#a lot of that depth won’t be shown

[lolomidi]

The Price of Entertainment: An Episode-By-Episode Analysis of Alastor's Facade

I don’t think any character in Hazbin Hotel has been discussed as much as Alastor, and it’s a testament to how much the writers put in his character that the mystery of his intentions, past, and contract have been so debated on.

There are some takes I vehemently disagree with, but something a lot of people seem to have settled on is that Alastor is, behind his massive ego and cool-headed persona, insecure about his place in Hell after his long “sabbatical.” I want to do an episode-by-episode analysis of Alastor’s behavior and how Season 1 shifts our view of him from an unquestionably powerful Overlord to something with more depth, and while I won’t be speculating on who owns his soul and how he’ll break that contract in those post, I will take a guess at the future of his character in a narrative sense. I will also implicitly be addressing my issues with some of the conclusions others have made, or at least playing devil's advocate.

NOTE: I want to clarify that none of this is meant to depict Alastor as some poor woobie. He’s still awful. He’s in Hell for several reasons and being a serial killer is only one of them. Rather, I want to analyze what is shown to us about him, and how those story beats can be used to determine where he’ll end up by the finale of the series.

ALSO NOTE: I haven’t followed all of VivziePop’s comments outside of the show about the characters, and it’s possible that certain details have been changed between the release of the pilot and the show, so take any mentions of what hasn’t been explicitly depicted within the show with a grain of salt.

___

Part 1: Recap Analysis

This section will consist of commentary regarding Alastor's appearance and behavior in the given episodes, with retrospection based on new information given in later episodes if needed.

“Overture”: Alastor is pretty one-to-one with his depiction in the pilot in the first episode. He’s snarky, open about his sadism, but helpful if begrudgingly so. Interestingly, he’s able to put together a well-edited, if tonally awful, commercial, and probably could have done better if he weren’t intentionally being an ass about it. From the finale we know that he and Vox likely used to have a more magnanimous relationship, and it’s likely that he picked up some tools of the digital trade in that time despite or before being turned off completely by it.

“Radio Killed the Video Star”: Vox effectively plays heel for Alastor this episode as we continue that first impression of the Radio Demon. We spend a good time showing off the former’s power and how far his roots have spread throughout Hell’s society, only for Alastor to effortlessly trounce him and steal from his audience, despite being gone for so long and his position in Hell less stable. This indicates that Alastor does still have pull, but at the same time that his position in the hierarchy of Hell is being contested due to the length of his absence. He deals with it easily here, but we’ll see in subsequent episodes that things aren’t as smooth as they first seem.

“Scrambled Eggs”: In terms of the eggs, there’s not much to talk about. He begrudgingly accepts Vaggie’s request to get rid of them “humanely,” but brings them back to the hotel after they prove to be useful spies.

More importantly, we get our first small hint that Alastor’s ego can be bruised when Carmilla doesn’t humor him during the meeting between Overlords. Now, I actually disagree with a lot of the takes on this episode in that I think it indicates that at least some of Alastor’s views and need to prove himself as a powerful Overlord are the result of self-delusion. Yes, he does need to reestablish himself as a person not to be messed with after being gone for so long, but I think it isn’t as bad as some are making it out to be, which makes his behavior in later episodes more strange and excessive if anything.

Carmilla, who mind you is a busy and stressed woman trying to hide the fact that she’s successfully murdered an angel, hits his ego by not caring where he’s been (something he wouldn’t have revealed in the first place), but she also welcomes him back, which is more than you could say to Velvette and by extension the Vees. And minutes before that, Zestial, who’s probably the highest on their totem pole, does go out of his way to meet with Alastor and inquire about where he’s been. Alastor himself gets over the slight pretty quickly and has no issue contributing to the meeting. Overall, he isn’t necessarily terrifying other overlords, but he still has an established place with them and they do seem to get along well enough. He’s “part of the group” unlike the Vees, who are treated more like upstart outsiders.

I also want to point out that despite Zestial likely outranking Alastor in power, they seem to be alright with each other. Alastor is cordial and does not demonstrate a desire to antagonize him like he does Lucifer in the next episode. Speaking of which…

“Dad Beat Dad”: This episode gives us a lot to chew on and is the first major indicator that Alastor’s issues go beyond wanting to be the center of the room. From the very moment Lucifer walks into the hotel*, his eye is twitching and he is visibly pissed. Lucifer undermining him (notably contrasting Zestial, who is polite despite his power) doesn’t help and makes Alastor let loose his first swear in the entire show. Being the petty bitch he is, Alastor, knowing he can’t intimidate Lucifer in any way, immediately goes for his weak point–Charlie–and plays up the role of a caretaker for her and the hotel. It’s a low blow, but it also feels like a defense–he’s signaling to Lucifer that this is his hotel, that things are taken care of already, and that they do not need his assistance, even though they ultimately do in order to get a meeting with Heaven.

But then things get more complicated with the appearance of Mimzy, who, to the surprise of several characters due to his solitary nature, was friends with Alastor all the way back when they were alive, and she carries a load of implications with her. She’s the only crack so far at what a “human” Alastor is like–apparently he’s a heavyweight drinker, a good dancer, and most notably, in Mimzy’s words, a sweet man who "becomes a kitten" when he's drunk. This is a huge departure from the unflappable, egotistical Radio Demon we’ve known up to now, and I think it’s a purposeful choice that we’re hearing this information but not shown it like his early days in Hell just prior. It’s simultaneously left to the imagination but difficult to do so because it contrasts so heavily with everything that has been shown to us beforehand. Another thing is that Mimzy is sure that Alastor will clean up her mess–and apparently this isn’t the first time he has, if Husk is anything to go by. So many people seem to miss this, but Alastor, who hates being tied down or disrespected, has been allowing Mimzy to leech off of him, presumably due to their past friendship making him turn a blind eye.

Alastor is on edge for this entire episode and is already unusually snappy when Husk addresses Mimzy, and pushing the button that was his contract is what sends him over the edge. His temper exploding is a direct result of his feeling that his control over both the hotel (via Lucifer) and his personal life (via Husk’s “doubt” that he can handle everything and that his reputation is what it used to be, plus the reminder of his deal) is being taken away from him. Alastor’s threat to Husk, which seems to not be his usual behavior if Husk’s willingness to show concern and talk back in the first place is anything to go by, is an attempt to remind both of them that he holds the cards, that he’s a powerful Overlord that is not to be trifled with, and he explicitly says as much when he goes out to deal with what Mimzy’s dragged in.

It’s only after he lets his anger out on the mobsters and “proves himself” that he visibly calms down and makes the logical decision to tell Mimzy to leave with a serious attitude, and also doesn’t antagonize anyone for the rest of the episode. It seems like despite his fury earlier, he was listening to Husk, who’s rightfully smug about it. He’s even present when Charlie declares her desire to protect her people, and his smile seems just a tad bit more genuine.

*Note: it’s not impossible that Alastor has some sort of personal grudge against Lucifer which caused his hate-on-first-sight, depending on the circumstances of his disappearance and contract (i.e. if it’s with Lilith).

“Hello Rosie!”: As opposed to Dad Beat Dad, Hello Rosie is arguably where we see Alastor at his most in-his-element. He gives off a lot of conflicting vibes at the beginning, from mocking Charlie’s distress to, in a shockingly honest moment, lecturing her about the importance of a smile to portray strength, a card we’d only been shown due to comments outside of the show. He smugly holds his knowledge over Charlie’s head but is visibly impatient to have her make a blank check of a deal with him, solid enough to benefit him but vague enough so that Charlie won’t feel immediately threatened. He’s clearly been waiting for an opportunity like this since the events of the pilot.

After that, he puts back on his gentleman’s demeanor and introduces Charlie to Rosie, and from here on he’s arguably at his most comfortable in the entire show. He’s relaxed around Rosie and is actually willing to ask for her help (something I can’t see him doing with any other character), casually complains about Susan, is encouraging to and praises Charlie even behind her back, and most notably, gives her his radio cane unprompted. More on that later. He also mentioned wanting to guide Charlie to Rosie specifically, implying that he was being genuine about wanting to act as a mentor to her, though his intentions are probably self-beneficial.

“The Show Must Go On”: The finale is arguably the most revealing episode on what Alastor’s inner world is like, as we see him unmasked several times. For one, his private admission to Niffty, the closest thing he has to a friend within the hotel, that he’s enjoyed watching the other residents connect to each other. This is in direct opposition to his initial (stated) reason for helping the hotel in that he wanted to watch them all fail, and yet he seems content with his initial assumptions being proven wrong. There’s no malice or sarcasm in this moment, he’s relaxed and talking to someone he relatively trusts.

And so he goes into the battle swinging and confident. Then, of course, Adam.

I want to bring up something before we keep going. Yes, fighting Adam without angelic weaponry was a needless risk. Yes, Alastor fell victim to the very sloppiness and arrogance he accused Adam of, and it’s thematically appropriate that he was the only one to lose his battle in that he was fighting for his own ego more than “love.” But also, people seem to forget that Alastor is the only demon in the entire show with a precedent for permakilling without an explicit reliance on angelic weaponry, as the Overlords he toppled in his original rampage seem to have never returned. He’s egotistical, but not stupid. He may have genuinely believed that he had the means to kill Adam himself but didn’t get the chance/couldn’t due to his contract or absence possibly weakening him. But that's speculation for another day.

So, he has to retreat before Adam double-taps his ass and is too injured to return until after the extermination. He makes a grand exit, but not before grabbing the broken pieces of his radio cane. The one he allowed Charlie to use just an episode prior, and presumably is a conduit for his powers, and he grabs it while a murderous angel is inches away from wiping him off the face of Hell.

His portion of “Finale” is the first time we see him singing alone and not playing off someone in a duet. It’s obvious that he’s trying to keep his composure, still speaking to himself in his artificial transatlantic accent (which we now know for a fact he doesn't need to do, seeing as he finally broke character when Adam wrecked his cane) and reassuring himself that he’ll come out on top next time. But here his front shatters and we openly see what the show has been hinting he is for the first time: a deeply paranoid, desperate, and unstable man.

Essentially the worst-case scenario has happened: after a season of interfering with every attempt to capture him on camera, Vox has footage of him at his lowest point for all of Hell to see, and he’ll have “died” a martyr, a weakling, and still in the chains of an unwanted contract. For Alastor, who is so deeply afraid of showing any sign of vulnerability, who wants to be seen as a monstrous Overlord, it’s understandable that this humiliation is enough to send him into a mental spiral and recant any fondness for the hotel in favor of accomplishing his own goals. Worse yet, when we next see him he gives zero indication of any of this even when Charlie and company are simply glad that he's alive, which leaves us to wonder: has he been like this behind the smile from the very beginning?

___

Part 2: Closing Thoughts and Future Speculation

With everything we’ve taken note of above, we can start to piece together a picture of who this guy is, and what the writers are going to do with him.

Alastor is sentimental. It’s not just his attachment to older technology or his love for being the center of everyone's attention. He likes being around people, he has friends, one of which he continuously indulged despite her using him multiple times, and he ultimately was starting to enjoy his time at the hotel before his defeat spooked him. Despite him using her, the fact that he was even willing to let Charlie use his cane (and note that he takes it from her as soon as she’s given a substitute, so that is a significant gesture for him) is an implicit display of trust whose implications don’t become apparent until the finale.

But this is paired with deep insecurity. Alastor, despite being one of the most powerful people in the Pride Ring, has a crippling fear of being seen as vulnerable or “lesser” by others. There could be multiple overlapping reasons for this: the general climate of Hell, whatever happened to him seven years ago, his experiences as a mixed-race human living in Prohibition-era Louisiana, his original death, a natural predisposition, etc.

Regardless, this anxiety of his is so overwhelming that, when paired with the ever-present stress of not owning his own soul, it’s driving him insane. He made a splash in Hell upon entry and now he’s desperately trying to reinvoke that in order to defend himself both physically and mentally. He’s the gifted kid who’s slowly going nuts trying to keep up an impossible momentum as they grow older. He’s an ex-human denying his humanity because he doesn’t want to feel human. Everyone’s out to get him, and anyone who could be an enemy is an enemy unless he has total control over them via a contract, power, or the reassurance of years of close friendship. It’s why he’s cordial to Zestial but takes Carmilla (who wasn't even trying to spite him) and Lucifer’s comments personally, in the same way someone with low self-esteem might want to lash out against an authority figure who they feel is looking down on them.

Worse yet, he can’t/won’t let these feelings out and is bottling them up so that no one will know he feels this way (note how quickly he was able to relax in Dad Beat Dad when he was given an outlet for his stress), because that’s a sign of weakness too. It’s honestly kind of frightening that in his final scene he gives zero indication of being injured or of just having had a meltdown. By all outside accounts, he’s his usual chipper self, and no one at the hotel save for maybe Husk, who can’t say anything Alastor doesn’t want him to, would realize anything is amiss. The reason his part of “Finale” is chilling isn’t just because of the implications that he will become an antagonist in the future–it’s that his mental state is so poor that he is no longer acting rationally, which makes him unpredictable in the worst possible way.

I think Alastor’s character arc isn’t going to be redemption by way of going to Heaven, I don't think that place is his style anyway, but rather redemption of his own self-image. I don’t think the writers would make what is arguably the most popular and well-developed character in the show just to say that he’s hopelessly evil and simply end it at that. We’ve been exposed to multiple facets of his character, and while his deeds and probably his intentions are sinister, his underlying motivation for it all seems to be “freedom,” which decidedly isn’t (unless your name is Eren Jaeger).

I do believe that he’ll have his villain moment where he indulges in his worst impulses, but that ultimately it won’t do anything to fulfill him, because as we see in the official comics before the release of the show (which may no longer be canon but still give a viable “baseline” for the characters), when his desire to be feared and respected is granted, it only isolates him. Like the others, he’ll have to hit rock bottom before he can climb back up.

Pentious, who was successfully redeemed, needed to understand that people weren’t out to get him, which allowed him to make the decision to put his friends before himself and trigger his selfless sacrifice. Angel, who’s well on his way to redemption, needed to realize he wasn’t alone and could rely on others, and his confidence and self-love has grown enormously since then. I think these are both lessons Alastor will need to learn eventually as well. He’s the manager of the hotel, but also undoubtedly a patient. He’s hungry for freedom, but only when he learns these lessons will he be truly free.

Or maybe I’m thinking too much into it idk lmaooooo

#hazbin hotel #hazbin theory #hazbin hotel theory #hazbin analysis #zestial morde #carmilla carmine #lucifer morningstar #hazbin lucifer #charlie morningstar #hazbin hotel rosie #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor #thank god i finally released this now i never have to think about this show again #that tragic feeling when the tumblr sexyman bait is the best character in the show #alastor does not have a blanket hatred for everyone who's more powerful than he is #if he did then he'd despise charlie too and genuinely doesn't seem to #rather it's towards ANYONE whether stronger or weaker than him who refuse to acknowledge him #oooooooh this boy's got a complex but he's a VivsiePop character so it's par for the course #but anyway some of the takes people have made on him are abysmal to me so i wrote my first tumblr post in a decade

[kitspindles]

I’m in no way bashing on people who have already finished TSatS and say they hate it, are disappointed, etc., because I myself have not gone past chapter seven. My friend let me read some today, but I won’t have my own copy until Thursday, so maybe my opinions will change. I will say, however, that if you read 400+ pages in less than a day, maybe give yourself some time to process the entire plot first?

In any case, I can’t help but wonder how many people went into this book expecting one version of Nico and Will, only to be hit with something else entirely. And I mean like... expecting the fandom’s versions of these two, rather than what canon has previously shown us up until this book.

It’s my personal opinion that the PJO fandom’s worse enemy is their own mischaracterization of the characters at times. And I don’t mean like little head canons and stuff. Everyone has done those at some point. There’s usually no harm in those. I’m talking about people who created their own versions of Nico and Will and have been running with these visions for years through different fan fictions and what-not online.

For years we’ve known basically nothing about Will aside from the fact that he’s sarcastic, likes Star Wars, his mom is a country singer, he can glow in the dark, and he’s better at healing than fighting. (And he has questionable fashion choice at times). Like, that’s all we’ve had since his initial introduction in The Last Olympian over a decade ago. Everything else? Online and fan speculation. And again, there is nothing wrong with that! I just feel like a lot of people went into this book holding onto their own pre-conceived visions of what Will Solace was and ended up disappointed the authors made him... different? But not really different, because he didn’t have a lot of in-depth personality or backstory before this.

Me personally? Yeah, I’m not that far into the book yet but I’m loving how Will is portrayed so far. He’s still sarcastic, but he’s shown his fair share of level-headedness as well as frustrations just within the first couple chapters. He is in no way the overly-optimistic sunshine-y boy who only exists to help Nico that the fandom has portrayed him to be all these years. His character arc is already headed in a way deeper direction (more on that when I finish the book). The whole bit where Will had coffee spilled on him and spent the next couple paragraphs in the scene trying to be unbothered while actually giving off “This is fine” fire dog energies? I loved that.

As for Nico, can I just say I adore how he’s written in this book? Aside from his PoV in Blood of Olympus, this is the first time he’s had his own narration. And it’s actually about him and more in-depth than previous times. I’ve heard people say that he’s “out of character,” and while I can see a little of what they’re all saying, I just want to know... what version of Nico have you all been reading? Did I miss something?

Up until this book, what exactly did we know about Nico? That he’s displaced in time, his sister and mother are both dead (and he feels alone), he harbored repressed gay feelings from his upbringing as a Catholic guy in 1940s Italy, and he’s been through the ringer more than once (so, trauma, basically). Oh, and he’s a bit of a nerd (Mythomagic and knowing all kinds of ancient creatures). That’s... about it. Everything has been speculation and projection from fans.

In previous books he’s always been portrayed from first- or third-person point of view (usually from people who don’t know him well and just think he’s “creepy”), leading to the idea that he’s distant and low-empathy based on some interactions he’s had with demigods who weren’t thrilled to be around him, during a time of great pressure. But he’s not exactly uncaring. He’s been shown to care a lot, actually (Bianca, Hestia, Bob, everything he’s done for Percy, his friendship with Reyna, Hazel, etc.)

But what about when he was ten? He was an excitable, curious kid who liked to have fun. And what did we see briefly in Trials of Apollo (before Jason died, at least)? We saw some of that energy return, particularly in The Hidden Oracle.

So, yeah, I’m personally thrilled to see him making cringe-y jokes and have some self-deprecating humor. It’s very “#OnBrand” for a traumatized teenager who’s just trying to cope and live life without any godly wars forcing him this way and that. Can we really say it’s “out of character” if we’ve never seen more than one side of Nico? (The under pressure side, from other character’s PoVs, in books not about him where he’s basically been a side character?) I’m just glad to see him cracking jokes, laughing, and acting more like a normal kid.

Now, is this book different from Rick’s other ones? Uh, yeah. I won’t say it’s not. But it’s not bad. It’s supposed to be different. It has slightly different intentions than the other books (re: explicitly working through trauma and relationship bumps). Also, it’s co-written. Co-written books always read slightly off from the original author’s work, but dam if it isn’t hard to meld writing styles and copy another author’s particular voice. But I think Mark did a very good job at imitating Rick’s style (again, from what I’ve read so far).

Will I change my mind on all this the farther I get into the book? Maybe. There’s a lot to read and take in. All I’m saying is don’t let the negative reviews warp your opinion of the book if you haven’t read it yet and are on the fence if you should or not. Wait for the PDF to drop, or for a library copy, and read and see for yourself.

#nico di angelo #will solace #the sun and the star #tsats #tsats preview #tsats predictions #pjo fandom #pjo hoo toa #rick riordan #mark oshiro #rrverse #riordanverse #riordan universe #Read Riordan #my stuff

[raisedbythetv89]

The writers I think mostly completely by accident with the assistance of James charming his way into becoming a main character created the perfect storm to ensure people who love spike would reach absolute peak levels of being completely obsessively deranged about him forever

Season 2:

He’s a punk rock villain with killer cheekbones, enchanting eyes, and an absolutely DEVILISH smile - who’s an incredibly dedicated and dangerous fighter who specifically seeks out challenging fights he’s not guaranteed to win (brave and reckless - normally traits seen in heroes) hates everyone except his mentally ill physically sick wife (the statistics of men who leave their wives when they get sick in the US is horrifying like nurses literally have to warn married women who get sick it happens so often) who he’s hopelessly devoted to and unbelievably soft with and always listens to her while also exuding a psychotic amount of sex appeal and is just F U N he loves being a vampire and he loves fighting and it makes it so much fun for the audience. While still showing how much he respects and admires his enemy for her skill, strength, resourcefulness, and intelligence - NEVER underestimating her just because she’s a tiny blonde girl - and instead of destroying the world for love he SAVES the world for love - a villain doing good to get the love of his life back who essentially dumped him for her ex????????? D E V O T E D and shockingly extremely trustworthy??? And has amazing chemistry with our heroine and is there for a pivotal moment in her life and is the only one there for her when she has no one else????? *enemies to lovers girlies ENTER THE CHAT*

Season 3:

He shows he fucking MEANS IT when he says Dru is the love of his life when he shows up in Sunnydale because he blames Angel not Buffy or Drusilla but the man actually responsible for all their problems and he is the most pathetic mess we’ve ever SEEN!!!! He’s crying and drunk all the time and he’s so sad he goes to Buffy’s mom TO TALK 💀😭 our pathetic sensitive little self admitted lover boy who KNOWS he’s love’s bitch and he won’t be pretending he’s anything otherwise who shows how clearly he sees and understands other people and the depths of his emotional intelligence so much so Buffy herself admits she can’t fool Spike she can fool her friends BUT NOT SPIKE OR HERSELF EXCUSE ME MA’AM WHAT???????

AND Spike doesn’t just uselessly MOPE forever he gets some perspective and is like I know what I’m gonna do to her back and I’m gonna go do that now! 😁👍🏻 showing he never stays down for long and is always gonna get back up to keep fighting for his love while BOTH he and Buffy still honor the truce even though he’s broken it by coming back??? While Buffy’s all “I violently dislike you” YEAH OK GIRL WHATEVER YOU SAY *enemies to lovers girlies chomping at the bit intensifies*

Season 4:

CLEARLY heartbroken about Drusilla (DEVOTED!!!) but it’s turned into anger and resentment directed at Harmony who how bizarre looks nothing like Drusilla but A LOT like Buffy…… hmmmmmmmmmmmmm HOW INTERESTING *enemies to lovers girlies are vibrating with anticipation that turns into a full blown combustion when something blue happens*

Spike doesn’t pretend to love Harmony in order to get what he wants from her (shown in direct contrast to Parker) he’s ironically very honest despite being a villain - he’s showing he’s STILL loyal to Drusilla in ONLY loving her even after she’s dumped him... again!

We see Spike treat Buffy the EXACT same way he treated Drusilla during something blue reaffirming THIS IS HOW THIS MAN LOVES WHEN HE LOVES YOU. He’s extremely affectionate, helpful, protective, caring - D E V O T E D - and is truly just the most certified lover boy we’ve ever fucking seen

Season 5:

SURPRISE HE’S SECRETLY A LOVESICK MAMA’S BOY POET AT HEART UNDERNEATH THE BAD BOY PERSONA AND A PROTECTIVE BIG BROTHER AND NOW BUFFY AND HER FAMILY’S MOST LOYAL DEFENDER AND IS WILLING TO DIE NOT JUST FOR BUFFY BUT FOR ALL THE SUMMERS WOMEN AND HE KNOWS AND SEES BUFFY SO DEEPLY AND INTIMATELY AND CAN HOLD SPACE FOR HER PAIN LIKE NO ON ELSE CAN AND SHOWS THE DEVOTION THAT ONCE BELONGED TO DRUSILLA NOW BELONGS TO BUFFY AND IT IS GOING NOWHERE EVEN WHEN SHE DIES AND WE'VE SEEN IN HIM CRY BEFORE BUT NEVER HAVE WE SEEN HIM BREAK DOWN LIKE HE DOES AT THE SIGHT OF BUFFY'S BODY!!!!!!!!!!!

*all of us screaming, crying, throwing up, climbing the walls and generally just losing our minds*

Season 6:

No soul, his love is so great for Buffy as is his loyalty and devotion to her, he now helps all of his dead love’s friends fight evil and is raising her sister and dreams of saving her every night for 148 nights 🤚🏻😭 don’t even fucking talk to me I can’t take it

Forgive the absolute 180 in tone change here:

Dick game is FIRE - his touch is the only thing that makes Buffy feel alive AND SHE WAS IN HEAVEN BRO SHE KNOWS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE IN HEAVEN AND SPIKE IS THE ONLY THING KEEPING HER GOING like damn girl yes YOU FUCK THAT HOUSE DOWN!!! Also he is now just naked 50% of the time just to drive us all even FURTHER out of our minds and somehow has just gotten even hotter as the seasons have gone on like this is what’s been hiding under the leather jacket all this time! Enjoy!

And THE MOST unintended consequence of jw’s vindictive writing:

SPITE

He clearly didn’t want us to love Spike and tried to manipulate us into hating him in such a blatant and clumsy ooc attempt all that did was weed out the weakest amongst the Spuffy/Spike fans until all that remained were us:

The most devoted and stubborn fans who REFUSED to have the thing they loved ruined or taken away from us and were smart enough to see through his bullshit manipulation attempt in the first place.

Genuinely they created the equivalent of supersoilder strength level fans with this absolutely lethal combination of events 💀

AND THEN as if all that wasn't enough he goes and gets his soul on purpose for Buffy so he can be the man she deserves and she can love him without hating herself for loving him despite the immense pain it will cause him which is the most selfless thing we have ever seen anyone do for Buffy only to be topped when he sacrifices himself to destroy the hellmouth, save the world and free her from Sunnydale!!! Plus ya know once he gets the soul even though he did it for her he never tries to use that as leverage to get anything from her like he truly expects nothing from her at all but still wants to help her and James delivers the most devastating performances we've ever fucking seen, finally tells her friends off which has needed to happen for 5 seasons, the "you're the one speech" him being a dad to all the potentials with Buffy giving us supernatural parent core who made it through their rough patch with their first kid in season 6 with Dawn and now are just the beautiful team with their found family and Buffy finally has someone who can truly carry her burdens with her and just all the tenderness and devotion they both deserve after so many years of pain and fighting. Basically giving the audience the message that even if you have a metric ton of pain and trauma there are people out there who see you and understand you and there is a chance for you to heal both together and separately to build your own version of a more normal and stable life. It's a message of such hope and I personally know several people, including myself who watched what Spike and Buffy have and it inspired us to look at the relationships we were in and realize we deserved SO MUCH MORE than what we were getting and in my case it turned out I was being emotionally abused and manipulated that entire time!! Much like Buffy was by both Riley and Angel. So it isn't an exaggeration to say Spuffy saved my life in a lot of ways both in being there for me at such a dark time and helping me draw a map of how to get out. Not to mention loving them in fandom spaces has helped me connect with so many people just like me who share very similar experiences and have helped me feel so much less alone and has helped me heal in so many ways 🖤

Spuffies get "hOw cAn yOu liKe sPiKe aFtEr wHaT hE dId" all the fucking time and truly the better question is how can you NOT like Spike???? HAVE YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION AT ALL??? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT GOOD RELATIONSHIPS NEED TO WORK?? BECAUSE AT THEIR CORE SPUFFY HAS THEM ALL!

It's jw writing so NOTHING will escape his toxic bullshit but Spike - because he was hated by jw for so long - so much of the time when he tried to make Spike less popular he just kept making him better and more complex and more and more targeted to the female gaze which is exactly why he snapped and made the choices he literally forced everyone else to go along with despite their protests with that scene to make it the most traumatizing scene in all of Buffy history not just for the audience but for the actors as well because yes it is incredibly horrific and upsetting to watch (which is why I skip it on rewatches) but I still am able to see if for what it is which is a narcissist lashing out at people he hates because he hasn't been able to control them and too bad for him I refuse to be manipulated by his bullshit so it failed completely and made so many of us that much more stubbornly protective of Spike and his and Buffy's relationship not just from other fans but from the creator himself 🙃🖕🏻like he basically just trauma bonded us to Spike and Buffy which has led to the creation of one of the most devoted, loyal, intelligent fanbases who is absolutely unhinged (affectionate) with their love of this character and his relationship which is why we are all still creating and writing about this character 25 year later and show absolutely zero signs of slowing down or stopping 💀

#spuffy #spike btvs #meta #btvs meta #spike and buffy meta #spike btvs meta #spuffy meta #also every spuffy I know shares so much life experiences and personality traits with buffy herself like we are often making choices #and judgements about the narrative from the perspective of buffy herself & we’re all picking spike #so many people who pick other love interests truly so often rarely see buffy for who she is either #if you don’t get spuffy you don’t truly understand buffy herself

[itsabouttimex2]

Yandere Alphabet: Red Son

Authority: Do they see themselves as above their obsession?

Yes, yes, and yes. A thousand times over. Red Son’s pride is unmitigatable, an ever-searing pillar of his person. Y/N is viewed as a silly mortal pet, with a collar to boot. Though his opinion of you might eventually improve to seeing you as something of a friend, it still wouldn’t be great.

Bread: Can they cook or bake? Is their obsession responsible for their own food?

So long as they don’t injure themselves further than a mild burn or cut, Y/N is allowed free roam in the kitchen, allowed to make themselves what they please. Good behavior earns them a little fridge all to themselves, stocked with healthy snacks and ingredients they enjoy- Red Son can be generous, when he wants to be.

Not that he won’t steal from your plate if the things you cook look good enough. In a way, it elevates your status with him, sharing food with you as family would.

If you do get hurt too bad, Red revokes your access to the stove, oven, and knives. He’ll starts to make your meals for you, with the addendum that you help with the non-dangerous stages of food prep. Of course, what’s actually happening is that he’s making extra portions of what he likes, then giving it to you. Let’s hope you like spicy food.

Cruentus- How do they respond to Y/N being hurt, both slightly and severely?

Immediate scorching of whoever dared to lay their hands on property of the Demon Bull Family ensues, and then continues until their flesh has carbonized. Red Son will clean and bind your wounds with a firm hand, viciously scolding you for daring to put yourself in a position where you might be harmed in the first place. “My family has a reputation to maintain, you numbskull! If anyone sees you damaged, what will they think of us?!”

This lecture will occur even if the perpetrator broke into the Demon Bull fortress and smashed down the door of your room to get to you. After some time has passed, he’ll feel slightly bad for blaming you, and bring you something sugary to drink.

If the wound is minor, like a cut or scratch, Red Son will scoff at the weakness of your skin and ignore it, mocking you as ‘whiny’ and ‘pathetic’. If the issue persists, he’ll steal a few high quality first aid kits from a hospital and throw them onto your shelf.

Disengage- What’s their response to being ignored?

Laughter. Mocking, howling laughter. And then an immediate removal of privileges and freedom until they ‘grow up’, in Red’s own words.

Enclosure: Where do they keep Y/N? Do they have a place for them at all?

In the Demon Bull Family’s Fortress. Y/N has a section in Red Son’s room all to themselves, with a little mattress and small shelf to fit several personal possessions. During the beginning of their captivity, Y/N will be shown a length of chain bolted to the wall with a shackle on one end- a warning that freedom is now a privilege, not a right. You’ll have to wear it all through the night for many months on end if you make any escape attempts.

Facade: Are they good at hiding their true intentions?

No. But that’s only because doesn’t even try. The most he’ll do is lie to his parents about the depth of his obsession- and they’re willing to believe (for a time) that he merely wanted an amusing little pet to keep him company.

Garment: Do they take control of Y/N’s clothes?

Yes, to a stifling extreme. Red Son will torch the entirety of your wardrobe in order to replace it with something more suited to him and the tastes of his family- expect lots of red and purple. Secretly, Red enjoys matching with you. He might spare a few pieces of your clothing from his fire if you argue to their sentimental value. Also, he’ll do your hair, likely in a way that resembles his mother’s style. He might even force you to grow it out so that he can pin it up in twin ‘bull horns’.

Again, he forces you to wear a collar stamped with the family insignia (pictured here twice, the Chinese word for ‘bull’, written in bone script), but good behavior will have him upgrade you to a large pendant instead.

Also, you’re getting a bindi/tattoo like his- but only after he’s shifted you from ‘pet’ to ‘sibling’.

Handicap: How do they handle Y/N being or becoming disabled?

Unfortunately, a disabled Y/N in the clutches of Red Son is very likely to be the victim of humiliation and dehumanization- for a time. As his affection and care for you grows, the blade of his pendulum swings. He switches quickly from constant mockery and boundary stomping to stifling care and strict restriction. One day he’ll be kicking your crutch or hiding your anxiety meds while you panic, the next he’s demanding you to relegate yourself to the constant use of a wheelchair and punishing you for not taking your medicine where he can see it.

Intertwine- How physical are they? Do they enjoy skinship and touch?

Red Son is pretty reserved in terms of touch- he’ll accept minor displays of physical affection, but rarely initiates. When he does, you can expect condescending headpats and lots of hair brushing. If you’re feeling particularly down, he’ll muster up a half-hearted hug, awkwardly thumping your back.

Jaunt: Are they willing to take Y/N out in public? Where do they go?

No. Not unless they’re willing to be led around by the aforementioned shackle, the chains rattling with each step taken. However, Red Son might teleport them to somewhere isolated and empty for a few minutes, allowing them a little bit of fresh air as a quick reward for compliance and obedience.

Kindness: What brings out the best in this yandere?

The Crystal Heir AU leaves him extremely protective towards Y/N, acknowledging their trauma and suffering- and he works to be a better person for them.

Alternatively, when you get very sick- Red Son will stay beside you all the while, stuffing you with water, medicine, and hand-made soup. Having you completely vulnerable only serves to make him softer, given that you can’t fight or sass him- he might even cuddle you once or twice, letting you rest against his ever-warm body.

Limitation: What holds them back? Work? Family obligations? Physical weakness?

His family’s goals and ambitions are always at the fore of Red’s mind, a perpetual desire to please them. Given the time he has to spend planning or tinkering, Y/N does have time to themselves- enough to plan or attempt an escape, if they can muster the courage.

Morals: What lines are they not willing to cross?

Any form of ‘rigorous’ discipline or outright abuse. Red Son doesn’t want to waste his time doing something like caning your thighs or whipping you hands, and wouldn’t ever beat you outright. You might get slapped on the back of the head or receive a sharp swat on your nose- but he wouldn’t really go any further. Also, no deliberately putting Y/N in danger. He’s just not risking it.

Nausea: Can they tend to an illness, or would they rely on a doctor?

He handles it himself. As mentioned before, Red Son plies you with water, soup, and medicine. He’ll restrict you to his own bed, sleeping in the guest room as you recover- and he’ll sneak in during the night to wipe the sweat from your brow and refill your glass.

Obcordate: What reminds them of Y/N?

Food and drink with warming (but not spicy) spices, like cookies with a dash of ginger and cinnamon. Stray dogs that would be better off taken in hand and brought somewhere safe. Any little flower that’s blooming all alone.

Pacify: How do they comfort Y/N? Do they even bother trying?

Jokes aside, he’s not too great- but there’ll be some mild, concerned effort. Maybe just lay your head in his lap and let him play with your hair- it’s more comfortable for him trying to give you a hug or pep talk.

Queue: Do they have something of equal or greater importance to Y/N?

His family. Red’s obsession with Y/N will never come before his love for his parents, even after they find themselves forcibly ‘adopted’.

Redemption: Could they grow out of their obsession and make amends with Y/N?

Unlikely, but not impossible. After several months/years spent spent with them, Red Son will grow more protective and less cruel, but his obsession never really fades.

Sobriquet- What nicknames do for they have for their obsession?

Many mocking and insulting epithets are bestowed upon Y/N, the most frequent being, you guessed it- peasant. If Red Son grows particularly angry, he’ll get more threatening with his wording, referring to you as ‘kindling’ or ‘firewood’.

After a few months spent in captivity, he might refer to you as little sister (妹妹) or little brother (弟弟). These moments are fleeting, but impossibly soft and genuine- and after a few months or even years spent acclimating to your new life, you might see fit to call him older brother (哥哥).

Troop: How many people do they obsess over? Is that obsession spread equally?

Just one- Y/N.

Underdog: Who‘s on the yandere’s side? Would they help out?

His parents are massive enablers, unfortunately. So what if their son has a little mortal pet? They want to take over the world- Red Son taking one of the mortals that they wish to subjugate as a slave/pet/companion does not bother them at all.

Though they do find you to be very cute- especially when Red Son forces you to dress and style yourself like a member of their family.

Vocalize: How do they justify their actions?

Red doesn’t bother- he doesn’t need justification. He wanted Y/N, so he took them. The end, with no regret.

White Whale: Why do they pursue Y/N? What caused this obsessive love?

Probably they do one or two nice things for him and he snatches them up, not unlike a human adopting a cute and friendly stray. The bulk of his obsession comes later, after he’s spent enough time to start caring about you.

Xanthous: What do they really want?

Approval, attention, and affection. Red Son switches from desperately seeking his father’s pride and love to demanding to have yours, finding it a much easier goal to achieve.

Youth: How old is Y/N in comparison to them? Younger, same age, or older?

Given that they’re almost invariably a mortal he finds amusing, Y/N is much younger.

Zealous: Do they pursue Y/N doggedly, or are they more laidback and casual with their approach?

Red Son is extremely casual the majority of the time- he’s entitled and prideful to the point that he sees nothing wrong with what he’s doing. Why would he be anything but relaxed?

Author’s Choice 1: What do Princess Iron Fan and Demon Bull King think of Y/N?

Iron Fan thinks of you as adorable when Red Son styles your hair like hers, and might even throw some of her old clothes your way- they’re abraded to softness and cozy to sleep in, offering some comfort during long nights. She’s not too opposed to having you as part of the family, even if she has to help her son “train” you into obedience and politeness.

The Demon Bull King uses you as practice for his future rule over mortals, making demands of you. He chuckles as you scurry about to fulfill them, trying hard to avoid his ire. Occasionally he’ll lift you by the scruff of your shirt, examining you closely. It’s fun to watch you yelp and kick, fearful that he’ll drop or crush you- he won’t actually do either, to his credit. It’s just funny to him that you think he might.

#Platonic Yandere #Yandere Lego Monkie Kid #Yandere LMK #Yandere Red Son #Red Son #Yandere Alphabet

[writingforatwistedworld]

I'm so eager to see more from your amazing Otome AU. How about Riddle, Azul and Vil with a player that chooses to ignore the plot and choose them instead?

Otome au

I do not take any responsebility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, obsession, kidnapping, possessiveness, murder

Riddle Rosehearts/Azul Ashengrotto/Vil Schoenheit-Player ignores the plot and chooses them instead

FINALLY!!! THE DAY HAS COME!

With how excited he is he might as well just say that you two are egaged (we al know how much he values a married life)

Riddle’s thought process behind all of this is that he was born for loving you so… mhm you are not going to leave his side ever

But hey, maybe you can bring his tyranny to an end?

One day you were just playing the game, being dissatisfied with how cliche the thypical “good” and “bad” was being portrayed

And then you started a new chapter but… it looked different…

“Hidden route, chapter 1-Welcome to the villains world”

And suddenly you are thrown into a world full of betrayal, murder and obsessive villains that are all after your hand

Congrats! Now try to survive

But once you have reached the end of the now unlocked route of Riddle, the red “Queen”, the tyrant, you have experienced a long journey far more interesting than the normal route which is filled with the typical magical girl saviour complex

But damn was there a lot to unpack

But now everything is fine! The ending CG was so beautifull and… and… godness is it just me or are you getting sleepy?

If you thought that Riddles reign of terror would be ended just with that then I’m sorry but nope

He is determined to get you into his world, to play crocket with flamings and behead soliders who planted the wrong roses

Riddle won’t just turn into a good “Queen” who is a pacifist, no

He just wants you beside him now, and who is there to stop him? Defenitely not the Fairy of thorns

Say goodbye to everyone that matters because soon he will be the only one you will have real human contact with, believe me, silent servants aren’t a good thing for loneliness

I mean, it is already hard enough to even unloc the normal underwater routes but now you even want the hidden one?

Well congrats because you just did! Please enjoy “The merchant from the depths”

And look at that! It’s the two eels you shish kebabed in the normal route… thank goodness they can’t remember that… haha… ha… O_O

And that cave is also a lot more friendlier than shown before! Maybe you always just had a wrong image of the mersorcerer…

Azul is very kind as well. Before you know it you are one fourth done with his route because it is just so much fun

What you don’t know though is that behind the screen Azul is more than just happy that you finally found your way here

Finally he was able to break through the fate that was bestowed upon this world!

It is also such a sad and also beautifull route as well! Who would have thought he had such a connection to a certain ruler that was never mentioned before in the normal routes?

When you finally were able to bring to light that the supposedly royal family had in truth stolen their seat from Azuls family everything finally became better

The octopus was no longer shunned and hey, he looked geniunely happy! What else do you want?

Now back to that chapter with the hidden missions with which you could unlock the other hidden routes… why are you automatically back to his?

You really shouldn’t be that surprised. He finally got a taste of how true affection really tastes and you think he would just let go? Let you continue to the others?

I would recommend forgetting those cute CG in which he hugged you shyly. They are of the past

Now that you think about it… that trident would probably not something good in his hands…

But no need to worry! He will take good care of it. There is just one thing he will do with it for himself

I don’t know why you are suddenly getting sleepy. But maybe you should be more concerned about the… arms (?) closing around you…

Will say that he expected this to happen sooner or later (he didn’t)

Imagine, one day he was asking his most trusted reflecting surface what you were doing and the thing says you are right now nlocking his route

The poor thing expected for his king to do something damaging to it out of shock

And then suddenly Vil was thanking it with a singsong voice, dusting it’s frame free of nonexistent dust

Finally he finally had you! Almost… But still!

Whilst Vil is celebrating you are more in a “What the heck!!!” mood

Who would have thought that the man ruling this place had been an outcast shunned by the other Nobles who only looked at his brother, only his father looking after him

And what happened in the normal route made so much more sense now! Neige had always been pampered, skill and talent coming to him wiithout any effort

No wonder Vil had such a vandetta against him

It was also such a relief for Vil when he didn’t end like he was supposed to in the normal route, remembering how he felt the burn and how the world slowly turned black

Not only that, it was also nice for him to know that he wasn’t seen by you as some powerfull person but rather the ordinary person that he was deep down

And his after story was also one that was so heartwarming! Him talking to his raven about you, saying that he was happier than ever…

This is where I end the fluff and start to recommend tossing the game out of the window

You see, him talking to his raven was one of the red flags that wouldn’t be red flags in a normal relationship but are in the one you have

Did he just look at you instead at your avatar in the game??! Why was he so pricky? He was softer in his route…

Just at least try to stay away from the Shaftlands. There has been talk about their king looking into arts that are able to influence other worlds…

#twst riddle #twst azul #twst vil #twst #twst x reader #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twst #yandere twisted wonderland x reader #yandere twst x reader #twisted wonderland otome au #yandere riddle x reader #yandere riddle rosehearts #yandere riddle #riddle x reader #yandere vil schoenheit #yandere vil x reader #vil schoenheit x reader #twisted wonderland vil #yandere vil #twsited wonderland azul #yandere azul x reader #azul x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #yandere azul ashengrotto #yandere azul #tw: obsession #tw: yandere #tw: kidnapping #tw: possessiveness #tw: murder

[solart13]

For an art request can you please draw one of your headcanons?

I’m not entirely sure if this would be considered a headcanon or not but I like the thought that Aizawa is more emotionally open around Mic and that he values him a lot.

[Long wall of text of my thoughts and opinions incoming]

Like, I understand the comedy aspect of Aizawa being somewhat of a dick towards Mic seeing as that is how their dynamic is often portrayed as in the show, i.e. Aizawa being annoyed/putting up with Mic’s shenanigans. Their relationship does get more expanded upon in the Hospital raid arc but even then, Aizawa being more of a fan-favourite because, among other things, he’s part of the main cast gets more fleshed out than Mic despite Oboro having been both of their friend. In the hospital after the raid, Aizawa shows a certain degree of dismissiveness of Mic’s feelings, which yes, I can understand may be because he didn’t want to talk about it and that was his way of coping, but remember that they are alone and it has been shown that he is often more open with his feelings and opinions when it’s just the two of them, not to mention that Mic is now his only surviving friend from back in their days at U.A. At least maybe show the audience Aizawa having some kind of emotional reaction to the fact that Midnight, a close friend of theirs, who has impacted his life a lot, ex. with sending in an application to U.A, has just died.

And like I said, I do understand and actually like the more teasing side of their relationship but what I don’t like is when it’s just Aizawa treating Mic poorly and Mic is depicted as the stupid comic relief when his character is a lot more nuanced.

As previously mentioned, however, Mic is just a side character which means the show and the creator won’t bother making him more complex than necessary (often to further Aizawa’s story) which means that the fanbase who don’t think too much about him as a character will just staple him as the comic relief (which I want to make clear is totally fine because we all have characters we focus on more than others, be it a comfort character or simply just caring for one character more than another).

What I don’t like is when it’s clear that someone favours Aizawa more than Mic in the Erasermic relationship and portrays Mic as “inferior” to Aizawa and bases his character off of his stereotypes (ex. being loud all the time and acting immature) and won’t look past that. Fortunately, I rarely stumble upon this sort of interpretation and I want to once again make it clear that it’s fine if you like one character more in a ship, my point is that I personally dislike when the other character in the relationship isn’t given at least some of that focus and is more like an accessory than anything.

For me with the Erasermic dynamic, I like when a clear balance is shown. I personally am a big fan of Mic and I like breaking his character down to its bare bones and giving him more depth than the source material does…so basically making my own headcanons about him lol. But I also like Aizawa a lot and I guess my guilty pleasure is portraying them in a healthy and equal companionship where Mic isn’t the only one who openly shows his appreciation.

So, uh, yeah. That was a lot lol. Apologies for the long wait, I had an exam a few days ago and finally had some free time to work on the request. I hope the drawing is sufficient and correlates to the wall of text above.

On another note, here’s an extra little headcanon of these two being two of the smartest characters in the show, yet not hesitating to egg each other on when it comes to dumb ideas (I drew this in like 5 seconds and barely put any effort into it lol)

#erasermic #present mic #eraserhead #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #fanart #drawing requests #headcanon

[becauseimanicequeen]

Jin is Not a Flat Character

I debated (with myself) whether or not to get into this discussion that’s been flaring up a lot lately (especially on X), and then just realized I had to get it out of my head. So, here we are…

I won’t be addressing the whole pre-release trailer thing because I’ve seen enough of them and then their series to know that A LOT can change from that initial trailer to the finished product. I always take pre-release trailers with a whole jar of salt. So, I just feel like it would be a waste of time and space to get into that.

Instead, I will look at Jin from the perspective of someone who used to be a fantasy author (before I realized my calling was visual art). So, let me start by establishing some aspects of character creation.

Let’s start with the pair flat vs round characters since “flat” is the aspect I’ve seen many define Jin as:

Flat characters: They often typify one major character trait (e.g., good, evil, funny, smart, etc.) and have no depth.

Round characters (or multi-dimensional characters): They have several traits that are evident, have multiple layers, and are most like real people when it comes to complex personalities. They also have more complex and developed backstories than flat characters (but this doesn’t mean a fully detailed backstory since that can become redundant, it’s more about highlighting the important parts).

Then there’s another pair of opposing aspects that are important, static vs dynamic characters:

Static characters: They don’t experience any major emotional or mental changes throughout the story. You could say that they feel like the same character at the end of a story as they do at the beginning.

Dynamic characters: They experience emotional and/or mental changes throughout the story, which leads them to become different persons/characters. There’s an evident change in who they are at the end of the story compared to who they were at the beginning. This change is often positive (but doesn’t have to be).

A character can be flat and static, round and static, or round and dynamic (I don’t think I’ve ever come across a character that’s flat and dynamic because, logically, those would cancel each other out).

Another pair of aspects I would like to mention is passive vs active characters:

Passive characters: They don’t do much to further the plot. They don’t have any goals and motivations (at least none that matter to the story).

Active characters: Their actions are what keep the plot rolling. They have goals and motivations that drive their actions (and those usually matter to the story).

Flat and static and round and static characters are usually passive characters because they have no or very few goals and motivations, whereas round and dynamic characters can have many complex ones and are, most often, active characters.

To summarize Jin quickly before I present the actual “evidence” of what we’ve seen so far in DFF, I would say that Jin is a round and dynamic character who is monthly active (but has also shown to be passive, depending on the circumstances). This is far from being flat.

But let’s get into the good stuff, the “evidence”:

What We Know and Have Seen of Jin

These bullet points are based on what we’ve seen from episodes 1-11):

Jin is a character with romantic/idealistic views, which could be linked to his artistic soul (since he’s into photography). I feel like some of his actions can be explained by him having an artistic soul.

He lives in a big house that feels remote. Every time we’ve seen him there (so far), he’s been alone (no family members around). I would presume this is common in Jin’s life as he could bring Phee over and have sex against a window for everyone outside to see without Jin being bothered about it.

He stands up to the others (arguably half-heartedly) when they bully Non.

We’ve also seen his reactions several times whenever Non was mentioned after his disappearance. Jin seems far from as unbothered and casual about it as the others who just want to brush it off.

When he develops feelings, they go deep (seen with both Non and Phee).

Reciprocation is important to him as well since he chose not to do anything with Non (even though he liked him) because he knew Non had a boyfriend. It shows up with Phee as well. Jin is the one who suggests Phee stay the night, but he does so after Phee brings him to the lake and shares the significance of that place with Jin (suggesting that Phee made the first move).

He prefers clear communication when there are feelings involved (as shown when he asks Phee what they are to each other).

He clearly connects feelings with sex considering how quickly he got attached to Phee and wanted to know their relationship status.

There’s, at the very least, a sliver of jealousy in him considering how he reacted when he saw Non kiss another boy’s cheek (Phee’s).

He’s emotional and ends up making rash decisions and mistakes in the heat of the moment (e.g., the video).

When in a heated situation, he’s usually the one making an effort to calm it down (like when Non threatened Tee/the group and several times during the whole situation when the gun switched ownership between Fluke, Tee, and Phee).

He doesn’t mind jumping in to defend people, even when they’re being threatened at gunpoint.

These are just a few points off the top of my head. But it shows that we still know a lot about him even though his backstory isn’t as explicitly shown as, for example, Non’s, Phee’s, or Tan/New’s.

Now, let’s look at Jin from the aspects of character creation I wrote about above.

Flat vs Round, Static vs Dynamic, and Passive vs Active

First and foremost, Jin displays several traits and characteristics. He’s friendly, naive, emotional, desperate to be close to someone (possibly because he feels neglected), selfish at times, selfless at other times, impulsive, helpful, courageous at times, etc. This is not the mark of a flat character.

He also experiences emotional and mental changes throughout the episodes we’ve seen so far. If we look at the timeline of the series chronologically (starting with 3 years in the past), Jin seems open and friendly, his romantic/idealistic views are intact (which are shown when he, for example, stands up for Non against the bullies), and he clearly has good feelings for Non.

At the present point in the series (when they’re back at the house in the woods), he’s a lot more closed off (due to what happened to Non and his own part in that as well as the way Phee treated him in the past), his idealistic views are not as intact (he’s gotten used to liars, even told a fair few himself, to the point that he’s not very surprised when Phee confesses about who he and Tan really are), and rather than having good feelings for Non, he’s weighed down by the guilt of his part in Non’s downfall.

Even though these are some examples that illustrate his turn for the worse (or is it?), it’s still a mark of a dynamic character rather than a static one. If he’d still been the naive, idealistic, happy person after all the shit that’s gone down the past 3 years of his life, I would’ve been scared for him (or of him, because that’s just semi-sociopathic behavior). Luckily, Jin has grown to realize that the world isn’t always as great as he might’ve thought and how destructive his own rash decisions can be.

We’ve also been shown time and time again that Jin’s role in the story is important (and bigger than some upset viewers would lead you to believe):

Jin was the one who convinced Non to write the screenplay for the movie.

He defended Non (arguably half-heartedly).

He convinced Non to finish the movie (arguably manipulated him out of selfish desires).

He filmed the video of Non and Keng.

He lied about Non’s disappearance to the police (but, I mean, who would want to cooperate with those corrupt fuckers?).

And he is the one who’s trying to calm down the messy and heated situation at the house (together with what we’ve seen recently of Phee).

This is not a small role. It’s not an insignificant role. He’s the one who took away Non’s parachute in the middle of his tragic downfall, escalating the whole thing. That’s no passive character waiting for things to happen.

And, on the subject of his actions, we can also see his motivations behind them (without having a fully-blown background story).

For one, his romantic/idealistic views are what led him to get angry (alternatively felt betrayed) when he saw Non with Keng and decided to film the video (yes, it was a decision of his, and it turned out to be one of his biggest mistakes). He makes an active decision and he has a motivation for it.

He later finds out how the spread of that video (which he filmed) affected Non (when he threatened them at the house). Jin has felt guilty ever since (which makes him a better person than some of the others). The fact that he actually shows remorse when he talks to Phee about this shows that he has grown and hopefully learned not to make rash decisions based on his emotions (his reaction to Phee’s rejection, for example, is to stonewall Phee rather than hurt him, which is a step forward). A flat and static character wouldn’t grow this much.

As I mentioned above, I feel like some of his actions can be explained by him having an artistic soul. One of them is that he can see the beauty in the mundane (even in the things that others see as ugly). We can take Non as an example.

All the others call him greasy. They think he’s disgusting. Jin, though, is fascinated by him. In one scene, we see him look at Non through Por’s new camera (with heart-eyes, I might add). In another scene, he stares at Non as if spellbound. This could further explain his attachment to Non and his desire to keep Non close.

Another action that can be explained by Jin having an artistic soul is that he knew exactly which buttons to push with Non when he convinced him to stay and finish the film.

Artists of all kinds know what it’s like to be attached to their work (I’m speaking from personal experience). Jin pointing this out to Non (knowing that Non has an artistic soul just like Jin) could’ve been unintentional since he might’ve spoken from his own experience, but it could’ve also been an ace in his sleeve to keep Non close (for selfish reasons).

These are only a few examples of all the facets of Jin’s character, yet, I feel like it’s quite clear that Jin is far from flat. He’s a round, dynamic, and (mostly) active character who plays a big role in the series.

Jin is just as much a main character as Non or Phee (to mention a few) because he’s always had a very central part of the story.

Conclusion

Is Jin a flat character? Absolutely not.

Could he have been developed more (at least up until the 11th episode that we’ve seen)? Yes. Just like White and Top.

(I saw somewhere that someone commented that Sammon had said that her regret was not having developed Jin more, but this is just hearsay, so take it with a pinch of salt.)

But do we need Jin to be more developed? Not really.

We don’t need a full-length backstory for every character to understand them. I believe that characters should be able to stand by their actions without needing a backstory to explain them. And that’s exactly the case with Jin.

He doesn’t need a sob story to make him feel human, like, for example, Por (even though I really, really, really don’t want to admit that Por has, a teeny, tiny, itty, bitty, microscopical sliver of humanity in him). Jin doesn’t need a fully developed backstory like Tee because he wasn’t the kind of asshole Tee was (even though Jin’s mistake was big too). Jin’s actions and motivations are shown through the character itself rather than told through the backstory.

Just because your expectations of a character weren’t met doesn’t mean they’re flat or badly written. Just because you want Jin to have a bigger role doesn’t mean he has a small one. Just because you want to see more of Jin’s backstory doesn’t mean he’s underdeveloped if you don’t get more. Just because you aren’t explicitly told/shown Jin’s backstory and reasons for doing what he does doesn’t mean it’s not there. Sometimes you just have to read between the lines.

Because it is there.

#dead friend forever #dff #dff the series #dff analysis #my shit

[thatastrologychick1111]

Taurus rising in depth

You needed to develop patience at a young age to survive. You had to be dependable. Maybe you had an egotistical mother or a parent who only seemed to care about themselves and their problems. Maybe you felt like your needs didn’t really matter. Your human needs may have been overly or barely met (food, shelter, water). It was instilled in you that you “needed” things to feel safe and taken care of. Aesthetic may become a big deal to you. You may thrive to be seen as “different” and “cool headed” “calm and collected”. Because around you all there was, was chaos. You may be more reserved, standoffish when first meeting people, because you need to observe people and their motives. You may be attracted to emotionally abusive, mysterious, covert, secretive, emotionally insecure people. These relationships are teaching you how to be vulnerable even when it’s scary. You can be the support system for these emotionally intense, chaotic people. You may feel like you need romantic partnerships at a young age. You may over romanticize your relationships. When you are in love, you do not give up. You stick by people even when they don’t deserve it. You want unique social status. In your work you thrive for independence, but at the same time you want to work with others. Your work is paradoxical and humanitarian based. You want equality in the work place. When you get to know people, you open up and show your true authentic self (whatever your sun sign is). Your mom may have been a single parent, she needed to be the lead in your life or she taught you to be the lead by taking care of her own needs and neglecting you. This can make you stubborn and stuck in your ways. You don’t want to treat others the way you were treated, you’ll dig your heals in to what you feel is “right”. You could be seen as lazy if you were the one who was given everything in your life. You may have not had to work a day in your life. Maybe you grew up in the suburbs and you were shown how to be proud and became indulgent through not being challenged what so ever. Chaos can rule you and this can make you neglectful of yourself or it can make you hyper focused on your appearance. Taurus get the bad rap of being boring. But predictability keeps you safe (at least you think it does). These people can become OCD. Their home is probably the party house or filled with entertainment. If Jupiter is here they may have a big house or a big mom, or they have a lot of siblings. If Saturn is in the 4th this can bring restrictions within the family. Creativity may have been looked down upon. Taurus people NEED creative freedom, however, they may be criticized for their unique ideas or creations and they may feel like they won’t amount to anything, which can add to their “lazy” demeanor. With this rising sign you’re learning your worth, prioritizing your values and throwing in the towel when others are compromising your well being.

With this rising sign be ware of thyroid issues, speak your truth, be honest.

#taurus #taurus rising #learn astrology #astro community #astrology #personal #venus #love

[lollytea]

I love your idea of super pda huntlow bc it goes nicely with the idea of “very behind the doors, make sure no one is watching, send the palismen to play, if someone catches us it’s all over” kind of kisses I think they had in the human realm. Of course, it’s not a shame from each other but the guilt of like “hey this isn’t the time for this, we need to focus and be the strong ones bc if we fall apart then everyone else does too” but also “we’re teens and titan help me bc you’re literally the cutest person I’ve ever been attracted to and a quick peck won’t hurt if no one finds out”.

Hahaaaaa how I so badly love that trope that's like

"We shouldn't"

"I know....but I'd like to..."

"....okay."

Love to put it in a fic at some point. Maybe soon.

I don't imagine a lot of romantic intimacy happened between them while they were in the Human Realm. At least not outside of flirting. Nothing physical is what I'm saying. Mostly because of the body language of the pinky scene. Its such a tentative, scared, inexperienced offer of affection that it leads me to believe that they never would have done anything more than that before.

HOWEVER I still see your visions. I love entertaining visions. And this is a very fun vision to entertain.

I think the two of them are dealing with their situation in very different ways. It's shown in TTT that Hunter seems to take a bit of guilt in focusing on anything that's not relevant to getting them back home, and worse, actually enjoying it. How can he have fun at a time like this, know? That's his mindset.

Meanwhile Willow seems to be focusing very heavily on her own distractions so she doesn't fall apart, and also keeping the calm, fun, goofy optimistic atmosphere so her friends don't fall into the depths of despair.

Hunter is a nice distraction. He's very sweet and very pretty. And when she's feeling rattled from nightmares of her Dads' dead bodies, she likes to sit with Hunter and listen to him talk about whatever silly shit he's obsessed with this week. It's a lot healthier than sneaking some of Camila's wine.

Hunter is picking up on some signals from Willow but he's too scared to ask her upfront if she's doing what he thinks she's doing. It would be mortifying if she said no. And since they live in the same house, he wouldn't be able to hide.

But he's pretty sure she wants to kiss him. And he's pretty sure he wants to kiss her too. But if he did, his focus on their current mission would be in shambles.

But also he's like...very weak willed when it comes to Willow. It doesn't take much prodding. The moment she asks ("Can I kiss you? Sorry...that came out of nowhere. You just look very kissable right now") all of his walls crumble and he's silently nodding.

Just a little kiss. That's all it is. It's not like it's all that important.

Even tho they can NOT let anybody else know.

I like thoughts about the two oldest characters who do everything in their power to be safe, comforting figures to the others, just having a moment to be young and scared together.

[nomerrynolife]

About that Last Twilight ending...

So, I’m just gonna say it straight that probably doesn’t resound with the rest of you viewers here.

I don’t hate it.

BUT

I don’t like it either.

I won’t delve into the whole ableism/ableist issue as for one, I’m not a disabled person, specifically not a blind person. It is not my place to give an opinion on this as I can’t and won’t ever understand what it’s like to be blind. And there’s quite a few posts already that have commented on this issue quite strongly so that’s that.

I just wanna write down my thoughts as a BL drama lover, Thai Drama enthusiasts, and as JimmySea fan. Also, my POV as someone who is there at the Fan Meeting in Siam Pavalai. It’s been a week, and I was busy since and only had the time now to gather my thoughts and feelings towards the finale.

The Sudden Break-Up and Blocking. I’m not sure why the writers decided to made Day to be a brat who can’t have a proper discussion on Mhok’s decision to stay. Because we see in episode 11 that Day is actually happy and supportive and encouraging Mhok to go to Hawaii if he’s selected. The least the writer could do is make them talk (or argue) it out instead, breaking up is okay if they still disagree, but blocking Mhok for 3 years? A bit excessive don’t you think?

The Non-Existent Discussion About Mhok’s Trauma. This is like the elephant in the room that never got addressed or shown at all except the nightmare in episode 11 and occasional name dropping of Rung. We get it that Day can’t see that Mhok is having a nightmare, nor did he can read Mhok’s expression if he’s upset or sad about anything but throughout their friendship they didn’t talk at all about Rung and Mhok’s family in depth? They didn’t make Day asked what happened with Mhok’s sister? Like if the writers gonna make this as the reason Mhok is staying why didn’t this issue ever brought up before? This makes the break up uncalled for since Day didn’t know the real reason Mhok is staying and rejecting the job offer.

Day’s Not Giving Back – I know a lot of people is saying how Mhok keeps on giving and Day not giving back or did anything at all for Mhok, but I think Day’s contributions is Mhok’s improvements in himself i.e. giving up smoking, learning to cook better, learning to be a proper caretaker instead of just being someone who brought Day’s food. It wasn’t physical or significant but it’s there, no matter how small.

Mhok Excessive Flirting – I don’t mind (in fact I quite enjoy it) the flirting and sweetness and cutesy antics but after the blocking for 3 years Mhok can just comeback and flirt shamelessly and acting like nothing happen………… I know this is probably just to make a happy scene for us since we cried a lot over the previous episodes but come on now, as realistic as their flirting is no one in real world would immediately flirt after not seeing each other for 3 years.

Mhok Admitting He Did Pity Day (W.T.F??) – Out of all the fuck-ups in episode 12 this is the fuck ups I’m most angry with. The rest of the flaws in the episode is forgivable but this is like the Lord of the Fuck-Ups. We have seen from the first episode that Mhok is rather curious than pity, and we know the decision to decline the job offer stems from Mhok unaddressed trauma over his sister’s death. He rather be with Day instead of being away, worrying, wondering, and feeding on his paranoia (definitely NOT pitying) so when Mhok apologize and admitting that he did pity Day I almost threw my phone to P’Aof across the cinema hall.

The Sudden Eye Donation – I know a lot of people quite preferred that Day remained blind, after all the entire series centers around Day accepting his blindness, and to show that blind people can lead a normal life. The only thing I’m disagreeing over is how soon Day got the eye donation. I don’t think in any part of the world organ donation is easy to come by, let alone twice in the span of 3 years, no matter how rich his family is (Mhon isn’t exactly a politician that gets away with everything). In my head the ending would be Mhok and Day living life like normal couple, having a meal with Night, Porjai and Mhon, and the scene cut to shows Mhon’s phone ring at the back, showing Eye Donation Center calling and series ended there with P’Aof name appearing (you know like Inception ending where we didn’t know whether Dom’s coming back to his kids is real or not). The decision to make Day received the eye donation as soon as they make up seems lazy and unnecessarily convenient to me.

Day’s Heart Shattered into Pieces Comments – I saw someone said on twitter (I couldn’t find the link sorry) “did Day have amnesia or something” and did he forget he said “this is good” when he goes completely blind for the first time on the mountain and compare it to the last epilogue where Day said his heart is shattered into pieces when he goes blind. I think what was meant here is one can accept one’s fate, but still be heartbroken with it. I like to think this is like how we deal with death of loved ones, we accept that’s it’s God’s will but we are still heartbroken over it. Day did accept his blindness; doesn’t mean he can’t be heartbroken.

Scriptwriter Having a Blind Friend to Comment– There’s the series scriptwriter on twitter, where they said they have a blind friend and when they wrote the script, the scenes and the characters feelings is in consultation with the said blind friend. So, when the finale is written they did have an argument among themselves on how to go about, whether Day stays blind or gets an eye donation. I saw a lot of hate being directed to P’Aof, I just hope people know he’s not the only screenwriter on this series. And I know I said earlier on I don’t mind that Day got his sight back but I can’t help but feels like the whole point of one palm distance and “the last image that I see” is… pointless. The songs still slaps btw.

Did Jimmy Sea Have Any Say About Their Character At All? As someone who’s portraying the characters, did a very good job with it and seem to understand and empathize a lot with their characters' situation, I wonder if they have any say on Mhok’s character admitting he’s at fault or whether Day should be more considerate of Mhok’s situation. Because we never see Day equally apologizing for not giving Mhok the chance to explain himself. And it’s quite out of character for Mhok to admit that he did pity Day. What I see from Hollywood is that actors have “creative differences” with the scriptwriter all the time in regard to the character they’re portraying so that probably doesn’t apply to Thai entertainment.

People Wishing Death To Fans Attending – guys, come on. It’s a spur of the moment thing, we cheered because we were shocked, happy, annoyed (??). All in all, I have fun throughout the whole fan meeting, the excitement to meet JimmySea, the anxiousness in how it gonna end, the eye to eye contact with JimmySea during the group photo. They’re real people guys, so beautiful up-close. Namtan is ETHEREAL, such a Goddess.

One thing I’m glad that in this fandom, even after the critics, fans bashing and semi-disastrous finale, I see no one is blaming Jimmy and Sea. If anything, they truly deserve the praises, the love and the accolades that they have received so far from their outstanding portrayal as Mhok and Day.

For those who’s just starting to binge-watching the series, please do continue and don’t be discouraged seeing all these negative reviews and comments. Please enjoy JimmySea’s visual and acting (coz I love them so much they deserve the world even when the series ending is not what everyone’s expected and I’m crying as I’m typing this while begging you to not hate them), just that don’t get your hopes up, keep your expectations low and prepare to be let down at the end.

Here’s a couple of pictures at the fan meeting, if you got the chance to go to the next fan meeting please do. I practically sold my kidney for the last minute flight coz I'm waited only after I got the admission tickets to buy the flight tickets.

Thank you for these memories, thank you for enjoyment for the past 12 weeks, thank you JimmySea. I will cherish this forever 💜💙

#JimmySea #First Friday without Last Twilight #I swear I'll move on #Last Memories Last Twilight #last twilight #mhok x day #last twilight series #mhokday #one palm distance #last twilight finale #last twilight final ep #Jimmy Jitaraphol #Sea Tawinan #Mark Pakin #ohm thiphakorn #namtan tipnaree #film rachanun #aof noppharnach #william jakrapatr #Miss you last twilight series #I know I sound like a Day defender #I just have a soft spot for Sea I'm sorry 😭 #Chao Talay #Last Memory Last Twilight

[alexiaugustin]

season two of shadow and bone should have shown absolutely every last fucking person that this show is a soulless piece of trash adaptation that doesn’t understand nor gives two fucks about the source material they're allegedly trying to adapt and that the people behind this show were all lying to your faces when they apologized for the things that upset people for 24 hours before season one streamed two years ago, because after all this show still erases the trauma of a woman’s sexual abuse story and they are still sexualizing bisexual people and they are still fucking everything about these characters and their dynamics up.

season one should have upset most people enough to stop stanning this show but during the last two years we have learned that there’s A Lot that the tv industry can do that people won’t care about. an ableist, colorist and fatphobic and age inaccurate casting that hurts people by taking their representation away is something people won’t care about. complex characters being reduced to an inch of what they actually are like so they and their relationship can neatly fit into archetypes, tropes and ao3 tags is something people won’t care about. showrunners getting exposed for having their white stunt doubles do brownface is something people won’t care about. a show having a dumb script that makes everyone on the show look like a fucking loser is something people won’t care about.

and now season two is out and they did everything they already did in season one wrong but it’s somehow still so much worse. after watching season one i felt like the deeply offensive and wrong things about this show were still explainable, season two actually has me at loss for words because of how bad it is. because of how there’s not a single thing they did right about the soc books; not the characters, not their relationships, not their storyline, nor the world they live in. i could give a few examples like the fact that kaz told inej that feeling as if she’s not really free from the menagerie where she was sex trafficked as a child "isn’t her fight anymore, it’s his“ just because pekka rollins owns her now. or the fact that wylan and jesper met via a one night stand and were fucking by episode four even tho they don’t even kiss before the end of ck. or that they turned pekka rollins into a super villain who wants to kill kaz even though the whole point of his role in the books is that he has no idea why kaz has it out for him and he doesn’t care abt these teenagers.

i could explain all these and so many more examples in depth, and still it wouldn’t be enough to capture the the true scope of how bad and truly horrible this show is. and yet. and yet when i log into tumblr dot com or twitter dot com i see gifsets of this show, of the relationships they don’t understand, of the characters they butchered and i'm seeing people rooting for another season of this nonsense. at this point this show feels like a social experiment that’s trying to see how far people will go to defend a deeply offensive and atrociously bad piece of media. and during the last 48 hours i've come to realize that some of y'all will never be able to be pushed too far. some of y’all had their brains rotted away a long time ago when tiktok and ao3 made you believe that media is nothing more than the consumption of aesthetics, tropes and archetypes and that it’s a good thing if these are responsible for the death of art. if you claim to love the book and the show at the same time you are lying to yourself because that is simply impossible. you have, in short, truly lost the fucking plot.

#anti shadow and bone #im going to put this post in all the tags idgaf stupid ppl Pisa me off so bad #shadow and bone #six of crows #wesper #kanej #helnik #kaz Brekker #wylan can eck #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #sab

[wheresarizona]

Learning to Live Part 9

summary: Javier desperately needs something to wear around your apartment that isn’t unbuttoned jeans. It’s a good look, a really good look, but you have a feeling grey sweatpants would look even better, so he’s taking you to the mall for some shopping.

rating: E (18+! Unprotected p in v (wrap it up!), creampie, dry humping, praise, dirty talk, (1) sir, affectionate ass slapping (Javier is an ass man), feelings of jealousy and insecurity, emotions, food mention, Javier in grey sweatpants, dual pov, no y/n)

pairing: Javier Peña/f!reader

word count: 9700+

a/n: Hello there, sorry about how long this took to write! This wasn’t a part of my outline, but a lot of people wanted to read about them going shopping, and your wish is my command! If there’s ever anything you wanna see, just let me know. I’ve got a one-shot I’m working on for this universe and the next chapter on my to-do list and started. Thank you for all the love and support, you are the best, and I appreciate it very much! Dedicating this chapter to @theorganasolo for her special day! I hope it’s a good one and that Soft!Javi will make you smile! 😊😊😊 As always, shoutout to @juletheghoul, my inspiration and my rock, whom I love. Thank you to my beta, @invisibleismyname, who’s always there for me, and helps me be a better writer, whom I also love. They’re my partners in crime who help me make this all happen.

Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs are appreciated!

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You were aware of the effect that sundresses had on Javi.

Very aware.

They were his weakness, and it absolutely delighted you to see his pupils blow wide, eyes trailing along your body, seeing the clear want in the dark depths.

That was something you loved about Javier Peña—he made you feel wanted, and you knew without a doubt he liked everything about you, from your body to your personality, and even your insistence that scrambled eggs needed ketchup on them. He liked you and wanted you, cherishing all of your imperfections and quirks, not batting an eye at the things about your body that made you feel self-conscious because he liked it all—everything.

He’d shown you that morning after you’d woken up in his arms, and soft kisses turned into Javi on top of you, kissing you hungrily before he was moving down your naked body, his lips on your skin the entire way.

The room had a soft glow from the sun shining through the curtains, and he’d shoved the blankets off you both, reverently moving his mouth, and you noticed that he made a point to kiss your flaws—stretch marks, scars, anything that stood out his lips found, pressing gently, softly, like his kisses were little thanks to your body, and appreciating them as if they were badges of honor for the life you’d lived.

It was sweet and a little overwhelming, making your eyes go misty, and then he ended up with his face between your thighs, and he worshipped you in a different kind of way that had your legs shaking and body boneless by the time he’d decided you had enough.

It was another morning where he didn’t want anything in return and just wanted to make you feel good, and boy, did he do just that.

You were learning he had a thing for mornings—when you were soft and pliant, and he could take his time with his mouth and fingers, it never being about him. It was an excellent way to start the day, and you were becoming spoiled.

One night while you were laying in bed, you asked about why sundresses riled him up so much, and he’d told you that he loved how you looked in them, and that he enjoyed how they made getting to some of his favorite parts easy.

“I’m doubting that we’re never going to get caught for public indecency,” you said.

“Then behave, and it won’t be a problem.”

You’d pouted.

You found another one of his weaknesses when you had gotten ready to leave the apartment.

It was late morning, the two of you spending most of your time in bed before you’d gotten up to start the day. Javi was already in the kitchen, and after you’d dressed, you made your way towards the only sounds in your apartment; the coffee maker percolating, the sounds of cooking, scraping in a pan, and was that eggs crackling?

You found Javi at the stove, his back to you, the material of his deep red button-up hugging his shoulders sinfully, seeing the lines of muscles beneath the fabric, your eyes lowering to his trim waist and the tight jeans that showed his tiny but very cute butt.

A smile tipped up on your lips as you walked over to him, wrapping your arms around his middle and kissing the back of his neck. You heard the spatula stop moving and felt him put a hand over yours, squeezing it gently.

“Hey, baby,” he said, a smile evident in his voice, making your body feel warm.

“Hello to you,” you replied, kissing a spot just behind his ear and feeling him shudder under you. “What are you making?” You asked, nipping at his earlobe.

“Fuck,” his voice came out thick. “Scrambled eggs and toast.”

You kissed his neck again.

“It smells good,” you said. “I could have made us breakfast.”

The spatula moved in the pan again, and a second later, you heard it being set on the countertop, Javi turning in your arms.

His hands cupped your jaw as he leaned in to seal his lips against yours, swallowing the surprised sound that escaped you.

“Wanted to make you breakfast,” he said when you parted, looking at you with those soft puppy dog eyes you adored.

You smiled at him, giving him a quick kiss.

“You’re so sweet.”

He returned the same expression and moved his head to take in your outfit, eyes moving down the length of you.

“You’re not wearing a dress,” he said, his hand moving down your side, fingers grazing over the material of your top until his hand grabbed a handful of your ass and made you giggle.

“With the marks on my neck, I thought it best not to scandalize the town.”

He frowned, looking down at your lower half.

“I wasn’t expecting these,” he said, hand rubbing over your covered asscheek. “They’re so tight.”

“They’re bike shorts. Princess Diana was a fashion icon.”

It was too hot to do the signature bicycle shorts with an oversized sweater look, so you paired your black shorts with a t-shirt. It wasn’t the sexiest look, but it was comfortable attire to walk around in.

He turned you, and you felt both of his big hands grab at the globes of your ass, making you laugh.

“There’s no panty line,” he said in a rough tone, voice going deeper. “Fuck, are you even wearing any?”

“I am.”

His thumbs hooked into the waistband, and you felt the cool air as he pulled them down, baring you to him.

“If that isn’t the prettiest fucking thing,” he rasped.

“I said I’d wear a thong for you,” you replied, smiling.

He crouched down, his hands grabbing at your flesh.

“And it’s even better than I imagined.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

You gasped when his mouth touched your asscheek, kissing your skin, before he sucked hard enough to leave a mark.

“Jesus, Javi,” you breathed.

He left one last sloppy kiss and softly bit at you.

“Fucking gorgeous,” he said, standing back up. He tugged the spandex into place before his hands spun you to face him when he was done. “I like the shorts,” he said with a crooked grin.

“You like the thong.”

“That too.”

“The eggs are burning.”

His eyes went wide.

“Shit,” he smacked your ass. “You distracted me.”

He turned back towards the stove as you laughed.

“They’re… salvageable,” he said.

You peeked around him to look in the pan, seeing some parts definitely cooked a little more than was needed.

“Eh, some ketchup, and you won’t even notice.”

He huffed out an amused breath, looking over at you with a smile.

“I think you’re right.”

“I know I’m right.”

“That you are.”

“Do you need help with anything?” You asked.

“Could you get the coffee ready?”

“I can do that,” you answered with a nod, giving him a quick kiss before heading towards where you kept the coffee cups.

You heard the pan being moved off the burner and Javi moving about behind you as you got out the mugs and poured the coffee. You knew he took his black, so you got what you needed for yours, handing Javi the ketchup while you were in the fridge, and by the time you were done with the coffees, he had the plates on your dining table and was coming over to grab his cup.

The eggs didn’t look too bad, and the toast was made the way you liked it.

Your eyes met Javi’s across the table from you, him watching intently and looking a little nervous.

“I’m sorry about the eggs,” he frowned.

You waved away his words.

“Don’t be sorry. They’re really not that bad.” You grabbed the ketchup, popped the cap, and squeezed the amount you wanted onto your eggs. “I’m sorry I distracted you with my ass.” You grinned at him, passing the condiment, Javi taking it.

He rubbed the thumb of his free hand over his bottom lip, eyes dark.

“Never apologize for that,” he said with a wink. “It won’t be the last time.”

You laughed.

“Good to know.”

He looked like he realized something, eyes widening as he gulped.

“You’re going to wear those in public?” He asked.

Your eyebrows furrowed.

“Yes? Is that a problem?”

“No,” he said quickly, shaking his head. “I just don’t know if I’ll be able to keep my hands off you.”

“When can you ever keep your hands off of me?” You asked, pointing your fork at him.

He chuckled.

“Never.”

You watched him open the bottle and squeeze some sauce onto his food.

“Exactly. I expect some kind of pawing. If there wasn’t any, I’d be concerned.”

He laughed.

“Okay. Eat your eggs,” Javi ordered, pointing the now closed ketchup bottle at your plate before setting it down on the table.

“Yes, sir,” you replied.

You saw his throat work as you took a bite.

“Good girl,” he rasped, and you didn’t want to admit that you felt a tingle move down your spine at his words.

Breakfast was eaten, coffee was drunk, and the kitchen was cleaned up, the dishes placed in the sink to take care of later. Soon, the two of you were leaving the apartment, the sky outside blue and the temperature hot, but not quite unbearable, with it only being a little after eleven in the morning.

Javi opened the passenger door to his truck for you, offering a hand to help you into the cab and stealing a kiss, before shutting it and walking around to the driver’s side. You moved into the middle seat, Javi smiling as he got in, grabbing his aviators from the dashboard after he’d buckled in, setting them perfectly on the bridge of that nose you loved.

He turned towards you.

“You ready?” He asked.

He looked so handsome with the first few buttons of his shirt undone, showing a glimpse of his chest, and a hickey on his neck, making your blood sing that you were the one who put it there. You liked how the sunglasses looked on him, still able to see his eyes through the dark lenses and how they framed his face.

God, he’s beautiful.

You plucked the aviators from his face, seeing his eyebrows furrow as you put them on, everything dimming. You eyed yourself in the rearview mirror.

“I don’t know if I can pull these off,” you frowned. “Like you look hot as fuck, I don’t know how you make aviator sunglasses so sexy, but me? I’m not too sure.”

His hand pulled on your chin to make you look at him, a smile on his lips.

“You’re very cute,” he said.

“You’re just saying that.”

“No, I’m not. You look sexy, too. I’d fuck you in nothing but them,” he said confidently.

You felt your body heat.

“I get the feeling you’d fuck me if I was wearing a trash bag as a dress.”

He smirked.

“You’re not wrong. I’d fuck you wearing anything or nothing at all,” he shrugged.

“A clown outfit?” You asked with a raised eyebrow.

He chuckled.

“The red nose stays on,” he replied, closing the distance between you, his lips pressing against yours, and you reciprocated eagerly, forgetting your train of thought when he licked into your mouth, swallowing your moan. Your hands cupped his face, focused on how his tongue was moving against yours, and the breadth of his palm cradling your cheek, taking up so much space.

He was the only thought on your brain—Javier—the way he overloaded your senses, breathing him in, tasting him, feeling him; nothing else in the world mattered but him when his mouth was on yours. Your lungs finally ached enough for oxygen that you had to break away, gasping in air to catch your breath, and Javi was in a similar state, the two of you grinning like love-sick fools.

“Didn’t know the thought of me dressed like a clown would rile you up so much,” you panted.

His breath sputtered as he started laughing, eyes crinkling, pressing his forehead against yours.

Javi’s hand moved off your face and to your thigh, pinching it and making you squeak.

“That didn’t rile me up,” he finally said after calming down.

“Thank god, I mean, I’m adventurous, but clowns freak me the fuck out.”

He made an amused sound, kissing you quickly.

“We’ll avoid that then,” he said. He looked you in the eyes. “Adventurous?” His eyebrow lifted in question.

You shrugged.

“Yeah? I’ll try new things in bed as long as I talk it out first, and it’s not excruciatingly painful or gross.” You made a face.

“I’ll remember that,” he said with a nod.

“I’m sure you will,” you winked.

He smiled.

“And I’m the same,” Javi said. “Tell me what you want, and I’ll try.”

“Glad we’re on the same page.” You took off the aviators and carefully put them back onto his face. “Look at you, hotter than Maverick,” you said, poking the tip of his nose.

“You think I’m hotter than, what’s his name? Tom Cruise?” He asked slowly, eyebrows in his hairline.

“Oh, babe. Absolutely zero competition. Would fuck you in a heartbeat.” You saw his chest puff out a little, making you laugh. “Let’s get going before your ego becomes too big for your truck to contain.”

He smiled, kissing you softly.

“You said I was hotter than Tom fucking Cruise.” He seemed to be delighted by this, and it made you giggle. His focus turned to the front, turning his keys that he’d already put into the ignition, bringing the vehicle to life, and shifting it into reverse.

The radio turned on, volume low, the air conditioning cranked high. His arm went behind you on the back of the seat as he looked over his shoulder to pull out of the parking space.

“Sometime in the late eighties, early nineties,” he said. “Maybe ’89 or ‘90?” His attention turned back to the front as he put the truck in gear and started driving. “All the American women who worked at the embassy were obsessed with that asshole. I think I saw a fucking magazine at one point proclaiming him the sexiest man alive. Bullshit,” he scoffed.

“1990,” you said.

He looked over at you.

“What?” He asked.

“Tom Cruise was People’s Sexiest Man Alive in 1990.”

He frowned.

“How do you know that?”

“It wasn’t only American women in Colombia who were obsessed with him. People were crazy about him here too, still are, actually,” you said matter-of-factly. Your eyes met again. “Even if some magazine called him the sexiest man alive almost ten years ago, I’d still choose you with zero hesitation, and I know for a fact you can make me come. Sure, Tom Cruise is attractive, but I honestly don’t believe he knows where the clit is.”

He grinned.

“I do know how to make you come and where your clit is.” There was that chest puffing again as he focused back on the road, and you laughed.

“Yeah, you do. Zero in on it with laser focus. Tom Cruise could never.”

“He fucking couldn’t,” Javi agreed.

“Your ego.” You shook your head.

“You like it,” he said, looking over at you with a smirk.

“I really do.”

Mall del Norte was built in the late seventies, and had been a big fucking deal for Laredo, giving the town access to a large department store, and a movie theater that had more than one screen. Other retailers came in, making it so you didn’t have to drive two hours to San Antonio or McAllen to shop at their malls when you couldn’t find what you needed at the mom-and-pop shops or local specialty stores.

People had worried the smaller shops Laredo had relied on for years would go out of business once Mall del Norte was built, but the community wasn’t big about change—people supported the local places first before branching out to the mall, but as the years had gone on, the newer generations preferred the large department store and retail shops simply for the ease of finding what you needed all in one place.

Javier’s father still shopped local and had known many of the owners for years.

Javier liked going to Sears and being able to pick up socks and new music or a movie. If he browsed, he usually found more shit he didn’t know he needed.

Cielito said she wanted to buy him sweatpants, so they were going to the department store.

It was Sunday, and most people not working attended church functions, which meant the mall was dead; only a handful of people were shopping, the two of them included. The stores were run by bored teenagers all working their summer jobs, who wouldn’t bother them unless they made an effort to get their attention, the kid’s noses stuck in magazines or gossiping with their coworkers.

He held Cielito’s hand as they walked into Sears, Javier taking off his sunglasses and hanging them in the dip of his shirt, the two of them heading straight for the men’s department.

She let go of him to browse a rack of shirts.

“Who is wearing a turtleneck in the middle of June in Texas?” She asked, showing him the white sweater.

His arms were crossed over his chest as he smiled.

“Someone with amazing fucking air conditioning.”

She seemed to think it over.

“The hospital does get chilly. I’ll allow it,” she said, putting it back. She continued looking through hangers. “There is a lot of flannel here.”

“Big ranching and farming community,” he replied with a shrug.

She looked at him, lips curving up in a smile.

“Javi, baby, are you telling me you own flannel?”

“Yeah?”

“So, you could make my lumberjack fantasies come true?”

“Your what?” He asked.

“You know, a strong man wearing flannel and chopping wood, whisks you away to his cabin in the mountains and has his way with you.”

He frowned.

“We live in Texas. Southern Texas.”

“Is that a no to the flannel and wood chopping?” She was giving him big eyes.

“If you want me to die of fucking heatstroke, I can do it,” he closed the distance, leaning in to speak in her ear. There wasn’t really a reason to, with no one else around, but he liked how her breath caught in her throat at his proximity. “Or we can skip the manual labor, and I’ll fuck you wearing the shirt. You want that? Me fucking you however I want?”

“Yes,” she breathed.

He kissed her cheek, his hand squeezing her ass before stepping back, seeing her pupils expand.

“I’ll bring over one of my flannels,” he winked.

“You’re too good to me,” she smiled.

“Whatever my girl wants, she gets.”

That made her smile bigger, and his heart skip a beat. He moved back into her space, leaning in to press his lips against hers, his hand holding the back of her head.

She was still smiling when he pulled back, his face mirroring hers.

“Any other requests?” He asked.

“I can’t think of anything, but let’s look around.”

He nodded, following her as she started walking.

She pulled some athletic pants off a rack—black with white stripes down the sides.

“You could use a pair of these,” she said, holding them towards him so he could see.

“Those aren’t sweatpants,” he said slowly.

“No, but they’re tearaway, and with your aversion to underwear around me, and our habit of ending up naked, imagine the ease of just tearing those bad boys off and getting right to it. Sex pants.”

He laughed, shaking his head.

“I’m not getting sex pants,” he chuckled.

She pouted.

“I guess they wouldn’t be very practical,” she said, putting them back and moving to where the grey sweatpants were stacked on a shelf. She eyed the sizes, grabbing a pair from the middle, holding them out, letting them unfold, and turned to press them against his waist. “Yes, these will do for that cute butt of yours.”

“Your obsession,” he chuckled.

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Says the man who gave me a hickey on my ass. Pot calling the kettle, babe.”

He laughed, hands grabbing onto said ass to pull her into him, leaning down to kiss her.

“A perfect pair,” he murmured against her lips.

“We are,” she replied.

He lightly smacked her ass.

“What else did you want to get?” He asked when he pulled back to look at her.

“Is there anything you need?” She asked.

“Just the sweats.”

“Want to look around?”

“Yeah, we can do that.”

She smiled.

“Great!” She grabbed his hand, holding the sweatpants in the other as they started walking, stopping at a display. She grabbed a black cowboy hat and looked at him inquisitively. “You have the flannel, and you’re a rancher—”

“Hats aren’t my thing,” he finished for her.

She set it on his head.

“I don’t know, babe, I’m kind of feeling it.”

He chuckled.

“Want me to wear my boots, too?”

Her eyes went wide.

“You’ve got fucking cowboy boots?”

“I work on a ranch in Texas. I’m a Texan.”

She nodded her head like it all made sense.

“A requirement of being born here, probably got your first pair right out of the womb.”

“I think I was five? Maybe four? I was helping out Pop very young.”

“The thought of a tiny you dressed like a little cowboy is absolutely delightful.”

He smiled.

“Dad will probably pull out the photo albums when we go to the ranch. You’ll get to see photo evidence.”

She looked surprised.

“You want me to meet your dad?” She asked.

His eyebrows furrowed, and he suddenly felt unsure.

“Yeah? Sometime in the next couple of weeks. Do you want to meet him?”

“Yes!” She said quickly. “I’d love to.”

He smiled.

“I’ll let him know. He’s dealing with a bunch of shit building a new barn, so we’ll figure out a day.”

“I could make dinner?”

“At the ranch?”

She nodded.

“Yes, if you’re both comfortable with that.”

“We’d love it—we’ll have to bring over what you need.”

“That can be easily arranged,” she smiled.

He took off the hat as he leaned in to kiss her, then set it on her head, giving her an appraising look.

“Yeah,” he nodded.

Her eyebrow rose.

“I know that look. In just the cowboy hat?”

“In anything, or nothing at all,” he smirked.

She playfully hit his chest as she giggled.

“You’re ridiculous.”

He ducked his head to get under the hat's brim to kiss her, having to grab it before it fell.

“Only for you,” he said against her lips and felt her smile.

He put the hat back on the display after they parted, and retook her hand, following as she walked around, looking at different things, going through the electronics, her thumbing through CDs, and browsing movies, the two of them talking about things they were looking at.

As they looked at kitchen stuff, he was curious about something after she’d mentioned her mom loving a new blender for Christmas. He knew a little about her family, listening to her stories about growing up and that they still lived in her home state.

“Do you visit them often?” He asked as she investigated a mixing bowl.

She looked at him in confusion.

“Visit who?”

“Your family? You mentioned your mother.”

“Oh!” She smiled, setting the ceramic down. “December.”

“December?”

“Yes, every December during the week with the cheapest flights.”

“You see your family once a year?”

“Yes? Any more, and I’d go crazy. Don’t get me wrong, I love them all very much, but a week in person once a year is enough. Plus, I talk to them a couple of times a week.” She shrugged. She picked up some measuring cups. “They’re going to love meeting you.”

He gulped, nerves settling in his stomach.

“You want me to meet your family?” He asked.

Her eyes met his.

“Of course I do, silly! God, if you’re over when mom calls, she’ll probably want to talk to you. I’m sorry.”

“I’ll talk to her,” he said with a nod. He didn’t know what he’d talk to her about, but he wanted to try and make a good impression. Older women tended to like him if he used his charm, except Mrs. Hernandez.

She put the measuring cups back and leaned in to kiss him.

“You’re sweet,” she said.

“I’m glad you think so.”

“I do,” she smiled, grabbing his hand and tugging him down the aisle.

They ended up in the home furnishings department, Cielito looking at the assortment of sheets.

“While we’re here I should probably pick up a spare set.”

She was touching the different materials.

“Is there something wrong with the ones you have?” He asked.

Javier thought her bed was comfortable and liked sleeping in her sheets. They were nice and felt good on his body.

Her head turned towards him, smirking.

“I bought two brand new sets when I moved in, and with how many times I’m washing them, I need another to put in rotation.”

“Oh. I’m sorry?” He offered, scratching the back of his neck.

“You’re not.”

He smiled.

“I’m not. Can I buy them?”

Her eyebrow rose.

“You don’t need to buy me sheets.”

He frowned.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive.”

Her attention went back to the shelves, eyeing over the options. She picked up some that were deep red with a black floral pattern, rubbing her fingers over the material, with the sweatpants hanging on her arm.

“I like these,” she said. “Not too satiny, so we won’t die of heat. The pattern is cute, and I know your favorite color is red,” she showed them to him. “What do you think, babe?”

She wanted his opinion on her bedding? He felt his chest constrict, swallowing hard.

“You, uh, care what I think about your sheets?” Javier asked.

Her eyebrows creased.

“Yes? We’re both going to sleep in them, so your opinion matters. Do you like this texture?” She pushed it closer to him, and he touched his fingers against it, feeling the soft fabric. “It sort of feels like what I have now, but these feel more crisp and will keep us cool at night. What are you thinking? Do you like them, or should we go with a darker color?”

Javier was feeling overwhelmed by these simple questions.

The sheets he currently slept on at his dad’s had been bought by his mother when he was still living at home—those and the spares were all purchased by her with no input from him. When he lived in Colombia, his apartments came pre-furnished, and the various cleaning ladies who’d tended to them always ensured his bedding was washed or changed. He didn’t even know where the spare sets were kept. The months he’d lived with Lorraine, he sure as fuck didn’t have a say or was allowed an opinion. No one had ever asked his thoughts, and for all his life, he’d just slept on what was provided; even if they were a little scratchy or too warm, he just went with whatever there was. His throat was feeling tight, heart hammering in his chest, that Cielito cared about such a small thing to ensure his comfort and make him feel even more welcome in her home and life.

“I’m sorry,” she said, pulling the sheets close to her chest. His eyes met hers, and she looked embarrassed. “Was it too much? I can just pick whatever if you don’t have any opinions,” she turned to set them down, but his hand shot out, stopping her.

She turned her head to meet his gaze.

“It’s not too much,” he said. “I’ve just never been asked before.”

“Oh,” she replied softly. “Did you like these?” She asked.

“I think what you currently have is nice, so if they’re similar, I’ll like them.”

“Do you want to touch the others and see if there’s something you like better?”

“I don’t know shit about bedding,” he answered truthfully.

She smiled.

“Then I guess I’ll have to teach you. I feel like Yoda teaching Luke in the ways of the force—always showing you new skills.”

“You used a lot of words I understood individually, but when you put them together made no fucking sense.”

“Master Yoda? Luke Skywalker? Star Wars?”

“Those weird space movies from, what? The eighties?”

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes like she was composing herself.

She looked at him.

“Did you call Star Wars weird space movies?”

“Yeah? That’s what they are. Never watched that shit.”

A look of shock came over her face.

“You’ve never seen Star Wars?!” She exclaimed.

He frowned.

They never interested him, and then he was in Colombia and too busy working to go to the movies. He’d heard about them; everyone had heard about them. He’d just never watched them. He was partial to cop movies—Die Hard, Lethal Weapon—in the last five years, he saw a couple of good ones he’d liked—Heat, Fargo—he’d also liked those movies from the eighties with the archeologist who wore the fedora and had a whip, a thought came to him.

“Wasn’t the guy in uh, what the fuck were they called?” He paused. “Indiana Jones! Wasn’t he in those Star War movies?” He asked.

“Star Wars, and yes, Harrison Ford is in them both.”

“Harrison Ford,” he nodded. “He’s been in some good shit. I watched one last year where he played the president.”

“Air Force One.”

His eyes narrowed.

“Have you seen every movie he’s been in?”

She gave him a smile that said he probably wouldn’t like her answer.

“I have seen a good chunk of his filmography. Harrison Ford in Star Wars awakened something in me, Carrie Fisher, too,” she said offhandedly.

He frowned, and she started speaking again.

“If I had to choose between sex with Harrison Ford or you, I’d choose you. I’d choose you every time, no matter what. You’re my dream man,” she said, sounding fondly exasperated.

Javier smiled.

“Really?” He asked.

“Yes, really, now we need to circle back. You’ve never seen Star Wars?”

“No,” he shook his head.

“Will you watch them with me?” She looked hopeful.

He chuckled.

“I’ll watch anything with you.”

She smiled brightly.

“Excellent. We will right this wrong and introduce you to space wizards, smugglers, princesses, and bounty hunters.”

“Sounds fucking insane.”

“It’s so good. Trust me.”

“I do.”

She leaned in to kiss him.

“Okay, let me show you the different types of sheets, and you can tell me what you like.’

He smiled at her.

“Sounds good, Cielito.”

Javier was given a lesson on the different fabrics, what times of the year they were best suited for, if they breathed and stayed cool, and he’d laughed when she also advised on traction during sex—silk was out. He’d ended up going with her original pick, based on how they felt and all of the other reasons she’d provided, and as a bonus, they were his favorite color which made him feel warm that she’d remembered.

With the sheets chosen, they looked around some more, Javi carrying the bedding as they held hands, until something caught his eye.

“Can you hold these for a second, baby?” He asked, handing Cielito the sheets.

“Sure.”

He eyed the decorative pillows on display, measuring them in his mind, picking one up, and feeling the thickness.

“These are perfect,” he mused. He looked at her. “Which two of these do you like, Cielito?”

There were four different patterns.

“Oh, they’re really nice, but you don’t need to buy me pillows.”

“I do need to buy them for you. They’ll fit nicely, but you get to choose.”

She frowned.

“Fit nicely? I’m not sure they’ll go with what’s on the couch—”

“They’re not for the couch,” he said.

She looked confused.

“I don’t put decorative pillows on my bed—they just end up on the floor.”

He sighed.

“Cielito, baby, they won’t be for decoration.”

“What will they—” Her eyes widened when she realized, and he grinned. “Javi, you’re buying us sex pillows to keep the bed frame from hitting the wall?”

“Yeah?” He nodded. “They’re the perfect size, and I think Mrs. Hernandez would be grateful.”

“I cannot believe you right now.”

“Really?” His eyebrow rose. “The sex pants?”

She raised her chin.

“I stand by the points I made.”

He shook his head, smiling.

“I really fucking like you,” he said.

She smiled at him.

“I really fucking like you, too. Go with two of the purple ones,” she pointed.

He nodded, grabbing them and taking the sheets back from her. He’d juggled everything into one arm to be able to hold her hand as they continued through the rest of the store, making easy conversation up to the cash register.

“Let me get it all,” he said.

She glared at him.

“I said I was buying you sweatpants, and I’m getting the sheets. You’re not buying them.”

“But—”

“Javier, no. You can get the pillows, and that’s it.”

He frowned.

“Will you let me buy you ice cream?” He asked.

Her eyes softened, smiling at him.

“Yes. Ice cream sounds wonderful.”

He returned the same look, leaning in to whisper against her ear.

“Good girl.”

She sucked in a breath, and he preened as he straightened.

“You’re a fucking menace,” she breathed.

“You like it,” he smirked.

“I really fucking do.”

With their things purchased, and everything placed in a large plastic shopping bag, Javier carried it in one hand, with Cielito’s hand in the other as they walked into the mall and headed for the small food court.

They stopped in the ice cream shop, browsing the assortment of flavors, while the young man working stayed at the cash register, thumbing through a magazine, not even acknowledging their existence.

“Let me guess what you’re going to get,” Cielito said, looking at him with bright eyes.

He smirked, curious about what she’d assume.

“Go ahead.”

She let go of his hand, turning her body to face him as she eyed him up and down, and his eyebrow rose.

“How is checking me out going to tell you what ice cream I like?” He asked.

“Trying to get the vibes and really visualize, you know?”

“That just sounds like you're picturing me naked.”

“Always.” She winked. “Okay, right off, nothing insanely sweet, bubblegum and cotton candy are out, along with anything else in that vein and stuff with fruit. You said ice cream, so no fro-yo. You like to drink coffee, not eat it, so no to that. Mint is out, too.”

“Why is mint out? I could like mint.”

She snorted.

“No, it’s too out there. You’re more of a traditional man in the sense that you like to stick to what you know, which means chocolate and vanilla will be primary.”

She wasn’t wrong so far, and he was impressed.

“You don’t like them plain, though,” she said. “Which means chocolate bases are out. Chocolate with other things added is a no go for you. You’re vanilla,” she said matter-of-factly.

He huffed out an amused breath.

“I’m not vanilla,” he said.

“In that sense, no. Definitely not.” She smirked. ”But with your ice cream, you like that it’s not too much and makes a great base. So,” she moved to stand in front of a section. “Chocolate chip is too predictable. Peanut butter cup is also a no. You’re a vanilla with nuts guy, but are you a maple walnut or pralines and cream person?”

Javier couldn’t believe how spot-on her analysis had been.

She gave him another once over.

“Yeah, back to the not-too-sweet thing. Apologies to Canada, but you like pralines and cream.”

He was stunned. Over thirty fucking flavors, and she’d gotten it on the first try. How did she know him that well?

“You fucking profiled me,” he said.

“Was I right?” She asked with a big smile.

“Yeah. How the fuck?”

She made an excited sound moving into his space, throwing her arms around his neck, and kissing him, Javier’s free hand landing on her back to pull her closer to him as he kissed her harder.

He knew he’d fallen hard, he was gone on her, and his feelings grew stronger each day. She’d broken down his walls and taken up residence, filling him to the brim with her care and affection, sanding away his roughness to make him soft. Everything she did for him, or showed him, made him feel wanted, cared for, and adored, and all of it stemmed from some deeper feeling that, when Javier thought of what it was, he could only describe it as love.

Only four letters, and it was the biggest fucking word in his brain.

It wasn’t something thrown around easily or had even crossed his mind in years prior. He’d never been in love before. Sure, he had feelings and cared about the different women in his past, but it had never been more than just lust—he wasn’t thinking about commitment or futures; it was all in the moment.

He knew Cielito felt some kind of love for him because all of those deeply intense feelings she showed in actions and words, he understood—because he felt them too, and it scared him to death, caring about someone like this, but then she’d make sure he liked the sheets they’d sleep in, or guess his favorite ice cream, and he knew he’d chosen the right person—the fear subsiding, for the time being, only to rear it’s head again in his weakest moments.

It was far too soon to say it out loud—breathing life into those four letters meant no turning back, and there was still time for him to fuck this all up. So, he’d wait, let what they had grow into something more substantial, and know what was really behind her words and actions, and he’d do the same for her, show her how he felt without saying that one word, and hope she understood.

“Are the two of you going to just make out or order ice cream?” The worker said, interrupting Javier’s thoughts. The two of them broke apart, and he glared at the kid, watching him shrink under his gaze. “It was a valid question, dude,” the teen said, putting up his hands in a placating gesture.

A lot of the kids working, Javier didn’t know based on looks and names alone, all too young and raised while he’d been away—he’d know their parents and grandparents, though.

Javier looked at Cielito.

“You know what you want?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. “Thought I’d get a cone with pralines and cream. It’s my favorite.”

She leaned in to kiss him before turning on her heel to place their order.

Javier was stuck in place. His mind whirling, going over her profile of him, every little thing she’d said, and all of it could be true about her too.

They really were a perfect fucking pair.

He chuckled to himself, shaking his head.

When he smiled, he felt the dimple in his cheek, watching her take one of the cones and talk to the kid who was scooping the ice cream. He moved toward her, taking up the space behind her and kissing her hair. She looked over her shoulder at him.

“Whatcha doing back there?” She asked.

“Waiting for my ice cream.”

He kissed her head again.

She turned her attention back to the worker grabbing the next cone, and Javier fished out his wallet from his pocket, quickly paying and putting it away, accepting the ice cream from Cielito.

Javier hung the shopping bag from his wrist to hold the cone with his hand, while his other wrapped around her waist, low on her hip, as they walked out of the ice cream shop, licking their cones, making small talk as they meandered and looked at the different stores, until they ended up in a bookshop.

He knew she liked to read—the bookshelf in her living room was overcrowded with many books, some with well-worn spines that she’d clearly read multiple times, ranging from crime mysteries to fantasy. He’d been intrigued by the assortment of romance novels with the pictures of half-naked men and women on the covers.

They were standing side-by-side at a table just inside the shop, a sign indicating the books were imported international best-sellers. She’d picked up one with a cartoon of a train and a boy on the front, currently reading the back.

“This looks interesting,” she mused.

“Is it a children’s book?” He asked.

“It’s fantasy? Kid finding out he’s secretly a wizard. I’m into it.” She did her best while holding her cone to open the book to the first chapter, holding it with one hand while she continued to lick her ice cream.

He sensed someone was watching them and looked past her to see a young college-aged man standing a little ways away at a shelf, eyes on Cielito. It wouldn’t have been an issue, but the guy was blatantly checking her out, or more leering. Javier could read the man’s dirty thoughts clearly on his face.

What the fuck?

Annoyed with the disrespect, his eyes narrowed, glaring. He knew she was attractive, and the outfit made her look sexy, but Javier was standing right next to her, his hand on her hip, showing they were clearly together, and he didn’t like how the kid was looking at her like a piece of meat—he was honestly surprised the guy wasn’t drooling.

She’s my girlfriend, asshole, as if she’d ever date a college boy.

Javier paused, frowning to himself. Would she date someone college-aged? Did she want someone young and handsome? She’d said Javier was more attractive than Tom Cruise, and that guy had to be a little younger than him. Harrison Ford was definitely older. She said he was her dream man, but if she had the option… Doubt was creeping up inside him, along with dread that there was a possibility he could lose her, his throat getting tight, swallowing hard.

What is happening to me?

It finally registered what he was feeling, and shock hit him like a punch to the gut—he was jealous, pure and simple. He’d never been a jealous guy, that wasn’t who he was, but the thought of Cielito with someone else made that uncomfortable feeling well up inside him.

“What’s wrong?” Cielito asked, stealing him from his thoughts.

Their eyes met, a frown on her lips.

“Nothing,” he answered.

She turned her head to look in the direction of the man, and Javi looked too, seeing the guy wink at her, and anger flared in him.

“Ew, what the fuck,” she looked back at Javier. “Kiss me,” she said.

He locked eyes with her.

“What?” He asked.

“Show that douchebag I’m happily taken and kiss me.”

He couldn’t help but smile, pride swelling in his chest as he leaned in and kissed her hard. He grabbed her ass as he deepened the kiss, tasting vanilla, caramel, and the sweet nuttiness of the praline pecans on her tongue, even better than his own ice cream. He swallowed her moans as their tongues slid together, and he kissed the breath from her lungs, not caring they were in the middle of a bookstore; the only thing that mattered was her, and the fact she wanted him, and for everyone to know.

Those earlier doubts disappeared, replaced with happiness—pure joy. She was his person, and he was hers, and everything was right in the world.

They were breathing heavily when they parted, both smiling.

“You think he got the hint?” Javier asked, squeezing her ass.

She giggled, both of them looking to find the guy had disappeared.

“I think he definitely did.” She turned back towards him. “Are you feeling better, or do you want to leave?”

“Was I obvious?” He frowned.

“With the way you were glaring at the guy, I assumed you were plotting his murder.”

“No murder, just annoyed,” he replied.

“I’m sorry he made you feel like that,” she frowned.

Javier sighed.

“Don’t be sorry, Cielito. You made it better.”

She smiled.

“Killed two birds with one stone—made that asshole uncomfortable with public displays of affection, and made you feel better with your tongue down my throat.”

Javier chuckled.

“Did you want to go or look around some more?” She asked.

She had the book she’d been reading closed in one hand, her ice cream in the other, licked all the way down to the cone.

“We can keep looking,” he answered.

“Great! I want to check out a couple of things, and get this one,” she held up the hardcover.

“I’ll follow you,” he smiled.

They finished their cones as they walked, and she browsed, coming up to the crime mysteries section.

“Do I need to be worried?” He asked, reading the back of one of the books. “A lot of unsolved murders.”

She snorted.

“Only thing you have to worry about is me falling head over heels for you, which, too late,” she leaned up to kiss his cheek. “I just like seeing if I can figure out the mystery before the end,” she shrugged, holding a book in her hand and looking at the back. She nodded to herself, setting it on top of the hardcover she was already carrying.

They moved further into the store, passing the romance section, and a book caught his attention, plucking it from the shelf.

“Baby, is this what you meant by your lumberjack fantasies?” He showed her the cover of a burly man with a beard wearing flannel, holding a half-naked woman. He started reading the back. “She was lost in the woods, and he found her. A snow storm is brewing, and he’ll have to think of a way to keep her warm.”

“Oh, they’re gonna fuck,” she said, grabbing the book and adjusting the hardbacks she already had to free up both hands to turn through the pages of the new one until she found what she was looking for, eyes scanning the page. “The smuts pretty good,” she mused.

“You’re reading porn?” He whispered, eyes wide.

She looked at him.

“Yeah? Gotta take a test drive, you know?” Her eyes turned back to the book. “Yes, this will be coming home with me. Good find, babe,” she said, leaning in to kiss him on the lips.

“Do you read porn often?” He asked.

“Occasionally. It’s good for research,” she winked.

“Research?”

“Yeah. Sometimes you read something, and you want to try it out.”

“Can I help?” He asked quickly.

“Absolutely,” she grinned.

He smiled.

“Did you want to look at any more of these?” He pointed at the section.

She laughed.

“I think that one is enough for this trip. What kinds of books do you like?” She asked, holding all of her finds in one hand and taking his with the other to pull him down the aisle.

“World history, some biographies, on occasion true crime, but I’ve lived a lot of shit I don’t want to read about.”

“That makes sense,” she said, looking over her shoulder at him. They stopped in front of the world history section. “Anything calling to you?” She asked, releasing his hand to point at the shelves.

He looked over everything, pulling a book from the shelf and checking it out before putting it back and grabbing another. The one he was holding seemed interesting—about how inequality in the modern world came to be, he nodded to himself.

“I’ll get this,” he said.

“Did you want to see if you wanted anything else?” She asked.

He shook his head.

“I’m okay. I know it’s not exciting like lumberjack porn or unsolved murder.”

She laughed.

“But it’s big brain, and that’s very sexy,” she said.

“You think so?”

“Oh, yeah. I think I got everything I need. My to-read pile is already atrocious, and I shouldn’t add anything else to it.”

He chuckled.

“Okay, Cielito. Let’s get out of here.”

When you both returned to your apartment, you put your books onto your bookshelf and Javi’s on the table next to his side of the bed. The sheets were stored away, and the pillows put into place, Javi making you lay on the mattress to demonstrate the effectiveness, which led to some very intense making out.

You were now sitting on the couch, flipping through the channels on your television for something to watch, while Javi changed into his sweatpants.

He came out of your bedroom, and your head turned towards him, watching him walk by as he went to the kitchen, seeing he was shirtless, and the bulge in the sweats making your eyes go wide.

“You want anything to drink, Cielito?” Javi called from the kitchen.

It took you a second to respond.

“Water,” you finally answered.

You heard the sound of a cabinet opening and the faucet running and turning off, Javi walking out a few minutes later with two cups in his hands. When he walked in front of the couch, and you finally got a good look, your mouth fell open, eyes widening. He wasn’t wearing underwear, and you could see the distinct imprint of his dick through the material. You felt your body heat, arousal pooling in your belly. The sweatpants might have been a bad idea if he was going to walk around like this. How were you supposed to get anything done? He set the glasses onto coasters on the table, and your hands reached out to grab his hips, pulling on him.

“Stand in front of me,” you said, your voice coming out breathier than you meant.

His eyebrow rose as he looked at you but complied, moving so he was right in front of you, and his dick was at eye level. Your hands touched his thighs, moving up the strong muscles as you nuzzled your head against his groin.

“Fuck, baby,” Javi breathed.

You could feel him stirring under you, growing thicker, and you mouthed at the prominent bulge, making him moan, his hand landing on your head.

“You, fuck, you really like these?” He asked.

You looked up at him through your lashes.

“I do.”

You mouthed at him more, turning the fabric dark, as he got fully hard, hearing him groan above you. You were already wet, aching for him to be inside you. Javi couldn’t take the teasing anymore, pushing you to lay down on the couch as he crawled on top of you, settling his hips between your thighs, crushing his mouth against yours in a searing kiss.

He was hard, and you could feel him through all the layers when he ground against your core, making you gasp when he rubbed against your clit. The only thing on your brain was his lips on yours and his hips pushing against you, the stimulation exquisite as he set up a rhythm that had you moaning, feeling the coil winding in your belly, going tighter at tighter with each rock of his hips.

His lips came off yours, his hand tugging your shirt up your chest, pulling the cups of your bra down, and you moaned when he pulled a nipple into his hot mouth, swirling his tongue around it. He moved from one to the other, sending jolts of pleasure to your pussy, your hands tangled in his hair, getting closer and closer to your release as he continued to grind against you.

Everything was spurring you headlong towards your release, and then he sucked on your nipple harshly, and it had you toppling over the edge with a cry of his name, pleasure coursing through your body, the feeling electric.

His hips stopped moving, mouth coming off your breast as he lifted his head.

“Did you just come?” His voice was deeper, raspier.

It took you a second to reply, nodding your head and looking at him, seeing surprised lust-blown eyes staring back at you.

“Yes,” you breathed.

“Fuck,” he groaned, eyes closing for a second. He opened them again, and you could see how much he wanted you. “Can I—”

“Please,” you practically begged. “Fuck me, please.”

He was moving, sitting up, his hands grabbing the waistband of your shorts and underwear, tugging them both off in one smooth motion, and tossing them away. You could see a wet spot on his sweats from his arousal, and it made your cunt clench, watching as he pushed them down, just enough to free his straining cock—bobbing long, thick, hard, the head shiny with precum. He pumped himself a couple of times before moving over you again, one arm holding himself up while his other hand held his thick cock, brushing it against your clit, and through your slit, gathering the wetness. His eyes were on yours as he notched himself at your entrance, seeing the pure want and need in the dark pools—it was a heady thing, to be on the receiving end of that look, knowing what was to come. You licked your lips in anticipation, and his eyes followed the movement, his own tongue mimicking your motions.

He slowly pressed in, both of you moaning as he stretched you open and sheathed himself, the feeling of fullness overwhelming when his hips met yours. You watched his eyes close, face screwed up in pleasure as he held himself inside you, once he was to the hilt.

“Fuck,” he rasped. “You feel so fucking good.”

He leaned forward, resting his forehead against yours, sharing breaths.

“You feel so good inside me,” you moaned. “Feel so full.” You clenched around him, making him hiss. “Please, move, baby.”

He pulled almost all the way out until just the tip was inside, then pushed back in, making you cry out, your hands grabbing onto his shoulders for purchase. He didn’t go fast—setting a steady rhythm—long, hard thrusts that sent your head spinning. His mouth was back on yours, swallowing your moans as his tongue moved against yours, wanting to fill as much of you with him as possible. The two of you were lost in one another, lost in the push and pull, how he kept filling you over and over again, pushing you closer towards your orgasm. You could feel it building, your muscles tightening in your stomach, and your toes curling as he fucked you.

He adjusted your legs higher on his hips to change the angle, thrusts never faltering, when you gasped. The shift in position had him rubbing perfectly over your g-spot on each pass, that blinding pleasure hurtling you to your release, feeling it just in reach. Muffled moans and groans filled the air, and you could hear the wet sounds of him fucking into you, arousal dripping out around him, coating the insides of your thighs.

You were mewling, body tightening as the incredible pleasure built.

His lips came off yours.

“Come for me,” his voice was rough, deep. “Come on, baby.”

He slipped a hand between your bodies, circling your clit with practiced motions.

You loudly moaned his name as you came, pussy spasming, clenching hard around him. Waves of euphoria crashed over your body, your nails digging into his shoulders. You felt the pleasure flowing through your body, spreading into your limbs, engulfing your entire being.

“That’s my good girl,” he groaned. “So fucking good to me.”

He worked you through your high, his hips continuing their movements. You knew he could feel you fluttering, his head moving beside yours, mouth against your ear, hearing him panting as he sped up to chase his own high. He wasn’t far behind—his thrusts became erratic before pushing in hard, groaning your name as he came, his cock jerking inside you, making you moan as you felt him pulse and fill you with his release. His hips continued to move, grinding himself as deeply as possible until he hissed from the oversensitivity, gently collapsing on top of you, his face in the crook of your neck.

You liked the weight, it grounding you as your hands moved into his hair, scratching at his scalp, a content sigh falling from his lips.

“That’s nice,” he said, words a little slurred.

You hummed in agreement, moving your head to kiss his cheek, and he adjusted to land his lips on yours. He kissed you softly, tenderly, just for the sake of wanting to kiss you. The two of you stayed like that for a while, kissing as you came down from your highs together, basking in one another, until Javi broke the kiss, leaning up to look you in the eyes.

“The sweatpants were a good idea. I like them,” he said softly.

“I do, too,” you replied.

“I can tell. If I’d known they’d get you this hot and bothered, I would’ve bought a pair a long fucking time ago.”

“Your weaknesses are sundresses and bicycle shorts; mine are your tight jeans and grey sweatpants. The way I can see your dick in the sweats,” you sighed wistfully. “I’m sorry, babe, zero to horny in under five seconds.”

He laughed, eyes crinkling and dimple showing.

“Good to know,” he chuckled.

You frowned, hands moving to cup his cheeks.

“You’re not allowed to wear them outside the house,” you said.

“Why?”

“Because, baby, your dick is too big. Unless you’re wearing underwear, like it’s just there; I’m not the jealous or possessive type, but mine. I’ve called dibs, and I’m not sharing.”

He chuckled.

“Only here,” he leaned in to kiss you. “And you’re mine, too,” he said against your lips. “I’m not sharing.”

“Good. I don’t want anyone else but you,” your muffled voice said.

“I feel the same.”

“Wanna take a shower?”

He broke the kiss, perking up, and you smiled.

“Yes,” he nodded.

You giggled.

“Let’s go.”

You whimpered when he pulled out of you, Javi getting up from the couch, his hands grabbing your own to help you stand. He slapped your ass.

“Come on, Cielito,” he said, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards your bedroom.

Prev - Next

Thank you for reading! If you’d like to be tagged for this story, please fill out my taglist form in my bio, on my masterlist, or just let me know!

LTL Taglist: @theorganasolo @sparkleballs @nicolethered @whatfandomnow @lola766 @nessamc @vanemando15 @muffinengineer86 @fiscinthirst @melancholyy-hill @hnt-escape @sherala007 @jadesabre83 @rainbeaubrightchild @rebriddle @blub-senpai @pedrohoe04 @ncsls0515 @theherothesavior @captain-creampuff @javiersjeans @veryaverageapple @zetasaturno99 @amb11 @lovedbyth3sun @siidereeus @marvelousmermaid @mrszdjarin  @themarcusmoreno @woomen23 @enjoyourlattebitch @ms-loverman-066 @basement_jax

#pedro pascal #Javier peña #javier peña x reader #Javier peña/reader #javier peña fanfiction #narcos fanfiction #wheresarizona writes #learning to live series

[f0xgl0v3]

Octavian!

Do I know what I am going to write in this? Vaguely. More headcanons because I want to take a break from that rendering of Octavian because I want to work and make something better than putting effort into something I won’t be proud of or whatever.

Also I just want to keep talking about him but whatever,

Octavian never been outside of Camp Jupiter/New Rome is canon in my mind. There have been very few times he has been outside the little bubble, which were,

The Wolf House: where he really just stayed close to the house (obvi. Course I’d love to talk more about the exacts but since we get no information about the wolf house though it’d be a pretty good way to start SoN and then seamlessly blend us into a timeskip of the Gorgon chase but whatever- we are given no information about the wolf house either and aaaaa-) but the Wolf House Octavian mentality was survive through with his wits and try to survive enough to run out of there as soon as possible when he has the training done.

His quest: we get no information on it, but we know that he had to do a quest to become a Centurion (Can confirm this is a rule, check the Senate scene near the beginning, I believe it was Larry the legionnaire that yelled it) though we also, sadly, get no indication what this question was. But I’d like to introduce the idea that it was a duo quest with Michael and Octavian and they became Centurions together (I’ll probably re-read this and then add more on later) but I’d assume this Question also has them steeped pretty deep into the mythological side of the world and they didn’t get much down time. But what little of the mortal world Octavian saw he thought was pretty cool- though he still thinks New Rome looks better. (Because if anyone walks up to me and says the current era of architecture we’re in is better than anything that predates the freaking 1950’s is lying to me and trying to make me buy a house. We have fallen as a society when we started thinking ultra minimalist boring homes that are devoid of any depth or visual interest was the best route to go for our buildings. But that’s another rant from me for another day-)

Siege of Mt.Tam: they had to travel the smallest bit for this but again, didn’t interact with the mortal world much, they all stayed pretty self contained to the temporary camp and the mountain itself.

The cross country trip to go attack the Greeks: this is the one we’re shown in canon or whatever. But this was probably the most chaotic of the times that Octavian had been out of Camp. It was a lot to deal with, really overwhelming to be stuck with everyone with no where to move or anything. But this would be the most he would really interact with stuff like fast food chains, gas stations, all the stuff. And New York, that was a thing that happened. I believe they briefly passed through New York (we know that at some point they’re inside of New York from the Rachel scene if I remember properly) and that meant Hotels, it was similar enough to the barracks that it was fine. Though I think that the whiplash from New Rome to this made Octavian a lot more hesitant about stuff like these cities. He likes modern culture to some extent (insert another Build-a-bear joke. And if anyone asks, I believe he totally gets them delivered to calcedott tunnel instead of going out to a physical store. He has never had the experience and childlike splendor of making one that that needs to change.)

Anyway yeah. I would also like to say that Octavian is okay on a string instrument. However I would like to say that he put all his eggs into one figurative basket when he was a small child by learning one full song only. A 6 year old Octavian skipped over learning reading notes and whatever and just copying the motions until it sounded okay. He doesn’t really know how to read stuff like notes or whatever but has a pretty okay sense of Rhythm.

Don’t ask him to dance though. Octavian may look a little more elegant moving around or fighting but he is an actual newborn giraffe.

Okay that’s all I have for now. Have a rad time and I’ll get out the next couple passes of the CJ map.

#idk how to tag this #hehe :3 #pjo octavian #hoo octavian #okay bye #Octavian headcanon #seriously is it too much to ask to just get a little more information on Camp #the guidebook would’ve been a great opportunity to lay down anything that is actually informative but it’s just a short story #don’t get me wrong I think it’s great but like :[ #also they name the Janus kid freaking JANICE and no I won’t get over it that’s terrible #whether or not that’s terrible in the good or bad way I don’t know yet but Janice is silly

[yukirayu]

Towa’s Hair Color, and the Change Thereof (in Taku’s Route)

Here's yet another meta that connects Maya's influence on Towa with Taku's own influence on the younger man. This time, Towa's appearance takes center stage (for the most part) in this poorly-constructed analysis; though I did briefly discuss it in a previous meta. Do bear with me. 

No one's denying that Towa looks almost exactly like his mother. But inheriting her appearance has mostly been a curse on him. While he forgot about Maya after she died, the trauma she heaped on him had reached its peak by then. 

And so, his personality changed, with his experience in Euphoria causing his masochism and his promiscuity to manifest. At some point, it also caused him to be more temperamental. 

That stage of his life was also defined by him bleaching his hair. 

It's easy to assume he did that just because. He was in his more rebellious phase, and most unruly teenagers tend to dye their hair just to make clear their desire to not conform to anything or anyone.

In this case, that may only partly explain Towa's decision to dye his hair. 

Once again, he looks a lot like his mom. But even in the depths of his subconscious, he hates that very idea. And he was still young back then. He had yet to grow as numb as he is at present to whatever is haunting him but he could never truly recall. 

Back then, he could have looked at himself in the mirror and felt a greater sense of unease at his reflection as the afterimage of *that woman* comes close to manifesting in full in his eyes. 

So he may have felt that he had to change something about his looks. 

He didn't feel the need to mutilate his face until *after* he remembered Maya. Before that, she was a forgotten memory, even in his younger years where his trauma was still fresh and raw.

And so, he may have sought to change only the color of his hair. 

It had been at least a few years since he last bleached his hair up to the timeline the game takes place in. It's why only the edges of his hair remain bleached. 

This could represent the identity crisis that he doesn't know he has.

Whether he regains his memories or not, his mother's abuse and what she desired for him still has left a bad seed that can bloom into something beautiful yet undoubtedly ominous  - as shown best in Fujieda's Madness ending.

He knows who he is... but he also doesn't.

He never really faces his past in Taku's route but he still gets hints about it. He doesn't remember the gory details, but there is still even a teensy bit of closure to be had by Taku confirming to him that his home life was wrought with problems. 

And as I had mentioned in yet another meta, Taku's presence in his life slowly smothers Maya's own. Maybe it won't completely go away, but it would still be weakened and shoved into a lonely and dark corner where its cries will soon fall on nothing but deaf ears. 

This means that there are now parts of his past that he's subconsciously at peace with (more or less), as shown in a scene near the end of Taku's route. 

To recap, Towa didn't want to remember his childhood since the sight of even a single relic of that time had his mind warn him to stop while he was ahead.

Yet when shown a picture of himself in his youth, of when he was still his mother's prisoner, he didn't feel any dread. Not even a slight pang of discomfort. At most, he only muses that if he was a sweet and quiet boy back then, he had long since grown out of that.

But the irony is that by the time he and Taku see each other again after spending a year apart, Towa had become that young boy again, in a way. He's still Towa, but he regains a semblance of the innocence that had been robbed from him when he was still Haruto. 

This shows in how his hair grew long, with the bleached tips now gone. He looks more reminiscent of his younger self. Even though this technically would also have him resemble Maya more, it never becomes an issue. 

He didn’t consciously grow out his hair - though he joked that he did for Taku to see how long he had waited. Even then, it’s not purely an aesthetic choice that he now has that kind of hairstyle. 

This, plus his change of wardrobe to one of lighter and softer material and color, demonstrates that while Towa’s still the person we know him to be, that Taku knows him to be, he’s not exactly the same anymore, albeit in a positive way. Like a child, he openly seeks affection, more openly expresses his affection, is happy to live in domestic bliss with Taku and acts spoiled as a way to both dote on Taku and be doted on by him. 

In a way, it mirrors how the scene where Towa and Fujieda splash water at each other whilst on the ocean as a means of getting to reclaim a moment of innocence they never got to have or share, given what they've been through. 

Even when things play out differently with Taku, Towa can still let loose a little more. He can act childish but in an undoubtedly devoted manner. Because he can love and feel completely safe in someone's arms, which he never got to truly have back then but can do so now.

He can reclaim a part of himself from when he was Haruto, he can look more like his younger self - and consequently, his mother - and it wouldn’t add any weight onto his heart. 

For Taku, it’s all more than worth it. 

#slow damage #fen writes meta

[bliphany]

The Coffee was not drugged. The Coffee reflected how we related to our own and other people's free will (of making one’s own choice)

So I read this post and agreed with it so much I felt myself vibrating. After a few hours of thinking about it, I wanted to ramble more under op’s post, initially, but found that it grew way too long. So, I decided to make a separate post.

After two months since Good Omens season 2 finale, my view of various theories/metas concerning the final fifteen minutes is that, I am okay with most of them as long as they don't erase Aziraphale’s agency.

Did Aziraphale genuinely want to fix Heaven with Crowley but with Crowley’s strong refusal he took the second best thing he thought he could get? I’m fine with that.

Did Aziraphale tried to fix Heaven to make it worthy of Crowley, the world he loved, and his idea of real goodness (he wouldn’t see the world suffer if he could help it) and with the newly-gained information of Second Coming he made his choice even though it broke his heart? I liked this a lot. It was my initial thought right after the finale and I’m still about 65-70% standing by this take.

Did Aziraphale lie to gain more wiggle room in an urgent, intense, and limited-resource situation while due to his own and Crowley’s backgrounds and characteristics they also hurt each other in the process? YES YES YES. Right now this is my favorite interpretation because it’s a realistic and complex bag of limitation/repression from the system, individual’s agency despite of it, free will and choices (never means we won’t make mistakes but always means we can still choose to do something), and their mutual (mis)understandings and relationship dynamics. It’s SO GOOD. It can lead to so many possibilities. It has its depth and enough twist for both characters and the audience. It well-reflected our world and can bring valuable discussions.

Was there something we weren’t shown and actually Aziraphale and Crowley had come up with some plan? I’m okay with that it might be fun.

What I personally don’t want (aside from “oh it’s all God’s plan God wanted them to love each other God is one of us”… but that’s another post I guess…) is to erase the weight of Aziraphale’s choice at the end of Season 2, along with all the good and bad and everything in between it could bring to the table and all the valuable exploration of “how could we thrive to make hard choices even (especially) under limited circumstances, with "a cup of coffee."

I believe that coffee did mean something though...

"Give me Coffee/Freedom or give me death."

Coffee means freedom to choose and free will. Coffee/freedom which Aziraphale was half-forced to take, meaning the “free” choice pushed upon you weren’t as “free” as it seemed after all. Especially true under our current capitalism world, wasn't it? But it was not completely drunk without Aziraphale's agency, either. Coffee/freedom which Crowley asked six shots of. Coffee/freedom which Nina served every day but still on her way to break free from a previous not-free situation. Coffee/freedom which Ms. Sandwich claimed tasted better when Nina was happy.

I think it's also worth mentioning that, Aziraphale served Muriel tea and demonstrated how to drink it but respected their choice not to drink just yet. Aziraphale invited Jim/Gabriel to have a cup of cocoa which Jim/Gabriel described as the best thing ever.

The coffee was not drugged. The coffee was a metaphor of many different ways people could relate to their free will and ability/responsibility to choose.

The most interesting part was, theoretically, we people praise free will, we value choices, and we love love characters to have their agency...

Until they made a choice that we personally don't like, against our point of view, or hurt us.**

**This is also why I never truly believed Crowley would Refuse Aziraphale with capital R in canon... Crowley was definitely heartbroken, but between the two of them, he was also the one who valued and respected people making their own choices more. We saw he did that again and again even when he didn't personally agree. The only once he "took" away others choice in canon was to prevent a suicide.**

Then, that was free will no more. We'd framed it as if said individual was nonconsensual. Or the relationship must be bad or unhealthy. Which was understandable, emotionally, but that was also exactly the point of people having free will, wasn't it?

Giving people agency means acknowledging that they are different individuals from us. There's connection. There's love. There's devotion. They're still their own person just like we are our own. Giving people freedom to choose means they might, will, and should be allowed to choose differently. If their choices break our hearts. Well, they break our hearts. That happens because people are people.

People can't truly choose/love us freely if they aren't also given the freedom to not choose/love us. (Not saying Aziraphale and Crowley didn’t love each other because they definitely do. I’m just saying, they’ve been co-shaping humanity from the start of course they would act more and more like people, and to paraphrase what Adam once said, it made no sense to make people people and then be mad at them when they acted like, well, people)

Ursula Le. Guin wrote this short story called "Nine Lives" and it was about real, meaningful connections were created by reaching out a hand in the dark, without knowing for sure whether there would be other people to reach back.

It’s a practice. To love and to love under the blessing and curse of free will choice.

Idk I’m just… the “coffee was drugged theory” especially didn’t make sense to me personally, because Good Omens has always been a story about human free will.

#good omens #good omens meta #aziraphale #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #Aziraphale’s choice #my good omens meta

[thenationaltreasuregazette]

Really?? Nicolas Cage and the Art of Weirdness

It’s kind of strange that Nicolas Cage is the star of National Treasure, right? Tame, family-friendly Disney flicks aren’t exactly his brand.

While the casting still strikes me as an odd choice sometimes, I am eternally, supremely, primordially grateful that he took the role of Ben Gates.

As I touched on while discussing Abigail’s Accent, National Treasure isn’t a film with a lot of subtly or nuance. At least, it wasn’t going to be until it slowly morphed throughout production, as giant collaborative projects tend to do.

Just like Diane Kruger brought nuance and depth to the role of Abigail Chase through both her acting choices and the presence of her accent, Nicolas Cage transformed Ben Gates from a generic action-adventure hero into something far superior: an awkward, obsessive forty year old man.

To fully appreciate the Nic Cage of it all, let’s begin with what the role looked like before he signed on.

More ↓

For those unfamiliar, there’s a version of the National Treasure script available online that’s dated from the month before Cage signed on as the lead. It’s hugely fascinating in the ways it’s the same as, and also wildly different from, the finished film. You can read more about it here.

Age

The first major effect casting had was changing Ben’s age. In the 2003 script he’s introduced as

…intrepid explorer BEN GATES(late 20s, strong family resemblance)

Obviously Nic Cage was not in his late 20s in 2004. Born in 1964, he was 39/40 when the film shot and 40 by the time it came out.

We know from Ben Gates’ drivers license that his character is supposed to be 39 in the first film, as his birthday is shown as May 1965. Why the one year difference? Hollywood is allergic to people over 40. Next question.

So, Ben went from a 20-something to a (basically) 40 year old man. And that changed the story in a few subtle but important ways.

First, it makes Ben’s quest take on a different flavor. To be in your late 20s and still chasing a pipe dream is not that unusual or socially unacceptable. People in their 20s do stupid, impulsive, risky things. They are socially ‘allowed’ to be a mess. At 40, not so much. Ben’s peers have houses and families and kids who need to be taken to soccer practice.

This makes a difference to me because it emphasizes the desperation of Ben’s quest, and his absolutely unwavering belief in the treasure. It also paints a starker contrast between Ben and his father, because when Patrick was 29 he was still gallivanting around treasure hunting too. By the time Patrick was the age Ben is now, he had disavowed treasure hunting and “grown up” into a normal life. But Ben just won’t let go. The older Ben gets, the less hope Patrick has that he will eventually grow out of it. At 29 that kind of hope would still feel possible for his son. At 39, it probably doesn’t.

Hotness

I’m so sorry that we have to talk about this, but we do.

Ben Gates was clearly written to be played by a hot young actor. That’s hot as in popular, and also as in sexy.* A typically implausibly fit and handsome leading man. This is evidenced not only by his age, but by the two (2) shirtless scenes written for Ben in the 2003 script.

Ben Gates is supposed to be hot.

And Nicolas Cage is...I'm not going to say "not hot," lord knows I'm on the being-normal-about-that-old-man webbed site but sex appeal not the primary reason you cast him.

What Nic Cage is know for is being weird.

*I’m aroace and vaguely sapphic, help me I don’t know what I’m doing here.

Weirdness

Weird. Eccentric. Zany. Over-the-top. Melodramatic.

These are the qualities Nicolas Cage is famous for, but they aren’t qualities the role of Ben Gates necessarily calls for. In fact, too far in any of these directions, and the performance could push an already implausible movie over the edge into farce. We wouldn’t take Ben or his quest seriously enough to get invested in the story.

But Nicolas Cage knew that. For as absurd as the iconic “I’m gonna steal the Declaration of Independence” line is, it's the premise that's ridiculous, not the performance. This isn’t the place to find one of Cage's signature zany performances. Search any number of "Craziest Nicolas Cage performances" lists and National Treasure won't rank. He tones it down enough that Ben feels like a rather grounded person in an over-the-top story.

However, he doesn’t tone it down completely, and that is so important.

The little places where Cage lets a hint of his signature weirdness flicker through round out Ben as a character, and give him more (or at least a different flavor of) nuance than he might have had in other hands, particularly if he were cast and played as a typically suave and macho leading man.

Case Study (Cage Study?)

Let’s look at this line from the 2003 script. This is what the FBI has to say when they’re searching Ben’s apartment.

AGENT JOHNSON Profilers say we're looking at an adult male, a loner, has a high IQ but has never been able to hold down a job, is socially inept, has probably written numerous letters to the White House expressing antigovernment sentiments. We're expecting him to contact us shortly with ransom demands.

This line is supposed to show us how off the mark the FBI is in their theory. The joke is that they’re all wrong about Ben.

Except, are they?

In this version of the script, every one of these items after “adult male” is incorrect.

Ben’s not a loner; he’s been working with Riley for 7 years.

He hasn’t not been able to hold down a job, he’s been salvage diving and treasure hunting consistently.

He’s not socially inept; he’s a ladies man. We hear multiple references to past girlfriends, and of course there’s Patrick’s assumption that Abigail's pregnant.

And obviously he hasn’t expressed anti-government sentiment and has no plans to ransom the Declaration, even in exchange for his own freedom.

What I want to argue here is that with the casting of Nicolas Cage, most of these false assumptions about Ben became true, at least a little bit. Of course there were many forces at work shaping the final tone and content of the film, but all of them—writing, directing, acting, costume design, etc—became oriented around fitting this character to the man playing him.

Loner

In the final film, Ben is a bit of a loner. He doesn’t seem to have known Riley for that long, and he immediately gets betrayed by the only other person he’s close to. His status as an outsider is emphasized by the fact that he and his family have been ostracized from the historical community.

In the 2003 script, this element isn’t present and Ben gives a fake name for other reasons. We also meet his landlady, whom he’s very kind to, and hear about at least one former girlfriend. In short, we get a sense of the web of people in Ben’s life outside of the treasure hunt. In the final film, Ben is seemingly much more isolated.

Job

We also get no evidence about Ben’s job. The 2003 script makes multiple references to Ben working as a salvage diver, which might not be what he hopes for, but it is a clear profession. In the final movie we only get reference to Ben being trained at the Naval Diving and Salvage Training Center, which implies that he’s qualified to work at a salvage diver, but gives no indication that this is what he regularly does for work.

We also have Patrick saying:

PATRICK I have a job, a house, health insurance. What do you have?

The contrast makes it clear that Ben doesn’t have any kind of consistent job. Now, my guess is he does still work salvage jobs in this version, and that’s how he affords his apartment and the other things he needs to keep treasure hunting, but it’s never directly mentioned.

As to why he doesn’t hold down a job, the obvious answer is that it would interfere with his relentless pursuit of the Charlotte and the Templar Treasure. It makes sense that he simply chooses not to keep a consistent job because that’s not compatible with his goals. However, I want to raise the possibility that Ben would struggle to hold down a job even if he tried. If, say, he needed some expensive new diving equipment and took a several months long “normal” job in order to afford it, I think he’d be constantly distracted by the treasure and might quit and/or get fired the next time he needed to dash off on a lead.

Socially inept

Likewise, in the final movie, Ben is charming and clever and all the things a leading man is supposed to be, and also awkward and fairly socially clueless.

On the Charlotte he seems surprised that Ian and his guys turn out to be armed criminals, so either he was so desperate for resources and support to continue the hunt that he’s in denial or he’s very bad at reading people. Or at least, very bad at reading Ian. Maybe both. (There’s also the matter of his very poor attempt at bluffing in this scene.)

He’s awkward with Abigail in their meeting in her office, and even more awkward giving the toast. She even points out to him that he says the poetic things that are on his mind even though most people know they're not supposed to do that.

Then of course we have the “cavalier in my personal life” exchange, which I plan to dig into in depth at a later time, but for now let’s leave it at: Ben is not always on the same page as the people he’s in relationships with.

And there’s the very strange reading of the line “really?” after Ben and Abigail survive the collapsing staircase sequence. He’s amazed that he’s met someone who would also prioritize a historical artifact over personal safety, and he delivers the line just…weirdly.

Conclusion

He’s weird! (affectionate)

Ben Gates is a weird guy!

By the final film, Ben Gates had become a hybrid of the thing he was always supposed to be—a suave, swashbuckling hero—and the thing he was not supposed to be—a weirdo outcast on the fringes of society.

To draw a comparison to another popular Disney adventure flick that came out the year before: Ben was supposed to be the Will Turner of National Treasure, the hunky young underdog who always gets the girl. By casting Nicolas Cage and letting him bring a little history and a little weirdness to the role, Ben Gates ended up edging just a liiiiiiittle bit into Jack Sparrow territory as well.

He occupies both spaces, and I think that duality serves to deepen his character and make him far more interesting than if he was a straight-forward action-adventure hero.

Hooray for weird middle-aged men.

#the national treasure gazette #national treasure #ben gates #nicolas cage #national treasure meta #articles