So, I just watched a censored cut of The Suicide Squad (2021) on a plane...
Let me tell you, it was one of the weirdest movie-watching experiences of my life. All the intense gore and violence was kept, but all the swearing was re-dubbed over by the original cast and the mild nudity was cut, which really makes me wonder who the heck this version of the film was even for?? What kind of person can watch people get blown up into bloody chunks but can’t handle the word “bastard”??
Here are some of the highlights from the censored cut that I thought were the most amusing. Again, reminder that the original actors all ADR’d over the swears with new dialogue.
· Harley’s “What the FUCK??” at TDK was changed to “What is THAT??”
· Bloodsport and Tyla’s “FUCK YOU!!”s were changed to “FORGET YOU!!” like Ceelo Green.
· More F-Bombs from Bloodsport were cut, leading to “I’m no (fighting) leader!!” and “You’re threatening my (teenage) daughter!!”
· Calendar Man’s insult to Polkadot Man was changed from “You fucking pussy!!” to “You flaming sissy!!”
· Peacemaker: “Starfish is a slang term for (an anus).” How is that any better than saying “butthole”??
· The entire exchange about dicks on the beach was changed to be about bricks instead, as was any future usage of the word “dick”. “If this whole beach was covered in (bricks), and someone said I had to eat every single (brick) on the beach for liberty, I would say no problem-o.” “Why would someone put (bricks) all over the beach??”
· Ratcatcher 2’s “You bastard!” was changed to “You bad fish!!”
· The entire “Well that’s just racist” exchange was cut.
· Bloodsport: “Why the (blood) would I want a leaf?!”
· Peacemaker’s jerking off taunt was cut. Characters still flip each other off in this cut though.
· Flag and Harley get to say “freaking”, so I don’t understand why it wasn’t used as a blanket censor for the f word instead.
· Harley’s “RIP to that absolutely beautiful monster between your legs” was kept in.
· King Shark’s “FUCK!!” was changed to “Pfflegh!”
· Bloodsport saying “Pissmaker” was kept
· Ratcatcher 2: “Do you want a dozen angry rodents crawling up your (pants)??”
· The 69 joke was kept
· Peacemaker: “MOTHER(TRUCKER)!!”
· Bloodsport’s “Jesus Christ…” was changed to “Holy Moses…”
· Flag’s “Who ate all the empanadas?” has the f word cut and sounds weirdly friendlier in the take they used.
· Harley: “I love the rain~ It’s like angels are (spitting) all over us~!”
· I swear Thinker’s “Sonofabit-!” when he’s getting slammed in the retinal scanner was changed to “Sonofawit-!”
· Thinker: “AMERICAN (GOOD OL’) ASTRONAUTS FOUND STARRO! YANKEE (****) DOODLE DANDIES!!”
· Flag’s “It’s time these sonsofbitches need to be held accountable-!” was changed to “It’s time these (stinkers) need to be held accountable-!”
· Polkadot Man’s “FUCK!!” in response to the others forgetting Milton was changed to “FUDGE!!”
· One of the Corto Maltese generals shouting “Puta!!” was changed to “Nunca!!”
· Economos: “WE’VE GOT A (FREAKING) KAIJU UP (ON) THIS (SCREEN)!!”
· Waller’s whole rant at the squad was censored, so it was hilarious to hear Viola Davis scream the absolutely neutered “FILTH!! TURN AROUND, GOSHDAMMIT! YOU STUPID IDIOTS! LOSERS!! DAMN IT, TASK FORCE X! THIS IS YOUR LAST AND FINAL WARNING!!”
· Flo: “GET ON THE SATELLITE, DALE YOU (FLAMING MEATHEAD)!!”
· And lastly, my personal favorite censorship, only because it actually fits thematically, comes from Polkadot Man’s last words: “I’M A MOTHER(-FIGHTING) SUPERHERO-!!”
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RH: Prometheus, Jason and his main friend group growing up (+ Batman for scale) - first Jay and his childhood best friends Alan & Dana + Cleo who he met as Robin and introduced to the others (~15 years old), then Jay when he was first taken in by the League of Assassins after his resurrection and introduced to Talia’s own “Robin” of sorts Kieran (who he later became properly friends with but initially was mostly his gentle but exasperated minder while he was in his semi-catatonic combat vegetable state) (~16 years old), then the crew during the present day of the story (~21 years old)
(specific character order: 1st image: Cleo, Jason, Alan, Dana (+Batman); 2nd image: Jason, Kieran (+Batman); 3rd image: Cleo, Kieran, Jason, Alan, Dana (…+Batman))
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Cleo Cazo (Ratcatcher 2) X reader please.
Dubois: alright we’re all going to split off and cover more-
Cleo jumps on Y/N’s back…
Cleo: I stay with Y/N
Dubois: but the team has to-
Cleo: no. I am staying with them
Cleo whines…
Y/N: you heard the lady, Bloodsport.
Sebastian the rat squeaks in agreement…
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