#I had so much fun with this as my warmup today ^_^

[taichouu]

Mitsuri my beloved perhaps? 🙏

I haven't drawn this sweet girl in forever, finally decided to refresh an old sketch I did of her way back when.

#Pls. The way you sent this a million years ago #Tai talks #Nerdyeldritchhorror #Coffee break #Demon slayer #Kny #Kimetsu no yaiba #Mitsuri kanroji #Kny mitsuri #I still have so many requests in my inbox that I haven't gotten to but I swear by it. I will get to all of them .. Eventually LMAO #I had so much fun with this as my warmup today ^_^ #It was so nice to draw something for myself

[gennyanydots]

A Normal Life

Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x f!reader

A song fic warmup before I start on my two fics for the #love is in the air tgm challenge.

Fic inspired by the song “Normal Life” by July for Kings.

Masterlist

Bradley was nervous. He knew he probably had nothing to worry about. Probably. You’d been together for two years. This was inevitable, but there’s always that quiet voice in the back of his mind whispering to him that this isn’t the life he deserves. He isn’t meant to have the life his parents missed out on. If they wouldn’t have it then why should he get it? You’ve quieted his fears on more than one occasion but it’s still always there whispering.

His palms are damp no matter how many times he’s wiped them on his pants as he waits. He told you to meet him at the beach at 8. He knew most likely you’d be late. You can’t be on time to save your life. You’d been shocked when he didn’t get mad at you the first time you made him late somewhere. Why would he? You still got where you were going. Who cares if you were late?

He feels like he’s going to crawl out of his skin while he’s waiting. This is partially his fault. He got here early. He got here early AND knew you’d be late. Just putting himself through extra torture. He could go and wait with his friends. They’re a little bit aways from him, waiting for the big show. He told them he wanted to be alone though. To sort through his thoughts.

He hops up and down a couple times to try and burn some of that excess energy off. It doesn’t help. He shuts his eyes and takes a few deep breaths before he hears someone walking in the sand towards him and places a hand on his left shoulder.

“Calm down, Rooster. There’s nothing to worry about.”

Bradley rolls his eyes. Wrong. There’s a lot of things to worry about, “Untrue.”

Maverick chuckles, “And what exactly is there to worry about?”

“What if she says no? What if she hates the ring? What if she’s just been going along with this relationship for fun and she actually hates me?”

Maverick shakes his head, “Your girl saying no to you? I don’t think she’s ever done that before. She stares at you like you hung the moon. She hangs off every word you say. Hell, she laughs at your dumb jokes.”

Bradley shrugs, “At least someone around here thinks I’m funny.”

Maverick laughs and ruffles Bradley’s hair, “If she hates the ring take this one back and get a new one but I’m pretty positive she’ll love it. You were smart getting Amelia to drag her to the mall and make her look at rings. Casually. Like she couldn’t guess why she was being dragged from jewelry store to jewelry store.”

“That wasn’t even my idea!” Bradley says exasperatedly.

“Just sayin’. Your girl could never just go along with a relationship. She’s too stubborn. And not that good of an actress. Someone would have caught on by now. She’s not faking her feelings for you. She loves you. So much. Head over heels. To the end of the earth. Forever and ever kind of love. Even if you do forget to take out the trash sometimes and put things up too high on the shelves for her to reach,” Maverick says with a grin.

Bradley grumbles, “I got her a step ladder.”

A pair of headlights pull into the small parking lot.

“Show time. Don’t mess up,” Maverick says and shakes Bradley’s shoulder before letting go and calling over his shoulder, “Don’t think. Just do.” He hurries back to wherever the rest of his friends are.

Bradley takes a deep breath. Don’t think. Just do. It’s still some bullshit advice but it’s all he’s got.

You get out of your car, looking beautiful in a pair of rolled up jeans and one of his hoodies. Bradley loves it when you wear his clothes. An unspoken claim that he revels in.

You walk up to him with a smile on your face and he opens his arms for you to step into, which you do and fling your arms around his middle.

He smiles when he hears a muffled, “Missed you today.” from his chest and he kisses the top of your head.

“Missed you too, babe,” he says as he buries his face in your hair and takes a deep, calming breath. Your presence has always calmed him. Quieted his racing mind. Gave him a soft place to land. A home for his heart.

“Did you just sniff me?” he hears you ask and he laughs.

“Yeah, I did. I like that new shampoo you’re using. Smells nice,” he says against your hair.

“That’s weird, Bradley. Stop sniffing me,” you say and playfully push at his chest but he just holds you tighter. He just needs a few more seconds. He closes his eyes and to himself in barely a whisper, making sure it’s too quiet for you to hear, says, “Talk to me, dad.”

He thinks of his very few and fleeting memories of his parents together. How happy he remembers them being, regardless of how much time they spent apart. His mother’s smile that was always plastered on her face when she was even talking about his dad, even after his death. They truly were meant for each other. He always wondered why his mom never remarried. Never even tried to date after losing his father. He gets it now.

He loosens his arms from around you and takes a half step back and lets his hands run along your arms until he finds your hands and holds onto them both as he squeezes them gently. Your eyes look up to meet his and he sees a soft smile on your face and he takes a steadying breath.

“When I was in my 20’s I thought being alone was best for me. Forming any kind of attachments was hard. Making friends was hard. I was convinced that whoever I cared for would leave me in some way or another. I didn’t understand why I needed anyone. I was upset. Mad at the world. I started to wonder why I was so miserable. I tried to remember back to my happiest times as a child and as hard as it was to admit, it was whenever I was surrounded by people. By my parents. By their friends. By Maverick. By my childhood friends. I also remembered what I dreamed for myself. It wasn’t anything extravagant. Just a normal life. A fast plane. A pretty wife. Some children of our own. A house to settle down in until they’re grown. Then maybe a house out on the beach. The American dream,” Bradley said then slipped down onto one knee still holding your hands and looks up into your eyes, which ho notices are filled with tears. “Do you want to live a normal life with me?”

He hears a soft sob then, “A normal life? With Bradley Bradshaw? That’s a dream come true.”

He grins and pulls you down to him, which knocks you off balance and you end up sprawled on top of him. He wraps his arms around you and covers your face in kisses while your giggle fill the night air.

“What’d she say?” Bradley hears yelled towards the two of you.

“Yes!” You yell from on top of him and you laugh when you hear the cheers off in the distance.

Bradley grins and rolls you off of him and sits up before grabbing the little black velvety box from his pocket. You smile as you hold out your hand. He places the ring on your finger and you pull back your hand to look at it.

“This looks familiar,” you say with a laugh.

“That wasn’t my idea!” He says and stands up then offers you a hand to help you up.

You let him help you then snuggle into his side, “I don’t believe you, Mr. Bradshaw.”

Bradley shrugs as he leads you over to your group of friends, “Believe what you want, Mrs. Bradshaw.”

#bradley bradshaw x reader #Bradley rooster bradshaw x f!reader #rooster x female reader #a normal life

[diastrons]

3- worship & a misc enironment sketch

Warmups for today. I may finish up kiss drawing but who knows, time? motivation? We will see. Been practicing enviros so I can get better at it. Perspective has always been my weak point so I will keep practicing.

Something I missed from Tumblr after being on Twitter for a long time is that I when i wanted to write a little background on my illustrations or concepts, character limit and the unsightliness of a bigass thread kept me from it. And also a general shyness about my writing, but here it's easy to just write and not care if people care to read or not because of the read more cut. I want to be more comfortable sharing my ideas and not being embarrassed because it sounds dumb or whatever. :') And also my ideas morph and change all the time so it's nice to like... just have a record of what I've thought of rather than keep them in my little noggin.

Worship for the kiss challenge was a fun thing to portray. Sarsenbi isn't a god, but deeply devoted to his Goddess, the goddess of fate and divinity. He is her oracle, who once heeded her every word. He might have relied too much on her, but now struggles between the duties that his village expects of him to and what he wants. Mallow on the other hand does not believe in gods or fate, he's serious, stern and had always been set on the path to lead his clan. Since meeting Sarsenbi, he does't know anymore. The future is unclear, but they cherish all the small moments that they can manage, finding comfort in just being themselves, and not an oracle of the goddess or the next to lead his people.

anyways if you're still reading thanks :3 have a lovely day <3

#my art #ocs #kiss art challenge #mallow #sarsenbi #dnd

[luvmmarner]

Michael Bunting - Fan Girl

SUMMARY: You were a Toronto Maple Leafs fan more specifically Michael Bunting. Then on your first ever hockey game, he gave you a puck that so happened to have his number on it. WORD COUNT: 1305 WARNINGS: None TAGLIST: @bolts-nation @j-drysdale @mysticaldonkey --

Since the day Auston Matthews was selected in the first round of the draft, you have been a devoted supporter of the Toronto Maple Leafs. The game of hockey, as well as the entire fan base, continues to fascinate you, and despite numerous missed opportunities in the playoffs, you have not wavered in your support. Before Michael Bunting joined the Leafs, you weren't a major fan of the team to the same extent as you are now. Something about him simply piqued your interest in a big way.

You have always had the desire to go to a game, but unfortunately, the tickets were simply too expensive and you aren't earning very much money right now. That is, until your friend, who came from a wealthy family decided to gift you tickets for your birthday because she knew you wanted them.

"N-no no!! I... I just can’t accept this it’s too much.." Holding the tickets in your hands caused you to stutter over your words. You had a deep-seated desire to attend a hockey game for as long as you can remember, but these tickets were expensive. You would have even been satisfied with the upper level, but both the lower level and the seat at the glass were way too much.

"I insist. Since you are my closest friend, I thought it would be fun to take you to a game.” She beamed at you as she gave you a bear hug while smiling.

"How come you gave them today? You could have told me about the game a few days ago, for crying out loud! Now I have to get dressed." You were joking when you reprimanded her. You couldn't contain your excitement since finally you were going to be able to watch him play so closely. The closest that it is possible for you to get.

You were unable to suppress a grin as the hour of six o'clock neared. You had just finished applying your makeup when you decided to change into your "Michael Bunting" jersey. As you slipped on the jersey it was impossible to express the number of nerves that were running through your body.

“Hey we are going to be late and the lines will be crazy by the time we get there hurry up slowpoke” Jess yelled all the way from the front door.

Before going outside with her, you mumbled a giggle to yourself as you fumbled with your shoes. Given how much you disliked driving, you responded with some gratefulness whenever Jess made the offer to do so. You never stopped having the impression that you were a hindrance in some way because you disliked driving. But Jess always reassured you.

Once you arrived at the Arena Jess took off immediately hoping to get a spot in line before it all filled up. You shortly after joined her in the line. After waiting for a while you finally got passed the security check and your tickets were scanned. As you stepped foot inside the building, you were awestruck. You couldn’t believe that you were here. 

You were surrounded by a lingering aroma of popcorn and pizza, which made your mouth immediately start to water. You both decided that it was best if you got popcorn a little into the game so there wouldn’t be a line. 

Eventually, you found your row after searching for a bit – wasting no time heading down the row and to your seat. The further you progressed through the crowd, the more worried you were until soon there was just one collum left. You both then took a seat in your designated spot and waited patiently for the game to begin.

It didn't take long at all before the warmups got underway and finally, you saw him. This time, instead of looking at him through the screen, you had the opportunity to observe him in such close proximity through the glass. You erroneously believed that he wouldn't notice your jersey number or the fact that you were a huge fan of his, but you were incorrect.

“Hey look who's looking at you,” Jess said giving you a slight nudge. You followed her gaze which only made your heart flutter. He was looking right at you. You gave a quick embarrassing smile.

He skated by you a few times before stopping to pick up a puck and then headed to the bench. You weren't paying full attention until Jess's words prompted you to look up, at which point you saw Bunting standing directly in front of you holding a puck that appeared to have writing on it. He tossed it over the glass, and although you were almost unsuccessful in catching it, you did so in the end. 

“OMG!” Jess and you both screamed at the same time.

After turning the puck over, you discovered that his phone number had been inscribed on the back of it. Your complexion changed dramatically in an instant, turning brilliant crimson.

“Your so lucky!” Jess commented – which you gave a nod to.

“He’s still looking at you” Jess smiled at you. You didn’t even bother to look up as the crimson color was still apparent on your face.

You quickly pulled out your phone and added the number to the contacts on your phone. You intended to send a message to the number after the game was over. You then placed the puck in your handbag after adding the number to your list of contacts. You couldn’t stop the smile on your face. 

– 

As the game officially began and the pregame warmup concluded. Right off the bat, Bunting was able to score while still keeping eye contact with you. You were pleased both about the fact that he scored and about the fact that he scored and then immediately locked eyes with you. It sent butterflies deep inside your stomach. 

The game ended with Toronto winning 6-3. Most of the people began to leave, but you made the choice to remain and watch the stars of the game, and it just so happened that bunting was able to win the first star of the game with 2 goals and 3 assists. 

He did a brief lap around the rink before stopping right in front of you – he threw the stick he was holding over the glass. Which you caught with no issues at all. You could hardly believe it first he gave you a puck and then a stick not to mention his number.  When you left the Arena, Jess immediately began to tease you. "So, are you going to text him now?" She asked with a visible sneer forming on her face. You couldn’t help, but blush once again. 

“Yep!” You answered – pulling out your phone and giving him a quick text saying hi. 

“Sent!” You said as you entered Jess’s car, as she began to start the car and drive into the busy downtown streets of Toronto flooded with people with Leafs Jersey. There were some Flames jerseys, but it wasn't much.

You didn’t expect your phone to chime a few minutes later replying back with ‘hey gorgeous’ You shut your phone off you planned on texting him later when you were home. 

There was one thing that was certain: you would never forget this day, and the smile that was plastered on your face did not fade away for the rest of the night as you stayed up chatting with him and messaging him.

#michael bunting #toronto maple leafs #nhl hockey #hockey #nhl imagine #fluff #nhl #nhl fluff #hockey imagine #hockey fluff #pure fluff #michael bunting imagine

[tamberlanecomic]

July Newsletter

Hey everyone! Here are some general updates for everything that’s been going on and what you can expect for this month and throughout the summer.

Health Update

As some of you may remember, right after the Kickstarter closed I was knocked out by a one-two punch of a fibro flare and Covid. While I’ve been put through the wringer, I’m FINALLY feeling like I’m crawling back out from under this extended period of sickness.

I’m still dealing with some pain and fatigue due to my fibro flare-up, but it’s more or less back to the “normal” levels of what I’m used to, so overall I’m doing pretty good. I took some extra time to recuperate from Covid in the hopes of avoiding any long Covid effects, and while I am still taking it easy, I take a lot of joy in drawing and being forced to not indulge in any of my creative pursuits have made me all the more eager to get back into the swing of things. So, I’m still being careful, but I’m also easing back into work. 

I got so many amazing comments from patrons, readers, and Kickstarter backers all encouraging me to take as long as I needed to get better, and I can’t thank you enough for the kind words and well wishes! It was measurably easier to take some time off to rest knowing I had so many people cheering me on and encouraging me to do so, so thank you so much for taking the time to say something and for sending me words of support. <3 You da best!

Comic Updates

We’re moving right along, with 12 pages currently in the pipeline at various production stages. In fact, I’ve just put three new finished pages into the buffer for $10+ patrons today! Our priority right now is to get a healthy buffer so that I can have ample time and space to catch up on other work without impending deadline pressures.

Patreon Rewards

Next, I plan to knock out a good chunk of Patreon commissions for my $50+ folks. I’ve already been doing that here and there, but I want to make sure that the oldest ones are finished first. 

Likewise, due to the chaos of a sudden move and a lot of life changes, Ari didn’t send the May postcards out until today, so I apologize for the delays there – we’re getting back on track! June’s postcards have already been sent.

Speaking of, I’ve included some of the patron reward art I just finished last week!

Kickstarter News

We still need to finish the internal book edits, draw up the Q&As, format the information in the book, and finish formatting annotations. These are all things I had intended to get done both during and after the campaign but I was simply unable to keep up with it due to health reasons. Curse you, chronic illness! 

I am also going to explore another option for getting the softcovers printed locally, which is something I will only go with if the quality is up to my standards. But we're less than $5k away from being able to reprint Chapters 1-3 so if we're able to get a cheaper local deal with a good printer, I'm willing to explore the option! 

By the way, we are now officially sold out of Chapters 1 and 2 books, but you can help us reprint them by preordering them and other stuff through our Backerkit shop!

Preorder Here

We’ll be streaming edits in the Foxglove discord server, so be sure to keep an eye out on there!

New Pride Merch

For Pride month I launched two new apparel designs as part of our Pride collection! Choose from Agender or Non-Binary Ainsley or Biromantic or Transgender Marie on comfy shirts available in a wide range of colors and sizes. 

This collection also features downloadable Tales from Treehollow comics dealing with LGBTQIA+ themes. Come check it out!

Shop Now

Artfight

I’ve never done Artfight before, but I’m gonna try this year! It’ll be fun to have little warmup drawings I can squeeze in here and there between larger projects. 

If you’ve never heard of Artfight, it’s an annual art trading game where you “attack” by drawing other people’s characters. It seems really fun! If you’re participating and want to add me, here’s my profile:

https://artfight.net/~Cvilbrandt

Thanks all for reading! May this month be ever better!

#newsletter #art #comics #webcomic #cute #animals #adorable #furry art #furry community #digital art #indie comic #TamberlaneComic

[steddieas-shegoes]

After the afternoon from hell, I’m like 90% sure chapter 3 of it led me to you won’t be posted today. It’s so close but I just feel like if I finish it up now I won’t give it the attention it needs and deserves and you all deserve better than that too.

Liam and I will be flying to Colorado earlyyyyy in the morning so I will be unable to do anything until we get settled in our cabin tomorrow afternoon/evening but trust me I intend on using the mountain air and no responsibilities (except keeping Liam alive) to pretty much finish this fic.

Writing is my fun and relaxation. It’s the first thing I’ve done just for me since probably before Liam was born, so having the next 10 days to not have to worry about anything except enjoying our time on the mountain, trying not to pass out when meeting Grace, and writing is gonna be the most serotonin I’ve had in a hot minute.

I also just wanna say these headcanon things are amazing warmups for writing the bigger stuff and I’ll keep doing them as I have time. Probably will have plenty of time in the airport and on the plane tomorrow so send them my way if you want ❤️

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #it led me to you #update delay #Mickala’s apology tour

[gummy-axolotl]

A few things:

1) I can't have my phone at ALL at work today. I was sent home and nearly fired over that yesterday lol. So yeah, I'll be gone for a few hours.

2) I haven't had much inspo to draw recently, so send me some asks for drawing requests to do when I get home!

I have one project I've had in the back of my mind but I haven't gotten around to it. So I need to do that eventually. But yeah, just some things for warmups. And if you have any incorrect quotes or audios for me to make animatics for, that'd be fun!

Uhhhhhh yeah okay byyyyeeeee seeya in a few hours 💜

#gummy says stuff

[complete-in-ix]

You've Got Diamonds For Teeth, My Love

Rated: M

Warning(s): Suggestive. Very suggestive. No smut, though

Description: Today is supposed to be a quiet day; one of the only days that could vaguely be considered "free time" so close to their comeback. Sumin had planned to spend it quietly in Jinsik's company, the two of them working on their own projects while in each other's orbit, because that's how most of their dates go to begin with, so why not kill two birds with one stone?

Unfortunately, Sumin's feelings—some new and some still unsaid from months ago—prove to be too much of a distraction for him. Then again, if it leads to them both discovering new things about each other, is it really such a bad thing?

(Read on Ao3)

Note if you don't use ao3 and can't see the notes I put there: I made Sumin trans and Jinsik autistic because I'm autistic and trans and I say so. I did the same thing with Jinsik in LYHSU, again because I'm autistic and I see him with my autistic eyes, however it should go without saying that I am not diagnosing him nor am I clocking Sumin, this is just my fun projection onto their stage personas.

It's unusually quiet in the dorms today. Minjae is holed up in his room, no doubt having been up since the previous night working on his own projects. Junmin has been dragged out by the four of the 05s for a day out on the town, though he only agreed to it on the condition that they come straight back home if they're spotted. All the better, really, considering their comeback is in less than a week. Speaking of the comeback, Hyunwoo has elected to stay in the practice rooms to clean up some choreo details that he claimed to be lacking in. Sumin thinks he's doing fine—especially considering his comparatively late start—but decided not to argue as he left. Jinsik is staying home to keep Junghoon company, so that leaves Sumin with the opportunity to be completely—well, almost—alone with his boyfriend for a whole day. It's not like they won't be getting anything done anyway; Sumin's got his notebook in his lap that he's drafting a new song in while Jinsik goes over his vocals.

Jinsik's voice is fucking gorgeous. Even while just going through warmups, he has Sumin mesmerized. It might be a bad thing, considering that he has projects to work on, but it's fine. There's no deadline yet, so he can afford to bask in his love a little longer. At this point, he's sure most Roadies have caught on to their relationship with how much he sings his praise for Jinsik's... Everything, really—not to mention their whole "honey-darling" thing getting exposed early on. It's not like he minds. From what he's seen while stalking his own searches, those who have caught on are at least graciously staying silent for their sake or are thinking that they're imagining things.

"Koong, koong, yeah no turning back~" Jinsik changes up his run at the end this time. He's surprised himself with how nice it sounds compared to his other practice runs, if the way he perks up like a happy puppy has anything to show for it. Sumin hides his smile behind his notebook. He'd hate to distract Jinsik with his feelings—which are very much not conducive to his practicing! Still, he can't resist the urge to compliment him.

"You should do that the next time we perform it live, jagi. Roady will go wild for it," he comments. He watches the blush dust Jinsik's cheeks, accompanied by that flustered half-smile he always has whenever someone praises him unexpectedly. Jinsik knocks his foot against his from the other side of the couch they've been sharing.

"Stop it. They'll go wilder for your killing scream—they have been, actually. Did you see how they reacted to the teaser?" Ah, Jinsik, humble and deflecting the praise as always. Good thing Sumin is persistent enough to keep laying it on until Jinsik accepts it.

"I did. I couldn't have done it without your voice leading me in, though." Sumin closes his notebook to seal his words in. He isn't going to get much work done at this point, anyway. Jinsik makes a sort of whining noise in complaint, staring off somewhere to the side instead of meeting Sumin's eyes. That's fine by Sumin, he knows how Jinsik is with eye contact. He won't force him. "I mean it! You have a really impressive high note before I scream anyway, Roady will love a double kill like that! I love it!" He crawls over to Jinsik's side of the couch, stopping just short of his lap. "I love you~ " he adds, just because he can.

"You're distracting me from my practice," Jinsik mutters, though his smile is audible in his words. He continues before Sumin can respond. "I don't mind, though. I was running words—out of the—running of—" he cuts himself off with an incoherent jumble of half-words, his tongue betraying him yet again. Cute.

"Take your time, jagi." Sumin reaches out to take Jinsik's hand, squeezing it in reassurance. Jinsik squeezes it back, fumbling with his free hand for his phone. He taps something out on his notes, passing it to Sumin after a moment.

"Was running out of words for 2day neway, if I kept going I wouldn't want 2 talk when the others get home :(" it says. Understandable, he's been practicing all their previous releases and every song on their upcoming comeback since they had finished lunch. Sumin expresses this much in the reply he types out on another line.

"That's fair, you've been at it for a while now. The others will understand though, you don't have to worry about that!" He passes Jinsik's phone back to him, watching his face while he waits for the reply. Jinsik's eyebrows furrow, and those pretty lips twist into a pout.

"Yea bt I wanna talk 2 them :( Idk it jst feels kinda unfair if I'm 2 tired 2 talk" Jinsik looks up at Sumin like a kicked puppy when he passes the phone back to him. Sumin's heart lurches in his chest. Jinsik is truly too sweet for this world.

"Jagiya, everyone would rather you be quiet and comfortable than force yourself to talk if you don't want to! If anyone gives you trouble for it, I'll scold them >:(" Jinsik's face breaks into a smile upon reading Sumin's reply. God, that smile. Sumin had already been enamored the moment he saw it. If Jinsik had looked like an untouchable angel before he smiled, then after he did, he looked like the sun's warmth personified; and Sumin was freezing . The way his eyes curve up into crescent moons, those adorable dimples, and his teeth... Those fucking teeth. So straight and white and a subtle sort of sharp that Sumin sort of really wants to feel sinking into his skin. He shakes the thought out of his head just in time for Jinsik to pass his phone back to him.

"You'll blow out everyone's ears lol" Sumin has to take a second to recall what they had just been talking about, having gotten more than a little caught up in his own head. Jinsik giggles as Sumin fumbles to reply. What can he say, at this point? Surely Jinsik has caught on to the state he's in, right?

"Uh. Sorry, head empty," Sumin stammers out loud, handing Jinsik's phone back to him with the cursor blinking on an empty line. Jinsik can't stop giggling as he types up his next message. Sumin bites his lip to hold back the rush of feelings that bubble up in his chest at the sound, all those soft and gushy sweet nothings that the others make fun of him for every time he lets them slip around them. It's not like he's embarrassed to be this in love, it's just... This is a side that only Jinsik can unlock. It's only fair that only Jinsik can see it.

"U were the one trying to distract me and now here u are~ U didn't even want to work on anything, did u? 🤨" Jinsik keeps grinning at him when he passes his phone over, his tongue sticking out from between his teeth like a playful puppy. This is not helping Sumin out of the pit he's falling into!

"I did, I was working on things!" Sumin whines out loud, pulling another round of giggles from Jinsik. Fuck it, might as well bite the bullet.

"But yeah I guess you're right... Since we're both distracted, can I just kiss you instead?" This time, Sumin is the one who can't face Jinsik while passing the phone back. It's sort of stupid how flustered he still gets even after they've been together for almost a year now. Then again, even after this long, Jinsik still finds new ways to thrill him.

Like now, when Jinsik's pocketing his phone instead of typing a new message and pulling Sumin the rest of the way into his lap. He reaches up to cup Sumin's face with his free hand, his thumb gently tracing over his lip in a silent request. Sumin's breath hitches.

"Please," he whispers. There's barely any space between them now, yet it's also far too much. Jinsik huffs out a laugh into that minute chasm between them. 

He knocks his forehead against Sumin's—most likely to tease him for still being too shy to initiate it when he had been the one to ask for a kiss to begin with—and finally closes the distance between them.

Sumin melts into him instantly. Jinsik smiles against his lips, soft and sweet. It shouldn't be this easy to wind him up, but here he is falling apart just from one kiss and the warmth of Jinsik's hand on his face. Then again, it's been quite a while since they've had time to be alone together, and it'll be even longer until they get this chance again. Best savour the chance while they have it.

Sumin sighs against Jinsik's lips, still so soft against his own even though he feels like a dog straining at its leash. Jinsik takes it as a sign to deepen the kiss, tilting his head and slotting their lips together until Sumin's head is spinning.

"Jagi," he all but whimpers. Jinsik hums in response, those deep brown eyes staring into his with so much unbridled love that Sumin's breath gets knocked straight from his chest. Not the best thing to happen considering he had broken the kiss to catch it, but that doesn't matter. His want for oxygen is irrelevant, he needs Jinsik. It must be obvious with the way Jinsik grins at him, his tongue curling around his canines and setting Sumin's heart alight.

"I really want you to bite me," Sumin blurts out, breathless and dazed. Jinsik gives a choked yelp, drawing back in surprise. He doesn't push Sumin away, at least. "I-I mean! I just—um." Sumin flails for the right words to explain himself, looking everywhere but Jinsik's flushed face. "I really like your teeth?"

Nailed it.

Jinsik gives a flustered squeak, his hands instinctively coming up to cover his mouth. Sumin has half a mind to stop him but refrains. Jinsik has never handled being suddenly restrained very well.

"Please don't misunderstand, it's just... I've been thinking about it for a while—”

“I’d say it was Jinsik,” Sumin had said upon being asked who in his team should be MVP for short-forms. “At first he seemed a bit awkward, but as time went by he started to relax and his charm started to come out.” At this point, he had known he was starting to ramble. He knew it could be risky for him to spill his feelings so obviously, but perhaps if he kept his face neutral, made sure his tone was even—something he was much better at than the boy whose heart is in his hands—then perhaps it would be okay. “His teeth are so even, so when he was telling the camera his superpower and showing them off, it was so ravishing that I picked him.” Okay. That was definitely way too much to say. He at least managed to say it neutrally enough that the PDs behind the camera didn’t notice anything off. His rambling made it into the final cut of the episode, interspersed with cuts of Jinsik’s gorgeous smile highlighted by some ridiculous glitter filter. Thank fuck he at least kept it together externally in front of the cameras. Sumin still remembers what it was like to actually watch Jinsik grin like that in person; his eyes helplessly drawn to the way his tongue lolled out of his mouth while he stuttered and reset his mouth before retaking yet another line, grinning all the while. Once he noticed, he couldn’t stop. It was killing him.

“—and I just think I would like it?" 

Sumin's doing an awful job at sounding sure of himself. Jinsik seems to agree, staring up at him like he's sprouted a tail. He drops Sumin's gaze after a moment. Sumin opens his mouth to explain further or drop the subject only to find all his words stolen from him at the sight of Jinsik lowering his hands.

Jinsik's tongue traces his teeth, slow and unsure. He gently bites down once he reaches his canine, its sharp point sinking into his flesh. Sumin's throat goes dry. Jinsik winces in pain, shutting his mouth and staring up at Sumin like he's been handed a gun and told to shoot. He doesn't let the eye contact waver this time, so Sumin knows it's serious.

"You won't hurt me, jagi. Your tongue is more sensitive than—" Sumin clears his throat to brace himself. "—I dunno, my neck." Fuck. Still stumbled. Jinsik drops his gaze, staring down at the coffee table instead. He seems to be fighting with himself over Sumin's suggestion. Sumin gives him another to alleviate his worry and fill the silence between them—not like they'd been especially loud before, he hopes. "I won't force you if you don't want to do it. You do know that applies to everything I ask you, right? If you say no, I won't be mad."

Jinsik nods slowly, his resolve finally returning to his eyes when he locks them with Sumin's again. He takes Sumin's hand, those pretty fingers wrapping around his wrist and bringing it up to his face. Sumin doesn't pull away, half suspecting Jinsik's intentions. As predicted, he presses his kiss-red lips to Sumin's fingers. Then, as not predicted, he parts them to place the first two fingertips between his teeth—not biting down yet, just holding them there. He hasn't taken his eyes off Sumin's for this entire exchange. The contrast between Jinsik's shy doe eyes asking him for permission and the blunt presence of his teeth already on Sumin's skin is so much hotter than he ever would have imagined.

"Yeah," Sumin chokes out, "go ahead." The words are thick in his throat and he's only half aware that they've even gotten out of him. Is this how Jinsik feels when he gets tongue-tied?

He doesn't have any time to contemplate the question before Jinsik's biting down; slowly at first, an almost imperceptible pressure that quickly blooms into twin pinpricks of pleasure-pain once he applies some real force into it. Sumin just barely bites down the whine bubbling up in his throat, but can't hide the shiver that rattles down his entire body. Jinsik releases him almost immediately, his eyes darting about in panic. Sumin rushes to reassure him.

"It's okay, I'm okay! It doesn't hurt," he soothes. "You can do it harder, I like it." His face burns with the admission, but it's not like he was lying. Jinsik raises his eyebrow, taking Sumin up on the challenge.

This time, he takes Sumin's fingers down to the second knuckle, parting them with his tongue until they're both directly between his teeth. He gives less warning and more force this time, emboldened by his first success.

Sumin can't hide his moan this time, slapping his free hand over his mouth to at least muffle the sound. Something darkens in Jinsik's eyes, reminiscent of the devil that Sumin sometimes sees while watching his fancams. He loosens his hold for just a second to let Sumin recover before closing his jaws around him again—the hardest bite yet. This one has Sumin slumping against the couch, weak with the want that's been burning in his stomach.

"What the fuck? " Hyunwoo's voice sounds from behind them. The combined force of Sumin and Jinsik's flinching nearly sends Sumin tumbling to the floor, saved only by Jinsik's arm around his waist.

"Can you not sneak up on me like that—" Sumin hisses, whipping around to glare at Hyunwoo. He hides his hand—his first two fingers slightly slick with spit—as quickly as he can, but the damage has been done.

"Can you not do that? At least not on the couch that we have to share?" Hyunwoo retorts. "You know what, I don't even want to know what you guys were doing, if you're not gonna stop, just take it to a room!" he storms off before Sumin can snap back at him. It doesn't stop Sumin from hissing a: "We weren't planning to do anything, but fine!" after him under his breath. He turns back to face Jinsik after a moment, somewhat shaky now that the adrenaline rush—both from being bitten and from getting caught—is starting to wear off. Jinsik gladly welcomes him back into his arms to hide. There's a slight shifting of Jinsik taking his phone back out of his pocket, and he taps Sumin's shoulder shortly after.

"Doesn't him leaving sort of defeat the point of us getting a room?" Sumin barks out a laugh upon reading Jinsik's message. Jinsik whines in complaint, lightly smacking Sumin's arm with his phone.

"Ah, sorry, I wasn't laughing at you," Sumin placates. He presses a kiss to Jinsik's cheek in apology, Jinsik melting against him in acceptance. "You're right, but we should probably move anyway. Now that Hyunwoo's home, we'll probably have more interruptions if we stay out here." Sumin is loath to leave the warmth of Jinsik's embrace, but he forces himself up and off the couch. "Do you want to keep going? We don't have to, I'll get back to work if you don't." Jinsik accepts the hand that Sumin holds out to help him up, although he just clings to Sumin in favour of going anywhere else. Sumin makes a questioning noise, unsure of whether he should leave Jinsik be or drag him to his room. He'd be lying if he said he didn't prefer the latter over the former, but he'd rather let Jinsik control the pace of their relationship.

"My room is farther from the others, let's go there," Jinsik's next message says, followed by: "I don't want to stop." The heat in Sumin's stomach—that had been significantly dampened by Hyunwoo's return—comes roaring back to life as he reads it.

All the words that he could say in response get caught in his throat at once, so he leans in to kiss Jinsik instead. Jinsik is quick to reciprocate, pulling him in by the waist and swiping his tongue over Sumin's lips.

Oh. He's eager.

Sumin's knees nearly give out on him at the realization, held up only by Jinsik's hold on him. They should probably get to Jinsik's room, fast.

"Mmh—jagi, come on," Sumin manages to stammer in between kisses. "Let's get to your room before someone else walks in." Jinsik growls against him in complaint, but he eventually relents, pulling back for just long enough to drag Sumin to his room and close the door behind them. As soon as the door clicks shut, Jinsik is back on him, all but tackling him onto his bed—thank god he's on the bottom bunk—and crashing their lips together again.

Sumin easily melts under him, pliant and weak for his enthusiasm. Jinsik has always thrown his all into expressing his feelings; crying when he's sad, laughing when he's happy—Sumin has yet to see what would happen if he gets angry, but just the thought of it sends a thrill down his spine like no other. This, though... Jinsik kisses him like he wants to eat him alive, all teeth and tongue that burns his desire into Sumin's very soul.

Jinsik wants him.

The realization has Sumin muffling a moan into Jinsik's mouth, blindly grasping at his cardigan to ground himself. Jinsik huffs a laugh against his lips, sultry and self-satisfied. He must be on a mission to single-handedly kill Sumin today. He guides Sumin a little farther up the bed to settle in next to him, breaking the kiss to slip the cardigan off. Sumin chokes on his own breath.

"Uh," he stammers. Perfectly articulate! Okay, can he really be blamed for losing his grasp on language at the sight of his boyfriend's arms? First of all, Jinsik is his boyfriend , second, he may not be as big of a gym rat as Minjae-hyung or Hunter but his arms are fucking nice . Third of all, Jinsik is kissing him again, so he has no need for words now, anyway. Jinsik keeps it relatively chaste this time, leaving Sumin to catch his breath while he leaves a line of kisses down his jaw leading down to his neck. Ah, right. He'd mentioned that earlier. Jinsik mouths over Sumin's pulse point, most likely able to feel his heart pounding through the sensitive skin there. Sumin digs his hand into the sheets, too shy to reach out and grab for Jinsik's waist despite their proximity. He's burning up, he realizes.

"Jagi—ah—hold on," Sumin groans, his speech slurred by the heat under his collar and Jinsik's ministrations. Jinsik immediately pulls back, his eyes shining with muted concern. It does little to mask how his pupils are blown wide open, something dark burning behind them that has Sumin biting back a whimper. He pulls himself together just enough to strip himself of his hoodie; the material much too thick and heat-trapping for what he's doing. Besides, he wants to feel Jinsik's touch. "Sorry, got too hot," he mutters, tossing it somewhere across the room.

Jinsik stares at him with nothing short of hunger . He still has a t-shirt on—they both do—but Jinsik's gaze is so intense that it feels like he can see straight through it; past his skin right to his jackhammering heart. Suddenly shy under Jinsik's scrutiny, Sumin crosses his arms over his chest, digging his fingers into his arms to hide his self-consciousness.

"What? My body isn't that built, is it?" he asks. He gives Jinsik a hopefully lighthearted smile, his eyes dropping away from Jinsik's eyes; down to his flushed cheeks, his kiss-swollen lips parted to reveal those fucking perfect teeth, the bob of his Adam's apple, the pretty jut of his collarbones. No matter where he looks, he can still feel Jinsik's gaze raking up and down his body like a floodlight.

Is this why Jinsik avoids eye contact all the time?  He'd once told Sumin that it feels too personal, too searching when other people look him in the eye. Sumin is sure that had been true, but perhaps Jinsik had also been protecting everyone else from himself. If he feels like this just from Jinsik looking at his body, surely he would combust if their eyes meet. He manages to hide his eyes until Jinsik reaches out for him again, grasping his hand and gently pulling it away from where he had been digging his nails into his arm. He hadn't even noticed the pain until it was gone. He lets his other arm drop, forcing the tension to bleed out from his shoulders so Jinsik knows he still has a green light.

"Sumin," Jinsik sighs, his voice low and ever so slightly rough from disuse. Sumin's eyes snap back up to meet his; if he's speaking again, it's serious. Jinsik's eyes are fathomlessly deep pools of love and desire, flecks of concern flashing within the depths. Sumin's breath is punched from his chest. "You're beautiful. It doesn't matter how built your body is, I still want it."

Sumin chokes on his own breath. Jinsik does too, if the panicked tongue-tied noises that accompany Sumin's wheezing have anything to show for it.

"I mean—not like that, I didn't—yes like that but—" Jinsik's half-sentence ends in a whine that he muffles into his free hand. Sumin lets out a flustered laugh, squeezing Jinsik's hand in reassurance.

"It's okay, I get what you mean. Do you want to keep going?" Sumin asks, his smile coming naturally now that some of the tension between them has dissolved. "You don't have to say it out loud, just kiss me if you do."

Jinsik wastes no time in diving right back in, twisting his hand so he can entwine his fingers with Sumin's as their lips meet. He's smiling against Sumin's lips, kissing him with a familiar spark behind it that has Sumin's heart swooping. He's grown more daring with this latest break, his free hand seeking out Sumin's and guiding it to his own waist. Sumin flails for half a second until Jinsik's tongue returns and he's gladly digging his fingers into that soft warmth. He's tempted to dip his hand under the fabric between him and Jinsik's skin, feel the way his muscles tense under him, maybe dig his nails in and leave marks somewhere the stylists won't see. He refrains. Better to let Jinsik make the first move on that front.

As if on cue, Jinsik's free hand slips under his shirt—not far, just his fingertips skimming over the jut of his hip. Sumin still feels sparks from his touch. Jinsik starts to pull back—most likely to check if that's okay with him—and Sumin surges up to reconnect them. This is more than okay with him, Jinsik could do pretty much whatever he wanted and Sumin would let him.

"Please," he whispers, in case Jinsik needs more clarity. Jinsik grins at him, somehow adorable and absolutely wicked at the same time. He gestures for Sumin to wait, pushing himself up to the headboard and propping himself up with his pillow. Heat rushes to Sumin's face. He can't possibly mean—! All of Sumin's thoughts fracture into nothing when Jinsik makes a "come hither" movement with his fingers. That has absolutely no right to be as hot as it is! Sumin bites back a fucking mewl as he crawls into Jinsik's lap, heat pooling honey-slow in his stomach. He settles a safe distance from Jinsik—close enough to not risk falling off, but still far enough for some breathing room just in case—hyper aware of how his legs are bracketing Jinsik's hips.

Contrasting Sumin's expectations, Jinsik doesn't immediately start digging into him. He's slow instead, almost reverent in the way he slides his hands up Sumin's thighs and up his shirt. Sumin lets out a shaky sigh as those pretty hands skirt over his hips, one hand settling at his waist and the other continuing up to his chest until he can trace the scars there. He's painfully gentle, glancing up into Sumin's eyes as his fingers follow the lines left by Sumin's surgeon.

Jinsik tilts his head up at him. He already knows about this aspect of Sumin's life, but they've never really gone into extensive detail about it. Sumin can see the questions drifting about in the sea of love that are Jinsik's eyes. Is it okay to touch you here? Did it hurt? What was it like, having to deal with this before? Sumin only nods to answer the first, the rest can come later.

"Come here, jagi," Sumin murmurs. "Don't be shy." He drapes his arms around Jinsik's neck, playing with the collar of his shirt. He sort of wants to take it off him, expose the unmarred skin underneath and ravage him until he's fully marked up as his and only his. He refrains, though. He'll wait for Jinsik to let him first, and he has plenty of patience.

Jinsik, ever the sweet boyfriend, pulls Sumin into a hug. He sighs against the crook of Sumin's neck, soft lips brushing over his throat. Sumin shivers under him, yet again reminded of the sharp teeth hidden behind that softness.

"Love you," Jinsik whispers, and then he's pressing a kiss to Sumin's pulse point and sinking those teeth in.

"Ah—!" Sumin's gasp is far too loud for the space they're in; although it's not like he's in any state to care. He tangles his fingers into Jinsik's hair to hold him there, even when it starts to hurt. Jinsik releases him right when it's at the edge of too much, lapping his tongue over the bite like some kind of beast. Sumin keens, tilting his head to give Jinsik better access.

Jinsik practically purrs , kissing and biting his way down Sumin's neck until he's filling the room with his gasps and bitten-off moans. He soothes every bite with his tongue, the hand on Sumin's waist tracing patterns into his skin to ground him as he squirms.

"Love you," Jinsik whispers after a particularly hard bite. "Love you so much."

The hand that had been tracing his scars comes to rest over Sumin's heart, perhaps the only thing keeping it from beating out of his chest. Sumin would let him take it out of its cage any day, hold him while it bleeds and beats just for him. A year earlier, he would have been scared to be so completely at Jinsik's mercy; now it just thrills him all the more. Jinsik is good to him—too good, sometimes—he can handle a little pain.

"I love you too," Sumin sighs. "More than I can ever say." Jinsik makes a soft noise of dissent. He takes his hand out from under Sumin's shirt to press a finger to his lips. Sumin understands it perfectly: "Don't say it, then. Just show me."

He does exactly that, entwining his hand with Jinsik's and kissing him hard. Jinsik hums appreciatively against his lips, opening up to his mercy. Sumin nearly nicks his tongue against Jinsik's teeth, drawing a low moan from his boyfriend.

Oh. So this is how he had been feeling.

Sumin's world tints pink upon this first taste of control; he'd very much like to drown in it now that he knows the hold he has over Jinsik. He hardly lets himself up to breathe, diving in deeper every time he returns. With the way he now leans over Jinsik, he's forced to guide his hands to his hips to avoid hurting Jinsik's wrist; he has to dig his fingers in to ground himself at some points. Sumin hopes they leave bruises.

He shifts a little so he can return the favour, bracing Jinsik's neck with one hand while the other snakes up the side of Jinsik's shirt. He openly moans into Jinsik's mouth when he reaches the dip of his waist, toned and irresistible. He's going to have a hard time keeping his hands off once tonight is over. Jinsik shivers, ticklish under his touch. Sumin itches to dig his nails in. Would Jinsik like it as much as he likes Jinsik's grip on his hips? Would he squirm away from his hand, breaking the kiss to laugh? He lightly scratches down Jinsik's waist, just to test the waters. 

Jinsik jolts at the contact, breaking the kiss with a gasp. Sumin's halfway to pulling back to ask if he's okay until Jinsik's squeezing his hips so hard they definitely bruise. The noise he makes is so desperate that there's no way that Sumin could possibly misinterpret it—especially not when accompanied by the pleading look in those dewy eyes.

"Do you like that, jagi?" he coos, even though he already knows the answer. Jinsik nods so hard that he nearly clocks Sumin in the jaw if not for his quick reflexes. He presses quick, insistent kisses all along Sumin's jaw; his form of begging when he isn't in the mood to speak. Fuck, he's so cute. Sumin obliges before Jinsik can start whining, leaning down to claim his lips and his waist this time. The kiss starts off gentle, a stark contrast to the blunt scrape of his nails in Jinsik's skin.

It's hard not to be a little rough from then onward. Jinsik's reactions are intoxicating; arching into Sumin's touch the harder and higher up his chest that he scratches, moaning into Sumin's mouth until he's sucking on Sumin's tongue to muffle himself. Sumin feels fucking feral. The heat that had been smoldering in his stomach has long blazed into something out of control, throbbing dully deep inside him to the beat of his racing heart. Jinsik is just as hot—both figuratively and literally—but it doesn't stop Sumin from pulling himself ever closer into his lap. He wants to be closer, wants to feel him until just touching isn't enough, until there's nothing between them and—

Oh.

Oh.

Jinsik pulls back with a yelp, his entire body snapping taut like a puppet's. It takes half a second for him to regain control of his hands; another hand second for him to start pushing Sumin away. The sharp knife of alarm is quick to cut through Sumin's haze of arousal, though the whiplash in mood has him a little sluggish.

He scrambles to get off Jinsik's lap, his legs tangling with themselves and tripping him so he falls somewhere farther down the mattress. He shakes himself back to a state of semi-clarity, his chest heaving to catch his breath.

"Jagiya? You okay?" he asks. Sure the sudden rejection may sting a little, but something had clearly spooked Jinsik; his comfort is more important than Sumin's libido—he has his hands and a toy for that.

Jinsik makes a whine of distress, patting at the sheets in search of his phone. His eyes dart every which way, so quickly that Sumin feels dizzy just looking at him. He's still panting heavily—which would be incredibly hot in any other context than this clear panic. Sumin's stomach drops in dread. What had he done? What can he do?

"Jinsik, please breathe," Sumin murmurs shakily. "I'm not upset. You know that I'm not upset, right?" He rushes to reassure him, though there isn't much he can do from here but hope that his words get through to him. Jinsik doesn't do well with being touched during an upcoming meltdown. Jinsik gives a somewhat absent nod, half-choking on his own breath. It at least forces him to slow down slightly, a drop of clarity returning to his eyes. "Looking for your phone?" Jinsik nods again, heaving one last painful breath before swallowing and forcing himself to steady his breathing. His hands tangle white-knuckled in the sheets, unsuccessful in their search. Sumin remembers it had been in his pocket; one glance at Jinsik's lap is enough to tell him it's still there. Something else is also quite prominent that hadn't been there before.

Sumin's face flushes a deep red, and he turns his head away so quickly that his neck cracks.

"It's, uh," he stammers, clearing his throat. "It's still in your pocket." He spots the cardigan that Jinsik had discarded earlier and blindly tosses it in his direction; a little cover so they can both have a little cover from the, uh, situation at hand.

There's a strained sort of hum of thanks from Jinsik, then the room falls silent save for the frantic tapping of Jinsik's fingers on his phone. Sumin uses the time to calm himself down and think of how to respond to whatever Jinsik has to say. Realistically, he should have known something like this would have happened. Sure they've made out before, but never this intensely—not to mention ever getting this close to going a step further. It's a natural progression for a relationship, but they need to talk about these kinds of things first. Even though they had fallen for each other at first sight, they still talked just as friends for months, then talked through every step of their relationship once they—and the rest of the group—were unable to ignore their feelings for each other. They'd had plenty of conversations about how to properly accommodate Jinsik—that also ended up helping the rest of the group as a whole—and perhaps they could have had a few more conversations about Sumin's body and what he could or couldn't do with the others, but this... This is a complete blind zone for them both. No wonder Jinsik had panicked so badly.

Jinsik growls in frustration from his place at the headboard. Sumin glances over at him—the cardigan is securely over his lap and concealing their main source of stress—and is met with the sight of him glaring at his own phone, erasing another message.

"Jagi," he calls out, softly enough to not startle him but firmly enough that Jinsik pauses his typing. "You don't have to be so stressed out. I'm not upset at you. It's only natural that you panicked, we didn't talk about this beforehand. I'm sorry for startling you." He makes his way back to Jinsik's side as he speaks, careful not to touch him. Jinsik sighs, some tension visibly bleeding from his shoulders as he types up one last line.

"M really sorry for freaking out it ws jst 2 much yeobo m sry :(" it says on one line. The next line under it reads: "I know ure not mad bt I still feel bad for it since u obviously rly liked it" . The third and final line reads: "Ye we def still need 2 talk bcus I rly don't think I'm ready to do that yet m sry :("

"Yah, stop apologizing!" Sumin chides out loud as he reads through them. Jinsik flinches, but he at least manages a weak smile. "It doesn't matter how much I liked it, now I'm just worried that I was pushing you. How were you feeling?" he asks. Normally, he would take Jinsik's phone to type that up himself, but his brain is going too fast for his fingers at the moment and he needs to let Jinsik know that none of this is his fault nor would Sumin ever hold this to him as fast as he can. Jinsik takes it well, typing out a new message in response.

"I liked it 2, if ure nervous abt scratching me u rly don't have 2 worry bcus I liked that the most" Jinsik hides his face with his free hand while he shows this one to Sumin, although Sumin can still see the blush creeping down his ears and neck. He breathes a sigh of relief; that had been exactly what he was worried about.

"That's good, because I liked doing it," Sumin admits, his voice fraying a little at the edges near the end. He clears his throat to try again. "I liked it when you bit me. I already thought I would, but having it actually happen was a totally different experience." Jinsik's breath hitches, and he yanks the phone back to type another line.

"How long were u thinking abt that?!" It's Sumin's turn to blush this time. Would it be too much to admit it?

"Since we were making those first short-forms with Young Prince for Let's Go Xikers," he mutters. Jinsik makes a strangled noise in response instead of typing out a message. "That's when I first noticed! Then I just couldn't un-notice, and then I would watch your fancams for fun and you were always grinning so widely and showing off your teeth, so I would start thinking, and then—" Sumin cuts off his own rambling with a muted scream that he muffles into his hands. The bed creaks with Jinsik's laughter next to him, so contagious that he can't help but laugh as well, slightly delirious from the emotional rollercoaster that he's just been through. "Ugh, don't get me started on it, I'll work myself up again..." he groans into his hands.

As much as he's tried to talk himself down—and this conversation has certainly helped—he's still running quite hot. He should probably leave if Jinsik is still overwhelmed; he knows Jinsik prefers company to help him calm down, but if he still wants him during this, it'll do no good. Jinsik taps his shoulder after a moment, a new message displayed on his phone.

"I don't mind that part.. I don't want u 2 leave, I jst don't want 2 do more than kiss" Jinsik takes the phone back before Sumin can respond, typing up an addition at lightning speed. “As long as that's ok with u? If u want to leave I won't stop u bt I want u to stay" Sumin's heart melts at the sight.

"Of course I'll stay," he says with a smile. "I'm tired after all that anyway, I won't go as far if we keep going." Jinsik hums in contentment and pockets his phone to pull him into his arms. Sumin easily goes along with his embrace, guiding them down so they're lying down properly. He rests his head on Jinsik's chest, lulled by his heartbeat. It's still faster than usual, but at least not pounding hard enough to cause concern. Jinsik's hand comes up to play with his hair, gentle fingers undoing the knots that had been woven into it by their earlier action. Sumin all but purrs. He brings his own hand up to trace mindless patterns over Jinsik's chest that eventually morph into a repeating "I love you."

It doesn't take long for Jinsik to notice, and then he's smiling and pulling Sumin up to kiss him again. It's tender this time, still relatively heated but free of the urgency of all their previous kisses. Sumin sighs against him. He already sort of is, but still; he could get used to this.

There's a knock on the door before he can, though. They both freeze, staring at each other in mutual dread. If anyone else walks in on them like this, they'll never hear the end of it!

"Jinsik-hyung? Are you sleeping?" Yujun's voice sounds faintly from behind the door. They let out a sigh of relief in unison; Yujun will at least wait for a response before coming in.

"Yes, you were until he knocked," Sumin whispers, tugging the blankets out from under himself and tossing them over both their bodies. "Just roll with it. If he asks, I'm still sleeping." Jinsik nods, pulling out his phone to type out a message for Yujun. Sumin spots him saving his previous messages to him in another folder before opening up a new one before he's rolling over and shutting his eyes. If he can't help but smile in his pretend sleep, that's only for him to know.

===

Yujun can faintly hear a vaguely awake noise from behind Jinsik's closed door. He knocks again, just to be sure.

"Hyung? Can I come in?" he asks. Jinsik gives an approving hum, and he cracks the door open.

Jinsik's lying propped up on one arm, his phone held out in one hand with a message for Yujun to read. Next to him, Sumin is fast asleep.

"Sry, out of words today. We were just taking a nap, what's happening?" Yujun makes a little "ah" in understanding upon reading Jinsik's message. Everyone's been tired while preparing for this comeback, he doesn't blame him or Sumin for wanting a little more rest.

"It's dinnertime, Junmin-hyung bought takeout." Jinsik nods, pausing to glance over at Sumin before typing out his next message. Yujun's heart squeezes in envy. His hyungs are so cute together, when can he have something like that?

"We'll b right out, let me jst wake up Sleeping Beauty and we'll b right there" Yujun fake gags at how sappy his hyung is. Jinsik huffs out a laugh and halfheartedly swipes at him, but Yujun is quick to dodge.

"Couples," he mutters under his breath. "I'll let the others know you're coming, take your time!" he says as he steps out.

He closes the door behind him, and five minutes later his hyungs are trudging out of Jinsik's room looking at least vaguely put together for a couple of people waking up from an afternoon nap.

"Oh my GOD," Hyunwoo shrieks when the two sit down. "I knew you two were fucking!" Everyone else chokes except Junghoon, unbothered as always.

"Language!" Minjae and Junmin hiss in unison over Yechan's hysterical laughter.

"We were not ," Sumin growls, death glaring Hyunwoo so hard that Hunter half hides behind Seeun. Jinsik is fighting himself to form words properly, frantically tapping at his phone for a response. Yujun blinks in confusion.

"Yeah, they were asleep!" he cuts in. Then he catches sight of Sumin's neck. One side is entirely covered with marks, varying shades of pink blooming across his skin.

Oh god.

The stylists are going to kill them for this!

#you've got diamonds for teeth my love #xikers #sumsik #canon compliant #annual #technically the sequel to let your heart speak up but can be read as a standalone #it's 4am and i've been working on this for like a week good fuckin night

[keefwho]

July 18 - 2023 Tuesday

7:25 AM

My friend complains about how she often gets creepy guys that are entitled to her attention and end up being total weirdos about everything. I know it impacts how she feels about herself and I don’t blame her. The closest thing I’ve experienced is being treated in a similar way from people that just want my art or think I own them attention in a professional sense. I hardly let these people get to me because of how I can close myself off but that comes at a cost. I’m realizing how brave it is to be in this kind of situation and still have the capacity to care like she does. Being closed off like I am avoids harmful feedback like this but makes it harder to accept the positive things too. Which is SHIT because I hate giving people power over me. 

5:05 PM

I crave deep connection and the only person I can get that from is busy lately. It’s hard trying to connect with people in general, especially when I don’t have a grip on who I am. If I don’t try REALLY hard, talking to anyone feels almost pointless. And that makes me feel isolated because it feels like a bad thing that I can’t related to very many people, even though I know the core cause and that I AM able to make it better. It doesn’t help that I only have virtual contacts and never leave the 4 walls I find myself confined to. I don’t think any human is meant to put up with what I’ve put myself in for so many years. 

5:27 PM

It’s nice to remind myself that it’s okay to feel sorrow at things that aren’t made up. A lot of my despair comes from my own untrue thoughts, but some things are real. I feel sad that I have nowhere to go, that I’m cooped up here. I’m sad that my bestie is so busy and doesn’t have time to hang out or pursue her own hobbies like she wants. I’m sad that I had a shit childhood that contributed to how seemingly broken I am now. It’s okay to be sad at things like this. They are real. This was triggered by watching a stream of a game where this girl was crying because she was not allowed to leave the house for her own safety. But she had her father and toys, but it wasn’t enough. It reminds me of all the times I would be alone with my own toys. And sometimes mom would play with me but too often I was alone wanting someone to share the fun with. I learned to cope but I don’t want to cope anymore. I want to share and I want to love. 

10:44 PM

Today went okay but as usual my core issue is lacking that self perspective and thinking too much about certain things. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to be conscious that I am a constant living, thinking person and so are the people I interact with. Maybe it’s being confined to this room having such strong routines. It’s easy to lose yourself when you pre-define everything you’re going to do and berate yourself for breaking protocol. 

Anyways for breakfast I had bean with bacon soup and a grilled cheese. Shortly after eating I had unrelated tummy cramps that delayed me from doing my usual morning art stream on time. My warmup sketches were impacted as well. I did do a short stream brought on by my bestie asking if I was going to today because she would watch. My tummy was mostly better at this point so I gave it a try and was able to for about an hour. This meant I slacked on commission time today but I can afford to atm. For a bit I relaxed until I felt a little better and took a shower. I had a wicked nut and enjoyed the mist feature of my showerhead as it turned my bathroom into a sauna I baked in for a bit. Out of the shower I decided to clean up a bit like I hadn’t earlier and took my trash can out to be hosed down before wiping it down with bleach. Can’t have dirty garbage. The process was filthy though so I took another brief shower and changed clothes. For lunch I made a chicken burger but didn’t overcook it this time. I freeze all my perishables including bread and cheese and for some reason I always feel the need to fully cook them all. I usually do this by cooking the patty, assembling the burger, and putting it back in the pan with a lid over it to bake it essentially. Normal it results in a bun that is too hard and some of the flavor gets fucked up. Well today while the patty finished, I put the buns in just to get toasted, put the patty on one after that, and let the cheese melt on top before finishing it. No burnt buns this time. Today’s request and world work were done in my friend’s server again. Sometimes I want to shake it up but I don’t know where to go. Today in particular I wasn’t feeling like hanging out there but I was alone enough to try anyways. I know when I feel like that though, that I’m not there for the best reason and I tend not to connect with people. Afterwards I was hoping to hang out with my bestie soon and was trying to find a way to spend my time. I was watching Twitch but felt very sad about my current circumstances. But it was sad in the way that made me want to do something about it instead of pity myself or let myself be pitied by others. For awhile though I let myself sulk because I feel like I needed that wholesome sadness. Midway through I was checking my favorites on e621 out of boredom and succumbed to my lustful desires. Even though I already nutted earlier, I was gonna do it again and blow myself this time. Just to feel something honestly, I did this for the distraction. It turned out to be a bad idea though because I had pulled my back slightly a few days ago doing this same thing but this time I pulled it way harder. I almost thought I was gonna need a doctor. My friend was also chilling in VC while I did some of this so I was missing that quality time for some BLOW. I streamed myself playing Mother 3 while she did some LinkedIn stuff and worked on producing a pattern for her fursuit head. We discovered this pony show that she was shocked she didn’t know about so hopefully we can try watching it someday soon. 

Sometimes I know what it takes to force myself to get perspective but sometimes I’m scared to become aware. Sometimes it’s easier to just go through the motions even though I know it’s bogging me down and ruining my life. It’s easy to lose and thats what makes it appealing. With this journal though I try to force myself to write about my day and evaluate how it went. Like, I really did all this and am now reporting it. I was there making decisions and experiencing the outcomes. 

What could I have done better today? This morning my tummy hurting caused me to slack a lot but I can’t blame myself for that too much. I still pushed through it and did what I could. I guess instead of joining my friend’s server I could have tried to find someone else to talk to? Or I could have chilled more on my own. I really don’t know what could have been better, it seems like I was fucked either way. Maybe I was lacking that much needed perspective to feel right doing anything at the time. I think I should have avoided nutting a second time, I did it for the wrong reasons. Maybe it is good sometimes to engage in those distractions but in this case I physically hurt myself because I didn’t prepare right. Other than that things felt a little out of my control. All I really want to do is spend more time with my bestie but I’m having to accept that it’s not possible right now. And the only reason I want that is because I can’t find anyone else that fulfills me socially right now. EVERYONE is a drain except for her and my best friend, but he’s always busy and in a different time zone. It seems like the key is to find more people that I don’t have to put up with. People that build me up for once. It almost seems impossible to find them. 

Tomorrow I’m going to keep focusing on reminding myself to look at myself and practice thought defusion techniques some more. I’ll probably write about that because sometimes I have trouble deciding if a thought needs to be defused or not but there are some criteria to check off that determines if a thought may be helpful or not. 

#journal #diary #power #sad #lonely #socializing

[inkandpain]

I've long loved the work of Patrick Nagel. You know, the guy whose work (or knockoffs thereof) hangs out in every salon you've ever been to?

His style is so clean, and he did it all without any computers. His work looks like vectors, but no, not at all! I could wax poetic on stuff like influences all day, and trace the lineage of his work, but that's boring to normal people, so I won't. Instead, I'll just post this up.

Nagel usually had dark-haired characters in his work, mostly women, but I decided to do Harry. He's not the kind of guy Nagel would have used as a model- his features are very heavy, unlike the almost anime-esque beauties he churned out. However, Harry's everything is 100% 80s-style business sleaze, so I can see him commissioning the guy when he was alive.

What brought this on was me drawing Harry in a style inspired by a certain era of Kaneko Kazuma's work on the Shin Megami Tensei series. I realized, upon seeing a little documentary video that his style during the Nocturne era is intensely similar to Nagel at his peak. The difference is that Kaneko's work is much more detailed and fantastic, with greater use of rendering and color variety, while Nagel's is very muted, relying on a more economic line style and flat shading and splashes of vibrancy here and there to create his striking work.

My personal rendition is far from either of these masters, but I have learned something in the exercise. I do think I managed to convey the spirit I'm reaching towards, if not the exact execution. I tend to use many lines, while both Kaneko and Nagel are capable of communicating much through few, so I had to fight my natural inclination.

This was meant to be a warmup exercise today, but I was having so much fun that I couldn't stop. One day, I will sit down and make a more dedicated effort and study of economy of line and form, but this one makes me happy to look at, for now.

#HELLBREAKFAST #art #Kaneko #SMT #Nagel #80s #retro art #retro

[jasmariswonderland]

Danica’s P.E. Uniform Story+Voice Lines

Read accompanying vignette here!

~ P.E. Uniform Voice Lines ~

Summon: “If you’re open to it, working hard can be fun too!” 

Groovy: “I’m not as delicate as I look.” 

Set Home: “Let’s start slowly with a few warmups.”

Home Idle 1: “Be sure to tie your hair up so it won’t fly in your face, hehe, sometimes I forget to do that myself.” 

Home Idle 2: “I always stretch before practice, and after too.”

Home Idle 3: “Sometimes Vil-san makes me do yoga with him. I don’t mind, but sometimes he gets up so early!” 

Home Login: “Physical strength is a core requirement of any dancer. It’s not just looking pretty.” 

Home Tap 1: “The sun is very bright today. I don’t really like cold weather but the compete opposite doesn’t fare well with me either.” 

Home Tap 2: “I haven't’ had much opportunity dance since coming to NRC. But I love to practice in my dorm ballroom, that is, when no one else is around!” 

Home Tap 3: “Before coming to this school, I’d never used a broom before. Flying is pretty fun though and I want to get better!” 

Home Tap 4: “Don’t forget to drink lots of water. Staying hydrated is important so you don’t get headaches.”

Home Tap 5: “I’m a little sore, so could you stop with that, please? 

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland oc #twst oc #pomefiore oc #OC: Danica #Danica's cards

[yushox]

PERFORM FOR YOU

~♥~

He never thought he'd visit such a place, but dare is a dare, and he doesn't back out of those unless he knows he'd get harmed by the dare.

The performers haven't come out yet so he goes to grab a simple beer, not crazy about alcohol in the first place.

He likes the dj's music choices. Realising that they simply put on some warmup music.

Eventually the owner comes out, dj getting ready at their station.

"Welcome ladies, gentlemen and everyone else. Today you will be graced with three new performers, Rosethorn, Timebomb and White Gold. Unfortunately out previous performer Insomniac had to leave and as you all know this place was closed for training reasons for six months. Thank you all for your patience and loyalty. We hope you will all be entertained tonight. Have fun."

The dj starts a song and a pretty woman in a rose croptop, miniskirt, ripped stockings and higheels comes out. Her performance is good, but doesn't interest him in the slightest. She cleans off the pole a little bit, making sure to make it seem like a performance as well, before leaving. She ends up making quite alot of tips, a dedicated cleaner comes to pick up the money on the floor while stage lighting is turned off.

"That was Rosethorn, she is straight unfortunately for the ladies in the audience, so you may only look. Next up we have Timebomb, our most energetic performer, he is off limits unless he explicitly likes you, prices are listed on the screen above the bar."

He checks the prices and whistles, that's quite the sum for a newbie. But he figures it seems weird because he has never been in this kind of place before.

Sapnap sits more upright when the performer comes out "Karl...?", looks like Sap didn't know his boyfriend did this as a career. He looks upset.

Karls performance is exactly as the owner of the place has said - full of energy. He ends up having bets made on him, but while acting like he doesn't know the other he, chooses Sapnap.

Sapnap stands and looks at Dream apologizingly before leaving with Karl to a private room.

"Timebomb was great huh. Thank you for liking him this much, he was our last choice, but it clearly was worth it to hire him. Next up, we have White Gold, our most experienced performer, it's his first time doing this kind of a career, but he will show his experience with flexibility you might see for the first time in your lives."

Dream sits ramrod straight as the announced performer comes out and makes a few walks around the pole. Their eyes meet, brilliant sky blue watching bright green, just for a second or two.

He swears the performer smiles and winks at him. But they start their performance too quickly for him to be sure.

He glances at the price and quickly presses a button on his phone, knowing very well that Sapnap will be angry with him essentially going broke for the rest of the month.

Then Punz goes upside down near the ceiling, holding onto the pole with just his leg, using the rest of his body to strike the poses that leave Dream a melting mess.

And then the dancer lets himself drop almost all the way to the floor, head first. Dream could hear the audience gasp in surprise ower the loud music.

They, just like a slinky, fold and stand upright, doing a couple more walks around the pole before striking the one pose that makes Dream lose his mind.

"Well, it's clear as day you all liked the performer. But, unfortunately, only one of you will be getting a private performance of your choice. Todays highest bidder for White Gold is.. sitting at table 14! White Gold will ecort you to your private room shortly."

That's the man at the table besides his, disappointedly he sighs, mood souring.

"Actually," the dancer speaks "someone else in the audience caught my eye. Even though you placed the highest bid table 14, I frankly have not even the slightest interest in doing this for a random for my first day at work. So wait until next time."

The owner doesn't look happy, but sighs "Bidder at table 14, your money will be returned to you in the morning."

"I chose the man in green hoodie at table 13. With the condition that he doesn't bid and is okay with me not choosing him for the rest of the year." The performer smiles.

The owner looks happier after checking how much Dream bid "The performer will escort you shortly table 13."

Lets just say Dream is definitely happy about this, grabbing his jacket and bag, quickly following his escort to a small, almost cramped, room that smells of cigarettes.

He blushes brightly at the display of various toys, and notices the pole in the corner.

"You're adorable you know that?" White Gold says smirking.

He swallows.

"Tell me, what should I perform for you?"

~♥~

;D

#dream was taken #punz #drunz #pole dancing #strip club implied #sfw #we don't discriminate in my blog #oneshot #suggestive implications #ambiguous ending #hannahxxrose #karl jacobs #sapnap #karlnap #georgenotfound implied #just newbies showing off the final product of their training #YushoxStuff

[inkofamethyst]

October 19, 2022

[May 5, 2019]

hey let’s play a fun game: you dare me to go to sleep and i do it in under five minutes

[today]

That was from an old old old draft but I think it’s relevant.  Also what was I so tired for in May of my senior year?  The show was done, no marching band.. maybe it was those four APs I took?  I think AP tests happen around the first week of May?

UMM.  Paradise Killer??  The premise of that game is actually insane.  Like, insane in a way that I can’t even consider how someone would come up with it.  I do kinda wanna play it now though.  And by “play it” I of course mean “watch a lets-play” naturally.

A fairly famous comedian came to campus for a show a few days ago and he was not funny lol (and based on what I knew about him, I (and my parents) figured it was going to go that way).  Like, the warmup acts had me in tears with laughter, and I sat through his whole set waiting for him to actually, you know, not rattle off jokes I’ve heard before???  Half of the jokes were unoriginal lines I’ve seen online elsewhere, and none of them made me laugh so hard my sides hurt.  I smiled, I chuckled, I left feeling disappointed.  I’ve gotten better comedy from college students, from middle school honors students who didn’t want to do classwork.  They were all like, two sentence buildup followed by a punchline and then a non-sequitur to another joke with the same structure on a totally different topic.  Good comedy has a flow to it, it’s in conversation with itself... This guy just stood there awkwardly at points and openly admitted that he was thinking of what to say next.  Granted, I am not a comedian.  Comedy was always difficult for me to really grasp in theatre, I couldn’t do it.  But this man gets paid to be funny.  So.

Speaking of non-sequiturs, I saw a tiktok about how some girl was reading her journal from senior year and she was so filled with despair during college app season that she expressed that the process needed to be outlawed and you know what??  I’m with her on that one.  Barring the end of 2020/beginning of 2021 which was a nationally traumatic event compounded on top of some personal stuff, the college app season was probably the lowest I’ve ever been from a mental health standpoint over an extended period of time.  I’m talking months of bleakness.  Something has to change, but I sure don’t know what.

Nowadays I’m not feeling that same kind of despair, I’m just tired.

I did receive another soft rejection today (they weren’t taking another student) which I much prefer to paying an application fee and working on a personal statement and then receiving a rejection that I could not have done anything better to change.  Also I wasn’t very heavily invested in the guy anyway, so I’m guuci.  The other dude I could be interested in at that department looks too close to death tbh.

Also it’s actually really hard to try to “fill up” my schedule with classes in case I can’t TA.  Like I’ll need two more “real classes” when I register in two weeks but I simply do not have the desire to ~think~.  Maybe I’ll see if I can take a real bioanth class through the consortium.  But then I’ll still need another option.  Obviously I’m hoping my Master Plan works out, but I want a solid backup plan just in case, you know?

Last thing, I’m currently in the middle of CR C3E36 and I think it could be the best Critical Role episode I’ve seen yet out of all the campaigns.  I’ve been so smiley, so giggly, so positively joyful this whole episode, I just feel fantastic.  I’m having literally so much fun with this.  And I mean, there have, of course, been great episodes in the past, but this is sort of like a major crossover event, like Avengers: Infinity War, just an overwhelming feeling of :D and I haven’t even finished the episode yet.

Today I’m thankful that I went to the anthropology meet and greet today!!  Partly because there was food there and while I do have stuff prepared in the fridge, I also love getting free food, especially when it’s not pizza lol (not that pizza is bad, just that so many events serve pizza because it’s simple).  Partly because I got to connect with some of the people in my classes and they’re really cool!  Partly because I got to connect with a professor for whom I would like to TA next semester, and I should be able to get a good section for that (aka not the 8 am ones).  I’m also thankful for my mom, like so so so thankful and I hate the fact that I can be so neurotic but UGH I’m just so thankful that she cares for me enough to not turn me away or shut down my feelings.  I’m also thankful that my ecoanth prof and my archaeology prof canceled class tomorrow (two class day!!)!  I’m thankful that my presentation in archaeology went well (I think I might’ve almost convinced my prof that I didn’t do the readings the night before (but also he’s not the type of guy to care even if I did)).  Last but not least, I’m thankful to finally have finished twisting my hair.  As cute as the headscarf looked, it was getting a little old.  I just wish sometimes that my hair didn’t shrink up so much, but ultimately I don’t mind because a) I have hair and b) I can do a lot with it and c) it’s relatively healthy.  Lots of things to be thankful for today.

[tigerathleticmissionexperience]

Thursday’s recap of the Tiger Volleyball team’s TAME trip to Chile is provided by Junior Hannah Perry.

“We had another early morning at Grace College, arriving at 9:00 AM. We started the day by attending a welcoming ceremony from the students. We presented an ETBU flag to the school and led them in the Tiger clap. Following this we spent some time with the kids just playing and hanging out outside. We played soccer, gave out stickers, and continued to get the know the students. After this we split our team into two groups, where the first group went and observed some classes, while also getting to mingle with the kids and helping with English. The second group had a large group of students in the gym and we helped teach the younger kids how to pass a volleyball, while the older kids played soccer outside with some of the girls. I was helping my kids learn to pass a volleyball and while there was a big language barrier with this group, they listened to everything I said about how to hold their hands to pass a ball. They loved chasing the ball down for me to toss it to them for them to try it out.

Afterward we went to Chapel with the 11th and 12th graders and were able to worship with the student body and heard a short word from the principal of the school. Lillie Hill gave her testimony and shared a word about not putting our identity in our sports as athletes. Following that I gave my testimony and it was a good experience to share with people who have been experiencing some of the same things. Our time in Chapel came to an end with Dr. Blackburn sharing a devotional about Jeremiah 29:11, which is a verse that is hung on a banner in the school. The Lord has a plan for each and every persons lives and we just need to build our foundation on Him. At the end of Chapel we had a time for students to come up and talk to the team and get prayed for or just have a conversation about the message. The movement in the room started very slowly as only about 4 people got up, but as courage grew and the Lord continued to move, most everyone got out of their chair at some point. Great conversations were had, some tears were shed, and the prayer was powerful.

Shortly after we went to ate lunch at the school and they had a room set up with drinks and we grabbed our meals and fellowshipped together. After this we took a short break and then hosted our volleyball clinic. Most of the kids from the day before returned, so we got to continue our process of helping them better their skills.

One of the most significant things I remembered from this camp was helping a girl learn to serve over the net as well as getting to pray with two different steudents at the end of this clinic. Google translate was our best friend for this conversation. They were both Christian, so it was just a sweet moment to get to pray over them and their walk with the Lord. Once we finished this clinic we had another small break and then grabbed our things to head to our final game in Chile. We played Club Morano, who had four players that currently play on the Chilean National team and it was a very different experience than your typical game. The warmup was different and there was new rules we were not familiar about, but regardless we made it work. This included me playing backrow and serving which is not something I typically do, but it was great.

We had so much fun with the crowd that LOVED cheering for all of our big points. We won in five sets and it was a very exciting game. We ended the night with a dinner at McDonalds and ice cream. Then we headed back to our hotel and spent the rest of the night sharing testimonies and things that have been on our hearts until around 2:00 AM. Today was special and throughout this trip every single person has mentioned how much we have been impacted by the Chilean people, as well as each other.”

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary42

10/19-20/2023

thursday - friday

i saw my friends today, it was nice.

but now it's late and i'm tired again, i went into 2 songs today and i think i made them a lot better though. i should stop saying fixed, cuz i am in a different stage now. there's less wrong, it's more about getting the sounds precisely "there" i guess.

anyways tonight was fun. i saw my friend's band at the same pizza place we ended up at the other night, and i got more free pizza, which makes me feel yucky but whatever, i got to eat enough. this new band i saw tonight was like, they really wanted to be nirvana, pretty funny i guess, hope they do something more interesting in the future they're all obviously capable musicians and stuff. my friend's band played a new song of theirs he was talking about a lot, i really liked it, i think it's one of their best for sure at this point. trying to think, a lot of the time we spent at the pizza place was just kind of standing around and bullshitting. i thought watching my friend about how much i would like to do anything live, i feel like there's some sense i have of time running out in that way, i wonder if everything i want will just fail to materialize, and i'll be a huge failure creatively.

hopefully not.

at my friend's place i messed w/ vcv rack and made horrible noises, and watched him fuck with it, and he made slightly more musical sounds, it's hard to make it really musical, i feel like, so i like just making it do fucked up textural stuff.

maybe tomorrow i should try to just transpose stuff from my note's app into my story, and work on writing more than music, which is proceeding at a fine pace, i can take a break i think, i should do that, and try to figure out what i need to do there to get closer to a draft, i really want that to be finished. i want to finish something. or get to the first finishing of something that will go on for a while. every project goes on so long, my perfectionism maybe leads to more wasted time. it sucks but i can't help it.

i also think i'm psychosomatically making myself feel itchy because i'm paranoid the hotel room had bed bugs even though i sat there and checked and flipped the bed up and everything, and i'm scared my gf's mom's dog gave me fleas too or something. i'm just so scared and uncomfortable, and tomorrow i have to cook and stuff because we got home so late.

and now it's 3 am which is like my bed time now and i should just sleep now so i don't have to struggle or something through all of tomorrow. it will be good to sleep. i also get to work on another collaborative poem tomorrow too. that might be a good warmup for writing. i am going to sit down and really write i think, before i shower, i'll sit there and do it. i might need coffee or something. maybe just tea. i just have to focus. transposing notes out is a good start, and getting things to slot in. ughhgh.

i make everything sound like busywork, it's all just about realizing everything is manageable, nothing is too much trouble, it's not overwhelming, i can do it.

anyways i need to sleep, today was a good day but i'm sitting here thinking myself into being depressed about something and letting all my paranoia make myself feel worse than i really should i think. i don't think i'm allergic to anything in pizza. idk what it could be, what if i have some kind of disease and it kills me. that would be really sad. i will have done nothing with my life.

so like, byebye!!!

[semi-sketchy]

Only made it to the second trial, but I am done for today and making soup. I seriously need it. No spoilers.

The writing so far is...okay? Like genuinely Amy feels so much more alive than base game. Knuckles is actually written quite well, Tails is there, I actually like the few lines Sage has gotten and Sonic even has a couple I like! I haven't done the side stories yet. For ease of recording, I'd like to have the island mapped so I can see where they all are and hit 'em in a row, but some of these challenges require other characters and I've only got Sonic right now.

The music is also pretty nice, Knuckles' music is especially good.

Now the bad...actually playing. All the characters control AWFUL. They're so slippery, it makes Heroes look tight. You legit let go of the control stick and it takes a full 2 seconds for them to slow to a stop. I've tried messing with sliders and nothing seems to affect this.

Amy has been the most tolerable because her hover can catch you. Tails is alright and Knuckles....Knuckles... I expected him to control similar to how he does in SA1/SA2, but this is wrong. To get his glide, it's 3 times you have to hit the A button and hold it on the last press, in the same way you'd drop dash. It feels so weird and his glide control shares the same slippiness as ground control. You wouldn't think gliding around a square pillar would be hard, but The End was easier than this.

Genuinely if there is SOMETHING that fixes this, let me know because it's ruining my experience. I started having fun again as soon as I got Sonic back and I don't want the game to take him from me again.

BUT Tails and Knuckles share a problem Amy doesn't have: their special moves have warmup animations. Meaning when you go to fly with Tails, he doesn't just go up like in SA1 or the classic games, he instead stays still for a moment THEN flies up. Knuckles has to do a twirl before he glides. It's so clunky and shocking after Amy just...floats. No warmup animation it just happens. Like y'all had SA1 and SA2 to build off and this is how you did it?

Also cyberspace has a few more interesting things going on? But being cyberspace I really can't bring myself to care about it.

I think the new stuff and the insane island challenges are fun, but only as Sonic. I just can't stand controlling the other characters.

#sonic frontiers #sonic frontiers spoilers #i guess just for the video showing gameplay but it's really not spoilery #sassy plays sonic #the final horizon