#Just. god. them

[squarebracketsmileyface]

Back at it again with a sad song to relate to these characters!!!!

This is so!!!! This is so Alex to Jay, or at least how he would want to be to him under better circumstances. Or at least that’s how I saw it.

https://youtu.be/R2zXxQHBpd8?si=-VKZo5PAshjGBfQM

Song is: will he by Joji

you're so right. This is so alex wishing he'd been able to be better to jay. (tho there's also an argument that jay also needed to be better to alex, and cos sorry its locked is all jays pov so far i haven't been able to show that he was also pretty bad for alex just like alex was bad for him. neither of them are the good guy, neither of them are purely a victim, neither of them are purely a 'villain' -can't think of the right word so villain will have to do-)

anyway, analysis thingy

I got knots all up in my chest (Up in my chest, up in my chest) Just know, I'm trying my best (I'm trying my best) 'Cause when you look (When you look) When you laugh (When you laugh) When you smile (When you smile) I'll bring you back (Bring you back) And now I'm sad (Now I'm sad) And I'm a mess (And I'm a mess) And now we high (Now we high) That's why I left (Why I left) That's why I left (Woo)

Pretty simple, just Alex thinking about Jay and how much he really did like him. But Alex was a mess and left Jay for Amy because he didn't know how to cope with his feelings (and with some other stuff I haven't written yet, but i'm ignoring that just so this song will fit with what's already actually out there for this fic)

Will your tongue still remember the taste of my lips? (My lips, my lips, my lips) Will your shadow remember the swing of my hips? (My hips, my hips, my hips) Will your lover caress you the way that I did? (I did, I did, I did) Will you notice my charm if he slips up one bit? (One bit)

Again, Alex thinking about Jay. But also, Alex realising that Tim and Jay are together now from watching the videos Jay uploads, he's watched them slowly get closer, and then one entry something changes and Alex knows that Jay has "moved on". Alex wonders whether Tim hold and kisses Jay the way he did that last night he and Jay were together, and he wonders if Jay thinks of him when Tim messes up. He calls it his 'charm' kinda sarcastically, because he's just kinda caught up in hating himself for what he had to do.

Because unlike in uni (their uni relationship was complicated, i promise I'll write it eventually, just know that Jay did some bad stuff just like Alex did), this time Alex was the only person in the wrong for hurting Jay like he did in chapter 2 of Sorry It's Locked.

'Cause I don't need to know I just wanna make sure you're okay (Okay) I don't need to know I just wanna make sure you're all safe All safe, all safe (woo)

Alex doesn't really want to know if he's left Jay with shit from everything that happened around entry 47 (in chapter 1 and 2), he doesn't want to confirm for himself that he hurt Jay so bad that he's been left with lasting emotional shit. He just wants to know that Jay's okay, that he's safe, but every entry Jay posts just confirms over and over again that Jay is not safe, every entry posted just reminds Alex that everything he did to try and drive Jay away and make him give up on finding out what's wrong with Alex and what's going on with the whole Operator thing.

Everything Alex did was for nothing. He hurt Jay for no reason, and sure, he couldn't have known it at the time, but in his little moments of clarity he realizes that he could have done something else. He could have talked to Jay, he could have asked for help, he could have explained what was going on. He didn't have to hurt him, but he did, and it didn't even achieve what he'd wanted it to. If anything, it just made everything worse because now Jay's got someone else involved.

Will he play you those songs just the way that I did? (I did, I did, I did) Will he play you so strong just the way that I did? (I did) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Will he treat you like shit just the way that I did? (I did, I did, I did) 'Cause I don't blame you

Again, Alex thinking about their relationship, both their uni relationship and their one night stand in chapter 1. He knows Tim and Jay are together now and he can't help wondering what their relationship is like, since they keep it completely off camera except for the odd hickey just barely peeping out from under a shirt collar etc.

He can't help almost hoping that Tim treats Jay like shit, and he hates himself for it, he just wishes he could have Jay for himself but he knows he can't. Do you know what I mean. Like, he doesn't actively wish harm on Jay, and he's constantly trying to think of ways to keep Jay safe and alive, but he also can't help feeling jealous of Tim and wishing he'd treat Jay badly so that Alex could swoop in and 'save' Jay. He knows if that happened though, and Jay would shy away from him too, he wouldn't go running into Alex's arms, he'd just be angry at and scared of both of them and would probably do something stupid and get himself killed.

'Cause I don't need to know I just want to make sure you're okay (Okay) I don't need to know I just want to make sure you're all safe

Same as before, in the end, Alex just wants Jay to be okay, he want's to make up for everything he's done by finding a way to make sure Jay lives, to make sure he doesn't have to kill him.

#Just. god. them #I both love and hate sorry it's locked so much. So fucking much. I need to give Jay and Alex a hug and then fucking yeet them at therapy #they need therapy #they're so fucked up and i love them #why did i do this to them? #marble hornets #jay merrick #tim wright #alex kralie #marble hornets fanfic #jaylex #mh sorry its locked #song ask #lyric analysis i guess #God they're my babies #i NEED to make Alex such a sympathetic character #you NEED to know that as much of a dick as he is. Jay was also shitty back in college and that lead to why their relationship is this way #and now in MH times alex isnt really able to think clearly. That doesnt make it better but it sure as hell explains his thinking #and makes it so you realise that he really is trying his best to save jay. he just goes about it the wrong way #and that's destroying him from the inside #God the plans I have for these fuckers

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Must be a Sugondese joke.

#dungeon meshi #chilchuck tims #laios touden #senshi #Looks like I won't be able to post this on dungeon meshi thursday so instead I will have a fun past/future conversation #This is wednesday me who has not seen the episode yet but I have such a strong feeling that it is going to be extremely special. #*This* fight is what the first arc has been building up to and it has *so* many incredible moments. #We're going to see the chilchuck knife throw! The leg sacrifice! The bones! #Watch them ramp up the quality this episode and go wild with the frantic action of 'oh god our plan is going to shit'. #Hello. Me of the future who just watched the episode. #I knew it was going to be good but that...that blew my mind completely. My high expectations were beyond met. My god. #I'm just speechless at how well they handled everything. The leg. The tension. That ENDING. #If you have not already: PLEASE watch Dungeon Meshi.

[payasita]

being a manager sucks balls half the time but the cashier kids im in charge of trust me enough to dick around in front of me so ive been keeping a running list of the shit they say that makes me laugh randomly: -"guys, is it cheating if you play fortnite with your ex" [4 seperate others, immediately]: "YES" -"there must be like… infinite sentences" -"bro what bro what the fuck bro what's that mean bro why'd you say that bro what" <distraught response to a girl randomly greeting him with 'hey there big boy' in an old timey transatlantic news reporter accent

#personal #text #gonna miss these kids lol #theres more i cant remember rn but i swear to god some of them do it just to make me crack up when im the only one in charge #infinite sentences kid and bro what the fuck kid are the same kid #he could not give less of a shit about this job it's so fucking funny

[kimdokjas]

though the movie might be cancelled, yuri on ice will live forever in our hearts. thank you yoi fandom, it's been real ♡

#yuri on ice #yoiedit #yoi #victuuri #ice adolescence #anime gif #*gifs #animangahive #dailyshounenai #userkarura #usergojoana #userhanyi #useralphonse #usertorichi #usermoonz #usericybtch #userheidi #usergokalp #userartless #homuras #himawaari #this is not goodbye this is still my house!!! #devastated but not surprised tbh but i still wanted to channel my emotions somehow and just. express how much this show means to me so here #this thank you goes out to u guys. the fandom #mappa can eat a brick btw <3 #god i wish i could articulate just how special yoi is to me #it truly resonated with me like very few other pieces of media have (i can count them with one hand in fact) #it was sooooo revolutionary and ahead of its time not just in terms of queerness but also in terms of mental health #it truly changed me as a person and i just. really appreciate how earnest and kind it was above all #thank you yoi. you will be a part of me forever <3

[theoldkyokodied]

The Allegiance of the Ascended Vampire and the New God of Magic

#bloodweave #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #gale x astarion #astarion x gale #gale dekarios #astarion ancunin #yes this is about astarion helping gale defeat mystra and take her place with the crown in exchange for gale helping him with the ritual #the ‘they can make each other worse’ part of their relationship turned to the max #I enjoy them being reluctantly soft for each other more but from time to time I just think about how powerful they could get together #toxic evil boyfriends. take love and twist it up until it’s unrecognisable #I like to think that astarion approached gale with that offer after realising no one else in camp is gonna help him #and that he can use gales own hunger for power which backfired when astarion actually became emotionally invested in gale #and after gale kept his word despite everyone’s concerns astarion changed his plan from not fullfilling his end of the bargain to actually #helping gale kill mystra (mostly so that gale could belong to him and him alone. and letting him take the place as a god bc having a god #at you beck and call is definitely appealing. especially one as eager to please as gale) #anyway what I want to say with this is please please please let me kill mystra i don’t even care if the weave gets destroyed again

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

so in an attempt to actually use positive thinking, anytime i fuck up and my brain reacts as if ive cause a minor apocalyptic event, i compare my fuck up to the 4 minute fuck up committed by the crew of the uss william d porter.

and only today, as i was having to explain what happened to my mom when i was explaining the whole comparison thing, did i realise that most people dont know about it and ive decided that needs to change because its objectively hilarious.

...which is a weird thing to say about an event that occured on a warship in 1943, specifically november 14th.

see the uss william d porter was a fletcher-class destroyer but you dont need to know what that means, just that she had guns that went bang bang and that she was escorting another ship, the uss iowa, to cairo.

while they were on their way there, they performed some gun trials like testing the anti-aircraft guns or the torpedos. and while they were running a torpedo drill, the crew of the porter managed to fire a live torpedo straight at the iowa which you know, in terms of a list of things to do while escorting a ship, shooting a torpedo at them is not on that list.

especially if the president of the united states is on board.

yeah so fdr was on board and the gun trials were actually his idea, and part of the trials was that they were conducted under radio silence.

and that means the crew of the porter couldnt just call the iowa to be like "move out the way, we accidentally shot a torpedo at you."

but they did have signal lamps and you know, the signalman on board was trained to signal this exact kind of message.

...and uh never mind, the signalman did manage to successfully tell the iowa that a torpedo was coming toward them but wasnt as successful when it came to the direction the torpedo was coming from.

not all hope is lost though because the signalman could still use the signal lamp to correct his previous mistake and-, never mind, he announced that the porter was reversing, which she wasnt.

yeah so at catastrophic mistake number 3, they broke radio silence to warn the iowa and she managed to turn out of the way just in time which meant no one got hurt. and even though the inquiry into the incident led to chief torpedoman (fantastic job title btw) lawton dawson being sentences to hard labour, fdr intervened and waved away his sentence, saying it was all an accident.

but yeah, so thats my new measure for "how much did i really fuck up?" and when i compared accidentally picking up a pencil case without a tag on it in wilko, turns out it was a very minor fuck-up. yes, the cashier had to ask another worker to grab a duplicate so they could scan the barcode, but i didnt nearly kill the president during wartime via accidental friendly fire

#kai rambles #so like #i enjoy ships and learning about them and looking at them but like #i dont really care for warships #i dont hate them viscerally like i do cruise ships but i never really care for them #apart from the ones that were just like either ridiculously designed like the hms captain or the vasa or the novgorod #or the ones where just insane shit happened like with the william d porter #like this isnt even the extent of the porters unfortunate incidents like shr was sank by a kamikaze attack that MISSED #but somehow ended up below the ship and exploded and just like yeeted the porter out of the water #william d porter #uss william d porter #ww2 #world war 2 #world war ii #warships #again warships are really not my thing but god some of them are so fucking funny #uss iowa #fdr #franklin d. roosevelt #this suddenly got so many notes in like less than 24 hours what the fuck #shipposting

[forgetful-nerd]

The real reason we’ll never get another Turtles Forever is because if these three met then they would absolutely destroy everything in their paths.

Also they’d verbally eradicate any villain’s self esteem in like 10 seconds.

#god I want a turtles forever 2 so badly #I’d kill to see this trio come about #I imagine them as that really catty group of girls that would just tear down everyone that crosses them #the frienemies relationship these three would have would give me life #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #tmnt 2003 #2012 raph #tmnt crossover #rise donnie #2003 mikey #2003 michelangelo #rise donatello #2003 tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #2012 raphael #raphael #tmnt donatello #donatello #michelangelo #mikey #raph #rottmnt donnie #donnie

[catmask]

with that said there are characters that a fat maybe not canonically but they are spiritually. to me. they may not be drawn that way but i know whats true. ive seen it like a sort of prophet

#serizawa. send post #he did NOT live his life as a shut in for almost a whole decade to be drawn SKINNY! not by me at least #also like so many characters over the age of 30. no more fit moms and dads GIVE them that divorce body fat NOW! #*strikes you down with the force of god* #but honestly alternative for serizawa that ive always liked is that he gains weight when he starts working for reigen #because he can now go out and eat new foods :D he has actually gained an appetite because he's moving around more #and isnt just eating like instant ramen or whatever his mom brings him #see how easy it is you can just believe it with your heart. you just have to find the ways to make true waht u know #scratchpost #txt

[hamletthedane]

Still laughing at Brian May offhandedly writing the greatest understatement in the history of academia in his astrophysics doctoral dissertation:

Ah, yes - “various pressures.” Like being one of the greatest guitarists ever and playing/writing/singing for the most legendary rock band of all time.

Those various pressures.

#queen #Brian May #just a rock and roll god and also an astrophysicist #it’s like Deacon casually inventing the technology for all modern bass stereos bc he was an electrical engineer #a side gig of being a genius #along with their friends ‘learned opera at 5yo and literally SAW music’ and ‘chaos tornado with a promising career in dentistry’ #Music #shut up e #these are twitter thoughts but twitter is dead so now I subject you all to them

[time-woods]

more of these dorks

#prismo the wishmaster #scarab the god auditor #fionna and cake #adventure time #fionna and cake spoilers #prohibitedwish #i believe thats their ship name #anyways accidental flirting with a weirdo bug #i have so many doodles of them from just today #im having to hold myself back rn

[stil-lindigo]

the fox god.

a comic about a trickster.

--

creative notes:

–

all my other comics

store

#cw: emotional abuse #cw: gaslighting #cw: animal death #charity - a god whose name was only ever meant to be ironic #i love playing with the concept of religion like this #im not religious at all but i did go to a christian school for twelve years #and i remember learning about the story of abraham. who long story short gets told by god to kill his son to prove his love for god. #and at the veeeery last minute god goes sike! this was a test to see if you'd do it! here's a lamb to slaughter instead #but the whole concept of that exchange in and of itself is so #anyway #one thing i meant to include in the creative notes but i ran out of room for is that charity never calls cunning by his name. #it's just “fox”. which was a small touch to indicate that he never acknowledged cunning's identity outside of being something exploitable. #but for all charity's hidden disdain for cunning #he still stole all his strengths and coveted them. he became known as the fox god. #so maybe some part of cunning survived. despite everything. #“give me your heart.” #“my god. it had always been yours.” #comic art #hearteaters #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics #one more comic to go until im finished with this collection!!

[wombywoo]

retired 🩶

#call of duty #cod #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #soapghost #my art #listen this took me like two weeks so y'all better appreciate 🤌 #johnny is the super active DIY father of the family #simon has made his way through all of the miss marple mysteries and has now set his sights on naval fiction #also growing his fringe out to hide the early onset baldness #johnny has gorgeous hair but we knew that #the dogs are called roger and wee albert--guess which is which #yes they all sleep in the same bed~ #I guess I just need to see these two old and cranky and alive for whatever reason... #let them both burn in hell after a few good decades learning how to live beyond just surviving #god they probably make a banger pot roast....

[nightmare-chaser]

Ive seen multiple posts from reddit refuges that go like "im queer and its so welcoming here!" Or "im nonbinary and dont get quized on my gender here!" Or "im autistic and i can be weird here and yall like it!" And its so fuckin cute its like yes hi hello welcome this is the gay ass autistic website we love special interests we love weird genders we love just saying random shit and the just happy surprised tone of those posts is so wholesome to me like yes! hi! you are in fact the target audience! welcome home

#196 #reddit blackout #theres also been multiple posts that compares them to endangered birds raised in captivity being released into the wild #and yeah i can see it #god but the joy in those posts at being met not just with welcoming arms but delighted ones #like yeah! you can say just random shit! we love thag here! #we dont just allow random special interedt rants we adore them we actively encourage them #theres posts about loving seeing your mutual flood your dash suddenly with some random thing and realising they have a new hyperfixation #its just really cute and sweet

[hiraeix]

to hold me like water,

or christ, hold me like a knife

#IS THIS TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR #PLS I JUST NEED THEM TO HUG LIKE THIS #anyways #good omens #good omens fanart #aziracrow #crowley #aziraphale #crowley fanart #aziraphale fanart #good omens spoilers #art #my art #SO MANY PEOPLE LIKE THIS OH MY GOD THANK U I DIDNT EXPECT THIS

[helcef]

many thoughts abt @mizushibart ’s metalhead/skater ghostsoap au

#call of duty #cod mwii #cod fanart #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #ghostsoap #soapghost #ghoap #call of duty modern warfare #modern warefare ii #simon riley #johnny soap mactavish #ghost x soap #soap x ghost #digital art #art #artists on tumblr #fanart #cerberulix art tag #theres so many tags for them my god #the au designs r just top tier

[jesse-is-inarguably-purple]

imagine ur garthy o’brien, just trying to fuck this hot ranger you met at your brothel that you own, except her teenage kids/wards/bosses keep knocking on the door to your bedroom and interrupting you guys and THEN you learn that she’s actually in a committed relationship but didn’t tell you, so THAT sucks but THEN one of the teens comes and finds you in the middle of the night yelling about how his friend is gone and they can’t find him and he might be in danger, so you help him teleport to his friend, and then when they all get back, looking extremely upset and dejected, you apologize to the ranger’s daughter for making her feel uncomfortable by fucking her mother and in the process SHE reveals to you that her mom’s boyfriend is actually this really cool werewolf guy that you KNOW and have fucked on multiple occasions

#and THEN first thing in the morning you find the goblin teen paralyzed in the courtyard #anyway im rewatching fhsy in preparation for junior year and WHAT a trip #the way garthy just casually refers to ayda as the librarian of the compass points library #THATS YOUR MOM/DAUGHTER #my HEART #also god i love sandra lynn so much #AND tracker #AND ragh #AND each and every one of the bad kids #missed them <3 <3 <3 #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high: sophmore year #fhsy #d20 fhsy #garthy obrien #original