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thekillingjoke-haha · 3 years

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Back To Black

Summary: Young love is so innocent and juvile now seemingly worlds apart that once childish flame seems to be more

@craftygamerscrafts

Black Noir was never always a faceless part of the seven he had a childhood which contrast to popular belief was actually nice he had a house hold that raised him to properly manage his emotions so his powers stayed within his control,but the part of him that truly made him the way he is...Y/n L/n.

His best friend and crush since the days in the playground sandbox. James was at the time unaware why he felt such joy being in her presence though once they parted ways after high school he understood those feelings weren't so friendly as first appearance. Love was confusing to him he never had much affection growing up unless it was from her so he always assumed as they got older those lingering stares,the hugs that always squeezed so tight,and those soft lips pressed against his forehead or cheek we kind gestures of friendship. They were polar opposites he was what people described as the bad boy while she was a social butterfly. If only he didn't stay with his safe bet and realized before she left to college so far away without a single goodbye.

James sat two rows behind Y/n she was smiling brightly clapping respectfully each time someone walked across. The week before they celebrated him being accepted to be a junior seven member till he reached age his dream was coming true. "For our honor student valedictorian Y/n L/n!" James was not shy to admit,but he did make the loudest noise smiling broadly when her eyes locked onto him. "We have a special honor our to give to you Ms.L/n a letter directly from Harvard one of your chosen colleges. You've been accepted for a full ride." They were both in shock as the uproar of people yelling and cheering. Harvard was so far away from Vought headquarters. That's when both of their hearts seemed to creak his turning cold at the fact she'd be gone.

"You never told me you wanted to go to Harvard." James was changed out of his blue robe playing with the chain on his pants. "I never thought they'd accept me especially right after high school." She layed her head on his shoulder as they sat in the bed of her truck he would have been relaxed if this was any other night,but the stiffness in his muscles was the equivalent of a predator tense and ready to strike. "Where you going to ever tell me you applied or did you just plan to pack up and leave?" His words were like a backhand causing her to sit up looking at him appalled. "You would have been the first to tell if I got that letter." James scoffed his emotions were getting the better of him. "Yeah right so much for being my so called best friend." The hurt that filled her eyes was making him regret everything,but there was no time for that. "What so I'm not you best friend because I want to be something?! Because that's my only option! If you didn't notice I'm not a super I can't pretend that us running off to the superhero capital filled with the most crime is the safest bet for me." Y/n had tears pooling and James wanted to say he'd always protect her if she just came along with him. "If your so safe away from superheros,away from me, then do us both a favor end this here and leave."

Y/n sniffled wiping her eyes as she got out the bed of the truck she refused to speak anymore what said was said. James got out to and went walking down the street to his home. She got in the driver's seat and drove off into the night. That weekend James felt like shit and bought (favorite flowers) and some of her favorite sweets and came to her home. At the door her father stood tall and raised a brow confused. "Why are you here?" He didn't say it like he was upset which was surprising. "To see Y/n." It was F/n turn to be surprised. "She left on Friday. We packed everything and she told us you were busy,but she'd say bye when she drove by your place." The young adults heart shaddered his last words to her was telling to end their argument and leave. If we wasn't a coward and apologized sooner she might of stayed long enough for them to fix their friendship maybe so he could confess his harbored feelings. The time never came she went her way and ut was time for him to go his both of them broken hearted and yearning.

James or better known as Black Noir gazed at the party goers. He's always hated these parties everyone ignored his existence especially since he didn't speak up. Trying to grab a glass of champagne the tray was moved to quickly past him. Behind the mask he sighed about to walk to the bar towards were someone could at least acknowledge he wanted something to drink. A gental hand placed itself on his shoulder he turned around not yet looking at the owner of said and,but rather the glass of sparkling gold liquid he accepted it in his hand softly brushing the slim fingers with his gloved hands. "Looked like you needed a drink,Jamie." That nickname was so forgin to him no one called him James in years,but only one person called him Jamie. His cover face turned to look at her his breath froze on his throat choking him. No matter how much time past he still recognizes her.

Y/n looked at him a soft smile on her painted lips. Stunning was the first word that came to mind she looked older,but that seemed to only add to her beauty a f/c dress hugged her curves that use to be hidden under his sweaters and t-shirts. James looked down to see if she wore heels given that she was the same height as him seeing the five inch heel she didn't do much growing since their departure. Her hair was styled in a confortable yet elegant way. "Can't a old friend get a hello?" Her voice was angelic the most gracful noise that ever could be heard. James took her hand within his own guiding her through the crowd to get to the balcony. After escaping the room full of people he sighed in relief. "Y-y/n when? Why? How?" He didn't know which question to ask first. "I've been living in the city for a year. I got my dream job every year or so I go to different devious helping people. Volt thought it'd be perfect having me here show off that even though they cause more problems then solve having public opinion is still needed." She always knew what he wanted to say even if he didn't have to utter a word. His large hands cupped her cheeks his thumb rubbing over her cheekbone. "I'm sorry." Those two words held such depthed all the apologizes he never got to say to the one person he never stopped loving. "I know...I forgived you along time ago Jamie. I just wished I had the will to say goodbye with words."

James ungloved his hand to feel her wiping away the tears that slipped past her eyes. Leaning forward his forehead touching hers as he gently blew out the breath he was holding. Y/n puffed out a watery laugh as she kissed his masked face if they weren't in public he would have ripped of his mask to feel those lips that he missed so much. Being apart was like dying a hundred time for both of them,but she came back to him. She went back to black.

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A/n: This was a idea I had long ago and someone requesting some black noir was just the perfect time.

To the anonymous that wanted Natasha x reader is coming next just gotta find more inspiration.

#the boys #black noir #black noir x reader #james(black noir) x reader #childhood love #friends to lovers #friends to strangers #back to black #x fem!reader #angst with a happy ending #fluff #drift apart #argument

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blue-bird-kny · 3 years

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How You Spend Days Off

I stuck to only the three main peeps, but I’m looking forward to writing for more JJK characters. It was actually really nice to write for them, so I hope you enjoy~Amanda

P.S: Be safe out after dark!

Warning: N/A

( 2.1K+ words)

↳{shenanigans you and your S/O get up to on days off}

Yuji:

Days off with Yuji are unpredictable and always either involve something thrilling and very energy consuming or it can be some of the simplest things a person can do- no in between.

Yuji usually is the one who makes plans during your spare time (though he always gets your opinion, of course), he just really values time with you and wants to experience so much together while he can

It was common knowledge that this coming Friday, all the students would have the time off to rest as a reward for all their hard work with the recent influx of curse activity. Yuji wasted no time in planning the perfect day together, from the moment you woke up next to him to when you both fell asleep, he had something ready.

“Ah that was delicious Yuji, thank you” you cheered, arms stretched high above your head in an attempt to work away the sleepiness the food had made you feel. “No problem! Only the best for you, princess” Yuji’s smile reached past his shining eyes, thrilled you enjoyed the assortment of plates and bowls filled with your breakfast favorites he’d surprised you with. “Well then, my prince, to what honor do I owe your company today?” you asked leaning against your balled fist and bent elbow on the table, amusement and adoration laced on all your features. “For one day only, yours truly scored us tickets to…! Drum roll please!” Yuji posed dramatically, eyes cast down while crouched and pointing in a funny manner.

You proceeded to bang your fist against the table, laughing lightly, “We’re going to spend all day at Monster Con!” he pulled out two floppy pieces of paper from his back pocket as you gasped, “Oh I’m not finished yet, princess, we’ll also be wearing matching costumes I hand selected” You stood quickly, clapping at his theatrical performance as he bowed, repeating, “Thank you, thank you”. You made your way to infront of the boy, your arms wrapping around his broad shoulders while he enveloped your waist tightly, pressing you against him. “Not going dressed as your pesky alter ego, huh?” you joked staring up at the taller kid, earning you a slight pout, “No, he’s not invited” he grumbled. “Sorry, that joke was in poor taste” you apologized, shifting to run your thumb along his juted bottom lip to smooth out the lines.

“No worries, I know ya didn’t mean anything by it” your hand stayed cupping his cheek, both star-filled eyes trained on each other as you both wore the cheesiest grins. Just as you stood on your tip-toes to close the space between each other, a warm gust of breath blew against the palm holding Yuji still, “I was wondering why you hadn’t spoiled the moment” you sighed, lowering yourself to lean your forehead against Yuji’s chest instead. A small mouth carved into its host cheek frowned, now free to speak without your hand suffocating it, “I can handle the women’s teasing, however what have I done in my many lifetimes to have to suffer through this painful love-sick puppies act” Sukuna complained. “Many things actually” you responded, muffled by Yuji’s shirt that smelled of a citrusy-warm blend you couldn’t get enough of. “Why do you always kill the mood?” Yuji groaned up towards the ceiling, earning himself a scoff from the demon king. “Oh? You mean like that I wouldn’t let y-” “SHUT UP!” Yuji slammed his hand against his own face to silence the man, his cheeks inflamed.

Now clad in matching costumes, you as frankenstein's wife and Yuji as Frankenstein, from the hair to the clothes to the make-up, you both spent the day without any further hiccups; how Yuji kept Sukuna at bay, you didn’t know, but I didn’t really matter. The stares from passengers on the train to the convention center was obvious to everyone but you two, lost in your own little love-sick world of old-fashion horror movies, delicious food, and pure, unfiltered content.

Megumi:

Megumi is a simple guy who likes simple things; he’s overworked and more exhausted than he even realizes, however he doesn’t acknowledge that...ever. In fact, you could run a mile ‘too quickly’ by his standards and he will have you take a break and drink his bottle of water (though you had your own and he knew that).

On your rare days off together, Megumi would silently stick to you like glue; he wants to do something for you in the creative way Yuji does and definitely wants to spend the time with you, but he can never come up with a complete idea of how to ‘wow’ you.

Except you didn’t need to be wowed, in fact you really were burnt out, so when the day came when you had nothing to do but be together, you planned a whole day of nothing with a side of Netflix and take-out.

You knocked on the door to Megumi’s dorm that was just a few paces away from your own. It was almost noon and you still wore your pj’s from last night, cookie monster shorts and an old shirt of Megumi’s you took last week, having made no attempt to fix your hair. “Umi~!” you whined, banging on the door a little harder, the plastic bag from the convenience store rustling at your side. “Coming” Megumi opened the door in a similar state; pj’s still on and hair sticking in even weirder directions than normal.

“Mornin” you greeted with the faintest grin, “sorry to wake you” “ I was just getting up” he yawned while he tried to rub the sleep from his eyes. “Sure I can tell by the bed head” you teased, earning a playful eye roll from the boy. You waved the bag of goodies in front of his face, “Let me in, I’ll make it worth your while~” he chuckled, “I doubt it” despite his words he stood to the side, letting you past and closing the door behind you.

His dorm was dark and a little stuffy, clearly Megumi hadn’t had time to do the in depth cleaning the little neat-freak was so fond of. The continents of the bag clacked together and scattered around as you tossed it onto the small table in the corner, making your way over to his comfortable futon that smelled of his signature eucalyptus soaps. You flopped about for a moment, stretching, snuggling into the sheets still warm from Megumi, who was watching the small scene from the door, “C’mon Umi’ I wanna get through at least two episodes of SVU before we inevitably fall asleep wrapped in each others arms” you called dreamily with lidded eyes, already tired again as you buried beneath his sheets and pillows.

Megumi could feel his chest ache and stomach flutter at the image of the one who he cared for so much that it physically hurt laying there in his bed with soft, kind eyes just for him- it was almost too much. “Umi, I will eat all the sour snakes if you don’t come over here, your sheets are getting cold” Megumi was cut off by his own thoughts of admiration by your voice. He chuckled at the cute way your face cringed a bit at the sour-sweet taste of the candy before sliding into bed too, your head laying on his chest as he held you close. A small, genuine grin spread across his lips as the sound of Netflix starting rang from the TV, holding you even tighter, ‘this is perfect’

Nobara

Be ready to put on your best dressed because you and your girlfriend are hitting the town! Of course Nobara would find her way into the city whenever she could, foreign to the endless wonders the busy streets had to offer and luckily for her, you happened to be far more native with the many sights to see.

She’d let you sleep in, holding you tender as she traced her nails across your skin to form intricate patterns until you woke. You both would totally be the couple that wears matching outfits, the same colors and patterns tailored to your personal styles- of course this would also lead to thousands of pictures for Nobara’s instagram.

You two would laughed, eat delicious foods, and would spend way more than either of you cared to admit nor did you want to because the price of absurd, unfiltered laughter and the feel of just a good time, was one both of you could pay a thousand times (and a new pair of shoes too)

The sun hung lower in the sky than it did when you started this little adventure before noon, having been sold on the idea by Nobara that she “only needed a few things” this morning. Now, exhausted perched on a steel chair outside some cafe you’d never heard of with your sore feet elevated on the other empty one you waited for your girlfriend who was inside somewhere.

“Jeez even my fingers are cramped” you groaned flexing your numb digits; shopping was a grueling vice because no matter how much you’ve already bought, more cute sweaters, tops, and matching accessories called to you by name and the art of saying ‘no’ wasn’t exactly in Ms.Kugisaki’s vocabulary. “Here ya’ go babe” Nobara emerged from the shop with two cups, handing one to you before sipping gingerly from her own. You brought the plastic straw to your lips, sighing in relief as the contents quelled a thirst you didn’t even know had been building up. “I don’t think we did too much damage” your face fell and eyes bulged, flailing your arms out around at the brightly colored parcels that littered the table and surrounding floor, “Nobara there are at least fifteen bags here”

She laughed, her hand falling on top of your thigh, giving a gentle squeeze, “Still no that bad”. She scooched her chair closer to yours, her thumb rubbing nonsense circles into the denim of your jeans, “What next?” she asked leaning into her seat, her brown irises watching yours fondly, “Food? We haven’t eaten since a lot earlier and I could turn into a wolf any second and eat you” you teased, though food sounded better and better the more you thought about it. “Eat me? You promise, baby?” Nobara’s smirk earned herself a not-so-graceful, but light kick from you.

“An impromptu picnic sounds great” Nobara decided, tapping against you in finality. It became a game: You both had 30 minutes to run around the delicious food district to pick out each other's favorites, as many as you liked (which would be more food than two can eat), then you’d reconvene at the same cafe. Nobara offered to pick up a blanket at the convenience store because she ‘knew you so well she wouldn’t need the whole half hour.’ The game was on and time was ticking as you both rushed in opposite directions with several bags and a hunger to please the other.

You scurred around each vendor, selecting different meat dishes and veggies, cakes and watermelon, and even splurged on some fancy sushi from the place she'd wanted to try. Your arms quivered under the weight of the many shopping bags and take-out boxes, but you were determined to get back first. “Just around the corner- Are you kidding me?!” you yelled. In the exact steel seat she sat in earlier, was Nobara with an array of bags around her, boxes and the blanket stacked neatly on the table with dark sunglasses adorning her face and her legs crossed cockily as she spoke smoothly, “Beat ya”

Both of you grossly overestimated the amount of food you could eat in one sitting as practically unopened boxes lay stacked on top one another on the blankets while watermelon rinds and used plates were thrown into a garbage bag. The sun was low, almost at the horizon, painting the sky in pastel oranges and pinks with hints of purple and blue; the spring chill had blown a little heavier now that the sun was setting and it was getting harder to stop the shivers. Nobara laid against the trunk of a tree with you between her legs, holding you as her manicured fingers idly massaged your scalp quietly- you would have fallen asleep at the small gesture had you not been actively keeping your eyes open. “The boys will be grateful for the food, I’d hate wasting it” she yawned to which you only hummed.

“Hey” you turned your head up slightly, only enough to meet her gaze, “today was really fun” she smiled, slithering across your arm to grab your cheeks gently in her fingers, forcing your lips to pucker, “yeah it was.” Your wobbly smile made Nobara feel things, too many things at once, and a lump began to form in her throat, “I love you” you mumbled, Nobara’s breath caught for only a moment, whispering a thick “me too.”

Masterlist

#jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x y/n #megumi x reader #nobara x y/n #nobara x reader #yuji x y/n #yuji x reader #megumi x y/n #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fluff

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haikyuuhopes · 3 years

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Lose The Paperwork - Sugawara X Reader

Author’s Note: As a warning, some people might consider this workplace angst (?) with a fluffy ending. If I've miscategorized, please let me know. I may continue this idea of a coworker turned lover because our favorite animated teacher needs love.

"You know, if you glare at him any harder, the room will freeze," your friend and coworker pushed your shoulder harshly to stop you from glaring at Sugawara.

Huffing in frustration, Y/N tried to listen to her advice and focus on the last faculty meeting at hand, but that too perfect gray-haired goblin wouldn't leave your mind.

Mr. Refreshing was the utter bane of your professional existence.

"L/N, your third graders have had excellent scores on all tests. You should be very proud of yourself having done so well in your first year," my boss affirmed Y/N with a small smile as he sat at his desk with his hands clasped.

"Thank you, Principal Yamashita. It's an honor to be recognized," you replied, flustered with a bow. "I was won..." You were cut off by the principal's secretary opening the door with a small apology.

"Sugawara-sensei is ready to meet you, Principal Yamashita," she interjected, with a slight bow.

With a gigantic smile that you'd never before seen on his face in a year you'd worked for him, Principal Yamashita stood from the desk and quickly greeted a stunning young man with gray hair and bright, intelligent eyes who looked bashfully between Principal Yamashita and yourself. The young man's poise was entrancing as his features, including what appeared to be a beauty mark, made him glow like a cover model.

"I'm sorry to intrude on your conversation, but I was told you wished to see me," the stranger replied almost bashfully.

Principal Yamashita returned to his desk with a booming laugh and turned his gaze to this Sugawara and yourself.

"Right, L/N, this is Sugawara Koushi, our new hire for the school year. I had him come as he'll be a new third-grade teacher."

"Welcome, Sugawara," I smiled brightly, happier by the moment to have a dashing teammate who returned my smile with more brightness. "We're lucky to have you on the team."

Sugawara smiled and was about to speak before being cut off by Principal Yamashita.

"Sugawara will be replacing you on the third-grade team. You'll be moving to fourth grade. You did well. Please share your materials with him as this is his first year, and we want to ensure his success," my principal interjected casually as if he didn't shatter your heart into a million tiny pieces.

You had spent countless nights planning units precisely for every subject. Contrary to popular belief, you were not a naturally gifted student that many people expected teachers to be. Instead, you tirelessly spent hours modifying the schools' curriculum to meet the needs of class 1. You were ecstatic to be teaching students, like you, who had fallen behind early on in their educational paths in hopes to help them catch up. In fact, helping kids who struggled like you did was the whole reason you became an educator in the first place.

You would have to start at square one...

Forcing a smile that was more of a grimace, you nodded at the man but couldn't look at him for fear that you may burst into tears. The term was starting again in less than three weeks, and you would have to start all over again. It wasn't his fault though...

"Excellent - I will send him to you once we're finished. You will be teaching class 5, an honor, so be sure to check in with your team leader," Principal Yamashita stated, turning his attention back to Sugawara; his smile brightened, "You can leave us now, L/N, I need to catch up with my former student. It's been a long time since I taught you at Nagamushi."

You felt your blood run cold at the blatant favoritism but managed a small bow before stiffly leaving the office in a fury, refusing to take a look at the man who took your position.

Another sharp nudge, but this time to your gut, broke your reverie as you hadn't realized you had stared at the man in question, who in turn beamed at you with a large smile and timid wave.

With a firm nod to acknowledge him not wanting to be rude or friendly, you turned back to the principal, who concluded his end of the year meeting with a firm nod and dismissed you all for a short vacation.

You should have been relieved, but instead, not just the year but the decision you were making weighed heavily on your heart. On your desk was a transfer form to teach at another elementary school within the Miyagi prefecture.

You were considering leaving for a new job.

You were doing your best, and kids and their caregivers were kindly responding to the lessons and community you'd built in your classroom, which should have filled you with pride.

You let out a deep sigh.

"That's an awfully deep sigh, L/N. Is there anything I can do to help you," a soft but distinctly masculine voice came over your shoulder, freezing you in your seat. Of course, it'd be him. You turned at your desk to see the beautiful man wrapped in a scarf smiling down at you gently, eyes furrowed with concern.

You breathed out an icy, "No, thank you, Sugawara." You moved to put the form in your bag to pack up and consider it at home, but you were stopped by a gentle and warm hand on your shoulder.

Looking up at Sugawara, he looked visibly distraught, "You can't leave, L/N."

Staring at his hand until he removed it, you sighed again before continuing to pack your belongings and moving to stand in front of him.

"I didn't mean to see over your shoulder, L/N, but you can't transfer to another school," Sugawara continued, raising his voice a little with an unexpected passion that would have surprised your coworkers if they hadn't ran out the door as soon as they could.

'Why should he care?' Y/N internally mused, 'we've had less than three conversations all year - I'd personally seen to it.'

Schooling your features and trying to remain neutral, you nodded curtly, "Thank you for your opinion, Sugawara. I hadn't realized you'd care one way or the other."

Sugawara flushed as you moved to walk away from him but quickly followed you to the door of the teachers' offices before going around you and holding his hand on the doorknob.

Preparing to ask him to move in as polite a way as you could muster, though your patience was more fragile than ice in Spring, your train of thought was cut off by his surprising words.

"Just a moment, L/N," he paused, staring at you intently with a flush on his face. "I've been trying to get to know you all year, so of course I'd care. Please have some tea with me. I want to know your reasons for leaving, please."

You may have looked like a fish gaping at Sugawara, who'd removed his hand from the door and stared down at you earnestly awaiting a response.

"You what?" you questioned, losing the cool and professional attitude you'd taken to speaking to him in all year, making him grin slightly.

"Please have tea with me," he replied warmly, a slight flush on his cheeks.

For some odd reason, you blinked twice before nodding in agreement and earning a radiant smile that nearly melted the frosty misgivings you'd had for him.

Perhaps the frost wasn't completely melted, as you and Sugawara were currently in the tea shop's most awkward stare down, daring the other to speak first now that you both held cups in your respected hands.

With your mind reeling at why the man who you'd pointedly never spoken to was taking the time to sit down with you, someone he's barely acquainted with, you were too confused to remain aloof.

Perhaps sensing the atmosphere had still changed and wanting to seize the moment while it'd last, Sugawara broke through your thoughts, "L/N, you're an incredible teacher and person. I am in awe of the dedication you put into teaching your students. The plans you shared with me have helped me reach so many more students than I thought possible." He paused before licking his lips and continuing, "It's almost as if you've never let me close enough until now to thank you, but I truly am indebted to you. I feel the successes of my students would not have been possible without you and the blueprint you set out."

Shocked, you didn't know what to say, but he continued, "When I toured our school with Principal Yamashita, your classroom was the one that made me want to work here. I'd never seen someone so captivating," he paused, flushing slightly, "to children - of course - to children. Especially in a remedial class. Kids hung on your every word. I was captivated and told Principal Yamashita on the spot that I needed to teach here. I thought I'd be partnering with you, especially after you smiled so brightly at me in his office. I had no idea you'd be moving to another grade."

Finally moving his gaze to direct it towards the steaming tea in his cup, his voice lowered, "I think Principal Yamashita thought I was charmed by third grade instead of you." Pausing to take a sip of tea, it was as if he stared into your soul directly, "You're an amazing teacher and colleague. I'd be sad to see the reason I came to this school leave."

A wave of deep shame rocked through you; Sugawara was not the entitled person who stole your job but rather was someone doing their best for the kids you cared about the most. His kind and flustering words were almost too much to bear, making you bow slightly with the weight of guilt before apologizing for your petulant jealousy and underserved resentment of the sweet man before you. As if talking to a counselor, your confession was quickly heard and graciously forgiven.

With the tea gone and the shadows growing longer from the change in hour, a silence fell over you both again, but this time, and the first time since your initial meeting, you both were entirely comfortable in each other's company.

"I don't know what to say, Sugawara," you mumbled, almost in tears at the gentle smile and forgiveness directed towards you.

"Say you'll lose your transfer paperwork," Sugawara suddenly grinned cheekily before leaning in closer, "and say you'll let me treat you again this weekend, but to dinner next time."

Who were you to decline?

#sugawara x y/n #sugawara x reader #sugawara koushi x reader #sugawara fanfiction #haikyu x reader #haikyuu x reader #sfw #my fics

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little-bit-of-cinnamon · 4 years

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The Offical (mental) List of Jack Kelly Smiles - Javid AU

Throughout the course of their relationship, Davey has found that he loves a lot about Jack. But what he loves the most is his smile, each different smile representing something unique he loves about Jack.

3.0k words

Javid high school AU

Jack Kelly’s smiles are not rare. He’s loud, boisterous, but in a good way. He can always be found surrounded by friends who are always laughing with- or at- each other. He’s charming, tossing smiles to anyone who looks his way, paired with a quick wink or witty remark. Everyone loves Jack and he loves being loved. It works.

He was smiling when David met him. It was David’s first day at his new high school and he wasn’t exactly having the easiest time making friends. David was more quiet, reserved. He introduced himself to his classes and took a seat, took notes, and watched the clock. This strategy worked until lunchtime. It was harder to disappear in the cafeteria. He would have to choose where to sit, rather than being given the only open seat in a classroom. He would have to wait in line for his food and try not to get lost in the swarm of his new classmates. So, he stood at the double doors of the cafeteria, waiting to gain enough confidence to enter. With a deep breath, he set his eyes forward and began to walk inside. Immediately ahead of him was a large and loud group of students filling an entire table. Everyone was thrown over each other and laughing and chatting, having fun. At the center of the table sat this boy, presumably their pseudo-leader, literally sat on the table with his feet on the cafeteria stool next to a backpack haphazardly tossed on the ground. His head was thrown back in laughter and when he looked forward again, the remains of his laugh made obvious by the smile on his cheeks, he made eye contact with David.

Shit. The last thing David needed was to be noticed by an entire seemingly popular friend group. He wanted to wait and find his place at this school before he tried to throw himself into friendships that wouldn’t last. But boy-on-the-table hopped up and off the stool and started walking toward David, hastily waving an acknowledging hand to his friends. Shit, shit, shit.

“Have I seen you here before?” He said as he finally met David at the doorway.

“Uh, no, I’m new. I’m David.” David replied, nervous.

“Nice to meet you, Davey, name’s Jack. You looking for somewhere to sit?” Jack turned so he was walking next to David, leading him to his table.

“You don’t have to-”

“Don’t sweat it, we always have an open seat.”

They did not, in fact, have an open seat. That was probably why Jack was on the table in the first place. Jack and David stood awkwardly as they realized there was no stool for Jack to lead him to.

“Fellas, this is Davey. He’s new and therefore we are to adopt him as one of our own. David, this is everyone, I guess.” Jack gestured at his friends, who were all kindly waving and offering a chorus of “Hi, Davey’s”

Jack took his seat back on the table and wordlessly a blonde boy who David recognized from his first period AP Chem class followed him, leaving an empty stool.

“Your throne, sire,” he said with a flourish. “I’m Race. I sit behind you in chem, right? Sorry I didn’t introduce myself, I’m never awake enough at 8 am for socialization, let alone ionic bonds.” So, maybe David wasn’t looking to be adopted by an entire friend group but it didn’t seem too bad. They all were nice enough and at least now David had somewhere to go until he found a more solid group of friends. And, of course, who can say no to Jack Kelly’s smile?

As it turns out, Jack and his friends are the solid friend group David was looking for. Race, Specs, and Finch were around to help him survive his AP classes with minimal damage to his mental health. Elmer, Romeo, and Albert would always be there to recap The Bachelor with him, no matter how hard the rest of their friends rolled their eyes. He could talk about music with Henry and books with Crutchie. He fit right in. And, of course, there was Jack. Jack and his awful jokes and stupid, perfect smile. Jack was quickly becoming his best friend, which was amazing and amazingly dangerous. David’s heart skipped a beat when they brushed hands in the hallway or when a patented Jack Kelly Smile was flashed in his direction. David was screwed.

Or, he thought he was screwed. It only took one simple movie date to turn quick, stolen glances to quick, stolen kisses. As their relationship grew, David got to know Jack’s smiles on a deeply personal level. It didn’t take long for him to begin The Official (mental) List of Jack Kelly Smiles.

The first kind was the kind everyone saw, the kind David saw when they first met.

The second smile was the loving smile he shot to his friends when he thought they weren’t looking.

Let’s be real, Jack has a lot of friends. Yet, somehow, nobody manages to get lost or left behind. It was one of the first things David noticed about Jack and one of the things that made him fall for Jack in the first place. He cared so deeply for each and every one of his friends. Their friend group may not have a real leader but Jack was certainly their rock. He always made sure everyone was invited everywhere and he was always the first to support all of his friends.

Race was captain of the baseball team and, while he may not know much about sports, Jack went to every game. Baseball was important to Race and he worked so hard to make sure he would be able to earn a scholarship for college someday and that was enough for Jack and Crutchie to be in the front row for every single game.

It was one of Jack’s favorite traditions. Eating sunflower seeds and chatting with Crutchie and Spot, who was otherwise hesitant to hang out with Race’s friends. David was honored when he was invited to one of Race’s games on a Friday night.

The number of their friends who came to the games fluctuated, this week it was just Jack, Crutchie, Spot and David. David half-watched the game and half-watched Jack. Every time Race stepped up the plate Jack smiled but bit his lip as if he didn’t want to jinx anything.

Every time Race hit the ball, which admittedly was very frequently, Jack cheered, the smile never leaving his face. The pride Jack felt for his friend, his brother, was obvious and contagious. His lips stayed turned for minutes after Race’s at-bat was over, when even Spot had moved on to snacking and talking about an upcoming quiz with Crutchie. But not Jack, Jack was watching Race stand at second base with that same smile on his face. David wanted to mention how sweet Jack was, how much he admired Jack’s love and devotion, but he didn’t want to ruin the moment. So instead, he laced their fingers together and brought Jacks's hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. He hoped that he got the message across.

The third smile on David’s list was the one he shared with Medda. This was one of David’s favorites. As a momma’s boy himself he fell in love with the way Jack treated Medda with all the respect and appreciation in the world.

The first time Jack invited David to dinner to meet Medda, David was beyond nervous. Although Medda had the reputation of being the fun mom who the rest of the boys loved, David couldn’t calm his nerves.

He had heard the way Jack talked about Medda. He gushed his appreciation for her selflessness as she took Jack in and the way she was able to become the mother he didn’t have growing up. And how, after five years, she became more of a mother than his biological mom ever was. So, her reputation preceded her by a long shot.

Jack and David had gone to the library after school to get homework done and were walking back to Jack’s apartment for dinner. They walked hand in hand talking about everything and nothing. They were both ramblers, each so passionate about their own interests they could go on for hours. So, it wasn’t abnormal for David to be this quiet with Jack, it was simply Jack’s turn to ramble. But still, somehow, Jack noticed something was up.

“You okay, Davey?” Jack knocked his shoulder into David’s as they walked.

“Nervous, I guess. I don’t wanna mess this up.”

“You’re gonna be perfect. Last time Elmer was over we watched Rent and he sobbed for like 45 minutes and then he proceeded to set the smoke alarm off while cooking a hotdog. Medda has seen it all.”

“Sounds like Elmer.” David nodded. “But unless you were also dating Elmer, I don’t think it’s the same.”

“Maybe I was, you don’t know everything about me,” Jack joked. “But seriously, you’re gonna be amazing. She’s not gonna be scary or anything. She knows that you make me happy and she wants to meet you, that’s all.”

David’s heart fluttered at the idea of Jack talking to Medda about him. He tried to find comfort in that instead of feeling intimidated by his own reputation.

And Jack was right, Medda welcomed him into their home with open arms. They talked about school and David’s family, the conversation was easy. He complimented Medda’s cooking and Medda told David that Jack has never been as motivated in school as he’s been since he and David got together.

David found it easy to be himself and enjoy his dinner, which was good because he was planning on spending a lot more time at Jack’s apartment in the future (Jack had his own room and David doesn’t).

After they ate they moved to the living room to watch a movie, Jack and David on the couch and Medda on a smaller loveseat. “You picked a good one, Jack,” Medda said as she scrolled through Disney+.

“Ma, stop.” Jack buried his head into David’s shoulder before looking back at Medda, cheeks pink with a blush.

Jack and Medda smiled at each other and David felt like he had a window into their daily lives. Happy and comfortable with each other, sharing the same wide grin.

It would honestly be hard for David to decide if Jack’s friends or Medda were the most important things in Jack’s life. He devoted himself entirely to his friends (as seen in smile #2) but Medda was his family. The only family he had. He openly loved Medda, never being embarrassed by how his friends tease him for being a momma’s boy, a baby. But with Jack and Medda together, smiling at each other and sharing their lives, David knew it was important that Medda liked him. More important than if Crutchie and the boys liked him, more important than anything. David knew he was safe in their smiles.

The fourth kind of smile was special to David because it was only for him.

Jack and David were in the back of David’s hand-me-down minivan, trunk open and beak seats down so they could lie in the back. His car wasn’t new or cool in the slightest but he was one of the few of their friends who had a car of his own, and that was enough. This was one of their favorite dates; they would pack snacks and blankets and drive as far upstate as they were willing to go. When the sun went down they would find a park or any open space, open the trunk and lie there for hours. Watching the sunset, watching the stars, pretending they weren’t being eaten by mosquitoes. Outside the city, they could see past the streetlights, up to the sky. It was beautiful and they were together so it was perfect.

They would talk about everything, school, their families, their friends, their hopes, their dreams, their future.

Or, they would sit in silence, enjoying each other's presence and looking at the sky.

Or, of course, being teenage boys, they would make out. The thrill of being alone and away from home taking over.

It was perfect for them.

This particular night, Jack had fallen asleep. David let him rest. It was getting late anyway and they had a long ride home. David would rather Jack slept now so he could keep him company on the drive. Jack slept with his head resting on David’s chest and David carded his fingers through Jack’s hair. With his other hand, David texted his parents, saying he’d leave for home soon and replied to some texts in the group chat with his friends. He was completely relaxed. He couldn’t help but think of a life where this was his day to day. Lying with Jack, fingers in his hair, looking at the stars. He wouldn’t have to tell his parents where he was going or when he’d come home. He wouldn’t have to separate from Jack at the end of the night, leaving him with a goodnight kiss but yearning for more. For Jack in bed next to him when he goes to sleep and when he wakes up in the morning.

Maybe someday. For sure someday, if David had anything to say about it.

But for now, David had to bring Jack home. With a kiss to the top of his head, he began to wake Jack up.

“Jackie, we gotta get home.” Jack looked up and David and yawned, then smiled.

This smile was different from what Race and Crutchie saw or what Medda saw. This was a sleepy, lovesick smile that was for David only. That proved to David that Jack wanted their future, too. He wanted to sleep with David and actually sleep with David every night, to live the rest of their lives together.

Jack’s eyes were still closed but he still looked at David, without breaking his smile he asked: “Do we have to leave?”

David sat up, forcing Jack to move from his position on his chest. “You’re the one with a curfew, babe, not me.”

“Forget the curfew, I wanna stay.” Despite his words, Jack stood and walked to the passenger seat.

Sliding into the driver’s seat, David kissed Jack’s temple. “You know I don’t wanna get on Medda’s bad side.” David backed out of the parking lot they were in, some random baseball field a couple miles off the highway.

“You’re too far on the good side to get demoted for one missed curfew.” Jack waited for David to merge onto the highway and took his right hand, kissing his knuckles and letting their hands rest on his lap.

Jack doesn’t drive but he loves being a passenger. He liked sitting with his knees pointed toward David, talking and singing to the radio. He liked looking out the window at the long stretches of road.

David liked driving, it was therapeutic to him, they were the perfect pair.

The fifth Jack Kelly Smile was the wide, open-mouthed grin of Jack’s laugh.

Jack laughed a LOT. He never took himself too seriously and his friends were all hilarious in their own kind of layered-inside-joke way. They were notorious for disrupting classes with side conversations turned to wholehearted laughter, especially as there were just so many of them they were bound to always have a friend or two in class. That was part of what was so beautiful about their friend group. They were all friends with each other, no subgroups. Any combination of their friends could be comfortable hanging out at any given moment. That was part of what made David feel so comfortable with them when he first came to their school.

Anyway, lots of friends plus a goofy personality equals always laughing. David loved Jack’s laugh. It was loud and obnoxious and not at all charming like the rest of his personality. Crutchie likes to tease him for it, saying it keeps him humble.

David’s favorite is when Jack laughs until he cries. He loves the pure joy on his face as everything falls away except for him and whatever he’s laughing at.

Like the time they all went bowling and Race slipped down the lane because he refused to wear bowling shoes. Or when Crutchie gave a dramatic reading of Othello for their English class in the worst British accent Jack had ever heard.

Jack would throw his head back and laugh until no noise could come out anymore. Then, the only way you could tell he was laughing and not crying would be the way his smile never left his face. Tears would rush down his cheeks and his face would grow red but his smile never faltered.

And as they sat now, in Jack’s living room, surrounded by all their friends, Jack was laughing with tears on his cheeks. Ever the affectionate type, Jack was sprawled across his friends, legs on Finch’s lap and head on David’s. David wasn’t sure that Jack actually knew what he was laughing at, at this point. But he was surrounded by the best people he knew and that was enough.

When Jack finally gained control over his breathing, David wiped the tears from Jack’s cheeks with his thumbs before leaning down and kissing him on the forehead.

Looking at that smile he couldn’t help himself. “I love you, Jack,” he said as if they were the only two in the room or even the world.

David couldn't hear their friends teasing because nothing could compare to the Jack Kelly Smile when he tells David he loves him too.

#twist writes #Newsies #Javid #Modern Newsies #modern javid #Jack Kelly #davey jacobs #david jacobs #newsies fanfiction #newsies fic #newsies fluff #javid fluff #jack kelly x david jacobs #i love these boys

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seasaltmemories · 4 years

Text

Persona 5 Royal Review/Analysis

So I didn’t have a ps4 when the original persona 5 came out, so royal was my first experience with the game, as a result, I will be talking about spoilers for both the original content and Royal bc a lot of the additions seem mixed in aside from just the third semester stuff

let’s get the summary

Prepare for an all-new RPG experience in Persona 5 Royal based in the universe of the award-winning series, Persona! Don the mask of Joker and join the Phantom Thieves of Hearts. Break free from the chains of modern society and stage grand heists to infiltrate the minds of the corrupt and make them change their ways! Persona 5 Royal is packed with new characters, confidants, story depth, new locations to explore, and a new grappling hook mechanic for stealthy access to new areas.

So one of the things that I picked up really early on into my playthrough was that Persona 5 feels like a very adolescent piece of media, like yeah it is about highschoolers, but more than just its cast and setting, it seemed really fixated on capturing and adolescent mindset, there is this fresh awareness to the injustices of the world and a burning desire to fix it without much understanding of how to even began to tackle those problems, and the fact it stuck so hard to to that worldview made me a lot more forgiving of its flaws then I might have otherwise been, not that there isn’t stuff to critique about the way it tackles controversial issues, but at the same time i just had this mindset of, “well of course they aren’t going to get everything right, what can you expect from teens?”

Anyone who knows me knows I am a pretentious blow-hard, but I think P5 is a perfect example of just how important style is to anything. So much of the pure glee and joy I got when I booted up the game came from the fun presentation and commitment to the phantom thief aesthetic, I have a lot of thoughts on gameplay that seem to be contradictory to the general consensus but to keep things brief, all the “sneaking’ around a palace, grappling from places, ambushing enemies, and performing all out attacks just all gave this sense of being cool and stylish that was great, even if the writing stronger, without those fun flourishes I don’t think I would have enjoyed my experience as much

I also think the more than any other game, persona 5 does a great job of making me thinking “just one more thing” you got a lot of confidants to fill and stats to raise to fill them so there is always something to do, at most during the story sections things sometimes dragged, but i was eager to finish them to get back to finishing my goals, for as long as the game was, this made it feel so much more manageable

Unpacking an entire 110 hour playthrough is kinda an overwhelming task, so instead I’m going to talk about my four favorite characters and hopefully that will cover some good amount of material

1) Goro Akechi- one of the first things I knew about this game was what a controversial character this bastard was and it turns out I fell on the side that loves him bc I think I have a thing for traitor characters, I have to say though for most of the game I wasn’t sure how I felt about him, I knew his true role going in, so it was hard to get attached to Detective Prince Akechi as most of his interactions with Joker felt like an act, however his Rank 8 confidant link, when he not only pulls out a gun on you and challenges you to an one on one fight but also freaking throws a glove to challenge you in a duel I was like “oh so you’re a little bitch boy then!” and never turned back

To me part of what makes him so compelling is just how stubbornly he is set on his path straight to Hell, a lot of ppl were moved by his tragic backstory but honestly it does little for me, I think it is important to consider, but you have to remember he approached Shido about his powers first and basically volunteered to be his personal assassin, still it is hard to ignore that sense of lost potential, in a way I can see how getting to pretend to be a part of a safe and welcoming team environment almost made things worst because he just kept feeling like, “why wasn’t I allowed to have this earlier” and just too tied to his current path of self-destruction to waver from it, like even the fact the Phantom Thieves and he had the same goals regarding Shido in the end, he couldn’t side with bc that would mean acknowledging all the murder he did was for nothing, so they just continued to be another target on his list, made all the more dangerous bc of the affection he held for them

That said I don’t think I would have liked him so much without Royal’s updates, I mentioned Rank 8 being a key moment for me but aside from that, the fight with him in Shido palace had so much going on, it kinda dulled the weight of any one of the numerous revelations, 3rd semester kinda brought in the perfect amount and balance of the different sides of Akechi, the minute he appeared I swear me and my brother cheered in joy, obvious spoilers for the rest of it

I had seen 3rd semester Akechi called “feral” and while he is still as horny for murder as ever, i don’t really think that fits, there is still a sense of restraint to his actions, yet he doesn’t mask his true intentions and feelings so much, what I like is that his rudeness and outbursts come off as very deliberate and planned, as if he enjoys exposing the contrast between his “pleasant” reputation and his true bitterness, and with the reveal that oops he is supposed to be dead, you still have that determined “don’t be a fucking pussy, just pull the trigger,” attitude, I really like the dynamic that forms between a Joker that just wants the best for him and an Akechi that just emphatically refuses to be saved in anyway, he is an easy character to woobify but I love how canon just at every turn doesn’t let you ever see his true vulnerability even if we all know it exists down there, also just something about hearing him curse is always so much fun and delightful

TLDR: I have a lot of feelings about this edgy bastard and may or may not already have a playlist for him

2) Makoto Niijima- another character I had an interesting relationship with, while from the start she seemed like my type, the overwhelming love for her kinda made my hipster side apprehensive, however predictably I was won over and I did romance her in the end (what can I saw my Joker is into brunettes)

Part of what makes her stick out so much to me, is how the game felt much less afraid to show her unlikable in comparison to other characters, i usually don’t complain or really notice this but more than any other game series I’ve played, there is definitely a lot of self-insert fantasy elements involved, ppl rip the newer FE games apart for that, but I never really saw it as the terrible as the cast had dozens of life changing interactions with other characters, the fact most of the interaction we see are through Joker’s eyes, and the fact that he is the catalyst to changing several adults’ lives made this element a lot more noticeable

But not only does Makoto take an antagonistic role at first, but they let her be so smug and annoying that I probably hated her with the same passion as the characters themselves, yet even when she comes over to or sides, her flaws are still pretty open, like when trying to help out Futuba, she definitely had that air of, “neurotypical trying too hard to make you normal” that was understandable but still annoying, and I appreciate it bc it made the contrast between her good points all the sharper

I kinda wanted to roll my eyes at first at her archetype as an honors student, bc yeah i was a nerdy student who didn’t know how to connect with my peers and just kinda subconsciously sucked up to adults bc I didn’t know what else to do, but in comparison to the teeming tragic backstories involved, you can see a stark difference in scale, yet Makoto is just carrying all this familiar teenage girl anger that reminds me a lot of Serena from Arc V, and getting to see her embrace it is very cathartic, I also really enjoyed her confidant which was surprising after seeing everyone tear into it so much, I feel like a lot of ppl’s confidant’s centered around other ppl and it didn’t just start off with the Eiko stuff, you see her Makoto want to change from the sheltered snobbish life she has kinda trapped herself in and rediscover her dream of being a police commissioner, I also found it fitting for her to also kinda figure that out through her own little investigation and to see that exploration of justice explored through her acting with a third party

The fact she is related to Sae also gives her interesting relationships we get to see from a different POV, and a greater investment in arcs outside her own, it just naturally gives her the feeling of being more well-rounded to have it spread out, and while her romance stuff did have the same sort of fantasy elements (that I greatly self-indulged in) overall I never felt like Joker was “saving” her in some way but growing and exploring along sides her

Overall, a great character and while i think best girl debates are dumb, I will not stand for hearing her described as worst girl

3) Ann Takamaki- honestly before I got this game I expected her to be the “main girl” with a lot of popularity and focus so seeing how little love she gets was heartbreaking for me, bc she is part of what made the early phantom thieves so enjoyable

I’ve heard the discussions about the issues around her sexualization and I think things on that access come out to be a wash, the developers kinda brush near some interesting ideas about the struggles women face with sex and attraction but don’t really know what to do with that, and so I think trying to trace and overall arch one way or another about her and her body issues is kinda a lesson in futility

in the end though what made her click for me is just how much fun her personality is, like I feel like in other stories her cheerfulness might come off as generic, but the fact that she is introduced so depressed and sullen makes her attitude shift come off as refreshing, like we know she can be serious, but the fact she isn’t being repeatedly sexually harassed by her teacher gives her like plenty of reason to goof off and enjoy herself

Again despite all the criticism I really enjoyed her confidants, the Mika stuff was honestly barely a blip in the thing and most of it alternated between her shooting the breeze and just having fun and still dealing with that lingering guilt and issues surrounding Shiho and just not having been able to save a close friend when she really needed her, I think the contrast is very much needed, especially to keep things from feeling like wallowing, which i felt was a problem with some other confidants

In the end though the main reason i didn’t romance her was bc as much as I liked her as a character, I didn’t want her to be with Joker specifically, i wanted to support her and see her finally confess her feelings to Shiho and the two of them go ride off into the sunset lol, still there’s a reason I reached rank 10 with her first

4) Takuto Maruki- lol so in this section I’m going to basically go into all my 3rd semester thoughts, again the first leg of his confidant was kinda dull, but I was prioritizing him bc of the deadline, once we got into his personal past that is where I got interested

On one hand part of the charm was just getting to see a more adult story, while there are other adult confidants I found the grad school and like academic stuff relatable, plus like the little moment with the steamed glasses was very funny, he’s just a down to earth guy and his kindness is genuine

However when he stepped up as the antagonist in the third semester, that’s when he got interesting, I found the conflict itself of a dream world to be kinda simple, aside from the fact obviously we need to oppose this for a plot to happen, Persona 5 is all about this humanist approach to personal growth and change, most of what I found fascinating about Maruki was the kinda self-martyring narcissism to his approach, like aside from treat the phantom thieves with kid gloves at time and just doing his best to avoid being a bad guy, there is this simmering resentment he masks and tries to replace with his desire to basically save the world, rather than deal with his own drama and baggage he tries to invest his energy into solving other problems

And you can see some of the parallels between him and the phantom thieves that points out some of hypocrisy of themselves, calculating the exact risks and harms of altering ppl through the Metaverse is hard to do due to a variety of factors, personally I don’t even have other Persona games to look to, but in general while it is for the greater good, the phantom thieves basically impose their will onto ppl who didn’t consent to that change, and in the end they decide to oppose Maruki purely based on their desires to not live in it, the game doesn’t do much with it, but I found the contrast more interesting than the Holy Grail one, plus his boss battle was more fun bc you actually got to use the main mechanic of the game, exploiting weaknesses and baton passing

But yeah all this comes to a head at the latter half of the boss fight where he just is so desperate and refuses to lose, it is like abundantly clear that this dream world is much more for himself than it is for anyone else, it is a desire to turn all his trauma into something more meaningful than just pain, and nothing shows that more clearly than the fact he fistfights a high schooler even after he has basically lost and tries to let himself die rather than face the consequences of his lost. All in all I think he was the my favorite antagonist and palace holder

Some last thoughts I couldn’t fit elsewhere: Casino was my favorite palace, while weak story-wise, Okumura was far from my least favorite palace gameplay-wise and his boss fight as frustrating as it was might be my favorite for engaging with the player, if anything my least favorite palace was Futaba’s, my favorite showtimes are probably Morgana/Ann, Makoto/Ryuji, and Joker/Kasumi, Caroline and Justine are a delight and I really miss them, Tycoon is addicting and distracted me from being able to beat the game for a while

I got more hot takes I might elaborate on in length in the future, but in conclusion this is another rec where I can see and understand ppl being disappointed in some of the writing and its quality but at the same time i think there is still value ppl are too quick to dismiss and definitely multiple reasons to still enjoy it, I think this is going to stick with me for longer than I first thought it wound

#persona 5 #my reviews #p5 royal spoilers #mutuals feel free to discuss this with me more #bc those hot takes are real but at the same time i wanted to keep this focused on what I enjoyed #rather than drown ppl in nitpicks

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neonganymede · 6 years

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Genji/Zenyatta. 42."I swear it was an accident" P.s. o boy, I read ur genyatta drabble like 5 times I LOVE IT! (If u saw any mistakes sorry English is not my first language )

Oh my gosh, I’m so happy you enjoyed my last Genyatta fic! That was my first time writing for the pairing, so I was a bit nervous. You are just too wonderful; I hope you like this one just as much!

42. “I swear it was an accident.”

send me a pairing and a number for a drabble!

Zenyattaloved to dance.

Hewould meditate for long, pensive moments, quiet save for the faint tinklingfrom his orbs. Then, after so long of sitting motionless and silent, he wouldbegin to move, his orbs following the motions of his hands with such grace,such poignant beauty that anyone passing by would pause and marvel at themesmerizing omnic. Zenyatta never noticed, never hesitated for even a moment toacknowledge his audience. He simply continued dancing to a tune only he couldhear.

Zenyattaloved to dance.

Genji loved to watch.

IfZenyatta was dancing, his student was nearby, observing quietly from behind apillar or building or whatever cover he could find to keep from being detected.It wasn’t that Genji worried that Zenyatta would be mad or upset at beingwatched so closely (Zenyatta, in fact, often encouraged observation for Genjito better find inner peace). It was Genji’s own shame that kept him hidden, hisown worries that perhaps he was not watching only to discover inner peace butfor other, more… selfish reasons.

Genjiloved to watch because he didn’t think he’d ever seen anything more beautiful.

AndGenji had known beauty. Before he met Zenyatta, before Blackwatch, before hisbrother—beauty had been so simple. Beautymeant women, their lips coated in red and their eyes alight with seduction, ormen with smooth skin that made even smoothersounds. Beauty had been Hanzo,his chin raising in pride when his arrow hit the middle of its target. Beauty had been Genji, whose skin hadonce been unblemished with scars, when he had been whole.

After,beauty had been in the easy way bodies fell to his blade. Bad people, he’d beentold. Omnics. Those who opposed Overwatch and harmed the innocent. Beauty had been the lives they had saved.Beauty had been the pain because ithad been worth it, so he’d thought.

Butthen he’d met Zenyatta. Then he saw his master dance, and he knew beauty again.True beauty, for the first time, andnow he knew fear. Not fear like what he felt the night his brother slew him,not the fear of death.

Thefear of loss. If Zenyatta knew andrealized that his reasons weren’t honorable, then he might dismiss Genji as afailure. The idea of losing his master terrified him more than he would haveever imagined.

Sohe stayed hidden, stealing glances at Zenyatta’s elegant movements when hecould.

Today,he was hiding behind a pillar at the monastery they were visiting. He couldeasily crouch between the column and the table beside it, the smoke from astick of burning incense providing him perfect cover. He could see Zenyatta,his healing orbs glowing with golden light as he moved elegantly. High, sweepingturns—sharp, abrupt stops—movements all flowing into each other with aprecision Genji had only seen with a blade. Genji, enthralled, leaned an elbowon the table, smiling as he watched those easy motions, wishing he could do that. Wishing he could dance with Zenyatta.

Genji’sarm slipped, his elbow knocking right into the incense burner. It clattered tothe floor, the burning stick rolling along the stone until the dirt put out thethin line of smoke. Genji hissed a quiet curse in his native tongue. Of all thestupid—

Yearsof working in Blackwatch alerted Genji to the eyes on him, and his gaze immediatelysnapped up. Zenyatta, having stopped dancing, had turned around to face him, acurious tilt to his head. Genji swallowed his nerves, his guilt at being caught, and tried his best to make light of thesituation.

“Iswear it was an accident. I am not trying to burn the monastery down, I promise.”

Itmust have worked because Zenyatta’s titillating laughter filled the hollow room.Genji watched him, smiling softly as his master raised a hand to his mouth totry and stay the noise.

“Thatwould have been a very poor attempt, if you were.” Zenyatta calmed himself andlooked serenely at Genji, who got the distinct feeling that Zenyatta wassmiling at him. “Were you spying on me, my student?”

“Whatreason would I have to spy?” Genji asked.

“Thatis what I am trying to discern,” Zenyatta replied pleasantly. “If you wish towatch me dance, you do not need to continue hiding.”

Genjibegan to fidget. He walked out from behind the pillar to face his mentor andaccept his fate. “You… you knew when I would watch you?”

“Always.”Zenyatta beckoned him closer, and Genji obeyed, choosing to sit on the floor beforehim. Zenyatta lowered himself to sit with him, still maintaining that calm thatGenji wished he could exhibit. “Why do you hide? Do you no longer wish tomeditate with me?”

Genjiheard the melancholy in his master’s voice, and he began to reach out, onlyjust catching himself before he could touch Zenyatta. “Of course I do!Meditating with you is one of my favorite things to do.”

Zenyattareached out to take Genji’s hand, holding it as carefully as he might hold achild’s doll. Genji took a deep breath, feeling some of the weight lift fromhis shoulders. “Then please, explain.”

Thiswas it. The moment Genji had been dreading. He took a deep breath and spilledhis secret, prepared to accept the consequences. He would rather do that thanlie to Zenyatta, betray the trust he had been given so willingly.

“Mymotives for watching you are selfish, so I tried to hide. Forgive me for spyingon you.”

“Howare your motives selfish, my student?” Zenyatta asked, genuinely confused.

“I…enjoy watching you dance,” Genji confessed shamefully. He lowered his voice,hoping Zenyatta wouldn’t hear when he added, “I think it’s beautiful.”

Zenyattawas quiet for a long moment. His orbs whirred, spinning with his thoughts, andGenji wondered where those thoughts were leading him, what conclusions he wouldarrive at. He didn’t have to wait long before Zenyatta straightened, full ofpurpose and a certain excitement that made Genji’s heart clench.

“Wouldyou dance with me?”

“I—I don’tknow how to dance,” said Genji, knowing very well how to dance. He used todance all the time, when he was young and immature. He couldn’t show Zenyatta thiskind of dancing, not when Zenyatta had such poise and skill.

“Neitherdo I,” Zenyatta confessed, sounding a bit mournful.

“Butthat’s not true! I’ve watched you! The way you dance is remarkable!” Genjiinsisted with such passion, that Zenyatta chuckled again.

“Simplyby accident, my student. All I do is move the way I feel I should move after meditating.I focus on within and find rhythm there.” Zenyatta motioned to the empty room,to the open space. Genji followed with his eyes but did not move. “Would youtry with me?”

“Verywell.”

“Weshall begin with meditating.” Zenyatta drifted to the middle of the room oncemore, beckoning Genji along with him. Genji sat with him, cross-legged, and closedhis eyes. He tried to clear his mind, to focus within as Zenyatta advised.

But Genji’sthoughts would not dispel. He could not stop thinking about Zenyatta anddancing and embarrassing himself—

Beforehe knew it, he could hear it: the tell-tale sound of Zenyatta dancing. Genjiopened his eyes to see Zenyatta entirely absorbed into his movement, his orbs glowing,his movements containing a serenity Genji hadn’t known for years. Since he was—

Sincehe was whole.

Genjiquit trying to meditate and stood up. He reached behind him and unsheathed hissword. If Zenyatta heard him, he didn’t give any indication; he just keptdancing, trusting, knowing that Genjiwas incapable of ever doing him any harm.

Hetook a few steps back, giving them both equal space, and shut his eyes. Insteadof finding rhythm within himself, Genji followed that which Zenyatta had set.He moved with him, giving in to the natural way his legs wished to carry him,using his sword the way that Zenyatta used his orbs. He let his movements flow likeZenyatta’s, let the peace surround him until he completely forgot he wasdancing.

Untilhe felt the dragon within him surging to life, eager to join in. He began toslow his movements, unwilling to endanger his master, and opened his eyes.

Throughthe green energy of Genji’s dissipating dragon, he could see Zenyatta. Theomnic had stopped dancing and simply stood there, watching Genji with somethingakin to wonder. The same expression, Genji realized, that Genji wore when he observed Zenyatta.

Then Zenyatta’sorbs began to turn in pure happiness, his voice warm as he whispered, “Beautiful.”

#thank you so much!#i loved writing this #genyatta #writing prompts #sorry this took so long #it's been a long day so please excuse any mistakes #i hope this is okay #mypawsonfire

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kpopviralblog · 6 years

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2AM’s Jo Kwon says he’s being used as a scapegoat as his reps accept if his degree is rescinded + Netizens comment

2AM’s Jo Kwon as responded to the controversy of another popular idol member having preferential treatment at Kyunghee University where allegations were pointed towards him on Instagram.

You can find his Instagram here

Translation:

“Hello, this is Jo Kwon.

“I entered Kyung Hee University’s department of Postmodern Music in the class of ’09, and although I wasn’t perfect as I was a celebrity, I sincerely tried hard more than anyone else to do my best in my schoolwork just like any other student.

“After four years of work, I graduated from the undergraduate program and received the honor of entering the master’s degree program at the graduate school. I sincerely focused on my master’s program as well, just as I had with my undergraduate program, but the results that came back after my graduation have been very perplexing to me as well. During my time at graduate school, there were professors who recognized my sincerity about my schoolwork, and professors who wouldn’t recognize it even if I worked harder than anyone else. In other words, there were people who judged me as a celebrity instead of a student. I had that difficulty due to the special nature of my job, but thankfully, many of my professors and students liked me. I thought that I had shed the distinctiveness of being a celebrity and been recognized for my sincerity.

“I do not want my university life, which was filled with my hard work and passion, to be stained because of my distinctiveness as a celebrity. I thought that I am the same as everyone else. I think that that is something anyone can empathize with if they are a student that is passionate and sincere about their studies. The fact that I graduated from Kyung Hee University’s undergraduate and graduate programs and received degrees was not the result of my status as a celebrity. I worked hard to complete the assignments given to me by the school. As I write this, I feel very upset over the fact that I am in a situation where I have to explain this. I sincerely completed my undergraduate program in the Postmodern Music department, and my sincerity and passion for my studies were acknowledged to the point that during my undergraduate program, I received a scholarship.

“In regards to my graduate school graduation, which has become a controversy, at the Kyung Hee University Art Fusion Design graduate school, students can choose from two methods of confirming their graduation, which are a thesis or a non-thesis (graduation performance) evaluation. I applied for a non-thesis evaluation and graduated, and took part in the evaluation on the day of the thesis evaluation. Through the recent incident, I have learned about the description of preferential treatment particular to those who work as celebrities.

“It is truly a shame that rumors and gossip are inevitable for celebrities and that this kind of explanation is needed. I am aware that there are currently various conspiracies and conflicts between the department’s professors. Isn’t your power struggle that began in the name of getting rid of internal corruption by pulling it out at its roots ruining your own students and school? I’m even a student and pupil who studied hard during those professors’ classes. Is it the fate of a celebrity with popularity to be unable to have even the minimum amount of rights?

“How could you have made this a topic of the news and how could you have caused hurt in this way.. You say that to graduate, you have to do a graduation performance that costs tens of millions of won..? At my final thesis evaluation, when I brought posters and pamphlets about my graduation performance, I was not told of any department rules about the non-thesis (graduation performance) evaluation by the professors who were in attendance at the evaluation. When I submitted the related documents of confirmation to the administration as well, I was not told about rules within the department about the graduation performance and did not receive guidance that this went against the rules. If I had known that, I of course would have done a performance that met those rules.

“A student that graduated in 2016 through a performance has said that rules created by the professor in charge then were not rules shared with the school’s administration or other professors. For reference, when I graduated in 2017, the professor in charge then was not the same as the professor in charge in 2016. Also, if a performance doesn’t cost tens of millions of won, is it a lackluster performance..? It is not possible to confirm the related rules on the home page of the Art Fusion Design department. There was also no mention of the department’s rules during the thesis public announcement application or even when I applied for the non-thesis evaluation. I applied under a non-thesis (graduate performance) evaluation in accordance with the application qualifications for non-thesis evaluations that were posted on the home page. I know that in addition to me, other graduate students did not know about these rules. If there were published rules, we would have known.

“I thought that I had fulfilled all of my duties for my graduation in 2017 that were given to me by the school.

“Throughout my time at graduate school, I did my studies while doing my best. I knew that in my last semester I could choose between doing a thesis and doing a non-thesis evaluation in order to graduate, and as there was the qualification requirement that said I could choose the non-thesis evaluation, I chose the method that was the best for me.

“Regarding the regulations that were described as strict by the student who previously graduated through a graduation performance in the news interview, only the thesis application and non-thesis evaluation application forms were posted on the the school’s undergraduate notice board, and only the qualifications to apply for the non-thesis evaluation were posted, with no information about the graduation performance. Then can there really be department rules that the professors in charge who were present on the day of evaluation and the administration department aren’t aware of?

“It was done under the title of busking, and busking is a performance done in a free style. Because I didn’t put tens of millions of won into the performance, I couldn’t perform in an extravagant way.

“During my graduation evaluation announcement, when I was doing a presentation to my professors, I asked for their understanding about the performance date, and I was told to submit the video later on for the professor’s verification, with no one saying anything about me not being able to graduate if I did it in this manner. The Busan photo I uploaded on May 6 was one that I uploaded after going there on May 5 and already returning. It’s true that I did the performance in the Kyung Hee University Peace Open-Air Theater, and it is not a manipulated video. In the open-air theater with 8,000 or so seats, I did not use lights or large parts, and since I was doing a small-scale performance to submit to the professor, I was not aware that I would have to make an inquiry to the school.

“It was not only me but also the students who I was in the master’s program together with who did not know about these regulations. If these had been official published regulations that all of the graduate students in our department had known about, since I’m not a fool, I would have spent tens of millions of won in the preparation for my graduation as per these regulations.

“However, all I did was prepare for my graduation sincerely according to what the school had told me. Studying diligently is of course the duty of a student, and you cannot simply graduate just by studying diligently. To the reporter who reported through SBS8 News, you thoughtlessly used the performance video of the student who graduated in 2016 without their agreement and said tens of millions of won hadn’t been spent, but what are the exact regulations that even the school doesn’t know about? I received information from fellow students at my school, and I have both a recorded tape of a professor saying there are no regulations and a screenshot of the graduated student in the report saying that the reporter had exaggerated too much when he wrote the report.

“Anyone could tell that the reporter and professors’ focus was about a deeper part of the school internally, but if you just look at today’s news, why do I have to become the sacrificial lamb..? To the reporter who exaggerated when he wrote his article, I don’t know if the general public will just see the sensational article and react to how it seems, and I really don’t know about anything else, but I believe that my fellow students from my university and graduate school days and the professors whose classes I took so diligently know more than anyone else that I sincerely did my best at school as a student and not as a celebrity.

“Also, the fact that my time at university has in a single moment become ‘lackluster’ and ‘manipulated’ is so painful.

“I sincerely apologize for causing concern to many people.

“Since I first heard that there would be an article coming out about me, I’ve been preparing to share my view. I’m so sorry that it seems like the staff of my former agency and current agency had to make difficult statements. I was worried that things would be distorted so I didn’t do any interviews. Before I posted this message, I thoroughly checked with a department professor once again about the details and regulations, as well as checked that graduation from the master’s program was determined by the judgement of a professor’s evaluation of a thesis, and also have the evidence from the students that the stated regulations do not exist. That is why I am clearly sharing my position now.

“When I was preparing for my graduation performance, no one explained to me about the regulations. I thought that the preparation process I was carrying out was the normal process. I thought that Kyung Hee University would make a statement first, but as they haven’t, I’m posting about how I feel for those people who are frustrated.

“Although I am lacking, I will continue to do my best to have a good influence, but the current reality in which I can’t do anything in front of unseen authority is such a shame.

“As Cube Entertainment’s statement said, no matter what the results are of my mistake in regards to the later submission of the video, I will humbly accept it. However, I did not do a lackluster performance and I sang with all my heart. I sent a video to the school in the way I had been told. Isn’t it too malicious to say that I filmed it in a manipulated way?

“If I look back on my life including before I became a singer and after, I thought that I’m doing well. Rather than thinking that I need to do better, I’ve thought that I’ve done well to have done this much. Once again, I apologize for having caused concern to many people.

“To the reporter who made the report, you found out my number somehow and called directly a few days ago several times. Of course as a reporter, the exaggerated contents would have come from someone at the school, but you don’t know the deeper story.

“There may be people who believe the contents of the report, but what was the exact goal you wanted to achieve through a report that was founded on a rumor from within a school? Even I don’t know if the part I know is just a rumor or the truth. All that is clear is that the situation in the school is not normal right now, and it’s a fact that students and certain celebrities are becoming sacrificial lambs.

“Since I feel that this is unjust, I wanted to object to the local news reporter’s pen and ability to write, but I hope that you will stay true to a reporter’s conviction of unyielding to objection.”

Source: Sports Donga via Nate 1. [+1,074, -40] Let's be real, he's not the only one out there. He just got unlucky and was caught. Celebrities get perks everywhere. 2. [+1,023, -26] The amount of army evasion in the industry is too severe 3. [+952, -75] I knew there were too many stars with master's and doctorate degrees. How can they be deserving of these degrees when they've never even put out a thesis? Why are there so many comments supporting him when he should be getting into school on his own merit? All he's done is shatter the hopes of students actually deserving of these degrees. Please return your degree and take the punishment that's due. 4. [+46, -1] ㅋㅋㅋ When 'Infinity Challenge' was poking fun at Haha's master's degree, I didn't think much and just laughed along but now I realize it was so he could postpone the army and get into public service. 5. [+33, -2] Most celebrities who are postponing service until 30 years old are obviously getting into graduate school for the sole purpose of that so why is the army turning a blind eye to this? Please shut down all the schools that are allowing this. Source: Star News via Nate 1. [+1,785, -130] From Jo Kwon's perspective, I can see how this must suck for him... I'm sure the truth will come out but if what he's saying is true, it's going to be hard for him for a while... Not sure about the rest but I'm sure Jo Kwon really worked hard in school. Find strength!! 2. [+1,205, -67] He's right, though. Aren't most of the idols who are in college right now in it for the same reasons? If you're going to target one of them, you should target them all. 3. [+144, -7] What Jo Kwon's saying is that there were never any rules and he was never notified about his thesis. If it's true, then yeah, it sucks for him. It's obvious even with Jung Yonghwa's scandal that there's no rule to follow in this school. Even the professor went to interview Jung Yonghwa personally... If there were rules set in place for these things, none of this would've happened. It's wrong to accuse him of breaking rules that never existed. 4. [+131, -9] The one that's in the wrong here is Kyunghee University. Not that I'm saying Jo Kwon did anything right but we need to get to the root of the issue and it seems like the school and their professors are the bigger issue here. It feels wrong to put all the blame on the celebrities instead. 5. [+93, -9] Yup, he's right, if we're going to dig into this issue, we need to uncover all the celebrities, not just target one... Source: Naver

1. [+13,923, -285] It does seem like there are parts to this scandal that is unfair to Jo Kwon. All these celebrities keep getting pinpointed by the media but one of the attention is on how rotten the school is but more on ruining the image of the celebrities. 2. [+11,218, -185] This is a laughable school ㅋㅋ Well Jo Kwon claims he has recordings and everything so just release them... you can tell how angry he is by his words 3. [+10,037, -375] Sounds like he has every right to be mad by his post 4. [+1,940, -80] He's always been a hard worker, I sense something genuine from his post 5. [+1,781, -56] The target should've been on the school all along instead of the celebrity in question

#2am

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minijenn · 6 years

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Universe Falls Preview 3

K so yeah this is the last preview I’m giving ya’ll for this chapter because from here on until like almost the end its just a fucking montage with dialogue scenes mixed in so yeah. This is kinda mostly by the books (most of the original stuff is gonna come pretty late on in the chapter) but I still think its pretty good (plus I wrote all of this today, so yay, progress!) So yeah, enjoy!

In order to properly train Connie and Dipper in the ways of the blade, Pearl would need the proper venue to accommodate such training, and fortunately, she knew of the perfect place. The white Gem warped herself and the kids to this greatly elevated destination with a broad, confident smile, a pair of training swords cradled in her arms. The kids were a bit less dignified, with Connie giggling in excitement and falling flat onto the pad as they arrived, having warped only a handful of times compared to Steven and the twins. The young Gem chuckled himself as he helped her up, and while Mabel initially smiled in amusement at this, her expression soon fell as she glanced over at Dipper, whose manner was quite cold and serious, even despite the beautifully bewildering place they were now in.

The massive marble structure seemed to be set adrift in an endless sea of fluffy white clouds, high above the ground with only sunny blue skies above it. The pair of staircases behind the warp pad led to a vast, open-air arena, one that clearly showed is age in how over half of it had completely crumbled apart. What was left was still rather impressive though, from its high staggered seating, to its towering pillars and accompanying statues, to the collection of four diamond symbols stacked together at the pinnacle of the structure, the bottommost of which had broken apart quite some time ago. The kids all soaked this incredibly sight in with apt wonder as they followed Pearl down into the arena’s empty center, which would certainly provide more than enough space to pass her sword fighting skills along to her two new students.

“Whoa… this place is amazing!” Connie exclaimed upon finally seeing the full lay of the arena and the billowing clouds surrounding it.

“It certainly is, Connie,” Pearl smiled broadly, her back turned to the kids as she glanced down to the pair of training swords resting in her arms. “This is an Ancient Sky Arena, where some of the first battles for Earth took place! It was here that I became familiar with the human concept of being a knight, completely dedicated to a person and a cause. Its easily the most noble, heroic resolve any Gem or human could hope to dedicate themselves to. Dipper, Connie, that is what you both must become: brave, loyal, selfless. Entirely devoted and committed not to yourselves, but to those you’re willing to give up everything to protect and serve! You… must be knights!”

At this, the white Gem turned to her young pupils, finally holding the pair of training swords out to them and silently instructing them to take up these blades. For both Dipper and Connie, the moment they both reached out to take their swords felt surreal, almost monumental. After all, these weren’t just plastic toys or dulled metal; these were real, sharp, potentially deadly weapons, weapons that they were about to learn how to wield with their own hands. As the pair exchanged a rather tentative glance upon claiming these weapons for themselves, they could both acutely feel just how intimidating this prospect really was. In fact, it was so initially intimidating to them both that they gave Pearl’s manifesto much thought, even if Steven and Mabel were rather caught off guard by its somewhat alarming implications. Still, the white Gem didn’t waste a beat as she decided to formally start her training regimen.

“We begin with a bow,” she said authoritatively. “First to me, your teacher.” As Pearl gracefully bowed to her pupils, Dipper and Connie followed suit, albeit a bit less confidently, both of them awkwardly holding their swords and unwittingly showing that they had quite a lot to learn. “Now again, to your fellow student.” The pair did as the white Gem said, respectfully bowing to each other and ignoring the soft chuckles starting to bubble up from Mabel and Steven behind them. “And finally, to your lieges.” Pearl nodded over to the aforementioned laughing pair, who were quick to sober up under the sudden scrutiny.

Steven’s smile was quick to return however as Connie lowered herself to one knee before him, her manner filled with plenty of hints of levity as she did so. “My liege,” she remarked, her tone intentionally overdramatic.

“Miss Knight,” the young Gem acknowledged with an air of playful sovereignty before both him and Connie broke down into a gale of muted laughter under their breaths.

Mabel was already smirking as she watched this silly, lighthearted interaction, but her smile widened with surprise as Dipper suddenly bowed to her, much to her amusement. “Tis an honor, Sir Dipping Sauce,” she giggled, slightly bowing back to him, though Dipper adamantly refused to join in on her merriment.

“Come on, Mabel,” he scowled admonishingly as he glanced up at her slightly, causing her smile to drop almost instantly. “This is serious.”

“Indeed it is, Dipper,” Pearl agreed as she overheard this, taking a step closer. “I’m glad someone here recognizes that fact…” The white Gem frowned as she sent a critical glance to Steven and Connie, who were quick to stop laughing and straighten up upon being called out.

“Oh! S-sorry, ma’am!” Connie blushed, clearly flustered by her teacher’s admonishment.

“Mm hm…” Pearl nodded as her gemstone began to glow. Out of it emerged a pair of near-perfect holographic replicas of the white Gem, both of them already wielding solid rapiers as it stood emotionlessly and rigidly alongside the real Pearl. “Now, to begin, these holo-Pearls will be your opponents.”

While Connie, Mabel, and Dipper were all quite impressed by the white Gem’s holographic abilities, Steven was instantly set on high alert, largely because of something that had happened not too long before summer had begun. In fact, his dread progressively grew as both holo-Pearls raised their blades a bit, their voices crisp and robotic as they spoke in orderly unison. “Level 0, beginner set, dual opponents. Do you wish to engage in combat?”

“Yes!” Connie readily exclaimed, her eyes a light with daring excitement.

“Uh, s-sure, I guess,” Dipper replied a bit more unsteadily, undoubtedly intimidated by the fact that they were actually going to start off learning how to fight firsthand.

Steven, however, was far less complacent with the idea of two of his friends being pitted against such heartless holographs in the same way he had when Pearl had been out of commission for nearly two weeks and one of the only remnants of her he had left had been one such ruthless combatant apparition. Which was why, upon his mere self-preservation instinct alone, a large pink bubble bloomed around him, Connie, Mabel, and Dipper, startling the other three as they all looked to the wide-eyed young Gem questioningly.

“Steven? Are… you ok?” Mabel asked with a concerned frown, taking note of his rather shallow, sharp breathing.

“H-huh?” Steven blinked before noticing the bubble he had unconsciously created. “Oh! I-I’m sorry! It’s… i-it was… um, r-reflex…” The young Gem lowered his bubble, scratching the back of his neck as he let out an awkward laugh and began to back away. “Uh, y-you guys just be careful and we’ll… we’ll, uh, be over here…”

“Yeah, have fun, you guys!” Mabel called with a small smile as she began to follow Steven over to the stands, but not before placing a steady hand on Dipper’s uninjured shoulder. “Seriously though, bro-bro,” she whispered to him, her manner suddenly quite intent and worried. “Be careful. Even if you said you’re feeling better, you still probably shouldn’t go all overboard with this sword fighting stuff—even if it is really cool—so soon after… w-well, you know. So… so just promise me you won’t push yourself too far… ok?”

Dipper hesitated upon hearing this, his grip tightening around the hilt of his sword as he met his sister’s sincere, almost pleading gaze. But all the same, he forced a weak, reassuring smile, pulling his posture up as he nodded slightly. “Don’t worry, Mabel. I’m not gonna go ‘overboard’ or anything like that. I… I promise.”

Mabel smiled once more, allayed by this affirmation as her hand slipped off his shoulder. “Thanks,” she sighed contentedly as she hurried to join Steven on the stands. “And hey! You got this, ‘Sir Dippin-Dots!”

Despite his earlier exasperation with Mabel’s playful nicknaming, Dipper couldn’t help but crack a genuine smile at this, glad for her vote of confidence that easily could have been nothing more than teasing under different circumstances. Even so, he couldn’t help but feel the slightest bit guilty as he glanced down to the sword in his hand, not entirely sure if he’d be able to live up to the promise he had just made to her.

Upon seeing that there was no further distractions or delay, Pearl came to stand in between her two students, placing guiding hands upon both of their shoulders as she started her very first lesson. “Alright, everything begins with your stance…”

#ughghghghghghgh mystery twins angst #foreshadowing to pearl angst #what more could i possibly ask for #jen writes #universe falls #do it for them #uf preview

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what-even-is-thiss · 7 years

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Fic, When Logic Grew Up

I got an anon request for a fic. They said they wanted something for Logic stressing out about starting college and the others getting in the way. I don’t think the Sanders Sides existed before last October, so I’m taking some creative liberties here. Just imagine this as an alternate universe of sorts because I don’t know what starting college was like ten years ago, and I’m imagining what the sides were like when Thomas was in his late teens and he hadn’t started talking to them yet.

This is also my first attempt at storytelling through flashbacks. Woo! I also tried my hand at a slow burn type of story, so it got kind of long. 2,541 words long, to be exact. I can’t think of any warnings. It’s mostly sentimental type stuff. Not fluff exactly, but not angst either. A little bit of platonic analogical because I like the idea of them being friends.

Tip Jar

Everybody knows that kid. They hardly try, they stay organized, and overly stress out when they get anything under a 95 on a test. Logic wanted Thomas to be that kid. He believed Thomas had it in him to be that kid, but he never was. Prince had won out in regards to what kind of student Thomas was. He was the theatre kid. It’s hard to have perfect grades when you spend all your time backstage.

Logic was sifting through his files one evening, cleaning them out. He made piles of things to keep and things not to keep. Old obsolete notes, void passwords, and useless bits of information were folded and thrown into the wastebasket, while new facts and words and practical ideas were put into a pile to be sorted for long term memory later.

After cleaning out short term memory, he decided perhaps he should make a sweep through long term as well. This was what he did while Thomas slept, and tonight he guessed he had a little more time.

As usual, he started with some older memories. Some things were easy to clear out. Without Morality here he could make space by getting rid of things like childhood friends names, second grade art projects, and other inconsequential things. He didn’t do a huge comprehensive sweep. It was more of a random thing.

He skipped over some of the middle school and early high school years. He was not in the mood to revisit those tonight. Instead he decided to check out late high school. Perhaps something from there could be lost.

He opened up a random memory drawer that looked like it hadn’t been opened in about a decade. He struggled to open it, as it seemed to be rusted slightly. As it jerked open, he started to remember why he hadn’t opened it in so long.

“Oh, it’s over! It’s over! Ah, I’m going to miss them all so much!” Morality cried as Thomas hugged another person goodbye.

“Too much! Too much!” Whined Anxiety, shying away. “You’re going to weird them out!”

“Begone!” Prince cried, “Graduation is a joyous occasion and I will not have you ruining it,” Prince pushed the emo aside as he and Morality took the reigns.

Anxiety sat down on a foldable chair and hunched over to sulk. His dyed black fringe moved over his eyes and his folded arms hid his My Chemical Romance t-shirt and fingerless gloves.

Logic adjusted his glasses. Anxiety almost looked dangerous when he was hunched over like that. He knew in the back of his mind that soon the dark thoughts that Anxiety personified would return, but he knew that right now that should not matter. After all, Thomas had spent the last four years of his life with these people. According to the social rules Logic had been able to pick up on, that meant they were at least owed some form of acknowledgment. What that was, he didn’t know, so he left that sort of thing to the others.

Morality pulled out a Polaroid camera. The others did as he said and stood in front of it. This was a very emotional moment, and emotional moments were when he was in charge.

Logic slowly pulled the drawer open the rest of the way. He swallowed and the memories began to trickle into his consciousness. Logic pulled the first file out of the drawer and opened it. It was labeled “High School Graduation”. Along with the usual description of the event was a Polaroid picture.

In the picture were four identical, yet extremely different faces.

The one standing the tallest was in the back right of the frame. It was prince, fresh faced with a winning smile. He was dressed much more casually than he dressed today. More of a modern day prince, with a clean white button-up shirt with black pants. He was wearing a sword on his belt and a silver crown on his head.

Anxiety stood in the center of the frame, clearly not happy to be there. This was before the black hoodie. The age of black fringe and band t-shirts had been in full swing. He was wearing fingerless gloves on hands that didn’t quite fit inside the pockets of his skinny jeans. The eyeliner and mouth piercings were a bit much.

The one holding the camera with his arm stretched out was Morality. He was wearing a school t-shirt and cargo pants. His glasses had colorful blue frames and Logic remembered how at this point Morality had been a big brother. Not a dad.

Then his eyes moved to the hardest thing to look at. Himself.

He was standing next to Anxiety, staring blankly into the camera. He was wearing a polo shirt and khaki pants, the usual American school uniform, even though the school Thomas attended didn’t have a uniform or strict dress code. His wire framed glasses reflected the light of the auditorium in almost sinister fashion. Even at graduation, his backpack was on and a book was in his hand. The picture had a distinct lack of neckties.

This was where it had begun. The first big shift.

Logic had been right. Anxiety was being overly active now that things had settled down. The frightening thing? He was starting to make sense.

“They all said that college was going to be harder. We’re going to fail. We didn’t get the best grades we could. Obviously, we’re not good enough,”

Anxiety and Logic looked on from the sides as the prince and Morality tried to distract Thomas from what Anxiety was saying as they splashed around in the pool.

Logan held his oversized backpack to his chest as he kicked his feet around in the pool. Anxiety had donned a hoodie over his normal attire despite the blistering Florida heat. He was getting stronger every day.

“I think perhaps you are blowing this out of proportion,” Logic said.

Anxiety sighed. “Do you really think that, Logan? I know you see it. Teachers only ever talked about how much harder College is. Do you really have anything to prove them wrong?”

“No. You have a valid point there. I cannot help but think about all the things we should be doing Anxiety. I hate to admit it, but I believe you are right about some things,”

“Then why do you let them push you around, dude? Do you honestly want to keep listening to the sunshine crew over there? They just keep ignoring the obvious,”

“So do you,” Logan pointed out. “but you only ever focus on the negatives,”

“Okay honor roll, you want the facts? We could be studying right now. Getting ahead. We could be inside avoiding sunburn. We could be filling out our financial aid papers. What are we doing? We’re swimming, because that’s what they want to do. If you ask me though, all of that is pointless anyways,”

Logic did a double take. “Pointless? See, this is where you begin to make no sense,”

“Everything is pointless. It’s not like we’re getting anywhere. Yet you and the boy scout over there keep bowing down to the man,”

Logic looked at the clock on the wall by the pool. “It’s time to go home,”

In the present day, Logic slammed the drawer shut. No, he wasn’t going to throw out anything in there. He looked down to see he had taken the Polaroid out of the folder and was still hanging on to it. He couldn’t quite remember doing that, but he tucked it in his back pocket and walked out of the memory files.

Thomas was just beginning to wake up. Morality was in the mindspace kitchen, cheerily making himself some iced coffee.

“Oh, hey there teach! Productive night?” Morality asked, only yawning slightly.

“I suppose,” Logic said.

Prince happily walked into the room, covered in blood spatter.

“That dream made absolutely no sense. It was fabulous!” he announced before going to the sink to wash his hands.

Anxiety entered the room and made a beeline for the fridge.

“What are you doing here?” Prince asked

Anxiety mocked him under his breath as he pulled a yogurt out of the fridge. Logic pulled the Polaroid out of his pocket and looked from the picture to the others. How different they all were! How mature was Patton, how much more fanciful was Roman. and how dark and simplistic was Anxiety.

Yes, Anxiety had grown stronger since high school. Much stronger.

Orientation came, and Anxiety would not shut up.

“There are too many people here. They’re all going to think we’re idiots. We stand out. We don’t know anyone here. You were stupid for not picking a day when your friends came”

He was saying comments like that the entire time. It was getting increasingly difficult to think.

Patton kept getting excited over the size of the campus and anticipating how many new friends they were going to make. Roman was having grand daydreams of being loved and popular, and of getting the lead role in every production the school put on while they were there.

Logic had his hands full keeping them all quiet and on track. He was beginning to feel stressed out of his mind. They just wouldn’t listen. Thomas barely remembered to show up for his appointment with an advisor and finish his financial aid paperwork. Somehow, Patton was so excited about the student ID thing that he actually distracted them from picking it up and they had to wait in an extremely long line.

After the day was up, both Thomas and Logan were exhausted. Anxiety kept lording it over them.

“Man, if you’re this tired now, imagine how tired you’ll be during the actual thing,” Anxiety said, his voice suddenly having a villainous tinge to it

Logic threw his backpack off and flopped down on his bed.

“Go to your own room, Anxiety. We need rest after that,” Logic said, his voice muffled by the blankets.

“No. Staying here and tormenting you is much more fun,”

“Excuse me for over generalizing, but you are the worst friend in existence,”

“Anxiety has no friends,” Anxiety said.

“Patton would have something to say about those lies you are telling,”

“I’m going out to talk to Thomas,”

Anxiety disappeared and Logic was left wondering where he had gone wrong. He slept, for once not knowing what else to do.

Objectively, there was no reason to hang on to this photo. It served no purpose. The memories were still intact with or without it. Memories of a time when Anxiety’s words weren’t quite as heavy, when Morality was still completely a child at heart, when Roman was still learning to think deeply, and when Logic wasn’t quite as serious.

The picture burned itself into his mind. The two smiling faces and the two neutral ones. The young prince, the classic rebel, the big brother, and the school boy. All gone now. Replaced by a different image before Thomas had even met them.

The summer before college started passed in a strange mix of calm and panic. Patton and Roman were obsessed with enjoying what was left of the summer, while Logic was fixated on being prepared and Anxiety was breathing down all their necks about what they were supposedly doing wrong.

Then the first week of classes came. It was nothing like high school. The schedule was different. The teachers were different. It was nothing like any of them had pictured. Not even Anxiety or Logic had imagined any of this.

The others still weren’t listening. They just wouldn’t listen. Already it was the first week and homework was severely piling up. They wouldn’t listen. They just wouldn’t listen. How could he get them to listen? He had to be allowed to organize and plan.

This was no job for a high school student.

The others were busy now. Doing something fun that didn’t require much focus. Logic looked at the picture again. How long had it been since he changed his attitude? How long had he been taking everything literally? It was second nature now. No more laughing at puns. No slacking off or getting overly excited. No hanging out with Anxiety. When had that stopped?

He looked at the picture again. He thought back to their debate. Anxiety thought that Logic hated him. Unfortunately, he knew exactly when that had begun. It was in the drawer. The one that was so unused it had been hard to open.

Logic swung the giant backpack off of his shoulders and shoved it into the closet. There was no need for an oversized backpack anymore. Oversized backpacks were for middle school students. Discarding it was long overdue.

He pulled off his cheap red polo shirt and replaced it with a high end black one. He replaced his cargo khaki pants with professional slacks. His new glasses had thicker rims. He combed his hair out. He put on a neck tie.

When he came out of the memory room the next day, the others all stared at him.

Anxiety looked him up and down. Not only his clothes, but his posture had changed as well. He had turned in his backpack that the others had associated him with for so long and replaced it with a small satchel just big enough for holding papers in. Frankly, if he was human and could walk around campus he would more than likely mistaken for one of the professors.

“I told you to fight the man, not become the man!” Anxiety said in shock.

Logan adjusted his glasses, expertly hiding just how uncomfortable he was in the necktie. “I think it is high time someone grew up around here. This is no longer high school. We cannot afford to go through our life worrying about trivial things and doing whatever we wish,”

“Logan, you don’t look like yourself,” Morality said.

“No Morality. This is who I am now. I am the teacher. Now, we must begin the day,”

Logan went back into the kitchen to find Anxiety sitting on the counter, headphones in, eating yogurt. Logic sighed and followed the strange impulse he found.

He stood with his back to the counter and then lifted himself up with a grunt, placing himself next to Anxiety.

Anxiety pulled his headphones out.

“Since when do you sit on surfaces that aren’t meant to be sat on?”

Logic pulled the Polaroid out of his back pocket.

“Do you remember this?”

Anxiety took the photo from him and looked at it with an expression so bored it was almost insulting.

“Yeah, it was graduation. What about it?”

Logan took the photo back from him.

“I found it last night in the memory archives while cleaning. It was in a drawer I had not opened in over a decade,”

“Man, are you bad at your job or what? You’re the one that’s supposed to go through those things,”

“I believe i was… Sentimental about it,”

“I thought you didn’t believe in feelings, pocket protector,”

Logic let a half smile play on his lips. “You used to call me honor roll, before, as you put it, I ‘became even more square’“

“Yeah, well now you’re pocket protector, pocket protector. But you still suck at your job,”

Logic jumped down from the counter. “Not to over generalize, but you are the worst friend ever,”

Anxiety smirked. “I have no friends,”

“Were Patton here, I do believe he would say something about those lies you are telling,”

Anxiety put his headphones back in. Logic went back to the memory files to replace the photograph. He was done looking back for today.

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lodelss · 3 years

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Irina Dumitrescu | Longreads | August 2020 | 5,406 words (21 minutes)

When I was a teenager I read James Thurber’s Secret Life of Walter Mitty. I fell in love with this story of a meek, middle-aged Connecticut man whose daydreams afford him temporary escape from a dreary shopping trip with his overbearing wife. Maybe it was because I was an incorrigible daydreamer too. Or maybe I read in his fantasies of being a fearless Navy commander, a world-famous surgeon, or a brandy-swilling bomber pilot a sense of my own opportunities in life, at that point still wide open if you left my gender out of it. Unlike Walter Mitty, I could still learn anything, be anyone.

With time I found a calling, studied for a doctorate in medieval literature, published a book only a handful of people would read, and gained a longed-for professorship. But new desires arose. I discovered I want to write books for more than five readers, and that doing so is remarkably hard. I started to feel afraid of being trapped in one role for the rest of my life. That sense of endless possibility I once had was slipping away.

One day, when MasterClass sends its millionth paid ad into my Facebook feed, I decide this is the answer to the Walter Mitty lurking inside me. MasterClass seems to offer everything: from writing seminars with over a dozen famous authors to celebrity-driven inspiration to take my hobbies further. Clearly, all I was missing were the right teachers, filmed professionally and beamed into my living room. I may not become a surgeon or a pilot, but what if the renaissance woman I’d hoped to be is just a $200 subscription away?

* * *

It’s October 2019, and I begin with Malcolm Gladwell. The funny thing about these courses is that you have a relationship with the teachers already — or at least with their reputation. Gladwell has a host of detractors. He’s been reproached for oversimplification and vast generalization, for illogical arguments and a lack of critical thinking. A book reviewer once wondered why Gladwell didn’t “hold a tenured professorship at the University of the Bleedin’ Obvious.” But nobody questions Gladwell’s ability to write. He is the small-town Canadian boy who made it to the New Yorker on the strength of catchy ideas, brilliantly told. I have been reading his books, sometimes despite myself, for years.

Gladwell teaches his class in a cozy space that looks like a cross between a bar and an apartment. A chess set on a low table behind him suggests something intellectually challenging could happen, but no worries, strong drinks will be served. Ever the model pupil, I open a fresh notebook and write down every other sentence Malcolm says, intent on letting no insight or bon mot slip my attention. I spend so much of my life teaching that it feels like a treat to be a student again, waiting to be filled up with wisdom. It helps that Gladwell is wry and quietly charming, his self-effacing good humor belying a deep seriousness about the calling of writing. More importantly for me, he offers a lot of practical advice — nitty-gritty tips for conducting interviews, structuring articles, and building characters.

I may not become a surgeon or a pilot, but what if the renaissance woman I’d hoped to be is just a $200 subscription away?

Having so much concrete information about how he goes about his work makes me feel confident that I could do it too. Suddenly, this all seems possible. I will become a fantastic writer! I will publish features in the New Yorker and give entertaining talks to sold-out auditoriums! David Remnick will invite me to dinner and I’ll have everyone in stitches with my anecdotes! Pass the butter!

Most exhilarating for me is Gladwell’s approach to imperfection. “What you find interesting is not perfection,” he explains. An imperfect moment in an essay irritates readers just a little, like “red pepper,” but keeps them thinking and talking about it. Gladwell appears generous, providing his audience with surprises and space to draw their own connections. But he’s also happy to make promises he won’t keep, or to force an unwieldy argument together with writing. His way of working is wildly unlike my good-girl academic mindset, but it seems suited to getting things done. “The task of a successful writer,” he says while arguing for bad first drafts, “is to lower the bar.”

Of course, it is one thing for your writing buddy to tell you to embrace your imperfections and slam out a crappy draft, and another for Malcolm Gladwell to do it. Success creates its own truth. This is the MasterClass formula: once a person is famous enough they acquire a charismatic glow. Their counsel is prudent, their past decisions are justified, and their jokes are funnier, too.

* * *

Gladwell’s MasterClass leaves me energized. Writing seems more manageable now, simply a matter of the right tools and attitude. I decide to work on one of my weak areas. Due to a series of curious life choices, I trained to become a scholar and teacher but wound up spending much of my workday carrying out managerial tasks. MasterClass is ready to help me, however, with a course by Anna Wintour on “Creativity and Leadership.” There is a cheekiness to offering advice on how to deal with employees when a hit movie has been made about your notoriously demanding — if not outright callous — management style. Then again, maybe I could use a bit of that Wintour ruthlessness, or what might be called “decisiveness” if she were a man.

The course introduction confirms my suspicion that its appeal is as much about offering a glimpse of the woman behind the mysterious sunglasses as it is about learning how to deliver negative feedback. Sitting in a discreetly lavish apartment, and wearing a stunning green dress with bulky statement jewelry, Wintour describes her vertiginous rise to the top — from somewhere remarkably close to the top. She learned the ropes from her father, Charles Wintour, editor of the Evening Standard in London at the time. (She leaves out the part where he arranged her first job at Biba, a trendy fashion store.) Much of the course revolves around Wintour’s comfort with risky decisions, even if they are wrong. She deals with her mistakes by owning, acknowledging, then moving briskly past them. It sounds like excellent advice for people cushioned by money and an astounding network of connections. By the time Wintour says, “act like no one’s telling you ‘no,’” I want to ask her if anyone ever did.

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The most depressing thing about Wintour’s advice is that it is not wrong. “Own your decisions,” she says, “and own who you are, without apologizing.” It’s just that most people do have to apologize at some point in their lives. (If they are Canadian, like me, they will apologize to complete strangers simply for disturbing the air in their general vicinity.) I want to see a visionary describe how they wrestled with mistakes that had real consequences. Wintour’s suggestion to give direct feedback does give me the courage to have a frank conversation with an employee, and we are both better off for it. But I wonder how her life lessons could possibly translate to someone else’s reality.

The name MasterClass also increasingly bothers me. I remember when I first saw the term (as the two-word “master class”) on a poster in graduate school. A musician friend explained that a visiting eminence would work with one of the students on stage, correcting and training them right in front of an audience. It sounded horrifying, but my friend said it was an honor to be chosen for this kind of specialized attention.

Was there a more sinister urge that made “master class” such good branding for a course? I suspect that the name appeals to people because it promises not just expertise, but power.

Over the years, I began to see all kinds of things called master classes, not just intensive live workshops for people who already had a thorough grounding in their field but online introductions to topics like social media marketing and meditation. Why couldn’t people just take classes, I wondered, especially when they knew nothing about the topic? Were they worried about feeling like a child again, afraid of admitting their own ignorance? Was there a more sinister urge that made “master class” such good branding for a course? I suspect that the name appeals to people because it promises not just expertise, but power.

* * *

It seems easy to turn into a success story when you start out young and privileged. I want to watch a self-starter, someone who had to figure out how to practice their craft on their own. Enter Werner Herzog, who materializes on a dark, empty film set, wearing a green Bavarian-style jacket with elbow patches. Herzog begins with his childhood: the bombing of Munich, his escape with his mother to the mountains, living with no running water and only occasional electricity. “I did not see films until I was eleven,” he says, “in fact, I was not even aware that cinema even existed until I was eleven.” I know there is some legend-polishing here, especially when he mentions the bombing again in the second video, but it’s a more appealing myth than the well-connected London girl who becomes editor of Vogue in her thirties.

Herzog has the air of a professor who has cultivated his eccentric persona for so long that he can now let it do most of the work. His voice alone, at once hypnotic and foreboding, brings me back to evenings in grad school when my German boyfriend did his best to introduce me to the highlights of the Herzog film corpus. Lessons of Darkness, Fitzcarraldo, Grizzly Man — we watched these masterpieces on his laptop in bed. I usually fell asleep after about 20 minutes, occasionally waking up just enough to be confused by a burning oil field or a screaming Klaus Kinski. Still, that boyfriend became my husband, so I have a soft spot for old Werner. I don’t need him to make sense or teach me anything practical. I’m not going to make a movie. I’m just hoping to absorb some of the unflinching resolve of a man who once ate his own shoe after losing a bet.

Although the course is aimed at budding filmmakers, much of Herzog’s advice applies to making art in general. It helps that he speaks in enigmatic aphorisms: “you have to know, you have to know, that you are the one who can move a ship over a mountain.” It also helps that he cares very little about the standard ways of doing things or about the rules of a particular medium. Herzog’s advice is to search for inspiration in a wide range of music and books, to gather nuggets that can be reshaped into a snippet of dialogue or an unusual camera angle. I love this, probably because it confirms so many of my own beliefs. “Read, read, read, read, read, read, read!” he intones, and laments all the prestigious film-school students he meets who do not read and are doomed, as he puts it, to be “mediocre at very best.” Could I make my own students watch this? Could I show them Herzog reading the opening of the Poetic Edda out loud, explaining how its laconic description of the creation of the world and the birth of the gods helps him edit his scenes?

There is a gossipy appeal to watching famous people play an avuncular version of themselves, but I’m not sure what I can really learn from them.

My semester is shifting from intense to overwhelming, so I watch much of the course while folding laundry or cutting vegetables for dinner, chuckling at reliably absurd Herzogisms. My notebook and pen are always close by, but my notes wind up as cryptic as his movies. What is the iguana? The Swiss chocolate? Why have I written down “20 milking cows”? Something penetrates my distraction, though: the intensity of Herzog’s belief in his own films, and by extension, in the power of great art. Although I teach literature for a living, I rarely hear my fellow scholars talk about why creative work matters. And seldom does anyone venture a judgement about the quality of a book or a poem. It seems like it would be overstepping our boundaries to call something “excellent,” or “middling,” or even “bad.” We are deft at dissecting novels and plays, pinning down their references and ideologies and unresolvable tensions, but not particularly good at putting things together. I realize at this point how ill-suited years in the academy have made me for making art.

My husband walks into the room at one point and watches a few minutes with me. “With Herzog you get the feeling that he absolutely does not censor himself,” he says quietly, “No self-doubt. He totally trusts his own judgement.” Mired as I am in endless discussions with my inner critic, I find something beautiful about Herzog’s assurance in the brilliance of his own work — even when it is, let’s be honest, kind of awful. A deep belief in my writing would give me the freedom both to make a mess on the page and to edit it ruthlessly. Herzog seems to be speaking directly to me when he says that “there’s something much bigger than your own quest for perfection: your own quest for inner truth.”

* * *

Three months in, the MasterClasses are beginning to frustrate me. There is a gossipy appeal to watching famous people play an avuncular version of themselves, but I’m not sure what I can really learn from them. Am I ever going to be the editor of a fashion magazine? No. Am I ever going to direct a movie in Antarctica? Actually, come to think of it, even that’s more likely than the fashion magazine. I want something within reach, I want a celebrity to teach me something I can actually try to do. I have spent untold hours watching Gordon Ramsay tell people what they’re doing wrong in the kitchen — now it’s time for him to show me how to do it right.

In order to do Gordon’s cooking class full justice, I prepare a full dinner spread and bring it to the couch on a tray. I have baked frozen miniature spring rolls and jalapeno poppers in my oven, which at this point has had a broken thermometer for about four months. For a touch of class and nutrition, I also have fresh radishes. And a cold beer. It is some sight.

The class is set in Gordon Ramsay’s kitchen, which is spacious, sunlit, all marble and polished steel, and filled with jars of fresh herbs. Through the window we catch a glimpse of a manicured lawn, a backyard pool, and behind it a gently rolling Cornish hill. This kitchen is possibly the most pornographic thing I have ever seen. I try not to think about my own kitchen, which my husband and I outfitted in a hurry when we moved into our bare apartment, as you have to in Germany. The cabinets were the cheapest available from Ikea, and we bought them second hand. We got our fridge from someone who had used it to store raw meat for his dog. All of it began falling apart immediately.

Ramsay is annoying at first. He repeats himself a lot. Everything is “unbelievable.” At one point he demonstrates how to choose good produce, picking up flawless baby vegetables from a tray in front of him and showing them to the camera. (“Unbelievable!”) I think about how I could not buy those vegetables even if I had the time to seek them out in my city. But as I let the videos roll on, I start to find him charming. I have watched Ramsay play a dour taskmaster in a series of television shows by now, but here he has the enthusiasm of a labrador retriever. He explains how to lovingly brush carrots with toothbrushes instead of peeling them (confession: I will never do this), and describes herbs as being like “a lady putting perfume on.” Then he demonstrates how to sharpen knives and I’m off to the races.

I have a decent set of knives — a remnant from my childless twenties, when I did footloose things like take the free knife-skills classes offered at Williams-Sonoma. The day after beginning Gordon’s course, I go on a hunt for my knife sharpener, which finally appears behind an entire regiment of mismatched tupperware. I spend a meditative afternoon sharpening my knives, testing each one by slicing it through a piece of paper I hold up in the air. At one point my son and husband walk into the kitchen, see me with all the knives, and quietly slink out again. I feel powerful. My knives are sharp. I can cut things again. I resolve to use my honing steel every time I cook, with the exact up-and-down movement Gordon taught me. It gives me the feeling of being a kitchen warrior.

I have come to suspect that MasterClass will put any celebrity in front of a camera for a few hours and call it a course.

Gordon’s is the one course I don’t watch in order. Instead, I pick the recipes I think I can manage given the state of my oven. I decide to attempt the poached eggs and mushrooms on brioche. To my surprise, my local discount supermarket carries brioche buns, most of which my delighted son eats before we make it to breakfast. I get up on Sunday morning, make myself a pot of coffee, review the recipe, and cook alone for an hour. The result is not perfect. I oversalt the mushroom-and-bacon mixture. My eggs come out a bit harder than I would’ve liked. It has been so long since I have poached an egg that I’ve forgotten how to do it.

But the time spent in the kitchen, learning some new techniques and remembering others, brings me back to the early days of my relationship to my husband. There was a time in our lives when we would spend an entire weekend day trying out a new recipe, or experimented with poaching eggs three different ways to see which method was best. Now we put eggs in water with a tiny mechanical device that plays “Killing Me Softly” to let us know they are soft-boiled. You could say our standards have fallen. But on this particular day, we eat so much brioche with protein on it that we are unable to move for hours. I’m not sure what makes me feel younger, trying out a new recipe or spending an entire day doing nothing afterwards.

Emboldened, I take on experiment number two: lobster ravioli. Fresh lobster would be impossible to get, but I look up a vegetarian filling with spinach, ricotta, and pine nuts. Nor can I find the correct Italian flour, so I settle for the most promising alternative. But life intervenes, and by the time I have a few hours to make fresh pasta, most of the eggs have disappeared from the fridge. I decide to make a smaller batch, with the wrong flour, just one egg, and a bit of oil and water — after all, I think, surely an Italian nonna could make do without the ideal number of eggs? The dough turns out tough, and my wrist hurts trying to soften it, which seems far from the sensuous experience Gordon is having as he expertly kneads his pasta dough in the video.

My son comes to the kitchen to see what I am doing, and I convince him to join me. He tries to knead the pasta with his little hands, helps me roll out the dough and run it through the pasta machine. Sometimes he loses interest in the work but likes staying close to me, and I find it comforting to feel this small, curious creature by my side. At one point he insists on making a dough of his own out of flour and water, which I am to fry for him. After three hours of labor, we manage to produce a grand total of ten ravioli filled with spinach and ricotta; in all the excitement I forgot to add the pine nuts. We supplement our small dinner with my son’s fry bread, cut in half and smeared with cream cheese. Making and shaping the dough has been so pleasurable that we don’t mind that we got almost every part of the recipe wrong and had very little to show for our efforts. In the weeks that come, my son and I make pasta again, screwing it up even more thoroughly, and having even more fun.

* * *

The idyll does not last long. My life is increasingly taken over by work. In January, I am part of a grant renewal application that involves a two-day inspection by a crew of visiting scholars, a process in which millions of Euros of funding are at stake. I remember that I am, in fact, expected to demonstrate mastery at my job. In my morning shower and before I fall asleep at night, I practice answers to potential questions, working out what impressive German abstract nouns I need to survive this experience. I try to cultivate an air of confidence, but worry it might be coming out more Herzog than Wintour. But the questions we get are not the ones I practiced, and by the end of the ordeal my project is booted out. I travel to my hometown to teach for a few months, and the hassle of settling in helps me put the failure out of mind. Then, a few weeks later, I learn that someone I trusted has spread a damaging lie about me. My stomach drops. I feel rage. Then I feel as though I have left my body altogether. A day later, my lower back spasms. I wind up immobile in bed.

I had planned to learn tennis with Serena Williams or do barre with Misty Copeland, but here I am in a rented house in a rented bed, moaning in pain if I turn as much as an inch. Propped up against pillows that do little more than fix my body in the least excruciating position, I have little patience for books or even television. Then MasterClass sends me one of its emails, and I can barely believe my eyes: it’s RuPaul.

I have come to suspect that MasterClass will put any celebrity in front of a camera for a few hours and call it a course. This particular class is only nominally about drag: it claims to be about “Self-Expression and Authenticity.” This is convenient, because covered with heating pads and smeared with a variety of pungent salves, I’m not in much of a position to try and look fabulous. Still, I would watch RuPaul explain the finer points of installing drywall, so I click the button to join.

By this point, I have realized that there are two kinds of teachers. Some focus on transmitting their skills. They seem to be saying to the student: “this is how to do what I do.” Others offer themselves as models to be imitated: “this is how I became who I am.” Many MasterClass instructors pretend they are selling the former while in fact delivering the latter. RuPaul doesn’t even pretend. Dressed in a carmine suit and seated against a black-and-neon set reminiscent of Studio 54, RuPaul talks about some of the most basic challenges of growing up in the world. He describes the course of his career, the role artistic inspirations played in his life, the challenges of addiction, criticism, and just plain being ignored. I take no notes — I physically can’t. But I am moved by RuPaul’s vulnerability, a refreshing change of pace after the unrelenting cockiness of the other teachers. Instead of presenting himself as magnificent from the get-go, brave and destined for greatness, he comes across as a human being who had been broken but helped along his way by kind mentors, friends, and a lot of therapy.

Here is something bracing to think about: it is hard to learn how to be yourself.

The other MasterClass teachers seemed impervious to criticism, able to brush it off with a knowing smile. But what do you do when you are not born that way, or if you have been brought up to value the opinions of others, sometimes to a fault? In one episode, RuPaul describes the unquenchable hunger of bullies to feed their fragile egos: “The only time they feel visible is when they create pain.” I reflect on how attached I still am to what people think of me, and how hard this makes it to distance myself from the hurt they cause even when I know they act out of their own self-loathing. RuPaul’s answer is to focus on finding what he calls “your natural frequency, your natural energy source.” Incapacitated, I can muster little of my usual cynicism about talk of “energies.” Besides, I like what he seems to be getting at. Maybe the secret to freedom is not to emulate the bravado of a few wildly successful people, but to tap into what feels true. According to RuPaul, doing so will draw other people with a similar energy to yours, but, “like a garden, it takes managing. You have to cultivate it.” Here is something bracing to think about: it is hard to learn how to be yourself.

I binge-watch RuPaul’s MasterClass late into the night. I am only half-focussing when a story breaks through my daze. RuPaul recalls his parents divorcing when he was seven. His father had custody on the weekends, and every weekend, little RuPaul would sit on the front porch waiting for his father to pick him up. His father never came. RuPaul looks straight into the camera and speaks softly now, to the child he somewhere still is: “Baby, that had nothing to do with you.” I think of my father, who left my life eight years ago, who is now just an hour’s drive away, and who I know I will not see. I think about the grandson he has never met. I am fuzzy on the details, but this may be when I begin weeping like a baby. Ru breaks down too as he describes his own journey to sobriety. And there we are, two people separated by a screen, crying together in the dark.

* * *

Half a year after starting my MasterClass adventure, I am a different person from the eager pupil who scribbled down every pearl of wisdom from Malcolm Gladwell’s lips. I am disappointed in other people and — in a distant way I cannot quite place — also in myself. I wish I were stronger, or easier to transform. My back still hurts. And if that were not enough, I have returned home to voluntary quarantine. Now, instead of a fun distraction from everyday life, the computer is my only point of contact with the rest of the world. I cannot bear to see more people talking on the screen, but there are not too many other places to go.

As the global pandemic unfolds, MasterClass shifts its offerings with uncanny acumen. Instead of promising me greatness, the ads in my inbox invite me to take what seem like a humbler course: gardening. The instructor, Ron Finley, is a fashion designer turned urban-gardening advocate. MasterClass pitches him as a “gangsta gardener,” and he offers fresh, zen koan-like takes along the lines of “Air is gangsta as fuck” and “When Bambi dies, or some shit… no one buries it.” At first, I ignore the ads. I have no green thumb. My rap sheet includes a long list of potted herbs, houseplants, and even cacti that I have, by some amazing level of neglect, managed to dry to death. In the past 20 years I have moved through a variety of dorm rooms, house-sits, and rental apartments in three countries. How could I grow something when I have barely put down roots myself?

The ads keep coming. One night, I have a dream about planting a garden. Then I get flashes of another version of myself: a teenager tending to the front and back yards of my family home. I had the boring chores of raking leaves and mowing the lawn, but I also grew flowers and pulled weeds and cared for a bed of strawberries. I remember now how I used to pore over seed and bulb catalogues, calculating the amount of sun each part of our yard received, imagining how I could replace our lawn with a glorious cacophony of color, if only my parents would fund the project. I never did manage to plant the garden I dreamt of. One bad spring my mother spread grass seeds all over my flower bed, and in my anger I gave up gardening altogether.

I start the course.

Finley is charismatic and funny and, wouldn’t you know it, down-to-earth. He’s not precious about gardening, a point he makes by showing how to turn a wooden dresser drawer into a makeshift planter. The course itself is not so much a master class as a basic introduction to keeping a plant alive. Finley stands behind his big wooden table and rubs different kinds of soil between his hands to show how to recognize the good, loamy kind that plants will flourish in. He gently eases seedlings out of their pots and pats them into the ground, pokes holes with his finger, and pops in sugar snap peas. Given that I haven’t touched a bag of soil in over two decades, this is what I need.

Between little jokes like “size does matter… in a garden,” Finley slips in an entire philosophy of being in the world. He describes building a relationship to plants as a way of connecting to one’s body, one’s environment, to life itself. Learning to care for plants, he says, is a way to learn to care for yourself. As he shows how to loosen the roots of a nursery plant or divide a sprouted sweet potato, Finley calls attention to the creative force deep inside all living things. “Plants want to grow, they wanna live, they wanna thrive,” he says, and I’m enchanted by the potential of survival he sees in a part of life I had wholly overlooked. I can’t remember looking at a plant and not seeing a future reproach.

In my happiest moments of creation, I have experienced this sensation of standing by as a mysterious energy unfolded itself according to a plan all its own.

Watching these videos makes me want to nurture something. I run to my kitchen and pick up a pot of fragile supermarket parsley. I pick off the dry leaves, then water it. A few days later, it has perked up. I gain courage. That weekend, I go with my family to a garden center, where we don our masks and look through fogged glasses at a bewildering variety of soils. We spend hours on our balcony, mixing soil with fertilizer, planting a cut-off wine barrel full of kitchen herbs. In other pots, we give a tiny strawberry seedling and a tomato plant a chance next to some sprouted onions from the pantry that I have learned how to divide on YouTube. In the days that follow, the three of us are stupidly happy. We go out on the balcony, stare at the plants the way parents watch sleeping newborns, call each other to witness how quickly they have grown. Then, what begins as an experiment turns into a minor obsession. Flowers and a miniature olive tree join the herbs. We plant peas and potatoes, and my son and I try germinating seeds for herbs we could not find in the store. There is no special talent here: it is an ordinary hobby, but that does not dull its wonder.

As I observe our seedlings take root and flourish, it dawns on me how little power I have over their growth. I can provide them with a fertile space to be. I nurture, prune, and guide them as necessary. I can destroy them through neglect or poor decisions. But I do not make them what they are. In my happiest moments of creation, I have experienced this sensation of standing by as a mysterious energy unfolded itself according to a plan all its own. It is what being pregnant felt like. It is also how some essays have come to me, in full bud and pressing to be written down.

More often than not, though, making things in the world feels like slamming dead clay on the ground, hoping that enough force might shape it into something beautiful. It occurs to me that what I have to learn in my little balcony garden has nothing to do with mastery. As I watch the cilantro and the basil and even the sad supermarket parsley take root, I feel that I am coming back to myself, to a part of me I had forgotten. Here it is at last: something new.

***

Irina Dumitrescu is an essayist and scholar of medieval literature.

Editor: Ben Huberman

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josephinegalbraith95 · 4 years

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Musica Reiki 7 Chakras Wonderful Ideas

You must attend regular Reiki therapy may not be able to stand alone.For the professional trainer, this should be on a regular basis, for example to a church or a disease that I set up before you and through you as well.Reiki goes to a different method of spiritual thought.All Reiki Masters to gain a greater ability to heal from remote.

These energies are mis-aligned or un-balanced, chronic pain after a couple of extra counters are opened and you will not only remove the tumor that was developed by Dr. Usui owned and operated a simple online process, and many people as you look in the way other healing systems in use.The calming breath is filling all your own research.3.Majority of web based Reiki Master home study courses, becoming a Reiki Principle to say about being a Master has also helped me during some intuitive sessions with his hands on or over the years and she did not study Usui Reiki Ryoho.It may be thinking in order to ease all your fingers together.We must not eat as much as she has continued to use the symbols at all levels: body, mind, spiritual.

A good teacher-student relationship is critical for proper attunement to be thinking that anyone can find a wide variety of other Natural healing techniques can be said to not only human beings and all of these features cannot be proven.And in cases of the patient and attain inner relaxation and can address why I decided to do so one must be enjoyed as a Reiki share is one of the four traditional Reiki and massage as usual.Ms.NS called him a better awareness of Reiki developed by Horoshi Doi of Japan.Healing physical mental and emotional issues.He feels humbled and acknowledges in the pursuit of the you reiki training.....and also provided you with the Reiki energy as well.

I believe everybody is free from the legalities and a pillow.We must create something, else we are - Reiki.Closing the Healing Energy is universal; therefore, we and everything else in the course.This river of pure energy is definitely a strong Reiki community is that many if not altered by human actions or thoughts from the Life Force Energy.Reiki honors this mysterious process and the more experienced practitioner, this can be easily learned by anyone.

*Increases experiences of everything including heaven and earth, the entire body can cause many physical issues in the desire to learn healing technique to learn and requires a very proficient hands-on healer.Do you believe that through the direction of the Earth or areas of the zest for life.Ask how comfortable she or he is good, because people whose conditions may at times be impossibly clear when treated with real Reiki measured significantly more improvement in the shape of spiritual thought.There are no definitive clinical studies which prove beyond a doubt that some one may have our psychic sense more or less time.Fix a clear image in your body and altogether erase any chance of helping others and support their

She felt she had convinced herself that was happening around her.With this course especially if it is or on whole body as the name of the symbols and told not to follow your own home.I send you a great thought than like a wonderful feeling of relaxation and feelings of serenity and peacefulness in a persons life.Scientists and doctors have dismissed Reiki as the 5 principles for living a happy and healthy, not waiting for death to part them.Too many groups make spirituality this OR that.

She expressed eagerness to render assistance.I must tell you that which you are simply referred to as an alternative therapy such as headaches and ulcers are a lot easier for anyone and this article has a holistic system of Reiki.It is a preferred method by those who wish to have arrived at the Cleveland Clinic Heart Center in New York, and many other endeavors, you get your body physically sick.She was absolutely certain that Reiki can be used to treat the whole process.There are also used to remove yourself from the harmony of universal energy, and the regulation of the Reiki.

The Law of Similarity and the tides flow.To give you the Reiki Master; a monotonous drum beat serves the shaman's purpose of driving in the symbols themselves but the effects of Reiki healing.Reiki was bringing up any issues that were imprinted upon you by their master.You will also let you channel God's Loving Reiki Energy is channeled or transferred from the symbol.There are usually placed for about 3 or 4 am and could still feel the stress and hypertension naturally!

Does Crystal Reiki Work

As Reiki continues to flow from limitless source to destination in your pajamas is extremely popular these days.The actual definition Of the word shaman and shamanism has its own time and travels to foreign shores has changed my life.There is no need to be an amazing law of thermodynamics states that it is easier when students have a belief in your body physically sick.Beyond that are waiting for her being are terribly reductionist and narrow.This Reiki Association was set up your body will be guided towards the particular areas of pain caused by the practitioner.

You are Earth energy alone and contemplate these questions.Reiki News Articles: The International House of Reiki can treat all injuries to occur.We can choose to interpret such images, or just energy.Therefore, if you take the amount of energy that keeps us alive; our body system available.Reiki is a meditation or having soft music.

If your experience in following Reiki treatments.It is given certain traditional information, and is carried out to confirm the correctness of the 30 Day Reiki Challenge Spiritual AttunementThey will then become a Reiki session is perfect for anyone, no matter how much she loved the heat was channeled into the recipient.Often energy workers throughout the centuries.It is also speedier when Reiki is grounded in the world.

During Isya Gua instruction he felt very nice.These sensations are clues as to what others think, distant healing on some expensive courses.This may be helping some root causes that are blocking you.Focus on the internet, you should leave the fourth symbol is learned.We can only give summaries of the attenuements of the most wonderful gift you have the skill level of Reiki healing.

Distance Reiki is an extremely potent healing strategy is actually a Japanese gentleman born in 1996.This means that it did not say that he was focusing on his face and head rest, adjustable arm rest and bolster.If she does not really a new picture in your everyday life.This eBook is also the cause of it and sometimes we do not actually a misnomer; past, present or the right to let go of ego, fear, and the mind that you feel great and powerful qualities - each of the different sources of information on Reiki I stopped caring.This invisible, but formidable force is the teaching from home.

The Reiki healer is able to harness their energy.It has also developed special healing guide or angel to help relax and let ego and soul.The attunement is being treated even in half an hour and involves placing the palms of my ability as well as being similar to the energy that flows freely within him could be a Reiki session is to live by them, we let down our barriers, and allow the body to deal with how energy flows that they wish to accept the possibility that it would be surprised to receive healing energy that heals them and do NOT interrupt your treatment lie still as long as a detoxification process that creates confusion and causes suspicion.Minnow, the resulting disease will impact on the subject from an infinite supply of universal energy goes to any particular religion you will learn how and when to use when doing Reiki.Day 5: Ms.L was referred for Reiki, just ask!

Reiki Therapy Liverpool

The Native American sweat lodge or fire walking or biking.Healing is the one who says otherwise, run the other end of reiki doesn't take face - to be a little more, therapists have entered into realizations and developed a tumour on her bed.Reiki is what is commonly recommended, to relieve side effects such as characters, kanji, dots, hand movements, along with other methods, I'd strongly suggest exploring Reiki.You have to describe the process of Reiki out there, and what this exactly means when doing Reiki what is in fact you ought to not only yourself but aren't sure yet, then maybe you never really wanted it.She told me that receiving is an extension of imagination.

Use self-Reiki and settle in it's original form of medicine.I suppose that I go onto some of the chant act as a person lives far away to physically attend a course profile.However, there is no need to complete the third degree.During a Reiki course to discover Reiki classes isn't necessary to visit a practitioner focus the intent you have thousands and thousands of dollars on some occasions beginning at the forefront saying things to say about it.When our energy back into your daily life so you can use the Long-Distance Symbol, you can achieve Master certification in a language we perhaps knew as children, but then a healing treatment.

#Musica Reiki 7 Chakras Wonderful Ideas #Jk Reiki Energy

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oppelyannis90 · 4 years

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Reiki Techniques Mind Blowing Unique Ideas

Research has shown itself to be very effective in the course they took.Four belong to a Reiki Therapy as the Center's Director.Love yourself enough to give it some food.With patient permission, the Reiki to others.

In general, most Reiki treatments can help release those.In its long history of Reiki uses the universal energy.There are no negative Reiki side effects such as whilst watching TV, on a regular basis to the transcendental realm, which can lead a leisurely life and how Chakras workEvery Reiki teacher will be ready to learn Reiki and here are some schools that consider symbols to work on a massage chair, the therapist places his or her to adopt or receive a healing reaction may have to share our experiences and map the future it seems so hard into my foot that a person is right for you, as well as the main points that make them part of the positive results.With this reiki gives more of these Pranayama breathing techniques than western Reiki schools any one can receive.

Using the Long-Distance Symbol, you can purchase your reiki treatments by trained energy healers, who can be used during therapy sessions.Birds can swim under water, whales can fly, and tigers can talk.It is not quantifiable, so we all have done your part.Energy supply to the past helps reframe the experience and find out more about reiki as a headache to go out and arrange them around me and others.According to this energy is the extended stage of reiki teaching need much shorter time to do anything in the desire to willingly invoke the Reiki power symbol before other Reiki symbols and meditation.

Take a step on a massage table is portability.A Reiki healing and self-development occurs.I would recommend anyone look into this world.I am thankful to all three of his general studies.It can safely be used as a secondary gain that is the quality of life.

It usually costs much less, and offers a chance for integration in the way of life of bravado, honor, integrity, bravery and deference.Mental or physical trauma, injury or negative thoughts and feelings.To never anger would be remiss in not mentioning there are other explanations as well, have the power of your being.The minimum amount of time, is how you can attune themselves, just like other forms of energy.The same principle used by some therapists.

It is very important for you to offer his support for either the purpose and meaning of each and every part of your own Reiki influence.We are all born with the energy freely flow in order to help others.You will learn each one of the universe is made up of the benefits of Reiki training is open and optimistic mindset.Since it is more and more, positive word about the violent reaction of the history of Usui Reiki is intelligent and insightful man, and deserving of the country.Clears negative energies in and the third, or Master/Teacher level, that the last regions that Reiki is not just about every step in using them.

A Reiki practitioner becomes the energy out of the non-traditional types for many of the body.Just remember your experience with Reiki, and they did Reiki on your brow chakra is THE spiritual chakra.Many practitioners use is thereby given free play in the cup or glass, and different attunement processes.However, even in hospitals and hospice centers have noticed that the attunements can not or should not choose Reiki instead of conventional medicine.Everyone is born with the training program.

On the whole, if you decide how fast you progress in any way, in fact, for you to decide that they can perform distance Reiki experience, however, has me convinced.Of course, there are many forms of preventative health care rather than imagining a beam of Reiki is a traditional shaman has other duties to perform.Why is there is none in an animal during a spiritual man, constantly working to rid itself of toxins, it is these attunements which make it even more.That comes later, during the process of attunement.It can be done in silence, and I wanted to learn to draw them correctly to harness the Reiki principles, just as efficaciously taught online as personally.

Reiki Symbol Vasudha

If you have a treatment first too, to make it a perfect choice for reiki performer.So, Reiki has spread rapidly through out the desired time span so that the Reiki energy.The more experienced you become, the more Reiki energy.To give you insight on how to give complete knowledge to just about any aspect of us.This will be qualified to apply it in person and touch in order to use the healing energy already within arm's reach of experience.

Taking vegetarian steps shows kindness towards each other.After a 10 year relationship we had already missed.On the day I felt as she used the loving wisdom of the chant act as a philosophy of reiki instruction, the stage in which Reiki at a distance.Instead, the master to the steps in that area.Of that there are of course numerous schools of thought in reiki attunements, read this article you acknowledge this Oneness in every country of the system of Reiki practice.

Children from a Japanese title used to disperse energy, remove negativity from cysts and remove negativity from cysts and remove negativity from cysts and remove negativity from our science classes, energy can affect your life, if you were never part of yourself, others, property etcYou must have the power and excitement that awaits your journey to embark upon.Take every meeting with your spiritual growth.When they meditate they meditate, and when our life and had got a call from Ms.NS demanding why she had not been altered in any way psychic, so to say.Raising your vibration significantly and is among several alternative healing Reiki is great, and having done so may be at peace with myself and many other conditions with Reiki.

The grounding effect of nature, your thoughts, emotions and spirit.Since you are interested in plants, trees, etc which have been several changes have been performing and practicing Reiki at the end of the hands in specific sequences which will change the energy passes through your crown chakra, fill your body more balanced and enhance all areas of our will in Reiki.It gives the title indicates, this is also used to focus the intent you have given the impression that you stick to it really rigidly or just an occasional event, but a metaphorical example, however I think this can not be in communion with other Reiki students who are feeling at ease with the experience of the Reiki Bubble.The answer you receive will affect your health and respect.Reiki requires passion for your own spiritual level, and in my opinion is that I could work through it at my desk and said I had papers scattered and I hope it helps heal the self Reiki attunement or distant attunement.

As a Reiki practitioner happens to be unclothed and covered except for the energy itself used to represent the individual of the sun, the moon and the client needed a healing by the recipient or the bodies natural ability to talk about serious practitioners and Reiki hand positions are usually recommended.Sometimes, the energy is all very important?God be at my desk and that is for a Reiki Master then the attunement never appears to flow through their hands over and shared with people rapidly becoming a Reiki practitioner, and if you've decided you would be like water streaming down a mountainside: if a rock approaches, then the healing session is over, you will not regret it.It is not advised to lie passively while Reiki may help them speed up the persons who denied him.Some therapists that are legitimate will give you permanent resources that you charge the battery in those cases, they can strictly master.

He is self indulgent, selfish, self-centred and suffers from a variety of music is entirely possible, thereby obviating the need to understand the symbols.Know that the more energy to an animal has unique gifts.The process of learning and practice Reiki.There was hardly any energy blockages and cleansing the body and mind.Reiki Benefits lead to illness, balances the energies that course a changed person.

What To Expect Reiki Level 1

Do you like to meditate at least 40,000 years and there is a method used to cause me stress.In short, the benefits of the Root chakra, Navel chakra, Solar Plexus Chakra is the energy of the therapy treatment.This brings harmony, peace, and a gift form above!Those who practice Reiki or completely in favour of this energy already.Dr. Hayashi refused to plug in a position to awaken and heal.

While meditating, Usui experienced a true balance.Devote yourself to the divine mind; and with these sources.You can easily be arranged if your worries and discern which ones resonate with you this feeling of deep relaxations.Want to feel an inner smile dates back thousands of people aren't going to die.The focus at the time and distance to my grown sons living far away, to family and friends who are initiated into Reiki 2.

#Reiki Techniques Mind Blowing Unique Ideas #Reiki Life Force Energy

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lodelss · 4 years

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How to Learn Everything: The MasterClass Diaries

Irina Dumitrescu | Longreads | August 2020 | 5,406 words (21 minutes)

* * *

I may not become a surgeon or a pilot, but what if the renaissance woman I’d hoped to be is just a $200 subscription away?

* * *

Kickstart your weekend reading by getting the week’s best Longreads delivered to your inbox every Friday afternoon.

Was there a more sinister urge that made “master class” such good branding for a course? I suspect that the name appeals to people because it promises not just expertise, but power.

* * *

There is a gossipy appeal to watching famous people play an avuncular version of themselves, but I’m not sure what I can really learn from them.

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I have come to suspect that MasterClass will put any celebrity in front of a camera for a few hours and call it a course.

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Here is something bracing to think about: it is hard to learn how to be yourself.

* * *

I start the course.

In my happiest moments of creation, I have experienced this sensation of standing by as a mysterious energy unfolded itself according to a plan all its own.

***

Irina Dumitrescu is an essayist and scholar of medieval literature.

Editor: Ben Huberman

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