#I wish we could’ve seen them interact more

[aviawrites]

when we were teenagers (challengers)

pairings/relationships: tashi duncan x sister!reader, patrick zweig x fem!reader, art donaldson x fem!reader

summary: Tashi Duncan’s younger sister, Ava Duncan, never gets a chance to be seen past her sister’s shadow. When Ava gets injured and Tashi starts gaining fame, the two become more and more at odds with each other. Tashi juggles Art and Patrick while Ava struggles to keep up. When over a decade passes and a peace isn’t reached, either the Donaldsons or Zweigs, either Tashi or Ava, has to come out on top. (7.2k)

a/n: you know the movie was good when you have to rewatch so you have all the info for the fic🥴 with that being said, the dates and stuff may be a little off but i did my best with what wikipedia had to offer. regardless, im a patrick zweig stan 4L. anyway, as always, ur interaction is greatly appreciated, ily<3

warnings: description of injury, allusions to sex/almost a smut scene, swearing

in this story, yn is: Ava Duncan

March 16, 2006 //📍home, 9:35pm

The goofy grin on the brunette’s face and the blond’s childish giggle replays over and over in your head. Your mother’s muffled snores mix with Art’s laughs as a smile grows on your face, your eyes closed. 

You’ve found yourself in this position too many times, imagining what could’ve been if the cute guys were eyeing you rather than your sister. But you’ve experienced it enough times to not even be hurt by it anymore. No guys approach you at volleyball events, especially not hot ones. So if anything, you find some comfort in lying upside down on the corduroy couch making up scenarios in your head. 

The click of the front door forces your eyes open, sitting upright and perking up like a dog as your sister tip toes through the door.  

“So…” You rest your chin on your fist, “Which one was it?”

“Shh,” Tashi smiles, pointing to your mom’s closed door. “Which one was what?”

“Come on,” You continue as she stands in front of you, “Which one did you…Y’know.”

“Oh my- Neither of them, Ava.”

“What!?”

“Shh!”

You lower your tone, “Seriously? You were alone with them both and didn’t make a move?”

“It wasn’t like that.” She laughs, “They’re like…I dunno, they’re weird.”

You scrunch your face up, “What, are they gay?”

She pauses, cocking her head.

“They’re actually gay?”

“No, no they’re not.” She giggles, “I just didn’t do anything with them. I mean we kissed but that’s it.” 

“Did you kiss the blond?” You interrogate, “I really like the blond…”

“His name is Art and I kissed them both.” She smirks.

You roll your eyes, “Whatever.”

Tashi laughs at you, plopping next to you on the couch and resting her legs across yours.

“They did ask for my number again.”

“What’d you tell them?” You stroke her leg.

“I said whoever wins the match tomorrow gets it.”

“God, I wish.” You sigh, throwing your head back. “I’d kill to see Art just one more time…”

———

May 15th, 2006 //📍home, 6:00pm

You wince as your mom tightens the brace, covering your face in frustration.

“It’s okay, baby.” She kisses your head, “You tell me if you need anything, okay?”

You nod as she presses one more kiss onto your hair before walking out, leaving you alone with your thoughts. 

Almost every athlete you know has been injured before, half of the girls on your team are covered in braces and tape all season. A torn ACL seems more like a right of passage than a serious and life changing injury. But when you heard the pop and felt the ligament rip, it was almost immediate; The realization that you very well may never play again. You’re not sure if yours was worse than others or if you’re just weaker, but the trauma of the blistering pain has turned you away from getting back on the court for the last month. 

You already can tell who’s on the other side of the door from the lack of a knock. You internally sigh, wanting to be left alone, as Tashi sits at the foot of your bed. 

“Hey, I was thinking we could go to the courts today. I could practice with you.” 

“Tashi…”

“I know you haven’t been wanting to go but since you just hit a month I was thinking, you know, maybe you’d want to start working again.”

You shake your head, “Tashi, I don’t think I’m ready.”

“When will you be?” She asks, her voice stern.

You stare at her, “I don’t know, Tashi. Why?”

“I’m just saying Ava, it’s not good to stop for this long. Some people never get back out there and you have to at least try.”

“I am trying.” You raise your voice, “My insides tore apart. Sorry if I’m not eager to put pressure on myself again.”

“There’s no pressure I’m just asking you to get up and at least walk on a court again.”

“What if I don’t want to?”

“Why the fuck not?” 

“Because I’m fucking scared, Tashi!” You shout, tears falling from your eyes. “I’m fucking scared of it happening again! I am not ready!”

She stares at you, a look that you can only describe as disgust on her face.

“…You don’t even want to drive out there just to see-“

“Get out.” You cover your eyes, a headache creeping up on you.

“Ava, I’m not going to let you waste away in here-“

“Get the fuck out of my room or I’m calling mom.” You stare back at her, “Go.” 

She stands, giving you one last look of disapproval before leaving, slighting slamming your door behind her.

———

September 18th, 2006 //📍Stanford Tennis Courts, 5:00pm

“Passing…Down the line…Cross…”

Tashi’s grunts echo throughout the court as you throw shots at her, a pile of green tennis balls forming behind you. It took a few weeks but she got you back on the court, just not the volleyball courts. You’ve watched Tashi’s practices long enough to know the game, so when you reluctantly offered to help her train, she jumped at the opportunity.

You zone out, robotically tossing the balls as Tashi dashes across the court. You silently hope for a specific someone show up. Patrick Zweig had your sister in his phone and occasionally in his bed, but Art Donaldson was a free man. The only Duncan in his phone was Ava, an achievement that you pride yourself on even weeks later. 

Sure, the two of you aren’t a thing, not the way Tashi and Patrick are. But you’re happy to be anything with Art, so the talking stage that you seem to be stuck in doesn’t bother you at all. You can only pray that it’ll blossom into something. Something meaning you being Ava Donaldson in the near future.

As if you summoned him, a very familiar blond boy opens the wire door, locking eyes with you. Your heart skips a beat when he waves at you, your hand immediately dropping the ball and waving back.

Your sister turns around to see Art, a smile growing on her face as she walks over to him. She wraps her arms around him, pulling him in for a hug as you watch. They barely pull away before Tashi begins chatting, her face too close to his for your liking. 

Across the court, they’re too far for you to hear their conversation. But judging from Art’s hand draped over her waist and her arm resting on his shoulder, you see enough to be angry. You can only look down, waiting for the conversation, along with your humiliation, to end. 

After an abundance of giggles, Art turns and walks away, giving you another wave. 

“I’ll see you.” He smiles.

You purse your lips, terribly embarrassed as you nod, “Yeah. Good seeing you, Art.”

The door shuts and with it, your smile drops. Tashi gets back into position like nothing happened, waiting with her racquet. Playing along, you throw her the ball. Only, you don’t call the drill. You throw with a little more force and much more unpredictability as the anger in you rises. 

“Ava…” Tashi calls, frantically chasing the ball. 

It’s only when the ball flies past her head, barely missing her, that she stops.

“Ava, what the fuck!?”

She walks toward you, meeting you at the net.

She shrugs, “What’s up, what’s going on?”

“Are you serious?”

She only looks at you, confused.

“Tashi, come on. You were literally all over him.”

“Wh- Art?” She deciphers, “Oh, Ava my bad I didn’t mean- I really didn’t mean to.”

“Yeah, sure you didn’t.”

“Seriously, I didn’t. He’s my friend I was just saying hey.”

“Saying hey with your arms around each other? That’s bullshit, just say you still like him.” You look down, mumbling. “It’s fine, it’s just annoying that you go after every guy I like knowing they’ll choose you.”

“Hey…” Tashi softens her tone, stepping over the net and nearing you. “Ava.”

“What?” You look at the ground.

“I didn’t mean it like that…” She insists, “I’m just stressed with school and stuff, he’s the only one who gets it.”

“Right.” You roll your eyes, not in the mood for ‘I’m stressed,’ to be the excuse for going after your guy. “It’s not like I go to school too or anything.”

“No, I know you do. It’s just…Stanford’s different, you know?”

“Whatever.”

“Ava,” She lifts your chin to look at her, “I’m sorry, okay?”

The two of you ogle at each other as she waits for an answer. She always does this, almost forces you into accepting her apology which you do not.

“We good?” She asks.

“…Yeah, sure.” You shrug, pulling away from her, “It’s whatever.”

Tashi just looks at you once more, seemingly satisfied as she steps back over the net. She gets back into position as you pick up another ball, a look still on your face.

“Down the line.”

———

December 21st, 2006 //📍Stanford Dining Hall, 12:00pm

“How many?” The employee asks.

“Umm, can I have three?” You lean on the counter, “Or four, actually.”

She reaches under the counter before handing you four mayo packets.

“Thanks.”

You start the walk back toward the table, Patrick having picked the one in the far back. He clearly hasn’t returned from the bathroom as you see Art and Tashi still sitting alone. As you near them, you catch a glimpse of their conversation.

“Don’t you think you deserve it?” Art asks, his eyes so focused on your sister that he doesn’t see you walking up. “I mean, who wouldn’t be u  love with you?”

Tashi doesn’t respond, only angrily stands and walks away, nearly knocking you over. She passes you, smoke practically coming out of her ears. You watch her go before sitting where she was, handing Art the packets.

“Thanks.” He smiles, “Patrick still in there?”

“I guess so.” You laugh, insecurity lacing your voice as you simultaneously try to decode the conversation they were having.

“I’m so not surprised.” He takes the bun off of his burger and tears open the white packet with his teeth.

You watch him, hesitant to speak. Though, your words spill out before you can stop them.

“Do you ever wish Patrick let you win the match?” You ask.

Art looks up at you, mid squeeze. He cracks an unsure smile.

“What kind of question is that?” He laughs.

“I don’t know,” You do the same, tragically self conscious. “Maybe you wonder what it’d be like to date my sister or something. I don’t know, it’s stupid.” You look down, fiddling with your fingers.

Art pauses, putting his burger down and placing his hands on yours.

“Hey,” He grabs your attention, “I’m here with you today. 

You smile, “No, I know. It’s just…She’s like better than me in every way so I wouldn’t blame you.” You chuckle.

“What? I don’t think so, I think you’re great.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t get in to Stanford. Nor do I win all of the tennis tournament or-“

“Ava,” Art stops you, shaking your head. “You’re just as good as Tashi.”

Your eyes tread on each other as you try your hardest to believe him. But you do realize that this is the exact same way he looked at Tashi on the courts. 

The two of you are snapped out of it as Patrick returns, taking his seat next to Art.

“Sorry, they had like no toilet paper.”

“Oh good, thanks for letting us all know you took a shit, bud.” 

“Whatever. Ava doesn’t give a shit, right?”

“No,” You laugh, “You’re all good, Pat.”

———

📍Tashi’s dorm, 2:00pm

“So if he’s seeing other girls I won’t even fucking know now.” Tashi vents, stretching for her match.

You scroll on your phone, sitting at her desk. “It sounds like he was just trying to be nice, Tash. He was trying to help you out-“

“No, he’s not nice. Nothing about them is nice, Ava. They’re fucking weirdos, both of them. Art just hides behind this persona that he’s so caring and team Duncan when really he wants the same thing from me as Patrick.”

‘He wants the same thing from me.’

You sigh, tired of hearing the same things and watching her run back to them minutes later.

“Then stop complaining and fucking leave him already.” 

Tashi stops in her lunge, “What?”

“You keep complaining about them.” You grunt, “If you really didn’t want the attention you’d just drop them both.”

“If I didn’t want the attention?”

“Yes.” 

“The fuck does that mean?”

“Exactly what I said.” You say, irritated.

“Ava…” She stands up, looking down at you. You continue scrolling until your phone is snatched from you. “Hey.”

“What the-“

“Do you have something to say to me?”

“Give me my phone back.” You stand up, reaching for it.

“No, say what you mean.”

“Really?” You grab for your phone once more but she pulls it away from you like a child, “Fuck - Okay, Tashi, all you talk about is how hard your life is. How hard training is for a tournament that you know you're going to win. How hard it is dating a famous and touring athlete. How hard it is being friends with the nicest guy who only wants to help you. How fucking hard it is to have two guys fighting over you. How hard it is to go to an ivy league. How hard it is to live the fucking dream. How about you actually do something about it instead of rubbing it in our faces that you're above us and can play with two guys at once because you're so fucking amazing?"

The two of you stand nose to nose, a stance Tashi used to always initiate in order to intimidate you.

“How long have you felt this way?” She asks, her breath shaking.

“Ever since you became the Tashi Duncan and I was left in the dust. Now give me my phone.”

“Are you fucking serious, Ava? You think I asked for this?”

“Asked for what? A great life where you succeed in fucking everything? No, Tashi, you didn't have to ask for it. We worked so fucking hard and only you survived it. I succumbed to my fate, I quit my dream, I went to a shitty college, had shitty friends, watched shitty games, and watched the boys I liked fight for my sister. But no; Please, continue bitching about your hard situation." 

You snatch your phone from her hands, walking toward the door. "Good luck at your fucking match."

———

2:45pm

You barely look up as you exit the library, occupied with connecting your earbuds to your phone. It’s only when you see a familiar black head of hair sitting in the common area that you stop. 

“Patrick?”

He looks back, taking his feet off of the Stanford branded coffee table.

“Oh, hey Ava.” He makes space for you to sit beside him on the small loveseat. “How’s it goin’?”

“Good, um…” You put your stuff on the floor and sit next to him, “Why aren’t you at the tournament?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” He smiles that same crooked smile from the night you met him.

You curl your legs up, leaving your arm on the back of the seat. “Did y’all fight too?”

Patrick leans back, looking over at you. “Yeah. Yeah, we did.” He laughs.

“What was yours about?” You pry, smiling.

“Uh,” He rubs his eye, “Just…not letting her control me. I’m my own boss kind of shit.”

“Seriously?”

“…Yeah, why?”

“That’s what our fight was about too!” You burst into giggles, “Well, not her controlling me but her controlling you. And Art, him too.”

“Shit? Art too?”

“Yeah, I mean, especially Art. You’re the only one who stands up to her bullshit.”

“Oh yeah?” He asks, “I don’t know, you seem to put up a good fight.”

“Yeah, but I’m her sister. It’s takes a brave man to break free of Tashi Duncan.”

“Oh god, did I break free?”

“You definitely broke free.” The two of you laugh.

“No but I see what you’re saying, she definitely had me whipped.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Like I remember one time,” He turns toward you, getting comfy, “The first time her and I, um…”

“Oh, Jesus.” You cover your face.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He laughs, “But the first time we did, I remember she said she’d leave me if I told anyone. And I was head over heels, so of course I didn’t want to tell, right?”

“Right.”

“But Art’s my guy, y’know? So instead of being straight up and jeopardizing Tashi’s love, we made this stupid ass signal.” He tells in between laughs, “The way that Art serves - Like, you know how he puts the ball at the neck of his racquet?”

“Yeah, yeah.” You listen intently.

“Well, if I served that way, that meant yes, we did sleep together, And if I served my way, it meant we didn’t.”

“…And?”

“Well I put that motherfucker right in the middle.”

“Oh my-“

You and Patrick erupt into laughs, covering your mouths as the librarian eyes the two of you. Your stomach starts to ache, not being able to remember the last time you had this kind of belly laugh.

“Well, cheers to breaking free of her.” You put your fist up.

“Oh hell yeah, cheers to that.” He bumps it.

———

3:05pm

The crowd outside thins out as you and Patrick head down the back halls and toward the parking lot. In true honor of breaking free, the two of you decided to not say goodbye. Instead, you’d go home without saying a word to your sister. 

You’re a few doors down from the exit when Patrick stops in his tracks, looking into the nurses office.

“Tashi…” He walks in. 

You enter the doorway, peeking in behind him. Inside, you see Tashi sitting on the table, Art by her side.

“No, out.” Your sister points.

“I’m sorry-“

“Get out!”

“Tashi, listen to me-“

“No, get out!”

“Please-“

“Patrick, get the fuck out!” Art shouts, standing.

Patrick stays for a moment, taken aback as he looks from Tashi to Art. If he has the same vision as you, it’s clear that it’s them against him. It’s no longer Patrick and Tashi, but Art and Tashi. 

He looks back at you before obeying, walking down the hallway. 

Now alone, you come into full view, nearing your sister.

“Tash, what happened-“

“You too.”

You stop, tilting your head. “What?”

“I don’t want you here, leave.”

“Wh- Are you serious?”

“Ava, I think you should just go.” Art says lowly, wary to step in between you too.

You ignore him, “Tashi, I’m your sister.”

You get no answer, she only looks forward. You look at Art as he stands over her like some bodyguard. 

Just as Patrick did, you back away, realizing what this is. You frantically looking between the two as you wait for Tashi to change her mind, to see that regardless of what fight you had you’re still sisters. Though, it’s clear that doesn’t mean anything to her, it’s been clear for a while now. 

Now, it’s only Art and Tashi.

———

10:03pm

“Coming in from Stanford; Student and highly lauded tennis player, Tashi Duncan, took a hard hit at her match against Pepperdine this afternoon. Sources say a hard fracture to the knee has Tashi in the care of medical professionals. It is unknown if she’ll ever be able to play again.” 

The blinding fluorescent lights of the cheap fast food place burn your eyes as you and Patrick look up at the TV. 

You bury your head in your hands, groaning.

“Fuck.” 

“She probably think she’ll never be able to play again.”

“Please, please don’t say that, Patrick. I’ll feel so guilty.”

“Ava, there’s nothing we could’ve done.”

“We could’ve at least showed up.” You rub a hand over your head.

“Hey,” He forces you to look at him, “None of this is our fault, okay? Injured or not, she still treated us like shit. Art only gets to stay by her side because he’s whipped.”

“I just…” You sigh, “I just wish I had been there.”

The two of you stand up, leaving the restaurant. Outside, a huge Adidas billboard with your sister’s face on it dominates the sky.

The two of you get into Patrick’s car, him cranking it up and turning down the radio.

“Let’s talk about something else.”

“Okay.” He nods, looking at you.

“Like…” You think, “Your tour.”

“Oh, God.”

You laugh, “When are you set to go back?”

“Uh, next week I’m pretty sure. But if I’m being honest, I don’t even want to go. I’ve been getting my ass kicked out there.”

“Patrick, Tashi would lose it if she heard you say that.”

He leans in, resting his arms on the center console as he examines your face. “Let’s not talk about Tashi…” 

“Okay,” You hold the intense eye contact that he began, “What do you want to talk about?”

His nose is almost touching yours as you unconsciously near him, eyes flickering from his eyes to his lips.

“Let’s talk about you.” He grins, rubbing your waist.

“What do you want to know?”

“Tell me what you like.” He says, lowering his lips to your neck and softly pressing.

“I, um,” You tilt, holding the back of his head as he gets sloppier, “I loved volleyball. My team was out of California but we travelled for tournaments. We ranked…fuck…we ranked second in the country-“

Patrick cuts you off, his lips ravaging yours as he runs his hands over you. You can’t stop yourself from leaning into him, crawling over to sit on his lap. Both of your hands get more and more heavy as he pulls your shirt over your head, tossing it in the backseat.

“Fuck,” You say in between kisses, “Fuck, wait.”

“What.” He looks up at you, “What, is something wrong?”

“Is this wrong to do?” You ask, out of breath. “Should we stop? What about Tashi and Art?”

“Ava they fucking yelled at us to leave when we tried to help.” He reminds you, “Why should we stop when they treated us like that?”

You look at him, convincing yourself that you’re considering it when all you want to feel is your mouth on his.

And you do, pushing the thoughts of Tashi and Art far from your mind.

———

February 15th, 2011 // 📍Zweig condo, 9:30am

5 years later

At one point in your life, it would take you multiple seconds to figure out how to say the dollar amount that you and your husband had in your bank account. Now, as the number almost falls short of five figures, you feel ashamed just looking at it. 

You switch tabs on the laptop, the light from the ceiling to floor window behind it hurting your eyes. Scrolling through tournament options, the distances only get further and the prize money higher. Years ago, you and Patrick wouldn’t even consider the amount, as Patrick just wanted to play tennis; And that still holds true, only you’ve been stuck in your ways for so long that he’s forgotten how to play to win. 

Nails scratch the hardwood behind you as your golden doodle, Bear, comes barreling down the hall. Right behind him is your husband, chasing the dog around the living room.

“I’m gonna getcha, I’m gonna getcha!” He says, the dog running desperately from him. 

You chuckle, “Good morning.”

You hear Patrick give Bear a smooch before walking over to you, wrapping his arms around your neck.

“Good morning, baby.” He kisses your neck, looking at the screen. “Found anything good?”

“Not really,” You groan, frustrated. “I don’t know when these matches got so fucking far.”

“Hey,” He strokes your head, “I’m sure there’s one we can make it to.”

You continue scrolling, the qualifier maximum getting smaller and smaller.

“What about this one?” He points.

“Atlanta? Patrick, that’s on the other side of the country.”

“I know, I know. But we can make the trip, no? I hear some of our friends may be there.”

You turn your head, furrowing your brows at him. A sly smile plasters over his face, one that makes you realize all too quickly.

“They’re going to be there?” 

He nods.

“God, why would you want to be anywhere near them, Patrick?” 

“We probably won’t even see them, baby. But if they’re there we’ll have a big crowd.” 

You think on it, the thought of seeing Tashi making your stomach turn in knots.

“…And look at that winner’s reward money.” He says convincingly.

A sigh escapes you before clicking submit, Patrick’s entry automatically being sent.

“Mm,” He kisses your wedding ring finger, “Thank you, baby.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You jokingly roll your eyes, pecking him on the cheek.

——

February 24th, 2011 //📍Atlanta, 7:40pm

Nausea consumes you as Patrick’s smell fills your senses. The aroma of the city is one thing, the aroma of your husband another, but the scent of your sister’s old perfume radiates off of him like a cancer.

You watch as he sets his coat down, coming behind the couch to kiss you. 

“Did you-“ You pull your face away, not able to let him touch you, “Did you see anyone we know?”

Patrick is taken aback, looking at you with a confused smile.

“No…Why?”

His eyes bore into yours as you search for any answer than the one you’re imagining. Though, as he hands you the chinese takeout bag and takes a seat next to you, you find yourself voiding the conclusion entirely; Your mind not willing to believe the man you love would be meeting her. 

He wraps his arms around you, watching the TV. As the smell seems to corrupt every sense you have, a tear sneaks into your cheek, the possibility still piercing your gut. Even so, you wrap your arms back around him.

As of this moment, the comfort of hiding in his arms trumps the possibilities of the truth.

——

June 3rd, 2013 // 📍Zweig Condo, 3:00pm

2 Years Later

‘Hey, I know it’s been a while. But if you’re willing, I’d love to come out and see you and the baby. - A ♡’

The ‘Read’ under your message seems to taunt you the longer you stare. Your phone screen is interrupted by a call, ‘Mom,’ at the top of the screen. You answer.

A small gasp escapes you as you’re immediately met with the smallest human you’ve ever seen. You’d know she was Tashi’s in a sea of babies. You wave your husband over, eyes staying on the baby.

“Oh my goodness.” You whisper, “Hi, baby.”

Her eyes stay closed, her hands in small fists.

“Oh, Ava, she’s so beautiful.” Your mom lowly says down the phone.

“Is…” You wipe away a stray tear, “Is Tashi okay?”

The camera flips from the baby to your mother.

“You know you could always ask her yourself, honey.”

“No, I know. But- Just tell them we said congratulations. She’s precious.”

Your mom lets out a sigh as she looks from you to behind the camera.

“Mom, who is that?” You hear your sister’s voice in the background. 

Your hands turn clammy, your heart beating faster and faster as she begins to turn the phone to Tashi.

“Um, Mom we gotta go, we’re breaking up. I love you-“

“Wait, Ava-“

“Love you, mom.” You spit out, hanging up and turning your phone face down.

You stare out for a minute, shocked at your body’s response to your sister’s voice. Sobs escape your mouth before you can stop them. You shove your face in your hands.

“Oh, baby.” Patrick holds you, rubbing your back.

“It’s been too long.” You cry, “She fucking hates me.”

“You don’t know that.” He reassures you, “She may come around. You did good.”

———

May 1st, 2019 // 📍New Rochelle, 10:00am

6 Years later

Making it to New York from home took up the rest of Patrick’s savings. The house that you downsized to is completely funded by you and your remote sales salary. Patrick continues to fight a losing battle with tennis, barely able to pay for food for himself every week. Straining your marriage was the last consequence of his money struggles. Though, it has the biggest impact on your day to day. Nonetheless, you remain by his side. In all honesty, you’re not completely sure how to continue anywhere else. 

“I’m going to see Art today.” Patrick tells you, downing a handful of trail mix.

“Art?” You ask, holding Bear’s paws on your

thighs, “Why would you do that? It’s been years.”

“I think it’s been long enough, we’re already here.” He shrugs, “I think it might be good for me.”

You focus on Bear, still not seeing a clear reason as to why he’d want to speak to Art after a decade.

“Maybe you should go see Tashi.”

Your eyes snap to him, her name barely being spoken in your house for the last six years.

“…And do what?”

He shrugs, “Might be good for you…”

…

1:00pm

Your stomach seems to twist in a thousand ways as you continuously fix your hair and outfit on the way into the far too fancy hotel. As you pass the lobby, you almost turn around and throw up. But as your sister heads for the elevator, you know this is your one chance to speak to her.

Your shoes thump against the marble floor as you jog after her.

“T- Tashi!” You whisper shout, reaching her just in time.

She turns around. Taking one look at you, she looks to your left and right, utterly confused.

“What are you doing here?” She asks, tone laced with disgust.

It’s been so long. She looks so different, her voice has such a maturity to it. But that dominating energy that she brings everywhere hasn’t changed a bit.

“Well I…” You fumble, all of your practice going out the window. “ I heard you were here, I wanted to say hello.”

“Say hello?” She looks you up and down, turning her full attention to you as she steps forward. “Honestly, I don’t want your fucking hello, Ava. Really, I don’t.”

You shake your head, “Tashi-“

"I can't believe you have the balls to be here.

After what you fucking did to me."

"What I-“ You compose yourself, remembering exactly how arguments with your sister always go. “Tashi, what the fuck did I do to you?"

"Are you serious?" She asks, "You're joking, yes?"

"No, I'm really not."

"You left me for 13 years by my fucking self." She raises her voice, "I had a wedding, I had a baby, and where were you? My sister was too stuck on a grudge to ever come back into my life, you're a waste of my fucking time." She begins to walk away.

“Hey.” You follow her, grabbing her arm and spinning her back around.

“Get off.”

"Not one of those events was I invited to, Tash.

Not one. If you wanted me back, if you gave a shit, you would've acted like it. But you're not going to sit here and act like I was in the wrong and I should've reached out to you. Hell, I did fucking reach out to you.”

“In the wrong?” She snatches her arm from you. “Ava, are you clinically fucking stupid? You're hung up on a situation from 13 years ago-"

"No, but it's not from 13 years ago, Tashi.” You cut her off, getting in her face. “Because you're going the same thing right now that you did when you were 18. You're sitting here blaming the world for your life decisions. You're blaming me for being angry that you were and are a narcissist who wants someone else to be the athlete that you never were. Every time I thought of coming back l'd imagine what my sister would say and I couldn't do it. But guess what Tashi, now I see through you. I fucking see it, Patrick sees it, and when Art finally opens his eyes you'll finally see yourself for what you are."

She stares at you, a chuckle escaping her. "Ava, this is pathetic. Genuinely. Because at the end of the day, it's not my fucking fault that you gave up. Now l'm in a position where I don't have to be here. I have a life, a pretty fucking good one, outside of this. Outside of you. This Final, it's practice. It's fucking child's play for us, whereas for the Zweigs...This is it for you. Your last fucking loss.”

“Yeah. Okay Tash.” You roll your eyes, "Keep throwing insults at me to distract from the fact that you're a shitty person."

"I'm a shitty pers- You fucking abandoned your family for 13 fucking years!"

"Because my sister is an insufferable egomaniac who can't accept the fact that her husband doesn't want to do this shit anymore and her tennis life is over.” You shout back, your voices echoing throughout the hotel. “It's fucking over Tashi, give it up. That's why I left you because you're fucking dreadful! You're dreadful and everyone knows it."

Tashi slowly nods, the hotel staff looking at the two of you.

"...Ava, do you know what your husband does late at night?"

Your eyes widen, your heart skipping a beat as she addresses the unspoken.

"Fuck you." You spit.

"I'm really asking, because from what I experienced...You're a lucky woman."

Now you’re the one with disgust in your eyes, the urge to spit in her face stronger than ever before.

“…Say hi to mom for me, Tashi." You say, your hands balling into fists.

“Happy to.” She utters, walking toward the elevator. “Tell Patrick I’m wishing him good luck.”

…

3:00pm

You only tell your husband bits a pieces of your encounter, not daring to remind him of the man he was in Atlanta.

“I don’t even know why I tried.”

“Both of them are assholes.” He agrees, “At least now we’re sure of it.”

“I guess.” You bite your nails, stroking Bear’s ears. “Patrick you have to beat him in the Final. We can’t let them win.”

“I know, baby.” He nods, on your wavelength. “I know.”

——

May 4th, 2019 // Night Before the Final, 11:25pm

“Pat, it’s really coming down out there.” You look out of the hotel window, tarps flying into the street. “What if they cancel the match?”

“They’d never do that.” He watches the TV, “It should lighten up by morning.” 

You hum, snuggling next to him as the bright screen flashes through an action sequence. Patrick’s phone vibrates, his phone brightness lighting the rest of the room.

“Oh, baby.” He shifts his body, making you sit up. “I gotta go.”

“Now? Why?” You try to look on his phone but he pulls it away, scrolling.

“I have to, um,” He rubs his head, looking stressed. “My racquet, I have to pick it up.”

“The fuck does that mean?”

“They just messaged reminding me that we have to have this certain racquet to compete tomorrow.” He stands up, rushing toward the door.

“What- Patrick,” You follow him, “It’s like a fucking flash flood out there, can you not do this tomorrow?”

“Baby, they close at midnight, I gotta go,” He kisses you, “I love you.”

“Patrick, wait-“

“I love you, I have to go!” He shuts the door behind him.

…

12:30am

You have a strange urge to cry as you scroll through Art Donaldson’s instagram. Photos of him and his seemingly perfect family are plastered all over, an ‘@Tashidonaldson ♡’ at the top of his bio.

Patrick never wanted kids, said they’d cost too much and you couldn’t care for them. He was correct about the former, but care for children, you are willing and able to do. But when you married him, he did a lot of the decision making for you. 

Now, as he’s blown all of your savings, lost his tennis touch, and been out of the damn hotel room for an hour doing god knows what , you wish you could shout at past you to get a grip. 

Though, looking at these picture now, you wish you could do the same to past Art Donaldson too. 

———

May 5th, 2019 // 📍New Rochelle Courts, 1:00pm

Final Day

The crowd’s heads robotically turned side to side as Art and Patrick dog it out in a vicious match. You sit in your assigned seat next to your sister, the endless stream of slander not ceasing, not even today.

“Is he retiring after this?” You ask, your head still going between the men.

Tashi shrugs, her expression hidden behind her sunglasses. “Maybe.”

"...I don't think Patrick will ever retire. I think tennis is all he has."

She hums, "If only he'd start winning his matches."

"He doesn't always play for the wins, Tashi."

"Yeah, he plays for the participation money."

"Maybe he does." You say, "At least he does it by choice."

She looks to you, her attention no longer on her husband’s tie breaker. "Art does it by choice."

“Like hell he does.” You scoff, “He wouldn't be retiring after becoming a Career Grand Slam if he wanted to be doing this.”

“Art is an adult, he does what he wants.” She looks back to the court.

“Art is your slave, he does what you want.”

Tashi continues trying to get to you. As Patrick sets for his next serve, he looks in your direction. Only, he isn’t looking at you, he’s looking at your sister. He returns his gaze to Art, placing his ball in the neck of his racquet.

Both you and Art freeze, staring at your husband. The men seem to be in their own world, but Patrick must’ve forgotten that you know too. The word seems to muffle around you as you stare at your husband’s evil grin at Art.

You stand on shaky legs, grasping your stomach as bile threatens to come up. 

“Hey…” Tashi calls after you, “Ava, what the fuck are you doing?”

You run to the nearest exit, Patrick’s blatant disrespect and repulsiveness making you want to genuinely die where you stand.

It’s only as you stumble to your car that it truly hits you who the man you married really is, and how he really sees you. 

Like everyone else, he thinks you’re a pawn in Tashi’s game. A piece that can be battered and bruised but will never go away, as it’s crucial to the game of Tashi. You want to vomit as you sit in your car, Patrick’s scent sending you into a violent sick.

———

May 14th, 2019 // 📍Zweig home, 12:00pm

9 Days Later

Three knocks at the door echo through your almost empty house. You pause your show, unlatching the chain and opening it. 

Patrick stands in front of you, a hysterical attempt of a sad expression on his face.

“Everything’s here.” You walk him in, pointing to the boxes full of his stuff in the kitchen. “The only things that aren’t are your racquets, trophies, cups, stuff like that. Those are in the closet so they wouldn’t get mixed up.”

“Thanks.” He says, feeling like an alien in this house.

“Yeah.” You give him a thumbs up, returning to the couch next to Bear.

He spends an hour loudly moving his things from the kitchen to his car, the sound almost drowning out your show. Regardless, you stay put, wanting him to be done as fast as he can.

“Ava…” He calls over the reality TV. You ignore him, popping another veggie straw into your mouth. 

Suddenly, his arm comes from behind you, grabbing the remote and muting it.

“Hey.” You turn around.

“I’m talking to you.”

“Okay, well I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Ava, I’m sorry-“

“Pat,” You chuckle, not being able to keep it in. “Don’t even.”

“Baby, listen to me, okay? I fucked up-“

“Patrick, Patrick!” You stand up, “Just stop, okay? Leave me be, finish getting your shit, and I’ll have the papers served to you by the end of the week.”

“Baby, no. Please.”

“Honey, there’s nothing you can say.” You shake your head, having prepared for his begging days ago. “Go beg to your mistress, yeah?”

He continues rambling, stumbling over his words. “Ava, it was such a bad mistake. I told myself it was strategy and- And because me and her have a complicated past I couldn’t see straight-“

“But nothing about us is complicated, right? We are married, we’re supposed to be a team. But you betrayed me, plain and simple.” You lay it out for him, “You’re a cheater and we’re done, now go.”

“It was a mistake-“

“Patrick…” You inhale, “I’m trying not to lose it, you need to get the fuck out.”

“Just hear me out-“

“Get out of the house, Patrick.” 

“We can come back from this, Ava. We can.”

Your jaw hangs agape in genuine disbelief. He seems to notice he fucked up again as he stops speaking. You walk around the couch, getting in his face the same way Tashi used to get in yours.

“Patrick,” You begin, “I gave everything for you. I gave up my life, I gave up my family, I gave up Art, I left it all for you. I abandoned so much to be in your corner because I was in love with you, I really was. Whether you felt the same about me, I’ll never actually know-“

“I loved you, baby. I still love you-“

“But I thought you were the one who understood me, Patrick. But somehow every time I gave you a chance to correct yourself you threw it away to be with Tashi. Over and over. She’s constantly being picked over me, her feelings over mine, her body over mine, her opinion over mine…You’re just another one of her fans. You’re just like Art- Honestly, you’re fucking worse. At least  he pretended to like me all those years ago. Now, as my husband, you just don’t give a shit. Just publicly showing that you slept with my sister.”

“…Why do you keep bringing up Art?” He looks down at you, “Do you- Do you feel something for him still?”

“Oh my fucking-“ You cover your face, composing yourself once again before continuing. “Pat, it’s been a long time. A long time since this all started. And if I could go back I’d change many things. But at the end of it all, I’m here because I worked for it and I endured it. You and Art can stay stuck under Tashi’s finger, that’s fine. But I know that the life is bigger than that. Bigger than this weird threesome love triangle shit that you circle back to every few years. I am a grown woman who is in control of her own life so if you don’t have anymore comments, you need to get out and sign the papers when they’re served to you, Patrick.”

“…Baby, please,” He cries, his lip quivering. “You love me, we love each other. Please

just think about it.”

You tilt your head, “Do you want me to be honest?”

Patrick nods, hiccuping on his tears.

“…All of this is really really beneath me.” You quietly tell him.

He lowers his head, his hands covering his eyes.

“When I was 18 I might have been broken over stuff like this but…” You shrug, “Things are very very different from when we were teenagers.” 

#challengers #challengers fic #challengers imagine #challengers fanfic #art donaldson #patrick zweig #tashi duncan #art donaldson fic #patrick zweig fic #art donaldson challengers #patrick zweig challengers #challengers film #tashi duncan fic

[smilesrobotlover]

For a reel on Instagram. Unfortunately I couldn’t download it with the audio so here it is. Just imagine Jerma cussing out a child

#they are brothers to me #I wish we could’ve seen them interact more #also again idk why I keep apologizing but I’m sorry about my obsession with revali BDKSBSKSBSK #I love him #honestly I forgot how much I loved Teba too #like all the Rito man #they’re amazing #legend of zelda #age of calamity #hyrule warriors age of calamity #teba #tulin #revali #swearing #I mean it’s censored out #cuz I don’t swear #but #meh

[brazen-kenobi]

“Okay, fall back. At least it makes us look convincing, like we’re retreating because we’re in trouble.”

“Sir, we look convincing because we are in trouble.” Kenobi gave him that look. One day, Rex thought, he’d get a laugh out of the Jedi.

- Karen Traviss, Star Wars: The Clone Wars

#I wish we could’ve seen more interaction between them #sw books #star wars: the clone wars #karen traviss #Karen miller #Obi wan kenobi #captain rex #Star Wars books #Star Wars quotes

[hazelsmirrorball]

Rockstar Girlfriend IV. | Hazel Callahan

Rockstar! Hazel Callahan x Popstar! Reader Summary: Hazel Callahan and Y/n L/n have to be in a pr relationship, but both of them can stand each other but recently things are starting to look up.  Warnings: Enemies to lovers! Enemies to lovers! Enemies to lovers! Angst , slight jealous! Hazel. Sad! Fight (not physical) Not proof read. Sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my main language.  a/n: It’s friday so it’s time to be sad in bed! Here you guys go, thank you so so much for all the support. I love reading your comments, they really make my day. Thank you for reading 

part one. part two. part three.  part five

Hazel Callahan was never a jealous person, why would she be? There was no reason to be jealous. She had everything she could possibly think of, fame, money, talent and the list goes on and on. She could talk all day about all the things she had but aside from those material things Hazel knew she was attractive, she could have anyone fall at her feet in an instance. So she couldn’t understand the wave of jealousy hitting her body as she saw Y/n from afar flirting with someone. Hazel gripped tightly  on the beer she was holding glaring daggers towards  Y/n  as she threw her head back laughing at some joke the person next to them. 

“I bet it wasn't even that funny” She muttered to herself while taking a sip of her drink, her eyes never leaving Y/n ‘s way. 

“Who isn’t that funny?” Josie asked, popping out of nowhere behind Hazel causing her to jump, almost spilling her drink. Hazel rested her hand on her chest trying to push away the fact that she had scared the living shit out of her. Josie turned towards her unconsciously blocking Hazel’s view of Y/n.  

“What the fuck, Josie? You can’t jump out of nowhere. I could’ve spilled my drink on this lovely white couch. This is a million dollar couch. We can’t afford to ruin this couch” Hazel rambled reaching towards the couch pushing herself up so she could see the interactions Y/n was having with the unknown stranger better. Josie rolled her eyes, still not noticing Hazel's true intentions. 

“Have you seen your net worth? You could fill a house just with those damn couches and still have money. But that’s not even the important thing. Today’s the perfect day to scare people.” Josie responded by pulling Hazel by the arm, making her sit next to her on the couch. 

Josie was right, today was the perfect day to scare people. October 31st had rolled around really quick and this year people were more excited than ever. And people being excited by something made management want to hop on that train. That’s how Hazel and everyone else found themselves at a Halloween costume party in honor of B/n’s album launch. As much as Hazel wanted to deny it, she actually wanted to be at that dumb party. She had seen how important that album was for Y/n and her career. She had worked hard to get it out and the least Hazel could do was support her. 

The past few months as a PR couple weren’t as bad as she thought it would be. Being forced to go around town to be spotted by paps and fans so turned into dates where they could talk countless hours about things that didn’t make sense. Movie nights, sleepovers, late night dinners, they outings started transitioning from public to the privacy of their house. Hazel had learned every inch of Y/n’s apartment and every incho of her heart. It was hard for Hazel to see the line of where their pr relationship ended and their relationship started. She had found herself wanting for her phone to light up wishing it was a text from Y/n or how everything reminded her about Y/n. She was falling and she was falling hard.  

All she could think about was Y/n. Every ounce of inspiration started with Y/n.  She made Hazel feel complete. Yes she had “everything” but nothing in the world could make her feel the way Y/n did. Hazel wanted her to feel happy and if she had to go to that party and dress up, she would do it in a heartbeat. So as soon as the theme of the party got revealed, Hazel found herself at the nearest halloween store. 

Hazel was actually excited to go to the party and see Y/n, knowing that she was going to love her ghostface costume, but never in a million years she would’ve thought that she would see Y/n, her Y/n, snuggling up to some random person. 

“Hello? Earth to Hazel. Are you here?” Josie exclaimed concerned, snapping her fingers in front of Hazel’s face. Hazel shook her head turning to face Josie finishing the last sip of her beer and placing it on the small table in front of them. 

“Shouldn’t you be…I don’t know making out with your girlfriend or bothering PJ? Don’t we spend enough time with each other as it is?” Hazel snapped, taking Josie's drink and taking a sip. She waited a few seconds before turning her head once again on the pair a few feet away from them, noticing how they hovered against each other a few inches of locking lips. 

“Rude much? I have you know, Isabel is currently talking with this agent about a modeling gig and PJ is desperately trying to get a girl which leaves me no option to spend time with you. So, what’s up your ass. You’ve been moody ever since we got here.” Josie said getting more comfortable on the couch in front of her. She followed Hazel's gaze, noticing what she was looking at. “Oh, you found out about them?” Josie asked Hazel, making her snap her head towards Josie quickly. 

“Them? What do you mean about them?” Hazel responded quickly, not trying to hide her true emotions or intentions. She was going to find out who that person was and why she was wasting her time with them instead of spending time with her. Y/n didn’t even think of sending a hello towards Hazel’s way being too busy making googly eyes at the unknown person. 

“That’s Y/n ex, they were together before the pr thing between you two started. I guess since it’s over they are rekindling their relationship.” She continued while resting her legs on the coffee table in front of her. Hazel furrowed her eyebrows trying to process the information she had heard. 

“Wait. What do you mean now that it’s over?” Hazel asked, placing Josie's drink down completely facing her this time, her body almost on top of hers. 

“Didn’t you receive the constant  chained emails? They have been updating both of the bands about your guys publicity stunt. ” She replied, searching for her phone so Hazel could read the emails their manager had sent both of the teams. 

“Who the hell even reads email anymore? I thought G sent the important updates via message. Why did no one tell me that they were sending things via email.” Hazel replied, taking Josie's phone scrolling down to read the messages in front of her. 

Hazel felt her world spin as she read the words in front of her on the flashing screen. Her eyes quickly  scanned the twenty emails and all the responses. Everytime she read one more word she could feel the high she had with Y/n slip away, it was all fake. 

Without even thinking it twice Hazel felt herself move up from the couch heading towards Y/n not before handing the phone back to Josie. Her stomps were strong as she pushed past the  crowd of people. When she finally got next to the pair she grabbed  Y/n’s arm ignoring the disappearing smile on her face. Before her or her ex could say a word, Hazel pulled her outside. The cold breeze hit Hazel's face, but she could feel herself getting hotter by the minute, pissed off out of her mind. 

“What the hell,Hazel? I was trying to have a conversation” Y/n exclaimed annoyed, pulling her arm away from Hazel’s touch. Hazel looked at her pissed off, something unfamiliar to Y/n. She was used to seeing cocky Hazel and as of recently sweet Haze; but angry Hazel was a new thing for her. 

“When were you going to tell me about the emails?” Hazel said roughly, not breaking eye contact with Y/n. She could feel how just by her choice of words Y/n confidence turned down. 

“The emails? What emails?” Y/n asked clearly about her throat while playing with the ends of her skirt. Hazel laughed sarcastically, taking her by the chin, making her look at her. 

“What emails? Let me help you out and refresh your memory. The email where you claimed that going out with me was a way for you  to get me to write the songs for your album. An easy way to get on top of the social ladder. I thought you said that you wanted to write things for yourself? To make a name for yourself in the industry, why the hell did you use all the songs I fucking wrote for my bands album. I showed them to you in confidence and you stole from me. What the actual fuck, L/n” Hazel exclaimed letting go of her chin not wanting to hurt her due to the fact that she wasn;’t in control of her anger.

“I didn’t know you were going to read the emails. It was just my team a…” Hazel looked at her shocked, feeling her heart break at the choice of Y/n’s words not believing that this was the same girl she had fallen desperately in love with. 

“You didn’t know that I was going to find out about the fact that you were fucking me over and leading me on these past months for a stupid album. Are you hearing yourself right now”

“No, Hazel. You don’t understand! You’ve always had everything I just wanted to see what it was like. You knew from the beginning that it was a pr thing really, but now I..” 

“Honestly, I actually thought you were actually a good person. I felt like shit being around you, I didn’t think I was worthy of being next to you. But now, I guess it was the other way around. I really hope that using me for that damn album was worth it. Because right now you gave me inspiration to write a new one” Hazel turned away as tears started forming on Y/n eyes. As Hazel walked away Y/n could feel her only inspiration slipping away. 

Hazel was gone and out of her life, like she always wanted, but why didn’t it feel good. Why did she want to see her face and the constant reminder that she was there? Hazel Callahan had an effect on her that she couldn’t lose but now it was too late, she was slipping away.  

...

[previous part]

next part

Thank you for reading

#hazel callahan x you #hazel callahan imagine #hazel x reader #hazel callahan #hazel callahan x reader #kit tanthalos x reader #kit tanthalos #save willow #willow #ruby cruz #ruby cruz x reader #bottoms movie #Hazel Callahan reader insert #reader insert

[jeonqkooks]

our beloved summer | jjk (04)

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader

genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, drinking, swearing, the word "dick" is mentioned a few times lol, jeon jungkook (yes, bc at this point he's annoying even to me), yoongi is a menace, oc is fighting with everybody asdfgjkl girl 🙄, inaccuracies about music making !! and i hope obs readers aren't music majors bc that'd be really embarrassing for me lol, idk i think that's it

rating: PG-15

word count: 16.3k

note: a major thank you to @daechwitatamic for beta-ing this for me and for doing it so fast!!, you are a gem ily jo 🥺🥰 aaaaaand omg yeah! i can't believe the duck is here. he's finally here!!! ah we love to see it hehehehe :') it feels fitting that obs4 is the one to close off 2022 <3

series masterpost / main playlist ; interactive playlist ; moodboards ; taglist

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

Ask your new lover what it's like to be given A real fighting chance before you wish her, "Good riddance,” Did anything ever really count Or was I just a two-year practice round?

Before - NIKI

Ah, the grand opening of Jimin’s own dance studio. It’s been in the works for a while now, ever since he quit his job as an instructor at that fancy academy downtown. 

When you arrive at the venue, the event is already in full swing. You would’ve come sooner, to see Jimin before things get too hectic and more people would want to steal him away to say their congratulations. You could’ve come sooner, had you accepted Jungkook’s offer to drive the both of you here. It’s the less time-consuming option, and one that’s more environmentally conscious, but you didn’t want to be left alone with Jungkook – not after what Namjoon had unintentionally revealed to you – in a space where you couldn’t force him to just talk about work while Jimin went to mingle with his guests, and Taehyung couldn’t get off work any earlier than 6:30.

You have to hand it to Jimin. He really went all out for this. The venue he booked looks amazing, and so much bigger than you expected, but that’s probably to accommodate the shit ton of people he invited tonight. There’s catering, cutesy party favors, and most importantly, an open bar that you absolutely would die for. Bless Jimin and his excessive spending heart.

Although, the photographer that he got for tonight can’t exactly be considered great. He looks young, maybe early 20s and still hasn’t learned how to lose the attitude yet, just walking around with his hefty camera and looking like he has a stick up his ass. He’s definitely being underpaid. Jimin must not have taken this factor into account until he had already exceeded his budget.

“Oh, Jiminie,” you mutter to yourself like a mom whose child just won the school talent show, making a beeline for Jimin and pulling him into a hug, not caring that he’s holding a flute of champagne that could’ve easily spilled onto you. “Jiminie, I’m so proud of you. I know how hard you’ve worked, and you deserve this so much. I love you. You’re going to be amazing.”

Every single syllable that slips from your lips is genuine. You’ve seen how passionate Jimin is, and you know how long this has been a dream of his. In your eyes, he deserves the absolute world and more.

You kiss his cheek to emphasize the meaning behind your words. You’ve never been the sentimental type with your friends except for rare occasions like these. On birthdays, you're not the one to shoot them the first happy birthday! text at 12AM on the dot, nor are you the one to plan surprise parties and go all out on extravagant presents.

You have your own way of showing your friends that you love them without any grand, tacky gestures. You like to think that you’re a good friend, and you hope they think that too.

But… you feel guilty today. You feel guilty for even toying with the idea of not going just because you didn’t want to face Jungkook in a setting that wasn’t the studio. When Taehyung asked if you had gotten the invite and you couldn’t confirm your attendance right away, he looked at you like you were out of your mind. He looked at you like Why wasn’t dropping every single one of your plans not the first thought that comes to mind when you received the text. Because this is Jimin you’re talking about. One of your closest friends. The incredulousness on Taehyung’s face that night made you feel small because really, you were being selfish.

After the breakup, you repeatedly assured Taehyung that he should still be friends with Jungkook, though the petty part of your brain wanted nothing more than to have Taehyung cut off all ties with your ex and tell him to go shove it.

If you weren’t in the picture, they still would’ve bonded the way they did and developed that kind of brotherly connection. Just because you and Taehyung were closer doesn’t mean that he and Jungkook weren’t close. They were close throughout college, and it had nothing to do with the fact that one was your best friend and the other was your boyfriend. That’s why you weren’t particularly fond of making Taehyung lose someone he considered family, even if that man did stomp on your heart to hell and back.

You just had to make it crystal clear to Taehyung – and Jimin by extension – to not put you and Jungkook in the same place ever again.

And that’s exactly what Taehyung and Jimin have been doing these past few years. Birthday parties, nights out and celebratory dinners multiplied by two to keep you and Jungkook separate. It was like you were strangers who never knew each other existed. Different worlds that can’t ever collide. You all got used to this certain arrangement. It works out for everybody: You don’t have to see your ex, and Jimin and Taehyung get to keep their friend. If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it.

The barrier that you forced between you and him worked, but sadly it did put a strain on Taehyung and Jimin’s wallets. You were always a group of five though, until Hoseok moved abroad the very week before college ended. He didn’t even attend graduation. That summer, you weren’t the only one left heartbroken. Hoseok’s parents had turned a 180 and decided to make him pursue another degree to take over the family business instead of continuing to let him follow his dreams, which have always been music and dancing. When he broke the news, you all gathered around and cried together. You were beyond upset for him; you knew how Hoseok shined the brightest when he got to do what he loved.

Since then, he only comes back a couple of times a year. Every time, you would all try and make the most of it, wanting to relive those college days that you cherished so much. But during each of these visits, there is always something bittersweet that you think you all could feel. Because Hoseok wasn’t a constant in your lives anymore. The five of you were thick as thieves. You were there for each other through every high and every low. It’s somber to think that you will never have that ever again.

Hoseok wasn’t there to personally witness what the breakup did to you, but you were certain that he knew about it. Taehyung and Jimin must have told him at some point. You don’t think you’ve ever had a proper conversation with Hoseok about how your relationship with Jungkook ended. He only visits as seldom as it is. You don’t want to spend every reunion wallowing in misery, or make everything about your baggage when everyone has their own shit to deal with.

“Shit, Y/N, why are you being sappy?” Jimin mutters as he blinks at you, eyes glassy, all shy and adorable when he sniffles. “You’re gonna make me cry.”

It isn’t until then that you notice Jungkook standing next to Jimin, having watched the whole interaction with an identical champagne glass in his hand and a small smile on his face.

“Hi,” he says, even though it has only been a couple of hours since you last saw each other. 

You send him a nod, merely to acknowledge his presence. Taehyung pulls Jimin into a hug of his own too, swaying him from side to side like they’re in their own little world. 

You can feel Jungkook’s gaze on the side of your face but you keep your eyes trained on Taehyung’s back, watching your two friends be dramatic and goofy and happy.

When you deem that they’ve had their fun, you tug Taehyung back by his jacket. “Okay, that’s enough, lovebirds. You’re acting like you don’t see each other every other day. Stop being so clingy.”

“No!” Jimin swats your hand away but lets his friend go regardless. He’s smiling so big that his eyes have turned into narrow slits, pearly whites on full display, cute pinchable cheeks turned rosy from the champagne and euphoria. “Do I look weird? I feel like I look weird. I can’t stop smiling.”

“You don’t look weird,” you say, booping his nose affectionately then ruffling his head of blond hair. “You look perfect.”

Jimin blushes, which makes him even cuter. Then his eyes light up when he spots someone behind you. His hand shoots up to wave the person over to your table as he calls, “Hobi hyung!”

Hobi– what?

You and Taehyung turn around, four eyes flying wide open.

Slapping a hand to Taehyung’s chest, you gasp. “Holy shit. Did you know about this?!”

“No! I’m as shocked as you are!”

Hoseok skips the pleasantries. He just grins brightly and yanks you and Taehyung into him, crushing you two in his hug as he shakes you enthusiastically. When he lets go, he kisses both of your cheeks. He diverts his attention to Jungkook then, yelling out Jaykay! so loudly that people turn to look. He does the same thing to Jungkook as he did to you, enveloping the younger man in a very Hoseok-esque embrace.

“Hobi!” you squeal, completely overjoyed. Taehyung looks about the same as you, the two of you practically bouncing like golden retrievers. “Why didn’t you tell us you were going to be here?”

Hoseok shares a look with Jimin, and they both break out into a fit of giggles. “Obviously I wasn’t going to miss tonight,” he says. “But I’m disappointed in you, Y/N. You should’ve surprised Jimin with me, not the other way around.”

“Wha– Jung Hoseok, you blocked me last month after I sent you that jumpscare video.”

“Oh, right,” he laughs. “In any case, it’s always so good to see all of you simp over me every time I come home.”

“Hobi, I implore you to stop saying ‘simp’ as a grown ass man.”

“Y/N, this grown ass man implores you to stop calling him Hobi.”

It isn’t until now that you start to relax more. Everything feels so much simpler now that Hoseok is here and all of you are together. Catching up with him, you’re always enraptured to hear the stories he has to tell. Even if it’s brief and the bubble has to eventually burst, he never fails to give you that odd sense of peace you’ve been craving since you got older. Hoseok has a way of making time stretch on forever, in a good way. 

At one point, he stops talking, noticing something out of place. “Oh? You two…” he gestures between you and Jungkook, and the conversation seems to end here because even Hoseok doesn’t know what to say or what to ask. Clearly Taehyung and Jimin haven’t been doing a very good job at keeping him up to date. Then things just start getting kinda awkward again.

You feel partly to blame. After all, you’re one of the two people making this weird for everybody.

For most of the night, you manage to avoid talking to Jungkook. It’s not that difficult really, with Taehyung practically gluing himself to your side (per your request) and catching up with Hoseok, Jungkook could hardly get a word in with you.

You pat Taehyung on the cheek. “Thanks for sticking with me,” you tell him.

“Of course,” he says. “And y’know, it’s not like you really gave me a choice.”

Your hand that’s still on his cheek goes to pinch it. His cheek is so squishy, it feels like you’re kneading dough. You can’t help but squeeze your fingers a little harder.

“Ah! Okay!” he squeaks out. “Sorry!”

You giggle at his frowny face before giving him another affectionate pat. “Seriously, can you imagine Jungkook seeing me drunk without you to hold me back? That’s one of my worst nightmares.”

Taehyung bites his tongue, remembering the night he had put Jimin on pick up duty and Jungkook had tagged along. Taehyung even recalls the morning after, when he was walking on eggshells around you, trying to figure out if your memory would serve you. When he was positive that it didn’t, he had to thank the heavens for letting him live to see another day.

Because if you ever find out, oh you would kill him. You would knock him to the ground and strangle him with your bare hands. He’s absolutely certain that you would. Knowingly letting your friend’s ex see her absolutely shitfaced and crying over said ex? Now that is heinous.

“Hold this,” Taehyung says now that it’s just the two of you, handing you his glass of whiskey. Hoseok got pulled somewhere so Jimin could introduce him to some of his staff, and Jungkook is… well, you have no idea where he is. “I have to pee.”

“What, now?”

“No, two hours from now. I’m just announcing it in advance,” Taehyung deadpans. “Yes, now!”

“I literally just thanked you.” You glare up at him. He starts to get sassy a couple of drinks in. “I’ll come with you.”

“What, to the men’s bathroom? Don’t be ridiculous, Y/N. I don’t even see Jungkook anywhere. He’s probably mingling. C’mon, I’ll be gone two minutes, tops, okay?”

“No, no, no, wait–!” Aaand he’s already jogging away. Great.

You sigh, take a sip of Taehyung’s drink and immediately grimace. You really don’t like whiskey. You find an empty table nearby to put the glass down and loiter. To anyone, you must look like you’ve got a bad case of social anxiety, standing alone and fidgeting like that, but no, what you have is Jungkook anxiety. 

As you keep your head down and pull out your phone to make it seem like you actually have something to do instead of waiting for your friend to return from the bathroom, your head bobs gently to the faint music coming from the speakers. Peace lasts for about thirty seconds. You turn to look when someone nudges your shoulder.

“You look beautiful,” Jungkook tells you with a smile that almost blinds you. You have to admit, he’s so handsome tonight, and it’s part of why you’ve been avoiding looking at him since you got here.

You glance down at your outfit. You tend to dress more casually at the studio, but today, you wanted to up the ante a little bit for Jimin. It’s nothing fancy, just a smidge more put-together than what you usually go for. Knee-high boots, a black skirt, a cozy sweater and your favorite winter coat. Actually put on some blush for once  to top it all off.

“I’ve looked like this since the morning.”

“I know,” he says. “I’ve been wanting to say it all day.”

It’s the compliment, the sparkling eyes and the soft, warm smile making your face heat up. You bite the inside of your cheek, urging yourself to snap out of it.

The strategy is to deflect. You practically shove your phone in his face with the Gmail app open, making him squint in reflex at the sudden brightness assaulting his eyes. “So Namjoon just sent me this–”

Jungkook takes a step back and brushes your hand away. “Honestly, if it’s fine with you, can we not talk about work?” he chuckles as he says this. “I just got out of the studio. I’d rather not think about it for a minute.”

So it would appear that deflecting is not a viable option.

“Oh, okay.” You nod slowly, putting your phone back into your bag. You are so awkward, and too sober for this, and desperately need your Taehyung-shaped buffer. “Uhm, so… what now?”

Jungkook gives you a quiet chuckle, trying to go over this as nonchalantly as possible. “Friends can talk about things. I’m sure we can figure something out.”

Your brows furrow slightly as you recall what you told Seokjin before. Friends… Jungkook still doesn’t seem to know the definition of the word. Does he think you meant it? That you were actually friends now? He can’t be that fucking dense, can he? When he came knocking at your door not that long ago, has he forgotten that look in your eyes and the door closing in his face when he uttered this exact word to you?

From the start, Jungkook was never your friend.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to do this at the studio and I didn’t want to do it here, today, Jimin’s big day, but I have to ask. What are you doing?”

He blinks, seemingly confused, and it prompts you to continue.

“What is this? What am I supposed to talk about with you if it’s not work?” you say slowly. “You know I was just saying that to not make things awkward for Seokjin and Namjoon, right?” Too slowly, like he’s stupid and you need to enunciate every syllable. You can’t help it.

Jungkook puts his champagne glass on the table. He looks a little lost, and it’s clear that this is a turn that neither of you expected. See, you think, wishing Taehyung would come back right this second to witness this, This is why I need to drink.

“What happened? I thought we were doing fine.”

He took the words right out your mouth, only a few years too late.

Is he serious? He really is that dense?

Your mouth falls open, trying to gauge if you are actually on the same topic, or if you’re even speaking the same language. It can’t be more painfully obvious that you two have been living completely different realities.

“You happened,” you snap, amazed by the fact that you even have to tell him.

You stop short of saying: Fuck you. You unraveled my life like a hurricane and now I have to be the one to remind you of it? You wanted nothing to do with me the last five years and now you’re trying to get me all to yourself?

You can’t help the next question that slips out either. Blame the small part of you that’s been dying to know this since you found out the news from Namjoon. “Why would you think that we’d be fine? Who do you think I am to you?”

Jungkook’s lips part but he doesn’t say anything for nearly half a minute. His face falls just a tad, and you don’t really know what to make of that. His eyes glimmer under the lights. With what, you can’t know for certain. It must be shame. Is it possible that there’s guilt swimming in those irises? Underneath the surface of those brown eyes, is it too much to ask that there be some regret too?

You think the question nicked him somewhere you can’t see. Call it wishful thinking, but you hope it’s the same place that he has always cut into you.

Bleed. Bleed like you made me bleed.

Finally, he says, “You’re…”

Then, Jimin practically shouts into a mic that he has procured somewhere. Wonderful timing, blondie.

“Can everyone gather at the front for a group photo please? I’m going to hang it on the wall!”

You don’t know if you should be frustrated or grateful for the interruption. That void that you used to fill with anger and resentment is now bubbling with something else. No matter how hard you try to swallow it all down, you know it won’t stop until you overflow, until you’re swallowed whole by that grief again. You feel foolish. Cheap. Hard to love, hard to keep. He meant the world to you but to him, turns out you were merely replaceable.

You turn away from Jungkook in favor of another chaos. In the midst of the grand Park family – Jimin’s many cousins, bubbly nieces and nephews who all want to be in the center of the photo – you get pushed to the side. There’s too many people here. It’ll probably end up looking like one of those company pictures where at least half the people have their eyes closed and the other half look like they can’t wait to get out of there. You don’t know where Taehyung is, if he’s even back from the bathroom. You’re so tired. So drained, all of a sudden. You miss your bed and your comfy pillows and your warm fluffy blanket. You want to sink into it and melt like a piece of marshmallow on hot chocolate.

You stand there awkwardly on the very edge, aware of Jungkook loitering a couple of steps from you as you both wait for people to make up their mind on where to stand. You can tell that the photographer is getting frustrated when he finally steps in to guide the older people when they start looking like buffering Sims. You don’t even know where Jimin and Hoseok are either.

“Okay, is everyone ready?” the photographer asks, his voice unamused as he raises the camera to look through the viewfinder. He doesn’t even wait for any confirmation and just starts counting down. No doubt about it, Jimin is definitely underpaying this guy. “Three, two, o– Wait. You on the left. No, my left. Yes, you, guy in the black coat. Could you stand closer? You’re almost out of the frame.”

Jungkook – “guy in the black coat” – shuffles closer until you can smell his familiar cologne over the overwhelming floral scent radiating off the woman next to you. He moves until the photographer gives his nod of approval, until your arms touch. It makes you nervous, even through the layers of clothes. What was he going to say? What did you want him to say? What could be a good enough answer?

You all smile as the camera clicks a few times. You might’ve had your eyes closed in one of the shots. Seriously, you have to make Jimin show you the picture before he commemorates his wall with it. If you have to be immortalized on a wall next to your ex, then at least you should look good.

Everybody disperses after that; some going to bid Jimin goodbye as they end the night and go home, some returning to their previously established groups to chat some more. You feel like now is probably a good time to leave.

You move to go find Taehyung, but someone stops you. A warm hand wraps around your wrist and pulls you back. You glance at where Jungkook’s skin touches yours, then your eyes flicker up to meet his. They don’t let you move, and neither do the words he says next. His face is softer than you’ve witnessed in a while. No teasing, no bravado. Just honesty.

“You’re someone important to me.”

Oof. Two strikes in one night.

It makes you angry for some reason – his honesty. Because it really looks like he believes it to be true.

This is the last thing you wanted, fighting when you’re supposed to be celebrating Jimin, but you suppose it’s happening. “I can’t tell if you mean it or if you’re just playing with me,” you say.

Jungkook pales a shade as you stare at him with hard eyes.

“I do mean it,” he says. He looks down at your hand, his fingers on your wrist twitching. 

“If that were really the case, we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” you tell him. “If I were really important to you, you wouldn’t have screwed me over like that. If I were really important, you wouldn’t be here right now, acting like I’m something you can throw away whenever you feel like it, and pick back up like nothing ever happened. You know, I was starting to be okay. I was starting to get used to it and you just had to come waltzing back into my life. Do you know how important this is to me? That this is my dream I get to live but I’m just trying to survive it and never have to see you again? Why can’t you just– Fuck.”

You choke on the last of it, knowing that if you keep going, you will cry, and your pride won’t let you break down in front of your friends and strangers alike. In front of Jungkook. You count each breath in your head to steady yourself until your lungs feel less like they’re going to burn out of oxygen. 

You’re surprised that you were able to say that without much liquid courage. You’re glad that you’re standing near the corner of the room where nobody is really paying attention to you. Jungkook lets go of your wrist, visibly gulping as he does so. It feels like there’s an entire orchestra in here – people talking, music playing, all echoing around the room – and you suppose you’re thankful for that. He can’t hear your heart screaming over the noises. If you weren’t sure if he was feeling ashamed before, then you’re sure now. He should be ashamed, for everything he put you through. If you could, you would give it back to him ten times worse.

Quietly, Jungkook says, “I’m sorry,” and then nothing else.

You swear you can hear a clock go tick, tock, tick, tock… The passage of time is so palpable, like something you can hold in your hands. Minutes upon minutes, hours upon hours, days upon days - they sit in the palm of your hands but amount to nothing at all. They slip through your fingers again. Nothing is guaranteed, you realize belatedly then, certainly not closure. You’re never going to get it right. He’s always going to blindside you.

And no matter how hard you try to keep him at bay, he’s always going to get under your skin.

Stop slipping. Stop slipping. Stop slipping.

“Huh,” you mutter to yourself, bitterly, confusedly, amusedly, “I thought that would feel better.”

“What?” he asks.

“Hearing you say sorry. Did you know that you never said sorry to me?”

“It’s not– I–” he stutters. How could he possibly object to that? It’s the truth. It’s the absolute and pathetic truth. He leaves the sentence unfinished like the history of the two of you, half written until he decided that he was done with it. Time would not tell the rest, and all you were left with were blank pages that no one could fill. “I’m sorry,” he ends up saying again, as if repeating it would make the words have more gravity. If that is his intention then you suppose he succeeds, because it makes your heart heavier.

“I’m trying to do right by you.”

You consider it for a second. When you turn away, you find Taehyung across the room, already looking at you, though you don’t think he can hear anything from where he’s standing. Your friend has ‘worried’ written all over his face.

“Are you trying to do right by me? Or by you?” you ask, and then something starts to sink in. You spent so much time thinking about it, wondering where everything went wrong. Going around in circles, dwelling, trying to put together puzzle pieces that just won’t fit. That’s time that you can never get back. You’ve always known that at some point, you would have to let it all go. Maybe now is that point. Let go of things that you have no control over. You’re only burning yourself by holding on. Isn’t it better to let it scar than to keep picking at the wound and making it bleed? “Actually, it doesn’t even matter anymore. What’s the point? I’ve come to terms with it. You can do whatever you want to feel better. Just do it by yourself. Don’t use me.”

Jungkook frowns. “I’m not using you.”

You manage to suppress the urge to scoff. “Isn’t that what you’ve been doing? Thinking you could come back and sweet talk me and then you’d be absolved just like that?”

“I know you must hate me,” he says. “...for everything.”

“I do.” No fucking shit. “If you know that, then why are you doing this?” Don’t push it, your brain says, but the way he’s staring at the ground, unable to meet your eyes, looking like a puppy you just kicked makes you annoyed. “Did you know that the first time I ever saw you, I hated you?” you ask, making his eyes flit up to yours. “I wish we could’ve left it at that.”

When his face flashes with hurt, you almost feel bad even though you wished for this. His jaw clenches as you walk away, leaving him there by himself.

“Wanna head home?” Taehyung asks before you have to even say anything. He regards you with soft and apologetic eyes, with a gentle hand on your arm and concern still etched onto his features. Taehyung is a warm summer’s breeze compared to the desolate winter that Jungkook has made of you. You answer with a simple nod.

“Wait for me by the car. I’ll say bye to Jimin and be right out,” Taehyung tells you.

“Okay.”

He puts an arm around your shoulder and squeezes you once. “Sorry about that by the way… There was a line for the bathroom.”

Monday comes too soon.

You have to face Jungkook again too soon.

“Unclench your butt.”

You snap your head to the sound of Yoongi’s voice right next to your ear. His tone is teasing, and his face even more so. The man’s got way too much energy for 9 in the morning.

“Excuse me?” you grumble. You’ve been standing outside the studio for almost ten minutes now, letting your nerves eat away at you because you know Jungkook is already here. You saw his car earlier. 

“Your butt,” your friend says. “It’s too clenched.”

“You were looking at my butt?” You give him a disapproving look.

“Only because you look like you’re trying to hold in a shit.” Yoongi shrugs indifferently. “Why are you standing out here anyway?”

Your fingers twitch around the strap of your bag as you try to give him a nonchalant answer. “Trying to manifest the death of capitalism before you interrupted me.”

“Mhmm,” he says, eyeing you suspiciously like a distrusting cat. “Spill. What happened?”

“What happened with what?”

“I know you went to your friend’s thing on Friday. And I know Jungkook was there too. So what happened?”

You debate whether or not you should tell Yoongi. It’s not like you have anything to hide; he already knows about your history anyway. But he’s been the most insufferable toward Jungkook in the short time that he’s been here, and giving him the goss on your little conversation the other day would only give him another reason to be an even bigger menace. You bite your tongue, and put on the most neutral expression you can manage.

“Nothing happened,” you say. “You’re being nosy, Min.”

You push open the door to be greeted by an incredibly cheerful Seokjin and Namjoon. Why is everyone so bubbly on a Monday morning? Have they always been like this, or do you just feel like everything coming out of their mouths is sunshine and rainbows compared to the black cloud hovering over your head?

Seems like you aren’t the only one dreading the new week though. Jungkook visibly stiffens as you enter, completely devoid of that easy-going smile he always greets you with. “Hey,” he tells you.

“Morning,” you reply. To him, to Seokjin, to Namjoon. You take a seat at your usual corner, setting down your bag and pulling out your pen and notebook. 

Seokjin launches into conversation with Yoongi about a basketball game. Apparently there was one last night, but you don’t really care about that. Namjoon doesn’t seem to have much interest in the topic either, choosing to weigh in with an occasional hum here and there to be polite.

Like you, Jungkook is quiet. He knows enough about basketball to hold a conversation but you know it’s never been his favorite thing in the world. Normally though, even if he isn’t particularly knowledgeable in the matter at hand, he would still act like he’s genuinely absorbed in whatever everyone was talking about, just to be friendly and sociable. He was always very good at networking; that’s why people loved him in college. From what you’ve seen, that trait carried over into adulthood as well. 

From the corner of your eye, you could see Jungkook fidget in his chair. He turns his head every once in a while to glance at you, which doesn’t go unnoticed by you, nor Yoongi for that matter. Yoongi nudges your knee with his own, prompting a curious look from you. He leans closer to your ear and lowers his voice so that nobody can hear.

“Jungkook looks like his butt is pretty clenched too.”

Your grip on the pen loosens as you swirl it around absentmindedly, humming to yourself the melody off the page as if it’ll summon words to the sheet, where it’s mostly blank beneath all the squiggly music notes. The men – with the exception of Namjoon; he’s out for the day – gather around, discussing the first demo track. You drown most of it out. Your job here isn’t to wring out the kinks with the technical aspects anyway.

“We could record something for the rough demo today,” Yoongi thinks out loud.

“Today?” Jungkook asks as he arches an eyebrow. “For what track? We don’t have a single thing completely finished yet?”

“Buddy, are you a glass half empty kind of guy?” Yoongi jokes. “From what I see, we have at least four tracks halfway done. That’s enough for us to record.”

The younger man leans back in his chair and crosses his arms in front of his chest, highly annoyed but he still tries to keep a straight face and an even voice. It’s his first big project, and this fucking person is coming in and stepping all over his toes. To Jungkook, Yoongi is just some guy. He has never understood what the hype was about with Agust D, why he has always been a massive media darling and why everybody seems so enamored with him. Seokjin talks about him like Jungkook should feel so privileged to have the opportunity to work with such talent. Namjoon, his own freaking mentor, practically idolizes Yoongi. He almost passed out from glee when he heard that Yoongi would be coming on board. Even when the label was trying to get the rapper to sign with them, Jungkook never got what all the fuss was about.

It’s almost frustrating to watch people around him fawn over Yoongi like he hangs the moon in the sky. If you feel the same way about him, you don’t let it show, but Jungkook can tell that you admire and respect the guy a lot. He just can’t figure out what the deal is between you and Yoongi. Something is there. If not from your side then definitely from Yoongi’s. He seems too protective of you. Taehyung is the same way, and so are Jimin and Hoseok, but with them, Jungkook understands. They’ve been friends with you since forever, and he can’t imagine that your friendship with Yoongi can ever be that special.

“I disagree,” Jungkook asserts. “It’s a waste of time to make a demo now when we’d have to do it all over again later. At this point, all we’ll get is scraps. It wouldn’t help us get anywhere.”

Yoongi glances at Seokjin, who’s been watching but not really contributing, and they both share a look. It makes Jungkook want to get more fired up because he is supposed to be in charge here, but Yoongi is clearly more in tune with what Seokjin wants and how he operates. Jungkook will be the first one to say that he is not the best team player, but at least he tries. It usually works out just fine in the end, once he can get his ego out of the way to actually get something done, but this time it’s proving to be quite the challenge when it seems like Yoongi is constantly trying to hinder him.

“Jungkook, look.” Even the way he says his name is irritating. “I’ve been doing this way longer than you have, buddy. I was a producer before I became a rapper. I think I know what I’m doing here.”

“And I see why you would think this is a good idea, but I’m saying it’s a waste of time and effort to do this when we’ll just have to redo the whole process later. You want a summer release. We don’t have the time, and do we even have enough budget–”

Yoongi tilts his head to one side with an amused smile. “Are you sure this is the right business for you? Should you be in risk assessment instead? Why are you here worrying about budgets and timing? That’s the whole point of doing preliminary demos, to help you see what direction to take and guide the creative process–”

“Okay, okay. Retract the claws, fellas,” Seokjin jumps in this time. “I’m with Yoongi on this one, JK. Take it easy, man.”

Jungkook tongues his cheek and nods begrudgingly. He makes it seem like he’s taking it in stride, tucking his chagrin behind a mask of indifference. Yoongi shrugs with a triumphant grin, clasping his hands together as he gestures both Seokjin and Jungkook to the soundbooth.

“What?” The younger man stares at the other two. “You want me in there too?”

“Yeah, just to test some stuff out. You have a nice voice,” Yoongi admits, and even though he’s being genuine for once, Jungkook still feels like it’s condescending somehow. Anything that comes out of Yoongi’s mouth is patronizing to him. “Couldn’t hurt to see how it would sound like with Jin hyung. Maybe we could even use it later.”

You’ve been trying to keep your head down and shut out all the sounds. Sounds of Jungkook fucking singing. Why did Min Yoongi have to force him into the box?

Back then, you used to tell him that he’s good enough to be a singer. He’d sing you to sleep whenever you were plagued with insomnia, or when you were sick, or just whenever you wanted him to. His voice always soothed you, made you feel warm all over. 

As if ignoring him today wasn’t difficult enough already.

“You’re bleeding.” You hear someone say a while later. 

Your head snaps up to see what’s going on. Somebody’s bleeding? How did that happen? But Seokjin and Jungkook are still in the booth, both looking at the paper that Jungkook is holding, talking to each other about something you can’t catch. You scan the room, brows furrowed, until you see Yoongi looking at you.

“Huh?” He points toward your hands. “You’re bleeding.”

Your eyes follow his line of sight until they land on what he’s staring at. You put the pen on the table and flex your hands. He’s exaggerating, they aren’t bleeding. Well, technically, they are if you count the reddened patches of cracked skin between your knuckles as bleeding. Your hands are just dry because the weather is cold. It happens. Dramatic Yoongi.

You wave him off with a smile. “Eh. It’s fine. I’ll put some lotion on it when I get home,” you lie. You don’t even have any hand cream. You’ve only tried using a dollop of body lotion on your hands once, but you didn’t like how your skin just felt so sticky afterward that it would leave visible prints when you touched your phone screen.

Yoongi shakes his head lightly. “No, you won’t. I’ve noticed that for a few days now.”

You level him with a look. “What are you, the hand police? It’s just dry hands. I’m not gonna die from that.”

“No, you‘re not,” Yoongi agrees, but regardless, he stands up and walks to retrieve his bag from where he left it on the couch. You watch with curiosity as he rummages through it until he pulls out a white tube of something. He crosses the distance to get to where you’re sitting and settles into the chair next to you. He reaches for your hands then, and says, “But do it for my sake. I don’t wanna look at your ugly witch's hands all day.”

“Yoongi!” you hiss, instantly scowling and failing to push him off when his stronger hand grasps one of your own. He pops open the tube and squeezes some of the cream onto your skin. “What are you doing?!”

“Hold still,” he says because you keep squirming. When the sheer weight of your glare on his face makes him look up at you, Yoongi actually glares back at you. Gasp. “Hold still,” he repeats firmly. 

You huff out a breath in annoyance. You glance at the booth to see if the guys are looking, but Seokjin still appears to be focused on the music sheet. You see and faintly hear him humming, his fingers tapping the air like he’s counting the beats. Jungkook, though… Jungkook is looking.

In the few seconds that your eyes meet his, you can tell that he’s trying to understand whatever the hell he’s watching here. You feel your cheeks heat up and you don’t really know if it’s because of Jungkook’s hard gaze on you or the feeling of Yoongi’s hands on your hands. You quickly turn away, missing the way the man in the booth pokes his tongue into a cheek.

You try to kick Yoongi in the shin but he manages to block your foot with his knee. He tuts at you disapprovingly. You watch him with a petulant frown as he rubs the cream into the back of your hand, between your knuckles, over each of your fingers. It feels expensive, though you would expect nothing less from Min Yoongi. The cream soaks into your skin right away, unlike that body lotion of yours that was obviously not made for this purpose. 

“You’re so overreacting over nothing,” you tell him.

“No, I’m not. Y/N, your hands were starting to look like coconut shavings,” he says casually, still focused on being your self-appointed hand masseuse it seems. “Is he looking?”

“What?”

“Jungkook,” Yoongi clarifies, his eyes darting up to your face for a brief second. “Is he looking?”

You exhale through your nose. “He was,” you say flatly, quite displeased with his shenanigans. “Yoongi, I told you not to do shit like this.”

His movements gradually slow. You don’t think there’s any more product on the surface left to absorb anyway. “I’m not doing this because of Jungkook, I promise,” he says, not pulling away just yet, letting his skin linger on yours. His head is still tilted downward, his gaze seemingly glued to where his thumb is swiping over your fingers. Jungkook used to do this too - absentmindedly playing with your fingers. It’s cute, and you hate to admit that the little things like this make you feel warm. You clench your jaw just once. Maybe it’s a guy’s thing.

For a moment, you actually think that he’s being sincere. About what, you don’t know. Then Yoongi looks up at you, eyes crinkling as he grins. “But pissing him off is definitely a huge plus.”

“You’re insufferable,” you tell Yoongi, rolling your eyes and shoving him away with your now moisturized hands. You gotta be honest, they do look and feel a lot better. Maybe you should pick some lotion up after work. You won’t tell Yoongi this, but you tried the exact one he just used on you a while back, in a store, and it smelled so good that you thought about it for two whole weeks. But when you saw the price tag, you immediately recoiled. It was one of the brands wherein the products were more expensive than the city’s median rent, so no wonder Yoongi would be the one to have something of theirs. Different tax brackets, you think.

Yoongi stumbles a little from your push. When he stands up, he takes one of your hands again, opening your palm and placing the tube there. “Use it every night before bed,” he instructs, like he’s a pharmacist and you’re just someone waiting to pick up their prescription.

“What?” You look at him, so serious and kind of offended. “Yoongi, I am not using your old shit!”

He sighs, wrapping your fingers around the tube so you would hold it there. “I don’t even use hand cream. I got that for you yesterday.”

Jungkook is so done. It’s been such a long week and it’s only the first day of the fucking week. After feeling so utterly helpless around you, losing to Yoongi and then watching Yoongi have his little moment with you right in front of him, Jungkook fully intends to drive straight to Jimin’s and raid his liquor cabinet until he gets a grip and figures out what to do on the you front. Especially since you called him out like that.

Jungkook hasn’t been able to focus in over an hour, after you left to go home, but he’s still cognizant enough to save the bits that he and Seokjin recorded earlier. He has witnessed how pissed Namjoon can get when they lose files due to carelessness, and no matter how level-headed his mentor usually is even in the most stressful of situations, Jungkook absolutely does not want to be on the receiving end of Namjoon’s scoldings when the man lets anger get the best of him.

Jungkook glances at the corner that you usually occupy with your nose buried in your notebook. It’s so empty in here; everyone else has already left. He sits there, heavy with so many realizations all at once. It feels like college all over, only this time, he isn’t just a stupid kid with a crush and a weird way of showing affection. He’s hurting you again. No matter what he does, he just keeps making it worse for you and him.

You were right, and it must’ve taken a lot for you to say what you said to him. It was crazy, and foolish, and most of all cruel for Jungkook to think he could patch things up with a smile. He knew how devastated he left you. Didn’t need to see the mess he made to know how much it fucked you up. Didn’t need anyone to tell him – even though his friends all tried – to know how unbelievably heartless it was to abandon the person who loved him the most. But back then, he believed he was doing the right thing. That’s how he coped with it, by trusting that it was the best decision he could make at the time. 

He still remembers that day like it was merely 24 hours ago.

The obliviousness in your voice when he told you he was coming over to talk and you said you had exciting news to share. The way he had cried in the car on his way over, pulled himself together just long enough to say “I’m breaking up with you,” and watched your eager smile drop. He could practically feel your heart in his open palm, crumbling to nothing as he gave it back to you. Like he was saying “I don’t want it anymore.” He remembers crying again on the drive after.

Everything is different now, but if he could go back, even with the knowledge of the fallout, he would still choose to do the same.

There was no point in telling Jimin, Taehyung, Hoseok, or just about anyone, why he felt like he had to do it. They would’ve just called him stupid and told you. He’s sure that if you knew then, you would try to reason with him, maybe you would even beg. And if you had begged him to stay, then there was no way he could follow through.

Jungkook locks up the studio and leaves. When he passes Jihyo at the reception, he hears her call his name but he pretends that he doesn’t. He’s too tired for this tonight. He just wants a drink, and he just wants to see you even though you were with him all day. 

Skipping the parking lot for now, Jungkook walks to the nearby store, wanting to bring something over to Jimin’s or else the older man will just grumble at him for coming empty handed. When he rounds the corner, he sees you walking by yourself in the small park across the street. Your hands are shoved in your pockets while you stare up at the starless night. Jungkook thinks you should belong in a painting.

He stands there curiously. If you looked straight ahead, you would see him. But you seem preoccupied with the clouds floating through the dark blue, too lost in thought to notice much. Your hand comes up when something lands on your face. A second later, Jungkook feels something wet and cold against his cheek too. He remembers.

He pulls out his phone, fiddles with it for a minute as he contemplates, and ultimately decides to tap on your name in his contacts. Pressing the device against his ear, he listens to it ring, and watches you fish your own phone from your bag. He takes note of the furrow between your brows, the fleeting clench of your teeth. He almost thinks you wouldn’t pick up, but you do.

“Hello?” you answer uncertainly. 

“Hey,” Jungkook says, “where are you?”

“Uhm…” There’s a pause. He wonders if you would lie. “Just out getting some air. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m just… in front of you right now.”

Confusion overtakes your features. When your gaze crosses the street to land on him, you let out a small Oh, and give him a small awkward wave. He ends the call and rushes over, even though he doesn’t know what to say to you. He watches you wince, because you always hated whenever he jaywalked. It makes him smile a little.

“Hi,” you say as Jungkook stands in front of you.

“Hi,” he returns. “Mind if I join you?”

You stare up at him for a few seconds before deciding, “Yeah, sure.”

“What are you still doing here? You left like two hours ago,” he says. You walk together further into the park, where lonely lamp posts dimly light your path.

You shrug. “I went to get dinner and just… I don’t know. Felt like I could use some fresh air.”

“In this weather? It’s snowing.”

You both watch the breath that you huff out. “Well, it didn’t start snowing until you got here.”

The first snow, or just snow in general, is never as romantic as they make it seem in the movies. Sure it’s pretty, and when the ground is covered in a thick blanket of snow, it makes for a good Instagram story. But in reality? Snow is so fucking dirty, and when it starts melting, it is absolute hell for everybody. Your weather app didn’t say that it would snow today, but you should’ve known better than to trust that damn thing.

Jungkook hums, and silence falls over you like the snow, making everything so damp and gross. You hope it stops soon.

When some snowflakes land directly on your cheek, you wipe the moisture away with mild annoyance. “I hate snow,” you grumble, pulling your scarf tighter. If you had known that it would snow, you would’ve worn something with a hood and your sturdier boots.

Jungkook chuckles lightly as he watches you hiss when some snowflakes land on your head, startling your skin with its frost and slowly dampening your hair. “You don’t hate it,” he says. “You just hate it when you’re walking in the snow. I know you.”

The universe doesn’t give you time to dwell on that last comment. The ground beneath you turns slippery as you keep walking. You yelp loudly when your sneaker-clad feet skid on the thin ice sheet that the snow has created. You’re fully prepared for your ass to hit the pavement and consequently bruise in about half an hour, but Jungkook catches you with both hands on your waist, pulling you flush against him so you don’t hit the ground. Unlike you, his shoes have more traction.

Your heart hammers from the suddenness of the last thirty seconds. You can see each heavy breath that leaves your mouth and promptly dissipates into the cold air. You don’t realize that your hands are gripping his shoulders to help steady yourself, as if he doesn’t already have his arms wrapped securely around you, and you realize then that wow, this is the closest he’s been to you in years. It’s unbearable just how much you’ve missed being in his arms.

Just two people on an empty street, tangled up in each other, the falling snow your only audience – you look like you’ve landed yourself right in a romance drama, but in reality, this is anything but that.

You clear your throat and shuffle backward, out of his strong hold, careful not to trip and make a fool of yourself any more than you already have. “Thanks,” you say. “I should head home. It’s getting late.”

Jungkook nods. “Do you want to walk back to the company? I can give you a ride home.”

You consider this. The street is steadily being swallowed up by layers of white, and you don’t doubt that it will only be more difficult to navigate the road by yourself as the night gets darker and colder. Cabs are running more sparsely. It would take you forever to get home, especially in weather that makes you feel like a calf learning to walk for the first time.

“Yeah,” you agree, “sure, okay.”

The walk back to the building’s parking lot is mostly silent, and so is the ride to your apartment. You’ve never felt the first snow on your skin before, having always preferred to stay indoors on nights forecasted to experience snowfall. There’s something so wistful about witnessing the inauguration of winter yourself, how these delicate flowers of ice not only herald the ending of a season and the beginning of a new one, but also signal that another chapter of your life is about to close forever. It prompts you to mull over the last 12 months, to see if you’ve accomplished anything you set out to achieve or if you’ve wasted an entire year of your life. To share a moment like this with Jungkook makes you wonder if the universe is trying to send you a sign.

When the car stops at a red light a few blocks away from your place, you take the time to watch the snowflakes twirling outside the window. They wander in front of you, free yet aimless, like they’re asking if they could come in and seek refuge from the freezing cold. Not knowing warmth would be the thing that kills them. Adrift with the gentle wind until they land on the glass, only to die a mere second later. You break the silence.

“It’s kinda nice now,” you say, eyeing the marshmallow-looking ice that’s starting to pile up all around while you’re sheltered by the warmth of his car.

“See?” Jungkook chuckles. “Told you you only hate snow when you have to walk in it.”

“Hmm.” It’s true. You don’t want to admit it, but he did know you. Knew what drove you and what made you tick. Knew how your brain worked and how your heart moved. Knew that you loved him long before you could say it out loud.

Even when you lied that he doesn’t know you anymore, deep down you’re very well aware that he still does. 

“Can I ask you this one thing, though?” you say calmly, but something must alert him that you aren’t looking to talk about the weather or some other meaningless shit. Jungkook doesn’t give you a verbal answer, nor any other indication that you can go ahead and voice your question. He just looks at you before the light turns green, like he doesn’t really want you to ask anything but he has no other choice but to let you. Like he’s scared of what you might demand from him.

It’s okay. You weren’t asking for permission anyway.

“Did I…” love you enough? Was there a single moment where you thought I didn’t love you? “Back then,” you swallow, keeping your eyes on the snowy streets that turn into ivory blurs as the car starts moving again, “did I ever make you feel like you weren’t enough?”

Your ears don’t pick up on much sound in the infinite pocket of seconds that follows. Not the low hum of the car’s radiator, nor the wind that becomes harsher right outside the window. Just his breathing and the beat of your own heart, drowning in the anticipation of his answer.

What if he says yes? Would it mean that after all this time that you spent blaming him, it’s been your fault all along? Were you the one that drove him away?

“No,” he says, interrupting that voice in your head. “Not once.”

You don’t doubt that he’s telling you the truth, but it doesn’t make you feel better. His tone tells you there’s more than he’s letting on, but it doesn’t matter now. Before Friday night, Taehyung had asked if you would ask Jungkook the question, and after some consideration, you had said no. Maybe if it were a couple of years ago, or even a few months back when you saw him again, you would have said yes. You used to think that if he ever came back for whatever reason, the first thing you would ask him is why. You would confront him, demand an answer, make him walk you through every single thought he had before he decided to ruin your life.

But no answer could change the fact that he did leave. There is no excuse good enough to justify how he left you so completely crushed. Sure, knowing would give you some of the closure that you were desperately seeking at one point, but what if it makes everything worse? What if he left because he was looking for something, something more than you could give? What if he found it, only to realize then that it wasn’t worth leaving you for after all?

Now, at least you know that your efforts were felt. You did the best you could, loved him the best way you knew how. 

The man beside you clears his throat. You only notice now that Jungkook has already pulled up in front of your building. You haven’t spoken much before tonight, not about what happened at Jimin’s party. You weren’t sure how to bring it up, or if you should even bring it up. He seemed like he was trying to avoid the topic too. You had the weekend to relive every moment of that night over and over, and you obviously don’t want to talk about it, but you have to address it sooner or later if you want to move forward in peace. 

“Hey, uhm, about the other night…” you start.

He stiffens a bit, and then sighs. “I know,” he says. “You were right. It’s not fair of me to–”

“I’m sorry,” you cut him off firmly. “Some of the things I said were harsh, and I’m sorry.”

Jungkook looks at you in surprise. His ears must deceive him, because, “Why are you apologizing?”

“I told you. I was harsh and it was uncalled for.”

“No, it wasn’t,” he says, frowning. He twists his body to face you. “I deserved it. You were right to call me out. Don’t backtrack.”

You stare at him with your lips pursed. “Why are you trying to argue right now?”

“Because I deserve your rage. Be mad at me.”

“I am mad at you,” you tell him but there’s no bite. You’re softening, loosening your grip while he’s the only one trying to hold on. “But I don’t want to be anymore.”

“Why not? You should. You have every right.”

“Jungkook, it’s been five years,” you chuckle without much humor, thinking back to what you’ve been doing in the last half a decade. Stalking your ex online, mourning your lost love every time he gets into a new relationship, holding out hope. And for what? What’s the point of it all? It’s not like you and him are going to get back together again. It’s a waste of time, time that you could spend trying to let him go and move on, whether he gives you that closure or not. “I’m tired and I just want to get on with my life. I don’t want to keep being bitter about it. What good will that do?”

His face is so serious all of a sudden, like he wants you to actually scream at him. Curse him out. Anything. “Then what do you want me to do?”

“Don’t feel like you have to make amends, or do anything right by me. Can we just, I don’t know, let the past remain in the past? I don’t want to make our friends feel like they have to act a certain way around me when it comes to you. It’s my problem, not theirs. I don’t want to make them uncomfortable anymore. So please, I’m not asking for anything else. I just want us all to… move forward.”

It’s then that he sees, oh, maybe you do belong in a painting. Sitting right in front of him but you’re so far away. He was once the artist but now, he’s merely a spectator.  “Do you mean that?” he asks quietly.

“Yes, Jungkook. I’m really tired,” you say. “Why would you of all people want to be reminded of what happened?”

He swallows thickly. You can tell that he isn’t too fond of the idea, even if what you’re proposing gives him a way out. It lets him off the hook. But for some reason, he’s hesitant to take it, might be resisting it even. You can’t bring yourself to understand why, but eventually, he says, “Okay. If that’s what you really want.”

He doesn’t put up much of a fight, though it doesn’t exactly sound like an affirmation, but who even cares?

“Right, then,” you mumble, unbuckling your seatbelt and gripping the strap of your bag. “Good night. See you tomorrow.”

He says it back, and lets you go with a strained smile.

Yoongi’s fingers tap on his knees to the beat of the music playing in the background. You were surprised when he called you on a Saturday, asking if you were free, telling you that he had something to say. You didn’t have any plans and Yoongi said he was treating you, and well, you don’t need to be convinced further.

Here you are, in a fancy restaurant, sharing a tiramisu with Min Yoongi. How nice. You thought he’d have better plans than just hanging out with little old you.

“Will you please just tell me now?” you say, looking at him with playful puppy dog eyes. You take another bite of the dessert, and practically have to stifle a moan when the sweetness melts in your mouth. You honestly think you have romantic feelings for this tiramisu. “I’ve been waiting for like two hours.” 

Yoongi swirls the wine in his glass before he brings it to his lips and takes a sip, all the while looking at you, so happy with the treat that you’re supposed to share but he doesn’t even touch. When he sets his glass down, he calls your name, making you glance up. 

“Do you still… y’know… Jungkook?”

You stare at him back, confused. “Do I still I know Jungkook?”

Yoongi rolls his eyes. “Don’t make me spell it out. You’ll just beat me if I say it.”

“Oh, so it’s something annoying then? Then please, keep it to yourself.”

“Okay, then,” he says, smiling so obnoxiously because he knows you’re too curious.

Give it a minute.

“Oh my god, fine,” you give up, drawing out the sentence exasperatedly. “Do I still what Jungkook?”

Yoongi regards your face teasingly. “Do you still have feelings for him?”

Your entire body goes rigid. You don’t even try to hide the way your face falls upon hearing his question. What’s the point? He’ll just see right through you anyway.

“You took me out to dinner just to ask me that?”

He nods. “Yeah, among other things.”

“I mean…” You set down your spoon. No one has ever asked you that before, and it’s not a question that you yourself have considered. Jungkook still affects you, that much is clear. Thinking about your relationship still affects you. Does that mean that you have lingering feelings for him? You’ve yet to solve this, and truth be told, you aren’t sure if you would like the conclusion it leads you to. You give Yoongi a vague answer, because even you yourself don’t know what the truth is. But it doesn’t matter, now that you’ve made the active decision to let it all go. “I’m trying to move on.”

“Hmm.” He doesn’t seem very satisfied with your choice of words. “Do you still hate him then?”

This, you don’t really need to ruminate much on. “I think part of me will always hate him for what he did.” And part of you will always love him in spite of what he did.

Yoongi leans forward with both of his arms on the table, contemplating how he should word this. You deserve flowery words and romantic grand gestures, but alas Yoongi is blunt, and sometimes rough around the edges. He has great timing too. Just as you raise a glass of water to your mouth to soothe your dry throat, he says, “Let me be your revenge dick.”

It makes you choke, sending water down every wrong pipe as you cough harshly. It dribbles down your chin and a few drops plop! onto your light wash jeans. You’re glad it wasn’t wine. You would’ve killed him if he made you stain your newly bought trousers. While you try to hold onto dear life, he has the audacity to fucking laugh. When you kick his shin under the table, he hands you a few napkins. It takes you another minute to calm down.

“What the actual fuck?” you hiss. The little “incident” earns you a few weird looks from people sitting nearby. It’s so embarrassing, but Yoongi is acting like it’s the funniest shit he’s ever seen.

“Let me be your revenge d–”

“I heard you the first time, Jesus Christ. Please don’t say the word “dick” to me ever again. In fact, please stop talking altogether. Please don’t open your mouth ever again.”

He does not abide by your request, opening his stupid mouth again and thus cementing his place as your least favorite person in the entire world right this minute. You lost half your brain cells listening to that one singular sentence. Jesus fucking God. Who in their right mind would utter something like that? And to you, no less? Fuck. Men.

One of these days, you swear you will pop an aneurysm. It’s so ridiculous that it’s not even funny. But Yoongi just keeps talking like you’re asking him to elaborate.

“What I’m saying is… use me.”

“For what?” You’re genuinely so perplexed as to what the point of this conversation is, or where it’s even going. This man has a way of surprising you more and more each day.

“For revenge dicking purposes.”

You do your best to suppress a shudder. Where did that term even come from? “Oh my god, why do you keep saying that? We’re in public! What if someone hears you?!” 

The man sitting across from you grins, showcasing his pearly whites, clearly very amused by your reactions. “You gotta show Jungkook what he’s missing. Make him regret it.”

“Min Yoongi,” you say slowly. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“No. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever been this serious,” Yoongi answers. “Let me be your arm candy. I’m very good at that.” You’re very curious about who raised him and how he turned out to be this way. You can’t believe you have to tolerate him sometimes.

You give it another minute before you say, “I’ll have you know that Jungkook and I had a very productive talk. We’re in a much better place now, so your… whatever services won’t be necessary.”

He leans back, eases up, and stares at you thoughtfully. Like he doesn’t really believe you. Like the cogs of his mind are once again turning. “Okay, that’s even better. I don’t have to be the rebound. I can just be your main piece.”

Looking at him pleadingly, you bemoan, “Yoongi, why are you doing this to me?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“It absolutely is not obvious!”

“Seriously?”

You cross your arms, raising an annoyed eyebrow at the man. “Listen, I don’t know what kind of people you’re hanging out with, but my friends don’t go around offering to–”

“Because I like you.”

You could practically facepalm. As he stares at you, not even blinking anymore, you reach for the salt shaker on the table to pour some onto your hand. When he opens his mouth to ask what you’re doing, you flick the miniscule white crystals in his direction. 

“Wha–”

“Yoongi, I can’t believe you wasted a whole evening for that lame ass joke.”

“Did you really just…” He throws his head back, laughing in both disbelief and amusement. “Wow. You tell a girl you like her and she throws salt at you. That’s definitely a first for me.”

“It’s not funny. Stop saying that.”

“Stop saying what?”

“Stop saying you like me!”

“But I do like you,” he says, voice softer now. “I’ve always liked you.”

You mentally groan, sucking your teeth before you reach for the salt again. He grabs your wrist before you could hold it up. 

“Quit it and listen to me. I’m serious.”

When you look at Yoongi, he’s wearing an expression you don’t think you’ve often seen, or ever seen before. There’s no trace of that familiar teasing smile that’s almost always on his lips, nor the mischievous glint in his eyes that he usually sports. This side of Yoongi is new to you. This side of Yoongi makes you hold your breath for some reason.

For a second there, you believe what he’s saying.

“Come on. You’re taking this too far.”

“Why do you keep thinking this is a joke? You know I would never do that, Y/N.”

You pull your hand back to pinch the bridge of your nose. “Because you keep using me to mess with Jungkook even though I’ve asked you multiple times to–”

“Can you not mention his name?” Yoongi straightens in his chair. This is the closest he’s ever come to being annoyed with you. “I’m trying to tell you how I feel and you’re thinking about Jungkook.”

You liked it better when he was cocky about it.

“You can’t possibly be serious right now.”

Yoongi purses his lips, his eyes telling you that he’s irritated with you too, only he’s much better at containing his frustration. You both stare at each other for god knows how long because neither one of you understands what the other is trying to say.

When Yoongi speaks next, his voice is so calm, so low that it makes your spine run cold.

“You were always so oblivious.”

“Oh my god, pick up, pick up, pick up,” you mutter to yourself like a deranged person on the sidewalk, telepathically urging Taehyung to answer the phone before you’ve even called him. His phone filters through your speaker after the third ring. Kim Taehyung, always so quick to answer your calls.

“What’s u–”

“Oh my god, Kim Taehyung, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, you will not believe what just happened,” you rush out in one breath. “Where are you? Are you at home? I’ll come to you. Oh my god!”

“Jesus, did you mix coffee with Red Bull again? Slow down,” Taehyung says. “I’m at Jimin’s now.”

“Oh? Okay.” This is even better. Jimin’s apartment is much closer to the restaurant than Taehyung’s place is. “Is it boys’ night? Nevermind. Doesn’t matter. I’ll come over right now. Be there in 15!”

“What? Wait, Y/N, no, Ju–!”

You hang up before he can say anything else. You bounce on your heels as you flag down a cab, so awfully restless and you just want to tell someone. On the ride over, the driver keeps glancing at you through the rearview mirror every few seconds; your nervous energy must have infected him because you look like you just found out that someone is freaking dying. When you arrive at your destination, you take a deep breath before you hurry up the stairs. Jimin’s building is old and has no elevator, which normally sucks because he lives on the fifth floor and you absolutely despise stairs. But right now, you have so much adrenaline coursing through your veins that five flights feel like a piece of cake.

You have no doubt that the men inside know it’s you from the way you ring his doorbell repeatedly. Jimin opens the door with an exasperated look, to which you pay no mind and just press a quick kiss against his cheek in greeting before you barge into his home in search of Taehyung.

“Kim Taehyung! Where are you? This is an emergency, I need y–!”

When you do find him, however, he isn’t alone. Sitting next to Taehyung on the couch and holding a bottle of beer to his lips, is none other than Jungkook. You all look at each other awkwardly as the words die on your tongue, killing some of the nerves while you bite your lip to keep your mouth shut. Jimin waddles into the living room after he shuts down the door and plops down next to Jungkook. Now there are three pairs of eyes on you.

“Oh, uhm, hi,” you say to Jungkook. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“Hi,” he says, and offers you a beer on the table. “Want one?”

What you said to Yoongi at dinner wasn’t exactly untrue. You and Jungkook are kind of in a better place now. In the last few days, since you had your little chat in his car, he’s let up on the crap that he was pulling before. Something still feels off to you though. Feels like his head isn’t really in it, that he’s still doing this for the sake of trying to ease his guilt by going along with what he thinks makes you happy. Whatever. It’s at least a little progress, you suppose.

“No, that’s fine.” You wave Jungkook off before inching closer to Taehyung and pulling him up by the arm. “Uhm, I just needed to talk to Tae and I’ll be on my way!”

You drag your friend into the guest bedroom that Jimin has recently turned into an office, all the while ignoring his shout of “This better be good! Don’t forget to tell me later!” as you shut the door.

You glare at Taehyung. “Okay, why didn’t you tell me that Jungkook was here?”

“I tried to!” He raises his hands in surrender. “You hung up on me. I texted you about it.”

You rummage through your bag for the phone that you so hastily shoved in there before getting into the taxi. The notification on your screen glares back at you.

[21:42] Taebear 🐻: jungkook is here btw. dunno if you’re cool with that

“Right…” you mutter. “My bad.”

“Well?” Taehyung prompts, then his face turns worried as he gives you a once-over. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

You inhale deeply, holding onto his wrists and staring him dead in the eye. Even with the door closed and with Jungkook and Jimin all the way in the living room, you keep your voice low. “I think I just got propositioned.”

Your friend blinks slowly, or rather, he closes his eyes for five whole seconds before he opens them. Taehyung visibly relaxes when he comprehends that you are, in fact, okay and healthy, and that you’re just being overly dramatic.

He pushes your hands away. “Fuck off. I thought something bad happened.”

“Something bad did happen!”

“You are literally the worst person.”

“I’m serious!”

He groans and looks at you like a disappointed parent. “Fine,” he relents, “what happened?”

“I think Yoongi sort of pimped himself out to me today.”

Taehyung opens his mouth, closes it, and does it again a few times. “You can’t just say that and not elaborate.”

“He said he likes me.”

There comes that slow-ass, neverending blink again. Taehyung looks like the meme, like he’s seeing the world in nothing but equations.

“I fail to see how that would be considered pimping oneself out.”

“Well, you have to hear what he said after–”

A mop of fluffy blond hair materializes out of thin air, startling you both. You didn’t even hear him come in. That sneaky little thing. “What are we talking about?” Jimin asks, lowering his volume to match yours. “Why are we whispering?”

“Why are you here?” You look behind him at the door that he left ajar. “Where’s Jungkook?”

“He’s in the living room.”

“By himself?”

“Well, there’s no one else here, so duh.”

You exhale exasperatedly. “Now it’s gonna look like we’re talking about him.”

“Aren’t we?”

“We’re talking about Yoongi,” Taehyung says, casting his eyes to the ground briefly.

“Yoongi?” Jimin asks, glancing between you and Taehyung with a slight frown. “Your Yoongi?”

You raise an eyebrow in question. “What do you mean my Yoongi? There’s only one Yoongi. He’s the Yoongi.”

“Okay. So what’s up with the Yoongi?”

Taehyung turns to his wonder twin with an unamused look. “She’s doing that annoying thing where she gives you a single detail of the story and you have to ask her to keep going every time.”

Blondie makes a face. “Oof, yeah, that’s annoying. Don’t do that.”

You gape at the two of them. “I’m giving you tea and you’re complaining about my storytelling skills?”

You should’ve expected it, should’ve known what was coming the second that question left your mouth. The guys don’t even need to look at each other to be in sync when they echo, “Yes.”

“But seriously,” Jimin says, “what about Yoongi?”

“We went to dinner tonight and he… said he likes me…” you tell him, and physically recoil at the memory. Oh… the horror. “And he said, oh my god I can’t even repeat it without wanting to jump off a bridge, he said to let him be my revenge dick.”

Jimin gasps. Taehyung chokes on his own spit. They both sputter out, “What the fuck?”

“Right?!” you cry, still so fucking mortified by the experience. “I almost died just sitting there. I can’t believe he made me listen to that with my own two ears.”

Taehyung is the first one to turn serious. “What happened after that though?” You don’t know what you would do sometimes if there wasn’t a Kim Taehyung to ground you.

“Well, I came here.”

“So…” he drags out the single word, “you ran away from him?”

Jimin looks at you expectantly too, wearing the same question in his eyes. You frown at them. “What? No. I threw salt on him and told him to stop fucking around and then I lef– Oh my god, I did run away.”

Shit.

Shit.

“Hold up, what the fuck,” Jimin cackles, like this is all just so funny. “You threw salt on him?”

You let out a nervous laugh, and point finger guns at your friends idiotically. “But it’s fine. Because obviously he didn’t mean it.”

“Why would you think he didn’t mean it?” Taehyung asks.

“He’s an annoying little shit sometimes! And,” you keep your volume under control again, “he hates Jungkook. He’s only doing it to piss him off.”

Taehyung purses his lips, regards you with a look you don’t like because you’re trying to sort through this logically, convince yourself that it isn’t real and that Yoongi is just missing April Fool’s day by four whole months. Why is your friend making this more difficult?

“Is it so hard to believe that someone can like you?”

“Yes,” you say seriously, “when that person is Yoongi.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s Yoongi!” You throw your hands up. “He’s not like us.”

“I hate to break it to you, but celebrities aren’t above having crushes.”

You look at Jimin for help, but he just shrugs, choosing silence as the neutral option or maybe staying silent is just his way of agreeing with Taehyung. This isn’t the reaction you expected when you rushed here to give him the goss. Taehyung doesn’t blindly support your every decision or try to rationalize your every move just because he’s your friend. He tells you to your face when you’re being absurd, so you really don’t get why he’s the one being unreasonable right now.

“Oh my god, please,” you say. “Yoongi absolutely does not have a crush on me.”

Jimin chimes in. “Well, he did literally just admit that to you.”

You send him a glare that says, Oh, so now you’re talking?

You turn to Taehyung again. You can’t believe this is happening. Are you two really arguing? About whether or not Yoongi actually likes you? While Jungkook is sitting by himself in another room? You bet nobody has this on their bingo card.

“I told you. He’s just trying to fuck with Jungkook.”

“Why do you keep saying that? Why do you think he’s trying to fuck with Jungkook?” Taehyung challenges.

“Because he’s my friend!” you groan. It’s the most obvious thing in the world, but no one seems to believe that Yoongi is just your friend. “You’re my friend too. But you’re being so fucking annoying now.”

He narrows his eyes at you, as if to prove a point. “Yoongi is that good of a friend that he would go out of his way to mess with someone he hadn’t even met until a couple weeks ago?”

“I– well– maybe!” you stammer, blinking up at him. The height difference is clearly not doing you any good. “He’s a very petty person. And when he isn’t being a little shit, he can be a very good friend.”

Taehyung scoffs, seriously getting on your nerves. It isn’t even any of his business. You just wanted to tell him for the sake of sharing with your best friend, not ask for his opinion on any of it. He doesn’t even know Yoongi, never even met him.

“I know what people are like when they’re in love with you,” Taehyung mutters, eyeing the ground. Jimin makes a noise and nudges his friend in the rib, shaking his head while he does so.

 You, petty little you, want to fire back. “Oh, so Yoongi is in love with me now?”

Taehyung opens his mouth, prepared to continue his assault on your sanity when Jimin has to step in, waving his hands in front of you both. “Alright, that’s enough,” he says. “Why don’t we just call it a night and let’s reconvene when everybody is thinking straight, yeah?”

Taehyung doesn’t even look at you. You try to release your frustrations through a loud exhale, but it doesn’t do much. When all of you venture out into the living room to leave, you remember that Jungkook is still here. He looks at yours and Taehyung’s disgruntled expressions, then at Jimin’s face as he not-so-subtly shakes his head, silently telling him to not ask any questions. Poor guy, this was boys’ night after all. You couldn’t have spent more than 30 minutes in Jimin’s office. He was just quietly drinking his beer and watching TV out here, unaware of everything going on in the room just down the hall. Now everybody seems pissed and the night is spoiled.

You bid Jungkook and Jimin a curt goodnight before you head for the door, saying nothing to Taehyung because he clearly doesn’t deserve any pleasantries after tonight. You end up going home with more questions than answers.

You hate this. You hate it so much.

Now that you’re finally starting to actually coexist with Jungkook – of all people! – the other men in your life have to come for your head?

You haven’t spoken to Taehyung since that night, which was only three days ago, but still. It’s the longest you’ve gone without talking to your best friend. You don’t know what was up his ass, and Jimin has just been telling you to not overthink it, that Taehyung will reach out when he’s calmed down. It makes zero sense to you, because how does your situation affect him in any way? What does he even have to calm down from?

With Yoongi, on the other hand… Well, you’re still convinced that he was just being good old insufferable Yoongi. This is how he has always been – teasing, easy going, and has a good rapport with you. That night was just a fluke. Maybe he had too much to drink and didn’t know when to stop the joke from getting too carried away.

You are not fighting with Yoongi. You are not fighting with Yoongi. You remind yourself of this, so that when you see him in the studio next, everything is okay.

Yoongi arrives some time after lunch and brings everybody coffee. You expect him to be lighthearted as always, which he is, and you expect him to sit next to you as always, which he does. He laughs with Seokjin, chats with Namjoon about the art scene, pokes “friendly” fun at Jungkook every now and then. You two work side by side, bouncing ideas off each other like you normally do. He doesn’t mention the dinner, which makes you feel a whole lot better about that night because see? Everything is fine. If everything is fine with Yoongi then everything is fine with Taehyung too.

Some time around 5pm, Yoongi asks if you should all go out for drinks tonight. He gets shot down by the guys though. Apparently no one is up for after-work drinks on a Tuesday night.

“You’re no fun,” Yoongi grumbles before turning to you with hopeful eyes. “Y/N?” he whines, “Indulge me like you usually do, please?”

“No, thanks,” you decline. You glance up in time to see Jungkook quietly chuckling to himself. “Today is my self-care day.”

“Tuesday is your self-care day?”

“Because tomorrow is Wednesday. I have a pre-Wednesday routine.”

“Did I ever tell you that you’re very weird about Wednesdays?” Seokjin asks.

You hum in thought for a moment before answering him. “You did. And then you told me a really bad dad joke.”

He makes an exasperated Ahh noise as he recalls the very moment, then blasts his booming windshield wiper laugh when he remembers the joke he made. “Hey, that joke was killer!”

“It absolutely was not! The only decent one that I’ve heard from you is–”

“No, no, hey,” Yoongi cuts in, “don’t entertain him and his stupid jokes. Come onnn, you know I hate drinking alone. Go for a drink with me, princess. You used to be my drinking buddy all the time.”

“Uh huh,” you scoff. “And look where drinking with you got me.”

“I allow fraternizing in the workplace as long as I’m still the priority, guys,” Seokjin chirps in. 

“That’s not what I meant,” you say quickly. “No one is fraternizing with anybody!”

Yoongi hums quietly. He drops his volume, just for your ears. “No? Is that your answer then?”

“What?” you whisper. You don’t know why you’re whispering. You just do it because Yoongi is doing it.

“You kinda ran out on me the other night.”

“I didn’t–”

He gives you a look.

“Okay, maybe I did… but only because you were being ridiculous!”

Yoongi licks his lips and tips his head toward the door. He’s the first one to stand up and head out of the room, followed by you half a minute later. You appreciate him wanting some privacy for you two to talk, but you don’t like that this is a conversation that needs privacy. You were all just joking around in there. If this is still a joke, why is he leading you out here?

Walking out the door, you hear Seokjin call after you, “Fraternizing!”

“That is not what’s happening!”

You find Yoongi in the empty breakroom, leaning against a counter.

“You can drop it now, Yoongi,” you say.

“What?” he tilts his head, looking at you curiously. “You still think I’m messing around?”

“Obviously.”

“Why is that?” he asks. “What makes that so hard to believe?”

It’s what Taehyung asked you the other night too.

Because you’re you! is what you almost say. It’s the same answer you gave Taehyung, because, well, do you even need another explanation? You don’t tell him that though, thinking it might offend him somehow. Instead, you throw him a question.

“Okay. Sure. Let’s say that you are serious. What happened? When did you even start liking me? Why are you telling me now?”

Yoongi exhales gently, straightening up to walk closer to where you are. He stops when he’s right in front of you, looking right into your eyes and using the same voice he did that night. “I always liked you. I liked you last year when we first worked together and I like you now. The only difference is then, you weren’t trying to move on,” he says, so unwavering that it makes you stagger.

That… is not what you were expecting. You blink up as he smiles down at you fondly. You feel lightheaded. Maybe even scared, because what if he means it? He sounds too sincere for it to just be all fun and games. You remember the way he held your hand when he made you put on that stupid fancy lotion.

His voice keeps lowering, and you hate that it makes you nervous. Your stomach twists, your heart pounds against your ribs.

“If you’re moving on now, can’t you do it with me?”

Looking back now, were there signs that you should have noticed?

You stand there, processing, not knowing what you should say to him, not really even breathing anymore. Yoongi must interpret your silence as realization, recognition, because he chuckles, again amused by your reaction.

“Yoongi…”

He stops you, though you weren’t going to say anything else. You feel like you could cry. Maybe he sees it in your eyes. Yoongi pats your arm gently, still smiling. “I’ll let you sleep on it, princess.”

When he leaves the room, you keep standing there by yourself. So Taehyung was right? Your friend who has never had a single interaction with Yoongi, who has only heard about him from the stories you shared, could tell that there was something there? That Yoongi had feelings for you all along?

At the dinner, Yoongi said you were always oblivious.

Is it possible that you really had no idea, or did you just force yourself to look the other way?

That night, was he hurt? After you repeatedly dismissed him and eventually walked out?

Oh, Yoongi…

When someone enters the room after you’ve been standing here for what feels like forever, navigating the sea of your own thoughts, you startle to life.

“You okay?” Jungkook asks, eyeing you as he goes to fix himself a cup of coffee.

“Yep, mhmm,” you respond. You try to shove away all of your unraveling emotions. They could wait until later.

You have no idea why you’re still standing here, watching Jungkook make coffee with his back to you, but that’s arguably a better idea right now than to go back to the studio where Yoongi is. 

“You know,” Jungkook starts, pressing the buttons on the fancy coffee machine that you don’t know how to use. “I don’t think it’s very professional. Y’know, Yoongi flirting with you all the time.”

You stare at his broad shoulders with your brows furrowed, already on edge even though you don’t know what he’s referring to.

“What?”

“I don’t think it’s professional,” he repeats. “Yoongi flirting with you all the time.”

“When has Yoongi ever flirted with me?” you ask. It’s meant to sound sarcastic and defensive, hoping he’ll take the hint to back off but really, now that you’ve said it, it’s a question that you yourself would genuinely like the answer to.

“Admit it,” Jungkook says, turning around to face you. “It’s not like he tries to be very subtle about it. All the nicknames, always complimenting you, even when he put his hands all over you the other day right in front of us! There’s no way that you’ve missed the way he looks at you sometimes.”

You blink a few times, not sure if you heard him right. You hope your brief silence gives him a chance to backtrack when he sees how offended you are, but he just stares at you. Jungkook really does have the worst timing, and it doesn’t take long for your anger to overflow. Moving forward together in peace lasted a whole week, huh?

“Even if Yoongi is flirting with me, how is it any of your business?”

“It kinda is my business, though, isn’t it? Considering he does it at my place of work.”

Oh, he’s gotta be kidding. 

“Okay, it’s your place of work,” you hiss. The steam rising from his fresh mug of coffee might as well resemble the cartoon-like smoke churning from the top of your head. Jungkook seems taken aback by your reaction, but honestly, what the hell did he even expect when he said something like that to you? “So you fucking the receptionist must be so professional, right?”

Paling about a hundred shades, he looks like you just poured a bucket of ice cold water over his head. The gulping throat, the parting lips, the guilty eyes and his whole demeanor exuding shock and embarrassment, because Jungkook didn’t know that you knew, let alone foresee that you would throw it in his face. He stands there, dumbfoundedly muttering, “How– Who told you about that?”

You ignore his question. Why does it even matter who told you? If you were less angry, you would be more curious as to how he thought this was going to go. Why would he say something like that out of nowhere? 

He said he deserved your rage? He wanted you to be mad? Fine. Be careful what you wish for.

You feel sick to your stomach and he would come to you and say shit like that. Like Jungkook can dictate anything about your life. Like he has the right to fuck things up and leave when he’s had his fun.

Your sinuses burn when you speak next. “You don’t see me running to you, whining about how Jihyo always looks at me like she wants to gouge my fucking eyes out. How she’s always so nice and bubbly to everyone but then when it’s me, she acts like I ran over her fucking dog.”

Yeah, he definitely wasn’t expecting this reaction.

“Y/N, I’m sorry, I didn’t–”

“No, just save it. You talk a big game about trying to do right by me and then you go and say shit like this. How many times do I have to tell you? I’m so fucking tired.”

People often say that you should never make decisions when you’re angry. No one wants to end up regretting something they said or did in the heat of the moment. You’ve always thought that this is good advice, and you always try to live by it because you know your temper can get the best of you sometimes.

The keyword here, though, is try.

You run a hand through your hair, feeling infuriated at this point because Jungkook keeps fucking explaining himself, even though he’s the one who started this whole thing. You can’t even properly hear what he’s saying, all of his words going into one ear and out the other. Something about it not meaning anything and ending it with her months ago. 

You take a deep breath and look into his panicked eyes.

“You’re such a fucking hypocrite.”

You think he’s apologizing again, from the way his lips form the words I’m sorry, but your pulse is ringing so loud in your ears that you don’t really catch the sounds. The anger inside of you still simmers despite having spilled over. Your face is so eerily calm that you hope it scares him. When you turn on your heels to leave, you know he’s following you back to the studio. You sit back down beside Yoongi but you don’t meet his eyes. You keep your gaze trained on the open notebook, nursing that anger.

You should’ve known that there’s no moving forward with Jungkook. If anything, he just wants to tie you to the past and never let you leave. Is he that immature, that selfish that even after all this time, after what he did, he can’t stand the idea of you and someone else?

You briefly make eye contact with Jungkook from across the room before you turn to Yoongi, your voice loud enough for everyone to hear.

“On second thought, that drink does sound nice,” you tell him with a smile. “Pick me up at 9?”

— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted december 31, 2022]

#jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook x you #jungkook fanfic #jungkook imagines #bts x reader #bts x you #bts fluff #bts angst #bts smut #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bangtanbathhouse #btscarnivalnet #btshoneyhive #clubzerooclock #52hertz #fic: our beloved summer

[samgirl98]

Mending a Family 6/?

Prev | Next

Here, have some Batfam angst

Bruce

Crime Alley was mourning the loss of its hero. Bruce refused to believe Jason was dead.

Neither he nor his other children had been able to make any headway in their hero persona. In the end, Bruce went to Crime Alley undercover as a homeless man. No one had seen hide or hair of Red Hood in almost two months. Everyone thought that Red Hood had died; it never occurred to them that Jason might have left.

(He was alive; his son couldn’t be dead again. There hadn’t been a body.)

Bruce looked at the camera footage on the day of Jason’s disappearance. Unfortunately, there weren’t many cameras in Crime Alley, so he only occasionally caught glimpses of Jason’s red helmet.

(Why hadn’t he fought harder to add more cameras in Crime Alley? Bruce could’ve funded better security for the place. He had wanted to respect Jason’s wishes but look where that got him.)

“Hey, B, still looking at the footage? Found anything new?”

Bruce didn’t take his eyes off the monitors but answered Dick’s questions.

“No, nothing new.”

That was the frustrating part. Nothing new popped up, no matter how often Bruce looked at the footage. There had been no anomalies, no significant rogue attacks, and Jason hadn’t gotten into any fights with other drug dealers. The little footage he saw of Jason had him interacting with some of the women he protected or handing out bags to some of the kids. There was nothing that indicated that Jason was planning to leave.

(He left. He had to have left. His safe houses were full of dust and empty.)

“Bruce, maybe it’s time you stopped looking at the footage.”

Bruce paused the video and glared at his eldest. Dick put his hands up.

“I’m not saying let’s stop looking for him. I’m saying looking at the same thing over and over again isn’t going to help us find him.”

Bruce glared at the last clear video they had of Jason. He knew Dick was right, but he had no idea where to start. No one in the hero community knew Jason was alive again. Jason didn’t have any friends or allies outside of Crime Alley. The last time they had spoken, he had ended in a shouting match because Bruce had asked Jason if he knew anything about the disappearance of a child rapist over a year ago.

Bruce regretted many things in his life; not making things better with Jason was now at the top of his list.

“What do you suggest we do?”

“Maybe it’s time we brought in others to help us.”

Bruce frowned. He didn’t like bringing in other heroes regarding Gotham’s or his family’s affairs.

“Listen, I’m not saying we tell the whole hero community, but I can ask some team members to help. I’ll tell them to keep it to themselves. I know Roy would love to help when he finds out Jason is still alive. Kori can travel the world and maybe keep an eye out. Victor can hack into systems worldwide, and Raven can probably sense him. He has returned from the dead; that has to leave some signature.”

“Hmm,” Bruce thought about it before nodding. Dick gave him a quick smile and left the cave. Bruce picked up his phone and waited for the person to answer.

“Bruce, is everything okay?”

“Clark, I need to speak with you. Can we meet at the usual place?”

(Why hadn’t he reached out sooner?)

Tim

In another part of Gotham, Tim Drake was in his base of operation (fondly dubbed the Nest).

Instead of repeatedly looking at the same footage, Tim was trying to find if anything weird had happened in the city on the last day of Jason’s appearance in Crime Alley. Here were the facts.

Even though it had been late April, the weather had been unseasonably cold. While that could have been a coincidence, Tim doubted it. The weather started at 79 degrees F and ended in the low 20s. Mr. Freeze was still in Arkham, so he couldn’t have done it.

Fact two: his scanners had picked up weird readings he had never seen before. At the same time that the weather started dipping, the unknown readings had risen.

Fact three: the night of the anomaly, Jason had disappeared.

The three things had to be connected. Tim texted Barbara to run a test to see if she got the same results and also to see how long the anomaly lasted while he did the same. He was going to find Jason.

(His family depended on it.)

Dick

Dick hung up on Roy, his screams still echoing in his ears. To say that his team had been upset he had kept Jason’s resurrection a secret had been an understatement. Nobody had been as angry as Roy.

Dick understood where Roy was coming from.

(Bruce had kept secrets from him, and he knew how it felt.)

But he hadn’t wanted his little brother to be remembered differently now that he had strayed off the hero path. He deserved to be remembered as that sweet little boy who thought being Robin was magic.

It didn’t matter anymore. What mattered now was finding him, and if that meant being yelled at or reprimanded by his friends, well, as long as they found Jason, he could take anything his friends decided to dish out at him.

Damian

Damian frowned at the phone. His finger hovered over the call button. He noticed how Jason’s disappearance affected the family. Father was coming home with more bruises. Richard smiled less often, and they were more strained when he did. Timothy was sleeping less. (Though Damian didn’t care what the buffoon did, he just wanted to ensure Drake was firing on all cylinders when they went on patrols.) Alfred had stopped making witty remarks. He cooked, he cleaned, and he greeted them, but something was missing in the older man.

(Would they worry about Damian the same way if he disappeared? After all, father didn’t choose him; Damian was thrust upon him.)

Damian pressed the call button and waited for the answer.

“Mother, I need another favor.”

Alfred

Alfred stood outside Jason’s old room. He hadn’t entered to clean since Jason disappeared. Alfred knew he had to. After all, it was his job to keep the manor tidy and orderly.

His heart ached at the thought of entering Jason’s memorial.

(The suit downstairs was a memorial for Robin, one that Alfred despised; the room was Jason’s.)

Alfred took a deep breath and opened the door. He had a job to do. Besides, his wayward grandson deserved to come to a clean house.

Once more, I would like to remind people that I am open to suggestions and prompts for this fic. I don't have an overarching plot, I'm mostly focusing on Batfam angst, found family, and eventually, way, way, waaaay, down the line for reconciliation. So have fun suggesting

@idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @skulld3mort-1fan @theauthorandtheartist @emergentpanda-blog @jaggedheart11 @fisticuffsatapplebees @booberrylizard @fantasticbluebirdfan @thegatorsgooseoose @cyrwrites @kjoboo91 @crystallicedart @amaramizuki666 @spekulatiusmuffin @meira-3919 @kilasmess @bubblemixer @lexdamo @wonderland-daisy @mj-arts-n-stuff @amyheart19 @dolfay @the-church-grimm @undead-essence @aph-mable @lizisipancardo @purrloin77 @writer-extraodinaire @charlietheepic7 @sinfulloccultist @nootherusernameworked @coruscateselene @chaoticchange @itsberrydreemurstuff @gmkelz11 @feral-bunny31 @paroovian @thatonegaybitch68 @d4ydr34min9 @overtherose @fandomwandererer @vipower001 @thordottir45 @blackrabbitt3t @rosecinnamonbun @bianca-hooks123

#mending a family #dc x dp #dp x dc

[weirdmageddon]

OK OK SO!!

First off!!! Hello fellow davejade enjoyer i see you. Second off—what sort of things do you wish you could’ve seen with these two in canon :0. Could be expansion on canon scene, arc direction, or just a new scene entirely. for me personally I would’ve loved to see some genuine fighting collaboration going on. I felt VERY teased with all the magic combo’s in collide.

Third! I know they do a lot of music collaboration in canon, and I’ve seen some things with them making a band together post canon. What sort of sound do you think they’d have/what artist do you think they’d sound like?

Thank you :))

okay god theres so much i wish was expanded on in canon with regard to dave and jade

this post is swan dive into homestuck meta and took me over a day to write. so i would appreciate feedback or discussion on this if you'd like, reblogs appreciated!

despite this question being posed as davejade related, my answers here are actually relevant for anyone interested in homestuck meta as well.

it’s just recently come to my attention that there are a a handful of people on twitter who are vocal davejade dislikers. i didnt know it was actually disliked until i looked it up on twitter, i honestly thought it was a joke blown out of proportion but no they exist! it surprised me a lot to see people think they "lack chemistry". not only because knowing what i know about them thats a ridiculous insinuation, but also i haven't seen the vitriol on tumblr. probably because we can actually poast about it on here in an unabridged manner which thus enables better, deeper critical analysis and engagement with the media. i think also people forget that dave strider is canonically bisexual and are too yaoipilled + facing the consequences of the epilogues to even give davejade a serious look/analysis. (dave dates terezi and karkat in separate timelines, thinks jane is hot, thinks roxy is a babe but shoves it down when he discovers she’s his ectomom lmfao. davesprite—an extension of dave himself—dated jade! but i'm going to cover that in more depth in this post since theres a lot of misunderstandings about the nature of that relationship in fanon.)

(as a side note according to what some people have told me in inbox and what ive seen lol i think that ive been inadvertently been getting people into davejade. it's all in my davejade tag here in chronological order if you'd like to get a Whiff. be sure to read the tags on posts in there too!)

even though theres a lot in this post as it is, it doesn't cover everything ive talked about wrt davejade, and i think it would benefit readers to have complementary posts alongside this for the full picture with stuff it doesn't cover. there's a ton about why theyre cute and why i think they work well together in that tag.

here's some highlight analysis posts, but be sure to check the tag because there's a more in there:

post a / post b / post c / post d / post e / post f (← one of my favorite ask responses ive ever gotten)

i think a huge chunk of the issue has to do with how the narrative handles dave and jade. one of the most damning things to me is how glossed over their canon interactions were in act 5 despite them collaborating on one of the most important things in the story. i haven't talked about this yet but i'm going to do so here. because they’re put on the backburner by the focus of the narrative during act 5, people who don’t read carefully will miss the implications that are there all along in canon but easily passed over.

under the cut ive separated it into multiple parts

1. Jade’s Quest: What Frog Breeding Entails

this is an analysis examining apart exactly what jade and dave did while frog breeding. i wrote it while high which was extremely enlightening and it allowed me to comprehend it and hopefully explain it in an understandable way. i also discuss how shitty the lack of on-screen communication between jade and dave was for this part and the next.

2. Jade & Dave vs. Jack Noir

ive discussed this one before on my blog so it's not as dense (see davejade tag). but i still sewed the gifs together and discuss how unfortunate this was to be be delegated to a banner at the top of mspa and the neglect of that whole arc despite the outcomes of it being reissued by characters thousands of pages later

3. Davesprite and Grimbark Jade

i get into davesprite's head here and try to make his motivations about the breakup clear to the extent that i can infer because jesus fuck i love these characters way too much ive known them for a decade i understand their core personality structures and why they think what they do and what is most likely to happen when extrapolating? i also talk about how grimbark jade changed the way the fandom perceives their relationship, leaving davejade on a low note instead of a high note. and then hs epilogues had even worse consequences for davejade but i wont get into it because it was character assassination all around and doesnt deserve my time or yours. but if you wanna know what i think, here

4. The music question

where actually answer this ask like it's an ask and not an essay

1. Jade’s Quest: What Frog Breeding Entails

i wish we could have seen what collecting frogs entailed for the two of them. what exactly were they doing? jade’s quest is one of the most interesting.

before i start i want to take a tangent and say the frog breeding reminds me of back in 2020-2021 when i would breed hybrid flowers in animal crossing new horizons to get a very specific gene sequence for these flowers to not only use to breed for hybrids, but to get known gene sequences that i could use to “check” the genes of other flowers. the goal is to get two parent flowers whose sequences when bred would make a specific phenotype 100% of the time.

this sounds complicated but here’s what i did for the lilies:

(“rare island” refers to one of the first acnh patches that removed a nook miles island from the pool that had hybrid versions of your native flower of very specific phenotypes for each color. i wrote out the breeding chains to get parents that would always breed that exact flower found on the rare hybrid nmt island that is no longer available.)

the cleanup ALL TO GET the white 2-2-2 lily looked like this. and after i got white 2-2-2 lily it was smooth sailing

after all that i could use the orange 2-2-0 lilies and white 2-2-2 lilies made in the black lily process and get rare island orange 2-2-1 lilies 100% of the time. in mendelian genetics these numbers (2-2-1) are quite literally RR-YY-Ww.

RR-YY-ww (orange) x RR-YY-WW (white) = RR-YY-Ww (orange: heterozygous Ww gene)

and all that effort into getting white 2-2-2 lilies enables me to get it over and over again now. i don’t have to repeat that process to get rare island pink lilies. all i need to do for the pink 2-0-2 lilies is breed two default bag red lilies (2-0-1) together. 50% will be red (2-0-1) lilies, 25% will be black 2-0-0 lilies, and the last 25% will be pink (2-0-2) lilies.

anyway sorry back to the main point. FROG BREEDING. it just reminded me of it. now that i think of it the frog breeding process also reminds me a lot of artbreeder back from when AI was only a fun little toy 4-5 years ago

ok so have a look at what kanaya says about what jade must do. this is the coolest quest imo because of how it progresses and how long it actually is

here’s how it works. remember back in act 2, when the wayward vagabond needed to tie a longer cable to descend down the ship (and refused to give up the ones that made up his mayoral sash)? he used the appearifier in the ship to appearify the extra cable across the gap to his location? that’s how the appearifier normally works when when it’s locked to the present. it’s very straightforward.

when jade appearifies a frozen frog, it shows us this exact thing. she appearified the actual frog itself (the same way WV appearified the actual cable across the gap) to her exact location. it can get the frog out of the ice in the way WV could untrap serenity from the amber. if something’s destiny wouldn’t otherwise be changed, it will not be paradoxified, it will just simply itself be warped to that location, with precise carving if it is somehow trapped inside of something else.

if you could appearify it to your location right now, you wouldnt be able to take it out the appearifier’s crosshairs in person later to alter its destiny because the object won’t be there at that time. it wouldve been with you the entire time. unless you decide to take the appearified item back to that location so that you could appearify it in the past, but that’s the most pointless time loop ever and doesn’t change its destiny.

for this icicle frog jade and dave weren’t capable of changing its destiny anyway, because it was completely encased in ice, and just didn’t bother to go after it. partially because it was with jade at the appearifier the entire time anyway and she can’t exactly put it back in there in the future. the point is, besides jade appearifying it to her location, the frog had no other possible routes of destiny. in that part of lofaf where she appearified the frozen frog from, the ice is too deep to get anything out of it (other than appearifying it) and i’m not sure the forge would have melted it in time before their reckoning ended anyway.

the goal of jade and dave is to target frogs on the appearifier screen and trust that their future selves follow through in altering the frog’s destiny. if so, then the frog’s paradox slime will appear instead and its genes would be collected in addition to creating offspring between multiple paradox clone frog genes. then, dave and jade would necessarily have to go out adventuring and find the frog so that they end up following through for their past selves.

if i understand correctly, jade is creating all the frogs on her planet that grow up with manually modified genes. these frogs must be genetically altered from their parents so that the frogs she creates don’t grow up to become one of their parents (as they’d be identical). the mutant offspring frogs “generation A” she ectobiologizes will eventually mature from tadpoles to frogs, assisted by dave’s time travel. then she will eventually target “generation A” with the appearifier to get their paradox slime to fuse with some other frogs’ paradox slime and create new slightly altered frogs “generation B” (and then follow through on altering the “generation A” frogs’ destiny so their slime and genes can be paradoxified by jade and dave’s past selves). repeat until the genes are fine tuned for the genesis frog.

this is why i compared it to my breeding in animal crossing. getting the genesis frog reminds me of the blue rose paths. i worked with the garden council back in the day and i used backwardsN’s “cesspool” method, except i honestly gotta say my white 2-2-2 lily thing was much more involved and carefully maneuvered in a way that i imagine frog breeding is more like. backwardsN’s “genepool method” was basically making a red-orange-black rose primordial soup and waiting for a blue rose to emerge out of it, just increasing the chances seeing a blue rose sprout the next day after watering with each generation of offspring. you KNOW my ass was using time travel, even if i happened to get lucky and got a blue rose without even finishing the big turtle plot. without time travel, most players (95%) will get their first blue rose before these # of days. (open up advanced tag)

there must be so many daves running around to help her going back in time all within the span of a few hours while still having their own linear, older timelines that are much longer than the “time stage” they’re actually functioning in. this sounds complicated but it’s not. think of this “time stage” as analogous to the 3 days until the moon falls in majoras mask. it’s the “time window” all the time travel takes place within, but link doesn’t become a day younger when he travels to a day ago. the timeline of his “self” is older but is kept within the confines of the 3-day timeframe. similarly, in tears of the kingdom, two master swords exist simultaneously for most of history, but the one on the light dragon’s head (who was above the cloud barrier before the upheaval btw) is further ahead on its own linear timeline: it starts as the other, pre-gloomed master sword → broken by gloom → sent to the past to be repaired → renewed over time, existing at the same time on the “time stage” as its own pre-gloomed past self but ahead on its own linear timeline

now imagine this but within the “time stage” of just a few hours within the same 24-hour period. kanaya says frog breeding ordinarily takes weeks. multiple daves can exist simultaneously because they’re operating in the same few-hour-timeframe but one can linearly be days ahead of another. it’s the exact same thing as breeding flowers in animal crossing for irl days but to your game it’s whatever date you have it set to. your irl progress isn’t lost if you go back a few days in settings. i’d often find a week in june to use as a “time stage” to loop through when it would rain at least one hour on each day of that week which would save me the hassle of watering my flowers every day before time traveling to the next.

it must’ve sucked for dave to hear jade say the same things over and over again. the novelty probably wore off pretty fast lol…… dave says he saw his future self fighting and dying to jack and knew that’s what he’d eventually have to do as well. every single dave at all points of his linear timeline understood that and it probably settled something horrible into his heart.

im imagining during the original run dave was thinking to himself: “im bored but cant alter anything about this without creating a doomed timeline. if i dont see my future self hugging jade then i cant hug her even though i really fuckin want to. note to future self: hug jade. aww shit look at me go guess i remembered. hell fucking yes cant wait for that to be me in a few hours” and gives a thumbs up

future dave pov, hugging jade and watching his past self give him a thumbs up from afar thinking to himself: “ahaha i remember exactly what i was thinking there” and gives a thumbs up

but anyway. goddamn. JADE AND DAVE. what did hussie do to you.

this is a goddamn atrocity.. what the hell man. i wish we could have at LEAST seen the text file jade sent to kanaya. we got to see ConversationWithAVeryStupidGirl.Txt but not daveisafunnyguy.txt?

i mean i GUESS the humor is delivered through this

and like, yeah that is pretty funny? but i feel like the single laugh this gives me is nothing compared to the joy i wouldve gotten out of seeing what dave has to say about the cloning apparatus for ants here and talking himself into circles about frog procreation enough to make not just gigglehouse jade laugh, but kanaya too

we spent so much time learning about the mechanics of the punch designix and hardly anything about creating the seed of the actual new universe. we learn about it through kanaya and karkat messaging jade, instead of dave and jade working that out through SHENANIGANS. even though this is JADE AND DAVE'S session. it’s fine that kanaya is helping them, as she should, but we’ve seen parallel pesterlog conversations before so i dont get why we didn’t get that here! jade and dave frog breeding is one of the most important events in homestuck, and yet it was terribly glossed over. everything in the story, their futures, are predicated on their success. not just in their unwinnable session, but the one they split up for 3 years and escape to.

at first i thought, maybe their lack of shown interaction has to do with hussie working out the intricacies of pesterlog/dialogue thing? as he once stated on tumblr:

shoshaumbay asked: In the intermission of act 6, it says that they get to talk. Does this mean that their guardians couldn’t talk to them before and that is why they left them notes all around their houses?  The achievement badge only upgraded their ability to speak to each other as presented through the comic. I.e. it permitted them to speak to each other… WHILE WE WATCH! Do you think all the trolls were hanging out together, not talking at all? Or Dave and Jade were doing all that frog hunting without a single peep?? That’s ridiculous. On the other hand, abstraction weaves itself through the Homestuck reality, and it can be hard to pin down where abstraction is to be taken literally. The truth is, there is not much distinction between the layers of abstraction and the reality they are meant to stand for. John was both literally named on his 13th birthday, and not quite, because that’s silly. The guardians are both literally silent automatons, and not really, as there is indication through allusion they function as normal people too. And the kids went through a huge adventure, achieved immortal god status, and even then had to gain a few more levels just to gain the achievement of simple dialogue as a literal upgrade, as well as not literally, because that makes no sense. The reality is inseparable from the way the story is presented and the way the “game” is played. But those abstractions are also a facade for a more life-like reality beneath it as well.

then i realized, this is not only an arbitrary cop out that affects my enjoyment of the comic in retrospect because they wind up being able to talk later anyway and that makes me feel cheated in these moments, but also still actually awful within these parameters because hussie breaks his own rule here, proving he could have shown us dave and jade talking in person at any time regardless of needing the gift of gab achievement for us to watch them as readers. recall this is also the first time john and rose met in person (at least when rose wasn't asleep):

2. Jade & Dave vs. Jack Noir

this is where i take out my frustration over this being delegated to a banner at the top to the point where readers forgot it occurred.

(also i want yall to take a moment to acknowledge this ^)

i wish their time on lofaf frog breeding and fighting with jack was front and center and wasnt just in the banner at the top of the page. it makes it seem not as important when it completely was, considering that characters brought up what had happened in that scene multiple times.

it is significant because it is at that point that jack noir has killed all of the kids at least once. the only one left being jade who he refuses to kill due to bec’s loyalty

THIS IS WHAT THE REFRANCE (foreshadowing)

jack noir killed john on his quest bed which allowed him to ascend to god tier. then he killed john AGAIN but it wasn’t a heroic or just death so john was revived

jack killed grimdark rose. john smooched rose’s corpse, allowing her to take over on derse.

jack killed dave by redirecting jade’s bullets into dave’s body instead. jade smooched dave’s corpse, allowing him to take over on derse.

after jade shoots him through jack, he’s down for the count. she kisses him and he wakes up on derse; all he and rose have left of “themselves” in an existential sense are their dreamselves. they didnt know they were going to ascend to god tier delivering the tumor. they assumed they were just going to die like for real and not come back which is why dave went with rose since he didnt want her to die alone.

it was also an important point since her time spent with dave on lofaf is the first in-person contact jade has had with another living human since she was probably 4 years old with her grandpa.

for jack noir, we got [s] seer: desend and [S] ==> (3696) which were hella impactful. seeing jade and dave essentially go through the same thing but with an extended battle sequence honestly kinda warrants a flash in my mind. (the sad thing is that unite synchronization was originally written with those pages in mind (the track was originally called redshift) but of course malcolm brown couldnt have known what was going to happen unless hussie commissioned him for a specific track for a specific story beat, probably like whatever he did to coordinate cascade’s music with toby ahead of the 10/25/11 release of the flash and publication of volume 8 on bandcamp)

i think one of the worst parts is that entire conversations were referenced, but cut or never written.

this is a real forgotten homestuck fact: jade was completely freaking out after filling dave with bullets until karkat had talked her through it. very easily forgotten since even though it being referenced twice we never actually saw the conversation. (i overrode the black scratch background so it's easier to read)

wow thats so crazy i as a member of the audience dont in fact remember! would it have killed to write it my guy

and we find out thousands of pages later dave was thinking more about how it wouldve made jade feel to watch him die than knowing he was about to fucking die. if you even care btw

i wrote more about this here

3. Davesprite and Grimbark Jade

davesprite—an extension of dave himself—dates jade but breaks up because he feels inadequate at being the dave that he thinks jade deserves. NOT because they fought or anything. they were still on good terms. davesprite just felt inherently unlovable. john seemed more upset about the breakup frankly.

what davesprite did was because he thought it was in jade's best interest. there is nothing to suggest it was a fight / clash break up. they still seemed to be on good terms, davesprite asking where she went and all. jade says the breakup “is complicated” and “hes going through a lot of stuff”. given the context i think it's reasonable to assume that davesprite's thought process was: “we're coming up to the new session soon and youre going to meet up with dave again and i dont want to make shit awkward with you dating knockoff dave. you deserve to be with real dave instead so im gonna cut what we have going here in advance and distance myself from your life”

jade probably protested about saying how he's just as real as “real dave”, but davesprite made his decision already. im sure it wasnt easy for davesprite to break up either. with emotions running high (sadness, not anger) he probably just left to be alone and distance himself from jade, and seems to harbor guilt about it as we see in the log. that's probably why he wasn't at john's movie party. this is just speculation on my part but it doesnt seem in character for the breakup to be explosive because jade seemed more understanding than john. sad, but understanding.

i feel like a lot of people forget this. grimbark jade made it seem like davesprite did it to hurt her, or for this to mean that dave and jade are not actually good for each other, which is a wild mischaracterization of what happened but the one that stuck with the fandom nonetheless.

not only that, but davesprite's existence tragic and he's understandably depressed. after spending about a year in sburb (accounting for time travel) without john or jade, only to go back and give up your personhood to advance the alpha timeline and become forgotten is fucking crushing, and i think the breakup is also about davesprite coming to terms with that trauma, being okay with his existence as a sprite instead of being a bootleg stand-in for the dave that jade knew.

basically what vintagegamebro says,

it was such a tragic way for them to part for 3 years with no communication, and it was only proceeded by more tragedy because jade then had no one but davesprite to turn to, and davesprite needed anything but romance at that point

grimbark jade isn’t a good reflection of jade’s actual self. she pushed the mayor into lava for fucks sake which normal jade would never dream of doing, grimbark jade is straight up unhinged. i’m sure jade was hurt because all breakups hurt, but it was blown out of proportion (see how calm she was above a few days after the breakup?) because of Evilness. but also as @vintagegamebro mentioned it also felt somewhat … “off”? or out of left field? especially seeing what the nature of the breakup was from both sides in the above screenshots.

when dave says “theres no way i would have done that to you” i genuinely believe him. i have no reason not to believe him. look at him above asking for questions and clarification. thinking about how what davesprite did, a version of himself beyond his control and how it reflects on himself, i think it's obvious dave cares a lot about how jade feels about him

even after this confrontation in the game over timeline, dave laid down his fucking life to defend her corpse from the becs in he hope she could be revived by jane

and to think that after all this he still chose to save her, like always, probably knowing he had little to no chance, just because he cares for her, her life and who she is beyond this moment, really meant a lot for them. i really, really was mad that this would be the last time they would truly ever be together in a way that to me mattered

4. The music question

i wrote this post regarding instruments with this song in the back of my head if its anything. takes about 12 seconds to start after you press play for some reason

this too, closer to the “style”. i like imagining dave going apeshit on drums

#homestuck #dave strider #jade harley #davejade #homestuck meta #hs

[grendelsmilf]

i sort of wish madi had been less charitable towards eleanor. it isn't really a flaw, but it would make sense and ground her in the world more as a character. she comes across like thomas, but thomas 1) exists as a memory, 2) had many blindspots we can pick up apart that made him a flawed a idealist. madi is just fucking right. she deserved to be as pissed as flint about it.

right like thomas seems like a good guy who means well but his ideals straight up suck and that is shown to us again and again throughout the show to the point that flint ultimately refuses the pardons and strives to dismantle the british empire altogether. i see him as representing flint’s initial naïveté and selfishness that he has to continually work to excise across the show. like you said, he represents a flawed ideal. he’s barely a character in his own right.

whereas madi is a character, but her ideals are correct and she is an excellent communicator and exceedingly brave and gracious and kind and beautiful and poised. so it’s like. well okay. is her only “flaw” just having put her trust in a guy whose whole deal is that he knows exactly how to comport himself to make himself likable in any situation??? doesn’t really seem like a major flaw, especially considering that they first bond over her showing him genuine empathy and concern over his actual pain. like she’s literally perfect.

i think if we had seen her interact with people besides flint and silver more, her character could’ve been fleshed out more so that she felt like a real human being instead of just some irreproachable goddess. like if she had ever talked to max(!!!), for example. or spent more time in her home discussing various practical approaches to their revolution, such as with julian. i do actually like that she’s gracious to eleanor (to a point) because it also clearly comes from a place of pity and she’s kind of petty about it, which does illustrate how some of madi’s virtues could also conceal. well not flaws, per se, but just like. actually human emotions.

but really i just wish they’d given her more time to be a person, because what makes every other principal character in this show so excellent is how their histories inform their actions, both in terms of their ideals and their manifold, complex flaws. madi has ideals, but she has no flaws, because her ideals are simply good and true. so she’s obviously a necessary character in the sense that she’s utilized correctly from a thematic approach of exploring these conflicting ideals and the cost of embracing and rejecting them, but she’s not a particularly deep character, and that’s sad to me, because i think she could have been if they’d allowed her the space to explore her own subjectivity beyond what she represents to a bunch of white* men.

#ask #anon #o.tv #white* bc i know you guys are gonna say silver is mixed 😭

[pascalsangel]

The Greenhouse Keeper

authors note: this is my first time writing fanfic 🥹 so please be kind!! i'm hoping to make this into a series, i'm trying to go for an enemies to lovers, but i'm not sure how strong it's coming across. it's not proofread 🥲so sorry if there are any errors. any feedback or comments are greatly welcomed!!

pairing/AU: joel miller x female!reader - jackson era

word count: 1,708

summary: joel got a reassignment and that’s where he meets y/n

also, if you are reading this, then please do your daily click:

Tommy and Joel had recently been out for their usual patrol run with a small crew when things quickly turned south. Joel had accidentally veered off from the group to check the surrounding wooded area. He didn’t hear the single infected that had snuck up on his right side. He acted as quickly as he could’ve when he finally noticed the infected running up on him, but it was too late. 

He had got a good shot which killed the infected, but he had lost his balance when he pulled back to avoid being bitten. He tried to catch his fall, his right ankle ended up taking the most damage as he rolled it. The makeshift doctor at Jackson had given their best guess of a sprained ankle, but they couldn’t say how severe. They recommended a minimum two weeks of rest and elevation which Joel rolled his eyes at. Now, he was at dinner with his brother trying to figure out how soon he could get back to patrols. 

“Tommy, we both know that this is a bunch of bullshit. I don’t need to be reassigned. I’ll be fine to go back on our next patrol shift,” Joel sighed out. He pushed his plate away, losing his appetite from his frustration. “I mean for fuck’s sake where is she even thinkin’ of putting me?” 

Tommy looked at him with disbelief. “Joel, we both know that you can barely walk on your fuckin’ leg right now. You’re not ready for patrols. You were grimacing in pain just walking on your way for cryin’ out loud. Maria is doing what’s for the best.” 

Maria overheard the last part of their conversation as she pulled the seat next to Tommy out to join them. “What am I doing for the best?” she said. 

“I was just telling Joel here how much he’s going to love his reassignment to greenhouse till his ankle heals.” Tommy said through a smirk. 

Joel leaned back and crossed his arms. “You're joking, right?” He said, as he slowly looked between the two. 

Maria looked over at Tommy, seeking out any sort of help to console his brother, but his grin just kept getting wider. “Joel, listen. I know the greenhouse is probably the last place you’d want for reassignment, but it’s just until your ankle heals. There are no other role openings at the moment, so this decision is final.” 

“Fine, but I’m not happy about it,” he grumbled. 

You were pulling out your set of keys to the greenhouse to open it up when you heard your name being called behind you. You were there a bit earlier than your scheduled time, so you were surprised that someone was stopping by already. 

Maria approached you with a small wave. As you looked past her, you noticed Joel Miller was slowly making his way over to join you guys. You knew who Joel was, everyone in Jackson knew who he was, but you’ve never actually met him. You were a bit flustered that he was here right now since you’ve noticed him around the commune and have always found him to be attractive. He commanded each room that he stepped in, and it was hard to ignore him with how much space he took up with how broad he was. His hair has grown out since the last time you’ve seen him and had more white peppered throughout it. You hid your smile at his attempt of growing out a beard and the small empty patches throughout it. You desperately wished that he would spare you a glance, but he rarely interacted with anyone that wasn’t Ellie, Tommy, or Maria. Butterflies were fluttering in your stomach at the possibilities behind his appearance. 

“I’m so glad that I remembered that you tend to open earlier, I caught you just in time.” She said, just as Joel finally reached her side. She gestured over to him, “Joel, this is Y/N, she’s the greenhouse keeper. He was recently injured on patrol, so I’m reassigning him to work with you for the next couple of weeks.” 

You were hoping that a friendship could blossom from working closely with him. He seemed like the no-bullshit type, he would make it apparent if he truly wanted to be friends or not. His friendship would be a secret into getting to know the real him, the person that he is around those that he loves. It is no secret that you’ve struggled to make genuine connections with others since arriving at Jackson a year ago. As the greenhouse keeper, people have tried to take advantage of being acquainted with you. It was hard to tell if you people truly liked you or because they thought you would sneak them more potatoes. You were envious of the tight knit group that Joel had. 

“It’s so nice to meet you, Joel. I’m sure that we can find a way to accommodate your injury.” You said as you met his eyes, you were surprised to see so much frustration reflected in them. 

He simply stared at you and gave a curt nod. He was acting as if you were the one inconveniencing him. 

Maria cleared her throat to air out the silence clinging in the air, “Well, uh, I’ll leave you two to get to know each other and to figure everything out.” 

You watched as she walked away, hoping she would turn around and free you from this awkward moment. You have been fantasizing about this very moment, finally meeting him, but the version in your head was slowly crumbling to the harsh reality. He was being very short with you and the two of you had just met. You always try to believe in the best of people, but you have been burnt too many times by others. It felt naive to give him the benefit of the doubt and think that he was just frustrated with the situation and not you. 

  “Right, um, if you just want to follow me inside, and we can get everything sorted. I noticed you walking up, is it your leg that's hurt?”

“My ankle, probably just a sprain.” He grumbled.

“What happened?” You asked, hoping that this would open him up to share some small talk. 

He sighed, “listen, if you could just set me up somewhere and give me a task, then I’ll be out of your way till I’m done with this reassignment.” 

“Oh, yeah um, I can do that. I don’t know how much you know about greenhouse work, but I’m sure I can find something that you can do.” 

You looked around to see what projects you were working on in preparation for summer. The easiest thing that you could think of for him was repotting the seedlings you had into bigger pots, they still weren’t ready to be transplanted into the garden. You started to move one of the tables out from the corner when you felt a hand on your wrist. You were shocked at the contact.

“I got it,” he said. He started to pull on the table when you stopped him by pulling on the other end. 

“It’s okay. I can do it, I don’t want you to hurt your leg anymore than it already is.” 

“I’ve said I got it.” He said with a sternness while giving you a nod to move out of the way. 

“Don’t get mad at me when you have to be stuck with me for longer than what you thought.” You crossed your arms and watched as he moved the table around. He looked at you expectantly, waiting for a sign on where you wanted it.  “Over here is fine,” you said, as you pointed out an area for the table to end up at. 

“Let me go grab you a chair. Or do you want to do that yourself, too?” You hadn’t meant to be snarky with your last comment, but he was being frustrating. 

You went to the storage closet in the back to grab the chair and a small soil bag for his ankle and stood in there for a moment trying to collect yourself. You had never had someone get on your nerves as easily as he did. You took one long breath and stepped out. Joel was leaning against the table and looking around the greenhouse when you came back with the supplies. He was surprised with the attentive care and transformation you have brought to the greenhouse. He remembers briefly glancing around when the previous keeper was here, and it looked like the space had never been touched. You had everything  neatly organized, labeled, and growing in vibrant shades of green. He quickly stood up when he noticed you coming back down the aisle toward him. He reached out to help with what you were carrying, but you leaned away from his aid. 

“My plan was to have you working on repotting. I also brought an extra bag of soil over here, so you can rest your ankle on it while you work, if you want. Take a seat, and then I can show you how to repot the seedlings.” You said as you looked him over and offered a small smile. The moment in the supply closest helped a bit, and you were excited to show someone your passion for planting.  

His gaze finished scanning around the greenhouse and landed on you. “Oh, that all won’t be necessary. If it’s just repotting, then I don’t think I need your help.” 

“Are you sure?” You couldn’t believe him right now. He was just going to openly deny your help. “It’s really not a big deal for me to show you the process. I know it seems straightforward, but there are some tricks that I know of to make sure they get the best transfer.” 

“Nope, I think I’m good. Just going to finish out my time here, if you don’t mind.” 

“Fine. I guess I’ll leave you to it.” You turned around to go outside to start watering the plants in the garden. You wanted to scream or throw something. He was acting like a pompous ass. You couldn’t wait for the day to end. 

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x y/n #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

GRAHH I’m OBSESSED with the recent familiar-centric posts, oh my god,,, They’re genuinely such a delight to read, and have been giving me so many drawing & writing ideas—

If I’m allowed to diverge from the usual headcanon-request format & open up a slightly more playful/loose discussion, I was wondering !!What are some of your personal favorite moments with the familiars in the routes/tales? Is there anything you wish we could’ve seen more of with the LI’s familiars?

@lurkingposting oooooohhh good question!! (also, I'm so glad you enjoyed those! it feels a little weird to post something unstructured that nobody asked for, but it's fun!)

I think some of my favorite moments with the familiars were where we get to see them interact with MC without their respective LI present (which happens more in some routes than in others) - especially when they don't have an assigned task to focus on and are instead just being their lovable selves!

I do wish we could have gotten more one-on-one bonding time between MC and the familiars. Partly because you can learn so much about a person from their animal, and partly because all seven of them clearly have distinct personalities and feelings that would be a delight to bond with. I often think one of the reasons Faust is so widely loved is because MC is actually able to speak to her independently, unlike the others (though Pepi does have that ability towards the end of Portia's route). It would have been cool to do that with the others!

#ask arcana brainrot #the arcana #the arcana game #the arcana familiars

[foreverisntenough]

- YOU’RE MINE -

Summary: While you daydreamed about his face an ocean apart, he had no idea what yours was about to do to him. With a twist of fate and the heat of summer, a new relationship would completely ransack his heart - Everyday heavy with the thought of one another, neither of you were going to let the unexpected love of your life go. You were going to be his, you were his, and you were going to stay his.

Warnings: This series will contain fluff, suggestion, smut (unprotected sex,) mentions of pregnancy, love bombing, occasionally sad, kind of angsty, alcohol consumption - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: I hope you like it! There will definitely be more parts (don’t know how many just yet though.)

INDEX

Chapter 27 - ‘You’re Mine’

“You want to come inside with me, baby? Because I’m really thinking you should.” Trent whispered greedily into your ear as your hands worked over his body. At this point you were practically grinding your body on him, his hands were all over you. Your innocent lay at a hang out with your friends in the back garden was starting to heat up. Unbeknownst to you the two girls Marcel had invited had been listening to your whole conversation start to finish, watching the interaction, since you strutted over from the pool to Trent currently kneading your ass with his big hands. The girls were over in an outdoor bar area close by and really there’s no better word to describe what they were doing other than fangirling over the pair of you. Since your ‘expose’ girls alike that followed or knew of Trent seemed to have a small obsession over you. The fact that the girls ended up in your back garden watching you first hand was just surreal to them.

“I’m actually obsessed with them, I’m shook we are here right now…” one girl quietly squealed to the other squeezing her arm trying to be nonchalant. To their benefit, in moments like this, you and Trent were in your own world. You had no concept that anyone else even existed. “He’s so fucking hot, I would do anything for him.” She continued whining and dreaming his hands were on her instead. Marcel had invited the two girls although one he knew better than the other. The lesser known clearly was a little more infatuated with Trent then he’d care for.

“I still can’t decide who I want to be in the relationship, to be fair.” The other confessed giggling as they tried to listen closer to your conversation watching Trent’s hands massage your bikini clad body while you kissed his bare chest. Hearing you talk about your lives had the girls torn between if seeing and listening to you on top of Trent was making them horny or if the whole thing was incredibly sappy and endearing, breaking their hearts wishing they had that type of love. The one Marcel knew better was leaning towards envy. When he eventually walked over to the girls to ask what they were up to they wouldn’t divert their attention away and just yessed his question, he followed their line of sight to see that they were gawking at you. He rolled his eyes unamused but not particularly surprised either. Whenever you and Trent hosted parties or hang outs you always allowed him to invite whoever he wanted, you trusted him and his friends but it wasn’t all that uncommon if he didn’t know them as well for them to be a little more than excited to be at a particular Alexander-Arnold’s home. He disregarded the ogling and wrapped his arms around the two girls before grabbing another drink for the three of them. As time passed you eventually peeled yourself off of Trent with the intention of meeting him back inside per his cheeky request. You scurried over to the bar area where they were first in hope of finding your currently missing phone.

“Marccce! I haven’t seen you all night where have you been?” You cooed, squeezing his shoulder, waking by him, eyes scanning the counters for your phone. You could’ve left it out but lately it started to make you more self conscious about what people could do with it so you began to search before your rendezvous with Trent inside.

“Been busy avoiding you.” He laughed a little, coming to give you a hug from behind while you still sought your phone out. You shook him off feigning annoyance. The two girls watched the interaction with eyes wide deducing the close relationship you two shared.

“Just rude all the time… I hope you’re at least being nicer to your guests.” You laughed back at him taking your first glance at the two younger girls standing beside him. One in a tiny bikini the other in a little cover up. Cute, you thought. “Have you seen my phone?” You asked him sliding your hand along the bar in hopes you’d miraculously graze over it.

“Nah, sorry… but by the way Y/N this is…” Marcel went on to introduce you to the two girls who were there now looking at you as if you were a celebrity. Both their faces nearly dropped, jaws slacked staring at you before their faces turned to show big gleaming smiles.

“I literally follow you on insta I’m so obsessed with you and Trent. You two are literal goals. You're both so hot… it’s insane.” One girl eagerly blurted out. Marcel looked less than impressed but he just ignored her. Your eyes widened as well surprised by the straightforward compliment. You weren’t sure you’d even call it a compliment but nevertheless. It was a little bold but fine, you were flattered. The other girl that stood slightly closer to Marcel spoke a little quieter, thanking you for having her at your home. It was clear fairly quickly that these two girls had very different personalities. One brave and outgoing, the over more timid and sheepish.

“Really… she and, most definitely, Trent are not that great. Don’t be too excited.” Marcel quipped with a laugh wrapping his arm around the more shy girl pulling her closer to him. Internally you furrowed your brow trying to deduce the situation between the three. You tried to recall his comments at dinner but were lacking so you attempted to try and read their body language for clues.

“Oh wow well that’s nice of you… all you.” You winked at Marcel. You were genuinely referring to the one girl's appreciation for your hospitality and sarcastically to Marcel all at the same time. You finally spotted your phone and grabbed it off the counter and squeezed Marcel’s arm glancing at the girls “Nice meeting you both! Hope you have a fun night! If you need anything just ask me! Marce isn’t exactly the most helpful.” You said as your voice tailed off walking away from them. You made your way through your back garden before you spotted George and beelined over to him. He started to shake his head as you came over.

“He’s inside already…” George spoke to you before you even got within arms distance. You gave him a big smile and swirled on your heel to turn around. You skipped towards the house in your little bikini excitedly. You slid open the big glass door and stepped into the warmly lit house. It was relatively quiet inside compared to the blasting music outside. You walked into the kitchen and looked around only for no Trent to be seen.

“T…” you cooed quietly as you skirted down the hallway slow peaking your head into every room. There was no response. You continued down the hall in your search. You peeked into the pantry, you looked into the laundry room, then you started to feel a little discouraged with your luck. That feeling began to disappear quickly though when you opened the door to a study, it was kind of like an office that neither of you really ever used but there leaned back on the desk was a very, very pretty Liverpudlian boy. The two of you definitely were going to put the room to use now.

“Took you long enough.” Trent cooed, coming to stand up straighter taking a step towards you with a big smile.

“Well, why did you have to go so far away!” You giggled stepping into his embrace as he spun you around, his hands dropping around your waist. Your hands coming to wrap around his neck as your nails scratched gently on his skin.

“Because, baby, I want you to be loud for me.” He whispered pulling you into a hot kiss. You felt your body shiver at his words, the warmth of his breath so close to your skin. You moaned as his hands slid down to grip your ass. He slapped it harshly as he slid his tongue in your mouth when you gasped. He picked you up from under your ass and placed you on the desk gently but forcefully. He stood between your legs spreading them apart with his looking down at you. His hands were just everywhere on you in an instant. He teased your nipples through your bikini, then suddenly your top hit the floor, your tits spilling out into the cold air. He was so nimble you couldn’t focus and he just couldn’t get enough of you. “Look so fucking beautiful like this.” He moaned as he rolled your hard nipples between two of his fingers. Swiftly he let go and grabbed your chin with his hand. “Gonna be a good girl f’me?” He cooed with a sinister smile. You just nodded, returning a similar grin. His hand slid down your front into your bikini bottoms.

“I’m so wet already, T…” you whined as you felt his fingers run through your folds. He gathered your slick before he began rubbing soft circles on your clit. Your whole body trembled in shock at how quick and rough he moved. You were desperate for him already.

“You’re horny baby aren’t you?” He asked pulling you a little closer to the edge of the desk towards himself as his fingers worked meticulously. “You’re fucking soaked, hmm? You’re so good f’me aren’t you, baby?” He whispered closer to you as his lips started to kiss on your neck leaving behind bite marks. He groaned when your hand slipped to palm his cock. You both were grinding into each other's hands. You nodded eagerly at him with a pout.

“I need you, T. Please, baby. I want your cock.” You moaned out when his fingers slipped inside you and began to work in and out of you at an inhumane pace.

“Nah, nah, nah baby. I want to hear you, pretty girl. I want to hear you make a mess all over my fingers first.” He cooed as he found a perfect rhythm. It was fast and hard. You were so close to your climax. You clawed at his back needing to feel him as you collapsed your head onto his shoulder, your mouth sucking ferociously on his neck, no doubt leaving behind a trail of evidence from your lips.

"Please let me cum, T, I need to cum" you cried with no shame, you needed to release. You couldn’t handle his teasing. The knot in your stomach was about to snap. You couldn’t maintain any composure if you wanted to.

"Cum all over my fingers" Trent said assertively coming to kiss your mouth as his fingers continued to plunge into your throbbing pussy, his thumb circling your clit. He continued at the fast pace leaving no time for you to tell him your high was about to crash over you. You moaned his name as you came before Trent’s hand slowed pulling out. His drenched hand slid up to push into your mouth. You desperately sucked around his fingers moaning. “Good girl. Tell me you’re a good girl.” He cooed watching you suck and shudder, your chest heaving.

“Fffuck.. fuck, T. Jesus.” You breathed so heavily. “I’m your good girl. I’m yours baby.” You felt hazy as Trent began to pump his cock with his other hand. He was so achingly hard for you. He squeezed his base as he dragged his leaking tip against you.He looked down at you with a devious smile. You nodded enthusiastically, “Please, baby.” You whined, begging. You bucked your hips before Trent grabbed them pulling you into him as he slid his thick cock inside you. You both let out pornographic noises feeling the other. He felt fucking perfect.

“You're so fucking perfect. You take my cock so well, baby.” He murmured as he sucked on your neck. He pulled out slowly before slamming back into you. You purred as he started to fuck into your pussy faster. He brought his hand down to massage your already sensitive clit. “Fuck baby. Needed you all night. Think you needed me to. Listen to how wet you are?” He groaned at the sound of your soaked pussy squelching as he rammed in and out.

“Uh huh, fuck T. You’re so big. Oh my god.” He lifted your leg over his shoulder, hitting a deeper spot that he knew would send you into a frenzy. Your body was jerking into his as he hit that spot over and over and over. You babbled, unable to focus on anything other than how massive he felt at this angle, hell, how massive he felt all the time. “l love you, baby.” You practically started crying as you hooked your arms around his neck.

“Watch, baby.” He pulled his body off yours some. He groaned, looking down at the sight he wanted you to see. “Watch it go in.” The view of his cock perfectly sliding in and out of you covered in slick had you practically orgasm instantaneously. He was obsessed with the way you’d arch your back in pleasure beneath him. His hand sliding around your body to hold the small of your back as he continued to fuck you. You moaned uncontrollably as hips stuttered when you clenched tighter around him. “Fuck, gonna fill you up, baby. You gonna cum for me again, beautiful?” You couldn’t answer the question too lost in the feeling before he let your leg drop, wrapping it around his waist as he laid his heavy weight onto you.

“Tell me you love me, T.” Tears started rolling down your cheeks as his hip movements slowed and a smug grin came over his face. He rocked into you softer before his fingers came and began to rub your clit in tight, fast circles again. He relished in getting you into a state like this,

“I fucking love you Y/N, I fucking love you baby.” He said punctuated by thrusts. Your arms gripped him tighter. “Hold onto me, just like that. Take my cock just like that.” You were dripping down your legs and all over him at this point. And with that realization, just like that, your walls pulsated around him creating an even stickier mess “Cum on my cock, baby. Just let go for me” he whispered almost out of breath as you tried to wrap your legs tighter around him. You nodded as you high crashed over you, fucking you deeper than before. You came and he didn’t let up, your thighs twitching with overstimulation. “Doing so good f’me. Almost there.” He cooed, gripping your waist harshly. His hands were bound to leave bruises, your nails dragged down his back.

“Fuck, fuck!” you moaned, digging your manicured nails into his skin further. “Please, T. Please, fill me up! I need it, I need your cum in me!” You whined when his hand let go of you and move to grab onto some of your hair. He pulled it and you back harshly so he had full access to your bare chest and neck. He dragged his lips from you collar bone up your throat. He pushed into you deeper one last time before painting your insides white. You cried out, letting your head rest against his shoulder as he moaned. Thick, hot ropes of cum spilled into you.

“Jesus, baby… fuck, that was so good. You feel so good.” He fumbled his words as he let out contrived breaths holding you to him. You stayed close to him, your sticky bodies stuck together as you whispered ‘I love yous’ into his ear, your hand lightly raking up his spine after his movements halted. You whimpered as he slowly pulled out. Your legs went limp, falling from his waist. You probably should have gone and showered after that but instead you cleaned yourselves up slowly and returned outside with smug smiling faces. You held his hand walking back out and you gazed up mesmerized by that million-dollar smirk plastered onto his unfairly pretty face. You think you fell in love a little more in that moment as the moon and fairy lights cast over him. He gave you a cheeky wink before diving back into a conversation with friends casually like nothing just happened inside. You could only stand there with a child like grin clung to him, internally still recovering from your earth shattering orgasms.

The night started to fade closer into morning when the last person you didn’t really know all that well finally got an Uber and left so you felt like you could relax. It was a really fun rest of the night but now things had returned to normal. George was slumped on your couch watching TV with Trent and two other boys, where they were meant to be. Tyler being his usual helpful self was with you picking up a few things outside. You made your way back inside and saw your pretty boy still shirtless sitting on the couch. You beamed seeing him look so comfortable and so goddamn handsome. Tyler hopped over the back of the couch to sit near George but you opted to be slightly more graceful and walk around the room to them. You circled the couch and stood in front of Trent blocking his view, still dressed in your tiny bikini and a sly grin. He looked up at you with amusement. He definitely wasn’t complaining about your scantily clad body in the way of whatever was on the tv, he couldn’t even remember what it was once you were there.

“Yes?” He laughed some at you reaching his hand out to try to wrap his hands around your waist. You stepped back sucking your teeth. He looked back a little surprised and a furrowed brow that you weren’t letting him touch you.

“Youuuu are coming with me.” You sang, switching your facial expression to a big grin. You grabbed his hand and pulled him up out of his seat. He stood up and allowed you to drag him across and out of the living room. Everyone else in the room whistled and ‘OOooOoooOo’ teasing and just being the usual and general pain in the asses they were making fun knowing exactly what you wanted Trent upstairs in your bedroom for. Trent shook his head with a smile feigning annoyance at his friends and brother’s razzing him.

“Night lads!” Trent said, waving his hand over his head refusing to turn around to look back at them. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer to him for you to lean your head onto his shoulder.

“Wrap before you tap please!” Tyler yelled jokingly or probably seriously while the rest of the boy’s cacophony of laughter echoed in the big room. Trent leaned over to you to whisper in your ear.

“Nope.” He popped the ‘p’ hushly in your ear. You slapped your hand at his chest lightly and jokingly. “Oh I’m sorry, pretty girl, have you suddenly changed your opinion on creating what’s going to be arguably the most perfect baby ever? Or hmm… I don’t know the past two years of unprotected sex? Which one is it, baby?” He started to giggle, poking fun at you.

“Oh shut up, T!” You squealed, breaking out of his embrace and running up the stairs. You ran into your bedroom and had never gotten ready for sleep faster, makeup off, face washed, teeth brushed, hair care done, and well… you decided it would be best to wear a skimpy black Fleur du Mal lace bodysuit you’d been saving and tuck yourself immediately under the covers. Trent made his way to the bathroom after you and by the time he came out you had changed and tucked into bed to be a little surprise for him to ultimately unwrap. When he walked over to the bed he was a little suspicious seeing how smug your face was laying waiting for him. He peeled back the blankets to get in and his jaw dropped.

“Baby… baby… baby… what am I going to do with a girl like you, honestly. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten into this bed without getting rock hard. What are you doing to me?” He groaned, shaking his head. He ripped the blankets back more to get a full view of you. “Jesus Christ.” He muttered. He climbed over you and hovered before he started kissing every inch of you, every single inch. He kissed over your whole body. Slow, dedicated, but also almost harsh. He left behind little signs of him, shiny spots caused by his warm spit. “You are the most beautiful women in the world, Y/N. I don’t understand how I got so lucky.” You giggled and pulled him up for a big wet messy kiss. He rolled you over on top of him and he wiggled some to sit back against the headboard. You straddled him before he asked you to sit back some. He leaned you back holding onto your waist. “Just let me look at you.” He groaned at the view. You sank down further on him letting him feel your lace covered core over his leg. His hands were all over you, yours all over him. Your lips came crashing together but moved slow and sensually. You nibbled on his plump perfect lips. He moaned into your mouth, while you slipped your tongue in. Heavily breathing in between every kiss. You leaned away for a moment with a big smile. Trent and your eyes still closed, mouths still parted, dying for more, a string of saliva connecting you two but giggles took over you. “Let me keep kissing you, baby.” He begged not wanting to stop.

“I like kissing you, baby but I wanna look at you. Makes me excited seeing you under me.” You giggled in a lighthearted moment giddy and a little buzzed to see his beautiful face beneath you, his perfect lips flushed and swollen. The room had gotten hotter, your core was aching. Your wet pussy was grinding slow on his strong thigh at this point.

“I know, pretty girl and I can feel how excited you are on my leg right now so just let me make you feel good.” He said getting restless as his hand started to slide to reach between your covered folds. You squirmed away a little. Suddenly your body and your mind were not in sync. You wanted to fuck him. There’s no doubt about wanting to fuck him but you were paralyzed for a second feeling self consciousness wash over you about the rise of media attention on you. You shook your head ‘no’ with a guilty but silly grin. He returned a smug smile gesturing to the wet spot of your slick that was now beneath you on him.

“Stop! I can’t help it! Look at you!” You gestured at his body.

“Baby. I fucking think about you, and this…” he then gestured to your body mimicking your movement, “and this pussy probably 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.” He laughed a little.

“T! Hey! That’s mean, I’m cute and funny… and I don’t know have other attributes… other things too...” You actually weren’t offended, you loved to know that he found you that attractive but it was fun to tease.

“Baby, I know. You’re so amazing and so amazing at so many things. You just also happen to be incredibly attractive and very very good in bed so I’m sorry but I’m not not going to think about all of it if I’m the lucky lad that gets to have you in my bed for the rest of my life.” You smiled softly because even though it sounded image based, it really wasn’t. It was really adorable and just made you feel amazing to hear. You felt so special he thought you were beautiful but it plagued you thinking of the headlines that’d been popping up as of late.

“Baby…” you cooed and he hummed eager to have you. “Erm… can I ask you something?” You spoke quietier as Trent’s eyes were glued to your body. “T…” you paused picking his chin up with your hand to look at your face and not your tits. “Do you care what everyone thinks about me?” You sheepishly asked.

“What? What do you mean? I would never care.” He said, his words were fast and rushed. You didn’t feel very good about them. Your idea to be extra sexy tonight had kind of backfired on you. You now felt like nothing like that. You had gotten more self conscious somehow. You sighed and rolled off him.

“Nah, nah, nah, beautiful. Alright, what’s going on here?” I don’t like when you’re upset ever and definitely not if you’re in something like this. Did I do something?” He pulled at the strap of your lingerie with a little pout. Trent hated when your face dropped. When the light and warmth behind your eyes faltered. He preferred to be the one to make everything a little brighter in your life and he was determined to fix it when it faded.

“No, of course not. It’s never you, baby. I just mean…” you sighed. “Just like all the articles about me, my life, my intentions, I don’t know.” You whispered shyly. He pulled you close to his chest. He pressed a kiss to your forehead. He giggled and you weren’t sure why so you pulled away some to look up and see his face. Your eyes fixed on the most gorgeous smile in the world.

“Baby, no. I know you, they don’t. Hmm?” He cooed, coming to press a kiss to your lips now. “I love you. I love you and know you by your words and your actions. I love you not because of what someone types up and what someone typed up would never change that, sweet girl.” He spoke softly and he looked at you with more love than you've ever seen in your life. The ways his eyes filled with warmth had your heart faltering. You weren’t sure you knew what air even was anymore until he breathed life back into you with a kiss. You started to giggle giddy that the man whose arms you were in, whose bed you shared, whose home you had made with, whose life you wanted to spend the rest of yours with, loved you.

“Okay.” You managed to get out through your massive beaming smile. “You can go to sleep now” you continued giggling pulling him into the tightest hug you’d ever given someone. Squishing your cheek against his bare skin. You just about squished that boy to death. He grunted under your grip.

“Thank you for your permission but you’re insane if you think I’m letting you go to sleep next to me in this.” He looked down at your perfectly sat boobs pressed up against him. He pulled you in for a big kiss. A messy makeout ensued. You fell asleep a few rounds and orgasms later on Trent’s chest dreaming that maybe this time or sometime soon it would result in having a baby. Trent watched you as your eyes gently closed, your lips in a perfect pout, the lingerie tossed on the floor. You clung to him safe and happy. He adored you just like this.

You woke up the next morning alone in bed. You pulled Trent’s pillow over to you and pouted like a little kid. His scent made you calm but you missed him. You forget he had told you he was doing an early workout today but even when you did remember you still kept your pout missing and wishing he was cuddled up with you this morning. You got your morning started and headed downstairs in a t-shirt of his. You slowly walked to the kitchen, eyes half closed. You walked past the stairs going to the basement where Trent was in the gym. You could hear the vibrations of the speakers; it made you smile imagining him working out. God, he was hot, just even thinking of him had you almost drooling. The kitchen was scattered with cups which bothered you, you knew the boys who stayed up after you had gone to bed had remade a mess you had already cleaned up last night. Moments like this made you think of university sometimes like just a bunch of friends were living together except the thought burst the feeling of nostalgia when they all left you in a mess like right now. At the end of the day this was your home, not some university apartment. Your home with beautiful furniture and now subsequently ubiquitous icky boys. You loved them but ugh… so you cleaned before you started to make a coffee and preemptively the protein shake Trent would come up and want.

“Erm… hi, I’m sorry.” You heard a meek voice round the corner into the kitchen. You practically jumped it scared you despite her being incredibly soft spoken.

“Oh shit!” You laughed as you pressed your hand over your now very fast beating heart. “Sorry, sorry hi! Morning!” You said with a cheery smile looking at one of the girls Marcel had invited over who seemingly had spent the night.

“I’m so sorry!” The quieter of the two girls giggled too. “I don’t mean to bother you but I’m so hungover do you think I could get a water?” she asked shyly. You handed her a water immediately. She seemed so introverted you almost felt bad asking but you couldn’t not get some information out of her initially with the incentive to tease Marcel.

“It’s Gracie, right?” You looked at her standing awkwardly in a shirt of his. She nodded her head with a timid smile. “Did you have a good night?” She kept her voice low and told you she did but something told you that it maybe wasn’t the whole truth. As you said her name and looked at her standing in your kitchen something pinged in your head. Her name, her face, you started to remember a lunch you had with Marcel one time where you think he had mentioned this girl. You asked if she wanted to sit with you in a little area off the kitchen and she said she would so you started to prod her with questions more intrigued by her and not so much the intent of teasing him anymore.

“So how do you know Marce?” You asked sweetly with a smile. She stirred in her seat taking a sip of water first before a familiar Liverpool accent began to accentuate words.

“I grew up with them.” She giggled. “We all went to school together for a little. We were really close and then I guess… drifted, I don’t know.” She shrugged and looked out the window.

“I get it, I feel it’s just like that when you’re close with boys growing up.” You tried to make her feel better but didn’t really know her situation and it felt like there was more to this story. You were praying it stayed connected to Marcel only and didn’t involve Trent. You didn’t think the current headache you had from last night could handle something like that right now.

“Yeah, well once I got tits things kind of shifted so I’m around a lot more now…” you were relieved when she laughed after making the comment. Marcel was really sweet deep down so you were continuing in prayer hoping he didn’t do anything mean to this girl.

“So you guys…” you paused waiting to let her fill in the blank for you.

“Oh well yeah, I mean we have. We do. I don’t know, we’re close friends but..” The thought of Lauren came ringing in your mind and you felt a little guilty but Gracie assured you her relationship with Marcel was a pretty relaxed one so it subsided. “Anyways I came last night because I wanted to see him but he also invited my friend so I figured whatever” she shrugged again. “I just wanted to be with him and if that meant she’d be in the bed too I guess that’s just how my night was going to go.” She giggled some more. For someone who had such a shy demeanor she clearly was down to mess around and you kind of loved it.

“I get it. I don’t blame you.” You held your hands up in innocence and giggled with her before reaching out to squeeze her arm to reassure her.

“It wasn’t pre planned or anything!” She tried to unnecessarily defend herself for the threesome she was explaining she had last night.

“Do you, Gracie, I’m here for it” you couldn’t not laugh. “If you do like him though you should tell him. You know… maybe so it can just be the two of you next time. He really is sweet, probably go better than you’d think” She gave you an ‘I know’ look and you both giggled before being interrupted by the sound of feet running up a staircase.

Trent came up from the gym. He looked as you would expect, absolutely jaw dropping. The sweat still rolling down his chest and abs. His shorts hung low showing a deep v. You sat facing the back garden when he snuck up behind you. He wrapped his arms around you tight pressing his sweaty body to your currently dry one.

“Ew, T!” You squealed as he pressed a fat wet kiss to your cheek. Gracie sat there and smiled at his sweet affection before you peeled a clingy, perspiring Trent off you.

“You alright?” Trent cooed looking at Gracie. You could tell he recognized her but wasn’t totally sure so he didn’t really say much else. She told him she was all good, nodding. He then leaned his head on your shoulder. “Can I get you some breakfast, pretty girl?” You smiled and shook your head ‘no.’ “Can I get you to come take a shower with me maybe then?” You giggled at his follow up as he squeezed your waist.

“Yes to the shower, no to the breakfast, baby but I did already make yours though.” You looked up at him with doe eyes. He smiled mouthing a thank you and walked to the kitchen to go get the protein shake you had made.

“Is he always like that?” Gracie watched Trent’s muscular back round the corner to go get his breakfast.

“Like what?” You giggled watching the same sight completely enamored with the boy.

“That. The whole making breakfast, offering you to go shower with him, the kisses.” She said, “I don’t know, perfect?” You smiled widely thinking of a few things she was missing from her list of what made him so great but you agreed, he was perfect.

“Yeah, T’s always like that, I guess. He just is…” you paused and smiled and watched him walk back into the room and sit next to you. “He’s just T.” You smiled at him before kissing his cheek. Gracie rolled her lips. She was starting to realize that what she had was not what she was looking for. She wanted someone to be just themselves. A version of themselves that was perfect just for her.

You woke up the next day and you couldn’t not think about Gracie and Marcel. It was playing on your mind on repeat trying to put together all the facts as Trent cuddled closer to you. He snuggled on top of you laying across your stomach. He wrapped his arms around your waist nuzzling his face onto your soft skin. Sadly for you, preseason was fast approaching. It was making you sick… as a matter of fact everything was making you feel sick this second. As Trent muffled ‘I love yous’ into your skin you started to feel queasy.

“T… can you like loosen your grip.” You said with a serious tone. He only squeezed tighter thinking you were kidding. “Trent, serious. I feel really sick.” You peeled his arms off you and sat up against the headboard. He sat up with you and looked at you with furrowed brows concerned.

“Baby…” he cooed quiet. You didn’t respond, dropping your head. He just stared at you trying to analyze what was wrong. You were normally so affectionate even if you were sick. Abruptly you sprung from the bed and ran to the bathroom. “Shit!” He yelped as he followed you hearing your body slap to the cold marble floors before you started to throw up. He came to your side, gathering your hair, holding it back, stroking your back up and down your spine slow. “You’re okay, beautiful. It’s okay, you’re okay.” He hushed you softly. You started balling crying as you sat up wiping your mouth leaning against the wall.

“T…” you whined crying. He tried to ask you what was wrong but the tears just kept falling. You couldn’t get any words out and to be fair you had no idea what was wrong.

“Okay, okay. C’mere. It’s gonna be okay.” He pulled you into him. You collapsed in his arms and his embrace as he stroked your head kissing it softly. “Love you so much, gonna be just fine.” He tried to assure you but something felt incredibly off. You laid around the house the rest of the day doing nothing curled in a ball on the couch. Despite his best efforts, not even Trent’s bribes for food, the dogs, shopping, cuddles would get you to move. When it approached day two of you being immobile he had passed a level of worry he was comfortable with. Trent was always protective of you but this had gone too far. “Sweet girl, I’m calling someone, something is not right.” He whispered, rubbing your arm. You shook your head unhappy with the suggestion.

“No, please baby I’m fine. I’m just…” you couldn’t finish the sentence because in fact you didn’t understand what was happening. It wasn't until a random advert flashed across the tv featuring a pregnant mother. All the color just about drained from your face. Trent watched it empty out of your full cheeks. He furrowed his brow with eyes fixed on you and turned to the tv to see what could’ve caused it but the advert had changed by that point. At that moment you stopped fighting and you let him call a doctor. Later that day a doctor made a house call and sat next to you on the couch. You cuddled into Trent scared of a possibility he was unaware you were even thinking of.

“I have to ask… are you currently using any method of contraception?” The words hit Trent like a freight train. You felt him wince. You started to cry.

“Hey, hey, nah, none of that. Nothing to be upset over.” Trent whispered to you before explaining your situation to the doctor. He brushed his knuckle over your cheek. Suddenly you felt like you were 15 and having sex was somehow wrong or taboo. You discussed at length with the doctor symptoms and possibilities before they asked to do some blood tests. It wasn’t something you wanted to do but you had to. They took the vials and sent them out with a nurse. The turn around would be a few hours and said they would give you a call. Trent walked the doctor out. The front door closed and you started crying all over again. Trent came back with the dogs jumping on top of you. The affection should’ve made you smile but it didn’t. They really tried their hardest to make you feel better but it wasn’t working.

“Baby…” Trent cooed, almost silent. “I thought you wanted this?” He asked you, reflecting on what the doctor had said and the possibility of being pregnant, completely terrified you’d had a change of heart. You just kept crying as you grabbed his waist holding onto him.

“I do, I do.” You sniffled out. “I’m just scared.” You said between tears. He hushed you before finding something on the tv to watch in an attempt to distract you. You nestled under the blankets and he held you tight as you waited.

“Okay, thank you. Yeah, we’ll be in touch if that happens. Thank you again.” You overheard Trent hang up the phone as he paced in the hallway outside your living room. He walked back in and your stomach dropped. He gave you the type of soft smile you knew wasn’t good. You had shut your eyes in pain trying to think of anything else but at the moment you couldn’t possibly think of anything but the baby you knew wasn’t in your stomach.

“They said it was just premenstrual symptoms, an effect you’re having coming off birth control. It’s going to be okay, baby.” His tone just about shattered your heart. You could feel his sadness and disappointment fill the room. You curled further under the blankets and tried to cover your face with them to muffle the gasps. Your eyes started to well. You cried uncontrollably. If you weren’t so lost in your emotions you’d probably have noticed that Trent had looked pretty close to tears but he would’ve never cried in front of you right now, not now, not like this. Trent jogged over to the couch and swiftly grabbed you holding you tight to him. He hushed you trying to wipe your tears at the pace at which they were falling. “I love you. I love you so much, baby. Shhhh. It’s okay. I love you.” He whispered as your body shook. You felt like you couldn’t swallow, like you couldn’t breathe, like you couldn’t still your heart as it thumped against your chest. It felt like the whole room was collapsing and yet he held you so calmly and securely.

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry… I’m sorry.” You quivered out squeezing your eyes tighter. You felt like you disappointed him, like you had somehow messed up. Your whole body felt tired and deadened. You two hadn’t even been actively doing much of anything to have the baby yet but this felt like someone had stabbed you in the heart hearing that you weren’t pregnant. “I don’t know why I got my hopes up.” You whispered into his shirt. You felt the soft cotton of it dampen from your tears. His warm hands rubbing you stung. You couldn’t look at him. You failed him. You thought he’d hate you. It was a sudden yet slow burn that you in fact were not on your way to starting a family. For some reason all you could think of was just how perfect you had described and talked about Trent with Gracie and yet here you were being anything but that to him. He was absolutely everything and you couldn’t do this thing for him.

“We’re gonna be fine, pretty girl.” He gave you the same soft broken smile. It was so different from his normal full, toothy, childish grin it almost made you sick. Days began to blur by and you mostly kept to yourself. You didn’t feel like you could tell anyone; not your mum, Tyler, not Lauren, Marcel, your sister, Dianne. In fact, Dianne had called you a few times but you just let them all run to voicemail. You couldn’t face her. Trent tried to cover for you and said you hadn’t been feeling well but Dianne knew you both better than that. Nothing really had happened but you wanted this baby so bad. The dramatic drop from possible to nothing was so jarring.

“So tomorrow… we go again I guess, yeah?” You spoke softly looking into the mirror putting on a moisturizer watching Trent dry off with a towel.

“Yeah, yeah… we go again. It’ll be good but hard. Will miss you so much sweetheart.” Wrapping the towel around his waist. He cooed walking up behind you, his strong arms came around your frame. He squished your body tightly eliciting a giggle from you but your face fell more into a pout just thinking of him not being around for almost two weeks. “Sure you don’t want to stay with my mum?” He asked with a kiss to your temple.

“No, no, I’ll be fine. Don’t want to put her out like that.” You shyly admitted but really you just didn’t want her to catch you crying over a baby you never had and missing your boyfriend who was only gone for his preseason. Your emotions felt so misaligned and so out of control since the doctor's visit.

“Will go by quick.” He lied and nodded before kissing you again. “Got you a little something you know?” He started talking walking out of the ensuite so you followed him back into the room and then into your wardrobe. “Stay there!” His laugh echoed in the room as he gestured for you not to come any closer to him as he rustled around looking for something. “Close your eyes, baby.”

“T…” you whined not particularly in the mood to play any games.

“C’mon. For me please. Close them.” And so you did. You heard him come walk back over to you. “Gimme your hand.” And so you did then feeling his bigger soft hand hold yours and a cold metal drape over your wrist. You squinted your eyes open some. “No peeking! You little cheat.” You smiled with a pout opening your eyes fully now. You looked down and Trent was clasping a dainty diamond gold tennis bracelet onto your wrist. You mouthed a thank you before he pulled you into a tight hug. “So you don’t forget me while I’m gone.” He giggled.

“You’re dumb…” you giggled “not in a million years.” Leaning up to kiss his lips.

You laid in bed that night unable to go to sleep feeling his chest rise and fall under your cheek. You watched the light from outside dance and reflect off your new bracelet that rested over him in silence as your mind raced.

“I got you, baby.” Trent whispered into your hair.

“You’re awake?” You whispered back into the quiet room before placing light kisses all over his bare skin. He hummed in assurance. He rubbed his hands over you and you purred back. Even though you were dreading his departure tomorrow, right now you felt more comfortable than you had in days. His hands slowly ran down your back and cupped your ass.

“It’ll happen.” He muttered in a low voice. You nodded and picked your head up resting your chin on him, your hand stretched out to play with his perfectly plump lips. You pulled at his bottom one before swiping your thumb over it.

“You’re so gorgeous, pretty boy.” You cooed back with a soft smile trying to change the subject, “These are absolutely heavenly.” You said pulling once more on his lip.

“Oh yeah? Good use too.” He cheekily said before he flipped you over and was on top of you. You gasped as he disappeared beneath the covers to in fact put his perfect pout to very good use. It wouldn’t result in a baby by any means but it sure as hell would feel good. An hour and a few orgasms later you were laying back on top of him dragging your foot slowly up his toned leg. The feeling of his soft skin under you was sublime. The sound of his quiet breathes synced with yours as he started to doze off. His smell comforting you into a sleepy haze. And when your eyes fluttered open the next morning suddenly the bed was empty and he was gone leaving you with a new braclet and no baby.

•

Thank you for continuing reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter / series … 🤍

Next part - Chapter 28 xx

[bigtittiecomitte]

“Envy and Thuzi was supposed to be endgame but they changed their mind for Nuzi”

Oh boy. I hate this phrase and I dislike anyone that says this phrase and BELIEVE that Envy and Thuzi were supposed to be the canon ships. I keep seeing this phrase from toxic shippers that just can’t accept that there were no signs of those two ships of even happening and I really want to talk about the stupid misinformation of it because if there’s a thing that toxic shippers love doing the most….it’s spread misinformation.

‼️This is not a hate post about ships, I just want to talk abt how silly it is‼️

Let’s start off with an actual fact about the show! Liam wrote the scripts for each episode before episode 2, everything was planned for a reason it did not just happen out of the blue, you can tell by specific posts that Glitch made in (Glitch posting abt Beau a year ago) and some Reddit posts of the Liam qna has a lot of interesting things so I definitely recommend checking that out. So no, Nuzi can’t be fanservice if it was planned before the ship became a popular thing, people just say it’s fanservice bc they hate seeing a crowd of people happy even though they’d be just like Nuzi shippers if N and V held hands instead

I kinda have a lot to say abt Envy so I’ll just talk about Thuzi first. Thuzi (the ship between Thad and Uzi) wouldn’t have happened in canon and it’s very simple to see why it wouldn’t work out, first of all Thad hasn’t been shown ANYWHERE ever since episode 4 and I don’t think he’ll ever been seen again unless they go inside the bunker and although people say that Thad is gone bc of his voice actor being problematic I think he was always supposed to be written out (reminder that the show was written before all of that va drama). Thad didn’t really have a role to be honest he was just kinda there lol which is what wouldn’t work out between him and Uzi since they haven’t talked since episode 2, if Liam wanted Thuzi to be endgame then he would’ve made them interact more, get people invested into the ship before it would become canon but the pilot is the only episode where Thad and Uzi properly interact (I would count episode 2 but there really weren’t any shipping moments between the two unless it’s that scene where Thad pops in but that was just Uzi being all awkward lol). I’d like to add that we have no idea how Thad feels about Uzi, he’s just friendly with everyone so it’s tough to know if Thad even likes Uzi because he hasn’t shown any sign that he has, anyways that’s just my view on Thuzi lol

Envy is a ship filled with miscommunication and I’m not going to deny that. Envy (ship between N and V) is the rival ship of N and Uzi and is the 2nd most popular ship, in my opinion, it’s not a good one at all and this isn’t because I’m a Nuzi shipper, it’s because of the toxicity of it, N and V in their DD forms is very toxic and dysfunctional, V is an okay character but people should acknowledge that V was incredibly mean to N (Ignoring him, physically assaulting him, etc) obviously it’s because of everything that happened in the mansion but that doesn’t justify her actions, N is also pretty mean to V too (insulting her, physically assaulting her, etc) I don’t blame him but it still shouldn’t be justified, couples shouldn’t be mean and hurt each other which is where the miscommunication comes into place. N and V don’t talk about their feelings, they don’t talk about why they’re the way that they are with each other, they just don’t communicate, the only positive interaction I’ve seen them have is only when they are Worker Drones but that’s it, as I said in that reblog of people blaming Uzi and wishing harm on her (btw go check that post out they describe everything SO well!) we don’t know what N and V’s relationship was before they became DD’s, they could’ve been dating, they could’ve just been friends, we have no idea how long they’ve known each other for, all we know is that they were much more nicer to each other than what we see in the entire show. Maybe if they just talked and explained their feelings to each other and why V was ignoring N for who knows how long then maybe they could’ve had a chance of being endgame but that hasn’t happened and might never will if V is dead for good, they still have a chance of talking to each other but it’s too late for them to love each other, N clearly has moved on from his crush on V (it’s been noticeable since episode 3) and has taken interest in Uzi which is the only relationship he has had with anyone that is healthier so it’s no surprise if N and Uzi start dating. People need to realise that V needs to sort herself out without N, she doesn’t need a man to suddenly make her better, she needs to do that on her own terms before talking to N and starting a friendship with him

So now that’s out the way…misinformation! If Toxic shippers had a dollar for every time they spread misinformation around they’d be a billionaire because holy hell do they love spreading false information, I’ve seen so much new fans comment underneath a Nuzi post “oh but I thought they were ____” which is really damn sad. No guys Glitch and Liam never stated which ship was going to be canon they wouldn’t just spoil it and no Nuzi didn’t just come out of nowhere, if you look just close enough, they’ve been hinted at a million times

Thanks for reading this silly thing I made at 3am, I hope it does make sense bc I might just cry if I was explaining gibberish to everyone

#murder drones #nuzi #n x uzi #raaaaaaaaaaa

[szagaloree]

His wife…

Chapter 6

Contains: cuteness and fluff

In the morning spider was looking around, he walks into his aunties quarters “hey have y’all seen mom?” He asks “naw kid, she didn’t come in the room at all last night,” Raven answered putting her gun her hoister, he leaves looking for her. Searching through the lab she was now where to be found neither Quaritch, so he walks over to his room, he quietly opens the door and walks in, once he peeled behind the wall he sees his mother and father both in the bed asleep, he started to smile a little. Quaritch begins to wake up and his eyes were upon me till he glances up he thought his eyes were playing tricks on him but once he looks back again he flinches from seeing spider standing by the wall, “how long have you been standing there?” He asks, “I just came in, I was looking for mom but I guess found her,” spider smirks.

He huffs shaking his head “learn how to knock,” he said, he leans up before slapping my hip “alright wake up,” he said tiredly “shut up” she mumbles shifting in her sleep “don’t tell me to shut up woman get up,” he shakes her head she opens her eyes groaning before pausing “spider-what the hell are you doing?” She asks “nothing I was looking for you,” he smirks as he leaves, I huff then glance at quaritch who chuckled “what’s funny?” I question as I get up, “I wasn’t laughin,” he said, I got dressed but Quaritch pulls me back by my tail making my eyes go wide “get back here you little kitty cat,” he says, “ughh don’t call me that it’s so cringey,” I scoff, I walk away “oh you’ll like it,” he smirked, I leave out heading to the lab, “gwen, been looking for you, we got some intel on sully,” Raven said “what?” What’s going on?” I ask she grabs my wrist taking me to the corner “they’ve relocated far from the forest,” she informs, “good, they it’s best for them,” I sighed, “how are we gonna deal with the rda? The more we rebel the more suspicious they get and they can put us down?” She asks worriedly “I don’t know but.. I gotta get spider out of this,” I huff “gotta figure something out sooner or later,” I shake my head looking down.

I walked outside to see Quaritch teaching spider how to play basketball, “so.. you didn’t come back in the quarters last night, you and Quaritch had some fun?” Allen asks i chocked on my water “hell no! What the fuck Allen,” the girls snickered, I roll my eyes “we didn’t do shit, so y’all can stop the you’re little foolery,” I said, I sat down and laid my head on raven’s lap, “make sure to beat that asshole’s ass spider!” Ellice shouts I smirk with a snicker “ why don’t you get you’re ass up and play since you’re all talk,” he said, “ohhh I don’t wanna do ya old man,” we laughed.

As they play I just sat and watch spider and quaritch interact with each other, this is one of the first times I’ve seen Quaritch act like a person and not a puppet. He was being him, smiling and everything, i would wish this for him then anything else but I can only convince him for so long till it’s his finals decision on what he wants, me and the girls jumped when the boys sprayed water on us “you fucking asshole!” I scoff, they laughed, later on groan wincing in pain that was in my chest, I could hardly breath, “you alright?” Allen asks “yea god this chest pain is killing me,” I huff, “probably needs some meds,” she said, I walk to the lab wincing, “what’s wrong?” Spider asks “nothing just having chest pain randomly,” I answered.

I huff taking some pills before sitting down at the table by spider “so how you feelin?” I ask, “fine, dad taught me how to make a 3 pointer,” he smiled “nice, how do you feel, about your dad?” I ask nervously, “he’s… good, I mean I wouldn’t think he would, accept me he would disown me… after being kinda alone i just wished you both were here,” he says “I know, you’re dad could’ve been here longer then me if he wasn’t a hard ass, I don’t know how to get through his big head,” I said “do you ever think if you and dad could get.. back. Together?” He asks hesitant of the answer because he knows how much I was very overprotective of him against his dad, I didn’t want him to be just like him nor end up the rda’s puppet, but them getting together again, that was our of the question…. Is It? I only dreamed of us being together, being happy and living a free life on Pandora away from the rda and their bullshit, but that’s only a dream to be honest.

“I don’t know, don’t think so, the way he is, it’s..mm” I bit my lip, it’s hard to talk about it even more. He looks down saddened “but I wouldn’t mind being friends with him I just can’t be with him,” I said, he nodded. After dinner I stood in a certain room to look at my old logs, it hurts to see how I was when I first got there but I love for when I changed, it was a lot better. “Reminiscing on the past?” Quaritch comes in “spider’s asleep?” I ask he nods “yea knocked out figured playing basketball wore him out,” he said, “surprised you ain’t knocked out old man,” I said “yea whatever i ain’t old,” he sat down, “you really never gave up that hairstyle,” he says, “what about it? That’s my go too,” I said, he grins “mhm, I be telling everytime to just let your damn hair down for once,” he said “and I did once,” he chuckles.

“You want to go fly around for a little?” He asks.

“Why?” I ask “what just to have some fun,” he smirks getting up, is Jake my head silently laughing as I get up. Flying through the sky it feels so beautiful and refreshing to see the forest at night and how it glows, earth was never like that even before it was destroyed by buildings and wars and pollution.

🎶“I could lie-could lie-could lie… everything that kills meee… makes me feel alive”🎶

I giggle watching Quaritch chase after me “imma get you somehow,” he smirks “I’ll like to see you try,” I chuckle.

🎶“lately I’ve been-I’ve been loosing sleep… dreaming about the things that we could be… but baby I’ve been-I’ve been prayin hard.. said no more counting dollars.. we’ll be counting stars…”🎶

I fly down laughing he lifts me up making me squeal with laughter, “stawwp” I giggle he smiled carrying me inside over his shoulder, “miles put me down right now,” I said, “nope” he smirks, we ended up in his room apparently and now he puts me down I run to leave but he grabs my tail “aye let my tail go,” I jumped he pulls me back “get back here you little rascal,” he said, I scoff he wraps his arms around my waist sighing in content. “Why am I in your room?” I ask cocking a brow, “what scared Ian gone bite ya,” he smirked I shake my head at his foolishness. “Even an avatar you are still sooo fine,” I chuckle “don’t think this is a way for you to get your way with me Quaritch,” I said “back to Quaritch? Whaaat nooo,” he fake pouts, I roll my eyes “I’m serious, you look just like you, that’s sexy bomb ass women I married,” he said pecking my lips teasingly, I stared at him not sure if I should take the bait, but you only live twice? I guess, I kiss back leaving him shocked, his grip tightened pulling me closer to his chest.

#Spotify #quaritch x oc #quaritchhiswifeoc #spider quaritch #quaritch smut #colonel quaritch #avatar quaritch #na'vi quaritch #miles quaritch #jake sully #neytiri #neteyam #lo’ak sully #avatar the way of water

[bunniesnuggie]

~ Uncle Steeb ~

cg!Eddie Munson x little!reader, past cg!Steve Harrington x little!reader (platonic)

summary: you and your friends go to the carnival, where Steve wins you a stuffed animal. Which makes Eddie feel left out :(

how he felt when you name the dragon^

Before you met Eddie, the only person to know about your regression was Robin. She’d never gotten the chance to care for you while you were regressed, but she knew about it and fully supported you. The both of you became best friends in school and eventually worked together, and that’s where you met Steve. Very reluctantly, might I add, not that you didn’t like him, you were just shy. But Steve absolutely adored you, he thought you were just the cutest, little thing. Steve found out about your regressing, during a shift you two had together. It was an accidental slip after a customer wasn’t being very nice, and it was the first time anyone had seen you slip. He didn’t make it a big deal, but he was confused. After you and Robin explained and she threatened to harm him if he were mean to you he completely understood and respected you. From then on he’d make sure you were never overwhelmed at work or harassed by the kids when they came in. He felt a desire to care for you, even though you were merely friends, he made it his job to look out for you in a sorta caregiver way.

Once you started dating (well even just being friends with) Eddie, that all changed. Now it was him who was taking care of you, Steve didn’t mind. He wasn’t in love with you, he was happy you found a boyfriend so caring. But he did miss taking care of you. I mean, he was your babysitter too. Eddie knew that Steve was your first “caregiver” and that it was completely platonic. He wasn’t jealous per say, he just wished he could’ve been the first. But he was more than happy to take over. By that point, your whole friend group knew about and supported your age regression.

They would make sure that once a month they did something child friendly altogether because they all loved to hang out with you when you were in little space. It took awhile for Eddie to be OK with letting that many people see and interact with you while regressed, especially in public. But he trusts them, as do you.

This month you were going to the local carnival that happend to be in Hawkins for the week. You guys rode the ferris wheel, got cotton candy, funnel cakes, soda, juice -just lots of sugar - and you even convinced your daddy to get his face painted with you. After walking around awhile he was spotted. The most fluffy, most sparkly stuffed dragon you have ever seen in your life! You tugged on your daddy’s arm,

“Dada look!! Look! Is a draga!!”

He smiled at the way your pronunciation changes in littlespace. Though it dropped when he saw what you had to do to win said “draga”. Basketball. Not just the kind where you stand behind the wall and throw it into a small laundry basket hoop only a foot away. No of course not, it’s the actual game, where you have you go up to a real hoop, on a half court.

“Yeah I see it, angel! Let’s see if we can find something like that at the gift shop, hmm?”

He tried, he really did. But when you looked at him, with your wobbly lip and big eyes and uttered the words,

“Oh, otay daddy,”

In the saddest, smallest voice ever and wrapped your small fingers around his index. He knew he was screwed, with a silent sigh (not directed towards you, never directed towards you) he crouched down so you could jump onto his back. “Alright my little spider monkey twilight anyone let’s go win you a sparkly dragon!” he yelled with a bounce, “we’re gonna go make these carnies beg for their mommies, you losers coming too?” it always made you giggle how your daddy spoke with other people compared to you. Robin came over and poked your side, “of course I wanna see this cutie win a stuffie,” she looked at Eddie and continued, “I also wanna see you throw balls into - what do you call them? ’laundry baskets’ ” she said with an evil grin. That made Steve laugh, “this is gonna be good”.

10 minutes and $25 later, he’s still trying to make one basket, the kid running the booth felt bad he spent so much and said he could have it, for just one shot. You are getting your dragon. Robin is sitting with you, laughing watching. While you are cheering on your daddy. Steve’s honestly flabbergasted, I mean surely he’ll get it once. *swoosh* nope, ok.

“Hey - man, you’ve spent almost enough to buy the dang thing. Let me try”

Steve attempted, but Eddie was persistent.

“I got it man!”

*miss* Eddie would’ve given up after the first time, but it’s for you. He looks over and sees you bouncing and clapping for him, then looks to the stuffie, then to Steve, then the ball. He groans,

“Harrington! Get your ass over here, I don't see how you're gonna win a rigged! game”

He glared at the thief kid running the booth when saying that and threw the ball to Steve. Who said nothing but smirked. He got in position in front the hoop and shot *woosh* straight in. There was a - different - reaction for everyone there. You jumping with joy, Robin laughing her butt off, Steve and the worker were just relieved it was over and Eddie, well Eddie was pouting like you on the rare occasion he tells you no. The worker handed Steve the long awaited dragon and gave him a pitiful smile. Steve handed him off you,

“Tank you Uncle Steeb!”

You pulled the stuffie from him and jumped in his arms, he set you down with a kiss to the top of your head.

“Your welcome Munch,”

He smiled at you and looked up to Eddie. If looks could kill… Steve awkwardly laughed and patted you on the back as you rambled about the personality of your new friend. When you approached your daddy he tried to smile at as you squealed and shoved the dragon towards him, repeating everything you just told steve,

“Isn’t Uncle Steeb da best!”

Ok that one hurt. Alot. The others seemed to notice too.

“Hey, I’m not that cool, but your daddy - he’s the coolest and look how long he played for! He hates basketball!”

Steve tried to ease the tension, and you just looked at him like he said the sky is green. You looked up at your daddy and jumped into his arms, wrapping your arms and legs around him. Squishing his cheek to yours as you stated with the utmost confidence,

“Uhm - well ya he my dada? He’s the bestest ever! He pays wif me an luh me an he give me cuddles, oooo an his stories are my faborite!!! An he da one who pay for Kas soooo..”

You trailed off fiddling with the dragon's wings. Now Eddie was smiling ear-to-ear, his dimples showing and his brown eyes shining. The other two laughing and his sudden change in demeanor, and how not only minutes ago he looked like you had dumped him. Steve furrowed his brows then asked you,

“Wait- Munch, who’s Kas?”

You and eddie looked at each other and smiled,

“Das my daddy’s DnD guy! He has dragas too!!”

You giggled out. Your daddy set you down and took your hand not holding the stuffed dragon. On the way out, you started listing off all the similarities and differences between draga Kas and your dadas Kas. You cut yourself off with a yawn, happy to be heading home. You gave Steve and Robin sleepy hugs and said goodbye. Your daddy picked you up and buckled you into your “car seat” he made for you and held up your dragon,

“Thank you for saving me young dragon master, you will make a wise trainer! Though you are quite small, ah! You must be a hobbit!”

He said in a deep, gravelly voice moving the dragons head as though he’s speaking, you giggled at his silliness

“May I sit with you on the journey home little hobbit?”

“Ya! You tan sit here, dada can you buckle him in pease?”

Of course he did just that, setting him down in the seat next to and snapping the belt in place. “Alright little one, give me one second to say bye bye and we’ll go ok”

He smiled at you and waited for you to nod, then gave you kiss on your forehead. He turned the car on, putting on the heat and radio on low. He glanced at you one more time before turning on his heels and facing his friends,

“Well - that was fun, thank you guys for being so nice to them. And doing things like this,” he said sincerely, pointing to you then the fair “and Harrington,”

Steve hummed at him, “head kisses only ok? I see your lips touch skin and I will remove them. Ok?” He smiled at Steve but he knew Eddie was serious. As much as Eddie has grown to trust them with you, you're still his baby. Steve lifted his hand in mock defense,

“Don’t worry man, she’s like my baby sister. I won’t try to steal her from you, she loves you too much anyway”

He laughed out, besides he’s still in love with nancy oh did I say that? oops

Eddie just playfully glared and Robin decided to speak up,

“Ok ok! Stop swinging it around and go bring your little one home, they’re drooling on the window”

She chuckled. Sure enough, your little face was pressed against the glass, your breath fogging it up ever so slightly. Eddie laughs at the sight and pulls out his phone to snap a pic that’s right modern au. He waves bye as he hops in the driver seat and buckles up. He looks at you in the rearview mirror and smiles to himself,

“I love you so much you little butt head”

He mumbles before starting the careful drive home.

A/N: this was inspired by a headcanon from the lovely @bootlegmothman420 so go look at its page and follow!! I love jealous and protective Eddie so hyper fixated on this until it was done :D

//tag list//

@bootlegmothman420 @angelbaby-fics

#cg!eddie #uncle steve #cg!eddie munson x little!reader #age regression #little space #sfw agere #sfw littlespace #sfw smolspace #sfw little post #sfw age dreamer #caregiver x little! reader #x little!reader #sfw agere fanfic

[class1akids]

I wish ochako interacted more with bakugo, iida, jirou, momo, kirishima, etc. I wonder why Hori never fleshed out uraraka’s friendships outside of deku. Especially in act 1&2 , where she was more silly and fun.

Maybe there could’ve been a scene where ochako comforts shoto, and the others after plw (bc she’s a sweet girl, who wants to save heros that are hurting) Oh well that would’ve been nice to see the class 1A kiddos comforting and reassuring each other. Also shoto deserved hugs and comfort from his friends. Sorry for the long ask.

Once friendships are established, Hori tends to not put any more effort developing them with a few exceptions. He's mostly focusing on the relationships that are changing (like BKDK in act 2 and 3), leaving it to the spin-off materials to provide fluff content to the already existing friendships (this is how Bakugou and Kirishima end up barely interacting in Act 3).

I think in the end, Hori focuses foremost to Deku's relationships, which is why we end up with weird situations like post-Dabi reveal where neither Iida, nor Ochako seem to even acknowledge that Shouto's going through it...

Ochako and Shouto never had a spoken dialogue in the manga, which is also really bizarre considering they are supposed to be in the same friend group.

When it comes to Ochako, I feel like once she's been marked as "MC love interest", she has mostly stopped interactions with all the male characters, to be only ever seen hanging out with the girls, and a lot of the scenes dedicated to her crush on Deku. So even her friendships with girls are mostly not passing the Bechdel test.

#c1a asks #uraraka ochako

[real-total-drama-takes]

A dynamic i wished we could’ve seen (and they are my favorite characters): DJ and Noah!

Hear me out—since Noah is a stereotypical “nerd” and DJ looks like a stereotypical “jock” I think itd be an interesting friendship! Like Noah’s smart, but he’s also snarky and just jabs at people and possible would get beheaded lmao. And DJ’s strong, BUT HES SO SO SWEET AND ADORABLEEEE AND KINDDD!!! Since they kinda “break” those stereotypes in a way I guess, it be cool to see them interact.

Like Noah and DJ are still on opposite teams but they still manage to interact with each other (talking about season 1 btw). Like at first Noah thinks DJ is a mean jock when he saw him but sees him being kind baffles him a bit. And whenever Noah doesn’t want to talk to his teammates he’d go to the woods and read a book and sees DJ with the little critters. And they just have small talk. And learn more of each other slowly.

Im delusional, I know, but like, can you see the vision? (Dont kill me but I ship them [platonically and romantically]. DJ X Noah woohoo! A rarepair! Please dont attack me—)

.

#td dj #td noah #total drama