#I have like the first 30 in a note on my phone lmao it was ridiculous

[trentlife]

mesmerised ☆

summary: in which you and jude go on your first vacation together and hes mesmerised at how amazing you look in a bikini and can't keep his hands off you....

masterlist

warnings: SMUT (18+), fluff, language

authors note: my first ever smut fic,y/n is on pill, I'll improve over time I promise lmao, enjoy🫣

________________

the sound of the jet landing in the 30 degree heat of ibiza disturbed you from sleeping comfortably on top of your boyfriends toned chest, while his hand rested softly on your butt.

"we're here love" your boyfriend spoke, as you lifted your head off his chest.

"wow it's bright" you smiled with your sleepy eyes.

"i cant wait for this break with you, our first holiday together" you looked up and smiled to your boyfriend, as he leaned in and gave your smooth lips a peck and wrapped his arms around you as you leaned into him.

as you stepped off the jet the heat shocked you, it was like being hit by fire. you had your bag in your hand and the other on the barrier going down the stairs with jude waiting at the bottom for you with a smile on his face.

as you got into the taxi to take you to the resort, you couldn't stop starting at your boyfriend, and how lucky you was to have him in your life, he was truly perfect for you.

jude placed a hand on your thigh and squeezed it and gave your hand a kiss.

"so what are we doing when we get there?" you lifted your leg over his and began a conversation.

"pool? beach? jet ski?" he glanced at you waiting for an answer.

"maybe pool? first day means more chill day in my opinion" you answered.

____________

when the car pulled up to the resort your mouth gasped at how beautiful it was, waterfalls, palm trees, it was perfect.

you both got your suitcases and made your way into reception and the cool breeze of air con hit you and cooled you both down and you both giggled.

"hello sir are you staying with us?" the receptionist asked

"hi I have a booking, under the name bellingham for two for a week" your boyfriend said running his hands through his hair.

once she had sorted everything out she then gave the room key to jude, and wished for the both to have a nice relaxing stay.

"also can I just say, what a lovely couple you two make" the receptionist looked at you both and complimented.

you both thanked her and looked at each other with a squinting face then smiled.

you made your way up to the room and on the bed was "welcome y/n and jude" and you couldn't help but awe.

"j i love it here already" you walked over to your man and wrapped your arms around his neck and gave him kisses all over his face as his hands lent down to your lower back.

"we need to enjoy it in the best way possible" he winked at you and slapped your bum and started laughing.

"oh shush you" as you rolled your eyes and walked over to you suitcase to grab a bikini.

you decided to go for a red rose colour which had a good chain on the front of the bottom. your favourite one.

you where nervous, even though you and jude had been together now for 6 months he had still never seen you in a bikini, thoughts where rushing through your head, but you stuck to thinking of the positives.

you put your hair up into a curly pony tail as it was way to hot to have it down and put some sunglasses on your head and touched up on your makeup.

as you left the bathroom, he was just sat on the end of the bed in his trunks on his phone, and as he heard you come out he laid his eyes onto you.

his mouth dropped as he placed his phone on the bed and told you to go over to him.

"oh my god" he said, he couldn't stop looking at you, he was mesmerised.

"why are you this beautiful? give me a spin" he told you as you gave him a little twirl.

you placed your arms on his shoulders as your legs where in between his as he sat down and his hands laid on your bum, and he kept giving it a squeeze every few seconds.

you leant in and gave him many pecks on his lips. as you where about to let go, he pulled you in for more and more. until his big hands met the bikini tie at your back.

you stopped him, and removed his hands away from yours.

"erm what are you doing?" he asked confusingly.

"later jude, i promise." you told him and he kept his patience.

you both made your way down to the pool area and placed your towels down on one of the little canopy huts which where comfier than sun beds.

alls you wanted to do was have a little nap before you maybe wanted to get in the pool with the sun shining on you.

"put this on me please j" you told him giving him the bottle of sun cream so he could do your back.

he rubbed it in smoothly and then suddenly stopped.

"i cant wait to rip this off you tonight babe" he whispered down your ear sending shivers up your spine and you jokingly slapped his muscular thighs.

once he was done, you laid back and relaxed, and had an hours sleep, with your boy leaning on your chest with his hand round you waist, which done you well as you where tired from the early flight.

you woke up by the sound of a big splash in the pool, you leaned up to see jude in the pool shaking the water off his hair.

"you getting in with me?" he spoke splashing water up to you.

"fine, but I'm not getting my hair wet!" you told him and made your way down to the pool steps.

he was waiting for you at the bottom and as you got in you wrapped your legs around his waist and arms around his neck as his hands roamed around your silk body.

"living the best live out here aren't we" you said and he nodded pouting his lips. you leaned in and pressed a long peck onto his smooth lips.

"well someone wants all the kisses today" you said laughing.

"could you blame me?" he smirked.

you purposely fixed your bikini top and shown him half of your boob to tease him.

"oops sorry about that" you giggled sarcastically.

"no not funny let's go" he said seriously.

he lifted you out of the pool and got all of your stuff.

as you got back to the room he only said four words to you, "in the shower now" licking his lips.

"ok sir" you spoke, trying to annoy him.

he put the shower on a medium temperature and you both got in.

he started pressing kisses all over your neck, then chest and then thighs, making your eyes roll back.

he placed his hands around you neck and lifted your face up and wasted no time and kissed you passionately as the water fell on your face and he then slipped his tongue into your mouth.

as his tongue danced away in your mouth, his teeth bit on your bottom lip and he grabbed your bum.

"wanted to do this all day" he smirked at you, placing his hands on your bikini top tie.

he undone the tie eagerly, like there was no tomorrow.

he threw the top on the floor and cupped both of your breasts and licked.

your hands met his shorts and you began untying him, until he sprung free.

"in your mouth now please baby" he wanted it bad, and you could tell.

you did what he said, and got down on to your knees and places your hands on his hips, you firstly licked his tip, and then took his length into your mouth. you gradually took him in and out and you could hear his moans as his hands ran through your hair.

"y/n im gonna come" he told you, warning you.

you picked up the pace until you could feel him come in you, and you swallowed it.

you stood up, and all you could feel was his hands run down to your waist and he pulled your pants down.

"i need you jude, like right now" you begged him.

he didn't waist any time, just like you didn't when he was begging you before, so he eagerly bent you over and felt all over your body.

he placed his finger on your clit and rubbed it until you moaned.

"please jude, i need you" you begged more.

a moment had past, and he was inside of you, you forgot how good he felt, how big he felt inside of you. he started off at a slow pace and then picked it up when he could see that you needed it quicker.

moans where leaving your lips faster than your heartbeat.

"j, im gonna come" you told him as you held on to you boobs as they where annoying you.

"come on my length baby" he said to you.

he then went quicker until you did, and he did likewise, and you then slowly reached your orgasm.

you where both breathing heavily, as he slowly and gently pulled out of you. you have to admit shower sex was one of your favourite.

"happy now?" you looked at him and smiled.

"round two now?" he looked at you.

"oh piss off" you said laughing and cleaning you both up, and also the shower.

you both took it in turns to have a shower and clean up and you both got into bed and snuggled up.

"thanks for the best first day, I love you so much" you kissed him.

"I love you more and more"

the end🤭

if you have any tips for my writing, pls always msg them 🫧

#explore #explorepage #jude bellingham imagines #jude bellingham fics #judebellingham stories #jude bellingham #jude bellingham smut #explore more

[multifandomslxt]

NCT 127 and their sugar daddy ratings Pt.2

part 3 coming soon

Moon Taeil

Solid 10/10 (THE perfect candidate...as long as you listen.)

He's a finance bro lmaooo

he makes bank

and could easily open his own business

but

"it's too much of a bother and then I won't have time to spend with you"

you met in a cafe

you spilled hot coffee all over his laptop

and while you were apologizing he said it was fine

and pulled another one out of his bag.

lmao.

Y'all kicked it off though.

where Yuta is Possessive

Taeil is the strictest mf sugar daddy out there bih

he speaks once

so you better fucking listen

if he says

"no, you can't have that y/n"

do not

and I repeat

DO NOT TEST THIS MAN!

he will break your fucking back

"you are well aware that I do not like to repeat myself so be a good fucking girl and quit your fucking whining."

he gets angry in a calm way

and we all know how calm men fuck when they get angry lmaoooo.

It's important to also note that

when he takes care of you

he takes care of you for the long run.

invests some of your allowances into stocks

btw your monthly allowance is a 100k

"omg but he's just in finance"

I forgot to mention that he owns a lot of stock as well

hence, he makes a damn good amount of money

you only got 100k because you begged him to

LOWER it.

if it were up to him you would've been getting more than that.

with that being said

most of the time you don't even get to spend most of your money

why?

because he is ALWAYS buying you shit.

Mark Lee

an excellent 8.5/10 (he's a good man Savannah!!!! just don't tease him lol.)

He is an author.

a very successful one at that.

he doesn't even write books for the money no more

at this point, it's just for fun lmaoo

Yall met at one of his book signings

surprisingly made the first move

by writing his phone number on the back of your signed book

it was horrible handwriting btw you couldn't make out if it was a 3 or an 8

obviously, you contacted him (because who tf wouldn't??)

and yall kicked it off

and started dating

yes he is Also your boyfriend and Sugar daddy

he is definitely the type to spend on you only when you're in a serious relationship

he wouldn't do the plain sugar daddy -sugar baby relationship

hence the 8.5

if you haven't listened to Radio by Lana del Rey

then please do because

your entire relationship is the exact vibe that song gives off

has an obsession with buying you diamonds every time he travels

spends on you to the point where you have to BEG him

to let you at least buy coffee for yourself

once bought you an entire coffee shop because you said you liked the Caramel Machiatto one time.

he's so damn playful and dorky most of the time honestly

you have to initiate skinship most of the time

unless you tease him...

chileeeeeeee

now about teasing him...

you know that shit we like to pull

talking bout "You wouldn't know what to do with all this"

and

"you can't handle me"

yeahhh that shit don't fly over here lmaooo

he has fucked you in the car at the side of the road multiple times

just because you like to talk big.

"Cock so deep in your pussy and all of a sudden you can't speak huh?"

"repeat what you said, I can't handle this? the fuck am I doing right now then?"

listen he fucks you so hard you actually scream and cry out

he becomes ruthless\so different from what you're usually used to

if he feels guilty about being too rough

he buys you one of three things

a house

a plane ticket

or another diamond...

Kim Doyoung

please you already know 12/10 (The man himself. Stict as hell though)

He is 100% on the Forbes 30 under 30 list

The man is Powerful, influential, and Wealthy.

he's also really nice and sweet in public

even doing volunteer work

He could've stopped working by 23

but he didn't and now he has money to last generations

yall met at an animal shelter where both of you were volunteering

He immediately took a liking to you

yes...he's a boyfriend/sugar daddy as well

HE IS TRADITIONAL.

You my love, will not lift a finger

you wanna go somewhere?

his chauffeur will drive you

you wanna get some new clothes?

LV, Chanel, YSL Etc.

You hungry?

he has the most expensive restaurants on speed dial

one thing bout Doyoung

he not finna let you stay in no damn crappy apartment

IMMEDIATE UPGRADE

The type to get pissed off if your old apartment locks aren't as secure as they need to be.

I can confidently say that you have the power to turn a morally good man into a fucking criminal.

WHEN IT COMES TO YOU THE MAN WILL DO ANYTHING!

You would argue with him that he babies you too much

which would piss him tf off

you made a mistake once and ghosted him for a week

Nigga showed up at your apartment @3 in the morning

demanding an explanation

"you better have a damn good explanation for acting like a fucking brat."

he is so fucking stern with you

it turned you tf on (Can't blame you)

he is 100% fucking you on the spot

"Spoiling you is something I'm supposed to do. So shut your fucking mouth and take it."

Made sure to let you know that the next time you ghost him (there wont be a next time)

he'd fuck you in his office with the blinds open.

#nct imagines #nct yuta #nct fanfic #nct taeyong #nct dream #nct doyoung #nct fluff #nct 127 #nct smut #nct scenarios #nct mark #nct taeil #nct jaehyun #nct jungwoo #nct johnny #nct haechan #multifandomslxt

[luaspersona]

All Night│knj (m)

pairing ↠ namjoon x reader (f. reader) genre ↠ college!au; brother’s best friend!au; strangers to lovers; smut; one-shot summary ↠ when your brother bails on you, you have to find another way to entertain yourself for the night and Kim Namjoon just so happens to be a great company. rating ↠ +18 warnings ↠ alcohol consumption; flirting; sexual tension; the reader and Namjoon are shameless; explicit smut: consent king!Namjoon, a bit of thigh riding, nipple play, fingering, oral (f. and brief m. receiving), spit kink, dirty talk, pet names, praise kink, marking, light choking, begging, protected sex, multiple orgasms, cumshot, cum eating word count ↠ 12k (yeah, well. what can i say 💀) estimated reading time ↠ 30 minutes notes ↠ ok, so. i know i said i would upload this yesterday, but i got caught up with work and wasn't able to edit it one last time like i intended, and i hope it's ok that i'm dropping it now instead 🥺 note² ↠ also, this took so much longer than it should have, and it’s huge 😭 i’m so sorry y’all, but i swear it’s pure filth, the smut is just ridiculously long bc i don’t have any ounce of self control lmao 🫣 note³ ↠ ok, i'll let you get to it, now 🥰 crossposted ↠ read on ao3

navigation | masterlist | permanent taglist | tell me your thoughts ♡

As the good sister you are, you hate Jimin most of the time.

The sparse moments in which you feel love for your brother are the only downside of going long enough without seeing him, because you start to forget why Jimin studying on the other side of the country is actually crucial for your relationship. Recently, for example, you've been missing him, and that's not something you can just let happen.

So, when your boss sent you to Seoul to attend a handful of meetings during the week, you took the opportunity to meet up with your brother for the first time since he got into college and make new oh-so-sweet memories with Jimin so you can go on with not missing him for another semester or so.

The club he chose is far from the hotel your company paid for, but it's been a minute since you last toured Seoul's alluring night, so you decide to walk. You spot the large mono. neon sign Jimin described around thirty minutes later, and you quickly step out of the chilly night into the club's cozy interior.

You fish for your phone inside your purse, messaging a simple im here to your brother before finding your way to the bar. You hop onto one of the empty stools, smoothing the fabric of your pants and adjusting your cute top that is slightly hiked up from your walking.

You order a beer to start the night, and with its bitterness coating your tongue, you turn around to take in the environment. You have to admit Jimin was right about this place. Although really crowded, it feels comfortable; the dim lightning casting a cozy veil over the bodies pressed together on the dance floor, the playlist good and loud enough to soothe any thoughts that might threaten a good night out.

[10:31] baby j 😗: on my way

Upon reading his response, you can't contain the large smile that betrays your anxiety. It finally hits you how long it has been since you last saw your brother. You don't even know what color his hair is now, how he's enjoying his first semester, if he found another apartment, if he got that job he told you about last month.

Aren't you supposed to know these things? God, you're a terrible older sister.

“Hey! What's up, noona?” A deep voice calls beside you, startling you a bit.

You turn, catching sight of a tall man greeting the bartender before he slides onto the stool next to yours.

After you take a quick look at him, you find yourself blinking back a couple times, simply unable to divert your attention: you've never seen such a fine man in your life.

As he leans over the counter, his broad torso is evident even through his shirt, large shoulders making him seem way too big for that stool. And his thighs?! Those thick — thick — thighs. You could die a happy woman between them, almost drooling when he spreads his legs to make himself comfortable.

“I'll just have the usual!” He orders, prompting a nod in response.

You know you're ogling, but fuck if this man isn't just perfect.

He pushes his hair back, long fingers tangling in his black locks in an failed attempt to clear the strands off his eyes, but in a successful endeavor to make you suck in a breath. Your attention falls to his lips — plump rosy lips that shine once he wets them with the tip of his tongue.

You tilt up, finding his dark almond-shaped eyes — piercing back directly at you.

You tense a little under his scrutiny, but you don't turn away, holding his gaze as you sip your beer.

“You know it's rude to stare, right?” He teases, making you smile immediately. 

Thing is: you are a Park, so flirting was like second nature to you. There's no scenario in which you dismiss this perfect lead he just gave you.

Besides, Jimin tends to be late, right? Yeah, he said he was on his way, sure, but who knows if he won't go to his place to freshen up before coming to meet you or something — what could be so bad about entertaining this beautiful man by your side?

“Oh, I'm sorry. You’re gorgeous, so it’s easy to get distracted.” He snickers, not expecting your response but definitely enjoying it. “But it's ok, I’ll let you stare back so we're even. Here, let me make it easier for you.”

You wiggle your body so you're facing him, closing your eyes playfully.

But he keeps his eyes locked in your face, as he's already regarded you before making his way to the bar. He noticed you when you approached the stool. He noticed the way your pants hug your legs just well enough for him to be able to delineate your figure. He noticed how really fucking cute your top is, loving how it bares the skin of your neck for him to picture how nice it would be to taint the soft flesh. 

You are hot, and Namjoon is a practical man, so he was already trying to read you, maybe wait a bit to see if you came with someone, if your body language was inviting or reclusive.

What eventually pushed him to come over was the way your face lit up when you smiled at your phone and he found himself grinning in response.

So now, even with your eyes shut, and your body closer for him to shamelessly gawk at, it's your smile that he's focused on.

“So?” You open your eyes again.

He cocks his head, regarding you.

“I like your earrings.” He taunts, and you scoff in feigned offense.

“That's your review?”

The bartender shows up again, placing a bottle of soju and a single glass in front of the man, who pours a dose for himself before drinking it.

He looks at you, all pretty and pouty, and grins before he's leaning in.

“I think I’d like to paint you, princess.” When did his voice become so husky? “Is that something you'd be interested in?”

This close, he catches the goosebumps that crawl up your arms, but your reply is unaffected.

“Well, how good of a painter are you, baby?” 

You can feel his hot breath fanning your jaw.

“I'd say I'm really good, but it really depends on you.”

“What about me.”

He shifts back to his prior position, a smirk on his face.

“If you behave.”

“And if I don't?” He drags his tongue over his lip.

“Then that’s even better.”

“Then I'm definitely interested, baby.”

He shoots you a shit-eating grin. God, are those fucking dimples?

“Well, what is your review?”

“Uhm, I like your lips. Almost want to know what they taste like.”

“Almost?”

“Of course! Need to know if you're a good boy first.” You say, matter-of-factly, tilting your head to finish your beer.

His eyes follow your body when you reach for another glass over the counter. “I also think a bottle of soju seems like a lot for one person.”

Damn, you are hot.

“Well, I'm a big guy.” He says, but pours it in your cup nonetheless.

“I can surely see that.” You huff, making him laugh.

“I'm Namjoon, by the way.”

You introduce yourself, taking the hand he extends to you.

The feeling of his large palm enveloping yours take your mind to other places. Places where that same hand is running up your legs, reaching for your zipper and slipping inside your—

“You're here alone?”

Before you can respond, your phone vibrates over at the counter, and you reach for it, checking a new message in your brother's chat.

“Gimme a sec.”

[10:47] baby j 😗: im rly rly sorry, sth came up, wont be able to make it tn

[10:47] you: You alright?

[10:48] baby j 😗: yeah

[10:48] you: Then why cant you come?

[10:49] baby j 😗: …

[10:49] baby j 😗: i met up w this really cute guy from my class and i wanna fuck him

[10:50] you: You bailing on me to fuck???

[10:51] baby j 😗: im so so sorry 🥺

[10:51] you: No you aint 😡

[10:52] baby j 😗: my bad lol

[10:53] baby j 😗: gtg tho, see u tmrw

“You ok?” Namjoon asks, as soon as you finish your glass of soju after sending Jimin a bunch of angry face emojis.

You realize you're frowning, and immediately ease the scowl on your face.

“Yeah. My brother just stood me up.”

“Shit. I'm sorry.”

“It's ok.”

Namjoon is quiet for a second.

“So you're leaving?”

You honestly thought Jimin would take longer to piss you off this time, but when you meet Namjoon's uncertain eyes, you can't really feel too bad about yourself right now. You smile mischievously. 

“Giving up already? Oh baby, I thought you could hold up.” You pout.

“I would never even think of leaving you unsatisfied.” The grin returns to his face, where it belongs. “Besides, who would I share my soju with?”

You pretend to search around the club.

“There are plenty of people here.”

“I'm sure of it, but there’s this beautiful girl who’s talking big to me and looks awfully uncomfortable in her clothes and I happen to be a very good boy who just wants to help her out of them.”

“Didn’t think of you as the romantic type.”

“What can I say, I’m as sweet as they come.”

“Then what do you say I help you finish this bottle before you give me a hand, sweet boy?”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Just one thing, though.” He turns to you, attentive. “Sweet isn’t really my thing. I like it rough.” You wink.

“Damn, princess.” He chuckles. “I like you.”

Namjoon prided himself on being a good flirt. He liked to take his sweet time with his partners, teasing and instigating in such a way that any fleeting touch would ignite the skin.

But you? You were humbling him.

Barely two cups into the bottle, he decided to take you to dance. He assumed that having his hands on your thighs, gripping your hips, and his lips brushing gently over your neck would help to shut that witty mouth of yours, but as you keep grinding your ass on his cock he finds himself guiding you closer, spellbound by the way your body frames his.

Namjoon's thoughts are clouded by your hips, the feeling of your skin beneath his fingertips turning him the fuck on, making him feel like a horny teenager.

A thin layer of sweat covers your bodies, the loud music a mere excuse for you two to keep pressing into each other.

Namjoon can hear your shaky breaths as you turn a bit on his hold, lips nearing his ear as you nib lightly at the flesh — which, paired with the way your fingers grab his hair, is enough to prompt a quiet moan out of his plumpy lips, one that you wouldn’t have listen weren’t you so close to him.

He should be ashamed of how fast he’s giving in, but he honestly doesn’t give a fuck. He just wants more. So he lets you do as you please — even if just for now.

Namjoon leisurely rolls his pelvis on your ass, large palms coming up to circle your waist and it’s his turn to listen to the pretty whine you give him. Namjoon closes his eyes, trying to focus.

“Wanna kiss you so bad, babe. Can I kiss you?”

You nod immediately and Namjoon wastes no time in grabbing your hand in his and quickly guiding you out of the dance floor, cutting through the sea of bodies with clear purpose.

You two make your way to a hall near what you assume is the backdoor of the club, poorly illuminated but also a bit more quiet.

Namjoon gently pushes you towards the wall, your back meeting its cold surface. The way he stares at you resembles nothing the sweet eyes you met at the bar — now dark with lust, nothing short of intimidating.

And you would be lying if you said that didn’t spur a heat below your belly.

“Are we allowed to be back here?” A coy smile crosses Namjoon’s face.

“That’s what you're thinking right now?”

“What should I be thinking, sweet boy?”

A huffed laugh passes his lips, and Namjoon steps closer. One of his arms comes to rest near your face.

“In a good ass excuse for the show you pulled back there.” His low register sends a shiver down your spine.

On second thought? Maybe you shouldn’t have teased him that much, but— ah, who are you kidding?

“Thing is, babe, I’m not sorry.”

Namjoon shakes his head, taking a step closer.

With his body so near, you’re suddenly hyper aware of everything. You close your eyes when his breathing ghosts over your skin, feeling goosebumps trail over your arms.

You wait for his next action. You wait for a touch or a reprimand, but it never comes.

Wait.

He didn’t… leave you, did he?

You’re mortified for a second, but as if sensing your distress Namjoon brings his fingertips to graze over your sides. The sudden touch startles you a bit.

When his hands reach your upper arm, you hear him let out a sharp, frustrated breath, prompting you to open your eyes.

“You are fucking beautiful.”

You want to reciprocate his praise, but the words seem lost in your throat. This close you feel drunk on his beauty, dazed by his full, sinful lips and intoxicated by his heat as your bodies orbit each other.

Are you imagining him?

Namjoon’s hand continues to travel up your body, stopping at your jaw.

The pad of his thumb traces your chin, reaching your bottom lip and slowly pulling it off of your anxious bite, soothing the flesh in a tender movement.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks again, tone serious.

You smile.

“At this point, you better.”

And so he does, plumpy lips touching yours with surprising tenderness while his hands rest on your neck. You are taken aback by his softness, not reacting for a second before pulling him closer to bathe in his warmth.

The kiss unwinds all the tension off of you, replacing it with lust. The docility of his actions makes them hypnotic, your mind disoriented with his skin grazing yours — but you’ve never been a patient woman.

You slide your hands through his chest, trailing his defined torso before grabbing his shirt in your fists. You break the kiss and he lifts an eyebrow in question.

“Thought I told you sweet isn’t really my thing, big boy.”

Namjoon chuckles. “So impatient.”

This time Namjoon smashes your lips together, kissing you with hunger.

He presses you further against the wall and you stumble with his eagerness, a satisfied hum leaving your throat.

His hands explore your body, going through your neck, your shoulders, your hips and then your ass, grabbing a handful and giving it a hard squeeze.

He opens your mouth with his, and you tilt your head to deepen the kiss. His breath is ragged when he slips his tongue inside, and you two take barely a second to match each other's rhythm.

You suck the soju's sweetness off his tongue, and he drinks the bitter memory of your beer. Forget the alcohol — he's the one inebriating your thoughts.

You feel every inch of his body, pressed flush against his broad torso as his waist smoothly drags over yours, making it almost impossible for you to keep your whiny sounds down your throat.

You make no effort, on the other hand, to resist the urge to bite his pillowy flesh, nibbing with maybe more force than you should, but grinning in satisfaction when you earn a sweet groan in response.

You entangle your arms around his neck, pulling your bodies closer in a desperate attempt to get more of him, and he seems just as insatiable, slithering his arms behind your back to press your fronts.

Namjoon breaks the kiss, but he gives you no time to complain before you feel his mouth on your neck, sucking and biting between licks over the sweaty skin.

Your hands find purchase on his hair, grabbing his locks with force as arousal gushes out of you.

Namjoon's determined to mark all over your neck. After he sucks a hickey on the spot between your ear and your jaw, you just fucking know he's sporting the smuggest smile at the way his actions shove the prettiest of yelps out of you.

He levels his face with yours, but avoids your lips when you try to resume the kiss. 

“You’re awfully quiet, baby girl” he points out when you frown “have nothing smart to say?”

“How about fuck you?”

“I plan on it, don’t worry.” A cocky grin takes his lips. “And although you look gorgeous trying to be in control, I wanna hear you. I wanna hear how good I’m making you feel, baby.”

He doesn’t really give you an option when he slots his leg between yours, large thigh pressing up your core and pushing an audible whimper out of you. The sound makes Namjoon grab a handful of your ass and use it to grind you along his thigh — his fucking thigh.

You grab the back of his head, pulling him to you as you smother his lips with yours, but this time Namjoon eats all your moans, feasting on the sounds you so obediently grant him.

You’re bathing in each other’s heat and with a particularly delicious roll of your hips, your core brushes on his growing bulge. You suck in a breath, parting with the kiss to learn how to breathe again.

“Look at you” his tone is laced with lust “riding my thigh like a good girl.”

Fuck, you're so damn horny, and you've barely done anything. The fuck is up with you? It scares you how you know you'd promptly fold if Namjoon asked you too, just to have that cock drilling inside you.

So you just hum weakly, apparently forgetting how to fucking speak.

“What was it again? That you called me before?” he asks, returning to slide your clothed core over his strong legs again, loving the way you look getting off on his thigh “Oh, right. What happened with all the filth you were saying before, sweet girl?”

You swallow. This man is fucking challenging you. You have to get your shit together.

“Namjoon—” you moan his name out “I’m… I’m so fucking wet right now.”

“Yeah?” His Adam's apple bobs in his throat.

“Yeah, Namjoon, my panties are fucking soaked.”

“Shit. That’s it, wanna hear you losing it.”

Namjoon wants you so bad. He can feel the warmth of your core rubbing against him, and he can only imagine the growing stain in your panties, the desire of licking you clean the only thing in his mind. He wants to know how you look when you cum, and he just knows it'll be the prettiest fucking thing.

“I can feel how hard you are for me.” Your shaky voice makes him growl.

“Yeah, sweet girl?” That’s his new favorite pet name, the only thing he wants leaving his mouth.

You close your lips on his neck, moaning against his skin when you lick up his throat, a salty taste coating your tongue.

“I haven’t even—” you falter, intensifying your movements to touch his covered cock with each raise of your hips “I haven't even touched you yet, big boy. If I lose control, you sure you can keep it?”

You suck a purple stain on his pulse point, nibbing at it softly and rolling your eyes back over the grunts he pours on your ears.

Your hand slides between your bodies, fingers ghosting over his cock. Namjoon chuckles darkly.

“You're such a tease.”

“And what you gonna do about it, big boy?” You murmur on his skin.

Before Namjoon can answer, though, a high giggle echoes through the corridor.

You both turn, startled by the sound.

A couple stumble its way into the corner, in a messy make out session that delays their realization that they aren't alone. 

“Do you live close?” You ask Namjoon, breathe steadying when the two of you understand the couple doesn’t really mind the audience.

“Yeah.” He says, non-committal.

“Can we maybe go to your place?” You suggest, unsure if he's comfortable with it.

Namjoon turns his attention back to you, and his lips curve up into the most gentle smile you've ever seen.

“If you want to.”

You nod, mirroring his smile.

Namjoon adjusts himself in his pants, trying to be as comfortable as one can be with a painfully hard cock in tight fitting slacks.

You take the cue to soothe your own clothing and Namjoon can't help when his cute smile turns into a full on smirk upon seeing the evidence of his hands on your crumpled outfit.

He takes your hand in his when you both are relatively presentable, and once again leads you through the club, this time aiming for the exit.

Turns out, Namjoon isn't a good boy at all.

The whole ride to his apartment his hand was planted on your thigh, caressing softly without ever breaching your inner thigh or skirting higher — it was as innocent as it possibly could be.

Yet you were squirming and fidgeting the whole trip as his voice, enveloped in the most vulgar desire, whispered the most filthy promises on your ear, shooting arousal all the way down to your now sticking panties.

Promises of making you cum on his tongue, of fucking you senseless with your face on his mattress — of painting you with his cum tonight.

By the time the car finally stopped at his place, you felt your knuckles sore from clutching the fabric of your pants.

Not that he was unaffected. Namjoon could dirty talk you all he wanted, it didn't change the fact that you saw the way his cock twitched and how he was restlessly shifting in his seat whenever you played into his little scenarios.

Although, in hindsight, saying you wanted to be stuffed full of him wasn't the best idea, because the quiet groan he spilled in your ear did nothing to placate your own aching pussy.

The warmth of his palm is familiar at this point as he takes your hand to climb the flights of stairs to his place. Namjoon quietly fishes for his keys and, before opening the door, he looks at you, smiling softly and making you smile too.

When you both are inside his apartment, you wet your lips, anticipating his kiss. But Namjoon misses the action, too preoccupied with taking off his shoes and jacket and politely asking for you to do the same at the entrance.

His long legs stride towards the kitchen, and you almost assume he’s nervous when he fumbles with his cabinets, picking up two glasses.

You frown and, slowly following after him, you hop up on the stool by the counter, across from him. 

“Namjoon.”

“Yeah.” He fills the cups with water, placing them between you two and finally returning your gaze.

“Do you still wanna fuck?”

Namjoon huffs out a laugh. “Yes. I definitely still wanna fuck you.” His eyebrows knit together. “Why? Don’t you?”

“I do. But I kinda expected you to have, you know, thrown me against the wall or something by now.”

“I might still do that. Just wanna talk for a bit, make sure you’re sober and all.” He explains, reaching for his cup, and you mimic his motion, soothing the dryness of your throat. 

“Well” you ponder “I honestly feel a bit tipsy, but I’m conscious.”

“Do you want some time to be sure?”

“Nah, I’m sure.” He nods. “Are you drunk?”

“Not really.” Namjoon presses his lips into a tight line, before saying: “I also wanna know your limits.”

“My limits?”

“Yeah, I wanna know what you don’t like.”

“Oh” you huff out a laugh, dumbfounded “that’s nice. You seriously ask that to everyone you hook up with?”

“I like to.”

“Okay, uhm…” you sip your water. “I’m not really into degradation and, although I said I like it rough, I would appreciate it if you didn’t hit me or anything.” He nods, waiting for you to continue. “I also don’t feel comfortable with ass stuff. Oh, and do you have condoms?”

“Yes.”

“Then I think that’s it. Maybe just don’t try anything freaky before telling me?”

“Sure, no problem.”

“What about you?” He cocks his head to the side, considering you for a second.

“There isn't much I'm not willing to do, honestly, so really? Just don’t want you to lie or fake stuff. I want you to tell me if I’m doing something wrong.”

“I can do that.”

Namjoon rounds the counter, stopping in front of you before helping you stand.

“Up.” He commands, head tilting in the direction of the counter, and you jump to sit on it.

“There’s only one problem.” You say, guiding him between your legs.

“What?”

“I’m soaking wet right now.”

“That can’t be comfortable.” He traces soft circles on your thighs.

“It isn’t. And it’s your fault, big boy.” You pout.

Namjoon sucks his lower lip between his teeth, dark lust cloaking his eyes.

He gets closer, hands coming to your ass and squeezing it.

“But I’ve barely done anything.”

“I’m painfully aware of that.” You whine, seeking more contact.

“Are you normally that impatient, baby?”

“Do you normally take this damn long to fuck someone?”

He chuckles.

“You sure you can take it if I’m rough with you, princess?”

“You sure you can be rough with me, sweet boy? Cause you’ve been all talk and no—”

He smashes his mouth against yours before you could finish.

Namjoon’s lips seem like velvet on yours — despite the pressure, despite the thirst with which he drinks you up. He moves his lips in a way that almost feels like too much, like you won’t be able to take it, but the taste of lust coats your mouth so deeply that you’re intoxicated.

His hands memorize your body, grabbing your neck to tilt your head to the side before you open your mouth to meet his hot tongue, flicking it with yours.

You explore his mouth, happy to swallow all of his breathy groans as Namjoon tightens his grip on your ass, pulling you to drag on his bulge and grunting at the feeling, your body gasoline to his fire.

He can barely concentrate on the kiss, and you’re not much better, the initial eagerness developing into a sloppy make out session — fuck technic, how can one focus when Namjoon’s cock is so deliciously rubbing against you?

He starts to kiss down your jaw, wet lips tracing your sensitive flesh, taking your neck as his canvas.

You couldn't be more thankful for not having any more meetings to attend until being back to Busan, because you definitely don't own enough makeup to hide the purple marks he leaves behind. 

He cups your boob, squeezing it in a way that has you parting your lips in a whimper.

“Fuck princess, you’re so responsive.”

His palm slithers beneath your shirt, caressing the soft flesh of your stomach before he tugs your top off.

“Take this off for me, baby.” He commands, voice low in your ear as he brushes the thin lace of your bra.

And you obey, unclasping it and letting it fall somewhere near your top.

You're not ashamed or timid in the slightest when you lean back on the counter to let him take in as much as he wants from you, a tiny smirk crossing your lips. Your confidence makes Namjoon crazy, but you can't help it. You feel so hot under his gaze, you could let this man do anything to you.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous. Like, honestly, what the fuck.” You giggle.

“Come back here then, sweet boy.”

He kisses down your body, from your neck to your collarbone before he finally reaches your tits.

He closes his mouth around you, swirling his tongue around your nipple as his thumb finds your other breast, flicking over your hard nub and eliciting a loud cry out of your pretty lips. Namjoon seriously feels like he could drown in your sweet sounds.

Your fingers tangle in his hair, tugging a handful and making him groan, vibration reverberating all through your chest.

A string of saliva attaches his lips to your tits as he peppers down kisses between the valley of your chest to regard your other boob, latching onto your nipple and taking his hand to smear the wetness he left behind.

The tip of his tongue licks your nipple, and you buck into his hips.

“Fuck, Namjoon, I… I love your mouth.” You pant.

“Love your tits.”

And he certainly makes you feel so.

Your head falls back when his hand cups your pussy over your pants. The elongated moan you grace him with makes him pull your waistband, quickly undoing your buttons.

You suck in a breath when his hand slips inside your panties, and the groan that leaves his throat is borderline painful as he finally feels you — his fingertips slightly spreading your folds as your slick coats him. 

“Damn, baby, you’re dripping.” He says, breaking the pattern of kisses on your tits to look at your face.

“I fucking told you.”

“Is all this for me?”

“Yeah, ba—” your words turn into a whine when his middle finger presses down your clit.

He chuckles, and you clench around nothing.

Namjoon feels like he's dreaming, seeing your head tilted back, your eyes closed shut as you squirm on his finger.

He pushes one digit inside your aching pussy, and you sob. Your wetness paired with the warmth of your walls pushes a moan out of his mouth, electricity going straight to his dick and coaxing him to push another finger inside — his mind spiraling as he imagines how your pussy will feel like around his cock.

“Good girl, soaking my fingers.”

Namjoon’s attention is locked on your face, gauging your reactions carefully.

“Shit, baby, that's it” you shudder when his fingertips find your g-spot, and he starts to hit it restlessly, your walls sucking him in.

You feel your breath scaping your lungs. Although Namjoon’s hand is somewhat restrained by your pants — which he didn’t mind taking off — the stretch of his fingers inside of you is maddening.

He's slowly working you up, heat coursing through your body and all the way to your scalp, the obscene sounds dripping from you only spurring you on.

You start to struggle to support yourself, feeling weaker by the minute, so you grab his upper arms, in an attempt to steady yourself. When you open your eyes, you’re met with deep, dark lust.

“I want to eat you out.” He says, and you feel like you’re going to pass out.

“Fucking god.”

“Would you like that, baby?”

“Yes, baby, fuck” you moan.

“Tell me you want it.”

Can't he tell by the way your chest is rising and falling at an almost concerning speed?

“I wanna feel that pretty mouth of yours in my pussy, Namjoon.”

He groans before his hand leaves your cunt and helps you down the counter.

You two stumble your way to his bedroom. Namjoon's arms hug you tightly against him as your hands pull his hair in a messy kiss, the only concern in your minds is to remain linked.

Namjoon tosses you carelessly over his mattress, drawing a gasp out of you.

The sight of you on his sheets, bare chest glistening with his saliva, pants poorly undone and shifting as you try to relive the emptiness he left behind makes Namjoon grope himself through his clothes, swallowing strained grunts.

You smirk at his distress, bringing your hands to your boobs and pushing them together to shove that grunt out of his throat. 

“You look so pretty like this, spread out for me.”

“I bet you’ll find me prettier with your cock inside of me.”

“You keep saying these things…” he closes his eyes, sighing heavily at the image you cast in his head. “I think I need to teach you some manners, dirty girl.”

“I’m counting you’ll at least try.” You smirk and Namjoon chuckles.

In a smooth motion, he takes his shirt off, exposing his broad, sculpted chest. Smug takes his face at the way you shamelessly gawk at him, and he kneels at the floor, hands harshly yanking you to the edge of the bed by your pants, before he finally slides them down your legs.

Namjoon straight out moans when he notices the large pool of arousal staining your panties.

“Damn, baby” his voice is barely audible and you squirm, shutting your legs to try and provide some friction. “You want to be fucked this bad?” His hands come up your thighs to part them, gaze transfixed in your core, layered by the thinnest lace of underwear.

“I want to be fucked this bad by— by you, shit.” You stutter as Namjoon lips meet your legs, biting and licking the soft flesh.

He trails kisses along your thighs, closing the distance to your cunt, but instead of touching you where you need him to, his lips simply hover over you. You let out a low curse when he continues his path to your other thigh, licking and sucking roughly.

“Namjoon, please.”

“Please what, princess? Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you.”

“I want your lips.“

“They’re right here.”

“I just told you.” You whine.

“Fucking tell me again if you really want it.”

“Please, eat me out, baby.” Your voice is pathetically high, but you couldn't care less.

“Since you asked so nicely” the look of his dimples between your thighs is the most beautiful obscene thing you've ever been graced with.

Namjoon shoves your panties to the side, and the way he curses your name out has you forgetting how to breathe.

“The prettiest fucking pussy, so fucking wet for me” he groans “I bet I could slip right in.” And you’re sure he’s right, feeling your lust dripping down your ass.

Namjoon seems to like the way you squirm under him, because instead of fulfilling his promises, he blows a cold puff of air over your folds and the way you shudder has his dick twitching. 

“Namjoon, for fuck’s sake.” He chuckles. “I'll fight you, I swear to god.”

He brings his finger to glide up your entrance, effectively shutting you up.

Namjoon teases you, pulling your folds apart before spreading your slick around them, leaving you all nice and sloppy for him. His eyes flick up to the way your chest rises and falls above him, then his gaze returns to your drenched cunt.

How are you supposed to survive the night if he keeps looking at you like that? Like you are sin incorporated? 

He finally brings his face to you, licking a long stripe along your pussy and collecting all your juices on his way up to your clit, where he swirls his tongue before sucking, hard.

You can’t help the loud cry that exits your throat, nor how it elongates when Namjoon hums in pleasure.

“You taste so fucking good.”

One of your hands flies to his hair, twisting and pulling carelessly, while the other gathers his sheets in your fists.

You jolt your hips up to meet his face as he continues to lap at your cunt and when he drags the tip of his hot tongue to part your folds and pushes it inside your walls, Namjoon has to pin you down to prevent you from lifting off the bed.

“So fucking good, baby” you moan, fumbling with his hair.

“Yeah?” His deep voice against your heat makes your head fall back.

Namjoon feel his control dissolving pretty fucking fast as he takes in all that you can give him, arousal gushing out of you for him to feast.

His tongue explores your cunt and he softly takes your clit in between his teeth. You feel a sharp pressure growing in your stomach and you grind on his face seeking more of it.

“Shit! Do that again, please” you yelp, and he promptly nibbles down at your clit.

Namjoon starts to focus on your now swollen nub, while he slides his hand down, and before you can process his intentions, you feel the delicious push of two of his fingers inside of your cunt.

The sound you let out has Namjoon’s mind blanking. You arch your back, squeezing your eyes shut as goosebumps crawl up your arms.

Namjoon lifts your legs to rest them on his shoulders, allowing himself to go deeper into you and he speeds up his movements, his fingers scissoring you open for him. Namjoon eats you up like his life depends on it, sucking the soul out of your body.

Sinful squelching and slurping noises fill his room, and he wants those sounds imprinted to his brain, your pussy loudly dripping for him.

In a sudden movement, he curves his fingers, hitting your sweet spot. Your breath tries to keep up with your racing heart while the knot in your belly threatens to snap.

You let go of his sheets, hand coming up your chest, cupping your boob just slightly before pinching your hard nipples, the sensitivity making you squirm, Namjoon's groan between your legs just spurring you on, the sight of you unraveling above him the most erotic thing he's ever seen — and to know he's the one making you shiver like that makes his cock painfully hard.

You rest your hand beside your head, trying to steady yourself somehow and failing miserably.

Your mind is empty, his tongue washing away any lingering thoughts or worries you’ve ever had, as if you know nothing but the feeling of his lips wrapping around your folds and the maddening drag of his fingers inside of you. 

When your legs start to shake and your walls clench around his digits, Namjoon slightly parts his lips from you, but without pausing his fingers — if anything, he starts to pump them faster.

"You gonna cum?"

You nod.

Your lower lip will definitely be bruised tomorrow.

"Words, baby girl."

"Yes! Yes, I’m close" you cry.

"Look at me." He demands, and you do as he says.

You support yourself on your elbows, meeting his firm gaze on you.

The sight of Namjoon between your thighs, chin glistening as your arousal drips from his mouth, and the fact that he still hasn’t stopped fingering you, make your whole body quiver, your stomach contracting hard, and you have to gather all your self control to not cum just from his looks.

Fuck, you wish you could take a picture.

"Want you to look at me when you come." You clench around his fingers. "Can you do that for me, princess?"

"Yeah" you are like… twenty percent sure you can.

Namjoon grins to himself in triumph. You’re already already this fucked out and he’s barely begun with you.

His mouth returns to your core. Honestly? Namjoon's knees are surely bruised from the hard floor, scraping whenever he moves further against you. But he couldn’t give less of a fuck as his tongue worships you in earnest, your name falling from his lips like prayer while his fingers stretch you so fucking good, pushing you to the edge of your orgasm.

"Jesus, Namjoon, that’s it" you feel silly, struggling to keep your eyes open.

"Cum for me baby. Cum on my face." He commands, register so low you barely hear him.

The feral look he directs you alongside his words make your orgasm hit you in a strong wave, your body lifting from the mattress and shaking vigorously. Namjoon’s hand spreads over your stomach to try and pin you down as he keeps his tongue lapping at you, drinking up all your essence and helping you ride out your high.

He groans at the way your browns shoot up your forehead, mouth silently parting as your head falls back.

You’re so fucking gorgeous when you cum.

You push his head away from you when your legs start to tremble from oversensitivity, searching for air.

Namjoon puts your panties back in place, the soaked clothing sticking to your eaten out pussy and making him hum, satisfied.

"That’s it, baby, you did so well for me."

"Fuck" you whisper, running your fingers through your hair. The shockwaves of your orgasm are still making you shiver when you pant, "what the fuck was that?"

Namjoon chuckles, slowly lifting himself from his bruised knees.

His stare on you falters when he darts his tongue out to collect your cum from around his mouth, eyes fluttering shut.

He climbs up the bed, careful not to crush you as he brings his lips to yours. You can taste yourself on his tongue, and he swallows the quiet whine you make before pulling away.

Namjoon takes his wet fingers and wraps around his mouth, sucking his fingers clean with his eyes closed.

When he looks at you again, something unreadable crosses his gaze before he gulps. "Can I spit in your mouth, pretty girl?"

Your reaction betrays your answer, thighs immediately pressing together as a new wave of arousal shoots through you at his request.

But Namjoon still waits until you say: "Fuck yeah, you can."

His smile is ridiculously innocent for the matter at hand.

"Then open up for me, princess."

And you do, parting your lips and sticking your tongue out as he grabs your jaw, hovering above you.

You close your eyes as a small globe of spit hits your tongue, and you swallow proudly, a content hum ripping from your throat. 

"Good girl, shit, that’s so hot."

He leans in to resume the kiss, making himself more comfortable between your legs. His clothed cock drags against your inner thigh.

Why is he still wearing pants?

"Namjoon" you call, between kisses.

"Uhm."

You take your hands to his torso, tracing freely and loving the way his skin shivers under your fingertips. From his broad shoulders to his firm abdomen, you explore his golden, sweaty skin above you, until you slide one of your hands down. Your palm touches his member, stroking it just slightly as you bathe in the broken moan he graces you with.

"Let me suck you off." You offer, feeling how hard — and thick, mind you — he is under your hand.

"Can you handle more?" His tone is teasing, but his look is genuine. 

You’re silent for a moment. What does he mean by that? Would he just… stop if you said no?

God, why is that so hot?

"Yeah, sweet boy. Wanna take care of you too."

The problem is that there’s no way Namjoon’s gonna last if you suck him off. He can barely control himself now, after tasting you and drawing all those sweet sounds out of you. His dick is already twitching under your half assed strokes, the slight discomfort from his pre cum staining his clothes a clear sign he needs to be inside you. He wants to make you cum again, but around his cock this time.

So he chuckles.

"Can you take it if I fuck you now?" You bite your lip, nodding. "Yeah? Tell me you want my cock, baby girl."

"I want you cock, Joonie." You spill, lips nearing his ear. "I want you to fuck me so hard I can’t walk tomorrow."

Maybe not your brightest idea, but at this point you don't give a shit. Namjoon is the only thought on your mind and if you came that hard just from his fingers, you can’t wait to see what his dick will feel like.

"Fuck, I love your filthy mouth." He groans. "Sure you don’t need some time?"

"Nah… maybe leave the riding for later, though?" A coy smile crosses your face.

"Sure" he smiles back.

Namjoon kneels back on the bed, wincing a bit when his sore knee touches the crumpled sheets. Ignoring it, he reaches for his wallet in his back pocket, taking a foil packet out of it.

He stands up, tossing the wallet aside before reaching for his belt.

"Let me" you ask, lifting yourself and sitting on your heels.

You take your hands to his thigh, caressing it before going to his belt, which you undo, eyes not daring to look away from his.

You bite your lip when your hands open his zipper, and you reach around him to grasp his pants, pulling them down slowly as he looks at you with nothing but lust, eyes tilting down to your bare chest.

"You honestly have the most amazing thighs."

He frowns in amusement. "Thanks?"

Usually you’re a big fan of reciprocity, and you might have considered taking your sweet fucking time with him, just like he did with you, if Namjoon hadn’t just give you one of the best orgasms of your life and if you didn’t feel arousal pooling again on your already soaked panties. So, instead, you just pull down his pants along with his briefs, his cock springing free.

Namjoon hisses at the feeling of the fabric dragging against his shaft, and you have to suck in a breath when you look at his thick member. It must be painful how hard he is at this point, dick angry and throbbing.

"Big boy indeed." You blurt out, making Namjoon laugh as he kicks his pants down his legs.

"Losing your confidence, princess?" Honestly? Namjoon has no business having such a pretty cock and being this hot. You feel like he should be illegal.

You curl your palm around his dick and give it a tentative pump. A long moan falls from his lips from finally receiving some attention.

"Namjoon?"

"Yeah."

"Can I at least taste you?" Are you fucking pleading?

He gulps.

"Please?" You pout.

He bites his lip — how could he ever say no to you looking up at him like that, the cutest pout on your lips, while you beg him to let you give him head? He'd give you anything.

"Shit, yes, you can."

You smile.

That's it. Namjoon's sure he's imagining you. Is he dreaming?

You inch closer, giving his tip an experimental lick and tasting his salty pre cum, riveting at the sweet sounds he lays out for you.

You spit on his shaft before you lick your way down him, smearing your spit all over his length, before giving his crown a light suck, prompting Namjoon to buck his hips into your mouth, and you welcome him.

You moan, feeling his weight on your tongue. He twitches between your lips when you hollow your cheeks.

You start to take him further, his tip grazing the back of your mouth while you pump what you can’t fit inside.

"Fuck, princess, you look so pretty sucking my cock." He groans, head tilting back for a second and squeezing his eyes shut.

When you start to bob your head faster, though, Namjoon gathers all his self control and pushes you away, and you release him with a small pop.

You pout, and his jaw tenses "why would you stop me then?"

"I wanna fuck you." He pumps his dick a few times, hand slipping easier with your saliva now coating him. "All I’ve been thinking about."

Namjoon rips the foil packet open with his teeth, securing the condom around himself.

You make a move to lay back on his mattress, but Namjoon shakes his head.

"Nah, baby, that’s not how I want you."

He slithers his arm around your torso, harshly turning you over. He yanks you by your waist, pulling your ass up to him. His hand runs down your spine, pressing your face on his sheets.

Namjoon positions himself behind you. His palm comes up to caress your ass before giving it a hard squeeze.

Namjoon parts your cheeks, and he brings his fingers to your folds, spreading them apart to stare at your pussy. He grunts upon noticing your cunt is already a mess for him again even if he’s just licked you clean.

"You got wet again from sucking my dick, princess?"

"You felt so good in my mouth."

Your words fuel him, and Namjoon doesn’t think twice before he inches closer and licks your folds, the tip of his tongue collecting your licking lust as he hums in pleasure.

"Sweetest fucking pussy" your eyes roll back.

Namjoon pulls away to admire the view. There are you, all pliant, waiting for his next action with your face pressed down his bed, your ass on display, pussy dripping in anticipation.

He never felt this fucking hard.

"God, you’re gorgeous. So beautiful for me like this."

He grips his cock, aligning himself with your entrance, but instead of just sinking it inside you, Namjoon drags his crown up and down your folds like he has all the fucking time in the world. Your spit mixing with your gushing arousal.

You groan — you wanna fight him.

"Namjoon" his name drips like sin from your lips.

"Uhm." He hums, distracted.

"Just fuck me already."

He smirks. 

"Now that’s no way of asking something, is it?" You groan. "Don't you wanna be a good girl for me?"

"Baby, please, can you fuck me? My pussy is so fucking wet right now." You whine, wiggling your ass, creating some, but not nearly enough, friction. "Please..."

Namjoon fucking loves your dirty mouth. "Good girl."

He slowly presses himself between your folds, shoving a loud moan from your throat.

You shudder from the intrusion, his tip deliciously splitting you up as it slides in your cunt.

"Shit, baby, you’re way too tight." He grunts. "Relax for me, princess."

Namjoon leans over you, his torso framing your back. He lays sweet kisses on your shoulders, and his hand on your hips starts to softly trace your skin, raising until he’s grabbing one of your boobs. He squeezes it, pitching your hard nipples.

His gentle touches make you melt, allowing for Namjoon to drag his cock further inside of you, finding little resistance as his thick cock stretches you up.

Your cunt engulf him so tightly that Namjoon feels his mind spiraling, and when his hips meet your ass, you both let out a shaky breath.

"Shit, I feel so fucking full."

He chuckles.

"Yeah, baby?"

"Yeah, fuck. Gimme a sec."

You roll your hips slightly to try and get used to his size, but he’s filling you up so good that the tiniest of movements makes his shaft drag against your walls, a quiet yelp falling from your lips.

"Ok." You gulp. "You can move."

Namjoon licks his lips and smirks, hands tightening on your hips.

"Hold tight, baby."

He slowly pushes himself out of you, but doesn’t give you time to feel empty as he immediately comes slamming back inside. You gasp, body jerking forward.

Your pussy welcomes him with each thrust, swallowing him with the most wet sounds you’ve ever heard, and you start to push your ass back to try and take him further between your tight walls.

His cock moves in a merciless pace, and you feel like you forgot how to breathe.

How the fuck does he know how to move his hips like that?

You’re exhilarated, mouth open but not a single sound coming out. Overwhelmed by his soft moans above you, by the way he stuffs your pussy full of him, by the way you can feel your legs wet with your arousal gushing from your core.

You try to get your shit together, prompting your ass back to meet his thrusts, and when you finally find his rhythm — but not without the help of his firm hands dragging you against him — the slapping sounds become so vulgar that you sob.

"That’s it, baby, that’s what you wanted, right?" He mumbles, voice barely coherent as his throbbing cock relentlessly drills your pussy. "To be fucked so hard, to be so stuffed you aren’t able to speak, hum?"

You hum, feeling like you’ll scream if you open your mouth.

Namjoon doesn’t like it, though. He hates the way you’re suppressing your pleasing from him.

"I thought I told you I wanna hear you losing it, baby. Where’s your filthy mouth?"

"So… you… so good, Namjoon… fuck" you stutter.

"You like it?"

"Yeah, shit, go harder."

His eyes flutter shut for a second.

"Anything you want, princess."

Namjoon shifts his legs, trying different angles to make you unable to hold your pretty sounds in. He attempts a couple of ways before he sets his left foot on the mattress, and when he resumes his thrusting a loud scream rips from your throat.

"That’s it, Namjoon, god, there. Please, do it again." You plea, voice pathetically high as you clench around him.

Your moaning is fuel to him, and he starts to fuck you as hard as he can, loving how you’re spiraling under him, tortured sounds finally reaching his ears.

"You feel so good, baby." You say and Namjoon growls.

Just as blissful as the sensation of his cock deep inside of your tight walls, is knowing that he’s making you feel on the fucking moon too. So, he seeks the same spot over and over again, his purpose clear.

You roll your hips, grinding on his cock.

God, it's such a shame you're not into degradation. All Namjoon wants it's to call you his slut.

"Shit, princess, you’re so greedy, fucking yourself with my cock."

You push your ass back again, but this time you feel his balls slapping against your clit and you both falter as lightning courses through your bodies, making you constrict your pussy around him.

"Do that again, baby girl." He commands, and you fucking obey.

You clench around his cock again, and Namjoon goes feral.

His strokes are hard, but so fucking precise that the way he’s railing your pussy makes you feel like you’re losing your grip on reality. 

Shit, this is too fucking good, and Namjoon feels dizzy. If he wasn’t drunk before he certainly feels like it now, thoroughly enjoying the way you’re completely unraveling under him.

"You’re squeezing me so good, so fucking tight for me." He groans out.

His fingers dig into your flesh in a way that you’re sure it’ll definitely bruise — but you want it too. You want him to mark you all over with the evidence of how good he’s fucking you, of how good he’s making you feel.

Your mind is clouded. Your knuckles sore from how hard you’re clutching the sheets.

Namjoon’s so fucking satisfied, pride exuding from his body as he looks down at you on his bed, being fucked senseless as he drills his cock in and out of you, loud slapping and squelching sounds making it even more obscene.

"You take me so well, shit, such a good girl." Namjoon groans, hypnotized by the way your body rocks with the force of his thrust.

You could die a happy woman just from the way he praises you. His words making your stomach twists in what you’re sure will be another mesmerizing orgasm. 

"I could fuck you all night, baby, and I just know you’d take it."

"Yeah, Namjoon— I, I would." You yelp. "I will."

He has the audacity to chuckle. 

"I’ll hold you up on that offer later."

You’re already so close again. God, you don’t wanna come like this, you don’t wanna come so soon.

"Namjoon?" You call and he hums in response. "I wanna ride you."

Did he win the lottery or something? He feels like he doesn’t deserve it. God, he missed like, three essay deadlines this semester, he definitely doesn’t deserve it. 

"Fuck, yeah, baby, you can ride me."

He slips out of you, and wastes no time crawling to sit at the headboard.

Namjoon reaches out to hold you, helping you straddle him with your wobbly legs. He laughs when you take a deep breath, goosebumps all over your skin.

"You sure you can ride me, though?"

"Shut up" you hiss, trying to concentrate before you wrap your hand around his length and lift over him to align him with your entrance.

A shaky cry falls from your lips as you gradually sink in his dick. The stretch is completely different and his fat cock splits you open so deliciously that you somehow feel even fullen than before.

"Fuck, I love this position." He reads your thoughts.

You just nod, unable to think as you find purchase on his shoulders. When you’re finally fully seated, you feel like Namjoon's cock is touching your soul.

"Fuck, Namjoon, you’re huge."

His face is all scrunched up, brows knit together in pleasure, and you’re almost angry at how beautiful this man is. The nerve.

"God, this pussy so fucking tight."

You take a deep breath, and swiftly roll your hips over him. Namjoon’s head thumb back and you feel so fucking powerful when his hands grab your ass, trying to guide you over him to reproduce the feeling. So you grind on him again, making his cock reach spots you didn’t even know you had.

After rolling a bit more on his lap, you muster all the strength you can and lean back, planting your palms on his thighs — have you mentioned how fucking beautiful his thighs is? — before slowly raising yourself.

The second time you drag your pussy down his length is even more delicious, and it makes you feel so good that you feel like this is wrong in some way.

Ok, who are you kidding?

You’re both pure sin at this point. There’s no turning back from the obscenities you two said tonight.

So yeah, fuck it.

You try to focus as you slowly start to move your hips up and down, regretting all the times your friends tried to convince you to exercise and you didn’t, because you can’t seem to find a pace.

But Namjoon, so very attentive to your needs, grabs your hips, helping you establish a sluggish pace — but a pace nonetheless.

You gradually start to feel more comfortable, more capable, and Namjoon’s grip on your waist is now more for his own sake than yours when your movements speed up.

Soon enough, you’re riding him in earnest, in a hard rhythm that makes you meet his pelvis each time, his thighs quiver under your weight in the most gorgeous way as you send Namjoon to the places he not long ago made you visit. 

A proud grin settles on your face, watching him grunt with each stroke. 

"You're so good for me, baby, letting me fuck you like a good boy" you echo his words, almost teasing, but your shaky tone betrays you.

"You fuck me so good, princess."

Shit, you feel lightheaded.

Namjoon bites his lip, eyes transfixed on your bouncing tits. He takes your boobs in his palms, caressing and grasping them softly, your sounds music to his ears.

Your gaze falls to his neck, not nearly enough marked by you, so you dive to his throat, tongue licking up to his ear before you start to kiss and suck harshly at his pulse points, making him moan loudly into your ear.

"You’re so sweet and big for me" you say, clenching around him and you feel his dick twitching inside.

"Shit, baby, do it again." He asks, and you promptly close your walls around him again.

Namjoon’s not sure how long he’ll last with you on top of him like this, riding the soul out of his body while your lips worship his neck. But he needs you to come first — or rather, again, but this time around his throbbing cock.

Thankfully you’re not far. Your lower belly is contracting, nearing your high, and you’re so gone that you could tell Namjoon you love him at this point, you don’t even care — and you don’t think he does either.

"You’re so good for me, my pretty girl."

His? Shit, can you have that on paper?

"All yours, baby."

You yelp when Namjoon’s thumb finds your clit and starts rubbing you. The pad of his fingers spreads your wetness over your bundle of nerves, your heart ramming against your ribcage.

"Baby, I’m… I’m close." You're fucking panting, that's what you are.

"Thank god." He breaths. "Can I take over, princess?"

You nod, and Namjoon circles his strong arm around your waist, turning you without slipping his dick off of you.

When he suits himself above you, you immediately wrap your legs around his torso, and Namjoon starts to fuck you like he’s made for it. Fuck, why does he feel like he is, though?

His thrusts are relentless, but he uses his last working braincell to aim his cock against the spots he’s learned that make you cry louder — which you do.

Your hands grip at his hair, tugging hard as your head falls back.

You have to gather all the focus you possibly can to open your mouth, your voice barely a whisper.

"Choke me, baby."

Namjoon gulps.

"What."

"Please, choke me."

"Shit, princess." Is this what dying feels like?

Namjoon closes his hand around your neck, fingers pressing down your pulse points as he feels your erratic heartbeat slightly soothing under his fingertips. Why is this so hot?

Your every sensation is heightened. His cock heavenly railing you, his hot breath fanning against your sweaty skin, the loud sounds that fall both from where your bodies meet and from his mouth.

It takes barely a minute before white spots blur your vision. The tight not in your stomach snaps so fucking hard a scream leaves your parted lips.

Namjoon wants to know how to immortalize the way your face scrunches up when you come — would you let him do it again just so he can take a picture?

The force of your orgasm makes your pussy clench hard around his cock, and you milk him and your body quivers violently. When your back arches from the bed, his bed, he swears you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever seen.

His thrusts become shallow, and you’re still rocking with the afterwaves of your orgasm, fighting through the overstimulation when Namjoon feels his own high approaching, so he quickly pulls himself out of your cunt.

He rips the condom off of his cock, tossing it wherever for him to mind later, and starts to pump himself above you. And what a fucking sight to behold.

"Come for me, baby, you’ve been so good, I want you to come all over me."

And like the good boy he is, Namjoon immediately does.

His hot white cum paints your belly just like he promised, a guttural groan leaving his throat as he empties himself over your stomach until he’s thoroughly spent.

You look down, wetting your lips before you bring your finger to your belly. You collect his cum with a flicker of your finger, and take your hands to wrap your mouth around, tasting his salty orgasm with a satiated hum.

Namjoon shudders. In that second, he wants nothing more than to come again just to see you eat his cum out of yourself once more.

"You’re a fucking menace, you know that?"

You smile innocently, and he falls beside you on his sheets.

Namjoon’s breath is uneven, and he brings his hands to push his hair out of his face.

You turn to him, a large grin on your lips. Namjoon’s eyes find yours.

"What?" His lips curve upwards.

"Fuck, sweet boy, I think I’m in love."

You two start giggling, you shake your shoulders in pure mirth while his laugh reverberates all through his body — you both find those sounds just as attractive as the obscenes ones you were eliciting just now.

It takes some time before your shared amusement softly becomes small snickers. 

"Still with the sweet thing?"

"You’re the best I’ve ever had, baby, you’re definitely my sweet boy." He takes his lips in his teeth, shaking his head. 

"I’m the best, huh?"

"Hell, yeah, I’m fucking giggling, Namjoon. Really, what the fuck."

"You’re the best pussy I’ve ever had. I honestly couldn’t be happier your brother bailed on you."

"Shut up." You playfully shove his shoulder, chuckling.

"Seriously, though, introduce me to him, I need to thank him."

"Don't ruin it." You joke.

You both fall into a comfortable silence, collecting your breaths.

"Wait, be right back."

Namjoon lazily gets on his feet, grabbing the used condom from the floor and heading to his bathroom, closing the door.

He returns a couple minutes after, a towel in his hand as he crawls back to bed and starts to gently clean your stomach, reaching your pussy and easing the mess he’s made of you.

"Thanks."

"Don’t mention it." You try to get out of bed, but your shaky legs make you stumble as you get up.

Namjoon quickly helps you steady yourself, a proud smile curving his lips.

"Can I use your bathroom?"

"Sure."

"Uhm… also, do you mind if I stay the night?" You ask, glancing at the clock on his bedside table, noting it’s way past one in the morning.

"Princess, I expect you too." Namjoon smirks. "We’re not nearly done."

Namjoon somehow can look even better in the morning.

You wake up feeling his serene heartbeat beneath your ear, his arms enveloping you and your legs entangled.

You’ve been just peacefully staring at him for around ten minutes now.

At first it was because you feel like you’ve been hit by a bus, sore to the bones. But then, it was because he’s just so damn beautiful you couldn’t help it.

He takes a deep breath, stretching his limbs as he wakes up, yawning loudly. You inch closer and give him a quick peck on his cheek, before resting your chin on his chest.

"Good morning, pretty girl" he smiles, opening his eyes and tugging you closer.

"Morning, sweet boy."

"How long you’ve been awake?"

"Not sure. Ten minutes?"

"Wow, and you’ve just been staring at me? That's so creepy." You roll your eyes, and he chuckles.

Neither of you speaks for another couple of minutes, bathing in the calmness of the morning.

"You ok?" He asks.

"Yeah. Really sore, though."

"Well, you asked for it."

"I did, didn’t I?" You grin. "And you gave it to me like the good boy you are." You tease, kissing his lips.

He reciprocates the touch, but neither of you takes it further.

So. Fucking. Tired.

"I see I wasn’t able to teach you how to behave."

"I’m a lost cause, but I appreciate the effort." He huffs out a laugh, closing his eyes.

"What time is it?"

You turn on his hold to face his clock. "Almost ten."

"Hum."

Namjoon doesn’t make any move to get up, and you start to look over his room. For some reason, you didn’t pay it the slightest attention the night before.

"You in college?" You ask, when you notice tons of books piled on the floor near his dresser.

"Yeah, in my last year."

"Uhm, so pretty boy is also intelligent." He snickers.

"My good looks can be deceiving."

"I was deceived indeed. You have such a dirty mouth, I was baffled." He shoves you away from his grip, groaning.

"You're one to say, the filthiest girl I’ve ever met."

"The filthiest? You flatter me." You laugh, as he playfully pushes you to the other side of the bed. "Oh c’mon, you liked it."

He smiles. "Yeah, I did."

He’s so tender you almost feel shy.

"What do you study?"

"Literature."

"It suits you." You say, scanning his face.

"Thanks, I really like it. But what about you? Aren’t you in college?"

"I graduated last year."

"What you do?"

"Architecture."

"That’s nice."

"Yeah. I’m on a work trip, actually."

"You’re not from here?"

"No, I live in Busan."

"Oh. My roommate is from Busan."

"You have a roommate?" You ask, mortified, but Namjoon chuckles.

"Don’t worry, he was out. He didn’t hear the way you were screaming last night." You shake your head, a smile on your face. Namjoon breathes deeply before lifting to a sitting position on the bed. "Want some breakfast?"

"Yeah, I’d like that. Let me just use the bathroom real quick."

"Ok. Do you like toast? That’s basically the only thing I can make."

"Finally!"

"What?" He frowns.

"Finally you have a flaw, oh my god, I was losing hope" you say dramatically, raising your arms.

"Can't have you falling in love now, can I?" He jokes and you laugh.

Namjoon gets out of bed and you follow, heading for the bathroom and closing the door behind you.

He smiles to himself, shaking his head.

He makes his way to his kitchen, finding his roommate already there, eating his breakfast.

"Morning." He announces himself, and Jimin turns to him.

"Hey, man" he smiles mischievously, cocking his head in the direction of your clothes lying on the floor "how was the party last night?"

Namjoon's brief concern for forgetting to gather the clothes you took off in the kitchen quickly dissolves into a smirk.

"The party? Oh, I kept it in my room."

"All night?"

"All fucking night." They both chuckle. "She’s in the bathroom, so please be civil when she comes here."

Namjoon goes to his cabinets, grabbing some bread to prepare you something to eat.

"Sure, man."

"What about you? You arriving now?"

"I came home around six, I think, so I just crashed. Woke up half an hour ago."

"And how was it with that guy?"

"It was mid. But hey, it was worth the shot. Even if he has no fucking game he's still hot as fuck."

"Sorry to hear that." Jimin shrugs. 

"And what about this girl, huh?"

"Man, this girl…" Namjoon trails off, shaking his head "so fucking hot, I felt like I was dreaming."

"Really? You seeing her again then?"

"Don’t think so, she’s not from here."

"That’s too bad."

"Yeah, it’s whatever. By the way, do you wanna hang out later? There’s this music festival going on and I have no one to go with."

"Don't know, I’m probably going out with my sister today, she flew from Busan to see me."

"Oh nice. Maybe you could introduce us."

"Yeah, if she’s down maybe we can all go together to this festival." Namjoon nods.

He leans on the counter, facing Jimin, and smiles once he sees you coming from the hall.

"Hey, pretty girl."

Jimin turns back when Namjoon acknowledges you.

"Oh, hey sis!" Jimin greets automatically — before freezing completely.

Both yours and Namjoon’s eyes widen in terror.

"Chim?!"

"Wait— she’s your sister!?"

"Jimin’s your roommate from Busan?"

You stand still in the hallway, watching mortified as your brother's face contorts in a grimace, realization hitting him before he shoots his friend a deadly glare.

"God, Namjoon, you fucked my sister?!"

"I didn’t know it was your sister!"

"Man, you’re fucking gross!"

"The fuck’s that supposed to mean?!" You ask, indignant.

"My sister’s not hot!"

"Jimin?!"

"Can’t agree with you on that one, man, sorry." Namjoon argues.

"Those are my sister’s clothes, man?" He continues, ignoring what his friend said for his mental health’s sake, before he turns to you. "And you’re wearing his clothes? What the fuck?!"

"Jimin, stop being a child."

"You came to Seoul to fuck my roommate?!"

"You’re the one who stood me up last night. To fuck, may I remind you."

"Thanks for that, by the way." Namjoon interjects, winking at you, and a small smile crosses your lips before Jimin groans, exasperated.

"Seriously, man?! And what the hell happened to your neck, did he fucking punch you?"

"God, no! I just cho—"

"Shut up! God, I can’t fucking look at your two right now, unbelievable." He says, getting up in a hussle before striding to his room, cursing under his breath.

You and Namjoon are left alone in the kitchen, silence filling the room.

You gauge his expressions, realizing he’s doing the same.

"Thank fuck he wasn’t here last night." Namjoon says after a while, and you can’t contain the laugh that escapes past your lips.

"You really had to thank him, though?" Namjoon bites his lips. 

"I'd feel bad if I didn't. Mom taught me to be grateful." He bites his lip. "Do you still want that toast?"

You smile. "Sure, sweet boy."

note ↠ sooooo, what do you think? i really hope you guys enjoyed it as much as i did! it took some time for me to finally be satisfied with it, and i have like, ten versions lost somewhere in my google docs lmao links ↠ navigation | masterlist | join my permanent taglist

#bts fanfic #namjoon fanfic #namjoon fic #namjoon smut #namjoon pwp #namjoon x you #namjoon x reader #namjoon imagine #namjoon scenarios #namjoon oneshot #kim namjoon fic #kim namjoon x reader #kim namjoon #kim namjoon smut #kim namjoon x you #kim namjoon pwp #rm #rm x reader #rm smut #bts #bts fic #namjoon #luawrites #fic:all.night

[stayarmytinyzenmoa-l]

And That's Okay

University AU TW: Language, University Struggles, Sexual Orientation Struggles, Strained Parental Relationships, Slight Implications of Body Dysmorphia, Angst (No Comfort), Reader implied to have anxiety, Codependent relationship, Implications of a toxic relationship, Smoking, Hookup culture Smut Warnings: F/F Sex, Oral (giving and receiving), fingering, first-time receiving anything and everything, loss of virginity, mentions of penetrative sex, mentions of dildo and various other usage of sex toys, F/M Sex, blowjobs, drunk sex, protected sex, penetrative sex, sloppy makeouts Genre: Romance, Drama, Angst, Smut Pairing: Jeon Somi x Reader ft. Na Jaemin Y/N Pronouns: Female (She/Her) Word Count: 27.3K Summary: University is when you find out things about yourself. You will find out things you'd already known and you will find out things that you didn't want to know, and oftentimes that is through the help of others who you grow close to and learn to love. But nothing lasts forever, and that's okay.

[Other Groups Masterlist] Notes: HAHA I GOT IT DONE IN TIME FOR HER COMEBACK! So, yeah, full disclosure this is heavily based off of my own experiences coming to terms with myself but obviously it's also super fucking exaggerated because it is fanfic lmao I gotta make it entertaining somehow. But, without further ado, enjoy! Disclaimer: Please remember that this is an AU and a work of fiction, obviously the idols mentioned/written about in this story would never partake in these actions. The idols mentioned in this work are meant to be seen more as face claims rather than the actual idols themselves.

Feedback is greatly appreciated!! Thank you for reading!

“Yeah, we’re together.”

“Oh, I’m happy for you,” you smiled. Your friend had been seeing this guy for a while now, and you were the fortunate one who had listened to her the entire time. Sweet as it may be, you were glad that she’d finally mustered the courage to say yes to his constant probings. You were happy for her, truly, you were in love with the way she smiled now and the way she spoke about him, you could see it in everything that she did, she really was in love with him. The way her hair bounced when she nodded her head, the way her lips would turn up so slightly, and the way that smile still reached her eyes. You were happy for her, really, you were.

“Thank you, (Y/N)! I only have you to thank, really, you’ve been helping me out with this since day one and… ahh,” she rubs the back of her neck bashfully. Her hair parted slightly under her hands, revealing the soft skin beneath it while she did so and the light tinge of her cheeks sent your heart racing. “(Y/N)? Everything alright? I mean, I know, it must be annoying to hear me gush about him all the time,” she asks with a small laugh.

“Yeah, fine, no, that’s okay. You like him, right?”

“I do! But, I mean, we haven’t really labeled our relationship yet because, I mean, I’m still getting to know him,” she continued on. Her voice, though melodious to you always, drowned out in the sea of your thoughts. “Oh, shoot, (Y/N), I lost track of time, I have to head out,” she glances at her phone, the lone notification on it telling you everything you needed to know. “Same time next week?” She asks.

“Yeah, I’m always free,” you nodded. 

“Do you want me to walk you to your car? I know you don’t like to be alone,” she says it with a painful jab. But it was the truth. You hated walking alone as much as you hated being alone but, still, you shook your head.

“I think I’ll stay here for a bit longer.”

“Sounds good, get home safe, (Y/N)!” She packs her things.

“You too. Bye,” you waved and watched her go, leaving you sitting in the café. Goodbye.

That’s how you said goodbye to your first love.

The time was 2:30 pm in the afternoon. In a quiet café, seated at the counter near the very back, and with no more patrons than fingers on one of your hands. You could hear coffee brewing behind you, and the playlist of the day was soft jazz. The cup just a finger away had long gotten cold, forgotten as you listened to your friend’s love story, and your tablet just minutes from dying. You looked down at your notes and read through a few lines, but you didn’t know what to do, you didn’t know what to think. You were heartbroken, sure, you had to be. Your first love, the person you had fallen in love with years before and the person who you continued to love, had found someone else. Someone else who made her smile wider than before, someone else who she found herself thinking of at random points of the day, and someone else who made her feel happier than before. And that someone wasn’t you. It was your fault, really. How could she ever come to love you if you’ve never in mustered the courage to even come out to her? You couldn’t breeze through love with another woman the same way you could with another man.

You were so happy for her, she deserved this so much. But, god, when will it be your turn?

You turned your tablet off and started to pack your things. Might as well go home, then. You only agreed to go out today because she was the one who asked.

“Thank you,” you nodded your head toward the barista before heading out. It was only six in the evening, but still the sun had long set. People moved around you, couples, families, and friends alike. You pulled your hood over your backpack and started to move toward your car. Once you got there, you sat at the driver’s seat and locked your doors. Your keys remained in your hand, however, and instead of starting the car, you relaxed against your seat and sighed.

That was truly the end, wasn’t it? You checked your phone and saw the message from her. She arrived home safely. You smiled, but quickly caught yourself as you liked her message and tossed your phone on the passenger’s seat.

You said goodbye to your first love, and now you can focus on her friendship instead. Good for you, and good for her.

~

“I thought you said that dating apps weren’t your thing, (Y/N),” your classmate chimes.

“Eh, figured I’d give it a shot,” you continued to mindlessly swipe. It was true, you were more into meeting people “organically” but, well with today’s day and age, this seemed to be the more sufficient way to do things. Your classmate peered over your shoulder and you turned the screen away from him, but not before he could see who you’d hesitated over.

“Whoa, (Y/N), I didn’t know you swung for that team,” he says, disappointment in his voice.

“I mean… yeah, I like girls and guys, so what?” You shrugged, turning your phone off instead. The confession felt weird. Had you ever said it before? No, not really, you were just annoyed that the first person you technically came out to was a boy you’d just met a few minutes earlier.

“Then, why don’t we go out on a date then?” He teases.

“I’m not really into dating right now,” you said.

“Then why are you on Tinder?” He asks.

“Just cuz,” you shrugged. You just didn’t want to date him. Before he could respond, the sounds of rustling backpacks signaled the end of class. “See you next week,” you chucked your things into your bag before rushing off. You didn’t want to delve into a conversation you didn’t have time for, much less with someone who gave you massive icks with everything he said. While you made your way to your next lecture, you opened your phone again, looking at the profile you’d just hovered over.

Somi Douma, 21. She had a few pictures you could tap through. She’s really pretty, you had to admit that much. Pisces, in college, looking for something short but open to long, love language is touch, not into smoking, not into drugs. Her profile was so much like the others you’d swiped left on before, but something really stood out to you on it. You swiped right on it.

It's a match! You felt your heart stop. You? She swiped right on you before? No way. Not with the random, half a year old selfies you chose to populate your profile with. You didn’t even look all that good in them what with no makeup or fancy hairdos. You put your phone away and rushed to lecture. You couldn’t understand the cold feet you suddenly got, shouldn’t you feel some sort of validation? Some kind of joy from getting a match? You swallowed harshly. Had you ever gone on a date with another woman before? Had you ever gone on a date before? You squeezed your hands together and entered your next lecture, taking the first seat you found open.

“Hey, (Y/N),” your study group finds you easily and your first friend, Keeho, was the one to call out to you. Then three others took their seats around you. “Everything alright?” He asks you.

“Uh, yeah,” you answered vaguely. You chewed on the inside of your cheek. “Just worried about how I’m going to study for this class,” you mumbled. Keeho eyed you wearily, but decided to leave the subject. Maybe it was you being full of yourself, but you could swear you saw the admiration in his eyes. It was the same way you’d look at your first love but you knew for a fact that you didn’t even want to try anything with him. It was hard enough to make friends in college, you could only imagine how hard it would be to lose them. Your phone buzzed in your pocket and you stole a quick glance. Big mistake on your part, the ‘Tinder’ tag line and the simple ‘New Message from Somi’ nearly sent you into cardiac arrest. You put your phone away and covered the lower half of your face with your hand, but this didn’t go unnoticed to your other friend.

“(Y/N)?” Yeji places a hand on your shoulder. “All good?” She asks.

“Just fine,” you told her with a heated face and a racing heart. You didn’t expect either of you to make the first move, granted, and you definitely didn’t expect to see a message just minutes after you matched together, it was too sudden. Making that account was supposed to be a joke, a spur of the moment thing you did with your friend, the same one you’d crushed on before and the one you’re one sidedly getting over too. You never expected to use this app seriously, and you definitely didn’t expect to find someone at all.

“Earth to (Y/N),” Jaemin leaned down and waved his hand, pulling you back into reality. “Your shit’s in the way,” he eyes your backpack.

“Oh, shit, sorry, Jaem,” you pulled your bag into your lap and, ahh there it went, your phone landed on the floor and the screen lit up, the Tinder notification taunting you, but you were fast to pick it up while everyone was preoccupied talking to Jaemin about the content in today’s lecture.

Close call, you shook your head and joined in with them.

But why did you even feel shame about it in the first place?

~

You looked at the lone notification on your phone sent now six hours ago. You didn’t know what to do with it. You didn’t think that anyone would swipe on your profile, much less someone as attractive as her. But you steeled yourself, laying down in your bedroom, you tapped on the notif and Tinder opened right up.

‘Hi, I’m Somi! I see we matched :) Why don’t we get to know each other better? 20 questions?’

You typed out a response.

‘Hi! I’m (Y/N). I’d love to get to know you better, I’m down. Should I ask the first question?’

‘Yeah, shoot!’ Her response was immediate and you thought for a second.

‘Are you bisexual too?’  It was missing from her profile, her sexuality you mean. But, to be fair, so was yours.

‘Lesbian, actually. How about you?’

‘That counts as a question! I’m bi… I think.’

‘You think? You just asked if I was.’

‘I’m not sure yet.’ There was a pause before her response.

‘Do you want to find out?’

‘I mean… yeah.’

‘Haha, you’re cute! Okay, I think I see why you joined this app now lol. After this game, wanna meet up?’

You looked around your bedroom. You were a commuter student, and one who, of course, couldn’t fucking drive. 

“(Y/N)!” Your mom’s voice was sudden. “Dinner’s downstairs!”

“I’ll be there, mom!” You answered back. You looked at your phone.

‘Sure, maybe not today, though, I’m already at home.’

‘? Do you commute?’

‘Yeah, I’m like twenty ish miles away from my campus.’

‘Ohhh, where do you go to school?’

‘BLU! You?’

‘No wayyyyy same!’

You paused. She was closer than you thought.

‘What major?’

‘Mathematics. You?’

‘Biochemistry.’

‘Whoaaaa I’ve matched with a genius, huh?’

‘Math’s cool, though, I could never, I lose my mind over trig alone!’

‘Same, lol! But still, it’s crazy to think that we’re so close.’

‘I know! What year? If you don’t mind me asking.’

‘It’s one of your 20, so why not lol? I’m a third year. You?’

‘Aha… first year…’

‘Whoaaaaaa so you’re fresh into the college scheme, huh?’

‘A little, yeah.’

‘Aww, I remember when I first started out too! Hey, if you’re comfortable with it then we should meet up!’

Again, you stopped typing. Was this how dating was supposed to go about? Then again, she was looking for something casual, so you had to take that into account, and you wanted to know if your loveless life was due to you pursuing the wrong gender this whole time. All of grade school you’d gone without once being liked romantically, and to those flitting crushes you did garner the courage for they all laughed at your confessions, was this really your only chance at feeling wanted? You placed your phone on your chest and sighed, but then you felt it vibrate once more.

‘If it’s too soon don’t worry about it! We’re basically strangers, is all, and I’d like to get to know you better. Your profile says that you’re looking for something short and casual, right?’

‘Uh… yeah. To be honest I wasn’t 100% sure what it meant.’

‘Aww! A freshman indeed! Do you want the full graphic answer?’

You felt your face start to burn up. She sent you another message before you could type anything more.

‘I mean, it doesn’t have to be sexual. We can do cuddle buddies instead.’ You didn’t even think it had anything to do with sex. Short and casual? You had no idea what that would have entailed at all. Even with some thought into it you couldn’t piece it together.

‘Cuddle buddies?’

‘Yeah. It’s like FWB except without the sex lol.’ Never mind, you knew exactly what ‘short and casual’ meant now.

‘Well…’

‘You’re an adult, right? Your profile says so but I just want to be sure.’

‘I am!’

‘Okay! Just checking! But it’s up to you. Then again, you can just delete this convo and pretend that nothing happened.’

‘I don’t want to do that…’

‘Okay then! Just let me know, don’t leave me hanging, (Y/N)! Plus, you seem so chill compared to others on this app so I’d like to at least be friends!’

‘Yeah, ofc! I’ll have to text you later tho, to finish the game, I mean!’

‘Yeah, no prob! I’ll text you later <;3’

And the conversation ended. You placed your phone on the nightstand next to you and rolled over in your blankets. Something casual? Friendship? Something… sexual? You shuddered. You didn’t even think about it that way. You were still a virgin, no experience, no thoughts, you’d never really paid too much mind to doing anything like that. Well, you’d done some masturbation here and there, who hasn’t by this age? But nothing with another person. Your face was burning up now, something you tried to cool down by turning your pillow over and laying face down on it.

“(Y/N)?” Your mom calls you down again. “Dinner!”

“I’ll be there!” You answered.

There’s the other problem. You’re not out to anyone, well, except for that stranger who wouldn’t leave you alone earlier. What would your parents think of you? They worked so hard to help you get to where you are today, they are working so hard to help you achieve your dreams, what would they think of you if you told them this? As much as you loved your parents, and truly you did, you knew their thoughts and opinions on homosexuality and how its representation is being handled in today’s age. The words of your mother rang clear.

‘Honey, it’s okay if you are, but I’d prefer you not to be.’ And you stood by those words all your life. Such a small statement that she said to you when your best friend came out, and one that you hardly talk to anymore. She said that to you when you were in middle school and now here you were, in college, and probably, most likely, very gay. Who the hell says that to a thirteen year old anyway?

Well, actually, your mom apparently. You couldn’t blame her, though, considering the state of politics at that time. She was a mother who was afraid of what would happen to her daughter for being who she was, and you couldn’t fault her for that intention, you could only fault her for the execution.

Then, rapid knocks at your door lead you to shove your phone under your pillow just in time for it to swing open.

“Hey! Mom’s calling us! Let’s go before she comes up here,” your younger sibling urges you to follow.

“Yeah, I’ll be there,” you scrambled off your bed and ran downstairs, leaving your phone behind.

~

“Okay, just something casual, cuddle buddies, yup, just something casual, cuddle buddies, mmhmm,” you recited to yourself.

The time was 12:00 pm in the afternoon. The sun was high in the sky and the air was heavy with a dry heat. And here you were, standing in front of an apartment unit. You started having second thoughts, was it really a good idea to play into dating app culture? Was it a good idea to agree to meet up with Somi in person? What if you’d just been catphished? What if she’s a crazy axe murderer looking for her next victim? What if you just didn’t vibe with her in person versus through text? Was it too late to turn around and say that you couldn’t find her apartment? Well, yes, you did ring the doorbell already so there was no way you could turn back now.

Then, as soon as the door in front of you opened, you felt your mind blank.

“Hi! Uh…” The woman who opened the door looked you up and down before snapping her fingers, “(Y/N), right?”

“Yup, that’s me,” you answered in a higher tone.

‘Kill me now,’ your internal thoughts shouted at you.

“Wow, I knew you were cuter in person,” Somi laughs. “Come in, come in, but leave your shoes by the door in here too,” she points to the shoe rack absently while walking in. You followed her close behind, pausing only to slip your converse off, and continuing on. “I know, it’s a small place, but at least I have it to myself,” she speaks up. “How was the drive here?”

“Oh, uh, I walked actually.”

“You walked?!” She turned to you briefly with a shocked look on her face. “It’s, like, a hundred degrees outside!”

“Yeah, but, uh, I was on campus so it was just easier,” you shrugged.

“Hold on, hon, let me get you some water! You can sit wherever,” she gestured broadly and walked into the kitchen. You took the liberty of sitting down on the couch while you watched her move about from the other side of the counter, from pulling a glass from the upper cabinet to pouring a bottle of water from next to the fridge. You heard the cubes of ice clink against the glass as she walked back to you and placed it on the coffee table in front of you, just inches away from some fashion magazine she had. “So… tell me about yourself,” she says with a light tone.

“Oh, um…” This felt a little strange. Normally, weren’t first dates in cafes or bookstores? Come to think of it, you vaguely remembered a PSA saying something about not going to stranger’s houses for first dates. Was this a good idea? Did you make a good choice? What were you doing here again? Why? Huh? You felt like you’d enclosed yourself and built up another wall. You were afraid of opening up to this woman, this person you’d just met. Why did you think it was a good idea to come into her home? Dense. It’s like you forgot all the Crime Watch Dailys and 20/20 episodes your mom made you watch with her.

“(Y/N)?”

“Oh, um,” you repeated yourself and shook your head. “Sorry,” you shook your head.

“No, no, it’s okay!” She waved her hand in front of her. “You’re new to this kind of thing, huh?” She asks.

“Yeah… very,” you admitted. “I’m sorry, I know you were probably expecting something else but…”

“No, it’s fine!” She reassures you. “To be honest, I’m not too experienced either. I actually recently moved here! I transferred to BLU this year,” she says.

“Oh? From where?”

“I was raised in Korea, actually,” she nods.

“Korea? Wow!” You commented. “So why did you transfer here then? That States are so far away,” you shook your head slightly.

“Aw, you know, the usual! I wanted to get out and be independent from my parents for a bit, go on an adventure, and, hell why not, get my degree while doing it,” she says. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love them a lot! And they were really supportive of me coming out here so I have to be grateful, but, you know how it goes.”

“I do, I do, I wish I tried harder to convince my parents to let me move out for at least a year,” you shook your head.

“Oh! You’re commuting?”

“Yup, and, of course, I don’t have my license so that’s probably why they encouraged me to stay home too,” you sighed with a slight eye roll.

“Awh, but that’s so sweet that your parents care like that,” she says.

“Yeah, I guess,” you nodded slightly and you rubbed your arms up and down. “So, uh, why math?” You changed the subject.

“Oh, I’m terrible at it, like, really really bad at math,” she laughs, “but I love a challenge! And math is such a challenge, my god, I have fun with it so I decided to major in it,” she says. “And you? Biochemistry is a toughie.”

“God, you don’t even know,” you held your head with one hand before letting it fall to your lap again. Somehow, you found yourself relaxing into this conversation, any awkwardness you felt earlier started to fall away. “I’m on the premed route, actually, and biochem was just that fastest way to complete my pre-reqs,” you explained.

“Oo, premed? That’s cool!” She whistles. “You always wanted to be a doctor?”

“I mean, I guess, I had a phase where I wanted to be an astronaut, actually.”

“Didn’t we all?” She laughs. “Well, I wanted to be a stewardess for a while, but then I realized I hate flying,” she shakes her head.

“I found out I had motion sickness so I tossed that idea out really quickly,” you laughed along with her while holding your glass of water. The ice had long melted already and all that was left was the cool condensation surrounding the glass.

“You know what, (Y/N), you’re really cool,” she says softly. “I’m glad we matched.”

“Me too, it’s been kind of rough meeting new people since I started here a couple weeks ago,” you nodded.

“Yeah, that’s right, I haven’t really found my crowd either. I have groups here and there, but no one I’d definitely call a ‘good’ friend,” she says. Did you even have one? Well, the closest would be that study group you had now, the bonds from orientation apparently are very strong. “But, I dunno, you seem sweet so I’m sure people will gravitate toward you,” she smiles.

“Yeah?”

“Oh, yeah!” She says with a wide smile. “Say, why don’t we finish up that game? We still have a couple questions left.”

“Sounds good, you can go first,” you invited her.

“Nice,” she thinks for a moment, “when was your first kiss?” She asks. You drank some of your water.

“You can’t laugh.”

“I won’t!”

“Two months ago,” you said after taking a deep breath.

“Two?!” She gasps. You nodded curtly. “Whoa…”

“And you?”

“Middle school, on accident, I slipped on the wet floor and fell on top of this guy,” she laughed.

“Holy shit, that sounds like it’d hurt! For me it was in orientation. My roommate was a lesbian and she asked if me or out third liked girls too and I told her I wasn’t sure so she asked if I wanted to find out and I said yeah and… well, here I am,” you explained.

“Wow… and you’ll never know if she was a good kisser.”

“I didn’t hate it!”

“But you have no one to go on,” Somi reasons. She wasn’t wrong. You weren’t 100% sure how you were supposed to go about a kiss anyway, you just let your roommate at the time take control and you went with it. “Okay, okay, let’s settle it down a little. Coffee or tea?”

“Coffee, definitely.”

“Right, biochem.”

“You?”

“I’ve really been into tea lately!”

“Right, math,” you laughed.

“Hey! It’s good for you,” she fires back. “Okay, hm, what do you think of me so far?”

“I think you’re very nice,” you answered. “But, I’ll be honest, I was a little worried when you asked me to meet you at your apartment,” you admitted. “Respectfully, I barely know you.”

“No, you’re right! As soon as I sent that text I was like ‘God! What was I thinking?’ and here you are!” She gestures toward you. “I’m glad you agreed, though, I hope I’m not too awkward.”

“You? Awkward?” You were in disbelief. She’d only been sweet and, if anything, she’s carrying the conversation. “I’m sorry for being awkward,” you corrected.

“Oh, please, I just thought you were being polite,” she says. “Say, I don’t want to ruin the mood or anything, but were you serious about cuddle buddies?”

Whoops, you forgot about that.

“I mean… I’m down to try it,” and suddenly you felt your walls building again. “But could you run by me what we’d be doing again?” You asked, diverting your eyes only slightly before looking at her again.

“Sure, we’d just be cuddling,” she explains. “No strings attached, we’d just call or text one another when we need some affection and then voila, we cuddle,” she continues.

“That’s it?”

“Yup. I mean, unless you want something more out of it, but I’m perfectly fine with just keeping it as friendly cuddling.”

Friendly? Were you even looking for something romantic? Was she? Were you? Did you even know how to notice those cues?

“Did you want something romantic?” You asked. She thought for a moment.

“To be honest… not right now,” she shook her head. “I’m still getting into the swing of things in this new university, but at the same time, I, uh…” she trails off while she squeezes her arms. “I don’t know. Haven’t you had times where you just wanted to be held?”

Of course.

“Yeah, I get it, we can do that then, cuddle buddies,” you answered.

“Okay then! The deal is set,” she nods.

“I might be awkward at first, though, I have to admit I’ve never really cuddled anyone before.”

“Really? Oh, (Y/N), you’re missing out!” She says. “I mean, we don’t have to try it today, but I’m just saying, it’s a really nice experience.”

“I’ll hold you to that, then,” you glanced at your watch, something she easily caught onto.

“I didn’t mean to keep you if you had anything,” she mumbled.

“Oh, no, it’s nothing. I just um… can’t drive, so my parents pick me up,” you explained. “So I should probably start heading back to campus,” you cleared your throat.

“Yeah, I get it! Have a safe walk back and thanks again for agreeing to meet with me! I’ll walk you to the door,” she says before following you up. “We’ll text later?”

“Of course,” you nodded and she opened the door for you.

“Bye, now!”

“See you.” She waved at you one last time before closing the door. Afterwards, you pivoted on your heel and walked off toward the apartment’s staircase, a strange warm feeling enveloping in your chest and a small smile on your face.

Okay, so maybe that wasn’t the train wreck you were afraid it’d be, actually, you’d say it went really well. Then, as you reached the bottom of the stairs and stepped out of the complex, your phone buzzed in your pocket. You shot a quick glance at it.

‘Heyyy! Look up behind you!’ You did so and Somi waved at you from her balcony. You waved back with a smile and she pointed to her phone again before shooting you another message. This time it was a picture of her schedule, something which you responded with a picture of your own as you walked off, chancing another look back to see her waiting for you to go. Again, you waved, and she waved back. Then, with you back turned to her, you continued down the sidewalk back to campus.

In no time at all, you were at the pickup area, spotting your dad’s car waiting for you. As soon as he saw you approaching, he moved out of the driver’s seat and into the passenger side and you felt your shoulders slump. It’s not that you dreaded these mini driving lessons, it’s more like it was too hot for you to even think about them.

Then again, if you got your license sooner, maybe you’d be able to meet up with Somi more? That’d be nice, you really enjoyed your time with her earlier.

“How was you day?” Your dad asked as soon as you slid into the car. Amazing.

“Good and… hot,” you answered while putting your seatbelt on. “Why’d you ask?”

“You just look like something good happened,” he answered. You pulled the car out of park and into drive. “Check your mirrors.”

“Oh, right,” you adjusted them.

“Always put the car on ‘park’ before you do that. Your car might roll forward.”

“Right, right.”

“And always step on the brake pedal too.”

“Got it, dad.”

“Look over your shoulder before you go.”

“I know.”

The extent of all your conversations with him have just been this. Driving. You were grateful he was teaching you but sometimes it felt so hard to talk to him about anything else.

~ You both continued to text back and forth after that. But you hadn’t met up, no, the extent of your friendship had been exchanged via Tinder. More and more questions back and forth, the occasional TikTok, and every now and then the late night texts asking each other seemingly pointless questions, and it was like that for almost two weeks. Your schedules actually lined up really well, given the two year difference, and a lot of gaps between your classes lined up with hers. So it wasn’t like you couldn’t meet up, more like neither of you had the opportunity or maybe either of you were too shy to make the first move after that initial meeting.

“Holy shit that lecture was so boring,” Yeji yawned next to you.

“Don’t even get me started,” Keeho rubbed his tired face.

“God, it’s only week four,” you muttered into your hands. “Is Jaemin still with us?” You looked over at the fourth member of the study group, but he walked along silently with his eyes glued forward.

“Nope,” Keeho laughs. “Let’s go get some coffee. (Y/N) you’re down to study with us after English, right?” He asks.

“Uh… let me ask,” you pulled your phone out, sending a quick text to your mom asking to stay longer to study with them. Her response was near immediate, green lighting it for you. “Yeah, I’m good to go. Where are we studying at?”

“Probably the Sciences Library,” Yeji answers.

“Sounds like a plan,” you nodded. “You guys grabbing lunch?”

“I’m down,” Keeho shrugs.

“I’m hungry,” Jaemin adds.

“Darn, I have econ, I’ll meet you guys after if you’re still together!” Yeji says.

“Yeah, okay,” you waved at her while she bounded off toward her next lecture hall.

“Let’s eat, I have meal swipes if you guys want to go to the dorms,” Keeho pulls his ID out.

“Sure, I’ll follow you there,” Jaemin nods. “(Y/N)?”

“Um…” You’d seen enough Crime Watch Daily to know this was probably a bad idea. Not that you didn’t trust them, but they were two guys significantly more built than you taking you to a dorm room.

“We could always just eat on campus if the walk’s too far,” Keeho, seemingly sensing your unease, came up with the alternative.

“Yeah, let’s do that,” you agreed.

“Nice, I’ve been wanting to try that pizza place anyway,” he leads the way and the two of you follow behind. “We have five hours until English, god,” he slumps his shoulders. “Talk about a waste of time.”

“I usually spend these gaps napping in my dorm, but I always end up sleeping in,” Jaemin yawns. “I bet you have it harder though, (Y/N), you commute.”

“Yeah, I can’t even go home because by the time I get there I’ll have to go back to campus. I usually just spend these gaps in the library,” you walked faster to keep pace with them.

“Shoot, I should be doing that too,” Keeho whines.

“What have you been doing, Keeho?”

“Spacing out,” he cries. “How are you two studying?”

“Good faith,” Jaemin answers.

“Notes revisions,” you sighed.

“Oh, good, I thought I was too far behind,” Keeho holds the door open for the both of you now as you enter the food hub. He checks his phone as he closes the door, skimming over the flurry of texts that filled his screen. “Damn, there’s a meeting for dance club soon, I completely forgot,” he shakes his head.

“How soon? Are you still studying with us later?” You ask.

“Uh… yeah, I should be able to study with you all for like… an hour,” his eyes move up in thought.

“Hell, we need you, Keeho! You’re the only one who knows what’s going on!” You exclaimed.

“Not even, I’m as average as everyone else,” he retaliates. Jaemin says something next, but whatever it was you weren’t paying attention. No, you were more preoccupied with the girl who was waiting next to the Chinese food station. Somi’s eyes were glued to her phone, and every so now and then when she scrolled the charm attached to it would hit her bracelet. She looked up at her phone briefly and made eye contact with you and you smiled, and she waved, and you waved back. “Earth to (Y/N), we need to come up with a study plan,” Keeho pulls you out of your thoughts and follows your gaze, seeing nothing, he refocuses back on the trio.

“Study plan, right,” you glanced at Somi, who was one again focused on her phone. “Why don’t we go old school and start with unit one?”

“I will kill myself if I have to read one more passage about the cell’s organelles,” Jaemin deadpans.

“How about we stick to the study questions then?” Keeho offers. The conversation continues, but instead you look to your side again, watching Somi pick up her food, wave at you once, then leave before you could wave back.

God, was that it? Was that the only in-person experience you’d had with her over these past weeks? That’s kind of pathetic. You started drawing scribbles with your finger against the table while resting your chin on your other hand. You’d spent all day today, yesterday, and probably will again tomorrow just thinking about her. Through your exchanged texts you started associating her with everything. Even reading the word ‘Hazelnut’ under the Lattes section of the campus café made you think about her. What was she doing now? On her schedule it said she was in some advanced mathematics lab in an hour, so there’s that.

You barely even noticed the day pass by until English lecture had ended, leaving the four of you in the library to study for your bio quiz tomorrow together.

“Oh, shoot,” Yeji silences her phone as soon as it blared.

“What’s up?” You asked.

“I gotta run to the apartment, my hell roommate is stirring the pot again,” she rolls her eyes. “Sorry, guys, I have to run and make sure she doesn’t break shit again,” Yeji grabs her scooter leaning against the bookshelf. “I’ll definitely study with you all tomorrow, though!” Yeji waves goodbye before she rushes off.

“Shit… I would hate to have a roommate like that,” Keeho shudders.

“The fact that she had to take off like that must mean that it’s serious,” Jaemin shakes his head.

“It’s okay, she’s got a good grasp on the content, I guess,” you skimmed through the textbook again. You, on the other hand, do not have a good grasp on the content.

“Actually, I gotta run too,” Keeho starts packing his things. “Dance club.”

“Ah, right! Good luck, Keeho!” You said.

“Thanks, I’ll catch you guys later!” Then he was off too. Jaemin sighed and readjusted his glasses before looking down at his iPad.

‘And then there were two,’ you wanted to joke, but to be honest you didn’t really know Jaemin all that well. You, Yeji, and Keeho went back to orientation, but Jaemin had joined the group rather recently at Keeho’s recommendation. Sure, he was the newest addition, and you had to admit that you didn’t hate spending time with him, he knew his stuff and you didn’t. He was quiet when you first met him, but now he had this teasing edge to him that you didn’t think you’d see. Still, though, that’s all you knew about him. You didn’t want to say it was awkward but…

“Is there something wrong?” He asks.

“Oh, no, nothing,” you shook your head. You didn’t even know you were staring.

Aw, hell, this is awkward.

“(Y/N)?” His voice was low to not disturb the other patrons.

“Yeah?”

“Real quick, what did you get on the respiration question? I just want to double check my math.”

“Oh, uh… 132,” you answered.

“Okay, I got the same,” you heard him scribble something on his iPad. Your phone buzzed on the table next to your textbook and you flipped it over, spotting the text from Somi.

‘Hey, are you busy rn?’ You answered right away.

‘Just studying, why?’

‘R u on campus?’

‘Yeah’

‘Think you can come over? If not, though, that’s okay!’ You read the text over again. She wants you to come over? Well, you did tell your parents that you were studying today but you didn’t want to leave Jaemin on his own, that felt a little rude. Then again, he does live on campus so he could easily go home after this.

‘Everything alright?’ You glanced over at Jaemin, who was engrossed in whatever he was doing.

‘Yeah’ was all she sent, but she was quick to send another. ‘No’ You looked at the time again, you had until 9 when your parents came to pick you up.

“Hey.”

“Jaemin?” You both spoke at the same time, both of your expressions surprised. His glasses slid down the bridge of his nose and he pushed them back up while clearing his throat.

“You first,” he insists.

“Sure, um, I just got a text from my parents, turns out I have to leave earlier than I thought,” you lied. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to leave you alone and all, but you know how it goes.”

“Yeah, I get it, we’ll probably figure something out in the group chat,” he shrugs. “See you tomorrow.”

“Wait, what were you going to say?”

“Nothing important,” he shakes his head. “Get home safe.”

“You too,” you grabbed your things and walked off in the direction toward Somi’s apartment. This marked the second time you’d been there, and although it was straight shot from campus you still had to double check Maps to be sure you were going the right way. Your feet moved quickly, whether that was because you wanted to see her again or because you were worried, and maybe it was both, you moved with purpose. Wait, never mind, it was the anxiety. You looked every which way while you walked and you occasionally looked over your shoulder, something which would send you into momentary embarrassment when you made eye contact with some random passerby that you knew for a fact wasn’t stalking you. And before you knew it you were scrolling through contacts on your phone, but then a new anxiety hit.

You didn’t know who to call. Or, rather, you had no one to call. Yeji was a no, the worst case scenario is that you call her while her and her roommate were caught up in some intense screaming match, which has happened to you before. Keeho was a no too, he was at dance club and you didn’t want to bother him. All of your high school friends were off limits too, you knew that none of them would answer, you’re not a priority anymore after somehow becoming the low maintenance friend. It probably wasn’t a good idea to call Somi right now, plus, you’d see her in a few minutes anyway. So that left one person.

Jaemin.

But were you even close enough to do that? Close enough to call him and ask him something as simple as just staying on the line? You’d laugh if you were him. So, instead, you toughed it out. You tried to control your breathing, you tried to stay focused in front of you, and you tried to keep yourself calm. But at all times your hands clutched onto your pepper spray, your knuckles whitening from the pressure and your palms aching from it too.

Her apartment couldn’t have been any closer. You knew the walk was only ten minutes at the most but it felt like hours for you and, as soon as you’d knocked on her door, she opened it after your first knock and you felt your heart drop. There were tears in her eyes and down her face, her hair had been pulled at and tugged every which way, and her hands shook when they clasped against each other. She looked at you for only a moment longer before she shook her head and brought her hands up to either side of her head, them shaking more than before, and she shook her head again. You locked the door behind you and stepped forward, doing what you thought was right, and wrapped your arms around her shoulders to bring her head against your neck. Quietly, she sobbed. Her body shook against yours and you held her tighter while you rubbed her back gently. She held you even tighter, just like you were the only person grounding her.

But you really didn’t know what to say. You didn’t know if you should be doing anything else other than holding her like this, or if you should even be holding her a certain way. But one thing you did know, however, was that she definitely needed someone right now. And the way she started to wobble in her stance you knew it’d be better for her to sit down. So, you led her to the couch and told her that you’d be back, then you traced her steps when you first came to her apartment. You pulled out a glass from the top cabinet, some ice from the freezer, and you poured water from the water bottle next to the fridge before placing it in front of her and sitting by her side. Slowly, her head falls on your shoulder, and you readjust yourself on the couch so that you could pull her close to you while she cried.

Was this the time for you to ask her what was wrong? Should you even pry?

“I’m sorry,” she says between muted sobs.

“Don’t apologize,” you told her. “Did you want to talk about it?” She shook her head and you nodded.

“Just… stay like this for a while,” she says. You nodded again and you felt her shift so that she was more comfortable under you. “You can put something on too, if you want,” she says.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I like the white noise,” she responds while she hands you the remote. You flipped through Netflix looking for really anything to watch, then you noticed the series of half watched nature documentaries on her Recently Watched. Without more thought to it, you selected Our Planet and started it from the beginning.

The time was 5:00 pm in the evening. You had four hours to be with her and to make sure she was alright, and you had no idea how fast time would go while you were sitting on this couch with her watching some generic nature documentary. But, slowly, as the documentary continued she began to comment more on the animals and their narrator, and just as slowly you relaxed into your position and your arms felt more natural around her almost like they’d always meant to be there.

~

It was like a domino effect after that. She called you over more often now, sometimes just to talk and sometimes to not talk at all, then there was the routine of watching whatever nature documentary either of you could find for the remainder of your time together. Your parents applauded you and very near bragged about you to their family members about how “studious” you were staying behind at school to work with your study group and, hey, as long as you kept your grades up you could keep this charade going. Besides, it’s not like your parents knew who you really were anyway, and it’s not like you’d ever tell them either.

Leading to now, while you laid your head down on Somi’s chest, usually it’s the other way around but you figured you’d try it this way once and, good god she was right. One of her hands was on your arm and the other held the remote. Today was the first day you initiated, you asked her first if you could come over to her apartment and she said yes, thank god. You didn’t want to impose but today you felt like you just had to see her. Today you felt like you wanted to be the one held rather than being the one who did the holding.

“Oh, what do you think of this one, (Y/N)?” She asks. The cursor was hovered over a documentary about the oceans.

“Sure, honestly, I’m a little tired anyway…” you mumbled.

“Ah, so good white noise then, huh?” She nuzzles her head against yours and presses play before tossing the remote to the side. “How was your day?” You relaxed into her chest.

“Good… good…”

“Doesn’t sound good,” she comments.

“I mean…” you thought back to your argument with your mom. Then you thought about how you lied to her, and how you’d been lying to her. She just told you that you were staying out too late, that you’d been “studying” enough, and you lied to her and said that you needed to study more, but the truth was that you’d been coming here. You’d been coming here during your gaps between lectures, you’d been coming here when you weren’t studying with your friends, and you’d even been coming here in your dreams. Always here, and always with her. Your heart raced whenever you saw her name on your phone and your heart pounded whenever you saw something that reminded you of her. But you wanted to keep a good thing good. Besides, it’s not like you were expecting anything from her. She never told you about her troubles so why would you tell her about yours? “I don’t really want to talk about it right now,” you squeezed her gently and you heard her sigh.

“Okay, if that’s what you want,” she conceded. The narrator of the documentary drowned out to you while you took your time to just be in the moment. The sun had long set and you’d been here for a while now, having come straight here right after your study session. Your dad told you much earlier to text him when you wanted him to come pick you up but you didn’t want to go home.

And that’s what you texted him a few hours ago.

‘Dad, I’m staying over at a friend’s apartment to study. You remember her, right? We studied together all the time in high school.’ You felt bad for using your longtime crush for this.

‘You should come home.’

‘I have an important exam tomorrow.’

‘Ask your mom.’

You ended up not doing that. Besides, she has your location anyway, yet another reason why you had that argument with her.

You took a deep breath to calm yourself and just above you Somi started to hum a small tune. Your breath stilled for a brief moment, feeling like the tune was more delicate than a thin pane of glass and that your thoughts were a large speaker waiting to be turned on. Quietly, you listened to the rest of the song as if it was the only thing you could hear and you felt yourself relax. You always loved being here, it was like a world away from the one you come from. A place where you know you are heard and listened to, a place where you could be yourself without fear of judging eyes and whispering lips.

“What song is that?” You asked her.

“Just a tune I used to hear a lot when I was younger,” Somi says. “I used to have this music box back at home, it was a small one made of wood and when you opened it there was the white flower that would spin around in front of a mirror that was on the lid. Technically, it was my mom’s, but I would always wind it up when I saw it. I just thought it was so pretty,” she says. “Then she would tell me this story about how my dad got it for her and what it all meant and all that romantic crap,” she added with a laugh.

“Don’t leave me hanging now,” you made a move to slip away from her but there was that slight tug back from her and you stayed in your position, “what’s the story?”

“It’s a classic. Back when they were just dating, my mom and dad had met in one of those love at first sight meet-cutes. But my mom had to come back to Korea while my dad stayed behind in Canada so he bought her that music box and a matching one for himself. They made a promise to play it at the same time every day. For my dad, it was the first thing he did in the morning. For my mom, it was the last thing she did before she slept.”

“That is so romantic,” you sighed. Imagine a kind of love like that, one that transcended distance and grew stronger because of it, and even the commitment to incorporate something as simple as winding up a music box into one’s daily routine was already a movie-worthy act of love in your book.

“I mean… yeah, my parents were the hopeless romantic types,” she says.

“Hey, um… you’re sure I can stay over, right?” You asked her.

“Yeah, of course,” she nods. “You can take the bed, I’ll sleep here.”

“Wait, but are you sure? I can sleep on this couch, not like I haven’t before,” you insisted.

“Well, yeah, but those were just because of your fucked sleep schedule, (Y/N), but since you’re actually staying over I want to treat you like a proper guest,” she says. “Actually, let me get you a change of clothes real quick,” she separates from you and disappears into her room. You, meanwhile, turned to the TV, but you couldn’t stay focused on whatever was playing, being too preoccupied with the realization of wow. You’re staying the night at Somi’s apartment and she was totally cool with it. Part of you wondered if she’d say yes if you’d ask her to sleep in bed with you and part of you wondered what it would be like to be in her arms for a whole night, but was that too much to ask? Was that a boundary that you shouldn’t cross? You felt yourself start to press down on your fingernails, a habit you’d developed instead once you realized how destructive biting your nails was.

You wondered if she was as anxious as you right now.

Was it just you or was she taking a while to come out?

You looked around the apartment and you just realized it now. There were traces of you all over. Small keepsakes of things in your favorite color, small things that you owned, and small things that you’ve gifted her. You were surprised to see them all adorning various spaces and you wondered why she chose to display them. Even the blanket that was between you and the couch was something you’d picked out for her when she sent you a picture of five different colors and asked which would’ve suited her style better.

And it was true for you as well. You’d been picking up and buying things that reminded you of her constantly. Things in her favorite color, things that she owned, and things she’s gifted you. If you just took a step back and looked at the both of you from an outside perspective you’d probably think that you were in love… and maybe you were.

“Sorry for the hold up, (Y/N),” Somi returned, changed into pajamas, and with an oversized tee and a pair of shorts and handed them to you. “You know where the bathroom is.”

“Yup, I’ll be back,” you walked off and closed the door behind you, catching yourself in the mirror. You rubbed the smudged makeup under your eye and shook your head. “God… but how could she be in love with a wreck like me?” You mumbled. You pulled your shirt over your head and paused for a moment longer, taking in your reflection once more. After a moment passed, you turned your back to the mirror and continued changing, and once you’d finished you folded your clothes neatly and walked back out to shove them into your backpack.

“Ooh, you look cozy,” she opens her arms and, once more, you found yourself nestled between them.

“And you feel cozy,” you responded.

“Oh, I definitely do now,” she grins. “Now, where were we in this show? God, I love manatees, they’re just so sweet.”

“I know! So friendshaped.”

“Absolutely friendshaped!” Somi gushed.

“I used to have this three-foot manatee plush that I’d sleep with when I was younger and when I tell you I brought that thing everywhere I mean it,” you recounted.

“Now that I can see you doing,” she shifts to be more comfortable. “You seem like a huge stuffed animal gal.”

“I need to show you my collection some time.”

“A collection?”

“Yes. I’ve never thrown out a stuffed toy since I was born.”

“Oh my god, you’re a hoarder.”

“Hey, not true! I just took Toy Story a little too seriously,” you defended.

“Okay, okay, that’s fair, I love Toy Story,” she concedes. “Actually… did you want to watch it?”

“Actually? Yeah, I’m down.”

“Nice, okay,” she stands up. “I have it on DVD, but the player is in my room, you cool with moving over there?”

“Yeah, yeah,” you nodded and followed her into her bedroom.

This was the first time you’d been in here. Unsurprisingly, her bedroom really screamed ‘Somi.’ The bedroom itself was similar to the rest of the apartment with it’s neutral tones and wooden furniture, off in the corner of the room was a full sized bed with a few select stuffed animals on it and off to another was a relatively simple PC set up with the TV mounted on the wall above it such that it faced the bed. There was a dresser and a clothes rack off in the other corner of the room and in the center was a round rug to fill in the space.

“Hey, you can come join me here now,” Somi pats the bed next to her and you sit down carefully. “What, I change up the scenery and you get all shy again?” She teases and you felt your face heat up.

“I mean… well,” you swallowed nervously. “No…” you finally pushed out and you moved closer to her. She turns the TV on and skips through the trailers before starting the movie. Were you getting shy again? True, you felt this lingering sense of awkwardness around you, but that was normal. Maybe being in her bedroom did change the mood a little, but you didn’t want to say anything and risk it all. The only thing you really cared about, though, was that this was so much more comfortable than the couch, and you were living for it. Every now and then you’d hear a small chuckle from her or a muted coo and it just sent your heart into a flurry. Secretly you hoped that she felt the same, but you knew better than to be selfish.

You didn’t even realize you’d fallen asleep until the sunlight danced over you the next morning. The space next to you was empty but there were signs of someone sleeping there earlier, and you could smell the faint aroma of pancakes.

Pancakes? Oh, she’s really spoiling you here.

You pushed yourself off of the bed and wandered back out of the room and spotted Somi at the stove, a stack of pancakes slowly growing on the counter next to her, and you quietly sat yourself at the counter while you watched her ministrations. You didn’t realize it until now, but she was very clean when it came to these things. Spilled pancake batter was wiped up immediately, her hands were kept washed the entire time, and the pancake stack was near pristine. The coffee machine next to you beeped and signaled that it was done.

“(Y/N), be a dear and pour some coffee for us,” she says without turning around.

“Yeah, sure,” you took the two mugs in front of it and prepared both of them. “Two sugars and cream, right?”

“That’s right,” she slides another pancake onto the stack while you added creamer into her mug. “I wasn’t sure which kind you liked, so I made blueberry pancakes and cinnamon ones too,” she says.

“Whoa, talk about boujee pancakes,” you teased.

“I just like to add a little bit of flair,” she takes the plate and turns around to place it between you both. “So, give it a taste,” she hands you a fork.

“They smell amazing,” you cut a piece and tried your first bite, “and they taste amazing too,” you were quick to go in for another.

“Thank you, thank you,” she holds down the pancake with her fork while you pull a piece off with yours. “Did you sleep well?”

“One of the best one’s I had in a while,” you covered your mouth with your hand as you spoke, mainly out of habit than anything. “How about you?”

“Ditto,” she nods. “I ended up falling asleep partway through the movie.”

“Same, I don’t even remember what the last scene I saw was.”

“Oh, hon, you fell asleep as soon as they got to Sid’s house.”

“Really? So you fell asleep after me then!”

“Pretty sure, yeah, you are so quiet when you’re asleep that I didn’t even realize I was the only one watching the movie.”

“Oh, dammit, we’re going to have to watch it again some time for sure then!”

“Next time you sleepover then,” she says.

“Definitely,” you answered without another thought.

The time was 9 in the morning. You knew that both of you had classes in two hours, but at that time it didn’t seem like either of you cared. Instead you were both more preoccupied with the person in front of them and how their eyes seemed to have a different shine in them than before, and there was also that new and slight upturn of one another’s lips that signaled a soft and sweet enjoyment that can only be found in the mornings when you are just barely awake, the first of what you hoped would be many.

~

And many it was. At this rate it was like you were living together with how often you stayed over. What was once only a few of your items became many. In the medicine cabinet next to the bathroom sink there were now two toothbrushes, the shelves were overflowing with various skincare products, the number of towels doubled, and suddenly the shampoo and conditioner bottles ran out faster. More food stocked the fridge and pantries, and the dishes piled faster than before. There was a slight and subtle change to the aesthetics of the apartment what with your own creative additions on top of Somi’s. Yours and her clothing mixed together, your styles adapting to one another, and soon you both realized that you were wearing the same outfits.

From an outsider’s perspective, anyone would have put a label on what the two of you had. But you’d never know, because this world existed only in the confines of this apartment. Even if the two of you ran into each other on campus, a very rare occurrence, your interactions were limited to small smiles and short waves. Your group of friends and her group of friends remained separate and oblivious to your growing situationship, and you were both careful in how you worded your experiences with each other to them.

In truth, you had to admit it, you’d fallen hopelessly in love with this woman, and you prayed that she felt the same. Never had either of you two dare utter a single word that could have alluded to something more than your casual relationship, for you it was because you didn’t want to lose her, and for her, you think, it’s because she didn’t see you that way at all. Oh, how you want to ask, how you want to pick apart her thoughts and find out just what she really thinks of you and whether or not you have a chance. You think you love her, if love is the word that describes the way your heart beats when you see her face, if love is the word that describes the way you daydream and fantasize of a life together, and if love is the word that describes the way you yearn for her touch every day, then yes, you love her.

“Wait, repeat that?” You asked her. You had agreed to help her get ready for a night out between your classes, anything just to be around her.

“It's easy, (Y/N),” she says while holding the rollers in her hands. “Start at the bottom, roll up.”

“Okay…" you took the roller.

“You've never used a roller?”

“I only use curling irons.”

“Oh, honey, those are so bad for your hair!” Your heart fluttered.

“I know, I know!” You took a small bunch of her hair, flattened it out, and rolled it around the roller. “Too tight?”

“Just right,” she hands you a clip and you secured it in place before picking up the next roller.

“So, what's the occasion tonight?” You asked her while getting started on the other roller.

“Blind date,” she shrugs. You swallowed harshly. It was instances like this, at 2:54 in the afternoon, that held you back from asking for the truth. If you had brought up to her that you’d fallen in love, would she cut this off forever? Short and casual, that was what she had written on her profile. She told you from the get go that she wasn’t expecting romance, just comfort, and you had willingly agreed, not knowing or thinking how it would come back to bite you.

“Oh yeah?” You finally answered.

“Yeah, my friends set me up with him,” she mutters. That didn’t sound right.

“Him?” You asked. Her expression falters for a moment and she hesitates before answering.

“Yeah, him,” she confirms.

Looks like you both had the same secret, then. You wanted to probe more, though, but you knew better than to pry, and who were you to talk anyway? You’d only ever come out to that creep in your class to get him to leave you alone. Your family doesn’t know, your friends don’t know, and you barely found out recently. Then, it all made sense, the fact that you both had your own world within these walls and you didn’t dare let it slip out into the world beyond. It was that certain fear that held you both back and, hell, maybe it was that same fear that held you back from confessing your true feelings to her too. You didn't even realize you paused your actions until her eyes slid up to look at yours through your reflections. 

“Okay,” you continued rolling her hair. “Have fun.” You didn’t mean for the responses to sound so curt.

“Thanks, (Y/N),” she smiles. Maybe you were imagining it, but there seemed to be some disappointment in it. Should you have said something? Should you have told her not to go? Held her back in some way? You were never good at reading people.

“All done,” you secured the last roller and leaned back.

“Whoa, you’re a natural, (Y/N),” she turns her head to either side to make sure all her hair had been tightly wrapped around the rollers. “Thanks, hon, sorry to eat up your gap time like this,” she turns to you.

“It’s fine! If I had something important I would’ve told you,” you reassured her. Truth be told, you probably should have stayed on campus. Your study group was cramming for your bio test as you spoke right now.

“I think I got it from here though, I won’t keep you if you have to study,” she says and you felt yourself pressing down on your fingernails again. Were you overthinking it? Did she want you to leave? Why would she bring that up if she wanted you to stay? You swallowed harshly yet again.

“I do have a midterm in a couple of hours…”

“Oh, shoot! Why didn’t you say so sooner?” Somi gasps. “I’m so sorry, (Y/N)!”

“No, no! Don’t apologize! It’s fine,” you waved your hand in front of you. “But, I think I’ll catch my study group, then, they should still be in the science library,” you checked the time.

“Yeah, yeah! No worries!”

“Let me know how your date goes,” you teased her.

“God, I can already feel that it’s going to be a whole train wreck,” Somi groans while she shakes her head. “I’ll see you soon, (Y/N),” she says.

“See you soon,” you grabbed your things and waved goodbye to her before leaving her apartment. You shot a quick text to your group chat, telling the rest of the study group that you were on your way.

‘Thank god, (Y/N)! You’re the only one who knows anything for this class’ You could almost hear Yeji’s voice.

‘Jaem keeps saying he knows but then we double check and he’s WRONG’ Keeho’s was as easy to hear as ever.

‘at least i’m trying’ Jaemin types the way he talks. Luckily for you, campus was only a ten minute walk away, not bad but not good either, and it took another five to get to the science library from where you were now, which left you a good three hours before your midterm.

And, in no time at all, you were seated with your study group in a room that Keeho had miraculously reserved for the whole semester. Good on him for thinking ahead, because this room had been witness to your development as a friend group. From the actual study sessions at the beginning, to the now prolonged breaks filled with trauma dumps from everyone, the third floor room 346 is a study room that will remain in your memories.

“So I told him ‘no and fuck off’ before storming out of that party,” Yeji rolls her eyes.

“(Y/N),” Jaemin said your name quietly so as not to disturb Yeji’s and Keeho’s pep talk with each other. You lean closer to him and he circles one of the practice questions with his stylus. You nod your head and look back at your worksheet.

“Oh, okay, so what you want to do first is determine the common trait those two have, then you can determine the common ancestor from that,” you explained to him.

“Got it, okay,” he returns to his world of studying while you did the same. Though seated next to each other, you each had your own bubble you stayed within, he was just so ‘in the zone’ when he studied and you were so ‘what the fuck am I doing?’ when you study that just thinking of intruding on each other would be catastrophic. But, before you could realize it, you were drawing scribbles on your notes and wondering how Somi’s date was going. You glanced at your phone, wondering if she’d send you an SOS text or start live texting the date to you, but your lock screen remained silent, with the only notifs coming in being from your classes. You focused on another question and immediately drew a blank.

“Hey, Jaem?” You glanced at the other two, who were now having a conversation about what the next best anime would be this season, before turning to Jaemin, who’s head had turned toward you while waiting for you to continue. “For number 34, does this have to do with mitochondrial genetics?”

“Uh…” he glances at his notes and flips through a few pages. “Yes?” He didn’t sound too sure. “Let me double check that, I thought it was just X-Linked genetics.”

“Wait, no, I can see that,” you looked at your notes again. “Sorry, can we compare notes really quick? I know it’s on this slide but I think I might have fallen asleep during this part of the lecture,” you slid your tablet toward him and he did the same with his and you both looked between your notes slides.

“Oh, here’s what you’re missing,” Jaemin highlighted the section that you didn’t write down.

“Thanks,” you both turned to each other and your breath caught in your throat.

Now, when did you two get so close to each other? Just inches apart and one wrong move could lead to some kind of physical contact. Jaemin’s glasses slide down the roof of his nose and, without thinking about it, you gently grabbed the junction of the arm and the frame to push it back up for him.

“Thank you too,” Jaemin was the first to pull back and, with one glance toward the other two, it became clear that they didn’t witness any of what had just happened. You turned to your notes, your body somewhat twisting away from his direction while you busied yourself with… cell anatomy. Dammit, (Y/N), if you were going to choose one slide to pretend to study at least make it something confusing like Hardy Weinberg.

But what was this feeling that creeped up on you? The way your heart skipped a beat when you turned toward him and saw just how close he was, it left your face heated and your breath unsteady. The last time you felt this way was with Somi, when you woke up from an impromptu nap and caught a small glimpse of her face while she read what had to be an engaging book of some sort. This was probably nothing, you think. It’s completely different than what you felt with Somi. You think so, at least. You shook your head, holding your hand to it to feign a headache.

“Oh, fuck, T minus one hour until that midterm,” Keeho panics.

“God, what kind of class has three midterms?! It’s called midterm for a reason!” Yeji finally opens her textbook.

“Numbers don’t define us,” Keeho mutters.

“For fucking real,” Yeji downs her coffee and focuses on the page in front of her.

Needless to say, that midterm was fucking horrible. Every single thing you had decided to ghost over because it was ‘common sense’ was worth a hefty twenty points in an exam you didn’t think would be free response. You swear you could hear the gears in your head moving on overdrive when you would have to reread another unfortunate question.

“I’m dropping out,” Yeji said as soon as you left the lecture hall.

“Numbers don’t define us,” Keeho repeated under his breath. You pulled your phone out and unsilenced it, and near instantly your phone flurried with notifications from whatever, but only two stood out to you.

‘Are you coming home today?’ Your sister.

‘Can you come over?’ Somi.

“Christ… I’m just gonna go home,” Yeji yawns. “I can’t, guys, like, I know we planned for ‘Hot Girl’ dinner but I am not feeling too hot after that,” she shakes her head.

“Wait, seriously? No way,” Keeho’s shoulders slump.

“Let’s just do it tomorrow, Keeho, I want to pass out,” Yeji argues.

“Yeah, I might go home too, that all nighter we pulled was intense,” Jaemin says.

“Damn… okay, fine, Yeji, I’ll walk with you back, my dorm’s on the way too.”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” Yeji waved and walked off with Keeho running close behind her.

“How about you, then?” Jaemin looks to you. You chanced a glance up at him.

“Uh…” you hesitated. “Don’t know yet,” you shrugged.

“I’ll walk you over to the pickup area,” Jaemin offers, “only if you want though,” he quickly added.

“Uh… yeah, yeah, I’d appreciate that,” you nodded your head and you both were on your way, neither text on your phone answered just yet. Jaemin’s hands were in his pocket, a miracle considering his messenger bag was somehow balanced on one shoulder. You didn’t know what it exactly was, but something about the way the sunset hit him framed him perfectly. His eyes slant over toward you.

“What are you looking at?”

“Nothing, just wondering what your skin care routine is,” you covered.

“Cleanser then moisturizer,” he shrugged.

“It’s always the boys who don’t care who have the best genes,” you sighed. You both came to a stop at the drop off, him waiting for you and you waiting to make a decision. 

“(Y/N), actually, could I—” he is cut off by a loud brring startling both you and him. Somi’s name appeared on your phone and you scrambled to answer it.

“Sorry, Jaem, give me a second,” you apologized quickly and held it to your ear.

“(Y/N)?” Somi’s voice was different. “Sorry, I’m sorry if you’re busy, but could you come over? Please?”

“I, uh,” you looked over to Jaemin, who wasn’t listening to you intentionally. He rose an eyebrow toward you as if to ask if something was wrong. “Yeah, I’ll be right there,” you said.

“Thank you, thank you, just… take your time, it’s okay.” Name a more obvious way to tell you to get there as soon as possible.

“Sorry, Jaemin, that was a…” you trailed off, trying to find the right word to use, “friend of mine.” It didn’t feel right to call her that. “She really needs some help right now, I think I’ll head over to her apartment,” you pointed in its general direction. “What were you trying to tell me again?” You looked at him and he shook his head.

“Nothing important,” he says. “I was just going to ask when you were going to get your license,” he smiles at the end and you pushed him lightly.

“Jerk.”

“I’m just asking,” he raises his hands up.

“Soon, okay? I’m working on it!” You rolled your eyes. “But, still, thanks… I appreciate you waiting with me.”

“Any time, did you want me to walk you over to your friend too?”

“No, no, it’s okay,” you waved your hand. “But, uh… if I call you, just pick up, you don’t have to say anything,” you added. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow,” he waited for you to leave first, and that you did. Your phone was in your hand, having typed out an apology to your sister and a confirmation to Somi. You chanced a look back at your friend, ready to wave goodbye, but, instead, he was sitting down on the bench, his elbows on his knees and his hands covering his face. You looked down at your phone again, a recent text from Somi telling you to take your time, but you knew better, you knew her better. But Jaemin was also your friend too. But Somi… You turned away from him and continued on your way.

When was the last time she called you when she was like this? A while ago, actually. You really didn’t have time to think about it, as soon as you got to her apartment and you saw that it was unlocked, you knew that there was something very wrong. You locked the door on your way in and looked around. The apartment was silent, clean, and untouched.

“Somi?” You called out to her. No answer. You walked further into the apartment, checking her usual spots. The couch was empty, the kitchen unused, and the bathroom was wide open too, and that left one place. The walk to her bedroom seemed much longer than usual, but when you finally got to it, your hand hovered in front of the door, ready to knock but not knowing what exactly to say. Carefully, gently, you knocked on it.

“It’s open,” Somi’s voice was quiet. You opened the door as slowly as you’d knocked on it and you saw her wrapped up in her comforter in bed. You approached her and she turned away so that her back was facing you. Your heart ached for her, there was this inexplicable draw that dragged you toward her and you wanted nothing more than to comfort her and to find out just what happened for her to near seclude herself like this.

“Hey, it’s cool if I sit on your bed in jeans, right?” You tried to joke with her. No response. You sat down with your back to her now. You twisted so that you could see the outline of herself hidden under that huge blanket. “What happened?” You chanced a dangerous question. You never asked what’s wrong, she never asked what’s wrong, you just called or texted one another and you showed up here. This was a barrier, one of many that you both agreed to put up, if she answered you now then what would that mean for the both of you? She didn’t answer, and you thought that that was it, you turned away and shook your head, you didn’t know why you even asked.

“It was bad… really bad,” she answered. You turned to her and she was looking at you.

“Oh, Somi,” you leaned down and brushed the hair out of her face and tucked the loose strands behind her ear. Her lips slipped into a frown for a moment before it flattened again. “Did you want to talk about it?”

“I…” she hesitated and averted her eyes for a moment. “I’m not out to my friends.”

“Neither am I,” you shook your head.

“They keep setting up these dates with these guys they think I’d like, and I keep going to them thinking maybe something will be different,” she shakes her head. “But… no, they always end up the same. I hate it, I hate those men they’re all the same in the end they’re all…” she trails off and shakes her head again. “He was a real asshole, (Y/N), I wish you were there to see it.”

“The money I’d pay to see you talk some sense into him,” you agreed.

“Homophobic asshole…” she grimaced. “I, uh… I told him at the end of the date that I had fun, but I didn’t want to give him false hope. So… I told him I didn’t think we should have a second date,” Somi’s voice started to wobble.

“And?” This was it, the meat of the story.

“He called me a dyke.”

“Oh that asshole,” you gasped.

“I know! I know, and you know me, usually I’d fight back but…” she stops. “I couldn’t. I couldn’t say anything because if I did then I’d be coming out to some ugly, no life jerk who throws a hissy fit when he doesn’t get what he wants,” she sits up, but keeps the blanket tightly wrapped around her. “That’s the thing with this country… people don’t get what they want so instead they find other ways to degrade others even if they don’t know the meaning of their words,” she says quietly. “Nearly every man I’ve tried to go on a date with has been so… so horrible, I…” she struggled to get her words out.

“It’s okay, Somi, it’s okay,” your hands tangled in her hair and you did your best to comfort her. “But… he didn’t do anything to you, right?”

“No, I got out before he had the chance,” she says. “It’s just that… I don’t know, he was so aggressive and I was just so scared,” she shuts her eyes as if to shut the memory out. “But it got me thinking, of course every date I’ve had with men was horrible, I’m not attracted to them. Yet on the other side every woman I’ve dated hasn’t ended well either. I think I have something good and then they’re gone. Faster than I could ask what happened,” she covers her face in her hands and drags it down her face. Then, silently, she reaches into the drawer next to her and pulls out a small box and a lighter. “I…” she stops talking, holding the cigarette between her lips. She looks at the lighter in her hands and, after some hesitation, she hands it to you. “Keep this away from me.” You nodded and placed it on a further shelf. She rolls the cigarette from one side of her mouth to another.

“You smoke?”

“Used to.”

“Used to?”

“Sophomore year was hard.”

“Is that a warning?”

“Sure.”

“I can barely make it through my freshman courses,” you chuckled. She pulled the cigarette out of her mouth and chucked both back into the drawer. “If you used to smoke, then why do you keep those?”

“I don’t really know,” she shrugs, “you saw me just now, if I didn’t stop to think about it, I probably would have rebounded,” she places a hand on her forehead and brushes her hair back. “God, (Y/N), I’m a wreck, aren’t I?” She looks at you sadly and you freeze. What should you say?

“Yeah, you are,” you nodded your head. You probably could have worded that better. “But that makes you you, right? You wouldn’t be Somi if you didn’t fuck up here and there.”

“Even if those fuck ups are, like, really bad?”

“Even if they’re really bad, yeah,” you nodded again.

“(Y/N), I’ve done so many things that I’ve regretted,” she says.

“I’m sure we both have.”

“Oh, (Y/N), you don’t even know,” she hit her head against the wall. “With all the shit I’ve done to my previous partners… it’s no wonder I’ll never be loved like that again,” she closes her eyes gently now.

“Hey, don’t say that,” you answered too quickly. She opened her eyes and they landed on you. It was offensive, almost, for her to say that. You loved her, you think you do. Even now, just being here, your heart beat towards her and your thoughts were filled of her at almost every waking hour. You loved her, and she didn’t see that, or she didn’t want to. “There’s plenty to love about you,” you added quietly.

“Like what?”

“Like how you look out for everyone, even if you don’t like them,” you thought about more, “like how you modify your recipes when you know someone doesn’t like a certain ingredient, or like how you wake up early whenever people stay over to make them breakfast…” you catch yourself, pausing for a moment, and never once did she look away from you. She knew it as much as you did and she probably caught onto it before you did too. “Somi, I…” you looked at her and, without saying anything more, she leaned toward you, her hand resting on your cheek and then she stopped, just centimeters away from your lips. Your eyes widened and both of your breaths stilled.

Another barrier.

Skinship only, no kissing. No feelings, no strings, and no expectations for something more. That was the deal.

But you didn’t like that deal anyway.

You closed the gap. Your lips pressed against her’s softly, and it felt wonderful. This surge of ecstasy shot through you and left you wanting more, and when she pressed forward against you it was like pure bliss. It was her who pushed away first, and before you could say anything, she beat you to the punch.

“Better than orientation?”

“Way better,” you nodded slightly. A small smile rose on her lips and she looked away for a moment before looking to you again.

“Can I kiss you again?”

“Yes,” you both leaned into each other and held onto the other, with every kiss growing in intensity and every touch being softer and still more passionate than before and as this barrier fell and crumbled, another threatened to fall. Her hand rested on your bare hip and yours wandered around her body, was this alright? Was this safe? Was this something you should do? You felt this desire in you that you’d never felt before, but you were afraid that it was going to fast, you were afraid that you’d mess up in your motions and that you’d never see her again, but you couldn’t stop, you didn’t want to stop.

There’s no going back.

You gripped onto the hem of your shirt and her hand wraps around your wrist.

“Are you sure?” She asks you. She’s never had a more serious look before.

“Yes, I’m sure,” you nodded and she let your hand go. You pulled your shirt over your head and she did the same with hers, then she wrapped her hands around you and snapped your bra open before pulling it off, and again the two of you connected. Your hands, unsure, moved to her breasts, and you fondled them the same way you did your own those sparing times you’d found the chance to explore yourself, and as you did so her lips trailed along your face. You moved until you were straddling her now and her hands hooked under your waistband.

“I hate jeans in bed,” she says against your skin.

“I know, I’m sorry,” you answered.

“God, they’re just so damn hard to pull off,” she says with an airy laugh. You laughed too, pressing your forehead against her shoulder, you helped her pull your jeans off and soon you were left in nothing but your panties. And all the while you avoided your own gaze in the mirror. Of all the times to think of this, your first time would be marked by your own fear. Somi moved to the other side of you, crawling off the bed and turning you with her and away from the mirror, she kneels on her carpeted floor nestled between your legs. She tugs at the elastic now and you nod your head, watching her slowly pull your panties off until they dropped to the floor.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” She looks up at you, both of her hands were resting on your thighs. She massaged slow circles into them. 

“I’ve never done this before,” you told her. “But, I trust you,” you added.

“We can stop, it’s okay if you’re not comfortable.”

“No, no, it’s okay, we can keep going,” despite your words, you couldn’t look at her, your face was too hot with embarrassment. She presses small kisses to your thighs now, and the air against your now exposed pussy was cold. You let out small whimpers as she moved up the inside of your thighs and stopped just before your pussy. “It’s okay, I trust you,” you told her. She blew onto your clit softly.

“I’ll go slow,” she says before lightly licking up your pussy. Your whole body shuddered around her, and you did your best to keep your legs opened. She pushes forward and you felt her tongue start to move around inside of you, pulling out strained sounds you didn’t even know you could make. “Just relax, (Y/N), I’ll take care of you,” she says against you, only eliciting another moan.

“Mm, Somi, I…” you swallowed your words down when she gently sucked at your clit. “It feels, ah, it feels good…” your voice trailed off and you felt yourself start to relax, though your hands squeezed at the bedding under you. Her tongue starts to move deeper into you and you sighed. Then you felt her push a finger into your pussy and your whole body tensed again. She paused for a moment. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” you pushed her forward and she continued. You could feel your wetness start to pool under you and the embarrassment grew. But you couldn’t think about it for long, no, not when she added another finger and started to make slight scissoring motions with them. Your hands slid against the comforter as you moaned more.

“You’re doing well, (Y/N),” Somi praises you.

“I…” your words are swallowed up by your pleasure again. “I feel tight,” you muttered.

“That’s okay, baby, just let it out,” she guides you.

“Mm,” you grasped at the couch cushions and you felt your hips buck forward, your pussy clamped down on her fingers and you let out a loud groan before relaxing again.

“Oh, honey, don’t tell me that’s the first time you cummed,” she props her head up on one elbow. First time someone’s made you cum, that’s for sure, but not the first time you’ve cummed at all. “So quickly too…” she clicks her tongue.

“I…” your face was hot with… something. You’d never felt this way before, but, again, you’d never experienced this before, you’d never experienced this level of passion. Then, with both hands on either side of your thighs, she rose up and pressed her lips to yours in a searing yet soft kiss. You could taste the bitterness of yourself on her, it mixed with that lingering taste of strawberry ice cream you’d both shared earlier, and, in whatever hot fervor you had, you opened your lips slightly and pushed against her, allowing for her to deepen the already sensual kiss. “I want to do that again,” you told her when you finally pulled away.

“Are you sure?” She asked this question, yet her hand rested on the inside of your thigh, ready to move at a moment’s notice. Her thumb ran circles over the sensitive skin in a teasingly slow motion that still somehow had you reeling. You could only nod your head shakily, wanting— no— needing more. You’d never felt this way before and you wanted so much more. She began to press kisses down your jawline, now, as she lowered you to your back and slid her hand up your legs and over your pussy. She presses two fingers in now and you let out a quick gasp before pressing your head against the mattress. She lowered her face to your clit once more, being precise in her movements, and her tongue swirled around your clit, flicking it up every so now and then and leaving you a moaning mess against her. She pressed sloppy kisses against your pussy now, making obscene noises all along the way while swallowing your wetness whenever she found the opportunity to do so. Your hand pressed down on the top of her head, this newfound pleasure becoming more and more addicting, and in your search to find something— anything to touch, you ended up lightly squeezing your own breast, playing with the nipple that had grown much more sensitive.

Then you felt that tightness growing in your abdomen again, the tell tale sign of pleasure, but right before you felt it reach its climax you stopped, nudging her head for her to look at you.

“Yes?” There was a small smile on her lips.

“Could I…” you swallowed harshly, still panting from your moans before. “Could I try it?” You asked her. She rests her head against your thigh.

“You’ll have to be more specific than that, baby,” she cooed. You turned away for a moment, your face hot with pleasure and embarrassment.

“Oral, let me try it,” you were able to push out. Again, she grins, a Cheshire like smile like she’d heard what she wanted, and she stood up slowly, sensually, and pulled her shorts down before sitting next to you with a small bouncing motion.

“Okay,” she says. “Give it a shot, I’m already worked up anyway,” she says. You chanced a quick look over of her, the wet patch on her underwear out in plain sight. “Or… did you need some help with that?” She brought one leg up while leaving the other hanging off the bed.

“No, I can do it,” you leaned down, pulling her panties off with some confidence before immediately losing it.

“Just take it slowly,” she says. You nodded slightly, trying to do as she did with you albeit sloppier with your inexperience. Then, steeling yourself with whatever, you licked your tongue up one of her lips that dripped with wetness. “Whoa, baby, relax,” despite the levelness of her words, you felt her legs tighten slightly around your head, “slower, take your time,” she says while gently running her thumb along your collarbone.

Slowly, okay, you can do that. You tried to replicate what she did earlier, though it was obviously affected by your inexperience, when you heard her quieted sighs you felt this entirely different rush than before, just as if something had sparked within you.

“Mm, okay, let’s, ah, let’s take it up now,” Somi rubs the top of your head slightly, then she moves her hand to her pussy, spreading it open for you. “Know what I mean?” She was barely out of breath while she traced them with her index finger, hinting to you what she wanted you to do. Again, your nod was unsure, but you leaned forward and pressed an experimental finger into her, eliciting a sharp gasp from her.

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” you apologized quickly.

“No, no, don’t apologize, it feels good,” she nodded against the pillows. “Deeper, (Y/N),” she nods firmer. You obliged and, as you did so, she pulled you up to her so that you straddled her waist and she pushed your head down against hers, locking your lips into yet another open kiss. Your tongues moved against each other, probing and swirling all around while you boldly added another finger to prompt Somi to kiss you harder with both arms wrapped around your neck. She separated from you only once, just enough to lean against your ear to whisper praises while you finger fucked her for the first time. “Good, girl, just like— haa,” her head hit the cushion hard while her body tensed under you. “Are you sure you’ve never done this before?” She asks.

“Not on anyone, no, just on myself,” you answered. You felt the walls of her pussy clamp around your fingers and you leaned forward so that your head was next to hers. Your heads turn to each other and, before you could say anything more, she presses her lips against yours. 

“Did you know that you’re dripping all over my bed?” She grins before moving you so that you were beneath her, “tell me if you want me to stop,” she says before bending down to your pussy and attaching her lips to it, eating you out with a new fervor you’d thought you’d only ever see in porn. Every now and then she’d look up at you with wide eyes that’d relax into more sultry ones as each lick was followed with a line of slick from your vag. 

It was all so… erotic. The way she held your legs open, the way she swirled her tongue inside of you, and— god— the way she looked at you. You felt like cumming from that alone.

It was a long night. You didn’t have a chance to check the time, you didn’t really care much for it right now. All you could think about was her, Somi, and the way she drove you into bliss. You’re pretty sure you loved her, you trusted her at least, you trusted her with your first time, and you were enjoying every second of it.

~

Again it was like a domino effect. That first time with her was certainly not the last. Every now and then she would bring up some strange thing she found in her “research” and she’d ask if you’d want to try it, and near every time you’d said yes. You were open to exploring your sexuality and so was she. You’d tried a lot now together, actually, role play, ice play, sensory deprivation, and even some shibari, which the two of you would likely never do again. You should’ve been more wary when she came back with a Home Depot bag in hand and a devilish glint in her eyes.

So this is what it felt like, friends with benefits. Just sex, sex, and more sex, and if you were lucky there was the cuddle session somewhere in between too, but you didn’t hate it. You rather enjoyed it, spending time with her and trying new things, and always after it ended the same way regardless of whether or not you or her were tired. Before you knew it, you and Somi had been together in this strange relationship for near four months now, a track that you were sure that only you were keeping track of, celebrating milestones in silence and maybe overthinking the days she seemed a little more affectionate that overlapped with those milestones. Some days you wondered if this was how things usually went, was this the normal pacing of a relationship? You wished you had someone to ask, someone to talk to about this, but, amazingly, these four months stayed within these walls, unknown to the outside world.

“They always make those cakes look so good,” Somi says with a slight twinge of disbelief. Her arms were wrapped around your nude body and you nodded against her chest.

“I always crave cake, too,” you sighed. This was the usual aftercare.

The Great British Baking Show. Or better known as the show that turned you and Somi into backseat bakers.

“Ugh, the green and blue did not mix well together,” you commented.

“Honestly! She should’ve gone for the blue and purple, or at least a different shade of green,” she adds on.

“We should try baking sometime,” you wondered aloud.

“Oh we definitely should,” she nods while her hands wander further down.

“Somi,” your voice had a warning tone. It’s not that you didn’t want to have sex, it’s more that you wanted to finish this episode.

“Come on, I’ll pause the show.”

“No, it’s not the same,” you shook your head.

“Fine, fine,” her hands nestle on your hips once more, but her lips still moved about, biting softly on the shell of your ear. “You look like you want to ask me something,” she said quietly.

“Uh… yeah, do you think I can stay over tonight?” You asked. Tonight was one of those rare nights both of your parents would be out of the house and your younger sibling was staying over at a friend’s. The house was empty, and having Somi over was a bad idea considering the Ring cameras all outside your house, and so the next best thing was to stay over. Plus, you finally did the right thing and got your parents’ blessing to stay the night at a “friend’s” house.

“Not tonight, I’m sorry, (Y/N). I have plans later tonight,” she says.

“No, no, all good, I’ll ask another friend of mine,” you nodded.

“Are you sure?” Before you could answer her, her doorbell rang, and while you made a move to get more comfortable in her covers, she stood up straight. “Shit.”

“What? What’s wrong?” You sat up now, the comforter that previously covered you fell onto your lap. She looks at you before looking at her bedroom door.

“Oh, fuck, I completely forgot,” she rubs her hair harshly and tumbles out of bed, falling harshly on the floor.

“Somi! Oh my god, be careful!” You followed her and helped her up, and as soon as she was on her two legs, she shoved a set of clothes in her hands.

“Get dressed, (Y/N), my parents are here.”

“Your parents are what?!” You scrambled to put your bra on.

“Here! They’re here! I forgot, my mom flew in recently and of course she’d want to visit me, I… fuck!” She fell back on her bed in a rushed attempt to pull on a pair of shorts.

“Parents, oh hell…” your hand covered your mouth. Parents, you’re about to meet her parents. Now this isn’t something you’d predicted at all, but then again you and Somi had been doing this, whatever this was, for almost two months now. But parents? Her parents? Oh hell, you’re so fucked. You don’t even know what to say to them, how would you introduce yourself to them? How would you even explain why you were in Somi’s apartment wearing her clothes? Your mind was tossed into a spiral that you hadn’t felt in a very long time, and you felt this strange sense of dread forming in your abdomen.

“Okay, okay, this is fine, just act natural, (Y/N),” you both rush out into the main room and you took a seat on the couch while Somi opened the door.

“Mom, dad!” Somi grinned ear to ear and you swear you saw a halo of light form around her head. “Come in, come in! How was the flight?” She’s almost too good at hiding.

“It was good, enjoyable even,” her mother says. She then notices you. “Oh! Did you have a friend over?” You waved shyly.

“I did, yes, mom, dad, this is my best friend (Y/N),” she gestures toward you. But you stopped listening after she called you her best friend. What the hell was that? You literally had your entire tongue all up in her pussy less than an hour ago and now you’re just best friends? You held it in, took a deep breath, and smiled.

“Hello Mr. and Mrs. Douma,” you greeted them.

“Oh! Hi there,” her mother grins. “I didn’t know Ennik had such pretty friends.”

“Ennik?” You glanced over at her.

“Right, right, you like to go by Somi,” her father laughs.

“I don’t want to intrude, so I think I’ll head out now,” you made a move to head toward the front door, but her mom stops you.

“No, no! You should stay, (Y/N). Come on, I’ll make food for all of us,” she insists. And who were you to say no? You thought that at one point they would be your in-laws, but now you were starting to feel like that was a delusion.

And now that you were all seated at a table together, you felt like you’d learned so much about Somi, Ennik, all together. But, of all the cute things that her parents shared, there was one glaring truth that pierced your heart. Somi hadn’t come out to them. To her parents, she was still straight.

“How was that boy I set you up with, Ennik?” Her mother asks. A boy? You didn’t hear about her meeting anyone, not since that incident weeks ago.

“He was fine,” Somi responded as if she’d been practicing.

“I heard you went on more than three dates this time,” she chuckles. “Usually you give up after the first one, I guess this one was special, right? See, hon? I told you! No one knows our Ennik better than I do,” she nudges her husband.

“That’s right, mom!” Somi matched her energy. But all you could do was play with your food. Occasionally you’d eat a bite here and there so that they didn’t suspect, but there was just this heavy pit in your heart that threatened to swallow you whole, and for some reason it made you nauseous. Was it just you or was it hard to breathe in here? “Well, (Y/N)?” Somi’s mother turned to you.

“Sorry?” You shook your head.

“Oh, I was just wondering if you had a nice boy in your life too! You’re very pretty, I’m sure the boys are lining up to meet you,” she chuckles. The first person you thought of was Jaemin. Would he even be open to being in a relationship with you? He struck you as the kind of guy who was focusing on his education more than looking for something to commit to. But you wouldn’t say that you couldn’t see a future with him. Though you had to admit, while you saw yourself having something short with Jaemin, you could see your whole life with the woman to your right side.

“Yeah, there’s someone I’m interested in,” you finally answered, whether you were thinking of Somi or Jaemin you didn’t have time to figure out.

“See! Maybe since Ennik is with someone like you she’d find someone to settle down with,” her mother grins. “You should introduce Ennik to some of your friends.”

“Mom!” Ennik’s face reddens with embarrassment.

“I’m just saying, honey, your father and I want to take care of our grandchildren soon! You’re not getting any younger,” she says.

“Honey, maybe we shouldn’t talk about this with a stranger at the table,” Somi’s dad cuts in.

“Oh, it’s fine, they’re friends, right?” Somi’s mother looks to Somi, and you looked to her as well.

“Yeah, mom, (Y/N) and I are just friends!” She didn’t have an ounce of remorse on her features. You of all people should understand, you weren’t out to your parents either, but to lie to her parents with no consideration toward you? It didn’t even look like she regretted it one bit, and you knew Somi to wear her emotions on her sleeve. You turned away and drank some of your water. How ridiculous this all was, maybe it was always one sided from the start and everything these past few weeks was some delusion you fed yourself. How stupid of you to trust that you could give her your heart, how stupid of you. It was both of your agreed boundaries from the start to never expect anything deeper. There was a whole other conversation going on in front of you, one you weren’t a part of, and suddenly you felt this cold isolation building around you. Your skin was chilled but your heart was racing, and not in the good way. You felt all of your nerves tense up and you could feel the cold sweat at the back of your neck.

You had to get out of here.

You turned your phone over under the table and, keeping the screen hidden from Somi, you set a timer to go off after two minutes. Two minutes, that’s all you needed to pretend like everything was fine, and you’d pretend that someone was on the phone.

Brring!

Someone beat you to the punch. You canceled the timer and answered it without looking at the caller ID, you didn’t have the thought to. You just needed an excuse to leave.

“I’m sorry, I need to take this,” you apologized to her parents, who were staring right at you. “Hello?” You spoke while you stood up. You pushed your chair in and walked off into the bathroom.

“Hey, (Y/N).” It was Jaemin. You looked at yourself in the mirror, but then you quickly averted your eyes and leaned against the bathroom sink.

“Hey, Jaem, what’s up?” You asked him. He’s not the kind to call you.

“Are you busy?” You looked at the locked door.

“Not really, why?” You answered after some hesitation.

“Are you still on campus? If you’re free, I was wondering if we could study together at Starbucks.”

“Oh, right, for the precalc quiz, right?”

“Yeah.” Strange, Jaemin’s best subject was precalc right now. If you strained enough, you could hear the conversation behind you. Something about you.

“Sure, I’ll be there, I’ll head over right now.”

“Right now? Yeah, sure, I’m already here.”

“Okay, sounds like a plan, I’ll see you in a bit,” you caught your reflection on the medicine cabinet’s mirror and you wiped away the tears from your eyes.

“See you.” You hung up first, turning around fully and fixing your face before you walked back out.

“I’m sorry about that,” you apologized quickly.

“Who was that?” Somi asks, her voice noticeably different from before, but you couldn’t quite distinguish why.

“Uh… Jaemin,” you couldn’t, shouldn’t, come up with a lie.

“Who’s that?” Somi asks. No, you knew what that was. Your jaw tensed up and you took a second to calm down.

“Just someone I’m interested in,” you answered. Somi’s expression remained flat, though, but you could see some hint of shock in her eyes.

“And that’s how you do it, Ennik, if there’s someone you’re interested in, you pursue after them. This is why you keep complaining about being alone here!” Her mother shouts. You looked between them.

“Christ, mom! You’re doing this now?!” Somi finally lost her patience.

“Stop it, both of you!” Her father shouts. “You should go, (Y/N), I’m sorry about them.” You nodded your head slowly.

“I’m sorry for intruding, Somi didn’t tell me she was expecting people over, if I knew I wouldn’t have come,” you apologized to her father. You grabbed your things from the couch. “Bye, Somi. Thank you for lunch, Mr. and Mrs. Douma,” you nodded your head toward them and saw yourself out.

Then you were alone again. But you didn’t have time to worry, you didn’t have time to be afraid. Instead, your mind filled with a toxin you didn’t see coming, how could you?

“(Y/N)!” And she made it so much worse. “Let me walk you back!”

“No, it’s fine,” you said.

“You hate walking alone, let me walk you,” she says.

“Leave me alone,” you picked up the pace.

“Hold on, please!” She catches up with you easily, stopping in front of you. “What’s wrong?” She says between breaths. You scoffed and walked around her. The nerve. She knows what she did.

“Don’t worry about it, just talk with your parents,” you said back at her, but she didn’t stop there, she kept her pace with you.

“No, come on, I know you. I know my parents are a lot but I had to say what I said back there,” Somi defended while she stopped you in your tracks again.

“I know, and I understand that,” you said to her. “But that doesn’t mean that it still doesn’t hurt,” you shook your head.

“(Y/N)…” she reached out to you but you took a step back.

“Tonight… your plans are with that guy, huh?” You asked her. Somi stilled.

“I have to, my parents set us up.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you waved your hand and walked away from her again.

“(Y/N)! Come on, don’t be like that!”

“Don’t be like what, Somi?!” You whipped your head back. “Huh?!”

“Don’t—” She paused and took a deep breath. “You should understand where I’m coming from. It’s not like you’re out to your parents either!”

“Yeah, I know that, Somi, that’s why I said that I did understand. But it still fucking sucks and you can’t be upset at me for feeling bad for lying to your parents! They’re your parents for fucks sake!”

“Lying about what?” She asks you. She shakes her head. Your shoulders slumped.

“Ha,” you scoffed again. You were right. This was all one sided from the start. “Whatever.” You tried to ignore her.

“I don’t understand why this is such a big deal! You don’t even know what your sexuality is!” She shouts. Now you’re pissed. You marched back to her.

“Don’t you fucking dare assume you know me,” your voice was firm. “Don’t you dare say that when we’ve been seeing each other sexually for the past two months, Christ, Somi, we were just having sex a few hours ago and you think you can tell me I’m not sure of my sexuality? I’ve never been more sure. If anyone here has to check then it’s you. You say you’re a lesbian but all I hear from you are failed dates with men, what do you expect, Somi? What do you want me to say?” She’s silent, and you don’t know why. Does she really have nothing more to say for herself? She takes a deep breath. “Just go back home, Somi.”

“I’ll cancel tonight.”

“No, no, don’t do that,” you shook your head. “I already found another place to stay.” You were lying.

“No, (Y/N), come on,” she says.

“No, Somi. You said it yourself, you have to do this for your parents, and I get that. I’d do the same if my parents did that too,” you tried to calm yourself down. That’s how the both of you were, you had your arguments with your parents, but you still loved them, you couldn’t just break their hearts and Somi was the same. Countless times you’d heard her praise her parents, you’d heard the way she spoke of them so highly with so much tenderness in her voice, so you really truly understood where she was coming from. “I have to go now.”

“Are you really going to see someone else?” She asks.

“Yeah, I am,” you didn’t know why she was so pressed about that. She’s been seeing others too.

“Are you actually interested in him or did you say that because of my mom?”

“Why do you care so much?” She couldn’t answer. But you wanted her to, you wanted her to tell you not to see him so fucking bad. But she didn’t. There was a tense silence between you both, disturbed only by the cars driving past you. “You said it yourself, Somi, you didn’t lie about anything,” you said quietly, “I’m leaving now,” you cut the conversation. 

“If you leave, then it’s over between us,” Somi says suddenly.

“And what was between us, Somi?” You asked. She didn’t answer. So you left. And, this time, she didn’t try to stop you.

You were on autopilot after that, walking all the way to the Starbucks on campus without paying attention to much else, you were too angry to even worry about anything else. And you really thought your walk calmed you down, but it was just a small question that made you feel like sobbing.

“Hey, (Y/N)—” Jaemin stopped before he said anything more. “What happened?” He asked it so sweetly and, instead of answering him, you buried your face in your hands.

And that’s how your second heartbreak happened. You felt like shutting the world out, and so you did. The voices of people around you fell muted, the sound of passing cars too, and finally the sound of Jaemin packing his things in front of you. You heard him knock on the table in front of you and you slid your hands down your face just enough to see him.

“Wanna head out?” He asks. You nodded and followed him. The walk was silent, but you didn’t hate it. You followed him to his dorm, something you thought you’d never do, but here you were. You’re just not making any good decisions today, aren’t you? Your phone kept going off with texts from Somi, all of which you didn’t pay attention to, and you were left asking the same question you asked her to yourself. Why did you care so much?

“Sorry, Jaemin, I know you wanted to study,” you sighed. He unlocked the door and let you inside first.

“Don’t worry about it, (Y/N),” he closed it behind you both. “We all have our days.”

“Yeah, but you weren’t supposed to see mine,” you looked around. It came as no surprise that it was neat, it was more surprising that both sides of the dorm were clean, but it was so easy to guess which side was Jaemin’s, what with the various cameras and pictures taped to the wall. Huh, funny, when did you find out that Jaemin was into that? Probably around the same time you started posing for the pictures he thought he was taking when you all didn’t notice.

“You can sit anywhere, my roommate went home for the week,” he starts picking up loose items before stacking them on his roommate’s desk while you took a seat at his. Jaemin reaches over you and hands you a photo album.

“You’re… you’re not going to ask?” You felt like you were starting to cry now.

“I don’t know about you, but I always hated it when people make me talk about why I’m sad when it’s obvious, it always made me more frustrated,” he leans against his roommate’s desk while turned toward you. “Did you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“That’s what I figured,” he pulls his phone out and gestures for you to open the photo album. So you did. And it was probably one of the nicest things you’d ever seen. On the first page was the year with the caption ‘Freshman Year’ under it, and in the pages following were various pictures taken at various events. The first couple you could tell was orientation since they depicted a lot of the games and events you remembered from yours too. The next few were events you recognized, since you were there too, they were pictures of the study group back when it was just a study group, what with the pictures of you standing in front of a whiteboard with senseless equations on it and with other pictures of Keeho struggling flipping through his textbooks. Then there were pictures of when that study group became a friend group, pictures of the outings you went to, the impromptu food runs, and the late night roadtrips. And, slowly, you started to notice a trend where you became the subtle subject of the photos, moving from the sidelines to the forefront, and you didn’t hate it. You, who could barely look in the mirror, loved seeing these pictures of you, what are the odds?

“Hey, you’re really good,” you complimented him. “I don’t even remember you taking half of these.”

“That’s probably because I was trying to be subtle about it, I was going for candid photos but, I gotta ask, when did you start noticing?”

“Around that time we went to get ramen, you accidentally turned your flash on so I started paying more attention,” you said it with a teasing voice.

“Dammit, I really thought I played that one off too,” he laughs.

“Right, right, you said you accidentally turned your flashlight on, like I’d fall for that one,” you rolled your eyes, but maintained a small smile. No wonder you started becoming the subject, you thought. You’re the one who noticed he was taking these small pictures in the first place.

“I was going to show you all once the year ended, actually,” he notices you flipping through the empty pages. “Or probably when we all graduate, I think that would’ve been more nostalgic.”

“So why show me now?”

“Why not?”

“Good question,” you turned back to the last couple. You had a hunch, but you felt like it would be ridiculous to say it out loud. “But I asked you first,” you couldn’t deny that you were curious.

“Well… nothing lasts forever, right?” He asks. You look at him. “I know it’s bad to think like this, but sometimes I wonder if our group will stick together for our whole four years. Then Yeji does something outrageous that makes me realize ‘oh fuck I’m stuck with these people for four years’ and that anxiety leaves, but, then it comes back,” he’s never really talked this much with you before. Maybe it was because you were in a space he was comfortable in, or maybe it was because he was with you, you didn’t know. “I guess I showed it to you because…” he trails off and adjusts his position on the desk. You couldn’t ignore the twinge of pink on his face and at the tips of his ears. But you stayed silent, because you didn’t know what to say to what you thought he was going to say. He takes a deep breath. “I want us to…” he trails off again, as if picking the right words in his head right now. “I want to spend my four years with you, at the very least.” Why did you feel some relief when he said that? It wasn’t a confession, it was a wish.

“I think we will,” you said.

“Yeah?”

“I don’t know, I don’t plan on leaving you or the group, at least,” you crossed your legs on the chair. “Do you?”

“Nope, I enjoy spending time with you all, even if we don’t get any work done,” he chuckles.

“What counts is that we do get work done when we have to,” you place the photo album back where it came from and rubbed your eyes. “I still can’t believe we spent a whole semester together, and that we’re still hanging out now that a new one started,” you mumbled.

“I know, our schedules are a little different now.”

“Like they weren’t before,” you remembered the struggles of planning anything with all of you. “It feels like I’ve known you all for ages.”

“Right? You all already know too much about me,” he shakes his head.

“God, this is why drinking together is dangerous,” you laughed, remembering the time you all drank together in Keeho’s dorm, and how you all knocked out on his floor too. Jaemin looks at the clock off to the side.

“Hey, want me to walk you back to the drop off? You usually get picked up around this time, right?” He asks.

“Uh… no, it’s fine,” you shook your head. Right, you needed a place to stay tonight, and going home wasn’t an option since you didn’t have a ride. 

“You sure? I noticed you don’t like being alone,” he says. Would it be too much for you to ask if you could stay over? Were you close enough to ask that? You could chance Yeji, but you know that her nightmare roommate hates it when the other girls have people over and you didn’t want to make Yeji deal with that. There wasn’t anything wrong with staying with Keeho either, other than his creepy roommate which now that you thought about it was a very valid reason not to ask him. 

“Yeah, I’m sure. I, uh, I don’t have a ride home today,” you finally told him.

“Oh yeah? Who are you staying with tonight?”

“I’m figuring that out right now, the person I had in mind,” you hesitated, “the person I had in mind had other people over today.”

“I get it. You could stay over here if you can’t find anywhere else, like I said, my roommate left for the week,” Jaemin says.

“Are you sure? You won’t get in trouble?”

“Yeah, my RA really doesn’t care,” he says.

“Really? Can’t he get in trouble for that?” Jaemin leans over and opens the mini fridge next to him, the small thing filled to the brim with alcohol.

“Probably, but he’s the one who gave us these so,” Jaemin shrugs.

“Are those Trulys?” You spotted the seltzers just as he closed it.

“What’s your favorite flavor?”

“Strawberry.” He reaches into the fridge again and pulls out two cans and hands one to you. “Thanks.”

“Yeah,” you both open your cans at the same time and you swallow a good majority of it down. “Ah, this is nice after ending midterms,” you felt yourself relaxing already. Jaemin nodded silently. “Wait, we are done, right?”

“Yup, our finals are in a week though, so there’s no rest for the wicked,” he says.

“Aw, hell,” you cried. You chugged the rest of the drink down and placed it next to you. “Can I have another one of those?” Jaemin hands you his, which still had a considerable amount, before grabbing another one from the fridge. “And… if you’re okay with it, could I ask a few questions?”

“Shoot.” You chugged more of the can in your hands before starting.

“I have this friend,” you started. You still weren’t sure if you should even ask him, you would be telling a secret that you’d kept from everyone since the year started, and for some reason you didn’t want to end the fantasy, but at the same time you knew that you shouldn’t keep it to yourself too. “She’s seeing someone right now, someone she really likes and that she thought liked her back, but then she said something really hurtful, after doing so many things that couples usually do, the girl she liked told her parents that they were just friends and nothing more. So, now she’s really upset about that. But she knows she shouldn’t be, she understands her, but she’s still really really upset,” you could feel your eyes tearing up again. This whole time, Jaemin listened very carefully. “So now my friend feels cheated, in a way. She knows she shouldn’t because from the get go she agreed to not expect anything more out of the relationship, but then it became something more and the girl she likes outright denied it in front of her, and then she expected for everything to be okay after when it obviously can’t. Is my friend wrong for feeling that way?” You felt bad for word vomiting him, but you just couldn’t stop talking. Your thoughts were a mile a minute and your mouth was struggling to catch up.

“No, I don’t think your friend is in the wrong,” he says. “I’d be upset too. If I was hanging out with someone a lot doing things that couples usually do, and then she told me that we were just friends, I think I’d be pretty mad, actually,” he says. “It never feels good to be led on.”

“Thank you, I thought I was going crazy.”

“I thought we were talking about your friend,” he said this in a light tone. You knew he wouldn’t have bought the friend excuse from the start.

“Yeah, well, I’m starting to feel tipsy so it’s not like I can keep up a lie anyway,” you finished your drink and put it to the side.

“You’re feeling tipsy on Trulys?”

“I also haven’t slept in the last 24 hours, so there’s that,” you admitted.

“That’ll do it,” he chuckles.

“Can I have another one?”

“Is that a good idea?”

“Probably not.”

“Okay then,” he hands you another can and you opened it quickly.

“So… who is she?”

“You wouldn’t know her,” you shook your head. “I barely know her.” You thought back to your conversation with her parents earlier, they were saying so many things about her that you didn’t expect to hear or expect her to be like at all, and suddenly you felt like you didn’t know her at all.

“I mean, yeah, but it still sucks to be in your position,” he says before drinking.

“Yeah, it really does…” you muttered.

“Drink slower, (Y/N).”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” you kept your pace.

“Do you like her a lot?”

“Yeah. But I don’t think she likes me that way,” you shook your head. “I thought she did, but today kinda proved to me that she didn’t. How could she say such hurtful things and look like it didn’t bother her at all?” You looked at your phone and silenced her incoming call.

“Looks like she wants to talk about it.”

“I don’t,” you flipped your phone over. “God, Jaem, if I told you the things we were up to you wouldn’t believe it.”

“Knowing you, I probably would,” he tips his can to you and you tapped yours against it in a lonely toast, and you both drank more. “Try me.”

“We fucked, like, a lot.”

“I believe it.”

“Why?”

“(Y/N), you seriously don’t think we wonder why you run off right after class? Yeji joked that you were seeing someone but Keeho and I didn’t buy it. I figured you just needed some time off after spending too much time with us, but the more Yeji joked about it the more I realized it could be true,” he says.

“And true it was.”

“So all of that led you to think she liked you too?”

“Well, we started out as cuddle buddies.”

“That’ll do it,” he repeats and drinks more.

“Then we became friends with benefits, I kinda sorta confessed to her and I thought she accepted it.”

“You can’t kinda sorta confess to someone, (Y/N), you have to be clear about your intentions,” he says.

“I was clear!”

“Were you?” You thought back.

“Maybe I wasn’t super clear… I just started saying things that we did together and then we fucked so I just assumed…”

“Christ…” he shakes his head.

“I wouldn’t know how to confess anyway, I thought I was being obvious,” your face was starting to heat up from both the embarrassment and the alcohol.

“How did you confess anyway?”

“She said that she thought no one could ever love her. So, I wanted to prove her wrong, and I just started saying things we did together and how it was impossible for anyone not to fall in love with that because I fell in love with that, and, like…”

“You fucked?”

“We fucked!” You shouted and Jaemin laughed. “It was my first time too, and I told her that. I told her I trusted her because I thought she liked me back and… oh god, Jaemin you have to promise not to tell anyone about this. What I confess to you here stays in here.”

“Yeah, my lips are sealed,” he says.

“Clear, clear, it’s hard to be clear about that stuff,” you say. “How am I supposed to say it? ‘I love you’?”

“Just like that, yeah.”

“I couldn’t do it like that.”

“Sure you could, you just did.”

“Yeah, well, she’s not here, is she? Do you know how hard it is to confess face to face someone you want to date?”

“No,” he shakes his head. “I could try though,” he shrugs.

“Unfortunate woman,” you laughed. He chugs the rest of his drink down, put it aside, and walked toward you, resting his hands on either side of you now. Your breath caught in your throat.

“Huh, you’re right, it is pretty hard,” he was very close to you now. His face was reddening more now, his eyes half lidded in a mix of tiredness and drunkness, and you wondered how you looked to him right now.

“Unfortunate man.”

“I know,” he pushes off of the desk, but you hold onto his wrist.

“Jaem…” you hesitated. It was so selfish of you to ask him this. “Do you want to hook up?” He raises an eyebrow now.

“I think we’re both too drunk to make a good decision.”

“Shouldn’t that cancel things out?”

“I told you I don’t like being led on.”

“What if I’m not leading you on though?”

“Aren’t you?” You were silent at this.

“No.”

“You just told me five minutes ago about a woman you really like.”

“And she doesn’t like me back.”

“So you go to me instead.”

“… Yeah.”

“Sure, let’s do it.”

“You sure?”

“Either I’m being led on and you just want to confirm something, or I have a real chance here,” he says. “Which is it?”

“Would it be weird if I said both?”

“Yeah, actually.”

“Well…” you thought for a moment, and a horrible thought struck you. If you had a boyfriend, then you’d never have to come out to your parents, you’d never have to experience that heart break and you’d never have to put them through that heart break. “I’d say you have a real chance.” 

“(Y/N), I really like you,” he confesses. “I’m serious, I do, I want to be something with you,” he continues. “So, please, don’t lead me on.”

“I won’t,” you said this, but there was still that lingering doubt at the back of your head. “I won’t lead you on.” And without another word he pressed forward, lips locking with yours, and you reciprocated. You could taste the hints of watermelon on him and even more so when you deepened it. Your hands squeezed his wrists now, and his hands interlocked with yours. You know you shouldn’t compare, but this feeling was just different from whenever you and Somi made out. You’d never pictured a future with him, but the more you thought about it the clearer it became, but that future was so different than the one you wanted with Somi. This one… this one was more realistic, you think.

But it felt like you were going through the motions. Taking your clothes off, taking his off, and somehow making it to his bed, even rolling the condom on was something you were surprisingly good with considering you’d only had sex with Somi before this. Sex with Jaemin wasn’t what you’d expected at all, and part of you felt bad that you were just using him to prove a point to yourself. And maybe it was a bad idea to do this when you were both drunk, then again you always preached that drunk actions were sober thoughts. Speaking of, you wondered if he could read them now. It felt like he was staring into your very mind while your mouth sank down on his cock. It was such a different feel than with Somi, despite the obvious, and now you wondered which you really preferred. Did you like the sweet and tender touches that Somi dragged out or did you prefer the way Jaemin went down on you with firm and sharp grasps? Did you prefer the soft kisses from her or the rough ones from him? Maybe you liked the stimulation from how your pussy slid over hers versus how Jaemin pounded into yours.

Or maybe you just didn’t give a fuck.

Jaemin pressed his lips against yours again, holding your jaw in such a way that your lips parted enough for him to deepen the kiss and you let him do so, you even encouraged it as you pressed against him and let a subdued moan out while he worked his cock into you, stretching your walls in a way you’d never experienced before. Your head tilted back, feeling an intense pleasure that was so different from the one you’d known from before. You felt his bed rocking beneath you, and you really hoped that no one could hear it.

“Oh fuck, oh god,” your moans were breathy and you could hear his silenced whimpers and loud groans.

“Fuck, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this,” he said quietly. You swallowed harshly. What did he mean by that? You didn’t want to know, and instead you pulled him down onto your lips again, something he reciprocated quickly while quickening his pace. You felt yourself building to your orgasm, and your fingers naturally settled over your clit while you chased after it.

“Keep going like that,” you said into his ear. “Ah, oh hell, I’m almost there,” you grinded against his waist and he kept his pace, pounding into you as if to prove a point and, though it scared you to admit it, you didn’t hate it.

Truly bisexual, you didn’t know if you should be proud or afraid of that fact. Your fingernails dug into Jaemin’s back, no doubt leaving some kind of mark behind when you released him shortly during your moments of bliss. Then, right as you reached your orgasm, you felt him start to speed up, no doubt looking for his own release and, finally, he stilled in your pussy, the condom filling up with cum before he pulled out of you. He leans over you now, both hands on either side of your head and face inches away from yours.

Now this isn’t fair, how could he still look handsome after all that? You’re half sure you look like an exhausted rat under him. And when he pushed the hair out of his face you swear you felt your heart jump out but then realization hit.

You felt a pang of guilt, having asked to hook up with Jaemin. You knew that Somi didn’t take your relationship seriously, she was still seeing people on the side other than you, hell, the two of you weren’t even properly dating, so what was so wrong about this? What’s so wrong about getting dicked down by one of your friends in his dorm after having a fight with her?

Many things, actually. You didn’t really think of any repercussions, you were just angry, and very drunk. You felt played, almost, like Somi had taken your heart out and tossed it around before giving it back. And your intentions weren’t exactly clear either. Sure, you’d had some attraction toward him, jokingly calling him the ‘Cute Boy in all our classes’ to Yeji and her teasing you relentlessly when he joined the study group, but your vision was clouded with the rose colored sunglasses that Somi had put on you. And now that you took those off, you didn’t know anymore.

Again, he kissed you, and again you kissed back. You didn’t know what your intentions were, but you did know one thing.

In your life, it was easier to love him than it was to love her.

~

It was a long time before you saw her again, Somi. After that night with Jaemin, after waking up in his arms and feeling like something was right with him, you started to be together more. There wasn’t exactly a title on this relationship though, both of you had agreed to get to know each other better romantically first before pursuing it altogether, but this time there was a clear end goal, you both liked each other and you both hoped for something more and, this time, that sentiment existed outside of the confined space of his dorm. You even told your parents about him, they’ve even met him and they thought he was a nice young man, and right after that you screwed in his car.

Everything you had hoped to do with Somi, you did with him, and somehow they felt so much better. You thought you were fully moving on from her, that you had something good going on with Jaemin.

But tonight, with his arms wrapped around you while you watched some A24 film on his laptop, you got a text from her, something she hadn’t done in two months now.

‘Come over, please.’ You stared at the text, and so did Jaemin. You turned your phone over and his head falls on your shoulder.

“You should go over there,” he says. You twist to look at him, surprised at his comment. After that first night with him neither of you brought her up.

“Why?”

“I think you deserve that closure, and so does she,” he says.

“I don’t know, if I should, Jaem, what if I…” you didn’t finish your sentence. It would break his heart.

“What if you fall for her again?” He took the words right out of your mouth.

“I don’t think that will happen,” you shook your head.

“I’m pretty sure she fell for you, I think she fell hard. But I don’t think she realized it until after you left,” he says. “A lot of people don’t think about that. They don’t realize what they lost until it’s gone, you know?”

“Right, yeah,” you nodded. You didn’t really mourn what you’d lost with her, now that you thought about it. And the way it ended so abruptly, maybe that’s why.

Plus, you were afraid of the way your heart ached when you saw that text. A part of you must have still loved her, and Jaemin must have seen that.

“Are you sure?” You asked him.

“Why are you asking for my permission? She’s your first love.”

“I know but…” you shook your head.

“Go ahead, and call me if you need me to come get you,” he lets you go and you slid off his bed. “Go, (Y/N), go talk to her.”

“Do you think I’m ready?”

“Are we ever?” He closes his laptop.

“You’re not going to ask to walk with me?”

“I figured you’d want to do this alone.” It was cruel that he knew you so well and you barely knew him at all. He had always paid attention to you, and you were too busy looking at her to realize that.

“Thanks, Jaemin.”

“Yeah, of course, go ahead,” he watches you go.

You remembered the way so clearly, how to get to her apartment and which routes were the fastest. But standing at her door, you didn’t know what to expect. You always had this vague idea but now you weren’t so sure. It’d been a good amount of time, a lot can happen in two months, and here you were. You knocked on her door, and she opened it.

“Hi, you’re just in time,” she pulls you in and seats you on the couch. “I gotcha something,” she disappears into her room and comes back out with a present.

“Oh, uh… thanks, Somi,” you took it in her hands. “What’s the occasion?”

“Six months, right?” She tucks her hair behind her ears and you paused. So she was keeping count.

“Of what?” You asked her.

“Our relationship, right?” She says with a tightlipped smile. You pushed the present back into her hands.

“Don’t do this, Somi.”

“Don’t do what?”

“You know what,” you said.

“What? We took a break.”

“From what?” You asked her. You just wanted her to do one thing. You wanted her to tell you that you had something together, you wanted her to acknowledge that you loved her and she lead you on. How hard was it for her to say that you were in a relationship? No, no, you take it back. You don’t want her to just do that, you want her to apologize for what she said two months ago. That shit was horrible, all of it. But why did you feel yourself caving into her again? Why did you feel your heart beating toward her again? You were nothing more than a friend to her, she made that very clear, but here you were with that small hope of salvaging what was lost.

Really, would it kill her to just say those two words? I’m sorry. That’s all you ever wanted to hear from her, at least once. All those texts you got from her all asking you to come over and all of them you ignored, but you never had the heart to block her. You wanted to hear her acknowledge that what she did was wrong, you wanted her to know that what she did was so horrible to you, and you wanted her to know that what she did was fucked up. But, at the same time, you would be beside yourself to see her so upset, you hated to see the way she got too in her head about it and you couldn’t do anything to help her besides sitting next to her and lending a comforting ear.

But this?

You needed an apology for this.

No, you needed so much more than just an apology for this.

You sat in front of her dumbfounded. No words were exchanged between you and her, just intense silence. What she had just told you… it broke you. How could she even think that what she said back then was remotely alright?

“I don’t know why you’re so angry.”

“Are you serious? You don’t know why I’m mad?” You asked her. Somi nodded her head.

“I don’t…” her voice was so quiet.

“Somi I’m going to ask you this one more time… what are we?” You kept your gaze steady. “What am I to you, Somi?” She broke her already weakened eye contact with you and stared at her hands, before finally burying her face in them. “Somi, I need to hear it from you. What are we?” You repeated your question and her hands reached out to hold your face ever so softly, the same way she always did when she wanted you to listen to her.

“I love you, (Y/N), I love you,” she said instead, but you shook your head.

“No, I don’t think you do,” you reached up to pull her hands away from you, but she instead wraps her arms around you.

“I do, I do, I love you,” she held onto you like if she’d let go you’d leave forever. And after everything, maybe you would.

“Somi, let go,” you couldn’t hold her back. You couldn’t find it in you to.

“I can’t, I won’t,” she says.

“Let your best friend go,” you said with a more stern voice, and that stopped her movements. She released you slowly, keeping at least some contact with you. “I don’t get you, Somi. You said that there was nothing between us but here you are! The first time you tell me you loved me was right now after you ended things. God, I feel like I was never really important to you until after I left. I don’t think you ever took what we had seriously, and when you told me you did I don’t think you meant it. I love you, Somi. But I don’t think our definitions of love are the same,” you shook your head.

“I do love you,” she repeats.

“And you couldn’t have told me that two months ago?”

“No, I didn’t know then!”

“But you knew I loved you. You knew I did and still you said those things.”

“I take them back, all of them!”

“You can’t just do that, Somi!” You raised your voice. “You can’t just pretend that everything’s okay, it’s not! Answer my question, what were we?” You pressed her more and she shook her head.

“I don’t know what we were.”

“You don’t know?”

“I don’t! When I met you I just wanted something casual, but when I got to know you I wanted something more and I was afraid of that! I was afraid of loving you,” she says. “You know how my family is, what my culture is, it wouldn’t have been easy.”

“So you took the easy way out.”

“I… yeah. I did.”

“I can’t even blame you, I did the same thing,” you said quietly. “But… we could’ve worked something out. I really thought we could’ve. I was so ready to come out to my parents for you, but you weren’t. Somi, our whatever never left these walls. Whenever I saw you on campus you pretended that you didn’t see me, whenever I asked to go out with you you’d say you were busy, our whatever wasn’t good for either of us,” you shook your head. “I don’t blame you for taking the easy way, Somi, I just blame you for fucking with my feelings.”

“(Y/N)…” she reaches for you again, but you move away from her. You couldn’t look at her, either, because Jaemin was right, you were so sure that you’d fall for her again. She slides the present to you again and you clenched your jaw. “(Y/N), I’m sorry.” Fucking finally. Tears started to fall down your face, they landed on the wrapping paper beneath you and smudged the ink on the tag.

“You couldn’t have said that before?”

“I didn’t know how to.”

“And you expect us to be okay?”

“I do.”

“Then lower your expectations,” you said to her.

“No, (Y/N), let’s work this out.”

“Have you come out to your parents?”

“Have you?”

“I take that as a no,” you wiped the tears off your face quickly.

“It’s not that easy, (Y/N)! At least you’re still attracted to men! You coming out wouldn’t be as bad as me!” She shouts and you swallowed your gasp.

“Excuse me?!” You stood up, the present dropping onto the couch.

“No, no, I… I didn’t mean it like that!” She stands up too, grabbing your hands and holding them between you and her. You shook your head and took a deep breath.

“What did you want from me today?” You asked quietly.

“I… I wanted to be with you,” she said in a similar tone. “I wanted to tell you that I wanted to be with you, I want to take it a step further.”

“No, I can’t do that with you,” you shook your head.

“Why not?”

“God, Somi, have you not been listening to our conversation?” You exasperated. “Somi… we can’t be together, not right now, not ever,” you told her. “Somi what we had… it’s not healthy. We only saw each other in here, we only saw each other when we needed to see each other, and we never saw each other just because we wanted to. Somi that’s not a relationship, that’s toxic!”

“We can make it healthy!”

“No, we can’t! Listen to yourself! You’re just invalidating everything I’m telling you,” you pulled your hands from her grasp.

“(Y/N), please, I want to make this right!” She says.

“You already did, you apologized for it already, there’s nothing more that we need to do.”

“(Y/N), please,” she insists. “I’m moving back home, I’m going back to South Korea.”

“And? You want me to be in a relationship with you for however much time before you leave? That’s so fucked up,” you shook your head. “I shouldn’t have come today.”

“No, no, I’m so happy you came, (Y/N)!” She says. “Please don’t go.”

“I should leave, Somi, I really should,” you told her.

“I know, I know, I fucked up! I just wanted to spend one more night with you, (Y/N),” she says.

“No, that’s not a good idea, Somi.”

“Please—”

“Don’t you see that this is hard for me too? Somi I loved you so much that I sacrificed nearly as much just to see you! I lied to so many people because I wanted to be with you, but then you told me that that was nothing? And now you want something, I… I can’t,” you wiped your tears again. Somi takes a step back.

“You moved on quickly.”

“You said it yourself, there was nothing to move on from.”

“But there was.”

“And you didn’t know it until I left.”

“Yeah, I didn’t,” she says. She picks up the gift again and hands it to you. “At least take this.”

“Why?”

“Call it a goodbye gift.”

“Fine then.”

“(Y/N), you are my first love.”

“And so are you.” She was the first one you were actually serious about, the first one you wanted to work out, and the first one you thought you really loved.

“I want this to work out, but…” she takes a deep breath, “but you’re right. It’s bad for both of us.”

“Yeah,” you played with the ribbon on the gift. “When do you fly out?”

“Next week.”

“Have a safe flight,” you told her.

“Thank you,” she says. You stood up again, and this time she just followed you.

“I’ll head out now,” you looked at her with your hand on the doorknob.

“Wait…” she says. “You didn’t get me anything…” you sighed.

“What do you want, then?”

“Can… can I kiss you one more time?” She asks. You hesitated.

“Okay,” you turned to her fully and she wrapped her hands around your face before pressing her lips softly to yours. You had almost forgotten what they felt like, how soft they were and how they moved against yours, and if you didn’t come tonight maybe you would have entirely. You let her take her time, this was more for her than it was for you. And when she finally pulled away from you that’s when you felt your sadness catch up with you.

You did want something more with her. But you knew it wouldn’t work out. There would be thousands of miles between you both in a week and there was no feasible way for you both to be together, not with all that baggage from before.

“Goodbye, Somi,” you opened the door.

“Goodbye, (Y/N).”

And that’s how you said goodbye to your first love, the real one. Not some silly crush, not someone you knew you didn’t have a chance with, but someone who really impacted you, someone who changed you for the better. You finally mourned what you lost with her. And when you returned to Jaemin’s dorm, you moved back into his arms, and you held him close to you and he to him.

“She got you a gift?”

“She’s moving to Korea.”

“A goodbye gift, then.”

“Yeah,” you reached for it now, holding the gift in your hand. The tag just said her name and yours and nothing more. “Should I open it?”

“Gifts were meant to be open.” You pulled on the ribbon and tore the wrapping paper carefully, and inside was a small wooden box with Korean lettering across the top.

“What does it say?” You held it so that he could read it.

“Hamoni Moggong,” he recites. “I’m pretty sure it’s the company name, Harmony Carpentry,” he says.

“Huh,” you slid the top off and you pulled out the music box concealed within. When you opened it, a familiar tune played with a flower slowly spinning in the middle atop a small mirror. Inside of it was a slip of paper. You held it up, the whole thing was written in hangul, and you handed it to Jaemin. He read through it carefully before turning it around in his hands.

“Love from afar, these music boxes come in pairs, one for me and one for you,” he translates. And again you found yourself crying, and Jaemin couldn’t do anything more but to hold you close to him.

~

Then the years went by. And before you knew it, you had graduated with the same four people you’d started with. You and Jaemin were still together, now entering your third year of officially dating, while Yeji and Keeho constantly teased you both about it. But every now and then you caught yourself thinking of Somi, the first person to have made you feel loved and the first person you thought you’d be with forever, and it made you sadder.

A week after you saw her, you’d noticed she’d removed you on Tinder. You couldn’t see her instagram anymore, and you were blocked on her snapchat. And you didn’t know why, there was no way you could’ve reached out to her either, it was like she’d cut all contact, and that hurt you. She was the one who wanted to make things right but then she did that? And, to make matters worse, the summer of your senior year you got into yet another huge argument with your parents, one that near left you disowned, and when you’d run away from home, you knew that as soon as you’d come back, you were finished. You knew your parents too well, you knew what their discipline was like and, so, when you’d finally returned home, you deleted all traces of Somi from your photos, all your texts and all your memories, they were gone. And true to your predictions, your parents took all your devices away and reduced you to the child they saw you as.

And when you got your things back, when you’d all apologized to each other, you cried. Everything you had of Somi, of the girl you owed so much to, was gone, because you’d rather be completely disowned for deleting things from your phone than disowned for loving another woman. Even that beautiful music box she gave you, to your parents and everyone else, it was a gift from Jaemin. But to you and Jaemin it was proof of what you had before.

You never did come out to your parents. Being with Jaemin, loving him and him loving you, provided enough cover and a large enough shield for you to avoid it. And so your story with Somi ended that way. With a small music box collecting dust in your closet.

“Oh we gotta go on Space Mountain,” Keeho points at the map and Yeji checks her phone.

“The wait is three hours!” She shouts.

“Okay and? Genie pass,” he says.

“Oh, right… it’s redeemable for nine at night,” she says.

“What?!” Keeho looks at his phone too. The four of you had agreed to have a graduation trip to Disneyland of all the places, after Yeji had told you all that she’d never gone, it was a must.

“Ooh, we should do Small World too, we gotta hit the main attractions for Yeji,” you said.

“Got it, got it,” Keeho writes it down on his phone.

“You are surprisingly very good at planning things,” Jaemin teases.

“Hey! I’m an older brother, I have to be good at these things,” he says.

“(Y/N)?!” You swear you could hear your voice being called somewhere, and you stopped in your tracks, your friends looking confusingly behind you.

“Did you say my name, Jaem?” He was the only person behind you.

“No,” he shakes his head. “What’s up?” Jaemin asks.

“Did any of you guys call me?” You looked around.

“No, we’re just trying to get to the ferris wheel,” Keeho points at the large attraction.

“Well, no shit, but… hmm…” you looked back one last time and you felt your heart stop. The passerbys around you seemed to slow into blurs as you made eye contact with her and, again, you saw your name form on her lips, then you realized you were walking towards her with the voices of your friends drowning into the muted chatter of the crowd, then you realized she was walking towards you too, and now you’re both running.

“Somi?!” You called her name out just in case and you saw her nod, you saw her press her lips in a tight line and you saw her smile despite the sadness in her eyes and, just as you noticed the ringing in your ears, you both melted into each other’s embrace, and you felt that beautiful and wonderful feeling of being loved yet again. But at this moment, though you still held her tight, you realized something. If there was one thing you’d learned from university despite the obvious, it was that, for the better, nothing lasts forever.

And that’s okay.

~

Epilogue

“Hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sleep in,” you rushed into the kitchen with your things practically spilling from your arms and your glasses refusing to stay on your face, you looked like a complete mess, you knew that, but when you looked up to greet her she instead cupped your face and pulled you into a gentle kiss. Your shoulders relaxed, backpack and all else clattering on the floor forgotten and hands instead brushing the hair from her face. The kiss was sweet and full of a yearning you couldn’t quite describe, it was as if it were something you had missed for a whole lifetime or something that you had only expected to experience in dreams. She’s perfect in every meaning of the word and at the same time she is imperfect in everything else.

But you love her. You love her so much.

When you separate you are filled with this strange desire that left you chasing after her. It was like your hearts were magnets, opposite charges that pull each other together, and that it did. Your arms were locked around her torso, your bodies fitted so perfectly against each other that it would have been criminal to separate you two. And, just like that, you felt like you were where you belonged.

“(Y/N),” her voice was so soft. It grew and blossomed in your chest and you could feel your smile widen. “(Y/N),” she repeats your name again and you looked up at her. There, her eyes, you could look at them forever and you could see your entire life with her.

A life where you would be with the one you loved and the one who loved you back. You could see the sleepy mornings that followed the passionate nights, you could see the way she would hold you so tenderly, the way she would frame your face in her hands and the way you’d do the same. You could feel her love radiating from her smile alone.

“Ennik…" her name was like a sacred thing to you. Her name was meant to represent strength, you learned that recently, yet to you it was the most gentlest word in your dictionary. A name so strong belonged to a woman so tender that it held a knew meaning. Then, as a sweet smile rose on her face, her nose brushed yours so slightly before she rose enough to kiss the tip. “I love you,” your words were lighter than the sun that surrounded you.

Somi beamed slightly, the closed-lip smile perfectly setting on her features.

Then, as if shaken into reality, a booming voice behind you.

“Somi!” The voice was so cold. You both turned and, like that, the fantasy had ended.

Somi pushed away from you and took a step back. The look in her eyes was one of solitary melancholy. She gave you one last hug and you held her tightly, as if you knew this was as much closure as you’d ever receive.

“I love you,” her voice broke you.

“I forgive you.” And yours broke her.

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[yeowangies]

Feeling lucky

❧

PAIRING: Goku/Reader RATING: Explicit CONTENTS: Modern Setting AU, No Powers AU, Explicit Sexual Content, Attempt at humor, Some fluff. WORDCOUNT: 2725

Summary:

“I heard your conversation over the phone, and I was wondering if I could maybe join you? I’m new to this city and I was going to eat alone anyway.”

Notes:

I started writing this today, and I want to do it in like... and hour or so, I did this to relax my mind and try something easier to read and write. And I wasn't planning on writing over 2k, but as I kept going I realize that wasn't gonna happen... And I obviously took more than an hour to write...

This is based on a prompt that I don't remember where I read it, but it's person A being stood up on a blind date, and person B overhears and asks if they can join them for dinner.

Originally a drabble but got out of hand? Anyway enjoy lmao

“This is the last time I’m letting you set me up with someone!” You yell angrily at your phone. “No, he’s not ‘a little late’, he stood me up!”

Your friend keeps making excuses over the phone. Maybe he’s lost, maybe he got confused. But you’ve been waiting for like 30 minutes, and that’s a lot more than you’d wait for anyone. 

“Look, I’m angry at you right now, but I’m angrier at the jerk who didn’t show up. And I’m hungry. I’m hanging up now.”

With that, you hang up. It’s not like this is going to ruin your friendship or anything. But you are hungry. Taking a look at the menu again to check if you weren’t up for anything more substantial, you look for the waiter to finally order something other than water, but a stranger is standing really close to you, startling you.

“Sorry! Didn’t mean to scare you!” He says, holding his hands up. “I heard your conversation over the phone, and I was wondering if I could maybe join you? I’m new to this city and I was going to eat alone anyway.”

You look at him, bewildered. This guy is actually really cute; tall and with disheveled hair and a surprisingly lovely expression on his face, in contrast with how broad his shoulders and chest are. You were supposed to have a blind date, so this is close to being the same situation, right? And this is a public place, so you shouldn’t worry too much in case he’s a psychopath or something. 

“You heard my conversation on the phone?” You ask him, playfully. 

“Well, you were kinda yelling.” He chuckles.  

His smile is adorable. You look him over for a second before nodding and gesturing to the seat in front of you. 

“Thanks. I’m Goku, by the way.” He says, sitting by the table.

You introduce yourself just before the waiter shows up, asking if you were ready to order. It surprises you that Goku actually orders a lot of food. 

“You’re not gonna make me pay, right?”

“No!” He laughs. “Don’t worry, I have money.”

“Okay…” You look at him, a little amused but warily. 

“So you were stood up?”

“Ugh, yeah… My first date in like a year and… he probably saw me and left, or something…”

“Aw, I don’t think anyone would do that.”

You look at him with a raised eyebrow. Goku is still smiling sweetly at you, is he just being friendly? 

“What about you, are you really new to the city?”

“Yeah, I just moved in yesterday. And I don’t really know anybody.”

“ If it’s ok to ask, why did you move?.”

“I… recently got divorced.” 

Oh. 

“Me and my ex just get along fine now, but our son has to go to high school so… I moved in here with him.”

“You have a son?!” You ask, unashamed, with eyes open wide. He does not look like he has a son that goes to high school. 

“Yeah… I have two, actually.”

You would have spit water had you been drinking, but you’re glad you weren’t. 

“Is it that surprising?” Goku asks, scratching the back of his neck, obviously a little nervous. “I got married at 18 and we had our first kid right away…”

“You don’t need to explain anything, I’m sorry. You just don’t look that old…”

“Thanks.” He smiles at you, making you blush a little.

“So, um… how old are your kids?”

“Gohan is 23, and Goten is 13.”

You sigh, a little relieved. Goku is insanely attractive, and you’re glad you’re not the same age as his oldest son. 

You want to start considering this a date, but you wonder if Goku would feel the same. He’s divorced, maybe he’s not ready to date, and he just wants a friend; he did say he didn’t know anyone in the city. Maybe the best thing to do is see how things flow during dinner. 

When the food arrives, you’re stunned at how much he can eat. You haven’t seen anyone eat like that ever, and you can’t help but smile as he basically swallows down plate after plate. 

“Are you a world champion eater?” You tease him after you both finish your meals.

“No!” Goku chortles. “I did win the Martial Arts Tournament a couple of times, though.”

“Really?!” You look him over for the umpteenth time. That would explain the size of his body.

“Yeah! Haven’t participated in one in a while.” 

You drink down your glass of water in one gulp. It’s insane this specimen of a man is single currently, and sitting at your table. You have no idea what having children is like, so you can’t judge, but what is there even to argue about with a husband like that?!

Except maybe… You look at him as discreetly as you can, your eyes going as further down as they are allowed to until the edge of the table gets in your line of vision. There’s nothing you can tell from your angle, but he couldn’t be small, could he…? Not with those muscles he has going on, but…

“Um…” Goku interrupts your train of thought, looking a little nervous. “Would it be okay if I ask for your number?”

You blink. 

“You’re really nice, and I don’t even know this city well, so… maybe you can show me around?”

“I… Sure, I don’t mind.”

“Great!” He smiles widely, handing you his phone for you to type in your number.

Once you’re heading out, Goku holds the door open for you to step out as you put your jacket on. It’s already pretty late, and you’re considering calling a cab to your place, even if it’s not too far. 

“Do you live nearby?” He asks you. “Maybe I can walk you.”

“My place is just some blocks away, but it’s fine-”

“I’ll walk you.” He offers you a gentle smile. And you can’t say no to that. 

On your way there, you’re glad Goku actually seems to like to talk a lot. He makes you laugh easily, and even makes you blush from time to time. He’s incredibly charming, and you start to feel a little self conscious about the fact that he’s walking you home. You want him to come into your apartment, but the line is still blurry about this dinner being a date or just a friendly meetup. 

“This is where I live.” You point out once you’re in front of your building. “I had fun!”

“Me too!” Goku blushes slightly, and it catches you a bit off guard. 

Neither of you say anything for a second, as you wonder yet again if you should ask him to come up. 

“Is it okay…” He speaks first, and you fix your eyes on him. “Is it okay to kiss you?”

“Yeah… Yes, I’d like that.” You stumble with the words as you feel your face inevitably heat up.

Goku smiles softly as he puts his hands on your shoulder and leans in. You meet him halfway, getting on your tiptoes, as your lips touch. It’s a gentle kiss, just lips pressing against lips, but it still sends shivers up your spine, especially when one of his hands slides up towards your neck, and his thumb caresses your cheek. 

When you pull away, you’re breathless and your mind is clear. 

“Do you… wanna come up?”

He nods eagerly, and you grin, tugging at his hand as you walk into the building. When you close the door of your apartment, you kiss him again, bringing him down to your lips by the shirt, as he makes a noise of surprise. It’s a more hurried kiss than the previous one, but just as soft; you don’t want to rush into things, but something just feels right. 

“Is this okay?” You ask him, pulling back a little to look at him.

The gleam in his eyes is enough for an answer. Goku puts his hands on your hips and leans down to kiss you again, hungry and needy. You return it with the same intensity, tugging at his jacket as you walk backwards towards your bedroom. 

Clothes fly across your apartment, and you’re both in your underwear by the time you fall onto the bed, lips barely ever parting. You run your hands up and down his back, and God, it’s insane how hot he is, his muscles flexing underneath your fingers. Breaking the kiss, you push at his shoulders to make him lie on his back against the mattress, and he eagerly complies. 

You take him in as you straddle his hips, and you can’t believe how defined his muscles are as you run your hands down his chest. Hell, you can probably wash your clothes on his abs if you wanted to! Goku grins cheekily the more you stare, softly trailing his hands up your thighs and squeezing your hips. Blushing slightly, you lean down to kiss him briefly on the lips before trailing down his neck and his chest, slowly dipping lower. 

Hooking your fingers on his underwear, you pull it down, and you’re finally face to face with his erection. Relief washes over you when you realize he’s not small at all. Hunger settles in afterwards, mouth watering as you wrap your hand around his cock, stroking it gently. He groans low, sitting up on his elbows, and you smirk at him before darting your tongue out to taste him. 

Goku stares at you through hooded lids, enamored, as you lick up and down his length, before wrapping your lips around the head. You take your time, trying to get more of him into your mouth, flattening your tongue on the underside. He whispers your name, running his hands through your hair, holding it up and away from your face for a better view of your actions, and you mentally thank him. Once you reach the base, you try hard not to gag as you hold in place for a second before pulling away. His hips stutter when you take him in again, dragging your lips all the way down in one swift move. 

“Fuck…” Goku pants, tugging at your hair lightly. His hips buck in again, and you know it’s time to pull away. 

He pulls you in for a sloppy kiss as soon as you crawl over his body, rolling you over so he’s on top once again. You gasp when you feel his hand sneak in your panties, purposely caressing your clit. Your legs twitch and you cling to him tighter the faster his fingers move. Trailing his lips lower, he pushes your bra up and away from your chest to take a nipple into his mouth. 

You moan when Goku slides two fingers inside you, arching your back as he keeps softly swirling his tongue over your nipple. You move your hips in time with his fingers, trying to get more of them, but he’s keeping a leisurely pace at the same time he keeps stroking your clit with his thumb. There’s heat rapidly pooling in your lower abdomen, so you promptly tug at his hair when he switches sides to kiss your other breast.

“Hurry…” You whimper, not too embarrassed to sound desperate. 

Goku grins down at you as he pulls his fingers away, sitting in between your legs to pull down your panties. 

“You’re gorgeous…” He says, staring at you while you discard your bra on the floor. 

“And you’re insanely hot.” You reply, making him laugh and lean down to capture your lips in a sweet kiss. 

You smile against his lips while reaching for the nightstand to look for a condom. He takes it from you as soon as you grab it, briskly putting it on before holding your hips closer. He locks his eyes onto yours, and you feel your entire face heat up under his gaze as he slowly guides his dick towards your entrance. 

When Goku slides in carefully, you gasp, bracing yourself with your hands gripping his arms like an anchor. He feels even bigger now that he’s inside, and his previous work with his fingers has left you in a haze. You moan loudly when he buries himself to the hilt, closing your eyes shut at the sensation. 

“You feel amazing…” Goku says in a hoarse voice, and you glance at him to see his eyes filled with lust. 

He grips your hips before pulling back and thrusting in. You feel his cock, hot and heavy, opening you up slowly with his every move, and you couldn’t help the sounds spilling from your lips. He’s groaning loudly too, and it’s one of the sexiest noises you’ve ever heard. How can this man be so adorable but so hot and so good at the same time?

You pull him in for a searing kiss, wrapping your hands around his neck. Goku returns it just as hungrily, grunting against your lips as he speeds up, slamming his hips against yours. The moans you make keep growing louder every time his cock hits inside you just right, and you’re not actually paying attention to the kiss anymore, but you need to feel close. 

The faster and deeper his thrusts become, the more you realize you’re closer to the edge than you thought you were. Goku breaks the kiss to trail his lips down your jaw, kissing and nipping at the skin there. You wrap your legs tightly around his waist, like you’re afraid he’ll stop, making him groan low. The knot in your stomach grows tighter and tighter and it’s too much, he’s making you feel intense pleasure in such a short time, you can’t explain it. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna…” Goku barely pants against your ear.

You feel his thumb rub against your clit then, and that’s all you need to go over the edge. Your body shudders beneath him, moaning as you see stars behind your lids. You hear him curse under his breath as he keeps thrusting inside you before he growls loudly. His cock pulses inside you as he comes, pumping into you, riding his orgasm, before coming to a halt. 

Goku kisses you passionately before pulling out, and you keep your hands wrapped around his shoulders, panting against his lips. You could feel the smile on his lips as he trailed soft kisses down your neck before rolling off you. 

You feel completely out of it as the afterglow settles in. This man is definitely one of the best, if not the best sex you ever had, and you only met him by chance. When you look him over, he’s smiling at you, completely happy, as he wraps one arm around your shoulder. He even looks more attractive then, with hair sticking to his forehead, and his skin sweaty from the activity. You return the smile, snuggling closer as he discards the condom on the trashcan by your bed. 

Goku moves to sit up after a while, and you look at him with sleepy eyes when he stands up.

“You can stay if you want…” You murmur languidly. 

He turns to smile at you as he reaches for his pants, looking inside his pockets.

“Okay, I just have to text my son so he doesn’t worry.”

You make a noise to acknowledge what he said, slowly closing your eyes. You’re dozing off when you feel the bed shift and an arm wrap around your waist.

The sunlight filtering through the window wakes you up, and you groan sleepily when you hear Goku’s loud snoring beside you. It luckily did not disturbed you last night, but then again you’re lucky loud noises most of the time do not bother you. You look around for your pants that you know are somewhere on this floor, and you reach for them without getting up once you locate them. 

It’s almost 9 in the morning, but it’s Sunday, so you don’t worry. Looking at your messages, you read one from the friend who had set you up with that date last night; she’s apologizing and telling you she has other friends she can set you up with. You laugh quietly, and look over at the man sleeping beside you before replying to her message.

Don’t worry, I already got lucky last night. 

#dbz fics #dbz fanfiction #dbz imagine #goku x reader #goku x you #goku #dbz #dragon ball z #my writing

[sugurusdiscordmoderator]

my Satoru Gojo head cannon:

18+ MDNI cw: degradation, one night stands, milfs, foursome, etc.

authors note at bottom lmao

• he is such a player and just makes girl after girl fall in love with him because he’s the Satoru Gojo

• he never gets attached, he doesn’t let himself because of his position as one of the strongest, knowing he could die young. But the thing is, it’s not because he would feel bad for the girl if he died, he just wants to fuck and have fun as much as possible before he goes out

• Suguru had to take him to get tested while they were in school and is like not very proud of Satoru’s sex life (he’s always left to explain to the girls with the broken heart after Gojo ghosts them)

• he’s literally so good in bed… girls are begging to have him sleep with them again but he hardly ever hits the same girl twice. If he fucks the same girl twice she has like god tier pussy / head

• Shoko and Gojo hooked up once after a dare/bet and they have not spoken of it since. She hasn’t slept with another man since then

• He has talked Suguru into a foursome before with two really cute girls they met on one of their weekend adventures in Tokyo. Suguru was too polite and gentle that Satoru claimed he’d never ask him to do that again

• 100% likes degrading his women but always says it in the nicest way - “that’s my pretty slut” and “such a good little whore for me” and “you just couldn’t wait for my cock huh?” (with that shit eating grin he has in S2 E1 when he asks Utahime if she’s crying)

• mostly cares about his pleasure. occasionally eats pussy if he thinks yours is special but not often. it’s always 69, mutual masturbation, etc with him.

• aftercare : he’ll hand you a towel & let you shower in his nice ass bathroom but not much more than that. UNLESS you gave him a run for his money and went multiple rounds. Then he’ll order you food and watch a movie or something until you both fall asleep.

• he sleeps in really late so by the time you wake up the next morning you really don’t want to wait for him so you sneak out and drive/walk of shame home. Not before you go through his shit first to see how boujee he actually is

• Gojo who sleeps in on purpose because it makes it less awkward in the morning. He wakes up before you to go to the bathroom and drink some water because he wants to take a picture of your hickey cover neck and chest, bruised ass, and blissed our face. He keeps a secret folder on his phone of his women so he can remember by tits/ass/face because he simply can’t remember every woman’s name.

• LOVES milfs and slightly older women. I just know as soon as he turned 18 he was out looking for like a 30 year old to rock their world.

• has home wrecked a marriage at some point ^

—

listen I’m so sorry but I just can’t picture Gojo being romantic. Let alone gay for Suguru. But I love him so so much please, I would let him destroy me and drop me off at a crack house to figure out how to get home

don’t come at me

#jjk #gojo #gojo satoru #jjk men #gojo headcanons #gojo hcs #gojou satoru x reader #satoru smut #suguru is so supportive

[blistering-typhoons]

BBC SHERLOCK REWATCH - A STUDY IN PINK (REAL TIME NOTES)

From the perspective of someone who watched this show when they were thirteen, made it their whole personality and then stopped being a massive prat.

I thought about organizing this into a cohesive review, and maybe as I go on I'll delve deeper into some of my observations but for now I thought it would be funny to present my findings in raw, mostly unaltered form:

- loud ass opening, my god

- only bit of acting Martin freeman ever does lmao

- dances along to theme against my will

- god the effects and transitions are so shit

- all the shots of the pills are so ugly

- oh yay molly - whoo - yayyy

- the potential withe these two goddamn

- also this sherlock does not drink his respect women juice by god

- fucksake the deduction about john's sister- not only is it translated awfully into this modern setting, it's explicitly a deduction Sherlock is supposed to make once they know eachother a bit better

- THE POTENTIAL

- also sherlock displaying one insecurity when john accidentally insults his stuff- well done moftiss, characterization

- How far away is the crime scene, why it dark

- pls the transitions

- PIPE BOMB, WHOO Phone deductionnnn

- oh my god it's so shit

- uuuuuuuugggghhhh the potential I hate this shooooow

- fuckin deduction as a way for witty one liners and sexism, i hate this place

- 'you were thinking it's annoying' i'm going to send myself off a cliff, CRINGE

- RACHE- moffat, come here a sec- literally putting ACD on par with the police, who are always wrong the sheer audacity- also just a bad change

- these lens flare white lights are so goofy please, you will never be a whole scene of silence with jeremy brett

- benedict cumberbatch is very pretty i will grant

- terrorized by the fact i used to quote this show unironically

- from a writing point of view I understand that John gushing over Sherlock is to show off and emphasize their specialest boy- but, some sincerity is infused into it from an acting standpoint

- 30:02 GIRLIE WHAT IS THAT SOUND EFFECT

- OOH YAY THE PSYCHOPATH/SOCIOPATH STUFF WHOO YEAAAAH

- All the phones calling as john walks past is kinda cool but mostly stupid

- oh anthea, what a rich character lmao

- how long was mycroft posed like that

- First johnlock queerbait whooo

- Where does he fuck off to???

- he just vanishes lmaoooo

- Three patch problem. Bruh.

- I am bored as shit, help

- This music- girl

- Bloated is a very good word to describe some of these scenes

- HERE SHE IS- THE BIG DADDY OF QUEERBAITING

- this scene is insane fucKING INSANE I HATE THIS SHOW

- god how much episode is left fucksake

- the stop/go signs- pick a tone girl

- this episode is so almost good and it's anytime Sherlock makes a mistake lmao

- not the drugs bust :/

- ooh sociopath line- whoo

- "I don't have to [imagine]." OOOH OKAY, WELL, YOU GUYS GET *ONE* POINT FOR THAT SHEESH

- this is so ridiculous- COME WITH ME- girl shut up

- I wanna be done I wanna be doooone.

- lamenting the confrontation we had in the unaired pilot

- The 'Frwhoomp' noise as the light goes out, girl

- 20 Minutes left my christ

- BRO- I forgot that bit of ADR wooooof

- and thus begins the scree of Moriarty

- five years, why is Scotland Yard still doubtful of Sherlock's skills? I know he might have been deep in his addiction during some of that, but they evidently kept him around for crime solving.

- Great man/good man quote has me fumin babes, my god, what a fundamental misunderstanding of Sherlock Holmes

- boring ass back and forth

- this piano is giving me war flashbacks

- is it a five orange pips reference?

- also the pills look like that speckled gum that burns your throat

- when is it oveeer

- falling asleep

- bomb under the table but the table is made of glass and hates gay people

- she tooks the kidssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

- 13 min

- love, or rage, dude, come on Sherlock

- i hate this 'enjoying crime too much' theme they've written

- like watching a stupid play

- once more, the potential

- moriarty he said calmly

- also, so out of character for Sherlock do I even need to say

- peaks of what could have been- FUCK

- this mycroft fake out- lord

- also, mummy, fucksake

- cheesy ending BUT IT'S OVER

#like pulling teeth #and it's only episode ONE #anti bbc sherlock #not tagging the main fandom tag because i don't really wanna dunk on the fans #they've been through enough lmao #sherlock holmes #john watson #feral sh rewatch

[heeracha]

bonus ep 3. / bonus ep 4. — the one with heeseung's doe eyes.

buy one, take me. — l. heeseung

synposis: with his best friend asking him for help because said best friend was scared he wasn't "boyfriend material" enough, heeseung looks for flower shops for his best friend's girlfriend. thankfully, jake knows someone from the university who has an aunt that owns a flower shop, you. now, heeseung messages you and shyly, but shamelessly asks if he can get any promos or discounts to which you shamelessly answered him, "buy one, take me". heeseung doesn't pass on this, of course. after all, you are pretty damn cute.

pairing: heeseung x flortist!fem!reader

content/genre: college au, slowburn, fluff, angst and crack, smau.

warning(s): swearing, of course. two idiots aka heey/n,,

note: SET IN COLLEGE BOTM ERA. it's me again,,,,, never moving on from botm lmao,, how r u guys lmAO DFHBSJDH i just FJH BFS okay im going to,,,, siGH enjoy

college botm heey/n

with your professor’s voice booming around the lecture hall, you annotate his words into your notes remembering the important parts and all that. you were very much into the lesson, but in your peripheral vision, you see a distracting hand waving outside through the window.

your blockmates’ friends should really control themselves. it’s not even dismissal yet. your eyes land on the waving person, your eyes widen. 

oh.

correction, heeseung should really control himself.

he smiles widely when he sees you looking at him. he waves over for you to come out, but you shake your head, subtly pointing at your professor. heeseung frowns, waving you over in a more childish way. you shake your head, frowning. heeseung takes his phone out and you immediately grab your phone, hiding it from your professor.

seungie <3: flower come on !! let’s go home <3

seungie, i’m sorry. just a little bit more, okay?

seungie <3: :(

seungie <3: what time is ur dismissal

5:30

seungie <3: you sAID JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE,,, IT’S LITERALLY 3:02

IM SORRY BUT I HAVE TO FINISH

seungie <3: COME ON FLOWER PLEASE :(

NO IM SCARED HES GOING TO BE MAD

seungie <3: WE’LL KICK HIM ON THE KNEES THEN WE’LL RUN !! HE WOULD HAVE TO RECONNECT HIS JOINTS FIRST BEFORE CATCHING YOU <333

SEUNGIE NO ??????

seungie <3: please? :(

no :(

seungie <3: :(

i’ll make it up to you later i promise

i love you honey

you put your phone away, looking at heeseung. he stands there like a child, glaring at you with a small pout on his lips. but he gives up and walks past your lecture room. 

so, you go back to listening to your professor and writing everything he says. it was going well, every little information was going inside your head, not feeling disorganized or anything. thirty minutes pass by, and a student comes knocking, excusing themself as they talk to your professor. 

he only hums, pushing his glasses up higher on his nose. “y/l/n, you’re needed in the guidance office. your aunt called.” he says and you nod, mumbling a thank you as you grab your stuff and dash out of the lecture hall. 

why didn’t she just shoot you a message? did you turn your phone off? no. what the hell happened? questions burst in your mind as you run to the office, pushing the door open as you step in. 

and there was your answer.

jake sitting on the desk with heeseung in front of him, smiling at you with his adorable doe eyes.

you forgot jake works part time in the guidance office. you glare at heeseung and he only smiles. “hi, flower.” he enthusiastically says. he has no regrets and absolutely no shame. you look at him unamused and jake chuckles.

“i’m sorry, y/n.” jake says.

“i swear to god, lee. if you never had those eyes, i would break up with you.” you say and heeseung giggles, looking at jake, patting his arm.

“you heard that, jake? my flower loves me.” heeseung boasts and jake shakes his head.

“i’m pretty sure she said she wants to break up with you.” jake says and heeseung only smiles, standing up and going to you.

“you’d rather kiss me, right?” heeseung says and jake scoffs under his breath. he cannot believe how big of a simp his friend was. also, delusional. still, you were staring at him in unamused and heeseung smiles, turning his head as he leans his cheek close to your nose.

you sigh, pressing your lips against his cheek. the small sound of smooch made heeseung beam and he pulled away to grab his bag from the seat as he also takes your bag from your shoulder. “bye, jake. thank you!”

“heeseung, don’t forget your promise—”

“what? i can’t hear you, i’m busy hanging out with my flower!” heeseung says, grabbing your hand as he rushes out of the office with you. you look at him and he only smiles, kissing your nose.

“you’re so lucky, i love you.” you say and heeseung beams, going to his car as he puts your stuff inside. you were about to go around, to go to the passenger seat when heeseung grabbed your hand. you turn around, looking at him.

“i really am. thank you.” heeseung says, cupping your cheeks as he presses his lips against yours. you kiss back, wrapping your arms around his waist. “i love you, too.”

#mom i love them #Hiraya-M #enhypen imagines #enhypen reactions #enhypen scenarios #enhypen fluff #enhypen x reader #enhypen soft hours #enhypen smau #enhypen social au #enhypen socmed au #heeseung imagines #heeseung reactions #heeseung drabbles #heeseung soft hours #heeseung scenarios #heeseung x reader #heeseung social media au

[nattinatalia]

Jack Harlow x Reader Instagram AU

L

First dates, before kids and marriage 💘

💘

Liked by urbanwyatt, nemoachida, druski2funnny, neelamthadhani, and 7,667,344 others

jackharlow First dates makes me nervous but had to bring her to the fair, only right if you ask me.

View all 1,500 comments

urbanwyatt Blink twice if you need saving.

nemoachida And how are you going to see dumb ass if he does blink

cozane we may or may not be right behind them 🤫

druski2funnny Cockblockers

jackharlow 🤦🏼‍♂️

neelamthadhani is she a sweetheart like she seems???

jackharlow A little shy but it’s going good 😊

urbanwyatt GET OFF YOUR PHONE IDIOT.

cozane She looks like if she’s annoyed that you’re on your phone.

yourusername Hiii 👋🏼 not annoyed lol figured he was talking to the friends who keep following us around 😉

druski2funnny LMAO y’all got caught.

quiiso ya ain’t slick 💀

urbanwyatt My bad 😥

yourusername You’re good, glad he has good friends who keep an eye out for him though.

jackharlow 🥺 ❤️

yourbestiename Does this mean I can make it known that me and y/sister/name have been following you too?

urbanwyatt Oh? Who’s this 🤔 👀

jackharlow Urb stay away.

yourusername Lmao y/bf/name will eat all of you alive. Stay away for your safety 🤭

urbanwyatt I’m willing to risk it all 😋

yourbestiename Taking notes 📝

jackharlow Ok all of you can leave us alone, do your own thing. Let us enjoy our date.

💘

@ yourusername added to their story

💘

Liked by yourbestiename, yoursistername, farinamusic, normani, dojacat, and 7,567,345 others

yourusername First date went great. I promise I’m not bored or mad, I was focusing on the tossing game 💀💀

View all 1,400 comments

yourbestiename 🥺 Beba I’m so happy for you

yoursistername Sissy 🫶🏻 enjoy yourself, you deserve it.

normani Roses and fair? He winning points

yourusername He really is 🙈

urbanwyatt I apologize for following you guys for the first 30 minutes. Just wanted to make sure my boy wasn’t going to get kidnapped

jackharlow 🤦🏼‍♂️

cozane I’m not apologizing, it was necessary

druski2funnny Shes going to hate you guys lmao

neelamthadhani For sure haha

yourusername OMG no, lol. My friends did the same thing. You’re all good.

urbanwyatt So that friend of yours, little short thing 👀

jackharlow URB NO

yourusername 😂😂😂

💘

@ urbanwyatt added to their story

💘

@ urbanwyatt added to their story

💘

@ yourusername added to their story

💘

@ yourbestiename added to their story

💘

@ jackharlow added to their story

💘

#instagram au #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow #jack harlow fic #jack harlow x y/n

[robinofgothamcity]

"i'll be your tutor."

character: eli brooks / the girl next door

pronouns used: she/her

note: not checked for grammar or spelling mistakes / please don't clown me this is my first time writing for eli and i struggled a bit lmao

"dude, she won't go for you. klitz maybe but she's not into weird guys like you," a friend of yours told eli who looked mightily offended at what she had said. you were sitting down on your computer typing up the last bit of your paper when your friend caught eli staring at you with no bit of shame, "and why do you say that?" he asked.

klitz knew what she had meant when she said that you'd be into him more than eli. you were academically smart and really only associated yourself with those who were in your classes. you and klitz were off to yale in the fall as the two of you were the only students in the entire student body accepted to an ivy league school.

"i know you're dumb eli but use what you learned in english and gather context clues here," she said. eli thought about it for a quick second, "you're saying i'm dumb?" your friend started laughing as they all saw you approaching them. eli stood in place subtly fixing his shirt.

"hey, ap world starts in a few minutes and we shouldn't be late," you told your friend and klitz. you gave a wave to his friend matt before looking to eli, "hey," you greeted him before ushering the others to get a move on.

eli looked to matt with an excited look on his face. you knew of klitz's friend eli. he had this weird little porn directing ambition and although you knew it should have grossed you out, a part of you overlooked that. eli was cute and you knew if eli was athletically inclined, he'd be as popular as the other kids in the school. you; however, did know eli was not as smart academically. klitz had told you a few times that he struggled in the easiest subject sometimes.

now that summer was approaching and all of you were on the brink of graduating, you knew you had all summer to do as you pleased. yale didn't begin their classes until after labor day weekend and that would be more than enough time to actually fulfill any kind of activities that wouldn't be shoving your head into a book.

all of you got to ap world history when you opened your phone to see a message from the leader of the tutoring center.

"tutors needed asap. student names and subjects below:

eli brooks: american history from 1700s to present."

you saw the list of other names and realized that there wouldn't be many people to take eli as student.

"i'll take eli from 3-4:30."

you sent the text and put your phone back into your pocket. the lesson was boring but considering all you had to do was pay attention to the lecture and turn in half decent notes until graduation came, you knew it wasn't hard work. you had heard of the other ap students who still had to take exams even after the national exams had finished.

once class finished you saw klitz running up to you from his desk. you stared at him confused, "you'll really take eli? like you're not joking?" he asked frantically. you nodded, "you have no idea how much this means. he's literally on the brink of failing american history and not graduating," he said.

"american history is so easy. tell him i'll meet him in the library after school. he'll need his notebook and textbook."

klitz nodded as you walked away towards the cafeteria. you had a free period before you scheduled lunch hour which you usually spent doing homework in an empty classroom. klitz on the other hand sprinted to find eli. he found him already heading towards his math class clearly still not informed on what you had agreed too or else he wouldn't have been as calm as he was.

"dude check your phone!" he screamed causing eli to jump back. eli didn't say anything but did as klitz asked and saw a few messages.

"your assigned tutor: ( your name ). scheduled meeting times: mondays and wednesdays from 3-4:30."

eli stared at klitz as if he didn't believe what he read. he reread what the text said before shaking klitz, "if this is a joke give it up now," eli stated as klitz shook his head no, "she's serious she told me to tell you to meet her in the library with your textbook and notes after the bell rings!" he yelled back. they both sounded like little girls at the way they were screaming about this but this was practically a dream come true for eli. you were his tutor. his tutor.

"maybe you will graduate after all," klitz said. eli laughed in disbelief as he arrived to the front of his math class, "maybe she'll be in one of my movies?" eli asked klitz which immediately earned him a smack on the head, "don't ruin your chances by acting dumb!" he yelled as he realized the warning bell had rang off a minute ago and he was going to be late to class.

once classes finished you had made your way to the library. you had took out your snacks and laid them on the table as you pulled out a library copy of the american history textbook. you noticed eli at the entrance of the library doors as matt and klitz were talking to him. you couldn't make out what they were saying but you could tell they were excited about whatever it was.

eventually eli made his way towards you and sat down nervously across the table, "hey eli! so you're having issues in american history?" you asked. he nodded nervously, "well, what's the issue? dates? specifics of war?" you asked.

"i guess the dates of things. i failed my last three exams for not knowing the correct dates," your eyes widened hearing how many exams he failed in a row, "oh okay well i guess we'll start there. how about we focus on your next two exams which will be enough to have you pass with at least a C-."

eli sighed knowing he was actually going to have to actually do work but paid attention to what you were saying. the way you were bending over the table to point out a few things in the book made his look at your figure. your shirt was riding up showing your hips which caused him to get flustered.

"eli! pay attention! the 1930s market crash has a lot of dates to remember! if it's dates you're struggling with, this section has a lot of them you need to remember and what happened with them so i would pay attention."

before you could say anything else, your stomach grumbled.

"sorry," you said a bit embarrassed, "i had a few snacks before you got here but i skipped lunch accidentally but thats besides the point!" you said going back to the textbook. eli laughed at the way you tried to dismiss your hunger and stared back at the book.

the two of you remained in the library until your alarm went off indicating that your time with him was finished, "see you on wednesday? we could go over this and a few other things that you might need to learn," you said closing the textbooks.

you gave him one final smile as he waved at you goodbye. you knew you had to run home before it got dark or else your mom would yell at you once again for walking alone. before you could leave, you saw eli's hat on the chair next to where he sat. you grabbed the black cap reading the 'vivid video' on the front. you rolled your eyes but grabbed it knowing that he practically lived in that hat.

the next morning you got to school an hour before classes were set to begin. you always got there a few minutes to an hour because of how quiet the halls were.

you had placed eli's hat on your head and got to working on one of the school computers. you liked to mess with the computers they had in the tech room every once in a while. the computers were like bigger calculators in your mind and every chance you got to write your papers on them, you enjoyed it.

as the school got busier, you closed the computer and went on your way to find eli. you knew him and the rest of them hung out in the front of the school.

"hey eli, you forgot your hat yesterday in the library," you said approaching him. eli felt his heart racing seeing you in his hat. you took it off and placed it on his head, struggling to put it on his head due to his height, "see you guys around," you said hearing your friend calling your name.

eli snatched his hat, smelling it like a creep, "it smells her shampoo," he exclaimed. matt and klitz rolled their eyes, "kinda weird dude," matt said. eli shook his comment off and continued to hold it. he didn't want to get his feelings up but maybe he did hold a chance in dating you.

"when's the next time you guys study together?" klitz asked as they all headed towards homeroom, "wednesday. we have like two more study sessions before my next exam so she's crammed dates into my head like it's her job," he replied, "yeah, figured as much."

+

you decided to meet with eli on sunday at his place. you wanted to make sure he got a few extra hours of studying done before his exam tomorrow. from the small quizzes you had given him throughout the week, you knew he would pass even if it was by a slim chance.

the May heat was starting to begin which meant that you were now wearing a bit more of revealing clothing. you had on a yale tanktop and athletic shorts. you opted for the most comfortable things you had in your closet and that was the closest thing to loose clothing.

"i think we could use a break," you exclaimed slamming his book down. eli laughed as he tossed you a water from his small fridge, "tired?" he asked. you nodded, "yale has been bugging me about getting in my grades as soon as possible and we have entrance exams next time so i've been busy. what colleges have you applied too?" you asked.

eli stayed quiet not knowing what to say.

"a few, why do you ask?" you shrugged, "just wondering. i know klitz and i are going to yale and matt is heading to georgetown so i figured you'd be going somewhere close to either of them." he never thought of applying to surrounding schools to where klitz and matt were going but he was too late. he knew most schools closed applications in march.

"why don't you apply to community colleges in new haven or washington d.c.? you know that going to community colleges and transferring credits to a four year saves you money," you explained, "i feel like a stupid admissions counselor right now but it's true. you could still be close to matt or klitz if you did that."

"why do you care so much?" eli asked without realizing how rude he sounded. you laughed as you noticed how quickly he covered his mouth, "you're my student eli. i know you're smart, you just have to push yourself harder, that's all. i also know about that other dream you have and i mean, in theory, you could go to school for directing or filming," you responded.

eli stared at you as if you were einstein, "you're right," he murmured, "i tend to be," you joked as you smacked your pen on the book in front of him, "lets get back to studying brooks and if you get most of the questions right, you'll get a surprise," you replied.

eli was surprised to hear what you had said last but grabbed the printed paper from your hand and got to work. you sat back, enjoying the fan that was hitting your face and waited for eli to finish the small quiz. it took him a few minutes but once he finished, he looked back up and saw you with your eyes closed and taking in the cold air that was hitting you.

"done," he responded. you bent over and grabbed the paper along with your pink pen. eli stared at you nervously. he wanted to know what the surprise was but it felt as if you were taking your time, "why is it that you work the hardest when you have an offer at the end?" you asked playfully as you handed back the perfect 100%.

you put the books away and smiled, "your surprise is that you're done an hour early," you joked as he deflated at what you said. you moved the books onto the floor and couldn't help but notice how cute he looked. he was leaning towards the back of the chair as he was sitting on it with the back facing the front.

"anyone ever tell you how cute you are?" you asked suddenly. eli was taken back by what you had said, "no," he stuttered nervously. you laughed as you bent to try and get closer to him, "i mean, you're a little weird given that porn directing dream you have but hey, we all have our interests, right?"

eli couldn't believe what he was hearing. here you were, one of the smartest kids in the entire school calling him cute. you didn't even find him wanting to direct porn that weird!

"yeah i guess," he murmured with a bundle of nerves overtaking him. you smiled and leaned in closer to him, "maybe i can be in one, discreetly of course," you whispered. eli felt like he had ascended to heaven because of what you were saying.

"you'd be into it?" he asked. you laughed at how suddenly confident he was, "i mean, you can at least ask me out to be your girlfriend first," you replied. you felt eli's breath hitting your lips making you want to just smash your lips on his but you restrained from doing so.

"you pass your exam and i'll let you take me out on a date. how does that sound?" you asked. you had bent yourself over enough to push up your breasts to try and make him even more flustered but eli's confidence had overtaken him and smashed your lips on his. you laughed in-between kisses but let him continue. his hand found yours as he intertwined them.

before you could moan any louder than you just were as he bit down on your lip to tease you he pulled away and felt like he was on cloud nine.

"can you help me study some more?" he asked now excited more than ever. you nodded, pulling yourself back and opening up the textbook again. a part of you really did hope eli passed his exam because if he was this great of a kisser as a virgin, you knew third base would take you by surprise.

"the 1930s great depression started because of......"

#the girl next door #the girl next door x reader #the girl next door imagine #eli brooks #eli brooks imagine #eli brooks x reader

[nenchainzz]

Hello! I'd like to request Shikanoin Heizou (Genshin Impact) with prompts 37, 39, and 41 please!

Also, thank you for taking the time to create content for us internet people to enjoy!

Aww, thank you for your sweet words, anon!! <3

Heizou Shikanoin with Prompts 37: A Work Day Where The Character And The Reader Try Not To Die Of Boredom || 39: An Interrupted Kiss || 41: "I'm pretty sure you're the only thing that fills my head these days"

Based on The Office US because I'm rewatching it again lmao

Word Count: 2.2k

Thank you once again to @da1ryqveen for helping me!! ILYSM BESTIE!!

A/N: Ugh, Heizou, my beloved ilysm <3 Pls marry me, sir

You look over at Heizou, whose head is still dead against the chill of his desk. He's been lying for some time now, and you almost feel bad for the guy. The boss Takayuki Kujou asked everyone to complete their daily expense reports. Usually, that wouldn't be an issue, but for Heizou, the reports took him about five minutes, and now it's two hours later, and he's bored as all hell.

You usually always have something to do as the office receptionist. Whether typing notes for meetings, answering phones, or organizing schedules for your boss. But at the moment, you're also accessible as a bird. Mainly because Mr. Kujou was out, and the office was left to the defacto leaders Kamaji and Sara, the office favorites. Kamaji is kind and thoughtful; Sara is straight-laced and hardworking. So, they're pretty well balanced. Way better than the head boss.

This whole train of thought stops when you see Heizou lift his chin up. His chin rests on the desk rather than his face. You see him glance around at the other employees, and then he fixes his gaze on you. You feel yourself get flustered, so you quickly wave at him. His desk sits about five feet away from yours, so this is a regular occurrence. He smiles at you, gets up from his desk, and walks over to you. He rests his arms on your desk as he speaks.

"Y/N, I am bored out of my mind," he pouts. "Are you doing anything interesting that I can help with?"

"Not really, I'm just passing the time," you tell him. You hear him groan.

"I'd thought for sure that you'd be doing something," he complains. You laugh.

"Sorry, what have you been doing this whole time?" you ask him even though you saw exactly what he was doing. He gives you a small smirk.

"Just passing the time," he answers, and you laugh again. "So, how do you suppose we really pass the time?"

"Aren't you supposed to be working on those reports?" you ask him playfully, and he chuckles while rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, those took me five minutes," he tells you.

"Heizou, if Sara finds out that you're not working, she'll be pissed," you remind him. Unfortunately, Heizou and Sara have never seen eye to eye.

"Yeah, I could really care less about that," he says. "Come on, let's do something. I'm dying here." You sigh deeply and look at the time. Only 1:30.

"Screw it, fine," you agree. He says a silent "yes!" "What do you have in mind?"

"I think we should play some games," he suggests.

"Seriously?" you ask.

"Yup," he affirms. "Come on." He grabs your hand, leads you from your desk, past all the other employees, and into the break room. You see Kamaji sitting at a table eating his lunch. He sees you and Heizou and gives you both a warm smile.

"Hello, Heizou and Y/N," Kamaji greets.

"Hello," you and Heizou both say. Then, before anything else, you whisper to Heizou.

"What is your game here?" you ask. Heizou leans in close to you to whisper his response.

"Whoever gets him to talk about his secret girlfriend from the Kanjou office first wins," his words dance in your ears from his closeness. The closeness makes you feel warm as Heizou sits beside Kamaji. So you decide to sit beside Kamaji as well on the other side.

"So, Kamaji," you start. "That lunch looks pretty good."

"Oh, it is," Kamaji agrees with you.

"I bet you were enjoying it with someone," you lead. "You know, a special someone." You see Heizou laugh to himself. Kamaji blushes at your comment.

"Wh-What? I have no special someone. What do you mean?" Kamaji denies your lead. You look at Heizou, who gives you faux pity.

"Well, you are amongst friends, Kamaji," Heizou says. Kamaji looks at Heizou happily.

"I am?" he asks.

"Of course," Heizou says.

"Guys, I...I am really am not seeing anyone," Kamaji says, trying to stop the prying.

"Really? That's good because I heard that one of Y/N's friends is interested in you at the Christmas party," Heizou fibs.

"Huh?" you and Kamaji both say. Heizou gives the play-along look.

"Uh, yeah, yeah," you agree.

"Oh, uh, well, I can't date your friend Y/N; I'm sorry," Kamaji stutters.

"How come? They really, really liked you, and you didn't think they were cute?" Heizou's really pushing now.

"Yeah, they were, but..." Kamaji hesitates.

"But what?" Heizou asks. Kamaji's blush becomes a deeper red.

"It's just...that..." Kamaji is really struggling.

"You know, I think we've made you uncomfortable," Heizou suddenly says. "Y/N and I respect your privacy. Come on, Y/N."

"Huh? Oh, yeah, right. Uh, bye, Kamaji," you both get up from the table and leave Kamaji.

When you're both alone again, you ask Heizou your burning question.

"Why did you just suddenly up and leave?" you ask Heizou.

"Well, he was getting upset so I think we should let him cool off before we try again don't you?" Heizou explains.

"Uh, I guess," you agree.

"Anyway, what's something else we can do?" Heizou wonders. "Oh, how about playing cards in the meeting room?"

"What? Won't we get in trouble?" you ask.

"Not if we put the blinds down on the windows leading into the room and put a sign up that says there's a meeting in progress," Heizou explains.

"I don't know," you say. If anyone were to catch you both, you would be in great trouble.

"Oh, come on. If anything happens, I'll take the fall," Heizou vows.

"I'm holding you to that," you tell him.

"You get some cards, and all take care of the meeting room," he says, and you separate to do your assigned jobs.

You look in your bag and find some playing cards and make a sign that reads "Meeting In Progress." You return to the meeting room to see the shades pulled down and ready for you. You place the sign on the door to the meeting room and open the door to find Heizou sitting waiting for you.

"You got them?" Heizou asks excitedly.

"Yup, right here," you show him the stack of cards and sit across from him. "What should we play?"

"Well, I'm a master at every game there is. Poker, Rummy, Blackjack, Crazy Eights, Kings in the Corner, you name it, I'm a master," Heizou boasts.

"Okay, well then, we will play War," you say.

"Huh? Why? That game is easy," Heizou gives you a confused look.

"Yeah, but it's luck based," you counter. "So, your mastery has little to no bearing." Heizou laughs a bit.

"Very clever, Y/N," he compliments.

"I know, I have my moments," you joke and begin to shuffle the cards. The object is simple just have a higher card than the other person, and you flip a card face down, so it's all based on chance. The perfect game to play against Heizou. And it's not mentally very taxing, so you and Heizou can talk as much as you want.

The game begins with Heizou placing a six down and you a ten. Next, you take both cards and put them into your pile. This process continues with the winner being chosen by chance.

After a bit, you both place down a seven meaning there is a war. Then, you both place three cards face down, and the fourth has to be the winning card.

"Come on, win this," you say to your card.

"Nervous I'll win? That's cute, Y/N," Heizou teases. You grow warm from his words.

"I'm not nervous," you say. "I know I'll win."

"Okay, I'll hold you to that," he copies your statement from earlier.

◯ ༚.°

"Miss Sara, is there supposed to be a meeting today?" an employee asks while standing at Sara's desk.

"No, not that I know of," she says. "Why?"

"It's just that there is a meeting going on in the conference room with all the shades pulled down and a sign about there being a meeting," the employee explains.

"There shouldn't be a meeting in there," she says, getting up from her desk to see what the fuss is about. She walks up to the meeting room without knocking heads straight in.

You and Heizou stop and look at Sara with dumbfounded faces. She is clearly upset but tries to stay calm as she sees the playing cards on the table.

"What is going on here?" she asks. You and Heizou look at each other and try to find an excuse.

"We were just, uh," you can't think of something to say.

"Do you two think this is really a good way to spend company time?" Sara asks, and your face grows very sad and scared. Then, you become warm, but it's out of fear instead. "I should write you both up for this."

"Madam Sara," Heizou stops her. "Don't blame this on Y/N. I dragged them in here."

"Oh really?" Sara eyes Heizou, who nods.

"Yes, so please don't punish them," he pleads.

"Fine," she agrees and walks out. You sigh in relief.

"Thank you, Heizou," you say as you get from the table.

"Hey, I said I'd cover for you. I'm a man of my word," he says. You grab his hand and then kiss his cheek. His face grows red from your sudden boldness, but his flusteredness switches quickly into confidence. "Oh, Y/N, you missed." He cradles your cheeks and leans in to kiss your lips. You close your eyes, ready for the impact.

"EXCUSE ME!" Sara's voice rings in the meeting room, and you and Heizou quickly separate from one another. "Get back to work!"

"Yes, Madam Sara," you both say and follow her out. You both giggle as you're walking out and returning to your desks.

You sit back at the receptionist's desk while Heizou sits at his desk. You smile at each other as you try to find work for the rest of the day.

The day ends, and you finish organizing some folders as Heizou stalks up to your desk once again.

"It is 5:01, meaning I can be here talking to you," he says.

"That's true," you agree.

"So, Y/N, do you wanna maybe grab a drink or something?" he asks.

"Oh?" you ask. "Really?"

"Yeah, the truth is I'm pretty sure you're the only thing that fills my head these days," he admits. "I mean, you're the only one I'd spend time with when I'm bored." His words make you smile and feel warm.

"I would love to go out with you," you say.

"Oh! Before we go, I'm going to say something to Kamaji," Heizou says as if he just remembered something.

"Oh, okay," you say, and he goes over to Kamaji's desk, which finds itself on the other side of the office. Kamaji has his back turned to you as he talks on the phone with someone.

"Yeah, they almost got me to tell them everything," Kamaji says. "They're quite the pushy duo."

"It sounds like he's talking about us," you whisper to Heizou. Heizou nods as you both continue to listen.

"I know Chisato, dear, I won't, I know," Kamaji says. You and Heizou look at one another. Holy crap. Kamaji unknowingly spilled. "I love you, too. Goodbye." Kamaji turns around to see you and Heizou. Kamaji jumps in his seat and then looks defeated. "Please tell me you didn't hear that phone call." You cringe, and Heizou looks down at the ground, then back at Kamaji.

"Sorry," Heizou apologizes.

"Oh, great," Kamaji puts his hand on his forehead. "Can you guys keep this between us?"

"Yes, sir," you both agree.

"Thanks," Kamaji sighs. "What do you guys need from me?"

"Oh, just a relationship form," Heizou says. You and Kamaji look at Heizou, confused.

"What already?" you ask. Going out for drinks will be your first "date."

"Yeah, I like to be prepared," Heizou says. "And besides, I've wanted to take you out for a while now, so I want this to be a real relationship."

"Me too," you say.

"Well, I don't have the form with me right now, so—" Heizou cuts Kamaji off.

"That's alright," Heizou says, grabs your hand, and leads you away from Kamaji.

"I feel bad," Heizou says.

"Why?" you ask.

"Well, what I said about me and you was true, but I didn't need the relationship form. I just wanted to see if Kamaji was on the phone with his girlfriend," Heizou admits.

"What?" you ask.

"Yeah, so I'll buy him lunch tomorrow as an apology," Heizou continues. You laugh and shake your head.

"Heizou, you are a bad man," you playfully hit his arm.

"Hey, it was the only way I could gather the evidence," Heizou says. "And besides, that's not important to me right now. You are the most important thing right now, Y/N." You get warm again and squeeze his hand.

"You're paying for the first round because of your evil doings," you tell him.

"Alright, alright. I guess that's how I'll repent," he agrees.

(ﾉ´▽｀)ﾉ♪

© yakshasslut 2023, all rights reserved. do not plagiarize, use for ai, copy, translate, or repost my content on any platform. comments, reblogs, and likes are loved

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #heizou #shikanoin #heizou shikanoin #shikanoin heizou #heizou x reader #shikanoin x reader #heizou shikanoin x reader #shikanoin heizou x reader #self insert

[maximotts]

I held off on using scrivener for a long time because of the price tag. But has a 30 day trial and when they say 30 days they mean 30. It’s not from the 1st to the 30th of the month it’s you using it thirty different days. I went through a writing slump and had the trial for like six months lmao. So that is definitely worth a try if you’re still not sure about committing. (PC & Mac - not sure about the others)

I like that you can cloud back up with drop box. If you also buy the ios/android app (less than pc but still a lot. $40 AUD for me) you can switch between them easily. I don’t personally write on my phone but I feel safer with a physical version and a cloud back up.

I find writing on scrivener much easier. Especially long form. The cork board feature is super useful and hard to find somewhere else. There’s a notes feature for each separate scene which is useful when you want to write an idea down without interrupting your flow. I found it hard to plan fics because it’d just be a big block of text (and maybe a diagram) that I’d scroll through which not only sucked up time but I wouldn’t use it a lot and then have to rewrite stuff when I saw an idea I love but forgot.

I also love the scene feature because it stops me from accidentally rereading what I’ve already written instead of writing lmao. I’m writing stuff so much faster because I don’t see a big chunk of text and go “well I should reread to remember where I’m at” like I didn’t write 12 hours ago.

I was also hesitant to buy it because “it’s just another program google docs works just as well” buuuut it’s not. I was just barely writing lol. I would give the trial a go because it really gives you a chance to get familiar with everything without forcing yourself to write a much in a month. If you don’t end up liking the program you can export what you’ve written in there on the last day pretty easily so no harm no foul. The program has an simple setting to consolidate everything.

I also use scrivener for study! I’m getting a diploma to become a library technician and find the organisation of scrivener so helpful for taking notes. It also makes printing them for exam season so much easier.

So yeah :) I think you should get it but take advantage of the trial first just in case. Sorry for so much text but I hope this helps!

Ooo no apologies needed, I really appreciate the detailed review! I didn't know the 30 day trial meant thirty days of active use but that's actually so amazing, I love that!! I find sometimes when I'm trying to like, force myself to learn too much new stuff at once I get too stressed to like, take a breather with the program and then I end up not liking it as much so that's a really good feature!!

And YES to the rereading what you've already written because I fall into that trap way too much and then I'm like "welp now I have to get up and do something else now!" and nothing new gets done!!

Anything that's good for notetaking is a must try in my book tbh, I've been toying with doing a second degree for a bit, but also I just love to take notes on anything and everything I read and research so 👀👀

#anon asks. #answered

[jrueships]

what are the best wire ships?

YALL SHOULD NOT HAVE ASKED ME THIS LMAO 😭😭 i am so not serious to be the header on the wire fandom resurrection front but here we go 😭 i guess 😭! I HOPE URE READY CUS IM NOT LMFAO

FYI this post might contain some spoilers to the show but if u want a nonspoilerly version, just asked! it's pretty old so if yall haven't seen it i 10/10 recommend!!!

im painfully trying a rewatch of the show, i say painfully because my attention span watching a show vs a movie is KAPOOT! i can't stream 30 hours of a show but i can sit thru a 3 hr movie (if i haven't seen it before. Ill still have to get up and stretch sometime in the middle of it but ill be attentive nonetheless). LIKE... sitting thru a long movie holds more accountability to my mind i think. If i can't binge thru multiple episodes and end on a comfy, even number like episode 10, i can't bring myself to sit thru one without checking my phone 😭 BUT IT IS A GOOD SHOW! i just suck at watching shows in general, especially past the 1st season.. idek why.. it's like i get thru the 1st season in a happy binge breeze then BOOM! no more motivation... BUT WHAT I MEANT WITH THIS IS!!!!

This 1st post will mainly just kinda lightly touch on general knowledge from season 1 then expand in detail the more seasons i rewatch (with more ships too probably). This is mainly my fav ships i noticed now or back then

TO BE NOTED THO!! the wire isn't a really shippy show tbh, it's mainly about dynamics thru relationships contributing to story/effect on the story rather than romantic relationships. Every plot point has to have an eventual purpose for the story, every interaction, etc. It has like one will they won't they mainly for angst, and it's for Detective McNulty who has a general 'will he won't he' beat the Irish drinking gene or whatever lmao. If u wanna ship, u gotta really take the few nuggets the show might give u and REALLY turn them to gold. Cus they are gold in general, but it's up to you to make them really profit! IN CONCLUSION.. u gotta be. A little delusional. Hence our first 'ship' introduction..

🩵 stinkum & bird 🩵

... i told you we had to be a little unwell to really indulge. Sorry.

this is a totally biased list so please excuse me. Stinkum n Bird are two of Avon's muscle in the game and they both get outta it pretty quick. Involuntarily, of course, because they're the typa freaks that love it. With these two, you need context clues n connections. Almost EVERY scene Stinkum is in, he's GOT TO bring up his boy Bird. Hell, it might just be every. This is mainly due to the writers knowing the actor of bird is a big shot cameo, so it'd be too expensive to have Bird in a lot of scenes, especially in a TV show budget. And they also knew Stinkum wasn't made to last long so why not just use him as a substitute introduction to Bird's character so we don't have to pay that much for personal appearance in prologue? Bird's supposed to be the 'unhinged' one in the crew, the Crazy Guy. Crude, rude, cruel, & ruthless. Don't have the budget to show it, cheaper to tell it instead. Stinkum's just the hype man to Bird, essentially. Also he has another thing going on that leads to his early demise, but besides that, that's pretty much it. Goes to show how the show wants every dime spent for a strategical reason. Good TV shows need Causation, not 'and then's, but 'therefore' 'so' ETC.

... doesn't mean we can't have fun with it ourselves though. See, The Wire brings you quality entertainment, & it's up to us what we make of that quality to be entertained. Up to our love of the show to keep coming back to it and exploring the prime time possibilities it presented/hinted/hid. Which is a lot since practically every part of it is practical. The beauty of Stinkum n Bird to me is Stinkum being some wide-eyed doe eyed obsessed little freak who woobifies n glorifies n babygirlifies Brutal As Fuck bird because? He's insane. I guess? They both are! This is evidenced in the show, on purpose for plot! But this purpose can be made even better if we make something accidental out of it. Take the gold and spread its profits through smaller amounts, cut the product for bigger prices! LISTEN LIKE.. they made stinkum's character constantly bringing up Bird's name for plot... but him always yammering on about Bird can mean other things...... dare i say... gay things 😈. WHY does he always talk about Bird? For cheap character intro to get us ready when Bird makes his short appearance eventually yea but WHAT ELSE? they're giving us an ELSE without rlly GIVING us an else! Stinkum, who's a bit of a dopey lil goon guy, might have been unknown to a certain shooting danger one night when BLAM! He turns around, not filled with lead, but with awe for the guy he just saw skin a man alive... save HIS skin by dealing with his unforeseen assailant. Stinkum sees a softer side to the craziest, cruelest guy in their group, and has his respect eternally earned. Does Bird ever return it?? We don't know.... Bird never mentions Stink. Which creates more fun for us cus we get bounce off that with whatever the hell we want. It always goes back to the source! IF YOU WANT.. i recommend looking up 'the wire stinkum' / 'the wire bird' and ull find their scenes that show more of their character. I can elaborate on a single ship in more detail if u want, just ask ! trust me, id be MORE than happy to lmao!

🩵 Bird n Omar 🩵

Apparently, thanks to Stinkum, we know Bird n Omar jailed with each other. And STINKUM heard from BIRD that Omar was gay?? Which is like.. ok. Thanks stinkum/bird??? That's a bit.. what do u mean by that... have you, Bird, man whose little scenes he's shown is spewing same sex sexuality slander 99% of the time, Experienced that info Firsthand? Are you. Perhaps. Were you... One of Omar's whole stable of boys he had while locked up at Jess Up 🤨? ...the public needs to know 😈. Is all this talk you have against the lgbt.. perhaps... coming from a bit of internalized Rage 🤨? hm 😼? AND THIS ISNT JUST MY SPECULATION EITHER!! Other wire fans thought this!! They were sus on stinkum n Bird's relationship too!!! hell i GOT that idea from one of the wire's youtube COMMENTS!! yall we see it.. we do. Also Omar is 5'10... Bird is 5'3 at worst (says he's 5'5 but trust me. That is a definite lie.) .. Bird's also Omar's type too (which i find hilarious).. lightskinned. some may say, even, a little bratty BUT HEY! HEY!! im just usin my context clues given to me from THE SHOW ok! dont shoot the messenger bird... Omar looked like he was enjoying Bird getting his comeuppance a little Too well in that police interrogation scene.. i wouldn't be surprised if there was a deleted scene of him saying 'oh what a mouth'... BUT FROM THE SCENE GIVEN TO US THO.. what do you Mean 'bird really knows how to bring it out of people', Omar 🤨? What do you. What do you Mean by That 🤔? something.... explicit 🫣?

ANYWAYYYSS... smthin Bigger.

🩵Avon & Stringer 🩵

u rlly do have to see the show for all of these to rlly land with u tbh, the bigger ones especially bcs when the show has two characters they keep close for long... u know they're gonna be in pain. And u are too. I love avon and stringer man they make me so 😭😭!! One bleeds red the other bleeds green... ones all for family, the other for profession but DAMN IT! He thought he was family too, isn't it? Aren't i... Avon ? If the other ship types were doofy tongue out loyal to the bone tail wagging dumbly following dog Stinkum x asshole cat with claws who Maybeeee has a Slight soft spot for the dog where only HE can scratch it sometimes Bird, or elegant silk n clever streetcat with a semi bitten ear who steals fish with class Omar x rowdy rabid orange tabby cat who jumps at windows trying to eat other cats Bird..... this one is . Opposites attract. Unlikely friends to the end. Unlikely betrayal in bonds. Unlikely.. Unlikely. I don't wanna speak on it too much incase u haven't seen the show. It's just so good, it needs a justification thru watch. Avon and stringer together.. u can just feel the connection. Like these two Were childhood friends and now all this shit is happening to them.. this rift. It sucks!! It makes u wish the old days with them!! It makes u feel like an old head! Makes u feel what they're probably feeling but can't express cus they don't have the power or the pride rn!! I love them. They make me miserable. Avon and stringer were THE powercouple on the wire. They were THE girlboss malewife powercouple takeover. THE adhd bf Autistic bf romance. OKAY??? I just have to tell u the terms, it's up to u to see the show explain it. Watching stringer infodump about whatever smthing new he learned in his community college econ's is so cute. His finance bro business bro interests 😭 Avon acknowledging it and helping him indulge in it!! Making it a giant part of his organization!!! Avon the hardworking son from a long line of feared bad blood incorporating his businesstime consigliere godfather type shit ! Seeing avon get all excited at the bball game, jumping up n stomping the ground when he's winning or losing Lmao. Stringer roasting the competition, joining in on the pettiness. I love them. They're my petty powercouple and I GET TO SAY THEY DESERVED TO KISS EACH OTHER!! And GET MARRIED and LOVE EACH OTHER!!! okay!!! In another life avon is the prideful n stubborn basketball coach for their cc's poor basketball team and stringer is the sexy rich new econ professor who got demoted for being too harsh on his past private college students. D'angelo the spoiled nephew hates going to Stringer's class and hates Stringer even more when he becomes his strict new stepdad thanks to googly eyes at Avon. The coparenting comes with its troubles..

Another big crime dealing (literally) powercouple on the newer side..

🩵 marlo & Chris 🩵SHUTUP ABT CHRIS'S HAIR I TRIED OKAY IM NOT TRYING THAT HARD OKA

this one is mainly dynamic, there are some works for marlo/chris, but it's mainly dynamic exploration or relationship hinting if u squint but kept kinda dim under the surface. What's interesting abt these two is that.. They're just so interesting. It's like.. how Did they meet? WHY is chris so loyal to marlo? Also it's on misinterpretations too cus people might look at chris and think he's the ruthless killer who takes joy in his killings since he's big muscle for marlo's group... but actually he's a very chill (unless ur crime is Bad.) kinda kind n polite guy with a butler-like professional nature in his affable behavior sometimes . VS everyone thinking marlo is some emotionless, bug-eyed freak who just watches from the dark. And he is LMAO. Just like how chris CAN be ruthless, marlo CAN be hauntingly apathetic. But he can ALSO be very petty. I mean, half his Google images are of him looking disgusted LMAO. He's almost always vaguely annoyed, impeded upon, or intrigued. And chris n him Both know the other should not be messed with when pissed. If avon and stringer are the more kind of 'front and center' powercouple at the party, Marlo and chris are the two lonely assholes sitting in the dark corner (uninvited btw) of the party, vaping and judging people. Marlo doesn't drink, so he's just sipping ice water out of a red solo cup telling chris to kill whomever marlo finds insignificant (so everyone) while chris stares at the weather app on his phone, not knowing what to do. I love them in the goofy sense. They're just so awkward. Bruh girl 4 bruh girl. When two mfers with social skills where u can tell it's ok Except there's just smthin kinda Off about them, keeping them from being normL, find each other... the world burns. And it Did. They both have insane trauma and i think they should kiss. Ill def reblog with more abt them when i get to the later seasons rewatch..

🩵 Omar's og crew with him, Brandon, n bailey 🩵

i loved Omar's og little Robin hood crew so much 😭 it's a shame the wire back then didn't know how successful it'd be, so they introduced n had the other members live so short for story. They shouldve had more screen time fr! Doing shenanigans!! i just love the dynamic of Omar n Brandon being best bfs... Omar simping for Brandon n letting his mistakes slide bcs hes down bad for the lightskin.. and then there's lone wolf John bailey who just has to third wheel with them. Bailey is known to just go wherever the money goes, do whatever to get whatever, mix with whatever for whatever, so gotdammit if he has to spend time stealing money n drugs with gay people, he'll spend time stealing money n drugs with gay people!! i guess 😭. he definitely will be using that time to side eye them tho 😭😭. The funny gay couple and the straight man (literally) doing stealing shenanigans.. smh. We were robbed 😭 from their robbing!!!!!!!! i wish we saw more of them (dont get it twisted from all the praise the wire gets, it does have its faults, every show does!).. got to explore them more! We barely get to see Brandon before he dies n we don't even get to see John bailey's end result! Just hear it passing by! SMH!!! they were a cute lil ragtag group and i wanted to see them successful!!! also.. just saying John but... if u stayed n had a threesome instead of going to see ur 'mom', you wouldve lived longer...... probably not that long when you've got avon n his muscle minions after u... but still. You missed out big time bro. It's time to consider switching sexuality sides, methinks !

AS CLOSING SINCE WE'RE RUNNIN A LIL LONG!!

🩵 gay ppl.. everywhere

🩵 The Baltimore fuzz can also be poly excluding kima as platonic <3. Herc n Carver have too many sus conversations to be just bros at this point ... but ill talk more abt them later probably! They're rlly cute tho! And bunk n McNulty have their buddycop banter that's very domestic and assholic because they are domestic assholes. Bunk made lester bow-legged. Bunk ALSO outside of police stuff, has some childhood lore with Omar, of all people. Perhaps Omar had a schoolgirl crush on THE JOCK bunkster, feared star of his... school's game with the stick or whatever lol it sounds cute though! I'll talk more abt the fuzzy side of the show if u want, but they're pretty big so ull see more of that for urself with less explanation needed if u watch it !

🩵 avon's barksdale crew could be a poly powercouple gang takeover !! As could marlo's! With obvious platonic pieces as snoop probably has her own gf n such. Wee-bey is just so beautiful he needs to be a bf!! he needs someone to listen to his fish facts!! Him and stringer probably trade fish facts n finance facts! Avon and his gang kiss <3

🩵 bodie/Wallace have some fans! The stubborn kid playing tough guy to survive trying to steel his heart and the smart kid who's a little too soft and a little too supportive.. it's sweet and sad :( .

🩵 Bodie n poot are cute too. The second coming of girlboss malewife. Lil Kevin had to be in a poly with them or smthin cus there's no other reason why they should keep him along 😭 he was so shit at being muscle. It's not even funny LOL. Poot was also kinda shitty at being muscle too. Lil spoon headass, desperately debilitatingly declining hairline headass. Fuckin poot 😭.. bodie rlly spent his whole life carrying the team tbh. No wonder he's always such a crabby Lil guy! Yall make him do too much! By the time he was 26, he felt 86 probably !!

🩵 there's also cutty n slim charles, n other people that show in the later seasons that i can address later in a reblog, but yea! So far those are my favs mentioned n can be elaborated later! thank u SO much 4 asking, this was SUPER fun n appreciated 🩵🩵🩵 i doubt many ppl will read this n i don't blame yall but TRY if u can.. to watch The Wire if ure ever bored n have some freetime!! it's so good 😭

#if u dont have the span i def recommend watching youtube clips of it! searching whatever character ure interested in #cus the clips are golden! #they got a lot of good characters in the wire man!! and i love good characters! #if one doesnt hit another probably does ! #anyways yea!!! thanks for asking !! this was a blast <3 #ted longer #ted asks #enjoy my images at least if the words are too much for the brain which i totally get #ALSO DONT TAKE THE IMAGES TOO SERIOUS LOL u know ted is having a time when u see a photoshopped ted post #i am Never serious with those

[valeriianz]

It's a long list of writer asks so I asked a bunch: 4, 6, 15, 16, 29, 30, 50, 73, and 77!

AHH! Teej you spoil me <3

4: How do you choose which fics to write?

i dont. my heart wants to write one thing but my brain takes a hard left and never cooperates with me :')

6: What’s the last line you wrote?

for BitB:

“Hey man, I just work in the shadows. Same as you.” He looks sideways at the sound of someone calling his name. “I’ll see ya in a bit.”

15: What’s your favorite time to write?

morning. my brain is fresh and ready to go.

16: Do you write by hand, on your phone, or on your laptop?

laptop 100%. notes get written on my phone but i absolutely can't be serious on my phone.

29: What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

uh. i guess dialogue. my favorite thing to read is character stories and i think that is reflected a lot in my writing. i often read aloud dialogue that i've written so it makes sense and i obsess over the little details. i know that's not everyone's cup of tea, and i do feel like it gets overly fluffy at times, but yeah. dialogue and descriptions.

30: How much do you edit your fics?  Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

i perform the cardinal sin of editing as i go. i physically can't write a rough draft. ive tried. im in my 30s now. it will never change lmao. and the editing never stops. if i choose to sit on a fic or chapter, i can look over it for days and find things wrong with it/add on, whatever. i also love stressing myself out and re-reading it after it's posted and editing after the fact pfft.

50: How would you describe your writing style?

inconsistent haha. especially my tumblr fics vs. my ao3 stuff. someone else would havta tell me if i have a certain style. like, could you pick me out in a crowd of 5 other authors? not sure.

73: What do you tend to get complimented on the most about your writing?

the attention to detail. the specifics. which i appreciate because, as mentioned above, i tend to draw things out and get fixated on the details. thank you everyone for encouraging this behavior lol

77: Why do you enjoy writing fanfiction?

i just love writing my OTPs getting into shenanigans. but also the community it builds. i love interacting with authors/readers, i love sharing ideas, and it's just a part of fandom culture that's always been very near and dear to my heart.

fanfic asks!

#and dont think i didnt see that you sent these exact numbers to notallsandmen #very efficient of you haha #thank you TJ :) #tj-dragonblade #ask game

[k4katsujin]

denji x reader pt. 1, proofread and brainrot (/hj) version

author's note: nothing went according to plan lmao. anyway i got home safely and here is the proofread version, idk yet if i'll delete the first part but it's most likely to. anway enjoy ✨

author's note 2: i should've specified this in the first vers. but this will be a f!reader. i'll try w male!/ enby reader next but it won't be as good as this one

author's note 3 (last one i promise): i'm currently watching a friend playing ultrakill and WHAT THE FUCK THE GAME IS SO HARD like he's been fighting gabriel for like 30 minutes and still hasn't defeated him like 😭 also the way he says "foolishness, machine,foolishness" fr makes me feel some kind of way..

POV: y/n

it was a peaceful afternoon of summer and you were waiting for your sister's call to pick her up at the airport. you remembered the last call she gave you and, even though she didn't show it,you could feel that she missed you.

before you decided headed to the airport, you decided to buy some groceries, so that you could welcome her well.

you came back home with some yakisoba, some raspberries and some strawberry flavored rice alcohol, as you knew it was makima's all time favourite.

as the exact moment you started cooking, your phone rang.

-hi, y/n here! you said cheerfully.

-hello, y/n, said calmly makima. are you still OK with picking us up at the airport?

-sure!! you said happily. but what do you mean by "us"-?

-thank you!! she said, interrupting you ,not answering your question.

what did she mean by "us"? you thought as you made your way to your car. wasn't she supposed to come alone?

POV: makima

-makimaaa, denji said with a pout, when's your sister comiiiing ?

-be patient, denji-kun, she's on her way, i said with a smile.

power sighed loudly as a way of saying "why can't she come faster?" ,while angel and aki remained silent.

i headed to the closest shop to get denji,power and angel ice cream.

i swear to god they can be so childhish sometimes i said to myself.

my phone vibrated. it was a text from y/n.

sup bitch, i'm close to the building b. hurry tf up i'm too broke to pay the parking. c'ya <3

i couldn't help but smile at my phone. even though we didn't meet much due to our jobs,we always loved seeing each other.

-oiii, who's text are you smiling at? both denji and power asked.

-it was y/n, she said she's under the building b. come on kids, let's go!

we all headed to where my sister was, happy as we could be with our almost melting ice creams. y/n also got herself a strawberry one. seeing she remembered was heartwarming since it was the kind of ice cream we used to have when we were kids.

POV: y/n

-HEYYYY BIG SIIIISSS HOW ARE YOU??? I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!! you yell as you run to hug her. hold on. who are these people? you didn't tell me you weren't alone.

-the name's denji!! he cheerfully claimed.

-i'm power! nice to meet ya!!

-my name is aki hayakawa. nice to meet you and thank you for the ride.

-ice cream, said who i assume was the angel devil.

the ride was a little uncomfortable because i wasn't used to talking to people i didn't know. the heavy silence lasted for a while until my favorite song came on the radio. i immediately recognized the first notes of sweet/ i thought you wanted to dance.

-AYO I LOVE THIS SONG yelled denji, TURN THAT SHIT UP

we all swayed to the music on the way home, and it made me feel a little better to see that i wasn't as alone as i thought i was.

as soon as we got home, while i was preparing yakisoba for the rest of the group, makima joined me in the kitchen and asked me:

-i booked four hotel rooms, do you mind having denji staying here?

at first,i wasn't comfortable with sharing my appartment with someone i barely knew, but afterthought i was like "hey why not that's a good way to get to know someone"

-no problem! i said with a smile. that'd be a great opportunity to get to know each other!!

this is how i be looking lmao

anyway thanks for reading :D <3 i hope you have an amazing day (or whatever time of the day it is for you) stay hydrated and take care, ily! /g /p

(i'll start writing the second part today,, stay tuned!)

-saestsukko/ @chainsaw-locket-444

#csm daily #csm x reader #anime and chill #csmdaily #denjichainsawman #denji hayakawa #power csm #makima #chainsaw man #aki hayakawa

[navs-bhat]

I posted 2,735 times in 2022

That's 1,090 more posts than 2021!

6 posts created (0%)

2,729 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@robiinbuckley

@foreverindreamlandd

@darling-i-read-it

@itstheghostofmypast

@youreobsessedwithtoomanyfandoms

I tagged 42 of my posts in 2022

#marvel - 7 posts

#bucky x reader - 5 posts

#sebastian stan - 5 posts

#mcu - 5 posts

#bucky - 4 posts

#bucky barnes - 4 posts

#marvel fic - 3 posts

#bridgerton - 3 posts

#anthony bridgerton x reader - 3 posts

#anthony bridgerton - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 95 characters

#no offense but literally hes just a man hes not a hero hes just a man who had to sing this song

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

11 notes - Posted May 10, 2022

#4

Okay so I was reading this enemies to lovers bucky barnes one shot and well my phone switched off and I've lost it

So basically it goes like Tony and Steve send the reader and bucky for some time to Tony's winter cabin and well there's not enough food there and one bed and the couch dissapears and the rules are they can't say no

So bucky makes the reader call the pizza place but the reader tells him they'll only do it if he excepts that the last mission was his fault and then since he says that won't ever happen

The reader tells him to call the pizza place

"I want a cheezy pizza with extra cheese"

"Shut up"

Help me find it ahhh

11 notes - Posted February 13, 2022

#3

Student Of The Year Rewatch Thoughts? Idk reallly know what this is yet lmao

I hope this reaches my target audience

Firstly, it's been too long since I've rewatched this I used to watch it whenever it came on tv and I'd find it while surfing

Secondly, I still enjoy this movie I think lmao

Let's see

-okay so to start with the kukkad song

-I never realised that the lyric says " ainu vekhe de munde to kehnde Oh My God" I always thought it was kudiye both times

-kinda gay tbh jk jk

-Abhi is in the wrong tbh like this guy is parking a bike in a car park and then is like who said this is an entitled rich boy's parking LIKE WHY ITS A CAR PARK NOT A BIKE PARK

I STILL DONT KNOW HOW I HADN'T REALISED IT TILL NOW

-then he goes and ruins a beautiful Ferrari😭

-one big question I have is how can Abhi even have thee audacity to get into physical fights with rich boy on what seems to be his first day

-this man is here on a scholarship he can't afford to do all this on his first day bro

-I always loved Siddharth Malhotra more than Varun Dhawan while there were many dying over varun

-I remember the whole thing was just as big as Team Edward or Team Jacob here okay

-Rohan is too mean too Jeet

-ALSO why was even Shanaya still with Rohan like according to her first few lines he definately has a habit of flirting with other girls while he calls her his girlfriend LIKE GIRL YOU COULD DO BETTER

-Rohan's dad and brother are too mean yikes

-no wonder rohan hates his dad the way he does

-why is the dean so weirdly gay its too funny but at the same time CRINGE

-it's sad to see Rishi Kapoor now :(

-all the parents are so weird

-THE WHOLE CONVO ABOUT PUSHUP BRA AND FLIRTY DMS BETWEEN TANYA AND HER MOTHER DBCBFUFBGUEFGHFOIUHKEFJBSJK

-SHE SUGGESTS SURGERY?????!?!?!?!?

-Sumo is so sweet actually

-Dean massaging the coach 😭😭😭

-DID BOMAN IRANI JUST SPANK RISHI KAPOOR IN THE FLASHBACK SCENE WHAT IS HAPPENINGCJNUDKBKJ

-hes so gay its gay

-BIG FAT INDIAN WEDDING

-TOO BIG FAT MAN

See the full post

30 notes - Posted May 3, 2022

#2

HI

I lost this fic I was reading

Help

It was basically an Anthony Bridgerton x reader and the first half was just reader chatting with Colin Benedict and Eloise where Colin pulls the readers leg about being unmarried and the reader snips back and takes Eloise's hand

Uh she has a gossipy mother

The reader and Anthony share this passionate look and the reader goes to the lemonade stand to look around and spot Anthony but she doesn't find him instead this other guy I forgot his name shows up and starts talking to her she decides to ask him about his trip to Italy to keep him talking while she ignores him

Eventually Anthony takes her away from tha guy and they are in the garden and he's jealous and she teases him by asking him why he hasn't kissed her yet

AND THATS ALL I READ BEFORE TUMBLR RANDOMLY REFRESHED

SO HELP

40 notes - Posted April 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Okay so I went to the page cause someone said they missed the book sucking scene and others said thank god its not there

Bur anyway the whole kate having a horseback accident reminds me of this one x reader fanfiction I read here

It was the same basic plot but the reader and Anthony were married and she was going to look for Anthony himself

I'm assuming it was inspired by the books but I love this

60 notes - Posted March 26, 2022

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