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#I feel like some kind of wall broke inside me... I can only sleep and draw sweethearts
rafeandonlyrafe · 1 month
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crimson red part three
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words: 900
warnings: 18+ only!!!, NON/DUBCON, STALKER!RAFE, PSYCHO!RAFE, male recieving oral, face/throat fucking, manipulation, violence, blood, knives, bruising, threats of murder, pregnancy
part one / part two / part three
rafe has no life outside of stalking you, nothing to do except for follow you at all times and fuck you whenever he feels like it. he has a house, paid for by his father, but he barely steps foot inside. he sleeps most nights at your house now, but not in the bedroom with you. he likes you tied up and secured, usually bleeding, with him resting peacefully in the next room.
his constant presence has gone from unnerving to reassuring as you've gotten more used to it. you expect to see rafe at every turn, to have his steady hand guiding yours.
“good morning baby.” rafe knocks on the door to your bathroom where you're hunched over your toilet, spilling your dinner from last night before you can even consume breakfast.
“get out here!” he shouts, expecting that you're doing your makeup or hair, nothing more important than seeing him.
you stand quickly so he doesn't get suspicious, swigging some water in your mouth before spitting it in the sink before opening the door, a demure smile on your face.
“wanna give you a blowie, rafe.” you offer before he can even say what he came looking for.
“is that so, good girl?” he smirks, watching you sink to your knees, right there in the doorway. you tug at his pants and underwear until his cock is revealed. you smile when you notice he's still soft. you know he's watching you as you lean forward, tongue and lips tracing along his slowly hardening length.
“you want it bad, don't you?” rafe questions, a smile on his face, hoping he finally broke you of your streak of bad attitude. hoping he's gone from having to force you every night to you coming willingly to him.
“love your cock.” you hum against his length, sucking the head into your mouth now that he's fully hardened. you bob your head as rafe moans, eventually having to stop moving to just slacken your jaw and allow rafe to thrust inside of you, fucking your throat with as much furocity as he does your cunt. he spills down your throat with a satisfied sigh.
“you can take a shower in my bathroom if you want.” you stand up quickly. rafe has made the guest bedroom his own, including your hallway bathroom, always using it instead of your en suite. you’ve adapted to it, just as you’ve adapted to him being your shadow. “i love it when it smells like you.”
rafe gives you a wide grin, and you know he’s falling for your act.
--
you listen closely, eyes moving to the clock as soon as the water starts. two minutes. you’ll wait two minutes before fleeing. the second hand seems to take hours to tick, but eventually the two minutes hit and you’re creeping through the house, praying the water has warmed up enough for rafe to get in, the spray of the shower masking your sounds.
you glance at your phone, letting out a sigh of relief when it says your uber is closeby. you know you can’t take your care, there’s no way rafe doesn’t have it tracked.
“hello, uber for y/n.” the driver is a kind looking older woman. you send a silent prayer that rafe doesn’t blame her and lets her live as you climb into the backseat.
--
“where the fuck were you?” rafe yells the second you're inside, the door shut behind you. you can see the rage in his eyes, the pure fury.
“you tricked me? you sucked me off just so you could sneak out you fucking whore?” rafe pushes you into the wall of the foyer, not even waiting to get further into the house to chew you out.
“you're a fucking stalker rafe, don't act surprised i try to get away!” you tell back, own anger bubbling over, unable to bite your tongue any longer.
“you told me you were mine! ive been getting better!” rafe shakes your shoulders. he's been getting marginally better, being slightly carefuler when fucking you, mainly not cutting into you or bruising you too badly.
“rafe, you're fucking crazy!”
“no, i fucking love you!” he shouts back, his hands squeezing even tighter on your arms. he can't stand to be so close to you anymore, shoving you into the wall and backing up.
“this isn't how you treat someone you love rafe!” you yell.
“how about this?” rafe pulls his long knife out of his sheath, sticking it out towards you, the hallway suddenly feeling half the size.
“rafe.” you say softly. either you're going to convince him in this moment to stop this behavior or you're going to accept your death and let him kill you. “this has to stop. i can't keep doing this. you're killing me.”
“i am going to kill you!” he takes a step closer, the knife aimed at your chest. “tell me where you went!”
you keep your mouth closed for a second too long, rafe exploding in anger again. he raises the knife but pushes into the drywall to the side of your body. “tell me! where you cheating on me?”
“of course i wasn't!” because as much as you know it's wrong, you are just as crazy about rafe as he is about you.
“then tell me where you were!” rafes booming voice is bound to cause attention as he pulls the knife out, pointing it at your stomach. “im going to kill you if you don't tell me right now.”
“if you kill me, you'll be killing your son too.” 
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mx-pastelwriting · 8 months
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Blonde Haired Stranger
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Carlisle Cullen x GN! Reader
Summary: Hitchhiking your way through forks, luck hits you at night as a kind man offers you a ride.
Warnings: Hitchhiking, Stranger
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Moist air hugged you as the wet sky chilled the air, walking on the moonlight-lit road, holding yourself from the endless shivers. The silent void of the night broke as the rubble of a car drove behind you, instinctively raising your hand then sticking up your thumb.
Walking backward, looking at the car, biting the inside of your cheek, holding what little hope was there. Sighing in relief as it slowed, pulling up, watching as the window rolled down, a handsome blonde-haired man greeted you with a gentle smile.
"Need a ride?" His voice is calm and friendly. Nodding, he opens the door from inside. Getting in the car was clean; there were no knickknacks in sight. Easing into the warm seat, forgetting the stranger, "Where to?" His voice breaks your moment. Looking at him, smiling shyly, "As far as you can take me, please," he nods, then drives away.
Finally, out of the cold, relaxing in the stiff car, no air blasted you in the face. Looking at the air vent, then seeing the air wasn't on. Quickly, you see his hand move to the warm setting, then turning it on. The warm air melts your cold cheeks, making you sigh quietly.
"Where you headed for?" Looking at him, you saw his face more clearly, with smooth skin that accompanied his light eyes lit by the car's logo lights. "Away from Seattle, they don't very much like people like me." You laugh, having your fair share of experience being a hitchhiker there.
The air went still for a second, knowing you might have messed up your ride. "Sorry, I did mean-" "No, it's a sad thing to hear is all," he says to your damage control.
"Yeah, it is, but what's your story?" Earning a laugh that makes your cheeks flush, "I'm coming from work." His words perk your interest. "Oh, what do you do for work?" "I'm a doctor at the hospital here," he said, nodding to the information, knowing he's not out of the clear from being a killer just yet.
Telling about your dreams and wants, he listens, even inputting his thoughts without judgment, looking out the window and watching as the forest flashes by never changing. Your eyes grow heavy, as did your head, laying it on the cold window, then closing your eyes. As much of a fight you put up, sleep won in the end.
Waking in warmth, feeling the soft fabric underneath you make your body jump up, scanning the room in a flight of panic, the cream-colored surroundings flood your vision. Looking down, seeing the bed you laid in before, the sheets colored the same, its soft fabric curled around you.
Calming down, slowing your movements out of bed, realizing your shoes were no longer on your feet, biting back a curse, then looking around for them, seeing them nowhere in sight, you ditch them, walking on your toes, not wanting to make the wood floor creek. Quietly opening the door, then walking out into a dim hallway with only one exit.
Turning out of the hallway, a big living room greets you, its wall of glass windows letting in the early morning light. Jumping at the noise from behind, making you spin, "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," said the same blonde stranger standing in the connected kitchen. The noise was the glass he had put down, watching as he opened the fridge, pulling out some juice, then pouring it into the glass, then moving it to the plate of food.
"Please eat," he says, then turns back, putting the juice back. Slowly walk to the food, weighing your care if it's poisoned. Seeing as he hadn’t done anything last night, you sit at the counter. Digging in the food went down fast, it being your first real meal in days. "I also got you some clothes; you can keep them," he says, pointing to the folded clothes that sat on the counter next to you.
"Thank you," you say tiredly, then go for another bite. "You can freshen up in the room you came from if you need to." He says with a smile, then walks off, "Wait." You choke out, causing him to turn. "I didn't get your name." Your words made him smile. "Carlisle." He responds, then disappears into his house.
Looking around the house, you see the doctor is very well off, finishing up, then grabbing the clothes while saving your thoughts on how the fuck you got here for the shower.Hitchhike
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Hello, I hope you enjoyed if there is and grammar mistakes or misspellings sorry about that feel free to let me know in the comments, have a great day/afternoon/night!
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mythicalcowboyatheart · 6 months
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Meat and great 2: Id fuck me
Part 1 part 3
A\n: if you know me irl and you see this…no you didn't. Smut below the cut!
Warnings: spencer is still a creep, afab reader ,smut, consensual sex, kind of bondege
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When I woke up I felt something strange on my wrists and ankles. I opened my eyes and I was in a different room than the pit I woke up in the previous day. My wrists and ankles are tied to the bed posts. I pull against them, they don't break. I observe the room more closely, there is plain white wallpaper, and band/movie posters everyware. There's also a nightstand to the right of me, to the left of me the bed is pressed against the wall, across the room is the door, there are no windows. As I am looking around there's a knock on the door and in walks Spencer with a tray of pancakes and orange juice. “Good morning Love! I brought you some breakfast.” he says in a cheery voice. “Oh and I hope you don't mind, I have upgraded you to a room!” “Thank you.” He sets the tray of food on the nightstand, and takes a seat next to me on the bed. “So how did you sleep?” He asks as he lifts one of his hands up to push back a strand of your hair. “I don't know, okay I guess.” “Well that's awesome! Do you want to eat before or after you take a shower?”
‘a shower?’ I thought confusion was probably apparent on my face as Spencer began speaking again. “Just so you know i won't leave you in there alone, and there are no windows so dont think about yelling or running.” he smiled. “I guess ill shower first.” he nodded quickly untying my legs. 
‘I could kick him right now but my hands are still tied.’ I thought as he came up to the head of the bed and turned toward the nightstand and opened the first drawer on top. He pulled out a pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs. I raise an eyebrow. “Don't want you to be too uncomfy.” Spencer states as he grabs my right wrist and cuffs it, the he unties my left arm and brings it to the right side cuffing it as well, then finally Spencer unties my right wrist leaving only the hand cuffs on me as he helps me off the bed.
We walk down a dimly lit hallway, we pass a few closed doors till we reach the end of the hall way. Spencer stops walking and opens the very last door to revel a bathroom. Like he said now windows and no way out. He pushes me in to the bathroom and hes not far behind closing the door and locking both of us in the room. I turn to him “So how am I supposed to get my shirt off when i am handcuffed?”i  question spencer responds “well i have extra coles for you here love so ripping one shirt wont really mater.” ‘more clothes? How long has the psycho been planing this for?’ “Ok well can you help me?” He nods and with a packet knife i just know noticed he was holding Spencer cuts the shirt from collar to  the bottom of the fabric, then he begin to cut the short sleeves in half to make it easy to removed while i was still bound by the cuffs. After that i was left in a bra and he still hasn't removed my pants. I see Spencer staring straight at my chest. Oddly, I didn't hate him looking at me this way. It was kinda hot. What is wrong with me? While i was thinking spencer had un hooked and cut both of my bra straps in one swipe, leaving me topless in front of him.
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He picked me up and sat me on the counter next to the sink. Then he kissed me and i kiss back.”your beautiful.”he says as he re connected our lips this time more hungry I was so wet for him, I wanted to feel his cock inside of me. He turned me around and put my hands on the wall. He kissed me hard, and I could feel his cock growing against my stomach.His tongue explored every inch of my mouth as he pushed me up against the wall. I was getting so hot and bothered that I needed him inside of me.He broke our kiss and began to undress.He looked at me with those eyes that were darkening with lust. He took off his shirt and pants and then he pushed me back down on the counter and pulled my panties off. He slid them off my feet and tossed them aside. I spread my legs wide for him and felt the cool air hit my pussy. He moved closer to me and put his cock in between my legs.He rubbed it up and down my slit, teasing me. I closed my eyes and moaned softly. He put it right on my opening and slowly entered me. It felt so good, him stretching me out with his length He held himself there, not moving just letting me get used to the feeling of him inside of me. I felt so full, so complete. I couldn't wait to have all of him inside of me He started sliding in and out of me. I was so wet, I could feel it running down my thighs. He grabbed my hips and started pounding into me harder and faster. My head was thrown back, I was moaning loudly. I didn't know how much more I could take. He leaned over me and started kissing me hard. He bit my lip and then sucked on my tongue. He thrust deeper and harder until I could feel myself about to cum.I could hear him moan and I knew he was close too! wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me. We both came together, I could feel his cock throbbing inside of me. He fell on top of me and we both caught our breaths. He rolled over and laid next to me. He kissed my forehead and said "I love you" ‘i might be starting to love him too’ I think. But i reply with a nod.”okay lets actually shower.” Spencer laughs.
Then we actually took a shower since I was still handcuffed Spencer washed my hair and body. Then he washed himself. After we were done spencer wrapped me in a towel and  dried me off then he un-cuffed me and re dressed me, he put one of his shirts on me and some black panties.He quickly throws a pair of boxers on and then he led me back to the room i woke up in earlier i lay down a and spencer turns to leave the room. “Wait!” I shout as Spencer turns to face me again. “Yes love?” “Can you stay in here with me tonight?” I said quietly. He nods and closes the door behind him as he walks back over to my bed and lays next to me. I move closer me facing the wall with him behind me. He gets the hint and wraps his arm around my waist pulling me close.i close my eyes and think…
‘Maybe this isn't going to be too bad. I could stay here for a bit longer.’
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a/n: if you like this let me know and ill make a part 3!
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Little Bunny 4
Yandere William Afton/Steve Raglan x reader
Dead dove do not eat! - you will get exactly what's in the tags!
Tags: FNAF, mature themes, mentions of death, little bit of FNAF lore, mentions of Springlocks.
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A few hours later at around 1 PM, your eyes flutter open. You stretched your limbs, yawned and got up.
You went to the kitchen, feeling hungry, you quickly made yourself a Sandwich.
After you were done eating, your friend walked in. She looked like she slept too.
Giving her an confused look, wondering why she was here and not at work, you broke the silence, "Weren't you at your work?" you asked as she looked at you "I was at work while you were sleeping but my shift ended early today." she answered as she poured herself some coffee.
She sat down on the chair across from you, taking a sip from her coffee "Feeling better?" she asked as you nodded, "Yes."
"Wanna go to Mr. Raglan and tell him what happened?" she asked again as you nodded.
"Yeah. Hopefully he will be kind enough to believe me."
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You stood infront of Steve Raglan's office again, knocking softly and awaiting the response from inside.
"Come in." Raglan's warm voice could be heard again. You gently opened the door and stepped inside. The smell of fresh coffee was in the air once again.
"Oh hello there." Steve met your gaze with his warm one. "I've informed the owner of the Pizzaria. He called back a few minutes ago and told me the damage has been repaired and the security has been improved with a sliding metal fence on the entrance." Steve then handed you a paper with all the stuff that has been adressed and fixed as you sat down across Raglan.
Steve leaned back in his desk chair and cleared his throat, "Could you please tell me what happened in details?" he asked and leaned forward with his elbows on the desk
"Well, I went to the bathroom and when I got back I saw the parts and service door slightly opened. Knowing that it was closed before, I went in to check and I saw a yellow rabbit leaning against a shelf. I honestly thought nothing of it but it's eyes were white and glowing, almost as if it was active or something. I then went back to the office and after like 5 minutes I heard a door being slammed. I checked all the cameras but there wasn't anything." you paused to think,
"Then there was this tall yellow rabbit. It came to the office, shattered the glass on the little window and I began to panic...I ran out, and-and the rabbit laughed...almost as if mocking me...I ran to the kitchen, and there was the golden version of Freddy which I found earlier sitting against the wall." You paused again to remember everything but Steve broke the silence
"So you hid inside the kitchen?" he raised his eyebrows as you nodded, "Yes. Actually I was moving the Golden Freddy and found out it was pretty lightweight and I also discovered that it's back could be opened and there was no endoskeleton inside it, only the hollow, uhm- suit. So I pushed my legs inside and slid in, crazy I know. I wore the hollow animatronic like a suit." you stated as Steve nodded
"Ah, that was once Fredbear from the first location. It is a specialized one, just like the yellow rabbit you mentioned which we call Springbonnie." Steve made clear and took a sip from his coffee
"So they are like suits? Animatronics with no endoskeletons inside?" You asked. "Well, yes and no. Both of these are so-called Springlock suits. They indeed have an endoskeleton inside of them. They can be worn by a human and have them perform in the animatronic mode. When a human decides to wear the suit, there's a small switch that needs to be flipped in order to retract all the metallic parts inside so it's wearable." Steve told you as you nodded.
"But why was Gold--I mean, Fredbear hollow?" You asked and Steve chuckled a little, "Well, after Fredbear's Family Diner closed, the endoskeleton simply got removed from him and it got renamed to Golden Freddy after the main Animatronics arrived. But Springbonnie still has the endo inside." he continued, "Maybe that's why he came after you?" Steve asked as you began to think
"I don't think so, because it wasn't moving robotic, it was moving smoothly like a human would. I even hit that guy and it sounded like it actually hurt it." you answered as Steve raised his eyebrows again
"You hit him?" he asked and you nodded, "Yeah, I hit it." Steve then leaned back in his chair again, "Whoever was under that suit was extremely lucky..." he said as you gave him a confused look, "Lucky? What do you mean by that?" you asked and Steve let out a small sigh,
"Well, remember when I told you that the endo is still inside Springbonnie? But after all this time laying around, without maintenance the Springlocks inside the suit may become unstable and more likely to...snap..." he snapped his fingers.
"And what happens if they snap?" You asked
"It wouldn't be pleasant at all. Just imagine what it would feel like if you get crushed by metallic parts." he said with a smirk
"Then you'll die?" you asked as Steve nodded, "Yes. And it's not a painless death either. The parts break your skin and flesh, crushing your insides, and if you're lucky you will bleed out fast enough before you have to experience more pain." Steve leaned back again.
"Oh...damn..." you sighed.
"So, anyway. On your third shift, you should be okay. The suit was found empty on the ground and got placed back to the room where you found him." Steve assured you as you nodded.
"Thank you so much, Mr. Raglan." You smiled at him as you stood up. "Nah, it's no big deal, I'm just glad you're okay that's all." Steve smiled and stood up too, extending his hand for a handshake.
You shook his hand and left his office, not noticing his face hardening and his lips twisted in a predatory smile.
"So you hid inside Golden Freddy, huh? You're smart and that's why I like you so much. But let's see what you will do on our next encounter..."
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snowflakeanimelover · 2 years
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Hello! Could you do a Oneshot of yandere Aizen—Bleach x GN reader x Hinamori? Or will this be quite spoiler-ish? Reader found out his betrayal plan and tries to watch out for Hinamori while leading her away from danger since reader have become close to her. But the reader instead got caught up in his plan. If that's not allowed, may I try to submit another different request? Thanks!
I can certainly try! If it’s spoilers, I can just put that in the warnings :) I wasn't given very much detail for certain things so I just winged it. I hope you like it! 
Relationship: Sosuke Aizen x Gender Neutral Reader
Fandom: Bleach
Warnings: YANDERE, Spoilers :0, friendship, obsession, Aizen being a creep, so is Ichimaru
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— — — —
Unknown Fate
You knew exactly how this would play out. Hinamori is such a kind-hearted person. She connects with almost everyone around her, especially with her captain. And with her as your friend, you couldn’t risk his plan to ruin her. 
You somehow found out about his plan. And he clearly tried his hardest to keep it a secret from everyone in the Soul Society. But, you had a feeling that he knew you knew of his plan. Even before, his infatuation with you was scarred in your brain. The way he would find a way to talk to you always anytime of the day. His hands lightly touch your shoulder, waist, arms, or neck almost every time he talks to you. You once respected Sosuke Aizen, the captain of the fifth division. That is, until he started getting too close to me. Hinamori was his Lieutenant and she, as well, respected him. Although you didn’t know the major details of his plan, you knew that what he was planning was certainly not expected. 
One morning, his body was found speared high on a building wall. Found by none other than his Lieutenant. She screamed so loud, you could hear it a few miles away. You found her being taken away, along with Izuru, to be locked up. Hitsugaya explained to you what happened and told you to keep her calm. You agreed without hesitation.
“I-I don’t understand….” She sobbed, clutching onto your clothes. You sat with her in the cell, holding her in your arms as she cried.
You patted her shoulder gently, helping her cope with this new information. Of course, you couldn’t tell her about this plan of Aizen’s. His death was a surprise, but you knew that he was still alive. All you knew was that he was going to manipulate Hinamori, and you had to protect her.
— — —
“A spell?” You asked the tenth captain. You held a tray of food for your friend, but found Hitsugaya standing by her cell. His eyes held sadness as he watched over her sleeping form. He told you she broke out in the middle of the night, attacking him and accusing him of killing her captain. You apologized for not keeping a close eye on her like he told you to. Your friend seemed to do something when you’re gone for only a few minutes. Although you wished to watch over her as much as you could, some alone time would be nice. 
Hitsugaya forgave me for my accident of leaving her alone. “It’s a spell to protect her. Strong on the outside…”
“But weak on the inside. Right.” You remembered learning about the spell in the academy.
He nodded, now turning away to go back to business. “If anything happens, get me.” He ordered before leaving you alone.
— — —
The next night, you find Hinamori still sleeping soundly on the cell floor. With a small sigh, you decided to sit on the floor to watch over her. But just as your bottom touches the wooden floor, a figure pops up in the corner of your eye. With quick speed, your eyes meet captain Ichimaru’s. His usual wicked grin seemed to get wider. You stand up quickly, preparing for anything because you know he’s also part of Aizen’s plan.
You decided to speak up, not afraid of holding it in anymore. “What are you planning?” Your eyebrows knit together in concentration. His only response was a chuckle. So low, it sent shivers down your spine. You were starting to get frustrated. “Where is he?!” 
“You're helping him, you know?” His voice shook you to the core. “In a matter of time, he’ll get what he wants.”
Your hand reaches to your weapon, but a certain loud sound stops you from attacking the enemy. Looking back, your vision is covered by a large amount of dust circling in the air, unable to see Hinamori’s cell. In seconds, a shadow emerges from the dust cloud, now trampling you to the ground. With a struggle gap from the impact, you try to process who attacked you.
“H-Hinamori?!” You call out in shock. 
Your friend had anger clear on her face, her weapon placed right over your throat as she stood over you. She was angry, but tears streamed down her cheeks. “W-Where is he?! (Y/N)...you’ve been helping him, right? Where is he!” Her weapon inches closer, now poking your skin.
“W-wait! Hinamori! I’m not helping him! He’s p-planning something, and I don’t know where he is!” Your words didn’t seem to faze her. You look behind you, where Ichimaru stood. To your dismay, he wasn’t there. “Ichimaru!” You screamed, pushing Hinamori off to catch the enemy. 
As you ran, your friend was chasing you, clearly intending to hurt you as she cried and angrily yelled for you to tell her where her captain was. 
If I find Aizen, then I can prove to her what a bastard of a liar he is, you thought. You catch the white haired captain walking into a building. A building you recognize as Central 46. Normal soul reapers, like you, aren’t allowed in the building. But you didn’t care about the rules at the moment. Your top priority was to get Aizen.
You entered the building, with Hinamori in tow, and followed Ichimaru further in. You were right to find Aizen during your chase. But deep down, you knew this was some kind of trap. Behind you, all of Hinamori’s anger flew away when her eyes landed on her former captain. 
More tears streamed down when she dropped her weapon, slowly walking towards him. “C-Captain Aizen…”She cries in happiness.
“No! Hinamori!” I try to stop her. Ichimaru’s arms wrap around my form, contemporarily stopping me from doing so. 
When Aizen hugs her, your eyes widen in shock when his sword goes through her body, blood flying to the floor of where she stood. Her limp body falls to the ground, her eyes wide open in shock. No words were coming out of her mouth.
“Momo!” I scream, struggling out of Ichimaru’s grasp.
“Let her go, Gin.” Aizen’s smooth voice echoes through the room. 
When the captain followed his orders, your knees hit the floor beside Hinamori. Your hands are shaking her in desperation. “M-Momo… wake up!” Your eyes drift to Aizen. He was smiling down at you from where he stood. “What did you do?! She…she respected you!”
His long fingers gracefully capture your chin, thumb rubbing small circles in your skin. “Don’t you see? It was you who led her here.” He speaks. 
“B-but…I wanted-”
He shushes you, a smile growing on his lips. “You were all a part of my plan. You are all that I needed left to continue my plan." Your mouth opened and closed like a fish, trying to say something. Anything. When you finally think of something, sudden pain hits the back of your neck. Black spots cover your vision in no time, your body falling limp in Aizen's arms. The last you heard was his low chuckles echoing throughout the room.
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countrymusiclover · 1 year
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9 - Haunting Vengeance
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Part 10
Gemini Runaway
@dragonixfrye
Klaus vamped us upstairs where I went into the bedroom I had changing into the green tea shirt and some sleep shorts that I had on before we went on our date. Walking around the house I finally found him standing in front of a large fireplace. Stepping around the couch I plopped down on the floor. “Alright so I’m gonna need a knife and some candles. Then you sit across from me.”
He vamped through the house coming back with what I needed crossing his legs when he sat down across from me. “What exactly should I be prepared for, Raelyn?”
“Basically it will be like when you showed me your memories with your sister. Except it will take a lot of my strength to do something like this. I’ve only ever heard of witches doing something like this so I will be very rusty at this…give me your hands please.” Holding my hands out flat he placed his larger ones in mine. “Inteo….Merabas hic libatal….Insertia."
Klaus’s eyes shifted to focus onto mine then dropped down to the knife near my feet. The candles around us light up for a brief moment then returned to their normal flame control. "What exactly is the knife for then if this is a mind spell?"
“I have to link my body with yours since you’re immortal and can’t die. You don’t have to worry about it. I am just doing this as a precaution.” Picking up the knife I drew the blade lightly across my palm doing the same to Klaus’s where I quickly began chanting since he would heal at a faster rate then I would. “Phasmatos tribum, melan veras raddiam, onu pavadus ponemus.” Insertia.." Klaus sniffed trying to control the urge when he smelt the siphons blood. The candle flames grew bigger once more before there was a slight wind and Raelyn closed her eyes so he did too entering the witches mind.
“Uncle Joshua, how can we help? We don’t have magic of our own.” Jacob asked, holding my hand in his while he led us outside into the middle of nowhere in the woods of Portland.
I began to feel nervous in the pit of my stomach. He had shown up at our house saying that we needed to come with him immediately and since he was our Uncle we listened. "You said there was an emergency. What kind?”
"The problem is our Coven of witches will die unless you two Merge." He stopped in his tracks drawing a knife from his back pocket.
Jacob looked back at me. "Merge, what does that mean?"
"It's a tradition that our witch Coven must do. Twins in our family are in line to be leaders. That's what you two will be. You must contain your magic together and the stronger of the two will become the leader." He explained handing the blade outward to me.
Reaching my hand forward I heard someone breaking through the treeline seeing our mother and father. "Joshua stop! I told you that I don’t want to help you. I will not let you kill my children!”
“I don’t care, Eliza. Incendia Bulla.” Joshua raised his hand trapping my brother in a ring of fire before he grabbed his head making Jacob drop to his knees screaming. “Ah Sha Lana.”
I screamed trying to move forwards but I smacked an invisible wall. “Jacob!”
“Let my boy go, Joshua!” Our father yelled but he got thrown backwards into the dirt.
My mother ran forward shoving her hands on the fire wall, burning her fingers until the magic in the ring died down letting her inside the circle. She ran forward grabbing her brother by her shoulder with her hands turning red siphoning his magic. “You can go to hell, Joshua. You aren’t my brother anymore.”
“Eliza you still don’t realize do you…” Her brother grabbed her by her throat, choking her making her claw at his wrist. “If the twins don’t merge before I die then the entire coven dies along with me. That means you and your children will die even if they don’t merge!”
Raising my hand I broke the barrier spell chanting the words in a panic. “Solvet…Now let my mother go and we will merge.” Stomping up to my brother grasping his hand in mine.
“Raelyn. Jacob, no!” She cried when he released her trying to catch her breath.
Uncle Joshua walked around our parents placing his hands on top of our intertwined hands. “Let the Merge begin then my niece and nephew.”
Sniffing through tears I watched the image of my brother dead at my feet. Clutching my hands around Klaus’s I gasped drawing my body back wrapping my arms around myself shaking. “After that moment my twin brother was dead because of me….because I wanted to save my mother from her own brother.”
“I’m sorry, Raelyn. I would have killed that man for doing that to anyone in my family.” Klaus told me where I could see his jaw clutching at the thought of seeing someone else hurting the witch in front of him.
Hugging my knees to my chest I turned my hands into fists with my knuckles almost turning white at how hard I was pressing them closed together. “I feel like a monster when I wake up in my bed from plotting a nightmare where I got my revenge on my uncle Joshua. I shouldn’t want to hurt him or the rest of my supposed family but - he took my best friend and twin from me - he tricked us into becoming a killer just like he is.”
“That’s normal in my world, Raelyn. And if you wish it I could go compel some of my hybrids to go and kill him.” He reached over, placing his hand on mine.
“No!” I snapped my head up seeing him raise a brow at my forwardness. “If anyone gets to hurt him someday it will be me and only me ... .god I should like a horrible person don’t I?”
“I’m a thousand year hybrid vampire, Rae.” He sent me a smirk raising to his feet tugging me up to stand alongside him.
“But Klaus-“
He cut me off, tucking some hair behind my ear resting his hand on my cheek where I leaned into his palm. “Rae, stop talking for a second and think. You didn’t know that the Merge meant to kill one of you because he lied. Yes you may have been stronger than your brother and that is sad. But you have to stop having a pity party and enjoy it otherwise your brother may have died for nothing.”
Flinging my arms around his neck I sniffed happily into his shirt. He wrapped his arms around my waist kissing the crown of my hair. Breaking the hug he squeezed my hand in his right. “Thank you, Nik. I’m sorry that I am an emotional mess.”
“I’m sorry" are two words you never have to say to me ever again, Raelyn Lane. Now will you join me for a family reunion?” He smiled and I sent him back the same look when we traveled to a storage place where he got a phone call and it apparently was Stefan. “Stefan. Miss me already?”
Stefan responded when he put the phone on speaker so I could hear him. “I'm just calling to thank you for my freedom.”
Klaus responded by sending me a cheeky smile coming up on the storage locker. “I like to believe I'm a man of my word. More or less.”
Stefan spoke back. “The thing is, it came at too high of a price. You took everything from me, Klaus.”
“Let bygones be bygones. Trust me, resentment gets old.” The hybrid warned him.
“You know what never gets old?” Klaus opens the truck listening to his former friend. The coffins have disappeared. “Revenge.”,
Klaus growled. “No!”
“Stefan what are you trying to do? You shouldn’t take someone else’s family” I snapped at the vampire not liking that he seems to not care. If Jacob was still alive and he did this I might want revenge too.
Klaus snarled into the cell where he just might break the whole thing in his tight grip. “What are you doing?”
Stefan responded. “I'm just enjoying my freedom.”
Klaus threatened the vampire flashing me his golden werewolf eyes. “I will kill you and everyone you've ever met!”
Stefan clicked his tongue hanging up the phone “You do that and you'll never see your family again. I wonder, Klaus. As someone who's been one step ahead for 1,000 years. Were you prepared for this?” Lifting my head up to the original hybrid I didn’t know him well but I knew he would make him pay for stealing his family.
Comments really appreciated ❤️
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igotanidea · 2 years
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The Raven's daughter: Morpheus x Matthew's daughter part 6
previously: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5
Part 6
This is one of those days.
The day when y/n feels overwhelmed with simplest task, getting out of bed seems like a challenge and going to work require the same amount of energy and motivation as climbing the peak of the highest mountain. From the very morning it seemed like the Murphy law will be the sponsor of the upcoming 24 hours. Everything that could fall from y/n hands, fell and broke, she was tripping over her own feet, the bus was late and to make it all worse, when she was crossing the street to get to the campus some asshole run right through the puddle drenching her pants in water. y/n was exhausted but inside it all the rage was slowly finding its way towards the surface. It was only a matter of seconds before explosion.
-Damn it! – she yelled entering the faculty room. She didn’t sleep quite well that night. Obviously she could just ask the Lord of the Dreams to help her, but considering that he would probably brag about it for the rest of the existence she stopped herself. To make those sleepless hours worth something she tried to work on her novel but her brain refused to work. In desperation (and maybe in some masochist reflex) she found herself browsing the pages for writers. This only made her more frustrated. There were so many talented people out there. The ones that truly deserved some fame and recognition. Who was she to even try and compare herself with them? Maybe her time has already passed, she achieved nothing and she has no right to teach? Maybe this feeling of incompetence will stay with her forever in a form of lump in throat, guilt and hopelessness? Y/n groaned and shut her laptop. Maybe she could try and do some paperwork instead. She had a stack of essays on her desk, assigned to the student about a week ago. It was highest time to check them and write some feedback. She reached for the first one, but was not able to focus. y/n felt like banging her head against the wall. Nothing worked for her nerves. Yes, nerves, even if she didn’t want to admit it. Finally, she just laid in bed, eyes closed, waiting for the morning too come. Unfortunately, so far it was no better.
- Hey, y/n! – a fellow teacher greets her cheerfully but immediately backed up seeing her mood – Woah, what’s with the attitude?
- Oh, don’t even get me started! – she pointed at her wet pants – Can I just go home and fall sick? I don’t think I am myself today.
- Cheer up, I got spare pair in my cabinet. Seems like you need them more than I do now.
- You want me to wear your pants? Not that I’m complaining, but….
- No buts! You don’t really have much time till your class so get yourself together and take what I give you. Or rather what I’m going to give you.  – with that words the friend takes from the room in order to gather the clothing.
The point was, that Kat, the chemistry teacher, was nothing like a stereotypical scientist in trench coat. To give her justice, she was the most colorful person at the university, both faculty and students considered. She loved wearing pink, red, yellow and neons, that made her distinctive. One thing for sure, no car would ever hit or wet her since she was practically a street light, visible from a distance. Kat was also a great fan of embellishments of all kind – sequins, nail heads, you name it. Having that in mind, even if she chemist was the closest thing y/n had to a friend, she was quite scared of what may be handed to her as a emergency pants. In her imagination she already saw some sort of circus knickerbockers or something equally crazy.
-Here! – Kat was back surprisingly quickly – this is the best I could find on such short notice.
-This is… - y/n hesitantly looked at what was handed to her - … not so bad, actually. – the simple pair of slightly wiped black jeans, quite adequate for a teacher. – That’s new. I never knew you could own something so simple, Kat.
-Please. I have bad days too, I’m only human. Now, be quick and meet me at lunch, I got a proposition for you. The one that you simply cannot refuse – Kat blows a kiss towards y/n and run for her own lecture.
-Why does everyone insist on speaking riddles to me! – y/n annoyance came back and she was forced to take a few deep breaths to calm herself down. – Head in the game, girl, head in the game – she spoke to herself heading towards the classroom hoping for full auditorium.
However, it seemed like someone up or down really made it his purpose to make this day a disaster. y/n heart dropped when she spotted only a few yawning students, as sleepy as she was. Feeling her spirit barely float above the ground she addressed the present.
-What happened? Where is everyone?
-Absent, professor.
-Well, I can see that – y/n spats – sorry, I suppose I’m not the only one who’s already struggling through the day. – she shook her head – you know what, there’s no point in having this lecture when there are only so little of you. You can go home or … do whatever else.
-But won’t you get in trouble professor? – one of the girls asked
-Why would I? No one showed in the classroom and everyone’s an adult. This class is not obligatory after all. No one will be chasing you or me. – with such assurance the students had no further inhibitions to skip the lecture, leaving y/n alone with her thoughts.
Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to call the class off – y/n thought to herself feeling the overwhelm coming again.  She still has an hour till lunch break when she was supposed to meet with Kat and had absolutely no idea what to do with that time. Knowing well enough her brain was functioning on some other frequency, the only way to deal with it was to get involved into something stupid just to kill the time. y/n was never the person to get addicted to her phone or any other electronic device, more of a book lover, but desperate times call for desperate measures. She reached for her smartphone and headphones to escape reality, but apparently someone else needed her more.
-Professor y/l/n, do you have a minute?
-Sure – y/n sighed – what is it?
-I heard you called off the classes, so I thought maybe I could use that extra time for some consultation?
-About what? A book? A novel?
-Some history stuff, actually.
-History? – y/n looked at the student with confusion – And I’m the one you decided to ask for help. No offense, but we have other teachers competent in that area.
-Well…. To be honest, I asked professor Gadling first, but he bustled me off to you.
-Really? That’s quite unusual. Is the subject so specific he had nothing to say about it? He seems like a hotshot to me.
-He is, but apparently had too much to do – the students look down – so, will you help me professor – using the most obvious trick with big, glistening eyes he added – you’re the only hope left for me.
-There’s no need to be melodramatic, is there? – y/n motioned him to a chair – what’s troubling you?
-You, professor. – the students smiles mischievously
-I’m sorry? – y/n raises her eyebrows in confusion – you should not speak to me like that. I’m your teacher after all. A little respect would be nice.
-You are not my teacher. However, I can most definitely teach you something about your future which is now connected with my brother’s.
-What? I don’t understand a thing of what you’re saying. Wait – a wave of realization hit her – you brother? Do you mean…. Dream?
-I do.
-Who are you exactly – y/n move in front of her desk crossing her arms in anticipation.
-I have many names, but you may know me as Destiny.
Destiny. – the girl repeated in flat voice. – Awesome. Are you here as some sort of messenger?
Destiny’s face expression did not falter in the slightest. God, he’s so serious. Almost like his younger sibling.
-You should not mess with an Endless calling me that. I am no messenger, human.
-I’m sorry – y/n sighed again – I did not mean to offend you in any way. I just… My life has been kind of crazy lately.
-I know. I know everything. And I’m here to give you a warning that it will be crazier. You should brace yourself. There’s a journey ahead of you.
-A journey? What kind of journey?
-I can only tell you as much as I told my brother.
-Wait… he knew?
-Yes.
-I knew he was holding something back from me. What kind of journey are we talking about?
-The one that will fill some blank space from your past. Questions will be answered and you will be different than now.
-Is there any point in asking you any more questions?
-No.
-Well then, thank you for the heads up Destiny – she rolled her eyes but became sad the next second – I don’t know if I’m strong enough to meddle with my past.
-You are.  You shall find soon enough how much power lies inside you.
-You just barely met me. How do you know that? – she looks up at her student.
-I know – he repeated and a shadow of smile lingered on his lips – you are much more than you think yourself to be. And for some reason, I believe in you, y/n y/l/n. I will watch over you to the very possible extend.
-Why? Why do you care about me?
-I have a feeling about you, y/n. We shall meet again – with those words he rise from his seat and moved towards the door – You are now under my protection.
-That really does make me feel special – y/n grinned – the Destiny’s protégée. It has a nice ring to it, can’t lie. Does it mean I have a connection with you as well as with Dream?
-Not the same kind, but yes, you can call it like that. You humans have a puzzling habit of defining things.
-Nah. That’s just something I do desperately trying to keep my life together.
-Goodbye, y/n. I’ll see you soon.
The girl just nods her head, serious expression on her face. She sensed that this is all she will get from Destiny so decided to just roll with what was coming her way. One problem at a time. Her visitor disappeared behind the door and when she looked after him the corridor was empty, as if nothing happened. y/n would probably think that she imagined it all if it wasn’t for a single sprig of myrtle laying on her desk. What is the meaning of this –she wondered taking the plant in her hand and examining in it carefully.
-Professor?
-Oh, god damn it, what now? – she spat and spun around annoyed.
-I’m sorry – the poor girl cringed.
-No, I’m sorry. That was way harsher than I intended. Can I help you with anything? -she strenously calmed herself down.
-Actually, I’m here to deliver a message. The dean wishes to see you, professor. He said it’s an urgent matter and he doesn’t wish to be kept waiting.
-Thank you, I shall see to him immediately.
***
-Professor y/l/n. All things considered, it is always a pleasure to see you. – dean Winchester motioned for y/n to sit down behind the great, oak desk and sat down on the opposite side.
-Thank you, dean. But… all things considered?
-I’m pretty sure you realize this is not a social call.
-I do, sir, but with all due respect – did something happen?
-y/n – dean slightly moved forward. Using my first name – y/n thought – that’s highly unusual­ – let’s be serious. You called your lecture off. Do you think that was within your power? You should have asked for a permission from me first
-I….. – the girl started, quite perplexed – who told you? – I’ve got a mole amongst the students – a single sentence crossed her mind
-Doesn’t matter. And let me finish. You’ve been acting strange for the last couple days. Is everything all right?
-That is not the word I would use, but I’m figuring things out.
-I;m really glad to hear it. Unfortunately, I can’t pretend that this didn’t happen. That was unprofessional and exceed of your prerogatives, professor. Hence I am forced to punish you, though I take no pleasure in that.
-Sir, if I may – she chimed in – barely a few students showed up on the lecture. My classes involve discussions and brainstorms therefore just a couple of participant is not sufficient for classes to be effective.
-I understand that. Given your perfect track record and highest ranks in evaluation I don’t intend to be harsh on you. You may treat it more like a warning, like a ….
Punishment for example? – she looked down intertwining her fingers to stop her hands from shaking.
The dean did not bother to answer that, just looking at his most prominent lecturer with mix of care and worry.
-y/n – he spoked softly causing the girl to look at him again – is there anything you wish to tell me?
Yes. Yes, of course. I;ve just recently found that my father is a Raven, I have some sort of connection with anthropomorphic personification of a Dream and I am under some sort of protection from analogic personification of Destiny, who happens to be his brother. Right, I want to tell you all about it. And then end up locked up in a psychiatric ward. I wonder if that’s something that was destined for me too.
-No. There is nothing of importance.
-I like you y/n/, but I cannot let my sympathy affect my objectivity. Professor Gadling will take your classes for the next three days. Consider this as forced leave of absence. Take care of your matters. I wish to see the same y/n/ I knew for the last two years back, do you understand?
 -Yes sir.
-Good, now go. Have your lunch and think about what I told you.
y/n stood up and rushed out towards the faculty cafeteria where Kat was already waiting for her, pacing in anticipation.
@marvelsmylife
@wickedly-grim
@mind-of-a-girl
@thereeallink
@lisacarolined
@boofy1998
@endlessdreamqueen
@mikariell95
@shadowluna25
@sippysthoughts
@kaoriloveskeiff
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mostlikelynothuman · 1 year
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How To Share A Body | Side A
A playlist about learning to live
Recommended listening: Songs in order, Side A first
Listening time: 1h 31m
Side B here
Listen on: Youtube | Spotify
The Calm - Outline in Color
I swear to god I’m going to rip this fucking house down This is worse than the comedown
Mouth Breather - Secrets
You speak when you should listen Close your eyes when you need vision
Wrath of a Gentle Man - The Wise Man’s Fear
Obstinance manifested Blind-eyed closed-minded disaffection
Perspectives - Hands Like Houses
All my life I've tried letting you inside, to see the world through my eyes And all I see is time I've wasted
The Architect (Part 2) - Secrets
If I live my life like you want me to Would you be proud of me
Covert - Oceans Ate Alaska
You know I have this unrelenting fear That I’m wasting every minute, every hour that I’m living here
Coming Undone - Imminence
With our backs against the wall There’s nowhere to run, there’s nowhere to go
Crash And Burn - Dayseeker
I don’t want to die having wasted all my time On hating those I hurt
Debt - The New Age
We can’t right what we’ve wronged With our eyes closed, and our hearts broke
Onyx - The Afterimage
I’m unable to utter a single word with confidence I’m losing passion, lacking feeling, fading colors
Symptoms - Meliorist
The things I’ve seen, will they haunt me in my sleep The things I’ve done, will I always bear their mark
Catalyst - Whether, I
They say for each step forward you take three steps back What’s the point of progress with two feet in the past
Wasn’t Enough - XXI
I can’t change what I’ve done And I can’t help who I’ve become
Healing - Under the Flood
I’m not awake, I’m dreaming This’ll all go away it’s not happening
The River and the Rock - The Wise Man’s Fear
I say I’m lost and you say you’re all gone Was this the cost of finding what’s beyond
What I Wish I Could Forget - Too Close To Touch
They say I haven’t been myself But I’ve lost so much that I love, so that can’t help
Chasing Shadows - Imminence
Say the words and you will set me free Before the sky is falling down on me
A Clown and His Pipe - Hands Like Houses
What would it prove, to wrench them from my heels To shed them from my heart, desperate for some kind of change
This Life - The New Age
It's not what you thought, you thought you would Sail through this life but it's never that easy
Wasted Youth (Part 1) - Secrets
Hold out your hands, take it all in This is now your mistake, so carry the burden
Web Weaver - Our Hollow Our Home
The mind can be a terrible thing Just don’t let it sink in
After The Rain - Novelists
It’s coming in waves, just breathe And keep your eyes closed
Charlie Machine - Outline In Color
No more burden, pride, or pain Only you can halt this suffering
How We Survive - Secrets
This world gets dark but you are not alone It’s never too late for a fresh start, a new home
Weight - Hands Like Houses
Now I’m stronger for whatever comes Let the blood rush as I rise to my feet
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darkparablesfan · 3 months
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The Hawk and the Little Sparrow
Hello- So this is my first post here- so sorry if it's not that great looking. So here is a work of mine- With Hawks with my OC- Risa.
The lively city sounds of Musutafu snuck inside the restaurant’s walls giving much needed background noise for the slow night. There weren't that many customers that night so Risa had some time to prepare for tomorrow. She was listening to some music, humming and singing along as she chopped up vegetables then moved on to preparing the different meats. 
But it was cut short when the restaurant’s bell chimed loudly as the entrance door was opened and chimed again when it was closed. She quickly let go of the knife and ran to the counter.
“ Welcome -” But she couldn’t finish what she was saying as the sight in front of her shocked her. It felt like her heart had fallen into her stomach. 
There he was, number three Hero, Hawks at her door, looking a mess. His jacket was covered in dirt and mud ( at least she hoped it was just mud ). His gaze was almost empty. But he still tried to smile as he looked at the women standing in front of him. 
“ Hey there little-”
With a loud thud the young men collapsed onto the floor. His vision started getting dark, then he heard quick footsteps closing in and Risa calling out his name. 
A few hours later when he woke up he found himself among soft and puffy pillows and a blanket. He quickly pushed himself up which only led to him feeling a strong sting in his chest. When he looked down he saw he wasn’t in his costume anymore. He was wearing an oversized t-shirt that could easily be easily like a tent for him. In several places, his arms were covered with bandages and bandaids. He glanced toward the door as Risa walked in with a tray in her hands as soon as the door opened.
“ Ah, you are awake Keigo!” She smiled at the blond haired man. 
" Yeah, sorry about that." He tilted his head as his hand was placed behind it and scratched it. 
“ You can pay for the cleaning later.” 
“ Oh come on little sparrow.” Keigo whined. 
“ Oh come on, I was just joking!” 
“ I know, I know. Sorry!” 
Risa’s cheek puffed up a bit like a puffer would puff up. 
“ Well, now that you're up, I can tend the wounds on your face.” 
She grabbed the first aid kit box and sat down at the edge of the bed. She put some alcohol on a cotton swab and applied it to Keigo's wound, who jumped back with a loud hiss. 
“ That stinged baby bird!” 
“ Oh shush you! If you keep moving it will take longer. You can swear at me if that helps.” 
“ What? You really think I would cuss at a lady like- Ouch!” 
Within a few minutes, all of Keigo's wounds had been treated. He pouted like a small kid as Risa put away the box and came back with the tray. It was packed with different kinds of food. Almost all of them were his favorites. 
"Wow! You made all of these?”
“ You were sleeping for a while and I guessed you would be hungry.” 
“ You know me too well- It’s dangerous. What if some villain catches you and interrogates you about me?” 
“ I doubt they would care too much about what your favorite food is. And that you keep sleeping with that Endeavour plushie.” 
“ That was low Risa.” 
The young woman let out a laugh that filled the otherwise quiet room. Keigo let out a small snort under his breath then began to eat. Risa just watched him with a content smile on her face. Seeing people enjoying her cooking always made her happy and she felt proud of her work. When Keigo finished he leaned back and patted his stomach.
“ Ah, I feel like I'm gonna explode.” 
“ Hey, there are some crumbs on your face.” Risa leaned closer, gently wiped off the crumbs from his cheek. With her thumb she could feel the soft skin, but it was covered by a band-aid. Seeing him like this. It broke her heart. So many questions swirled in her mind. How did he get these wounds? Did the Commission send him on another secret mission? 
“ Your face will stay that way, little sparrow.” Keigo’s teasing voice shook her out of her thoughts. 
“ Don’t tell me what to do- You are not my dad!” 
“ Yeah, I could never be like him.” He lets out a laugh but just as soon he lets out a yawn “ Ah…I guess I’m still a bit sleepy.” 
“ Alright. Move over.” After she put the tray on a table the brown haired woman kicked off her shoes and took off her socks. She then climbed into the bed and lay next to the Pro Hero. 
Keigo teased her, "Don't you seem a bit too confident?" as he lay down next to her so they would be face to face. 
“ I had a long day as well. So shush.” 
He let out another chuckle. He smiled at her with a faint but genuine smile. 
“ You know you don’t have to do all this for me.” 
"Well, it just so happens that I like helping others. Especially if it’s a reckless Pro Hero who causes me a faint heart attack almost every time I see him.” 
It was true, it wasn’t Keigo's first time fainting in the restaurant but Risa still couldn’t get used to seeing her childhood friend being all beaten up from fights. And that’s just the physical signs. Anytime she tried to get him to open up even more. 
“...Hey.” Risa’s soft voice broke the silence. 
“ Hm?” 
“ Whenever you feel like it, I’m ready to listen, okay?” 
There was no response from either of them. Risa just looked at the blonde man who stared back at her. Keigo turned towards her his arms wrapped around her body. Risa pulled him closer. Keigo’s body felt so much smaller than before. Like a small, delicate doll. The young woman's fingers slipped into his soft hair and gently caressed his head. When she could feel something warm on her clothes she let out a sigh. A sigh of relief. 
She would hold Keigo and keep petting his head even after Keigo fell back asleep. Maybe this hawk was out there to serve others and help them, but this little sparrow was even more determined to take care of him.
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agent-starbuck · 1 year
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Post-Detour. Somewhere in North Carolina. Mulder decides to make it up to Scully after ditching her to go chase Mothmen.
--------
After a quick shower, he throws on a pair of jeans and a grey t-shirt before trekking through humid night air to the motel office. The bell jingles as he steps inside and he squints at the harsh fluorescent lighting, searching for the clerk behind the desk. Reruns of Three's Company drones on in the background.
“Uh, excuse me?” His tired, weary voice scrapes coarsely against the column of his throat.
A middle-aged man emerges from another room, resting his forearms on the counter while twirling a toothpick between his lips. He gives Mulder an unamused, blank stare.
“Whatcha need?”
“I was, um, wondering if you, by chance, had any of those little bottles of wine?” He pinches his index finger and thumb together for a visual. “Or any alcohol, really. Doesn't have to be wine. And cheese, too. Any kind of cheese would do--”
“This look like the Hilton to you, mister?” the man interrupts in a thick, southern drawl. The sitcom audience laughs on cue through the tinny speakers on the TV.
“Ah, no. No, it does not.” A self-deprecating grin tugs at his lips as he turns to walk out the door before stopping to peek his head around the frame.
“Vending machines?” He inquires out into the void.
“Around the corner next to the ice machine. Ice machine's broke, though,” the voice behind the wall replies, and he digs through his wallet for the crispest dollar bills he can find.
Back in his room, he locates the small tray that the ice bucket usually sits on and arranges his vending machine goodies, along with two flimsy plastic cups, on it. The presentation is lackluster-- almost comical-- but it's the best he can do under such short notice. He looks in the mirror to run a hand through his drying hair, and clears his throat, before walking over to Scully's room next door.
His knuckles rasp across the solid, metal door, and he waits anxiously, scuffing his shoes against the rough concrete outside. Her light is still on, the soft glow diffused by the curtains drawn shut in the window and inviting a swarm of insects to dance around what little light is bleeding through.
He hears the click of the lock moments before the door finally opens. Scully stands before him in a pair of light blue cotton pajama shorts, a white tank top, and a darker blue silk robe, still open in the front. A pair of reading glasses are perched precariously on the tip of her nose, and she's clutching a book at her side, her fingers caught in the pages like a makeshift bookmark.
He struggles not to stare at her with a dumbstruck look on his face but is wholly unsuccessful. God, she is beautiful-- standing there like a sleep-mused goddess. Seeing her like this feels intimate. Sacred. Any moment he will have turned to stone. It's what happens when mere mortals chance upon the Divine.
“Mulder? Is everything okay?” A crease forms between her eyebrows. He has the urge to smooth it away with a kiss.
“Yeah, um… can I come in?” He manages miraculously without so much as a waver in his voice.
She steps aside, and he walks past, standing awkwardly with his peace offering balanced atop his outstretched palm as she closes the door behind them. She doesn't say anything. Only nods curiously at the tray he's holding, setting her book down on the nightstand.
“I know it's not exactly wine and cheese, and I know I'm not supposed to be consorting with you in your hotel room,” he swallows as he puts the tray down on the table. “But I, I'd like to make amends for being a total idiot the other night.”
“Mulder… you didn't have to do this.”
“It was no trouble, really. For some reason the, uh, vending machine didn't have mini bottles of wine--”
“I'm shocked,” she feigns disbelief and he feels his heart grow lighter at her playfulness.
“I know! But I thought grape juice and highly, over-processed cheese and beef jerky sticks would be the next best thing.” He rips the clear, plastic covering off the cups and pours juice into each one.
“Mulder?”
“Mhmm?”
“That sounds like a terrible combination.”
His face is stricken with a look of disappointment as though she just told him Sasquatch doesn't exist.
“But, somehow, it's exactly what I'm in the mood for.” She offers him a breathtaking smile. He offers her a cup of juice in return.
“Cheers, Scully.”
Read more...
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ladymarvel27 · 2 years
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Still my friend?
Pairing: Liam Payne x Reader
Warnings: Smut, nothing more.
Word Count: 1.6k+
Liam was my old friend, super close. He lived closer to my house. I was two years older than him. I left my hometown four years and three years ago we lost touch. He was now super famous, a teen pop star. The 19-year-old hottie. But he was a nice guy and I had a tiny crush on him, all before he had this fame. I liked him when he was a frail, nerdy kid who was bullied by others daily. I used to motivate him when he was alone.
After a long hectic semester, I returned to my home, hometown. I always had a small picture of him in my drawers next to my bed. I was reading my book, newly published this year. This was a sad fact that he won’t even remember me anymore. My eyes were getting heavy so I shut the book and fell asleep.
A knock on my door awoke me. I glanced at the wall clock. I got just a five minutes nap?!
“Hey sweety, can you come downstairs, someone’s here to meet you.” It was my mom. I looked at myself in the mirror.
“Will be there in a few minutes.”  I fixed my looks and clothes and went downstairs. “Who would be there to meet me?” I murmured to myself. I went into the living room to find my dearest aunt. Who did I expect, my prince charming?  Well, a girl like me doesn’t have one. And I know I don’t deserve him for the kind of girl I am. I am super lazy but efficient. People don’t like me and I think Liam also didn’t used to like me much. That’s why he didn’t talk much after the left the city.
  I had a small conversation with her when mom asked me to go head to the grocery store. I pick up my keys and left. It was a five minutes car ride. Outside the store, I saw a heavy crowd of girls. They all shouted like they’ll have gone crazy. “Liam Payne is back in the town!” A girl screamed. OH NO!
Why did had to happen on the same day I returned?
I saw him coming out of the store. He was walking very fast along with his bodyguards. He turned his head a little and made eye contact with me. I also couldn’t look away either. My phone ringing interrupted the eye contact as it broke. I answered the phone. It was my mom. “Sweety, I just texted you the list of things you need to bring.”
“Yeah, I got that.”
“Okay, return asap!” She said and hung up the phone. I shove my phone back into my pocket. I looked around. He was gone now. I felt a hollow in my chest. I went to the store and did all the shopping as fast as possible. I want to go back into my room to cry over nothing just over a small boy whom I liked I don’t know why!
I sat in the car when I noticed my eyes were a little puffy. I need to run to my room when I reach home.
I gave all the stuff to my mom and walked to my room as fast as possible. I don’t know if she could’ve seen my red eyes. I shut the door and a tear fell from my eye. I shut the window curtains and laid myself on the bed. Hugging the pillow, I sobbed, thinking about that gorgeous boy who will never remember me.
My mom was calling me downstairs for dinner but I only pleaded to have it in my room. I fall asleep, hugging the pillows.
An irritating knock on my door awoke me. Probably my mom again. I glanced at the wall clock. It’s just 5:45!!!! She has a habit of waking up this early.  I hate it when anyone awakens me earlier than my scheduled time. I, running my hands through my hair, went up. Yawning, I opened the door to find someone unexpected. “HI, your mom let me in.” He greeted me awake. I’ve seen his pictures on the internet but right now, he looks taller. He is taller than me now, and bigger too. If I had cared for my body properly, I wouldn’t have felt so small in front of him. Well, ain’t much but, I am feeling a little bit small.
“Hi, Liam. Why standing, come in.”
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have came, seems like I interrupted your sleeping.”
“Nah, it’s fine.” I wrapped up the blanket to make space for up to sit.
“I brought some fresh flowers for you.” I turned around. He came inside and handed me a super large bouquet. It looked beautiful.
“Thank you. They are beautiful.” I took it and placed it on the table. We looked at each other. Eye contact is something very deadly.  Now it feels weird. His phone beeped which interrupted it.
“Y/n, it’s been a long time.”
“Four years, right?” He nodded.
“I sometimes missed you. When I used to return here, I wanted to visit you but you weren’t here. I was looking for just a chance and yesterday I saw you and thought about it.”
“That’s sweet of you because I too missed you.”
“Sorry, I could’ve came by afternoon but there were other errands so I came this morning.”
“Nah, it’s fine.”
“By the way, there’s a party this evening at andy’s house, why don’t you also come?”
“Yeah, I can.”
“Great. Party starts at nine.”
We had other conversations and we swapped numbers. He left.
I dressed nicely for the party. I wore a formal shirt, tucked along a pair of trousers.
I went to the party. The place was crowded. There were many acquaintances at the party. I was having drinks and talking to my friends. I excuse myself to go to the washroom.
Returning, I saw Liam in the kitchen, alone. I thought he might need some company.
“Hey!” He saw me by the door and greeted me.
 “How it’s been?” I went closer to hug him. He immediately wrapped his arms around me.
“Nice!” His large biceps around me, fuck! That felt so good. I didn’t pull away, and neither did he. Our faces moved closer and our lips brushed. We kissed. My lips went down to his neck and he gave out a low groan. The music got loud and I pulled my lips away.
“Do you want this?” I felt him getting hard against my crotch. I again attached my lips to his neck. “Yes.”
“My place, my parents aren’t home today.”
“Okay.”
“First, you leave. I’ll come in five minutes.”
“Okay.”
Our pants were lying on the floor. My hands slowly roamed his body as we kissed hungrily, lying on his bed. He pulled and breathlessly took off his shirt. I gave a hungry look to his torso, interrupted when he again crashed his lips on mine. I felt his hands on my waist. I pulled away to take off my shirt. He slid my bra strap and attached his lips to my collarbone. My hands hold him onto his shoulders and I give out a long low moan. He pulled away to look me in the eyes.
“Was that fine?”
“Yeah!” I replied.
He again attached his lips to my collarbone as I stick myself to his chest. His heartbeat was accelerating. His hands rubbed my back gently and reached to the hook of my bra.
“Can I?” He asked, his warm breath hitting my neck.
“Yeah!” He unclasped the bra hook and took off my bra. He stared at them hungrily and attacked one of them by sucking. I
let out a low moan as my hands were roaming his back.
I lay on the bed as his lips went down on my body. His hands tugged on my panties. I nodded. He took them off. I saw a bulge
between his legs. He sucked my clit making me grasp. He raised his head and looked into my eyes. “It’s fine, go ahead.”
“Yeah!”
I hold into his hair and came on his fingers.
“You have protection, right?” I asked.
He got up and opened his drawers on the side of the bed to reveal them full of condoms. “Yeah.”
He slid down his boxers as the MONSTER was released from his cage. “Do you really want it?”
“Yeah!” I whispered and nodded.
He rolled it over his length, his huge thick and hard length. I don’t know if I could take it. It was twice the average size on the internet stats. “I’ll be gentle.” He said and gently rubbed his hand on my private part. He licked his palm and again rubbed it over my clit. It was the time. He grabbed his covered length and slowly penetrate my vagina. In a few seconds, I was full of him. It was thick enough to rub my clit every time he thrust. He raised his eyebrows. I nodded. He moved and it hit the g-spot. A few thrusts later I moaned. His hands were on my thighs and mine were holding onto his back. “It feels so good”, I praised him. “Go slow.”
He lifted my legs up onto his shoulder increasing the pleasure. I groaned. “I’m close.” He moaned. My hands went to reach for my clit; I need more to reach. But before I could, I felt his hand vibrating it vigorously. His thrusts were getting harder and faster now. My body was shaking. “I am close.” A second later, my body couldn’t hold longer. His thrusts were getting sloppier. A second later, our screams filled the room. I closed my eyes and he collapsed next to me. I felt his arm tugging me. He was signalling me to cuddle closer to him. I laid my head on his chest as he pulled up a blanket on us. I felt his arms wrapping around me, I did the same. My eyes were getting heavy as I fell asleep on his chest.
A loud blaring woke me up.
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ariondevereux · 2 years
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Not me coming back to clutter ur inbox once more. (yes I'm tokrev anon once again. I feel so bad for cluttering ur inbox I'm so sorry. 😭). Omg I can't believe mila read that ask. I'm fangirling 😭😭🥰. Heeey!! I love u and ur work sm! U and nikka are such lovely people. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
You asked about Phoenix, so here are some hcs I had for them and Shiloh. This got way longer than I expected. I'm so sorry that I keep sending you mammoth sized essays. 😂
Some facts about phoenix ortega
they were originally born in Buenos Aires, Argentina but moved to London when they were quite young (around 4 or 5 maybe).
they grew up near the soho area in London and they took up a part time job in a Hmong-Chinese restaurant, so they picked up some conversational mandarin there which they sometimes practice with shiloh.
at first phoenix didn't like Shiloh at all. they have a bunch of trust issues so they were a bit suspicious about shiloh's friendliness. they think people only act nicely when they want something from them always want something from them, that's how they thought life works kind of like a business transaction, the gang and being betrayed by one of the people closest to them taught them that.
phoenix is an ENTJ/INTJ, so sometimes they can come off across as cold and rude. They pretend to be cold and heartless, but on the inside they're just a broken person who yearns for the love that they were never really given by their parents.
Shiloh and Phoenix's friendship started off as a business relationship, which lowkey- turned into a one-sided rivalry which phoenix used as an excuse to spend more time with shiloh because of Mei lmao (would often have to go to shiloh's home for meetings and stuff like that idk 😂). Phoenix has a huge soft spot for dogs which they'll never admit to anyone. Shiloh often teased Phoenix about them being a completely different person as soon as Mei was in view. Phoenix would get flustered and dismiss the teasing by telling shiloh that he's just spewing bullshit like always.
Shiloh was also a bit reluctant about Phoenix due to their reputation but the more he got to know Phoenix the more he wanted to spend time with them. I guess he was rather curious and wanted to see what was hidden behind the walls that Phoenix constantly puts up.
After Tej's betrayal Phoenix didn't show up for some of the meetings and no one could get a hold of them and so since Shiloh was the only person that they knew Phoenix was close to they sent him to find them. After stopping at Phoenix's apartment, shiloh knocked for a while but there was no answer, but after a while Phoenix opened the door. They were wrapped around a blanket with a Hello Kitty mug filled with wine on one hand and a greggs sausage roll on the other. 💀
Love Island was playing in the background and they just sat in silence for a while (yes phoenix watches love Island, they keep up with every single episode 😭). Phoenix was in a coocon in the sofa and didn't want to get up. Shiloh suggested they go for a late night drive to the beach. Phoenix at first said no, but shiloh managed to make them accept after saying that they'll take mei along.
It was late at night,they drove in silence. They got to the beach and it was dark, they just sat and watched the stars. Their backs were back to each other because Phoenix didn't want to be seen being so vulnerable, they hate that part of themselves and didn't want shiloh to see it. Phoenix finally turned around just hugged Shiloh out of nowhere. Shiloh was so taken aback he almost fell back. He put his arms around Phoenix and rubbed their back telling them thatevrythings gonna be ok. Phoenix really needed to hear that because they completely broke down.
After that Phoenix fell asleep. Shiloh didn't want to wake them up and phoenix sleeps like a log, not even a fire alarm can wake this bitch up. 💀so they essentially carried them back to the car and drove them home.
The next day Phoenix woke up like "Oh fuck no what the fuck did my drunkass do? 💀". They were really flustered and embarrassed but they still wanted to thank shiloh for that day. They were at shiloh's door but they chickened the fuck out after knocking. Shiloh opens the door to find a giant packet of Meis favourite dog snacks with a note attached to it with Phoenix's shitty handwriting that just had a smiley face on it " :))".
After that they quickly became friends. Phoenix was not used to someone being so kind to them without wanting anything in return like Shiloh, but they didn't particularly mind it. 👀. Forward to the present, Phoenix is a big Shiloh simp, they fell for Shiloh's personality, their little quirks, their teasing, the late night drives, the late into the night chats, his smile. Before they knew it they had fallen head over heels for Shiloh and erm... they become a hot mess when Shiloh flirts with them. Phoenix. exe just stops working, they're such a shy goof all honestly. 😭😭
One last fact. Ever since becoming friends with Shiloh they've been teaching themselves some Cantonese and brushing up a bit on their conversational mandarin they had learned in high school. Hmmm I wonder why? 🤔😂😂
DONT APOLOGIZE I LOVED THESE OMG
please the beach scene got me in my feelings 😭😭 i wish they didn’t experience enough pain that they developed trust issues but i’m also a HUGE sucker for emotionally closed off characters being the first one to give in. when phoenix suddenly hugged shiloh i was grinning like an IDIOT. and shiloh carrying them to the car and driving them home because they fell asleep…… me and who
and phoenix leaving a bag of treats for mei on shiloh’s doorstep SHUT UP THAT WAS SO CUTE i can imagine them literally dashing tf outta there 😭😭😭 ugh idc that shiloh can fight. if he doesn’t treat phoenix right i will fight him with my bare hands
thank you for sharing these with me. phoenix sounds absolutely lovely 🥺 they’re so fleshed out too i already love them. gonna put them in my pocket and protect them from the order 😤
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(Whoa it’s been what? A year since my last update? Who knows. Anyway, I think I’m on chapter 18 by now so that’s what we’re going with. If I already made one then disregard it. THIS is where we’re picking up on this fanfic haha. Apologies for tossing it to the side!)
(PART 17 IS RIGHT HERE)
~Pivitol~
Summary: The long awaited apology is finally here. 
Chapter: 18
Warnings: None
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The sound of your phone buzzing on your bedside table made you quickly jolt up from your rest. You peeked at the notification and frowned when you realized it was just Yuko texting you about a sudden company dinner planned later this week and not a message from Kai. Memories of last night came flooding in as you felt the creeping guilt and shame once again. Maybe it was the stress of the big project from work that had caused you to snap at him like that. Or maybe Yuko was right about the advice she’d given you in the breakroom earlier that day. Either way, you felt like shit having said all those things to him that you did. You wanted to call and apologize but the shame just wouldn’t let you right now.
You sighed and placed your phone on the charger before creeping out of bed and walking into the bathroom. The reflection of yourself in the mirror had given you a small fright. Your eyes were puffy and dried tears with drool stuck to your cheeks as well. No doubt it was from the way you cried yourself to sleep last night. You took a quick shower and ate a nice breakfast. You put on a good movie and opened the windows for some fresh air. Nothing was distracting you from the emotions creeping up on you. His hurt expression replayed in your mind over and over again. You did that to him. Right now he was probably regretting ever crossing your path. 
Little did you know that you were wrong. 
He wasn’t doing much better than you were.
At the house Chisaki was moping around for the first time in forever. Pops could only watch from afar after having gave his best advice to the boy last night. The old man knew it would hurt, but giving you space would be the best thing for right now after how suffocating Kai was acting. It gets better before it gets worse after all. “Care for a game of Shogi?” Pops asked while leaning against the wall. “No thanks. Just leave me here to die please.” Kai mumbled as he sunk further into the couch cushions than before. “My boy I know it’s eating you up but you need to hang in there. I can give you my solemn swear that it will be okay. Remember my words will you?” Kai scoffed at him and turned his head in the opposite direction. “What if that was a breakup last night? What if Y/N broke up with me? I’ve never been broken up before. I feel like my heart is covered in some kind of tar. I don’t want to eat, to sleep. I don’t want to do anything, especially play Shogi. So leave me alone old man.” Kai grumbled and covered his head with the thick fur-lined hood of his jacket. Pops had to hold back a bit of laughter after seeing the childish sight. He sighed and pat Kai’s head before heading on his way somewhere else.
For the rest of the day both of you were checking your phones non-stop, but neither of you had taken the initiative to apologize or talk to the other. Kai was trying to give you the space he believed you needed, and you were still too ashamed to text him back after the way things went last night. For the entire day the two of you were hollowed out from the inside, feeling like going through the motions of the day and missing the part of them that was half so dear. It’s rare two souls connected so quickly the way you two did. Finally later in the evening you decided you simply couldn’t take it anymore. You gathered your anxiety and bottled it up before slipping on your shoes and heading out the door. You didn’t make it far as you bumped into something firmly as soon as you took two steps out of your apartment. Looking up you gasped as familiar golden eyes stared down at you with such intensity. “Kai?” Your eyes wandered to the flowers he held in one hand and the stuffed bear he held in the other, a neatly written ‘I’m sorry’ stitched into it’s fur. Your eyes met with his again and you hardly noticed his mask was nestled below his chin, mouth fully exposed in front of you. “Ang-Y/N...” He cleared his throat and you felt sadness at the way he avoided using his nickname for you. “Kai. I uh...I was just going to come see you but I guess you beat me to it huh?” You chuckled nervously. “Yes it would seem so.” There was a bit of awkward silence between the two of you with some tension thick enough to cut with a knife. Finally you moved to the side and silently invited him in. He didn’t hesitate as he trailed into your apartment and place the items onto the coffee table. He took his jacket off and hung it up as you shut the door. The two of you stared at each other, both going to speak at the same time but apologizing to each other after stumbling over words. “Sorry aha. You can go first.” You said and he nodded. His eyes stared at the ground for a moment and it seemed like he was searching for the right words to say. Finally he looked back up at you and began to speak. 
“I’m sorry about my behavior lately. I know I’ve been a bit of an ass and it must’ve been too much for you to handle. I don’t blame you for what happened last night. I’m sorry about all the texts and the calls. I ended up jumping to conclusions too quickly and pushing a lot of stuff on you that you didn’t deserve. It’s still so early and I know I’m moving a bit fast with everything. If you can take me back then I promise I won’t do it again. I’ll give you as much time as you need with me, I swear it Y/N.” Now it was your turn to speak.
“What do you mean take you back? I’m not breaking up with you first of all. Second of all, yeah...you were a bit of an ass. Even so, that doesn’t give me the right to snap at you the way I did. I guess I was just feeling a little bit overwhelmed with the pacing of things is all. I love you and it’s not that I don’t want to move in with you. It’s just that I need a little more time to figure things out is all. I’m so sorry I yelled at you like that. I love you Kai. Please don’t ever doubt that.” His eyes were watery by now and so were yours. Without words the two of you closed the space between and held each other in a tight hug, rocking slightly side to side. “So you’re really not breaking up with me then?” He asked after a moment of quiet. You laughed and shook your head. “No way in hell. That wasn’t a break up, I promise. I love you and I’m not kidding about it.” The two of you stared at each other for a long time before he began slowly leaning down to meet your lips with his. It had been a while since you kissed like this. Maybe since his first one you two shared a few weeks back? This kiss was different, a little less clumsy and a lot more passionate. He quickly pulled away as he felt those feelings bubbling back up and creating that spark of fire burning in him. The same spark he felt when he thought of you showering not too long ago. Before you could question the blush on his cheeks, he reached to the coffee table and shoved the gifts into your hands. “These are for you. They’re my peace offering.” You laughed at him and shook your head. “Oh really? Thank you. I didn’t have a peace offering for you so instead would you like to stay the night with me here?” This was only the second time you’d stay the night with each other, and it would be the first time it was here at your place. 
“Y-yes...”
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jujywrites · 2 years
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Unheavy
oh my GOSH this WIP has been in my folders for so long............. I had a lot of fun finally finishing it. brandy-new fresh fic starring my most beloved trio~
AO3 (with art!!! By others I commissioned not me ahaha)
FF.net
or keep reading
~~~
Tohru felt unnerved when she couldn't read Kyo's eyes, even after the years she'd spent with him. It had taken him so long to let his emotions fully out so they were visible in sideways glances and half-lidded stares, visible in the myriad ways his irises changed shade. When he'd felt safe enough to do that it had been such a fragile gift, one she had to treat gently lest it disappear.
She had other things to read now. His body language, his touch, his voice. She had that intangible trusting bond with him. Faith in all of that had to be enough now.
Wasn't it?
"You're worrying again," he said next to her in bed that evening, voice sleepy-slow. "I can hear you."
She turned on her side to face him, curling her hand around his. "I'm thinking about what you said today. That I should go talk to him. You said you were ready, that you want me to, but I…"
"You still aren't sure I meant it?"
She had gotten better at reflex apologizing, but she offered a small one with her smile. "Your eyes didn't seem to match your words."
"Oh… I see." He kissed her forehead, inhaled against her skin. "Maybe some part of me isn't ready. But if that's true, I can't feel it." When he pulled back into her field of vision, he had a sunset smile. "I'm as eager to see what happens next as you are. Please, please go ahead."
A weight dissolved from her chest. With an answering smile, she shut her eyes and cuddled into his chest. "Kyo-kun."
"Tohru."
"Tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow. I love you."
"I love you. Sleep well."
###
Yuki was too old for this kind of thing. What full-grown adult turned into a high-schooler whenever his old crush came around? When they were quite firmly and comfortably friends, at that? And when his best friend was her fiancé?
Him. Unfortunately. Every time he saw Tohru, another piece fell from the wall keeping certain words contained, and today the wall took another hit. A big one. Because here she was at his apartment, unannounced, with a basket of freshly-made mochi for no reason other than she wanted to bring him some. Well, the sweets weren't unusual, but the rest certainly was.
"Please come in," he said when his brain broke through the fog of pleasant spring smells from the breeze behind her.
"It's been a while!" Tohru smiled as she said it, removing her shoes and stepping inside.
He couldn't help a small laugh. "We had lunch last Thursday."
"Ah, well—" She laughed too, cheeks coloring. "Kyo and I have been so busy, it feels longer than that. Oh!" She reddened further. "I, I don't mean to keep you long..."
"Not at all. The bookstore closes early on Saturdays."
"It's Saturday! Of course. I knew that." More laughter, flailing hands (he took the basket gently from her arm).
"How's Kyo?" he asked as he set the basket on the table. A nudge toward familiar ground.
"He's wonderful! This week was much better. He had a breakthrough with Fudou-kun, you know, at the dojo? They really connected, and Fudou-kun's technique has improved so much…"
He listened intently, asking questions here and there, only briefly distracted by her eyes or how she seemed to have absorbed the perfume of the outdoors.
He could listen to her talk forever. (He could listen to her talk about Kyo forever.)
"Here." She pulled two mochi from the basket and handed him one. "I've been talking so much we haven't tried these yet!"
He bit into it to avoid thinking about the crinkle around her eyes as she took a bite.
And then he couldn't think about anything for a few seconds, a sweet strawberry filling lighting up his taste buds so strongly he barely held back a noise that would have been embarrassing. The surrounding mochi tasted like something complementary—basil, maybe—and was the perfect consistency. He finished it swiftly and reached for another while he tried to think of what to say.
"Delicious…!" Wiping her mouth delicately, Tohru smiled at him in a way that made his pulse speed up just a bit, then said, "Kyo made those."
Heat on his neck; he couldn't blush, he wouldn't. "Really?"
She nodded, taking another. "He was so nervous, but he really wanted to. He remembered how much you love strawberries, Yuki-kun."
Yuki paused, mochi halfway to his mouth. The air changed, pressing in on him. "They are delicious." He finished that mochi, then said, "I need to thank him when I see him again."
She made an assenting noise, hands clasped on the table. "He'll be very happy you like them!"
He could still smell flowers around her. The air was still heavy. He sat up on his knees and reached across the table, sweeping Tohru's hair back from one shoulder.
Her eyes widened, pink creeping into her face. "Yuki-kun, I—"
Her mouth, too, tasted like strawberries. Her lips moved against his after a moment, and he thought her hand was on his shoulder—then all of a sudden, the hand bracing him began shaking up through his arm, and he pulled back breathing shallowly.
He stared, she stared back, and his heart sank. "Tohru." His voice was reedy; he tried again. "I'm, I'm sorry, I don't know what—"
But she stood and moved to his side of the table, hands spread placatingly. "Yuki-kun, Y-Yuki, no, it's all right." She spoke quickly, kneeling beside him. She put a hand over his shaking one. "I need to tell—"
A sharp gasp cut her off; she bent double, forehead hitting Yuki's shoulder, a pained "oh" escaping her.
"Tohru?!" His hands flew to her shoulders, but he didn't know whether to hold her or prop her up. "What's wrong?"
With a groan, she straightened and met his eyes. She'd gone pale. "I think… O-Ow." She winced.
Blinking, he followed her gaze down to see her arms wrapped around her belly.
"I mean, I didn't think—" She hissed and leaned against him again. "Oh, Yuki, I'm sorry. I need to go back to mine, Kyo has— there's— it hurts, Yuki, please…" Her voice was steady despite the broken words and her trembling body.
"Of course." He stroked her hair, willing his heart rate to calm. "It's okay, sweetheart, everything will be fine."
(He realizes he said the endearment out loud far too late.)
###
Kyo didn't expect Tohru to come back being carried bridal-style by Yuki, but maybe things had gone well.
One look at her pale face told him they had not.
"She just collapsed," Yuki said, barely out of breath from the stairs, voice calm but eyes full of panic. "I didn't know what else to do."
Kyo's stomach clenched while he took Tohru gently from him; she felt overheated even though she was shivering. "Shit. Was something wrong with the mochi?"
"N-No." Tohru blinked up at him. "Kyo, I need the heating pad, a-a-and—" She moaned weakly, hiding her face against him.
Oh. "Oh, okay." Face flushing more from Yuki's possible secondhand embarrassment than anything else, he made a path to their bedroom, saying to Yuki, "You can come."
"Let me walk, please," Tohru said when they entered, and Kyo let her down despite his misgivings. She wobbled toward the bathroom. "I need to get a, um…"
He coughed and told Yuki, "Heating pad's in the hall closet." Then he detoured to her underthings drawer and followed Tohru, getting her aspirin and a glass of water while she equipped her armor (an offhand joke that had stuck).
Yuki had plugged the heating pad in by the bed when the two of them came back, and pulled back the bedcovers without being asked. His anxious fluttering nearby was oddly comforting, after Kyo settled her in.
"I'll set it for half an hour," he said, handing her the pad to adjust. "When was the last time you looked at the calendar?"
"It came early, I think." She gave a wan smile.
"Well, I figured that much."
She giggled and immediately winced, breathing raggedly.
"Okay, baby, just lie down." He stroked her forehead when she did, watching her carefully, laying his other hand feather-light over her abdomen. "Would more pressure help?"
She shook her head; he took his hand away.
"Temp's good?"
"Yes." She sighed, eyes closing.
"Good. You're home and comfy, you're gonna feel better really soon."
He felt Yuki close by him while he waited for her to fall asleep, and held back the urge to take his hand.
When her breathing deepened, when it had evened out for some time, he sighed softly and slowly got up from the bed. "Come on," he said to Yuki, taking a few steps to sit on the floor at the foot of the bed.
"Shouldn't we leave?" Yuki followed anyway, sitting beside him.
"Nah. She'll sleep through anything for a while now." He tilted his head back against the bed with a sigh, closing his eyes. Just a few moments.
"Your mochi's still at my place," Yuki said, quiet voice sounding loud in the silence.
"No problem." He grinned, feeling warm when Yuki smiled back. "They were for you, after all. How were they?"
"When are you going to make more?"
This guy. "Whenever you like." And he took Yuki's hand before he thought anymore. "I hoped you'd like 'em." Then, because he was internally panicking, he changed the subject. "So what did you do to her?" he said, in a lightly ribbing tone.
Whether Yuki's blush was from the hand-holding or the comment was (thankfully) impossible to tell. He looked down, maybe at their hands. "I… well, I…" Then he looked up, directly at him, and said so softly Kyo wanted to lean in, "I kissed her."
"You… kissed her." He kept his face neutral and his breathing even. There was a chance he'd misheard. Then again, if things were moving faster than he thought…
"I kissed her," Yuki said a bit louder, his hand clenching in Kyo's. "Kyo, I'm sorry, I said that to her too, but she'd been looking at me and I just felt— something and I really didn't mean to but she wasn't upset, at least I don't think so, she tried to say something before s-s-she…!"
"Hey." He clapped his other hand to Yuki's shoulder, squeezing. "Breathe easy, idiot. I'm not gonna kill you."
Yuki shook his head with a weak laugh. "Now I know why she was in pain. I seriously thought I'd caused her harm."
"You could never. Besides, sometimes her cycle gets thrown off by stress she's causing herself."
"If I made it worse, then—"
"Nope." He squeezed Yuki's shoulder again and lifted their joined hands, contemplating for a moment before gazing at Yuki again. "Stress can happen because of good things too."
He saw that blush returning and purposely waited. At least part of Tohru's instinct had turned out to be correct, so maybe he could… Well. He wasn't planning to bust the guy's ass too hard, but what was the harm in a little bit of fun?
"She did have something she wanted to tell you," he said more softly, leaning in just a bit. "And she was excited to tell you. She'd been wanting to for days, Yuki. The mochi was an excuse and a reason."
Yuki opened his mouth to speak (and Kyo wasn't going to, he was not, he'd wait for—).
"So you'll have to wait until she wakes up." He allowed a half grin. "I'm not taking it away from her just because her uterus decided to be a brat."
The grin grew full at Yuki's desperately stifled laughter. "Kyo—"
"I literally do not care, and you shouldn't either, especially since Tohru doesn't. I mean, it took me a while until I realized I felt weird about it just 'cause I figured she felt really weird about it, since ninety-nine percent of dudes are like, actually weird and really stupid about it. Not buying tampons or whatever, or flipping the hell out seeing or hearing about tampons, for fuck's sake. It's her period, it's normal, fucking grow up."
He blinked then, taking in Yuki's expression; it was the smile that showed everywhere but on his mouth. His own face felt warm suddenly. "Okay, so I didn't mean to rant at you, specifically? I just have… opinions on this shit."
"You're really good for her," was all he said, a few beats later than Kyo would've liked.
"I mean. It's basic human decency…" Oh my god, shut up. Idiot.
"Either way," Yuki said, and then he smiled with his mouth too, and Kyo saw for the millionth time why 99% of Kaibara High had been in love with him, and that hadn't even been the real Yuki. He almost smirked, realizing. This Yuki was all theirs. His and Tohru's.
"Do you think some tea would help her feel better?"
From the floor, Kyo blinked up at Yuki standing, at his held-out hand. The train of thought had disoriented him. "Uh, well, if you're offering…"
He'd swear Yuki sparkled at him. "Oh, tea is one of the few things I've learned how to make properly."
"My god, the prince figured out how to boil water," he intoned, taking Yuki's hand and rising to his feet. "Fuckin' miracle."
Yuki just grinned.
In the kitchen, he tugged Kyo around with him rather than dropping his hand. Damn it, waiting for Tohru was going to be tougher than he thought.
"Where do you keep your… oh, wait, I remember." Yuki needed both hands to retrieve the teabox (one of many) from its upper cabinet. "And then…"
Honestly, he moved around their kitchen like he lived there (had he really been over that often?). Kyo stood and watched, hands behind his back, fighting a hiccup-y feeling in his chest.
"Please, sit," Yuki said. "I promise I've got this."
So Kyo sat on the cushion at the living area table, just outside of the kitchen. It was a funny feeling that he could probably turn his back and Yuki would still be fine, but he faced the kitchen anyway, not wanting to look away from him.
Watching Yuki gave room for other thoughts to crowd Kyo's brain. For instance: no, he wasn't theirs, yet or ever; even if he wanted to be with him and Tohru, nobody belonged to anybody. And really, she hadn't even asked yet. Maybe this secrecy wasn't for the best in the first place… But no again. It was Tohru's idea, her plan, and he trusted her to know what she was doing.
When it came down to it, she knew both of them better than anyone.
Kyo knew him pretty well too, though, and he wouldn't even think about teasing him if not for the... vibes he'd been giving off, today and in the past. For all the clichés about animal instincts, it still held true for the two of them. And Kyo's instinct was giving him a kind of hope he'd be afraid of if it weren't for Tohru.
What he meant by theirs wasn't ownership, of course not. More like… all for each other, in a way that no one else knew or understood but them. Yep, he was a hopeless romantic. And he'd kill anyone who found out, besides Tohru.
And besides Yuki. He wouldn't mind Yuki knowing, eventually. Because— because Kyo really…
He sighed and laid his head on his arms.
###
Making tea was a form of meditation for Yuki. Teen Yuki, or even the Yuki of two years ago, wouldn't have thought such a thing was possible. But he always liked drinking it, and gardening, and one time he brought home a stack of library books devoted to cultivating, planting and brewing so-called tea plants. He'd become determined, all of a sudden, to be at least moderately less of a menace in the kitchen, and making tea seemed a good place to start. Every so often Kyo or Machi or Tohru would help (mostly by ensuring nothing caught on fire), but he had insisted on doing as much as he could on his own.
He had quite the repertoire now. Knowledge about brewing bagged tea and pre-made loose leaf mixes, yes, but he'd also gained the courage and ideas to create fresh mixes of his own (taste-tested first, of course). If he had planned this visit to Kyo and Tohru's apartment, he would've brought some mixes with him. They had only tea bags, though a nice variety. He selected the chamomile after brief consideration.
"Oh," he said under his breath, a verbal lightbulb. He'd bring some next time as thanks for Kyo's mochi. She might like that ginger-mint mix. Kyo… maybe blackberry? Or maybe…
The kettle whistled, shaking him out of reverie. He moved on autopilot; three cups, on to the tray, lift. "It's ready," he announced as he turned, "but maybe Tohru is still…"
He trailed off; Kyo had essentially face-planted on the table. Blinking, he traversed the distance, set the tray down, and was lifting a cup when Kyo lifted his head. "You look like you could use yours now." He held it out. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah, no, it's—" was he blushing? "—just the adrenaline draining, I guess. Didn't know what happened to her at first and all." He took it, took a sip, mumbled, "Thanks. Thought you were just making it for her."
Yuki sat with his own cup, though he wanted to check on Tohru; he'd let Kyo lead on that. "I made a full pot, there's three of us, why not." After a brief drink, the warmth almost burning, he asked, "Do you like blackberries?"
A blank stare. "I guess so. Why?"
"My latest tea is blackberry. I could bring you the mix if you'd like." Feeling vaguely nervous, he jiggled one leg under the table.
Kyo brightened (Yuki stopped fidgeting). "Oh, nice. Sure. Tohru likes those fruit and flower teas, too." One long drink, a sigh, and then he continued, "I should probably make more mint tea for this part of her cycle. Help her stomach. Or, like, ginger or something."
Belatedly realizing he'd basically been staring at Kyo the entire time, Yuki said (with only a little stumble), "Ah, w-well, I'm actually working on a ginger and mint tea, I don't know if it'll combine well but I—"
"No kidding? We'll try some." With a flash of a smile, Kyo added, "Hey, maybe you can give us some tips on brewing our own stuff. But, I mean, not like we have much room for a garden here…"
Completely unprompted?! He tried to keep his rising happiness inside. "You don't need much room. Even just a windowsill is a fine starting place." Half of him dearly wanted to expand on plant types, the amount of sunlight, and everything else; the other half was deeply embarrassed and also aware of the third untouched cup of tea, so he stopped himself.
"Tohru's ahead of me, then," Kyo was saying, "with her window herb gardens and stuff—"
Does she grow rosemary? That's great with lemon. But lavender tea!!!
"—let's bring her tea before it cools too much."
"R-Right." He stood, reaching for the cup at the same time Kyo did, brushing fingers. He couldn't stop a nervous chuckle, cursing his again-warm cheeks when he said, "After you."
But Kyo was also, most definitely, blushing this time. "Sorry."
Yuki let him lead the way, hovering in the bedroom doorway while Kyo entered.
He had to hide a smile that would have been much too wide when Kyo told him to come in too.
###
Eyes closed, Tohru could feel herself rising out of sleep. Kyo and Yuki's voices were a distant, comforting noise; she lay still and let the sound roll over her while awareness seeped in.
The bed was warm and soft. Her cramps were gone. Her head… felt a little… too big? Bruised? Not a headache, yet, but something to move carefully with. She was thirsty. She wondered what the boys were talking about. An unstoppable yawn welled up and with it, she opened her eyes.
She felt her smile moments before actually recognizing what she saw: Kyo at the foot of the bed, trying to move quietly to her side. A steaming cup of tea in his hand. And behind him, in the doorway…
"You're up," Kyo said. "Unless I woke you." Then he looked over his shoulder, said, "Come on in," and Yuki entered.
Her body didn't mind sitting up despite the odd fizziness settling into her veins, but shaking her head still felt like a bad idea, so she just said, "You didn't." She took the cup he held out to her and inhaled deeply— chamomile— before taking a careful sip; almost instantly her general unwellness faded somewhat. "Thank you."
"Sure. I just brought it to you, though. This guy—" he jabbed his thumb at Yuki, now standing beside him, "made it."
Yuki nodded, cheeks slightly pink.
"Thank you too, Yuki-kun."
"How are you feeling?" he asked.
"Oh, much better! Thank you for—" Memory flashed over her then, everything that had happened from when she stopped on Yuki's doorstep; she cut herself off with another sip. "...I'm so sorry I worried you."
"No, please," he said, stepping forward, "I'm sorry you were in such pain. And I'm glad you're feeling better."
He was close enough for her to reach for his hand. She didn't. "This will help," she said into the teacup. "It's been a while since I had chamomile."
"I forgot it was in there, to be honest." Kyo, laughing drily, scratched the back of his neck.
She smiled at him. "I bought too many boxes last week. I suppose that was some kind of premonition," she said to Yuki. Then she finished her tea and set it aside, stretching her arms above her head.
Kyo made a noise. "You sure you're ready to get out of bed?"
A giggle left her; her reaction to how did he know-of course he knows. "I think I'd like some air." She slid carefully out from the covers and straightened her dress, a brief blush passing over her as she did.
She walked past the boys in bare feet–that's right, Kyo had removed her shoes–and left the room, making her way to the small balcony off the living area. In her peripheral vision, Yuki went toward the kitchen with her teacup.
Outside, the sky was darker now, a light breeze scented with the promise of rain soothing her too-warm skin. It was easier to breathe out here, and the headache threatening at the back of her skull receded with each inhale. Had it been like this when she got back home? She could only remember Yuki picking her up when the pain made it impossible for her to stand, let alone walk. She had leaned into his chest and shut her eyes, listening to his heartbeat, part of her worried over his lungs with the spring pollen. But his breathing stayed strong the whole way back, and his grip on her had never wavered. His body heat had calmed her chills.
He had kissed her. She remembered that, too.
"Hey, you."
Kyo was so quiet. How long had he been out here? She half-turned, a smile getting halfway out. "Hi."
Eyes warm, he put his hands on her shoulders. He gazed out at the sky as he spoke. "You wanna talk to him alone? He told me what happened when you visited him. I… didn't tell him anything back."
"I thought he might." Looking up at him, she leaned back against him, laying her hands over his. "That's a good plan, I think. He might be very confused." And she laughed quietly, even though the situation wasn't (that) funny.
"Okay. You can come find me when you're done."
She nodded; he stepped away. "Wait, Kyo-kun."
At the threshold, he turned back to her, one eyebrow raised.
"Kiss," she said, reaching for him.
Smiling, Kyo caught her up and leaned to meet her lips.
She kissed him hard, delighting in the gently surprised noise he made, but pulled away regretfully when his tongue flickered along her lips. I love you. "I love you so much."
"Love you too, baby."
In the few minutes she was alone again on the balcony, Tohru thought about what to say and how to say it. She hadn't planned every word but she'd had a plan, and the cramps and everything else had disrupted it.
She was still thinking when Yuki walked onto the balcony next to her and said, "Kyo told me you want to speak with me."
She glanced at him, her hands coming to rest on the balcony railing. "Yes."
Time to do, not just think. Was he nervous? Anticipatory? Hopeful? She was. All three and more.
"Earlier today," she began, "I meant it when I said it was fine, when you kissed me. It was fine because of what I came by to talk to you about before… I got my period." This last part was mumbled; she didn't know yet Yuki's comfort level with talking out in the open about menstruation, and for all her (hard-won) ease with the topic, it still felt strange to say aloud to someone who wasn't Kyo, or Machi, or Saki or Arisa.
She kept going. "There isn't an easy way to say this, so… So I'll just say it. Yuki." A lump rose in her throat, a sharp ache, just from saying his name. Crying wouldn't do. She got hold of her emotions and tried again. "I care for you so, so very much. Kyo does too. We have for a long time now, and I know you care for us." The weight of what she'd waited to say for so long settled over her, a tingle at the base of her spine; she breathed in and out, wet her dry lips, tried to make herself look at Yuki and found she couldn't move. "And so, for the past couple of weeks we've been talking about… us. About you, and me, and him, a-a-and— Well, at first I felt guilty, and greedy, and I didn't know what to do so I hid it." She smiled briefly. "Kyo knows me well enough that I can't hide how I'm feeling from him for long, though. I thought he might be upset. But he'd been going through the same confusion I had, and then we talked, and talking made us realize that both of us had… we have… feelings for you."
Her hand had moved closer to Yuki's on the railing, she noticed suddenly; they were pressed close now, her pinky grazing his thumb. She wondered if he felt hers shaking. "Oh, Yuki, we love you." The words propelled her; she took a breath, turning her gaze from their hands to his face, warmth high in her chest. "I love you, Yuki. I want to be with both of you, I want you to be with both of us, because in every future I can imagine all three of us are there, always. No matter the feelings among us."
He blinked a few times, mouth parted. His hand didn't move from hers.
"S-So." She moved first. She had to look away, gripping the railing more tightly; her knees felt weak all of a sudden. "Th-That's what I wanted to tell you when I– when I came to s-see you today."
In the silence, she tried and failed to count her heartbeats. She'd done it, she'd done it, she'd done it, felt stripped raw and unbearably alive but what if she was wrong—
"Well. It sounded easy enough from here."
How she felt about Yuki's eyes was the opposite of how Kyo's eyes made her feel. Sometimes it was unnerving how much she could read in them. He had been closed off to her for so long, able to hide his true feelings far behind his irises, in princely smiles. It was better that he no longer did it, of course it was, she was proud that he'd found the courage; there were times, though, that the depth of feeling in them could overwhelm her.
Maybe after this moment, she wouldn't be overwhelmed anymore.
His steady voice, so ambiguous, made her look into his eyes, and he didn't look away. Happiness, relief, love; Yuki's eyes reflected all she felt for him and about him. And they were like magnets: she stumble-stepped toward him, hands coming to rest against his chest, even though he hadn't said anything, even though she should wait—
"I really… I never imagined I would hear something like that. Is this a dream?"
She couldn't help herself; her hands rose to touch his face, thumbs swiping gently at his tears. "I hope not," she said, her own eyes stinging, "because if you're dreaming then so am I."
He smiled like a summer sunrise, then leaned down until his forehead touched hers. "I love you," he whispered. "And I love Kyo. More than I ever thought I could. I want to be with you both."
"Oh…!" Tears slipped from her closed eyelids. "Oh, good. I'm— I'm so—" She was laughing and crying, and she put her hands behind his neck, and she pulled his mouth down to hers.
From somewhere very far away, she heard rainfall begin. She felt a light spray, carried by a gust of wind. All of it was eclipsed by Yuki's lips moving against hers, by his hair between her fingers, by his hands at her back pulling her into him.
Then she was laughing again, the kiss broken as he swung her into his arms, into a princess carry, just like before. "It's a thunderstorm," he said, laughing too, thunder rumbling above them just then. "Let's go in."
With the overhang keeping them dry— no, even in the pouring rain— Tohru could have kissed him forever. But she wanted to see Kyo equally badly. And so she looped her arms around his neck, and he carried her back inside, right to Kyo sitting on the couch, where he sat down too.
Dizzy with feeling, she let herself fall back into Kyo's lap, her legs stretching across Yuki. "Kyo-kun, Kyo-kun," she sang, smiling so wide it almost hurt. "I told him."
An impossibly soft smile rested on his face. "You told him, huh?"
"I told him!"
"She did." Yuki was smiling too.
"And!" It was a squeak; her feet wiggled with giddiness. "And I kissed him, I hope you don't mind, and, and so…"
"Oh, I don't blame you." He ran a hand through her hair, smiling wider. "Would've done the same thing if I were you. Well." He turned, eyes meeting Yuki's. His hand left her hair to touch his cheek. "Guess it's my turn."
Yuki closed his eyes, leaning in.
She watched them. Watched Kyo take hold of Yuki's face with both hands, fingers pressing into his jawline, like he never wanted to let him go. Watched Yuki lean into Kyo, fitting so perfectly, one of his hands clutching Kyo's shirt; the other was slack and shaking over her ankles. So she took his hand with both of hers and held it on her belly, not because she was in pain (blissfully, she wasn't at all) but because she needed something to hold her down lest she float away from pure joy.
It wasn't long before they pulled back, their foreheads touching like hers and Yuki's had been minutes before. Kyo's hand covered hers holding Yuki's (and Yuki gripped hers so very tightly), and he said, "Sorry we kept you waiting."
Yuki laughed, or maybe it was a sob, and he put his arm around Kyo's shoulders, pulling in. "Please treat me kindly."
Tohru would have laughed if she weren't already stunningly full of emotion.
As it was, Kyo did for her, snickering and hugging him back. "I'll do my best," he said solemnly.
That broke her, had her laughing until her stomach hurt in a good way, until she needed a tissue to wipe away (more) happy tears. After that she returned to the couch and wedged between them, their hands finding hers as they'd done for years. Except…
Except now they were all walking together on a new path, with so much to see and with so much time to explore, even as her mind thrummed with impatience to start right that instant. She settled that impatience minutely by kissing Yuki's cheek and then Kyo's. And when they returned her kisses in perfect sync– why, she would have melted into the couch if they weren't all pressed together, unmoving.
She wondered if her eyes looked as bright to them as theirs did to her.
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autumnlivesagain · 2 years
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the trigger warnings in my bio apply:
on january 10th, 2022 around 5 am i was sexually assaulted by jose olalde. i was drunk and asleep. when i awoke, i was confused and didn’t understand what was happening to me. and then i did and it hit me like a fucking train. i’ll never be able to recover from the feeling of dread that hit me when i realized that someone i trusted was trying to have sex with me while i was unconscious. nothing can prepare you for it. there’s no real handbook about how to get away, or how to stop him. when the shock wore off, i panicked and tore his disgusting hands off of me and pulled my clothes back on and ran to the bathroom and locked myself inside. i was in the bathroom for about 5 hours, unable to sleep or do anything besides stare at the wall and convince myself that it didn’t really happen. that it was just a bad dream, that he wouldn’t do that. he wouldn’t risk his friend group like that, and on our friends’ couch no less, literally surrounded by our other friends who were also asleep in that living room. but he did, he even slid my phone under the door with a message on it apologizing for “making me uncomfortable.” if only. he didn’t just make me uncomfortable, he fucking traumatized me. for life. no take-backs, no jinxes, can’t knock this one off of wood. i’m fucked. i waited until late morning, when someone i trusted was able to get me out of there and into my car without having to see him.
the day after, i told all of our mutual friends about what happened and most of them believed me. a select few just believed me to my face and decided that since he didn’t molest them, he was still cool. in the following days (well, month really) i did everything in my power to not think about it and pretend i was strong. i drank and drank until it wasn’t in the front my mind, i barely ate but less than usual, and gave other men my body to try to get over it. i wanted their hands on me so maybe i wouldn’t feel his all the time. as you can probably imagine, it didn’t work. a week after what he did to me, i ended up at the same place where it happened and finally broke down and had a panic attack. which just led to me getting really drunk again.
in the first month of 2022 i was so traumatized that i couldn’t do anything but party until he wasn’t on my mind. i took a mental health sabbatical from my job, then lost it bc i was so busy going out that i didn’t go back. because i lost my job, and spent all of my money on drinking, as well as driving to san marcos to drink there, i was late on my car and insurance payments and my car was repossessed. and i couldn’t get it back. so now my credit is absolutely fucked, and it is my greatest shame. at this point, i didn’t want to be around anymore. i hit rock bottom. and i couldn’t even blame him. i blamed myself. i minimized what he did and told myself it was my fault that i couldn’t just move on and take care of myself. i catch myself still doing it sometimes.
this isn’t just something that goes away after a couple months. i’ve had more panic attacks since then, i’ve struggled with intimacy with my boyfriend (who i couldn’t even let cuddle me for the first couple of months of our relationship), i’ve frozen when i thought i’d seen him on the street, and i’ve had other micro freak outs for much less. after i burned out of drinking everyday i just became this homebody (that i still kind of am but i’m trying to get better), too anxious to leave my house. since not drinking every night, i started having night terrors again. and i still do. and sometimes they’re about him or a variation of the sexual trauma he put me through. i don’t trust any man besides my close friends and my boyfriend anymore. and i have trust issues in my friendships, due to the “friends” i lost. i can’t even go to san marcos. i know he goes out there because his friends live there, they allow him to feel safe showing his face and even victimize him because he’s a piece of shit and lost some good friends while being so.
i wrote this because i’m tired of his ability to be comfortable while i’ve been distraught. i’m tired of him being able to live his life while i am still stuck trying to pick up the pieces. i’m tired of taking it day by day and not only having to recover from this but the alcohol abuse that came from it as well as the eating disorder i’ve had for 2 years. i’m so fucking tired of men getting away with this shit. so, austin and san marcos residents beware of jose olalde.
this has easily been the worst period of my life and i’m just now able to take baby steps to get my life back on track. i’m not going to let what he did to me bring me down anymore. i’m going to write more and love more and make plans and live without this shadow of shame and grief following my every step. i’m not going to mourn who i was, i’m going to cherish who i am and hope for who i can be.
that being said, i’m not going to forgive you jose. ever. what you did to me was unforgivable. i wish nothing but the worst onto you. you fucking ruined my life. i hope yours is ruined too.
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smimon · 4 years
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A colleague got married today and now I can't stop thinking about this pair of sweethearts. It's the lady's first design, I'm not sure about it at all, I'm not sure if she's from Fire, I'm not even sure about her name but boy, did I need to see them together ;_;
I guess I'll keep the bob cut, you know, it's like "I want nothing to do with you. Look at my hairdo, I'm all business"
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