#I’m aroace but I have never been in a qpr | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aroace-genderfluid-snake · 2 years

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God, I’m so fucking tired of romance.

Like seriously! It’s everywhere! And where it’s not? People try to say it is! Like is that all you alloromantics think about? Is it that great that most people, consciously or not, believe they need it to be happy? Is it addictive or something? Why does it belong everywhere? Why is it that the moment there’s any sort of aromantic rep, people are trying to prove that they’re not aromantic? Why is it that, if I explain my ideal relationship to an alloromantic person, they’ll probably just tell me it’s actually romance? Why is my sexuality considered nothing when half of the romantic bullshit out in the world literally has no substance?

Why am I considered less? Because aromantic people are. We’re considered less queer, less lgbt, even by people who aren’t exclusionists. Not only that, but aromantic, along with asexual, is considered to just be a modifier: this is a straight person who doesn’t want sex (never mind that isn’t what asexual means), this is a bi person who isn’t interested in a romantic relationship (again, not what aromantic means), this is a non-binary person, their sexuality is nothing!

Did you know that there’s literally no scientific studies on aromanticism? Did you know that conversion therapy for us is very much still legal in almost every single country? Do you know what it’s like to learn your identity in a community who’s modo is “love is love!” to find out you can’t fall in love? Do you know how fucking dismissive it is when people say “oh, but there’s platonic love! There’s other types! Just because you’re aromantic doesn’t mean you can’t feel love!” when someone so much as comments on aphobia in a post very much directed towards romantic attraction? Not to mention how fucking cruel it is to look at aromanticism like that. Like it’s unfortunate. And how saying we can still feel other types of love isn’t even true to all aromantics.

The first time I heard of asexuality and aromanticism was in an exclusionist’s post. I was on Instagram, which is a fucking cesspool, but I was also 13, so I didn’t know. And you know what happened? I believed it. For the next three years, I believed it! And all I can think, as I look at some of you, is that if exclusionist didn’t include trans people and weren’t terfs, you’d be silently agreeing with them. That you are agreeing with them when it comes to the aspec community. Because I’ve gone down the exclusionist pipeline before, and you guys? Some of you are already in.

#lol it’s 4 am and I’m tired but. idk. i just read something that set me off #it was my own fault. I knew it’d be about romance. but.#but I don’t know. i guess I’m just tired of expecting aphobic comments every time I read anything romance related #what does it matter? most the people who read this will also be aspec. the ones that aren’t are mostly already good allies.#and the rest can go fuck themselves I don’t have the energy for them #I’m tired. so tired. in a way that’ll never go away. or more accurately wont go away until I don’t have to see romance everywhere #and this isn’t abt seeing couples in public or seeing gay ppl talk abt their romantic relationships. it’s really not.#it’s about how if a show had a canonical qpr so many people would see them as a romantic couple. act like they can’t be anything but #it’s about how the few times I’ve posted abt aro hcs ppl have gotten mad at me #it’s about how romance is referred to as something more. fuck y’all for that one. seriously. y’all suck #and yeah it’s been worse and it’s getting better but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m tired #a better future doesnt erase a worse past #but whatever. most people don’t care either way #aro #aromantic #arospec #asexual #aroace #oh yeah the aroace nonbinary person is me and that actually happened ❤️#queer #lgbtqai #aphobia tw #ace #aspec #acespec #happy pride. I’m going to sleep

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fanby-fckry · 1 month

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You know what, I’m just gonna say it. I think that Alastor being aroace is part of the reason he’s so shippable to me.

Before you come at me, check the flag in my pfp; I’m aroace-spec.

Maybe it’s me projecting, maybe it’s because I love exploring relationships through an aroace lens, but goddamn. I ship him more than any other character and every time I do, his aroaceness is a major component in the ship.

Examples below the cut because it’s gonna get long:

📻🍎 || RadioApple:

There are so many versions of this dynamic and I am here for all of them.

We have the pre-canon kinky QPR that I show in UH3. I could talk about that all day, but to summarize:

Aroace x genuinely respectful allo is a dynamic that heals my soul.

Lucifer is less tied down by human constructs like amatonormativity, having never been human himself.

The Devil values consent.

Kinky cannibalism, kinky cannibalism, kinky cannibalism, kinky ca- *I am removed from the stage with a comically large hook*

Then we have the Evil and fucked up QPR dynamic:

And of course, trying to get along for Charlie’s sake and eventually bonding over their shared love of dad jokes and musical theatre, both being violinists (yup, Alastor plays violin too, check the wiki) with niche hobbies/interests (ducks, furby organ) and accidentally winding up in a loving, healthy QPR.

📻🕸️ || RadioDust:

There’s something about an aroace and a sex worker who very rarely falls in love.

Angel would know that Alastor isn’t with him for sex, would know that he values Angel beyond his body.

With greyro Alastor, Angel and Alastor would both be inexperienced with romance, but in wildly different ways. Angel has never had a healthy romantic relationship and therefor tries not to fall in love. Greyro Alastor has probably experienced romantic attraction like less than three times in his 100+ years of existence.

And if Alastor never gains romantic attraction for Angel, that’s a whole other level to the dynamic.

It’s got some great angst potential with Angel wondering if he’s not good enough to love romantically or Alastor feeling guilty or confused as to Why It Hasn’t Happened Yet when he cares for Angel so deeply, and eventually it gets resolved with the two of them accepting that their attractions don’t have to match up for them to love/appreciate/care for each other and they smash the amatonormative relationship hierarchy as queer platonic partners.

Or, Angel’s just totally cool with it from the start because he’s spent decades in the kink scene and has potentially been exposed to more relationship anarchy than Alastor.

Kink and queerness have a great deal of historical and cultural overlap, and that includes aroace queerness. Because Angel’s had way more canon exposure to both, it’s possible he knows more about Alastor’s orientation than Alastor does, and I love the idea of Angel introducing him to terms or just being super chill about not labeling things.

📻♥️ || RadioHusk:

Drawing like 90% from pilot dynamic and headcanon on this. They’re just two old men. They get drunk and cuddle. Alastor is one of the few people who knows Husk can purr and takes advantage of this fact. Alastor considers Husk a friend in a fucked up, possessive way. Husk considers Alastor a pain in the ass, but does care about him on some level.

It’s Fucked Up and Evil QPR: Remix Edition.

And the versions where the author puts them through fanfic couple’s therapy and actually gets them into a healthy point in their relationship? One where Alastor no longer owns Husk’s Soul? *chef’s kiss*

📻🌹 || RadioRose:

For me, personally, this is an exclusively nonsexual, non-romantic ship. They’re besties; they’re QPPs. They’re married for the tax benefits and so that they cannot be forced to testify against each other in court.

Rosie knew Alastor was aroace before he did and rather than sit down and explain it to him, she decided to make ace puns.

📻💋 || RadioSiren: [edit, context here] RadioFemme

Ok, so this is entirely based on non-canon-compliant Lilith. Or, I guess, non-series-compliant Lilith. More of the old WOG stuff from the pilot era, with a healthy dose of headcanon for flavor.

I love the idea of Lilith and Lucifer having an open marriage; I love the UH3 style polycule dynamic.

Lilith being the original seductress and Alastor being aesthetically but not sexually or romantically attracted to her is very near and dear to my heart.

I’m an aroace with a voice kink who is aesthetically attracted to Lilith and I think Alastor is an aroace with a voice kink who would be aesthetically attracted to Lilith, ok?

📻📺 || RadioStatic:

I’m gonna be real with you, 90% of my interest in RadioStatic is in the one-sided version where Vox is a pathetic little incel simp and Alastor is either oblivious, mildly annoyed, or finds the whole thing hilarious.

Whenever there’s any reciprocation on Alastor’s part, I always imagine it being in a very aroace, very Alastor-esque way. He needs to be get something out of it completely unrelated to sex/romance. And he needs to be manipulative and sadistic in the process.

Whether that something is kink-related, a business transaction, or simply the quality entertainment provided by Vox being a cringefail TV-headed little bitch, I love to see it.

#hazbin hotel #alastor #radioapple #radiodust #radiohusk #radiorose #radiofemme #radiostatic #onewaybroadcast #fanby’s fuckery #osha violation #suggestive

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our-aroace-experience · 3 months

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I always thought I was aroace until I met my best friend and got really confused, because I would think about them a lot and I would (after spending a lot of time together) get the fluttery feeling when I was with them. But I've never wanted anything sexual with her.. I think kisses and sex are kinda gross and a waste of time. And we've even talked about it, she doesn't like that stuff either. That's how close and comfy with each other we are. I also talked about it with my therapist and basically my therapist thought it was a crush. If I HAD to put a label on it, I'd agree that "crush" is probably closest. The no sex thing was fine, and actually common for some people like me: some people on the autism spectrum. Anyway, months later, I'm on a walk with best friend and she's talking about their sexuality and they say so smoothly "yeah and I think I have a crush on you." ?!?!?!?!??!!??!?!?!??!!? OH MY GOD. Holy cow. okay. wow. if someone else had said that to me, I would've been weirded out. I always thought dating was weird and never understood it. But when SHE said it? I got so excited and flustered and I said I think I had a crush on them and we talked. We were confused though because we were like "well, what now? are we dating??" because we didn't wanna kiss and stuff but still we felt like. attached? close? to each other. and what's the point of dates? lets just hang out and chill. we didn't really put a label on it. It's a Qpr, I guess? we're girlfriends, partners, whatever. remember in the jaiden animations video where she says she thought having a partner was just like having an extra special friend or whatever? that's us!! my partner is simply my person. I love them. also after the walk and talk, they asked me "so wanna get married on stardew?" we're both obsessed with the game. I said yes. Im just amazed because I've had other close friends say they had crushes on me but I was always just like "oh :(" because I never understood. and honestly I don't think I do still. but her. my favorite person in the whole world. they understand me. I understand her. we're each other's special person and that's all that matters to me. I love the aroace spectrum because relationships like mine exist and we can feel valid because there's others like us and I just. wow. its just special.

i’m so happy to hear it! best wishes to you and your partner!

#our aroace experience #aroace asks #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aroace #aro pride #ace pride #aroace joy!

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kalfui · 3 months

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Let me preface this by saying I’m AroAce myself:

Both sides of the Alastor shipping argument suck.

One hand you have people erasing aroace identities and on the other you have people erasing aroace identities. You’ve got people hyper sexualizing Alastor and erasing his identity. But then you’ve got people erasing the identities of others by insisting that the only valid AroAce representation is the sex repulsed and romance repulsed point of the spectrum.

I’m a demi romantic asexual. I’ll never have sex but I happily read smutty fanfiction. Romance doesn’t interest me unless I’ve formed a deep connection with them. We exist.

It’s just super frustrating and downright dehumanizing to see people insist that my identity doesn’t exist.

QPR, queer platonic relationships, exist too.

In the end, what point of the spectrum Alastor is on hasn’t been directly stated, the AroAce spectrum is super vast and detailed, QPRs exist, and people really need to understand that the world isn’t black and white, and Alastor isn’t ours, we can’t say our ideas are gospel and attack other people for their ideas

I'm not saying that the only valid aroace rep is the sex and romance repulsed ones, I'm saying that I'm tired of people using the excuse that aroace people can still date and have sex when we're talking about characters that obviously do not feel like that. I'm obviously not saying aroace people who do feel romantic or sexual attractions are invalid. Me talking about the fact that I don't feel romantic and sexual attraction and not wanting characters that, obviously don't either, to be reduced down to sex machines is not me saying that the only valid aroace rep is this one. From what I and many others have seen is that Alastor is sex repulsed and either romance indifferent or romance repulsed. If the show proves me wrong, then so be it. I'm going by social cues, and I'm getting annoyed with people looking past the fact that he's a very complex and interesting character, and that changing his sexuality is useless as it's a part of him.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #aroace #aroace alastor #asexual #asexuality #aromantic #vivziepop #vivienne medrano #spindlehorse #aroace rep #aroace representation #aromanticism

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qprsmackdown · 9 months

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c!Emerald duo propaganda:

Let me tell you. We've got two guys. They live together. They live miles away from everyone else but they live in a little cabin in the snow together. They would die for each other. One HAS died for the other. One is in a monogamous relationship with the personification of death and the other is one of the most widely headcanoned aroace characters and it in no way ever devalues what is considered as one of the most unshakable relationships in the story

"For you the world" — Technoblade to Philza. They are so loyal to each other, legit the healthiest and strongest relationship in the fandom

"For you, the world, Phil." -Technoblade "Sometimes one friend is all you need." -Technoblade “I’m following Techno to the gates of hell... and if he wants to take over the world, god dammit I’m gonna help this man.” - Philza “I followed him to the ends of the earth, through fire and flames.“ - Philza (about Technoblade)

They live together. They kill together. They're raising a polar bear and a very anxious enderman hybrid. They committed so many war crimes and looked good doing it<3 "For you, the world" quote my beloved. Anarchism swag😎

Silly guys of all time! They took over the entire world together once <3 (pre-dsmp but still canon to dsmp) they blew up a country together <3 gotta love 2 guys who commit Literal Actual warcrimes. Also the way they trust eachother just unconditionally is just soo ouuuugggghghhhh i love them. iirc I remember a part where techno was basically just talking about how he'll basically never trust anyone again. TO Phil. Who was very obviously an unspoken exception to the "never trusting anyone" thing. It's been a while so idk if I remember it right but aaaouuuugggg their relationship was so good. Also "for you the world phil" AAAAAUUUUUUU (although the context of that line is much sillier than people usually remember but they are silly guys <3). Ooouugghhh I have so much I could talk about but it's late so I can't think of it right now but they are sooooooo important they are everything to me. This is kinda bad propaganda bc I don't know if I'm even remembering things right and am vaguely incorrect but AUGH. EMERALDDUO

Consider: the fanon immortals being very old friends thing which is a trope i will never not love, and also taking over the world with your qpp is so pogchamp of them

Two anarchist immortals who have been besties for an indeterminable amount of time, but at least for hundreds of years. Took over the Earth once just to show that they can. Back-To-Back Badasses. Each other's consciences and also enablers. Lived together in the middle of nowhere tundra biome, in connected little cottages with their bazillion pets.

THOSE BITCHES WERE LIVING IN THE ARCTIC TOGETHER IN THEIR GAY LITTLE COTTAGE WITH LIKE 100 ANIMALS!!!! They’d both often talk about how they’d kill and die for one another, they’ve been together for centuries despite Techno being all but confirmed Aroace and Philza being married to someone else!! I think they definitely had a QPR going on because like. The person you’re closest to and have lived alongside for god knows how long u gotta at least have SOMETHING going on there imo.

They are both imortal livelong best friends who have been there for each other through war and and other personal hardships They are partners in crime, both arnarchists who took down a nation together and both live in retirement together They only trust each other wholeheartedly (aka they both belive the other wont betray them) and Phil is the only person Techno feels he can be himself around (aka be soft around).

Apparently their qpr had drama in the past bc of this one fic but tbh i dont really get why These two are literally just. The best. There's absolutely no romance between them, but they're the closest of friends, and they care about each other so so much. And they deserve all the things. They live together in a house in the arctic in a commune for anarchists. Basically everyone in the Syndicate are their adopted children. 'For you, the world, Phil' -Technoblade (Just like to say this too, Techno is not Phil's son in the DSMP universe. It's been canonically confirmed.)

They’re two dudes who spend all their time together, built their houses next to each other (and connected it w a bridge), started a commune together, took over the world together, have FRIENDSHIP EMERALDS, and are genuinely such good friends (these are the characters but the irl guys were really good friends until techno died too)

Just a bird and his pig chilling as kings

"for you phil, the world" is treated like this big dramatic line as they take over smpearth but in context its bc they were arguing over something silly and techno laughed and conceded to him and like... just look at then they're ride or die besties emerald duo ftw (on a sadder note i constantly see philza wearing techno's merch on streams and videos and just... man i miss seeing them together)

immortal warriors who have promised to follow each other to the ends of the earth, through fire and flames. they are each others most trusted person without a doubt. when trying to retire from the wars that plagued the server, they both retired in an arctic tundra where they lived together.

These guys cant be seperate from each other anymore than like three days. Like, on top of also doing the antarctic empire together in earthSMP, they just moved to the arctic together to just enjoy life and retirement together. They understand each other like no other bc they've known each other forever. Also bc if we take the titles of bloodgod and angel of death literally you get something something being willing to spend eternity with the other because you care abt them. These two are fine being isolated from everybody else and chilling on their own bc thats all they need

Their relationship is defined by a connection that has lasted for centuries. Despite everything, they always go back to each other. They live together in a cabin in the arctic. They also like murdering together a little too much.

old men committed terrorism and then they settled down :)

For you Phil, the world Immortal best friends spend thousands of years together, conquer the world, found a empire. Phil has a kid with his goddess wife, Techno wind up joining the kids rebellion against the country he founded. When that goes wrong they start a commune called the Syndicate. They are so ride or die. I love them

please they live together theyre best friends theyre immortal together they love each other and phil is married to a god PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

#propaganda #c!emerald propaganda #they have also done really well in the retirement home poll i know that

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aroace-ventplace · 2 months

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I don't know how to put this right. I really hate qprs, I hate how they're just pushed as "relationship for aspecs" not just in fandom but real life. I hate just the emphasis on lifelong friendships and alternative deep relationships. It drives me up a wall, this seeking out for relationships "equivelant" in depth and closeness to romantic partners without the romance or sex. Maybe this isn't me being aroace? Maybe I really am aplatonic also? But I can't stand the thought of suffering a relationship that suffocatingly close, that's how I knew I was aromantic and I feel like I'm going crazy every time I see other aros and aces lamenting and mourning never getting to have such a deep relationship. Familial relationshipd are the best, because they have a limit to their passive degredation. My cousin doesn't mind it's been 2 years since we talked she still invites me over to her house to see her and talk! Friends are already exhausting what on earth could possibly ever make someone want to deal with something even more than that! What's so appealing about it? What is it everyone even other aros see in these relationships that make them lament lacking them? I can't see anything but cons. It feels like when people get upset about a friendship ending, I'll never understand that drive. I've never felt expected to have a romance or sex life, but I've always felt expected to want an equivelant, to "not be alone" and I can't tell how much of it is subtler forms of amatonormativity and how much of it is just spectrum.... I don't even know what I'm ranting about anymore...

i definitely relate to a lot of what you’re saying. the a-spectrum is so wide that constructs that are really important to one part of the community (like qprs) can make other people (non-partnering aros like myself) feel alienated all over again. this is a bit of a messy subject to tackle, but personally, the idea of being in a qpr fills me with the same kind of revulsion i feel towards being in a more “traditional” relationship. i’m genuinely happy for the aspecs who feel comfortable in qprs—it’s just not something that’ll ever fit me, and that boundary can sometimes feel a bit isolating in general aspec spaces.

i… can’t really discuss aplatonicism/friendships without bringing up the fact that i’m autistic (as are many aspec people). to me, autism feels like being an alien that’s forced to pretend to be human. i don’t understand other people, and most of them don’t understand me, and trying to keep up with them is exhausting; it’s easier for me to just keep my distance. i do have people i consider friends, but what i define as a “friendship” looks very different from what society expects it to be. as an autistic person, most of my relationships are less… “intense,” i guess. prolonged social interaction just isn’t something i’m suited for, and that’s how my brain works, and it’s fine—just like it’s fine how i don’t experience “romance” in the societally expected way.

sorry for the rambling; if nothing else, i hope it at least helped you feel like there’s someone else out there who’s experiencing the same things as you. best of luck!!

#ask #anonymous #aromantic #asexual #aplatonic #autism #<- 6-hit ‘a’ combo… nice

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vacantgodling · 2 months

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right, sexualities of all my MAIN characters from ALL my wips (as i can best describe them)

i'm leaving out rouge ocs like stellan or lauchlan just cuz they don't have a story they're just vibing lol. i'm also leaving out ones where i genuinely don't know yet like itri or seamus.

hyacinthus shrapnel (paramour) -> gay but extremely picky. he was wholly uninterested in sexuality and sex AT ALL until amon

amon (paramour) -> gay and he’s being very whorish about it

lavendula calderon (requiem for the monochrome) -> bisexual but hasn’t really been able to explore her attraction to non-men until the story starts.

erecia (requiem for the monochrome) -> straight-lesbian. she’s butch & troibemme (nb in this universe) but would consider herself bigender she/he in our terminology and fully considers herself both a man and a woman at the same time. she would honestly prefer the label straight-lesbian more than sapphic bc she’s not a woman all the time and that speaks to her experience more than anything.

narcissus spokes (prim & provocative) -> aro-graysexual (sex and romance positive). it’s something she comes to discover throughout her narrative. she doesn’t really experience or feel romance or desire for sex in a traditional way; she desires being wanted so she wants those things for herself but she doesn’t experience the actual attraction herself. she didn’t realize it bc on paper before her divorce, she didn’t have to question any of it—being with myrtus and being casually intimate but never hot and heavy seriously never bothered her. once he leaves though, through meeting new friends (i’m cooking) and generally going through it grants her new perspective.

tagetes gunn (empire) -> aroace (kink positive). the only attraction they have is to power.

kirsi sunniva (alizath) -> bisexual, with a preference for mascs

quill (teardrops of the gods) -> bisexual, with a preference for femmes

darren de leon (vampires don't take roadtrips) -> bisexual with a preference for mascs. he actually thought he was gay for most of his life until he turned like 14 and then he realized "oh, girls are kinda hot too"

julissa vaughn (donut wip) -> bisexual & polyamorous. the dream ending of this wip is her, joaquin, andres, saul and daisy ending up in a quintouple but alas.

noi randiche (noi, alone) -> nblm. they're nonbinary and they like men so. they don't really like labels anyway, but if they had to describe it that's what they'd say.

jenna magboo (jenna the reaper / jenna the witch king) -> bi-ace lesbian. she and carlos are in a qpr basically but in terms of fleeting romantic feelings she'd align more with lesbian (all of her 'crushes' have been women or femme-aligning but she doesn't experience attraction That strongly) but she also doesn't think she's had enough experience to say she's not bi also. lesbian is an important label to her especially because both of her mothers are lesbian, but she also knows she's young and likes the complexity of her labels.

carlos carvalho (jenna the reaper / jenna the witch king) -> aroace (sex/romance repulsed). in a qpr and is a caretaker of jenna - though when i say they're in a qpr its a very unspoken thing between them. like, jenna's whole goal is to become a witch and then make carlos her familiar so they're never separated, so i think that's very explicit about what they are to each other pff.

n blackburn (dead rites) -> the way that n barely registers his sexuality bc he's married to his work LMAOOOO. he'd say that he's pan, it really has more to do with the mental connection than physical attraction for him so anything is fair game (but again... married to his work actually)

beau bellerose (dead rites) -> gay gay homosexual gay

jihan (supernatural dads) -> pan, he's too old to have a preference and he's very open to experimenting.

hue rvynwell (supernatural dads) -> gay and he definitely had a crisis about it when he was growing up. however in his family it was such a nonissue LMAO they were like "why the hell would we care about that just make sure you have a kid" and whaddya know, he had 2!

piper fairwind (tcol) -> queer probably but she doesn't really think about any of that. if she were in our world, labels would be like the most meaningless shit to her LMAO.

san dearborn (tcol) -> aro-queer. romance is just not something she can wrap her head around however she does get into a... teammate with benefits relationship in book 2 that i think is funny as fuck.

deux undershield (tcol) -> literally the first cishet character to appear on this list LMAO

forte symphonia (tcol) -> bisexual

clear brightendale (tcol) -> gay and he's hiding So Deep in the closet he needs someone to tell him its ok to come out lmaooo (aka: literally everyone)

di absyna (lukewarm rejection) -> gay but at what cost (his strict religious parents being generally horrible is one cost pff)

toph (lukewarm rejection) -> bisexual and a menace, but mostly attracted to mascs.

nyseah nicoletti (nondisclosure) -> she's trans heteroflexible basically. she's mostly attracted to guys but she also definitely cares more about a connection than anything else so she's open to exploring. (also she's pff married to my partner they love her LMAO)

donte macbride (nondisclosure) -> gay but more than being gay, he's fucking exhausted.

alona springwell (nondisclosure) -> the second cishet to appear on this list LMAO.

dagmar (celestial weddings) -> being mspec and polyamorous is literally just the default sexuality of the world of celestial weddings so yeeee.

graves (the graves we dug) -> FAGGOT COWBOY YEEHAW. pff but yeah he's gay. and sad.

dove (the graves we dug) -> another faggot cowboy lmao he's gay.

calvin im (purple haze) -> the first cishet dude on this list

jake deluna (purple haze) -> bisexual but he has a rough time coming to terms with this.

nevaeh (god eater) -> tbh i don't think nevaeh even knows what sexuality is (being a beacon of paradise is a very isolating lot in life) but i think they're probably gray across the board. the idea of romance or sex isn't really something they have much of a concept in their brain yet but they're curious about it.

little bear (god eater) -> mspec polyamorous; he doesn't really have time for relationships most of the time but he's definitely open to being ridden by anyone who wants to give it a go.

taj (god eater) -> pan and very in... some sort of codependent infatuation with thei.

thei (god eater) -> pan and tired. in a codependency relationship thing with taj.

lennon rhapsody granger (gothica) -> a surprise cishet appears.

aurora o'rion (gothica) -> bisexual and a whore about it

morrigan briarcos (gothica) -> gay and longsuffering. lennon is his (1) exception.

chidori jonson (train master chidori) -> just generally considers himself queer :)

nyoka (the virgin of mt heredosa) -> demi. its verin or bust.

verin (the virgin of mt heredosa) -> mspec but he's a centuries old god so like the concept of sexuality is mostly funny to him. he likes what he likes.

red (red death and the oracle's favor) -> aroace (sex repulsed bc of trauma). her and hel are in a qpr and i'm obsessed with them and their relationship

hel (red death and the oracle's favor) -> gay but loves red more than he loves dick and that's saying something. he doesn't expect her to say it back or feel the same as him but she cares about him in her own way and he's extremely not normal about it. he also wants to jump arden's bones and Did.

arden (red death and the oracle's favor) -> gay but he can't be gay and the king so he's very closeted. not unaccepting of it but he definitely is not talking about it and only allows himself to indulge with hel under the cover of darkness.

ranger pellish (sixteen candles) -> aro-bisexual and Very sex positive. he's such a slut and he lives by that. him and nan are basically a qpr.

nanette rosenfeld (sixteen candles) -> lesbian but she & range are inseperable and she's definitely given him the strap on many occasion to make him shut the hell up.

tuker hayes (sixteen candles) -> disaster bi with a 13 year long crush on vani he's hopeless.

vanilla vega (sixteen candles) -> demi-pansexual <3

roger grant (sixteen candles) -> probably not straight but is he willing to admit that to himself right now? absolutely not :DDDD

marvin (marvin & linda) -> sexuality doesn't matter because the company is more important (probably gay but yknow. his identity is kind of irrelevant to him)

linda / stephen (marvin & linda) -> mspec but marvin's the first person he's had a connection with on a romantic level.

prosper morning (the white shirts) -> hasn't thought about it too hard, but he definitely thinks marin is attractive and he Hates That a lot.

jane morning (the white shirts) -> she hasn't thought about it before so unknown

marin (the white shirts) -> gay asf

noh bell (noble) -> gay gay homosexual gay space super solider teehee.

peri (peri & dandy) -> outside of dandy, most lifetimes he's demi-gay. but he's really only ever attracted to dandy

dandy (peri & dandy) -> outside of dandy he's pan but he's also only ever looking for peri and only sleeps with people who have "peri energy" (whatever the hell that means lmao)

utah (broken clouds) -> fagggggggggggggggggg

gator (broken clouds) -> faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggg

slug (broken clouds) -> literally they don't know or care about any of that.

sjaak de witte (btaf) -> if he were in modern times, he'd be bisexual probably. and suffering.

biscella (btaf) -> another surprise cishet but i think in modern times she'd also probably be bi i just don't think in the canon verse she had the thought or bandwidth to explore her attraction to women (much to azelie's sadness)

#dude idk what to tag this as PFF #character stats #ig #idk

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midnight-train-of-thought · 3 months

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I have been having a crisis about whether I am aro or where I am on the aro spectrum for FIVE MONTHS and I still can’t figure it out GAHHH!! 😭😭😭

‘Cause I’m definitely 100% ace but I’ve never been in a relationship and I haven’t had a crush in YEARS if EVER so I was thinking I’m aroace but I do want a relationship eventually…which still could be a qpr or something idk.

BUT THEN! FIVE MONTHS AGO! I met this person and omg they’re amazing and I think about them way way too much, multiple times a day, and I smile when I’m thinking about them like the things they’ve texted me and the cute lil things they do and they’re so funny and talented and… Is this a crush??? Or a squish???? Do I actually want to date them?? Or just be..closer friends???? Does this make me greyromantic?? Or cupioromantic??? Is this romantic attraction at ALL??????

I don’t KNOWWWWWW 😩😩😩

#aroace #arospec #asexual #lgbtqia #greyromantic #squish #crush #aromantic

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phlurrii · 1 year

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Is Meau and Noe's partnership more familial or would you consider it closer then that feeling? I don't entirely understand QPR, nor have I heard the term before so I'm trying to understand exactly how you'd consider this pairing. From what I'm gathering, it's closer then a familial connection, like a traditional relationship, but without the attraction a relationship traditionally implies; but it still has that 'I'll be here to grow old with you until the end of time' vibes

They definitely started out much more familial, but over the millions of years they’ve known each other it grows to be a much closer and deeper companionship then familial bond!

Their relationship was inspired by a personal friendship with someone that shares the strongest and deepest bond I’ve ever experienced with another individual. I couldn’t imagine my life without them in it, but due to the fact I’m gay it’s never even been possible for that love to be anything, but platonic, I knew I wanted that for my goofy cats. That core feeling is the type of love I wanted for Meau and Noe, but the difference between the two bonds is the mew’s aromanticism! As myself and my friend aren’t aro and have our own partners, Meau/Noe are one another’s partners.

Giving that bond of life long dedication and companionship, equivalent to a marriage, but without any romantic/sexual feelings! So you’ve got it pretty dead on there with that explanation and vibe ;3!

Also, happy pride month aroaces!~

#ask #anon #aroace #aromatic #asexual #queer platonic relationship #qpr

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ace-aro-queerplatonic-positivity · 7 months

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I hate to do this, but I was advised to seek help before spiraling.

My boyfriend of 2 years came out as aroace to me and claims he wants to stay queerplatonic with me, but I've always been an "all or nothing" allo girl and don't feel comfortable at the thought of being qp.

But I don't want to:

1. Let him go, because he said that he doesn't want us to change. He said he just can't promise a future with me.

2. Come off as aphobic, or worst, BE queerplatonic-phobic.

3. Jump to drastic conclusions when I've never been in a qp relationship before.

So, I'm reaching out to ask: What do I do? Should I give up and part ways, or should I give qpr a shot? If I go with the latter, how do qprs work? How do I live in one? How do I love an aroace?

Okay, so first thing’s first: you have no need to be scared or apologise. Not to me and not ever for seeking advice from the community. That’s why the community is here. And you want to learn so you’re not aphobic or queerplatonicphobic. Aromantic relationships can be intimidating and it’s okay to be unsure. You’re not a bad person or aphobic.

First rule about queerplatonic relationships: it’s whatever the people in it want it to be. Alloromantic people can and do have QPRs. What is important is that the both of you can agree on the type of relationship you want to have, the dynamic you want to maintain with each other. A queerplatonic relationship can be whatever the people in it want it to be, doesn’t matter what it looks like to the outside world. The relationship is yours and it’s for the two of you.

With that said, if you truly can not find it in yourself to become comfortable with this shift in your relationship– no, I’ll need to interrupt myself here

Your partner coming out as aroace does not have to change anything. Like, I should’ve lead with that. Your partner coming out as aroace and wanting a queerplatonic relationship does – at face value – not require any changes besides taking what you have now and calling it queerplatonic. Slap the new label on and you’re good to go.

Okay, now, I don’t want to assume whether he might want other changes about your dynamic. If he doesn’t, you need to figure out if you’re comfortable with the new label or if that already is a hiccup. You’re continuing your relationship as is and just call it by a different name. A rose by any other name, etc etc.

Now, if you truly can not find it in yourself to be comfortable with this… let him go.

I’m kinda bad with relationship advice and already feel like I’m rambling but you reached out to me and I want to do a good job. So maybe tackling your 3rd point is the most pressing thing. Maybe you can research and learn more about what a QPR can be (e.g. that it can – among other things – be literally the exact same relationship you’re already having just called differently).

I know it sounds intimidating and “queerplatonic” is a big word and “platonic” usually forces a certain perspective. But it’s just a different coat of paint on the same thing you’ve enjoyed with him thus far. Promise.

Hell, I was okay with my ex-partners continuing to call it a romantic relationship because I felt it was on me that I couldn’t communicate clearly to them.

That’s the other big thing. Big Thing: COMMUNICATION IS KEY

Doesn’t matter romantic, queerplatonic, amical, sexual, alterous. Any relationship requires clear and open and honest communication! Ask him directly what he expects from you. Then think about that. Then tell him what you expect. Does that still match? Great. Done.

But keep your relationship a continuous dialogue. You can not be partners (romantic or queerplatonic) if you don’t communicate your needs and wants.

This is also the “how do I love an aroace”, you’ll need to ask him. Because no two aroace folks are the same. It’s probably weird but rephrase your own question: “How do I love [him]?” And either you can answer that or you need to sit down and talk to him about it anyway. As for the “he can’t promise a future”, yeah, well, could he before coming out? Not to be rude but people change, life changes, none of us really knows what tomorrow holds and while commitment is great it’s hard to promise things with certainty.

I sincerely hope I could help and lessen your worry.

Thank you for reaching out, although I hope you didn’t ask only me and i’ll accordingly tag a few blogs @aroacepositivityplace @aroace-people-are-lgtbq @simplyqueerplatonic @queerplatonicpositivity @no-thx-im-aroace

Folks, these tags are NOT a “tumblr wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope” but I am just one guy and my opinion is obviously biased so I want to help this anon best I can by bringing other people’s opinions in. So please do reboot this to give anon some nuanced opinions.

#anon ask #queerplatonic relationship #relationship talk #queerplatonic #QPR #QP relationship #safefora #safeforace #safeforaro #relationship advice #non romantic love #non romantic relationship #aromantic relationship #aro relationship

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aroaceconfessions · 1 year

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The more I explore my relationship with my queerplatonic boyfriend, the more I feel like a fake aspec. When we got into this qpr, I imagined we would cuddle, hold hands, and kiss but not on the lips and that would be as far as we took things. But the longer we have been together, the more we’ve felt a desire to do other more intimate things. We just recently crossed over into a territory of straddling when we make out and touching bodies over and under the clothes. I’m a sex ambivalent bellusrose (and aegosexual) and none of these things feel romantic or sexual to me, and I very much love every step our relationship has taken. It feels good and right. But then I start to feel like I’m faking my aroaceness, like enjoying these things and wanting these things and even wanting a little more makes me a liar or impostor. I know this is a spectrum, I know here are plenty of aspecs who are like me and aspecs who go all the way as much as there are aspecs who could and would never do any of this. And yet I am scared I’m not a real true aspec because I’m into this stuff. I just wish I could believe myself for once

Submitted May 15, 2023

#sex ambivalent #bellusrose #aegosexual #aromantic #asexual #aroace #aspec #aro #ace #arospec #acespec #arose #impostor syndrome

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smolbeanie1221 · 3 months

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Being aroace spec can be so confusing

My first relationship was with a girl, and I kinda just went along with what she wanted to do bc I figured, well she’s enjoying it so I must be enjoying this too… I didn’t mind anything we did, I just didn’t care or think about it.

Second relationship was with a guy, and at this point my mom had made me feel incredibly guilty for having been with a girl before, joys of being afab in a religious family and the first person you date is a girl. And he was… definitely pushy. Again tho, I just went along with it bc I figured, well he wants to do this and I just have to be bi so there’s a chance I’ll be a normal girl and end up with a guy someday so I have to be enjoying this too… Yeah I definitely was feeling a lot of pressure there.

At this point, I had not felt actual sexual attraction towards anyone, and I don’t think I was ever romantically in love with either of those people.

Third relationship was with a guy who was also one of my best friends. We were kinda dating for a summer and it was a better relationship than the previous, but in the end we went back to just being friends and it was better that way.

At this point, I’m very confused, but I discover this wonderful thing called ASEXUALITY. And everything suddenly made sense. Except for one small thing.

Fourth relationship that never actually became a relationship. I was in some type of love with a different best friend, I would say demi/sapio-romantic (romantically attracted because of both an emotional and mind connection basically). But he was definitely aromantic, but allosexual. I was romantically attracted to him, but asexual… right??? For years I was confused because I wanted an actual official relationship and I would’ve been more than okay with sleeping with him. But… that can’t be sexual attraction?? I’m ace?? Right?? Ahhhhhh. Yeah so I was very confused around him. Turns out, I’m actually demi-ace, but I didn’t realize that until years later after I lost contact with him, and I’ve been too scared to reach out to him lol. Anyways I have a gf now anyways. And that’s been the only time that the demi part of my ace-ness has come out, pun intended lol.

Actual fourth relationship. Definitely romantic and completely non-sexual. Really good relationship for over a year, and that partner helped me become more comfortable with my gender identity and we both were ace and it was really good for a while. It just wasn’t a relationship that was built to grow, so eventually we drifted apart.

Fifth relationship. A non-romantic and non-sexual relationship. Lasted less than a year, but made me realize that I was also aro spec bc being in a relationship that did not have romantic or sexual expectations felt so comfortable and right.

Sixth relationship. The one that broke my heart. My other best friend in that time frame, we were incredibly close and bonded over everything, from our mental health struggles to books to sheetz runs to everything. Eventually we officially were boyfriends in a qpr. They were my number one person for so long, my life partner. There was never anything romantic or sexual, but we loved each other deeply. Until life happened and they changed and I had to break up with them and got my heart broken.

All of these took place from late middle school to early college by the way. I went from, oh I’m a girl and I like girls! To, shit I can’t like girls so I have to like boys too bc I have to be bisexual at least. To, ohhhh so I can actually not want to sleep with people and that’s normal too?? So I’m nonbinary and asexual? That makes sense. To, why why if I’m ace would I be more than okay sleeping with him??? To, huh i think I’m aro spec too. To, okay I’m definitely aro spec, probably demi-aro technically and… probably demi-ace too? Yeah that’s probably right.

At the same time, I didn’t feel as tho romantic was necessarily the right word for me. I mean I’ve experienced romantic attraction I think, but it usually felt kinda forced by either my partner’s expectations or by society’s expectations. I think that’s why my non-romantic non-sexual relationships felt so comfortable to me, bc there wasn’t any of that expectation. I have no freaking idea what romantic attraction really feels like to me. I’ve experienced it I think (??), but for several reasons including outside expectations and general-emotional-processing-issues at those times, I have a hard time knowing any emotions I was feeling at that time in my life. The “butterflies” and “spacey eyed” and “gooey lovey” feelings I felt could’ve been romantic, sure. But they could’ve also been someone who was heavily emotionally repressed all their life just being happy to have someone that they loved who loved them back and getting excited over how cute they were and enjoying their rambles and just generally being happy with someone and also liking some physical contact like hugs and cuddles bc physical touch is their love language with everyone and they like hugs with everyone they care about, and it wasn’t necessarily romantic…..

I get a similar feeling to “butterflies” when I’m nervous about something or excited to see someone in my family I haven’t seen for a while bc I love them and am excited and happy. Not necessarily a “romantic indicator”. I get “spacey eyed” all the time, and usually it’s bc I’m obsessing over my latest fanfic idea. Again, not a “romantic indicator”. I get “gooey lovey” feelings when I see an adorable animal, when someone in my family or close friend group does something really sweet for me or I’m really happy to see them or I get a hug from anyone I love. Once again, not a “romantic indicator”.

Because of all this, I have settled on alterous as my general term for the type of attraction I have with people I have or wanted to date. Alterous to me means this: “I want to be with you and talk with you and do everything with you, I just don’t care how it looks for us or how we categorize ourselves.” I would also attach romance-inclined or sex-inclined as a prefix type thing when applicable. Fourth relationship that never actually happened? Sex and romance-inclined alterous. Fourth actual relationship? Romance-inclined alterous. This doesn’t actually mean that I will feel romantic or sexual attraction or interest or desire with someone, but I may be inclined to want aspects of that type of relationship and I might have those actual feelings from time to time.

The partner that I have now, seventh relationship for those counting lol. This relationship feels stronger and better than any that I’ve had in the past. There’s no pressure or expectation about sex, and she knows that I’m on the aro spectrum, so there’s no romantic pressure either. At the same time, I love the romantic type aspects we have, but I can’t with any certainty say that my feelings are romantic, or at least not romantic all the time. But I feel about her differently than I have about anyone else. There’s several possible reasons, but one main thing I think is that I’m now in a healthier place emotionally so I can better feel and process all my emotions, including my feelings towards her.

Anyways, at this point I would say I’m aroace spec. Demi-altrose (alterous, romantic, sexual).

#smol bean thoughts #smol bean rambles #aspec #aroace #aromantic #asexual #alterous attraction #demisexual #demi ace #demiromantic #demi aro #demi rose #demi alterous #demi altrose

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