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jackfrombaskinrobbins · 5 months

Text

all fixed up (matt murdock x teen!adopted!reader)

type of writing: headcanons / scenario

word count: 967

request: yes / no

original request: "Matt Murdock patches up a teen reader, and there's just a lot of angst and hurt/comfort. PLEASE LET IT HAVE A HUG AND FOREHEAD KISSES :)) (I'm a sucker for fluff)"

warnings: slight mention of wounds, blood, not too much though i promise!!

dynamic: matt murdock x teen!adopted!reader

characters: reader, matt murdock, quick mention of foggy nelson & wilson fisk

a/n: ILYT!!! also erm hey guys🤓i've been gone for way too long i'm sorry :') but i've had this in my drafts for a whiiiiiiile so i figured it was time to post :0 anyways ya feel free to request i have a bunch to get to but i always like new ones!! esp daredevil oop tee hee

taglist: @nutellani @thecloudedmind @ayohitmanddaeng @fiadh-bell

(fill out this form to be on my taglist!)

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“stop it, y/n. just come here for a minute, alright?”

normally matt’s words would be answered with an exaggerated sigh and an eye roll, but tonight was different. tonight was off, and you knew it, he knew it, and he knew that you knew that he knew it. (ridiculous, but true.) it didn’t help that you had wounds to patch up, sore spots all over your body that wouldn’t be going away any time soon – a constant reminder of your mistake.

and yes, as much as matt would deny it, you had made a mistake. a damn big one at that. you should have known better. no matter how gifted you were at defending yourself, no matter how many times you had practiced, it wasn’t enough. nothing would ever be enough. and yet you had stupidly decided to go against a group of kingpin’s lackies, big huge guys who ate kids like you for breakfast. they didn’t hold back, and they beat you up until you were barely conscious, and that’s when stupid matt came and did his stupid thing and saved your stupid ass from stupid death or some stupid thing like that. and now you were here, in this stupid apartment wishing you had just stayed in and done your stupid homework and watched some stupid tv and just stayed out of things for once.

“i’m going to bed, matt.”

you spoke, too ashamed to face him. but stupid matt always knew, with his stupid heightened senses and the stupid way that he knew you inside and out, ever since he had taken you in a few years before.

“come on y/n. this isn’t something you can sleep off, and you know it.”

and you did know it. so that’s why you sat at the table, a hiss of air escaping you against your will as you lowered yourself down.

“i’ll get the kit from under the sink.”

“matt, really, it’s fine. it’s just little stuff, okay? i’m fi–”

“fine doesn’t smell like blood, y/n. i’m not stupid.”

that earned him an eye roll, which he never saw, but he always knew happened when he said things like that. you watched as he made his way to the sink, opening the cabinet underneath and rummaging around for the first aid bag. A while ago, you had put stickers on it so he could discern it from the other things in there. There were four flower stickers, and one that foggy had given you, with disney princesses that said “together we are strong”.

matt settled into the chair across from you, exhaling softly. the lights of a police car suddenly filled the dark apartment, screeching sirens accompanying it. you reached for the kit, but matt shook his head.

“no, y/n. i’ll do it.”

you opened your mouth, about to protest, but you could tell he wasn’t going to budge. his stubbornness was something you liked, sometimes. it sure helped when you both wanted pizza for dinner and foggy wanted wings. besides, you knew he would be able to patch you up right, with all the experience he got from helping his father. he had always told you that you were just like him, willing to give anything to protect your honor. but what matt never said was that he was just like his father too, and that if anything, you had just gotten those traits from him.

“did they get you in the head at all?” he asked, soaking a cotton pad in hydrogen peroxide and gesturing for you to guide it where your wounds were.

“yeah, a little bit. i tried to block ‘em. they just kept coming matt, i couldn’t do anything!” you grimaced as the pad touched the spot on your shoulder where you had been grazed by something sharp.

“i know, y/n. it’s not your fault.”

“see but that’s the issue. it IS my fault, matt!” you spoke, voice getting slightly strained, throat feeling tight. you squinted your eyes to prevent tears from falling, but it was too late. a few landed on his hand, and you turned away, trying to compose yourself. “there was no reason to go out there. i don’t know why the hell i thought it was a good idea. i was just … mad! mad about the way they’re treating everybody in this place, mad about the way they’re screwing over every person they deal with… mad about how they treat YOU, god damn it!”

a moment of silence as you tried to slow your breathing, and for a minute, you didn’t know how he was going to react. he reached into the kit, feeling around until he grabbed a bandage, unwrapping it. you helped his hand go to where it needed to be placed, and once it was, he sat back. only then did you see the furrow in his brow, the deep frown on his face.

“look, y/n. i need you to listen to me, and really hear me, alright? i’m proud of you.”

“come on matt, that’s –”

“no. i’m proud of you. really, really proud. i just … i just want you to be careful, alright? i worry about you. and for good reason, considering all this.” you could see his face start to crack ever so slightly, a quick break in his voice indicating that he really meant it. you moved your chair back, stood up, and hugged him tight, despite a slight lingering pain in your shoulder. after a little while, he kissed your forehead, then patted you on the back.

“i’d assume it’s pretty late now. how about you get to bed? we’ll figure out if you need to go to school tomorrow, alright?”

“sounds good. thanks matt. love you.”

“love you too, y/n.”

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#mcu headcanons #marvel headcanons #marvel #mcu #daredevil headcanons #nmcu daredevil #matt murdock x teen!adopted!reader #matt murdock x teen!reader #matt murdock headcanons #mae's requests

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ch3rryfunk · 1 year

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Please hear me out here..

Leon and or Luis adopting/taking in a child in early teens (idc about gender❤️) ; how would they 'connect' with the kid / comfort them and give them advice. Tysmm very much need the fluff!dad!Leon/Luis atm

(also to see how they'd be with future kids (👀🤭)

Leon’s Daughter

hello love!! Thank you so much for requesting this, it’s so sweet 😭 i’m posting Leon’s version first and I’ll write Luis’ soon!!!

☆*:.｡.

Adopting a child was not in Leon’s life plans. Hell, it never even crossed his mind. He never planned that far ahead. Until an eleven-year-old orphan girl was put under his protection and he had to take her in, he grew fond of her. He didn’t mean to, he was only doing his job, but couldn’t help it.

Leon had a hard time dealing with children after Sherry got taken away from him. Most of the time he felt like he hadn’t been enough for her, he blamed himself for everything that happened even though it wasn’t his fault at all, yet he always reminded himself he could’ve done better.

The first days were a bit rough. The girl was quiet, she seemed afraid, and Leon didn’t want that for her. He thought of many ways to make her loosen up a little, but he wasn’t exactly sure of what to do.

So, he started planning far ahead, for once. Leon would wake up early and make breakfast (even though we all know he cannot cook but tries his best.)

He remembered Sherry’s favorite breakfast, pancakes. Who doesn’t love pancakes?

As days went by, Leon started taking note of the things she showed interest in. Drawing, plushies, coloring, etc. he went out of his way to buy her sketchbooks, pencils, colors, and coloring books. He thought it’d be a nice belated welcome gift.

Oh, and thank goodness he did that! She loved it. As soon as Leon gave them to her she squealed in excitement and started coloring the book.

That made Leon very happy, something about her smile made him feel like he could start over. Back then, he was a young rookie cop with no experience trying to survive a zombie apocalypse. Now that he was older he knew it had to be different.

After that, she started opening up. She told Leon all about her interests and even questioned if he had any.

But Leon didn’t exactly know what to say. He used to have some, but now he’s barely got time for anything else other than his job, so do they still count as interests? He couldn’t even remember most of them.

He started spending more time with her. Whenever he wasn’t busy going over files or having meetings, he’d take her out and buy her plushies and ice cream, candy, and/or whatever she wanted. The places she could go were limited but that didn’t mean Leon wouldn’t make the best out of it.

Sometimes, she’d ask him to color with her. At first, he was a little taken aback, but he couldn’t say no. He started enjoying doing activities with her like coloring, watching tv, and even playing board games.

If she ever felt sad he would drop whatever he was doing to comfort her. “It’s okay to be afraid, kid, but you can’t run.” Leon would remind her how life can be very difficult sometimes, but to never give up. “Be the best you can be.”

Leon wasn’t used to receiving hugs, so the first time she gave him one after comforting her he didn’t know how to react.

To thank him, she drew a picture of him and her and colored it. When Leon received it he could barely process it, he was completely stunned. He decided to frame it.

Whenever he had to go out, she’d welcome him with a hug and a smile. It was something he had never experienced, but it felt really nice. She always had something sweet to say to him, “Hi Leon, I missed you! Look at the drawing I made you!”

Occasionally, when Leon was extra busy working from home and had no time to eat, she’d make him a sandwich or give him snacks he bought for her. He realized she genuinely cared about him.

Leon didn’t want it to end, he knew at some point his job as a temporary guardian would end and she’d have to leave him. He couldn’t let it happen again, losing her would definitely affect him.

He also knew he wasn’t getting any younger, he wanted to finally start living his life the way he originally wanted to. Rookie cop Leon had life plans, but after everything he went through those plans never became a reality.

He never imagined himself with a daughter. His time with Sherry was different, he almost thought of her as a younger sister, but now? It’s like he wanted to be a father to this child.

Leon did his research, he needed to know if adopting her was possible. She was a good, loving kid, and in a way, he saw himself in her. Leon was an orphan too, he could relate to so many things she had gone through but he was committed to giving her the life she deserved, a good one. He didn’t want her to experience the things he did.

As soon as he found out he could adopt her, he rushed home to ask her for her permission. He wanted to make sure she wanted it as well.

And of course, she agreed, at that point she saw him as a father figure. She was genuinely thrilled to finally have a dad, and even more at the fact that it’d be him.

Leon hadn’t felt sad or as stressed ever since she came into his life. She made him really happy, he finally felt at peace after so long.

Every time he thought of her the years and all the sadness fell away from him. For once, he was thankful for planning far ahead and starting living his life the way he originally planned to.

also, Leon’s dad jokes will never end!

☆*:.｡.

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stusautisticgf · 1 year

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stu macher smut and fluff oneshot

DISCLAIMER: this work contains dubious consent as verbal consent is not given, but the reader enjoys it

KINKS: knife play, exhibitionism, mask kink, masochism, sadism, predator/prey, body worship

it’s been long day after long day. you’ve been trying to save up for a new car since you totaled your first one in the first week you got it.

it’s just for a little bit, just a few more weeks.

it’ll all be worth it when you’re able to buy the car you’ve been eyeing for the last few months.

you kick your shoes off and start getting ready for bed. you gather your pajamas; a long white nightgown decorated with pink flowers that reached down to your mid-calf.

after washing your face, you make some popcorn. you wish your parents were here, but your mom and dad are at a work party. it seemed like they cared about work more than you these days.

soon, the popcorn gets done and you take it off the stove, putting it into a bowl. you sit down on the couch and start flickering through the channels. you see that the exorcist is on, one of your favorites. you watch it, even though the good parts were cut out to make it suitable for tv. you had finished your popcorn and the commercials just started, the perfect opportunity to get a refill. as you get up, you hear the phone ring.

“hello”

“hello there who is this”

“y/n, why?”

“i just wanna talk to someone”

“they have 900 numbers for that y’know?”

“do you like scary movies?”

“well yes i do, they’re my favorite”

“what’s your favorite?”

“i don’t know”

“you have to have a favorite”

“then (your fav horror movie)”

“good choice, i like the one where the guy with the knife fingers kills a bunch of teens

nightmare on elm street?”

“yes, yes that one”

“the first one was good but the second was horrible”

“wanna play a game?”

“no, i’m hanging up”

sigh it’s probably just another creep from school or a prank. it’s near halloween, so the time is ripe for prank calls. rolling your eyes, you start to prepare more popcorn on the stove. waiting for the popcorn to finish cooking, you grab a bottle of soda from the fridge.

quickly turning off the heat, you get your popcorn bowl as your popcorn had gotten done sooner than normal.

ouch you burned your hand and holy fuck did it hurt.

all of a sudden, the house phone rings, so the phone is reluctantly picked up.

“hello again princess”

“hello? why do you keep calling me it’s seriously not funny”

“i’m not trying to be funny.”

“who are you?”

“why do you wanna know?”

“you’re seriously scaring me, i’m gonna hang up”

before you can hang up, the strange man has some choice words.

“you hang up on me again you worthless fucking whore and i’ll gut you like the pig you are.”

“okay okay what do you want”

“i wanna play a game with you. if you get any questions wrong, i’ll give you a little surprise. trust me, you’ll like it.”

you rub your thighs together, how condescending he sounded was hot, so it wasn’t surprised how desperate you were starting to get.

“rubbing your thighs together so soon? but we just started baby.”

you were so embarrassed as you didn’t even realize he was watching you. it made you even more horny.

“warm up question. who is the killer in nightmare on elm street?”

“easy, freddy kruger”

“good girl, you got it right. not hard as you thought? first question, who is the killer in Halloween?”

“Michael Meyers”

“right again! now for the last question, who is the killer in friday the 13?”

“um, jason”

“wrong slut! it’s his mother, mrs voorhes! jason doesn’t show up until the sequel”

oh fuck! you were really getting scared now, you didn’t know what he was gonna do, even though you were so horny you could barely put two sentences together. this man knew what he was doing. your thoughts were interrupted by glass shattering.

terrified, you start running and locking all of your doors. you run into your room and into your closet, trying to be as quiet as possible.

creak

the familiar sound of the stairs creaking, he was upstairs. you hoped he wouldn’t find you. but, then again, your bedroom was the first bedroom and he probably knows it’s yours.

shit.

he opened your door and you knew that it was just a matter of time before he found you. holding your breath and making sure you’re hidden, you hope that he gives up and leaves. he’s wearing a ghostface costume and black boots, just like the woodsboro killer wore when he attacked steve and casey last night.

“i know you’re in here, but where are you? what about here?”

as he opened the closet door, making eye contact. he grabs your hand and picks you up.

“please don’t hurt me”

“oh i won’t, now shut up”

you would be lying if you didn’t like how rough he was with you, how he was treating you like the piece of trash you are.

“i know you like it slut, i know you like how i’m treating you like the filthy bitch you are. why you’re practically soaked. so horny for someone you’re supposedly so scared of. that little cunt of yours is practically radiating heat. you’re practically begging for my cock”

“please fuck me, please. i need your cock please”

he took the knife he was wearing under his long black costume and slowly traced up and down your body, collarbones to your lower abdomen.

“bet you love it when i run this big, sharp, scary knife down your body, don’t you puppy?”

he was so perfect, he knew exactly how to turn you on. you loved knife play, it’s one of your biggest secret turn ons. with your pussy practically aching, you were desperate to get fucked.

“you’re gonna have to wait to get fucked, princess. i’ve got to at least finger your needy cunt first”

he promptly took off your clothes. he started to touch all around your pussy, feeling it’s warmth. he started rubbing your clit slowly while using his other gloved hand to slightly graze your hole. seeing as you had grown even more needy, he started slowly fingering you with his index and middle fingers. after a minute, he quickened the pace.

“gonna cum, slut?”

“mhm, yes” you barely managed to say

“so soon? you weren’t lying when you said you wanted my cock so bad. don’t cum until i say so. and not a moment sooner, got it?”

you shake your head up and down, nodding in agreement.

you didn’t know how much longer you could hold it

“i don’t know how long i can hold it for”

“you can do it, you’re doing so good”

“please let me cum, please i can’t take it anymore”

“cum for me, good girl”

it would be a lie if you didn’t say that it was the best orgasm you had in a while, this man was good. you hear his belt buckle hit against itself, and he pulled his fat veiny cock out. seeing his hard cock, you became eager and determined for him to fuck you right then and there. he slowly put his cock in and started thrusting, groaning in pleasure. he looked you in the eyes with such warmth. it was quite strange since he was being so rough with you a few moments ago. you shook it off, thinking it was just a heat of the moment thing.

“you’re such a good girl for me, you’ve wanted this haven’t you baby?”

after not even a moment of silence he shouted,

“answer me slut”

“yes i have, i’ve wanted this”

then, ghostface looked up from you and remembered the mirror that was right across from your bed. he turned you over and picked you up, so you were sitting on his cock with your hair in his fist.

“look at yourself, whore. look how pathetic and desperate you are for me. and that pretty little wet cunt,” the man said, grabbing your face with his free hand.

you were looking at yourself in the mirror, your mascara was running down your face, you were sweaty and he was right, you looked so pathetic. though, you couldn’t deny how hot it was seeing how much control he had over you and how desperate he made you.

this time though, the thrusts were deeper and rougher.

“enjoying how rough i’m being baby? i know you love it when i treat you like the cumdump you are baby. i know all you want is to cum and have me breed you. isn’t that right baby?”

“yes, it’s true. i’m just a stupid bitch who wants to be bred. please breed me,”

“good girl, you know your place don’t you baby?”

the masked man says, as his free hand now holds his knife. he holds it against your throat, far enough away where it won’t harm you.

“yes, i do”

“look at those fucking tits baby, they’re so fucking perfect. you’re so fucking perfect baby, i just wanna cut you so bad” he says, outlining them with the knife.

his thrusts became faster and his breathing became fast paced, you could tell he was close.

“does my stupid little cumdump wanna come baby? you’re clenching around my cock so hard” he says, rubbing your clit in slow circles.

“yes please, let me cum. i wanna cum, please please please,”

“cum for me baby, come on my cock and i’ll breed you baby,”

just before you come, he takes out a camera.

“look into the lens while you come slut”

obeying his orders, he took the picture of you coming together. you two were exaughsted. he pulled out and picked up the camera and placed the picture on your nightstand so it could develop.

“i’ll help you clean up.”

“look at those fucking tits baby, they’re so fucking perfect. you’re so fucking perfect baby, i just wanna cut you so bad” he says, outlining them with the knife.

his thrusts became faster and his breathing became fast paced, you could tell he was close.

“does my stupid little cumdump wanna come baby? you’re clenching around my cock so hard” he says, rubbing your clit in slow circles.

“yes please, let me cum. i wanna cum, please please please,”

“cum for me baby, come on my cock and i’ll breed you baby,”

just before you come, he takes out a camera.

“look into the lens while you come slut”

obeying his orders, he took the picture of you cumming together. you two were exaughsted. he pulled out and picked up the camera and placed the picture on your nightstand so it could develop.

“i’ll help you clean up.”

he says as he picks you up bridal style to your bathroom so he could run you a nice warm bubble bath. he picks you up and sets you gently in the bath, cleaning you with a wash rag after taking off his gloves. then, he takes off the rest of his outfit including his mask.

“stu? it’s you?”

“yes, it’s me y/n. why? are you unhappy that i was the one that fucked you?”

“no! not at all, i was just surprised since you’re dating tatum and all”

“she’s not important, i want you”

it’s silent for a few moments, but you look him in the eyes and see the warmth and love in them. he’s so happy right now, even though he’s just washing you off.

“y’know y/n. i’ve always liked you. i just didn’t think you would go out with me because you would think i was using you or something or that you didn’t like me back.”

“stu, i like you too. i was about to tell you, but you started dating tatum and i didn’t wanna ruin it”

“i love you y/n”

“i love you too, stu” you say as he bends down to kiss you. you had no idea that he was this caring and sweet, since he was a man whore.

soon enough, you were ready to get out of the bath. stu dressed you in a nightgown and you fell asleep together watching tv on the couch.

#stu macher smut #stu matcher x reader #stu macher #stu macher scream #stu macher x you #stu macher fluff

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idiotwithanipad · 23 days

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-Headcanons for Robin I've had going through my head for hours now🫣

・Robin went millions of years without knowing about his power over electricity. So maybe he found out about lightning somehow through a living who stayed/lived at Button House and all of his memories before his death added up. The last thing he would've heard and seen would be a loud bang and a flash of light... Then nothing, not really any indication that THAT was the cause of his death...back then anyway. And we know that when his emotions are at their peak, he causes lights to flicker and bulbs to blow, maybe one day he was at near breaking point for whatever reason in whatever emotion and a bulb blew right by him (kinda like how in Matilda when she looks at the TV, gets angry, and it explodes)? Then he began practicing on lights placed around the house.

・At some point, Robin obviously learned that he died because of lightning, not the bear (even though he still blames the bear😂) and the science behind lightning related deaths: essentially cooking to death from the inside. He knows what lightning can do because when he rushes to save Mike in that one episode he keeps looking up at the sky, he knows what he's about to do and he's watching to make sure he gets there in time to make his move. He knows that he's the only one who can save Mike because lightning IS electricity.

・Robin and Mary most likely felt more connected to each other after learning about each other's deaths. Robin knows how Mary died since he was a witness to it all, he saw that Mary was innocent... Strange, but innocent🥰 So after learning about how Robin died, Mary most likely felt less alone in her circumstances; She burned to death on the outside, he burned to death on the inside

・Robin most likely has a gaydar. He's seen homosexuality all throughout the ages in all shapes and sizes, even in his own tribe. There was most likely a hunky guy in the tribe who could snap a Mammoth tusk in half with his bare hands. Back in his day, who WOULDN'T be attracted to that?😂 Most likely the reason he knows about The Captain and Anthony Havers. Other than seeing it with his own eyes, he probably had an inkling that The Captain had feelings for Anthony Havers; Robin picks up on small details, so he'd be keeping an eye on body language and eye contact between two people. He'd know instantly. (Also Robin would definitely be president of the Button House Pride club if there was one😂

・Robin has a soft spot for kids. Clearly, he had many many of his own babies, so he's very used to them. But look how he behaves around children and young teens; when Sophie Bone (age 12) comes to Button House, he's all over her like a rash trying to pick up on what she's saying... And ends up learning a wholeass language... Let that sink in. He also most likely never left her side during her many years there, he slept on her window seat for crying out loud🥺) Then there was those kid's birthday party at the house. Even though they couldn't see him, he was still dancing around and being silly with them. Then after Julian accidentally caused a cup to fall on the floor and smash, he rushed over to it and tried to tell Alison, maybe because he knew it was sharp and one of the kids could cut their foot on it? 🥺and did you hear his laugh in that scene, like did you really listen to the way he laughs... Heartstrings WERE tugged🥹

・Robin most likely felt a little bit paternal over Kitty. He watched her grow from a child into a young woman, he obviously knows her better than he'd probably like to admit. When Kitty is upset, he doesn't just brush it off like everyone else, he sticks around to tell her it's okay to cry and that it'll make her feel better (🥺❤️) along with Mary (surrogatemumanddad). They stay with her until she falls asleep and LOOK at how they melt when she does sleep, like LOOK

When Kitty sings, look at the faces Robin and Mary make, tell me those AREN'T the faces of parental bliss😂 (I also don't think it's a coincidence that they sat Robin and Mary next to each other in that scene).

Just the way they look at Kitty in general

Then there's this..

Kitty got the lead role an he was proud, need I say more...And during their pantomime rehearsal when Fanny badmouths Kitty (Cinderella), the look on Robin's face. He's like 'we're just gonna ALLOW this?!

・Robin most likely related to Pat in most ways. He knows what it's like to be taken away from his family so quickly so soon, especially with so much depending on him. When Pat goes into a depressive state over his family coming to pay their respects, especially with his wife and former best friend, he gets conflicted. But look at Robin, he's hella quick to jump in and correct Thomas's harshness. He knows how it feels after all; being forced to just WATCH your family mourne, not being able to tell them you're alright, and then comes a day where they stop coming. Robin most likely lingered in that spot where he died for hours in confusion, until his tribe began to search, and when they finally found him it devastated them. His sister's sorrowful, wailing cries, his children huddled around him trying to wake him up, the elders and possibly his parents saying blessing to Moonah to watch over him😭Robin doesn't sugarcoat the situation, like telling Pat to enjoy it while it lasts or to hope for the best, he tells Pat how it REALLY is because he's been there countless times with countless tribes and families. Times gonna pass, things are gonna change and you won't see the people you love ever again, but more will come (honestly Robin should be called 'Owl' cause he's wise asf🥹❤️)

Robin, you marvelous man, stunning specimen, special little scrunkly, NEVER change you're the loml Fr❤️❤️😭

#bbc ghosts #robin the caveman #larry rickard

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bluelolblue · 2 months

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I present more Santino headcanons🍷

I love talking about him, I'm literally him :>

@evren-sadwrn you wanted more Santino headcanons AND I GIVE YOU MORE SANTINO HEADCANONS ‼️

I'm starting with sad/angst stuff bc I'm feeling like it but TRUST THE PROCESS

Santi started smoking as a teen, (like idk 16-17 years old) as a coping mechanism from all the stress that he's been going through, mostly bc of his father bullshit and that age was just rough for him

Vincent was kinda like his first boyfriend but that mf was very toxic with him. And Santino couldn't see that at first bc he was young and in love but later on he realized how he was actually being treated and just used, he broke up with him. I'm talking about how Vincent manipulated the shit out of him all the time and just used everything he told him against him. Even his traumatic experiences. Vincent used it against him in arguments to get what he wants

Santino learned how to control his emotions. He can switch up fast. But it's not a good thing. He literally goes into the bathroom while fighting back his tears, looks at himself and kinda just breaths through it and just smiles like he didn't want to scream and cry a second ago

He likes to sing (I can't remember if I mentioned it already?) but ONLY around people he trusts and can actually be himself around...so not often and not too many people

Speaking of people he trusts...he barely had any friends growing up. I mean, he was the Camorra's heir ofc it's gonna be a struggle to find true friends. However, Ares still remained loyal to him through years and that's something he values. Loyalty. (They had crushes on each other for some time)

Aahhh I always talk about him and John AND I WILL CONTINUE-

Santino was literally jealous of Helen. Because she hit the jackpot. John is everything Santino is looking for in a relationship. John is caring, loyal, romantic, helpful, careful, gentle...the list just keeps going

And that's something Santino needs.. he needs to heal

Thing about Santino is that...he knows he's broken on the inside, he can feel it yet sometimes he doesn't bother with trying to help himself. He just suffers in silence because he got used to it...but he kinda knows that's not right

Okay how about some positive stuff :D

Santino has a collection of some books he's into. Like...a full collection of A LOT of books that he ACTUALLY read.

Santino actually likes watching football (or soccer, so some of you don't get confused) but only when it's like World or Europe competition, not clubs. And he's gonna be screaming and cursing in Italian at the tv

I wrote this already but- his guilty pleasure is pizza, spaghetti and risotto and he likes all that in the most basic way. Like plain cheese pizza. But not the fucking frozen ones, he's gonna kill whoever offers him frozen pizza.

Santino discovered most of his kinks with John. Because John was up for anything, really:

"Choking? Alright but I'll be gentle."

"No, you don't have to be~"

"...Santino, we talked about this-"

John just doesn't want to hurt him, even if it's by accident

Not to mention the hair pulling UMNHH~ sorry, got a bit excited :3

Yeah he's very...VERY into the hair pulling

He also just likes the feeling of someone rubbing his head, like playing with his hair. When John discovered that, he did that to him every night while they were cuddling in bed until Santino fell asleep. It's such a comforting thing that Santino can't get enough of. *sighs* it has to do with the trauma...

Yes, he likes to tease and be very flirty with John. And he absolutely loves to wear his shirts in the morning after their sexy time- or when he's cold or can't find his shirt (*coughs* or it got ripped *coughs*), John is like: "You can have mine :)" and it's too big for Santino so it kinda looks funny but they both like it so it's fine. And Santino likes the way it smells like John

The fucking praises. He eats that shit up:

"You're such a good boy, Santi..."

"You're doing so good for me..."

Praises like that

And he doesn't mind when the dog joins them in bed before sleeping. If they're in um...flirty mood however, they just kinda give the dog some treats and lead it outside of the bedroom

I GOT CARRIED AWAY-

He smokes after sex most of the time

He has this mindset on: "I don't want to be like my father." But then keeps doing similar things his father did...like smoking and he often catches himself even acting like him- mostly when he snaps at someone and he regrets it

He loves spending time at the beach. Summer time, he's gonna be in Italy on the beaches (yk what? He even goes to Croatia during summer, when I catch him there) so he likes to get some tan and breathe in the scent of the sea and yeah go for a swim

John also took him there few times during nights so it's only them two and it was really romantic. At the beach during night, looking at the sky and how the moon reflects on the sea

He likes strawberries...and grapes...most of the fruits, bc why not

When he tries not to live a day on cigarettes and coffee, he actually eats some fruit as a snack

His breakfast is: Cappuccino or other type of coffee that he feels like having, black coffee when...when um...it gets rough or he is hangover and then a cigarette...on bad days, it's even worse

Someone give him some tiramisu, he loves it

Anyways- I'M HAPPY TO TALK ABOUT MY ITALIAN HUSBAND 😫 🇮🇹 ‼️

I will probably write more headcanons about him again...bc like, I stan him and he's my husband

Here are my first headcanons about him

#santino d’antonio #john wick #headcanons #please keep feeding my hyperfixation over him #he is my husband but he is also john's husband #but he is everyone's favorite italian #eating up everything about him fr #im cooking about him...lots of it too #:3

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horror-lady00 · 1 month

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I decided to start translating my Heather Dean fic. Here's a prolog (Veronica's POV) :p

When you are a teenager, death still is a bit of a murky subject. On one hand, you know it exists, on the other you don’t think it’s about you. Death never bothers a teen, until something grabs you by the neck and firmly states, “Games are over, sonny. Now shit gets real”. For most, such wake up call is death of your beloved Golfish or Hamster. Other times a cat, who was in the family before you were born. My wake up call was sound of shattered glass, when body of Heather Chandler broke it in myriad pieces. It felt like a dream at that moment. As if I regained some silver of child’s innocence, that refused to believe, that she was truly dead. That is, until I felt squeeze of my shoulder. I turned to JD, who gave me a stern look. That’s when I knew, It was real.

Days before funerals I was like in a fog. My parents were saying words of empty support. They reminisced on what a good girl Heather was and mourned this great loss. Shit, they didn’t knew her at all! On that day, I could’ve not go. I could have stayed in bed whole day and pretend, that everything is okay. To think, that just in the morning Heather will call and ask, if I need a ride to school. But different Heather was on the other side of the phone. McNamara could barely put words together. It was clear as day, that she wasn’t feeling any better, than me. So when Duke took the phone and simply said, “Come, I won’t manage alone here”, I couldn’t say no.

In church, it felt suffocating. I remember visiting Synagogue, when I was just a kid… but that was years ago. Attendants were mostly students of Westerburg, only couple of parents has showed up. I don’t remember Heather’s parents at all. Did they not showed up to say final goodbye to they own daughter? It got worse, when they asked us to come to the coffin. I didn’t had to say anything outloud… but it didn’t made it easy. Heather didn’t even looked dead! Just asleep. In all her bitchy glory… “Heather would hate this dress. She would either be burried in red or not burried at all… If it means something to you, I’m sorry. I know, technically that’s not even my fault, but… my conscience isn’t completely dead yet. I hope something good will come out of this! I just want my school to be a good place”. I didn’t knew to whom I was saying those words. Maybe to Heather, maybe to God himself? It doesn’t matter. The ceremony was over and I headed to the exit. Rest of my pierce were leaving too, but I noticed Heather waving me to come over. She and Heather were standing by saucer with holly water, seemingly just finished some kind of conversation. “Ronny”, they said at the same time. “Hey”, I answerd, putting my hand on the side, opposite of Heather. “Have any plans for the evening?” hastily asked golden Heather nervously tapping her fingers Heather McNamara was always a bit nervous kind of girl. She spoke loud and, at times, out of line. But we, her friends, were used to those quirks of her. I smiled and Heather just shook her head. “Nothing special”, I answered, “Mourn… Maybe watch some TV”. “Maybe a sleepover!? At your house”, she said and tapping of her fingers became more rapid. “It’ll help to distract ourselves”, added Heather. Sweet Heather, she seemed a lot calmer, than our mutual friend. But I knew her long enough, to notice minor signs of equal nervousness in her movements. “We shouldn’t be alone right now. Right?” I gave that thought a moment. There was no objective reasons to say no. But the way those two act was suspicious. Do they know? But… how? I throw silly idea to the side immediately. “Yeah, sure. Sounds great”.

#heathers #heather chandler #veronica sawyer #heather duke #heather mcnamara #chansaw #heather dean au

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fizzingwizard · 7 months

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personal

My dad's shared a thing on Facebook which is about relationships, and how they aren't all heart eyes and rainbows all the time, and it takes more than just luck to make them last, it takes real commitment and understanding... All good so far.

My problem with it is it lists certain things couples in strong relationships do: compromise, overlook faults, forgive each other, endure problems.

All STILL good with me... if only it took care to mention as well something like "face one's own shortcomings" "divide the load fairly" "make an effort for each other's sake."

I know from watching my parents that just suffering together, because of each other, isn't enough to make a relationship last. Granted, my mom did a lot more of the compromising and overlooking of faults - my dad didn't bend on a lot, and he didn't often have anything to forgive my mom for.

But the thing is, my mom stayed married to him for over 25 years. The last ten, she told me, weren't great. The divorce was coming. However, she never knew it until the last moment - the moment when she finally decided. Before then, she always forgave, always overlooked, and endured endured endured.

When she decided to end it at last, she STILL gave my dad one last chance: she asked him to take her on a date. She wasn't expecting fireworks and the keys to the city. Just to be treated with attention, and made to feel wanted.

Well, my dad showed up for the date... And that's about all he did. There was no effort. It seemed like just another night. So she realized, this is what the future will be like if I stay with him. He's not going to change.

She put up with so much over the years. She wasn't a total pushover - she DID ask for help. My dad would always make an attempt at it... I can't really call it making an effort though. He would do whatever it was up to his standards, which could be pretty low, never to hers, which were NOT unreasonably high.

It's very important to see each other as flawed individuals and love each other in spite of our faults. But if you overlook every fault, out of love, and the other person doesn't take into consideration how their faults hurt you, then you'll just go on hurting indefinitely. That's what I'm saying. People can't change certain things, but other things they can, or at least they can figure out a new system or way to ensure their weak points aren't so crushingly heavy on their partners.

At home, my dad had an office. It was very small. But it was all his. It was covered in his stuff: train sets, Beatles paraphernalia, pictures of his youth. He had a keyboard and a computer and his guitar and he would make music in there, or watch TV, for hours and hours, only coming out to eat dinner. Meanwhile, my mom didn't have any space for herself. Why couldn't she have their bedroom? Well, because my dad insisted on a very large bed. In his defense, he's a big guy. But I'm not kidding when I say that aside from that bed, there was barely enough room for one person to shimmy in and out of the room. It was NOT my mom's space, and she often didn't even sleep in it because of my dad's snoring (OR his white noise machine).

We all knew my mom wanted her own space. She told us. We had a basement that was mostly finished and didn't get used that much, so she decided to make herself a space down there. What my dad should have done was prioritize that. My mom hadn't had any space to herself at all since having kids - we were teens by then and my parents had owned the house for a few years. She worked and took care of us and did the errands and cooked the meals and and and... My dad pretty much just went to work and came home most of the time. (Not to make him sound lazy: he also did the mowing, maintenance work around the house and most of the driving. The thing is the stuff my mom did was daily. His was extras that cropped up only at certain times.) It should have been obvious to my dad that my mom didn't only deserve her own space, she needed it. But he left it to her. Meanwhile, various things going on, house renovations, etc, meant that making my mom's space got pushed back and back and back, and the available space as well got smaller and smaller. In the end all she had was a desk in the wide open basement that anyone could come to any time, whereas my dad's office had its own door.

It's stuff like that which gets me. It would have been an act of love to notice your partner needs something and help them get it. But to my dad, it was no different than my mom saying she wanted a manicure: just for fun, and while of course he supported her in it, it was totally on her to go and get.

We kids followed my dad's example in regards to my mom. When she was upset, he would line us up and make us listen to her yell and cry. This didn't happen often (years later she blamed PMS, and after said migraines - honestly though I think it was just way too much cumulative stress and no support). But when it did, the idea was pretty much just for us to listen to her. And then nothing would change. At first we could say it was because my dad had a full time job and was tired enough himself. But he lost the job and never really had one after that. He was just home. And then it was, well, he's depressed. But it continued even when he got pretty comfortable. My dad is interesting in that he can be very sentimental and reflective at times, but always has a strong enough self-love to power through. (This describes me too. It's an aspect of myself I like and am grateful for. But, as much as I do love my dad, I also really, really struggle with every way I resemble him.) And we are talking many years here, during which time my brother's mental health collapsed too, and my dad didn't help by always getting in fights with him. My mom wound up supporting my dad and my brother pretty much by herself. She did her best to support me too. But I was at college and tried hard to just not need support.

My dad definitely was capable of doing more for my mom the whole time. He just didn't. His life was comfortable and convenient, and he considered it her job to make sure, if she needed something, she would ask for it. But when she did ask, it led to nothing, or only an attempt at it. (I'll never forget the year he got her a snuggie for Christmas and she was like -___- and I gave her jewelry I picked out while considering her style and she liked it so much that he got jealous :P) At that point, in his eyes, it was her job to not only ask for things, but to make sure he knew just how much she wanted it. Like there are degrees to requests from your partner. I mean, sure, "I'm having a heart attack and need to be rushed to the hospital" is definitely more pressing than "I need more help with housework." But that housework request still isn't something you can just ignore until your partner starts nagging (aka having the audacity to ask you again for what you didn't do the first time around), in which case you worm out of it or do as little of it as possible... I mean come on.

I so wish that as a kid I'd had more clarity about my parents' relationship. But they said everything was okay, and I didn't know how any other relationships looked, so I just believed them. My mom of course didn't want to bad mouth my dad to me. But I wish she would have been more honest while I was at least high school age. I loved both my parents and couldn't pick a side, but I could have been more understanding of how difficult it was for my mom on a daily basis. My mom is too nice to have said anything that would make me resent my dad. Not to mention, my dad, although he has many good points, is also perfectly good at making people resent him all by himself.

So yeah. Love is forgiving and enduring and all that. But it's NOT just getting steamrollered by a partner who says "Love is accepting me exactly as I am."

Geez, another memory: My brother was having a bad day during the worst years of his mental health problems. I guess he was 18 or 19 then. I was home from college for Christmas. I had spent every day listening to him and how he talked to us all, especially to my mom, who only ever supported him. I had been reading Captain Awkward religiously, trying to learn how to support my brother, while also supporting my parents, and not be ignorant. I told my mom about a Captain Awkward post that talked about letting your loved one with mental illness know how their treatment of you is affecting you in a loving and understanding manner. It pretty much said, being supportive isn't the same as being a doormat. I mean this stuff lasts years - decades. Getting angry and blaming the person who is going through so much is never the way, but there were some example phrases that could be used to try to meet in the middle and create some peace for a while. Well, I convinced my mom to try it. I heard everything she said to my brother. Her voice was low, gentle, and not accusing. My brother shouted so loudly it made me jump all the way in the other room, and send my mom racing down the hallway in shock. My brother came after roaring about how no one understood him or cared about him. For him, that's where he was at, I guess. He's doing much better now, and we've loved him and have been proud of him the whole time.

But. Please think of my mother. Who was going through that sort of thing constantly, without so much as an apology. She's given her heart, her time, and even her money to take care of her family whenever we were in need, and she really never got anything much back. Even me, although I've been one of the fortunate ones not to have mental illness, and to be able to take of myself for the most part. I used to dream of making some money and sending my mom on the trip to Italy she's always dreamed of. I have no money. I chose to teach pre-K like an idiot. I love it but the salary is peanuts and no one's had a raise in ten years. And I lost so much of my savings just paying off student loans. It'll take a miracle to get me to a point of financial stability where I'm able to do that kind of nice thing for my mom while she's still independent and able to go do it. As a teenager I didn't understand why money was so important, because I had no idea how much of it you need just to get by, let alone have any extras. And I developed a personality that is just the worst possible for selling anything. I can't even sell my school lol. I can't lie at all. If I think something is stupid I can't hide it. In that way I'm my own worst enemy every single day.

I'm making myself upset now :P

#personal

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fdrsamericanflagduckfloaty · 7 months

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Can I have a random history fact that you really like for some reason? I want to annoy my family with history facts. If you have a list that’d be amazing infodump on me-

oh my god ok sO

i'd say a favorite would be, because TR could be such a FUCKING IDIOT, he was at this little formal reception right? And he was speaking with Mark Hanna, and accompanying Hanna was a Frenchwoman named Henriette Adler. And TR was so enthusiastic and energetic in his speaking (in rapid French) that his arm started to get closer to her bodice (almost destroying it/knocking it off.). But INSTEAD, this DUMBASS proceeded to accidentally elbow a silk rose and some gauze off. He started apologizing profusely but did NOT STOP THE WAR RHETORIC in FRENCH and thankfully it was fixed by someone getting a safety pin.

But that was. So. Not okay 😭😭 it was recreated in a Rough Riders 2 part tv mini-series and it's so embarrassing each time I watch istg

NEXT okay this is gonna seem rlly not-detailed but when you have a PDF of a TR book you can get details mkay

so like Alice Roosevelt, badass bitch, smoked while she was a teen. Okay?? Well I was reading a book on her and TO MY SURPRISE she let her 13 YEAR OLD BROTHER (Kermit) smoke a cigar with her. IS THAT NOT- okay im- a little bit OUT THERE but i digress

Also the entire Bisexual JFK theory is. Very very believable but I WILL NOT GET INTO THAT but tbh he probably was BUT ANYWAY

Also wanted to mention this list on wiki exists

And the GHWB incident is that this mf, AS THE PRESIDENT, vomited and then fainted on THE PRIME MINISTER OF JAPAN AT THE TIME. america has the stupidest stories ever i swear to god

This next one, which is also stupidly funny as fuck to me but also hella messed up, is that, okay, so TR had a riding accident when he was younger when Alice was still a tiny toddler. And he returned home with fucked clothing, a broken arm, and a bloody face. Like he looked like he was a murderer mk. And he, yknow, sees his daughter, goes running to her. She fucking SCREAMS. this man is NOT her father who is this RED MAN GET HIM AWAY WHAT THE HELL.

But he catches her and he's all bloody and sweaty and she is SCREAMING so he. Guess what. Does not put her down. Does not try to CALM HER DOWN.

He SHAKES HER. and im sorry but the image 😭 bloody ass TR shaking his daughter like a rattle im sorry

but when she DOES NOT CALM DOWN AS ONE WOULD NOT AND SCREAMS LOUDER, he SHAKES HER HARDER. i cannot make this shit up

oh my god anyways

also you likely know this but when it was thought that tomatoes were poisonous, Thomas Jefferson really ate one in front of people and they thought he was dying but when he was fine they were like "..... what the fuck"

Aaron Burr also lit himself on fire TWICE

Burr also bought a coconut for like 70 dollars or smth

(im just listing shit i know i cant think of any faves rn my brain blanked as soon as i read ur ask)

!! A favorite WOULD be that TR killed a man with his bare hands and was like rlly pumped about it but you already know that

And when some of his men were like 'we are NOT going up hill no ohmg' he was like 'DO IT OR I KILL YOU MYSELF' and they, yknow, ran up the hill

because. that is. threatening

I also would like to mention the insanity that was Lincoln liking cats and Lincoln growing a beard because a child more or less said he was ugly without one and Lincoln also maybe being bisexual

JFK's nickname by his wife, Jackie, was Bunny, bc apparently he fucked like a rabbit hjkglkmhklhkmkljk

Buchanan (James Buchanan, yknow, a president) might've been gay

Thomas Jefferson also called John Adams a hermaphrodite and i find that funny but also like. why. wh. where did you get that

Also this isnt a history fact but if i wanted to i could probably gaslight someone into thinking Andrew Jackson was on bathsalts bc a podcast i was watching mocked him by saying he was on bathsalts and tbh. accurate

Jefferson also had a ram on the White House grounds and did not get rid of it until AFTER it either harmed or killed a little boy

Harry S Truman and Ulysses S Grant both have an S as their middle name, but both of those S's mean nothing. Neither. Crazy that both S mean absolutely nothing

Grant's first name was also Hiram!!

Truman and his wife also needed to replace a bed during the white house cause they may or may not have *slams barbies together* so hard that they broke the bed

I'd also like to say the William Howard Taft bathtub myth is false klhmkhmj but ALSO i find it rlly sweet how, during TR's funeral, he was sobbing because, even tho TR was bitter during him for their last few years, Taft still considered TR a friend, and when Archie (TR's second youngest son--youngest at his funeral, as Quentin died in 1918) noticed him sobbing he was like 'come over here, you're a family friend.'

i forget the exact line but it was something close to that effect. So even though TR held a grudge, his kids didn't.

Apparently TR and Edith also fought like their entire marriage over how to pronounce Tomato and I'd like to know how he pronounced it cause wtf do you mean

ALSO for once it is not American BUT: Winston Churchill and his wife, Clementine, had nicknames for each other. Animal nicknames. His was Pig. I forget hers but. Really. P i g .

She also once threw a plate of something (asparagus or smth i dont remember) at his face and it instead hit the wall so like bad bitch moment

And finally:

all of our presidents were DUMBASSES <3

(also the Hoover Dam is named after Herbert Hoover, not J. Edgar Hoover, i think that's a common misconception.)

OH the Roosevelts also had a pet racoon for a period of time. so whenever i see something reference the Coolidge's pet racoon, Rebecca, I want to be like 'yknow the roosevelts had one pre-white-house days'

i hope thats enough idk

#🐝#sorry for sounding fucking insane #also since im in denial still i'd say the only reason quentin roosevelt died so young is because the world was not ready for him #he was described as being just like his father therefore that is why i say this #do not attempt to correct me

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evelhak · 1 year

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Hello! For the anime asks: 1, 11, 12, 22, and 26. :D

Thank you, always a pleasure to share perspectives with you!

1. I already talked about my first anime in the previous ask here, so I'll talk about another early one that was impactful. One of our babysitters when my little siblings were still very little, had the anime version of Little Women on VHS and I wanted to watch nothing else for months. I think I was nine, and I was completely taken by the style, the huge eyes and the cute historical outfits. It affected my drawing for years. I actually saw the anime before I read the book, although I did read it during the same year at school, when I realized it was a book. Of course, when I later watched the -94 Little Women movie, I was so weirded out that Jo wasn't a blonde and Amy wasn't a brunette. Haha, I must have ignored their descriptions in the book, since I had the anime version in my head so vividly.

11. Anime I didn't expect to like but did... Romantic Killer!! It's probably the only new anime I've watched last year, but it was GENIUS. I really didn't expect anything of it, I watched it because someone made me, and for the first few episodes I was just so annoyed, because I thought I knew how it was going to go. BOY was I wrong. If you haven't watched it, don't for the love of god spoil yourself, just go watch it. I was floored. I was SO happy an anime like that was made.

12. Anime that should get more attention from others... Well, I really really want Kaleido Star to have an active fandom. I always go back to it. Yes, it's old by some standards and it shows, but it's such a rare gem. It was doing a lot of the key shonen/sports anime themes we see in newer shows too, in way that was really impactful to me as teen, and the most AMAZING part of it is that it has two female leads who have THAT dynamic, that shonen/sports anime partner dynamic, the soul connection, the completely shippable relationship with more depth than anything else in the show. I'm so sad how there's barely any fanfiction of Kaleido Star and most of it focuses on the comic relief compulsory straight relationship option, which is like... YOU KNOW. The cute character who can't stop chasing after the main character despite getting ignored every single time. Meanwhile, there's the obvious most impactful and meaningful person in the main character's life right there, they just happen to be the same gender, and yes they seem totally queer coded to me. (Ok fine, there's a more serious female-male relationship option too, but I swear the mc is so bi/pan coded.) Seriously, if you like borderline magical sports anime with larger than life partnership and a main character who wants to find unity and love and is willing to do anything to solve conflicts and achieve both a peaceful community based on the joy of the sport AND personal success at the same time without compromises, what the HELL are you doing not watching Kaleido Star??

22. Age I started watching anime... technically I was eight when I saw the first one that made me love anime, but I didn't become an obsessive anime watcher until I was 11, because I didn't have that many opportunities to watch it before that. I did watch all the card game anime that was on TV when I was younger, and Pokémon and Digimon, but it wasn't until I was 11-12 when people started really uploading anime on YouTube, which is how I gained access to much more of it. My English was still so-so, and I didn't understand half of the subtitles, but I still watched obsessively and slowly got better.

26. Manga you have read all the way through... Hmm, this doesn't make a lot of sense, since I was always primarily a manga reader as soon as I got my hands on it. So, it's more likely that I have read the manga but not watched the anime, though if I like something, I do both usually. Could the question mean a manga I read in one sitting, or something? I don't know, they vary so much in length that question doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me either. But I did routinely read a LOT of manga in one sitting when I was in middle school and high school. Specifically shojo manga. I was an aroace autistic dork trying to navigate school life, so I read shojo manga obsessively because it was my way of learning how my friends think, what the world of girls is like, how the rules of relationships work and everything, without having to ask. (I read a lot of YA books too.) I wasn't that great at masking my differences until I was in high school, but I did always have a talent for absorbing people's perspectives and behavioural patterns, so... me reading all that material and always observing everyone around me and reflecting it through what I read, pretty much accidentally turned me into a relationship expert everyone was always asking advice from, despite of me having no romantic involvements myself. It was odd... Lol, what would everyone have thought, if they'd known where my perceived wisdom was coming from. It seems like such a joke now.

#anime ask #romantic killer #kaleido star #little women

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milkywaygg · 2 years

Text

Lost Child Chapter 3

Over the next week, things had been quite tense even since Darren and Linnie had that argument at the hospital. More often than not, Linnie would head to work at the nursery in the mornings, muttering to himself about Julie’s well-being and keeping Darren awake, and would often call Darren late in the evenings, telling him that he’d be late. Although Darren didn’t mind the break from Linnie’s seemingly endless nagging, he did start to feel uneasy from all the awkwardness. However, Darren was hell-bent on not apologizing just in case he was right about Julie being Linnie’s child.

Was abandoning a child something that Linnie would do? Darren didn’t necessarily believe so, and the accusation seemed far-fetched, but Darren had still remembered and lingered on his disappearance when he was a pre-teen, using the “I was lost” excuse to stay away from home for 3,000 years, especially since he left him alone with Nora for that long. Darren often found himself wondering if Linnie was just as bad as her, given the circumstances.

As he settled in to watch TV after heating up a cup of noodles, Darren’s phone vibrated, revealing Linnie’s caller ID.

“What? I thought you were at the hospital?”, Darren asked, his mouth somewhat full.

“I am. Julie’s getting discharged today, so I’m bringing her by the apartment and letting her stay until we get in touch with the police and figure out where her family is.”, Linnie said, “I’d like to make sure she’s in a healthy state first before we go, and make sure all her needs are met. I do need you to do something for me Darren, please?”

“What’s that?”

“Be nice to her when she gets here. The poor dear is scared out of her mind right now, and she doesn’t need people getting snippy at her.”

“When am I snippy?”, Darren asked, immediately getting defensive. Linnie sighed.

“Darren please? I know the situation is less than ideal, but it’s our responsibility to help others in need, and it didn’t seem like anyone else was willing to lend a hand. Just please be nice to her and help her if she needs it. That’s all I ask. You two don’t have to be best friends, but I just want to make sure she gets the love and care she needs.”

“Fine. Just tell her not to touch the beers in the fridge.”, Darren snorted, “When will you two be back?”

“Soon. I’m just waiting on the receptionist to bring the paperwork out. Oh, looks like that’s them. I’ve got to go. We’ll be home as soon as we can, ok? I love you.”, Linnie finished his statement before hanging up, leaving Darren to roll his eyes at his phone. He never would have thought the smallest ounce of pity he shows to Julie would lead to her trampling over their lives, and making Linnie and Darren out to be some sort of babysitters. All he wanted was to make sure the kid got some sort of treatment; he didn’t actually mean to make the house a sanctuary for orphans.

After finishing his noodles, he heard the door creek open, revealing Linnie kneeling down gently and Julie, still shaking slightly as she stared up at Darren, who gave her a rather uninterested look. Linnie ignored it and continued to smile warmly at Julie, coaxing her to get inside.

“It’s alright sweetheart. I promise you’re safe. Darren and I just want to make sure you will be ok until we find your mommy and daddy, ok?”, Linnie said softly, “Why don’t you go watch some TV while I make you something to eat, hm? Will that make you feel better?”

Julie didn’t say anything but nodded quietly. Linnie smiled sadly as he led her towards the living room, where Darren was watching some crime show, barely showing any interest in the child.

“Darren, can you please turn that off? I don’t think that’s appropriate for her to watch.”, Linnie asked, “Do you think you can record the rest of that for later and let her watch something?”

“I mean, given where we found her, I’m sure she’s seen most of this shit in real life already, so I don’t know why I have to.”

“Darren, language! Please!”, Linnie shouted, as Julie started to squirm uncomfortable, “It’s still not something a 5,000 year old needs to be involved with. It won’t even be for that long anyways. It’ll only be until I’m finished with dinner. Please Darren?”

“Dad, there’s like 15 minutes left, ok? She can wait until then.”, Darren snapped, making Linnie flinch back and Julie look up at Linnie, twiddling her fingers.

“No, it’s ok. He can watch.”, she said quietly, breaking Linnie’s heart. Upon hearing this, Darren smirked slightly.

“See, even the kid agrees. You can both wait 15 minutes.”, Darren snorted as he continued to watch his show. Linnie glared a bit at Darren before turning to Julie, kneeling down in front of her.

“Well, how about you come help me in the kitchen dear? I could sure use of the world’s greatest chefs right now.”, Linnie said, smiling and laughing a bit at his statement to try and make Julie comfortable. Taking his hand, Julie walked close to Linnie’s leg while Darren continued to stare at the TV, until he scrunched his face right up, and smelt somewhat rather nauseating coming from Julie’s direction.

“Damn, when was the last time you showered kid?”, Darren asked, making the two stop in their tracks, “You know you are allowed to use the bathroom right?”

“Uhmmm…”, Julie said, her face turning red and squirming a bit. Linnie frowned and knelt down, as Darren’s face scrunched up, looking at the child with disgust.

“Damn, don’t you know what a bathroom is, kid? You can’t learn to use the toilet?”, Darren snapped, causing Julie to jump in her place and back up from Linnie and Darren, shaking, and tearing up. Linnie whined gently before glaring at Darren and looking sympathetically at Julie.

“Sweetheart, it’s ok Oh there there, accidents happen love. It’s ok. Come on, let’s get you to the bathroom dear.”, Linnie said, before snapping his head back at Darren, “When I get out, we need to talk.”

“About what? She’s too old to be doing shit like that!”, Darren yelled, causing Julie to cry even more. Linnie ignored him, kneeling down to comfort Julie as the two entered the bathroom. It took them a good while to get done, as Darren could still hear some sniffles and Linnie’s comforting words echoing in the halls, alongside the opening and closing of bathroom drawers and Julie apologizing, and begging Linnie to not him it. As he listened in on the conversation however, as Julie kept begging and pleading for her life and Linnie trying to tell her he would never hurt her, Darren’s stomach started to ache with guilt. Yeah, a 5,000 was way too old to be having accidents like that, and it wasn’t like she made any attempt at the bathroom, but maybe there’s something he doesn’t know. He knew Linnie would never even hurt a fly, so the fact that Julie was crying and asking him not to hit her made him arch a brow.

After a while, Darrne heard the crying calm down and both Julie and Linnie left the bathroom, Julie still sniffing slighty.

“There there now, are you feeling better?”, Linnie asked kindly, gaining a nod from Julie, “That’s good love. Here, you must be worn out after all that crying. Why don’t you take a nap for a little while so I can talk to my son? I think that might make you feel even better, and then we can all have a nice dinner together! Won’t that be nice?”

“C-Can we have Mac and Cheese?”

“Of course, dear. Maybe some chicken on the side as well to put some meat on your bones.”, Linnie smiled gently, leading the child into the bedroom. “I’ll come check on you in a little bit. Nighty night.”

After closing the door, Linnie motioned for Darren to join him in the kitchen as he frowned at him, disapprovingly. Darren rolled his eyes and did as he was told, Linnie’s arms folding in front of him.

“What was that about? You know how sensitive she is.”, Linnie scolded, though not raising his voice.

“Well, I’m not wrong! Don’t you think she’s too old to be doing shit like that? Plus, she made no attempt to go to the bathroom! How else is she going to learn.”

“Darren, you really need to learn how to be more sensitive.”, Linnie sighed, “She’s obviously scared out of her mind and has no idea what’s going on and you yelling at her isn’t going to help.”

“Well she could have at least tried, or ask for a bathroom, not stand their like a buffoon.”

“Darren, knock it off, right now. She’s a child, and you have no right talking about a child like that, especially one like Julie.”, Linnie scolded, “You just don’t know what she’s been through. I’m worried that something was going on with her mommy and daddy.”

“Yeah, about that.”, Darren started, “What was up with all the screaming? She kept begging for you not to hit her.”

“I know, I felt awful. I saw a couple more scars on her body while I was cleaning her up, so I’m wondering if her mommy and daddy aren’t taking care of her like they should.”

“I mean, I’m not sure if simple scars are enough evidence, but her behavior is weird as well.”, Darren said, his tone becoming somewhat skeptical, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a child act the way they have.”

“Unfortunately, I have.”, Linnie said sadly, taking a seat at the kitchen table and motioning for Darren to follow him, “I’ve seen a couple of kids cower in fear when I got close to them, especially when I had to put some in time out after fighting with friends. They start crying and beg me not to hit them, which of course I never do. It’s just…it breaks my heart. No one should ever hurt a child.”

“Yeah well, they do. People are assholes.”, Darren snarled, being reminded of his own mother, “So, what the hell are we going to do? We’re still going to the police, right?”

“Right. I think it might be wise if either you and I took her to the doctor to examine her wounds first, to gather some sort of documentation. I guess I can take her after work tomorrow.”

“I mean, I can just take her. I’m not really doing anything other than this stupid ass job hunt.”

“I’m not sure, Darren. No offense but I don’t think she trusts you quite yet.”, Linnie said softly, “Well, I guess I’ll just take the morning off and take her, unless you want to come?”

“Might as well. I wanna know what’s going on with this kid.”, Darren said, making Linnie smiled softly, “What?”

“Nice of you to finally came about someone other than yourself for once.”

“W-what? No..Just being a good Samaritan that’s all.”, Darren excused himself, getting up from the table, “Now, if you’re done. I’m going back to my TV. Let me know when dinner’s ready.”

#fairly oddparents #fanfic #cosma family

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mythoughtsxxblog · 2 years

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19 years ago today (September 23 2003) One Tree Hill premiered on the WB.

To celebrate I thought I'd post yet another opinion thread about my favorite show of all time.

Nathan Scott is quite possibly the best teen drama boy/man to ever exist. He had his flaws, but was ultimately the best husband, father, brother, and son anyone could ask for. Despite having a rough childhood, he managed to overcome and stop the toxic cycle of neglect/abuse. He made his children's lives something he had wished for himself. It takes a strong person to do that. Forever will love this man.

Lucas Scott aggravates me to no end.

3x20 is TV excellence. That no look shot is iconic and nothing will ever top that moment in TV.

Nobody does music like OTH. All those performances? Amazing.

Nathan and Haley >>>>> every other couple on the show. Idc what anyone says they were the #1 ship to come out of OTH. They went through hard times, but came out stronger in the end. I don't think there's any other TV couple with this much of a hold on me. And I've watched a lot of TV shows lol. They make me feel so comfy and warm inside. They're safe and overall written so damn well.

Going with what I said above, James and Joy's chemistry is what made Naley work tbh. They had such insane chemistry and it's mind boggling that they never even had a chemistry read when auditioning. OTH writers struck gold with them.

Dan is one of the best villains in TV show history.

Grandpa Dan....an angel lmao

It legit infuriates me that CMM was looked at as the heartthrob of the show when James Lafferty was right there. That man was and is still gorgeous. And if I'm being honest, his acting felt more natural to me than CMM. But that's a conversation for another day lol

We should've got more Skills than Mouth

Brooke's best seasons were the adult seasons tbh. Yes, she had iconic moments in the high school years, but her actual development doesn't really hit until the adult years imo

I'm convinced they only did the Nathan/Brooke sextape because they wanted the audience to sympathize with Peyton. Also Nathan and Brooke are quite possibly the most liked characters, the writers probably thought why not try destroying their development 🙄🙄

I loved Jamie 🤷🏻‍♀️ it seems like so many people find him annoying but I loved him lol I can understand why he might be annoying to some, but I really enjoyed him and thought he was a great addition to the show. He had great chemistry with all the core characters

6x03 is the saddest episode in TV history and if you don't cry watching it, you're not human

Nathan's NBA story arc is amazing storytelling. I loved every minute of it and believe it's one of, if not, the best story arc to come out of the show

Peyton was so much more likeable when she wasn't with Lucas. I honestly enjoyed her and Lucas being friends way more than when they got together

I didn't mind Lucas and Lindsay

Season 9 was so chaotic, but I loved it

I loved how Julian went from this hot mysterious producer to an absolute dork that loved chasing butterflies. Best development lol

This cast deserved an award for 3x16. The acting was on point. The storyline was on point. One of the most well done sch*ol sh*oting episodes I've seen a TV show pull off. It's a shame they barely got any credit for it

Never got the appeal to Karen/Keith. I honestly shipped Deb/Keith more lol

Nathan's depression storyline deserved better. The writers dropped the ball on a lot of mental health storylines, but this one in particular upsets me. First it was the race car incident in season 2. He should've gone to therapy. Then it was season 5 and his back injury. It felt as though he was being told get over it and "man up" when that sends a pretty toxic message. The scene with Peyton and him in the hospital pissed me off. As if seeing a child with cancer is supposed to make him feel better. I get what they were trying to get across, but it could've been done differently. Also Haley throwing dishes/bottles???? Why? Great acting moment from Joy, but unnecessary for Haley's character. I also applaud James for his acting throughout this storyline. Just wish it was written better.

Continuing with the above statement, Haley's depression storyline was done much better. It was a bit rushed, but it wasn't as frustrating to watch.

I always preferred Brooke and Haley's friendship to Brooke and Peyton's

Brooke and Nathan's friendship deserved more screen time. That scene when Nathan goes to check on her before Quentin's funeral will forever break me

Nathan getting harassed in the shower doesn't get talked about enough. Absolutely foul.

Although I loved Brooke getting her happy ending, I kinda wish they settled with her adopting instead of miraculously being able to have kids. Her adopting would've been more relatable.

Rachel deserved better

Quinn deserved better writing. I feel like she was treated more like eye candy than anything. Justice for Shantel VanSanten

FUCK M*RK S*HWAHN

I have many more opinions, but this is already long enough lol. Anyways, this show will always and forever have a place in my heart.

#one tree hill #oth #happy oth day #nathan scott #lucas scott #peyton sawyer #brooke davis #haley james scott #james lafferty #chad michael murray #bethany joy lenz #hilarie burton

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haveamagicalday · 2 years

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No spoilers review!

Two years ago I stumbled onto the horror game Until Dawn. I read the synopsis of the game and was fascinated with the storyline and the interactive element. I even started to watch a youtube stream of it and when I realized how simple the gameplay was, decided to try it out myself. I loved it! Even though I knew the storyline and the big twists it was still a blast to play so I was super pumped when they announced in March that a spiritual successor was coming out just three months later! Well I just finished the game so here are my thoughts:

The Story: It’s the end of summer camp at Hackett’s Quarry and our camp counselors are getting ready to head out. The owner of the camp, Chris Hackett, is somewhat eager for them to leave but unfortunately a tampered with car engine delays them another day. With a cryptic warning to stay indoors for the night, Mr. H leaves the teens to fend for themselves. Ignoring his warnings they decided to have a last summer hurrah but when the sun goes down, the horror begins! You guide nine different characters through the night and your choices will determine whether they live or die.

Out of the nine counselors I kept five alive, which sounds like a lot but it was still a “bad” ending (more on that later). Actually I was surprised I managed to keep them all alive as long as I did. There is a playable prologue and ten chapters in total. Overall the game lasts about 8-10 hours depending on your actions.

Overall I really enjoyed it! I’m already excited to give it another shot. But it still had some flaws so let's start with those.

Cons:

In comparison to Until Dawn, this game was not scary. Now, Until Dawn has a ton of jumpscares. I hate jumpscares but I will admit that they were very effective in creating a lot of tension. At least half, if not more, of the jumpscares in Until Dawn are actually fake out scares so it’s honestly not that bad but there are some really good ones in there that caused me to scream. The Quarry has barely any jumpscares. Which is good! But the gamemakers weren’t able to recapture the tension you felt in Until Dawn in The Quarry without them. There are a ton of ways to make things scary without jumpscares but this game didn’t really try. Because of the lack of jumpscares, I let my guard down pretty early and it never went back up. There were some creepy moments but I never felt scared like I did with Until Dawn.

No big plot twists. Until Dawn has a great twist about 2/3rds of the way through. You think you are playing one type of horror game but then the twist comes and it turns out there is a whole other genre of horror that is happening. The Quarry didn’t have this. There are plenty of reveals and little twists as the story goes on but nowhere near the same magnitude as Until Dawn.

This is a nitpicky one but the game was too dark? Like, visually dark. I couldn’t see shit! I don’t know if I just needed to adjust the settings on my tv or what but a lot of areas were really dark and even when your character had a flashlight, it really didn’t illuminate anything for you

The “epilogue”. After the game ends in Until Dawn we get clips of our surviving characters being interviewed by the police. It’s not much of a follow up but it’s more than what we get here. Instead we get a podcast over the credits with two annoying hosts. They go over all of the clues and evidence you find over the game and piece together a story. The story is the game we just played. It’s literally just a rehash of everything we already know. And it goes on for 20 minutes! Longer I’m assuming if you collected more evidence than I did. I sat through it because I was hoping for an end credit scene (like Until Dawn) and there was none. I was mad lol

I felt that there was a lot more that could have been fleshed out. There are three different clue storylines that you can collect clues for. They are Camp History, Hackett History and The Sideshow History. The sideshow history is probably what excited me the most. Unfortunately because of some of the characters that died in my gameplay, I never got a conclusion to it. It was never really brought up by anybody. Well, I looked up the game after finishing it and learned that if I had kept certain characters alive, I would have not only gotten a conclusion to that storyline but there would have been a whole other final showdown. However, even learning all this, I was still disappointed that there wasn’t more to the sideshow storyline. I think there was so much potential for that to be creepy, maybe even take over the main storyline like Until Dawn with its two different stories and create a whole new experience. And while I like the idea that your choices might lead to you not discovering all the secrets of the summer camp, I don’t want to have to go through another 10 hours of gameplay to maybe get all my questions answered. I’m still going to though.

I wanted more! I wanted more story, more twists, more tension, just overall more! Until Dawn also had its faults and while this game improved on some of them, I still was left wanting more.

So now let’s talk about the good!

Pros

The characters. The characters were fun and distinct! I hated some and loved others. It was a strong cast of characters for this game.

The gameplay. I’ve seen some complain that they dumbed it down but for someone who’s video game playing rangers from the Sims to Super Paper Mario, I appreciated that this one had easier gameplay. Now, the gameplay in Until Dawn was also super easy but this was even easier somehow. I play these games for the story and experience not to be challenged or whatever. There are quicktime events and in Until Dawn these are done by hitting one of three buttons (square, triangle, circle) within a very short amount of time. In The Quarry the quick time events are done by moving the joystick in the direction it tells you too. This is so much more manageable. So for me, this was a pro but I get why it would be a con for some. Until Dawn also had a feature where you had to hold the controller completely still while hiding. This feature was janky and was super sensitive to movement. The Quarry did away with this and introduced holding your breath while hiding. This feature requires you to hold down the X button and release it only when you think it is safe. Much easier. They also give you the option to adjust some of these functions to make it easier or harder.

While the story has its faults, overall it is fun and spooky! It’s modern day but it has an 80s vibe that is entertaining. A bit predictable at some points but I don’t think it made this story any less good.

The soundtrack was fire

Replayability. Even though I looked up all the other endings, I enjoyed the game enough to want to play through it again so I can get those endings for myself.

This isn’t something I realized could happen in my gameplay because of the choices I made but there is actually a third thing that can happen to your characters. They can live, die or this third secret thing that I won’t spoil but I thought that was a really cool feature!

Barely any jumpscares!

Movie mode! I don’t know if I will ever actually use this mode but I thought it was awesome they added it. Basically you pick at the beginning whether you want everyone to live or die and then you just sit back and literally just watch the game as a movie. There’s also the director’s chair feature where you take it a step further and pick out character traits and then see how the traits affect the character’s actions and ultimately the outcome of the game. From what I’ve heard the movie mode is about 4-6 hours long.

So I will wrap this up by saying that I thought this game was a strong successor to Until Dawn. It was similar enough that you will enjoy it if you love Until Dawn but it might not leave as much of an impact as Until Dawn does. Overall, I think I enjoyed Until Dawn more but I will say I loved the creepy summer camp setting more than the ski lodge in Until Dawn. I’m getting excited to play it again as I type all of this!

#the quarry #supermassive games #until dawn #video games #video game reviews #video game review #non Disney #my post

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rainbowsuitcase · 2 months

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*gasp* Age gap!

We keep watering things down. Simplifying them. Whether that's to fit into a character limit or express ourselves quicker or say our piece fast enough to not lose someone's attention. We keep simplifying and simplifying and simplifying until it loses all meaning.

Until people forget there ever was any meaning beyond the simplest, most surface level version possible.

We know. We understand why age gap relationships are bad. Well, not age gap, but relationships between grown adults and teenagers, to put it exactly. We understand. But we've watered it down. And I think that's a big reason why some people, mostly young people, actually don't understand.

A while back, I was watching a TV show where this kind of a couple appeared, a grown man and a barely legal girl. There was a big emphasis on the fact that everyone in the town knew about them but no one did anything and the relationship ended with the man killing the girl. And I caught myself thinking but wait, if they seemed so happy together, why was anyone supposed to notice? He wasn't abusing her or anything. Sure, she was younger but they were happy together. There was no reason for anyone to step in.

Then I had to remind myself that the age difference isn't really the reason it's bad. He's older, he's more mature and knows more, he could be using her inexperience against her.

The age gap isn't why it's wrong, not really, and yet we keep simplifying things and the age gap somehow ends up the main focus, the one thing we point out.

So, I'm just thinking, maybe we can't really be mad at young teens on the internet calling relationships, real or fictional, problematic for having an age gap even if the people in question are two consenting adults. They don't understand why the age gap itself isn't the actual problem because everyone is using it as a shorthand and no one ever bother to explain it.

#yes i am still thinking about the tiktok that called stevenat problematic #age g4p #idk why that's censored and i don't like it #shipping discourse #shipping

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harrison-abbott · 3 months

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Pick him up and take him Away

My son Archie told me,

“I want to be a real footballer when I grow up,” when he was about four. I said, “Good.” And we walked on down the street.

When he was seven he began to bug me for a pair of football boots because he needed a pair to play for the school team – of which he’d gotten in to. His bugging was really annoying. I didn’t know anything about football; and told him we could get a pair for him at Christmas: but he said that Christmas was five months away and he needed them now, else he would miss his chance. I agreed, on the deal that I didn’t have to get him anything come December.

The weekends that followed he would come back muddy every Saturday and Sunday around noon. He told me if his team won or lost. I said well done if it was victory, and nothing if it wasn’t. I didn’t care about this sport. Because it reminded me of my father. He attacked us (my mother, my elder brother, and me) if his big team lost the city derby; and it was all clad in alcohol and male violence and sickening chants and I just hated the whole thing, couldn’t stand it, didn’t understand why people liked it. And I didn’t want Archie to be part of all of that.

Soccer also made me think about Archie’s Dad, who I didn’t live with anymore. We had separated four years earlier and he only communicated with me in regards to Archie, and he never sent any money, and it was him who left me. That gave me extra incentive not to go and watch Archie play on the weekends, because I knew his father would be there. And in fact I enjoyed not having him in the house because Archie was always restless. He couldn’t stay in one room for longer than ten minutes unless he was asleep. And if he didn’t have a ball at his feet he would play with oranges or marbles, or if he was in the garden he would kick the stones about.

I didn’t think it would go anywhere with him. His sport. Perhaps because nothing had ever gone anywhere with me. I see that now. And I regret it. I was too selfish and bitter towards my own son. On another level: I knew that he didn’t really like me that much. I didn’t interest him. He’d see me in the house and he wouldn’t say Hi, or speak unless he needed something, and he’d long since stopped mentioning soccer since he knew I wasn’t intrigued in that. But I left out food for him. Made his lunchbox sandwiches and the evening dinners, alongside working a 50 hour per week minimum wage job in order to keep us in the tiny flat with just me and him in it. Some of my friends still drank on Saturdays. Nights, I mean: the girls would invite me out of Saturdays and I tried it a few times, but I was so wrecked the following day that I couldn’t really handle it anymore. And so my best pal became the television. A lot of it was crap, but the screen brought me language and other people. Some of the movies were pretty good and I just sat on the couch with the blankets over me and that was what I did with my free time.

Until five years had passed and that was what I’d been doing throughout that; the supermarket and the warm meals by the TV when it was dark, and I barely saw anything or Archie.

I hardly saw him at all around the house. For, he was always out playing football … and in his teens he was a tall lad, almost tall as a man, and fit, he had a great body.

Maybe I was naïve at the time. Well, I was naïve. That when he did speak to me, it was often short, but it wasn’t cold. I remembered being young and not showing much will to chat to my father, when I was Archie’s age; but when I was older I sort of got back into his life; and despite all of that thuggish stuff he did, he could be an okay man.

When Archie was fourteen I got a phonecall from somebody I’d never met before.

It was a soccer scout from a proper football team, as in, a professional one. He told me he wanted to sign my son, into their academy system. He spoke in a nice manner on the phone. And said that we could meet up if I liked? He would send the paperwork in the mail, as he needed a parental signature to complete the deal.

When I got the heavy envelopes in the mail I signed all of them.

When Archie was sixteen he told me in person that he’d been given an offer to go down to England to play with this famous side in their youth team. He had already accepted the offer. I didn’t really understand any of the jargon, and it had all happened so fast. Archie could legally leave school. The academy in England would pay him a salary, and fix him up with somewhere to stay. And so, within weeks, I was helping him pack the stuff out of his room. And then he was waiting on the street outside for his friend to come and pick him up and take him away.

I hugged him in a brittle trembly way and he seemed embarrassed that I was crying in front of his friend and I was humiliated that Archie wasn’t crying as well.

And then the van just took him away out of the estate and left me standing there.

Archie said he would come home for Christmas that winter. He didn’t.

When he was eighteen he was what you’d call famous, in that folks across the nation yelled his name.

When he was twenty, I wrote him a letter to the address he was now staying at in England (he had his own house where he stayed with his girlfriend). I told him I’d like to see him. Because it had been four years, literally that day with the van, since we’d last met. And that I hoped he wasn’t angry with me across his boyhood. Did he think I’d never believed in him? I wished that perhaps we could be friends.

Archibald is twenty five now. Last night he scored a huge important goal that I saw on the news. And when the images of him on the television came up, I switched the channel.

He never wrote a letter back to me. And I’ve still never seen him since that morning he left in the van. And I don’t want to be part of his success if he won’t share any of it with me directly.

#writeblr #creative writing #prose #writers on tumblr #stories #short fiction #tumblr writers #fiction #short story #spilled ink #spilled stories #fables

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physicsfox7 · 7 months

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Okay. Same rules as always apply: you can interact if you want to, or ignore this if you don't. As always, I know I'm a lot to handle.

I've had good mental health for over a week. Things were going great, I felt good, was sleeping, kind of eating (still struggling there, but usually 1+ meal a day, even if the + was an uncrustie), didn't have any intrusive thoughts. Then last night I could feel the spiral coming on, and for the dumbest trigger imaginable. For a totally irrational and juvenile and stupid reason. Which makes it even worse really.

It doesn't help that I may be getting sick, or I may already be sick. Not sure, and not sure where that might be going, but I know its not helping.

I mentioned recently that my friends are everything, my heart and soul. But probably 3 or 4 times a week I think to myself: "Wouldnt it be easier, safer, less hurtful if you just...didn't? Let your friends go, they were probably at least as happy when you weren't around. You can drift away from them, let the distance get wider, and you dont have to hurt anymore."

I dont mean friends like we talk once every few weeks or exchange letters or whatever. I mean the friends I can barely go a day without talking to them, the ones that I seek out to say hello to. If I leave, they wont notice for long, and I wont lay awake at night wondering if I said something wrong, if they havent said hi because they're mad at me, if this is all a colossal fuck up and they're screwing with me. Because it has happened. To me. Multiple times.

I guess I didn't realize just how much I let certain people in. Which is stupid, right? Because how can someone be so out of touch they didnt see the 6 foot layer of bullshit come down?

So, what if I didn't? What if I went back to just me and my partner, and my thoughts? How long before I crack in half? How long before I decide I cant handle it, I cant be that alone. I was able to do it once, when I was so much stronger. But I lay awake at night, after the first wave has passed, in a cold sweat. And my mind says you could stop the anxiety if you just get cold again.

I spent 10 years working. I know, I know. Everyone has had a job, has dedicated themselves to it. It was nearly all I had. In my family, you get up and you do your chores, then you go to work. When you get home, you make sure nobody else needs help with their stuff. If you're lucky, after exhausting yourself in manual labor for 12 or 14 hours a day, you can watch tv until your eyelids feel like iron. I cant tell you how many nights I fell asleep on the couch. The last time I went on "vacation", I had to help put a new roof on my parents house. When I was a teen and wed go visit family in NY, there were always chores. Mow the lawn, repaint the fence, redrywall your aunts house, put new decking down. Work was all I knew. Much to my surprise, people didnt do all of this all the time. They had downtime, they had reasonable hours, they had the ability to say no.

Thats another one. Saying no. Seems easy, right? I can type it to myself all day long. If I told my parents no about work, or side work, or any chore that fell into my lap because my sister said she didnt want to, I was punished. In a backwards and manipulative way. Suddenly none of my favorite foods were in the house, my room was never clean enough, I had to do all the dishes from dinner because it just didnt make sense to run the dishwasher.

So when I say I could just flip the switch and become cold again, my whole body goes into panic mode. My heart is racing right now because somewhere, someone is going to read this and know what is going on inside my head.

The only thing more terrifying to me than making an ass out of myself in front of my friends, more terrifying than them getting mad at me; is not having them. I honestly think it might kill me.

I let them in too far, and now what if they leave?

I guess I can't let them go after all. I hope that they don't want to be let go of.

This was only slightly more convoluted than usual. If you're insane enough to read this, I'm sorry to subject you to what is essentially word vomit. I need to get this out, or it will eat me alive. Never really understood what people meant by that until now, that holding certain things in can kill you, can devour you.

I'm afraid of getting hurt, and I'm too afraid to be alone. I just need to not push people away, even though that is my immediate response. Just take a step back for a day or two, its no big deal. Then suddenly four months have gone by, and they're either tired of trying or didn't care enough to in the first place. Hard to say which of those is worse.

Stuck between a rock and a hard place, except everything is lined with razor blades to make it more interesting.

#mental health #word vomit #the thing that keeps me up at night #friendship #heartbreak #bad brain #hash tags are mind of like word clouds #part of me wishes i would just shut up #part of me hopes this helps me #anxiety #hash tags are kind of like word clouds #some day ill delete this stupid journal because my mental health wont be such an asshole #the best is yet to come #dont know how to say any of this to my friends

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