#So like i understand isolating and not wanting to see your usual friends and i dont want to intrude on the family

[freebooter4ever]

.

#So the thing i havent been talking about thats been happening since around christmas #My friends ex significant other is dying of cancer #As in like they discovered it too late and too spread throughout the body to do anything #They were given weeks to live #So during these holidays the artists house has been full of a constant stream of relatives and loved ones of the person dying #As a sort of home base to stay at while visiting the hospice down south #I havent seen my friend or buddy in weeks #And my friend isnt talking about any of it not because its like secret or anything but because they just dont want to #They have only insinuated that the person passed away last week and the family is all gone now #I dont know what to do to help im at a total loss #I know how insane i was going when grandpa was in the hospital #The only person i called on a regular basis was nick because he had been through similar #So like i understand isolating and not wanting to see your usual friends and i dont want to intrude on the family #But ugh #I wish i could like...cook something? Bring food over? But that doesnt seem like a good idea #To experiment with cooking and bring over something that isnt good :/ #I keep offering to go on walks to drive places to walk buddy but so far they havent wanted anything #I dont know :( i also dont know the person who died so its not like grief or anything

[bluecollarmcandtf]

Cash Slave, reporting in...

Good morning, master. State Trooper Hernandez reporting!

I hope you're doing well since the last time we saw each other. Again, I can't apologize enough for pulling you over on the highway. I had no idea you were such an amazing hypnotist. Thank you again for letting me get off easy and only making me taze myself twice! I was paralyzed in that muddy ditch for awhile, but you could've given me a helluva worse punishment!

Your instructions aren't negotiable, so I made sure to snap a photo before I started my shift today. As you suggested, I've been eating a box of donuts every morning, and I've packed on a hefty 30 lbs since I've started. My wife has complained, but I know you want me to look more like a cliche of law enforcement!

I'll stop by your house to drop off my paycheck tonight after work. I won't forget to pick up some pizza for you and your friends on the way: extra sausage, just like you said!

See you tonight, master!

Hello sir.

It's been a week since you came into my shop, and I've followed everything you said. I didn't agree with it at first, but you convinced me with that little pendant.

You were right! I really am beneath powerful men like you. Filthy blue-collar workers aren't worthy to lick the dirt off your shoes. You were right to point that out, and you were right to tell me to embrace it. When the world looks at me, they shouldn't see a man. They should see a grease monkey at the bottom of society.

That's why I haven't showered or changed in seven days. My BO is uncomfortable to work in, but I know it's just a reminder of what I am. I used to be proud of my job. Ha! I used to look down on suits like you, but I'm nothing in comparison; just a tool at your disposal.

Anyways, I cleaned and waxed your old car as fast as I could. I know I lent you my convertible, but you're welcome to keep it. I put a lot of sweat and blood in fixing her up, but like you said, fancy cars are meant for you to drive and me to maintain.

Stop back in my garage anytime. White-collar men like you get free service here! It's not the place of any lowly laborer to get in the way of what you want.

Thank you again, sir.

Hello boss.

Just started another long day of window washing! It's another hot one, but I'll keep my head down and sweat through it like usual.

I've gotta say, it's days like this that make me miss the comforts of my old corporate desk job. I'd kill for some AC right now, but I remember how much you made me realize I hated that career. Like you said, I'm much better suited to a life of mindless cleaning.

It turns out you're the real one with a knack for business strategy because all of your advice has been genius! The income is dependent on the hours I put in, and since I'm working for half the price of all competitors, I've gotten a monopoly on the market! I've fully booked all seven days for the next five or so weeks, so I'll be washing windows non-stop!

The business is already booming! I've been billing customers to your bank account, so you should already see all the profit in there!

Later today, I'll make a note of the minimum I need to replenish the cleaning supplies I'm running through. I'd also be grateful if you loaned me a bit for personal use, but it's understandable if you can't spare any! We agreed that I wasn't working for a salary, and I'm fine with that! I've been sleeping in the company van the last few weeks and it's more than good enough for me!

Don't worry, boss. I'll get back to work!

Tell my wife hello for me, master!

Working on a rig has been isolating. The job is brutal, the days are long, and every night I head back to our bunks covered in oil. I thought I'd at least get to bond with the other guys, but most of us are too tired to do anything but eat and sleep after our shift.

The only thing that's getting me through it is thinking about you. I know I also have a girl at home, but you were the one that gave my life purpose. I was never going to make money as an actor, and you helped me see that! You were the one that convinced me to go for this ridiculous job in the middle of the ocean, and now I'm making a ton of money!

You deserve it all.

I wouldn't have seen any of this cash if I hadn't stuck around after your stage hypnosis show. I still remember the wild look in your eyes when you came up with this idea for me. I also remember that hungry look you had when you saw my wife. It was impossible to say no.

Oh, and thanks for keeping my wife company while I'm gone. A man like you deserves her attention more than I do. Like you said, I doubt I was pleasing her to begin with. The only thing I'm good for is earning money, and I hope you're enjoying it because it sure isn't easy to earn!

I gotta get back, but I wanted to let you know that I signed up for another six months like you suggested. It's lonely, but I'm happy to do it, master!

Son, or should I still call you 'sir'?

I'm not sure if I your new title applies through text as well? Being your dad and your servant can be a bit confusing, but I don't mean disrespect you! Just let me know.

My workout is done and I'm headed back to your house. I signed the deed over to you this morning, so you officially own it now! Like usual, I'll clean the place from top to bottom. I've got all the mops and cleaning supplies in my van and ready to go. Since it's Friday, I'll start on the weekly yard work; mowing, weeding, etc... I don't want to bore you with the details, but it'll take the majority of the day to keep your place in tip top shape!

As I understand it, you are having friends over tonight, so I'll prepare a three course meal for eight. I ironed my apron this morning so I should look like a more presentable waiter than last night when I served your food!

As always, please let me know if there's any other way I can be of service today or tonight.

I'll be awaiting your return, sir.

Hey little bro,

I just finished my workout at the gym with dad. We're both hitting PRs and we're really starting to see some results! Still can't believe you hypnotized his dumb ass to think he's your butler! That man looks so stupid changing from gym clothes into a bowtie and gloves. He's constantly calling you 'sir' too, even when you're not around.

He's such an idiot.

Anyways, I'm all dressed and ready for my new job. You were totally right. I'm going to be so much happier as a clown instead of a wrestler. I'm about to head out to my first gig; a ten year old's birthday party. I think he's the kid of someone I used to compete with. It might be a little awkward, but it won't affect my routine. I've got an afternoon of pies in the face and self-deprecating humor ahead of me.

I made sure to tell the guy who hired me that I'm willing to stay after and clean up. Kids make a huge mess after all. I just hope he won't be too weird about me being a clown at his son's party. We may have been rivals in the past, but that was back when I wrestled. Now I'm just a joke for hire. He's technically my boss for the day, so I'll have to get used to taking orders from him.

Wish me luck, bro. I'll give you the money after the dad dismisses me. Let's hope I make a good clown!

#mind control #gay hypnosis #hypno story #gay ai art #hypnotized #servant

[heesdreamer]

ECHOES OF RIOT

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader

SUMMARY ➩ falling inlove with a rockstar is never easy, especially when he returns to your hometown on a successful tour three years after you lost contact

WARNINGS ➩ this is like straight up angst… romance but mostly angst lol.. drug use, some violence, idk can’t really remember this is ridiculously long

WC ➩ 19.1k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ well this took me forever lol.. i don’t have much to say i just hope you like it. NOT PROOFREAD normally written at 4am lol the usual.. also side note one of the main characters was chaeyoung and i changed her to heejin for obvious reasons so if you see any of her name left over that’s my mistake and that’s why.

You weren’t exactly sure how you ended up like you did, so meek and quiet to the point that it was an actual hinderance on your daily activities.

If you were born like that, just one of those kids that was too shy to talk to their classmates and hid behind their moms legs on the first day of school, you’d completely understand but you’d actually been nearly the opposite for your entire life.

Maybe it was an accumulation of always feeling like you were taking up too much space, being on the receiving end of quick glares from teachers when you lacked volume control or seeing the hesitance on your friends parents faces when they excitedly asked if you could come over for a sleepover. Mixed with your own sudden self awareness going into high school.

You quickly realized that it wasn’t the loud girls getting asked out on dates and it was an almost immediately decline into self intrusion once you made this discovery.

It wasn’t like you necessarily wanted to be asked out by anybody, physically recoiling as your friends gossiped about the mass appointed hottest guys at your school and turning up your nose when they made sleazy attempts to flirt and court the other girls around you, but it felt embarrassing to be constantly left out of romantic group hangouts or discussions about experiences you’d never had.

Still, you had managed to keep a solid group of friends despite your newfound habit of self isolating and they only halfway judged you for your tendency to stay in on the weekends.

On the other half however, they weren’t so forgiving, hence why you were currently stood outside a low scale concert venue shivering so hard you were worried you’d chip a tooth. You were pulling your zip up hoodie tighter around your body and sending glares to your friends who were chatting animatedly about the band they were going to see.

Apparently it was composed of some boys around your age, not attending your school but well known enough that they had been invited to some of your friends parties and events and eventually your friend group had been given tickets to one of their shows.

You weren’t the biggest fan of crowds in general but especially concert goers and you’d been promised that this one would be chill and relaxing, something you automatically knew was a lie the second you left the cab and saw the attire of everybody around you. The line was buzzing with energy and adrenaline and you could hear the acts doing soundcheck from inside, music loud and heavy.

It was freezing and as much as you were dreading being pushed into a crowd with jabbing elbows and sweat rolling off their skin onto yours, you were ready to get out of the line as more and more snow kept falling down onto the uncaring crowd.

“Aren’t you excited?” Your head was turning at the sound of a soft voice coming from your right and you smiled softly at one of your calmer friends.

“Sure Sunoo. It’ll be fun.” You were replying quickly, not needing them to feel awkward or guilty about bringing you just because you didn’t necessarily want to come. You figured he could tell you were lying by the pity filled look he gave you but he didn’t call you out for it.

He didn’t say anything else for a second and he didn’t get a chance before the doors were opening and the line was surging forward, already getting your tickets checked while you waited and turning into a blob of people and excitement all trying to squeeze into the single door.

You were groaning softly at the feeling of being jostled around but you couldn’t help but laugh at the fact all of your friends were linking arms and declaring to stay together, slightly envious of the pure delight on their faces whilst your heart was starting to ache from the anxious way it was pounding. You let yourself be dragged through the crowd by them, closing your eyes for a second when you pushed through the tightest areas and just allowing them to guide you through it.

The venue was more so just a bar with a small stage but your friends had told you that these were the best types of places to see a show at, intimate and ear shattering loud.

They’d said the last half with an enthusiastic giggle but you had winced softly at the image of how close you’d be to the large speakers that you now saw adorning the stage. It was dark in the building and your shoes were sticking to the floor beneath you, lights turned a deep glowing green and something more casual playing over the speakers to fill the silence.

You’d followed behind them as they found a spot near the bar, safely tucked away from the crowd and planning to wait out the opening acts here to preserve their energy. They all agreed to push into the crowd once the main band came out and try to get as close as they possibly could, looking over at you for acceptance and all smiling and patting your back when you gave a sheepish nod.

It wasn’t that bad and you were quickly getting used to it, the thick cloud of cigarette smoke settling over you and only making you slightly dizzy now.

You felt a bit embarrassed and out of place but everybody else was too excited or drunk to notice that you weren’t exactly in the most appropriate attire. Sunoo had shot you a questioning glance when you’d gotten into the shared cab but you only just now realized you weren’t fitting in with the rest of the crowd or your friends even slightly.

The difference between you and them was even more evident when the owner of the bar was stepping onto stage and excitedly announcing the first artists, all your friends cheering and holding onto each other while you sat and watched from one of the bar stools.

You were still able to have fun as you watched them, smiling softly at the way they kept instinctively moving forward together as the music started and they screamed the lyrics. You didn’t recognize the songs that the band was covering but you knew enough about music to tell it sounded amazing, watching them closely as they skillfully played off of each other and got the crowd properly amped up.

You’d never really understood the purpose behind opening acts but you were getting it now considering you were feeling more and more excited for the main band as you kept watching.

Then more time had passed and the crowd had entered that stage of being too excited and too intoxicated to really understand boundaries and limits, a few fights breaking out that your friends didn’t bat an eye at but you were starting to feel a really deep pit building in your stomach.

It only worsened when somebody was hurriedly, and messily, approaching the bar and demanding another drink as he anxiously looked behind him at where you presumed his spot in the crowd was. You were watching him out of the corner of your eye as he ordered, feeling him swaying drunkenly closer to you and wanting to make sure he didn’t accidentally tip over and knock you out of your seat.

Your intuition was astoundingly accurate considering it wasn’t long before somebody else was approaching the man and leaning into his side, sending the both of them tilting over in your direction.

You’d just managed to hop off the bar seat before they were slamming into it but with the speed in which you’d jumped off combined with the sticky floor underneath you, you were skidding forward and landing roughly on your side against the ground.

Neither man seemed coherent enough to notice you had fallen from the height and you could hear them drunkenly laughing with each other from above you. Your friends hadn’t noticed the altercation either and you quickly frowned at the nasty sensation under your hands before you were standing up and swiftly adjusting your skirt.

You were rushing back out towards the entrance before anybody could notice your disappearance, pushing back through the door and immediately being hit by the cold air as the snow continued to build up on the ground. You were sighing and bending down to pick some of it off the sidewalk, rubbing it in your hands and trying to clean them off the best you could with the wetness.

“You’re going to miss the main act.”

You were jumping at the sound of a voice coming from behind you, standing up swiftly and turning around to see somebody leaning against the building and taking a long drag from whatever it was that he was smoking.

“Oh.. yeah I know I just.. had something on my hands.” You were mumbling out towards him and indicating awkwardly at the snow in your hands, realizing how weird it must’ve looked from his angle.

He was laughing softly at your explanation and your face flushed in embarrassment again for the sixth time that night, taking in his attire and knowing he’d be able to tell right away that you weren’t exactly supposed to be here. He was tall, would be even taller if he was standing up straight and it was especially accentuated by the tight fit of his ripped black jeans. You couldn’t see his face super clearly from where he was stood underneath the shaky lights but his hair was messy and in his eyes and you thought you saw a piercing or two shining on his face.

“Who dragged you here?” He was suddenly asking and you froze up again as you looked at him, eyes darting down to his feet for a second nervously.

“My friends got tickets and I couldn’t get out of it.” You were telling him softly and shrugging a bit. A car was driving past on the empty road and you waited for the sounds of the snow crunching under its tires to quiet before you finished. “From the band actually.”

You look back at him just in time to see his eyebrows lift in surprise and then settle into recognition, your own shifting forward in furrowed confusion. The boy was taking a step off the wall then and flicking his cigarette somewhere off near the road, your eyes following the still burning ember as it flew through the air before circling back to him.

“I’ll see you inside then.” His tone was one of a statement and not a question but you were still slightly confused despite the fact you habitually nodded at him.

You let out a big sigh once he was leaving finally, weirdly going through the alley towards what you could only assume was a side entrance and not the door right next to him. It quickly slipped your mind and you decided to wait for the previous act to finish up before you also headed back in.

You crouched back down closer to the snow and continued to try and clean off your hands and parts of your sleeves that had gotten stained from whatever substances were on the floor. The cold was sending waves of shivers through you but you simply ignored the uncomfortable feeling, especially since you figured you’d warm up quickly once you headed back inside.

Eventually you could hear the second opening act thanking the crowd for their intense energy before the familiar voice of the bar owner was back, this time more excited as he announced that the main band was finally coming out on to the stage.

You sighed softly again to yourself before stomping the slush off your boots and heading back through the door, once again being hit by the tight atmosphere that was a lot more sweaty than when you had first walked in and was now practically buzzing with adrenaline.

It was harder than you had planned for to get back to your seat and you almost gave up and just resided to the back of the building but once the band members were finally on stage the crowd surged forward, a gap in the mass of people slightly opened up and you were hurrying through it back towards where your friends had been. They were gone now but you had expected that, knowing they must likely went closer to the stage.

You were just barely settling back into an empty stool when the band was coming out on stage and you frowned when you realized you could barely see them, sitting up slightly and freezing up when you got a better view.

One of the boys was standing center stage and speaking into the mic, presumably introducing them to the crowd who was cheering the loudest they had all night, but your gaze was drifting a few feet to his right to where one of the guitarist was standing.

You immediately recognized him as the boy from outside, a wave of embarrassment washing over you as you remembered how you had been less than enthusiastic about coming and had told him the band invited you and your friends. His surprised expression was making sense to you now and you would’ve turned to face palm if you weren’t stuck staring at him.

He was scanning the crowd for a few seconds and your eyes widened a touch when he was looking in your direction, stopping his wandering gaze as a soft smirk started to build up on his lips.

You were glancing around you to see if there was anything else he could be looking at and then feeling your face heat up alarmingly fast when you realized there wasn’t and he definitely recognized you from your awkward encounter outside.

Then they were starting to play and you were frozen for other reasons, your eyes locked on him and his frame as he started to open the song slow and soft. It wasn’t the type of music you had expected from them just based off of appearance and you were completely transfixed by the way they skillfully moved with their respective instruments, the boys behind the mics voice coming through now.

The crowd was swaying along with the gentle music, calming down into a low buzz like they were being completely controlled by the bands sound and energy.

You sat frozen like that for the entirety of the first song, mouth slightly parted in surprise and watching the boy you’d seen outside as he continued to play. You didn’t know much about guitars but you could tell he was good, his louder than the others and ringing out clear even underneath the distorted vocals.

He wasn’t looking at you anymore because he wasn’t looking at anything at all, leaning back and keeping his eyes shut as he played them through the final half of the first song. He was rocking along with his strums and he seemed just as into it and transfixed as the rest of the building was.

The first song slowed to a stop and you heard the vocalist laugh softly into the mic before he was glancing behind him towards where the drummer was sitting. You watched them curiously as they nodded at eachother in silent communication, amazed at how casual and relaxed they seemed to be in front of all of these people.

“Obviously we know what you’re all here for.” The lead vocalist was speaking into the mic with a small smile and the two guitarist start to build up the intro of the next song. “Watch your elbows and try not to knock anyone out.”

He was laughing as he finished his lighthearted warning but you watched as the crowd surged with excitement and started to move around, coming to life in sync like they were all the same creature and you felt a bit sick at how tight and moving it was quickly becoming. He was starting to sing again in a lower tone and even though the song was still bordering on calm, you could feel it building up along with the energy in the room.

It was closer to what you had expected their music to sound like and although it wasn’t necessarily something you’d keep on during your downtime, you couldn’t help but feel a bit giddy at the way the entire crowd reacted to the explosive chorus.

The drummers voice was rasping underneath the main vocalist now and you quickly understand their previous communication, a smile building on your face as you watched the guitarist from outside staring at them with an unfiltered excitement.

They played more songs and you continued to sit and watch them unmoving, your eyes mostly transfixed on the boy with the guitar until the end of their set. You’d never seen somebody play the way he did and you almost felt like you had no choice but to watch him considering how captivating he looked on stage. Eventually they were shouting their goodbyes towards the crowd and accepting thrown gifts and hands reaching out for contact, all except for the guitarist considering he was just watching and smiling at the crowd for a distance.

You were still watching them as they left the stage and disappeared back into the restricted part of the building, not even noticing when your friends were excitedly bounding back over to you.

“That was fucking awesome.” Heejin was wrapping her arm around your shoulder and shaking you enthusiastically, sweat lining her dyed hair now and making her tattoos glisten under the now red lighting.

“Jungwon somehow sounds 100 times better in person.” You turned your head to see Sunoo coming to sit next to you with an impressed look on his face, shaking his head in disbelief and still watching the empty stage like you were a few moments ago. “Plus I didn’t know Jake could sing like that.”

“He sang at that school event remember? Before Jay got him into drumming.” Riki was quickly explaining and taking a swig of a water bottle he was carrying, still slightly out of breath from the tight and hot crowd.

You watched them talk animatedly about the show with a soft smile and fondness, you were glad they had fun even if you were originally hesitant to come out with them. It had been better than you’d expected and you still felt a little rush of excitement under your skin when you thought about how loud and beautiful the music had been. You’d completely forgotten about falling on the floor or any mishap.

“Are you ready to go then? We don’t want to keep them waiting, they’re probably super tired.” Joonie was turning to smile at you and await your response but her grin faltered when she saw the heavy look of confusion gracing your features. “You didn’t ask her?”

She was moving her head to give an accusatory stare towards the others and Sunoo winced softly at the harshness in her glare. Riki was sighing and scratching the back of his neck before answering. “We figured we’d ask her after she saw them… maybe she’d be more inclined to say yes.”

“Say yes to what?” You were quickly butting in, slightly frustrated that they were talking around you like you weren’t sat right there watching the entire thing.

“The band wanted us to come over to their place after the show.” Heejin was answering hesitantly, watching you with an expectant look like she was already prepared for you to shut them down.

You can’t deny that the thought immediately crossed your mind, beyond used to rejecting hangouts instinctively especially ones that were so small and intimate with people you didn’t know.

Then you were thinking about the way they had performed and how you had felt seeing them have so much fun on the stage, like they never cared about taking up too much space and they certainly weren’t concerned with ever being too loud. You were pausing for a few seconds to think about it even though you already felt like your mind had been made up, meeting your friends waiting stares and giving them a soft nod of approval.

——

You had quickly come to regret your accepting nod on your way to meet up with the boys, packed into a cab with your friends who still vaguely smelled like the inside of the venue and conjoined sweat.

They still seemed excited so you were trying your best to not be a visible mood killer but you were getting more and more anxious the closer you got to where you’d be meeting, not even exactly sure what type of environment you were going into.

It got even worse when the cab was pulling to a stop in front of a house tucked neatly in a lower class suburban area, the dread of having to make small talk in such an intimate setting like one the boys house was making your stomach turn with nausea. You sucked it up and followed behind your friends with held breath, listening as the door opened and they excitedly greeted whoever it was that was behind it.

You eventually filed through and when it was your turn to pass through the doorway, you realized it was Jake who had opened it.

You recognized him from school events like Riki had mentioned before, not attending yours but a few times a year the neighboring schools held community shows and events to bring the area closer together and scout for grants and sponsorships. You distinctly remember Jake sitting on the stage a few years back, looking beyond nervous as he softly strung his acoustic guitar and sang a song that had slipped your memory by now.

It was a striking opposition to what you’d seen him do tonight, both the fact he had been singing so hard his voice was scratching underneath Jungwon’s softer tone and the way he was slamming down on the drums so hard you had been worried he’d break something.

He had a certain buzzing energy to him that helped this make sense, watching him now as he excitedly bounced around your friends like a loose dog as he guided them towards another doorway. You figured he was more full of bottled up excitement over any actual aggressiveness and you continued to silently follow behind them.

You were a bit surprised to be led down to a small finished basement, carefully walking down the carpeted steps and feeling weirdly like you’d been transported back to your own home with how familiar the area looked.

There was a small red light connected to the door with tape and you imagined it was to signal that some sort of recording was going on, a small smile playing up on your face at the irony of the devoted after band having such a simple setup. The smile was immediately slipping off when you were hearing your friends start up rounds of greeting again and you paled with nerves.

“That’s Y/N, she doesn’t talk much.” Riki was quickly saying and you were half grateful he had saved you from awkwardly stuttering out your name and half furious as all sets of eyes turned to look in your direction.

You recognized the lead singer first, looking a lot less intimidating now that he was sitting on the sofa in more comfortable clothes and letting his purple mullet air dry from what you could only assume was a post show shower. You knew his name was Jungwon just from hearing your friends rambles and you filled in the blanks for the rest of the names.

Jay was almost more intimidating off stage than he was on it, losing that playful and excited energy that being in front of a crowd brought and falling into an almost scary silence. If it wasn’t for the gentle way he was picking at an acoustic guitar, a stark difference to the black and shining electric one you’d seen him with on stage.

Your eyes were drifting over to the final person in the room who was busy chatting with Heejin and staring excitedly at her newest tattoos, his hands hovering over her skin but not touching directly like an excited child. Sunoo had told you on the way here that Sunghoon played bass and whilst you weren’t exactly sure what that meant, he seemed the most approachable out of the group.

Minus the member you’d already accidentally approached but he was missing from the current area and you felt a wave of relief rushing through you considering how embarrassed you’d felt seeing him on stage.

You almost fell into autopilot and you listened to the two groups mix and talk casually like they were lifelong friends, an overwhelming feeling of envy sitting in your stomach considering the fact they were so easily able to hold conversation with each other whilst you struggled to even introduce yourself.

Jay had gotten up to put on a record at some point and that made you feel slightly more at ease considering there was no more room for awkward silence, something a lot calmer than what they’d played earlier ringing through the room as they all lounged in different places and started to smoke amongst each other.

Your friends didn’t bother offering any to you considering you had a tendency to say no, not necessarily against smoking or being high but the intimacy of sharing a blunt mixed with the performance anxiety as it was passed around the circle almost on instinct. The other boys must’ve gotten the hint without it needing to be said and they also didn’t try to get you to smoke, leaving you relieved that they weren’t the types to poke fun at you or try to pressure you into it.

It was a lot easier for you to just watch them and get a small contact high, sinking down into your spot on the couch more and relaxing as they started to lose focus and definitely lose the ability to care if you were being awkward.

You were pressed against the side of the sofa even though nobody was sat directly near you, still trying to ensure you were taking up as little space on the furniture as possible in case somebody else wanted to sit or you were simply just in the way. You were grateful you’d developed this habit considering the door to the basement was opening again and you froze up as the light shone in from the top of the stairs.

“Finally, the chosen one has arrived.” Jake was yelling excitedly from somewhere you couldn’t see, laying flat on the carpet behind the round ottoman and you could only barely catch a glimpse of his arms being thrown up in mock praise.

You were staring at the stairs as the boot covered feet started to descend down and you knew who it was before he even reached the point where you could see his upper half, freezing even more at the way his eyes scanned over the unfamiliar faces in the basement before pausing on you.

You awkwardly pulled your sleeves over your hands and glanced back over at Sunoo was sitting in the chair closest to you and the couch, talking to Sunghoon about something you couldn’t quite make it out considering anxiety was fully building up now and you were slightly disoriented from the overstimulation in the room.

Much to your dismay and attempts to stop yourself, your eyes were drifting back over to the boy and you almost groaned when you realized he was still watching you.

Heeseung had, according to Joonie on the way here, been the one to originally start up the band and convince the others to take it as seriously as he did. He was the lead guitarist first and foremost but he dabbled in almost everything, including producing all of their original songs and covers and apparently forfeiting his basement as their studio considering the younger photos of him scattered around the walls.

His baby pink hair was in his face even more now than it had been when you’d saw him smoking outside, littered with random blonde patches that told you he had done it himself, and now you were positive he had multiple piercings throughout his face.

It was only getting worse for you when he was making his way over to the couch and taking the empty middle seat, directly next to you.

You were sat with your feet up on the fabric and hugging your knees close to your chest but you imagined if you’d been sat normally then your thighs would be press against his that had lost the tight ripped jeans and were now sporting some more casual black sweatpants.

“You want this Hee?” Sunghoon was saying from where he was sat on the floor besides Sunoo on the chair.

You glanced over to the boy just in time to see him shake his head in denial and a wave of surprise and relief washed over you, grateful you wouldn’t be the only one not smoking anymore. “You don’t smoke?” Riki was asking and Heeseung seemed to instinctively shake his head no.

Jay snorted out a half laugh half scoff and you watched the pink haired boy shoot him a sharp glare before his eyes were drifting over to you, almost like he was checking your reaction. Your eyebrows were furrowed forward in confusion, wondering why he was lying about smoking, he must’ve forgotten the fact you’d seen him outside with a cigarette only a few hours before.

Everybody fell back into their own individual conversations again and you started to relax finally, listening to the music playing softly in the smoke filled room.

“So did you end up liking it then?” Heeseung’s voice was coming from beside you and you looked over towards him with widened eyes, not expecting him to directly address you.

“W-what?” You were stuttering out and then immediately flushing in embarrassment when a concerned look passed over his intimidating face. He seemed nice enough but your closed mind couldn’t look past the piercings and the eyeliner still staining around his large eyes.

“The show.” He was quickly explaining, looking slightly embarrassed himself that you hadn’t understood what he was talking about. “You didn’t seem too excited when you were outside.”

You froze up in your spot considering he was directly referencing the conversation you’d had outside, in which you had told him begrudgingly and in complaint that you hadn’t been able to get out of going to the show that he was performing at. You didn’t respond for a few seconds and you were grateful that everybody was too stoned to keep up with your awkward conversation.

“It was… you guys were very..” You trailed off when you saw the expectant look on his face and you cleared your throat a bit, eyes darting down to the double piercings going through the thin skin of his lips and then back up to his eyes. “It was cool.”

“Just cool?” His lip was curling softly up into a half smirk at your extremely vague answer, shifting in his place on the couch so he was facing you better and you tried not to be extremely weird about the fact his arm was resting on the back of the sofa now and therefore his hand was dangling on the other side of your shoulders.

“Super cool?” You offered in a squeaky voice, wincing as your shoulders curled in on themselves.

He laughed softly at your answer and you were relieved that he found it somewhat funny and wasn’t totally offended that you didn’t have a string of compliments prepared for him. You did like the show much more than you thought you would and if you were able to get ahold of yourself, you would’ve told him how impressed you were as you watched him play.

But you weren’t that lucky and you knew you’d be stuck giving him half true statements that didn’t actually show how you truly felt about the set, turning your head back to face forward so you didn’t have to look at his face anymore.

You weren’t exactly sure why he had come to talk to you out of everybody in the room, knowing he was obviously a lot closer to his band mates and had even hung out with your male friends a few times from your knowledge in group settings. Joonie had told you that she thought the two of you were a bit similar considering he was also rarely at social events but you highly doubted the comparison considering the way he looked performing in front of an adoring and expectant crowd.

Still, you thought about the way he hung back at the end of the final song instead of interacting with the fans like the other members had and the fact you hadn’t been surprised when he wasn’t present in the basement at first.

“Are you two actually talking to each other or just sitting in weirdo silence?” Your head was picking back up to look over at Heejin who was sitting on the other side of the couch, next to Heeseung but leaning far enough away towards Jake and Jungwon that they didn’t touch at all.

You didn’t need to look at her to know who she was referring to but your stomach dropped a little when you met her gaze and confirmed she was referring to you, the others in the room also looking over considering her statement.

Heejin was in no way mean to you and she was actually your longest friend out of the group, knowing her since middle school which meant she was around to watch your social decline. She made jokes sometimes or pushed you too far out of your comfort zone but you always took it as her way of trying to help you loosen up like she knew you could, always stopping whenever you got visibly too overwhelmed or uncomfortable.

You weren’t sure if it was the presence of people she admired or the buzz of a high settling over her that caused her to make the comment but it clearly crossed a line the two of you had silently established throughout the years, your face dropping at the unwanted attention.

“Heeseung is the master of weirdo silence.” Jake was adding on from the floor again and you could hear him giggling nonsensically, sitting up so you could see his head past the ottoman and frown at him.

“Yeah well I’d rather talk to..” Heeseung was starting harshly before trailing off and glancing over at you with a raised eyebrow. You paused for a few seconds and stared at him in confusion but realizing he was waiting for you to tell him your name, quickly whispering it to him and trying to ignore the small smile he gave you before turning back to look at the others. “I’d rather talk to Y/N than you deadbeats.”

The boys in the room were breaking out into small fits of laughters and instigating choruses of “Oo’s”. Fanning their hands out like they’d been burned and only settling down when Heeseung was rolling his eyes and sinking further into the couch.

Luckily they all seemed to let it go after that even though you were still left with a deeper pit in your stomach because of Heejin’s random dig at both you and Heeseung, roping him in to your anti social behavior and giving his own friends the opportunity to pile on top of it.

You were glancing over at him again from the corner of your eye, hesitantly shifting to try and catch his attention again. His gaze was snapping back to your face when you moved slightly and his eyebrows raised in question again, a lot softer than they had been when he was asking for your name and snapping back at your friends. You watched the way the metal balls surrounding his eyebrow stretched with the movement before licking your dry lips and speaking.

“Thanks.” The word slipped from your lips in a small breath and once again you felt disappointed that it was all you had managed to say, wishing you were able to express your gratitude to him more.

He didn’t seem to mind and his shoulders were lifting in a small shoulder, watching you curiously. “It’s no big deal. I don’t talk much either.”

“Even though you do all… that?” You were asking before you even processed the question falling from your lips and he looked equally surprised as you that you were continuing the conversation without needing prompting.

“Like perform?” His voice was lower now as you started to talk more and you had a feeling he didn’t want the others to listen in and find a way to intervene again. You gave him a soft nod, grateful he had understood your vague wording. “It’s different, I don’t really think of it like that. Sometimes I don’t even feel like I’m there in front of all those people.”

If you’d heard him say that last week or even this morning, you would’ve not fully understood what exactly he was trying to explain to you. Even now you were still a bit confused on what exactly the feeling was like but you immediately understood what he was referring to, remembering the way he was closing his eyes and leaning with the music like he was in his own world.

You must’ve fallen silent for too long as you were thinking about it and what that could possibly be like, how it would feel to live a life with that sort of overwhelming passion, because he was clearing his throat and shifting again.

“It’s like… well what do you do?” He was starting to try and find an analogy, assuming you didn’t understand and you froze up at the direct question.

“What do I do?” You were repeating back to him for clarification and he nodded earnestly, waiting to hear your answer. “I don’t think I really do anything.”

He seemed taken back by that and you were slightly embarrassed that you’d failed to answer his question properly. You’d thought about it before, being at the age where you should have something you were passionate about or a hobby that motivated you in some way.

You never really did much of anything on your own and you’d yet to find anything that gave you that sort of spark he’d be referring to, the type of spark that would cause you to do what you loved even if it meant pushing yourself past your limits or standing on a stage like you were born for it.

“What are you doing this weekend?” He was suddenly rushing out and your eyes widened in surprise again at the fact his voice had come out much louder now, like he’d forced himself to say it. You didn’t say anything for a few seconds and then you were shaking your head to signal that you weren’t doing anything set in stone. “Come to our next show.”

“To your show?” You were repeating in bewilderment and he was nodding his head quickly as he scanned over your face hesitantly, wondering if you were going to reject him. Eventually you were biting the inside of your cheek after contemplating for a while and glancing at him. “O-okay.. yeah sure.”

——

“Y/N, the phone for you.” Your mothers screaming voice was floating up the stairs and you groaned softly into your pillow, laying on your stomach and overthinking the events of the previous weekend like you had been for days.

It was pretty uneventful after your conversation with Heeseung, both falling into a silence or offering small laughs and quick glances as you listened to your friends talk and get to know each other better. He must’ve been telling the truth about not talking much because nobody looked over at him once expectantly although you noticed his band mates keeping an eye on the two of you occasionally.

Eventually you and your friends had left the basement and the pink haired boy had spared you a quick wave through the window as the taxi pulled off.

You’d listened to your friends excitedly talk the entire way back to your neighbors and pry you for details about what you’d been talking about with him, not noticing the bitter expression on your face when you noticed how surprised they seemed that he’d chosen to speak to you.

Now it was Thursday and you were thinking about it all again, replaying it over and over and finding something new to be embarrassed about each time you did. Heeseung was surprisingly soft spoken and slightly awkward considering his appearance but you knew it held no parallel to how terrible you were at socializing.

“Y/N.” Your mom was screaming again and this time you rolled over as you groaned, letting it fill the room before you were getting off your bed and heading down the stairs.

Your mom was standing there with the phone in her hand, watching you with an excited expression and your face was pulling forward in confusion as your steps hesitantly slowed to a stop. “It’s a boy.” She was whispering and pointing at the phone with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

You were snatching the phone away from her and walking around the corner into the hallways, stretching the chord as far as it could possibly go and waving a dismissive hand at your mom when she was poking her around the corner in curiosity.

“Hello?” You were breathing into the phone and it was a heavy silence for a few seconds before you could hear somebody clearing their throat on the other side.

“Hey Y/N, it’s Heeseung.” He was announcing and you froze up at the sound of his soft voice coming through your speaker, clutching the phone tighter in your hand and shifting it against your ear. “Um.. like the guitar guy.”

You were laughing softly at the fact he felt the need to specify, most likely growing nervous from your extended silence. “I know who you are Heeseung.”

“Cool… yeah cool.” He was breathing back and letting out his own nervous laugh, a small smile building on your face at how awkward he seemed now. You liked how different he was in each setting, confident and sensual on stage and casual and calm when surrounded by his friends in a familiar area. Now you were seeing what he was like on his own, mirroring a personality similar to yours.

“D-did you need something?” You tried to keep your tone light so he didn’t think you were bothered by the fact he had called despite your confusion over how he’d gotten your number or what exactly he wanted.

Your heart was racing slightly as you listened to him inhale over the phone, feeling a bit ridiculous over your own reactions but you couldn’t help but think about his soft pink hair and the piercings your mom would definitely disapprove of. She glared at Heejin’s bare skin every time she came over during the summer so you couldn’t imagine her reaction to seeing Heeseung’s group of friends.

“I was just calling to make sure you were still going to the show and Sunghoon said I should tell you to bring your friends.” He was explaining in a low tone and you could hear shushing in the background, your smile widening at the realization he was around some of his friends. “I’m pretty sure he’s just trying to convince Heejin to give him a tattoo but it would be safer anyways with more people.”

“Alright, yeah we’ll be there.” You were telling him back swiftly and you surprised yourself by how naturally it came out of your mouth, no stutter or hesitation.

“Cool.” You could almost hear the smile in his voice as he said the word again, almost repeating it like he did the first time but seemingly catching himself before he did. “I’ll see you there then?”

“Yeah… yeah you will.”

——

“So he like directly invited you.” Riki was asking for the sixth time that night and you sighed softly when he was bumping his elbow into your arm with a smile on his face, clearly excited about the recent development in your life.

“Is it that surprising?” Your tone was stiff along with your posture, somehow once again finding yourself in a cold line outside of a random concert venue downtown.

“Not at all Y/N.” Sunoo was quickly interjecting once he realized you were taking offense to their over excitement, offering him a small tired smile due to his habit of trying to make you feel better. “We are just happy for you.”

You were about to remind him that there was no reason to be happy or excited and that you and Heeseung had just gotten along, nothing else, but you were interrupted by the staff who was checking tickets approaching your group. You watched as he took a look at Riki’s and then his school ID, promptly marking his hand with a solid black X before he was turning towards you expectantly.

He was looking at your ID with a bored expression but before he was able to hand it back to you and give you a similar marking, he paused and did a double take as he looked at the words. “Y/N? You’re on the list.”

“The list?” Your voice was soft in confusion and buried under the sound of your friends excited squeals and laughters, feeling Joonie’s hands come up to squeeze your shoulders and shake you softly.

You weren’t understanding what was happening until you were being moved forward, hearing Heejin clarify that you all were allowed early entry before she was smiling brightly and practically caring you with the rest of them as you entered the venue ahead of everybody else. You felt a flush come up to your cheeks when you realized that Heeseung had clearly mentioned you to the staff of the building and that’s why you were currently skipping the line and heading towards the back of the venue.

It was a different place than last time, bigger and seemingly more concert specific in comparison to the bar you were at last time.

The staff member was leading you down a hallway until you were stopped in front of a door with chipping paint, a piece of paper stuck to it with tape and the bands name in big sharpie letters. You smiled softly at their names all scribbled around the bold font, knowing they must’ve stuck it outside themselves as a mock dressing room.

You felt a wave of anxiety rush up with the employee was knocking on the door twice before turning to head back outside and control the growing crowd but you didn’t have any time to panic before it was being thrown open.

“You came.” Heeseung’s eyes were wide as he looked down at you in surprise and you were parting your lips to answer him before your friends were impatiently pushing into the room, practically shoving you forward into him.

He helped steady you when you made a small noise of surprise and you were glancing up at him in embarrassment, face undoubtedly red considering he was holding onto your arms even once your feet were flat on the ground. “You look…”

You felt overwhelming self conscious when his gaze was dropping down, scanning over your outfit and body before meeting your eyes again. You’d mistakenly let Heejin and Joonie dress you after they practically spent two hours begging, remembering how awkward you felt being improperly dressed last time.

It felt even worse to be in clothes you weren’t at all used to or comfortable with and you couldn’t tell what Heeseung was thinking just based off his expression.

“It looks really good.” He was breathing out finally and you felt a wave of relief at his statement, and then self judgment for caring what he thought in the first place. “Are you sure you’ll be comfortable though? I have a sweater you can wear.”

You froze up slightly as he continued to speak to you in a calm voice, somehow sensing your anxiety over the outfit despite only speaking to you a few times. You were half flattered that he cared enough to lend you some clothes and half humiliated that he could tell you didn’t normally wear things like this.

He must’ve seen outfits like this on hundreds of girls every time he had a show, knowing half the crowd would be dressed similarly to you but wearing it with a confidence and aura that you severely lacked. You didn’t have an overwhelming presence like Heejin or an alluring personality like Joonie and you’d always felt bland in comparison.

You were awkwardly glancing around the makeshift dressing room and pleased to see your friends and the band engaging in their own excited conversations and not paying you any mind.

Then your gaze was landing on one of the mirrors across the room and you were freezing up when you caught sight of you and Heeseung, still standing closer than you’d thought you were with his hands touching your arms. You almost didn’t recognize yourself for a second and despite how awful the clothes felt against your skin, you couldn’t deny that you looked good standing next to him and his similar aesthetic.

“I’ll be alright.” You were turning back to him to answer his question definitively and you tried to hold eye contact with him for a second, easier considering his hair was falling into his face again.

He was wearing eyeliner like he had been the first time you’d seen him outside the venue but it was a lot bolder and messier this time, making his eyes even bigger than they already were but completely changing his energy and appearance in comparison to the version of him you’d seen in his basement.

“Are you nervous?” You weren’t sure why that was the next thing you said to him but his eyes lit up when you whispered the question, staring up at him with wide eyes and saying it so softly he almost didn’t catch it underneath the loud crowd in the distance and your friends behind him.

“I’m excited.” He was responding back and you knew he meant it, no sign of apprehension or hesitation on his face.

You’d never seen somebody look as intense as Heeseung did when he talked about performing, his entire demeanor changing from the awkward boy who you’d been speaking to, almost seeming unsure of himself after every sentence. He didn’t even seem to think at all when he spoke about music or being on stage and you watched him curiously as he rambled on about how it felt to be up there.

You figured he probably knew you wouldn’t ever be able to understand what he was talking about unless you did it yourself but you still felt giddy that he wanted to explain it to you.

He talked about it until another team member was poking his head in to let the boys know that soundcheck was about to start and then the doors would open, also being you and your friends queue to go and get spots in the front row.

“I’ll see you out there then?” He was smiling down at you and giving a gentle squeeze to your arm that he was still holding, your own breaking out on your face despite trying to withhold and you gave him a small nod of approval before he was disappearing out the door after the others.

Your friends were obviously excited for having caught the end of your interaction and although you rolled your eyes as they begun to tease you, you couldn’t rid yourself of the bright grin you were catching between your lips and you started to head back out into the hallway and towards where the crowd would be standing.

You felt okay for now but you were starting to get more and more anxious at the realization that soon the mass of people would surge inside towards you and you’d be stuck in your place against the barricade, white knuckling it as you contemplated heading to the back of the venue and watching from there instead so you wouldn’t embarrass yourself by having a panic attack right in front of the band.

“You know..” Heejin was leaning in against your side to whisper into your ear and you felt her hand squeezing your side affectionately. “Jake said that Heeseung’s never invited anybody to a show before.”

She was pulling away just in time to see your eyes widen in surprise, followed by your face flushing a bright red at the knowing look she was giving you. “Not even his family?”

You knew that the bands music wouldn’t necessarily be everybody’s personal taste, especially those of an older generation, but you couldn’t help but feel slightly confused that he wouldn’t ever ask anybody to come watch him perform. He was clearly proud of what he had created and more passionate than anyone you’d met before.

“It’s just him and his dad I guess.” She was shrugging softly and glancing up at the stage as she spoke. “Apparently he’s a huge hard ass about him doing music.”

Your face was falling into a small frown at what she was saying but you didn’t have a chance to respond before the lights were shutting off and immediately being replaced by the same red ones the other venue had put on for their set, hearing the sounds of the doors opening and feet swiftly approaching the stage.

Anxiety was immediately building up as you were getting more and more constricted in the crowd but you felt slightly better knowing your friends were around you, feeling Riki not so subtly shift his position so he was stood behind you and you weren’t going to be subject to any stranger pressing into your body.

You were going to turn and give him a grateful smile but you were cut off by the sounds of the crowd screaming louder than you’d ever heard, confused on what was causing it before you realized the boys were already coming out onto the stage.

They were only silhouettes at first without the spotlights turned on but you could tell it was Sunghoon who had ended up directly in front of you, glancing across the stage to see Heeseung on the other side beside Jungwon again like he had been the other weekend.

Then the lights were coming on, soft enough to keep the red glow but illuminating each member and their instruments. You smiled widely and couldn’t help the scream that leapt from your throat, joining in with your friends and the rest of the crowd as excitement started to fill you. You’d never been in a setting like this before and you were quickly understanding why it was so addicting.

You were already watching Heeseung from the moment he stepped on stage so you definitely didn’t miss the way his eyes were scanning the front section of the crowd, only settling once they passed by you before quickly backtracking as a smile curled up on his lips.

Jungwon was starting to speak into the mic and introduce them like you’d heard him do last week but you were preoccupied, watching the pink haired boy and giving him a small nod of acknowledgment with a soft smile.

Then the show was starting and you quickly realized that what you had seen last time was nothing in comparison to actually being in the crowd, an energy taking over you that you didn’t even know you possessed. You were dancing along with Heejin and gripping Sunoo’s arm in excitement as he screamed and sang along, all the while keeping your eyes on Heeseung.

He was almost like a completely different person on stage, more than just his energy considering the fact even his gaze was new to you. He was a lot more intimidating when he was staring down at you with hooded eyes, the eyeliner more smudge now and thankfully distracting you from the skillful way his fingers moved along the guitar strings.

It was hard not to think about him to the level you’d been trying to deny when he was looking at you for almost the entirety of the show, seemingly checking on you when the crowd got particularly wild and at other times almost looking smug because of how transfixed you seemed. His lip would curl into a cocky smirk that you didn’t even think he could manage and you’d feel your heart thump alive in a way it never had before.

You spent the next few months following this exact routine with him.

Every week, in the middle of it or sometimes as early as the day after a show, he’d call your house and your mom would yell your name up the stairs. He’d softly invite you to the next show and you’d excitedly tell him that you’d be there, despite knowing he already knew the answer and you knowing he just liked to hear you say it.

Sometimes you’d take your friends with you but eventually you got comfortable enough to go by yourself, you’d be let in early with a small smile to the bouncers and you’d always ask him the same question before he got on stage.

“Are you nervous?” You’d say for the dozenth time even though you knew by now that he wasn’t but every single time his eyes would light up with that fire and passion that you’d been so sucked in by and he’d always repeat the same words back in the same tone.

“I’m excited.”

Heeseung liked it best when you came to his shows so you did it every weekend you were free, even when you’d get too overwhelmed and have to sit in the dressing room or behind the stage if it was available, he just liked knowing you were there to see him and he expressed it to you every single time.

You got closer over that time outside of watching him play too, taking longer to get over that awkwardness you both carried outside of the venues when the adrenaline died down but eventually you’d stopped hanging out solely within your respective groups and started to spend some time alone together.

He’d pick you up in his shitty run down car and your mom would glare at him from the living room window, watching his hair go from pink to blue then to a red that had taken you back a few steps with its brightness when you’d first seen it.

“That’s.. a strong choice.” You’d said after you buckled your seatbelt and you were reaching forward to run your hand through it before you even had a second to think about it.

“My dad hates the color red.” Was all he had responded with and you watched the side of his face as he smiled softly and put the car into drive.

Heeseung wasn’t the most stable person to be around at times but you eventually realized that you’d never felt as comfortable taking up space as you did when you were with him, an addicting feeling that you almost had no choice but to lean forward into and you were thankful that he was always around to catch you.

You’d sit in the basement with the boys as they practiced new songs and Jake had even attempted to teach you to play some songs on the guitar, going to him for help because it felt less intimidating than asking one of the actual guitar players.

It was somehow easy to mesh into their routines and hobbies despite how different you were than them and your most fun high school memories all featured your old friends and new ones hanging out together, all packed into booths at late night diners after a particularly good show or getting makeshift tattoos from Heejin in the familiar basement that you’d spent most of the year in by the time graduation rolled around.

Heeseung was a year older than you and already graduated before you’d met him but he’d made sure to attend and watch you and your friends walk, minus Riki who still had a year left.

You’d all rushed out of the ceremony hall and squished in his car so you could drive across town and watch the rest of his friends at their own school, cheering for them all in your different colored graduation gowns and ignoring the embarrassed look on Jungwon’s face when he gave his class president speech at the beginning.

There were a lot of highs but it all came with lows too and those took you longer to adjust to.

You weren’t exactly sure how to handle it when Heeseung would show up at your house late at night, sometimes bleeding from various places on his face or panting like he’d run all the way there. You’d quickly pull him inside and ignore your moms questioning shout asking who was at the door.

Eventually you had sat her down after dinner and told her that sometimes Heeseung had issues with his dad and he didn’t have anywhere else to go, which was a slight lie on your part but you knew it felt true to him considering he never considered any other options before heading in your direction even if it was across town and a lot less welcoming than one of his friends houses.

She never was a big fan of him, of any of your friends but especially him, despite the gentle way he always said hello to her upon entry and his countless attempts to get on her good side. You’d tried to explain to him that it wasn’t anything personal or anything he was doing wrong and it was just how your mother was but he seemed particularly upset about it despite normally not caring what people thought of him.

“It’s your mom, it’s different.” He was stressing his words to emphasize that it was because she was related to you that it mattered to him and you were furrowing your eyebrows and turning to look at him.

You were sat on your bed together, two months before it happened, and sharing a pair of headphones that was playing a scratchy demo of a song he’d been working on. You were popping the tape out of the device so it would stop abruptly as you sat up a little bit to be able to see his face better.

“Why do you say stuff like that?” You were asking him and he sighed softly like he always did when you begun to pry for answers regarding his behavior towards you.

Despite the way you felt around him and the fact you’d practically become inseparable in the summer following graduation, you’d never directly talked about what your relationship was or even crossed a line that would definitely give you an unspoken answer. Outside of some longing glances and hands resting a little too low on your back, you’d remained pretty platonic other than your own inner thoughts and emotions.

“Don’t know.” He was mumbling softly as he looked at you and you squinted your eyes at him in disbelief but eventually you sighed and shifted back so you were resting against your headboard again, shoulder pressed into his tightly.

When it finally happened, you pretty much assumed that your life was going to abruptly end.

The boys had been growing in popularity now that they were out of school and able to do music full time, still underaged but building enough connections with the local music scene and venues to be able to play more frequently and to older and grittier crowds.

Mixed with the rise of the internet and MTV music videos filled with long haired rockstars and half naked women, it didn’t take long for their talents to get noticed by a few different people who swore they were from the next big company and could guarantee to make Echoes of Riot each millionaires respectfully, offers that were all swiftly turned down by Heeseung (with the advice of Sunoo who had begun to fill a management like role within the group).

You’d never paid much mind to what stardom would mean for the boys despite believing to the deepest part of your heart that they deserved it and were more talented than most the people you heard over the radio. For some reason, some childish idiotic reason, you figured they’d spend the rest of your lives being teenagers playing in bars around your small hometown.

Then one night after a particularly long show, all the boys panting and sweaty as they headed back to their dressing rooms, a man had approached them similarly to the way others did almost nightly.

You knew right away that something was different this time and your friends did too, watching silently as the group stopped in their steps towards the back rooms and actually begun to pay attention to what the man was saying. Heeseung’s eyes were flickering up to yours and you raised your eyebrows at him from where you sat at the bar, shifting out of your seat when he beckoned you closer with a quick flick of his fingers.

The rest of your friends followed you and all of you made your way back to the rooms with the band and the man.

He didn’t seem at all bothered by the additional people in the room as he started to repeat his pitch behind closed doors and your heart started to clench nervously when you realized why he seemed so different.

Min Yoongi actually cared about the music quality and spreading a proper message through your work and performances, opening his monologue with descriptions of how he felt hearing and watching the videos Riki had been posting online of the group and you watched as his eyes twinkled with a passion you’d only ever seen before from the boy sitting next to you.

His hand was resting on your arm and draping over your shoulder on the couch but he couldn’t have been further away from you in that moment, holding onto every word Yoongi was saying and leaning forward occasionally to enthusiastically agree with something he was saying.

It was a jarring change after seeing him barely give the other music people a second of his time for the last few months but you understood that they had this connection you simply weren’t capable of understanding, a mutual trust built through having the same dream and passion and by the end of the first meeting, even without anything even halfway confirmed, you knew things were going to change from then on out.

Yoongi didn’t have a lot of money to invest into the boys but he was dedicated to promoting them and helping them with levels of production you’d only get with decades of experience, upping their discography to even higher levels and it wasn’t long before he was proving himself right.

“Tour?” Your voice was breaking around the word Heeseung had just said, continuing his sentence afterwards but you hadn’t heard a thing he’d said after that, your ears ringing as your face paled. “You’re leaving?”

He was faltering at the unexpected upset in your voice and you would’ve felt guilty for not matching his level of enthusiasm but you couldn’t help the wave of panic overwhelming you as you continued to try and process what he was saying.

“Hey, hey Y/N listen to me.” His voice was soft and you could feel his hand reaching forward to touch and cup your cheek, softly swiping his thumb over your smooth hot skin and shifting on the bed so he was closer to you. “It would only be for a few months, then I’d be coming back. We’d all be coming back.”

You’d somehow not processed the fact that going on tour meant the other boys would be also leaving with him and another wave of sickness swept over you at the realization you’d be losing most of your friends in one swoop, the most constant and positive thing in your entire life since you’d met them.

“I don’t want to leave, baby you know I’d never just leave.” He was quickly continuing when he realized he’d made it worse and your eyes shot up to him at the use of the pet name falling from his lips so casually despite never hearing it directed towards you before. He didn’t even seem to notice that he had said it and he was continuing on despite the surprise on your face. “But… I mean this is it.”

His words were vague but you knew exactly what they meant.

This was the end of the road for the life you’d been so happily living because despite how content and happy you were watching them play small and intimate shows, Heeseung had this hunger for more that would never be satisfied in a place like your hometown.

He didn’t mean to break your heart of course and you were definitely at fault for stupidly falling in love with a rockstar, falling victim to the oldest cliche in the book as you sat at the bus station and cried into Joonie’s shoulder. You watched as their tour bus got further and further out of sight before it was turning a corner and disappearing with all of them on it.

Things were the roughest they’d ever been for the first few months the boys were gone.

Your typical routine had been shattered and you were back to existing like a corpse, moving around from one task to the next with no real excitement or purpose. You’d never necessarily gained one but being around somebody as passionate and driven as Heeseung was like getting a secondhand high and you’d been riding the wave of his interest for the last year, now alone out at sea and stuck scrubbing the counters of a coffee shop in the small downtown area of your city.

You tried to write for the first month or two but eventually it got too hard for you to handle and you started to let Heeseung’s letters pile up. He’d still call your home phone but your mom stopped letting you know when he did and sometimes you’d hear her softly telling him that you weren’t feeling good and she’d have you call back later. She never brought it up and neither did you.

He’d call Heejin and Riki too and sometimes you’d hear his voice when you were talking to Sunoo on the phone. He’d went with them on tour after Yoongi had asked him to be their official team manager, giving him more time to handle the business side of things while Sunoo dealt with their personal schedules and issues. You’d listen to your friend lie and say he was talking to his sister and you’d thank him softly as he sighed and asked why you couldn’t just talk to your shared friend.

You didn’t know how to explain that Heeseung was something you needed to get clean from and hearing from him in small doses would make it ten times harder for you to function.

It was too much to say that his letters kept you awake all night crying as you read about how much he missed you followed by random sketches and song lyrics he was writing about you. They wouldn’t understand why you dropped a full plate of food the first time you heard them on the radio at work or why you stayed up all night to see their first actual interview on TV.

Eventually people stopped mentioning the band to you or at least spoke like the main guitarist and face of the group didn’t exist. It was easy enough to avoid for the first six months and then the articles started to roll out.

The boys hadn’t come home after their first tour and they were “temporarily” staying out in New York where there was more of a network and better opportunities. Part of you was grateful Heeseung hadn’t moved back to town, knowing you’d run into him eventually but you couldn’t stop thinking about him regardless considering the news being put out with his name on the headlines.

“That’s his third fight this week Sunoo.” You were spitting over the phone, balancing it between your shoulder and ear as you aggressively scrubbed at a dish that’d already been clean for the past few minutes. “Aren’t you supposed to be keeping them in check?”

“You don’t think I’m trying Y/N?” His voice was exhausted and desperate and you felt bad immediately for snapping at him, knowing your real anger didn’t result from him. “I have no idea what to do, I’ve never seen him like this.”

All the boys had been subject to some controversy as they continued to gain quick fame and admirers but like always, your brain was laser focused on Heeseung. He was getting into drunken fights routinely and being reported with multiple women who may or may not be fans who like to kiss and tell, photos of him and the other boys looking worse and worse each passing weekend as their rockstar lifestyle truly blossomed into an absolute disaster.

Eventually you started to find yourself ignoring the news again, becoming accustomed to it and already knowing what it was going to be every time Riki sighed entering your job and slid a magazine in your direction.

Three years passed like this and while you had stopped crying every night from how much you missed Heeseung and your other friends, if you could even consider them that considering the lack of communication over the years, you still felt that empty feeling in your skin as you robotically went about your routines and lifeless activities that didn’t hold any real purpose or grand result.

At the end of the third year, stretching into a point where you’d been away from Heeseung longer than you were ever with him, Heejin had told you that the band was back in town.

She’d called you and hesitantly let you know that she had run into Jay at the local grocery store a few hours ago, citing that she hadn’t thought much about it until she was back at her tattoo shop and thinking about you possibly running into one of the boys for as long as they stuck around this time. You’d thanked her for the heads up and then buried your head into your arms in upset, both at how little distance was between you and Heeseung and also regarding the fact Sunoo hadn’t even bothered to tell you they were around.

Half of you expected it, knowing you weren’t teenagers anymore standing in a cold concert line and he didn’t owe you any update on his whereabouts, clearly not telling Heejin either considering her shock upon seeing a familiar face.

Joonie however seemed to know all about it when you hesitatingly mentioned it over lunch with her and Riki after he’d asked you why you seemed so on edge. “Well it’s been on their tour show list for like four months.”

“And you didn’t think to tell anyone?” Riki was voicing your thoughts before you could and his face was curled up in annoyance and betrayal as he shoved a fry into his mouth, clearly just as caught off guard as you and hurt considering he’d also gotten close to the members before they’d left and he was friends with Sunoo for as long as you.

“You always tell me not to talk about them in front of Y/N.” She was whining out and you glanced at the younger boy who looked slightly sheepish as she said something he clearly meant to keep private.

She wasn’t necessarily wrong and you’d grown to realize being around her was going to be hard considering how big of a fan she remained of the band even after their decline into scandal, simultaneously acting like any other fan girl and somehow also constantly bragging to others about how she knew them personally before they’d blown up. Maybe she had mentioned their return at some point but it’d been years since you started to tune her out.

“So they’re not staying?” You were finally speaking again, your voice weak and curious and she gave you a knowing look before nodding and patting your hand.

You weren’t sure why you felt overwhelmingly disappointed that they’d eventually leave again despite the fact you planned to spend the entire time they were here avoiding them and hiding out in your apartment. It was probably for the same reason she was giving you a pity filled look and Riki was picking at the skin around his nails.

It only took a few days for Joonie to push the limit on how much of her interest in the band you could take, answering her late night call to hear her hysterical as she screamed over the sound of passing cars and told you she’d completely stalled on the highway and was going to miss the show.

You told yourself that you began immediately putting on your shoes and grabbing your keys because you were a good friend and you kept repeating it in your head the entire drive to her location, swearing over and over that it had nothing to do with putting yourself closer to Heeseung. Even after her and her two friends had gotten in your car with his face on their tshirts, you swallowed your tongue and promised your heart it wasn’t for any other reason.

It wasn’t because you wanted to see the thousands of fans outside the arena, the show being on the nicer side of town and twenty minutes away from the venues they used to hold small performances for.

They thanked you continuously as you parked and then Joonie was pulling you aside to guilty whisper that you’d need to get your parking validate to be able to leave and return to pick them back up. A wave of nausea rolled over you but you were still convincing yourself you didn’t care so you swallowed your sickness and gave her a tight smile before following them outside the car.

“The booths over there.” She was telling you once you’d gotten inside and she had a wide smile on her face that matched her friends, clutching her ticket and practically beaming with excitement. “So we’ll see you at 11:30?”

“Mhm.” You didn’t trust your voice enough to speak and not give away how you were feeling so you hummed out a response to her question you barely processed before watching them squeal and walk towards the actual check in and entrance.

You rubbed your fingers together anxiously before glancing to your right and sighing seeing the line of people waiting to get their parking validated, teenage girls who looked like they barely could drive mixed in with dads and boyfriends who looked just as exhausted and irritated as you were starting to feel.

For a second you considered just leaving the girls there and asking Heejin or Riki to pick them up afterwards so you could drink yourself delirious and forget you’d ever been this close to the band but your heart clenched thinking about them having to experience the same thing and you told yourself again that you were trying to be a good friend.

You’d been standing in the line for twenty minutes, holding onto your last strand of patience and curiously listening to the fans around you talking about the boys with so much awe and wonderment.

You couldn’t help but smile at some things, hearing them gush about Jungwon’s cheeks or rave about how sexy Sunghoon’s newest guitar was and you felt a bit stupid for the pride filling your chest. You’d been avoiding them and their music, never listening to anything they’d put out in recent years but you felt happy for them knowing they were still igniting that same excitement in people even if they seemed to have lost the passion themselves.

It was almost exactly twenty one minutes later when you were feeling something tap against your shoulder, whipping your head to the side to see who had bumped into you before freezing up completely.

He had a mask on and a hat almost covering his eyes but you knew immediately who it was, eyes widening as you looked at him and then glanced around your surroundings to see if anybody had recognized him too.

“The fans don’t pay much attention to anyone without an instrument.” Sunoo was saying and you could hear him smiling even if you couldn’t see most of his face, breathing out a sigh of relief and pulling him in for a hug before you had a second to think about it.

He accepted it immediately and you were grateful that he wasn’t being distant with you despite the fact that was all you’d shown each other in recent years, melting into your hold as your eyes pricked with tears considering how much taller and thinner he was now. Sometimes when you thought of the boys, they were frozen in time and still teenagers in your head and you felt a bit dizzy as the illusion broke right in front of you.

“How’d you know I was here?” You were whispering out into his chest and then pulling back to stare up at him in amazement, scanning over his covered face.

“Sunghoon saw the hundreds of messages Joonie had sent… she actually had the guts to ask him to pick her up after her car stalled.” He was explaining and you felt embarrassed for your friend even though Sunoo was laughing like it was something funny. You got annoyed with her behavior but she was still your friend and you almost felt offended for her knowing they’d all been laughing at her attempts to reach out, no matter how baseless her connection with them seemed on their side. “We figured that you would’ve been the one to answer her calls.”

“We?” You were asking the second the word fell from his lips and a flash of regret passed over his face. “Do they all know I’m here?”

“Except for him.” He was explaining and you felt his hand squeezing your arm to try and calm you down, a flash of familiarity running through you at the feeling despite slowly recognizing the boy in front of you less and less. “But I imagine one of them is going to slip up sooner or later.”

You were nodding in understanding but your heart started to thump with anxiety and you were grateful that the arena was so full, hoping Heeseung wasn’t dumb enough to run out into a waiting room of fans to try and see you.

“I have to go.” You were practically forcing the words out and your face was pulling into a grimace as you said them, feeling short of breath and dizzy as your past and present finally started to collide despite your years of effort. “Can you…”

You were gesturing towards the parking validation ticket in your hand and he glanced down at it before looking back at your panicked eyes and nodding softly, squeezing your arm one more time before he was taking it and giving you the go ahead to get out of the arena before your chest exploded.

You didn’t know exactly what to say to him, you weren’t sure if this was a see you later or another long term goodbye and he seemed to be thinking the same thing, nodding again when you smiled sadly at him and took a few steps backwards.

Nearly losing your footing as you turned around, you were dizzyingly making your way out of the arenas main center and pushing back out into the chilled air. Your lungs tried to suck in deep breaths and you hurriedly made your way back to the parking garage but you were failing miserably and you eventually gave up all together, pausing in your quick strides and resting again the building with your eyes shut tight.

It wasn’t at all quiet, fans still gathered outside before the show and traffic beeps and honks as people tried to get in and out of the busy area, but your head felt empty and shut down.

The sound of footsteps approaching you crept into your dizzy brain and you took a deep breath before looking up, somehow already knowing who it was going to be without so much as a glance. He was stopping a few feet away from you when you looked up and your legs felt weaker as you stared at him in silence.

He was wearing a mask and a hat like Sunoo and whilst you’d been disappointed earlier about not being able to see your old friends face, now you were extremely grateful for the coverage. It didn’t help much considering you could still see the most recognizable part of him, his big eyes blinking at you in shock.

“You don’t look that surprised.” Heeseung’s voice was shockingly similar to how it was last time you’d heard it in person, the tone only slightly deeper and the only major change being the lifelessness behind his words as he watched you stand up straight.

He was right, for some reason you weren’t at all shocked to see him in front of you but he was in the same spot as you considering he came to find you in the first place. “Should I be? You’re here aren’t you?”

You heard him scoff softly before he was turning his head to look around the area, handful of fans still wandering around but slowly starting to disperse as they made their way insides to find their seats and buy the merch. He was glancing back at you quickly and then he was reaching up to take his mask off.

He didn’t say anything for a while after he took it off and you just stared at him, scanning over his face and the difference that time had handed to him. His features were a lot sharper now, growing into his nose and ears perfectly and you once again were hit with the reality that you’d been apart for a long time and the boy you knew was long gone.

“Sunoo validated your ticket.” He was starting to speak suddenly, awkwardness seeping into his tone due to your prolonged silent stare and you watched him dig into his pocket to retrieve the crumbled up piece of paper the parking machine had given you. “He got busy so I just brought it out.”

“He got busy?” You questioned and took a step forward away from the building, taking it from him swiftly and wincing when your finger brushed against his. “You’re the one in the band.”

He didn’t say anything to that, clearly lying about why he had been the one to bring the ticket out but making no move to correct himself or attempt to be honest with you. You didn’t really mind considering you were in a similar boat, having no real reason to rest again the building like you had other than buying yourself more time in the area.

“You’re not staying?” He was asking and his voice broke slightly which caused a large frown to form on your face, not sure why he had to even ask considering you both knew you weren’t going to watch his show.

“I’ll be back after to..” You awkwardly trailed off and lifted your hand that was clutching the parking ticket, indicating the reason you were there and watching him carefully. “Are you nervous?”

He tensed up as the familiar words fell from your lips and you felt like the air stopped moving for a second before he answered. He’d heard it asked thousands of times since it last was in your voice in that specific tone but it never bothered him before after the first year.

It was asked genuinely by other people, actually wondering if he was feeling nervous or at times doubting his abilities and using it as a way to get under his skin. Nobody ever made the simple question feel as important as you did and he understood why now that he was older and had plenty of time to think about it. You asked him, not because you thought he was or you figured he wouldn’t be able to handle the stage and the pressure, but because you knew it ignited a fire in him.

You’d ask him just to hear him repeat back in a firm voice how excited he was, to see that passion flare up in his eyes and give him an opportunity to voice some solid self confidence before he got up there to perform.

You knew right away that the phrase brought him back as far in time as it did you but your stomach turned at the blank look on his face, nothing arising to the surface at the triggered memory and instead he almost looked like he was deflating as you stood there.

“I’m just… tired.” He was eventually muttering back and clearing his throat before anxiously scratching at the back of his neck, both of you knowing the weight of his unusual answer and preparing to cripple under it once you were out of the suffocating hold his gaze had on you.

The both of you stood there for a few seconds longer before you could hear the screaming getting louder from inside, his head turning towards the building before looking back at you with a defeated expression. You knew without him saying it that he needed to go and that same feeling you had with Sunoo started to creep up again, not knowing what type of goodbye this was.

“There’s a second show tomorrow.” He was rushing out and then chewing on his lip ring as he avoided your questioning gaze. “You’ll be on the list.”

He glanced at you one more time but he seemed to understand that you weren’t going to give him a definite response, nodding his head in conclusion before he was turning around and jogging back towards the side entrance of the arena.

All the air returned to your lungs once he was finally out of sight and then immediately left again once you broke into a heavy sob, stumbling back a bit before quickly gathering your emotions and trying your best to hold yourself together.

You were quickly wiping your tears and glancing around to make sure nobody had been a witness to your abrupt meltdown, reminding yourself why you were there in the first place and heading back to your car like your world hadn’t just been taken off pause.

——

It had only taken you two seconds after the invitation fell from Heeseung’s lips to decide that you were going to go to the show.

He had said it like it was a question but the look in his eye told you that he didn’t think you’d come, but he still had invited you and that stupid part of you felt like that had to mean something. You’d had Riki pick the girls up from the concert that night and you ignored Joonie’s calls and the countless uploads she’d had from the concert.

You didn’t need to see the boys performing like nothing had happened, like your entire life hadn’t been flipped outside down with just a few sentences from the boy you’d tried your hardest to forget about the past few years.

It was a bit hypocritical considering you were currently back at the same exact place you were running from yesterday, this time walking in the opposite direction of the parking validation booth and awkwardly approaching the ticketing line. You felt like an idiot telling the staff that you were on the list, seeing their annoyed expressions and knowing they must hear it a dozen times a night from fan girls trying to get backstage.

“Nice try but there’s only ever been one name on the list and trust me, that seats never been taken.” The man was talking to you in a bored tone and your heart clenched at the implication of what he was saying.

You wondered if it was something Heeseung had done at the beginning of the tour in case you decided to come to one of the shows but he knew you well enough to know you never would and you certainly would never stride in the place without a ticket expecting to be on the list.

Eventually you figured that he had put you on there with the hopes that one day he’d have the guts to invite you and your heart shattered a bit more thinking about the fact that he never did, never even attempting as far as you were concerned and aware of. You cleared your throat awkwardly and rummaged in your bag to pull out your ID and hand it to the man silently.

His eyes flickered down to it for a second before looking back up at your face and you saw a wave of shock come over him, immediately followed by embarrassment for doubting you in the first place.

You gave him an awkward half smile and then an appreciative nod when he was stepping aside and allowing you to enter the main performance area. You were pausing at the top of the entrance way, eyes scanning over the large arena and feeling a bit sick considering how many seats were there and how few of them were empty.

You were starting to regret showing up and preparing to turn around and head back out before the show started but you were snapped out of your panic when your phone was ringing in your pocket. You were snatching it out in hopes that it was one of your friends trying to calm you down but your eyebrows furrowed when you saw it was an unknown number.

Finger hovering over the decline button, you had half the mind to consider the fact it might be Heeseung and you were answering it and putting it to your ear before you had a second to think about it.

“You actually came.” You immediately tensed up when the voice was filtering through the speaker, different and raspier but you knew who it was from the first word.

“How do you know I’m here?” You were dumbly asking and glancing around you like he was going to be standing in the shadows somewhere, frowning slightly when he laughed into the phone.

“He told them to alert him immediately if you ever showed up.” Jake was saying as an explanation and halfway confirming your suspicions about how long you’d been kept on the list despite never coming or reaching out to them. “And you’re finally here.”

“I’m not staying.” You were saying quickly and a rough edge seeped into your voice, something you hadn’t had last time he knew you but he also hadn’t been so cocky and demeaning last time you spoke to him so you were equal in that sense.

He was sighing softly and you paused at the sound, not expecting him to sound so defeated. You’d spoken to Jake more than the others over the years, only a few times but he had come home once or twice to visit family and it was hard to avoid him considering he actively was seeking you and the others out each time.

You weren’t really sure why he kept coming around and eventually you realized that he didn’t seem to know why either, looking more and more lost and less like himself every time you saw him. Jake was always so carefree and happy to be around that time you’d all spent together, genuinely seeming like he felt lucky for all of you and the music they were making together.

This new version of him was the most jarring to you out of everybody else because he had gotten sad and then he had gotten very very cold, almost angry every time you saw him and always feeling like he was on the edge of snapping.

You imagine that helped him out on the stage and you finally felt like he fit the rough drummer image that had been given to him by fans and media despite never making that connection yourself when you had known him. So to hear him sigh softly hearing that you were planning on leaving before they even performed, you were stopping in your tracks and finding yourself willing to hear him out.

“He doesn’t know you’re here yet and he’s driving himself so insane that he’s sick in the bathroom.” He was saying in a lower tone and you imagined that staff and other members were around him considering how soon the show was going to start. “No one can get him to come out but I have a feeling on who might.”

Tears were filling your eyes as he spoke about Heeseung’s condition but you were shaking your head in denial despite the fact he couldn’t see you, wiping your face with your sleeve before whispering back to him in a shaky tone. “I can’t do this Jake.”

“Please Y/N.” He was quickly retorting back and he sounded so similar to how he used to that you felt floored. His tone was genuine and filled with concern for his friend and you’d almost forgotten what he sounded like when he cared about something. “All these years you haven’t answered him, please don’t leave yet. Atleast get him on stage and then you can go and I’ll make sure he can’t find you for the rest of the time we’re here.”

Your breath was catching at the last half of his rushed statement and you were covering your mouth for a second with a shaky hand. It took you a few breaths to think of what to say and he stayed silent on the other line throughout it.

“Promise me.” You were mumbling out and clutching the device so hard you were worried it would crack, hearing nothing on the other side for a bit as your stomach bubbled with thick anxiety. “Promise me you’ll keep him away from me after this.”

It went silent again and you were almost positive that he had hung up the phone before he was speaking again in a defeated tone. “I promise.”

——

If you had gone back to the week before and told yourself that you’d be standing in a room with all of your old friends, you would’ve probably hid under the counter at work and begged future you to leave you alone.

You were trying your best to not showcase the fact that you were absolutely freaking out and filling with more and more devastation every time one of them spoke in their lifeless and annoyed tones, bickering behind you about the purpose of your presence and debating wether it was a good idea or not to allow you to be the one to try and gather Heeseung.

“He invited her for a reason Hoon.” Sunoo was sighing in your defense but he didn’t seem optimistic about it either, barely sparing you a glance since you walked through the door and anxiously checking his walkie talkie every few minutes to try and update the staff.

“Because he saw her yesterday and it fucked him up, he’s not in his right mind.” Jay was snapping before Sunghoon could answer for himself and you flinched at his loud tone, taking a step back when he was standing off the couch and throwing an arm in your general direction to emphasize that it was your fault.

You were frowning deeply at the accusation, not understanding how it could possibly be your fault that Heeseung was having a melt down especially when they didn’t seem that rare for him, his general anxiety and mental health another constant topic in the tabloids.

They continued to argue and you did your best to tune them out while simultaneously trying to ignore the fact Jungwon was silently staring at you from the corner and Jake was only a few feet away from you with his arms crossed. He hadn’t said much to come to your defense but he was continuously shooting you glances like he was trying to monitor your reactions.

You might as well have been in a room full of amped up strangers, possibly high as they paced and jittered about and a part of you felt like you were grieving now that you knew there would be no way to pretend things were still the same, no more pretending time was frozen and nothing had changed.

“Have any of you been able to calm him down this entire time?” You were suddenly asking from near the wall and it was the first time you’d spoken since you’d gotten in there.

The reaction was immediate and varying from each boy, half of them tensing up and looking more frustrated at the sound of your familiar voice and the others almost instantaneously losing the tension in their shoulders with softened eyes. It was like they hadn’t fully processed you being there until you spoke, talking around you in hypotheticals like you imagined they’d been doing over the years.

You wondered if you were a topic they were supposed to avoid mentioning like Heeseung had become for you. Then you selfishly wondered if they’d missed you at all.

Nobody answered for a while and then Jungwon was shaking his head softly, holding your gaze with a sympathetic look that caused you to nod in understanding. “Isn’t it worth a try then?”

“We have 15 minutes.” Sunghoon was saying in that same cold tone he’d been using but it held some level of defeat this time, slumping back into the couch and saying no form of the objection he had voiced so quickly earlier.

You were being directed to a hallway suddenly by Sunoo and before you could say anything or ask why he was ushering you out, he was hastily pointing to a door and scurrying off back towards the dressing room. You didn’t necessarily need him to explain, hearing the soft sobs and gags coming from behind the door now, but you wished he had given you a bit more time to collect yourself or think of something to say.

You took a deep breath and decided to not stall and try to gather some of the might you had the other night, pushing through the door and pausing once you were on the other side of it.

“If I have to tell you to fuck off one more time I’m going to get everybody in this shitty arena fired.”

Heeseung’s voice was coming from one of the stalls and your entire body locked up at the sound of it, never hearing him quite so angry before but also never hearing him sound so empty and wrecked. He was clearly holding back his sobs now that somebody was in there but you could see one of his leather boots poking into the stall next to his, laying on the floor and most likely clutching the toilet.

You were approaching the plastic door without saying anything and tugging on it softly once you were close to it, your fingers curling around the top of it and pulling it towards you with a small shake.

Heeseung’s words about the arena being shitty weren’t necessarily incorrect considering the lock on the door was immediately budging and it was flying open towards you, revealing you standing behind it to his swollen eyes and allowing you to see his frame curled up on the floor in a sickened despair.

He looked beyond surprised to see you and you were almost worried he was going to throw up again just from the shock of your arrival, his body locking up and then immediately tensing even more when you were taking a reluctant step inside the stall with him. You may have been practically strangers with a heavy history now but you still knew Heeseung better than you knew yourself most days and you felt that same comfort and familiarity as you always did.

So you were sinking to the dirty floor across from him and sighing softly, letting your head lean against the wall of the stall and glancing at him hesitantly.

“You came.” He was finally breathing out and his voice sounded tight because of your close proximity, not necessarily touching but the closest you’d been in almost half a decade. He was struggling to sit up but he eventually managed and stretched his legs out in your direction, both of you sitting in the same position across from each other.

“You invited me.” You whispered back to him with a small sad smile that was slipping away as fast as it came. “I was on the list.”

He didn’t laugh but you could tell he appreciated your attempts to lighten the situation, eyes softening slightly at the way your shoulders raised into a small casual shrug.

“What’s happening Heeseung?” You were asking him but you both knew what it was already and you felt just as sick as he looked as you said his name, almost feeling like a swear word as it fell from your lips naturally. “Why are we here right now?”

“You…” He was pausing as his voice shook and you watched him closely, not missing the way he was avoiding looking in your direction and instead staring down at the shaky hands that were picking at his fingers in his lap. “You stopped answering the letters, you wouldn’t talk to me anymore.”

Your shoulders deflated as he spoke in a hurt voice, clearly being bothered by your lack of communication and not at all understanding why you had done it in the first place. You admit that it was a bit childish on your side to completely cut him off without a final conversation but you knew Heeseung would never just let you go like you needed.

“It was only supposed to be a few months Hee, you said you’d come home and you never did.” You tried to keep your tone less accusatory than his but you were also extremely hurt by what he had done.

You’d spend the entirety of your time with Heeseung making him your source of happiness and that was your first mistake because he was always bound to leave. He was always set after something much bigger than your town could ever offer but you guess a stupid part of you thought that you would be enough for him to stay.

You didn’t want him to give up his dreams, it was the entire reason you fell for him in the first place but you just wished time could stay frozen in that summer.

It’d been years and you still could feel him sitting next to you, never smoking with the others because you didn’t even though you knew he did it when you weren’t around. He was always supporting you like that and even though neither of you ever said it out loud, you knew he loved you too. It wasn’t his fault that he loved music more and you could never compare to the feeling it gave him but you tried your hardest.

Sometimes you thought it was working, when he’d come over after practice and you’d lay together in your backyard with its overgrown grass. You’d feel it tickling against your bare skin when you laughed at a stupid joke he made and rolled in the other direction clutching your stomach.

Other times you were once again hit with the reminder that he was only temporary, you’d see him zone out listening over and over to tracks he’d been producing or his eyes would go wide with amazement any time you went to a show that wasn’t his.

And you were completely right about him being temporary up until now, watching him sit across from you with that broken expression on his face that made you sick every time you locked eyes with him. You weren’t sure what exactly started his decline, you felt guilt for playing a large part in it but you didn’t think it would be much difference if you had stuck around his life anyways.

Maybe you would’ve begged him to come home when he started going to star filled parties, too many drugs to avoid and too much pressure to fit in to not indulge. Maybe you would’ve called Yoongi and demanded for a hiatus, giving you some time to come see him or bring him back home for a week or two to calm him and his system down.

Maybe you wouldn’t have ended up on the dirty floor of a public bathroom where he was vomiting his guts out just a few minutes ago. You could’ve been back in your long grass or pressed next to him on his dads old couch, still just as young and just as silently inlove with the boy with pretty pink hair and eyes so wide and amazed you couldn’t help but drink them in.

“I would’ve stayed.” He was finally forcing out the words necessary to snap you from your thoughts, the words you’d been considering for the past few years. “If you told me to stay I would have in a second.”

“And then what?” You were retorting quickly but your tone was weak and sad instead of bitter and iced over, shaking your head softly and giving him another sad smile and humorless laugh as you considered the option. “We grow old together with you secretly hating me for ruining your dreams, I live with the guilt of making you do that.”

“I could never hate you. Nothing could ever make me hate you, trust me I’ve tried.” His tone was the opposite of yours, aggressive and nasty as he spat out the words like they burned but you knew his anger wasn’t directed at you necessarily.

You let the two of you fall into an unfamiliar silence, giving him time to collect himself before he accidentally said something he’d eventually end up regretting even more than he already was.

He didn’t say anything either and he seemed to understand what you were doing, sighing out a shuttered breath before he was scooting forward across the floor until his knees were knocking against yours. You glanced up at him and your face fell at the exhausted look on his face, leaning forward similarly until you could wrap your hands around his and squeeze them tightly with your thumbs rubbing over his calloused skin.

Heeseung was sucking in a breath at the feeling of you touching him and then he was breaking into small hiccuped sobs that left you feeling heavy and lost on what you could do to help him.

You were letting yourself sink back into the past when you were moving forward even more so you could pull him closer towards you, his upper half practically in your lap now as you cradled his head and softly pet his damp hair that was dyed black now and messily falling into his eyes.

Your own eyes were falling shut and you were resting yourself on top of him, half hugging each other and half just giving up and letting the weight of his body and yours combine into a mess of limbs and heavy sobs. It was making you feel both better and worse, feeling him so close again but not knowing if it was the last time and also holding the knowledge that you’d missed such a large portion of time with him like this.

It wasn’t possible to get back everything you’d missed, it wasn’t possible to rewind and start over and you weren’t sure there was any way to prevent this amount of hurt anyways.

You could’ve asked him to stay with you all those years ago but then you’d never see that light within him again and you know it would always be on the back of his mind, his fingers and heart always aching for more than what you could give him and you’d stay up countless nights regretting making him give that up for you.

Maybe if you had answered his letters, picked up his relentless calls and heard him out when he didn’t come home. He could’ve had a good reason or maybe just hearing him finally say he loved you would be enough for you to handle the impossible distance.

So many what ifs that you’d never get the answer to because you weren’t there and you’d never get back there again no matter how much your heart still held onto the past and your love together.

Instead you were here and this was where the road with him had led you, cradling each other as the crowd cheered for him outside and it fell on your deaf ears. You knew he wasn’t going to let you go and you weren’t going to make him, you weren’t going to make him choose again and you didn’t know if that would be enough this time but you listened to him cry and prayed it would be.

Heeseung sung out a choir of sobs and gasps into your chest and you knew you would stay with him for as long as he needed you too, until his cries died down or your legs went numb.

Until the cheers fell into silence and the fans went home for the night disappointed, at least holding the knowledge that the music would still be there tomorrow.

You still weren’t positive that he was really here with you and he still felt as fleeting and temporary as he did when you first had met him, wide eyed and stuttered conversations. It was only a small flicker of hope and comfort that your love for him was the most permanent thing you’d ever experienced.

And that small flicker was more than enough for you.

#enhypen #enhypen drabbles #enhypen fanfiction #heeseung #heeseung drabbles #heeseung x reader #jake enhypen #heeseung smut #sunghoon enhypen #heeseung fanfic #heeseung angst #heeseung au #heeseung fic #lee heeseung x reader #enhypen jay #sunoo enhypen #jungwon enhypen #enhypen riki #niki enhypen #enhypen au #enhypen smut #enhypen angst #enhypen hard thoughts #enhypen fanfic #enhypen fic

[d4rkpluto]

𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔤𝔬𝔡𝔡𝔢𝔰𝔰 𝔞𝔯𝔠𝔥𝔢𝔱𝔶𝔭𝔢

[I AM FOLLOWING AYESHA K.FAINES RESEARCH OF FEMININE ARCHETYPES]

↳ the sexual feminine archetype of the mystic archetype.

♇ when your percentage of the lover percentage is lower than 70%. and when your personal score matches with your percentage goddess the most. [your lover archetype is dominant and the mystic archetype is the second dominant too].

♇ the goddess is one of the sexual feminine archetypes that belong to the feminine archetype the mystic, whereas the other sexual feminine archetype is the enigma.

♇ people who belong to the goddess archetype are perceived to be sultry women, women who have an ethereal and laid-back essence which could be considered hypnotic and mesmerising to those around them. they have a type of emotional manner that keeps the people around them at arms-length.

♇ when developed, those who belong to the goddess archetype have an emotional intelligence that could be considered wise, and due to this, they might appear other-worldly to other people. even if they're people who are emotionally smart, due to them being distant to other people, they come off as aloof, but it is usually because they're focusing on themselves.

♇ as majority of them are naturally introverted, they are people who like solitude and isolation, sometimes like a hermit. and most of the times, they like to tend to hobbies that help them search inward, such as meditation.

♇ though, even though if they're introverted, they still like attention, they like being surrounded by their friends and loved ones.

♇ their appearance can come off as striking and to pair it off, they have a personality which could be perceived as distinct. as i have mentioned, goddess women like inner peace, so they tend to be interested in spirituality, connecting to something that is greater to them helps them feel comfortable, safe and protected.

♇ their most private area, where they feel the most comfortable is their home. it helps them keep a grounded energy. people find their energy to be alluring and pleasant, and even more enchanting and people find them to be at their most magnetic is when they're disappeared from the public, specifically when they're a celebrity. a good example, is alexa demie.

♇ she is known to hide in the shadows a lot, and sometimes, well actually majority of the times, it has people wondering what she actually wants for her career. an example can be seen in this video.

♇ overall, goddess women are stars, even said by Ayesha her self, they're a star light years away, and only a few people can see their qualities.

♇ when close to their loved ones, they appeal and encourage their dreams and future wants. when they're closed to the people they care about, they're like a warmer version of a siren, which could be considered a "mermaid". a calm mystic essence, an aura that can make people want to be around them more.

♇ the description of a goddess woman can include them having a sultry voice and lush hair. they're women who take care of their appearance as how they look likely matters to them a lot.

♇ on one hand, they can become people too fixated on other things that cut them off from their comfortability. and since they are people who attract all kinds of people, one of them being curious individuals, they sometimes get overwhelmed and get into hiding. underdeveloped goddess women sometimes are not able to express their creative and "erotic" energy.

♇ majority of the time, goddess women are peaceful and humanitarians. they're likely feminists and stand for a cause. and when speaking to them or hearing them speak, you'd realise they're usually kindly spoken people, very articulate.

♇ other people might see them as a young soul, or someone who brings refreshing energy. artistic energies, when fully developed they can easily bring their ideas to life.

♇ they like things that touch their soul, attracted to things that help them understand their roots and are not afraid to face their inner-depths. sometimes underdeveloped goddess women might fear to face their inner-depths to please other people in their life, to be a walking matt for them.

♇ as i did more research about goddess women, i understood that they can be deeply in touch with spirituality, and like to be very private. other people around them could sometimes feel like they cannot or dont live up to their potential. and sometimes this could lead people into thinking that they're stupid.

♇ they have a dreamy way of speaking, and even sometimes drag out their words. when they dont see themselves as the high value they are, they could get into relationships with people that dont really fit with their political views, specifically feminism.

♇ when it comes to their clothing, they like to wear garments that define their personality. could like aesthetics that are dark or portrays their femininity in a "broken" way. specifically lana del rey. most of them are into the vintage aesthetic, and have a style that other people want to replicate. [gabriette and alexa demie specifically].

♇ they're very expressive about their likes and dislikes, and most of the people i've watched are into getting tattoos, or are interested in having things that make their physique stand out.

♇ most of them have a strong connection with their mother and make-up, and sometimes they might allow make-up to help value themselves.

♇ goddess women understand that women can be many things, and can express themselves in ways the patriarchy dont want them to be elevated in. as they're seen as glamorous, they like to look good as they're usually under the spotlight. many goddess women have a popular partner, or even if their partner is unknown, they could be a respected person with an authoritative position. sometimes their partners could be their complete opposite.

♇ whenever goddess women are under the spotlight, the usually get meme'd a lot, or just whenever they do anything people speak about it. they could sometime feel suffocated by fame.

♇ as goddess usually represents fertility, it's not a surprise that most goddess women are into having a family of their own. but even if they want a family of their own, it doesnt mean they dont want to work, as i did research, i realised most goddess women were/are into modelling.

♇ they like to pursue a route that gives them happiness, so people in their social circle could think of them to be stubborn. they're usually questioned for their ideas and how they embrace their heritage and roots, and since they're usually questioned a lot, goddess women step into a role of being self-aware.

♇ some goddess women could be into cosmetic surgery, and can be a bit [but almost too much] into heteronrimity.

♇ their intelligence and beauty could be envied, they're open about their sexuality and most people look up to them for guidance. when doing research about them, i realised that a lot of them have been victim of sexual shaming, [even though many people have been in general, this has also happen to some of my friends who do belong to this archetype].

♇ when it comes to their appearance, a lot of them have doe/bug eyes, have luscious hair, they also have an earthly and natural type of beauty, which can make them be deemed as elegant and graceful.

♇ they like to be prepared for anything, especially career wise. and women who belong to the goddess archetype like to experience almost everything with their partner. sometimes might be seen as someone who is smothering. on the other hand, even though they like to be around their partners a lot, they also like to be private.

♇ and in a friendship group, they might be seen as the mother of the group, or you could say leader of the group. can be into making food, and also specifically the art of it. unlike the mother archetype, they dont only/mainly do it for their partner, they do it for themselves, their friends and the people they care about.

other goddesses ↴

♇ goddesses i put above are eva peron, cindy crawford, dita von teese, jisoo, grace kelly and melania trump.

♇ understanding the goddesses archetype, is that it shows that they are women who are usually do focus on themselves, and can be so to themselves to the point that other people might feel like they do not know them at all.

♇ and to make the goddesses archetype easier to comprehend i gathered characters from different tv shows or films that come under the archetype.

♇ from yellow jackets - lottie matthews, lottie. is a big example of an underdeveloped goddess archetype, though it isnt necessarily her fault due to the trauma she has gone through while stuck in the wilds. she is a very spiritual person, and even isolates herself with other people to find herself. but due to her spiritual nature, people easily found way to see her as a leader and was advised for her guidance, during the time the team were stuck in the woods, lottie was seen as somewhat as a mother [not to be confused as the mother archetype as they are striking differences between the two]. she helps other people express their emotions and speaks about spirituality that could make other people uncomfortable.

♇ from the maden men franchise - betty draper, her character strengthens my idea that a lot of goddess archetypes are models, as she was a model for a print ad. she is a character who gets with a romantic partner that has authority, her romantic partner, don who is a completely different person to her, made betty express versions of herself that she disliked and wanted to change for the better.

♇ we have the addams family - morticia addams, for the fictional goddess women, morticia addams is a patron saint of what a goddess archetype is. her husband, gomez kisses the floor she walks on, morticia is a seductress and has a striking appearance that fascinates other people and makes other want to replicate her style, in real life [like vanessa hudgens] and in the show, wednesday. she is soft spoken, almost dreamy like and could be considered as laid-back and ethereal.

♇ from the postman always rings twice - cora smith, a mysterious woman who is married to someone who has authority, [an older man]. is perceived as a character that can also be deemed as an underdeveloped goddess archetype, who uses the love a man has for her to aid her to kill her husband.

♇ the fall of house usher - verna, another mysterious woman who does keep people at arms length, people come to her to have once in a life time deal, she uses her erotic energy to lure people in and capture them. she is wise, and has a calm essence that makes people comfortable around her. verna is prepared for everything and knows how to handle obstacles like how the two siblings, specifically the man went against her deal and hunted everyone in the usher family down.

♇ we have from the infernal devices and shadow hunter chronicles - tessa gray/herondale, like the other goddess archetype, tessa gray has a romantic partner who has high authority from the novel she is from. will herondale is the leader of the clave and is well respected. aside from that, tessa is usually under the spotlight because of what she is, and is seen to be someone who is serene, wise and has a warm energy that has many people want to be around her, but as she gets older, she does keep people at an arms length. in the early books, fertility was a big theme for her, as she was unsure if she could have children because of her being a half-demon. like a goddess archetype, tessa herondale has a grounded energy and has a striking beautiful appearance that other say is unconventional.

♇ from lore olympus/greek lore - selene, being a goddess herself, selene is someone who is respected and under the spotlight as she is a prominent and important figure for those who worship her, and like most women from the goddess archetype, she is someone who wants to have many moments with her loved ones, like endymion. a deity of fertility, she is someone who likes to keep in the shadows unlike her brother, helios who is considered to be flashy. selene has a personality that could be deemed as peaceful and timid like most women under this personality type.

♇ from the witcher franchise - yennefer of vengerberg, fertility was a big element to her character, as having a child was something she was not able to do, but with geralt, ciri was able to be her child surprise. and like the other goddess archetypes, yennefer is seen with a partner of authority/power, and it being geralt. her beauty is perceived as other-worldly, and becoming [beautiful], and powerful was so important to her that she constructed herself to become a better version of herself in a painful manner. there was a moment of the show, [i'll play the games later], that there had to be much internal search because she had lost her powers for a brief moment.

♇ next from legacies, there is josie saltzman - looking within herself was a big theme for her character, because she was known to be a character who was in her twin sister's shadow, lizzie for a long time; to the point that other characters had almost forced her to become a better version of herself, and even stand up for josie to her sister. josie was almost like a glass child. her main relationship, or most known one, is with someone who is the opposite of her, penelope, someone who had high authority within the boarding school she was in. even though josie is timid and shy, she is very emotionally intelligent, which is why people like to be around her a lot. she is understanding and empathetic.

♇ lastly, there is a character from winx club, aisha - in the show aisha is one of the main characters who gave advice to other people, sometimes she can be perceived as the mother of the group, [once again, to not be thought as the mother archetype]. when aisha was younger, aisha was isolated, which kind of made her into someone who is explosive and has a strong temper. and when. the series began, aisha was seen as anti-social, but when she is gotten to know more, the people around her are more aware of her open-minded traits.

♇ as i have done my research, i gathered that a lot of enigmas are are likely going to have capricorn, taurus and scorpio in their big six; in order of how much they appeared.

♇ they are also going to have leo, aries and taurus appear in their dominant signs; in order of how much they appeared.

♇ the planets sun, saturn and moon appeared in their dominant planets the most; in order of how much they appeared.

♇ the element that appeared the most was fire, second was earth.

♇ lastly, when it comes to the modality, what appeared the most was fixed.

♇ feminine archetype masterlist

to find out what feminine archetype and sexual feminine archetype you are

buy a natal chart reading from me

masterlist

♇ pluto

#goddess archetype #the goddess archetype #the mystic archetype #mystic archetype #feminine archetype #the feminine archetype #alexa demie #lana del rey #gabriette #claire nakti #eva peron #cindy crawford #dita von teese #jisoo #grace kelly #melania trump #lottie matthews #betty draper #morticia addams #cora smith #verna tfothou #tessa gray #selene #yennefer of vengerberg #josie saltzman #aisha winx

[yan-lorkai]

Been obsessed with diafam lately and I did see you wrote a few hcs for Lilia being a father figure. Can we get some more? 👀❤️

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/N: Same, darling. Same! I've been having diafam vibes those past days and I feel that with the newest updates you guys are a little excited too, I received quite a few platonic and romantic rqs for them lately (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Lilia spoils you enough, unbearably enough. Lilia likes to match closes with each one of his sons and now with you too, lets you style his hair for him and loves when you infodump him with your newest interest. He remembers everything you said, from a to z, word by word. Though he is that kind of father who drags you to do this and that without asking your opinion, but buys you the tastiest snacks and lets you borrow his phone to play games or something. As soon as you tell him you have a crush on someone, he already knows they're not good enough for you and Lilia lets you know that. He need to get you safe and away from their tainted hands. Otherwise, a very good dad. 100% deserves a "world's best dad" cup.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Silver is calmer and more peaceful to spend time with, despite your father always instigating his brotherly instincts and asking him to protect you and his other siblings, Silver knows that you are capable of taking care of yourself. But he makes it his mission to teach you how to fight if you don't already know, he even teaches you how to fight with a sword, he doesn't want to leave you defenseless if you are in danger and need to defend yourself. Even though he is calm, Silver has his moments, hovering over your shoulder and staring at your friends to the point where it is disconcerting and they feel uncomfortable until they leave. He also likes to take naps with you or on your shoulder, loving the way you play with his hair.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ While Silver is calmer, Sebek is, surprisingly, clingier. He thinks that if Lilia chose you then there is certainly something in you and he spends a lot of time by your side, studying with you, sitting next to you in classes and during lunch, explaining the material if you don't understand and going on errands with you , all while he tries to discover what Lilia saw in you. Whatever it is, Sebek secretly enjoys your presence and protects you from the bad influences that surround you, yelling at them to stay away. Sebek is dedicated to Malleus, but also to you now, as you are the newest addition to his little family.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Malleus as a child hated being isolated in his room, so of course he helps you escape from your room every time Lilia grounds you. He usually takes you sightseeing some ruins and explains to you their stories and how they came to be. Malleus lets you take care of tamagotchi and that's his most precious possession, so you know how much it means to him. The most protective over you, by the way. With a flick of his hands he has your friends running away, afraid of him and the things he can do. But while it's temporary with Silver, with Malleus is definitely. And if you get upset over this, he'll comfort you and explain very condecendently why those were bad people you were letting in your life.

#yandere diasomnia #yandere lilia #yandere malleus #yandere silver #yandere sebek #yandere lilia x mc #yandere lilia x reader #yandere silver x mc #yandere silver x reader #yandere sebek x reader #yandere sebek x mc #yandere malleus x mc #yandere malleus x reader #malleus x reader #lilia x reader #silver x reader #sebek x reader #platonic yandere

[hwaslayer]

project: make you love me (jyh) | 13.5

♣︎ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: yunho can’t stand how you’re so wrapped up in the notorious campus fuckboy, park seonghwa. he would gladly love you the way you deserve, despite being shy, awkward and the complete opposite of seonghwa. thus, when he finds himself spending more time with you over literature reviews and random study sessions, he decides to take on the challenge to win you over.

—pairing: jeong yunho x f. reader x park seonghwa

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers/friends to lovers, college au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 1.8k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing/mature language, just a peek into some stuff that happened over break, very self indulgent honestly i just wanted more yuyu time lolol, the usual teasing between these lovebirds, making out, handjob, teensy weensy bit of spit play, unprotected sex, riding yunho after hes fresh out the shower purrrr 🤪

—a/n: hi! dropping a bonus chapter because it's like ... kinda necessary in order for the next update to make sense? more self indulgent tho LOL but it wasn't long enough to be a chapter chapter 😭 anywho, enjoy!! pls vote on my poll if you haven't already cause ya girl needs to figure out her priorities hehe ty 💕

"Get in the damn car! We're late!" Chaery yells at Seungmin as he lazily walks over after forcing for a pitstop just to get snacks. Yunho laughs as he watches from the rear view mirror, popping his mouth open when you lean over and feed him a fish ball.

"Why don't you get in and stop worrying about me? I'm getting there!" You hear Seungmin yell back as Soobin swings the door open and slides into the back seat.

"Maybe they'll never notice if we just drive off?" Soobin suggests, making Yunho chuckle again.

"He's almost to the car." 

"Why is she hella mad anyway?" Soobin shivers in his jacket.

"He's taking his sweet ol' time. Plus, you know how Chaery is. Her family is full of seasoned travelers. They don't do pitstops and stuff." You dip the fish ball into the sauce and pop it into your mouth.

"Right." Soobin sips on his cup of coffee, scooting closer to the door when Chaery and Seungmin finally slip into their seats.

"We're literally so behind now. You made Yuyu wait." She continues to go at Seungmin, making him roll his eyes.

"Yunho, I'm sorry. I really had to use the bathroom. Some people don't understand it's a thing." 

"You're good." Yunho starts up the car and instantly turns up the heat. "We've only got about an hour and a half left." 

Today, you and your friends were off to spend a few days deep in the snow; renting a huge cabin near a snowboarding and ski resort. Yunho graciously offered to drive, patiently dealing with your friends and their requests on the way over.

Yunho heads to the cabin to help drop off the bags before meeting up with the rest already at the ski resort. He pulls into valet while the rest of you hop out and head straight into the store to get some gear and rent some snowboards. You find the rest of your friends hanging around in the café, sipping on hot cocoa while waiting for your group to arrive. Everyone is in good spirits, excited to see Yunho alongside of you. Even though he's tagged along a few times, you still can't help but feel worried about Yunho. You don't want him to feel isolated or left out, especially if you and your friends already have a good bond with each other. But, he fits in so well every single time, you almost feel like he's been friends with them for as long as you have been.

He tries, and the effort shows.

Once the snowboarding finally takes off, you find out that Yunho has been snowboarding before and is pretty comfortable with it. You, on the other hand, are terrified out of your mind. It takes a few tries, a patient Yunho and constant falls before you're [at the very least] boarding in a straight path. But, you're having fun and sharing lots of laughs with your friends, and you find yourself enjoying yourself no matter the circumstance.

After an hour or so of boarding, you, Yunho and a few of your friends sit off to the side to observe everyone else and play around with the snow in the surrounding area. You give your sister a Facetime call during the brief break, getting your friends and Yunho in the screen. Your sister kept calling Yunho a cutie, demanding for you to bring him over for dinner ASAP. Yunho agrees and tells your mom and sister that he'll see them soon again, waving goodbye before helping you stand to your feet for another round of snowboarding.

You and your friends are out there for another 1.5 hours before you call it quits, heading back to the cabin for a relaxing rest of the evening before another day of playing in the snow tomorrow. Everyone pitches in to make a good, hearty dinner— Yunho and a few of the other boys grilling in the covered back patio while the girls stayed indoors and finished preparing the rest of the dishes over some drinks. Once everything is set, everyone sits at the table and quietly enjoys their food before debating what to watch for the rest of the night.

After dinner, most of the food is gone, and the group is cleaning around before you head upstairs to your shared room with Yunho. You take a shower first, while Yunho hangs out with the group downstairs, enjoying the hot water as it hits your skin. You take a good, lengthy 20 minute shower; gently moisturizing before getting into Yunho's shirt and some shorts, leaving your wet hair to air dry.

Luckily, the cabin is warm enough, but you know you'll get cold the longer you sit around. Before leaving the room, you turn on the portable heater just to warm the room a bit more before you get to bed. By the time you've headed back downstairs, a few of your friends are huddled around the living room now watching a true crime docuseries with some snacks; the rest already resting in their rooms or asleep from the eventful day.

"I'm gonna shower." Yunho kisses your cheek before excusing himself to shower. You watch for a bit before helping clean up around the kitchen and living room. You then bid your friends goodnight— the exhaustion kicking in quick that you don't really have time to sit and enjoy the rest of the docuseries they've started. When you get back into the room with a cup of tea in hand, Yunho has just turned off the shower and steps out in nothing but a towel. His hair is damp and you can't help but ogle at his frame, his body. "Hey. You didn't wanna watch?"

"No, the exhaustion is hitting me pretty badly now. I just helped clean up a bit downstairs and made some tea."

"Mm. Is the room warm enough for you?" He points at the portable heater that he's turned up a bit more.

"Yes. It's cozy." You chuckle. "Thank you." You sit on the bed with your back against the wall, watching as Yunho takes a seat on the edge. He's running a smaller wet towel across his damp hair, his back facing you. You can't help but crawl over and throw your arms over his shoulders, planting random kisses against the side of his neck and shoulders.

"Cutie." He chuckles. "What can I do for you?" 

"A kiss?" He smiles, dipping forward to connect his lips with yours in a sweet kiss. 

"You sure that's all?" He teases. "You know you can just tell me, baby."

"That's all." You continue to kiss him, hand traveling down his chest, to grazing across the tent forming in his towel. 

"Hey." He whines in between kisses, slightly hissing when you continue to gently palm him through the towel. "If you keep doing that, I won't be able to stop myself."

"Your fault for walking out of the damn bathroom when it's literally below 0 outside." He laughs, hands falling onto your hips when you crawl onto his lap.

"It was warm enough in here!"

"Sure." You playfully roll your eyes.

"Take these off." He whispers, tugging on your shorts.

"So bold." You tease as he helps you out of your shorts and bites his bottom lip.

"Mm, well. You started it." His hands come up your shirt to squeeze your sides. "Care to show me what exactly you need, love?" He smirks, a drip of a suave tone slipping through his lips.

"Mhm." You sit back a bit and run your hand up his towel to gently stroke his already-hardened member. He hisses and tilts his head back in pleasure, tempted to thrust into your hand as you pump him at a steady pace. He lets out low, strangled moans, trying his best to keep contact with you through hooded lids. You take the opportunity to spit onto his dick, letting it drip down the head and down his length while you pick up the pace. Yunho's moans are a little louder now, and hearing it drives you crazy.

"Jesus." He lowly groans. "Baby, wait, wait, wait—" He grabs at your wrist and stops you. "You'll make me cum if you keep going."

"You don't want that?"

"No. Or else, we would've gone through all that trouble of taking off your shorts for nothing." You giggle, adjusting your position to line him up at your entrance. 

"We have to be quiet."

"Do we? They have the docuseries on loud downstairs." You slowly sink down his length, lips attaching to his as you both let out soft moans while adjusting to the feeling.

"Mm, but there's still rooms across—" Yunho chases after your lips, enclosing it in a heated kiss before you can say anything else. He grips onto your hips and guides you at a steady pace, more gargled and low moans leaving him as you work him.

"They won't hear a thing, pretty. Don't worry." He smirks against your lips. "Is it really a bad thing, though?"

"Yunho." You giggle, tilting your head back in pleasure when his cock hits you in all the right places, clit rubbing against him perfectly. 

"Love when you say my name like that." He mutters against your neck, tongue swiping against the surface before he bites onto your neck. You let out a sigh just as his hand comes to your neck, gently squeezing as he watches you ride him at a steady rhythm.

"You feel so good." Your hands trail up the nape of his neck, tugging at the ends of his hair. His hands come back to your sides as he whispers in your ear, praising and cooing you straight to the edge.

Gonna keep being a good girl for me?

Riding me like you were made for me.

So pretty, so beautiful.

My baby.

And it only takes a couple of more rolls against Yunho before you're twitching and trembling in his grip, digging your nails into his shoulders as he thrusts up into you and fills you up shortly afterwards. He groans as lets out every last bit into you, lips grazing against your neck before planting a soft trail there, to your jaw, to your lips.

"That was fun." You say, making Yunho chuckle.

"Let's get cleaned up." He looks down at the towel that's now on the floor. "Again." You laugh, heading to the bathroom to clean up, get dressed and do some final touches before slipping into bed with Yunho. He instantly pulls you into his arms, wrapping one around your shoulders while you lay on his chest. "Can barely keep my eyes open now." You smile when Yunho kisses you on the forehead, letting out a content sigh with you in his arms.

"Yunho?"

"Mhm?"

"Thanks for coming along on this little trip."

"Wouldn't miss it for a thing, love." He hums against you, falling asleep in due time just to repeat the agenda all over again tomorrow.

♣︎ taglist: @s-nsanshine @soupbinlily @tyongff-ff @jiminiscricket @g1g1l @staytinyinmybpack @woomyteez @gfksz @bitchwhytho @savluvsmingi @thisisntmyrightera @hyukssunflower @miriamxsworld @tmtxtf @kuromibabe04 @lmnhead @carrietwrites @tournesol155 @persphonesorchid @txt-yaomi @mxnsxngie @h-nji @mundayoonimnida @jalapeno-princess @nakiiko @asjkdk @kunikku @idkwgoh @kyeos4ng @agust-d2 @araknoid @bintificreads @primoppang @betray-the-light @aurorasjoongie @wineyoungie @yunholuvrsblog @yungigiggles @jaerisdiction @ignoretheskies @luminouskalopsia @naeviscall @vixensss @choisansplushie @arya9111 @my-lightspirit @dazednconfusion @astro-doll-the-star @faesmingi

#yunho fanfic #yunho series #jeong yunho series #jeong yunho fanfic #ateez series #ateez x reader #ateez #yunho #jeong yunho #yunho x reader #jeong yunho x reader #ateez imagines #kpop imagines #yunho smut #yunho fluff #yunho angst #jeong yunho smut #jeong yunho fluff #jeong yunho angst #hwaslayer: project make you love me

[animeyanderelover]

Hiii love your work! Can I request Akashi, Murasakibura, Himuro, and Kuroko with a darling that doesn’t like pretty boys?

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional behavior, stalking, clinginess, manipulation, blackmailing, isolation

I don’t like pretty boys

Tetsuya Kuroko

👤If you would have called him a pretty boy in literally every other situation, Kuroko would have been over the moon. You have to consider that he is often overlooked due to his natural talent to just not be noticed by people even if he is standing right next to them. Instead you decide to go straight for his feelings by telling him that you have no interest in pretty boys like him. You might as well have just punched him in his gut and it would have probably hurt less than your instant rejection. You didn't even give him a chance... Tetsuya doesn't even try to say anything back as he instead quietly leaves the scene. He is visibly gloomy for the rest of the day though and has never been more glad that people don't notice him as he just needs some time for himself to work through his pain. He feels unfairly treated as you just judged him only based on his looks without considering his personality. He's sure that if you were to know him better, you would realise that too.

👤​Then again, he has spent more time stalking you and following you around than actually spending time with you in person. Maybe that is where the problem lies? He spends the next few days trying to gather the courage to approach you again but he always gets cold feet as there is always this clench of his heart when he tries to do so, scared that you will send him away again. Plans are made during those days where Kuroko follows you around, observes you and thinks about what the best way is to face you once again. He knows your routine by heart as he waits for you in the places he knows you will stop by eventually. Kuroko isn't the most social person by a long shot but he thinks that maybe that is the problem right now. You just haven't gotten the chance to know him well enough which is why you made this unfair assumption about him. Hopefully he will be able to change your mind because if you reject him once more, he might get a bit desperate.

Atsushi Murasakibara

🍭​I don't think he has ever given it much consideration that he would be considered quite good-looking by many others. So you can probably imagine his major confusion when you tell him very clearly that you aren't into pretty boys like him. Are you confusing him with Himuro right now? Because his friend is usually the one who is considered the pretty boy in the team. Don't worry though, you won't hurt his feelings in the slightest bit with your rejection. Because Atsushi just decides to ignore it as if it never happened in the first place. Ignorance is apparently really bliss after all. He genuinely doesn't understand what your problem is with him and because he can't understand he just brushes it off as something not important and continues to seek you out. So there you have him, a giant man who is acting like a giant baby as you decide to vehemently avoid him whenever he approaches you. Murasakibara is just as persistent though as he chases you around whenever you try to disappear.

🍭​He eventually starts to feel irritated as well as frustrated with your behavior. Why are you being so difficult? He just wants to spend his time with you. The lack of attention and care you decide to give him really upsets him to the point where he becomes uncooperative in other aspects of his life as he isn't in the mood and doesn't see the meaning behind it if you aren't around. He starts getting desperate pretty soon and attempts to somehow get your attention back on him. From following you around whilst whining like a spoiled child to trying to bribe you with his candy. It is all annoying and exhausting for you, at least until his thinning patience finally snaps and he starts getting angry with your difficult attitude. That's when he starts being physically forceful as he drags you around with him or just lifts you up as if you are a toy and carries you to a place where he can be alone with you. He even starts scaring your friends as he starts feeling very jealous that you ignore him but pay so much attention to them.

Seijuro Akashi

🏆​You're playing a very dangerous game by telling him just like that to his face that you have little to no interest in a pretty boy like him. Especially if you two are around people you can probably audibly hear the crowd around you gasping for air as you reject him as quick as you do. Even Akashi didn't expect this and for a while he is genuinely baffled as he stares at you with a surprised look. This shock quickly dies down though as he regains his composure. He feels genuinely offended which is a first for him as no one has ever dared to greatly disrespect him due to his influence and the fact that most people are at least a bit afraid of him. He lets you get away with it though. For now at least. There is only the slightest twitch of his eyebrow and the displeased glint in his eyes that gives you the chills for a short moment before it all disappears behind a neutral look he puts on. He'll ignore this for now but it isn't very nice to just judge him based on his physical appearance.

🏆​A tiny part of him still manages to feel amused by your proclamation as it is usually his appearance that earns him adoration from fans. It's almost nice that you don't fall into the same category of all of his fans but that doesn't mean that you can just reduce him to a mere pretty boy and be done with. If you do that with others, he doesn't care but don't you dare do it with him. He is much more than just a handsome face and if you allow him to prove that to you, you would do the both of you a favor. You are going to spend an increased amount of time with him from that day on and if you don't want to do it by your own free will, Seijuro can simply arrange a thing or two behind your back. Mind you, he is being considerate right because despite the manipulation he uses to influence your own life, he is still allowing you the choice of freely choosing to get to know him better. If you decide to remain stubborn until the bitter end though, he may have to show you why people are so scared of him.

Tatsuya Himuro

◾​Himuro is the definition of a pretty boy and he is absolutely adored by all of his fans who send him love letters all of the time. Perhaps he can understand your sentience somewhere as he is aware of the bad image people as attractive as him tend to have. Putting all of this aside he is definitely not very appreciative that you tossed him aside by merely judging his looks because he is not like you imagine him to be. Tatsuya has his pride and you damaged that by throwing him out without giving him the chance to even allow him to get closer to you. That is definitely a tough pill to swallow but Himuro won't give up that easily. Now his own pride is on the line which makes him even more determined because he won't allow you to just think of him in a bad light without even getting to know him properly. Have you ever considered that your way of judging people might be quite shallow? God, does he turn more arrogant after your rejection as he starts harshly judging the people you choose to hang out with instead.

◾​Despite all of the brooding emotions he doesn't let anyone else know about how he is feeling. His sole focus is on you know after all as he is determined to change your mind about him. Himuro does opt for the more reasonable route at first as he tries to interact more with you and to show you that he is more than what you think of him. If you still choose to be ignorant, he starts getting more manipulative in return. He will start guilt-tripping you then in an attempt to make you feel bad for treating him the way you do. Don't you feel bad for judging him so quickly without even knowing him? Tatsuya will even infiltrate the circle of people you spend your time with to pressure you even more by using them. The charm that you despise works on others quite well after all and whilst he feels a tad bit guilty for using your own friends against you, you aren't exactly nice either for just ignoring him only because he happens to be physically attractive either. Let's just try to get along and give him a chance , okay?

#yandere kuroko no basket #yandere kuroko’s basketball #yandere knb #yandere kuroko #yandere tetsuya kuroko #yandere murasakibara #yandere atsushi murasakibara #yandere akashi #yandere seijuro akashi #yandere himuro #yandere tatsuya himuro

[railingsofsorrow]

summary: you're being neglected by your-so-called-friends and james is there like he always is. 

warnings: self-deprecation; self-isolating; descriptions of being left aside; talk about not feeling enough.

A/N: just words I needed to hear + poor writing (have you caught on that I'm in my james potter phase?) I also wanted to say that if any of you feel like that, you're amazing and you make a difference. don't let people diminish your value. you're loved and you matter. 

w.c: 1.3K

pairing: james potter x gn!reader

navi

masterpost

✧༺༻∞

“you're quiet today,” james plots down on the couch by your side, the leather screeches as he leans closer to you just enough to respect your personal space. 

“I am quiet,” you answer, still with your attention stuck to the parchment. you were finishing an assignment due next week. it's not like you had anything else better to do. 

with a tilt of his head, he tries to peak over your shoulder, smiling softly as he caught a glimpse of your neat handwriting. he loved watching you do anything at all. it was therapeutic.

“you're more quiet than usual then,” james gives you a gentle smile. you had finally offered him your attention. “I didn't see you at lunch or at dinner.”

“I wasn't hungry.”

“I saw you in the kitchens, eating with the elves.”

your glare didn't refrain him from pushing.

“you're isolating yourself,” james says carefully. “why? did something happen?”

you survey his face, from the mole on the middle of his neck to his dirty glasses’ lenses. letting out a sigh, you pull them away from his face, minding the temples on his eyes. 

james doesn't even flinch.

“I'm frustrated, that's all.” you said lowly, muttering a spell to clean off the blurred frames. 

you place them back on his face, aware you were under his awed gaze. 

“d'you want to talk about it?” he whispered after a while, slightly blushing that he'd been staring.

you shrug, going back to your homework. 

james sighs, frustrated himself that he didn't have your full attention. that parchment was snatching all of it.

“did someone upset you? who do I need to hex?” 

you let a giggle escape and his eyes soften. there you are.

“at least six people. are you up for it?” james raises an eyebrow and nods. you rest your quill down, pursuing your lips. “have you ever felt left out?”

james blinks at the sudden question. but taking a deeper look on your eyes and their red rimmed outline he was starting to figure you out a little. the issue must be the group you called friends.

“I have,” he admits, crossing his legs, knees bumping with yours. “when I was little. before coming to hogwarts.”

“what was it like?” you ask quietly but curious. you couldn't imagine james potter of all people feeling left out. he was the boy people looked at and thought I want to be with him or I want to be him. there was no in-between. 

he fiddled with a ripped fabric in a spot on the couch, “it was hard for me to... make friends. my parents kept saying that I should just be myself but that didn't help me at all,” he let out a half-hearted laugh at the memory. “I was lonely, most of the time. before pete moved in next to me. then I felt for the first time that I didn't have to try to be someone I wasn't.”

“do they make you feel heard?” you refer to his real friends, now.

james casts you a look of understanding, “yes, they do. and they care. do you feel like that?” he knew you didn't. it hasn't been your first time with this kind of sadness on your features.

did you feel heard? seen? did your friends at least spared you their attention during conversations?

you pause.

“no.” you admit, ashamed. because now you could see. this wasn't how friends were supposed to treat you. talking over you, skipping your input as if it was nothing. forgetting you completely. just appearing when they need something. like the assignment you were finishing. one of them asked to take a look at it afterwards. let me know when you're done. 

that's all you're remembered for.

“I think people just put up with me. at first, everything is perfect and they even pretend to listen to what I say but then... I don't know what happens, or what I do — if I knew I'd change it, believe me — but they either leave or just stop noticing I'm there, you know?”

you only realize you had spoken it out loud when james is taking your hand and bringing to his cheek. he does it whenever he feels you slipping away or when he wants you to look directly at him. you do. and he has conflicting emotions dancing in his amber orbs. a fire-like anger grazed with a lot of concern. 

you feel like you could tell james anything. any time. he made you feel important. special, even. but sometimes, you think, maybe you should just stay quiet. 

you speak too much. you overshare. you're annoying. everyone thinks you're boring and that's why you shouldn't speak up. you interrupt the smooth flow in a conversation. 

just stay quiet.

“I don't see how someone would just stop noticing you. how is it even possible? you're amazing.” james intertwines your fingers and rests your joined hands against his cheek. “there's absolutely nothing you say that is insignificant. the opposite, really,” he adds, scooting closer as if he was about to tell you his darkest secret. “listen to me now, alright?” he waits for your response and you nod confused. “I don't put up with you. your company is what I look for every day, I love hearing the sound of your voice, I love the way you change your tone when you're speaking about something you cherish. but most of all, I love that you're you. nothing to alter, nothing to leave out.” 

you blinked fast.

hearing the boy in front of you mend up a piece of your heart with those words was... not surprising at all. james had that kind of magic. he didn't need to say anything to make you feel better, just be there. but when he did use his words, it was like your favourite poetry penetrating your chest, brightening your cloudy day with a peak of sunlight. 

james potter really is the sun. 

“you mean it?” you prompt, still pathetically insecure. james, in all his patient-self, kisses your hand and then your cheek to prove a point. 

a smile cracks your sad façade. 

“you don't need people who don't realize your worth, they don't deserve you,” he says, frowning slightly. “besides, they treat you badly, I've seen it.”

“I just don't want to be alone.” you confess, looking down when you felt your throat close. “it's- it's stupid. but now I'm realizing being alone is better than being around them.” 

james shook his head, “you're not alone. never. am I wearing my invisibility cloak now? you can't see me?” he says playfully, pretending to check if his body was visible. you push him slightly and he grins up at you. 

“I'm here,” he says, squeezing your hand. “always.”

letting out a breath, you rest your forehead on his shoulder, “i know, james.” 

his lips waver at the top of your head, fingers working their way up your arm. “come to the match tomorrow.” he requests. 

you look up at him with crossed eyes because of your proximity, “gryffindor plays tomorrow?”

he flashes you a lopsided smile, bopping your nose, “yes. and when I fly through the stands I want to see you there. will I?”

you pretend to think it over and his grin drops. then you smile, kissing his cheek, “of course. I'll be there.” 

sames rolls his eyes, “okay. I hope you mean that.”

“what don't I do for you, james potter?” 

james threw all of his body weight on you, pulling you both towards the mattress with a huff. you squirmed, slapping his back, he didn't move, only laughed into your shoulder. 

his triumph over putting a smile on your face couldn't be masked. making you happy was all that james cared about, and he'd make sure to keep doing that for as long as he was around.

A/N: I wish I had a james potter to cheer me up :(((

#reader insert #marauders fic #marauders era fanfiction #marauders x reader #james potter x reader #james potter imagine #james potter x you #marauders imagine #james potter x gn!reader

[oleander-nin]

Hi Nin!! Can i request the platonic yan Draxum with a human reader? Ty!!!

Platonic Yandere Draxum Headcanons

A/N, not important: I hope it's okay I did headcanons👍. I think I'm finally off my hiatus, so hi guys. Also, do you like the new format? I didn't change much, but y'know. Any criticism is welcome, constructive or not. This is supposed to be a gender neutral reader, so if I screwed up somewhere, please tell me. - Ollie

CW: kidnapping, infantilization, isolation, dark themes, yandere themes(I think that's all?)

Words: 470

Summary: Platonic Yandere Draxum Headcanons

Pre-redemption arc:

Keeps telling himself he’s going to mutate you. He hates humanity, but here you are, someone he surprisingly tolerates. He wants to mutate you, to use you as a test subject, but he can’t make himself actually do it. He doesn’t know what’s holding him back, but he knows he doesn’t want anything to go wrong when it comes to you.

He’ll probably keep you in his lair until he’s decided what to do with you, not willing to let you go and have you possibly alert the human world to his plans. Especially since he usually ends up monologuing to you a lot.

Is protective with you and will treat you like a servant or a minor assistant. He likes to explain what he’s doing science/mystic wise, even if you don’t understand. While he’s not the most patient, he’ll not fault you for not knowing what he’s talking about. You’re just a human after all.

After his lab explodes and he has to go to the surface, he’s even more determined to not let you leave his sight. He doesn’t want you talking to the foot, or other mutants in case they hurt you, so he just keeps you near him. Especially since you’re now somewhere you’re more familiar with, and have a higher chance at succeeding at escaping him.

Post redemption arc:

Still protective of you, gets grumpy when you complain about being stuck in the apartment. He doesn’t want you to leave, especially since the foot and Big Mama know what you look like because of all his dealings. He’s paranoid that one of them may grab you to use you against him.

Still doesn’t let you return home, even with you now living on the surface with him. He thinks your old family and friends don’t matter, especially since you have him to hang out with. Now that he has his job as well, he has a proper way to provide food and such for you. He sees no reason for you to leave, even more so since he doubts you’d come back.

Treats you like a small child no matter your age. Yokai live for hundreds if not thousands of years, and Draxum is definitely aware of this. You know nothing compared to him, and your life experience is negligible. You’re young and fragile and need him to help you through life. He can teach you everything you could possibly want to know.

Thinks you’re weak because you’re human. In a sense, he’s right of course, but he takes it to the extreme. He’ll act like your glass or refuse to let you do things you want because he thinks you’ll end up hurt. Unless he needs you to help him with something, he or Huginn and Muninn do everything for you.

Tag list: @f1oricide @itsyagurlchip @lordfreg @acutiewithagun @rottmnttmnt2012 @lixnininotnay @lexiechr @ssak-i

#rottmnt #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #yandere rottmnt #yandere tmnt #platonic yandere x reader #platonic x reader #platonic yandere #platonic yandere draxum #baron draxum #baron draxum x reader #draxum x reader #yandere baron draxum #platonic baron draxum #platonic baron draxum x reader #platonic yandere baron draxum #platonic yandere baron draxum x reader #platonic yandere draxum x reader #yandere draxum

[yanderes-galore]

MLP Virus AU for Pinkie Pie concept?????

Sure! Here's Pinkie Pie's section, which is essentially an alternate POV of Rainbow Dash's section. A lot of this is repeated from the Rainbow Dash concept since they are so close together (I should've just combined the two, honestly You can read either one and it sets up Rarity's portion the same)

Previous -> Rainbow Dash

Next -> Rarity

Yandere Virus! Pinkie Pie Concept

(Ft. Rainbow Dash)

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Violence, Blood/Injury, Body horror, Manipulation, Delusional behavior, Attempted isolation/Abduction, Attempted forced relationship.

By this point in the story, you have three ponies after you.

Twilight, Fluttershy, Applejack...

Now you're running away from Sweet Apple Acres, running for your life.

Pinkie Pie has been having her Pinkie Sense go off constantly.

She worries about this as it's never usually going off for days.

Normally it's something instant, something that will happen immediately.

But no... the party pony has been feeling a constant source of anxiety, even as she speaks to her friend Rainbow Dash at Sugar Cube Corner.

It doesn't help when Rainbow Dash drags you into the bakery and Pinkie sees the state you're in.

You look so scared.

Pinkie feels her heart ache when she sees you on the verge of crying.

You don't seem to want to come into the bakery, but both ponies convince you to let them help you.

Rainbow comforts you while Pinkie quickly finds your favorite type of baked good to offer you before hopping over.

Is this why she was so stressed?

Like in the Rainbow Dash POV, they don't experience any virus symptoms until later.

You're insistent on not staying with the two, for some odd reason they don't understand.

So once they know you're okay, the two let you go and part ways.

The thing with Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie in this AU is their concepts are heavily intertwined.

Rainbow goes home while Pinkie stays in Sugar Cube Corner.

While the two begin to experience some symptoms, they actually work together for some time.

Why? Well...

Both of them begin to notice Twilight, Fluttershy, and Applejack roaming about...

They can tell something is wrong due to their distorted appearance.

By this point, other ponies begin to hide in their homes.

No pony knows what's going on....

Growing concerned for your well-being, Rainbow and Pinkie vow to each other to find you and protect you.

Rainbow surveys the skies while Pinkie searches the ground.

The virus/curse already urges them to find you anyways.

So, at first both ponies think they want to protect you.

In a way... they do...

But they're just as infected as all the rest.

By the point you see the two again, you can see the signs.

Which causes you to run...

and them to chase.

Rainbow is the faster pony, tackling you to the ground.

You can see her coat and mane are dulled, her ribs showing a bit... blood coats her hooves and her eyes are bloodshot.

The grin she has terrifies you to your core... a familiar twisted sight for you.

"Where ya going!? It's dangerous out here! We should go... I can protect you!"

In her delusional sight, Pinkie saw Rainbow Dash tackle you.

Pinkie can now notice Rainbow's infected behavior, she's only lucid for a few moments before she throws herself into the pegasus.

The two no doubt fight for a few moments before realizing you're gone, covering each other in injuries.

You run before the pegasus or earth pony can catch you.

You don't doubt the two will smother you like the others...

So you make a run for a cave, hoping to hide until help arrives...

A temporary relief from the chaos you no doubt caused with Twilight.

#yandere my little pony #yandere mlp #yandere pinkie pie #yandere virus pinkie pie #yandere infected pinkie pie #yandere mlp virus au

[spenzitz]

Heyy!! I sincerely love what you write and I would love to see what toge would do if y/n pretended like they don't understand what he's trying to say!!, It'd be a really fun reaction :D

WHAT?

you pretend to not understand inumaki >;( inumaki x gn!reader, pre-relationship, pouty inumaki

a/n ~ i'm so sorry i never got to this my love, this really was so cute though :( words ~ 943

inumaki is a massive baby. anytime he gets a scrape or bruise, you know he's going to whine and complain for days. not to mention when his throat is sore from a long day of missions, the second years will never hear the end of it. he loves to complain.

for a guy who can barely communicate verbally, inumaki loves to talk. he's always texting one of you or blowing up the group chat with gossip about the first years that literally none of you care about. poor yuta gets woken up at 2 am more often than not by inumaki's rambling. he just doesn't have the heart to mute the group chat, he misses you guys!!

since yuta has been away, you have been inumaki's primary companion. he texts you practically every hour of the day and definitely every day.

you were the perfect target for his ranting. you and inumaki were usually paired together for missions and training, and he had the biggest crush on you.

most days, he followed you around like a lost puppy, and, as maki often pointed out, you never stopped him. this may or may not be because you also had a crush on him, but you'd never admit that.

one day, you wake up late for training. not uncharacteristic of you, but you didn't make it a habit either. when you finally show up to training you're groggy and still half-asleep. everyone could tell you were still tired with the bags under your eyes, sloppily thrown on uniform, and constant yawning. inumaki must not have cared.

just like every morning, he's immediately on you(figuratively) and blabbering rice ball ingredients while simultaneously blowing up your phone. usually, you get the general idea of what he's saying, but this morning you just can't.

"what?" you say, staring at him blankly as if he had the ability to elaborate further. he rolls his eyes and returns your blank stare. "tuna," he says, pointing to his phone. "salmon cod roe." he then points to your phone. "ok, fine," you sigh, taking out your phone and reading his thesis on why nobara and maki are 'totally made for each other' as inumaki put it. you giggled at his seriousness over such a trivial topic. he was, no doubt, a hopeless romantic, how cute.

as you text him back and forth while exchanging glances here and there, you think about frustrated he was when you didn't get what he was saying. this made you wonder how he would react if you... messed with him a little.

your plan was simple. you just wanted to see how long you could go pretending to not understand him and how he would react. you decided to include the second years in your plan but kept the first years in the dark, per panda's request.

it didn't take inumaki long to figure out what you guys were doing, and he was having none of it. no matter how many times he points to something or someone and yells, "bonito flakes!" or "tuna!" you all just give him confused looks and ask him what he means.

after a while, inumaki goes and pouts on the couch in the common room and spams yuta with messages complaining about you guys. while inumaki is definitely playing it up for sympathy, he still feels isolated. suddenly, he's back to feeling like a little kid who didn't have any friends.

he puts his phone down and sighs. he knows yuta is asleep right now. fuck timezones, he thinks. he's alone. inumaki knows you guys are just messing with him, and he doesn't want to seem weak to you, so he just rolls over and pouts on his own.

sometime throughout the day, you had all lost track of inumaki. he just up and disappeared. you all texted him to ask where he was, but he didn't respond to any of you. you decided to all split up and look for inumaki. you were only teasing him, but if he wasn't begging for attention, then there was probably something wrong.

eventually, you find him laying on the couch in the common room, dozing off on his own. he was laying on his side facing the back of the couch. you thought he looked so lonely like that. inumaki was always joking around, it was hard to imagine him being so down like this.

he hears you walk up to him and kneel beside the couch, but he doesn't budge. he's trying to pretend he's asleep so he doesn't have to face you, but it's no use.

you gently wrap your arms around his curled-up body and rest your head on top of his. a blush slowly creeps up inumaki's face as he realizes what's happening. he's glad he's facing away from you.

"i'm sorry," you say quietly as you squeeze him a little tighter.

"it was my idea, and it was cute at first," you start. inumaki's eyes widen, still facing the couch, face fully flushed and heart racing. you were hugging him and calling him cute. he just might explode.

"but we took it too far. i'm really sorry toge." you sink your head lower as you start pulling away. you were going to leave him be now that you said your peace, but inumaki didn't really want that.

you try to pull away, but inumaki grips your arm wrapped around his front and says, "bonito flakes."

he wanted you to stay.

"ok," you whisper out, pulling him closer to the edge of the couch so you can hold him closer. "I'll stay."

you always understood exactly what he meant.

i'm the worst :(

masterlist

#inumaki x reader #toge inumaki x reader #inumaki toge x reader #inumaki fluff #jjk x reader

[padfootagain]

Like Tracing Lines

Hello ! Today, we’re answering an anonymous request for the Darkling : “A Darkling request, please. May I have a Durast artist!reader who's extremely introverted. She just wants to draw in somewhere quite to draw designs, etc. especially she doesn't want anyone to see what she's drawing or who. And it only got worse when the sun summoner came.

You can choose how this goes, as long as it's a happy ending sksksk. I just really want an angst with an eventual happy ending, and I really love your writings Ridjsjsjs”

Thank you so much for your request, anon! I hope you enjoythe fic I’ve written for you!

I hope you all like this cute piece! Let me know what you think!

****

Pairing: The Darkling x reader

Warnings: a tiny bit of angst, hurt/comfort, an awful lot of fluff

Summary: The Darkling has always kept an eye on you, from afar, although he doesn’t admit why. But when the Sun Summoner arrives at the Little Palace, your lonely habits seem to grow exponentially, and he is more and more worried about you.

Word Count: 2074

The Darkling’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist

You don’t worry yourself over the time you spend on your own, nor the fact that your self-isolation has increased these days. After all, people are used to it. You’re introverted, possibly too much so. It’s simply reassuring, to be left alone.

The life in the Little Palace can be crowded, sometimes. For someone as introverted as you, it is often too much. You find solace and peace in drawing, though. Mostly designs, sometimes sceneries, even portraits, every once in a while.

It’s soothing. Tracing lines on paper, forcing them to take shape, adding shadows, adding life. It’s therapeutic, at this point.

Everyone at the Little Palace knows that your drawings are off-limits, though. No one has ever been granted the right to look at them. You keep their beauty hidden for your own eyes; not out of selfishness, but simply because you assume that no one would understand them. Not the way you do.

After all, you see the world through the eyes of a Durast, and a talented one at that. You and David work a lot together, mostly because you are both equally talented and curious about everything. But if his world translates mostly through numbers and long silences, yours bubbles out of your fingers and spills into shapes on paper.

But when Alina Starkov arrived at the Little Palace, a little too eager to make friends, she asked about your drawings. And it would have been fine, because she was new, and couldn’t know that you preferred to keep your drawings to yourself. You closed up a lot more when she insisted, though. And when she started to ask you regularly what you were currently drawing  you grew quieter than usual, folded yourself back into a pocket-size version of your own self that you could hide away in your bedroom, in the safety of the Fabricator laboratories, or in long walks under the moonlight, when it was too dark for anyone to be awake.

If people did notice – which you doubt, in all fairness – no one spoke a word about it. You reckon that only a handful of Fabricators care about you enough to notice anyway.

You’re mistaken, though. There is someone else who cares, a little too much to his own liking, even. There is someone who has noticed the way you disappear these days, the way you try to look even smaller than before, to look invisible, avoiding to be noticed.

There is someone else who has noticed, and he is worried.

Of course, he has noticed. The Darkling has been away from the Little Palace for a few months now, fighting battles, planning the next phases of the wars. When Alina arrived, obviously, he brought her home, joining back his War Room, the safe halls he had built centuries before. And even if he shouldn’t have rejoiced at the thought of spending time with you again, he did.

There is something about you, he can’t explain it. Something soothing, something quiet, something… good. The type of goodness he once longed to protect, the kind he had spent a long time fighting for; until the weight of time and suffering darkened his soul and blinded him.

He found back some of the brightness of his earlier days in you, though. Something that made him long for something beyond himself, for something he couldn’t have.

Peace. Quiet. A normal life…

You have grown closer over the past few years, you working closely with him as a Fabricator. You are friends, or even, a little more than that, even if none of you care to admit it.

Of course, he noticed the way you fled, even before him. Only a few days after Alina’s arrival, and you were already spending hours locked away in your room, hiding in the library…

He knows too well what it is to hide, and he doesn’t want you to do so. Not to this extent, at least. You seem frightened, these days, and he can’t have that.

He’s built the Little Palace in hopes to banish fear from Grisha’ faces. He can’t bear the sight upon your features…

When you disappear again, right after dinner, he can’t take it anymore. Instead of heading to his room, he follows you, using his shadows to remain unnoticed. Until you’ve settled in an alcove, in a deserted corner of the library. He remains quiet, out of the light of the small candle you’ve brought along, and he watches you as you take a sketchbook and a pencil out of your pocket. You’ll be drawing, perhaps the moon, the stars, the trees beyond the window against which you’re resting your shoulder now. Perhaps some new idea plaguing your mind. He catches himself before he can hope that you could think of him…

He lets his shadows vanish, slowly, he calls back the darkness to make himself visible. He purposefully drags his feet over the stones to make a little noise, as to not surprise you too much. You freeze as you hear the noise, slowly turn to him.

And he shouldn’t think about the way the light plays with your eyelashes, the way the warm golden light of the candle mingles with the silvery one of the moon to bathe your features in a perfect light. He shouldn’t think, then, about how beautiful you are. About the way he longs to reach out. About how he doesn’t feel so lonely, now that your gaze has caught his. He shouldn’t think about the way you visibly relax as you recognize him. He shouldn’t hope that you like seeing him, here, by your side. He shouldn’t long for it.

And yet, there he is…

“Good evening, Y/N.”

His voice is low, cold, a tone unreadable. As usual. You grin.

“Good evening, sir.”

He chuckles, looks up at you.

“There’s no one else, Y/N.”

He notices the way your breath catches before you speak, but doesn’t acknowledge it. He’s too old to claim such details as victories.

“Good evening, Aleksander.”

You share a smile, the kind brighter than the ones he gives everybody else but you.

He walks closer again, standing by the wall without leaning against it, facing you.

“Is there something I can do for you?” you ask him, closing your sketchbook in a hurry.

But he wasn’t looking at it. He knows better than that.

“You could answer my questions.”

You raise an eyebrow in surprise, but let him continue.

He crosses his arms before his chest.

“Why are you hiding this way?”

You avert your eyes, fiddling with your pencil.

“I’m not hiding more than usual. You know me. I enjoy being on my own.”

“But you usually spend less time alone. Is there something wrong?”

His voice grows concerned, even if it is tainted with its usual coldness, the one that usually makes his emotions unrecognisable. He allows himself to let just a speck of his armour down with you though, just enough to let you guess that his worry is genuine.

You shrug, but his stare is heavy on your frame, making you bend your head and shoulders, and you can’t hold back when he’s like this: presence too strong, almost unbearable…

“I… I’m quite bothered by Alina Starkov.”

He frowns, seemingly puzzled.

“Am I asking too much from you? Are you and David too pressured?”

“No, no, no! That’s not it! It is simply… it’s stupid.”

You’re surprised when he walks closer, and even more so when he reaches for your chin, a tender hold between his thumb and his index finger. You don’t resist when he guides your head upwards, making you look at him, irises as dark as his shadows…

“What is it, Y/N? You can tell me. I’ll take care of it.”

There is something threatening in his voice, a tremor that’s never there when he speaks to you. But he doesn’t speak of you, then. He speaks of what he will do to whoever dares to hurt you…

You smile.

“It’s truly nothing. I’m just… being extra-shy.”

You heave a sigh, but Aleksander doesn’t have to encourage you again, you continue on your own.

“Alina is asking about my drawings. A lot. Too much. She doesn’t seem to understand the word ‘no’.”

You give him a humorous smile, but you seem too fragile for it to be genuine.

He nods, a small frown creasing his brow.

“I will talk to her,” he says, but you shake your head.

“It’s nothing. I’m sure she doesn’t even mean any harm. I’m just… It’s personal, you see. Maybe it’s silly, but it’s like… having someone read your diary or… your mind even. If it makes sense. It’s silly, isn’t it?”

You expect a harsh answer, you don’t know why. Because Aleksander has never been harsh with you. On the contrary, if his tone is always cold, he’s never said anything mean or hurtful to you. His voice is often a little lower, you like to believe it’s even a little warmer… but then again, you like to long for unreachable things.

You’re oblivious to the fact that his voice is warmer when he speaks to you.

The harsh answer doesn’t come. Instead, his fingers slide from your chin to your jaw, up to cup your cheek. His thumb is tender as it strokes your skin. There is a rush of power coursing through your vein because of his amplifying qualities, but you barely notice it, the feeling hidden by your pounding heart and the intensity of his stare.

No matter the butterflies in your stomach, or the rush of your heart, it still feels reassuring, his feathery touch across your cheek. Soothing. Almost like tracing lines on a page.

When Aleksander speaks again, you’ve never heard his voice so soft.

“It is not silly. We all have our secrets, and our own ways to deal with our demons. I will talk to Alina, make sure she does not bother you again. I want you to feel safe in these halls. I do not want you to feel like you need to hide, not here. Not when you are under my protection. Do you understand?”

You nod, although you’re not sure to understand. Not the full extent of his words, at least.

You’re disappointed when his touch disappears, his fingers slowly slipping down the length of your cheek, the pads hanging at your jawline a moment longer, but he reluctantly pulls away, eventually.

“You should rest,” he goes on, his voice colder again, his tone difficult to read, back to its usual mysteries.

You nod, and he turns to leave. You don’t know what comes over you when you call for him again.

“Aleksander!”

He stops, slowly turns to you. There is something puzzled in his frown.

You have no idea where the strength is coming from, but you speak the words anyway.

“Would you like to take a walk? With… with me?”

His puzzle frown turns into a surprised raise of his eyebrow.

“Now?” he asks, and there’s something almost amused in the way the corner of his mouth curves upwards, just a little bit.

“I mean… unless it is too late…”

You fall silent, and he adores seeing you this nervous. It’s endearing.

He shouldn’t let you in so easily. But then again, you look lovely, under the lights of the candle and the moon, and he longs to touch your skin again, no matter the excuse that would allow the contact.

He offers you his open hand.

“Shall we?”

The grin you give him is brighter than any light Alina could ever summon.

And he knows that he is making a mistake as soon as your fingers brush his palm. He knows he is making his own life immensely more complicated that it ought to be by letting you in. He should be focused on seducing Alina Starkov, on looking for the Stag, on planning his wars, on planning his next move against the king.

But then again, your hand is warm against his cold one. Your skin is smooth, your touch reassuring, and you make his heart skip a beat, in a way it hasn’t jumped for decades, maybe even for centuries.

Perhaps, just this once, just for tonight… just for you, he could make his life a little more complicated. Perhaps, just for this once, he could make himself a little weaker, a little more vulnerable… just for you.

************************

Taglist : @reg-arcturus-black @wolfmoonmusic

#the darkling #the darkling x reader #the darkling x y/n #the darkling x you #the darkling fanfic #aleksander morozova #aleksander x reader #aleksander x y/n #aleksander fanfiction #the darkling oneshot #fanfiction #fanfic #writing

[kingofanemptyworld]

Rin, identity issues, and the complications of being an isolated, alienated teenager

It feels sort of weird to say but I generally don’t head canon characters as having particular sexualities. Whatever people go for in fics is usually fine with me - gay, lesbian, bi, pan, something more general like queer. As long as it makes sense for the story they’ve built and the character they’ve shaped to fit it, I’m good. Unless you’re ignoring a canon LGBTQ+ sexuality, in which case, yeah, I’ll take issue with that.

But anyway. Rin.

I’ve got my personal ship for him (BonRin my beloved), but regardless of the pairing I see him as bisexual. He’s so open with his infatuation with Shiemi, and okay, sure, fandom likes to ignore the love interest in shounen for the most part because we’ve got gay ships to peddle. But I don’t see the point in that unless it really reads like it’s a front, or a result of a character suppressing themselves for one reason or another. And with Rin, I think it’s pretty clear his affection for Shiemi is sincere. You technically have the in-universe evidence of the demon that brought out his true desires to back that up, but even without it, Rin likes her. It’s complicated because of Yukio and Shiemi’s own inexperience with romance, and yet I never once doubt he really likes her.

That being said… he’s very appreciative of the guys in his life, too. (Peddling my gay ship here) Bon in particular, considering he’s often admiring how cool he thinks Bon is, that his haircut suits him whether it’s the blonde rooster look or the undercut. If you don’t want to see it as romantic interest, that’s your prerogative, but to me Rin comes across as seeing cool and cute as different traits he finds attractive (in Bon and Shiemi respectively).

I also think his bisexuality would fit neatly into his narrative struggles to “pass” throughout the early parts of the series. Rin has grown up as the neighborhood problem child, ostracized for being violent, and eventually he decides he’s fine with just his brother and his father — and the rest of the monastery, presumably — for company. (Except that’s absolutely not true and clearly he’s starved for friendship and support.) People looked at him and saw a monster, even before his demonic heritage made an appearance; why would he bother giving them even more ammunition when it comes to reasons to hate him? So no matter when he figured out his attraction to guys, he’s not going to lean into it, because he also likes girls, right? (Ignoring for a moment that bisexuality is a lot more nuanced than that.)

Rin likes girls, Rin is human — that’s what’s going to get people to like him, or at the very least tolerate him. That he likes guys, that he’s half demon, he can shove that shit down and pretend it doesn’t exist. Lock up any stray thoughts and keep the sword sheathed around anyone who doesn’t already know.

(Excuse me for being amused by Rin wielding his humanity and supposed heterosexuality as a sword and shield.)

The problem, of course, is that he can’t keep up the facade forever. The narrative won’t let him. Rin has to embrace his demonic side, because it’s the only way to move forward and to continue to help his loved ones. And once he’s moved past the issue of his friends being upset over the deception, when they understand he’s still Rin despite what he’d hidden from them, Rin is finally allowed to be himself. He uses his flames, he lets his tail move freely in the open around the Cram School kids. Rin still doesn’t like this side of himself — it’s inextricably tied to every moment of pain and isolation he’s dealt with his entire life, including the death of Father Fujimoto (and, y’know, his mom). But he is moving forward, he’s trying to adapt.

And isn’t that some great fucking subtext for his bisexuality, too?

#king’s court #blue exorcist #ao no exorcist #okumura rin #rin okumura #bonrin #because I love them #anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk #I probably made more sense in my head than I did writing everything out #but oh well #there’s a similar conversation to be had about yukio and his suppression/obsession that develops #but I am not qualified for that one #also I promised myself when I made this blog that I’d try to be engaged with the fandoms I got into #because the one I’d sunk a lot of time and effort into on my main no long brings me much joy and I miss interacting with people #so. uh. here I am I guess #god this is probably less compelling than my season 2 analysis of bnha seven years after it aired

[shogvnate]

GODS & MONSTERS. yan! re8 ladies x reader.

general yandere headcanons + snippets pt 1.

contains; mother miranda, mia winters.

warnings; extremely toxic and unhealthy behavior, broken mindset, body mutilation on miranda's part, potentially triggering content, yandere. you've been warned.

⸻ 🐦‍⬛ mother miranda

obsessive, stalker, and training type

arguably the worst.

other than how to revive her deceased daughter, her thoughts revolve around you, you, and you. It drives her absolutely insane that she's drifting from her original plans of marking you as just another one of her failed experiments.

you can never feel alone, no, not with her being lovesick.

her crows are always watching, always listening.

she knows everything, don't try to hide anything from her, it never ends well.

she despises disobedience, no one wants a darling who's rebellious, no?

at some point she'll definitely break your mind, it's unavoidable, basically.

rarely ever affectionate, shows her love in other extreme ways such as giving gifts (eg. putting a golden bracelet still attached to a severed hand in front of your bedroom door for your 'anniversary', wrapped in the guts of the lycan who attacked you earlier that week), and of course, words of affirmation.

she truly does love you in her own sick and twisted way, but oh, darling, she's too far gone to save.

"don't deny me. worship me, acknowledge me as your one and only savior, and you shall find what you need," her smile was like a blank canvas, begging for someone to add value to it. it made you sick the more you think about it.

because she didn't want no simple mortal.

she wanted you.

miranda drowned herself in the way you gazed at her numbly, twirling a lock of your hair in her clawed fingers. "anything you could ever possibly need will be with me."

how you hated her smile.

⸻ ❄ mia winters

removal, isolating, and manipulative type.

mia doesn't like it when you smile at anyone other than her. she doesn't know why, but she loathes the feeling of being ignored for someone who clearly doesn't fit the standards for someone like you.

she goes to unhealthy measures to make you stay by her side. gaslighting, threats, guilt tripping, you name it.

someone asking you out for lunch? they didn't show up for lunch and they never talk to you again.

gets scolded by her peers due to her constantly being in your shadow and controlling everything you do but she shrugged them off.

most of the time she's not aware of how she's acting like she can't breathe without you being in the same room as her but when pointed out by you, she usually apologizes.

physically affectionate, too physically affectionate. so much so that she comes off as smothering.

unlike miranda, she can still grow and change as a person so you have hope…?

"mia, this isn't right." you pushed her away slightly. she was getting too comfortable in your personal space. it was supposed to be the only thing she'll never get a hand on but she managed to do so in the end too.

she already took too much from your life. your friends, your co-workers, your favorite florist from the subway, your bed, your house, oh the list goes on forever.

the most outrageous fact was that you were the one who actually let her do whatever she wanted. now look where that got you.

"what makes you say that?"

there it is.

her frown, something she knows you can't stand seeing.

"i thought you knew i'm only doing this because i love you?"

"it's just…" you bit the inside of your cheek, "it feels... wrong."

"tell me more about it, maybe I can help you understand how I see you," she suggested, but when you looked at her dull eyes and warm smile, you could hear something on the back of your mind telling you not to push it.

you sighed, opening your arms for her to bury herself in again.

"changed your mind?" she cooed.

"forget I said anything, mia."

‎

‎

#mia winters x reader #re8 mia winters #mia winters #mother miranda x reader #mother miranda #x reader #yandere #yandere headcanons #yandere re8 #yandere re8 x reader #yandere mother miranda #yandere mia winters #yandere x reader #writing this was wild bro

[p8rasite]

FINE.  ›  SUNG HANBIN ݃ 0612

synopsis.. where hanbin says it too often, he starts to believe he is.. until he isn’t.

muses.. roommate! hanbin x gn! reader

pantone.. angst & comfort ft. and they were roommates

cw + tap the mic.. self-doubt, reader kinda dislikes hanbin & mention of drinks + first zb1 writing let’s gaur! this was a mix of request & word vomit so i hope this is good enough 🥺 also new layout : @/stealanity & @/chiyuv

“no one’s here, come again in four to seven business weeks.”

you bite the inside of your cheek. as clear as it is that hanbin doesn’t want to entertain anyone at the moment, you refuse to let him be. not when he’s isolating himself within those four walls. not when you can just tug that handle and let yourself in.

so you do.

the abrupt bang of the door against the wall was slightly.. over the top, but at least it got his attention. well, more like his frown, but you can be bothered about the details some other time.

“what are you doing in here?” he mumbles, voice lacking its usual coat of vibrancy. this time, it’s soft and fragile, just like its owner.

you shrug your shoulders. “the kitchen told me you haven’t visited it in a few days so i’m checking in on you on their behalf.”

he chuckles, but even that sounds so hollow. another sign that he isn’t your roommate, but a shell of him. and as much as you hate to admit it, you’re even more a tad bit worried.

“may i?” you gesture to the space next to him, shortly receiving a nod. sitting on the floor—legs stretched out and back slouched against the wall—isn’t ideal, especially not when there’s a queen sized bed just a few steps away. although, given why you’re here in the first place, you suppose you could refrain from complaining this time.

(singular—you’re already stressing that before your friends can make assumptions.)

the two of you let silence wrap around you like a blanket, one neither of you seem eager to remove. you excuse your awkwardness by claiming you want to take in your new surroundings before moving further. to which, in fairness, makes sense because this is your first time in his room.

weird, isn’t it? living in a place where you’re familiar with everything but your roommate and his space. there were times where he left his door ajar enough for you to catch glimpses inside, but nothing could have prepared you to see it in its entirety.

so tidy, so cozy, so.. hanbin.

the young man in question fidgets with his sweater’s sleeve, a loose thread in particular. a translucent pane of absentmindedness hovers over his cocoa-tinted irises as he twists the material between his lithe fingers.

“i don’t know what’s missing,” hanbin gauges your reaction (seemingly blank, actually surprised) before continuing. “i gave everything i had to them, constantly tried to do and be my best self to make up for the things i lack, yet they still left.”

you nervously rub your palms upon your thighs, unsure where to pick up after such a heavy confession. there’s also that guilt that chews on your soul as you come to realize that this little mister perfect persona of his isn’t just for attracting people.

it’s supposed to convince those he loves to stay.

with this newfound understanding, you finally speak up, “them leaving isn’t on you.”

his brows furrow, lips slightly parting to reject your words but you lift your hand to cover his mouth. probably not the best idea, ‘specially not when he can just make muffled sounds through the makeshift gag, but it’ll have to do. all you need is for him to listen to you, no interruptions allowed.

“you gave almost all of yourself to them, which isn’t wrong—almost every person who’s been in love has done that. but that isn’t enough to make the relationship work because there’s two of you. now, either it’s a responsibility that they can’t or don’t want to face, which is why they broke up with you.

whichever it is, the fault still lies with them. and that, binnie, is why you shouldn’t be beating yourself up on this. yes, it’s okay to grieve what has been lost. but at the end of the day, you should acknowledge and accept that it isn’t your fault.”

you’re completely winded by the end of your speech, you don’t realize your hand had pulled away halfway through it. but then you notice the upward curve of his lips, and your eyes instinctively narrow at the suspicious sight.

“did i say something funny?”

he shakes his head and points out, “you called me binnie.”

..damn. you were so caught up in your rant that you hadn’t noticed your mistake. with a light hit at his shoulder, you grumble, “don’t read too deep into it, i just heard one of your friends constantly call you that so it slipped.”

“are you sure~?”

“yes.”

“very sure~?”

“..‘right, that’s the end of our therapy session. i expect you to pay me with a cup of karak tea later.” a groan emerges from the deepest part of your tired soul as you get back on your feet, backside sore from maintaining the same position for at least 10 minutes.

right as you’re on your way out, hanbin calls your name. intrigued confused as to what else he’d need, you take the chance and turn around. those busy fingers you noticed earlier? now they’re put together to make a unique heart gesture.

“thank you for keeping me company and opening my eyes to the bigger picture.” the warmth and cheeriness hasn’t been fully restored yet, but you can hear a sliver. and regardless of whether you admit it or not, you feel proud of yourself for assisting in bringing it back.

“no need to thank me, matters like this are why roommates were made.”

(uh huh, sure..)

❀ ... ⃕ not sure if i’ll make a taglist but feel free to donate to my kofi ! now, would you like to return to the masterlist? yes / no.

#zb1 #zerobaseone #zb1 x reader #zerobaseone scenarios #zerobaseone imagines #sung hanbin #zb1 imagines #zb1 scenarios #hanbin imagines #hanbin scenarios #sung hanbin imagines #sung hanbin scenarios #zerobaseone x reader #hanbin x reader #sung hanbin x reader

[angelyuji]

yandere superman headcanons

tw kidnapping, "nice" guys/incel behavior (kinda), isolation as punishment, manipulation, yandere stuff... the usual

yandere clark kent x gn!reader

diana prince is next guys I LOVE WOMEN!!! lemme know abt any tags i miss or just any other superman thoughts (yandere or not) cuz i love superman a lot

hes so big and buff and strong

hhnhsdngnnhnhnngnfhgnnngngn

sorry

ive been obsessed with superman and lois recently and i thought to myself “i need him so bad id do unspeakable things”

ALSOOOOOO have u guys seen the new superman??? ohmygodddd HELLOOO SAILOR

anyway here we go :)

sweetest kindest angel alive… at first glance

actual clark is genuinely the best sweetest guy in the world and i don’t think that would technically change but if anything he’d start buying into the incel/nice guy pills and that’s what would warp him

he’s literally sooo sweet to you (i cant get over how much a of cutie pie clark kent is)

ok pause lemme start from the beginning

when he first met you, he was e n a m o u r e d like he thinks youre the most beautiful person in the world type stuff

at first, the relationship is normal, you guys are friends, study buddies, coworkers, yk normal shit

he’s still super in love but hes kinda aware that its one-sided and he can’t make you like him

you guys are super close friends tho

but as his crush progresses, he starts to consult more than his friends and normal relationship advice, he starts to consult incel chatrooms and subreddits

he wants to go further than friendship with you, but all the guys in these chatrooms are telling him awful things abt u. for example:

‘hi! requesting help for getting out of the friendzone with my friend’ i’ve been friends with them for a long time, but i see them as more than a friend. ive had to watch as they date all these awful people and i just want them to see me more than a friend. any advice is appreciated!

– dude these ungrateful bitches are never gonna see u

– people like them never see the good guy until its too late

– u just gotta make them like u, nobody understands the nice guy until u make them

– all of these responses are so weird, just be normal and flirt a little!

ur stupid fuckign idiot nice guys don’t get a chance till u make them give u chance

women are so fucking stupid

reading all these “helpful” comments really warped his mindset

he went from innocent farm boy to incel misogynist becuz

they have to be right! like why else have u not given him the time of day as more than a friend

so soon, ur gonna notice these changes

he went from being supportive bestie to making snide comments, putting you down, making moves on you that you clearly don’t want

ur hurt, heartbroken, your friend became something unrecognizable

u’ll ask for some distance, just to think abt if u want to continue the friendship and clark will realize that he can’t make you like him from just this

so you’re gonna go home, take a nap, and next thing you know you’re getting snatched from bed by freaking superman

he genuinely believes he’s done the right thing

he’ll bring u to the fortress first. he has everything set up already, so u wont freeze or starve to death

i wont bore with the details but he would NEVER lay a hand on u

that’s NOT my superman

its more like

“i need you to eat something.” clark begs you, his eyes filled with worry. he had crouched down next to where you sat. clark had given you free-reign around his fortress, but you chose to sit in the corner near the entrance.

“fuck you.” you turn away from him, anger dripping from your voice. you haven’t eaten since he brought you to his ice castle, but you can’t remember how long ago that was. you missed home, your friends, your family. you missed freedom. you hear clark sigh.

“you’re gonna get sick if you keep going like this, (y/n).” his hand touches your face and you slap his hand away. you know there was no way you could hurt superman, but he holds his hand looking hurt, and you feel a twinge of guilt. he holds out a bag from Big Belly Burgers and places it next to you.

you scooch back, your back hitting the wall, not willing to back down. “i’ll eat if you let me go.” you feel like a child throwing a tantrum, but you would do anything to go home.

you see him rub his forehead in frustration, “this isn’t working.” he mutters to himself. you don’t say anything, wanting to see what he would do. instead of trying to fight you again, clark picks up the bag. “i’ll come back when you’re ready.” he says.

“come back? what are you talking ab-” in one blast of air, clark was gone and you were alone.

days had gone by, you felt like you were going crazy from the solitude and the hunger. thankfully, clark had left mountains of water bottles for you, so you tried to fill up with those. it wasn’t enough, you had started to miss your kidnapper’s company after many conversations with yourself. all you could do was sleep or stare at the wall, blankly. after a week, you couldn’t take the isolation. “clark?” you call out, weakly. not a moment passes before he appeared before you.

his eyes were filled with pity and worry, “are you ready, sweetheart?” his hands cup your face and you lean into the warmth, nodding.

he could never hurt you. that entire week away was killing him, but the commenters were right. you just needed to know that he was all you needed.

#like and reblog <3 #yandere #x reader #yandere x reader #gender neutral reader #kidnapping #yandere clark kent #yandere superman #yandere clark kent x reader #yandere superman x reader #yandere headcanons #clark kent x reader #superman x reader #incels #hashtag nice guys #isolation #starvation