#aaaaaaand i got it done what a miracle

[sobeautifullyobsessed]

awww yissss ask game! 🌿 🌞 🍉 🌷 🍧 🍓 and 👒 I hope that's not too many but I'm so curious! I hope you have a lovely day <3 <3 <3

Ah, thank you for asking, dear Nonny - and I hope you have a super lovely day as well!🥰

🌿 who is your favourite character you've ever written?

Damn, that's a hard one! I love all my Benedict characters so so so so much, and I love my OFCs in equal measure. But I'm going to rip the bandaid right off and say it's a tie between Stephen Strange in Of Magic, Miracles, and Moonlight, Professor Hennessy in Scarlett and the Professor, and AU Benedict (a poet and up'n'coming actor) in Whiskey Kisses.

🌞 favourite character from current wip

SCARLETT CAMPBELL - my OFC from Scarlett and the Professor

🍉 least favourite character / hardest to write

least favorite - John Watson (though I haven't written any Sherlock fics in years, he remains so)

🌷 writing achievement you want to brag about

Wow- this is toughie!...

I mean, I am continually doing whatever I can to promote my work unahamedly at every opportunity, but for this my mind goes blank. Soooooooo- I'll say chapter twelve of Of Magic, Miracles, and Moonlight, because I believe it captures the essence of the love that has flourished between Stephen and Teyla, and much of the chapter just flowed from me, organically. Aaaaaaand, I want to say the WIP Scarlett and the Professor - I dare to feel it's some of my best work and that the mix of erotica and unspoken love expressed in Scarlett's and Hennessy's adventurous intimacies is the pinnacle of what I've written thus far.

🍧 weirdest place you've written

Oh, this is cool. A few years ago, a coworker and I had to give depositions regarding a customer "accident" we witnessed. We spent the whole afternoon at the office of the plaintiff's lawyer (giving the actual deposition was a fascinating process!); I went first, and while I waited for my coworker to finish hers, I worked on The One That Got Away in the reception area. (chapter twelve -"for love, thou know'st, is full of jealousy"...if you're interested in checking it out 😏)

🍓 worst thing you've done to your characters

Created a situation where the lovers-to-be (they already are in heart and mind, but not in the flesh) experience mixed/missed signals at a large party; jealousy flourishes, and they both do something extremely regrettable--which leads to futher obstacles for their fulfillment. My poor, dear babies! (that same chapter twelve in The One That Got Away)

👒 nicest thing you've done to your characters?

Whenever any of my couples finally get to consummate their love and/or lust--after either unsuccessfully fighting their feelings, or going through much pining and angst.

#thank you Nonny - this was a most excellent ask! #my writing #my art and my shelters from the storm that is my life

[waveswordswhispers]

Next Time

Title: Next Time Author/Authors: @waveswordswhispers Day/Prompt: Day Two - Reminiscent and New Life Rating: T Warnings: Major Character Death, Minor Character Death, Slight Violence, Blood Side Pairings: Kuroken Summary:

As the words, "Next time," fall from red painted lips, Bokuto lets out a sob.

Links: Ao3 Wattpad

@bokuakaweek

Birth.

Life.

Death.

Repeat.

Bokuto has never been a fan of this cycle mortals face.

Don't fall in love with mortals.

A rule Bokuto has never really cared for.

A soul is destined to suffer once the mortal and a god fall in love.

A rule that Bokuto knows is painfully true thanks to things he's seen.

For a god to get involved in a war is not against any rules, it's just rare.

Bokuto usually pays rapt attention to these scuffles, why humans would sacrifice millions over small squabbles is beyond him, but he never involves himself directly.

Until Kuroo decides to join, out of interest and boredom.

Bokuto doesn't particularly like fighting, he's been told he's actually quite good at it, but the blood, violence, and death that war brings isn't something that appeals to him.

He follows Kuroo, partly because he wants to watch Kuroo's back even if gods can't die, partly because he wants to see why humans fight and how.

He's just planned to mostly observe.

Nothing else.

Things never go according to plan.

A rule Bokuto should start to accept.

Bokuto can count the amount of times a mortal has caught his attention on his finger and toes.

He can count the amount of times they've kept it on one hand.

He needs to add the last finger to his first hand.

The human's name is Akaashi Keji.

He's in Bokuto's unit, a mess of slightly curled black hair, steel blue eyes.

He's fierce, cunning, not a mindless follower of orders.

Perhaps that's why he still lives.

He's also not one to bite his tongue, he speaks his mind without hesitation.

He berates Bokuto for charging into an attack that could've killed a normal human despite the fact that Bokuto is a higher rank than he is.

Bokuto's intrigued.

When he tells Kuroo, Kuroo laughs at him before sobering up.

"You shouldn't." Kuroo's eyes are fixed elsewhere and Bokuto follows his gaze to land on another male, dark hair with light, gold colour eyes that remind Bokuto of a cat. He wears a medic uniform.

"I know." Bokuto looks away, his eyes drifting over the scarlet ground, smoke stained sky. "I don't plan to."

Kuroo's laugh is more somber this time, picking up his sword when the medic calls his name with a hint of annoyance.

"Just be careful, Bo."

Things never go according to plan.

The rule that Bokuto tries to forget.

Bokuto attempts to keep his distance, to not let his curiosity get the best of him but he can't help himself.

He finds himself talking to Akaashi whenever he can, doing sentry duty together, sitting next to him when they eat, listening to Akaashi reveal little snippets of his life.

When he fights along Akaashi, it feels exhilarating.

Yanking Akaashi out of potential death situations, running alongside him as they charge into battle, fighting back to back in the hell they call war, Bokuto keeps telling himself, you're not in love, you're not in love.

He's not, or at least he thinks he's not until one night, he's talking with Akaashi while they sit next to a campfire and when he stumbles over his words excitedly, Akaashi smiles softly, not his usual smirk or mocking half grin and then Bokuto realizes, he is.

"I'm not even sure if he loves me," Bokuto babbles as he panics. "I mean, we only met half a year ago, love doesn't happen that fast."

It doesn't.

Does it?

Kuroo shoots him a sideways glance, unreadable as he polishes his sword.

"Love's mysterious," he finally says cryptically. "What's his name?"

Bokuto sighs heavily.

"Akaashi Keiji."

"Oh." Something in Kuroo's voice makes Bokuto stop in his tracks.

"What is it?" Kuroo shakes his head, glancing around, sheathing his sword, troubled smile playing over his lips.

"Nothing."

Bokuto wants to argue, maybe even pry it out of Kuroo but an explosion signals that they're being attacked and he has to leave.

Everyone makes mistakes, even gods.

Bokuto despises that rule.

One moment of not paying attention is all it takes.

One moment, Bokuto's practically flying through the battle, the next, his foot catching on a corpse.

He stumbles and while he's reorienting himself, a sword glints in the corner of his peripheral vision.

He's prepared to take the blow, it might even hurt a bit but he doesn't anticipate the ring of metal when Akaashi skillfully blocks the attack with his own sword.

After dispatching the attacker, he turns and stares at Bokuto sternly.

"You should be more careful."

"Akaaaaashi!" Bokuto exclaims. "I would have been fine!"

Akaashi raises an eyebrow.

"Of course." His voice isn't mocking, it's slightly fond and Bokuto grins widely at him, looking away for a moment.

"HEY!" Bokuto's head snaps up when Kuroo's voice echoes through the air, panicked.

A soft whoosh and the harsh thunk! of an arrow sinking to flesh reaches Bokuto's ears.

He stares at Akaashi who looks back, eyes glazing over in pain, the arrow piercing his chest.

Akaashi collapses, Bokuto barely managing to catch him, lowering him onto the ground gently.

Bokuto can't pull the arrow out, he can't, it'll just make things worse and he can only watch as Akaashi's breathes become slower.

Kuroo's leaping over the fallen bodies, the medic right behind him but Akaashi's eyes are fluttering shut, trying to draw in breath, his chest rising and falling weakly.

A god can't use their powers to directly interfere with a mortal's fate.

That rule has never particularly affected Bokuto until now.

"Akaashi," Bokuto huffs out, grasping the hand that Akaashi slips into his. "A medic's coming."

Akaashi shakes his head slowly, steel blue eyes dull.

He wheezes softly, scarlet splattering over his armour.

"Keiji."

"Next time?" Akaashi murmurs, his voice barely audible. Bokuto can't bring himself to answer, throat stuck until Akaashi offers him an apologetic smile, eyes sliding shut.

Just as Kuroo reaches them, Bokuto manages to force out a, "Yeah," just as Akaashi's breathing stops. "Next time," Bokuto whispers mournfully.

"Are you Bokuto?" A small voice rips Bokuto out of his trance, golden, cat like eyes staring at him.

"Yeah."

"Akaashi often talked about you."

"Oh." Bokuto curls up again, a painful twinge in his heart.

"I'm Kenma. Kenma Kozume."

Oh.

"Kuroo's hu-friend." Kenma tilts his head, eyes swirling with grief.

"I'm not sure if Akaashi ever told you," he says quietly, the cold making puffs of air visible as he spoke. "But he cared for you. Deeply."

Bokuto doesn't reply and Kenma looks over his shoulder at the cross that marks Akaashi's grave.

"I just think Akaashi would have wanted you to know that."

Bokuto stays silent and Kenma takes it as his cue to leave.

Three months later, Kenma's killed in the crossfire and Kuroo exits the war.

Bokuto stays behind.

There's really no set rule for a soul's reincarnation, it's sporadic at best.

Bokuto meets Akaashi's reincarnation three more times.

After the third one dies another early, unfortunate death, he vows to leave Akaashi alone so perhaps, Akaashi will live a full life next time.

Bokuto becomes a teenage boy and enrols into a high school, taking his mind off it by trying out a new sport.

"I'm Akaashi Keiji."

Fate is being cruel.

Bokuto shakes Akaashi's hand, grinning widely, offering his signature, "Hey, hey, hey!" while biting back an, I know.

"What position?" Konoha asks and as Akaashi answers him, Bokuto steals a quick look at Akaashi.

Nothing's changed about him.

Akaashi makes it onto the team and becomes a setter, his setter.

As time passes, Bokuto allows himself to be lulled into a false sense of security because this time, there's no war or conflicts that could possibly endanger Akaashi.

"You're forgetting."

Kuroo's gaze is burning holes into him and Bokuto can hop onto one foot then the other nervously.

"Tetsu," he sighs. "It's peacetime."

Kuroo lets out a pained laugh, his posture sagging in defeat.

"It was peacetime for Kenma as well last time. It didn't end well." Bokuto remembers.

Accidental drowning even though by accounts, Kenma had been a strong swimmer back then.

"You're still with him," Bokuto points out and Kuroo narrows his eyes.

"That's different. I know what will happen. I'm prepared for it. Are you?" The question hits Bokuto harder than he expects and he thinks, mind whirling.

'No' is on the tip of Bokuto's tongue but he swallows it.

"Careful, Bo." He's heard that warning thousands of times.

"I know."

He knows but what difference does it make?

Akaashi introduces Bokuto to his younger cousin who joyfully greets Bokuto and chattering excitedly.

Bokuto's enamoured.

Just as their walking down the street, the volleyball Akaashi's younger cousin is playing with tumbles out of their hands, rolling into the path of an incoming car.

Before Akaashi and Bokuto can yell at them to come back, Akaashi's cousin is darting across the road after it, Akaashi close behind.

A screech of tires.

A cry of pain.

The slow bounce of a volleyball.

The horrified wailing.

Bokuto sinks to his knees next to Akaashi, squeezes his eyes shut urging himself to not cry.

The life drains out of Akaashi once more.

As the words, "Next time," fall from red painted lips, Bokuto lets out a sob.

Steel blue eyes gaze sightlessly up at the sky.

Bokuto hasn't ever added a finger to his second hand.

#BokuAkaWeek #bokuaka #akaashi keiji #Bokuto Koutarou #haikyuu!! #aaaaaaand i got it done what a miracle #once again it ran away from me #Kuroo Tetsurou #kozume kenma

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2007

18 to 19 years old. Things were slowly starting to get better and better.

15 honorable mentions, but this is still only a top 10. What an incredible, amazing year for music. My favorite hit song for the entire decade is in there! I think everyone already knows what that is because I am, in fact, extremely predictable.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

Second to third year of my History studies. Met a great guy. So great, in fact, that I married him in 2019 because we’re still living together 13 years later. Got my first summer job but spent my first pay on driving lessons, because, again, I needed to get out of my parents’ appartment and knowing how to drive would be good to find a job. I had a much better access to internet. I still had great grades. Things were getting much better.

I stopped making my personal lists of favorite songs that year, and I had an mp3 player, which really opened a world of possibilities even if you could only put something like 40 songs on it, at best.

I was still reading Rock Mag a lot. As you can see, the biggest controversy at the time was what was emo and what wasn’t.

We were alright.

As far as non-elligible songs go, well there’s I Still Remember by Bloc Party (and the fact I can’t put it on the list is a heartbreak and a half) and basically everything from Year Zero by Nine Inch Nails. Nightwish, Epica and Within Temptation all had pretty good albums too.

Here’s a metric ton of honorable mentions first!

Snow (Red Hot Chili Peppers) - Perfectly pleasant song.

D.A.N.C.E (Justice) - Never understood why this was so popular. Still good.

Love is Gone (David Guetta) - Heyyyy another repetitive dance track, perfect.

Miracle (Cascada), Smack That (Akon), Chasing Cars (Snow Patrol), SexyBack (Justin Timberlake) and Say It Right (Nelly Furtado & Timbaland) - Still elligible songs for that year. Still great songs. Still not making the list.

Butterfly (Superbus) - I didn’t like this band, but I liked that song.

Thanks for the Memories (Fall Out Boy) - Same here basically.

Who Knew (Pink) - Not her best, but not her worst by a mile either.

Walk It Out (Unk) - Stayed in my head for days, I swear. I have no idea what the general opinion about it is nowadays. Maybe that’s a humiliating pick and I genuinely have no idea.

Crank That (Soulja Boy) - I do, however, know that the fact this very nearly made the list IS hilarious.

Alive (Mondotek) - Laugh all you want about the tektonik phenomenon, this is still a banger and a half.

Sound of Freedom (Bob Sinclar & Cutee B) - Not as good as Rock This Party. That’s the only thing I can say against it.

Umbrella (Rihanna) - This is an edit because holy shit I forgot Umbrella. It very nearly made the list too. Sorry.

And now, possibly one of the best top tens yet.

10 - This Ain’t A Scene, It’s An Arms Race (Fall Out Boy)

US: #32 / FR: #71

Almost everyone got the lyrics wrong. The title is way too long. I really don’t like this band of pretentious idiots; if you’re gonna be pretentious at least write about something more grand and epic than your own navel, and go all out (more on that later). Nobody ever really cared about their supposed feud with Panic! At The Disco. And, to make matters even worse, the singer looked exactly like the terrible ex I had punched in the face the previous year.

This is still a damn good song and it’s on the list instead of any of the honorable mentions.

RIP me.

9 - How To Save A Life (The Fray)

US: #24 / FR: Not on the list

You already know I loved The Fray. This song could have apparently also made the previous list but it’s on this one instead. It was overplayed. I still loved it.

8 - U + Ur Hand (Pink)

US: #29 / FR: Not on the list

In 2002, I bought Pink’s Missundaztood album and as you might remember this was the second album I ever bought in my life, right before the gigantic trainwreck that highschool was.

The fact that about five years (that felt like twelve) later, Pink was on the other side of that trainwreck, back in my earphones, just as energetic and fun as she was before, was nothing short of heartwarming.

7 - Je Suis Un Homme (Zazie)

US: Not on the list / FR: #43

I’m not gonna beat around the bush. This song is terrifying.

Here’s a translation. Yeah, it’s about humanity destroying the Earth and itself in various ways, and it’s preachy, but holy shit, how can something be so bleak, so scary and still so catchy. It’s a mystery.

6 - Double Je (Christophe Willem)

US: Not on the list / FR: #2

When I first heard this song, I genuinely thought that was also Zazie and I was like oh wow, she’s learned to have fun again after that bleak, bleak song.

But no. She only wrote it, and it’s sung by this guy. It’s relatable as hell (”When I grow up it’s gonna be easy, I’ll finally know what I am”, “Who’s fault is it? / I’m something and its opposite / Double me”). The fact that a guy had this kind of voice and that a ton of people loved it (enough for him to win a big talent show and make this the second biggest song of the year!) also did wonders for my dysphoria, by the way.

5 - Ta Meuf (Faf Larage)

US: Not on the list / FR: #19

This is a song applying the most obnoxious rap and hip hop clichés about gangsters (and guys in general) to a woman, and she ends up terrorising all the guys and they’re realising these clichés might, in fact, be really toxic.

It’s a great song about gender roles usually seen in this kind of music and instead of being preachy, it’s hilarious, and well-written (I mean, it’s Faf Larage, it’s a given, but still). Check it out.

4 - Relax Take It Easy (Mika)

US: Not on the list / FR: #12

All hail the new king of pop. He was here to stay and what a breath of fresh air he was. This was very much his year in Europe as soon as the album Life In Cartoon Motion dropped.

My significant other absolutely loved this album and we listened to it wayyyy, way too much, and even with all the radio overplay AND the overplay when we were together, I still can’t get enough of this album.

3 - Love Today (Mika)

US: Not on the list / FR: #39

Here he is again!

If this was any other year this would top the list very easily. What were the US even thinking back then to not let this guy chart. Why isn’t Mika a huge star over there too. What is your problem guys. Do you have something against fun or what.

Anyway, here’s possibly the best comment on the music video:

I mean. You’re not wrong.

2 - What I’ve Done (Linkin Park)

US: #38 / FR: Not on the list

Aaaaaaand they’re back. And they’re once again topping my list. Lord have mercy on me. I loved them so much.

This was the first step into their modern sound, less raw, more U2. A couple of years later, when Lacuna Coil released Shallow Life, I used to joke that Lacuna Coil was trying to sound more and more like Linkin Park, that Linkin Park was trying to sound more and more like U2, and that U2 was trying to sound more and more like boring garbage and. I mean. I wasn’t wrong there.

My absolute favorite part of the song is at 2:24, when the music calms down a bit and the lyrics go “I start again / And whatever pain may come / Today this ends / I’m forgiving what I’ve done” and then the guitar explodes again. So powerful. Love it.

And now you’re probably thinking “so... Linkin Park was back, and with such a top quality song and it’s NOT your #1? After you put a Linkin Park song or a Linkin Park remix at #1 for three years in a row in 2002, 2003 AND 2004? What’s going on, Jo? Are you okay?”

Oh I’m more than okay. Friends and enemies, here comes the absolute best hit song of the entire decade and possibly of my entire life so far.

You probably already know what it is.

1 - Welcome to the Black Parade (My Chemical Romance)

US: #59 / FR: Not on the list (shame on you French charts)

I know I keep complaining about stuff I love not charting, or charting but not high enough to make any year-end list, but... How was this even allowed to chart. Why and how did it end up on the US year-end list when so many more radio-friendly hits I loved couldn’t even scratch the hot 100.

I’m not complaining at all. I’m just baffled.

Play the first note on a piano and I’m already a wreck. Heck, I’m pretty sure everyone from my generation is. It was basically our very own Bohemian Rhapsody. It still is. Where do I even start.

Oh. I know. Look at this page from a 2006 Rock Mag, it’s gold.

Yep, they highlighted The Open Door by Evanescence and praised it, and were like “this is very risky and ambitious and we’re not sure you’re gonna like this” for The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance. Hilarious in hindsight.

A few months later, the same magazine was desesperately using double pages to interview them because everyone adored the album.

So in case you’ve never listened to it (I’m... not even sure why I’m doing this since I’m pretty sure even people who don’t like this type of music have tried to out of sheer curiosity), it’s a concept album about a guy (...possibly. I mean there’s a lot of trans and/or nonbinary hints in the lyrics and did you really NEED to make all of this more relatable? What the hell guys) dying of cancer, remembering all the good and the bad things that happened in his life, and since his fondest memory is seeing a marching band once as a child, death arrives in the form of a marching band. He then settles some scores with his friends and family, says his goodbyes, and... and doesn’t die in the end. He ends up surviving the whole ordeal, and the last song, Famous Last Words, is one the most incredible things I’ve ever heard. It’s so propulsive, uplifting and motivating. “I am not afraid to keep on living / I am not afraid to walk this world alone”. Holy. Shit. Sadly, it’s not elligible.

Welcome to the Black Parade is basically the centerpiece of the album, as you already know or might have guessed, but here’s the thing. It also works out of context because there’s already an entire narrative arc within this one song. It’s larger than life. It’s about death and the meaning of existence. It basically contains all the stages of grief, and the conclusion it reaches is that this guy will be remembered and therefore, he will transcend death. It’s full of rage and passion and triumph. There’s key changes. There’s tempo changes. There’s everything. It’s a rock opera in a single song. I put it on my mp3 player immediately after listening to the album, and it’s still on my mp3 player today. I never, ever removed it. I listened to it countless times and every single time, it feels like rewatching one of my favorite movies.

Best hit song of 2007 by a mile. Best hit song of the decade, hands down, and now that the 2010s are over, I’m pretty confident in saying nothing has topped it so far. I’d say “fight me” if I thought this was a controversial opinion, but it’s not even that controversial.

And that feels damn right.

Next up: Is... is this a list with actual filler? Are you telling us there was ONE mediocre year for music in the 2000s? Sounds fake but okay

#Johannes’ bad not good pretty terrible music lists #music #long post #flashing lights #eye contact tw

[hellomissmabel]

The worst in us - part 5

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Bucky x reader, Steve x reader

Warnings: Foul language. BuckyNat.

Word count: 1.884 (not counting the recap from the last chapter)

Summary: Y/N and Bucky are now dating. Bucky says goodbye to Natasha.

A/N: Inspired by the word “Onsra” (Boro) - that heart-wrenching feeling you get when you realise a love won’t last. Written for @howlingbarnes her “languages of Love” challenge.

Series masterlist

Previously

“Look at that cutie!,” Sharon laughs as she hands you back your phone. “He doesn’t seem like your type, though.”

“That man is everyone’s type,” Peggy assures her half-sister. “And who cares about types anymore? She’s obviously in love with the guy!”

Sharon turns her attention from her sister to you and it’s as if the whole worlds is suddenly conspiring against you. “Are you?,” she pipes up excitedly. “Are you in love with Steve?”

“Girls,” you attempt to laugh away their curiosity, placing a finger over your lips to seal your silence. The air is pulled taut but they’re too caught up in their delight to notice. “I don’t kiss and tell.”

“Oh, she is!,” Sharon and Peggy giggle loudly, unable to contain their perky voices soaring with excitement.

“That’s good, though,” Peggy smiles at you, “Aaaaaaand, he’s a local boy! Knows all the ins and outs of the city.”

“Oh, I bet he’s shown her some ins and outs already,” Sharon adds to Peggy’s comment, gaining another look of disdain from her half-sister.

Regardless of the good intentions behind their playful banter, it strikes an extremely sensitive nerve, but you wave it off like it’s just some dust on a shelf of books. “Now can we please move on to the next subject up for discussion,” you chastise them jokingly, relieved they did not notice how uncomfortable it made you, being put on the spot like that. “You both still have four weeks to go, how are you holding up?”

You manage to put up a straight face whilst discussion the pregnancy of the Carters, but once they are well on their way, you allow yourself to show your true emotions, tears welling up in your eyes. Are you? Are you in love with Steve? Or are you in love with Bucky?

Last night was perfection. The way his beard tickled your skin and his eyes crinkled when he laughs. The way he respected you and made sure you felt respected as well. Bucky wants to appreciate you for you first before rolling about in the sheets, unlike Steve. But do you have the strength to stay and find out if everything else about Bucky is as perfect, too?

Peggy is right, Steve is the bachelor from Brooklyn and Bucky… Bucky is a married man from Manhattan, married to a vengeful figment of your past. Your past in the Hamptons. He is forever tied to the Hamptons through Natasha and just the thought alone will never stop hunting you down.

It hadn’t sunk in just yet, your emotions numbed down by the exhilaration and the novelty Bucky inspires in you, but you’re a cheater now.

“What have I done?” You drop your face in your hands as you start to cry. “What am I gonna do now?,” you sob quietly.

But there’s not much you can do. You can either break it off with Bucky and pretend like nothing ever happened around Steve, broken-hearted behind a pretty smile and forever wondering “what if?”. Or you can break it off with Steve and run away with Bucky, live the rest of your life in sin and disgrace, hunted down by the paparazzi and dragged through the mud by Natasha.

The soft beeping of your phone alerts you there’s a new text message from Bucky. With quivering fingertips, you tentatively open it.

“Sweetheart, I’ve made a decision. I’m going to tell Natasha she’s getting her divorce. I’m going to ask her for a paternity test. I’m going to do all those things we talked about and I’m going to do them as soon as I get back. I miss you so much. I can’t wait for our life together to start. I’ll call you soon. I know I promised not to say it anymore but I love you. I know you love me too. Bucky x”

Neither options sound very appealing to you, but you will have to choose eventually, make an impossible choice. Because every choice comes with loss and it feels like, no matter what, there won’t be much to gain from this particular conclusion.

Bucky’s POV

I drive the way I feel; elated, fast-paced, eager. When I left Y/N’s place, she looked happy. Or at least happier than when I first met her, the gynaecologist with the sweetest smile and the loveliest eyes I’ve ever seen. And it makes my heart sing to know it’s me who’s making her happy.

Natasha’s voice is what shakes me from my trail of thoughts. While I was with Y/N, I didn’t check my phone and never got back to all the text messages she sent me. Neither did I get her the tea she wanted and on top of all that, I showed up late for our meeting with our lawyer. But she never questioned my whereabouts, never asked me where I was last night, and from that I gather that she already knows.

Now we’re back home, Natasha is breastfeeding Ellie whilst giving me an earful about my responsibilities and how I’ve failed to meet her expectations. I couldn’t care less about her expectations or the responsibilities she’s put me up with. All I care about is Y/N.

“Bucky, I know you’re not listening to me but could you please sit down? All that pacing is driving me crazy,” Natasha barks at me, ever the joyful wife.

Like any good husband, I do as she asks me to and sit down on the loveseat opposite of her. Nat thanks me and continues her rant. It’s only when she throws a pillow at me that my attention eventually returns to the present.

“Did you hear anything I said? Anything at all?”

I shake my head, not even bothering to give her a proper answer. She groans and gets up, heading straight for the nursery where she tucks in Ellie. On her way back to the living room, she again bombards me with her obnoxious voice.

“Bucky, babe,… We have to discuss the terms of our divorce.”

“I’ve already told you I’m signing those damn papers,” I snap at her, getting off the couch and going to the kitchen to pour myself a stiff drink. “On one condition.”

She immediately follows me and slams the door to the liquor cabinet right into my face, anger written all over her enhanced skin. The miracles of modern cosmetic surgery. She’s like one of those Barbie dolls, as artificial and plastic as can be.

“James Buchanan Barnes,” she addresses me with my full name, “I’m not spending another minute in this prison of yours!”

“I’ve given you everything Natasha!,” I shout back at her, my grip tightening around a random bottle I’ve taken off the shelf. It tastes bitter when I take a sip of it but at this point, anything that burns down my throat will do the trick.

“I’ve paid off your father’s debts. I’ve managed to buy back your family home in the Hamptons. I’ve tolerated your affair with Bruce. And all I’ve asked for in return is sex and good publicity. Yet ever since you came to Manhattan, I haven’t seen much of either. So excuse me for asking this one, tiny, little thing from you.”

“Bucky, baby, don’t you understand?”

She tries to shush me, but as soon as she attempts to touch me, I see red. “Don’t touch me, you filthy bitch! What more do you want from me?”

“I know, I know, Bucky,” she whispers softly, her voice trembling, “But you’re asking too much of me. You know I’ll give you anything else you want in return. Anything. Else.”

She starts to unbutton her blouse, looking at him through a hooded gaze. This is how she operates, this is what always works for her, her body also a tool to win an argument she threatens to loose. But Bucky wants nothing to do with her and her tricks, stopping her right there and then before this can escalate into something he won’t be able to control.

“You disgust me,” I tell her resolutely, putting an end to her foolishness and her seductive ways by batting her hand away when she reached for my tie instead, before she can take it off. “If you don’t grant my wish and you still divorce me, you won’t be able to afford much. You’ll just have your Bruce and his dog, Hulk. That’s it. Maybe I’ll let you see Ellie every now and then, if she turns out to be mine. If she’s not… I don’t know what I’ll do to be honest.”

“No, Bucky, no! You can’t be serious?!” She frantically searches my eyes for an answer but they’re dull and emotionless, just like hers every time she returns to me when she’s spent the weekend with her lover. “You’re not a cruel man, Bucky. You’re not like this.”

“Y/N,” I eventually choke out, averting my gaze from the woman I call my wife but will never be my love. “I want to be with Y/N. That’s the end of it.”

Instead of handling the situation with words, the palm of Natasha’s hand connects with my cheek. She slapped me in the face, leaving a nasty red mark behind. “Never,” she raises her voice slightly, “Never will that woman ever take something of mine ever again.”

“I’m not yours, doll face,” I retort, rubbing my cheek and wincing at the strength Nat seems to possess. She does have a mean, right hook. “Those are my terms. You can have half of my money, you can have your pity little man and his pity little dog.”

Her eyes narrow at me and she scoffs. “But once the divorce is finalised and you’re back where you belong, in the Hamptons, Y/N is going to be the new woman by my side. And you will keep your filthy hands for yourself. You are not to boycott her, her career, her life or our relationship. I won’t have it. You can do to me whatever you please, but you leave Y/N out of it.”

Natasha takes a couple steps back, hissing through clenched teeth. “This. This right here is exactly what she does. She got your mind all messed up so you’re too blind to see the truth. She’s manipulating you, Bucky!”

“You’re the only one that’s manipulating me!” I point in the direction of the door, resuming my calm. I can’t lose my temper around her or it’ll come back to bite me right in the ass. “Leave. Now.”

When she stands her ground and refuses to go, I push her hard by her shoulders before taking her arm and try to get her to leave by using force. She screams and kicks and scratches me, but my mind is set.

“You’re going to regret this! I’m taking legal actions!”

I throw her purse at her like I’m taking out the trash, some of her things falling out. “By all means,” I snarl at her, “Go to our lawyer, my lawyer that happens to be on my payroll.” Natasha scoffs and starts to pick up her stuff. “Good luck with your new life. Say hi to Bruce for me. And as for Ellie…”

Her head snaps up, her eyes wide with unshed tears and pure, unadulterated resentment. She knows what’s coming, but is still in denial. I straighten my back, looking down at her with a satisfied grin.

“See you in court.”

As soon as the words have left my mouth, Natasha loses it completely, unravelling in front of my eyes. “YOU WILL NOT TAKE ELLIE AWAY FROM ME, YOU PATHETIC PIECE OF SHIT!,” she screams as she bangs on the door, but I have long turned my back on her.

Part 6

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[thephantomsrevenge]

Miracle Mile (1988)

In this movie my man Harry Washello aka Anthony Edwards is on his way to get some with his special lady friend when he picks up a random phone booth call from a dude who straight up tells him that a nuclear war is about to start, fecal matter is about to hit the ventilation device you might say.

Here is the thing, i’m obsessed with end of the world / post apocalyptic / dystopian movies and this is one of the best and one of my favorite movie ever. We’re talking nuclear apocalypse here, we’re talking human on human extermination action. I guess it was popular in the 80s because of the nuclear arms race leftovers, i have been lately deep down into this twenty-four episode television documentary series about the Cold War, you know when usa and the soviet union were threatening each other of mutual nuclear blast and now president orange man decided to bring it back into fashion, so it’s text book convenient. I guess later on hollywood decided to make it more about weather disasters and space rocks because they thought we were done with this shit HAHA GOT TO LOVE THINKING ABOUT TOXIC CLOUDS AGAIN. But i have played the fallout games i am ready, fuck the minutemen though, anyway...

Miracle Mile aka 70 Minutos Para Morir in Spain and Soluzione Finale in Italy is a romantic end of the world movie directed and written by my dude Steve De Jarnatt in 1988, known for his work on Cherry 2000 (another 80s cool SF movie) aaaaaaand the Lizzie Mc Guire tv show, that’s a very peculiar curriculum right here. The movie is named after a real neighborhood in Los Angeles, never been there sadly but it’s on top of my list next time i’m in LA because i’m that dude in Parks and Recreation who goes to Paris and check the bridge from Inception. 

dude where is my car part 2

Few words about the cast, main dude Harry Washello played by Anthony Edwards aka ACE, that Goose dude from Top Gun and also from the ER tv that you watched whenever you wanted your anxiety to beat records. Main girl Julie Peters played by Mare Winningham, look i know it was the 80s but that haircut is a straight no no, anyway very busy actress, been in like a 100 tv shows and movies, she also released albums, i mean so busy it makes my head spin.

But i guess what i like most about the cast are the small parts. I mean you have that jerk dude who send the ghostbusters to crazy people jail Kurt Fuller who’s also being a dick here. 

tbh maybe we will all be that dude when the bombs start dropping

Then you have the jerk psychiatrist from Terminator Earl Boen who made a living of not believing the end is near.

there’s no more incoming nuclear attack than there is naked robot dudes coming from the future to kill the head of the future resistance trust me

But most of all you have muscular dude Brian Thompson, a very interesting fella. You might also know this dude by being one of the dudes who made the mistake of contesting the terminator fashion choices at the beginning of the first movie. This man, with a master of fine arts in his pocket is the official hollywood shapeshifter, if you know anyone who played 5 shapeshifting dudes in 5 different programs you let me know, 2 of his most famous shapeshifting works were of course in the X-Files and Buffy the vampire slayer. 

even though he plays a muscular gym dude in this movie after investigation he turns out he gets all his power from windsurfing, you’ll do whatever you want with this piece of information

This movie has everything you need, the impending doom scenario, a cute love story, humans turning on each other like you thought they would in an apocalyptic scenario (come on if the end of the world sirens start blasting tomorrow you think people are gonna wait in line at the grocery store to stock up on water and smoked ham ?)

But it’s still has this stupidity type vibe you get from 80s movies, the main guy randomly answer the phone call announcing the end right in front of a diner at 4 am, same diner where is peacefully drinking coffee a woman who supposedly works for the government and also used to date a dude who worked at the Rand Corporation (real thing responsible for the creation of the Mutual Assured Destruction or MAD which basically meant during the cold war that both United States and USSR had to have the same nuclear power which meant that any attack could result in the assured destruction of any side, meaning if both sides are convinced they could fuck each other up real good they would never actually do it, it’s freakin crazy you should read about it if u never have) and knows only way to escape a nuclear cloud is to fly to Antartica but then the same woman also gets a dumb waitress and a random workman to make a list of important people to bring by on the trip, i mean the waitress suggest nba coach Pat Riley. 

part of the movie happens in this diner, fat boy probably because the 2 bombs the United States dropped on Japan were named Fat Man and Little Boy, you thought you were reading about a movie but you got hit by the history class

Most importantly this movie provides one of the best soundtrack ever made, brought to you by the Tangerine Dream collective, mainly Paul Haslinger in this case. You might know them from the Thief or the Keep ost that i should probably talk about later, but also maybe from GTA V (you’ll hear the similarities mostly on the first track called Teetering Scales which really sounds like the mission music theme in GTA V). The music makes the first minutes of the movie amazing, mostly thanks to the track called On The Spur Of The Moment really one of the best piece of ambient stuff there is. Check the ost here :

I don’t know what else to say about this movie but you need to watch this you won’t regret it.

Special Shout Out to this background couple who decided to welcome the end with a bang

Spoiled Cabbage rating : 99 %

[celiocian-blog]

And How’s Your Monday Going?

I told you people I would write. Here’s this POS I wrote for a contest for school.

You know, I’m not a fan of people. They can be a real bunch of bastards. Going around killing, stealing, breaking hearts. I know what you’re thinking - one of these things is not like the other. But it is just as serious. When a heart shatters, that’s all a person can think about for at least a solid week. How you want the one that did it to suffer as much as you, how you want them completely obliterated from the face of the planet…

Breakups are hard. Emotions are painful. And people strive to destroy your emotions, every last ounce of humanity a person may have. And yet, it is still a human pastime. Why? We still don’t know. Humans are cruel beings. And I want the heart of the man that did it-

Well. Ain’t that a load of shit. Sure, I agree with the people info, but goddamn, quit listening to the classical music while you type. You’re gonna die of a busted heart from somebody that didn’t even exist. Creepy freak.

I sat up from lounging across my couch, or at least tried my hardest to. Thing was sinking bad, but what can you do? Being a bachelor isn’t a life of glitz and gold. And glitter. I think glitter should be in that sentence too. It’s sparkly and all that jazz. At least I have time to read, if you call that depressing dreck a piece of literature. Either way, I snapped the book shut and tossed it halfway across the room, barely missing the cat.

Sorry, Sinbad. But you shouldn't be in the center of the room. Quit licking your ass while you’re at it.

I hopped up and brought my arms into the air, bending my back backwards in a lackluster attempt to remove the kinks from my spinal column. Nearly freaking snapped my spine at the sudden damn car horn, though. Mofos need to learn to drive in this damned city, don’t want a Buick driving through the front wall.

I tossed my old shirt that I slept in across the room and made a lazy beeline towards my bedroom, in other words, my closet. Not much was bound to be in there, though. Probably needed to do laundry - shit kept popping up all the damn time. The very fact that I had any work-acceptable dress shirts was in and of itself a miracle gracing the face of the planet.

To be honest, dress shirts and khakis with ties are some of the plainest shit known to man. Seriously, at least let us wear jeans or something, goddamn. And the ties, God, the ties, those freaking fashionable nooses. And I have to do this all in the god-forsaken morning, you fucking asshole boss.

Okay, maybe he’s not too big an asshole, but still. He makes us get up in the morning. But he did give me that raise… And the whole living situation thing… But still! Morning!

Okay, scratch that. I just complain about a lot of shit. Mornings included. Goddamn, do I hate mornings.

After a few select curses, I eventually find those ugly ass pants and pull them on, moaning and groaning the entire time that I do. It’s cold in the room, which means these nuthuggers are just as freakin' cold. Then again, it’s New York in late November. What else is to be expected? I guess this means I need to invest in a better trenchcoat for the the winter season. Or a parka. Just something warmer than the piece of cloth I have now.

I feel kinda guilty turning the heat on in the apartment. It’s technically not mine, after all. Then whose is it, you ask? My boss’s. Soooooo… Yeah. Not an asshole. Needed a place to stay post-divorce and he offered up his apartment for when he had late nights. Nice and fully furnished at least, but it’s creepy sleeping in my boss’s bed. Hence the couch.

After a whirlwind of clothes and tripping over random shit, I finally began my trek to work. Pros of being in this apartment: close to work. Cons: close to work. Well, could be worse. Like I said, my boss is nice and my coworkers are the same for the most part. I’m head of IT so I have to deal with stupidity a lot, but most everyone is pretty competent. Mostly.

Grabbing my phone before heading out probably would’ve been a mistake if not for the fact that I desperately needed it. Apparently, some freaking person decided to call and leave a voicemail! Who the fuck does that anymore? Does anyone even remember their voicemail password besides me? I think not!

Popping in the quadruple digit code brought me to the box itself. “You have one new message from Neil.” Neil? Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. If there was anyone’s voice I didn’t want to hear, it was Neil’s. He was probably still aiming to take all my money and my video games and my cat and by god, I was not going to let that happen.

Manning up the best I could, I pressed the button to listen to the message. Maybe he decided to be civil. “Hey, Baxter, I need to talk to you. Just some stuff here that I figured you might like that I think you left by accident. A few books, a picture or two. Your rings are still here, too. Maybe we could meet up for coffee at that place you like and talk about it.”

He was quiet for a moment, probably trying to think of some way to lure me back to him. “Anyway, um, I hope you’re doing well. The flat’s pretty quiet without you and Sinbad.” He laughed softly, in that way that made me melt when I was still naive. “I still love you. If you ever want t0 think about getting back together, I’m here-”

I hung up and quickly deleted the message, giving myself a moment to catch my breath. There was no way in hell that I would be going back to that ass, not after everything he did to me these past three years. I was done with him. I swallowed down what little ounce of a panic attack that was trying to creep its way in and left the apartment.

Having been raised New York, hiking through snow is an easy yet still interesting thing to do. Boots are your friend and you should always hunch forwards to move your center of gravity. Make sure to make a pissed off face, too, to get everyone out of your way. It scares people and makes them more intimated. I’ve since mastered this fine art of resting bitch face-ery, especially today after that fucking moment dealing with fuck his face Neil. At least, I thought I had mastered it, but the guy I bumped into, whoo boy. He really took the cake.

Imagine as pretty a face a man can have - full pouty lips, long eyelashes, dark blue eyes that nearly fucking pierced into your soul… And the most annoyed scowl I had ever seen in my life. Like, parts of the guy’s face looked mid twenties, others looked pushing on thirty. He stood in front of my office building, tip tap typing away on his cell phone like a goddamn teenage girl and scaring people off with the RBF that only the gods could have granted. Bet he was a prick to talk to.

I made very sure to whistle the Kill Bill whistle as I walked into the building. By god, I was going to make Mr. Shit Face aware of his own existence to everyone around him. Only, I guess I didn’t expect him to follow after me inside. Was he gonna kill me? Shit, maybe the whistle really was a bad idea. If I get murdered, I’m gonna be pissed.

I resisted the urge to spin a few times through the revolving doors before being met with the way too fancy lobby. This was supposed to be a charity, right? Especially those fancy-ass elevators which I made a bee-line for, immediately forgetting the whistle… Only for it to be slammed shut in front of me. Stairs it is, but hey, maybe the excruciating pain in my legs will null out the excruciating pain in my heart.

I turned the corner around the elevator and found the rarely used stairs door. I mean, seriously people. Why do stairwells all look the same? All concrete and bland and prison-slash-highschool looking. I scowled to myself and began making my way up, trying desperately to not trip while walking up the stairs.

Okay, he was following me to and up the stairs. Maybe I should’ve taken the elevator today, after all. Still not too skippy of this guy stalking after me as if he was going to kill me. Both of us up two floors, three floors, four floors. What the fuck? The hell is this guy trying to do? I really wasn’t entertained with the idea of the last person’s voice I had listened to being Neil’s.

I scrambled through the door that led to my floor and this FUCK was still following me! Goddammit, time to man up twice in one day! I spun around to him as he walked through and stared him down (awkwardly, yet literally… he was a couple inches shorter than me). “H-Hey! You got a bone to pick with me or something?”

He blinked and tilted his head to the side an inch, causing a dark lock of curly hair to fall. Wait, don’t tell me I jumped to conclusions. Oh shit oh shit oh shit. “Pardon?”

Wait, what? Was he seriously not going after me? Did I really just jump to conclusions? Maybe this divorce was getting to me head… Goddammit, was that a blush coming to my cheeks and I am not a smart man. “You were following me! What do you want from me?!”

He kept on with the owl-eyed stare before slowly shaking his head, his lips curling into a tiny smile. Goddammit, I did jump to conclusions. Fuck me sideways-

Aaaaaaand he’s gone crazy. Interrupting me from my mental scolding was him suddenly bursting out into this weird fit of laughter. And by fit, I mean full on, eyes closed and watering, hand over mouth, practically at a right angle he’s hunched over so much fit. Goddammit, I was not funny. And that was not funny.

Not that I could actually get around to protesting because the moment I came out of my shocked stupor, his laughter was winding down. Stupid little grin still plastered to his stupid little face, he reached up and pat my shoulder. “Thanks for that. I really needed it after what I went through this morning.” And with that, he walked off! That stupid little prick just disappeared into the distance, off to whatever department he worked for!

Wait. What department did he work for? Now that I think about it, I don’t think i had ever seen him around before. And this may be a big company, but I usually recognize people that work here. But nope, this guy was a brand spanking new hire. Obviously not IT, I didn’t have to deal with the interview process.

Whatever, I’d probably be getting an email begging me to fix his new computer. “Help me!” he’d say. “I’m stupid with computers!” Ahhh, aren’t they all? And that, ladies and gents is why I have job security.

I made damn sure to avoid every desk I could see, trying my hardest to not be spotted for some sort of tech help. It was like a weird game of hide and seek. Except being caught would lead to you being miserable for the next hour. Yay work.

Long story short, I made it past the hoards of sheeple to my office and plopped right down in my chair, turning on my computer in hopes of a lack of emails. Apparently, the boss man decided to be nice to everyone because they was only one in the inbox and the subject was “New Hire.” Yay, home team! I get to figure out who bug face is!

I leaned forward into my hand with my elbow on the desk (probably like you are right now) and skimmed through. Blah blah blah, recent hire, blah blah blah, be nice, blah blah blah, oh look, name! Apparently this guy was named “Isidore Elijay.” That was certainly a hell of a name.

Now to check and see where he was working. I don’t remember anyone saying they were looking for new hires recently, maybe he was just an intern. But then again, he looked too old to be one. God, come on, email, enough with this fluff!

Wait.

Does that say what I think it says?

“Isidore has been hired as my new personal assistant. Hence, I certainly expect you to give him the utmost respect.”

Awwww, shit.

#writing #my writng #Baxter #Codename: IDK #first person