical supports, and I was VERY successful. These are definitely NOT the type of jobs or accomplishments an air-head would ever reach.
(If you're reading my blogs for the first time, Hello, My name is Mrs Queen and I'm the proud owner of this eCommerce business.)
And so, since when do we have to chose? I mean, hello scarcity mindset!
How being attractive, and maintaining your physical appearance ever kept you from being knowledgable and intelligent?
The "You'll always have to look pretty for him to stick around" Idea:
I cannot explain how this idea to me is SO basic, and SUCH a poor mindset!
Whom ever said that, clearly DOEN'T understand what makes a man marry you, when he truly believe that you're the woman of his dream. Or what makes a man stay with you for the rest of his life. So I'm going to spell it out loud, and preach. I hope you're ready?
First of all, a man stay kept if HE wants to stay kept. That has nothing to do with you but let's not ignore the following because these are contributing factors.
As a woman you're a WHOLE soul and PACKAGE by yourself. You do NOT ever or ever had to be with anybody to complete you. EVER. let me say it again, never, EVER.
And men DO understand that. They're looking and craving for that ENTIRE package. They want to experience it they want to live in it, forever and ever. This is literally their number one reason of living and striving in this world.
Yes, their MAIN reason to be alive. I'm not exaggerating.
What package am-i talking about?
Ok let's start with the obvious one:
1/ Your beauty. 
yes your face and body. And all appearances are appreciated in this world.
If you're thinking "high maintenance" and or "too exhausting" let me tell you the following very simply.
The way you care and take pride in your appearance has NOTHING to do with a man.
Never. EVER.
It has however EVERYTHING to do with how YOU, my sister, honor and love yourself. It's your way of respecting and glorify God's creation of you.
And if a man (your husband) gets to enjoy the perks too, that's his luck.
So don't allow laziness, or misconceptions to twist your mind. Taking care of yourself, and maintaining yourself is your godly duty as a woman. Let me say it again, it's self love and self respect.
Then,
2/ Your Feminine ENERGY. 
I'm literally talking about how your presence makes him feel. Have you ever had a phone conversation or just met someone and the tone of their voice, their smile gave you goose bumps and elevated your energy right away?
Making you smile, and feel warmer inside? That's what I'm talking about. Some people have the power to project their amazing energies into you and make you feel amazing in split-seconds. Everyone is of course different but the ones who love you, DO feel the energy of your soul.
And masculine men CRAVE for the feminine energy. The loving, the kind, the healing, the peaceful, resting, warm energy. They NEED you to be fully immersed into it, and let him join you into it.
They will do and pay anything to help you sustain and protect this beautiful environment. And it starts with the place you live in. Your body (back to point 1). Then your home. and the rest of your universe.
3/ Your RESPECT for him: This goes way deeper than the way you love him. Men will ALWAYS prefer being respected than being loved if they had to chose between the two. If you haven't read them, check out these books:
Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
5 Love Languages
These are most definitely books that WILL drastically improve your relationship for the better. Feminism has us fooled with many ideas, and yes I'm fully aware that this movement gave the western woman many rights, and I'm not talking about this.
The movement also pushes women to violently disrespect men in MANY different ways, on a daily basis. Making you believe that it's a synonym of empowerment. It's not, it truly isn't. It's the number one key to ending your days living in an apartment with hundreds of cats.
4/ Your brain & your drive:
Masculine men do not want air-heads anyway. They want smart driven women who know how to balance all the things stated before and their lives.
A woman who can literally put all this shit together. HER shit together I should say to be more exact. DO not try to rule his life. That's HIS job. Not yours.
A masculine man wants to lead most of the times. LET him. If you believe and trust him, this won't be hard for you to do.
If not, and I mean if you deeply believe that your man cannot lead the way in your relationship, then you probably chose the wrong kind of man for you. It's never too late to find the right one.
Please note: These points ARE the WHOLE package and aren't in any particular order. One doesn't compensate for the others. ALL, meaning EACH one of them are part of the whole package that is you.
So what's a TW then?
It's in masculine men's nature to want to provide, it DOES NOT mean that you shouldn't have your own. As a matter of a fact it is crucial that you have your own AND let him provide.
One idea that I love the most in Islam, is that it is clearly stated that a man has to provide for his household and his wife's need. Only then a woman will submit to him and respect him fully. She can however have her own sources of income and decides if she wants to participate in the household spendings OR not.
Other religions have similar ideas too.
A TW is literally what ever you want to be. But most importantly she KNOWS how to be the most unique version of herself. And that IS ENOUGH.
But then what if you just do NOT want to work?
It took me a while to come up to a very simple realization. And that's because while growing up my mother always pushed me to "be independent". And to this day she still does.
I had to pounder very deeply on these things.
First of all, your value as a woman does NOT depend on what you can "bring to the table". It never was and never will.
Your value does NOT depend on how productive you can be. How much money you can earn, how much achievements you can reach. NONE. OF. THAT.
You are WELL worthy of being loved and taken care of, and just simply existing because you do. period.
Let me say it differently. You were born WORHTY. There's NOTHING that you have to do to be worthy. Your man, husband should know and appreciate that at it's right value.
You are NOT a financial burden. You ARE valuable, without having to do or achieve ANYTHING.
Your value is in you BEING you. Going back to the "whole package" idea.
Is this laziness?
I know these days if a woman doesn't want to work, she's labelled lazy. It's not. It's about understanding that the "whole package" is contribution in itself. It's HIGHLY valuable.
As I said, it's a man's reason for living, so he can experience that "package" with you.
But the scriptures say that you have to be a hard working woman at home or an active member of the society....
Yes. And you already are. Directly or indirectly. A woman who lives in her "whole package" vibe is an inspiration of everyone around her. That's her CONTRIBUTION to the world if she feels that it's enough. So it is. And there should be no room for shaming this.
And the ones shaming these women, are the ones who don't understand what I just wrote about.
The idea of "Keeping your independence"
I cannot believe how much I have been SO stubborn in grasping, holding on SO damn hard on my "independence"....
As mentioned growing up that's something my mom kept on repeating to me. That's because her marriage to my father was far from being exemplary. And I get her from those circumstances.
Let me remind you if you had a mom like mine, you are NOT your mom and your husband is NOT your father. Therefore your marriage and experience with it ARE NOT the same.
My simple question to you is: Why would you want to feel "independent"? How does being married truly makes you feel? Trapped in any ways?
I pondered so hard on this one. As a married woman I DO NOT want to be independent. I am married. Independence is the complete opposite of marriage.
Do you want independence still? Then be single! you'll have plenty of independence.
Marriage and being a wife truly requires from you to completely abandon your maiden self. That's only then that true union is ever possible. Marriage is two people coming as one. If you have found a husband that you love and loves you back, you won't need to feel independent.
We very often take love and relationship advice from women who are still wounded. My mom for example is currently single.
And the teaching she can ever pass on me are the ones of a woman who's been through three failed marriages. That's precisely why I do NOT take marriage advice related to "staying in a successful marriage" from her.
Who have you been listening to so far? Are they in the type of marriage that you aspire to be in? If not, then I invite you to reframe your way of thinking around what they taught you to believe.
The "he will go for someone younger" idea:
Ok, yes that happens, because some relationships aren't meant to last forever. But who says YOU won't do that before he does?? Or leaving him for a better option? Who will treat you better if your current one starts tripping? THAT right there is the TW mindset.
Because you know your value, and the value of being the "whole package".
Your aging DOES NOT diminish your worth or value. It does NOT. The way you perceive yourself is the ONLY factor that can have that effect ladies. Not a man. Not what your mom would say. Or what your "friends" who mean "well", or your community members will say.
NONE. OF. THAT.
It's you vs YOU.
So why wouldn't you feel proud to FULLY be your own FULL package anyway?
You can have it, so flaunt it for you, for God, and your (future) lucky hubby sister.
Popular Reads:
How To Preserve Your High Value & Feminine Energy During A Crisis
How Dressing More Feminine Will Change Your Life
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hongism · 3 years
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I think that you are a genuinely intelligent person. The way you phrase your sentences, basic or not, you always make it seem as if you’ve put hours of thought and care into it.
When i see the way you write, I immediately think, “Yeah, that’s def an educated person.”
Ofc i don’t know you personally, but i felt if i had told you my darkest secret, you wouldn’t tell anyone and you would take that secret to your grave.
You’re just a very safe person for a lot of us to talk to, and for me, i could almost say you’re like a big sister, except without the sister part because big sisters are mean. Anyways, you seem like a very caring person, and i don’t want to compare negatively with anyone else, but usually when i send asks to other creators, i expect a short or vague response, and i didn’t rlly have a problem with that. But you actually talk to us, and it doesn’t feel like we’re talking to a celebrity who is so far out of touch with us.
Even though you have a lot on your plate with school and writing, you manage to show us your strong side, even if it may be hard. That’s what i envy about you. But if you do ever feel it, you can show us that you’re struggling, and the reason you can do that is bcs you’ve created a close bond with us. Even with the people who don’t send asks, they probably feel care for you like the ones who send asks do.
This may just be me, but I really like to make sure that people feel important and feel their impact on other people. I want you to know that every morning when i wake up and go through tumblr, I always get excited for your posts and i like looking through all of them, especially your daily hongjoong posts.
You are genuinely so talented and I could probably write a whole essay as to why i think your talented. I could analyze your stories and still not really get to the nitty gritty because it would take time to actually try and see what exactly goes on in your mind and your characters minds when i read, and that’s, like, the best thing ever. Like, there wasn’t a lot of authors where i could read their stories and try to analyze their characters, or when i do so, it’s so quick and easy. I hope you get what i mean, because i’m honestly not good at explaining things because my mind is going a mile a second and once a thought it there then it just leaves immediately lmao.
But to finish this off, i will say it simply 😤 You are an amazing writer and your writing and persona has a positive impact on not only me but all of us. I love you ❤️
- 🗡
NAUR FOR REAL I WASN'T EXPECTING THIS KIND OF LOVE FROM ANYONE HELP?!?! cried the first time i saw this in my emails and cried again reading it just now okay yes AAAAA i feel like any response i try to come up with is gonna be an absolute mess and im gonna be a mess and this is just overall a mess BUT!!!! let me just pretend im put together enough to respond coherently :')
do forgive me if this isn't as detailed or coherent as usual im genuinely a bit !!! speechless because of how kind and beautiful and touching this whole ask is? in all my time on tumblr i don't think i've ever received something like this or something that really shook me the way this ask does and it's such a high honor and a true blessing for me <3
i think for me the thing that is most important in interacting with others around me is that sense of safety. as much as i want to feel safe here on this blog, i want and feel a burning need for others to also feel safe. i want people to know they are loved and cherished here no matter what, and in my time as an anon on various writing blogs, the thing that always bothered me was when people would respond to a detailed ask with 1-2 sentences that never felt genuine. i strive to maintain a certain level of respect for any ask i receive, no matter who is behind it, and i want to give my all in responding to those asks because i know what it feels like to give a lot and receive little in return. beyond that i just adore getting to talk with people, and in real life, talking to people is incredibly difficult and stressful for me. being able to talk so much and so freely here on this blog is such a rewarding experience for me as a person beyond just being a writer and a content creator.
but also im someone who doesn't like showing when things are difficult. i only really admit that it's hard and hurts when it's been bottled up for a while, but these days im trying my best to learn to be more forgiving with myself, and truly it's because of the love and affection and support that you all show me that i feel comfortable enough and safe enough to open myself to you guys.
as someone who also loves making sure people feel important and needed and special, it means so much to me that you find such value in my blog because it's such a special and precious place to me as well
and to hear those compliments about my writing is reall y really something i will cherish forever, i have a place where i keep screenshots and messages that mean a lot to me and i can assure you that this one is going there in an instant. to think that before coming to tumblr, i was so insecure about my writing that i couldn't bear to look at it or share it with even my closest friends and family, and now here i am blessed and lucky enough to share my works with thousands of people is truly one of the greatest blessings i've ever been given. it might seem odd or foolish to some people, but to have this blog and this community and this family of people is so incredibly special to me and has helped me grow as a person in ways i didn't think possible. i adore that i have each and every single one of you because i know i would have left forever ago if not for the community i have been able to build up over the years and it's still as special to me now as it was when i received my first followers.
this is sappy enough and emo enough but thank you from the bottom of my heart thank you and i love you sosoososos much 😭💞💗
send me a LONG (or short) anonymous message saying what you think of me
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Controversial and stigmatized beliefs, propaganda- also known as uh, complete and utter bullshit.
While I was brainstorming this morning, it got me thinking- “Why don’t I do a blog about my top three topics that I have the strongest, beliefs and experience in?”
Today, it’s time we discussed some Drugs, Satanism, and Sex (Work), where you could damn near say that I am as close to an expert on, as expertise gets.
Plus, I figured, why the fuck shouldn’t I break down the stigmatized ignorant belief systems and stereotypes about some of the most misunderstood topics to date?
Welcome to todays episode of: Satan, Sex, Secrets! Fuck Your Stigma: Ep. #1!
Get ready to get fucking schooled, because today, we are going to get raw and in-depth.
Because today, we are going to debunk the most common stigmatized misconceptions about three of the most taboo topics to date- we are talking about Satanism, Sex/Work, and some top secret truths behind these severely misunderstood topics.
Trust me, I would know, as I personally am a Satanist, Sex Worker, and Sex Advocate and Addict…
Stigma, Propaganda, Ignorance. What do these three things have in common, you ask?
They all have one for sure thing in common: they are all fucking loads of bullshit. it can come in endless shapes, and sizes. Sometimes though, it comes in the shape of someone we trust more than anything, in the news, and also in Christianity- but we will, as always, get to that later on.
Well, I suppose I should begin with what prompted me to write this piece, specifically. What prompted me to write this right now was a very motivating,(I feel motivated, anyway!) fucking email, one that speaks to every belief I have in my very existence.
Say the biggest of hellos to the newest fucking member of… THE SATANIC TEMPLE!
Now, let me be crystal clear here, The Satanic Temple, and Satanism overall, is ignorantly misunderstood as fuck. People will read or hear the word Satan-anything, and automatically lose their fucking shit, no bullshit (the people out there that have no common sense to educate themselves before establishing a “belief system”, if you can even call it that.)!
The. Satanic. Temple. Does. Not. Worship. SATAN!!!
A bit shocking, I know.
Here are some very useful facts about The Satanic Temple, as well as Satanism overall-
Let’s Talk Satanism!
Let me start this off, with some useful facts about The Satanic Temple- more specifically, facts directly from TST themselves:
“The Mission of The Satanic Temple is to Encourage Benevolence and Empathy, Reject Tyrannical Authority, Advocate Practical Common Sense, Oppose Injustice, and to Undertake Noble Pursuits.”
Now… let’s compare the mission of The Satanic Temple, vs. the mission of “Christianity”- The Seven Fundamental Tenets vs. The Ten Commandments.
The Seven Fundamental Tenets of TST are as follows: And then there would be The Ten Commandments … But first, let me just say, that is was fucking impossible to even find two versions of Christianity’s Ten Commandments!
I have some very strong beliefs on the topic of Christianity, if I am being honest here.
Although, my beliefs stem from factual evidence and experience, so I do believe I am more than qualified to share them.
Anyways, The Ten Commandments are as follows:
1. I am the Lord your God: You shall not have strange Gods before me.
2. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.
3. Remember to keep holy the Lord’s Day.
4. Honor your father and mother.
5. You shall not kill.
6. You shall not commit adultery.
7. You shall not steal.
8. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
9. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.
10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s goods.
From https://www.catholic.com/magazine/print-edition/the-true-ten-commandments
So, now you’ve read The Ten Commandments. Now, what about The Seven Fundamental Tenets of TST?
I am in the mood to write a little bit extra today. So, let’s get a little controversial.
i. One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.
ii. The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.
iii. One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.
iv. The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one’s own.
v. Beliefs should conform to one’s best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one’s beliefs.
vi. People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one’s best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.
vii. Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word. https://www.thesatanictemple.com
The most amazing reference I have come across so far, would have to be the “Hail Satan” podcast- more specifically though, “The 10 Commandment” Episode, where real members of TST compare these two (it is actually the best fucking thing, ever.)
Highly recommend this, by the way.
Now, The 10 Commandments, on a very honest base level, is so mother-fucking contradictory, not to mention incredibly egotistically and ignorantly designed for gullible humans to fall victim to- and also? Fun-fact: no matter what religion you identify as, it is not some excuse for mysogynistic “belief systems” nor something that should be used for discriminatory actions, something used to “convert sinners”, and LASTLY- “Sinning” is something that is strictly specific to CHRISTIANITY ALONE!
Therefore, it is factually impossible to “convert sinners”, as you technically cannot be a “sinner” if you are not a Christian to begin with- therefore, it would be literally impossible to “save or convert”, anyone outside of the Christian Religion.
Personally, I would say that the latter (TST), is by far more reasonable to follow- not to mention at least TST is consistent- and justifiable at minimum!
Although, everyone is absolutely entitled to their own opinions!
Believe what ever you so desire, but do not force it upon others just because another human being doesn’t follow the same belief system as you do.
If you evaluate TST and Satanism on a base-level, it is far more realistic and reasonable to follow than most would expect!
A very good example of why educating yourself is so fucking important! Ironically, though, members of TST do not even believe in Satan, or the supernatural- at all!
In all honestly, I have always been attracted to the more “taboo/shock value inducing” type of things in life- hence, me being a Stoner, a Sex Worker and Sex Addict, Poly-addict, and now, proudly, a Satanist.
This is going to be, a several-part series!
Stay Tuned…
So, if those of you who are reading this, have any questions, or stigmas you want to have debunked- leave a comment below and ask me anything!
-Haylee the Satanic Sex Working Stoner
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shiroganeryo · 3 years
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D.Gray-Man Tag!
I got tagged by my friend Violet to hop into this little game she made, and there are few things I love more than babbling about DGM, so let’s go! The rules are to tag three people to get the game going, so I’ll do it at the start because this will get looong. I’ll tag @14th-melody, @metzzi and @rudimentor0x0. Here’s the blank post. Sorry if you have already done it, I might’ve missed the posts ;;
⭐ What year did you first get into DGM? Hmm, actually, that’s a hard question because I didn’t get into it right away? If memory serves me right about what grade I was in high school when that happened, I was 15 - so, 2008. Pull a chair, I’ll tell you how that went. It was actually a recommendation from a friend of my best friend; we weren’t particularly close, I just knew he and I had a similar taste for anime/manga and I was looking for getting into a new series... but I wanted it to be worthwhile. So I asked my bestie if her friend wouldn’t give me a rec. He recommended me D.Gray-Man, and just like I do before watching any series, I watched the first opening to get an overall “feel” of it and I quite liked it: cool aesthetic, music was dope, characters were nice-looking. But, for some reason, I didn’t watch it and eventually forgot about it.
Then, one day on my way back home from school, I stopped by a nearby newspaper stand since here they also sell manga. They were all very cheap at that time, so I would often look for new volumes of the titles I was collecting (my allowance was enough to buy two or three!). I saw DGM’s first volume there, and went “oh! It’s that one series he had recommended me! I’ll take it and finally give it a shot.”
I fell in love.
I really liked it at first, but the point where DGM completely won my heart was during Lala’s arc. I had never cried with a manga before. 
⭐ Who’s your favorite character? This is probably very unoriginal, but it’s Allen! At the start I was very lukewarm about him, but as time went on, I felt like I could relate more and more to that kind-hearted boy and he became my role model. DGM has been with me through some of the worst of my life, and Allen’s resolve to keep going, keep walking, no matter how hard things were for him was what motivated me many times in past. It still does. Allen also taught me to be kinder and through him I realized being there for others makes me truly happy. Sadly, I also share with him the same trait of being unable to truly see how appreciated I am and all the good I bring others just for being there... But I’m working on that! He became the first character I felt like I could fully relate to, and I was surprised - but still very happy - to realize that, now that I’m an adult with more experience and maturity, I feel like I can understand him even more and better than before. Our connection didn’t wane with time, I feel so much closer to him now. He’s very special to me.
Standing at the second spot - because it’s also fair I would mention her -, is Miranda! I always say that if Allen didn’t exist, Miranda would be my number 1 since she stands so close to him hahaha After him, she’s another character I deeply relate with. My self-esteem isn’t the best out there so I’m quick to think I’m worthless or useless, just like her. Even so, she wouldn’t give up. Every time I felt like giving up because of auto depreciation, I would think “Miranda would try again, she would work harder”.
It’s like the two of them were walking me through the steps so I could move forward and keep doing my best.
⭐ Who’s your least favorite character? I’m going to say Chaozii. But, before we get to the usual “Chaozii slander” we’re used to doing in this fandom, let me elaborate. It has nothing to do with him not siding with Allen. As much as I love Allen, I know we’re able of sympathizing with his ideals because as the readers we have a plethora of information on his motives; if not for that, we would probably take the same stance as Chaozii has taken about him.
What riles me about Chaozii is that, unlike all of the characters, his mindset is either black or white, good or bad. Everyone seems to have a perfect mix of both, showing many facets just like, well, real, imperfect people. Chaozii is the only one who doesn’t have that. Being simple-minded is not a bad trait, but when that clouds your judgement, then it turns into a bad thing.
It all fell apart when he snapped at Allen when he refused to kill Tyki. That particularly bothered me a ton, even if I understand his feelings. Chaozii, who thought it was wrong and cruel to kill humans and was grieving for his lost comrades, was fine with killing a human whom he wasn’t even sure if was being forced to do things or not. Do you see the issue here? Chaozii never feels to me like he’s striving to do the right thing in order to bring justice, but instead, because he wants revenge.
I hope he does get to learn one thing or two in the future. He has potential to be a great character; but he needs a “redemption” first.
⭐ Who’s your favorite general? Tiedoll! Although I like all of them for different reasons. I really love Cross and differently from what some people think, he did care for Allen and I love their rather dysfunctional relationship. He’s a much deeper character than just a womanizer full of fishy shenanigans. He’s also really badass: former scientist, user of magic, (former) wielder of both an Innocence of his own and another person’s (Grave of Maria). I just happen to love Tiedoll a liiiittle more because I can’t take this guy! He’s just so sweet, and his doting nature makes him both funny and lovely. General Sokalo is really cool and all, but I feel like he’s just a cool guy to me. On a side note, General Klaud could step on me and kill me and I’d thank her. I hope we get to learn more about her Innocence sometime.
⭐ Who’s a character you would get along with? I would love to say it’s Allen, but he’s someone really hard to get close to. If I think about the characters I’d like to befriend because of shared traits or interests, I think I could get along well with Miranda, Krory, and Marie. The first two because they’re two softies who just happen to be really awkward, I feel like I would probably befriend them after trying to comfort them too often. And, the latter, because I’m a person who likes calm company whom I can have honest talks with.
⭐ What kind of innocence would you have? I honestly have no idea. If I had to pick one from the ones we already have, I think I would go with the Dark Boots. Being able to fly and maneuver in mid-air would be a dream come true, I feel the happiest when the wind blows against me. If I have to think of something “for me” specifically, I think I would like a long range Innocence. I particularly like firearm-like weapons like guns, so maybe a gun or dual pistols? Yeah, I think I’d really like the dual pistols.
⭐ What’s your favorite ship? Ah, to be in the DGM fandom is to be a multishipper; yet this is the part where I always get nervous at because my favorite is a rarepair. But!!! I’m building up the courage to be more open about (and less self-judgmental of) the things I like. It’s Allen x Miranda. I don’t really know when it started; from what I said before, you already know they’re both my top favorite characters and very special to me, so I naturally loved it when I saw them sharing screentime. When I realized it, I was looking at them and thinking “they would make such a cute couple together”. It just kinda happened.
To keep this short, there’s this blog I really like explaining about this pair’s dynamics. I think they have a great dynamic together and much potential. They could very easily have a wholesome relationship based in lots of patience and mutually covering the other’s weaknesses and helping them become someone better. These are the best kinds of relationships imo. I hope to share some of my headcanons for them (and even writing, hopefully!) sometime in here. I always picture Allen being older, so that gives me some free room for creativity; it doesn’t look like he has time for romantic love right now, and I don’t really feel comfortable with him being a minor for this ship, so both things go hand in hand.
Honorable mentions go to Link x Allen (again, older!Allen), Yulma and LaviLena, as I also get super happy when I see these particular shippings. 
⭐ What’s your least favorite ship? I actually have some, but it goes against my policies to publicly (consciously) say negative things about certain things if I can help it. I know I’m allowed to have opinions, but you never know who can stumble upon it and what I dislike can be something that makes someone really happy, you know? I tend to stay silent about such things when it comes to something as harmless as shippings.
So, I think I can say I’m accepting of everything as long as everyone respects each other! And, of course, if it isn’t distasteful (as in, illegal).
⭐ What branch would you want to be part of? We’ve only seen the European and Asian branches properly before but even if there aren’t many choices, this is still a hard question; I think both have lots of good things going for them. I think I would probably want to settle with the Asian Branch! I love how lively the atmosphere is and I also feel like there are way less science division shenanigans in there... Sorry, Komui. 
⭐ What’s your favorite arc? I have three! The Rewinding City arc came right after Lala’s arc - that had touched me a lot -, bringing in even more feels. It introduced Miranda and at the blink of an eye, made me care so much about her. The first activation of Time Record after she protected Allen, followed by his thanks to her hit so hard; I get really emotional talking about it. It was such a great, yet touching moment. I think everyone can relate to that; being worthy of receiving gratitude for something they did for someone.
Then, there’s Lulu Bell’s Invasion of the Black Order arc, followed by the appearance of the Level 4 Akuma. I can’t express into words how great the flow of the elements are there. The plot is focusing on multiple characters with their own background dramas happening, all at once, yet none of it feels out of place. Everyone gets their moment, everyone contributes to the big picture (saving the staff and defeating the Akumas). It all felt like one big collective effort of several parts uniting forces, no one was more or less important than the other. It was expertisely done.
And the last mention goes to the Searching for A.W’s arcs (Saying Goodbye to A.W also included). These arcs are being extremely painful but, at the same time, also extremely rewarding to go through. For the first time ever, we’re seeing Allen give in to his wants and acknowledge his feelings; he’s not honest with himself very often, and seeing him actually admit that he still wanted to go on - for himself -, that he still wanted to hold onto hope was something that I suddenly realized I had always wanted to see him do. It’s like I had been waiting for so long. Allen is growing up, and I’m loving to see the part Johnny and Kanda are playing in this. I could talk all day about how happy it makes me, to feel this much hope in the midst of such a difficult situation these arcs are covering. It captures very well the essence of D.Gray-Man imo: the bittersweetness of the hardships of life, and the good things it makes us realize we have had all along. The people we have by our side. The will to continue moving forward because we still have something we love and want to fight for.
Whew, I expected this would get long but guess I got too carried away; those were amazing questions to answer to! If you read until now, you have my most sincere gratitude and appreciation. I wish you have a lovely day! 😊
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the questions
Name/Alias: Mary
Birthday: April
Zodiac Sign: Taurus
Height: 162-165cm (I am not certain)
Hobbies: Writing, listening music, reading, watching TV shows/movies/anime
Favorite Color: Blue
Favorite Book: I don’t have a favorite book for the simple reason I haven’t read many those last years. ‘The Great Gatsby’ used to be one of my favorites but I am not sure anymore.
Last Song: The Search by NF
Last Film/Show: Anon (2018)/ Boku No Hero Academia
Inspiration: My biggest inspiration is BNHA and Deku. Then comes music and AMVs. 
Story Behind URL: Okay, this is going to be long. Once, I was scrolling on pinterest and found a gif for Mikaela Hyakuya from Owari No Seraph. This gif: (sadly I don’t know the creator of this gif and can’t credit them)
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This had been one of the most beautiful character descriptions I’ve read and had it on my mind for a long time. After searching the term ‘Knight In Sour Armor’, except lemon jokes, I found a Wiki page for TV tropes describing what those characters act like and found examples like Castiel from Supernatural or Gatsby from ‘The Great Gatsby’ which always had been characters I loved. So I replaced my former ‘castiellover’ and ‘tenshilover’ usernames to this one.
When I decided to turn this blog to a multimuse roleplay blog, I decided on keeping that username for the reason most characters I roleplay (or plan to roleplay) match that description.
A few info from that wiki are here: 
The world is filled with Wide Eyed Idealists who believe in truth and justice and devote their lives to fighting for it. And then the dark, cruel and brutal world keeps letting them down. For them, Being Good Sucks. But rather than giving up on their goals, they choose to fight not because they believe they will truly make a difference, but because it's the right thing to do.
More often than not these characters are in settings that feature Black-and-Gray Morality. They're usually survivors who have largely given up on believing in Honor Before Reason, but still strive to be Lawful Good or as close to it as reality allows them to be. They are willing to bend the rules to save them.
You really have to be a good guy to believe that Humans Are Bastards and care about them anyway. Such characters can also be The Fettered; their cynical outlook tells them they could probably get away with all kinds of things that they don't do because that would be wrong, and just because the world sucks doesn't mean you need to make it worse.
They are former Wide Eyed Idealists who have come to accept that their world is on the low end of the Sliding Scale of Idealism vs. Cynicism, but who still find something beautiful in their former ideals that they want to hold on to. These people tend to have gone through (often painful) Character Development in their past.
Despite their cynicism, they behave like The Anti-Nihilist.
Tagged by: @collidingxworlds (thank you so so much!)
Tagging: @dekiruherodeku @reflectionbound @youngestofendeavor @sunshiinepower @cremationtm @azurewildfire @symbol-of-terror @tximidity @txnatiuh @awaywardboy-andhisangel @takemetochrch @universi-venatores @florablooms @kvngexplosionmvrder @greeneyesleatherjacket @eijiishima @kibouhero @rainydayhxro @biggergiants @explosiveheroics @historias-multorum @freckledfanboy @tenacityblitz and many many more I couldn't remember to tag...
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chixibrown · 4 years
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Upon finishing the Stardew Valley comic
Since the Stardew Valley comic has been released by Fangamer, I am now able to write about what I had been doing in secret for one long year.
■ Gratitude
First of all, to the original creator Eric-san who entrusted the task in my hands, to Kari-san who helped me from early development all the way to printing, to Ryan-san, to Steven-san who did the translations, to Kari-san's mother who assisted in the creation of the envelope, to Erica-san for product photography -- And last but not least, everyone at Fangamer and FangamerJP.
It's thanks to the support of many people that I was able to finish the comic, and I wish to extend my sincerest gratitude towards everyone involved.
■ Chronology
"Chihiro! Big News! Let's create a new merch together!" was a request that I received around autumn of 2018. At first I was wondering if I was going to be asked to design a T-shirt, but turned out to be an invitation to draw a comic book!
At that time, I was posting comics on Twitter at random. Not even in my wildest dreams have I thought that my little comics would be appreciated so, and thus I immediately burst into tears.
I'm very honored and thankful for the opportunity to pen Fangamer's very first comic.
■ Contents
I'll try not to spoil anything about the story in this section.
The content requested by the original creator Eric-san for the comic was: "The story before the farmer comes to the farm" "With focus on the community center and Joja" "And the protagonist should have no set characteristics"
These were really the ONLY information that we received from Eric-san throughout the whole process (whyyy).
I was definitely worried. In reality, for around six months when I did my preliminary research, I played Stardew Valley every day, took countless pictures, and absorbed myself in collecting materials.
I I ended up taking a little over 20 thousand screenshots total (lol).
I wholeheartedly agree with Eric-san's guideline not to give the protagonist any set characteristics. I think one of the keypoints of this game is that "Anyone can be the protagonist".
The story is set from a few years before the prologue of game, so I was rather careful not to show my own personal interpretation. In principle, the actions of the characters were mostly taken from their in-game dialogue where they mention having done something in the past (For example, the reason Sam got in trouble lmao).
It took a lot of effort outlining the story, which involved things such as "Which characters would be in contact with each other?" and "Which characters may not be present at the valley at the time?". This is the reason why the preliminary research took around six months.
By the way, I was the one who proposed to include a "letter" with the comic, both as a bonus and major spoiler, in a way. But uh, many fellow Japanese may not be able to read it, so... I'll secretly tell you the what's actually written on the letter:
It's the handwritten version of THE letter you receive in the English version of the game's prologue. It's in your hands now. So in conclusion, it's probably exactly what you think it was.
I was quite adamant about how the letter needs to be handwritten. And as who wrote it... I shall keep it a secret here.
The reason why the comic had little to no dialogue is because it was the style I had back from the time I was drawing Stardew Valley fan art. Since Stardew Valley is a media not originally from Japan, that style serves to fulfill my two wishes: "I want people all over the world to be able to read my work" and "I want to cherish the feelings of each individual player" -- That sort of idea, really.
To summarize,
"I want people all over the world to be able to read my work"
"I want to preserve the unique interpretations each individual player might have"
"Anyone can become a Stardew Valley protagonist"
I drew the comic with these concepts in mind.
■ About me
I would like to talk about my experiences throughout the development of the comic.
My name is Chihiro Sakaida (a.k.a. Brown Junimo), I was already working for a game company, so I took advantage of that experience to work on game design and illustration.
Of course, while I was working on the Stardew Valley comic, I was a freelancer and had other jobs to worry about as well, so I ended up spending a lot of time working on the comic at night after work. I also studied digital art for a month for the sake of the comic, and I think it helped improved my work efficiency.
Those were truly, very fun days for me. The only thing that did bother me was the fact that even though I was working on my favorite Stardew Valley content day after day, I couldn't really share it with anyone.
I didn't want to take the risk of accidentally running my mouth on Twitter, and I no longer had the time to draw and post online like I used to -- So I had to resort to posting only low-risk tweets, so to speak, and to be honest, it was quite disheartening.
As such, I felt truly supported by the trusted individuals who knew about the comic. Tori-san, Aki-san, Kari-san, and Ryan-san, thank you so, so much.
■ Those who supported me
Tori-san is my partner, and also a person I respect as a novelist and screenwriter. She kindly and carefully reviewed and summarized my messy story.
Aki-san knew about the comic existed, but also knew next to nothing about it. Because of that, I think it was more than a handful to support me. It must've been really hard on Aki-san, who didn't know the contents of the book and thus had no way to accidentally spoiling the surprise, but whom also probably held even more feelings of shame than I did in regards to social media... I'm sorry that you've had to put up with so much. I was very proud to have you be the first reader of the finished book.
Kari-san is the illustrator of the Official Stardew Valley Guide Book, and I respect her a whole lot.
Both her work are her personality are very kind and easy-going. Together with her partner Ryan-san, she's managed to assist and encourage me many, many times.
No matter what I drew, I was sure to be greeted with her "Chihiro, you're so great!" or "Chihiro, you really did your best!" (Even my own mother have never praise me this much!) Overall, she feels just like an older sister I've always longed for, and it makes me very happy.
No matter what merch was in the process of being created, she would say "Let's make a brown one!!", solely because it's my signature color. It makes me very happy, although probably a tiny bit embarrassed as well to have her value my one schtick this much. She's even came to Japan many times, and listened to me talk all day long. After all, I wouldn't have been able to get this job to begin with if it wasn't for Kari-san, so she's a real lifesaver.
I didn't get to talk directly with Eric-san, the original creator and developer of Stardew Valley. Obviously I received some feedback via Fangamer, but I was refraining from being in contact with him as much as possible. I didn't think I could convey my full sincerity towards him before the comic was completed. I strived to be able to earnestly understand the feelings he wanted to convey via his own words -- Whether it was the game dialogues, his words on the developer blog and interviews, etc.
There was, by the way, no revision whatsoever to the comic. Eric-san did, however, carefully check all of my ideas and always provided words of appreciation; which made me happier than anything else. Those words became my motivation to live, in a sense, which in turn allowed me to freely and happily work on the comic.
■ Going Forward
While I've been talking about how proud I am to have finished the comic, I also would like to talk about what's coming next. While I certainly plan to continue working with Fangamer for the foreseeable future, at the same time, I have also decided to work for another game development company, and I plan to devote my time working on game development for at least the next year.
It has been my dream for the past 15 years to work for this particular company, and I'm elated to see it come true.
However, as a result I think I will have less exposure to social media. I don't think it's going to be easy to recreate that warm and wondrous time where I could interact with people regularly, but my memory of that time is something I will treasure for the rest of my life.
I'm really sorry that I have absolutely nothing to give back, but I sincerely hope the comic has brought a smile to everyone who's read or even merely noticed it.
■ Finally
I'm such a fortunate person -- I've come this far due to everyone's support, and for that, I would also like to extend my deepest gratitude. Thank you so much, for everything, always.
It would delight me if all of you could stay with me from this point on.
As I try to polish my skills and improve myself as a whole.
PS: Thanks to my best friend Ryou-chan for translating this!
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jellybeanbeing · 4 years
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An Ember in the Ashes, A Torch Against the Night, and A Reaper at the Gates by Sabaa Tahir Book Review
I’m going to skip out on telling the synopsis because it would only make this post extra lengthy so if you haven’t read this series yet, go check it out! 
Past Reviews:
https://jellybeanbeing.tumblr.com/post/174230855131/an-ember-in-the-ashes-by-sabaa-tahir
https://jellybeanbeing.tumblr.com/post/174705848336/a-torch-against-the-night-by-sabaa-tahir
https://jellybeanbeing.tumblr.com/post/175215237101/a-reaper-at-the-gates-by-sabaa-tahir
https://jellybeanbeing.tumblr.com/post/186834634051/a-reaper-at-the-gates-by-sabaa-tahir-updated
REVIEW W/ SPOILERS FROM EMBER, TORCH, & REAPER! 
I am fully aware that I have already done four reviews centering around these books (Ember, Torch, Reaper, Reaper Updated) but I read them again and I HAVE NEW THOUGHTS. I’m just gonna dive right into my thoughts because it’s gonna be really long. I will separate my thoughts into different sections--main characters, side characters, romantic relationships, plot, analytical things--just to try and keep this review as organized as possible. 
We shall begin with our main girl, Laia. Laia is a character who starts off as someone who is scared and doesn’t know what to do but she wants to do something. I think often we get stories of main characters already having a strong mentality and a certain unwavering strength inside them that helps guide them through their journey. Laia doesn’t have that in the beginning of this series. She’s constantly fearing that she’s going to fail and die. The only thing that is helping her get through Blackcliff, initially, are the voices of her family. And that’s why I think Laia is just such a great and relatable main character. She goes into becoming a spy to save her brother. She wasn’t going into it, thinking, “I’m going to save the Scholars.” That thought and ambition comes after she understands that she could do more and that saving Darin could lead to her saving the Scholars. She makes mistakes which I love, because people do make mistakes. Not everything she does or says is always right. I know I complained about this in my past reviews, but after this reread, I’m appreciating Laia and her journey more. She’s constantly being selfless, saving those she cares about rather than saving herself. In the second book, she’s finally starting to not doubt herself so much, and that’s because Elias gives her the strength and belief that she is strong. At the end of book one, we can see that Laia is breaking that surface of finding her own inner strength, but sometimes, our words aren’t enough to keep us going. Sometimes we need someone else’s words to keep burning. I also think that Laia is a character who thrives from the support of the people she cares about. When Keenan starts to belittle Laia and telling her she’s at fault for all the deaths, it makes her feel weak and stupid, and even Laia kind of sees it. After he leaves, Laia begins to recapture the strength she had and build on it. In the third book, we start seeing the leader in her. She’s becoming ruthless and strong without the words of her friends and family. She’s still tries to model herself after her mother, which is understandable because that’s who Laia looks up to, but I love that others around her tell her that, she’s not The Lioness, that she’s her own person and that she has a different strength. I think she’ll grow into that in book four.
Let’s talk about Elias now. I HAVE A NEW FOUND WHOLE APPRECIATION FOR HIS CHARACTER. If you read my past reviews about these books, you would know that I wasn’t fond of Elias as much as I was with Laia and Helene. I didn’t understand his motivations, his intentions, and why he was the way he was, but I understand his character more now. I think to really grasp onto who he is, you have to read the books right after each other because his emotions are linked so tightly together and the only way to get the true essence of them is to read the books all together. Elias is probably one of my favorite characters, if not, my favorite character of all time now. He’s someone who hates what he does and who he is at the beginning of the series, and we are slowly seeing Elias summon the courage to do something about it. All he wants to do is to able to love and care freely, and to feel true happiness for himself. At the end of book one, Elias finally gathers the courage to stop being the person he was, and start being the person he wants to be. His past continues to haunt him and he so badly just wants to right it, and not feel guilty. And I also think this makes Elias such a great and relatable character. We’ve often done things in our life that we regret or feel so much guilt for, and we try to find ways to relieve ourselves of it. We want to right our wrongs, and so badly want to become the person we strive to be. Sometimes, that’s a scary thing to do as well. Throughout these books, Elias is always put in a position where must become the person he doesn’t want to become, and if he doesn’t submit to being that person, it causes him and the people he loves to suffer the consequences. In book two, he’s constantly telling Laia that she gets to make her own choices and giving her strength. Elias doesn’t get to make his own choices, or if he does, they cause him great pain. I think this is a really heartbreaking yet selfless thing because if he can’t get to become the person he wants to be, he’ll help others become the people they want to be. In book three, Elias has to finally become the person he didn’t want to become which is someone who is cold and uncaring, but he does it because if he doesn’t then the people he loves will be in danger. We can a lot this push and pull throughout book three, and it’s such an emotional journey that Elias goes through. I have no idea where his character is going to go in book four.
Now for Helene. She’s still one of my favorite characters, but I understand her character dynamic more. Helene, in the beginning of this series, is already kind of a capable character who is strong physically and mentally but she has a lot vulnerability to her that adds to her strength. I’ve written an essay about Helene’s character two years back (not on this blog, but can post if someone wants to read it) so I’m going to take points from that. Helene is also a relatable and great character (you know what? A lot of the characters I talk about have a relatable factor to them). She is someone who has a deep love for the things she cares about. She’ll do anything in her power to protect them which even means allowing them to hurt if in the end they are still safe. We often have to choose between difficult things and sometimes they end up hurting others or ourselves in the process even when we didn’t mean to. Her love is a great strength but it’s also something that causes her great pain and consequences. Because she is someone bound to duty and the empire, and always wanting to do the right thing, her love often gets in the way of the task at hand. In the book one, her love for Elias grows into a romantic love and we can see that it causes her and Elias pain because they are now in this awkward stage with each other and they’re too afraid to confront them until Elias eventually does but even then it hurts them. At the end of book one, Helene lets Elias go and that’s a moment where her love overrules her sense of duty, and in book two, we know that this leads to consequences. Helene, in book two, now has to hunt Elias, knowing that it will tear her apart but she does it anyway because she was ordered to and her family’s lives are at stake. She captures Elias but let’s him go because she loves him platonically now. It causes for her mission to prolong and now her family’s lives are at stake but in the end, Helene doesn’t capture Elias because she senses that there is a threat to the empire, therefore risking her family’s lives and results in all but one of them to die. Her love and duty often pull her back and forth with the choices she makes. In book three, she becomes more bound with her love for the empire, but her love for her people becomes the thing that overrules. In book one, it was Elias. In book two, it was her family. Now in book three, it’s her people--the Martials. In the end, she sacrifices herself for her people and the arc from where her love began has changed and she gives into her heart. In book one and two, at the end, she choose to honor the empire and what it stands for. At the end of book three, she chooses to honor the love she has for her people. But it’s still something she struggles with and it’s evident in the scene at the end with her and Avitas. I think book 4 that will still be a present theme for her character but it become something where her love and duty don’t have to have a raging war inside of her.
There’s a blog post that I read a few weeks back and I think they do a great character analysis of Laia and Helene. It’s definitely worth the read and delves even more into their characters analytically than I do here, and is way more articulate and just so great. 
Here’s the link: https://sezzums.tumblr.com/post/150038101601/lets-talk-about-laia-and-helene
Onto side characters, and I’m only really going to be talking about the more important ones because we really do have a lot of side characters.
Let’s first talk about The Nightbringer/Keenan. Oh how I hated him during this third reread. I mostly hate Keenan, and not so much The Nightbringer. Keenan is such a manipulative and cruel character. From the beginning up to the point where he is revealed, he was constantly belittling Laia and making her feel like she was nothing. I get that it was his way of getting the armlet, but what a piece of trash. How Laia fell for him is a fucking mystery because fuck Keenan. But The Nightbringer, I enjoy this character more. I think it’s because we got more depth and background to who he was/is. I love that his motivations for doing what he is doing has an actual and understandable reason behind all of his actions. It really builds upon the complexity that this world already has with its blurriness of who’s right and who’s wrong. While reading the books this time around, I felt the only times I could really sympathize and feel some emotion other than hatred towards Keenan was when he mentioned his family and his loss. It was because I knew what had happened and I thought it built so much on The Nightbringer’s character rather than leaving him to be this evil jinn. We got to see and understand some of the human emotions he felt/related to. I honestly don’t even have a clue as to what his bigger plan is, but I can just feel like it’s gonna fuck everything up and I’m not ready for it.
Now onto Keris Veturia/The Commandant. I hate how much I enjoy her character so much because she is such an evil fucking bitch, but she is written so so well. The complexity that her character gives and the many layers to her are so fantastic to unveil and to discover. Her motivations and intentions are still in the dark but I feel like it all stems from her mother and her death, then after the death of Arius, it was acted upon. There’s still so much more to her character and why she is a total bitch, and I just want to know. One thing that I love is the meaning behind Keris’s tattoo. It is so meaningful and makes you really question who she is and why she does the things that she does. I would really like to see Keris interacting more with Laia and Elias in the next book because I think it would be so interesting, especially because Laia and Elias are in such different stages in their lives than they were when under the rule of her. I feel like I don’t have much to say because her character is still so in the dark, but let me tell you, the moment she dies will be the day I scream with joy. I’m also hoping that it’s Helene who does the deed because I think it would be so much more impactful due to so much of the Commandant’s taunting towards Helene.
Marcus Farrar is the complete fucking asshole and I hate his guts so so much, but I will acknowledge the fact that his character was written pretty well. He isn’t the true antagonist of this series, but a lot of what he does has/had impact on all three central characters. Throughout these books, he constantly belittles and attacks and harasses Helene, he abuses Livia, he attacks Laia, he taunts and bullies Elias, and a lot of other fucked up shit. His character could’ve been left at that, but Sabaa Tahir molds his character into more of a three dimensional character. After the death of Zak, we start seeing a more human side of him. He openly expresses the troubled feeling he has with Elias after the Trial of Strength, and this is the moment where we feel pity for Marcus. We start to uncover the harder outer shell of his character and understand that he feels those intense and heart wrenching emotions. There’s a line in book 3 where it describes perfectly what I’m trying to say: “I take their darkness--that which Blackcliff found within them and nurtured... When I look back at the twins, they are boys once more, untainted by the world.” (449) It describes the twins so well and the potential they had to not be the vicious people they were. Throughout book 2 and 3, we slowly start seeing Marcus’s mental health deteriorate. The death of Zak still haunts him, and like a lot of the other characters, he wasn’t allowed to mourn for him, someone who has been at his side since birth. The scene in Reaper where he discovers Helene’s healing powers and he tries to get her to heal him was such an emotional scene. We go into Marcus’s head and see that a lot of his rage and anger comes from the loneliness that he now feels because of Zak’s absence and haunting. It still doesn’t excuse his character for all the shitty things he’s done, but with this we get a better understanding of his character. It makes his death at the end much grander and impactful, and not a waste.
Avitas Harper, my favorite side character ever. Fuck, I love him so much. I don’t know why, but I’ll try to explain to the best of my abilities. It’s definitely more difficult for me to form thoughts on how I have grown to love him because of how he was first introduced to readers. Right at the beginning, he’s torturing Helene to get information out of her, duties given to him by the Empire/Marcus/The Commandant. We all know that within this world it is “duty first, unto death.” I feel like, yes, first impressions are everything and while Avitas’s first impression is definitely not the best, his actions contrast from what we were first given of his character. With those pockets of moments, we were able to get a feel of his character because we really don’t get a lot of information about him for the majority of Torch up until the end. In the end, we begin to see more than just the shell of his character. We find out that he’s Elias’s half-brother and from there, you can draw similarities between the two with their motivations. I’m not saying they are the exact same because they most definitely are not. I just think he has a similar wanting as Elias and that is to be a good and kind person, but where they diverge in that is where I think Avitas still wants to do right by the Empire, like Helene, and Elias wants nothing to do with the Empire. We start to understand this at the end of Torch where he reveals that he only took the mission to follow Helene because he wanted to know who Elias was. When you go back and reread Torch, you start to really see and understand those moments that we did get of him where it challenged what he were given of his character at the beginning. Throughout Reaper, we see more of who he is, and it’s far from what his character was at the beginning of Torch. It’s still not a lot, but I think his true intentions and character are really starting to settle in. He’s just always so kind and level-headed and smart. I just want more of his character because I know there’s more to his character. All the ground work is laid out for him, and I’m ready to get that content.
And just a brief go-over with other side characters and my thoughts: Zak, would have loved to have had some sort of redemption arc because he had some goodness within him that I thought could’ve been explored more and I wrote somewhere where he doesn’t act out like Marcus does and so I didn’t understand why people pinned Zak out to be the bad guy but after thinking more, the fact that Zak knows and often sees what the evils that Marcus does and doesn’t do anything to stop it (like that scene in Ember where Marcus is attacking Laia and Zak just walks away, pretending that it’s not happening) is in fact why he is pinned with the same disdain as Marcus. Afya, my queen, what a badass she is and I love her, she is probably one of the most sensible and smart characters to exist in this world, also love how flirtatious she is and how the confidence in her just radiates. Musa, what a king, absolutely love him and how sassy and sarcastic he is, definitely one of my favorites and his character dynamic is something that I enjoy reading about because he’s got this front of being charismatic and humorous but underneath all of that, he’s a sad boy, he literally spoke what was on my mind every time he was on the page and that was usually to say things like “are you done talking? because we need to leave like now.” and “we don’t have time for a heart-to-heart right now, we can do that another time” like honestly, yes, not to mention that I would also sell my soul just to get a Musa/Nikla story because I am intrigued by their relationship. Demetrius, my forever favorite and I’m so fucking sad that he died, the only side-side character in book one that I got super attached to. Darin, a lot of Laia’s story centers around getting him out of prison, honestly, lackluster compared to a lot of the other side characters, but I do like the strength that he instills in Laia and the care that he has for her, I don’t know, I just feel like his character should be more because he does play such an important role in the book. Cook, an actual big shocker for me that she was Laia’s mom, like the clues where there but I was too stupid to piece them together, thought she was such an interesting character and wished we got more from her, she had this weird ability to not be caught or traced whenever she snuck into place and is it tied to some magical ability that she has because she did have Laia’s armlet before it was Laia’s, the reveal of who she was was really well done with the flashbacks and just the way that Mirra was a different person from Cook was so interesting, I loved how Cook express her regret for who she was as a person and what she had done. There are a lot of other side characters but these are just the ones that I have deeper thoughts on. 
All of these characters are definitely flawed, some more than others, and that’s what I love. Not every character is a fucking rainbow or ray of sunlight. They make mistakes and from there, they grow. Under the circumstances that they are put under, they are tested to their limits to see and reach their full potential. There is a line that I love so much, that I feel captures the character’s journeys and what they are forced to go through because it is their fates. “Curse this world for what it does to the mothers, for what it does to the daughters. Curse it for making us strong through loss and pain, our hearts torn from our chests again and again. Curse it for forcing us to endure.” Reaper (448)
I wanna talk about the romantic relationships now.
Let’s talk about Elias and Laia first. I am really liking and appreciating their growth and relationship more now. I was never really attached to their pairing because I think I overlooked their whole progression. A lot of people say that it’s insta-love which it kind of is, but it falls a little bit farther behind from that trope. Sure, Elias thinks Laia is pretty from their first interaction, but I think he looks to Laia as someone he could save, and not in the “she’s a weak person and I’m a strong person so I have to protect her” but it plays more into his character and his want to change who he is. Elias helping and caring for Laia is one of the first steps into him grasping the courage to defying the person he doesn’t want to become. I mean, y’all ever watched a movie or TV show where a character is just shit on so much and you’re like “I want to be friends with that person so I can tell them how great they are”? I think that’s what Elias feels towards Laia along with his attraction to her beauty. It then slowly progresses when they have that night in his room. They talk to each other and reveal more about themselves. It gets rid of their ideation of each other. That kiss they had was built on lust. They found a connection between them and felt that spark. In book two, it begins to explore their relationship more. They spend quite a while alone travelling even though Elias is passing out half of the time, but they deal with hardships together, and from there, they get to know each other more. They are constantly supporting each other and building strength in the other person. While they are doing this, their attraction grows because they can lean and depend on each other without fear or guilt. They’ve found something in each other that draws them together, and together they are stronger. They are both characters who care a lot and sometimes too much, and that’s the best thing about them. Whenever they’re together, they feel safe and can freely express whatever they are feeling. Also, the fact that they both simultaneously dream about their future is wholesome as fuck. You can’t tell me that this couple doesn’t slap when it does.
Onto Helene and Avitas. They are also a couple that slaps hard. They have a more slow burn romance that is also the enemies to friends to lovers trope, and I love it. There’s a lot of discussion as to why people ship these two together and I think it’s completely valid. This is one of the more complicated ships because of how Helene and Avitas’s relationship starts. Throughout Torch, Helene constantly holds her guard up (as she should) against Avitas because of what she knows of him, and that is that he was her interrogator and that he works for the Commandant. As Torch progresses, she continues to be irritable of his existence but she slowly starts to become curious of his character and true intentions because of his actions don’t follow in suit of what an enemy or spy would do. There’s a shift in their relationship where Helene lets her guard down just the slightest bit when she talks about Elias to Avitas. The shift continues as the story progresses, but they never gloss over the fact that Avitas interrogated and beat Helene. It’s constantly brought up by both characters to emphasize that this relationship that’s forming, isn’t going to form so easily. It’s even brought up at the end of Reaper and at this point, the feelings that Helene and Avitas have for each other are clearly mutual romantic feelings. Slowly throughout Torch, Helene begins to put her trust into Avitas, and in Reaper, we get the sense that Helene now fully trusts him. She understands him more and from there, her feelings start to form because she feels that sense of comfort and security with him. I just really love that Helene is more of the hotheaded person and Avitas is more of the levelheaded person, and they balance each other out so so well. Also, the fact that Avitas never underestimates or undermines Helene, and is only there to support her and help her, and always lets her initiate intimacy or touching is the best fucking thing ever.
I read a great post about their relationship a year or so back and I constantly refer back to it whenever I write about their pairing:
https://elias-veturius-laia-of-serra.tumblr.com/post/175995984669/how-can-you-ship-helene-with-her-torturer-thats
Other side couples I want to quickly talk about (there’s only two): First is Helene and Elias. I shipped them during my second read if only for the fact that I’m a sucker for the friends to lovers trope. During my third reread, I didn’t really feel the romantic connection between the two. There is a sense of safety and security and comfort between the two because of how long they’ve known each other. But Elias never really has those romantic feelings as Helene does. It’s more of lust on his part. Onto Laia and Keenan/The Nightbringer. Now I was really surprised and confused that there are people who ship Laia with the Nightbringer. Like the dude literally destroyed her entire life and family with the intent of doing so because he gains something out of doing it. I don’t know, it doesn’t seem right to me. But with Laia and Keenan, I just can’t help but hate every fucking second that I have to read about their relationship in book one and two and the few scenes in book three now that I know who Keenan really is and what trashy things he’s done. I just hate it so much. He fucking manipulated her. 
Really quick on the magic system(?): I don’t have a lot of thoughts on it but just like, why is it only a select few who have magic? I also really love it and find that it weaves its way throughout the story really smoothly and it makes sense. 
One thing I want to touch upon because I just noticed it in my third reread but I love how Sabaa Tahir slips in the name changes subtly within the chapters to indicate the character’s feelings toward (mainly side) characters. For Laia, in the beginning of Ember, she always referred to Keenan as “The Rebel” or something of the variation, but as she grows closer to him, she refers to him as “Keenan.” In Torch, after she starts realizing how much power and confidence Keenan is taking away from her to subject her back into a more submissive role, she starts referring to him as “The Rebel” again. For Helene, she always referred to Avitas as first “The Northman” then “Harper” in the beginning of Torch. Later on. when her learning of his character grows and she begins to trust him more, she refers to him as “Avitas.” I’m sure there are more but I only caught those two this time around. Also, it’s probably irrelevant or not even that deep but hey, who knows?
Onto the plot of this series... I feel like this review is so fucking long already so I’m just gonna ramble about my favorite things/scenes in each book so as not to drag this on longer than it has to.
Starting with Ember! Honestly, this book is the one that makes me feel the most euphoric and sucks me in the most. The writing is just so fucking gorgeous and captivating. It also gets the job done, like there are so many books out there where the writing is really pretty but it has no purpose but to be pretty. The writing in Ember (and the other two) stays so beautiful yet still adds to the plot. This is such a great base book for what this series really becomes. If you really think about it, this book is sooo simple compared to the other two. It really makes you wonder how we got from the Commandant and Marcus being the biggest threats, trials to crown an emperor, and Laia wanting to save her brother to a magical jinn and a necromancer being the biggest threats, ghosts attacking people, and Laia now the leader of the Resistance, like we came a looong way. And I enjoyed every second of it. Anyway, back to Ember. My favorite scenes were the first introduction to Blackcliff (it just further encased me into the story and gave the readers a look into what cruelty Blackcliff is), the graduation scene (so much fucking euphoria and you can just imagine being there with Elias and Helene, hearing the crowd shouting and cheering and just feel the energy), the first nine pages of Elias during the Trial of Courage (makes me cry so much because this is where we really feel the regret and sorrow that Elias carries within him), the transition into the Trial of Cunning (THIS IS SUCH A STELLAR TRANSITION, like you could see the entire scene shift into the trial and it’s so fucking good), the Moon Festival (I mean, how can this not be anyone’s favorite scene when this is where we get the first wholesome and cute interactions between Laia and Elias, and excuse me, we would all love to know what Elias said to Laia in Sadhese), Helene healing Laia (this entire scene is so sad because Laia thinks she’s dying when she’s really not, and just her realization of what was happening, and also this is like an intimate moment between the two), Helene challenges Elias to a duel (the way this scene was written was so beautiful, and also the feeling of being so in sync with someone’s movements and thoughts is perfectly captured within this scene), the Trial of Strength (need I say why? It just brings me so much pain and makes me cry, and I miss you, Demetrius. You deserved better), Elias and Laia being stuck in Elias’s room overnight (the connection they have and this is where they have their first kiss), Cook’s story (the entire scene just gives me ‘almost empty diner while it’s raining outside’ vibes), and the Commandant’s visit to Elias (the first and really only interaction between the two that is filled with so much emotion and heartache for Elias).
Onto Torch! I always forget how sad and action packed this book is. I think it’s just that my burning rage and anger for Keenan overrides my memory that I forget the emotional journey our main three characters go through. But we get Helene’s POV! During my first read, I wasn’t sure if I would care for Helene’s chapters but now they are my absolute favorite. We also get that fucking line “You are my temple. You are my priest. You are my prayer. You are my release.” AND IT WILL FOREVER BE THE BEST LINE TO EVER EXIST. Really loved the sibling dynamic between Helene and her sisters, though it wasn’t a lot, I still loved it and it was relatable. Okay, but favorite scenes are: Elias and the Commandant’s fight (I’m just a sucker for really good written fighting scenes between two skilled fighters), Cain showing Helene the burned Illustrian house (this scene begins to make Helene question the Empire and what it stands for) the storyteller’s stage aka Mamie Rila starts a riot (the way Mamie Rila builds and builds with her story is magnificent, and you can feel the buzzing in the crowds and see the whole scene go down), Helene and Elias’s goodbyes (my heartaches so much for them because they are best friends and have been through so much together but they are tore apart and this is such an emotional scene because Helene doesn’t know that Elias is gonna die), when Laia tells Elias that she’s sorry for what happened to his family (the intimacy between them is so intense and you can feel the sorrow and guilt Laia feels along with Elias’s grief, god, it’s a good scene), Elias goes to say goodbye to Laia in the wagon (because of THAT line, it is perfection in all its glory), the black guard barracks scene with Helene and Avitas (Helene continues to question her love and honor for the Empire after witnessing the Commandant kill innocent Scholars, also we start to see Avitas for who he actually is and we start to feel the bond between Helene and Avitas form, and they also have a heart to heart talk about Elias), Helene at the Paters’ dinner (Helene is finally coming into her true form of being Blood Shrike and it’s amazing to see), the mention of Elias going to the cave (when you really think about it, it’s so goddamn sad), Laia and Avitas talk about Elias (the way everyone just loves Elias is so great), Helene helps Laia (their friendship is starting to form, ahhhhhhh).
Now for Reaper! I’m really surprised with how many people were dissatisfied with this one because it’s my favorite out of the three out right now. I think it’s because the characters are finally gaining confidence in who they are (not really Elias, he’s on another sad sad journey that ends with me crying). Also, probably because there’s really no annoying love triangle stuff in this, and I hate love triangles so much. I don’t know, it’s just that this book is so much grander and everything that happens is so climatic. Anyway, my favorite scenes are: the entire beginning scene in that abandoned house (the fact that we had to wait two years before this book came out and we got this amazing scene with all three main characters, after they were away from each other for so long was soooo worth the wait, also Elias and Helene with their first kind of conversation after not seeing each other so long, the way he was the only one who hadn’t called her Blood Shrike but then he calls her that, RUINED ME, Avitas letting Laia go, Laia and Helene’s very brief heart to heart about grieving, amazing beginning scene, really), every subtle flirtation between Avitas and Helene (because it’s sprinkled here and there and I LOVE IT and it’s so cute and natural and just amazing, especially that closet scene “you smell... not unpleasant” and when Helene gets dressed in front of Avitas and they have a little back forth, like god, just say that you guys like each other), Elias giving Laia the armlet (he’s so shy about it and it’s so goddamn wholesome and cute), Helene and Marcus visit the Augur’s cave/temple (Cain puts Helene in her place, basically tells her to check her privilege, like yes!), basically every scene with Musa (because he’s just the best, he’s hilarious, he’s my favorite type of character where they have a humorous upfront but they’re a sad person on the inside, also one of the most logical characters in this series), that steamy scene with Elias and Laia (I mean, obviously, but also, ended in a way that I was not expecting, also I’m waiting for the moment when Elias tells Laia what he told her the night in the wagon before he left her because when that moment comes, I will forever cry but also I don’t know if it’s gonna come in a super romantic scene or a super sad scene because it can go either way and I’m nervous about it), Elias finds out what happened to the jinn (this shows the true greatness that is this series because it blurs the lines of ‘who’s the real bad guy?’ and it’s makes this series all the more complex), Helene brings back the fleet (a great fucking scene, and it’s so atmospheric), Laia goes to meet the King of Adisa (Laia showing her great power and leadership, also we learn of Nikla and Musa and again, would love a story about them), Helene heals Avitas (it’s pretty clear in this scene that he really really likes Helene and it’s such a great confirmation scene), the entire ending battle scene (because Elias arrives and Helene thinks that he came back to save them but then he leaves and it breaks my heart, Livia gives birth, Marcus dies, the Nightbringer taking Helene’s mask, Helene thinking she was going to die alone and with so much regret, Laia and Cook coming to save Helene, Cook sacrificing herself, and everything about this last scene was such an emotional rollercoaster and I was sobbing my heart out), Helene and Avitas’s kiss (I LOVED IT because the emotions and feelings were laid out but then Helene had to shut herself out and I’m sad, I will also forever cry when Helene finally lets Avitas say her heart’s name because it’ll be so beautiful and again, it can go either way with this being a super romantic scene or a super sad scene), Helene and Laia’s last conversation (WE WILL FINALLY GET THE FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN THESE TWO THAT I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR).
Okay but my predictions for SKY: I think that Elias will use what he knows of the Wisp which is Keris’s mother to help Laia and Helene and the gang defeat Keris. Someone important is going to die and if it’s any of the main three or Avitas or Musa or Afya, I’m gonna cry so hard and for so long because no. Elias and Laia will have a happy ending because Elias found a way not to be Soul Catcher anymore and they can live the life they have been dreaming. As for Helene and Avitas, Helene is too stubborn to ever acknowledge her feelings for Avitas and what had happened, but it bothers her too much and too often so that she’ll confess her feelings and allow her to feel love, and Avitas will be there for her. I suck at making predictions but these are mine and please, I just want a happy ending for Laia, Elias, and Helene.
This has been long but if you made it this far, thank you!
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warm-starlight · 4 years
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Hey! I'm kinda new here and I found your blog liable for asking this. Why do some eruris on twitter keep pushing Levi and Erwin's relationship was on a whole other level than Levi and Hanji's? That's not true in my opinion. What do you think?
Erwin is a man who gave Levi an opportunity to a new life and a new purpose after he has lost everything (which also is partially Erwin's fault, for which he didn't show much remorse, and it happened again later but i won't be getting into that one..). Erwin is also a man Levi started admiring and chose to follow or "Ackerbonded" with. I think this "Ackerbond" is the culprit of why people hyperbolize their relationship so largely as "Levi only cares about Erwin and no one else". Meanwhile some of the same people turn around and shit on Mikasa for being attached to Eren.
Isayama caller Erwin Levi's good friend which is sort of portrayed in the manga in some instances (them casually chatting when Erwin was on the sick bed is one example. Levi trying to stop him from going to the battlefield before RtS). Levi also makes sure he honors his promise after Erwin's death, much like Jean strives to Honor Marco's memory.
In my oppinion, the only way Hanji and Levi's relationship is different from Levi's and Erwin's is really just the Ackerbond (and i am Happy about it tbh. I am Happy Levi is not bound to Hanji in this way.). Hanji also changed Levi's life in her own way. She was the first person to accept him for who he is and approach him and his friends with selfless kindness and good faith. Isayama implied Hanji thinks of Levi as her best friend. Levi never denied it either (in that additional drawing he just says "I see.." which is a very "Levi" response haha). Levi and Hanji are very familliar and close in the way they interact. They also care deeply for one another.
The thing is Levi and Hanji were never in a situation like Levi was with Erwin. I am talking about the serumbowl here and people Love talking about the strong emotions Levi expressed during that time and assuming if it was Hanji it wouldn't be the same. But they completely forgot Levi stopping midbattle to make sure Hanji is ok and will get help when her shoulder got injured and how Pissed he was after it happened or how he was so worried about her (and the others) in RtS that he almost got hit by the rain of rocks.
And in return both Erwin and Hanji were ready to abandon their duty for Levi too in a way. Erwin, upon hearing Levi is about to sacrifice his life so they could escape, brought up the suicide plan, Hanji upon seeing his injuries abandoned her duties as a Commander and jumped into the river with him, without knowing if she will survive. So we can safely say he is also very important to them.
What i am saying is these people are extremely biased when comparing Levi's relationship with Erwin and his relationship with Hanji. They also take all the extra material and interviews as a fact when it comes to Erwin and Levi, but then ignore or deny ones where Hanji's and Levi's friendship is described.
Levi, Hanji and Erwin were a trio and all of them shared Equally deep friendship imo. Weather you see it as platonic or romantic doesn't really matter.
Thanks for the ask.
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rae-gar-targaryen · 4 years
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how would u cast your mutuals as sw/pedro characters? ur gorg btw
First of all, THANK YOU for the compliment. You are VERY sweet. 
I am honored to be the recipient of this PARTICULAR ask because I’ve seen other blogs in the Pedro corner of this hellsite get similar asks, and I never thought I’d get to be part of it. I don’t consider myself a particularly loud voice in our little corner, so this really is appreciated. 
Before I get started, I want to say that I in NO WAY intend to leave ANYONE out. I do not intentionally or knowingly exclude anyone, nor would I.  It's probably just as simple as we haven’t talked as much and I don’t want to miscast. f we’re mutuals, and you want to know which Pedro I think you are, PLEASE send me an ask. This is meant to be fun and not exclusionary. I love each and every one of you SO MUCH. 
Let’s do it:
1. @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa​ is OBERYN. Could it BE anyone else?? Katryn and I first bonded over Oberyn, and her depth of knowledge and understanding of the character (as well as Ellaria) really just proves the point-- Oberyn is full of depth and passion. He writes poetry, for god’s sake. He’s creative, as Katryn is creative. He cares about his family and his children above all else and is compassionate. Katryn has that compassion with her life and with her job. Also, snarky bisexual powerhouses for the WIN. Katryn is Oberyn. 
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2. @rzrcrst​ is EZRA. She said it herself the other day-- she and Ezra are SO similar. I agree. The depth of feeling with which Kenzie communicates is on par, if not greater, than that of Ezra’s. They are both wordsmiths through and through, avid readers, appreciators of nature. Not to mention, they are both caregivers. Kenzie is a mother, and Ezra is paternal with Cee. Ezra is passionate, intense, well-spoken, and beautiful. That’s Kenzie to a “T.” Kenzie is Ezra. 
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3. @qveenbvtch​ can she BE anyone else BUT JAVIER? Eryn is cunning, resourceful, hilarious, and outspoken. She is Javier. Where Javier has a strong profile, Eryn’s cheekbones could CUT GLASS. Javier has vintage flair with his style (hello, 80s), and so does Eryn. She always looks AMAZING. Eryn is one of THE most quick-witted people I have had the pleasure of befriending on here. Javier’s job is one where you have to be quick on your feet. Also, I think both Eryn and Javier have excellent taste in booze and aesthetics. Eryn is Javier. 
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4. @zeldasayer​ -- Don’t take this the wrong way, and LET ME FINISH. But ZELDA is MAXWELL LORD. Even though the movie hasn’t come out yet, our corner of the fandom has painted Max as someone who strives for greatness, who appreciates the finer things in life, who has excellent taste, and is intellectually ruthless. That’s ZELDA. She has amazing taste, aesthetically and otherwise. She is clearly the type of person to demand and achieve excellence. She has a dreamy quality that I feel like Maxwell would value. She has a rapier wit. Not to mention, Maxwell in the comics? He’s POWERFUL. He has the powers of persuasion. Zelda has a powerful presence, is well-spoken and has a MAGNETISM that I think we’ve all recognized in Max. 
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5. @forever-rogue​ is FRANKIE. Patricia has a beautiful soul, a creative streak, and an amazing mind. She is Frankie. Catfish has to be tactically brilliant to have his job, and he needs to be technically savvy. Patricia is a doer that way-- she's an amazing contributor within this fandom, her stories are dreamy and beautiful. She is someone who will be there when you need her (we’ve reminisced about being in the same field and the challenges that has) and she is never at a loss for a kind word, all while being tough as hell. Patricia is Frankie. 
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6. @winters-buck​ is Max Phillips. Hear me OUT---- Ash is bitingly clever and witty. Ash can talk you into any one of her ideas, which she will bounce off of you at ALL HOURS. She is a nonstop source of fun and energy (not in the obnoxious way that salesman Max is), rather the bright side of that trait. Ash is endlessly kind and driven in a way that I feel like Max would appreciate. She is hot as hell with good hair and a wickedly sharp mind. Ash is Max. 
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7. @cosmicbug379​ is Marcus Pike. Kylie has a sweet and friendly quality that I think is 100 percent PURE Marcus. Kylie is creative, thoughtful, hilarious, and kind. Marcus is the kind of man who values people’s genuine character, to feel genuine love. That’s Kylie. Have you READ her writing? She writes beautiful Faramir, an empathetic and underappreciated character. It’s that level of empathy, attention to detail, and beautiful loquaciousness that makes me think that Kylie is Marcus.  
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8. @mythologicalmango​ I know she’s not really into the Pedro stuff as much, but she puts up with all of my shitposting. And when I think of Rachel, I think of DIN DJARIN aka The Mandalorian. Din is strong, unafraid of adversity, but unfailingly kind. That’s Rachel. Rachel faced down a daunting move this year like it was no big deal. She jumps into adventure, is a lover of reading and learning, and has a strong compassionate streak and a sense of justice. Rachel loves a good Victorian romance, and Din Djarin barely lets a sliver of wrist show. That’s why Rachel is Din Djarin. 
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9. @californiakoenig Grace is AGENT WHISKEY. Now, not the canon asswipe who sells out at the end. I’m talking about the smooth, beautiful human who loves the people he cares about deeply and looks amazing while kicking mad ass. Grace is an amazing writer who is endlessly supportive. The side of Jack that we get in Kingsman who is driven, cares about people enough to get into a job where he saves lives, and is capable of deep compassion is why I believe Grace is Whiskey. Anyone who’s read her writing knows she’s amazingly intelligent and compassionate-- just like Jack. (Although Javier would also work for her).
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If I can also throw STAR WARS Characters in here:
@mpanighetti​ is CASSIAN ANDOR. He knows why. 
@atwentywhore​ is POE DAMERON-- adventurous, unafraid, beautiful. 
@mount--cleverest​ is CAPTAIN PHASMA. A badass, blonde bombshell.
@andallthatmishigas PRINCESS LEIA. WHO ELSE?? A paragon who was born to lead and look beautiful while doing it. 
@nappingtopknot is Boba Fett, a hot badass who kicks ass. 
AND NONE FOR DAVE YORK, GOODBYE!
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maddhatterreviews · 5 years
Text
Sasha’s path in season 2
Y'know, I didn't mean for this kinda thing to be the focus of this blog. I wanted to primarily talk about video games and maybe bring up comics and movies every once in a while. I had no intention of turning this into a cartoon discussion blog, but this is where we are, so let's talk about Amphibia.
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Amphibia is a new Disney Channel cartoon about three young girls being transported to a world of talking frogs. The series follows only one of the girls, Anne, who was taken in by a family of Frogs named the Plantars, as she tries to find a way back home. It's basically one of the few Western Isaki shows. 
For reasons known only to the mad and the divine, Disney decided to air the entire season all at once; with a new episode every day for five weeks. So the finale's already come and gone. And it was quite a ride. After spending months in the small village of Wartwood, Anne is finally reunited with her best friend from Earth, Sasha...Only to find out Sasha came to Wartwood with an army of toads. 
The toads actually trick all of Wartwood in come to their homebase just to kill Hop Pop for inadvertently starting a rebellion by standing up to the toads that have come to Wartwood over the course of the season. 
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As the series goes on, Sasha is revealed to be a pretty terrible person. Manipulating and coercing Anne to do things she didn’t want to on Earth, and teaching Grime to do the same to his soldiers so they’ll fight harder for him. The plan to trick Wartwood was actually her’s. 
But at the end, Anne finally stands up to Sasha, frees Hop Pop and Wartwood, and destroys the Toad Tower. (Although she didn’t actually want that to happen and one of the less stable frogs planted explosives against her orders not to do so) 
The Tower going down causes Sasha to almost fall from the roof and Anne and the Planters try to save her. Even though, like I said, Sasha came up with the plan to kill Hop Pop in the first place. Sasha seeing the Plantars doing so much to save Anne makes her realize she’s been a shitty friend, and her actions have directly put her friend in mortal danger. 
It’s interesting that, despite seemingly taking advantage of Anne for most, if not the entirety of their relationship, it’s made very clear that Sasha does genuinely care about Anne’s wellbeing and happiness. She just thinks she knows better than Anne on what that actually is and forces her to do things she wouldn’t want to do ordinarily. But as they are dangling from the top of the tower, Sasha has a moment of clarity; realizing being a real friend means putting your own feelings aside for the sake of your friend. Saying to Anne, “Maybe you’re better off without me.”
And to atone for everything she’s done to Anne, especially in the last few hours, Sasha let’s herself fall so the Plantars can pull Anne to safety. 
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Really think about that. A thirteen year old girl was willing to let herself die after realizing what a shitty person she is. But the thing that makes this particular plot point interesting, is that Sasha doesn’t die. 
I mean she’s a child and this is Disney, there was no way Sasha was going to die, especially in the first season. So Grime comes out of fucking nowhere and saves her. And before walking away with the rest of his Toad army, he gives Anne a dirty look, unquestioningly think that Anne THREW her off the tower. See, just like Sasha actually cares about Anne despite how she treats her, Grime cares about Sasha despite being a tyrannical warlord. 
So, like I said, the season finale was a bit of a ride. It ends with Anne emotionally drained after seeing her oldest friend almost dying for her, and fairly certain that nothing will ever be the same between them. But fully prepared to venture outside of Wartwood with the Plantars to find a way home. 
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Anne’s path forward is pretty firmly established, but the big question is where Sasha will go from here. The most hopeful course of action would be for Sasha to take the revelations she’s experienced to heart and strive to be a better person. Leaving Grime and the toads to reunite with Anne and the Plantars on more humble and peaceful terms. And had this series come out when I was a kid, I’d expect this to be the how everything would play out. But this is a Post-Avatar world we’re living in. It’s not out of the ordinary any more for cartoons aimed at kids to take darker turns in it’s storytelling. 
Speaking of Avatar, I feel like Sasha may go through a similar situation as Zuko at the end of Book two when he freed Appa to help Aang, doing something that went against the very core of who he was as a person. Sasha doing something so uncharacteristically selfless as letting herself die for Anne when their relationship up until that point was so monumentally one sided, it will undoubtedly result in the same existential crisis that Zuko went through. Though...maybe not with the day long coma and the fever dreams. 
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But while Zuko at his core was a good person, doing morally questionable thing because of a misguided sense of honor and a desire to get back in his abusive father’s good graces. Sasha, at least at present, doesn’t seem like a good person. Being manipulative and amoral, with her only real redeeming quality being her genuine friendship with Anne. And well...Anne and Sasha aren’t exactly friends anymore. 
The main reason Sasha sided with Grime was because of a promise for the toads to help her find Anne and their other friend Marcie, who by the end of the season is still missing. But not only does Sasha not seem to take any issue with the fucked up things Grime wants to do, she’s the one who came up with the plan to murder Hop Pop for a purpose she has absolutely no stake in. She has no reason to help the Toads keep their iron grip on the Valley, but she does it anyway, and even takes advantage of the trust Anne has garnered from the frogs of Wartwood to set her trap in the first place. 
So while Sasha face-heeling would make sense in the context of realizing she’s been a cunt to her best friend, it would make just as much sense for Sasha to double down on her actions and gradually becomes a worse and worse person as the story goes on. 
It’s also a factor that now Grime knows how to better manipulate people thanks to Sasha. It would make sense for Grime to twist the events of the finale to frame Sasha in the right, and lead her to continue on her already set path, and preface all the terrible things she continues to do as the ends justifying the means. Yes, she’s hurting innocent people, but if it means getting Anne and Marcie back to Earth in one piece, she’s willing to do it. She may not like who she’s becoming, but if it’s for her friends it’s worth it. 
In this sense, Sasha learns from her near death experience that a friend should give of themselves, and do things you may not want to for the sake of your friend. The problem comes in how she goes about that. To her, Grime and the Toads are the best chance she has to find a way back home, so it’d be easy for her to rationalize continuing to work for them. She may not like what she’s doing anymore, but she’s doing it for Anne and Marcie. 
There’s also the thematic element of setting Anne and Sasha up as character foils to take into account. Anne started off as selfish and a bit of a brat, but through the various adventures she’s had with Sprig and the various other frogs of Wartwood, she’s grown as a person and become more thoughtful and compassionate. She’s actually saved the town more than once during the three months she’s been in Amphibia, and it all culminates in the penultimate episode of the season, Anne of the Year. Where all of Wartwood celebrates how far Anne has come since she arrived. 
Sasha, on the other hand, was held captive by the Toads for months until she helped Grime protect their tower from giant Herons and taught him how to get the best out of his subordinates with empty flattery. When Grime give Sasha the offer to become his second in command she relishes the idea of gaining enough power to basically do whatever she wanted. 
The longer they stayed in Amphibia Anne became more of a hero, while Sasha became more of a villain. Anne will most likely continue to grow as a person, and the more she and the Plantars explore the Valley, especially with the whole “Hop Pop is the face the rebellion” plotline, there is almost certainly going to more instances where Anne will have to defend more towns from Grime’s army. Spreading stories of the strange, tall, gangly creature with a sword standing up against the Toads. While also putting her in direct conflict with Grime and Sasha. 
Is Sasha still going to fight Anne to save Anne? Will she come to the decision that the best what to keep Anne safe until she can find a way home is to keep her prisoner? After all the only reason Anne was in danger at Toad Tower was because she left her sight. 
And what if Sasha decides Grime isn’t doing enough to figure out how to get her home, and takes control of the Toad army away from him. I mean the toads already like her more than Grime, it wouldn’t be that hard for Sasha to convince them to make her their leader despite her age. And as he’s being led away to be either exiled or executed, Sasha says to him, “I bet you wish you hadn’t save now.”
Am I seriously suggesting Disney make a cartoon where a teenage girl both becomes the main villain and develops a death wish?
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When Sasha let go of Anne’s hand at the top of the tower, she wasn’t just willing to die, she was expecting to die. Grime saving her means she’ll have to deal with that...and for a thirteen year old girl, that’s not going to be easy. It’s going to fuck her up emotionally and mentally, and it’ll only get worse if she does go full darkside. 
A huge wild card in the story is Marcie. So far we don’t know where she is, what she’s doing, how she’s going to be introduced. There is basically no information on this character or what her relationship with Anne and Sasha is. We know she was the one who brought the Music Box to Sasha and Anne’s attention, and she was probably just as manipulative as Sasha is. But since we don’t know what Marcie’s been going through, we don’t know how she’ll react to the changes in both Anne and Sasha or if she’ll side with one, the other, or stay as an independent entity. 
Amphibia is a surprisingly good show so far. Which isn’t too surprising considering the guy who made it also worked on Gravity Falls. It will be a matter of time before we can say with any kind of confidence that it will be remembered as one of the highlights of modern cartoons...but it seems like a safe bet. Especially with how the first season ended and what it sets up. It’s entirely possible I’m talking out of my ass on this one. Nothing that I proposed will come to be, and Sasha will just become one of the good guys. But the fact that Amphibia built it’s characters so well I could have this kind of discussion and not have it seem like absolute bullshit, that’s saying something. This show has a lot of potential. And I can’t wait to see where it goes from here.
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revasser-destiny · 4 years
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Hello! This is a question for the muse! Do you have any tips on creating an identity v oc?
This is a huge honor as I am considered to be the craziest person for creating ocs (according to Ems), so please allow me to introduce to the workshop-
Creating a IDV OC is quite difficult as you don't want them to come off as a Mary/Gary Sue without weaknesses, but you also want to make sure they sparkle in their most unique way! Brainstorming is one way to not overstress over the creation of an OC because you can always go back to it and make changes when needed. Here's an example~
These two ladies are from my other blog, @idv-ask-fragmentsofhappiness , and as you can see, there are little notes next to their first designs. These notes were made after I decided on their item, and little notations helped me with their buffs and debuffs! For example, Hala is going to carry presents of importance 24/7 and she needs to be careful with them so she vaults slower. Shiroi, on the other hand, vaults slower because she isn't used to being active on the whim.
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Don't forget to brainstorm occupations that can affect the oc's personalities! Round 2 of examples~
@askidv-thelovers @stitchedstatic @idv-missionary @suns-wack-idv-ocs @ask-themaid-idv @idvthepatient
Belle is a wonderful example of personality as before she was playing her lovely viola/violin, she was our fabulous Barmaiden. She was an alcoholic with withdrawal probelms, but when it was announced that Demi was going to be the Barmaid, Belle transformed into an amazing violinist and though she is still somewhat an alcoholic, she is now recovering. Beautiful transition and storytelling - please, I need more lore Dal XD ♡
Another great example is Static's infamous chaotic duo, the Broadcaster and the Surgeon. Both tread the same story, but on opposite islands you can say. Alec is a well known broadcaster by his name "Alex" instead of his real name and fell in love with a hardworking woman striving to become a surgeon. Marriage seemed to be the icing on the cake, but then it was cut and shown to be poisonous. Nikola started to "fix" her patients in a series of numbering operations, and nearly succeeded when her husband told the world about her "kindness." Feeling betrayed, she carved the number 9 on Alec and hopes to fix him with Patient 08 someday. Okay, this is probably a terrible summary but the story is really intriguing and displays a lot of thought put into it. While sometimes information is shared behind the curtains, it is still seen that each side has their reasons and personal baggage for what they did. I would like to smite the bad people in their lives, pls *holds butterknife*
Okay, this one is a personal favorite and I won't spoil his story just yet because I want to respect his creator, the loveable Fluff. His story circles around the topic of religion and as seen by a few asks, it appears that Oliver does not get along with Fiona (and Eli - I might have to read it again dhdhd). With the addition of Ash (I will personally make him suffer), I just feel like the story is getting even more lullling in my opinion. The overall design and personality fit together like a PB and J sandwich! ♡
There are many ocs here, but each one has my personal love for them. Not only do they have wonderful stories (again, not spoiling them) and amazing personalities, but the fact that interactions with them could be fun or interesting (not saying that other ask blogs can't do this, interacting with Sun just has me giggling and wheezing 24/7)
I have so many words, but I don't know how to say them so I'll just say this. Extraordinary. The design wise of the Maid is just *blows a kiss into the air* a rose, and her personality is just something I resonate with a little bit. Her story is a wondrous journey (im uh,,, still trying to catch up dhdhdhs) and I really suggest checking this person out. The mun has an amazing story right now and it would be better if you checked her out because I can't put this love into words.
This is another piece of advice that I carried with me along the way, and I hope it helps you as you design an OC. Get Feedback. I know that there are times where you share your oc in their early drafts and ask for feedback, only to receive comments such as "they're so bad, why are you even trying" or "this is garbage, delete this". I can't tell you it won't happen as it did commence for me, but this is a little trick I have for getting past that. Knowing which opinions actually helps and being surrounded by people who want to help you. This is an important part of designing a IDV OC because you want them to fit in the universe and feel great about them! Surrounding yourself with people who lift you up to that goal is one sometimes many souls forget. And the feedback of others should be helpful critiques, not plain out hate comments! Here's an example
Good Critique vs Hateful "Critiques"
Good Critque Example : luckyninibirb - "I like how she's fleshed out to be a supporter, but I feel like one of her traits is overpowered due to the fact that she can pretty dodge the hunter at any time."
Hateful "Critique" Example: luckyninibirb - "She's such a mary sue! Are you even trying to make a good oc? Or is this just a joke?"
Oh! It's okay if your character has personal flaws and their backstory is simple or complex. It'll just make them sparkle out more actually! This is pretty much all I have to give right now. You're welcome to come in my DMs if you need anything, and don't feel scared to ask the other ask blogs for help! Thanks for asking! ♡
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arcanalogue · 5 years
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On Keeping Important Things To Yourself, Or: ‘The Revelation Will Not Be Instagrammed’
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I had a really profound experience this past weekend, while staying out in the desert with friends. In fact, it was the kind I might even capitalize: a Profound Experience!
(Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell you about it!)
Naturally though, I cataloged the entire thing, writing notes to myself so I wouldn’t forget a single detail. And before we’d even returned home, I was well into the “research” phase of the Profound Experience, tumbling down Wikipedia rabbit-holes in search of terminology, precedents, areas of overlap with others’ Profound Experiences, established traditions that might explain what had happened and (perhaps most importantly) tell me what to do about it. 
It’s an exhilarating feeling, that research phase, uncovering the vastly interconnected nature of our history, our cultures, our entire reality. You can’t just pull one thread, the whole fabric comes with it. Before the internet, this would have taken weeks. 
But even after a couple days of trying to pin this Experience down, I was getting tired and frustrated. I’d only spent a few minutes having the Experience in the first place, and now I’d gorged myself on all this additional context. It was began keeping me from being able to recall the Experience purely, as it had happened. Why was I doing this to myself??
Fortunately, in my groping I stumbled across this article about the Tao Te Ching, which commented:
"’The unnameable is the eternally real. Naming is the origin of all particular things.’ The second line of Mitchell's translation opens up the nature of the dysfunction. We're accustomed to perceiving our world and all the objects in it by naming them. But what if we stop obsessively naming everything and instead just — pardon me while I slip in to full on hippy mode for a moment — rest in awareness?
What the Tao Te Ching does, time and time again, is attempt to show us how we might see things if we could spend more time in awareness, and less in naming. ‘Practice not-doing, and everything will fall into place.’"
To my tired brain, reading this felt like cool water splashed across a hot sidewalk, making it passable for tender bare feet. (I grew up in the desert, I’m not just a tourist!)
So I closed all of my Wikipedia tabs, and went for a walk outside in the afternoon sunshine. I wanted to see if I could feel the Experience, become illuminated by it once again, even faintly, and grasp its truth just as closely, just as palpably, simply by relaxing my focus instead of straining toward it. 
Not only was this successful, but walking with this glow unexpectedly reminded me of my ultimate purpose as a diviner. 
We find messages. We find meanings. That is the work of a diviner. We must always strive to embody that quality, whether we’re searching on behalf of ourselves or others. 
I find messages. I find meanings. Not everybody does, but I do, and always have. Powerful words and images make their way to me, as if by magic. Interpreting them is something that comes after; first you have to find them, recognize them. 
Messages don’t always come with a calling card or ingredients list attached. It’s not always clear who or what is speaking, or whether the face we see is a mask worn by something else. It probably is! Just assume it is. 
But we care about getting these things right, about being in harmony with all the forces out there which are greater than ourselves (which is nearly everything, kids). And the part of our mind that’s anchored to this world, this time and place, craves to know things and do things. Without something to know or to do, we can get very restless and grumpy indeed.
And have you noticed? There’s a tendency among mystical types to attempt speaking with authority, to draw oneself up to an impressive (yet still #humble) height and declare: “I am a practitioner of [insert tradition here], and/or a worshiper of [insert entity], who speaks to/through me.” There are certainly material benefits to behaving this way. Certainty confers trust, and trust leads to faith, and faith — whether in a belief or a person — is a lucrative business. 
This is why we spiritual and occult weirdos (especially white folks, most of whom weren’t born into a tradition that provides context for our Profound Experiences) end up relentlessly sniffing out the pedigree of our own gnosis, sort of like how Mormon moms go overboard with geneaology. 
The message itself ends up tucked away a drawer, almost secondary to the quest for unassailable authority in determining its authorship, which also ultimately determines its audience. But... and I ask this sincerely... who cares?
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I’m not faulting this instinct of ours. How could it be otherwise? We’re a bunch of lonely, hallucinating apes who want to feel understood. Which is why I try not to look askance at others’ work, or weigh my methods or Experiences against theirs. What would be the point? 
I feel the same way about labels related to magical practice. There are times when we urgently feel the need to name ourselves, claim a title that we can then labor to live up to. But almost immediately we discover the limitations of these labels. I love thinking of myself as a witch... so many enticing connotations! Right up to the moment when someone else refers to me as a witch, and then I feel the seriousness and specificity of what I’m attempting is undermined, since “witch” and “witchcraft” can be applied to nearly anyone and anything. I’m more than this word, dammit. At times, I’m something else altogether. 
But the word itself isn’t the problem, the act of naming is. 
Consider this post is a message in a bottle to you, whomever may be reading. Just as there is power in naming things, there can be even greater power in NOT naming things. This is the meatiest kernel of truth contained in the Powers of the Sphinx, that old chestnut of Western occultism: “To Know, To Dare, To Will, and To Keep Silent.” 
Silence is a necessary component of reflection, and reflection is a necessary component of divination.
One of the things I’ve discovered along this journey is that the qualities that make a good diviner don’t necessarily lend themselves to crafting an exciting or successful web/social media presence. We end up performing what we know, polishing our thoughts and expressions into nice, glossy, digestible packages. That’s a useful skill to have! But it’s also a short leap from there to only valuing the kinds of experiences that lend themselves to being shared, slowly grooming oneself to only have the kinds of thoughts that can be expressed through these media.
It’s a mindfuck, dear reader.
I want would-be diviners to know that it’s possible to hear a call, and answer it, without ever putting pen to paper, without plugging words into a search engine. It’s written on your heart, where nothing is ever truly forgotten. You can honor this experience by sitting with it, or expressing it through your deeds, without ever having to explain or justify it to anyone. 
And a reminder: just as it’s valuable to inspire and draw inspiration from others, your own Profound Experiences mustn’t end up being constrained to whatever you can manage to broadcast to others in words or pixels. If you’re struggling with that, consider keeping it to yourself for a while so it can distill and speak to you more deeply. As Kahlil Gibran wrote:
“And in much of your talking, thinking is half murdered. For thought is a bird of space, that in a cage of words may indeed unfold its wings but cannot fly.”
The irony of blogging about this isn’t lost on me, so I’m doubling down and including some pics from last weekend. Did you know people are far more likely to engage with your content when they can see your face? 
😐
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