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coralinnii · 4 months

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Can I ask for Vil, Took or Malleus (any of them, or multiple depending on how cool you are with it) when they find their s/O gives them cute handmade gifts? Baked treats, books, paintings and such. I completely understand if you can't get to this, but if you decide to take this up, It'll be really really cool! Thanks and have a great day!

‎‧₊˚✧Made with Love✧˚₊‧

↳ Reader S/O who made him handmade gifts

feat: Vil ❋ Rook ❋ Malleus genre: fluff note: no pronouns used with the reader, established relationships, nicknames were used for readers (spudling, mon tresor, dear, child of man), probably bad grammar and usage of French because of Rook,

To anyone who were wondering for my sudden MIA status…I got sick, like hella sick. I’m not the greatest at taking care of myself and apparently my body decided to teach me a lesson for that by leaving me down for the count for 2 weeks then giving me migraines if I spend even 20 minutes in front of a screen for another week. To be fair, I could have recovered quicker if I actually…rested and took care of myself but hey, lessons were learned.

I literally started this a month ago but now I need to relearn the characters because my brain can’t remember anything, so I’m sorry if it isn’t the greatest T_T

2.7K Followers Writing Event 2023

To say he was suspicious was an understatement. Vil was a man of routine and he could tell when something was amiss as the days went by. Little differences were of no cause of concern, but when his little spudling is just acting too skittish, the blond just couldn’t let it go.

At first, Vil was content with scolding you for the little bad habits you started. He caught you too many times hunching your neck and back, and the eyebags forming under your eyes were too concerning to him to ignore.

He had to physically hold in his gasp however, when you refused to come over to his dorm for a skincare date. He tried to be understanding when you claimed you had too much homework to come over, but he could do without Rook having to point out that he was sulking.

Yes Rook, Vil is very aware he could get early wrinkles.

Frustration turned to concern as Vil was quick to pick up that you were hiding something from him. Occasionally, he could see you quickly hiding something from his sight before smiling.

Insecurity soon struck him as alarming thoughts swirled about his mind. Was he the problem? Or is there a problem but he was too undependable to you to confide in?

Not one to beat around the bush, he approached you.

You were surprised that your lover requested to see you so suddenly. But, you thought the handsome blond sounded uncharacteristically solemn so you agreed, which led to you sitting in the lounge of your dorm/home.

Maybe you misread the tone of his voice, because the man before you certainly didn’t seem solemn. Sitting next to you on the sofa, Vil watched you silently with his arms crossed and a leg over another.

“So, Vil…how was your da-”

“I know you’re hiding something from me, spudling.”

From your flinching and awkward avoidance to meet his eyes, Vil’s suspicions were correct. Upon closer inspection, Vil spotted small cuts littered about the skin of your fingers. His lilac eyes softened somewhat, but he kept his voice stern.

“I admire you for working so hard for yourself,” Vil made it clear to you as his eyes gazed towards the small cuts on your fingers, “But, I hope I’m not someone so incompetent that you can’t rely on me, especially when you’re needlessly hurting yourself so.”

In a smooth motion, Vil raised his manicured hand towards your face, gently grazing your cheek to keep your attention to him. “So spudling, no more secrets…what has gotten you so busy and reckless?”

The gig is up, you supposed. Sighing, you asked for your blond beloved to wait as you quickly rushed to your room. Upon your return, there was something in your hands to which you nervously handed over to your upperclassman.

It was a soft ribbon with a charm attached to its end. The deep purple ribbon was embroidered with what seemed to be golden leaves attached to vines twisting and curling across the length of the ribbon. The charm was of a crown, a cheap trinket that was clearly inspired by the Fairest Queen.

“I know how hard you’ve been working for classes so I made you a ribbon bookmark, something you could use while you study or something.” you explained, a little embarrassed. “But I haven’t been getting the pattern right, so I couldn’t give you until I got it perfect.”

Vil has been gifting you so much, from customized skincare products of his creation to matching outfits that enhanced your beautiful form. But it’s not just fancy clothes and luxurious products. Vil worries for you, takes care of you, and helps you to see the potential in yourself and to strive for it.

He gave you so much, so you wanted to give him something in return. Something thoughtful, something that shows how much you cherish Vil. More than for his looks, more than for his fame.

“This didn’t turn out as well as I wanted, but I’m working hard so I can make a new one and get the embroidery just right,” you assured him as you reached for the bookmark. “So, please be patient with me.”

But, Vil kept your gift out of your reach. He examined your handiwork with such focus, taking note of the effort in every stitch. It was by no means the level of professional, but he could see how you thought about him. From the color of the ribbon and thread to resemble his honorable dorm, to the consideration of his dedication to his studies rather than his looks. Your gift told him that you saw not Vil Schoenheit the actor, but Vil your hardworking boyfriend.

Seeing your nervous expression, Vil chuckled as he finally spoke, the cute bookmark firmly in his grasp. “If this is for me, I believe It’s for me to decide if it’s acceptable.”

“I-I guess?”

“Good, because I’ve decided to keep this.” Closing the gap, Vil placed a kiss upon your face, teasingly close to your lips. With a confident smile, Vil took pleasure with your burning cheeks.

“Thank you for the gift, my cute spudling.”

If it wasn’t already clear to everyone, Rook’s primary love language are words of affirmation. You could sneeze and suddenly he has written a sonnet about how beautiful the cringling of your face was.

I’m only slightly exaggerating.

Rook is by no means afraid to show his admiration for anyone, least of all his beloved. All of his words and actions are all done without an expectation of getting something in return.

But lately, you have become a bit of an enigma to him. You would spend hours upon hours with him, smiling and capturing pictures of the two of you. Other times, you would swiftly leave back to your dorm, excusing it as needing to study but you would vehemently decline his offer to help you.

Don’t get him wrong, watching your concentrated gaze is gorgeous, the way your heartbeat steadies and letting out soft but longer exhales as though you’re making decisions secretly in your mind. Rook couldn’t help but wonder, what is it that captures your attention that has you gazing off away from him?

“Rook, can I visit you today?”

Oh my, it has been a while since you last requested such a thing. Partially because you both knew his Housewarden would have a fit if he wasn’t aware. But eventually, Vil gave you special permission, mostly because Rook would have found a way to either sneak you into his room or he might sneak in the middle of night to see you. Vil knew Rook would never have gotten caught but he’d rather let you stay than have the migraine of a vice-housewarden breaking curfew and ruining his beauty sleep.

“Oui, mon trésor. I would request approval from my Housewarden immediately.” Rook could never deny you of anything, especially if he means you could have more time to admire you in the comfort of his room.

When night fell and the two of you were alone, sitting on the hunter’s bed. You were nervously wringing the handles of the bag in your hand. Doubts filled your head as you wondered if the gift was even slightly capable of living up to your boyfriend’s expectations, regardless of how silly that sounded.

You knew that whatever you would give him, Rook would love and appreciate it with full sincerity. But, that doesn’t mean you weren’t nervous. The gift should be considerate, you thought. Something that shows the love you had for the eccentric blond and his odd… let’s say interests.

You looked to said odd man, who’s piercing green eyes caught your gaze. Rook noticed your nervousness and the mysterious bag but said nothing. Instead, he kindly waited for you as you calmed yourself, soothing you with gentle touches to your knee. The huntsman can be a lot to some, but he’s also patient and so supportive.

Finding your strength, you presented your gift to Rook. Curiously, Rook took what seemed to be a journal from your hands. It was only when he opened the book to see its content was he surprised.

Him. He saw him in a multitude of photographs that decorated the pages of the journal, lined with cute frames and drawings. Some photos were of moments he remembered, such as days where you visited him during his club, cute dates around the town, or simply just moments of serenity between the two of you.

Rook felt his cheeks flush as his eyes caught the little captions written near the photographs, dates and words written in your handwriting.

“My handsome mad scientist” “His dashing profile is so cool” “His warm arms around me ♡”

“I realized the last time I came to your room that you only had photos of other people” you had glimpses of the wall of photos that consist of people he admired the most, you included. “So, I wanted to give you a photo album of what I find beautiful…you.”

Your boyfriend scared you as the young blond suddenly stood up from the bed, eyes sparkling with excitement as he scanned through the pages filled with memories. “Mon tresor, this is absolutely exquisite! To think my beloved has been watching me with such an unwavering, loving gaze fuels a pleasurable delight within me. Oh, très bien!”

But Rook worriedly commented on something notable. “But, there are still pages left unfilled. Were our moments too few and rare to fill the album?”

“It wasn’t that.” you rubbed your hands as you felt the nerves return. “I was hoping that we could fill the last few pages together…like a couple.”

It was then the hunter kneeled before you, his hands reaching out to grasp yours as he looked into your eyes with a special loving gaze only shown to you. You couldn’t tell if you were captured in his devoted gaze or if it was Rook that felt compelled to hold you, to comply with each and every one of your wishes.

“You speak as though I would dare to deny my precious beloved. I’d be honoured to make more memories with you, now and far however long you will have me.��

With constant surveillance from his wards *coughSebekcough*, Malleus’ moments with you were rare but still meaningful. Some nights, Malleus would wander near your dorm, especially when he noticed the lights of your room, signifying you’re there and awake. And like always, you would open your doors for him with a sweet laugh and inviting smile.

But lately, Malleus has seen that your bedroom lights would be dimmed, and that you would take notice of his presence slower than usual. Once or twice would be of no concern to him. But, as it slowly became a habit, he began to worry.

He spoke of his concerns with Lilia, perhaps in the older fae’s experience he came across a similar predicament amongst humans.

Only for the veteran fae to be of no help, instead chuckling in amusement before giving his young dragon a cryptic comment “You will understand soon enough. My, how you are in for a treat~”

Malleus chose not to question further, nor did he question the odd coincidence that you asked him to visit you that very night.

“I don’t suppose there is a hidden agenda to your invitation, dear?” As Malleus made himself comfortable in your guest room, he noticed some changes since his last visit.

Firstly, the furniture were arranged to be more spaced out, although the TV was still quite close. Then, there were almost an absurdly large amount of pillows and blankets, to the point that some have started to pooled onto the floor.

“Hmm, you sound as though I’m being suspicious” you laughed good-naturedly, “But I do have a surprise for tonight.”

Coming from the kitchen, you pulled out a stacked fairly large, cold container. With Malleus’ keen senses, he could pick up a very subtle sweet scent mixed with a chilly sensation, and a familiar delight came to mind.

“Ice-cream?”

You nodded. “Made by yours truly. I asked Lilia if there was a particular flavour you like, but he said you weren’t really picky.”

Unceremoniously, you sat down next to the tall fae before handing him an ice-cream container. “I was trying out different recipes and ideas all week, tweaking it along the way.”

The results of your work appear to be a multitude of flavours with varying degrees of sweetness. From classics such as chocolate and vanilla to more subtle sweet flavours such as coffee and pistachio. Some were swirls of combinations with fruits or nuts, and some were flavours unique to his hometown, which he imagined were hard to procure.

“I may not be able to shower you in riches, or protect you like your knights…” you gave an embarrassed smile and gaze at your silent companion. “But I could at least make you something sweet, just so you could smile even a little.”

Behind your nonchalant smile, you do feel anxiety swirling as you worry your efforts pale in comparison to the luxuries your powerful boyfriend owns. Malleus is a fae of the highest standing and thus, his actions have more impact than the average man or fae.

But…he was your amazing boyfriend nonetheless, who smiled softly back at you.

“Thank you, child of man. Knowing the effort my beloved has done for me alone, I shall cherish this feeling for centuries to come.”

Your cheeks burned slightly over the sincerity, so you quickly diverted the conversation. “W-Well, just giving someone ice-cream would be too boring, so I thought we could spend the night watching bad rom-com movies while we eat. Call it a human custom of sorts.”

“Is it imperative that the movies must be bad?”

You shrugged “Not really, but it usually is.”

Setting the movie up, you returned to the makeshift nest of comfy blankets and pillows with Malleus sitting by you. The confused fae watched as you handed him a tub of handmade ice-cream and a spoon before picking a container for yourself, a strange feeling of intimacy unfamiliar to him…but not an unpleasant one.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #disney twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twst imagines #twst scenarios #twisted wonderland imagines #vil schoenheit #vil shoenheit x reader #vil x reader #rook hunt #twst rook x reader #rook x reader #rook hunt x reader #malleus draconia #malleus x reader

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rongzhi · 6 months

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Hi! Love your TikTok translations, they help me learn so much. Sorry if you've answered this before already, but as a language student myself, I was just curious about how you got so good at Chinese - is it a native language for you, or what's your background in using/studying it? Thank you!

I think I answered this a long time ago (like 2021 maybe) so I will just tell it again. It's kind of a longwinded boring post that's very self-centric (😬) and also probably not going to have any helpful advice to the average language learner, so I'm going to put it under a read more!

Background

My family is Chinese so it's my heritage language. I did learn it before English as a baby but then forgot a lot of it. My parents speak Chinese at home but I always replied in English growing up. Part of this is because I have a twin sibling and because we spoke English at school, we also started speaking English to each other at home.

We went to Chinese school on Sundays growing up (this is like a community/cultural school; it included other courses like math, Chinese dance, art, pre-SATs (lol), etc, depending on who in the community was available to teach), but I didn't really pay attention so my Chinese was pretty shit for a long time—like broken conversational level shitty, although I have always had a strong comprehension ability. My dad's side is from Sichuan so I grew up understanding a bit of Sichuanese.

The beginning of my "studying"

I don't actually have much of a background studying Chinese in a formal setting. I took Chinese 101-103 in college as part of a language requirement (specifically chose to start with 101 so I could relearn basics, even though my teachers kept offering to place me in higher levels). I really credit my Chinese 101 prof who was also the college's calligraphy teacher for making us focus on brush stroke order and recognising characters and understanding semantic components, which is something other profs did not emphasise (they were more focused on building conversational skills).

Anyway, that was only my freshman year of college because I ended up changing majors and not having a language requirement anymore (boo). I continued studying a bit of Chinese in the intervening years, but I am not a very disciplined person when it comes to self-study, so much of it was just translating song lyrics for my own amusement. During this time, I also started watching some cdramas, but mostly just Chinese web shows, which maybe helped? (I don't think I was watching enough for it to really make a difference).

Fast forward a couple years to 2020 and I started watching more cdramas during lockdowns, including watching 成化十四年 (The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty), which I was super invested in for about two years (this used to be a fandom blog lol). Basically, hyperfixation led me to rapidly improve my Chinese; I started translating a few behind-the-scenes videos for fandom friends. In order to keep up with Chinese fans and gain access to more material about the show, I started venturing onto Chinese sites such as weibo, bilibili, and eventually, douyin, which I downloaded around October of 2020 (so this was 6 months into my increased interest into Chinese things). At first, I translated a couple of douyins to share with fandom friends as I had done with behind-the-scenes materials, but for whatever reason I felt like some of the videos I wanted to translate would just be annoying to spam into the chat... I couldn't figure out a way to connect them to the blorbos, but I still wanted to translate them, so I started posting them here on tumblr. That's how my douyin translations started out. This was the height of covid-19 related sinophobia, too, so at some point I started realising how important it was to continue translating douyins, and that motivated me to continue even beyond it just being a fun thing to do. On that topic, it was through this blog that I realised how poorly understood China and Chinese people are, specifically on this site. I feel like that has changed a lot, or maybe that's just a comment on insular online spaces, but I have to think not; since I started translating douyins, I've seen a noticeable decrease in sinophobic comments and messages (not that I don't still get them, but it's lessened), and I think that's also thanks in great part to other blogs on here that were posting/have started to post more content from China to help increase exposure to tumblr users.

Improving

In any case, in the beginning, I did a lot of translations mostly by ear rather than reading captions because my Chinese reading wasn't that good.

It's kind of slowly improved with time and repetitive reading, and over the last three years now, I've also gone through periods of taking notes and actively seeking out some vocab lists or grammar explanations... but it usually comes in the process of trying to translate something. My motivations in "studying" (it's more like "figuring out") Chinese is largely based on the simple desire to know what people are talking about... what they're joking about... what they're ranting about and roasting. Related: I also started reading fanfics in Chinese about a year ago. Some fics have been easier to read than others, but some of the best ones I've read were also the ones that challenged me the most, and which I had to take a lot of notes on while reading. I'll admit! There have been times where I just took a fic and dumped that sucker in google translate and have it read the Chinese to me, so I could just listen to it like a podfic. But even so, I would take notes, because I think my improvements in Chinese are heavily connected to my Chinese literacy.

Reading douyin comments and forums on douban or comment sections on bilibili has been one of the main ways that I've picked up on common phrases and characters. I often write things down but I do so more as a muscle memory practice, because I have never really been the sort of person who reads back notes (this was also how I studied in school, iirc). Branching out and translating things that are written in formal or non-colloquial styles is also a way I challenge myself from time to time, and I do like to look up the etymology of Chinese characters from time to time because it helps me pick up patterns of semantics and phonetic hints when I'm reading (this makes it easier to guess what a character might mean or sound like, even if you've never seen it before). Overall, translation has been the great learning tool for me. I think maybe it comes down to learning styles? I have always learned better from trying to teach others, and I feel like translation works a similar muscle in the mind; translation is about figuring out ways to efficiently communicate a message, and in order to do so, you must be able to grasp the essence of what it is you're relaying.

All this said... And to try and return to your original ask after all my usual Wawa rambling... I actually don't think my Chinese is that good, lol. In fact, there's probably people who follow this blog who are studying Chinese in a more conventional and methodical manner whose Chinese is objectively much better than mine 🤷🏻‍♂️ I mean, if you crunch the numbers, I have really only be self-"studying" for three years. Three years of what is really just vibe-based learning. There's a lot of vocab I still don't know (I mean my English vocab is pretty limited too, sooo.... 😭), a lot of areas that I can still improve on, and am improving on, and try to improve on... when the mood strikes. Again, I am not a very disciplined self-study type.

Maybe this will give any other Chinese diaspora hope, though. I feel like it's never too late for us to start learning. There is probably a seed or language foundation within you already which will make it easier for you to start, and then after that, I think it sort of comes down to finding what interests you and will keep you motivated.

Most of the stuff I talk about on here when it comes to culture or folk art or what have you, I did not know even five years ago! I learned about it because I was interested to find out more. (That's another reason I have to laugh when I get some of the asks I do in my inbox... The stuff I don't answer is dumbfounding at times. You translate a couple of funny videos and people think you're some kind of Tripadvisor cultural ambassador guy! I swear...)

The "study" resources I use regularly are the following:

Pleco

Zh-En browser extension

Yellowbridge (usually to check brush stroke order, since I have Pleco)

Baidu etymology pages / Chinese etymology dictionaries such as hanziyuan

#text #answered ask #about me

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redeyerhaenyra · 7 months

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Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

Summary: It's been a month since you've broken up with the moon knight system, and you start to notice someone.. watching you

Warnings: Stalking, breaking and entering, kidnapping, yandere themes, angst, no beta we die like harrow

Notes: So after all the positive responses on this post I just had to create in headcanon form- for those who want to listen to the song that inspired this fic, here :)

Breaking up with the moon boys was the hardest thing you'd ever had to do, but it did need to be done.

With the near constant dissappearing to do Khonshu's bidding, sometimes for weeks on end, with only a note or a text to tell you where they were and then radio silence, it was just too much for you. Your heart couldn't take waiting for them, worrying that they would never return, even if Khonshu was protecting them.

And so, you had begun the process of moving out during the time they were away on a mission.

Marc had come home to find your clothes, trinkets, anything that would indicate your presence gone.

You were there though.

Normally you'd be so happy to see him again, running up to him and kissing him with all your might.

Today, instead, you sadly smiled at him.

"Baby, what's up?" Marc had asked, gently holding your forearms after you had rejected his hug. He could tell you were upset.

"Baby?" "I'm leaving, Marc. I'm sorry."

He had stared at you, dumbfounded. You swallowed down your tears- "I can't do this anymore." You didn't have to explain, you knew what he meant.

You waited anxiously for his response, instead spying his eyes roll back into his head, and now you were faced with Steven and oh god, his eyes, they were already tearing up.

Coward, you thought of Marc, which was admittedly a little harsh but breaking up with them would be so much harder facing Steven's sorrowful gaze.

Steven looked terrified, moving to cup your face in his hands and you had to physically move back to stop him.

"D-darlin', please, what'cha talkin' about?" "I'm sorry steven-" "Please don't leave us love, please, 'can't do it without you please-"

"Stop it." You'd said firmly, Steven sobbed. You couldn't help but take his hands in yours, ever wanting to comfort him.

"Steven.. I will always love you," "Then why'd you have to leave!?" "Because I can't do this anymore!!"

You were both crying now. "I-i can't take waiting for you to never come home to me anymore, Steven, I can't do it."

Steven's gazed was fixed on the ground, his tears dripping onto the floorboards. You gave his hands one final squeeze, before pulling away.

"I will always love you, all of you, but my heart cannot take it anymore.. goodbye."

The strength with which it took to pull yourself away from Steven should have won you a medal, and you couldn't stop yourself from crying even more as you left him.

That was a month ago- with the help of a few friends you'd found yourself a decently priced flat for rent on the other side of London. Far enough away, you hoped.

It wasn't far enough. Jake had found out where you lived within days of you leaving. He knew it was wrong, but the part of him that didn't care grew and grew into something monstrous. At this stage the other boys weren't saying anything to disapprove of his actions, and so he continued to watch you.

He'd drive circles around your block to relearn your new routine, and you hadn't yet realised it was his cab you kept seeing.

The one person you actually hadn't said goodbye to was Jake- he hadn't fronted when you'd left, and you would always wonder if he was there, just choosing not to show himself. But if he wasn't? He'd have woken up to the discovery that you weren't together anymore and you'd always feel guilty for that.

But... you tried to move on with your life, as best you could.

It felt wrong to start dating again, but your friends had urged you to, even if it was a one night thing.

The guy you'd matched with on bumble was nice enough, smart, good looking- he wasn't them though. While he was polite and friendly during your dinner date, he wasn't your boys.

He'd walked you home, and you'd set up a second date. All things considered it was successful- but you just felt.. wrong about the whole thing. Like you were cheating, even though you weren't.

You'd guessed it wasn't all that successful, as he'd ghosted you a day or so after your date.

It was a week or so later that you'd seen the news report of his body having turned up in the Thames. God how awful! He hadn't ghosted you- the poor guy had been murdered.

Jake had really earned a bollocking off of Steven and Marc for that one, but he knew they were relieved you wouldn't be seeing that man again.

You'd decided to halt the dating game after that, for a while at least.

You were lonely though, there was no denying. Having no one to cuddle up to in bed sucked.

And so.. the logical conclusion was a pet, no?

Eventually, you found a young, ginger tomcat named "Franklin" in a nearby animal shelter and you just fell in love, you brought him home the same day.

He was great, not exactly filling the whole in your heart left by three men but you certainly adored him, and who wouldn't say no to curling up in bed with a cat every evening? Certainly not you.

One day, you'd left work for your lunch break only for the horrifying realisation to hit you: You'd forgot to feed Franklin that morning! You rushed home as fast you could- only to discover that, you had fed him, even when you were sure you hadn't.

And yet there he was, munching on his bowl of kibble.

Something squeaked under your foot- you looked down- oh, it was one of Franklin's toys. You threw it across the room for him to play with but- hang on... you didn't remember buying him that toy.

You shook your head free of thoughts that you were going mad- everyone forgets things, even buying specific cat toys. Or maybe one of your friends had left it when they'd been over- it didn't matter.

You moved to leave your flat and return to work- only to find your door lock jammed.

The locksmith you'd hurriedly called in was able to fix it in a jiffy, though advised that the jam was probably due to a break in, and that you should change your locks.

A chill ran down your spine- you checked and double checked, nothing of value had been stolen, but someone had been in your home! Is that who had fed Franklin? Who'd left him the toy?

You changed the locks, and threw out the strange toy.

Jake couldn't stop watching you. It was becoming more and more of a problem.

He was ignoring Khonshu and actively pushing Marc and Steven out when they tried to front, knowing they'd put and end to his antics.

But none of them could deny that they wanted, needed you back. Jake just considered himself the only one with the balls to get you back.

There was no warmth in his life now that you weren't there. Steven's flat no longer felt like home without your t-shirts in the laundry, or the brand of coffee you love but Marc hates in the cupboards.

He knew he ought to leave his little girl alone, but the fact remained you were his little girl. Jake would stop at nothing to have his bebita back.

Now it was two months since you'd broken up with the system. Life wasn't perfect, but you were chugging along.

You turned the lights on in your flat, yawning. Work was tough today, but it was Friday, and you had some left over popcorn in the cupboard. Film night~!

"Franklin? Baby? Mummy's home~!" You cooed, knowing that he always came bounding up and purring whenever you came home.

But.. he didn't. Your flat was silent. No distant meowing or the jingle of the bell on his collar. Nothing.

"Franklin?" You stepped further into your flat, worry seeping through you.

"Franklin..?!" Your tone became more and more erratic with the realisation that Franklin wasn't home- and then someone had covered your eyes with their hand, and pressed a strange scented cloth to your mouth. You kicked and screamed and struggled but it was no use- the chloroform had knocked you out in seconds.

Jake held you tenderly to his chest as you faded into unconsciousness. Steven had earlier expressed his distaste at this plan, but neither him or Marc said anything now, so close to having you again.

You woke the next day, nauseous and tired. The distant meowing you heard gave you comfort- it had all been a bad dream.

But when you opened your eyes, you were met with the horrifying scene of Steven's flat, not your own. So familiar, in any other situation you would have been glad to be here.

You shifted to sit up, eyes working their way down to notice your ankle tied to the bed with the restraint normally reserved for Steven.

You choked back a sob- a hum ripping your gaze to the other end of the room.

There lay Franklin, enjoying some pets from the man who's lap he laid on.

Jake Lockley stared back at you, you could tell it was him, you could always tell between them.

"Buenos dias, hermosa." His voice was rich like coffee, normally so comforting but now? It sent a shudder down your spine.

"You and I have some things to discuss, sí?"

#jake lockley moonknight #jake lockely x reader #jake lockley #jake lockely x you #jake lockely imagine #jake lockley angst #jake lockley headcanon #moon knight x reader #moon knight #moon knight angst

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shima-draws · 2 months

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I've been teasing her for months!! But at long last her ref is complete 🌷

I actually DON'T have a 5 page essay on her backstory this time (like I did for Ilari LMAO) but I do have some info about her if anybody is curious!

Name: Ione

Age: 25

Hair color: Silver

Eye color: Orangish-yellow

Element: Light

Grabbing info from the few posts I've talked about her already, Ione was originally a very famous singer, pretty much an idol within the world of ATS. She'd hold huge concerts that were always sold out and people from around the world would flock to see her perform. Eventually tho all of the attention started to attract the wrong kinds of people, and sooner or later Ione was "scouted" by a very rich man who wanted her all to himself. She was manipulated and blackmailed into signing a contract with him that would essentially end her touring and make it so that she would become a private singer for him. He basically chained her with this contract and so she disappeared from the public eye.

Ione soon discovered that other people with similar talents had also been gathered and trapped by this man's contracts. Among them was a prodigy violin player who she grew very close with. The two of them struggled under the demands of this man, and eventually violin boy started to get physically abused by him 😭 Things escalated to the point where Ione decided she wanted OUT and was determined to do anything to escape. This led to a very...traumatic event that caused her to go mute by choice.

When Ione finally makes her escape, thankfully she's changed so much that people don't recognize her in public (mostly her hair! It used to be short and didn't cover one of her eyes before). Shortly after she runs into Nahu and his group, and is unceremoniously recruited to join them lol (Nahu can be VERY persuasive). Ione communicates with them through sign language, which luckily a couple of them are fluent in--Ezio and Sage to be specific. They then teach the others in the group sign language too. It takes Nahu a bit to get the hang of it bc he has like, no attention span whatsoever, but being a dragon elemental helps since his senses are super attuned all the time, so he can generally tell what Ione is feeling and what she's trying to convey when she talks to him :")

Over time Ione grows closer with them, and like everybody else is hit with the Found Family, and realizes that yeah. She'd do absolutely ANYTHING for this group of crazy weirdos. She starts to fall in love with Nahu (bc who WOULDN'T), and slowly gains the courage to use her voice again. This leads to secret meetings with Sage, who helps her relearn how to use her vocal cords.

Eventually her past catches up with her, of course, but the group all bands together to set her free from it. She has to face off against violin boy, who thought she'd abandoned him and got Messed Up Mentally as a result, so THAT'S a thing she's gotta deal with. But she's able to reach him by singing for the first time in over five years, and everyone absolutely loses their shit at how beautiful her voice is and they all cry and it’s very emotional!!

Even after regaining her voice she still prefers to stay quiet most of the time, as that is what she's comfortable with, but she's totally okay with speaking when she needs to. Also I need to mention this but bc she used to be like. An idol. Obviously her routines consisted of both song and dance so she's a pretty good dancer. Out of everyone in the group, Ione is the ONLY person Ezio will dance with (and he is a very VERY good dancer himself, but will only dance with someone who can keep up with him, which Ione can). Everyone is very jealous of this, ESPECIALLY Nahu lol bc he wants to dance with Ezio too 😂

Ione's a light elemental! I haven't given a LOT of thought into her powers yet but I do know that her singing makes her stronger and also gives her powers a boost, which in turn helps the rest of the group. She also can ride on these light waves--I will have to draw them sometime bc I can't really explain them in words, it'd be better to show them visually lol

And that's her!! My flower light mute girl <33333

#Original character #Character art #Character design #Fantasy #Flowers #Character reference #OC art #Art #Digital art #Shima arts #Shima's OCs #Among the Stars #ATS #Ione #IDK HOW ELSE TO TAG THIS ONE LOL #shima-draws

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fereldanwench · 4 months

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I didn't want to completely sit out a year-in-review, but for reasons I'll explain at the end of this post and under a cut, doing the traditional pick-one-pic-from-each-month approach just wasn't going to work for me. So instead, here are 20 of my favorite shots (in no particular order) of Valerie from 2023!

(I'll share solo Goro shots and shippy/story shots in two other posts before the year ends.)

Some thoughts about this year (cw for anxiety and depression mentions):

So yeah. I actually hadn't planned on joining in on the virtual photography year-in-review fun in part because... Well, frankly, I wasn't sure if it would actually be fun for me.

Although I do have pictures for every month, the first third, maybe even half, of the year was a struggle on almost every conceivable level. A lot of it was shit that carried over from the end of 2022, which was also an incredibly difficult year for me. I don't really want to delve too deeply into why--Some of it was personal, some of it was professional, some of it was fandom, and if you know, you know.

The main obstacle I had here is that looking at a lot of the shots I took from about January to May (give or take a few weeks on either end) honestly reminded me of Bad Times™️. I've worked really hard to pull myself out of that depression/anxiety cycle and return to a healthier approach to fandom and online socialization in general, but I just didn't want to spend a lot of time in that mental space. There are a few shots from those months that made it to my favorites, and I hope one day I can look back on that stuff and just feel the good from it again. Alas, that day is still not here.

But I am happy to report that the other reason I wanted to approach the review differently is a lot more positive! It's also two-fold: 1) I spent the earlier part of this year exploring more of a technical side of virtual photography and 2) I was really prolific the last third or so of this year so trying to narrow faves from about August until now was just not possible.

One of the few good things about the end of 2022 was being able to upgrade my graphics card, which meant I then had a rig that could support ray-tracing and hot sampling. As a result, I started putting a lot more focus on lighting and getting acquainted with new tools. I also was trying to work with the new AMM posing system, which is very convenient in some ways (100s of poses without reloading the game!) and a complete pain in the ass in others (can't move characters without their poses breaking!). Custom photomode poses + Nibbles Replacer has been the game changer I've been waiting for.

Or to put it more succinctly, December 2022 through about April 2023 felt like a relearning/return to basics kind of creative period, which is essential, but also means I just don't really like a lot of what I did, lmao.

Then, shockingly (I'm not shocked at all), starting treatment for my anxiety and depression in the second half of this year suddenly made creating a lot easier and fun again! Crazy how that works.

Even bumping this little review up to 20 shots instead of 12, there are still pictures from the past few months that I had to cut as favorites. There was just no way I could condense the amount of fave shots I took from August to now in just 5 options.

I also owe quite a bit of this revival to modders for asking me if I wanted to take shots for them--Exploring more of a fashion photography approach to my shots I think did a lot to build on what I had learned earlier in the year and encouraged me to try something new. I don't want to tag anyone in this long-ass glorified diary entry, but if you invited me to take mod shots for you, just know that it really meant a lot. ♡

And that's where my head has been with a yearly review! Is filling out a little template with 12 pictures this serious? No, it definitely is not, lmao. But hey, overthinking shit is still something I'm working on. ✌️

#cyberpunk 2077 #cp2077edit #cp2077 screenshots #oc: valerie v powell #g: cyberpunk 2077 #mine: edits

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somethingusefulfromflorida · 11 months

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They're here!

The geometry workbook is by a different author, and the pre-calc workbook has a different co-author, but all the rest are matching sets.

My plan is to go back to school next year to get a second bachelor's degree in astrophysics, a dream of mine that I abandoned in my freshman year because I was lazy and depressed and burned out. I eventually graduated with a BA in English, which is by far the greatest regret of my life. After 4½ years of doing nothing but complain about it and wallow in what could have been, I decided last month to get my ass in gear and commit to the field I originally intended back in 2014.

It's been 9 years since I graduated high school, and I've forgotten pretty much everything beyond simple geometry and a vague awareness of trigonometric functions (I've retained no calculus whatsoever). If I'm going to pursue astrophysics, I'm not only going to need to relearn all this math, I'm going to need to master it. I can't just eke by with a passing C, I need to know every subject backwards and forwards while blindfolded. I already have the pre-req credits to get into the advanced math and physics classes for the major, I just need to refresh myself. I was able to pass trig and AP calc and physics back when I was a punkass teenager, I'm sure I can do it again now that I actually give a shit.

I procrastinated all throughout May because I didn't know if I had it in me to master seven courses in one year, but the workbooks all arrived this morning and now I'm feeling a lot better about my chances. Flipping through algebra 1, I've encountered nothing but softball questions like "which is bigger, -5 or -2?" and "find coordinate (1,3) on this graph." I have no doubt in my mind that this is going to be an absolute cakewalk. Like riding a bike, it'll all come back to me as I work my way through it. I can knock out algebra 1 in a few days, two weeks tops, but I'm less confident in my latent geometry skills, so the cakewalk will serve mostly to temper myself for the challenges ahead. If I jumped right into the hard parts, I'd get overwhelmed and give up like I my first time around, so I need to start small.

I'll be deriving and integrating in no time!

#math #my plan #algebra #geometry #trigonometry #calculus #trig #precalc #calc #high school #college #university #wish me luck

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fujii-draws · 5 months

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Hello hi it’s asimplearchivist again (I mixed up my main when I created my account just fyi) and I am having more thoughts about Dusknoir

Do you think that when he first came to the past from the future that he had a hard time measuring his strength? Having to rely on his strength and abilities to protect himself and to do Dialga’s bidding would mean he wouldn’t have ever had any reason to practice being gentle, right?

So what if the first few months of having to play the part of the gentleman and kindly explorer, shaking hands and interacting with others (picking them up when saving them, etc), he realizes how brusquely he touches them? Enough times if someone saying his grip is a little tight or he jostled them too much and such makes him realize he can’t just go full throttle because he’s a fully evolved and experienced and powerful Pokémon, these civilians don’t know what it means to survive in a wasteland where virtually everything is out to get you

…so, to conclude, how much gentleness does he learn by dealing with the hero and partner? I’m thinking of your riding on the shoulder and him carrying them around examples specifically but does he ever catch himself being harsh and they don’t even realize why (“haha, you’re crushing me! you don’t have to hold me so tight, you know, it won’t hurt me if I fall just from here!”) and he stops in dawning horror realizing that one day he’s going to have to hurt them in the end?

then he has to learn to be gentle all over again when he and the others return from the future—even more gentle and slow and careful this time—because now they’re afraid of him, knowing just how strong he is and exactly what he’s capable of doing to them?

now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go sob in the corner, goodbye👋🏻🥹

(this was mainly inspired by the comic of aimilios trying to trust him again when he’s hurt but still being terrified and dusknoir just h u r t i n g bc he knows it’s fully justified…crying in the club rn)

also I was curious how Dusknoir reacts when they evolve? is he bursting at the seems with pride at watching them “grow up” or is it more of a somber affair with him feeling relief that they’ll be able to defend themselves better against bigger, stronger pokemon (like himself) who would try to hurt them?

Sorry for the rambling, I just have a lot of feels about this big softy and I wanted to share them!😊

Op… your mind… is SO POWERFUL.

THE IDEA?? OF DUSKNOIR KNOWING NOTHING BUT DO-OR-DIE SITUATIONS IN THE FUTURE; ONLY SERVING AS A WEAPON FOR PRIMAL DIALGA TO USE… To then having to learn how to be gentle..? Of course, to fulfill the “humble and kind explorer” facade… but mainly achieving it because of Hero and Partner.

…AND HIM SEEING HOW THEY GET SLIGHTLY HURT BY HIM WHEN HE’S NOT EVEN TRYING. A SMALL PART OF HIM JUST DREADS HOW THEY’LL FARE AGAINST HIM AT HIS BEST.

AND ON TOP OF THAT?? HIM HAVING TO RELEARN IT ALL *OVER AGAIN??* AND HAVING TO ACTUALLY WORK TWICE AS HARD BECAUSE HE BROKE THEIR TRUST ONCE ALREADY????? I KNOW IM PARROTING YOUR WORDS BUT OHHHH MY GOD. IM INSANE. IM INSANE.

———

[For me, I’ve personally headcannoned it as Dusknoir being aware of his own strength. He always calculates how gentle he should treat a certain Pokémon. So he ends up having to hold back a LOT. And no one notices.]

[…Expect for Ribbon’s and Aimilios, that is.]

[They always see the slight worry mixed with concentration in Dusknoir’s expression as he gauges just how much pressure he can use when handling them. And the two always thank him for doing so.]

[In which, Dusknoir assures them that it’s nothing. It’s not like he actually cares. He’s just doing it to gain their trust more. Nevermind the fact he reminds those two to be careful. Or come to him if they sustain any really bad injuries. Or how he’s extra gentle with them specifically. It’s nothing.]

(…Is this setup for them recognizing him holding back during his fight? Is it angst potential for when those two realize just how easily Dusknoir could’ve offed them all those times they were alone with him..? >:3 maybe.)

#dadnoir #long post #Dusknoir trying to be logical and cold but his emotions getting in the way: (CRYING)#BUT YOUR TAKE. IS SO FUCKING GOOD.#AND AS FOR THE EVOLUTION ONE. I THINK IT WOULD BE A MIX OF BOTH.#him being so proud to see those two evolve. and feel less tense knowing they can protect themselves better. ough.#OUGH.#I WANNA DRAW SOMETHING FOR IT I FUCKING. (PUNCHING THE GROUND)#ONE DAY. I WILL.#I will take the time to let u know rn you are so welcome to send me these asks ANY TIME. they are SO GOOD.

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inksandpensblog · 4 months

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Please take as much time and breaks as you need! It's ok if you don't participate as much when participation is made to bring enjoyment! Please focus on what you want or need to do!

I hope things get better :]!!

Thank you.

To be honest, I think I’ve been in this state for a few months at least; the only thing that’s changed recently is the one big catastrophe that has forced me to reprioritize everything I do.

Also I’m still learning to be okay with the fact that I just don’t have the time or energy to deeply invest attention in my interests the way that I used to.

I want to read comics and fics and analysis, and respond to them, and write my own, and catch up on the series (I’m legitimately behind for the first time I can ever think of), and catch up with the friends of mine who’ve created art of all types for this fandom, but…so often now, it seems that even when I do have the time, I can’t drum up the energy it would take to really responsively involve myself in the stories, either as a creator or as an audience.

(That is something I’m hoping better time management can fix, so I can reserve energy for a venture that I deliberately set aside time for instead of leaving it to the chance of “when I have time” and then not having the energy to spare once “time” actually opens up.)

And they are all things that I do want to do, I love this series and the people I’ve met through it. I’ve made friends that I want to keep for life, here, and there are so many people with intriguing ideas and fascinating things to say. But…

…the thing I enjoy has been overwhelming to me for quite some time now, and I’m only now admitting that to myself because losing my car and my proofreading job has forced me to shift my attention away from it.

I look at this series and its fandom that I love and just see a mountain of stories and ideas and observations and art that I know I’m gonna have All The Thoughts about, which I’m gonna feel compelled to share, either in my own way or in response to someone else’s, because otherwise I won’t be able to think about anything else.

A mountain which I feel I need to catch up on, in order to keep up with everyone else.

And right now…I just can’t afford to do that.

I need to relearn that it’s okay to miss things. That not being first in line or even on-time for everything doesn’t mean I love this series any less, or make me any less of a member within the communities that surround it.

I’m not planning on leaving anytime soon. I still have projects that I intend to finish, no matter how long it takes to actually develop them to a point where they’re shareable outside my group of brainstorming buddies. I still have friends that I’ll maintain regular contact with, even if we don’t talk about AvA as much for the time being.

But I haven’t been able to absorb anything new for a while now, and I think that means it’s time for me to take a step back for a bit. I shouldn’t feel dread every time a new video airs or a new comic or fic chapter is posted because I can’t handle the thought that there’s more work I need to do to keep up with it all. It shouldn’t be work.

Again, I’m not leaving. I’ll still be around, and I’m open to interacting with anyone who has questions for me or wants my thoughts on something regarding the series or my fanworks. I just won’t be the one prompting those interactions, for now; because for the foreseeable future, I won’t be investing my attention in this series or its fandom. I can’t be the one to start those conversations anymore, and I can’t respond to things that aren’t put directly in front of me with the intent that I, specifically, should see them. I don’t have the time or the energy, and having the will is just making it harder.

Sorry for the wall of text, ehe. Thank you for understanding.

#animator vs animation #avm shorts #ava enthusiasts #my thoughts #real life

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elvenbeard · 3 months

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WIP WEDNESDAY

Yes I'm actually doing this on a Wednesday wooo :D

I just went back through all my tags of the last month and man, you guys ;__; <3 I'm not good at keeping up with tumblr atm and I don't have something to share every week, so I think once a month a WIP Wednesday might be a good compromise XD Thank you for all the tags!!

@theviridianbunny @dreamskug @ouroboros-hideout @lokiina @therealnightcity @chevvy-yates tagging you all right back!

So, with that off of my list of works in progress, as is answering all the tag games and quizzes, some projects I'm working on atm:

Writing: Love is stored in the olive jar (WT) - Chapter 13

It's done, but still needs a lot of editing, as it got very heavy on dialogue in the end and I want it all to flow more nicely and make it a bit more scenic XD Too many instances of "she looked up again" or "he paused for a moment/second" xD But I'm getting there! Here's a snippet from the already somewhat polished beginning:

“Alright,” Fuentes said as she finally caught her breath again, “I suggest we cut straight to the chase.” “Yes,” V nodded, “Thank you again for taking the time.” “Of course,” Fuentes nodded, “I have to admit, I have been thinking about you and your case a lot these past days. Even with the limited knowledge I have so far, I still believe I may be able to help. If you are willing now to tell me more about your condition now, of course.” ‘Willing’ wasn’t the word V would use, it was more a necessity at this point. “I will,” he said, “But only if you can provide me with a certain level of security.” Fuentes shifted in her chair slightly and frowned, then she opened one of the drawers of her desk and pulled out a tablet. She turned it on and began to search for something on it while maintaining eye contact with V as best as she managed. “You’ve come here today as my patient. As far as I’m concerned, everything, anything that we discuss, falls under the doctor-patient confidentiality. My contract with the Little China MedCenter binds me to treat your data and information with utmost care and discretion. All data we store is locked away securely, all in accordance with your Trauma Team policy. I can resend you the patient information papers and contracts, although I think most of them you should already have…” “I care less about the MedCenter than about what you personally do with the information I’m going to give you,” V said, and Fuentes stopped her search, narrowing her eyes slightly. “I’m not sure what you’re alluding to,” she said, still polite, but significantly more tense than before. “Nothing,” V shook his head carefully, “This is just not something I tell random strangers on the street… no offense, of course. If I have to play with open cards, I need you to as well.”

In which Vince hates doctors but has to trust one now, boo XD

Writing: Some drabbles :3

Inbetween the longfic I still have some ask prompt drabbles to fill that I'm looking forward to tackling soon! And in a sudden burst of inspiration I wrote out a long although not very serious convo between Vince and Johnny the other day xD I'd love to turn it into a (VP) comic maybe, but I'm not sure yet XD

Art: Nothing new since last time, slowly chipping away at some bigger projects inbetween

VP: Currently no concrete plans for a bigger project

Although I wanna do more "days in the life" for Vince!! And I wanna play around more with some poses though and have a very soft set to share that I gotta edit a bit still ;_; Tomorrow probably!

Also, I'd like to turn the interface thingies from my recent "V as NPC" projects into shareable templates, that is also on my wip/ to-do list! Just wanna gather some in-game reference shots first :D

Modding: 👀👀👀

I'm working on a little something maybe, and I'm so excited :DDD Just gotta relearn how to do Archive XL, it's been half a year xD And I fought MLSetup Builder so fucking hard, but now I know how to edit MLMask Setups, so that's a victory at least XD And I have a base for a very kitschy coat :3

But yes, so much to that so far! See you again in a month or so probably with an ever-growing pile of wips xD But maybe some more writing, maybe some more art, and maybe a finished mod after too long 👀

#wip wednesday #personal stuff

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drdemonprince · 1 year

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What physical symptoms can autistic burnout have? I used to be very physically strong and energetic. My mobility and my hands are so weak now. I don’t know if it’s something separate which co-occured with burnout. Are things like PoTS or EDS more common in autistic people? is it possible to lose skills you gained while masking once you reach burnout? Will I need to relearn skills I used to have? I’m 28 and previously v high achieving but I feel like I’ve lost all my developmental milestones

Autistic burnout can have any of the symptoms that regular burnout can -- because they actually are the same phenomenon. The only difference between Autistic burnout and 'regular' burnout is that the former is more likely to be related to masking, and Autistics seem to lose even more skills and require even longer rest periods than others. But that's a pretty subjective thing. And for both groups, skills lost sometimes never come back. Returning to the life situation that provoked the burnout should never be the goal.

My burnout was both Autistic burnout and regular burnout at the same time (I discuss this at length in the book Laziness Does Not Exist). I have months-long fevers, bone-shaking chills, anemia, a heart murmur, depression. I lost all passion for the field of academic study that provoked my burnout and it never came back. I had to radically reorient my life, which I was lucky to be able to do. I lost masking skills, lost the ability to pretend to be cishet, lost drive and motivation. Ultimately it was a necessary awakening. But it was frightening to be so tired and weak.

Autism is strongly correlated with EDS. Lots of people who are Autistic or related to people who are Autistic report having EDS. I'm not sure about POTS.

One of the defining characteristics of burnout is in fact a loss of skills. In Autistics this skills loss tends to be more obvious than in non-Autistic people. We lose the ability to mask, to make eye contact, to overwork, to conform to expectations that were not serving us, to be exploited. It is painful but it is a wake-up call that the life you have been leading is not sustainable.

Again, this is why focusing on relearning skills or retaining one's prior abilities to be exploited/pressured to conform ought not to be the goal. The goal is to find a sustainable lifestyle and healing. I understand that's incredibly threatening to one's self-concept in most cases, and even more pressingly, it's a threat to one's ability to survive under capitalism. So it makes sense that most people find it very difficult to accept (and admittedly, I still panic and have trouble making sense of myself and my place in the world every time I experience a skills drop). But accepting your current state of functioning and strategizing how to survive, get support, and build a life that works with that present reality will probably serve you better in the long term.

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crystallinecardinal · 5 months

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I’ve been working on my Watcher!Grian Desert Duo fic (I Will Only Break Your Pretty Things) and I keep thinking about the progression Grian has to go through from seeing everything through a Watcher lens to reacquainting himself with being a player, as well as what that means, especially when it comes to actually taking care of himself during Third Life.

Long ramble about worldbuilding, Watchers, time, wings, pain, exhaustion, rest, neglect, and feeling safe after the cut. Or, just a really long thought process for a scene in which Scar helps Grian sleep one night in the desert.

I feel like Watchers don’t have to care for themselves in the same way players do. Which, sure, maybe that’s a given, even with the way this fic toys with and alters Watcher lore, but the basics of the idea are still there. Watchers are still beings that feast on emotion, I just like to expand on them a bit.

Point is: Watchers don’t need to physically eat, or sleep, or drink, or preen, or blink, or do anything that a mortal player would have to. Aches and pains aren’t felt by them. You’ll never hear a Watcher complain about a headache from overindulgence, or about unkempt wings. It simply Doesn’t Happen, especially not out in the Void. They are immortal, god-like beings that do not have to exist the same way players do by their very code and biology.

Which, in the end, I think would make it especially hard for Grian, both coming in to being a Watcher, and having most of his power stripped from him as he enters Third Life.

It’s hard to tell how much time passes in the Void. It’s like time is different, in a way, akin to sitting outside the edge of the event horizon of a black hole. To a player, time can feel much shorter or longer than it actually is. Months can speed by in an instant, and just the same, only a few weeks can pass when it feels like years. Time is just Weird in the Void. Watchers barely sense it. Time is infinite to a Watcher, they can manipulate it as they see fit in the worlds they observe.

When Grian first became a Watcher, I can imagine it wasn’t easy to get used to. Imagine, all your life, you’re mortal. Of course, mortal in the vague sense, respawning is a thing you know well. Any player knows about respawning, but the point is: you still can die. Suddenly, you fall into a place filled with stars, and are brought amongst the ranks of beings beyond your world. Just like that, you’re no longer human, if the new eyes and small wings that would surely grow and multiply with time said anything. And now, you don’t need to blink. You don’t feel hot, or cold, or anything. But you feel hungry, a dull sensation not quite like pain that ripples through your senses, spawning a new kind of instinct you aren’t familiar with. And as time presses on, you forget how it once was to be a player, and fall in line with the new normal.

I feel like during that time, lost in the Void, learning what it meant to be a Watcher, Grian felt time slow. It passed for him as it does all Watchers, but it felt like ages. And in the process, he learned how to feed on player emotion, the one thing all Watchers must do to survive, to maintain their code, and he lost himself. Gone was the player Grian, the one smiling amongst friends, and in was Xelqua, the Watcher who had forgotten what it meant to be human, gaze ceaseless.

So, that all leads to an issue. When you’ve forgotten your time as a player, how do you cope with turning mortal again? How do you deal with a new body, with aches in your wings and pain in your muscles? How do you relearn basic functions that don’t come with instinct, how do you learn to take care of yourself again?

It’s a simple answer if you’re Xelqua, taking your old name back: you put on a badly hidden facade, try to dismiss your failing memory, and cope.

Sure, maybe you relearn some of it, or at least the parts you’ve had to learn from years of Watching. Preening is part of that. You’ve only ever had wings as a Watcher, and even those barely had to be maintained. Now, you need to keep up with them as much as possible, and even worse: you can feel all of the sensations that come with it, and absolutely do not want to unpack that. And, of course, you’re trapped in a death game of your own design, meant to feed Watchers, all the while you feel a dull ache in your stomach. Lovely!

So, knowing all this, that brings me to the main thought I’ve been having: What if during the early parts of Third Life, back when Grian first left the Watchers and was stripped of his immortality, he felt vulnerable and unsafe when his eyes were closed?

He’s always had them open, for as long as he can remember. As said previously, Watchers don’t need to blink, Watchers don’t have to sleep, Watchers don’t have to take care of themselves like mortals do, so his eyes have always stayed open in some way. He always Watched, and never stopped, not even in idle dormancy. He’s never been without sight for what feels like years, and he’s never been threatened with pain and possible death for the same timeframe.

Now, stranded in his own death game, he feels like if at any moment he shuts his eyes, closes out his main avenue of sensing danger, then something could kill him. No one’s red yet, but danger still lurks around every corner. He’s not yet used to pain again, nor the way death feels, and it’s worse knowing that he only has three chances. He goes to the desert, bound by oath, and even there, there’s still an ever-present danger, but at least there’s distractions. He has a sand castle to build, a vast amount of sand to light up, and a teammate to keep alive. He ignores the way exhaustion tugs at him, because, well, when you’re really stubborn about keeping your eyes open, who needs sleep when there’s something to be done?

So, what if that’s part of what keeps him awake much longer than a mortal should be awake for? What if it’s not only the drive to complete tasks, getting way too wrapped up in the progress of it, but also the fear of letting his guard down? What if he barely feels the way his body begs him to sleep, all until he’s standing still, but he continues to fight against it anyway?

And then, (here’s the fun part for the Desert Duo enjoyers,) what if it’s Scar who breaks that? Scar of all people, Grian’s new ally and the man he accidentally killed? What if it’s Scar who helps a very sleep deprived Grian to finally let go of his voluntary restlessness, and close his eyes? He has a silver tongue, after all, and in their castle amongst the dunes, maybe it’s one of the few times Grian gives in. One of the first times he lets himself be more vulnerable around Scar, and one of the first times he smiles, warmth in his chest.

All is to say: what if it’s Scar who starts to make Grian feel safe enough to sleep, and starts to make him feel human again?

#I’d love to hear thoughts on this if anyone has any!#it’s probably worth noting this fic *is* intended to be shippy #so that can be taken into consideration :)#I just think it would be a fun scene to have Scar help Grian sleep and that be a more sweet scene #yknow #alongside all the tragedy #gotta have balance and a way to build things up #desert duo #scarian #trafficshipping #watcher grian #third life smp #trafficblr

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citrus-cactus · 4 months

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Citrus' Art Summary 2023!

The year is almost over, so here's my art summary for 2023! I got this template from here. This is my third year in a row being able to populate every month with a finished(/digital) piece (and really, I did a LOT more than what's shown here!), so that feels like something to celebrate!

Technically some of these choices don’t match up with their post dates; I counted some months as “when I was primarily working on them” and some as “when I actually published them,” but the sentiment remains. Like I said, it was a busy year! :)

Some more rambling + links to all featured artwork beneath the cut:

I remember last year I was quite worried about/was actually teetering on the edge of artistic burnout. There were definitely some months during this year that I felt a bit overwhelmed (particularly during the summer, when I was working on a 5-illustration series in a style that was DEFINITELY outside my norm, PLUS a bunch of other stuff), but I also appreciated the stylistic variety, and doing a lot of sketchbook drawings/marginalia that were(/are) just for me, so they never had to be "finished” or even "good." Even though almost everything pictured here is Digimon(/anime) art, I did experiment with a more "realistic" style for the Dracula Daily series (Aug/Sept), as well as trying to relearn the "Disney" style I started drawing in waaaaaaay back in high school, only now with a LOT more understanding of facial structure and anatomy. Largely, this style shake-up has been incredibly freeing (these are still sketchbook-only studies at this point, but I'm planning on some digital illustrations in the Disney style in 2024). I'm sure they still look pretty anime-influenced, and I'm not sure I'll ever truly be able to escape that, but honestly I don't mind; the anime aesthetic IS a part of my preference/style!

Let's see, the prevailing fandoms for what's shown here are Digimon Survive and Adventure 02. I really want to draw more Survive art next year!! Really happy with the collabo between @vidramon and myself (July), and honestly most (if not all) of these pieces. I worked hard, I branched out, I took on some really ambitious projects, and finished a ton of things (looking at you, March! That Knight drawing was a WIP for an entire year, but I finished it instead of abandoning it, which is what usually happens when things sit around that long!). Ultimately, I believe I told (and helped tell!) some great stories through my creative projects and art this year, which is my true goal forever and always.

Honestly I'm happiest with April's drawing. That one was a ton of fun to do, but I would have to work really hard to replicate that coloring style because I don't remember my brushes/settings, ahaha. Sadly this is how it usually goes with coloring for me; I make it up as I go almost every single time, which is why series are so difficult for me. I am nothing if not inconsistent -_-;

I would be remiss to mention that a huge part of my productivity this year was due to setting and tracking monthly goals for myself. I gotta thank everyone on the @campdigimonth server for their help in keeping me organized and motivated throughout the year! I plan on continuing my creative check-in posts in 2024.

Next year, I want to a) make more Survive art (particularly with Survive Week coming up), b) draw some more flippin' gargoyles (CRIIIINGE, but no, cringe is dead, I'mma do what I want!), and c) keep working on my personal project! And I am, once again, thinking about bookbinding. That's a "maybe" for next year as well!

Descriptions and links to the full artwork pictured for each month:

January: Survive Week, Day 5

February: Survive Gang Aromantic Week

March: Knight Unryuuji and Friend

April: “Rose-Tinted” fic illustration

May: Happy Birthday Vi!

June: Happy Birthday Haru Shinkai!

July: Happy 1st Anniversary Survive! (aka BEST SOCK FRIENDS)

August: Dracula, September 13

September: Dracula, September 20

October: Adv 02 Countdown Event, Day 7

November: “Boo!” on the Cob

December: Digimon Secret Santa 2023

#the cactus speaks #art summary #art summary 2023 #my art

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fallenclan · 6 months

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OHH MYRTLEPAW BELOVED... DELIGHT in how you draw them / their general vibe they're soso cute :3. I think he and Mistlekit should get to bond over similar names. Him and Bristleheart too maybe, in that they're in the nursery at the same time and Mistle is probably pretty lonely... Similar names former loner solidarity ! Admittedly all the basis I have for this is that, but I do think it'd be cute... Especially with Mistle having been left behind, the idea of him having some older cats with similar experiences (confident and charismatic, too! More likely to reach out...) as a support system charms me a lot.

. OH MY GOD I FORGOT THISTLE . SHE FITS NEAR PURRFECTLY AS WELL... Former kittypet, but I think there's still a similarity :} and through him, Boulderstep; Bristle's kits through him and the nursery in general, likely Bub through Myrtlepaw as another former loner if they get on well, so on...

(Bashful gesture) heheh, apawlogy, the thought of a kid all on his own in an intimidating new world finding bonds and solidarity with the cats around him enough to feel safe and secure there in them got me. He's imaginative, he probably spends a fair deal of time in his own head, I picture him as kind of quiet myself, but the thought of him going from spending nights staring up at the sky and wondering after his mom, hoping she'll come back for him, to hearing stories from Bristleheart (the truth stretched just a Little for the sake of a good story, commentated on by Night and Quail for as long as they can stay awake to listen), or about apprentice training from Myrtle (with his current injury, I can imagine a kinda cute little "haha, maybe our tails'll match soon" exchange), or from Thistle about her time adjusting to clan life, maybe even from Boulder about different clans, and so on...

(.AND BRISTLE AND MYRTLE MIGHT HAVE TIME TO BOND BC MYRTLE'S HAVING AN INJURY LOOKED AFTER!! Charismatic & confident >:D KAHAHAA...)

(draping myself kittyishly across a nearby structure, staring up at the sky) I wonder if he still thinks about his mom, even after time has passed, the wound's less fresh... He's imaginative. I wonder if he tries to think up stories about what she might be doing, adventures she could be going on, so dangerous she couldn't risk bringing him. Maybe someone nudged him towards it, some quiet conversation in which he bared his heart, looking for guidance - "What do you think she's doing now?" A way to keep her in his heart, without it hurting as much. He probably understands what actually happened, to some degree. Someday, if not now. (Personally, I concur with the thought that she gave him up because she knew she was going to die soon.) Still, the story persists... She might end up more a character than a memory, at some point, but sometimes that's how things happen. He keeps her with him. I think he might write stories if he were a person. Maybe he'll tell them to some kit himself, someday...

SORRY. ^ THOUGHT TOO MUCH.

ANYWAY!!! MISC THOUGHTS. I think Bristleheart is probably pretty respectable as a medic, just divorced from the holy aspect that clan cats associate with the role. Maybe as a loner, he had to focus more on prevention than treatment - likely limited stores of herbs if any, less cats to have to care for, therefore more of a "take advantage of what you have/can find when you need, before things get worse" approach. It's impractical for a clan of so many cats to have each cat have some travelling herbs occasionally (or so, vague example) in the months they know sickness is more likely (to bolster their immune systems, or so), but not so bad an idea when you're just taking care of your kittens, or giving some cat who came to see you and herb and advice, you know? He'd probably have to relearn some things in a clan setting, but I think he'd contribute good, new ideas just as surely. Sunwish had to learn everything from scratch, after all - she knew a lot, by the end, and definitely enough to keep the clan afloat for a long while, but she didn't know every plant around the area! Certainly not those beyond the clan's borders. I think Bristle's knowledge certainly won't rival it - there's bound to be overlap, after all, and Fallenclan's medicine cats have figured out a lot - but it'll be a definitely handy addition! A new perspective... As far as character goes, I think he's pretty respectable. Some combination of "fake it til you make it" and genuinely just being sure in what he does. He does what he does well. (SIDENOTE: HIS FANGS AND HIS KITTENS HAVING ONE EACH ARE REALLY, REALLY CUTE...) And I think his kits have inherited that, a little! They don't really have a reason to believe things won't work out, because he's been doing all he can to make sure they do. He seems reliable to me.

Myrtlepaw... I think they're cute <3 a little unsure of things, but he's finding his feet okay, being charismatic probably doesn't hurt. I'll have to wait a see a little more of what they're like! :3

(BONUS: If Bub DID get sort of close with Mistle through Myrtle it is very very cute to me to consider him reflecting on it as practice if him and Willow ever have kits.) (. If they have had kits and I have somehow fully forgotten I am So Sorry,)

ALSO. OHHHHGHGH BRAMBLE FIC... MOSS AND SALMON FIC.... WE'RE EATING WELL RECENTLY IM HOWLING AND WAILING ABOUT BOTH

AND SALMON KITS!!! AWWWW... HELL YEAH HELL YEAH HELL YEAH

(- 🐈‍⬛) (. This is so long. I Am So Sorry,)

"the thought of a kid all on his own in an intimidating new world finding bonds and solidarity with the cats around him enough to feel safe and secure there in them got me" AUGHHHHHHHHHHH BLACK CAT YOU ARE DRIVING ME TO INSANITYYYY THIS IS SO CUTE

you are so so right btw. and the idea of Bub taking Mistle under his wing is so adorable aughh

#so many thoughts #fallenasks #black cat anon

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dragonchris · 11 months

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Game Review: Crosscode

Imagine if you were playing an Augmented Reality Multiplayer Online RPG but instead of actually playing an Augmented Reality Multiplayer Online RPG you played as a character who was playing an Augmented Reality Mulitplayer Online RPG? Welcome to Crosscode, an absolute BANGER of a RPG and the single game I’ve been obsessed with for the last two months or so.

Story:

Meet Lea, an amnesiac playing through the Augmented Reality game of Crossworlds to relearn her memories. Through the story, you meet incredibly fun characters and explore a gorgeous futuristic world, uncovering the secrets of your past and figuring out who you are in the present. This game’s got some twists and turns that kept me gripped the whole way through. I wanted to squeeze every dialogue option out of all the characters I met to learn everything about them that I could. Man this game has a story that’s so rich and plentiful I feel like I’m wallowing in a five-star course. I love a good lore-filled game.

Gameplay and Controls:

As Lea, you travel through a 2D RPG, exploring new places, solving puzzles, and fighting monsters to level up! The world is vast and well-designed, the puzzles are immaculate, but one of the most fleshed out parts of this game is its combat system. I’m usually more a puzzle gameplay person than a combat one but man the combat just feels good. The enemies are interesting and varied, you’ve got an extensive amount of control over how to build the character that you want to play, and its super satisfying to go back to earlier levels that you’ve toiled through and just fucking disintegrate every enemy in your path. And there’s accessibility options too, for both the combat aspect of the game and the puzzle aspect!

Sound:

The music is a treat and is very intuitive to the mood of the story and the environment, But also, past that, just the sounds in general are great too. I didn’t realize what a treat it was for certain attacks to sound so nice until I was using them. There are places in the game where the waterfall effects are a bit too loud, but other than that, the game is just really nice to listen to.

Art:

Crosscode’s got a nice pixel style which lends a special charm to the game, almost calling back to older games with its style while making a story about a futuristic gaming environment. The only gripe I have with this style is that, due to its 2D nature, it can be hard to gauge perspective sometimes which can make platforming a bit tricky.

Playable, Replayable, or Unplayable?

God, there is so much in this game to do. It’s worth playing it, it’s worth going back and replaying it. For an indie game, it’s so richly made and there’s so much love put into it that I can’t recommend it enough. If you’re looking into this game, I’d HIGHLY recommend also yoinking the “A New Home” DLC, which offers a whole-ass epilogue chapter. And if you’re not sure if it’s the right game for you, try the free demo out! Man, I love this game. 10/10.

Steam

#christallizedgamereview #crosscode

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