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#I love the whole night parade aesthetic
doberbutts · 2 months
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Friendo and I have finished what's currently released of the Jujutsu Kaisen anime and I gotta say. Plot synopsis so far appears to be simply summed up with the sentence "I want that twink obliterated" referring to various characters throughout 2 entire seasons and a movie.
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raytorosaurus · 2 years
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Has literally anyone in the band ever said they dont like danger days?? I've seen some gatekeepers getting on their high horse about how they only played one dd song last night and how the "posers must be fuming" and one specific person tried to argue that the members don't like it. But I physically can't find any evidence of it beyond the tour being a generally shitty time for them?? If anything theres more evidence that they DO like it? Sorry if this is weird or pointless but I can't tell if this person has actual proof or are just pulling shit out of their ass because they don't like danger days lol
UGH. im on mobile rn so im not gonna link to specific interviews but they all love the album and talked a lot about how proud they were of it when it came out, and how writing it was actually a very fun and harmonious process. it was controversial in the fan base at the time of its release (partly because of the major aesthetic change the band underwent, partly bc it was pretty heavily advertised in a way some fans felt was disingenuous i guess) and it undersold the black parade, and then their world tour following it also didn't sell as well as expected. they even ran out of money to make the third mv they'd planned in the na na na/sing universe, so compared to the black parade it was technically a commercial failure. in hindsight, gerard especially has said that tour was a very bad time mentally. it was certainly hard for both him and frank to be away from their children. but they were never anything but proud of the album itself and made that clear in interviews. the only vague negativity from the band i can think of was when frank did a lengthy interview for...i believe ap? in late 2020, where he spoke about his whole career, and touched on the breakup of the band. he mentioned being disappointed that they didn't end up releasing the conventional weapons songs and said he thought in hindsight they should have worked on danger days for a little longer because some of the songs as they are feel slightly incomplete to him, and that was one of his only regrets relating to my chem. The ONLY other thing is an offhanded comment their producer, rob cavallo, made when speculating potential reasons for the breakup, when he said that maybe in hindsight he thought frank was struggling to find parts to play on danger days. but frank himself never confirmed that (he actually made a point of saying there was no tension between him and ray during dd), and in my opinion his guitar parts are much more interesting and less sparse on most danger days songs than they are on most conventional weapons songs, so i'd take it with a grain of salt. i think the gritty simplicity of cw is just kind of more to frank's taste than the more instrumentally conceptual sound of dd, so offhanded comments he's made about that have stuck in people's minds as negativity towards the album maybe.
i for one am very grateful we got to hear conventional weapons in the end because some of those songs are up there among my very favourite mcr songs, but im inclined to agree with what the band said over and over again at the time that scrapping cw as an album to release danger days instead was definitely the right choice. it sounds cliche to say but it was definitely a bit ahead of its time. if my chem had come back from the hiatus with an album that was just a collection of really good songs, and not an actual event with a concept and aesthetic and clear thematic thread, i think it would have been a disservice to the band's core mission statement, which was always to be subversive and unexpected, and to lean into the weird and take the risk even if it meant being misunderstood. conventional weapons is great, and it even kind of addresses some themes similar to danger days (dissolusionment with the state of the music industry, life in that side of LA etc) but it does it without any of the grandiose metaphor and pageantry and uniting aesthetic that's gerard's biggest strength and a huge appeal of the band, yk? anyway. it's fine to not love danger days of course, everyone has their opinions, but it annoys me to see people putting words in the band's mouth. "that was a bad time in our lives" =/= "we don't like that album we created together." also they've played sooo much dd at other shows...you don't see anyone going around saying they hate bullets when they've played entire shows this tour with zero bullets songs on them 🙄🙄
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anamelessfool · 6 months
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Pretty please pour us a glass of hot takes to get us through the cold night
Yay I hope you enjoyed your milk and cookies, nonny, thanks for visiting 💕
I want to preface a hot takes post with a clear mention that the goal of hot takes is to perhaps provide an insight or consideration the reader has never thought about before. Copia and the gang can (and should) be any way we want them to be-- he's our Ken after all. Take my take or leave it. Everything is valid.
Neglect =\= mean personality. I have a hard time understanding a cruel, actively mean Nihil. I find him sorta dopey and self-centered in a way that a dopey meathead can be. I think he loves his progeny a whole lot, he is just totally blind to everyone except himself. He doesn't really listen when they talk, or support them in emotional times. He's cheerful and paper thin. And in a lot of ways, I think having a parent like that is a whole lot worse. You can't fault them because they appear nice and supportive but are they really???? Haha buddy, I have no experience in having a parent like that, no sir!
Another consideration: all our blorbos are older, a lot older. Which is refreshing! And also means that they have had years of growth and setbacks. They've had several worst days and best days. They've overcome hardships and tried on multiple different ways of living. How would all of these eras affect them now? What lessons did they learn, or beliefs they've unlearned over the years? I'm not that old but I've reinvented myself several times. There's something at sixteen that I experienced that I thought was the end of the world, but I barely remember it now, and something that happened to me when I was six that was seared into my belief system forever. Some things stick and some things fade away. It's ok to have a character that has overcome things and years stand between that moment and now. I find it actually a lot more interesting to read a character like that. I encourage you to write a big backstory for Blorbo! Yes even if it's not canon!
And now ☕☕☕☕☕☕☕
My biggest hot take of them all is that I hate hate hate hate the steampunk top hat. Like aggressively. I see it and it ruins it for me! Steampunk in general I don't like at all, I find the aesthetic to be just that, all form but very little hint at function. But I will bite my tongue and be supportive of my husband in his little steampunk hat that he loves so very very much. I do not want to rain on his steampunk parade even though steampunk as an aesthetic was overdone by 2010
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easthavenhq · 1 year
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East Haven's 62nd Annual Spring Celebration
Welcome to East Haven's 62nd Annual Spring Celebration! Every year, locals and tourists from all around gather on Founder's Square to celebrate not only the beginning of spring, but spring break and Easter as well.
From April 1st until April 9th, the Square as well as Kinderlodge Park will be filled with vendors and activities for all ages to partake in and at the end of the week, the 22nd Annual Baking Competition will bring the whole thing to a close. Will Mrs. Clark win like the previous five years or will someone finally dethrone her? You'll have to stop in and see for yourself!
We're excited to bring you this beloved East Haven tradition and we hope to see you in the Square or even at the first baseball game of the season: Firefighters vs. Medical staff!
More information under the cut!
Welcome to our spring event! While the dates in game for the event is April 1st through April 9th, you will be able to write the event from April 1st through April 15th, giving you 2 full weeks of event fun! Normal threads do not have to be paused during this time, but we encourage new threads to be event related. However, we know a lot of plots are happening at this time so do not worry if you start one that is not event themed. Acceptances and activity checks will still be held as normal!
Also, I know we all love to post outfit aesthetics for our characters during events like this so I want to make note of the weather since it will be outside. While we do have a weather app on the main that is for the weather, we're going to have it be mostly sunny throughout the week with lows of in the 20s at nights and highs of mid 50s during the day (Fahrenheit temps). It is still cold up in Vermont so plan outfits accordingly.
Below, a list of vendors and other activities that will be going on throughout the week, but first to touch base on Founder's Square as it will be added as a location, but wanted to give information on it now before we add it.
Founder's Square is located outside of city hall downtown and is a block long where cars are not allowed on to drive as people walked it often to get to a few businesses located there, city hall, or even Kinderlodge Park. There is a parking lot for it nearby, but its a cobblestoned street filled with shops and flowers and resembling Church Street in Burlington, VT.
And now for information on the vendors! There will be a channel in our discord for you to put where your character is volunteering (they can also volunteer for the activities) if you would like them to be doing so. The vendors will be set up throughout Founder's Square in a flea market-esque style with a mix of options of things to sell from food, drinks, alcohol, handmade items, clothing, souvenirs, or anything relating to a business if they own it. Business owners can put what they are selling in the appropriate channel in the discord as well.
As for activities, here is a list of what will be going on during the week:
Spring Parade - To kick off the event, there will be a parade on April 1st on downtown! Starting at the end of Main Street and stopping right before Founder's Square, come watch the floats and be ready to catch some candy!
Baseball - the first community baseball game of the year will be held at East Haven High's baseball field. This year, it will be firefighters vs. medical staff. The game will take place Saturday, April 8th in game and we will pick the winner randomly. The results will be posted the evening of the 8th at 6pm PST.
Easter Egg Hunt - on the morning of April 8th, there will be an Easter Egg Hunt in Kinderlodge Park. The event will be broken up by ages with the first being kids 3 and under, 4-6 year olds, 7-9 year olds, and 9-11 year olds. The kids with the most eggs will win a big golden egg filled with candy! An adult egg hunt for ages 21+ and will be more difficult than the kids one. The three people with the most eggs will win a prize! You can volunteer for this in the discord server and winners will be picked at random and announced on April 8th. First place will get a night stay at The Wilson, second place gets a dinner for two at The DeLyle, and third place a $100 gift card!
Baking Contest - the baking contest will be held in the Square on Sunday, April 9th and anyone who would like to participate must submit images for their character's entries to the main by April 5th and we'll be doing a poll to determine the winners. Winners will be announced on April 9th and more information on prices will be posted April 1st.
Picnic in the Park - there will be many picnic areas set up in Kinderlodge Park for anyone to use. Bring your own picnic or purchase food from any of the vendors to eat on the blankets!
Match the Ducks - in a large water tube, there will be several floating rubber ducks with markings on the bottom. Find 5 matches and win a prize!
Balloon Popping - Throw a dart and pop the all the balloons within a minute! Pop 5, win a small prize, 10 for a medium prize, and all 15 for a big prize!
Knock Down the Bottle - You get three softballs to throw at a stack of bottles to try to knock them over! Get it once win a small prize, twice for a medium, and all three for a big prize!
Ring Toss - Get five rings around the bunny and you get a prize!
Egg Toss - Toss an egg back and forth with your partner without breaking the egg! Winners will get vouchers to local restaurants!
Photo Booth - With dress up items available, get your picture taken with whatever costume you want!
Egg Decorating
Petting Zoo
Face Painting
Flower Crown Crafting
Event starters and aesthetics should be tagged with #easthavenevent003. If you have any questions, feel free to message us!
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veeagainsttheday · 2 years
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url + songs
Thanks to the lovely @direwolf-summer who tagged me in this VERY fun excuse to go through my music library and experience the extremely pleasurable agony of having to listen to a bunch of great songs in order to narrow it down to just a few.
Vossi Bop - Stormzy - the pandemic took a lot of things from us, and one of those things was the tickets I had to see Stormzy at a relatively small venue in April 2020. Prepare for the emotional journey of hearing 'Fuck the government and fuck Boris' in July 2022 vs. when this song originally came out in 2019. Evil Eye - Franz Ferdinand - The scream at the beginning of this song followed by the guitar! Fuck!!!! Evil - Interpol - This song more than any other reminds me of London 2004 and that, as we didn't say in 2004, is a whole mood
Andalucia - Crooked Fingers - I love a good song about the Spanish Civil War (this one and Spanish Bombs by the Clash) Genghis Khan - Miike Snow - Iconic music video/gay love story All My Friends - LCD Soundsystem - I want this song played as either the last song at my funeral or my wedding, whichever comes first In the Aeroplane over the Sea - Neutral Milk Hotel - indie kids of the aughts go wild for this one and I'm no exception. I have a ritual of putting on a song for that magical moment on an airplane when it starts to accelerate down the runway and you feel the possibility of flight but the engines are still straining to break free from the bounds of the earth and it is this song almost every time. Neighborhood #2 (Laika) - Arcade Fire - the song I have played most ever according to last.fm and yeah that checks out. Reference Laika and maybe Alexander the Great and I'm there. So Desu Ne - FFS (Franz Ferdinand + Sparks) - my fav track from one of my fav albums, it's just so much fun! FFS was the best live show I've ever seen. This Heart's on Fire - Wolf Parade - will sing this at the top of my lungs while pumping my fist with a moment's notice because I'm an incurable romantic and sometimes we rock n roll, sometimes we stay at home, and that's all right.
Tokyo Drifting - Glass Animals ft. Denzel Curry - this track feels like one of those long, hot summer nights where you're on a series of adventures with someone you have a desperate but undefined crush on, wandering through a city and seeing it in a whole new light. Humble - Kendrick Lamar - If I ever need to hype myself up, this song is the first one I'm playing, just walking around town whispering, "Bitch, be humble" to myself; plus I love Kendrick's stated desire to see an ass with some stretch marks cause boy same. Evil Has Never - Union of Knives - I have never heard another song by this band but I am OBSESSED with this one.
Death of the King - The Anniversary - D was the toughest choice I had; there were probably 20 songs I could have put here, but this song was the most epic of them all; I want to see a Hamlet-level dramatic production based on it. Atomic Number - Neko Case, k.d. lang, Laura Veirs - like every queer woman on earth I love this album and especially this track. The layering of their perfect voices!!!! Yoga - Janelle Monae ft. Jidenna - this song is the bisexual dream, both people involved are incredibly hot and it's sexy as hell.
Tagging some people who I'd love to know better! @durrelist @unwholesome-gay @lordrochestersmonkey @missmagoo18 @rubyroseoflyoko @assorted-aesthetics
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~Metal Family headcanons~
These are like my... general hcs)? which means I didn't include my main hc that Glam, Ches and Vicky are polyamorous, married and started dating after Glam met Vicky, and absolutely everything that implies for the kids and the relationships between each member of the fam. Maybe I'll make a separate post for that or maybe not! Who knows lkfwnlfqnf
Glam
Bisexual
Glam has constant nightmares and ocasional night terrors ever since he ran away home and is an active sleep walker. Ches helped him through the worse ones when they were younger, and learned how to deal with them, always preferring not to wake him up but being with him until the episode passed. Vicky has learned how to deal with them, though she normally asks Ches for advice with it cuz she comes out short sometimes.
He has PTSD. I bet it's diagnosed too, he takes medication and goes to therapy, it doesn't mean he still doesn't have his bad days anyway. He's trying to get better.
Glam has talked to Vicky about his past, his father and his family. This is a direct contradiction of Alina's confirmation that Glam doesn't talk about it with anyone but man FUCK THAT. We love good communication in this house, Vicky tries her best to help him, but there's only so much she can do to help.
Glam enjoys gardening, cooking and making models, he also likes doing his make up, painting his nails and dressing up in fancy, extravagant clothes even if he has nowhere important to go.
He likes taking care of everyone's hair, and constantly helps Vicky brush her hair cuz there's so much of it, Dee when he gets stressed over how tangled it can get, buys Ches hair products so he actually takes care of it, and chases Heavy so the kid actually washes, untangles and brushes his hair.
This one is kind of weird, but I refuse to think any adult in the family is unarmed at any time. Glam owns a taser and pepper spray. They're bright pink and sparkly.
This man cried his eyes out while watching Coco. He's hell to watch movies with cuz he talks and predicts what's gonna happen during the movie, judges them with scores at the end and all.
Vicky
Also bisexual!
Vicky's the one who does everyone's laundry most of the time. She prefers it that way since she's the only one that knows how to wash their black clothes so the colors stay vibrant. (This is based on my gf shaming everyone but Vicky cuz their black clothes always look so muted and almost gray, but Vicky's whole outfit is always the same vibrant black colors, so we decided that neither Glam or the kids know how to wash dark clothes)
She has anger issues, if it isn't obvious. I think she also has PTSD, mainly survivor's guilt due to her surviving the accident her brother died in. She blames herself and cannot bear to talk about it, in some sort of deep denial. If she can't remember, it can't hurt as much, right?
She has scars on the right side of her back and her hip, from the road rash she got on her brother's accident, she never treated it due to grief and it scarred badly. Apart from that, the scar of the caesarean section from Heavy's birth. She doesn't really mind both of them, they happened, nothing to do about them.
She likes watching boxing competitions, brawling matches and motorcycle repairing on TV. Loves doing BBQ's and going to the pool. Also an enjoyer of teasing her kids, kissing and loving her husband at random times, spending time drinking and bonding with Ches and bragging about her family and punching anyone who thinks they're not that cool.
Not particularly a fan of make up, skirts and dresses or any traditionally femenine-perceived stuff. But has been making exceptions due to Glam and Ches being unashamed of being seen as femenine, and actually rocking the looks. The internalized misogyny is kind of slowly dissapearing.
Apart from the guns she carries in each arm (I mean her biceps, have you looked at the size of those?? She strong) she has brass knuckles on her at all times. Glam gifts her new ones sometimes, she loves having multiple choices to punch people teeth in.
Loves horror, thrillers and action movies. Falls asleep during rom-coms and dramas. Ironically, loves gossip and talking shit about people. Enjoys hearing Ches talks about the gossip going on in the nursery home even if she doesn't know who the hell he's talking about.
Rest of the family under the cut!
Heavy
Heavy is a trans boy! He doesn't know his sexuality yet though, he's still figuring himself out. When he's older, i think he definitely dated some men but had better luck with girls.
Heavy has had innocent crushes on some girls on his class before, but they never turn into anything more cuz he's not the best at expressing himself. He follows the bother-the-girl-to-death-until-she-hates-you gimmick, and unsurprisingly, it doesn't work.
I'm sorry to break this to u but Heavy totally had an among us phase, and uses so much reddit and twitch slang... You know he does.
Likes bullying and teasing his brother to death. You know that when Dee had his first romance, Heavy was ALL up in his business being a tease and a bad attempt at a wingman. He means well tho.
He's not squeamish at all. Also has great pain resistance. This kid has picked cockroaches with his bare hands and loves cats, of course the cats have scratched him. He's tough!
Grows up to be the charming himbo he was always destined to be.
Dee
I hc him as demisexual. Kind of inherited his dad's tastes for the takes no crap, intimidating but pretty kind of people.
Can't cook. He tries but he can only do basics like rice, cereal, chicken nuggets or eggs. Complicated meals always burn or don't taste like anything at all. It drives him crazy.
Dee was a quiet and very well behaved toddler before Heavy was born. He never threw tantrums or got whims. After Heavy was born though, and despite the fact he understood his brother was small and needed special care, he started craving attention often and cried and got mad at little things. Typical jealousy of the oldest sibling.
The first time Dee fell in love with someone, he didn't recognize it was love at first. He just thought his interest on the person was born out of curiosity and aesthetic attraction, but as soon as he realized he seeked validation and companionship, that he liked seeing them smile, that he wanted to protect them, that he yearned for more time alone with them and that he wanted more than what just a simple friendship implied, it was an instant 'oh hell no'. He wanted those feelings to get the hell away, but unfortunately, they were there to stay.
Canonically likes MLP, psychological and horror anime like Death note and Hellsing, so I'm deciding he also watched Death Parade, had a FNAF phase, is very into The Walten Files. This guy enjoys any kind of specially dark ARG's and knows a ton of lore of real crime, unsolved cases, ghost appearances and other stuff. Doesn't believe in the supernatural, but sure is entertained by it.
He's a mess at romance. Flirting? His attempts at compliments are hardly flattering. Giving gifts? The best he can manage is jewelry and you can kind of tell he asked his dad for help. Dates? He's so nervous he's silent for most of it, but begins getting comfortable and having fun if his partner really knows how to get him down from his negativity cloud.
Ches
Pansexual.
He's very good with kids. He has the patience of a saint and he's laid-back, chill and fun but still is an authority figure who knows how to put limits. Sure, he's gonna let the kids light up a house on fire BUT hey, now they know everything about fire precautions, burns and how to treat them AND how to get away with arson. What an educational evening, am I right?
Due to certain info from the "Goodbye" official comic, I headcanon Ches as depressed. I don't want to elaborate a lot 'cuz of spoilers, but... God, everything related to his mom fucking hurts, man. How did he deal with all that?
Ches has been Dee and Heavy's babysitter so many times he cannot count them with all his fingers. He learned how to put those kids to sleep almost immediately (Sing Bon Jovi's "This ain't a love song" and any cheesy love song in a slow lullaby style and they're out), which movie were their favorite as kids (Heavy loved 'Monsters Inc.' and Dee never looked away during 'Meet the Robinsons'), how to console them after nightmares (Heavy needed reassurance, sweet words, and to be with someone until he fell asleep again. Dee just had to be tucked in, get his nightlight turned on and kissed in the forehead). He practically raised those kids along with Vicky and Glam.
More than once, Dee and Heavy have slipped and called Ches "Dad". Ches immediately gets his shit eating grin on and answers "Yes, son?" and does a couple of dad jokes just to mess and embarrass them. He's actually very flattered and surprised at how proud of himself he is for being a father figure to both kids.
Has a scar on the left side of his forehead due to a bottle his mom threw at him when he was younger, around the time he met Glam. He hates the scar with passion, it's a permanent reminder of the fact she never cared, that's why he always keeps it covered with his headband. Gets sad about it sometimes.
Ches likes to spend his time with a group of grannies of the nearby nursing home. He genuinely considers them his friends and gossips and hangs out with all of them on weekends. Bingo, billiards, walks in the park, soap opera marathons, you name it. I even designed them, gave them names and backstories... God, i just love the concept too much. I'll make some art about Ches and his granny gang FOR SURE, you're NOT ready for them.
Carries a pocket knife on him at all times. This man grew up on a bad neighborhood and absolutely knows how to defend himself, he can be intimidating when he wants to be and will pose a threat if needed. He's fucking terrifying when genuinely mad. Just cause he looks harmless doesn't mean he is, darling.
That would be all!
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smediumsmeatbae · 3 years
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Quiet and Sacred
PAIRING: Chris Evans X Reader
SUMMARY: It's a quiet night at the Evans house.
WORDS: 509
WARNINGS: mentions of sexual situations, not really smut but a bit smutty. Like... Smut lite? 18+ just to be sure. It's mostly just fluff though because that's my aesthetic. 😁
A/N: This little drabble has been floating around in my WIPs pile for a while so I thought I'd finish it and share it with you fine people. :)
As always, please do not share this work outside of Tumblr without my express written permission. 
Likes are amazing. Comments and reblogs are better. (And keeps content fresh!)
Masterlist
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It's quiet in your house. Moon rays soaking the bed sheets surrounding you, a lazy arm placed on his abdomen. You feel the steady thrumming of his heartbeat next to your ears, the rise and fall of his chest setting a rhythmic pattern of sleepiness that makes your body relax against him. He feels like home. 
Halfway dozed, your head on his chest, taking in the faint scent of lime and cedarwood from an earlier shower, he draws lazy patterns on your shoulder as he reads the news on his phone. These hushed nights - after a long day of packed schedules, of driving or flying or pulling or parading or being directed or walking to a pre-planned destination, after scarfing meals in the car in between places because he "can't be late to the next interview" - these nights are sacred, a time when you can both power down and hear nothing. Do nothing. They are like a prize at the end of a marathon. 
Of course, this wasn't always the ending to a night that happened. Sometimes, when Chris was away at a shoot, or on business because of ASP, or any of the other hundreds of things he was responsible for, he had a hard time winding down and just being. In those moments, he would call you, and either you or he would fall asleep, listening to the rhythm of your voices.
You shift a little in his embrace, curling your leg around his. A contented sigh leaves your lips, happy that your love is back for the time being. His hair is longer this time, still messy damp from showering and not being bothered to comb it. Earlier, you had loved the feeling of it between your fingers as you pulled on it just a bit, a moan caught in his throat as he was worshipping your breasts, making up for lost time. Lips met with tongues and shallow pants. Squeezed your hips so tight, you knew there'd be bruising in the morning. Rocking harder and deeper into each other until you were chanting his name like a prayer, one that had been silent for too long. 
Satiated and sleepy, you hug yourself to him; he lands a kiss on top of your head. Putting his phone on the table next to him, he rolls until you are under him, arms around your head and caging you in. Leaning down, he kisses you slowly and softly as if he wants to remember this moment. To be present.  
"I love you, sweet girl." He whispers in your ear, making you feel so protected and whole. 
"I love you too, Chris."
You nuzzle his nose and take one last drink of his lips before you both settle into each other. His arm curls around your waist and pulls you back into his chest. You can feel the warmth from his mouth as his lips settle in your hair. A contented sigh rolls from you both as eyes close. You fall asleep to the calm rhythm of his breath. 
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TAG LIST:
@angrythingstarlight
@cheeseburgersstuff
@chrissquares
@denisemarieangelina
@t-stark35
@starlightcrystalline
If you would like to be added or removed from my taglist, please feel free to shoot me an ask or DM. 
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obsessedwvampbois · 3 years
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𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐋 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬
Oh boy so this is gonna make people really mad. I have listened to a total of 52 songs from the Diabolik Lovers franchise (that I could find) and ranked them for the hell of it. For this ranking I will be including all character songs, openings (both anime and game) along with the remixes. I will not be counting solo versions of songs (eg. Gin no bara), soundtrack bgm or the endings themes.
My ranking is based on these things:
how well does the song fit the character/s or game, both in lyrics and aesthetic
the overall production and performance of the song
is the song a bop? would I willingly listen to it again?
Couple of disclaimers: I do not speak Japanese so I will be crediting the translations of each song as I go through them along with any think pieces / essays that I come across. If there is any song I missed, please let me know and I’ll slot it into the rankings, its hard to find one source that has all the songs recorded. Finally, just a reminder because I know I'm gonna make someone mad, this is my list! If you don't like it make your own or ignore mine, I'm only one person and my opinion is not final!
With that in mind, my rankings are below the cut
*Least Best*
These are the songs I will probably never listen to again. I have a few gripes with them that I'll talk about in my explanation.
52. 誓いのカンパネラ (Chikai no Campanella)
Shu, Ayato & Subaru
~translation~
This song is just super underwhelming overall. The guitar is my favourite thing about the song but that's it. There is so much build up for a boring chorus. The lyrics don't have much for me either.
51. 血戦のDies irae (Kessen no Dies irae)
Tsukinami Brothers
~translation~
On the opposite end, this song is so overwhelming. There are so many elements to follow and its hard to keep up. This is the first time I'll bring it up but the volume of the voices is so quiet compared to the backing track, its frustrating. The lyrics is what brings it up a notch as it talks about the day of wrath (dies irae) as the day the founders take over. I was also low key hoping to hear some version of the dies irae song hidden in the background but I couldn't hear any.
50. S.O.S-ΑtoΩ-
Tsukinami Brothers
~translation~
This song just feels so forgettable, I just feel like there isn't much to comment on. There are some interesting lyrics sprinkled out like comparing literal self mutilation to abstinence. Also the actual delivery of 'S ah O ah S ah', I can't take it seriously.
49. Dystopia
Kino
~translation~
This had an interesting start because I hadn't heard anything similar for DL but then after a few lines the tone change was just a nope for me. Again, Kino's voice is super quiet and the constant barrage of all these instruments that don't really gel together its confusing. Overall, it didn't leave much of an impression and I couldn't really visualised DL in the song.
48. 吸愛ラビリンス (Kyūai Labyrinth)
Shu, Ayato & Subaru
~translation~
Praise for the saxophone! Props to that because it shines here and is really the only memorable thing besides that final line of the chorus. The song does give the vibe of the Vandead Carnival with its more playful energy though. The lyrics feel really typical, like there are so many times I read lyrics about drinking blood before I get bored.
47. 極限(UNLIMITED) BLOOD -Remix ver.-
Shu, Ayato & Subaru
~translation w/ original ver.~
I don't think I really need to hear EDM/dubstep and Diabolik Lovers again thanks. It feels super dated and the vocoded singing is a little much for my taste. Good source material and the stripped back vocals at some points is quite nice.
46. 愛しきPain (Itoshiki Pein)
Subaru
~translation~
First off please never let me see Subaru near a fedora again thanks. Overall I felt bored with this song, like its nice, but that it. There are similar sounding songs that just hit home similar themes a lot stronger later on. The best part of this song is the spoken word but it feels weird for Subaru to be singing such a slow song.
45. Luv Apple Juice
Ruki & Azusa
~translation~
Yes, I am counting Ruki's spoken word, its my list. Lyrics are a must read with references to Adam, Eve and Eden throughout. Again, the voices are super quiet and with how fast paced the instrumentals are its annoying. The tempo also backfires because these are two of the more 'chill' characters. The last complaint is that the speed of Ruki's speaking compared to Azusa's singing just isn't right.
44. DIE IS CAST
Kou & Yuma
~translation~
This has to be my least favourite opening to a song, the staccato is just really grating to me. The way I'd describe the chorus is loud, the same note over and over again isn't appealing. The lyrics are an interesting read but nothing feels super important. The highlight of the song is the pre-chorus, thanks production!
43. カレイドナイト (Kaleido Night)
Kanato & Subaru
~translation~
This song is just generic, like overall. The sound, the lyrics, the production. There just wasn't must for me to listen to without zoning out.
*Average*
These songs don't leave too much of a lasting impression on me, but I still enjoy them.
42. 苺の罪 (Ichigo no Tsumi) (strawberry sin)
Reiji
~translation~
First of the generic rock songs! I couldn't really find much in the lyrics of note I think the actual performance of the song is my favourite element here.
41. 真夜中の饗宴( MIDNIGHT PLEASURE) -Remix ver.
Shu, Ayato & Subaru
~translation w/ original~
One the best part of the original is that opening section with the steps, it creates some nice anticipation for the coming song. The chorus this time round feels a little low energy after the hype of the pre-chorus. After watching the actual opening with the remix, I kind of wish they had the voice over, the song is so chill the last chorus could have it to make it feel more grandiose.
40. ZERO
Subaru
~translation~
Second generic rock song, this time it actually suits Subaru's brand! The lyrics do have some hints to Subaru as a character which is better. My sustaining thought is that this sounds like an off brand Arcadia.
39. Bloody★Mayim★Mayim
Sakamaki Brothers
~translation~
This has to have one of the strongest hooks for DL. For how many people sing in the song, it's easy to keep track of and the chemistry between them all is in sync. The main issue is that it feels like its missing some element to make it shine, the lyrics aren't in-depth too which brings it down another peg. The bridge/interlude is the best part though as I can visualise some mini story within the song here.
38. ADDICTED (2) PHANTOM
Ayato
~translation~
This song would be so much higher if I felt like it was more memorable cuz the lyrics here really shine. My interpretation is that this is Ayato questioning where his love stops and his sadistic nature to satiate his desires begin, can he separate the two? He both loves and despises the idea of draining his s/o dry. Another gripe with the song is that its not quite Ayato's aesthetic sonically.
37. Kindan no 666 (Three Six)
Kou & Azusa
~translation~
What puts this song so low is the majority of the instrumental, it takes a backseat here when I feel there could be more added. Props to percussion, drums are great though. After watching the MB opening so many times its hard to not see DL. Lyrics match with this one line here describing Kou in a nutshell:
"Sin spread from mouth to mouth, saying 'I’ll be gentle' pulls the trigger on a casual disaster!"
36. Iolite (アイオライト )
Shu
~translation~
I don't know why the producers associate electro-pop with Shu, I can't really see it much. I think they should have gone full glitch-pop instead considering how the song does a deep dive into his mind and thought process. Again, I think the voice is also quiet here but the instrumentals have some great moments, especially the strings.
35. 常夜KNOW UNDERSKIN
Sakamaki
~translation~
Well this gives Sakamaki vibes, nice guitar! Again, I like how it isn't overwhelming despite the amount of people involved. Lyrics aren't super impactful but super catchy.
34. 冷たい血 (Tsumetai Chi)
Ruki
~translation~
You have to read the lyrics while reading this, please! Its surprisingly wholesome and emotional overall. Again, there is the issue of the voice being way to quiet as the instrumentals swallow him whole after the second clock tick. The delivery is really well timed and production does a great job adding elements that works with the lyrics. There is a subtle echo to the voice that feels super enchanting as he comes to terms with the fact that he has fallen in love. Biggest drawback obviously is that this is just spoken word.
33. KISS♥MARK
Shu
~translation~
This song delves into the more perverse side of Shu, but we haven't really reached the level of Laito (we'll get there). The phone feels a little out of character but it suits that narrative. The straight cut out of music for the intermission was a bit abrasive but the transition back to music makes me forget about that with how slick it is. At least its better than a generic rock song.
32. カモフラージュ (Camouflage)
Shu & Laito
~translation~
What a great match up for subject matter, my interpretation is a denial and inability to accept oneself, ultimately using a mask to hide. So please look up the lyrics for some gems. However, after the 'against the blood' nothing really hit that same point sonically, furthermore its not the most aesthetically fitting for the two characters.
*Great*
These songs I actively enjoy, think about and do listen to occasionally and would recommend you check it out too.
31. >REDRUM<-
Ayato & Subaru
~translation~
This song is full of anagrams in the lyrics, I mean look at the song title. Its super catchy and is hard to forget about. The bridge is the weakest part of this song but it is made up by the distortion of vocals after the final chorus.
30. Fanatic of Night
Sakamaki Brothers
~translation~
Well time to party, talk about a bop and a half! Its just so fun, even though its to exactly DL to me, but that's Lunatic Parade for you. Shout out to the guitarist and percussion once again.
29. Bad Howling
Shu, Ayato & Kou
~translation~
This is super catchy, its nice to hear Kou in the opening song this time round, it spices things up. Theres some really nice elements played with the vocals as they sing over one another that is really well balanced. The biggest peg down is that I don't get super DL vibes and the lyrics aren't the deepest.
28. I.M.I.T.A.T.I.O.N. G.A.M.E
Kino
~translation~
Overall this song is a little generic and doesn't sound like DL but! There is a lot to love here too. Starting off with the performance, I really like the vibrato in his voice and the decent of notes at the end of the chorus is just, yes. It a nice hook and the lyrics are pretty good too. My only other complaint is that the drums mask some smaller elements in the background of the song which would have been nice to hear more in the forefront.
27. 極限(UNLIMITED) BLOOD
Shu, Ayato & Subaru
~translation~
This is where the rankings get pretty hard cuz I wish this was higher but oh well. the dramatic shift from the opening piano to the song is so abrupt but it gets you pumped. The intermission does a good job of changing things up without cutting tension. The lyrics themselves seem to be from the view of the Adam project during more blood and the unquenchable thirst they get in the story.
26. アルカディア (Arcadia)
Ayato
~translation~
Immediately I get Ayato vibes from this song and the rapping does help too with a nice flow that isn't too jarring from the rest of the song. These lyrics are basically Addicted2Phantom on steroids, I can't see anyone else other than Ayato in them.
25. Kekkyoku Night
Ayato
~translation~
Don't know why but the guitar melody just seems like I had heard it before but I can't put my finger on it. The bass is super slick here and I really enjoy it. The vocal distortion at the start of the verse sets a scene for him to hunt down this person and its a narrative choice. The main issue is that I wish there was a little more pizzaz to the chorus.
24. Kaikan DEATH-TRUCTION
Kanato
~translation~
Spoilers but I have placed both a Kanato's songs pretty high up so this was a little bit of a let down after the other two. The main issues here is that I don't really get too much of Kanato in the song and the yelling before the chorus is a little much. This, to me, is a self reflection from Kanato which is a good switch up from his last two songs. Overall, the song is abrasive in a good way that isn't overwhelming and the 8-bit section is my fave.
23. 血濡れた密会 (BLOODY SABBATH)
Laito
~translation~
Oh boy, look these lyrics up for a good time. This song is about his hook up with a women with the song getting progressively darker as it goes on. Nice psycho reference but I don't know if it does much in the end. Really catchy hook and the escalation of the final chorus is just so good. Also I'm just going to leave this line from the song here:
“You wend all out with the rodeo girl play? So then, let’s grind!!!”
22. 幻日理論-Parhelion Logic
Ayato
~translation~
This song is meant to be kind of an open letter to Cordelia and my word these lyrics are haunting. It fits the vibe of Haunted Dark Bridal so well, super strong overall. I just wish there was a stronger performance vocally.
21. 暴言シンドローム (Seiron Syndrome)
Yuma
~translation~
Yuma, to me has some pretty good observation skills and its really highlighted here. The first line just hits the nail on the head in terms of how rough he is both in and out of the bedroom. This song is the best of the 'generic rock' with production being really smooth despite the high energy, it matches him really well. First line:
The pain of your sprained neck won’t subside
20. 蠱惑のParade (Kowaku no Parade)
Reiji & Kanato
~translation~
We got another catchy banger here! This song just screams 'the two of us are here to hunt you down and we won't stop till we get a taste.' I mean this song is super pleasing aesthetically and great lyrics to boot!
19. KILLYOU,AGAIN
Azusa
~translation~
The strings are an immediate attention grabber and its hold it throughout the whole song. Super catchy, and these lyrics are Azusa, especially this chorus. Id be interested to hear what people think about the second verse in particular cuz there's a lot to read into:
"In a worn out state of mind, no matter how many nights we question it... We’ve idealised too much."
18. SQueeze…
Subaru
~translation~
Okay before anything else, the squeeze at the start is goofy, I can't take it seriously. Anyway, I can't help but tap my foot to this song. Third times the charm, finally hitting Subaru's aesthetic to a T. The voice is a little quiet on the track but what takes over just sounds so good. The contrast of the bell and the guitar is just, yes thank you. The pre-chorus is a nice mix up to the status quo and these lyrics are great too.
17. 愛の檻 (Ai no Ori)
Ayato & Laito
~translation~
The opening is a nice tone setter for a haunting head bopper. These voices work together so well, just like how the sirens work with the strings. The singular violin during the bridge is great, praise to anyone who can do that my god. The string motif climaxes at the final chorus and it creates an awesome song!
16. 月蝕(Eclipse)
Kou, Yuma & Azusa
~translation~
Well we have a nice build up ballad here. The opening is a little out of place but I forget about it as it builds to this final chorus with the tempo getting faster and faster. The stripped back production also ends up aiding the song in the end with its punches and message. Speaking of which; I get the idea this is about watching some either currently or in retrospective how their personality changes after turning into a vampire; a loss of innocence. How fitting for the Mukami's.
“Despising the sunlight that filters through the blinds is only inevitable, I suppose”
*Faves*
This is what I think the best of the best is. It reflects the themes, ideas and characters of Diabolik Lovers in the best way possible. When people ask me what music from the franchise to listen to, I point to these songs.
15. Count off
Kino
~translation~
There is so much to talk about here, this is a mix of singing and spoken piece and it works so well for me. The delivery over this contagious beat I can't help but get hints of a k-pop vibe here. The movement to singing then vocoded voice are interesting and fun. The bridge switch up too is great, my only wish is that the choir hand a little more presence in the final chorus cuz its fun the first times round, it would be a nice call back.
14. A Certain Prophet's Fate [とある預言者の、運命 Toaru Yogensha no Unmei]
Reiji
~translation~
I can visualise a Nutella Kookie moodboard with this opening alone. To me, this is Reiji explain his views on women with allusions to Faust too, not the Ikemen version relax. there are some cool allusions to his mother in the lyrics too. The bass is so cool to listen out for and the guitar nodding to the chorus at the end is a nice way to end. I was just hoping for a little continuation to the opening like Reiji finding this person escaping on horseback.
13. CHAOS☆PARTY
Laito
~translation~
Aaaaaand another innuendo song from Laito, what a surprise! The jazzy, circus-pop vibes are super fun and catchy, I love it. It's like an upgraded version of Bloody Sabbath to me. The distortion on the guitar is also great to listen out for.
"Don’t decide where’s the critical point, grind as you feel it,
Till the moon oh, mockingly"
12. Mr.ButterflyMask
Reiji
~translation~
The opening may be cliche but it works so well, this is such a deep dive into Reiji's psyche; his mother, inferiority complex and village burning to name a few. The actual song is easy to remember which makes it even better here, the descending notes at the end of the chorus is a highlight.
"Burnt black, that awful land mark"
11. 真夜中の饗宴 (MIDNIGHT PLEASURE)
Shu, Ayato & Subaru
~translation~
The song to start it all, thank god it's such a highlight. I get so hyped from hearing the opening footsteps; mirroring the prologue with You stepping into the mansion for the first time. I feel so nostalgic for this and I'm hyped to play the game every time I hear this. The spoken section is the high point in terms of the HDB aesthetic but these lyrics maaaannn:
"With a scream that shatters the moon itself I’ll give you this extraordinary pain called “love”!"
10. Guilty×Guilty!!!
Shu, Ayato & Subaru
~translation~
I'm gonna get crucified for putting this above midnight pleasure but my list and this is my fave game op. The only peg down is the lyrics but it makes up so much for the actual sound variation. The unnerving energy from this scifi-y noise, it screams danger with the Tsunami arrival. The variation between the two verses in robs what places it high and the bridge is excellent to boot.
9. Farewell Song
Shu
~translation~
If I had to make one song recommendation outside of DL with this list it is this song here. The lyrics and melody match up the same way and both are strong in their own right. Onto the song, these lyrics really shine wrangling with ideas and the thought process of depression; something that hits close to home for me. With the inclusion of the destructive nature vampires its truely impactful. The sound of the song aids these lyrics too while all sounding like Shu.
Without pause, the drops of a drizzle had begun to weep...
...Comforting the screams of the things you’ve touched"
8. Mr.SADISTIC NIGHT
Shu, Ayato & Subaru
~translation~
This is my favourite opening of all the games and anime and it is the most on theme with the DL franchise, not just the one game. The guitar rifts at the start are just sooooo iconic. The actual line "Mr Sadistic Night" is delivered so well too. I mean the song speaks for itself. I will make the observation though that this song is the epitome of kids unknowingly singing a song with dirty lyrics.
"If I’m so aroused by the snare of your enticing blood
Tonight, as I thrust deep into you, a lust for death awakens from within you!"
7. 悪魔的(Devil's)Spire!!!!
Kou
~translation~
This song is just Kou at his best, I can imagine him singing this at a concert as a debut single. It has all the elements of a catchy pop song with some sinister elements that just reflects his personality. Production has my praise here too. The song seems to be a friends with benefits situation Kou has as he recounts the tale. Also, more innuendos:
"In the deep red velvet sheets, Do you want to taste my forbidden syrup?"
6. Operation X
Tsukinami Brothers
~translation~
Haven't seen these guys in a while! You can tell production had fun adding all these medical sounds in the back like the sirens and heart monitor. The song itself is super catchy too, that bass just hits you at the core! The lyrics look like the Tsukinami's observation of You as she has become entangled with all these vampires and the situation just seems to spiral even more out of control.
"The risk spreads further the deeper you get involved...
...The more you give up, the more that guy mocks you"
5. GRATEFUL★DEAD★MARCH
Kanato
~translation~
Production had fun again, you can tell. It's more upbeat there is still a sinister vibe here. The constant switch ups within the song all flow so well. I feel genuine despair listening to this chorus, like Kanato is mocking or toying with me before going in for the kill. My only complaint is that the slowing down at the end is a bit of a mood killer.
4. 切断★舞踏会 (KIRISAKI CARNIVAL)
Kanato
~translation~
In terms of character aesthetic, this is sheer perfection. There is a narrative within this song that you need to look at the lyrics for the best experience. The sound effects act as a good way to heighten the story as they match the lyrics. One moment to note it both the chorus and pre-chorus as they act as the extreme ends on Kanato's personality and it creates a great dichotomy when placed together.
3. Q.E.D.
laito
~translation~
My favourite solo song, and the one I constantly visit the most. Laito is a complex character and this song does a self reflection in the best way possible.I would also recommend reading this great analysis by everything laito because I can't do a proper analysis justice. For the song itself, the piano is a great mood setter as it acts as if we are approaching Laito as he plays the piano about to go into one of his many monologues to himself. The intercut from the piano to the guitar is abrupt but it works so well as if there are crack in his facade showing through. The change back to the piano is great too and isn't distracting in any way. I also think this is such an emotional performance, like I can feel the sadness and despair along with almost a self deprecating humour to the delivery. Top notch stuff
2. 罠-If You’re Diablo- (Wana -If You’re Diablo-)
Mukami Brothers
~translation~
I want mention first off that the spoken word from Ruki is such an aid here, the pace is slower, more haunting and despair-inducing in tone. The speaking adds a nice break to the vocals. The chorus in particular packs such a punch its kind of nice to lie on the ground and just let the song envelop you. The lyrics give the impression that there is a mutually destructive relationship here with the Mukami's mentioning of betrayal yet they suck the blood of this person. There is also a feeling of hopelessness that the Mukami's know they can never achieve their goal of becoming Adam.
"I'd been resigned to become Adam since who-knows-when...
I continue to hate this fate, my prayers in zero"
1. Gin no Bara
Sakamaki Brothers
~translation~
And we're finally at the end! This song encapsulates everything that Diabolik Lovers is. Vocally, it's really catchy with such a somber vibe, because that's what DL is. It's a dark series but you can see that darkness with each backstory, the actions these characters take and just the overall hopelessness in this one song. The Sakamaki's all singing together packs such a punch too. There are so many gems in these lyrics, to literally acknowledging the pain and suffering their mothers' caused and coming to terms with the actions they have committed as they fall in love.
"The proof remains on your neck while you sleep quietly Even if an eternal curse awaits me beyond those overflowing tears
I now hold this love and pain in my chest"
*SHOUTOUTS*
I want to give a huge shout out to the following people. They have helped immensely with translation and just overall accessibility to the songs because they would be 1000 times more harder to find without them.
Silvermoon249 (Live Journal)
Asyqin98 Creator (YouTube)
S I s o v o l i (Youtube)
DIABOLIK LOVERS (YouTube)
Dialovers otaka (Tumblr)
Starlight voices (Tumblr)
Cannonette (Tumblr) @canonette
The Precious Sugar Chan (Tumblr)
One final note, I would recommend listening to these with headphones because the audio sometimes does that thing where it jumps from ear to ear and it creates the best effect to be more involved in the atmosphere.
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ariel-seagull-wings · 2 years
Text
PERFECTION IN INFIDELITY
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@giuliettaluce @ardenrosegarden
"If William Shakespeare had been born in the countryside of Minas Gerais its quite possible that his "Romeo and Juliet" would come out just as Grupo Galpão presented it this weekend in the Praça do Espaço Cultural dos Correios, in the show conceived and directed by Gabriel Villela, who himself overflows with Minas Gerais's excence.
Of course, this staging is not a purist reading of Shakespeare's text, but it's great to see a montage in which the -say- infidelities are not the result of presumption, of wanting to be better than Shakespeare, but just a loving game in which the music, colour, plastic ingenuity and even childhood games like the "pernas de pau" are summoned to present to the public (who may not have any preparation as a theater spectator) the tragic story of the lovers of Verona.
The atmosphere is reminiscent, in many ways, of the group of artisans who present their play at the wedding of Theseus and Hippolyta in "A Midsummer Night's Dream", because Villela managed, with his conception of the show and the line given to the actors, to make the Grupo Galpão, which has been in existence for ten years and has had several history shows, manage to suggest exactly what Shakespeare expected his actors to do with the tragicomedy of "Piramus and Thisbe": to give us, with their competence and talent, the image of a inexperienced and untalented group that fights heroically to do the best they can.
In the case of this Romeo and Juliet, the entrance and exit parades immediately create the impression of a traveling troupe.
The scenography by Gabriel Villela himself - a large circle within which, just above the center, a funeral limousine, which has beside it or attached to it several planes and access routes to the platform that is on the roof of the car, serves as the main "stage" (apart from the plaza floor, of course) - suggests that the group must not be tied to any single location.
A group of mummers is also suggested by Luciana Buarque's excellent but appallingly poor costumes, which go well with the modesty of artificial flowers in vases devoid of any aesthetic value...
A rich songbook from Minas Gerais is crucial to winning over the audience’s involvement: there are traditional songs for all kinds of feelings, and there is a clear impression of justice in the fact that Romeo dedicates to Juliet the very consecrated “É a ti flor do Céu, que me refiro” . But in addition to music, other ways are used to bring the show closer to the street audience, the circus ways, which speak deeply even those for whom the small, naive and poor countryside circus is just a legend and no longer (unfortunately) a lived experience.
Another fascinating solution in the show is the mixture made between the Parnassianism of the translation by Onestaldo de Pennafort (very cut) with the flowery language of the narrator, as well as that of some lyrics of the songs (where the imaginative "estrelejou" appears!!!) forming a whole that transports the audience to a world as arbitrary as it is enchanting. And for the child of this world, of course, there is the effort of Grupo Galpão, so integrated with the universe conceived by the director that it would not be fair to single out another one of its members: Antônio Edson, Beto Franco, Chico Pelucio, Eduardo Moreira, Inês Peixoto, Julio Cesar Maciel, Rodolfo Vaz, Teuda Bara, Wanda Fernandes.
Not only does the ensemble performs well, but they all play instruments and sing - in addition, of course, to acrobatics. I have no doubt that Shakespeare will have seen many more totally correct stagings of several of his texts, but on the other hand I think he would understand very well the purpose of this one and would like to feel so beloved and treated with such intimacy."
(Bárbara Heliodora, July 12th of 1993)
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Text
in honour of the rawring 20s, more cringy things from my emo/scene phase, a semi-masterpost:
•putting the you me at six lyric “whose keeping a score of who is a whore??? i know you don’t!” as my myspace header in japanese…… so the girls in my year at school that i thought were “whores”, and didn’t like them bc of that, wouldn’t pick up that that i was aiming it at them. like being a weeb and a scene kid douchebag???? they don’t mix lmao.
•screaming “IF YOU HAD A SEX LIFE, A SEX LIFE WOULD YOU EVEN WORRY ABOUT MINE WHEN YOUR BED IS EMPTY???? YOU’RE A WASTE OF TIME!!!!” from the song sex life by d.r.u.g.s (destroy rebuild until god shows) through the halls of catholic school in year 10/2011 to try to ~subtly~ and bitterly flirt with my crush lmao. like honey. chill the fuck out!!!! you’re 15!!!!! not many people have a sex life at 15 anyway lmao
•my uh. jeffree star music phase in 2007
•i’ve mentioned this before but wanting to score my entire year 10 drama shakespeare monologue with emo music and my teacher having to block the idea constantly bc “it’s good enough on its own! i swear to GOD!”
•taking a studded belt to school on the 31/10/2009 bc i had to get ready for amity affliction at my besties house that day after school so we could head up to sydney that night for the concert. saying shit about having a studded belt made me hardcore and wanting to punch people in the face with it bc it was some dumb reoccurring theme i had
•watching the music video for one love by aiden on my ipod nano at school and telling everyone about jeffree star’s i hate you ring in the video and how if i ever had it i’d punch all the people i hated in the face with it….. and then they’d be branded for life with the fact that i hated them?????? like bro. i KNOW you are the embodiment of angsty harry potter from HP puppet pals. but literally!!!! calm the fuck down!!!!!!
•i’ve talked about it before, but breaking up with clear braces boy and immediately demanding him to “hurry up and listen to a day to remember bc they’re fucking amazing!!! and you know i’m motherfucking right!!!!”
•taking 3 hours to straighten my hair just to go swimming….. then like someone pushing me in a pool or the surf (if we’d gone to the beach) and RUINING MY PERFECTLY STRAIGHTENED HAIR AND MY AESTHETIC!!!! HOW DARE YOU????!!! you KNEW you were going swimming girl. why the fuck did you bother to straighten your hair anyway, lmao???
•the whole cringy thing of me wanting to work in the CD shop sanity just so i could play a bunch of emo music and have some cute heavily tattooed emo boy/guy in his skinny jeans, slouchy beanie/now gross beanie hat type thing and band shirt come in and mysteriously fall in love with me….. and then kiss me to “kill me in a record shop” by boys like girls… or like alternatively i’d be making out with my hot older emo coworker in the back to the same song or some other horny emo song anthem/s 😂😂 same went for JB hifi when they came along and started stocking all time low and cute is what we aim for cd’s 😂😂😂 the hot emo bro would also teach me to skate as a bonus hobby outside of work. like KILL ME NOW!!!!
• alternatively to the above, i’d just magically have a hot emo boy boyfriend who was preferably the singer in the band…. but also could play guitar and could hardcore scream really well….. when like the bulk of those dudes were literally in their 20s 😂😅. on this point, teen emo me believing that her liking 20something emo dudes who were covered in tats and piercings and wrote ~hella deep~ lyrics etc etc just apparently made her more mature than the girls in her year at catholic school who liked justin bieber or one direction (who were literally the same age as us lol). like girl no. if those older dudes hit on you, IT’S A RED FLAG!!!! FUCKING RUN!!!!
•wanting to take my edgy pop punk road trip to a town 8 hours north from where i am as soon i got my licence and stuff… also the whole moody thing about ~crashing my car just to feel again~ theme i had going on 2011/year 10 in my teen mental breakdown phase in regards to getting my licence bc i was so desperate to do something ~reckless~
•basically a good bulk of my high school statuses tbh
•me taking in the same 3 pics of the same 3 scene queens and hayley williams (and cassidy pope, once) into my hair dresser EVERY 8 WEEKS to get my hair cut just like them 😂😂 i even updated my facebook status in year 9/2010 once with “got hayley williams hair cut today :D :D!!!!” i swear to god my hairdresser got so sick of me taking those pics in lmao 😂😅
•stage diving at a local amity affliction show in 2010/year 9 and going straight to the fucking floor bc i accidentally jumped into a hole in the crowd…. but i suppose it’s bc i was the biggest wanker at the show bc….. before we went in, i was bragging hella loud about how “hardcore” i apparently was 😂😂
•using my hot topic dress in my year 10 drama monologue bc i thought its steampunk style was elizabethan enough when paired with my black marching band style jacket (that i used to imitate black parade era mcr) and a pocket watch that was a tiny moveable robot. and also my trusty red flanno shirt from jay jays
•wanting entire clothing lines from certain band members from certain labels. and most especially booty shorts with the persons name (most frequently a dude) plastered across my ass 😂😅
•wanting the entire mid2000s line of drop dead merch. also bbycks (baby cakes) and zumiez etc etc. also glamor kills.
•desperately wanting my bra to be on a mic stand of a certain band dudes mics (just why lmao)… or on certain band members mics lmao (also just why)
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patton-cake · 3 years
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Happy birthday Logan!
Summary: It's Logan's birthday! He is a bit scared for all the attention that birthdays bring, but his roommates will make this day unforgettable... right?
Pairings: established Logicality, platonic LAMP, background prinxiety (like one sentence)
Ugh
Logan woke up with a groan, he never liked this day. Something about all the positivity and the happy people made him uncomfortable. Yes, he was a year older, that's how humans work, why should they celebrate that? Logan stepped out of bed and started to change into his normal outfit.
When he walked downstairs he prepared himself for his energetic roommates to congratulate him. Roman and Patton always made a big deal out of birthdays. For Virgil's birthday the two had spend weeks planning a nightmare before chrismas themed sleepover, just with the four of them. When Roman's birthday came, Patton had made Virgil and Logan help him to turn their apartment into a broadway themed paradise, with Roman as the star. Patton's birthday was a whole different kind of special. The three roommates had really tried their best to let their best friend know how much they appreciated him. Patton had been drowned in presents, every present handmade and given a personal twist. Tears had fallen down Patton's cheeks and they ended up in a group hug.
But today it was Logan's turn. His 'special' day. To Logan's suprise, the living room was empty when he arrived downstairs. No happy chatter, no grumpy Virgil and no Roman serenading the pancakes. It was completely silent. That's weird, not even Patton was here to prepare his signature birthday breakfast. With a confused look Logan grapped his coffee mug and made himself a cup of coffee.
After a few minutes, Logan could here faint footsteps comming downstairs. Ah, there came the birthday energy. He expected to see Patton walking into the kitchen to greet him with a big hug, but instead he saw Virgil. His roommate let out a groan as his way of greeting Logan and poured himself a cup of coffee before making his way to the living room. Strange
Another ten minutes later, a louder noice came downstairs. Loud footsteps marched downstairs followed by a powerful voice singing some Disney songs. Roman.
"Morning nerd!" Roman greeted and made himself a cup of camomile tea, still mumbling the melody of the song. After questioning himself if he should try to steal a cookie from Patton's collection (he decided not to), Roman sat down next to Virgil on the couch, turning on the TV.
What was going on? .....They hadn't forgotten his birthday had they? Not that Logan was that sentimental when it came to birthdays, it still felt kind of nice to be complimented and appreciated once in a while. Maybe they were waiting until Patton came downstairs? That made sense. Speaking of their last roommate, shouldn't he be here already? Patton was always the first to wake up. 'To make my special boys some breakfast!' As Patton himself liked to say. It wasn't like him to still be in bed this late.
With a bad gut feeling, Logan walked back to their rooms, making his way to Patton. He would be lying if he said that he wasn't concerned about this whole situation. Anxiously he knocked on the lightblue door before fidgeting with his tie. He could hear a loud yawn coming from inside Patton's room, followed by footsteps. The door opened and Logan saw a very tired Patton. The smaller buy carefully rubbed his eyes before stretching his arms.
"Goodmorning Lolo...", another yawn, "What can I do for you?" Patton had definitely just woken up. His voice was really soft and tired and he was still wearing his pyjamas.
"Salutations Patton, my apologies if I have woken you up, I was simply concerned about your wellbeing."
Patton looked up at him, blinking a couple times before actually hearing what Logan said. "Those were a lot of fancy words Logan. I'm fine though! Just had to finish something last night, didn't get that much sleep."
A relief, mixed with some confusion fell over Logan. He then started to realise that it had been quiet for a few minutes now. Just when he wanted to speak up again, a weight started to lean against Logan. Patton had fallen asleep again. He must have been really tired then, to fall asleep in Logan's arms. Logan chuckled to himself before carefully picking Patton up, carrying him downstairs.
When he walked into their living room, Logan gently placed Patton on one of their couches, covering him with a fluffy blanket. He heard a chuckled laugh behind him and when he turned around he saw Roman and Virgil smirking at him. "Didn't take you for the princely type Specks. Are you trying to take over my job?" Logan rolled his eyes and ignored Roman. "I'm with Flynn Rider over here. One of those himbo's is more than enough already." Virgil crossed his arms before pushing Roman into their kitchen. The theee roommates made themselves breakfast, since Patton was clearly unable to do it for them, and sat down.
"Doing anything special today guys?" Roman asked while eating a spoonful of cornflakes. Ah there it came. The birthday plans. Except, it didnt?
"You know me Princey, I'm busy planning on how to take over the government and making Welcome to the black parade the new national anthem." Virgil finished his bowl and sat it down in the sink, "Better start making my plans, see you later nerds."
Just when Virgil walked back to his room, they could hear some movements from the living room. Patton carefully made his way to the kitchen, wrapped up in a blanket burrito.
"Goodmorning Ro, hi again Lolo." Tiredly, Patton made himself a sandwich before sitting next to Logan, leaning on his shoulder. "I'm sorry that I fell alseep on you Logan" Logan smiled softly at Patton and intertwined their fingers. "It's quite alright Patton, I hope you'll feel a little more energetic soon"
The three roommates finished their breakfast and Roman and Patton made their way back upstairs to get properly dressed. A sad feeling fell over Logan, had they really forgotten his birthday? It definitely seemed like they had...
Logan decided to leave the house for a couple of hours, going to the library. If his friends didn't want to celebrate his birthday then he had to make it a great day for himself on his own. Maybe being surrounded by books would make him feel a little happier. So Logan left a sticky note on the table with his location, grapped his coat and stepped outside.
The fresh wind in his face already made him feel a bit better. The Fall weather always cheered him up a bit, the pretty leafs colouring the landscape and the beautiful aesthetic of orange and red. Logan warmed his hands by putting them in his coat pockets and let out a sigh. Fall had always been his favourite season. The cold nights he spend together with his roommates rewatchings movies, watching Virgil turn into a his 'true form' as he called it during their annual Halloween celebration, following Roman to every little market he could find and buying the most ridiculous and unnecessary items and of course the lazy days he and Patton spend cuddled up in one of their rooms, sharing soft kisses and drifting off to sleep from time to time.
With a soft smile on his face, Logan entered the library, greeting ms. Williams who he had become really close with after spending all his teenage years in this library. He made his way to the mystery section, collected a couple of his favourite books and sat down at one of the tables next to the windows. Logan read his way through five books before hearing someone enter the building.
"Logan? Are you here?"
A soft voice echoed through the library and Logan could hear ms. Williams reassuring Patton that Logan was in fact somewhere in here. Patton thanked the librarian and Logan could hear his footsteps comming his way. "There you are Lolo! I was worried that we lost you on your birthday!" His boyfriend softly giggled and sat down next to Logan.
"So.. So you didn't forget my birthday?" Logan shyly looked down at his hands, cursing himself for the blush that spread over his face. "Of course not Starlight! How could we ever forget the day someone this amazing was born?" Patton let out another giggle before taking Logan's hands in his, "What did you think we all have been working on all these weeks? What did you think I was working on last night? Come Lo! Virge and Ro are waiting for us at home!"
Patton pulled his boyfriend up and helped him return the books to their places. He enthusiastically waved ms. Williams goodbye, who chuckled and gave Logan a soft smile as to say 'You better not let that one go Logan'. With their hands intertwined, they made their way outside again. When Logan shivered slightly from the cold, Patton pressed his side to him, resting his head on his shoulder. "To keep us warm!" Logan let out a soft laugh and put his arm around Patton's shoulder, pressing him closer. In a comfortable silence the two made their way back home.
When they were close to their house, Logan could hear music coming from inside of the place. Patton turned the key around and opened the door. The two were met by the smell of cinnamon, pumpkin bread and chocolate. Logan, as the gentleman he was, helped Patton with his coat and put both of their coats away. Patton, once again, grapped Logan's hand and tugged him to the living room. And wow.
Logan definitely hadn't expected this. His friends had completely transformed their living room. The couches were pushed against the wall, the curtains were closed and the floor was covered in pillows. Cinnamon scented candles were placed everywhere and the table was covered with sweets and other delicious foods. He felt Patton's arm wrapped around him and leaned back against his boyfriend, who placed his chin on Logan's shoulder. "Happy birthday my love." It didn't take long before Roman and (a hesitant) Virgil joined the group hug.
They spend the night watching all of Logan's favourite movies and documentaries while chatting in their pyjamas and eating the backed goods Patton ("and Roman!") had made.
A few hours after midnight, Logan looked around at his roommates. Virgil had fallen asleep after the fifth movie. His friend leaned against Roman's shoulder while using his arm as a teddy bear. Speaking of Roman, it hadn't taken long for him to follow Virgil. His head leaned on Virgil's and he snorted a bit, making Logan chuckle. Last but not least he turned to look at Patton. Beautiful Patton, who was curled up against Logan's chest, breathing softly. He had fallen asleep a few minutes ago after tiredly mumbling about how amazing Logan was and how his hair always looked so cute and how Patton could spend hours just watching him reading 'because you are so adorable Logibear! I love listening to you!' Logan had kissed his boyfriend's forehead before softly thanking him.
Yeay, Logan truly was the luckiest men alive. He had his two best friends and his adorable boyfriend who he hoped to spend many more birthdays with. He let out a quiet yawn before closing his eyes, snuggling closer to Patton, and soflty drifting away.
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Third Act: Patience
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Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
guardian demon!jimin x reader
genre: fluff, angst, supernatural, romance, comedy, slice of life
word count: 5.1k
Related works: see Masterlist under guardian demon!jimin
Continuation of the events following Jamais Vu + Interlude: Second Best
A/N: SOOO this is surprisingly quite shorter than I had planned because i was actually gonna put together two acts in this chapter but then i thought against it by the end because it would ruin my aesthetic of the story LOL PLUS more to read for these trying times. On that note, i hope you guys enjoy this nevertheless and that you’re all doing well, stay healthy and safe!
Tags! @cherryjiminiee @kokobaekkie @breathebangtan @itsadoozie @thatshylatinagirl @chiminieboi @azulamakesmeblank @sectumsemptae @awkwardwookie @aduky @poisonseashell @shortannoyingginger @caramelmac-chiato @sana-b @jiminstinct @beautifulparisiangirl​
The rest of the night was a blur in your memories. You vaguely remember exiting the arena in a daze, robotically moving with the flow of the crowd and ending up outside. The night air doesn’t shock you as much as it should from being in a stuffy place for so long, the reason being never really did leave your mind and it only makes you worry your bottom lip.
Eventually, Rosa finds you after blowing your phone up with all of her messages that weren’t able to get through from the weak signal; first crushing you into a hug and asking if you were okay, apologizing for having lost you when really, it was your fault and once you assured her that you were, proceeded to squeal with unbridled emotions while shaking you, still crushed against her.
It pulls a small smile out of you, wheezing a laugh before she finally puts you down. You’re happy to hear Rosa chat away so excitedly about the concert, the high of it all has yet to subside. You wish you could share the same enthusiasm as her, but you’re feeling more like you skipped straight into the post-concert depression stage, even though you literally just stepped out of the arena. Or at least, you tell Rosa that when she notices how strained your responses were.
It takes some time, but you make it back to your hotel. You remember trying to push yourself to keep up conversations with Rosa, guilty for raining on her parade a little and at times, you think it works as you two look over the footage she managed to get on her phone. However, unsurprisingly, it was short-lived; whenever you catch sight of Jimin despite knowing that it’s not your guardian, your mind automatically drifts to the fight you had in the back alley and your guilt takes on a completely different form — one much more stifling and overwhelming.
It continues to gnaw at you through the night and to the moment you step on the plane, ready to fly back home. It’s made you develop a habit of checking your phone every other minute, a small part of you hoping to see something, anything that might be from him.
By the time you’re back in your room late in the afternoon, you still hear nothing.
You discard your luggage and bags in a corner without much care before sagging onto your bed. Jaehee wasn’t home when you got in, but the note she’s stuck on your bedroom door told you that she was out doing a grocery run and would be back shortly to welcome you home properly with a home-cooked meal. You smile softly at the thought but it doesn’t stay for long as your attention drifts back to the phone clutched in your hand. You click to unlock it, finding no new messages or calls yet again, the sight further eating away at you.
A heavy sigh leaves you, eyes slipping shut and your head slumps down as you bring the phone up to your temple, hitting against it gently.
Why did you have to be so stubborn? Your mind recalls the memory with clarity; a movie scene being replayed before you and you cringe at how you acted, every word and action reminded you of a spoiled child. Looking back now, you knew he was only trying to look out for you, keep your best health in mind but you were too caught up in your emotions at the time, tunnel visioned so hard you didn’t see the bigger picture until you’ve already walked away.
Now you’re reaping what you sowed.
As if the weight on your shoulders became too much, you allow yourself to fall back onto your bed. Your arm automatically reaches out to the giant plush cat, dragging it until you have it flushed against you, the malleable toy bringing a little sense of comfort. You pull your phone up to your face again, unlocking it once more and unsurprisingly, not finding any new messages. You stare a little longer before almost unconsciously your finger taps onto the text thread and then they hover over the call icon — hesitating.
What would you say? Would he even want to hear from you?
The thought makes your chest ache, but what’s worse than that is never hearing from him again at all and this would be your last memories of each other. No, you don’t want that. So you take a fortifying breath, pushing away all of your self-doubting thoughts and finally —
The phone comes alive in your hand, the vibration and the ringtone combined making you jolt for a second with your hands fumbling the device. Once you get a grip, your eyes scan the screen and your eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets. Without a second thought, you slide to accept the call.
“Hello?” It comes out in a gasp, breathless from how fast you bolt up from your position, ramrod straight and the poor plush cat clutched against you like a lifeline.
“Y/N?”
“Y-Yeah, hey…” Your heart is racing like you’ve ran a marathon, so loud in your ears that you hope by some miracle he doesn’t pick it up through the line because lord knows you’re not doing a good job at hiding how nervous you are.
“…Hey…”
And the sound of his voice is not helping; husky and low, like rich velvet chocolate that has your heart stuttering and melting all at once. He’s so easily emptied your head of all the things you had wanted to say and he’s only said one word.
Wow, you’re really losing it huh?
“Y/N?”
“H-Huh?”
“I asked if you got home okay.”
Your cheeks heat, picking up on the breathy edge of his tone and already imagining the amused quirk of his full lips. “Yeah! I — Yeah, I just got in…. In my room, just… resting for now…”
“That’s good to hear….” You hear him trailing off, trying to keep the conversation light and casual as if there wasn’t a giant pink elephant between you. It does nothing but make you more aware of it, antsy in needing to come forward and own up to your mistake because he, of all people, deserves an apology for how poorly you acted. Swallowing, you take in a breath and just go for it before you can regret it.
“Jimin—“
“Y/N—“
You both pause, an awkward silence filling the space at not anticipating the other speaking the same time. Hurriedly, you try to cover up your social blunder, embarrassed.

“God, sorry you can—“

“Sorry, what were you—“
Again, you speak over each other, which ensues another awkward beat. It’s only broken when you can’t help but let out a short huff of a laugh, completely at a lost. Through the line however, you’re greeted with the pleasant sounds of his own chuckle joining your own and like a spell, you are at ease, the nerves dissipating slowly.
“Now I remember why I can’t do phone calls…” You groan, half-jokingly but also already burying your face halfway into the large toy you have that’s now acting as an emotional support. If only it could swallow you whole…
“It’s okay, I don’t mind — not like I’m doing any better.” He replies and you smile softly, the warmth of his voice so soothing to your ears. Any other time you probably would be satisfied in listening to him talk for hours through the phone, social awkwardness be damn but this is neither here nor there, so you shake yourself before you get too lost into the tempting idea, getting back on the matter at hand.
“How about you go first?”
“No, you go ahead.”
“Seriously, Jimin—“
“I insist, Y/N.” Jimin’s voice is still gentle yet firm, enough for you to sense that there’s no room for argument. “Please.”
So you sigh, giving in. “Okay….” You say that, but it takes you a moment to gather yourself, not knowing where to begin or how to put into words what you feel properly.
But he waits patiently, and the quiet assurance allows for you to take that first step, even if you might stumble.
“I’m sorry,” You blurt out before you catch yourself and think maybe you need a little bit more context. “The concert… When you saved me from passing out by taking me outside, I— I’m really grateful you did that. I think it would’ve been bad if you hadn’t so…. What I said afterwards, and how I acted afterwards, that was really shitty of me…. You were right; I was so careless —“
“Y/N....”
“No! I really wasn’t thinking! And it’s so unfair of me because you helped me and I just—!” You stop abruptly, your voice rising dangerously in pitch with frustration and take in a shaky breath, trying to reign in your emotions. There’s no way you’re going to turn this already mess of an apology into an even bigger mess by actually crying. He might not be able to see you but you still felt the need to walk away with some dignity; composed so that he won’t think you’re some pathetic wreck. After swallowing away the growing lump in your throat, you continue on quietly, “I was just….so mad at myself. Like, after everything I couldn’t even stay for the entire concert — like I completely wasted it all and I took it out on you. So if you’re mad at me, then I get it; just know that I’m really sorry, Jimin.”
You don’t know what to say after that, not sure if there’s anything else left that isn’t ‘I’m sorry’. So you wait with bated breath for him to say something. Forgiveness was a selfish want from you but you would understand if he chooses not to despite the thought of it alone leaves your chest aching. The mere minutes of silence drags on like an eternity for you until finally, you hear him sigh.
“Y/N, I’m not mad at you, I promise.” He says, sincerely. “And I should be the one apologizing; for…freaking out at you like that, it just made things worse. I know….I know how much they mean to you,” There’s a short pause, like there was suddenly something holding him back but he shakes it off just as quickly as it had came, “how much he means to you.”
The statement has you momentarily taken aback, not expecting it at all. For some reason, you didn’t like the way he said that, even when everything about it was true. Before you can think too much on it however, Jimin quickly switches the tone in conversation, redirecting your attention elsewhere. “I’m sorry that things didn’t work out but you know your safety is my priority, right?”

“Y-Yeah, I know….” You reply, a little flustered from having your thoughts derailed but pouting at being reminded of your deplorable behaviour, feeling much like a reprimanded child. “I promise I’ll be more careful from now on.”
“That’s my girl.” You grunt in acknowledgement, heated face sinking back into the soft confines of the bean-shaped cat still in your arms. “Listen, I have to go soon, so take care of yourself for me alright? Get something to eat and, please unpack and do your laundry.”
His playful gibe draws out an affronted gasp from you, “Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?”
You only get a peal of laughter in response, making you further pout indignantly.

“I’ll talk to you later okay? Stay safe, cherub.”
“M-Mm, yeah okay. I’ll talk to you later then.”
When you hang up, you’re in a bit of daze. On one hand, you feel relieved that you both managed to resolve the fight that was weighing so heavily on your chest, honestly just glad to hear from your guardian again too but on the other hand, you can’t help also feeling like you’d been bulldozed a little. You want to say you’re simply over analyzing things, but your mind is constantly wandering back to what he said about how much BTS meant to you — more specifically, how much he, BTS’ Jimin, meant to you.
It almost sounded as if….
As if he believed you thought less about him in comparison.
You swear your heart drops to your stomach, frozen in a stunned silence like you can’t process this information, the idea preposterous and so close to outright denying it until you realize that… you never gave any indication otherwise. It really has always been BTS and their Jimin with you but now…
Now there’s Jimin….Your Jimin.
BTS are still important to you but your guardian has become someone irreplaceable to you, and through all the fond memories you can recall, he's there.
He's always been there.
The revelation triggers everything all at once; sweaty palms, palpitating heart, butterflies in the stomach — the whole shebang along with a whole Pandora’s box of emotions: elation, relief, disbelief, giddiness, uncertainty….
And crippling anxiety.
Oh boy, you think as a nervous laugh escapes you, I’m in danger.
-
Fuck.
He curses to himself for the umpteenth time as a particularly harsh wave of pain rolls over him, eyes squeezing shut to try and block it out but he thinks all he’s done successfully is make himself dizzy. It lasts for a second longer before finally it ebbs away and a long exhale escapes past his lips, relieved. The demon remains where he is slouched against the concrete ledge lining the rooftop he’s on a while longer, simply catching his breath and letting the gentle breeze cool his skin. Only once he feels the throbbing against his head die down does he let his eyes slip open again.
He’s greeted with the brilliant sight of the sunset sky, so vibrant it almost seems like he’s looking at a painting. The rich shades of orange bleed like wildfire, lighting the streaks of wispy clouds almost red before blending in to softer pinks and hints of lilacs, the blues deepening into a more indigo shade with the coming of night. The sun sits just a little above the horizon, its glow no more than a haze as it continues to make its descent and he watches on with an almost mocking indifference to the splendour of it all.
Jimin instead, idly thinks he’s gotten a good handle at dealing with the shockwave of pain that comes with completing a deed. He doesn’t feel as winded or sore from the muscle aches it usually leave behind — he wonders if he’ll eventually become numb to it or simply be too tired to care. Dark eyes wander down to his phone still clutched in his hand and the conversation he had not too long ago rushes back.
It went… surprisingly smoother than he had expected, despite the awkward start. When he had decided to call you, Jimin had finally swallowed his pride in that he owes you at least an apology for shouting at you the way he did. It was unnecessary and did more harm than good, evident when he had watched you withdraw in on yourself soon afterwards. He should’ve known better, but in that moment his emotions got in the way; those dark desires he's trying to keep locked away, only for them to become harder and harder to contain the longer time passes. And that’s what Jimin’s afraid of — that despite knowing how much the band and the singer means to you, he’ll disregard it all for petty, selfish reasons. Hell, he couldn’t even acknowledge the fact out loud just now without having to practically force it through his teeth and even then, the bitter aftertaste the words leave behind still lingers.
Like a reminder that all Jimin will ever have with you are fleeting moments, nothing more.
Jimin’s afraid that sooner or later, he’ll end up hurting you because he got too greedy.
A deep sigh leaves him and he runs a hand through his dark tresses out of stress, thoughts racing through his troubled mind until one sticks out above the rest. From the way things are going, Jimin thinks his best course of action would be to distance himself from you a bit more; see you less in person and maybe perhaps get your roommate Jaehee to check in on you every once in a while for him.
It’s not something he wants to do, but with it, it’s killing two birds with one stone — you won’t find out about his weakening condition and he won’t do anything that he’ll regret.
-
Before you know it, the week is nearly over with days passing by with you back on your routine again of going to work and occasionally hanging out with your friends. The world moves on as if nothing were amiss even though for you, it was anything but.
Sure, in the grand scheme of things (i.e. the universe), your problem is pretty minuscule and there’s no doubt that if your friends were clued in on everything, they would probably smack you, call you a dumb-dumb and tell you to quote, ‘get that ass!’ but it just had to be so much more complicated than that.
First and foremost, you were four days old when you found out that you’ve caught feelings for a demon who also happens to be your supernatural entity guardian.
That sentence alone is already chock full of all sorts of sacrilegious implications (not that you really cared but you can only imagine how it would sound like to an outsider).
Secondly, you don’t know if he feels the same way or if he just sees you as something else; a tolerable human being that’s entertaining? A friend you would hope at least. Or…. Simply an obligation.
That last one stung a little.
Worse is you haven’t forgotten that your guardian was only meant to stay temporarily, something that had already been troubling you in the back of your mind and though you had pushed it away continuously, you learn that all it did was grow until it began manifesting itself in ways you hadn’t realized. Both a good and a bad thing because in doing so, some things make much more sense now. But with you being aware of your feelings, the question of how or should you even let them be known becomes the cherry on top of this rapidly melting sundae.
You think you’ve worked through every possible scenario, dissecting them every way you can like a mad scientist, but the results all end up the same either way — things wouldn’t work out and you’ll just end up being heart broken.
An exasperated groan leaves you and your forehead nearly connects with the table below you before you caught yourself midway, thinking better because you don’t know what’s been on it. You don’t get time to continue your brooding however as a radio static voice cuts through the lunchroom.
“Hey Y/N, you back from your break yet?”
Glancing down at your phone, you note the time and inwardly curse, reaching up to press down on the mic reluctantly, “Yeah, I’m on my way out.”
“Okay, cool. Once you’re back up on cash, Stephanie can take her break then.”
You slouch back on your seat, intent on taking your time to get up (not like there was anyone here to clock you on your punctuality). You have two hours left on your shift but already you feel drained, both physically and mentally. Eventually, you muster the strength and willpower to finally get up and begin making your way back to the store floor, despite your mind being far from keeping the queue line clean and customers happy.
You sigh, hoping weakly that by some miracle, the remaining work would be enough to distract you from your troubling thoughts, if only for a short while.
When the two hours were done, it felt like you had been holding your breath the entire time and when you finally clocked out did you let yourself breathe. The weight of your thoughts stayed, but at least now you’re finally free to wallow in it once again without any interruptions. Probably not the greatest thing since it nearly made you miss your stop. You get through the door, catching Jaehee just as she’s making her way to the kitchen, changed in her lounge wear, fresh from a shower with her hair still damp and a towel draped around her shoulders.
“Jaehee, you’re home… kinda early?” You remark, taking a glance down at your phone to confirm that usually she wouldn’t be home for another hour and a half.
“Oh yeah, I asked to clock out early; wasn’t feeling too well.” She answers wryly with a half-hearted shrug. You blink at that, brows pinching a little in worry.
“Coming down with something?”
“Nah, nothing serious. Promise.” Jaehee smiles, assuring. “I’m gonna make lasagna tonight, sounds good?”
You nod, feeling your stomach rumble with anticipation. After washing up, you head out of your room, comfy in your pjs and already smelling the cheesy goodness of the lasagna baking. Peering into the kitchen, you see Jaehee busy with cutting up lettuce, most likely for a salad on the side for you to share.
“So how was your day?” Jaehee asks as you step in to take out some plates and utensils.
You respond with a noise; a straining, drawn out groan that borderlines on a mental breakdown but never quite reaches. It’s a response your roommate is familiar with, so much that any further context isn’t necessary for her to understand that work has been same old, same old; irritating but you do it for the money.
“Any dumb customers?” She laughs.
You pause to think but then answer, “Thankfully, no. Like, God decided to take pity on me for once. What about you? Has your manager been acting up lately, Ethan?”
At the mention, Jaehee lets out her own groan, shoulders dropping for a second as if the very thought’s weight had suddenly pushed down on her. You offer a sympathetic pat before slipping on oven mits to grab the now ready lasagna. Jaehee worked at an office in a junior position as a recruiter of sorts, a job she managed to get a little bit before graduating and thus, quitting her old retail job. What the company does specifically you’re still a little unsure of to this day but from what you’ve been hearing through Jaehee, you think that’s not the biggest issue to worry about.
Most of the stories Jaehee chooses to share with you were more or less what you would call ‘office horror stories’ — two-faced co-workers, that one guy who doesn’t know what personal space is, after work get togethers that, although is a nice idea, were often times far too forced to feel anything remotely ‘team bonding’, some handful shady department practices and of course, the unstable manager. Needless to say, it’s left you feeling concerned over the environment Jaehee has chosen to work in and although she expresses the same opinions as you whenever she vents, she’s always left feeling uncertain on what to do and then just brushes it off.
You don’t push on it further after that, only offering suggestions she could possibly consider but ultimately, leave it for her to decide whether she would actually take them or not. This is Jaehee’s job, not yours and you respect and trust Jaehee as a person who can make the right choices about her life.
And so dinner passes by in that same manner, the subject shifting quickly onto more casual things. Once or twice Jaehee would sneakily ask how things are going on with Jimin (or Julien as she knows him) of which like talks about her workplace, you skitter around on — as if you can explain your dilemma to her when you don’t even know where to begin yourself!
By the time you wash up and crash land onto your bed, you’re back to square one, caught up in your internal whirlwind of emotions with no hopes of trying to sort any of the mess out. Like Dorothy trapped in her little house that’s been sucked into the tornado, except you don’t even have a little dog to be your emotional support. You toss and you turn for a while, kept up by those thoughts until your self-promises of trying to go to sleep early is abandoned in favour of scrolling endlessly through your social media feeds. So much for trying to fix your awful sleep schedule.
You swear you blink once and it’s well past two in the morning already. You put your phone down with a sigh, bringing up a hand to rub your eyes and relieve them momentarily from the harsh glare of the screen. The thought that maybe you should give it a rest and attempt to sleep, even if it means just closing your eyes and hoping you lull off at some point crosses your mind but right when you’re about to part with your phone, a low buzz erupts from it along with a small chime. The vibration sends a shock from your chest before you lift up the device, the screen lit with a new incoming notification. When your eyes adjust to the brightness once more, you freeze.
Speak of the demon.
“Hey cherub,
I know it’s pretty late (though something tells me you’re still awake anyways)
But I just wanted to check up on you and see how you’re doing.”
You inwardly groan to yourself; it’s like the Lord is testing you right now. All the mixed feelings you’ve been having has you seeing things through new lenses. It’s annoying on every aspect — you hate how it has made you second guess yourself on everything that you’ll do or say, like you’re walking on eggshells while being smothered at the same time. But you can’t deny that your caution isn’t without reason. When it comes to matters of the heart, your approach is comparatively much more skeptical than to most people you know. Hence, you suppose, it would explain your sparse and short-lived dating history.
You weren’t a big risk taker or trusting enough to leave your heart in someone else’s hands; you feel like you have so much more to lose than to gain and you’d rather save the heartache for something a little bit more worthwhile. So to even think about shooting your shot with someone when the odds are so against you like this….
You chew on your lip, heart pounding and fingers hovering over the keyboard in limbo, caught between listening to your head or your heart. But Jimin…. Your dear guardian Jimin, always had this inexplicable effect on you. You don’t know whether it’s from his nature as a demon or something else, but it has only grown stronger over the time you’ve spent with him that you think no matter how hard you try to stay away, you’ll find yourself unconsciously searching for him again, like a moth drawn to a flame.
And so you find yourself tentatively typing out your response, backspacing when the doubt creeps in but ultimately, you reason, as long as you don’t give anything away, he can’t see through you… yet.
You hit send before you think too deeply on that.
“I don’t appreciate being called out like that >:(
But if you must know, I’m well (despite, you know, possibly losing out on precious sleep right now due to a certain demon).”
The bated breath you let out could be mistaken for accomplishing something excruciatingly nerve wracking, like skydiving for the first time. It’s comical really, if you weren’t the one going through it. Your head flops to the side momentarily in a defeated manner; why did you have to get smacked in the face with feelings when you can barely get a handle of what you want for dinner the following day? Maybe you shouldn’t have replied, but then you’d feel bad because Jimin hasn’t done anything to get ghosted. Oh god, maybe you should’ve just replied in the morning instead, why did you have to be so — ! A rumble pulls you out of your mental panicking and with jittery hands you bring up your phone again, hastily reading the reply.
“Don’t pout cherub, I’m just messing with you ~
I actually didn’t think you would reply but anyways, I’m glad to hear you’re doing okay at least so you should try to get some of that sleep.
I won’t keep you then.”
But you do pout regardless. In spite of sounding like you wanted to desperately hide away from ever talking to Jimin again in fear of acting like a fool, you can’t help feeling a little disappointed at how short the conversation was. Your fingers move on their own, typing out the first thoughts that comes to mind, only to erase them. It goes on like that until you finally stop on the sixth try, deflating as if all the night’s tumultuous emotions have finally worn you out to a sullen calm. What are you even trying to do? You feel like for the past minutes, you’ve done nothing but be so indecisive with yourself that you fear you don’t know what you want anymore. Perhaps this is your divine intervention that you should sleep on this, at least for tonight.
With a resigned sigh, you send off a short and simple message, not really expecting a reply as you finally place your phone down on your nightstand.
“I’ll go to sleep soon.
I hope you’re doing well too, staying out of trouble and such.
I can’t exactly guarantee you that I’ll be of much help if you do, so….don’t do it!
And thanks… for checking up on me.”
You go to settle down into your sheets when the familiar chime and rumble once again snags your attention and you can’t resist, reaching over. You read over his words, a smile tugging at your lips.
“I’m fine, don’t worry your pretty little head over me.
I won’t do anything that’ll stress you out….too much ;)
(the prick, always gotta keep you on your toes somehow but you suppose that’s why there’s never a dull moment with him)
It’s not a problem darling, so rest easy and …. sweet dreams.”
The smile lingers on your lips long after you drift off to a surprisingly peaceful slumber, mind put more at ease. You’ll figure this out, one way or another.
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tilbageidanmark · 3 years
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Movies I watched this week - 27
“All right, I'll count to 8, and if you haven't smiled, I'll strangle you.”
Godard’s seminal À bout de souffle (Breathless) with young Jean-Paul Belmondo and Jean Seberg (Photo Above) + cameos of NINE New Wave directors: Himself, Melville, Jacques Rivette, and 6 more friends from the movement.
One of la Nouvelle Vague’s first & most revolutionary moments. Is it a love story, a nihilist crime story or a comedy?
9/10 - Bravo!
✴️       
“It rained the day daddy died”
Something Beautiful Left Behind is a sad documentary about kids whose parents died. In New Jersey, a group called The Good Grief helps young orphans deal with their loss and process their emotions.
The story telling is very simple, and there’s nothing here but children quietly mourning and struggling to carry on with the fact that their mom, or dad, or both, will never be with them again. Only at the very end, the focus expands for one poignant moment, and at a gathering of 1,200 members, they all send fire lanterns into the night sky.
(Danish produced!) - 9/10
✴️  2 with tragically quiet Juliette Binoche:
✳️✳️✳️ In the first of Krzysztof Kieślowski’s Three Color Trilogy, Blue, gorgeous Juliette Binoche survives a car accident that kills her composer husband and her 5 year old daughter. In sorrow, she cuts herself from everything in her past, but can’t be completely free.
Falling away from one’s life - ambiguous, poetic and intelligent
- The best film of the week!
✳️✳️✳️ Louis Malle’s disappointing next-to-last film, Damage, where Binoche plays a femme fatale that starts a “passionate” sexual affair with British minister Jeremy irons, the father of her fiancé.
It’s so “steamy” that they do it everywhere, on the floor, in the kitchen, in the alley. But why? What does she see in him? What’s both their motivations? It’s completely unclear.
✴️        
So I had to compensate with another UK ministry drama, my most favorite Armando Iannucci‘s black comedy satire In The Loop, about the lead-in to the invasion of Iraq, and of which I wrote about here.  
Here’s the Best of Malcolm Tucker.
10/10 - Fuckity bye!
✴️        
Between ‘Kimono My House’, ‘Propaganda’ and ‘Indiscreet’, I used to like the early 70′s Sparks, with their provocative Hitler mustache and Bowie-lite aesthetics. So I was looking forward to Edgar Wright‘s brand new Sparks Brothers fan-bio. But apart from learning that they collaborated with Jacques Tati on a movie before he died, this endless parade of irritating celebrity interviews was tiring and redundant: Imagine hearing somebody like Fred Armisen saying things like “I remember where I was when I first heard their song ‘so and so’ - it was so unique for its time and nobody was doing anything like that then... It was - just incredible - Wow ..”
3/10
✴️       
Chris Marker’s 1962 “experimental” La Jetée: In the aftermath of World War III, a prisoner in post-apocalyptic Paris is subject to an experiment in time travel, because of a strong recollection he has from his childhood of a pier at Orly Airport.
Made entirely of black & white still photos, with minimal sounds & voice over. Haunting.
I must re-visit the “Left Bank” side of the French New Wave, Resnais, Varda, Melville, Duras...
✴️       
And La Jetée inspired Terry Gilliam’s 12 monkeys who used the same basic science fiction premise. It’s a typically Gilliam-baroque, noisy and thick, with lots of retro steampunky pipes and fog and analog gizmos, but why did it have to star human ape Bruce Willis?
All over the map - 2/10
✴️        
A brand new ticking clock medical drama, The God Committee, about an organ transplant committee that must make a decision within one hour who of 3 possible recipients "deserves" a life-saving heart the most.
6/10
✴️        
John was trying to contact aliens is a short (16 min.) documentary about a lonely DJ in rural Michigan who had spent his whole life searching for celestial signals in order to prove that there’s someone out there, beyond our immediate circles. Surprising!
✴️         
Offbeat season 2 of Tim Robinson’s crazy sketch show I Think You Should Leave. Still irreverent, wacky, absurdly funny.
With Conner O'Malley (’Randy’ from ‘Palm Springs’!)
✴️          
The Shooter, a 2013 Danish thriller with Trine Dyrholm and Kim Bodina (Does he always play heavies and psychos?), which is apparently a remake of a 1977 film.
It seems that many of the Danish films I’ve watched have minor sub-plots abroad, in India, Africa, Mediterranean... It expands the plots, and enables the crew to take a little trip
At 55 min. they drive pass our neighborhood! Fun!
5+
✴️        
Having started and never finished reading Umberto Eco’s book, I imagine that the film adaptation of The Name of the Rose is striped out of its intellectual semiotic depth, and left only with visuals of a detective monk in a foggy 14th century Italian monastery. No matter: It was still a lovely murder-mystery in unusual settings.
With the most unlikely choice, 17 year old Christian Slater, to join venerable Sean Connery as Adso von Melk, his novice apprentice.
✴️        
Sam Mendes’ American Beauty about escape from suburbia, still brilliant after 22 years.
Creepy and unhappy Lester Burnham fantasizes about his daughter’s teenage friend bathing in red rose petals.
✴️          
Chaplin’s last masterly silent film Modern Times, made toward the end of the Depression, still on point. 80 years later, his visionary insights about work, industry and progress ring anti-capitalistic with unabashed socialist leanings. Not a didactic piece of propaganda, this is pathos pure and simple, full of tears and laughter, about a man who wants a job.
Also, a love story of two nameless people who have nothing to their name.
Smile though your heart is breaking - 9/10
✴️           
First watch: David Cronenberg’s Body Horror classic, Scanners, mostly telling and not showing, except of a couple of exploding heads and engorged veins.
Do I need to watch all the famous Science Fiction movies I never bothered to before?
No! 2/10
- - - - -
Throw-back to the art project:
À bout de souffle Adora.
- - - - -
(My complete movie list is here)
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letterboxd · 3 years
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How I Letterboxd #10: Chad Hartigan.
Filmmaker Chad Hartigan talks to Jack Moulton about his prescient new sci-fi romance, Little Fish, why radio silence is worse than a bad review, and his secret system of Letterboxd lists.
Chad Hartigan has won prizes at the Sundance Film Festival and the Film Independent Spirit Awards for his acclaimed films This is Martin Donner and Morris From America. He’s also been a Letterboxd member since way back, joining what he proclaims as “my favorite website” in 2013. Hartigan has always been an obsessive logger: he has transcribed all of his viewing data since 1998 and continues to work on filling in the gaps in his downtime.
Like many ardent Letterboxd members, Hartigan is a diligent list-maker, keeping tabs on his best first viewings of each year and assembling an all-time top 1,000 films over the summer (with an accompanying 26-minute supercut). Perhaps unusually for a member of the film industry on Letterboxd, he’s unafraid to hold back his opinions and regularly voices his critiques on even the most acclaimed films.
Hartigan’s newest film, Little Fish, is a sci-fi love story starring Olivia Cooke (Sound of Metal) and Jack O’Connell (Unbroken). Written by Mattson Tomlin, it’s set during an imagined pandemic—shot long before our own actual pandemic—wherein a disease causes people to lose their memories. It was set to premiere at the 2020 Tribeca Film Festival, and then postponed due to Covid-19. It’s now out in limited theaters and on demand, and we were delighted with the excuse to put Hartigan in the How I Letterboxd spotlight.
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Olivia Cooke as Emma and Jack O’Connell as Jude in ‘Little Fish’.
You made a pandemic movie before the pandemic. How do you feel about accidentally hitting that unfortunate zeitgeist and now consequently being asked questions like this one? Yeah, strange. The questions are fine. If it wasn’t this one, it would be another that you would have to answer over and over again. One of the things that drew me to the project was that it felt like a fantasy that wasn’t necessarily rooted in reality in a way that my other [films] were. I liked that it’s old-fashioned in its attempts to purely take you somewhere and wasn’t intended to hold up a mirror to our times—but then in the end that’s exactly what it’s doing. I’m curious myself, and I’m checking Letterboxd to see the reactions from people because I really couldn’t guess what it would have been like [now].
Are there any prescient details you’re proud of getting right? I’m so grateful and happy that Jack [O’Connell] is wearing his mask correctly. That’s the number one thing that I’m glad we got right. I think it was very smart of Mattson to focus the movie on [the relationship] rather than the details of this global pandemic. I feel the reason it’s not in bad taste is because it dealt with those things as a backdrop and instead focused on people just trying to remember what’s important and clinging onto those that they love.
Onto our own favorite memory aid, Letterboxd. How did you discover us and how did you manage without us? I’ve been on since 2013, so I’m probably one of the earliest people to jump on it. I love the interface and the diary, just aesthetically it was really fun. I’ve been keeping track of what I see with analog [methods] for as long as I can remember. I have diaries and planners so I logged all that old information. If I was running for president, my platform would be that everybody is required to use Letterboxd comprehensively, because I just love to know what everybody is watching all the time.
Do you talk about Letterboxd in the real world with the other filmmaking people? Yes, and I’m often trying to convince them to join. Other filmmakers are more concerned about having their opinions on peers be public knowledge than I am, I guess. I’ve made four films now and each one’s been bigger and more widely seen than the last. The very first one was a total no-budget affair that couldn’t get into any festivals and I was very excited when I finally got it into the Hamptons Film Festival. It was about half-full and one or two people came up to me afterwards and said they liked it. This was pre-Twitter so I spent the whole next day Googling to see if anybody had written anything. I was so curious to see what people thought and there was nothing—not a review, not a blog—just total emptiness.
When the next film got into Sundance, there were people tweeting their reactions and actual reviews and I read everything. People were asking if the bad reviews hurt me. Absolutely not—nothing can be worse than the radio silence of nobody caring about the first film. The fact that people care enough to sit and write about this movie—good or bad—is a win, and I’ve carried that onward. I like to see what people think, it can be helpful in how you view the film as a success or failure. You learn and move on.
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Jack O’Connell at least remembers how to wear a mask in ‘Little Fish’.
Some filmmakers have told us they’re kinder to films after making their own, but you’re not shy at all about being critical. How did making your own films change your perspective as a critic? I don’t consider myself a critic so that’s why I’d be less concerned with someone reading what I thought. Why should they put any stock into what I think? If they get hung up on it then that’s their own stuff because I’m not a critic. Like everyone else on Letterboxd, I just love watching movies. Obviously I can appreciate and understand some of the technical aspects maybe moreso than people who don’t make films, but at the end of the day, rarely that’s the thing that makes you love a movie or not. There’s a great bit in Francis Ford Coppola’s commentary track for Finian’s Rainbow where Fred Astaire’s doing a dance number and [Coppola admits] he totally messed it up because Astaire’s feet aren’t fully in frame. He’s very honest about his mistakes because it’s one of his earliest movies. Then he goes on to say that he thinks there’s the same number of mistakes in Finian’s Rainbow as there are in The Godfather, it’s just that he made mistakes on the things that don’t matter for The Godfather. No film is perfect, but if it can latch onto this one magical aspect that connects you to it, that’s what makes you love it or not.
You had a project where you chart the best films made by directors at certain ages as you reached that age. Tell us more about it. That was a great project. I got the idea when I was 26. This was back when I had a Netflix DVD subscription and it was just hard for me to randomly choose DVDs to throw in the queue. I needed a system. I decided to watch movies from directors when they were my age and see if there’s some common denominator, something I can learn. At that point, there weren’t many, there were films like Boogie Nights and Fassbinder films. Not many people had made stuff when they were 26 or 27, so it was very feasible. Every year there were more movies and more directors to add to the list and it became time-consuming. I did it all the way up until I was 34 and the reason I stopped was because I had a son and there was no way I could continue this level of viewing output.
My favorite part of your account is the fact that you log every viewing of your own films. You know for a fact that you’ve watched Morris From America 26 times and Little Fish fifteen times. Why do you log them? What counts as a viewing? I’ve clearly watched those movies many more times in little chunks but I’ll only log it if we’re sitting down and watching it from beginning to end. I have a ticket to see Little Fish in the drive-in on Saturday, so it’s going to be logged again. Why do I do it? Like I said, I wish everyone was required to use Letterboxd comprehensively. That’s what it’s there for for me, an accurate log of what I watch. This is psychotic behavior but I’m tempted to have a Letterboxd account for my son. I’ll do his views for him once he starts watching movies until he’s old enough to take over. It’ll just be, like, Frozen a thousand times but he’s not old enough to watch anything yet, so we’ll see.
Have you discovered any films thanks to Letterboxd discourse that influenced your approach to filmmaking? For sure, I can’t maybe say specifically, but once I dropped the directors my own age system I didn’t replace it with nothing. I’m a Virgo and I have a little bit of OCD, so I have to have some system. I’ve replaced it with a new complicated system where I pull from different lists and that’s now my main source of how I choose a movie to watch. I have like ten or twelve different lists, each about a thousand movies with a lot of overlap. One of them is my own list of every movie I’ve seen in a theater and I’ll go and look through that and if it’s something I want to revisit. Recently I rewatched Twister, which I hadn’t seen in a long time and is an old favorite from when I was in high school.
I have a bunch of private lists I cycle through; every movie nominated for a Spirit Award, every movie that’s won an Oscar, every movie that’s played in competition at Cannes, the top 1,000 films at the box office. There’s another great website that I use as a biblical resource which is They Shoot Pictures, Don’t They? and their lists of acclaimed films for all-time and the 21st century. I hit those up often. Something that I watched purely because of the very high Letterboxd rating and really loved is Funeral Parade of Roses. I try to see as many movies as I can that have a 4.0 rating or higher.
You respect the Letterboxd consensus. I do, but I don’t always agree with it.
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‘Little Fish’ director Chad Hartigan.
Which is your most underrated or overlooked movie according to Letterboxd? I can say I was the very first person to log a movie called Witness in the City, which is an Italian noir movie I watched when I was doing my ‘directors my own age’ series. Literally nobody had logged it, so my review was like “whoa, I can’t believe I’m the first person to log this!”. It was very exciting for me because it’s great, but I’m the OG logger of that movie.
From your list of every film you’ve seen in a theater since you were twelve, which was your most memorable experience? The cheap answer is that it’s hard to top my own movies. The Sundance premiere of Morris From America at the Eccles Theater is maybe the best, but if I’m disqualifying my own films, seeing Scream 3 in a very packed theater in Virginia Beach was really fun, really rowdy. There was a trailer for a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie and I remember the climax was Van Damme going “you lied to me!!!” and everyone laughed. Someone did a George Costanza move later during Scream 3 and yelled out “you lied to me!!!” and everybody laughed again—so that’s a high. That’s the thing I miss the most about movie theaters, and the worry I have if theaters go away, is that so much of how we feel about a movie can be tied to the experience; who we saw it with, what we did before or after, what the crowd was like, or if anything strange happened. There are a lot of movies I have strong memories and affection for because of the experience of seeing them and I probably wouldn’t feel the same way about if I just watched it at home on my laptop.
I typically like to cap interviews off with what filmmakers thought was the best film of the past year, but we have your data to hand. For you, it’s Garrett Bradley’s documentary Time. Can you talk a bit about what makes the film stand out for you? One thing I learned about myself from the pandemic is that the motivation and desire to see new things is very closely tied to the theater-going experience for me. Once that was taken away and you could watch a new movie at home, it joins the pile of all the other movies. The fact that it’s new doesn’t really do anything for me. Why would I press play on Da 5 Bloods when I still haven’t seen Malcolm X? I gotta see Malcolm X! There wasn’t an urgency, so I saw far fewer films than in an ordinary year. But Time I found incredibly moving and important. Similar to what I liked about the Little Fish script, it’s so hyper-focused on one relationship and within that one story it has so much to say about larger issues and the world at large. It was an emotional and rich viewing experience.
‘Little Fish’ is on demand and playing in select theaters now. Images courtesy of IFC Films.
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sincerelyreidburke · 3 years
Text
A fic for day 2!
The 25 days of Kiersey continue! This is Thanksgiving-focused, but I wanted to get this one early in the countdown before Thanksgiving was too distant of an event. I’m counting this as a winter holiday.
For context, if you want or need it, here is a ficlet that will function as a faraway prequel to the events of the following fic.
In the summer between his sophomore and junior year, Quinn tours with a fictional production of a real Broadway show, Deaf West's Spring Awakening. I recently watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade and decided that Quinn Cooper needed to be in on that action. Here's what happened as a result.
Heaven forgive me, for it is LONG under that cut! I saw the opportunity for Quindo fluff in New York City, and I ran with it, my friends. Featuring Quinn’s tour friend Kyra (in person, finally!), some stereotypical NYC tourism shit, and, of course, the actual Thanksgiving festivities.
///
Playbill.com
November 1st
Summer Cast of Deaf West’s Spring Awakening To Perform At Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade
*
Tuesday
Kiersey, NH
 Technically, the official start of Quinn��s Thanksgiving break occurs at 1:15 on Tuesday, when his last class lets out. Walking across campus after he leaves the sciences building is, to be sure, a very freeing experience. But it’s not until he’s by the door at the house on Beech Street, with a packed bag over his shoulder and a train ticket in his pocket, that it truly feels like his break is beginning.
“I can’t believe you two are ditching out on Shaley Thanksgiving,” Ben tells him, shaking his head and mock-scowling, as he takes the keys to his Prius off a hook by the door. “After all I’ve done for you?”
Quinn smiles brightly, and offers Ben nothing but a shrug. “I’m sorry, Ben,” he hums, “but I’ll be thinking of you in spirit.”
“Wow, that’s so nice of you, Mini.” Ben puts a hand to his heart, with all the snark in the world still in his eyes. “It’s almost for a moment like you’re not ditching to go to the big city.”
Quinn hums contemplatively, then glances at the time on his phone. “Sebastián,” he calls, and hopes his voice travels up the stairs. “We’ve got to go! The train’s in twenty minutes!”
“Twenty-four,” corrects Remy, as he walks to the door to join them with his own bag in tow. “You’ve got time, Q.”
Quinn knows he does have time, but as they say in the theater, on time is ten minutes early. He smiles at Remy anyway, and sighs. “I suppose we do, don’t we?”
Remy shrugs. “The train station is, like, two seconds away.”
This is also true.
“You’ll have to forgive me, Ben,” he adds, while they’re waiting. “Goodness knows I’m grateful for your mother’s hospitality.”
“It’s okay.” Ben smirks. “On the bright side, this year you won’t have to deal with her being weird.”
Mrs. Shaley does say odd things, most of them thinly veiled discomfort about his existence as an openly gay man (Quinn, you are just so stylish! It must just be natural for you people), but Quinn is still grateful that she had him to her house last year all the same.
Remy, who is going home with Ben again this year for the brief break, looks to him now, and asks, “Will we see you on TV?”
Quinn smiles— he can’t help it— and dusts off his knit scarf where it’s wound around his neck. “I certainly hope you will,” he replies. “So long as the parade is on, I don’t see why you wouldn’t.”
“That’s awesome,” Remy says, with a smile of his own, and Ben adds, “I can’t wait to live-Tweet it and say I know you.”
He sighs into his hand. “Oh, Benjamin.” He’s about to call for Sebastián again— he did have the class that released the latest of all of them, so it makes sense he’s the last to be ready, but then again, he should have just packed last night— but before he can call him, the floor shakes with the unmistakable rhythm of him bounding down the stairs, and in another second, he’s joined them by the door.
“Sorry, baby.” With his backpack over his shoulder, Sebastián looks handsome enough that Quinn is willing to forget his previous punctuality stress. “I’m ready now.” He’s in his nice winter jacket, with the red scarf and matching hat, and he looks every bit prepared for the November streets of New York.
“Good,” Quinn says, simply, and fixes the way his scarf tucks into his jacket before he turns to nod at Ben. “We’re ready when you are, mister taxi service.”
“You’re an asshole,” Ben replies, “and let’s get outta here.”
The train station is only a three-minute drive from campus, and Ben and Remy drop them off there, with their own long drive to Providence awaiting them as they pull out of sight. Quinn feels as if he’s buzzing with adrenaline, with the excitement of the five days that lie ahead of them. Thanksgiving break may not be long, and in past years, it hasn’t been very eventful for him— freshman year, he stayed on campus, and last year at Ben’s house was nice but not particularly crazy— but this year is a whole new story.
This year, he gets a Thanksgiving break straight out of his wildest, most wonderful daydreams.
“Are you excited, cariño?” Sebastián asks him, as they’re waiting on the platform for the train, bundled up with their bags in the cold. Quinn feels like they’re at the start of a wonderful holiday movie.
“Of course I am.” He winds his arm up in his and remarks, “In fact, I can’t remember the last time I was quite this excited.”
Sebastián smiles. Under his knit cap, his curls are just a little windblown. Quinn has never seen a more handsome sight. “I’m excited for you,” he says, and kisses his forehead, and this is going to be the greatest school break ever.
*
Wednesday
New York, NY
 On their first full day in New York, Quinn has rehearsals. This makes sense, because the whole reason they’re in New York in the first place is so that Quinn can perform. Nando doesn’t even have enough words for how proud he is of him, and the performance hasn’t even happened yet.
Quinn is up bright and early Wednesday morning. He’s headed to the hotel convention center downstairs, where he’s meeting up with his castmates from over the summer for the first time since he left tour in August. Nando rolls over in bed— it’s still dark out— and smiles when he feels him a kiss to his cheek on his way out. He reaches out of the covers and feels around until he can grab Quinn’s hand in the dark.
He squeezes it, three times— their wordless way to say I love you. Quinn returns the three squeezes, kisses the back of his hand, and then turns to go, a silhouette in rehearsal clothes as he leaves.
The bed feels empty without him afterwards, but it’s still dark outside the windows of the room, so Nando falls asleep for another little while and dreams of 
When he wakes again, he has an interesting situation on his hands: time to himself, in the middle of New York City. He’s never been here before, but he’s fully prepared to become a huge tourist so he can visit some of the food spots he follows on Instagram.
At a respectable hour, he gets up, gets dressed, and does just that in Quinn’s absence. A few very successful dessert-for-breakfast experiences later, he heads back to the hotel to FaceTime Mama and his sisters.
“Can we watch him on TV?” Gabi asks.
“Is he gonna be on one of the floats?” adds Rosa.
“Well, not exactly on a float,” Nando tells them, “but yeah, you can watch him on TV! I don’t know when he’s on, but he’ll know, so I’ll text you guys later.”
“Wish him luck for us,” Mama says, with a warm smile, and Nando smiles, too. It’s not that often you spend Thanksgiving in New York, when your family is thousands of miles away and your friends hundreds, but it’s also not often that your boyfriend, the love of your life, your favorite person in the entire world, is performing at the Thanksgiving Day Parade, so. Y’know.
Nando didn’t know it was possible to be this cheeky with pride.
At noon, he goes downstairs to pick Quinn up from rehearsal. He’ll have a busy Thursday, what with the parade and everything, but for the rest of the day, their time is entirely theirs.
It’s kind of easy to tell where the cast people are coming from, because one of Nando’s various acquired skills from the course the two years so far of this relationship is being able to spot Deaf people in public. It’s really not hard. Just watch for flying hands!
That’s how he spots Quinn— leaving the convention area, among his fellow Deaf West people, or— Kyra, actually, to be more specific. Nando hasn’t seen Kyra in months, since July, actually, when he met her on their Phoenix Spring Awakening tour stop. Her hair is different— in space buns instead of her afro— and she’s wearing a bright orange sweater, which, if her Instagram is accurate, is right in line with her sunshine aesthetic. She was amazing on tour; she’s such a talented person.
She walks side by side with Quinn, and they’re moving kind of slowly because they’re turned halfway toward each other to talk. Their hands move a mile a minute, and Nando knows a good amount of sign, but can’t keep up with this rapid conversation.
Lucky for him, he doesn’t have to. Quinn and Kyra seem to see him at the same time— and Kyra signs something he does understand, with this huge, bright smile. Literally, her sign means cactus and S, but Nando knows that’s just his sign name.
He waves across the lobby, then signs back to her— sunshine and K, for Kyra, and she lights up even more. She runs the rest of the way over, and Quinn goes after her.
How are you? he asks, and Kyra looks so excited that she almost jumps up and down.
They get to hold a small conversation in sign, and Nando loves catching up with Kyra but sort of loves even more how Quinn smiles as he watches them talk, like he’s glad they’re interacting, and it’s just— it’s wholesome. It’s great. Kyra is great, and he’s just so happy for Quinn that he gets to see her and all his tour friends again. He was sad to part with them at the end of the summer.
Kyra’s mom is in the city with her, so they part ways when she arrives; Quinn has another brief and very fast sign conversation with her as she’s leaving. Nando figures it’s probably just ‘see you tomorrow,’ but you never know.
“Baby,” he whispers, leaning down to him as they start side-by-side toward the elevator, “you have to hear about the churro I found this morning.”
Quinn laughs, and looks up to him, winding his arm in his elbow. Nando thinks they were meant to fit together this way. It’s so natural, and so easy. “I would love to hear about that.”
“I took pictures and everything,” he says, then pauses to press the button and hail the elevator. He looks to him again to add, “But also, how was rehearsal? Can I take you out to lunch?”
“Out to lunch?” Quinn swoons. “You must be trying to get in my good graces.”
He pretends to pout. “Am I not already in your good graces?”
Quinn swats at his chest. “Oh, don’t be a drama queen.”
He kind of wants to point out that Quinn, rather than he, is the one who just got out of several hours of pro theatre rehearsal— but he guesses that would be telling him what he already knows. Instead, he grins and shrugs, then kisses his forehead. The elevator dings upon arrival. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he says, and they have a very good afternoon.
*
Thursday
 It’s absolutely frigid outside, and it’s six in the morning, and Quinn is having the time of his life.
He’s huddled on a couch with his castmates, in a trailer, waiting for the day to begin— though he supposes it’s already started, given his five o’clock wake-up call. He thought the tour was exciting, and truly, it was, but this is a whole other excitement entirely— being in New York, with so many performers all in one small place, knowing what lies in store for his day.
Life, he thinks, is maybe a dream come true right now. From coming here with Sebastián to getting to perform, there are so many things he’s grateful for, so many experiences he feels so lucky to have. This is no exception, as he sits in the trailer, with space heaters warming his feet and cast friends on either side. It’s like being back on tour, except this time, it’s one time only. He has to make it count.
And… yes. Quinn is decided. He is going to be completely obnoxious on Instagram today. To start it out, he nudges Kyra, who sits directly next to him, and opens the front camera on his phone.
Kyra lights up for the camera— she truly is the human embodiment of the sun, and Quinn is honestly a little jealous of how good and put-together she already looks at six in the morning. She’s wearing yellow earmuffs that sort of match the gold rims on her glasses, and she hooks an arm around his neck to lean into the picture. Her cheek is warm against his, and he laughs. On his other side, their friend Minji pushes into the camera, too, and flashes a heart at the camera with her thumb and pointer picture together.
Are you posting that? Minji asks, once he’s snapped the selfie.
He puts his phone down and grins. Obviously, I’m posting it.
He’s hunting for stickers to put it on his story when it becomes something of a ‘thing’— the various other friends and castmates around him realize he’s taking pictures, and then, right as he gets the selfie up on his story with a little turkey sticker, everyone is clustering for another.
Group shot!
Let us be on your Instagram!
Yeah, we need a reunion picture.
Hang on, he tells them, and laughs, then climbs up onto the edge of the couch. He faces them to add, I’m not tall enough for that, and while they laugh at his height’s expense, he rolls his eyes and opens his camera again.
Smile! he signs into the camera, and then clicks the button a few times so he’ll have options to choose from. This one should be a post, not a story, he decides. He thinks there are enough cast members in it to maybe send it to production staff. Not to pat himself on the back or anything. Really, he just wants to document these moments with his friends, while they’re all still in one place again.
Oh, you know what we should do? he says to Kyra, as he’s sitting down on the arm of the couch. A before and after picture, with costumes.
Kyra grins, and she nods. They did posts like that several times, over tour— a picture before you get costumed, and then the same picture but after you’re ready to go onstage. We should make a TikTok, Kyra says.
He laughs. Oh, goodness, he says, but he knows he’ll probably wind up doing just that. He has a feeling his social media will be quite alive and well by the end of the day today.
He wants to hold every part of this day in his memory, so he’ll never forget what this feels like.
*
It’s been three months since Quinn got to be Moritz Stiefel.
Though it took a lot out of him this summer, it’s a role he’s missed sorely, and he doesn’t usually get to go back to playing characters whose shows have come to a close for him. He supposes today is a bit of an exception, and, to be sure, he’s been excited for today since the very moment he learned this performance would be happening— but it’s not real, exactly, until he sees himself in a mirror, in costume.
He knows this version of himself, though he hasn’t seen it in awhile. His hair is mussed up, and the school uniform costume fits just as it’s supposed to, with a crooked tie and a tall pair of socks. He isn’t mic’d yet— that’s a step they’ll reach later this morning, with the sound technicians at the parade, and his hearing aids have been out for several hours; they’re tucked into his jacket pocket right now.
The mirror in the trailer is small, and he smiles at himself in it. He always likes this part, performing— when he gets to see himself as the character he’s going to be. Today, it’ll only be for five minutes— but five minutes of glory, on television, with his friends from the summer, and so they’re bound to be some of the most exhilarating five minutes of his life.
He doesn’t want to get a big head, but the fact that so many people will be watching… that’s a lot to take in. On the street, in person, Sebastián will be watching, too, and that’s something he’s very mindful of.
Kyra is putting flowers into her hair, at the small mirror next to him. He grabs his phone to wave it at her, and she grins, then signs for him to wait one second, so he does.
Just like old times, she says, when she’s done, and then lets him take their picture in the mirror. He sends it off to Sebastián first, then puts it on his steadily growing Instagram story.
It is just like old times. Quinn doesn’t want the day to be over, and it’s barely begun.
*
Of all the places he’s performed, Quinn has to say that the streets of New York City rank high.
The morning is a blur— move from place to place, let people tell you where to be, get briefed by tech people who know a lot more about what’s going on than he does. Comply, because that’s what you do. Warm up your voice. Take so many pictures that your phone starts to yell at you that it’s running out of storage.
From a distance, spot someone who looks an awful lot like your boyfriend on the side of the street. You can tell it’s him, because you knit that red scarf for him two Christmases ago. It’s his color, undoubtedly. Kyra signs his name at him from afar, but he doesn’t see either of you. Until you go on.
You get a little nervous, but you don’t have time to be nervous, because you’re on the move and you’re waiting to perform, and then— you blink, a rush of adrenaline, and it’s over.
And you just did what actors all over the country dream of doing.
There aren’t words for that in English or in sign.
*
Friday
 On Friday morning, when Quinn wakes up, it’s snowing.
He doesn’t realize it at first. He’s tucked beneath Sebastián in their hotel bed, waking from a sleep so deep and welcome it felt truly heavenly, buried between covers and warm weight. He opens his eyes to gentle, natural light in the room, a sure sign they slept in, and he blinks a few times before he realizes what he’s seeing in the nearby window.
Snow. So much snow, and falling fast. Goodness, it’s beautiful. The view isn’t bad, either; Manhattan is a sea of buildings, and this snapshot of glass is only a glance. The snow is so peaceful, coupled with the thought that they have nowhere to go, nowhere to be. After the dream come true that was yesterday— the parade, the performance, getting dinner with Sebastián and Kyra at some diner with no other patrons in the middle of the Thanksgiving afternoon— he could use to rest and reflect.
Quinn knows it’s cliché, but he truly does love this city.
He threads his fingers into Sebastián’s curls, and pulls his head close to his chest, and rests in bed while he watches the snow come down.
Some time later, when Sebastián has woken, he gets to spend a lazy, snowy morning in bed, and between gentle kisses, he tells him there’s nowhere else he would rather be.
*
Saturday
 “Can you keep up, baby?”
Nando knows a retort is coming before it even does, but he still grins when Quinn pipes up, from a few feet behind him, “Oh, you just mind your business, Sebastián; I am fine.”
As if to prove it, he closes the small space between them and skates up by his side. Nando knows that getting out on the ice and immediately taunting him was not practical, but it was entertaining, and he likes that Quinn’s cheeks are flushing now. He holds out his elbow, like a peace offering, and Quinn wraps his gloved hand up in it.
“You wanna take a winter stroll?” Nando asks him, with a wink down in his direction.
“This is hardly a stroll,” Quinn replies, in that know-it-all voice that drives Nando crazy in the best way possible. “It’s more of a glide,” he adds, and with that, they start skating along.
“That’s fair,” Nando replies, and tips his head up to take in the view.
He couldn’t spend any weekend even slightly related to the holiday season in New York City without going ice skating under the huge tree. Because first of all, it’s in every New York Christmas movie ever, and second, one of his and Quinn’s first dates was skating, and third, he fricking loves to skate, and fourth, this is his life, so there.
“This is breathtaking,” Quinn remarks, and that’s an understatement. There are enough lights on the tree to probably show up from space, and Nando has learned over the past few days how huge this city actually is, but being right here in the middle of everything just reinforces that truth. They skate along in the throngs of other people, which is part of the tourist experience, and honestly just makes it even better. Nando has seen this on TV so many times. He can’t believe he’s actually here. Pretty much everything about this weekend has been like some kind of dream situation where crazy things you imagine actually come true.
And speaking of dreams. He looks down to Quinn, and it’s, like, okay— cheesy, but the lights are all reflecting in his eyes, and he’s bundled in his scarf and peacoat, and he’s the prettiest thing Nando has ever seen. Including the giant tree. Including everything.
Quinn catches him looking. Of course he does. He smiles, rosy-cheeked and windblown, and hums, “What?”
“I love you,” Nando replies, and kisses him right in the middle of everything.
Quinn laughs out of the kiss. He stays tight on his arm, and somehow, they keep skating without falling. Nando thanks his hockey side for that.
“I love you, too,” Quinn replies, and his voice could block out all the noise of the whole city.
They’re the center of the world.
*
Sunday
Kiersey, NH
 The whole way home to Kiersey, Quinn sleeps on Sebastián’s shoulder.
It’s unintentional, but peaceful all the same, dreams full of memories of the weekend. He gets into his seat at Grand Central Station, slumps against him, and wakes to his gentle nudging hours later, so they can change trains in Boston. The next ride is shorter, but he rests again anyways, and the gray November day is dimming outside the train windows when he opens his eyes at the Kiersey station.
They walk back to campus— it isn’t far. Sebastián is holding both of their bags, and Quinn is holding nothing but his arm. It’s chilly, but bundled up, it isn’t so bad. With this boy, Quinn is so very warm. By the time they round the corner onto Beech Street, lines of student houses with warm windows stretching down either side of the familiar road, the sun has gone down.
On the front steps, Quinn pulls his hands out and looks up to him. He hasn’t had his hearing aids on in over twenty-four hours, and it’s been the most liberating and lovely experience. Before they re-enter the chaos of the hockey house and he’ll have to put them in again, he wants to sign him one last thing.
Thank you for joining me, he says, once he has his gaze. I love you so much.
Sebastián smiles. He puts the bags down by the door, rests both hands on his shoulders, and kisses him gently. No wintry breeze could stop the warmth in Quinn’s chest.
When he’s pulled back, Sebastián replies, I’d join you anywhere. I love you, too.
Quinn beams at him, and with one more shared, quiet moment, Sebastián picks up the bags, and Quinn leans into the front door and pushes it open. Hey, people! he reads on Sebastián’s lips, no doubt a loud exclamation, as they cross the threshold together. We’re home!
Home, indeed. Quinn closes the door behind them, and the warm, familiar, slightly chaotic embrace of Beech Street welcomes them back.
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Survey #283
“if teardrops could be bottled, there’d be swimming pools filled by models”
How much would you tip a waiter or waitress for good service? I honestly don’t even know the proper etiquette of tipping because I almost never ever have been in a sit-down restaurant where I’ve paid because of the whole “I don’t have an income” thing. If for whatever reason I did, I would have asked the person with me how. I do (maybe…) believe however that there should be a baseline for how much you tip, even if your experience is somewhat unpleasant. You don’t know what that person is going through that day. If it’s just pure awful, then I might not tip at all, but I think I’d honestly feel way too guilty. Who is your favorite character from the television sitcom Friends? I don’t watch it. Whose name might you have tattooed on your body? None. Well, I guess if I had hypothetical kids, I might, especially as a tribute if they died. What is something that you always need to leave plugged in? I always at least have my laptop charger plugged into the wall, but not always into my computer as to not totally kill the battery. I just need it a lot because I’m only always on it. Who might you send a selfie to? I don’t send them to anyone, really, save for specific occasions. I just take selfies once in a blue moon to change my Facebook picture, honestly. I feel weird just sending people pictures of me because I feel like I’m screaming, “HEY LOOK AND COMPLIMENT ME!!!!!!!!!”, so it makes me uncomfortable. I only did semi-recently because my friend did my makeup for a Halloween shoot and for once in my goddamn life I felt really pretty so sent it to Sara. Name an item in or on your bed every night. My phone is on the right upper corner of my bed so I can check it when I wake up; I always wake up throughout the night and wanna know what time it is. Out of your work shift, how much time do you spend doing “actual work”? Well one, define “actual work,” but odds are almost zero because I don’t have shit to do. How long do your New Years resolutions typically last? I don’t make ‘em. Who would you call first after getting engaged to tell them the news? Most likely Mom. What’s the song that reminds you of the person you like?Okay so deadass I listened to NSP’s “Wish You Were Here” cover recently and kinda cried lol. Are you good at holding back your tears? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love? My goddamn sanity. How many jobs do you have? None. Do you have any memories you want to erase? There’s one occasion with Jason I wish I could forget so, so badly. Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”? No. I don’t believe in pre-determined destinies and such, and thus I don’t see anything as “meant” and “not meant” to be. Do you believe in destiny? Wow, good timing lmao. Do you believe that things will get better? I like to think so. Have you ever drunk dialed someone? No. Have you ever worn a tiara? Haha, I think on my 18th birthday maybe, my friend Summer came with us to dinner and brought me a birthday tiara. If someone offered to take you out for your birthday, where would you decide to go? I almost always go to Olive Garden for dinner. But, after trying the Cheesecake Factory for the first time… *eyes emoji* If you plan to have kids, what will you tell them about Santa Clause? I’m not having kids, but hypothetically, I’d let them believe it. It’s so magical as a kid and brings so much excitement. I’d tell them the truth when it feels appropriate, and if I know they’re not the type to go telling other kids for no reason “HEY MY MOM SAID SANTA’S NOT REAL SO UR DUMB.” I’d be damned if they ruined it for other children. If you have ever been employed, have you ever been attracted to your boss? What about a co-worker? Not that I remember. Do [would] you avoid kissing your [possibly hypothetical] significant other when you or they are ill? Look man I made out with my ex while he was recovering from bronchitis before we knew it wasn’t contagious so OOPS yeah because I am 110% the “if you’re sick, I’m sick” dumbass all the while going FULL Mom Mode taking care of the person. What was the last thing you bought, other than food? With my own money, that is a daaaamn good question. I only really use it/am given it for food. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? No. Who was the last person you Facebook messaged? Do you know what that person is doing at this moment? My mom. She’s in the living room watching TV, probably. Think back to the last time you cried, or felt like crying. Who or what helped you to feel better? My mom. Do you own any accessories with your name or initial on them? No, they don’t appeal to me. Is there someone of the opposite sex that knows everything, or almost everything, about you? I would say Jason, but we haven’t seen or spoken to each other for almost four years, and I’m a much different person by now, and I’m sure he is, too. Do you remember the last time you cried because you missed someone? A few weeks back I had a breakdown over Jason again. My PTSD was and still is being pretty rough lately. Are your eyes the same color as your sibling(s)? Just my brother. Anything in your room that you’re hiding from your parents, or someone else? No. What’s your most noticeable flaw? Thinking about it, probably my extreme aversion to conflict. I will BOLT from confrontation. And what’s your best feature? I’m extremely empathetic. Have you ever hallucinated? Yeah; I would see shadows move when I was coming off a certain med. Do you have fangirl-ish tendencies? ………………. Have you ever replied “OK” when someone confessed they liked you? Wow, no. Either admit reciprocated feelings or gently turn them down. The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, or The Beatles? OHHHHHHHH BUDDY. Led Zeppelin, I think… but maybe the Stones. Idk. What would you do for immortality and infinite youth? Nothing. Would you rather have a pool or a hot tub? A pool. Is your handwriting legible? Yes. Well, some people find it slightly difficult because it’s kinda fancy. Have you ever held a baby chick? Yes! Do you think ‘everything bagels’ are disgusting? I’m not a fan. Do you live with anyone that you try to avoid at all costs? No. What did you last get upset about? How incredibly fuckin weak my body is. When is the last time you personally made someone else cry? I don’t know. How many more people do you think you’ll kiss before you die? Hopefully only one. I do NOT want to deal with anymore heartbreak, nor do I want to waste anymore time with someone I’m not going to spend the rest of my life with. Are you more spiritual or religious? Spiritual. Ever been to a rave? Nooooo, most definitely not my scene. Are you afraid to name the person you talk the most shit about? No. Song playing right now? I’m listening to “PRESIDENT X” by 3TEETH rn. Have you ever laughed at someone because they had a funny name? No, that’s incredibly rude. Speaking of names, why do celebrities always call their kids stupid ones? They’re not all “stupid”…? There are some beautiful names I’ve heard. It’s none of my business why others’ children are named what they are. Do you get car sick easily? I don’t. Do you think you’re a good conversationalist? Why is that? NO. I’m just awkward and don’t know what to talk about or what to say back to people a lot. Awhile back though my friend Ian told me I was actually a really nice one and it meant a LOT to me. Hearing someone say that reassured me a little bit. Have you ever been on a float in a parade? What were you doing on it? No. Have you ever been in a helicopter? No. Have you ever had chicken pox? No. Who is your favorite animated character? Oh boy that’s hard man, idk. Maybe Ninetales, at least aesthetically. Idk about as characters themselves. Is it easy to make you gag? Yeah. Who’s your favorite Disney character? Probably Scar. Would you rather have a pet crocodile or a pet octopus? I deadass kinda want a caiman lol. It’s something I doubt I’ll actually do, though. Do you like Ritz crackers? Yeah. Do you have any designer clothing? If so what brand? No. Were you afraid of the dark when you were little? Not very, no. What are your opinions on war in general? It’s fucking awful and could be avoided if people weren’t so goddamn hasty, selfish, and uncompromising, among many other adjectives. Do you like pretzels? Yessss, especially soft ones. Have you ever wanted to be a writer? Yeah, tons of times in my life on-and-off. Did you even vote? This is the very first year I actually did. I felt really bad for not acting, only complaining about my government, and “silence speaks” was heavy on my head. Did some research to educate myself, and I felt amazing afterwards. What is your favorite flavor of gum? Usually watermelon. Are you wearing any bandaids? If so, where and why? No. Do you currently have any bruises on you? No. Do you/did you like or dislike school? I always hated it. Are you currently wearing any lotion? No. Do you ever make recipes found online? What was the last one? I don’t cook, so… but there sure are some that look good. If you smoke weed, what do you usually do after you get high? If you don’t, what would you do if everyone around you were smoking? I never have, so I wouldn’t know. Haha, for the second half, sit there awkwardly… been there once. What’s the last thing you ordered online? The next Wings of Fire book. Starting Sunny’s story now. Tell me about your favorite dress. I had this spring dress in high school that was white with purple skulls on it in a floral design… It was really cute and just has a special memory tied to it. Have you ever slept in a waterbed? If so, what was it like? Yeah, that used to be considered “fun” as a kid. They’re not awful, but not that comfortable either, and if I remember well, it’s easy to get sweaty because of the material. How many floors does your house have? Just one. Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Yes. Do you enjoy sappy love songs? Hell yeah I do. Do you ever buy the same shirt in different colors? Simple tank tops, yeah. Ever made out on a rooftop? Damn dude no I’d be paranoid of falling off lmao. One place you will never eat at? Arby’s. If someone went through your pictures, would they find a "bad" one? Nope.
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