#Not me writing a dissertation

[blasphemecel]

ngl still being a kaiser fan after 261 is lame

Omg this ask got me so tight when I got to it I had to hop on mylaptop to type my essay

Ok this is a little Personal and some of yall aren gonna fuck with me after this but it's ok . Kaiser is a character I identify with because he's a good portrayal of someone with NPD so WE WILL GET INTO IT!

So like that being said. What do you mean 'Still liking Kaiser after the leaks is lame' like genuinely what do you mean. I just woke up but are you guys like SURPRISED by this. I liked him when he was introduced and this is what he was acting like. There have been A HUNDRED more chapters of him acting the same way past introduction. And now he's still acting like it. I understand if you just hate him right off the bat that makes sense but this doesn't really. Even if you're one of those people who just liked him for the backstory reveal because you have a I Can Treat You Better hero complex re:abuse victims that behavior WAS shown EVEN IN 260. "I hit the ball but it doesn't hit back" - the author has a very specific way of writing and this was VERY much intentional

Also like I understand there might be an initial shock when reading such words. Like it's Unpleasant it's Ugly. But also it boils down to a State of mind which personally I've observed as common among victims of severe trauma. "These people are born 'humans'. Different from me, they were born 'wanted humans'." = I hate people who weren't hurt the same way I was because I am jealous and bitter, I'm so jealous and bitter it feels good to me to make others feel like shit. And I'm not trying to get on some Hurt People Hurt People bullshit because that shit is annoying and apologia but what I'm trying to say is that sometimes Trauma makes you unpleasant and ugly and erratic and I appreciate that Kaneshiro actually wrote it out. Also like that feeling by itself isn't inherently evil. I think it's a very natural response! In this case Kaiser goes too far not by experiencing this emotion but by acting on it.

So now with THAT out of the way too, I think we need to sit down and think more into the Ness situation. So first he says, "I can't accept kindness because all I know is malice. If anything I think malice makes life easier." Then he goes to say he is specifically looking for someone to make a "dog to his malice" and reads a psychology book to achieve that. Like first of all I'm sorry but that is so comically evil it's hilarious to me. He read a textbook to be a more efficient male manipulator. But anyway the way I understand that isn't a deep underlying evil within him but a need for control. I think he believes everyone will hurt and disorient him unless he feels like he's Controlling them. From an abusive household the only relationship dynamic he knows is person of authority - inferior party. His only friend is Ness and the only person he feels safe around being Ness is because of he tells himself Ness is his "dog" and therefore won't ever raise a hand to him. And that's because he thinks anyone who isn't his dog/under his control will do exactly that.

And so... If we go from there, from the parallel we understand Kaiser didn't see his meeting with Ness the same way Ness sees it. However, that doesn't mean Kaiser's view is the objective truth. I think they're both UNRELIABLE and EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE. So what that means is that Ness sees his time together with Kaiser through a more glorified lens, while Kaiser denies himself thinking of Ness as a companion because that puts him in a vulnerable spot, so to maintain his feeling of being in control he exerts distance and tells himself Heh we aren't actually friends because he doesn't even know that one time I giggled at him in the showers I was actually just manipulating him all along because I am sooo evil and untouchable 😏. Like do we actually take this perception at face value here because to me it just seems like a Scared and Cowardly person trying to act out his idea of a strong person because the ONLY other time he's been in any meaningful proximity to someone he got beat up and degraded.

With that I also think Kaiser is very much narcissist posturing. He'slying to himself to make himself seem invulnerable and self-aggrandizing himself through his malice (I think pretending we are 100% evil and irredeemable makes a lot of us feel safe because it seems inhuman and people are easily hurt so you don't Ever want to be a multidimensional person with layered personality traits). Because like if you think about it without the emotional reaction of "I hope Ness kills you you stupid whore" that we all have... He actually isn't doing anything that big. Like in his head he's like Heh I'm soooo Patrick Bateman I have all the control 😏 but all he did was like find a guy to play football with.

Like he's trying to say to himself that he's all that. Sure he does insult Ness and that's not good! But he didn't pull off some Complicated deeply horrific scheme. I do not believe Kaiser has an objective view of himself. It really takes away the power from all of that when you realize what he's doing is just Very Pathetic and Paranoid and Intimacy Averse. "I can't have normal friends let me get this guy in on my master servant roleplay and I'll act like he's not enjoying it too because it'll make me feel more powerful" Men will do anything but go to counseling

Addendum: This is also not Kaiser. Now I don't know what kind of person Kaiser is but considering I read it as him suffering from NPD/a disordered personality that means he doesn't have a "real" identity most of the time, this is a shell we're seeing. He just has a mask maybe there's something underneath maybe there isn't and he's empty inside, but the point is he is the kind of character who has a specific way they want to portray themselves and will lie to both themselves and the audience to achieve it. Yes I believe that includes the I'm a male manipulator evilest person alive 😏 shtick too (I think the actual truth is probably somewhere in the middle of his and Ness's view. Most likely they're both incorrect).

Notice how Barou and Rin overcame things? That is because they have a real ego. Kaiser doesn't have a "real ego"/sense of self right now, all he has is his selfish act. I believe that is intentional because I think the Blue Lock mangaka shows a good grasp and understanding of psychology. The development is pointing towards him actually getting one during this match we'll see. Hey he might even change and grow as a person if that happens but I wouldn't get too overly optimistic!

Also we need to understand that we only see these people playing football we don't know what the fuck he's like outside of that. I currently don't have any reason to believe he's anything beyond rude and insufferable when like talking to people who aren't his football rivals and in Blue Lock on principle I believe everyone is at least 30% a better more bearable person off the field.

And to finish off my demented rant some of yall are fucking HYPOCRITICAL. So when Isagi takes joy in ruining people's dreams it's fine but when Kaiser does it he needs to kill himself? Let's be very serious.

TL;DR Kaiser's behavior makes total sense, his 261 characterization falls in line with everything we've seen of him before so there's no need for shock, and he looked good being dysfunctional and messed up too

#Not me writing a dissertation

[inkskinned]

please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!

do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!

#i am so sick of writers having to anticipate the most boring #bad-faith readings of their work. i am like - if you use cheese as a currency #okay! as long as the world makes sense to me: cool. cheese tax. moving on. #my job as the reader is to suspend my disbelief and say i am so sick of like #fanfiction authors having to write dissertations #because they had an interesting idea they'd like to try out!!! #just write it! if it doesn't make sense that's someone else's problem!!! #PS OP is autistic. yes sometimes i take things literally at first glance. then i think about it lol #this is so clearly not about accessibility etc. it's about like. girl even i an autistic person #am able to understand ''they probably didn't mean his eyes darkened LITERALLY''

[regulusrules]

To AJ Barner who wrote an entire PhD dissertation about fanfiction:

if you are here on tumblr, please i just want to talk (AND YOUR AO3 ACCOUNT)

From: "I Opened a Book and in I Strode": Fanfiction and Imaginative Reading

Edit: check the reblogs to see the series of me trying to find the fic

#FINALLY THE ACADEMIA WE DESERVE #THAT'S what academia is for #THAT'S how we contribute #and with fic writing too #god let me find them pls pls #merlin #bbc merlin #merlin fic #ao3 #phd dissertation

[frostbeees]

Behind the Battle 2023-24, Episode 5: The Process

#dont mind me writing an entire dissertation on these handful of seconds #adam fantilli #luca fantilli #gavin brindley #patrik laine #umich hockey #cbj #jessgifs #btb

[mearcatsreturns]

I have a bookstagram, and I recently followed someone because they posted about the overconsumption issue that most bookish social media seems to have. Today, though, they posted another controversial "opinion": that listening to audiobooks isn't reading, and people who claim to have read a bunch of books that they listened to as audiobooks are lying and/or deluded. Listening to audiobooks, she said, is just consuming books.

I disagreed in a fairly politely worded reply, and I intend to unfollow/block, because I find it unlikely this person will change their mind, especially since I'm far from the only person to point out that this is exclusionary and ableist. But this is tumblr/my house, and now I'm going to be as blunt as I want to be.

I'm a librarian and archivist. So much of the work I and others in my field do focuses on making books and reading more accessible and less exclusionary. It is, in fact, incredibly ableist to negate how important audiobooks are for people who have certain disabilities or challenges, and I would in no universe say they aren’t reading. For that matter, a busy person who only has time for audiobooks and for people who just prefer them--it still counts, as far as I'm concerned.

See, there's a difference between an audiobook and a podcast or long song or radio program. An audiobook is still a book--it was written with a particular narrative structure, and the author plays a defined but limited role (once the book is written, it's written; the author isn't tuning in next episode with comments and corrections based on what listeners said). An audiobook is a book, ergo, listening to one is reading. Using braille is reading, and listening to audiobooks is reading.

The part that has me in full Captain Raymond Holt "apparently that is a trigger for me" mode is that this bookstagrammer called listening to audiobooks consumption. In the context of her other posts about overconsumption as an issue in the bookish community (again, agree, but also...mind your own business), this seems particularly insidious to me. Conflating influencer-driven (and capitalist hellscape) consumption with listening to an audiobook (again, a massive boon for the visually impaired and those with disabilities like ADHD, dyslexia, etc.) is rude at best and dangerously exclusionary at worst. Stop letting comparison be the thief of joy; mind your own business and stop looking at the pages that bother you. Focus on the kindness of leaning towards inclusion, meeting people where they are, and leaving judgment behind.*

*This person also said "feel free to comment if you disagree but please don't be mean or judgmental," as if they hadn't just posted the most ableist and judgmental sludge I've seen today.

tl;dr: don’t be a gatekeeping shithead, mind your own business, and

(gif by matalyn on tenor, couldn't find on tumblr)

#books #bookstagram #reading #bookish culture #audiobooks #inclusivity #i am honestly so brave for not arguing with more people #I didn't become a lawyer because I didn't want to monetize my number one hobby (arguing) #this person says they're getting a PhD and writing a dissertation on publishing #so I worry that people will lend their posts a certain weight they don't deserve #so here I am: I've literally taken graduate courses in the history of books and the text as a concept. #i specialized in that. it's what I intend to get a PhD in if I decide I'm insane enough to go back to grad school #anyway trust me bro (gender neutral) #(i won't die on ANY hill but i sure will on a whole lot)

[cannivalisms]

the opening to my dissertation (it is meant to count for 90% of my grade)

#getting a little silly wiv it #original writing #writeblr #the oresteia #mythology #notnow #she writes #<- tags mainly for my reference #the dissertation is structured in two acts: elektra/pylades' wedding night and orestes/hermione's. the order is interchangeable #im. having a good time with her but shes also meant to be 12k words and due next thursday so you know. #the silliness is being strained out of me with associated sweat and tears

[marshmelonlover]

One of my favourite parts of "Persuasion" is when Frederick says to Anne "You did not use to like cards; but time makes many changes." and then she responds "I am not yet so much changed." and then he says "It is a period, indeed! Eight years and a half is a period!" because this is such an important part of the book. It's when they both truly realise that neither of them is the same as they were 8 years ago. They're not 19 and 23 anymore, but 27 and 31. They both have scars and are more mature with a better understanding of the world and, more importantly, each other. And all part of each of them wants to do is go back to the beginning and rewrite the story from the start so they aren't separated and have to go through over eight years of emotional agony, but they can't, so they have to write a new ending. And they do.

#persuasion #jane austen #anne elliot #frederick wentworth #isla talks #this is the result of my dissertation writing. my brain is FLYING with thoughts and ya girl can barely keep up #like? #I LOVE THIS BOOK SO FUCKING MUCH #just... the ✨yearning✨ and the allusion and the hidden meanings of everything and the SYMBOLISM #i'm going insane over here #this dissertation is making me go crazy in so many ways i can't even describe it #but also thank you jane for this piece of art because you're a gift and i love you ❤️

[mindofserenity]

I don’t think there is anything more heartbreaking than watching freedom and peace being taken away in the most inhumane and barbaric way to those who, to the very least, deserve it. This feeling did not change in the years becoming aware of what is happening to Palestinians and my hope for humanity is slowly dissolving into bitterness. This is the cruelty of being empathetic watching terror unfold.

But what I find most comforting are the promises that keep me going:

وَلَا تَحْسَبَنَّ ٱللَّهَ غَـٰفِلًا عَمَّا يَعْمَلُ ٱلظَّـٰلِمُونَ ۚ إِنَّمَا يُؤَخِّرُهُمْ لِيَوْمٍۢ تَشْخَصُ فِيهِ ٱلْأَبْصَـٰرُ ٤٢

Do not think ˹O Prophet˺ that Allah is unaware of what the wrongdoers do. He only delays them until a Day when ˹their˺ eyes will stare in horror—

Qur’an 14:42

وَسَيَعْلَمُ الَّذِينَ ظَلَمُوا أَيَّ مُنقَلَبٍ يَنقَلِبُونَ

And the wrongdoers will soon know at what final place they will end up.

(Sūrat al-Shu‘arā, No 26, Āyat 227)

#mindofserenity #I remember writing about this conflict when I was a student for my dissertation and the compassion I carried remains with me to this day. #It can be draining to have an empathetic heart. #freedomisntfree #palestine

[harbingersecho]

I don't feel pain I never escape I'm under the bed I'm licking the floor

#mysmes #mystic messenger #mysme #mysme unknown #mysme saeran #saeran choi #mine #*24 #art #unknown #this song is literally called weakling. sooo saeran coded. #half of this was just me trying to get the skin indents from gripping his bicep right. and its still not that good but i tried #whatever i miss this cunt.this fucker was everything to me in 2016-2018 you dont understand. teenage me 🫂 saeran #dont talk to me abt his route i have many conlicting feelings abt it. but i will say his overall portrayal was better in v's route than his #except near the end but even the conclusion to that was like. hm. he just wakes up and is fine. ok. #also why the split personality. bpd saeran was amazing that was even his VA's hc for him in SE. ok i said i wasnt gonna talk abt it IM NOT #... i just think they made him a less interesting ch in his route by splitting him up to a 'good'/'bad' side. like ray WAS manipulative #he's complex! he has a skewed world view + morals and a fucked up sense of self and major black and white thinking #ohh my god im not doing this again im not writing a dissertion in tumblr tags again. its an otome game with a nonsensical timeline

[ensigntilly]

culmets officially confirmed to be married in star trek discovery s5 i just collapsed onto the floor

#my post #star trek discovery #star trek discovery spoilers #culmets #i knowww it was vaguely hinted at in s2 but i wanted something more concrete #its actually embarrassing how happy this has made me likeeee i had to pause the episode to process #I've waited 7 years to hear anthony rapp say one fucking line and now i can die happy #anyway unfortunately i have to pause watching the rest of the episode to go write my dissertation lmao #i got like 30 minutes into the episode before the academic anxiety of doing Nothing hit me

[drawsmaddy]

[ID: A digital illustration of Klavier Gavin from Ace Attorney. He is his 17 year old self with short hair and a dark outfit. He is sat on the floor with his right hand on his left leg and his right hand pushing up his sunglasses as he winks, looking up at the viewer. Behind him is a gradient purple to pink background. End description.]

Mr. Affected Europop Accent 💜

#klavier gavin #my art #ace attorney #the 7 years ago look was truly an incredible one #okay i managed to gather a few free hours to finish this but now it's back to dissertation writing hell for me <3

[cherrysha]

Thinking abt how all sex with Phinks is passionate. He’s not the type of guy to put his feelings into words, thinks his actions should speak for him. So he never quite tells you that he loves you, just hints at it with the way his tongue delves into your heat, how he eats you out with reverence; a supplicant kneeling between the altar of your thighs come to worship.

And he’s never gentle, well, maybe in his own way, but the urge to devour you, to consume you whole until you become one, is carnal in nature. He can’t help but be overwhelmed by you, by words he can’t say, until the only thing he can do is trust his instincts.

#half baked thoughts w Sha #I could write a dissertation on Phinks #he’s tsundere to me #sha speaks #phinks x reader

[sexy-sapphic-sorcerer]

I just need to inform you nerds about absolute madlad academic Joseph Brennan

most notably, he wrote a paper about a queer reading of Mordred in BBC Merlin which heavily cites his own (poorly photoshopped) pornographic slash manips

but he also edited a whole book about queerbaiting, including chapters about: Supernatural, Xena Warrior Princess, One Direction RPF, Supergirl, and the fucking Johnlock Conspiracy

all the rest of his work is about gay porn

I fucking love academia

#he has a phd in the same field I'm studying (media and communications studies). truly an inspiration #at xmas my aunt asked me 'are you going to do a phd in media? what would you do with that' I could write about gay fanfic fuck u aunt moira #although I have been talked out of writing my dissertation about arthurian legend as fandom. very sad #bbc merlin #merlin #I'll tag the other fandoms and ships mentioned. you can't read the articles without paying for it but might be interested to know it exists #supernatural #destiel #wincest #xena warrior princess #one direction #larry stylinson #supergirl #supercorp #sherlock #johnlock #tjlc #merdred

[sacramentallyinsane]

idw taraprowl x nbc hannigram: cinematic parallels

#this is a bit niche but i can explain #for now you must trust me #clinically insane “monster” with freakish hobbies and their corrupted/morally gray “do it for the cause” bfs! #oh and ​there’s a wild amount of gaslighting-manipulation-toxicity #not to mention their surrogate children #no kidding i could write a dissertation on this #idw transformers #idw tarantulas #idw prowl #taraprowl #idw springer #nbc hannibal #hannibal lecter #will graham #hannigram #abigail hobbs #parallels #mzc.rb

[astralzeraphias]

#megawarp #megatron #skywarp #maccadam #transformers #writing my megawarp dissertation like . please someone ….. think abt them with me… #these are not intended to all be set in idw btw i just thought it was funny #imagine if i drew tfs consistently. lmao. what if #weird colors and 30 million filters bc . im gonna be honest #after working on this for like 3 weeks i am now bored with it & need to do something else #however if i do something else i Know i will never get this oke done #so weird color time #one of those cases where i prefer the sketch over the finished vers. oh well! #also the bottom left comic is based on that one time he out skywarp in charge over both thunder & screamer #bc thunder & screamer were both being annoying

[goldfyshie927]

We need more rep for trans characters who don’t have top or bottom dysphoria so trans people can stop feeling like there’s something wrong with themselves or invalidating themselves when they don’t struggle with those feelings!!! Please let’s stop pretending that everyone must be dysphoric to be trans!!! Let everyone see themselves in art and fiction!

#I’m here for all the rep but spending so much time in spaces where people mainly experience dysphoria #and then gatekeeper those feelings as The True Trans Experience #makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me #it’s exhausting #also I know this is a very simplified take and lacks a lot of nuance #so sue me! #I’m not going to write a dissertation on this at 8 am #I’m talking about My Experience #every trans experience is real and valid and important #including the ones where they’re perfectly fine with their bodies as they are! #you can fuck right off if you disagree