#YOURE EVEN WORSE THAN PIKACHU MAN | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

purplekoop · 18 days

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A bit belated of a topic, but last week's holiday and a few other things have me positing the possibilities of "joke" weapons for War Bots.

The tricky thing is that it's hard to define what a joke weapon really counts as. My go-to definition for a joke character, weapon, move, etc in a game would be something like "funny in execution but not practical", but this is still a hard line to draw. In large part it's because comedy is subjective, and what one person finds funny could just be annoying to someone else, but it's also hard to define what the "funny" part should be.

For instance, Smash Bros has a variety of answers to what joke characters it has. To a casual fan, characters like Jigglypuff, Mr. Game and Watch, Wii Fit Trainer, Duck Hunt, and Piranha Plant are joke characters due to their conceptual absurdity in just being playable in this game. To a more competitively inclined person, Ganondorf and Little Mac are instead the joke characters because of their incredibly min-maxed skillsets making them extremely unviable in serious competitive play, thus the joke becomes not their existence, since they feel like they seriously should be here, but rather their functionality. Sometimes these opinions align, Plant has been considered pretty lackluster, but sometimes they directly clash, like Jigglypuff being one of Melee's best characters. But according to the series creator (not looking up the exact source so Dude Trust Me), Smash doesn't have joke characters at all. Every character is made as seriously as everyone else, regardless of who they are or how well they end up doing competitively. I personally think that Smash's only true joke character is Melee Pichu, an absurd and dated inclusion almost certainly here due to Melee's tiny development period leading to abundance of clones in its roster, and a character so deliberately self-detrimental with no redeeming qualities that it's a miraculous accident that there are worse characters competitively than them. Their trophies even allude to jow terrible they are, and how they should just scramble for items rather than seriously fighting on their own. But even then, when they returned for Ultimate, they were "un-joked" and turned into a serious character with the lowest durability and a self-damage mechanic, but also genuine strengths over Pikachu that made them a seriously competitive character that was even NERFED early into the game's lifespan. Pichu is a real character now who has a genuine place in the game's cast, and isn't just a comically undertuned throw pick used to flex on your friends if you somehow win with them.

A similar but more infamous deliberately bad fighting game character is Dan Habiki, who got his start in Street Fighter Alpha before becoming a series mainstay. In Alpha, he was very literally a joke, made to make fun of Capcom's rival fighting game company SNK and their suspiciously similar looking gi-wearing fireball-throwing martial arts man, Ryo. To poke fun at this imitation of Ryu, Dan is a deliberately terrible clone of Ryu, with a pitifully weak close-range fireball in place of the gameplay-defining hadouken of his more competent counterparts. His one strength? Taunting. In Alpha, every other character can only taunt once per round, but Dan can spam his taunt as much as he pleases. He can even pull off a super taunt, which uses meter like a normal super, but does no damage and leaves him exceedingly vulnerable. The ultimate flex. This puts him in a very stark contrast to Akuma, the secret superboss character of SF2 that was banned in that game's competitive play, but has since become toned down to be a much more competitively fair character in the rest of the series. Similarly, and just like Pichu, Dan was turned into a serious character in terms of competitive usability in later installments, though retained his comical nature by incorporating his goofy nature into his gameplay. He's still funny, but now he's taken seriously as a character. In SF5 he actually somehow had infinite combo, a rarity in a big-name modern fighting game. This was patched out by giving his aforementioned terrible fireball, which is part of the infinite combo, a random chance to come out as a stronger red fireball. This gave Dan an appropriately funny random chance to throw out a stronger attack, but also the way the red fireball launches the opponent breaks the infinite. It's a buff and a nerf at the same time, a paradox so delightfully and thoroghly Dan.

Fighting games have a more storied history of deliberate joke characters past Pichu and Dan, which are too numerous to go into here in full detail. Skullgirls has Fukua and Robo Fortune, parodies of real characters Filia and Miss Fortune of dubious canonocity that owe their existence to jokes too complicated for me to explain now. Sega's old internal crossover fighting game, Fighters Megamix, has a roster including cast members from Virtua Fighter, Fighting Vipers, Sonic the Fighters, and... a car from Daytona USA. Excellent youtuber Leon Massey has a recent video discussing Tekken 3's two terrible bottom tier joke characters, which I highly recommend giving a watch.

But this is all a bit of a tangent, with the main point being that the culture of fighting games makes it unclear sometimes what a joke character really is, while also deliberate joke characters are often made more serious as a series goes on, but still retaining their identity as "funny".

For a more relevant genre, let's talk class shooters... and by that I mean TF2. Overwatch doesn't really have joke characters, it's not a game devoid of humor but it likes to take its cast seriously.

TF2 doesn't really have joke characters either, the cast was made well ahead of the game devolving into mediocre Adult Swim humor, but TF2 *does* have interchangeable weapons introduced later on. Most of these are serious additions to a character's arsenal, even if in somewhat comical forms like a ham sandwich or a soda can. But even in its earlier alternate weapons, there additions that felt like deliberate downgrades added for either sheer fun or comedy value, like the Huntsman being a questionably useful alternative to the hyper-efficient sniper rifle that's validated by just kinda being funny to use and see in action.

As the game went on though, there's very clear instances of joke weapons that aren't useful but funny, weapons that are plain bad but not in a funny way, and weapons with comical concepts but genuine uses in gameplay. The Holy Mackerel is functionally identical to Scout's weak default baseball bat, but announces every hit in the kill feed and humiliates enemies on death with the condemnation of a "Fish Kill", because hitting people with a fish is funny. The Hot Hand meanwhile has Pyro slap people twice with a unique glove, and is objectively kinda useless, which adds up to being a vaguely funny throw weapon. The Pomson 3000 is a cool-looking shotgun alternative for the Engineer that is just terrible, but in a way that isn't funny or interesting, just kinda frustrating. And the Second Banana is one of the final weapons ever added, given to Heavy as a gag pity prize to rub in how he lost to Pyro in a vote for a major update... but it ended up being a seriously viable sidegrade to the Sandvich, with its stat adjustments giving it pros and cons that fit a slightly different playstyle over Heavy's mainstay secondary. It was a joke in concept, but a valid choice in practice.

This all adds up to joke options being kind of. Weird. Not only in the variable nature of comedy, but also in how seriously they get taken in practice. Sometimes what wasn't meant to be a joke becomes one, sometimes what was meant to be a joke is taken seriously, and sometimes this status flips over time.

...this post became very long and eventually wasn't about War Bots, so I'll go into my ideas there later on. There's more I wanted to talk about, didn't even get to taunt kills, but god this is a lot to type on a phone so give me a break.

#long post #not gonna subject other game-specidic tags to this

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mejcinta · 2 months

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I said thought the same thing regarding the Ser Harold scene. I totally understand why it was cut because Harold tell Harwin the same thing when he dishonored the Princess the 3 obvious times we know about?

This scene would’ve hit viewers over the head with a mallet showing the level of privilege and protection Rhaenyra has compared Alicent, which is not exactly Rhaenyra’s fault but should be recognized nonetheless. At this point Rhaenyra has had 3 of Harwin Strong’s bastards and everyone knows this. Has seen this man coming and going from the Princess’s private living quarters- he’s Captain of the city guard and not Rhaenyra’s sworn sword or member of the household guard, why is he there? There’s no reason for it, so their affair is this open secret yet no one (except Alicent in privacy) says a thing out of fear of repercussions

Yet Alicole share glances and inside jokes and Harold is there warning Criston with cautionary tales of gelding. Alicent can’t even have this friend and friendship with the person who guards her and her family every day. (While Westerling himself seems to have a close relationship with Viserys and Rhaenyra. He definitely has a bias that he shouldn’t have if he’s admonishing Criston, so much hypocrisy)

I’ve seen so many people say that Alicent should have had an affair of her own and that she’s just mad at Rhaenyra because she was bold enough to do it but 2 different sets of rules exist for Rhaenyra and Alicent. Imagine a scenario if Daeron had been born with olive skin and brown/black hair, shit would have hit the fan. “Viserys the Peaceful” would’ve sent Alicent to the same place Saera was or WORSE (remember how thirsty Viserys seemed at Driftmark or Aemond and Aegon to tell on their mother), Criston would’ve been gelded and sent to the wall or worse and little Daeron Flowers/Storm/Sands- an innocent in this whole thing would definitely not have enjoyed the privilege of a royal upbringing and protection from whispers. He would have been tossed out of the castle before he even turned a Moon old. Alicent would’ve been called every “whore” and “cunt” by Rhaenyra and Daemon because she dared cheat on their crusty butt Valyrian blooded Father/Brother.

Well said, anon. All this!

There's no point having morality or honour arguments because most of the hotd characters are entwined in scandal or know of them and are powerless against it.

For me, that is why Erryk looked stupid in ep 9. He walked out on Arryk and Aegon because Rhaenyra is a better person????

Seriously, the writers are so silly acting like there are nice guys and bad guys in this Game of Thrones.

Juvenile! Cartoon minded.

When Blood and Cheese happens will Erryk wear a Pikachu face and be like, "I thought you guys were the nice ones?" 🤡

They should've just left things as they were in the book! Arryk and Erryk were posted to the different monarchs from the beginning. And were forced to be on opposing sides despite of loving each other as brothers.

Not this nonsense of My Guy is More Principled than Your Guy.

Sorry for going off topic but point still stands that the concept of morality in hotd and GoT is so silly. These characters are knee deep in shady deals and activities. That shit can't be washed away.

#ser westerling #ser erryk #ser arryk

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bonefall · 1 year

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Honestly Moth Flight treats Windstar like shit too. They're noth terrible to each other, but at some parts in Moth's SE, I was like girl, please listen to your mom. She has lived a bit longer than you. She knows what's up!

They both do fight constantly, but I put more blame on Wind Runner because she's the parent in this situation. Moth Flight is a vindictive weirdo who doesn't take advice, but some of that probably stems from how her mom is an even worse vindictive weirdo who doesn't take advice.

I would also struggle to listen to people if I was like Moth Flight and no one bothered to hear ME out.

But that said, it doesn't stop being incredibly frustrating that Moth is told, "Clear Sky is an unreasonable man," she responds, "he can't possibly be unreasonable!" And then acts Surprised Pikachu when Clear Sky is an Unreasonable Man.

#The SE bothers meee #Warrior cats analysis #I like Wind Runner btw but like...#I like her for being a problem #I like how her strong personality can lead to conflict #And this arc is very bad at having nuance

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tokillamockingbird427 · 8 months

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i wholeheartedly agree with ur response to my previous ask, especially with the trilingual and accent one. i imagine its like a somewhat thick-ish accent too that they have (rorke’s is probably more light than logans), since portuguese and spanish are probably the more dominant languages than english. (mainly my hc/theory bc of the fed that was stuttering in spanish and english before keegan killed him during the ajax mission but that’s somewhat irrelevant).

now adding onto ur trilingual hc(?), i imagine logan forgetting certain words and his mind goes absolutely blank in trying to find what the fuck the word is in any of the languages hes fluent in. (example: “i think he went to the… eh…“) and yes, this 100% applies to rorke, and if not the old man is probably WORSE. but unlike logan, rorke is way more fluent in english, as logan cant hold an entire conversation without speaking in either the other two dominant languages. of course though, i would like to think this is when logan decides to speak, because i feel like hes more of a “i hate people so i don’t talk” but is compassionate type of guy. (totally not cause we dont hear the man speak because of the silent protagonist era..)

im not sure what hesh’s(specifically) and the other ghosts reaction would be besides surprised pikachu, “he forgot english? we took THAT long???”, or “what the fuck did rorke DO.”, but im sure itd be something funny or angsty. as hesh and logan in your hc(that i adore cause it honestly suits them) are mixed and dont have that strong of an accent, the accent change from logan when he decides to talk would probably make hesh feel sad in a way, knowing he took too long to find logan before he 1) develops an accent, 2) is now trilingual, and 3) most likely doesn’t remember him or really any of the ghosts if we take that route of angst.

bonus again in favor of your lovely bonus: rorke and logan would absolutely make fun of eachother when they forget a word. (it would also be funny if its other feds who join in but they’re all probably scared of both or they all also deal with the same problem… but they might..)

and i’ll definitely send more asks in the future regarding similar topics like these or hcs in general! :)

— random anon

Logan frustrated to tears because he's gotta sort through three languages to find one word (Four if you include american sign, ASL, headcanon.) when he doesn't even like speaking. He'd make some bad joke about it being the reason he doesn't talk a lot, it's too much work when he can just stand there looking scary and let Rorke do his monologues.

Pls, calling Rorke an old man. I forget he's older than Elias because he really does NOT act like it. They gave him eternal youth in the pit or something because how the fuck was he getting his ass whooped like he was and shaking it off? (Au perhaps, curse of immortality?)

I HC that Logan's selectively mute (as do a few moots of mine) so to me it's not that he hates talking to people, it's just that speaking verbally makes him majorly uncomfortable. So instead he communicates through different avenues. Like writing things to be read, or signing, and even letting Hesh do all the talking for him. (One he uses the most, because it's easiest. Which can be used for angst when Logan then refuses to have Hesh talk for him post pit/beach EHEHHEHE.) He is absolutely so compassionate tho, I love that, I adore giving him a really big heart. Makes the angst where he's cold and angry so much more painful! :D (<- The face of a man who suffers under his own hand)

Oh the angst of the Ghosts being forced to face how much time has passed when they meet Logan again and he's changed so radically his primary language is no longer his "mother tongue." (mother tongue being spanglish, new primary being solely spanish.) Even outside a full "Amnesic Logan" au there'd still be things he'd forget and that is some good angst to explore. Hells yeah.

Hah, Logan and Rorke bullying the shit out of a each other. "Oh you stopped in the middle of your monologue, what was that? Forgot the word did you?" "Stfu that was a dramatic pause." "More like an awkward pause." "I'm gonna put you back in the pit blondie I stg." "Try me you bald bitch." (Subordinates too scared to tell if they're joking with each other or serious)

Can't wait to get more asks from you, I love it :D

#call of duty #call of duty ghosts #logan walker #gabriel rorke #random anon #beloved anon

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safetycar-restart · 2 years

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hellooooo lemon here!! turns out i still have a lot of thoughts on past d/s seb pitch i think ill even make it two separate asks

so first of all, YES to him leaning into you like he can't help it and getting exhausted really easily after you start scening, but i feel like there is another layer to it. i mean, sure, his body is totally like 'pikachu i choose you' and just drops when he's in your care but his mind isnt necessarily there yet? less in terms of trust, he does get very comfortable in his relationship with you very quickly, but more in terms of how much he actually needs and how much of your time he ends up occupying bc of it.

because, look, he is a very responsible and thoughtful guy. stellar work ethic. has been aggressively self-sufficient (even if not necessarily by choice) to the point of bones cracking for the past several years.

so first off, it would completely blindside him how much care and downtime and just full-on recovery he actually needs, because he wouldnt have a good awareness of it at any point before it is actually safe enough to just drop and stay down. and at first, this is all thats happening: the moment his body recognises you as safe and just goes 'yup great im your problem now' he really is just that--all yours. he is leaning into you, he is seeking you out, he makes a beeline to you every time he sees you in the motorhome even if all he has time for is to say hi and get a very brief hug, he is squeezing everything out of whatever time he can get with you like a man in a desert offered a cup of water.

the thing is, as soon as his needs get at least remotely met, his brains kick back on, and he suddenly has so many problems with his own behaviour, because:

a) his body seems to just give out on him, which is fair, bc it snapped out of survival mode and refuses to be shoved back into it, but is still scary as fuck

b) he is suddenly not self-reliant at all, if something happens and your support gets pulled out from under him he'd just crumble like a house of cards, which is even worse, and

c) yes, your job is to take care of him, but its a job. how much of your 'office hours' does he end up occupying? how much of what's supposed to be your actual downtime? can he be sure he doesn't pull the blanket towards himself so much it affects how much energy you have on lance, who is equally in your care? his relationship with the ferrari dom arent an example, so he has no frame of reference as to how much of your time and energy he can expect to get in a balanced dynamic, and because to him the amount of support he suddenly needs feels overwhelming (in reality, it is quite a bit, but nowhere near actual disaster scale, especially after what he's been through), he becomes convinced he is way to much and you just dont have the heart to tell him to back off. and the last thing he wants is to cause you problems, because you are so, so good to him.

so he starts limiting himself. withdrawing. he doesn't seek you out nearly as often--he is still leaning into you if you happen to be around, he would gladly grab a lunch with you if you offer, he is never late to your sessions despite being late pretty much for everything else, but outside of scening he sort of... disappears.

you do find it odd when it starts to happen, but decide to wait and see how it plays out instead of confronting him right away: you know its important to him to feel competent and independent, so maybe now that he's healed at least a bit he wants to put some distance between you, see how he can fair without your hand-holding him so much. it goes pretty well at first, but then he starts leaving together with lance whenever youd scene with both of them, and that--that is more than just odd.

the problem is, while lance needs his aftercare to be more active (you ruffling his hair, talking to him, that sort of thing), seb needs it long. it doesnt have to be very engaged, he is good simply cuddling up to you and just laying there, he doesnt need too much attention, just some touch and time to feel safe and undisturbed, and maybe a little nap in your lap--because while scening does have huge benefits for him, it is also always intense emotionally if not physically and takes the last crumbs of energy out of him, what with how exhausted he is already.

so when at lance's 'i think im gonna head out' seb starts to jump up and get ready to go too, it sets off all sorts of alarm bells.

you let it slide, once, but when he tries to pull the same shit the next time, even though he is clearly not ready to leave, you tell him to stay. and he is so--he just tenses up, immediately, and looks like he expects you to be mad at him, to punish him, and your heart clenches, because... you just wish he would let you take care of him, but instead he feels broken for needing it in the first place.

and i feel like this is going to be a problem thats gonna arise a few more times, because while he desperately wants to believe that youre ready to and genuinely want to take care of him, he is so unused to being in this position the thought just has trouble sticking

this is a mile long again and i dont really know how to resolve it (do you schedule extra time with him so he doesnt feel like he's crashing on you after hours? do you turn your lunches into hand feeding him? i cant seem to find a good solution :c ) so can i please leave it in your tender care?

- Lemon 💜🍋

Ok everyone strap this is gonna be a long one because every point made here is IMMACULATE and I have so much to say. Lemon has once again outdone themselves holy fuck.

I fully agree that his mind takes a long time to catch up with his body, physically he's napping on your chest and leaning against you and seeking constant support, but mentally? He has no fucking idea where he is.

You can see that of course, so I think there would be a very fein line between helping and hurting and you often struggle to tell. Because, he needs the help and support, that much is clear. But he's also not in the right headspace for a lot of what you're offering?

You want to offer him a safe space, but you need to have some type of engagement with you, some communication so you know what he needs and can help him heal. Because you know he'll never actually heal unless he can engage with what happened to him and what he needs now.

Except if you push him, he might break and stop trusting you. So you really can't be asking too much of him, because the risk of him not trusting you anymore is far too great.

And of course while you're struggling with all of this, Sebastian is going through his own difficulties. He slowly begins to understand what's happening to him, what has happened to him and where he is now.

And yeah, he doesn't take it well.

Firstly, it's absolutely terrifying how Sebastian can't even manage to do things on his own anymore. I think, more than just struggling with the pressures of being a racing driver, he'd struggle even more with being alone?

His worst hours are when he's alone, when he must make his own dinners, do his own workouts, put himself to bed.

And that's why he spends so much time with you? Because when he's with you, you do those things for him. You help him make all his decisions, give him a safe harbour where he doesn't have to think about a single thing.

But the fact that he needs that is fucking terrifying. The fact that he can't put himself to bed... can't choose what to eat... can't do anything besides wait and hope he sees you soon.

I think it would take him a while to have the realisation that this is your job, that you're here because you're being paid.

And I actually think it will be something very small that does it? Maybe he's talking to his assistant about his schedule and she says, "Do you want an extra scene scheduled?" and of course he says yes, so his assistant says, "No problem, I'll let the finance guys know to add an extra scene to your Dom's payments"

That's when he realises. You're being paid to be here. Which he's known the whole time, but hearing it so casually...

He actually nearly breakdowns over that? Because it's never been professional to him. He's never been just a client. But has he... has he been just a client to you?

Which makes him wonder, are you being paid overtime? He thinks of how you always come to his room with him after scenes, how he seeks you out at lunches and dinners, how you call him during off weekends, how he's seeking more, needing more.

Which is when he starts distancing himself, because he thinks he's essentially been asking for too much for too long.

Only... it doesn't go well. He struggles so much. And I also think it would hurt him even more to pull away from you than all the scenes with his old Dom at Ferrari.

Because now, now he's choosing this. He's choosing to move away from the one thing that has helped him.

You notice, of course, but you leave it at first because you know it's important to respect Sebastian's decisions. Sebastian has had his own decisions undermined for so long, and you don't want to do the same.

But you know something is very wrong once he tries to leave after a scene the same time lance does. Because he can't do that. You know he can't do that. He won't be able to function.

Maybe he drops? Goes fully into subdrop? You notice it the next day, from the way he refuses to meet your eyes, can't seem to sit still, can stay focused or calm.

And the moment you get close enough, he just throws himself into your arms and begs for forgiveness. Promising you that he'll never do that again, never be so ungrateful again.

I actually think you might need to punish him for this. Which I know is very counterintuitive because usually you know you can't punish Sebastian or else he'll panic.

But this time, this time you need him to know that he actually has done something wrong.

He didn't trust you. He tried to make decisions about what he needs himself. That isn't his job, that is your job, his job is to be your good boy and do whatever you tell him.

It's not harsh punishment.

You spank him ten times. Making him count each one and comforting him the entire him, promising him it all he forgiven when he reaches ten, that he can forgive himself too, that the two of you will move forward, that you know he'll never do something like this again.

#past d/s au #nsfw.#sub!sebastian #sv #gn!reader #🍋

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flowergirlmiwa · 1 year

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randomly telling you how I feel about various Nintendo 64 games

Super Mario 64: this game is everything. one of the most iconic, most important, and best games ever made and one of my personal favorites

Ocarina of Time: mmmmm oough what a loverly game uwuu my favorite Zelda game

Majora's Mask: definitely one of the best, most interesting and most daring games in its series

Mario Party 3: it's 2 but worse but makes you think it's 2 but better. I like a lot about the game, the item bonanza makes it unique from 2 for sure, the reverse mushroom is incredibly useful for clever shortcuts, and the mini games are good. Sadly every single board in the game is bad. MP2 is the better game if only because you won't have to use MP3 maps

Pokemon Snap: better than any Pokemon game after Gen 2

Every AKI wrestling game: I wont get too into it here but if you know you know (about their greatness)

Mega Man 64: I got this as a kid expecting Mega Man 8. anyway mega man legends is one of my favorite games now and I think they made this port for me specifically

kirby 64: slow/10

Super Smash Bros: this was my favorite game of all time between MVC2 being my favorite game and Sonic Adventure 2 being my favorite game. Now all I wish is this game had trophies, either way it's better than smash 4

Diddy Kong Racing: why is getting good locked behind happening to know to release gas before hitting a boost? Like I know you have to use an instruction manual to know what the fuck is happening in Kid Icarus but cmon

Hey You Pikachu: SLOW/10, even after you get free movement it's half walking and waiting simulator and half struggling with the mic designed to understand a 8 year olds voice

Pokemon Puzzle League: holy shit is that PUZZLE LEAGUE?? can we get some 1s in chat for puzzle league? Legend

F-Zero X: YOU LOST YOUR MACHINE. and my dad threw out my game box for this one. And That's Terrible.

Paper Mario: the best baby's first RPG ever made and my next favorite game after Sonic Adventure 2

Bamjo-Mamooie: until Jak and Daxter proved to be the true successor to SM64 this was probably the best game to directly follow and expand on SM64's collectathon aspects. I mean I'm taking SM64 every single day of the week but

Goldeneye: #1 N64 game I wish I had as a kid

#my post

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crystalelemental · 2 years

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Did it really have to be all 24 options at once, DeNA? I feel like this is a Dick Move. The last few times you did something like this, it was multiple different scouts so you could get a couple options. Now we have to pick just one? I don't like it. And somehow you didn't even include the SC alts, or the recent Summer alts. So there goes like every high-priority pick I had. Ugh. Anyway, with so many options, I’m sure plenty of you are wondering who’s worth it. Here’s my perspective:

Winter Rosa - Has some utility at 3/5 with Hail on entry and her trainer move giving a whole +5 total buffs, albeit to randomized stats. Her only consistent buff is attack, and she doesn't offer much besides this and Hail support. Anything below 3/5 is outright bad, and 3/5 is only useful for Summer Steven combos. Grid expansion when?

Winter Siebold - A lot of people dunk on the guy, but honestly, Scald's burn and Octazooka's accuracy debuff isn't terrible utility. Natural Hostile Environment is actually great for that burn rate. It's just that he's not that strong and his utility is a bit awkward and there's someone else who can burn reliably in this very pull that's better in like every way.

Winter Erika - Don't. All she does is heal, and she's not even that great at it. Sycamore is outright better than her as a free option.

Winter Skyla - There are better Flying damage dealers. She's not inherently bad, but Tri Attack isn't the best DPS, most multipliers are inconsistent given her setup, she can't reliably self-buff, and of course there's the issue with Flying Zone being unavailable due to her alt having it. 1/5 really doesn't offer anything either, so like...I can't recommend it.

Winter Leon - Finally, someone legitimately good at 1/5. Leon's got strong Ice damage, and a solid freeze chance by default on an AoE attack. The AoE doesn't even penalize his freeze chance because it's a passive skill. Winter Leon's fairly strong, and flexible in his setup options, but definitely needs support to make it come together. Still, a very solid 1/5 pick.

Winter Nessa: Not really useful until at least 2/5. Hail is okay utility, but very little uses it. 1/5 just doesn't offer enough to really stand out compared to Candice. And at 3/5...her sync nuke is still worse than Candice. Her DPS is better, and she can have a high flinch rate, which is her real niche. But there are tons of flinch bots in the game, so like...I don't think she's all that great.

New Year Lance - Hey kids, do you like HYPER BEAM? Do you like the CRIPPLING INABILITY TO BUFF? Then boy of boy, is LANCE DRAGONDICK your man! Good at 1/5 for the raw damage, but woefully dependent on team support, including both special attack/crit buffing, and Rain. If you don't have SS Kris, you cannot perform optimally with this guy due to lack of Flying Zone or Rain in every other comp.

New Year Lillie - Decent 1/5. Crit buffing is solid, and evasion buffing is fairly unique. Applying condition shield off her trainer move is also valuable for Gauntlet, as it stops things like Cresselia from ruining your life. Leech Life is okay damage for healing, but really wants the 3/5 for best performance. She also has Team Sync Regen, which is really nice if you're willing to EX her. Functional, but nothing groundbreaking, I would say.

New Year Volkner - A decent 1/5 pick, due to being some of the highest Electric-type damage in the game, and a special striker for the dreaded Electric-weak Aaron. But. If you got Archie this month, Archie's Thunder is stronger, and better off-type. Archie requires less setup or support. Archie's move can never miss under rain. EX Hau is capable if you need F2P, and we're getting two Pikachu for anniversary, at least one of which is confirmed to be about damage and is undoubtedly stronger. I'm just saying, there is a lot out right this second that's really good for Electric damage, and the guy who got massively struck by the on-type bat DeNA was swinging around in that era isn't my favorite pick here.

New Year Sabrina - Decent 1/5 pick. Sabrina offers some nice utility, like Endure on a healing move, Condition Shield to block status, and the coveted combination of special attack/crit buffing. Granted, the crits, as well as the special moves up next effects, are RNG based and improbable, but she can do it 1/5. The real issue is that everything legitimately nice about her as a unit is 3/5. That's when you get the MPR, the defenses and speed buffing potential, Recuperation, All Ramped Up. 1/5 Sabrina is fine, but she doesn't shine until 3/5.

Palentine's Dawn - Speaking entirely on her own merits, Dawn is one of, if not the best pick for a 1/5 acquisition. Her debuffs are fantastic, her buffs are solid and apply healing, and she's not a terrible tech nuker for Gauntlet in a pinch. But. Lucian exists. If you're looking for new utility, and you have Lucian? There is no need for Dawn. Lucian is outright better on Growl utility alone, but then has an absurd sync nuke and better self-buffing on top of it. Personally, I love debuffers and can't get enough, so I advocate for her still, but it's something to be aware of.

Palentine's Serena - Serena's got really interesting and unique utility that...isn't always what you need. She can buff speed, which is rare for Gauntlet where it's most needed, and can debuff speed to the tune of -2 AoE. That's really nice for Cakewalk sync nukers like...most of the common gachas. She even has AoE paralysis, which is pretty handy for Electric-weak Phoebe, and Paralysis is the best status to have in Gauntlet. Any damage utility only starts to matter at 2/5, but her general utility tools are, I think, fairly under-appreciated.

Palentine's Marnie - Steel Wish is the main draw most go for, but I think that undersells Growl utility, her debuffs giving a nice defensive debuff, and her Team Sharp Entry, the latter two of which activate twice thanks to Mega Evolution. She has a lot of solid utility 1/5. Damage is just low, speed is horrendous which isn't great for your other slow steel types, and special stages can and will break you.

Palentine's Bea - Bea sucks. Only sets Hail on entry, and all her useful tools are 3/5. She can kinda buff offenses but not crit, and has Potion I guess. There's a better Potion user with better buffs in this list, there are better offense buffers, Hail isn't super useful and she can only do it once. I do not respect Palentine's Bea, and demand a better Hail support.

Spring May - Spring May's damage is not good, and the amount of needed support is insane. Setup phase is slow and requires first sync, but even after that needs some accuracy or missing High Jump Kick will kill her. She really doesn't have anything particularly useful.

Spring Burgh - Legitimately good, I just don't like him. Defensive buffer that can cap crit and gives the rare accuracy. Can technically buff offenses but inconsistently. He's SS Blue, but can reliably cap crit 1/5 and buffs both offenses at the same time. So better SS Blue. Yes, I am making this argument.

Summer Steven - The other Ice damage guy. If given the choice, Leon should pretty much always be the pick. He's way stronger, and freeze is a strong effect. But I do like Steven resetting Hail every sync. It's a funny gimmick for Moltres. I don't think he's bad, just outclassed.

Summer Lyra - Bad. Damage too low, speed bad, can't really buff herself, needs both offenses for sync and move damage. At least she can hit sleep on sync, which is funny.

Summer Gloria - I don't respect this alt. Her only good option is the Water damage, which is fine, but do you really need Water damage? There's like a billion Water type damage dealers, and most are better self-setup units. Also, you’d be using Intelleon, and is that really what you want for yourself?

Summer Marnie - Great self-setup, solid damage, still just not that interesting to me. I can't say she's bad, and a lot of her good tools exist at 1/5. She's honestly one of the better picks. It’s just...if I, personally, we looking for Fairy damage, I’d go P!Serena, because I like utility being baked in. But Marnie’s objectively stronger, so...

Halloween Acerola - Bad. Damage is bad, MP limitations make it worse. She can confuse but not as well as Sidney, and Confuse isn't super useful. She's just not good.

Halloween Hilbert - Good damage, but Double Edge. 1/5 offers one (1) stack of Standfast, which will still get you killed pretty fast. 2/5 gets most good tools, but I do not love recoil strategies.

Halloween Caitlin - My beloved. She's really good. Desperately wants 2/5 to be virtually perfect, but isn't terrible 1/5. Buffs a ton of stats, has healing per sync for the team, and is unstoppable under the "permanent field effects" condition in CS. But...honestly does really want 2/5.

Halloween Morty - Not bad, actually. I appreciate status application, even if it’s Burn. The main thing is his 2/5, where he gets access to Overwhelm and Vigilance. While his damage needs 3/5 and is still not that impressive, those are interesting defensive tools for a guy who can buff his own defense to cap.

FINAL THOUGHTS Given that most pulls would be 1/5, the ones who work well 1/5 are: Winter Leon, NY!Volkner, P!Dawn, P!Serena, P!Marnie, and S!Marnie. All of these options either have enough power 1/5 to accomplish their main damaging role, or their primary utility is baked into their moveset and passives.

If you’re willing to candy to 2/5, H!Caitlin is, as always, my pick for the best. She’s an incredible buff support who gets virtually every tool she wants at that move level. Spring Burgh gets Vigilance, a Potion MPR, and basically becomes actually useful at 2/5, just like SS Blue. H!Hilbert also gets pretty much everything of value at 2/5 as well. W!Nessa becomes an option thanks to Hail MPR turning her into a Moltres counter, though she kinda wants 3/5 for the flinch rate. P!Serena gets her Inertia sync nuke so she gets better with this. H!Morty goes from a Burn bot to having Vigilance and Overwhelm 9, which could be useful for an odd sort of tank in Gauntlet.

The ones who become significantly changed with 3/5 are NY!Sabrina, NY!Lillie, and Palentine’s Bea. NY!Lillie has good tools 1/5, but 3/5 is when she gets to actually play as a respectable sustain tank, which is an entirely different unit in my eyes. You go from having some niche but fun utility, to actually being a threat. NY!Sabrina has literally all of her useful tools locked behind 3/5; if you don’t 3/5 her, the tools are okay, but significantly worse off. Palentine’s Bea gets access to Hail every sync, buffing her own defenses, and double Potion MPR, to actually have an identity she cannot establish at lower move levels.

Pretty much everyone else is a “recommended against.” But I will make some notes. NY!Lance is really good at any move level, if properly supported, but note that optimal support requires SS Kris to access needed Rain multipliers and Flying Zone simultaneously without being a bad comp. Summer Gloria is in a similar boat, not really having much in her grid to help damage output, but having decent enough base damage that all she needs is the significant support for offense buffing. Lastly, Winter Skyla isn’t entirely terrible, though she needs similar setup help to Gloria. Her issue of not having access to Flying Zone hurts, but isn’t a death sentence. But her damage is really low without Rising Tide, and her utility is either ridiculously inconsistent (Tri Attack status), or a dime a dozen (oooh, a 60% flinch rate, never seen that before).

My personal recommendation is either one of the optimal 1/5 picks, or a 3/5 pick. Caitlin and Burgh are solid 2/5 picks, but generally speaking, those two are at least solid 1/5, while the 3/5 ones are so life-changing that I think they’d take priority. If you’re looking for a new acquisition, play to what your roster needs in coverage. Ice, Fairy, and Electric feel like fairly unique offensive typings, so any of the damage dealers are good. P!Dawn has a powerful debuff set, if made somewhat redundant by Lucian, while Serena’s options are incredibly unique, if not always helpful. Marnie offers great utility for Steel teams, but often won’t contribute a ton beyond attack debuffs and Zone without higher move levels.

“Which one are you picking?” God, I don’t know. I didn’t ask for this to be so hard. I was hoping there’d be like two more of these after the next datamine and I could pick a couple out, with only minor conflict, but nope. Guess that’s not happening...

#pokemon masters

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itlivesproject · 2 years

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seeing all the absolutely MESSY love square potential for the ilitw crew in the redfieldmc route and grinning bc at this point in time everyone is basically at the same level as eo. i have a playthrough for EVERY ilitw LI in the redfieldmc route except for connor (i love him however i personally do not want to experience his nerve going down and potentially dying or worse bc of ilwmc pushing the noahmc agenda. living vicariously through other people's screenshots for that one 😳 also i am using that save option JUDICIOUSLY bc of this i am now on page SIXTY 💀) and i have a mental ranking of each one of them based the criteria of what the FUCK they're doing to bring mc back. noah unsurprisingly is number 1. ava was the sole second but then dan came in with the steel chair so NOW they're tied. lucas andy and stacy are all tied for third and im mentally poking them with a stick to do SOMETHING bc they WILL end up getting their bf/gf stolen at this rate. im manifesting a last minute big showing for them next chapter bc if they don't. oh my girl WOULD get their ass for not even doing the bare minimum (and in stacy's case. it's even worse. her BROTHER did more for her love than she did 💀 dan deserves to steal her girl fr with the amount of research he apparently did – that lucas BETTER have joined in on in his route i can't have my main man slacking like this 😭). i would make all of them have an endgame (which makes it three for each playthrough. one for the LI one for noah and one for dan. stem prepped me to categorize everything meticulously but good god. i would have over two hundred saves by the end of this — not even considering the abel/mc/lincoln hoe route, the abelmc matthiasmc route that would be SO messy i have no idea why no one is mentioning the betrayal in this case bc abel ADORES this man and he goes in like a dilf and goes for the person they're falling for like hello? 😬 and the lincolnmc matthiasmc route that would simply be the definition of explosive. the clean routes i have for each LI are already part of the first sets i started bc i am in love with them but damn. i need an excel chart to keep up 💀) but their rankings would be the basis of whether or not i would go full throttle on the angst for their secondary route before i let them resolve things in a narratively satisfying manner (while ilbmc is simply living their best life and ilwmc also if she's not dodging the hoe allegations. ilitwmc poster child for why you should NEVER be so awesome that almost half ur friend group is in love with you at any given time 💀). mc choosing someone at the end of this unexpected ilitw bachelor would make my heart hurt for the other two losers but i KNOW i would be enjoying it the whole time alongside the main ilwmc romances. ilitw gang best friend group of all time i love them so much which is why i cannot help but put them in situations. this got absolutely lengthy and actually longer than some of my assignment answers but i wanted to cover all my bases so sorry for the one who gets to read this wall of text i simply got so excited 😁 this story lives rent free in my mind and whatever happens i cant wait to see how it would turn out for everybody in the cast it's been an honor playing your game 🥰❣️

PS: when i saw the dan romance option the image of redfieldmc's LI kicking noah's ass while dan sneaked in with his steel chair and stolen mc right under their noses went to mind 😭 the other two were all pikachu face it was hysterical. i cant WAIT for the absolute mess redfieldmc's love life is going to be. their staying power (which is especially miraculous given yt fmc's looks. asian fmc face ure pretty and my baby girl but black fmc outpaces you in the face card department) is UNMATCHED

LMFAOOOOOO this is so 😭😭😭 first of all PAGE 60 on SAVES???? u are so brave idk how you filter through all of that😭 also yeah the ilitw drama is very eh hem,,, dramatic!!?!! but i’m glad ur enjoying it!!! and im sure you’ll like the next chapter very much ! for reasons i will not say hehe 🤭

(ps im glad u see my vision🤭🖤)

#mod sugar #ask #anon

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ultraericthered · 2 years

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Pokemon English Voice Compare/Rank, Professors

In which I rank the English dub voice actors of Pokemon characters from strongest to weakest, and sometimes throw in my 2 cents of who I think would be solid casting choices. This one is for professors.

PROFESSOR OAK: 1. Stan Hart - Original voice of Professor Oak in the main anime. Stan provided Oak with this Frank Morgan-esque voice that after only a little while of hearing it is burned into your brain as THE voice of Professor Oak. It was as perfectly fitting a voice for the character as you could ask for, and Stan Hart’s still got it down so well that he could very well play a good Professor Oak in live action too! 2. Joe J. Thomas - Voice of Professor Oak in Pokemon Masters. Let it be said now that no other VA for Oak could feel as right for the part as Stan Hart did, but Joe’s firm, eccentric, very Tom Kenny sounding voice for him in this game is probably the next best that we could get.

3. Mick Wingert - Voice of Professor Oak in the main anime taking over from James Carter Cathcart, but thus far only for two episodes at the very end of Pokemon Journeys. Boy do I ever wish Mick had been available for Oak sooner, as him doing a slightly deeper take on his Heimerdinger voice for the old professor is infinitely better than Cathcart’s beyond grating portrayal. More of him in later stuff please? 4. Kyle Hebert - Voice of Professor Oak in Pokemon Origins. This is such solid casting, as Kyle could pull off a decent Professor Oak (something closer to his Pryce voice shows that). But for whatever reason, what he ended up going with sounds incredibly boring, not old enough, and just not quite fitting. What a disappointment! 5. Keith Silverstein - Voice of Professor Oak in Pokemon Evolutions. I’ll take Kyle Hebert’s Oak over this one, though! Something about Keith’s very distinctly low and raspy voice coming out of Oak’s mouth just feels wrong. He sounds like an old mad scientist like Charon! 6. Ben Diskin - Voice of Professor Oak in the Two Professors cross-promotion for Let’s Go, Pikachu and Eevee! and Pokemon Go! OK, at least Keith sounded somewhat like an old man! Ben is woefully miscast here, sounding like a nasally, dweeby older Nigel Uno. 7. James Carter Cathcart - Voice of Professor Oak in the main anime taking over from Stan Hart, and how sad is it that the worst Oak took over from the best Oak? At first he sounded alright, and having the same VA as Gary voicing him actually made sense. But by late into Diamond & Pearl, he began to sound extremely forced, whiny, and unbearably grating to listen to, and he only kept getting worse! By Black & White, Stan Hart was available again. We really needed him back as Oak, but TPCI stupidly didn’t take that opportunity.

PROFESSOR SYCAMORE: 1. Jake Paque - Voice of Professor Sycamore in the main anime. Smooth, handsome, elegant but definitely masculine. He does it all. 2. Austin Lee Matthews - Voice of Professor Sycamore in Pokemon Evolutions. A very bit part, but he puts in a good effort all the same. 3. Ben Lepley - Voice of Professor Sycamore in Pokemon Masters EX. I can’t pinpoint exactly what it is about this performance that bothers me, but there’s this effete tone to it and it just bugs the crap out of me ‘cause we know Ben could’ve done better at making the character sound more dapper and gentlemanly like he should sound.

PROFESSOR KUKUI: 1. Alejandro Saab - Voice of Professor Kukui in Pokemon Masters EX. He embodies the part perfectly, even making a light distinction between his normal Kukui voice and his Masked Royal voice. 2. Abe Goldfarm - Voice of Professor Kukui in the main anime. God, this vocal performance was as flat and painfully generic as it gets. Even in Journeys when he finally put some effort into the acting, it was far too late to fix the unfitting voice that he’s stuck with.

PROFESSOR SONIA: 1. Morgan Laurre Garrett - Voice of Sonia in Pokemon Masters EX. The tone, the accent, the line delivery, it’s all exactly what’s needed. 2. Allegra Clark - Voice of Sonia in Pokemon: Twilight Wings. Despite the lack of an accent, Allegra does great at doing something distinct from her Cynthia voice and making Sonia sound age appropriate and like the precious nerd that she is. 3. Britanny Cox - Voice of Sonia in the main anime. She does alright in Sonia’s more low-key and serious moments, but her regular voice for her just doesn’t fit very well. She sounds like a flighty teenage girl, which might suit Lisia but not Sonia! FANCAST OPTION - Abby Trott. Morgan Laurre’s voice for Sonia sounds eerily like a voice that Abby could do, accent and everything!

#Pokemon #professors #voice acting #comparison #opinion

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binarystarduet · 5 months

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— Happy Holidays, Sunny!! @voxman / @ladboxman

I miss talking to you!! But my love has never once wavered, everything I want to tell you is under the cut! I love you!

⟡ Like I said, I miss you!! I know you've been crazy busy lately though. And that sucks! I hope you're doing alright, my dms are always open! man, I wish it was 2020 again and we all were silly and able to talk every day and edit together and things didn't feel so dark and gloomy. You have always been someone I looked up to, especially when it comes to being so unapologetically you and so honest with others. You're so effortlessly funny, you speak your mind and it's always either super profound or extremely unserious in the best ways imaginable. You and Kas, as well as your systems, have always been like family to me. Being in this friend group has changed me, and it truly has felt like home for years. It's because of you, your kindness and welcoming presence towards both me and Diana. I know I can be a bit awkward and frustrating but you've always been so patient. Thank you for that... I'm proud of you by the way, for every step you've taken these last few years, even if you don't feel like it's much! You're such a wonderful person and I'm so happy to have met you. I hope we can hang out and talk again sometime soon 🩵

the sources we share are few and far between but that's okay, I made it work! I apologize in advance that my edits this year seem a little repetitive even if they're different and new, my theme was "characters i knew you as in another lifetime"! Radicles, my man, my guy. you silly little thing you. You were my best friend in the entire world, my other half for better or for worse, you were family to me and someone who knew me sometimes better than I even knew myself. I was such a hardass sometimes even if it was all for fun, but you were always so patient. Thanks for the laughs and the good times. love, Enid. Kaito, it's Maki. No brainer there, huh? When Kaede passed, you were there. You were always there. Your smile was... infectious, believe it or not. At first it annoyed me, but by the end I missed it more than anything, alongside hers. Thank you for everything, in life and in death, and for being my friend. both then, and now. Leon, you're so cool! I knew you as Ash, and as Gloria, and both parts of me think you were a spectacular champion no matter what you did! I beat you as one, lost as another, and I think that is so fun. I looked up to you a lot as Gloria. You made Raihan very happy too, he was like a brother to me. and I guess in a way you were too. Let's battle again in the next life, then! Charizard, buddy, I'm so proud of you and how far you've come! You were always so stubborn, haha, but I knew you had it in you! You just wanted things to happen your way, and I can respect that. You meant the world to me and Pikachu, and I'm so glad you were my friend. Thank you for being in my life then, and for being in my life again now! I hope there are more adventures waiting for us in the future... ♡

you're not just some guy, you're our just some guy ⟡ Mao 🩵

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spit-out-the-dust · 7 months

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Chapter one

I am not entirely sure how to start a book. Should I open it with “the day I was sexually assaulted by my brother” or should I start with what’s worse than being sexually abused by your dad as a kid, oh hey maybe it’s when your brother does it too almost eighteen years later.

Or maybe I should start from the first traumatic memory I ever experienced or remember experiencing, looking through the neighbors glass door, the kid who always ran funny with his arms behind his back and wanted to play Pokémon — as the red and blue lights parked by my mailbox across the street for what seemed like hours as you said I choose you pikachu.

Im not entirely sure yet where to start but I think I know what my message is. Abuse and trauma I believe are in every family. I’ve not fully met anyone without any trauma or family chaos. I guess the man I finally ended up giving my heart to at the age of 33 can count as what it might look like to grow up healthy but he’s a rarity and I’m not writing about his life.

Abuse and trauma may define you but it doesn’t have to destroy you. I guess that’s my point. Sounds like a pretty good point don’t you think? Everything lies within a choice and walking through each chapter that’s what I want for people. To see that you can choose for yourself and your kids and your future family, how you want to live your life even if you’ve completely been through hell. Or maybe you can just read this book and be thankful your life and your family isn’t as fucked up. I mean it’s completely your call on what road you wanna drive down

Or you can be like my sister who will always turn to drugs and alcohol to numb out the pain or pretend she has her life together on the outside and social media while she’s slowly contemplating dying on the inside.

Or you can be a monster like my brother, and turn around and afflict damage that was done to you on others. I guess I shouldn’t be angry with him considering everything we went through, but here we are— chapter one.

#writing #mental health #chapter one #ramblings #child sex abuse #sex abuse #trauma

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microphone-invasion · 1 year

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Chapter 9: The Final Battle pt.5

Garcello: I’ll take a Pikachu!

Chad: I call dibs on Charizard!

Soul Keith: BUT I ALREADY CAUGHT HIM!

Chad: Sorry bud! NOT! Once you call dibs, you can’t get it.

Soul Keith: Too bad. -Catches his charizard back along with everything elts-

Chad: DUDE- I DIDN’T OPEN MY POKÉBALL-

Soul Keith: I do not care.

Moisty: Can I get Lucario?

Edison: Huh, Moisty, you just called the name of an old friend of mine.

Moisty: Lucario used to be your friend?

Edison: Yep, in fact, he’s right here.

Narrator: Then, Lucario appeared in front of Edison.

Lucario: Hey Edison! Who’s this?

Soul Keith: Yo, Keith! You okay? You've been quiet for a while.

Garcello: He’s frozen. Time stops, REMEMBER?

Soul Keith: I’ll get him back.

Narrator: Then, Soul Keith Disappears and reappears with Keith.

Lucario: Edison, who are these?

Soul Keith: BOOM.

Edison: Well Lucario, these people are from the universe that they don’t know me.

Lucario: So these are the people you talked about… Well Edison, what brings you here?

Edison: You see, it’s a long story, there’s a universe that’s in trouble by the Imitator.

Lucario: Wait… Hold on, THE IMITATOR'S BACK!?

Edison: Heh, yeah….

Chad: Time unfroze?

Lucario: Yes. Why?

Edison: Oh god….

Lucario: What?

Edison: Imitators unfrozen and about to conquer a universe, no big deal.

Lucario: Oh no.

Edison: Don’t worry, I can stop time there even though I’m here, only for 6 hours.

Narrator: Then time froze on the FNF universe for 6 hours.

Garcello: Hi Lucario!

Lucario: Who’s this?

Edison: That’s Garcello, Keith’s dad.

Lucario: Garcello, huh? He seems like a nice man.

Edison: Yep, he is, and we need help to defeat the Imitator, so here’s a brief introduction: Chad, Moisty, Garcello, Soul Keith, and Keith.

Lucario: Who the heck is Moisty? Although, it kinda sounds familiar.

Edison: That inkling over there who’s disguised as a human who’s actually a demon.

Moisty: Hallo!

Lucario: She’s a demon. No way.

Edison: Just, believe everything I say, because none of this will make sense.

Moisty: I can reveal it if you want me to, Lucario!

Lucario: Sure. Go ahead. I mean- I have nothing better to do.

Narrator: Then Moisty revealed her hidden self and Lucario is not surprised.

Lucario: Huh. Interesting. I never met a demon before.

Edison: Yep, I've seen plenty of worse demons before.

Lucario: That’s because you went to other universes before. So NOW, everyone knows you.

Edison: Heh, that’s how things go.

Chad: LUCE! How’s it going, man?

Lucario: OH-! Hello, Chad. I’m doing fine, what about you?

Chad: Doin’ GREAT! I feel energetic for some reason.

Lucario: And what’s the reason?

Chad: I dunno.

Garcello: How long have you two known each other for?

Edison: Well, from this paper I’m holding, it’s more than 11 years.

Lucario: Still breakin’ the 4th wall?

Chad: Here we go again…

Taki: -GASP- POKÉMON?

Lucario: Do I know you?

Edison: That is Taki, the community treated her as a recolored version of Sarvente from FNF.

Lucario: That universe?

Edison: Yep.

Taki: My outfit came out WAY before Sarvente’s did! And I am NOT a recolored version of Sarv!

Edison: I know, the community called you that. Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta help, I can give them Aura, and you can teach them The Power Of Aura. We need it to help us.

Lucario: I’ll help and I will come along too.

Edison: Ok then. The more people we get, the better chances of us winning.

Narrator: Then Edison gave the group Aura.

Keith: LET’S DO THIS THANG!

Narrator: 3 hours later.

Edison: You guys now mastered The Power Of Aura, now let’s go… Wait, let's do something cool, combining Kamehameha with the Aura Beam.

Chad: What would that look like?

Edison: I don’t know, but let’s find out. Garcello, you’ll shoot it.

Garcello: Okay…?

Narrator: Then Garcello shot a VERY big beam that almost destroyed 50 billion universes! But Edison shielded it before it did any harm.

Edison: Note to self, never do it again.

Garcello: But- You TOLD me, specifically, to shoot it!

Edison: I was testing it, to see what it will do, and now I realize that it was a dumb deiscion.

Garcello: Stay focused on my power next time, ok?

Edison: Alright then, now, who’s ready to give the Imitator a big BAD TIME!

Narrator: Then they got teleported back to the FNF universe; bringing Lucario along in the battle.

Lucario: This place is very unfamiliar. Why was I brung here?

Edison: You’re for the fight, you know yourself very well, you won’t stand to a fight.

Keith: -pulls out a mic and screams into it- HYAAAAAAA–

Edison: -covers Lucario's ears-

Lucario: Why did you do that?

Edison: Keith made a loud noise that will break your eardrums.

Lucario: Ok?

Narrator: Then Black, Tomongus, Taki, Tea, Lucy, and the others also screamed into a mic.

Soul Keith: -Plays Through The Fire And Flames on electric guitar- STILL GOT IT! I DIDN'T THINK I COULD DO THE FASTEST SONG IN THE WORLD BUT, IT LOOKS LIKE I CAN!

Lucario: The fastest song in the world?

Soul Keith: YEP!

Lucario: Wow. I’m not impressed or surprised.

Soul Keith: JUST BATTLE! THE SONG WON'T LAST LONG!

Lucario: Okay?

Narrator: After a long battle, everyone was tired. EXCEPT Keith.

The Imitator: Seems like you’re still alive, huh?

Keith: Yep! Never been so energetic before! I feel like I can do ANYTHING!

Soul Keith: ME? I’VE BEEN DEAD! FOR 19 YEARS!

Keith: He wasn’t talking to you, other me. Plus, you don’t have to scream. It hurts my ears…

Soul Keith: SOUL KEITH! JUST CALL ME THAT!

Narrator: Then Keith grabbed Soul Keith by his chest.

Keith: Alright, fine. Just don’t ruin this moment…

Soul Keith: Fine. Besides, I am you.

Narrator: Keith had let go of his soul self. And then he ran towards the Imitator, slapped him with his mic and finished him off with one of Keith’s special moves.

Soul Keith: Nice.

The Imitator: Bruh, that was like– not even a scratch.

Lucario: I got something for you, Imitator.

The Imitator: Oh, what will you do, blue do–

Narrator: Just then, a blue beam shot the Imitator, injuring him to 40%.

Keith: You’re a lifesaver… Uh– What’s your name?

Edison: That’s Lucario, 1 of my friends.

Lucario: Sup’.

Edison: But, we got a battle to finish.

Keith: Alright! But, I’m gonna need help from you, Lucario.

Lucario: No problemo.

Edison: He’s weakened. This is our chance. Everyone, do everything you can!

Lucario: Alrighty then. Hey Imitator!

#Microphone Invasion #Book 1 #writing from the back porch #fnf au #friday night funkin au #fnf garcello #ᶠʳᶤᵉᶰᵈˡʸ ᶰᵉᶤᵍʰᵇᵒʳʰᵒᵒᵈ ᵖᵒʳᵖᵒᶤˢᵉ

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luvnami · 3 years

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𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 - wahh it’s here! can’t believe my brainrot of osamu teaching a cooking class turned into this long fic lol... i hope you enjoy it!! it was fun crafting the story with my beta readers and i put a lot of effort into it!!! itadakimasu <3

𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 - @forgetou @amjustagirl (muacks 2x) + tq to everyone who helped me with the banner!!

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 - you’re suna’s younger sibling, food, heartbreak, angst but happy ending, mentions of stabbing (joke), kita dances to ‘ice cream’ by selena gomez and blackpink, mentions of alcohol, mentions of blood (brief), suna beats (redacted) up

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 - miya osamu x gn!reader

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 - you fall in love with miya osamu once more, but you’re afraid of getting hurt again.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 - 5535

𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 | 𝐤𝐨-𝐟𝐢

1. Cook the rice according to your rice cooker, then transfer the cooked rice to a separate bowl to cool it down.

“What ya want t’do is scorch the soy sauce.”

The class presses themselves against Osamu’s workbench as they scribble down notes on their recipe printouts. Their lips purse to ooh and aah at his cooking skills, though you’re pretty sure that they’re more interested in how his biceps flex when he flips the wok with a trained flick of the wrist.

You stand at the very edge of the group. It’s better than getting close with a group of hungry housewives, really. If grocery store and department mall sales have ever told you anything, it’s to never get in the way of what a seasoned housewife wants. Unfortunately for you, you haven’t learnt the way of being a homemaker just yet.

You’re unemployed, right in the middle of a month and a half-ish long transfer between jobs. You currently stay at your brother Suna’s place — which is really just an apartment filled with dirty laundry overflowing from its seams.

Turns out Suna himself is a bit of a gossip. He told Kita who told Atsumu who told Osamu that you’re stuck at his place 24/7 with no friends or entertainment in the lovely city of Nagano. It’s just mountains and trees as far as the eye can see all around — and there’s only so many hikes you can take each week.

“Why don’t you take a cookin’ class?”

“Cookin’?” Your face screwed up in confusion. “ What for?”

“So that you can actually pull your weight around the house and make me something to eat.”

You chucked a pillow at his head and began to list all the things you did while staying at his apartment. Laundry, cleaning the floor, doing grocery shopping (even if it was only instant noodles and snacks), finding his disgustingly sweaty socks under the sofa and many other important chores, thank you very much.

Besides, you weren’t as eager when you saw who was the one that would be holding the classes. With his picture plastered across the front of a pamphlet, your heart dropped into the pit of your stomach. Years of chasing his dreams and training in a kitchen had done Osamu wonders.

You had half a mind to smack Suna in the head with the yellow, glossy paper, but instead you quietly tucked it into a corner of the guest room to look at later. You were sure Suna hadn’t forgotten your history with Osamu just yet — but perhaps he assumed that enough time had passed to heal your wounds.

Either way, there’s no going back now. That’s how you ended up at Osamu’s ‘Cooking class for homemakers — you can do it too!’, except you aren’t a homemaker. You shift your weight from one foot to the other as the sound of sizzling soy sauce fills the air. Osamu pauses for a while before beginning to mix the rice with the sauce, wielding his spatula and wok expertly like weapons.

“Miya-san, you’re amazing!” someone gushes.

He lets out a bashful laugh. “This is nothing. I’m sure everyone will be able to do this by the end of class today!”

You wonder if he’s ever considered being a teacher. The demonstration on how to make shrimp fried rice is soon over and everyone returns to their benches, eager to try out the recipe. You are no different. Scurrying to your bench at the very back of the classroom, you exchange glances between the printed recipe handout and your tray of ingredients.

“Need any help?”

Osamu’s voice and looming presence makes you jump.

“Woah! Careful there,” he chuckles, his fingers gently prying a knife out of your hands.

Unconsciously, you had raised it in shock when Osamu snuck up on you. The knife now lays safely on the tabletop and you feel the eyes of the entire class boring into you.

“Sorry, Miya-san. I didn’t see you,” you apologise meekly.

“Don’t worry about it, I shouldn't have scared ya like that. And no need for the formalities! You’re my friend’s sister, afta’ all.”

Oh goodness. You half expect the class to pick up their pots and pans and run at you right this moment. You swallow back the half hearted ‘Osamu-san’ that rises in your throat. Your heart trembles in your chest and for a second, the silence that weighs heavily between the both of you turns awkward.

“Miya-san! Could you help me with this please?”

You’ve never been so glad to hear Tachibana’s sickly shrill voice before. Osamu is quick to wave goodbye to you before hurrying over to her bench, a smile still on his face. You breathe a sigh of relief.

You make a mental note to tell Suna that Osamu should just stick to placating those housewives and leave you the hell alone. The last thing you want is to have blackmail spread around the neighbourhood by these gossipy housewives, or worse, have their daughters hunt you down and chop you up into pieces.

Whatever. You’re just here to learn how to make shrimp fried rice and then go home to your annoying older brother. Besides, it’s not like you’ll be here for long. Miya Osamu just happens to be the local heartthrob, the handsome and eligible bachelor chased by anyone single and ready to mingle. You have absolutely nothing to do with someone so popular and good-looking. And for goodness sake, he’s your brother’s high school friend and your… Well, you know.

Your face burns and you pick up the knife again, grip tightening on its handle. You begin chopping at the onions with renewed determination.

(Later on, when you bring back a tupperware of fried rice for Suna, he looks you in the eye and asks “Shrimp fried this rice?”.

You shoot him a glare.

“I fried this rice.”)

2. Prepare all the fillings that you are going to use and set aside, such as pickled plums or tuna mayo. Prepare your seaweed sheets.

What you don’t expect is for Miya Osamu to show up at your doorstep the next day with boxes of food, cartons of drinks and a very noisy brother of his in tow.

“Rin, where can I leave the drinks?” Osamu yells.

“Rin, can I play your PS5?” Atsumu shouts.

You think that they are very different, the Miya twins. Suna takes a minute to finish putting on some clothes (you had answered the door, thankfully. No one wants to see Suna Rintarou in Pikachu boxers) before bursting out of his room.

He’s quick to smack Atsumu’s ‘dirty little setter hands’ away from his precious Playstation, directing Osamu to what constitutes the apartment’s kitchen — a second-hand fridge and the building-installed gas stove that works only if you hit it hard enough. You’re surprised that neither you or Suna haven't died of a house fire or gas poisoning by now.

It doesn’t take long for the other Inarizaki alumni to arrive at Suna’s apartment in a series of doorbell rings. Kita even brings along a large bottle of sake, to which everyone cheers loudly. You don’t understand why they had chosen Suna’s place to have a reunion party. Seriously, wouldn't Onigiri Miya or some other izakaya have been a better choice?

However, there’s free flow of drinks and lots of yummy snacks, so you decide to let the noise wash over you and stand by the food table to pick at the trays of pizza, fried chicken and other finger food. Aran even offers you a drink, smiling sweetly before going off to wrangle Atsumu from trying to initiate a beer chugging competition. Some things just never change, you suppose.

“Having fun?”

You jump and nearly drop the plate of food that you hold.

“You have a horrible habit of scaring people, Miya- Osamu.”

His first name comes out awkward, tumbling off of your tongue as you use a pair of chopsticks to carefully pile back some mentaiko mayonnaise onto a slice of tamagoyaki. Osamu settles into the crook of the kitchen counter next to you with a playful grin on his face.

“Do I really?”

“Don’t forget that the first time you did that, someone nearly got stabbed.”

You pop the tamagoyaki into your mouth. It’s delicious — the egg’s sweetness balances out the salty sauce. You wonder if there’s enough left on the tray for seconds.

“How’s the reunion going?” you ask nonchalantly, and shuffle a few centimetres away from him.

You hope Osamu doesn’t notice that. He does, however, but chooses not to comment on it. He brings up a hand to scratch at his neck, his shoulders slumping ever so slightly. He’s close enough for you to get a whiff of whatever cologne he’s wearing. Your head spins for a second.

“Oh, none of us have gotten drunk just yet. I’m pretty sure we’ll be playing beer pong or something later on.”

You steel yourself against the urge to look at what Osamu is wearing. Don’t look, don’t look, definitely don’t look. Miya Osamu is, has been, a dangerous man to fall in love with. You can’t afford to-

Perhaps gouging your eyes out would have been a better choice in theory. Even a glance from where you stand beside him is enough to see that not only is he wearing a tight, black T-shirt, Osamu also has a pair of sweatpants on. Is it a sin to wear sweatpants? Probably so, especially with the way it makes your throat run dry.

“Beer pong, huh?” You try your best to mumble somewhat nonchalantly. “Who won the last time?”

“Kita.”

“Kita?!” you gasp.

Even that’s enough to make you forget about Osamu and his stupid (and very sexy) sweatpants.

“Yeah, right? That was the first time he participated. All of us got left drunk in the street, so we decided to do it at someone’s place this year.”

You let out a soft laugh at the thought of a bunch of grown men piled over each other on the road. You don’t particularly like the thought of cleaning up after them tonight, though.

The lack of words between you and Osamu descends into snorts of laughter that trickle in from the tiny living room. Aran throws his head back, drink nearly spilling out of his cup. Ginjima laughs so loud you see Omiomi cover his ears and Suna holds his phone up, filming every second of Atsumu’s defeat.

Osamu opens his mouth as if to ask you something.

“C’mon! Yer killin’ me, Kita-san!” Atsumu yells, socked feet and waving arms trying to match the onscreen character’s movements.

Kita, on the other hand, is scoring perfect marks without as much effort wasted. You giggle to yourself as he moves his hips, shaking them here and there. A small smile quirks his lips upwards as he finishes with a flawless ending move on ‘Ice Cream’, the Just Dance characters fading into oblivion on the screen. Atsumu crumbles to the floor in defeat.

Osamu’s lips form a straight line as he watches you laugh along, raising a hand to cover your mouth. He curses Atsumu’s birth and swallows back his embarrassment.

“Did ya see that, Osamu? Oh- Kita-san is so good at everything!” you gush.

“Atsumu just sucks.”

When you laugh, Osamu thinks something in his chest lurches. Regret makes his head go foggy and leaves a sour taste in his mouth.

3. Place cling wrap over a rice bowl. Place some of the cooked rice over the centre of the cling wrap and make a well.

“No way ya got a love letter!” Atsumu yelled.

“Ya get yer fair share. We share t’same face, why shouldn’t I get some?” Osamu retorted, rolling his eyes.

Suna watched as the twins began to gripe and argue about who was the better looking sibling again. Nothing unusual, really, given how this occurred every odd day of the week.

“S’gotta be a prank. No way someone likes a loser like you,” Suna mused.

In retaliation, Osamu threw him a stink eye. “You two are just jealous,” he sniffed.

The letter had been written on pretty pink paper, all hearts and cute handwriting as his secret admirer asked him to meet them on the roof after school. Not that Osamu wasn’t affected by it, of course. It always rubbed his ego the right way to know that someone preferred him over Atsumu. Though, it wasn’t like he was interested in anyone then. It only took a second before Osamu ripped the letter in half.

“Woah woah woah! Yer crazy! Whatcha gonna do if some pretty girl gave that to ya?”

Atsumu’s eyes widened in shock, almost reaching forward to grab the shreds of letter that Osamu had torn up.

“Does it matter? S’not like I’m interested in datin’ right now,” he replied.

“Seriously? What if she’s like, super duper hot!”

Osamu’s face screwed up. “Are ya a horndog?”

Just as Atsumu was about to shout at his dear brother again, you opened the door to their classroom and hurried in. You had a bento box in hand and a cute pout on your face as you placed it on Suna’s table.

“Rin! You forgot your bento at home again!”

“Oh.” Suna blinked. “Thanks.”

“Seriously, you gotta stop forgetting your things! I can’t be bringing them to you all the time-”

“Hey, Suna.” Atsumu perked up, referring to you. “Would ya go on a date with Samu or me? Me, right? Definitely me!”

Your face flushed with heat. “Huh? What are you talking about?”

“‘Samu got a love letter in his shoe locker this morning. Cliche, huh?” your brother said between bites of his lunch.

“Mm, yeah. Cliche,” you mumbled.

You looked around anxiously for any sign of the love letter. Was it in Osamu’s bag?

“Can ya believe he tore it up?” Atsumu laughed.

“What?”

Your heart felt like a stone in your chest as you froze, your blood running cold.

“Yeah! This dumbass doesn’t know how t’appreciate anythin’,” he replied, smacking Osamu on the back of his head.

His twin responded with a muffled growl as he continued to scarf down his absurdly large bento. You fiddled with the cuffs of your sleeves, staring down at your feet. You were quick to bid the third years goodbye as you fled their classroom as an inexplicable ache spread through your chest.

You didn’t focus on your classes for the rest of the day. The fact that Osamu had torn your love letter, written with all your heart and soul as you crumpled draft after draft last night, tipped you over the edge of your fantasies and had you plummeting straight into reality.

“Oi.”

You looked up from your feet, glancing up at Suna. The both of you were swapping your indoor shoes for outdoor ones, but you had absentmindedly stopped in the middle of slipping your right foot into a shoe. It was nearing the time where they closed the school gates, so there weren’t many students around save for the odd volleyball club member.

“What’re you doing? Put your shoes on properly,” he huffed.

“Sorry,” you said quietly, and slammed the locker door shut once you were done.

You walked a few feet ahead of Suna as you approached the school gate. Your head drooped with each step, tears beginning to mist your eyes. You willed yourself to hold it in till you got home, till you were in the safety of your bedroom to start sobbing your little heart out. Suna tugged on your wrist.

“Are you crying?” he questioned.

You shook your head quickly, rubbing your eyes with the back of your sleeve.

“Oi. Answer me.”

This time, his voice was a little softer, yet held a mixture of irritation and anger behind a crumbling wall of apathy. Who had been the one to make you cry?

“It’s nothin’,” you choked out. “Let’s just go home.”

You turned your face to the side as tears continued to roll down your cheeks, muffled cries turning into heartbroken sobs. Something inside of Suna’s head clicked.

“It’s Miya Osamu, isn’t it?”

You had to bite on your lower lip to stop it from trembling.

“That bastard tore up your letter, didn’t he?”

You gave Suna the tiniest of nods. He let go of your wrist and whipped around, eyebrows furrowed together. Not wanting to date was one thing, but treating your confession like dog shit was something else. Fortunately for him, the Miya twins were changing their shoes in the getabako.

“‘Samu!” Suna yelled.

The gray haired male looked up with a face of confusion.

“Suna? Whaddya want-” Osamu wasn’t able to say anything more as Suna’s fist collided with his face.

Atsumu jumped back with a yelp as the both of them crashed to the ground. Your hands flew to cover your mouth.

“Rin! Stop it!” you cried out.

You dashed over, tripping over your own feet as you tried to pull Suna away from Osamu as they traded blows. It took the work of you, Atsumu and Ginjima (who had been unlucky enough to pass by) to tear the two apart, and even then Osamu was still struggling in his brother’s arms to be let go.

“What t’hell, man!” he snarled.

Suna wiped his nose, glancing briefly at the crimson that stained his school uniform. The adrenaline was beginning to run low and pain began to settle into his fists and ribs. His shoulders heaved with each breath, and your hands clutched his shirt.

“Rin. No more, please,” you begged, pressing your forehead against his back. “No more.”

Suna hated the way your voice trembled as you spoke. He didn’t think it was fair for you to bear the burden of pain while Osamu got to walk away unscathed, leaving you broken in pieces. His fist curled up again.

“It’s not worth it, Rin.”

Suna took in a shaky, deep breath.

You were right.

Miya Osamu wasn’t worth it.

4. Put about 1tbsp of the filling of your choice on the centre of the rice and cover it with rice.

A week comes and goes after the annual Inarizaki reunion. You’re still finding sticky stains on the floor, as well as food wrappers tossed behind the sofa. Suna sends the group chat a video of you yelling at all of them while wielding a mop with so much fervour Aran asks if you broke it. Atsumu actually apologises and Osamu offers to come over and help clean up. The entire group chat flames him immediately.

As per last week, you walk into Osamu’s cooking class at 2p.m. on a Wednesday afternoon. It’s hot outside, droplets of perspiration rolling down your nape. The cool air-conditioning of the classroom is much appreciated and you don your apron behind the gaggle of housewives. You catch snippets of their conversation as they put their items in the cubbies provided.

“Tanaka-san, did you see the mushrooms that were on sale this Monday?”

“My son is attending this cram school this summer. Here’s the address!”

“My father-in-law keeps complaining about the heat…”

“Good afternoon, everyone.”

“Miya-san!”

Everyone perks up when Osamu walks through the door. They’re quick to surround him, asking how his day had been. You look tired, take this ginseng drink! It really revitalises your spirits! Did you get a girlfriend yet, Miya-san? My daughter is single, you know!

You watch as Osamu walks behind his bench, all smiles and “Is that so, Shigeru-san?”. Polite enough to please them, but not enough to make them think that he actually wants to go on a date with their 34 year-old daughter who’s a tired office worker looking out for potential husbands like a hawk. He lets out a heavy exhale, using his cap with the Onigiri Miya logo on it to fan himself.

“Hot today, isn’t it?” he chuckles.

You think that maybe he’s the one that’s making this summer so warm, especially with the way that his shirt clings to his figure and his flushed cheeks that make him look adorable.

Wait.

You do a double take. Ah, adorable. You must have meant that heart-print apron that Tanaka is wearing today. It is pretty cute, and you wonder if you should ask her where she got it from later on. Definitely not Osamu with his perfect smile that would make anyone’s heart skip a beat, and definitely not when it’s directed at you.

“Gather around everyone! We’re going to be making gyoza today!”

The demonstration goes as usual — Osamu impresses the housewives, they gasp and someone even touches his forearm and asks “How did you get so strong, Miya-san?”. Not that you care, of course. You certainly don’t. What you’re more concerned about is how Osamu manages to make wrapping the fragile gyoza seem so easy.

Your fingers pinch at the thick dough, eyebrows furrowed together. No matter what you do, your filling keeps spilling out of the wrapper and so you’ve opted to try out for a thicker piece this time. Not that it really matters — Suna will be the one suffering from food poisoning if it turns out bad, anyways.

“Ah, yer made it too thick,” Osamu says as he strolls over.

You tense up as he leans over your shoulder, peeking at the chubby gyoza in your hands. You pretend not be affected by how close he is and continue pinching the wings of the dumpling shut.

“They keep bursting,” you sniff.

“Maybe ya put t’much filling?” Osamu suggests. “Here, lemme show ya. Put tha’ one down and grab a new wrapper. Yeah, just like that.”

You stiffen as Osamu flours his hands and cradles your hands in his.

“Here ya go. That’s t’much, scoop out some more. That’s it. Now gently…”

Blood rushes to your face as you feel the warmth of his skin seep into yours, his hands rough from years of training and cooking. Scars adorn the tips of his thick fingers and knuckles. You suddenly feel the urge to gently trace them with your thumb, to ask him how he got each one of them.

Would he let you? Let you so close, that perhaps you would be the one to know every single thing about him?

“You did it!” Osamu says cheerfully.

He suddenly pulls away, making you plummet back to reality. A perfectly made gyoza sits in your hands.

“I’m looking forward to tasting your gyoza later on. Now keep trying!”

You’re left dumbfounded as Osamu walks away to help out the other housewives. They stammer and blush when they get too close, but he never holds their hands in his own, never smiles as gently as he does with you.

You place the gyoza on a pan and put the lid on with a little bit more force than what is necessary.

5. Wrap the cling wrap over the rice and squeeze and mould it into a triangle shape with your hands.

You try not to make contact with Osamu after that. Attending his cooking classes becomes a game of cat-and-mouse, where you try to tell him ‘I don’t need any help, Miya-san’ and watch him crawl away in defeat. In fact, you decide to skip the lesson on making hamburgs and instead spend the afternoon watching television.

After all, from what you’ve learnt in the past, Osamu is nothing more than trouble. You think it’s worth the sacrifice now to put some space between the both of you so that you don’t end up heartbroken a second time.

Though, you do feel a little bad. Just a little bit. One day when Suna’s out at training, you hear the doorbell ring and Osamu’s voice ring through the genkan. You hear his feet shuffle by the door and a heavy thump outside before he leaves. You only open the door when you hear his car pull out of the apartment building’s carpark, and find a packed bento lunch for you in front.

You try to pretend that the bunny cut apples and sakura shaped carrot slices don’t mean anything.

“Ah, Suna-san! Where were you last week?” Tachibana titters as you step into class for the final lesson.

“I wasn’t feeling very well,” you lie. “I think I caught a summer cold.”

“Oh dear, that sounds terrible!” the ladies chorus together.

You think they’re probably just glad that you didn’t get in the way of their beloved Miya-san. You tug your apron over your head, and ignore Osamu when he greets everyone. His eyes linger on you for a little too long during the demonstration — to the point that he actually burns the skin side of his salmon fillet.

Osamu skirts around your bench like a nervous puppy when the demonstration is over. You don’t seem particularly keen about talking to him, though the tips of your finger tremble when he finally plucks up the courage to stand next to you. It’s not close enough for your elbows to touch, but close enough that he can whisper to you without anyone else hearing him.

“Hey,” he begins, uncertain. His voice wavers slightly.

“Hey,” you reply, wary of what he might say.

“Are you okay?”

You take a moment to think, tipping the sake bottle carefully to measure out an exact tablespoon of it. He wonders when your hands have seemed so delicate, so small. He aches to hold them in his own again.

“I’m okay.”

“That’s good.”

It’s quiet, again. Just like that night in Suna’s apartment, with all the noise of the reunion going on around you, except this time it's the clanging of pans and utensils, paired with the chatter of many ladies.

“I was thinking…” Osamu stares down at your hands, turning the measuring spoon over so that sake splashes onto the hot pan with a sizzle. “Maybe we could get a drink together after this?”

You cover the pan and watch its surface cloud up with condensation. You hide your shaking hands by digging them into the pockets of your apron.

Osamu swallows. Perhaps he had been too direct with you; scared you off with how quickly he was advancing. Or did Suna tell you to be careful of him? That he didn’t want you falling in love with him a second time? There’s no lie about it, that Osamu had been a grade A asshole back in high school.

But he loves you now; has loved you since then. Would you be willing to give him a second chance?

“Osamu,” you breathe.

His shoulders relax slightly when you don’t call him by his last name.

“I don’t know what to do.”

Your voice comes out timid, scared. Osamu’s heart crumbles at the edges. He wonders if you would hate him if he reached out and took your hands in his once more. You’re both adults, perfectly capable of rational thinking if only your hearts hadn’t gotten in the way. Love hurts, they said. You want to agree.

“We can start it out slow,” Osamu suggests.

“I’m supposed to start my new job next month. I won't be in Nagano for much longer.”

“I’m opening a branch in Tokyo.”

“I’ll be busy settling down. We might not get to see each other often enough.”

“A little is better than nothin’.”

“You’re my brother’s friend.”

“Now, yer just picking at nothing, babe. Didn’t you have a crush on me back in high school, too? That didn’t stop ya, did it?”

Your heart wrestles with your brain, insisting on comfort and that love will always come in the form of someone that isn’t Miya Osamu. You’ll find someone, but will they be better? Will they send food to your doorstep, or send you stupid photos of dogs he saw on the street? Will they chase after you relentlessly for years, will they be Osamu?

A lump forms in your throat and you wonder if this, has been, is love. You tear your heart out from within you and let it cling to your sleeve, as pathetic and scared it is. You don’t mind if it hurts. To never hurt is to never have lived, to never have loved.

By this point, your eyes have misted up with tears and it hits you- You’re about to cry about your crush in the middle of a cooking class attended by middle-aged ladies. You’ve never been more embarrassed.

“Really?” you whisper, looking up at Osamu with glittering eyes.

He ignores the “Miya-san! I need your help!” that rings out in the background. He smiles gently.

“Yeah, really.”

A tear slips down your face. Osamu lets out a breathy chuckle as he swipes it away with his thumb, giving your shoulder a squeeze.

“We’ll talk properly after this, alright?”

You nod numbly. You watch as he hurries off to Shigeru, gasping when he sees how she had completely butchered her fillet. He turns back to you, trying to hold in a snigger.

You giggle.

Osamu thinks he wants to hear that laugh forever.

6. Remove the cling wrap and cover the bottom of the rice triangle with a nori sheet and set aside.

“One extra large bonito onigiri with spring onions!” you cry out from the counter.

Back in the kitchen, Osamu and another part-time worker scoop steaming rice out of large vats and use their hands to mould them into perfectly shaped triangles. A scoop of filling goes in and a strip of seaweed is wrapped hastily around the onigiri before it's sent to you to package. You place the onigiri carefully into a box and slip it into a paper bag with the shop’s logo on the front for a take-away order.

The shop is filled with customers even on a Wednesday afternoon. The clock shows 2p.m., past lunch time, yet you can see a queue that snakes out of the shop and down the alleyway.

Another long day ahead, you think to yourself.

“It’s our turn!” a little girl squeals as she takes the bag from you, opening it up to peer at the huge onigiri inside. “Mama! ‘giri!”

Her mother laughs and pats her head. “Don’t forget to say thank you, Haru.”

The girl turns to you, eyes sparkling. “‘Fank you, Miya-shan!”

A cheery grin almost splits your face in half. Miya-san. Four years on and it still makes your stomach flip whenever you hear that Osamu’s last name has become yours. It was an easy decision for the both of you to get married, really. You had loved each other for years and all you wanted to do in the end was to spend the rest of your lives together.

You quit your office job just before you got married to help Osamu out with the new Onigiri Miya branches. It took some getting used to, but the familiar customers and bright smiles that you see just by serving onigiri each day makes it worth it. It’s tough work, no doubt. But doing what you enjoy with the man you love is more rewarding than it ever could be.

Though, it’s not like your relationship has always been smooth sailing. There are days when you bicker over something stupid (like how you always forget to close the lid of the rice cooker), or when Osamu insists that he isn’t overworking himself (although his eyebags tell otherwise). But love’s a recipe with a few secret ingredients, and you’ve come to master it over the years.

“Come back soon!”

The shop is filled with the fragrant scent of freshly cooked rice and bonito flakes being stir-fried into furikake. Customers perch on tiny stools as they scarf down onigiri of different shapes and sizes, licking their fingers clean. A plush toy of Onigiri Miya’s mascot sits on the counter next to a potted plant that Atsumu bought (which is surprisingly still alive).

A photograph of the third Tokyo branch’s grand opening hangs on the wall. You and Osamu hold up a bouquet of flowers, smiling toothily at the camera, your wedding rings glinting in the sunlight.

“One medium onigiri with tuna mayo, coming right up!”

You jump as Osamu shouts out the order suddenly and you nearly drop the onigiri that he hands to you.

“Woah, careful there,” he chuckles, a hand ghosting the small of your back.

“You have ‘ta stop scaring me, ‘Samu,” you huff and roll your eyes playfully.

Osamu grins at you and the edges of his eyes crinkle up. You place the onigiri safely into its packaging and place it on the counter for a customer to collect, before turning back to plant a kiss on his cheek. Osamu’s face flushes pink and he hurries away, mumbling something about bonito flakes.

Your heart soars in your chest.

Yeah, it has been, will be, worth it.

7. Repeat the same steps as above to use the rest of the rice with other fillings that you prepared.

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