#Usually I ramble for a very long time in the tags but honestly my brain is fried rn and I think I got all of them down anyway

[unlikely-gravestones]

Ok, but a Dreamling fic where either:

A) Dream is courting Hob, but Hob doesn't know

Or

B) Hob is courting Dream, but Dream doesn't know

I mean, it literally works either way, and yes I will be promptly expanding on that right now.

Let's take fic A: Give me Dream courting Hob but in an obscure way, like taking him to Fiddlers Green (aka the heart of the Dreaming) and showing him one of his most beloved creations; give me Dream conjuring specific foods from Hob's past, meals and desserts that he knows Hob still idly daydreams about but can't find anymore, or don't taste quite right. Yet the ones Dream gift him taste exactly like how he remembers.

Dream shows his favour for Hob by steering clear his nightmares, sometimes even personally curating a dream when he can't visit him himself. And visit him Dream does - both in The Dreaming and in The Waking. When Hob enters his realm, most nights Morpheus can be found within his dreams, allowing Hob to shape the world around them as he sees fit unless Morpheus wants to show him something in particular.

And when Dream does show him around... think of Hob complimenting stuff in the Dreaming, slightly flustering Morpheus because he is unrelenting is his curiosity and awe at Dreams realm, at his creations-

Dream thinking to himself that Hob is such a FLIRT, because The Dreaming and everything in it is Morpheus, so of course he takes pride in it...but here's Hob praising it all left right and centre. Hob's obvious wonder and verbal appreciation of anywhere they go or anything Dream does (because there are no limits in the dreaming and oh my god is there a dragon on that castle...YOUR CASTLE??...i didn't even have a castle wtf) just makes Dreams feelings all the more tender and...its worth the surprised look Lucienne gives him when he only smiles fondly at Hob while the immortal praises the magnificence of the library and the quality of the printing.

In The Waking (and they do meet frequently in the waking because Hob will be damned if he ever waits 100 years to see Dream again), Hob is surprised by how warm Dream is towards him; he no longer sits rigid and regal but instead relaxes into his seat, sometimes tapping Hob's shoe under the table with his own when he sits down, though Hob's sure it's an accident (the first time, it was). He smiles more often, though no more freely- its the same small knowing smile he's always had, and it melts Hob as much as it surprises him. He doesn't know why Dream seems more...fond, but he's not going to be the one to point it out lest Dream stop or leave him again. The attentions nice anyway, from His Dream.

Just give me Dream doing stuff that to HIM is romantic but to Hob its mildly confusing yet very pleasant. And again, Hob will gladly take all of this without question because even though he feels just a little bit like there's something he's not getting, he won't risk upsetting Dream again. He knows it wasn't Dreams fault for missing their 1989 meeting, but he still did storm out of their 1889 meeting and all hell broke loose for him in the years that followed. Hob figures its better to accept all the welcome changes and gifts, rather than put his foot in his mouth again by bringing it up and risking Dream leaving, risking not know where his friend is or if he's safe.

AND FIC B. Give me Hob deciding to court Dream, to go old school and work his way up to asking him out because he needs to gauge his reactions first before he dives all in. Hob learnt a lesson in 1889, and so while he might be taking some of the courage he had back then to start courting Dream, he wouldn't put himself out there like that again and have it backfire even more monumentally. No, he'll work his way up to it.

Give me Hob asking Dream to meet him at places outside the Inn, simply taking walks together and enjoying good conversation. He lays a hand on Dreams shoulder when they part, the other balled up in his jacket pocket from nerves, and the smile on his face from Dream allowing it, from Dream looking at his hand on his shoulder and then smiling at Hob in that small knowing way he always does... Hob doesn't stop grinning for the rest of the night.

Give me Hob tapping his shoe against Dreams under the table sometimes, to emphasise a point, to touch him without being obvious. Give me Hob, in the dreaming, shaping the world around them to be a beautiful flowering meadow where the colour of the blossoms match that of Dreams eyes. Have him conjure wine - wine with no name for all he thinks when creating it in his dream is that it simply must be the finest - and watch Dream, for perhaps the first time ever, drink something with him.

Give me Hob complimenting the Dreaming, yes again, because truly it is astounding in its beauty and complexity, but also because he thinks its cute how Morpheus smiles and looks from under his eyelashes at him. Give me Hob buying a pair of earrings for Dream because they glistened like stars when he walked past them, and now he's panicking because what the fuck was he thinking and they're dainty but feel like they're burning a hole through his pocket as he waits for Dream and he probably has time to run upstairs above the Inn and put them down in his flat but-

Dream walks in the door, so he's stuck. And maybe he picks up on Hob's nervous energy, because shortly after sitting down his face becomes serious and he asks Hob what's wrong. And Hob is sweating bullets but he just looks at him for a moment and pulls the earrings out of his jacket pocket, setting them gently on the table between them.

And Dreams confused, but when Hob manages to get out a "For you. They're uh, for you." He relaxes and gives Hob a pleased but surprised "For me?". Give me Hob explaining that he saw them and thought of Dream, trying to pass it off as casual because he doesn't know if he's being too hasty and if it'll scare him off, but also trying to say just enough that if Dream were interested, he'd pick up on it.

Suffice to say Hob's brain stops working the next time he sees Dream, wearing the earrings he bought. He's out of it for a solid 15 minutes, eyes mostly focused on the shine of the gems and holy shit he's actually wearing them oh my god he put them on is he interested is he accepting my courtship holy shit oh wait fuck he's looking at me what did he say what did I say-

Give me Hob picking a flower for him on one of their walks, handing it over with a simple "For you". Hob brushing their fingers together on the table at the inn, resting his foot against Dreams. Hob tugging Dreams sleeve to get him to lay down in the grass beside him in Fiddlers Green, occasionally tapping his foot with his or pressing his arm against him as he talks.

Hob actually flirting with Morpheus, emboldened by the earrings his soon to be lover continues to wear. Dream amassing a small shrine of tokens and gifts Hob brings him, ones he's always pleased though still confused to get. He did not think humans partook in gift giving this often, but perhaps he was mistaken.

The most important part of either fic is that the one doing the courting thinks its going great. And by all means...it is. Both parties are happy, though one is slightly confused. And I don't imagine they would get far physically without this misunderstanding coming to light; Hob would def ask to kiss Dream and Dream would go "...what?" because while the idea is pleasing, for him it's coming out of nowhere while for Hob, they've been working towards it for months and thats fine bc hes got all the time in the world and he would never rush Dream.

Cue Hob losing the confidence he had two seconds ago (Hob's had centuries to become well acquainted with himself in every aspect, he's confident in most things about himself but when it comes to Dream...hes always flipping between confidence and foolishness). Hob just being like "wdym what 🤠" and slowly they both realise they've been living two different realities these past few months.

Alternatively, Dream I think would also ask to kiss Hob...to which, you guessed it, Hob responds with "...what?". There's still a smile on his face, though it's more in confusion now and his eyebrows are drawn. And I def think Dream would just look at him for a moment before repeating "I asked if I may kiss you, Hob Gadling. Our courtship has gone so well, I should like to take it further, if you are willing."

"...courtship? Dream, what...what courtship?"

And of course, this would be the point where slowly they both realise they've been living two different realities these past few months. And, because Dream is Dream, this conversation would absolutely end with him on the verge of tears, whisking himself away back to the dreaming or simply "This dream is over" ing Hob if they were in The Dreaming to begin with. Hob would reach for him with a "No, wait-" but it's useless because Dreams gone either way.

Has to have a happy ending though, Hob's stubborn enough that he just calls for Dream when he goes to sleep again (says a mix of things- pleads for Dream to come talk to him, says he's honoured to be courted, threatens to bang pots and pans together outside his castle cause fuck it he'll find a way to get there, Lucienne will let him in or Matthew would show him the way if he asked he's sure, he even apologises at some point because it's beginning to feel like 1889 all over again).

It probably just ends up with Hob loudly confessing his own love in a multitude of ways, because what has he got to lose if Dreams left him already. Except Dream hasn't left, and he comes back, soothed by Hob's declaration of affection and perhaps slightly chastised by Lucienne for assuming Hob would understand the meaning of his odd courting rituals (I like to think he threw himself into a room all dramatic like and Lucienne just ends up standing outside the door going "...Did we ask Hob if he would accept being courted? No?...Did we research human courting customs and try to incorporate some of those, my lord? No?....*insert knowing silence*..." bc I KNOW Lucienne out here using the royal "we" while dealing with Dream).

Anyway. Big thoughts. Feel free to have at this if anyone wants to write anything, I just need a "We're courting" "...We are?" friends to lovers happy ending angst hurt/comfort fic.

(This post is long enough but also there's a secret 3rd option where one of them THINKS they're being courted by the other, so they respond in kind with gifts of their own and genuinely think the other person is trying to court them so they accept and go along with it bc...theyre idiots in love, your honour. But, as is the theme, there's a fundamental miscommunication where they're not actually being courted, the other just feels more secure in their 'friendship' and therefore brings gifts and touches bc they're friends now right and friends do that...not for any other reason...)

#And the angst needs to be ANGSTY #I thrive off it #So long as u gimme that good happy ending I will EAT IT UP #Anyway #God this took me an illegal amount of time to write #Usually I ramble for a very long time in the tags but honestly my brain is fried rn and I think I got all of them down anyway #I'm insssaaannnneeee rn #sandman #the sandman #dream of the endless #hob gadling #dreamling #fanfic #hob x dream #Morpheus

[sylvienerevarine]

20 Questions for Writers

tagged by the wonderful, the elegant, the fabulous @blossom-adventures and @wispstalk! I love rambling about Literature (for the purpose of this exercise, Literature is defined as "stories about weird women in fantasy universes making bad puns")

I tag @elavoria, @bretongirlwrites, @thequeenofthewinter, and @oblivions-dawn <3

How many works do you have on AO3? 49, going back to the far-distant year of 2014.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 356,015. Damn

What fandoms do you write for? The Elder Scrolls universe, the Tolkien legendarium. Side note: isn't it funny how many more Silmarillion than Skyrim fics there are? Skyrim was one of the most popular games of the 2010s and the Silmarillion is an incoherent LOTR prequel that reads like the Bible. Wild.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Guess Who's Coming to Mordor (477), Fraternity (300), Wrong Side of the Bed (286), Hubris (186), Uncles (181). These are all Tolkien fics. Don't worry about it.

Do you respond to comments? Usually, unless I can't think of a clever enough reply or I just forget to.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Considering that Saint Sylvie is basically just a collection of comedy shorts, it has a surprisingly angsty ending.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? In the Tolkien Fandom, The Fine Art of Being Prepared. In the TES-verse, Land of Ash and Heart.

Do you get hate on fics? Very rarely. I occasionally get folks pointing out typos which is embarrassing but honestly, probably needed.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? ...yes, but I almost never post it on AO3.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Ok bear with me here. I once wrote a crossover between my original novel, set in 1860s Vienna, and the long-ass Victorian Tolkien AU that occupied my entire brain from 2018-2020.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? No, and if I did, I'd summon the Constables.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! I once had a Tolkien fic translated into Vietnamese. It was an honor. I do not speak Vietnamese.

Have you ever co-written a fic? Not exactly, though I have co-written a series! (aforementioned Victorian au)

What’s your all-time favourite ship? From TES, Sophrine/Roggi. I am the only person who has ever written for this pairing. I am a hipster.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I refuse to give up on any of my WIPs. Someday they will be done!

What are your writing strengths? Dialogue, comedy, romance, introspection.

What are your writing weaknesses? Fight scenes. I hate them.

Thoughts on writing dialogue on another language in a fic? I sometimes do, like if it's strictly necessary for one character to swear at another in Hungarian.

First fandom you wrote for? The Silmarillion.

Favourite fic you’ve written? Oooof.... Land of Ash and Heart isn't terribly popular but I love it, ok. It's weird and emotional and loosely inspired by Mamma Mia 2. Read it.

#my writing #this game was fun thank u friends

[another-corpo-rat]

✨️TELL ME ABOUT YOUR OCS✨️

Template by @vincentmatthews | Find it here!

I am. quite proficient at rambling, so I'm putting this under a readmore as to not clog the tags

.

Name Victoria Elizabeth Delilah Crane

Nicknames Blondie, Queen Victoria (both are ill-advised)

Age 42 (in 2077)

Pronouns She/Her

Sexuality Bisexual

Hair Color and style Blonde, typically worn in a bun.

Eye Color Gold (optical implants)

Height 5’11 without heels (is never seen in public without heels)

Body Type Mommy? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry- (Idk how to describe her body so here’s her ref instead)

Personality There’s a particular type of cruelty that tends to shine in the corpo offices; the one with a sweet smile and sharp eyes that spot a struggling co-worker from across the room, the sort that promptly step on them to climb that little bit higher – Victoria Crane belongs among that ilk, she climbed high off her mother’s shoulders and then higher still off the backs of those she was kicking down.

She has a ruthlessness hidden under a thin veneer of niceties, and with no shortage of pride since she’s good at what she does.

Tattoos None

Piercings Lobe piercings, only wears earrings on nights out.

Any definable features such as: Birthmarks, Scars, Freckles, Beauty Marks, Accent when they talk, Lisp, Natural slurring of words, Walk with a subtle limp, ect. VERY in-your-face cybernetics, including her gold arms and neck, but also smaller features on her cheeks. Her accent is also distinct in Night City (she was raised in England; I have no idea where specifically yet – but she definitely has an upper-class way of speaking.)

Hobbies She commits crimes against humanity in her free time Usually messing around with quickhacks, modifying them to suit her needs if not theory-crafting new ones with the input of other netrunners on forums. In truth, she struggles to have a hobby that’s not tied to her work in some way; even her reading materials are non-fiction research about brain functions and the like. At most, the biggest disconnect between them is her penchant for anything about maritime disasters.  

Someone get this woman a romance book goddamn

Gang/Occupation {Mox, Max Tac, etc} Arasaka netrunner (working under Smasher, currently)

Do they smoke? Yes

Do they drink? Is so, what's their poison of choice? Also yes – as long as something doesn’t have tequila in it she’ll likely finish the glass. If ordering for herself, she defaults to a mojito.

What do they usually wear on a normal day? Usually a suit of some kind, her entire wardrobe is full of them. If someone tells her to ‘dress casual’ she’d look at them as if they have two heads. Her idea of casual is still ‘dressy’ by most people’s standards.

What do they wear when they "Get dressed up"? And what would be considered a "special occasion" to them {such as an "Oh they're gonna be there so I have to look my best." Or an "It's our anniversary".} Getting ‘dressed up’ for corpos is sort of a way to show off, peacocks the lot of them. Victoria included. She favours dresses for those sorta things, low neckline, high slit up one of the legs – gotta highlight the assets, y’know? Normally the dress is a simple enough piece so she can put sparkle on in other ways.

As for what she’d consider a special occasion to get particularly fancy; she honestly doesn’t need one. She dresses for herself tbh.

What do they smell like? {For example: they smell like cinnamon flavored liquor, cigarettes, leather, and motor oil.} There’s the constant vague lingering of caramel smoke around her, courtesy of the smoking habit. As well as that, her favoured perfume smells like daffodils.

How do they walk? Do they sway their hips? Do they walk with a sense of determination? Do they bounce as they walk? Etc. She has that murder strut; shoulders down, chin up, glaring at anyone who steps in her path.

Are they more of an early bird or a night owl? Definitely more of a night owl; she’s far happier to stay up to ungodly hours and doesn’t mind getting to watch the sunrise when she’s already up anyways. Comparatively, waking her up early is like poking a bear. Don’t talk to her, don’t look at her. Don’t acknowledge her existence until at least 8am, please and thank you.

If you had to use one word to define them, what word would you use? Awful

What words or catchphrases do they say that's unique to that character? Not certain if it counts, but she’s likely the only person who has been able to call Adam Smasher ‘Tin man’ to his face more than once.

Favorite Season Summer

Favorite type of weather {Thunderstorms, sunny, etc} Sunny, just the type of day she can sit out by the pool and soak in the heat.

Do they have someone they're with relationship-wise? If so, who? Incredibly self-indulgent but I have put her in a relationship with Adam Smasher. Theirs is not a healthy romance, but it’s sure af is a fun one to write.

Main Ship/Pairings Victoria/Adam Smasher

Side Pairings None at the moment!

Favorite/Self-indulgent Pairings The main ship is def both of these things tbh

How do they show affection to their loved one? Gifts, gifts, and more gifts, with the occasional peck on the cheek. The more she loves someone, the more thoughtful their gifts will be – stuff they mentioned needing or wanting even offhandedly is stored away for her to spoil them with later.

How do they sit in a chair? She sits favouring the right side, elbow propped up against the armrest, chin resting on her own knuckles, with her knees pressed together if her legs aren’t crossed.

How do they sit in a chair {uncomfortable version} When she’s engrossed in processing info she pulled from the net, she props herself up on a chair like a damn gargoyle, squatting with her back curled as she hunches over a screen. (She tends to do this in the dark too – so please imagine opening the door into a dark af room and seeing a hunched shape poorly lit by a dimmed computer screen. If you make the slightest noise her head just snaps in your direction, her eyes glowing as she stares. Unblinking even as you slowly back out and close the door behind you.)

What do they wear to bed? A satin slip night dress. Because she has to be fancy even when she’s bouta sleep I stg-

How do they usually sleep? {Side sleeper, back, fetal position, backwards, nest sleeper, blanket mountain, etc} She falls asleep curled up on her side, tucked into herself. She tosses throughout the night (RIP to anyone resting beside her you WILL get kicked or smacked across the face) but will wake up in the same curled up position she fell asleep in.

How do they sleep in a place they don't know? {Can't due to anxiety, in small bursts of sleep that are short lived, holding themselves, etc} It might take her a little longer than usual to fall asleep but generally she has no trouble sleeping in places unfamiliar to her. Her rest would be more readily disturbed if the mattress isn’t soft enough or if the pillows aren’t the right height.

Do they have to have a form of "white noise" in order to sleep? {The sound of a fan, the sound of rain, the sound of a city, etc} Not at all, so long as she’s not cold she can sleep fine.

What's a place they go to feel comfortable, that's their "spot" they always go when they're upset? The Ebunike. Usually she’ll plop herself on the shitty little settee that’s up behind the ship’s bridge / opposite Smasher’s secret office and smoke. It’s far enough from the Arasaka offices and things that tend to wind her up that she can just let herself settle.

What do they do when they're nervous? {Fidget with jewelry, pick at nails, bite nails/lips, play with knife/zippo lighter, etc} She’ll put pressure on her lips somehow. Usually this takes the form of just simply biting/chewing the bottom, but occasionally she’ll press her knuckles against her lips – both for the pressure and to hide an anxiety that might come through in her expression.

What is their "tell" for lying? While she is scarily good at faking sincerity and keeping it going for quite a long time, she does have this little smile when someone accepts a lie she’s fed them – if she’s particularly proud, there’s an added little glint in her eye that observant folks can pick up.

What is their favorite color? Despite being decked out in gold implants, she actually really likes pink. But she’ll be damned if she gives Smasher the chance to add ‘Barbie’ to his list of nicknames for her.

Favorite flower/plant Stargazer lilies, even if she can’t keep them in her home anymore courtesy of Nibbles.

Favorite sweet of choice She will kill for strawberry liquorice

Do they have any pets? If so, tell me about them She has a naked little fiend running amok in her home. Nibbles (full name Peaches Nibbles Crane) – who she loves and loathes in equal measure (“Of all the things, you had to choose lilies to be harmful to you?”) In truth, much as she gripes and claims that Nibbles is an ugly little thing that’d be dead without her, Nibbles has very much become a source of comfort that Victoria doesn’t think she could live without – and yes, she is looking into ways to extend the kitty’s natural life. She spoils her rotten.

What are their triggers {If they have any}? If so, what calms them down? The continuous sound of crunching bone triggers a panic response in her – black at the edges of her vision, brain feels fuzzy sort of thing. She hasn’t found a fool-proof way to settle herself after, but she knows for certain what DOESN’T calm her down (someone trying to physically comfort her through touch, especially rubbing her arms is a BIG no-no.) Usually she finds a corner outside to smoke, and she makes an effort to find the loudest space she can; the quiet doesn’t help.

If they could visit anywhere in the world, where would they go and why? (I need to preface that this is ENTIRELY headcanon/I have done no research into the lore for if something like this exists but-) There’s this exclusive hotel off the coast of Crete that is entirely underwater. It’s built in a way that its ‘grounds’ allow guests to walk close to ancient ruins and a few shipwrecks (one of which is actually quite a new addition; a submarine that sank a few years prior, and despite its proximity to the hotel rescue efforts didn’t get there in time to save the crew and their bodies were never recovered. It was initially going to be removed as it was considered an eyesore, but guests asked if their premises would be expanded to reach that wreckage instead.)

Victoria was there before the submarine sank, and she’d love to get there again. Especially since she’s heard rumours of the campaign to recover the bodies finally, she wants to see that.

What is their favorite comfort meal? Hot toffee pudding

Do they have a food they hate? Pork. She has never had it prepared in a way she’s liked, so she just avoids it entirely.

What is their favorite {non-alcoholic} drink? Caramel Frappuccino

What are their plans for the future {if they have any}? Her plans for the future are up in the air at the moment; she’s learned to stop trying to plan her life around Smasher who is a tremendously large influence considering he’s both her input and who she works for directly.

(Things are further complicated when she nearly dies and is put into a Gemini conversion frame. Her contractual obligations to Arasaka just got a few more decades added to it, so there goes the early retirement she’d been saving for.)

What's a song that "fits" them? Angel of Small Death & The Codeine Scene - Hozier

Give me 5 facts/random bits of information about them > She was a designer baby! Her father’s side of the family had some medical issues that her mother didn’t want her inheriting, and while she was at that genome editing appointment Marion also made some other changes – for example, neither of Victoria’s parents are blonde but she wanted a blonde daughter so she got one.

> Hoards information like a dragon does gold, she’s modified her Kiroshi optics to sync with her own database so she can have an individual’s name, likes, dislikes, and any spec of blackmail she has on them ready at a glance.

> Mildly obsessed with maritime disasters. While she has a load of information saved in databases, she doesn’t need to access them to talk at length about even the most obscure shipwrecks. Her ‘comfort’ media is actually an old documentary about the HMS Erebus and HMS Terror and the hunt for their wrecks. (Yes, I am working my own hyper-fixations into her interests.)

>Tying into the prior point; Victoria’s favourite piece of art is The Raft of the Medusa by Théodore Géricault. She is seething at the fact that the original was purchased and is likely in someone’s room in the Crystal Palace. (Never mind the fact that she owns the original of Landseer’s Man Proposes, God Disposes.)

> She has a Midnight Lady implant but doesn’t have any of their extra accessories at the moment – none of them really appeal to her.

Give me their backstory {can be long, or brief.} I haven’t thought her backstory entirely through yet, so here’s a rough timeline of events I have so far for her (incredibly loose and undetailed lol) 2035, born in Night City. Her mother takes her to England at six months old. 2051, started an internship in Arasaka’s European branch at sixteen years old. Her notably high scores in netrunning meant she was basically told that’s what she was doing – initially, Victoria had wanted to get her foot into the PR department but she wasn’t going to argue. Internship continued until- 2053, graduated from Arasaka’s private academy at eighteen and starts a counter-intel apprenticeship. 2056, apprenticeship completes and she goes into full-time employment in counter-intel. 2058, transferred to the American branch and sent to Night City. 2064, officially meets Adam Smasher for an op Two weeks after that op is officially marked as a success, she’s transferred to work directly for him. Sometime after 2077 > almost killed, becomes a ‘borg herself. (Gemini frame)

Free Space! Give me any sort of extra information about them you'd like to share Some development information! Victoria used to be very fucking different when I first made her; she was a street-kid, had purple hair and piercings, I dressed her entirely different and she was a rude lil shit but something about that didn’t vibe with me – I couldn’t think of a story for her beyond what the game was offering. So, I made some changes.

First was starting a corpo file for her, which felt much better. Her hair changed from purple to the pink-blonde combo, and story-wise I was thinking that when she was tossed from Arasaka, she became an information broker, had her own little crew surrounding her. Which is an idea I still like but it didn’t feel right for her.

So, kept at the corpo file – played along, and slowly just pieced Victoria together in a way that I felt fit her. Someone who stays with Arasaka, awful but has the means to protect herself from any feathers she ruffles.

She’s still a work in progress, like I need to sit and think through how the events play out with her, since she’s technically a V who went off-script well before the events of the game. But I much prefer her now compared to as she was.

#cyberpunk 2077 #Victoria Crane

[shirogane-oushirou]

8,6,7,5,3, and 9 for whichever f/o you're feeling right now! (for the spicy asks)

i forgot i had that ask game in my queue. screaming crying sobbing. i don't know why this is making me nervous, i'm CONSTANTLY in nsft post tags blabbering on about how i want to give my otter man a brain-melting orgasm to cure him of his Conditions... ;;;

answering these for ren bc he's the one i'm most... in tune with? i COULD answer some spicy asks about some of the others (mars is a good runner-up), but i've never put as much thought into this side of a relationship as i have with ren. SO!!!

whether i ramble on with details nobody needs to know or i just give a-few-words-long answers is up to fate. 🙏🏻 (edit post-writing: ......you wanna guess which option fate went with? 😩 i'm so sorry in advance kjNKJN)

3: Is the sex between you and your f/o usually sensual? Passionate? Animalistic?

more sensual and passionate, if i have to pick among those options.

r!ren's much more passionate from the start, since he isn't forcing himself to play a role and can just be open with his affections. he's the kind of guy to quickly go from a light kiss while we watch something to Full Throttle if he's given the OK kjndfkjn.

doc!ren starts out playful and sensual, and he has more control wrt things like light affection staying light, but as things heat up the mask starts to slip and the passion comes out in him as well.

but, with both rens, we're also very silly. like, he's intentionally being a goof the entire time (see: that one post about an f/o saying "shoot your goo!" when you're about to cum), and if his hands get shaky while he's trying to put on a condom, that isn't gonna ruin the mood... if anything i'd be like, "oh no, he's failing to put the condom on... oooh he's struggling so hard... 💕" and then offer to help with my own shaky hands kjsndkjn. like this is us when something silly happens or we have trouble with something stupid:

5: Do you and your f/o prefer having sex in the dark or with the lights open?

lights on! he wants to be able to see everything... not only in the "i love your body" sense (which is also true), but in the "i want to see every facial reaction so i can figure out what works for you and what doesn't" sense.... whether he's doc!ren or r!ren, he has a mind for study, close examination, and analysis.

and -i- want to see his every reaction bc he's handsome and cute and veeery expressive :3 i wanna see him Fucking Lose It in full hd quality.

6: What was the most embarrassing thing to happen between you and your f/o before, during, and/or after sex?

i can't think of anything in particular that's truly embarrassing tbh. i think there are also things that both of us could feel embarrassed about individually that the other would find endearing, but i don't really count that... :/

idk, it just isn't something i've put much thought into in spite of the fact that something would inevitably happen at some point!

7: Any favourite positions?

nothing too creative! we both enjoy missionary, cowgirl, pretzel dip, and reverse spooning, and he in particular loves giving and receiving oral so face sitting + kneeling at the edge of the bed... really anything that's face-to-face and as close as possible.

and if i'm not up for anything on my end, i'm usually more than happy for us to sit or lie next to each other while i help get him off (often a good chance for some fun power play, teasing, etc) or give him JOI if i'm not up for anything physical at all (ALSO a good chance for power play and teasing lol). he understands that we have VASTLY different "batteries", so even if i'm just sitting next to him while he takes care of things himself, to him that just means we're sitting close and spending time together, yippee~!!

8: Any favourite places (ex. bedroom, kitchen, on a desk, against the wall  etc)?

honestly, if it were up to him, i think he'd be up for just about anywhere, and in my wildest dreams i'd also be up for more creative use of space... but because of my pain and health issues, the best places are the bed and sofa ;;; kissing elsewhere for a bit would be okay, but once things really start to get going we need to get somewhere soft and cushioned lmao.

9: Any kinks and/or fetishes?

OKAYYYY. the Big Question. so. i imagine us, when we start discussing the possibility of sex, sharing our most searched "tags" as a starting point to see what we have in common, figure out if one of us is squicked by one of the other's kinks and need to avoid it, etc. the most relevant kinks are:

femdom (no shit lol, we VERY quickly figure out we're a perfectly matched sub top and dom bottom/service dom)

light bondage (nothing too intense, just a "hands tied to the bedposts, blindfold over the eyes" every now and again kind of deal)

edging (gotta make my boy sooooo desperate~)

body worship (self explanatory)

scent (i can't decide if ren's like... a scent guy or a MY PERSON'S SCENT guy... but he loves to bury his head in my hair and neck, especially if we're doing our ro's-battery-is-empty sessions and he just wants to lean into me.)

sound (to complement his scent Thing i guess ksjdkjn voices are a huge things for me, and i think moaning is super cute, and uh. welp...!! he's good at it!!)

i'm not gonna lie, i think it'd be hot as fuck to fuck doc!ren in gloves and his labcoat KJNJLJNKSJM i have a thing for hands and labcoats so the double whammy would knock me out cold.

aaand i simply enjoy seeing my lovely boyfriend blissed the fuck out ^^ my cocktail of being ace, what i can feel, how often i feel it, etc. is a little fucked, but even when everything is at its lowest possible levels, i'd still get some indescribable Thing out of helping push ren to his limits, watching him completely lose it, and enjoying as he comes down from the high. it'd make me feel good to see him feel good, even if the source of that good feeling is different for both of us. 💕

#so wild to just. talk about this shit openly. haven't done that since college KJNKJFN. #📌 [ my posts. ] #[ nsft. ] #[ nsft ds. ] #🍄 [ lying on the blade of an emotion. ] #🦦 [ can't escape it. ] #✨ [ oc lore. ] #[ need to draw. ] #[ asks. ] #🧃 [ who is in control. ] #anonymous #🐸 [ look ahead. ]

[earanie]

Rules : Tag 10 (or less) people that you want to get to know better :

Thank you @pia-writes-things for tagging me, that's so sweet :)

Now, the questions!

1. Relationship status : single and very serene about it

2. Favourite colour : teal. Reminds me of the sea!

3. Song stuck in my head: Poison by Alice Cooper (no idea why I just woke up and this was playing in my brain)

4. Three favourite foods : my mother's pea-and-rice soup, gelato and bread (this was hard, ask me again in ten minutes I'll have 3 different answers)

5. Last song I listened to: À qui la faute by Ycare, Hoshi

6. Dream trip: I hope I'll get to go to Paris sometimes soon. Apart from that... Russia (not rn maybe 😅). And Uzbekistan. But honestly everywhere, if I had money and time, I'd go everywhere.

7. Last thing I googled: the rule for using qui/que in French. This is a wall where the carryover from Italian is failing me and I don't like it lol (it's not the first time I've googled this. yes I know it's basic grammar. yes I do want to cry)

I'd say that everyone who sees this and wants to play must consider themselves officially tagged!

I'm also gonna tag some people with the usual disclaimer that if you don't want to do this, feel free to ignore: @preux-chevalier (it's been a long time you say? Well not anymore lol), @glamorouspixels , @hemerae-ramblings aand @adverbally

[kierras]

name.  mandy

pronouns.  she/her

preference of communication.  tumblr ims/messages, discord eventually. 

most active muse.  kie has been the loudest in my brain since last march.

experience / how many years.  an embarrassing amount. i’ve been rping on tumblr since i was like 20, so... almost 10 years? yikes. 

platforms you use.  tumblr mostly but i like discord too. 

best experience.  s/o to the hunger games rp community circa 2013 for introducing me to my best friend ( @conradism​ ) 

rp pet peeves.  negativity. imo, if you’re constantly complaining or focusing on the things you don’t like/don’t have, you’re just setting yourself up for a bad experience rp wise. blacklist, the unfollow button and the block button are all your friends. use them and protect your peace. 

fluff, angst, or smut. i tend to lean more towards fluff and angst and really only feel comfortable writing smut with a very, very small handful of people. 

plots or memes.  i like both for different reasons. memes are a good way to break the ice and start things rolling without overthinking things which is sometimes easier than plotting. no thots, just vibes. but i also really love plotting and diving deeper into more thought out things too, but sometimes i’m terrible at that due to said overthinking and general awkwardness. 

long or short replies.  even when i say i’m gonna write something short i don’t usually stick to it. i ramble a lot. 

best time to write. unfortunately i usually have the strongest muse late-ish at night when i should be sleeping.  

are you like your muses.  i think me and kie have some things in common, but not too terribly. we’ll both lecture you on the state of the planet and the oceans eco-system until we’re blue in the face if you let us, but she’s definitely a lot cooler than me LOL 

tagged by.  @multistoty  tagging.  @jaymaybnk, @conradism, @cfknights​ , @wavedon​, @pogueprinc3ss​ and honestly whoever wants to do it !!

#* ooc.

[haldenlith]

Nivh

My head is in a bad headspace, so I'm going to ramble about Nivh (Witcher AU Tannivh) and Astarion to distract myself. I'm sure someone out there might find the ramblings interesting.

I got to thinking and realized that in porting over Astarion and Tannivh into the Witcher universe, their roles somewhat reverse. Tannivh the free-spirited nature boy becomes Nivh the emotionally damaged/stunted Witcher. Nivh's background becomes one of entrapment (as he wasn't exactly willingly made a Witcher, like most kids), particularly cruel at that, given that Cat School's background isn't exactly pretty, given the experiments.

Meanwhile, Astarion, though still a servant to a more powerful vampire, comes out a bit better. He can eat, drink, and walk in sunlight without needing a brain-munching parasite. Water no longer poses a threat to him in this universe. He can turn invisible, has super strength, and can turn into fog. And gets claws. The Witcher universe serves him well. The major downside is that in attempting to murder his higher-level vampire master, he's earned himself the ire of other vampires (since I recall it's a Big No-No for vampires to kill each other in the Witcher-verse). So, what better travelling meat-shield to have than a Witcher?

Granted, it's only Cazador's goons he has to worry about. Other vampires are likely to leave him be as long as he doesn't stir up trouble. But when has Astarion ever not caused trouble?

How they relate to each other is otherwise similar. Astarion starts out with the express intent of using Nivh and ends up finding some degree of kinship, to varying degrees.

That "kinship" actually ends up pretty comical in a lot of cases, given that Nivh is fairly cut-and-dry, no-nonsense, doesn't particularly like people, and Astarion is... well... Astarion, exactly one hedonist idiot with questionable morals. Astarion may be the one that negotiates Nivh's contracts a lot of the time (given that he's far better at talking than Nivh is), but he's usually the one that causes trouble via seeking "fun" and ends with Nivh reminding him that eating people usually leads to hunters, torches, and pitchforks. And more Witchers.

I had someone compare them from a fic I wrote to Geralt/Jaskier, and honestly, yes, they are similar, though Geralt is considerably chattier than Nivh, and nicer. Which is saying a lot because Geralt isn't very talkative or nice, in my opinion. Also, Jaskier seems to have a conscience while Astarion, well... that's debatable.

Anyway, I've had Nivh brainworms and thought also about how he has sort of a "forced" isolation angle versus his DnD/BG3 self's chosen isolation. He's an elf, and in the Witcher universe, boy is there a lot of racism against elves, and just generally A Shitty Time to be had if you're not human. So interacting with humans already isn't fun for him. Then add on being a Witcher, which as we see they also get treated poorly, but also with a lot of suspicion. It gets worse in the cases of people recognizing him being a Cat School Witcher, given they have a (rightfully) shitty reputation of being unhinged assassins. So Nivh has a hard time really being around people, and other Witchers, in general. He also doesn't particularly like his fellow Cats, so he never goes back or links up with the caravan. He also doesn't relate to other elves, given that he spent most of his formative years being trained to be a Witcher. Mostly everything Aen Seidhe he knows through stories and what he's learned from tagging along with Scoia'tael. So his Path is a lonely, unending one.

It's honestly partially why he keeps Astarion around. Sure, he's a troublesome vampire that's often a pain to deal with, but he's someone to talk to. There's some form of companionship there, even if it is a little wonky.

#haldie rambles #OC: Tannivh

[blujayonthewing]

Every day I see you tag stuff with your ocs and honestly Melliwyck, as a name, has been trapped in my head, bouncing around my braincells, ever since I first saw it. Please tell me about Melliwyck!!

:D Melliwyk is my dnd gnome wizard/ artificer! Her campaign setting is a series of floating islands whose origins [were] shrouded in mystery; no knowledge of anything from before the creation of the Vault or what's underneath the permanent cloud layer below it existed on the Vault, and part of the knowledge that was lost to the world was how to craft magic items, which has been Melliwyk's lifelong area of study (primary focus hands-on experimental magic, with a side focus on historical research). Now that we've FOUND a lot of the lost knowledge, including people who know about magic item creation and were happy to teach us, she's up to her eyeballs in the ACTUAL plot of the campaign which is 'oh hey all the mysteries are because of Big Complicated Conspiracies and, surprise, the party is Destined to be smack in the middle of literally all of them' lmao. The good news is she loves solving mysteries: the bad news is she's currently a bit overburdened with them and the stakes are, like, fate of the world and everyone's literal souls, aaahah :'D

She's very intelligent but generally has more curiosity and gumption than common sense, and tends to get herself into precarious situations-- although being with the party has tempered that a little bit, now that she has a) other people to tell her not to do a thing and b) some perspective on the concept of consequences that aren't just personal.

Mel's usually friendly, and has a sort of genially laid-back demeanor and a somewhat wry sense of humor-- but she's not great at personal relationships because she spends most of her time absorbed in her work, tinkering on projects or working on theories or studying her notes and barely coming up for food, let alone socializing. Prior to the campaign, she spent a lot of time completely alone doing the Fantasy!Mad Scientist thing, so apart from her familiar, Baxter, the party are the first actual friends she's had in a really long time, and even that feels tenuous sometimes.

UM I could theoretically ramble all day without even saying anything that's actually interesting jgkhkddjgh so for now-- HERE is a handful of relevant Fun Facts about her for an ask from jules antiquesymbolism and HERE is her tag on my art blog :3

ALSO I'm delighted you like her name, or at least that it got stuck in your brain hehe :3c I came up with it by pulling random bananagrams tiles and rearranging them until I had a list of possible names I liked :D Her full official name at present is Melliwyk Truthseeker Pinsky Louise Arlinetta Darinia Berenockt 😁

#pbjplatypus-but-out-pf-phase #THANK YOU FOR ASKING <3 sorry this is like... a wall of text that I suspect doesn't even say anything jhkdfgkjdhg #my brain is No at the moment but I do love Mel a lot #tl;dr: gnome arcane inventor/ tinkerer who gave herself magical narcolepsy and permanent scars via unsafe lab practices #and The Brains of the outfit in a campaign where that turns out to be the world's most taxing job jhkgfkdgj #she started the campaign as chaotic neutral but she's too nice to witness Horrors firsthand and not slide to Good eventually #one thing I think is kind of funny is that both she and I only ever shorten her name to Mel #but almost everyone else in the campaign including the DM call her Melli #which isn't a bad thing it's very cute it's just kind of interesting haha #my OCs #melliwyk

[murderousbitch]

                             *    knowing  your  partner  well  can  potentially  make  writing  a  lot  easier,    repost,    do  not  reblog.  

                                                     meet the mun. — basics

NAME:  Char PRONOUNS:  she/her PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: Discord and sometimes tumblr IMs if I’m feeling them. SINGLE / TAKEN: single pringle

— three facts

𝙞.  i can play two instruments; guitar and the recorder ‘cause for some reason they made us learn it in elementary school an’ idk it never left my brain lol 𝙞𝙞.  uh...i’m related to a famous pioneer and Jesse James the famous outlaw and Abe Lincoln (which then connects me to George Clooney so that’s cool)  𝙞𝙞𝙞.  never left the west coast in my 27 years of life

— experience

First started out in a teen wolf like RPG here on tumblr back in early 2012, that didn’t pan out then I was in a btvs post chosen RPG up in the same year and then finally I landed in an RPG that was a cluster fuck of fandoms that, yet again, didn’t pan out. So I converted my Spike blog to indie and been a menace to tumblr ever since.  

— sub-genres

FLUFF: It’s nice, but given the types of characters I tend to write, it doesn’t happen often. But it is welcomed! Especially with this broken ass slayer. SMUT:  Back in the day when this place was a lawless cesspool of filth, I would have thrown my muses into the thick of it. Now that this place is like For Knox and I’m older? I don’t got time for it and have gotta be in a mood to write it and also super chill with my partner. Faith is a sexual being so things are bound to happen, but I’m not opposed to keeping the nitty gritty on discord and in private. Also ‘cause the read mores now sucks camel balls and doesn’t work like it should so I just don’t wanna unnerve folks, etc.  ANGST: Fuckin’ put it in my hand little man. Angst is easy to write, can drink it up like fuckin’ water. Also again, I tend to write troubled muses so it just comes easier than the others. Faith is very much troubled and I really do love hurting my girl and my other muses.

— plots versus memes

Memes are usually the go to for me as it’s a good way to lead to a potential plot. But on the off chance that I do get inspiration (usually if I’m really vibing with the partner ooc) I’ll plot out the beginning, middle, and end of whatever chaos we can muster. So it’s 50/50 but always send memes ‘cause they’re good for kick staring things. 

— long or short replies

Sometimes I get wordy and ramble. Short replies are good for getting things started because you can always build off of it and get to longer replies / threads with ease. But there are sometimes where all I have the brain power is to do short replies ‘cause they’re good for a little back and forth. However, long replies do take me longer and not because I’m trying to match, but because it just takes more focus and thought process. So again, 50/50.

— best time to write

In the evening / early morning hours (that’s why y’all early birds see me up and about at like 5am lol) but honestly whenever I can get a moment to myself without any interruptions. And whenever I have / get muse at this point in my writing life. Some days I can get on in the afternoon and have no problem, other times I don’t get on until well after 11pm. Just depends on how I’m feeling and if there’s any chatter from the muses.

Tagged by: @demonstigma Tagging: @wickedlehane / @lycanstark / @oxtaiiiled / @count-v-dracula / & anyone else that wants to do this!

#( dash of creativity & a fuck ton of salt | out of character )

[ipreferfiction]

get to know the blogger

@revanchxst as usual tagged me, do Not ask how long ago, so i figured i'd finally do this! i'm running out of people to tag so. @voiceofthetraveler, @sith-shenanigans, @tarrevizsla, and whoever else wants a go!

1) why did you choose your url?

honestly i don't remember! i made my tumblr way back in 2016, and I was pretty young back then, so i think i just picked something that i thought sounded cool, and now it's what i use pretty much everywhere lol

2) any sideblogs?

none that i'm willing to admit to except for cassusfett.tumblr.com which i will Never let go of

3) how long have you been on tumblr?

since september 2016 i think? that's the first archived post i have, so i'm going to assume it was somewhere around there.

4) why did you originally start your blog?

i wanted to be in fandom central and i felt like i was missing out on a bunch of stuff. joke's on me, i was in the spn fandom at that point and i'm so glad i never actually managed to make it into the fandom properly.

5) why did you choose your icon?

because i am obsessed with my own ocs and this is one of my favorite little drawings of J'lima that anyone has ever done! i love her i'm normal about swtor

6) why did you choose your header?

i read totj and now my brain is consumed by Exar Kun. @tarrevizsla my friend edited me a comics panel for a discord header and i will love em forever for it.

7) what is your post with the most notes?

this one, which is a tragedy because i have some other truly excellent shitposts

8) how many mutuals do you have?

14 i believe

9) how many followers do you have?

97

10) how many blogs do you follow?

65 (edit: just pruned down to 59), which is way fewer than i'd thought

11) have you ever made a shitpost?

i have made SO many shitposts, my favorite one of which is this:

it is saved as ass.jpg and it lives in my head rent-free.

12) how many times do you use tumblr a day?

you don't want to know

13) have you ever fought another blog?

yep! and i'd do it again

14) how do you feel about "need to reblog" posts?

i hate them. i automatically assume you have another agenda, and they're always so guilt-trippy, as if someone on tumblr dot hell is going to be the lynchpin of whatever social issue is being talked about. it's frankly very stupid

15) do you like tag games?

i love them! as evidenced by this thing lol

16) do you like ask games?

yes!!! i love the chance to ramble about whatever catches my interest

17) which of your mutuals do you think are tumblr famous?

uhhhhhhh probably @revanchxst is the closest mutual i have to tumblr famous, and that's only within a small section of the fandom

18) do you have a crush on a mutual?

i do not! but one of them is my best friend and platonic partner and i love them immensely

#things i have been tagged in #ac.txt #i have no idea how to tag these things lol

[vinnybox]

Hi,,,, I really like your art honestly it's so cute and cool and well,,,, Talons! Dick hair.... How soft is his messy hair is? Because I wanna touch it,,, would he like it being touched? Oooo does he like head pats or hugs? Uh sorry if I'm bothering ya I love your talon au

Hello there!! :D I see you around in tags and sometimes Tumblr rec your posts on my dash! Glad seeing you here! Dont worry you're not bothering at all! :3 <3

Talon!Dick's hair is pretty soft once he's back with the batfam cause of more proper care!

Back with the court, he didn't have time to really do much other than keep himself clean, so he didn't have like, hair conditioner or anything like that other than some shampoo to wash his hair and all the other necessary stuff like soap/body wash etc, but we'll leave it at that since we're gonna do hair talk and some fluff! >:Dc

If you wanna touch his hair, depending on which time period you're thinking of, I'll list down a little progression so we get all the reactions! Hope this is fun to read!

Reactions to headpats:

Dick still with the Court of Owls - While here, the court is very sparse with physical affection, if there's any at all. At most, they only tell him "Good work," with a hand on his shoulder if he did something they deem as a job well done. Attempting to pat his head during this time, usually makes him tense and pull back a bit, mostly because a lot of time, physical contact had been unpleasant. When someone does pat his head, he's, at first, confused, and maybe a little cautious since he's unsure if there's any other intent behind the physical contact. He's like "...??" After confirmation that he's not going to get hurt, he'll eventually let himself relax into the touch and tries to enjoy it for as long as he can. He thinks it's nice and would love to get more even if he's pretty sure requesting this is out of the question. The court would not tolerate insignificant requests.

Back with Batfam - After months of recovery, Dick went from being very tense to physical contact to being able to completely fall asleep to someone petting his head or gently running their fingers through his hair. He'll probably ask for them himself too! Either through body language like scooting closer to someone with his head lowered, or being vocal about what he wants. He very much enjoys hugs too once he has adjusted back to life with the batfam and he's more than happy to return the hug!

Bonus! Imagine Cass playing with Dick's hair and leaving him with cute hair clips. Maybe It even become a little tradition where they trade hair clips every time they hang out! Or each of the batfam sometimes has leftover feathers from Dick hugging them with his wings.

IN SHORT: I think after some readjusting back into a more normal life, he's happy to receive and give hugs and head pats! For the Court era, he's a little reluctant to both, but he'll warm up!

Sorry for rambling haha, I like brain storming possible scenarios for this AU (*￣U￣)╭ Here's little treat for you. I'll leave this ambiguous to who's petting his head. Can be you, a member of the batfam, or Wally 👀 maybe even a memory or a dream Dick is having of his parents. Let your imagination decide! Mediocre writing drabble ahead o(-( BUT I did have fun tho hehe!

Upon seeing a shift in their hand, Talon finds himself balling his fists, feathers bristling, and head lowering automatically for what usually came next, only for him to feel fingers carding through his hair gently. He blinks, once, twice, then gathers enough courage to look up and face the owner of the hand currently playing with his messy hair. This... is new...? He's pretty sure he's getting his head petted right now, and he's not sure what to do other than stand awkwardly and try not to fidget. The court almost never did this, and when they do, it usually came with some kind of degrading words. Should he do or say something? Maybe the latter isn't a good idea. Then there's a gentle voice coaxing him to relax, so with some reluctance and silent debate, Talon allows his shoulders to relax along with his body, wings shifting to a more comfortable position. The feathers smooth themselves as he's no longer on high alert for potential incoming attacks that... were never there in the first place. More reassuring words lull him under a blanket of calm, and he couldn't help but lean his head into the touch a little more with a sigh he had been unknowingly holding. If this is happening, might as well enjoy it while he can. It's... nice. Much more than anything he's ever felt. Talon's eyes drift shut to the slow strokes of the hand on his head, and he finds that he's not as tense as he was earlier. For once, he wasn't a weapon or an assassin armed to the teeth with knives and daggers while on a mission. Maybe he's home.

#Talon!Dick #Dick Grayson #DC ask #Ask #Ask Vinny #long answer #writing #drabble #headcanon #adhdslugcrimes #Feel free to drop by anytime! hehe! I love answering asks when Im free c: #I am not a good writer #but I have fun with writing so its a win

[thebibliosphere]

So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After. 

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting. 

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom. 

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man. 

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms... 

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful. 

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual. 

#long post #writing #ethical non-monogamy #relationship styles #relationship models in fiction #also that kindle link is an affiliate link #because fuck giving amazon free recs

[yslkook]

good years (1)

mind of mine masterlist

summary: you arrive at hobi’s birthday party, along with some of your other friends. pairing: “badboy” jk x “shy/reserved” oc warnings: alcohol, cursing, excessive use of pet names...bc its me

Being late to events, especially events in honor of your friends, was your least favorite thing. Punctuality was one of your top three favorite things about yourself, and yet here you were- nearly sprinting through the streets in heels because you were an idiot and had gotten the name of the bar wrong.

Instead of the Silver Spoon, you’d ended up at the Silver Tongue. That’s what happens when you don’t check your text messages for confirmation and operate on autopilot. So now, you were about an hour and a half late (as if the absence of the birthday boy and his merry band of friends at the Silver Spoon didn’t tell you enough).

Oh well. 

By the time you arrive about twelve blocks away to the Silver Spoon, you quickly make sure that not a hair is out of place before walking into the bar to try to blend in, as if you’d been there the whole time.

“Hobi!” You chirp, finding your friend in the middle of all of the chaos, “Happy birthday, Hobi-”

Hobi turns to greet you, a big (drunk) smile plastered across his face. “You’re late! Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

“Well, I-uh, this is gonna sound dumb, but-”

You’re interrupted by a few of the guys walking into the bar, causing a ruckus and nearly screeching Hobi’s name. At least you’re not the only one who’s late. And you quickly see Sora in your line of sight, entering in behind the guys.

Sora, your best friend of several years since college. She’s been with you since the beginning, taking you under her wing when you were both young and in college. She had brought you out of your shell a bit, inviting you to parties and inviting you to have dinner with her in the dining hall. The slow convenience of college had blossomed into something real, something that could stand the test of time- also known as the test of post-graduate life.

Her friendship was an adventure to say the least.

“Hey,” You beam at her with drinks for both of you in your hands, “Fancy seeing you here-”

“Hey,” She grins, pulling you in for a hug, “Work was so shitty, like, I had to stay late today. Of all days! I can’t wait to have a fuckin’ drink.”

“Yeah, here’s something funny-” But your words are cut off yet again, by the arrival of more friends. It looks like Sora had invited some of her own friends, friends that you weren’t quite sure liked you very much.

But you don’t dwell on that, instead sipping on your drink and settling on people watching. Settings like this unnerve you- being in a place where you’re not quite friendly with everyone in attendance makes you feel self-conscious. It’s easier to just stay in the background, blend into the walls, so as to not upset yourself-

“Hey, you,” Comes a familiar voice to your right. It’s Yoongi, one of your fellow people watcher enthusiasts. He stands next to you, shoulder brushing against yours.

“Hey, you,” You repeat, flashing him a smile and a playful shove to his shoulder, “How have you been? It’s been a while, Yoongi.”

“You’re the one who’s been hiding,” Yoongi teases, “All cooped up at home.”

“So have you! In your studio,” You protest, poking his shoulder.

“I guess I can’t argue there.”

“No, you really can’t,” You say, “So tell me then, what’s new? What’s coming out of the studio these days?”

You enjoy hearing him speak, the way his passion for his craft pouring through his words. He invites you (again) to stop by the studio if you ever want to. You promise to stop by soon, with his favorite snacks. You usually try to stop by his studio at least once a month to catch up with him. He’s also one of your oldest friends, along with Hobi.

“Hey,” Comes another voice to your left this time. It’s a voice you definitely recognize, a voice that makes you tense up immediately.

Jeon Jungkook has always had a way of making you stammer over your words, ever since Yoongi and Hobi had introduced you to him years ago. He’s tall, nearly always dressed in all black, tattoos and piercings coloring his frame, and something sweet and sinful swirls in his dark eyes.

You don’t know if it’s a look that is reserved for you or if he looks at everyone like this, but honestly, your brain short circuits every time he glances your way.

“H-hi,” You mumble, taking a sip of your drink to ease your jumpy nerves. Jungkook only grins at you, his bunny smile a stark contrast to the rest of his aura.

“Been a while, huh?” Jungkook says, voice smooth and sweet like molasses. 

“Y-yeah, been busy,” You mutter. You watch in mild panic as Yoongi walks away, being called away by Namjoon and Taehyung.

“Missed you, baby,” Jungkook winks at you. Somehow, he always gravitates to you at these types of events. Not that you’ll particularly complain- his attention makes you feel warm, even if it’s all for jokes and fun.

As Sora repeatedly has told you.

According to her, he’s the worst- a player, a fuckboy (when he was apparently too old to be one, her words not yours) and this is how he treats any pretty girl. So you don’t take it too seriously, only indulging him a bit and keeping him out of your periphery.

But you won’t deny that his recent use of the pet name might make you swoon a little bit.

“Oh, stop,” You wave him off with heat rising in your cheeks. And he knows it, too, from the self-assured smirk he throws you.

“How’s work been? They got you crunching numbers and all that?” Jungkook asks, ordering himself a beer and a drink for you.

“That’s literally my job, but right now, we just got access to a new database so I’m excited to see what kinds of visualizations and insights we can bring forward. We’re moving forward to proactive analysis, but you know, we’re still a ways away from that, we still react to problems so reactively. Like we’re just putting out fires all the time, it’s kinda tiring but I’m excited-” You cut yourself off at your rambling, sheepishly laughing, “Oh, you should’ve stopped me. I know it’s boring.”

“It’s not boring, not if it’s important to you,” Jungkook shrugs, “Besides, I like hearing you talk.”

“Really? You really wanna hear about the latest and greatest happening in the data world?”

“I wanna hear about anything you have to say, baby,” Jungkook says easily. You squeeze your drink in your hand tightly to ground yourself.

This is why he intimidates you- his affections have only increased in the last few months. It’s like he’s playing a game with you, trying to see how long it takes for you to crack. You don’t know how sincere he is when he turns the charm on- is this how he talks to everyone, or is it just you? 

You like to think it’s just you (because you at least dare to call him a friend of yours), but he could get anyone he sets his eyes on. Rather than spiralling down that train of thought, you bask in his flirtations, his gentle affections hidden under his very many layers of black.

Before you can reply to ask him about the tattoo parlor and about his newly purchased motorcycle, Sora interrupts you both. You’re oblivious to the deadly glare that Jungkook shoots her, and the glare that she shoots right back at him.

She whisks you away, an arm tight around your shoulders. You turn your head and look back at Jungkook apologetically.

This is how it always is, especially for the last few months. As soon as Sora sees Jungkook and you speaking, she’ll immediately do anything to intervene. It’s fucking annoying and Jungkook is beginning to dislike Sora more and more each time he has the misfortune of coming in contact with her. He doesn’t really care about whatever personal vendetta your best friend has for him.

He’s always thought Sora was a conniving woman, full of manipulation and tricks up her sleeve. Ever since Yoongi and Hobi had introduced you to their friend group (and you had brought Sora along as well). His instincts are hardly ever wrong, but he hates to see you spiral with her.

But he’s powerless to stop you from walking away from him. Yet again.

tags: @kookdbean​

#jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #jungkook x you #jeon jungkook x you

[dorotharry]

tiny dancer ; prologue

Pairing: 40s!bucky barnes x fem!reader

Next Chapter

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings: kinda long for a prologue, fluff, not really much but please let me know if anything in this upsets you. 

Summary: After being drafted for the war in 1942, Bucky goes to the ballet a week before having to leave with his best friend Steve. There he becomes infatuated you with the prima ballerina of the show, and he just has to meet you before his last week in Brooklyn is up. He hopes one day you would meet again; little does it know it will be 72 years later.

A/N: This is my first Bucky fic, I thought of it last night and I was kind of excited to write it. Sorry if any of the information is wrong as well my knowledge of Ballet and Brooklyn/NY are limited. I’m not sure if there are any similar story types but feel is so please let me know and I’ll tag them for people to read in the next chapter. I hope you enjoy :) Feel free to let me know if you want to be tagged in the next chapter. 

Before everything - 1942

“Oh, come on Steve, come to the Ballet with me!” Bucky spoke enthusiastically, his arms pressed again the frame of Steve’s front door. “It’s my last week before I go.”

“And you couldn’t have just chose to go to a bar like any other normal man would a week before going to the war?” Steve responded looking sceptically at his best friend. Someone who he had never known to be interested in ballet.

“Because going to a bar filled with soldiers would be a bright choice for you,” sighed Bucky, “I’d rather not have to get into another fight…” Steve rolled his eyes and pursed his lips waiting for Bucky to continue. “Everyone in New York is talking about the Ballet! Don’t you want to feel cultured?” Bucky exclaimed moving away from the door frame. “Plus!, I got us pretty good seats if I do say so myself, what row was it again…?” He trailed off looking smugly at Steve. “…Oh, that’s right! Row three.”

“Too bad you couldn’t score front row,” responded Steve mimicking Bucky’s cocky attitude. Bucky huffed at his friend’s response. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” laughed Steve, “Fine if the ballet is where you want to go a week before you go, then the ballet is where we’re going, I guess.”

Bucky’s eyes lit up at his friends’ words. “Yes! This is going to be great, a night on the town, just two gentlemen going to see the ballet.” He grinned, Steve noting how happy he seemed to be going to the ballet; he wasn’t sure why. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow at 6pm”, Bucky spoke turning away from his still sceptical best friend.

“Okay then,” responded Steve watching him walk off.

Just as he’d said, Bucky had picked Steve up the next day, driving them to the theatre and making it there for 6:30. They wandered the foyer looking at all of the people dressed up to watch the performance like them. Many had already been a few times and were raving about what they were most excited for again. For Bucky and Steve though, this is new territory. Both of them glad though that they were doing something new. They made their way into the theatre finding their seats, as everyone began to pile in, ready for the show.

“I’ve heard that the lead female ballet dancer is meant to be very good”, whispered Bucky to Steve as the lights began to dim.

“You mean the Prima Ballerina?” Whispered back Steve correcting him.

Bucky looked at Steve with an amused look. “For someone who didn’t want to come you sure know a lot about ballet”, chuckled Bucky placing his focus back towards the stage.

Steve sighed and looked back at him, “I don’t know a lot of ballet, that’s just common knowled—” He was shushed by Bucky as he tapped him on the shoulder multiple times in order to tell him to be quiet. Steve looked towards the stage again as the orchestra began playing.

Bucky watched as the curtains opened, the stage filled with ballet dancers.

Not long into the performance you would enter, nervous side stage as your friends reminded you of how brilliant you would be. This wasn’t your first time performing but every time was just as nerve-wracking as the last. This was your passion of course, and you wanted nothing more than to be perfect.  You looked down at your tutu, a bright red tutu, a colour that stood out amongst the rest of the cast who were dressed in whites and greens. Even the male lead was only dressed in white. You particularly like your pointe shoes the best; they were a stunning bright red to match the rest of your costume.

Shaken from your thoughts you heard the beginning of your entrance within the music, jumping up and down briefly before getting into position to enter. Then you did, getting into character instantly.

Bucky gasped as his eyes followed you as you entered the stage so gracefully. He had heard you were a magnificent dancer, but he didn’t know you were so beautiful. Composing himself in his seat he watched as you were so engrossed in the music and the dance. It was obvious you loved what you did.

As the ballet continued his eyes never lost focus from you. He even thought there was one time when you had looked at him in the audience, but he knew that couldn’t be true, someone so perfect would never draw their focus from their work to look at him.

Even during the interval Bucky was in his own world as he thought about how captivating you had been. Barely listening but nodding as Steve spoke to him about his thoughts of the show.

When the show finally ended the crowd stood up applauding the performance. Eagerly so did Bucky, Steve following. As you bowed many people threw roses and he mentally cursed himself for not bringing any himself. The curtains closed and the theatre lights slowly came back on.

“Well I must say I did enjoy that,” spoke Steve as they exited the theatre, breaking the silence and pulling Bucky from his thoughts, he stopped walked and looked at Steve.

“Steve, call me crazy but I have to meet her, I have to know her name.”

Steve looked at Bucky and sighed knowing he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. “Alright pal, why don’t we wait near the door the cast exit from?”

Bucky practically jumped up and down as he followed his friend, who somehow knew where the cast door was, although it wasn’t a hard guess. Just down the alleyway next to the theatre.

-     

After the performance, adrenaline was running through you like crazy. You loved this feeling. Tonight’s audience was marvellous, and they held nothing back when applauding you all for your performance.

When you performed you couldn’t see much of the audience due to the stage lights, but you could see up to around the 4th row. While you had stopped at the end one of your solos in the first act your eyes had briefly stumbled upon a very handsome man with brunette hair. But you didn’t get a great look because as soon as one song ended the next one started.

You had removed your costume and let your hair out of its bun brushing it out and attempting to make it look as presentable as you could. You got into a nice dress which you had arrived in, keeping your makeup on along with your bright red lipstick. Grabbing your bag, you said goodbye to your fellow colleagues as you exited the backstage area and entered the alleyway.

As you got to where the alleyway ended, and the city sidewalk started you were met with the same brunette you had noticed during the show. “Miss, I’m terribly sorry to bother you after your show but I just had to introduce myself to such a beautiful and talented woman.” Rambled Bucky.

You blushed and looked down as your dress, “Why thank you…” you trailed off waiting for the handsome stranger to tell you, his name. He seemed a bit distractedd looking at your eyes that he didn’t catch on though, causing his smaller blonde friend next to him to nudge him.

“Oh, sorry my names Bucky,” he replied letting out a nervous chuckle, “and this is Steve,” gesturing to his best friend.

Steve raised his arm to shake your hand, “Sorry miss but what was your name again? Bucky here forgot to tell me.”

You raised your arm and shook his hand, letting out a giggle over the two men in front of you, “My names y/n”.

You looked back over at Bucky who seemed to be going over something in his brain. “I wanted to know if you wanted to get a drink or some food or something with me?” What Bucky thought would be a confident question turned more into a rambling mess. Gosh he thought you were pretty.

You blushed, “How am I to know you’re not a murderer?” Raising an eyebrow at the nervous man in front of you.

Steve interjected this time, “I can confirm y/n, he’s not a murderer. Honestly, he’s usually a lot better at flirting than this, I’ve never seen him look so nervous.”

Bucky sent a death glare at Steve before looking back at you. You laughed again, grinning ear to ear, “Well I am pretty hungry, so I won’t say no, especially when a ladies’ man is so nervous to talk to me.” You smirked.

Now it was Bucky’s turn to grin, “great!” He responded. “I just have to drop Steve home and then we’re all set… Did you have a car?” He asked.

“Nope,” you spoke back, “so… do you think you’d be able to drop me home afterwards?” you asked, “You know considering I’m being so nice to a stranger.”

“I was going to offer anyway,” he replied signalling you to follow. You chatted with the two men as you walked to the car, when you got there, you insisted Steve sit in the front considering he was being dropped home. Then once you arrived at his, you both said your goodbyes to Steve. “I hope to see you again soon,” you yelled from the car as you sat in the front waving.

Steve waved back, as Bucky drove off to one of his favourite bars/restaurants beeping his horn at Steve as he left.

The rest of the night went smoothly, you both ate and chatted for hours, feeling like time barely existed with one another. It may sound cheesy but both of you felt like you were meant to meet one another. The only downside was that Bucky had told you he would be leaving for the war at the end of week, so you both knew it could never be anything more until at least the war ended.

It wasn’t until you realised the time that you knew you needed to get home, being Prima Ballerina wasn’t an easy job and it required getting at least some sleep. Bucky understood and drove you home continuing to talk about everything together. He even confessed he wished he had of gotten you some roses, to which you responded that how would he have known to do that. Of course, Bucky being a gentleman he still was disappointed he didn’t, even if you didn’t mind.

When you got home you thanked him for the wonderful night. “I’m going to see you again before I go,” he said from in the car, as you stood by the passenger window.

“I hoped you’d say that” you replied, “Good night Bucky,” you blew him a kiss, and his cheeks turned a bright pink.

“Goodnight y/n” he replied, grinning like a fool. He watched you walk into your apartment to make sure you got in safe before driving off. Gosh you were perfect.

-   

It was finally the day he left.

Just like he promised you did see him again. After each show through the week, he would bring you a rose. Each time making you blush.

Most days he just drove you home and you chatted in the car, but a couple of times you got dinner again and made the most of the time you had with your new friend. You wished he didn’t have to go; you wished every time you saw him you could kiss him. But that felt like it would complicate things, you hadn’t known him long enough to put yourself through that kind of heart ache.

You and Steve were at the train station saying goodbye to Bucky. It was hard for Steve, he wanted nothing more than to go with his best friend and fight for his country, but he couldn’t. They didn’t want him.

For you though, you had only known Bucky a week, you had grown so comfortable with him, so it was hard seeing him leave, not knowing if he’d come back. He knew more about you than some of your closest friends that you had known for years, he was just that kind of guy, someone you could trust.

Bucky wanted nothing more than to just grab you and kiss you, but he didn’t know if that’s what you wanted. Steve had told him the day before to just go for it, but he was unsure. He didn’t want to put you through the heart ache. As he picked up his bags, Steve gave him a giant hug, you stepped forward and did the same hoping you wouldn’t have to let him go.

Releasing each other from your embrace, you both looked into each other’s eyes. Your eyes filled with water, and you could tell Bucky was holding back tears.

“Goodbye Steve, goodbye y/n” he spoke sadly as he began to walk towards the train.

Steve looked at you as if to say, ‘are you sure you don’t want to just go for it?’ and you sighed. He was right, what was there to lose? Bugger this you thought, “Bucky!” you yelled running towards him, “You forgot something!” He turned around confused only to be greeted by you grabbing his face and softly yet hungrily pressing your lips to his. He sighed into the kiss dropping his bags, he didn’t push you away instead he grabbed your waist and pulled you closer. 

This kiss was nothing like any of the kisses you had experienced before, if fact it made you feel the same way ballet did. It was the same for Bucky, none of the kisses he had ever shared with anyone felt like this.

You finally stopped and parted, resting your foreheads on one another’s.  

“Don’t worry doll, I’ll see you again.” He spoke softly to you.

You stepped back as a few tears fell down your face, nodding. He gave you a charming Bucky smile before picking his bags back up and turning away. You walked back to Steve giving him a hug, as he watched his best friend leave him for the first time in his life.

You wanted nothing more than to believe that you would see each other again.

Little did you know you would, only 72 years later.

Chapter One (next chapter)

#bucky barnes x reader #buck #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #female reader #bucky barns x reader #bucky barns x y/n #bucky barns fanfiction #bucky fanfic #bucky x y/n #bucky #bucky imagine #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #sebastian stan #marvel #winter solider #bucky x female reader

[shandian-go]

Reflections

Happy Wednesday everyone, and hope you’re looking forward to the long weekend! I can’t believe it’s been a year since I started this group order and I’m feeling a little sentimental so I thought I’d take some time to reflect in an actual post (instead of rambling in the tags like usual). FYI this is NOT a goodbye post - it’s just me rambling to myself and there’s no important updates or anything so feel free to skip :)

So much has happened over the past year that I don’t really know where to begin to be honest. I really had no idea what I was getting myself into when I first started asking around to see if there would be interest in a group order and the way this GO has grown has honestly taken me by surprise. It’s probably been one of the greatest learning opportunities of my life and has pushed me to work harder than I thought myself capable of.

Before all this happened, I was living a very average, boring life - I’m not particularly talented or insightful so my fandom involvement was limited to hanging out with some friends in my little corner of the internet. As for IRL, I’ve always been surrounded by people who were smarter, worked harder, and more capable than me, so I never really thought of myself as the type of person that could take charge and shoulder responsibilities. Whenever I edited the ‘problem solving’ part of my resume, I’d have to rack my brain to come up with examples because the fact is, the challenges I’ve faced in school and work haven’t been all that special. The problems were (mostly) within my comfort zone and there was always a teacher or textbook to guide me.

That wasn’t the case at all with this GO and ever since the very first batch order, there’s been problem after problem that I had to figure out myself with no ‘how-to’ manual to follow. I don’t talk about it too much because I don't want to cause worry, but there honestly isn’t a day that goes by that I’m not trying to resolve an issue with an agent or seller behind the scenes. I remember learning about the difficulties with shipping powders in the first order and having to search for a way to ship it over. I also remember the panic I felt the first time a seller screwed up an order and the struggle to coordinate the return and exchange process. Every time an issue came up, my gut reaction was to imagine the worst possible outcome and I wouldn’t be able to relax until it was resolved. To be honest, I still get anxious whenever I encounter a problem I’ve never seen before, but it’s a bit more manageable nowadays (relatively).

My day job involves understanding how various businesses perform but as an outsider, I never really had a good grasp of what happens day-to-day because all I get to see are some finalized reports at the end of the year. It’s a bit like watching a recipe tutorial on 2x speed without actually doing any of the cooking. I knew - theoretically - how things should work but it was only when I got involved in this group order that I started to understand what it was really like being in the kitchen. In addition to resolving issues, there’s daily tasks to stay on top of, like tracking which orders have shipped and which have been consolidated, checking in with the shipping agent on packages in transit, checking for updates from sellers, checking store availability for limited items etc. etc. And when stuff arrives at my place, there’s items to sort, boxes to pack, labels to make and shipments to follow-up on as well.

There’s honestly so much involved just to keep things running smoothly and the work is far different than what I’d expect in theory. In theory, all you have to do is prep the ingredients, cook them and then make everything look all pretty on a plate. In practice, sometimes you run out of basic stuff like salt, sometimes the food ends up burnt and sometimes you accidentally knock over the plate and have to start from scratch - and you just gotta deal with it. As someone who’s only ever been exposed to the ‘after’ side of a process i.e. tasting that picture-perfect dish at the end, the change has been refreshing (and at times frustrating). And while cleaning up messes isn’t always fun, there’s definitely a sense of satisfaction when things do work out and knowing that you had a hand in making it happen.

-

I definitely fall under the Chinese/Asian stereotype of having had to learn a musical instrument as a kid. For me, it was the piano - which I genuinely came to love - and most of my adolescence was spent practicing away, playing the same pieces over and over again until it was ready for some exam or competition or other. I’m pretty sure this was the main cause of my perfectionist tendencies and it’s actually been handy for my day job, given the high standards and attention to detail needed to meet said standards. While perfectionism may have helped with staying organized for this GO, I think an important lesson that I’ve learned is that getting something perfect isn’t always feasible in the real world, especially when there are so many factors that I can’t actually control.

Failure - the opposite of perfection in my mind - was something I took very personally. I would often blame myself for not being able to avoid it - after all, when my fingers fumbled during a performance, it was my own fault for not practicing the piece enough and letting the nerves get to me. Failure was something I dreaded, which resulted in me putting a lot of pressure on myself to get everything perfect on the first try. Whenever I did encounter failure, a part of me would freeze up and it was always hard to stop myself from looping my own shortcomings in my head. But after dealing with so many issues for the GO, I think my mindset has changed a little - while I still get upset, I spend a little less time despairing and am quicker to start looking for a solution. I think I’ve also come to accept that the world isn’t my piano and I can’t will things into perfection with enough practice. In fact, the world will only pose an endless number of problems, but instead of getting stuck in the ‘why couldn’t these problems be avoided’, I’ve tried to shift more to a ‘how can I fix the problem at hand’ approach, and it’s actually been a pretty welcome change in my mentality.

-

For most of my fandom existence, I’ve spent 99% of the time on priv, emoting about whatever new fandom pit I fell into. I've mainly kept to myself because being known is a Mortifying ordeal and there wasn't much I could bring to the table anyway. However, the number of followers for this GO has hit numbers that are pretty shocking to me, and thinking about how many people might be seeing my posts is still kind of nerve-wracking. I've spent most of my virtual presence chilling under a rock so hanging out on public is still jarring to me.

Even as a lurker, I’ve seen the influence - both positive and negative - that accounts with large followings have had on fandom spaces. While I still don’t think anything I’ve got to say is all that earth-shattering (because I’m the same boring old potato as I was before), I’ve been more conscientious of the influence that I might have and it’s pushed me to think more about what I could do to make a difference. The November charity auction was my first attempt at making a positive impact and truth be told, I didn’t think it would get much traction. However, it far exceeded my expectations and I was very humbled and moved by everyone’s generosity. The Novel Club was another attempt at creating positive change - it was clear that there were barriers preventing fans from legally supporting the webnovels and I kept trying to figure out what I could do to help out. While I’m personally not behind the recent #SupportAuthors initiative, I’m so happy to see it take off and with every new Novel Club order, it gives me hope that this shift in fandom is here to stay.

These extra projects do take a lot of time though and unfortunately I haven’t been able to do more because there’s always so much work involved just to keep this GO going (pun intended). However, they’ve definitely made me realize how much good can be found in fandom and that the toxicity and drama that can sometimes spread like wildfire isn’t the only side to fandom, even if it may sometimes be the most visible. While I don’t think my projects have created change on a monumental scale, it’s so much more than what an under-the-rock lurker like me could have imagined a year ago and it’s been really inspiring.

-

I think I’ve joked before about how managing this GO has become a full-time job and the hours that I’ve put into it probably do add up to a full-time job by now. I’m used to working a lot of overtime anyway but it’s gotten to the point where I clock in to work on GO stuff the minute I clock out of IRL work and just...keep working until it’s time for bed. Weekends tend to be even busier than weekdays because I use them to catch up on all the GO tasks I couldn’t get to during the week, so there's not much time left for anything else these days.

This isn’t meant to be a complaint, but I’ve definitely had to push myself a lot just to finish everything on my GO to-do list, and there were many moments when it felt overwhelming. Because of how much responsibility is involved, I can’t help but worry about the GO constantly and it’s actually gotten pretty hard to take a step back and de-stress. My body has also developed the terrible habit of waking up in the middle of the night (which is the middle of the day in China) and I end up checking my phone and spending 30-40 minutes dealing with pressing issues, before falling back asleep.

Again, I’m not begrudging the amount of work involved nor am I trying to gain sympathy - I do this willingly and lots of people out there have to work much harder in roles they don’t enjoy. But I just wanted to be honest and the truth is, it’s been a really...exhausting year. While I’m fortunate in that I’m the type of person whose selective memory tends to forget the bad stuff and remember only the good stuff, it’s undeniable that running this GO has impacted my mental and physical health in ways that probably aren’t sustainable.

It’s still manageable at the moment though so we’re not quite near the end yet! But just to give you heads up, there will, eventually, be an end and I think I’ve mentioned before that this wasn’t meant to be a long-term thing anyway. I’ll stick around as long as I’m able to and will of course finish managing all existing orders before closing this GO, but at the end of the day, this was never my primary job and with pandemic restrictions lifting, there’s so many other things I’d like to learn about and explore.

-

Finally, I definitely don’t say this enough but thank you all so, so much for making this GO possible and for giving me the opportunity to learn so much over the past year. I know I’ve made mistakes along the way and many of you have had to adjust to a long list of changes, but thank you for your patience and understanding through it all. Thanks as well for the kind messages you’ve sent my way - I may not always have time to respond in detail but every message has lifted my spirits and I’m always grateful for the support. July will probably be another busy month given the number of packages that are expected to arrive but I definitely want to host some sort of thank you giveaway and will also try to sort through my own collection to see if another charity auction might be doable.

If you’ve read this far, thanks for sitting through this very long, very self-indulgent ramble. Hope you enjoy the long weekend and take care~

Mel

#for once there won't be an essay in the tags bc the essay's all up there in the main post lol #tldr i've learned so much from managing this GO and thank you guys for giving me the opportunity to do so <3

[cinnachuu]

dating Mary Saotome headcanons

warnings/genre: fluff headcanons, some mentions of angst, mild violence, harassment, dating headcanons, implied female reader

a/n: my favorite girl!! I’m going to be doing a lot of female characters x female readers, and then male characters x male readers, but I still have tons of gender neutral fics being written and edited rn!! planning a very wordy one for obey me soon >:)) enjoy!

•the most likely way for you guys to meet is by Yumeko

•I can’t really see her being able to swoon over anyone who bested her or lost to her, so you’re probably a member of the Yumeko gang! :D

•Mary is very confident and takes a lot of charge in her relationships

•she isn’t very romantic tho, she’s more casual and just enjoys your company. She doesn’t like being super open about how she feels, but she really does love you.

•it’s just difficult for her to express it in the traditional sense :((

•but!! She does express it her own special ways

•her confidence and pride? now shared with you!

•she’s your number one hypeman when gambling, loves watching you destroy your opponents

•she orders around housepets to be footrests for you. Only the best backs, they can’t be too bony.

•if you’re not the best at gambling, she’s willing to teach you, but she’s not exactly the best at mentoring someone

•she expects u to learn the material and learn it fast

•but she will throw hands with whoever beats you in battle, she doesn’t mind consequences

•okay yes she does, she’ll throw multiple snarky remarks.

•one time someone tried lifting your skirt and she dove in really quick with a few very not safe for school words :))

•if you’re not from a wealthy family, she’s extremely protective of you as she knows exactly what it’s like to be considered prey

•she never wants you to face the humiliation she did

•if you’re from a wealthy family, she really won’t care but she’ll make some teasing remarks about your wealth. it’s just in her nature, nothing too serious.

•hmmm I feel like as a girlfriend she’ll honestly be kinda toxic at first as she tends to brush off other people’s feelings

•in all honesty, if you’re more of an emotional person you really would have to be close to Mary to date her, as she’s just too nonchalant about other people’s feelings

•her difficulty expressing how she feels is also trouble in relationships :))

•u rlly do have to be patient with her.

•however that’s sad and lame let’s get onto some happier stuff!!

•cuddling with her is rare

•she just isn’t touchy feely, it’s not her style, but she likes being little spoon.

•pls accompany her to gamble it’s a fun sight to see her get all sadistic and cruel

•even better when you join in!!

•only if u want to, she’d never actually pressure u to gamble unlike Yumeko

•she understands that not a lot of people enjoy the risk factor. Some are doing it to survive, she gets that.

•but if you genuinely enjoy gambling u two are a power couple

•honestly i could imagine her being a girlfriend who loves showing off her partner

•she won’t do it in front of you, but Yumeko will always gush about how much she talks about you

•she loves doing your hair

•she did matching pigtails with you once, it was so cute!!

•honestly I can see her as being very possessive and jealous

•but she also doesn’t wanna say anything because she doesn’t control you, you’re her equal

•when she’s upset it’s better if you take charge and talk to her about it

•she loves positive affirmations that she’s a good girlfriend because she feels like she rlly isn’t

•gets you flowers every now and then

•writes u letters that aren’t romantic at all, probably saying stuff like “ur cute I like you,” or “ur dumb. come kiss me in the library.”

•she rlly doesn’t like PDA pls don’t no PDA

•it’s not that your affection isn’t welcome, she just rather have her reputation upheld than kisses

•ofc if u went to the school you’d understand,,

•honestly, she’ll hold you like a trophy at most.

•showing you off during gambling.

•”this is my girlfriend, see? and she may be an idiot, but this idiot outsmarted you!”

•she’s not the kindest tbh she prefers showing her affection through gifts

•gets all flustered when you get her gifts

•don’t get her anything extravagant she’ll cry

•often the ordeal between you is trading sticky notes or personalized poker cards with little writings on them

•will shame u if u don’t have good music taste

•doesn’t like seeing you cry tho so she’ll never insult u that seriously

•honestly her insults are childish, you fight the urge to laugh everytime she tries to insult your pride

•if Yumeko gets touchy with you she’ll get very upset and kinda annoyed

•admittedly Yumeko knocks her confidence down to a 7/10 when it used to be a 1000/10.

•it’s kinda like seeing your girlfriend run away with the idea person

•”oh she can gamble,,she’s rich,,,she’s prettier than me, she’s nicer, god...”

•rambles and mutters to herself when she’s frustrated which is a tell tale sign of jealousy

•to comfort her u rlly just have to reassure her u only have eyes for her, and she’s the only girl for you.

•she is, she’s a sweetheart :)

•dates aren’t often. They usually are gambling sessions or getting coffee

•she never really goes all out with dates, as long as you’re with her, it’s a date.

•ok this part is very female-reader heavy so pls stop reading if that makes you uncomfy!!

•ok so this school is bat shit crazy and there’s gonna be a couple folks with very mean ideals

•for example, a few dudes pulled your hair and called you mean names and Mary wasn’t there

•you were walking with Ryota and just trying to enjoy a normal day when they grabbed you and started yelling rlly mean insults

•ryota is HECCING useless so he just watched and tried yelling

•of course his pleas for them to stop were drowned out by many homophobic statements calling u very mean things and shaming u for dating a girl but it’s the thought that counts

•Mary came in with Ririka, looking like she was about to burn the school down

•Ririka was wearing her mask as well so it rlly sold the effect

•started yelling sharp insults and degrading the guys as much as possible

•”you want to talk to my girlfriend like that? huh? talking to her with that house pet tag? Who do you think you are?!”

•ryota had to hold her back while Ririka silently handed you a handkerchief

•Mary was very upset for the rest of the day, not at you, but just evidently ticked off

•”hey Mary?” She kinda just blinked at you and sighed, still very moody.

•”what?”

•”I love you.”

•took her a second to process that

•nearly had a stroke

•her brain cell was bouncing around her head as she looked at you, her expression softening.

•holy shit you were adorable

•”I love you more.”

#kakegurui #mary saotome #kakegurui x reader #mary saotome x reader #i love her so much!