#I work hard and I know I can do this

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !! #& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

[comradekatara]

it's national draw your sibling day

#id in alt text #avatar the last airbender #atla #katara #sokka #katara&sokka #art #mart #oldergaang #i like to think they get less antagonistic once theyre in their twenties #i also firmly believe w every fibre of my soul that sokka improves his art #(and im coming for anyone who says otherwise in the comments of this post with hammers. jsyk) #also drawing w charcoal is way easier than ink painting. so maybe he realizes that too #also apologies if i butchered the spelling of katara's name i was just working w the wiki but . if its bad u can say its intentional #bc sokka is stupid or whatever idk 😭 #anyway. this ACTUALLY started bc i was thinking about how we never actually see katara draw #but i just KNOW that she would have the most anime art style #dont ask me how i know these things ok i just do #so this whole thing was just an excuse to showcase that . lmao #i worked so hard on this tho. pls clap

[obsob]

the accolade ( the...the cat-olade...)

#mine #original #i cannot even begin to explain the anguish. the torment. this drawing has brought me #and i STILL dont like it. i simply cant work on it any longer i cant i cant. i must be rid of it #eating drywall as we speak #you want to know how many weeks ive worked on this. THREE. ALMOST. #you want to know how long my other cat drawings take me ?? 3 days absolute MAX #anyway. begon foul creature etc #i havent left extremely long tags for a long while hello everyone good lord there are many of you #we are going stratford this weekend very exciting #its going to be a little chilly and i want to take my new coat with me but issue its not chilly right now so i cant wear it onto the train #i do not think. i can. stuff it into my suitcase i dont think that will happen #i am sure i will figure it out #also. no longer vegan . eggs have won me over. egg egg egg. #im having to restrain myself SO hard from buying more wool i want a shawl i want a shawl #i want more cute DRESSES why are nice comfy dresses 10000£ #i look on vinted and its like dresses for popping your pussy in like not. the vibe im going for thank u #anyway. im going to eat crackers now

[electrozeistyking]

"She's Gone"

This bad boy was started on the third of November, and finished on the seventh. In total, there are thirty panels (all of which were drawn separately).

A good chunk of N's dialogue near the end came to me after I did some improv to figure out what he should say. I have since dubbed it "N's Failure Monologue."

#murder drones #murder drones n #murder drones tessa #murder drones uzi #tessa james elliott #serial designation n #uzi doorman #the absolutesolver #BOY let me tell ya there was some movie magic pulled in areas #even though i told myself to keep it simple... despite knowing how well that worked when i made crash test #ah well. i go overboard so you guys can enjoy the end result #and hopefully not dock off points for my inability to draw characters holding swords. i tried SO HARD #ALSO JUST SAW THE BEGINNING OF THE END TEASER THING BEFORE POSTING THIS #OH MY GOD MY HEART IS DOING THINGS TO ME AND I'M NOT SURE THIS IS HELPING #YES THAT IS THE ONLY TEASER I WILL EVER WATCH BECAUSE IT WAS UNAVOIDABLE ANYWAY (it’s in glitchx 2023) #solveruzi au #zeisty’s heavy hitters #zeisty’s comic stuff

[wasabi-gumdrop]

Kabru has a secret admirer in the castle!

#running from my responsibilities (drawing armour) by imagining post canon Kabru fashion #minor spoilers in the tags! #royal advisor Kabru’s office is probably overflowing with gifts from foreign dignitaries eyeing him up for marriage #and sacks of perfumed letters from Melini citizens #Marcille would be so sick of it #Laios also has his fair share of proposals #Yaad is like … boys spare us all and pick a suitable candidate already #well Yaad there’s a saying that goes two birds one stone #anyway lol #someone might have suggested to Laios ‘hey Kabru works so hard. you should show your appreciation.’ #Laios (blushing sweating): uuuh how do i do that #Marcille probably: i hear it’s customary to give your royal advisor flowers the same colour as their beautiful blue eyes #Laios: well if you say so #but he starts having second thoughts bcs what if the gift is too romantic #so then Laios is like oh i know i just won’t sign it (: #fool proof plan Laios good job #totally not taking into account that Kabru can recognize his penmanship at a first glance #so at their next meeting Kabru is like ‘i wonder who my secret admirer in the castle is 😉’ #and Laios sweats so hard he falls out of his throne #doesn’t Kabru of Melini have a nice ring to it #better yet …. Kabru Touden #much to consider #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #kabru #kabru of utaya #labru #if you squint #wasabi doodles

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Get Their Ass.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jin ling #jin chan #Yeah that's right. This guy is a named character. All those nameless disciples in the yi city arc and *this* guy gets a name. #Jin ling finally gets his much needed outfit upgrade! Rest in peace double straps. #I adore how we get to keep learning about Jin Ling and peeling back the layers on him...It's also so sad to see him so alone and friendless #especially knowing he really was starting to build peer friendships in the yi city arc... #Jin ling really is one of my top 5 characters in MDZS and its absolutely in part because of how you can *see* how he ended up this way #and we watch him learn and grow! He's doing what most adults refuse to do: Consider that his opinions are skewed and need to change. #You are NOT immune to propaganda and I adore characters who reflect and struggle with that! #Just because someone with assumed authority says something that fits into what you want to be true does not make it true B*/ #In this series about rumours and warped perspectives - Jin Ling is a great example of how hard you have to work for the truth #+1 points of friendship with jin ling: He will self correct himself if he says a slur now

[lyralit]

reminder:

you're allowed to be proud of your accomplishments.

you're allowed to think you're pretty, or smart, or funny.

you're allowed to be good at things.

you're allowed to voice your opinion.

you're allowed to do whatever makes you feel comfortable.

you're allowed to not know what you want to do.

you're allowed to change your mind.

you're allowed to want things.

you're allowed to cry and break down.

you're allowed to be disappointed when things don't go your way.

you're allowed to love the way you love.

you're allowed to dream.

#story time #I worked all year last year to get the top honours group prize at for my year #and I got it! #and the rush of relief / satisfaction #from knowing I worked hard from it #was just as strong as feeling it was a mistake #remind yourselves it's not a mistake #you can work hard #and you can do well #and sometimes it doesn't work out #but celebrate when it does #<3 #lovely people <3

[lotus-pear]

got like five asks requesting aku or chuuya so i just drew them together🗿

#i don't ship them btw lol i hc them as mentor/student but you guys can do whatever ig #idk how to draw aku im so sry his hair is so hard for me fsr💀💀 #since bones or asigiri didnt give them interactions i had to do it all by myself :( #its hard knowing your two favs will never get screentime together even tho they probably see each other everyday at work #also they are so father son coded after dazai left i'd like to think chuuya took responsibility for aku #since aku was the result of his partner's failed apprenticeship so chuuya felt an obligation to pick up where dazai left off #anyway they’re besties but i can’t prove it #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #ryuunosuke akutagawa #akutagawa ryuunosuke #chuuya nakahara #nakahara chuuya #bsd #lotus draws

[ohno-the-sun]

Sol

#I’m just gonna put these here so I can rant about all the issues I see in the #so like I as an idiot was like let’s see if I can do a style study on qwille using my favorite boy right #but qwille a brain works in mysterious ways cause like I’m trying to hard to firgure out how they know where to put stuff #and of course the rendering is like that in between fully rendered and that more soft vague #which is gorge #but my brain when I do it is like you need to fix you need to fix this looks bad you suck blahblah #not to even mention the anatomy #which is completely fucked here #I can’t do shoulders to save my life #and he looks so dumb sitting on that box #like what’s wrong with his shoe #I know something’s wrong #I think I need to take a moment #I’m caught in one of those logic loops rn #blahhhhhh

[crescentfool]

orpheus and thanatos 💚

#persona 3 #ryomina #ryoji mochizuki #minato arisato #makoto yuki #lizzy does art #HIII EVERYONE :3 happy halloween.... (has been working on this for four weeks off and on) #i've always yearned to see art of ryoji and minato based on thanatos and orpheus!!! #i know that ryoji can be likened to being the eurydice figure which i agree with but I HAVE BEEN THINKING SO HARD ABT THEM LIKE THIS OK. #it was nice to give drawing something more ambitious (for my standards) an earnest try again! i love working with lineless and lighting #and working on this has inspired me to HOPEFULLY start doing some studies of sorts! i want to learn so many things... #all so that i can make ryomina as epic as possible... #also LET ME TELL YOU that thanatos coffins are making me realize i seriously need to do drawabox or something. #trying to put them in perspective is hard... but im pretty happy with what i made!!! #also can i just say i love how shapely orpheus is?? i love orpheus joints etc etc its so nice. very fresh #sighs longingly. i love them very much they make me want to do better at things. i hope everyone has a wonderful week ahead! 💙 #very excited to see what people do for ryomina week (<- they haven't made anything 4 it yet bc Busy... but i'll submit smthn late maybe)

[puppyeared]

doodles of my fav sillies

anton belongs to @poicyss

#my brain is a barbie dreamhouse and theyre all just living in it #im especially fond of the second one because my mom used to hold me like that all the time <3 #im drawing them a lot lately because im being crushed by the horrors and have to compensate for it somehow #homemade comfort blorbos...... #watch me draw anton inconsistently bc i can never decide if i wanna draw him close to how he actually looks #or yassify him and give him soft fluffy hair and kind eyes and defined features. head in my hands #i dont really have a lot of drawing ideas for them bc they dont have like. a canon storyline or anything methinks #its just stuff me and bow toss around and giggle abt thru messages lol. maybe ill draw infant vincent one of these days #i just come up with stuff and draw them doing it. it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside #cuz like anton works for lobocorp as an abnormality BUT hes super duper chill and cute and does his funny little tasks so its fine #AND hes unkillable. auggie is an oc ive had since like 6th grade and i smushed them together. and vincent was for fun but i got attached #i dont have much of a read on anton either bc i think hes meant to be more of an insert character??? if im using that right #on one hand i dont think too hard abt anything being ooc since im not taking it seriously. on the other hand i just hold them in my hands #and stare into space until i can come up with something to draw since i dont have much to go off of. but its fun to build on small tidbits! #i think bow called it an au so i guess??? its an au????? im not really sure. bow if youre reading this im just willy nilly #the only thing i know for sure is that they boink like rabbits. im talking gomez and morticia levels of boinking #maybe ill go back and look at my old doodles for them and redraw em lol #myart #my art #my oc #oc #friend oc #augusta #anton #vincent #sillies family #doodles

[rudeboimonster]

~help your local rat get stable housing~

edit post nov 2023: I GOT THE HELP I NEEDED THANK YOU SOSOOSO MUCH

dramatically sprawled out on the floor

so i gotta move for the third time in that many years. unfortunately between health problems and the General State of The Economy, I have been unable to find work to be able to save any money. i have no choice but to leave the entire state. i thankfully have somewhere to go, however I need help getting there. i've been trying to do the math to get what I need to its lowest amount possible, but even that is still at least $2.5k.

after this move, i should be able to get things more stable and I might even have a couple job prospects lined up in that area, but right now I'm really scraping the bottom of the barrel funds wise and desperately need help.

if you're able to spare anything, i've set up a goal through kofi so i can track it publicly. i have trouble asking for help but i really need what help i can get. thank you, so so so much.

#mutual aid #fundraiser #help #god i dont know what to tag this im just kinda ripping off the bandage bc ive been anxious about posting about this since i got asked to #leave. head in hands. please help by spreading the word if you cant spare any cash i completely understand. #i dont know what i can offer. my ability to do art has been really really low and with my sleeping/living arrangements my wrists shoulders #back have been in fucking wretches states so its hard for me to do much #if youre wonder about the other fundraiser i did a few years ago #the person i replaced in a renting situation ended up fucking me over and got basically evicted into the 2nd week of college and i had 3 da #to leave that situation or more people wouldve gotten fucked over. and ive been basically couch surfing since trying to find work #anyways i havent slept in a bed for more than a weekend since october 2021 my back is turbo fucked please help

[canisalbus]

To me, Machete kind of has the energy of a secondary villain/coldhearted side character in someone else's story that a lot of fans latch onto, moreso than the protagonist. Question is, would he be the villain in anyone's story?

Why, thank you! I'm actually glad to hear he gives off that vibe. I don't think he set out to become a villain but a lot of people certainly view him as one.

#in the 16th century canon he starts out as an introverted but sincerely well meaning guy that never quite manages to find his social niche #he was a sensitive kid and when subjected to enough pressure #his insecurity fearfulness and powerlessness mutate into distrust resentment aggression suffocating repression and self-restraint #I don't think he's a bad person in fact he consistently tries very hard to do the right thing #do his job properly avoid letting people down and get through life with a sense of dignity #but he is supposed to come across kind of cold impersonable and difficult to be around if you don't know him personally (and very few do) #people can sense there's something wrong with him and are put off by it #Vatican is a nest of vipers and as the stakes rise he retreats deeper into his coldblooded untouchable work persona #he has no choice but to start lying scheming blackmailing and eliminating his enemies #in order to maintain his position keep Vasco safe their relationship under wraps and his own head above water #essentially playing by the same rules everyone else in the holy see has been playing with for centuries #eventually he loses his spot as the secretary of state and is manipulated/forced to take on a role in the roman inquisition #and if people were sort of iffy about him before being the authority overseeing trials torture excommunications and executions doesn't help #and since he has so few allies and such an infamous reputation he's an easy target for scapegoating whenever necessary #towards the end it dawns on him that he's become the kind of twisted cruel corrupt person he used to fear and despise #and the guilt moral injury and abject self-loathing had largely sapped him of his will to live by the time the final assassin gets him #answered #anonymous #Machete #Vaschete lore #he thought his dream of priesthood would make him a better person more worthy of admiration safety and love but he climbed too high #and got roped up in the dangerous games that take place under god's nose and slowly got strangled to death

[hongluboobs]

wish her happy birthday IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!

(I made these for an assignment but I think they're neat so I will post them here <3 we may get proper Birthday Art created for that purpose later! depends on my schedule)

#angela lor #angela lobcorp #lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #lobcorp #pachidraws #btw the assignment was just “create a poster showing you know how to do basic things with type” #i just wanted to go hard #pachiposting #HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSPECIALEST ANGEL!!!!!!!!! #and limbus company ig. but mostly angela #the text is from lobcorps ending i just Needed type on there #this was another fun illustrator experiment #i dont get to/want to work in illustrator often but it can be fun

[bbreaddog]

Practising Goncharov Theme by @caramiaaddio on violin bc I thought it would add an extra layer of haunting…ness (is that a word?)

Here’s the excerpt I’m playing in the video:

Despite it being in a fuck off key for violin it is a really beautiful piece and it’s absolutely worth the trouble of practising in second position (world’s most hated position) and I’m HOPING 🤞 I can record and (maybe) post a full cover of it someday

#goncharov #music #violin #goncharov theme #oh man i have not posted my face in a very very very long time #possibly years #am i freaking out about it? a little #could i have converted this to audio instead? #well. yes but. it’s not exactly awesome quality in this practise room lmao #i so so badly wanna write out all the technical things I’m doing/focusing on here bc GRRR TECHNICAL WORK IS SO INTERESTING TO ME #but i would be typing out a whole essay probably and i don’t think my followers really. care that much about violin tech #lest they also play violin #i have one (1) known mutual who plays violin and that’s IT #apologies for the metronome ticking in the video #it can be very irritating to listen to #alas… it is also important for not speeding up when playing #anyways #hi caramiaaddio you don’t know me but big fan of what you’ve written here #ESPECIALLY THE CHROMATIC BITS OUGHHHH #the little semiquavers that poke their heads through like TWICE are surprisingly hard #but also they sound extra creepy in a good way #BIG fan #wait wait WAIT WAIT #i think this is my first time posting any of my violin playing here like. EVER. #I’ve been here for OVER A DECADE #AND I’M POSTING MY VIOLIN FOR THE FIRST TIME. FOR FUCKING. GONCHAROV. #i don’t have the right emoji for how I’m feeling rn #personal #mine #my face

[turtleblogatlast]

Don’t think I ever quite said what my LGBTQ+ headcanons are for the boys, so these are my current thoughts! Always changing of course but this is what I feel most strongly right now.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt headcanons #rise donnie #rise leo #rise mikey #rise raph #donnie and leo’s sexualities being practically swapped was unintentional but it works way too well #same with mikey and raph tbh it was a happy accident #anyway I kinda hc raph as the type who doesn’t care about physical appearance just if you fight lol #Mikey’s more than happy with friends and family #Donnie is a BIG romantic but he needs time to sus a person out fully before he gets the hots for them #leo meanwhile isn’t keen on romance unless it’s with someone he grows to really really REALLY trust #I could go on and probably will later (knowing me) but it is late and I am tired haha #turtle art tag #curious as to what everyone else headcanons #the only one of these I’ll defend forever is Bi (female-leaning) donnie and trans leo #all the others can change over time but I really like where they’re sitting right now #I hope these are the right flags too because it was kinda hard to find them #went looking for transmasc flag in particular but I couldn’t find a solid agreed upon version 😭 #ngl a big part of why I hc mikey as aro is because of a pun #my phone often misspells aromantic as aromatic and- and you get it- because aromatic herbs and- and Mikey is a chef do YOU GET IT #note that while I hc leo as bisexual (male-leaning) I still think he’s prob closer to demi in that as well just not as far into the spectrum #if that makes sense #headcanons are fun and hard to narrow down at the same time alas #I made this in like an hour can you tell djjdjd #I drew them all from memory so if there’s anything wrong…shhh #and if you’re wondering for April and Splinter #Both are Bisexual (female-leaning) but April is also Panromantic #I almost wanna make Splinter demiromantic too so Big Mama’s betrayal hits just a bit harder