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kookiebunnii · 4 years

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d4u || c’s get degrees

sept. 2018. this is my first time having a class with guk. we like to make bets on things to satisfy jungkook’s competitive instinct and the reward is usually food-related. i guess this quarter will be no different.

pairing: bestfriend!jungkook x reader

genre: slice of life

word count: 2.4k

warnings: n/a

sept. 2018

If there was one thing Jungkook loved, it was competition. You still remember the phase where he’d respond “bet” to anything you said, even if it made no sense.

Let’s have Chinese takeout for dinner. Bet.

Don’t forget your keys like you did last time. Bet.

If you say “bet” one more time, I’ll throw your Widowmaker mousepad out the window. Bet.

He’d always be the one to suggest playing rock, paper, scissors for the last slice of pizza, betting that if a coin turns up heads then you would have to do the dishes tonight instead, or begging you to play some new video game with him so he could 1v1 you over a large sum of five dollars. Maybe it was the adrenaline he craved or the fact that he could rarely find something he was not skilled at. However, after all the years he’s known you, he has realized that he’s finally met his match. You always watch uninterestedly as the coin lands on tails and Jungkook howls in pain over the kitchen sink. Similarly, you grew used to noncommittedly charging him $5.00 on Venmo as he repeatedly demands a rematch because the game was bugged or his character was lagging.

Perhaps the boy was known for being good at everything, but it seemed that luck was always on your side.

Breaking out of your reverie, you watch as Jungkook dashes across the apartment in search for something. While you spread Nutella over a piece of lightly browned toast, your eyes follow his frantic movements in amusement. Biting into your breakfast for the day, you hum happily as the chocolate-y flavor spreads across your tongue.

“What are you looking for e-boy?” you ask before taking a sip of the milk in your cup.

“I can’t find my penny board…have you seen it?” he starts opening all the cupboards one by one, as if his skateboard would be in the kitchen shelf next to the canned spam.

“I hid it,” you casually state, hiding your grin behind a nibble of toast.

He stops in his tracks, looking you dead in the eye before calmly replying, “And why would you do that?”

Brushing the crumbs from your fingertips onto your plate, you skip past him to respond in a chirpy tone, “Every time you used that cursed thing you’ve come back with a new cut or scrape. We’re running out of my favorite Hello Kitty band-aids, so I’ve decided you need a break from your precious board.”

He seems to be ready to retort something back in response, but with one look at his right arm he’s forced to agree that maybe he should rely on his own two legs for the next week or two. Huffing indignantly, he grabs the other piece of toast you’ve left for him on the plate and begins spreading generous amounts of the hazelnut spread while you get ready for class.

Surprisingly, you and Jungkook have the same class this quarter on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Since the two of you were different majors, you never really discussed schedules with him and only ever really asked about his classes to know when you should expect him to be at home. However, it turns out that this class in question is notorious for being an easy pick to fulfill a GE requirement all students had to complete for graduation, so you couldn’t say it was a complete surprise that the two of you were simultaneously enrolled.

Minutes later, you cover your mouth as you yawn at the doorway, watching Jungkook sling his backpack over his shoulder. He freezes, mumbling something that you assume is a list of all the things he needed for the day to ensure that he doesn’t forget anything.

As he does this mental recital, you reach up and smooth out some hair sticking up at the top of his head. He’s rather tall, so you do your best to tip-toe and ensure that the gel in his hair is adequately spread over his brown locks to make him look as presentable as possible—which you admit must be tough for the poor gel product. He flicks you gently on the forehead as soon as he notices you holding in your laughter over this thought.

“I know you’re thinking something funny about me again. Stop.”

You give him your most innocent smile before heading out the door, slipping your earbuds in to listen to your regular “commute tunes” playlist.

After the short bus ride, he gently bumps into your side to get your attention. You pull out your earbuds and give him a questioning look and soft shoulder bump of your own. Based on the mischievous look on his face, you knew that the premonition you had this morning about Jungkook’s competitiveness was a warning sign.

“Since we have the same class this quarter, how about we bet on who will get the higher grade?” he grins happily, his whole body seemingly lit with excitement.

“Are you sure, Mr. Film Studies major? This is a philosophy class,” you quip, watching as masses of students trickle around the two of you like slippery salmon in a never-ending stream.

“It’s not like you’d have an edge either Miss International Business major” he laughs, and you can hear the confident tone in his voice. Jungkook genuinely thinks he has a chance.

How cute.

Right before you two enter through the classroom door, you pull him aside. The confident way he leans back to look at you tells you that he knew you wouldn’t be able to reject his offer. You never backed down on his challenges, and that’s why he liked you so much.

“Loser treats winner to Korean BBQ,” you state plainly, casually glancing down at your phone to check the time. Two minutes before class starts.

“Sure.”

Satisfied, you head into class and look around for two empty seats that were side-by-side. It wasn’t a habit that you were used to, since you rarely had friends in your university courses. However, with Jungkook beside you, it felt like a natural and customary reaction to scan the room for two empty seats instead of one. It was like pulling out two plates for dinner every night, stopping at a bakery when your cravings hit to buy your favorite dessert and a slice of banana bread to-go, or sending him a meme as you scroll through Reddit that you knew would make him laugh. You were unconsciously conscious of him.

The weeks passed like a summer’s breeze, so enjoyable that you’re left awestruck until it’s over. You enjoyed dodging around Jungkook’s questions whenever he struggled with the homework, watching him nap on his notebook while you took lecture notes, and distracting him with text messages when you didn’t want to pay attention in class so that he wouldn’t be able to either. It was almost like high school again, back when you used to be able to spend time with him and mess around in class with the teacher being none the wiser. Before long, finals had come around and you were feeling a little nervous to say the least. Jungkook refused to tell you what he got on the midterm, and by extension his grade in the course, thereby keeping you in the dark. Your grade wasn’t terrible, but you knew that Jungkook wasn’t a complete dummy because he always performed well when he was focused. Free Korean BBQ could do that to a man.

“Do you want to study together?” you ask, finding him laying on the couch and playing a racing game on his phone. You watch as his round eyes focus on the screen intently, waiting for him to blink.

“Sure. I’m not helping you though.”

You laugh, bringing your face close enough that it was right above the phone in his hands. Making weird faces to distract him from his game, you reply, “As if. I’m just checking to see how behind you are in this class.”

He finishes and tosses his phone on the tabletop. Looking at you disinterestedly, he pinches one of your cheeks and gets up when you wiggle out of his grasp. It looks like he’s going to get his stuff, so you head into your own room to prepare your books for a productive study session.

One of the highlights of your university was its library. You always came here to study instead of studying at home or going to a café. Being at home was sometimes distracting, especially when you could hear Jungkook roasting his team over voice chat well into the late night. Given how much you were consuming at your new barista job, you also decided to avoid places with delicious pastries, lest you wanted more feelings of disappointment during your next weigh-in at the doctor’s.

Finding a table with space for two, you sit down and begin pulling all of your supplies out of your backpack. Your enjoyed studying with a particular organization of notes and texts, so you had your favorite animal post-its on hand. Using them to indicate the beginning of your lecture notes, you begin going through what you’ve written with a light yellow highlighter. After doing this for a few pages, you peek at Jungkook’s work to find him doodling in the margins.

Leaning over, you draw a cute stick figure pointing to Jungkook’s doodle in awe. To get the full effect, you include a speech bubble of the character saying “WOW!”

He smiles before giving your stick figure a gorgeous mustache and top hat.

Surprisingly, the two of you get a lot done that day. You expected to be consistently distracted, but Jungkook kept to himself whenever he was really focused. Maybe he was always like this with studies he was interested in, but either way you quite liked how focused he was being. His wide eyes were trained on the text in front of him as he absentmindedly tapped his pen against his cheek in thought. Once in a while the pen tilts dangerously close to his mouth, and as you catch him proceeding to take an unconscious bite of the cap, you pull his hand away in alarm.

“You have a habit of putting things in your mouth. Perhaps you’re into that, but for your health let’s not,” you chastise, pulling the pen out of his grasp and tapping him on the head with it.

Grinning, he proceeds to try and bite your shoulder. You almost screech in alarm at his attack before remembering that you’re in a very public library with students already taking notice of the way you were practically falling out of your chair in horror. Clearing your throat and straightening your jacket, you give Jungkook a dirty look before turning away to focus on your textbook again.

Finals turned out to be much easier than you anticipated, which matched up to the past experiences you’d gathered from previous students of the course. It was clear to you that you and Jungkook had over-studied, but what captured your interest with greater intensity was the final grade in the course. As you happily noted the bright 97.6% flashing back at you on the screen, you could practically taste the yummy samgyeopsal on your tongue. Guess what makes food even better? When it’s free!

You slide over to Jungkook’s room and peek inside, hoping he wasn’t in the middle of a game. Luck finds you again when you witness him exiting out of the League of Legends application on his setup and spinning around in his bright orange gamer chair to greet your new intrusion. He quickly pulls his headset off to hear you better, to which you respond by diving face-first onto his bed and rolling up in his blanket like Y/N burrito just to bother him. When he makes a sound of annoyance and begins prying the sheets off you, you know you’ve attained your goal and begin helping him unravel you.

“What do you want?” he prods you off the bed so he can redo his sheets.

“Have you seen your PHIL grade yet?” you begin pretend-boxing with his back as the punching bag. He doesn’t seem to like this very much either, because he quickly spins around and grabs onto your fists to stop you.

“I have. Guess you’re taking me to KBBQ tonight?” he tries to tickle you out of spite, but you know he’s in a good mood. You’re rarely this playful with him, preferring to silently annoy him or treat him more like a troublesome younger brother to look out for. But what can you say? A free dinner peaks your mood.

“What’d you get then smartass?”

He pretends to think for a bit with his hand on his chin, “You first.”

Confidently, you stand up to him and puff your chest out in pride while jabbing his chest with each digit that comes out of your mouth.

“97.6% baby. Anyways, there’s this new spot 15 minutes away Luce told me about, I think you should treat me there-”

“Hm, 97.7% here baby,” a smirk sliding easily across his features as he mocks your previous tone, “What was that about a new place?”

Wide-eyed, you demand to see his grade on the university’s portal page. There’s no way this slick kid managed to get a higher grade than you…especially by a tiny percentage point! He’s got to be joking, maybe betting that you wouldn’t actually fact-check his claims or something…

Alas, as he shows you his screen while laughing in crazed triumph, you feel like breaking his obnoxious rainbow-lit keyboard as he runs around his room doing victory laps. You always thought luck would be on your side, especially when it came to studies, but perhaps you had used up all your free passes this year.

Breezing past him, you head to your room to find a light coat for the evening and your car keys. Jungkook seems to find that following you as you complete this task is entertaining, because you have to try your absolute best not to look at him as he tries to get your attention by making his typical crackhead expressions.

“Put on one of your weeb hoodies with the anime chicks and let’s go.”

“Wind out of your sails Y/N?”

He grabs you by the shoulders in an attempt to spin you around, but one well-aimed knee to the balls later, Jungkook seems to enjoy lying on the floor clutching his precious package more than teasing you with his antics.

Mental note: never make a bet with Guk again.

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donotexterminateupgradepudding · 4 years

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Lucifer Morningstar is an introvert. A very awkward and unusual introvert.

In an attempt to not create a bunch of random side-blogs, I’m just going to drop this here. Sorry Doctor Who/Torchwood fans.

With the whole covid-19 thing, I’ve been trapped at home more than I had anticipated recently and I was looking for something a bit more fun and frivolous to watch so I finally gave Lucifer a go.

I honestly don’t know why it took me so long to get to this, my brother had watched it when it was on tv and had mentioned it in passing several times. Suffice to say, once I finally gave into Netflix, I found it to be quite an enjoyable watch.

What really struck me in the serious is how it becomes obvious that Lucifer is an introverted character who is hurt. Wait - what you are thinking? He’s an introvert? Oh man, he’s totally a huge introvert.

Let me walk you through why he’s clearly an introvert despite a quick glance at his outward actions.

1.) Hiding in plain sight.

An interesting aspect to his personality is how he hides in plain sight. When he moves to LA, he rents the building that houses Lux and his penthouse suite. Lux is a place where he is surrounded by people, if he wants to partake in revelry all he needs to do is go downstairs and party with people in the club. However, he can also retreat to his place easily which is surprisingly well stocked with books and another piano for him to play in private. I doubt all of his books are for show, he frequently denies thinking deeply about things, but he always seems to be one step ahead of others which has always implied to me he plays the “I’m smarter than I look/act” card. Early on in the show, he occasionally invited people up to his place to party but it wasn’t a common experience. Think of the pizza delivery guy being invited to stay and party.

Despite his love of drinking, drug use and sex, he makes it quite clear that drinking and drug use rarely have an effect on him for long. He is rarely hung over or wasted since his metabolism clears the alcohol too quickly for him to feel it and on multiple occasions he states he mainly drinks as he likes the taste. One of the few times he was high was after he smoked a massive amount of pot at the teenage delinquent recovery farm as indicated by him sitting at the detective’s desk eating potato chips and dipping them in nutella realizing it was an amazing flavor combination. For him, drugs seem to simply be something that is fun and a way to amuse himself and based on his drinking, it is mainly a way to meet and socialize with people.

As far as the sex, it is clear that he uses his casual hook-ups as a fun distraction. To avoid any possible intimacy with others, he hides behind the fact that sex is a pleasurable act and by keeping his sex life 100% casual, no person in his or her right mind would even consider dating him. He has made himself impossible to be seen as possible long term boyfriend in a steady relationship. He likely struggles with his own angelic power to pull out people’s desires and his ability to seduce them. Since his default is to have people literally throw themselves at him, he likely sees most of them acting in response to his powers and necessarily to him as a person. As he wants people to follow their desires and free-will (as he simply removed the inhibitions that were present and did not create them) he gladly indulges them as well as himself. If I were him, I’d be like “well why not?” an attractive person wants to sleep with me, sure do it, no harm, no foul.

I found it most telling based on how sensitive he is to his sexual reputation as well as his ability to meet his current sexual partner’s needs. First off, when a random kid pretended to be him, he was incredibly upset that his imposter lacked his skills. He’s Lucifer Morningstar, he has skills and a reputation associated with them. Secondly, when the detective decided to interview his previous partners for the past 8 weeks (all 92 of them) two things were very obvious i.) he went to great lengths to make sure no matter what he did, that person had the most amazing sex of his or her life ii.) not a single person he slept with saw it as anything more than an amazing night of no strings attracted sex. His actions did not inspire them to want more of a relationship from him. How his facial expression become quite sad as all 92 of them stated it was just empty sex showed how alone he is. Another unusual trait is that he has been the most sexually responsible angel ever. Granted, the vast majority of angels were never going to have sex in the first place, yet he has a much more responsible track record than Amenadiel. It is clear that he has had sex with thousands upon thousands of humans over the years and he never once resulted in a human-angel pregnancy. This may also be linked to the fact that Amenadiel by default, desires a ‘normal’ regular relationship while Lucifer has been avoiding having a “normal” relationship. It would imply that if he found someone to have a kid with, he would be in a “normal” long term relationship with that person.

Overall, his first career on earth was to make sure he had an establishment that represented what he felt others perceived as his core personality, that as the devil, he would have to surround himself by partying and temptations. Owning Lux is a way for him to keep up appearances and maintain his public persona as well as his persona that is seen by celestial beings. Lucifer is a classic example of a character who is totally alone in a crowd.

2.) Few close friends

Another true introvert trait is to have a small tight knit group of friends. Lucifer fits to this exactly. He has excellent social skills, and again due to his former job and his nature, yet does many actions by smooth, polite and calculated actions - from a distance. His job of granting favors is based on how he knows someone, who knows someone, forming a vast network he has to draw upon to make sure that the favors work out the way the person would like them to. He doesn’t do the favors though because he cares for the person, more than he seems to do it to pass the time until he finds a job with more meaning.

It is starting his second job as a civilian consultant for the LAPD that his preference and need for a small friend group becomes obvious. The most obvious one is his relationship with Chloe.

Chloe Decker: He is first intrigued at why his powers do not work on her, his immediate physical attraction to her as well as seeing her as a kindred spirit also drew him to her. She is the outcast of the department and he knows all too well what it feels like to be the literal outcast. As a result of their common situation and the fact he can’t sway her, the two of them can speak openly and honestly. Granted, the biggest issue with his relationship with Chloe is the fact that she denies the obvious truth that he tells her even though she has seen enough evidence that he likely is not some random British guy living in LA running a high end nightclub.

As their relationship deepens he begins to find comfort in the fact that despite his inability to influence her, she still appreciates his company and values him as a friend and a work partner. Even though he panics and holds her miracle status against her at first, he comes to realize she can’t be held responsible for something she has no control of and is unaware of. Linda time and time again tries to get him to realize that he keeps her away due to his absolute fear that she would reject him. Since she’s the only person who could accept him as is, it means her acceptance of him is the biggest risk to his own heart in regards to her.

In part, his complicated relationship is tied to his fear that she would reject him, so him loving and caring for a single person as he does for her is too risky. He’s a seriously hurt dude, he’s terrified of being hurt anymore by someone he cares for. Chloe really takes a long time to realize how deeply he is hurt. I get that she’s his opposite but I do felt out of all of the characters, she got short end of the stick in regards to character development. Everyone else has had major changes and realizations yet she only sort of struggled with Lucifer’s identity in the first half of season 4 and she was off her “mark” when she was a bit preachy with him. Thankfully, she stopped that bit and realized that he more needed her to listen to him and to support him. It really got that concept that sometimes you need to just be there for someone and not try to fix it - since Chloe is a fixer.

Mazikeen: She is his right-hand woman. The only demon to leave hell to follow him to earth, she first acted as his personal assistant, running the day to day operations of Lux and also working as a bartender. Despite all of their conflicts, they care deeply for each other and have each other’s back.

The hardest part of growth in their relationship is when it went from master-servant/boss-assistant to more that of peers. Even as he began to change in how he worked with humans, he keep their relationship as their default from hell. He really hurt her feelings since she developed feelings and both of them are terrible at expressing them to others. They have a relationship and work dynamic that they had for thousands and thousands of years - it is pretty impressive that they are learning and growing in a relatively short time period to respect each other and mature.

I found the most emotionally moving parts between them to be in season 3 when Chloe begins to get involved with Cain/Pierce and he expresses his worry that at least he has her and she’ll never leave him. Maze interprets this as him being selfish and treating her as his number 2. She lashes out at him and all he does is look back at her in return is hurt as he almost quivers. Since she was his right hand woman in hell, she is the person with whom he has had the longest and most trusting relationship with since being cast into hell. Did he phrase things in a way that helped in the situation - no. But was he telling her his honest feelings that he really does feel like she is someone who is always there for him and supports him - yes. When she goes behind his back to work with Cain/Pierce, he’s hurt and feels betrayed. Sure, some of it is karmic payback for the times he’s hurt her, but after his failed experiment with Abel, he has every right to not just pop willy-nilly between earth and hell.

I have the vibe that they will eventually settle into a sibling like relationship treating each other the same way he interacts with his angel siblings like Amenadiel and Azrael.

Ella Lopez: So far Ella has been the only human friend that he has worked with with whom he hasn’t used his angelic charms on. He was uncomfortable around her at first; she’s religious, she’s outwardly friendly and very much into giving hugs. Ella “wastes” her time on what he would see as pointless pleasantries in the office. Yes, Lucifer will lay on the pleasantries, but his always have a purpose - Ella’s are just her being nice. He did like her opinion that the devil got a bad rap, but then she kept thinking he was a method actor in addition to being a nightclub owner.

Despite their obvious differences the two of them are both very straightforward people who have a strong sense of personal justice and are dedicated to solving the crimes. He quickly begins to joke around with her and with her four older brothers, she finds no issue with dealing with his antics - it is more like par for the course.

The fact that Azrael also couldn’t help but become friends with her seems to indicate she has some sort of personality that celestial beings really like, especially those who have the shittier jobs e.g. Lucifer running hell and punishing and Azrael being the angel of death dealing with, well, death. The fact that she made sure Ella would become friends with Lucifer was really sweet and even though he was at first upset since he doesn’t like people trying to manipulate with him, he realized that Azrael’s action was in right place. She got her favorite brother and favorite human to become friends since she knew they would get along even if she couldn’t be with them - you know, having the whole angel of death as her day job.

His love of Ella as a friend though came out when her older brother Jay was in town and mixed up in the illegal diamond cleaning. Yes, he brought his own feelings with his older brother into the mix, but he was correct. Jay is not the absolutely perfect brother, he was involved in shady stuff. I think when he confronted Jay was one of the best scenes in regards to him standing up for and protecting his friends. He made it very clear that if Jay ever hurt Ella again he’d be in trouble as he knew how important it was to her to continue to see her brother in her own most positive light.

I really get the vibe that they feed off of each other being goofballs - Ella was a nerd and picked on as kid and had a lot of issues to deal with. He’s the cast out son, they are both outcasts on the rebound and they like to have fun with each other. This really comes to a head in season 4 when Lucifer, Chloe and Ella go to the nudist colony. Chloe is a complete stick in the mud and by the time she turns around the two of them are naked and ready to go. As adults on their own and away from their family and their former “teenage” issues they finally get to be who they want to be and I just think their dynamic duo antics are adorable. She is the friend that will do silly things with him while Chloe remains too, well stoic. When Ella has her crisis of faith, Lucifer doesn’t fan the flames instead, he’s confused how to react so he doesn’t tell her what to think.

Trixie: She immediately loved Lucifer from the moment she met him. He is incredibly awkward with her. He’s not sure to do with her little kid hugs, he tries to not hold her hand when they investigate the elite private school. Yet, no matter how frequently he calls her a little urchin and doesn’t understand why she likes him, she grows on him.

I personally loved her bedroom sign in the first season - “Trixie’s room - no boys allowed - except for Lucifer.”

Trixie is a classic example of kid radar seeing people for who they are; she accepts Lucifer and Maze with no judgement, she just sees them as these rad adults whom she can play with.

I really liked when he tried to buy her the new doll since she destroyed her old one - in a way he respected her kid logic - did it teach her a lesson - no. But it was a logical extension as a means to an end. He came from a background of illogical parenting so to speak. He dealt with rules that didn’t always make sense it is clear he spent too much time pondering them thus leading to his current situation.

Does he like other children still? Not really, he still didn’t know what to do when he touched a kid’s head with a little pat as his backyard picnic with Cain as he wiped his hand on his sweater. Yet, since he has gotten to know Trixie through his interactions with her it is clear that he likes her.

Dr. Linda Martin: Dr. Martin is my fav female character on the entire show as she is a compassionate, caring and intelligent individual and a secret badass. Her relationship with Lucifer started how all of his interactions with people who desire him do - with her wanting to sleep with him. Over time, she realizes that she can’t and shouldn’t be sleeping with him and he also begins to realize that he can work with her without having to pay her with his body and pay her the normal way - with money. He learns to treat himself with more respect and not just give away himself to her. Showing a bit of a shift in how he sees himself with those he actually knows.

I think she really was his first example of how to have a normal human transaction with well, a human. She is incredibly patient with him and even when he reveals his true self to her, she is able to accept him with a little nudge from Maze. Despite being overwhelmed due to his families odd demands on her and almost killed by his very upset and stressed out mother, she protects him as a client and as a friend.

Sure, he always interprets her advice in interesting ways and she knows him well enough to realize that he avoids things and is in denial but she always still cares for him. He also does frequently figure out what she wants him to realize - he just likes to make it more difficult for himself. I wonder if the more that they got to know each other, his ability to influence her waned as she saw him as more than a playboy and he saw her as a doctor who could help him and later as a good and trusted friend.

Most importantly, she never gives up on him and truly believes in him despite all of his detours and distractions. When he has his identity crisis in season 4, she is the first person he shows his devil wings to. This comes from a place of deep trust in her and even though she can’t help him, she is there for him as a friend.

I don’t think he’d ever admit it to her directly, but Lucifer likely understands that Linda’s friendship with Maze has helped Maze grow as a person - er demon - and her advice has helped him in how he interacts with her learning how to change his relationship with her from boss-assistant to more that of peers and friends.

Dan Espinoza: Oh yes, despite all of their stupid male ego headbutting, Lucifer is friends with Dan and he does care for the man. When they first met, Dan was definitely a being a bit of a dick to Chloe; mainly by keeping his own secrets to protect her even though it drove her nuts. If anything bothers Lucifer more it is people lying and hiding things from him. Lucifer is almost pathological with telling the truth and not lying; and well Dan was not the most honest at the beginning.

So of course, he received full on Lucifer hazing; once the police admin punished him by demoting him for messing with evidence he slowly became more sympathetic to Dan. He did use his skills to get Dan to admit that he wanted to correct his mistakes and when Dan started to lose it with Azrael’s blade, he saw that Dan was a stronger and more complicated man than he wanted him to be. If Dan were a simple man, driven by simple desires and actions, Lucifer could write him off. But Dan isn’t, his biggest change is when he realized he needed to stop calling him Detective Douche and actually call him Dan, in part due to Dan standing up to his teasing.

Was it right for Lucifer to keep up his petty antics for so long? Likely not, but Lucifer learned that some of Dan’s actions and personality traits are actually good things and his day shadowing Dan was annoying for poor Dan, but at least allowed him to realize that not everyone is the same.

Lucifer also has been more honest about his feelings in front of Dan than many others - when they went to get a favor from the Russian mob boss, he freely admitted his own hatred for himself and how he hurts everyone he cares about. If he said that in front of Chloe or Ella, both of them would rush to tell him it isn’t true and he’s being too hard on himself. Instead, Dan kept his distance and realized that both of them think the grass is greener on their side of the fence. Lucifer is secretly jealous of Dan’s more simple approach to things and Dan thinks Lucifer truly is careless and wishes he could be a flippant as he appears to be.

Dan really is a reminder how how Lucifer is unable to open up to others and make himself more vulnerable. Unfortunately, this results in Dan frequently getting hurt and he makes epic bad decisions in season 4 out of grief over Charlotte’s death, blaming Lucifer for all of his pain. But no matter what happens, it is clear that Lucifer would not wish for bad things to happen to Dan as he is a good guy and a capable detective.

Is their friendship a perfect one? Far from it, but both of them really do try to care and support the other guy as long as they aren’t pissed off at each other. It likely doesn’t help that Lucifer’s friendship with Dan is pretty much his only one with a normal human guy. He’s got plenty of angelic brothers and Cain really isn’t normal by a long shot so it makes Dan even more important to have him in his circle of close friends. As a 100% totally normal dude, Dan acts frequently as the ‘in’ to understanding (or really lack of understanding) what is happening.

Eve: I just finished re-watching season 4. I’m still not sure where I’d place Eve in all of this. She’s only in season 4 so far and based on her actions, I’m not sure I’d call her one of his close friends. If anything she was pretty much an impediment to all of his relationships - albeit maybe not quite on purpose . . . she’s a woman who still hasn’t figured out who she is despite realizing she needs to not define herself in the context of a relationship.

Sorry for not having more thoughts on this, I need to ponder it more.

What I will say is that their relationship issues stem from the fact that he is an introvert and she’s an extrovert. He realized that Eve was a “bad” influence on him and he struggled to express his feelings to her. The fact that it takes him shouting out at her that he “doesn’t like who he is when he’s with her” was painfully difficult for him to say. It is clear that he cares about her deeply and he wants her to be happy. Yet, he can’t and really doesn’t want to deliver on her actions or feelings. The worst part is that it tears him up inside since in a way he saw her as a possible long term partner which was a big deal for him.

3.) Works either alone or in small groups.

When it comes to his role with the LAPD, Lucifer’s modes of action are not that of a typical extrovert. He is either working closely with his partner Chloe, or occasionally with Ella or Dan. He is never part of a large group nor is he taking a typical leadership role. Due to his need to protect others and his need to get answers as quickly and directly as possible, he frequently goes off on his own. In part, this is so that he can take full advantage of his angelic powers and immortality, but also to protect those he cares about. Sure, he walks into a Korean gang headquarters and tells them to come out, but he doesn’t try to chit chat or smooth things over with them. He goes in, finds the head boss and pretty much strikes a deal with him that he can’t refuse. When he wants an answer his methods are far too direct. Find suspect/target/person and just question them or threaten them and then question them. There is no charming and social games. He can’t be bothered with banal pleasantries when he wants to know something. If Lucifer were a true extrovert he would want to talk to others and feed off of the energy he gets from being with them - yet - he never has shown this. He sees getting information as a task he needs to complete as quickly and efficiently as possible.

Even though he is hurt when Chloe and Cain become closer and begin to hang out or work cases without him, he still shows up and does work to help out with cases. He also is good at working by himself and is able to work things out when he applies himself.

He also has an excellent sense of intuition when reading people. Of course, one of the major aspects of the show is that he projects his own issues onto others. This leads him off of what they are doing sometimes, so his read isn’t quite right. But he is perceptive when he sees odd behaviors and is able to connect things without full information. This is both what he did with Ella’s brother Jay and more importantly with Pierce/Cain. He invites him for a drink and then stabs him with the knife. He looks incredibly nervous after he kills him as he can’t kill a human as an angel - he keeps switching between trying to be calm and have a drink while he waits for him to wake up with a nervous sweat. Did he know for sure Pierce was Cain? No, hence the nervousness until his intuition was proven correct was his true feelings on his gamble.

Furthermore, when he does work with Chloe or others, he always has their back and will go to any length to work with them. This to me indicates that he finds working with a select few people with whom he can trust is how he is most comfortable and he doesn’t need to be the center of attention and the one in charge like how he was in charge of hell. It is clear that by the end of season 4 even though he returned to hell it wasn’t because he enjoyed to or wanted to - it was because he had to protect everyone he cared about. He also has a natural chemistry and ease working with Chloe where even in tough situations they instinctively know what to do and how to act.

4.) He expresses himself through actions.

Lucifer is an incredibly hurt individual. He was punished by having to take a job that he didn’t even want or even desire and most of his family abandoned him. He’s terrified to open up and show his true feelings and pain to others as they would take advantage of it as a weakness to hurt him further. Honestly, I think he still doesn’t quite understand how his actions landed him in hell. He was questioning the establishment and it is clear he thinks deeply about rules and how they influence others. Anything he thinks is illogical he ignores as he can’t be bothered to care to follow those rules and conventions. I think about how he made Chloe rethink the “swear jar” for Trixie - he pointed out rules without a clear basis don’t make sense.

Since he struggles to express his feelings in a way to help others. e.g. mainly in his denial/fear to tell Chloe he truth does two things; i.) he makes it about him or ii.) he tries to demonstrate through his actions.

The making it about him method, is a subtle way where he wants to know how to solve his own problem to help him understand or interact with others. But since he doesn’t want to say for example “I need to figure out how Cain can die since I promised him and I am true to my word.” he instead hides behind the idea of “I need to find the author’s killer so I can read how she got over her writers block.” By extension, since the manuscript is an instruction guide, he thinks he’ll learn something so that he can follow through on his promise. It is a very obtuse way to act, but since he hides behind his narcissistic facade no one will understand he’s not doing it for himself.

As far as his actions, he really shows it when he reorganizes Chloe’s desk; he realizes that she deals with all the paperwork and since she is capable she gets even more paperwork piled on to her workload. He cleans up her mess and anal retentively arranges her pencils and makes sure the right angles on the files are all lined up. He also found a method of filing that makes more sense to him and it inadvertently helps her find the missing piece of evidence for their most recent case. I liked how he color coded everything. Did he need to add the picture of him in his underwear as her backdrop? Hell no, but he figures out that since she likes him, what’s wrong with her seeing a part of him that she likely will never see.

This also gets him into trouble; again, buying the doll for Trixie, trying to out perform Cain in gifts for Chloe and always seeing things as a competition. He wants to give people physical proof of his care for people without actually saying it. Specifically he wants to express his care through a tangible amount of some sort of physical object.

5.) He hides behind his narcissistic behaviors.

As Lucifer struggles to come to terms with himself and expressing his feelings he has hid behind his narcissism. What is a great way to keep people away from you and keeping your distance from them? Being completely self-absorbed with yourself that no one would ever want to be friends with you. His narcissism is a HUGE turnoff for the vast majority of the population.

It is so clear that he wants to develop close relationships but he’s so afraid of hurting others and even more so hurting himself. He’s hid behind his hedonistic behaviors and his self-absorbed actions for thousands of years. He really is a very particular person; he is constantly adjusting his sleeves under his suit coat, his shoes are always perfect, he moisturizes and his hair is styled elegantly. He likes things arranged elegantly and it shows how important control is to him. If he is 100% in control of everything, again he’s protected from being hurt.

As he works at the LAPD and forms his important friendships, his appearance changes. In the first season, he wears black or dark grey suits, his shirts are white, black, dark purple, dark blue and grey, if I recall correctly. He keeps his look simple and professional, almost cold. His matching pocket squares are also basic and mainly a single solid color with few patterns.

Yet overtime, he becomes more adventurous in his appearance, he starts wearing more light blue shirts, he begins to add in more color with burgundy, forest green, and even a caramel colored suit. His pocket squares become more interesting with patterns and more color combinations. With the increase in color and variety he appears much more approachable and has more of an air of friendliness even though he still only cares for his small group of friends.

A case that was a real struggle for him was with the online dating app for “fabulous” people - Top Meet. He wanted to continue to judge people based on superficial appearances, as it has been his own wall and it has served him well. When they ultimately confront the killer, his own knowledge of nature and narcissists allows him to save the day by tossing the head sculpture at him and the detective can apprehend him.

His car serves as both another front and also shows how he longs for few intimate friendships or relationships. He’s got that lovely little Corvette and it is a two-seater. He doesn’t drive a giant, flashy car that can fit lots of people. Instead, he has a small almost cute (I personally think it is cute) car that only another person can sit in. He only wants to ride with one person at a time as he values his close relationships. Yet, having a car that only can fit one other passenger shows a part of his narcissistic front - that only a person who he’d see as worthy would be able to ride with him.

Overall, by looking at how Lucifer chose to have a job on earth in a nightclub where he could simply hide was the first indication he’s an introverted character. The longer he has been in LA, the more close friendships he has formed and they are very important to him as well as his oldest friendship with Maze. When he realized that Maze was attracted to Eve, he noticed it, but hasn’t made mention of it yet (likely that will happen in season 5). The fact that he noticed it meant he really has stopped seeing her as his right hand woman and more just as an individual with feelings. His close friendships really show that he’s an introvert not an extrovert. It is obvious that he gains meaning and connection from these close relationships in a way he never experienced before. His preference for working either alone or in a small team also shows that he is much more comfortable as well as his preference to express himself through actions as opposed to using words since that is much harder and more uncomfortable. Lastly, by hiding himself from all others behind a self-absorbed image he has been able to keep others away from him for thousands of years.

The major point about his character growth is learning that having a small support group of real friends and family he can find what he’s been looking for. A place to belong and be accepted.

#lucifer tv #lucifer #lucifer morningstar #chloe decker #mazikeen #maze #linda martin #dr. linda martin #dan espinoza #ella lopez #trixie decker

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madonna-la-cardinalessa · 4 years

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Another tag by my beautiful friend @tiffany-of-wales which I am glad to do finally :D

Flower tag:

jasmine; what mythical creature do you wish actually existed?

Unicorns. And I also believe that what we call mythical creatures once did exist and somewhere still do.

lavender; soundcloud or vinyls?

May I say CDs instead? I always like to have a CD booklet and like own the CD, putting it in my cupboard and say “ Look, I own this.” – not only on an online platform.

primrose; what book does everyone right now need to read?

Hmmm. Everyone? I do not think every book if for everyone but I recommend classics from Goethe, Schiller, Lessing and Shakespeare.

lunar mist; do you like wearing other people’s shirts/jackets?

I share some clothes with my mom. But if I had a boyfriend rn I would love to cuddle in his hoodies at times I think^^”

bird of paradise; what was the best thing that happened to you this month?

That I finished my bachelor’s thesis. I learned so much and I hope the work was worth it so that I pass it and get a good mark!

gardenia; what’s a promise you’ve recently made to yourself?

That I will try to get things done now that I have time during Corona.

lion’s fairytale; would you rather be the sky, the ocean or the forests?

Forests!

whirling butterflies; would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Definitely not Ö.ö

marmalade skies; do you plan your outfits?

Yes!

apricot drift; how do you feel right now?

Bored. I don’t like the current situation.

everlasting daisy; what’s the last dream you remember having?

Omg this night I dreamed sm shit, I swear. I was horse riding at night in the forests (no sane soul would do that lol) and found a deserted planetarium.

queen’s cup; what are you craving right now?

Getting a good mark on my bachelor’s thesis xD Oh, and I hope that I will be able to visit Rome this year – we had to cancel the Rome trip that was planned in a week for obvious reasons..

lavender dream; turn ons/offs?

Dangerous vibes/ being clingy and/or wimpy.

water lilly; when was the last time you cried?

Last week I think. Maybe the one before that.

lily of the valley; did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize?

No.

winterberry; do you bite or lick your ice cream?

Depends, actually I do both.

honey perfume; favorite movie ever?

Hände weg von Mississippi (2007), Die Wilden Hühner (2006), most Studio Ghibli movies.

desert rose; do you like yourself?

Yes, I do.

snapdragon; have you ever met or seen in person a celebrity?

Yes, I did.

night owl; how many countries have you visited?

Only 5.

heliotrope; have you ever been in a castle?

Many, many times. I love visiting castles and monasteries.

creams and sky; what’s the craziest/bravest thing you’ve done?

Riding nearly every day into the woods with my high speed thoroughbred? xD Does that count? My girl is FAST.

lantana; what’s on your mind right now?

My horse Poly <3

pumpkin patch; what’s your zodiac sign?

I’m a Capricorn.

tulip; name 5 facts about yourself.

1. Even though I may look like it, I am no party girl at all.

2. Since childhood I had to deal with envy towards me which is why I never had many friends.

3. My best friend and I broke up several times – we’re both stubborn but we love each other a lot.

4. My love for history started with a documentary I watched when I was about 14. It was about vampirism in the balkan states. And it manifested with watching “The Tudors”, since then I knew that I wanted to study history – and now I do.

5. Without my friend Sandy I would have never settled down in church history during the Renaissance.

daphne; do you believe in karma?

Absolutely.

queen of the meadow; ever been in love?

Never with a person from this time period, no. I hope I will in near future tough.

wisteria; whom do you admire and why?

People who don’t spend their time with overthinking what other people might think of them.

angel’s face; what was your favorite bedtime story as a child?

The tales my father invented for me.

remember me; did you make someone laugh today?

My dog when I offered him a bit of my banana.

iris; do you believe in ghosts?

Yes.

lilac; if you could go back in time which time period would you visit?

That is hard. Renaissance Italy sure is fascinating but 17th century Europe comes to my mind more often, it’s weird.

caramel kisses; would you want to live forever? why/why not?

Maybe not living forever, But I would not mind at all staying young and beautiful as long as I live xD

primula; what makes you sad?

What mankind does to the world, to the earth to it’s creatures: plants and animals. I think we deserve to suffer and die out.

rain lily; was today typical? why/why not?

No, since everything is upside down thanks to Corona.

queen anne’s lace; who do you trust the most?

Myself.

Lady’s slipper; what did you have for breakfast today?

Toast with Nutella and fennel tea. <3.

forget me not; do you have any regrets looking back in your life?

I wished I had done more social things during my teens. I was always studying and reading with my head in the clouds. I wonder how things would be different now when I had been in relationships earlier etc.

lunaria; what’s your favorite fictional universe?

Torn between LOTR and Harry Potter.

violet; favorite tv show?

Borgia, now and always.

sunflower; share a favorite quote.

Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under it.

snowdrop; what does your ideal day look like?

Getting up early, go seeing my horse and take a long ride into the woods. The weather would be cold but sunny. After having a nice lunch with my mom I would relax in the afternoon and then go visiting my best friend, for dinner we would have sushi and watch a nice movie together like best friends do. When I got home I would watch an episode of Borgia to relax and then go to bed <3.

tiger lily; do you have any hobbies?

Reading, writing, history, horse riding, dreaming…..

peony; share a small random book passage that means something to you.

In Neil Gaiman’s Coraline when Coraline is about to find the last child’s soul and the other crazy old man says: “You’re too clever and too quiet for them to understand. They don’t even get your name right.” I feel that sm.

tea rose; what’s something you always wanted to do but were too scared?

Partying maybe? I am a very shy person and would feel uncomfortable but I am afraid I miss something always staying at home at night.

honeysuckle; do you usually date people your age or older/younger?

Mostly about my age, but I like the guys to be older than me tbh.

sweet pea; who means the world to you?

My horse Poly.

love in the mist; best books you’ve ever read?

Actually I really enjoy Ludwig von Pastor’s History of the Popes. It may have it’s flaws but I it is really good researched and I appreciate all the notes and footnotes. Even though it’s academic literature it is still enjoyable to read.

foxglove; who is your favorite cartoon character?

Sailor Moon! If that counts as a cartoon.

magnolia; coffee or tea?

Tea, I have one right now.

crown imperial; would you rather be extremely rich or extremely loved?

Can’t I have both?

snowflake; are you a dog or a cat person?

I love both but probably more a dog person.

bell flower; what is your biggest addiction?

History.

cosmos; do you ever think about the galaxy?

Yes, we are so small, aren’t we? And yet mankind pretends to be so special and to know everything. How pitiful.

moonflower; what’s your favorite color?

Fir Green.

freesia; do you have a good relationship with your parents and siblings? why/why not?

I think so, yes.

sundrop; are you a morning or a night person?

A morning person.

poppy; have you ever dealt with a mental illness?

Yes, but I try to lock it inside.

clover; how would your friends describe you?

Calm but clever.

dandelion; do you consider yourself and extrovert or an introvert?

Introvert.

lilly; what’s something you love watching/reading but you are too embarrassed to admit you do?

In romance novels I am always waiting for the s*x passages lol xD Probably because this kind of thing is missing in my life atm xD

anemone; describe yourself in 3 words.

Astute, spiritual, special.

lotus; best memory as a child?

The holidays in Bavaria. Nothing was more beautiful.

angelonia; what is your eye and hair color?

Smokey grey, blonde.

dahlia; do you like crystals?

Yes.

buttercup; if you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?

Let everything bad for the environment disappear.

baby’s breath; what’s your hogwarts house?

Slytherin.

calendula; biggest pet peeve?

Pollution.

blanker flower; would you rather go to a cocktail party with your best friends or stay home and read a book/watch a movie with your pet?

If you read everything till now you will now – stay home with my pet and watch a movie/read a book. xD

blazing star; share a secret.

Why would I?

carnation; would you rather live longer or happier?

Happier.

petunia; who’s story is your biggest inspiration in life? why?

I stopped looking for rolemodels but try to live and be the best I can.

bluebell; do you wear glasses?

Nope.

And I tag everyone who wants to do this :D

#about me #me

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inmytaste-blog · 5 years

Text

Secret Love

Word Count: 2.5

Warnings: Boyfriend material Shawn aka ordinary Shawn

A/N: Whoop another update! First of all, I wanted to thank you for showing love to this account by following and requesting and secondly, I am more than thrilled to have received some requests already and I promise I will devote time in order to fullfill them! As always, feedback is very much appreciated and requests or random talks about anything are too! Since next time, happy reading!

______________________

‘’What do you not understand Brian? I hate seeing her like this because of that douchebag. I even wonder how she lets herself feel upset over that… being’’ Shawn tugged at his hair with frustration and puffed loudly enough for his friend to hear.

‘’Well, I don’t know either but there isn’t much we can do now, is it?’’ Brian spoke truthfully and he collapsed on his couch.

Truth is, he didn’t know how she got involved with her ex altogether. It is clear as day that he is the complete opposite of her type in guys yet here she were in her apartment sulking and wiping tears that didn’t really deserve to be spilled for him. Shawn knew she could do so much better and devote herself to somebody who would devote themselves to her just as much if not more. Shawn knew he was the one for her even though her eyes were blindfolded and couldn’t acknowledge that.

Y/N and Shawn had started as really good friends when she had gone out looking for a home in his neighbourhood. He would see her almost every day talking to the landlord of the apartment and he couldn’t stop questioning whether she would finally settle down to that apartment or leave. After some days, his question was answered when he saw her carrying multiple boxes which held her belongings up to the apartment. He was rather excited to know that he had a neighbor approximately at his age and a very beautiful one for that matter.

So when he got out of his house which was opposite from hers to introduce himself to her and perhaps help her with her carrying, she were pretty positive this new way of living would be less painful and rather enjoyable. She didn’t believe she were that lucky to meet a kind and handsome young man so she were pretty hesitant at first. Shawn sensed that and was trying to get her to open up to him and just be more… her. Time proved to be on his side and after some time they did everything together. He even introduced her to some of his friends.

‘’Are you sure you are not smitten with her mate? As long as her name rolled off your tongue, your eyes were gleaming.’’ One of his friends would notice and a small smile would creep up Shawn’s lips.

‘’Nah, you know she is a close friend. Plus, I don’t think I am her type’’ Shawn would explain and his eyes would travel to her figure sitting across the room, eyes fixed on the person in front of her since she always had ears for people who were there to talk to her.

Ever since, Shawn would always stare at her a bit longer and he would start fantasizing about what it would be like to be together, like together-together, with him calling her girlfriend and waking her up with kisses and cuddles. It was a picture he still had in his mind every time he would hear her voice through the speaker of his phone or when she would ask for his help in deciding which photo was better to be posted on her Instagram blog. Maybe he was smitten after all. But he didn’t care because it felt good.

What didn’t feel that good though was when she burst through the door one night, announcing that Jake, at the time being, her ex, had finally asked her out and she were thrilled to go out with him. Shawn pretended to be happy with her news but deep down he felt his heart clenching and his breathing getting harder each second that passed by. He was supposed to be the one asking her out and he was supposed to be the one looking at her beauty all night long not that Jake guy.

‘’Wow, this is some news there… I am happy he finally decided to come around Y/N’’ he had said while his eyes fell to the floor and he tried to ignore the smile on her lips caused by somebody else.

‘’You could hide your frustration better I believe’’ she would playfully snap back without really knowing that Shawn was trying. Hard.

‘’I am happy for you, I really am Y/N. Now if you’ll excuse me’’ he had said ready to get up from the couch ready to abandon her apartment altogether.

‘’Whoa whoa, I was joking you know that. You can stay as long as you want to Shawn, what happened?’’ Y/N really tried to understand but she couldn’t quite put her hand on whatever was going on in Shawn’s mind.

‘’Nothing happened. You need to get ready for your… date’’ he said so bitterly and Y/N was more than shocked at the change of his behavior. She really didn’t know what got him so worked up since they were friends. All she did was share her happiness with him, something that real friends do the last time she had checked.

‘’Well, if you see it that way I can’t do much to change your mind. Thanks though’’ she had said and Shawn exited her house with his heart falling to his guts.

After that date, things escalated pretty quickly for Shawn’s own liking. Y/N was every single hour stuck to her phone, giving all her attention to a screen and not to her best friend and whenever she wasn’t glued to her phone she would be out with Jake. In other words, Shawn felt horrendous. He felt like he was losing Y/N one and for good without really having a say in it. It pained him to see how far they were now all because of Jake and his ‘’love’’ for Y/N. He was sure his love didn’t even come close to the amount of feelings Shawn had for her. He just knew her better and loved her unconditionally.

The thing is that he was a bit out of time and Y/N didn’t particularly wait for him to gather up his courage to confess. But Shawn had learned from his mistake and he was willing not to let more time go by without letting her know that he loved her. Yes, he loved her. He had admitted to himself that he loved her long before he was even sure about it. He loved her for the way she would dance carelessly to her favourite song in her room blasting it through the speakers, for the way she ate her pancakes getting all messy with the syrup or the Nutella, for the way her hands fit perfectly in his own when she was cold and had no pockets to keep them warm. But he particularly loved her for the way she never hesitated to tell what was on her mind, not really caring if she would make a complete fool out of herself. She was real and he loved her for that.

But seeing that Jake was having all of that to himself, made him sick to his stomach. Brian tried to persuade Shawn that Y/N was happy in her relationship and that she would want him to have something similar in his life as well but all his talking was going down the drain every single time.

‘’I want that too. But with her Brian! Why is this so hard to realize? If I could go and erase her completely from my mind, I wouldn’t because I love her damn it!’’ he would shout and Brian would pat his friend in the back.

‘’That hard huh?’’

‘’And even more. It’s just… her. It is the very first time I feel like this and I feel like I lost my shot’’ he was very disappointed in himself and the way things were developing.

‘’Well, I think you can’t blame yourself nor her. You just didn’t want to ruin your friendship and she has no clue that you are dying without her’’

‘’Do you really believe she is happy with him?’’

‘’Well, I see the way she smiles when his name is mentioned and how eager she is to meet up with him every time they arrange to do something together. I don’t know what your definition for happiness is pal but she seems happy to me’’

Shawn wished he hadn’t asked that question because he wasn’t prepared for the answer at all. He wanted to see Y/N happy of course, but with him and because of him.

‘’I know she would be happier with me’’

So when the bomb exploded and he saw Y/N crying her eyes out because of that scumbag he wanted nothing more than to hit his face and make him hurt just as much as his Y/N was hurting. He just couldn’t bear the sight before him; a completely wrecked Y/N being unable to stand on her own feet. He wanted nothing more but to see Y/N glowing with happiness not screaming catastrophe.

Shawn was there for her every step of the way and he would surely be by her side now that she needed him most. He made sure she always came home to vanilla cupcakes and her favourite movie on pause ready to be watched by her. He was willing to let her be the small spoon while they were cuddling close not really caring for anything else but her healing. She was still recovering from her breakup with Jake but she would let go a bit more every day because of Shawn. He was more than pleased to know he was the reason behind her well-being and her old self coming back.

Things were not that easy though. There were some days when she would still lock herself up in her room, completely ignoring Shawn and the cupcakes, the only thing in her mind being her bed and her tears. It was a pretty hard breakup and she was handling it even harder. She didn’t want to let Shawn down but she couldn’t pretend that everything was okay and that she had moved on when clearly that was nowhere close to reality. So she would climb up the stairs, mouthing a ‘’sorry’’ at Shawn and entering her room in complete silence.

Shawn wanted nothing more than to go up there and take her into his warm embrace until her tears dampened his sweater. So that is what he decided to do one of those days.

‘’Can I come in?’’

A muffled ‘’yes’’ was heard from the other end of the door and he hated Jake for making her feel so small and helpless.

‘’Hey’’ he would gently say, careful not to upset her any further.

‘’Hi’’ her voice was rough from all the previous crying and her hands stood numb in front of her, playing with the hem of her shirt.

‘’How are you feeling honey?’’

‘’Fucking shitty but I guess it shows, doesn’t it?’’

‘’Well I wouldn’t have guessed if you hadn’t said so’’ Shawn tried to make her smile and it partly worked. He swore he saw stars every time she smiled at him or just giggled like a small child.

‘’Shawn I never really got to thank you for doing so much for me. I know you have no right to worry this much about me and seeing you try this hard really makes me feel worse’’ she was rumbling by now but this was the way she felt towards him. He made sure she was healing in the best way possible and here she was crying over her lame boyfriend who most possibly deserved nothing but ignorance.

‘’Hey hey hey, where did this come from? If I am not the one who takes care of you then who is it? Please don’t think about it Y/N, please. It is my pleasure to see you every day getting a little better and I completely understand that there are times when you want all the pressure and the hurt to go away somehow. So crying is the only solution even though I still believe he doesn’t deserve it. Not your tears and he definitely didn’t deserve you’’ he said looking deep into her eyes but as soon as he realized what he had just said he looked at the bed avoiding her gaze.

Her eyes widened a little bit at her friend’s words not really being able to accept that her friend might have feelings for her.

‘’Shawn, thank you. I really do’’

‘’Shhh, you have no reason to. Now please calm down and rest a little bit’’

‘’Will you help me to?’’ she asked pleadingly and he was more than willing to lie by her side meaning that he got to hold her a bit closer. He felt at ease watching her sleep peacefully, worries far away and thoughts not related to that Jake boy. He was there with her and it was all that mattered.

For the next couple weeks, things really seemed to become lighter and Shawn was thrilled to see Y/N blooming again. She even took the initiative and wanted to go out to grab lunch with Shawn and not stay in. It was a pleasant surprise both for Shawn but for her as well because she was finally healing and wanted nothing to do with Jake. She was very thankful she had Shawn in her life and she made sure he knew every passing day.

‘’Y/N I know love that you appreciate everything that I do but please this is too much’’ Shawn would giggle at her attempts to pay him back for his services by buying his Taco Bell order for the fifth time in a row.

‘’Nah it is nothing compared to your marvelous personality seriously’’ she would say sitting down next to him and looking him in the eyes.

‘’I have you here all smiley and happy and that is more I could ever ask for as payback’’ Shawn would state taking both her hands in his own and looking in her eyes dearly. If only she knew how much he wanted to ask her whether she wanted to be held like this from him every day and every night.

‘’Shawn…’’ she would say filled with butterflies and hearts inside but not really daring to say the actual words she too wanted to be heard.

Shawn decided that if he didn’t make a move now he would never do it and he would hate himself for the rest of his life.

‘’Y/N I was really hurting when I saw you wrecked over Jake so I had to help you recover honey. It really tore me apart to see how broken he got you. But what really pained me more was when you were smiling because of him and I was not the reason of your so beautiful smile. I hated that he got to see another version of you that I might never get to see’’ Shawn said all in one breath and Y/N stood there dumbfounded and somewhat relieved to know that she had guessed right about Shawn’s intentions towards her, somehow matching her own ones towards him.

‘’What is that version you might not get to see Shawn?’’ she asked curiously scooting a little closer to him.

‘’The girlfriend version of you’’ Shawn admitted shamefully.

Y/N took that as the perfect opportunity to change the sequence of events and she wasted no time.

‘’Don’t be so sure of that Shawn’’.

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merlevum · 6 years

Text

Hetalia Fanfiction - Soleil Ch 2

Summary: For the past month Gilbert Beilschmidt went to the park to eat his lunch. What he was not expecting was befriending a bird as a friend, only to find out the bird was a shifter.

For outside links please click here. There will be links to AO3 and FF.net.

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Chapter 2:

Gilbert woke to cold hands shaking him gently. Eyes fluttered open, the strange taste of golden curls in his mouth made him smack his lips in an attempt to wake up. A muffled voice called his name, to which he grunted a very intelligent response before allowing his eyes to close again having not fully focused in the first place. He dreamed of golden feathers and peridots on a pastel splattered beach. Even now he could feel the warmth of the sun on his body.

"Gilbert!" The voice finally came through the fogginess of sleep before Gilbert bolted up from the sofa on his hands and knees. Panting, crimson eyes fell upon Matthew who kneeled beside the couch while he attempted to wake Gilbert.

"Vögelchen?" Gilbert's voice was dry and gave a crack towards the end when he slowly reigned in his breathing.

"I'm sorry, did I scare you? I didn't mean to, but your thing from yesterday won't stop jumping on the table and making noise." Matthew pointed to the table just as Gilbert's phone vibrated against it once again.

Gilbert lunged for the phone in case it was an important call, but found the vibrating to be from his alarm. It was set to go off at seven in the morning to make sure he got to work on time. Yet with Matthew at the apartment and it being Saturday there was no need to go into work to fill up the empty hours of his day. Sure, back home he partied on the weekend occasionally but with trying to put Ludwig through school he had other priorities. Still, Gilbert would have liked to find a more enjoyable job.

"It's fine Matthew. It's called a phone and it was just my alarm going off to tell me to wake up." Gilbert sat more comfortably on the couch finding it odd the two had spent the entire night on it instead of on the soft bed. Moving his neck from side to side, he heard a small crack. The sound made his neck feel better, but Gilbert knew he would be sore a little later.

"You have to go to work?" Matthew asked as he slowly stood up in what appeared to only be an oversized shirt belonging to Gilbert. Or at least Gilbert had found the shirt packed neatly in his suitcase the night he first moved into the apartment. It originally belonged to Ludwig who was taller and a little broader, who refused to take it back until Gilbert came back home.

"Matthew, did you find that in the closet?" Gilbert asked, rubbing at his tired eyes. A nod from Matthew confirmed his suspicions. "Please tell me you're wearing shorts or something underneath."

"I, uh, might have borrowed a pair. Yes," Mathew said quietly, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as if he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Not that Matthew would even understand what that meant.

"At least there's that. What happened to the clothes you had yesterday?" Gilbert put away the phone and patted the seat next to him on the couch.

"You left them on the bench in your hurry. It was the only outfit I had to blend in with the humans," Matthew climbed on the couch, leaving space between himself and Gilbert. "I hope you don't mind me borrowing yours."

Gilbert gave a small cackle as he watched the shifter actually look sheepish for having put on clothes. Honestly, Gilbert was glad Matthew had them on, there was no need to wake him up naked. His brain supplied him with a flash of Matthew kneeling down with nothing on as he begged for Gilbert to get up. Shuddering at the thought, Gilbert shook his head. There was not time for thoughts like that. Now that he was responsible for Vögelchen he had to make sure to teach Mathew everything there was to know about being a human, which meant clothes, eating like a human, and learning the mannerisms of human life. Sex was down at the bottom of his list and he only wanted to cross that bridge if Matthew asked him about it.

"No, I don't mind. But maybe we should get your own clothes. You can pick them out if you want. I have a bit saved up that I can use for the occasion. Not to mention, if you want to be a human, or blend in at times, you'll have to learn to eat a bit more than just nuts and dried up fruit."

Gilbert checked his back pocket for his wallet, wondering if he should grab some cash, or just use his card. With the store he had in mind, it would probably be best to just take the card and save himself the trouble of teaching Matthew about ATM machines.

"Money? You mean the green paper that everyone gives to someone when they have items in their hands?" Amethyst eyes were trained on Gilbert, who saw the thirst for knowledge behind the innocence.

"Yes, the green paper. Each one has a different value on it meaning that one might be five dollars, or ten dollars even. You do not know about numbers right?" Matthew nodded, waiting for Gilbert to continue. "Right then, I'll show you how to use paper when we get the groceries. I know I'm going to need a few things, and we can pick up some fruit for you as well. How does that sound?"

Gilbert watched as Matthew just sat there quiet, but the shifter was only just containing the euphoria of the planned day it seemed as he bounced a little on the couch. His amethyst eyes reflected the feeling by shining bright at Gilbert as a broad smile was plastered on his face. Gilbert wondered if it hurt Matthew's cheeks to smile as such.

"Right, then we'll get some breakfast, head to get the clothes and then the food."

Eggs and toast sounded rather delicious to him, but he wondered if Matthew would eat that. Maybe he still had some trail mix, but with a human body, Matthew would have to eat a little more than just nuts and berries. A slow introduction to foods would be best. Matthew followed Gilbert into the kitchen, hopping to sit on one of the counters. He swung his legs a little as if he was a small child. The action reminded Gilbert of Ludwig when he was smaller.

"What are you doing?" Matthew watched Gilbert gathered a pan from the pantry and pulled the toaster a little farther away from the wall.

"Making eggs and toast for breakfast." Gilbert's his voice was muffled from bending into the fridge to find the eggs towards the back of the middle shelf in the fridge.

"Eggs? Gilbert are you - No! You can't be!"

Gilbert turned with the eggs in one hand and a few other ingredients he used to make scrambled eggs, in the other. Matthew jumped down from the counter and chirped angrily at the sight of the egg carton before dashing to the safest spot he could find, which was a corner in the kitchen furthest from Gilbert.

Brows knitted in confusion, Gilbert placed the items on the counter before turning his attention back to Matthew. Just like the day before, feathers had sprouted from his hair and arms. Gilbert would have to explain to Matthew the need to not get flustered so easily in public. The feathers and other shifted parts would surely give him away if someone were to see and who knows what sort of trouble the two would end up in.

"Vögelchen, what's wrong? What did I say?" Gilbert stayed where he was, closing the fridge softly behind him. Honestly he had no clue what could have upset his feathered friend.

"You're an egg stealer! How could you? Give the eggs back right now and promise not to steal anymore."

If the situation was not as serious for Matthew, Gilbert knew he would have laughed. But instead, he just smiled, holding out the carton of eggs he pointed to the logo. It was of a chicken with the words free ranged plastered on it.

"Vögelchen, come here. I'm not an egg stealer. These are chicken eggs that aren't fertile, meaning there is no baby inside the egg. You know about chickens right?" Gilbert watched Matthew as he spoke.

Straightening, from the crouched position Matthew was in, he slowly nodded his head as he made his way towards Gilbert. As the minutes ticked by, slowly he lost the feathers that sprouted from his initial shock and the talons receded. Once he felt comfortable enough, Matthew stepped forward to examine the eggs.

"D-Do humans eat eggs from other species too?" Matthew asked as Gilbert let Matthew examine the eggs while he continued to make breakfast.

"They do, but I don't. These eggs are plenty for me. Do you want some too?"

Gilbert started to heat up the stove, keeping a close eye on Matthew as he did so. The shifter shook his head as he hopped back onto the counter to swing his legs once again. The shifter was curious when the eggs started cooking, which made Gilbert wonder if perhaps he would try some after all. But Matthew said not another word, but he did hum a song or two while Gilbert finished cooking their breakfast. Gilbert had no recollection of the song, yet he found it familiar. It was soft and melodious, after the first few minutes he found himself humming along with Matthew. When the toast popped from the toaster and the eggs were finished, Gilbert wondered what he should put on the toast. If Matthew had no clue about eggs, then Gilbert doubted the shifter knew about utensils either, and so would just have to show him how to eat the bread with his hands for the time being.

"Have you had chocolate before?" Gilbert grabbed the jar of Nutella from the counter to show Matthew what he meant. Another shake of his head. "You're lucky you have me to show what food is totally awesome and which foods to stay away from Vögelchen. This is Nutella, you can put it on almost anything to make it sweet. It's called chocolate and this particular brand comes from where I live in Germany."

"C-Can I try some?" Matthew's amethyst eyes light up once again with a shine of curiosity. Gilbert couldn't help but chuckle at the reaction as he nodded his head.

"Go sit on the table. I'll bring it all over. Do you want something to drink?" Gilbert spread the hazelnut spread on the toast for himself and Matthew.

"Water please." Matthew hopped down from the counter to sit directly on the table, when Gilbert turned around to put the plates on the table he burst out laughing.

"Nein, nein. When someone tells you to sit on the table it means to sit in a chair around the table."

"Humans certainly are strange when it comes to their language. Why didn't you just say that in the first place?" Matthew cocked his head to the side in confusion, but did as he was bade the second time and took a seat on a chair.

"I don't know, English is weird. I've spoken it for many years now and found that the people who grow up learning English butcher it all the time. It's best not to even think about it for too long," Gilbert shrugged as he set the plates down. "Let me get the water, you can go ahead and start eating if you want."

Gilbert grabbed a mug for coffee and then a regular glass for water. Once both substances were in their rightful mugs, he placed the water in front of Matthew and took a sip of his coffee. The smell was familiar to him and he rather enjoyed the taste, but he wished he had creamer to put in it.

"What's that?" Matthew pointed to Gilbert's mug, the toast in the other hand and Nutella smeared across his face.

"It's called coffee and you're not getting any just yet. It's got caffeine in it and while I don't mind you trying things I would not have you bouncing all over the place on it while we look for clothes and food." Gilbert held onto his coffee rather protectively. It was the only thing he never shared, not even with Ludwig since it was the only substance that kept him awake during the long hours of work. Especially when certain office workers stole his cup from his desk, or stole the last bit of coffee he made in the pot he kept near his desk.

"Oh, okay." Matthew's shoulders hunched a bit as if he was closing himself off from the world. Gilbert sighed, knowing he should not have been so harsh, but then again it was coffee they were talking about.

"When you can stay in your human form a bit longer you can try some. Who knows what it will do to your little bird body." Gilbert tried to reason, knowing at this point he was just making up some sort of explanation in hopes Matthew would not be too upset about the whole ordeal.

Matthew nodded, his shoulders relaxing a little, but the rest of breakfast was silent except for the sounds of chewing and the occasional clink of a fork on a plate. After breakfast, Gilbert washed the dishes. But before he told Matthew they were going to put on different clothes to go, he cackled at the Nutella spread all over his face.

"Come here Vögelchen. You have Nutella all over. You can't go out looking like that." Matthew's face lit up a light red as he inched closer and let Gilbert take a paper towel to wipe his face clean.

"It was a little messy."

"Yeah, it can be, but it was good right?" Gilbert double checked to make sure he had gotten all the chocolate off as Matthew nodded, a smile on his face and curl bouncing. "Gut. Now let's get changed and head out to get you some clothes."

"Okay." Matthew took Gilbert by the sleeve of his arm and led him to the bedroom beaming proudly at where he had gotten the clothes he was wearing at the moment.

Gilbert found his clothes in disarray from the shifter scavenging through the clothes, but chose not to say a word. Instead, he silently picked up the clothes littered on the floor, shifting through them until he found a pair of jeans that might fit Matthew and found something for him to wear. Once he had the clothes, he dumped rest of his pile on the bed to be folded and put away nicely once they got back home.

"Here, just put on some jeans for now. The shirt doesn't look too bad." Gilbert tossed the blue denim in Matthew's direction.

The shifter caught it easily and started to put on the pants as Gilbert put on the shirt and jeans he found for himself on. Once dressed, the two were off to get the shopping done.

"I should probably let the landlord know you're staying with me. I don't want him to kick you out or something if I'm not around." Gilbert held open the door for Matthew and locked it before heading towards the elevator.

"Would he really do that?" Matthew moved slightly closer to Gilbert, the fear of him being an egg stealer gone and replaced with a new fear.

"Knowing him? Probably, but it won't come to that. I promise," Gilbert put on one of his usual grins which meant he had a plan. The company paid for his rent on the apartment, so what was wrong with having a roommate. The apartment had two bedrooms anyway, he just turned the other room into an office of sorts for the time being. If Matthew was planning on staying for a very long time, then he would redo the room to make it into a bedroom for the shifter. "I'll talk to be a little later about it."

Matthew nodded as the two headed out of the building, his day of learning to be a human only just beginning.

"Although Vögelchen, I have to ask something. How long can you stay in this form?" Gilbert asked as the two started on their way to the shop he had in mind for clothes.

"Since I changed only shortly before I woke you, I think I have about another two hours. It might be a bit more though. The polar bear who taught me explained that the more I shift the longer I can stay in a human form, but it takes a long time before I'll be able to stay the whole day as a human." Matthew clutched at Gilbert's shirt as people started to crowd around them on the sidewalk.

It was a normal busy day for New York which meant plenty of people walking around and cars stuck in traffic. Still, Gilbert was glad Matthew had the foresight of grabbing his clothes to keep from losing each other, but Gilbert really didn't want his shirt to stretch. While the thought was nice, it was really a terrible idea to try and keep together. Prying Matthew's death grip on his shirt, he held Matthew's hand instead as he led him through the endless throngs of people. Gilbert did not turn to look at Matthew. If anyone had a problem and voiced their opinion about the matter, Gilbert would knock their teeth out. Thankfully, the store was not too far from where he lived. It was just a matter of finding the owner. Stepping through a small group of business men, he brought Matthew into the store he had been looking for with a huff.

It was one of the hole in the wall stores considering all the random fast food places surrounding it. The store owner, who was French did not seem to find unless the smell of fast food permeated throughout his own store, making the expensive suits he had in the forefront of the store smell like grease. The inside was rather well kept, with the suits in front while the referred to as street clothes were kept in towards the back.

"I swear, when I'm done with this job I'm going to retire in the countryside." Gilbert ran a hand through his snow white hair. "Now, where is he?"

"Who?" Matthew explored the store with his eyes, choosing to stick close to Gilbert.

"The owner. His name is Francis and helped me pick out suits for business meetings. Of course he has more than just suits though the other clothes are towards the back of the store. He has the suits up front since a lot of business men come to him." Gilbert led them through the store until a French accent came wafting from the back of the store.

"Is that him?" Matthew asked as they happened upon Francis with another client who was trying on different clothes.

"Ja," Gilbert said, putting his hands on his hips as he grinned. "Franny!"

Francis stopped mid-sentence to look back. At first his face was set in a tight frown, but turned into a bright smile with a twinkle in his blue eyes when he saw Gilbert.

"Mon cher! It has been quite a while since I last saw you. I shall be with you in a moment. I just need to help him find a nice outfit for his date," Francis looked back at the customer, who turned a tomato red and started saying what Gilbert could only hear was a different language.

Gilbert nudged Matthew a little so the shifter could start looking at the clothes. If anything struck his fancy, Gilbert was sure Francis could find something to go with it.

"Go on, find anything you like. Francis will help you pick out outfits when he's done. Don't worry about money I got plenty of that for this." Gilbert gave his usual grin as Matthew stared at him with his owlish eyes once again.

"G-Gil I can't possibly just pick something and expect you to buy it," Matthew stared at the clothing. His eyes wandered over the material and Gilbert was unsure if perhaps the shifter thought one touch would ruin the clothes.

"How many times do I have to tell you? I'm doing this because I want to, besides you need to have clothes. You can't keep borrowing my things because I'm not exactly as tall as you," Gilbert pointed out as he held his hand up high to show Matthew there was a difference in their height.

"Okay," Matthew said as he started to sift through the clothing with dainty touches.

Gilbert watched quietly, leaning on the rack. It took Francis another ten minutes to help the customer before he came over to Gilbert. Nothing was said between the two at first. Gilbert knew Francis was trying to come up with his own conclusions of what was going on between Matthew and Gilbert. If anything, Gilbert was a bit curious to see what Francis was trying to decide upon. The two continued to watch Matthew touch a sleeve of a shirt, or brush his hands on the denim pants he found.

"Where did you find him?" Francis asked quietly so as not to disturb Matthew just yet.

"What do you mean Franny?" Gilbert glanced at Francis from the corner of his eyes. The Frenchman had a concerned look which did not please Gilbert in the least. Did Francis think Gilbert had just picked up a random stranger and thought to help them? He was nice, but not that nice.

"Did you just pick him off the street or something? Don't get me wrong, I don't care in the least, but I feel as if he should be wrapped up and pampered with the way he's touching the clothes." Francis crossed his arms as the two watched Matthew pull out a red hoodie that was at least a size bigger than him.

"He was at the park when I found him. He mistook me for someone he knew and so I let him crash at my place. Not like I don't have the room. Come to find out his only family, a brother, decided that it was time for him to be on his own or some bullshit like that. The dummkopf probably doesn't even know what Matthew got himself into to. Still, you're right about him needing to be wrapped up and coddled." Gilbert sighed.

He had not realised it until now that while it was in theory a good plan to let Matthew stay with him, Matthew was skittish and acted like a cornered frightened animal, which was not entirely off the mark. He would have to take things in strides with the young shifter. But seeing Matthew hold the hoodie in his hands and nod to himself, Gilbert felt the smile spread on his face.

"He needs a lot of coddling."

"Oui, then I shall help him as best as I can. You're paying of course, right?" Francis asked, a glint of mischief in his eyes as Gilbert slowly nodded, albeit a little hesitantly.

"Ja, but don't make me go broke. I still need to help pay for West's school back home." Gilbert leaned against the rack and watched as Francis nodded and went to work.

"Bonjour there. My name is Francis, what might your name be?" Francis asked politely, a friendly smile on his face as Matthew jumped a little at the sudden human interaction.

"Bonjour, je m'appelle Matthew." The shifter looked around Francis to make sure Gilbert was still in the area, to which Gilbert waved and gave him a thumbs up to tell Matthew Francis was harmless. Well, as harmless as any clothing designer could be when they found a subject to test their new clothes on.

"Oh you speak French?" France glanced back at Gilbert, eyes wide. Gilbert shrugged having not known Matthew was bilingual.

"Just a little. I picked it up when I was traveling through some parts of Canada," Matthew explained, thankfully leaving out that he was a bird when he learned how to speak it, or at least that's what Gilbert assumed.

"I see. It seems you have taken a particular interest in this hoodie. I can presume you like it?" Gilbert knew Francis was being as gentle as possible and he was glad he had come here. If it had been any other store, Gilbert was sure the clerk would be too much for the shifter to handle as of yet.

Matthew nodded at Francis. "Yeah, I like how it feels and the colour is pretty."

"I see, why don't I help you find the right size then? And perhaps even a pair of jeans to match it? Oh, I might have just the outfit after this as well. Do you mind?" Francis started sorting through the clothes as he hopped from one foot to the next in an attempt to contain his excitement when Matthew consented in being a dress up doll for the most part.

"Franny don't overdo it. I only have about forty minutes before we need to head out again," Gilbert called as he looked around for the usual chair Francis kept for customers who waited.

"Oui."

The next half hour, Matthew was herded into the changing room and passed clothing left and right to try different combinations until Francis found something he liked. Of course Gilbert made sure to keep Francis's attention on things that Matthew liked as well. For the most part, they kept the clothing style simple with several plaid shirts and jeans along with a few regular shirts and the red hoodie Matthew had liked. Francis attempted to get the shifter to wear a few other items which had looked profoundly adorable on Matthew, but Gilbert could tell the shifter was uncomfortable to say the least. So Francis gave up on trying to get him into a suit or into the tighter skinny jeans, but he made sure to show Matthew different outfits and gave the shifter pointers of what to put together for the future. Matthew seemed happy around the Frenchman, making Gilbert wonder if the two should hang out outside of Francis's work.

"Thanks again Franny," Gilbert said as he handed Matthew one of the three bags filled with clothes.

"It was not a problem, I assure you. Besides, he was adorable to dress up. I only wish I could put him into something more of designer type clothing besides the simple things he picked out," Francis said with a playful sigh as his eyes drifted toward Matthew who was examining the clothes at a nearby window, a bright smile on his face.

"Oi, don't get any ideas Franny. He's just an innocent kid still. Besides, my wallet thanks him for picking out simple things." Gilbert handed Francis his debit card as he took the remaining bags. With their hands already full with clothes perhaps it was best if they returned to the apartment and then headed back out to get the food.

"Non. Non. I would never do something he wouldn't consent to" Francis chuckled giving a wink as Matthew looked over at the two. "Besides, I'm pretty sure he has eyes on someone else at the moment."

"Oh? Who? It was just you and me in the-"

"Oui." Francis laughed before handing back the card. "But who am I to tell you? Best to wait till he says something."

"You obviously don't know anything about love Franny. He just mistook me for someone else is all and he just looks up to me. Li-like a little brother would, that's it. See, just like my West!" Gilbert laughed a little, but the smile he put on was tight and forced, nothing like his usual easy going grin.

"If you say so Gil. Just watch out when he confesses. Au revoir Mathieu."

"Au revoir." Matthew had wandered a bit towards the front of the store, looking out the large glass windows at the people walking past. "Is everyone always in a hurry?"

"Here in New York it sure seems that way, but not always. You've travelled so you should know that better than anyone." Gilbert patted Matthew gently on the head. It was a natural gesture and one Gilbert had meant to do since the moment the two had met. Matthew's hair looked soft and so easily played with.

"I guess. But I'm usually high up so I don't see what they're doing." Matthew leaned into the touch for a moment before stiffening. Gilbert took his hand away slowly in case it was because of his petting when he noticed Matthew had his eyes glued outside.

"What is it?" Gilbert scanned the area Matthew was looking. Nothing stuck out to him, but whatever or whoever was the cause of Matthew's stiffening, had the shifter shaking slightly beside him.

"Gil…"

Gilbert instinctively grabbed Matthew's hand, pulling him a little further back into the store. Francis gave him a questioning look but said nothing, instead he stared out the window to try and find the trouble. Even if Gilbert had not known Matthew in his human form for longer than a day or so, Gilbert knew he would have reacted the same way when that pleading voice broke at the one syllable. Whatever the danger, he would protect Matthew from it.

"What happened?" Francis had put a sign on the door declaring he was gone for lunch and locked the door. "No one can come in the door is locked."

Gilbert was glad Francis was so perceptive at times. He shrugged at the Frenchman who turned his attention to Matthew. The shifter held his hands closely to his chest. The trembling grew worse when there was a tug at the door, but it was well out of sight from the back of the store. Francis frowned refusing to move from his spot. Gilbert just hoped whoever it was would give up and go away.

"Vögelchen, you need to tell us what's going on. We can't help unless we know how." Gilbert placed a hand gently on Matthew's back, but it still startled the shifter terribly into a jump. "Mattie?"

"H-He…" Matthew closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Once he released the shaky breath, he continued. "One of the men outside. He's known to hunt and kill shifters. I've seen him once or twice before but usually from the sky. I-I think he knows Gil."

"Shifter? Gilbert what have you gotten yourself into?" Francis placed his hands on his hips as if demanding an answer, but Gilbert shook his head.

"Later Franny. Right now we need to make sure Matthew feels safe otherwise—"

Matthew knew if he didn't calm down he would shift, but with the threat looming so close, it scared him. Gilbert could feel the thudding of Matthew's heart as he started rubbing soothingly on his back, but it made no difference. Matthew doubled over with a small grunt and started to shift.

"—he'll shift." Gilbert finished the sentence and backed up a bit. He held out his arm in front of Francis to stop him from trying to reach Matthew who was already shifting under the shirt and jeans. Within the minute, a rather puffed up bird sat shivering in the pile of clothes.

"Mon dieu! Gilbert, h-he changed into a bird." Francis stood there blinking at Matthew, unable to move.

"Ja. He's a shifter. Apparently they have those around the world." Gilbert shrugged as Francis bent down to get a closer look at Matthew, but kept his distance for the time being.

"Around the world?" Francis sounded just like a parrot which made Gilbert want to laugh, but more pressing matters needed to be discussed.

"Matthew, do you think he knows what you are?"

A small chirp and a nod of his head confirmed Gilbert's fear.

"But how?"

Matthew stayed silent. Gilbert took it to mean there was no answer to his question. If that was the case, it meant they were at a disadvantage.

"Well, he can't come in here at least. The door is locked and if he breaks it then I'll call the police. Mon Petite, you are so small. May I hold you?" Francis asked as he inched closer. Matthew gave a small nod, having come to trust the man after the shopping ordeal.

While Francis continued to fawn over Matthew, Gilbert made his way to the wall where he could peek and look at the door. Perhaps if he could see who was going to be 'hunting' Matthew then he could better protect the shifter, but alas there was no one at the door.

"He's gone. For now anyway." Gilbert turned to see Francis snuggling a small distressed ball of fluff against his cheek. "Franny!"

"He's so cute and soft. How did you find him?" Francis finally lowered Matthew who ruffled his feathers and chirped at Gilbert. "I suppose he wants you?"

Gilbert made his way over to Matthew and lowered his head a little as he had the day before. Matthew chirped his thanks as he climbed atop Gilbert's head and nestled in his hair. A bemused smile lit Francis's face as heat rose to Gilbert's cheek.

"What?" Gilbert asked as he folded his arms, just waiting for Francis to say anything demeaning.

"Nothing, I just think it's adorable how you two seem to understand each other so well. Now then, back to the matter at hand. You said he's gone?" Francis asked as he checked his watch.

"Ja. There was no one at the door and no one standing around as far as I could see. Maybe he thought he made a mistake or something? Whatever the case, he's gone." Gilbert picked up Matthew's clothes and started folding them. An apologetic chirp came from Gilbert's head. "No need to be sorry."

"Oui. By the way Gilbert, I want a full explanation of how you really found Matthew sometime, for now though I think it is best you take him home with how much he's been through. I can stop by later with dinner if you want." Francis held open one of the bags with Matthew's new clothes to help Gilbert put away the shifters old ones.

"Why are you helping so much?" Gilbert was taken aback by how quickly Francis had taken to Matthew's change. While the Francis and Gilbert held casual conversations in the store while Francis helped him pick out suits, it had by far never escalated beyond client and customer.

"Gilbert, are you seriously asking me this question? How can I allow sweet Matthew, who allowed me to dress him up as I pleased suddenly face this danger and live alone with you? He needs someone who can speak French and become his friend too."

While the offer seemed too sincere, Matthew chirped on top of Gilbert's head. Gilbert, who glanced up, but could not see the shifter, sighed. If Matthew thought it would be fine it meant they had nothing to fear from Francis. Not to mention since the change had occurred ahead of schedule thanks to this hunter, Gilbert had not been able to go shopping for food.

"Alles klar. When do you think you'll be over?" Gilbert asked as he took the three bags of clothes into his hands.

"I'll be there around seven thirty. Oh, will you be eating as well Matthew, as a human?" Francis's face nodded at whatever answer Matthew gave him. Gilbert guessed it would have been a yes since he would be well rested by the time Francis arrived.

"Bis dan." Gilbert realised as he grew more anxious towards Matthew and his well-being, he was slipping more and more into his native tongue. Francis nodded as the small group headed to the front of the store, where Francis unlocked the door and allowed them to leave.

#fanfic: soleil #spazio writes #hetalia fanfiction #prucan

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wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey · 7 years

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opinion on P&P 2005 and Nutella

Ooh thanks @theamiableanachronism! SOAllow me to address Nutella first: Heavenly, to die for (almost I mean I am not that insane, just close). I discovered Nutella in college because my campus had a tiny food section in the book store and they had the containers of Nutella with little sticks to eat it on. I FELL IN LOVE. I mean hazelnut and chocolate?! Perfection! And now I put it on toast or English muffins and I buy the Ben and Jerry's where there is a cylinder of Nutella in the middle of the ice cream and I also put it in smoothies sometimes to change things up from peanut butter. I love NutellaNOW. Pride and Prejudice 2005:OH BOY. Ok first I want to say that I don't hate the movie, just cordially dislike it. There are many great elements--gorgeous music, Jane is beautiful, Bingley is kinda of cute like a puppy (though come on that hair is a little ridiculous), and that scene of Bingley practicing his proposal to Jane with Darcy is adorable. And um...idk that hand thing every on talks about is also cool...Now for the things I dislike. Keira Knightley's portrayal of Elizabeth. I am not really talking about physical appearance here but her attitude. Elizabeth in the books has a lively wit and brains and yes I wouldn't say she is thrilled with all the mores of society but she still manages to function within it, to push boundaries without breaking them, expanding instead of destroying. And maybe I am being inaccurate, maybe I am picking up on vibes that don't really exist, but in PnP 2005 I feel like Keira's Lizzie tries to be overly rebellious and outspoken? Like the filmmakers saw a character who does not blindly follow the expectations of the time and who thinks for herself and they just kind of overdid it? Like they thought they had to make Lizzie more clearly a free spirit or whatever, because otherwise the modern audience might not like her as much or understand where she is coming from. And I do get the intent, but it just feels off to me. Yes, that is part of the problem. Some of the movie seems too modern, or too ridiculous. Like take that alternate ending where Lizzie and Darcy are seated outside at night and she is telling him what endearment he may use. She says he can call her "my pearl" on Sundays, like ok. But then she says he can call her "goddess divine, but only on very special occasions." GODDESS DIVINE I CAN'T BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA REALLY????? *DEEP BREATH* ok look here I mean where in the book where oh where do we see Lizzie ever saying anything like this?! I mean you can maybe argue that Lizzie does like being witty and she is being sarcastic here but the way Keira says it, it feels halfway sincere? OMG ALSO CAN YOU PICTURE MR. DARCY OF THE BOOK CALLING ELIZABETH HIS GODDESS DIVINE BLEH OMG IF I HAD A DRINK I WOULD BE SNORTING IT THROUGH MY NOSEAlso that same scene they discuss when Darcy can call Lizzie Mrs. Darcy. And she says it will be when he is perfectly incandescently happy. Like girl I am pretty sure he will call you Mrs. Darcy pretty much all the time unless it is just the two of you or just you and a few close friends because social norms? Ok I'll shut up about this because it is an alternate ending and probably doesn't count...Ooh but Mr. Bennett. You know at first in the book he amused me because yeah he is sarcastic and I love sarcasm. But as you go along you realize that his wit can be cruel and that while he does love Lizzy he really is not a great husband and father. And if he (and the mother) had been slightly better parents then the lives of their daughters would have been better and maybe the whole thing with Wickham would never have happened. And u feel like the 2005 version downplays the faults of Mr. Bennett and makes him softer than he really isAlso while I do like the idea that Darcy may also have been socially awkward this movie just really plays up the idea of him being shy and takes away from the fact that in the beginning he actually is a snob and a bit cold-hearted. That he actually has faults (and being shy is not necessarily a fault though it may be a hinderance) and that he has to overcome his faults and be a better man. ALSO what was up with the Bennett's messy house? I mean sure it is an interesting aesthetic and yes in the book we know that Mr. Bennett does not have money saved but it is not because he is on the poorer side and can't keep pigs from running in the kitchen. I took a Jane Austen book and film class a few years ago and we sat down and went over how much money everyone had and Mr. Bennett had a fairly good income--his main problem was he didn't know how to invest it, and thus had nothing set aside for his wife and daughters in the event of his death. And I just thought that was really interesting, but it is lost in the 2005 adaption. Ugh there are a ridiculous amount of historical inaccuracies too...all little things but on top of everything else they disturb me Also Wickham who is Wickham? Basically I remember he had a pretty face but that is it? Like he is a huge part of the story and because of the movie format his role (and many other things) got drastically shortened. *sighs**tldr: Pride and Prejudice 2005 isn't the worst movie or book adaption in the world and can be enjoyable to watch, as long as you can stop yourself from comparing it to the book or to the 98% perfect 1995 mini-series

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emilyslifeinlondon · 7 years

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Wednesday March 17th-Thursday March 30th

I have officially finished my first block of classes! 6 weeks finished, and 6 more to go. I can’t believe how quickly the time has passed.

Some of the things I’ve done over the past few weeks:

-London Eye at night 🎡 -Met Daniel Radcliffe aka Harry Potter!!! ⚡️ -Maltby Market -Drinks at The Shard 🍸 -Ice Bar ❄️ -Harry Potter Studio Tour

After not being let onto the London Eye a few weeks ago (our reservation was for 6:00 pm and we arrived at 5:59 pm), we decided to go one night. The London skyline was beautiful, but due to the glare from the glass pods the pictures didn’t turn out nearly as well as I had hoped. Nonetheless, it was nice booking the London Eye in the evening since I had done it in the afternoon two years ago.

On March 20th, Becca and I went to see Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead at The Old Vic. I had read the play in high school, and was familiar with Hamlet so I was able to get most of the humor. However, the play was weird (which I knew it would be). Becca hadn’t heard of the play and we both really went to see it since Danielle Radcliffe was playing Rosencrantz; she feel asleep about halfway through the play and I was trying not to laugh. I got a gin & tonic and some mint chocolate ice cream which made the play all the more enjoyable. Afterwards, we waited in line outside of the theatre with our tickets for 15 minutes or so and finally got to meet Daniel! I was getting nervous and Becca told me to play it cool, but I couldn’t quite remember my words for a few seconds so I let others line up before me. Daniel was so down to earth and just a really nice person in general. Almost every night, he spends the time meeting everyone who came to see the play as well as others who just want to meet him. I was star struck and got a few pictures with him. He also signed my play ticket! It was such an amazing night and I remember leaving the theatre with a huge smile on my face being giddy with Becca; after all, we had met the boy who lived!

Em and I spent the following weekend exploring some of the many markets within London. One of my favorites was Maltby Market. I got some mediocre cod and chips, but loved the Dhan eggs that I got. This snack is a mix between a donut, waffle, and cake that you can add toppings to. I got 4 eggs topped with Nutella, lavender honey, and caramel. They were delicious and came in a little egg carton, which was aesthetically pleasing and insta-worthy. We ended up at The Shard and went to The Aqua Shard for drinks; it was a beautiful, clear day so the views were amazing. We looked over Thames and London Bridge. I asked for and ended up getting ‘the sweetest drink that they had’. I really enjoyed it and am glad, since it was £19.00! Yikes. They also had a £900.00 bottle of wine and Em and I thought about splitting it. 😏 Not really, but it’s nice to dream.

On Tuesday, a handful of us went to the Ice Bar in London. I had heard of it and looked up pictures and it looked really cool (get it, lol). It was a lot smaller than I had expected, but the jackets and gloves they gave us were perfect for the experience. The drinks were served in glasses made of ice, and yes I was definitely cold in there. After our reservation ended, we went to some club and got free shots, and then went to Zoo Bar. I hate tequila but I had 3 shots since they’re more inexpensive than some drinks and get ya to that good point, if you know what I mean. 😬 Almost everyone in our program ended up there that night, so that was pretty cool. Em and I got McDonald’s before getting on the bus home which was delicious. I’m always down for nuggets and fries, or rather chips.

Yesterday, Becca, Natalie, and I went to The Harry Potter Studio Tour. Until then, I had not left zones 1 and 2, and this place was located in zone 8 which tells you how far it was. We took the tube, a train, and a bus to get there. We were late but still had 2 hours to walk around. I hadn’t realized that the dining hall scenes as well as many of the others had been filmed here! One second you’re in Dumbledore’s office and you turn around and you’re in Snape’s potion class. Some of the magic is lost when you see how small the sets actually are, but it was so cool seeing the actually props, costumes, and sets from the series. Some of the highlights were: 4 Privet Drive, the Weasley’s blue car, Platform 9 ¾, Diagon Alley, and Hermione’s dress from the Yule Ball. I had some butterbeer ice cream and chips for dinner. How healthy. I also bought a chocolate frog and hope there’s a Dumbledore card in there!

After getting back a little before 10:30 pm, I was running around frantically trying to finish my Trans-Atlantic paper, pack, and figure out my fall courses. I went to bed a little after 2:00 am so I was exhausted after having to wake up at 7:15 am for class. I got McDonald’s after class which was just what I needed, said bye to Becca, and headed to the airport. I’m off to Greece (Athens, Santorini, and Mykonos) until Wednesday so my next post will be all about my Grecian adventures! 🇺🇾

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askfornoguarantees-blog · 7 years

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Paris

This past weekend we traveled with our program to Paris for 3 days. We took a EuroStar train under the channel early Friday morning and got to Paris around 1 pm. I always get confused with the one hour time difference between the UK and Europe but at least it’s a lot easier then figuring out the 5 hour time difference between London and the US. Going in and out of Britain is a lot more time consuming than I thought it would be because of border control, customs, and security. I thought that traveling between the UK and Europe would be really easy but the UK is a lot more strict about immigration and who comes in and out of the country. Everyone says that it’s because of Brexit but that isn’t even official yet and I’m pretty sure the UK has always been like this and it’s not some new policy change. Either way, the lines to get on a train, plane, or bus to leave or enter the country are always very long and frustrating.

When we got to Paris, our metro transportation was already taken care of in the original price of the trip which was really nice because we just got unlimited passes for the weekend. The metro isn’t as nice or clean or quiet as the tube but it was definitely efficient and ran much quicker than the tube. We checked into our hotel, which was actually really nice, but of course there was some sort of confusion and me and Maeg’s room was the only room not ready. We just left our bags in Sammie’s room and went on the guided walking tour with our tour guide David (the same one we had for Stonehenge/Bath). It was one of the most pointless tours I have ever taken. He stopped at the Arc de Triomphe for about 2 minutes and wouldn’t let us go up it. Instead he kept walking and decided to focus on some of the shops in that area including Abercrombie and Fitch- because obviously that is really important to see when you’re in Paris. We did stop at this cute little cafe for lunch and I essentially got a warmed up loaf of bread stuffed with olives and cheese for 3 euro. I still have dreams about that bread.

It was so rainy and miserably cold that we were already in bad moods but the fact that he did not want to stop at any of the “major tourist attractions” because “anyone can do that in France” was so unbelievably annoying. I spent $360 so that I could see the main attractions in France, not American stores that you can see anywhere in any mall in the US. We slowly (and I mean really slowly because this tour guide walked at the pace of a snail) made our way to the Seine where we were getting on a boat to see Paris from the water. I remember doing this when I went to Paris a few summers ago and all I can say is that it is much more enjoyable in nice weather than in cold, wet weather. We were so cold by the end of it that once we got off, we ran into the nearest restaurant we could find just to warm up. The restaurant we chose ended being a little French place in the Latin Quarter that had a “tourist menu” where you could get an appetizer, entree, and dessert for 10 euro. Of course we all opted for that and also ordered a bunch of wine for the table. That dinner was as fun as the tour had been miserable. I’m pretty sure everyone there thought of us as obnoxious Americans but none of us really cared because we were laughing too much and having a good time. It was me, Maegan, Sammie, Rupali, Constance, Charlie, and Ben that mainly hung out together on this trip.

After dinner, everyone wanted to go out but I was so tired that I ended up taking a nap and by the time I woke up I had no desire to drink anymore. We met up with our friend Allie who is studying abroad in Paris and she took us to some really cool bars (one of them, they lit the bar on fire for half of their drinks) but they were so expensive that I didn’t end up buying anything. A double vodka soda was 15 euros and I tried Sammie’s but it was so strong that it burned the back of my throat so that was really unappealing. We still had a lot of fun though and of course got ham and cheese crepes on the way home. In the morning, we had to wake up early for another fabulous walking tour. Thankfully it only went until 2pm and then the rest of the day way ours. He took us through a bunch of back streets to see a little bit of Paris but again, he didn’t even take us to cool places. At one point we ended up at a very generic shopping plaza where he stopped to tell us that it’s where all the teenagers come to hang out. Like cool dude no one cares?? Unfortunately it was still really rainy and cold too so all of us were ready to get away from our awful tour guide.

The rest of the day ended up being really fun though. We walked a total of 12 miles and went everywhere from Notre Dame to the Louvre to the Arc de Triomphe to the top of the Eiffel Tower. We ate Croque Madames and Nutella crepes and macroons (basically all carbs) and did our best to stay warm and dry. I brought the wrong student ID so instead of getting into the Louvre for free it ended up costing me 15 euro. It was kind of a waste of money because I had been there before and my friends really only wanted to go see Mona Lisa (aka the most underwhelming painting of all time), but it is one of the most famous museums in the world and who knows when I’ll be back so I felt obligated to go. Paying money to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower was absolutely worth the money though. We waited in very long lines and it took a while to get to the top but once we did it was totally worth it. By the time we got to the top it was completely dark out, but all of Paris was lit up and beautiful. I made sure to stand in the middle of the elevator on the way up and had my friends stand in a circle around me because I was shaking so much from my fear of heights. I could literally feel my stomach in my throat. Ben was just as nervous as me though so we just talked to each other as a distraction and tried our best not to look down or up, just out.

When we finally got to the top, however, it was really breathtaking. You could see all the streets and houses and buildings for miles. At one point I caught myself asking “I wonder if you can see the Eiffel Tower from here”, which Charlie immediately made fun of me for. I tried to FaceTime as many people as possible while I was up there including my dad and brother but the connection was pretty bad so the conversations didn’t last long. I just wanted to share the view with the people back home. We stayed up there for a while taking in the beauty of everything, but at some point we started getting hungry and cold and realized we needed to eat. We stopped at a cute French restaurant not far from the Eiffel Tower where I got a truffle risotto that was literally to die for. It melted in my mouth and I’m pretty sure I finished it in about 5 bites. Since the Eiffel Tower sparkles for 5 minutes at the top of every hour starting at 6pm, we decided to finish dinner early and go watch the light show. We grabbed some crepes to enjoy during it and then just sat staring at this beautiful, beautiful monument sparkle in the night. It really was mesmerizing and as Ben and I found out, if you stared at it hard enough, the Eiffel Tower itself faded away from view and all you could see were the lights in the shape of the Eiffel Tower. Those lights alone explain why Paris is called the City of Love.

After walking over 20,000 steps, we all decided that it would probably be best not to go out that night and just get some sleep for the next day. Maeg and I watched some BBC news (the only channel that wasn’t in French) and passed out. We had to wake up pretty early because we had bought tickets to get a tour of Versailles. Our tour guide told us to meet in the lobby at 9am but of course he didn’t show up until 9:30 and we didn’t leave the hotel until closer to 10. I’m not kidding when I say that this guy was the most inefficient, aloof tour guide I had ever met. When he finally got to Versailles, he informed us that the government in fact had made entry into the palace free for that particularly day so our official group tour had been canceled and we would be refunded. (We later learned from our friend Allie that Versailles is free every Sunday so there was no reason for us to pay for it in the first place). We then had to wait in an hour long line just to get into the palace.

Waiting in line wasn’t actually too bad because the weather had warmed up a little and the 7 of us were trying to come up with fun conversation topics. We talked about everything we could think of, most notably different conspiracy theories that we knew about. We finally got into the palace and made our way through the luxurious rooms. The best parts, however, were the gardens. It was acres and acres of beautiful ponds and trees and artistically trimmed bushes. We probably strolled around for an hour and a half just enjoying the beautiful scenery and the nicest weather that we had experienced in 3 days. We then slowly made our way back to our hotel (it was over an hour away from Versailles) and got ready to take the train back to London. Our tour guide said to meet in the lobby at 6pm (which we were all on time for) but of course he didn’t show up until 6:45pm. Which made us super later to the train; you’re supposed to check in a minimum of an hour before departure and we got there 10 minutes before that deadline. Once we checked in, we had to wait in a 45 minute long border control/passport check line. It was taking so long that we were actually nervous about missing our train. Luckily because the line was so bad they opened up a few more windows and things started to move much quicker.

Once we got to the other side, our tour guide was no where to be found and we had to find out where we were supposed to be by ourselves. Right before we boarded the train, our tour guide showed up. He is literally the worst, I hope I never have to see him again. The train was then delayed 30 minutes because the checkin line had been so long so we got back to London even later then expected and then we had to take a 25 minute tube right back to our apartment. Traveling this much two weekends in a row was absolutely exhausting and while both weekends were so fun, I am really happy to be home for 2 weekends. All of us agreed that we were very homesick- not for our American homes, but for London. We are all so in love with London and it felt really good to be back.

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