This isn't a shot at anyone and although this is in response to a comment, this post is more for awareness.
Please, do not romantic my platonic. As an aroace person the way I perceive and experience love is very different from heteronormativity. I just find it so disheartening to like read that oh this friend you talked about definitely has a crush on you because of how touchy they are. Like my years of friendship with this person is just boiled down to romantic interest and to me that's real sad. I get that here in the West we are less touchy with our friends but why should I have to conform to that? Why should you conform to that?
Hug the homies, kiss them goodnight do whatever feels right between the two of you. Relationships do not have to be labeled all the time. It's annoying and frustrating to have people assume that one friend is falling for the other simply because they're comfortable holding hands platonically. "Oh but friends don't do that-" shut the fuck up. You don't get to define what's deemed platonic/romantic in a relationship you're not even involved in. I feel sorry for everyone that feels like they can't do things that are normally seen as romantic with your friends. Like seriously you're all missing out on the depths platonic love has. And idk why the world wants to make it my problem for its own ignorance.
Can't people just be? Without any hidden intentions or ulterior motives?
I go by she/her because that's what I'm used to, but gender isn't really something that important or meaningful to me personally. I use they/them when referring to myself, but I have no problem with others using any other pronouns (though I'm not used to neopronouns, so perhaps not those).
Me, when Sebastian joins my party for the first time: Okay, this time I'm not going to forget about you, Sebastian. I'm going to make an effort to use you a lot this playthrough so I can better understand you.
Also me, immediately forgetting about Sebastian while finishing Act 2 and making it halfway through Act 3 before I finally notice his Faith quest: ......................Oh. Right. My bad.
when your mom keeps going on about how you need to marry a man already and you remind her you're asexual and her response is "Don't come to me with that foolishness"
Okay some people talk about asexuality in a way that makes me really wonder about their views on allosexual people too. Like. Some of the things people are saying or writing are so weird. This is too vague, oh well. It's the framing of one-sided unwanted attraction or unwanted romantic/sexual actions like they're worse, so much worse because Alastor is ace. Like, you know harassment is still bad even if the victim could be attracted to the perpetrator, right? Even if they are attracted to the person harassing them, it's still horrifying.
I'm a bit tired of people calling asexuality 'not a big deal.'
Here's the thing, I never thought it was a big deal either. I didn't have a big angsty coming out about being aro or being ace. It was difficult in a sense to think of the future I'd imagined for myself not coming true, but I didn't mourn that future. I was happy that there were others out there feeling what I was feeling and going through what I was going through.
But it's become a big deal. It's become a big deal because as I have grown older, I have realised the future is still fucking blurry. I have no idea what to expect from it. Society was not built for those who do not or cannot follow its rules. I've realised just how MUCH people say aphobic stuff on a daily basis. I feel constantly othered by comments that carelessly remind us we are out of the majority. That remind us again and again that we are NOT the norm and will never BE the norm. I rarely see myself on TV and in books and in movies. People feel weird about it, so they just never bring it up like an unspoken secret. I'm constantly doubted and told I'm mistaken about my own identity, which causes anxiety and self doubt so many years later. People make a variety of assumptions about me and tell me it's 'sad' and I'm 'missing out.'
It's not just about 'not having sex.' It's about feeling like you're the only one at a concert that doesn't know the words. it about society making you feel like you're just a little bit off. My sexuality/romantic identity doesn't define me. I don't WANT it to be a big deal.
But it is. It is a big deal because all of you make it a big deal.
the other day i saw a meme that spoke to me in a very personal way, but it was about being nonbinary and with my recent thoughts on gender i'm here like hold the fuck up that can't be me...
Cool Aro and/or Ace Spec Resources + Other Stuff!!
This list is for ALL people regardless of your identity. This blog is a safe space for all types of aro and/or ace spec people. Hate will NOT be tolerated. Questions are okay! :)
Also! I can't fit all the cool things I found on this list, so I'll make another one in the future! :)
Cool things!
Are You on the Aromantic Spectrum (quiz)?
Are You on the Asexual Spectrum (quiz)?
Aro Ace Character Database
Aro Arrows
Aro-Owned Businesses
Aro-Recommended
Asexual Pride Friendship Bracelet Tutorial
Attraction Layer Cake
Books With Asexual Main Characters
Canon Aroace Characters
Canon Aro and Ace Characters
Crochet Pride Turtle Modification Guide
Free Asexual Bee Crochet Pattern
Free Asexual Flag Cross Stitch Pattern Ace of Spades
Free/Online Aromantic & Asexual Fiction
LGBTQ+ Flags in Minecraft - Banner Tutorial
Pride Patch Tutorials
Learning and Resources!
7 Tips For Coming Out As Ace
Ace/Aro Mythbusting
Ace & Aro Spectrum Definitions
Advice on Coming Out As Aromantic
A Guide to Allo Aro Inclusion in A-Spec Communities
Am I Demisexual If...
Aromantic Info Carrd
Aromantic Spectrum Wiki Stub
Asexual Advice Tumblr
Asexual Affirmations: Things That Don't Make You Any Less Ace
Asexuality and Disability
Asexual Spectrum Wiki Stub
Ask An Aromantic Tumblr
Bi-Oriented Aroace Carrd
List of A-Spec Identities & Info
Myths About Demisexuals
Oriented and Angled Aroace Carrd
Split Attraction Model
Types of Tertiary Attraction
What Is Graysexuality?
Why I’m Founding Disabled Ace Day
Queering The Narrative: Tropes to Avoid When Writing Asexual Characters (intended for allosexuals, not asexual authors)
People's Stories!
An Interview About Allosexual Aromantics
Aro/Ace Confessions Tumblr
Aromantic Coming Out Stories
Asexual Authors Discuss Why They Write and Their Experiences
Asexual Coming Out Stories
Asexual Disabled People Exist, But Don’t Make Assumptions About Us
Asexuality Exists Tumblr
Existing and Defying Stereotypes As An A-Spec Disabled Person
Gray-Romantic, Grieving, and Dealing with More Internalized Amatonormativity than I Thought (tw: internalized arophobia, abuse)
How Asexual and Aromantic People Observe a Day Dedicated to Love
If You Can See the Invisible Elephant, Please Describe It
I'm Aromantic and Asexual - And I Love Valentine's Day
Is It Possible For Me To Be Lesbian and Aroace at the Same Time?
I’ve Realized I’m Asexual but Have Internalised Aphobia, So What Now? (tw: internalized acephobia)
Lesbian Ace and Aro Perspectives
‘Not Broken’: The Struggles of Being an Aromantic Allosexual
Three People Who Identify as Asexual and Aromantic Explain What V Day Is Like For Them
What Is It Like Being Allo Aro?
Communities!
Reddit
r/aaaaaaaarrrrro (memes)
r/aaaaaaacccccccce (memes)
r/aaaaaaaspeccccccc (memes)
r/aaabatterycult
r/aaapeople
r/aaarrroooaaaccceee
r/aarrrooooooaaacceeeee (memes)
r/aceandaroart (art)
r/acearoautistics
r/aceconfessions
r/acefood (food)
r/ace_arosover30
r/acesoftwaregeeks (programming)
r/aceteens
r/aegoromantic
r/aegosexuals
r/agenderaroace
r/allo_ace
r/amiace (ask)
r/angledaroace
r/animace (anime/manga)
r/apothiromantic
r/apothisexual
r/arcsexual
r/aroace
r/aroaceadults
r/aroacebooks (books)
r/aroacechristianity (christianity)
r/aroacecommunity
r/aroacenby
r/aroaceflux
r/aroaceindia (india)
r/aroacememes (memes)
r/aroacepoly
r/aroaceteens
r/aroallo
r/aroandacelife
r/aromantic
r/aromanticasexual
r/aromanticcirclejerk (satire)
r/asexual
r/asexualcirclejerk (satire)
r/asexualdating (dating)
r/asexualgamers (gaming)
r/asexualgaymen
r/asexualindians (india)
r/asexuality
r/asexuals_lesbians
r/asexualmen
r/asexuals_in_love
r/asexualteens
r/askallosexual (ask)
r/askaroace (ask)
r/askasexual (ask)
r/biorientedaroace
r/biroace
r/biromanticasexual
r/cupioromantic
r/cupiosexual
r/dateademi (dating)
r/demiromantic
r/demisexuality
r/faceoface (photos)
r/fictoromantic
r/fictosexual
r/fraysexual
r/graysexual
r/greyromantic
r/greysexuality
r/heteroromanticasexual
r/lithromanitc
r/lithrosexual
r/mildly_ace (photos)
r/myrsesexual
r/orientedaroace
r/panromanticasexuality
r/placiosexualityu
r/sexfavorableace
r/sexrepulsed
r/taskforcealphaalpha
r/traaaaaaarrrrrrro (memes)
r/transasexuals
r/tripleabattery
r/quiromantic
r/quiosexual
Forums
Arocalypse
The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network
Demi Grace
Organizations
Ace & Aros
The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project
Ace Week
Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week
Asexuality Archive
Asexual Outreach
The Association for Asexuals in Denmark
AUREA
Resources For Ace Survivors
Discord (I don’t used discord so I haven’t verified if these are any good, but I choose the most popular ones)
Ace Homies
Ace Planet
Acing the Arrows
The Aro & Ace Café
Bows & Aros
For Creatives (Artists, Writers, etc.)
Aromantic Writing Month
Carnival of Aces
Carnival of Aros
Arospec Poetry Network
Aro Worlds
Videos
Asexuality 101 (playlist) (Haven't watch all the vids yet, but the ones I've seen seem pretty good)
Ways to Show Your Aro and Ace Pride
Tumblrs
(If I should remove any of these, let me know)
Acespec-Ed
ActuallySafe-For-Aro
Aro Humor
Asexual-Society
Asexual Spectrum Spector
AVENPT (Asexual Visibility and Education Network Project Team)
Fuck Yeah Asexual
Growing Up Aro
Perks of Being Ace
The Humorous Ace
Your Fav Is Aromantic
Inclusive Picrews
Heart Hold Character
Legitimate ID Maker
Little Guy Maker
Opossum Party
PotatoLord’s Persona Creator
Prideful Cats
Pride Icon Maker
Wervty’s Obscured Icon Maker
If you have any other cool aro and/or ace things you’d like to share, please let me know and I’ll add it to the list! :) Also, if there's anything I should remove, let me know (and please tell me the reason why)!
I'm sorry but I feel like non-Australians just will not be able to 100% get Ca$h's character, like I don know if you can understand how impactful it is unless you know eshay culture and how harmful it is. Like I know Chooks, they went to my schools, they take my busses, literally every time I go outside I'm scared of them. Literally as I'm typing this there's a group of them on the bus behind me and it's making me anxious. Ca$h trying to tear himself away from his eshay group in order to protect his friend and safely be with his black nonbinary partner and their alt friend group is like. A massive deal I can't imagine the eshay types I've been close with ever doing that for me
Edit: Not to even MENTION having the eshay character be unapologetically queer and asexual like that is CRAZY. Like there's a reason Darren was so surprised if you're queer and an eshay most of the time you do NOT say it and to have it being portrayed so beautifully is. Gods.
do you have any tingler suggestions for an asexual and aromantic buckaroo?
YES BUD all preferred pounds are valid including NO POUND AT ALL and this is very important, as i am sure my aromantic and asexual buds know.
as a buckaroo who spends a lot of time fighting against gatekeeping i will use this as opportunity to say yet again ALL ARE WELCOME IN THE TINGLEVERSE ESPECIALLY MY ACE AND ARO BUCKAROOS.
in fact, after chucks upcoming horror novel CAMP DAMASCUS i have another horror novel coming out next year from same publisher called BURY YOUR GAYS (i am being secret about plot of for now but trust me tumblr buds will like this one) but one of the MAIN LEADS of 'bury your gays' is an asexual aromantic bud and she is such a fun character REALLY enjoyed writing her and i am excited for everyone to meet her.
ALRIGHT as far as tinglers go i have written MANY pound free books that you can enjoy, some are about an ace or aro way and some are about consent or saying NO THANKS BUD but they all do not have sex in them. the favorite of most buckaroos is probably ABSOLUTELY NO THOUGHTS OF POUNDING DURING MY FUN DAY WITH THIS KIND T-REX BECAUSE I'M AROMANTIC AND ASEXUAL AND THAT'S A WONDERFULLY VALID WAY OF PROVING LOVE IS REAL
if you are interested in whole collections there are paperbacks name of NOT POUNDED BY ANYTHING that you would probably enjoy. this series has three whole volumes just keep in mind not all characters in these bundle are ace and aro but MANY are. others just dont feel like a pound.
examples of stories that are more about consent and importance of HOLDING BOUNDARIES would be something like JUST KIND OF IGNORING THIS SAD LONESOME T-REX WHO IS SCREAMING "DEBATE ME" FROM HIS FOLDING CHAIR which is about how sometimes best way to deal with goofball conservative 'commentators' is just ignore their scoundrel whining as they moan their lonesome ways in the dark. so there are no pounds in that one just ignores. it is available as audiobook and so is ace aro story above too.
anyway buckaroo hope that helps. if you want to see full list you can look on chuck website and trot down to section of tinglers that says NO SEX
thank you for proving love is real in your own way i am SO GLAD our timelines have crossed it is an honor and i appreciate it very much. had fun time revisiting these books today and look forward to writing more for my asexual and aromantic buds. LOVE IS REAL