#I don't know why I made you obsessed with spoons I just did

[adeadlightbulbuwu]

I LOVE THE IDIOTS THAT LIVE IN MY BRAIN AND THEY TOLERATE ME

#I'm sorry I gave you so much trauma I promise it's not even half of what it was 5 years ago #oc stuff #I'm sorry I made you so dense #I know I gave you an alcohol problem #But before you were a 16 year old with religious trauma #At least now you're in your 30s and can deal with it a bit better #I don't know why I made you obsessed with spoons I just did #You gave “I have a spoon collection” energy I can't help it #Yeah I know you lost both of your legs but you gained ✨personality✨ #I'm sorry I left you up in a tower for 20 years It wasn't on purpose (it was) #Why are all of you gay #Most #Most of you gay #Most all of these are different oc's by the way

[alastorss]

brother i still have no idea how tumblr works and this is my first request and it might not even be in the right place but—

why does NO ONE talk about the fact that “Allie” would be such a silly nickname for Alastor? i would love to see some headcanons/a lil story about how he would react to the reader calling him that. maybe completely detests it at first but secretly likes it?

a/n: hello lovely, you've come to the right place 🫶 yes yes yes!!! i'm obsessed with this idea <3 i'm adding to this: he would think you're mad at him when you finally call him normally again ^ ^

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

"What did you say?"

"Huh?" You hum, attention devoted to fixing Alastor's bowtie.

"That thing you just said. Repeat it."

You finally blink at him, using your palms to smooth out the front of his jacket before stepping out of his bubble. "I said your tie was undone."

"No, dear, before that."

The Radio Demon can feel his eye twitching in irritation. You look at him again dumbly, trying to retrace your steps.

"Oh!" You flash him a little smile and he thinks his brain is going to explode. "Allie?"

He just gawks at you, surprised by the sheer audacity you have. And it doesn't help that he's so fond of you that he doesn't even want to strike you down.

Had it been someone else calling him so endearingly, he might have done something violent. But how could he do that to you, his darling companion, when you look so sweet calling him such a ridiculous name?

"My apologies but... where did that come from?"

"Isn't it cute?" You grin, completely dodging his question.

No, he wants to say. Absolutely not. However, your smile is ever-growing and he can't very well deny you this pleasure. So he sucks it up, draws in a deep inhale to compose himself, and nods.

"Of course, cher."

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Weeks pass and the rest of your friends in the hotel begin to raise a brow at how casually you address such a powerful Overlord. And more than that, he doesn't seem to want to correct you.

It becomes his name reserved exclusively for you. Angel had tried, once, to purr out Allie in a seductive way that made Alastor's skin crawl. Never again.

He gets used to it. Even likes the idea that there is something shared between you that no one else can have. That is, until you're pushing around your breakfast on a plate one morning.

"Can you pass the salt, Alastor?"

He looks up from his mug of coffee in confusion, brain taking a moment to buffer before it catches up with his already moving mouth.

"Alastor?" He repeats his own name, staring at you intensely and most definitely not passing the salt over the table.

You look back up at him blankly. "That's your name, don't wear it out."

He scoffs at your lame joke before sliding the salt shaker over the table. There's something unsettling him and he can't quite place it.

Setting down his newspaper, he watches you as you eat. His gaze is so fiery that you look up from your food almost instantly.

"What's wrong?"

"Are you alright? Have I done something to upset you?"

Your brows scrunch. "No, why?"

"Why did you not call me Allie?"

Complete and utter silence settles over the dining table until he feels like he can't breathe. Your spoonful of food hovers just in front of your open mouth as you stare.

Then, laughter. Laughter fills the room and his ears so heartily that he feels it in his own chest. You double over the table in your fit, spoon clinking onto the plate as you drop it.

"What?" He grumbles.

"Of course I'm not mad at you!" You howl, using a finger to wipe up the tears gathering in your eyes. "'Sides, I thought you hated that name?"

His jaw grows taut. "Hate is a powerful word."

"So you like it?"

"Absolutely not!"

"Liar, you do!"

Alastor is never one to get flustered, but here he is for the first time in his afterlife, teetering on the edge of bursting out in flames. "You are terrible, you know that?"

You snicker, leg getting trapped between his under the table. "Yeah, Allie, I know."

Yet the way his smile softens says it all.

~

taglist: @the-lake-is-calling @dragons-and-dwarves-are-nice @averylonelysea @bri22222 @cxrsedwxrlds @amarokofficial @anae-naea-zacheria @for-hearthand-home @fantasy-is-best @angixyc (send an ask to be added!)

#🍓 faye's thoughts <3 #alastor #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin alastor #hazbin x reader #alastor fanfic #alastor fanfiction #alastor fic #alastor headcanons #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor x you #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin #hazbin hotel fanfic #hazbin hotel headcanons

[daenysx]

Hii can you write where james and reader are both the only virgins in the group so decided to do it together to get it over with but then they started to do it more often bcs james is absolutely obsessed with her.

thank you for requesting, i hope you like this! requests are open!!

james potter x fem!reader, nsfw

becoming experts

james thinks maybe he should be embarrassed.

here he is, knocking on your door, standing at your doorstep with your favorite dessert in his hand. this is the third time in this week, and it won't be the last. he fixes his posture, puts a little smile on his face, and knocks on your door again. he is fine.

you open the door, wearing only your sleep shorts and a little tank top, which is both a blessing and a curse for james's poor heart. your hair seems a little messy, your face without any make up, and you look beautiful. your lips curve upwards when you see james at your doorstep, you are quick to pull him inside.

"hi, sweetheart." james says as he steps inside. "i hope this is not a bad time."

you look at him like he's said the silliest thing in the world. "come on, jamie, you know there's no such a thing as bad time for you."

"yeah, yeah, i'm glad." why is he acting so out of character? suddenly he's shy, blushing when you point at his hand.

"is that for me?" you ask, kind of shy but more comfortable than him.

he nods. "of course, there you go."

he gives you the box and you take it with a huge smile on your face. "thank you!"

james's heart takes a leap.

you lead him inside, your little living room looks cozy with all those blankets spread on your couch and the warm air covering the room. you take the dessert with two spoons, sitting on the couch and inviting james next to you. he takes off his jacket and kicks his shoes, sits next to you, hoping to be less awkward in the next moments of this act.

"would you like something to drink?" you ask.

james shakes his head. "no, maybe later."

you nod, taking a spoonful of your dessert. "this is perfect. literally the best thing in the world, thank you so much."

james laughs. "you're welcome, angel."

you look at his unused spoon. "why don't you eat?"

he doesn't know. his mouth is dry, he should get a grip on himself. "i'm-"

your lips look perfect around that spoon.

"you've got chocolate- here." he leans into your space slowly.

you smile, his fingers cup your cheek. "this is so cliche."

"you think so?" he whispers.

"you know," you begin. "if you want to kiss me, all you have to do is ask."

james leans back on the couch, suddenly free of shyness to jump on the opportunity. "what if i want more than just a kiss?"

"i'm sure we can do something about that." you take another spoon of chocolate sauce.

"oh, baby." james says, pulling you to his lap. "come here."

your hands are empty, you move quickly to him. your legs are on each side of his thighs and you sit gently. "how do you feel?" he asks, holding your hands.

"i'm fine. really, really good."

"you sound unnaturaly teasing. i thought that was supposed to be me."

you shrug. "i don't know, you act weird today. it's not like this is the first time we're being this close."

the best night of james's life was probably the night he'd spend at your apartment, in your bed. you were naked, so was he, the wine was kicking like a liquid courage as you had sex for the first time. you could expect weirdness between you two, you were both each other's first time and you had been friends for years, but it never happened. it felt so good and so right, james lost himself between your legs and you made sounds that you've never made before.

you were both inexperienced, subject of sirius's little teasings and remus's sympathetic looks when it comes to stuff about sex. you don't know how did things happened as they have that night, but suddenly you were kissing james. you could be afraid if this would ruin your friendship but at that moment everything was so good, you could never imagine the act could ever feel like this.

since that night, james had been to your apartment once more. he was just trying to make sure everything's okay between you and your friendship still stands. then, he was taking off his clothes and you were leaning towards him. you took his cock in your mouth for the first time and james forgot everything except your name.

now, here you are, trying to balance yourself on james's lap, keeping yourself still to not press against him. "james," you say. "it's okay. i- i want you too."

james throws his head back, his hands still holding yours. he looks at you through his glasses and smiles. "i just want you to feel good."

"i'm always feeling good when i'm with you." you say, honestly. "i think we fit each other really well and i- i want it, with you."

"yeah?" james pulls you closer. "you want it, pretty girl?"

you nod. james continues. "i guess we've got addicted." he says like it's a secret. "but that's okay. we can keep going as long as you're good with it."

you start the kiss and james exhales, finally. he cups your cheeks, angles your neck to deepen the kiss. you taste sweet, he licks the chocolate left on your lips. you whimper quietly, feeling him harden under you. this is good, you think. this is so perfect, it doesn't feel any wrong.

james's hands go to your back and he rubs your skin affectionally. he breaks the kiss to brush his lips on your pulse point. you take a breath, holding onto his shoulders. "james." you say. "i wanna go to bed."

he obliges, lifts you easily, and carries you to your bedroom. he is gentle when he puts you on bed, you are quick to take off your clothes. you are not shy to be naked around him, he makes you feel safe. you throw your clothes somewhere on the floor and settle down on bed, watching james.

he looks at you, eyes focused, and mouth slightly open. is he dreaming? this surely is better than any dream, you are lovely as you lay there and wait for him.

he doesn't intend to tease you or make you wait. you've been so honest and sweet with him, you deserve to get what you want. james makes a quick work of his clothes, leaving everything on the floor until he is bare in front of you. he gets on his knees on bed and reaches you. you part your legs obediently, without expecting a word from him.

"you're so pretty, sweetheart." james says, fondly. "you know that, right?"

you squirm under his hands. "jamie, please."

"you should know that." he says, kisses your chest. "you should be aware of the power you have on me."

you shake your head. "it's mutual, and you're being silly."

"let me be romantic for a second, yeah?" he kisses your perked nipple. "fuck, gonna give you everything you want."

"please." you say, losing your breath when he sucks your nipple. he likes using his mouth on you, you realize. he slowly goes down on your body and you laugh when he kisses below your belly button.

"tickles?" he asks, ever so playful.

you nod. "will you do it again?"

he answers by kissing the same spot over and over, turns you into a mess under his mouth. his fingers are quick to touch your cunt, he collects the wetness that starts pooling and rubs it all over. "will you let me taste you?" he asks, begging for a yes. "i wonder if you taste so sweet everywhere."

"you- i guess you can, if you want." you arch your back, subtly press your cunt against his mouth.

"if i want? i'm dying for it."

he buries his face between your legs, tries to get directing noises out of you. he's not experienced but he finds himself to be a quick learner when it comes to you. he licks the wetness out of you and pushes his tongue inside. you wrap your legs around his neck, the sensation is so strange but suddenly it starts feeling good. you remember the second time you had sex and how you felt insatiable to take his cock in your mouth. he must feel that way right now, you think, because he never stops making those wild noises as he uses his mouth.

james sucks your clit relentlessly. you whimper, his name becomes a song. he grips your thighs and holds you in your place. "james- so close- so clo- hmm-"

he lifts his head just for a second. "come for me, lovely girl. let go for me, this is perfect."

you obey, arch your back as he sucks again, and you're dripping in his mouth. james keeps licking, helps you through your peak. you feel so tired, so exhausted, so naked, and it's good. james keeps you steady, his cock twitches at the sight of your cunt, all swollen and licked.

"are you okay, baby?" he coos. "we can stop."

you shake your head. you can't stop because he's addictive. "i want you inside." there's no crumb of shyness left. "please, i want it."

james angles you to be more comfortable, he rubs the skin of your thigh. "gotta be slow, okay?" he says.

you nod, messy and desperate. "however you want."

he positions his cock in just the right way. he is being slow and quiet as he keeps pushing, he knows it's a tight fit. when you clench around him he can't help himself, he goes a little fast. "oh, angel." he whispers, mouth closed on your neck. he pushes himself again. "so tight, just like the first time i got you like this. you're gonna make me come soon if you squeeze around me like that."

you part your legs a little more, holding onto his broad shoulders. "i like this so much. so full, jamie."

james starts moving inside you, still careful but easier. you try to move your hips accordingly, it's like a new dance both of you are trying to learn better. he is worried he'll come too soon, because you're being irresistable.

"can you touch me- right, right there?" you ask, position his fingers on your clit.

"yeah, yeah, of course."

his fingers play with you until you start begging for him to come. he keeps pushing himself until he can't see straight anymore. "can i come? james, can i come again?" you melt, so close and so wet, you can hear the wetness pooling on bed.

"yes, come on, sweet thing." he pushes the deepest he's ever been, you clench so hard, he starts coming. "come with me."

you are sure you lose your sight for a second. james explodes on your belly, his strength helps him pull himself back before coming inside you but he keeps playing with your clit so you clench around him and nothing as you come. you see him, you see stars, you feel so sensitive. james groans as he holds his cock to let out every drop of his cum. he exhales your name, desperate to lay down with you on the bed. you are quick to pull him on your chest, he puts his head on your body, and listens your heartbeat.

minutes pass in silence as you both catch your breaths. james rubs your skin with gentle fingers. you stroke his curls, and press a kiss on his forehead.

"i think we're getting pretty good at this." you say, smiling.

"yeah, i guess we are quite the experts of sex now." he says. "can you imagine sirius's reaction?"

"oh, he'd probably never believe it." you say. "but that's fine."

james sits on bed. "would you like to have shower? we've made quite the mess of each other."

you nod, reach for his hand as you sit next to him. "jamie," you begin, "there's no one else that i'd rather do this with. you're- you're the only one for me."

james smiles, kisses your forehead lovingly. "i'd hope so, sweetness." he gives your hand a squeeze. "you're the only one for me, as well."

♡

(you can check here to find out about sirius and remus's reactions lovelies.)

#james potter #james potter x reader #james x you #james x reader #james potter x you #marauders #marauders smut #james potter one shot #james potter imagine #james potter smut #james potter fluff #james potter fic #james potter fanfiction #marauders one shot

[animentality]

Dude I'm so confused

Why are the redditors refugees here-

Whats up with the tag 196

AND WHY IS EVERYONE BEING SO NICE WITH THE TWITTER REFUGEES CAME WE GAVE THEM HELL (almost)

The Reddit refugees are here because several subreddits have gone private in protest of reddit's new policy of charging third party developers for access to its API.

Hence the term reddit blackout.

196 specifically was a very queer friendly subreddit that had one rule: that you post before you leave. 196 is trending because those Redditors have come here and they're basically sharing their memery here instead as they protest reddit's greed.

As for why we're welcoming them when Twitter refugees were seen with a little more irritation, well.

Think of the culture similarities.

Tumblr and reddit have far more in common than Tumblr and Twitter.

Twitter is about clout and manipulating algorithms and discourse in 280 characters or less. It's about bad takes that reach the right people and it forces you to see things you don't want to see and it's crawling with the worst people imaginable and you're forced to see them, all the time. They also brought bad tagging and 2016 Tumblr discourse with them, because Twitter culture really involves starting fights for clout and braindead opinions that no one really wants to come back to Tumblr culture.

There was a time when Tumblr did the same thing, but worse, with more words...but nowadays, it's really calmed down.

The worst people...went to Twitter after the porn ban. Ironically, it made the site less toxic and hostile.

But then they came back.

And it was like...hm. no thanks. Stay back where you came from.

But Tumblr and Reddit have much more in common.

Both have a more streamlined way of customizing your online feed. You can choose what subreddits you see on your home screen, just like Tumblr only shows you the content of your followers, on your dashboard, and in chronological order rather than what's trending. You can join a very specific weird niche group of freaks with a shared obsession, and not care about the rest of the site at all. You also don't have a character limit on either site, which lets you ramble more and share weird detailed stories.

Reddit might have karma, but like Tumblr, the majority of people are lurkers and not posters. It also allows you to downvote bad opinions, and moderators who have to adhere to certain guidelines of behavior, which means a lot of banning disruptive people.

Granted, sometimes their mods are power hungry, but. You know.

It does more to control its users than Tumblr do, and that's a good thing in terms of keeping toxicity and illegal shit off its subs.

Reddit also has a way more leftwing attitude than you would think.

It has a reputation for being full of incels but I honestly think that's outdated.

It's cleaned up its act quite a bit since the old days.

I see way more vile shit from Twitter and TikTok. Like seriously.

Twitter is crawling with conservative bots and propaganda machines and just outright inflammatory lies. TikTok literally has the worst comment sections I've ever seen, like edgy teenagers cracking racist and misogynistic humor and acting like it makes them different and special. Its algorithm also spoon feeds you garbage and is designed to be as addicting as possible.

At least reddit's culture, while chauvinistic and regressive in certain subcultures, is mostly on the tech positive, atheist libertarian side.

It can be a little pretentious and caustic about certain subjects, and a little full of itself. Some reddits are also very male leaning and disregard female concerns in favor of moaning about how men have it worse than anyone else on earth.

But for the most part?

...well.

I welcome them here, because if they left reddit in protest, then we always support protests. But 196 specifically is also a queer subreddit, and we support that even more.

Plus they're funny as fuck.

What's not to like, really?

You should welcome them with open arms too.

#reddit blackout #196

[punkitt-is-here]

How can I cultivate the same, "just keeping making stuff all the time" kind of energy you have? It's very impressive and something I wish I could do!

well, theres a couple reasons i think! one is that i just found ways to be satisfied with small amounts of work. its in part because of my ADHD, but my parents were always trying new things (motorcycles, leatherwork, acrylic paint, collage art, photography, video editing) so that definitely rubbed off on me; i had a great example of people just wanting to try stuff. i keep making stuff all the time because i love trying out new things; you don't have to be an expert to try something new! you just have to have a desire for it! wanna make a zine? google it! wanna write a comic? give it a shot! wanna get into woodworking? buy a carving knife and find a stick or something! i think theres plenty of ways to find entry points into interesting stuff and you gotta let yourself be okay with making shit that sucks just because its fun. which leads me to my second point!!

im okay with being dogshit at stuff! i try new things, i kind of suck at them, and i think it's either 1. cool that i made it this far or 2. kinda funny that this is what its like at the moment. i know that sucking is never permanent, everything can be improved with time, and rarely does anyone ever magically get good at something first try. i think of myself as a talented artist, but its over the course of 2+ decades of drawing; im always improving, and no matter what im going to find things i want to get better at, so why fault myself now for not being perfect? a couple of months ago i really wanted to try woodcarving, so i made spoon with my dad. did it turn out great? not really! you cant even use it as a spoon! but im glad i tried it, it was fun, i had a great time with my dad, and now i know a little bit more going in next time. the idea that you have to be perfect or make tangible progress every single time you try something new is a recipe for burnout. i promise you, it doesnt matter if something doesn't come out like God's Gift to Humanity! Did you have fun? did you learn something? are you satisfied in some small part? good!

(pictured: tha spoon)

last, im just really easy to please myself! I'll make a doodle or implement an idle animation in my game or color a piece and go "wow! thats so cool i did that :)" and it really is just a matter of realizing that its fucking COOL to create stuff, no matter how small! whatever you made didn't exist before you, especially in your own unique way, and now it does! doesn't that rule?! i'm obsessed with it! even if its just a stick figure, its a stick figure you made, and it wasn't there before. thats fucking awesome!!! art is so cool!!!! i think that being happy with small goals and victories is a great way of trying out new things and showing off cool stuff u made, no matter what skill level. :) this turned into a whole big thing, but i hope this helps! tl;dr is try things if they seem fun, be okay with not being good at them, and find stuff about it that makes you happy or satisfied!

#petegrammarman #my posts #asks #advice

[nights-at-crystarium]

You know what, I assume that people always read my pinned, or notice the pointer "new reader? start here" in every new Fragments' episode. I might be deluding myself. So hi hello lemme TALK ABOUT MY COMIC.

Before I get too rambly (and I mean RAMBLY), here's a quick intro. Fragments is a comic focused on feels and slice of life, made by a queer guy, aiming to ~character study~ the main cast (Vivi, Raha, Alisaie, Feo Ul) and fill in the gaps in canon (or linger in canon moments that needed more air imo), the tone ranging from angst to fluff to meme. Good punches require a good windup, so please don't expect angst anytime soon :3c

The story's segmented (fragmented, heh) into episodes. Episodes 1-11 take place in ARR, you can enjoy them with no worry about spoilers. Episode 12 onward is ShB, with all the spoilers and lorebending.

My storytelling style assumes you haven't only played through ShB, but know it like the back of your hand, i.e. it's for nerds and thinkers. Of course there's plenty of silly moments that don't require any deep knowledge, but the overarching story does. Often I skip canon events, only hinting that they took place, simply because I don't wanna retell the msq 1:1, I've got plenty of original scenes waiting to be drawn. You're in for a treat if you like obsessing over emotional and moral implications of things. And, yes, this's a story about a morally grey mc. Don't expect to be spoon-fed "and this's why that thing's bad, kids".

Currently I've outlined all the main story beats up until post EW, so it's like, not being winged as I go. Yes I refine things here and there, but I know where I'm going. I'm going ham!!!! With the lorebending post ShB. Initially I didn't plan to, but the more I learned about Vivi and personally grew as a writer, the more courage I got to "divorce" from canon. The general xiv story may still be good wherever it's headed, but it's not suited for an established wolgraha, so I'm making food for myself.

Everyone imagines the lil scenes from their wol's life, I'm taking that a tiiiiiny step further. Fragments tells a cohesive story that's looking to be the longest project at least in our corner. I can and will hyperfixate on this for years.

I started out just like many others, being hit with ShB like a truck, I wanted to put a catboy under a microscope and rotate him forever. Although I'd already been drawing for decades, I didn't have the comic-making skills yet, or eloquence to write the dialogue, so I spent the first half of 2022 self-studying, just because I needed a mouth to be able to scream about my ship.

Vivi didn't exist prior to my obsession with Exarch. He was made for this, he started out as a reagent (or a foil, now that I know fancy writing terms) for a rich and fun chemistry, and keep myself entertained for years, first and foremost.

Me, a fool: okay let's make a guy that falls in love with Exarch in this particular moment, what kinda life must he have led to- Me: ....oh no

The chemistry quickly bubbled up and exploded in my face, involving not only Exarch, but other characters (first as a means to subtly tell about Vivi, then they also demanded their own screentime), and here I am, sitting with a massive script on my hands, drawing my blorbos every day. Thanks for enabling that btw.

I care about characters a lot. I ask a lot of whys and hows. I'm critical-minded and burned on many bad stories that did their characters dirty, and I wanna be an opposing example. What I'm doing is extremely ambitious and risky, yes, but I can only invite you to tag along and see if I stick to my word.

The internet's a cruel and unforgiving place nowadays, and here I am, pitting my passion against what feels like decaying humanity. I'm making this comic to keep myself happy above all else, being sincere and cringe because life's too short to be anything else.

Thanks for reading this, and if you haven't yet, read Fragments here!

#ffxiv #vivien rell #crystal exarch #g'raha tia #wol x g'raha tia #wolgraha #own: next lvl #fragments talk

[xiihyunn]

Knife Play (18+)

Jenna Ortega x fem!reader

warning: murderer jenna, sexual assault, some angst, futile boy, murder, blood, gore, knife play, biting, marking, gagging, praising/degrading kink, rough rough sex, a tiny fingering, riding, carving, more blood, cunnilingus, slapping, a bit of cnc, possessiveness, and obsession.

summary: — everybody loves jenna ortega. the young talented and beautiful actress who wouldn't hurt a fly, and you just somehow love your girlfriend even more. but after what percy did to you, something dark inside of jenna snaps.

word count: 3.2k

> masterlist

a/n: its was a request and tbh kinda shit, but enjoy. finger yourself for me.

3rd person POV

Giggles were heard throughout Jenna’s trailer. Sitting across from each other on her table, you reach for the cup of water near you, as Jenna takes a spoon full of food to her mouth. It was lunch time, and all the actors and actresses for the new series, Wednesday, were currently eating.

The day went by normally, you waking up on Jenna's bed, showering together to 'save water', and went to film. Nothing unusual happened, but it didn't last long.

Before the lunch break, Percy was giving you way too much attention. Ever since you stepped foot into Romania, and met the other casts, he had his eyes on you.

You and Jenna's relationship was public, her fans knew, your fans knew, both of your circle of friends knew, and even the staff on set.

So when Percy asked you out on a date in front of everyone, in front of Jenna, the room was filled with awkward silence. Before you could even reject him nicely, Jenna had snapped at him then dragged you out of his view.

And now you were here laughing at how cute your girlfriend looked being jealous.

"J, calm down okay? You're the one I want, and not him." You smiled at the woman in front of you. Jenna was huffing, avoiding your eye contact.

"Was he fucking blind or something? Hell, even Helen Keller could tell we're dating." Jenna said, as she eats another spoon of her food. You playfully shake your head, "Now don't be rude to our girl Keller, Jen."

You take your plate and place it down on the sink. You turn and walk over to Jenna, she is playing with her food, resting her head on her hand as she rolls the small meatball back and forth on the plate.

Jenna had a mad look on her face, the grip on the fork was fairly noticeable, and her sharp breaths were evident.

Grabbing her cheek, you made her face you. Jenna's eyes finally looked at yours, and her stiff brows finally softened. "I love you, Jen." You whispered.

"I love you too, Y/n." Brushing your thumb across her bottom lip, Jenna's eyes flicker to yours, as she leans in for a kiss.

Meeting each other's lips, you felt Jenna's body relaxing. You chuckled in the kiss, she tasted like the spaghetti you both just ate.

You retreated from the kiss. Once you opened your eyes, you saw a confused looking Jenna staring at your orbs. "Why did you laugh?" Jenna pouts.

"You taste like spaghetti, babe." Jenna's cheeks turn red, as she smiles at you. "My bad," Jenna said.

While Jenna was washing both of your dishes, you on the other hand was preparing her Wednesday uniform. Cleaning her trailer for some time, Jenna was finished.

Wiping her wet hands on her pants, Jenna grabbed and wore her coat. "Baby, I have to buy some snacks for the pantry. I'll be back on 10, wait for me," You hummed in acknowledgement, as you gave Jenna a quick peck on the lips.

"Alright. Stay safe, Jen,"

Jenna gave you one last smile and goodbye, as she opened the trailer door and left.

—

The sound of a door opening caught your attention. It had only been 5 minutes, and honestly you thought Jenna was gonna take much more time than that, knowing the convenience store is like 4 blocks away.

You were scrolling on your phone laying on her bed, you looked up expecting to see your lovely girlfriend, but instead it was Percy.

You were caught off guard by him standing and looking down at you. "Um, hey Perc, do you need anything..?" You say at the edge of Jenna's bed, waiting for him to answer.

Percy smiles at you, and shakes his head. "Oh nothing, I just wanted to see what you were doing." You can't help but to give him a weird look, "Why couldn't you just wait 'till lunch break was over?" You asked him.

His right eye slightly twitches from the tone of your voice, but you caught it. Percy just stood there, smiling at you with his face all red. You bit your lip feeling incredibly uncomfortable, but then Percy started to rub his clothed crotch.

"What are you doing?" Your eyes were wide, looking at him humping his dick in front of you. Percy just smirks, as his eyes roam around your body and specifically your breast.

Percy continued to palm his center area, and it left you baffled. "What the hell Percy, you're fucking insane." You stood up and grabbed him by his arm, pushing him to leave the trailer.

As you were about to push him even more, Percy grabs both of your shoulders and pins you on the near wall. His tall figure pressing your body hard.

You felt his hard on pressing into your pelvis making you slightly gag. "Get off of me!" You shouted at him, as you tried to push his body off of you.

"You women are just meant to be fucked and used by us men, now shut the fuck up and take my dick in you whore."

Just as Percy was about to kiss you, the trailer door slammed open.

"What the fuck!?"

You tilt your head to look at Jenna staring at you, and then at Percy. Jenna saw the displeasure look on your face, and she pushed Percy hard making him stumble to the ground.

"What do you think you're doing to my girlfriend you asshole!" Jenna got on top of the shocked boy, and landed a punch on his nose.

Jenna felt her hand throb in pain, but she didn't care. All of the built up anger and jealousy Jenna had come crashing down, as she fists Percy's collar pulling him close up to her face.

"I'll fucking kill you, Hynes." Jenna saw red. Jaw tensing, nose flaring, and she was losing all her senses of control. Rage was making Jenna sick, the sides of her vision were slowly becoming black and it covered her whole sight.

Even the thought about him even daring to touch what was hers, made Jenna mad. And now he did, and he was going to pay for it.

"Jenna stop!"

Jenna snapped out of her trance, looking at your crying figure holding her arm. You sobbed, pulling her closer to you, Jenna immediately hugged you.

Patting your head, she kissed your ear. "It's alright, baby. I'm here, I'm here." You hugged her neck, tears slowly falling to her shirt. Jenna continued to pat your hair, but then she felt something wet on her hands.

Wet and sticky.

She looked down and saw her bloody hands. It was Percy's blood, but also some of it were hers. Jenna looked over to the side and saw him, Percy was groaning, clutching his bloody and broken nose, as he tried to crawl away from her.

His face looked really bad.

Looking down at her hands again, Jenna felt something inside of her. It was almost tickling her almost, the now dry blood staining her skin felt good. Too good.

Jenna smiles, and continues to comfort your shaken up state.

The blood on her hand felt right. It felt like she was made for this, and it felt like blood was always supposed to be there.

And thought that made Jenna smile even more.

—

It was bright in the streets of Romania despite it being 11pm. Jenna was still on set since the director heard what happened on the trailer, and they were planning to fire Percy.

You wanted to wait for your girlfriend but she told you to go home, and get some sleep after the incident. Knowing Jenna was persistent and hardheaded, you left the set and your manager drived you to Jenna's house.

You told her you wanted to stop by at 711's to get some instant noodles, and some chicken for Jenna to eat when she comes back. Grabbing your plastic back, you went inside the car and drove off once more.

You gave your manager a quick goodbye and thank you, as you opened the gate of Jenna's house. Walking towards her front door, you swiped a card at the card reader, only for it to ding meaning the door was already opened.

Weird. You thought.

We probably forgot to lock it before we left this morning. Shrugging off the feeling, your fingers twist the handle, and there it was.

Something felt wrong, really wrong. The hairs on the back of your shoulders were standing, and every fiber of your being told you not to open the door. A gut wrenching feeling made its way up your throat, as you exhale a cold breath.

Run.

That's what your subconscious told you. Your 6th senses were tingling, and you felt your instincts creeping up.

Oh if this was a scream movie, you'll definitely get killed. Don't you know the rules?

In one big breath you opened the door, and the sight in front of you drained all the blood off your face.

Jenna panted, wiping off the dripping blood off of her face. She stood with confidence, as Percy's body was on the floor bloody, and lifeless.

Adrenaline was coursing in Jenna's veins, looking down at the dead body of Percy Hynes White. The white carpet was now stained in crimson red blood, thick, and almost slimy by the blood clots slowly forming.

The smell of fresh human remains filled your nostrils. Dropping the plastic bag, you covered your nose and mouth with a small shriek.

Jenna's eyes looked back at your frozen state. You didn't look at her, the body on the living room floor caught your attention more.

You held your breath as your eyes finally met Jenna's. Panic visible in your face, you blinked rapidly.

"I-I…" You whispered.

Jenna's eyes were cold, and distant. They looked dead, and empty, but somehow it was still familiar.

Jenna stood there staring at you, her bloody clothes, and her bloody bloody face was deadpan. A tear of blood fell down to her forehead, and onto her jaw, and Jenna clutched her knife in hand.

"Jenna, what did you do..?" Slowly walking towards your bloody girlfriend, you made her body face yours. Holding her forearm, you looked up.

"Baby, let's go clean you up okay? A-And then let's.. let's go to the police.." Jenna's face suddenly changed, her cold stare turned angry.

"Jen—" Jenna tackles you to the ground. Pinning your wrists above your head with one hand, and the other bringing the wet knife up to your throat.

"No one is telling no one shit, darling."

The tip of the knife touching your chin, you gulped and looked at the woman in front of you. Jenna had a smirk on her bloody lips, licking them with her tongue, her eyes flickering to your lips.

You exhaled softly, looking at Jenna's eyes on your lips. Jenna smashes your lips together. Sucking harshly on your flesh, you tasted something metallic making you tear up at the thought of eating Percy's blood.

Jenna angles the knife to your throat and pressed it, you groaned in pain on her lips, as you tried to move your head away.

"Stay fucking still." Jenna muttered, pushing the knife further into your neck, drawing blood. You whined in pain, feeling the burning and stinging sensation.

Jenna forced her tongue inside of your mouth, lapping up your saliva with hers, as she sucks on your hot and wet muscle.

She retreats the knife away from your throat, and places it to her side. Wrapping her hands around your neck like a necklace, her thumb gaze over the open wound, and you hissed in pain once more.

You felt the blood on the carpet being sucked into your clothes. Uncomfortable at the warm feeling on your back, as Jenna disconnected your lips together with a small trail of saliva on each of your lips.

"You're mine. Only fucking mine." Jenna grabs the knife again. Still holding your hands in place, she slides the blade underneath your shirt, and cuts the fabric upward.

Missing your face for a centimeter, the cold wind hits your exposed top. "W-Wait Jenna, I-I don't think it's time for us to be doing this right now…" You plead, in your peripheral vision his body was just next to you.

Tugging your wrists aways from her grip, Jenna laughs. "God killing him felt so, so good, baby," Jenna cut her way through your shorts, and you laid there only in your underwear.

"The way I stabbed, twisted, and stabbed him again and again felt amazing." Cutting your bra and panties, you groan softly at her. You wrapped your legs around Jenna's waist, as she bent down over to your tits.

The angle made your cunt hole open. Jenna's hips rubbing your clit with enough force to make you hold out a moan. It felt so good, but so wrong.

This is so fucking wrong. You thought, as a shooting pleasure made its say to your core when Jenna grinds on your pussy.

"His blood was just squirting everywhere in the room, as I slit his throat. Baby, you should've seen it~" Jenna let go of your wrist, and discarded her own clothes on top of Percy's body.

"And now I'm wondering if I could also make you squirt.."

Jenna's hands groped both of your breasts in her hands, as she took one in her mouth. "Jenna—" A moan escapes your lips. She bit down on your nipple, hard, causing you to tug on her scalp.

Jenna snakes her other hand down to your core. "God Y/n, you're fucking soaked." Jenna muttered on your tits, as she took the other one in, sucking it like milk was going to come out.

She runs her middle and ring finger on your wet slit, coating your whole cunt with your arousal. Jenna's palm occasionally bumping your clit, your nails dug on her arm.

Jenna sat on the floor. Opening both of your legs wide, she grabs the knife. "A little carving won't hurt right, baby?" Your breaths rigid and irregular, you gently shook your head.

"Please don't.." You whisper.

Jenna slaps your pussy. "I didn't hear you, darling. What was it again?" She trails the edge on your inner thighs, and stops on your clit.

The cold metal hit you, as your body started to shake. "P-Please Jenna.. don't," Shaking your head once more, Jenna strikes a toe curling smack on your pussy.

You bucked on your hip at her, biting your bottom lip as a tear fell down your face. "What did you say, Y/n..?" Blood was seeping out of your core's lips, as the small cuts drew blood.

Your pussy was burning, and stinging. Was it from the pain? Or the pleasure? You couldn't tell.

"Fuck Jenna— Yes, yes! Carve your name into my skin, please.." Jenna smirks and slices a huge 'J' on your inner thighs, as she slaps your tits.

"What a fucking whore."

You were about to inhale another set of breaths, but the moment you opened your mouth, Jenna pushed 2 bloody fingers inside and wasted no time to touch the back of your throat.

Gagging at your girlfriend's finger, you hold onto her wrist, as she pushes something inside of you.

It felt weird. It was something hard but it wasn't a dildo, it felt long and textured.

Rolling your eyes back, you looked down to see Jenna holding the sharp part of the knife, her own blood dripping onto the carpet.

"So beautiful.." Jenna slams the handle further inside of you, as you moan on her fingers. You gagged again, but she pounded it inside of you. Your muffled moans fill the room, as your tits rocked back and forth wildly from the rough movements.

Feeling the plastic fucking your insides, you started to meet Jenna's thrust. "That's it, princess. You enjoy me fucking you with a knife right?" Jenna takes the whole thing out, before slamming it back into you, hitting the entrance of your womb.

Saliva was dripping down on your mouth, as Jenna pushed her fingers deeper. She angles the knife upward, and your legs start shaking.

"O-Oh fu-ck. Jenn-a right t-her!" You start choking on your own saliva, and Jenna finally removes her fingers from your mouth only for her to kiss your lips hungrily.

You tightened around the handle, as you felt your orgasm coming. "Be a good little girl and cum, Y/n." Jenna bites your neck. Her teeth sinking deep into your skin, as you moan out juices slipping out of your cunt.

Your orgasm washed over your body like a wave, your hips shaking violently on the handle. "Fuck—!" Jenna licks the surface of your bloody neck, lapping up the dripping vital fluid, and drinking them with a forceful suck.

Taking the handle out, Jenna wraps her legs on yours, making a scissoring position. "Wait!" Jenna's cold and wet cunt touches your clit, making you release a throaty moan.

Jenna's lips curved up into a smirk, as she rested one of your legs onto her shoulder. Rolling her hip, her clit brushes into yours.

Jenna grabs your pairs and squeezed them. Making them a tool to sit up straight, when she thrust into you more. "The amount of time I fingered myself to your tits, imagining them to be my personal little stress ball.."

You closed your eyes intensely, biting back your moans, but Jenna slaps the side of her knife to your cheek. "Open your eyes you slut, look how good I'm fucking your pretty pussy."

Wet slapping noises were getting louder and louder, making you flustered. Jenna trails the knife once more on your stomach and the sharp edge sitting directly on your nipple.

You felt yourself almost at your high. Toe curling, back arching, mouth agape, and overstimulation, as Jenna's hand reached to her back and suddenly pushed through your entrance, with 2 inside, she fingers you.

Grinding her hip, clit to clit, and Jenna's fingers curling inside of you, "I-I'm gonna cum.." You panted. "Fuck, me too baby." Bucking into her fingers once more, as you tightened around her fingers.

"Cum for me, princess."

Your body convulses, as your high comes rolling on your figure. Both of you moaning each other's name, your muscles gave out and went limp.

Your eyes meeting Jenna's. Your body aches in pain, tears swell your eyes, as guilt fills your veins. With a shaky breath, you tried to push your girlfriend away, only for her to slash the knife on your tits.

Blood gushes out of your chest. Moaning and groaning in pain, you throw your head back, feeling the black void consume you fully.

"I said, you're fucking mine."

—

y'all chill, u didn't die

#jenna ortega #jenna marie ortega #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega smuts #jenna ortega x femreader #celebrity #actress #scream #scream smuts #netflix #wattpad #lesbian #lgbtqia #wednesday addams #vada cavell #the fallout #tara carpenter #xiihyun

[lesuccube]

➚ 𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐊 𝐃 : ᴀᴜ-ᴄᴛᴏʙᴇʀ — ᴍɪɴᴇ

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 — he's gotten awfully close , thank god you didn't know much better . at least , that was good news to him .

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 — dark trojan [ read at your own risk ! ]

𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 — not beta'd, constructive criticism is welcomed . comments and reblogs are appreciated .

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 — 0.7k

you've been working with steven at the museum for quite a while now. him, still a gift shop-ist and you a new guide for the greek exhibit. at first steven was jealous how they easily gave away the position of tour guide but when he passed by your group during your first month when donna made him do inventory, he was hooked.

you were smart and passionate, fun and easygoing. plenty of the people you guided had questions to ask that you readily answered, both from adults and children. usually the former are quiet, uninterested in the old history but you had a way to charm people, steven was no exception.

so he made the effort to befriend you. approaching you more until it was you who would seek him out during lunch. on days you were able to leave early, you'd join steven doing inventory because donna got mad at him again for being late. as per usual.

"you don't have to stick around f'me love, i'm used to it." earthy browns would look at yours through curly bangs, sheepish at having held you back from going home early. "i know i don't... but i want to."

and that was when he had truly fallen in love with you. if you can even call that love. steven was obsessed, he was obsessed with your kindness, with your knowledge. he wanted that all to himself. how can he not when you readily give it when he comes by to ask for your time. you were so nice, so good, so beautiful... he hopes you like what he has planned for you.

he began following you in and out of work, uncaring he loses sleep. not that he gets that many hours in anyways. he followed you for months until he has learned your routine outside your house, after that he learned how to break into your place and get to know you even better in the comforts of your home. he steals a few things, a spoon you used that day, a shirt buried underneath your laundry, a pair of panties from your freshly folded ones... some he returns and others, well let's just say they became a permanent part of his collection of you.

he worships the things you own, treats them like fine china. most of the time that is. he uses them to his pleasure other times, unable to hold back. your smell would linger on the items he'd steal and he'd sniff it until it disappears, replaced by his own. then he'll clean them up (he bought the same laundry detergent just for this case) and return them. most of them.

nearly a year into your friendship, steven asked you out for a simple hang out at the park, saying he found a nice spot for a picnic just you and him. unaware of his true intentions, you had agreed.

at first it had gone well, you and steven chatted and chatted, eating the sandwiches you had prepared until he handed you a glass of lemonade did it start going downhill. half an hour after your brunch you started feeling sluggish, your mind hazy and muddled. you don't notice steven grinning in joy, knowing that his plans were finally coming into fruition. he had drugged your drink, enough to weaken your muscles for you to go down without a fight and then... light's out.

oh how long did he wait for this moment.

"oh love, i've wanted you for so long... ever since i passed by your first tour i've been madly in love with you d'you know that? of course you didn't silly me." he circles your weakening body, struggling to stay awake, struggling to hear him. "w-why?" was the only thing your lips were able to get out in your fight to stay conscious, alarm bells ringing in your head at steven's approaching figure.

he grins a cruel, wicked grin when you're finally unable to hold yourself up, lying limply on the blanket he had all but spread out and you looked like a masterpiece to him at that moment. like a fallen angel in your pretty white dress, hair spread out before you like a beautiful halo. like a painting, like art had come to life, you were so, so beautiful. you were gorgeous in his eyes and you always will be.

"why? well... i can't stop thinking how perfect we would be together."

#👤 — user : kira #💽 — local disk d : au ctober #moon knight #moon knight fanfiction #moon knight imagine #moon knight x reader #steven grant #steven grant fanfiction #steven grant imagine #steven grant x reader

[zurajanaizurakoda]

So, I decided to write the Katsura side of Big Spoon, wrote like 8k words in one day, and then crashed.

A week later I had a discussion where I realized I was sleeping on Katsura's unhoused period. Like, the onigiri thing is probably food insecurity, right? That fucks you up as a kid. He must have been using his own resources to make food, even as a poor orphan, because he knew what it was like to starve and have no one care enough to feed you, and he does it without prompting because he's got his pride and it's humiliating as shit to beg for food so he wants people to have the food without having to ask. And of course Gintoki the corpse robber would pick up on that shit immediately and understand "hey, this kid's seen some shit."

and I wrote this sequence, and I didn't like it, and I crashed again and stopped writing. I think it's interesting, though, I don't know how unhoused people were treated in ye olde Japan so it's more based on modern outlooks and prejudices, but it encapsulates what I think about that period of his life. Vaguely Ginzura, but they're kids so it's nothing really. And canonly his classmates did complain he reeked of poverty.

One last thing animals seek warmth do you think he ever woke up with random strays curled on him on cold mornings. Do you think that's part of why he likes them so much FEEL SAD ABOUT BLORBO

If you think about it his obsession with the umai sticks could also be food insecurity

One day Gintoki sat down next to him out of nowhere when he was resting by himself on a log far behind the school, just thinking.  It was a favorite pastime of his, and normally he would be annoyed with the company, but Gintoki was Gintoki and you couldn’t expect him to behave like other people.  The other boy just flopped down like he’d been specifically summoned and pulled out a parcel wrapped in bamboo leaves.  He untied the string around it to reveal two onigiri, offering one without comment.  Katsura looked down at it, and then back up at the boy.  “What is this?”

“Onigiri, with plums.  You like those, right?” he asked without making eye contact.  “I don’t like plums.  You eat this one.”  He shoved half of the other one in his mouth messily.  “Don’t worry, there’s nothing weird in them or anything.  We just got them from the lady next door.”  He shoved the onigiri roughly in the other boy’s direction.  Katsura looked at it again without taking it, and Gintoki sighed.  He looked down like he was trying to gather courage, or maybe just keep from losing his temper.  “You were homeless, right?  When you were young.  One of the other boys was laughing about it.  How was it?”

Katsura considered the question and the boy asking it.  He was no stranger to being ridiculed about his life situations, but somehow he felt like Gintoki was being sincere.  He knew enough about Gintoki’s past to understand that the silver haired boy’s life had been much worse than his own. It wasn’t something he was fond of talking about, but it was more out of a sense of privacy than shame.  It wasn’t something other people readily understood, they responded with disgust or sympathy and Katsura wanted neither of those things.  With Gintoki, however, he felt like there would be genuine understanding.  He stared straight ahead and explained like he was reciting an old tale: “I lived with my grandmother, out by the graveyard.  There was a bamboo grove nearby where people threw trash, and we stayed there most of the time. People didn’t care about it so no one made us leave.  For a while there were tatami mats thrown out by a local restaurant, and we slept on those.  I always associate the smell of sesame oil with the bamboo grove.  Other times we slept on the ground.” He stared down at his feet, and felt warm.  They were difficult times, but he hadn’t been unhappy.  He’d had his grandma, and they had visited his parents every day.  He’d had people he cared about to talk to.  “Sometimes there were other people or families, but if there got to be too many of us together the authorities would run everyone out.”  Gintoki nodded without comment.  “I didn’t mind living there, though, there was a river nearby that we could wash at.  It wasn’t so bad.  Not like it was with you.”

“The town burned the tatami mats because you were sleeping on them, didn’t they?  It was unhygienic, they probably said.”

“How did you-”  Katsura stopped.  Of course he knew, he’d lived the same way.  “Yes they did.  I had a few books I’d left behind and they burned those too.  You had to keep things with you if you wanted to keep them.  Books were so hard to get, too.”

“Where did you steal food from?”  Gintoki asked in the same bored voice.

“We never stole!”  Katsura replied, eyes wide.  “I would never!  It goes against bushido!  I could never!”  He was surprised that Gintoki would even suggest it.  Had he given the impression of having such loose morals?

“Whatever.  Bushido is bullshit when you’re hungry.”  Gintoki said with a frown.  “What did you eat?”

“We… we got food from some of the local houses, or sometimes from a nearby temple.”  Katsura explained.  “There was a monk who would give me buns if I recited scriptures.  Sometimes there were leftovers behind some of the restaurants.  Sometimes…”  he paused, remembering how shameful it was that they had fallen to such circumstances.  “Sometimes my grandmother would ask people for food.  She had always said that the head of the Katsura household shouldn’t be reduced to begging, but sometimes… she would.”

“Bet the restaurants dumped the food in the dirt to keep people out of them.”  Again, the other boy wasn’t wrong.  “What did you do when no one would help?”  Gintoki seemed even more angry, for some reason.

Katsura furrowed his brow.  It would be useless to deny that it happened, not with someone like Gintoki.  “We went to bed hungry sometimes.  It wasn’t uncommon.  Sometimes life is like that.”  Gintoki was silent, and he leaned forward.  “But there were a lot of good people.  Didn’t people give you food when you were homeless?”

“Hell no, people were assholes.  I was a demon, remember?  They’d throw stuff if they caught me hanging around.  I never asked anyway.  Why should I care?  They can live without a little.  I stole every day, and I’m as strong a samurai as you are now.”  he nudged the other boy.  “Did they throw things at you?”

“Not… very often.”  His hand went to a spot on the back of his head where there was a small ridge of scar that hair never quite grew back around.  He chose to see the good in people, but he would never forget that there was bad.

“But they did, right?  They called you names?  Ran you out like you were stinking up the place?”  

“Sometimes, Gintoki, but most people were nice.  And when they weren’t… it was okay.”  Okay was perhaps a bit of a stretch, but he’d long since made peace with those days.

“It wasn’t okay, Zura, and you shouldn’t have starved.  You should have taken what you needed, and when people called you things, you should have called them things right back.  When people hurt you, you should hurt them back.  You shouldn’t have to have someone else get angry for you.”

“It’s not Zura, it’s Katsura, and that’s not how a general should behave. How I behave reflects on more than just me.”

“That’s stupid, and you’re stupid.”  Gintoki replied in a huff.  “That’s why you’re always getting picked on.  You should fight.”  

Katsura looked down at his feet again, and this time he felt a little lost.  He didn’t need Gintoki’s support in the matter, but it was something that he would have liked to have had.  He felt strangely alone, knowing the other boy disagreed with him.  “We deal with things very differently, Gintoki,” he finally said.

There was a long pause.  “You need to take care of yourself, you won’t always have friends…"

"I've spent a lot of my life without friends, I don't need you to tell me I won't have them.  I'm okay on my own."  Katsura didn’t even try to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

"That's not what I meant," Gintoki protested, and he genuinely sounded a little hurt.  "I meant you need to stick up for yourself. I know you’re strong enough to do it.  I bet even Sensei would look the other way.”

“It’s not something I’m interested in doing.”

“Fine.  Look, getting bullied is one thing…”  Gintoki said, and then dropped his head back between his shoulders as if making a decision.  “But being hungry is something else.  If you’re hungry, come to me.  You don’t have to steal if you come to me.  I’ll get you food, I promise.  So don’t let yourself starve.”

Katsura turned, “why are you-”

“-It’s because you know what it’s like to be hungry.  That’s why you do the onigiri thing.  Because you know what it’s like to go to bed hungry and wake up hungry.  People tease you because they think you’re such a crybaby, but it’s because you’ve known what it’s like.  Those jerks think hunger is missing lunch, they’ve never chewed on scraps of leather just to have something in your mouth.  They don’t get when you’re trying to trick your stomach into thinking it’s eating because you know there’s no food today.  You don’t have to worry about what they say because you’ve been there and they haven’t.  That’s why you’re stronger than they are, Zura.  That’s why you should fight and not worry about being proper.  You’re better than them.”

"Sometimes I would chew on twigs, just to have the taste of something in my mouth."  Gintoki nodded encouragingly.  "But I don't let people bully me because I think they're stronger than me.  I know I'm stronger than them, that's why I should be the one who shows restraint."

"I still think it's stupid," Gintoki muttered, but then he smiled.  "But I guess if you're too stubborn to fight back, that's better than being too mopey to fight back.  You're weird as hell, but you're not weak."  He reached over and tucked a stray strand of hair behind the other boy's ear.  It seemed natural, but after a second Gintoki flushed slightly and slapped his shoulder.  "Your hair is stupid, too."  He crossed his arms, looking straight ahead.

There was a long silence, and then Katsura hesitantly reached for his hand.  “Before Sensei found you…”

“I don’t remember,”  Gintoki returned, looking away and picking his nose.

“You at least remember what it’s like to starve.”  Katsura pressed.

“-And someday I won’t.  I’ll forget everything bad that ever happened to me.  I probably won’t remember this conversation next week.  I definitely won’t remember the onigiri.  There’s nothing you can do about the past.  Someday we may not be friends anymore, and maybe I’ll forget all together that there ever was a mopey kid named Kotarou Zura.  But while we’re here, I won’t let them hurt you, and I won’t let you starve.  You're my friend.”

Katsura’s hands clenched on Gintoki’s hand on the trunk beside him.  “I’ll never forget you, Gintoki.  You’ll never be alone again, because you’ll always have me.  Even if we move on, and even if you forget me, I’ll always remember you.”

Gintokii chuckled.  “You stupid sap,” he said affectionately, smacking the back of his head.  “You’ll find someone else’s wife and you’ll have a dozen kids and do wherever the hell generals do.  You’ll be someone too important to worry about little demons.”

“Even then, I won’t forget, I promise.”  Gintoki just looked away, but in that moment, Katsura made a promise to himself.  As long as he was alive, there would be at least one person who believed that Gintoki Sakata was a good person.  One person who knew.

He heard yelling from over the hill.  “And that’s my cue to leave!”  Gintoki called lightly, slipping off the log.  “I’d get out of sight, just in case.  And eat the onigiri, they can’t pin anything on you once the evidence is gone!”

“Did… did you steal these?!” Katsura screamed in disbelief.

“Outta the way, Zura!”  Gintoki yelled, escaping in a flash.  Katsura blinked a few times in shock, then hid under a bush as the other kids rounded the hilltop.

“Gintoki went this way, right?”

“-He punched Ito out cold!  One blow!”

“Sensei is so gonna kill him!”

“It was like they were laughing like always, and then Ito said one thing about Katsura and he flipped!  I didn’t think they were even that good of friends!”

“Boys, boys!”  Sensei called.  “Fighting is bad, but gossiping doesn’t help!  Gintoki will receive the punishment owed to him, so why don’t you all just wait back at the dojo?”  Sensei stopped a little too close to the bush Katsura was hiding behind for it to be accidental.  “And we can all see this as a lesson, right?  The circumstances of Katsura’s birth are nothing to laugh at.  Neither, I think, are Gintoki’s.”  He led the group off in the other direction.

Katsura looked at the onigiri in his hands like it was a bloody knife.  In all his years, he’d never stolen anything.  If he’d found a wallet on the ground, it would never occur to him to check it for money before he turned it in to authorities.  It went against the fiber of his being.  Gintoki must have realized that… but it was a gift from Gintoki, and it wasn’t like he could give it back without admitting his complicity in things…

Corruption tasted surprisingly good.

#gintama #katsura kotarou #sakata gintoki #ginzura #just a little though #the overall fic is very ginzura

[aziraphales-library]

Hi! I very much love this blog, it is an absolute delight. I couldn't find it in the masterpost - but this might just be me misreading it! - but do you have a tag for flower shop AUs? Wishing you all the best!

Hello! We have #florist crowley and #florist au tags, and you might also be interested in our #crowley's plants tag. Here are some more florist fics...

Honeysuckle and White Jasmine by Dannye Chase (E)

While on a bad blind date at a coffee shop, bookshop owner Aziraphale meets a gorgeous red-haired barista. Also Aziraphale knows flower language and he's not afraid to use it.

So now Aziraphale was going on a date with someone Tracy knew. Since Tracy had arranged it, Aziraphale let her pick the place as well: Double Double, a new coffee shop. Tracy had promised that the shop was lovely and had a selection of rich desserts, which was honestly the part that had convinced Aziraphale.

Aziraphale’s one bit of defiance was the flowers. He had a book or two in his shop on flower language, and he’d decided that the bouquet was going to be the sweetener for the day (besides the dessert), the spoonful of sugar that helped the medicine go down.

Yellow carnations: Disdain, disappointment, rejection. Red snapdragon: Deception. Purple columbine: foolishness. White candytuft: indifference. And finally butterfly weed, a bright little orange cluster flower, which meant Let me go!

Armed with his passive-aggressive (but quite lovely smelling) bouquet, Aziraphale took a cab to Double Double.

Flowers Are Better Than People (Angel Don't You Think That's True?) by MJ_Spooks (T)

He liked plants more than people, hence his decision to become a florist, and if he liked something, he was utterly incapable of not obsessing over it. When he committed to the study of something, he committed wholeheartedly.

So, naturally, he was well-versed in The Language of Flowers.

And, looking over his notes, it almost made sense. Almost. There was, in fact, a pattern, between what Mr. Ezra Fell liked, and did not like.

The thing was, if the pattern was in fact there, and wasn’t just some insane coincidence, then Mr. Ezra Fell was more than a little bit of a bastard.

Tea For Two by ICanSingNoRequiem (T)

Aziraphale is living his life in London's Soho District when he's summoned to the sleepy town of Eden to settle the affairs of his recently deceased childhood friends.

Second Chance at a First Try by Fallinfromgrace (E)

Aziraphale is happy in the life he’s living. He has his books and his shop, and his cocoa, what more could he want? Until one day a small boy hides in his shop, his eye bruised and his hope shattered. His eyes are hauntingly familiar but Aziraphale knows he’s never met this small boy before.

It doesn’t take long to unravel the mystery of why the boy is there. And when his father shows up, looking for him, bruised and bloody Aziraphale realizes what he recognized in the small boys eyes. Now his life will never be the same, and perhaps that’s good?

A Study Of Rose Petals and Ink Stains by teardrops_on_ghostly_wings (M)

After a painful breakup Crowley goes to the tattoo shop down the road from his flower shop to get a bad breakup tattoo but instead meets tattoo artist Az who talks him down from his terrible idea and helps him start to heal.

where dwells the breath of all persisting stars by grayscaleTestimony & ranichi17 & temporalSilence (T)

They still meet, whatever the universe.

Or, a florist, a bookseller, and a chance meeting in the rain.

- Mod D

#good omens #ineffable husbands #florist crowley #florist au #human au #mod d

[ipsen]

Noro and Tatara for the latest character ask please?

a necrophilia ship ask, huh... i'll try my best! LOL

norotara:

when I started shipping it if I did: literally never heard of this ship until you brought it up. very interesting, if a bit difficult to do so

my thoughts: well, it's another black and white aesthetic-type ship, and features the two quietest aogiri members. They're both very efficient in their own ways, and i like the image of tatara helping noro feed since the latter is... out of commission. tatara learning to care for a walking corpse because everyone he loves is already dead... there's something there.

What makes me happy about them: Well that's pretty easy. clears throat

ETO'S DAD IS ACTUALLY PRETTY RAD HE'S ALL I WANT, AND I'M OBSESSED JUST A TAD ETO CAN'T YOU SEE? YOUR DAD'S JUST THE GUY FOR ME I KNOW IT MIGHT BE BAD BUT I'M IN LOVE WITH ETO'S DAD

What makes me sad about them: they can't kiss with all the masks and rotting skin :(

things done in fanfic that annoys me: what fanfics

things I look for in fanfic: WHAT FANFICS

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: houji and shiono, i guess? i don't know.

My happily ever after for them: A quiet life, much like their demeanors, and surrounded by those who care about them, even if it doesn't amount to much.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: tatara is the big spoon.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: relaxing in silence. there's a comfort to being understood without speaking.

----

:P here's the character versions

noro

How I feel about this character: Eto's dad, and an underexplored individual. I write him like he holds a few anti-imperialistic views that Eto would eventually inherit, since a journal from a dead woman isn't enough in my eyes. Also was extremely intelligent and only really lacked a proper education.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Uh...

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Him and Eto! I think they're neat together :]

My unpopular opinion about this character: Uh...... he's not very scary....?

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I wanted his backstory with Eto explored. I need to know his parallels to Ryouko Fueguchi right now.

my OTP: him and shiono :] (half joking)

my cross over ship: none

a headcanon fact: when eto was at the orphanage, he pretended to be a stuffed mannequin in the corner of the broom closet. also, when he was noroi, he made a mean hamburger steak.

----

tatara

How I feel about this character: very cool! he should get his own spinoff series because he's almost a main character in like, a shounen or something i dunno LOL

All the people I ship romantically with this character: scratches head i mean kousuke houji is right there. why not. i intimately get it. i wonder why. also putting in a vote for one-sided etora. i want him prostrating himself before her, only for her to do nothing about it. i want that man like a doused, wounded dog.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: him and ayato :] little brother stand-in.

My unpopular opinion about this character: i guess... i like that he was killed by t-owl? giving him his wish of dying at houji's hand while allowing him to "get away" with all the things he did to get there would be kinda messed up.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I want to know about his relationships with arima and eto. who were they to him, and how did he fit into aogiri's power structure?

my OTP: sure i'll say houtata

my cross over ship: idk

a headcanon fact: he got his mouth sewn shut by eto, but she grew bored and never really finished the job. take that as you will.

----

thanks for the ask! LOL

#tg #tokyo ghoul #ask #tatara #noro

[writer1queenjaysblog]

Yandere Aaron T

•He's obsessed and isn't ashamed nor does he want help. He thinks he's fine but in reality he's not, stalking her 24/7 not letting her out of his sight.

•Like Jesse and Robaire he saids crazy things to her when she tries to leave him "Baby girl why do you always leave me?" "If I was to kill you and go with you in the after life what will every one think?" "If you ever leave me..I'll make you regret it. "

•He's energetic and has women throwing themselves at him but he ignores them and kisses her in public not caring what they say. He won't let her do anything alone by herself like cooking, cleaning, sleeping you name it. T definitely is affectionate and loving with her always whispering in her ear using his deep voice knowing what it does to her.

•In his deep voice he'll say things like: "Baby girl I love you so much that if you leave me..I won't leave you alone til your mine." Or "If you don't kiss me I'll jump off the stairs." He will say things in her ear when their together "Your mine and mine alone if you leave me I won't stop until your mine again baby. "

•Will mention her in interviews like Robaire and he talks about them being engaged 💍 and soon to be married.

NSFW!!

♡Is a tongue 👅 monster/ demon. Won't stop even after her orgasm he will look up at her licking and fingering her. He loves how she makes him moan and scream her name.

♡Will definitely little spoon big spoon.

♡Loves fucking her to song like drunk in love Beyonce ft Jay Z or something with a beat or no beat, he'll pound her wither it has on or not.

♡ Crazyass will go crazy and say things like "If you leave me I'll kill us..right here right now I don't care I'll kill us..I'll cut both of our throats and hold hands with you baby til we bleed out to death." Or "No one will love you like me baby I'll be with you forever~." "If I can't have you and make love to you..then no one will!"

♡Won't stop stalking her at all and will beat the crap out of anyone who dares try to steal her away from him or hurt her feelings. Will say things to keep her close to him at all times

"Mi amor I love you so much without you my darling baby my life means nothing, finally I have a purpose in life, a reason for happiness ~ if anyone dares to take my happiness away from me I'll end them." "Yes baby I'll end them for you, me, for us, our future our family. "

•He'll keep her in his room so she doesn't escape the house. Will definitely try to let her have a little freedom to do things but he has stuff in his room that is locked like the door, windows that face the back of the house, possible things she can use to escape or as a weapon. He's crazy and energetic and goofy but he's no fool or stupid.

•Will tie her up if he feels like she'll escape from the room and place her in the basement. He feeds her and give her head licking and suckling on her clit until she cums in his mouth.

•Will drag her back it she escaped "I don't get it baby I feed you, spend time with you, make hot love to you, spoil you and you still. Try. To. Run. Away!? "Ugh when will you develop a sense of trust here?" "I'm acting crazy because you drive and make me crazy! Baby girl you did this you made me crazy over you~!"

"Oh don't you worry baby girl I'm never gonna let you go papi's going to take real good care of you..from now now forever. "

♡He's a full 8 inches

♡Fell in love with her at a concert and has been obsessed with her ever since.

♡High sex drive but will only go 1 to 2 rounds if she has a low sex drive.

♡Will spoil her regardless of her behavior just because he wants to and he loves her deeply.

♡He's 5'9 1/2 in height and he loves pinning her against something wether it's a wall, door, bed doesn't matter as long as he's showing his Dom side.

Aaron Z or Tae Young which one do y'all want next?

#4town headcanons #4town #4town x reader #4town robaire #4town jesse #4 town yandere #4town taeyoung #aaron z #yandere disney x reader #4town aaron t #yandere

[tipsyleaf]

Hi, thank you for your Eddie alphabet and your take and opinion on him. But I just really feel like every letter is the opposite of what you wrote.

And with most ficus I see on here I think he is more of the type to fall head over heels because he has never had someone who genuinely live him so much and loves to prove it to him. Maybe at first he doesn’t know how to be affectionate but he quickly learns and he is one of those people that simply touching you is so comforting to him. His loud obnoxious self would thrive as usual but the second you walk over to join him that’s when he needs just a small hand touch or hold and the two of you would do the whole 3 squeeze thing meaning I love you as you both fake listen to something Geraeth is saying and then when you get to his place or yours that’s when he or you has to be hanging off each other. He would at first love holding you and being the big spoon and then the one time you hold him and naturally comfort him he is shocked that this could be something and he is obsessed with it.

Sorry I’ve been awake for 4 days and I’m delusional but I just feel like what what you wrote would be more like Eddie not ever having any type of affection so he is scared or nervous and just doesn’t know how to be domestic or affectionate. He was raised by his dad being the typical trash with a different partner every night and only fucking for his relief. And so that’s how Eddie thought he was supposed to be too. Because when he moves in with Wayne, we’ll Wayne never had anyone over. So I can see that as a very realistic Eddie irl. Like if he legitimately when to school with you and what like “why the fuck is this girl always looking at me?” Lmao that is actually the situation I found myself in a few times in high school. Those guys would notice me notice them and because I was the girl who never had a boyfriend but genuinely hung out with every single group. Like I made friends very easily. But when I had a crush I’d try to shrink and turn invisible. So those guys feel like an Eddie that is just not comfortable with a girl not really similar to him at least when it comes to social life and looks so he would be kind of mean and ignore you because you were probably dared to. And if something did happen since he was raised with toxic masculinity he would be that way until he actually falls and that takes a very very long time.

Here's a wonderful post on fandom etiquette before you read!

I'm just gonna start this out by saying I respect your opinion and see what you're trying to say but this just feels disrespectful on so many levels.

This is the kind of thinking that makes people not want to join in on the fun parts of fandom.

As someone who's been in fandom for almost 14 years now it's getting really tiring seeing people try to make characters fit into little boxes. The point of fan fiction is for fans to make content of the media they consume.

FAN MADE CONTENT, BY FANS FOR FANS!

We as fans do not NEED to fit the portrayal of canon content, we are not the creators of the media we consume. And a lot of fan fiction is based around content we don't even get to see.

Like with this anonymous ask, you can interpret a character anyway you feel like you need to. But that doesn't mean you need to push that idea onto other people.

An finally to whoever you are to sent me this ask:

Please don't do this ever again to anyone let alone just me.

The only reason I'm even responding to you is to use your ask as an example of how to NOT act in fandom. And if you really didn't agree with how I represented a character you could have just not read it.

When writing for Eddie I used my own experiences to go off of from being bullied for quite literally my entire educational experience until college. I find him the most relatable because of what we do know about him. Like a lot of people do because we hardly know anything about Eddie.

So maybe in the future think before you send.

Sorry to be flooding the tags with this, just making sure it's reaching it's intended audience!

#🌿 ivy replies #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #stranger things x reader #fandom etiquette

[wizardcurse]

i wanna hear your thoughts on chainsaw man, if you don't mind 👀

MY THOUGHTS, you say?

This is only about the anime as I haven’t read the manga or engaged much with csm at all besides that. and sorry that this is disjointed this is just my natural unfiltered sleep deprived word splatter

OKAY. so once I adapted to the graphic gore and constant sex jokes and channeled my inner edgy teenager and adjusted to how bizarre and alarming it was… I was surprised but I actually started to really enjoy it. because I feel the disjointed cynicism and humour and general awfulness of it fits this bleak awful universe it’s set in and makes it all the more believable

I really love the idea of an object or concept becoming a devil and having an appropriate level of threat and danger based on how people perceive it? and that it can change with major events and become worse over time and fluctuate. I think the concept is what got me hooked.

I really want to know more about the universe it’s set in. it’s fascinating to me. It was casually mentioned that the Soviet Union exists??? What year is this anime even set… Are nuclear weapons present in this universe? I feel that nuclear energy would be the most threatening devil but there’s been no mention of it. Or any epidemics? or natural disasters? instead the gun devil is the largest threat. also if the gun devil appeared in america why are bits of it all over japan? how did it get there? can devils cross oceans. do they do interplanar travel or something. do you get extremely culturally specific devils that are only found in specific countries. are there geographic influences. WHY is everyone suddenly so obsessed with denji when he just had a puppy chainsaw possess him

I loved the time loop episode and I really loved seeing the characters get fleshed out! I love the tiny bits of lovely mundane normality in the series too like aki just trying to live and do cooking and do the laundry which gets destroyed by denji and power turning up. poor fucking guy

Strange thought but now I’m wondering if people can be forcibly manipulated in order to deliberately increase the power of a devil? if you kidnapped 1,000 people and made them develop a severe phobia of spoons for example, would the spoon devil gain immense power. is that just how it works. can you merge devils persona style. what is the most contracts anyone has ever made, is there a world record?how do you stop ordinary people from making contracts?

If you can have devils as more abstract concepts could you end up with comic book villains or characters manifesting? memes? a situation where all popular media has to be very carefully controlled? how does consumerism and capitalism influence devils. I NEED THE LORE. have devils always existed or is this a recent phenomenon? if they’ve always existed then would older devils be stronger? ANCIENT SOCIETIES WITH DEVILS? dinosaur devil???

the christian imagery is interesting and I'm curious to see where it is going. especially that painting in the ending where makima is holding denji like mother mary holding jesus… interesting that all the graves are in western style too

if there’s an infinity devil is there gonna be a Death devil? contracts and devils they are so interesting to me. the devil hunters are SUCH assholes. the way denji and power are completely treated as tools and have no agency. the way aki is treated by pretty much everyone is ridiculous this guy can’t even eat his apples in hospital in peace. I would peel apples for him at his bedside. I LOVE aki. which is very typical of me I always fall for characters like him. I love characters doomed by the narrative and revenge driven. It’s terrifying and devastating but also morbidly hilarious seeing him battle with the depths of grief juxtaposed to the flippant attitude of everyone else who shrugs it off and can go back to laughing

I am also fascinated and in love with Makima. I have to know what her deal is. she can’t be human… I would listen to whatever she says and end up destroying the world for her <3 she is the girl manipulator of all time. THE BIT ON THE TRAIN AND THE HUMAN SACRIFICE SCENE… damn

Okay where was I going with this. So chainsaw man! it’s definitely not the usual kind of thing I’d watch, and I don’t think I’d have continued past the first two episodes if my friend hadn’t sat down and watched it with me. but I really am interested to see where it’s going? and kind of concerned now that I think about it. like if it is going to use any real world historical events, like wars? that’s probably my biggest fear, can't see that being done tactfully

BUT YEAH THE ANIMATION… was so good. MAPPA really is something else. and I love the openings and endings, I can’t believe every ending was different. insane anime. ultimately it’s a nightmare but I enjoyed it. might try to read the manga next so I can get some Answers

#watches an anime. me immediately: how would the archaeological record and biodiversity be influenced by this chaos #thank you so much mordecai for letting me ramble this was very cathartic! #answered

[everlastingfable]

(sorry if ive asked this before but) who exactly is smeaton? what do you like so much abt him?

omg thank you spoon I will go nuts 💖

so I briefly talked about who mark smeaton is here but basically he was a bard in 1530s england who confessed to adultery with the queen and got himself, the queen, and four other lords executed

as for why I like him, it's probably mostly because I'm not able to get enough information to satisfy my curiosity. he's an enigma. mark smeaton was a real living being. there's real facts about him, things he said, done, made, etc. but also he was a commoner so there's also so much about him that isn't known and probably will never be known because he wasn't important enough to make note of. like, aside from he's a "very handsome young man" and "one of the prettiest monochord players" I legitimately cannot find any description of what he looked like. not even his hair color

he's a bard. he could dance, play the lute, monochord, and many other medieval instruments I don't remember the name of. but while we have king henry viii's songs and poetry, we have absolutely nothing of mark's. well actually that's not entirely true, there is this sheet music that might've been mark's that he wrote for anne boleyn. the handwriting matches apparently? but it's not for certain

what was he like? the information we do have about him is from comments made by the lords etc that didn't like him. he was said to be arrogant which makes sense if he was getting a lot of attention from the royals, but how much is that actual arrogance and how much of it is lords and ladies getting pissed that he's trying to act like he's one of them and speak to them as equals? paper was expensive so it's very likely he never wrote down prose or poetry where we can know what he thought. we have nothing about what he thought everything we have is from other people's writings

there are times where I learn things about him and it makes me doubt if mark was ever a real person at all. how could someone so influential be so forgotten? he rarely gets mentioned in tudor history and when he does it's as one of the five men who were executed. the biggest mystery about him is how he was spending like two or three times his yearly salary. where was he getting the money? was he really receiving that much in bonuses from the king and queen? was he doing "favors" and getting extra money that way? we don't know! the accounting books for the five year time period he was employed at court were destroyed/lost (I am frothing at the mouth)

did you know queen mary (henry's first daughter) tried to start a rumor that queen elizabeth (yes that queen elizabeth and henry's second daughter) was actually the daughter of anne boleyn and mark smeaton? the way how he is both so involved and yet nonexistent drives me insane. I have so many questions about him and when I try to find answers I just end up with so many more questions. I know I could probably just make headcanons like I do with my fav fictional characters but mark was a real person. there's actually right and wrong answers but I don't know what they are! I need to time travel so I can study him like a bug I'm not kidding

and there's also the chance that my obsession with joey batey projected onto mark smeaton (he played him in the wolf hall/bring up the bodies stage play) who is depicted as such a little shit and sopping wet kitten in the books there's no way I wouldn't love him. like

(the cut off word was "tears") he's so pathetic I love him so much. he's the ultimate side character who I wish was in the story more because he'd actually be a really really good foil to thomas cromwell. they're both commoners who tried to social climb in henry's court, and cromwell was the one who basically set everything up and used mark to bring down anne boleyn and her circle. I didn't get a screenshot of this but in bring up the bodies someone asked cromwell why mark and he responded "I didn't like the way he looked at me" just that sentence and how well it shows that cromwell thinks of mark like he's a pesky fly I am so

there's also the fact that I cannot for the life of me find a recording of wolf hall and I know it's really unlikely that I'll ever find one because it's not a musical so this itch will never get satisfied. why don't you just watch the tv shows? because 1) it's not joey playing mark and 2) based on the gifs I've seen he's not pathetic enough he's too suave and charming

it's honestly just this inability to find enough information to satisfy me that's riling me up all the time. did you know in the wolf hall/bring up the bodies script book joey is the first one credited? I know it's because he's first alphabetically but man does it feel like salt in a wound when photos I can find of him in the play are like this

#stopping because I'm losing my mind #hhhhhhh #metaphorically holding his face in my hands and begging him to give me his secrets #wolf hall #mark smeaton #asks #spoon cca #thank you spoon! #maybe I should write a historical fic about him like my sister told me to lol #long post

[sburbanrelapse]

i held an apple in my hands and dreamed it a heart

it's not your fault. never really was. you've never asked for any of my adulation, not a lick of my obsession. i sit here dancing on telephone poles and choking myself to death in power lines and you're supposed to take responsibility for the hanging corpse gently swaying in the breeze? no, no; you were innocent. you were under no duress, no pressure. you made the best choice you could

and i'm happy

because if i set aside my all-too-characteristic trepidation for a second i can tell you'll be happy, too

but i was born with a void in my stomach i only ever filled by weaponizing you. and so now i'm left with nothing but this gnawing, crushing misery, that hollows me out as if with a spoon. scraping, scraping, scraping away at my cilia, at my flesh, at my bones

want to know something awful? does it matter, if you do? i've trampled all over you with my presumptions already, anyways, one more can't hurt

every foghorn in my mind screams that none of this will work for you. calling out that it's too soon, too quick. that all this is being made under too much duress. your boyfriend made a group chat just to worry about you and he's so close to the brink of a mental breakdown it'd be tragic if i wasn't a monster who didn't care even a lick about him. he can't handle this, those traitorous speakers whisper into my ear, blaring at a hundred sixty decibels. he's already falling apart. he's already sacrificing his other relationship for you. all this is doing is keeping the cage around him shut tight

i'm smarter than the foghorns, luckily. i know that he loves you. that you love him. that nothing else matters, but that. that i should check to see if i can get a bridesmaid's dress in black

if you aren't fiances, frankly, you might as well be. his parents may as well be yours by now, given the job your father's so steadfastly failed at. he's as much a home to you as you are to me, and you've seen how i act around you. want to go ring shopping? there's pop-up jewelers all over the streets here, i know a place if you want to sign all that away, away, leave me behind as you finally embrace that light you'd shown me

maybe it'll be too quick. maybe it'll hurt. i'll try not to say it's good if it does

christ, look at me. you're inviting this into your house tomorrow? all this? this ruined, thorned wreck of a woman who can't make up her mind as to whether she wants the best for you or the very worst, who aided and abetted the revelation that's blinded you instead of waiting for it to shatter you naturally, this crying, desperate girl begging you not to leave her when you have to go out for groceries for an hour? terrible. why? why do you tolerate me at all?

why do you care about me?

why do you like me?

why do you love me?

i should have talked to you sooner. immediately after that campaign. i was already intrigued by you then. i could have coaxed you out of your shell, instead of the other way around. i could have wormed my way into your life like a parasite so much sooner. we could have been together, by now. and you'd be straining against the stitches waking up every day and wondering why you felt like dying just that little bit more

all i had were the mad fantasies of a gibbering fool, all along. you don't like women that way. even if you did, you'd never like me. i'm so resolutely not your type you'd catch frostbite in seconds. but,

but i wish,

god, i don't even know why, i know it's not going to amount to anything, i hope,

i pray,

i wait for the day you get married to him. what was it i said, earlier? i can handle planning your wedding, but not your funeral? i stand by that. so i wait. think about what i'd do to make that day all the more special for you. wonder how many amaryllis flowers are too much, too tacky

and when you walk down the aisle, hand in hand,

i'll be sitting there, radiant in my delusions, waiting for you to leave him there and take me with you

i'm so sick. bring me a bucket? i want to vomit all this out.

#kicking it in the asylum #a normal and healthy amount of love expressed in a safe and adroit manner #poetry for broken little girls with cracked porcelain faces